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because-she-goes · 1 year

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cadillac

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort themes, happy ending, alleged cheating, heartbreak, smidge of violence, swearing, the boys being mad at matty. Enjoy!

Her heart sank. Body dropping to the floor in a heap. A sob wracking through her throat. Her Matty driving around in an unknown city, with a car she didn’t recognize and a girl looking blissfully unaware that the man next to her was in a relationship. She couldn’t believe her eyes, willing them to see differently - maybe she is overtired, maybe too many cups of coffee, maybe it was her period coming sooner than normal and fucking with her hormones. She had no idea what the fuck was going on. She only had a singular idea - to call Danes and see if he knew anything because fuck calling Matty right now, she’ll buckle in an instant and weep as he tries to tell her from godknowswhere that its nothing, that she is just a friend. Fuck that.

Phone rings, once then twice. Finally she hesrs her friend’s voice on the other side. She had known George longer than she knew Matty - the two of them meeting in his music production class during his brief stint in university. They had become fast friends over their love of music and the details of it and how any subtle change could then affect the whole song. She could talk to George about anything and trust he would tell her the truth, even if it hurt her.

“Well, fancy hearing from you! What can I do for ya, Daisy?” The petname he gave her that first day still making her smile all these years later. He was in London, at his apartment currently working on some production stuff for Charli’s album.

“I need you to look at the picture I am gonna send you, okay? I am not fucking around here, George, I am panicking over it right now.” She alerts him, voice trembling. She sends the screenshot from the music video her friend sent her. Putting him on speaker and now pacing around the room nervously biting her nails.

“Oh, fuck.” Is all that comes from him. Her heart sinks. So it is real then, she isn’t dreaming this and her mind isn’t playing tricks on her. “Love, I am gonna tell you right now, as soon as I get a hold of him he is a deadman, yeah? Gonna forward it to Hann and Ross if thats okay with you?” He double checks. This is serious shit, I mean for heaven’s sake Matty and her were practically married - dating for 7 years! And now, he pulls this shit without even the courtesy of a heads up. Oh fuck him, George thinks as he rages.

“Yeah, thats fine! Just am nervous about it being real and all ya know? Like why wouldn’t he tell me? Why don’t I know where in the world he is? He told me he was going to Italy with his family and that sure as shit doesn’t look like it!”

George flips back to the picture, now patching Hann and Ross to the call. Wait a minute, he quickly zooms in past his friend’s head and sees a sign for “Peet’s Coffee”. He is in fucking Los Angeles. “He’s in LA. Theres a sign for a coffee place he likes there behind him.”

She doesn’t know how it is possible, but her stomach drops further. He is across a continent right now and didn’t even think to tell her. He is literally the exact opposite direction of where she thought he was.

“Honey, I am so sorry. We will call him later and see what this is all about yeah?” Ross adds, much calmer than George, but equally as upset at his friend. Adam can’t even think right now, anxiety and frustration eating away at him. “Daisy, it’ll be okay, I will talk to Matty first - he always knows that if I am talking to him its serious. If George calls, he’ll start joking and dancing around the questions. Ross, mate I’m sorry, but if you call him he wont even listen to you about this.” Ever the Dad, she thinks.

Adam adds Matty to the call. “Hey, lads!” He greets in his normal tone. “Matty…. you are in deep fucking shit so you better start explaining to us why there is video footage of you driving in LA with another girl in your fucking car!!” Adam booms, you have never see the normally mild tempered get angry, let alone yell.

“I can explain, I met someone while I was at a party there and I got a bit drunk-“ Before he finishes the sentence, she leaves the call. Not wanting to hear the rest of this, it being too painful.

However, the boys continue to hear him out: “…and I was just lonely without Daisy there that all I needed was just a warm body on the other side of a bed. I promise you, on my life I didn’t do anything. And do you really think I am that big of a wanker to a) live with myself after that and b) drive the girl home the next morning?? Really, guys?” He asks and ya know what, he isn’t lying. They’ve gone down this road before Daisy came into the picture and they all know if/when Matty ever cheats on someone, the poor guy is in shambles for weeks. Riddled with anxiety, self-esteem in the toilet, depression… you name it, he’s got it. At the end of their conversation and once they all come to an understanding that it really was as innocent as he is saying it is, he calls her.

One ring, then two… “Hey, Matty! How is Italy, honey?” She greets warmly, voice syrup sweet as usual when talking to him while he is away. Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt for a bit and see if he comes clean. Bracing herself for heartbreak.

“Hi, baby… look I need to tell you something. I’m not in Italy, I’m not with my family. I went to LA to work on some stuff with Jack for a few days when the vacation ended. I should’ve told you, I know, but I got so wrapped up in the studio and LA and work that I completely forgot I didn’t tell you.”

“Thats okay, as long as you’re safe and okay, honey.” She reassures him, thankful he is attest with Jack and not totally alone out there.

“There’s something else… I went to a party a few nights ago, one Jack mentioned…” She inhales, holding her breath ready to get the wind knocked out of her any second. “I met someone, a girl named Meredith. I was a bit drunk and just missed you loads, so I asked her to keep me company while I slept. She agreed, understanding I am spoken for and she didn’t pull anything. I didn’t either. We just shared a bed. That is all. You can even call her if you want to hear it from her. The number is 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX” He hangs up. Not waiting ti hear her cry, to hear her heartbreak, to hear the sigh if relief that leaves her.

Dialing the number, a girl’s voice answers.”Umm hello, this is Mer, who am I speaking to?” Her voice smooth and soft, Californian.

“Uhh hi, I’m Daisy. A friend of Matt Healy’s and just wanted to ask you something… woman to woman. So, please don’t hold back and be honest with me, at the very least give me that respect.”

“Absolutely, I know Matt. What can I help straighten out?”

“Well, excuse me for being blunt and straight forward with this, but did anything happen between you two? Kissing, hugging, sex? Anything?” Daisy anxiously picks at a cuticle.

“Oh absolutely not! He kept saying your name actually, saying that you guys have been together for ages and he just missed you. He didn’t try anything and neither did I if that is your question.” The girl’s words sounding like music to Daisy. A deep sigh of relief and joy leaves her body, her Matty… her good, sweet, innocent Matty.

“Well, thank you, Meredith! Loved talking to you.” Daisy hangs up as the girl adds a “You Too!”

Calling back the four boys, voice dripping with giddiness, she tells them about Meredith and how everything checks out. He really is innocent. A shit eating grin permanently on her face as she talks.

“Thank Fuck!” George says, no longer having to deal with all of this drama and able to get back to work. “Mate, never do that again oh my god!” Says Ross, hanging up in relief. Adam gives Matty an apology for being so harsh initially and then as he hangs up lets out a “Matty, you are gonna be the death of me I swear.” She giggles.

As for the two love birds: “Told ya, sweetheart. I am a perfect angel!”

“Well, I don’t know about that mister, but never pull that again. Gave me a heart attack!” She scolds lightly.

He already booked his flight back to New York and can’t wait to wrap his arms around his girl.

“Love you too, baby!” He grins and hangs up the phone.

She laughs, collapsing on the couch in exhaustion. She giggles at how ridiculous the whole thing is: her thinking he had chested on her when all he needed was someone else in the bed with him… how perfectly, sweetly innocent. Adorable.

#drew’s writing :)#not matty and nora #matty healy hurt/comfort #matty healy angst #the 1975 #matty healy #Spotify

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un-local · 5 months

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Good luck with grad school!! How about flow, grin, silver, smirk and stare? :0)

Thank you! ... I was like, a B-average student at best in my undergrad... so uh, we'll see how this works out for me XD

Now! Onto the chaos!

Flow:

No hits for flow in my worknotes, but I do have "flowers," sooooo:

MANOR: Strange flowers near ranni? Near her tower, byproduct of cursemark fuckery? Inverse of db roots ⁃ thin, weak blueish flowers? Fuck if i know ⁃ or divine tower

Grin:

M huffs, uneasily: if you’re wrong— (catch in her voice, fist shakes/sways a little) ⁃ Swears theres a shit eating grin on his face, by his tone: mm, youll kill me?

Ah, this is a fun one. From a half-drafted scene where they realize the only way they're getting to the deeproot depths is by getting into a coffin. Magdalene, predictably, does not like this.

Silver:

No hits for silver in any of my drafts. Using the next closest hit, we have:

NAMELESS ETERNAL CITY: UGH! BASILISKS!

Presented without comment

Smirk:

I apologize Mags looks at him incredulously, then smirks Seriously? She says under her breath Nothing wrong with having manners, you know

Currently unplaced, but I hope I can fit in sometime.

Stare:

M stops abruptly ⁃ You did get the blade right Of course I did Both stare at it ⁃ observations here

Wow, Hare. Very writing. much words. So author XD

Thanks anon, this was a fun treat!

Send me words!

(I have wips from FO4, Starfield, and Skyrim being plotted as well—feel free to send asks about those if you want to peek under the hood for my future projects, lol)

#god help me... swrd plot is still a mess #but at least its funny!#ask game #hare posts #still waters #hare answers

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softness-and-shattering · 2 years

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I am ONE HOUR into the Calamity finale; Patia is dead, Loquacious and Nydas are unconscious, Cerrit is over the city somewhere, time is paused for Laerryn who is at 22hp and Asmodeus is playing with Zerxus like a rag doll.

HOW DOES THIS HAVE FIVE HOURS LEFT?! Does that mean *someone* survives that long?!

I mean barely a single second has passed in AN HOUR of playtime. And the entire thing has been entirely riveting!!

Main two thoughts so far (I swear to god do not spoiler anything for me):

1. Brennan. Is. Absolutely. Masterful. As. Lord of Hells. Split second acting decisions when to roar and when to whisper, the mindset of this god and the small human before him. How the interaction went from pain/pity to homoerotic with the gentle caresses to *violent murder and ressurection and spitting in his face*. Just wow and aaaahhhh

2. AU where Portia survives and spends the rest of her days teaching young wizards; over-correcting so young people have all this secret arcane knowledge but they need it id theyre gonna survive long. And she becomes this legend who might visit your town and give you a slightly better chance to survive and she just wears rags and drives herself to absolute capacity, and no matter how long she lives she'll never make up for it, no matter how much she teaches theres always more that will never be known.

She has no heroic death. Becomes a bog mummy after falling off the side of the road. Or maybe she goes in her sleep at some nameless crossing, unrecognised when she is found; or perhaps recognised and buried with honours she would never willingly accept.

Or maybe even known, and hated, and driven away, such that she holds on this knowledge and cannot possibly pass it on. Maybe she gives up on that, tries instead to write it down, to recreate the lost library but even for a elf its a task too great for her years. It all went wrong, confined to paper and her mind alone, and here she sits surrounded by paper again, inscribing it again because theres nothing else to do.

Maybe the letters get smeared and the great name of Po'rco becomes Orco and myths arise, and a thousand years later some weary adventurer stumbles ass-first into the Orco Library and discovers secrets beyond their Age's comprehension.

Anyway, off to see how everyone else dies now! (Except Cerrit's kids, they better fucking survive).

#exu calamity spoilers #exu calamity #exu spoilers #go ahead and use that for a homegame if you want #i think that would be super cool #so excited to see how everyone else dies laugh sob #Lou truly is representative of how everyone is feeling #CALAMITYY!!

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voidselfshipp · 2 years

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Goodbye old bad memories, hello New good memories

Cw: swearing, mentions of an orphanage, alusions to being an orphan

Only mutuals allowed to reblog, nice comments are appreciated.

Summary:Ashton Broods in silence over bad memories that came back since now he was back to the city of Bassarus, the place where he was raised,but his lovely s/o reminds them that theres always the possibility to replace those bad memories with New, better ones.

