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azullumi · 5 months

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“i think i like this little life” ; genshin men

summary — small things and simple moments with him that makes life worth living.

includes — various characters (w/gender-neutral reader)

tags — fluff, established relationship, kind of domestic, not proof-read, kind of word vomit ; scenarios

words — 1336

notes — i was originally going to add like a watching him get ready scenario thingy but then i changed my mind,, anws i feel like i wrote everyone too soft here haha

;; spending the morning together

honey-dyed light slips through the thin drapery over the window as the distant shrunken circle of golden rises to the sky portraying the morning that comes. the birds sing a gentle tune outside, serving as some sort of alarm that wakes him up, eyes fluttering open to the sight of the familiar ceiling, the feeling of warmth beside him.

although the dawn’s early night was never a pleasant welcome to him as it only indicates the things that he has to do and have to do for the remainder of the day, anticipation comes at the mere thought that he’ll get to start and spend it with you—everything becomes a little bit better like a weight on his shoulder has been lifted.

in the stillness and silence of the morning, there you are besides him; his gaze lingers at your sleeping form—tranquility seen on the edges and corners of your being—, eyes deep and swirling with feelings of affection; he doesn’t even know how soft his expression becomes whenever he looks at you until someone would inform him of it. strands of your hair were tangled and messy, some of it obstructing your face as it fell over your forehead, and the feeble light shines itself on your skin, basking you in a warm golden glow. everything feels like scenery, something out of a claude monet painting. how did he ever become so lucky to have someone as lovely and wonderful as you in his life?

the moment doesn’t last forever, however. as if a fleeting one, a groan was heard from you and you stir yourself awake.

“good morning, lovely. did you sleep well?” his voice, tender and filled with affection, pierces through the gentle silence of the room. he presses a small kiss on your forehead as he greets you, brushing the strands of your hair back as he did. you slowly blink your eyes open, the sight of him greeting you and immediately, a small smile graces your lips. “good morning.” you reply and having just woken up, your words came out as a whisper only for him to hear.

“do you want to get out of bed?” you only shook your head as an answer, snuggling closer to him. face buried on the curve of his neck, you inhale his scent—faintly cloying yet pleasant. he laughs shortly, “we can stay in for a little bit more then.”

for him, the thought of waking up with you to the soft glow of morning outweighs every trace of his not-so-morning-person personality; he’s not a morning person but if he gets to spend every morning under this light with you, he wouldn’t mind it.

ayato, diluc, dainsleif, heizhou, kaeya, baizhu, kaveh

;; watching everything outside the window

it was just a small thing that you would do together, mostly when one of you is bored. sitting by the window, looking out of it, watching every person that passes by, and creating some sort of story behind them—a not-so-true reason behind the passing strangers’ actions. it’s really just a simple way to pass time and to entertain yourself and you love it, especially when you’re doing it with him.

“do you see that man over there?” you start, referring to the man on the street who seems like in a rush, and his gaze follows the mentioned person. “he’s walking—no, wait, he’s running because he’s on the way to meet someone.”

instead of a mere indulgence in gossip or prying into the affairs of others, it transforms into a serene narrative, delicately unwinding the threads of each moment that passes—people watching, the art of noticing. everything felt like a movie with each of the scenes unfolding before you.

he takes a sip from the cup that he was holding, eyes showing a hint of interest. “perhaps he’s on the way to meet the love of his life.” he chimes, his gaze then darting over at the sight of a woman with their dog. “how about them?”

you hum, “maybe on the way to the vet?”

“sounds like a plausible reason.”

the moment stills, the both of you quietly observing and noticing everything outside—like how the plant displayed outside the window of the shop was a different one compared to yesterday or how the cat across the street always sits and waits on that one spot until an old lady comes to feed them. in essence, yesterday was different to today; in a way that yesterday, there were less people than today or that yesterday, the sun whispered its golden tales to you as to today, it wears a different hue as clouds gather in quiet conversations.

“oh, look there, the cat has a companion.” you say, breaking the hushed moment being shared between you two, tone with a faint of excitement in it as your eyes flickered with the same note. “do you think they’re a couple?”

“they look alike, perhaps siblings.”

“that’s silly, you know a lot of cats look alike.”

and yet, despite all the small shifts and subtle differences painted on his moment before and currently, his yesterday was no different than his today, perhaps it was because you were there with him. many people experience today in a different way and for him, he experienced today with you—and he could only silently hope that it remains that way forever.

kaveh, alhaitham, baizhu, wanderer, lyney, heizhou, childe

;; making plans to spend more time together

there’s just something so intimate in doing things together even if it’s just as mundane as making plans together, to see if one has time for the other on a certain day so that you can have a small date with him or to see if he could accompany you out shopping. perhaps, it is one way of saying that the time you have right now is not enough, never enough, and you can’t wait to see spend time with each other again even if the two of you are right there besides each other currently—a shared anticipation that whispers of the inadequacy of the present moment, always leaving you yearning for more time in each other's company.

“do you want to go out tomorrow morning?” he asks you, his voice gentle like the soft beating of his heart against your ear. you lay besides him while your head is resting on top of his chest and he has his arm encircled around your figure which urges you to nestle into the curve of it; your forms were intertwined with one another in bed, his fingers going from tracing the delicate of your back to playing the strands of your hair, twirling and combing through it.

“to where are we going?” you answer, head tilting up to look at him and his eyes meet yours in that moment, a soft gaze full of adoration for you and only you. he hums, as if going into thought, “there’s a newly opened cafe down the street, do you want to have breakfast there or do you want to have it here instead? we can cook something together. which one sounds more appealing to you?”

he gives you a set of choices, giving you the freedom for your own comfort and desire—something that you greatly appreciate. you’ve contemplated on your decision, taking just a few seconds to do so: “the former.”

“in a cafe?”

“yeah, i feel like going out tomorrow. can we wake up early so that we could, like, take a walk and go to the park?” he doesn’t give it a second thought, nodding and agreeing to what you have asked: “i don’t mind. maybe we can have a picnic there?”

“next time we can.” you answer in which he responded with a hum. silence then settles in the air between you two yet it doesn’t last long as he spoke once more: “can you move closer? it feels like you’re not that close enough for me.” he says, earning a chuckle from you.

albedo, thoma, tighnari, zhongli, dainsleif, lyney, cyno

692 notes · View notes

httpknjoon · 6 months

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(re)starting over again | kth; 12

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 5.3k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)

note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.

As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.

You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer.

Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.

But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.

“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.

Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.

But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic.

Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.

“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”

Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.

“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”

After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.

“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”

“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.

Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.

But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.

Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.

“YN, honey,”

Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car.

Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”

The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag.

“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.

He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”

You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.

“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”

They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again.

The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.

From Julia

Will be there in five

Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.

We tried, didn’t we?

Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.

Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.

You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.

“You…”

It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.

“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”

Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,

“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”

She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”

“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.

The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.

“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”

You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,

“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”

You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,

“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”

Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”

“I applied as a school nurse–”

“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”

So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.

“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.

You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”

“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.

“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.

“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”

Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”

She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.

Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.

Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.

And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.

The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.

Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.

You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.

In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.

“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”

A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with.

“Oh, hey, YN.”

You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.

