#and what its like for me being asexual

[true-squid]

ok but you dont fucking get it. i love you and it doesnt mean what you think. its not heteronormative and its not nuclear and it cant be described in a way that has words. there arent words for it. its not queerplatonic. its not romantic. its not platonic. its none of those things. its incomprehensive. its unwordable. its not because youre my lover or my mother or my sibling or my friend its none of those things. you dont fucking understand. we fuck and we share our feelings and we abandom the status quo and part of the point is that we dont make sense. isnt it? isnt it?

i feel alterous. thats the best word for it because there isnt one thats better and i dont think there ever will be. its not about not wanting to be romantic or sexual its about being different. its about a new fucking category, a secret third thing, yes and no, what happens when you mix everything and nothing together.

its because i see love differently. ive recontextualized it, made myself to view it in a way that is outside of the general conception of love. i want to explain it to you but i just cant. i want to but i dont know how. you need to feel it. you need to know what its like to be alien

im aromantic and im asexual

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #poetry #squid writes #this is meant to be a poem #the “you” is just part of the poem #its not directed at anyone #ive just been thinking about this a lot #and what its like for me being asexual #i dont know where to look for people who experience asexuality the way i do #so sometimes i feel pretty alone #like an “other” #i dont think its bad to be other i just wish i could find the other others

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[sunsetcurveauto]

one thing i havent seen anyone talking about when discussing isaac is when he meets james at the bookstore and they talk abt how isaac doesnt reciprocate james' feelings. and although james has the best intentions he tells isaac that (more or less) isaac just hasnt found the right person yet. and yeah isaac doesnt have the words or terminology at that point to express how he feels being aroace but it was still such a gut punch to see an example of someone who cares for you, even someone in the queer community, still negate your orientation using a phrase that is meant to be an assurance and yet is still what so many ace and aro people have been told

#heartstopper #heartstopper spoilers #heartstopper s2 #isaac henderson #alice oseman #asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #aroace #aromantic asexual #tina talks #this is not hate! #and if im not being clear just let me know #but its what i experienced in this like. 2min moment between an allo and an aroace character #and like I said i hadnt seen it talked abt yet #so i wanted to share my observations :)

[glitterghost]

Normalize wanting to gaze at someone because they're mesmerizing. That something about them clicks in your brain that's soothing. Or calming. Appreciative in a way that isn't an "I want to fuck you" way but a "you bring me joy" kind of way.

#asexual #this happens to me where I'll see someone and just *click* there is something about them i love #idk what it is but they're this mystery of happiness that seeps into my brain #if feels weird to explain to people bc i feel like if you do it also you understand #like i know nothing about you but i want to give you all the joy i can #i want to tell you that you've made me day for no reason than being yourself who ever that is #i wont lie bc bad omens is ALSO that for me mixed with other things of course #but its more when you see someone randomly #and get pulled into their gravity and just are trying to figure out what it is #about them #maybe this makes sense or no sense at all who knows

[lesbiangiratina]

Genuinely why do people seem to feel so threatened by the concept of aromanticism

#people are still annoying about asexuality but its kind of died down to like #borderline regurgitating lol cringe special snowflake type shit #you sound like a south park character and you should be put down. but anyway #on the other hand people act like aromantics are like. fucking evil. or something #similar attitudes towards poly people. #how can you like. differ from the norm yourself but not be able to wrap your head around people differing from the norm in other ways #maybe its not an inability just an unwillingness. like. just sucking as a person. lol #sorryyyyy this is what i got mad about last night #a post calling out lesbophobia in a comment. by someone who was aromantic #the replies were sooooooooooo fucking tunnel visioned on the commenter being aromantic #sorry thats fucking insane to me as an arospec lesbian like. being aromantic wasnt the root of it? #i think maybe not being a lesbian is what leads to people being lesbophobic?? #AGAIN idgaf about the post itself the op themself said the person being aromantic was irrelevant . people were just being insane about it #the kat goes meow

[assiraphales]

Your posts are some of the highlights of my tumblr experience – I've always been focused on Luffy/Zoro but before OP:LA released it seemed kinda? Rare, almost? At least in comparison to other things. But now so many people like it too! And are writing wonderful little essays like yours! I feel understood. Personally they've always been a qpr to me (I hold Luffy's basically-canon aroace status VERY close to my heart) in the most soulmate, ride or die, married without even kissing once, forever and always with their own special kind of love no matter what anybody else thinks, kind of way. I love reading your thoughts because even if may not be in the exact same flavour as me (which I respect) I feel like you get them already. Keep having fun! The world of OP has so much in store for you!