Taglist: @malewifepatrickbateman @tex-treasures @80sboyfriends @mercuryships

--Ash? You okay?-- Jerico called as they entered their shared room at the inn the were staying.

--Oh, babe, hi-- Ashton said sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand scratching the back of his neck.

They close the door behind them and sit besides their partner-- whats up?

The earth genasi leans on their significant other's shoulder-- guess that bein' here again brings some memories..

--Good or bad ones?-- jeri asked.

--Bit of both..-- ash answered-- I dont think im ready to see The Nobodies again...

Jerico nodded and hugged them tightly-- ash, baby, whatever comes of it, ill be there to support you...-- they press a kiss to his temple-- youve grown so much since I met you, you know?, youre nothing like your past self..

Ashton looked at them with glassy eyes, they dont usually cry, but tonight things were different-- we won the race, you and me togheter in a skirmisher, how cool is that?you did great baby...

--You looked so fucking hot too-- Ashton quipped-- what would I do without you...-- he hugs them tighter, being mindful not to crush them-- when I get The Nobodies back togheter, I know you Will be there for me

--If they try to give you any crap im going to jump in to defend you, I know you are the one that usually defends other people but its time you get some support too-- jerico lifted his head up by the chin and kissed him.

Ash kissed back,pulling them into their lap, letting their foreheads press togheter.

-- hey, how about I pack up some snacks and you take me somewhere where you used to hang out, your favorite spot

--That sounds great...-- Ashton said.

Soon they were out on the streets, walking through darkened alleys and other safer parts of town, to then go up to a seemingly abandoned building, sitting on the rooftop of it.

--I came here when I needed a break from the orphanage-- ash commented sitting on the thick rock handrail, jerico following suit.

He pulls them closer and rests his chin on the top of their head.

--This is a great sight...-- jeri said-- but the prettiest by far is you...

He snorted kissing the top of their head-- fuckin' cheesy, I like it-- he muttered.

Jerico caressed their bicep-- you know...theres no reason to not make New memories here...-- they opened up the basket and pulled out a blanket and some hot cocoa.

-- yeah..guess youre right-- ash took the porcelain mug with gem motifs full of hot chocolate-- I think this is a good place to start...

--I think so too-- jeri agreed.

And so cuddling up under the blanket they huddle closer as Ashton starts talking about the Shenanigans him and the nobodies got into in his younger years.

By sunrise both were absolutely tired, they made their way back to the inn and then to their room.

As Ashton laid ontop of jerico, with his face on their tummy and their legs around his torso, he felt safe, comforted, something he wasnt used to.

Jeris hand, though they were fast asleep, rested gentil on the back of his neck, their hand sometimes moving in their sleep, providing Him with scratches.

He sighed, a smile appearing on their lips. Their significant other was right, there was no reason for them to not make New, better memories, and just that night/early morning he realized he made two New good memories.

He won the deathwish race (sometimes he always wanted to participate since he was a kid) with the love of his life (something he thought he would never find), and he shared a night alone with them, telling them stories he never told anyone.

He had a life full of hardships, and though being back to where all began, Ashton realized he wasnt alone anymore, and now started to see bassarus less as the shithole it was, still shitty, but also as a New chance of sharing a piece of themself with their s/o. And that, gave them some needed peace of mind.

He fell asleep with that genuine smile in his face, feeling safe in the embrace of his beloved.

#cw swearing #tw swearing #cw mentions of an orphanage #cw alusion to being an orphan #tw alusion to being an orphan #🔨💎the most precious gem💎🔨

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whoevengaf · 2 years

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Part 2/2 of rambeling about the 2022/23 kit designs

MANCHESTER CITY:

Design: 5/10

ugh its so boring....no collar no nothing its literally just one single piece of cloth?

apropos cloth idk why and how but in every single picture ive looked at it looks like the cloth is not soft but a bit hardish?? it isnt falling normally like what the hell is going on...looks a bit like a newspaper??????????????????

ALSO GET THE FUCKING BADGE AWAY FROM THE MIDDLE. I HATE IT. I HAAAAAAAAAATE IT

Cut: 6/10

boring boring booooring. however. because it is just one piece of cloth it does look compfy

also looks like it would sit on your shoulders nicely

Colour: 8/10

what if i said...that i like the dark red???? the dark red white dark red collar/ sleeve ends are actually really pretty sorry but i like them a lot

now the general light blue is freaking me out a bit like i swear that its bluer than usual....

Overall: 6/10

I would have made the blue more pale and also put the badge ON THE HEART. WHERE IT BELONGS

id also have made the red/white/red stripes all a bit bigger

maybe a different collar? hmmm no i think this ones alright because of the colours it looks normal

JUVENTUS:

Design: 5/10

uhmmmm same problem as with all adidas shoulders: looks like it would crease really badly and sit uncomfortably

its actually so bad NOT (only) because of the WEIRD design of the horizontal stripes?? but because theres TWO types of stripes?? (adidas/sleeve stripes vs horizontal stripes) which just looks UGLY. like the switch from the adidas stripes on the shoulders to the patterned ones on the chest.....feeling kmsy like....like who did this...its criminal

also WHY does the black stripe at the end of the sleeve just stop. why...why like WHY-

ALSO WHY DOES THE JEEP LOGO HAVE LIKE A ELECTRICITY PATTERN ON IT.......ITS THREE PATTERNS CLASHING WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME

Cut: 6/10

same problem as alwayyss!! creasing all around creasing everywherereee

Colour: 6/10

its. black and white. what else do you want me to say here.

Overall: 6/10

boring and boring...and ugly

because i actually HATE wide white and black stripes im alright with these...but make the pattern changes at the seams prettier (get rid of the pattern on the jeep logo...like what?) to achieve this i would have make the seams more round.

also dont make the inside of the sleeve patternless

BORUSSIA DORTMUND:

Design: 6/10

the stripes on the sleeves being as wide as the horizontal ones? impeccable.

uhmmm.....why is the 1&1 logo so highlighted....???its freaking me out actually like i get that the yellow space is also as wide as all other stripes but jesus CHRIST its ugly

they had no problem with the yellow puma with black outline on yellow, they had no problem with the yellow bvb badge with black outline on yellow. WHY NOT DO THE SAME WITH THE 1&1 LOGOOOO HELP

Cut: 7/10

Looks compfy...looks alright? like i dont have anything to complain about here?

the collar looks fine its just a bit smaller than the other stripes which is unfortunate

Colour: 6/10

good old normal yellow and black <33 no disgusting neon yellow <<333

only complaint is: why the white font on the 1&1 logo and white isnt featured anywhere else.....yuck yuck yuck

Overall: 6/10

its pretty basic yeah???

also i would have made the collar a bit wider, i would have made the font on the cursed logo yellow i would have made the black stripes be continuous

UNRELEASED KITS:

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR:

Overall: 6/10

uhmmm... i was going to complain about the neon yellow details on the home kit,,,,but i actually think its kinda cute idk

collar UGLY. im actually going to sue nike

now to the away kit...if this is ACTUALLY going to be the away kit im kms....what the FUCK is that no because WHO is responsible. i cant name everything thats bad about it because it would be a 4000 word post.

get the bird AWAY from the middle RIGHT NEOOWW. WHY DO THE LEAKED HOME AND AWAY KIT HAVE DIFFERENT EMBLEM PLACEMENT????WHAT IS HTHISSS???

OMG I ALMOST FORGOT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW SEETHROUGH IT LOOKS. i pray i pray i PRAY that its just because its a leak but.....i think its actually gonna be made out of plastic foil

MANCHESTER UNITED:

Overall: 7/10

now first of all...why the FUCK havent you released a kit yet....like you really have given up on selling the lie that ur one of the top clubs in england have you??

now....i mean its a bit boring, i would have wished for more yellow details here and there but i do like the white/black/red vibe ig...

i like the pattern on the collarrr i likkeeee the light stripes, like if you want to add a useless pattern to your kit this is the best possible outcome...i like it <3

same problem w the shoulders across all adidas kits btw

#sham!s rambles #design talk

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kakyoiniisms · 4 years

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my mom reeeeeeally wants to move to some small town after I graduate (not after i move out btw. just after i graduate) and im so very against it but I don’t want to tell her

#theres no way im gonna be able to move out for a good while after ive graduated #and i would literally loathe living in a small town so much #like! I would seriously hate living in an all white town where NOTHING happens #like seriously if im forced to live in a town where literally nothing is going on ever i might go crazy #i love big cities so much. theres a lot to do and lots of people to meet #like why would i move to some shitty small town with a max pop. of 1000 people #when I’m already living in a city with a 1mil population that isnt in the middle of nowhere!#like I love love love cities sorry. I cant live in a small town it’d be so stifling #and especially because im gonna be an artist like??????? small towns are the WORST place to get my name out there wth!#if she really does it im living with my dad i swear #also im not like. panicking over this its just a bit :| to think about #also all my friends are here and i dont think any of them are planning to immediately move so why leave? i have a life here and i love it #ok turns out this town has a population of like. 90k buts thats still small to what im used to

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heyitsyn · 3 years

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Manager!Inarizaki

a/n: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i would put in all the reqs but there were so many people who requested for our fox babies that it would literally take up every space :”) and im happy to comply so here it is

AAAA LOOK THEY’RE SO CUTE OMG LIKE BLS BUT IM A RIN SIMP :’)

alkdfjlsdfi

sunarin simp is typing😍🍃💞..........

ogeiogeiogei

hehehehehe

so im actually just going to include the starting lineup like i knowwwww theres subs but im only most familiar with the regulars :(

okay so anyways!!

now

you might be wondering

how in the hell did you become the manager of these crackheads

from calm papi kita to psycho tsumu,

why are you their manager

you, the cute and shy and innocent not wittle first year, somehow became the manager of the powerhouse volleyball team of inarizaki high

it all started with our dear lovely samu

hehe bet you didnt see that coming

now we all know baby samu literally is the biggest foodie in the team and he constantly thinks about food 24/7 therefore there isnt much room in there for anything else except for volleyball

basically,

the dude loves to eat

it just so happens that you made food

your family owned a cafe down the street from the school and you worked there after school to help your parents

now how does this tie in with samu you ask

this chile was so hungry that he had to skip practice

sending kita a quick text about doing a quick errand, he walked down the street on the hunt for a quick place to grab a bite

he totally ignored kita’s warning of cramps if he ate a lot then practiced but whatever food is life

it just so happens he stumbles upon your family’s cafe

when he entered, the smell of bread and food entered his nostrils causing this baby to just float right in

you were manning the register while your brother was at school so you smiled at the incoming figure of this familiar boy

and because you recognized him, you couldnt help but grin and gasp a little

‘oh! miya-senpai!’

you exclaimed and osamu was confused because he’s never seen you before but he thought you were probably a kouhai in school

you looked young and definitely not a face he’s seen before so he concluded you were most likely a first year

and you were really cute

like really

really

cute

that thought caused this babe to blink awkwardly and nod at your direction

‘uh, hi’

he greeted and you smiled at his awkward nature

‘what can i get you today, miya-senpai?’

he must’ve been busy looking at you to actually look at the menu behind you and he fumbled, rushing to find a food to get

‘wh-what do ya recommend?’

he asked and you paused then thought deeply

‘hmm, we have onigiris freshly made! and we also have milk bread thats really good!’

did you just-

did you just say onigiri?

