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ledamemangociana · 3 years

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RANKING HAISUTE (or the ones i’ve seen so far)

not that anyone has asked me, but i’ve literally been so hyperfixated on these shows for MONTHS and although i’ve gotten my bestie into them now, it’s not like i can bombard them with all these deep-ish dives into these things and how much and why i love them, so i thought HEY why not just put it out into the ether coz DAMN i really wanna talk about them.

under the cut for length (HELLA LENGTH) and spoilers.

let me preface this first by saying i havent seen ALL the shows yet. i havent ever watched the first run of Itadaki No Keshiki, and i havent seen any of the new Karasuno cast shows yet, as by the time i had gotten hooked on these shows, the time to watch Strongest Challengers and Battle At The Garbage Dump on DMM.com had passed, and with my limited budget (i havent been able to work properly since literally mid-July last year), it’ll be a while before i can afford their twin pack DVD when it comes out next month. ALTHOUGH i am hoping to be able to download Fly High on DMM.com before the availability runs out in the middle of March, if i’ll actually have enough money for that.

additionally, i rank these from my least favorite to most favorite, but that does not mean that i hate or dislike any of them. in fact, i have little to zero negative things to say about any of these shows. i just happen to love some more than the others, and i think you’ll be able to tell by how long i go on about each show. i’ll TRY to keep things concise but im telling you now, i’ve already tried this once until an accidental button press erased everything i had written, and this will not be short. at all.

i’ll start first with the things i love about Haisute in general:

quite obviously, the projections. before i finally saw Haisute this year, i had only ever seen BNHA, KNY and Kuroshitsuji musicals, and while they have awesome set pieces, i had never seen video projections utilized the way Haisute does, and i think it’s so wonderful and creative, and so technically sound on everyone’s part. like, it has to be so precise with cast performance and blocking and sound and lights...like. dudes. shout-out to the tech staff of Haisute, y’all are amazing.

the acting performances in general. i dont think there’s a bad actor at all in any of these. some stiff-ish performances (Noah Ishikura as Lev, but mostly in SoE, which was his first time acting ever, so understandable), maybe, but even those actors do great when they’re having a pivotal moment, scene or dialogue. it’s hard to pick faves but somehow i do have them, lol - Kenta Suga as Hinata (obviously), Kentaro as Daichi, Hiroki Ino as Suga, Kousuke Asuma as Oikawa, literally ALL THREE BOKUTOS, literally BOTH AKAASHIS, Ami Saito as Yachi, Tatsunari Kimura as Kageyama, and my top two faves, Shori Kondo and Takato Nagata as KuroKen. for obvious reasons (see: my numerous gifsets that i still have so much to add to alkdjf).

the music is WONDERFUL. the varieties across shows, teams and characters while still maintaining the main themes are just so good. it’s easier for them to be highlighted to since there isnt any singing, and so many moments are told through the music rather than the music accompanying the moment imo.

the choreography is gold af. im sad we lose HIDALI after Tokyo Battle, but im sure the rest of the shows still keep that amazing spark. but i juST. HIDALI’s choreography is iconic. i’ll talk abt it a bit more in some of the entries in the list.

OKAY, now on to the rankings.

7. View from the Top (2nd Run) so again, I DONT HATE ANY OF THESE SHOWS. the reason this is at the bottom of my list is mostly because of what it doesnt have through no fault of its own, rather than anything that it does. i personally love watching character growth and evolution, so for the most part, the first story in anything that has multiple follow-ups tend to be my least favorite part, and i come to enjoy them more as a “look how far we’ve come” thing. that being said, i do think this was such an awesome show to kick-off what has become an iconic 2.5D franchise. so much of it feels like the transition from potential to kinetic energy. a little show that could, and then did. i do think i enjoy this more with a nostalgic sort of fondness than i do with a “look how cool this thing is!” feeling, but again, that’s coz i enjoy watching things changing rather than at the start. what definitely stands out to me here is that i came to it this as only my fourth 2.5D franchise, and the ones i’d watched before this were so different in staging and execution, and that really had me hooked. also, this franchise honestly is one of the best casting in any show i’ve ever seen in my life, like wtf, i havent seen a badly cast actor at all, even for the side characters i dont really pay that much attention to otherwise. you cant help but be sucked into the bright light that is Kenta Suga, and Kousuke Asuma has to be the most Oikawa Oikawa to ever Oikawa anything Oikawa. Tatsunari, Ryotaro and Justin absolutely jumped right out of the manga and anime and onto the stage as Kags, Tsukki and Asahi. and GAWD do i love me some Kentaro and Hiroki as DaiSuga. i went in a big fan and simp of Hiroki Ino and Sugawara, so for the first couple of watches, i was heavily focused on Ino!Suga, but by the third rewatch, Ken-chan came around a corner and smacked me in the face with a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. when that man smiles, i just get murdered.

6. Start of the Giant i honestly had a hard time picking between this and InK for the bottom spot, not because i hate this (AGAIN, I DONT HATE ANY OF THESE SHOWS), but because of how this show feels to me. ultimately, i picked this one to win over InK because of how much character progression is shown between these two shows. stating the obvious, KAZUMA KAWAHARA. HOO BOY. and big, BIG shout-outs to Kouhei Shiota for portraying Tanaka’s emotional roller-coaster so excellently to stride alongside Ennoshita’s big journey and Kazuma’s powerhouse performance. i also wanna spotlight how much more comfortable Tatsuya Kageyama was in his second go-around as Kags, and how well Keita Tanaka and Naoki Tanaka came in as new(old)!Daichi and new!Suga. it took me a while to get to this show because i was so sad to lose Ken-chan and Hiroki after SoE, and i thought i just would not be able to love DaiSuga the same way. turns out that that’s a good thing, because they do play similar but different DaiSugas to Kentaro and Hiroki. it possibly also helped to know that KT wasn’t entirely new, and to have known of Naoki from BNHA (with Hiroki!), although i hadnt known it was him until i started the show up at last, lol. Kentaro got to play a captain who was warm and very much one of the boys, someone who was growing into the role of a captain of a team that had a very real chance of going farther than it had in a while, while KT got to play a Daichi who, fittingly, was more established as a pillar of the group (and im sure the storytelling of this show helped with that), more of that Dadchi that we know and love. Hiroki got to play a gentle but mischeivous Suga who was all about watching over and taking care of the team, watching and waiting for his turn while understanding that Kags was their best chance, while Naoki got to play a more active, more athletic Suga who was becoming more active the closer the team got to Nationals. their performances stood out not just coz they were new, but because of the theme of this story in particular, about captains and leading, so i thought it was quite a nice way to welcome them into the fold. i also of course enjoyed Johzenji and Wakunan, maybe Johzenji more than Wakunan. i saw someone say they’re a bit like Fukurodani and Nekoma lite, and i can totally see and agree with that. this show also feels a bit like Revival lite, in that it’s got a fun first half and then a more action-packed second match with an emotional gutpunch at the end. but ultimately, this is lower on my list because, through no major fault of its own, it felt like a filler show, considering what was coming after this. it felt a bit like “lets’ get on with this story so we can get on to the last hurrah that everyone is looking forward to.” of all the side teams to have been portrayed in the Engeki story, i feel like i remember johzenji and wakunan less. again, that’s not really anyone’s fault, it’s just where this show was positioned in the timeline and what it was ultimately representing. as a parting thought tho, i just wanna shout-out the new lighting scheme they did for this show, especially coming from SoE where there was a lot of darkness or back-lighting. this show is brighter lit in general than most of the shows that came before it, and idky exactly but i do appreciate that a lot.

5. Winners And Losers objectively, this is probably one of the top 3 shows in all of Haisute’s history. but it’s lower on my list because it is the most taxing to watch and rewatch, not because it’s too slow or anything like that, but because it really just is such a tiring story, and i think that’s deliberate on the part of the writers and directors. this was Karasuno’s first major loss, and it was against an opponent they thought they knew, so of course the lead-up had to be a big deal. it’s also a story that revolves quite a bit around kageyama reaching a turning point and learning a few lessons that would ultimately change him, so the story had to also execute that change happening not just in Kageyama but around him. add to that the fact that this was Tatsunari’s goodbye performance (as well as Shohei’s as Noya, but then he doesn’t really get a big emotional moment here) and it’s just heavy on the emotions all around. the comedic distraction of ShoriTaka as Tetsuko and Kenko was honestly quite welcome, lmao. quick little shout-out to Kousuke Asuma and Allen Kohatsu as IwaOi, since they got to really show off the different sides to both those characters in this, and they just are stellar in general. that bit at the end of one of their flashbacks where Iwa-chan tells Oikawa that he’s not the only one fighting, there’s six people in that team, and Oikawa breaks into laughter as Kousuke strips off the flashback jacket, and Iwa’s like “uuuhhh did i hit you too hard, or?” UGH, i love that bit, that almost creepy laugh from Kousuke and the way he comes out of it to say “suddenly im not so upset” is just SO good. im also so happy to see Hiroki get his due as Suga when he finally gets to step up to the plate - or net, as it were - and basically pinch-hit for Kags. he plays senpai!Suga so sweetly, like you really can’t help but love him coz he’s so caring. i also did not expect to be hit right in the feels with the switch back from him to Kageyama, but that bit where he says “it’s frustrating, but hinata’s expression when he’s hitting my sets is different from when it’s yours” really got me. and then when he had to leave the court, asahi and daichi send a fist bump his way, and he gives just this tiny fist bump wave that’s both tired and disappointed and sad, and it’s juST! it hurts me everytime. and before this gets long, im gonna just spotlight the last 10-15 minutes of the show, right after Karasuno loses. Kenta absolutely nails Hinata’s expression in the manga, that wide-eyed disbelief and shock. and then when Daichi tells him not to apologize because he didn’t miss, when Daichi just walks over and hugs him, good gawd. (sidebar, but i’m so glad i got to see that bit with both Ken-chan here and KT in Strongest Team.) and the way Hinata couldn’t move after thanking the audience, not even after Ukai called him back, so Daichi had to actually go get him? my heart was in PIECES. and then the fuggin dinner scene. LORD ABOVE. like, if you dont love Kenta Suga as Hinata, this is the scene that should convince you you’re wrong.

4. The Strongest Team this is right smack dab in the middle of the list because it’s probably the best staged show of all the seven that i’ve seen, but it also hurts me so much for all the obvious reasons. this is the one i’ve rewatched the least, and everytime i rewatch it, i cry as if it’s the first time im watching it. the whole show absolutely feels like a tribute to the Karasuno cast and all the growth they’ve had and contributed to Haisute over their three years with the show, and the entire thing feels so fond, if that makes any sense. everyone on the team gets a big emotional moment, and it’s so sweet to see them each paid tribute. aside from them, i gotta AGAIN shout-out kousuke as oikawa. i like aoba josai enough, i like oikawa enough as a character, but that moment when kousuke absolutely broke down in the locker room after losing to karasuno broke my heart, even more so knowing that he absolutely felt all that gratitude because he wasnt sure he’d be able to come back to the show coz of his hip injury. i think one little moment that doesnt get as talked about as it should is just after he and Iwaizumi have that short convo of always being each other’s partners even after they’ve moved on to different schools. they do their fist bump, and then Iwa walks away, but Kousuke/Oikawa is still absolutely in tears, and as Iwa walks off, he just kind of reaches out and lets out a pained “Iwa-chan!” that’s just barely audible, and that jUST. GETS ME EVERYTIME. hell, im feeling a little heartstring pull right now just thinking about it. i also wanna shout-out Shiratorizawa because Engeki made me actually care about them. like, okay - i dont hate Shiratorizawa, at all. but watching the anime, despite having an entire season be around them, i just never really latched onto them. i like Ushiwaka enough, and i just...dont like Tendou (sue me). but Engeki Haikyuu has a habit of spotlighting other teams and characters enough to make you actually think about them and care about them, and Shiratorizawa was the biggest example of that for me. their theme is awesome, it’s this big, deep, heavy thing that feels as big and broad as the players look. and i could feel their almost militaristic teamwork when the coach is on them, and it’s so good. speaking of Coach Washijo, shout-out to that flashback scene to his younger days. Kenta looked absolutely risible in the wig and giant eyebrows, but i think it was an important touch to have the person playing Hinata be the person playing younger Washijo, because their inner conflicts are basically the same, and Washijo comes to appreciate Hinata’s efforts because of it, so i thought that was a nice touch. (still dont like Tendou tho, sue me.) i gotta end this entry coz it’s getting long, so im just gonna quickly list my favorite scenes/moments:

Yamaguchi’s pinch serve, and bringing out the spear. Kairi Miura wields that spear like he’s been doing it all his life.

