#anyway i am 20 now and it’s been pretty good so far

[matryosika]

Maknae Line: Love Languages and Sex

Wordcount: 6,250 words

Genre: Smut, headcanons and scenarios.

Includes: Skz maknae line members, female reader, dirty dialogues. Mentions of stress in Seungmin's scenario, and the tiniest bit of angst too.

Author's note: Finally, the maknae version is here! I know it took me a while, and I apologize, but here it is. This is all lovey-dovey, just sweet filth. I had tons of fun writing this, so I hope you guys like it. If you want, you can check out the Hyung Line version here. This is not proofread, and english is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Enjoy!

If you wish to support my work further, please consider buying me a coffee! The job hunting has not been good pretty far, so every single tip is appreciated. Also, feedback, reblogs and comments/asks are very motivating for me to keep on posting. I love you.

Smut warnings: Dirty dialogues and curse words. Use of petnames, mutual masturbation (for Jisung's scenario), oral sex, face fucking (for Felix's scenario), cum eating (for Felix's scenario), shower sex (for Seungmin's scenario), choking (for Jeongin's scenario), body cumshot (for Jeongin's scenario), also possessive Jeongin because I love him so much.

Jisung: Physical Touch and Quality Time

"Is this one okay?”

Jisung has been scrolling for about 20 minutes over the movie catalog, trying to pick a movie for you to watch together.

A waste of time, you think. It’s not like you’re going to watch it anyways, and he knows it. But he still spares some of his time to try and find the right one, something you'd want to watch... or have as background noise while you two make out.

“Yeah,” the movie looks promising, but considering’s Jisung’s sneaky hand between your thighs while he mindlessly stare at the screen in front of you two, you’re really sure you’re not going to pay any attention to it. “That one’s good”.

Once the movie starts playing, you two settle in beneath the warm blankets with all sorts of snacks, candy and chips to munch from, happily enjoying each other's company.

Because of college and part-time jobs, it’s has been a while since you last enjoyed a chill, relaxed weekend with your boyfriend. Surely, he does everything he can to meet you throughout the week —a quick call between your classes to chat for a while, an unexpected invitation to eat or have dinner, driving to where you work so he can pick you up and drive you home… Jisung always finds a way to spend some time with you, even for ten or fifteen minutes.

That's why whenever you two are free for the day, he rushes up to your apartment, or ask you to meet in his, just so he can spend all day together with you. Sometimes you two go out and enjoy a nice dinner somewhere, followed by a late-night walk through Seoul’s streets. Some others, you’d rather spend your weekend at home, ordering take out and just unwinding together like you’re doing right now.

But almost always, such dates end with you two fucking like you haven’t seen each other in months.

“The screen is right in front of you, Ji,” you tease him, once you realize his undivided attention is all over you, and not the movie he allegedly chose because he has been meaning to watch it for a while now.

“I know,” he simply replies, tilting his head while his loving eyes keep staring at you.

You turn your face to him, defeated. “You know, ever since we started dating I’ve never been able to watch a 2-hour movie complete”.

Jisung smiles fondly, letting out a soft scoff. “Am I really the only one to blame?”

“That’s not the point!,” you can feel the heat in your cheeks when he says so, but you try your best to remain calm. “The point is that you’re not paying attention to the movie, and it’s really good”.

“Oh, so you’d rather watch the movie?” his teasing tone tells you that you’re most definitely not going to keep on watching the movie, not even if you tried.

And although you’re not a fortune teller, the sudden touch of his hand against your inner thigh proves you right.

“If this is what you wanted since the beginning, why bother spending hours looking for something to watch?” you hum, spreading your legs underneath the comforter, welcoming Jisung’s touch.

He gives you a mischievous look before returning his attention to the screen, leaving his hand between your thighs without doing anything further. 

“You know, you’re right,” he sighs, cuddling into his spot. “We should watch the movie, we’re almost halfway through it”. 

His touch isn’t foreign to your body, but that doesn’t mean you’ve gotten used to it. Every time he touches you, it feels like it’s the first time he ever does so. It feels like a spark of electricity, one that ignites your desire in no time.

“Yeah right,” you chuckle, shifting your position on the couch to get close to him. “You’re saying so like you’re not going to forget about the movie in 5 minutes”.

“Do you want to bet?”

Typical Jisung. His fun and always-down-for-a-challenge personality is probably one of the things that made you fall in love with him profoundly, so you smile at him. “Bet what? That you can’t keep your hands off of me?”

“You can’t keep your hands off of me,” he mocks you, staring at you with loving and playful eyes. “I’m just too handsome for you not to crave me all the time”.

You roll your eyes, but you know he’s right. There’s something enticing about him, something that captured your attention ever since the day you met him for the first time. You can’t think of going on a day without kissing him, or touching him, or letting him fuck you in every room of your apartment.

“Okay, okay, I think we’re even,” you tell him, leaving a quick peck on the corners of his lips. “You crave me just as much as I crave you”.

Jisung pouts because of the quick kiss, his hand moving from your inner thigh to your hip. “So we can forget about the movie, then?”

You chuckle softly, brushing your nose against his as he leans over your for another kiss. “It’s not that good, anyways”.

“No?” the dark-haired purrs against your lips, kissing you deeply while his tongue grazes yours. He only stops the kiss to let you breathe for a couple of seconds, but kisses you again right after. “Is this better?”

“A hundred times better,” you smile, still kissing him while his hand gets lost in the hems of your clothing.  

Next thing you know, the comforter has been discarded to the floor and Jisung's running out of clothes to take off from you, only leaving you in your underwear. His hands touch and grope your body like it’s the first time he touches it, like he is just exploring it despite knowing it very well.

Jisung always touch you like he has been craving it for ages, dragging his palms over the sides of your body and pressing you against his to feel you even more, completely at all. He kisses and licks your neck and chest, letting out quiet moans in between, enjoying your smell and the way your skin welcomes his love bites by turning shades of pink and red.

You latch your fingers onto his dark, soft hair when he slides your underwear to the side, his fingers immediately offering you the much needed stimulation. You do the same, sneaking your hand underneath his underwear to find his erected cock that is already leaking, practically begging for your touch.

“You got one thing wrong, though,” he murmurs in between kisses, shifting his position on the couch just slightly so that you can comfortably masturbate him while he does the same for you. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to crave me more than I crave you”.

“Do you want to bet?” you chuckle against his lips, drowning a moan when you feel his cock throbbing inside your fist.

The more you jerk him off, the sloppier Jisung’s fingers get, and the more he stimulates your clit, the slower the rhythm on your wrist —it’s a neverending moment. You’re kissing while pleasing each other, moaning in between, losing the pace of your ministrations as you both chase your highs, murmuring sweet nothings under your breathes, interrumpting the kisses to look at each other with lustful eyes and furrowed eyebrows, parted lips and quiet whimpers.

It doesn’t take you long to come in each other’s hands, making a mess of yourselves and your underwear. You’re now dirty, and practically naked, so Jisung can’t lose the opportunity to change his mind about the movie.

“Do you want me to run a bath for us, baby?”

You’re sure you know how that is going to end, but you can’t refuse.

Felix: Words of Affirmation and Quality Time

You both have been waiting for this exact moment ever since the last time you saw each other. Which was two days ago, but it felt like ages.

Tonight, you’re supposed to attend a dinner party of one of your closest friends, but you’re really struggling to get out of bed. Especially because it's Felix who's holding you hostage between his arms, pouting and whimpering every time you remind him of the very little amount of time left to get ready.

“Let’s ditch the dinner,” he tells you, snuggling underneath the bedsheets and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Let’s stay like this all night. What do you say?”

You throw a pillow at him and get free from his hold. Truth be told, you'd rather accept his proposal, but you can't ditch on this very close friends of you, especially on such an important occasion as a birthday is.

“Come on, Lix,” you murmur, walking towards the bathroom mirror to do your makeup. It had been a wise decision to take a shower before cuddling each other during the afternoon, otherwise you'd be more in a rush than you already are.

You hear him groan, and curse, and groan again until he meets you at the bathroom, joining you in the sink to brush his teeth and do a little bit of makeup.

When he approaches you, you notice his semi-hard bulge underneath his grey sweatpants as he relentlessly tries to fix and conceal it. Perhaps the cuddling session got to him, and he would rather stay at home and fuck you on every position known to mankind than going out and missing the warmth of your body.

You understand him, though.

“What?” he chuckles, his deep voice startling you minutes after being shamelessly looking  at his crotch. “Did you change your mind?”

Hadn’t been this a very close and dear friend of yours, you’d cancel them on the spot. But you really want to go, so the plan is still on.

However, it doesn't really matter if you get there a little late, does it?

“No,” despite your answer, the way you close your cosmetics bag mid-through your makeup confuses Felix. “But we can have fun of our own before meeting our friends, don’t we?”

His eyes widen just a little. “We’re not going to make it on time if we start,” he tells you, tilting his head flirtatiously towards you.

“The point is to be there,” you reply, planting a wet kiss on his freckled cheek. “I don’t mind if it takes us a little while to get ready”.

Felix wraps his arms around your body and holds you close to him, forcing your lips against his in a peck that quickly, turns into a heated french kiss.

He kisses oh so deliciously. Never too rushed, and never too sloppy. He kisses you slowly and roughly, fucking your mouth with his tongue and biting your lower lip in between, pulling it just in the slightest to earn a hiss from you.

“You’re only getting me harder,” Felix murmurs when you interrupt the kiss to breathe. Judged by the strong pressure against your thigh, you can only assume he’s right. “I’m gonna need to jerk off or else I'm going to spend the entire dinner like this”.

“Jerk off?” you query with knitted eyebrows, your hand playing with the hems of his sweatpants and underwear, “I’m right here, Felix”.

“I don’t want to ruin your make up,” it’s not fully done yet, but he doesn’t want to discard your efforts in what you had by now. The eyeliner and mascara were surely going to make a mess —last time he fucked you, you both realize it wasn’t as waterproof as they claimed them to be. “And I don’t want to make a mess out of you either”.

“I don’t care,” you whisper, leaving a trail of kisses from his lips, along his jaw and into the crook of his neck, “let me help you”.

“I won’t take responsibility for anything,” Felix warns you while not being able to divert his gaze from your figure that's currently kneeling in front of him. He rests his body against the edge of the bathroom countertop, with his back facing the mirror, and guides his fingers to your freshly brushed hair, “so you better start thinking about a new outfit option”.  

“Got it,” you hum, lowering his clothes to release his erection that's throbbing and pulsating inside your fist, begging for you to pay attention to it. “What about that black dress you like so much, huh? Should I wear that one tonight?”

Felix closes his eyes and throws his head back when he reminds the piece of clothing you’re referring to. Not only that, but the memory paired with the feeling of your warm tongue swirling against the tip of his dick earns you a deep moan from him.

“Y-yes,” he hisses, forcing his head down and opening his eyes to admire the whole scene. “But don’t expect me to keep my hands off of you tonight if you do”.

You smile while smacking his cock against your tongue, tasting the salty precum from his tip. He looks beautiful from this angle —his slightly sloping face is commanding, and his normally gentle eyes are now dark with desire.

“Like that,” Felix encourages you, grabbing a fistful of your hair while forcing your head back, “do that again for me”.

You stick out your tongue further and slap his cock against it yet again, making sure to put on a full show for him. You let drool fall into your chest, staining the dress you’re currently wearing —and the one you were supposed to use at the birthday dinner tonight— but you don’t do anything about it because you know how much Felix likes that.

“Fuck,” he sighs, guiding the grip on your hair towards his dick, asking you to take him fully inside your mouth. You follow compliantly, because that’s exactly what you want too. “You’re so- fuck, so fucking beautiful”.

Felix has a way with words. He's very vocal at all times, especially when it comes to sex —not a day goes by without him praising and complimenting you. That’s just one of the many ways he shows his love towards you, and he knows how much you love it.

“Since when does your pretty mouth can take me so well?” You hold your breath when your nose hits his pubic bone, drooling all over his cock as he says so. After much fooling around with Felix, your body has grown to know him fairly well, “you’re making me feel so good”.

You take his cock out of your mouth and continue stroking him using your own drool as lubricant, offering him a delicious friction that has him gripping the edge of the bathroom counter until his knuckles turn pale.

Felix does his best to keep his eyes open, staring down at you while you suck on his cock eagerly, demanding something he can only give you. He’s just about to give it to you, but he wants to elongate the moment as much as he possibly can.

“Look at me,” he demands, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face. “I want to come while looking at your face”.

You're definitely not the best looking right now, with all the drool spilling from your mouth and your eyeliner and mascara smudged, but Felix thinks you've never look prettier. He loves this side of you, the dirty one.

He caresses the side of your face with his thumb, wiping away a few tears running down your cheeks after taking all of his dick inside your mouth. “I love you so much,” Felix quietly moans, his words getting overshadowed by his heavy breathing, but still managing to reach your ears nonetheless. “I love you so- fuck, so fucking much”.

You smile against the tip of his dick and increase the movement of your wrist around him, getting yourself ready for his orgasm —an orgasm that doesn’t take too long to happen, shooting white ropes of cum onto your face and dress while he curses and whimpers your name under his breath.

After a couple of seconds of him overcoming his high, and you licking his arousal up until he’s clean, Felix helps you get up from the floor and kisses you just as deep as earlier, tasting himself off of your tongue.

“I’m fully convinced I want to marry you,” he chuckles against your lips, licking up some of his cum on your chin.

“Well, my hand looks a bit empty without a ring, you know?”

Seungmin: Acts of Service and Quality Time

When you called him, crying over the phone, Seungmin's heart was practically wrenched.

“I’m so- I’m so fucking stressed,” despite his efforts to try and talk to you, asking you what’s wrong, you just couldn’t begin to explain him that there was nothing, specifically, wrong. You just felt overworked and tired because of college, and you were having a hard time handling everything.

“Where are you right now?”

“College campus,” you tell him, trying your best to look collected while crying, sitting on a bench not too far from the main building. “I’m supposed to attend another class in like-”.

“I’m picking you up,” it's not a question nor a proposal. It's an affirmation, one that you're ready to argument.

“No, Seungmin. It’s okay, I-”

“You’re not okay, you’re crying,” his voice is filled with concern, and judged by the noises in the background you can tell he’s walking while on the phone. “Let me take care of you”.

You agree, but feel guilty immediately afterwards once you realize that he probably left everything he was doing just to meet you. You didn’t ask him to, but he showed up a couple of minutes later, picked you up and drove you to your apartment, staring at you from the side every now and then just to see if you were okay.

“I’m sorry,” you exhaled. “I overreacted, I don’t know why I cried like that and I- just wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t mean to worry you, it’s really not a big deal. I’m just stressed over college and that’s it”.

“You’re rambling,” he cuts you off, sweetly and delicately as he always does. It’s not that he doesn’t want to listen to you, because he always does, but he knows you have this habit of rambling whenever you’re anxious. “I drove all the way here because I wanted to be with you”.

“Yeah but-”

“Hamburger or pizza?”

“Huh?”

“What are you craving for dinner?” Seungmin has always said he is not very good with emotions, but you disagree —he might not be one to use words, but his actions always speak louder. “I’m craving pizza, but I don’t know if you’re down for that”.

