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tieronecrush · 9 months

Text

part of me, apart from me

rating: E (18+ only, MDNI)

word count: 14k....its a whole thing okay?

summary:

kindly requested from a lovely anon "You and Javi had one kid together when you were very young, maybe you broke up due to his work schedule. You reunite at their college graduation 👀"

javier & you had daughter right after he graduated college, you with a couple years left yourself. when she was 15, he got the call to head to colombia, deciding with you to pursue his career and leave the two of you in the safety of laredo. seven years later, your daughter is graduating from college and javier is back home for good after cali, forcing himself to face what he finds are his failures, and hold out hope that you still feel the same as he does.

warnings (SPOILERS): BIG self doubt, self deprecation, heavy guilt, separated relationship, co-parenting, javier being in unrequited love, chucho being a king and a great grandfather & father, strained familial relationships on mother's side, discussions of death/violence/drugs, smoking, alcohol use, mentions of food/eating, use of spanish, javi has total DAD moments, he is a DILF ofc, dirty talk, oral sex (f & m (briefly) receiving), unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, becomes established relationship, etc.

a/n: i don't think the anon who requested this realized what it would do to my brain, but i have created a whole universe for this fic. i am in love with their little family and they will live forever in my head and heart. a huge thank you to my bestie el @northernbluess for screaming about javi, this fic, giving me the title for this, and beta-reading this long ass fic for me. love you friend!!!! hope you all enjoy, and that you love them as much as i do!

The engine of Javier’s truck cuts as he turns the ignition, the loud rumble of its mechanics quieting to reveal the sounds of birds chirping. For Texas in May, it’s a pretty mild day, sunlight shining bright against the blue sky. There’s a handful of wispy clouds above him as he opens the door and steps down from the cab, shutting it with a metallic click. He rolls his shoulders and swings his arms to loosen up, the sweat at the nape of his neck is from his nerves more than the temperature.

It’s been two years since he has seen his daughter, Liliana, in person. He’d come back from Colombia after everything that went down with the Cali cartel and the government only a mere 48 hours ago. He’s exhausted, but he made the drive from Laredo to College Station to see his princesa, the light of his life for the last twenty-two years, graduate from college. Specifically, his alma mater, Texas A&M University.

He has been counting down the days until he was back for this occasion, after repeatedly reminding everyone in the embassy that he would be out of the country. It just so happens that he doesn’t need to return to Colombia as he had originally planned.

A deep inhale and slow exhale attempt to calm the jitters that are trembling his fingers.

Fuck, he really wants a cigarette.

But Lili would kill him if he showed up smelling like burnt tobacco when he had promised a week ago he was on the Nicorette thing.

Instead, he shakes his head to himself and hooks his sunglasses in the open chest of his light blue short-sleeve button-up. Out of habit, he reaches to his lower back to feel for his pistol, his touch brushing denim.

Another inhale, slow exhale.

He can do this.

It’s you and his daughter. Two people that he loves. Two people he’s been working for.

Maybe that’s why he’s so fucking nervous.

How can you welcome him back every time he makes a visit? How can his daughter be excited to talk to him every week from across the equator? He’s been gone for years. Most of her teenage life, and nearly all of her college career. He’s only been back once since she moved to university. Once.

What a fucking asshole.

Certainly not a good father.

His boots tick against the pavement of the front path up to the dingy, weather-worn two-story house. He remembers getting photographs of Liliana in front of this house a couple of years ago, sent from you and stuffed in an envelope along with photos retelling her entire summer. That one of her standing proudly in front of this house hung on his fridge until he packed it up two days ago.

Every day he looked at it, he wished nothing more than to have been like one of her friends’ dads that helped with moving in and fixing up the house, maybe slipping her a hundred dollar bill to spend on groceries or alcohol on his way out to the car after saying goodbye.

Instead, he was stuck in Colombia under the thumb of the U.S. government and sleazy CIA agents that were controlling him like a puppet.

He’s here now, though. And he’s trying so hard to get over the tightness in his chest, to clear the lump in his throat, and to dry his sweaty palms when he gets up the creaky wooden steps and up to the front door. His middle finger presses the doorbell aggressively, taking a step back and shaking out his shoulders again.

Gaze focused on his shoes, he looked up as he heard the door unlock. A wide, genuine grin breaks out on his face when he sees Liliana in the threshold, that same smile copied and pasted onto hers, even down to the dimple on his right cheek.

“Tata (Dad)! You’re here!” she exclaims, jumping out of the door and hooking her arms around his neck. He laughs as he catches her, one arm wrapping around her waist and his other hand reaching up to hold the back of her head. He pets her long, brunette hair, squeezing her in a tight hug against his chest.

“Oh, Lili Pad. Missed you so much, mija.” He kisses the side of her head before loosening his hold on her, taking in the sight of his daughter after seeing her only through photographs for years.

“Tata, I’m graduating college tomorrow. Not little Lili Pad anymore.”

Her eye roll gives Javier’s attitude a run for its money.

Damn, she really got a lot from his gene pool.

The same deep brown eyes with hints of amber, softened and round give away their every emotion. The same mouth that finds a perfect pout, combined with those eyes he was always pushed over when she was younger. Anything she wanted, he would give to her. Even now.

She has your nose, though. Your ears. Your feminine facial structure. Your charming, warm personality.

“You’re always gonna be Lili Pad, amorcita. Always gonna be my babygirl,” he presses another kiss to her temple, unraveling her from him, “But you have grown into such a beautiful woman, Lili. You remind me of your mamá when she was your age.”

“There’s that Peña charm.”

He looks over his daughter’s shoulder and sees you leaning against the banister, arms crossed over your chest with a smirk playing at your lips. His heart rate increases to double speed, his now dry hands clamming up again as he drinks you in from head to toe.

Years away and he is still so fucking in love with you.

Another reason to curse his time in Colombia.

It was a mutual decision, to split up before he left. There was no timeline for how long he would be gone or when he could come back that first time he went down there.

And there was no way in hell he was putting the two most important people in his life in the middle of what was basically a fucking warzone.

So, that was that. Co-parents, and close friends.

And an agonizing ache every time he saw you since he left.

He grins right back at you, Lili waving him inside after her. Crossing the entryway to you, he opens his arms with a quirk of his brows.

Your smirk reaches its full stretch, shifting into a gracious smile as you drop your arms and step into his, snaking your hands around to his back. He holds you tightly, a shorter embrace than the one with Liliana but long enough for your signature scent to pull him back to being a young, dumb college student who was madly in love. A chaste kiss is pressed to your cheek before he pulls away.

“I’m pretty sure she gets that from you, amor. I don’t recall a time when you weren’t able to get what you wanted — everyone you meet thinks you’re a delight.”

“See? More charm. Laying it on a little thick, Jav,” you tease, hitting your fist against his bicep gently.

He glances at your arm when you lower it back to your side, catching the glint of the bracelet with Liliana’s initials in gold charms that is always on your wrist. He gave it to you after she was born, once she was taken home from the hospital and the two of you were standing over her crib watching her sleep. Ever since then, he’s never seen you without it.

“Alright, alright. Enough of the weird, complimentary back-and-forth you guys do. Do you wanna see the place before I move out, viejo?” Lili cuts in and Javi’s eyes leave your wrist to look at her with a smile.

“Ay, no soy viejo, princesa (Ay, I am not old, princess). Now lead the way and no more making fun of me,” he nods for her to walk ahead of him, taking a few steps and glancing back at you, “You not coming on the tour, amor?”

You shake your head and give Liliana a look that says ‘Care to explain?’. Being on the receiving end of that look many times, he knows it a bit too well coming from you.

“Mom is being amazing and helpful and wonderful like Mom always is and is packing my closet for me.” Lili cringes as she admits it to her father, Javier shaking his head and letting out a long exhale.

“Liliana, you have known you’re moving for months and you’ve waited until the day before graduation to pack? Dios, somos demasiado parecidos (God, we are too much alike),” he nods for her to continue walking as you laugh behind him, the sound traveling as you walk upstairs and bringing a faint smile to his lips as he follows his daughter.

He hovers around Lili’s room as you pace from her closet to the cases laid out on the floor, organizing everything and folding as you walk back and forth. Your daughter is downstairs, tasked with packing up her items from the kitchen and the living room. Javi’s been given the whole tour, now dropped off to “catch up with Mom”, as Lili put it.

Across the surfaces and walls, he spies the little gifts he’s sent her over his years away: all of the birthday cards he’s hand-picked and written letters in stacked in a box on her desk, the mola depicting lilies framed and hanging on her wall, the brightly colored Wayuu mochila that he’d bought from one of the open air markets in Bogotá hanging off of the door knob to her closet.

There’s a sharp pain in his chest when he sees the small picture frames sitting on her nightstand. He sits on the edge of her bed and picks them up one by one to study them. The first is a photo of you and Lili, smiling from ear to ear. He recognizes the photo as one he took on his visit before last, the one he made before Lili went to college. The pair of you are standing in the middle of an overgrown field on the Peña ranch, sun setting in the background. Lili insisted on watching the sunset all together on Javi’s last night at home, and he snuck the camera out with the three of you.

He has a copy of the photo right next to his bed, too.

Setting the frame down delicately, he picks up the next one, this one of Lili and him alone. It’s from years ago, the wide smile on Lili’s face showing off her missing front tooth. Javi grins back at his little girl in the photo, his eyes combing over to the younger version of him, way back when he was a sheriff in Laredo. It must have been during the holidays — there’s a shiny plastic red gift bow on his chest and Lili is wearing a knit sweater with a snowman on it.

Where did all the time go?

The last photograph grows the lump in his throat and the ache in between his ribs. It’s a photo of the three of you, one from his most recent visit a couple of years ago. Dressed up for a Dean’s Award ceremony that Liliana was nominated for. She looks like the spitting image of you, and you are absolutely glowing with pride for her. You two are so beautiful. He looks exhausted, anxiety in his eyes that never seems to have left since his first year in the DEA. It was around the time when he thought he was going to be able to stay, to be around for Lili and for you. He told you what happened in Colombia that got him sent home; you understood, of course, you understood why he did it all. And he admitted it all with the faintest smile on his face, the thought of getting to settle was appealing more and more to him.

And then he got the call.

He battled with the decision.

He talked to you about it.

You said, “We’re always gonna be here, Jav. You need to go. What’s a few more years?”

Everything. A few more years was everything.

He missed so much.

“You okay, Jav?”

He looks up from the photo in his hands, eyes focusing back on the room instead of a million miles ahead. You are kneeling next to one of the suitcases, carefully placing some of your daughter’s clothes in neatly. Those eyes you’re giving him turn his brain to mush, all of the escalating thoughts dripping away.

“Yeah, yeah, all good. Reminiscing,” he nods to himself as he turns the photo for you to see before setting it back down, pulling a grin onto his face, “Do you remember when the three of us would all go out to dinner or meet up with my tíos and tías when Lili was a baby? And they would always ask us when we were getting married?”

A gentle laugh comes from you as you think back, knowing how many times you got asked the same question over and over again.

“Yes, I definitely remember that. I also remember you getting so annoyed one day that you just—”

“Lied and said that we got married at the courthouse?”

“Yes! I got such an onslaught of questions after you said that. That news, which wasn’t even news, spread like wildfire throughout your family.”

“Well, at least it got people off our backs, esposa,” he winks, grin lifting to one side to meld into a smirk.

You roll your eyes dramatically, the wide smile peeling your lips apart making Javi’s heart race faster.

“You want some help, amor? Feel like an imbécil not doing anything,” he slaps his hands on his knees as he stands from Lili’s bed, taking the handful of steps that separate you. One knee is bent to bring him down to the ground, huffing out a sigh as he gets fully onto his knees.

“Sure you’re gonna be able to get up from the floor, viejo?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you continue to put rolled clothes into the luggage. Javier rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

“I think I can handle getting up from the ground, bromista. Been jumping off of roofs and trekking through fucking jungles for seven years.” He doesn’t wait for your response, grabbing one of the unfolded shirts from next to you and attempting to fold it as neatly as you’ve done with the rest of them.

“Alright, alright. I believe you. How about I roll, you organize what I hand you into the suitcase? Sounds good?” You hold a hand out for the shirt in his hand, a small laugh as he resigns his attempt and passes the fabric over.

“Sí, jefa (Yes, boss),” a soft grin pulls one side of his mouth up, deepening the dimple on his right cheek. You look at him with your own tender smile when you hand him a rolled pair of jeans to put away, reaching your hand up to poke the little crevice in his cheek like you always do — like you always did.

The two of you work quietly for a few minutes, falling into a rhythm. Liliana makes noise from downstairs, cabinets open and closing, sounds of bubble wrap being ripped echoing throughout the house.

“How’re you doin’, Jav?”

The question strikes him, slumping his shoulders and training his gaze on the shirt in his hands as he rubs his index and thumb over the softened cotton.

It’s a simple enough question; he expected you to ask when you first saw him. In a greeting, he thought it would be easy to brush it off, tell you ‘Estoy bien’ or that he was happy to be home.

But right now, packing up his daughter’s clothes to move her out of college and back into your home — the day before his little girl’s graduation — it feels too difficult to lie.

Sitting alone here with you, the mother of his daughter, the beauty that gave him his greatest gift, the woman — the strong, commanding, warm, gentle woman that he is still so incredibly in love with — is drawing the truth out of him before he can fully catch up with what he’s admitting.

“Feeling like a real pendejo. I missed so much. Too much, amor. I’m sorry.”

“Jav. You are here now. You always show up when she needs her Tata. Even if it’s not physically, you show up for her every day. No more of that talk this weekend, do you hear me? You’re here. That’s it. Not missing anything.”

How do you always know what to say to him?

How did he ever walk away from you?

Javier nods his head, pressing his lips into a tight line as his fingers twitch for nicotine. He would kill for that slow drag of smoke filling his lungs, relaxing his racing mind and heart with a break that lasts as long as the burning paper and tobacco.

Instead, he stands on his knees, grabbing the plastic pack out of his pocket and popping out a chiclet of gum, tossing it into his mouth, and chewing furiously. The look on your face is observational, a twitch of your lips into the faintest grin calms him nearly as much as a cigarette would.

He sits back on his haunches, one of his hands reaching to touch you, faltering when your head turns down to fold the item of clothing in your hands.

“Te quiero, esposa,” his hand grazes his fingertips along the denim covering his thighs, twitching to move the hair curtaining your face, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Jav,” your head shakes back and forth subtly, eyes lifting from your lap and softening as you smile at him, “Love you, too.”

“Jesús Cristo, Liliana, you have a lot of shit. I went to college with a suitcase and a duffle bag — and left four years later with just the duffle bag,” Javier shakes his head as he carries the last piece of luggage downstairs to the living room where the rest of her packed belongings are accumulating to pack up in your three cars the day after her graduation.

“God, Jav, you sound like my father. ‘I walked twelve miles to school with rocks in my backpack and in a foot of snow’,” you drop your voice to mock him, laughing with your daughter as she walks in from the kitchen and stands next to you, “Getting to be an old man, Peña.”

“Mamá is right, Tata. You’re the youngest dad out of all my friends and you sound the oldest right now,” Lili says through a wide smile, and you laugh with her now, sending Javier a brightly teasing grin.

He grumbles and rolls his eyes, waving a hand at both of you dismissively.

“Yeah, yeah. Enough from you two bromistas. Y’know, I didn’t miss you two ganging up on me — it was one thing through the phone, but in person is just too much.”

Your tongue clicks and you walk over to him, pinching his cheek as you pass by him, “Aw, Jav, it’s all love. You’re just easy to rile up, makes it fun.”

You wink at him with your back to Liliana, slipping out of the room to grab more of her boxes from the kitchen. At your touch and the minuscule flirtation, his heart rate thumps louder in his ears. His eyes follow you out of the room, snapping back when Liliana asks him a question. He shakes himself out of the trance, looking over to his daughter and stepping over to where she’s stood in front of an open box.

“Qué pasa, mija? (What’s up, my daughter?)” Javier reaches an arm up and wraps it around her shoulders, holding her against his side as he presses a kiss to her head. His eyes drop to what’s held in front of her, a chill running down his spine when he sees a photo of Escobar across the front page of the newspaper, the headline reading ‘ESCOBAR KILLED IN MEDELLÍN’.

“Do you want this copy, Tata? I kept two of them, but I think the other one is already packed away and I don’t know if I need both anymore really. Kept one to show my professors all about you,” Lili turns her head and looks up at him.

Javier shakes his head, a tight smile facing his daughter before he drops his arm from her shoulders.

“No, no thanks, mija. No need to keep the other one either. I wasn’t even there for that, amorcita. I think I was actually about to come over to Mamá’s house to see you when I got the call,” he tasks his antsy hands with sealing a cardboard box with packing tape, “May as well toss them out. Or send them to Mr. Murphy if you want them to be kept safe.”

“I don’t want to get rid of the other one. I want to keep it. Even if you weren’t there for it, you still did so much work to get to that point, Tata. I mean, you doing all of that in Colombia is what made me want to do criminal psychology,” she carefully slips the newspaper into one of the open boxes, closing it up and holding her hand out for the tape roll.

