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spaloonbabooguuscooties · 8 months

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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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carnivorousyandeere · 10 months

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tw: dubcon

my lil dream is darling admitting to marcus physical contact/physical affection/sex??? makes them uncomfortable becos of their past (if you know, you know) but it's something that torments darling becos it makes them feel like a freak. like darling wishes they could be more physically affectionate with hypothetical significant others and be able to have sex like others have sex.... and marcus instantly is like (: interesting (: well we could defo do something abt that (:

IDK YOU SAID SEX THERAPY AND I IMMEDIATELY GOD I WANT IT SO BAD

marcus starts off with just soft light touches and darling is trembling becos touch from others has always hurt and it pains marcus to see darling like that but now he gets to introduce gentle touch to them. he skims his hand across their skin and darling is so brave, eyes fluttering close, focusing on the touch.

then it escalates from there every session. marcus is always so gentle, so encouraging, so loving. they hold hands for long periods of time. they hug. after a certain session, they start sitting side by side every single session. eventually, even that escalates to darling sitting on marcus' lap, his arms wrapping around her waist.

idk abt marcus but MAYBE he likes the way that every single session, darling trembles under his touch but darling puts on a brave face anyway. like a rabbit that so desperately wants to run away from a predator but, instead, decides to face it head on. something abt it whets his appetite?

eventually, darling happily tells marcus that they've started to really recover and that they've incorporated what they've learned in therapy. they've started being okay shaking hands with friends! isn't that great??

of course it is! except, no, internally, marcus isn't okay with it. becos he liked being the only one. he liked his darling exclusively being his. so he ups the stakes.

he starts slipping his hands under their clothes, fingers skimming across their hips, across their waist, across their thighs. darling trembles, wondering if this is right but... marcus knows best doesn't he?

then marcus cups darling's cheeks and soundly kisses them. darling wants to pull away but marcus is stronger and so, instead, trembling so very much, darling returns the gesture. becos..... marcus...... maybe..... marcus knows what he's doing...... right?

and then marcus tells darling next session they'll really practice intimacy and darling can't tell if the feeling in their stomach is anxiety or butterflies.

ANON WHO ARE YOU. WHO GAVE YOU THE KEYS TO MY BRAIN?? Same wavelength it’s kinda scary 😳

Iykyk— I think I get what you’re putting down. That wasn’t exactly my experience, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.

( MDNI )

CW: dubcon, abuse of power/authority, EXTREMELY unethical therapy practices, manipulation

Marcus has you in his lap, facing him, positioned just so that you won’t feel his hardness. He doesn’t want to scare you by having you feel that— this is about you, about making you feel better.

You cling tightly onto his shoulders, eyes shut and lips trembling as his hand travels under your waist band to gently stroke you through your underwear.

He leans in to press a soft kiss to your hairline, reminding you as he always does that it’s okay, you’re safe with him. He won’t hurt you. You can ask him to stop any time and he will. You nod, eyes still screwed tightly shut. Marcus keeps his pace steady and touches light, waiting for the tension in your body to unspool and melt into a different sort of tension.

When he notices your breathing become shallower, Marcus pauses and moves back to cup your face in one hand. Your eyes flutter open, dark and hazy.

“Do you need me to stop?” He asks softly.

“…..No,” you whisper, before letting your eyes close again and nuzzling into his hand. “Please….?”

He smiles softly at how cute you are, despite the pain of seeing you so obviously struggling, and leans in to kiss away the little tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

“It’s okay if you’re enjoying this,” he whispers. “It’s okay to feel good. This is supposed to feel good. You deserve to feel good.”

You shake your head no at that, beginning to really cry.

Marcus shushes you, wiping the tears away, “But it’s also okay for it not to feel good. You’re allowed to feel however you feel, and if it doesn’t feel good we’ll stop.”

When you don’t respond, Marcus sighs a little, fighting the urge to hug you closer to comfort you. “It’s alright, that’s enough for today. You did so well for me.”

He tries to move you off his lap to sit next to him and bring you some tissues— he can’t possibly let you leave his office like this, so wounded and vulnerable— but you just cling tighter to him and shake your head again, eyes still screwed shut and head turned down in shame.

“P-please… please don’t stop, Marcus…”

His heart stutters in his chest. How could he possibly refuse your heartfelt plea?

#mail 📬#oc Marcus #tw dubcon #cw dubcon #my thoughts #yandere #yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere cw #yandere therapist #yandere smut #mdni #nsft

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llynwen · 27 days

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hey I saw your tags abt reading the MM book too and I desperately need to hear abt it from more ppl that also shoved it up their ass. Thoughts?

oh brother you have no idea just how many thoughts i have about it.

i really didn't wanna read the book because i knew it was going to make me go insane, but then a friend of mine who i'm trying to force to watch the show (i beg of you martyna. it's so good) decided to get it for me for my birthday.

from the very first few fucking pages i was Perplexed, to put it lightly. i was expecting a light and breezy autobiography with some silly childhood anecdotes and maybe behind the scenes tea about the hollywood crowd. Instead i was served almost 300 pages of trauma dumping, philosophical ruminations and some very TMI info that i wish i never read. i rated this book 5/5 on goodreads btw.

the first thing that really knocked me on my ass was this (i'm ignoring the ketchup story i DON'T want to think about that)

this should've given me an idea about that kind of book this was gonna be. yet i continued on, blindly, thinking, okay maybe he just wanted to get that out there. more power to him. whatever. (not really).

then the motherfuckers starts explaining his little philosophy, the titular green lights, right? and i'm like, yeah. i agree. you're correct. but why did it take you 50 years to figure this out? i'm 24 and i've been living by this very logic for years. Anyways. i continue reading.

now, bro spends half the book trying to convince us his parents were NOT abusive. i disagree. i think he has stockholm syndrome. i hope he's in therapy. i don't wanna think about this either.

now, this is where i started catching on that he was lying to me. i know it took me an embarrassingly long time, but i was giving him the benefit of the doubt. the undead parrot and the 13 story tree house, however, was what made me go Wait A Damn Minute.

yeah, turns out this book isn't a memoir, it's a mix between a magical realism novel, a self help handbook and a philosophical treaty. served to you on really nice paper (i mean Really nice. i appreciate that) with important words in bold, italics or even sometimes in green (which i appreciate even more, since i am tragically dyslexic).

after establishing that all men do is, in fact, lie, i gained a different outlook on the whole thing (i swear i need to read it again, this time in full englit major mode, make some notes and dissect this thing like it's shakespeare).

i like how candid he is about kind of getting lucky with the whole famous thing. he really took that slutty slutty waist and peculiar bone structure of his and said I'm Gonna Make A Career Out Of This. good for him.

he is, however, just a man, and at the end of the day, you can really tell he sees the world through his privilege. the white straight cis christian rich and famous thing kinda sways him into obnoxious territory in some parts, and it had me seething with rage. like, i too would love to go hike through south america because it came to me in a dream. i'd looooove to go visit my favorite unknown artist in a country on the other side of the world. i was half hoping to read about a piranha biting his shlong off when he went skinny dipping in the motherfucking amazon. (un)fortunately, no dice.

the david and goliath story made me chuckle out loud. he makes it Just believable enough to make you think about it. i like being made to think.

the philosophics continue in the form of the single most cursed wall of chicken scratches i ever did see. i sat there, straining my eyes, trying to decipher this shit, and i'm pretty sure he was on something when he wrote it because all of this

could be summed up with "you've gotta leave your comfort zone to learn more about yourself and the world." suck my cock dude.

i Really like how he talks about his wife. but then again, when you look at her, there really isn't any other way of talking about her.

i mean. how the Fuck did his stinky ass pull this goddess. lucky bastard.

now, the 3ish pages where he talks about filming the show (which was the whole reason i even started reading) are criminally underwhelming. i was hoping for a sneak peak into that elusive 450 page manuscript (i will Steal your laptop matthew. watch out), but instead i got a one liner of him being like i wanna play rusty because he's the specialest little girl in the whole entire world and the producers going yeah fine. THAT'S IT. still mad about this, especially because after that he hits you with the love letter to new orleans. i mean be serious. he should Not be allowed to write shit like that.

to summarize, i think he might be a genius, or he might be insane. he is probably both. i want to shove this book up his ass for many reasons, for example him making me learn the names of his kids (i hate knowing things about celebrity kids. leave them out of this) or for making me agree with him. because i do. agree. I don't appreciate his continued efforts to convert me to christianity and i think he's disgustingly obnoxious in some places, but the truth is he has a real cool outlook on a lot of things and i'm very mad that i now respect this bastard for more than his acting skills. i would like to buy him a six pack and listen to him talk about it. i'd love to argue with him, too. i can recommend this book to everybody who feels like they need to experience some psychic damage and maybe an existentialist crisis alongside it. on Very Nice Paper.

