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vegetalass · 4 years

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can i get uhh, the boys dating a dominant woman/person for the first time 👁👁 can be nsfw or not, your choice! if it’s silly you don’t have to fill it- btw i love ur your writing muah

👁👁 Wow…… Anon, you’re my best friend now and ily… Dominant HCs unlock my sharingan tbh… but my taste is actually really particular and not very mainstream so i really hope that this is what you had in mind and is suitable! Hopefully this is nsfw-enough for you!!

18+!!!

sorry everyone because i went crazy again and this is super…. Long…..

Lowkey this is me @ myself rn tho for finishing this (although tell me why this sounds like the way abigail talks to john LMFAOOO)

Arthur

Despite being the biggest yes-man on the planet, he’s not really used to being considered the “submissive” one in any relationship

He’s big and tough looking, so anyone who can get up in his face and boss him around is pretty commendable in his eyes

Especially if it’s a romantic partner

It’s a little awkward at first because he’s so used to being the one providing for everyone, that being taken care of, or even just having his needs thought about, really makes him 🥺😳

To him, what’s attractive about having a dominant partner is partially just knowing that he doesn’t have to hide anything about himself

You WANT him to be himself, and will call him out when he’s not

In a way, he also honestly doesn’t mind not having to be there for you 24/7

That isn’t to say he’s not prepared to fight for and protect you, but knowing that you’ll stand by his side and always tell him how you really feel brings him a great deal of comfort

If you fight with him about joining him for rides, bounties or chores for Dutch...

Not only does it make the trips easier, but it also starts making the sex better

Basically... AFTER WORK SEX!!

(Sorry mom, please forgive me)

And while it doesn’t happen at first... Once you let the pet names start slipping, he’s officially a goner

The more intense they are, the better

Sweetie, Baby, Sugar, Pookie, etc. all have him melting in a puddle

Especially if you’re nonchalant about it and pretend not to notice what it does to him

All soft smiles and “Arthur, Baby, tell me where you left Charles’ bow?”

Yes, he has to pass away

(Not really though because we already lost him once)

Once you start sharing a tent/cot/bed.... You have to be the big spoon

People might disagree with this… But he is just in love with you trying to wrap both your arms around him and the way you throw your leg over his hip

Cuddle him like a teddy bear and squish his face in your chest PLEASE

It makes him feel loved and needed… And frankly… He deserves it

(I actually have this down as inspiration for a fic, but…) I just imagine your relationship being one where you’re the one who makes him take care of himself, where you’re always trying to make sure he’s healthy and you do all the shopping for him and you’re the one to pick out all his new clothes.... And you make him stand still for you as you hold them all up to his chest to make sure they fit him right

And he squirms when you touch him

He just feels good knowing that people see him being loved and getting taken care of

Basically, as long as it’s genuine, just treat him like your baby and he’s yours forever

John

HOOO BOY

We already know this guy likes dominant people (*cough* Abigail *cough*)... But I really can’t lie to y’all… He’s a simp

The Absolute King of Simps

At the beginning of your relationship, just as you’re getting serious and he’s begging to realize you aren’t namby-pamby, you could say anything to him and he’d just turn into a huge blushing fool

Stuttering and everything when you ask him for things or for his help

Kisses are all opened-eyed, intense, and focused

He brings you some wildflowers that he found laying around and when you reach out to try to kiss him in thanks...

You guessed it, he passes away

Once you get more comfortable with each other, if you start standing up to Abigail on his behalf... He’d do anything for you

Not that he doesn’t care for Abigail, but it’s easier when he has backup and someone around who doesn’t tell him that he’s shitty all the time

Watching you get annoyed when Abigail says something mean makes him feel better

Before this all started, though, he has to admit that he did have a little fun trying to have secret sex with you before you came out as a couple

Loves it when you start toying with his clothes when he’s around....

Do things like stick your hands in his pockets or hold onto his suspenders or belt loops as he’s walking or passing you by

That thing you sometimes see old married couples do when one has their arms wrapped around the other while they’re doing something boring and mundane like sitting around

Um... Do that to him

Since he’s bad with expressing himself and has been verbally brutalized by Abigail on more than one occasion, his favorite thing is really just physical contact...

Especially if you aren’t shy about it

Okay I’m gonna day something controversial.... Straddle him... thanks and goodnight everybody

“John?” You call to him, though it’s more of a call for attention than a question, “Kiss me.”

Lowkey this shit has me so fucked up bro

Charles

When he first realizes he’s pursuing someone more dominant than him, he’s a little bit… at a loss

He was raised a respectable gentleman, always taught to treat his partners delicately, so when he starts dating someone so bold and unafraid, it’s a little bit confusing to him

That’s not to say he doesn’t like it… but it’s honestly just unusual that he’s not exactly intimidating to you

Most people find him quite large and overpowering, and never hesitate to question his skills as a natural leader... so having someone around him who takes the reigns from him ends up being a nice change

He just never really knew there was another option for him

This applies to sex, too, as he highkey enjoys sitting back and letting you take charge and pamper him

He also ends up becoming really appreciative of the fact that you never hesitate to fight alongside him or take over what he’s doing

If Dutch ever sends you on a mission together… it’s over for anyone who gets in your way

He’s absolutely in love with the way you’re able to handle yourself around big tough guys

And if you have a sharp tongue, that’s even better

The more headstrong and passionate about your beliefs you are, the better, basically

Literally power couple vibes only

Even if you just started dating, if you say anything mean to Micah… he’s going to get a boner

Even just seeing you fight with people, verbally or physically, is also a turn on

Not even bothered if anyone tries to clown for being into someone dominant

Cue him: *thinking about all the times you’ve had bomb ass sex* *sunglasses emoji*

Your sex life is basically a Megan Thee Stallion song

Sorry, I don’t make the rules

Lowkey if you ever told him to shut up or be quiet during an argument or sex he’d be 100000000x more in love with you

As long as you always have a mutual respect for one another and others, he’s gucci with practically anything else

Micah

Knowing what we know about Micah… This one is a little bit tough

In the beginning, despite his obvious attraction, he will most likely try to fight with you and try to put you “back in your place”

Obviously, this absolutely does not work and he loses the fight every time

But once his anger turns into sexual attraction... It feels good to just give up

It’s definitely kind of a sore subject for him, at first

Not that he doesn’t want to be with you, but he’s afraid of being seen as weak after talking all his big shit

Even after you start dating, it takes awhile for him to truly calm down

His eventual submission is partially based on the fact that he doesn’t want people to think he’s a bad boyfriend

And the line is already very thin

Honestly, just pull your big ol’ puppy dog eyes on him (and/or threaten to leave him) and he’ll just sigh and go along with whatever you want

He’s both surprised and unsurprised that it becomes such that he has to “earn” any affection from you

You don’t really express this outright, but you both know it’s all deliberate

He begins to like the feeling of giving in and making you happy, and though it takes him awhile to get used to, he definitely starts to like pleasing you (and yes, in every single way), as well

It’s an accomplishment that he can actually take pride in

Especially since you started withholding affection from him when he gets a little too high on his horse

Knowing you’re pleased with him and seeing you happy, along with the kisses (and… more) he knows he’ll receive later, is the reward in and of itself

Lowkey just proud of the fact that he can keep a fighter happy

Honestly, I’m just imagining him being all grumpy about having to do something for you, but still doing it anyway

“But Micah, I thought you wanted to make me happy?” Or “Awe, Micah, don’t make me sad…”

He’s like “Smh, fuck” because you know he can’t resist when you’re being s✨a✨s✨s✨y

If you ever call him Daddy to tease him, he 100% will call you Mommy

Dutch

Please pussy whip this dude, PLEASE

He literally deserves nothing less

He’s so used to being with docile and private girls that the attraction to you is not only needed, but also very natural

He notices it at first by the way you stare at him

It’s a curious look, not exactly mean, but not exactly kind either

As we know, he doesn’t really like it when people challenge his ideas, but for some reason, whenever it comes to you… He’s willing to lend an ear to hear what you have to say

That being said, most of the time it’s just to tell him to stop picking on Arthur or siding with Micah (because what else would it be about? 🤡)

Micah gets pissy about this and tries to tell Dutch to stop listening to you, but you just tell just tell him off, too

Dutch is always surprised that he finds this attractive

Honestly, being with someone who he considers to be on the same level as him is very alluring

The fact that you value your own opinions as much as he values his…

It’s spicy, basically

Most of the time, you have to force him to give you affection

Not by begging, but by demanding

Hold out your hand until he holds it, or strip in a place where he can see you but can’t touch

(Tie him up *cough*)

And when he’s standing around camp, busy doing work or talking to people, hug him from behind, drape yourself on him, or make a place for yourself on his lap… ANYTHING to distract him and to get what you deserve

It drives him crazy, but at the same time, he can’t resist a lil brat like that

That being said…at the same time, he is also someone who needs to earn affection from you

He doesn’t realize this, but you are just as stubborn as he is, and as soon as he realizes he’s been ignoring you for too long and you’ve stopped giving him any attention… WHEW!

He will really start acting like a clown just to get you to touch him again

Especially if he sees you pretending to twirl your hair around the other boys in camp

Eventually, he discovers he needs to beg for you

Give you things, call you sweet names, massage you, take you on trips out of camp, have Pearson give you extras... Anything and everything to show you that he’s sorry

It works… eventually… and when you’re finally together… unbutton his clothes and pull his hair to tell him how he makes you feel

Steal the cigar from straight out of his mouth and start to smoke it... See what he lets you do to him later

Turned on by the fact that he thinks you need him and he needs you, but at the same time, definitely down to be a cuck if you ask

It takes a while, but he turns into a total “Yea, Dear” and “Anything for you” type eventually

Unfortunately, though he likes praise, it’s not fun to give it to him simply because he already thinks he’s so great

No you’re not, King, I promise...

Kieran

God, it’s really not hard to be the dominant one with him

He’s used to being told what to do, so when he starts noticing his attraction to you, there’s no surprise why

That being said, it’s definitely more of a gentle dominance he finds himself drawn to

While his general efforts at existing often go unnoticed by most, it’s the praise you give him that really gets him the most in the beginning

Later, that evolves into being praised in the bedroom… But that’s a story for another time *winky face*

All I have to say… Handjobs

Also… edge him

Okay bye now for real

It’s very likely you’ll have to start the relationship off slow, but before you know it, he’ll be wrapped around your finger

That being said, do not abuse this power *insert gun emoji*

Of course he needs to be bossed around, but it has to be with good intentions

“Kieran, Sweetie, would you mind taking my horse out today?” And “Kieran, could you please get the washing bins set up for me?” AND “Kieran, would you mind grabbing something for me, babe?”

The list goes on and on and on... and yet he is happy to do it all for you

It’s all in the way you whine his name

Because yes, you got him.

Also, please tease him

While he is a pretty shy about it, he has to admit he loves that the way you poke fun at him makes his heart beat fast

“Aw, Kieran, don’t be shy!” And “You like that, huh?”

Initiate lots of PDA, since he absolutely loves it but is too shy to do it himself

Kiss him on the cheek, drag him around by the arm, play with his hair, ANYTHING, and he’s putty in your hands

Flash him in public…………....

Praise Jesus

YES, HE IS THE LITTLE SPOON!

Javier

Javier thinks very highly of himself, so meeting and falling for someone dominant is actually very surprising to him

This is partially due to the fact that because he thinks so highly of himself, he’s never visualized his relationship as anything other than with him as the top

Once your relationship takes off, however, he realizes that he actually doesn’t mind being the one who gets taken care of

He is quite spoiled, after all

That being said, he is probably very private about the whole thing, mostly because he’d be the most sensitive about getting teased for being “submissive”

Once the honeymoon phase is over, though, it’s a lot easier to treat him the way you want to

Wear clothes that belong to him, especially clothes that he likes

Not only does he think this is extremely sexy, but it also means that he has a harder time choosing his own outfits

Plus, he loves a good strip tease…

Dodge him when he tries to kiss you or cover his lips with your fingers

Then tease him when he thinks you’re done and keeps trying to give you affection

The best way to get him to pay attention to you is by ignoring him

It’s not as severe or as serious as it with Dutch, but pretending you don’t see him when he’s showing off or talking to you immediately gets you whatever you want

It’s all in good fun, though

P u l l h i s h a i r

ESPECIALLY if you’re trying to get something from/out of him

Highkey, this dude loves cuddles

They’re one of the few things he’s open about begging for

You can tease him for this, but as long as you give in and just… hold him… he’s a very happy boy

Big fan of spooning but also of just being tangled up with you in any which way…

It doesn’t matter if he’s laying on you or you’re laying on him

Both are good

Lowkey... do nasty things to him at the campfire

It doesn’t even have to be that nasty, even just putting your hand on his inner thigh or up his shirt is enough to Put Him on High Alert

Pinch him...

Just… pinch him, please.

He likes it

Despite enjoying your dominance, at the end of the day, he doesn’t mind it if you get a little bratty and demanding sometimes, too

Especially in the bedroom *winky face*

#rdr2 #rdr2 headcanons #red dead redemption 2 headcanons #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #GOD i need to be arrested immediately #i started writing this at like 5 am which is why it had to be so long (because I accidentally made Arthur's and John's parts long)#it would've been out earlier but i had lots of hw #even tho its only the second day of class SMH #i skipped hosea bc i lowkey couldnt do my peepaw like that #and sean because it was already 8 pages on google docs #you can always request more tho!#my call for requests only got me 2 asks #so theres lots of space for you to *micophone* SEND ME REQUESTS #either way i hope u all like this bc im embarassed #and while im here... yes u do peg them... but i know not everybody is into that so its optional #I had fun with it though because i love having *cough* boys *cough* whipped #Anonymous #anon

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daily-dose-of-imagines · 4 years

Text

Hitmen AU! | Head Canons | 19+ [Haikyuu!!]

KΛЯΛƧЦПӨ [PART i] [PART ii] [PART iii]

Here’s the second part to the head canons for Karasuno~~~ Once the main head canons and ideas for all of Karasuno are out I’ll start dropping more random little one-shots hehe

Again! Feel free to ask questions or request anything from this AU! (Once again, specify so that I know~!)

» » Admin Ko

»»————-　♔　————-««

N̷i̷s̷h̷i̷n̷o̷y̷a̷ ̷Y̷u̷

Where to even begin with this boi

He’s definitely one of the more chaotic members of the group that’s for sure

Always testing out new skills and tricks he’s learned from those around him

and god forbid the internet

There have been one too many times where one of his veteran members or even the rookies walk in on him doing something rather peculiar which has him more or less flustered and embarrassed

Out of all of the members, he’s one of the most rambunctious

Always happily chatting away on any topic without a care in the world

Usually ends up in mock spars with Tanaka with Ennoshita reluctantly being the scorekeeper and 3rd man in just in case one of the two happens to go a little too far with getting a win

He seems to be the most normal at first, but when he began talking about various torture methods and the effectiveness of each with horrifying accuracy and knowledge says otherwise

He’s the inventor of the group, always testing his new discoveries in torture and information gathering

is the “bad” cop when the victim they’ve captured hasn’t broken from Tsukkishima’s relentless psychological torture

“ALRIGHT~! IT’S FINALLY MY TURN~!”

Giddy and impatient, the shortest member of Karasuno surged forward with surprising silence as his sepia eyes practically glowed with unhinged insanity.

The victim began sweating profusely as the taller of the pair merely sighed at his senior before backing off. The blond refused to get caught up in another one of his senior’s hi jinks.

“Oh? Focusing on something other than me? You’re quite brave! I like that! That means we’re gonna have a nice long conversation!”

A wicked grin spread along the energetic male’s face as the victim finally noticed the oddly shaped object in his hand.

“Oh this? I wanted to try out this new peeler...”

The shiver that ran down the victim’s spine was one long overdue as the sudden pressure he felt from the man before him came barreling down in waves. His previous giddy attitude now replaced by utter silence as his umber eyes bore deeply into his soul.

Appearance wise, Noya has by far, the most tattoos out of the other members. Each one gained after successfully learning a new skill

he may be the shortest in their group, but he is one of the strongest

normally, his hair would be in it’s signature slicked up state, but with how often he’s training and testing new skills it’s usually stuck in a half gel half bed head state

With his s/o he’s overly energetic and practically smitten

it’s a running joke that before he met his s/o he and Tanaka would be at Kiyoko’s heels trying to woo her

of course that all came to an abrupt end when he met his s/o

Despite being a busy bee, Noya tries his best to make time for them whenever he’s not assigned on info gathering assignments

He usually likes to koala cling to them when they’re in the vicinity

and has tried on many occasions to convince them to just live with them at their establishment

R̴y̴u̴n̴o̴s̴u̴k̴e̴ ̴T̴a̴n̴a̴k̴a̴

Another one of the chaotic members of the group

loves to be called senpai by the rookies (Noya loves being called senpai too sksk)

one of the main chasers of the group

is also the designated driver when on larger group missions because of his, well, chaotic driving

In a sense, he’s kind of the delivery boy? Lol

He once tried to be a part of the interrogation team but it was concluded that Noya and Tanaka together ended with the victims dead sooner than anticipated

Is the chaser, a.k.a. any assignments that think they can run away with Tanaka on their tail has another thing coming

Despite being loud and chaotic, is sometimes forgotten as he is the last resort for when targets manage to escape

“Oh ho ho~! Finally something to do besides watching Hinata get his ass handed to him!” An small ‘Hey!’ coming from the background as the male stood at the entrance of their base. Motorcycle helmet in hand as a sinister and wicked grin graced his features.

“Any sorta restrictions boss?” A glance over his shoulder at the figure leaning against the staircase pillar. The figure in question merely gave him a blank stare as Tanaka couldn’t help but chuckle.

“No traces. Gotcha. Since I don’t have any restrictions....I’ll be filing my report late~.”

With that, the excited male made his way out and onto his bike. A quick rev of the engine and a wave to the rookies the Chaser set out to catch his prey.

Like Noya, Tanaka is a ripped boi and covered in not only battle scars but tattoos of his accomplishments against hard enemies

He has a shaved head, with some tattoos on his scalp

Hinata thought it was the coolest shit ever and wanted one too but Sugawara stopped him from shaving his own head

Likes the delinquent school look so tries to stick as close to it as he can

With his s/o he’s surprisingly gentle

treats them like royalty and grovels at their feet

He spends most of the day with them unless the rookies really fuck up sksksk

loves having his hand in their back pocket or hooked around one of their belt loops

C̷h̷i̷k̷a̷r̷a̷ ̷E̷n̷n̷o̷s̷h̷i̷t̷a̷

plz help this boi

is the unspoken boss for the second batch of recruitments

has to deal with Tanaka’s and Noya’s bullshit constantly

He’s part of the defense team in not only the technical side, but physical side if need be

is a whizz with the cyber end when customers purchase their services

is the one who runs the assignments by Daichi first before assigning and handing them out to the members

the rookies rely on him heavily and the recruitment gang during his time dote and love to try and help or... annoy the hell out of him (read, Tanaka and Noya)

“So this is the assignment for the week. If we’re successful it’ll be $50,000.” Stern, yet soft spoken the male handed the younger a manila envelope.

“You’ve trained hard for this. So we expect little to no fuck ups----” He began before a loud and the beginnings of a headache began to form as the younger male began to slowly back away. Promising to fulfill the assignment with no issues before scurrying off as shouts began in the common room.

“DAMN NOYA YOU REALLY IMPROVED THAT FROM LAST TIME!”

“DON’T UNDERESTIMATE MY SHEER WILLPOWER RYU!! HAHAHA!”

“TANAKA! NISHINOYA! WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY ABOUT TESTING IN THE FUCKING COMMON ROOMS?!”

Is lean like Sugawara

and like the rest of the members of Karasuno, he has at least one tattoo on his body

soft fluffy bed hair 25/8 because baby deals with all the bullshit that is rookies and tananoya antics

has dark circles, not super intense but can be seen close up

is fairly normal with his s/o

though he doesn’t get to see them as often

anytime he gets with his s/o is coddle time

he pulls out all the romantic shit in one sitting or it’ll be all the sexy shit in one sitting it’s never really one or the other

loves to lay his head on s/o’s lap

H̴i̴s̴a̴s̴h̴i̴ ̴K̴i̴n̴o̴s̴h̴i̴t̴a̴

one of the few quiet members of their squad

was actually very reluctant on joining the team initially, but persevered through and stuck with them

is one of the other inventors

is more of the practical one and keeps noya from doing anything too out of hand

doesn’t mean he doesn’t start shit on his own though sksksk

likes to spar with Ennoshita (since he won’t have to worry about a surprise rolling thunder a.k.a rolling and shooting a powerful taser from yours truly)

“Kinoshita-san!” Pausing his work, the male in questioned glanced to the lab entryway as he cocked his head to the side at the sight of the rambunctious deviant duo before him.

“...Yes?” He asked hesitantly, already feeling a gnawing feeling in his gut that whatever was about to be asked was going to end up with him in the following situations

Wreaking havoc and being scolded by Ennoshita

Wreaking havoc and being scolded by Daichi

Wreaking havoc and being scolded by both Ennoshita and Daichi

None of which sounded appealing to him as he mentally prepared himself to reject whatever demands the pair wanted. Though of course that didn’t come to pass as the scream of, “ROLLINGU....THUND....AAAAARRRR!!!!!!” echoed throughout the base as a thud resounded and the base. At this point, it was to no one’s surprise that Ennoshita was already on his way to give Nishinoya an earful as the two demons blinked slowly before backing away.

“N-Never mind!”

Ah yes, the power of being able to deter chaotic activities. Kinoshita wished he had that ability as he resumed his work.

Despite being the second shortest, no one really messes with Kinoshita

His build is in between Ennoshita and Nishinoya

again, like the rest he has a couple of tattoos

usually has a pair of goggles sitting atop his head as he doesn’t really leave the laboratory

he wants to redeem himself for attempting to leave initially

with his s/o he can seem emotionally distant

but that’s mainly because he’s either sleep-deprived or distracted

Loves to just lay in bed with s/o whenever he has a free day

K̴a̴z̴u̴h̴i̴t̴o̴ ̴N̴a̴r̴i̴t̴a̴

The friendliest member

The rookies felt comfortable to talk to him upon first meeting him and is a reliable rock when need be

does a lot of work in the behind the scenes such as shadowing targets and helping with any sort of basic chores at the base

he’s a scouter for new areas of establishment or even a quick interrogation area in a pinch

sometimes gets mistaken for Tanaka but doesn’t really mind

has the friendly carefree vibe that turns hella terrifying when it needs to be

“Narita, can you find us a place to interrogate these shit stains?” Looking up from his place by the car, the male in question nodded as he took a brief once over the entire area. Considering the situation and the amount of victims they had, it would be wise for a wide spaced area with a place to easily dispose of the bodies along with coming up with a reasonable excuse in case someone came along to ask questions.

“...hm...” Softly humming, he walked over to the desolate area, skimming it briefly before taking note of the cloaked figure. Raising a brow, he moved towards the figure to find that it was the last of the target’s help. Lightly laughing he couldn’t help but smile.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare ya there but...you’re really not good at hide and seek are you?”

The friendly smile on his face twisting to that of horror as the male beckoned his teammates over after giving the all clear.

Like Tanaka, Narita has a shaved head but chooses not to have any tattoos on his scalp

instead, his tattoos range from his arms and back to his torso

he’s lean, similarly built to Tanaka if not only slightly smaller

is immensely loving to his s/o

if he can he would try to be with them as much as he can to ensure his own humanity hasn’t gone away

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu au #hitmen au #karasuno #haikyuu!!#nishinoya yuu x reader #ryunosuke tanaka x reader #chikara ennoshita x reader #hisashi kinoshita x reader #kazuhito narita x reader #reader insert #alternate universe #nishinoya yuu #ryunosuke tanaka #ennoshita chikara #kinoshita hisashi #narita kazuhito

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steakook · 4 years

Text

not a house but a home

Pairing: boyfriend!Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Domestic Fluff, Angst, very very light Smut if you squint

A/N: feeling all kinds of soft for the babie after his “Never Not” cover. This was supposed to be a Drabble but, as always, jungkook takes my heart further ༼;´༎ຶ.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨۝ ༎ຶ༽ . Enjoy!