don't say such nice things to me i'll cry :(

#asks #zolu #obvi I wasn't in the fandom before opla so I didn't experience what it was like as a zolu shipper but I had noticed a lot of older posts #wishing there was more content / definitely being a smaller ship compared to some of the bigger ones #BUT !!!! opla definitely had some massive zolu moments that I think resonated with people and I definitely saw a spark between them #but the manga and the anime has only solidified that and made me see The Vision (soulmatism) even more #and i'm so glad for you that there's more content now!!! and glad for me!!!!!! #I def see where ur coming from w ace luffy which is 1 of the reasons I made a post a while back about about asexuality & shipping culture #I think their relationship is so transcendent of physicality (not to say its wrong to see them as intimate in that way) but its so based on #their love and respect and utter devotion to each other. to wanting to spend their entire lives together. to sharing their lives 4ever!!!!! #zoro and luffy make me so ill in a way a pairing hasn't in years so i'm so glad to be able to share w u and other zolu stans #its been so fun so far ty sm (seriously) for the encouragement n kind words

[autisticlee]

it kind of sucks when all your friends and family, everyone you know, are all pairing off and getting married and havinf families, except you. you're the only one that doesn't have a partner and probably can/will never get one. especially if one around you has time for you anymore, they never reach out, never get back to you, because they're only focused on their partners and families. you're stuck alone and drift away from everyone through no fault of your own. you have no hope of finding your own partner or no motivation to look for one for whatever reason. the lack of connections while seeing everyone around you having their own can get overwhelmingly lonely at times....

#autism #autistic #asexual #aromantic #these are probably the two factors that put me in this position #im undateable because im too autistic to form any connections with people and cant even make or keep friends around for long #so how would i ever try to date anyone???? #and also asexual which makes it harder. and aromantic (not sure what kind if its like demi and i just need to meet “the one” #and form a connection first to actually have any feelimgs for anyone or not sure if I simply cannot experience romantic attraction #either way its a lonely existence in a world where 99% of people pair off or obsessed with trying to partner up #and theres less value/time/effort put on friendships #ON TOP OF being autistic and forming any connections at ALL is an extremely difficult task that seems to always fail on me! #lee rants #lee rambles #im actually visiting a friend and her gf (who is also friend but we are less close) so i know not everyone partners and shuns friends #but they live in another country and i cant visit all the time so it doesnt help this lonely shit feeling all the time D: to have ~1 friend #would be nice to have all the close benefits and of a dating partnership without the physical stuff and pressure of “dating” #if thar makes sense. best friends but life patners. the person is obligated to help me and bw there for me at all times #someone who chooses me first instead of others. someone that doesnt make me their last choice all the time #their very comfortable to be around and we relate and get along perfectly and make up for each others weaknesses #my favorite person and im their favorite person #they usually always say yes to me and include me and im their first choice for eveything #they respect my needs and boundaries and work with me if we have a misunderstanding or disagreement. #its so hard to find people like this. someone who matches me well enough to fit all these picky things i want #someone who would like me enough to be like this. someone im comfortable with and like who fits the energy i want #even if someone liked ME enough and was these thjngs if they arent comfortable or match my energy then i dont want them #im not desperate enough to take Anyone ans im extremely picky about it #being aroace makes any kind of datimg very hard because theres ~less fish in the sea~ #but being autistic makes it EVEN HARDER becuase i cant even make and keep FRIENDS so how would i have a /partner/ ????? #sighs. i think im meant to live a lonely life and need to learn to accept it

[liverpool-enjoyer]

ooooh man oh man the Asexual Angst™️ is hitting HARD tonight 😭😭

#WHY COULDNT I HAVE BEEN ACE AND ARO #MY LIFE WOULDA BEEN SM EASIER #BRO DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD ITS GONNA BE TO FIND A GUY THAT DOESNT WANNA BONE??? 😭😭 #like im sitting here thinking a what the ideal scenario would be #n like the thought of telling my hypothetical boyfriend 'hey i dont wanna have sex ever' n him being ok w that??? #like i literally cant fathom it #even in my IMAGINATION i cant think of a guy being ok w that #sigh.. #jus. why me #how come everyone else gets to like #be in a relationship n stuff #n my irl friends are like 'oh youll find someone!!' #best friend saying that doesnt make it TRUE #like whatre the fuckin odds #could i not jus have been allo #ngl this ace thing kinda sucks #like truly honestly think abt it #could you honestly imaginr a guy being cool w not having sex for the rest a his life??? #exactly #why did i get the asexual heteromantic combo #its ace but with Horrific Yearning #i think ive come to terms with it atp #but like damn... #shit sucks #doomed by the narrative to never know the (romantic) touch of a man ✌️🤪 #hey God if You could jus like #make me not asexual overnight #thatd be appreciated #n like im not even depressed while typing this. jus resigned #asexual

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

It’s wild how so many people are fundamentally incapable of recognizing queer characters unless they explicitly say the words, “I’m gay” on screen