#i can never think about lord byron the same #damn you matthew #banger of a read for realsies #ask #matthew mcconaughey

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pocketsizedquasar · 7 months

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you asked for lore questions so. do you have any particular starhab Thoughts today

HI I MISSED THIS SOMEHOW but yes the answer to this question is always yes. i always have Them thots

recently, i’ve mostly been rotating what i’ve been uncreatively calling Good AU (AU where Starbuck actually Talks To ahab and they have a proper conversation and convinces him to turn around but not before at least 3 therapy sessions which may or may not involve passive-to-active suicidality on both their parts wahoo)

which is generally the AU i’m always rotating; @coulson-is-an-avenger have been talking abt it for literally 9+ months (n they have made some related fics before me, bc i’m slow <3 /positive) — but right now specifically, since i’ve finally started Actually writing it in the past couple weeks, i’m thinking a lot abt the beginning/setup of the au, which is aforementioned conversations/therapy sessions/breakdowns

more specifically, i’m thinking lots about how melville writes both ahab and starbuck as such deeply, intrinsically lonely people in different ways, and about how some of that loneliness is self inflicted and some of it isn’t. w starbuck especially… (i’ve talked abt this in the comments of a comic page before but) there’s the obvious element of loneliness that comes from losing most of his family to whaling, and having to be away from his wife and child for so long, and being seemingly the only person for a while on this boat who thinks there might be something wrong with ahab, but there is also an element of self-inflicted loneliness too: in Dusk, he specifically mentions the “heathen crew” and how much he feels apart from them. “Oh, God! to sail with such a heathen crew that have small touch of human mothers in them! Whelped somewhere by the sharkish sea. The white whale is their demigorgon.” his whiteness (and racism) and christianity is an element of isolation for him.

melville very regularly and deliberately highlights whiteness as a tool of isolation. ishmael only heals and becomes less lonely when he eschews christian “kindness” — “I’ll try a pagan friend, thought I, since Christian kindness has proved but hollow courtesy.” ahab is excluded and isolated from this world, for various untold reasons, though we can infer that some of them result from his disability (and, if you’re like me, an argument for reading ahab as nonwhite): “socially, Ahab was inaccessible. Though nominally included in the census of Christendom, he was still an alien to it.”

and starbuck—starbuck is of this world, this world of hollow courtesy and alienation, this world of nantucket quakers, which ishmael so poignantly describes as stifling and insular and strict. it is this — this whiteness, this hollow christianity, this learned racism — which prevents Starbuck from meaningfully emotionally connecting with his ‘pagan’ / ‘heathen’ crew, even as we know he is generally in other ways good to them. it is also this worldview which prevents him from meaningfully getting through to ahab.

like, ahab is obviously a traumatized specimen of a man (affectionate), but starbuck is also so deeply entrenched in his hyper specific worldview, just as much as ahab is. he can't connect with ahab more because he's so entrenched in seventeen layers of protestant guilt & conditioning, which is partially just the gay thing, but also like. being unable of conceiving ahab's pain through another framework. bc xtianity and protestantism and whiteness and all these things so wildly distort your concepts of what suffering is and who experiences it and who even has the Right to it, and what the right and wrong ways to experience pain are.

all his reasoning for why ahab giving himself so wholly to vengeance and eschewing all human connection is like… “bc god said it’s bad.” in all the times starbuck (in some ways rightly) gets at ahab for what he's doing, he doesn't ever really get to the point of trying to understand why it's happening? or where ahab is coming from? when what ahab needs is to be met where he’s at, in all his messy ugly pain and trauma

so w/ these conversations in the au it's like. part of it is starbuck letting go of this moral judgment and just coming to ahab with a genuine desire to understand hey. why are you doing this. tell me why this is so important to you. why this whale. why so hard. what is driving you to this. and like. understanding the very real amount of pain that ahab is in. the very real mess of a world that is constantly traumatizing and retraumatizing him. a world of whiteness and christianity and capitalism that has so thoroughly abandoned him to his trauma and his pain that he legitimately sees no other way out, no other alternative for alleviating that pain, than this quest.

basically in order to cure ahab’s loneliness starbuck needs to break his own. he cannot break down the walls around ahab without first reaching out beyond his own. and that’s why he fucking doesn’t in canon and tdjdhdhshdjwhdsjdhsj this is why i am so fucking mentally unwell about these two gay losers hfhehdhdhdhehddh

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rockngyrroser · 8 months

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therapy of the strongest sorcerer. part 1.

first step to open up. a/n: i read some fanfics for few last weeks, and i wanted to write mine, so I was thinking abt satoru gojo and… i think this man needs therapy. thank to all fanfics authors for inspiring me! i am very grateful. also i am sorry if there will be any gramatical errors etc., i'm still studying eng. also thank you all if you're reading this! this means a lot for me!!

content: sfw, gojo comes to the therapy for 6 months now, y/n gives her best to make him better and just do her work, action tooks place after Geto death (like 6 months after), gojo satoru x fem! oc

reminder: it's just my imagination, no need to read it if you don't like it, please have mercy, this is my first time writing smth like this and let it go to the public

it was thursday. very long day. not only because therapist work was tiring, but also, because the last patient is satoru gojo. he is very annoying somehow, he never wants to tell you the truth, even if you work together as a therapist-patient for a 6 months every thursday for at least one hour.

it's not like you always feel annoyed by your patients, you never do, but gojo is really weird one. he likes to be quiet for one hour, no matter what you try to do or say. he got the therapy appointments, because his company told him to go and they pay for his sessions. he likes to try to beg you for letting him go, just because he has some more important appointments like going out for an ice creams or just going back to his home and call you then that he was joking. you never believed him again about more important things and now you always call his company to know if this is true, if he tries to do it again.

he is like a child who is forced to go there. few times he said that you can have a deal. he gets a papers that he is okay now and you have free one hour, just for yourself. you became a therapist to help people with their mental health, not because any other reason.

your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. they opened and you already saw white haired head of gojo satoru.

"hello, (l/n)-san" you knew it will be hard hour, but still you were optimistic inside of your heart. your mission is to help people and this is what makes you happy.

"welcome again, gojo-san! please take your seat." you said with calm tone and pointed at dark, comfortable sofa. you grabbed your notes about him and his therapy and sat on the comfy chair next to his sofa. "how was your week?"

it was different. you and gojo talked at the sessions more like friends, not like a therapy thing, it was more like meeting with your distant friend every week. as long as it was hard to start any conversation with him, you took his strategy to open him a little every week. but your plan wasn't working as you imagined.

"uhm.. i guess nothing new.. i ate some sweets.. i had some trouble with sleeping.. is this answer enough?" he said while he was looking at the ceiling.

"i think we both know the answer for your question, gojo-san. but.. i'm interested what kind of trouble with sleeping did you have? can you tell me more?" you asked trying anything, literally anything to start any deeper conversation.

