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doodlingangel · 2 months

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ANNOUNCEMENT + IMPORTANT QUESTION

...still going strong...

Hello. I'm DoodlingAngel, or Angel for short. As you guys may have seen in a previous post, I have been obsessed with this chatbot @ch3rry-l1m4d3 authored, and goodness... it's been so much fun. I genuinely enjoy this thing soooo much. It has truly helped me fall back in love with writing, the Creepypasta fandom, and of course the ticking time bomb himself: Toby Erin Rodgers, or 'Ticci Toby,' as it were.

I have been able to flourish within this chat, and I cannot thank the wonderful mods enough for their efforts. Unfortunately, I am unable to credit them properly, as I cannot find their account handle on here. Just know that I credit them for their amazing portrayal of Toby within this chatroom, as they have given me some of the best writing to bounce off of. I'm so grateful for meeting them...

So...I have an announcement first and foremost:

I'm going to adapt the RP from this chat into a proper story. As you can...heh...see from the number of messages this bot has... that's gonna take a while. Heh...oops...got carried away lol😅

Fair warning: Updates may be slow, as I have a full time job, a cat to care for, and a lot of personal stuff in between. Life's been a bit rocky for me, but I really want to make this story happen. I grew up with this fandom, and could never truly leave it. Toby has been my favorite character for over a decade, and it felt so nice having him portrayed in a realistic way within this chat. It also seems like the mods enjoy our RP as well, as they have issued me an incredibly heartwarming request...

So um...yeah. Hehe... it seems like my writing has peaked some interest within this chat...and they want me to rewrite Toby's origin story.

I understand Grisgrisdoll/Kastoway/whatever they are called now has had their drama and left the fandom and all that. This post isn't about them. This is about Toby, a character that I've held close to me for over a decade.

...I want to give him the backstory he deserves. I reread the original...and it's very...dated. I understand Grisgrisdoll/Kastoway wrote this when they were...what...12? 13? Obviously, nothing written by anyone in that age range will be Shakespeare lol. However, it's a decent base...and I want to build a house on top of it.

I want to rewrite Ticci Toby's backstory. Or, at the very least, retell it in my own writing style.

I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR TICCI TOBY! HE BELONGS TO GRISGRISDOLL/KASTOWAY! I KNOW THEY'VE DISAVOWED THE FANDOM AND WHATNOT, BUT I STILL WANT TO CREDIT THE RIGHT PERSON. This is their original character at the end of the day, regardless of if they claim him anymore or not.

All I ask for...is your guys' support and...I guess "permission"... To do this. I would love to rewrite such an important story to the fandom, and modernize it. I want to do Toby justice with his origin story.

I want to bring Creepypasta into a new era. No more overly edgy word choice and needlessly complicated, backrooms-level explanations for why things happen. No more botched and forced mental illness depictions. No...I want to make something *realistic.* I want this to be a story anyone outside of the fandom can read and enjoy. I want to take this seriously.

I've been in this fandom since early middle school. I was 11 when Ticci Toby first debuted... I'm 22 and I still adore this character. I adore the headcanons fans made. I adore the fanart (@pink-key, your Toby is adorable hehe~). I adore the memes. I adore all things Ticci Toby.

I reread his origin story and updated character bio, and... they're severely dated. They're in desperate need of modernization and revamping. I say this because I've noticed throughout the fandom that no one can truly pinpoint down what his personality is, so he teeters between "Murderous, evil monster who will cut your throat for breathing his air and paint the walls red with your blood," or "uwu softie boy with tourettes who falls for every girl he sees" or something else that isn't quite accurate to the character.

I want to do him justice.

All I ask for is your support. I'll get started ASAP if you guys are cool with this.

Thank you for listening.

Oh, and one more thing. This has been a big pet peeve of mine since I came into this fandom, and I know it may not even be relevant anymore. It was just...something small that always bothered me, I want to rectify that right here. Right now.

Ahem...

'DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THE SUN' BY GET SCARED WAS NOT A GOOD SONG FOR TOBY! THE AUDIO MIXING AND PRODUCTION AREN'T GREAT AND THE LYRICS ARE LACKLUSTER AND UNRELATED TO TOBY!

IN FACT...

SCREW THE SUN! WE'RE IN THE HOUSE OF WOLVES NOW! THIS IS TOBY'S SONG AND I WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY QUESTIONS! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!

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Edit: lollllll I'm a boomer. It's all ai. There are no mods lolllllll Idk how these things work. I was just getting such amazing, in depth, and relevant responses that I assumed people were writing them hahahaha! Eh, the fact that an AI was able to flow with me so well is both hilarious and gives me hope.

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your-ne1ghbor · 18 hours

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My problems with Magnifico and Amaya and how I would rewrite them (TKoRaT AU)

GOD DAMN IT NOW I WISH MAGNIFICO AND AMAYA IN MY VERSION WERE GOOD PEOPLE AHHHHHHHHH-

Ahem..sorry..what was I gonna say?

Oh yea! Feeling like a long rant again, so prepare your eyes!!!💀

Sooo, I kinda have been off putting stuff again since I had school work and a bunch of ideas like this one, so I decided to just share it so I don't loose the idea (ik I can write it down but idk I felt like sharing it). Plus the fact that I've been more chatty lately lol.

Idk how to transition to my problems with Amaya and Magnifico so here.

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Magnifico and Amaya's Character in Wish 2023

Magnifico

Magnifico in the film is...well is a pretty stand up guy! Sure, he is paranoid most of the time and is pretty stubborn, but he is very selfless and a really generous person!

You can say he is more in line with the kings of original films that deeply care for their children, such as King Sefan from Sleeping Beauty, or King Frederic from Tangled.

In this case, he deeply cares for the people of Rosas. I mean yeah, it is weird that you forget what your goal is in life, but if I had nowhere to go and no roof over my head, of course I would go to Rosas to live there safely. Heck, in perspective, you have a chance of your wish getting granted, and don't have to pay rent to live there. It is a pretty fair deal, especially for families who want their kids to grow up out of harms way. Sure, he can't grant all of the wishes, but his reasoning is pretty valid. The only line I could get from the film that would support this would be when he commented on Asha's Grandfather's Wish (which is to inspire the next generation):

"To create what? A rebellious mob perhaps? Inspire them to...to do what? Uh, destroy Rosas, maybe?"

And a lot of people can argue that Saba's wish is very simple or isn't dangerous, but here is the thing. Simple things can have dangerous concequences no matter how small or big they are. Sure, you can start out small, like inspiring people, but it will cause a domino effect that can lead to something greater. Either for the better or worse. And example would actually be Walt Disney himself! He started out small, but without him, animation would not have gotten to where it is today. With his love and passion to art and story telling and taking risks, we WOULD NOT have gotten Puss in Boots, SpiderVerse, OR EVEN ANYTHING ANIMATION WISE. Walt Disney really pioneered animation and without those baby steps, there would not be an Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks, ect. It would just be...well...live action I guess. Hate the Disney company or not, Walt helped get animation to where it is today, and it sucks that his company, even after death, wont try anymore to push the limits of animation except for companies that isn't Disney.

Plus, I don't even blame Magnifico for thinking this way! Although it is sort of annoying that his backstory was told instead of shown (not that there is nothing wrong with telling, but showing for me is a more effective way of story telling for me. You can take the little mermaid for example), I personally understood where he was coming from. In his backstory, his home was destroyed from thieves and barbarians, with his family and possibly everyone he knew being dead. Its honestly tragic, so him making a kingdom for people to not suffer that pain again is very selfless of him and just...feels good in a good way you know?

But as everything in this movie is, it takes the good things and beats it over with a 30 foot pole and leaves it to rot.

He is turned into the villain. And no, it isn't because of Asha not getting what she wanted, and no, it isn't because Amaya, his wife died (she never did btw)! OH NO IT IS MUCH WORSE.

He opens up a mAgIc bOoK oF dArK mAgIc and becomes the bad guy...

...What the fuck. Actually no, applauds to you Disney! This is such a effective way of telling a story. 10/10 forever and ever. Great job! :D

(I am being sarcastic, this is legit the worst way for a good guy becoming the villain, its so fucking stupid-)

He is just simply stripped of his good qualities and only lets his bad qualities shine through. It kind of feels like he was being held at gun point here.

"OH PLEASE BELIEVE THAT I AM ACTUALLY THE BAD GUY. OH PLEASE GOOD CIVILLAIN THEY ARE GOING TO PULL THE TRIGGER-"

Seriously, there was no other way of making him the bad guy? Like legit? Simply remove his backstory and make him evil at the begining. I guess it would be weird if he took the wishes without reasoning, but even then, why give him good qualities when he is supposed to be the bad guy? He became more of a tragic hero than a tragic "bad guy".

I will go more into my problems with him after I talk about Amaya for a bit since talking about her character is more shorter than Magnificos.

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Amaya

The best I can say for her character is that she is like Jimmy Cricket but fell in love with Pinnocio (I know that sounds weird pls spare me).