Tsukki’s big “GODDAMMIT I THINK I LOVE VOLLEYBALL NOW” moment. the expression on ryotaro’s face right at the end of that scene, where he’s basically saying “it’s just a club, AND YET!” uuuggggghhhh, please i love it. also, shout-out to when Hinata pointed at him and just said “...nice.” like...that always feels like only half Hinata and Tsukki, and more half-Kenta and his best friend Ryotaro, just like the “Tsukki! that one was worth a 100 points!” line that absolutely gets Ryotaro so that on the live cam he had to turn his head away before he meant to for the next bit.

that moment in the last-ish set of the match where everyone is just DESPERATE to win, so it becomes this frantic rally and volley where everyone just starts to grunt and yell louder and louder, and people are running back and forth and jumping and diving, and it’s just this cacophony of sound and blur of movement that just seems to stretch on and on, until finally Shiratorizawa just yells “SHUT UP! WE’RE STRONGER!” and knocks all of Karasuno down. WHEW. that bit is just. WHEW. i almost always forget to breathe at that point. and then the waterworks get turned on as Ukai tearfully tells them to get back up, because volleyball is a sport where you HAVE to look up. LORDDDDD.

the bit towards the end of the match, after tsukki returns from his injury, where they absolutely acted out Ushiwaka pushing Hinata and Tsukki to the floor and holding their heads down. when i first watched it, i gasped because that is straight out of the anime and manga, and then when the rest of Karasuno came in to pull Ushi off, i just turned into a giant sobbing mess.

the graduation curtain call, obviously, but in particular, the bit that will ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL, destroy me is when Kenta says “this show was so tiring and tough sometimes, but when i look back, all i can remember are the good times, the best times.” GODDAMMIT IM TEARING UP BADLY RN JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT BIT.

3. Summer Of Evolution this is where the lines between the rankings get a little bit blurred, because i love these top three equally for the most part, but i had to choose a number two (i absolutely know what my number one is), and when i really think about it, SoE just gets edged out by my number two, but barely. i think what i love the most about this show is that this, more than any of the other shows, really portrays these characters as high school kids. and that’s not just because part of the story is set in the school and it’s actually showing the school sometimes, but coz they’re going through and portraying teenage experiences and emotions. most of the other shows portray the team in matches, so we’re seeing them more as volleyball players than teenagers or students, but we get to finally see that here, and it’s really refreshing. other than that, im gonna try to just list some of my highlights and favorites again coz i dont wanna keep going too long:

im so glad to finally have girls on the show, and not just in a “YAY FEMINISM! GIRL POWER! WHOO!” kind of way. kiyoko has always felt like an inextricable part of the team for me, so it was bittersweet to have such a great Karasuno cast but without a Kiyoko, so i was REALLY happy to finally get her here! and for a first time actor ever, Shizune was so awesome! she absolutely has that gentle strength that Kiyoko has, and the way she’s been written in absolutely does feel like she’s always been there. i do wish she got more to do with the third year boys, but all in all, it’s SO good to have an actual Kiyoko who absolutely looks like she came out of the manga.

im also just so DAMN happy about Yachi and her portrayal here. i think ami saito is so dang perfect, and yachi is such a fun addition that fits right in with the chaotic fun of Karasuno. one thing that i REALLY love, though, is how she gets to just act. before Haisute, my only experience of female characters and actors on a 2.5D stage is with Uraraka (and two or three other female students) in BNHA and Elizabeth in Kuroshitsuji, and those characters are your typical cutesy girls, and their movements and body language are so typically girly, you know what i mean, those softer arms and smaller movements, looser fingers, these little “Kyaa~” things, those things. but Kiyoko, Yachi and Saeko arent like that, so that’s not how they’re portrayed here. Ami as Yachi is just as loud and expressive and active as the Karasuno boys, bar actually playing in a match. also, her chemistry with Kenta is SO GOOD. i dont really ship YachiHina, i think they’re cute friends, but BOY DID THESE TWO MAKE ME RETHINK THAT. ami’s Yachi with Kenta’s Hinata made me think “YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THESE TWO GO ON A CHAPERONED DATE.” they’re adorable. a particular fave of mine is when hinata climbs a tree to help a baby bird back into its nest and he asks Yachi if she wants to climb up too, and also after Yachi finishes making the Hinata poster, she jumps onto the back of Hinata’s bike and they ride off-stage together. PLEASE IT’S SO CUTE.

also: SAEKO NEE-SAN PLEASE STEP ON ME.

OH HI FUKURODANI. they are such good chaos boys, i love them. i dont have much to say about them here just yet, but WOW im so glad to have them onstage at last.

NEKOMA IS BACK THANK GAWD I LOVE NEKOMA. of all the teams portrayed, i think nekoma is the one that feels the most connected together (AHA!). like, even when they have a new character and/or cast member, the new ones never really stand out as new, they feel like they’ve always been there. this play really showcases the teams at their most casual so we dont get to see as much of their excellent teamwork and connection as we do in past and future shows, but you really get a sense of their family dynamic and just GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, and honestly dont get me started on ShoriTaka, i will literally never stop

shout-out to Tatsuya Kageyama, he had big shoes to fill not just in terms of character but also as an actor, since this is his first show ever. much like with KT and Naoki as DaiSuga, it does feel like he plays a similar enough Kageyama without just mimicing Tacchu. this is also the right Kags arc to introduce a new Kageyama actor with as well, since there’s a big change after that loss to Aoba Josai and Oikawa, so i think the writing of the show also absolutely helped Kage-chan ease into his role, and helped the audience ease into this new Kageyama. overall, i think he did an awesome job, and we’re really fortunate to have had two awesome Kageyamas before gen 1/1.5 changed to gen 2.

i also just noticed/realized that the backstage video for SoE starts with the introduction of Kage-chan and Fucchi as new cast members, and ends with the farewell to Ken-chan and Hiroki as graduating members, and i know that’s just natural coz the first time the Karasuno cast met the two new members was at the photoshoot for visuals, but also what a nice little circle of life there.

COMING INTO THE HOMESTRETCH NOW, if you’ve made it this far, thank you SO MUCH, im sorry, i really just have a tendency to ramble, and like i said, i dont really have anyone or an opportunity to talk this deep about these shows to, so thanks so much for your time.

2. Karasuno, Revival! WHEW okay, so idk if this is Unpopular Opinion or controversial coz objectively it is the best show so far, and i’ve put it only at number 2. BUT LISTEN: before i saw Tokyo Battle, this was absolutely my number 1 favorite. the Dateko match is so good and so fun to watch, and honestly, that rap battle gives me so much life im almost immortal now. i LOVE that they also got to show ikejiri (THANK YOU KENTA SUGA) and ken-chan as daichi got his moments because of it, and it gave us “katou tou shinakya, katenai!” as an iconic quote and theme for the show, we got a fantastic moment for Asahi that was paid off from the previous show, also honestly “otchita kyougo, tobenai garasu” is just gonna be stuck in your head forever for a while. we also got Kousuke and Allen’s excellent IwaOi back, bringing with them their “Iwa-chan, are you my mom” dynamic (and gawd the cackle i let out when Iwa yeets a volleyball at Oikawa, or that turn and yell that makes Oikawa yelp as he exits off stage lkasdjf), which is always a plus. but! BUT!! best thING FOR ME???? NEKOMA, BABY!! like im sorry, im biased, but i fuggin LOVE nekoma, kuroo is my favorite character in the entire series, and Haisute really gave them a fantastic story and dynamic, because again, there’s so much you can do on stage that you sometimes cant do in anime or manga, so they were really able to highlight Nekoma’s famous teamwork, especially when centered around Kenma. more on that later, but like. it was just such a JOY to watch Karasuno, still kind of scattered puzzle pieces at this point trying to figure out how to best go together to create one big picture, go up against the smooth teamwork of Nekoma, and learn and grow from it. also they honestly have the best team theme music and team dance, fite me. also thank you Haisute for making KuroDai so painfully real lakdsfj

1. Tokyo Battle okay okaY OKAY OKAY OKAY. i think there are some people who actually like this the least coz it’s just too different from the rest of the shows that came before it - no Karasuno, less projections, different music style, aesthetically different stage, etc. B U T. aside from me just being biased because Nekoma are my favorite team, i actually think many of those differences are what makes this show my favorite one. first of all, the music is LIT AF. the themes for each team are so distinct, they really help play up the animal motifs that are played up the most in this show than in any of the others. secondly, THAT CHOREOGRAPHY THO. good gawd. HIDALI said “it’s our last Haisute, let’s go out with a bang” and they really fuggin did. Fukurodani absolutely is TOKYO PARTY TIME, they got to really play up their party birds schtick and i love it. Nohebi i cannot HELP but love because i love snakes, but also, with Nohebi’s cast, you can tell the choreographers were so happy to finally have an actual technical dancer. they had yuu fukuzawa doing the most and then some in playing up the snake theme, and it’s literally so hypnotic to watch his pops, locks and isolations. he’s also just such an AWESOME daisho, and it helps that nohebi are written to be cunning and sneaky. i also love that he and Kuroo seem to actually have a lot of untold history, and i kind of wish we could get a bit more elaboration on that, coz Yuu’s and Shori’s chemistry as frenemy team captains is SO GOOD. and then of course. NEKOMA, BABY!! so okay. kenma absolutely should be the lead of this show, and he is, BUT he’s also, to a certain extent, inextricable from Kuroo and the rest of the team, so that you dont always get that feeling of Kenma being in the spotlight the same way Hinata is (for understandable reasons since Nekoma arent even really the main characters of the story as a whole), and i think that’s important because, again, Nekoma is all about that teamwork and connection. like, Kenma is the lead because he thinks for Nekoma, and Nekoma acts accordingly, instead of how it is usually where the story is showing Hinata’s perspective alone. it also feels like that in terms of the actors. like, technically Takato is zachou, and he is, but also several times in the curtain call speeches, the cast members refer to or mention both Takato and Shori together. even Takato says that when he had spoken to Kenta about how nervous he was about taking up the zachou mantle from him, Kenta had said “if it’s you and shori, you’ll be fine.” they are a unit, and it really comes across in their portrayals of Kuroo and Kenma as well, and even if you love nothing else about this show, you literally cannot help but love that about them. i think the show does a great job revolving the Nekoma team dynamic around that too without making it the ONLY thing that keeps Nekoma together. the star of the show is absolutely the theme of “connection” (more than the other theme of promises), and if you’ve seen the show and you dont cry at the “Tsunage” section as Nekoma wins the match against Nohebi, then are you really watching the show lmao.

OKAY OKAY I’VE REALLY RAMBLED ON, and if you made it all the way here, THANK YOU AND IM SORRY. but also, there’s still a lot of things i wanna talk about that i didnt talk about here coz im mostly a scatterbrain and live half my life radiating BDE - Bokuto Dumbass Energy. so if you’re also ridiculously obsessed with these shows and wanna talk about it, my inbox is open. someone come hyperfixate with me while i make SO MANY MORE GIFSETS OHMYGOD ALL THE GIFSETS geezas crust when i get to Tokyo Battle i will be insufferable.

#engeki haikyuu #haikyuu #haisute #hyper projection engeki haikyuu #haikyuu stage play #long post #REALLY LONG POST IM SO SORRY #Mango Goes To Jail #NO REALLY IT'S LONG

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lcofowler · 4 years

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THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — leopold kristoff fowler

NICKNAME — leo pretty exclusively methinks........ one of his brother’s used to call him krissy to annoy him n stopped after leo finally punched him over it snickers

D.O.B. — november 12th, 1996

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — board | tag

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo ascending

MBTI — estp - the entrepeneur

MORAL ALIGNMENT — chaotic neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single & pansexual

LANGUAGES — english & dutch

TALENTS / HOBBIES — guitar, bass, drumming, partying titters, soccer, wastes way too much time making tiktoks

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — creedence clearwater revival, dababy :/, elvis presley, run the jewels, glass animals

FAVOURITE BOOK — has he ever even read a book................. a genuine good question. definitely liked some comics tho, like the walking dead ones probs

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — hes tht person whose fav movie is like . step brothers or something. like i unironically think leo loves tht movie n im sry abt it. he jst doesnt rly care wht he watches at all bt stupid humour like tht wld probs entertain him enough if he was watching something on his own / was attached to the walking dead cuz of the comics but otherwise doesn’t watch too many tv, probs watches marj’s Soaps w her whenever he has free time

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — i dnt kno much abt video games. he was probs more of an outdoors than video game kid bt feel like he’d like games w a story like life is strange or dumb ones tht rnt taken seriously n u can jst play simply on ur laptop like coming out on top or tht old computer game façade

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — worked A Lot to make up fr the damage he’d done after his last Episode at a local grocery store, jst hung out n partied w friends mostly otherwise

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — florida n new york mostly in the states before connecticut, amsterdam a lot, greece and italy as well

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — has been given a fuck ton of mood stabilizers to try n hes only jst recently started Actually taking carbatrol tht hes been prescribed after basically being begged to by his aunt n uncle

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — bipolar i, adhd

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — stu from scream (minus the murder lawl), jj maybank from outer banks, valerio from elite, ransom from knives out (minus the murder once more this pattern is getting scary)

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — yes they work as a florist at his aunt n uncle’s flower store fowler’s flowers! steve was so proud of all his hard work this summer he promoted leo to supervisor! :D

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — he was definitely talked about, but he also went to like 5 diff high schools, people jst basically heard rumours n saw the stupid stuff he did n if they stuck around to see it it was merely bc they wanted to see if he had the balls to go through with his next stupid plan instead of with the intent of friendship or anything like that

DO THEY DO DRUGS? — ya he kinda jst does wtvr

DRINK? — too much yes.

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — not as much as he used to

SMOKE WEED? — a bit mostly if someone else offers it up

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — he was born in tallahassee but grew up between there n manhattan a lot depended on wht parent wasnt sick of him yet titters

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — he doesn’t even kno if he’s gna make it thru his undergrad

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — there are none..... he wldnt b surprised if he jst ended up working at fowler’s flowers fr the rest of his life hes jst so comfortable there n has no idea wht hes gna do.