“Pizza is good,” you reply. “But let me- I just want to apologize, really. I feel so fucking silly for throwing a tantrum like a child”.

“Child’s tantrums are way worse,” he interrupts you, but his voice is so soft and delicate that you can barely hear it over your rushed, disorganized speech.

“My point is that I’m sorry for crying on the phone like that. You didn’t need to do all this, and now I feel awful. It’s just college stress, nothing I can’t handle”.

“And my point is that I know you can handle everything, as you always do,” he reassures you, turning to face you at a red light, “but I want to help you handle everything, too. If you call me crying, I don’t see why I can’t rush out to you and take care of you, it doesn’t matter the reason behind those cries”.

There's a lump in your throat that threatens to make you cry again, but this time for all the opposite reasons. You’ve never felt this safe and loved until you met him.

“So pizza it is?”

He drives to your favorite pizza place and orders take out  —the sky is getting grey, and the wind is getting chill so he would rather have dinner at the coziness of your apartment. You both eat, unwind, talk about your day prior to meet each other, and enjoy the company that you desperately needed today.

“I think I’m going to take a shower,” you inform him after doing the dishes together. “I think it’ll help me sleep better”.

“Mind if I join you?” Seungmin asks you, drying his hands with a small, kitchen towel. “Both to shower and bed”.    

It’s not every day you get to sleep in the very same bed as him, so you agree without thinking it twice. Knowing you’ll get to spend the night with him makes you forget about all the daily stress already, so you’re grateful he’s sharing his time with you.

“Close your eyes,” he warns you with a smile and hands full with shampoo foam. You follow his order compliantly, and the next thing you feel are his hands massaging your scalp and hair with shampoo. “Close them!”

“I’m sorry,” you giggle, closing them immediately afterwards. “I just want to see you”.

“Let me rinse this off, alright?” he guides you underneath the shower faucet and starts wiping away all the foam, delicately caressing your face while the water rinses off a whole day of stress. “Don’t open them yet, or else it’ll sting”.

It’s practically impossible to ignore his touch and body pressing against yours throughout the whole interaction, and he probably notices this too —your nipples are hard, both from the stimulation and the feeling of warm water running through your body, and you can’t help but whimper every time they rub against his bare chest.

“There,” Seungmin murmurs, encouraging you to open your eyes. The first thing you see is his gaze underneath his dark, wet hair, followed by bright smile.  

You tip toe a bit to reach his pink lips, and you leave a wet peck in the corner of them. A quick, single kiss that makes Seungmin’s bright smile turn into a flirty, soft smirk.

He brushes a few wet strands of hair away from your face, and caresses your skin while tilting his head. You know he wants this, just as much as you want it too, but he probably felt too scared to make the first move, considering the wholesome moment you were sharing.

“Can I?” he’s leaning over you, with both of his hands cupping your cheeks and his lips dangerously close to yours.

“Please,” you nod, closing your eyes even before you felt him kissing you.

It starts of slow, but gets gradually deeper as he holds you tightly against him; the water is still running, but it feels ten times warmer now.

“I don’t want to ruin the moment like this,” you whisper, feeling your heart racing, “but I really want you to fuck me”.

“How could that ruin the moment?” Seungmin chuckles, guiding his hands to your ass.

“I don't know, you're being so sweet to me and all I can imagine is how it would feel to have you deep inside me right now,” you confess, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“You don’t have to imagine it, you know?” his hands guide you to turn around on your feet, and he presses his chest against your back until you’re trapped between him and the wall. You can feel his erection against your ass, and that alone has your pussy clenching around nothing, wishing it was his cock you were clenching around. “If you want, I can fuck you right here”.

You feel him kissing and nibbling at the skin on your shoulders and neck, and you immediately melt between his arms, “I want you”.

You can’t see him but, once he guides his hand to your core and feels your wetness, the soft scoff he lets out tells you he’s probably amused by your neediness. “You’re all ready for me, hm?”

You press your cheek against the cold, wall tiles, and arch your back a bit more —just enough to allow him a better access to your pussy. He places one hand on your hip, while the other guides the tip of his cock to your cunt, teasing your folds and rubbing it against your clit.

“Please fuck me,” you whine, laying both of your palms flat against the white tiles.

“Take a deep breath for me,” he latches his lips to your neck and the next thing you feel is a sudden stretch between your legs. You let out a painful moan, as you’re definitely not used to have him fucking you while standing.

It’s a challenge, really. The second you felt him entering you, your legs threatened to give up on your weight.

“Don’t worry,” Seungmin hisses once he bottoms out, feeling your walls hugging him tightly. He can feel how tense you are, trying hard to hold on to anything to prevent you from falling, “I’ll hold you tight, won’t let go of you, okay?”

You nod, barely frantically, and relax on the spot. You trust him Seungmin wholeheartedly, so you get completely carried away by the feeling of his cock hitting the right spot inside your pussy.

He reaches his hand forward, into the small space between your abdomen and the wall, and guides his fingers towards your clit, rubbing it gently while fucking you.

“J-just like that,” you moan. “I’m- I’m getting close”.

“Yeah?,” Seungmin purrs, managing to keep the pace between his thrusts and his fingers. “Come for me, then”.

You blame it on all the time you spent without being able to fuck with him because of your schedules, but truth is that Seungmin always makes you come really fast. He knows your body well enough by now, and he pleases you like no one has before. And could he not be? If he has spent hours and hours touching you, eating you out and fucking you so he can be the best at pleasing you.

“Seungmin,” you gasp, feeling your legs shaking and your mind dizzy. If you let go, you’re sure your face is going to meet the floor.

But, as if he could read your mind, he wraps his arm around you and holds you right in place, giving you all the support you needed. “Now,” he moans, “you can come”.

You finally let go between his arms, pressing your face against the wall while Seungmin takes care of everything —from helping you ride your high, to keep you standing on your feet.

He holds you while you overcome your orgasm, feeling your heart beats and the way you breath. He is close to coming as well, but you’re always his priority in moments like this.

Always so caring and sweet.  

Jeongin: Physical Touch and Gifts

[19:28, You: I’m here]

[19:28, You: Where are you?]

You stare at the big, white letters on top of the entrance of the store, and you can begin to guess what this urgent meeting is all about. It’s not the first time you visit it, and it is most definitely not going to be the last, you think.

There are a couple of people inside, people who make you feel as if you’re underdressed to go jewelry shopping —not that you had clothes to match the ocassion, but you didn’t expect to end your day standing outside one of Seoul’s most expensive stores.

“Hey!” Jeongin greets you from inside, smiling widely once he spots you. He walks towards you and the brightness in his eyes tells you that he's most definitely excited about something.

“What is it?” you immeditaly asked, catching his smile.

“I stopped by and I wanted to gift you something,” he grabs your hand and guides you inside the store, following a path and turning around every other table until you reach the jewels in exhibition he’s excited about, “I didn’t know which one you liked best, and I tried to take a picture of them but the camera didn’t make them any justice”.

“What’s the occasion?”

“You,” Jeongin tilts his head. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know, and these are the most beautiful necklaces I’ve seen in my entire life. Is only fair for you to have them”.

“I don’t- These are too expensive,” you furrow your eyebrows, not knowing the final price of each and confident you're better off without that information.

“So?”

“I can’t accept one,” you shake your head. Your eyes encounter an emerald and diamond necklace that’s too stunning it caught your attention —Jeongin has good taste, you have to give him that.

But said taste it’s also very expensive, so you’re not sure that works out.

“What about all of them?”

Your eyes widen in shock, and you playfully hit him in the arm, “you’re so unserious!”

“I mean it,” the dark-haired smiles, tilting his head at you. “Either you pick the one you like the most, or I’ll buy all of them for you”.

Jeongin never gifts you things expecting anything in return —if anything, the only thing he expects when he buys you jewelry, or clothes, or anything, is that you put them to use.

You’re still not used to this kind of love language, but he tries everything to make you feel comfortable.

“Are you sure?” you hesitate, and he nods eagerly, wondering which one is the one you like best. “That one, the one with the emerald”.

“Pretty,” he smiles, “just like you”.

He takes care of the bill, and you keep on staring at the rest of the jewelry exhibited around the store. To be honest, you’re curious about the price, but you’d rather stay ignorant than feeling guilty about the money he spends on you.

Then, Jeongin sees you admiring a bracelet for quite some time, and he makes a mental note to go back and buy it for you on the next occasion. He knows love can be expressed in many, many ways, but a gift is never out of place.

“Let’s go back to my place, yeah?” he asks you, grabbing your hand as you walk through the mall. “I can pick up dinner and we can spend the night together, what do you say?”

“Sounds good to me,” you smile, trying to keep up the pace with his long legs.

Once you get home, and you unwind together, Jeongin brings the small, white bag with the red, velvet box inside it. You saw the necklace on your way to his apartment, but you didn’t try it on.

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper, admiring the shine of it from every angle. “I’m not- sure how to style it”.

“Pretty sure you’ll find a way,” Jeongin smiles with his eyes fixed on the jewel. “You make everything look pretty”.

“Thank you,” your gaze meets his, and you can tell how sincere and genuine he is. Your heart skips a bit when you spot that spark in his eyes again, and your curiosity makes you question him once again. “What?”

“Let me put it on you,” he tells you, standing up from the dinner table and walking towards you, taking away the velvet box off of your hands, “come here”.

You follow him into his room, that’s barely illuminated because of the street lights and a small lamp on top of his nightstand. You stand in front of a big, full-length mirror, and he stands right behind you, holding the necklace with one of his hands while he makes eye contact with you through the mirror.

“Wait, just let me-,” he motions for you fix your hair out of the way, and once you’re done he he places the necklace around you. “There”.

The necklace is very, very pretty on you. So pretty that, for a minute, you completely forget about the outfit you’re wearing, and how it doesn’t match Jeongin’s gift at all.

“Thank you,” you chant again, caressing the jewel as you watch it become your most prized possession. “It’s just- beautiful. I don’t want to take it off, ever”.

“Then don’t,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on your naked shoulder. “Wear it all the time, let everyone know who gave it to you”.

You turn around on your feet and wrap your arms around his neck with a cheeky smile. “What for?”

“So everyone can know you’re mine,” his siren eyes are staring deep into yours, and that alone is enough to arouse you. Not only that, but the implied possessiveness under these kind of gifts is making you feel some kind of way.

“Everyone knows I am yours already,” you whisper, leaning in for a kiss. “I don’t need to wear a necklace for that”.

“But it’s fun, isn’t it?” Jeongin asks you, “everytime you feel the necklace around your neck, you can think of those times where my hands have done the job”.

You feel the heat rising up to your cheeks almost immediately, and you wonder if he can tell.

“The necklace is very pretty, but you like my hands way more, don’t you?” again, the filthy question makes you a bit timid, but you still nod.

“See? I don’t need expensive jewels to be happy,” you chuckle softly, planting a quick kiss on his lips. He responds the kiss with one much more steamy, one that actually makes you gasp for air in between.

“So what is it that you need, hm?” he teases you, cupping either side of your face with his big hands.

“You know what,” the complicit smile on your lips is the consent Jeongin needs to guide his hand from your face to your neck, squeezing it slightly as he applies pressure to the sides of it. The harder he chokes you, the wider you smile.

“Is this enough to make you happy?” judged by his cold gaze, and the deeper tone of his voice, you know you have Jeongin exactly where you want him.

“I’m missing something else,” you quietly murmur, just as much as his grip around your neck allows you to. “Can you give it to me?”

“What is it that you’re missing?” he asks you, a twisted smile peeking through the corners of his lips, “tell me, and I’ll give it to you”.

Jeongin knows exactly what you’re talking about, and what you’re referring to, but he menas every word he says. If there’s something you’re missing, he’d travel the whole world just to give it to you. If there’s something you want, all you have to do is ask.

“Your cock,” you finally tell him.

In the blink of an eye, you’re both naked in his bed and he’s hovering over you, positioning himself between your legs while he bites his bottom lip. You’re still wearing the necklace, as a request for him, and it feels somewhat heavy on your chest. It will probably weight heavy from now on, everytime you wear it, because it will remind you of how good of a lover Jeongin is to you.

“It looks so good on you,” he hisses, coating the tip of his cock with your slick. You’re so slippery, and warm, and inviting that he can’t spend another second without being buried deep inside your pussy. “You- look so good like this, with your legs spread for me”.

You moan at his words, wrapping your legs around his waist and forcing him to bottom out inside you, desperately wanting to feel all of himself.

“F-fuck”.

“So tight,” Jeongin whispers, closing his eyes while assimilating the stimulation your body provides.

He starts off slow and only goes rougher once he’s sure you’re ready for it. He wraps his hand around your neck and chokes you while fucking your pussy, admiring the diamond resting on top of your bouncing breasts.

The necklace is even prettier like this, he thinks.

“Right there,” you gasp, closing your eyes shut while your orgasm hits you unexpectedly. You writhe underneath him, digging your nails on his biceps. He fucks you even faster through your orgasm, making you spill a tear or two —not only he is a good lover, but he fucks oh, so well too.

You moan his name over and over again, thanking him in between. The ravages of your high are hitting you, as well as the painful overstimulation, but you don’t want him to stop. You want him to come inside you, to fill you up until he’s leaking out; however Jeongin has other plans in mind.

“Can I- come, on you?”

You’re not sure what he means, as he usually finishes inside you, but you still nod desperately, wanting whatever it is that he wants.

So he thrusts himself inside you a couple of times before pulling out, kneeling over you while stroking his cock and driving himself to his orgasm. You stare at him with dreamy eyes, aroused by the heavenly sight he’s offering you —there’s something enticing about his facial features when he comes, how they sharpen and his eyes get pitch black.

“Fuck,”  he curses under his breath as he comes over your breasts, spilling his hot cum all over them and the necklace.

You didn’t understand his petition until now, that you realize the diamond is covered with his arousal, glistening even brighter under the dim lights of his room.

“You made a mess,” you chuckle, staring at your tits.

“I just wanted to make sure you're going to remember who gave you this”.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #jisung smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut

[milaisreading]

Part 2 of the isagi older sis please🙏🏻

🌱🩷: here u go! Hope u like it and thank u for the request. Yn as Isagi's older sister pt 2

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

It's been a week after the Blue Lock team won their first, official match and Yoichi was finally back home. He felt content with himself for the first time in a while. He was proud of his achievements so far, he was happy he made his parents and sister proud. He was happy he could finally eat his mom's food and sister's special kintsuba she always made for him. The only downside he felt was that some people recognized him on the street and would ask for pictures.

Today, for example, he and (Y/n) were strolling around Shibuya, and every once in a while some guys, girls, and kids would stop them to take pictures with Yoichi.

(Y/n) would laugh and tease him for being so shy.

Right now they were in a local mall, where (Y/n) was looking for some clothes to buy her brother and herself.

"Why didn't you go out with your friends, Yo-chan? Isn't shopping with me boring?" (Y/n) wondered as the boy finished talking about what his team had planned for the day.

"It isn't boring!" Yoichi said quickly as he took a few shirts she picked for him to try.

"I like hanging out with you. Besides, I would have probably done the same thing with them like I am doing with you now."

(Y/n) sighed in relief, then pushed her brother to the changing room.

"Alright then. Hurry up and try them out. We can go and check out the new karaoke bar after."