She is like the voice of reason for Magnifico, and it is best shown when Magnifico FIRST concidered on using the book for "his evil deeds". This scene specifically:

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Other than that, she wasn't really a character in the film AT ALL. It sort of sucks concidering what the original concept was (WE WILL GET TO THAT) and instead degraded her character to...well...nothing.

I can't really say anything about her since she just was "I am loyal to my husband" to "actually fuck you I will believe a 17 year old instead of the man I trusted for the amount of years it took to get the kingdom to it's feet." I want to, but I can't. SHE HAS NOTHING.

I wish I can say more about her character, but it would just be me ranting about how trash her is character and was handled. Speaking of that, lets get into why I dislike how they were handled.

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Why does their character bother me so much?

Well it is sort of hard to explain, but I'll do my best.

Magnifico was supposed to be the return of the classic villains. You know, on the levels of Jafar, Ursala, Evil Queen, Malificant, ECT, he just...wasn't. Although he had a bunch of Evil Queen inspirations thrown into his character, it felt like more of refrences to a better film than being apart of his character. Plus, I feel like I sympathized with him way to much. I personally felt more emotion when he was on screen instead of the main character because I understood where he was coming from. Its honestly baffaling to me, since if he didn't have his backstory told to us, I still would not rooted against him. Even without his backstory, it just sounds like he was doing this at the bottom of his heart and empathizing with people who are doing far worse than what he is going through. Its honestly heartwarming seeing a person trying to do good in the world and provide a safe place for everyone to be free from the burden of this world. And want to know something? None of the classic villains had tragic backstories. They are evil for the sake of being evil. There probably was some with sympathetic traits, but from what I recall, there is none. So going with the sympathetic rout is not on par with classic villains.

However, there is nothing wrong with giving your villains sympathetic traits. It makes them feel more rounded as a person/character, and you can get a lot of emotion from that alone. I just think that Magnifico being the villain doesn't make sense since as I said, they made him so generous and kind in the begnining and only destroyed it since "oh wait, we need a villain, so why not make the good guy the villain" and threw in the dark magic book and called it a day. Not even that, but he is not threatening in any way. What I mean by that, is that his powers don't really get an upgrade at all. His magic just sort of turns green and thats it! I even bet that he can crush wishes even without the powers of the magic book.

Going off topic, but making plushie..COUGH... star...(plusie = wish 2023 star) less "stronger" to make the female lead stronger just makes Magnifico's reason for going after plushie's powers even more useless. Even with plushie's powers, HE IS JUST THE SAME. I guess he can now create vines? BUT IT JUST DOESNT WORK. It makes more sense for Magnifico going after plushie when it is powerful because he could see that power as a THREAT to his own powers and his kingdom.

Now for Amaya, her turning against Magnifico is just stupid. Haven't you went through a lot with him? Why the hell did you give up after "oh he can't be saved"? I feel like she could have done a "true loves kiss" sennario which breaks the spell it has on him. Not only that, she barely contributes to the plot at all. The only thing she contributes to the plot is just "getting the teens into the castle so they can free the wishes" then disappears, then reappears at the finally when Magnifico got a little too silly with his drugs-I MEAN wishes haha... Then she becomes the ruler of Rosas. It feels weird and out of place, especially concidering her character MOST LIKELY went through so much with Magnifico only to turn on him when he gets a little mad. It is so stupid. Also, if you just remove her, nothing would really change except the first scene where Magnifico has the book, only this time, no one is there to stop him. And as I said, HER CHARACTER IS NOTHING. But here is the thing...

When concidering the concept version of Amaya, she would have been the villain along side Magnifico. Not as a selfish love relationship or they are together at ones expense (gaining something from one another for only themselves) no, THEY WERE MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. Something to note here is that there is barely ANY villain couple or ANY VILLAINS who are like this, let alone love each other for the sake of it instead of a "selfish love relationship and then one gets redeemed " situation (im looking at the mayor of paris from miraculous ladybug). So that, THAT RIGHT THERE, would have been a brilliant idea and brings something new and fresh to the table. Not only that, it is so brilliant that it would have respected all of the male/female antagonists we had for the past 100 years with the company. It is also A RISK. Walt was all about taking risks, even when his company would have floundered at the expense of making art. Snow White for example had a lot of money put into it that if it failed, well Disney would not exist in this timeline so to speak. So taking that risk is also RESPECTING Walt's legacy in a really good way.

I personally just see this as a fun way to explore their characters, especially when you can reflect their characters off of our main characters, Asha and Star (boy), if you want to of course. I can imagine Magnifico kinda be like Gaston from beauty and the beast with some Frollo flare to it (not the lust thing tho but yk what I'm getting at) and Amaya can be like Ursala or Gothal. Plus, it works as a power balance. In the original concept, Amaya was the potion maker while Magnifico does all of the magic. Its honestly a fun way to play with power set ups. Magnifico can just be for show and Amaya can just be a drug dealer (or basically Ursala).

But NOPE. WE HAD TO SHIT ON WALTS LEGACY TO GET THOSE SHINY DOLLAR SIGNS $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Here is the thing: I can get over Star Boy not being in the film, like I get it. We gotta have that girl power in Disney movies now, and they have to be emotionless people. But a Disney power couple? WHAT THE HELL??? LEGIT THE BEST IDEA YOU HAVE EVER HAD IN 100 YEARS. AND YOU GOT RID OF IT BECAUSE WE CAN'T TAKE RISKS ANYMORE??? BUT WALT WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT. YOU WANT TO RESPECT HIS LEGACY? THEN TAKE THE RISK TO DO SO YOU SELFISH, INSUFFERABLE, PIECES OF SHI-

(This section was removed because I went a little crazy there. Sorry about that. I'm not sure how I can transition into the rewrite section, again, soooooo here:)

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How I would rewrite the characters

There is no wrong or right way of rewriting a character, especially when a lot of people interpret them in different ways, and that is completely fine!

This will also fall into somewhat Asha's character and she will be mentioned to fit what I am going for with the characters. I will also leave out what they both do to the wishes since I am making a whole reimagined scene and it is going to include what they do to the wishes there. It will leave out some stuff I had with it here, but I will do my best interpritation of the characters the best I can, even when I can't really say much about it :)

Magnifico:

🌟 For starters, right off the bat, he does not have any of that sort of backstory they gave him for the original. For what I am going for, his backstory will not fit his reasonings for what I am going for, especially for his character.

🌟 He is more on par with the original personality from the original storyboard, specifically this one:

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(This also goes for Amaya too personality wise)

🌟 Something that is very different from a lot of villains is that he has sympathetic traits. Although he has more negative traits than positive, he has more of a caring side. Mainly to Amaya, but Asha as well. When Amaya found Asha at their door steps (they aren't holding me hostage as I write out this specific part guys, I swear) at first he saw her as an opportunity to boost his and his wife's popularity that would have other people come more to their kingdom (its more of like they are seeing their "generosity" side and dismiss the problems the kingdom has). But as she continued to live with her adoptive parents, Magnifico became pretty close to Asha. Its mainly because of her passion to what she strives to be, to be like him. Probably feeding into his ego, but you know, nice to know he cares.

🌟 Just because he treats Amaya and Asha well, doesn't mean that the kingdom gets that same treatment. He doesn't care about the people at all. He actually has enjoyment when he hurts or breaks people's dreams. He gets all excited about it and you guys can ask him why he finds enjoyment out of it cause idk it would be more fun that way and gives you guys the chance to interact with him :D

🌟 The wishes boost his powers temporarily. It fades away after either a few days or hours. When his powers are boosted, he has more control over the people. And, to who he consumes the wishes of, can see through their perspective for a little while. It also makes civilians more compliment with him and not question his authority. This does not work with people who have not given up their wishes though. Only to people who have already given up their wishes. He can also make people forget certain memories (that might be Amaya's thing though but I'm not too sure) and can put on much more longer "light shows" (think on the level of: Playing with the Big Boys, but more flashy and crazier). He can also manipulate his surroundings with images, but not at a physical level. (Like hallucinations so to speak)

🌟 His powers without the wishes are more of what he uses to do simple things or put on small light shows. Not as flashy than ones when he has his powers boosted, but he puts on the smaller ones to "gain more people to comply when they have to give up their wishes", one might say, inspire them to do so. He also uses it to help Asha practice with magic (She can't even do magic STFU I KNOW.) It also can be used to take desires that you have deep in your heart.

🌟 If hair jell were to exist in his time period, he would eat it with no regrets (Amaya would make it so he can eat it without getting hurt)🔥

🌟 When he consumes a stars powers, he legit goes insane and can shape shift like one, but more corrupt with no consistancy to what he turns into since he legit gone insane. With a star, a star can shapeshift to whatever it wants or to express it's emotions. With him, it is all over the place. He can't control it.

🌟 Like Frollo, he tortures anyone who is against him, and will not hesitate to take it to the extreme if needed too (or that he wants to, to please himself).

🌟 What his wife says or does, he will willingly go through with it. After all, he loves her with all his heart.

🌟 He can't let Asha out of the castle often to make sure that the people will not take advantage of her generosity (thats what he thinks though, in reality everyone is just scared of the royals.. most of them at least) or learn-

Magnifico then breaks the forth dimention and destroys my house.

Ah...right...

