#any way they go back in time to seal Zetsu to see how much it stops or hinders from happening

[narutomaki]

thinking about orochimaru in a dress

I am unwell

#rotating this in my head #any way also rotating an uchiha in my head 2 generations removed from sasuke #who is just like. i want orochimaru to teach me. and everyone is like 😬 honey. are you sure #any way he goes back in time with orochimaru and fucks shit up while fixing it #tobiramas bitch ass better watch out. orochimaru WILL shame you for not knowing science from over 120 years in the future !!!!!! #my brain: haha funny crack ship. me cocking my gun: DO. NOT. #uchiha oc: im going back in time. orochimaru: .... i have got to see you fuck this up. #any way their both trans and uchiha oc really bonds with orochimaru and considers them like. a third parent lol. #Uchiha oc staring at Hashirama trying to contain then with Trees; ur not special *trees him back* #Orochimaru: we have been here. FOR FIVE MINUTES. #any way they go back in time to seal Zetsu to see how much it stops or hinders from happening #edit: is it unethical science if the person having it done to them consents and is also very enthusiastic about it? tobirama vs orochimaru #debate of the ages. hashirama is just like. but thats MY thing :^( (what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck whay the fu)

[rayshippouuchiha]

in writing another new Naruto AU and the idea is so long so imma send it in a series, but the basic premise is 'what if Isobu got stuck in a human form' so here we go: so the whole Kannabi Bridge incident still happens and Rin still gets Isobu stuck in her but the difference is that Kakashi got further Fuuinjutsu training from Kushina and so has A Plan. (1/?)

so Kakashi and Rin turn on the nin chasing them and so they've got a bit of time which Kakashi uses to make a seal that will release Isobu from Rin, but of course just a released Bijuu is No Good. its at this point that Obito gets to some overlook and sees all this happening (Zetsu realizes that this Might Have Backfired just too late) and jumps down, insert happy reunion and rushed explanation here, and Obito, whos been hearing about all this planning of Juubi Jinchuuriki and reincarnation (2/?)

reincarnation of Kaguya and such is like 'hm. HM.' and pitches this absolutely ABSURD idea to Kakashi and Rin.Rin, who, by this point, is Very Panicking, says SCREW IT and drags over a less-mutilated body which Kakashi, Tired and Relieved and All Those Other Things, just starts incorporating into the seal. Isobu, of course, is at least mildly aware of all this and is like PLEASE YES FIX THIS SHIT and, while he cant communicate with Rin, starts poking at her chakra systems for a way to (3/?)

to let this Actually Work without killing her. by the time the sun rises (Zetsu is watching because, while this might break something later, this is Interesting) the three have a big ol seal drawn in various people's blood, Isobu is doing his danged best to stay calm and Not freak out the kids any more than they already are, and Obito and Kakashi, as the ones with sealing knowledge here, are pretty sure this will work. but, well, time is running short, and with one stitched-up (4/?)

stitched-up and mostly healthy except for the being-dead part spare nin drawn into the seal along with Rin, they really cont lose much. so, with lots of good luck and a shitton of hope, they activate the seal. a few minutes, three very drained children, and a bored Zetsu later, the dead person's heart starts beating. Isobu takes these three overtired and near-dead kids back to Konoha with a lot of THANK THE FUKCING SAGE because nobodys dead (except for the ones Kakashi+co killed) (5/?)

explains a cover story (a la SFU Kurama) to the gate guards to be let in shenanigans ensue. so these three kids are the only ones who know that this rando Kumo nin (i think it was Kumo?) is actually a damn BIJUU IN A HUMAN and are like 'well... we can't really tell anyone...' but Kurama of course can probably sense Isobu being so near and is like 'uh, wtf' and Isobu tracks down Kushina and spills the beans. (6/?)

Kushina is like 'right, sure, alright give back the Jinchuuriki their body' and then Kakashi+co who have been PANICKING because Isobu disappeared to SOMEWHERE show up and are like ISOBU GOOD YOU'RE- oh hiiii Kushina-san, how are youuuuu... and Kushina's like 'oh you know this guy? cool theyre a Jinchuuriki and their Bijuu's apparently taken them over' and Kakashi+co explain, to a very disbelieving Kushina, that no, this is actually a Bijuu in a human, not a Jinchuuriki taken over by (7/8)

by a Bijuu, its fucking insane. Minato gets back from whatever mission it was to find his team has picked up a Kumo-nin as a sensei and is So Confused until its explained and then is just '...honestly good job but what the actual fuck' (8/8)

~~~

Oh this was an entire adventure

#RayRambles #Naruto #So I am beyond late but this is glorious

[lesbiankoby]

I’ve kinda been thinking about this recently: what do you think obito thinks of Konoha as an institution?

I ask this because I’ve been reading some time travel fix it fanfics and, while I don’t think it’s necessarily ooc of him to return to konoha after the talk-no-jutsu in the fourth war (even as much as I would like for him to not go back) I do think that maybe with his understanding of how hidden villages work (shadow mizukage) and experiences with having control over his life and actions (not ignoring the slave seal, just it seems like the moon-eye plan worked at his pace not, say, zetsus. And by control over life and actions I mean his ability to act as an independent operator and decide where he was going to go what he was going to do etc. without the orders of a chain of command which definitely exist in konoha (at least we don’t really know how the other villages, like kiri, are run)) he might not be able to go back to konoha more rigid/controlled life - or at least not comfortably.

I don’t know how coherent that is but hope if nothing else it is interesting :)

oh obito is incredibly jaded about and detests the nations-wide institution of shinobi, konoha included, that's canon lol. to him it's a system that does little but churn out garbage-- him and kakashi both. though he's also incredibly fatalist about uh The World In General and not just shinobi... post talk-no-jutsu he does regain his like general faith in humanity though yeah. his parting words were essentially a desire for kakashi and naruto to take charge of konoha and change the system in his place, at least that's how i read his desire to see kakashi take up his old dream as hokage...? its complicated bc a lot of shit happened at once and also he was dying but i think he has faith that at least the people he believes in can improve the world they live in...? the antithesis of his previous wish to completely destroy the current world.

granted, i need to reread fourth war arc and take notes or something, the nuances of obitos Thing right there are probably escaping me rn.

(also, like, the slave seal was a deterrent obito wasn't even supposed to know about, so while in TRUTH he never had any other choice except walking the path of madara in practical reality he was directing his own movements and doing his mastermind shit without input from anyone else except himself, really, so yeah he's used to uhm a degree of independence lol. zetsu doesn't seem to care unless he went off the rails which he didn't.)

ANYWAY. ANYWAY. if we are to take "time travel fix it" into account, like, the peggy sue "wake up in own body from the past" it really depends on where in the timeline he landed...? i don't think he'd be fucking pleased to be taking orders from konoha again regardless (though of course hes aware theres a lot of things he needs to make amends for personally and even deeper down he wishes he'd never "left" for a plethora of reasons) but if hes in his twenties again or whatever imo he is absolutely not going back there and will probably start Conniving(tm) outside of konoha's borders to benefit his friends in the capacity hes capable of and clean up his own messes and if he's like, twelve years old again (nightmare) i can... hmm, see him sticking around, unless he really gets pushed over the edge abt smth, maybe? its hmmm i don't think he actually hates minato but i fail to see much evidence he'd feel comfortable ever properly trusting the guy for the ways minato betrayed his trust and the way obito betrayed his. idk... obito has priorities (his friends) and he's a scheming schemer who schemes so hed wriggle into the position that best let him do what he wants. i think. take that as you will.

but yeah! obitos interesting to think about i really need to go back and actually take notes.

#probably torn between the parts of himself where he's no longer willing to compromise on his ideals and the #schemey pragmatist he became over the years maybe...? #hmmmm #SORRY PEGGY SUE SCENERIOS ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS

[domoz]

❄️ and ☔ ?

❄️From Healer Tobirama AU:

What's worse were the constant calls for peace. They were winning and they didn’t even want to fight, or so Hashirama kept claiming. In a convoluted way, this was their fault. If the Senju hadn't been so damn dominant no one would have dared to think of the Uchiha as weak. A former ally would never have targeted Madara's own little brother. If things continued like this, there wouldn't be any Uchiha left to punish them for it --  lost to death, or desertion or simple exhaustion as opportunistic enemies mounted on every side. In the end, the decision hadn't been nearly as complicated as Madara had been trying to make it. Accept peace. Give his clan a little breathing room. Do it before he lost everyone he cared about. Izuna might complain, say the Senju weren't to be trusted, but that would be a much harder argument to make if one of them managed to save his life.  And if he couldn't do it, if he betrayed them, it hardly mattered at this point. Madara would either lose everything, or he would not. And it all rested on the shoulders of one man.

☔Hahaha oh my god i have so many. I'll do a lightning round:

Young Iruka messes with the hirashin and ends up traveling back in time. He gets picked up by the Senju and tells them that the 9 tailed foxed destroyed his village (true). He gets into conflict and/or friendship and/or ship ship with Tobirama, based off of the fact that they're both learning sealing. (Tobirama is better, but Iruka is working with future knowledge)

I actually have so many time travel aus that I'm not sure I'll ever get into. 4th war tobirama time traveling back alone and not being able to release himself from edo tensei because he feels like his work is never done. Or Tobirama and Hashirama going back into their young bodies to try and save their brothers (which i wrote a one shot about. But there's More). Or Madara 'wins' the war but leaves tobirama out of eternal tsukuyomi to punish him and only realizes that he's been manipulated once everyone else has been eaten up by the god tree, and now tobirama is the only one who can go back with him (with some bonus tobiizu flavor where tobirama and izuna were kinda friends, but tobirama watched Izuna's descent into zetsu manipulation and blamed the uchiha clan for it).

Also a oneshot that is longer in my brain: the 'butsuma put a curse seal on tobirama' fic actually has a long angst fill version in my head where izuna notices some shit has changed + ends up kidnapping tobirama into his clan to keep him safe from his father.

That AU where Tobirama is handed over to the Fire Temple as a relatively young child. (To write how I'm imagining would require me to do a lot of research into Buddhism and Shinto, among other things and when I have SO MUCH that I want to write more I just don't see it happening, at least not for a long time)

HikaTobi fic that's just canon compliant pining and angst, where they're aware that they like each other but never act on it because of political reasons + guilt for liking someone from the other clan + ESPECIALLY guilt in Hikaku's case for liking the person who killed izuna. Hikaku asks Tobirama to come back safely during the first war, but he does not.

#oops! no writing tag #naruto blog for naruto things #thats not even. a fraction. HELP. #healer au #stray aus

[phoenixyfriend]

ok. karin vs anakin's genome being 50% the Force. go

Jesus fuck, okay. Uh, fair warning, I know very little about this subject, so it’s 90% bullshit. I am in no way qualified to talk about biology past the high school level.

Anakin's sixteen. He's part of a set of Jedi assigned to a weird mission regarding making contact with an isolated planet of near-humans with superpowers but no space travel. He doesn’t really have a Job here and now, he’s just there as Obi-Wan’s plus-one. There's an underlying plot about Sidious trying to acquire people from Ninja Land, but none of the Jedi are fully aware of it. Mostly they're distracted by all the ninjas and their bitching.

They call it the Shinobi Planet, because nobody can agree on a name for the planet when they ask and the last major international alliance was named after the shinobi profession, right? Good enough, you can change it later when you idiots can agree on literally anything, oh my god. The Samurai are very offended and it's a whole thing.

Anakin wanders a lot. He runs into various strange people and is mostly polite because, listen, half his friends are distinctly not human. When your immediate circle includes nautolans and besalisks and twi’leks and whatever the fuck Yoda is, you’re not gonna blink at a Hoshigaki or... uh... okay that kid just turned into a giant fox, is anybody gonna--no? That’s normal? Just him? Cool, cool, cool.

There’s a kage summit involved in the negotiations going on. IDK what’s being negotiated, probably something to get the ninjas to set up a singular spaceport so there’s somewhere to land WITHOUT ships being regularly shot down by village defense systems powered by that massive flaming purple skeleton warrior or the girl who punched down a mountain or the.. the literal desert? There’s a guy that can control the desert? Is there any way of keeping him away from Anakin?

(Gaara’s tickled pink that the reason someone wants to stay away from him has nothing to do with fear or respect for authority, and everything to do with ‘he is also from the desert and fucking hates it, so he’s staying away from the sand powers,’ because it’s very novel and kind of funny.)

ANYWAY where was I. Uh. Right, kage summit, lots of villages, they invite smaller villages to pitch in, but nobody ever ever ever wants Orochimaru anywhere near this situation, for hopefully obvious reasons, so Otogakure sends Karin.

Really, who else was it gonna be? Suigetsu? You want Suigetsu representing you on an interstellar political field? You want Juugo before he’s stabilized? You want Sasuke, master of ruining kage summits? You want these idiots representing you at the big kids’ table?

They send Karin. She’s a bitch with a temper, but at least she’s not as big of a political risk as... literally anyone else from the snakepit.

Anyway, Anakin wanders around, meeting people, trying foods, showing off when asked for demonstrations. He doesn’t have an Entire Protocol Droid, but he did cobble together a little floating helper that can do translations for him. Assume all translations are accurate and being done by the little helper bot. Bot’s name is G1-0T. Anakin calls it Glot.

He runs into Karin at one point, who’s not super into the whole situation, but at least Anakin’s interesting. She’s not interested in him, because he’s sixteen and she’s like... mid-twenties. And his hair is stupid. But! All these force-sensitive people feel weird to her, because sensor stuff, and it’s not chakra but it’s... something. Anakin is, of course, the weirdest.

(There are non-sensitives in the envoy, so she knows it’s not just a space thing.)

She strikes up a conversation about it, because hey, she hasn’t made it this far to not lean into... you know, being the kind of person who barges ahead with Weird Questions that might lead into fun science stuff.

Anakin is like. Well. This woman’s very strange, but it’s not like there’s anything against talking about midichlorians to random people. It’s easy enough to look up in the core. Not everyone knows about them, but it’s not a secret or anything.

“Wow,” Karin says, though not in so many words, “that sounds incredibly strange, and actually a lot like it functions completely differently from chakra, though maybe it intersects with nature chakra somehow. Can I take a blood sample?”

Anakin doesn’t want to give a blood sample to a stranger. Karin isn’t stupid enough to try to steal one. She’s seen what this Force Stuff can do, and this kid’s got a lot of it. She hasn’t got enough information on hand about it to know if he’d notice.