You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”

“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.

“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”

You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–”

It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.

“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”

An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.

Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?

“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.

“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”

The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.

“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.

You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.

“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”

“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”

Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.

“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”

You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.

“You are stunning!”

“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.

“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”

“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.

She waved back, “Love you, take care!”

You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.

You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,

From +82 65 78** ****

Okay, see you there! Take care.

Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.

As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.

“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.

You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”

Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.

“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”

“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.

“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.”

You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes.

A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.

“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.

“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”

“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”

Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.

What is he doing he– Fuck.

Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.

Fuck, you cursed again.

What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since.

It burns.

His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.

Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?

It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.

Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.

“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”

You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi. Where are you?

You’ve been alone for a while now.

Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.

Did your date just stand you up?

His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.

“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.

Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”

Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem.

“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again.

Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”

Did he just get this deal?

“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.

Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.

“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”

“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.

“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.

“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”

“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”

Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand.

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.

While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.

Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”

Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”

“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”

“See you.”

Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.

“This one’s just a few minutes away–”

He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise @tannies-luv @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18 @telepathytae @talkyoongitome

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#bts angst #bts x reader #bts series #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #taehyung au #taehyung series #bts amnesia #taehyung amnesia #bts established relationship au #taehyung established relationship #restarting over again kth

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morinuu · 4 months

Note

LISTWN TO ME I JUST READ YOUR TAMAKI ANGST AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE SO FICKING GOOD??

A she falls but he falls harder

Reader finally gets over it and stops coming, moving on and focusing on herself, and he notices and starts realizing how he took her for granted

And then its him that's loosing his mind and shit like that. Dude. Dude. I'm loosing my MIND you write so well

first of all ty for the compliment >< so glad u liked it im blushing and giggling!! secondly im not sure abt the reader completely abandoning tamaki's side (i love being delulu), but i do have smth else in mind that's kinda similiar n i hope its satisfactory :3 i changed only a minor part from the og :P i wanna make this a small series..... maybe like 3-4 parts.. anw this is pt 1

☀︎｜tamaki x female reader. almost 4k words. continuation of this. ure sick, yamada hinata & aoko r just some ppl i made up for the plot, tamaki's pretty stupid n emotionally unintelligent, lots of feelings and background information, y'all r childhood friends, there's like one 4th wall break but i thought it was kinda funny so i kept it

you weren't a fan of february.

allergy season was your absolute worst, the wheezing and coughing sucking the life out of you as you struggled to change out of your clothes to get the day started. you didn't sleep much, interrupted constantly by your sore throat aching and squeezing.

sure, it's just hay fever to everyone else, but for a young woman who carried around an inhaler, it's hell. well, almost hell.

what was truly hellish wasn't the fatigue or the sneezing, but your mum dragging you back in the house and forbidding you from going to school until you're well enough to study again. how were you supposed to keep up with chemistry class if you skip?

not that your parents cared for your grades; they knew you could just enter whatever field you wanted with the connections your family held, but it felt nice to be awarded for working hard.

after your personal maid let out a small "pardon me, miss" and carried you back to bed, you realised that the feeling your soft quilt hugging your cold limbs would never be beaten by the jacket you desperately clung on to warm yourself in p.e - which just so happened to be your first period that day and you were dreading it.

"i'll be making you some tea, miss. would you like to breakfast now?" your maid's quiet voice addressed you, hoping you'd just sleep the illness off as you usually did so she could rest too.

to be fair, you weren't a very easy master to please, so could you blame her?

"i'll breakfast la-" a cough and some wheezing "-i'll breakfast later, bring some english breakfast with a slice of lemon." you said nothing else, instead focusing on calming your throat that seemed to intensify in soreness. "a pastille too."

"understood my lady, i'll be right back." she bowed and excused herself from your room, ignoring your groans of annoyance as you buried your face into the pillow.

"damn it." you muttered and extended your hand to grab your phone from your bedside table. unlocking it with the passcode (because you weren't in the mood to lift your head and let your phone scan your face) you squinted as the light mode of a social media app hit your eyes harshly, forcing you to use muscle memory to lower the brightness to its minimum.

you scrolled through, liking your friends' private posts and decided to message one of them.

yn.spam: gm dude, i cant come to school today cus im sick. can u do me a favour n tell aoko to give me her notes? she never looks at her messages.

with your phone back on the table to wait for a response, you lied back comfortably and closed your eyes, because as much as you wanted to watch something on netflix or play a video game, you didn't want to make things worse for yourself.

you grew impatient for the cup of tea your maid was brewing, rotating between wheezing, checking your phone and staring at the ceiling. it seemed like the seconds weren't passing by at all.

soon enough, your maid comes back with some fancy tray carrying a kettle, your favourite mug (the one your daddy drank from when you were a little girl before your parents divorced), a tiny plate with some lemon slices and a small box of pastilles as throat medicine.

you didn't thank the woman when she helped you sit up, nor when she stayed by your side to make sure you didn't choke between coughs and burnt yourself with the hot liquid. just as you took your first sip, your phone lit up to show your friend's response.

thatguyhinata: Ayooo gppd morning. Sry to hear tht. Sure if I see her I'll telm her.

the irises in your eyes rolled upwards at the boy's typos that irked you every time, completely ignoring how he didn't wish for your recovery.

yn.spam: thanks yamada

you never used any of your circle's first names, which your mum always found weird.

'you sure these are your friends, darling?' she would ask often, and your response would always be the same:

'yeah mum. leave me be.'

only tamaki had ever felt close enough to be called by his first name.

after swallowing your medicine, you dismissed the older woman standing over you and pulled your quilt over your quivering form again.

"gods, please let this be over soon."

...

well.

...turns out, you gotta be much more specific with what you ask of gods, because they might not have the same understanding of the word 'soon'.

here you are, three days later, with your allergy having been combined with a virus that'd been going around, intensifying your asthma symptoms and raising a high fever, making your mother and doctor ban you from walking into ouran.

halfway throughout the day, you realise what had been completely slipping your mind while your lungs were occupied inhaling abnormally.

"i have an appointment today!" you exclaimed with wide eyes, raising from the bed like lazarus from his grave.

"...?" the new maid next to you didn't say anything, she was clearly concerned. after some seconds of you overthinking something, she spoke up. "you have no other doctor's appointment today, my lady. he just left 10 minutes ago."

you shook your head quickly, ignoring the dizziness brought by your fever "bring me my phone," the girl was puzzled "now!"

bowing a quick apology, she rushed to your desk and handed you your phone with both hands, not daring to look up. you disliked new maids; they were inexperienced and annoying, but scolding her would have to wait.

"damn it, damn it, damn it!" you murmured under your breath and tapped furiously on your phone, trying to find where the hell you'd written kyouya's business e-mail address.

you had it saved as every other client of the host club had, but you had never actually used it, not once.

you never missed an appointment, and always booked the next one tete-a-tete with the black-haired manager. if you became a no-show without prior notice, wouldn't that look bad? would it annoy kyouya and he wouldn't accept you in the club again?

well no, but you had the habit of overthinki-

'would it annoy tamaki?'

you groaned and murmured to yourself - had you deleted it? maybe it was in your notes app and you erased it? was it on your old phone from a month ago?