"i couldn't sleep, but it's probably because my stomach was fulfilled with sweets.. like i said before i ate some.." he had smirk on his face. you looked at him with serious facial expression.

"i think this is some kind of preschoolers problems.. but you make it easy to treat you like one." you replied with smirk on your face.

"oh my god, if i really bother you.. as i said many times, you can let me just go, you are nothing to help me-"

"i am therapist so please, take me seriously, i am not playing with you, i am trying since 6 months to open you somehow, so i could help your mental health, because i get everyday calls from your company that you're still not changing in any way.. they even called me that you are crying so loud that they all can hear you! i am ready to help you, but please, just please, tell me what bothers you, because if you don't i'll never let you go, i'll keep you here for as long as you won't open." you bursted because you had enough of this.

he was looking at you with surprise on his face and seriousness. he didn't talk for a while. he just get up and walk around your office. after around one minute he sat down again.

you stood up and took a sip of coffee that you made.

"do you want coffee? water? anything?" you asked with dispiritedness in your voice.

"do you have tea? i understand your… problem.. i am sorry, i didn't know that you want to help me that much.. i was thinking.. i.. that you just want to make some money because my company pays and i don't care about that… i.. uhm…"

"i have tea." there was long silence, you did the tea and handed it to him.

"i want to help you, because i became therapist to help other people with their mental state, not to make money. will you just trust me? i am not monster or anything." you said calmly, trying to feel good again inside of you.

after 6 months of working with gojo, you finally see real chance to open up gojo.

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x oc #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #jjk satoru #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen satoru #gojou satoru x you

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solar-halos · 3 months

Text

sorry i’m gonna talk some more about annie/johanna

first of all, i just think finnick and johanna would be so different as partners. finnick and annie give me the vibe as that one tweet that’s like “i don’t have any morals or opinions if a woman says something is right then it is” “um well maybe you should have morals and opinions” “you’re right i should”

in all seriousness, i think that even when they do fight finnick doesn’t even yell and he’s insanely good at communicating / compromising, which would be good skills for the capitol but also i think he’s just not a very intense person in the first place and that he HATES conflict. and then this is also based on my hcs of annie, but i imagine that she cannot handle conflict well and she struggles to compromise on something even she agrees with the compromise just bc she’s so pissed off, and that johanna is the exact same way. so when she and johanna fight, they fight. like we already know that johanna will say anything even if it upsets everyone (and she canonically did upset annie into having a flashback of some sort) so i think whenever they argue it’s a days long affair and that they only rlly try to figure out how to be more healthy about it when odesta’s son is like “ma where’s johanna i wanna see her” and since annie’s not gonna fill him in on all the tea she’s like “hm. we’re gonna have to work something out”

also it’s really interesting to think about johanna being more sensitive. i think there’s a fine line between censoring her thoughts (“it’s part of my therapy!” she ate) and just being more careful about saying things that are going to trigger annie, and that’s a balance johanna is going to try so hard to figure out. and it’s probably gonna be rlly hard bc when was the last time she had to figure something out for someone she cares abt, and when was the last time she had the luxury to care about someone, and will annie leave her if she messes up but it’s genuinely just a mistake and she’s consistently trying?

i do think that’s all gonna be resolved before they’re an actual couple, which is also something i wanted to talk abt. pre-canon i imagine they met at johanna’s victory tour and johanna lowkey had a small crush on her but also johanna has had a small crush on everybody at one point in time (in a “to cure the boredom” way lmao) so she doesn’t rlly think too much of it. just that when annie laughs it makes her wanna laugh too. and that when annie makes jokes johanna is like “why isn’t anyone laughing she’s literally a comedic genius.” i personally don’t understand this concept but sometimes when my friends enter relationships they’re like “omg i had a crush on them all throughout hs.” and they obviously don’t mean a full on consistent crush, just something that came and went in varying degrees, and i can totally see that with johanna. but also being a mentor + the quell + her morphling addiction + finnick’s death probably wouldn’t have given her much time to rlly think about it, so she doesn’t rlly realize how bad she has it until the war is over and they’re raising odesta’s kid

speaking of odesta’s kid! as soon as he’s born she immediately loves + wants to protect him + gets sick at the thought of never seeing him again and she’s just like “it’s just bc he’s a baby everyone feels that way abt babies.” which true but she also co-parents without any hesitation and when annie is like “i don’t want u to feel pressured to take care of him just bc we’re living together” johanna is like what the fuck are you talking about

oh and also i think annie is fully capable of being insensitive to johanna’s needs too, so it’s a two way street. like with her morphling addiction in particular, annie would probably continually ask her why she can’t just stop and johanna is so fed up with having to explain that it doesn’t work that way but they work thru it obviously

i think this is it. tbh this was more like an outline of how their relationship would work than actual hcs but i think there’s something beautiful about johanna learning how to be more loving and gentle without losing her bite. like she’ll still bully annie but she’d do it so lovingly and without actually hurting any feelings

oh i guess one more thing that’s not rlly a hc or anything just something silly i’ve been fretting abt: what if johanna and annie get together and they love each other soso much and then finnick shows up like “actually i lived and i’ve been finding my way to u all this time!!” like omg what would happen? my knee jerk reaction is odesta pt 2 but if i think abt it for more than a second it’s like. wow. annie and johanna went thru all these trials and tribulations and have grown into each other and made each other their home so it would be so fucked up if annie just fuckin left 😭😭 also annie and finnick wouldn’t be on the same pg anymore so if they even had a chance of getting back together they’d have to refamiliarize themselves w each other

but again that’s a silly worry bc if finnick hasnt returned in years he’s obviously not gonna show up when annie and johanna are happy and healthy and in love. that would be terrible timing and also this hinges on the fact that he most definitely didn’t get blown the fuck up when he obviously did. anyway i’m actually done now

#long post #very long #annie cresta #johanna mason

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iciatheguardess · 4 months

Note

psst. nows your chance to elsie rant about the current events if you want to

Rant? Hmmm... I dunno where to start

(Btw, all of this is /silly and not meant to offend anyone at all)

I'm so fucking glad they're almost done with this shit, because shit is happening to EVERYONE. I can't believe how calm the 2nd floors been so far and I'm thankful for it- and I'm glad there was rubble blocking the way because they all need more items and checkpoints before getting to her. Also the angst, JESUS CHRIST THE ANGST. If you haven't seen my separate post about Icia sleeping (I'll find it if you want or you can hunt for it yourself) and seeing her friends back in tbdk then you know damn well there's something SEVERELY wrong happening with Icia and if ANY serious shit happens then HOOOOOOO boy God bless everyone's souls because that will NOT be fun. It's not even just her though- like. Spoilers. POOR FUCKING VERIE AND ARTHUR, LIKE JESUS CHRIST THEYRE EACH OTHER'S LOST FIANCE AND SHE DOESNT EVEN FULLY KNOW IT AND HES JUST WAITING SADLY WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IF SHES EVER GONNA REMEMBER. I'm really proud of Clara though, especially with being able to put her mask back on for the play. Lance and Raina are freaking me out a little. I know we've seen a bit of Lance and fighting really isn't his style but I've said this before and I'll say it again, seeing one of them for a long time and not the other FUCKING SCARES ME. And also, please someone get Stitch some therapy, that guy is basically going rabid with some of the stuff he's doing to himself and others, he is NOT mentally suited for this, no offense.

THATS NOT EVEN ALL. The dungeon party for me has been nothing but a whole lotta "WHAT????" Bc FIRST everyone falls asleep and gives into the trap just like that and Elsie and I are screaming into pillows for that to not happen- THEN BOB SHOWS UP WITH LEAFY AND MAGE I THINK? Idek if he's still there now but oh my god I can NOT wrap my head around this. ALSO IF I SEE KOPI AND KUMO AND THAT DAMN MEME ONE MORE TIME- well I guess I can't be mad bc they're each others support rn and that's really what everyone needs in this hell forsaken place at the moment. Someone also needs to really, really give Dusk a hug. I think she should make a rage room accessible to everyone in the circus, everyone needs that place.