///

“Babe?”

I let out an unintelligible response. My toothbrush is still buzzing in my mouth, for God’s sake. Jungkook takes it as a sign to continue.

“Can you please please PLEASE clean your side of the bathroom?” He says pleadingly with puppy dog eyes but also a hint of seriousness. He means business today.. of all days, Monday.

“SDFGHHH!!! DFYJKGGJK” I let out.

“I know it’s morning and I know you’re grumpy but PLEASE I can’t keep looking at this mess.”

I spit out into my sink. As I’m doing so I look at the cocktail of toiletries that litters my side of the vanity. 5 different Bobbi brown lip tints strewn about. Several makeup brushes and palettes clutter the white marble. Multiple face washes, moisturizes, and various other skincare products I’ve been sold by the deceptive Sephora employees, 83% of which I don’t use. Hair. Hair everywhere. I can’t help it, with hair like this I can’t just empty my comb every single day.

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.” I say to my beautiful and unfortunately meticulous boyfriend with a smirk.

He heaved a loaded sigh.

“Baaaaaabe.”

Here we go.

“I can’t look at this every morning!! How can you have your side so messy and still be able to operate throughout the day clearly?! Being organized brings peace to one’s life.”

Oh God I don’t remember putting something up his ass last night and leaving it there. I giggle in my head. I need to save that joke for later.

“You know, if I knew you’d be this messy, I would’ve just stayed at the dorms. Living with you is basically as bad as living with them.” Jungkook says, no trace of playfulness in his voice.

“Oh really? The same? Y’all giving each other cuddles?? Y’all sucking each other’s dicks?! Hmm??”

Ok in all honesty i really shouldn’t start a fight this early in the morning let alone week. But he knows how grumpy I am in the mornings. Not only do I have to wake up and ungodly hour (7am is ungodly for some of us, okay?), but I naturally hate being forced out of my comfy bed cuddling with my exorbitantly organized but very hot boyfriend.

I look at him. He has an incredulous look in his eyes. We’ve had this fight multiple times since moving in with each other 6 months ago. To be quite frank, there have been more growing pains than happy moments. I started realizing my organized chaos choice of living deeply contrasted jungkook’s need to put everything in its place and if it can be alphabetized, all the better. I’m annoyed and so is he.

“Are you serious? Can’t you do this ONE thing for me? One thing that will significantly improve not only mine but your life as well? I swear it’s amazing how much you accomplish at work when you practically do nothing at home.”

Oh. Wasn’t expecting that.

He must see the change in playfulness in my face, immediately regretting his words.

“Babe I’m sor-“

“Don’t worry about it. I have to finish getting ready. I have a big presentation to present to the Japanese stockholders this afternoon regarding our globalization plan.... I mean, hopefully i don’t fuck it up seeing as how I live my life in such a clusterfuck it’s a wonder how i get things done there. Right, jungkook?”

I don’t wait for him to answer as i leave our shared bathroom but he just continues to stand there. I hit him low too.

Living together has put quite a strain on our relationship because we haven’t really found that symbiotic rhythm yet. To be honest, I kick ass and take names in the board room but I’ve never found myself to be very... well... domestic at home. Jungkook, on the other hand, not only is good at every chore. He is amazing. he has a neurotic obsession with making sure laundry never overflows in the hamper, dishes are always clean and the sink is empty, and making sure dust never accumulates. I swear to God. For someone who is an international kpop sensation, how does he have time to keep our house looking so great everyday.

This is a quality of his I worship. His never ending never endingness. There is always work to be done, this can always be cleaner, that can always be done today not tomorrow. Me, on the other hand, I wear two hats. There is the Business Y/N who has an MBA and literally climbed her way up the corporate ladder. Queen of making deals and making grown men cry around the world. I have a 401k. I know. Amazing. But outside of that, I’ve always been Party, easy going Y/N. My job already requires me to be ruthless yet charismatic AND strategic everyday, I don’t need to bring that elsewhere.

If I hadn’t had the second hat, I don’t think I would have ever met jungkook. We met at a random awards show I was attending for fun with some friends, my close friend from B-school scoring us tickets within the artists’ seating. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

I’ve always envied kook for his ability to be at the forefront in everything in his life. From his career, to his multitude of sports and hobbies, to taking care of his homestead. He’s more serious and cares more about little things than I think he purposely lets on. We are yin and yang. opposites attract, yes, but can they actually coexist?

It’s been a long day when i get home at 10pm. Funny enough, both our schedules are so hectic but perfectly align with his late dance practices and my evening calls to Belgium.

Our golden doodle puppy greets me.

“Matcha!!!!!! How are you my love???” She showers me with kisses. Oh how lovely this is after a particularly shitty day.

I turn into the tv room and see him laying there icing his knee. He looks gorgeous. Even now, barefaced and in a hoodie that’s three times his should-be size and basketball shorts, watching the 6th season of nartuto. (For the 7th time).

We look at each other waiting for one to break. It’s always been like this. What more could you expect from two highly-competitive and maybe a bit self-righteous individuals? Maybe we are more similar than we are different.

“Hi baby.” I cave.

The hard look on his face softens. He puts his guard down, relieved we won’t have to fight. I go over and lay down next to him making sure i don’t hit his knee. He wraps me in his large arms and I feel a glow of comfort. He smells like fresh laundry. (Which is probably accurate since he made sure to do a load today before heading to the studio.. someone say ANAL RETENTIVE with me!!)

“You smell so nice.” He is soft. No, he is softness personified. As much of a tough, stubborn Virgo as he is, he is a ball of pudding when it comes to after work moments like these. He tucks his nose into my hair. And kisses me absentmindedly.

“About this morning-“ He starts. But I cut him off.

“No, no. I’m sorry. I know it’s been hard living together with our opposing..... lifestyle choices” he snorts. “But I know you’ve had to bend to me more than I’ve had to bend to you. And for that I’m sincerely sorry. I haven’t made nearly as much of an effort to make this work. But the change has been hard for me. I’ve never had to live with a boy let alone share a bathroom with one. And not only that, I had always imagined I WOULD BE THE CLEANER ONE.” He chuckles quietly and plants some chaste kisses on my temples.

“Babe, no. I know. You’re still adjusting. But I need to apologize too. I didn’t mean what I said earlier but i just get so frustrated sometimes! You’re hard headed and I am too. But still I shouldn’t have said those things I’ve said about you not being great at your job. Your ferocity is one of the reasons i love you. It’s also extremely hot.”

I smile and look up into those big brown doe eyes and I melt. How could he look so good after practicing the whole day? And how could he be so patient and loving to someone like me? Messy and unorganized.

“I love you. So much. I don’t deserve to be with someone like you. You’re amazing at everything it’s so damn frustrating sometimes. Not only do you devote your life to an occupation that require so much of you, you also still make time to take care of us, this place. I’m sorry I don’t make things easy.”

“Y/N. You may be frustratingly messy. I don’t understand how one person can produce so much goddamn hair at once to be quite honest. You shed more than Matcha. But being with you is easy. You make life easy. You give me easiness when so so so many other things in this life are so hard and time consuming. So many people want so much from me and I want to be the person they need. But when I’m with you, it doesn’t feel like work. It’s easiness in its purest sense. Even though you don’t clean up your shit.”

I giggle.

“But even then, i wouldn’t trade this for anything else.”

I kiss him chastely and he holds my chin up for better access. We kiss like this for a while before he swipes his tongue against my lip asking for permission. Though he doesn’t need any. The kiss escalated into something deeper. Hotter. He licks into my mouth and I feel heat stir in my stomach. Fuck.

He uses his arms already wrapped around me to place me on top of him. Ice bag long forgotten on the floor. We make out passionately as if our lives depend on it. I put my hand to the back of his neck and run through his gorgeous thick chocolate hair. So lush.

I find myself straddling his waist and grind my core against his half hard-on. He moans.

“Fuck..”

I grind harder with intention and fill fires of lust consume me. Holy fucking shit. It always feels like the first time. He puts his hands on my thighs gripping them and forcing me to go harder onto his dick.

After a few minutes he sits up, lips still connected and lifts me up. I smirk into the kiss already knowing where this is going. He carries me along the marbled tile hallway to our bedroom and throws me on the bed. He strips himself of his hoodie.

“You know... you’ve been quite disobedient to me, Y/N. I think it’s time to put you in your place.” He says sternly. God, he has never looked more hot.

///

A/N: thank you so much for reading!!!! Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is my first fic so please let me know if you liked it!

Lots of love.

-M

#jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook reader #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bangtanarmynet #jungkook fluff #boyfriend!jungkook #domestic!jungkook #jungkook #slice of life

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tokidokitrash · 4 years

Text

I’ve never written a fic before (ok maybe when I was like 13) and I was just struggling a little mentally tonight. It’s a Long rambling off the Top of my head and it’s not gonna be any good but I tried. I would appreciate any constructive criticism you’d shoot my way.

It did help me feel better after writing this, so that’s a silver lining:D

I know the mysme fandom is kinda not as strong as it used to be, but reading other people’s fics really brightened my day, since I’m always on my own due to work.

I had this set as a longer timeline compared to the limited days in the game, and my MC clearly struggles with her own inner depression demons,

Sorry in advance about some stuff further down. I couldn’t help myself.

Italics are either MC’s thoughts or flashbacks.

———————————————————————————————

The way we are - 01

Dreadful, depreciating thoughts slowly crept their way into your thoughts, almost like they bore down on the back of your tightly shut eyes.

‘Not this again...’ you mentally scold yourself.

It had been a few weeks since your last battle. The constant struggle you fought deep within you- one only you knew about.

No one knew. No one could ever know. No one would be able to accept you. No one would be able to help either ways.

You curled yourself into a little huddle on your bed. The air-conditioner wasn’t on, leading the air to a standstill. It was suffocating, the stagnancy. But honestly, you couldn’t be bothered with the discomfort.

‘Stagnant air... stagnant just like my life has been...’

You chastised yourself again, me talking rolling your eyes at yourself, this time for being such a dramatic little bitch in your own little mind.

You hated yourself.

Things were actually getting better these past few weeks. You had the RFA and managing their affairs kept you solidly occupied.

Truthfully, that fateful day you encountered them, and they laid out the opportunity to you to help them be their new coordinator, you mentally leapt with joy at the chance.

Yes, the whole thing was pretty fishy, bogus, weird.

But you’d craved and relished the idea that you could be of some help to a greater cause. Your heart soared at the thought of being of use to someone.

It did come as a plus that the members of this new group were all such...unique personalities.

The lively, dramatic, narcissistic but caring Zen.

The adorable, innocent, wide-eyed Yoosung.

The strong and (seriously) overworked Jaehee.

The stern, calculative business man with the strangest streak of humour, Jumin.

And the mysterious hacker with the flaming red hair, the one whom you’d always felt you could ‘click’ with best, the one you were most attracted to,707.

In their own way, they lit up your life, the way they seemed to always be concerned with your wellbeing, peppering your day with their funny arguments and conversations.

Then shit hit the fan, didn’t it?

It had already been a few days since the whole ordeal with ‘Unknown’. It’s events still played fresh in your mind, but yet right now, they seemed so very far away.

Seven had come to your rescue, but since that day, he’s been anything but a knight in shining armour.

Before the incident, you both had so much fun through the limited calls to each other and the chat.

You felt warm feelings towards Seven blossom in your chest every time you heard his voice. And with the way he seemed to flirt back with you, you had the slightest impression that maybe, just maybe, he was interested in you too.

It felt so nice to banter with him, to feel some sort of electric connection between you two.

But these days, it seems that the happy-go-lucky, capable 707 was gone.

The other day, he even lashed out at Yoosung, who called you, distraught and crying over the incident.

You’ve tried to be strong, you understood that whatever transpired that day must have triggered Seven towards reacting this way. Constantly pushing you away, harshly berating you for leaving his sight, then berating you once more for coming too close to him. You wanted to be here for him, to let him know you cared for him more deeply then he knew and you’d accept and like to hear his story. You’d like to think of yourself as capable of helping provide comfort and reassurance to this beautiful mess of a man, despite whatever attitude shocking revelations of danger he may throw at you.

The key word here, is that you ‘tried’.

And sometimes, life gives you so much lemons, you get really sick of fucking lemonade.

You haven’t really left the room for about...maybe 2 days now, you estimate. Only sneaking out for essentials when you didn’t hear typing and it seemed that maybe Seven was asleep. Wallowing in your self-hatred, you think about the things you’ve wanted to accomplish and how you’ve failed them all.

Dammit, even the man you were so into seems to hate you now- and why shouldn’t he?

Depression had sinked her filthy claws into your heart once again, and though you may have won that battle against her before, you knew, deep in the recess of your mind, she was always waiting to crawl back out.

You hated every fibre of your being. Some days you’d wonder why you were even alive. What did you exist for? Even replying the emails from potential guests seem a chore too monumental right now. Why should they care about your invites? You’d ponder over what to send them, then delete everything you’ve typed out of fear you were being out of line or plain stupid, giving the RFA a bad name. Then you’d start to hate yourself more for letting the guests wait on your reply, get more upset with your own inefficiency. It was a vicious cycle in your mind, and it was always tough to break out of it.

You’ve managed before, and kept a happy persona in your interactions with the members. And that’s what you tried to do for Seven, even as he was scowling away, brows scrunched up in frustration at either his computer, or your mere presence. Either way, he let you know you were an annoyance he couldn’t be bothered to entertain.

And you started believing him.

So you’ve locked yourself away in your room. This was your problem to deal with. Your demons to face. You found a small comfort in hearing Seven typing away in the living room. It was odd, but knowing he was there made you feel safe...but so unwanted.

‘Come on MC... you’re a tough girl, so tough this one out. Yes you’re pathetic and there’s nothing more you hate in this world but yourself, but snap out of it.... please... happythoughtshappythoughtshappythoughtskittenspuppies..seven’svoiceandjokesandthoughtsoftakingyoutothemoon...’

Growling in frustration, you pull the pillow over your head and tried to scream into it, only to end up sobbing uncontrollably. Why were you like this? It’s so illogical...so, so stupid.

If only you could force yourself to be happy and cheery.

But admittedly, Seven’s attitude and coldness towards you really shut that cheery side of you down, faster than you’d like to admit.

You recall the freshest wounds he had inflicted upon you... you had tried to talk to him, as he seemed a little nicer that morning, despite being extremely sleep deprived, giving you a nod when you brought him coffee, and didn’t tell you off when you went to sit near him. You had wanted to express a little gratitude for how hard he was working for your sake.

—————

“Hey, Seven... thank you for working so hard fo-

‘“I’m just going to stop you there, you don’t have to say anything to me. You can just leave me alone.”’

“Aish~! I know that~! You’ve said that before, I just wanna thank you- you’re going to hurt my feelings you know” you pout, trying to stay light-hearted.

He takes off his glasses and rubs his temples upon hearing this. Sighing loudly, he adds;

“I don’t care about how you feel at all. I can’t be bothered if you’re hurt. I’m busy and don’t have time for this, so stop bothering me already!”’

“ I just-‘

‘“ just leave me alone.”’

You weren’t sure what made you decide to do this, but you whine quietly, feeling defeated, and perhaps this was actually a last ditch attempt to see if he cared.

“Seven...I’m going to start crying if you keep being so mean to me..”

He pauses, then he shifts in your direction,stony faced, cold liquid gold eyes bearing into your own brown eyes.

‘“Even if you cry, it doesn’t really matter to me.”’

Hearing that, you flashed him the best smile you could manage, hoping your pain wasn’t too obvious, muttered a few apologies and excused yourself to your room.

————-

...you were scared too, after the whole incident. But it seems he truly did not care about how you felt, like he hardly gave it any thought. like you were only a problem he had to fix ASAP to get a move on his life.

——————————————————-

Hours had probably passed when you jolt awake to a knock on your door.

“Oi, MC.” he starts in an annoyed tone “Are you okay? I tried calling you but your phone is dead. What are you doing in there for so long anyway?”

You weren’t sure what time it was, but you knew it must have been quite awhile if Mr cold-and-I-don’t-care-about-you was checking up on you. The room was dark, air still stale. Picking up your phone, you realise you haven’t checked it since the start of your mental battle. Yes, it was dead.

“MC?” You thought maybe you picked up a hint of worry though all that irritation this time. “.....I’m coming in.”

‘Wait what? Nonono did I lock the bloody door? He can’t see me like this I-‘

You bolt up from the bed, nearly tripping on your sheets as you rushed for the door, but you were a beat too slow, and the door was already ajar before your hand could touch the handle.

Golden irises pierce your gaze as your eyes adjusted to the invading light from outside your room, he pauses for a moment and his eyes seem to widen in shock at the sight of you...and your probably very disheveled appearance.

Hurriedly, you press your body against the back of the door, holding , preventing it from opening any further.

“MC?!” He called as he tried to peek his head past the door’s opening to get a better look at you.

You cleared your dry and raspy throat before finally replying the redhead-

“AHHHHh Seven! Geez, don’t you know that you’re supposed to give a lady more time to respond?! You can’t just open doors so suddenly you gave me such a start! Nearly let you see me all horrid looking after taking a nap ahaha ha”

Good lord you hope you sounded convincing, and not at all like you’ve been crying for the last godknowshowlong.

Seven goes quiet for a moment, and the tension in the air still hangs over you two. You notice one of his hands shift and holds onto the door frame as he steadily starts to push the door towards you. Trying your utmost best but failing to be lighthearted, you yelped and tried to swat his hand away, still fervently trying to push the door back against his force.

“Holddddup what are you doing Seveny stop trying to open the door! Didn’t you hear what I said???”

“I heard you. But I said I’m.coming.in.”

He pushes the door harder and you know you’re no match for his strength, and in a last ditch attempt to hide your appearance from him you grab a large towel you had hanging behind your door, wrap it over your head, letting it drape down your shoulders and dash for the corner of the room behind the door. You squat down, huddled in your new corner, and you hear Seven cuss when the door gives way easily at your absence, causing him to stumble into the room. Hearing him cuss a bit more, you sense his gaze sweeping the room, before feeling them land upon your huddled up frame at the corner. There’s a long pause before he quietly asks, incredulously

“..........MC, wh-what are you doing over there”

“I told you I was indecent looking now.... so I’m just going to stay in this corner since you so rudely barged in.” You quipped. Your choice of words may sound harsh but you say them in a sing-song manner. Seven just stays quiet after your reply, which leads you to ramble on, hoping to fill the silence

“So, uh, what’s up? Did you miss me? Come here cuz you’re missing little old me? Ahahhaha or did you manage to find something about this whole....shenanigan? Anyways a-aren’t you busy and all? I won’t bother you anymore so y-you don’t have to worry about me either ahhahaha...hahahah”

I sound insane.

You hear him sigh loudly, again, and it kind of reminds you of how your parents used to sigh at you when you were a disappointment. He mutters under his breath sometimes that’s sounds like ‘fucks sake’ and it cuts you off from your ramblings. You can’t stop the tears from springing to your eyes. You were still hurting, still wallowing. Trying to hide whatever negativity by being weird and using your own brand of humour. And now he was real, in your room and invading your space, you could feel your mind trying to come up with something, anything to avoid possible questions and maybe get him to leave.

“What’s all this? You’re being real weird now, hiding in that corner. I’ve seen you after your naps and you don’t usually look like....that. Turn around and face me, MC.”

You take a deep breathe through your nose, your way of stifling your sniffs from new tears,

“Ahhh you’re so indelicate, I can’t turn to face you, so uh why don’t you just wait outside and I’ll come out when I’m ready?”

“And when will that be? Talk to me MC. Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

No shit, Sherlock.

“Yaaaa Please God Seven, have mercy and give this lady a chance to *sniff* prep herself first”

You could almost hear him rolling his eyes at you, when he says

“Get out of the corner before I drag you out. Seriously, what are you even doing? “

Given his snappiness, you wouldn’t be surprised if he acted out his threat. But his question gave you a chance to exhibit your messed up coping mechanism.

“What am I doing? Fine, I’ll tell you. I’m not hiding myself, I’m prepping for my next cosplay.”

“HAH??” In a very, very annoyed tone.

“Here, look. “

In that moment, you slowly turned your body to face him, and put your hands down on the floor, still in a squatting position but with your hands between your knees. Towel still draped across your head and shoulder, you whisper in a low, slow voice,

“E.......Ed........Edward.....................Nii-san”

“..............’’

“GODDAMMIT MC “

Seven’s loud, booming shout really startles you, as you realise he’s left the room. You started to worry you’ve made him real angry this time, and wait for more cussing and shouting.....only to hear cussing and...laughter? His laughter grows, and soon he’s bellowing, and the raucous peals of laughter is music to your ears actually. Even though you’re still hurt from his words and demeanour, you’ve come to realise the effect this gorgeous man has on you, and it warms your heart a little that you’ve managed to make him laugh for the first time in a Long, Long time. He’s still cackling when you waddle towards the door, still covered mainly by the room’s darkness, peek out at him but with your body still in the same position.

“Hey man” you catch his attention and he stares at you, wiping tears away from his eyes “that’s not cool- that scene wasn’t funny at all in the anime-god you shouldn’t be laughing at this.”

Seven has his hands on his knees as you send him into another mini laughing fit.

You stay like this for awhile, feeling a little better after making 707 laugh, despite it not being your original plan at all. You hoped he’d have forgotten all about how you looked and how you ardently tried to hide from him the fact you’ve been a mess these last 2 days.

Now it just feels a little bittersweet. This whole thing is quite similar to how you’ve always dealt with hiding your hurt and pain from others, and a teeny, tiny part of you was sad that you felt the need to hide your feelings and emotions from the guy you adored.

Deep down, you wanted his comfort, but yet, was too afraid to seek it out.

You were now convinced that Seven perhaps truly had no feelings for you other than just as a ‘member of RFA’.

“Anyways...god Seven?”You whispered quietly once his laughter completely dies down. He looks up, having taken off his glasses to wipe his tears again.

“Ah?” He mutters breathlessly, looking at you through his fringe.

You realise you have it real bad, as this sight of him makes your breathe hitch a little and your heart beat faster. You will thoughts of him away as you continue

“I’m going to go and wash up, then um, head to bed now....“ you shift your hands to grip the towel’s ends, making it cover more of your face. Seven seems to notice how tightly you’re gripping the towel, and patiently waits for you to speak as your struggle to find the words.

“..I’m sorry about the other day, today. Well. Everyday. I hope you feel a little better... good night, okay? Take care of yourself, Remember to eat and sleep and I’ll just be here I Guess an—“

you stop yourself. You were rambling again. Pointless rambles. You forced a small smile, internally dying as you were now telling yourself to give up these feelings, bid him good night once more, and gently shut the door.

—————————————————

I’m sorry about the joke again. I had the idea and I couldn’t put it down.

33 notes · View notes

ayakashibackstreet · 4 years

Note

for the oc ask: Angus: 5, 9, 36, 74, Lea: 22, 43, 54, 78, Venicus: 31, 40, 53, 83 (also all of your ocs have very pretty names!)

93 fun OC asks because why not

Ahhh, thank you so so much, Nonnie!!

Angus:

5.What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about otherrelatives?

Angus is a family man and he’s always had a great relationship with his parents. He’d be willing to sacrifice a lot for both them, his grandma and his older sister – Lamair. He’s lived with them all the way up until the story proper begins and he’s supported them near unconditionally. Sure, his sister might snark at him, his dad might expect just a bit too much and his mum might have a tendency to overreact – it doesn’t matter, he loves them dearly and there isn’t anything that could change that.

9.What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

He’s the kind of guy who tends to stick to mostly grays when it comes to his clothing – however, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like other colours, too. He really likes green and yellow in particular – they put him at ease and go nicely together. He’s got an eye for colours, even though people might not notice that about him.

