#andre aka dude

[abirddogmoment]

Crunchy phone photos only but: I have (temporarily) acquired a boy

#this is mavs nephew #he is two years old #he is visiting for a few weeks to learn city skills and do summer camp activities #he is both a balm to my heart and an absolute menace #i already love him but oooohhhhh my god i forgot #i forgot what two year old brittanies are like #i blocked out what intact males are like #honestly it hasnt been bad hes been home for like four hours and hes doing relatively great #but also stop throwing your weight around is2g i need to walk you on leash #anyway his name is andre and i hate that so ive been calling him dude #unfortunately he has phenomenal name recognition (for andre not dude) so..... #andre aka dude #dogblr #(he is not staying dont get your hopes up) #the man the legend: laundry

[pinkcrocss]

Limoreau #1: Sharing is Caring

A/n: This isn't really one of the two long-form fics I mentioned that I was working on, I just had an idea and wanted to write to out. Please be gentle, I really have like no writing experience. I'm literally just trying it out.

It's the end of the semester AKA the busiest time for Professor Brink's only TA, Jordan Li.

Jordan's closest friends are worried because no one can ever pull them away from work when they get like this.

Well... maybe not "no one"

1,200 words

“- so, of course professor Ravi would assign me an entire 10 page paper just cuz I missed a couple dumbass participation points. It’s not like you need to attend every lecture to pass the class… GOD! That guy’s the worst! I mean, you had him last year Jordan, he sucked, right?”

“Mmh.” A short grunt was the only response Andre received as Jordan continued typing rapidly on their laptop.

It was nearing the end of the semester, and as Brink’s TA, Jordan was as swamped as they could possibly be. Grading finals, marking late submissions, final papers, etc. Why Brink decided to take on 4 different courses this year, they couldn’t figure out. Maybe because he knew he could offload all his work to Jordan, a niggling, bitter voice seemed to whisper in their ear, before they shook their head and got back to work.

The other inhabitants of the picnic table watched them with varied looks of exasperation and bemusement. Usually at this point in the semester, Andre, Cate and Luke were lucky if they could catch a glimpse of the shifter outside of their dorm or Brink’s office, much less have an actual sit down conversation.

The trio had been lucky enough to catch Jordan unawares as they had been crossing the quad on their way through campus. They had quickly joined the unsuspecting supe at their table, hoping to entice them to spend a little time socializing, to no effect it seemed. 

“Dude! Are you even listening?” Andre carried on with an air of frustration.

“Mhmm.” Once again came the lackluster response, as Jordan still wouldn’t look up from the screen.

Andre glanced at the other two occupants of the table for help, as Luke decided to toss his hat in the ring.

“Say Jordan, I was thinking, how about you and I take some time to spar today. Feels like I haven’t had an actual challenge for some time now.”

Jordan, ever the competitive overachiever, usually jumped at any chance to prove themself, especially against Godolkin’s own #1 ranked student. Luke had been sure to throw in some subtle ego stroking at the end too. He was sure it would be a guaranteed hit, until..

“Sorry, dude. Really busy. Maybe another time.” Once again, Jordan never glanced up from the screen even once.

Incredulous, he and Andre exchanged a look before turning to Cate who just rolled her eyes.

“Don’t bother guys. You know how they get around this time. I don’t think even a meteor could get their attention now.” She giggled.

As she continued to glance across the quad, Cate’s eyes suddenly widened as if she’d caught sight of a miracle. 

“Oh! Hey Marie!”

Immediately, Jordan’s head snapped up almost unconsciously. They watched as the infamous freshman made her way towards their table. 

Marie looked pretty as always, with her locs flowing freely down her back, her big doe eyes and her signature red lip. However, as she got closer, Jordan noted that she wore a tired smile and her eyes almost seemed to squint away from the sunlight.

Jordan had spent a lot of time observing Marie as of late. Initially rejecting her from Brink’s intro to crimefighting, the ever tenacious freshman was able to make a name for herself after seriously saving Andre’s ass during a stupid incident at a seven tower party that she had attended with their group.

She had finally been able to convince Brink to let her take the course, and after a few weeks of frosty silence, had actually started to warm up to Jordan once they had mustered the courage to offer a proper apology. Now one of the most diligent students in the class, they often spent hours together working side by side during Jordan’s office hours.

Jordan had grown to really enjoy her company, as well as a massive amount of respect for her work ethic. If their heart seemed to beat a little bit faster, when she would lean into their space to ask a question, or when she would hit them with one of her big, blinding smiles every time they praised her work, well that’s something they could investigate whenever they got to it.

Marie having finally reached the table, Cate was the first to call out.

“Marie, are you okay? You look totally out of it!”

“Ha.” Marie gave an awkward laugh, as she waved away the concern. “No biggie, just this headache’s been bothering me all morning.”

Andre opened his mouth, as if to offer some commiseration. But before he could speak, another voice cut in swiftly.

“Did you get enough sleep last night?”

Turning to Jordan, Marie offered an answer just as swiftly. “Yeah. No less than usual. I’m not sure if that’s the issue.”

Looking pensive, Jordan glanced down for a second before looking back up at Marie. “When’s the last time you drank any water?”

“I-” Marie paused to think about it before staring at the ground sheepishly. “Probably yesterday afternoon.”

“There it is! I told you, you never drink enough water! Didn’t I say it would come back to bite you?” Jordan now had a smug look on their face. Looking livelier than they had all day. 

“Whatever, Jordan. I’m glad my pain is amusing to you.” Marie said, rolling her eyes fondly.

The other forgotten inhabitants of the table watched the exchange with slight surprise and bemusement.

“Here you go.” Jordan said, pulling a plastic water bottle out of their bag. They handed it to Marie, who received it nervously.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take your only bottle.”

“It’s fine Marie.” Was the glib reply. “Unlike you, I actually remember to keep myself hydrated. And I have more in the office.” Jordan continued to rummage through their bag.

“And here.” They handed her a protein bar. “If you went this long without water, I’m assuming you skipped breakfast too.”

Marie received the snack gratefully. 

“Thanks Jordan!” She mumbled, almost nervously. “You’re actually the best.”

She bent down to give Jordan a brief hug, which was unexpected going by the surprise on Jordan’s face, before waving goodbye to the rest of the table and heading off.

Desperately trying to tamp down the blush on their face, Jordan slowly zipped up their bag and slid it underneath the table. Looking up, they were shocked to see the amused faces of their three friends, looking like they were barely holding in a laugh.

“...what?” They asked hesitantly

“Nothing.” Cate replied, obvious laughter in her voice. “Just making some observations.”

“Whatever.” Jordan replied, looking back at the words on their laptop screen. For some reason, they were no longer as inclined to lose themselves in the flow of grading and reviewing essays. Thoughts of Marie, the warmth of her body when she’d embraced them, the vanilla scent of her skin, swirled around in their head.

“What the fuck?! They're still smiling!” They could hear Andre poorly attempting to whisper across the table. And with some measure of satisfaction, Jordan realized that they were.

#gen v #jordan li #fanfic #jordan x marie #marie moreau #limoreau #gen v fics #Sorry if this sucks lol #Jordan being a tsundere

[spymaster-and-socialite]

Best and worst motivations for both Peggy and Andre. And what you think their best and worst qualities are and why?

(oooh these are both such good questions, thank you!!

i think andre and peggy's best and worst motivations are the exact opposite of each other. andre is at his best when he does things for other people, and at his worst when he's selfish - but peggy is actually at her best when she puts herself first, and makes some of her worst decisions when she forgets to do that and prioritizes other people. neither andre nor peggy are fundamentally selfish or selfless, but andre is better to himself when he's caring about other people, and peggy is better to other people when she cares about herself.

i think andre's worst quality is his tendency toward downward spirals, aka, as soon as he makes one mistake or one thing starts going wrong for him, he freaks out and makes the problem a hundred times worse. andre could have fixed his mistake of leaving peggy in philadelphia with arnold when he first realized he messed up at the end of season 2!! but instead he gets paralyzed by regret and doubt, treats peggy's situation like it's already a lost cause and lets it keep getting worse, AND lets his ~emotional crisis~ drive him to mess around with philomena. i really don't think andre is a bad person or driven by bad motives in season 3 (he's still the same person underneath all the fuckups) but watching him is like holy shit dude, get a grip! he doesn't know how to handle setbacks (likely because up until this point, he's gotten through life pretty easily) and it's a huge problem.

i think peggy's worst qualities are her overconfidence and entitlement, especially in season 2. i think a lot of people misread peggy as naive, but to me, she's not naive at all. at no point was peggy being 'manipulated' by andre - she knew exactly what he was asking of her, and i think it does her character (as well as his) a disservice to assume she was 'blinded by her love for him' and fell for his tricks or whatever lol. peggy knew exactly what she signed up for, BUT her issue is that she signed up to turn arnold because she assumed, without a doubt, that it would WORK. peggy has lived her entire life being told constantly how beautiful she is, having guys fall all over themselves for her and being able to just wave away any suitor she doesn't feel like entertaining... and she is very confident in her own beauty and worth, so she of course feels entitled to these things! obviously andre is at fault here too for also vastly underestimating how pressuring arnold ends up being, but he had never even met him in person. but peggy meets arnold, sees exactly how he is, and decides to forge ahead with the plan anyway. she can't concede failure, especially social failure, and this is how she gets herself in too deep.)

#about peggy #about john andre #social diary #classified information #(ooc)

[roccinan]

Don Juan attacking Rafael warms my heart uwu <33 I knew he wouldn't disappoint!!! You're so right, at least Casanova is a worthy rival, but Rafael? ?? Also Tatiana leaving Andrés for human!DonJuan would have been the superior version of the Copenhagen heist, idk, Andrés hires this guy, who looks just like Martín, and Tatiana cheating on Andrés with him would have been funny, and would have confused half the viewers.

Thank you anon uwu I'm glad Don Juan attacking Rafael will live on in our hearts uwu

Exactl! Casanova is 1) handsome 2) cat 3) charming. And Rafael is none of those things! asdfasdf OMG ANON YOUR MIND, imagine if Andres- so deep in denial that his brain is now on fire- goes out of his way to hire a dude who's just literally Martin with a different sexuality and eye color. And then Tatiana leaves him for Juan, AKA Martin 2.0.

It would have been the funniest thing adfasdf and 100% the superior version of the Copenhagen heist!

#anonymous #it's what Don Juan deserves!

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

#cat speaks #cat spoils #character ranking #okay fr tho dont ever ask me for anything ever again #take your complaints to your dashboard button and off my blog #idc if you dont like my ranks #theyre not for you #heck off

[consumeconstantly]

If at first you don’t succeed... just live with your mistake

“My mommy’s the Style Queen.”

“Well my mommy’s an Italian Ambassador.”

Chloe scoffs. “So? My dad is the Mayor of Paris.”

AKA Chloe and Lila have a dick measuring contest.

______________________________________________________________

“This is your fault, Audrey! She acts exactly like you when you’re jet lagged and caffeine deprived. She definitely got it from you.”

“Excuse me?” Audrey delicately slams her iced mocha down on the imported Rosewood table. “She got it from me? I’m not the one whose name Chloe has dropped in every one of her little school fights.”

“I just don’t understand.” Gianna Rossi nurses her head in her hand. The whiskey  that was delivered to her didn’t have the opportunity for water to condense on the sides, so the table remains free of stains. “How did Lila end up this way? I’ve always tried to lead by example, and I spend as much time with her as I can!”

Audrey pats Gianna’s forearm with a gloved hand. “Maybe it’s just teenage rebellion, darling.”

“I wish,” Gianna says, glumly. “Do you think it’s because she grew up without one of her parents?”

“Nonsense,” Andre waves his hand, still wearing the pretentious ribbon that proclaims he is the mayor of Paris. “Chloe grew up with a mother, and she turned out exactly the same way.”

He mutters more quietly, “Though a mother that was gone so often she might as well not have even been there.”

Audrey smacks Andre on the arm. “You know very well that you were gone more often when she was a baby. We agreed that we would rotate focusing on our careers every few years.”

“Yes, honey, but I’ve been on Chloe duty for the past eight years. You only took care of her when she was a toddler.”

“Who was the one who had to change diapers Andre? The one who woke up at 3 AM to feed her? The one who taught her the goddamn alphabet? Tell me that, Andre, tell me that.”

Gianna motions for another drink to be brought over by the butler that Andre and Audrey employ. Audrey holds up a hand and shakes her head. “Don’t do it, Gianna. It’s almost 4:30. School is going to get out soon.”

Pressing her head up against the lacquered wood, Gianna sighs. “All the more reason for me to drink.”

“You don’t want to be inebriated when you have to deal with Lila, do you?”

“I do,” Gianna wails. “I have to be! Do you know that Lila makes me drink more than my job does? And I’m the one who has to file all of those awful akuma attacks that always end up targeting Italian tourists because some people are still not over what we did in World War II!”

“Italy did do a lot of awful things back then,” Andre mutters.

“Shut it! Whether it’s right or wrong, one akuma attack out of every twenty five deals specifically with the prejudice against Italy. Italian tourists get caught up in seven attacks out ten. I’ve had to issue so many incident reports that I think I’m going to get carpal tunnel soon.”

“I can’t believe you have the statistics on those.”

Gianna’s voice shoots up two octaves. “You’re the mayor of Paris. Shouldn’t you be keeping track of statistics like these?”

“Ah,” Andre laughs awkwardly. “Of course I am. But back on topic. Who do you think it’s going to be this time? Chloe or Lila?”

A moment of silence. Then, in tandem, all three of their phones buzz.

“You just had to jinx it, didn’t you, Andre?” Audrey pulls out a pocket mirror, reapplies her lipstick, then stands. “Let’s go see what our girls did this time, non?”

Placing her sunglasses over her eyes, Audrey continues, “A hundred euros that the Dupain-Cheng girl will be one of their targets.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, honey. That girl has too much of a spine for either of them to get her involved.”

Gianna sobs for the umpteenth time that afternoon. “If Lila was just a little bit more like Marinette, so many of my problems would be relieved! Do you think if I pay her enough, she’ll be friends with my daughter?”

Audrey and Andre exchange glasses. Andre shakes his head. “Friendship won’t work. We tried to get our Chloe to play with Adrien. He’s still as well-mannered as ever, but Chloe… In any case, I’ll raise your hundred euro bet to one fifty and say that Sabrina will be involved.”

“That’s no fun,” Audrey complains. “You always take the obvious bets.”

The three parents make their way to Andre’s limo. Gianna may or may not take two shots of vodka on her way there.

#

“Chloekins!” Andre stretches his arms out to his daughter. His bad knee pops twice as he gets down to kneel.

“I don’t know why he insists on playing good cop bad cop when it hasn’t worked once in the past five years,” Audrey says to Gianna. 

“At least you have a significant other to make that work. I have to be the good cop and the bad cop, all in one person, and it hasn’t worked ever. Maybe I should try looking for other single parents. Adrien’s father is single, right? And Adrien is such a sweetheart. Maybe I should try--”

Audrey waves her clutch slightly in the air to cut her off. “Trust me when I say that is an awful idea. Not only does the man still believe Emilie is alive, but he also keeps an obscene amount of iconography of her in his bedroom in his manor. And even if he somehow gets over Emilie, wish isn’t going to happen anytime soon, that snake, Nathalie, has been waiting in the wings even before Adrien was born.”

Gianna’s shoulders slump. “I thought ‘the good ones are all taken’ is only a phrase that’s supposed to be used by students.”

“Daddy!” Chloe stomped her foot. “I demand that you deport this-- this miscreant from Paris at once!”

“Daddy’s so proud of you for learning a new big word.” Andre continues to fawn over his daughter while Chloe and Lila’s classmates look on disgustedly at the dual display of affection and undermining Chloe’s intelligence. Nino lets out something that sounds suspiciously like, “Sick burn, dude.”

“Daddy!” Chloe’s voice gets even higher, and Audrey counts at least five of Chloe’s classmates cover their ears and wince. Andre glances back at Audrey, clearly expecting her to come in and lay down the law. Audrey doesn’t even bother raising an eyebrow in disbelief, She just stays completely still until her husband gets the point and turns back to their daughter, shoulders slumped.

“Sweetheart, we can’t just deport Lila for no reason,” Andre tries to placate Chloe, unsuccessfully. Somehow, the classmates and the teacher have gotten a hold of popcorn, and are now sharing it amongst themselves. 

“I told you. It’s not for no reason. It’s because she’s a miscreant!”

Andre falters. He’s always given into Chloe’s demands, and Audrey has always been the one to fix things after. He gives in. “Okay, sweetheart. Then we can--”

“Hold on.” Gianna steps in between Andre and Chloe. Audrey smells alcohol coming from her mouth. Gianna’s cheeks are slightly pink. Audrey, herself, doesn’t believe in midday drinking, or really, drinking at all-- she thinks that it ruins skin and that inebriated people simply aren’t attractive-- but perhaps if Audrey wasn’t so involved in the fashion world, she’d be a little more similar to Mme. Rossi. “How about we hear both sides of the story before deciding what needs to be done?”