"find an e-mail for me." you ordered the maid who looked up at you perplexed, but carried out the order nonetheless.

the girl was embarrassed when she found out her master was asking for a host's email, wanting the earth to swallow her when she dialed the ouran academy's number. 'the stuff i do for money..' she thought and prayed her family never found out.

it wasn't a long process to retrieve the address, but what was, was the rant hitting the maid's ears when your overthinking about what to write left your mouth at incredible speeds.

"should i say i'm sick? but he already knows that- he's in my class! maybe tell him to give my time to another girl? no wait, he would do that anyway... or after i apologise, i'll say that, like, something came up- but that's not believable enough... ugh!" you buried your face in your pillow and, unbeknownst to you, your new maid's eye was twitching in annoyance.

she understood now why your personal maid took the week off just when you got sick - not that she understood how and why your mum allowed it though.

(it's because you can be insufferable and she gets it.)

"my lady, may i help?" the girl let out, clearing her throat when you lifted your head from the pillow. "i can write the e-mail myself, please focus on resting."

after some convincing, you gave in.

and so 10 minutes later, back at ouran, kyouya's phone let out a ting! with your full name on the notification. he'd already guessed you wouldn't show up to your appointment considering you hadn't come to school in three days, and already had someone to fill your place but left it for the last moment in case you did show up.

why? well you were ln yn, and it was painfully obvious you were smitten with his best friend, though he could say it was a bit different from the rest of the clientele.

probably due to the fact that you'd known tamaki for much longer than kyouya had. and yet tamaki didn't seem to have the same fascination with you.

he remembers when he first met you, when he'd heard that you were spoiled rotten and weren't even planning to enroll in ouran until tamaki did. you simply transferred to be with the boy.

literally everyone knew of ln yn's almost freakish obsession with suoh tamaki, except for the victim himself.

so imagine his surprise at the strictly professional e-mail he'd received from you, where not a single mention of your host was included. weird.

after glancing at the french boy in the seat next to him eating his bowl of some-sort-of-commoner-convenience-store lunch, kyouya quickly typed a response and informed the next girl in line that a spot was open 'for tamaki's hosting services at 15:35'.

"one of your appointments cancelled due to a personal issue. we'll have someone else fill it." kyouya told tamaki, just as stated in the e-mail, even though it was pretty clear you were sick, and he couldn't figure out why you'd lie.

"hm? oh, okay!" the brunet smiled and went back to devouring his meal, not thinking much of kyouya's words.

kyouya pondered if he should tell him the client was his loyal friend yn, who would never skip out on seeing tamaki, but he stopped himself, curious as to how it would all play out.

eh, if the twins could have fun, so could he.

"oh! haruhii! daddy's here!"

the hours passed so slow you were almost convinced time was frozen when you weren't glancing at the clock on your laptop.

the drama you'd been watching started to lose its interest after presenting the third plot twist in a row, annoying you with all the plot holes it left gaping.

sipping on your green tea (you'd been drinking tamaki's recommendation, pomegranate, only to throw all of it in the trash when you heard he gave the same advice to haruhi), you paused the show and sighed in absolute, tyrannical boredom.

by now you'd normally have finished your classes and walked to music room #3, your favourite among them all.

you'd be welcomed by a host and walked to a sofa to wait for your appointment, ignoring any other girl in the waiting area trying to pick a conversation with the middle child of the ln family.

and soon enough you'd be approached by your one and only taking your hand in his and kissing it to greet you, with his blue eyes staring up at you innocently like a man in love; a look he gave to any woman nowadays, it was second nature to him.

you got lost in them so often, he sometimes dared to ask you if you didn't enjoy his company and that's why you spaced out so much.

preposterous.

you? disliking tamaki? how could he think that after all these years you spent playing together, with you transferring to his school for his sake, swallowing your pride and becoming the client of a host for him?

truly an absurd notion.

currently, however, you weren't in the host club. you were just a girl with a bunch of germs crawling everywhere around her room, unable to go out and see the man of her dreams kiss her cheek and tell her to 'get well soon'.

speaking of, your mum grew increasingly concerned when she noticed the lack of communication between you and tamaki. you were always attached to his hip like some sort of koala, and the fact that you hadn't reached out to him to inform him of your illness personally so he could visit you made her worry.

but it was only natural that you'd suspect you were being an annoyance to tamaki once you began to notice his eyes shift from you to the newest host a couple of months prior. he'd been a petit brunet boy. a first year who was friendly and of lowly origin. you didn't think much of it.

at least not until the day hikaru asked if you could fetch something he forgot in the back room, completely ignorant to the fact that haruhi had come to the club early that day to ask for another uniform because she'd been accidentally thrown water at by two classmates of hers being stupid.

so when you opened the curtain and saw a small-sized girl with only her panties on desperately trying to hide herself from you, it didn't take more than a couple of seconds to put two and two together.

tamaki wasn't fascinated by the commoner errand 'boy' turnt host.

he wanted her.

you closed the curtain, giving the girl her privacy back and muttering an curt apology, "sorry." before deciding that hikaru would have to get his things himself.

neither haruhi nor you spoke about it again, and she never snitched to the host club about your discovery of her sex.

you liked to pretend it never happened, and that it never changed anything. but just like with tamaki, pretending doesn't go anywhere. the hints were there. his furiously blushed face when he stared at her, his protection of her when the twins teased her, his demands for kyouya to do things for haruhi because she'd like it, not even because she'd asked - well, the stage of denial didn't last long.

shortly after came anger. pure, unexplainable rage and envy. the fourth of the deadly sins was soon rushing through your veins like a drug you couldn't get clean from. 'why her?' you would ask in your rampages.

you couldn't figure it out, and you couldn't ask anyone either, because as infuriated as you were, hurting haruhi by revealing her identity wasn't on your to-do list.

not because you were a good person, god no.

rather, if tamaki knew you hurt his precious daughter - you barfed - like that, who knows if you'd see him again?

and so came the bargaining stage, with your rage never leaving your blood stream, of course. being petty was always one of your main personality traits, one that tamaki would often point out.

what did fujioka haruhi have that ln yn didn't?

'nothing.' you muttered to yourself.

nothing.

nothing?

could you be absolutely sure?

you didn't see her much outside of the club, and there were a couple of times you'd heard the hosts hung out together.

maybe they had a moment? or two, three?

perhaps it was high time you stopped bothering him. perhaps then he'd realise you were the one.

that's why your texts to him had much lessened, coming to a complete stop after roughly two months of your self-doubt and insecurities getting the best of you. so did your occasional visits to his house for studying. you'd even stopped wearing the perfume he got you as a birthday present last year, even though you couldn't find another scent that fit your tastes the same way.

despite your attempts at catching his attention, the bubbling fury in your chest rose once again when you realised that maybe tamaki didn't care about you at all.

he texted you as much as you texted him, he hung out with you only when you asked, and when he came closer to you and noticed the change in your scent, he went: "different perfume, princess?"

and while normally you'd be ecstatic at him noticing, your happiness was immediately destroyed when "the other one was a little old fashioned, good thing you moved to something more fresh."

why couldn't he say what he would have said had he been in an otome game, something among the lines of: 'did you wish to match mine?' or something cheesy like that? ...was your scent not to his tastes?