PARENTS NAMES — renata & archibald (mom n dad), marjorie & steven (aunt n uncle, current guardians)

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — Yeth theres augustus (28), mikhael (26), vaughn (21), n willhelm (18)

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — mitzie’s a tortoiseshell cat tht lives at marj n steve’s tht he does love quite dearly bt thts it

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — lawl no, his dad is 7th day adventist tugs my shirt collar but leo hated it growing up, is pretty spiritual tho thanks to marj n steve

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — god. a Lot. 100+ frankly idek........ he jst doesnt care.

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — he doesn’t have his own car but he borrows his aunt n uncle’s if they’re not using it, rides his bike around a lot

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — so . insanely all over the place. jst doesn’t care. once wore a pair of his aunts leggings to a fkin funeral bc he didnt have anything clean. wore a crop top he made with the words ‘this is what gay looks like’ to a job interview. a sweater that said ‘big dick is back in town’ to a family reunion after he hadnt seen his immediate family in like . a year. jst a lot of absurd thrift store finds n wtvr he wants. patterns tht dont match. very proud of his neon green dr martens w aliens on the side. anything loud rly.......

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — either/or

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — not really, but he pretends he does and relays them all to his aunt to freak her out bc she RLY believes them

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — yes<3

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM — “It is an act of rebellion to remain present, to go against society’s desire for you to numb yourself, to look away. But we must not look away.”

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — morning in america - jon bellion

#ruhqtask #ruhqtask001 #ok does rosa's tmrw bc im so tired #sry i didnt get 2 replies either promise im gna get a rly nice nights sleep n fk up the dash tmrw :yum:

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

Text

hunty movie 1

sooo ruth and i watched the first hxh movie holla

me as soon as we’re done w/the yorknew arc: OH FUCKY ITS ANIME MOVIE TIME

i love anime movies. theyre so often Entertaining As Hell, and also Not Very Good. its a very fun intersection

overall this movie slots pretty easily into that category. it was a good time but nothing revolutionary. which is ok! and that makes sense bc its not canon apparently

this movie was basically the ‘killua and kurapika have Trauma(tm)’ movie lmao

we open w/killua having a trauma dream abt illumi, rehashing the stuff we saw in the hunter exam arc....we see this a few more times in the movie, and it really drives home how killua is still rlly scared of illumi and kinda just goes into a dissociative trauma state whenever illumi is around (even fake doll illumi or dream illumi, in this movie). poor kid :( :(

regrettably tho ruth and i agree that illumis outfit in this movie was pretty sexy

ok that whole beginning part where kurapikas eyes get stolen happens SO fast hvbfhdjshfsk its like ok guess thats the status quo for this movie!

jesus poor kurapika. they cant catch a fuckgin break huh

also that kid was totally the kid that was alluded to by kurapika at the end of the yorknew arc...so i guess that was included in the anime as a setup for this movie?

also apparently that stuff was based off of a short story thing the author did a while ago which is p cool

leorios terrible drawing skills is hvhbjsdfbsdfngsjkdf

also leorio is so tender w/kurapika hhhhhhh im gonna die. im gonna gay die

and gon and killua are just. tiny soulmate boyfriends ok

ah yes i see the obligatory movie original character who befriends the protag

it kinda cracks me up how hostile killua is to retz like vhbhskhdfbaj i get that its bc of Trauma and his fear of betrayal/betraying but it also reads as killua being a Jealous Gay which is kinda hilarious

ruth and i when hisoka shows up: [prolonged annoyed groaning and dismayed yelling]

hisoka literally just shows up to sow chaos and throw around information to stir shit up huh

of COURSE the villain is the former 4th spider thats like. easy choice lmao

it might just be the fansubs but i feel like there were strong implications that hisoka and 4th spider guy fucked bhjdfashfdjnakn

the most unbelievable thing abt this whole thing is that hisoka didnt kill that doll guy lmao

ohhh shit its uvo

OHHH SHIT NOBUNGA AND MACHI....its so bad but i really like the troupe members and when they show up im like !!!!!!!

machi is so cooooool

aughhhh its like....i feel bad for nobunga for having to face down uvo like this....and THEN when pakunoda shows up too :( and nobunga tells her doll ‘rest in peace now’ or something when he cuts her down....oof. but also like theyre evil murderers so im!?! conflicted?!?!

also the shadow beast guys that uvo killed showing up and then proceeding to do LITERALLY NOTHING was kinda hilarious

and damn so technically the troupe is on the same side as the main crew, what with all of them wanting to wreck omokages shit

also omokage looks like sephiroth lmaoooo

ill be honest i barely know what sephiroth looks like but ruth said this and i felt in my bones that its true

ok i gotta talk abt the kurapika backstory stuff bc OUUGHGHGHGHGH my fucking UWUS BITCH!!!!

seeing a bunch of kurta was sad....and seeing baby-er kurapika OUGH and also pairo is sooo cute and him and kurapikas friendship is so pure

kurapika is so different :( theyre like, so much more innocent and excitable....thats so damn sad bro wtf

pairo pulling some slick moves swapping that little potion thing - all while using his blindness as a cover - was so good...no wonder he and kurapika get along so well

also gotta say its even more brutal that one of the main reasons kurapika didnt get Big Murdered w/the rest of the kurta is bc pairo pulled this stunt - if he hadnt, kurapika wouldve failed the test and never would have left

also kurapika saying theyre gonna find someone who can help w/pairos eyes ;_; the similarities w/leorios backstory/motivation makes me die

and seriously im still caught up at how innocent and pure kp is oooof ough

tho still defs the kurapika we know....theyve seemingly always had a temper, what with the reaction to the dudes in the market

like, kurapika did NOT hold back...even after finding out that they were just part of the test! tho i do get it bc they insulted pairo...kurapika’s love for their friends/stalwart need to defend their friends is clearly a big thing

also the market people’s reaction to seeing kp’s red eyes is rlly interesting to me...are the kurta like, known to anybody? or are they more of a vaguely talked-about group that like, ‘probably exists’? or is it that people know abt them but not the red eyes thing? it seems like these people, if any, would know, bc this market is seemingly a day’s travel from where the kurta live....i want more kurta lore bro!!

i big love pairo helping kurapika cheat like that....such an interesting twist, and makes it obvious that theirs is a friendship of equals

anyways i loved that flashback stuff and it just drives home how absolutely fucked up and horribly sad kurapikas whole existence is, especially in this movie w/pairo’s doll being used against them

n e ways back to the non flashback stuff

i love that gon’s super nose returned for this movie omg

im just auhghghghgh gon and killua know each other so well uwu....

aaaand illumi (well, doll illumi) is back to fuck shit up for poor killua

ugh it still gets me how clearly terrified of illumi killua is...we dont really see him act like this any other time :( and the fact that doll-illumi was able to scare killua enough to get him to run away and leave gon behind (albeit briefly) was oof

gon jumping in front of killua and getting his eyes stolen instead....baby boyyyy oughhh

also can i just say thank fuck they didnt replace illumis eyes w/gons bc THAT wouldve been some serious nightmare fuel lmao

cant believe killua then ran away again and walked emo-ly on the train tracks

and THEN he saw a train coming and was like oh well :( guess ill die :/ JESUS KID

but gon w/his Big Sniff Powers comes to the rescue!!

it was so cute how gon told killua that killua didnt run and abandon him - they were working together to fight :’) gon understands killua so well

i love how the squad then squads up to fight omokage...with half of them being blind lmao

and in the half that isnt blind is leorio, who STILL doesnt know nen, and literally brings a knife to a nen fight

i totally saw the whole ‘retz is a doll and her older brother is omokage, and retz actually died a while ago’ thing coming lol but still, not bad

all omokage does is talk abt the beauty of his dolls or w/e like ENOUGH bro

kurapika fighting pairo and killua fighting illumi (AGAIN) was all so fucked up they shouldve switched opponents for less trauma oof

and poor leorio is literally no help vhhvdijfhjbashkj he just gets throw around this whole time

kurapikas fight against pairo was sad bc it was such a fucked up situation...kp did gr8 tho, i liked them saying that this isnt the real pairo, cause pairo would never say/do these things. still and extremely sucky situation to be in!

meanwhile its the gon and killua vs doll-illumi rematch...and this illumi is like, a version of illumi drawn from killuas mind/heart (or something idk, it was kinda glossed over which i understand), which means that hes extra scary and focused on telling killua how much hes just a mindless killing machine who cant have friends

but luckily we have gon here to help snap killua out of his trauma haze, which certaintly wasnt the case at the hunter exam - so it was kinda nice to see how things went w/gon around :’) they work so well together oughhhhh....and they love each other so much broo gay preteen love real

hisoka just fuckgin materializing in the house place to help sow more chaos....unbelievable

me: i bet hisoka wont want to fight doll chrollo bc its not The Same as real chrollo

ruth: no i think he will bc hes a whore

hisoka: [fights doll chrollo]

me: oh shit u right

kurapika: ok omogake its time for you to FUCKING DIE-

and then killua stops them and says that he’ll do it, be he doesnt want kurapika to kill anymore :( :( :( bro im sooo fucking sad. killua rlly b out here thinking that hes already too far gone to matter when it comes to murder, but he doesnt want his friends to end up like that, so he might as well take on that burden, because whats one more person’s death on his hands? (EVEN THO HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL ANY MORE...but theres exceptions when it comes to saving your friend’s souls and whatnot) :( :( AUGHHH

but luckily retz comes THRU with some good ole fratricide

killua: [takes notes]

the fact that the phantom troupe just fuckgin shows up and is like oh hey its you guys. this casual enemy stuff kills me lmao i love it

then they just fuckgin LEAVE and theyre like welllll we cant rlly fight u bc of chrollo’s state so by i guess. its NOT On Sight but someday it will be! YOU TOO HISOKA DONT THINK WE FUCKIGN FORGOT ABOUT YOU.

dramatic house burning! and rip retz, saw that one comin tho

when they all went thru and said their life goals and then killua was like shit i dont have a cool definitive anime goal LMAOOOO

but THEN gon said his goals should be to stay by gon’s side UHMMM???? baby gays AUGHHHHH and killua is just like lovestruck AUGHHHH

Gays Win

then they all peace out to resume the next arc lmaoooo

and then we see flashes of other characters, like the blonde girl (who ruth and i totally thought retz was, seeing thumbnails from this movie....we were like w8 hasnt that girl not been introduced yet??? lmao)

we also see some dude w/long hair and a hat who ive never seen before but ruth went OHHH ITS SCYTHE GUY!!! so i guess hes gonna b important?? lol

and then we saw chrollo....still in the same place the squad left him vbhajfdjkahsbfkdjabhsukfdj CAN HE NOT GET DOWN FROM THERE W/OUT NEN OR AN AIRSHIP??? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING ME

general thots:

so this was very much an Anime Movie, in that they cant like, advance to plot or develop the characters much, bc its a movie. and this one is non canon

it was enjoyable but i do feel like it was much more typical shounen then hxh usually is...like, i feel like this was made by the same people who make like, the naruto movies or w/e, and w/the same sort of approach/attitude

this isnt necessarily bad - i LIKE shounen for a reason - but it was a bit noticeable bc it wasnt quite as smart as hxh is usually, and it rehashed a lot of stuff weve already seen in this show itself

but still i think it did a good job w/what it had, and it had some good angst, and everyone was very gay which is good

the art style was SLIGHTLY wack but it wasnt as bad as i thought itd be

overall a fun time like most anime movies. didnt reinvent the wheel but i had a good time. im excited for the greed island arc, and im also disproportionately excited to watch the hxh musical bc that is a thing that exists and i MUST see it asap bc that sounds like the kind of hilarious wackiness that appeals to me specifically

so thats it...later!

#this is more of a recap than a liveblog lmao #anyways. good times #lj watches hxh #hxh

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centralsaints · 4 years

Note

Im sorry if i sound mean or rude, but what Priya said in the ep was pure ignorance. She talked like we poly don't bond with our patners. But we do. Monogamous, poly and open relationship all have commitment and bonds. And not only that she acted like poly would have been a solution which it isn't. If Alexy wanted a poly relationship he would have talked with Morgan but he decided to go betray Morgan. And he kept going the affair without thinking twice and he would have continued if not caught.

oh I'm absolutely not saying the way polyamory was handled was good (also keep in mind I have only seen screen shit and discussed the episode, havent played it yet bc general disinterest in love life and lack of ability to focus for 3 seconds), I'm just saying I liked that one line. it was handled pretty messily, just like about every serious thing this game tries to do 😬

alex definitely was in the wrong in seeing someone behind his own boyfriend's back. if he hadnt talked about it, he probably would have continued yea.

I'm assuming you were referring to my other answer abt the poly situation; what I said about wanting alex to realise he was in the wrong, maybe work out why he went to see elsewhere, and figure out if monogamy is for him is quite honestly a very hypothetical growth and character development story. and one i doubt beemov would do 😔 something like that could only happen with extensive character study and a properly written arc, which beemov is also known for fucking up.

in short, beemovs writing is once again, a mess and I'm not looking to argue about the validity a messy dating game puts on polyamory ppl because I myself am tired, gay and poly and am this close to giving up this game for good 😔

#ask

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im-basically-logan · 5 years

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Patton. Lets talk about him.