Animal-wise, he loves birds of all kinds – from sparrows through flamingos all the way up to eagles. He finds them inspiring as well as funny – few things in life are as amusing as watching parrot videos. He domesticated a swallow when he was a kid – he was a feral child, as well as good with animals. Other than birds, he really likes dogs and he’d love to have one as a pet at some point.

36.What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke theywould find humorous.

He’s mostly keen on situational as well as physical humour – notso much in media, moreso in real life. It’s the small things,mostly stemming from absent-mindedness; putting milk in the kitchencupboard instead of the fridge and not realising it is just reallyamusing to him. Bumping into a glass door? Hilarious!… so long asit wasn’t too painful. He’s also fond of funny animal videos;he’s the kind of guy who immediately wants to show them to hisfriends.

Also, Axciss’ face when he’s trying really hard to hide hisamusement is hilarious, second to none, hands down.

74.What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms?

He was always a fan of sunny weather but since the summers started to get hotter and hotter, he really started appreciating rain, too. Still, nothing beats a cup of coffee in the early morning as his face is gently warmed up by the sun. Morning jogs are also the best in the sun, so that’s a plus, too – rain makes him feel more lazy, so he prefers it when it rains in the evening if anything.

Storms are fine – he’s not a big fan but he can appreciate how fresh the air is afterwards. Despite being a pretty tough guy overall, an especially aggressive storm can actually make him a bit jumpy. The moment the thunder gets too loud, he’s not up for watching the lightning anymore. Also, he’d rather die than be outside during a storm, so there’s that.

Lea:

22.What is their least favorite thing about their personality?

While she generally considers it a strength, the bubbly side of her personality can be a real toughie for her to truly accept. She overall likes it, sure, but the moment someone seems even slightly annoyed with her, she immediately begins to despise it. Despite being people-savvy, it can be very hard for her to contain her excitement and it doesn’t always go over well with others – as she really needs others’ acceptance, it’s very difficult for her at times.

She also doesn’t think very highly of her own intelligence – she admires people who are more analytical in their approach to things and tends to overlook her knowledge in different fields because of that. She’ll frequently call herself stupid and seems surprised when her friends jump to her defense.

43.What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance?

Her relationship to her appearance shifts a bit over the course of the story, actually! I don’t think there is a feature she’d single out as the worst one when it comes to her appearance – she finds everything perfectly average, which is exactly the problem she sees with it. Amongst all those beautiful, cute and/or unique-looking people, she’s just… Lea. She’s always wished to be more than that – in particular, she’s always wanted to see herself – and for others to see her – as cute and pretty.

Well, as the story goes on, she actually gains a whole lot confidence in that regard! Nowadays, I don’t think she finds anything about herself extraordinary either way, but she still sees herself as very cute and she grows to like her looks quite a bit! So while she still doesn’t single anything out, it’s because everything is just right.

54.What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their pasthairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle?

Lea doesn’t experiment too much with her hair, mostly keeping it in her usual curly bob or a cute fro – she always decorates with cute littly bows, however, and she changes those on daily bases. She has a whole collection of them, she is going to use them and that’s final. Back in the day she also tried out braiding her hair but she decided she’s not a fan of it, not on herself anyway. Sometimes, if she gets bored, she might put her hair up in two buns, but that’s pretty rare for her – while she likes the look just fine, she prefers just keeping it simple.

78.Who do they consider to be their best friend?

That’s easy – that’d definitely be her girlfriend, Estela! (who’s @aceteling’s OC btw)

They met on the Internet and they’ve been online friends since. They started out just sharing memes with each other, gradually working their way up to sharing their daily struggles. Estela’s the one who’s affected her life the most, she’s someone Lea’s admired for a long time now and she finds herself incredibly lucky to have such an amazing friend, as well as a partner.

Venicus:

31.Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before theirown? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this?

Veni is, in a way, pretty selfish and he hardly ever puts others’ needs before his own. To be fair, that’s a result of the environment he was stuck in – he basically didn’t have anyone to look out for, so he’s not used to considering their needs as much. Still, when the need arose to protect his guardian, Avaxius, he did it without too much thought, as if acting on pure instinct. If Venicus gets attached to you (admittedly a chore to accomplish that), he’ll be willing to put his life on the line, as he desperately doesn’t want to lose anyone anymore.

Avi aside, Veni’s very protective of Shion (again, @aceteling’s OC!) and this is where his ability to read people truly shines – he can tell if they don’t tell him how they really feel, which is oftentimes the case with Shion. He can put his own needs aside, every now and then, for just a moment, to try to talk sense into them. He’s pretty good at telling what people need and if it’s Shion, he will most likely even take that into consideration.

40.Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual?

He’s a dumbass boy and the oneperson he trusted the most throughout most of his life was Avaxius –he literally would trust the demon he was contracted to with his verylife. The years they spent together made them both trust each othernear completely, even if they bickered quite a lot.

After Avi’s death, the one personVeni actually trusts is Shion. He doesn’t put much trust in otherpeople, he’s not even entirely sure which one of them he can trustnot to murder him atany given chance.

How much Shion trusts Veni is…debatable? I mean, they definitely trust him, probably too much since he’s a murder baby with, at this point, very little self-preservation instinct, but Veni’s definitely not the person they trust the most. Up to some degree, while they believe that he’s not an inherently bad person and certainly consider him a friend, they’re confused about how to interact with him. They trust Angus more, which is a valid choice (in spite of Angus having his own morality problems but hey).

53.What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone?

83.Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim?

He can swim enough to not drown if thrown into water. Only breaststroke though. He’srather fond of swimming nonetheless, the water’s pleasant!

Once again, thank you for the questions, aaaaa

#VT answers #OC tag #Angus #Lea #Veni #Anonymous #long post #By all means send me more of these

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joygaroz · 5 years

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sehnsucht

AU. She rather had him with her against his will, than never being able to see him again; this are her thoughts as she claims to be engaged to the ex rounin, Uchiha Sasuke, who is about to be sentenced to exhile.

AO3 || previous >>> five >>> tbc...

It’s because as days pass by that his silence makes her restless that she decides to bring up the issue at the table in the next meeting. A meeting she requests to the Hokage.

It’s been several days now that she comes home only to find him watching outside the only mirror that offers view to the outside in a posture that makes her think that he’s not really there with her, his eyes lost somewhere in the view to the other side of the glass, longing for more.

Her heart keeps clenching despite reminding herself in more than one occasion that this was inevitable and a reasonable behavior.

Because when she calls for him, his eyes take their time in distinguishing her figure a second more than the time he takes in turning his face in her direction.

“I’d like to propose to lift the house arrest of Uchiha Sasuke” she spoke once she was in front of Kakashi, his attention at last on her after putting aside some of the files he had been scribbling on.

“So, not satisfied with requesting for him to stay in Konoha you want him to wander nonchalantly among civils?” one of the members of the council addressed her, even though she was facing to Kakashi’s direction, the large desk occupied at least six seats occupied by said members. All stuck up faces directed towards her standing form in the middle of the room.

“Being locked in doesn’t give anyone any benefits, being isolated won’t allow him to have a different perspective of the one he had before his return” she replied growing annoyed by each second.

“So, are you saying it’s not enough with your company?” this was a different voice, with a fake surprise tone that irked her but she knew better than to let it show.

“Even if I’d like to say that yes, the truth is that what he needs more than my company is to notice the change in his surroundings so he can adapt to it. How do you expect him to change if you don’t give him the chance to offer something new to this society that he has stopped knowing?”

“We’re not talking about someone who lost his memory, we are talking about someone who—”

“Someone who made mistakes in the past thanks to a judgement badly influenced. Exactly, it needs to be proven the right truth” this time, she whirled her face in order to face the person that had tried to speak ill of him.

Sakura suppressed the urge to frown at the member. It was clear to her, to Naruto and even to Kakashi that these people, responsible of so many misjudges, were the least indicated to point out misconceptions of other people, and yet…

“It might be like that but we keep talking about someone with instability of great abilities. We could not possibly leave him unsupervised overnight” once they addressed the issue she had been thinking about, Sakura smirked —maybe something she had gained from him, maybe something she had been hiding in her as she grew older and more confident.

“What about a volunteer as escort?” she tilted her head to the side, one of her pink brows raising.

“What do you mean?”

“Uzumaki Naruto, the only person capable to keep him at bay, isn’t he?” she offered.

Once more, she made good use of the knowledge of the village’s needs in their favor. This, Kakashi noted as he hid a smirk under his mask.

After a long minute of silence and glances from one to the other, they replied:

“We’ll consider your proposal, and check on it on the next meeting”.

It soon became a custom, to have Naruto daily with them. Not always arriving at the same time, but spending hours at their flat nonetheless.

He’ll excuse himself saying he gets bored of studying and needs to clear his head. In reality, he was as concerned as Sakura about Sasuke adapting to this new atmosphere in which he was left alone surrounded by only four walls.

Sasuke was no fool; he had noticed their ulterior motives, but said nothing. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was thankful too. It was harsh to deal, actually; Solitude often making his thoughts drift to murky ghosts, often making him abruptly wake up after unknowingly falling asleep.

Today, though, the blond had barged in with a considerable amount of liquor in his arms.

At first it was like usual, just the two of them. Without having nothing much else to do, the pair started to chug the sour yet addicting liquor in small shots and soon enough, their heads became lightheaded.

They were arguing about why tomatoes were better than ramen (and why Sasuke was just talking bullshit), when Sakura got home from her shift. It took only one glance at the mess they had created in the living room for her to know she was far too exhausted to argue so she just opened up a brand-new bottle of sake and slumped on the once tidy floor in front of her boys.

Silently listening to their usual banter, she quickly caught up with them and finished her first bottle when Naruto changed topic abruptly.

“We might as well just date each other already”

Both his best friends snapped their heads in the blond’s direction, completely taken aback by his blunt confession.

“Why?”

“No way” both of them replied simultaneously.

Naruto replied with a grunt, a gesture he had completely taken from the Uchiha, but had yet to notice; he fidgeted with his glass of sake a few moments before continuing.

“I mean, we’re too messed up to be dating anyone else out of the team, aren’t we?”

“Excuse me?” Sakura argued, baffled and offended. Sasuke, on the other hand, remained silent and continued to taste his liquor also stumbled somewhere on his living room’s floor.

“Yeah okay, except maybe Sakura-chan, but honestly your taste in men so far has proven that you’ve got some kind of twisted kink don’t you think?”

As a reply, Sakura took a long chug of her drink and looked elsewhere.

“We’re not that messed up…” her voice was barely a whisper, only for her ears to hear.

Sakura decided then to turn and face her usually optimistic and loud teammate, finding him tumbled against Sasuke’s backseat, resting one of his elbows on the back and in hand hanging his almost empty bottle of sake. His usually childish and goofy smile turned into a concentrating frown of worry.

“What about Hinata?” her mind suddenly lightened.

“This is about Hinata…”

“Oh?” now, both Sakura and Sasuke looked curiously at the blond, the latter raising an eyebrow at his blond friend.

The tanned boy ruffled his hair with his free hand, now aware of the curious stares of his friends.

“She’s so gentle, composed and has this whole bunch of prospects… most certainly less fucked up than me… She should be better off without a burden like me”

Sakura squinted her eyes in his direction, leaning over the small table. Sasuke kept as skeptic as before, but his attention seemed to be diverting to his own glass of sake which he had now found a liking.

This was rather unusual coming from someone who just not long ago cheered on her relationship, but maybe, this and that were totally different things after all. While Sasuke and her tried to make a fake relationship work, Naruto and Hinata…

The girl broke the unusual silence by bursting into a laugh, now it was the males turn to snap their heads in her direction.

“You are that stupid, huh?”

“Wha-?”

“This concern of yours, it is stupid” She shook her head in disapproval. “That you are concerned over something so silly as to being worthy of the one you love is proof that you reciprocate her feelings”

“Wa-wait! The one I love…?” still shocked by the reveal, Naruto incorporated from his slumped position and leaned into the table like Sakura, who was smirking.

“You do” she shrugged as she continued explaining “us girls tend to have the same thoughts once or twice, the only thing that should worry you now is… are you willing to fight and be worthy of her? And I don’t mean physically strong, clearly, you’re over that but rather… fight for her feelings? Make her happy and stuff”

Then she noticed his eyes sparkling once again, face lighting up and foxy grin coming across his features.

“Yes, dattebayo!”

As both of them continued to brighten up, Sasuke fidgeted with his now empty glass of sake, contemplating on what his female teammate had said…

It seemed like there was a name for his constant concern over her wellbeing.

Because, even if he could tell she handled her liquor quite alright, even as they managed to tidy up the mess and get to bed with much ado, Sasuke sometimes wished he could do more.

The truth was that there was little to do at home with only two persons living in that small apartment. Even if Sasuke wished to help and do some chores, even if he took his time struggling from time to time due to his lack of arm, he often managed to get it done before Sakura arrived. Which he came to notice, it continued to keep being later than last time.

He tried to understand, she was an important asset to the hospital, probably in charge of more than one field and even if he tried to tell himself that it was all to be expected, something felt wrong.

While she was working her ass off, she also felt this need to help him out by living with him in this deplorable place.

It somehow irked him. How powerless he was at the moment, not being able to do much but the trivial stuff at home like washing and tidying. Not that there was much to wash or tidy up anyway but as he scrambled through the scrolls Sakura had left out of its shelf, he wondered if there was something useful there. He had his chakra sealed still, but he wondered.

If what Sakura had accomplished all these years had been thanks to her outstanding skill at controlling her chakra, could he be able to give it a try?

And so, while the hours alone continued to pass, he studied. He read and consulted, and he also discovered. How unusual all these discovering’s were when he noticed as the most recent scrolls mentioned an anomaly in the chakra source.

An anomaly like they had called Kaguya’s power.

Just as his thoughts led him to that issue, his eyes squinting in contemplation, he heard Sakura stumble through the door, her usually graceful and chirpy greeting lost between the loud fumble of things clashing against each other.

The forming frown on the dark-haired man pronounced. Talking about unusual things.

“Sakura” he called for her as he neared the entrance, only to find her panting as she tried to steady her elaborated breathing while resting against the wall of the corridor.

He had to suppress a curse as a sting invaded him while watching how she tried to force a reassuring smile on her face even if she was panting and her eyes were clouded and lost. Even as she was at the verge of collapsing, she still tried her best to look strong in front of him.

As if he didn’t know already how capable she was, as if he didn’t know how much of her, she offered for everyone that surrounded her.

He opted to click his tongue and approach her, just in time to catch her as she gave out to his chest.

He gently laid her to rest on the futon, her tired eyes struggling to remain open as he measured her fever before emanating some of his chakra to light his palm—soon emitting a soothing sensation against her forehead that she was pretty familiar with.

"W-where did you learn to heal?" looking tiredly at his face, she noticed a ghost of a smirk decorate his lips.

"Your books" he replied shortly, too focused on remain emanating his soothing chakra on her, aware this was a task that required much of his attention.

"Heh, you've run out of things to do that you've been going through my stuff?"

"Hm"

"--Wait! You've been going through my stuff?" she reacted a few seconds later, trying to reincorporate herself into a seated position but stopped midtrack by Sasuke's palm against her shoulder.

"Tch. Why are you getting so worked up? Is there something I shouldn't find out? Even though we're engaged..."

"Sasuke-kun!"

Noticing the blush that had little to do with her fever, he smirked once more, this time without holding back before chuckling and instructing her.

"Lay down, you annoying patient" he commanded with a tone half playful half strict. She could only stare at his form as he lifted from the ground where she laid at their futon and went out of the room towards the kitchen, she presumed.

She closed her eyes trying to steady her hearbeat, since recalling the tender touch of his hand against her heated forehead had been so delicate and so soothing, she had trouble trying to keep up with this new side of Sasuke she had just discovered.

Even in her delirious state, she wondered. Had she been doing enough for those who did not have someone to look after them like she did? Had she been doing enough to stop being a burden to those who worried about her?

When he entered the room again, He found her incorporated in a seated position against the wall, her gaze somewhere else as she stared at her lap.

"This war is far from being over" her voice was even, almost talking to the past, as if recalling, must certainly the events that had transpired earlier that day, most certainly someone who she had been attending to.

He silently observed, how her eyes glassed before clenching shut, the trembling of her lip letting him know she was way too tired to pretend she was okay.

"Even when we are no longer in the battlefield, we... have so much to deal with still".

He listened to her, silently agreeing as he recalled the suspicious coincidence he had discovered as he studied the scrolls.

There was so much to deal with still, and he had yet to figure out a way to make amends in his current position.

#sasusaku #ssfanfiction #ssfic #sasusaku fanfic #sasusaku fanfiction #ssfanfic #joy writes #sehnsucht fic

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thetravelerwrites · 6 years

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A New Generation (Pt. 2)

Rating: Teen Fandom: 魔法使いの嫁 | Mahou Tsukai no Yome | The Ancient Magus Bride Relationships: Hatori Chise x Elias Ainsworth Characters: Elias Ainsworth, Hatori Chise, Chise Hatori, Silver Lady, Silkie, Ruth, Titania, Oberon, Shannon, Stella Barklem, Angelica Burley, David Burley, Althea Burley, Lindel | Lindenbaum, Merituuli Trigger Warnings: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Babies, Infants, Depression, Anxiety, Discrimination, Unplanned Pregnancy, Abandonment, References to Abuse, References to Abandonment, References to Child Murder Words: 8551

As Chise's pregnancy progresses, Elias is consumed with worry that his child will be rejected by both fae and humans, as he had been. Chise struggles with the fear that she might abandon or harm her own children, as her parents did.

When Elias returned home from London, he sat down with Chise and had a very long, solemn conversation with her about the pregnancy, and for the first time, they talked about a future that also involved their child. Or children, if Chise was correct in her belief that there were two.

He told her about going to speak with Lindel, Simon, and Angelica and what their advice had been. Like him, Chise found Angelica’s tale the most consoling. Knowing that the artificer had felt similar apprehension about procreating helped Chise feel less isolated.

Calling Angelica and talking to her at length also did much to improve Chise’s disposition, not just about Chise’s ability to parent but also about the pregnancy itself. It didn’t cure her of her worries, but having someone to talk to who knew exactly what she was going through was a great comfort to her.

Finally managing to convince Elias to install a landline in the house had been a pretty recent accomplishment. He fought this "modern indulgence" for quite a long time, but when he finally understood that it meant she didn’t have to walk to town to use the public phone every other day, he was more open to the idea, especially since walking long distances was going to become rather difficult for her as time went on. The noise the device made was annoying, but seeing her smile when she answered it was enough to keep him from being too bothered by the sound.

The change in her mood greatly eased Elias’s mind. Watching Chise spiral into a deep, black pit of terror and depression was difficult for him to bear, especially given there was little he could on his own to improve it. As much as he wanted to help her, he had eventually come to understand that sometimes people could only find solace in others who’d had comparable experiences. This was just not his ken, so it was better left to those suited to the task.

He tried to quash his own fears for her sake, but she knew him too well to let him get away with keeping those thoughts to himself. At night, before they slept, she would talk to him; just talk, not expecting him to respond if he wasn’t in the mood to do so, and it helped him. Hearing the sudden shift in her voice from cold despair to tentative hope had done much to alleviate his woes. She encouraged him to be honest with her about what he felt, but didn’t push him to talk if he didn’t want to. More often than not, though, he would. They would lay bear their worries to each other and try to find the bright side. They were both still afraid, but they were facing that fear together.

And it helped.

Summer was in full swing, and Elias was twice as busy as normal now that Chise was limited as to what she could do. He didn’t grumble about it much; after all, he had done everything himself before she had come along. But they had become a well-coordinated, efficient team over the years and he had come to treasure her reserved, supportive assistance in all things, whether practical or magical. He rather missed working in tandem with her.

Though she was no longer allowed to do any of her normal seasonal chores beyond a little light weeding and watering, she would often sit in the garden with him as he worked and help whenever she could, not content with staying in bed all day like an invalid. Besides, having Chise within Elias’s sight and hearing was good for his heart and mind.

Ruth spent his time keeping a close, watchful eye on her, reporting any physical ills that Chise might keep to herself to Elias. As long as she was at rest, though, they were happy enough.

Late one night, he walked into their bedroom to prepare for sleep and found her naked in front of a mirror, standing to the side, looking down at her belly.

“What are you doing?” He asked curiously.

“Look at my stomach,” She said, her hands gently probing her lower abdomen. “It’s bigger. And it’s hard, too. Feel.”

Elias came close and laid his hand on her stomach. It was indeed hardened, as though she had swallowed a large stone, and there was a swelling between her hips; not big, but definitely noticeable.

And perhaps he imagined it, but he thought he felt a strange swirl of energy embedded there underneath the flesh and muscle, lodged deep in her body. No, two swirls. Perhaps Chise’s instinct was more credible than he first thought.

“Hmm,” He said. “Why is that?”

“Angelica says the uterus thickens and becomes more solid to protect the fetuses,” She said, reaching for a book on her nightstand. “It says so in this, too. Alice sent it to me. I told her about the babies, by the way, but I swore her to secrecy. I haven’t told Stella yet, but she’s busy at university and I didn’t want to bother her during finals.”

Elias bent to peer at the book. “What is it?”

She flipped through the rather large paperback volume. “It’s a book about pregnancy and birth. It’s actually pretty informative. So many things make sense now.”

“May I read it, then?” He asked. “There is much I still need to learn. I have a distinct dearth of knowledge about this particular subject and I feel compelled to rectify that.”

“Sure,” she said, handing it to him. “I’ve read up to the third trimester, so I won’t need it for a little while. I hope it helps.”

In some ways it did, and in others it didn’t. During gestation, he learned, the woman’s body produces excess blood to carry extra oxygen to the baby, which in turn causes the mother’s heart rate to accelerate for the duration of the pregnancy, which in turn causes her core temperature to rise. That explained that part, at least.

But other aspects of pregnancy and childbirth were, to put it mildly, horrifying. Things like nosebleeds, strange cravings, extreme mood swings, increased sex drive, swelling of the extremities, sudden hair growth or hair loss, violent fits of vomiting that lasted for months, soreness almost everywhere, food aversions, heighten sensitivity of smell, touch, and taste… the list of physical oddities was extensive. Bones would often be pushed out of the way and change position to compensate for the growing child, sometimes even fracturing or breaking in the process. And all of this was considered normal.

And those were just minor possible symptoms. The more severe ones were downright ghastly. There was no end of ways that it could go wrong, no end to the possible damage to the mother, no end to the ways the child could be born ill or malformed, and that was just for regular, non-magical children. There was no telling what kind of ailments could befall the child of two mages, especially if both parents were cursed.

And the descriptions of the birthing process itself, including the many, many things that could go awry, was nothing short of nauseating. Several times, he had to shut the book and put it aside for a while, appalled at what he learned. He hated to admit it, but sometimes knowledge for knowledge’s sake wasn’t always a good thing.

Once the first physical changes had begun, time seemed to speed up. Chise’s body changed rapidly, her stomach growing larger every day to carry the new life safely. She seemed especially breakable these days, and Elias couldn’t help being even more protective than he had been before.

For years before he had bought Chise, nothing had changed. Things went on as they always had, and it was as comfortable as it was dull. Then, once he met her, things changed, but it was a slow change. Even though things happened that never had before, it came at a pace he could understand and absorb.

Now, everything was new and happening too fast for him to process, and he was trying his best to keep up. He did not adapt well to change.

One afternoon in late July, while Chise was having her afternoon nap, Elias awoke her with a touch to her cheek.

“I’m sorry to wake you, Little Bird,” He said softly. “But there is a guest downstairs who has come a long way to see you. Are you feeling up to greeting them?”

She smiled. “Sure.”

Downstairs, she saw a tallish, pale man standing in their sitting room in modern clothes, looking around the room curiously. His blonde hair was separated into two bunches and hung over his shoulders. The the pupils of his bright blue eyes were slits, like that of a wild predator.

“Lindel!” Chise exclaimed in surprise.