‘yea ill take some onigiri’

he decided and you lit up

‘perfect! the total is-’

he completely blanked out because wow your smile was really pretty

‘miya-senpai? miya-senpai?’

you called out and he snapped out of it

‘oh, sorry, here’

he gave you the cash and you gave him back his change before wandering to the glass case where the savory foods were placed

you seemed to glide over and osamu watched you with fond eyes, interest bubbling in him

there was something about you that made him curious

but he just didnt know what

it confused him because maybe you were just someone he hasnt seen before and not the same fans he sees all the time

‘you’re really lucky, miya-senpai. i just finished making them minutes before you walked in’

you commented

this took him aback

‘you cook?’

he suddenly asked and you chuckled, soft and airy laughs filling the air

‘of course, senpai! learning to cook is an essential for a business like this’

and thus created a beautiful friendship

he would come over to eat nearly every day of the week while you would happily serve him

sometimes, he would even buy extra so you could eat with him

while you were talking, he noticed you lacked the accent others from there had and he thought you were not originally from hyogo

he learned that you were actually from miyagi and you moved here just this year

‘so, how ya liking it ‘round here?’

he asked one day, after swallowing his food

you thought about it before shrugging

‘i mean, its still the countryside so i guess everything’s the same. maybe the dialect? my neighbors have strong accents, haha’

samu chuckled

‘its common over here. ya sound a lot more from tokyo. my best friend’s from there, ya see’

you raised an eyebrow

‘hm?’

‘rin. suna rin is in the team and hes from tokyo so he sounds like a standard city boy. ill take ya to meet him sometime’

nah he really wasnt

he wanted to keep you away from the others as much as possible, especially his brother, because he was a greasy mf

but that didnt really work out into plan because you approached him in school the other day

you saw him and you hurriedly ran to him where he stood with his twin and some guy

tsumu saw you coming from behind his brother and he smirked before nodding at you

‘samu, ya got a girlie running for ya’

samu turned, confused, until he saw your adorable face

‘y/n. whats up?’

you grinned

‘you left your team jacket, miya-senpai’

the red jacket was clutched in your hands and the two boys behind him shared a surprised look because osamu never mentioned a girlfriend

and with the way you were holding his jacket, the two boys immediately jumped into conclusions

well

more like atsumu started whining at osamu for not telling him he had a girl

‘i thought we were brothers! brothers for life!’

samu just awkwardly stands there and he has a sheepish look in his eyes that were looking at you apologetically

‘sorry about him, y/n. but thank you for returning it’

you handed him the fabric before smiling

‘it was a good thing you had a spare one for me, miya-senpai. who knew the rain would come so suddenly’

osamu sighed then playfully poked your forehead with his finger

‘how many times do i have to tell you to call me by my first name? i really dont want to hear anything that associates me with this bastard’

atsumu socked osamu at the shoulder causing the gray-haired boy to look away from you and start yelling at his brother

‘touch me again! see what happens then!’

‘yer just showing off for yer girlie! ya aint doin nothing!’

suna shook his head before turning to you with a sympathetic look

‘you really want to be with this guy? him and this idiot are practically a package’

you tilted your head

‘im,,, not with miya-senpai?’

suna blinked

‘but he gave you his jacket. he doesnt even give it to me. i guess its not part of best friend privileges’

at the mention of best friend, you lit up

‘oh! you must be sunarin! the tokyo boy!’

baby rin choked a little at the sight of your grin and he scrunched his eyebrows while awkwardly raising the corner of his lips to a smile

‘you,, uh,,, you know me?’

like it was the most obvious thing in the world, you nodded

‘at first, when miya-senpai told me, i didnt know who you were. but! youre actually very popular, suna-senpai! too bad i never saw you until today, though, because we’re in different floors. but! a lot of girls talk about you!’

poor rin didnt know how to react to that because he didnt want to look flustered but he didnt want to look cocky either

so he just opted to smile gently

‘oh. well, in that case. let me introduce myself to you. suna rintaro’

can we normalize suna being an actual nice guy instead of the cold stand-offish player bastard?

you shook his hand and said your name as well

like samu, he asked you to call him by his first name too since you were close to his friend therefore should try being close to you too

speaking of samu, him and atsumu reduced the violence to just bickering and they were still teasing each other even after you and suna talked

the coochi bangs boy rolled his eyes then slapped atsumu’s arm to gain their attention

‘yo. theres a girl here. try and be nice and civil’

atsumu seems like he forgot your existence because his eyes brightened at the sight of you

‘oh! heya!’

you nervously smiled at him because his hyperness and overall atsumu-ness was quite overwhelming

‘h-hello, miya-senpai’

atsumu pouted at how apprehensive you sounded

‘eyyy, why are you being nervous, girlie? im just samu, yanno! same face and everything!’

osamu knew you well enough that you were kinda awkward and you didnt know how to approach a hyper person like his brother so he naturally saved you

‘hey, y/n, the bell’s about to ring any moment now so try to not be late and ill be sure to see you later. do you want me to pick you up from your class and we can walk together?’

to you, it was just a simple offer from a friend but to the two, that was the confirmation of your relationship with the wing spiker

‘wahh, atsumu, your brother really is better than you. he knows how to treat girls good’

atsumu took offense to this

‘excuse you! i would be too if there were genuine girls in this school!’

osamu’s aggressive blinking was his signal for you to hurry along and you noticed causing you to chuckle before bidding goodbye

‘it was nice meeting you, rin-senpai. and,,, you too, miya-senpai. samu-senpai, later at 3?’

osamu softly smiled while nodding

‘later at 3’

the TEASING HE FACED from the two was unbearable and despite the amount of times he denied it, they were still teasing him

‘samu’s got a girlfriend~! samu’s got a girlfriend~!’

‘tsumu, i swear to god if you dont shut your trap’

‘imagine having a girlfriend’

true to his word, osamu was waiting for ya at the bottom of the stairwell from the one that led to the second floor, absentmindedly kicking some invisible thing in the floor

you were fixing your bag straps on your shoulders when you saw him at the end of the hallway and you couldnt contain your excitement seeing the grey haired boy

‘samu-senpai!!’

you shouted, getting his attention that made him whip his head up

the blank face contorted into a small smile and he raised a hand

‘yo’

when you made it next to him, you were grinning really big and samu felt flustered at your happy face

so he cupped your chin with his large hand that allowed him to squeeze both cheeks

‘cutie’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it, too busy trying to get him to stop squishing

you were originally supposed to go walk over to the cafe but you didnt know that osamu was actually trying to skip practice and he was trying to hide from the members

okay first off, i dont think samu would ever skip practice willingly bc he has the same drive as miya atsumu but he also just wants to spend time with you asklfjldfjdlk

but the loud mouth tsumu saw you guys as you turned a hallway

you were busy talking to osamu about some cooking chef guy gordon and he was nodding and talking but then he heard a loud shout

‘SAMU!’

osamu babie didnt know what was happening so he protectively placed an arm in front of you and hurriedly shoved you behind him in case something happened

duh you didnt know what was happening either so you were clutching his jacket and peeked from his arm to see atsumu stomping over with suna trailing behind him, seemingly texting on his phone

osamu lazily glared at his brother

‘what’

atsumu blanched and sped walk faster until he was right in front of him to yell

‘IM TIRED OF YER EXCUSES! JUST CUS YA GOT YASELF A GIRLIE DUN MEAN YA GET TO SKIP PRACTICE!’

you furrowed your eyebrows

you tugged at his jacket and osamu turned to peer down at you and he gulped, preparing himself to hear your scolding

it wasnt the first time you scolded him as you just told him off the other day for not eating enough vegetables and fruits to balance out his unhealthy love for onigiri and sweets

‘samu-senpai,,, you told me you guys were taking an off week. why are you skipping practice today’

you were genuinely worried and you didnt seem to understand why he did that but the other two did and atsumu didnt hesitate

‘CUS HE WANTS TA SPEND TIME WITH YA, Y/N! BASTARD CANT EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME THE REASON! YER SICK?! WHAT THE HELL EXCUSE IS THAT! YA NEVER GET SICK!’

poor suna is just watching this go down and he felt bad that you were caught in the middle

so he suggested a compromise

you watched sunarin push atsumu’s chest to make him back off and he gently smiled at you before looking at the two

‘how about we all go to practice and if y/n-chan wants, she can wait and osamu can spend time with her when hes done? besides, atsumu, you know osamu has been doing good on his spikes. maybe we can persuade coach and kita to let him off early since hes,,, quote unquote,, ‘sick’’

osamu debated but you emerged from behind him

‘sure! samu-senpai would love to go to practice! right, samu-senpai?’

you smiled at him but it was a stern smile

you just wanted him to go to practice because you knew now of how important volleyball was to the school and they needed to get all their time and energy to win the sport

atsumu agreed to this plan but osamu was forced to accept it

simp

just for extra measure, sunarin and tsumu walked behind you guys to the gym so you and samu had time to talk

you were chiding him of course because why would he waste time with spending time with you

‘just wanted to see ya, y/n-chan’

he winked but you pouted and wrinkled your nose

‘you cant weasel yourself out of this, samu-senpai’

osamu has never heard you scold him before so he was like o.o but inside he was like,,, hot

the gym was already on full practice and kita saw the second years from the door

aran LAKDJFLAKSFJLASDKF ARAN AAAAAAAAAAAAA nudged mimi with a smirk

as much as they loved the underclassmen, watching them get told off by kita was too funny to not watch

but what caused them to curiously peer behind the three was the appearance of a girl

a girl?

‘why’s a girl with them?’

aran mumbled and mimi shrugged, but also intrigued

you were behind osamu and he could tell you were nervous because youve heard of the reputation of the team

they were seen as practically as popular as the basketball team and everyone worshipped them

they were who put the school’s name in the map and you were about to meet the legends of inarizaki

thankfully, atsumu and rin walked to the front of you two so you and samu were at the back

samu didnt look at you but he reached behind him to open his palm as a signal for you to take it

you gratefully grabbed it and leaned closer in case something happens

‘KITA-SAN! WE GOT EM!’

atsumu shouted and suna chided him for being really loud

‘you’re late’

an even voice said in front of them and you leaned over to the side to see who it was from

your eyes bulged out of your head because one, wow he was handsome, and two, he looked like someone from miyagi

YALL KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT BYE-

‘oh wow’

you mumbled absentmindedly and samu looked at you at the corner of his eye before scoffing

your face was totally bright red and your eyes were super wide

kita? really? of all guys? it was kita?

‘SORRY! was samu who took so long!’

atsumu lowered his voice down but he didnt tell the captain of his brother’s plans to skip

‘he has a stomachache and he was at the nurse’s office’

suna smoothly came up with a lie and he might look cool and calm, his hands were clasped behind him with it clenching his phone

your eyes left kita to notice that habit and you had a small smile because it was another reassurance that these boys werent as high and legendary as everyone made them to be

in the end they were still just students and boys

they were still human

‘oi, osamu, who’s the girl?’

aran finally bit the bullet and asked the question everyone has been wondering since the beginning

both you and samu stiffened at the direct question to you but he nodded

‘this is l/n y/n’

he introduced and you raised a shaky hand as a greeting but let go of samu to bow slightly to your seniors

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, i’m a first year’

a few players also raised a hand but it was mimi who spoke at last

‘nice to meet you’

kita nodded at you but turned to the three

‘why is she with you? are you skipping again, osamu?’

again?

osamu inwardly cringed

obviously, kita was sharper than they would think because he easily saw through suna’s lie

he also knew that samu never really got sick

he watched the younger shovel 5 bowls of ramen and still have enough room eat a plate of mochi and he was perfectly fine

it was silent between the four of you and atsumu and suna were looking at each other as they ran out of lies

dang they even planned the entire walk of what to say to kita

you looked between the twins and their friend before speaking up

‘samu-senpai really did have a stomachache. i was-uh-helping the nurse! um, i want to be a doctor or a nurse when i grow up! and-’

you started to ramble but because you were trying to lie and it was never your forte

ALKESDJFLKD Y/N I NEED TO TAKE YOU UNDER MY WING WE NEED TO TEACH YOU THIS IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL OMG

‘we were tryin to convince y/n to be a manager. thats why we took so long’

atsumu huffed

you froze

a what?

a manager?

you were genuinely truthful about wanting to go into a medical profession but not a manager

you were already a manager before and you didnt really want to do it again

kita was inspecting suna’s and atsumu’s and osamu’s faces to see a trace of dishonesty

you saw him raise a dark eyebrow and you knew then that these three cannot tell a lie to save their life

so you nodded frantically making kita look at you

‘mhm! they asked me! miya-san wanted someone they knew already so they asked me because i’m samu-senpai’s friend! so here i am!’

your awkward smile and stiff outstretched arms might’ve seem suspicious but kita moved his gaze from you to atsumu and the blonde nodded

‘yea! ya’ve been talkin bout bein worried of next year cus yall aint here no more so i got sum person responsible enough fer us!’