“How about I let you look at the blood of a guy that can turn into water?” Karin asks, because she’s not going to let him look at her blood. “I’ve got it with me.”

“...why?” Anakin asks, reasonably disturbed.

“He owes me,” she says, and does not elaborate.

“What, there’s nothing weird about your blood to share?” Anakin demands, like the ornery little bastard he is.

“People took my blood against my will for over a decade,” Karin says, with the kind of smile that threatens a stabbing. This is not secret information. Her healing factor is in the bingo book. Plenty of people still want her dead. “Nobody gets my blood except me.”

Anakin has no idea what to do with that answer. Most people wouldn’t know what to do with that answer. It’s not exactly a standard answer.

“So there is something weird about your--e chu ta what the fuck are those scars?”

Karin looks at her arm. She looks back at him. She raises an eyebrow.

“What do you think they are?”

He stares a little longer, and then very carefully does not say anything as she pushes her sleeve back down.

“So can I look at your blood?” she asks again.

“Uh--”

“You can look at mine under a microscope,” she wheedles. “You can’t take any, though.”

Anakin... does eventually agree. Eventually.

-----------

There is a very angry redhead yelling at a machine, and Anakin does not know what to do.

“Is something wr--”

“What the fuck is your blood?” she demands. “It’s glowing in ultraviolet. It burned the dye up. I tried to sequence your genome--”

“Woah, I did not agree to that.”

“--and look at this. Look at this!”

“I don’t know how to read your graphs. None of this is a language I know.”

“It’s garbage,” she hisses at him. Glot takes a few moments to process it. “Look at this. This is supposed to--fuck, where’s the Jiraiya file, he’s standard--this is what it’s supposed to look like for most humans with chakra. And this is a civilian, and a few bloodline users--”

“Do you just carry these around with you?”

“Shut up, you don’t exist. You have--you have more in common with summons than people. I ran a blood test on one of your human diplomats, the ones that aren’t monks--”

“When did they agree to that?”

“They didn’t, I’m just sneaky.”

“I should tell Obi-W--”

“STAY THERE, I’M NOT DONE YELLING YET. Do you see this? Do you see this shit? This is the one and only time I’ve managed to perform any kind of analysis on a bijuu. They don’t usually have blood. Shukaku is sand. Matatabi is literally just fire. This was almost impossible to make happen, but I did it because I’m a dedicated biomedical resea--”

“Because you’re unhinged.”

“--rcher, and you know what? You know what I’ve found?”

“What?”

“Your blood looks like you’re half demon,” she says, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking, a little wild-eyed and clearly pissed at him. “Half of it’s human! Half of it looks like the non-physical chakra manifestations that were torn-apart remnants of a godlike demon. The fuckers can’t die. They also can’t breed. They don’t have reproductive organs! This isn’t just demon-tainted like a jinchuuriki, I’ve got that analyzed--”

“Why?”

“Because my cousin’s a moron, don’t change the subject. You--you shouldn’t exist. Your blood is stupid. Fuck, is this what I’d find if I analyzed the Sage of the Six Paths?”

“The what?”

She ignores him, frowning at papers. “Is--I need to call Haruno, she might still have some of Kaguya’s blood dried on her old gloves from the war, I know she kept those as a souvenir from the whole ‘punched a god’ thing.”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

“There was a thing a few years back, godlike alien demon princess who got sealed into a moon by her sons a thousand years ago, but her immortal sentient goo child brought her back with a giant tree that consumed all the tailed beasts-the flaming fox you saw earlier is one of them--and then used a giant eyeball to reflect off the moon to put everyone in a hallucination at the same time so she could eat our life-forces,” Karin dismisses. “It’s not important.”

“There is--what?”

Jedi see many things. Many of those things are very strange.

This is a little much even for Anakin.

“It’s over, if you want the actual details, talk to my idiot cousin,” she huffs. “But now I need to run comparisons between the actual nonsense that is your entire existence and the actual nonsense that is my cousin’s existence, and maybe Sasuke’s... fuck this is going to be a mess, I’m going to have to cross-reference all the clans with bloodlines we know are derived from Kaguya, she’s the only angle we have on gods like that, unless... maybe there’s still some black Zetsu goo somewhere... Orochimaru must have kept a sample...”

“Uh, can I--can I go? I’m not comfortable here.”

“I need to find Naruto so he can call the Sage of the Six Paths out of the afterlife so I can see if I can get blood from a ghost to compare to yours.”

#Anakin Skywalker #Uzumaki Karin #Karin #Karin Uzumaki #Naruto #star wars #mini fic #Phoenix Posts #Phoenix Answers Asks #this is so stupid and I have no idea what I'm talking about #bijuu don't even have blood but Anakin's has more in common with THEM than with humans

[sanjuno]

Meta Fic rides again

I'm a little stuck on how to word something in my Nano 2020 project so I decided to take a break by trying to read “Scum Villain’s Self Saving System” again and failed horribly because I got to the part when Binghe comes back and my interest died a quick and messy death for yet a third time. Someone write me a giant pile of gen-fic and LiuShen AUs to heal my heart.

Here, I’ll start us off:

Spite and Fury (or; PEDW is a hive of Scum and Villainy)

So bitter-old-man!Madara dies of old age after he passes his Epic Revenge Plot over into Obito’s keeping, and the Sage’s knockoff-brand cycle-of-transmigration peels Indra’s chakra out of Madara’s soul - which results in dying!Madara having a screaming ragefit that sends his spirit-and-chakra careening through the void between worlds

At which point shattered-and-fragmenting-more!Madara gets into an altercation with the System and since the System is a little bitch it tosses Madara into the worst possible Fate it can think of (see: PEDW)

Transmigration bullshit and Sharingan fuckery smash into each other in a gigantic clusterfuck of asspulls

Madara is missing bits because Indra’s imprint got ripped out

The Shen Jiu base soul is missing bits because torture and previous abuse of his character by the System

The resulting villain amalgamation is Not Pleased

Instead of landing in the divergence point chosen by the System - aka the Qi deviation fever shortly after Binghe arrives at Cang Qiong Sect – we instead have the jigsaw puzzle mashup of Mads-and-Jiu land in baby-slave Jiu’s body

The good news is Madara and Jiu stop fragmenting because they end up woven together - they’re stuck together as an almost-single person only with two different sets of memories

Character exploration is going to be an EVENT

Also the Madara part of them is really happy with the silky smooth hair

Also Yue “lets-Binghe-kill-him-because-he-thinks-Shen-Jiu-is-dead” Qi is cast is a much better light when compared to Senju “stabs-his-sworn-brother-in-the-back” Hashirama

So Mads-Jiu plays it close to canon for the first few years - the only real difference is that he tags his Jiejie with a tracking seal for after he escapes from slavery - he’s not leaving his ability to find her again up to chance or developing a reputation as a whoremonger if he can help it

When he gets bought by the Qiu is when Mads-Jiu starts being a manipulative little shit like we all know he is

Xanatos-pileup-or-bust!Mads-Jiu basically lets Yue Qi escape alone because he NEEDS Yue Qi to become Cang Qiong Sect Leader for his long-term plans to work properly

So Mads-Jiu warns Yue Qi that if he has to be CAREFUL because cultivating is dangerous and if Yue Qi comes back missing any pieces then Jiu will cut the EXACT SAME BITS OFF HIMSELF

And so Yue Qi is EXTREMELY safety conscious and the life eating sword drama is avoided entirely

Of course he’s also taking longer to reach his initial strength levels than in canon because he isn’t rushing

So there’s nothing like Yue Qi showing up early to trigger a plot divergence alert in the System

</mwahahaha>

Mads-Jiu is more pragmatic regarding Qiu Haitang’s so-called innocence this time around - and so he arranges for her to catch the Creeper Qiu bro abusing and assaulting Shen Jiu

Haitang is HORRIFIED AND DISGUSTED to see what her brother is doing to her fiancé and also TERRIFIED by the fact that he talks the entire time about how sweet it’s going to be when it’s HAITANG under him

The Qiu burn on schedule but Haitang kills her fair share - double Qi deviations FTW!

The system does not notice such a minor change in the background events - Jiu kills the Qiu, burns down their house, and Haitang survives the fire with vengeance raging in her heart

Mads-Jiu kills the demonic creeper that was hanging around because ew no and also keep your hands of Haitang

Again, it’s too close to canon for the System to notice - Jiu killed him in defense of a “childhood friend” so hahaha again

Instead of being used as a stalking horse by an evil master Mads-Jiu runs off with Haitang to track down and rescue his Jiejie

Shenanigans ensue

Afterwards Mads-Jiu “has an idea to help find Qi-ge” by asking around for him at the Immortal Alliance Conference

Of course there are more shenanigans and Yue Qi saves all three by claiming that they’re Cang Qiong disciples - so of course he drags all 3 of them back with him and wibbles at the current Sect Leader until he lets them all join

Still (mostly) following canon! Ha! So no “punishment” events get triggered in the System (which is mostly dormant because the Protagonist isn’t born yet XP)

Qiu Haitang was supposed to join a Sect! Jiejie got sold on schedule! Shen Jiu killed the Qiu and his “first master”! Yue pesters his Shizun into letting his sibling(s) join the Sect in an unorthodox fashion!

But the devil is in the details

And the devil’s name is Uchiha Madara

Jiejie ends up as Peak Lord for Talisman Peak because magic and seals saved her before

Haitang ends up Peak Lord for Hidden Peak because she refuses to be caught unawares by a dangerous secret ever again... also because she’s a mean sneaky bitch and owns it

Having more than one sibling for the Sect Leader to blatantly favour means less wholesale resentment directed at Mads-Jiu as well

However the Jiu part of them has memories from PIDW and also SVSSS - so he knows that shit is going to get horrible once Su Xiyan gets knocked up

Obviously the answer is to seduce all of his fellow peak lords into a glorious polyamorous clusterfuck so as to promote skinship and pack bonding and harmony among the sect leadership

(It worked for PIDW Binghe with his wives and SVSSS Shen Yuan with getting Bing-mei to chill his tits after all and nobody can trip you into bed quite like a shinobi)

And so Cang Qiong’s family aesthetics get rocked so hard that instead of panting after his Shizun baby disciple Binghe decides to seduce his peers...

... and his rivals

... and other sect’s disciples

... and the occasional demon

Mads-Jiu is really proud of his baby demon lord but makes sure not to single Binghe out - instead every Qing Jing disciple gets rewarded and punished at the same time

It promotes bonding! And teamwork!

And prevents the utter destruction of Mads-Jiu’s chrysanthemum via oversized demonic pillar!

There is totally going to be an extra where Mads-Jiu realizes that the average size of a male cultivators pillar is DANGEROUSLY EXCESSIVE

NOBODY NEEDS THAT MUCH PILLAR

Even HIS pillar hasn’t escaped the curse

BIGGER IS NOT BETTER!

How the fuck is he supposed to fight if he can’t even wear pants comfortably!?!?

(No wait come back Mu-shidi this shixiong is sorry it wasn’t mockery it was a perfectly reasonable tantrum that was a long time coming now stop sulking your dick is very pretty let shixiong make it up to you~)

And at some point there will be a wild Bing-ge who appears to cause trouble with a mirror that’s intended to temporarily transform people into the form of their last life - he aims it at the native Bingbing to get him out of the way so he can steal the “nice” Shizun

It would have been Pom time for Bingbing but Mads-Jiu pushes him out of the way

And cue giant explosion of dark Qi as a bonus expansion pack of Madara’s 10-tail Jinchuriki time with powers-and-memories gets downloaded into Mads-Jiu

Mads-Jiu the “Heavenly Demon Demi God” drops several mountains worth of flaming meteor rock on the invaders and then goes on a giant flaming skeleton rampage against Bing-ge

... Bing-ge has changed his mind he doesn’t want this Shizun take him back and oh gods the shrieking

How does he shriek so loud? Doesn’t he need to breathe?

... ok so Shizun breathes fire that’s good to know

Whelps time to bravely run away

And then the amassed sects need to figure out how to calm down the rampaging hell beast

The youngest Qing Jing disciple is brought out and told to cry for Shizun

Actually-a-broody-hen!Mads-Jiu whips around and starts fussing over his baby student

Because baby why are you crying stop it tell Shizun who hurt you and he will BURN THEM TO ASH

The last bit I have an idea for involves Mads-Jiu getting yanked though dimensions because Edo Tensei where he instantly twigs to what is going on and pushes the “righteous cultivator” skin to maximum strength

He shoves all the baby ninja behind him and keeps barrier spamming the zombie army - because ew no stay away from the children resentful corpses

Zetsu is included in the zombie army shall not pass smack down

Zombie!Tobirama is appalled because wut? Wasn’t this supposed to be Madara’s zombie? What is happening?

And I dunno something where he “notices” the resentful energy surrounding Danzo because stealing the eyes of the people you murdered is bad karma

So Mads-Jiu does a spirit thing and the ghosts of the Uchiha rips Danzo apart while screaming about his guilt in full view of the entire Village

And then Mads-Jiu goes home because filial little Bingbing came to get him and he’s not enjoying upending the shinobi social order nope not at all whom exactly do you take him for?

... Yes he’s done and ready to go back to his spouses now he’s sure the ninja have all learned better than to raise living corpses now anyway

The end

=/=

#Sanjuno's ficwork #fic I haven't written yet #Spite and Fury #PEDW is a hive of SCUM and VILLIANY #Madara and Jiu are sharing a body #System done fucked that revenge plot up #Villain Team Up cranked to 111 #sanjuno's metafic #NRT x SVSSS

[silverskatana]

up in the clouds

word count: 2326

author’s note: i know it’s very short but i was just in a sad mood & felt like writing a very short sad thing && i know it’s kinda rushed but. just a self-indulgent sad fic, enjoy :p

(one.)

“I’m sorry.” His uncovered eye bores into yours, and his voice falters a little, tinged with regretful uncertainty. “I just - I just don’t feel the same.”

You brush a hand through your hair, trying to maintain that same poker face you swear you’ve long mastered. It gets too difficult, though, so you settle for a laugh instead, hoping he doesn’t pick out the way the corners of your lips refuse to turn upwards. “That’s okay.” You shrug, a masterful masquerade of nonchalance, and hope he buys it. “I wasn’t really expecting much more, anyway.”

His gaze softens, and he shifts, the dried leaves crunching under his sandalled feet. “I’m sorry.”

You laugh. Again. “That’s okay.”

And you’re not lying, or so you tell yourself - you were more than certain that the silver-haired Jounin did not harbour feelings (not romantic ones, anyway) towards anyone, and you weren’t optimistic enough to dream of any miracles occurring.

“Then, if you don’t mind me asking,” he says, eyebrow raised, and you focus your attention back to him, “Why did you still tell me?”

A wry smile plays on your face, and the laugh that leaves your lips is more genuine this time. “I figured that since we’re going to war, if I end up dying, I’d rather tell you before I die.”

You’re unable to read the expression written across his features, aside from mild confusion, but then again, Hatake Kakashi has always been an extraordinarily difficult person to read. 

Your friend of several years sighs. “I won’t let you die.”

“It’s a war, Kakashi.” You shrug. “You won’t be able to protect everyone, you know.”

You begin to shuffle through the path overlain with fallen leaves, training your eyes to the ground, and you’re about to take your leave when Kakashi calls out to you again.

“I won’t let you die.”

You smile.

“You can’t be there to save everyone all the time, Kakashi.”

(two.)

“Please leave.” Your voice, while quiet, cuts through the silence, falling like an uncomfortably heavily blanket between the two of you.

Kakashi’s eyes - his Sharingan uncovered - narrow slightly. Behind you, you hear the distant sound of muffled shouts and muted explosions, and you tense. “We don’t have much time,” you force out tersely, “Please go back to your duties and I’ll go back to mine. This is war, Kakashi.”

“I know it’s war.” He leans against the trunk of the tree he’s currently perched up on, arms crossed, and you feel a spark of annoyance at his clear refusal to comply. “That’s why I’m here.”

“I’m a medic and you’re one of the front-line warriors.” You avoid his gaze, fitting a scowl onto your features instead. “You need to go and help them.”

“Things weren’t like this before.”

Your head jerks up and you stare at him, caught off guard, and he stares right back at you, his impassive black eye contrasted against his spinning red. You can hear your heart in your throat, and you swallow thickly, your words coming out uneven. “What are you talking about?”

“We weren’t like this before.”

Your words are bitter, scorching. “There is no we.” You see the way he flinches, but you bite your tongue, too stubborn to apologize for your words.

“Look, if this about that day-”

“Let’s just forget it, okay?” you snap, your voice unintentionally sounding rougher and angrier than you intended. You can’t let him see the way it still affects you; you can’t let him see the way you’re trying so hard to pretend everything’s all okay. You can’t let him see the way you’re failing, the way you’re dying on the inside, the way you have so much to say that you can no longer bring yourself to voice.

You can’t let him know the way he broke your heart, the way he tore it apart in the kindest of ways. And you can’t let him know that it’s not okay, that you fear it’ll never be the same again.

“I don’t want to lose you like how I lost Obito. And Rin.”

Standing there, the thick leaves casting overhung shadows across his haunted expression, Kakashi looks the most lost you have ever seen him.

Tears sting at the back of your eyes.

“Go,” you say, but your voice cracks, and as your watery gaze meets his, you know he knows.

“I’m not leaving you here alone,” he says quietly.

You’ve been friends with Kakashi for long enough to hear the plea in his voice.

Can’t we just surrender?

Your throat burns.

No.

You take a step back, away from him, and he watches as you move, a look of defeat crossing his facial features as the words leave your mouth.

“Please go,” you whisper.

He gazes at you, Sharingan spinning, a long look; and then he complies.

In the next moment, he’s gone.

(three.)

You skid to a halt, your breathing laboured, your gaze flicking from left to right. You’re surrounded.

“What an interesting catch.” You stiffen at the disembodied voice that echoes through the thin air, instinctively reaching for a kunai.

“What do you want with me?” You manage to keep your voice steady as you eye the ones around you warily - the one standing in front is a reincarnation, with trademark dark eyes contrasted against his long white hair, and the others surrounding you are clones of who you remember as White Zetsu.

“I think you know why we’re here.” One of the White Zetsu’s - you can’t tell who - chuckle, “You’re a rather valuable medic, and the enemy having good medics is never a good thing.”

The clones don’t look like they will do anything aside from preventing your escape; you observe the opponent before you, a frown settling upon your lips. You don’t even know who he is, but considering that he was reincarnated, it must mean that he’s strong. As strong as you, or stronger. 

I guess maybe this is the part where I have to say goodbye.

And then you charge, and so does he.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. You figure out his special ability soon enough, considering how he immediately parries your flurry of kunai with bones that protrude out of his palms. His ability to manipulate his bones, combined with his regeneration abilities due to the reincarnation technique, births an almost impenetrable defence, and you click your tongue in irritation as your strategies fail one after another to inflict any significant damage on him.

“Now,” he speaks, his voice monotonous and detached as he neatly deflects another barrage of weapons flying in his direction, “Is it my time to dance?”

You swallow harshly, ignoring the acrid tang of fear that rises in your oesophagus.

“So it seems.”

You weave through hand-seals at the same time as him, and you release a storm of fire as he finishes his final hand-seal.

All around you, the world lights up in orange and white.

And, you realise as your opponent emerges amidst the orange, a crazed tint in his eyes, a grotesque mixture of melted skin and protruding bone, you’re up against a monster.

A sword made out of bone pierces you in the chest, narrowly missing your heart, and it takes all you have to force chakra through your veins at an accelerated rate for self-regeneration as you spit out blood.

A small, rueful smile crosses your lips.

You really aren’t going to make it, after all.

The white-haired man draws the sword back, its ivory tip stained a deep crimson red, and you can see the amused mockery in his eyes as he lunges forward at an angle, clearly expecting you to dodge.

You don’t.

You see the shock reflected in his expression as you allow the sword made of bone to pierce through your lower abdomen, the metallic tang of blood thick and asphyxiating in your mouth, and you part your lips to allow the wet red liquid to spill down your skin and along your chin.

You raise your arms, ignoring the way your hands tremble, ignoring the excruciating pain that shoots through you with every move. “An eye for an eye… A tooth for a tooth,” you breathe out with a crooked smile, beginning to weave through a set of hand-seals with practised ease, albeit a lot slower than usual.

White Zetsu is the one to realise what exactly you’re planning to do.

Kimimaro, she’s going to seal you away.

So that’s his name.

Kimimaro.

He hears White Zetsu, and you wince as he pulls the sword out of your already damaged body, your chakra coils overworking as you attempt to patch yourself back together as fast as you can. From the corner of your eye you see a flash of white as he aims directly for your heart, and you dimly think, I won’t be able to move away fast enough.

Blood.

Fresh red, wet, thick.

It settles against your skin and runs trails like tears down your cheek, and your eyes stare vacantly ahead of you, where Kimimaro is frozen in his spot, his hollow expression a reflection of yours.

You begin to cry.

“Why are you here?” you croak out, the loss of blood making it hard to think straight, or speak. “You’re not… supposed to…”

“Seal him now,” Kakashi utters, “And we can talk later.”

With shaking hands, you force yourself to weave through the hand-seals, your vision blurry and your heart sunken to the bottom of your chest. Kimimaro glares at you, his gaze full of hatred and resentment, but he’s unable to move from where he’s been stabbed through the chest by Kakashi’s Chidori.

And with an uneven breath, you land on the final hand-seal.

Just like that, it all comes to an end.

Kimimaro is gone.

And with him, the bone that is pierced through Kakashi’s abdomen.

You collapse next to the silver-haired ninja, forcefully drawing your already-exhausted chakra reserves, and the tears continue to spill from your cheeks as your bloodied hands glow green against Kakashi’s skin.

“You don’t have to waste your chakra on me,” he says gently, and you shake your head mutely, forcing yourself to continue trying, drawing chakra from reserves that don’t even exist, the green around your palms flickering like a dying flame.

“Why did you come,” you choke out, “I told you not to come.”

He turns his head to look at you, and in that moment you see everything you’ve ever seen in him; your best friend since you were old enough to know the concept of friendship. Your protector, the one who watched over you whenever the world was on fire. The shoulder you cried on, the one who was there for you each and every time it all came crashing down. The only person you’ve ever loved, and the person you love the most in the world.

And now, you’re losing him.

He’s dying, and you can’t do enough to heal him.

You don’t even have the strength in your body to cry anymore.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you die,” he responds, and even in his weak breaths, you hear the ghost of his smile.

“You should have,” you whisper, and the green of your hands is dangerously light now. “It should have been me.”

“I’m just glad,” he tells you, and you stare at him with your heartbeat ringing in your ears, “I finally managed to save a life.”

The green colour grows a little more intense again. Your entire body is quivering now, bloodied and torn, and your chakra coils more than overextended. “You can’t leave me here alone.”

“One day…” He reaches out and traces faint patterns across your hand, and you bite your lip as you register that this may be the last time you ever feel his touch.

You commit it to memory.

“... We’ll meet again in the sky, so until then-” He tilts your head so that you’re staring into his eyes, and from the spinning of his Sharingan, you have the faint inkling that he’s memorizing the final image of you.

So you put on your best smile for him.

He smiles too.

“- I’ll watch over you from up in the clouds, okay?”

The tears begin to fall again. The smile stays the same.

“Okay,” you say.

His gaze softens. “Until then.”

“Until then,” you echo.

The green lining your palms flickers, and then fades.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi whispers to you, his eyes curving into a smile, silhouetted by the fading glow of the setting sun, and all around you, it’s silent except for the faint touches of leaves onto the ground.

It’s so beautiful, in the most heartbreaking of ways.

Kakashi’s blood is warm against your skin when he collapses into your arms, and you let yourself cry into his shoulder as you hold him close to you, wrapping your arms tight around him, feeling his heartbeat slow in his chest and his breathing go shallow.

And then you feel his heartbeat again, a gentle thud.

And then you can’t feel it anymore.

And then you feel him drawing a breath again, slow and gentle.

And then he doesn’t draw another.

The world is so beautiful, you think, your eyes cast upon the gentle illumination of swaying leaves and crystalline skies bathed in sunset light.

The world is so beautiful on the day that Kakashi dies.

But, you think to yourself, left alone with only the sound of your own heartbeat, the feeling of yourself drawing breath after breath, your world has suddenly become so dull-coloured, a broken canvas painted across in monochrome shades.

You think of Kakashi, of the smile in his voice, of the look on his face. 

I hope you’re happier there, you think, allowing yourself to collapse, your body hitting the bloodstained ground, your eyes fluttering shut. With Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei.

I hope it doesn’t hurt anymore.

Let’s meet again someday, up in the clouds.

#hatake kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi #angst #naruto reader insert

[justagirlwithapen32]

Wrong

The sight of her lying in a pool of her own blood was wrong.

“No!”

Two pairs of yellow eyes turned to look at her, one narrowing in confusion, the other in anger. “Kill her!” the angry one hissed.

Immediately white zetsu sprang at her, but Sakura easily took them down. In her grief and rage, she flung herself at the two black zetsu, hands forming a complex series of seals that imbued chakra into her hands, which she then funnelled into a katana. With one flash of the blade, the two were sliced in half, only to be drawn into the blade, which was actually a quietly famous sealing blade.

“No!”

It was the black zetsu’s turn to cry out in denial, and they both did, even as they were sealed away. Once it was done, the blade fell limp from Sakura’s hands, and she rushed over to the woman who lay upon the ground, bleeding out. Her life force was slowly ebbing away, and the pinkette realised that there was no way she could save her life, her chakra was too low, and her reserve was gone from all the fighting, thanks to the two black zetsus.

“No,” she denied a second time, this one as a whisper that could barely be heard. “Naruto… How can Naruto be born now? Wrong… Everything’s gone wrong!”

Sakura sobbed, clinging to Kushina’s hand. “I am sorry, Haruno Sakura,” a voice spoke, and she looked up to see the almost ghostly form of the Sage of Six Paths before her.

“You sent me back here,” she spoke as she wept. “You sent me here to stop zetsu from altering the past his way, and I have. But… Naruto…”

The Sage sighed, and she could detect a hint of sadness in his expression. “I truly am sorry,” he said. “I did not foresee this as a possibility. I knew that my son Ashura would reincarnate, but I was certain it would always be as Naruto.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Sakura begged. “There… there’s still a slight pulse, and…”

“Uzumaki Kushina’s spirit no longer resides within her,” the Sage said. “And any moment now, the last impulses of chakra in her system will disappear, and her body will expire. Then, Kurama will be released into the world’s natural chakra, to reform in a number of years.”

Sakura’s tears were renewed, and she wept once more for her sunshine friend and team mate who would now never exist. “Is there… really no way?” she asked in a grief stricken whisper.

“There is no way to bring her spirit back from the pure lands,” the Sage told her. “The only way to ensure Uzumaki Naruto’s conception now, would be if another soul was bonded to Kushina’s instead.”

Sakura looked up at him, tears halting their flow. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Haruno Sakura, your time here is limited, you know that,” the Sage said, and Sakura nodded in acknowledgement. “You cannot be in existence when you would be born in this time, I have already told you that. It was intended that I would send you back to where you came from, to restore balance with your spirit in the future. But instead, there is something else I can do. It will not prevent your existence in this time line, and will ensure Uzumaki Naruto’s own existence. Are you willing to do this?”

Sakura nodded immediately. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it,” she said decisively.

“I can bind your soul to Kushina,” the Sage said. “Essentially, you would become her. Her memories would become yours, her life would become your life. Your body would expire, would transition back into the chakra of the world, much as Kurama’s would, or any of my other children, were they to be released via death from their hosts. Kushina’s soul might be gone, but you would live on in her stead.”

Sakura was gaping at him, at the connotations of such a thing. But then she closed her mouth and thought quickly but seriously on it. Finally, she nodded and said, “What do I have to do?”

“Pour every last bit of your healing chakra into Kushina,” the Sage instructed. “It would not do to transfer your soul, only to have you die anyway from these injuries. Once you have exhausted your chakra, I will take it from there.”

Sakura nodded, then flared the remainder of her chakra, getting to work at healing the worst of Kushina’s injuries. Naruto, she kept thinking. For Naruto. She would do anything for him, for her team… Sasuke, Kakashi, Yamato, and Sai too. Her shishou, her friends… She poured everything she had into healing, knowing that even with what she had left, it would only be a patch until either a medic came along, or Kurama regained the strength to heal his host.