“Mi princesa, you—“

“I know, Tata. I promise I am not going to be running on rooftops or caught in the middle of shootouts with the DEA. No fighting cartels, viejo. I just want to work with profiling and behind-the-scenes stuff.” She takes the tape, closing up the box completely as Javier’s heart cinches in his chest.

He is so incredibly proud of his Lili Pad, but he can’t deny how angry he got when Liliana chose her major finally — of course, it had to be criminology. She explained she was drawn to it because of his work, but assured that she is not interested in doing the same thing he has done for years. Behind the scenes, possibly going into forensic psychology or helping to profile criminals. Office jobs, for the most part. But he couldn’t shake that anger inside for months; never been angry with his daughter, and he knew she was as headstrong as him and would achieve what she wanted. He was angry with himself, for even planting any sort of seed, even unknowingly, for Lili to get into this type of work. He knows that eventually her end of the promise might not be kept — he knows her, how easily excitable she can get with new opportunities. She’ll likely end up climbing ranks or even getting into some agency like the FBI or something.

The thought of her out there, in a tac vest or with a weapon, makes bile burn his esophagus.

“Alright, I think we’re done here for today. Better go check into the hotel and we can get ready quick, then we can swing by and pick you up for dinner, Lili.” Your voice pulls him out of his spiral, stare focusing back into the room and glancing over at you in the doorway from the kitchen.

“Sí, jefa. Sounds like a plan,” he pats the pockets of his jeans and feels for his truck keys, “You gonna be ready if we come in an hour, princesa?”

Lili rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest and popping her hip out, a stance all too familiar to Javier.

“Sí, Tata. Besides, I’m not the one you should be asking that to. Mom is always the one who takes longer to get ready.”

Javier laughs when you walk over to your daughter, pinching her side playfully. He shakes his head and gives Liliana a knowing look.

“Mija, I have known that fact about your mamá for longer than you’ve been alive. I’m guessing it will be an hour and a half until we’re back, but wanted to make sure you were actually ready. An hour to you women is at least an hour and fifteen to the rest of the world.”

Javier smiles with a loud laugh as both you and Lili approach him and swat his arms, pinching his sides without causing any pain whatsoever. There were protests on either side of him, his daughter and her mother annoyed with the judgments on their time management but all three of them knew he was right.

“Alright, alright, I apologize…” he surrenders from the assault with his hands up, taking deep breaths as he recovers from his laughter before continuing with a smirk, “But we all know I’m right!”

Javier makes a quick exit out of the room and through the front door before any other hits or pinches can be given to him, hearing the stifled laughter from you and Lili from inside the house.

“Yeah, you better run, Jav!” you call out as you gather your purse and fish out your car keys, saying a quick goodbye to Lili and following his path out of the house, “Now I’m gonna be ready in an hour just to prove you wrong.”

“That would only make me overjoyed. Maybe we could make our reservation in time then,” he waves goodbye to Liliana before turning to continue down the front path of her house, to his truck parked in front of your small SUV.

“You wanna follow me over there?” he asks as he unlocks the driver’s side door, watching you open yours and nod to him.

“Yeah, sounds good to me. Don’t be driving like a bat out of hell, though, Javier.”

“Hey, I can’t make any promises. Used to driving all around Colombian cities, it’s a lot different on those roads,” he jokes before making sure you get into your car, hopping into the truck, and listening to the engine turn over before he leads you both over to your accommodations for the rest of the weekend.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Peña. We would normally be absolutely willing to find a solution for you, but we’re fully booked for the graduation weekend. We only have one room for you.” The front desk receptionist looks terrified of Javier at this moment, his glare that he has perfected, normally reserved for serious criminals or dirty agents, is aimed directly at the young college student working here.

When the two of you were trying to check in, they had been informed that the reservation Javier had made for the two of you, two standard rooms, had been double booked, resulting in the parties involved only getting delegated one room each.

His jaw notched to the side, hands gripping the edge of the front counter with his arms wide and head dipping down in annoyance. He picks it up, addressing the hotel employee again.

“I made a reservation months ago. I called from fucking Colombia — I paid about forty dollars wasting twenty minutes on the phone with whoever was working that day just to get this booked—”

“Jav,” your hand finds his chest as his eyes find yours, the rapid heartbeat thumping in his chest definitely not slowing down at what was supposed to be your soothing touch, “It’s fine. We can survive with one room for two nights. It’s either taking this or sleeping on the floor at Lili’s.”

Holding your gaze, he can see the words unsaid in the look you’re giving him.

Shut up and take the room key.

And there’s no way he is continuing to argue with the kid in front of him as he squirms under your own stern stare. With a grumble, he straightens up, your hand leaving his chest and cool, conditioned air chilling the spot that was covered in your warmth. The rest of the check-in process is painless, with Javier paying for the stay and taking the room keys. He turns around to face you, handing you one of the access cards and nodding toward the elevators.

“Let me take that, amor.” He leans down and grabs both duffles from the floor, one his and one yours, following your lead over to the elevators. The two of you stand and wait for the doors to open, the familiar ding alerting them to which one will be taking them up to their floor. When the doors slide apart, a large group of people started to spill out into the lobby. You step back to avoid a collision with a man not watching where he is walking, and Javier’s hand immediately finds your lower back to steady you. It lingers as the rush of people clears out — he makes no move to take it away until he guides you into the small square space, dropping his touch to press the button for your floor.

Once the two of you make it into the room, he sets your bags down on the desk and dresser, walking over to the thermostat to turn it down for you without a second thought.

“You remember,” you observe with a grin, rifling through your bag to find your toiletries and a change of clothes for dinner.

“Course I do, always had to have the air blasting in our apartment or the house. You never could sleep without a massive blanket and your toes under my legs. Never did understand your need to be freezing, always,” he chuckles at the memories of every night with you, until the separation when he was assigned to Bogotá.

“I dunno why either, just was always the most comfortable. Felt cozier, plus it always gave an excuse to cuddle.” Your giggle sends a tingle from his ears down the back of his neck and across his shoulders, a shudder easily blamed on the intense fans of the air-con.

“Go ahead and take the first shower, esposa. I’ll wait so that you can have more time to get ready and all that,” Javier crosses the room, saddling up next to you to rummage through his own weekender bag. In his periphery, he can see you flash a smile as you gather your things in one arm, using the free hand to brush across his shoulder blades when you walk behind him.

“Very kind, Jav. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

You stand in the doorway of the bathroom and he picks his head up, turning it to look at you. Head to toe, he scans you quickly before settling on your face, shaking his head.

“Take your time, amor. We both know I can be ready in ten minutes if I need to be,” he sends you a wink and half a smirk appears when you laugh, shutting the door behind you.

He hears the water run, kicking off his boots and sitting at the edge of the bed with an extensive sigh. Rubbing his eyes of exhaustion, he’s still for a moment. Shoulders drop, limbs feeling heavy as the day catches up with him. Moving, packing, even fighting with himself has drained him over the course of the day.

He loved spending time with his Liliana again, seeing her eager to walk the stage tomorrow and collect her diploma. And being around you again, drudging up all of the feelings and desires and words that he has tamped down for the last seven years. But it all comes with reminders of how absent he was, thousands of miles away, how undeserving he is of being welcomed back into the arms of you two, how his daughter was so proud, idolized him so much that she chose to study a major that puts her in the same field of work. He deserves distance from her, a cold shoulder from you — aloofness of some sort for the choice he made.

At least that’s what he’s told himself over and over for nearly the last decade. No matter how much you or Lili continually proved those thoughts wrong, they always came back.

He glances at his watch before standing and moving toward the bag again, hearing the water shut off and moving to grab his toiletries. Taking out the leather Dopp kit jostles something else in the bag loose, flinging it out onto the floor. Bending down with a sigh to retrieve it, he’s faced with the metal badge emblazoned with the DEA seal and ‘USA’ carved into it. It must have been in the bag from his plane ride earlier this week, and it serves as a blatant reminder of what he needs to talk to you about on this trip. What he needs to tell Liliana, too.

The badge gets thrown back into the bag and he walks toward the open bathroom door, stopping short within the threshold. You’re standing at the counter, products splayed around you to do your makeup. Even after living with you for 15 years, he barely has a clue what any of it does besides lipstick and mascara. He’d spent many mornings and evenings listening to you explaining your routine, but never quite getting down all the product names. There’s a pang in his chest, felt deep in the bones of his rib cage; the sight gives him major deja vu, nostalgia wavering over him. Even his subconscious longs for a time when you were his.

A humorous smile reflects back at him with your eyes glued to his in the mirror. Your fingers tap a rogue-colored product across your cheeks, giving you a bit of a brighter, subtly flushed look.

“Sorry, Jav, promise I’ll be out of here in like five minutes. I am trying to be quick.”

“Cálmate, amor. No hay prisa.There’s no rush, really…” he clears his throat, setting his toiletry bag down on an open space at the counter. He leans one hip against it, body facing you and studying the motions of painting your face while his mind works up the courage to bring up the pressing conversation.

“I, um, I actually have to tell you something.” His eyes cast down to the side, the grout of the tiles suddenly interested him.

“What is, Jav? You can tell me anything, you know that.” The compact in your hand is forgotten, clicked closed, and set down next to you as you mirror his stance. One hip against the counter, facing him.

“I know. I know. There’s just—It’s kind of a big thing and I wanted to tell you as soon as it all happened but I didn’t know how things would exactly shake out…”

“Javier. Take a breath,” you instruct him, hand against his chest with purposeful pressure, taking a deep inhale along with him and letting it out slowly. You don’t remove your hand, and he’s grateful for the gesture.

“I retired from the DEA two days ago. The morning before I left to come home. So, uh, I’m back at the ranch with Pop and I’ll be here now.” A mess of emotion comes out of his voice — fear, anxiety, relief, disappointment. Painfully, he drags his eyes up to your face, seeing your eyes wide with surprise and your brows relaxing from shooting up at the news. It’s an unreadable, unfamiliar expression; he watches as it all morphs behind your eyes before sympathy washes over every feature of yours, tender tone speaking up in the tiny bathroom.

“What happened?”

Everything was spilling out after that — information that was surely spreading across the US over the last 48 hours, not that he paid any attention to the news right now. Ambassador Crosby told him that he had won, that the Cali Godfathers would be locked up, at least for the foreseeable future. How dirty he felt when Crosby said the words, “You played the system like a goddamn fiddle…” The ledger proving the Colombian president’s campaign donations from the Cali cartel in exchange for immunity, the knowledge that the US government allowed all of it to occur, how he had spoken about it all to the reporter from El Tiempo.

“Javier, Jav, oh—I’m so proud of you.” The air is knocked him his lungs when the sound of those words reaches his ears, the next second being wrapped up in your tight embrace. It takes a moment to register your hug before he relaxes his weight against you, tension melting as you speak to him right next to his ear, “You told the truth. You helped every single Colombian citizen know what their government was doing to them. Just, holy shit, Javi. That’s fucking badass. I’m so, so proud of you, honey.”

Kindness, understanding, and comfort ooze around him and break down the stoicism that he’s been masked with for the last two days, tears welling in his eyes and spilling a few over that he quickly wipes away.

How can you always seem to find endless compassion for him? He’s just told you he quit his job with no real backup plan and all you said was how proud of him you are.

You’re a really good friend.

A great friend, actually.

Fuck, he is so in love with you still it hurts.

“Thank you…I don’t deserve your pride though, I did so many bad things,” his voice is hoarse on the last word, tightening his arms around you to quell his emotion.

“None of that, Jav. You uncovered a whole fucking…political scandal. Told people what their governments were doing. That’s honest; it’s ethical and respectable. You did the right thing, Jav.”

The last few words grow the lump in his throat, a slow nod against the side of your head. His lips brush your ear, confiding as if it is something he hasn’t said many times before, “Te quiero, amor.”

The smile is evident in your voice despite the fact that the hug keeps your face from his sight, and the saccharine sweetness of your voice sends his heart racing again, “Love you too, honey.”

At dinner, once there’d been a few drinks and some food served, Javier told Liliana the news he broke to you in your hotel bathroom. Albeit, it was an abridged version, details of his mistakes and pains of guilt left out for his precious daughter’s sake. She was eager to get out into the world and make a difference, and he had all the faith that she could, unlike him. He didn’t want his story to taint her view of what she was going to be able to achieve with her sheer determination.

He had that at one point. Probably lost it sometime in the last few years, slowly and then all at once when those tapes were found.

Liliana was understanding of her father resigning, chalking it up to his years down there catching up with him and teasing him for being an old man now. He took it gracefully, laughing along with the two of you and riffing on his own, with self-effacing jokes. As the conversation wrapped up, questions from Lili were answered by him — he was home, for good, living with Chucho and helping run the ranch. He would absolutely be around to help her get ready for her first day at work and help her move into her new apartment in San Antonio. And yes, he would be delighted to come over for dinner once or twice a week to spend some time with her, and you. Liliana had formulated the idea herself, earning a nod of approval from you and a warm invitation seconded.

After he accepted, Liliana changed the subject to rant about whoever the university had chosen for the commencement speech and how random of a choice it was. He listened intently, always hanging on every word from his Lili Pad, but he couldn’t help but be distracted by your hand coming to the place on his thigh closest to his knee, resting there for a moment before giving him a supportive squeeze. Nothing was spoken about the gesture, no looks were exchanged when your hand stayed there until the food came.

Sitting in the booth, observing and listening to his girls bounce back and forth in conversation, he finds the first moment of resounding comfort that he’s felt in seven years.

The last conversation he had with Spencer just days ago after the recent trial in D.C. rings in his mind, the two men standing at the displayed photos of Special Agents from the DEA.

He had asked Javier, “What else is a guy like you gonna do?”

At the time, Javier wasn’t too sure.

But now, with two of his favorite smiles beaming, one identical to his own, and the chorus of laughter that soundtracks his life, and his heart racing, the heart that bleeds for his family sitting here with him, he knows what he’s gonna do.

Be a father.

Be a partner.

Be a friend, a son, a lover, a teacher, a student, a listener, a provider, a protector.

Be everything he hasn’t been for nearly a decade.

He is going to be there for you two. No matter what.

The two of you are back in the hotel room, Liliana dropped off safely at her home and promptly reminded of the schedule for tomorrow. Javier threw her a, “Don’t be too hungover,” that you rolled your eyes at, the faintest of smiles on your face, knowing exactly how Javier was at his own graduation. You, unknowingly pregnant with Lili at the time, were feeling sick and extremely nervous to be seeing his parents the next day, so there was no drinking for you that night. The next morning you were rubbing his back as he threw up before dragging him into the shower and then dressing him like a doll.

He remembers the only thing he was thinking that morning was how much he loved you, how much he was going to miss you after moving home to Laredo to become a sheriff while you were finishing school the next year.

Life seemed so simple back then; only had to worry about visiting his girlfriend at the weekends, showing up for work on time, and taking care of his parents.

A few weeks later, you told him you were pregnant.

God, how fast was time moving? He feels like that was merely last year.

“Bathroom’s all yours, Jav.”

He looks up from his duffel to see you walking out in your pajamas, a smirk crossing his face at the faded Texas A&M shirt he recognized from his own closet from years before. With a nod to you, he unbuttons his shirt halfway before talking to you over his shoulder.

“I can take the floor, amor. You take the bed.”

A loud laugh from behind turns him around, and you look at him like he’s got about four heads.

“Javier Luis, you’re not going to be able to get up in the morning if you sleep on the floor, viejo. If it’s weird for you to sleep in the bed with me, I’ll be the one to take the floor.”

“No, you’re not. And it’s not weird for me, I just didn’t know if you would be comfortable with it.”

“Don’t know if you forgot, but we have slept in the same bed together before, Jav. It’s kind of how we have a daughter, you dork,” you snort and climb onto the plush mattress, slipping under the duvet and leaning up against the pillows.

“Hey, I was trying to be a gentleman, no need for the name-calling.”

“You are always a gentleman, hon, no need to try. Plus I have to call you names, who else will keep you humble?”

“Our daughter. That’s who. I think she’s worse than you with the jokes,” he laughs.

Your smile widens, laughing along with him and shrugging, “I wonder where she gets that from.”

A wink is sent his way, stirring his stomach before he clears his throat and nods to the bathroom, “Gonna get ready for bed, you all done in there?”

“Yeah, yeah. Go for it,” you wave toward the bathroom, grabbing your book from the nightstand.

Javier makes quick work of brushing his teeth and the rest of his night routine, avoiding his tired reflection before shutting the lights out and going back into the bedroom. Book still in your hand, he stands in his jeans again, rubbing the back of his neck. Without looking up you pat the spot next to you.

“I know you sleep in your boxers, just get in the damn bed.”

Ever since you became a mom, your power of reading his mind has gotten way too good.

Well, maybe it isn’t perfect cause if you could read his mind, you probably wouldn’t have suggested sharing a bed again with the amount of time he spends thinking about you.