STOPP I HATE IT HERE I CANT SEEM TO WRITE OUT ATSUMU’S ACCENT LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

after the longest 3 seconds, kita finally nodded and closed his eyes warily

‘alright. l/n-san, come here’

you froze at the way he said your name but suna was kind enough to walk over to your place beside samu to gently push you forward to kita

‘its okay’

he mumbled and you were so thankful because that gave you enough motivation and strength to keep going

your height was staggering between these men and kita seemed to tower you

but you kept an even and calm face

‘yes?’

you asked

kita looked at you and he stared at your face, pupils moving as a sign that he was inspecting your eyes and every feature

oh my god you shouldve plucked your nose hairs this morning

before you could feel more self-conscious, he spoke

‘you said you want to be a doctor?’

‘well, more like a nurse but um same thing’

‘you know medical stuff? know how to treat injuries?’

‘yes. i was a manager back in my hometown so i have experience’

‘where are you from?’

‘miyagi’

‘ya familiar with shiratorizawa?’

you cringed but nodded

‘yes’

‘are you from there?’

‘yes’

the three stooges from behind you had wide eyes at this sudden revelation because that was a school theyve played before

even the last interhigh, they were familiar of how strong that school was

the eagle and the guess monster

and you were their manager before?

must’ve been during middle school as you were just a first year

‘so you know how plays and stats work?’

‘yes. anything you want me to do, im familiar and capable to do it’

god why are you saying this

you didnt even want to be a manager in the first place

yet here you are again

you were getting flashbacks from the war ajkfdfd

kita looked at you silently once more before finally standing up straight and pointing you to their coach who was watching the whole thing with crossed arms and furrowed brows

‘there. talk to him and you can finalize everything. i think its too early to say this but nonetheless, welcome to the team, y/n’

AND THUS STARTED YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE BOYS

akldjklfjsdlakj

IT WAS ALL BUILT ON LIES BUT WHATEVER

AS LONG AS NO ONE DIED ISSOKAY

no but really dont tell lies in general yall, maybe white lies, but try not to do that

OKAY MOVING ON

MOMENTS WITH THE TEAM

duh you are much much closer to samu than the rest of the team so you tended to stick to him more

like you would go to him first if you needed something or if you wanted someone to help you with the crate, he would be your go-to

that would make atsumu whine because he felt that samu was better than him

‘oi, y/n! im really good with ma arms! i can bench 300 yanno?’

you politely smiled and nodded

‘thank you for telling me, miya-san’

then you would proceed to nudge samu’s arm yum to ask for help

butbutbutbut

dont worry!!!!

you do end up warming up to him

for my atsumu stans, yall tend to go to him when samu is either busy or you just need a good laugh

this mans will embarrass himself both on purpose or accidentally to make you laugh lmao

you also have extra bottles for his medicine because he has adhd and the guys are like,,,, yo chill

and duh atsumu would forget to take them so youre practically his reminder

we all know how tsumu was practically attacked that one time when he insulted those girls, right?

yall may have forgiven but i will never forget >:(

well, during matches, you as their manager, always have to tell the stands to be quiet when atsumu is serving

but no one told you this

you kind of figured it out during your time like when his eye would twitch if samu was talking to suna too loudly or when he would close his eyes to shut off his hearing because of the loud spikes on the other side

you noticed it

so you would go to the stands and nicely tell them that if they see atsumu serving, to be quiet

‘i understand you are all excited when he does his serve but we would all benefit more you could release that excitement inside and silently’

*cue atsumu pretending to faint in sunas arms*

OH SPEAKING OF SUNA

YES I SAID THAT I DONT REALLY LIKE FANON SUNA BC,,,

WEED

AND DRUGS

AND RUDE

JUST OVERALL

NOT RECOMMENDED

but canon suna :”)

as a player, suna is seen as really manipulative and snarky and witty

he loves to poke fun at the other team, even his own, and just all-around annoying

but off-court

suna is a very quiet and reserved person

totally different from the one who talks and yaps constantly to the other side of the net

and hes a really pure person in some topics

like he would turn red when you would compliment his new picture that he posted in inasgram

PLEASE SUNA IS TOTALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER LIKE HE TAKES PICTURES OF SUNSETS AND STUFF

or when you would offer to bandage him up for him because it’s hard to do it himself and your hand would touch his

dont tell anyone this but suna is very relieved that you and samu weren’t dating

thats all

thats all for now

;)

OOOO kita!!!

okay so kita is the captain, right?

but he doesnt play

like he plays rarely and aran is usually the on-court captain

this causes you and him to be at the sidelines a lot

he would tell you what he thinks would happen next or what the next plan should be and you would provide your own input

in a way, he was the one who really taught you the mechanics of volleyball and he would tell you the different tricks that techniques that the twins came up with

what makes you really soft and fall for him is when he starts to compliment his players

his pride in aran for being one of the top aces that has led them to nationals

his pride in mimi for being able to go on the longest on court and not be tired

his pride on akagi for being able to receive each ball and successfully give it to their setter

his pride on hitoshi for being the one who could handle the team personality wise and his plans for him to be his successor

his pride on ATSUmu for being the best setter he’s ever seen and his drive to get better no matter what

his pride on samu for being so strong and still getting stronger despite his dream career to be something not volleyball-related

his pride on sunA being motivated enough to help the team and make sure everyone knows that every ball can be stopped

like pls you almost cry all the time when you hear kita saying that because he seems to not say it to the others but only to you

it makes you happy that kita relies so much on these guys as much as they rely on him

OH MY GOSH OMIMI

okay

so omimi ren is a very quiet and calm character

hes kinda like suna where they dont really say much but when they do, its usually important and not irrelevant like atsumu

and he didnt say much when you got inducted in the team as a manager

like he just stared at you and you were just like o.o

ngl he did scare you a bit bc of his tall height looming over you and the way his dark eyes just pierces you through your soul

hes the type that you cannot willingly tell a lie to him bc you know he will find out one way or another

he can see right through you

maybe thats what makes him such a good middle blocker

but you started to warm up to him really quick and he would sometimes walk you home if the others cant mainly bc he knows his appearance will make anyone back off

its the simple things that make you appreciate him

two words: ginjima hitoshi

he is so two-faced

NO LISTEN BEFORE YALL BEAT ME UP JUST HEAR ME OUT

you know how like the 4 second years (PLEASE I KNOW THERES A GUY NAMED YUTO BUT LIKE I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM AAAAAA TELL ME IF YOU WANT HIM IN HERE)

like suna, the twins, and hitoshi

the twins are the annoying ones who causes trouble, suna is the one taking pictures and evidence while cheering them on, and hitoshi is the one trying to break it up

BUT

i think that hitoshi is really the worst out of the 4 and he keeps in because who else would be the responsible one of the bunch

hello? they were about to be third years next year like are we really gonna go on with possibly a miya twin or suna being captain?

so he tries to force down his inner chaos to take on the role of the responsible one

BUTTTTT

you try to release that inner chaos

you sometimes hear him egging on atsumu under his breath like ‘do it’ but quietly so no one hears him

and youre like

?-?

please? we’re not? supposed? to allow? atsumu? to eat? and swallow? a whole? raw egg?

at first, duh he was also like that with you but you want him to be himself and be comfortable with you so you work hard to make him open up

now

you kinda regret it

because he now wants to go through the mcdonalds drive-thru, with no car, just to get mcflurries

you stared down at hitoshi from your bedroom window with a confused expression

‘but? you dont have a car?’

he grins up at you

‘but i got a CART! they said as long as it’s a car and car is in the word cart and the extra ‘t’ is just a bonus!’

‘hitoshi no-’

AAAAAA MICHIMICHI BABY

so akagi is the libero of the team and he is the one responsible for the make sure the ball doesnt touch the ground type of thing

you get really worried about him bc he does a lot of flying saves and his knees always get roughed up and such

so you try and stitch him up as much as you can like you even send him sites for good warm packs to buy

something that isnt known about akagi is that he, like atsumu, really likes to cook

but more like

he bakes

he bakes as a stress reliever and its like his meditation time

you go over to his house a lot to go bake something w him and share it to the guys later on

during ina get-togethers, him and samu are in charged of the food while youre the sous chef

SPEAKING OF SAMU

we forgot about him for a sec aldfjklkfdjlk

it was all thanks to him

because of him, you became a manager despite your initial refusal to become one again

you made friends with more people and you were able to have a fun high school life because of it

because of him

osamu does get a little sad or irritated whenever the guys start to hog you up

like he has to push down the tantrum of ‘I SAW HER FIRST!’

he wants to be the better twin lmao

he gets really butthurt when you would go to someone else even during the middle of your conversation

like he would be talking to you on the side but suna calls you over for tape and youre going

he pouts and atsumu teases him about it causing him to bark at him

LOL HE BARKS

okay so training camp

i think therell be an imagine for this so ill try to not make it as detailed

lets just say its a mess

suna really wants to go hiking bc he wants to go the top of the mountain for pictures of the stars and stuff

but atsumu whines of the bugs and possible creatures in there

this causes osamu to tease him and call him a coward and a wimp

and leads to a fight which aran tries to break up but gets sucked in anyways

and omimi just stands by and watches but he intends to intervene if it gets too much

then akagi gets taken by suna to go the hike with him even though hes scared of bugs so hes whimpering and complaining

while kita and hitoshi are off in the kitchen talking about new grains of flour and stuff

where are you?

youre at the lodge, drinking your f/d (favorite drink) and watching all this go down bc at training camp, it’s every man for themselves

there is a lot of bonding times as a team bc these boys may seem like all they think about is volleyball but they like to do something else outside of that

what they love the most is going to the beach

not only do they get to have fun, they get to relax and see you in a swimsuit alkfdjkfj

especially when kita accidentally falls asleep? they bury him with sand and make him look like a mermaid

because they are players who work out so great bodies duh

and they get so much attention for that

but they all mainly pay attention to you and oh my

youve expressed not being comfortable in wearing a swim suit and watch these guys absolutely start throwing compliments at you

but the third years would softly tell you that it’s okay not to wear one bc all that matters is if youre comfortable or not

HELP I WANT AN ARAN AAAAAAAAAAA

OH SO

we know how kita’s family are rice farmers, right?

well

he farms to help his granny and sometimes, youre the only one who’s free enough to go and help him

so you go over there all the time and granny really loves you bc one, you take care of her shin and thats beyond everything, and two, youre reliable and make shin laugh and such

like one time, you were carrying a basket to the back deck and granny saw you from the kitchen

she smiled before waddling over to the door so she could talk to you

‘y/n-chan!’

you whipped around quickly at the call of your name before grinning and hurrying up to her

‘yes, granny?’

she gave you a bottled water then gestured down to the field where shin was tirelessly tending to the rice