"Alright!"

Yoichi grinned and went to change, leaving (Y/n) behind. Her smile slowly dropped as she remembered the offer given to her by Anri after the match had ended.

'Hmm.... assisting someone like Ego-san and her would look pretty good on my resume in the future. Blue Lock is the latest buzz not just in Japan, bit internationally too...' (Y/n) frowned and took out her phone to look at the number Teieri had given her.

"Should I accept?" She mumbled to herself.

"Sis, I think I like this one a lot." Yoichi's sudden appearance caused the girl to look up from her phone and at her brother.

"Ooh! It looks amazing, Yo-chan! It goes well with your eyes too!" She grinned, putting her phone away.

'I will think about it later.'

"You think there are any rooms left for us?" Yoichi asked his sister skeptically as they walked through the hallway of the karaoke bar.

"It doesn't hurt to look." (Y/n) pouted as Yoichi laughed a little.

"Blue Lock! Our arch nemesis!" The Isagi siblings stopped in their tracks as they heard the familiar team's name.

"Blue Lock?"

"Isn't that Sendo's voice?" (Y/n) and Yoichi wondered out loud.

"Who?" The girl raised her eyebrow as she followed after her brother.

"He is from the U-20 team." Yoichi saidas they arrived at the where they heard Sendo's voice from.

"Ahh..." (Y/n) nodded her head as she slowly opened the door, the two Isagi siblings left dumbfounded as they peeked inside. In the room, the U-20 team was having a glare-off with Reo, Chigiri, and Bachira.

"Yo-chan, those 3 are your teammates, right?" (Y/n) questioned her brother, who groaned and nodded his head.

"What are you 3 doing?"

The trio, and U-20 team, jumped up and turned to look at them in surprise.

"Isagi?! What are you doing here?" Bachira questioned as he saw the ace.

"Ah~ you brought your sister too!"

"Hi, (Y/n)~" Chigiri and Reo sighed, waving at the girl.

"Not again." Yoichi glared at the two.

"Again-"

"I can't believe how much of a pig you are!" (Y/n) jumped up at she heard a woman yell from the room across from them and pushed Yoichi behind her. The two siblings and the others watched in surprise as two enraged women walked out of the room, all the while yelling at whoever was inside.

"What's going on?" (Y/n) whispered to Yoichi, who was just as dumbfounded.

"Anyways, how are you doing today, (Y/n)?" Bachira suddenly asked, pushing Yoichi away from her side.

"Oh? I am fine. Yoichi, did you hurt-"

"Are you here to sing, too? The two of us can make a cute duo." Chigiri suggested, resting one of his arms on her shoulder.

"Ah, well that sounds-"

"Now, why would you ruin her magnificent voice with your screeching, Chigiri?" Reo teased as he stood in front of her, and earning a death stare from Chigiri.

"Isn't that a little bit rude?" (Y/n) wondered.

"Can you 3 not?!" Yoichi yelled, grabbing his sister's arm and pushing her behind him, an action which earned pouts from the three boys.

'I think my breakfast is about to say hello.' (Y/n) thought, trying to ignore the confused looks from the Japan team.

"What's with all the yelling in here?"

"Shut up, Oliver. Did you cause that ruckus with those women?" A white haired boy asked the captain as he walked inside.

(Y/n)'s eyes widened as she heard the familiar voice and name, and looked at the entrance to the room.

"You know me, Hayate. I can't settle down for one- (Y/n), what are you doing here?" Oliver asked in shock, face paling.

"I... I came here with my brother...' The girl said, pointing at Yoichi. The said boy and his friends stopped arguing, and looked at the older girl, and then at the captain of their rival team.

"You two... know each other?" Bachira raised an eyebrow.

"Are you two friends?" Reo added in as Chigiri and Yoichi grew unnerved.

"Friends is too humbling, rich boy." Oliver laughed, earning a glare from (Y/n).

"What does he mean?" Chigiri raised an eyebrow.

"We... we kind of dated for 6 months or so." (Y/n) finally spoke up with a red face.

"What?! And you never told me?! Sis, I thought we don't keep secrets from each other!" Yoichi yelled in disbelief, now trying to hide his sister from Oliver's gaze.

"Why this old fart?" Bachira asked the girl, sounding betrayed.

"Well-"

"Regardless, at least you came to your senses and left him." Chigiri smiled in satisfaction, earning a glare from Oliver.

"Are you not going to defend me?" Oliver asked the girl in disbelief.

"What am I supposed to say?!" (Y/n) spoke up.

"Hello?!" Oliver waved his arms around as Hayate, Sendo, and Niou were laughing at his misfortune.

Soon after the whole chaos had started, the rest of Blue Lock arrived at the room too. The boys were either amused at the ruckus, or they went to talk with (Y/n) as they saw her being shielded by her brother, Chigiri and Bachira.

'What a day...' She sighed, trying to pull her brother away from an argument he was having with Oliver.

"Mikage-san, please calm down too." She asked the boy.

"Sure will!" The purple-haired boy said with no hesitation as he looked away from Oliver.

"Also, Reo is just fine with me."

"Anyways, I suggest we find a new place to hang out at." Niou suddenly spoke up, earning nods from everyone.

"Great idea, Niou. Let's go, (Y/n). The two of us can-"

"No!" The Blue Lock team interrupted Oliver.

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #isagi yoichi #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #reo mikage #chigiri hyoma #bachira meguru #blue lock 11 #blue lock vs u 20 #oliver aiku #sister reader #post-u20 #blue lock requests

[euphoricimagination]

Summary: After the match against the U-20 you are given 2 weeks of freedom, with your decision taken, you use this time to tell the truth to as many as you can and spend time with the people you grew to love

Part 11 - Part 12 [Final] -> Masterlist

"So this is where you live, quite big for living alone" you say walking around Nagi's place, you could see the last drops of light from the sunset entering through the windows,

After the match you were given 2 weeks off where you could finally go outside. You were planning to go back to Hyogo, but the guys had planned to do a reunion outside of the project to finally see each other in another ambience. You weren't planning on going, since Hyogo was far away from Tokyo and you didn't want to spend half a day just getting there, but Nagi told you you could stay with him for a day or two.

Now, your relationship with Nagi has been quite different since that kiss. He hasn't asked you out, therefore you weren't technically together, but he's definitely much clingier with you; you didn't mind this, though, it was too soon to actually date each other.

"Yeah, my parents chose it" he says, passing his arms through your shoulders "it's nice, and it's close to a lot of things"

"I noticed, i think i saw an arcade coming here"

"Yeah, there's many actually" he says, kissing your shoulder before moving to his bed, starting a game on his phone. You took some of your clothes out, putting them on top of a dresser he had, you feel uneasiness in your stomach for tomorrow's reactions

"Are you telling them tomorrow?" Nagi asks, you didn't know if he noticed your discomfort or if he knew you that good already

"Yeah, I'm telling them everything. They deserve to know"

"I don't get why though, why does it matter so much?"

"Not everyone is so unbothered like you are Sei" you chuckle, sitting on the bed

"But the princess didn't care either, so why are you so nervous?" He asks once again "agh, i died"

"Chigiri…he's different, it's nerve-wracking telling everyone that what they thought was a lie" you say, your feet tapping the floor nervously. Suddenly Nagi's hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to the window in where the stars were starting to appear

"It'll be fine, don't worry too much about it" he pets your head "By the way, that's Choki, he helps me wake up"

"Don't tell me you purposely touch it to wake up" you chuckle

"I won't tell you then" you both stay like this for a few minutes, you watching the view while Nagi lazily lays his head on your shoulder "...are you sure about leaving Blue Lock?"

"Yeah, i already thought about it, it's the best for me and everyone"

"Then I'll allow it" he presses his head closer in your neck

"I don't need your permission" you chuckle "I'm gonna go to arrange the couch"

"The couch? Why?"

"Where else am I going to sleep?"

"You're not sleeping in the couch" you feel him frown, pulling you down into the bed with him as he puts himself on top of you, laying his head on your chest "you're comfy"

"Thanks" you chuckle, playing with his hair "we should order some food, it's pretty late already"

"What a paiin" he whines, getting his phone anyway.

++

You woke up pretty late, around 10 am, with a pair of arms tightly holding in place and warmth feeling warmth breath in the back of your neck. After eating dinner yesterday Nagi decided to cuddle with you while he plays on one of his consoles, you sitting in between his legs as his hands were right in front of both of you; and once you both got tired, he simply laid you down on your side and proceeded to fall asleep.

"Oi, giant baby" you poke his side, making him groan "you're phone just rang"

"What a pain. Who is it?"

"Isagi, we have to meet them, remember?"

"...Right, ugh, don't wanna" he says, answering his messages before stretching out

You get up from the bed and go to the bathroom to get ready, it was late already, so you went to get ready first assuming Nagi will take forever to do something. Once you leave the bathroom Nagi was already sitting, waiting to use it

"You look pretty" he says to you "it's weird seeing you with a skirt, thought"

"This is the first time you see me with outside clothes, of course it's gonna be weird"

"Well yeah, but i like it either way" he kisses your head while going to the bathroom and getting ready. Once done, him wearing an oversized white hoodie and sweatpants, you both go out "hey, let's go that arcade"

"But we have to meet the guys.."

"They can wait, let's go" he takes your hand, dragging you towards the arcade

You decided to give in, after all it was a vacation, you could enjoy things freely for now. At some point you started playing different games, you were stuck in a claw machine while he was playing Street Fighter since he wanted his online record to go up again. After you got another figurine from one of the machines, you heard a big commotion coming from where Nagi was, noticing a bunch of Blue Lock members.

You started to feel nervous, but at this point there was nothing you could do, so you started walking towards them.

"Hey Sei, i got the figurines" you say, instantly getting intimidated by the fact all eyes went to you, looking at you up and down. Chigiri eyes looked at you amused, crossing his arms as he winks at you

"Oya? Did we interrupt a date, Nagi-chin?" Karasu asks with a cheeky grin. Reo was looking at you confused, almost as if he could recognize you

"How did you score such a hottie? You, out of all people" Otoya adds "hi there cutie"

"But didn't you know we had a reunion? Why did you plan it for today?" Asks Yukimiya

"Maybe she's a classmate?" Asks Bachira

"Nah, I've never seen her at our school" adds Reo

"Eh?" Confused faces appear

"Ok, why don't we let her introduce herself so we can know?" Chigiri says, giving you an encouraging look

"Well first…" you go to sit next to Nagi, your heart beating fast "hi again guys"

"I'm Yn…i was your teammate" you say, even more confusion arises

"Yn…Yn-kun? Is that you?" Isagi asks, making you nod "you were a girl all this time?"

"Yep"

"There's no way…how were you able to play in the match against the U-20 while being a girl?" Otoya asks, Chigiri raising his eyebrow annoyed at the comment

"Well, she's just amazing, isn't she?" Chigiri comes closer to ruffle your hair, you trying to stop him

"So you knew, Chigiri? And you Nagi?"

"Yeah" simply shrugs Nagi, as he keeps playing

"Nagi untied my binder and almost saw my chest, then i told Chigiri cause i felt bad about lying to him" you explain, some heads nodding "Ego ask me to join to help Team Z bloom and give him information, i was only supposed to be until the first round, but i proved to be too good to just…leave the project…sorry for lying to y'all"

"It's alright, it doesn't change much to me, especially if Ego knew" Yukimiya says, smiling to you as he extends his hand "it's nice finally meeting you Yn-chan, you're very pretty"

"Thanks" you shake his hand, smiling at him

"Well, that explains why Nagi suddenly started to act like this with you, nice meeting you Yn-chan, take good care of that idiot for me" Reo says nudging your shoulder with a grin, making you roll your eyes

"It doesn't change much for me either! I like you because of you, not your gender!" Bachira passes his arm through your shoulder, hugging you tightly

"Me too, plus you're a good player" Isagi adds, smiling at you like everyone else "but…why are you telling us now? You could have continued like it was, couldn't you?"

"Well, yeah…but I already reached a conclusion. I'm leaving Blue Lock" you confessed, some eyes widen

"What!? Why? You're soo good to just leave!" Retorts Isagi

"Well, I can't tell you exactly what's coming for the project, but it's supposed to help you out for your futures in a more direct way, and I can't have that. I can't be on a professional team because I'm a girl, and I can't play professionally on a woman's team because I'm too used to playing with dudes, so I'm gonna leave the project"

"Well, it makes sense, now that we won against the U-20 there's probably gonna be a lot more professional teams looking at us, you won't be able to hide this type of things to them" adds Karasu, making you nod

"Anyways! Let's enjoy this free day even more then! Since we won't have Yn-chan with us after this" Bachira stands up, grabbing your hand while taking you with him to the claw machines you previously were in

You end up with a lot of prices given to you after some of the guys won in them; then you move to the darts, where Nagi was forced to "accept his punishment" by being in the front of the darts board while you were losing in a battle with Yukimiya; then you move to pool, where Aryu showed his stylish moves; and then to ping pong, where you took turns to play into teams.

"How about karaoke?" Reo asks, his arms on your shoulders as you guys walk

"Let's go"

"We can hear you sing, darling, that'll be interesting" Reo adds, petting your hair

"Shut it, elite, who says I'm singing" you hit his stomach, making him laugh. In that moment you all noticed some girls coming out of a room angry, Aiku being the reason. You didn't know if you wanted to tell him who you were or not, so you stayed quiet while they exchange some words

"Oh? Who's this girl? Of course you would have a girl already, Mikage-kun, but bringing her with you while hanging out with the boys?" Aiku tells him, you exchange a look with Reo, shaking your head slightly

"She's a friend of mine, she happened to be here today too, so she joined us" he says skillfully, understanding your signs as he takes his arm off

"I see…well then, may I know your name, pretty girl?" Aiku says to you, making you scrunch your face. It wasn't that he was ugly, he sure wasn't, but it still made you awkward

"Yn, nice to meet you" you say shortly

"Pretty name for a pretty lady, want to join me?" Aiku winks at you at the same time you feel a pair of hands sneaking on your waist, pulling you back until your back touched a chest and a chin rest on your head

"We fighting?" Nagi says, beside you were also Yukimiya, Karasu, Otoya and Aryu, all saying some type of comments while the door of the U-20 team opens and reveals the whole team there.

"You okay, pretty?" Nagi whispers at you

"Yeah, just didn't know how to react" you say, taking his hand

They decided to bet dinner with a bowling match, in which you find Barou playing by himself, who ends up joining the match since you weren't playing; after all you decided to not tell them about it. You were waiting for Chigiri to play when Barou sits next to you, looking at you inquisitive

"Oi, you are Yn-kun, aren't you?" He asks you

"Eh?"