'did he forget his skills from hosting or what?' you whined.

consequently, now that you were sitting around doing nothing to reach out to tamaki or any of your 'friends', your mum couldn't help but take her phone in her hands to call her friend hitachiin yuzuha.

back in the pink room that is the host club, today's rendezvouses seemed to be going by awfully quickly for tamaki.

in the couple of minutes of break he had between the end of this rendezvous and next the one to come, he quickly found his phone from his back pocket and went over his schedule sent by kyouya.

your name had been crossed out and replaced with another one he recognised, another regular guest of his. he raised his eyebrow at that.

he lifted his head and looked for the shadow king.

"hey, kyouya?"

"hm?" kyouya didn't bother to look up from his laptop, furiously typing god-knows-what.

"why's yn's time gone?" he asked innocently in a curious voice that had you heard, you'd be swooning over.

"i told you, she cancelled due to personal business," his answer was straight-forward "although it's probably because she's ill."

ah, that makes sense, you were the one that cancelled.

wait, huh?

"what do you mean she's ill?" his eyebrows furrow a bit and he cocks his head to the side like a cute dog who doesn't understand anything its owner says.

"what do you mean, 'what do i mean'? she's been absent since monday because she's not feeling well, and she won't come today either. pretty simple." kyouya finally looked up at tamaki with a strange expression on his face. "has she not told you?"

tamaki shook his head a bit, "uhm.. no, not really." and tapped his phone again to check his messages on multiple social media apps to make sure he wasn't missing anything. his emails were empty too, only some spam from a newsletter page that he never bothered to cancel his subscription from.

"how do you know?" he questioned kyouya, but before he could answer, "no wait, don't answer that, you creep. of course you know." he sighed.

after some seconds of quiet thinking, "why didn't you tell me?" tamaki continued his questioning.

"everyone already knows, my lord." an awfully familiar voice butt in making the french boy turn his head around, resting his hand on his waist.

the voice belonged to kaoru, who had his arm wrapped around his twin's shoulders. seems like they also just finished with an appointment.

"what does that mean? who's 'everyone' and why am i not included?" tamaki crossed his arms, feeling kind of left out.

"that guy hayato or whatever who hangs out with yn and her friends was telling someone and we overheard." hikaru shrugged in unison with his doppelganger.

honey's soft voice entered the chat. "you mean hinata-kun? yn-chan's friend? yeah, he told me when i asked where yn-chan is because i thought she forgot to bring the candy she promised." he quickly grabbed a piece of cake from the fridge near where kyouya had been sitting and left the room swiftly.

huh, how convenient for him to enter for the plot.

"and why's it that you two evil bastards didn't bother to tell me?" tamaki exclaimed in disbelief, pointing a finger at the both of them. how could they? his precious childhood friend was sick at home and he didn't know?!

"sorry milord-" kaoru announced with his shoulders still raised, "-but you're always talking to yn-" hikaru joined, "-how were we supposed to know you're not asking her about her well-being?" they delivered the finishing blow together.

what were these lame jerks insinuating? 'not asking about her well-being'? what did they know? just as he went to respond with his usual barking, he stopped himself to instead text you on his own for the first time in a while. not that he noticed.

the twins looked at their king with a confused and weirded-out expression on both their faces, before glancing at each other and shrugging again, already disinterested. kyouya had long gone back to his work and so the twins walked to an empty sofa in an almost isolated area of the club, lying on top of one another to give a nice view to whichever client was into it.

about six minutes of pure silence passed between the two before kaoru's phone buzzed; a text from his mum.

the twins read the text simultaneously, with hikaru raising an eyebrow at its contents. they looked back at the slender boy texting you on his phone at the other end of the club, confused about his behaviour.

"seriously...?" hikaru quietly asked kaoru, referring to the text, only to be met with the other's puzzled expression.

as for the half-and-half boy, his fingers were anxiously tapping kyouya's table and awaiting your response to his message.

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: Hey darling! Is everything alright? I heard you didn't come to school because you're sick. I thought you just didn't feel like coming. Why didn't you tell me?

he didn't know you let out a deep sigh at his text, even if it was three days late. it gave you hope - false hope. that he'd started to pay attention to you again. maybe being distant worked-

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: want me to come over?

the question felt natural to him, you always visited his home but seldom did he ever visit yours. since you were sick, it made sense that you wouldn't come over this time.

yn>.< : arent u busy rn tho lol

your name on his phone had obviously been put there by you, his choice of emoji had been party hat for some reason.

"be serious, what does that even mean, tamaki?" you'd asked him one day during a break from your studying in his room.

"you don't like it..?" he pouted like usual and you rolled your eyes.

"here. that's better." you handed him his phone back with a new 'yn >.<' as your contact name.

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: I can just come after club activities.

wait, he was actually coming? after two months of your only contact being through your rendezvous? it worked?! it actually worked?!

you thought of how to answer him.

at your lack of fast response, tamaki thought of ways to help you feel better through your illness.

'aha! eureka!' tamaki's head echoed.

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: I'll bring some commoner snacks we can enjoy too! Commoners have incredible food to help alleviate illness!

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: What are you even sick with, anyway?

of course.

commoner food, of course.

haruhi's food.

yn>.< : lol no its fine i dont want u to get sick. ill just c u at sxhool yn>.< : school* yn>.< : doc said its just a cold but yk w my asthma n shit

tamaki was thoroughly disappointed with your response, what did you mean 'you didn't want him to get sick'? you'd never cared if you caught his cold.

his heart raced with worry, and he decided he would stop by anyway. knowing his next appointment was approaching, he speed walked over to the newest host.

"haaaaruuhiiiiii!" he waved his hand to her and her two clients, smiling widely with all of them smiling back at him.

"yeah? what is it, senpai?" haruhi looked up at him from her armchair.

"sorry to intrude-" he runs his hair through his locks - an action that you told him the ladies would swoon over, "-but i was wondering, do you have any recommendations for commoner food that sick people can eat?"

"...are you serious?"

#ohshc #ohshc fanfic #ohshc x reader #fanfiction #ouran high school host club #ouran host club #tamaki x reader #tamaki suoh x reader #tamaki suoh #light angst #x reader #suoh tamaki

140 notes · View notes

enden-k · 24 days

Note

(Sorry for the ramble but these 2 idiots have been stuck in my brain for days now)

Soo can we talk about the fact that after the meeting with Sunday, Ratio immediately asks if Aven is okay. Like my dude, you're still in the dream and are being watched, that's not how someone who just 'betrayed' another person acts.