‘please give that to shinsuke. poor boy has been pushing himself too hard with the field and his sport and not taking care of himself’

she chided but there was a certain hint in her tone that made her sound so proud of her grandson

you looked down at the bottle and squeezed it

‘kita-san works hard not for himself, but for everyone else. it makes me sad when he neglects his health and tends to the team instead. so dont worry, baa-chan! i’ll take care of kita-san for him! for you!’

nah bc granny was already gossiping with her neighborhood ladies about this beautiful girl that shin got and how they should be jealous their grandsons don’t have someone like you

OOOOOOO

since your family owns a cafe, the guys goes there all the time

its kinda like the ramen shop for the seijoh boys

they go there mainly to see you even outside of practice ANDDD

they wanna look good in front of your family

like tsumu suddenly knows cleanliness bc he cleans up the mess on the table or kita is no longer an introvert as hes now talking to your mom about the benefits of rice water and her not needing one bc her hair is already beautiful

PLEASE WHAT

and even during the summer, theyve helped out a lot when it was busy lunch times and you couldnt handle it yourself

GOSH IMAGINE SAMU BEING YOUR MOM’S APPRENTICE AND HANDSOME BOYS TAKING YOUR ORDERS WHILE SOME ARE CARRYING HEAVY TRAYS THAT MAKE THEIR ARMS POP

okay imma stop now

OH DONT GET ME STARTED DURING THE DEFEAT WITH KARASUNO

I DONT CARE YALL CAN HATE ME FOR SAYING THIS BUT KARASUNO SHOULDNT HAVE WON LIKE INARIZAKI WERE LITERALLY THE SECOND PLACE IN NATIONALS AND COMPETED AGAINST I T A C H I Y A M A

LIKE WHAT

OKAY ANYWAYS

everyone was already down and moody bc of the loss

and you wanted to be at the back bc you didnt know how to handle the situation

in your time as their manager, not once have you seen them lose

during those 10 months of being a manager, you have not once seen them be defeated during a game even with practice matches

then with those nobodies?

karasuno?

last time you checked, karasuno went down under when coach ukai retired

so having them lose was a real shock

and a really bad event

there was a certain air around you all during the bus ride to the hotel which made the entire time very uncomfortable

everyone finished their crying either in the locker rooms or the bathroom so all that was left was their red eyes

the coach sent everyone off to bed and although they were allowed more days to stay, they all collectively chose to just go home and keep those excused days as a rest day

‘we all would like to just stay at home and recharge’

kita’s request was everyone else’s, even yours, as you were both worried and tired for the boys

so that night, the coaches were able to book train tickets for everyone the next day back home

you stayed up, watching tv in your own room out of boredom because the group chat was quiet and you were too tired to do anything else

the next day, everyone

osamu claimed your shoulder and he held your hand tight with his

his breathing was ragged and even with his closed eyes, the redness around them made it obvious he had been crying

the bus that was filled with excitement before, became quiet and the sound of the engine and wheels took over the silence

you thought samu had fallen asleep so you raised your free hand to stroke his hair

‘hey y/n?’

you flinched at the surprise but hummed

‘imma tell him today. later, but today’

his voice was low and he was murmuring to hint that this was the extra sensitive topic you both discussed a few days ago at the cafe

you nodded but made sure he knew that no matter, he still got you

the coaches were upset and mad at the loss

but in the end, they all realized that this was the last game the boys would play as a team

sure, they could have practice matches and they could play again together in the future but nothing would change the atmosphere and feeling of playing the important matches

this was the team that brought them closest to nationals with placing second out of the entire country

they were a good team that somehow got defeated

but the coaches were still proud

they didnt even yell at the boys to take laps and instead brought them into a team meeting

you stood beside the coaches, your own sniffles with everyone else, and listened to them talk

‘-year has been the most productive this school’s team has had in decades. i hope you all are proud of yourselves as we are proud of you. you lost so you are no longer in the competition and we talk about it tomorrow. but for now, go home and take a rest because tomorrow, we will be running laps and drills and miss y/n will be timing you until you pass out from exhaustion’

you blankly looked at the coaches bc you thought this would be a heartwarming talk but quickly turned into a threat

‘but thats for tomorrow. so go home and rest up. expect what is to come’

you were just wanting to leave lmao

like you wanted to hurry home and make something for the guys to eat tomorrow

just do something to make them at least smile

the guys were quietly packing up and you watched them with trembling eyes at their dismissal

you wanted them to stay longer

stay here and laugh and mess around

like tsumu poking kita and pretending he didnt

or mimi talking about something and aran staring blankly at him but he’s really sleeping with his eyes open and startling him awake

‘guys!’

you shouted

they all stopped and turned to look at you

‘hm?’

hitoshi asked

you hurriedly looked around to find something to stall them here and you noticed the cherry blossom tree that’s blooming

must be the time of the year

‘l-lets! have a-take a picture! outside! by the tree!’

you pointed and they looked at each other

you were acting strangely

but they were simps for you so they just nodded and went outside

they didnt even complain and went to stand out in front of the tree

you had your phone and pulled it to the camera app to raise it to get the team in the frame

they looked sad and tired and worn out but they were still trying to joke around and have natural smiles

‘closer, you guys! bunch in closer!’

you motioned with one hand but they stopped

‘um? y/n? aren’t you gonna join us?’

ren asked but you shook your head

‘its? for you guys? besides, no one will take it for us, silly’

the boys insisted on you prop it up on a bench over there because they wanted you there with them

‘hey, come here! lets all be in it!’

aran shouted and you had no choice but to follow them

the boys had to stand closer to the camera as the bench was a ways ahead of the tree but dont worry, the tree is still there

they wanted you in the front bc they were all taller than you but they really wanted to showcase you

you were their manager and the person who took care of them

they treasure you so much

‘smile!!!’

someone shouted and the timer hit zero and the picture was taken

sure, their school’s motto was that they didnt need things like memories

to not have anything tying you down to the past and to challenge yourself with everyone focusing on the future ahead

in years from now, you could just be another thing from their past and nothing else

but they would be damned if that happened

any fragment of you to remind them of the best time of their youth and the person who loved them more than anyone else did

so yea, sure they wanted to represent their school’s motto

but this time

they can make an exception

a/n: HII!!!! IM BACK AND SUDDENLY IM ABLE TO WRITE AND FINISH THIS I SWEAR I CANT BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO PUBLISH THIS I CANT WITH THIS YALL IM LOWKEY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF AND IM ASHAMED IM SO SORRY

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #inarizaki #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki imagines #inarizaki scenarios #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #inarizaki manager #inarizaki fluff #manager inarizaki #manager!inarizaki

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kittydripuwu · 3 years

Note

hi omg i just found your blog and i just want to let you know your writing is awesome >< could you please write a scenario where reader is dazai is jealous since his s/o is very close friends with chuuya? implied nsfw at the end maybe?

hii thank u for ur request! i hope u like it <3

jealousy | dazai x reader

words - 1086

warnings - swearing, implied nsfw at the end

genre - angst?

you had been friends with chuuya for a while now, after meeting him through your boyfriend dazai. you enjoyed being around chuuya as a friend, he was a fun person to hang out with.

it was pretty late and you were sitting at a bar with chuuya, having some wine. you knew dazai was out on a mission with the agency, and he wasnt supposed to get back till the next day, so you decided to spend some time with chuuya. dazai never really cared if you hung out with chuuya, it wasn't like him to be super possesive over you, and either way, you didn't get to see chuuya often because you were both pretty busy when it came to work.

recently, you've been off work for abit, since your job gave all employess at your level, 4 weeks off during the spring to relax. during this time, the mafia and the agency have had quite abit of work to do but you still spent as much time with your boyfriend and one of your closest friends, chuuya, as much as possible.

"hey y/n" chuuya asked suddenly, after you had zoned out for a few minutes.

"yeah?"

"what's it like working a normalllllllllll job?" he asked, a little tipsy from the drinks you two were having.

"it's so BORING chuuya, dont EVER switch to normal work, you'll hate it" you replied.

"but you get a break! we don't get that in the mafia" he said, laughing.

"that's true but, i sit in front of a computer allllll day, it sucks" you said.

both you of you were laughing and drinking, it was a good time.

meanwhile, dazai had come back from the ada mission earlier than expected. he got home, and noticed you weren't there, so he decided to call you. your phone rang, and you picked up.

"helloooo"

"hi love, i'm back early, where are you?"

"ohhhh i missed you baby! i'm at a bar with chuuya" you said.

"are you drunk?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"maybeeee" you replied.

"i'm coming to pick you up" he said, and hung up.

his tone was a little angry, anyone could tell, but you. whenever you were drunk, you made everything a joke, never took anyone seriously, and sometimes, that got you in abit of trouble.

around 10-15 minutes later, dazai had come to pick you up. dazai and chuuya simply greeted eachother the way they normally do (yk saying they hate eachother, and that they'll kill one another one day, the usual), and dazai grabbed you by the hand, and dragged you all the way home.

when you got home, dazai didn't say much, you were too tired to talk to him about it now, so you both silently went to sleep.

when you woke up the next morning, dazai had already gone to work. since you were still on your break, you decided you would go out on a walk and see the city. you showered, got dressed and left. you thought about going to your favorite breakfast place first, and then you were supposed to meet some friends at a nearby bar. you got yourself some pancakes for breakfast and soon headed to the bar.

once you arrived, you realised you were abit early and none of your friends had come yet. as you sat down to wait, chuuya had walked in with a few of his subordinates. you didnt expect chuuya to be here, during work especially. he quickly noticed you sitting, and came up to talk to you.

"hey, what are you doing here at this time of day?" he asked.

"oh hey, i'm waiting for some friends, what about you?" you replied, smiling.

"apparently theres some sort of information here for something i have to find but, i'm going to have a drink first" he said. (we all know chuuya loves drinking)

you eneded up having a quick drink with chuuya before your friends arrived, and he left to do work. on the other hand, dazai didn't text or call all day, until you finally got home.

"i'm home love" you said, walking into your shared bedroom.

"yeah i can see that" he said, voice showing no emotion. before you got to say anything else, he stood up and left the room.

you had no idea what was up with him. you knew when dazai had something on his mind, he had to be alone. you've tried to talk to him about things before but it only resulted in useless fights. you thought about maybe leaving him be but something felt different about this so you decided to walk after him.

"dazai what's up with you? why do you seem so mad?" you asked, following him to the living room.

"nothing" he replied, coldly.

"why are you acting so cold towards me?" you asked.

"are you having fun running off with chuuya all the time?" he snapped. this was it. you could tell he was mad. but why? you and chuuya were just friends?

"what do you mean dazai?"

"you're on a four week break for work, its been 2 weeks already and i've barely seen you outside of sleeping here, and all you've been doing is going to bars with chuuya" he said.

"but you've been busy with work, we have had time to do anything yet!" you replied, realising that blaming him was useless since he was always right no matter what.

"you could have asked instead of fucking running off and getting drunk with chuuya" he replied.

you understood what was happening here. he was jealous. it was your fault yes, for not asking him to hang out but part of it was also his jealousy.

"are you jealous?" you asked him with a smile on your face, while sitting down on the couch calmly. you found it kind of amusing when dazai was jealous.

he hated admitting he was jealous, he hated being vulnerable in any way.

"why the fuck are you smiling" he said, looking at you sitting on the couch calmly, and just smiling to yourself.

"i dunno, i guess i like seeing you when you're jealous" you said.

after you said that, he came up to you, to stand right above you. he tilted your chin upwards to look up at him.

"i think i need to remind you what you get when you speak to me like that" he said, eyes clouded with anger and lust.

dazai was angry, and he had to take it out on someone. and that someone was going to be you. you made him jealous and this is what you get.