…Which would be her soon enough.

It didn’t take long, and soon, Sakura’s chakra was sluggish, stuttering in and out of life. Her vision swam, she felt herself fading out of existence, and the last thing she saw was the Sage above her, hand seals formed, then there was nothing.

OoOoO

He was desperate to find her.

While fighting those strange creatures, he’d lost track of Kushina. The last he’d seen of her, she’d chased after that kunoichi who’d been working with the Hokage for the last several months on some top secret mission, a mission he had the feeling had culminated in tonight’s battle. Minato couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Kushina knew what had been going on, but then dismissed that thought.

Taking a deep breath, he concentrated his senses. He couldn’t find the pink haired kunoichi, but he found Kushina. Her chakra… it was incredibly weak! Minato shunshined in her direction, unable to use hiraishin, as there were no markers where he could sense that Kushina was. When he arrived, his heart stopped at the sight before him.

“No no no no no!” he denied, rushing to her side. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt her pulse. “Kushina! Kushina, can you hear me? Please…”

She stirred lightly and her eyes fluttered open briefly. “Naruto?” she whispered questioningly, her voice wavering slightly.

Minato chuckled lightly. “Trust you to think of ramen at a time like this,” he said, relieved, trying to help her up.

Kushina looked up at him in confusion, wincing sharply at a pain that alerted him to the fact that she was still really, really hurt. She looked like she didn’t understand what he was saying, and Minato resisted biting his lip in worry. A moment later, the confusion cleared and she looked around, then down at her hands. Kushina pulled a strand of her her hair out into view, her eyes wide at the sight of it.

“It worked,” she whispered, then winced further, grasping at her side.

It was then Minato saw the blood.

“We have to get you to the hospital,” he said, gathering her into his arms. He held her tightly to him. “I thought I lost you for a moment there,” he whispered into her hair. “Please don’t do that again.”

Kushina nodded against his chest, but before he could get moving to the hospital, she cried suddenly, “Wait! The katana!”

She was wriggling in his grip, trying to get out of his grasp, no matter that it was causing her pain. “Stop!” he begged. “You’re going to hurt yourself further. What katana are you talking about?”

Kushina pointed down towards one that was on the ground. It looked vaguely familiar to him, but he didn’t know why. Minato opened his mouth to ask why she wanted it, but then the Hokage and two ANBU appeared.

“Minato, Kushina,” the Sandaime greeted them. “Have you seen Sakura?”

Sakura…? Right, the kunoichi. Minato shook his head, but Kushina said, “She’s gone. The katana… it’s there. It’s… it’s done, Hokage-sama, she asked me to tell you that.”

“Where did she go?” one of the ANBU asked.

Kushina shrugged. “Her body vanished into nothingness,” she said.

The Hokage looked troubled at this. He seemed about to ask Kushina more questions, but Minato spoke up then. “Hokage-sama, could this wait?” he asked. “Kushina needs a medic.”

“Of course, of course,” the Sandaime said. “Get her seen to. I will speak to you later on this, Kushina.”

Minato nodded and utilised his hiraishin to get them to the hospital.

OoOoO

Namikaze Kushina, nee Uzumaki, stood in front of an empty grave, one that had been set aside for ‘Sakura’. It had been a few years now since she’d woken in the vivacious red head’s body, but Sakura had adjusted. She was ‘Kushina’ now. After a few weeks, she’d caved and told the Hokage what had happened. He was shocked, but also touched by her willingness to make the sacrifice to ensure her best friend would exist.

They’d both agreed to never tell Minato, and maybe that was unfair, but…

Awkwardly leaning down, she placed a bouquet of flowers on the grave, the meaning behind the flowers deliberate. Consistency, sacrifice, love, friendship, and honour. She rubbed her belly where Naruto was already growing, and she smiled at the thought that her sunshine would be here soon, only two and a half months away.

Sakura closed her eyes, Kushina’s eyes, and offered up a silent promise to the woman whose life had been cut prematurely short, that she would look after her family. That Minato would be loved, Naruto would be loved, and that there would be no need for anything so drastic in the future as time travel to make sure that the world kept turning.

With a smile on her face, she turned and headed out of the cemetery to meet with Mikoto, who’d only recently come out of the hospital, and would have Itachi and newborn Sasuke with her.

#haruno sakura #uzumaki kushina #minato namikaze #MinaSaku #minakush #sage of six paths #zetsu #time travel

[akatsukifictionsblog]

Chapter 2 -  Teddy Bear Hugs

Well here is Chapter 2.. This chapter gave me a little trouble. Also I am giving this story a new title  Teddy Bear Hugs . I am going to try, and extend this story to Valentines day. Maybe.  How will the Akatsuki survive our world as Teddy bears ?   If there are any issues I’ll try and fix them as I go.  Please bear with me as I write the rest of my story. 

Chapter 2 

As Megan was opening the box Tobi was growing more excited while the others were just wanting out of this box prison Tobi had put them in.   When the box lid was opened, and put to the side  Tobi the voices from earlier were now much more clearer, and light began to pour into the box.   While neither of the Akatsuki members could move their heads, or bodies they squinted. 

But as the light began to become clearer  the other Akatsuki members could hear Tobi laughing to himself.  Itachi was one of the first to look out of the box like the others was expecting someone a little younger.   Was this actually the person that Tobi had been talking about  ?  Itachi could see her eyes were sparkling , and her mouth that was at first slightly agape became a smile. Deidara blinked 

" Well... She's cute... "  Deidara said.  

" Is this the person you were talking about Tobi  ?" Pein questioned as the others could see the young woman in a red, and white dress.  A hairband was in her hair with a Christmas bow was in her hair that curled at the ends.  The girl's eyes were sparkling as she looked upon the Akatsuki teddy bears. 

" It is. Tobi can't wait for you to meet her !"  Tobi said excitedly as Sasori noticed the girl wasn't reacting to Tobi's blathering.   In fact it looked like  she or the people she was with couldn’t  hear what either of them were saying.   Was there some kind of jutsu on the box that prevented people on the outside from hearing what the Akatsuki bears were saying ? 

" Why can't she hear us ?"  Sasori questioned.

" Oh that. Well the seal I put on the box prevents them from hearing us talk Sasori sempai. The seal will be undone when she removes one of us from the box.  Once that happens we will be free to roam, talk, or do anything. . "  Tobi answered.  " So even if someone like Hidan sempai was yelling a thousand curse words she still couldn't hear you. "   

" What was that ! "  Hidan screeched only proving Tobi's point .Soon the other Akatsuki went silent as they noticed  Megan still looking at them it was like she was afraid to touch them.   They could also see a young boy which was the possible source of the shaking that had occurred earlier.   The little boy had a curious look in his eye, but at the same time didn't understand the hype that his cousin was feeling.  

" These .. These are incredible. Whoever Tobi got to make these.. They .. They look so authentic ."  Megan said as she held the box, and at first was a little afraid to even touch the teddy bears inside that were modeled after her favorite  characters from Naruto.   Especially the one that looked like Itachi.    Megan scanned the bears like she was scanning a painters masterpiece.

" What's with her  ? It's like she's afraid to touch us." Hidan said.

" Maybe its the way we look. Maybe she has a distinct eye for detail, and feels like she doesn't want to destroy art."  Sasori said.  

" I don't know what that means, but I want the h*** out of here ! " Hidan yelled.  But it seemed after a few moments the girl seemed to give in, and her eyes moved towards Itachi.  Itachi blinked as   Megan reached into the box, and gently began to lift him up.  Holding Itachi up  Megan noted the size of the bear, and how squeezable he looked.  

When Megan had done so the others felt a surge of chakra as the seal on the box had been broken.  With it broken  Megan, and the people around her would be able to hear what they were saying.  Itachi shifted his eyes when hearing voices down below.

Itachi shifted his eyes as he  was being hoisted up .  Now that he was out of the box  Itachi surveyed his surroundings.  Besides Megan, and the boy beside her  Itachi could see a few middle aged adults, and two elderly people inside what was a sitting room.   The on lookers were either discussing topics that Itachi had never heard of before, or watching  Megan as she was getting excited over her gift. 

Itachi then heard a small laugh coming from the older woman presuming to be the young woman's  mother.  Krystal laughed seeing her daughters reaction to the collection of teddy bears that looked like her favorite story characters.    Megan looked over at her mother who smiled and said. 

" Who ever your friend was from that convention must have known you liked those specific characters right ?  " Krystal asked, and  Megan nodded, but at the same time she was curious. Megan's aunt Diana looked over Megan's shoulder.

" What exactly are they ?"  Diana asked as she looked at the remaining bears in the gift box. 

" They are modeled after the members of the Akatsuki.  The Akatsuki are an organization in one of my favorite anime or manga series.  This one in particular is made to look like Itachi Uchiha."  Megan answered as she noted  the bears design. It  even had a functional necklace unlike official plush toys of Itachi where it was printed onto fabric.   After holding Itachi for awhile  Megan placed him back with the other Akatsuki.   

Still Megan remembered the note that had come with the bears .  Tobi was with the girls when they were talking about their Christmas plans.  While the bears were cute, and would look nice on her bed.  How would they help her not feel alone while her parents were gone.  After the Christmas party  Krystal , and Jeremy would be taking her grandparents back home.    Megan would be spending Christmas by herself  while her parents took the grand parents to see Leo's kids, and grandchildren. 

Megan shook the thought as she was given a card in an envelop from the grandparents that usually had a gift card or cash.   Megan smiled, and thanked her step-grandfather .   As everyone was opening their gifts  Megan stood up and excused herself, and picked up the gift box " Where are you going  Megan ?"  Megan heard her grandmother ask. " I'll be back grandma.  I am putting these on my bed for now."  Megan answered with a smile, and held the bears up till her grandmother could see.  

Grandma Abby looked at the bears inside of the , and smiled.   Abby then smiled turned to her left where there was no one sitting beside her and said. " Aren't they sweet look Mabel do you see them ?"  Abby asked causing Megan to smile a little, but carried the box to her bedroom .   " Now where are we ?" White Zetsu asked.

" Maybe it's her bedroom ?" Konan answered as their hostess carried the box that the Akatsuki bears laid in.   Yet Itachi noticed as the girl went inside the chosen room her smile from before seemed to fade a little.  But  Megan shook her head trying to shake the feeling. 

" Not today."  

Megan carried the box inside of her room, and sat the box down on her bed.  Walking over to her beside table  Megan turned on the lamp giving her a small amount of light.  Megan then set up the box on the bed till the opening was facing the door.  For a moment Megan sat on her bed giving herself time to calm down as she listened to the excitement from her cousin got his presents.  Inside you could hear the sound of her dads camera as he took pictures of everyone. Megan turned back to the Akatsuki bears as she was still curious on how Tobi learned her address, and how he managed to get such unique looking bears.  The letter was also a little strange and she wondered what Tobi meant by it.   " I'll have to figure it out later though. " Megan said to herself as she stood up. In the box the Akatsuki members looked around getting a small veiw of the bedroom that had been taken too.  The room's walls were powder blue, and the furniture inside was white.  Yet the most unique thing about the room were the shelves that held books, anime or some type of figure.  The walls also had pictures of anime, or characters that Megan liked.   The members waited as Megan moved around the room preparing a few things for when the party had ended. 

" Megan ! " Megan heard her mother call as it seemed the party was about to come to a close.  Megan could hear heavy footsteps that sounded like heavy boots. Bags were being rattled as things were being prepared to take home or put up for the evening.   Megan sighed as she carried the articles of clothing she had picked out , and took them with her. 

As Megan left she kept the door halfway open as she went out into the living room.  Now that Megan was gone   the Akatsuki bears were able to move, and leave the box that Tobi had imprisoned them in.   " Finally ! " Hidan proclaimed as Megan left the room.  Stepping out of the box the Akatsuki bears could finally move their stuffed limbs . Some of the members began surveying their surroundings. Itachi noticed the book shelves , and the decorations already on Megan's bed.   It was only when Pein cleared his throat did he get the others attention. " Now that we are out of the box ? Tobi explain to us what it is exactly we are doing here. Where are we, and what is this jutsu that you used ?  "  Pein questioned as he turned to Tobi.  "    The other members were quiet as Tobi jumped up and down excitedly. " Well like Tobi said.  Tobi brought you here as Tobi's Christmas gift to everyone. When Tobi means every I also mean Megan too.  While Tobi was here he discovered technology that our world doesn't even have yet . Also Tobi wanted to be a good friend, and help someone that was going to be alone for Christmas.  "   " Did you have to turn us into teddy bears though ?" Sasori asked. " Well.. Some of you are intimidating, and Tobi didn't want Megan to get hurt when you met her. "  Tobi answered  " So Tobi made some of you more cuter that way she isn't so intimidated , and try to run away. "   While Tobi was giving his explanation  Itachi,  Kisame, , and Deidara were walking around the bed looking around the room . 

" I see... Well for now let's divide and find out what our hostess is like. For now Kisame. Itachi I want you to keep watch at the door, and the people outside . The rest of us will look around this room, and try to find out some things.  Jumping off the bed Itachi, and Kisame headed towards the door in order to keep an eye on the activity in the house. 

In the mean time Tobi !  I want you to find away to undo this jutsu. "   Tobi laughed to himself as he went back to the box where he found the scroll in question.

#akatsuki #akatsuki fanfic #itachi uchiha #kakuzu #pein #deidara #sasori #tobi #hidan #zetsu #konan #naruto

[narutomaki]

i don't think orochimaru's kids are 100% clones, I think there's a mix of different dna there, so no, I don't think their kids would also be... his... (at least I think so....) but do tell more about this OC!!

THANK YOU! I have no desire to watch Boruto to gather information for minimal stuff when I don't even like Canon leading up to the war arc so bless your heart

The OC is the child of one of Saradas kids (So Sasuke-> Sarada-> her kid -> oc) and now with ur clarification I can ignore my impulse to make her one of Orochimarus kids kids and add that extra generation in there that I wanted.

She's eccentric and loud and doesn't have much of a filter so she's 1) not great Shinobi material so she never received any (OFFICIAL) training and 2) doesn't have a lot of friends so she does cling to her mentor figures a lot. Unfortunately for those around her her mentor figure is Orochimaru and she's very happy to be a test subject as long as she also gets unbarred access to all the information coming out of that. He's mostly stopped the vivisection and human experimentation by now and is winding down wrt "wah wah I wanna be immortal to learn everything" because he's coming to realize there is no way he COULD know everything because of the inherent ability of humans to be creative and inventive.

ANY WAY

Orochimaru lives pretty much the same way he did circa Naruto Era so she does as well not really important just a note.

SO.

one day she gets sick of something coming up from the "outside world" and just bemoans that she can't go back in time and fix some shit so that the world here was different. Orochimaru chastises her because if she went back in time she would never be able to see how she had affected the future because she has no desires for immortality and he's nearing the end of his tolerance for it.

So she's thinking thay night as she's sorting through stuff to do the next day and she goes. Well I am a seal master in training... I do have all this knowledge and abilities... I could ask for a research access pass to the Nidaime and Yondaime time space seals... hmmm

Long story short she goes back in time after convincing Orochimaru no no this is TOTALLY a good idea imagine the studies we could write.

She overshoots by a couple dozen years.

The Warring States period. Which neither of them have any knowledge of actually living in. This w9uld be fine they could adapt and figure it out. IF. SHE HAD ANY IMPULSE CONTROL WHAT-SO-EVER. AND OROCHIMARU WASNT NOW INTERESTED IN WATCHING HER TRAIN WRECK THE TIMELINE.

She seals away Zetsu. Fucks around and finds out. Ykno. The usual. She's having a grand old time. Minor issue.

To seal away Zetsu she had to pretty much get into the Uchiha compound bcus that's where he was lurking when she go a feel on him.

Major issue.

She and Orochimaru got caught.

Even more major issue. Instead if letting Orochimaru fight or talk their way out of it she blurts out "WE'RE FROM THE FUTURE I HAVE PROOF."

Chaos ensues. She whispers secrets on he knows to Madara and secrets only he knows to Izuna. They are forced to beleive that she is either an exceptional spy willing to work for them or that she's telling the truth.

Orochimaru is pretty much just like. watching that all unfold. waiting for the split second time frame he'll have to yank them out of there should things go south.

However apparently Izuna is far too fascinated by this and insists on not harming them and picking their brains for info. Orochimaru has to cope with this. He's stuck there. He has invested way too much time and effort and (eugh) affection into helping raise and inevitably taking in (vague mumbles a name).

Hijinks.

#can you tell itd a very unformed idea. #why is it every time someone actually asks abt an oc i havent named them yet...

[tenzoyamato]

Flashbackkkk

The air was damp and cold as Tenzō made his way into the cave that led to a new hideout deep within the earth. It had been six months since the 4th Great Shinobi War had ended, and as things were finally beginning to settle down, the Mokuton user found his new purpose with a self assignment to watching over the war criminal Orochimaru. Although he didn’t agree with Tsunade’s decision to keep the bastard alive, he wouldn’t just sit idly by and do nothing with a mad scientist out on the loose. It was a travesty that they were even allowed freedom with everything that they’ve done. What was she even thinking? This wasn’t justice at all.

Regretfully, the brunette knows he isn’t strong enough to take on Orochimaru and kill them. The only people even remotely strong enough to face the snake and be able to finish him off were probably either Naruto or Sasuke, and Tenzō wasn’t about to ask either of them to dirty their hands. The young adults deserved to finally rest and relinquish themselves of the responsibility of fighting for a while to enjoy the peace they obtained for the world.

As the Mokuton user reluctantly steps further into the cave he feels something ominous and familiar twisting his stomach into knots and making him tense up. Anxiety starts to play on his nerves causing his hands to tremor slightly and he stops in his tracks. Flashes of a memory he hoped would never return flood his mind as soon as he hears the sound of a water drop fall from a stalactite onto the earthen ground with an echo.

Tenzō is surrounded by darkness once more, then there is another drop of water that echoes out, resounding against stone walls. It’s loud. With a blindfold over his eyes for what seemed like weeks, his other senses had heightened. His ears were now his eyes, hearing what he could only imagine that was water dripping inside of a cave. He was bound as well as gagged, and with no way to communicate or sense much of anything else due to the chakra suppression seal placed on his body, he began to panic.

Footsteps can be heard, and a familiar slithering sound. It’s Kabuto and the one called Zetsu. It makes Tenzō’s skin crawl to hear the sounds again, but he can’t run and he can’t hide. 

Another flash of memory and now he’s hanging upside down, the blindfold being removed and he squints from the light accosting his eyes. Once his brown hues finally adjust, he’s able to make out the form standing before him, it’s the Sage of Dragon Snakes, peering at him through thick bottle glasses. Tenzō could never forget that piercing gaze from dark snakelike eyes. 

A kunai quickly slashes over his chest tearing through the fabric of his binder and skin, rivulets of blood now trickle down towards his face running up his cheeks and into his eyes. His body stings, not only from the wound inflicted, but from the blood invading his eyes and obscuring his vision. Then there is a question, but he remains silent. Another slash, and another question. So many questions and so much more pain, but still, Tenzō remains silent. His face is now covered in blood and when he can’t take anymore of the physical assault of pain, he allows his eyes to slide shut.

With another flash of memory, the brunette opens his eyes and is screaming out in pain. His wrist was just broken in two different places by Zetsu after failing to answer Kabuto’s question during another torture session. The scream of pain must have been one of the first sounds to come from his mouth in months since refusing to talk and give any information. The cuts, burns, and floggings were tolerable enough to stop himself from screaming, but this was a whole new level of pain. The sessions escalated each time, amping up the pain and testing Tenzō’s tolerance. 

Finally, they reached a point where they were getting somewhere, and when the Mokuton user eventually catches his breath, there is another question. Peering at Kabuto through a pained expression and gritting teeth, Tenzo definitely spits in his face. His rebellious act gains him a break of his ankle this time and a hand covering his mouth and nose to muffle the scream and stifle his breathing. The brunette starts to gasp for air in a panic, he attempts to move his head from side to side in order to shake away the suffocating hand, but he fails and passes back out from pain and a lack of oxygen.

“Tenzō!” The shout of his name is barely audible within the shrouding darkness. “Tenzō!” The name comes again but this time it is a little louder than the last. “Kami damn it, Tenzō! Breath!”

The sentence sounds like it’s being yelled against his ear and the brunette gasps for air before coughing, sitting up fast and leaning forward between his knees. Once the involuntary action subsides and air draws into his lungs, Tenzō slowly opens his eyes. He can make out the vibrant green grass beneath him being illuminated by late afternoon sunlight.

“You scared the shit out of me, Kitty Cat…”

The familiar voice causes Tenzō to sit up straight and whip his head around to see Kakashi standing beside him. “... Senpai?”

“Tenzō, you and I both know that this mission isn’t good for you… Just look at what happened, and you didn’t even make it 20 feet past the cave’s entrance. It’s torture... Please, just let me take you home. Retire from being a shinobi for a while and rest. You’ve earned it more than any of us. You’ve done and been through enough, don’t you think?” The silver haired soon to be Hokage says as he reaches a hand out to help the brunette.

Dark hues stare at the helping hand for a moment, his face void of any expression as he is still trying to gather himself after his debilitating flashback. 

“If you won’t retire, at least let me reassign you once I become Hokage… I’ll make you my ANBU bodyguard after the inauguration ceremony is over. Just… Let me figure out how to deal with Orochimaru, or we can figure it out together. They’re not just your problem to deal with, after all- It’s all of Konoha’s.”

The words strike a chord within Tenzō as he remains silent, but he reaches his hand out and takes Kakashi’s offer. Pulling himself up to his feet with the aid provided to him, the brunette looks down to the ground for a moment mulling over the suggestion. 

“Alright…” The brunette says in a low tone with a hint of defeat. “I apologize Senp-”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Tenzō. You did nothing wrong, and no one can blame you for anything. Now stop self loathing and let’s get you back home where you belong.” Kakashi interrupts with a serious expression on his features flexing through his mask.

Tenzō looks up at his longtime partner with watery eyes, though he’s not sure if his building tears are from the chastization or if it's because he finally realizes where he belongs. “Alright Senpai… Let’s go home.”

#ask #TW #Trigger Warning #Torture #mental torture

[kyogre-blue]

Naruto Shippuden, ep463-468

SIGH

463: 

I thought Sasuke could teleport now, but he can’t go between Kaguya’s dimensions, apparently. I don’t get how his new powers work. Or Naruto’s weird healing thing. (I looked it up, but wiki and quora could only tell me that it’s prooobably Yin-Yang Release but who know.) 

Kaguya “merged with nature”. In her artificially created dimension. OK. 

Obito’s resolution and side switching is so bad. I can’t take it every time we’re reminded of it. ALSO him just going “I’m going to die to help you now :)” is a mess too, even if they try to frame it as him being as good as dead anyway. How... convenient.  

464: 

I also don’t understand how this whole Indra/Ashura reincarnation thing works. On the one hand, it can’t be actual souls reincarnating, since we have Madara and Hashirama running around at the same time as Sasuke and Naruto (and we know Edo Tensei needs souls specifically, since it couldn’t be used on those whose souls got eaten by the Shinigami). So we all assumed it had to do with chakra. BUT now Hagoromo is specifically referring to souls??

Zetsu “possessed” Madara, according to Hagoromo. OK. 

It’s repeated that Hagoromo created the bijuu directly after his battle with Kaguya. Except that he told Naruto previously that he got the idea to create them out of the Juubi’s chakra after seeing something about Ashura. These flashbacks are especially inconsistent, even by Naruto standards. I don’t know why the studio didn’t make the effort to tweak Hagoromo’s dialogue earlier, if they were going to do this. The episodes aren’t that far apart. 

Gamamura had a prophetic dream about Naruto, a blue-eyed boy who would amuse himself with the names of the bijuu. So Naruto stars in two separate prophecies, just to be really clear that it is, in fact, destiny. 

Everyone back in the old days was awfully calm about this horned dude. 

A lot of the civilians back in the day wore normal shoes, not sandals. Also, I didn’t note this before, but their clothing was at times very similar to Susano’o. 

Hagoromo apparently passed on chakra to people only individually? This is really weird, because I figured he did all of humanity at once, but then he specifically gives chakra to Futami. So like... was there a fairly long period where some humans had chakra and some didn’t? Is it possible that there are people even in modern day Naruto world that don’t have chakra at all?? 

Hagoromo’s disciples split up and went their separate ways, so Ninshu probably had a lot of branches. 

Very dubious framing that makes it look as if only Tobi/Akatsuki and Madara mistreated the bijuu, when the biggest offender is Hashirama. 

Indra and Ashura’s mom died in childbirth. Fun fact: When I first watched the Indra and Ashura flashbacks, I didn’t notice that Futami has a male voice and legit thought he was their mom. But that would give a female character too much of a role. 

465:

Taizo, dog Shiro, Gasuka, Edashi, Kana

Indra created hand signs and ninjutsu at age 10. He was rather worried about the direction this would take Ninshu, but Hagoromo was very chill and just said that it’ll go how it’ll go. 

I appreciate that, for as much as I complain about Hagoromo, he freely admits that he was partially to blame for not noticing that an evil slime was radicalizing his kid from childhood. 

Zetsu could seemingly merge with trees, or maybe with matter in general. 

Indra looked so scared of Zetsu as a kid. He got prissy as a teen though. 

466: 

"Power maintains order.” “Why do we have laws? What is the purpose of Ninshu?” You know, I still don’t understand Indra’s mindset and values. He’s given this emphasis on order, but in the end he’s just “might makes right.” Not sure what they’re going for. 

The Sharingan “doesn’t work” on Ashura, according to Hagoromo. It reminds him of Kaguya’s eyes... but she never had one herself. I need to complain later about how the Sharingan is treated in the story, it’s really stupid. 

Ashura says the same thing as Hashirama, that Indra used to be kind. Both of them fixate on this past version of the other person, but don’t acknowledge that they’ve change, or try to understand how or why. 

Both power and love are necessary, according to Hagoromo. 

After Ashura covered his escape, Taizo had to live out in a shack since he was, you know, a criminal. But his mom got medicine somehow anyway. 

He’s willing to go with Ashura an learn Ninshu because a man’s obligation comes before his mom’s hate of Ninshu. But turning to crime and lying to his friend instead of just asking to help treat her was fine. OK.

467: 

It’s been ONLY 20 years since Kaguya was sealed? HOW? Even if you politely accept that Indra and Ashura are only 15 or something, that leaves only 5 years for Hagoromo’s big journey across the world! 

Ninshu had a bad reputation because of its connection to the destruction from Kaguya and Hagoromo’s battle. 

I already complained about the test, so I won’t say anything else. 

Ninshu really liked this practice of sitting in a circle and holding hands to circulate chakra between everyone. 

468: 

"Ashura understands people’s pain.” I really don’t dig this fixation on pain. And furthermore, I don’t see how Ashura understands anything particularly. He certainly doesn’t share anyone’s pain, since his life was quite peaceful, and he doesn’t show any specific cases on empathy as a whole, though he’s certainly a nice enough person. 

If we’re going to talk about understanding the struggles of others, I think it’s notable that no one ever tries to understand Indra’s struggles. It’s just not considered relevant, as if being a genius makes him immune to emotional challenges. 

The way Naruto portrays cooperation is just bad. It really ruins the entire theme about small individual powers coming together to achieve something, since that, uh, doesn’t happen. Or if it does, it feels deeply contrived. The series turns into biggest explosion stuff, with a power scale that completely excludes anyone not in the top tier. 

Hagoromo does some kind of... energy arm to transfer chakra from everyone else to Indra. 

Hagoromo goes on about how chakra “can link many hearts” but this literally never happens. There are cases on individuals linking to each other (Naruto and Sasuke, Naruto and Obito), but that’s it. The only way large-scale linking happens is through the Yamanaka telepathy. 

Indra switched from “watashi” to “ore” after leaving. 

I’m.... I don’t even know what to say about this entire push for some kind of reincarnation battle. “Love vs power” is not an ideological conflict. What does that even mean...

#now playing #watching naruto

[celticfeather]

Chapter 1: Dawn

Chapter 6 Below

-Uchiha Itachi-

"Itachi, wake up."

"Itachi."

Itachi opened his eyes and regarded his partner calmly. The first thing he saw was Kisame retracting a guilty hand, and a bluish eyebrow twitched. "Did you have trouble sleeping?"