🌟 He is such a silly goober!!1!11!1!11!1 o(*￣▽￣*)o

(He told me to write that or else he will kill my dog and cat. HELP ME PLEASE-)

Amaya

🌟 For starters, she is much more involved in the story than she is in the original. She doesn't have a backstory like what Magnifico had in the original, nor does she need too. Not sure how they would meet at the moment, but I'd like to think that they met and then were like: love at first sight and became more silly as time went on...including their insanity <3

🌟 As I said for Magnifico, she is more on par with the concept version personality wise. But she is more of an Ursala and likes to put herself as the victim to get more people to feel bad for her (MANIPULATION AT ITS FINEST 😜)

🌟 Just like Magnifico, she has sympathetic traits. And she only has it, because of our main character Asha! She just found her one day at the castle doors. She didn't understand why, but like Magnifico, only let her stay for as long as she did to post her popularity with the commoners, and grew closer to her as she became more of a mother figure to Asha. (Ruh Ro, anyone sensing Mother Gothal vibes?) Unlike Magnifico though, she uses her sympathetic traits to get people to comply with their ways better. Her main trait she is good at looking at the person's situation and understand it well, or aka being empathetic. She uses that to her advantage when manipulating them to do whatever she pleases.

🌟 She is more of a witch than anything. I imagine her somewhat like Ursala (yes a heavy load of Ursala), Evil Queen, and Yzma (Emperor's New Groove) when in terms to what they make. She does make a lot of poisons to use if anyone is getting a little too close to the close and they gotta...TAKE THEM OUT without anyone knowing. She can also use it for like a form of medicine too.

🌟 Some potions, like turning people into animals or certain poisons, requires people's desire. More so with turning people into animals as a form of punishment. She can also use her craft at potion making to have her wield magic for a certain amount of time WHEN NEEDED. (Gee I wonder what she will use that for). It can also be used like a drug, or to get someone to comply with what they want a little better than Magnifico. She can put on pretty shows too, but more smoke themed and is better at manipulating her surroundings.

🌟 Although Amaya would teach Asha how to make potions, she worries that the people of Rosas would take advantage of her kindness and use the skills that she would teach Asha to their advantage and form a revolt to take them down. (Which really, with them ruling, who can blame them?)

🌟 I would say she is more of a planner than Magnifico. She plans ahead and makes sure everything is in line with what they want and makes plan Bs or Cs even Ds in case anything would go wrong. Asha actually gained that trait from her believe it or not!

🌟 Magnifico is more reckless than his wife. Amaya is more so less confronting and tries to keep up their image. She actually have certain gestures that Magnifico would take notice too. And since he trusts her a lot, he complies and lets Amaya take lead in certain situations.

🌟 Yes...she also finds enjoyment of seeing people getting tortured. They actually made up a game on how they would torture a certain civilian 💀

🌟 When it comes to how she treats the people of Rosas, she is as I said, less confronting and puts on more of a fake smile and gaslights everyone that their kingdom is fine or whatever (It is not gaslighting when it is telling the truth. I feel so offended right know! DUDE LADY CHILL I AM CREATING YOU RN AND YOU ARE ALREADY TRYING TO GASLIGHT ME WTF😭)

🌟 When she has a star's powers, I feel like it would let her create whatever the fuck she wants at an insanity level. Wishing stars create items that would help users on their journey, so with her, she can use it to her advantage. Also she becomes just as insane as her husband. It also gives a difference in terms to what they would do when they have a star's powers. Magnifico would be able to shapeshift at a corrupt level, and Amaya can manipulate her surroundings that would become reality so to speak at an insane level. I chose this one since it fits her not being more confrontant while Magnifico is more so on that. She be lurking in the shadows like a cat :3

🌟 How she knows so much about the people, is by her cat! I think the cat would be called Custos. Idk the name yet, might go with the concept version of the name.

🌟 I learn more about my prey before I strike at their weakest point. (Nah that's very catnap of you. Unless you want to fall asleep for 100 years, I suggest you choose your words carefully. Bruh alright lady💀) And yes she wrote that in...

🌟 She is such a silly lil guy...AMAYA STOP LET ME BE SILLY U SON OF A BI-😡

Erm anyways...(she tried to eat my dog and steal my cat. GRRRR)

I feel like it would be fun if it is just expanding their empire for their main goal or taking over the world. Kind of like this song as their modivation:

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I want this to be their goal since it kind of feels like some of the old Disney Villains, for me at least :3 (And I am having WAYYYY to much fun with their characters already hehe)

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Final Thoughts

On a final note, I will mention that there is a possibility that all of this wont make it into the final version. And in all honesty, I'm actually shocked I was able to compose all of this together without mentioning what they do with the wishes, like what- 😭

I also am still debating if Amaya and Magnifico made the kingdom or it was passed down through generations. Don't know yet tbh :^

Also, Amaya was sort of difficult for me to jot down since I didn't know how to get her into the story, and I think I am slowly, but surely getting there :D

I also really tried to make it different and fresh from the other versions and I am very excited to show that "I DECIDE WHAT EVERYONE DESERVES" when it is done (it is now We decide what everyone Deserves).

You can also ask both Amaya and Magnifico questions regarding the info you know about them now and about how they feel with the other versions of them if you want to of course (and I can show off their designs HEHHEH)

And yes...I had too much fun with writing out how they would interact with the post. DW, they wont interact here in the Final Thoughts section hehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I might also do a post on Asha since I have been pretty quiet on her character design/rewrite and another post about Star Boy since I wanna get more in depth with the ideas of Wishing Stars in my AU.

Speaking of Au...

what to call this AU of mine hmmmmm

I'll go with The Kingdom of Roses and Thorns, or TKoRaT. Feels fitting to me, at least for what I am going for story wise and character wise. Might change it since I can't stick with one thing, but rn it rolls off the tongue nicely.

Until then, I hope you have a great day and I hope Magnifico and Amaya don't steal your dreams 💀

@oh-shtars @annymation @chillwildwave @signed-sapphire

(They are thinking of working with your versions of Magnifico and Amaya oh boy not good 💀)

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colorfulmess14 · 5 months

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I think it's cool whenever you learn more about a story's world through Journal entries. It reminds me of video games.

#artists on tumblr #art #artwork #fanart #artist #digital art #fan art #fanartist #artist on tumblr #ninjago #ninjago jay #jay walker #jay #ninjago fan season #story rewrite #journal entry

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thatonepizzaman · 4 months

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Thinking of rewriting moloch’s orgin story. . Should I?

#the pizzaman exists #kirby oc #old kirby oc #old oc #rewrite #story rewrite

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candyvoid · 5 months

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A little update for the refs for my reimagining of Alice and Wonderland

The only ref I'm reworking a lot is is Queen

#alice and wonderland reimagining #alice in wonderland #cheshire cat #alice #jabberwocky #red queen #white rabbit #the caterpillar #march hare #mad hatter #story rewrite #orginal comic concept #oc art

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achickennamedcheese · 1 month

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What they could've done with Lunar's story

Alright, so, this is what I'm gonna call the "Zak and Human" Method, because the storyline for my OC Zak mostly fits here.

Zak works for a galactical government called "The Base of Dimensions" or BOD. Humans aren't supposed to have magic, and when they do it's an anomaly, so Zak's job is to investigate the anomaly and make sure that the magical human is not a threat. This is because the most dangerous galactical and universal threats began from small, unchecked anomalies like magic humans.

Why couldn't they do the same thing for Lunar???

Okay, so Lunar suddenly has powers, wouldn't be weird right? On Earth, even animatronics can cast spells and have magic, such as Moon or Eclipse. But what makes Lunar an anomaly is the fact that his powers don't abide by the same magic system of his original planet. His powers are a different thing entirely, and that is an anomaly, an anomaly that could turn into a threat if left unchecked.

And so Gemini, the "Zak" of this scenario, is sent to handle Lunar by a higher power or a higher government. If Lunar can prove he can handle his powers, then he won't be seen as a threat and all will be well. If Lunar can't, then he will be killed off. It seems harsh, but this is all to prevent a small problem from becoming a big issue. All of this is explained to Lunar by Gemini, because honestly it's stupid to hide it and why would they have any reason to.

All seems to go well, Gemini trains Lunar and Lunar seems to be getting a handle on everything, including a potential relationship with Gemini! But then Lunar does something he shouldn't have, he kills Eclipse.

By killing Eclipse, Lunar has proved to the higher powers that Lunar has the potential to become a threat. At least, a threat to his planet, at most, a threat to his galaxy, and that's what causes Gemini to be so mad at Lunar. Gemini really does care for Lunar, and seeing them mess up like this and put themselves in jeopardy upset them a lot because now Lunar would be on the extermination list. And now Gemini has to plead for Lunar's case, for the higher powers to give Lunar a second chance. And with that, Gemini is gone.

I feel like this would've justified Gemini's anger, along with the reason why Gemini came in the first place. The reason as to why Gemini even bothered to train Lunar is so vague that I don't think the writers even knew. So many say that Lunar didn't deserve to be yelled at and Eclipse deserved to die again, and when you see what played out I can understand that! When you actually look at it, Lunar's weather powers are probably pretty petty compared to the other things that exist in this Universe, so why??? Why would the astral bodies give a shit???