#bsd x reader #bsd #bsd imagines #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x you #bungo stray dogs #bsd chuuya #dazai angst #ria writes

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unrequitedloveletter · 3 years

Text

Certainly- Kaz Brekker

The reader is a bit of an astrology and astronomy alike geek for this, which I hope y’all don’t mind! Also, in this case, phones exist so lets pretend that phones exist in Ketterdam, making it a bit of a modern au, I guess!

Also, this’ll probably be a bit ooc for Kaz

Fic type- angsty fluff

Warnings- blood, mentions of death, and the reader is sick (nothing specific, I just kind of took random symptoms and made up a word for the sickness)

You were determined to see the stars before you went, and as you grew sicker, none of the crows knew when that would be, so, after a little convincing, the crows had gotten Colm to let you spend a couple of months at his farm in Novyi Zem, where the stars were the clearest at night, not burdened by light pollution or the screams of lively cities.

It was the seven of you crammed into a basement, sharing beds, but none of them cared, and you were just glad to be with the people you called family. You were happy that they were with you, that Kaz was willing to wheel you everywhere when you got too weak to stand, that Jesper still made jokes, even despite watching you deteriorate. You were grateful for Inejs smile, Wylans music, Ninas impeccable tastes and Matthias and his big arms that could lift you and put you down without issue.

The six of them had started taking shifts taking you outside. Nina took you outside Sunday nights, Matthias Mondays, Wylan Tuesdays, Jesper Thursdays, Inej Fridays and Kaz Saturdays. Wednesdays you rested up; ate when it was time to eat, used the bathroom when you needed, took a shower if it were the appropriate time, but other than that, you slept.

It was Kaz’s day to wheel you out, and you’d had a particularly rough day that day. Inej went with him, promising not to intrude on the time that you would spend together. She’d do backflips and run across the roof of the farm if you asked her to, but she’d not interrupt otherwise.

“I love the stars,” you whispered, leaning back in your wheelchair and tightening the hold of the blanket over your lap. “Thank you both. For doing this.”

“Don’t you worry, love,” Kaz murmured. “Just keep your eyes on the stars, okay?”

“We’re happy to do this,” Inej added. “All of us are. Really.” It was like both of them could sense it as well as you could. You had a feeling that the night would end terribly, just like the morning had begun.

You’d woken up only to need to rush to the toilet immediately, blood coming up your throat like bile, staining your skin and leaving your bottom lip red as a cherry.

Kaz had been at your side in a minute, Nina and Wylan right behind him. Wylan kept your hair away from the sides of your face, Nina slowed your heartrate and Kaz wet a cloth with cold water to get your body temp down.

Kaz had forced himself to stay in the moment, to not let his thoughts stray to the urge to sleep in the same bed as you to make sure that nothing happened while you slept--to be there in case something did--but to stay on the sun as it set and the faraway sound of Wylan playing his flute with the window open so that you’d be able to hear it.

Once you’d gotten settled under a tree, Inej ran off, making her way inside and up to the barns roof, where she sat, keeping a watch from a distance as Kaz let you rest your head against his shoulder, gloved hand interlaced with yours.

“I love you, Brekker,” you murmured. “Please don’t forget that. Ever.”

“I won’t,” he whispered. “You’re gonna stay around and get better until we can spar again, and you can beat my ass even though I’ve my cane as a weapon.”

“You know full well I can’t promise that,” you wished that you could. You desperately wished. “I’m going to die young, Kaz. I’m not gonna get to eighteen, much less eighty.” Kaz hated you for that.

He hated you because everything that you said somehow managed to be right. It was like you had a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and while, on missions, it proved useful, in that scenario, it just proved annoying.

“You’re gonna make it to eighteen if it kills me,” he informed you. “I’ll take you around the globe if I need to, just to make sure you end up okay. I will not live a life without you in it, Y/N.”

“You’re sweet,” you murmured. “Incredibly sweet.”

“Only to you, L/N.” That was the last bit of conversation for a long while as the sun set and the stars came out.

“Did you know that the moon isn’t circular?” You pointed lazily to it, bright and beautiful amongst the even brighter stars. “According to scientests, it’s actually shaped like a lemon!” Kaz didn’t fight his smile.

Of course you’d be spouting off the little factoids you knew about space. You loved it, how vast and crazy it all seemed.

“And that the clouds at the center of the Milky Way smell like raspberries and rum?” Kaz snorted.

“Okay, now, theres no way that ones true!”

“Oh,” you leaned up, booping his nose without a care in the world. “But it is! It’s in a study somewhere, I think! Look it up!” He laughed, pulling you closer to him as you rambled.

Inej had started doing running flips across the roof, spinning and dancing and no doubt laughing as she did. Kaz knew it was an elaborate effort to get you to smile, and it seemed to work as she moved; a delightful silhouette amongst a star filled sky.

“I love you, Kaz Brekker,” you whispered. “You don’t need to say it back, but I really, truly do love you with every bone that exists in my body.”

“I love you too,” he said it without hesitation. “And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey, I swear it.”

“Don’t hold me to that promise,” you murmured. “You know how bad this is. Stop thinking that I’ll make it into the new year. I probably wont.”

“You will if it kills me, Y/N,” he gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I’ll drain the bank dry if I have to, I swear to Ghezen.”

You didn’t say anything after, too exhausted to even think about starting an argument with him, simply not wanting to.

But then, an hour later, Kaz felt fear trickle into his stomach like it hadn’t ever in his life.

“And then theres Supernova. It’s like a star that’s dying having it’s last celebration. Like when we get a really big win, or when we get away with what we intended to get away with, and we all get shitfaced before we collapse onto our beds and sleep for the night? A supernova is a dying stars explosion. It’s the last celebration that the star has before it dies out.” you’d been rambling.

“Tonight is my... tonight is my...” Kaz had called for Nina right then and there, screaming her name while he felt you go slack against him.

“Zenik!” He screamed, not caring at all if he were to wake up Jespers father. “Zenik, call in that fucking favor with the bloody Ravkan prince!” Matthias came barreling out after her, phone in hand, already speaking to someone as Nina began working, steadying your heart and trying her hardest to keep you alive.

Kaz had to force himself to walk away from it all, pushing his feet away after giving your shoulders one last squeeze and walking far out into the field.

Once he was sure he was out of earshot, he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flooded his eyes and he found himself glaring at the sky, wanting to scream, wanting to shout, wishing that there was someone around that he could gut like a fish.

“Saints,” he murmured through gritted teeth. “Sankt Ilya, Sankt Adrik, Sankta Alina of The Fold, I know I am a terrible person, but Y/N is not. They’re good, they smile, they laugh, they’re kind to others when those people probably don’t deserve their kindness. I know I’m damned, I know that you probably strongly dislike me, but they’re different.” He’d never asked the Saints for anything before, and he never would again.

“Please, just, let them live. Let them get the life that they deserve. I’ll do my best to make them happy, but you have to let me,” he wiped the tears from his eyes as they came. “They deserve the life that you’re so willing to take away, and all I ask is that you don’t take it.” He heard the sounds of the ambulance car and raced back to you, gripping your hand as they helped you onto a stretcher and out of the field, through the house and out the entrance.

I won’t lose them, he told himself. A world without them is one that’s unbearable.

O N E Y E A R L A T E R

You laughed as Nina chased you through the halls of the Little Palace, running quickly through the endless corridors, your laughter carrying through them as you kept yourself in front of Nina.

Nikolai had kept you in the Os Altan palace since that night, where Inej laughed and danced and did her flips, whilst Wylan played the piano and Kaz sat beside you, listening to your ramblings without a care in the world.

“You seem delighted,” Nikolai noticed as you stopped in front of his office. “I’ve never seen you walk without that Brekker boy at your side, much less run while Zenik is on your tail!” You shrugged, laughing as Ninas front crashed into your back.

“This is the best I’ve felt in a year,” you murmured. “I figured I’d see if Nina was up to chase me around this morning, and I haven’t stopped running since!” You peered in through the open office door, looking for that familliar mop of dark brown hair.

Nina wrapped her arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be here any minute,” she murmured. “He and the boys are just finishing up a job for Nik in East Ravka, but Matthias told me the second that they’d left!”

“Trust me. Y/N,” Nikolais smooth voice murmured. “I put them on one of my fastest boats. I knew how long it’d take them to get from here to east Ravka and back, and I promised him he’d be here when you finally awoke.”

“Hows it feel, anyway?” Zoya appeared at his side. “Eighteen, I mean.” You shrugged.

“I miss Kaz,” you murmured bluntly. “I hate that I have to tell him that he was right, but I still miss him.”

Nikolai took Zoyas hand, pulling her close as you and Nina watched, smiles on your faces.

“Young love,” Zoya teased. “Zenik, let go of them so that they can turn around.” Nina obeyed, letting you go and moving to lean against the doorway with Nikolai and Zoya.

You turned, and smiled when your gazes met. “You were right, Brekker,” you murmured, walking toward him as he held out your gift to you. “I’m better now, and the second that you’re ready to spar, I’m gonna beat your ass, even though you’ve your cane as a weapon.” He grabbed your pinky with his the moment you were within distance.

“How’d the heist go?” You murmured once the two of you had walked out of earshot.

“Good,” Kaz let himself be close to you as you two moved, squeezing your pinky as you slowed your steps. “Plan went off without a hitch, for three idiots and a mastermind with a limp. I brought you this from it,” he held the gift out to you again, and you took it in your free hand, examining it.

“I had to ask permission for that,” he murmured. “I had to get the Ravkan kings seal of approval to steal that for you.” You laughed, looking it over.

It was a journal. Black and leather bound, pages crisp and untouched. A pen was tucked into the cover.

“I promise, we’ll go home soon,” you responded. “I miss Ketterdam. I could go for some waffles.”

“Don’t they have waffles here?” Kaz questioned.

“Not Ketterdam waffles, love. Ketterdam waffles are unlike any pathetic waffle from here! Doused in syrup and whip cream--” You let out a satisfied sigh. “So good it’s almost surreal!” Kaz smirked.

“Waffle date when you’re well enough to return home then?”

“Certainly.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #platonic inej ghafa x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #waffles

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probably-haven · 3 years

Text

Spoilers Galor ...... it is time.... for me to do what ive been considering for quite some time

this is my arguement... on why, whether romantically or platonically, i think you should ship or bro-ship,...... Childe.... and Albedo

HERE ME OUT I SWEAR PLEASE IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD- JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE! rarepair shipping is painful- join me

OR DONT EVEN IF YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE THE SHIP A CHANCE I DO A LOT OF ANALYSIS ON ALBEDO AND CHILDE’S CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY, AS WELL AS THE FATUI, THEYRE METHODS, AND THE RELATION WITH MONDSTADT- AND OTHER STUFF- just- if you like reading different analysis-es of the game or ship material or anything-

please just consider skimming it possibly-

so for the first section of my argument, i will cover why this is a largely feasible possibility, so let’s set the stage

- Childe is from Snezhnaya, and he is shown to have a large amount of ties to his home, including but not limited to; his family, ice fishing, and just a large number of nostalgic references in his voice lines.

- Because of this it’s a pretty common occurrence that he finds himself feeling homesick, as with many of the other Fatui.

- This is why he, like many of the other Fatui, so frequently visit and camp within Dragonspine, where the cold snowy atmosphere serves to remind them of home and the things they left behind.

- also in his birthday letter, it says he canonically visits Dragonspine, but explaining it this way gives it feeling

- so considering that he would be in Dragonspine relatively often, and given the large number of Fatui camps in there regardless, it’s pretty clear he’d have heard of Albedo. So onto Albedo (unfortunately i wasnt there for his event so i dont have as much fuel, but it is what it is)

- there’s a few things that need to be asked first- It’s pretty clear that Albedo must have some interaction with the Fatui given the sheer number of them that camp in Dragonspine. Evidentially, he’s still alive so the question is why? and there’s a few possible explanations for this.