I've never seen him so genuinely afraid until now. Sure, he's a bit squeamish around spiders but this was genuine fear.

I cant pull up the video rn but i think he said something along the lines of "That was... Horrible" after Remus' little song.

His body language almost resembled Virgil's: closed in, head down.

He didnt even act like this when he popped up to make Deceit go away. Though, those were very different circumstances, he didn't seem to find Deceit intimidating.

In SvS, even, he was never as terrified as he was when Remus showed up.

Idk where i was going with this tbh.... Hm... Imagine how that affected Thomas' already shoddy mental health in the video?

Another thing to note is his improvement at the end. He was letting himself be too strict with Thomas. In SvS we got hints of this. ("I'm your morality, you don't know what you're saying" roughly what he said, i dont remember)

I think it's kinda interesting how Morality, always wanting to do the right thing, was in the wrong. People probably picked up on this lol.

I unno. I hadnt seen any posts abt Patton yet. Feel free to add on

#ts spoilers #sander sides #patton sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #analysis #lo rambles

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wirtless · 6 years

Text

things from deh 11/19

the lights hadnt even gone up on ben yet on the bed and people were already applauding like it was the end of the world. the applause just..kept going. and ben had this choked up look on his face and he was trying not to cry

the same for rachel bay jones just. raucous applause.

and also? when the murphy family breakfast rolls on people lost it and they had to wait like 85 minutes before going back into the song

ben forgetting his lines in the middle of sincerely, me and just kind of standing there with a little grin on his face as will was just staring at him like omg

during ywbf ben walked toward the front of the stage as usual, you know, but he was looking UP at the screens and all around like he’d never seen it before in his life and he wanted to memorize it all. he had his head entirely craned back just looking UP

after smthng jared says about the Gay Emails ben sat there and did his normal little head shake but ppl laughed so much, and he did it again and people laughed, and he just kept doing it an incredible amount of time just. shaking his head and everyone loved it

he wiped his hand ENTIRELY down to his foot when he meets zoe for the first time. like not just a dramatic little shirt wipe. he lifted up his leg and wiped it the ENTIRE length to his off-brand shoes

after zoe was like “im not breaking up w you” ben was facing out toward the audience and did this little hand moment like Oh but again. we all laughed. and he kept doing it for like 5 hours

also his FREAK OUT when he thinks zoe is breaking up w him was SO DRAMATIC he did lunges and shit i have never seen a human body move in that way before

mike really pummeled him in sincerely, me during their little Buddy Buddy part. and BEN !!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKIN RAN HIS HAND THROUGH MIKES HAIR INSTEAD OF DOING HIS NORMAL TINY POKES

sincerely, me was basically a rock concert ppl next to be started to clap along it was wild

bens hug with jlt after for forever didnt end they just did not let go of each other

mike was especially kind today as the computer lab connor he was very very kind. gentle. until you know, hes not

ben hugged michael park after to break in a glove

this is not specific to today but whenever rbj struts up the center of the stage during good for you i lose my mind

there was a half standing ovation after words fail. a good portion of the mezzanine stood and i couldnt see the orchestra. man, you could see him concentrating all his energy just NAILING every single not and i think he was legitimately sobbing when he told the murphys the truth. he had to take some breaths. i mean, sobbing more than usual. i was worried for a second

so big, so small was impossible to watch bc it was the most truthful beautiful quiet thing ive ever seen. the looks they gave to each other. the words they said without speaking abt how much they love each other. i cannot express the power of the beat that evan and heidi spent looking into each others eyes doing nothing but being together. they took their time on this song and it hurt so bad

the finale was ridiculous it was just everyone weeping weeping weeping. laura dreyfuss was WEEPING her face was red with tears but she somehow held it together to talk to ben and say “i wanted you to see this” but even from the MEZZANINE i could see the sparkle of tears in her eyes and i was like laura please if you start crying, im really gonna lose my composure and fuckin shriek or something

when everyone came out to sing for forever at the finale and theyre all looking at him ben just looked at them for a good long minute and theyre all smiling at him, and the look on rachel bay jones’ face is ethereal, and hes in the spotlight, and he steps forward to sing his final lines and he closes his eyes and just feels it

and then its done

laura gives him a huge bouquet of flowers and he keeps motioning for the rest of the cast to come on and bow with him again and again bc the theatre just wont shut up and he has to keep coming back and bowing

and then its really done

#dear evan hansen #deh #ben platt #less.txt #long post//

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foxstens · 4 years

Text

some more fate musings

find it so interesting how when i decided to read fsn i was like 'ok so im sure ill probably hate most of this but i need to slog through it for the Lore so that f/z can really become one of my faves'

and then i ended up hating f/z and caring so little about the lore that i refuse to watch anything fate-related not set in fuyuki

like the lore is still great and i do care about it but only within fsn and fha. the rest can be canon or not canon or whatever and i dont give a flying fuck

and f/z.... idk like somehow i didnt know that it'd have inconsistencies and that it's so different themes and execution-wise?

i guess it was a misjudgment on my part bc the pieces of media i love most are always the ones with tons of slice of life and character interactions that only bring in the Plot and the Pain after you've gotten very attached to the characters and their world. and that also happen to have optimistic themes and endings

and f/z is the literal polar opposite of that. i knew i dont mesh well with urobuchi's work for these reasons and yet i still feel so incredulous. like theres ppl who have consumed everything fate-related and love f/z the most out of all of them. and i findcthat very interesting

and so im left to wonder how i'd feel about fate in general had i started with f/z. there's still the risk that i wouldn't have liked it bc like i said, i dont mesh well with urobuchi's works. but at the very least i probably wouldn't have hated it as much as i do now

but i wonder how i would've felt abt ubw or the vn if i decided to dive into either of those. watching ubw after it wouldve been a horrible idea bc it /is/ the middle part of a three-part story and horrible if you expect a sequel to f/z. but i have no idea how f/z wouldve changed my experience with the vn

im so glad that i didnt go down that route tho. im kind of proud of myself for it. bc normally i wouldnt have even bothered with watch order or source material or whatever, especially when the vn is over 1 million words long. i wouldve just dived into f/z and been on my way

but reading fsn was such a special experience, life-changing even. and i am so glad i went into it knowing next to nothing about the franchise or even visual novels as a medium. and it might have raised the bar a bit too high when it comes to visual novels and especially their fandiscs but i dont regret it for a second

(also nobody knows about this but what really made me aware of the franchise was emiya gohan. bc i had heard about the millions of shows with fate in the title but i hadnt looked them up at all. then i saw its poster on an anime updates blog and i was like 'this looks nice what is this' and then i looked up fate and everything was too complicated so i was like ':( guess im never watching it' and then somehow at some point i came across deen/stay night's op and then f/z's second op and now here i am)

on another note i guess the reason i see so many ppl complain abt the cooking and school scenes early on in the fate route (and why i skimmed some of them myself at the time) is bc at that point you don’t know how important that part of life is for these characters. i mean i’ve seen ppl call fsn’s slice of life scenes ‘horrible’ a few times but i honestly don’t know in what way they’re worse than other vns’ sol scenes.

apart from that when ppl talk negatively abt those scenes they mostly mean the beginning of the fate route when the plot is kind of an afterthought that shows up once in a while while shirou goes on with his life. and that’s when you’re still getting introduced to the characters and shirou himself so you don’t know that shirou doesn’t really have anything other than the cooking and the cleaning and the helping other people.

i wonder if that's the reason ppl don't seem to like them in the hf movies. bc if you just watch ubw and then jump into hf you are nowhere near as familiar with and attached to the characters as when you spend 40+ hours with them. bc in the vn by the time you get to hf you have a pretty good grasp on shirou’s character so you understand why those scenes are so important. at the same time you get to know sakura better and you see how important this part of life is for her too, especially as the shadow starts affecting her more and more. so yea that’s also one of those things that makes the vn such a different experience.

altho there are also ppl who read both fsn and fha and still don’t like those scenes and that’s valid. probably. eh

#my posts #liveblogging #animanga #liveblogging fate #my rambles #read more

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yumikoflare · 7 years

Text

wowie this is a loooong meme - thanks for the tag @wildricebear more like wild loser bear...........

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people. (putting it under the cut bc it’s 100+ questions!)

1. What is your nickname? i go by yumi! my rl nickname has the same amount of letters 🤔

2. What is your zodiac sign? aqua sun / scorp moon

3. What is your favorite book series? not gonna lie i havent read any book series in a looong time but my fav manga series is fukigen na mononokean!

4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? ofc, i believe in both!

5. Who is your favorite author? errr i honestly don’t have one ahaha but sunrisesongs has some reaaaally nice poetry if that counts

6. What is your current favorite song? rn i’m a huuuge fan of kenshi yonezu’s suna no wakusei, namely the soramafu cover!

7. What is your favorite word? uhh don’t have one.. but the word ‘warmth’ has always struck a chord in me?

8. What was the last song you listened to? i think it was ra ra rasputin b/c someone at band was playing it on his phone LOL

9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? i don’t watch tv oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ can’t think of anime recs either smhhh

10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i don’t watch movies if i’m feeling down but i remember enjoying the intern?

11. Do you play video games? mmm a little bit.. i play overwatch and sometimes osu and ive played a couple of mmorpgs here and there

12. What is your biggest fear? losing my purpose and passion

13. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i’m a good friend! i think that counts

14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my lack of patience and intolerance to trials

15. What is your favorite season? winter!!!!!!

16. Are you in a relationship? nah

17. What is something you miss from your childhood? honestly? i don’t miss much in particular from my childhood other than that Sweet Naive Bliss™ because things have been getting better in my life since then so

18. Who is your best friend? nizh, swirl, mari, gil, noah, sam, laura, kayla come to mind

19. What is your eye color? dark brown

20. What is your hair color? dark brown

21. Who is someone you love? all my friends...........

22. Who is someone you trust? the friends i listed earlier!!!

23. Who is someone you think about often? honestly as of recently myself bc im working on bettering myself LOL but other than that, i think of noah kinda often?

24. Are you currently excited about/for something? uuuuhhhh not particularly

25. What is your biggest obsession? currently overwatch

26. What was your favorite TV show as a child? probably spongebob aldsakdsla

27. Do you have any unusual phobias? mmmmmm not sure but my anxiety makes a lot of small things scary so

28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both!!!!

29. What is your favorite hobby? honestly not sure... i like writing but recently i’ve been very into photo and video editing so!!!

30. What was the last book you read? probably the hiding place

31. What was the last movie you watched? goosebumps i think? watched it at home w/ my mom bc she hadnt seen it before

32. What musical instruments do you play, if any? [[[the sound of me, panicked, aggressively slamming my mallets into a timpani can be heard in the distance]]]

33. What is your favorite animal? dogs.... i love dogs

34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? hm i rly like yamiiino, kaiami, tofuvi, star-plasma, and zandraart!

35. What superpower do you wish you had? healing factor!!!

36. When and where do you feel most at peace? idk, whenever really, surrounded in my closest friends; either that or doing something i love alone

37. What makes you smile? my friends...... also getting praised......

38. What sports do you play, if any? FUNNY JOKE i cant sports

39. What is your favorite drink? hell....... i love lots of different types of teas (black, green, jasmine, honey, etc) and im also a sucker for matcha... and i also like ice blended drinks... and (virgin bc im underage) mojitos.... and smoothies.......... fdgkjkdf i love drinks a lot ok

40. Are you afraid of heights? yes 10000%

41. What is your biggest pet peeve? close-mindedness and intolerance to other ppl/ideas/etc + having to waste resources

42. Have you ever been to a concert? only one! was a mayday parade concert earlier this year

43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? like everything LOL a singer and an author were prob my biggest ones tho

44. What fictional world would you like to live in? HONESTLY the fukigen na mononokean world would be cool to live in...

45. What is something you worry about? i simultaneously really like and dread band asdlsakdas

46. Are you scared of the dark? yup orz

47. Do you like to sing? heck yea!!!! singing is so good.....

48. Have you ever skipped school? no bc im a goody two-shoes™

49. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dunno! i don’t have one! the world’s so big there’s so many places i still have yet to go!!!

50. Where would you like to live? honestly idk i’m happy with where i am now LOL

51. Do you have any pets? i wish......... i want a doggo so bad but my sister and i are allergic

52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? i don’t feel like either but i’m closer to a night owl

53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? both..... the sky is a goddess and im in love with her.....

54. Do you know how to drive? i’m an anxious minor who is too afraid to get near the wheel LOL

55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones bc earbuds always fall outta my ears and its a Pain

56. Have you ever had braces? nope B)

57. What is your favorite genre of music? ummmmm i don’t have a fav bc i’m kinda flexible but i like alt rock? and j-rock/j-pop?

58. Who is your hero? to be completely honest idk if i have one LOL im my own hero™ B))))

59. Do you read comic books? nah

60. What makes you the most angry? probably the same as #41 as well as like myself?? bc i get frustrated with myself v often and that concept makes me angry asdsa;ldas

61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? nizh wrote “i like real books but i’m so lazy that i’m more likely to read digital” and i am in agreement

62. What is your favorite subject in school? errrrrrrrr i suppose la? but i’m abt to enter some new classes and learn under totally new teachers so idk it’s bound to change!