Also, Aven being the one who has to subtly correct Ratio (at least thats the interpretation im going with) reminding him that they still have to act like they hate each other. (They're both geniuses in completely different ways, textbook definition of book smarts vs streets smarts)

ALSO, dispite that slip up from Ratio, Aven still doubting whether Ratio was acting or not (someone get this man a hug and some therapy I swear)

Anyways, I love these 2 idiots, and I hope we get to see more of their dynamic, specifically outside Penacony, bc I suspect most of what we saw was an act to trick The Family, and their actual dynamic hasn't been shown that much

its in ratios nature to be so harsh and not filtering, its just ratio

to shorten it, hoyo literally made him a tsundere. he calls aventurine an idiot and cares about his wellbeing. HIS SHY FACE IS HIM LOOKING ANGRY AND AVERTING HIS EYES HHHHHDHHHH its all so obvious

my thoughts/short ramble abt their dynamic utc

while all that happened was aventurine and ratio acting and fooling everyone, i dont think much in their dynamic would change outside of it. ratio is harsh and sarcastic and angry and loud etcetc (not out of malice) but he does care at the same time so i see him keep up his usual ratio-typical behavior towards aventurine - altho softening, toning it down, especially when aventurine is clearly suffering/behaving differently than you usually see him (like when he asked him if hes okay or when he thought he offended him) but other times harsh as usual, maybe even more aggressive when aventurine does get under his skin what a tsundere

(also, when you pair him with aventurine, he says (in his usual harsh way) "take care of yourself, i dont need your concern" - i think this shows really nicely how his dynamic/feelings toward aventurine are - harsh and caring in the same breath, aventurine is self destructive after all)

anw yea ig i derailed a bit sorry. i think ratio raised his usual behavior by some lvls than he would usually treat aventurine to not raise suspicions, trying to come off like he doesnt care and like aventurine is an unpleasant annoyance

the cutscene where aventurine is about lie and sentence himself? the look ratio gives him?

when aventurine is about to open the box that will expose his lie and he looks up to catch ratios gaze before he turns away ?

maybe im thinking too much into it, theres also prob different ways to interpret this but their lingering gazes, like a silent exchange between them underneath that act and ratio turning away when he gets his answer-

and yea like u mentioned ratios acting, his behavior towards aventurine, being so good that even aventurine is doubting if its an act or his true feelings towards him (giving him that hug myself!!!!!!)

anw thats my (not organized) thoughts tho, maybe their dynamic does change to smth entirely different than what i babble abt here, who knows. anw cant wait to see them reunite and show more!!!

#reply #headcanons #?#idk #hcs #rambles #hsr tag

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strawberryspence · 1 year

Text

this is PLATONIC. love can be platonic. and that’s what this is. if i see anything non-platonic stobin tagged in my rbs, i will delete this.

this is inspired of that quote from dolly alderton, “nearly everything i’ve known about love i’ve learned in my long time friendships with women.” i said the word love so many times, it’s not real anymore.

anw, happy stobin month. their friendship means so much to me. so here’s something sappy.🍦

“What is love?” El asks him, with that bright eye curiosity that makes her— that makes her the best of them all in more ways than one.

Steve blinks at her, dropping the whisk he’s holding and thinks.

What is love?

It’s easy.

Steve smiles to himself as he thinks of a time where he would have floundered for an answer, searched for it in the empty corners of his heart and home, in the unblinking red light on the voice machine; waiting for something, anything.

Nearly everything Steve Harrington knows about love he has learned from Robin Buckley.

First, Steve learns how to fall in love with the most unlikely person in the crowd. Robin was, and will always be a better person than him. From her, he learns how to fall in love, admit it, and accept the fact that it won’t always get reciprocated. That’s okay, because in exchange of that rejection, would be something better than he could ever imagine.

Love is a friend. A real friend.

Second, Steve learns that love— is love. It isn’t something meant to be put into a box, it isn’t just one thing. It’s not just girls for boys, or boys for girls. It’s for everyone, it’s for anything your heart wants.

And when he finally came to the realization that he didn’t fit that box too, Robin held him for hours. Assured him that it’s okay, that if that’s who he is, she will still love him because of it, never despite it.

Love is being true to yourself. It’s freedom while being held by your person.

Third, Steve learns that love can be quiet. It’s not always hiding under the covers as your parents fight from across the room, it’s not loud pounding music as the love of your life tells you that you’re bullshit.

It can be found in quiet afternoons, while reading a book with your best friend. It can be found in quiet evenings, as you both try to paint in silence. It was sitting, in a field behind a stolen RV, making molotovs in silence, both terrified they’d be dead tomorrow. It can be found in the middle of the night, after a terrifying, too real nightmare, just bundled together holding each other's hand.

Love is quiet. It’s peaceful and content, even when its hard.

Fourth, Steve learns that love— the real one— doesn’t have an expiration date. He once thought that it’s always been like that, that for him it’s always been meant to be like that. There is an end date. That one day day everyone he loves will realize what he truly is… bullshit. Like when his parents started to learn that he was too much, and too little of what they want and needed, they started leaving more often or when Nancy realized she deserved someone better, it’s over.

Maybe, he’s still waiting for the day when Robin finally realizes that she’s so much better than him, that she could find someone better, that Steve can’t really be her platonic soulmate. Because soulmates— God— they’re two halves of one whole. But how could he ever live up to that? He doesn’t think he could ever, not when Robin’s got all the good parts when they were split into half.

But there’s an unspoken trust. A tiny voice in Steve’s head that tells him, above all the noise and self loathing, a voice that sounds so similar to Robin’s says, “Robin won’t do that to you. Not ever.”

He holds onto that voice, clutches at it with shaking hands.

Love is… Love is there. And you will pray, and hope, and beg that it never leaves. But love is also trust, so you hold on with that blind faith.

Fifth, Steve learns that the best love— it’s in the in betweens.

Love is when Steve’s having the worst migraine, so Robin cleans the store for him instead. It’s when his best friend got him a brownie, because she thought he’d like it. It’s when his bestfriend brushed his hair after a rough night, even if it’s drenched in sweat and tears. It’s the scar in his thumb from when the vodka bottle broke as they made molotovs. It’s when she finally snaps and locks him and Eddie in the pantry so they can talk about their feelings. It’s her weirdly proud smile when she opens the pantry, and they’re making out like their lives depended on it.

It’s popcorn stuck in between the couch from movie nights. It’s paint stains in his favorite blue jeans from the one night they painted his room. It’s the chip on the plate when they were eating and she chipped it from laughing so hard. It’s that old post note on the fridge that says, “Got you milk, Dingus!” that he never removed.

Steve Harrington has learned of love from everyone. From Dustin, to Max, to Eddie, to the rest of the kids. Even Hopper and Joyce, from Nancy and Jonathan. In some ways, he’s learned from his parents too.

It’s all different.

But in his core. In his truest core, in his deepest soul.

It’s all from Robin Buckley.

El is still looking at him, with a fond smile, like she can see the montage playing in his head. You know what? Maybe she does see it.

“What is love?” Steve repeats her question.

El hums, nodding.

“Love is a U.S.S Butterscotch Sundae.”

El giggles at his answer as Steve winks at her.

Steve turns to the open window above the sink. There’s laughter coming from the yard, where the kids are playing in the pool. Eddie’s reading Nancy a book, as Jonathan and Argyle lounge around.

Steve meets Robin’s eyes, and she smiles at him, raises a hand to wave at him.

Steve waves back at love personified.

(In Steve’s room, there’s an old recipe book. Given to him by his Grandmother, it’s filled with different recipes, some 50 years older than him, some newer. There’s a piece of paper tucked in between the pages, with a blue and white border and a little sailor hat. It’s stained from use and dirt. It’s not old, it’s not new, it’s from two summers ago. It’s a handwritten recipe with a note at the bottom.