Other than that I'm loving how creative the rooms and bosses are. I'm really hoping we see more Aoki bc he's so sweet and cute and someone get that man a gf right now, bring some happiness into his life. I'm also loving how creative I can be with the very, very long asks I'm writing for each room. I'm loving slipping bits of lore into Icias character. Yall don't know what I got planned or what Imma do if I get the chance. What I DONT love is how FAST MY FUCKING APPETITE DISAPPEARS THE GODDAMN MOMENT I SEE HER IN ANY ASK. Or if I see anything that has to do with Northeast, Raina and Lance, Stitch, etc. It's not fun being abt to eat a delicious bowl of cheesy spicy potatoes and seeing a notif and suddenly my appetite is like "HAHAHAHA ADIOS" because I get so anxious and excited that sometimes it literally makes me nauseous.

That's all I can remember rn. So far, 9/10, having lots of fun, have definitely cried a few times.

#iceanswers #modstar #you said rant #so i rant

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itoshi-s · 1 year

Note

helloo nonnie ;;!! I'm the anon who asked for the [therapy] s/o or friend ideaaaaa. And yes! Which one of the boys from Blue lock would do dat. I'm sorry for not being precise 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇🙇

ah it's no prob love !! i was just at work and my head was blowin uuuppp i wasn't sure if i got that right ajfhsalkf BUT ofc i do have a few ideas in mind (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡

i definitelyyy think bachi would call u his therapy !!!! he knows that he's being weird sometimes, that despite his cheerful nature he's not a person that just anyone will get along with - and that's why he holds all of his friends so deeply to his heart . BUT even then he can never be sure if they'll be there to stay forever - and he doesn't want the dull empty feeling from his early youth to come back - so i can see meguru always having these second thoughts :(( similar to the 2nd selection when he was so scared to lose isagi !

but then,, there's you, in all your glory. you're always here - curled up next to him in bed, in the first row stand at his match,, or waiting at the airport to pick him up when he comes back to japan - and for once, the thought of you possibly not being there has never crossed his mind not even once. it's like you're a given, a granted presence in his life, and that brings him so much peace </3 tbh i do think bachira would have a bit of issues regarding him being left alone !! he'd be rly anxious abt it when it came to his s/o, but he wouldn't be really communicating it that much.

he might not even be aware of how it always lingers in his mind - until he feels the overwhelming peace you bring. that's when he realizes how his heart is no longer heavy with fear of being left behind - cause he knows you'll always be there, even if everyone else fails.

meguru definitely jokes around and calls u his little therapy. it's cute, and people always swoon at the way the usually playful strikes refers to you, his s/o, with such mature and sweet words. and even though they don't really put much thought into it, think it's just a little figure of speech, meguru really does think that you've healed him <3

ALSO - rin !!!!! obviously . yet another boy with severe abandonment issues (thx sae!!!). now,, since he is rly bad at communicating i can see him also being a bit short on such loving names. he wouldn't call u his therapy out loud, BUT the thought of you being it to him is heavy in his mind, warming his heart. <3 it might seem like he's not doing much for u, and it makes people think that you're too good for him. ((UNTRUE !! i already elaborated on this with nonnie earlier . his love language is acts of service definitely !!!)) after all, before you moved in together he was away all of the time; then, when you flew over to him and left your previous life behind to stay with him in europe, you had to come back to an empty apartment, rin only joining you at home a few long hours later. many people wouldn't have enough love in them to withstand this - but you never gave rin a reason to worry about you leaving.

he loves the way you have your own goals and ambitions, and that you continue to chase after them feverishly just like he does. you're hardworking, focused on your purpose, and it makes you so much more alluring to him. BUT, at the same time, you're always there to greet him with open arms and a warm smile when he comes home in the late evening hours. you're still there to listen when he finds it in himself to speak about his troubles and worries, and you give him a shoulder to rest on when the thoughts grow so loud, it gives him a headache. you believe in him, god you never once made him feel any different. you always push him forwards, further into his dream future, but you're always there to catch him if he trips.

you make him soar - and yet, despite his fears, you never do it by giving him harsh blows, much like the ones his brother did years back, leaving a wound that just won't seem to heal no matter how hard he tries. but maybe, just maybe, he starts to feel like people can stay if they want to - that not everyone is transient. you change his way of thinking, day by day, slowly, and you only ever seem to realize when he gives you the brightest smiles when u two are alone <333

I AM SOBBIN .. THIS WAS SUCH AN AMAZING IDEA NONNIE :(((((((

#✧.* ✉ zari’s mail #✧˚ · . bllk #✩ rin.drabbles #✩ bachira.drabbles #blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #bachira meguru x reader

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hourly-yugi · 11 months

Note

Please feel free to delete if this perspective isn't wanted. I studied psychology (only to a BS level, no specific classes related to DID, although I've done continuing education stuff with it; not a doctor nor an expert; have a family member who may or may not have DID, long story). I'll use language that I learned in psych literature which may not be accurate to the terms used in advocacy communities today, sorry about that. I am not aware of them being offensive but will check the comments on this post for feedback if it's published.

Disclaimers out of the way -

The way I see yugioh's portrayal of DID with Malik is def inaccurate for a lot of reasons (remember it was written in the 90s by an artist), but when I think of that, the first thing I think of is the "only one alter" thing. A lot of media does this (consider the infamous Sybil). The portrayal of it being a dissociative disorder in response to abuse is not something you do tend to see though. Of course the ending where Yami Malik is destroyed contradicts my understanding of modern therapy practice, which is to help alters live together heathily.

Imo it may be better to read Yami Malik as an aspect of Malik's mental health influenced both by DID and the corrupting dark powers of the Rod. I know that's a bit of a copout but I really think that, within the narrative, if everything else was the same but the Rod wasn't there, things would have developed much differently. You could argue that Malik would still have DID but maybe not violently (beyond what he did to his father in self defense).

But yugioh's most powerful statement on DID to me isn't about Malik at all. When Yuugi comes out to his friends as having another self inside of him, no one has ANY suspicion that there are supernatural forces at play. Their reactions of unconditional acceptance and cheering him on, assuring him that they'll support him no matter what, when Yuugi expected them to just ditch him. I cry every time.

If you just want that section of the manga, I can try to find that for you.

ty for sending this in, i do like how immediately accepting everyone is to yugi when he tells them abt yami, i think it really lends itself to the theme of friendship and accepting everyone for who they are which encompasses ygo,, this was very informative to read, tysm

#yugi asks #sorry once again i dont have much to add #i think ive already posted that bit of the manga ill try searching for it on my page #i went through all of my yugiposts and i could not find it😭 could you pls send it in??#sorry again for the criminally late response

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daedalusdavinci · 1 year

Note

I love, love, love your Twobats fic with college!Bruce and Two-Face-but-not-yet-called-that. It's so fulfilling to see Two-Face and Bruce interact before the whole acid shebang.