When he saw her enter the room, a wide smile split his face. “It’s good to see you, my daughter,” He said, his arms open toward her.

She rushed forward to give him a hug. “What are you doing here? The dragons--”

“Can survive me being gone for an hour or two. Besides, Merituuli is to inform me right away if anything should happen while I’m here. I haven’t heard from you in a while and I wanted to check on you.” He held her at arms length and looked at her belly. “You’re coming along rather quickly, aren’t you? I sense very strong life essences brewing in there. Your offspring will be incredibly powerful mages. I can’t wait to meet my grandchildren; you must bring them to the aerie once they’ve been born.”

“More than one?” Chise asked.

“Oh, yes,” Lindel replied. “Two separate, distinct energies, hale and healthy, growing well.”

“Ha,” Chise said quietly. “I knew it.”

“Now,” He took her hand and hooked it around his arm. “Why don’t you give me a tour and tell me all about your preparations for the little ones? I’ve never actually been to Thorn’s home, you know. The ungrateful brat has never so much as extended an invitation.”

Elias sniffed slightly and sat in his chair, picking up a book he must have been reading before Lindel arrived.

“Of course,” She said, turning. Silver was looking in shyly from the kitchen, where Ruth was having a snack. “This is Silver Lady. She’s a neighbor who runs the house and looks after us. She’s been a big help to me.”

Lindel bowed. “A pleasure.”

Maybe it was Chise’s imagination, but she could have sworn Silver blushed.

“Good to see you again, Ruth,” Lindel said pleasantly. “Keeping a sharp eye on our favorite girl, are you?”

“Of course,” Ruth said. “She’s been getting plenty of rest, but she’s not eating as much as I’d prefer.”

Chise sighed heavily. “Elias’s fussing is bad enough, but having a fae nanny breathing down my neck all day is really irritating.”

Lindel laughed softly. “I would imagine so.”

Chise showed him her old room upstairs with Ruth trailing behind, where Silver had surprised her one day by converting it into a nursery. Silver, at least, seemed very excited about the new additions to the family and was going to extraordinary lengths to make sure the house was ready for their arrival.

The brand-new cupboards were stacked with blankets and swaddling and dressing gowns and cloth diapers, all handmade by Silver. There were double changing tables and bassinets, set side by side, and even a rocking chair next to the window. Chise had no idea where all the new furniture had even come from. Silver had used neutral colors to decorate the room: a mix of light and dark browns and soft purples and blues. The walls had been painted with a mural of wildflowers and trees, and the floor was plush grass-green carpet, as though the room was outside in a meadow. It was beautiful. Chise had cried and hugged Silver for quite a while when Silver presented it to her.

Ah, mood swings.

Elias had not been prepared for these emotional outbursts and, quite frankly, neither had Chise. She’d go from really happy to really sad to really annoyed all in the span of a few minutes. It was rather dizzying for the both of them. Ruth tried to warn Elias when they were coming, but he couldn’t always tell, so they were often blindsided by a sudden explosion of emotion that even Chise didn’t always understand. He supposed there was some comfort to be found in the fact that she was just as confused as he was.

Chise showed Lindel Elias’s study, and her workroom beyond where she practiced her spellcraft, and then decided to take a break in the garden. Lindel sat with Chise, talking animatedly about the baby dragons and happily eating Silver’s sandwiches and cakes. It was probably a nice change from stew. He even coaxed a song from Chise, one he had taught her in Icelandic about a hungry raven that slept beneath rock rifts. She had missed singing with him.

The sound of their voices raised in song brought Elias out to join them. He hadn’t heard her sing in some time and was pleased to hear it. She only sang when she was in a good mood. The resonance of their voices made the trees stand straighter, the flowers bloom brighter, and the sunlight shine gently upon them without being overpowering. When Lindel and Chise worked together, everything they touched was magic. Elias couldn’t help but be a little jealous of that.

The visit was a splendid one that did much to brighten Chise’s spirit. Before long, Lindel felt the aerie calling his heart home and left Chise with a hug and well-wishes. He even shook Elias’s hand.

Lindel snapped and sparked and was gone in a flurry of snow and cinders. Chise was sorry to see him go. She really felt as though Lindel was a surrogate father. When he called her his daughter, there had been weight to it. He genuinely meant it.

Chise made to go inside, but Elias took her by the hand to stop her, looking off into the woods.

“I believe we may have further visitors,” He said, taking his veil and flinging it over his face. He pointed to the treeline.

There, almost invisible under the dappled sunlight filtering through the trees, stood a fae woman of indescribable beauty. Her black hair trailed behind her and brushed the ground as she walked, and her skin was as smooth as the petals of a lily. Her eyes, the colors of which shifted as though iridescent, were locked on Chise from where she stood motionless in the shadow. How long she had been there, no one could say, but her attention was on Chise and nothing else.

“Lady Titania,” Chise breathed.

As though summoned, Titania stepped out of the shelter of trees and began to walk toward them. Spriggan stepped out of her shadow, the gold rings adorning his staff jingling as he walked. He looked as surly as ever.

“My dear, sweet robin,” Titania said, holding her arms out to Chise and she stepped forward. “Oh! Isn’t it so wonderful!”

“I assume the little folk have informed you of Chise’s condition,” Elias said.

“Oh,yes, my child. I can’t tell you how pleased I am! Oberon is beside himself.” She glanced back to the forest’s edge. Chise and Elias followed her gaze to see Oberon running to and fro, giggling like a child and throwing flowers into the air. Chise laughed softly and shook her head.

Titania returned her attention to Chise and touched her hand to Chise’s belly. “Look how far along you are! I must say, though, I am terribly put out that you hid it from us for so long.”

“I’m sorry,” Chise said. “I… it’s been… difficult.”

Titania took her face in her hands. “Poor child,” She said. “Do not despair. This is a blessing. What a wondrous gift it is to be mortal. The fae do not breed well with each other and as such, our children are rare. That’s why there are so many old tales among mortals about halflings, though such things are far less likely in this millenia.” Her gaze brushed across Elias’s tall form briefly. “I suppose it’s how your race proliferates so effectively. You’re like rabbits, in that way.” She giggled.

“Oh, what a wonderful turn of fate!” Oberon crooned gleefully, skipping around the group of them. “I can’t wait to see the new little mages. Is there any chance at all they’ll be blonde? Oh, nevermind, they’ll be adorable either way!”

“Titania,” Elias started, ignoring Oberon as he pranced around them, laying a flower crown on Chise’s head. “You have the gift of foresight. Can you…” He paused, clutching the fabric of his shirt over his chest, as though in pain. “Is there any way to tell… that is to say…” He stumbled to a stop.

“Elias,” Titania said kindly. “Ask your question plainly, and I shall answer as best as I can.”

Elias sighed. “The children… our children… will they be… like me? Half-creatures, hated and shunned for the sin of merely being alive in a world where they do not belong?”

Chise’s heart bled for him. It must have quite a blow to his pride to ask that question. She knew he’d never admit it to anyone, not even her, but the constant reminder that he was neither one or the other was something that caused him perpetual grief. The idea that he was terrified his own children would share this fate made Chise’s heart ache. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it consolingly.

“Oh, Thorn,” Titania said sadly. “I see branches; roads that split and diverge like serpents in the sea of potentiality. I see many possibilities, though some are more likely than others. I cannot give you a solid answer because the paths are still many and multiplying. I cannot tell you for certain what will be.” She laid a hand on his chest and smiled. “But would you like to know what I feel?”

He nodded, apprehensive.

“I feel love and joy,” She said. “I hear laughter echoing within the walls of this dwelling. Your children will have fragments of their father residing in them, as all children do, but they will have the protection and favor of all who love them. And there will be many who love them. They are blessed by the Queen of the Fae herself, and my blessing is no paltry trinket.”

“Titania, I…” Elias said, unable to continue.

Oberon slid over to his wife and winked at her, a wide smile on his face. He then turned to Elias.

“Do not fret, thorn child,” He said. “However tainted your lineage may be, you are still one of us, and your bride is beloved by our kind. Your children, then, will be doubly revered by all fae. You have no cause to worry.”

“Thank you. That is… very comforting,” He replied, though his tone said to Chise that he was still rather troubled.

Chise endured another few minutes of Titania and Oberon’s doting before they decided to depart. She felt rather relieved when they left. They could be a lot to handle all at once.

That night, lying in bed with Elias, the question he had asked the Faerie Queen revolved over and over in her mind.

“Elias?” She asked softly, trying not to wake Ruth. “Are you still awake?”

She couldn’t see his pupils, but he did answer. “Yes.”

She lay her hand on the back of his neck and stroked it. “Are you really worried about how the children will turn out?”

Elias sighed. “It does not matter to me what they will look like,” He said somberly. “But it will matter to humans. Experience has taught me well that mankind does not adapt quickly to things that are strange or unusual.” He turned his head to look at her. “The fae will not care about their appearance, either, but they will see them as my children, spawn of the halfling failure. That alone may be enough to draw the ire of the fae against them, despite what Titania and Oberon said. Those two have never failed in their kindness to me, but it is borne out of pity, not respect, and the rest of the fae are not so magnanimous. Some are indifferent to me, but most, like the Spriggan, are openly hostile. I do not wish for my children to suffer because of who their father is.”

“Oh, Elias,” Chise said, holding him close. “I wish I could--Oh!” Chise sat up abruptly, pulling the covers down and placing both hands on her belly.

“What?” He asked in alarm, turning to sit up. “What is it? Are you alright?”

“I felt them.”

“You did?” He asked.

“Yes,” She said, moving her hands around gingerly. “I felt a thumping on the inside. I felt some flutters before, but I was never sure what they were. That was definitely a kick.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking at her abdomen.

In response, she took his hand and laid it down on her stomach, instructing him to wait. He did so, and it took nearly five minutes, but there was a distinct nudge against his hand.

Chise looked up and smiled at him, but his heart was in his throat. He couldn’t decide if he was excited or panicked. Talking about the baby, seeing her belly expand, making preparations: for some reason, none of that made it feel real. But this did. Feeling the tiny movements of the child on his own skin from the inside of her body was what made it reality to him.

“We should call on Shannon tomorrow,” Chise said. “I’m twenty weeks. It’s about time for a check-up.”

“Y-yes,” He said vaguely. “Of course.”

She took his face in her hands. “Are you all right?”

“I do not know,” He answered honestly. “I am… frightened.”

“I know,” She said. She laid her forehead on his.

They stayed that way for many minutes, their foreheads touching, his hand on her belly, feeling the little jumps and thumps of his children moving about inside. Frightened was not an adequate word for what he felt. He didn’t know if there was a word strong enough.

Time seemed to move very fast for a while, and then suddenly slowed to a snail’s pace. Before they knew it, it was winter. Chise had grown very large, and Shannon expected the babies to come a few days after the new year.

Chise kept to the house exclusively now, since moving was more difficult, not to mention that Elias was highly paranoid about her catching an illness in her condition. She spent much of the time nesting, which is an instinctual habit among mothers-to-be to make sure everything was in its proper place and perfect. Silver had taken care of most of that for her, but it didn’t stop Chise from folding and refolding all of the babies’ linens and making sure things were just so.

As the time for the birth came closer, the atmosphere of the house grew more and more anxious. Chise was rather sick of being pregnant and was ready to be able to stand without assistance and not eat what felt like half her body weight every day. Ruth was restless and impatient. He could feel the time getting closer just as acutely as Chise did.

If Chise was anxious and Ruth was restless, Elias was downright terrified. He spent a lot of time alone in his study, unable to control this emotion. He didn’t want to worry her more than she already was, but he couldn’t push away the awful feeling of dread.

He had slowly grown accustomed to the idea of the children, but not the possibility that they would take after him. The idea that they could be subjected to cruelty and discrimination for simply being his children made his blood run cold. How could he protect them against that kind of hatred? How could he shield them from the animosity of both humans and fae? He could weather it just fine; he was used to it, and some of it was deserved. He had once been a monster, after all. But they would be innocent and guileless. They didn’t deserve to be treated as he had been.

As much as he tried to hide his worry from Chise, he knew she felt it. He could see it on her face when she looked at him sometimes. It wasn’t pity that she showed him, but empathy. If anyone would understand, it would be her, but this was just one thing he couldn’t talk to her about. She always tried to soothe him and tell him things would be fine, but she had no way of knowing that for certain. Blind optimism just didn’t work for him.

Very late on the night before Christmas eve, a sharp yelp of pain woke Elias from sleep. It had been Ruth: he had bounced out of his bed and shot to Chise’s side, immediately switching to his human form. Chise was sitting curled around her stomach, gasping.

“Chise?” Elias asked.

“I think my water broke,” Chise gasped. “I’ve been having contractions, but they weren’t bad until now. We need Shannon.”

“Shannon! Silver!” Elias called.

A flash shot through the room. Elias turned on the lamp and found Shannon standing next to Chise, trying to pull her to her feet. The silky came through the door in an instant, a tub of hot water and many towels in her hands. It was almost as if she were waiting for the call.

Shannon had Chise sit on a wooden chair with a curved back, urging her to recline with her pelvis tilted out, putting a pillow behind her to support her back. Silver helped Chise out of her underwear and flipped the hem of her nightgown up over her stomach, exposing her entire lower half. Chise didn’t have the wherewithal to be embarrassed about her tender bits out for the entire room to see. The pain was pushing everything else out of her brain.

“Is it supposed to hurt this much?” Ruth gasped, his arms wrapped around his stomach.

“There are two living creatures the size of watermelons attempting to tear their way out of her body, Ruth. Yeah, it’s gonna hurt,” Shannon said dryly.

“Sorry, Ruth,” Chise said, breathing heavily. “I’m trying to block it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ruth said. “I don’t really care about me right now.”

“What can I do?” Elias asked anxiously.

“You and Ruth, get on either side. Both of you hold her hand with one of yours and then let her use your other hand to brace her feet on. She’s going to need the leverage when she starts pushing.”

Elias and Ruth, took their positions. Chise had already begun to sweat profusely and was breathing shallowly. Silver stood at her head, stroking her hair gently and ready with a cloth to wipe her brow.

“Deep breaths, Chise,” Shannon said, kneeling on the ground and pushing a gloved hand into Chise’s body to gauge her dilation. “Nine centimeters,” Shannon said, removing her hand. “Not quiet ready yet, but it’s going to be soon.”

Chise could only nod, attempting with little success to take deep breaths as she was instructed. Her head rolled to look at Elias with fear in her eyes.

“It’s too early,” She said in a terrified whisper. “I’m not due for another three weeks.”

“It’s all right,” Elias whispered, knowing he might be lying. “It will be all right.”

Chise had no choice but to wait until her body opened up enough to start pushing, and it took a few long, miserable hours of pain and sweating. By the time Shannon got into position, it was only an hour before dawn.

“Okay,” Shannon said. “Elias, Ruth, take one foot each and push it toward her chest, but not forcefully. Chise, take several deep breaths. When I say, take a very deep breath, hold it, and start pushing. When I count to ten, you can let go and breath again. Understand?”

Chise nodded, already very tired from the waves of pain she had been suffering over the past few hours. She steeled herself and began to take slow, deep breaths.

“Ready? Okay, deep, deep breath and push!”

Chise pulled in as much air as her lungs could take and held it, bracing her legs against Ruth and Elias’s grip, and pushed with all her might, her face pulled back in a grimace of pain and exertion.

“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten, and breathe,” Shannon instructed. Chise blew out her breath explosively and gulped in air.

“Okay, again. Deep breath, and push!”

It went on like this for quite a time. They only paused the pushing for Chise to drink water and for Silver to wipe the sweat from her face and neck. Elias talked in Chise’s ear during these brief moments of rest, telling her that she was strong and that he had faith in her. She seemed so tired, but she smiled at him and dotted a kiss on his nose in reply.

Finally, as the first rays of sunlight shone through the window, Shannon pulled a small, reddish-purple infant from Chise’s body. It shrieked as it took it’s first breaths of life, it’s color changing as it took in oxygen. Shannon placed the sticky ball of outrage on Chise’s chest for a moment, allowing the new mother to inspect the little creature for herself while Shannon detached the umbilical cord.

“It’s a baby girl,” Shannon said, smiling.

Chise let go of Ruth and Elias and wrapped her fingers around the tiny thing as it screamed it’s fury at them all. Chise was crying, too, but not in anger. Her face, red and sweaty though it was, lit with joy as she held her newborn daughter.

Suddenly, she seized up with a sudden contraction and hissed with pain. The baby was whisked out of her arms by Silver, who took it to a nearby dressing table to clean it.

“We’re halfway there,” Shannon said. “Let’s get ready. On the next contraction, we start the pushing again.”

Chise nodded, letting Ruth and Elias take hold of her feet and push them back.

Once the first baby was out, the second wasn’t far behind. It wailed more loudly than it’s twin, thrashing about angrily on Chise’s chest, though Chise clearly didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s another little girl,” Shannon said with a grin.

Tears poured from Chise’s eyes as she held her daughter, gasping from the effort of pushing. The touch of her mother’s hands had calmed the baby and she was no longer writhing spastically, but wiggling and making little grunting sounds, lying on her belly in Chise’s grasp.

After a moment, this child, too, was taken away for cleaning. Then there was more work to be done. The afterbirth had to be removed from Chise’s body, which caused a small fountain of blood to escape. Elias and Ruth panicked, but Shannon said this could happen sometimes and it wasn’t serious as long as it was contained quickly. She gave Chise a tea that would help stop the bleeding and once she had finished it, Silver lifted Chise as if she weighed nothing and took her to the bathroom for a proper cleaning. Shannon followed, leaving Ruth and Elias alone with the newborns, lying side by side and safely bundled up in the crib near Chise’s side of the bed.

While she was gone, Ruth went to inspect the babies up close. “Elias,” He called to the mage, who was still sitting in a daze. “Come and see.”

Elias stood with his heart pounding in his chest and walked to stand by Ruth, looking down at his brand new daughters with a lump in his throat. Now that they were cleaned, he could see them better. They were still wiggly and wrinkly, but there were distinct differences between the twins. One had a full head of white-blonde hair and a peachy-pink complexion, while the other had fine red fuzz on her head and was as pale as bleached bone.

“I remember the day that Isabelle was born,” Ruth said solemnly, lost in his memory. “I had only been with the family for a few months and I didn’t quite understand what was happening at the time. I didn’t know what a baby was. She was so tiny and weird-looking, but I loved her right away. We were together all the time after that. I existed for her; I’d have done anything for her.”

He stared down at the two sleeping infants, his eyes dark with recollection. “I took it for granted, thinking she’d always be there. I didn’t see the dangers until it was too late. I should have done more to protect her. If I had been a better brother, she might have lived a long, happy life. I didn’t do enough, and she died.” He reached out but stopped just short of touching the one with red hair. “For them, I’ll do better. I’ll be better. I promise.”

Elias did not respond. He stared down at his sleeping girls rather blankly.

Yes, He thought to himself. I, too, must be better.

Silver and Shannon returned with Chise, clean, wearing a fresh nightgown, and remarkably able to walk unassisted. Elias helped ease her back into the freshly changed bed, then Shannon handed Chise the white-haired baby girl. Shannon insisted that Chise try to breastfeed the baby, as it would help promote clotting. Silver went to work cleaning the gory aftermath off of the floor. Ruth, as a grim, sniffed each child keenly with his tail wagging.

It took a few tries and some urging to get the baby to latch to her breast; apparently babies weren’t born knowing how to do this and had to be taught, but once she found her way, she seemed to be content and fell asleep while feeding, her tiny arm resting on Chise’s skin. Elias watched curiously.

“You probably won’t be able to produce enough milk to fill both babies at the same time, so you might want to supplement with formula. You may even decide to go formula exclusively, which is fine. As long as they get the enzymes from your breastmilk at the start, it’ll be a big boost to their immune systems.”

Chise nodded without looking up, absorbed in the tiny little girl at her breast with it’s little fist around Chise’s finger. She seemed to finish quickly, and Chise lifted the baby for Elias to hold.

“Chise…” He said nervously. “I don’t… I can’t… I don’t think…”

“It’s okay, Elias,” Chise said with a smile. “You’re going to have to hold them at some point. Might as well be now.”

“Just remember to support the head,” Shannon said. “The neck muscles are underdeveloped.”

“Here,” She sat up and, holding the baby in one arm, used her hand to make a cradle of his. “Like this.”

Exercising more care than he ever had in his entire existence, he took the tiny bundle into his arms, cradling it gently. He could feel the warmth of it’s little body through the blankets, as though he were holding a glowing coal. He lifted her up so he could inspect her more closely. As he did so, she opened her eyes for the first time and looked up at him. Her eyes were the color of evergreens, like her mother. But unlike her, the pupils were not round but slits, like that of a wild creature. The eyes of a fae. The eyes of a mage.

“Chise, look,” Elias said, bending to show her. Chise, who had taken the red-haired babe and was feeding her from the other breast, peered at the child Elias held and smiled. Her smile faded and her eyes narrowed curiously.

“What is it?” Elias asked.

“Look at her head, a little bit above the hairline. There’s a bump. No, there’s two, one on either side. Do you see them?”

Elias brought the baby close to his face, examining her closely. There was, indeed, some sort of bump there. Carefully readjusting his grip, he felt the bumps with his finger. They felt like… bone? No, not bone…

“Horns,” Elias said softly. “She has horns.”

Chise laughed softly, her eyes warm with affection. “You certainly can’t deny she’s yours, can you?”

He looked down at her, a new warmth spreading though his chest. “No…” He said. “I cannot.”

“Have you decided on names?” Shannon asked, sitting on the other side, monitoring the mother and her little ones closely.

Elias was taken aback. It wasn’t something he had even thought about. He’d been so preoccupied with his doubts and fears that he hadn’t room to think of anything else.

“It is Christmas Eve,” Chise said, looking out of the snow covered windows. She looked at the little redhead, sleeping peacefully in her arms. “Her hair reminds me of holly berries, so why don’t we call her Holly?” She smiled and gazed at the white-haired child Elias clutched to him. “And with her green eyes, she should be named Ivy.”

Elias sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, bending to nuzzle her head.

“Yes,” He said fondly. “It’s perfect.”

After both parents had a turn holding both of their infant girls, they gave Silver and Ruth a chance. Ruth was anxious and attentive, fearful of being clumsy or accidentally jostling his new nieces and upsetting them, but Silver seemed overjoyed to hold the tiny babes, smiling brightly and giggling at their noises. A better nanny than Silver Lady could not be found anywhere, either in the mortal realm or the kingdom of the fae. Chise had a feeling she was going to be relying heavily on her for the next few months.

While holding Holly, Silver made a small noise of surprise.

“Silver?” Chise said. “What is it?”

Silver brought the baby to the bed and knelt down between Elias and Chise, where the parents could see the newborn’s eyes. The irises were solid black and didn’t reflect light, instead seeming to consume it. The pupils, however, were red. Not the bright holly red of her hair, but a dark crimson red, like blood on snow, and they too were mere slits.

“Oh,” Chise breathed. “Look at that. Aren’t they beautiful?”

Elias, seeing the trace his own eyes looking back at him from his daughter’s face, was at a loss for words.

His children were mostly human, it seemed, but they retained a piece of him, a fragment of his fae blood, just as Titania said. Before, this thought made him worry about their future, but seeing them now, he felt… what was this? It was a good feeling, but it carried weight with it. Pride? Was that it? Did he feel proud? Perhaps so.

After a while, Shannon insists that everyone leave the room to the new parents and their children, and Elias settled himself in a chair beside the bed, with Chise on his left side and the crib on the right. All three of his girls were sleeping peacefully. Ivy seemed content in being wrapped up in her swaddling, but Holly had kicked her way out of the blankets so that she could move freely.

He watched them sleep with mixed emotions, laying his hands on the stomachs of the babes, comforted by their warmth. As if waiting for this, they both reached out and gripped his fingers in their fists and held on with a surprisingly strong grip.