Harrington,

I wrote this down because you kept forgetting the freaking recipe for the USS butterscotch sundae. Keep it with you, you dingus.

Buckley.)

#THIS IS PLATONIC #MY PLATONIC SOULMATES #stobin rants #platonic stobin #stobin my favorite platonic soulmates #stobin #steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #they get to be happy and alive #daeheadcanons

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miku-meeku · 3 months

Text

[Unwanted Child.]

次はあなたの当たりがいいな I want to be your favorite next

i drew a doodle of my pc aubrey cuz i was vibing to milgram haruka songs and then i realised "haha unwanted children amirite"

anws i also did these ones these are supposed to be like, few days in when aubrey started living in the orphanage (and she's obviously really broken cuz her daddy and mommy literally gave her up so she's still adjusting or smth)

dont ask why theres a whitney, i just had to draw a whitney cuz i like drawing this mf

hm,,, i wanna make more dynamics of amy and aubrey since they're both living in the orphanage and since amy is considered a big sister there (she always takes care of the younger ones), she would obviously look after broken lil aubrey

and i guess aubrey would feel LOVED because someone is caring for her but at the same time, i feel like she would be jealous of amy? cuz amy is SPECIAL and everyone looks at her, which aubrey never gets all her life (maybe this only occurs after aubrey gets her dyed long hair drip cuz thats her phase of "bailey loves me more than mommy and daddy ever will" so at first, she's fine with amy until it's evident amy gets more LOVE than her and thats no good)

ight thats enough pc lore rambling my brain cooked up

have this last doodle i cooked up of her

#dol #dol pc #dol pcs #aubrey the unloved #amy the pure #dol whitney #whitney the bully #degrees of lewdity whitney #degrees of lewdity #meeks museum

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pristine-rose · 11 months

Note

so heres ur thrist alice when ur ready to show the world fr (got multiple charcters in this i was bored af and horny af)

ahem

Tattoo artist arrlechino who loves it when you cry and beg to take a break when shes tattooing you she just sighs and puts the plastic wrapping over your healing skin and tells you to shut up before dragging you behind the counter and into the staff room just to eat you out roughly (bonus if she has a tongue percing and its freezing cold touching your clit) you have to watch her bite your thighs and lick them while all you can do is sit there and wince bc you wont let her do her job‼️‼️‼️

Idol miko!!

idol miko just wanted to rebel against those ugly old ass men at the agency (taking ur trope bc ong its so good) . She hated the fact that they had no common sense like sure she would be stalked but doesnt she have a private area besides..They cant keep treating her like crap in this industry and starving and making her feel like entertainment and lying is the best way to live her life, Then she meets you conviently she laughs at the way your easily manipulated into having sex with her going on dates while she despises you yet she cant stop thinking and thinking.

All she can do is kill the emotion off but as she would have it your too cute to let go shes desperate clawing your thighs arms and neck suffocatting you while you go along with it her degarding you and you go along with it will you ever hate her? She finds it annoying yet adorable and shes inlove now and just as obssesed as you are maybe even more. She might steal your panties at night and weae them to shows. She’ll even pin you in public as a fan service moment just to piss off the agency and let the public know your owned

brat tamer and god complex ei

ugh i cant get her out of my head frkm the event anw tho

brat tamer ei is annoyed at the fact your so smug and cunning with the way you play your just like miko so she decides to get her trust strap out and hold the musu no hitotachi right at your neck ready to strike lightning at any given moment not afriad to cut in an instant

she has no place for those who wont listen to their god even in modern day society you can change but you can never forget your beneath her and always will be your just a lowly mortal

you should be begging for forgiveness right now.

and one last one to make everyone happy fr🗣🗣🙏

yelan bc i need her

foreplay and temp play w yelan

yelan is so teasing yet so sweet having her hydro ropes and dice roll around your neck she should just roll the dice and play the game at this point shes being so unfair and rude its removing want from your thighs but now on your brain

you just want her to destroy you make you forget you ever were this needy for her. You just wanna ride her thigh and cum all night or even sit on her face its pure desperation at this point you dont even know your so lost and half registering everything around you wanting something or the woman behind you to stop tightening the wet ropes around your body arousing you more

all you can do was sit there naked and look pretty on her lap as she has her warm thigh underneath you and cold and wet ropes and dice wrapped around your body playing with you

maybe if she rolled a 6 or 5 she could finally fuck you but you know yelan

somtimes being unlucky is lucky for her

-🤲 (mayb im being a bit to nice ill send u angst one day alice fr)

🧍‍♀️

#💌 : lovemail #🎐 : long ask #arlecchino smut #ei smut #yae miko smut #yelan smut #hu ! 💘#i. im. aa #WHYBWOULD YOU DO THIS #wait can i uh. take some of these #to expand on 🥺

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celestiababie · 1 year

Note

stay at home husband! mingyu massaging his wifes feet after a long tiring day at work ended up using her feet (or legs, wtv hes too desperate anw) to rub his cock pathetically

Stay At Home Dad/Husband!Mingyu Part 2...

Pairings: Stay at home husband! Mingyu x fem! reader

Genre: SMUT PURE FILTH, some fluff ig

Warnings: If you don't like foot stuff... don't read this. Teasing, humiliation, degrading, cum eating

Word Count: 1.519k

A/N: You guys really know what I'm into....I don't have a foot fetish or anything-but the concept of a desperate guy rubbing himself against my feet is 🥵 does that make any sense?

Anyway, I'm glad people are enjoying stay at home husband!mingyu. Send more of things with him hehe.

Series Masterlist

Y/DN = Your daughter's name...I didn't want to just make up a name everyone hated pfft

"Hey, baby. How was your day? You're home kind of late—" Mingyu froze as he examined how your tired body stumbled through the front door. As if it was instinct, his feet make its way towards you, setting your bag aside and bending down to help you take off your heels. You let out a sigh as you balance yourself by holding his shoulder, allowing your doting husband to service you with no complaints.

Mingyu slowly stood up and frowned at the tired expression on your face, his mind racing for ways to cheer you up. Mingyu took in your facial expressions and body language before a light bulb went off in his head. Your husband knew you better than anyone else and mastered ways to make you feel better after all these years. And he knew just the thing to help his wife relax after a frustrating day at work.

You let out a small yelp as your strong husband picked you up and carried you bridal style over to the couch in the living room. He sets you down gently, grabbing a few throw pillows and putting them behind your back. He plants a soft kiss to your forehead before sliding down to his knees in front of you.

"Tell me about your day, sweetheart," he coos out as his hand trace along your sore calves, kneading at the muscles before sliding down to your feet.

Mingyu was always good with his hands. He did everything with them. He made dinner, he fixed things, helped do your daughter's hair, he touched you in ways no man ever could. Mingyu somehow knew all the right spots to press down on and the right amount of pressure that made you sigh in relief.

You throw your head back as you begin to recall your day, "it was fucking terrible. My boss had the nerve to give a promotion to some other bitch who doesn't do half the work I do and yet I'm the one who still has to do overtime. If I'm so capable, shouldn't I be the one getting the promotion?"