“Sometimes it makes me mad how often you know what I’m going to say,” he grumbles and shucks off his jeans leaving them at the side of the bed and climbing under the covers. He stays comfortably at the side of the bed, sighing deeply as he closes his eyes.

“Comes with experience.”

“Why can’t I do it for you then?” He opens his eyes and turns onto his side to look at you, “I’ve known you just as long as you’ve known me.”

The book in your hands is closed, and laid in your lap, looking down at Javier and shrugging, “You have your own way of it. I might know what you’re going to say, but you always anticipate everyone’s needs and you’re always one step ahead of me. I mean, you always see like four steps ahead. You saved Lili many broken bones at the playground growing up and you always used to be able to cheer me up and fix whatever was making me sad or angry before I really even knew what it was myself.”

A grin slowly pulls the corners of your lips apart, one of your hands reaching over to tap the top of his head.

“Well, I quickly learned the signs of your hangriness. That was most often the reason you were upset,” he chuckles, one side of his mouth ticking up as he relaxes further into the bed.

Comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you read your book for a few more minutes, Javier lying next to you and trying, half-assed, to fall asleep. He really was just sneaking glances at you every time he adjusted positions, admiring the concentrated look on your face, engrossed in the story.

At one point, the book was shut for the night and set on the nightstand, the lamp clicked off and you relaxed back into bed. You turned on your side to face him, voice whisper quiet, “You asleep, Jav?”

He hums lowly, vibrations absorbed by the mattress before his eyes peel open and adjust to the darkness.

“Not yet. Qué pasa, amor?”

“Did you quit smoking?”

“Uh, I guess so, yeah. Why are you asking that now?”

“Just curious. I didn’t see you dip outside to smoke at all today and you got a non-smoking room, too. Very un-Javier.”

“Oh, is that all I am to you, esposa? A smoker?” He has a lilt of teasing in his voice, raising his eyebrows as you laugh faintly.

“Shut up, I didn’t say that.” There’s a gentle shove to his shoulder before your hands are back by you, tucked under your chin as you curl up again.

“I was going to congratulate you on quitting, but now I’m not sure if I want to, meanie.”

“You’re the one randomly questioning me about my habits! Meanie.”

“I am not a meanie, I had no bad intentions!”

“Sure, and what would you have said if I told you I didn’t quit?”

Javier gives you a satisfied smirk when you’re silent, shaking his head to himself.

“Knew it,” he rolls onto his back, hand resting on his stomach and turning his head to the side, “I quit ‘cause Lili called me before I came home and asked me to. She’s asked for a while, but I kept putting it off with the stress of work and everything. Thought now’s the time after I resigned.”

In the darkness, he suddenly feels your hand on his bicep closest to you, rubbing up and down slowly.

“You’re a good dad, Jav. The best. Glad you’re the one I got to have a kid with.”

If he says anything now, it will come out incoherent from the lump sitting in his throat. Instead, he hums in response, nothing else spoken until you’ve fallen asleep.

“I’m glad it was me, too.”

It is hot as fuck.

He’s trying so hard not to sweat his ass off while in the cattle of people funneling into the arena at this moment, attempting to keep his light beige button-up dry. He was going to wear his normal uniform of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt when he heard the weather report on the TV this morning, but your face when you saw him pull out navy slacks and his long-sleeved shirt that he packed, was too excitable and adorable to not wear anything else — “We’ll be matching! Our pictures will be so cute with Lili in her white dress.” Standing in your floral, mid-length navy dress, who was he to deny you those coordinated photos?

Things had been much more…familiar since last night and this morning. It was the back and forth that was effortless, the fall into a perfectly choreographed routine — him anticipating your moves and you knowing what he was thinking before he could even ask a question. The close quarters of the shared room suddenly felt much too large to Javier; he was desperate for too small of space so he could stay close to you, but with 15 years of experience living together, and even longer dating, you moved too in sync with each other to collide.

He was close to you this morning, though, waking up at the sound of the alarm clock next to his side of the bed; his arm moved to shut it off, coasting along your hip and thigh before reaching behind him to stop the noise. A grumble from you pulled him back, positioning himself again on his side and adjusting the arm that ended up underneath your head, his chest enveloping your back when his other arm slung around your waist. If he closed his eyes, he could swear it was any other morning from before Colombia, stretching all the way back to his bed in his shitty college apartment that you tolerated spending nights in.

There isn’t a thing in this world he wouldn’t give to be able to have this wake up every day from now on.

He knows he needs to talk to you, to tell you all that he is feeling, but he can’t bring himself to do it now. Not before his daughter’s college graduation when the two of you are getting along like old friends. The peace shouldn’t be disrupted by you potentially rejecting him.

Which has brought him standing behind you in the crowd of parents and families, a hand on your lower back to keep a tab on you as everyone filters in through the doors. He keeps his eyes scanning out of habit, searching for a danger that surely isn’t there, while you chat away with Chucho walking directly next to you.

His attention is elsewhere, anxiety creeping into his bones at the masses gathering here, impossible to keep tabs on everyone. The three most important people to him are in this building, and he has no means to protect them if something happened—

No. Enough. This isn’t Colombia. There are no sicarios here.

It’s supposed to be an enjoyable day.

The thoughts circle in his mind as a mantra while the three of you find seats, Javier tailing with you in the middle of him and his father. You sit at the end of one row, holding the same order when you finally take your seats.

Smoothing your skirt, Javier watches as you turn to Chucho, giving him an update about something that was recently repaired in the house.

“Wait, you had to get a new water heater? Why didn’t you tell me you needed one?” he interjects with an edge, brow furrowing as he grills you.

“Jav, it was fine, Pops helped me call around for quotes and we found a good deal. It was solved in like two days. It didn’t seem like it was something I needed to make a long-distance phone call for,” you sigh defeatedly, leaning back and looking down at your nails, fidgeting with your fingers at his harshness.

Javier rolls his eyes, grumbling under his breath, “I should have known. Could’ve helped with it…Eres tan terca. Nunca pides ayuda, incluso si la necesitas. Terca. (You are so stubborn. You never ask for help, even if you need it. Stubborn.)”

Chucho stretches an arm behind your back, hitting his shoulders to sit up and addressing him with a stern tone.

“Mijo, no te pongas tan quisquilloso. Ella no quería preocuparte todo el camino allí abajo. Disculpas. (Son, don't be so oversensitive. She didn't want to worry you all the way down there. Apologize.)”

His jaw ticks to the side, sitting up straight, and shaking his head. With a sigh, he turns to you, leaning closer to speak without his father overhearing.

“I’m sorry, amor. I didn’t mean to be rude; I get frustrated not being around to help you with stuff like that. Shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that. ‘M glad Pop was there to help if I couldn’t.”

Your hand rests on his thigh, patting lovingly as you respond at the same level as him, “Next time, I’ll call you first, Jav. And then you can be the one to call Chucho for actual help.”

A smirk grows at your jest, and he falls back into his seat with a scoff.

“God, you are ruthless. Always with the jokes, esposa. Don’t know if I should be sticking around if it’ll be like this,” he chuckles, stretching an arm behind you and resting it on the back of your chair.

“Yeah, yeah. We both know you’re gonna be around a lot more now.” His head snaps to the side to see you looking ahead with the faintest of smiles, biting back a much wider one as you lean back into his arm.

After a processional to Pomp and Circumstance, all three of you waving madly to Liliana when she spotted you in the crowd, the ceremony proceeds with little fanfare. Speeches are made, congratulations extended to all of the students from various faculty members and the special guest speaker. When it finally came time for conferring of degrees, Javier awaits the long line of A though O names. The three of you stand, watching the handful of students ahead of Lili cross the stage.

The dean of her college stands at the microphone, saying with a rehearsed smile, “Liliana Raquel Peña, Summa Cum Laude.”

At the announcement of her name and honors, the three of you erupt in cheers for the young woman crossing the stage. Javier whistles with his fingers, holding out the sound as long as he can before clapping his hands together wildly. Once Lili is descending the stairs and back to her seat, you all wave to her again as she beams up at you and shows off her diploma folder.

The moment he’s seated again, he turns his head to the side, seeing your faint tears streaking your face. On instinct, he reaches for your hand before he can second guess it and laces your fingers together with a gentle squeeze. A pitiful laugh slips out from you when you look back at him, a blubbering smile parting your lips.

Javier leans closer to you, centimeters from your ear to confide, “I think you did an amazing job raising our girl, amor. Thank you.”

In the back room of a local restaurant, the Peña extended family mills about, filling the room with sound from the music over the speakers and everyone chatting and catching up with each other — especially congratulating the guest of honor.

Aunts and uncles and cousins that were available have all flocked together to celebrate Liliana, and despite the overwhelming urge to Irish exit this party because of the constant comments and questions about Colombia, Javier is staying until you’re ready to leave. Which undoubtedly will be until the end of your reservation.

He sits at one of the tables pushed to the side of the room, sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms and crossing his limbs over his chest as he reclines in the wooden chair. Buttons of his shirt have been undone post-photos with the grad, the air conditioning cooling his sun-baked skin. His fingers can still feel the phantom of your linen dress, his hand affixed to your lower back in all of the photos taken.

Easily, with a quick scan of the room, he finds you talking to his mamá’s sister, Tia Rose. You’re smiling brightly, the crinkles at your eyes showing off your joy as his aunt surely is congratulating you or complimenting you on how you raised your daughter.

He really meant what he said at the ceremony. There is no way he could have done what you managed if you were the one to have left for work. You were a fucking hero to him, not himself. He’s been hearing it over and over every time he returns home — “You’re a hero, Javier.”

It’s complete bullshit.

His results were rigged, the system played him as much as he supposedly played it.

When he thinks about being a hero, he doesn’t think about anything close to what he’s done. He thinks about sacrifice, compassion, strength — you have it all. You’ve saved him from himself time and time again, and you’ve done it all while being a working mom and dealing with your partner, your co-parent, being thousands of miles away for years.

“Ay, mijo, estás tu cabeza en las nubes otra vez? (Son, is your head in the clouds again?)” Javier looks up to his right at the sound of his father’s voice, standing to offer him help into the chair next to him but waved off with a grumble from Chucho.

“Is it that easy to tell, Pop?” he asks, a half-hearted smile on his face as he retakes his seat.

“Eh, to me, yes. Probably to your girls, too, but I think anyone else would think you’re doing your sulky, pendejo act.”

“Pendejo act? Don’t think it’s an act at this point, Pop. Been feeling like one more and more.”

“Sí, y por qué es eso? (Yeah, and why is that?)”

“Estoy ausente (I’m absent.)”

“Dios, Javier…” his father sighs and shakes his head, turning his head to look at his son, “You are not absent. Quit telling yourself that, or you really are going to be. You’re home now, so be home.”

“It is a blessing to have Liliana at home for this summer, spend as much time as you can with her…And you know how I feel about mi nuera (my daughter-in-law).”

Javier sighs, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees and find you in the crowd again. As if you can sense his eyes on you, you turn toward him and give him a tender smile that quells his near constant nervous energy.

God, it’s unfair how beautiful you are.

And how kind, and forgiving, too.

This conversation is making him want a cigarette. Really bad.

Instead, he pulls the plastic packet out of his pocket, popping out another chiclet of gum and tossing it in his mouth.

He prepares for a lecture from his father; Chucho seems to know a lot more about you these days than Javier. Every week since he left for Colombia, you’ve gone over to Chucho’s house for dinner at least once. With Liliana away at school, you still went. It filled Javier’s heart with a syrupy, oozing warmth whenever he thought about the relationship you have with his father. How you 're always going to be family, a daughter to him, after your parents cut you off those twenty-something years ago.

“She’s still coming over every week, y’know. Didn’t seem to be doing too great until about two weeks ago. Came over after she received a phone call. Was all excited and basically bouncing off the walls. I asked her why, and she said she got some exciting news. You know what it was?”

“Qué?”

“You coming home. I think you called to confirm your flights with her, and she was just so excited, mijo. Cooked your favorite for dinner that night—“

“Pollo asado?”

“Sí, con mole.”

“Mierda, estoy celoso. (Shit, I’m jealous.)”

Chucho laughs from his belly, shaking a bit in the seat as he reaches up and adjusts his cowboy hat.

“It was delicious, as always,” Javier hums in acknowledgement before his father continues, “But I’m not telling you all of that just to tell you what I had for dinner. I’m telling you cause I need you to get your head out of your ass and talk to her. Anyone with eyes can see how in love with her you still are. I wanted you to know that there’s something there for her, too. Hazla mi nuera de verdad. (Make her my daughter-in-law for real.)”

“I’ll talk to her, Pop. Don’t need a wingman, so please don’t say anything to her. Please.”

Chucho stands and shrugs, nonchalantly closing with, “If you don’t do it soon, I’m taking matters into my own hands and telling her myself how lovesick you are. I will not make any promise I cannot keep, so you better keep that one if you don’t want me involved, mijo.”

Javier stays put as his father filters into the party-goers, shaking his head as he smiles to himself.

Maybe he does still have a chance.

The end of the night was fairly uneventful, everyone saying their goodbyes and final congratulations to Liliana. You insisted on helping to set the room up as you had all found it, correcting the tables and chairs back to their usual positions. When you were about to start taking dishes back to the kitchen, Lili rolled her eyes and walked out to the front of the restaurant while Javi grabbed you by your hips from behind and physically directed you out of the room.

“Jav, I feel bad, we made a mess! Let me help!”

“Esposa, you are wonderful and so sweet, I’m sure they appreciate your help. But this is a restaurant, cariño, and you don’t get paid to work here so I don’t think they’re gonna want to be liable for you,” he slides his hands up and down a few inches of your sides, dragging the fabric of your dress up and letting it fall back when he takes his hands off of your sides, placing one on your back.

Javier helps you into the cab of his truck, you taking the middle of the bench and Lili following into the passenger side to be able to get out easier. He drives over to Lili’s house, dropping her off with both of you giving massive hugs and final congrats for the day.

It was a quiet car ride to the hotel, but you ended up back in the middle seat closest to Javier, leaning your head on his shoulder.

Walking into the building, he bit the inside of his cheek as he brushed your hand with his, no recoil from his touch giving him the confidence to take your hand completely in his. Fingers intertwined as you both got in the elevator, tender, unspoken words in your eyes.

Now, Javier sits at the edge of the bed, a short plastic cup in his hand filled with half a mini bottle of champagne. There’s a matching cup in your hand, standing in front of him as he looks up at you with worshiping eyes.

“Cheers, Jav. Good on us for getting our kid through college,” you say with a smile, the sound of plastic crinkling in your hands following your little toast. Each of you takes a sip of the drink, Javier leaning around you to set his down on the desk. His hands move to hover at your waist, your permission granted with a small step to stand between his opened legs.

Javier’s calloused palms catch on your dress again, inching the fabric up as his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. He looks up at you while you return the stare down at him, your free hand finding the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Thank you, amor. For taking on so much more responsibility and shouldering the weight of raising Lili Pad in her teens, and getting her into a great school, and supporting her throughout these last four years when I couldn’t—

“Jav, it was both of us.”

“No, please let me give you the credit you deserve, esposa. You did it all without ever being angry with me, and you always supported me, too. And every time I’ve come back for a visit, you make it seem like I never left with how welcome you make me feel.”

“You’re always a part of our family, Jav. Always.”

He nods, feeling his chest tighten at your words, gripping you tighter as if you’re going to slip away, as if he’ll wake up and this whole trip will have been a dream, as if he will be stuck in Colombia, or forced to go back to the DEA and work in Mexico.

“Thank you, really, thank you for always making me feel a part of it all from so far away. All the photos, all the letters, the birthday cards, and care packages…You are a great mother, and an even better woman. So much better as a person than I ever could be, and I am so lucky that you chose me to have a kid with. Lili is incredible because she’s part of you. Thank you, amor, you have given me a life I don’t think I deserve.”

His head drops, tugging you closer to rest his forehead against your stomach. Silence blankets the room, your fingers running through his hair soothingly. After a moment, you take his chin between your index and thumb, turning his head up to look at you again.

Javier wants so badly to be able to read your mind right in that second, the look in your eyes puzzling him. As he opens his mouth to say something, anything, to fill the air, you’re folding forward and catching his lips in a kiss. It’s light, too faint for his needs, and you’re pulling away much too quickly. His spine elongates, chasing your mouth before you can get too far and locking you in a breathless exchange.

His hands paw at your sides, a desperate attempt being made to pull you as close as possible while also running his hands along your curves. In the surprise of it all, getting lost in his lips, you drop the cup in your hand. Champagne splashes onto your feet, ignored as Javier lifts your mid-length dress to your hips, climbing back on the bed and pulling you over him without breaking your kiss.

Your knees cage his thighs in, settling on his lap as he slots his lips around your bottom one, tracing along it with his tongue. Parting with a gasp, your mouth opens to let him in, melding your tongues together. A whimper escapes from you when he tugs you further onto his lap, feeling his bulge in his slacks press against your core.