Lila and Chloe lock eyes, then immediately turn away with each other, crossing their arms at the exact same time. If Audrey didn’t remember every detail of Chloe’s birth because it was so painful, she’d be inclined to believe that the two girls were twins, or siblings at the very least. They’re just too similar in their mannerisms to believe that they’re completely unrelated.

Fluttering her eyelashes and playing up the image of a false saint that precisely nobody in the school believes anymore, Lila, looks at Andre and Gianna through watery eyes. “Chloe was bullying people! I simply had to intervene.”

“That’s not true! She was the one who started it!”

Gianna sighs. If she were any less of a woman, she would immediately buckle to the ground. But she’s been dealing with the Italian-Parisian politics, which are often fraught with tension, for nearly three decades, and with one Lila Rossi for thirteen years. “Why don’t we hear from an impartial third party?”

The three parents turn on the rest of the classroom. Sometime during the chaos, Caline Bustier fainted, and was promptly escorted to the nurse’s office by Mylene and Ivan. No matter. Caline isn’t the most… impartial or intelligent person they have to choose from. Audrey does feel slightly responsible for her lack of intelligence, as Chloe beaned Caline in the head with objects of various size and weight throughout Ecole, which is why the woman isn’t out of a job. 

“Marinette and Adrien. Why don’t the two of you tell us what happened?” Audrey points at the two teens that are whispering to each other. They certainly have an interesting dynamic. If Marinette was taller, she’d love to have the two of them model for some of her shoots, together. No matter. She still has time to grow, and she has it on good word that Sabine is doing all she can to make sure her daughter grows to at least Tom’s height.

Chloe gasps. “You remember Maritrash’s name, but not mine?”

Beneath her sunglasses, Audrey rolls her eyes. Really, she makes one attempt at the younger generation’s humor, and it backfires on her horribly. She fired the intern who recommended that joke to her, so there’s really nothing more to be done. This is why it’s just so much easier to be harsh. 

Luckily, Adrien deescalates the situation before Chloe starts on a second tangent that will likely end in tears instead of a fit of rage. Audrey wonders if she’s really that emotional when she’s jetlagged and in need of a pick-me-up. She’ll have to ask her assistant, next time.

“Well, it really started as two seprate issues at first.” Adrien rubs the back of his head and looks down at his feet. Maybe there’s a tradeoff. Indiscriminate rage in exchange for common sense. Confidence exchanged for timidity. “Chloe was… upset because she didn’t get a perfect on the last assignment Sabrina submitted for her.”

Audrey rolls her eyes again. What, there’s a reason she wears sunglasses everywhere she goes. She simply can’t deal with people’s stupidity, or when people make clearly exaggerated-- or in this case, very, very, almost criminally under exaggerated, judging by the bruises forming on Sabrina’s knees-- claims.

“And Lila was spinning another lie about Jagged Stone to Nino. Something about her being his lovechild,” Marinette finished. Now there’s a girl who has confidence, is more than confident at her craft, and is pretty. Really, the only negative things that she’s heard about the girl is that she’s sort of a clutz and rather bad at getting places on time, but both of those can be remedied. Etiquette class and a personal driver, and everything will be fixed. 

There’s also the small matter about her apparently having the capability of picking locks and hyper fixating on whatever she likes, but Audrey has been trapped by men trying to get a ransom from Andre at least four separate times, and she wouldn’t be here today if she wasn’t a bit of a daredevil of lycee. As for the hyperfixation, so long as she’s able to move onto a new area of interest in time for each new collection, Audrey sees no reason why Marinette can’t excel in the fashion world.

“Lila Rossi! You know you are not the daughter of Jagged Stone! You’re going to be grounded for two weeks!”

Marinette nudges Adrien. “Excuse me, Mme. Rossi. Why don’t we finish the whole story before issuing any punishments? There’s… more.”

Adrien is associated with that good boy next door kind of aesthetic, but he pulls off unintentionally mildly ominous like he was born to do so. 

“The short of it is that Chloe pushed Sabrina, Sabrina fell onto Lila, and that made Lila and Nino kiss. After that,” Marinette eyes Nino, who is wiping his mouth with his eighth wet wipe and being soothed by Alya with an arm on his shoulder. “Well, things kind of devolved from there.”

“You mean,” Chloe hisses. “That this wannabe pulled my hair, scratched my face, and knocked me to the ground!”

“You made me bleed!” Lila pulls her sleeve up. There aren’t actually any marks, but there aren’t any marks on Chloe, either. 

“They did roll around on the floor for a while,” Alya admits, “But both of them were so up in each other’s business that it's difficult to make out who actually landed a hit on who, if either of them did manage to hurt each other. I have the footage, but even after we watched it a few times, it really just looks like the two of them are bear hugging each other on the floor.”

“Are you guys forgetting the real victims here?” Kim half shouts. “My beautiful face!”

Alix slaps him on the back. “Don’t worry about it. If it scars, it’ll just make you look mysterious. If it doesn’t… well I can’t say that your looks were ever good to begin with.”

Sabrina shuffles her feet. She’s definitely less injured than Kim’s nail scratches, with only bruising on one arm and on both of her knees. 

“Chloe didn’t do anything bad,” she defends. “She’s perfect just the way she is!”

“That’s right, servant.”

Marinette turns to Adrien with a question in her eyes. He nods. 

She bangs her head against his shoulder.

“Sorry about that, Chloe’s voice just really grates on me sometimes. I need to knock my head in order to get the ringing to stop.”

Lila shoots a smug look at the blonde girl. “See?”

“Lila’s too,” Marinette says, then bangs her head against Adrien’s shoulder one more time for good measure. “Adrien, Alya, do either of you want to continue?”

Adrien pulls Marinette into his chest. Alya steps forwards as the Champion of the Truth. “After their catfight, Kim and Sabrina broke them up. Sabrina took Chloe, Kim took Lila. After the two of them were separated, Mlle. Bustier went to M. Damocle’s office so all three of you were contacted. Chloe tried to go at Lila again once Sabrina loosened her hold, but Marinette geupplexed her.”

“Seriously,” Marinette stares at Chloe’s completely unruffled appearance. “What kind of hairspray does Chloe even use? Her hair is made of steel.”

“Her hairspray is made from venom and spite, dude.”

The tell tale sirens of a police car approach. “Oh, by the way, did M. Damocles not tell you that the police were going to take both of them in for questioning?”

“No,” Gianna Rossi says, curling in on herself. “No, he most definitely did not.”

Chloe and Lila are led away in handcuffs while the parents stand in a group, almost numbly.

“Why are our children like this?” Gianna pulls her hair. She’s had to take off so much time from her job this month alone in order to accommodate Lila’s ridiculous behaviors.  

“Be comforted by the fact that they’re not working together. Can you imagine the kind of plans they’d think up?”

“Actually,” Alya interjects. “They have. Were you never contacted for the time they sent Marinette flying out the window?”

“WHAT?”

#original content #miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #lila rossi #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #audrey bourgeois #andre bourgeois #gianna rossi #crack #comedy #everybody is done #lila salt #chloe salt

[marciego]

sexuality headcanons for violetta?

i'm gonna assume this is about violetta the show and not violetta the character!

i always call this show "violetta and the bi boys" because 70% of the men in that show are bi and either have or had a crush on leon while the remaining 30% are raging cishets i want to punch with all my heart

so

leon, diego, andres, maxi, marco and federico: the bi boys

francesca: bi with a preference for men

ludmila: bi

naty: bi with a preference for women

camila: lesbian

broduey: straight but he can stay, the dude is a good ally

gregorio: gay king

angie: bi

violetta: and now this might be controversional in this niche side of tumblr but. BUT. i'm sorry, as a bi woman who wants all her faves to be bi, i tried, i really tried, but i can't see a single gay cell in this girl's body. the only two scenes she actually seemed wlw were all thanks to ludmila, aka si es por amor and that one time in s3 when ludmila thought vilu and fran were making out, and both happened in ludmila's head 😭 truly sorry to everyone out there who has a sapphic violetta agenda, i support you and i wish i were you but no, it pains me to no end but she's absolutely the token het of the group

#also fede probably has a pref for women #but he has at least a very tiny crush on leon #seriously there's something about this boy that makes all his friends want to touch him at all times it's hilarious

[barzzal]