63. Do you have any siblings? ye, one older sister

64. What was the last thing you bought? a flowy cardigan from yesterday!!!! im lov it.... i might post a pic of it

65. How tall are you? 5′1′’ and 3/8 sdfkjsdijeiwjeje

66. Can you cook? yo i wish..................

67. What are three things that you love? my friends, music, food/drinks LOL

68. What are three things that you hate? same as #41 and a third thing would prob be conflict?? idk

69. What is your sexual orientation? as far as i know i experience no sexual attraction (asexual) and i experience romantic attraction to anyone and everyone (panromantic) so!

70. Where do you currently live? socal

71. Who was the last person you texted? probably nizh

72. When was the last time you cried? mmmm maybe a week or two ago... i cant recall exactly when so thats good

73. Who is your favorite YouTuber? oooohhh.. im super mainstream but i love arikadou LOL also zylbrad, seagull, and etika

74. Do you like to take selfies? i do! i usually only take selfies like every once in awhile when im feeling cute and when i do i take A Lot

75. What is your favorite app? i lov line camera?? also google photos makes things mucho convenient

76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? tbh i find my relationship with my parents to be closer than a lot of my friends’ so :0

77. What is your favorite foreign accent? i dunno! french accents are pretty cool

78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? japan! also the philippines

79. What is your favorite number? idk but i like 5 and 8

80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? both freak me out but the ocean is pretty interesting

81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not in the slightest LOLOL

82. Are you allergic to anything? intolerant to eggs, pretty allergic to any type of nuts so that sucks, n i got those Seasonal Allergies

83. Can you wiggle your ears? NO I HAVENT READ HARRY POTTER

84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? umm idk how often LOL whenever i think im wrong..?? which is somewhat frequently?

85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forests are lovely

86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? honestly idk......... i remember my dad said smth about how you don’t always have to forgive everyone and by saying ‘it’s okay’ permits the other person to repeat the same action, so i choose my words rly carefully now bc of that :o

87. Are you a good liar? kinda half n half... depends on what i’m lying abt

88. What is your Hogwarts House? iiiiii forgot but it was either ravenclaw or hufflepuff... mightve been the former

89. Do you talk to yourself? YEAH especially when i’m practicing music or video editing

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

91. Do you keep a journal/diary? as of very recently yes bc my therapist recommended me to do so :0

92. Do you believe in second chances? usually in most circumstances

93. Do you believe that people are capable of change? oh yeah definitely, anyone is capable of change, it just depends on their attitude towards it

94. Are you ticklish? yes i hate it

95. Have you ever been on a plane? yep, to san francisco and sacramento and i guess once to texas but that was before i could remember so

96. Do you have any piercings? nope and i don’t rly want any tbh

97. What fictional character do you wish was real? i have nooo idea there’s a lot of thought i’d have to put into this question LOL

98. Do you have any tattoos? nah but if i did they’d be veeeery simplistic

99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? probably when i decided 1-2 years ago that i wanted to get my life back on track so i could become a person i could love and ive been making progress little by little ever since then

100. Do you believe in karma? mmmmm not reaaallyyyy..... like maybe a little bit but

101. Do you wear glasses or contacts? its ya girl almost legally blind and wearing contacts

102. Do you want children? not sure yet but probably

103. Who is the smartest person you know? no clue omg there are lots of smart ppl in this world

104. What is your most embarrassing memory? sometime in grade school i was sitting at the edge of a playground slide pleading for my friend not to push me down bc i rly had to pee but she did and i literally just pissed all over the slide and we just stared at each other for a long time and that was just........ Very Bad - I HAVE ANOTHER BAD MEMORY THOUGH it wasnt even long ago kill me??? i was at my friend’s house for dinner and her parents asked what my sister was studying and my sister just recently got into college and i had a veeeeeeeery vague grasp on what she was studying so i literally said ‘food and tectonics’ and i wanNA MCDIE BC I MEANT DIETETICS NOT T E C T O N I C S

105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? mmm not a real one.. most ive done is stayed up til 6amish with nizh before goin to sleep ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like i’m definitely capable of doing it i just don’t want to

106. What color are most of your clothes? dunno? i have a fairly colorful wardrobe but i almost always wear something w/ black if i’m not going for an all light outfit

107. Do you like adventures? depends on where to bc im very cautious LOL

108. Have you ever been on TV? nope

109. How old are you? how old is ur moM!! dab dab haha xd

110. What is your favorite quote? one of my favs is “there are no happy endings, endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle and a very happy start” by shel silverstein; i have a few others but thats the first that comes to mind

111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory tbhhhh

112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you? umm not badly but ive been mildly disappointed by a few LOL

113. What is your favorite scent? that clean/fresh linen smell?? and also lavender and then light stuff like eucalyptus mint

114. Random fact you know? the duck-billed platypus can’t keep its eyes open underwater, so it finds its prey by using sensors in its bill that detect electrical impulses n then they strike! theyre pretty cool animals..

115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships? nizh said “hard. just, really hard. not sure if it’s worth it” and i also agree

IT IS OVER wow ok 20 ppl is kind of a lot and this is a loooot of questions so im only gonna tag a tiny bit of ppl (dont have to do it if u dont wanna!): @dunmerhealer | @aftertaste-of-memes | @inspiringnokias yeah that’s it LOL this is just Hella Long so idk how many ppl would be up for doin this so ye ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#personal

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yumenosakiacademy · 5 years

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metr0con 2019 saturday diary

cosplayed/breakfast: same as the other 2 diaries. snack: a twin kitkat.

my eyes only, buckaroo. for future me.

can i b real w u i waited until 3 am to type this n a lot (esp from panels/early in the day) is HELLA fuzzy!!! sry! ;w; also it’s like. 4 am as im typing this n im not in the mood to write a diary! recalling everything is tiring, yknow? n i need to go to bed ghh... anyway!!

we left late bc i couldnt decide who to cosplay n i arrived late :(( anyway, it hadnt been 5 minutes there when i dropped my plastic purple heart ring i had from the dentist n i was so sad :( but i went to the bn-ha panel n i dont remember a lot of it sry. i remember iida wore a giant floppy sunhat that said Sunny Vibes on it tho n momo wore a black n white striped dress w sunflowers!

After this was cafe-stuck and it was fun! everyone kept calling jade a furry n i asked nepeta if she’d ever seen Nyan Neko Sugar G!rls to which she said no n someone asked her if she’d heard of/seen nek0para n she said she’d heard of it but it was “a bit.. too Extreme/Much for me.....” and someone asked the group (vriska, jade, john, dave, nepeta, tavros, aradia) why they were doing this and they said it was equius’ and john’s (i think?) prank that got way too out of hanf bc kanaya made the outfits for reals. someone asked vriska if she was a furyr cuz she had a spidersona and throughout the panel vriska and tavros kept talking abt how vriska took away his legs/him not having any. i asked the aradia n vriska if they’d work good together to make a good hall0ween themed cafe if this cafe were real n they were like “what’s hall0ween?” n the others told them it was a holiday that had candy n dead bodies n stuff! n someone asked abt who has the least human rights or just rights in general n john was like “jade u dont rights, ur an animal” n jade was like “trans rights”.

i decided to skip the d-dlc panel bc i didnt rly wanna write poetry cuz i do that at home n i dont rly care abt theories n discussing stuff like that so! i went walking around the dealers room n stuff. my crown actually came off at this time n i remember feeling like my crown had fallen off bc i thought i heard the mini whoosh it makes when it falls down but when i looked behind me, it wasnt there so i checked the aisles nearby n it wasnt there so i assumed someone had snatched it off my head but after a lot of walking, i found it half-underneath a con table w black tablecloth?? so i picked it up n went to the cosplay help desk and the guy safety-pinned it to my wig so i was all good to go!!

after that, i tried to look around to see if i could find any ens-tars cosplayers bc the meerup but i didnt see any so i was like oh well whatever im going to the LL panel anyway. so i went to the aki hana panel n i have videos of it! so im not rly gonna talk abt it. they played kings game there tho and “who’s most likely”! they said “who’d like an!mal crossing the best” n my immediate thought was rin so i raised my hand but the answer they had thought of was kotori, which actually makes much more sense haha. they said my answer was valid tho. i still got candy for answering! anyway the punk set ruby next to me ended up being the hifumi from yesterday that gave me the flower tin n they said it was nice to see me again n i said i wasnt able to go to the ES meetup bc i was only told when it was, not where it was, n they said that Eri/Eli (?) 9im guessing that was the host of the meetup) had to cancel it n i went oh. at the end of the panel i received a kotori pic! also a girl dressed up as a witch complimented my tsukasa outfit n i knelt down n said “thank you, princess” or smth i was like “i had a ring that i was gonna use to like. pretend to give to pretty girls but.. i lost it” n they seemed flattered but we parted ways!

after this was the aqours panel n the hanamaru did a dance n the you also did one but then they started playing the p0cky game n Headphones n i got kind of bored so i left n i heard “tsukasa!” n it was the jakurai from yesterday (that told me abt the meetup) dressed as mao in a yukata w their friend as oni ritsu n they looked so good! the jakumao apologized saying the meetup was cancelled. i think we talked for a sec then i went to go check out the rw-by q n a n it was a whole lot of roasting from the audience haha bc they did questions one at a time (ex: questions for yang, now questions for blake...) n i asked yang how she gets her hair so nice n she went “...nice?” w an unbelieving laugh/tone then they moved on n i was confused but oh well! they asked summer how she felt abt sloppy seconds bc taiyang n how taiyang’d feel abt a 3rd wife n nora got asked how many pancakes she could eat at a time n she was like “how much time do ya have?” n after the qna they started playing a weird game n it was rly boring so i left but the panel was almost over anyway.

after i left i ran into a ramuda n they recognized me as tsukasa n they’re into ES n they said they hadnt watched the anime yet n they were surprised to see valkyrie in it bc they thought they werent gonna b but they said they hope the anime doesnt butcher shhu bc they like shu n know a lot of ppl hate shu n stuff. we talked abt the ES cosplayers at the con for a bit n i told them abt the ritsu+mao cosplayers n we had anice time talking n they said they rly liked rabits n i was like oh dude me too!! “i havent met anyone who hates ryu-seitai. like, Good.” n they were like “how could you hate ryu-seitai, they all wanna b nice n make friends” n i was like “yea mayb except midori” there was more but yea! i also ran into the witch girl n her friend from earlier bc they went “tsukasa!!!” n her friend (cosplayin smth from hn-k) showed me they had/got a leo plush n i was like “OH MY GOD. HE’S FINALLY BEEN FOUND!! HOLD ON CAN WE HAV A PIC W IT” so we took a pic of the leo plush beside my “where is leo??” sign like!! hell yea! n i was like “leo needs to pay child support. he’s evading his taxes. tax fraud” or smth around this point i think. at some point, on the escalators, i noticed a juto n a samatoki but when they got off the scalator they were heading for the exit so i couldnt rly ask for their pic so i decided to try n find em later.

then i went to the bn-ha panel but it was full to the BRIM but i made the mistake of sliding into the middle of an empty row for a good seat but the prson sat in front of me had big poofy hair so i couldnt see like half of the characters n ppl filld all the seats to my left n right so i couldnt leave. i was rly bored n trapped so i went on my ipad for almost all of thepanel n read part of a chiana/zu fic n stuff until the girl w the big hair left then i focused a Little more on the panel but i was still bored so wehn i noticed the ppl to my right all leave except the one guy next to me, i left the panel. i was sad bc at the time of that panel, there was a DR murder mystery panel that i couldve tried to attend instead but i was trapped so i couldnt :((

after that i decided to wander around for a bit before idolfest but when i went in at 5 pm, i 4got just how small that room was n how few chairs it had, n there were ppl standing against the walls so i leaned my sign against the right of the double doors BUT I LOOKED AHEAD N THERE WAS!! A HYPM!C PERFORMANCE STARTING TO HAPPEN!! DIVISION RAP ANTHEM WAS STARTING UP N MTR WAS ON THE STAGE!! but there were tall ppl standing in front of me n i was crowded against the back so i raised my ipad way above my head n started recording n watched them thru my ipad util someone opened the right door n i had to scramble tog rab my sign n lean it against me somehow n it made my fildiming falter but!! god i was just so exciting bc i wasnt expecting A HYPM!C PERFOAMNCE!! they did so good too ;w; after that, it was a solo hanayo perfoamnce then 3 songs from a non-anime-specific idol group that did 3 voca songs (one of which was LUVVVORATORY!!) n another non-anime dol group that did kpop songs (they were rly pretty n good) n then a you solo then a you/hane duet! ALSO during the hypm!cperformance, te juto n sama n a gentaro were dancing in front of me n right after the perfoamcne, a BB group opened the door but realized they missed the hypm!c performance n left n i decided to try n find em later too.

after the last performance, there was still time, so a samus came over to me n asked to take a pic of my sign n they said they like ens-tars too n they said they cosplay tsukasa too n they ran a panel as him back in georgia n we talked abt best boys n i showed them all the keychains on my bag n when i pointed at mika n said 2nd best boy they went “:o me too!” n there was a lot more said but we went on talking for a while abt ens-tars n they showed me pics of the tori n arashi cosplayers that day they saw.

