Errrm so I am not going to sleep tonight man I'm just sitting here watching YouTube while "trying" to fall asleep. So hopefully I get some sleep bc I get to distracted by to much stuff😞😞
Some days I'm drowning, but most nights they feel the same.
I’ll wake up one day, and forget orange is your favorite color. One day I'll forget our first fight. One day, like devils advocate, I'll forget the first time we made up. Our life, too chaotic chasing tails, became just a memory to save ourselves. The best high became the worst withdrawal. Flies in my eyes, bugs in my spine. Fiending for more. Nothing no more to find.
I hope to forget, and remember more. The night I hit you, stuck in my brain. I'll never forget that, like your name. The second time you hit me, I want to still protect your name. Choreographed into my own faults. My pride drops, because when you kiss someone and their breath smells like comfort and gives your lungs air you get put into a spell, forget all red that clogs up the love colored hue. Stuck in the past of yesterday, hopefully I will get my favorite song back. Playing it, while the ghost of you sits on display is more aggravating than anything and all else I could say. Marlboro reds, sit like ash. They make me think of you. Burned my throat, but the addiction got me in a chokehold bad. Moved into a new place, and you tainted that place. Screamed and yelled, paintings thrown to the kitchen ground. Sugar spilled over the tile, bangs on my bathroom door. If that was the last time I saw you, is it wrong of me to still confess and say I hug you maybe a bit longer? Tighter, I don’t know. I'll hopefully let this go. I will forget our springs. Forget our winters too. Remember the smell of liquor, and foil but not much left in between. Was this real? I won’t lie, reality is somehow twisted to me. I am never alone, you are long gone but you sit in my corners, cracks, in spiders, the damn dust, but I know you are not coming back. Don’t think I miss you, I actually hate you more than that. Love and hate look the same to me now looking back.
So, this film was much scarier than I expected. Clowns are truly dreadful #cantSleep #AllHallowsEve #horrorFilm #dvd https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj6tJu6uCmB/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=