Which are your favorite players? 🤗

based on skills and character (no specific order)

forwards;

sidney crosby (c): always knows what to say, a rink rat, a fucking dumptruck, and a very good captain. absolute favourite. will definitely have his number as my first nhl jersey <3 (used to not like pittsburgh but i’ve always been a clown anw i’m shameless)

mat barzal (c): my first born lmao jk both skilled and pretty, a bit clumsy, hockey/frustrated guitar player, justin bieber enthusiast, has got a whole lot of princess sofia going on. he’s my first hockey so 🤷🏻‍♀️ also d birthday boy!!!

sebastian aho (c): listen, this man can do no wrong i mean he’s so incredible esp when he gets feisty but ahhh he’s so pure i feel like he has a baby scent HAHAHA

mathieu joseph (rw): he’s fast but not barzy fast. this man is so great ig the only catch is that he plays for 🥴 hmm that’s why i haven’t seen him play a lot unlike the others listed here. i’m hoping tbl is the right team for him to like, bring the umph in his game ykwim? anw, 10000000/10 pls stan mathy jo!!!!

mikko rantanen (rw): golden retriever personality but can also do the work for the avs i mean the 92-29-96 line??? i might as well go home babe

casey cizikas (c): this dude uhm, dilf moment + he gets tanger riled up i like that most about him ;) more pls

andrei svechnikov (c): also a baby but a literal giant on ice. 10000/10 so spot on as a human being i will def buy again.

tyson jost (c): not a top player rn but HE WILL BRING HIS A GAME SOON it’s what the gods willed for this kid wait for him 😼 also seattle szn for josty??? i say why tf not josty’s already a key player so i’m confident he’ll progress more than he’s already had this szn ;)

defense;

pierre-olivier joseph: he will be big 😚 i feel like him and mathy will have that one powerful szn and istg yall won’t be ready for it. he’s one of sidney’s kids as well anw crosby pretty much fathers every kid in the team lmao (he might as well father mine JK JK JK)

ryan graves: a goddamn horse and a titan he’s actually gotten pretty good this season i love that for him (hoist the cup gravy we want to see it)

kris letang: A FUCKING HANDFUL i will stash this man in the slammer with zeeky istg let the girls fight ******

noah dobson: he’s there but not quite. i’m rooting for him either way would def want to see him grow as an islander

goalies; oh aka the loml

tristan jarry: the only player (next to sid) that makes me love the pens. yh i love the other genuine kids + geno ans tanger but tj is the only relevant goalie and the club should fucking kick the other one out the organization if u need another goal tender, just strap sid in his equipment then i’d prolly shut up

ilya sorokin: THE ONES WHO SLANDERED HIM ON HIS FIRST TWO GAMES HOW ARE YALL DOIN but like tristan, ilya is the only islander goalie that matters no i won’t change my mind. absolute god. soroking szn babey!

marc andre fleury: one word buddy, vezina.

#answered mail

[olivay-official]

Scenes from Red: The Untold Story of a Reluctant Hero

Jay is just your average college student with a secret superhero identity. The deep underground crime world knows her as Red, a sarcastic pain in the ass hero who is annoyingly good at stopping their nefarious activities despite being terrible at her job. Though not what one might typically imagine as a hero Oliver, aka Napster, gladly took up the role of her techs sidekick cleaning up the messes left in her wake. Despite how closely they work together Oliver is clueless to Red’s true identity, while Jay struggles to act normal around him in civilian form. Balancing a social life with friends with the looming threat of Suped up villains created by a mad scientist with the face of a lizard isn’t easy and Jay and Oliver definitely make it look much harder than it is.

“Would you put away your phone? This is supposed to be a tech free weekend!” Andre made a grab for Jackie’s phone. She pulled away holding it close to her chest.

“And I promise I will put it away when we get there!” She shot back.

“Why are you so big on camping Andre?” I called from the backseat.

“Dude, some of my best memories were camping with my brothers and pops. And I think that we can all do with getting out of the city for a few days.” Andre looked at all three of us pointedly.

“Really all I remember from camping was having to pee in a hole, and getting eaten alive by bugs,” I answered bitterly. I wondered absentmindedly if my blood would make a super mosquito now.

“I remember trying to go camping with my mom once, then a bear ate our food so we ended up leaving and getting breakfast at a diner,” Jackie giggled.

“I’ve never been before,” Oliver said quietly.

“Lucky you,” I muttered.

“What?!” Andre practically screeched. “Oh no you girls aren’t going to ruin this for Oliver. Oliver my boy you are about to get the full camping experience!” Andre said exuberantly. I rolled my eyes as I dug a soda out of the cooler in the backseat.

“Hey what are you doing, those are for the camping trip!” Andre said indignantly.

“Well then it’s a good thing I packed extra!” I grinned as I popped the tab of the can with an overdramatic display of defiance.

“Seriously Jay! I had everything planned! You guys have no faith in me!” Andre waved his hand in frustration.

“Are you kidding me? Do you know how much this girl eats? She could eat all four portions of food you packed for us and then some,” Jackie snorted. Oliver smiled looking around at the three of us as he relaxed into his seat. I watched him for a second, curious. He looked at ease, happy even as he looked between Andre and Jackie but behind his eyes there was an odd mix of worry and anticipation. He checked his phone several times within a few minutes as if he was waiting for something. I smiled finally realizing what he was waiting for. He was worried that Red would need him even though I had told him Red would be gone til Tuesday. His phone would lose service as soon as we started winding up some of the backroads and his connection to Red would be cut off or so he thought anyways. I wished I could tell him it would be fine but I had already told him once as Red. There was nothing more I could do here.

The rest of the car ride went by much like that. We played music belting out the classics from our high school days, we talked about old camping memories, and Jackie and I shared stories from our childhood the humor of which was completely lost on Andre and Oliver. Andre complained about Jackie and Oliver being on their phones. Oliver complained about my laying across all the backseats including the one he occupied. Jackie complained when Andre shut off her music trading it for a much more classic form of music- the CD. Many of which were burned and included songs in no particular order that only Andre recognized. We had three phone calls from Enzo on the way up who was worried he would get lost and at least two pitstops for me to pee. During the drive I had consumed three cans of soda, a bag of chips and a burrito I had picked up at a food truck. Andre complained about my eating habits and I threw wrappers at him. All in all it was a good time.

When we got to the campsite Enzo was already there, tent set up.

“Sorry we are late, someone made us stop for a burrito on the way here.” Andre glared at me.

“Damn you’re probably not hungry then,” Enzo said holding up a bag of takeout from my favorite burrito place. I swear I fell in love with him right there.

“I am always hungry,” I beamed at him.

“No you are helping us unpack first,” Andre demanded. I rolled my eyes at Andre and gave an apologetic smile to Enzo.

I followed Andre back to the car so that we could unpack all our crap. I opted for the large cooler in the back seat. It was a heavy item but with my abilities it would hardly be a problem. I had only managed to pull the container about three quarters of the way out the car when someone came up behind me, their hand brushing mine as they took the container from my grasp. The rest of the cooler came sliding out the car. His hand reached over me to grab the other handle just in time.

“Careful.” Oliver smiled at me. “This probably weighs more than you,” He chuckled. I put my hands on my hips.

“I had it,” I said confidently. Oliver smirked.

“I’m sure you did but why don’t I just carry it instead yeah? You can grab the firewood.” He smiled at me that infuriatingly adorable smile. I stared at him for a moment fixing him with a stern look before I walked over to the back of the trunk. He raised his eyebrows in anticipation. I fixed him with a glare before I dared reaching into the trunk to pull out the bags of firewood. Balancing one in each arm I started to walk back to the campsite with Oliver in tow struggling with the weight of the cooler.

“Want to trade?” I teased.

“As much as I’d love to see you carry this, I think I got it,” He said with a sardonic hint to his tone. I shrugged and kept walking at a much faster pace than he could manage with the clunky weight of the cooler. I enjoyed watching him struggle to keep up. We crossed paths with Enzo and Andre who were heading back to get the remainder of the food and supplies.

Oliver set the cooler down at the edge of the campsite with a grunt. A thin sheen of perspiration dotted his forehead. I admired the site as he rolled up the sleeves of his fitted black thermal shirt over his lean arms. He ran a hand through his dark hair letting it fall back down in shaggy disarray ends pointing in all different directions. I busied myself with arranging the uneven bags of firewood so they wouldn’t fall all the while letting myself peak up at Oliver. He really did look good in black. His deep eyes met mine, I managed a half smile before letting my eyes drop back down to the firewood, finalizing their arrangement.

I was by no means a camper. I liked having running water and actual toilets. Mostly the toilets because who the fuck enjoys squatting in a bush to go to the bathrrom completely exposed and vulnerable to attack by bear or an unhinged deer.