In this little version, Gemini tells Lunar why they're here, what they want to do, and why they're gonna help Lunar. This tells both Lunar and the audience what the stakes are and why Lunar has to do this training thing. And when Eclipse ends up dying and Gemini gets pissed, at least fans who watch can understand why Gemini is mad. Whether or not Eclipse deserved dying, Lunar just put himself on the extermination list and now Gemini has to find a way to get Lunar out of it.

It's such a simple storyline and maybe this is what the writers were going for! But if it is, they didn't convey it well.

I know that LAES and SAMS aren't supposed to be a marvel of writing, but if you're gonna have characters and story lines you could at LEAST make them make sense.

People are probably gonna be mad at me for this or point out things in episodes that point to this little story change not making sense, and okay, I get it, it's not like I watched ALL of the LAES or SAMS episodes so I understand if I missed some things. But seriously I feel like this is a simple fix, especially when you have a world as loose as the Security Breach Show universe. For fucks sake, Monty and Puppet are thinking of switching Cringe Foxy and Normal Foxy???

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giveamadeuschohisownmovie · 1 month

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How I would’ve handled the build-up to the Defenders:

1) Instead of rushing the miniseries out, the shows should’ve at least had an extra year or two to flesh the heroes and villains out.

2) Daredevil season 1 remains the same. Season 2 is only about the Punisher. Season 3 is only about Elektra Natchios. So, the original season 2 is now split in half.

3) Jessica Jones season 1 remains the same. Season 2 is about a season-long investigation that puts her in the crosshairs of Murakami, one of the Hand’s leaders.

4) Luke Cage season 1 is focused only on Cornell Stokes/Cottonmouth (so get rid of the mid-season death). Season 2 introduces Willis Stryker/Diamondback, who is revealed to be an agent of Sowande, one of the Hand’s leaders.

5) Iron Fist season 1 is only about Danny Rand and his feud with the Meachums. Season 2 is more about Colleen Wing and her feud with Bakuto and the Hand.

After all that, THEN we go into the Defenders. With this set-up, we don’t have to waste episodes on Luke and Jessica having to learn about the Hand. We could just go straight into the team being brought together. Also, we don’t have to wait for the Defenders miniseries to have them meet. A few ways this could be done:

* Luke and Danny can meet in their respective season 2s of their shows

* Jessica Jones can have a one-off meeting with Daredevil in one of their shows. And vice versa.

* Matt can have a run-in with Luke during his feud with Frank Castle. He can also run into Danny during the Elektra arc.

* Jessica Jones could be hired by Master Stick, which leads her to Murakami (so connecting Daredevil and Jessica Jones).

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poindexters-labratory · 11 months

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#coughs #creepypasta #alternate universe #artists on tumblr #story rewrite #character redesign #ticci toby #fuck kastoway #from an old tumblr account #i've spent a lot of time on this au #like 4 years #might redraw this later #future stuff #future project #it's a long story #REALLY LONG #he's my baby

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criminalmutantsins · 5 months

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Sylki Rewrite

(Note: Although I don’t like Sylki, I don’t have a problem with anyone who ships them.) Warning: Internalized Homophobia Mention

Two weeks ago, I binged the Loki series. To put it shortly, I loved it! Loki has one of the best character development I’ve ever seen. He moved past his insecurities and realized what he truly wanted- to be loved and seen. The time aspect was easy to digest and didn’t complicate or overinflate the concept too much. I loved the new characters, especially Mobius and O.B. Mobius and Loki’s chemistry was amazing and so natural, which makes sense since Mobius was his first friend. O.B. was lovable and so nerdy. I hope they both return to future projects. Though I didn’t connect with her as much, B-15 was a good addition, and would be happy to see her return. When it comes to Sylvie, I'm mixed with her. She’s well-written for the most part, but I didn’t like the Sylki romance in S1, and her attitude got irritating in S2 (I'll most likely write a separate post on it). Alongside thinking Loki being attracted to a version of himself is weird, their romance felt rushed and unnatural. I couldn’t really see Loki being attracted to/like/in love with someone that quickly and Sylvie looked like she barely tolerated him, even in the second season. Honestly, I think this romance was pushed by Disney instead of the writers, mainly because there was a moment in Episode 4 where Mobius rants about how strange the attraction was. I’d like to think that was the writers calling out Disney for how weird this idea was. I would’ve liked it more if Loki and Sylvie had a sibling-like relationship. I would’ve written it where Loki feels protective of Sylvie because he sees a bit of himself in her such as his anger, loneliness, and wish to belong somewhere. But, he also respects her because she lived alone and in survival mode, teaching herself how to use magic and escape death. In turn, Sylvie sort of resents Loki, especially when he mentions his relationship with Frigga, since he lived in Asgard and had a family while she lived alone and in fear. I would have a scene where Sylvie lashes out at him (maybe when he accidentally breaks the Tempad), calling him a fool for taking his family’s love for granted. On the other hand, Loki snapped and said how she had the chance to be her true self while Loki lived under Thor’s shadow and Asgard’s expectations. Maybe go as far as to mention how he felt he had to hide his bisexuality and genderfluidity out of fear of not being accepted. By the end of the argument, both realize how their pain does not absolve others and that there is good and bad in their lives. Other than the kiss scene, the scene with Loki trying to stop Sylvie from killing He Who Remains was great.

I was so glad S2 left the ship behind. It was one of the reasons why I think S2 is a big improvement. I can’t really describe their relationship since there are moments when they get along but there are others when Sylvie is really standoffish and doesn't seem to like Loki. Maybe the closest description would be bickering siblings, which is close to what I wanted.

Did anyone else get nervous that there would be a Sylki kiss in the S2 finale? I was, especially when he was trying to stop her from killing HWR again. If they did, it would've messed with my enjoyment since there was no indication in previous episodes that they were continuing the romance. Thankfully, they didn't and the finale was perfect, even if it broke my heart that Loki will live alone for as long as he's alive. I wanted him to be happy with everyone.

#loki tv #loki laufeyson #sylvie #mobius m mobius #ouroboros #story rewrite #character rewrite #loki season one #loki season 2 #mcu #marvel #asgard #frigga #he who remains #anti sylki

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star-light-shadows · 6 months

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Pikmin 4 Story Rewrite.

Main Goals:

Make the story fit within the universe of Pikmin 1-3.

Implement the ongoing Wraith background story from the first three games into the narrative.

Improve Louie’s role in the story.

(Note: Gameplay will not be the main focus here. I may explain some gameplay changes if they are relevant to the story, and I cannot guarantee that they are perfect changes from a gameplay or balancing perspective.)

(Another Note: The initial premise of the rewrite was initially a placeholder premise, but I just ended up rolling with it as I kept writing.)

Your name is Lisa. (Default name for the customizable character.) You are the youngest child of a living legend named Olimar. You grew up listening to stories of Olimar’s adventures on the planet PNF-404.

You have just recently graduated top of your class into the Rescue Corps. A humanitarian organization dedicated to rescuing people from perilous situations across the cosmos. Your father is incredibly proud.

Immediately after your graduation to the force, Olimar takes you on a journey to PNF-404 with the intent to give you some personal training in what he has dubbed “The art of Dandori.”

The tutorial of the game has Olimar introducing you properly to the Pikmin; the tutorial takes place in a sectioned-off area of the Hero’s Hideaway. Midway through the tutorial, Olimar and Lisa encounter a strange green dog. Moss.

Olimar mentions her looking similar to Oatchi, the mascot of the Rescue Corps and tries to give a rundown on the capabilities of this kind of space dog. Moss isn’t antagonistic at first, but doesn’t listen to neither Lisa nor Olimar. She just goes off and does her own thing, including attacking Spotty Bulbears and even eating Shearwigs whole, much to Olimar’s disturbance.

The tutorial wraps up as Lisa recovers the first treasure and brings it to the S.S. Dolphin. However, when she calls her comms, Olimar doesn’t respond. Immediately concerned, Lisa runs to the Onion and discovers a pack of Pikmin carrying an unconscious and helmetless Olimar towards the Onion. Lisa recognizes the danger of the situation but is unable to prevent the event.

Olimar pops out of the top of the Onion suddenly in a leafified state, his entire head covered in red leaves with a singular green leaf growing out of a stem on the back of his head, mimicking a Space-suits locator beacon.

Lisa goes to Olimar to try and shake him to his senses, but hears the sound of a charge horn and is suddenly attacked by the Red Pikmin. In the commotion, she is unable to get a look at the one issuing the order, and runs back to the S. S. Dolphin.

Lisa quickly escapes from the planet and returns to Rescue Corps H.Q., where she alerts her team captain, Captain Shepard, to the unfortunate circumstance. Dingo, the team’s Ranger, can’t help but be dumbfounded that Olimar was “Dumb enough not only to go back to that planet, but to get himself stuck there a 4th time!” Lisa glares at him, and Captain Shepard no-nonsensically sounds the alert to set out on a mission to rescue Olimar.