Javier pulls away from your lips, dragging his nose along your cheek and leaving a trail of wet, open mouth kisses along your jaw. At the spot on your neck close to your ear, he sucks a mark, smirking against your skin when your back arches and squeezes your chest against his.

“Fuck, Jav…” you sigh, fingers tangling into his hair.

He hums against your skin, pulling away and kissing under your chin.

“You’re so beautiful, amor. I missed you so fucking much. Thought about you all the time.”

“Yeah? What did you think about?” Your voice is shaky when Javi drops his hands to your hips, starting to drag them back and forth against his cock straining against his zipper.

“Mm, thought about how good you smell all the time, how sweet you taste…how much I miss having you in my bed every night. Being able to have you when I need you,” a groan slips from his mouth at your moan, moving your hips faster the more he talks, “I thought about how fucking stupid I was to leave someone like you behind. Mi vida, la luz de mi vida (My life, the light of my life)…felt like I left half of my soul when I went away.”

From above, you lean down to catch him in a passionate kiss, breathy exhales and muffled moans exchanged while your fingers work as the buttons on his shirt. Javier leans forward, shrugging off the materials before his arms are around you again, snaking around your back to grip your ass.

“Jav, I missed you so much. Never felt the same, there was always something missing…I always needed you. I always need you.”

“Mi amor, lo siento (My love, I’m sorry). I’m here now. Never leaving again.” His hands roam to your sides, finding the zipper of your dress on his left and pulling it down. He bunches the skirt of it in his hands and slowly takes it off over your head; he’s faced with you sitting in his lap, no bra and only panties on.

As if magnetic, his hands fly right back to your sides, skimming up until his thumbs lay under your breasts, fingers splayed along your rib cage.

“You’re so beautiful, mi amor, so fucking beautiful. Can I make you feel good, baby?”

“Please, Jav, need you so bad.”

“Oh, baby, mi esposa, I’ve got you. Get on your back, cariño.”

Javier watches as you move off of him and fall back onto the bed, the plush duvet sinking underneath you and pillowing out at your sides.

An angel in the clouds.

No more time is wasted as he tugs you to the edge of the bed, kneeling on the floor and booting your legs over his shoulder to open you up.

“Wait, Jav, here.” You twist to the side and stretch to reach for one of the pillows, giving it to him with a thoughtful smile.

“For your knees, viejo. Not a twenty year old athlete anymore, hon.”

Javier rolls his eyes and moves to kneel on the pillow, already feeling better in his joints from the cushion. He wraps his arms around your thighs and nips close to your panties, rolling out a groan.

“Sometimes, I hate when you’re right.”

“That’s ‘cause you always have to be right, Peña. It’s always been th—“ you trail off into a moan when his fingers prod through your wetness, one hand hooking your underwear to the side.

“I don’t always have to be right, esposa. You know you’re the boss out of the two of us,” he winks before he tugs your panties off of your legs, settling back between your legs.

You nod, sitting up and leaning your weight on one arm to look down at him.

“Mhm, glad y’know your place still, Jav,” you tease as your other hand pushes his hair away from his forehead, a smirk mirrored onto his face, “Make me come, mi esposo.”

You can see his eyes darken, breaths shallowing. Feather light kisses scatter across your inner thighs until he reaches your core, pursing his lips and blowing cool air against your wetness.

“Fuck, cariño, guess you did really miss me. So fucking wet. All for me?”

“Javi,” you whine, scooting your hips closer to him, “Please, need you.”

“I know, baby, I know. I can see how much you need me.” He licks one long stripe from your tightest hole to your clit, groaning at the taste of you. “You want me to play with your sweet pussy, mi amor? Make you feel so good?”

“Please, please, Jav.”

He soothes you with circles on your lower stomach, nodding as he lays his head on your thigh, “Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got you.”

Before you can beg out a response, his lips are attached to your clit, sucking hard before laying his tongue flat against it, moving slow circles around.

His muscle memory guides him to fall into the pattern that he memorized to get you off with his mouth and fingers, pushing one of his thick fingers inside of your cunt knuckle deep and stroking against that same spot he knows drives you wild.

Your back arches off the bed, pressing your clit into his tongue harder. He slurps up your wetness, sighing at your familiar taste that he missed so much. Another finger is added, the rhythm of their thrusts building up faster and faster. Right at the edge, your fingers tangled in his hair tugging hard, he switches positions, tongue plunging inside of you and fingers rubbing quick circles into your clit. Before you can even register, you're coming around his mouth, flooding his tongue and his lips.

“Javi, oh my god, fuck me…”

He leads you through the orgasm, pulling away with a boyish smirk.

“That’s kind of the plan, hermosa. Gonna fuck you.”

You roll your eyes, beckoning him to stand up. Sitting up fully, you strip him of his slacks and boxers, briefly taking him in your mouth before he’s pulling you off of him and pushing you further up the bed. Climbing over you, a heady kiss is shared as he settles between your legs. In the moment, you easily get him onto his back, moving to straddle him as he looks up at you breathless. Large hands hold tightly to your thighs, jaw dropping as you grab his hard cock and easily slip him inside of you, sinking down until he’s full hilt.

“Fucking Christ, amor. Take my cock so well, show me what you can do.”

Your hips find a slow, aching rhythm that makes you both breathless. As you continue to grind yourself around him, you lean forward and press yourself against his torso, skin sticking to skin.

“Jav—Javier, you are such a good man. I never doubted how much you loved me. How much you do love me,” you breathe out, hips faltering for a moment before you recover.

“You were always there for us, and I’m so proud of you for going after what you wanted. Making the world a better place…” you move your hips slowly as you ride him, leaning down to press your foreheads together, stuttering but managing to get the words out for him, “You are a great man and an even better father. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner. I love you.”

Javier whimpers and stutters out a moan when you move your hips faster, your hand on his chin keeping his forehead against you. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them, facing you and him whispering back, “Te amo, te amo, te amo. I love you so much, mi esposa. Mi amor. Te amo siempre.”

The sound that leaves you at that moment, hearing his proclamations of love, flips a switch inside of him. The primal need to make you his again, completely. His arm around your hips grips you tighter, feet planted on the mattress behind you. He uses the leverage to meet your rhythm with his own thrusts, sweet sounds slipping from your lips egging him on.

Your nails dig into his shoulders and he looks up at you in awe as you arch your back, head falling to the side as your face scrunches up in pleasure.

“Oh, fuck yes, yeah. Right there, ohmygod, papí…”

“Fuck, that’s right, baby,” he says in a drawn out exhale, hammering his hips up into you, “Say it again, mi amor. Say it again.”

“Papí—Feels so good, papí.”

“Yeah? Haven’t heard that one in a while, baby. Love it coming from you, say it again. Please, baby. Por favor.”

“Papí, papí, papí…Harder, please, want it harder.”

“Anything for you, mi amor. I’ll give you anything you want. Fuck this pussy however you want it, whenever you want me.”

One of your hands drops from his shoulder to the mattress, bracing yourself from his unrelenting pace. You’re a whining mess, opening your eyes and looking down at him under you, sweaty and glistening with his wild hair and mustache shiny from your come. Javier rumbles a loud moan of your name, on the verge of a growl when he feels you clench around his cock.

“Come for me, mi esposa. Let me feel you…” he pulls you flush against him as he fucks up into you, lips brushing your ear as he whispers, “Te amo, mi esposa, te amo. I love you. Love you so much.”

“Pa—Papí, fuck! Oh my god, Javi!” Your head rolls back as you come around him, bounces faltering as you slip against his chest like jelly.

“Fuck, baby, gonna fill you up. You want me inside you all night, mi amor? Want me to make you full of me again?” His lips brush against your ear, whimper and nod in response.

“Yes, yes please, papí. Want you inside.”

“Fuck yes, mi amor. One more time for me, say it one more time.”

“Come inside me…please come for me, papí.”

A moan stutters in his throat as he buries himself fully in you, twitching with each rope he spends. Grip tightening around you, he stays inside of you as he kisses you deeply, pulling away to brush your hair away from your face.

“You have no idea how long I have been wanting to do that again, mi esposa. Te amo, hermosa. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jav. Missed you,” your head lays on his chest, sigh warming his sweaty skin, “Will you be around when we’re home or—“

“Mi amor, you’re gonna have a hard time keeping me away from you and Lili now. I wanna spend every moment I can with you both. My girls.”

It’s a Sunday evening at the Peña ranch, a few weeks after Lili’s graduation. You and her have come over to Chucho’s house for dinner, Javier already there from working the day with his father. He’s mostly over at yours in the evenings, coming over to spend time with Lili, and you, staying for dinner, having movie nights, grilling out. He’s been basking in the slow life, the life of a father that he’s been so desperately craving. It’s been an itch like he has for a cigarette, finally taking an inhale and his nerves melting away as he adjusted to a balance with you two.

Tonight, however, Chucho insisted that you and he keep your weekly get-togethers, despite Javi being home for good now, and the four of you have had dinner around the cozy dining table off of the kitchen. Javier is gathering the dinner plates, Liliana standing to help him clean up.

“Anyone want any dessert? What d’ya have here, Pop?” he looks between his father and you, awaiting an answer.

Before Chucho can say anything, you sit up with a quiet gasp, “Oh, do you have any mangoes, Chuch? I really would love some mango with Tajín. Or some strawberries with honey. Or both.”

You grin up at Javier and he laughs, nodding his head.

“I’ll see what I can do, amor.”

“Y’know, mija, my Lucia always had mangoes around the house when she was pregnant with Javi. She would slice them up and put so much Chamoy and Tajín, you could barely see that it was a mango underneath it all.”

“That honestly sounds perfect right now, I bet Lucia made some kickass mangonadas, too,” you laugh softly, looking up behind you as Javi squeezes your shoulder lovingly.

“Oh, she definitely did. Whole family begged her to make them every time we all got together,” Chucho belly laughs fondly at the memories, nodding to himself, “We thought for the longest time that we were going to have a girl. All Lucia craved were sweets or fruits, and there’s some old wives tale, una fábula, that if your cravings are sweet, it is a girl, and if they’re savory, it’s a boy.”

“Huh, how funny. Guess thinking back, I did crave a lot of chocolate ice cream with Lili.”

“Oh god, I remember being kicked in the middle of the night and having to go to the town over cause they had a 24-hour gas station just to get you some Ben & Jerry’s,” Javier laughs, kissing the top of your head as you shrug.

“And now look, you’ve got the sweetest daughter to ever exist. All thanks to me,” you grin, sending Javi a wink as he finishes gathering the dishes from the table.

He sees his father smiling to himself as Chucho leans back in his chair, Javier retreating to the kitchen to find something for dessert for you while Lili washes up and the two of you at the table strike up some conversation.

Later that week, you gave Javi a call and asked him to come over after he was done on the ranch. He agreed immediately, of course, and couldn’t fight the buzzing excitement he felt to see you again. It took him back to those days before Lili, before the two of you were ever really anything, you calling and asking him over to your dorm room or your apartment. He felt like a giddy teenager again.

He showered quickly and changed before heading over to yours, parking in the driveway of your small three bed house he had bought for you all. At the door, he knocked before using his key to get inside, calling out to you.

“Amor? Lili Pad? Anybody home?”

The pad of footsteps on the tile floors catch his attention, a smile stretching across his face as you come around the corner into the entryway. He kicks off his boots before meeting you in the middle, arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly to his chest. He sighs an exhale, relaxing around your warmth.

“Long day, Jav?”

“You have no idea, mi amor. Had to chase a fucking bull that got loose in the pastures when we were trying to corral all of ‘em. My ass is hurting from having to ride the horse so much.”

You laugh into his chest, pressing a kiss to his shirt before leaning back to look at his face, “Oh your poor butt. You wanna sit on the couch then?”

He hums in confirmation, kissing the top of your head before you lead him into the living room and let him flop down on the sofa.

“Where’s Lili Pad?”

“Oh, um, she’s out with friends tonight. Thought it could be just us…” You join him, sitting with a couple of feet between you two. He can see how tense you are, sitting up straight, fiddling with your fingers, placing a pillow in your lap. Extending an arm out, he holds his hand palm up for you to take.

“I’m more than okay with just us, cariño. What’s going on with you? You seem anxious. Everything at work okay? Everything okay with Lili?” He rubs his thumb across your knuckles after you take his hand, brows knitting with concern.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is great with Lili. And work is, well, work. No complaints…” your eyes stay trained on your hands together, swallowing before you speak up again, “I actually think it would be easier to show you.”

He feels even more concerned and confused as you stand up, disappearing out of the room for a moment before coming back with a hand behind your back. You don’t sit again, opting to stand in front of him; you bring your hand forward, passing the object to him.

It takes him a minute to register what it is, the last time he saw one this up close being about twenty something years ago.

A pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test.

Positive.

“Think we could do as good a second time around?”

You’re pregnant.

He’s going to be a dad again?

He’s going to be a dad again, with you?

He’s going to be a dad again. He gets to have another child with you.

His heart is beating out of his chest, mouth dropped open with no words coming out.

A shake of his head knocks him out of the shock, setting the test to the side and looking up at you with welling eyes.

“I get to be a papá again? With you, mi amor?”

A beaming smile widens on your face, your hands finding the sides of his head as you nod down at him.

“Yeah, honey, you’re going to be a dad, again. Lili’s gonna have a little brother or sister. Much, much younger,” you say with a chuckle.

Javier laughs a little breathless, eyes flickering between your face and your stomach that is eye level with him.

“Oh my god, oh my god, mi amor—Te amo, te amo siempre,” His hand finds her tummy, roaming around in circles, attempting to feel the familiar bump or any side of his baby growing inside there. Soft kisses litter your torso as he pulls you closer, resting his forehead against your ribs.

“I love you too, Jav,” you push back his hair and he stares up at you in wonder, pulling you gently to sit in his lap, “Do you…I mean, I want you to come home. Maybe we can actually get married this time. Have the family life with Lili and the little baby. I know we used to just joke about our fake city hall marriage, but I’ve always wanted that with you, Jav.”

A soft, tender kiss is shared, the two of you holding onto each other. One of Javier’s hands rests on your stomach, his heart already completely overflowing with love for the person growing inside of you. It’s quiet for a moment, both of you sitting with each other in silence. With another kiss, Javi hugs you, your head resting on his shoulder as he whispers in your ear.

“Graciás, mi amor. Thank you — for never giving up on our family. On me. Thank you for giving me everything I could have ever dreamed of. I can’t wait to have another baby with you, they’re gonna be as perfect as you, and Lili. My girls. Te amo, mi esposa, te amo siempre.”

javi's photo board in colombia <3

tagging mutuals that might be interested??

@northernbluess @swiftispunk @johnwatsn @cannolighost @joelsversion @cupofjoel @darkroastjoel @atinylittlepain @beskarandblasters @wannab-urs @jksprincess10 @bearsbeetsbeskar @smokeinherperfume @thetriumphantpanda @atticrissfinch @perotovar @mrsquill @javiscigarette @yazsos @deathwife @pr0ximamidnight @undrthelights @lunapascal @ladamedusoif @haylzcyon

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squerlly · 2 months

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flames of desire chapter 7: setting it off

Alastor x (f! bunny reader) -NSFW-TW: mentions of rape

your POV:

"cmon relax I can make you enjoy my company in more ways then one~" with the snap of his finger the girls that were once at his side were gone, and it was me, him, and the background noise of the club "so what is a cutie like you doing here alone" "I-I was with angel..." "angel is here? well ill deal with that later, for now~" snaking one of hands on my thighs he inches closer under my dress, using his other hand to take a puff of his pipe, he blows the pink smoke in my face, drool dripping on the corners of his mouth "how about we have some fun yes~?" "wait-" my words are trailed off as I start to feel dizzy, I feel light like I could be blown away by the slightest breath, my body begins to feel hot, really hot "w-what did you do to me...." "oh nothing you wont enjoy" being laid down on the seat my head spins and his hands lift my dress "no- stop!" "don't fight it I know you want to~" no I'm not going to let this happed, come on y/n snap out of it!!, grabbing his hands I push him off "No I wont" frustrated he yanks me forward pinning me, my chest pressed against the seat "damn you stubborn bitch!" "NO get off of me!!!" after a while of struggling somebody pulls me up, everything went silent, no people just music. opening my eyes there's a hand around my waist, looking up its Alastor?! what the hell is he doing here!!