- He just sneaks around a lot or avoids them (this i think is unlikely, as it would limit his actions while conducting experiments as well as the places where he’d be able to conduct them, which isn’t a big deal, but when there are other options I don’t think this is the one he’d pick) - He just pulls a traveler and kills them (i don’t think he would do this except for as a last resort, he’s rather disconnected from any sense of empathy yes, but his time is better spent elsewhere. If it comes to that, it comes to that and he will, but he wouldn’t do it as his first option) (also i dont use geo characters much so idk how good he’d be at breaking their shields in this case) - The Fatui don’t bother or attack him out of their own choice

- i think the third is the most likely, which sounds dumb but hear me out.

- something that is stressed time and time again during the mondstadt archon quest is the fact that nobody wants to increase the always present strain on diplomatic relations between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya. - Sure the Fatui do not care very much about this and have many ways to get around this. Signora attacking Venti (technically not a diplomat, and by disappearing she had plausible deniability; traveler’s words against her own, and really both traveler and Venti weren’t supposed to survive that, hence “leave no trace”), or the Fatui constantly attacking the traveler, (who’s canonically travelling alone with only Paimon, always on the move and encountering many unfamiliar dangers, not hard to clear up) - However despite this, I still believe that Albedo’s safety(and by extent that of Sucrose and Timeus) on Dragonspine is maintained by a mixture of political agreement, situational convenience, and Albedo’s own actions

- its difficult for this to work but i believe it’s the most likely answer, combining all three possibilities that i mentioned above. - Albedo is an official Knight of Favonius, so his death would cause a pretty dramatic commotion, and since he’s been in Dragonspine for as long as he has, if he was found dead outside of his lab- or suddenly disappeared, the first person to blame would be the Fatui.

- “But Flurp! what about the stuff you mentioned earlier, with Senora’s attack and the Fatui always going after the traveler?”

- context is key. The traveler is a traveler, and Venti was a necessity to achieve their goal. The traveler is also a huge threat to what they are trying to do, since the Fatui have probably heard of their accomplishments. Them attacking Venti was inevitable, no matter the strain it would cause. The fact that the traveler was there as well was merely coincidence in my opinion

- again “leave no trace” means the intent was that both the Traveller and Venti weren’t meant to survive. This is important because if the traveler disappeared, they would have vanished shortly after finishing what they had to do in mondstadt and thered be no reason to suspect anything had happened to them, just that they had moved onto Liyue.

- Venti would pose risk, but again, the pros outweighed any risk it could have posed to their relations.

- with the Fatui regularly attacking the Traveler, again, that’s easy to clear up and would be difficult to pin on the Fatui, assuming how long it would take to realize they were gone (because despite helping so many people, its still natural to assume they’ve just travelled elsewhere)

- Albedo on the other hand, is technically a legal official, because of his high rank in the knights. He is also only ever really found in Dragonspine and Mondstadt the city. And he is well familiar with the dangers of Dragonspine, so if he were to die there it would be assumed to be either at the hands of the Fatui, or one of his own experiments.

- Thus attacking him is very high risk(unlike the traveler), and since he has nothing to do with their plans, low reward(unlike Venti).

- So most likely he doesn’t needlessly interact with the Fatui, but should an experiment need to expand into the space of one of their camps, it’s likely he would need some kind of documentation to do so. At the same time, Albedo himself would also not be able to harm the Fatui who frequent the mountain. I TOOK WAY TO LONG TO EXPLAIN THAT UGGGGHHHHHHH anyways

- So set the stage, Childe is visiting Dragonspine, right? And he hears from whichever Fatui Camp he happens to stop in about the one Knight of Favonius that they keep seeing around Dragonspine, the one who just last week came to them with a stack of documents saying they would have to move their camp, it’s annoying but they have orders not to attack him.

- and then there’s Childe, who’s been living in Liyue, surrounded by people who basically fear Dragonspine as if its some kind of deadzone, and he just assumed that for anyone not from Snezhnaya, thats exactly what it was. He assumed nobody but the Fatui would dare even visit there, let alone be there as frequently as whoever this person was.

- And he’s got to be pretty important for there to be orders not to attack him, right? - cue Childe’s unique brand of curiosity, so he asks more, apparently the fellow has a geo vision, and had been spotted taking down or even just lurking by a number of Dragonspine’s dangers as though it was merely routine - cue flashback to when he first met the traveler, instantly hesitant, hostile, and potentially even afraid towards him as soon as he realized he was Fatui, even before revealing himself as a harbinger.

- so what was it about this guy that made him so convinced he could walk into a Fatui camp alone, order them around, and still walk out alive. Even Childe could admit how underhanded the Fatui were at times, their true orders could have been anything

- He’s not just going to leave now, no. So he asks more questions and figures out that they did at one point scout out his lab while the Knight was out, and give him the location. He’s a harbinger, what are they gonna say “sorry sir, can’t tell ya” no, these bitches see him with the same amount of fear they’d have for Dotorre or Scaramouche or La Signora or any of the others- you don’t just tell a harbinger “no”

- So anyways Childe decides to check it out

- in the case that Albedo’s mid experiment in his lab when this happens, he’ll probably assume it’s a Knight, since the Fatui haven’t tried anything in quite some time and would just send off a quick “I am in the middle of an experiment right now, I would prefer not to be disturbed” - and Childe would laugh at his voice because let’s be honest, he thinks of himself as a Chad and it just sounds “weak” to him, and then the scenario leads into what would happen even if he wasnt mid-experiment

and now a look into Albedo’s perspective

- let’s assume that the Knights heard about the Traveler’s role in what happened in Liyue, since it’s kind of common knowledge that Childe was the one who did it, and the traveler doesn’t exactly try to hide that he fought Childe. So considering how often the knights and the Fatui clash, and what happened with Signora, they would likely ask the traveler about it, in order to be better prepared, and for that same reason i feel like the traveler would tell them some of it.

- so in this situation, it’s likely that Albedo would recognize him and likely know an amount of his combat abilities, and the thing with the fake seals of permission/Osial, but I don’t think the Traveler would have given told any more than that

- so here’s Albedo, surrounded by Fatui camps, knowing that he knows more about this Harbinger than the other thinks he does and assuming that Childe knows more about him himself, but just how much does he know.

- it’s the first time one of the Fatui has come to his lab in- he doesn’t know how long (other than the occasional instance of a wounded member risking the encounter in a moment of desperation. He’s observed that those who wield hydro have never been present in any of these instances, and are most likely designated as healers, but he isn’t in the best position to find out.) - and the fact that the first Fatui to come to his camp(out of anything other than necessity) is a Harbinger, is certainly very off putting, as he knows that Childe most certainly has the ability to change the orders of the Fatui around him whose cooperation with him is something that he recognizes as very fragile

- and he knows it’s unlikely, in the back of his mind he keeps recalling that this specific Harbinger is the one who resurrected a dead god for the purpose of destroying a city (flashback to the famous “if I destroy Mondstadt” line) but he reminds himself that it’s highly improbable and thus illogical to jump to that conclusion, but he is nonetheless very on edge with Childe’s presence

- However, as with the rest of the Fatui, his hands are legally tied, and unless Childe moves to attack him, any move he makes would only serve to reflect on the rest of the knights

- As such neither would attack the other in this scenario, though Childe would very much want to, and Albedo would very much be prepared to. - and both of these people are very observant (Albedo in the general sense and Childe in the ‘reading body language for combat’ sense) so both of them are completely aware of that, though Albedo would probably acknowledge that it may just be a result of his own paranoia

- However, unless Childe has orders otherwise, he tends to approach interactions with a more amiable attitude, extending his hand and introducing himself as “Childe,” less flamboyant than normal, because yes he’s extra, but not an idiot, he’s not gonna say “hey girlie, hold still” when the guy obviously has his hand tensed like that, “discretely” ready to reach for whats assumed to be a weapon, a melee one based on the position, sword or polearm probably

- Albedo, isn’t really one for pleasantries though, he has a number of things he still needs to do, and he does not want this Harbinger in or nearby his camp. “I’m aware” he says, giving his full attention, so as not to be caught off guard, and to get this over as quickly as possible. “I assume you have some purpose behind this visit. I am rather busy at the moment, so i would prefer that we keep this interaction brief.”

- and Childe is a little shit who still doesn’t know how to associate violence and hostility with any kind of bad vibes so he just laughs and holds up his hands “relax relax, I’m not here on business, no need to be on edge, right?”

- But Childe has a tendency while speaking to, knowingly or unknowingly, give his words a rather ominous tone. That and the fact that Albedo is in his lab, one of few places in Dragonspine where any misfortune that might befall him could be pinned on his own experiments keeps him from letting down his guard just yet.

HOWEVER i cant do dialogue... and this isn’t technically a fanfiction so i can summarize-

- Childe is basically all like “so why the shit are you in dragonspine comrade? i thought yall hated it”

- and albedo is all “experiments and this is where my lab is, is ” but like- not key details cuz he isnt going to reveal stuff to the fatui

-and Childe basically be like “ why up here, isnt there other places,” cuz he legit doesn’t get it. He gets that his mindset isn’t the norm, so he’d assume Albedo would want to do anything to avoid Dragonspine and its dangers like what seems to be the norm for what most people hes interacted with have generally agreed

- and Albedo says some flowery words for like oh “In the pursuit of knowledge if one allows themselves to be dissuaded by potential dangers, then they will find it quite difficult to progress beyond that which is already known”

- which, is important cuz it reflects Childe’s mindset on getting stronger, so he’s like yeah, checks out, and being the extroverted shit he is, he has the guts to ask “aren’t you gonna ask why im in dragonspine?” or something because honestly he likes talking about himself, and thats a topic that doesnt have to do with the fatui so it’s an easy way to make conversation.

- and Albedo, who has by now slightly relaxed just enough to resume preparing the experiment he was preparing before Childe came in. and all passive aggressively is like “The same as the rest of the Fatui, most likely. Now if you don’t mind I do have a number of experiments to conduct and I’m afraid it can get rather dangerous, so it would be best that you take your leave now”

- and Childe gets the message that he’s essentially being told to fuck off but he’s also cheeky as shit and absolutely loves to test his luck so he’d be all “I thought you said not to be dissuaded by potential dangers” sounding all proud of himself for using the other’s words against him

- and Albedo doesn’t have time for this so he just turns back towards Childe, same tone and same face as before, and repeats “it would best that you take your leave”

- Now Childe doesn’t see this as a challenge persay, but he sees how easily it can turn into one, and speaks the two cliche words “make me”

- but Albedo is also a little shit and just turns to resume his experiment, letting out a sigh “Stay if you’d like. I didn’t consider this possibility but I may have to request my lab be made off limits to the Fatui. A shame, I didn’t plan to return to Mondstadt for quite some time”

- and Childe, he’s decently smart- and he knows a number of things, 1 the other harbingers are gonna be pissed if they find out he caused more work for them again, 2 this individual is interesting and he very much wants the opportunity to fight them in the future, and 3 he’s not involved in politics and should Albedo follow through, the Harbingers wouldn’t give 2 shits if he asked them to try and get the change reversed.

- and so he leaves, but he’ll be back

- Albedo’s threat may have given him the upper hand for now, but it also served as a challenge he wouldn’t forget. - of course it’s not really that big a deal though, just if he’s ever in Dragonspine again and there’s nothing nearby to kill, he’d keep it in mind, and hey, best case scenario he can get more information to contribute to the Fatui

OKAY

- so now that Childe is gone and Albedo is able to reflect on the interaction, at first he’s just relieved nothing bad happened

- within the following day he reflects once again, deciding that the Harbinger most likely wasn’t lying about his intentions, he truly did seem seem to merely have been curious as he had claimed

- in hindsight he also realizes that conversing with him may also allow him to confirm or deny a number of the theories he had on the Fatui, or perhaps raise more questions for him to look into that he had not yet considered... or at least it could as long as he was careful about how he asked.

- AND THUS there a few more meetings, many are purely conversational, each trying to get knowledge from the other while being fully aware that the other is trying to do the same - not the type of battle Childe is used to, and it does get boring at times, but it’s all part of the game so he persists

- and eventually, as Albedo recognizes this as a regular thing, he begins enlisting Childe’s help in a number of experiments. Just figuring that since he’s doing an experiment and Childe is there regardless, it’s the most efficient option. That and it keeps the more dangerous questions to a minimum, often redirecting the questions towards alchemy, a much safer topic that he does not need to step so carefully around in order to discuss.

- There comes a point where Childe decides to point out the fact that Albedo most often has him help out with combat-requiring aspects of his experiments, and questions why

- Albedo, figuring it was obvious, reminds him of the conversation a few visits ago, where Childe mentioned his drive to get stronger, and(to requote) said that if he didn’t feel these opponents were sufficient to increase Childe’s strength, he could always bring in a couple Oceanids to fight. He then points out afterwards that ruin guards are a bit easier to fight with a bow

- Mixed responses from Childe including but not limited to - quickly refusing in the language of hydro vision panic, followed quickly by - oh, so he’s been trying to help this whole time, to- - how the fuck would he bring Oceanids to Dragonspine, is that even possible? - followed by curiosity

- and so he brings up the point that he’s never seen Albedo fight, which is a shame. “If you can’t take them down on your own just say so, no need to make excuses.” because heck yeah he’s going to taunt him, I mean this is Childe

- which of course Albedo returns with “If you want to see me in combat, follow your own advice” because of course, by now he knows about Childe’s combat obsession, like you don’t need to know him that long to figure it out, its kind of obvious.

- but he recognizes the intention, so he finishes what he’s doing checking what he needs for his future plans before exiting the lab, Childe following behind him, eager to see his future opponent in action

- so albedo goes to a ruin guard/grader/hunter(one of those), because otherwise it’s hilichurls or abyss mages and he knows enough to be able to tell that’s not exactly the kind of opponent Childe meant, and he would prefer not to have the topic brought up again, if he knew how to avoid it.

- so Childe stands back and Albedo, who is well accustomed to having to defeat the enemies in Dragonspine in order to get components for his alchemy knows exactly how to kill this bitch cuz honestly, the number of these guys he’s probably killed for research purposes is astronomical, so it’s done rather quickly and methodically, as if just another part of routine, exactly the way that it had been described when Childe was first asking the Fatui at that one camp about the alchemist.

- And that interest/intrigue that had started in the side of Childe’s mind and grew over time into one of the reasons(tho not the main reason) that he would often go to Dragonspine... it multiplied exponentially

- cue a few more visits and a new turning point occurs

Klee

- Childe comes to visit, and upon arriving at the lab he sees a child

- cue Childe approaching again, amiable grin on is face “and who’s this young lady” - because it’s literally canon that he’s good with kids

.....

- but Klee isn’t any kid

- and Klee was there for the briefing so she has just as much information on Childe as any of the other higher ranking knights - and only that much information

- a short time later they’re cleaning up the scattered remains of what was Albedo’s last experiment, lucky that the explosion was set off near the entrance so the damage wasn’t too extensive

- “Please don’t tell Master Jean, Dodocco said he was sorry”

- Cue Childe’s “I’m not a bad guy... okay I’m kind of a bad guy” quote - “but I mean no harm, I’m a friend of Albedo’s”

- and Albedo’s standing there like when I agree to that but he wants to see how this plays out

- and I’m really unfamiliar with Klee’s characterization, but you get the point Childe is canonically god at kids, he’s gonna learn that Klee’s basically Albedo’s little sister, Klee’s gonna get attached to him and remind him of his siblings back home, Childe’s interaction with Klee is basically what gets Albedo to start actually somewhat trusting Childe as opposed to just using him from a metaphorical distance and subtly helping in ways that wouldnt really negatively impact the knights

- and now that hes no longer actively distrustful his mind is more open to actually becoming attached, as he now begin to recognize that that which he initially believed to be mere manipulation tactics was actually just... Childe being genuine, or as genuine as a person can be in their situation

OKAY OKAY OKAY NOW THAT ALL THAT IS ESTABLISHED I CAN GET INTO THE DYNAMIC

- so theres the obvious things i already mentioned, like their mutual extreme drive to improve in their respective fields that separates them from others, even within their own respective groups/organizations which already(to an extent) separate their members from most others

now lets talk about this point specifically

- both Childe and Albedo are capable of helping each other grow in their respective fields.

- two things that have the potential to cause Childe trouble and lessen his combat ability and the problems with his delusion and his foul legacy transformation

- these two things are things likely unlike anything that Albedo has been able to study before (tho delusions he might have some experience with- but it’s unlikely) and it would likely be able to expand his knowledge, were he given the opportunity to experiment them, while simultaneously helping childe improve his strength

HOWEVER

- both of them know just how fragile the relationship(whatever it is) between them is, how quickly tensions can shift and orders can change, so in order to protect both the other and themselves they both understand that actually going through with this wouldn’t truly be safe and both sides could get in trouble for it

- because no matter what they do there will always be a constantly present risk hanging over their heads, but ill come back to that

- Dragonspine - in a lot of Albedo ships, the other character has to go through the effort of going to Dragonspine, which tends to serve as an obstacle for the relationship to be overcome (exception of sucrose and... idk do people ship him with Timeus? just in case, recognizing them both as potential exceptions) - However, in the case of Childe, who legitimately enjoys coming to Dragonspine, he wouldn’t hesitate to visit Albedo - with most it becomes “wow, i haven’t seen Albedo in a while, gee, i wish he’d come down the mountain, nonetheless i am a good lover so i shall make the harsh trek to see my beloved” - with this bitch Childe tho it’s more like “oops, feelin’ homesick, Imma see how Albedo’s doing, hope he’s made progress, wonder if Klee will be there” or “Wow I haven’t seen Albedo in awhile. Finna finish up these fatui duties real quick and head over, if i say im checking on the Fatui stationed there, I dont even have to ask to go on leave” (he gets in trouble for not officially asking for a day off anyways)

-anywho, Childe is largely used to interacting with the Harbingers, who always seem to have some other secret second layered plan of sorts that he’s not always informed about (ex: him being intended to fail when he summoned Osial, but being kept in the dark about it), which conflicts with Childe’s relatively straight forward nature - Albedo also possesses the potential to be similar, however he doesn’t often see the need for such things, preferring to be frank about his goals and expectations, so unlike with his fellow harbingers, Childe knows that when Albedo tells him something or asks something of him, what he’s being told is usually exactly what actually is true/intended. And if it’s not, Albedo is the kind of person to explain that it’s something he can’t tell him, which he understands, since he has his own share of things he cant share because of his Fatui alignment.

- there is going to be an interaction where at some point Childe is rambling about his family back home, and Albedo questions him about what they look like, a few days later handing him a surprisingly accurate drawing of his siblings - “I did have to try to check appearance with the traveler but unfortunately they weren’t in Mondstadt, do I do hope there aren’t too many inaccuracies” - Homeboy doesn’t cry(probably) but he gets really fucking close - cue socially isolated Alchemist boy misunderstanding and trying to apologize, which Childe responds to by just hugging him- because both of these boys are touch starved and honestly they fucking need it.

- and now that Childe knows Albedo doesn’t actually have a significant boundary on physical affection, as with most Childe ships... it happens a lot

- headcanon that Childe tends to just lean/rest his head on things like a dog. - additional headcanon that Albedo tends to have a need to keep his hands busy at all times - so just cue the scene where Albedo is working on experiments as usual, Childe watching from behind with his head rested on his shoulder and Albedo just absentmindedly playing with his hair with one hand while the other continues with his work

- also talking with Albedo gives Childe a a lot of harmless fun facts and he loves rubbing it in they’re faces when he gets to correct one of the other harbingers on something because of this

- Albedo does also have a tendency to overthink things though, and Childe’s more straight forward mindset gives a new perspective that helps him work around issues more often than he would have expected

- Also Albedo’s love language is totally words of affirmation (i will die on this hill, he doesn’t even realize he does it probably). So he wouldn’t hesitate to sincerely thank or praise Childe whenever he helps or does something good. And Childe is a Fatui, most of the praise he gets is from the subordinates who admire him yes, but also lowkey highkey fear him, and especially after all of Liyue knows he summoned Osial basically, he is pretty damn starved for affirmation and praise and wouldn’t even notice just how much until Albedo gave that to him. - like Childe is over here melting into a puddle of fluff and Albedo probably wouldn’t even realize what he’s doing, he’s just stating his observations out loud

- Childe and Albedo making a pinkie promise, Childe does the little Snezhnayan chant, and Albedo’s gaze just shifts slowly towards the nearby frozen lake in intense concern

- They go ice fishing with Klee who introduces Childe to fish blasting and it’s a whole new world of possibilities now. Albedo has many regrets.

- the harbingers have all basically figured it out by now and are concerned about security but mostly they just mock him for it - the Fatui stationed in Dragonspine however, probably know because 1 they’ve seen Childe with Albedo almost every time he visits, and Childe brags about it regularly - at this point a majority of them ship it and needless to say Albedo’s risk of death via Fatui has gone down significantly, and it’s had a surprisingly positive benefit on relations between the knights and Fatui overall

- the Knights took a bit longer to catch on, since Albedo isn’t exactly in Mondstadt all that often, but it’s the city of freedom, what are they gonna do? say no? again, they are concerned about security risks, but trust Albedo to recognize what should be withheld.

- also its canon that Childe enjoys cooking, and Albedo has a line about like... let me look it up rq- It’s his “Least Favorite Food” line which talks about how he doesn’t eat at restaurants cuz he has a small appetite and doesn’t want to waste food, which is unfortunate cuz then he has to spend time making his own food - idk its kind of small but i just saw it and thought it was kind of a cute detail

- Childe is a chaotic bean and we love him for it - on the other hand Albedo is more calm and patient, able to put up with this, and realistically, he has enough experience with Klee to not accidentally put him out or down or otherwise dampen his natural personality...... it’s just when the two of them get together that Albedo experiences true fear.

- Albedo: I have an idea for an experiment but the Jean has suggested that the risk is- - Childe: you should do it! - Albedo: -that the risk is too great and has disallowed me from continuing it - Childe: Oh? well she can’t tell me not to it, now can she? - Both: *mutual gremlin noises*

anyway... im probs gonna add more to this later.... I’m just really bad at coming up with ship dynamics- so my main point in this is to get people to realize that it possible and that it could work- because there is... nearly 0 material on it- and i just think it has the potential to be so wonderful but I do not have the potential to make it that way. Like it has the potential for so many different dynamics and iconic moments and theres so many reasonable ways they could meet and just so many possibilities and im just really hoping to show the ship to more people because, y’know, it’s rare and i want them to suffer from the lack of content too, because I’m just a kind person like that.

i would have put it under a cut if i could, but i have no idea how to do that so... apologies...

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pndnj · 3 years

Text

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend.

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41- 1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec, get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone, it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor, cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all, I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker, i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun, seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some, get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice, i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon, this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

#zayn #yellowmetal #cathartic #feel free to correct me pls #cathartic lyrics

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