Upon running into the planet, Lisa is barely unable to warn the pilot in time to avoid a meteor that her father avoided during his landing on the planet, causing the Ship to begin hurdling towards the planet. The immediate collision knocks Lisa directly into an escape pod along with Oatchi, which automatically jettisons and takes them to the surface.

Upon landing, Lisa watches the sky and sees the S.S. Shepard crash at a nearby area. Lisa begins to run off towards the Ship but stops when she realizes that Oatchi isn’t following suit. Turning back to see the Pup mortified at the situation, Lisa remembers her father explaining how to gain a dog’s trust and tenderly comforts Oatchi, forming a bond with the Pup in record time.

Lisa and Oatchi quickly make their way near the Ship and immediately encounter Collin, the Communications operator. The 3 make their way to the Ship and find that one crewmate landed mere feet away from the Ship, Russ, the Engineer--Being the only one who actually knew how to drive the escape pods, yet managing to crash his pod anyway.

Collin and Russ both examine the S.S. Shepard and determine that it is in horrible condition. Russ is already hard at work detaching a rudimentary device from the inside of the Ship to send a beacon out to the other escape pods, but once it is finished, only Lisa’s appears.

Fearing that everyone else has crashed, the 3 have no choice but to explore the surrounding area and hope for the best. They discover the Sparklium-infused treasures in the nearby area as well as a red onion (One with a noticeably different design than the one used in the intro) buried in the ground. Lisa is initially wary of the Red Onion after the incident but realizes that the Pikmin are their best chance at saving the crew and Olimar.

The crew recovers the treasures and grows a sizable Pikmin count, and the S.S. Shepard is working again. With the power to the Ship back on, Russ begins work on modifying Lisa’s escape pod into an all-purpose exploratory vehicle, which he dubs “The S.S. Beagle.”

Both Collin and Russ being in no way equipped to be field personnel; they place their trust in Lisa and her training from her father to get them through this nightmare.

Lisa travels to the Sun-Speckled Terrace and encounters a number of relevant story beats that can technically happen in any order spread over any number of days but generally have the following cause and effect.

Lisa recovers the next Rescue Corps member, who is, gameplay-wise, technically equivalent to Captain Shepard but is actually a 9th Rescue Corps member, Nelle, the Animal specialist. She trains Oatchi to carry Pikmin on his back the next day, trains him to swim once Lisa gains access to the Serene Shores, and allows Lisa to steadily train Oatchi’s abilities over the course of the game.

The crew discovers Raw Material, and the next day, Russ uses some of the material collected from the previous day to build gadgets for Lisa, including the Charge Horn, which Lisa recognizes as a tool only a captain should be able to use, highlighting the question of who made the Pikmin Leafify Olimar and then attack her.

They discover the existence of Castaways on this planet that are not part of the rescue crew, with Collin noting that there have been reports of people coming to this planet despite the dangers as a result of Olimar’s wide-spread stories about the planet, wishing to get rich, see the sights, etc.

One of these Castaways is found as a Leafling similar to what Olimar became. The Leafling is examined the next morning, but no one on the present team knows what to do with him. So they set out to find the Doctor, Yonny.

Lastly, Lisa encounters Leafified Olimar (Henceforth called “Olimin,”) now working alongside Moss and having captured Dingo the Ranger.

Lisa, of course, tries to reason with Olimin, but her pleas fall on deaf ears, and Olimin attempts to leafify Dingo using the unusual Onion from the tutorial. Lisa is able to prevent Olimar and Moss from doing so, but the two get away.

At the end of this day/Beginning of the next, the Rescue Corp figures out their next steps.

Dingo explains that he managed to find Captain Shepard and the Pilot, Bernard, and the three had encountered Olimin capturing another castaway, before Shepard herself got captured. Dingo and Bernard were just barely able to escape, but what happened to Bernard is a complete mystery as last Dingo remembers before getting captured by Olimin, Bernard was with him.

Dingo proclaims that he will take the helm of the mission since he is the “only” one here equipped for fieldwork. However, Collin explains that Lisa’s been handling herself very well so far. Dingo, being the blowhard that he is, gets defensive of his place on the team and challenges Lisa to the game’s first Dandori Duel. (A name Lisa gives it named after the term her father used.)

Dingo is laughably bad at even the basics of handling Pikmin and gets his butt whooped by Lisa, even with Oatchi being sidelined for fairness. Dingo tries desperately to save face by showing Lisa respect for beating him, even though it’s obvious that the dude is completely livid. (He eventually warms up to Lisa in the latter half of the game.)

Lisa makes her way to the Blossoming Arcadia and encounters Olimin again, this time having captured Yonny. This time, Olimin remembers how Lisa attacked him and recovered Dingo prior and immediately leafifies Yonny before Lisa can do anything. He then challenges Lisa to a Dandori duel, explaining that he sees promise in her work. If she defeats him, he’ll return and even Unleafify her Doctor.

It’s a tough battle (This and the rematch at Hero’s hideaway being the only ones,) but Lisa wins, and Olimin puts Yonny through the strange Onion again, this time after dousing him with a strange bright green liquid.

With Yonny recovered, the crew then begins their plan for curing the leaflings they’ve currently collected. Yonny examines the Leaflings, himself, and the footage of the prior day and discovers that the strange green liquid, “Glow Sap,” is easily harvestable from a location in the Rescue Corps’ current base. However, he determines that they cannot use the same Onion they have in their current possession and must instead use the Strange Onion Olimin has been using.

Initially disheartened by this, Dingo chimes in to explain that he’s seen the Strange Onion before. It would occasionally appear during the night, with Olimin nowhere to be found. The crew then begins going on night expeditions and searching out the Strange Onion for the purpose of reversing Leafification.

When Lisa lands in a given location on a given map at night, the Strange Onion lands on the opposite side of the map. The S.S. Beagle then drops the designated Leafling, and the player must protect a small group of Pikmin carrying the Leafling to the Strange Onion from various aggressive nocturnal predators.

Lisa makes her way to Serene shores, and pretty much the entire area is the same, aside from the Waterwraith no longer being present and the leafified Rescue Corps member Lisa recovers being Captain Shepard. Shepard praises Lisa for her evidently excellent work and gives off major “I’m adopting this kid” vibes while doing so.

Lisa arrives at the Hero’s Hideaway and finally makes it to Olimin’s hiding space. Olimin’s rematch happens, and Moss runs away when Olimin is beaten and resigns himself to Lisa’s intentions. Lisa quickly puts Olimin into the Strange Onion after dowsing him with Glow-sap.

Lisa and her father have a tearful reunion where Olimar tells Lisa how proud he is of her. The Rescue Corps would be ready to leave, having now recovered their target, if it weren’t for the fact that simply driving the S.S. Shepard is so complicated that they genuinely NEED Bernard to get off the planet.

Thankfully, Olimar himself has a lead in that he remembers following Moss as a Leafling to an area that he described as “Very Wistful” (Obvious reference to the Wistful Wild is obvious), unlocking the final area of the game, The Primordial Thickit.

He also remembers seeing a strange Blue Leafling similar to Olimin just before being knocked out and turned into a Leafling himself at the beginning of the game.

Upon arriving there, Lisa encounters Moss and the Blue Leafling, with Bernard in their clutches. Olimar gets a closer look at the leafling and, recognizing the disgusting space suit in combination with the Blue color scheme, deduces that it’s Louie. (Henceforth called “Loufie.”)

Olimar questions why in the universe Louie would be here, and Lisa’s immediate belief is that Loufie is the villain of this story who attacked her father and must be stopped.

Lisa follows Loufie and traces him back to the final Dandori duel of the game. Upon being defeated, Moss growls in anger and runs away, with Loufie attempting to follow suit.

Lisa then humorously football throws a glass of Glow-sap at Loufie to keep him from escaping and throws him into the Strange Onion, curing him in the belief that, once cured, he’ll be less of a problem. They also bring Bernard back.

Louie thanks Lisa for saving him, explaining that, as a Leafling, he was not in control of his actions, much like Olimar. He had been following Moss around ever since his leafification, the Dog seeming to have some kind of control over him, which it used to make him attack and Leafify Olimar. He and Olimar reconcile over the incident.

The Final Cave of the game is completely non-essential to story progression, but the end of it does hold some juicy lore.

At the bottom of the “Hole for a Host” you will actually find a Mamuta’s den, consisting of 3 Mamuta eggs that hatch into Mamutas when approached. Once all 3 Mamutas are killed, The Mamamuta comes out and attacks your Pikmin, crushing them between its stone hands.

Olimar’s Piklopedia entry for the Mamamuta states

“The root cause of an embryonic Mamuta’s apparent mutation into a Smoky Progg was never clear in my past escapades to this planet, but upon the miraculous discovery of an undisturbed Mamuta den, further analysis has led to an unsettling discovery.

Mamuta eggs are nearly indestructible, with one that is destined to hatch into a Smoky Progg only being easy to crack thanks to the presence of the parasite responsible for the deadly miasma for which the Smoky Progg is named.

This parasite remains unidentified, but given the indestructible nature of the egg, it is theorized that the only possible parasite that could infect one is something anchored in another dimension.”