Growing up camping had never been a part of my childhood experiences needless to say I should be out of my element here. Thanks to my powers, however, I was a galdamn pro. A few helpful survivalist videos, and several episodes of naked and afraid later and I could probably survive out here on my own for months. I set up mine and Jackie’s tent in record time while the boys were tangled in heaps of collapsable sticks trying to find which end to start with. While they struggled Jackie and I busied ourselves with making our camping space comfortable. Just because we were camping did not mean Jackie was going to give up all the luxuries of a home. She had made me drag her mattress topper here and just about a dozen blankets and pillows on top of the sleeping bags.

“Damn that’s romantic, you aren’t trying to seduce me are you?” I asked, giving her a quick wink.

“You wish!” Jackie laughed.

“When you’re done hitting on my girlfriend would you mind helping us out here Jay?” Andre asked from under the tent’s tarp.

“I thought you were such a big camper Andre.” I rolled my eyes. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your trip by getting in the way.”

“You’re the absolute worst.”

When we finally got all set up and situated Andre began packing bags for a hike. He was determined to give us the campiest of camping experiences apparently. Andre took the lead, compass in hand, with the rest of us in tow. Enzo fell in step behind me. The trail was only big enough to walk along single file. Andre’s hiking style was hard to keep up with. Some moments without warning he would turn on a dime shifting directions and surging forward.

The final destination of the hike was a small waterfall. I had to hand it to Andre. It was a pretty picturesque spot. We sat down to have lunch but I had other plans. I was hot and sweaty from the hike and that water looked damn good. I quickly started stripping down.

“Jay! Seriously!” Andre shouted at me. I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t worry I’ll keep my panties on,” I winked at him which he did not find amusing. I dove into the water and almost immediately regretted it. The water was fucking freezing. When I broke the surface Andre was looking smugly at me.

“Cold isn’t it? You’re an idiot,” Andre said.

“Worth it!” I said through chattering teeth. I’d be damned if I’d admit I was wrong to Andre. I swam around in the water despite the cold finding myself a nice sun baked spot of water that wasn’t too terrible.

“Jackie, that’s literally snow run off,” Andre warned. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know the splash of water was Jackie joining me. We both laughed. Oliver and Enzo looked at each other finally both shrugging. They stripped down and attempted lifting Andre into the air - he was forced to strip or get his clothes wet. Finally we were all in the water and for the first time in a long time shit felt totally normal. No super villains lurked in the woods to demand my attention. There was no Red or Napster. It was just me and my friends and it was so nice to play normal even if only for a few days.

I was shivering by the time we got out of the water to dry off. Enzo stayed close to me doing his best to warm me up, offering me his jacket that he’d been smart enough to bring on the hike. While I laid out on the warm rocks trying to get my body temp back up Enzo went back to our bags to get us food. Oliver flopped out of the water and onto the rock next to me.

“I think I like camping,” He said shaking water out of his hair. I laughed.

“Please don’t tell Andre that, he’ll want us to go every week,” I said.

“Is there a reason you love torturing him?” He asked.

“I mean other than the fact that it’s so darn fun? Andre and I lived together for like a week Freshman year, there was a mixup with the dorms. Since then we have been great friends but our friendship is based on the fact that we love torturing eachother,” I said.

“You and Andre lived in a dorm together?” Oliver raised his eyebrows and laughed.

“Oh yeah I probably know more about his deep dark secrets than you do,” I said.

“And you introduced him to Jackie?” He asked.

“Yup! Really he has me to thank for his happy relationship,” I beamed. Oliver smiled at me turning back towards the waterfall. I tried to ignore the way the water glistened off his body. I turned back to the water.

“He picked a really good spot,” Oliver said.

“Yeah as much as I hate to admit it, he did a good job. Probably wanted to impress Jackie,” I said.

“Well I’d say he picked one hell of a romantic set up,” Oliver mused. I glanced over at Oliver ready to fire off a smart remark but the words died on my tongue. Oliver was already staring at me, his eyes running over the curve of my body. The sun was starting to get lower creating an orange glow that framed him like a greek god. His eyes caught mine and he cleared his throat quickly looking away. A light blush colored his cheeks. My face felt warm as I looked away.

Great, that was sufficiently awkward.

I only hoped the orange light of the sunset might hide the blush creeping across my own face.

The sound of a branch snapping caused me to straighten, muscles tensing. My eyes narrowed as I stared out into the forest searching.

“What was that?” I whispered to myself.

“Probably a deer or something,” Oliver attempted to sound nonchalant about it but I could see his body stiffen at the sound and refuse to relax.

There was a rustling in the bushes. I stood in a fighting stance. What I was planning to do if it was a bear or something I don’t know, maybe punch it in the nose. More rustling. Then everything happened in a blur. A woman emerged from the underbrush looking half crazed. Under her skin her veins flowed orange and red like molten fire. Her irises were the same glowing color, the sclera pitch black. The smell of burning hair filled the air. She looked scared out of her mind and in agonizing pain but that didn’t stop her from lunging at me like the last shrimp at a buffet.

“Help me! It burns!” She cried. The woman grabbed hold of my arms. Her touch seared my skin burning my arms. I hissed in pain rearing back and punching the woman square in the jaw. She stumbled back.

I shook out my hand cursing under my breath. Her skin burned to touch. The woman surged forward again tackling me to the ground. I cried out in both fury and pain as we hit the ground. I kicked the woman off of me and up over my head. I scrambled to my feet. The woman’s hand caught my bare ankle causing me to scream. Oliver was there, shouldering the woman into the shallowest part of the lake. Steam hissed as she his the surface. She let out a horrible screech struggling to get out of the shallow depths. I whipped around and clocked her square in the face, hard enough to knock her out, silencing her screams. She landed on the shore skin still sizzling.

“Ah Fuck!” I shouted as I shook out my hand and bounced around on one foot. Of the injuries my ankle was definitely fairing the worst. Heat and pain pulsed through the seared flesh with each heartbeat.

Everyone finally came running over to us their eyes bulging out of their head when they landed on the unconscious woman that lay at my feet. Enzo was next to me in a second wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me to him.

“What the hell just happened?!” Andre asked.

“Hell if we know. She jumped out at us from the woods,” Oliver said kneeling down next to her. Suddenly the woman’s eyes snapped open. She locked onto Oliver.

“Burning!! He promised it wouldn’t hurt! Now it burns! Please-” She grabbed Oliver’s hand. I could see the pain in his face but he didn’t pull away from her touch. “Please make it stop,” The woman begged her voice strained and hoarse. With those final words her eyes closed and her grip on Oliver’s hand relaxed. He removed his hand from hers. He held his good hand up to her mouth and shook his head.

“I think she’s gone,” He whispered. Carefully he moved her head to the side and tilted his head inspecting a single mark on her neck. Looking over his shoulder I immediately knew what it was. My hand came up to touch the invisible injection site. The one that gave me my powers…

“We better call someone. I’ll go see if I can find some service,” Andre said. Jackie clung to him not wanting him to be alone and not wanting to lose the comfort of having him near. Enzo guided me away from the body to sit on the rocks once again. He made me show him my ankle which had cooked meat hanging off of it, turns out I did not smell like barbecue. Oliver came over to us with the first aid kit cradled in his good hand. While Oliver went about treating his hand, Enzo cared for my injuries. Other than my ankle my knuckles had burn blisters splayed across them from where I hit her. My arms however were mostly unharmed.

When the authorities finally showed up it went without saying that the camping trip was officially over.

#jay #oc #original character #superhero’s #original writing #red: the untold story of a reluctant superhero #red #jay and oliver #superheros #artwork #original artwork #art and writing #New story

[magicofthepen]

Gallifrey Relisten: Lies

In the chaos of.....all of November....totally forgot I meant to relisten to this episode sooner! Which is odd because Series 2 is definitely one of the high points of Gallifrey for me (apparently listening to everything slowly collapse into the civil war is super engaging and interesting? idk Series 2 just does a lot of solid character work and storytelling and good narrative progression to the “ahhh everything is very bad” finale...and I’m not sure how to feel about this, given *gestures at the world these days*). But anyways, now for some thoughts on the series opener:

Fun fact: From the TV show alone, Romana I was my favorite. (This had something to do with her having more character growth in season 16 than season 17, since her early days on the TARDIS involve the “wait my academic success does not necessarily translate to the real world” realization and learning about worlds and people different from her own and growing from High-Achieving Student to Adventurer in her own right. Also I loved the grudgingly-working-together to actual-friends arc with her and the Doctor. I was a bit less interested in her character when she was just going around being a capable adventurer, although I did become invested in Romana II in her last episodes, as she quietly grapples with the issue of what she wants to do next in life and eventually chooses to go off on her own. Also to be fair, I appreciate the fun times of Season 17 a lot more now because Romana being happy and having a good time traveling around the universe? What a concept.) 