Alastors POV:

when my shadow informed me that valentino was at the club and with her I rushed there, were the fuck was angel, why isn't he with her!!! barging in the club everybody moves out of my way as I storm past the crowd seeing valentino on her. I rush to grab her up pulling her dress back down "valentino, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this short" "alastor, what are you doing here!" valentino said through gritted teeth, I tried my best not rip all four of his arms off right then and now, maybe later...."I'm afraid your messing with something that's mine" "uh huh ho does this little conejita have a contract with you" "no but that doesn't give you permission to touch her without permission!" "if she doesn't belong to you, then she free game~" "you wont dare if you value your life!" by now my patients is running thin "I'm taking her and if you ever lay a finger on her you will never see that finger again!!" picking her up I walk of with her in my arms, the poor thing was shaking and she smells of alcohol, surly drunk "this isn't over Alastor I will get her eventually!!!!" ignoring Valentinos yelling I head out of the club, outside was a very panicked angel.

your POV:

I have a terrible headache, I'm cold and I cant think straight what the fuck is happening, being carried I look up at Alastor he looked pissed, angry, the static radiating off of him was loud but he was gentle, like he was holding a piece of glass. angel ran over "Y/N!! there you are, iv been looking every wear for ya!! what happened" as angel reached out to touch me Alastor pulled back "angel you said valentino wasn't supposed to be there" "he wasn't h-he was supposed to be filming with the others back at-" "well he wasn't, and because of your carelessness valentino got his hands on y/n" angel turning his attention to me "he didn't hurt ya did he, y/n are you alright!?" "no angel I'm-" "he almost did, I'm taking her back, this will never happen again"

back at the hotel we walked through he doors, Charlie and vaggie waiting for us "Y/N!!! oh my Satan are you ok, we saw Al running out of the doors in a hurry" how did he know I was in trouble..."I'm alright Charlie I promise" "what happened!" "unfortunately valentino was at the club and angel lacking in supervision lost her, letting valentino take his chance" "Voy a matarlo! (im gonna fucking kill him)" "I got there just in time" "thankfully she's ok, you guys are ok..." "I'm gonna...I'm gonna go change"

walking out of the lobby Alastor follows close behind me "what are you doing.." "making sure you get back to your room" "why" "do I need a reason?" "no but can you explain how the hell you knew I was in trouble!" he pauses for a moment stopping in the hallways by my door "I was watching you.." "why are you stalking me" "because angel is carless and I was just being cautious!" "ok but you didn't have to be so mean to angel he was just-" "just what!?, explain to me my dear what do you think would have happened if I wasn't watching you, angel couldn't saved you because he was to busy fooling around" "why do you care!" "what do you mean why do I care" "the radio demon a mercy less overlord who was known for his broadcasted carnage over hell, heartless, and terrifying so why... why are you so concerned for me, I mean nothing to you, you follow me around give me weird looks, vaggie told me about you, told me to stay away..." "I don't know, I don't understand why..." looking up his smile is almost none existent, his eyes are dark as he look at me, the radio static in his voice was gone, just his plane old voice "I though my interest was just playful amusement, to toy around a bit, but the more I know about you, your smile your laugh that dress, it irks me, this feeling... I-I don't know what you did!" "Alastor-" "I would kill a demon for even looking at you funny!, I never cared about some lowly sinner...but I care about you, you have me rapped around your little finger and you don't even know it" all this time I though he wanted to kill me, even eat me or something but I never realized "Alastor.." I huff out a small laugh "what's so funny..." "I didn't put a spell on you, or curse you, or anything" grabbing his hand "this is all you and its completely normal" bringing my hand up to cup his cheek he leans in to the touch "don't look at me like that, you did something and I know it.." he mutters as I lean in closer, hunching over he leans in breaking the distance into a soft kiss pulling me closer. once I pulled away, looking at him I smile "I don't think I will ever understand this feeling but...I will try my best to show you how I feel" bringing my hand to his lips he places a soft kiss "goodnight my dear and get some much needed rest~" "goodnight Alastor"

I hope you enjoyed and I love you guys so much for the love and support have a wonderful day/night!!!

-squerlly

@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz

for more content or chapter please click this masterlist

#hazbin #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x y/n

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avonne-writes · 7 days

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Angel AU drabble

A lot of people asked about this AU, so here's a little drabble to hold you over until I can start writing this story 😇 Read the premise here

Invisible to the human eye, Gale follows his ward everywhere he goes. After a few years of careful guidance, humans tend to become more independent, and then he has time to pick up a second or even a third case, but John is a rescue. He’s going to need all of Gale's attention for a much longer time if his soul is to be saved. It’s exciting to be challenged with such a difficult ward. Neglected by an incompetent guardian - who's now demoted to administrator - he went down the path towards Hell. Gale's priority is to guide him back. His second, more personal goal is to make him happy too. They’ll have to see how John manages, but Gale will do his best.

Currently, they're on a dirty bus that coughs a trail of smoke as it chugs on towards the most dangerous neighbourhoods of the city. Gale tried to discourage John from boarding the repulsive vehicle, but his suggestion was ignored. It’s only their first day though - Gale just has to find the right technique to get through the wounded exterior of his soul. For now, he just settles down beside John and radiates an aura that keeps people from sitting next to him. He can tell that a stranger's closeness would distress John.

There are earbuds in John's ears. Gale examines them curiously, leaning in real close to see the emotions flickering through John's mind as he listens to the music. Human music has always fascinated Gale. He used to wonder if humans were trying to find the tunes of Heaven, but he knows that's not the case ever since he discovered rap music. He wants to learn John's musical taste. It could come in handy if Gale wants to influence his mood in the future.

The bus rolls to a stop, and John moves to get off. Again, Gale tries to hold him back. This isn’t a good place - he can already see the stains of malice peeling off the walls of a house by the bus stop, like a black, rotten layer of skin. He knocks a woman's suitcase over and makes a backpacker move to block John's way, but John is determined. He shoulders his way out of there and gets off the bus.

Outside, the night greets him with a chill and cruel blows of the wind. John's bruised face hurts as he squints against it. As he takes off towards an alleyway, Gale makes that wind stronger, even though his own nose wrinkles at the smell of depravity it blows out from the direction they're headed.

"Why don’t you go back home? You could take a hot shower there." He tells John gently. If he talks to John from the ethereal plane, his words form suggestions in John's mind, ideas that he thinks are his own. It's the easiest tool to use. Humans usually go along with what they call their sixth sense. And indeed, John stops. But a moment later, he squares his shoulders and resumes his steps.

Gale frowns. He has to step up his game.

They enter an establishment that Gale identifies as a nightclub. A shady one. Spilled drinks sticky on the floor, cigarette smoke, knives tucked into pockets, unprotected sex in the putrid bathroom. Gale can hear, see and smell it all as he traces John's steps, but his senses also reach beyond that. The place is swarming with demons and malicious spirits. Their waste litters the ethereal plane and clings to Gale's feet until he blasts it off in disgust.

His feathers ruffle. Behind him, his wings move from their relaxed position to a casual back-shield. He doubts that the slimy creatures cowering from him in the corners would attack him, but it never hurts to be cautious. As it is, the sea of demons threaded through the dancing human crowd parts for him, hissing at his light. His lower ranking siblings, those few who had the strength to brave this place, all seem to breathe a sigh of relief when he nods at them in greeting.

"Sir." They say as he passes.

"Keep up the good work." He replies calmly.

John doesn’t stop on the dance floor, so he doesn’t linger either, no matter how much fun it is to see the cowardly demons skitter, scared that he might smite them. He follows John to the back of the club, then out into the alley behind it.

There, they wait. It’s raining. Water soaks through John's hoodie. The residue of malevolent beings falls from the sky with every raindrop. Soon enough, Gale’s brushing its black soot off his wings. His iridescent white feathers contrast harshly with it.

"You don’t want to do this." He tells John. "Come on, why don't we get out of here?"

As if in reply, John mutters to himself. "The fuck am I doing here."

Gale smiles. "You don’t belong here."

He can feel the ideas battling in John's head, and he tastes the sweet scent of a step in the right direction, but suddenly, in a sharp twist, John's thoughts plummet into despair. Unpleasant memories swirl in his mind. "Right where I belong."

Gale's wings twitch. This won't be easy. They have a long road ahead of them, don't they?

#mota #buck x bucky #clegan #gale cleven #john egan #fallen angel au #my writing

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mrprettywhenhecries · 8 months

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Interesting things I've learned about Billy and Max from reading the Runaway Max novel

Thought these would be worth sharing for those who haven't read the book, but like me, crave more Max & Billy backstory/lore.

Billy antis DNI

putting under a cut for spoilers

Billy's dad was a security guard at the bank where Susan Mayfield worked as a teller in San Diego, and that's how they met.

Max's mom has not so great taste in men, so compared to the other losers she dated, Neil seemed way better in comparison, at least at first.

Neil thinks Reagan is "the best thing to happen to America since Eisenhower". Figures.

The first time Max met Billy she thought he was super cool because he had an earring.

Max really hoped Billy would be a good brother to her 😢

Billy's car smells like hairspray and cigarettes. That tracks lol

Max's dad sounds super cool, but I can understand why Susan divorced him. He was into some kinda shady shit.

Billy's never been in a serious relationship. He dated a different girl every week, but seemed pretty disdainful of them all. -- "It was like he hated them, except he still took them up to the Sunset Cliffs to make out." Though honestly, it seems like Billy's just disdainful of everyone.

Once Billy got in trouble with the cops for trespassing at a construction site with his friends and Neil gave him the choice of losing his car for two months or signing up for junior ROTC and Billy willingly gave up his car.

Like Tommy, the main reason Billy hung out with his "friends" in California was because they basically just did whatever he said.

After Tina's Halloween party, Neil went off on Billy when he got home for not picking up Max after trick or treating (plus coming back drunk/high). Max left the room, but could still hear Neil hitting Billy. She tries not to care, but she still does. 🥲

Billy canonically works on his own car 🥵

Once Billy Max a cigarette after she told him smoking was bad for him. Susan caught them and went off on Billy, though he thought it was funny. However when Neil got home, asking what was going on, Susan lied, telling him it was nothing. Max had expected her to rat Billy out, but she didn’t. It was then than she realized that her mom wasn’t afraid of Billy, that she was afraid for him.

The first time Max had seen Neil actually hit Billy was after he’d gotten a speeding ticket. Her mom left the room and Max half expected Neil to stop when he realized that Max was still there, but when he took off his belt to use it, Max yelled at him to stop.

Neil only used her outburst to taunt Billy, saying he was weak and needed a girl to stand up for him.

After it was over, Max asked if Billy was okay, but he turned on her, embarrassed that she’d seen, and told her to get away from him. That’s when Max’s illusion that the two of them were in this together was broken.

When Billy said “You know what happens when I get angry. I break things.” is a reference to him breaking Max’s friend Nate’s arm because Nate had stood up for Max.

Billy had said it was an accident, that he’d been showing the boy a wrestling move that went awry, and the adults believed him.

Afterwards, Max's friends avoided her.

When their parents decided to move to Hawkins, they gave a lot of excuses for why—a new start, to get Billy away from his bad friends, to give Max more room to run around and be active—but it was really because Billy was acting out so much and they didn’t know how else to control him.

When Neil and Susan told Max and Billy they were moving to Hawkins bc the bank gave Neil a transfer, Billy cornered Max later in the laundry room and grabbed her by the arm. He blamed her for the move, thinking she’d told them the real reason behind her friend’s broken arm. She denied it, but Billy didn’t believe her.

The day that Billy saw Max with Lucas at the arcade he backs over her skateboard with his car ‘on accident’ but she knows it was his punishment.

Neil tells them that Billy will have to drive her around from now on, though he’d basically been doing so already.

Max decides to try to run away to her dad again, this time from Indiana, but she needed a lot more money for a bus ticket. She asked her mom for some money to go clothes shopping and her mom believed her. However, after Lucas showed up at the house asking her to come with him, she decides to stay in Hawkins.

Overall, it was a good read, a little hard to read at times during the abuse scenes, but I appreciated the back story and the insight into the characters. I was kinda hoping however that there'd be more info about what happened after Max knocked Billy out with the tranquilizer.

#billy hargrove #max mayfield #billy antis dni #joz.txt #runaway max #abuse tw

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iluvmegantheestallion · 6 months

Text

Cigarettes

(This story is inspired by another writer @scaredofbrits)

Summary: You've been a good girl all your life. Never party, did drugs, have sex, drink alcohol, or smoke until now. You tried smoking until your boss caught you, but instead of firing you, he joined you and taught you how to smoke.

Living in this small town has it perks. Y/n did not like staying here since her parents decided to move here, but you didn't complain. You worked at Freddy fazebear's pizzeria. You do enjoy working, fixing the busted games, and smelling the greasy pizza. Y/n only worked here to save up some money so she can leave this town and enjoy her life. Y/n is best friends with Michael.

Y/n first met Michael in school. He was a popular kid, and you'd see him in your math and science class. He's been suspended a lot. You first got a chance to talk to him when you first became a tutor for him since he was failing his classes. You helped with work, and he started to actually understand, and his grades went up, and that's when you guys became best friends.

You were walking with Michael, and he couldn't be more thankful for you helping him with his homework. "Thanks y/n for helping me, I couldn't do this without you, seriously." Michael looked at y/n sincerely as he smiled at her. "No problem, anything for a friend." Y/n smiles back at him. Y/n saw Michael reached inside his Jean pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He took one cigarette, and he looked back at you. "You want one?" Michael asked. Your goody two shoes mind would clearly say 'no', but you somehow wanted to say yes. "Uhhm, no, thank you." Y/n said, passing on the offer. "Suit yourself." Michael shrugged, nonchalantly placing the cigarette between his lips as he took out his lighter lighting the end of the cigarette.

Y/n stared at intriguingly as he huffed the smoke out. Y/n seen her mom smoked in the house whenever she was stressed about something. "You're missing out, y/n. This shit is relaxing." Michael smirked at y/n as he continued smoking. "Uhhm, trust me, I'm fine." Y/n said back as they continued walking.

Y/n looked down at her watch, and she was late, and she had to go back to work. "Oh shoot, I have to go, I'll see you later, Michael." Y/n says as she hugged him goodbye as she walked away.

Y/n urgently rushed inside the pizzeria. "You're late, y/n." One of her colleagues said to her. "I know I lost track of time -" "Chill out, y/n I was just kidding, I don't think they care. You've been employed of the month, I don't think they give a fuck if you're since your Mr. Afton's favorite." Y/n's coworker said to her they cleaned the messy tables.

"Why do you think I'm his favorite?" Y/n asked curiosity getting the best of her.

"Well, you listen to the rules. You're a workaholic. You fixed the games, and he's never rude to you like he is with the rest of us." Y/n's coworker said to y/n blandly, not focusing on her.

Y/n never knew she was Mr. afton's favorite. He does seem a bit less intense when he was around y/n. He pays her very fairly, and he congratulates y/n whenever she does a good job at fixing the games for the kids, works overtime, and covers other people's shifts.

"I know this may sound crazy but do you have a pack of cigarettes and a lighter?" Y/n as her coworker looks back at y/n surprised with a little smirk on her face.

" Is Miss Goody two shoes asking to smoke?" Y/n's coworker jokes as she rolls her eyes. "Look, I know I'm uptight and never do what teenagers do, but I wanna see what it's like." Y/n answers back. "Ok, fine, but on one condition." Y/n's coworker says smirking, knowing they want something. "You have to cover my shift while I'm gone, I'm going to a party and I don't wanna stay here." Y/n's coworker explains. "Deal." Y/n says as they shake hands with each other. The coworker looks around as they hand y/n the lighter and pack of cigarettes. "Knock yourself out, princess." Y/n's coworker says as they give y/n the rag and walks out of Freddy's.

Y/n has been cleaning, fixing the game, and making sure the kids don't get too close to the animatronics. Y/n checks her watch and decides to take a little break. Y/n went to a secluded room, Michael told her that this was his favorite place to smoke in. "Cmon y/n you can do this, stop being a chicken." Y/n told herself. Y/n pulls out the pack of cigarettes as she puts them between her lips. Y/n started to think about how Michael smoked. Y/n pulls out the lighter and closely puts it at the end of the cigarette, but she is interrupted.

Y/n was startled as the door flinged open as she knew who it was. Mr. Afton. Y/n urgently places the lighter in her pocket and the cigarette in her hand and hides it behind her back.

"I've never knew you were a smoker y/n? You don't seem like a girl to do that?" William says camly making y/n a bit nervous.

"I wasn't smoking?" Y/n lies as William chuckles.

"Oh love, I'm not blind I saw you." William smirks, coming his way over to y/n.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Afton, please don't fire me. I just wanted to try. And how it feels like -" y/n was rambling as her heart started racing but William cuts her off.

"Nonsene darling, I just came here for a smoke break myself. It gets tiring running this establishment." William told y/n as he comes closer to her.

"I see you wanted to learn how to smoke, I can teach you if you like." William smiles. Y/n felt a bit weird about this situation since her boss was teaching her how to smoke, but she was Willing to learn.

"Don't be afraid, darling. I don't bite." His whispered as he smirked. Y/n nodded her head as William smiles at her.

Y/n places the cigarette between her lips as William lights it. "Take your time, darling. Inhale and let it out." William explains as y/n follows his exact words.

Y/n inhales the smoke as she lets it out all out. Y/n coughed a little bit, but it was actually quite fun. "There you go, darling. Now you're getting a hand of it." William congratulates. "This quite relaxing, actually." Y/n smiles as she continues smoking.