In the final event of the story, Lisa goes on a night expedition in the Primordial Thicket with Bernard as the to-be-cured Leafling. Once Lisa and her squad make it to the location of the Strange Onion, they find Moss guarding it.

Moss growls at Lisa with an anger so evident as to be scary. It then Pulls out a small squad of Pikmin from the strange Onion and sends them attacking Lisa for the first phase of the final boss fight.

Once the misguided Pikmin are warded off, Moss roars in fury while smoky black clouds emanate from its fur. It then jumps into the Strange Onion, which causes it to jolt around strangely. After a couple shakes, all the Pikmin that were within the False Onion suddenly come running out in terror and run into the woods.

The False Onion shakes violently as it is engulfed by the black fog, morphing into a giant spider-like beast, resembling some kind of mix of the Beedy Long Legs and the Smoky Progg.

The Abyssal Long Legs is a shape-shifting force to be reckoned with, making use of the same Gloom hazard as the original Smoky Progg, killing any Pikmin caught in its grasp. It will also try to whistle your Pikmin, calling them to mindlessly run into its void. It can even grab Lisa and attempt to turn her into a Leafling, (instant game over,) something you must prevent by ramming into it with Oatchi.

Once the monster is defeated, a shockwave is produced that instantly de-leafifies Bernard.

Lisa returns to the base with Bernard, and everyone prepares to leave PNF-404 for hopefully the final time.

However, when it’s time to leave, Louie is nowhere to be seen. Olimar explains that Louie told him that he came to this planet of his own free will and wanted to stay because he felt free and at peace here. Olimar says he doesn’t understand Louie, but that he accepts his choice.

A scene is shown where Louie willingly jumps into the main Onion that’s been used all game and gets leafified, this time in full control of himself, before jovially running into the wilderness, hopefully never to bother anyone or be bothered again.

Olimar, now reunited and infinitely more proud of his child than he was before, leaves with the Rescue Corps.

#pikmin 4 #pikmin #story rewrite #pikmin au

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exammole · 5 months

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My changes to Miraculous for my rewrite: Season 0

Part 2: Story

Part 1: Magic System

Note: Although I will be using the show as a base, with a lot of the storybeats being in this rewrite. I’ll also be changing and adding new stuff to it.

Also I’m realising this just now, I’ll probably have to change my plan. Instead of putting Magic System, Plot, Characters into three posts. I’ll be spreading the Plot between 5 different posts for every season in this rewrite.

Order of the Guardians

Kwami are the celestial beings that embody the various components of Gimme, the god of Reality, all Kwami are extensions of them and are created whenever a new concept is created. Tikki and Plagg would be the first to be born, being gifted the specific power that if their domains were ever to cross, she’d be summoned.

The Kwami would soon wish to be apart of the world they helped define, so Gimme would grant a human the power to give them physical form 2000 years ago. This man would become the first Mage. This mage would first created 7 Miraculous, magic jewellery that could give Kwami a physical form; these Kwami would be Tikki, Plagg, Nooroo, Wayzz, Trixx, Pollen and Duusu, followed by many more during his lifetime. He would pass this skill onto his children, who would pass it down to theirs, and so fourth.

This would be the beginning of the ‘Order of the Guarduans’, which at the time consisted of Mages and their non magical famiy members, who would become blessed by Gimme to become Guardians. But would eventually grow out and become a secret society hidden in Tibet. Attempts were made to globalise the Order, but the Witch Trials of Massachusetts would prove to dangerous.

An attempt to recreate the Kwami was made, creating the Prodigious and the Renlings as a result, but the power would prove to dangerous for use and be kept under the protection of Mei Shi, created by Gimme to ward off use.

Fu Wang

In 1919 a young Wang Fu would be training to become a Guardian. Fu was excruciatingly hungry during this session, so he’d use the Peacock Miraculous to create a sentimonster to send him food. His anger towards being a Guardian fueled it’s creation, and went on an eating spree destroying everything. The only survivors were Fu, some Grimoires, the 7 main Miraculous (with the Peacock being lost). And Su-Han who hid in Fluff’s pocket dimension before the jewel was destroyed, along woth all the items already being held within.

(In this rewrite Fluff’s power is Abduction, and has access to a pocket dimension. This pocket dimension isn’t bound to time)

Fu would start travelling the world, holding immense trauma and guilt on his shoulders. He would find his way to Paris in 1938, meeting a girl called Marianne Lenoir. The two would fall in love, with Fu telling her about the Miraculous later on into their friendship. 1940’s Paris happened and Fu would insist her to come with him to London, but she refused and stayed in Paris. He would gift her the Butterfly Miraculous to aid her, and he didn’t tell her his feelings that night. Marianne would use the Butterfly to bevome Delias.

Four years later he would come back for her, but when he found out Marianne had fell for another man he couldn’t bare the hurt anymore and left without retrieving the Butterfly, let alone saying a word.

The Agreste’s and Graham de Vanily’s

Marianne and her soon to be husband Jules Grassette (he’s a new character) would get married a few years later with a son called Gabi. Gabi would start to get into fashion, meeting Natalie and Emilie in school (Dupont). Gabi would grow up to be a tailor, getting engaged to Emilie after graduation, and the three would remain close for years to come.

Gabi would change his name to Gabriel Agreste years later, after getting big after he helped Andre Bourgeois impress Audrey. Around the same time he’d be given the Butterfly Miraculous as an heirloom from his parents who would’ve died. This is where him, Emilie and Natalie would first learn of the Miraculous.

Emilie was the eldest daughter of the Graham de Vanily’s, an aristocratic family in Paris, followed by her twin sister Amelie. Emilie was very rebellious, and her marriage with a humble tailor got her removed from the inheritance. This would leave Amelie in line, amd she’d be married off too billionaire Colt Fathom.

Both sisters would desire to have children, but as both were infertile Her, Gabriel and Natalie would begin their search for a way. They’d come into contact with Tomoe Tsurugi, the owner of tech company Tsurugi Industies, who would give them a Grimoire in agreement that Gabriel would join the Affluent Society (rich people controlling the world club.) With the Grimoire and with the aid of Nooroo, the three would find the destroyed remains of the Order and locate the location of the Peacock.

Some years would go by, Emilie would use the Miraculous, becoming Peahen. Creating Adrien with the use of a power she was not ready for. Colt eventually used the Miraculous himself to create Felix, jealous that his family didn’t have an heir first. Jumping to a power that they were not trained for, both Emilie and Colt broke the Peacock in use, which started draining their life force. The two would die during Adrien and Felix’s childhoods, Gabriel shutting himself in his house trying to find a way to reverse the effect of the Peacock, and to bring his wife back from death.

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cvbullshit · 5 months

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Now that Yandere Dev is dead in the water and his game is as deep in the sand as he is.. I, a random person on the internet, vote that we as a community take the concept of Yandere Simulator and make it into something better!

Because the concept IS decent, just the execution needs work... A lot of work.

Everyone should have their own ideas for it so Imma say my vague concept that I probably won't ever bring up again.

For my new take on the concept, for one, almost all the main characters are actually going to be adults. It's stated that they already are but that's bullshit that Yandere Dev clearly used to justify some in game bullshit, they're in fucking high school, maybe one could be 18, but not fucking all of them.

Second, I might replace Ayano with some demonic or otherworldly being that's not exactly in love with Taro but heavily obsessive and interested in him, possessive even. Because honestly, while the point of the story IS a Yandere school girl, that topic has been milked to absolute death and is prone to get boring as hell. Plus, it's my idea to rewrite the story, I can take it as far as I damn want!

If Ayano is a demonic being in this, possibly Taro could be in this occult team/club/gang/cult so that way Ayano has REASON to be interested and connected to him.

Taro, in this rewrite, is a complex person. He's a nice guy, lives alone with and takes care of his 13 year old sister after his dad ditched them and he kiiiinnnda murdered his mom for the cult he's in and because he just disliked her. Yeah, Taro ain't no goodie two shoes bland mf now! He may be nice, treats his sister well, and partly believes he's a good person but he's in a cult, is willing to murder people who he thinks deserves it or anyone who threatens to find out about his crimes, and he supports cannibalism, under the right circumstances though. He still comes off as, and kinda is, a nice guy who wants to help people in any way he can, real protective of his friends and whom he dubs as innocent. He's got the mentality of wanting to see half the world burn and half the world blossom, he wants all those he thinks are bad or beyond helping to suffer while he wants the ones he believes are innocent to live happy and healthy lives.

Him and Ayano's dynamic is something I'm still thinking about honestly, as while rewriting the other characters is somehow easy, rewriting Ayano is just a pain for me somehow, it's hard to really rewrite anything about her and I don't know why. I may keep her emotionless thing going on though, not sure.

For Taro's sister, she's a slightly bratty newly teen, is very attached to her brother as he's the only family she has left but isn't overly affectionate with him, if anything, she's the most bratty with him. She doesn't expect too much from him and doesn't believe she can pout or whine to get her way but slightly does so to be petty and because Taro doesn't really react negatively to it... Yet. She has no idea what happened to her mom, just views her as missing, and has no idea Taro is in a cult. To her, she's got a normal life, despite her mom going missing and viewing her dad as the biggest jackass alive.