(Side note...do you have any headcanons on college TwoBruce?? They've wormed their way into my brain and just won't leave.)

thank you!!! ;;;;;;;; i have a lot of very passionate feelings abt bruce knowing 2f before he became 2f ykwim

college bruharv is so important to me and college twobruce is perhaps even MORE important to me. yes yes we all KNOW that harvey and bruce spent their college days entirely wrapped up in each other in a tentative space between friends and something more wrestling with homophobia and their personal demons alike and i COULD talk about that for ages but LISTEN. LISTEN.

first of all i think most people dont realize that its incredibly unlikely that 2f just suddenly popped up after the incident. i think 2f is more likely one of the first alters and has been around for a long time, though due to how hard harvey has tried to suppress his did (and continues to try) they have a very complicated relationship that leaves 2f spending most of his time before that point pretending to be harvey and feeling unsure about who he is (and probably suffers from extremely low self esteem due to being a trauma holder with no support network). so, then, when theyre in college, weve got them at a point where theyve done some therapy (in multiple canons harvey knows he has did and was diagnosed with it relatively young, and went to therapy to address it (btas), tho his therapist was..... not great) and theyre living away from their father probably for the first time which any victim of child abuse knows is a whole thing. which is pretty much the perfect time for them to meet bruce

bruce in college is starting his plans to become batman. hes figuring out how to act like a playboy, planting the seeds of the brucie image, and simultaneously trying to learn everything he can without looking like thats what hes doing. hes sorting through trauma in a big way and trying to figure out how to turn it into something constructive, or make it "good damage." harvey is doing much the same thing, albeit less crazy, and for bruce its almost too easy to latch onto this guy who 1) is a huge egghead and helps him study and 2) understands. so they become friends (and a little more), and 2f is suddenly in a position where hes fronting around this guy who believes that hes his best friend in the world

and its bruce. hes a good friend, a safe friend, and when harvey quietly admits that he has did and theyre struggling to get through school life, hes supportive. hes there for them. he doesnt know when 2f is there, but 2f sees him getting books on did, sees him trying to learn, changing his language, trying to understand and support them. he doesnt get all of it but no one has ever even tried before and for the first time in his entire life 2f feels like there might be a person he can be himself around. so slowly, carefully, he starts letting bruce know when hes fronting

i think bruce is 2fs first friend thats his. i think bruce is the first person outside of a therapist who gets to meet 2f and he regularly stops 2f in his tracks just because he knows and yet somehow he doesnt hate 2f. he doesnt blame him when things go wrong, he doesnt think theres anything wrong with him, he just loves him unconditionally the exact same way he loves harvey. its the first time 2f really gets to be himself and explore the ways hes different from harvey around another person and having bruce is huge for him. harvey has so much resentment for 2f and yet bruce just has none, and its the first time anyones really loved 2f and i think that sits with him for the rest of his life. like, years down the line, when 2f is pissed at batman and tearing around the city, hes still got this little soft spot somewhere in his heart for bruce wayne.

this wound up basically being a huge dump about how i vaguely think of their relationship in college in overarching terms but if you want specific headcanons i can do that too alskdjnfsdf just probably in a different post bc this is so long and i got so carried away

#bruharvey #twobats #asks #can you tell im fucking insane about this topic #i love 2f and harv more than anything im cradling them in my hands #obvious disclaimer ive done my utmost bestest to research the fuck out of did but im not a resource for facts do your own research #if you have did and you see me saying bullshit call me out immediately i want to know and grow theres too much misinfo already

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shkika · 1 year

Note

I might end up taking u up on that offer this is so so soo fun

I really enjoy it when people make moon mad at fp..like how could she not be yes she cares about fp a lot but siblings don't exactly...do that to eachother very often I think (but maybe they do /j the woes of being an only child)

I think not being able to harm artificer did him good in the end (therapy dog!!) like he would have definitely just wanted to send that thing FLYING into the sun but he couldn't!! he was forced to just deal with it and eventually he realises hey. Maybe this thing isn't so bad... honestly I think he really needed something like that right then given his tendency to push people away (thinking abt how he BLEW UP srs' poor overseer. That made me jump actually i didnt expect it i sat still for long enough to get myself blown up too it was kind of funny...aside from the trek back of course) (ALSO THE ADS HELP thats golden)

Adding onto that like....him being a silly little loser that wants to do everything by himself and the like loving the attention etc I really think that like... the time period he was built in only made it worse??

Like......i feel that being built when he was added to a sort of pressure of needing to feel superior, to not be one of those bugs in mazes. To have something with like a genuine true path ahead instead of blindly grasping for answers

Like...I guess he'd want to prove just how good he is by doing it without any sort of help and he just has so MUCH to figure out by himself that he just...builds that pressure more and more and that's gotta be too much at some point

^^ I like the idea of the triple affirmative stuff happening like...around this point in time (forgive me if my timeline is terribly off) but anyways like..it kind of just fucks up everything for the dude...like all he's worked for is kinda just for nothing so then it leads to everything with the rot as like some sort of last resort. Like he knows the risks but he just cant bring himself to care like he's in such a vunerable state he doesn't think about how it'd affect moon until all of a sudden there's a forced message being sent his way, but even then I guess being younger than like everyone in the group he doesn't fully grasp like oh. This is as bad as it is. Until moons can comes crashing down and hes left infecting himself with the stuff

Anyway you are so very right with the echo actually I haven't thought very much on the shaded citadel but it must have...not been pleasant going through the rains knowing that there's so many others unaffected by it

Sorry this response is so late actually I've been multitasking to all hell but RRAGHGJ squishing the iterators in my hand like stress balls I am so normal about this game

please do! <3 ramble incoming

Moon being angry at Pebbles is fun. I love seeing different interpertations! Though I do think she doesn’t hold actual bitterness towards him in my personal belief.

The idea that she isn’t actually *angry* angry at him makes her very tragic to me. By all means she knows his actions are inexcusable. What she went through was horrifying and painful and she acknowledges that. Nsh even mentions she’s always had way too much patience for him and that she really tried to be a good big sister to him.

So as his big sister and someone who guided him in early days I can see her being unable to feel spite towards him. He fucked up, hes now sick and rotting and it all fills her with grief. It’s all just unfortunate and sad! (definitely see moon being a little hater with salty comments sometimes. as she does but most of her anger is reserved for their shitty parents)

Pebbles desperately wanting to feel superior is something really fun to me!! Absolutely see it! (idk why u went and became close friends with guy who called you dumb and naive but u do you 🤷 maybe u like that. likr OoOo hes the only one that listens to my theories and he calls me dumb <33) We know he learns about what happened to sliver from suns, so I can only assume that happened before he was made..? But the game is vague enough for u to hc it as you want honestly.

What he did was out of desperation for sure! He never wanted to even involve Moon according to what he says while commenting on a pearl by Arti. It was just kind of impossible.

I think what Suns told him just left a big scar on the poor guy. Not only is he being told he never mattered, he has to accept he’ll slowly break down and not even die while still trying to solve their issue he doesn’t even care about. He wanted the feeling of power over his own self back and he wanted to desperately escape. Feeling helpless is the worst.

He thought he could be fast enough and not harm Moon and then failed! He doomed her and got a very bad case of the rot ( consequences of my actions) ((another bracket but the poor fucker tried to cure himself all the way until arti campaign! sad!!)) along with his failure becoming gossip material and a sensation as we learn from spearmaster logs. Which is why I assume he closes all communications.

Also Moon forced many many broadcasts onto him while dying :) not only partly the reason why he failed the project, it also further cemented his helplesness.. because he can’t do anything to help! A common phrase you hear from him is “I can’t even help myself”.

It’s a little treat in almost all scug campaigns iirc.

Also echoes are all so interesting I love them and their silly little opinions. Shout out to the one who told arti to stop being such an angry bitch <3

#im sorry for writing essays hehe hoho #actually ill out this into read more!#being ill do this with further long asks #waking up ranting abt rw lore oh what joys #waiting for my wrist to heal has never been more fine <3 #ask #pinkavtomation #also these rambles #although i try to take as much from the canon as possible #they uh- u dont have to feel pressured to take any as fact #the fun with media is to enjoy it however u want

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electrifiedgears · 2 years

Text

Me when I feel a VERY SANE connection to a silly little clock…

ANYWAYS gonna talk about my Clock headcanons because I’m right!!!!!! They’re actually all canon because I said so actually!!!

Relationship headcanons

-Him Coiny and Pin are good buddies! Stay on at least decent terms throughout BFB and TPOT, but after the forgetting situation he temporarily stops interacting with them, but ends up reconnecting with them more during TPOT.

-Coiny and Pin also are friends with Saw, so Clock ends up getting close to Saw as a result!!