William pulls out a pack of his own cigarettes and puts in between his lips. "May I borrow your lighter, darling." William asks his soft British accent, rolling off his tongue so perfectly. You give him the lighter as he lights his cigarette as he inhales the smoke and lets it out.

"Come closer y/n, I want to show you something cool, sweetheart." William says as he smokes but holds it in his mouth.

Y/n comes closer to William as they look like they were gonna kiss. Making y/n have butterflies in her stomach. The two of you connected your lips together, and the smoke went into your mouth as you both didn't take your eyes off of each other. William chuckles as he inhales and blew it out. You both started smiling, which turned to laughter.

"This was really fun, but I have to get back to work, darling." William says making y/n frown, but William notices.

"Don't be sad, darling. we can still do this again." William holds your face into his hands. Y/n smiles as he looks at William.

"This will be our little secret." William says as he kisses the tip of your nose as he smirks at your flushed face. William walks towards the door, winking at you, leaving you alone in your room.

Y/n smiles to herself as she continues smoking, and she smells the strong and toxic smell that fills the dim light room. I guess y/n isn't goody two shoes after all.

#William afton #William afton x reader #fnaf #William afton x fem!reader #Spotify #Michael afton

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petalsofyouth · 1 year

Text

properly together | ran haitani x reader

tw: friends with benefits, implied cheating, implied underage illegal activities (lol), unestablished relationship (obviously) aaand that's it i think | if i missed something and it's worth mentioning here please do tell me.

wc: 6818

The windowsill in the boys’ bedroom of Haitani’s apartment is wide enough to fit three people and for that you are very grateful.

The room is dark. The only light here is the streetlamp and that of the lit cigarette. Ran’s “Hero” smells bitter and they taste even worse. You wish he had bought menthol “Seven Stars”, but he said there were none of those in the vending machine and he was too tired to go somewhere else. You pout and he laughs, but you know that it’s the thought that matters and so you smoke “Hero”. The three of you share it together.

It’s not really the smoking that you like. Quite the opposite. It’s the atmosphere that covers the entire world when Ran fishes out a pack out of his sweats, jeans or a cupboard. It’s the way he is the first one to light it and then he always gives it to Rindou - ladies first rule doesn’t work here - and only then it’s yours. Usually it already has a sweet taste to it. Of energy drink and something else that you can’t quite tell. You don’t mind it. And they don’t mind a stain of lipstick or gloss on it.

You think, it only adds to experience.

One after one, you smoke the whole pack. It’s a long night and neither of you wants to go to bed just yet. Ran had a bad day. He didn’t tell you that, but his body is tense as he lays between your legs, his back on your chest, and you can see how Rindou eyes him every now and then. Maybe something went shitty on the streets. It always does. Or maybe he had an argument with his mother again. They always have something to quarrel about. His way of living or her morals.

You don’t pry though as prying never works with Ran. It only gets him angry.

“Do you think we’ll miss this time when we get older?” It’s Rindou. The dawn won’t come if he hasn’t asked or said something pretentiously deep. Despite the teasing and snorting he gets from you and Ran, you genuinely love his questions. They make you think. “I mean. We won’t be sixteen. Like ever again. And I can’t imagine us sitting here in our thirties. Sharing a whole pack of cigarettes. That’s what teenagers do.”

Ran’s lips quiver and not from crying. With half-closed sleepy eyes he looks at his younger brother as if he is the dumbest person alive. You can’t see Ran’s face, but by the immediately offended look on Rindou’s, you can imagine it well.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Rindou mutters, snatching a last cigarette out of Ran’s fingers. He gives it away easily. He laughs.

“You are dumb. Why wouldn’t we be able to sit on the fucking windowsill and smoke some dumb cigarettes? Who’s gonna tell us no? They tell us no now and we are still doing it. So I don’t see why you are being sappy.” Ran raises his head that lays on your shoulder and tilts it to the side so he can see your face. “What do you think?”

The words are dead on your tongue. You don’t really know what to say or better how to phrase what you want to say. Everything seems not quite right. You blame the time and the fog of cigarettes that is overflowing your brain. You shouldn't smoke that much.

The expectant look on Rindou’s face is what gets you talking and taking his side. If Ran is your best friend, Rindou is your soulmate. You love him a little more. “I do get you. It’s like we can’t ever get back to this. We might do whatever we want later, but this is not going to happen ever again. I think it’s sad too. I’ll miss these times.”

“You are silly. When we get older I’ll be hella rich. I’ll buy us a penthouse and we’ll smoke the whole day by the open window if we want.” Ran’s hand reaches out for the cigarette and Rindou obediently gives it to him. Before he brings it to his mouth and finishes it off, he lets you take the last drag for this night. “I bet we also will smoke something better than this crap.”

“There’s no windows in penthouses, dumbass. You can’t open them.”

They bicker for some time and you tune out of it, appreciating the raw beauty of the moment instead. It’s summer and you don’t have school tomorrow and Ran promised he will take you to the party this weekend with him. And Rindou promised you will go to Kujukurihama beach to swim and sunbathe and if some of your female friends come too or covers for you, you can even stay overnight there. [You believe it’s stupid of your parents to tolerate your sleepovers at Haitani’s all the time, or rather they know you are here, but you tell them you aren’t and they are forced to believe you and you are also living on the same street which is another factor for them worrying much less. Still, you think it’s stupid. Not that you can do anything about it, either way.] And this summer is full of promises that are so basic for the people your age, it finally feels normal.

Because before that was juvie and you were waiting for your best friends to get released. And after that was a lot of gangs and street fights and Ran dropping out of school with Rindou following him and them - but mostly Ran - trying to sustain the remains of their family. Their mom, a drinking shadow of what she once was. Their father, long forgotten. We are just kids, you think, and there’s a possibility they won’t even make it to their mid-twenties. What about the penthouse and windowsill and sharing a pack of cigarettes? What about it then?

“What’s wrong?” Ran’s face is millimetres from yours. His body is a dead weight on you, pinning you down. You shove him in the shoulder as a signal to get off you, but he doesn’t get the memo. He presses his lips to your forehead. “I think you need to go to bed. You are tired.”

Behind Ran’s back you can hear rustling of clothes and a small masked yawn which sounds more like a knowing sigh. Rindou’s feet spank the wooden floor and he winces. His legs are probably numb from sitting in a crumpled position for so long. He kisses your cheek goodnight. “Where are you sleeping today?”

“Auntie said I can take the couch.”

“Nah. Stay here. I’ll sleep there. You and Ran won’t wake up before noon anyways.”

You want to stop him and say that he shouldn’t and that you all know you won’t really sleep in Rindou’s bed, but in Ran’s, because that’s what you’ve been doing for the last year and a little before that too. You want to catch Rindou’s wrist and stop him and tell him that you have no idea how it happened and why. That it has no meaning. That it’s just you and Ran comforting each other in a way no one ever can comfort either of you. Not even him. Their brother and a best friend. The soulmate.

And so you let him go and he slips out of the room, winking at you before he closes the door. You think that he might do it for himself too, because it’s awkward listening to your and Ran’s whimpers, grunts, small giggles and moonlight promises that mean nothing in the light of the day. You think that’s the main reason. There’s no way Rindou doesn’t know.

It’s silent for a while. Ran’s laying on his side, his head on your chest and arms around your waist. You are afraid he’s fallen asleep. If he is there’ll be no way you could wake him up and be doomed to sleep on the windowsill with his weight stealing your every other breath away.

There’s only one way to know.

Gently you brush the long hair away from his face. You tuck them around his ear. A blonde strand, his natural hair colour that you love so much, gets caught in his earring. It’s a new one. The one he bought because the stripe on it was a purple colour. No way he wouldn’t have an earring that matches his eyes. “So. Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He asks, opening his eyes. He grimaces when you tug on his hair a bit.

“Should I take it off?” You are referring to the earring and when he nods a ‘yes’ you quickly work out the lock. It’s harder than you thought so it takes you a while. He patiently waits for you to be done.

When you don't speak he chuckles and you feel his smile on your skin, through the old worn out T-shirt you are wearing. “Was it your way to change the topic?”

“Not really. No.” You shrug, finally done with his earring. You take it in your palm, caging it inside, so it won’t fall. “I mean I was thinking about what Rindou said and then I think I got overwhelmed. That’s it. Do you want to tell me what was bothering you? Another gang issue I won’t understand?” There’s much more to that simple “overwhelmed’. He’s well aware of that, but he also knows that you aren’t explaining it further for his sake.

Because you don’t want to guilt trip him.

Because you don’t believe he is to blame for anything that happened and will most definitely happen again.

Because you don’t see him the way most people see him.

Because you care.

Because you love him in whatever way it is that you do. He’ll accept it.

He accepts it then and reaches out to kiss you on this little spot under your jaw.

“Not because you won’t understand, but because I don’t want you to think about it. Don’t want you to worry about me and Rin. We’ll be fine.” At this moment you are the same. You smile at him and hook your hands under his arms, bringing him closer to you, hugging him. Kissing his soft hair. “Get in bed. Let’s fall asleep while it’s still dark.”

That night you don’t do anything besides sharing lazy sloppy kisses where he says i swear it’s the last one and then it never is and he steals another one and another one and another one. You giggle into his mouth and he smiles and you never want this to end, because you after all understand Rindou.

You’ll never be sixteen again. ***

The first time it happens Rindou is not around. He’s out on his very first serious date. He didn't tell you it was serious, but he asked for Ran’s black turtleneck, polished his motorcycle and before hopping on it checked his wallet to make sure he got enough money. He told you not to wait for him and Ran shrugged saying you guys weren't going to. He was too quick to speak though because you were ecstatic to learn how it all went and what they did. In all your fifteen years you’ve never been on a date once.

The evening was supposed to be spent quietly. You threw a small dinner from whatever leftovers they had in their fridge. Ran was talking the whole time. He was in those rare moods of his where he would tell you about what the gang were up to.

Nor he nor Rindou would particularly go into details with you around. Yes, you knew some of their friends. Yes, you sometimes hang out with them. But that’s it. You knew almost nothing about their activities. And all you knew were not coming from their mouths.

It was when you munched on oyakodon with his strangely sober mother that got home from another date just in time for food, the doorbell rang. You couldn’t see who it was and Ran didn’t let the person come in. He sprinted upstairs, came back dressed in his gang uniform and ignored his mother telling you to wait for him to come back. He promised not to be long.

And just like that he was gone.

You looked at his bowl with food. It was half-empty. Your heart sank. As if it would make him return you stared at the door, but it wouldn’t be opened until well into the night. You of course couldn’t know that.

“Do you think I can have it?” His mother, sometimes a stranger in her own house, brought the bowl closer to her, inspecting it. “Oh. That boy. He ate all the chicken. He was always like that. Eating what he liked first. You know, I…”

Her words fell dead on your ears. You didn’t listen to her, but that small, not remarkable in any way fact, that he ate chicken and left only rice brought you enough comfort to not obsessively think about his whereabouts for the next few hours.

When Ran shows up, his eyebrow bloody and split, he finds you on the couch with a book in your hands. Before you close the book he sees the cute cat on its cover and reads the name of the author and title of the book. “I am a cat” by Soseki Natsume. He wonders if you brought the book along with you or stole it from his mother’s bedroom. Back in the days she used to read a lot. Just like you.

“Ran…” You start, standing up from the couch. Your voice is small and you sound like you are sorry, but he has no idea why you should be. “Let’s get you to the bathroom. Are you hurt or…?”

He interrupts you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and falling with you to the couch. He takes a deep breath. “I am just tired. That’s all. Let’s sit here a bit.”

“Okay. If that’s what you want. If that will make you feel better.”

He hums and closes his eyes, absorbing the calm air of the house and your body warmth. His ears are ringing. He still hears shouting and he so desperately wants it to stop he is ready to do anything. But the voices won’t leave him alone until a certain time passes. He knows that well. He’s been there before.

“Ran?” You raise your head to look at him and all you see is blood and drained beauty. He is in pain. You can tell that much. You can feel that much. Your hand reaches out to his face and soon your fingertips are red with his blood, but the voices in his head have stopped and he flashes his eyes open, staring at you in confusion. “I am sorry. I know you don’t really like it when someone touches your face. You just looked so uncomfortable I thought I could make it better. I made sandwiches for you and Rindou. He isn’t home yet, though.”

You are spurting out nonsense and Ran hopes it’s not because you are afraid of him or because you think he might get angry because you touched him. He dreads the reason so he allows you to talk to your heart's content and you don’t stop for a very long time. Not until you notice his soft gaze and small quite smile.

“What is it?” You ask as if you weren’t throwing a word after word at him that barely made any sense.

He doesn’t reply. There’s no need and there’s no answer. He leans in and pecks your lips. It’s gentle at first. Barely there. Somehow, he isn’t afraid or nervous. Somehow, you are the same. But everything seems so achingly right, you kiss him back and it’s a mess of teeth and tongue and he knows he’s the first man you’ve ever kissed and therefore he is patient with you. And he is careful. And when his hands dip down to fondle your breasts and then inside your panties to play with you, he is considerate enough to ask you if you really want to do it with him. If you don’t it won’t change a thing between us.

Ran takes you right there on the couch and then he takes you to the shower where he licks every sore part of your body under falling warm water.

It’s in his bed between the kisses when he tells you. “When I wake up, you'd better be here. I won’t regret this and I don’t want you to either. Ever. We are still best friends. We always will be. Right?”

“Right.”

Right. Right. Right.

***

The first big fight with Ran or as he would later say a simple misunderstanding happens a week after your seventeenth birthday.

As usual you spend it with your close family and friends of your parents who they invited over to your house for dinner. It’s not really that big of a celebration and there’s less than ten people in all, yet, as a centre of attention it feels as if you are some sort of relique everyone is praying to. You don’t despise it, but at the end of the table there’s Rindou who coughs every time someone says something that only adults in their mid-thirties say in a proud voice as if they just discovered how to eliminate everything evil on this planet. And then, of course, there’s this certain evil that stares at you the entire day since they got there.

You try your best to not get caught in him and everything he is. However, it’s too tempting and you look at him as he tilts his head and mouths a small what. You frown and his lips quiver in a smile. With his hair down, he looks exceptionally handsome today. You are almost not mad at yourself for sparing him attention.

Your unnoticeable to anyone - or so you think - exchange is cut short when your father’s best friend asks you if you have a boyfriend, because, of course, he is sure that you do, since you are so beautiful and extremely smart. And if not a boyfriend, maybe you do have someone you like? The timing is divine, you think.

“No. Not really.” You say and Ran’s gaze makes you burn.

The dinner carries on till the end calmly.

It’s when the three of you join your friend to celebrate you in a proper way that things take an ugly turn. Ran’s first thought is that you are a liar, because no way this boy, your so-said friend from school, doesn't like you. No way you don’t notice it. His heart is fast to assume and his brain is a little bit slower to stop him.

The whole night he doesn’t speak to you. His downturned eyes narrowed watching your every movement. The way you laugh with the boy and how you touch his arm so gently and how he whispers something into your ear and you nod. So happy and so content.

Ran fucking hates it. He hates the guy and the rest of the night is spent trying to prove it.

Too caught up in mutual joy you don’t pay attention to his mood swings. It’s Ran. He’s always been like this. He never liked your friends and he never tried to befriend them. [For that there was Rindou.]

Before four in the morning Ran disappears. He takes a call, makes sure you’ve heard that it was from a girl, and never returns. You and Rindou go back home alone. He stays over at your house. Your parents laying out a mattress in your room. It has two pillows and two blankets, but Ran obviously won’t need any today. The sight of it fills Rindou with unbearable sadness.

For the next five days Ran avoids you as best as he can and when you come to his house to confront him about it and about his rude behaviour at your birthday party, like what do you have against Kage he didn’t do anything wrong, the switch inside him breaks and he goes insane. Not only you are on a first name basis with that boy, you also came here, to Ran’s house, to defend him. Ran’s mouth tastes bitter and the words that he spits at you are bitter too.

“So fucking desperate for someone to fuck you.” It would be easier if he was screaming. If he would let his rage run wild, but he doesn't. He speaks through gritted teeth and for the first time ever you are genuinely scared of him. You wonder if that’s what he looks like in fighting. Calm, collected and so intimidating. There’s something eerie about this new Ran you are seeing before you. You step back as he comes closer. “You are always like this. Always willing to hand your body to anyone who would have you.”

On the stairways to the second floor is his mother sitting with a bottle of cheap wine. Today is a bad day because she is drinking it straight from the bottle. The corners of her lips twitch as she watches the drama unfolding before her feet. It’s unclear what she is really thinking and if she’s thinking at all. Her eyes are cloudy and there’s tears in their corners. Rindou who’s in the room too is afraid Ran might snap at her.

He tries to intervene. “Ran. You better stop it right now.”

“Really? Defending her? Did she let you hit too?” He turns to his brother, sees his calm, serious expression and doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like it one bit. So he returns back to you, because looking at you upset hurts him better than anything else can. “One Haitani isn’t enough for us anymore? Need two? That’s why you were so loose the other day. I couldn’t even…”

When Rindou takes off his glasses you panic. They’ve never physically fought before and you don’t want them to breach this small achievement. If they lay a hand on each other it would alter their relationship forever.