after that i just walked around for like 45 minutes until the samus saw me again n waved me over so i was talking w them n they were apparently drinking alcohol despite being 18 n their friend was 23 n we were just talking abt stuff n i noticed a trigger group on the escalator n we called out to them n i took their picture n samus was like “dude it’s so cool that ur into id0lish7 too” n then we kept talking n at one point the samus was like “tsukasa i luv u” n made a lil finger heart n i tried 2 make one but my hands were kinda full but i managed to make one! they also said earlier today, they saw a sasuke cosplayer getting arrested n they took a pic of it for their snapchat lmao n it was them in front of a cop car n they said the person said “dont touch me!!” to the cop. the friend w samus said the only idols he knows were the combie one n that saki was def best girl hands down like, its a fact n i was like “ur right. it not even a hot take, its the Facts.” anyway then i wnted to walka round a bit more so i did n at like. 7:10 i decided “why not go near the photosoot area n registration to see more cosplayers that r there bc ive just been walking repetitive loops around the dealers room entrance n the con floor so! there could b some new cosplayers there! n lo n behold i found a tenn n ryuu that i had seen briefly earlier! n took their pic! then less than a few ftaway, i tried to walk past some ppl but there was a bag in the way so i stepped over it (like, not on it, i mean. like, Over, to avoid it) but i noticed it was an MTC itabag n the person next to it had bunny ears n it!! was the juto n sama i was looking for! so i took their pic n was talking abt how cool it is to see more hypm!c cosplayers here this yr until some guy came up n started telling the samatoki they looked like kaworu n they mistook them for kaworu n they said they didnt kno who i was supposed to b but i looked nice (iirc?) so i left n near the prop check table, I SAW THE BB BOYS! so i ran up to them n asked for a picture n then i started talking abt the hypm!c thing n there being so many this yr when there were none last yr n the jiro was like “aa ur tsukasa” n we started talking abt ES a lil bit n the anime then i complimented their ritsu+mao plushies on their bag n left!

after that i just roamed the halls until 8 pm. then the v0ltron panel! keith n lance hd like, a roasting rivalry going on n keith was like “i keep getting bullied! i dont deserve this!” n i kept askiing questions. me, a green ranger, a dave, n the dave’s friend were mainly the ones asking questions lmao. anyway keithd b like “lance dont touch me oh ew” and i asked keith what his fav anime was since he said he was a weeb n he said blue ex0rcist n i asked keith if hed seen LL (bc LL cosplayers were dancing to the music outside the panel room n i heard it) n lance was like “oh yea, he knows all the dances. he does them in his room” n keith denied it n at one point, i was like “since keith n lance share one braincell, who has it the most” n they said keith. the bonding moment was also mentioned a lot and alluras death n how lance can get much more “game” than keith (like, ladies. sorry im tired they might hav used another term) and an amami in the audience told lance to fortnite dance with him aftr thelance fortnite danced n!! just. a lot happened. it was a very casual-ish panel imo. haha.

after that i 4got that the bn-ha panel was at 10 not 9 so i just decided to wander then hit up the dance floor for most of the duration n i spotted the juto n sama n a nurse ramuda that i remember the samus talking abt n also someone who looked like the arashi the samus showed me but in an ali!ce madeness returns dress o i asked the ramuda for a pic and then started dancing and the juto got into one of the dance circles n just started going hard as HELL n i was just dancing in the area they were near n out of the corner of my eye i’d see juto just absolutely KILLING IT w their dance moves bc they were dancing in front of their friends (occasionally w samatoki or posing w them) n i was just jamming out n during a slow song i pulled up a pic of chiaki on my ipad n started slowdancing w my ipad n the girl near me was like “that’s a Mood” n i think i heard the possibly-arashi n the others laugh a bit bc i was slow-dancing w “chiaki’ haha but god the dance floor was WILD! there was a guy w a saxophone at some point playing along w the music then a guy w a guitar! n we yelled lyrice to dont stop believing n stuff.

the the bn-ha panel! ...i was bored. most of the time i put tape on my leo sign and looked up wigs on ebay n stuff n sometimes i couldnt hear v well bc i sat near the back. they started up like, truth or dare but w a beach ball to decide who got to ask the dare or w/e? but i noticed a gentaro in the back of the room so i was like “ill just wait until the end of the panel then ask for their picture” then trivia started n they eventually asked what episode dabi appeared in n i was thinking “ep 7 of the most recent season” n some guy guessed that (he was the only one who fuessed) but the izuku n katsuki looked at their paper n i heard them mutter “episode 31″ so after somebody guessed ep 42 n the panelists said ‘”guess between 30-42--” i said ep 31 n went up n got a pack of aiw stickers but i shoulve taken the superhero shirt tbh. aftr that i decided to leave n asked the gentaro for a pic n they were one of the ryuus earlier they said n also a jakuarai from yesterday! they were like “oh! ur the tsukasa i keep seeing/running into!” n i was like “oh! hi!”

idk what convo this was in but someone was like “do u like how they did anzu?” n i was like “oh she’s so cute they rly said Fuck Anzu Haters” n they agreed.

#i shouldve added more but it's 5 am n i need to b awake at 8:10 am lmao goodnight #con diary

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 5 years

Text

Lolll why do i do this to myself

Hello im finna rant abt my night in an effort to get over it. So. Theres this dude lets call him alejandro. He is mighty. Fine. And one day he decided to put his phone number on my pizza box. I didnt recognize him at the time. This was in mid september. Its december 5 rn btw. Like when he put the number on the box, i hadnt seen his face but i was like. Ehhh lemme entertain the idea. Ok so i texted him right. He was funny and we small talked. Then he kept asking to meet up, and me being the weenie i was, i was hesitant nd would make excuses. So one day he just didnt respond anymore and i was like ok its chill. Bc i thought he just wanted a fuk and im not like that lol (hypocrite). Fast forward like at least 3 weeks later. (So me and my bff here would go get pizza at this place b4 our bio tests. So the first time i went nd got the # was before our 1st bio test. This fast forward is the day b4 the second bio test). So we go in nd get our pizza and we chillin. Btw i completely forgot abt this dude. Nd i didnt even know what he looked like so i didnt expect what came nxt. So i get up to get water and this low sexy ass voice comes up behind me and says my name. And me being dressed so gross look at him and am all confused and shi. He explains who he is and then im like oh fuk he actually hot lmfao lemme actually pay more attention (Shallow ik but it be like that). So im like fuk fuk he fine. He tells me that he lost his phone and so he lost my number or whatever. He is a fuk boy so i didnt trust anything he said to me and i still dont. But he asked for my number again. And i was like sure i got nothing else to do. So we talk and end up meeting up after his shift the next week on a tuesday i think. Its like 11 at night too and we go out. I looked good tbh and he just came from work. He was "nervous" or whatever lol and i still didnt believe him bc i know his type, aka saying anything to get in ur pants. But again, i was just being entertained by him and the idea of him. Bc have i mentioned that he is hot yet? Well yeah. Reason enough to entertain haha. Ok so anywayyy. He is like "i had a few drinks to loosen up a bit bc i am nervous and u r so beautiful" and i was like lol ok ma dood is rlly tryna get somewhere. I met him with no intention of having sex. So like i was just laughing everytime he would be like that. He was like i have a dog and that hooked me in. He was like "we can go to my apartment so you can meet him" and i was like uhh ok hahahhaha just cuz i wanted to see the dog. (Yes im big dumb ik but he seemed chill and i didnt think he would take advantage of me and anyway i know how to fight and wanted to see his dog). we went to the bar he works near cuz he said he wanted more drinks and he had to give some dude something. We were sitting at the bar and all of a sudden he gets a call from someone named "lola" with heart emojis and kissy faces. So im like uhhh tf lols. I make my friend call me and i change her name in my phone to "antonio" with the same emojis. And tell her to call me in 5 min. So when his chick called him he grabbed that hoe and silenced it and put it in his pocket. I ignored it bc i didnt want him to think i was looking. Then she kept calling until he said he needed to take it and he went outside. So when he got back i got my friend to call me. When the "antonio" pulled up on my phoen i turned it around real fast and put my phone away. I didnt know if he saw it but i felt content. (Petty i know). We kept talking like normal, no mention of two names. So we finally got in his car to go see the doggo after an hourish. Side note. So he wanted to fuk me. I could tell very clearly. But i still said no. He asked to kiss me in the car and lemme tell you. This man KNOWS how to fuking kiss. Dam. He asked me and i was like ok then do it. And ugh worst choice of my life bc i literally dream of his kisses. Ok so we drove to his appt. He was tugging on me, pulling me by my jeans belt loops to his actual door step when we got there. Fuking hot af. Dam. And he was just being so sexy the entire night it took so much to be controlled. On the way to drop me off i asked him if he had a gf. And he was like no. And he asked me the same thing and i said no too. Then i said dontchu lie to me. And he was like u either. Then i wAs like im not lying. THEN HE ASKS "WHO IS ANTONIO THEN" and im laughing inside bc im like this bich rlly saw after less than a second of it pulling up on my screen. So i ask "who is lola" then we both just sit there. I couldnt say antonio was a lie bc technically i was talking to a guy named antonio we just werent official. But ok so that was the intro to that whole issue. Later when he was dropping me off...( we stayed in the appt for like 20 min btw, i saw the dog and we brought him with us and he changed bc he smelt like pizza from work) so he parked his car and basically we made out for hours in the trunk of his car. Again. Great . Kisser. And so am i hehe so it was fun. Ok so the next couple of days we hung out doing the same thing for hours and on that thursday we went out out. Aka. I got dressed up and we got drinks. He is older too so he bought me drinks and i got tipsy. He was smoking he hotboxed his car like a stupid when we were parked. The security guards showed up and asked if everything was good and they smelled the goods and i got so scared lol bc i was drunk and there were the goods on school property. But it was all ok thankfully they just asked us to move. So he moved and we didnt go to that spot again. But when he dropped me off he was lying to me. He told me he didnt have a gf but he was still doing gf things with lola. I told him i didnt care as long as he was honest. But he was lying so i got annoyed and left the car. He pulled me to come back in but i didnt let him. I went to austin that weekend so i didnt talk to him then. So i texted him bc i was in a mood and wanted to kiss him bc its addicting and we hang out that next week. Same thing. We park the car. Make out intensley in the back of his car. Get near sex but never there bc i dont trust the dude that much. THEN WEDNESDAY WHEN WE HUNG OUT. WHEN HE DROPPED ME OFF. HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME NOT TO CATCH FEELINGS WHICH MADE ME MAD. SO I LEFT. By this time we had talked abt my view on relationships. He knew i didnt want one and that i just liked kissing him. Plus i knew that he had lola nd i am not in the buisness of competing for a relationship i dont even want. I just liked him for sex things, in no way did i want more. Which he knew bc everytime we hung out we would make out yeah, but also talk bout shit. He told me that lola apparently thought they were dating just cuz she assumed so but he nvr asked her out or to be gf Nd bf so he didnt consider them exclusive but he didnt want to tell her upfront bout me to spare her feelings. (Stupid logic. Ik) but imo. He digs his own grave, if he doesnt mind being in that complicated position, imma use him for his good kissing nd buying me things. :). Ok so that wednesday he said that shit to me was halloween btw. That thursday i textd him to hang bc. Well yanno. He told me he was busy but he would let me know.ME BEING A DUMB ASS WAITED FOR HIM. But to no avail. He didnt text me back and i felt like shit. So i made my friends go out with me and i drank nd danced my sadness away. Fast forward a week later. Since he didnt text me that night i was like fuck it im not texting him nd he obvi didnt text me like the lil shit he is. Then a week later i get a mf text. from LOLA. She is like. " hi im alejandros gf and incase u dont belive me here are pics, i just wanna know what u guys did" nd i was like lmfao dafuq. She sent me actual pics of them nd i was like uhhh ok sis this is so randome, i hadnt talked to him for a week by that time nd i thought i wouldnt talk to him again. I texted her back saying sorry nd tat i didnt kniw they were dating dating bc he nvr said that. Had i known they were exclusive i wouldnt have messed with him. I responded nd she blocked me? After she saud it was ok or whatever. I didnt say abything rude so idk y i got blocked but anyway. I figured she blocked me on his phone too just cuz thats what she seemed like she would do. Even tho i wasnt gunna text him lol i didnt feel comfy seeing him again anyway plus he told me he was going to europe soon anyway so i wasnt concerned with talking to him at all. Fast forward a lot more to yesterday. December 4. More than a month after i last talkedto him. I thought he was in europe. I was straight chillin. Got finals this week. I went to the coffee shop i always go to.( Which happens to b right by the pizza place but again i thouggt he was GONE GONE and didnt expect to see him ever again tbhh. He made it sound like he wouldnt come back from europe So i knew what we had was a fling which is what i had wanted. I just wanted it to last longer than 2 weeks which was why i was a lil upsetty when he hadnt answered me that thursday.) So im working with my friend carter and im talking bout our oral final then i see alejandro walk in nd talk to the coffee shops owner who i had known was his friend but alejabdro dont like coffee so i double nvr thought id see him in the coffee shop. I literally panicked bc i hate suprises like this. I literally knew he was there but didnt say shit to him. I kept working with carter and when he walked out ( since i was sitting by the door already) i looked up at my friend but didnt make eye contact with alejandro. But he saw me for sure and he slowed down a bit too but didnt say shit. I was meeting my girl squad at the coffee shop later anyway so to see what happened i suggested we all get pizza and split it before we started working. So we went in and i was nervous as fuking heck so idk why i even suggested going there. But anyway. Lemme give names to the two girls out of squad who are the most relevant for the story. We got amy (who i changed contacts name to antonio. She is my bff here) and claire who is one of my better friends too and had known abt my situation with alejandro but who has never seen him in person like any had. (Amy was with me the night he put the number on the pizza box and the other night i saw him for the first time). Ok soooooo he brought my friends our pizza when it was done but i completely ignored him and didnt make eye contact bc im a lil bich haha. And i was tryna avoid him. He literally was staring at my friends. At me. Bc i was facing away from him (thank god) and everytime id look to the side to claire to talk i saw him there just watching me. I needed to refill my water so i waited till he wasnt leaning against the wall staring until i made a run to the water machine. So i run there fill my water and all of a sudden i hear his deep sexy voice. (Fuk i had missed it lmfao). He is like "i get out at 9 can we talk i want to explain it to you. Me and lola had a big falling out and i want to talk to you abt it" i was like fuk fuk. Amy was there and amy dont like alejandro no more bc she thinks he a cheater so i was scared at what she would do to me if i went bc she is very agaisnt him now. But either way i said yes bc i wanted closure and im adumb bich. So i kinda nodded and walked back to my seat. I had drinken regular milk at the coffee shop earlier and im lactosentolerant lols and since i was already hella nervous i had an awful stomach ache so i decided to go to my room. He literally ran after me and was like "yo can we please hang today like i missed you" (lol right) and i was like yes we can whatever blah blah blah. Amy ran after me to see if i was ok and i was like ya im fine. So i met with him later. He picked me up and we went to the bar and drank some. And smoked some. Then went to his appt. I told him from the begining no sex again. And tbh i thought he stopped talking to me after halloween bc i didnt wanna have sex with him. Even tho that thursday i texted him, i was literally planning on doing it but he didnt text me back. So. Anywayyy we went to his appt he explained his fuk up. We had a freaking great time. And i literally hate it bc he knows what to do to me and its amazing. We were supposed to hang out today too but he never called me. And i would have texted him but my number is still blocked in his phone. Either he is stupid and didnt undo it on accident ( which i think is more likely bc he said he wanted to see me again and how amazing i am and blah blah blah) or maybe he just dont want me anymore lmfao. Either way. I wanted to see him today and im big upset that he is a lil shit bc i want my mf fling and to get attention in that way. So yeah. He is still a great kisser. And he leaves for europe on the 16th and my surgery is on the 18th and i cant kiss no one or have sex for a long ass time after that how so i wanna fuk around while i can yanno. Esp with him. So idk what imma do. Uhm yeah. Also he literally shows up again in my life when im just over it or when im super horny. And idk why tf this happens. It makes me so mad bc its awful timing and im just pulled right back in. At least on the 16th im saying bye forever and thats great. Ok story over if i remember more i will update. :)))))