Mingyu listens with full attention, nodding along to your frustrations as he dips his head to kiss up your leg.

"Of course you deserve it, you deserve everything. My wife is such a hard worker," he mumbles out, your skin muffling his words.

You let out another sigh as you allow your body to sink further into the couch, your legs spreading oh so slightly. Mingyu's eyes glance up for a split second, his gaze catching your underwear up your skirt.

After all these years, you'd think that little things like this didn't effect Mingyu, but they did. Even if he's seen you naked more times that he could remember, just a peek of your underwear could cause a stir in his pants.

God, Mingyu—now is not the time to get horny.

He curses to himself as he ignores the growing ache in his pants to focus on giving you a massage. But it only proved to make it harder (literally). With your head thrown back, the soft sighs and moans whenever he pressed down on the right spot, Mingyu's brain couldn't help but wonder.

Your body suddenly shifts to get more comfortable, causing your foot to accidentally graze the growing on in Mingyu's sweatpants. A soft whimper gets caught in Mingyu's throat and you quickly tilt your head down to look at him with a surprised but amused expression.

"Are you seriously turned on right now, Kim Mingyu?" You raise a brow at him as you test out the waters by raised a foot and slowly dragging it down his chest before pressing it down on his clothed cock.

"It's not my fault—" he moans out, his hips subtly bucking up against your foot.

You click your tongue, a smirk painted on your lips as you look at your husband.

"Is Y/DN asleep?"

"Mhm, I put her to bed already," he breathes out, wondering where this was gonna go tonight.

You nod your head as you press your food down harder on the bulge in his pants, your other foot raising to rub up and down his chest and stomach softly, just the tips of your toes touching him.

"What's got you turned on? Are you just that easy to please or have you had a thing for my feet all these years?" You ask with a teasing tone although you were genuinely curious if your husband managed to keep a fetish away from you for all these years.

The silence and blush on his face as he avoids your eyes is enough to tell you about your husband's dirty little secret. Oh, you were gonna have fun with this one.

"Wow, Mingyu. And here I thought you were just being a good little husband all this time, always offering it take my shoes off, always rubbing my feet for me. But it turns out you're just a fucking pervert. I bet you've thought about this so many times, hm?"

Mingyu's breath hitches as he rests his head on your thigh, trying to contain himself as your foot begins to rub against his leaking cock, precum staining his sweatpants.

"Answer me or else I stop and leave you with nothing."

Your words quickly illicit a response out of him, his head raising from your thigh, his eyes wide and puppy-like.

"Only a few times, I swear. I- I'm not a pervert,baby."

Another whimper leaves his lips as you rub your foot faster.

"I don't think I believe you, baby. But, now I know just the thing to take my mind off of work."

With desperation laced in his voice and lust filled in his eyes, he breathes out, "anything for you baby. Anything. Tell me, please."

His eagerness to make you feel better send a chill right to your core, almost distracting you from your main plan.

Almost.

"I wanna watch my pretty boy cum all over my feet. That's all you get tonight for being such a pervert while giving me a massage," you spit out. A voice in your head nearly yells at you for being mean to your husband who deserved the world, but his eager nod silences your inner voice, showing you how much he was enjoying it.

Mingyu focused on taking care of you and your needs always. You always came first and he refused to let you do things for him. It was a nice (and sexy) change of pace to give your husband exactly what he wanted.

Mingyu tugs his sweatpants down his thick thighs, his cock springing out and slapping against his stomach. You nearly let out a moan as you hungrily gazed at his pretty cock, his tip was so red it looked painful as precum dripped out of him. You positioned your feet together in front of his cock and slowly worked his cock in between the soles of your feet, your panties getting soaked from his reactions.

With a tight grasp on your ankles, Mingyu stopped your movements to fuck himself in between your feet. His entire body shudders from pleasure, heavy breaths and moans leaving his body as more precum oozing out of him, glistening in the dim light of the living room.

"You're so good to me— so, so good. Baby, I'm not gonna last."

His pace quickens, louder moans leaving his mouth, his brows furrowed as he chases after his orgasm.

"Cum for me, baby. Give me all your cum, my pretty little husband."

That's all it takes for Mingyu's his hips to stutter, his jaw dropping as he paints your feet with cum. A hearty groan leaves his lips as he rides out the blissful feeling for as long as possible.

He lets out a dazed laugh as he calms down, looking up at you with a shy smile.

"Sorry 'bout the mess," he whispers out, his fucked out smile warming your heart more than it probably should.

"It's okay, baby. Clean it up for me?" You raise your feet up to his lips, giggling at the way Mingyu kisses and licks his cum off of your feet and legs, moaning at his own taste.

The two of you stayed in the living room for a few more minutes, enjoying each other's company before getting ready for bed since you had work tomorrow (unfortunately).

Now comfortable in pajamas, Mingyu in a new pair of sweatpants, you lay under the covers with your head on his chest. Your hand traces his stomach as you allow yourself to sink into your thoughts.

You knew Mingyu loved you more than anything and you knew he knew you loved him. But maybe you were a selfish wife at times. It wasn't your fault that Mingyu was a giver, constantly refusing your help. But after tonight, after seeing Mingyu fall apart from giving into his wants and needs...maybe it was a good idea to start giving back to your loving husband.

"Mingyu?"

He hums a response, waiting for you to say more.

"Is there anything else you're into that I don't know about? I promise I won't judge. You looked really sexy tonight."

Mingyu tenses up, taking a few moments to go over whether or not he should give an honest answer. He hated lying to you and was practically incapable of doing so...and he could tell you seemed to enjoy tonight so, why not give it a shot?

"Have you ever heard of pegging?"

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indouloureux · 2 years

Note

So, I'm totally for the one when the reader is being all supportive of Joseph Quinn and "fuck the haters" when he gains weight, but goddamn it, what about us??? The reader – probably a girl because beauty standards plague us worse – would probably be waaaay more likely to end up like that situation. The man can cook his ass off from what we understand and clearly doesn't skimp on the fine dining. Just thinking about the relationship weight is giving me anxiety. (Don't judge me. I was a teenager in the early 2000s. I'll never have a healthy body image.)

tl;dr: Being deliriously happy with Joe has resulted in weight gain. Your self-worth is inversely affected.

the thing about people and difficult ass beauty standards is yes!! it's hard to feel like you're normal when people have these standards that you "need" to have for you to feel like you belong. it's annoying af and like the people who even say that shit don't even look good themselves

anw enjoy this honey — tw: body image??

the thing that you both hate and love about him is how observant he can be.

he knows when you're upset about something, and he can easily get rid of that frown off your face. he knows when you don't want to talk about it and he can just hold you until you tell him; he knows when something entices you or when something bothers you, and he knows damn well when something's wrong.

patient, he took his time. he watches you from afar, sees how your excitement hinders every single day you come home from work to see him cooking in the kitchen. and there's this painful squeeze in his chest when he doesn't see the anticipating glint in your eyes anymore; when he sees you visibly debate on something he can't fathom. he's only ever good on reading your emotions, anyway.