Taro and Osana's relationship and meeting is pretty different in this, Osana won't be Taro's childhood friend, I'll be giving that to someone else, instead Osana is a girl living in an apartment building, cooped up in her apartment and barely interacting with the outside world. After a stalking and obsessive situation she was the victim of, leading to the death of her cat, she swore she'd never trust the world again. Her apartment is a mess as she has no friends, she cut off her family, and she has no one to even talk to, she could technically be counted as a slob but at least she keeps herself clean. She hates the world and especially has issues with men.

When she meets with Taro for the first time, she wants absolutely nothing to do with him, constantly is mean to him, insults him, ect. Taro would've not dealt with her after their first interaction but learns what a state she's in from the apartment building owner and vows to try to help her and be kind to her. Why? Because he feels bad for her... And because he accidentally ran over a cat so he feels the need to feel better about himself, using the excuse of trying to prove to the world or some higher force that he can still be a good person. So...

I will leave it there! My ramblings went off the rails and this is only a concept that I have no idea I'll even touch on again.

#random post #random thoughts #just random ideas #yandere simulator #story idea #story rewrite #yandere sim revamp #yandere sim rewrite #concept #story concept #rewrite #rewrite concept #idk what to call this #idk how to tag this #for fun #i actually think i like taro's character in this

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whatislovevavy · 3 months

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So...Mustang...

I'm asking because, I recently re-read some of the chapters and I guess this is a sign of me becoming a better writer, but I'm kind of not a fan of the pacing of the story and want to try again with it. Anyways, let me know you guys' thoughts <3

#mustang #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #story rewrite

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sailorshadzter · 1 year

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in my darkest of nights, you are the light which guides me home - a rewrite.

what if harry potter was not the final horcrux? a dark story of friendship, love, war, and everything between.

a rewrite of a story i wrote in 2014. a very dark story. please read at your own risk.

chapter 2.

chapter 3.

chapter 4.

#hinny #harry x ginny #my og otp #story rewrite #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #we're going to ignore the one photo of a guy without glasses #because thats my ultimate hinny inspo pic for the last like 10yrs lol

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niall-ate-mynamee · 4 months

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Looking in the Eyes of a Stranger (part one)

Author's note: hello lovers <3

So, this is the rewrite of my old Nouis fic 'Thanks To The Internet', that I started writing last night. Reading the original fic back now makes me cringe lol, so this is the new version of it! It's a brand new name, new story (technically), but it'll be based off of the original storyline. Apparently, when I was first writing, I said screw the story development, let's get straight into the angst and hurting our beautiful Nialler hahahah. It just seemed so rushed and unrealistic, so because of that, I have began to rewrite it. Please let me know what you think and please be honest lol. I'll have part two up before Christmas! <3

SUMMARY: Being a 15 year old is anything but simple. When Niall Higgins meets Louis Tomlinson online, a crush is developed and family life gets complicated.

Characters: Niall Horan as Niall Higgins (15) Louis Tomlinson as Louis Tomlinson (17) Harry Styles as Harry Higgins (18) Eleanor Calder as Eleanor Higgins (12) Liam Payne as Liam Payne (15) Danielle Peazer as Danielle Peazer (15) Paul Higgins as Paul Higgins (45) Preston Mahon as Preston Higgins (47)

Harry is Niall’s older brother. Eleanor is Niall’s younger sister. Liam is Niall’s best friend. Danielle is Liam’s girlfriend/Niall’s best friend. Paul (papa) and Preston (dad) are Niall, Harry and Eleanor’s adoptive parents. Louis is Niall’s online friend/crush.

15 year old Niall Higgins thought his life was average. He had two fathers and two siblings who loved him, even though they aren’t blood related. His best friends were awesome. His online friend and crush was beautiful (or so he thought from the few pictures he’s seen). School was school, okay, but he was pleased he was in his final year. So, a pretty average life, if you asked him. Besides, being online for hours everyday was normal for a teenager, right?

Did he mention he was gay?

He had met Louis five months ago on a messaging site. His fathers had warned him of the dangers of talking to strangers online, but he knew Louis wasn't like that. They had video called once or twice, though they couldn't speak due to neither of them having a microphone, but it was still fun and they saw each other's faces, so it was all good in Niall's opinion. However, his parents didn't know the details. He was 15 for goodness sake, he didn't need to tell his parents everything. They knew he had a friend called Louis, and that Niall liked him, but they didn't know that Louis was two years older than him, they would freak out if they ever found out. So, Niall didn't tell them.

His 18 year old brother, Harry, had accidently walked in on them video calling one day, and when he questioned Niall about Louis, the younger boy had confessed that Louis was slightly older than him and begged him not to tell their parents. Harry, being the good big brother he was, promised he wouldn't, as long as Niall was careful and if he was to ever meet Louis in real life, he'd take Harry with him. Niall, of course, promised he would and had thanked his brother profusely. The two brothers had always been close, and Harry didn't want to jepodise that over a silly internet crush. Harry was young once, he knew what it was like. Besides, he'd probably grow out of it soon enough.

Honestly, Niall was beyond happy. He was actually doing better than he'd ever done at school because of Louis. His parents were proud of him and had actually recently bought him a new guitar as a reward. You see, Niall was also a passionate singer, songwriter and guitarist. He was pretty good at it, too. He was in the process of writing his own song. His parents couldn't believe how good he was. The amount of times Niall had caught them secretly recording him singing and playing guitar was countless at this point, but he could never be mad at them for it. His dream was to become a musician, and apparently his parents were beyond supportive. Niall truly loved them.

Anyways, back to the story.

Niall was currently sat at his desk in his bedroom, computer on and open on the chat messages he was exchanging with Louis.

NiallHiggins08: OMG! You should've seen what Liam did in class today!

NiallHiggins08: we were doing an experiment in chemistry and he mixed two liquids together and POOF they exploded and the entire room was a mess!! XD

LouisTheTommo: thought he was supposed to be the sensible one?! Who's gonna keep you outta trouble now?! D:

NiallHiggins08: HEY!! I can be sensible!!

NiallHiggins08: ...

NiallHiggins08: when I wanna be...

LouisTheTommo: oh PLEASE Nialler, you cannot be sensible to save your life :P

NiallHiggins08: RUDE!! I resent that. No song snippet for you tonight...

LouisTheTommo: oh no, I cannot go on without hearing my nightly snippet!! I sorry Ni, forgive me? I wuv you <3

NiallHiggins08: ...well...fine, but only because I know you'll be pouting behind that screen xx

LouisTheTommo: I only pout for you, babe <3

NiallHiggins08: love you <3

NiallHiggins08: I gotta go, but I'll send you that snippet before I go to bed! Sleep well, talk tomorrow?

LouisTheTommo: of course! Can't wait to hear it. I'll message you the minute I wake up. I love you <3

NiallHiggins08: make it the second you wake up and we'll call it even. Nighty night <3

"Nialler! Pa said dinner will be ready in five minutes. Get your butt downstairs." Called Harry from beyond his younger brother's door. Niall closed the messages and shut off his computer, pushing the chair back and standing, making his way to the door.

"Hello to you too, bro. Whatever happened to a normal greeting? I don't see you all day and this is how you say hi? I am offended, Harold!" Niall joked, dodging his brother's hands as the older boy made a grab at him. "I'm not five anymore, Haz, you can't get me easily anymore!" He laughed, quickly ducking down and moving past Harry towards the stairs, hearing the footsteps behind him.

"Cheeky bugger! Come back here and give me a cuddle!" Harry laughed, just as the two skidded into the kitchen, Niall just barely avoiding knocking into his dad.

"Sorry, dad." He grinned, stepping behind the bigger man, hoping for some protection. "HA! Loser." He laughed, poking his tongue out at Harry before he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders from behind.

"No cuddle for your old man, eh, Ni? You too big for that now?" His pa asked, now with both arms around his son as he squeezed lightly.

"Never too old for a cuddle with you, papa!" He replied, turning around and returning the hug. Seconds later, he felt another pair of arms around him and Harry's familiar curly hair tickled his cheek.

"Gotcha." Harry whispered in his ear and Niall just laughed, living for the moments like these with his family. They broke apart when the sound of plates knocking against the table caught their attention.

"Food!" Niall exclaimed, quickly taking his usual place at the table and hearing his family laugh. "Thanks, dad, looks tasty as always!"

"You flatter me, sweetheart." His dad replied, pressing a kiss to his hair as he passed by. "Ellie, dinner!" He called up the stairs, hearing the almost silent footsteps make their way towards the kitchen. Seconds later, the family of five were sat around the table eating happily and sharing tales of their day.

-----

As dinner time came to an end, and everyone began clearing their plates off the table, Niall glanced up at his parents. "Dad? Papa?" He spoke, gaining their attention. Eleanor had left the room by that point, the pre-teen going into the lounge to watch some TV. Harry was stood at the sink, beginning to wash up, acting like he wasn't really listening to his brother, but wanting to hear what he wanted, knowing from his tone of voice that he was about to ask something his parents might not like. "Could I possibly, like, get a uh, microphone? Please? For my computer..." He asked, playing with his fingers and not looking up, nervous about his parents reactions.