Apparently he had overslept.

"The nights in this country are short," Itachi said.

Kisame looked over at the rising sun over the waves. It was already two hours high. But the mist-ninja said nothing.

Gulls wheeled as the pair trekked along the sand. They walked in the wetness where their footprints were quickly erased by the swiping glasslike waves.

"Finally!" A voice behind them said.

The disturbance's whining tone signaled no threat and dually annoyed Itachi. Zetsu had risen from the dunegrass, grains of white quartzite sand rivuletting down the creases in his leafed crest. Itachi did not particularly like Zetsu: it was some kind of association that the plant-ninja always brought bad news.

"About time we found you two!" the white half exclaimed. "I can't see or hear well through the ocean."

Zetsu could not spy as efficiently underwater or at beaches. Itachi filed the information for later use.

"Pain requests you meet at a cave on the eastern bank of Rido Lake, in the Land of Rivers, five days from today,' he said matter of factly.

Itachi and Kisame looked at each other.

Zetsu continued excitedly. "It's a doosie, the whole gang is invited! Well, I'll give you a hint. We're going on a Tailed Beast Hunt!"

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Tailed Beast Hunt?"

"Yes! Don't be late! Five days, Rido Lake, at noon!"

The plant-ninja seeped back into the earth. Itachi always found Zetsu's rare locomotion an anomaly. But Itachi supposed even his own powers, logical to him, looked enviously strange from the outside.

"Know anything about tailed beasts?" Kisame asked.

"The Nine Tailed Fox attacked my village when I was five. It destroyed the Uchiha complex and killed the Hokage...They sealed it in a child."

"The Mist's Tailed Beast has been missing since the death of the Mizukage."

"Hm," Itachi said. The hunt must be no small feat if the other teams were enlisted for the same task. At least, according to Zetsu, they had some days for themselves before they needed to report. Itachi was mildly curious of the mission, but not enthusiastic.

"Do we need to do anything before then?" Kisame asked.

Like say goodbye to friends and family? With a silent glance at the eastern sun, Itachi discerned their orientation, and led them in the direction of the Land of Rivers, a several days' walk away.

"It would be faster if we cut across the gulf."

"I can neither run nor swim a gulf."

"I'm not convinced you can swim at all."

The two ninja traveled a quiet day through the small countries. It was the custom of outlaws to make their routes through the disorganized and impoverished ring of states outside the great nations. These strapped militias did not track killers so long as they wandered peaceably.

As they walked along a path, the bisected village was freshly burned. A miasma of death, fine as silt and equally pervasive, clogged the air. A battlefield passed them by, and narrow flags streamed from spear points embedded in earth and armor.

"Looks like a civil war."

"Or a blood feud."

Hopping crows scattered before the two rogues. Most of the corpses wore old fashioned layered armor and carried swords. Like the Uchiha and Senju, he thought. But he doubted any were above genin in this battle.

He turned one of the soldiers over. It rolled too light in its iron shell, a woman, or a boy. A boy. Itachi searched him, but found only copper, and he left it. He did this to three other corpses, but found no food, only money.

"You check for threats. I'll search for anything useful," Itachi said, and Kisame disappeared.

Itachi stole suspicious and warily into the hamlet, a habit he could not shake despite the lack of threat. The thatch from the houses was half burned, and the village's inhabitants were dead or fled. He pushed open a garden gate.

Twisted in old rebellion against the dry summer grasses, gnarled black tree trunks reached towards the sky. His eyes flitted hopefully through the ravaged orchard like a songbird. Too high for even the lightest village children, a few orange persimmon fruits dotted the canopy.

With a flighting leap he landed on a tree's fork, picked the ripest fruit, and with his watchful eyes flashing left and right, he sank his teeth into the water-soft flesh. Persimmons were sweet and fibrous and very healthy. Life with Kisame had him eating a lot of meat. A hooded crow alighted on a nearby branch to observe him. He considered offering the bird a slice, before realizing it had ample preferable options.

The hamlet appeared abandoned from his vantage, and Kisame had made himself invisible. Itachi continued to explore the hamlet, but found little in the way of life or clues. The little crow followed him. An emaciated pig lay dead in a nearby pen. Kisame would like that. The patient crow watched him open the carcass and a squawk summoned her friends.

He walked into the mostly-intact adjacent hut with the pork balanced gingerly between his hands. The abandoned one-room house displayed a traditional kitchen: a pile of coals inset in a square hole in the center of the tatami floor. He might not be better at catching fish than Kisame, -no he was still probably better at fishing than Kisame- but he was definitely a better cook. With the pork fillet, soy sauce, peppercorns and herbs he found around the property, he practiced his art over a dead family's hearth. Kisame stepped through the threshold some time later.

"No one is here but some corpse robbers, who are hiding from us about a quarter kilometer away."

"How respectful of them," Itachi noted.

Kisame grunted. Itachi gestured for Kisame to sit opposite him as he continued to cook. Kisame's eyes traced out the window at the carnage, and he released an abandoned laugh.

"Reminds me of my teenage years.

Itachi followed his gaze. "Indeed."

The oppressive silence of dead men blanketed them. As the coal-fire stoked, the hut they sat in was empty from any laughter it had days ago. The universe had conspired to put two ruthless killers into a village that now offered no one to kill. The Akatsuki had always killed and left. Now Itachi would see what he created.

No. He spared the Leaf from this.

"The Eye of the Moon will end this excess," Kisame said soberly from across the coals.

"We'll find no satisfaction in illusion."

Kisame twitched his lip in a tight smile, unexpected to have lured Itachi to finally spar.

"How can you be sure that your belief that reality is superior to fiction, is itself not false?" Kisame's posed.

"Because I weave fiction."

Itachi had authored his ideal life once, right before he killed his clan.

He had cast Tsukuyomi on his… what was she? Izumi. He wove them a fiction of their life together, of having children, growing old and dying. And he remembered, for a few seconds that lasted her seventy years, she was happy. But through the whole thing he'd felt the unimaginable sense of dread that came with knowing he was in a dream. A few seconds later, Izumi's flesh was as broken as her mind was. And Itachi was broken in a new way too.

"I can show you," Itachi said. He hadn't meant it to be a threat but maybe it sounded like one. "What the Tsukuyomi is like."

A pause. "Don't."

Itachi let the conversation end. Kisame seemed most purposed in his whole life serving the Akatsuki. But to Itachi, his hunted years spent under red clouds was no life. He remembered no moments in the last four years where he was not either fleeing, hungry, hurt, exhausted, or lonely.

Or maybe this was normal and just came with being his age. He read that people his age needed more food and sleep. He had no one to ask. He looked at Kisame, but he decided not to.

The sweet, peppery scent of shogayaki goaded his hunger. His eyes flickered to Kisame; it probably smelled even better to him. Quietly proud of his wartime creation, he began to serve Kisame a proportionally larger serving to his own.

Kisame's fingertips interrupted his offering. "You eat it."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. For two days now he had not seen Kisame eat, on their lifestyle which burned tens of thousands of calories daily.

"There is an entire boar, already dead," Itachi reiterated.

"You're scrawny and should eat more."

He had never been spoken to that way. Silent in his irritation, Itachi ate. Kisame was an adult and a soldier, and would not die by starving himself.

Itachi's annoyance soured the food, and he had prepared enough for two Kisames. It was impossible for a single person his size to consume, and Itachi never liked overeating, especially in hostile territory.

"I can't eat all of this."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Do as you like."

He heard a small exhale from Kisame.

"Pork, it tastes too much like…" Kisame shook his head.

Perhaps he should have expected this. Itachi was suddenly uneasy with Kisame's candidness, when Itachi had been willing to bury the other day's incident. He worried he had been rude. He set his knife on the wood and stood. "Come with me."

Hesitant, Kisame followed him. Itachi halted before the orchard, the black-barked and scarcely-leafed persimmon trees stretching like dead fingers to the sky.

"I didn't think you ate fruit." Itachi explained the omittance. It seemed a ridiculous assumption now.

Itachi watched his partner's back as he walked forward, lit by the pink ash-hazed sun. He tried to focus on Kisame, or on the sunset, for if his gaze wandered, he would see the distance was fecund with death.

"Yo!"

Their eyes locked on the noise. Like a monkey from a tree branch, Tobi hung upside down from a permission limb. He completed his flip and landed sprightly on the earth to trot towards the two men.

Itachi and Kisame had the senses of beasts. No human could sneak up on them while they were awake. It was like the man had materialized from ash and smoke.

"Hi Kisame! Itachi! I thought of you, you know, and I knew I had to find you! Come see, Tachi! I found this toad that totally looks like you!"

Tobi had taken Itachi's arm and started pulling him in some direction. Itachi looked back at Kisame for something, —-he didn't know— for explanation, for sympathy, for help.

Itachi felt himself being sucked in somewhere, transported somewhere dark, then moved again back to the human world. Kisame and the ash were gone. Itachi and the spiral-masked man faced each other in a grassy plain.

The red eye through the mask was narrow, the aura menacing.

"I let slide your insubordination at the brothel. But discrediting the Eye of the Moon to Kisame is a new level of idiocy."

Fear's icy brine chilled Itachi's veins. Lowering his act even slightly to Kisame had been a deadly mistake.

"Kisame is still in full support of the Eye of the Moon," Itachi said.

The lie to shield his partner flowed smooth as silk before Madara. But he realized then its plausibility. In mentioning the Eye of the Moon, Kisame had baited and strung Itachi as deftly as he would a catfish, and thrown him to an even bigger beast.

Madara made a dismissive, subvocal noise. "Do you remember our agreement from that long night?"

"You kill the Uchiha police force and don't harm the Leaf. I help you in the Akatsuki."

"It's a pact you'll only escape when one of us is dead. Too bad for you and the Leaf, you'll die first."

Itachi lit Amaterasu then. The inferno feasted on Madara's clothes, he smelled it roast his skin, and the elder Uchiha screamed and cursed, and he disappeared in a swirl. Itachi did not know what the retreat meant, but he did not think the incident was over, so he fled for the forest.

Moments later Madara appeared on a tree branch in front of him, unflamed. Itachi kept running. This was not Itachi's first dance with a teleporter— and he knew to deal with them better than most.

The bait untaken, Madara disappeared again.

Then Madara phased centimeters in front of him. Itachi should have crashed into him, but there was no collision, rather Itachi suddenly found himself cut around the waist by a chain. Madara viced it taught around him and smashed Itachi to a tree trunk.

"Pain was never the one you needed to worry about."

Terrified and adrenalized, Itachi zapped him again with the Amaterasu. Madara swore and disappeared. Exhausted and half blind, Itachi's trembling fingers started to untie himself.

Madara returned and kicked the chained man in the stomach. "That again?"

Itachi recovered and stared at him wrathfully. Madara's only eye was shadowed by the mask, and Itachi could not establish the contact he needed for Tsukuyomi.

"Each user of the Mangekyou has one ability for each eye. Yours are the black flames, Amaterasu, and the nightmare realm, Tsukuyomi, right?"

"Take your mask off," Itachi breathed.

"I've been meaning to teach you something for a while. You buried the knowledge of Indra's clan when you killed them. They were weak, but the eldest Uchiha knew the old paths, even if they could not climb them. And orphaned, you now need instruction in using our highest gifts." Madara's voice had adopted a helpful tone.

"I want none of the knowledge that has poisoned you."

Itachi said it, but he wasn't sure he was so noble. Beneath his fear was the instinct to collect advantages. He had learned long ago to enact what sin justice demanded.

"There's a third ability that everyone with two mangekyou has. You have the eyes, but there's a nose. How's your knowledge of religion, Itachi?"

"Very well."

"Good. Then you know already what we call him."

Their eyes locked. A hypnotic heartbeat passed in synchrony.

The air cracked with chakra and the space around Madara hazed cobalt blue. Itachi's lips parted in disbelief. A huge skeleton formed around Madara, which lengthened as it became threaded with corded muscles, skin, and at last armor. A huge blue, astral samurai.

Madara spoke. "Amaterasu emerges through grief. Tsukuyomi through fear. Susanoo is a wrathful god, and his likeness is unlocked by hate."

Quick as a whip, the Susanoo lifted Itachi, its hand covered his eyes and twisted his neck like a bird, and the other crushed him until his ribs cracked. Itachi screamed, and his lungs filled with blood, and he felt his spine compressing, and he knew he would soon die. But above the pain, above it all, he hated the man before him. He wanted Madara dead. He wanted to flay the skin off him. He wanted to rend him full of nightmares, stab him through the tsukuyomi, and burn his corpse. Because if Madara didn't control the fox, he would not be in the Akatsuki, the scorned Uchiha would not have revolted, and everyone he had loved would be alive.

And at last Itachi's cracking ribs ceased. His body was wracked with pain, but he could breathe. The air tasted ozone and electric. He could just barely see that red bars of chakra, like a ribcage, had formed around his own body in protection. Madara's susanoo released him.

"I need you alive for something, for now. This ethical streak, however... I'll rub that out soon enough."

He dared the hateful glare of a man who could not stand at Madara. "I'll soak the earth with your guts."

A laugh. "Good progress."

The blur shaped like Madara admired the fallen Uchiha a moment more; in Itachi's imagination he was smug. Madara disappeared in a silent vortex from his right eye. Maybe Itachi had played into Madara's hands, but they both had what they wanted. Itachi had knowledge, and he was not dead. Itachi's fiery ribs extinguished with the threat, and he collapsed to bleed his life unto the ungrateful earth.

Author's Note:

Apologies for the wait on this one, folks. Thanks very much to beta SilverLion for her help!

See you next time,

Kelto

#campfires #celticfeather #itachi #Kisame #Kisaita #itakisa #akatsuki #fanfiction #keltodier

[phoenixyfriend]

More "de-aged Taka and T7 end up in the Warring Clans Era as Founders' wards" AU

“That’s a thing?” you ask. The answer is yes.

Uh. Kind of. Deaging Team Seven for the sake of tossing them back in time for a Founder to adopt is pretty common, but I’m trash for Taka so this AU started with me brainstorming the asshole team.

I am falling more and more in love with the idea of Tobirama ending up with custody of Team Taka somehow. He’s a science dad, but like. Marginally more ethical than Orochimaru.

Everyone around them is like "This is a terrible idea and it's all going to end horribly" and he's just like "Ah, these are now my children."