"Don't play dumb, you are at Blue Lock with us, only a fool wouldn't be able to tell, even though you have make up on today" he says

"Yeah, that's me" you say, high fiving Chigiri when he does a strike

"So, do you swing to the other side or…"

"I'm a girl, but I'm also leaving Blue Lock now" he nods at the information

"You were good, you scrub, well played" he adds, ending the conversation right there

Nagi does a strike after falling down, which ends up with all of you calling the game off since it was getting late. All of the guys say their goodbyes to you, Bachira and Chigiri hugging the longest, leaving you with only Nagi and Reo left

"So, I'm assuming you're staying the night with Nagi again? It's too late for you to leave to Hyogo now" Reo asks

"Yeah, I don't know if leave in two or three days"

"You can stay with me as long as you want, just saying" Nagi adds, petting your hair

"Yeah, you should stay until our vacation is over, since we won't see you in Blue Lock after this we can enjoy time together and you get to enjoy Tokyo more!" Reo says excitedly

"I still haven't got paid by Ego, so i don't have much money" you answer, you were going to get paid for your work after the two weeks were over

"Don't worry about it, I'll cover you" Reo winks at you "besides, if you need money for anything let me know and I'll give it to you"

"What are you? A sugar daddy or something? Do rich people have the need to spend money?" You raise an eyebrow

"Nah, i just don't mind spoiling my treasure's girl, i can afford it after all" he adds

"I mean…if you insist, I'm not denying that offer" you shrugged, making him laugh

"Alright, let's hang out again, bye!" Reo says when you arrived to Nagi's place, his attendant waiting for him in a limousine in front of his place

"Bye"

"See ya!" Both you and Nagi say, entering his place

You took all your makeup off and put on comfortable clothes, which means you were wearing one of Nagi's hoodies since they basically reach your knee. You got out of the bathroom only to find Nagi laying down on his stomach while playing a game, so you go and lay on top of him to watch him

"...you really can stay here as long as you want, by the way" he interrupts the comfortable silence you were in

"I know, but i do also need to go back to Hyogo soon, i have to go back to classes" you say, your head laying on his back

"Classes are such a pain" he whines "can't you just transfer here? I'll ask Reo to help you out"

"Isn't your school one of the best in the country? I doubt that nepotism can just help me enter"

"You'd be surprised" he says

"Even if i transfer I'll have to wait until next year, besides, we don't know where you'll be next year, maybe Blue Lock gets you an offer in an international club and you'll have to transfer there"

"True, that'd be cool" he pauses, moving both of you with ease until you are laying down in the bed with his head on your chest "then I'll tell them to include you too"

"Eh? Why?" You ask

"I like having you around, i like you" he simply states, as if it was the most normal thing to say, as if it was such a simple thing, as if it didn't make your heart flutter "and you like being around me too, so it's a win win"

"Who says I like being around you that much?" You ask

"Your heart beats and your blushed face speak for themselves" he looks at you, slight smirking on

"Shut up" you hit his head

You spent the rest of these two weeks like this, sometimes you hung out with Reo in his penthouse, sometimes you went to the arcade with Nagi, you even got to meet Chigiri's family and stayed with them for a few days after explaining the whole situation. Now two weeks later, you arrived at the place where they were picking the guys up with Nagi and Reo, since apparently a huge crowd of paparazzi were waiting at the entrance of the project.

"This kinda bring back memories" you say

"It does, we didn't even knew each other back then, who knew we would be friends now" Reo says, ruffling your hair "by the way, i already told Baya-san to pick you up later so she can take you to your house"

"You shouldn't have, it's like 5 hours driving" you say

"She insisted too"

"I don't bel-"

"Ynnnn-chaaan!" A scream interrupts you, soon a pair of arms wrap around you and shake you around "you came to say goodbye to us!"

"I did, I can't just let you forget about me, Bachira"

"I will never!" He hugs you tighter

"You're going to kill her if you keep squishing her" Chigiri takes you out of the embrace, pulling you into a side hug himself "you know, I'm sure you can still come with us, just change into a uniform and hope on"

"I can't, i already know what's waiting for you and it's not gonna be beneficial for anyone" you say, knowing well what the phase two of the project was

"But you want to" Chigiri grabs your shoulder, he was able to tell how wet your eyes were, how your hands were shaking slightly, he knew that you still wanted to be with them

"I do…we can't have it all, can we?" You say, making him hug you harder "don't forget about me when you become a famous pro player, you better maintain me once you have money"

"You already have people ready to maintain you, but if it doesn't work out with him or his best friend, I'll think about it" he jokes back, kissing your temple affectionately "see you after I'll become the best in the world, little one"

"See ya" you chuckle, saying some quick goodbyes to some of the ones that enter the bus when a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a pair of arms that were already used to do this

"I'll see you after this, okay?" Nagi says, pulling you closer

"Of course, I'll make sure to watch you, so keep doing your best"

"Watch me? How?"

"You'll find out soon, just do your best and play amazingly like you always do" you say turning around, fluffing his hair

"I will. See you" he bends down, giving you a quick kiss in the lips

"See you"

You watch him enter the bus as it closes the door right behind him, being the last member to enter. Some of them scream their goodbyes to you while the bus leaves, so you wave back at them until you are sure they can't see you clearly, finally letting the tears roll down your face. You wanted to go with them, you wanted to keep playing with them, you wanted to be on the project, but since Blue Lock was turning into a reality TV for scouting, not only you wouldn't be able to keep up the secret but you also won't be able to join any team, it would do nothing more than waste your time. At least that's what you told yourself to feel better about this.

"Hello" Anri appears beside you, looking at you carefully "Ego-san told me to give you this"

She gives you a package, inside was the same uniform the guys were given before leaving, the same custom size you had for the first phase

"He thought you'd miss them, and since you're technically still part of Blue Lock until a few more minutes, we managed to get you one too. It won't make you less sad, but it's the best we can do to help you"

"Thanks" you hug it, smiling through the tears to Anri, who gives you a hug before walking away.

You'll miss them, of course you'll miss those idiots, but you'll see them again once they're on the top, you know you will.

-The end-

Taglist: @suyaaachin - @anurst - @celestair - @futuristicxie - @miyanaranagikenmal-intp - @kaldurahms-lover

#blue lock headcanons #blue lock scenarios #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock #blue lock x female reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #nagi scenarios #bllk nagi #nagi x reader #nagi headcanons #nagi x you #nagi x y/n #nagi fluff #bllk scenarios #bllk x you #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #reo x you #reo fluff #reo x y/n #reo x reader #chigiri x y/n #chigiri x you #chigiri x reader #chigiri fluff #isagi x you #isagi fluff #isagi x reader

[thelordofgifs]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @sallysavestheday and @grey-gazania! I was eyeing this one and hoping for a tag, some great questions here.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 51, although one's a podfic.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 250,683. More than half of which is from last year alone!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently exclusively the Silmarillion, with the occasional little LoTR ficlet.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? the fairest stars, Inflection, an ancient song, all those that follow, Ilimbë. I'm always surprised by an ancient song's popularity – it was a pretty low-effort ficlet – but a solid list nonetheless!

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always! (Glances nervously at the pile I've accumulated in the last couple of weeks of travelling). I love replying to comments, though. It's so nice to be able to engage with all my lovely thoughtful readers and their excellent thoughts!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ever an anguish that pursued is pretty bleak. before the black gale is also a tragedy of sorts, though I'm not sure that makes it qualify as angsty as such.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ilimbë ends quite joyfully, although while writing the final scene I did have the shadow of their unhappy future in mind! I think the cleaving's ending is also quite happy, or at the very least cathartic.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, thankfully! All my readers have been very kind and appreciative <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Three fics so far! All of which were gifts for friends, and made me push my boundaries a little. I'm proud of all of them, though! Smut is less scary than I used to think :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, never! If I did, it would probably be more of a retelling/AU than straight-up having characters from different fandoms meet.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No – I fear I am rather too much of a control freak for this, and would rather not inflict myself and my pedantry on an unsuspecting co-writer.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Russingon... it's the forbidden romance and the doomed nature of it all and the fact that love wasn't enough to save them :( also the murders, of course.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? boats against the current, the "Maedhros doesn't swear the Oath" AU I blithely started back in 2022, is simply not going anywhere at any sort of speed. Perhaps this is the year! Let's see.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterisation! I'm good at emotional beats, I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description... I tend to write VERY minimally and then have to go back on edits and add in some descriptive language so that the entire story isn't just two talking heads in an empty room. Always very pleased when people compliment my descriptions for that reason – they take conscious effort!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Fine if it's footnoted, I think. I tend to avoid it on the basis that all the dialogue I write has been "translated" from one of Tolkien's languages anyway; and I don't know any real languages well enough to write fic in them.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter, although I've soured on the fandom now for obvious reasons :/ For a while I used to think that I could still enjoy the books I loved so much growing up while separating them from the author, but she's so continually hateful and bigoted that I just... can't gain any enjoyment from the franchise anymore. Which is painful, but I'm glad I have the silm fandom to absorb all my creative energy now!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? the fairest stars! My weird gremlin baby, I love it so. I never expected to care about this fic as much as I did, but I've poured so much thought and heart into it that it was perhaps inevitable. And it's taught me so much about writing cliffhangers :)

No-pressure tags for @eilinelsghost, @searchingforserendipity25, @welcomingdisaster, @that-angry-noldo, @swanmaids, @echo-bleu, @jouissants, @tanoraqui and anyone else who, like me, was eyeing this one hoping to be tagged – @ me and say I tagged you!

#tag game #my writing

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

I cannot sleep so instead I am trying to work out exactly what Rolan, Cal and Lia have been doing all their lives and this is what I’ve come up with (thoughts welcome).

Ages

I’d guess Rolan is in his mid-to-late twenties (27?) and Lia and Cal in their early twenties (maybe 21-22 and 20 respectively?). I feel like there has to be a decent (like 5+) year age difference to explain why he’s so protective of them. Cal seems like the baby of the family.

Family History

So we know Rolan is adopted, but when? I’m definitely not the only one who’s had the abandoned-at-birth thought, given that tieflings rejected by human parents seems to be common in Faerûn. I’d guess he was at least old enough when he was adopted to understand that he was unwanted once, and that explains why even in such an apparently happy family he’s still unsure of his place. He might even have been adopted as a young teenager? He has to have had time to bond like siblings with Cal and Lia. We know that he conjured a cat for Cal when the latter was 8, so that would put him at like 15 max at adoption. But I personally think he was adopted earlier than that, aged 8-12ish maybe.

Not clear on a father figure in the game, but there are lines remembering their mum’s funeral. So it seems there was a good relationship there. From Rolan’s inherent protectiveness and assumption of responsibility, I’d guess that when she died, leaving him to take care of Cal and Lia, he was in his late teens and they were 10-12.

Economic/Social Status

Ok I know this section is titled a trifle ridiculously but bear with me. This is an academic exercise ;)

Although they were more welcome in Elturel before the descent, anti-tiefling racism seems pretty entrenched on the Sword Coast. It runs rampant in the grove, and in the wider lore of tieflings in DnD. And I doubt it sprung fully-formed during the Descent, without prior feelings to inflame. However, I think that although they probably had to negotiate a precarious social status and discrimination, the siblings don’t seem to have been living in severe poverty.

It’s clear that Sword Coast society has very high inequality, with a lot of people extremely poor and at the mercy of the patriars/aristocracy. But there also seems to be a thriving middle class and maybe they were part of it? Rolan certainly complains a lot about the Grove conditions, but then he also clearly wants to emulate his idea of what being a wizard is, and being a picky snob is part of that (sorry, my love). So I don’t think that’s a great indicator of the living standards he’s experienced so far.

He’s also clearly worked extremely hard, and has some money to spare (since he gives you it as a reward), but not a whole lot of possessions (probably they had to leave most stuff behind).

I end up at him maybe taking over a small family business (perhaps reselling books?) when their mum died, and working incredibly hard at that to save money for his future studies, to provide for Cal and Lia, and to save in case of the future that many tieflings dread (and indeed came to pass): no longer being welcome in their own homes.

Meanwhile, Lia and Cal were maybe studying themselves, and helping in the business. Did they know anything about fighting before the descent? I’m not sure. But now they seem fairly competent compared to your average civilian (although not really highly trained).

~anyway this is enough brainrot for now.~

#rolan #bg3 rolan #baldur's gate 3 #headcanon #cal bg3 #lia bg3

[anghraine]

On a less cheerful note, I was thinking with some frustration that I've reached 2024 and somehow I'm still not okay, even though there are so many good things about my life and so many people in it to help me, why am I like this-

And then I was remembering a conversation I had earlier with another early modernist about how her conservative Southern Baptist upbringing led her to feminism and academia, and how I didn't say "I get it" because I didn't want to make it about my Mormon-raised-with-some-Catholic-influence personal issues when I've had basically nothing to do with Southern Baptist anything.

And then I was thinking about discovering lesbians were a real thing via visiting a church bookstore at around... age 12 and seeing pamphlets for conversion therapy. I don't remember clearly what they said, just that they were from Evergreen whatsit and I was scared for years after.

And gradually, I figured out the weird way that people talked about my bio dad's sister was because she's also a lesbian, but her conservative Catholic family found it easier to pretend not to know. This led to a weird conversation a few years ago with my grandmother (bio dad's mother) where she was asking why I never have any men in my life. I mumbled something about just not really being interested, and she was like ... oh, you're like your aunt :)

me: Um—well—yes.

my grandmother: Just so devoted to your career :) There was this wonderful man I thought she really loved, but she just didn't have space in her life for marriage.

me: *blink*

And I was also thinking about, basically, a million other things from growing up in rural US towns when I did. At the time, much of it felt too individually small to justifiably get worked up about, but much of it still rattles around my mind. Some things were bigger than I even realized, in fairness—say, the Evergreen pamphlets represented something much bigger and worse than I really comprehended at that age. I was pretty much on my way out by the time I fully got it (and Evergreen is more or less gone now, I think—while I'm still here and still queer, hah). Some of the gender shit + homophobia of that time seems almost comically trivial in this era of senators ranting about the corrupting filth of LGBT+ people, or alternately it's so dated that even said senators wouldn't bother.

Anyway, it's kind of wild how I just ... don't think about a lot of this a lot of the time, and actively wonder how certain things got so fucked up in my head even though my life has been easy in many ways. And then I'll have this early modern British lit/feminism conversation and not think about it much at the time (we ended up having a perfectly nice conversation about the Pacific Northwest and the deficiencies of Shakespeare scholarship) and have a mostly good day and then somehow end up staring blankly at the wall at quarter to midnight thinking about how scared I was as a teenager.

I do not like being angry tbh. I'm irritable, sure, but rarely actually angry because I find it so unpleasant, even in the fairly slow and cold way that I generally get angry.

But I've been trying to organize my thoughts and I think I might be angry about this. I was more familiar with "gay" as a slur than as a descriptor into my 20s because, see, the church preferred to talk about people struggling with same-sex or same-gender attraction as part of these earthly trials, not gay people. Describing people as gay might be too validating or something, at least then.

And part of the reason this stuff can be so difficult to navigate in the present is that very "at least then." Because things could get far better than has ever actually happened, and it wouldn't make anything better for who I was at 15. I'm the one carrying that around. Not uniquely, since tons of us came out of that environment and others of similar kinds, but—

Okay, ethically, I believe that people always have the choice to simply do better than they did in the past and this should be encouraged. But that doesn't un-do anything for me.

It's fine and good to say, look, certain things are much better than they were in 2000 (or whenever). And that's true, some things are, and I'm not at all sorry about that. But sometimes it seems like those of us who are still around are supposed to just forget the things that shaped us when we were reaching adulthood, like it doesn't matter any more because that was another time and we're in our 30s or older. Like we shouldn't still be affected by our own pasts, even when the main actors are still around and completely unrepentant, or were hateful until the day they died.