(reading your mind? still something he needs to master.)

what concerned him more was when he caught you staring at yourself in front of the mirror for too long. eyes dull as if you were in a daze, even though you've got your eyebrows furrowed like you're glaring at yourself. when he'd approached you, wrapped his arms around your bare waist and asked what was wrong, you said that it was nothing, that you thought your shoulders were too slump. joseph knew it was a lie, and opted to lay beside you on the bed quietly as he watched you observe every ridge of your blunt nails.

then when you both went out and ate a bowl of salad and that only. and when you refused to wear your own shirts and wore his because they were larger than you (it's unusual because you wore it to work); when you've eaten half of what he cooked and he ended up feeding the rest to the stray dog outside your home.

things he noticed, observed, and he's had enough of just watching and waiting for you to speak; had enough of watching you hurt yourself without no one to aid when he's right there — the man who's come to sage your breaking heart.

joseph hears your slow and heavy footsteps from outside the hallway, the clinking of your keys as you shove it into the keyhole and twist to open the door. he sets the spatula down, turns the stove off before he's wiping his hands on his thighs and leaves the kitchen to see your tired structure.

and despite your intramural battle, his heart warms when he sees your relieved smile once your eyes settled on him and his cute apron. you kick your shoes aside, keys thrown to a small bowl aside. joseph opens his arms, where you desultorily fall into. your ear right on his beating heart, his arms encasing you like a coat in a rainstorm, all warm and loving as he pulls you to his chest as you let out a deep sigh.

your forehead rubs on his chest. "hi, joey."

"hi, honey," he murmurs, kissing the top of your head. "how's work?"

he senses you tense a bit, only for the rigidness on your shoulders to dissipate when his thumbs caress the nape of your neck. "'s fine. boring. but it was alright. everyone's being..."

judgy he expects you to say. what you want to say.

"being knotty...? they've got a stick up their ass for some reason."

joseph laughs, letting his hands run through the knots in the silk of your hair. "that sucks, love," he jesters, unwrapping an arm around you to guide you to the kitchen.

"what'd you do today?"

"a bit boring too," he takes your bag, setting it aside and rubs the sore spot it left. "cleaned a bit. worked out. and um, cooking."

he should have expected for you to break away from his grasp ever so slightly when he said that. joseph sees your eyebrows raise, weakly reaching up the cupboard to take a glass out. "how long you've been cooking?"

"twenty minutes," he answers, watching you pour yourself a glass of water. he sees the way you drink it in three large gulps, hurried with a shaking hand. "it's done now, though. want to eat?"

you shake your head. his chest pangs. "not. not now. i-um, need to go to the bathroom. 'm not hungry yet."

joseph blinks, gently taking the glass from you and places it on the sink. "yeah sure," he says, placing his hands on your shoulders to guide you to the bathroom inside your room, hands massaging the tension off. "tell me when you want to eat, yeah?"

nodding, you press your cheek on top of his knuckles before you shrug them off and disappear behind the door. and he waits patiently on the bed until he hears the door unlock, seeing your face wet with the collar of his your shirt damp, half your makeup off as you gently wipe your skin with a towel.

with his hands on his lap and a small pout on his face, he sees you grab a shirt of his and your own sweatpants, leaving to disappear behind the bathroom once more. which deepens his frown 'cause you never change there. it was always out here in the bedroom, in front of the mirror while he watched. and the sight of you about to open the doorknob makes him sit up and stand to take your wrist into his hand.

"where you going?"

you furrow your eyebrows. "to the bathroom."

"but you never change there."

"yeah well...you're here..."

a squeeze on his heart. "alright, honey. come on," he takes your clothes off your hands, gently setting it on the bed as he tugs on your hands. you watch as he sits down on the thick mattress, his legs on either side of your thighs, hands tight on yours.

"jo," you chuckle. "i'm gonna get changed. i smell," you sniff your shoulder. "a bit. i smell like rain."

"don't care," he kisses the back of your hands, closing them around his and tucks them beneath his chin. "what's up, bug, hm? you've been sad these past few weeks. you've rarely eaten."

you rub his chin with your thumb, feigning incredulous laughter as if you've got no clue what he's saying. "what are you talking about? i eat. like, everyday."

"yeah, but not alot like you used to," joseph pouts. "is it my food? my cooking's not great these days?"

guilty, you coo silently at the sight of slight shame on his face. "no, honey. cooking's amazing. always been. 's just that..."

there's a pregnant five second pause of you staring guiltily into his eyes that look up at you. joseph's still got your joint hands beneath his chin, your knuckles feeling up his growing stubble. his eyebrows raise as if to say "go on," but your silence meant that you're hesitating. and he beats you to it.

"lovie, you know i won't judge," he gently breaks away from your hands to untuck your shirt. your hands fall limply to your sides as his run up the delicate silk of your top, until his fingers trace your collar. "come on. talk to me please."

a plea that's almost a command. your hands wrap around his wrist when he begins unbuttoning your shirt, eyes still on his that waits for you to speak.

"'just felt like i've gained weight," you murmur when he's at the second button. "i heard some of the guys during lunch how-...how my thighs are bigger than usual. or how my shirt got tighter or how my cheeks have- have grown. or something. i dunno."

it's like his whole body shrinks from how tight your words had gripped his chest, and he wonders how you felt after your confession. by the time he's at the second to the last button, you stop him by grasping his hands tightly. "aw, love,"

"it's probably just stupid—"

"stupid, what?" he scoffs, his hands leaving to place themselves on your waist. "it's not stupid, baby. it's your feelings. it's your thoughts. this will never be stupid," you run your hand through his hair. "how long has this been going on?"

"couple weeks," you mutter, playing with his curls as your shoulders rise and drop into a dismissing shrug. "maybe a month. 's why i haven't really eaten much. sorry if you thought i hated your cooking,"

"no no no," he unbuttons the last buttons, where you allowed him to push his shirt back to expose your bare stomach. "honey, nothing's your fault. it's theirs. you look the same to me, lovie,"

his warm hands caress your stomach, running up and down onto your thick flesh that he rests his chin on. you smile lightly, your throat aching. "i feel, i don't know, like something's wrong. i'm—" you swallow thickly. "like i'm fat, or something."

"you're not fat," he kisses your stomach, nuzzling his nose right above your belly button. "you're the same. you're still you. ignore what they say, honey, they're stupid." joseph looks up at you. "you're beautiful."

"i said i was fat not ugly."

"still beautiful. let me compliment my darling,"

you laugh when he keeps on pressing soft kisses on every part of your stomach with muffled groans. "joey,"

"you are amazing," he squeezes your thighs. "you're not fat honey. if you gained weight, then there's nothing to be ashamed about it, is there," he wrinkles his nose at you. "still beautiful. still accepted. people may not like you but i do. you don't need to care about what they think, eh?"

you take his face into your hands and squeeze his cheeks. "honestly, the whole weight gain thing just means i'm happy with you. fuck whatever they say, right?"

"right," he shakes your thighs. "fuck them. they probably have receding hairlines. 'bout to go bald and they're not even fifty."

you snort, leaning down to tilt his head up and press a feverish kiss on his lips. joseph hums, his hands tight on the back of your thighs. "that was mean," you murmur against him.

"well they were meaner," he kisses your stomach again. "whatcha say, huh? let's eat?"

his heart flips when he sees you nod.

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