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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continuted hxh thotz

we watched more so i continue my ramblings

so we finished the trick tower stuff and started on the stuff on the island where theyre all hunting each other....wow finally some hunting in hunter x hunter

can i just say....fuck hisoka i hate that guyyyy oh my goddddd hes the worst. i just feel incandescent rage whenever hes on screen vhbjdshfjhbsd smarmy horny clown bitch. looooord. he invokes a similar emotion to part 1 dio tbh....like i lose my domestication when i see both those bitches

oh god that part where hisoka had just spent like hours de-hornifying himself or w/e and he looks all crusty and dehydrated and then he spots that old guy who looks kinda ghibli and he just goes AFTER ghibli man....like hisoka literally had one of those wack ass super detailed faces and just started screaming and running at that guy...like man i wouldve died instantly on the spot. jesus

gon remains best best perfect baby boy. every time he does something so cute and pure that my heart starts palpating, i get even more nervous for the shit hes gonna go thru someday

gon and killua are literally soooo precious theyre just two lil boys!!! two lads!!! lad boys! augh i love how much theyre vibing all the time...like on the boat to the island when theyre like refusing to tell each other who their target is and then they both start laughing and then show each other....so precious

honestly im really enjoying how they dont really have a rivalry (yet?) - theyre not like ‘yes we are friends but we’re also COMPETING! so we cant be That nice to each other bc that wouldnt be fair! or w/e you know that typical shounen stuff. i only enjoy that sometimes and im glad its not a thing rn, and if it does become like that later i probs wont mind bc i feel like itd be done well

so ruth and i caught on to the fact that that weird guy with the pins stuck all over himself was illuminati or w/e his name is (illumi? illumini? i forget already) but HOLY FUCK we both thought he was wearing a mask....god i wish that were the case, that face transformation shit was the WORST. sir why can you do that

also when hisoka just watched this and was like ‘i always like seeing you do that’ or whatever god gross nasty i hate them

my take on the little we’ve seen of hisoka and illumitations relationship: theyre like the catty mean girls-types but Super Fucking Weird. idk if theyre gay togther (probably) but theyd be the epitome of a ‘is this allowed? [gestures at All That]’ couple. i had more thoughts on them but i forgt

i find it funny that they havent shown killua like at all during this island hunting thing hvbhsdhfbjdk he probably has like 10 randos badges already. i feel like he would give gon a badge or 2 if gon needed them but that doesnt seem to be the case

when hisoka spotted leorio and kurapika and went after them i was like [guy yelling NOOOOOOOOOOO meme] freal

thank goodness kurapika could recognize that they would Fucking Die trying to fight hisoka, and bargained w/him instead. also seeing the flashback of leorio trying to fight hisoka was so funny. my man WHAT! were you thinking

this is probably the stage that tonpa is getting out on and can i just say thank god i hate that guy. good riddance

that sniper lady looked cool and im bummed illuminty took her out offscreen :( i also thought the black guy with the beehive stick thing was gonna do more but guess not

i find it funny that so many characters have these loud character designs but end up not having a lot of screentime...i feel like ive been conditioned by one piece to see an eye-catching character and mentally prepare to see a wholeass backstory lol

also. illunikn is clearly a huge freak which is probably why hisoka is willing to work w/him, but his design is weirdly cute sometimes (when hes not doing absolutely freaky shit, which....admittedly isnt often)

like the part where he transforms into his True Cat Man Form and then, without changing expression, digs a giant hole with his bare hands (with the body language of a feral person) and then gets into it to nap.....like.....bro.

also ik illiminini is killuas brother (i think brother?) and wow that family has some strong Cat genes

i find it interesting that hisoka has been working with illiimini this whole time, hisoka strikes me as a solo type of guy who would be all like ‘teamwork is beneath me’ and only have minions (a la dio, espec p1 dio) but he seems to have a fairly even relationship w/illuimian which is wild. i rlly wonder if thatll last or if hisoka is gonna like, murder/abandon ilubimi later bc he ‘gets in hisokas way’ or st

i like that kurapika and leorio teamed up....married

i generally really like how the relationships between the main characters are handled, its sweet how theyre just like....generally nice to each other and stuff lol

also oh my god i forgot that last time i hadnt seen the end of trick tower i need to talk abt that

KILLUA MY BOY OH MY GOD....ive been waiting for this ngl. ily smug murderous catboy

i love so much how killua casually kills this ~*~scary guy~*~ and everyones like :0 but gon is just like yep thats killua! hes from a family of assassins! like the way he says it so casually and kinda cheery aw i love him. he doesnt even care that killua can murder people in 2 seconds flat, he thinks killua is AWESOME

and oh my god i love how hard killua is trying like, all the time. he is trying his HARDEST to be AS COOL AS POSSIBLE for gon and thats adorable. its working too gon clearly thinks killua is SUPER cool

the eternally hilarious part where kurapika asked what killuas secret tactic are re: ripping that guys heart out, and killua is just like ‘uh i just ripped it out. yknow...as one does..’ and kurapika is like wow im glad this murder catboy is on our side..

the psychology stuff in the trick tower was interesting as hell (catch me brushing off my psych minor like, oh yeah i know abt this stuff lol)...i like the stuff abt leorio getting discouraged/disgruntled when the majority ended up being against him a lot bc thats true!! thats how it works!! it leads to learned helplessness and stuff like that...also that animation of kurapika and leorio playing cards to explain the tough candle choice was sooo cute

i really loved the solution to the final majority rule things....ingeniously following the rules while still managing to circumvent them in ways...love it

also gon is so perfect have i mentioned that already

im so curious whos gonna pass the hunter exam, i legit have no idea and i would find it so funny if gon becomes a hunter in the first goddamn arc hjhbdfhsdjbgk as ruth said, itd kinda be like luffy becoming pirate king in like chapter 70

i mean tbf if i had to guess id say gon passes, simply bc i cant see the story taking the time to have him do the hunter exam again in a year. also his motivation is to become a hunter in order to see what its all about bc of his dad - not JUST to become a hunter

gons fishing rod is so cute. perfect item for a perfect boy

his training was adorable. hes a smart lad! formidable baby

the blooderflies were so cool and OH MY GOD how could i forget the part where gon had two blooderflies with little leashes on and had the leashes tied to one of his fingers....OOOUGHHHHGBSJFHSJBFUHEJKSDD bro my heart literally palpated like it does when my cat does something rlly cute, gon is seriously That cute and pure and good

every time hisoka is anywhere near gon i just wanna call the FBI on that clowns ass oh y god. pls leave ladboy alone....

anyways i love the main characters (HISOKA DONT INTERACT) and i cant wait to see what happens next. i might have more thoughts but coherency is not one of my strengths so bye

#lj watches hxh #hollaaaa #more ramblings from me #im too lazy to do a true liveblog so this mess will have to do lmoa #*lmao #i just retyped that tag bc i spelled lmao as lmoa and then i did it AGAIN god fuck this #hxh

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misplacedmelancholy · 7 years

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cowardice, courage

it’s not a rash decision.. it is something that’s been festering in my mind and life the past 3 years, and my state of mind has just been deteriorating increasingly, because im STILL here. i want to stop being passive, stop doing smth which had been a consequence of ill decision making and which i hadnt had the will to terminate. somehow i had fooled my mum into believing this is a worthy path, because im the one who’s enabling this waste of time and her money.

i know where the problem lies: curriculum is shit and i get no concrete value from this education. yes i shouldve been done with it by now, but that’s just not what has happened, my inability to “just get this over and done with” in itself proves my desperation in wanting, but not being able to move on. most significantly, the ennui ive been experiencing is corroding my self worth. knowing the problem, knowing how it’s impacting my well being, knowing the source of my misery, yet having done nothing to help myself out of it.

what happens when im finally done with it, 8000$ + exam fees later, with a (low level) degree i never was invested in? i literally won’t even use it because i know what i want to pursue seriously and “professionally”. it will be useless, and i would have had subject myself to unimaginable inner torment to get there. i say unimaginable bc currently im in the worst state ive ever been (stopped experiencing “recovery” or “betterment”) and i just know it will worsen when school term starts. i can’t even stand the thought of repeating whatever it is we did in school, all over again. i dont wanna lose myself to this.

“find a job first and do what u want later” that’s what my fam says, they’re not the ones who have found a keen interest in things, or a passion for something. (i mean they’re not even liberals) they’re a product of societal conditioning, inactivated self awareness or just not utilised, and i dont want to be just that, esp since i am /the/ rebel in the fam. even in the context of an absurd world and futility, i know what excites me, what gives me vitality, i know what i advocate for, why have i not started doing things for myself and my own life? i want to live for the arts and for moments of connection.

i believe ive met with enough ppl in not just the arts scene, to see the different kinds of realities they live, and these are the ppl i wanna learn from. i have an honest idea of this kind of life, and im ready to live with it if i find myself in similar situations. ive told some of them that i admire them, and ive been given advice. i dont want to meet these ppl 1 year later, and have them tell me the same things. if there’s anything ive gained over these past few months, it’s that i need to stop being an observer, stop doing things i like as a distraction, but take them and myself seriously.

i know all this sounds idealistic and prob unimaginable for u, but ive seen it and i want to make it happen for myself. i can and will do so many things, amanda. right now i wanna be admitted to an arts program, bach or diploma undecided, so i need to read up on requirements, which require a portfolio. ill start looking thru what ive amassed, put some things together- photo series, text, short clips. produce some new things based on ideas ive had, submit to zines and publications, enter photography competitions, volunteer at events (alr signed up for one in nov, singapore writers festival). pick up my dslr again coz i haven’t had the capacity to do it recently. work more shifts at suntec temporarily (to at least pay my phone bills coz my mum says she’ll stop once i graduate so it’s the same), begin to experience the unemployed millenial life. i can look for some other contract jobs (im looking to work at the projector but ill need to work on my portfolio first). i do know some ppl already, and there are always opportunities floating around (lots of open calls). i just need to take this first step. yes ill prob be a failure to my mum, family, whoever, but at least i know ill be doing smth i want, amanda. not just waiting for smth i don’t want to face to be over. ill feel better, at least. and i i don’t know when else i would if not now.

the catalyst for this decision really was a long conversation i had with my friend on friday. he knew id been delaying the checking of my results, and before he left he just casually mentioned “u haven’t checked ur results right”, and i said yes i have. i said ill prob be more depressive once term starts, (we’ve talked abt this before) he said he really thinks i ought to do smth abt it, and i became silent and he sensed smth was amiss and then he talked to me for a loong while. i got a stress headache coz its just difficult. one of the things he asked was “what hurts you the most?” i couldn’t answer so he gave me 3 options: family, self worth, (forgot the last one lol), and i said self worth. this past weekend everything here was all i thought abt (cried, obviously), and ytd i texted him (while at an exhbition): “i realise a big part of my cowardice has been towards my mum. the first step i need to take is putting myself somewhere i want to be, knowing that she has stopped having faith in me and cant support me. it’s what hurts me the most”