#like season 1 and 2? sure maybe you can overlook Will’s queercoding and believe it’s just a result of the bully’s homophobia #season 3 is a huge stretch but it’s hypothetically possible to believe will is just a late-bloomer or asexual #but how on earth do you watch season 4 and still genuinely have no idea will is gay? #and this is not a rare occurrence #it’s astonishing how many people you have to literally explain the van scene to cause Will’s sexuality never crossed their mind #you didn’t see him staring longingly at his best friend the entire season? #some people’s minds are so aggressively heteronormative that they assumed will had a crush on el #and even after noah has explained that will is gay 50 million times #people still are confused and think it came out of nowhere or they quickly forget #somewhere there’s a fan who doesn’t keep up with stranger things news and doesn’t really use social media #a fan who is the exact opposite of chronically online #who hasn’t heard about NOAH coming out let alone Will’s sexuality #who will walk into season 5 and be utterly flabbergasted when Will comes out as gay (let alone when Byler happens) #and they’ll say that Will being gay is a huge plot twist they never saw coming #and they’ll be 100% sincere #and that’s truly baffling to me #do people think shows just randomly include melodramatic rain fights where ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ is said for no reason? #do people think the show went out of its way to show wills rejecting the attractive girl in his class cause they were in a silly goofy mood? #I genuinely wanna know what goes on through people’s heads when they have no gaydar or media literacy #even today there are people who still think romantic stobin should happen and think that Robin isn’t really a lesbian #will byers #byler

[cherubytes]

does the guy complaining about the amount of gay ultrakill fanart they see know they're on the gay fanart website???? "i cant scroll through the tag without seeing 30 fanarts of gabriel in a skirt" my brother in christ that man isnt wearing pants

#ramblings #ultrakill #sorry i usually dont pay attention to this kind of thing but that last complaint was really funny to me #“nothing in this game is meant to be sexualized'' in the game that has buttplug support?????? #like ok. i get not wanting to see anything nsf/w but that can be remedied by like. blocking the suggestive or nsft tags #as an asexual i do get the frustration of not being interested in the nsf/w side of fandoms. idk how it is on reddit or twitter #but i imagine that its a bit more difficult to avoid without a tagging system. i honestly have no clue since i rarely go on those sites #but the way this guy went about it is so weird lol #what happened to curating your own online experience or whatever. ive got fandoms i like where im not interested in what #most people like to post about. so i just go look elsewhere #cutting this short bc this is already way too long

[coyoxxtl]

i think its funny that there’s people out there that get mad when you suggest that Light Yagami is ace and not gay, like i’m sorry y’all want him to fuck L so badly but even a gay boy would pretend to jerk off to bikini girl magazines.

#death note #yall see someone say a character doesnt fuck and yall shit your pants. even if it about a character who doesn’t fuck. like light yagami. #he shows absolutely no interest in sex or romance #the sole reason he keeps misa around. outside of being someone he can easily manipulate #is so he can have the social coverage of a girlfriend. #he keeps her around for this even after he lost his memory. clearly he wants the social convenience of a gf. #she doesn’t even ask for sex from him. she teases it but knows he won’t. #dont bitch to me how this is a gay thing i know it is but guess what? its also smth asexuals do bc queer experiences arent stratified #idk why would L want to fuck him either. i bet Light is like. a lab rat to him. #he IS still a faggot however. he’s a prime example of how an asexual can be a faggot #the lawlight train shouldve been stopped like 13 years ago its the shit teenagers like and shouldve been grown out by now #txt

[queer-pagan-witch]

One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes? #at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option? #i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

they dont tell u this but the moment you let yourself just use or not use words and stop caring is when you are truly free

#i stopped caring about my identity a while ago and just let it be whatever and like #yk what? its been pretty good #maybe i dont need to understand it and label it and write it down #maybe it can just be there. itself #and it can be whatever i want and it can change every 6 seconds just based on what flag or word I like more #or what i feel more #maybe today i feel more bisexual and asexual and arospec but tomorrow maybe im gay and aego or maybe just mspec or aromantic #maybe im all of them #maybe im genderfluid or bigender or demigendered or nonbinary or maybe im just trans. in some weird incomprehensible way #i like that one more often i think. just being that #maybe its more boy or maybe im okay being girl or a creature or nothing or maybe im just dapper yk #and you know what. honestly #maybe im just a fag!!!! and its okay!!!!!!! i can just say that because thats me #and i really like that #idk. feeling kinda teary #i just. idk i feel more secure in this than i have abt anything ever #im just this hodgepodge of everything that maybe can just be that. and if i want to name it sometimes i can name it whatever i want #sorry that got really personal i just feel. okay rn #like a good okay #personal posts and stuff idk

[ackee]

worrying about men all day seems like such a tiring way to live honestly.

#like omg one of my friends. 90% of her posts is abt men in some way. #hoping her exes pay for what they did to her. dating memes. memes abt being crazy over men. yadda yadda #i dont keep up w her dating life anymore. at any time i just assume she either has a man that sucks or is crying over a man that sucks. #maybe im too ugly and/or asexual to relate but its like omfg.... GET SOME HOBBIES!!!!! PLEEK! #id love to have a lil boo thang but not.. like this . i am trying my best to make some female friends this year !! a man can come After #and literally God himself will have to tell me he's the man for me. what do i look like gaining a headache on purpose #txt

[icewindandboringhorror]

I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 

#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks #or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow #him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.) #like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure. #ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their #entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!'' #''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho #w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode #It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just #like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked #away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write #the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol #you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what #has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for #the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba #too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool #Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions #of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous #ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long #and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good #enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one #special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person #or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.'' #at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first #sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol #Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes #lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi #re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype #then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever #or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring