#maybe your life isnt as empty as mine but its definitely not interesting either

[andragoras-in-vanity]

my head hurts, im bleeding still (more so than before i called ny clinic), im so stressed i want to cry cause i have no support and so much to do and all i want is my person cause everyone is in christmas mode and i cant handle this time of year alone again

#i never leave the house becuase its too exhausting and painful so i never get the chance to meet people #and theres nothing to do here and i swear this is the city of the worlds ugliest men anyway #so theres no reason to leave #and i cant use dating apps cause im trans and the only one thats actually decent to trans people isnt popular #and again some of yall are just the most boring people alive id rather kill myself than subject myself to that #like genuinely i cant fathom how these people are so average and so ugly all at once and all seem to have the same personality #like great okay i like dnd too but why is it your only personality trait #maybe your life isnt as empty as mine but its definitely not interesting either #like...i just want my one person #at this point thats all i want in life anyway cause nothing else is worth the effort #and instead i have to watch so many ungrateful people get what i desperately need #honestly do aby of you know what its like to have no idea when the next time if youll get to kiss someone? #youll get to like someone enough to want to? #but have no idea if or when itll happen when every atom of you feel likes its being ripped apart from want and need and #a history that hates you and your own body being unreliable and in pain? #i want to throw up over it all i cant do this any more and im sick to death of all of you who brag about shit you dont deserve #you had your taste of goodness sit down shut the fuck up and let some of the rest of us whove never had anything get a taste too