I am angry about it, in my way, I suppose.

#me: i really shouldn't be this screwed up. nothing that bad has ever happened to me #[five hours later] #me: why am i thinking about conversion therapy pamphlets c. 2000 again #anghraine babbles #cw religion #cw homophobia #rare breed of attack unicorn #anghraine rants #long post

[angelicsaiko]

Movie Night ♥︎

Happy Chaos, and the reader decides to have a movie night, though it doesn't go as expected.

A/N: It's like 2 am rn but like, yes. Anyways I had fun writing this. I hope you guys like it!

TW: Oral (male receiving), Hair Pulling, lmk if I missed anything else!

It's been rather lonely for you lately, so you decided why not just have a movie night with a friend, and what other friend would you pick than the man obsessed with drama, Happy Chaos? You and him were good friends for a good year or so now. You two would constantly goof of and make jokes at each other or even just have debates on philosophy and history. Even though he was a huge smart-ass who was practically the king of sass, you always found him charming in a weird sense. He was definitely a weirdo, but he was fun to hang out with. He wasn't someone who would get upset easily, and he had a good sense of humor, too. Sure, he was crazy, but you LOVED his crazy. Maybe a little too much. You would never fully admit it to yourself, but you had formed a crush on the blue man but always told yourself that he wanted nothing like that to do with you, but you couldn't help yourself but get excited for occasions like this where you two could spend time together. Just the two of you.

It took only 20 minutes before you heard your doorbell ring, which had you immediately running to the door. You had enough time to clean your apartment, but you didn't have enough time to change your clothes, so you were standing at the door wearing only an oversized T-shirt and striped panties underneath. You immediately smiled, however, and tried to brush that fact off when you saw Chaos standing right in front of you.

"Come on in! Sorry I didn't have enough time to change into regular clothes, though if you don't mind waiting for a bit then I can go change now, ehe.."

Now Chaos was the one that was smiling, shaking his head as his dark brown eyes gazed down at you. "Oh, it's fine, you know I don't like sitting around doing nothing, you know." He scratched his neck and shoulder a bit, waiting for you to move a little so he could get into the apartment. He wore a simple band T-shirt with some goofy graphic on it along with his usual black leather pants accompanied by his orange X-shaped shaded glasses and a black jacket with the insides yellow. His hair is a mess as usual, though it looks like he at least tried to keep it down and not all over the place, though there are still some visible lone strands that wrapped around his twin horns that poked out and curled upwards on the edges of his forehead. His halo was a black circle that hovered over his head, which had spikes coming from four directions. You always wondered what exactly he was, but you were too shy to ask him, plus you don't even think he even knew what he was. With the way his eyes looked into yours, it made you feel a bit light on the ground, but you stopped yourself from thinking like that. This is a movie night. Don't make it weird, Y/N!!

You finally snapped yourself out of your thoughts and moved out of the doorway and into the living room. You plopped down onto the couch and  turned on the TV using simple magic currents from a tiny little remote. Chaos wasn't that far off behind you, promptly sitting down beside you with his legs spread, having no manners whatsoever as usual. You held back a giggle at that as you tried to focus on the TV.

"Anything you feel like watching? I have some horror movies, or maybe we could watch a comedy movie. Though most of them are pretty damn old." You let off a soft giggle as you said that before turning to the man right beside you. He was apparently staring at you but immediately refocused when he heard your voice, then looking at the TV as he seemed to be thinking. You sighed as you stood up before turning back to him.

"Well, while you think on that, I'm gonna make us some popcorn alright? Don't mess with anything while I'm gone, I know you, mister." You spoke sternly at him with a playful smile. That seemed to get his attention as he simply scoffed and shook his head, saying a drawn out "Fiiiine." with a big grin on his face. That grin faded when you turned away from him and walked off to the kitchen. While you were walking away, your T-shirt was hanging above your back, so the back of your panties was completely visible to him. He tried to look away, but the sight of your panties, the outline of your waist, your plushy thighs, every little detail would not leave his mind now. It started to drive him crazy in more ways than one, feeling himself get aroused by the sight, but he did everything he could to ignore it and just focus on picking a movie. He ended up picking an old horror movie that he remembered watching once. Since he remembered it being decent, he decided to choose that one. The thought of you would not leave his mind and it didn't help when you came back with your shirt slightly lifted up thanks to your arms being up to hold the big bowl full of popcorn, exposing the front of your panties. He immediately looked towards the wall, pretending he's just taking his glasses off to set down on the side table, when really he was trying to hide his flushed face.

Chaos is not used to these thoughts, and neither is he used to this attachment he has to you. His heart is racing slightly every time you are around, and it overwhelms him every time he is alone after spending time with you. He even went as far as to avoid you for awhile to keep his mind straight, he already had enough racing through his mind, he didn't want to feel creepy for having some random obsession over and ordinary girl, but he missed talking to you so he decided to accept your invite, thinking he would be fine. He was already being proven wrong, biting his fist as he tried to distract himself. Once you sat back down beside him, he was brought back to reality. Chaos had to cross his legs to hide what was growing in his pants. Maybe if he didn't wear leather pants, then it would be easier to hide. This caught your attention, though, as you have never seen him do that all of the times you two have spent time together. You then noticed that his face was turning a slight red tone, but since he didn't say anything about it, then you decided to say nothing about it. He was your friend, after all. You aren't going to catch him lacking unless you two are playing a video game.

You turned the movie one and leaned back into the couch, watching the movie with him. Chaos tried to focus, but he kept peaking at you and noticing how nicely your thighs pressed together, or how your stomach looked like all folded together, showing off the chub you had in your belly. Chaos bit his lip for a second before catching himself and looking back at the TV. Usually, he wouldn't care this much about how others thought. He would be brutally honest about it, but you were different. You were the only one who made him feel this way, the only one that made him lose his mind even more than it already was. He rested his hand on his thigh, lightly clawing at it to keep himself in reality and just watch the movie. That was until a sex scene started. Chaos was staring at the screen wide eyed, peaking at you a little to see if you would skip forward, but you seemed too relaxed to wanna lean over, he gulped and tried to hold back a whimper. He was harder than ever right now, and you were starting to notice, too.

You had peaked at him a couple times, and immediately noticed the growing bulge that was caged behind his pants that he so desperately was trying to hide, you have a good idea of what got him riled up, but you wanted to tease him a little. It looked so tempting, but you waited patiently. First though, you decided to lean onto him, resting your head on his shoulder, and your right hand rested onto his lap above his hand. You could feel him tense up and twitch a bit, which made you chuckle a bit to yourself before averting your eyes at the screen. Your living room was full of the sound of lewd moans along with the sight of the girl pinned down onto the bed, getting railed by some big buff guy as they both panted in unison. While Chaos was trying to stay together, you snuck your other hand down to stroke the buldge in his pants, rubbing it up and down slowly as you watched his face. You don't know what's gotten into you, but you will happily thank any god up there for allowing you to tease this man. God, was it worth it, seeing his blue skin be flushed red on his face as he let out soft pants and whines, biting his lip as he rolled his head back, causing you to grin and bite your own lip at the sight of him falling apart from your hands.

"What's gotten into you, hm? You've never been like this before.~" You teased, gazing up at him, ignoring the movie that was playing behind you. All that mattered right now was that flustered face and those dark brown eyes that managed to get darker as they gazed back at you. He cursed under his breath as he felt you move your hands to the zipper of his pants before looking back up at him.

"Mind if I help?~"

It took everything in his willpower not to just grab you and pin you to the couch. Instead, all he did was nod and whine out a "Go for it.." which you happily obliged to. Slowly unzipping his pants and bringing them down to his ankles. You slid down his boxers as well, allowing something to spring out from underneath and finally out of its cage. You were now face to face with his member, and immediately, you finally snapped out of your gazed thoughts and back into reality as you saw it. Would you even be able to take all of it? It was blue just like his skin, but it was tall and thick, some veins sticking out as it twitched and throbbed from the feeling of your breath on it. You sighed and leaned down, softly kissing the tip of the head before swirling your tongue around it. Just that was enough to make Chaos jolt and moan, letting out a couple of grunts as well. You grinned and started to lick up all around his cock, keeping eye contact with him as you slowly slipped the head into your mouth, before sliding more into your warm and wet mouth. He moaned, looked down at you, returning the eye contact as his free hand rested onto the top of your head before grabbing a handful of your hair.

It was without question. Chaos was losing his mind, but it felt amazing, and he didn't want it to stop. You started to bob your head back and forth onto his length, going at a slow pace as you were still trying to take his size, even though it's not even all the way in yet. At this point, you both forgot about the movie. You finally started to take more of his length into your mouth, trying your best to take all of it, but once you got closer to the end, your gag reflex would start. This caused Chaos to smirk, looking down at you as his hand that was in your hair tightened it's hold, his other hand that was on his lap the grabbed another chunk of your hair, before pulling your hair to take all of his cock. He immediately moaned and panted, doing this repeatedly as you choked on his thick length. He was basically fucking your face without much care of what your neighbors would hear, using your face for his own pleasure. That's what you get for teasing him.

"How does that feel, huh?" He said between pants and grunts, looking back down at you as he tried to focus his eyesight. "Don't worry - fuCK! I'm close..~"

Chaos moved a bit to get a good angle, before pounding into your throat, panting like a needy dog as he did so. His cock was throbbing and twitching in your throat, the salty taste of his pre-cum staining the walls of your mouth and throat as you drooled all over him. Your face being a complete mess because of him. It didn't take him much longer until you felt his cock twitch in your mouth, before shooting his thick white ropes right into your mouth and down your throat. He pulled his member out of your mouth, shooting more of his semen directly onto your face. He panted, before grinning at the sight of your face covered in his cum, softly patting your head as you both took some time to recover.

"We should watch movies together more often.." He said before chuckling. You on the other hand was lapping up his cum off your face with your fingers, before licking it all up with ease. He just watched with his face turning red once again, before you noticed that he was still hard. He simply grinned at you and you returned that grin.

"How about a round two?~"

#Happy Chaos #guilty gear strive #guilty gear #smut #character x you #character x reader #character x reader smut #Happy Chaos x Reader #fanfiction

[obeymycok]

Pact Headcanons Pt. 2

Been thinking about this for like 2 months straight, world building is so much fun though. Anyways, I hope this makes sense because it’s hard to explain it perfectly without drawing it, which I am absolute dog shit at. Wish I could just cram y’all in my brain for like 20 minutes but this is the best I can come up with lmao

Part 1

I think MC can control whether their pact marks are visible or not. Unless of course they’re using the pact, in which case it glows. I think this is canon, but also that MC’s power increases the stronger their relationship is with said brother.

That being said, what if MC could do more than just bend the demon to their will? What if MC could also use the brothers’ powers to defend themselves if the brothers couldn’t? (Or just because they can) I mean like their very own demon form and everything but based on the brother’s sin they’re using.

Slight backtrack to the demon-human relationships, not everyone acts on a certain sin the same way. For example, it’d be a very good argument to say that Asmo is also very prideful. He sees himself as the most important and beautiful being in existence (I mean..👀) Now Lucifer is also pretty full of himself, but he mainly prides himself on achieving anything and everything. 

I see an MC who prides themselves like Asmo, having a weaker energy/attack when using Lucifer’s powers for protection. MC would also indulge in (insert sin) almost exclusively. Not a personality change because it’s still them, but definitely a certain mood whenever they switch. An MC using Satan’s pact becomes noticeably more irritated and the air is thick with tension.

As far as the demon form goes, hair color, demon features, and height is the only thing that copies the brothers. Skin color might merge a bit with light-skinned MC using Mammon’s pact or a dark-skinned MC using Belphie’s pact but their own would remain dominant. Like brother and MC’s child if they have one. Hair and body type remain the same, and clothing would be changed to MC’s style.

Maybe an MC using Asmo’s pact is a little more self conscious and acts more like Levi? An introvert who reads spicy fanfics, perhaps? They would remain as covered as they felt comfortable. And of course, an MC who’s JUST like Asmo, is free to wear however little they want. AND the pact ALWAYS adjusts to MC’s comfort because I’M the op and I said so (also supporting good and bad self esteem days💅)

But yeah, I think I’m gonna write a fic/more headcanons for the brothers reacting to MC just whipping a whole ass demon form out and obliterating something with power that rivaled their own (go MC!!💅👀💅)

#OBEY ME #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me worldbuilding #obey me demon brothers #obey me demon form #demon brothers #Demon form #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #Obey Me Levi #obey me leviathan #user speaks

[enbyleighlines]

Ugh I am so uncomfortable right now

I have a sinus infection and I haven’t been sleeping well the past couple of nights, so I’m tired, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to fall asleep

But I’m also too tired to do anything else, so I’m just stuck in this state of absolute boredom

So I just binged a bunch of anime today

Finished Dungeon Meshi and loved it. Absolute banger of a show. And so many attractive character designs. Laios? Kabru?? Daya??? The other female dwarf???? That evil elf twink????? The female orc??????

All it needs is a super femme, super bitchy queen bee type character, and it will have satisfied ALL of my types

Also Falin and Marcille are so yuri coded, love that friends to lovers schoolgirl energy

I also watched the first episode of that omegaverse anime. It was p good. I was confused why they decided to make alpha/omega relationships the taboo one, since typically that is the most common one. Because they wanted the characters to face adversity without directly including homophobia, I suppose?

Then why not make them an alpha/alpha or omega/omega pair?? That’s something I haven’t seen before, and it would better align with the whole metaphorical homophobia thing!

I mean, I know why they didn’t, but idk. It would have been more interesting in my opinion.

Additionally, I had a hard time focusing on the anime due to the way they portrayed the child, Hikari. They said he was 1 going on 2, so as someone who works with that age group, I couldn’t help but notice every time Hikari wasn’t acting his age.

I won’t bore anyone with details, but basically, his gross motor movement is pretty behind for a boy who is almost 2. Meanwhile, his cognitive and emotional development is quite advanced for that age group. His ability to speak in nearly full sentences is not entirely out of the realm of possibility (I’ve taught 1 year olds with advanced vocabularies before) but his ability to still access his vocabulary during moments of emotional distress is less convincing.

I wish it was that easy to communicate with toddlers in the midst of an emotional meltdown. It would make teaching so much easier.

However, I did think it was a cute touch that after being compared to a star, Hikari spent the rest of the day pointing out every star he saw and calling it his own name. And I appreciate that they didn’t bother showing us the 20 more times he did the same exact thing the following two weeks.

Toddlers will 100% become obsessed with a tiny detail they overhear, and talk about it almost exclusively for weeks afterwards.

So be careful about what you say around toddlers. You never know what they will internalize and repeat like a broken record for the next 14 days straight.

Anyway, that’s basically my day in a nutshell.

I’m tired of watching anime, so if anyone wants to ramble about something to me to keep me entertained while I ride out this sinus infection, please do so.

You could tell me about one of your ocs, or the last anime you watched, or gush to me about your otp, whatever suits your fancy.

Also, please do contact me if you have thoughts on which cuties from Dungeon Meshi should kiss. So far the only ones I’m shipping are Marcille and Falin, so I am open to learning more about the popular ships of the fandom.

#dungeon meshi #tadaima okaeri

[i984]

Signing off...