All this to say: me on my first listen of Gallifrey was very excited about Romana I being in this episode. And even though it’s not quite as much of a !!!!! thing for me these days (the Gallifrey audios have long since solidified Romana II as my favorite), I do love the (sort of) multi-Romana interaction that happens in this one.

Brax essentially going “yeah the education system is supposed to be shitty and take an emotional toll on you” sir.

“I am not xenophobic” — Oh yeah, this scene is Narvin at his most unlikeable. “I’m not being bigoted, I’m just trying to protect Gallifrey, the fact that I assume that people who aren’t from here inherently can’t be trusted, and also go on about how they’re too loud and disruptive and don’t belong is definitely not a bigoted worldview nope.” Yikes. Very glad he’s going to see the error of his ways. 

The Narvin and Darkel rant session does actually do a good job at explaining what’s been happening and establishing the primary conflict of the series while not feeling like it exists solely to be an info dump to catch up the listener. Like, it’s definitely a setup scene, but it is an interesting setup scene. 

“But she is my President, and it’s my job to ensure that she gets what she wants and needs, efficiently and without question. Well, too many questions anyway.” Okay this moment and Darkel and Wynter’s conversation later about Narvin’s weakness (“Loyalty. An unswerving loyalty to his office and his precious CIA. And above all, loyalty to his president.” “He despises President Romana!” “Oh yes, of course. But it’s the position, not the person, he places that trust in.”) are really setting up some key Narvin Character Theses that we’re going to see play out this series (and also that the narrative is going to push in really interesting ways later on..... “position not the person”.....just you wait....) 

Darkel and Narvin being indignant that Romana changed the law is just....hilarious in a kind of horrifying way? Oh no, the President worked with the legislative body to actually get a law passed. The horror.

“She has a temper. And a very long memory.” This is definitely about the CIA trying to overthrow her in Neverland but uhhh also it’s about Etra Prime and the Powers That Be on Gallifrey never making a serious effort to save her (at least from her perspective). 

Yeah Darkel as antagonist is a bit abrupt (not that I particularly mind, she’s a good enough “love to hate” character that her not being set up as an antagonist from Series 1 doesn’t really bother me). But yeah, not sure what was going on behind the scenes, but it doesn’t seem like in Series 1 the plan was for her to be the primary Series 2-3 antagonist.  

Darkel to Narvin: “You will let me know when you’ve decided.” Ooh yeah, this moment is quite a good setup of Narvin’s arc throughout this series — he has to decide where his loyalties truly lie. 

Wynter is really interesting as far as character dynamics go, because he breaks the whole “Romana and Leela are the youngest people in the room” vibe — and it is just really interesting to see Romana interacting with this quite young Time Lord and specifically compare/contrasting it to how she interacts with young Time Lords in the later series when she’s older and a bit more emotionally mature and has more of the “mentor figure” vibes. (There isn’t really a conclusion to this thought, it’s more of a “huh, I’m thinking about this now” thing.)

“It’s been seven weeks, Andred. It’s hardly a lifetime.” Romana: please you have not been in a cell for that long, calm down.

“I thought you two were friends.” “A president of the High Council of Gallifrey cannot allow herself the luxury of friends.” Ahhhh, where it begins!! I’m extremely weak for the arc of Romana opening herself up to friendship and love, what of it. 

Honestly, Andred’s politics have always been very confusing to me? And it probably doesn’t help that the show is all “he’s fully Andred now” but also “he lived as Torvald a long time and that’s still influencing him.” Like both of those things can be true, but it’s a bit unclear what Andred’s true priorities and motivations really are right then — and honestly, it just comes off like his primarily desire is to be useful to someone, and be granted some form of autonomy/power/respect in return (aka he doesn’t have any real clear principles that are motivating him). Also complaining about Romana opening Gallifrey up to aliens is such a bad look dude. 

Romana to Andred: “I control your future. I control whether you have one.” Umm???? The foreshadowing?????

Andred, no. Andred, the free time pun was too much.

“I wish I had databanks. With a flick of a switch I could turn myself off, become unaware of all that has happened.” Leela ahhhhhhhhhh. (The desire to give Leela all the hugs and emotional support is very very high throughout these next couple seasons especially.....her mental health is in such a rough place ahhhh.) 

Andred regenerated “nearly six months ago” and it’s been six and a half (or seven, depending on which character is speaking) weeks since A Blind Eye, which took place an unspecified amount of time after The Inquiry, which took place two weeks after Square One...(don’t mind me, just taking some notes on the timeline math...) 

I believe a couple times in the Gallifrey audios, they reference the position of “Vice President,” which is very weird because that doesn’t seem to be a position that exists?? Chancellor is definitely seen as the #2 spot?? Idk what’s going on here. 

“You are appreciated, highly regarded, and were I to lose you I would be...disappointed.” Romana, you started strong and then you got a bit emotionally repressed there. 

“Torvald was a fool, but he was my fool.” .....I am not saying anything.....I will not be commenting on the Narvin and Andred scene......I just.......you know. There are some fics you cannot unread. 

Romana does really trust Brax here, doesn’t she. And she really doesn’t trust easily post-Etra Prime, so this is a big deal — making it all the rougher when she (in the short term) finds out he meddled with her memories and (in the long term) has to deal with him doing things like temporarily betraying her for the greater good of protecting her while not explaining at all what’s really going on. 

Okay, yes the whole pearl-clutching about Romana changing the laws is kinda silly and horrifying in a “how dysfunctional is your society if passing one (1) law is drastic change??” way, but also the flip side of this, aka “we thought these things were entrenched as norms in our society and would not change and then here comes along one president who’s trying to undo all of these things and threaten the whole system”.....y’all that hits differently now in the month November in the year 2020. In the Gallifrey audios the context is different — they are for sure overreacting to Romana’s very mild idea of “perhaps....we could change some things about society” but the way they talk about her political changes in the episode — feels a bit too close to home!

Romana’s voice right when she sees Leela....she missed her.....

Pandora being the “first female president” is a very weird and very unnecessary bit of misogyny? Ah yes, we must specify that this ancient president of Gallifrey who was wildly power-hungry and cruel and went too far and almost ruined everything Gallifrey had built was a woman?? Why was that bit of dialogue needed?? Tbh early Gallifrey does have a problem in general with characters played by women tending to be power-hungry....which is partly down to the fact that they have so so few women in the cast in general, it’s Romana, Leela, and Villains, mostly. (The lack of women in the supporting cast in early Gallifrey is going to be an ongoing complaint.) 

“You should not be afraid of your feelings, K9.” / “Yes, thank you, if we can move on from the emotional support group session.” Pffffff

I do choose to ignore the implication that Romana returned to Gallifrey and became President because of the subconscious influence of Pandora/the Imperiatrix Imprimatur nudging her towards power. Tbh it’s simply not interesting to me to have such a pivotal character choice reduced to genetic/subconscious manipulation. Yes, Romana ended her TV run insisting she didn’t want to go back to Gallifrey (and even staying in another universe to avoid it), and yes, it creates this initial emotional dissonance suddenly jumping to stories where she’s President of Gallifrey. But I already did the headcanon work before I jumped into Big Finish to make it work for me, I didn’t need this weirdness.

Elaborating on this a bit more: There is something interesting to me about a person who left home and slowly ended up rejecting the narrow worldview she grew up with, cutting herself free from the place she was born — and then eventually choosing to return because she genuinely wanted to make that messed-up world better and believed she could. And it also creates a really interesting contrast with the Doctor: two Time Lords who came to realize that Gallifrey was pretty terrible actually, and one of them kept running away from it and rejecting Time Lord society, and the other came back and said maybe I can change things. Because both are understandable and complicated reactions to have to a messed-up home world, and there are different ways of trying to do good. And regardless of how her choices turned out, I always liked the idea that it was Romana’s own choice that brought her to Gallifrey again, and I don’t think Pandora needed to be shoehorned in to explain her actions.  

Okay, I want to hear the follow up where Leela insists Romana tell the whole Key to Time story after hearing all of these random out of context bits and pieces. 

Why does Brax admit to breaking the Laws of Time? The fact that he’s in contact with his past/future selves isn’t actually relevant to what he needs to tell Narvin? He literally could have just said that he hypnotized Romana, without mentioning that it was his future self who did it? (Also, it’s implied in this one that he pushes for Romana to use the mind wipe on Narvin because he wants the memory of that reveal erased, but somehow that’s the one thing that Narvin keeps because he uses that information against Brax later? Aka: how did Narvin remember that Brax told him this?)  

And final thought: general internal monologue during this episode is just: Pandora arc Pandora arc Pandora arc here we go!! Because the Lies through Warfare run is really one of the more interesting bits of Gallifrey for me (Imperiatrix specifically ranks very high on my favorite episodes list), and I’m excited to be re-listening to/thinking about/hearing other people talk about these episodes!

Next Episode Reaction: Spirit

Previous Episode Reaction: A Blind Eye

#gallifrey audios #romana #leela #narvin #irving braxiatel #going to listen to the pod of rassilon episode on a long car ride tomorrow (well. today at this point) so very excited for that! #ramblings #emily listens to big finish #the relisten of rassilon

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

#Grace spills tea #grace speaks #poto 2004 #phantom of the opera musical #phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #Phantom of the opera 2004 #movie review #my reviews

[roccinan]

Hermano👀👀👀 (hopeful for new snippets)

I knew I could rely on you for that #hermanos support ;) Public shaming time asdfasdf I don't have any new snippets, but I do have more or less the whole plot of "Hermano" sketched out in my head. (Lots of spoilers below the cut!)

[ 👉 My Wips ]

It takes place directly after Hermanito AKA when Andres left the hospital 5 min. after waking up. dumbass. So we follow him and Sergio home, and Andres legit tries to act like nothing happened (the vibe: "dear diary, all the fancy restaurants are booked for Christmas parties. Maybe I could take Sergio on a ski trip. It's very hard to find gold-laced wrapping paper in this economy. If I can't find solid gold tissue paper, silver is fine too. I think Sergio would enjoy the imported chocolate I ordered for the holidays--" then in the margins, he goes, "oh yeah, we almost died the other night and I was in a coma for a week but who cares? anyway, presents-")

Andres and Sergio have completely different priorities. Which will be a Project for me because Hermano is from Andres' pov and his brain is something else. Anyway, while Andres is limping around and subconsciously projecting secret childhood trauma onto his preparations for the Perfect Christmas TM with Hermanito, Sergio's like, "hmm you don't look so well, Andres"

Eventually, Andres realizes Sergio's right because his insides shouldn't feel that way and coughing up blood isn't normal. They go to some underground street surgeon to patch him up. And Andres' delusions take a hit x1 when the guy suggests that Sergio's going to grow up to be as fucked up as him if Andres keeps raising him. (btw, no painkillers or anesthetic involved because the dude couldn't afford it LMAO- he'll be like "go buy some ibuprofen after this. I'm gonna start cutting into you now-")

Andres' delusions take a hit x2 when another of the thugs from the last story tracks him down to his shitty apartment like a day after the surgery. Andres manages to kill the guy, but not before almost dying (again). Sergio, unprompted, cleans up the blood and tells Andres how they should get rid of the body. Hit x3. Now Andres realizes maybe his idea of a perfect little life with Sergio isn't so great after all because 1) this is the second time he "failed" to protect his brother 2) maybe he's a terrible influence on Sergio after all 3) his shitty lifestyle just isn't suited for children.

But they spend Christmas together anyway, and it's the best one Andres has ever had even though they didn't get to do anything fancy.

Which is why hit x4 absolutely destroys him. Sergio falls ill again and Andres rushes him to the actual hospital (not the shady surgeon), the one he first met Sergio in. The doctor pretty much guesses Andres' entire life story at first glance and politely tells him, "hmm, I think you're a worthless nobody who's going to die from some fight on the streets. I'm disgusted by your presence already. But your little brother on the other hand, now, that's a young man with a future, if he lives lmao which he won't with you. no offense."

Since Andres has spent his entire life not listening to other people's words and building up his own delusional world, that speech shouldn't affect him. But it does because now it's not about him. It's about Sergio, the one person Andres ever cared about to this extent and the one person that truly, actually loves him back.

So Andres arranges for Sergio to be adopted by a family in Barcelona. Then he tells Sergio he doesn't want him anymore and tries to abandon him at the train station. Sergio, kid genius TM, sees right through him and doesn't get on the train. He and Andres make a really big scene there and cry a lot. Sergio makes it super clear that he's not going to Barcelona and that he wants to stay with Andres. He knows Andres doesn't think it's the best choice, he knows it's not the smartest choice, but it's what he wants. Andres didn't leave him when he had no one, so he's not going to leave Andres when it's the other way around.

The fic ends with the hermanos visiting papa Marquina's grave and Sergio teaching Andres the lyrics to bella ciao (this should have been the ending to Hermanito but I got tired adfadsf). Then Andres makes plans to take Sergio to Russia for experimental treatment, as per Alvaro's headcanons.

That's the outline in my head! Hopefully what I write will look the same LMAO and I'm hoping to publish in winter. It's up to fate!

Other things that happen:

Andres remembers that time he starred in a porno, felt it was beneath his dignity, and lost all the clothes he was wearing because they were bought by someone else. This led to him hiding out in a McDonalds bathroom, butt-naked at 2am and looking for chicken nuggets in the trash. Then the janitor tried to kick him out and Andres beat him up and stole his clothes. He considers this the lowest point of his life

Sergio gives Andres a little gift for Christmas, and Andres is surprise pikachu face

A mini-snippet that I hope to include (between the unlicensed surgeon and Andres):

"Take this."

Jose shoved a pair of earplugs into his hands. Andres quirked a brow. "Why would I need these?"

The older man laughed, a nasally trill of sounds that Andres did not appreciate. "They're not for you. They're for the kid-"

Jose grinned. "Because you're going to scream like a bitch."

Snippet from last time:

Occasionally, he would have a moment of clarity. He could step back then and see himself, not as Andres, but as he was. And he’d traded enough counterfeit art to know the difference between artifice and truth. This was a truth he’d always known, as universal as the rules of anatomy and color: Andres belonged on the pages of a sketchbook, lines of charcoal scribbled in haste and set to practice.

He was a replica of that sketch, counterfeit, a scribble made to tear out and scratch.

But Sergio? Sergio was the real deal. Sergio was the painting itself, the portrait that came from the work of countless sketches.

“You don’t have many prospects. How long do you think you can keep this up?”

“You can die on the street and nobody’d give a flying fuck.”

“You brother isn’t like you. He has a future.”

Andres looked back to the blood in his sink, the red on his knuckles, and the gashes peppering his face in the mirror. Jorge’s damned words surfaced in his head, as did the physician’s and the most accursed voice of them all: his own. They were right, he realized with a sharp- unfamiliar- ache, he could not keep this up. The dust from his charcoal had no right dirtying the gloss of Sergio’s paint. The portrait could never thrive beneath the counterfeit.

He made his choice. And he should never have fancied another option.

#nharidy #thanks for the ask! #wip meme #I had a year and a half to plan this story LMAO #all I have to do is actually Write it asdfasdfsadf #but maybe it's for the best #december or november might be the best time to post it idk #maybe there'll be a new year's scene too #where they watch fireworks from the shitty apartment #and of course #'amigo' returns to sergio's pov at age 17/18 #where he's back in spain and meeting *Gasp* his brother's new best friend: Martin Berrote

[penny-nichols]

Ok these are based off the ALW musical

Andre and other manager dude who's name I want to spell "Fireman": Judge and judges brother

Christine: Apollo (instead of opera singing its just screaming)

Raoul: klavier for dat sweet sweet klapollo

Erik (AKA THE PHANTOM): Kristoph (?). I mean... no romantic attraction to Apollo but like... plot wise he fills that role the best especially with...

Madame Giry: Phoenix. And of course that makes

Meg: Trucy

Piangi: maybe daryan? I don't really know.

Carlotta: ????????????????? Car-lotta HART?!!?!??!???!!

Bouquets or buckets or however tf you spell his name: I don't even know

[ayyoparayko]

My Thoughts on Goalies

These are my personal thoughts and it’s a long piece so I put it under the read more.

So this came up in the GC tonight and I have some opinions that were too long for the GC. This are the lists for who the NHL Network and NHL Network fans chose as Top 10 Goalies in the League Right Now. However, I’m looking at this from a track record view and this most recent season view. Also I’m going to go in the order of the NHL Network list rather than the Fans list.

 Andrei Vasilevskiy. I personally believe he is for sure within the Top 3. I would say number 2 but it could be argued for number 3 as well. However, I don’t think he is #1 because I think a decent portion of his numbers come from the fact that these past few years he has had one of the top defensive cores in front of him.

Sergei Bobrovsky. I love Bob don’t give me wrong (I actually still have and wear my Bobrovsky shirt from when I saw him play in 2014) however, he is definitely not number 2. Bob is a hit or miss guy, and that was well known in Columbus. He can either be Top 3 in the league or run in the middle of the pack. It also depends on his defensive core because if it’s lacking then he’s not the type that can pull out a miracle. I would put him around the 6-7 range.