You don’t want that.

Not over something so stupid.

Not over you.

You try to slide in between them - because you know neither of them would willingly hurt you; not even Ran in his present state - but Rindou grips your arm and puts you behind him. He’s grown taller over the last few years and his shoulders are insanely broad. And despite him being shorter than Ran he looks massive and more developed. Still, you have a feeling if they do fight he won’t win. It’s a shameful thought, but it’s there and you can’t brush it aside. So you plead. Once again.

“Rindou please. I don’t care. I’ll leave.” The desperate tone to your voice and the tears that can be heard in it as well don’t work on Rindou as you might have thought it would. He gets angry. He pushes Ran, his large palms coming in contact with Ran’s grey sweatshirt and Ran stumbles, taking a step back. The next punch is landing on Ran’s face and you swear you can hear the skin being torn open. You see the red blood gushing out blotching Ran’s fair skin and you sob.

Your first instinct is to rush out to him and treat his wound, unafraid of the dirt and spears he smudged across your heart earlier, but you don’t move. You accept Ran’s anger and you accept Rindou’s anger as well, and you bleed open, your cuts invisible, until the muddy clammy blood forms puddles around you and you are in them, suffocating.

“Get the fuck out of here, Ran.” Rindou says, his breath uneven, when Ran doesn’t strike back. “Go get some fresh air. I don’t fucking know. Just go the fuck away.”

As Ran leaves, their mother laughs. She says you chose the wrong Haitani, not knowing that there was never a choice.

You spend the night on the couch talking with Rindou. You both cook a simple meal to lose yourself in the simplicity of routine and then steal a cheap alcohol from his mother’s cupboard. You both doubt she would even notice. That night you confess to Rindou about everything and he listens calmly. Half he knew, half was just revealed. He doesn’t comment on your special relationship with his brother. He wouldn’t dare. The only thing he says is that he always knew it would end up like this. You and Ran and the absurdity that you both are. He doesn’t understand it and he probably never will. He just hopes the three of you will make it to that promised penthouse. To a better life. Together.

“Are you gonna wait for him?” Rindou yawns, stretching his hands as he stands up from the couch. “If you want, you can sleep in my bed today. I can crash here.”

“It’s okay, Rin. You don’t have to.”

He nods. There’s no point in arguing with you and he’s too tired to do so anyway. Before he goes to sleep he brings you a blanket and a pillow. As to say he doubts Ran would return today.

But he does. He does return when the night turns blue. You sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket and stare at the ceiling. Your eyes are glossy and your brain hurts from the crying so much, you can feel it pulsating. You don’t react when he opens the door and you don’t when he quietly closes it behind him. He sees you immediately and he sighs, his lips parted. Ran hoped you would be asleep when he’s back. It’s not that he didn’t want to see you. He just wasn’t ready to have a talk with you when the worms of guilt still eat him alive.

Of course, he can go upstairs and not say a word to you. Ignore you. He’s not going to lie. He’s still mad at you. Still mad at you being all over that guy [you weren’t really] and still mad that you don’t see it as something he could be upset over. But he is also mad at himself. And the relationship he has with himself is even more painful and messier than the one he has with you. So he takes off his shoes and with a conbini bag in hands walks towards the couch, where he sits next to you.

There’s a distance between the two of you and neither wants to be the one to rupture it. The guilt that didn’t let him abandon you a few minutes before now won’t let him speak.

“Ran…” You start and your voice in the empty house, with two people asleep and two awake, sounds too cold. He rolls his head on the couch headrest and looks at you. “I never wanted you to feel upset about my birthday party and I never would do something intentionally with the other guy when you are around. I know that what we have is not exclusive and we both can do whatever we want, but I’ve never been with other people besides you yet. And I don’t want you to feel bad about it, because I know that you have and I…”

“Come here.” He interrupts you mid-sentence, because what you just said hurt him more than all the punches and wounds he has received in his life and he doesn’t know how to cope with this pain if he doesn't have you everywhere around him.

You let him take your hands and tug you toward him, and by the way he spreads his legs you understand he wants you in his lap. You throw one leg over his hips and settle down, straddling him. Usually it would work him up in seconds, but today, right now, there’s nothing sexual about it. It’s sadness all around you.

“I am sorry. Look me in the face, please.” Your hands are now in his and he keeps them locked, intertwined together, near your belly. “I am really sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything of what I said. I don’t think about you that way. You are the most precious pure thing in my life and what I said was not about you. It was about me. Oh, please. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.”

There’s panic in his eyes as you tremble, crying silently, and he doesn’t know what to do. How to stop you from whatever nasty emotion he planted in you today. He kisses the corners of your lips and nudges your cheek with his nose. He cradles your face and his thumbs smoothes your eyebrows. He holds you so close to him and whispers sweet nothings along with earnest sorries. And he is so tender, so soft, so young at this moment you forgive him everything. You realise you have long before he even did something wrong.

“I brought you strawberry sando.” He whispers in the crook of your neck. You sniffle, your fingers in the web of his long long hair. “Do you wanna share?”

“Always.” Always, if it’s with you.

***

His first girlfriend doesn’t change anything and neither does your first boyfriend and all the girls and guys you both date after.

You still kiss every given chance, you still have sex and you still run to each other if something goes slightly wrong.

Bad argument with parents? Ran’s arms.

Lost fight? Your bed.

Failed exam? A long make out session.

Can’t come to a decision about something? A good head would solve all the problems.

Your last guy dumped you? He wasn’t worthy of you anyway. He wasn’t the one, I swear.

It’s an irony in itself. It isn't healthy and Rindou is the one constantly pointing it out. To you. He wouldn’t say anything to Ran about it. For he gets very defensive when spoken about you. A few arguments they had about it didn’t end up too well and Rindou was too smart to try to straighten his older brother. It was an ungrateful work Rindou didn’t want to commit to.

Besides, they now - a few arrests later and in a new gang - lived on their own. A shiny new large apartment in a posh area of Roppongi. Not the penthouse Ran promised you two, but something close to it. If younger Rindou doubted they would make it, now he was almost sure they would. The trust in them was never that strong.

You, a university student now, still lived with your parents on their childhood street. You too wanted to move out, but the rent was too expensive and other than freelance jobs here and there, you had no income. So you were doomed to linger around old ghosts for a bit longer. You didn’t mind it that much and if you want to get out from there you could always crash at Ran’s and Rindou’s place. You did that quite frequently.

“What are you gonna do if he starts seeing someone seriously?” Rindou asks as he watches you cut the cabbage in half.

It’s an expected question. He asks you this all the time when you speak about Ran and you and whatever you two have. Still, the unpleasant burn in your chest rings a bell and you shrug which Rindou interprets as i don’t care. In reality it’s a weak attempt to shed the thorns this question prompted.

“I don’t understand how you can do it daily…” “We don’t do it daily.” He squints. “Yeah. Anyway. Don’t you at least feel something for each other?” You set the knife aside and think about it for a bit. There’s nothing to think about, really. You know very well how you feel. You just don’t want Rindou to know it as well.

“He is one of the closest people I have. It's understandable that I feel something for him.” You leave it at that. Rindou is not satisfied with your answer, but it will do for now. As he picks up the other knife and starts helping you with the cabbage, he tells you about the new DJ setup he wants to buy and you talk about it for the rest of the evening.

For now everything is well.

Days later, though, you walk in on Ran making out with his new girlfriend and even if you’ve seen him kissing other girls before this one is like a breath of fresh air, sobering you up. The only difference is that the air is venomous and there’s hands around your neck, choking you. You feel dead.

“Oh God.” You say, apologetically, covering your eyes. You’ve been saying something the moment you opened the door to their apartment with your own key [because of course you do have one, just in case]. Something about how much you hate your university and how much you want to drop out. Now, the words are stuck in your throat and you wave your hands at them, apologies leaving your mouth.

Ran understands that something is wrong with you immediately. He hopes it’s not what he thinks it is. He hopes it’s not the end of you.

He is wrong. Because it is.

Because while he slaps the girl on her butt urging her to get off him, you are already at the door, putting your shoes back on. He catches you there. He asks you to stay and you do. Your hands tremble as he holds them, his grip is painful, but he needs to clasp on you to feel that you are still there. With him. You let him do it.

Neither of you notices the girl leave.

“I don’t want to sit there. I…” Your eyes are everywhere, but not on him and he thinks that even if you look at him, you won’t see him. Not now. Not ever again. You smile sheepishly, suddenly afraid and foreign. “Can we sit at the table instead?”

Instead, he takes you to the bathroom. Sits you on the toilet and fills the bath. He adds scented salt you bought and lights a candle that you so like to have lit when you are soaking together. For whatever reason, he wishes he was at his old house. There they have shower. Somehow, Ran thinks standing and having you in his arms would be better than sitting opposite of each other or him facing your back, that’s if you let him hug you now. He believes you won’t.

He believes you are already far far away from him and the mundane routine and stupid false idea that it would be different, that he still could’ve made you stay, would you be in his old childhood house is what keeps him together.

Ran clutches to it as if it could save him, when he knows so well, no one but you have this power over him.

In the bath you sit opposite him, your knees pressed to your chest, you don’t touch him as if you are avoiding him, but when he reaches out you slip your hands in his. It kills you that it doesn’t feel like anything, but burnt sugar. Like something sweet that is already buried.

“Remember that time Rindou said he never wanted to get older?”

You nod. Curious as to why he had remembered this particular insignificant moment of your life. But maybe, the significance of the moment is exactly in its insignificance. You rarely miss something with that deep ache in your heart that is obvious to miss. You always long for fragments of your life that are small and tiny. The way he drinks his water. The way his lips curl before he laughs or how he always pecks you before kissing you fully.

Before your eyes is cloudy blue-ish water. Your vision gets blurry. It’s how you understand you’ve been crying for some time now.

“I do think I understand him now. I don’t want to get older, because it means you will leave me.”

“Ran…”

“It means I will spend the rest of my life killing the need I have for you.”

“Ran, please…”

“It means I will always regret how this is my confession to you.” You rush to him, your hands around his neck and you are everywhere. Inside this apartment, inside his arms, inside his beating heart. Inside his very being. You are him and you are his and kilometres away you still will be.

“Don’t go somewhere I won’t find you.” He whispers as your lips fall near his temple above his eye. He takes off his chunky silver ring off his finger and puts it on yours. It’s the first jewellery he ever bought in his life. He was sixteen back then. It has the meaning of his whole self. “Don’t go somewhere where I can’t follow you. Promise me, love.”

“I promise, Ran. I’ll always be within your reach.”

The next day you drop out of the university. Without telling anyone anything you move from Tokyo to Kumamoto where you work as a freelance photographer and a waitress for roughly more than a year before moving abroad.

No one looks for you.

The world is silent.

***

Life doesn’t stop when you turn twenty six as you always thought it would. Age doesn’t crush you or diminish the person you once were. To be completely honest, it didn’t do shit. You don’t feel especially different. Life went on the same it always went and the same it always would. There’s a raw prominent beauty in this phenomena, you can’t quite put into words. It makes you feel very small, in an extenuating kind of way.

You don’t hate it, but you don’t like it either.

It is as if you are waiting for the wave that might never come.

Lately, you’ve been dreaming a lot. The dreams are usually the same. It’s the floor to ceiling windows, the smell of cheap cigarettes that are now long discontinued and a presence of two people that never ever left you. The other one has the small street where your childhood house is and this one is full of cicadas chattering. It’s always summer in this one and you are always young and loved there. You are always happy.

You don’t differentiate these two dreams, because they are about the same things. It would be naive to think they aren’t.

Today, it’s the first time this week that the sun decided to show up and warm this wet groggy city. It’s been raining for the whole month almost non-stop and you lock the door to your apartment rather hurriedly, wishing to get out of your box even for an hour, before it rains again. The key hits the ring on your ring finger and the metal sound it produces echo in the hallway. Until it bumps at something. You freeze.

“I didn’t know what apartment was yours.” He says and you are so desperate to turn around and you are so so so afraid he won’t be there when you do, because his voice sounds exactly as all those years ago and it should be different, shouldn't it be? Shouldn’t everything be different now? But it’s not. You are the same. The burn in your chest and the tie in your belly are the same too. And suddenly you are sixteen again. You drop the keys and you run to him; the only person you would’ve run to.

You bury your face in his neck noticing how there’s no braids, no hair. He has cut it short. But it’s still him. The smell, the laugh, the way his palms feel on the small of your back. The way you love him and the way he loves you. Only you. It’s never been anybody else.

“I bought the penthouse and now I came to take you home. Would you come with me? There’s no windowsill, but we can smoke in the kitchen. Rin was right after all. He is so smug about it. You can’t imagine. He’s in the car now waiting for us. Do you wanna go see him?” You do.

I do, I do, I do, you say, and he relishes in the sound of your voice. Bathing in the substance that is you and in this moment Ran wishes he could go back to his old bedroom in his childhood house with blue nights in Roppongi and promise all of you that everything is gonna be alright, that you will make it out together and that there's so much more to your stories. Even now, six years later, you still have your lives ahead of you.

And your stories are still not finished. Not even close.

There’s still so much more to come. To live. And this time properly together.

#ran haitani #ran x reader #ran x y/n #ran x you #ran #haitani x reader #ran haitani x y/n #ran haitani x reader #ran smut #haitani ran imagines #haitani brothers #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokrev #ran scenarios #ran haitani scenarios #ran fluff

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maddipoof · 10 months

Text

(center Tangerine icon by @cherriedt that was linked on pinterest, and the rest of them are just from pinterest :/, and the pictures of the necklace and the dress aren't meant to show the reader, just the kind of outfit I was picturing, it just happened to be Dua Lipa's met gala necklace and Lady Gaga)

Requested by my love and my life (but I forgot to put this under that and I'm in too deep) @loving-and-dreaming thank you for everything you've ever sent me, asked me, or tagged me in <33<333 Warnings: None graphic violence, bruising, bleeding, language (duh), smoking and sickeningly rich people el oh el WC: 2.7k and not proof read

When your mother invited you to one of her friends’ charity galas, this is hardly how you expected the night to go. You slipped into that black velvet gown that she offered you, with the perfect neckline to show off the necklace that was a gift from both your parents for your last birthday. The one with the fat diamond right in the center. It was certainly the gem to talk about. It even made quite a few headlines.

And it was certainly the talk of tonight, with half the conversations you had almost certainly leading to their eyes being drawn to your chest within the first 30 seconds. And for a masquerade, it was quite hard to remain anonymous when the thing was practically a shimmering name tag. Which was a fact you came to regret sooner rather than later.

About an hour after you arrived, after finding your table with your parents and greeting your friends, another masked man asked you to dance. He was tall, with quite the head of thick brown hair, and a hell of a mustache. But there was something about him that you couldn’t quite place, as you made polite conversation on the ballroom floor. His accent, maybe.

“May I ask where you’re from?”

“Oh well, that’s hardly the point of a masquerade now, love.” You spun away on cue and he drew you back in. “It’s about the mystery.” And with that the waltz ended with his chest against your back and your breathing heavier than it has been with any other partner that night. You tried to clear your throat quietly, with the way he was breathing down your neck. He was so overwhelming, what with his deep blue suit in such subtle contrast to the sea of black you were swimming in, and the strength of his arms that he didn’t use against you, but with you as he led you through the dance.

You twirled out of his arms and bowed along with the rest of the ladies on the floor. You nodded in gratitude for the dance then left to go find your friends with a shake of your head. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.”

“Looking a little winded there,” your closest, and most likely only true friend, Remington (or Remy to you), offered you her arm as you aimed for the restroom in hopes of a chance to catch your breath. Once inside, you reached into one of your deep pockets that were hiding beneath the voluminous fabrics of your skirt to pull out a small pack of cigarettes. You slipped one of the few remaining sticks between your lips and fumbled through your other pocket for the lighter you couldn’t reach. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“You have a better one?” Remy sighed and took her zippo out of her little handbag. “Thank you, dahlin’,” you put on an accent like the man you’d danced with.

“Ooh, so you’ve met the mysterious gentleman.”

“Dance with him too.”

“Oh my.”

“Oh yes.” You looked over your makeup in the mirror and checked your hair.

“Why does it smell like cherries?”

“They’re flavored.”

“That’s literally worse than smoking on its own.”

“I know but…cherries.” You took a final drag then stamped it out on the side of the sink and brushed the ashes down the drain. “Alright, gotta go get yelled at by my mother.”

You both gave each other salutes before you went back out into the hall and she went into a stall. There was a strange sound coming from around the other corner of the hallway towards the ballroom. It was most likely some sleazy billionaires’ sons thinking much higher of themselves than anyone should, so it was best to move on back to your table.

The whole time you sat there, you’d often catch eyes with the mysterious man from earlier. You didn’t see him dance with anyone else, but when you looked at him and looked like you meant to really look at him, and leaned back in your chair, he took that as a sign to ask you for another dance.