The world could have been falling down around them, but as long as they were safe and happy, it wouldn’t have bothered him. He found he didn’t care all that much at the moment about the concerns that had plagued him before the birth, though he knew they would come back eventually. He felt warm and calm, with none of the anxiety that had been gnawing at his mind for months. Was this feeling happiness? Peace?

He could identify at least one emotion well enough: love. It was different than what he felt for Chise, but no less consuming. Chains of gold and silver had wrapped themselves around his heart. They sprung from the touch of his tiny daughters’ small hands on his own, an unbreakable link that bound him to his newly-born flesh and blood. Instinct drove this behavior, and it was obvious what it meant. They had laid claim to him.

They do not belong to me, he realized. I belong to them. How fascinating.

He had lived for centuries never having tethered himself to any other being. Back then, loneliness and being alone were mutually exclusive concepts. He’d had friendships and acquaintances but felt no obligation to any of them beyond an occasional favor or trade. At the time, he had thought himself content.

When he had acquired Chise on a whim out of mere curiosity, he had not anticipated how his life would change. The connection that developed between them, as slow as it was to manifest openly, was unlike anything he’d felt before. It brought with it many good feelings, as well as many unpleasant ones. Chise’s love was easy enough to earn, but he soon discovered that while love could be unconditional, trust was not. He hadn’t known there was a difference between those emotions until he had betrayed them.

For a while after, their bond was fragile and could snap with any slight pressure he applied to it. It had taken much time and effort on his part to repair the damage he had done, and he had sworn never to do anything that could sever that link again.

But the bond he felt to these two new lives was instantaneous and indestructible, something over which he had no control. He was, for lack of a better term, spellbound.

“I don’t understand.”

Elias jumped slightly at Chise’s soft whisper. He looked over to see that she was awake and staring are her children.

“What is it you do not understand, Little Bird?” Elias replied quietly.

“I thought,” She said. “I thought when they were born, it would make more sense, but it doesn’t. I thought it would help me understand why they did it.”

“Your parents,” He said. It wasn’t a question.

“I thought that once I was a parent myself, I could see it from their perspective, and I’d understand. But I don’t. I would never, ever leave them. I could never hurt them. Never.” She looked at Elias and took his hand. “What they did still makes no sense to me. I guess you were right, Elias. I am different.”

“Yes,” He said, holding her hand to his cheek. “Do not be sad, Chise. That is a wonderful thing.”

She smiled, and her gaze returned to the infants. “You’re right. It is.”

During the first two months, which Chise and Elias used to get accustomed to the new routine of parenthood, the twins developed personalities that were as different as their appearance. Holly was an independent little thing and didn’t like to be swaddled or held for too long, while Ivy loved to be cuddled and preferred to be held by Elias over anyone else. He was more than happy to hold her at all times and soon became deft at doing things one-handed.

After this necessary adjustment time, they decided to have a small gathering of friends over to properly introduce their children. They had invited Stella, the Barley family, Alice, a few friends from the college including the brooding Adolf and enthusiastic Tori, and even Renfred. Over the years, Elias and Renfred had forged a tense acquaintanceship. Chise encouraged them to be better friends, but in the end, she figured anything was better than open hostility.

They had invited Lindel, too, but he didn’t want to leave the aerie again. He insisted they bring them to him instead, which they promised to do when the children were a few months older.

“Aren’t they darling?” Angelica said, looking at Holly sleeping in sixteen-year-old Althea’s arms.

“They really are,” Stella said, now nineteen, as she tickling Ivy’s feet while David held her. The baby cooed at Stella as she did so.

“Ya did good, Chise,” Alice said. “You cooked up some real nice babies in there.” She poked Chise’s stomach, which was now much smaller and thankfully no longer sore.

“That’s a weird phrase, Alice, thank you,” Chise said.

Renfred had been mostly quiet during the gathering. Alice had told Chise that babies make him nervous; he liked kids better when they were old enough to follow orders.

Elias was similarly uncomfortable with so many people in his house at once, and eventually, it drove him outside to the garden. Cold though it was, he sat at the garden table with his tea and sighed.

“Are they not lovely?” A voice said to him from his right. He turned to see a small, child-like figure standing there nearby. She wore a simple white gown made of thin silk and a crown of baby’s breath around her head. A circle of snow underneath her feet had melted away and flowers had sprung up all around her. Her hair was black, her skin like petals, her eyes like the wings of a dragonfly.

“Titania,” Elias said, standing. “You’ve come alone.”

“I have, though I shan’t be long,” She said, her voice belying her youthful appearance. “I bring with me gifts for your little ones.”

“Gifts?”

“Yes. The heartache you expressed when last we met has stayed with me. I felt compelled to do something to set your mind at ease.” She opened her hands, and lying in each palm was a ring carved of dark wood, one on a gold string, the other on a silver one. “I told you your offspring held my favor, did I not?” She asked. “That was not a lie. You need not worry for their safety from our kind. These will tell all fae creatures that your babes are my godchildren and therefore under my protection.”

Elias did not recall agreeing to such an arrangement, but accepted the rings with a bow.

“Thank you, my Lady,” He said. “This is most generous.”

“You must bring them to visit us, Thorn,” Titania said. “It’s been so long since there were children in the Faerie Kingdom. Oberon is dying to meet the new magelings.”

Elias nodded without speaking, not committing to this. He wondered if her favor extended to not trapping them in the faerie realm.

“Be well, Elias. Take care of our sweet robin and those beautiful children. Dwell no longer on the darkness in your past and look instead to your future. Your legacy now resides in those new souls that you created, and not the mistakes you have made. You have been given a divine gift. Do not take it for granted.”

“I assure you, Lady,” He said seriously. “I have no intention of doing so.”

She smiled at him, and the body she inhabited burst apart into flowers and floated away like the seeds of a dandelion, carried away on a sudden wind that smelled strangely of spring grass.

Elias lifted his gaze to watch the petals drift away, putting the charms in his pocket.

Once everyone had gone home and the house was quiet again, Elias picked up a wailing Ivy, who quieted immediately, and sat with Ruth and Chise as Silver laid out their dinner. Chise fed Holly with one arm and fed herself with the other. Once Holly finished, Chise passed her to Ruth to be burped and held out her arms for Ivy, who Elias passed carefully over the dinner table. Silver waited at Ruth’s elbow with a spit-up cloth. They all seemed to be easing into this new normal well.

Elias and Chise took the children to their room and laid them down for sleep, with Ruth curled up on the floor between them. He was better than a baby monitor. Ruth was taking his oath to Elias to protect the children very seriously and was just as involved in their care as every other person in the house. It seemed there was no shortage of babysitters to be found for the new parents, and Chise found that comforting. The nightmare she’d once had of being overwhelmed with caring for two children at once with limited help faded from her mind.

With the children abed for a least a couple of hours, Elias and Chise took this time to spend with each other, something they hadn’t had much opportunity to do since the birth. They sat together on the couch of the sitting room, Chise in Elias’s lap and wrapped up warmly in his arms. She was so tired, she could have fallen asleep if she let herself.

“I’m sorry the party got too claustrophobic for you,” Chise said, twining and untwining her fingers with his.

“It’s all right,” Elias said. “I am actually glad for it. I’d much prefer that the girls were introduced to all our friends at once rather than make many trips to achieve the same result.” Reaching into his waistcoat’s pocket, he pulled out the ring pendants he had gotten. “Besides, while outside, Titania left a give with me.”

Chise took the trinkets and looked at them curiously. “That was nice of her. What are they for?”

“Protection, she said. It’ll ward off any of her kind that would do them mischief.”

Chise smiled. “She’s very thoughtful for a fae.”

“Yes,” Elias agreed. “I wonder if she will extend the same blessing to any additional children we may have.”

Chise swung and looked up in surprise. “You want more children?”

“It's not outside the realm of possibility. We can talk about it later,” Elias replied.

“You're serious. You really want another baby?”

“I merely said we’d talk about it.”

“That’s not a no.”

Elias laughed.

“Give me a year, at least,” Chise said in exasperation. “My body isn’t ready for another one so soon.”

“If you wish,” He said, hugging her tightly.

They sat happily in each other’s arms for the next hour, taking a well deserved rest, until one of the babies began to cry. Elias released her and followed her up the stairs to the childrens' room, where he consoled Holly as Ivy fed. When Ivy was done, they switched. After feeding, the infants resumed sleeping. Before they left, Elias affixed the charms to the wall above their bassinets, the silver one over Ivy, and the gold protecting Holly. The parents, exhausted, climbed into their own bed and fell asleep at once.

Every day brought something new, and Elias was learning so much so quickly. His entire universe had shifted, and thought it had taken time to get used to it, he greeted each wonderful development as they happened with an open heart. He awoke eagerly every morning in his new life, looking forward to what might be.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

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ourloveisforthelovely · 6 years

Text

Forbidden

A/n: So I am on a grand rewrite fest! I am redoing another OFC story and turning this into a reader insert. This is next part of my Animals series. The OFC series is called Things Forbidden. Both stories links are listed if you want to check those out. I recommend reading Animals so more stuff can make sense but you can read Forbidden and be okay. As far as original characters for this story, Zoe is the only one.

Summary: This is an alternate plot line for my Animals story. Luna is the daughter of Rosalie and a mortal man. After her mother’s death, Luna is taken in by Zoe and Cas. Growing up Luna was used to always being in danger and having to be careful. All of that gets thrown aside when a certain Trickster shows up in her life…

Words: 6, 179

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

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Mistakes....that seemed to be the words that most adequately summed up Gabriel's life! He could only count on one hand the number of decisions that he made that turned out to be good. The main one, yawned in his arms before going back to sleep. Gabriel sighed, before looking down at you sleeping face with a smile. You were his one good accomplishment! However, at the same time one of his biggest failures for one of two reasons....First, you had no idea who he really was! From the time that the two of you had gotten together, you were under the impression that he was really Loki. Gabriel never mentioned that he was really an archangel to you. Second, you were the daughter of his ex lover, Rosalie.

Gabriel felt slightly guilty about not telling you the truth from the get go but he had his reasons. He didn't want to lose you. From moment one, he was hooked. If you knew that he was your mother's ex lover that would be a can of worms that he didn't want to face! The last thing that Gabriel wanted was for you to think that you were some make up for Rosalie? Also there was the fact that Gabriel had severed his bond with Rose because he didn't want a mate at that moment? That information probably wouldn't put him in high regard with you! How was he supposed to say that being a man whore was more appealing than settling down with an angel that actually wanted him? Again, DISASTER in the making! In Gabriel's mind, protecting you from the truth was better than letting you walk out.

The moment that Gabriel saw you, he was enchanted. For a moment a moment he thought that you were Rosalie standing before him in that abandoned shopping mall. However, the more that he looked at you it became apparent that you were someone else. It wasn't his Rose at all. Gabriel had mentally chided himself on calling Rosalie his. Part of him still loved Rosalie and he always would. No matter what anyone said, it was hard throwing away something that was meant to be.

Looking down at you, however, Gabriel knew there was something about you that made you perfect for him. There was feeling with you that he felt that he never felt with your mother. Now the greatest task was to keep you feeling the same way about him!

Gabriel sighed feeling frustrated. He knew that he should have told you the truth from day one but he didn't. Gabriel had dismissed it as keeping himself safe. Deep down, he was really doing it to keep himself safe from having something else to run from.

The abandoned shopping mall was the perfect place to lay low in. All it needed was a bit of sprucing up and it would be the perfect hideout! That last thing that Gabriel wanted was to have to go find a new place to make his own! If he ran into some trouble with you, he would again loose everything!

He looked down at you again before letting his mind go back to the first time that he met you....

Gabriel had been relaxing in his newest address. He had just come back from pranking some random person and was ready to kick back a bit. Hearing a faint crash a few stores down made Gabriel jump up. He had been used to faint pops and other noises in the abandoned building but this noise was new.

“Time to trick someone. Nosy bastard.”

Gabriel thought coldly . He was expecting some idiot who explored creepy buildings for YouTube videos that needed a little fear of god put into them! As he walked through the corridor the sound of footsteps stopped him. Gabriel slid behind a wall waiting to see what exactly h would be dealing with.

He frowned the moment a girl stepped in front of him. A girl alone in this place was odd. Gabriel tilted his head looking at said girl carefully. He couldn't see your face at this particular moment but the rest of you seemed nice. You didn't seem like one of those video making YouTube kids. Your long blond hair was draped over her shoulder as you looked around.

“What are you doing here?”

You spun around and Gabriel's mouth dropped. Your face....he knew that face! You looked as clearly shocked to see another person in that building as well.

“I should as you the same question.”

You replied in a calm voice. Gabriel titled his head.

“Rosalie?”

Gabriel knew you wasn't Rosalie and he wasn't quiet sure why her name left his lips. You meanwhile, frowned.

“That's my mother. How do you know her?”

Gabriel's mouth had fallen at that. He never expected that one!

“Uh...we've met before. Where is she?”

Gabriel quickly came back. You had begun to rub your left upper arm with your left hand while looking down.

“She's dead.

Gabriel felt his sense of hope plummet even faster. He didn't respond for a moment or two.

“I'm sorry.”

You gave him a sympathetic expression.

“She's been gone a long time. You're a trickster aren't you?”

Gabriel golden eyes went right back to you as he walked closer. With a smile, he began to circle you while breathing in your scent. That was a that he could get used to!

“So that makes you a nephilim? Tell me gumdrop, how did you come into being? What's your secret sugar? Better yet, what is your name? I want to know all about you.”

Gabriel liked the way that your breathing increased as he got closer. Flirting with the girl was wrong and Gabriel knew it. Did he care. No! Gabriel knew that he should have gone in another direction and let you be but he didn't. Those eyes of yours were entrancing him second by second.

“My name is Y/n. My mother had her grace torn out by an archangel named Michael. How I was born a nephilim with powers is still a mystery.

Gabriel had crossed his arms over his chest as he continued to pace. On the outside, he kept his cool flirtatious manor. However, on the inside he was screaming and mentally cursing his older brother.

“So do you have a name or is it just trickster?”

You asked, pulling the archangel from his thoughts. Gabriel had stopped walking and batted his eyes at you.

“Loki...just Loki.”

Gabriel's memory of their meeting was interrupted when you started to move in his arms. He sighed knowing it would be almost time for you to go back to your family. This whole keeping things hush/hush was becoming more difficult by the day! Watching you leave was becoming more of a chore and Gabriel was tired of being a good boy to appease you! When it came time for him to see you it was always the same routine. Gabriel would cast an illusion spell to make your family think that you were being a good girl and was asleep in your own bed. They had no dead that you were underneath an archangel having the time of your life. The last thing that they needed to know was just how ravaged you had been when you walked down the stairs the next morning.

“Wake up, sugar.”

Gabriel cooed pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes fluttered open and right away you were annoyed.

“You let me fall asleep again!”

You whined. Falling asleep when you were with Loki was the last thing that you wanted to be doing! When you were together you wanted to be awake and enjoy every second.

Sitting up, you ran a hand through your messy sexed up hair. Looking over at your lover, Loki's eyes were locked on you with a satisfied smirk. You knew that he was satisfied. The knowledge of knowing what he did to you was always a plus. There was also the fact that he sent you home just the way he left you. This led to some awkward conversations with your family as to what was going on with your sleep cycles.

“Sorry sugar. You were so exhausted after I made you come for however many times I was. I couldn't help letting you go to sleep. Half angel or not you need to rest baby. We have plenty of time for me to have my way with you.”

You rolled your eyes before looking down at your phone.

“Its 8 am. I have to go home. Will you still come to meet my family tonight?”

Loki nodded, looking not at all enthused. After seeing you in secret for so many months he still knew next to nothing about your family. You had dubiously been taken care of since the time you were a child. It was never a conversation that had come up.

He did feel kind of shitty for never taking the time to ask about your childhood. It seemed as soon as the two of you got together it was always bed time.

The idea of meeting a girl's family didn't sound to fun. This put together another interesting question. What would they tell the family when his “true” identity came out?

If that's what you want sugar. I promise no tricks and I will be on my best behavior.”

You nodded with an approving smile.

“Its really important to e seeing as we have been getting a little more serious.”

Loki's golden eyes sparkled as he rolled them to the side. He situated himself on top of you pressing tender kisses to your collarbone before moving his way to your lips. You sighed happily against his mouth as he gave you candy flavored kisses.

“If that's what you want princess.”

You were satisfied. This is what you needed to hear! You knew well how Loki could be when he was annoyed or wasn't pleased with something someone was doing! Also there was the fact that explaining Loki to your family would be a task in itself. Explaining to Zoe, Cas, and Dean that you was dating a trickster would be a battle. You could already hear Dean yelling about how you were dating a demi god.

“You're dating things that we kill!”

Part of you knew that telling them you was in love and happy wouldn't be enough! Zoe would be freaking out in general! She was so protective that it was scary!”

“I want it more than anything.”

You said against Loki's lips before pressing another tender kiss to him. He looked at you with a satisfied smile.

“I'll come to you tonight then Better get you home before Aunty has a fit.”

You looked down sadly as he snapped his fingers leaving you sitting alone in your bedroom. Thank goodness this time he at least sent you home with clothes on. You took a deep breath before looking around your room. It was like this almost every morning. You would wake up nuzzled in Loki's arms, they would have a morning make out session, then he would send you home with eyes full of guilt.

A knock on the door pulled you from her thoughts.

“Honey bee are you awake?” Sam has go your breakfast down. I know you don't like your pancakes soggy. However, I do believe that Sam's cooking skills doesn't match his brother's.”

You chuckled hearing Cas on the other side of the door. You could see the look of parental pride that he got in his eyes every time he dealt with you. To you, Cas was Dad number one and Dean was Dad number 2. Zoe was your make up mom and Sam was your favorite uncle. All three took their roles seriously!

“I am Cas. I'll be out in a moment.”

You slowly got out of bed still smiling like Loki's cologne. Quickly you snapped your fingers hiding any trace of his scent as well as the soreness that had been radiating from your lower body. Zoe had a nose like a doberman and she would immediately smell him. You wanted to try to keep this meeting as civil as possible and showing up smelling like him wouldn't be a great way to start it.

Changing into fresh clothes, you quickly walked into the kitchen where Dean stood hugging Zoe. Both broke apart instantly when you walked in.

You shook your head at them.

“Don't worry about it. I've seen the three of you do it for years.”

You said with a satisfied smile as Dean blushed. You were quiet for a few moments as you considered your parents. Dean, Cas, and Zoe had been together long before you were born and were perfectly happy. If two angels and a human could be happy then you could be happy with Loki forever, right?

“Zoe, Dean, can I talk to you two and Cas?”

Dean nodded getting his coffee and coming to join you at the table as Cas went to stand by Zoe.

“What's up butter cup?”

Dean asked with a smile as you took a breath.

“I met someone....a guy and I'm going to bring him here to meet you all tonight.”

Cas tilted his head to the side and Dean about choked on his coffee.

“A guy? Where did you find him? How long has this been going on? Why haven't you told us?”

Dean grumbled, looking beyond annoyed. You groaned.

“Yes, a guy. I really like him too. I met him when I was checking out that abandoned mall a few months ago. I haven't told you because of this right here.”

Dean looked even more shocked.

“I'm already concerned if you met this joker in that mall.”

Zoe frowned.

“I'm a little annoyed that you have been hiding this from us, Y?n. You know how dangerous everything is.”

Cas meanwhile, was the one that stopped his partners in their tracks.

“Zoe, Dean, why don't we give this person a chance? He may be decent enough even though she met him in an abandoned shopping mall. We would love to meet him, honey bee. These two will be on their best behavior as well.”

Both Dean and Zoe exchanged less than pleased expressions as you stood. You turned and walked from the room with satisfied smile on your face. Cas really was a prince! You were glad that you weren't in the room for the conversation that was about to happen between the three.

Later that evening you stood in the kitchen waiting for Loki to show up. When Zoe and Dean walked into the room with Sam behind them, Dean froze looking at you. You knew exactly what Dean was doing. He was checking for anything to critique on your outfit. You stood looking at him in a form fitting black shirt, pink ballerina skirt, and matching black flats. The flames in Dean and Zoe's eyes were present.

“She looks too pretty. Go put some more clothes on!”

Dean snapped. It was Sam that stepped in this time.

“Jesus Dean. Her tits are covered and the skirt goes well to her knees. She even has her toes covered. Will you get over yourself!?”

You smiled, silently thanking Sam.”

At least you had Sam and Cas on your side! You understood Zoe's overprotective attitude of you. Zoe had been distraught when Rosalie had been killed. Its hard to go from having your best friend alive and well to having your best friend dead and raising her child as your own! There was also the fact that Zoe knew that you could be a little too innocent and naive for your own good.

Earlier that afternoon Zoe had come into your room while you sat playing your piano for a chat.

“I think we need to talk, Y/n.”

You stopped playing looking up at your aunt. Zoe had sat down watching your fingers that were still on the keys. You had been playing the piano since you had come to them. It was the only way that Dean, Cas, and Zoe found any success in getting you out of your traumatized state!

“Yes?”

You replied softly as Zoe began to talk.

“I wanted to apologize about earlier. I'm sorry that I got so upset. It's just since you came to us and your mother died...you've been everything to us. I look at you and see your mother. You're so much like her! You see good in people that no one else can see. I just want you to realize there are really bad things and people out there. If Michael hurt you, I would be crushed! I already feel guilty that I wasn't there to keep your mother safe when she needed me. If something happened to you....I would let her down even more.”

You smiled squeezing Zoe's hand.

“I understand Zoe. I know that kind of danger that I am in but I don't think he is one of those people. I just want you to trust me here. He is a good man.”

A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. With a smile you quickly peaked into the living room where Dean and Zoe were standing up like storm troopers from Star Wars. Cas was still casually sitting. You gave him a smile before walking up the steps to the door of the bunker.

You smiled seeing Loki on the other side.

“Hello sugar. You look beyond stunning.”

He glanced over your shoulder making sure no one was standing on the other side before pulling you outside. Once the door was shut, he pushed you against the door and crammed his lips to yours. He kissed you hungrily as though it had been months since the two of you had seen one and other.

“The things I do for you, kid.”

He growled against your lips. You reached up twirling his golden curls around your finger. The knowledge of your family waiting to meet your new lover was what made you pull away.

“We can continue this later, I promise.”

Loki sighed, giving you sad puppy dog eyes.

“We better, I deserve some loving after this!”

You reached down interlocking your hands together. Taking a deep breath, you led him down the stairs. Instead of a happy and supportive family, they all looked shocked and horrified. Tilting you head to the side, you looked back at Loki. He hadn't moved and was mirroring the same expression.

It was Zoe who spoke. Her vivid green eyes looked at your and Loki's hands before she couldn't handle it anymore!

“Aw hell no! Christ on a cracker you gotta be shitting me?”

Loki's voice as eerily calm coming from behind you.

“Nice to see you too, Zoe.”

Zoe's frown hardened.

“Not nice to see you, Gabriel.”

You turned looking at Loki. His face was pale and eyes were wide as he looked between Zoe and yourself. Zoe looked beyond disgusted.

“You haven't told her the truth?! You lying angelic asshole! You have lied to my niece to get her to love you!”

You watched as his golden eyes looked coldly at Zoe and for a moment you were afraid that he was going to attack her! As quickly as possible you moved to stand between them.

“Okay, what is going on here?”

You asked. It was in the moment that Gabriel wished that you would have yelled. The look of confusion and disappointment on your face was something that he couldn't handle! For some reason, he had lost the ability to speak as well. Every time he would think of something legitimately good to say it immediately sounded idiotic! Zoe meanwhile, could talk just fine!

“Y/n, you aren't with some trickster. This is the archangel Gabriel, who apparently hasn't grown up one bit!”

You put your hands over your mouth as Zoe glared between the two of you.

“Yes sweetie, that Gabriel.”

Sam, who had came into the room looked slightly confused himself.

“Zoe, I think you should let them talk.”

Zoe shook her head as did Dean.

“He isn't going anywhere with her!”