Hello! I want to start this post by telling you guys something really interesting...

Tl;dr: I'm taking a break for a month due to severe stress and performance anxiety, plus college and work is kicking me in the arse, but do send requests and prompts in because I need to write them FLUFF to get rid of the stress. Love ya!

So a month ago I stumbled upon a really amazing writer here on tumblr dearest, and I immediately fell in love with their work. It was so well written, and I couldn't comprehend the fact that it was the first ever story they've ever written and they wrote it under such circumstances that if I were to be put in their position, I can guarantee I wouldn't even be able to string a coherent sentence.

Anyway, that really got me thinking.

It's been two months since I first started writing, and revisiting old works of mine reveals something along the lines of "I'm not improving," and "I'm not creative."

It's been a problem I seem to notice, is that I struggle a lot with characterization (ESPECIALLY this) and pacing, among other things that makes me view my works mostly as blegh.

I know comparing is probably not the best way to develop, and I wouldn't say I'm envious of people's talents (because it's obvious some people are just so great at stuff lmao) but it's more like I'm disappointed in myself I guess(?)

In the collective 20 works that I've published over the two months, I still can't fully grasp what works and what doesn't with the Fandom, and I can't quite identify nor fix the problems in my writings. Combined with the burn out, this makes writing a very painful process for me even though I really want to enjoy it.

I rely very heavily on external validations and to see that in the midst of the dead Fandom (when compared to when it's at its peak), people can still garner almost 1k notes in the span of a week (and I can see why it's very well loved), posting here just makes me so stressed when I shouldn't even be.

It got so bad to the point I have trouble breathing every time I think about writing, and although now it doesn't happen as often, the performance anxiety is pretty much there.

Work, as well as college too has been a pretty great contributor for my stress and to put writing on top of that is just excruciating for me.

And that's why I'm taking a break!

It'll probably a month break like how I've stated in previous post, because it's become apparent I need rest LMAO

Thank you so much for the support you guys have shown and sent my way, I want to say that I really appreciate it! Honestly I wouldn't get this far without you guys, I love you so much!

I've set some reblogs for other creator's works while I'm gone, because I've been meaning to read but I just haven't found the opportunity for it. People here make such great works <3

If you guys have any requests, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO SEND THEM IN. I know this might feel contradictory but as I pointed out, I'm not really imaginative or creative, and I really want to write things, but most of the time I cant come up with anything or what I think is good isn't what you guys want (I know I still have a bunch of requests sitting around, but like I said I write when inspiration struck me).

So yes, send requests in so that I can do some writing during the break, and hopefully come back with a bunch of requests already done and ready to post!

Also, if you guys make it this far, I've got a surprise for you which is I'm finally trying to work on the series I've been planning to do since January HAHA! We'll have to see where it takes me but right now I have so much ideas running around in my brain and not enough waking hour in the day to develop and write it.

How do you guys feel about lord crime v.s. master detective trope BECAUSE I AM CRAZY ABOUT IT.

I'll see you guys when I do :) Love you! ❤

Special thanks to:

@missmonsters2 and @robiin-buckley for being the people who literally BURNS my heart with the desire and give me the courage to write, I wouldn’t be here without you 🥺💘

@ocyrus for being my first ever anon, I cannot stress how much I owe you <3

@tulipsbymybed for hyping me up when I first started and when I thought my work is a shitshow.

@vorsdanysstuff for being the first person to reblog my stuff and says some very very nice things about it and gave me more confidence to write, and also. For finding me and being the love of my life. I treasure you with my whole being.

@wol-fica for feeding me with cat pictures and being my lovely wife who misses me when I'm gone and makes picrews of us together, I love you so much 💓

@maryannecrimsworth for noticing my username and for loving my blogs questionable aesthetic, and for talking to me about dystopia and being my favorite lil bro!

@cursedchar for being the awkward mutual at first but now we spew chaos every where and every time we talk and interact. Honestly, you bring the wild side in me out to the world. Still hate your angsty stuff tho.

@tundra1029 FOR BEING THE ICON THAT GIVES GOOD ASS AMAZING PROMPTS and being a super lovely person and a great writer, I love you buddy <3

@alexkolax for well. You know me the most out of everyone in this site. My respect and trust for you is through the roof and cannot be expressed with mere words. Thank you for being here, Lex.

@ricosnumber1fan for being there in most of my works. I still think about you and scroll through your comments and reblogs. You're the best (second to sourdough tho).

@theflamboyantshadow for always leaving amazing comments under my posts, you are the sweetest person ever and I really wish you a great fucking life. Love you.

@iamnicodemus for writing that dragon Wednesday fic... and LEAVING THE MOST FLATTERING REBLOGS. ILYSM AND. you always make me smile when I think of you LMAO

@literally everybody else who've single handedly kept me alive and well on this site, I appreciate all your little asks, reblogs, comments, likes, and just UGH my heart aches for every single one of you.

Pray I return soon.

[lopposting]

Korea Game awards Game Director interview transcription <Lies of P>

Source (KR)

Hey so, I went through some Korea Game Awards stuff. It looks like there was a lot of content recorded for the event, but it doesn't really seem available online. I did find this interview with the director uploaded by a ruliweb user. It ended up being more of talk related to the industry and not all that related to LoP, but I figured I might as well share it since and I had gone through it anyway [and who knows, this could all be lost media one day!].

On LOP winning GOTY - South Korea

The Metacritic score was honestly higher than he expected

Talk about expanding the console games industry in Korea. Again, in South Korea - a leading world of PC Bangs and E-Sports, MMORPGs reign supreme! [Reading around the k-net supposedly LoP is notably one of the first major south korean developed single-player console title? I want to write about this more]

Influenced by other console, single player titles like Naughty Dog's Uncharted Series. [me: I love you, NG's The Last of Us.]

I'm pretty sure that based on his answers he will continue to spearhead the Lies of P IP

Send me an Inbox if you have a correction or see possible error/clarification needed!

[The "footage" doesn't seem available so it's a little hard for me because we can't hear the phrasing, so it's my best guess]

[VERY ROUGH TRANS]

ENG

Hello, nice to meet you, I am Choi Ji-won, general director of Lies of P [Jiwon Choi]

What games have you participated in developing so far? Asker Online, and just recently I was in charge of Lost Ark. [note: MMORPG and he did combat direction]

What do you think are the virtues of a good developer?

Above all, I think it's being clear and unwavering in direction

To what extent have I achieved compared to my goal? I think I've achieved about 80% of it.

I think the remaining 20% area

I want to at least overcome that level of fun I had, and the remaining area is one where the goal is to explore new fun

To do that, you have to put in a lot of effort, enjoy the game a lot, and talk a lot with your fellow development colleagues to achieve the fun you want

I want to get into that zone This is really honest

What advice can you give to juniors who want to become developers? Above all, you must become a gamer 'Does that fun really move you?' And do you want to give this feeling to yourself by becoming a developer?' I would like to take this opportunity to tell you once again that it is more important than anything to make an effort just to have fun

Why did you become a game developer? I've been a console game fanatic since I was young So, while enjoying famous masterpieces in console games, I also want to create a game that can provide this kind of fun I think it would be The Uncharted Series at that time I think I was able to analyze why this was fun while playing So I decided to become that kind of developer

What do you think about the Metascore rating results? [note: I'm assuming they're talking about the metacritic score, which is a critic aggregate (Lies of P currently sits at an 80)]

I'll be really honest about this too I thought it was a better score than the score I received. [Note: This is what he says, but I think what he means is "It was a better score than the one what I was expecting"] When I saw the evaluations of the metascore I realized I was only thinking about a small aspect and thought, 'I was [too] focused on the completion of just this area' But now, 'I need to think about a broader field and focus on it again.' It was that kind of experience

What is your ultimate goal as a developer?

Rather than being a developer who receives positive reviews from users, I actually want to remain as a developer who has a positive influence on other fellow developers in the field I hope to become someone who can serve as an opportunity to further improve and develop the development culture and development capabilities of our country's game industry

How do you feel when you receive positive and negative feedback?

(If you think positively) Thank you But I think we should never be satisfied with that (When receiving negative feedback) More and more, there were instances of reflection from a gamer's perspective like ‘Okay. I should have been more in his shoes.’

Any last words you would like to say? I don't think this award is ever meant for me I think this is an award given to everyone on the team I will take this as a sign to work even harder in the future We will continue to do our best to become a developer that can provide only fun and emotion

KOR

안녕하세요 반갑습니다 <> 총괄 디렉터 최지원 입니다

Q: 그동안 개발에 참여하신 게임은 ?

<애스커 온라인>, 직전엔 <로스트아크> 프로젝트를 담당했습니다

Q: 좋은 개발자의 덕목은 무엇이라고 생각하시나요?

무엇보다 뚜렷하고, 흔들리지 않는

방향성을 제시하는 것이라고 생각합니다

Q: 내 목표정에 비해 어는 정도까지 달성했나요?

약 80% 정도는 달성했다고 생각을 해요

남은 20% 영역

본인이 느꼈던 그 재미 이상을 넘어서

새로운 재미를 추구할 수 있는 영역이라고 생각을 합니다

그러려면 정말 노력도 많이 해야 되고

게임도 많이 즐겨야 되고

같은 개발 동료분들과도

원하는 재미를 정말 많이 한 방향이 되도록

대화도 많이 해야 되거든요

저는 그 영역에 도달하고 싶습니다

이게 정말 솔직한 겁니다

Q: 개발자가 되고 싶은 후배들에게 해줄 수 있는 조언은?

무엇보다 게이머가 되어야 됩니다

그 재미를 통해서 본인에게 정말 감동이 되는가?'

그리고 이 감동을 본인도 개발자가 돼서 선사하고 싶은가?'

진짜 재미만을 위해서 노력하는 게

무엇보다 중요하다는 것,

다시 한번 이 자리를 빌려서 말씀드리고 싶습니다

Q: 게임 개발자가된 계기?

저는 어렸을 적부터 콘솔 게임 덕후였습니다

그래서 콘솔 게임에서 유명한 명작들을 즐기면서

나도 꼭 이런 재미를 줄 수 있는 게임을 만들고 싶다

그때는 <언차티드 시리즈>일 것 같아요

플레이하면서 이게 왜 재밌는지를 분석을 할 수 있었던 것 같아요

그래서 그러한 개발자가 되기로 결심을 하게 됐습니다

Q: 메세타스코어 평점결과 에 대해서 어떻게 생각하시나요?

이것도 정말 솔직하게 얘기할게요

받은 점수보다는 더 나은 점수라고 생각을 했었어요

그 메타스코어에 대한 평가 내용들을 봤을 때는

납득이 가더라고요

작은 영역에서만 생각을 했었고

'그 부분에 대한 완성도만 봤었구나...'

근데 이제는 '더욱더 넓은 분야까지도 생각을 하고,

또 정진해야겠다.' 그러한 계기가 됐었습니다

Q: 궁극적인 개발자로서의 목표가 있다면?

유저들에게 좋은 호평을 받는 개발자이기보다는

현업에 있는 다른 동료 개발자들에게

긍정적인 영향을 미치는 개발자로 사실 남고 싶어요

우리나라 게임업계에 대한 개발 문화나

개발력이 더욱더 개선되고 발전하는

그러한 계기가 될 수 있는 사람이 되었으면 좋겠습니다

Q: 긍정적 & 부정적 피드백을 받을때의 기분은?

(긍정적으로 생각해주시면) 감사하죠

하지만 그것으로 만족해서는 절대 안 된다고

생각을 하고 있습니다

(부정적 피드백을 받으면) 더욱더 게이머 입장에서

'아차, 제가 더욱... 더 그분의 입장이 되어야 했었구나'라고

반성을 하는 경우도 많았었습니다

Q: 마지막으로 하고싶으신 말은?

이 상은 결코 저에게 주는 상이 아니라고 생각을 해요

팀 모든 분들에게 주어지는 상이라고 생각을 하고

앞으로도 더욱더 열심히 하라는 뜻으로 받아들이겠습니다

오직 재미와 감동만을 선사할 수 있는

그런 개발자가 되도록

계속 최선을 다하도록 노력하겠습니다

#man my korean is really not good #I am going through some LOP IRL stuff first! sorry for the wait for inbox answers. #I did come across some other interesting game-related stuff that I plan on sharing later #lies of p #liesofp #lop #lop irl #lop bts #jiwon choi #translation #korea game awards #full disclosure: i put it through google translate and then went through it manually a couple of times for error check/edits

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

We’ve Got A File On You: Evanescence’s Amy Lee

I’m curious about the “Bring Me To Life” demo on this new anniversary edition of Fallen. Is this the exact version that you played for the label before they pushed for the rap part?

AMY LEE: Actually, no.

What’s the timeline on it? Where does it come from?

LEE: We did, like, at least nine demos of “Bring Me To Life.” Because they had decided this was the song that’s gonna be the first single, and we’re gonna put a whole bunch of focus on this breaking-in point. So, they just kept being like, “How about do the whole thing again, but add this?” And they were paying us. It was back in the day when people got artist development, which was actually really cool. So we kind of had to do what they said. [laughs] “OK! Whatever it takes!” We just did that demo a million times, and that one, as far as I can tell, is the last one or one of the last ones before the rap happened. They were already giving us notes at that point, but it didn’t go there. The Daredevil thing hadn’t come up, and we hadn’t had that whole new wave of, “OK, now let’s talk about this whole new idea.” So I felt like that was a good representation of us getting it all the way to another version that you’re not already pretty much hearing on the album.

You’ve been open about your fight with the label about adding a male co-vocalist, and how the guest spot that ended up on that song was the compromise. Is this version that we’re hearing now, this demo, kind of how you still think of the song in your head?

LEE: You know, actually, after all this time, playing the song a million times live, they’re never done growing. Especially when it’s a song like that. We’re always gonna play “Bring Me To Life” at a show. We want it to get better and better. We want it to be interesting. And also, you realize you have moments when the crowd does something. Make space for that. Let’s make extra space. We have a whole new part of it that’s a little bit longer, where we get everybody with their hands in the air. So when I think of the song, actually, I hear it the live way, because that’s the way I’ve heard it the most in my life. And the rap is in there, just, I do the rap, which is pretty fun. It’s not really a rap. It’s such a weird way to call it. Anyway.

A ton of people feel a very strong connection to Fallen. It’s also a snapshot of who you were at 21. Is that kind of strange, to have people feel so intimately connected to this very young version of you?

LEE: Yeah. You know, that was hard for a minute, because it was always really a stress of mine in the beginning to bring them along to the next thing. Because I love making music, and my personal quest as an artist is always about sharing more and more and more, and showing the whole picture of my heart and things that I’ve experienced, and drawing from real life. And there’s just so many colors to a human being, and to the things we experience. It would be impossible at any age to sum up your whole self in one song, or even in one album.

So that was actually my biggest reservation about the idea of having a guest vocalist on the first song, was that if this is our only chance – because that happens all the time, this is the thing that people are gonna hear and it’s all they ever hear of us, which is totally possible – I want our first thing to be the best possible representation. That’s why there’s so much pressure on a first entrance single. It’s like, I have to show you who I am as completely as possible, for a million reasons. One of them being, if you like it, you get the rest of the album and you’re not disappointed. Or if you hate it, it’s like, “Wait, that’s not fair! That’s not it! Please listen, I have more to say!” A lot of that fear was quelled very quickly, because “Going Under” did great, and of course “My Immortal” did great, and we have brought so many fans along. At this point, 20 years later, it’s insane. I am so grateful.