-Clock and Icy don’t interact much in BFB but in TPOT they recognize each other and kinda form a siblings dynamic. They play among us together and Icy is a lot better than Clock is (Clock will accidentally say he’s doing fake tasks out loud in front of Ice Cube.)

-Winner feels uncomfortable around Clock initially but eventually Clock opens up more and is more honest with Winner and they become good friends and less awkward after that!! Clock also has an infatuation with Winner at first because he knows more about Winner’s past, but eventually feels he doesn’t actually like Winner more than platonically.

-In BFB Clock has a one-sided crush on Cake. He comforts Cake about Loser being gone, but eventually loses feelings due to Cake seeming pretty uninterested. They remain buddies though, and like just being silly guys together sometimes.

-Clock feels uncomfortable with Eggy, mostly due to her blaming him for the loss during the twinkle episode. He does end up forgiving her for both that, and forgetting him (which isn’t ONLY her fault btw, since the entire team forgot him,) but he doesn’t willingly talk to her after BFB.

-Him and Needle fall in love 💙 because I said so

-him and Yellow Face are friends. They don’t rlly have any close moments they just ramble to each other abt random stuff.

-He is pretty much neutral on Firey, Leafy, and Loser, during TPOT. He isn’t as infatuated with Loser and doesn’t really know Leafy very well. And isn’t close to Firey. Part of him felt slightly replaced by Leafy but not to an extreme degree, kinda just like a tiny idea.

-He also becomes acquainted with Ruby at some point I think yeah =)

Anyways now onto… these?? (I… need therapy?)

-Maybe has BPD…… maybe…… just maybe…

-Autistic .

-stims by pacing and stomping and jumping and rocking. Yippee!!!

-full of angst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raugh!!!!!!!!!! Angst!!!!!!

Other ones

-He is agender, biromantic, quioromantic, and somewhere on the asexual spectrum =)

-when stressed his shown time might be ahead or behind . The more stressed he is the more unreliable his time will be.

-After dying for so long he felt super disoriented from how much time had passed.

-also, vaguely related, I imagine that nothing happens when they die like. When they’re revived it’s like waking up from being asleep but when you don’t have any dreams. Just time skip basically.

-if his hands break (like, they end up both pointing down unable to move up on their own yknow??? Like a broken clock???) he kinda just loses it yeah. Marbles? Lost.

-Also he can’t feel them unless he either makes a conscious effort to or they’re touched.

-sometimes he just lays and stares up at the sky to think to himself.

-he rambles/goes on tangents to himself a lot because he doesn’t wanna annoy other objects with them

Sorry for being cringe 😔 I don’t know if anybody even wants to hear about these so I am like “guess I’ll ramble on the tumblr I made a few days ago 😁”

Goodnight zappy rhino enjoyers.

#bfb clock #clock bfb #clock tpot #tpot clock #bfb #tpot #bfdi #object shows #bfb the losers #AUGH #bfb headcanons #tpot headcanons #I hope to get therapy soon guys. soon.#zappyrhinopost

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fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty · 7 months

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i compiled angst abt TR + his sons because i. ... i got bored. and because it'll help me w/ writing angst when i have all of this in one spot.

im just posting it w/ a specific tag so i can find it when i need it kslkskd this post is also kinda long btw

TR himself - batshit insane

Okay so this mf has enough angst to fill. An entire. Like. Pool. But we'll start w/ the most known:

His wife & Mother dying on the same day just hours apart.

We all know how it goes but if you don't, his first wife, Alice Hathaway Lee, and his mother, Mittie Bulloch, died just hours apart on Valentine's Day, 1884.

And at the Funeral:

There's going to be... a lot more photos. The grieving is so intense I can't leave it out at all.

Doesn't this sound like an unhealthy coping mechanism? TR never really got the grip of coping healthily, but this isn't the earliest example, which I'll touch on soon.

It's beyond reasonable - and in fact correct - to assume he never entirely, fully got over Alice Lee. He never mentioned her again. Not on record, at least, and certainly not once in his autobiography. He mentioned his mother a handful of times at most. And this is where I say this part makes me feel nauseous because of how damn sad it is.

TR, as I said, never came to terms with Alice's death, and he never would. Over decades maybe he could handle a brief sorrowful thought of her, maybe a second. But I don't think anybody would be wrong in assuming he still could never truly talk of her. It sounds sad, but it's true. He never handled grief well.

I do think this is one of the periods of TR's life that you hear of but, never seeing it mentioned again, really enforces that he wanted her gone. He couldn't stand the thought of her. Which... do. Do you see the therapy that he desperately needed?

WELL if you thought this was it then you were wrong!!

His father died when he was nineteen. TR idolized his father beyond all else. He had a massive portrait of the man in his office and he always wondered what his father would do in times of strength during his presidency.

And TR admitting fear is a very, very rare thing, because you don't. Actually see it often. He'd be more likely to admit to a crime.

So for his father to die, and not being able to see him before (TR couldn't arrive in time), really, really left its mark on him. This was also around the time he had a spat with his then-close-friend, future-second-wife Edith in a small summer house. His father's death left him grieving and the argument left him. Well. Seething, for lack of a better word.

TR was actually able to acknowledge his father. That was the only difference.

But he also needed extreme help by the time Valentine's Day 1884 rolled around, and I am not alone in that thought.

I'd also like to mention that the argument I referenced above is never going to be explored beyond what is known: They argued, it was intense, and it ended any romantic prospects between them for years. Other than that? We have abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Nothing to go off of. Neither ever told anyone what they argued about. All Edith said was that Theodore 'wasn't very nice', and TR just said they both had tempers. Other than that once again? Nothing.

He also experiences even more grief later but we'll touch on that later.

TR almost lost Edith, as well, during 1898 when the Spanish-American war was ramping up to its climax of official war.

It did not get better. As you'll see, this was also when Ted was put under suffering, aswell.

*Cut because the rest is in Ted's section*

Even though it ended well, TR was likely getting flashbacks (or intense reminders) of what happened with Alice Lee just 14 years ago. And in those 14 years I'm very sure he wasn't fully done suppressing the memory. Being put under such strain twice doesn't do well on a person, nor their mental stability.

And now I'd like to mention: TR possibly having bipolar disorder.

Listen I'm not going to go in detail because I have before (probably, if not just send an ask that tumblr hopefully wont eat), but basically, traumatic experiences when he was so young, multiple injuries, almost dying countless times when he was young as he had asthma, and never truly coping, and honestly just naturally, he could have had Bipolar Disorder.

I find this theory interesting and it's very believable. He could be all over the place, smiling and ecstatic, swinging his limbs around, and then the next, quiet, gloomy. Suppressed. He never calmed down enough unless it was serious. Now, it could've just been his natural personality and behavior. But he was reckless, bold, daring, a risk-taker, and didn't ever really care about dying as much as he should have.

TR ignored his doctor basically telling him "DO NOT DO EXTREME SHIT. IT WILL HURT YOUR HEART. BADLY." and proceeded to be the goddamn president. Don't even mention climbing mountains and tough sports and putting himself under immense strain.

Hell I'd say it's worthy of a book (albeit short or not who knows), but there isn't one so far (as I know of) that focuses on that theory and goes in depth.

(But I do consider it a mild headcanon of mine for NATM purposes because I genuinely think it's something to consider, and hey, if you get memories, why wouldn't that pass over? Or I just like angst idk skkdnfgk)

Edith also suffered two miscarriages during the White House years, so the trauma of losing two unborn children must've hit pretty hard too.

i could go on even more about this sad meow meow bastard but lets move on. (Oh, the trauma I mentioned we'll touch on later, we will touch on near the end in Quentin's section.)

2. Ted // aka the one who was sort of forced to be the best

(also this mf was IMPOSSIBLE to search for. 'Ted' brought up words w/ -ted at the end and it took me so damn long to filter those results out)

This one below is in the White House. The two above are from 1898.

(the proudness is mildly concerning)

The 'nervous exhaustion' and migraines Ted ended up getting were because he was being pushed so hard at such a young age. I tried to find the book that had it (with no luck) but his mother admits that TR pushed Ted far more than the other children. Whether it was because Ted was his eldest son or his first or his namesake or all of the above I don't know, but after that pledge, TR doesn't seem as hard on Ted again in the rest of the Trilogy this lies in.

I also tried to find this next part with once again no luck. However I'll explain the best I can:

When Ted was in college, he got sick with a very violent case of pneumonia, to the point where he was put to bedrest. TR may've had a hard attitude to sickness but he came down to be by his son's bedside and the concern must have been intense. Ted's mother also came down and eventually Alice did too when she was allowed (they actually considered each other like siblings, probably some of the closest between the six with only a 3/2 year age difference). Ted did get better, but it was still worrying in the moment.

I can't find the copy (when I can I'll probably edit this post), but in another book, during WWI, Eleanor (Ted's wife, not FDR's, it's. It's confusing I know) confided in TR that Ted worried if his father was proud of him. TR was particularly surprised, but he told Eleanor that yes, of course he was proud of Ted. He called the war he fought in (Span-Am War) a bow and arrow affair compared to what Ted was fighting in -- a war with bombs and motherfucking aerophysics.

So in Ted you have the 'Heir who's really stressed' part of being a Victorian kid of someone who may or may not need lots of therapy and already have daddy issues (because he did. and i am right.)

OH!! FDR and Ted also had this weird rivalry and Ted basically disowned his ass and called him a maverick. Republican tings ykwim- FDR kept Ted's war moves from newspapers to stunt his cousin's political career (Which is a dick move), but even in the end, FDR presented the Medal of Honor to Ted's widow and admitted that TR would've been the proudest of Ted.

3. - Kermit: really sad guy

Okay Ted was fucking impossible to search for but Kermit is not thankfully

Kermit doesn't seem to be as ... optimistic or loud as the other kids, as you can tell.

*in reference to Harvard, where all four of the boys attended. FDR was also slighted for like the rest of his life bc he wasn't allowed in a club that Ted and Kermit got into lmao i just find that funny*

Kermit was also 'easy to bruise' and 'adored' by his mother but he was still... uh. Well. In short terms, traumatized as fuck and had PTSD that goes beyond any realm I've ever fucking seen.

(I WILL be writing fic for this)

I guess you could say it's sort of depressingly similar to TR and his own brother, Elliott, who also died an alcoholic and with multiple attempts of su!c!de. Kermit is the younger brother, Ted is the older. TR was the older, Elliott was the younger. Ykwim?

Basically if Kermit the Frog is memey and funny then this Not-Frog-Man is tragically the opposite and he also. Really. Really needed therapy isn't that a running theme at this point though-

4. Archie - mischievous. that's it

Not much I can find on Archie in an angsty way, which I think is actually good for my heart because the Edmund Morris TR Trilogy did not do wonders for my mental stability

The most prevalent thing I can find is this:

Archie--born in 1894--would be 15, so a 15 year old struggling for dear life and terrifying the shit out of his family. Doesn't sound good huh?

But!! Besides that Archie was the only American soldier to be disabled in BOTH World Wars (The three remaining sons (Quentin died in WWI as we know this) all fought in WWII. Fighting spirits indeed) and because of the SAME injury in the SAME leg. He was quieter but still mischievous and energetic, and he got along best w/ Quentin and they rarely quarreled. I will admit, I don't see much about Archie. Quentin obviously is well-spread around, Ted is aswell, Kermit partially, Alice fucking entirely. Ethel and Archie though, I dont see much of.

ALSO!!

*these two paragraphs follow each other, they're just on separate pages. the first paragraph follows into the next, so you can read it normally without missing anything.*

I forgot that Archie basically got really, really unhealthy during the War. His arm was worryingly limp and his leg was practically fucked. Not only that but he lost his closest brother in the war, so you can imagine how he felt.

5. Quentin - FAVORITE CHILD there i said it

okay. you want angst? like, a lot? this one. this boy is your ticket to sad depressive trains of thought.

Quentin was also the most like his father and very much a risk taker, so if he lived long enough, he very well could have had a very successful political career (or in whatever he chose to go into.).

However, Quentin's death was a lasting pain for TR (who died less than a year later) and it's said that Quentin's death not only hastened the then-late-50's year old man, but that TR died of heartbreak over his youngest's death. More angst after the pictures teehee

'He' is TR. He could be vaguely cryptic in matters of worry and family. Remember this

He paces when his brain is going a million miles an hour. I actually forgot this small detail but I'll have to use it sometime tbh

this part just makes me sad even though its almost been a year since i reread it like 20 times (more on that in a second.)

The silent grieving and absolute devastation seems far more powerful.

Now, getting specific:

Yes, it was said, as I may've already mentioned, that the boy in TR died when Quentin was devastatingly taken out on July 14th in the summer of 1918. He'd already suffered losing his father (his idol. this is where his own daddy issues come from) and losing his first wife AND mother (who he adored, too) in less than 12 hours. so now, to lose his youngest son, his boy, his child? Oh dear.

So combine the fact TR already needed lots of therapy and this new, heartbreaking death, and you've got one HELL of an angst supply.

It's worth remembering TR really just said 'fuck it. beat the memory until it's too dead to throb' and thought of it as a coping method.

... his 'method' is what we'd now call unhealthy. He thought it was so fucking fine that he even recommended it to a friend (or his sister? I forget tbh) who was just recently widowed. He was not taught healthy coping/healing methods and it showed. Strongly.

TR also felt tremendous guilt for his sons getting hurt (and one dying) in WWI. He'd always glorified war to himself and his kids and he'd instilled in them that a man is only a man once he's fought in battle. Well, no, that's not true. But in the Oyster Bay line of Roosevelts, you either fought in battle when you got the chance or you were a coward for denying it. Hell, take this quote from before Ted was even born:

And that is JUST on college games. What about war?

Of course, even if he didn't push his sons into WWI, they were bound to go in eventually. His sons all shared his glory-seeking and they would put themselves in harm's way just to get their father's attention sometimes, as I mentioned with Ted truly wondering if--even after fighting in a damn war, getting gassed, and shot, and nearly blinded, AND suffering almost a mental breakdown before he was even a teen--his father was proud of him.

So not only was Quentin's death enough guilt, his sons all got hurt in a war he not only pushed for in general, but he pushed for them to enter as soon as they could. Afterall, if he couldn't fight in the war at 58 with horrible health, then his younger and healthier sons could.

All in all they ALL needed therapy and there is a resounding amount of angst all around the entire family circle. If you read this I am very much sorry.

(I can also probably get the PDFs I used to search for these. I had the physical copies but those were library copies so uh. Not anymore. I can't find the other two books either so some parts WOULD have been pictures instead of text descriptions, but oh well.)

P.S i swear im not insane

#stupid! stuff! i! write!#absolutely NOT tagging their names #this took so long jfc #i had to hard restart my tablet like six times #it also WOULD NOT let me post so skkmkskdnfbk n #im so sorry for my shaky highlighting of certain things #long ass post #tw sui talk #tw death #tw alcohol #tw alcoholism #tw war #if you think i should add any TW's lmk #tw depressing stuff #tw miscarriage #briefly mentioned though #tw trauma

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nympippi · 1 year

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warning for unnecessarily long ask ahead but 100% yes on the "robin trying to find dignity in dying" thing he does not want to accept that his death was that far out of his control. we wants to believe that he had some influence in the matter, like that he could have survived but just made some kind of stupid preventable misstep somewhere

i've also always entertained the idea that maybe later down the line, after the events of the movie, he might try to find some false reassurance in his fate by being like "well, i had to be down there to give finn the nudge he needed. if i hadn't been taken in the first place, he'd be dead, and the grabber would keep killing. it just had to end that way. it had to." <- desperately trying to deny that it could've gone any other way because if so then he suffered for no reason and had no agency or choice and nothing can be done to fix it and he'll never get to grow up and make his dad proud and-

nope. he can't let himself think about that. it's... too much.

my friend tommy and i were once talking abt robin and they said "he wanted to be more than just a tragedy but now that's all he'll ever get the chance to be" and i immediately wanted to strangle them that line has STUCK with me it's so accurate and it makes me so sad

but i can imagine having been given a chance to actually live, that mindset wouldn't stick quite as hard, since now that he's alive and can feel more willing to entertain certain scenarios, he'd think about how finn was able to kill the grabber and he'd think Fuck... Why couldn't that have been me. Why couldn't i have done that instead. If he could do it why shouldn't i have been able to. WHICH leads him into hardcore blaming himself for his own death and finney being kidnapped in the first place

he doesn't want to delve too far into self pity and just... dwell on that, because he's alive! he's fucking alive! he needs to get his shit together and move on, right? he can't waste this second chance. not now that he has it, when he thought he'd never have a shot at it!

but... god. he just can't help it sometimes. just zoning out and imagining alternate scenarios where he gets the upper hand and bludgeons the grabber's head with that fucking phone so hard that his face doesn't even look like a face anymore. he gets wrapped up in the violence of it a lot. wishing a million times worse his own fate on the man who's already received his comeuppance. although, to robin, it really didn't seem harsh enough.

he wishes they could've gotten knives involved. kill the fucker with his own axe, actually. no- chainsaws. How could he have possibly accessed a chainsaw in those circumstances? it doesn't fucking matter because imagining that monster under the whirring blade is cathartic as hell and robin loves it. if you asked him, (and he'd be lying,) that's the only "coping mechanism" he'll ever need.

...i didn't actually mean to go off on that tangent about the grabber dying brutally and sometimes whenever i do that i feel like i got possessed by the spirit of robin for a second but like yeah do ya get me

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, I want to pick apart your brain because your Robin takes and headcannons are so frickin good!!!

Like yes, I get it. Robin would have those moments of fantasies of what if he was the one to never die, what if he was the one to kill the grabber and not Finn. He would get swept up in the violence of it all because that’s his own fucking abuser, a man who canonically sexually assaulted him why wouldn’t he want to turn his face into a puddle of brains and blood. He will never get that chance of revenge both dying and coming back, and I think sometimes those thoughts scare him because of how violent they actually are.

Just this. I’m taking this and shaking it by the neck like a goose my god.

Also how dare your friend say that, expect my therapy bill by the end of next month, how dare, how dare!!

#pippi speaks #the black phone fandom #the black phone #tbp robin #and like yeah Robin thinking about how he absolutely could’ve killed the grabber because he is the strong one. the one everyone sees as #strong. he’s the one Finn looks to for courage and strength #but somehow he was the one to become a victim #Robin physically cannot think about his death and him being a victim because to admit he was a victim was to admit defeat #and that he lost.#once again tying back into the dying with dignity #i frickin love your asks they are so interesting to me because it never misses MY GOD

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wolfsplosion · 1 year

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Do u have any specific things ud like to see n the new stranger things? :>c

HRHGHRGHH . YES . A LOT OF THINGS . SORRY THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE ↓

Mike and Max friendship; I KNOW it's probably not gonna happen bc there is Shit Going On and they are probably not going to have time for slice of life interactions (this is going to be a reoccurring theme on this list methinks) but the little crumbs of madwheeler bestieism we get make me CRAZY like they are so similar in a lot of ways but also the opposite sides of a coin (e.g. uncaring family situation, Mike coming from wealth and Max from poverty) and every time we see a flashback of the events directly prior to s4 they're next to each other and it only makes me crazier .. I just want like ONE scene of them being platonic best friends PLEASE

Will happy ending; this can mean a lot of different things tbh I just cannot have him die or end unhappy .. this also means that anyone he cares about has to be safe too like Joyce and Jonathan and El and the rest of his friends!! if he's not unequivocally happy in the final episode I will change the trajectory of the Duffer Brothers lives

Eddie flashbacks; like how we see the aftermath of Max's brother's death effecting her, I want to see Dustin mourn too (I mean, I don't Want to see it, I want him to be happy, but like. I want to see it. you know what I mean.) also the rest of Hellfire, especially Lucas and Mike and Erica .. show their reactions too I'm begging . my little pet headcanon is that Eddie made Mike realize some things about himself (🤨🏳️��🌈❓) (not in a ship way I'm not a freak I just think he had an Awakening) so like seeing him process Eddie's death would be so. it'd be so

Byers-Hopper found family; I think I am almost guaranteed this in some way but I'm still crossing my fingers for it! show me WillEl twin behavior or ELSE

more siblingism in general; I appreciate s4 for giving me more Lucas and Erica screentime crumbs bc they are so sweet and I love their sibling dynamic sm, I wish we got more of that with Mike and Nancy as well like remember in s1 when they were like "no more secrets between us!" and then didn't fucking do anything with that. let them be siblings please

Byl3r (<- censoring for superstitious reasons a.k.a. I do not want to invoke ship discourse here); I have extremely controversial thoughts abt this ship, like as in I don't . I don't really think the writers are gonna . no I shan't say for fear of my life . but it'd be nice if it did!!!! Will deserves to get what he wants all the time always

Steve surviving; I am so fucking scared

parallels between Will and Henry; weird little boys with strange(!!) powers and trauma....... I think they're probably going to do this at least subtly considering the lines are already there in s4 but if they were more direct I'd be happy, I'd probably care a lot more about Henry's whole thing if Will was involved I'm not gonna lie to you

Max getting out of That Whole Situation; I'm not saying what exactly happens at the end of s4 because Ro might be reading this and we haven't watched the end together yet & I don't think he knows what happens . Ro if you are reading this it's fine everything is fine but also it's so not fine and I'm so scared and afraid. Max bestie we gotta get you out of there

more Argyle; speaks for itself, I'm obsessed w that funky lil stoner & I need him to give Jonathan more terrible therapy it's awesome

El autism diagnosis; this one is a joke. or is it. no it is. or is it

time travel; I'll get a little more into this down there ↓ but I think it's likely to be an element of s5 .. we'll see

now hear me out. here's some things I either do Not want or would be very nervous if they included:

Eddie coming back; WAIT STOP HEAR ME OUT PLEASE .. I want him to not be dead as much as the next Eddie fan and I think the ending they gave him was complete horse shit awful. but I also do NOT have any faith that they'd do a bringing-him-back storyline properly . I've read some good fanfic about it which only would make the reality of whatever they'd do more disappointing ! BUT the exception to this is if they pull some time travel bs, which I think is a good possibility tbh, like with the upside down being stuck in the day Will went missing and stuff, and then they could prevent all that from happening in the first place. I'd still be nervous about the quality of the writing but I'm on board w this conclusion nonetheless! but Eddie coming back as Kas or whatever.. well. I'd just be nervous putting that in the hands of the stranger writers I'm sorry

M!leven endgame (<- censoring for superstitious reasons a.k.a. I do not want to invoke ship discourse here); I just don't know how anyone likes them romantically I'm ngl . it's fine if you do please do not come for me I just don't get it . I fear they will end up together anyway but I don't like it . I'm a Mike apologist but El deserves better than a guy that can't even physically say that he loves her

Will with a gun; this sounds like a joke but I'm so serious hglkjfdgk, I know a lot of people want him having a badass moment with a gun mirroring the shot in s1 where he's taken by the demogorgon and that sounds cool but I just. don't think it suits his character I'M SORRYYY I love that he's a protagonist who's gentle and sensitive, there are other characters who can kick ass violent style rather than my special little dude

anyway that's just off the top of my head, I have so many thoughts swirling around in there so I might be back to add more thank you so much

#literally thank you so much for enabling me I'm shaking /pos

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