#to myself #courage #a

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years

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if you were around for the pre-end-of-mh days you might remember times i like to talk to myself extensively, pointlessly, and dumbassedly about my own thoughts, which go nowhere and solve nothing. literally ignore me, talking about bring me the spider cup, i wanna prank crimmins natcho. my proclivity towards trying to figure out mysteries is matched only by my total inability to do so.

firstly i was like ok, this doesn’t necessarily mean eno knows who this guy is, which i think is true but unlikely. he’s probably met him before and while i think it would be funny if this is all some roundabout unnecessary revenge scheme by someone who considers eno his rival, i’d think it was more likely eno was kind of in a position like wallace where maybe they just worked in the same place. (sidenote: he is so clearly evil how do people share an office with him. please fix this mess jerry)

becoz the thing is it was a bit strange eno said he couldnt take a client via a social workers request with the reasoning that he’d left that life behind him? because he is a therapist now after all. but it would make more sense if he used to maybe be associated with / work for a company like that. i dont even know anything about privatised versions of social work but maybe it could work like that. and maybe he worked with crimcrom because sure, maybe crimmins just murdered his way into head of a company or other unsavory methods, and/or maybe also he has actual experience in the field. because maybe he was working at the same place as eno?

because honestly if i was going to take a very vague guess of where the social work is involved here, its that if youre going to do terrible dangerous medical experiments on people, you take people who have connections without the wealth/time/stability to investigate or else just people who wont be missed at all. people whose debilitating struggles and unstable situations you actually have documentation of. and it does seem like everyone with someone missing was relying on kent and co. to find them, because they couldnt themselves, because their sibling/whomever had been targeted for that exact reason, that their family/friends wouldnt have the means to find them. probably this has been going on for a while and most people are just killed and those who arent are kinda just chucked out somewhere to be found by whoever

anyways, the thing with eno, the idea he was working with/for a company earlier is a bit confusing too because its confusing that kent and yumi were killed but eno wasnt? theres the chance that the attempt simply failed, but i had thought that maybe because eno wasnt the semi-public face of the effort like kent was or an official worker like yumi, maybe nobody who put the hit out knew he was even involved. but since im guessing we’re guessing crimmins was directly/indirectly involved in the Day Of Murder and he knows about eno, thats not true……but then its a bit fuzzier why eno wasnt killed if he wasnt just helping out as a friend but sort of associated with his work, like yumi was. maybe it was part of a longer con, like as might be made clearer soonish. because unfortunately i really doubt crim would show his hand like this if he wasnt secure in everything favoring his schemes currently

it also makes sense that eno had been in a position like yumi’s because im also assuming eno thinks its his own files that someone had got hold of. cuz if yumi and kent had the same papers, surely eno did too. and if he was just keeping them to himself it would be one thing but if he was using them with his work like yumi was, then maybe it happened like he said it did only with his file/company in place of yumi’s. which makes sense coz of why he is so uncomfortable and why he was so surprised about it. probably he didnt suppose it had happened until kip said it did, and he suspects it was on his end that it happened but doesnt want to say it because its unpleasant and because he doesnt want to say it to kip.

i was hoping that gayness would be the wrench in the gears aka kip wasnt supposed to learn of the link between kents files and wallaces, but maybe he actually absolutely was? it would make sense why crimmins was so keen to make sure wallace got kip to work with him. because unless it is remarkably nuanced i doubt part of his plan involves trying to get wallace to directly harm anyone, cuz obvs he wouldnt, he is just motivated to not get fired and hopefully do good work. but it seems like a safe guess that kip would see wallaces papers even though kip really should be getting paid for this, and maybe crimmins was assuming that kip had already seen kents file? because if he had worked with eno and gotten his files, he would basically know what must be in kents files. and it apparently wasnt a secret that the files had made it out of the fire with kip

but its a hell of a con because its like, it seemed like a bonus that kip realized the coincidence, because why would crimmins want kip to suspect that wallace is somehow connected with the scheme that kent was investigating / his family and yumi were killed for? but apparently he could guess that kip would meet with eno about it, because i guess he’s tracking one or both of them. speaking of, im hoping that kip hasnt just gotten jumped. im sure its a concern on the best of days that eno told him to be safe, but it seems ominous

just like it seemed ominous when kip told wallace he trusts eno more than anyone. wallace sure learned a lot in those couple of days, namely: he already knows where kip lives exactly and who with and that they are good friends (not sure how coincidental it is that they live in the exact same building, maybe its just convenient), who kip’s ex-boyfriend is and where he works and who he works with and that he and kip have Strong Feelings for each other, who kip’s therapist is and that he sees him once a week and is a old and close friend whom kip trusts above all others, and i’m sure wallace has been able to pick up that kip has a dead brother and theres a story behind it and its a touchy subject. i mean, that’s mostly completely irrelevant info to put into a report, but maybe not if it was relevant to mention that he was working with kip since after all his boss had told him to. but probably crimmins was guessing that if wallace was making headway at all, he had got hold of kip. and since apparently he has eyes on people, that helps too. fix it jerry

im not thinking that its ominous that kip trusts eno so much because he shouldnt or because eno has been lying all along or something—like, if eno suspects himself for being involved in something now, im supposing he hadnt thought so before or hadnt considered it mattered because everything about how everything happened was moot because nobody was going to be continuing the matter and everyone was leading totally different lives. and as for currently, its not like i think eno is like, having the past catch up with him aka he’s betrayed kip or anyones trust before. i mean maybe eno has some totally unrelated dark secret that can be held over him, but even then i doubt that it would be anything where he would be forced to do something to endanger kip to protect himself. rather, i’d guess he might be given more of a non-choice in which he has to do something that will endanger kip because the threat is of causing kip immediate harm. what seems worst is that crimmins is really showing his hand early here maybe, or anyways, he thinks that theres no possible way for eno to prevent whatever crim wants to have happen. which is like, bad

and if he knows how much kip trusts eno, which he probably does, thats bad too…

if wallaces only purpose though was to show kip the files he had, that also has to mean rousing kip’s suspicion…..also, if kip had known about kents files before he’d seen wallace’s, wouldnt he potentially be immediately suspicious enough of wallace to cut off ties with him? maybe that doesn’t matter idk. b/c tbh it seems like theres only so much you can do w/ wallace while preserving his “unwitting involvement in an evil scheme” status, you cant ask him to do anything non-job related. unless his reports are doubling as surveillance or something. but he wouldnt do anything he thought was harmful or over his bounds. even asking him to get kip involved was weird, but at least crim seemed to accurately count on wallace caring too much abt his job to object with stuff rather than simply doing what he had to to keep it

like, clearly something about kip is important to crim’s schemes but how could i guess what. because im guessing we dont have enough information yet, but even if you gave me the info we have now and told me to fill in the blanks however i wanted, i couldnt come up with anything. im really really dumb as hell and not creative enough to take the ventures required to come up with accurate theories. but ok, medical experiments, it could just be anti-monster, but it could also be pro-human which happens to be anti-monster aka more exploitative. cuz it doesnt seem like theyre “Kill All Monsters” as much as “its fine if monsters die but if theyre alive we’ll just dump them somewhere because we just literally assign them no value unless somehow they’re useful towards whatever’s going on here.”

coz kip has two powers: 1) he’s a beloved semipublic figure, and 2) ice and he’s cold

and he has one majorly exploitable weakness in that he’s very afraid for his surrogate family, generally more scared than the average person of being murdered horribly, and knows he has good reasons for that and also trauma

but it seems like if crim wanted to get hold of kip by threatening his loved ones, he could do that at any time? why would wallace need to be involved at all; he wouldnt. why does he need to tip kip off about his own schemes. why did he need to wait five years? why has there been this five year gap? simply development of the mystery scheme? or is it because kip has moved back to c and/or because kip is a semi-public figure again

coz reading between the lines but im supposing that kip had earnestly and strongly intended to follow in kent’s footsteps but was presumably discouraged from this when his family was murdered. but even tho he only told wallace about moving back to c because roy and molly missed it, in the intervention that gets sprung on him and other hints, it sounds like kip still considers himself dedicated to helping people like kent did, which is what his sjw blog is, but he’s majorly aware of the danger of that and unwilling to get anyone killed this time, which is a major limitation, seeing as that happened to him before and everyone is disappeared all the time w/o repercussion. except the repercussion of one tiny group of people who look into it and get murdered, except for eno

but also kip must not have been doing any Helping The Public stuff before he moved to C, because when he says he has to help wallace to justify having thrown so much away, and considering how he’d lost so much in the fire, presumably what he’s thrown away is his life with pascal. im guessing he couldnt have made roy and molly split from him even if he tried, but pascal apparently could be parted from. for like a week, but whatever. he’d been dating pascal before the fire, but if he hadnt been involved in any position of openly helping monsters before the fire and hadnt before moving back to C, that explains why he tried to convince pascal not to go with them.

anyways, uh, see ive lost track of what i was saying. that, while kip is so afraid for the safety of those too close to him, he can also be pressured into a riskier position. but thats by his friends and himself. but maybe if he’s going to be given false information he thinks is from eno, he could do other risky things too. cuz i doubt theres any real protection, as if kent and yumi and eno werent trying to be safe. im guessing kip’s just trying to keep his head down and his cards close to his chest. its frustrating because technically he was right to be immediately suspicious of wallace to the point of associating him with the death of his family and being afraid of helping wallace, but not because wallace’s personal intentions arent good. but still its going to be really awkward if kip gets an idea of what wallace is associated with. cuz its an extremely delicate process that would allow wallace to figure out what was going on and break the news to kip and have kip trust him, so delicate that i doubt it exists and anyways the odds are not in its favor. but its frustrating because i want people to not be friends and not feel betrayed by their bosses and each other and even better, to be friends working together to resolve murders and an evil scheme

anyways. what does crim need from kip. stuff he knows? i doubt he’s trying to corrupt kip’s blog, or otherwise exploit the fact that kip’s probably a trusted community figure. for starters, crim’s already been getting away completely with abduction, murder, arson, etc, for years. unless theres some new Phase of the plan that requires something new. but again, it seems like a big ol coincidence that kip and co moved to C five months before wallace was moved into their exact building with the goal of getting involved with kip, tho wallace obviously doesnt know about all that stuff yet. why does it matter that kips in C. did crim not know where he was prior? did he need kip to be involved in the public sphere so that he could catch hold of him by sending out a social worker too naive and earnest to focus on the suspicious evilness of his new boss? did he just not need kip yet???

it seems strange to consider that crim could like, blackmail or threaten either kip or eno longterm. like, is he about to make a move here. because yeah they both have reasons to be extremely protective of people, which can be leveraged. but like wallace, i dunno how far they could be pushed with doing anything obviously harmful, or doing anything for anyone so obviously evilly motivated. or how long such a chokehold could be maintained. eno being threatened with kip’s wellbeing and being pressured into manipulating kip in one way or another is one thing, and even then how could he be threatened more than once. how could he be expected not to do something to warn someone if the pressing is let up for even a moment? is the point to abduct eno maybe and make kip feel even more afraid, because that would probably admittedly be super effective, but i imagine kip would just withdraw completely from things like being involved with wallace, blogging, etc. but to try to coerce kip into doing something by threatening multiple people is trickier, and what could kip do?

the thing is that i could see kip as being targeted for the ice thing, because thats another coincidence, that he has a really strong ability that seems pretty unusual even for monsters. like, freezing freshly brewed hot tea in a few seconds is really something. and i’m supposing he survived the fire by freezing himself / ice protection, which is really really something. and maybe the fact that he’s also an sjw who’s always scared that someones going to get hurt or killed is just a way to get to him. coz maybe, even probably, kip wasnt supposed to survive the fire, but just be another casualty because crim and co do not give a shit about bothering to spare any monsters life. but the fact that he did, using ice, and that he had his brothers files, all probably wasnt a secret. i mean, the surviving and the files part definitely wasnt, but just knowing the place was on fire and he survived ok probs implies that he had the ability to protect himself somehow, and thats a really impressive ability

so like maybe whatever traits theyre looking for makes kip the ideal target. maybe for once they felt like they couldnt just steal him away normally, but idk why they wouldnt. for example if crim just wanted to kidnap kip, maybe he just has. but that seems like wallace wouldnt need to be involved and eno wouldnt need to be involved and why wait til he’s in C? he doesnt need flushing out to be stolen off the street; he travels to B at least once a week on a schedule and he walks to work.

again, probably theres necessary info we dont even have that will fill in a missing piece here, but even now im too stupid to expand on the stuff we know to imagine up something that would fill in that blank. im too horrible at reading/understanding peoples motivations to even fully Get basic interactions sometimes, and im too uncreative to even come up with stuff like say, guess what crim’s trying to develop over there. maybe theres something about moving from development to initiation that needs kip’s particular involvement (??how??). but why has there been five years of them having been left alone in D, maybe, although how do we even know that

idk all i know is im stupid and i dont like that everyone is going to be even more miserable and endangered and mysteries are a trial for me because i want to die and dont want to have to deal with dying on a cliffhanger, i’ll be an angry ghost. ive probably forgotten a tangent or two i wanted to touch on and that makes me an angry pre-ghost. w/e

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