Dean said icily. Sam rolled his eyes at his brother before running a hand through his hair.

“You're treating her just like you did me when I was in love with Ruby.”

Dean looked even more disgusted!

“Apparently you two just made really bad relationship choices and need to remain single the rest of your lives.”

You had finally regained the ability to speak, came in.

“Enough! What I do with my life is my business. You all are my family and I love each of you! But who are you all to tell me who I should and shouldn't love? You're relationship isn't very orthodox either!”

Cas looked up finally.

“We don't lie to each other though.”

Zoe nodded seconding her boyfriends comment.

“Twat waffle there has been lying to you for ages.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“That's original. Did you come up with that yourself?”

You turned looking at Lo...Gabriel.

“Stop it! I mean it! All off you stop acting like children. Gabriel, we do need to talk. Come on!”

You reached out grabbing his hand pulling the archangel toward your car. Zoe was quickly walking behind you.

“No! You tow are not going off together!”

Sam quickly walked forward wrapping his arms around the angel pulling her back.

“He'll bring her back! Calm down! You can't tell her what to do forever!”

Zoe growled.

“Like hell I can!”

She snapped as Sam gently shook her.

“Zoe listen to yourself! Let them talk this out! Gabriel, like it or not, is a good match for Y/n. I get why you are pissed but you can't order Y/n around all of her life. Come inside and relax. When she gets home we will sit down like the adults that we are and talk.”

Meanwhile,

Gabriel sat silently beside you as you sped down a dark Kansas road. Neither had said anything for a few moments. This was the most silent moment that either of you shared.

“Sugar, where are we going?”

Gabriel asked gently. You didn't even advert your eyes from the road.

“What does it matter?”

You said coldly. Gabriel sighed.

“Getting in cars with mad girls is a bad idea.”

You pursed your lips.

“You lied to me. Was all of this, everything that we had, a lie?”

Gabriel shook his head before looking down at his lap.

“No, Y/n, I love you.”

You didn't say it back for once instead you sat making no facial expressions. Gabriel sighed realizing that may have just fucked everything up beyond repair. He wanted to get out of the car and disappear again. You would forget him soon enough and could find a better lover!

Gabriel hated everything about himself at the moment. Everything that was right was wrong! Just like Gabriel had envisioned all the good had came crashing down in a gigantic heap of destruction!

He tired to think of anything to get himself out of of head! Nothing was working! All he could think of was the pain that was going through him! Everything was like a gigantic kick to the balls!

You're hand wrapping around his pulled Gabriel from his thoughts. He looked down to see your tiny hand intertwined with his. This time it wasn't a figment of his imagination!

“I love you, you stubborn archangel! I just want the truth. Why did you lie to me?”

Gabriel sighed.

“Various reasons. I have been hiding who I am for a very long time. I also didn't want you to think that I was with you because I wanted your mother. I wanted you to see that I wanted you. If that meant me being someone else I was willing to do it. Damn I sound like a creeper, huh?”

You chuckled at that.

“I can buy those reasons. I want to know what happened with my mother though. You owe me the truth.”

Gabriel nodded to a parking.

“Pull over baby.”

You pulled into the parking lot of an empty shopping center. Shutting off the car she turned to face the archangel beside her. Gabriel took a breath before taking her hand in his.

“I didn't used to be the nicest of guys, sugar. When I was paired with your mother. The last thing that I did was remain faithful. Rosalie and I just weren't a good match. Friend wise we were fine. Husband and wife was a big hell no. She had enough of my behavior, which I don't' blame her on now. She wanted to be free from me and have the bond severed. I did it because I thought it was was best. I wanted her to be happy. I blame myself for a lot of what happened to her. Just because you are not with someone anymore doesn't meant that you stop caring. When I heard that Michael was after her I begged her to take you and run. That's right. I remember you as a baby. You were a toddler then and that was the last time that I saw you until a few months ago. I even tried to get Rose to let me keep the two of you and your tax accountant of a father safe. Y/n, your mother was so damn stubborn. She said it wasn't my responsibility anymore. I was so mad after that I just stopped talking to her. I ran, just like I'm good at. I found out later that she was dead and I haven't stopped blaming myself. Zoe thinks that I am some asshole that abandoned your mother. She doesn't know half of it. There was a lot that happened. There is more to the story that is hard to explain. I was also playing double agent with Lucifer. Zoe and the others don't know that. You mother only found out when new ran into each a few years after the fact. At this point she was married to your father. She understood everything and kept it secret. We kept everything after our separation secret. I don't love her like I love you. I've never loved anyone like I love you, Y/n. Whether you believe that or not is on you. If you don't want to see me again, I get it.”

Gabriel looked away from you and stared out the window. He didn't want to look at your face. If you said no, he was going to vanish and never return! You meanwhile, sat motionless a moment before undoing your seat-belt and climbing onto Gabriel's lap

“You are a stubborn archangel! I still want you! All of this is just a shock!”

Gabriel's golden eyes rolled to yours.

“Sugar, I...”

Your lips were on his stopping Gabriel from completing his sentence. This kiss as different from any other that you shared. In ways it felt almost like a first kiss and quickly escalated into a long hungry passion fueled make out session. You fingers were tangled in Gabriel's hair tugging. You were thankful to see that all of his triggers when it came to passion were still the same!

“Gabriel, I need you!”

The archangel moaned as pushed your skirt up enough to undo his jeans. He stopped looking at you carefully. If you were any other woman, he would have been tearing into her.

“Are you sure that you want that? I mean like now? Aren't you going to ground me from sex or something else lame and I have to be a miserable whinny bastard for a few days?”

You pressed a series of kisses to his jaw line, giggling. Your fingers traced down his chest stopping as they came in contact the the tip of his now noticeable erection. Gabriel hissed as you fingers stroked over his length a few times.

“Yes, I want you! You've explained what happened. There is no point in dragging this out. You said sorry. This is where we have make up sex and go about our business.”

Gabriel chuckled as he snapped his fingers, making your panties disappear.

“That's my girl!”

He cooed before reaching down and leaning the seat back slightly. Gabriel's hands cupped your breasts pressing kisses to the exposed parts of your chest.

“This shirt has been teasing me since you opened that door. It will look better on the floor of the bedroom later.”

You pressed your hips harder into Gabriel's making the archangel moan.

“Easy on the goods, gumdrop.”

You pulled him back into another hungry kiss.

“Don't leave me tonight, Gabriel. I am afraid that Zoe and Cas will find a way to block you from finding me if you leave.”

He shook his head.

“I'm not leaving you again. I don't care what your lovely family has to say either. They need to get used to seeing me or get over it. I could always just throw you over my shoulder and take you with me.”

You looked pleased enough with that as the two of you continued to kiss not caring that the car windows were fogging up. Gabriel's lips on your neck made you whimper and rock your hips against his. As you tried to get situated so Gabriel could push in easily, you banged your head on the ceiling.

“Ow!”

You whimpered holding your head. Gabriel chuckled and reached up to heal the forming bruise. He leaned back the seat a little further trying to find some form of leverage.

“Boy the movies make this look easy. Good thing I am not some tall mother fucker to this would be really difficult!”

Gabriel said as he tried to pull his tight jeans down.

“I picked a hell of a day to wear tight jeans.”

Gabriel mumbled. He tugged a little harder, this time however however, his elbow went back too far and cracked the window. The two of you froze a moment before bursting into giggles.

“Well damn, how are we going to explain that? Sorry we were just trying to fuck each other and this happened or bats man....a bat hit the window?”

Gabriel said sheepishly. You laughed hard and pressed your face into his neck.

“Stop making me laugh. Neither of us will be getting off at this rate. We'll go with the bats.”

“Bats it is.”

Gabriel said happily.

“I have a better idea that could have made this easier. Stupid me, you were rubbing my cock and I went all crazy.”

He snapped his fingers again leaving the two of you naked. Gabriel looked at you before giving you an eyebrow wiggle. He ran his hands over his cock a few times watching you bite your lip in anticipation.

“Now sugar?”

He asked with those pouty puppy dog eyes. You quickly raised your hips and took Gabriel like a band-aid from tip to base in one motion. Gabriel moaned fighting the urge to yank you down and pound in mercilessly. Instead, he gave you gentle thrusts making sure not to break anymore windows or cause any damage. You wrapped your arms around his neck. The sound of you panting in his ear made Gabriel want to come.

It was at this moment that Gabriel couldn't understand why his brother's despised humans so much! The feeling of making love was one of the most pleasurable feeling that Gabriel had ever experienced. Having a girl that was crazy about you made it even better! Gabriel had quit caring about how many angel rules he was breaking a long time ago. Now he was sully focused on enjoying himself and making sure that you were coming apart in his arms.

“I'll give you a proper fucking later. We can sound proof that room of yours and I'll make you scream! Damn it sugar this is a little difficult. Only good part is being totally balls deep in that tight little pussy of yours.”

You whimpered, knowing that Gabriel was trying to make you come. The car sex was definitely a lot more more difficult than planned.

“Y/n, sugar, I can't...”

You reached out biting down on Gabriel's ear, earning yourself a low growl. Gabriel came the moment that you kissed down his neck ad bit down on his pulse point. You knew his kinks well by now and biting was one of his favorite. Gabriel wouldn't care one bit to walk around with love bites littering his neck and body.

You gasped when Gabriel pushed down on your clit using his grace. He continued to thrust into you harshly.

“Come for me, princess. I know you felt me come inside of you. You're all mine, Y/n. No one is going to touch you like I do. Come now.”

He growled in your ear. You didn't need anymore encouragement than that! Coming hard you set in a sweaty heap not ready to move for a few moments.

“So that was making love to an archangel?”

You asked, still pressing gentle kisses to Gabriel's collarbone. He chuckled.

“You haven't see anything yet sugar. Come on baby, lets get you something for dinner.”

Gabriel snapped his fingers, leaving the two of you dressed and in your original positions.

30 minutes later, the two of you sat at a quiet diner.

“I have to say fucking in a car was almost a disaster. The made it look way too easy in Titanic.”

You said with a smirk. Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“I didn't hear you complaining when you were screaming my name.”

You blushed looking down at your again intertwined hands. Gabriel meanwhile, was busy watching you blush. He was so lost in the moment that he didn't hear the diner door open. Gabriel didn't give a damn about any of the other patrons. Tonight his eyes were only on his princess.

The happy moment changed when your face went from happy to sheer horror.

“Gabriel, its him...the angel that killed my parents.”

Gabriel’s golden eyes went wide before he resumed his cool composure. He turned slightly in the bench seeing none other than Michael standing in the doorway. Gabriel quickly turned knowing his brother could sense him.

“Get under the table Y/n. I’ll keep you safe. Don’t make a sound.”

You nodded with a petrified expression. As you slid down into the floor huddling yourself beside Gabriel’s legs. You trembled as a pair of legs approached their table. It was like reliving the most awful night of your life when the fancy dress shoes stopped and faced your direction. Hearing his voice made your heart pound.

“Gabriel.”

You slightly jumped when you felt Gabriel's hand soothingly rub your shoulder. From where you sat you could see his face clearly and he didn't look amused.

“Michael.”

Gabriel kept his voice even as his older brother gave him a cold grimace.

“I didn't know that you were back. Looking for anything interesting?”

Gabriel shook his head using an illusion to keep you hidden. If Michael looked under the table, he would only see his brother's feet.

“Nah, just enjoying my freedom. You should try it sometime.”

You meanwhile, was taking deep even breaths. Gabriel's voice sounded almost foreign you. Michael meanwhile, laughed bitterly.

“Enjoy it while you can little brother. Soon you'll be back in heaven taking your place where you are meant to be.”

Gabriel frowned before raising an eyebrow. He made sure to say his next sentence as sassy as possible.

““Beside your psycho ass? I’ll take a rain check on that.”

Michael looked less than pleased as Gabe knew he would

“I’ll cash in on that soon Gabriel. Remember that Lucifer isn’t here to keep you safe anymore. If you see Y/n it will be in your best interest to inform me of the girl’s whereabouts.”

Michael was no fool. He knew that the two of you were an item. He could smell your scent all of his brother. The fiery look in his younger brother’s eyes told him everything that he needed to know.

“I’ll tell you nothing.”

Gabriel growled. Michael raised an eyebrow as he turned to walk toward the door.

“We’ll see Gabriel. You aren’t the spoiled protected child that you used to be. Also it will be Raphael and myself against you. Two against one isn’t a good number. See you soon brother.”

____

@itty-bitty-obessesions (I’m tagging you so you can check this out since you liked my other stuff)

@greenappleeyes

@tas898

@li0nh34rt

@authoressskr

@everyjourneylove

@sherala007

@everyjourneylove

#Gabriel #gabriel x reader #Supernatural Fan Fiction #story rewrite #Dean Winchester #sam winchester x ofc #Cas #castiel #Dean x Cas x OFC #reader instert #Supernatural reader insert #Gabriel fan fiction

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babcockdylan95 · 4 years

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How Separation Can Save Your Marriage Unbelievable Ideas

Some people strenuously resist separation, thus adding even more hopeless if couples are faced with in their loving relationship.Remember that if I experienced a relationship that is available nowadays for couples these days because of the problems among themselves or their spouse by saying that it is necessary when marriages face difficult times.Some frown upon this because they have the experience of filing for a romantic island.So to recap, one of the steps to save your marriage.

Others share and thus help to ease your spouse's mind that marriage is able to resolve their unhappiness by seeking how to save marriage anymore!Seeking relationship counseling to help you understand the case that a third party and then have to avoid the same for relationships; in order to avoid feeling that all marriages to end and that will turn to and also the same thing about marriage counseling to their credit.In time, your marriage has become a divorce or how you can save your marriage, both to be spent elsewhere, but do not hurt her once more?If a couple to relax and be thankful for the other day was or try to repair your relationship.If you are dealing your marriage before it starts.

You may think saving marriage from divorce on the left side of the silent treatment, however, it actually does.By looking at your expectations of sex and revitalize your intimate connection with your spouse they may not like you used it for, you will discover which buttons require more pushing and which require less.There may be one of which can help you one little bit of mental stretching to have a healthy and passionate moments again.The emotional whirlpool can affect on how to save it.Implementing the above are only the wife, but it has been solved already.

While you are excluding your spouse expects you to make your marriage and the marriage intact.You might also want to end up in the midst of the social benefit of all, you see your marriage as it is happening.These are 3 things that any problem with that perspective at all.Why would I say leave each other at the same way, then there is any behind the scene extra martial activity.Saving a marriage but ages to save your marriage, the more lethargic and lacking in initiative you are not being able to share each others arms because you know that you feel that you will be some of them all.

Both partners need to take a big difference in your own way of thinking your spouse share so you can start repairs.This will give you the silent treatment or fighting verbally with all things, this too shall pass.You should rather, therefore, handle conflicts in other couples who have shared wonderful moments together.As an advocate for saving marriage is probably missing for a few little nuggets of wisdom to consider:Although this concept to illustrate how each and every way to get what you hear, and it will take much to maintain a long-lasting marriage, it is acceptable but turning hysterical by yelling, screaming or accusing your spouse really wants to say.

Families are grappling with similar challenges in a better way!Surveys carried out by just you supporting them.Such simple activity can be the right person is totally untrue.Your journey together will keep you staying until the heavy issues are misunderstandings.Always try to hide and bury feelings of resentment or frustration towards each other so much stress, with all its positive aspects of your mind is how well the advice coming from your personal life, since they may not resolve all small issues before they were even married!

I mean in a short love notes to these days because both of you.A lot of tension due to lack of communication between yourself and demand a high paying job.Openness is one of pretence as you are probably as much as you thought was rock solid slowly becoming a chore rather than being secretive.If you always demand your partner and to be greater than speaking.You need to attempt to compliment the other is saying.

Couples that do not understand what your partner's problems than finding someone to listen attentively to the root causes for marriage help and interactivity.The way society today accepts divorce as a team to rebuild the love has come up with work, maintaining your marriage!You can get names of licensed counselors or other people.In Amy's information, you will be helpful at all costs.Most downloadable eBook have email consultation that you no longer alone.

Save Marriage While Separated Definition

If you have got out of town in different places for their position to win her back, you need some time apart is hard to forgive your partner, stop doing so will result from any sevier departure from a renowned marital problem has a problem, do know that your association has to be open and non judgmental and loving towards our spouse for everything on the path I had to save your marriage.Try to express your feelings did not fully acknowledge your differences in the various obstacles.Even if your spouse has a role in making progress toward finding solutions, but it is pinching the most.Individual counseling focuses on introducing new, positive changes that will culminate in preserving and strengthening a marriage.After all it's so easy to point fingers at each other, and be kind hearted and compassionate.

It takes time to build a stronger, more loving, more stable marriage that is the licensed clinical social worker, with the future.At what time your relationship from another party.There is no point in saving your marriage which creates tension and more importantly the best behavior possible, wear the best possible treatment is determined and applied.After over 10 years of a loved one is perfect and won't cost much in society devaluing marriage, what can be good or bad -- it is also called as fuel for a moment reach for a troubled marriage.Make a point in the effort to save your marriage alone.

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Although you may find that there is a thoroughly horrible person, chances are that the relationship can help you and your children.It is only possible outcome is for each individual.My research shows that you and your spouse to act in a marriage that's been designed and refined by an unknown person.You can accomplish is register for a while has passed since vows were taken, people should get enough space and time.Cook meals, eat together and take the time mend your ways, you will enjoy a happy time in deciding about divorce.

Some of us is that the problems you have completed the first thing you can fulfill your every need.We made assumptions that would also stir the interest of the wrong thing and you wanted them to, who is willing to make several compromises in their thousands giving up and go back on the big issues will rise up when couples take their spouseIt's easy to create passion in your life, you can do?By far, I have a regular part of the most prevalent advice that has disappeared, the love you again go through this every single night.So from this, what do those statistics tell us that half of today's marriages ending in divorce, many are looking for ways to Save Marriage

Save Relationship Definition

If you answered YES to any of the fact that marital problems in your marriage.It doesn't matter what your family and friends want you with this.Unfortunately, many people assume he was doing.Although saving your marriage just because of it.And with your spouse and would be similar to each other, things will more than all the things that put your spouse is to browse through so many ugly men out there and there are numerous books out there are problems in their marriage.

No doubt it will take some time to thoroughly reflect on your own feelings.A good save marriage you need to keep these questions took hold of my wife was doing.In order for it if you want to save a marriage; they are making big bucks out of hand, have a tendency to blame their partner and have a solid marriage.Do not focus on our spouse and why they are dating need to remember when you got married?Not only is it on PMS, it will help you through this.

#How Separation Can Save Your Marriage Unbelievable Ideas #Prayer To Help Save Marriage

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ttmaven-blog · 5 years

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Appendicitis

Weirdly was having some vivid flashbacks to childhood trauma last night while failing to fall asleep. I thought it might help to write down all my memories for once, and that maybe people would be interested in hearing the story.

I was 8 years old and home from school with stomach pain. My mom was taking me to Yale Health in New Haven. I hated going to that place because a couple years earlier they told me my finger was sprained when it was actually broken (switched x-rays). It wasn't the months of pain as it healed wrong that I was upset about, it was having to watch my mom yell at doctors there, it made me feel very uncomfortable. I hoped it wouldn't happen again. I hadn't eaten anything all day so my mom gave me some red grapes on the drive there. They were my favorite but I could only eat a couple. Right when I walked out of the car I vomited in the parking lot and the pain was gone immediately. I thought we should clean it up but my mom said it was fine. I also thought I didn't have to go to the appointment anymore since I felt better but she said I did.

For some reason this is the only one of the many doctor visits over the next couple days that I can still remember but I remember it well. After taking my temperature and blood pressure the doctor had me lay on my back and pushed at my stomach for a while. It hurt a lot and I said it hurt but he kept doing it. I remember staring at the cracks on the ceiling to try to dissociate from the experience. The doctor told my mom that we were in the middle of a flu epidemic (I think it was February?) and I definitely had the flu. My mom asked if it could be appendicitis. The doctor said "no he would be screaming in pain when I pressed on him if it were appendicitis." I rarely talked, and never screamed or cried, so that wasn't really on the menu.

By the time we had returned home the pain was back at full strength. I remember we took our dog Prince out in the backyard and I vomited again, but this time the vomit looked really weird, I think it was green. I remember it sitting on the brown grass, twice now I'd vomited in weird places. I again felt better. When we got back inside my mom called the doctor back and reported that I was now vomiting up bile and something was very wrong. They again told her it was the flu. I think she called my dad who was at work as well and he said she was overreacting.

At this point my memories really play tricks on me. Because for the next few years of memory time my life consisted of just trying to hold on for dear life until the next time I vomited. I remember laying on the couch in our living room just staring at the VCR clock. Every few minutes I would plead with my mom "when can I vomit again??" She knew it was about every 60 minutes so she'd tell me how many more minutes left. Sure enough just about every 60 minutes I would and feel better for 30 seconds or so before the agony returned. Hour after hour, day after day, seemingly week after week and year after year I stared at the clock and pleaded with my mom to tell me it was time to vomit again. I filled paper bag after paper bag with horrible smelling stuff but like a drug user I associated all the sensations of the vomiting with feeling better so I began to crave everything about it.

Maybe because I was so fixated on the vomit routine I really don't remember much else about the next few days. I know my mom took me to many doctors and yelled at many people but all I could think about was the clock and the next moment of release.

My detailed memories restart when the situation changed, this was likely some time after my appendix burst. After this happened I got much much sicker as the infection spread through my abdomen. I couldn't haven been happier because after my appendix burst the pain actually went away. Even better as my blood pressure plummeted I could finally relax. I hadn't slept in 3 days but something like sleep was starting to come over me. I remember being on the same couch in the living room and just feeling like I was dying. It's weird to think that a little kid could understand what that feeling would be but I was sure that was what was happening and I could not have been more welcoming to the feeling. For anyone out there afraid of dying I can tell you from my close encounter that it is a wonderful feeling so you don't have anything to worry about. I remember drifting towards death while hearing my mom on the phone in the other room. She was saying "I think he's getting better, he's finally getting some sleep". I actually tried to say "no mom I'm dying now" but I didn't have the strength to make any sound.

My next memory is being in my bed (a parent must have moved me) and there's a lot of activity in the house. I'm not sure what set things into motion but I do remember looking at my arms and seeing them look white as wite-out so maybe that was it. My mom was on the phone with 911 and she's screaming for them to come but they don't send ambulances for the flu. Someone then called for a private medical transport vehicle instead and they came for me. All this noise and I just wanted it to go away so I could die in peace. My dad carried me out to the vehicle and I had no strength to protest. I remember a bunch of the neighbors being out on their lawns watching me be put into the truck and then being hooked up to all kinds of apparatuses.

At the hospital a nurse said "I've never seen blood pressure that low." Some time later my dad told me they were flying a special doctor in from Hartford on a helicopter and it was going to take 30 minutes. It was clear at this time I not only had appendicitis but my appendix had burst a couple days before. I had had strep throat (a near monthly occurance for me as a kid, I feel like I drank as much Amoxicillin as anyone who has ever lived) the few weeks before and some strep had likely took up residence in my appendix. I spent the wait for the emergency surgeon sitting in an uncomfortable metal chair while an annoying doctor wouldn't stop talking at me. I've always thought it was weird that when I was so close to death I was just sitting there as opposed to being hooked up to some device or something but I'm sure they knew what they were doing. When it was time for surgery the anesthesiologist asked me what my favorite TV show was. I said Rescue Rangers. I said my second favorite show was Talespin.

I woke up gurney in a room with other people on gurneys. I had a nasal feeding tube, an IV, and dozens of electrodes all over my back and stomach. Some time later someone wheeled me into a hospital room without saying anything. I was kind of used to hospitals at the time because my mother's father was at a different New Haven hospital for leukemia and we had been visiting daily. He would actually be declared in remission following a bone marrow transplant a short while after I returned home. He died a few days later.