I've read so many "Team Seven time-travels and is de-aged, get adopted by the Founders" or "a Founder time-travels forward and adopts Naruto, subsequently picking up the others" and they're good but I now want the same plot with an even more dysfunctional collection of... eldritch mishaps? The AO3 feel of "I want this fic I just read, again, but a step to the left so it feels fresh and new"

I'm considering the tent of tranquility idea (courtesy of @sloaners​) and I've come to the decision that Tobirama's... probably going to end up with Several Holes in it, and burns, and cuts, because Karin and Suigetsu never stop fighting, and if they're fighting, they're not paying attention to how soon Juugo's going to lose his grip on control.

"Hm. Tobirama?" "Anija." "Where did you get children?" "They showed up." "One of them looks like an Uchiha." "He does." "Two of them are trying to kill each other." "That's normal." "Are the Uchiha going to accuse us of stealing a clan child?" "Probably." "...Tobirama, did you steal these children?" "No."

(It's not kidnapping if they show up and break into your house first.)

(Also none of them are particularly pressed to ditch the Senju and find their clans. Maybe eventually. Not now.)

They’re assholes but Karin is, even at Supposedly Age Three, babbling at Tobirama about proper lab protocol and chemical reactions and isn’t that just the most adorable thing?

Very few people find Karin as adorable as Tobirama does, because Karin knows more ways to kill a person than most adult shinobi, because most adult shinobi don’t know about things like flesh-eating diseases and specialty poisons from the other side of the continent that can only be refined via chemical processes that won’t exist for another three decades.

Juugo is a sweetheart. Best child. Then he loses his mind but it’s okay, Sasuke is there. Do the Senju trust the clearly-Uchiha child to control the much larger five-year-old? No. But they don’t have any better ideas right now, so.

Tobirama: Hm, we should do something about that. Karin: Here’s a list of ideas and things that have already been tried. Tobirama: Thank you, small child. Where did you get this? Karin: ... Tobirama: Fair enough, let’s see what we can do.

Suigetsu is a little terror because not only is he a Massive Jerk but he also has better control over water than most adults. Mostly because he is water. It’s very hard to find him when he’s avoiding chores.

Karin clings to Mito sometimes because Family! and then Hashirama tries to tease Tobirama about being upset that one of his students/children has ditched him. Hashirama ends up moping in a corner because Tobirama snaps at him, unsurprisingly.

IDK if we have like any canon for Touka beyond skill with genjutsu, but going off of the fanon that she used a naginata, I’m going to say that Suigetsu keeps trying to challenge her to Blade Fights and she’s just like Neat, A Tiny Murder Machine.

Sasuke is very quiet for the most part and Dramatically Broods On Rooftops And In Trees and Hashirama is just like YES YOU REMIND ME OF MY BROTHER AND ALSO MY BEST FRIEND and Sasuke hides.

Sasuke does not need another Naruto, thank you.

Sasuke ends up hanging out with Mito, I think? Like yeah, sure, she’s an Uzumaki, but she’s chill and refined and calm and she has really good tea in stock. Sure he has to learn fuuinjutsu to have an excuse to hang out with her, but that’s fine. It’s interesting. Karin does it too, sometimes.

tbh that probably leaves Hashirama to hang out with Juugo? Juugo isn’t great at Excite but he is great at nature so I feel like Hashirama would be stars-in-eyes about Juugo talking to birds the way Hashirama talks to trees, and Hashirama just gets him a chicken coop like HERE. FRIENDS.

But back to the suspected child theft.

Hashirama is like “That is... clearly an Uchiha. They are going to find out, Tobirama! Someone is going to figure out we have--” “Sasuke, show him your other eye. Yeah, the one you cover.” “...” “Okay, go back to playing.” “...Tobirama.” “Yeah?” “That was a Rinnegan.” “You know those rumors that the only way to get a Rinnegan is to mix the Uchiha and Senju bloodlines?” “It’s true?” “No idea, Sasuke won’t tell me anything about his parents other than their names, and he’s three, but even the chance of it being true means we have an arguable claim.” “...that’s not going to be enough to convince the Uchiha.” “The theory is but one weapon of many in the upcoming battle of wits.” “Tobirama--” “Now if you’ll excuse me, Anija, I need to go make sure Suigetsu doesn’t flood the training grounds again.”

tbh I can’t remember who made the original comment in canon about the Rinnegan being achieved via Senju/Uchiha babies but it’s funny to use here so I’ll pretend it’s a common rumor that nobody actually believes

MEANWHILE WITH THE UCHIHA Madara found and took custody of Team Seven and company, mostly because they’re like... jounin-level despite being less than three feet tall.

It involves a lot of Madara going "I want My New Children to love me!" and being sorely disappointed by half of them. Poor fucker got stuck with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato, and Obito.

(KakaYamaObito are deaged by the time-travel to 10-13ish. The kids are deaged to 3-4. Everyone has memories to just after the fourth war or so.)

Karin sensed T7 and tagalong pretty much the second they popped out of Kamui, and told Sasuke, but he correctly guessed that Naruto would hunt him down eventually, and said they should enjoy the peace and quiet while they had it.

Sai pulls emotionless creepy smiles in an attempt to freak out Madara but since Madara's whole thing initially was "less children in war," he's... mostly just sad. Izuna wants to know who made his brother cry.

Madara makes a vaguely misogynistic comment that's typical for the period and Sakura just. Breaks his tibia.

Naruto is genuinely trying to treat Madara with the kind of respect a caretaker that Attempts To Care And Do Good By Them deserves, because Naruto is a good egg, but he's... three again. Which means he's a Hellion.

The literal toddlers (Naruto and Sakura are three-ish, Sai is four-ish) are, in fact, toddlers, so nobody really expects them to be able to do anything. Nobody bothers to test them beyond the basics of like. Can walk? Can talk? Can maybe hold knife? Like don’t get me wrong, they’re very competent toddlers, but their hands can barely wrap around a kunai. Their bodies are tiny. Their bones only just stopped being soft!

That said, the “tweens” (re: adults who got deaged but Less) have to get tested for their skills. Kakashi downplays himself to what he imagines a semi-competent eleven-year-old to be capable of. He thinks of, like, Neji maybe? Good, but not suspiciously good.

Obito enters an intangible state and refuses to participate. He has a Mangekyo. His body is half-Zetsu. Stop bothering him. He doesn’t want to do anything. They assign him babysitting duty for Team Seven since he can obviously defend pretty well, and Kakashi vouches for his abilities as a fighter.

Yamato decides to try to be just a little worse than Kakashi but at one point he panics and does Mokuton on instinct and now the entire Uchiha compound is screeching because did they just steal a Main Family Senju kid by accident?

Yamato: Should I tell them I was a science experiment? Kakashi: No.

Pranks galore! None of the other time-travelers even try to stop Naruto, except maybe Yamato.

Obito at the Uchiha compound is mostly "I don't want to participate" and then just uses Kamui to be intangible until people leave him alone. If it's not another time-traveler or Madara, he's not interested. He doesn't even care that much about Sai or Yamato, actually, so if it's not an original T7 member, he doesn't care, and if it's Madara, he's just here to make things Difficult.

The Kyuubi wanders up to the Uchiha compound one day and everyone's preparing for a battle, even Madara isn't confident that he can-- [BANG] "KURAMA!" [delighted squealing]

Naruto now has a pet. The entire clan is terrified. Kurama pokes his nose at Naruto's stomach and disappears into the memory of a seal.

Madara, frantically writing a letter to Hashirama "What do I do if my toddler is possessed?!?"

Hashirama: You have a toddler?!?!?! OMG you should organize playdates with Tobirama's kids! Madara: I'M GOING TO QUESTION THAT LATER, PLEASE HELP WITH THE POSSESSION THING

Kurama hunts down Naruto, and the Jinchuuriki situation is very much in the realm of "Dis Mine" Also a bit of "If I'm in the brat, there's at least one Mangekyo user in hearing distance who can and will risk his life to prevent brainwashing. (Kakashi. It’s Kakashi.)

Naruto: Kurama's one of my best friends! Every time traveler: Yeah, that tracks. Madara: [teakettle screeching]

Per @firebirdeternal​: I'm just loving the visual of Giant Nightmare Terror Kurama kneeling down and pressing his nose to Naruto's Smol Chubby Toddler self and closing his eyes while Naruto pets him and giggles and every single battle-ready Uchiha is just. "wat"

Everybody else: Cool so Madara adopted a witch Uchiha Elders: We need to be careful of this horrible creature The younger generation of Uchiha: Okay that was weirdly serene and adorable and frankly the brat is really likeable when he's not being adhd as hell I think this is actually pretty dope.

Madara really wants to be a Good Dad but he has no idea how he ended up being "a dad" in the first place. He just! He cares a lot about this random assortment of kids! Some of them are from prominent clans and there should be search parties for the Senju kid with the Mokuton, or the Hatake brat, or the Uzumaki that doesn't look Uzumaki but definitely feels Uzumaki.... and SURE the only Uchiha of the bunch is a stranger who hates him for no reason Madara can come up with, but! He wants to be a good authority figure!

At least the Uzumaki appreciates that he's trying.

Seriously, though, there are clan kids and nobody’s looking for them, what’s up with that?

Kakashi still has a prize copy of Icha Icha and nobody in the Uchiha compound does a thorough check of his reading material until like three months in.

He is blamed for Naruto developing the Oiroke, because where ELSE would a toddler get such ideas? (Yamato and Obito both tell him he brought this on himself.)

Naruto waits until a Big Important Meeting lets out, something about tithes or a merchant contract, and just pulls a Harem no Jutsu in front of the entire group of Elders And Main Family. First he does a Mass Shadow Clone, which makes everyone turn on Sharingan because Fancy New Techniques to steal! Sure, they were late on the shadow clones, but the kid is clearly gearing up for something! The something is Oiroke.

Anime Nosebleeds everywhere. Most of the elders were hit. Izuna was hit. Madara is not bleeding from the nose, but he is very upset about having semi-accidentally sharingan-memorized his weird adoptee’s Sexy Older Female Alter Ego. There is yelling.

Naruto’s like “Oh, I missed some!” and decides to try again with Reverse Harem no Jutsu because there are old ladies among the Elders, and maybe some straight women representing a guild, and maybe some gay guys he missed! Madara is still not bleeding. (He’s very demi and tbh Naruto only would have succeeded if he’d tried to use Hashirama’s face. Naruto does not know this. He just figures Madara is ace like Sasuke and that no variant is going to work.)

Izuna gets another nosebleed and is just like “Well, this is not how I planned on coming out as bi, but--” “Izuna, I literally do not care about you being bi as long as one of us has an heir at some point, I’m more upset about the fact that my child has been corrupted!”

Back in the Senju compound, there is... a lot of screaming, honestly, but every time Karin and Suigetsu start trying to kill each other again, Tobirama just shrugs and tells them not to break anything.

Very easy-going caretaker, really. He's got some very deadly toddlers in hand, but they're still just toddlers.

Sasuke: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Suigetsu: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Karin, clinging to Mito: Yeah, I want to go see my clan at some point. Juugo: Please never, ever take me to my clan. Ever. Please. I'll stay with Sasuke, thank you.

Naruto breaks out of the Uchiha compound the first time he enters Sage Mode, several months in (it took a while to get the privacy) because he feels Sasuke and lbr if Naruto knows where Sasuke is, nothing will stop him.

The Uchiha clansmen cannot catch the errant toddler. They fail to inform Madara until Naruto is already in Senju territory because nobody wanted to admit the toddler outmaneuvered them.

Naruto wasn’t sure how to get into the Senju Compound safely so he just goes full Kyuubi, bounds over the wall screaming SASUKEEEEE at the top of his lungs, and then shrinks back down to Tiny Brat size so he could hug his Bestest Friend Ever and cling like a limpet while Sasuke just sighs and stares at the wall.

Sakura ran after him.

Sai painted a bird and Yamato dragged Kakashi onto it to chase Naruto, because Kakashi is at a point of zen regarding Naruto's bullshit and fully trusts the kid to not die.

Obito refuses to look up from whatever he's doing and asks people why they think he cares.

“We told you to look after the toddlers!” “Why would you do that? Seems like poor planning on your part.”

Disappears when nobody's looking. Waits until the Ruckus at the Senju compound (where T7 has crashed in to tackle-hug Sasuke and Madara followed in and proceeded to get shouty, and nobody's dead or battling because they're too confused and also it's a comedy) has started to calm down, and then teleports in and demonstrates Mokuton just to make Madara's life harder when the Senju Elders start demanding answers.

His energy is very "I am here to make Madara's life harder" and Madara still doesn't know what he did wrong.

Madara: That brat has a Sharingan! Tobirama: Well THAT one has Mokuton! Obito: Yamato has it too. [angry teakettle noises]

Madara's first response to seeing Sasuke is to turn to Izuna and point aggressively at the toddler while making a tea-kettle noise "He looks just like you!" "He's four, he barely looks like anything!"

Naruto, tugging at Madara's hakama: You need to make a village with Hashirama so I can see Sasuke more often, cuz I don't wanna ditch you guys, but I gotta see Sasuke! He's my best friend! Madara, who is aware that he could fight this child but really doesn't want to, and also knows that a tantrum thrown by Naruto or Sasuke is capable of leveling mountains: Right, yes, we'll get right on that.

tbh Madara wants the village anyway but "The bijuu-whisperer said he wants it to happen" is a great way to push things forward.

#Team Taka #Team Seven #Uzumaki Karin #Hozuki Suigetsu #Uchiha Sasuke #Juugo #Uzumaki Naruto #Haruno Sakura #Hatake Kakashi #Sai #Yamato #Naruto #Naruto Oldies #Senju Tobirama #Senju Hashirama #Uzumaki Mito #Kurama #Uchiha Madara #Uchiha Izuna #Senju Touka #Phoenix Posts

[crystallized-shadow]

#104 for the drabble prompt thingy! :D

104. “I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me.” (list can be found here). Since I have used this prompt before I changed it a little bit in this! Hiro was kind enough to give me free reign of the pairing, so I went with MadaGai. Please enjoy my first attempt at writing Gai! 

Also @writhingbeneathyou I hope you don’t mind but I borrowed your Ward of Konoha universe!