So yeah, that bothered me at first, and I’ve gone through a couple of little moments like that. But I don’t feel like that anymore. We have millions of amazing fans who love our latest album. And I feel really proud of everything that’s out there. And in context, I love Fallen. It’s not that I love it less…actually, I do! I love it less out of context. In context of the whole picture of us, and all of our growth, after all this time, I love it. But if that was our only thing that we had done, it would really bug me. So maybe that’s the reason I can’t stop coming back.

The Early Days Of Evanescence (1994-2000)

You started the band as a teenager. What was the music scene in Arkansas like in the mid-’90s? Did people know what to make of you guys?

LEE: It was different. We were different, even for that. I always saw that as a positive. The time period is part of that. [We were] super influenced by grunge and alternative. Heavier stuff, too. But what was the music scene like in Arkansas? It was what you would expect. Country was big. Hip-hop, pop, whatever was on the radio. Whatever you’re being fed by the top 40. So there’s that world, and then there was this total counterculture death metal scene. So, we obviously didn’t fit into either of those groups. But the death metal scene was a little bit closer. Those were the concerts I went to, in tiny, sweaty, back-of-the-pizza-restaurant clubs and stuff. I definitely learned to have an appreciation for this really heavy, rhythm-driven music, and cool riffs, and double bass pedals.

That’s not where I came from. That’s not my origins in music. I was really into classical. Dramatic classical, and then Soundgarden and Björk and cool, interesting alternative music. So when we did our thing, what was different about us was, first, that we weren’t a live band. It was just me and Ben [Moody]. Kids making music, in my parents’ garage and his parents’ garage and basement. Any basement or garage, or studio we could borrow after hours at my dad’s radio station, or anything like that. And we were recording artists. We were just finding what we could and making sounds. It was more like an electronic duo, and then pulling in band elements was always like, “Who will do a show with us?” And we’d gather up a drummer, and a bass player, and another guitar player, and promise them pizza and play a show. And we got signed [by the BMG-distributed Wind-Up Records] pretty quickly. We’d only played a few shows. It was like, “OK, we’ve got to put a band together, and make this real.” So we really grew up and became a band in front of the world.

It’s a very old-school, major label A&R story, I feel like. You get discovered, you get plucked, and you get brought out to LA. That kind of thing doesn’t really happen anymore in the way it did then. What was that moment like for the band, to kind of be thrown from playing the pizza place, to now, you’re in show business?

LEE: It was tumultuous. It was fighting. It was so much push and pull. It was gratitude, as well, but I felt from a pretty early point that I was constantly having to fight everyone around me to not sell out all of our vision.

So, we got signed, and it was awesome because we didn’t have to do a showcase. Everyone else wanted us to play a live show, and it was like, we’re not really like that. We still have to put this together. And this one label from New York was obsessed with it, and they’d had big success before, and we were like, “OK, we’re doing this.” Just a really rash decision at 19. And then instead of it being like what it sounds like when you say it, which is they flew us to LA, they put us in a cool place, and it’s cool and we’re making this album now. That is what we expected. We thought the album was done. But I have to be grateful now, because what we thought the album was is nowhere near as good as what Fallen ended up being, because they made us do crap that we didn’t want to do and write more music.

We had the freedom of not having to have jobs that would suck all of our energy. We could make our job impressing the label with something great. So, we just worked on writing new songs and demoing songs for a year and a half. And there were rocky moments in there, where we had to fight for our rights, and go home, and there were insults flying around everywhere when we didn’t do everything that they wanted. But all those fights were completely worth it, too. It was just the right combination of saying we’re gonna write more and do more, and also fighting back on the things that would’ve absolutely bastardized this whole thing and made us something that wouldn’t have existed this long.

Joining Korn For “Freak On A Leash” On MTV Unplugged (2006)

How well did you know Korn before they asked you to do that?

LEE: Oh, quite well. I loved Korn. Korn was one of the heavy bands that I loved, and I was so excited as a fan when they wanted to do something with me. We toured, I think, right after that. I think that was one of the last MTV Unpluggeds they did.

I think you’re right. I miss it!

LEE: I do too! It was beautiful. I made up my part the day before, I came in, we ran through it one time, and that’s it. I loved doing it, and then we went on tour together after that, which was cool. And then we did it again 15 years later.

Yeah, you stayed close.

LEE: Yeah. And then we finally did that song live! Because we never did it back in 2007 or whatever, when we first toured together. And this time, I was like, “Are you gonna have me up on that song, or what? Come on!”

The Cure were also a part of that show. Did you get to hang out with Robert Smith?

LEE: Yeah, we were all on the couch together, hanging out backstage. It was pretty amazing.

Singing “Sally’s Song” For Nightmare Revisited (2008)

I saw the Nightmare live show in LA a couple of years ago, and Billie Eilish sang that part.

LEE: Oh, amazing!

It’s cool how that song is kind of becoming a standard for alt-leaning pop singers.

LEE: Yeah! It’s funny you say the word “standard,” because there’s so few [new] Christmas standards. These songs that we’re always going to listen to, they’re all from the exact same era. And I do it too. But The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of those really rare things, where there are holiday songs on that – countercultural, of course – that are gonna live forever.

Yeah, and that belong to a younger generation. Was Nightmare big for you growing up?

LEE: Yes. It came out when I was 11 or 12, which was perfect. I mean, it was perfect. I think Edward Scissorhands was right before that, and I was obsessed with that. That’s one of my favorite scores. And then [Nightmare] came out, and I was really blown away, because I have a big love for stop-motion animation. My first record that I ever bought with my own money was the California Raisins. [laughs]

Wow!

LEE: I have always really loved what we used to call Claymation, but stop-motion animation stuff. And seeing my favorite director [Tim Burton] and my favorite score composer [Danny Elfman] do something that was that, I was a fan for life. Immediately obsessed with it.

How did you end up getting to do “Sally’s Song” for that record? Did you know Danny at that point?

LEE: No, but he was really nice to me. He invited me over to his house. It was a really surreal, cool experience. But [Disney] just asked me. I also did a random song that I don’t know a lot of people know from The Muppets [“Halfway Down The Stairs”] on their Muppets tribute album, but I think that was after that, because they were like, “Hey, that went well, let’s do another one.” But they asked me. I got the call, and I said, “Hell yeah! Please, can I do ‘Sally’s Song?'”

Nightmare – thanks in large part to Hot Topic, I think – is synonymous with a certain strain of alternative fashion. And for a while there, I think Evanescence was as well. I was in high school in the mid 2000s and there was definitely a lot of “the Amy Lee look” in the hallways. Did you ever see yourself as a style icon? Was that something you cared about?

LEE: I really have always been into fashion design. As a kid, it was hard for me to choose a definite career path, because I loved music. I felt like music was my passion, and I had to do music. But I also had a lot of passion about visual art and fashion design. And I have journals full of all of it. And making things, I’ve always made most of the art in our homes. I buy art, too, but I get an idea, and I’m like, “I want that on my wall. Here’s what needs to be here.”

I am so lucky, because what I’ve been able to do is combine all of those things into this job. I get to make my music, which is the center and the focus and the king. That’s the point, but then all around that, from production design ideas to album art ideas. I usually sketch them out before we do an album cover. I have a sketch of every one, where I had an idea, and I was like, “This is what we need to make. This is the title, this is the vibe, these are the colors.” And then with clothes, too, I’ve been making my stage wardrobe forever. Not all by myself, but I design it and I have somebody with a lot more patience than me do the math and help me take it all the way.

Her Children’s Album, Dream Too Much (2016)

Dream Too Much came out in 2016. Your son was born in 2014. I imagine there’s a correlation there.

LEE: Mm-hm, definitely! Making music isn’t always serious. You just sing your way through the day sometimes, and I realized that extra after having a baby, because you just end up filling the space with happy sounds. My husband and I both do it. You’re just singing through the activity, and then it’s like, “That’s kind of funny.�� The song “Dream Too Much,” I was goofing around on the guitar, and Jack as, like, a two-year-old was saying those first couple of lines while he was playing. “There’s a monkey in the band!“ He was talking about Curious George, I think. And then, “The muffins are sleeping!“ I was like, “The muffins are sleeping? Awesome, we’re putting that in there.” [laughs]

It was fun to just have an opportunity to let things be goofy and fun, and when you have that subject there, you know exactly how to entertain them. There’s a person to focus on. It’s like, “I’m going to make this the thing that you love.” Including the stop-motion animation, and the instruments that are click-y. He used to love this Nesquik commercial with a STOMP vibe. Everything was pencils on glasses and chicka-chicka-choo-kah stuff. My producer and co-writer friend, Will Hunt – not Will Hunt the drummer [of Evanescence], very confusing – we did that album together, and he’s this super, like, science-y, fun, experimental music guy. We became friends over our love of Björk. He’s like, “Oh, this is great. I have all these weird tubular sticks and junk we can make sounds out of.” And it was just this really fun experience where I got to work with my whole family.

It sounds so naturalistic, or something. It doesn’t sound like the discipline of songwriting. You almost make it sound like you were just goofing around.

LEE: We were having so much fun! That’s what it always should be. I think that’s where good music comes from, is that you’re enjoying what you’re doing and that translates. But there are different paths and ways. It felt like we didn’t have to think so hard and make it complicated for an adult audience. It’s funny, because you make choices that are just natural, and you realize that maybe that’s not such a bad idea in general. There was definitely learning through that experience.

Metalocalypse: Army Of The Doomstar (2023)

I recognized your voice right away, even though you have like two lines.

LEE: I keep meaning to capture the clip and put it on social media somewhere! I want them to hear my voice screaming.

I was looking at your IMDb, and I was somewhat surprised that you haven’t done much voice acting or acting. Was that ever something you were interested in pursuing?

LEE: Always. I’m always asking for the right opportunities to do that stuff. I haven’t always had the best representation, and I think that maybe held me back in the past, when I would have really liked it. I just didn’t have the access that you’d think that I would. But I’m not in that situation now, so I’m always looking for something fun like that, whether it’s voice acting or making music of any kind for a film. It’s interesting the way the film industry and TV industry work. It’s so depressing how often things go so far and then get canned. There are so many things that get half-made and then dumped, and I’ve written music for a lot of those. [laughs] It’s not my fault! Or maybe it is. Maybe I should stay away.

Well, it’s odd, because movies have been woven into the Evanescence story. You mentioned the Daredevil thing, which ended up being so huge for you guys. Did you feel like you were interacting with Hollywood at that time, or did that feel like it was in a separate sphere?

LEE: There were moments. Hollywood doesn’t feel that separate from the music industry in LA. It’s all one big thing to me, in my mind. So going to those awards shows – or, we played the screening party for Daredevil, and all the actors and everybody were there – I definitely felt like we were intermingled in that world in a way that was very surreal. It’s weird. It’s like, “Whoa. Why are we here?”

That’s a great era, the early 2000s, for action movies randomly having a metal song over the end credits.

LEE: Right? [laughs] You’re welcome.

“Goofy Sings Evanescence’s Bring Me To Life” (2014)

I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask you about the Goofy version of “Bring Me To Life.” I’m told that you’ve heard it.

LEE: I’ve heard it. I’ve heard a lot of things over the years.

When you heard it, what was your reaction to it?

LEE: Not to insult the artist…

Bring it.

LEE: Honestly, I was like “What the fuck is this? This is stupid.” It’s funny. I don’t have a huge response. So many people sent me that. Even more people sent me this recent, the music note thing. There’s this toy that’s a music note, and it’s floating and singing the song. It’s not singing, it’s like [imitates warbling noise]. It’s so bad. My favorite one of those, I will tell you because it haunts me to this day. Somebody worked at Chuck E. Cheese or Showbiz Pizza, and you know the animatronic characters of the band?

Yeah.

LEE: So, after hours, when nobody was there, I don’t know if they work this way or if this person programmed the show. I don’t know if they’re sensitive to sound, so they move their mouths and move around, or if the person programmed it, but they made a light show, and it was dark, and they’re playing the instruments, and they did like three of our songs. In the right state of mind, that’ll give you nightmares. It was horrifying and awesome. And I salute you, sir or ma’am, whoever you are. [laughs]

You’ve got music that’s kind of been absorbed into the broader pop cultural consciousness, and I guess that’s why these things happen. There’s also the Ariana Grande thing on Fallon, where she’s doing a vocal impression of you. Is that kind of stuff surreal? How do you even process that?

LEE: It’s not surreal anymore. When we were starting out, it was. But at this point, living with it for this long, the music kind of just takes on its own life, and you start to see it as separate from yourself. It’s hard to explain. It started out very surreal and strange, and impostor syndrome is very real, but I feel like at this point, I’m where I’m meant to be. It’s amazing and I’m proud. I am ready to accept my fate as goth superstar Amy Lee of the fuckin’ dark-ass band Evanescence.

#amy lee #evanescence #2023 interviews

[doggernaut]

Hi, hello, if you've read It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two in the past day or so and are wondering what perfect storm of frustration/depression/anxiety contributed to its creation, have at it:

April 2022: After 20 years of marathoning, I ran a marathon PR at my dream race, 10/10 would do again, top 5 life moment.

May 2022: Asthma attack during a track workout, spent the entire summer rebuilding my lung capacity.

September 2022: Bruised the ball of my right foot, lost more training time (also started grad school, this is important later).

October 2022: Foolishly ran a out-of-state marathon anyway, started experiencing Covid symptoms the day I got home (did I get Covid on the plane to Chicago or at school... based on the timing it was probably school and I likely had it while racing, but who knows).

November 2022: Three weeks out from Covid I ran another out-of-state marathon. (I KNOW but listen. These two specific races were planned years before and got deferred due to Covid cancellations. I also ran the second of the two extremely slowly. Almost an hour and a half slower than my PR.)

November 2022-December 2022: Technically no longer testing positive for Covid but still coughing constantly due to a sinus infection and then some other infection. (RSV? It was going around.)

January 2023: No longer coughing, began slowly and reasonably training for the Boston Marathon in April.

February 2023: Knee pain?!?!

March 2023: Knee still in pain, can barely walk, let alone run. Hauled myself off to PT only to discover the cause of my knee pain is actually an imbalance, possibly due to overcompensating due to the lower back/hip pain I developed after sleeping on the couch for two weeks while I had Covid.

April 2023: Ran the Boston Marathon on minimal training and didn't do too bad, all things considered.

Summer 2023: Able to run slowly but comfortably. Had a glorious five weeks of running while studying in New Zealand. Even got down to tempo pace for a mile or two at one point.

September 2023: Returned home, tried running, couldn't breathe.

October/November 2023: Saw an allergist after a month and was diagnosed with a mold allergy (mold season in Seattle is ... bad ... but also never affected me before). The doctor concluded that this allergy and the exacerbation of my asthma in the aftermath of Covid is possibly due to having had Covid.

Started a daily inhaled steroid to help my lungs. Started being able to get through easy (3 mile) runs. Weaned myself off of it.