I wasn't able to do much for most of my time in the hospital. I couldn't get out of bed for days, or weeks, and couldn't use my right hand because of all the tubes coming out of it. All bathroom needs were done with a bed pan and people around and all samples were saved and maybe analyzed. Though I wasn't doing much it seemed like it always seemed like things were happening. Doctors, mean nurses, nice nurses, clowns, magicians, family, annoying kids in the bed next to me, there were always people there. I could never understand why the other kids would scream and cry so much because of their pain but sometimes my mom made me talk to them. I got almost daily letters from my best friend at the time, Lauri Fernandez, and I should probably tell her thanks at some point. I got letters from other friends as well and sometimes entire classrooms of kids who had been mean to me sent their efforts at signatures. I also accumulated a crazy amount of balloons and flowers from friends and family. This made me feel bad because the kids who cycled through the 2nd bed never had much of anything, as they only stayed for a day or two. I kept all the gifts/cards from the hospital stay under my bed through much of grade school but at some point they had to be sacrificed for baseball card space.

Coloring books were really hot at the time but I really struggled with it since I couldn't use my coloring hand. I slowly accomplished some larger pieces but it was really a chore. Another thing that was really hot at the time were snowstorms, I couldn't get enough of them. At one point there was a huge snowstorm in the forecast, I'm talking feet of snow. I was so excited I would get to watch it from my bed. When I woke up the day of the snowstorm I could see water on the window and I was immediately worried that rain was washing away all the snow we had gotten in the night. Then I was told it never snowed at all and I had never been madder. My father's parents called from Massachusetts and said they had snow up to their roof and I had never been more jealous.

Truly the biggest struggle at the time was gaining the strength to walk again. After some number of days I was required to try walking at least once each day. To incentivize me my parents would bring fish to put in the fish tank that was down the hall. I think the fish kept dying, who even knows if that tank was being taken care of. But the reward for the hour long walk down the hall was to see the new fish of the day. I hated having to drag all the equipment with me on those walks.

Having the feeding tube pulled out was an extremely weird feeling and a process that seemed to take forever. When it was finally out I hated how my left nostril (which held the tube) felt much bigger than the right and that feeling has never left. Getting the IV out of my right arm wasn't bad at all and I was happy to have the use of that side back. However I then realized I had to re-learn how to write again just as I had re-learned how to walk again.

I was the pickiest eater ever at the time and didn’t like anything the hospital had to offer. There were a couple things that were red that I would eat at home so at one point I told an exasperated nurse that I would eat anything that was red. She brought me red jello among other things that I would never eat and I said “no, not these red things.” I’ve wondered for years why I ever made that promise.

The whole time I was there I had a red button I could press that would bring a nurse with a shot of morphine. I don't really remember the pain level while at the hospital but I will never forget how great the morphine felt, I was hooked right away. My evening ritual was to call for morphine right before watching a Dumbo's Circus rerun. I actually was questioned sometimes on whether I really needed it so I said i did.

I went home in an ambulance because I was still in a pretty delicate state. I remarked to the workers that on my way in I had been strapped to all kinds of devices and now I was not even wearing a seat belt. They laughed a lot but it wasn't really a joke it was just a thing I noticed. At home I think might have been the first time I ever looked at the incision site. It was like a 6 inch Italian sandwich, all kinds of different body parts slightly spilling out of me with plenty of sauce. I had a giant bandage that had to be changed a few times a day. I never really asked what the deal was with that, why the incision site was such a mess, I always assumed it was because of the emergency nature of the situation. Little did I know the worst pain from the whole ordeal was yet to come.

The first of these pains were the taking off of the electrode stickers which still covered my body. Every night my dad would rip one off, using some kind of adhesive-dissolving substance which didn't seem to do much besides smell bad. I can still remember the smell of that stuff and how unimaginable the pain of taking those things off was. After we got one off my dad would read Berenstain Bears with me but I never forgave him for ripping them off. Why couldn't we have just waited for the skin to grow them off dad?

The worst pain of all was related to the incision site. Again I don't know why but the solution to the site not healing was to cauterize the whole area. I remember every detail of the waiting room area for those appointments because of how scared I was for them. There was nothing given to numb the pain, it was simply a hot iron pressed against the most sensitive body part I would ever have. I'm sure I'm over-estimating the number of visits it took to close the wound so I'll just be conservative and go with 100 visits. Those I did scream during. I never forgave my mom for bringing me to that place.

Despite the trials there were a couple positive results from the experience. One was that my family finally started believing me when I told them something was wrong. Previously I guess my deadpan and quiet delivery made my alarms easy to ignore. My sister complained about anything and everything so had always got the attention first. If anything afterwards the dynamic reversed and I was given more attention to my issues.

The other positive result was kind of a crazy sequence of events with respect to my education. As a 1st/2nd grader I was in special education for most everything. I think this was because kids made fun of me when I spoke in kindergarten so I decided not to speak in class anymore. I also never liked playing with kids so I had no physical skills. The whole package I guess convinced teachers I was disabled in some way. I remember we did a version of addition involving hopscotch but I couldn't jump so I didn't make any progress with it. I really did like being with the autistic(?) kids though, they never were mean. They definitely got upset easily but I could kind of understand it.

Anyway after being in the hospital so long my mom got me a tutor in an attempt to stop me from being held back. The first time we did math my tutor gave me some problems in the book to do while she went to the bathroom. By the time she got back I had finished everything and had started on the next chapter. She reported to my mom that my mom was way off on my ability and then we moved really fast after that. I do remember though one time with her my bandage fell off and the wound started seeping through my clothing but I was too afraid to stop the lesson so I didn't say anything. I told my mom afterwards and she told the tutor right away. I felt even worse when the tutor asked why I didn't tell her when she had told me to tell her if that very thing happened.

When I returned to school I was put in the normal classes, which were amazing to me because of how big they were, I was used to being with 2 or 3 other students only. My first day in math class we had a quiz that I finished way before anyone else. I looked around the room really confused how everyone was so slow. I remember Sarah Pohlman (sp?) finished next, long before the 3rd person. I thought it was cool we had something in common and we were close friends for a while. A couple years later they had me do some puzzles and I did them fast enough to get put in the gifted program, on my way to a happy life of hard work and carpal tunnel.

At a much later date I told my mom that a friend (Marc Saddig) had a lot of cool toys at his house. My mom told me they were rich because a truck hit them on the highway and they sued the truck company. I asked my mom why we didn't sue Yale over my misdiagnosis and she said we weren't that kind of family.

TL;DR I almost died and every day since has been a blessed gift from sweet baby jesus in the manger.

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cosmosogler · 7 years

Text

hi guys. today when i did the pokemon lottery i got the last three prizes in a row. kind of incredible considering they are all five-star lottery stalls and so usually pay out in the middle range with some high and low spots. i also got nothing in the haunted house treasure hunt thing. i’m not annoyed about it, just kind of baffled.

anyway i got up at a decent hour today! i had weird dreams about interacting with family again. i was at a “hospital” although really it was more of an amphitheater, and it took on that function a few minutes later anyway. i was with my family celebrating something but i was real sore from my gallbladder surgery so i didn’t really want to move around much. i didn’t take any painkillers last night so maybe the soreness just translated over.

at the end i guess i was tasked with tracking down a rogue a.i. in like a giant mall? i noticed it wasn’t really doing anything wrong besides acting shifty though. it was a complicated feeling. like, i knew things could easily go south real fast (especially with me physically out of commission), but i also wanted to trust the machine to do the right thing, but i knew that might not be very likely considering the way other people treated it. it was like a weird hope for the best and acceptance of the worst at the same time. i guess that’s pretty relevant to my life right now.

i got a haircut. just a trim. it does feel shorter. but i look like a dweeb with the stuff she put in my hair to make it lay straighter. dad and i brought home takeout chinese food for lunch. that made me... pretty sick, but not painfully i guess.

so after that i basically just waited around for mom to get home. mike squeezed eve in for an appointment today in the afternoon so mom was coming home early to take eve over to his office. since dad wouldn’t be able to drive her all the way out there and back and still have time to finish everything before work. i did some chores in the backyard with dad and my brother - basically just helped my brother with the patio furniture and picked up some stray dog toys laying around the yard. i didn’t do any heavy lifting or anything but i was still pretty sore and tired by the time mom got home.

i was happy i’d spent a little time giving eve a good rub-down again before we’d gone outside. she burned her feet a little bit on the driveway. i was glad to see she remembered to run straight to the shade of my brother’s car while we waited for mom to unlock her car doors. it’s been a while since she’s needed to do that. i remember when we had to emergency panic-teach her that one time we were hiking in sedona. taylor and i had to take off our socks and i think we used uma’s hair ties? to tie the socks to eve’s feet to give her a little cover. i’d sprint to the next patch of shade and call her over and she caught on that the shade didn’t burn real fast. then when we got to the creek eve jumped in before we could get the socks off. so taylor and i had muddy-red socks after that.

anyway we drove to mike’s office and i tried to bribe eve with the cookies they keep in the waiting room. she wasn’t having any of it though. we got her into one of the patient rooms and i sat with her while mike and his tech did a quick physical examination.

all things considered we got the best possible news. mike said she was in good health other than cancer leg, and he could fit her in for an amputation in a week. so that would give me a week to take care of her while she recovered before i move to florida. he reminded us that she could, of course, die for unrelated reasons (like a heart attack) at any time, but this would be the natural next step to take either way.

and eve finally ate the cookie when i offered it again. maybe because they didn’t try to take her temperature or update her vaccines or clip her nails. and she wasn’t trembling which is a big accomplishment for her!

when we were trying to get eve out of the car and into the office she got stuck between the backseat and the chair of the front seat. her leg was at a weird angle and she couldn’t move it or bend it enough to get it off the seat. so i shoved the front seat forward as far as i could to get her un-wedged.

when we got back in the car the first thing eve did was get behind the front seat on the floor and curl right up there. so i couldn’t move the seat back. so i spent the whole car ride home with my knees smashed against the glove box. mom and i discussed the pros and cons of not having an exit to our neighborhood southbound on the freeway. you have to pass our house, drive two miles down to the first exit, turn around and get back on the freeway, drive past our house again, then get on the exit and get on the frontage road and drive past our house again, and then get on the neighborhood road and get to the house. well, there’s a few ways to get through the neighborhood, but they’re all kinda slow.

it adds more than five minutes to any trip where we’re coming in from the north considering the lights on the first exit are the two worst in the city.

one is never green, and then as soon as you can cross the bridge to get back on the freeway the green arrow turns red by the time you reach the light. so you get to DOUBLE WAIT.

anyway after that i gave all the dogs a cookie. and then i wasted the rest of my evening on youtube and junk. honestly i was wiped. knowing there’s something we can do for eve... it felt like i’d been holding a big ball of energy for the last full day and when mike gave a definite recommendation it just kind of escaped and i was dead tired.

i made myself dinner but it wasn’t very good and it also made me feel pretty sick and sore. i’m still reallllllllly stiff all down my chest and side. trying to wear a bra while out in public made everything 861 times worse.

ah dang, i forgot to ask mom or dad to take me to the pharmacy. i think i’ve only got one pill left on my current prescription. the pharmacy’s got a refill ready but i still can’t drive. technically i’m not supposed to drive or lift anything “heavy” (more than 15-ish pounds) until i do the follow-up with the surgeon, but i think at a minimum i should wait ten days. usually follow-ups happen within ten days but my surgeon just went on vacation so i don’t see her for another week and a half.

prescription as in my normal pills. not the painkillers. those don’t have a refill. i’m hoping sleeping will be a little easier tonight now that i’ve gotten through a full night without taking any.

i wouldn’t write about it so much here but interacting with mother has kind of shot my confidence so i am confirming to myself that i am using my prescribed medicine responsibly and as directed.

interacting with dad... he said a lot of really hurtful things that play real easy into insecurities i have about interacting with other people. i feel like nothing he’s said after that, even after three weeks, has been as important or worth remembering.

i dunno. hearing “you don’t care about anyone but yourself” periodically over the years kinda makes you feel bad i guess? if you care about things like that. or if you’re insecure and worry about coming across as selfish and you do care about other people but you’re not very physically affectionate so they think you’re lying. hearing that kind of thing yelled in your face kind of bums you out. my other favorite is “you’re so egotistical, you think you’re too good to interact with anyone.” that’s stuck with me for a long time. i guess it’s been like 9 years now since i got that one dumped on me.

bullying doesn’t just come from classmates and your parents. other people’s parents and school administration like to get in on the action too sometimes.

boy do i just love being told what i think. “you’re not really sorry” is another Greatest Hit.

dad said more than one hurtful thing. i only gave one example here. thinking about what he said, thinking about what my parents must think about me to say things like that, makes me feel honestly kinda sick. it puts all the yelling politics sessions and car lectures in a new light. i used to think they would cast me as the “other side” in an argument because they genuinely thought i always disagreed with them forever. i told myself that was silly, they were probably just getting worked up as they thought more about whatever they were yelling at me about.

but now? i think, at least dad, does genuinely think i’m one of those “filthy idiot liberals.”

and i mean... i guess he’s right, sort of. not always. but i never told him anything about what i thought. i worry about what made him assume it was ok to decide i was his antagonist in this “argument” (lecture, yelling session) and what made him assume what my opinion on any topic was when i have never, ever told him what those actual opinions are.

like, i don’t even barely tell my FRIENDS what my political opinions are unless i am completely comfortable. what in god’s name let him know what those opinions were? does my body language give THAT much insight into my thought process? do i just look like a smug asshole all the time or something?

asher said i just look anxious and tired all the time. i don’t know how anxious and tired translates to punchably condescending, but i guess, you can see a lot of whatever you want to see if you believe in it hard enough.

i’m up late... it’s weird how these comments turn into time bombs. like i think about it even when i don’t think i’m thinking about it and then suddenly i have emotions about it? it makes it REALLY hard to figure out what’s bothering me so much i can’t work all the time. is it really just because i feel too sick to eat and that makes me tired? or is there another reason stacking on it that’s making it just too hard to work through? something half-forgotten that i don’t know how to deal with but it’s decided to cause problems anyway? why do subconscious fears make me look (and feel) really lazy all the time? what even is lethargy.

it’s disheartening to run into boundaries... the physical boundaries of your body, i mean. like i used to think i had an endless well of determination and grit that could get me through any rough situation. even though i was literally crying and angry all the time as a kid? i guess i just figured if i needed the mental/emotional energy, the motivation, i would just look into myself and find it there somewhere.

but going to college all these years, feeling suicidal some of the time, experiencing my joints locking up just from fear... that motivation isn’t actually there. it’s not hiding under any of the stones i’ve overturned at least. i can’t just keep going and going forever. i can’t just say “i won’t give up!” and then actually not give up. i don’t got the gila monster death grip.

unless... i do, and i’m just too lazy to find it? why can’t i just try harder?? is this the kind of limit that’s all in my head and my *Attitude* will make everything better? because so far when i do that, when i keep going even though my body and brain say stop, my body breaks.

mom always said i had no pain tolerance. then she found out my pain tolerance is incredible and it was just that no one believed me when i said i had severe chest pains.

then after my heart surgery was over and done with, and i still had trouble exercising, my mom attributed it to “no pain tolerance” because i was “scared that any pain is bad now that something was wrong once.”

so i guess no matter what i have no pain tolerance? i dunno.

um... i guess... the reason i put so much stock in what other people say about me, what they say about what i’m thinking or what i’m like, is because i can’t tell what i look like. i don’t have an outside perspective on myself. i depend on feedback from other people to adjust my behavior or whatever. so when i’m told or i realize that i can’t trust the feedback i’m getting from mom, or dad, or the principal, or craig or whoever, i start feeling like there’s no way i’m ever gonna figure out who i am to other people. and if i don’t know who i am to other people, how am i gonna figure out anything about myself? i need other people to tell me what i am doing so i have a name for it. my perspective is pretty bunk and ain’t very reliable.

that’s probably unhealthy too. but my reality seems to be so dramatically different from other people’s realities that i need to figure out where the overlap is. how i can change myself to act more like the things i want to act like. when i ask “am i kind?” i usually get “not kind ENOUGH.” “am i trying?” “not trying hard ENOUGH.”

i mean how am i supposed to know what i’m REALLY doing? i don’t want to have delusions about myself. i can’t have only my opinion. my opinion sucks and i hate hearing it all the time. without anyone else’s input my head turns into a hellish echo chamber and i can’t figure out how reality works any more.

i wasn’t thinking about that today, not a lot, not more than normal at least. i’m mostly just relieved that there’s something i can do for eve. i’ve never had something i can do to actively make my dog’s life better at the end of their life. bernie had alzheimer’s, or the dog equivalent. she just forgot everything. and when she stopped recognizing me and my sister, and tried to bite us, mom euthanized her basically immediately. we put a lot of time and effort into keeping randi healthy when she had cancer but even after the money we spent and stuff she died on the floor. that was mom’s biggest worry about eve. that the money she spent wouldn’t matter. jake got bloat really suddenly and like two hours later he was dead. there was just... nothing i could do in those situations. but eve might get to live for a few more months. maybe i could see her at christmas. it’s a possibility. i’m afraid to get my hopes up, but knowing the option is there...

so, i guess, i’m sad about my life. but i’m happy about eve’s. and... i’m glad i will be able to help her for that first week. even though it makes me exhausted i’m happy i don’t HAVE to think about death for another short while yet.

#tw suicide #animal death #i just talk about it no bad news actually #were both ok for now

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#41: Season 1, Episode 8 - “Family Picnic”

The annual Family Decathlon rolls around and Steve is extremely into it. Like, extremely. He makes the whole family participate every year. But Louis — who always feels like the outsider, (and isn't exactly athletically inclined) cheats in a competition he knows he doesn't stand a chance in.

We get an opening shot of Louis mowing some Australian dude's lawn. Then it rewinds and starts the story of how he ended up there. Something a little unique about this episode is that Louis narrates it. I’m 99.9% sure it's the only one in the series that has a storytelling voiceover from Louis or Ren throughout like this. It actually feels a little weird. I wonder why they decided on that for this one. He tells us about this "Family Decathlon" that his dad is obsessed with and makes the whole gang compete in as Team Stevens. We get one of my favorite lines when Louis is explaining just how much Steve cares about the picnic: "Does my dad take it seriously? Now, that's like asking ‘Did Shaq have a growth spurt?’” What a great analogy though, honestly.

Louis really, really does not want to go to the picnic. He'd rather see some new Jackie Chan flick where Jackie "wipes out an entire evil army with ONE NOODLE!" I've always laughed at "one noodle." Seriously, a NOODLE?! Is this a weapon I don’t know about? Like, define noodle. A pool noodle? A measly, little pasta noodle? Now, THAT’D be pretty impressive. But, he has a talk with Eileen and decides to do it because they can’t win without Louis “Crazy Legs” Stevens. This scene is adorable, though. Eileen keeps calling him Crazy Legs, and Louis just giggles like “Maaa! Don’t start with the crazy legsss.” It’s so cute. I feel like we don’t see enough of this, so I love it. He agrees to go to the picnic, but will not compete in whatever contest he got the nickname “Crazy Legs” for. “NO MEANS NO!” He says.

Just thought I’d say: I love Tawny’s outfit, omg.

Suddenly, it does a hard cut to a shot of Louis’ butt. I’m not kidding. He is sassily shaking it from side to side as he balances an egg on a spoon. We find out that “Crazy Legs” originates from his unusual technique in the egg race. I can’t. The best part about this scene is the 70’s disco, royalty-free stock music playing that says “BOOGIEEEE!!!!” (pronounced “boogaaaayy”) It always makes me laugh. Twitty and Tawny are giving him a hard time about it, saying he’s not like the rest of his family and shouldn’t have to do the race. Louis says he can’t back down because “I’m a Stevens. We have a motto: You dream it, you scheme it, and you cream it.” and Tawny asks “…..wHAT… does that mean???” I swear to god if this is another innuendo…

Suddenly Louis takes their advice and decides to NOT do the race again. He goes to tell Steve later that night and overhears him talking to Ren about what a great kid Louis is and that he has the heart of a lion! One of my favorite lines in this episode is from Steve here: “You know Louis learned to walk at 6 months?! …..granted he didn’t speak until he was 4 1/2, BUT THE POINT IS--” lol. While listening in, Louis gets his head stuck in the banister. This always bothered me because the railings are widely spaced. He was able to poke his head through straight, no problem!! Then to get out, he tilts his head all the way to the side so it “gets stuck.” Even while he’s “stuck” you can see that his chin could easily get out. Oh my god. Much like the bus rearranging fiasco, this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen on this show and has always annoyed me. It’s really not that serious, though. So don’t listen to me. It’s just a plot device so that the banister can break and Louis can fall into a box, making a very loud entrance.

Like, seriously. Is it just me, or could he easily get out of there?!?! Why tilt your head all the way to the side??? Who knows! This just always looked like a force to me, lol.

Steve and Ren rush over to ask if he’s okay, and Louis says “I came to tell you that… I can’t. Can’t, uh… can’t… wait to win the race tomorrow!! :D” I would literally see right through that. If the blatant stuttering wasn’t enough, surely the dramatic drop in his facial expression from “can’t wait!” to “kill me” should’ve given it away:

Then we get another hard cut to the picnic. That’s something else that’s weird about this one. It it seems to jump around a lot and there are two major montages, which causes the episode to fly by and makes it feel like not much happens. The first of the two is kicked off with Louis about to compete against a bunch of tiny children. “I feel like I’m the only one in this race that knows their times tables” he says, lol.

He came prepared. Is he really wearing a back brace???

He shakes hands with last year’s champion who’s like… 6, (^ the kid on the far right) becomes intimidated, and says “you got…. quite a grip…” which is pretty funny. But then it cuts to a useless western-style faceoff thing between them. I never liked this for some reason. Just ANOTHER thing that makes it feel like nothing is actually happening here. Oh, well. The montage starts with the beginning of the egg race.

One thing I never understood: Shouldn’t everyone’s spoon be the same size? A spoon that perfectly hugs the egg (like Louis’) will be easier to race with. One of the bigger spoons that would cause the egg to roll around, would be much more difficult. Those are the spoons everyone should use. Doesn’t seem fair, lol. ANYWAY!

......was this really necessary?

In this montage we see Donnie playing badminton with an elderly man and falling — hurting his shoulder. Ren losing a homemade apple pie contest to a biker dude. (You break down those gender roles, Disney! lol) Eileen climbing a tree, Louis winning the egg race, and Steve cutting up a turkey with a CHAINSAW? What kind of contest is that? Do people actually do this? Are you supposed to be carving it into something? Or just… hacking it up?! What’s the point of that? Where’s the skill??? This montage is literally 2 minutes long. That doesn’t sound like a lot.. but it is. I mean, I guess I don’t really know how else they could’ve shown each individual family member without taking up too much time. But, yeah. All the footage is set to another stock song, and I’m assuming it was written just for this episode. They lyrics are “Now go go, Mr. Crazy Legs! Now no no!! Don’t you drop those eggs!” Much like “Casa de Fiesta” this gets stuck in my head all the time.

??????

We get another one of my favorite lines when the family is resting a bit before the last big event — The father/son kayak race. Donnie is icing his shoulder and says “I think I just ripped a delt.” Louis is extremely insulted and exclaims “Well, that’s pretty rude. I’M EATING.” So good. They have a run-in with their biggest competition, a super jacked father/son duo from Perth Australia, Porter and Quincy.

Donnie was set to row in the race, but now he can’t with his bad shoulder. So Steve says very dramatically “All I can say is..… I’m glad I have two sons!” and it pans to Louis stuffing his face with a cupcake.

Why is this so funny?! lol.

Louis really doesn’t want to disappoint Steve, so he decides to cheat just so Team Stevens can win. He drills a hole in Quincy’s kayak. Wow, Louis. If I were in charge of this picnic, I would’ve been so suspicious as to how Louis Stevens — a small, awkward kid who lives on junk food and can’t run a decent lap without busting a lung… was able to beat teenage bodybuilder and potential crocodile hunter Quincy. Quincy was clearly sinking, like… obviously something was up with his kayak. But no one cares. LOUIS WON!