Madara liked to think he hated Gai with a burning passion the Uchiha were famous for, even if the little voice in his head disagreed with him. Without Zetsu around to corrupt his thoughts, that damn voice sounded a lot like Hashirama; it was just like that fucking Senju to torment him from the pure lands. He was sure at least Tobirama was having a good laugh up there, enjoying how eternal paradise had been denied to Madara, AGAIN. Instead of getting to reunite with Izuna and his other brothers, Madara was stuck in the village he’d already forsaken once; shackled to the very beast that had bested him. That stung his pride worse than the chakra suppression seals tattooed into his skin.

“Your heart is not in our battle my friend!” The booming voice has Madara blinking and starting across the training field at the bane of his existence.

“We’re not friends,” Madara states and sage dammit if that wasn’t the start to half of his conversations with Hashirama.

“Of course, we are!” Gai’s grin is over the top and sends another pang of longing through Madara. “Shall we continue our youthful endeavor?”

Normally Madara would raise to the challenge clear in those bottomless black eyes, but today the Uchiha is stuck in a time long past that he’ll never get back to. “Don’t you tire of this farce Beast?” He asks instead, crossing his arms under the protection of his yukata sleeves, making it clear he’s not fighting anymore.

“What farce?” Gai asks, bushy eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he too stands up straight; Madara suspected the taijutsu master cared more about their spare than his strange behavior but nothing was sure with Maito Gai.

“This,” Madara let’s his eyes sweep over the clearing no other shinobi dared approach, their fear of Madara still too great, before he looks at the youthful green beast before him. “Surely you must grow bored of acting so friendly; I am hardly blind to the fact you surely despise me as much as the others from the war. When will you put me out of your misery?”

“I…I don’t follow,” Gai admits and Madara’s eye twitches in annoyance, “why would I act differently around only you?”

“Must I spell everything out for your puny brain?” Madara growls, wishing not for the first time that Gai’s brain was as strong as his other muscles. “Everyone in Konoha wants me dead, are you so weak that you need to drag this out?”

“Yosh! I’ve never felt stronger than during our youthful clashes!!”

“Of course, I’m a bigger cripple than you,” Madara scoffs, his anger fading as he stares off into the distance. “Everyone wants me dead,” he repeats, his tone far away and detached in a way Gai has never heard as he continues, “I want me dead. You’re my warden Maito Gai, how long will you prolong my suffering? Have I not repented for the lives I took?”

“No one wants you dead!” Gai interjects, a frown marring his usually joyful face, “enough of this unyouthful talk!”

“I am old and so tired,” Madara continues like Gai hasn’t spoken, his unfocused eyes glancing in Gai’s general direction, “I just want to find the paradise Hashirama spoke of. Will you send me there?”

The fist slamming into his cheek hard enough to sending him crashing across the clearing catches Madara by surprise. For a moment he just sits there, brain trying to figure out what just happened.

“You are my friend Madara,” Gai states, his serious tone drawing the Uchiha’s attention, “I won’t tolerate such talk any longer, understand?”

“Look at you Beast, you almost sound human,” Madara taunts, because he wants the other’s anger to back his fists. “I didn’t realize you still had nerves I could strike.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Gai ignores the other’s words, “nor is anyone else in Konoha, least they face my power of youth!”

“How can you be a bigger disaster than Hashirama was?” Madara asks exasperated, unable to tear his eyes away from the strange man that held no anger at him, despite nearly dying at his hand not even a year ago.

“Yosh! You really think so!?” The honest to sage excitement in Gai’s tone at being compared to the God of Shinobi breaks something in Madara and the Uchiha can’t stop the laugh the breaks free as he finally stands up.

“Hashirama is the only shinobi I could never best,” Madara says as he drops back into his crouch, “a title I won’t allow you to take.”

“We shall see.” Gai’s grin is nowhere near as vicious as Madara’s but the Uchiha knows the youthful beast will do everything in his tremendous power to steal that title from his childhood friend. Madara looks forward to the challenge.

#MadaGai #implied HashiMada #Madara Uchiha #Maito Gai #mentioned Hashirama Senju #melancholy thoughts #Madara is stuck in the past #and wants to go to the Pure Lands with his old friend #Gai doesn't like such unyouthful talk #writhingbeneathyou's Ward of Konoha au #I am borrowing it #hope you don't mind! #also maybe happy late birthday? #first time writing Gai #I think he turned out okay #a-kid-named-hiro #hope you don't mind the pairing! #I just really wanted to try my hand at MadaGai XD #also Madara is rather derogatory when he refers to Gai #and himself #but mostly Gai #all caught up on these prompts #will take more if anyone wants to send one ;D #my writing #Crystal writes

[thegizka]

We Speak In Silence

Chapter 2 - Dark History

Sakura doesn't know what to say to Sasuke. There's a lot of painful history between them. But he is injured, and she is a medical kunoichi. Even if she can't heal emotionally, she can care for his physical wounds.

Note:  I do not own any aspect of Naruto.

Read it on Ao3.

Sakura had tried to prepare herself.  Without looking too eager, she’d checked his medical records and the reports after every treatment.  When she had time, she’d hover around Kakashi who, as he often did, would sense what she was really after and drop casual observations into their conversation.  Sai usually didn’t need any prompting.  She knew he’d been volunteering for guard shifts and helping the intel division so he could better understand their bonds.  But the most valuable conversations on the topic were always with Naruto.

“I can tell he’s thinking through a lot of things,” he said as Sakura carefully rebandanged his arm during a checkup.  “He’s always quiet.  He can’t just let things be.”

“Sometimes things are too complicated to brush off.”  She finished with his arm and moved to his head wound.  It was disconcerting to remember that most of her friend’s injuries had been inflicted by Sasuke.  How had things come to this?  And even now in the aftermath, could they ever return to the way they had been?

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto said softly, catching her hands.  “Everything will be fine.  He’s going to be okay.”

She let the warmth of his conviction wash over her for a moment before gently returning to her task.

“There’s a lot of damage there,” she observed.

“That’s no problem,” he laughed.  “You’ll just heal everything, dattebayo!”

“Don’t force everything onto me, baka,” she grumbled, poking the gash on his forehead to make him flinch.  “I might not have the strength and skill for it.”

“If anything you have too much strength,” he pouted.

“Huh?” she challenged, eyes narrowing menacingly.

“Nothing, nothing!” he backtracked.  “I just have the utmost confidence in your skill.”

“Hmph.”  She turned back to her task.  Naruto was healing more slowly than usual, probably an effect of using up so much of his and Kurama’s chakra during the war.  At least there were no signs of infection anywhere.

“You should go visit him,” Naruto suggested as he readjusted his shirt at the end of the checkup.  “I think he’s waiting for you.”

“I’m busy,” she deflected.  “There are a lot of patients to tend.”

“Okay.”  She could tell he knew it was an excuse, but he didn’t push.  “Just don’t wait too long.”

“Baka,” she sighed as he left.  Sasuke could wait as long as she made him wait.  After all, he’d made them wait nearly four years before returning.

In the end, she waited another week after this conversation with Naruto before volunteering to give Sasuke his treatment.

“Are you sure?” Shizune asked, evidently surprised.

“It’s just a checkup.  I’ve been taking care of Naruto, so I know what symptoms to look for.  I’ll be fine.”

“It’s not your medical expertise I’m checking on.  Prison visits involve added complications and risks.”

“Not for me.  He won’t do anything,” she said, though it tasted a bit like a lie.  Sakura wanted to trust Sasuke simply like Naruto, but she still felt his hands at her throat, his chidori driving through her heart, his eyes cutting her to pieces.  If she let the memories resurface for too long, she’d lose what confidence she had.  She pushed them away, hiding them in the part of her mind she only visited when it was late and she was alone.  She wouldn’t show any weakness.

Sakura brought Sai along for backup.  His silent, nonjudgmental presence was reassuring.  He didn’t expect anything from this visit, and she didn’t want to contend with others’ expectations on top of her own emotional turmoil.  It would be hard enough as it was.

He was just another patient, she reminded herself.  She was simply administering treatment.  Their personal history had no place here.

No matter how many times she repeated this to herself, she hadn’t been prepared for the moment Genma opened the cell door and she saw him for the first time since the end of the war.  It was unsettling to see him wrapped in a straitjacket with the seal over his eyes.  She couldn’t shake the feeling that this was merely a facade.  She had seen his full power while fighting Kaguya.  If he wanted to, she had no doubt he could free himself of the restraints.

That he seemed willing enough to cooperate reassured her that he was sincere in attempting to reconcile his dream with the current shinobi world.  Somehow this made it more painful to see Sasuke restrained.  She wanted to believe in him, but he looked like a criminal, and she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to trust him yet.

Someone placed a hand on her shoulder.  She turned to see Sai giving her his signature smile.  At some point she had come to trust that ambiguous smile more than the man in front of them.  She was glad to have her teammate backing her up.

Sasuke’s head jerked slightly when she stepped closer, and she knew he recognized her.  She wondered if she should say something in greeting, but her mouth felt dry.  She wasn’t like Naruto who could smile at everyone.  She didn’t even know what she could say to Sasuke.  She could continue to tell herself that their history had no place here, but she carried it with her everyday and everywhere.  Perhaps she’d been foolish coming here.

You’re not expected to make small talk.  Shizune’s instructions echoed in her head.  You’re going there in a medical capacity, not to get information.  You just have to make sure he gets the care he needs.

Sakura took a deep breath.  He was a patient, nothing more.  She would administer treatment and then be gone.  She was a professional.  She could do this.

She began undoing the buckles of the straitjacket, urging her fingers not to shake.  Sai hovered behind her as security, and she took strength in his familiar presence.  Sakura moved slowly and deliberately, carefully peeling away the fabric to avoid irritating her patient’s wounds.  She started with his arm.  The skin of his shoulder was red as though it had been rubbing against the rough fabric of the jacket.  She would have a word with Genma to see if they could loosen it a little.

“Sakura.”

Sasuke said her name so softly it was nearly inaudible.  It was neither a question nor a greeting, but she sensed more gravity and meaning in those syllables than they had ever held before.  But she didn’t have time to mull over the significance of it.  She had a job to do.

Sakura ignored the urge to flinch when the stump of his arm was fully exposed.  It was no longer an open wound, the skin having knit itself together according to the stitches, but angry red proto-scars twisted across the skin.  Naruto had benefited from readily-accessible medical care and a lack of restraints.  His arm looked much healthier.  It seemed Sasuke’s suffering had been prolonged.

“How is the pain?” she asked as she summoned chakra to her hands and let it wash over him.

“Not unusual,” he answered.

As her chakra sank into the muscles to trace the places where they were trying to reconnect, she suspected he was downplaying the discomfort.  They’d laced light painkillers into the food pills they fed him, but those wouldn’t be particularly effective against significant injuries like this.  She’d consult Lady Tsunade to see if they could up the dosage for him.

After the tightness in his face had eased--further evidence that he had been in notable pain--she rewrapped his arm with a fresh bandage, extending it up his shoulder to hopefully prevent some of the rubbing that seemed to irritate his skin.

“Could you turn for me please?”

He shifted on the short bench where they were sitting.  Her hands ghosted over the large bruise on his back.  That at least seemed to be healing well.  She couldn’t sense any internal damage, either.  The previous medical reports hadn’t mentioned any, but after seeing the state of his arm, she wanted to double check everything herself.

“Have you been sleeping well?” she asked while she checked some other minor injuries.

“I guess.”  Sasuke shrugged, and she watched his muscles roll beneath her hands.  “It’s hard to tell.”

“Your eyes?” she guessed, beginning to pull the straitjacket back into place.  His silence was his confirmation.  “Do they hurt?”

“No.”

“I hope you’re not lying.”  She fastened the last buckle a notch looser than it had been to hopefully relieve some pressure on his damaged arm.

“Lying would be pointless.”  Sasuke’s voice was heavy with weariness and something sounding like regret.  She wasn’t sure what that meant, but she also didn’t have time to unpack it.

“It would,” Sakura agreed.  She stood and faced him.  Instinctively he tilted his head up towards her.  She noticed that his hair was getting longer.  The bruise on his cheekbone had nearly disappeared, too.

He was here.  Sasuke was really here in front of her.  It was still difficult to wrap her head around, especially when he was wrapped up like this.  He seemed so docile.  Fragile, even.  Was this really Sasuke?  She’s seen so many things during the war, from reincarnations to chakra-mimicking Zetsu transformations.  What if this ended up being a cruel trick?

She was struck with the need to see his eyes, the one part of him she knew would never be replicated.  She reached towards the seal hiding those sharp, dark eyes.  What would she see in them?  Hatred?  An intent to kill?  Annoyance?  Those eyes were burned into her memory and taunted her in those dark, lonely moments when she knew she wasn’t strong enough to withstand their gaze.  She had always been caught in their power.  Even now, she was drawn to them, drawn to him.  Would she ever be strong enough to break free?

Sakura froze before her fingers touched the fabric of the seal, overcome with the realization that in this moment, Sasuke was completely at her mercy.  In this moment, she was the one who held all of the power.  She could kill him if she wanted to.  Her hand moved down towards his throat.  It would be so easy to crush his windpipe or snap his neck.  She was physically capable.  He had tried to do the same to her once.  Her fingertips grazed his skin.  She felt him swallow.  She pressed forward slightly, and his pulse thrummed against her finger.

She counted the beats in her head, letting the steady rush of blood in his veins dispel the darker ideas intruding on her mind.  He was here.  He was alive.  He had come back to them.  Even if she wanted to kill him--and she didn’t, she couldn’t, she’d tried once and didn’t have it in her--there was no point now.  The best she could do was give him a chance to try again.

Sakura stepped back, nearly bumping into Sai.  She took a deep breath and ran through a mental list of checkup procedures to make sure she’d done everything.

“If the pain increases, let someone know.  At this point it should be getting better, not worse.  And get up once in a while to walk a bit so your leg muscles don’t atrophy.”

He nodded once.  She waited a moment but didn’t know what else to say, so she turned to leave.

“Sakura.”

There he went again saying her name like it meant more than any other word in his vocabulary.  It made her stop, but she did not turn.

“Thank you.”

She took a shaky breath and blinked, letting his words sink in.  Then she stepped forward, leaving Sasuke sitting in silence.

#gizka #my words #sasusaku #naruto #haruno sakura #uchiha sasuke #uzumaki naruto #angst #sai #posting twice in the same week??? #I'm never this productive! #If only I could channel this energy towards fics I've already started