January 2024: New start! Committed to building back with daily runs and/or strength training sessions. Running does not feel as good as it used to. I have lost a lot of core strength over the past year and it makes a huge difference in how I feel during a run. Everything feels like a huge effort and thinking about ever being able to do a speed workout again is daunting, but at least I can run.

January 20, 2024: Fell down the motherfucking stairs in my house and severely bruised my tailbone, setting myself back YET AGAIN.

All of this is boring and unimportant if you are not me but if you're looking for context, this is it! I don't claim to be, like, a superstar athlete or anything but for the past decade or so I've been an "age group" runner, performing at or near the top of my age group in local races, running in the lead pack in group runs, hitting pretty tough (and I realize, somewhat arbitrary) qualifying standards (the Boston Marathon was a dream for a long time, and I finally got there), and seeing my times drop despite being in my forties now. It's hard, and humbling, to fall too far behind in such a short time. And it's hard to see my friends still excelling and feel like I'm being left behind. This is why Jack is kind of a sad, anxious mess in that fic! Because I am a sad, anxious mess!

#personal

[aerodaltonimperial]

so, when i could tell the writing was on the wall (lol) when it came to me and the publishing industry, i told my therapist that i needed to find something else to do with that time, and that i thought i might get really into running again. it seemed like a decent thing to do with my new time AND gave me the possibility to actually achieve goals and find success. he agreed whole-heartedly that this sounded VERY GOOD lol thanks bro you got my back. i decided i would join a seasonal running event through run across america (runs about 2.5 months).

i did the fall one last year! it was a great way to get me back into things again, but i set my goal as 50km and i just BARELY made it between vacations and getting sick. i set my spring goal at 50km again. it's been 2 weeks, and i'm at 35km already. ???? LOL looks like i'm going to need to up that goal to 100km. but not only that!! i am hitting sub-10 minute miles with WAY less effort than it feels like they should be. even on the treadmill, which i HATE and am so slow on because it's so boring, i can pound out 10-minute miles just to keep my speed through the bad weather spells when i can't run outside.

even when i was running 10ks, i never got down sub-10 on miles. i could hold a pretty decent 10:20 average mile pace, and would MUCH rather have run longer rather than faster. now, i have less time to run because of parenting (i can't run until 7:30 PM most nights) so now it's faster or nothing hahaha. and turns out, i can actually do that. i've gotten to some not super duper hard 9:20 miles which is really good for me. i'm SO happy that i was right. this is finally actual success! i feel good!! i'm seeing actual results from my hard work!!!! i WANT to run, half because i'm so desperate for those endorphins to feel normal BUT ALSO because i'm feeling so amazing after i do it knowing i've already come so far!!! i could cry. i'm so happy about this. this is BY FAR the healthiest thing i could have done in the wake of the fucking misery of losing my publishing dream. CONGRATS KATY ON FINALLY MAKING BETTER CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE. TOOK YOU WAY TOO MANY DECADES TO FIGURE IT OUT LOL

positive effects of this: the brain chemicals are the only thing making me feel like myself these days, which is quite huge. also i'm drinking WAY less beer because i know i have to run later. my clothes are fitting differently??? negative effects: MY FUCKING LEGS AND FEET HURT. so much fucking laundry??? i am so fucking HUNGRY all the TIME. i get sleepy and i collapse and i get nothing else done. i am COLD CONSTANTLY.

so if you wanna help pump me up!!!! i am feeling good!!! sometimes i don't want to go on the treadmill but i do it anyway and then i tell myself i have to keep going!!! this is the most consistency i have had since before i left japan!!! i believe in myself and everyone else, too!!! lol

[i-love-my-boyfriend]

road trip.

we pass by the countless semi trucks, hills, farms. etc. the car is filled with silence as his dad is focused on the road, his mom and brother asleep.

"hey, are we almost there yet?" he spoke out loudly.

his brother, twitches in his sleep, almost reacting to what he said before he slowly woke up.

"mmmm?" he rubs his eyes and looks out the window. "hey yeah, are we almost there? i'm getting kinda hungry."

for an older brother, he acts pretty immature. more immature than your own younger brother. but who am i to judge?

his dad, looking at the rearview mirror to look back at the two says "yup, give or take uhhhh 20 more minutes."

i mentally smack myself in the face. it feels like we've been on the road, in this car, on this not so comfortable seat, for hoursssssss.

they both groan but their dad doesn't say anything back, his focus back on the road again.

why not pass the time by sleeping??

i try to get comfortable, crossing my arms and wiggling around to find a comfortable ish position.

.

.

i wake up to the feeling of someone shaking me. i slowly open my eyes, wincing at the sunlight coming from the windows. i look around and ask "where are we?" a voice comes from behind me saying "we're at the hotel." i recogonize that voice. that's his voice.

i get up quickly from whatever or whoever i was laying on. he smiles at me and says good morning. i feel heat creeping up onto my face. i just hope that it isn't noticeable.

"omg i am so sorry. i didn't realize i slept on u." i try to get myself together.

"oh no you're fine! just ask next time." he gives me that god damn smile, that smile that makes me heart and soul turn to mush and my brain stop. he gets out the car stretching his legs and i follow behind him.

i walk to the back where the trunk is. "hey thanks again mrs. [his last name]. i really appreciate u bringing me along on this trip."

his mom speaks up, turning to me. "of course! you and [his name] have been friends since you were in your diapers. you are just such a nice friend to him. you guys are just so cute! why wouldn't i bring you along?" she finishes the conversation, turning back to the now open trunk, taking all the luggage out.

cute? what does she mean cute? is she complimenting me? him? us?

i try to shake the thoughts away as i get my luggage. i'm walking next to his brother, staring at the floor. don't wanna trip on anything!

"you know," i hear him speak up, snapping out of my daze and looking in the direction of who's talking. "you and my brother are actually cute. i heard you and my mom talking earlier. you guys hang out with each other often and to be honest, lowkey act like you guys are dating. i remember this one time my mom asked me if he was dating you."

i blink at him. "what? we're friends. purely that. nothing more, nothing less. plus, i am almost certain he likes this one girl. he always talks about her. still don't know who but after multiple times he has described her, i'm sure it's this one girl in history."

he shrugs, turning his face forward. "i guess yeah. but you know, you never see what's going on in the inside, someone always sees it from the outside."

okay whatever that means. anyways, we walk into the hotel and it was something out of a movie. i don't travel far or long enough to stay in a hotel so being able to stay in a gorgeous hotel. best thing i think could ever happen to me.

his dad walks up to the front desk. "hello! welcome to our hotel. how may i assist you?" the front desk lady says.

"hi, i made a reservation for 4 days, 3 nights under the name [name]." clicks and clacks can be heard as she tries to find the room. "oh yes mr. [name]. i shall give you your keys. your room number is 402 on the 4th floor." she hands him 4 keys for all of us to have. "great thank you."

he turns to us, lecturing about how we can't lose this key or whatever.

"also, i know you guys were gonna complain about privacy or something so in our hotel room, there are two separate rooms. you'll see when we get there."

we drag our suitcases behind us, the noise echoing against the hallway as we get to the elevator. we get in and i'm the last one. i press the button since i'm the closest, looking out as the door closes. i look around the elevator, an awkward silence filling the air as we all wait for the-

ding.

the door opens out to another hallway filled with countless rooms. since our room is 402, it doesn't take long for us to get there. his dad uses his key to open the door to our new home for the incoming couple days.

he opens the door, everybody holding it for the next person to enter. [his name] is the last to enter, closing the door carefully as to not disturb the other guests.

"lemme show you kids what i was talking about earlier." he motions for [his name], his brother and me to follow him to a section in the room. i looked around the hotel room, observing what it looks like. definitely a bit dated but otherwise, not bad!

we all stop walking as his dad opens the door, leading to what seems like another hotel room, except it not being so big.

"me and your mom decided that since you guys are old enough and are angsty teenagers, we decided to let you have your privacy from me and your mother." his dad looks at me. "we trust you [your name] to keep these boys in check. you know how dirty their rooms can get."

his older brother speaks up immediatly after he says that. "hey, i'm older than both of them. why aren't i in charge?" he crosses his arms as he waits for his answer. "you always have clothes scattered along your floor in your room and when it comes to night, your really loud. what are you doing anyways, playing video games? i'm sure [your name] is much more tidy than both of you."

to be honest, you can be. at certain times. you can have a messy room, messier than what how his dad described [his older brother's name]. but you clean up after a week of leaving your room in a disaster.

"uh sure! you can trust me sir, i shall keep them in check." i jokingly put my hand up into a salute.

all three of us walk in as his dad leaves to go their mom. we look around and see two beds, a nightstand with a lamp in between the two, one dresser with a tv and a door against the wall, presumably the bathroom.

he speaks up as soon as we finish looking around. "wait dad, there's only two beds?" he looks back in the direction his dad walked in. his dad's head pops up from the wall, saying "oh yeah. you kids can share a bed."

he walks off because it's not a big deal. you three have known each other since birth probably. one problem however. i have a crush on [his name] and didn't notice until maybe a year ago. it's hard to keep it a secret since we all hang out a lot. i told my mom and based on his mom's comment earlier this afternoon, i'm pretty sure my mom told his mom.

i put my somewhere in the room, laying it down. i start unpacking and soon after, the boys start doing what i'm doing.

as we all do that, his brother says "just so you know [your name], i'm gonna have a bed all for myself. i don't feel like sharing, sorry not sorry." i look up at him, stopping what i'm doing. he has a playful smirk on his stupid face.

are u serious? don't tell me what this is what you're doing.

i try to respond but i'm truly at a loss of words. his comment about me and [his name]'s questionable friendship from earlier replays in my head. does he know? i mean if he didn't why else wouldnt he share a bed with his own brother?

heat rushes up to my face. i try not to think of the worse. "ugh, seriously? i don't wanna sleep in a bed with her?" "nah, i'm good." "uhh, i'd rather not."

all these awful scenarios fill my head but are interrupted be an all familiar voice.

"oh okay yeah that's fine. is that fine with you [your name]?" he looks at you with a smile. if you squint, you would see a slight hue of pink and red across his cheeks.

i stutter out "oh um yeah sure!" i try to push the heat that's making its way up my neck then to my face, down.

i carry my clothes and other belongings to one of the three drawers in the dresser, except for a pair of pajamas.

i go towards the bathroom but turn aroumd to both [his name] and his brother. "hey i'm gonna go put my pajamas on. i'll be back." i turn back around.

after i put my pajamas on, i open the door then closing it behind me. i look up to see that [his brother's name] his smiling and [his name] has his head in his hands, looking red from the parts of his face that aren't covered by his hands.

i stop walking and ask "did i miss something? what's wrong with him?" talking about [his name].

his brother responds "oh nothing. don't worry about it." once he responds, [his name] looks calm enough now to take his head out of his hands.

"uhh oooohhhh okay then." i go on my phone and get into the left side of the bed me and [his name] are sharing.

he abruptly gets up from the chair he was sitting on, goes to the dresser and picks out pajamas. "i'll be back." he walks to the bathroom and shuts the door. i look at his brother and he's just on his phone, as if what happened between his brother and him never happened.

i shrug it off. i don't want to make a big deal out of something that probably isn't anyways.

later on in the night, we're all in our pajamas. the door between our room and their parent's room is mostly closed, a small crack keeping it open. [his brother's name] is long gone and deep in sleep. didn't realize he was a loud snorer. wouldn't have agreed to this trip if i knew. my yawns starting to get more and more intense so i get up and turn the lights off as it's been a long day of getting here.

i'm on the verge of getting to dreamland when i feel a body touch my back ever so slightly. i jump slightly at the contact, relaxing as soon as i realize who it is.

"hey [your name]. i know you like me. my brother told me earlier when you were changing."

oh. my. god. there is no way this is happening. right now.

"oh did he?" i laugh awkwardly. i pinch myself in the arm under the sheets in hopes of his being a weird dream. or nightmare?

nope. definitely not a dream.

"yeah he did. and i like you too." he cuddles my body, his voice barely a whisper in hopes of no else hearing this.

i turn around at the comment. looking at his face. although it's dark, i desperately try to search his face for any signs of joking, lying, anything of that sort. all i see is the truth and if i were to squint hard enough, love.

"[your name]. i like you so much. i have for a long time now actually. i know this probably is a weird time but would you like to be my girlfriend?"

all the snoring, the ac running in the back, seems to have disappeared.

"are you serious? i would love to be your girlfriend!" i shuffle in my bed, trying to contain my excitement. i hug him and he lets out a sigh of relief and lowly chuckles.

"you have no idea how happy that makes me. how happy you make me."

i smile so much, it hurts.

"me too. but it's late. can we go to bed?"

he smiles. "of course sweetheart. goodnight."

i turn back around and he cuddles my body once again.

i'll kill his brother tomorrow but right now, i want to savor this moment.

author note: hello everybody! i hope you liked this little fic. it was not proofread so there may be mistakes. if there are ways i can improve my writing, do not hesitate to let me know! love you all and hope you have a wonderful day. :)

#love scenarios #romance #friends to lovers #crush x y/n #reader x crush #crush imagines #fictional crushes #one bed trope #no fandom #reader insert #gender neutral reader #relationship #x reader #fluff

[bunnieshoneys]

hi! i was wondering if you have any tips on planning long-format fics? i’ve read coanda effect twice (!) now and i am blown away by your writing & execution. everything just works so seamlessly! i usually have trouble writing anything past 15k and planning / outlining is so scary… anyway! truly love your fic and you are an incredible writer~~~

i can give you the rundown on how ive planned coanda effect, but honestly, this is just a hyperfixation, lol.

anyway, how i planned coanda:

i knew i wanted a dual narrative, with the younger versions of them growing up, and the main narrative, of gojo's year in g1. i then planned out a very brief timeline, by year, of them over the years with major events i wanted to cover.

then i pretty much fell into the format of: one race, one year per chapter. this has been changed as ive got further into 2013 and 2014, because those two years are very important and ive been planning a lot of scenes for that specific time period. the next chapter (20) in particular has moments that have been planned for a while.

i've said this before, but my main inspo for the dual narrative is from a klance fic called hearts don't break around here by klancekorner on ao3.

i picked a few themes/imagery bits i wanted to follow thru as i was writing. none of these were planned from the beginning, apart from the paralells between sukuna-kenjaku and gojo-getou and yuuji-megumi. the use of names was also planned.

its worth noting that i havent planned a lot of this fic, apart from the ending. i planned on writing around 150k. this fic will now probably be finished around the 250/280k mark. i know what the ending is. and ive been planning to get there. but most of everything else i write is on the spot, scenes devised to develop the characters to the versions of themselves i want them to be at the end of the fic.

it goes like this: i want to show getou's insecurity growing in his career and personal relationships in 2014. how do i do that? scene with yuki noticing his ED, and the scene with haibara where getou cannot comprehend a life beyond racing or an escape from the pervasive homophobia that has ruled his life so far. i hadnt planned those scenes, they just came out.

(also worth noting, i have adhd, a hyperfixation on f1, and a dream.)

i think focussing on planning, at least for me, takes away from my writing process. everyone works differently, of course, and for some, intricate planning helps. but for me, i barely plan at all. i just write, and the stuff that happens happens.

sorry if this is unhelpful, anon :( im not a particularly good example of how to write longform fic, i ultimately just wing it!

#fic: coanda effect #bunny answers