"Why do you want a microphone for your computer?" His pa asked, a suspicious tone to his voice. "Niall."

The teen took a deep breath and looked up hesitantly, almost shrinking away from the slightly narrowed eyes of both parents. "Well, you see, it's a funny story..." He chuckled nervously, but stopped immediately when neither man was backing down, so he slumped down and shrugged. "Fine. It's just that me and Louis, we're messaging all the time and I just feel like we should be able to actually talk to each other properly, and I know you said I shouldn't because it's all online, but -"

He was cut off from his rambling by his dad's hand on his shoulder. "Ni. Just take a breath, sweetheart, okay?" When Niall nodded, doing as instructed, Preston spoke again. "I don't know, Niall, I - no, wait a minute," He held up a hand when the teen was about to interrupt, "You're only 15, babe, I don't particually feel comfortable with you chatting to this boy online, nor do I think you should be video calling each other, so I really don't think you should be getting a microphone to talk to him. Why don't we wait a little bit and when you're 16, we'll talk about it again, hey?" He finished, keeping his hand on his son's shoulder.

Niall was frowning, almost pouting, as he kept his gaze on the table. His papa sighed. "Nialler, your father's right. You're too young to be having an online relationship, anyway. You're lucky we even let you have your own computer and webcam. Don't forget, we can take it away anytime. Don't make me do that. Please. We're trusting you to be sensible and not to push it."

Niall stayed silent for a moment before nodding sadly. "Okay. Sorry dad, papa." He said softly, glancing up and giving a small smile. "Can I just send him one last message tonight, though, please? I promised him I'd send him a little bit of the song I'm working on." He grinned when they both nodded. Standing up, he thanked them and left the room, but not before hearing his brother's voice speak up.

"I'll keep an eye on him. He'll be fine."

Niall just sighed again and walked up the stairs to his room, closing the door and falling down onto his bed. He ran a hand through his hair before letting his arms flop down.

Most of the time, his life was great. Other times, it was slightly less great.

Author's note: so, please let me know what you think of it so far! :)

#niall horan #one direction #harry styles #liam payne #louis tomlinson #niall centric #niallerrr #narry brothers #nouis #nouis fic #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #hurt niall #hurt niall horan #niall!centric #rewrite #story rewrite

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sinkingtime · 5 months

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What if I had done Legend of Korra?

Directed? Written? Showrun? All of them? Basically if I'd been the tyrannical ruler of Nickelodeon at the relevant time, so all things had been according to my whim.

Also, I didn't watch Korra recently. In fact I've been trying to get this written down, intermittently, since at least december of '19. Most likely earlier, but that's what I recall clearly.

Anyways, I don't like energy bending.

So, the bottom line is that that was the only mistake of the original series. When Aang was stressing over killing Ozai or letting him go free, it was an extremely interesting and compelling moral dilemma, which then gets voided entirely.

And not even that, actually. I wouldn't mind the classic "take a third option" resolution, it is a time-honoured tradition, and I do understand that both options would have been too dark for the show's intended rating. Or at least, letting him go would have necessitated a fourth season, in which he deals with fallout from people learning about his decision and/or finds another way to deal with Ozai.

But my issue is that he wasn't looking for a third option. It does come out of nowhere. He wasn't even looking for a second option, actually; it's pretty clear when he's ringing all the past avatars for "advice" that he actually already made up his mind, he will not kill the Fire Lord, and what he's after is for someone to tell him he's doing the right thing. Which they universally do not.

Which I love. I would like to take a moment to praise avatar Yangchen in particular. She agrees entirely with his analysis: their religion absolutely abhors killing, and if he goes through with it he will never be forgiven. There are no excuses, there are no circumstances. And then she tells him to do it anyways, because the price the world pays for his purity is Not Worth It.

That is what "necessary evil" should look like. I also take issue with all the times I've seen the hero do the right thing "at great personal cost", only for the story to then take away those costs. So I guess my ideal finale for Aang would be him killing Ozai, then he gets disgusted with all the praise and gratitude of the people, and runs away. Becomes a recluse or goes back into the ice or something, I don't know, doesn't matter.

The "take his power not his life" option would still work, if only we'd gotten some indication that he wanted something like that. Sokka or Toph could mention it sarcastically, "pity you can't just-". Or King Bumi! Pointing out false dichotomies is basically his entire raison d'être. That'd have been nice, actually.

Then I guess we'd need one more episode, so that Aang can learn some rumours and go to beseech the great spirit's aid, rather than randomly be approached by one. Anyways, none of this matters, for the purpose of this fanfic Legend of Aang ran entirely unchanged.

But then Legend of Korra doubled down on that mistake, made it much more central to the lore and metaphysics of the setting, and I just can't let it stand. I guess I should explain.

Back when Aang got exactly the power he needed to circumvent his moral dilemma, it would have been easy to assume he'd gotten exactly that power, no more, no less. You could even argue it was a temporary thing. I remember one of the comics ends with them trying to decide what to do with a captured villain, Toph says he should depower her, like he did Ozai, obviously; that would have been a great moment for him to mention he doesn't have that power anymore, it was a one-off.

(though, this thing i'm writting won't really acknowledge the comics. they're mostly good, but I want to limit things to both shows. also I don't completely remember if I've read all of them, should probably check)

That possibility went away at the end of season 1 of Korra, when we saw that Aang's ghost had both received the further capacity to pass on the power he'd been given, and to restore power that was lost, even if it wasn't lost in the same way, and he got to both keep and use all of these powers after his own death.

Presumably Korra now has all of the above. I would have been willing to assume the Giant Lion Turtle Spirit would have been careful and passed on only a small fraction of its capabilities, but I cannot in good conscience argue that Aang would give the next avatar in line anything less than the full extent of what he can give. And that's even assuming you could, but this series doesn't really do the "discrete defined spells" thing, it does make more sense that he got all because it was really an all-or-nothing thing.

So, now Korra can take away and give back bending. She should have spent the rest of the series at least threatening her enemies with depowerment. And so far we can assume she at least can't hand out arbitrary powers other than energybending or whatever was taken away, but then the First Avatar flashbacks further double down on this and reveal that, no, this is actually the original source for all bending everywhere.

(in direct contradiction of the original hinted source, which is way cooler and which i will be re-retconing in for this)

So now Korra can turn her muggle allies into benders. She absolutely should have done that; I would have given Asami fire, just to see the look on her dad's face.

And then after she dies the next avatar will have two different people who can pass on energybending. It is therefore easier, since you only need to convince either. Unless the dead avatars agree to seal this power away and then keep that agreement, it will only be a few generations before you can just assume the avatar will always have this power. Soon enough it will simply be a known fact that the avatar is the final arbiter of who does and doesn't have bending.

So, instead

My version of season one will end with Korra not miraculously getting her bending back nor a way to restore other people's, but rather swearing that she will and leaving on a journey to find such a way.

Season two is the research for that cure, then her coming back to Republic City to apply it and facing some political fallout from the way it works. Those should arguably be two seasons but I really want to keep them together if at all possible, for the sake of a minor plot point later.

Season three is a reworked version of Unalaq's evil plot. I am aware that that was the single weakest one, but I believe the general idea is salvageable, all it needs is a hell of a lot of reworking. I also believe I have a better ending. Kind of.

Season four is a follow-up to that ending. It follows a longer timeskip, either "a few years" or "a couple decades"; I haven't decided because I don't actually have such a follow-up. I keep hoping some idea will come to me as I write.

(this may or may not be part of why i have tried and failed to get this posted several times)

Also, the First Avatar flashback would be an animated movie, in this imaginary alternate history. Obviously it's so different as to be basically unrecognizable, but still.

Additionally

Several characters get more-or-less extensive rewrites. To be more interesting, or to line up better with existing canon from Legend of Aang and/or with new improved canon, or sometimes because I just can't help myself. They will be mentioned as they come up, the only one I feel the need to rant about right now is our main heroine.

Korra will be bisexual, and polyamorous, and she knows it. I am not interested in either "self discovery" or "coming out" stories, we're skipping straight to her trying to get both her love interests and herself into a stable, long-term relationship, more or less from the moment she's met both.

My vision for the love triangle is that they keep playing musical chairs with the relationship, she gets frustrated that it seems like someone is always breaking up with someone, and doesn't realize that the problem is the maximum occupancy limit. This would have to last at least a season and a half without the other two noticing or her noticing they're not exactly on the same page, which I suppose means everyone involved is at least a little stupid. Which should be ok, I hope.

Finally

I will argue one of the biggest themes of the original show is "self-improvement". That feels weird to say about a show that's about people who are special from birth, and more specifically about the single specialest of them all, but actually it holds up. The way the magic system is set up, yes you do need to win that genetic (kinda) lottery but after that is when your training starts.

So anyways, the point is that I want to lean into that more. Study, training, practice, research, excercise, whatever; more or less all named characters are at least partially defined by spending time and effort improving themselves, in whatever ways are relevant to each.

#avatar #legend of korra #fanfic #story rewrite #now let's post this before i change my mind AGAIN

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