Ben Bishop. Now I’m not a Stars fan (I’m a Blues fan first and foremost, a Knights fan after that). However, as much as this pains me to say this (and you’re freaking welcome Reed) Bishop should be #1. I know, I know this is going against everything in me as a Blues fan. However, he posted a .934 last regular season and has a career of .921. The guy is good but his will come down to how well will his defensive core play because he’s been holding teams on his back for years. (I mean it is a pretty tall back so...)

Carey Price. Now this will get me a lot of hate. I think Price is overrated. I love the guy and I definitely think he’s a good goaltender but his numbers are dependent on if he’s having an ON year or an OFF year and how his defensive core plays in front of him. I think he’s top 10 for sure but I’d put him in the bottom 5.

Tuukka Rask. Again as  Blues fan this pains me so freaking much. I think Rask is in the appropriate spot or near it. His numbers this past season were average at best but his track record is really good. He’s a lot like Price, if he’s ON then he is top 5 if he’s OFF then he’s bottom 5. I just find that he plays a little more consistent.

Marc-Andre Fleury. Again my #2 team is the Knights and yes the GC is going to kill me for this. I love Flower with my whole heart and he was one of three players I was a fan of in the back to back cups (Olli Maatta and Chris Kunitz were the other two). However, Flower is getting old and as much as this pains me he wasn’t the greatest this past season. His numbers (with the exception of 15-16 and 17-18) have been on a decline. I think he has the potential to be Top 4 but I worry that age is going to win this race.

Braden Holtby. I love this dude and I’m saying that as someone who would put the Capitals in their Top 5 Least Favorite Teams. As a human being Holtby might be one of my favorites throughout the entire league. Goaltender wise he’s run of the mill. His numbers compared to the ones listed above state that he should be below them but his numbers also show that he should be below a couple guys below him. I think what’s helping him is the offensive core that the Caps have had and their defensive core is definitely Top 15 in the league. It will honestly depend on how his team plays.

Jordan Binnington. I don’t like the guy on a personal level, even if he is a member of my #1 team.  With that being said, I don’t agree with him being on this list (as well as a fan pick that I will talk about later). His numbers were unbelievable this past season. However, those numbers are the only one’s he has. As such we don’t know if it was a fluke occurrence or if he’s actually that great of a goaltender. Unlike a lot of the guys on this list he came into the NHL as a “regular” later in age (26). So he’s legit in his prime currently. So we shall see on this one.

Pekka Rinne. I find it interesting that Rinne is number 9 on this list but Price is number 4 and Flower is number 6.  I think that’s down to the fact that Rinne is the oldest guy on this list (beating second oldest Flower by 2 years and Price by 4). His numbers are nearly equivalent to Price (one game less played) when it comes to save percentage but he has won 20 more regular season games than Price has. I would put him around this spot as well though if only because of the age factor.

John Gibson. Now this is the guy that I definitely think is in the wrong spot on the list. I don’t care for the Ducks but I would definitely say Gibson deserves a Top 5 at minimum but in my opinion a Top 3 Spot. He’s 26 and has numbers that put him above Rask. I honestly think if given a good skating group in front of him he could definitely be a good portion of conversation this year.

Carter Hart. Now this is a fan pick and was not on the NHL Network list. I’m going with a lot of Flyers fans were a part of this group that chose him. He’s played 31 career games (all this past season) and out of him and all the others on the NHLN list he is definitely at the bottom. Like Binnington, he hasn’t played enough in the NHL for us to truly get an understanding of how he compares to others in this list. With that said I think for his age, he is the goaltender to watch out for in the future. He is definitely going to be a top goaltender in the league in I’d say the next 5 years, but right now he’s just not experienced enough to be.

Now onto my honorable mentions. Goaltenders I think should have been put on this list but were left out (due to Binnington and Hart imo).

Robin Lehner. Okay Hawks you’ve got yourself a damn good netminder, and if you screw him with a crap defense I’ll be pissed. (Honestly outside his numbers I know nothing about him as a person or a player). His numbers from last season were second to Ben Bishop in equivalent games played. Career wise he’s on par with all the others. If given a good defense in front of him I think a lot of people will be shocked (though why I don’t know given his numbers) with him and I think he might just carry the Hawks to another playoffs.

Philip Grubauer. He’s on par with the guys on the list and honestly I think he and the Avalanche are going to surprise a lot of people this season. I definitely think he’s one to watch out for.

Jack Campbell. This is my FU to those who picked Carter Hart. I’m sorry but if we are going with a guy who has played about the same amount of NHL games as Hart and Binnington (aka less than 40 career regular season games). Then this guy should be on the list. He’s only one year older than Binnington and his numbers are about equal to Binnington and much higher than Hart’s. I think his downfall will be how old the Kings are and how below average the team in general has become.

#hockey hockey hockey #nhl #nhl network

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

ello! Love your art! Just wanted to share a random thought. Ya know how in Rayman 2/Origins/Legends, the crew casually hangs out with the god that created their world? But in Ray 3 the Knaaren have to do a whole thing with their king, a scepter & a giant temple of worship just to give Rayman a gift from Leptus? Meanwhile all Reflux did was steal said scepter, ask Leptus to give him his power, and he did! If Ray and the crew ever met Leptus, they'd be like "WTF dude?! Reflux & Andre were evil!"

hi, and thanks first of all! :D 

and well, to be fair,,,it’s not like the leptys gave its power to reflux, it was more of a ‘i got this sceptre and now IM the boss!!!!!give me ur power @god” 

reflux took something he couldn’t and got rightfully (?) punished for it - aka, chrystallizing after overusing a power he couldnt control and shatter into pieces.

plus theres the fact that well,,, ray had to go through hell and back quite literally to wake his grandpa the FUCK up, he and the glade deserved to at least hang with the old guy every now and then :°>

#gio replies #Anonymous

[mpdgmustdie]

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

I got tagged by @tousleheadedpoet. Thank you!

Nickname: Mpd, or just M

Zodiac: Scorpio, but I’ve never felt like that fit me, so...

Height: 5′4″

Last Movie I Saw: The Battle of Five Armies (aka a bunch of angry white dudes stabbing each other for 3 hours while Legolas gracefully tramples the laws of physics beneath his feet)

Last Thing I Googled: The definition of the word ‘ziggurat’, because I’d had the word stuck in my head all day (a ziggurat is an ancient Mesopotamian building, if anyone was curious)

Favorite Musician: Hozier, currently. The whole ‘I want to sleep in a hole and let moss grow all over me’ thing is just a Huge Mood

Song Stuck In My Head: Ghosts in Empty Houses, by Jukebox the Ghost

Other Blogs? Yep. The one-hit wonder, @marvelbirds, and my fandom side blog @stillbitteraboutnynaevesbraid. If anyone was following me for cosmere or wheel of time stuff, it’s all been moved over there. And then there’s my main blog, full of memes and other things I think are neat.

Do I Get Asks? Nope, but I’d love to get them! Y’all seem pretty cool. :)

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Amount of Sleep: like 6 hours. I want to go home and rethink my life.

Lucky Number: Anything but 11.

Dream Job: Being a historian would be fun, or writer, if I could ever get past the first three pages without wanting to light them on fire

What I’m Wearing: a tank top and some embroidered sweatpants

Favorite Food: Pasta and bread.

Can I Play an Instrument: Well. I can play Mr. Brightside and Nearer My God To Thee on the piano, so I’m basically set for life. I’m passable on the clarinet, but I sound like the average sixth grader on the flute. I was pretty good at the ocarina at one point, but I haven’t practiced in a couple years.

Languages: English is my first language; I can read a little Spanish and a little less of French. I get the two confused when I speak, much to the annoyance of my French teacher

Favorite Songs:

Would That I -Hozier

Everglow -Coldplay (the Belasco theater version, not the recorded one)

Shot at the Night -The Killers

Homeward Bound -folk song

And the Waltz Goes On -Andre Rieu/Anthony Hopkins

Landscape- Florence and the Machine

Random Fact: Julie d’Aubigny existed and I love her. (Seriously, look her up; you won’t regret it.)

Describe Yourself as Aesthetic Things: golden afternoons, long novels, comfort food, laughing at dumb jokes, googling every question you've ever had, braided hair, flowing shirts, moss and vines, trying to be kind, wanting to go on an adventure

I always feel awkward and presumptuous when I tag people, so if anyone wants to do this, please feel free to and tag me in it if you do!