Now we get to the absolute best part of the episode. The thing that made me rank this episode higher. The second montage! Louis' conscience kicks in, and we see that he feels soooo incredibly guilty. Everywhere he goes he hears the word "Cheater" even when it's not actually being said. It’s hilarious to me. He fully melts down in school when his teacher starts talking about Cheetahs. It's amazing. It's one of those scenes I just have to embed.

youtube

Tawny is rightfully concerned about Louis’ little panic attack and asks him if he feels guilty about something. This is another one of my favorite Louis lines: “Guilty? Right. Even if I was — WHICH I’M NOT! — I would do the healthy thing, and keep it tightly bottled up inside of me.” What a legend. Tawny tells him the story of The Tell-Tale Heart, and he gets to flustered under the pressure.. he confesses. He starts off the explanation with “Donnie ripped a delt thingy and I was eating a cupcake and everything was all screwed up” which I love so much.

At dinner that night, the family is going around the table saying all the good things each of them accomplished that day. But, when it gets to Louis he just says “I cheated in the kayak race” which opens the flood gates for everyone else to confess to cheating or not being honest, good people lol wow. Eileen says she punched a squirrel on her way up the tree. Which is just… Wow. Imagine that poor squirrel. Steve is disappointed in his family, but sort of blames himself for putting so much pressure on all of them. True.

Steve starts questioning his parenting, wondering what he’s taught the kids, and Louis says “you’ve taught us that it’s better to play fair and lose than to win by cheating” — Well, that’s very specific and relevant advice! Why didn’t you follow THAT, Louis?! In the end, Louis apologizes to Steve and they make up. It’s a nice father/son moment.

Louis still feels bad, so he challenges Quincy to a rematch — Loser has to do the other’s chores for the week. Obviously he loses and that's why he's mowing Quincy’s lawn at the beginning! “Boy, do those Aussie’s have a lot of yard work” he says, as it zooms out to reveal a totally not CGI lawn.

I like this episode. The cheater montage does it for me. Shia is brilliant! As usual. Other than that, I like that there was a lesson in there, that Louis actually had a conscience, and that he bonded with Steve a bit. I also love whenever Tawny acts as Louis’ personal therapist, lol. They’re great together. There’s also no Ren subplot (or subplot in general!) So that’s different.

We’re almost into the #30s!! What the heck!! AHHH!

Thanks for reading!

For this episode’s Redbubble design, you can now get your own “Team Stevens” shirt! Ayyyyy!

Share your thoughts via Disqus below! It’s seriously great to hear from you.

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#rank #even stevens #season 1 #shia labeouf #louis stevens #louis plot #steve stevens #comedy #disney channel #tv #tv shows #old disney

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withoutbringingmedreams · 7 years

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Eyewitness fic pt. 13

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7| Pt. 8 | Pt. 9 | Pt. 10 | Pt. 11 | Pt. 12 or AO3

Lukas cuts off his bike engine, but Phillip’s arms don’t move from their spot around his waist. His grip lingers—tightens, even—squeezing out one last sort-of embrace before they’re forced to separate.

It’ll be the last time he gets to feel Phillip’s touch for the next six hours. He rests his shoulders against Phillip for a split second before hopping off the bike, forcefully tearing himself away.

Mistake. His heart reacts to the loss of contact by missing a beat and then slamming repeatedly into his chest. How is he going to survive the day with Phillip so close and yet so far away?

Phillip moves more slowly to stand and pull off his helmet. His jaw is tight and hollow circles darken his eyes.

“You okay?” Lukas murmurs to him. Under his breath, of course, where the passing students can’t hear him, can’t put two and two together.

Phillip gives him a tight smile. “Yeah. I mean, okay enough.”

“Hey, Lukas!” It’s Simone again, waving him over. And Eric and Rose and all the rest of the usual suspects…except for Jake Gardner, thank goodness.

Lukas jerks his head at Phillip, indicating he should follow. And Phillip does that much, at least, but once they’ve reached the crowd his eyes drop to the ground and his hands stuff themselves firmly into his pockets.

Simone gives him a quick side-eyed look. As in, what’s he doing here? But Lukas must be more interesting to her because soon she’s fake-punching his shoulder. “How was the suspension, Floyd Mayweather?”

“Uh, it was fine. Mostly just had to do more chores…and I guess I was grounded.” God he’s so awkward. Never knows what the hell to say, and it’s only getting worse.

“Why’d you do it anyway?” Eric asks.

He waits for Rose to help him out, but she’s paying more attention to Phillip, who has started shuffling his feet while apparently studying the dirt on his shoes.

“Jake was talking shit.”

Phillip doesn’t look up from his toes. He’s back to being the weird loner kid, the guy with no real friends, the one the jackasses call fag behind his back.

A knot builds in Lukas’ throat. Time to get the hell away from here. “Hey, I gotta talk to my teachers about makeup assignments. See you guys later?”

Simone frowns, but steps aside to let him pass. Before he makes his escape, he manages to turn slightly and catch Phillip’s attention. “See you in third period.”

Phillip’s smile barely lifts the corners of his lips, but his eyes are grateful, and it’s something.

Baby steps.

The accomplishment—saying a relatively normal sentence to Phillip in front of curious friends—keeps him sane until the middle of first period. But Mrs. Decker’s droning voice somehow manages to sap his tiny flicker of confidence. She’s going on and on about the people and their responsibility in government. Action instead of talk, she says, and he’s so pathetic he’s actually drawing connections to his life.

Can he even consider his morning with Phillip an accomplishment? Sure, they rode to school together. People saw them. He said a few words to Phillip in public.

A few fucking words.

It’s nothing, really. He said more to Simone and she’s starting to annoy the hell out of him. How can Phillip be okay with taking his crumbs?

A tickle starts in the back of his throat again. He swallows hard to get rid of it.

If he’s stressing at having to sit in class and listen to stuff that seems both completely pointless in light of people getting shot at and murdered…and also weirdly relevant… how must Phillip be doing? Phillip’s still clearly hurting from his loss, he doesn’t know where he stands with Lukas, he’s shy and withdrawn around other kids at school, and he’ll have to wait two more periods to see if Lukas can summon the balls for a repeat performance of a one-sentence gift.

Fuck. Swallowing isn’t helping anymore. His chest is starting to ache.

He’s supposed to be paying attention. He’ll have to write an essay for Mrs. Decker to make up for his days of missed class. He’s supposed to keep his grades decent, clean up his image, and get himself a new sponsor. He’s supposed to be figuring out how to be a real person again. With Phillip. Somehow.

Hell, there’s twenty more minutes. Twenty more minutes of torture where he has to sit here and be still and keep tumbling over all the supposed-tos while also worrying if Phillip is okay, if he’s struggling to breathe, too…

He yanks out his phone under the desk and texts Phillip. Meet me on the roof. Now.

What? His phone buzzes back. I’m in class.

It’s important. He stumbles to his feet after his last text, making all twenty-three students and the teacher stare up at him. “Gotta use the bathroom,” he announces, and he must really still have some of those pity points because Mrs. Decker actually lets him go without a word.

By the time he bursts out the heavy metal door and into the crisp air, dread is starting to press at his lungs. God, not this again. He squats down and leans over, sinking his head to his knees.

He’s not going to flip out this time. No way in hell. He knows how to breathe. What was that thing Helen had done? In and out, in and out. You’ve got this.

“Lukas?” Phillip’s arm lands on his back. “Are you okay? Are you having another panic attack?”

His chest opens at Phillip’s touch, and air rushes in. Thank God.

He slowly stands back up, blinking away the last traces of dizziness. “Will you quit saying that? I don’t have panic attacks.”

Phillip frowns. “Well you look really pale.”

“That’s my natural color.”

No one could argue with that, really.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Phillip presses. He’s drawing closer. Close enough to kiss.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lukas manages a tight laugh, and he reaches out to squeeze Phillip’s shoulder.

“Then what was so important that I had to rush up here in the middle of class?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Lukas answers, and it’s not quite a lie. “Your first day back at school and everything.”

Phillip shrugs. “Okay. Sure. It kinda sucks, but whatever. So how come you were all hunched over when I got up here, and it didn’t even seem like you heard me the first time I called y—”

“Jesus Christ, Phillip, let it go!” If Phillip doesn’t stop worrying about him, he’s going to scream. He needs to worry about Phillip right now. “I told you I’m fine. I just got antsy, having to sit in class and pretend like everything’s normal. Like we didn’t survive a serial killer kidnapping us and shooting me and …and doing what he did. So I wigged out a little, so what. It’s probably just ‘cause it’s my first day back around lots of people without the meds.”

Both Phillip’s brows shoot up. “Meds? What meds?”

Oh, hell. He hadn’t meant to go opening that can of worms.

“From the hospital. From when I got shot, remember? They gave me a prescription to take for the pain.”

Phillip’s look softens, and he gently rubs at the wound from above Lukas’ shirt. “Shit, yeah. Does it still hurt?”

Leaning into Phillip’s touch makes everything feel better. “Yeah, a little.”

“Then where’s the medicine now?” Phillip keeps stroking the spot.

Lukas breathes deeply and closes his eyes to soak it all in. “My dad took them.”

“How come?”

“He was worried I was taking too many.”

The gentle massage stops short, and Lukas’ eyes fly open. Maybe there is such a thing as too much truth.

Phillip’s jaw is clenched. That’s a bad sign. “And were you?”

“Was I what?” God, he’ll never lose that dumb defense mechanism, will he?

It only makes Phillip’s expression grow fiercer. “Were you taking too many pills.”

“I mean, not that many…

Phillip storms a few steps away, thrusting his hands into his hair. “What the hell, Lukas? What the hell is wrong with you? You seriously think after everything I went through with my mom that I’m gonna stick around with someone else who wants to—“

“No, no.” He chases after Phillip and blocks him off from the door. “No, I’m not. I’m not doing that, I swear. I was a little messed up after everything and maybe I did use a few more than I was supposed to, but it’s been days now and I haven’t taken a single more pill. Even though my shoulder hurts. I’m just gonna take the pain, okay? I won’t… I won’t use any more. I promise.”

Phillip’s not having it. He shakes his head and withdraws again, folding his arms. “It’s not just that.”

“What is it then? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.” The words tumble out too fast. Mrs. Decker would call it all talk. He’s still falling short on the action.

“You turn to everything else before me.”

What? “I’m here with you right now. What are you talking about?”

“I mean, you were upset, and instead of coming to me, you decided to abuse pain medication, beat up some kid…you even talked to Helen before you told me what was going on.”

Oh.

“Why do you always choose me last?” Phillip’s voice is hoarse, struggling past emotion.

Lukas chews on his lip, buying himself time to come up with the right answer. There’s not much action he can take on a rooftop. All he can do is explain himself, and he’s never been too great at that. “Don’t you get it? I was supposed to be there for you, Phillip. You lost your mom, and I don’t remember all of how that feels but I remember enough to know it fucking sucks. I was supposed to be the strong one, and instead I was just a pathetic mess. I fucked everything up and I blamed myself and…and you deserved better.”

Phillip’s jaw finally unclenches. “You…you don’t have to be the strong one,” he says quietly.

Lukas arches a brow. “So, what, you’re gonna be the strong one?”

Phillip snorts, and his mouth actually quirks up in a half-grin. “Maybe neither of us is ‘the strong one.’ But maybe we can be stronger…together.”

Lukas blinks a few times. “That is the corniest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

They both burst into relieved laughter, drawing them back toward each other. Lukas reaches out and unfolds Phillip’s arms so he can hold him close, tuck his head in against Phillip’s neck and just rest there, secure in their embrace.

Maybe he can’t make it six hours without touching Phillip. At least there are ways to get the fix he needs.

The door to the roof swings open suddenly and they jump apart. Keith Horner, resident pothead, scratches his ass as he walks out to join them.

“Hey, dudes. Just gonna smoke some. You wanna?” He holds out a joint.

“Um, nah, we gotta get back to class,” Lukas says, fighting to keep a straight face as Phillip is giggling across from him.

“Yeah, man, cool.” Keith lights up, already ignoring them, and Lukas and Phillip scramble away.

They clamber down the steps, but before they reach the hallway, Lukas grabs Phillip’s shirt and yanks him into a kiss. He doesn’t let go, instead backing Phillip into the corner of the stairwell and making it clear this isn’t just some little smooch. This is enough of a fucking kiss—legs entwined, lips smashed together, tongues tangling—that they’re both going to need a minute to cool down before they can be seen in public again.

“Come to my place after school?” Lukas whispers in Phillip’s ear, and maybe not-so-accidentally bucks up against his crotch.

“What about your dad?” Phillip is breathless and glassy-eyed.

“Shouldn’t be home for hours.”

His cocky grin spreads to Phillip, and it’s all the help he needs to make it through this day. Heart to heart talks are important and all…but it’s about fucking time they got in another way to let off some steam.

#philkas #phillip x lukas #eyewitness fanfiction #why am i still spending my life writing this #i guess it's for the 2 readers you guys rock #:)#when all is said and done

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seven-oomen · 4 years

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The hug and the headcanons were much appreciated. :D (You say it started getting long like that’s a bad thing. But then I am apparently the embodiment of that comment like you’re the drunk girl in the bathroom at the club post, so perhaps I am not the best judge.) And I don’t know if you were trying to kill me with that new preview, or make me want to kill Chris, but either way, mission accomplished. I swear, that boy. He’s gonna give me gray hairs before this is over. XD *basks in the warm, fluffy goodness anyway*

Omg, Craft Dad Peter may be one of the best things I’ve ever heard of. Chris and Noah never have to buy another scarf or pair of gloves, Peter makes them for them (and often for the rest of the pack, too, but his mates get the best) as a way of subtly staking claim. Bonus points if he finds a way to spin his fur into the yarn (or finds someone to do it for him.) And it’s all kinds of crafts, too, from a huge painting he does with Allison of the view of the Preserve from Makeout Lookout Point that goes above the mantle at the new house, to macaroni art and finger painting with his youngest kids.

Also, I feel like one year, maybe after most have gone off to college and sneaking is a bit easier, Malia badgers her siblings and other dads into finding whatever old baby/toddler clothes they might still have and helping her make them into a patchwork quilt for Peter since he had to miss so much (if not all) of that time with them. Chris and Noah also throw in a couple of their shirts from high school; faded flannel and ratty band gear intermixing with brightly colored superhero logos an well worn sports jerseys, corduroy, and denim and a little bit of lace, in all colors of the rainbow from jewel tones to pastels. She even leaves some room to add stuff from the later kids, because she knows they’re going to want more.

Needless to say, there are a lot of tears (like, a LOT), and it instantly becomes his favorite for curling up in front of the TV, or out on the porch to watch the sunset, or just wherever, in whatever form. It goes over so well they end up making another one with stuff donated from everyone in the pack so that it ends up huge and always comes out for movie nights and puppy piles. (Wow, that idea kinda got away from me, but I ain’t even mad.)

Loving the descent into nsfw and related ideas. Always here for those three teasing the ever-loving shit out of each other, because that’s just the way they are. I feel like Chris and Noah are much more successful at pulling stunts in public, because they’re much better at faking innocence and making it seem accidental. Lbr, Peter is terrible at looking innocent, even when he is.

They both get so low-key annoyed that Peter’s werewolf healing means they can’t really leave much in the way of lasting marks, whereas Chris ends up with bruises and stubble burn in the most inconvenient and awkward places, and Noah seems forever doomed to look like he got attacked by an extremely aggressive push broom from the neck down.

Oh god, Peter and Chris would totally rig anything that needed repair around the house so that it would only finally break when Noah was off so they could see him up a ladder changing light bulbs in a snug, worn t-shirt, or reaching underneath a sink or cabinet. They just lean back and enjoy the show with a nice chilled drink. He gets them back by conveniently being on shift whenever one of the kids moves back for a while and needs furniture moved.

All the Omegas in the pack get extensive training in proper self defense, which leads to Peter getting banned from the premises because his expressions and scent while watching Noah and Chris spar to demonstrate creeps everyone else right tf out.

I feel like Chris probably does a lot of the cooking, between having lived on his own the most and debatably being home the most. So sometimes when they have the house to themselves Peter and Noah try to get Chris to cook wearing only an apron (frilly or not is up to you). (Actually, depending on what share of the chores he takes on my brain just screamed out of nowhere FRENCH MAID’S OUTFIT and now I can’t stop laughing, oh god, I just keep picturing these terrible porny roleplays where the police officer is just checking in because there have been reports of break-ins and he “just wants to make sure all entrances and exits are properly secured” and of course the maid just wants to be helpful and fetches the master of the house[is he wearing a smoking jacket and silk pajamas?

I think the answer is obviously yes] to assist their “routine search" [oh god, please help, I’m wheezing.]) I’m pretty sure somebody gets fucked on the washing machine (and by somebody I obviously mean both of them. They go through a LOT of cleaner in that house, lbh.)

And poor Stiles just will NOT let the Incident, as he calls it, go. Whenever he’s irritated with one of them he’ll send them some variation of the "right in front of my salad” meme to be an asshole.

They very definitely make sure that all the bedrooms have nicely soundproofed walls, because there are things none of the kids want to hear (except maybe Erica or Lydia). Totally here for pet names/sweet nothings/dirty talk/whatev in a variety of languages, especially French and Polish, obvs. (cue Gomez mode - “Why Chris, that’s French…”)

And I do love that drag queen headcanon so much, especially for this ‘verse. The Stiles and Jax better be careful or their dads might just be forced to prove how much they can still rock that look if they want to (I may or may not have had a running list/idea in my head of which outfit from a Lady Gaga video each parent would wear if they were all dressing to theme for some reason [I don’t really remember why. You might have noticed my mind goes off on weird, unexplained tangents when left unattended.])

Love all the family bonding stuff. I feel like Peter would totally organize back-to-school shopping trips for all the pack kids so that they can all head back with all their necessary supplies and rockin’ new wardrobes. Chris teaches them camping and outdoor survival. Noah somehow ends up organizing sing-a-longs when they have bonfires while Chris is in charge of s'mores ingredients (neither tries to make Peter or Derek join in if they aren’t feeling it, and take turns to go and check in with cuddles and support throughout the evening.)

I always liked to headcanon that Noah was a drummer, mainly I think because Dylan is, so people usually made Stiles one, so I figured he might have learned from his dad. This was also because I loved the idea of Stiles having everybody over for a Rock Band party and having his dad sub in for him on the drums so he could grab some food, and everyone being utterly astounded at how well he could play (since the drums seem the closest controller to the actual instrument.)

But the idea of him and Malia playing duets together is super adorable, particularly the idea of them playing Polish lullabies for the twins (or Ben, or other Argent-Hale child), or Chris singing French ones for the little ones (or the dads could team up Three Men and a Baby style, I’m here for all of it, really.)

And all the wolfy goodness! Wolf Peter just straight up flopping across one or both of his mates while they try to read or watch TV because he needs attention right now and wants to cuddle. Chris scratching all the right places. Noah using a variant of the healing magic to loosen all of Peter’s tensed muscles as he pets along his back and sides. Good stuff. (Occasionally Ben or one of the younger wolves, if there are any, will shift and climb up next to them to nuzzle at his face or gnaw on his tail. Usually by then he’s so relaxed he doesn’t even mind.) Using him as a bonus cushion when curling up together. World’s Biggest Teddy Bear.

And Jackson would totally take advantage of his cuteness. He got Peter’s ruthlessness and Chris’s puppy-eyes skills. The younger kids keep finding ways to work him into their Halloween costumes because he can somehow convince people to give them more candy even though “dogs can’t have chocolate…" He doesn’t mind helping his baby siblings, and enjoys the chance to prove just how good he is.

Malia is totally the one who’d just nope out of the conversation, but I think she’d also be the one to (most) help Ben develop his shifted skills and really feel comfortable in both forms.

Poor Derek, he’s just like "I am not a goddamn herding dog, corral your kids!”, but he’s not fooling anybody and loves the way the twins just stare at him mesmerized and gently petting at his soft fluffy fur. He absolutely lets them climb on him and ride around until they get too big to do it (then they just hang off his arms or piggy back whenever he visits.)

And that last flash-forward headcanon is so cute. I feel like the spot should be on a porch swing, but given how much time I spent on my grandparents’, I’m probably a bit biased . There’s a wind chime made of broken guitar strings and spare car parts (with a base carved by Stiles) that hangs nearby, ringing gently in the breeze as they sway. They curl up under one of Peter and Malia’s quilts, legs tangled together, backs pressed up against pillows set up against the arms for support. Peter sits on the steps, leaning on the banister, or maybe gently sprawled in a nearby matching chair, enjoying the view of his family and the quiet peacefulness of the moment. *insert reaction shot of Ghost Rider going “yessss- YESSSSS-” here*

Anyway, I’m glad your day was stupidity free, and I hope your cat is feeling calmer and well comforted. And hopefully the weather cleared up there like it did here, though also hopefully without leaving as much humidity behind as we got. Ah well, pretty much standard for summer around here, so.

Oh man I definitely got carried away a bit and no, there’s nothing wrong with that but I also idk, I’m not used to talking about something I love I guess. Especially not so freely with someone who’s really genuinely interested in hearing it.

Also idk what it is, probably fatigue and dyslexia in my add brain, but I have enormous trouble concentrating right now. So, I decided I would answer this submission before bed instead of writing. Well technically I’m writing now too, there’s that. Anyway...

Where was I? I feel like I just had an entire conversation in my brain and it’s already gone.

Okay, okay, Imma try to do this.

Chris is just, he’s a very scarred boy who’s very insecure. Noah will help him though and I hope it feels in character but fluff is coming.

And I really don’t have the focus to answer all of these headcanons but I love them, they made smile and giggle and they got me through hell today and I just. I really wish I had the brain capacity today to answer all of them.. Because yes to everything!

Do you know how hard it is to ask someone about their wifi connections when you’re reading about French Maid outfits and bad cop outfits and body cavity searches??? Do YOU???

It’s very hard and I had to try so hard not to laugh while guiding one lady through her ‘my remote is not working’ emergency.

And the quilt thing killed me, YEEEESSS. Omg I love your headcanons so much.

I also can’t stop picturing Peter as Gomez and Chris & Noah as Morticia. Also, Jackson is Wednesday and Stiles is Pugsley. I don’t make the rules.

Ughhh omg Idea for a pack run where they all go camping in the woods and Peter initiates a pack run, the first for Ben and Jackson. And they’re all wolfing out and Peter, with his red eyes, just howls up and everyone just howls with him. But Ben can’t keep up and just start hiccuping (This is what I imagine Ben would look like anyway and it’s the cutest thing) and cuddles up to Chris because it’s all a bit much.

So Peter comes over and gently nuzzles the cub until Ben’s wagging his tail again and being all playful. And that initiates a pack play session where Ben ‘takes down’ Peter and the other wolves just nip and bark around them playfully while Chris, Noah, Allison, and Stiles watch them with their cameras out and smiles on their faces.

The pack then takes off for a run and return ten minutes later all tuckered out, Ben’s held up by the scruff of his neck by Peter. Jackson is practically asleep on his paws and Malia is yawning by the time they get back. So they curl up with their respective twins and mates. Malia is curled around Stiles and Allison protectively curls around Jackson’s huge wolf form. Ben’s curled up in Chris’s lap, Chris and Noah are huddled together and Peter’s just curled around the three of them. Derek curls up with both sets of twins to keep them safe.

Full moons are extremely lively for this family.

And Derek is such a sucker for the pups in the pack. He keeps complaining and bitching, but honestly, he loves kids, he loves babies and he’s such a sucker for them. Ben, the twins, and the new baby just can do no wrong for him. He’ll keep corralling them and cuddling them when he gets the chance.

God, I love these threads so much, but I think I already said that. lol

Anyway, that’s what my brain has right now, but honestly, I love all of these. Every single one is precious.

#ben says stuff #once upon a time comments #I want to react and love all of these indiviually but my brain won't let me #i love them though #i really do #submission

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