He wordlessly offered you his hand, which you took with more grace than he’s ever seen. He led you to the floor with a hand on the small of your back and you both assumed your positions for the most intimate dance of the night, it wasn’t too fast but it was very intricate and required you to trust your partner.

The music started and he was the best partner you’ve ever had. The way he lead you was perfect, every dip was like being held as a feather, every lift felt like floating, and every step was like walking on water. “You smell like cherries…and smoke.” He said as he brought you down from the lift.

“Hmm.”

“Didn’t think to share?”

“Didn’t think you’d be interested.” You slid your hand over his left shoulder as the dance required and flicked his gold hoop with your finger.

“How’d you learn to dance like this?” He spun you out again and

“Swiss boarding school,” you answered as if it was obvious.

“Figures.” You didn’t see the way he looked down at your necklace over your shoulder, you felt it more. “Dance with me again, love?” He turned his head so you felt his words too.

You hummed a yes and resumed your positions. 3 dances later, he tilted his head to one of the doorways that lead to a vast balcony. You nodded in agreement and took the arm he offered.

Once you were out there, alone, the only sounds were the busy city below you and the flick of his lighter behind you. You braced your hands on the railing behind you and watched the way the light of the small flame refracted through his eyes like a kaleidoscope. Once he brought his hand down you saw the slim cigarette and then smelt the cherries that followed. “That’s not yours.”

He put that hand down next to you on the railing and stood right in front of you, almost caging you in. “It’s much nicer to share, love.”

“You expect me to share my things when you won’t even share your name?”

“I don’t recall you tellin me yours either.”

“Didn’t think I had to.”

“Really?” His accent seemed more present now when he was all you could hear, not the music or the bustling crowd. “She’s that sure of herself, eh?”

“I can’t help it if most people, especially in a crowd like this, know who I am. Are you telling me you don’t?”

He used his other hand to flick the ashes off over the railing, now really caging you in. You took it from him when he was bringing it up to his mouth, drawing a smooth breath while he gave you a disapproving twitch of his mustache. He didn’t answer your question beyond a shrug.

“I can’t even get a first name out of you? Nothing?”

“How’s Tangerine?”

You smirked with a scoff of a laugh, he didn’t look very happy with that. “Like the fruit?”

“Yes, like the–”

“Your mother named you after a little orange?”

“She didn’t– No, it’s an alias.”

“Ooh, a code name then?”

“Yes.”

“What for? You hiding from something?”

“In a sense.”

“I think you’d have to be. A fake name and a mask, I think you mean business.”

“And what do you fancy that business is?” He traced a finger down your collarbone to the chain of your necklace until he reached the large stone resting on your chest. Usually, such a thing, focusing only on the jewelry, would be an absolute turnoff. But for some reason, it was different when he did it.

“I’d say something–” You were cut off by a strange figure moving at the other end of the balcony. “What was…” It was his turn to smirk at that as another man emerged from the shadows. He was a little bit taller than “Tangerine,” and his coily hair was bleached almost to white besides the roots, but he had the same earring.

“Evenin’, I’m Lemon.”

You rolled your eyes at what your night has come to, you knew better than to go anywhere with strangers with masks and no name. “Oohh, Lemon and Tangerine, clever,” you bit sarcastically and pushed Tangerine off of you a little harder than he must have been expecting with the way he stumbled back.

Lemon looked at Tangerine like he expected such a reaction. “Listen, love,–”

“I’m not your ‘love’,” you mocked his accent and Tangerine tilted his head with his eyebrows raised and his lips in a thin straight line. With a wave of your hand, you let him go on.

“You’re gonna keep the mask on, we’ll walk outta here, real calm, and it’ll all be over soon.”

“I’d really rather not.” You went to take a step back inside but Tangerine caught your arm. Again, really not how you wanted your night to go. You rolled your head to the side and looked at him like he was boring you. You wrenched your arm from his grip and Lemon tried to catch you too, but you ducked under that and landed a swing to Tangerine’s cheek, knocking his mask to the ground. This was one of those rare occasions that he looked better under the mask, but there was no time to dwell on that when he lunged towards you. You dodged that as well, but it was difficult for them to keep you away from the doors and windows so no one inside would notice, and it was difficult for you to watch both of them at once and also move in such a dress.

It was quite a tussle, “Where did you learn to fuckin fight like this?!” Tangerine groaned as you had one arm around his neck and the other under his arm coming over yours, only restricting him as much as you needed to get him to stop.

“Swiss boarding school.”

Lemon huffed with his hands on his knees then stepped towards you. You pushed Tangerine at him and ran to the nearest door. Just as you were stepping into the ballroom, hair a mess and cheek smudged with makeup and blood from one of Tangerine’s rings, someone stepped in front of you and blocked your path. It a second to recognize them but with a blink it was all too clear. Remy pushed you back and Tangerine had you by both wrists behind you.

“Let’s go then,” she said definitively, making you laugh. “What?” She barked.

“Like this? As if everyone isn’t looking at me anyway, I think they might if I look like this.”

“You don’t look any worse than usual.”

“Remington, that is a ridiculous thing to say, and no, I mean people might fucking notice if I look like I’m being kidnapped.”

She nodded to the man behind you and after a sharp strike to the back of your head, you were out.

***

You woke with a twitch of your nose and a throbbing pain to your left cheek and right temple. There was a tickling on your eyelid that made you want to sneeze, and you could feel the cold of the bathroom tile through your skirts. “Stop moving.”

“Can I fucking breathe for a second? Jesus Christ.” She backed off from you and held up the makeup brushes in annoyed surrender.

“Put the mask back on, then we’ll go.”

“Go where?”

“It might be easier if you stay quiet, love.”

You went to push yourself up but your hands were restrained behind your back so you you suffered with turning your aching neck to look at Tangerine instead, noticing his tie was missing. “Might be easier if you let me go, and you kidnap literally anyone any less recognizable.”

He cracked his knuckles and looked like he was going to step towards you but Lemon held him back and started talking about what sounded like Thomas the Tank Engine. The choo choo’s Lemon was saying were not helping their case.

Remington grabbed your chin and looked you over. “You look fine. Put your mask on.” She threw it at you then seemed angry when you didn’t act immediately. Tangerine came behind you and lifted you up and Lemon stood in front and did your mask. In all their years, he had to have been the least professional of all their clientele.

“Is this how you typically spend your Saturdays?”

“Kidnapping ridiculously rich women for other ridiculously rich women?” Lemon asked and you nodded. “It’s usually our day off.”

“You were a special case.” Tangerine said as he untied your wrists and redid his tie.

“How sweet.” You shook out your wrists and Remington took you through back through the halls leading to the ballroom.

You want to run up to one of the guards or guests or literally anyone, you want to throw elbows and break Remington’s jaw, but you don’t know what they have on them, you don’t know if they’re working with anyone else. It’s best to go along with it and keep everyone else safe, just keep your wits about you and your head high. It’s not like you were particularly visible at the moment, walking close to the wall with Tangerine on your left and Lemon on the right between you and the rest of the crowd with both your hands in the crook of their elbows. Your face must have betrayed the depth of your thoughts since Tangerine put his other hand on top of yours, funny of him to try and comfort you when he’s more than aiding in your kidnapping. “Where's the smile? They're going to think I'm holding you hostage, honey.”

“Sorry.” You tried to find some humor in his sarcasm but the reality was tumbling at you too fast and your cheek was beginning to bruise.

“Like I said, it’ll be over soon.”

There was a black car waiting outside, and at least Lemon held the door open for you to get in the back seat then helped make sure none of your skirt got caught in the door. He sat with you and Tangerine drove while Remington sat in the passenger seat. It was hard to stifle a scoff when she tried to put her hand on his wrist as he shifted, only for him to immediately bring it back to the wheel. It was a busy European city, difficult to navigate its crowded streets but he managed.

“Can you roll down the window a little bit? I need some air.” You asked sweetly, meekly so they might be more inclined to acquiesce. Besides the initial fight and your sharp tongue, Tangerine thought you’d been quite cooperative, so he lowered it a few inches.

Just enough space for you to unclasp your necklace and throw it out the window. It was at that horrific moment that the car slowed down exponentially and in the instant Remington saw what you did she let out a horrific scream. Yelling “What the fuck is wrong with you, you bitch?!?!?” at the top of her lungs like you threw her ten million dollar necklace out the window, not your own. She jumped out the car to go find it and slammed the door behind her just as the traffic was letting up.

“Did she pay you already?” You said hurriedly.

“You think we’d be dealing with her shit if she didn’t.”

“So you’ll drive?”

“To get away from that fuckin bitch? Anything.” He slammed his foot on the gas and wove between cars.

“What about your necklace?” Lemon asked.

“This one?” You pulled it out of your deep pocket and they both whooped and laughed at your cunning.

“You’re something else, love.”

“Thank you.”

“So, where to?” Still going top speed on the now open road.

“Wherever you like.”

thank you for reading and I just want to remind you that if you really want to appreciate your writers, comments and reblogs especially are the way to go, that's how things circulate here and as much as I appreciate the likes, your words mean more than I could ever express

#tangerine fic #tangerine fanfiction #tangerine fluff #lemon and tangerine #bullet train 2022 #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine x y/n #tangerine imagine #lemon bullet train #tangerine blurb #tangerine bullet train #dell's fics

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layuhsblog · 28 days

Note

winwin x reader angst? :3

Hii thankyou for requesting, i hope you like it! Lemme know if you want a part 2.

The Surprise- Winwin X Reader

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions fire, no animal was hurt, a cat named Panko, reader is clumsy, winwin being a meanie.

also please dispose broken glass in a safe box or anything so that incase wild animals search through it they dont get hurt

You were in the kitchen, making Sicheng's favourite food for dinner, humming to yourself. You were in a great mood today considering how it was Sicheng and your 1 year anniversary. He was coming over in an hour.

You hadn't wished him yet, hoping to surprise him.

Sicheng always took care of you well and the past year had been the best year of your life. You wanted to return the favour and make today special for him. Stirring the pot, you took some broth in a small spoon and blew on it to taste it. Everything had to be perfect today.

Half an hour later you were done preparing for dinner, you set the table. Lit up the scented candles you bought together and went to take a bath.

Just before you could take your robe off and step into the bath you heard a crash sound and you immediately ran towards it.

Your cat, Panko had knocked over the candle; setting fire to the tablecloth. The cutlery you put down were all on the floor, plates shattered everywhere.

You ran towards your cat, picking her up in your arms, first checking if she was hurt anywhere. The fire alarm was now beeping rapidly. Panicked you ran outside your apartment and took the emergency extinguisher to put the fire out.

Thankfully both your cat and your apartment was alright. You reacted quickly and put her inside your room and closed the door so she doesnt get hurt 'cus of the broken plates.

When you sat on the floor to pick up the big pieces of glass into an empty cardboard box and you finally broke down. The adrenaline rush subsiding. You didn't even realise your hand got a little burn in the whole process. You quickly calmed yourself down and reassured yourself that you were quick enough that nothing went wrong.

Just then Winwin came home tired from practice. He was in a fowl mood as he got scolded by Kun for being distracted while practicing. He was also upset because you did not remember your anniversary.

When you texted him to come home early, he had hopes. Maybe you'll surprise him or something. Even if you forgot he was expecting to atleast have a nice dinner with you and go to sleep but this was far from what expected.

The house smelt like smoke, broken plates on the floor, you kneeling beside it, eyes swollen like you had been crying

"Babe, w-what happened, why does the house smell like smoke?!" he ran towards you

"I went to take a bath and Panko knocked over the candle that was on the table. I should've been more careful. she's not h-"

Sicheng couldn't help it, in his poor defence he was tired. Before he could think about what he wanted to say, before he could check up on you or Panko, his mouth moved faster than he could help it,

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! How can you be so fucking irresponsible? You can't even remember our anniversary or take care of a fucking cat. What if she got hurt? Would you come crying to me for that too? I'm tired of cleaning up your messes ___. Can you even handle a relationship? You can't even look after yourself."

You couldn't believe the words coming out of him right now.

You stood up in anger,

"I didn't know you felt that way Sicheng. I'm sorry you've had to parent me this whole time. I'll set you free if its really that big of a problem. Happy fucking anniversary. I'll get Panko and the rest of my stuff in the morning, yknow considering how if I take her right now I "might end up not taking care of her properly." By the way, we're okay. Thanks for asking." You spat out. Taking your car keys and without sparing him a second glance, you left. You cannot let anyone disrespect you this way.

He heard the door shut behind him. It finally dawned upon him what he had done. Too ashamed to follow after you, he started cleaning up the room. When he went to the kitchen he saw the pot that had his favourite dish and a bunch of side dishes on the counter. There was a half written letter by the side in broken Chinese characters;

'I will always love you Sicheng, thankyou for everything you do for me. I wanted to pay you back with a surprise. I'm taking Mandarin and Wenzhounese lessons so you can speak comfortably with me. Happy anniver-'

He took a sharp breath after reading that letter as he realised how badly he messed up.

#nct dream fluff #nct dream #nct fluff #nct 127 #writers on tumblr #anime #nct wayv #wayv #wayv imagines #wayv angst #wayv fluff #winwin wayv #dong sicheng #sicheng wayv

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growup-thatbeautiful · 1 year

Text

come what may

Word Count: 1.8k

Tags: Tangerine x you, Tangerine x Reader, Bullet Proof Universe, Pre-Bullet Proof, Proposal Fic, Romance, Fluff, Cursing

Taglist: @venusthepirate @shadows-of-nyx @syd-vixious @thefloatingpickle @sallyp-53 @fictionalcomforts @s-haa @the-bisaster @phoenixhits @wee-little-mouse @cupofstarss @eefos @slut-f0r-u

Summary: When Tangerine proposed before things went wrong. It is not necessary to have read Bullet Proof, which this is a prequel to and can be found linked in my masterlist.

A/n: hi guys! i love this couple so much, i just wanted to write a short little backstory for them :) more to come in the future. please please please send in requests for them, i would love to hear what y'all want

Bullet Train Masterlist

Masterlist

~*~

The low hum of Tangerine’s record player fills your flat, some jazz album that you haven’t learned the name of. He’s in the other room on the couch, blowing smoke up into the air.

If you were in a nicer place, you would care about the smell of it sinking into the walls and the furniture, but there’s not much you two have left to ruin here. It’s a shithole, with leaky faucets and fault smoke detectors, but you’ve lived here with him for three years, and you can’t seem to make yourself leave when you have no reason to. It’s only recently that moving out has even been an option, though. Money, before now, had usually not been in abundance. That all changed when Lemon and Tangerine started taking bigger jobs, getting more recognition. Things, somehow, are looking up.

“Tan, what are you doing? We’re supposed to be leaving in a few minutes. Lemon’s waiting,” you call from the bathroom, putting on your earrings and finishing your makeup. Finally, you put on your heels, armed with a holster on your thigh underneath your silky black dress. The gold accent of your jewelry glints, even in the stale bathroom lighting.

“Fucking hell,” he sighs. “You look like an angel, love.”

“I’m very far from an angel,” you laugh. He knows very well that you have blood in your past, just like he does. “Are you ready to go?”

“What?” he asks, his head cocked to the side.

“We’re supposed to be meeting Lemon for dinner,” you remind him, walking over to the kitchen where your purse is. “It’s on the calendar.”

“Goddammit. I made other plans,” Tangerine groans, throwing his head back against he couch, but there’s a glint in his eye that you recognize as scheming. “Why don’t we tell Lemon we’ll meet him at a later date?”

“You’re up to something.” He looks at you while he goes to the record player and carefully takes the record off of the player. The dark black of his suit matches your dress, as does the gold of his earrings and rings. It wasn’t on purpose, at least on your part, but it’s endearing.

“Me? Never.” His cheeky smile melts you, like it always does, and the way he stands up and walks towards you slowly, his hands fixing his shirt cuffs and twisting his rings, doesn’t hurt either. “I’m an open fucking book.”

“You didn’t forget,” you say slowly. “What are you up to, then? Come on, out with it.”

“And ruin all the fun? No fucking way.” The grin on his face is full and his eyebrows are raised, asking you to trust him. You do, of course. One of his hands slides across your waist and the other reaches for his coat as he herds you out the door.

“Fine, but you’re the one who’s going to tell Lemon.” You look over at Tangerine to see him grinning and looking sideways at you. “He already knows, doesn’t he.”

“There were never any plans,” Tangerine explains, laughing when you lightly slap his arm and shoulder him.

“Fucking twat,” you accuse. “You could have just told me.”

“Probably,” he agrees. “But I didn’t want you to know because then you would ask questions.”

“Said like a true serial killer.” You lock the door behind you and Tangerine, with his hand still on your back, leads you to the elevator. The night air is cool against your skin, but Tangerine keeps you warm with his arm around your shoulders. Your street is lively in the nighttime, with laughing families and couples like you, and the moon lights up the cobblestones underneath your feet.

The car ride there is in the back of a black cab that smells like cigarette smoke, and Tangerine’s hands don’t leave you the whole time., whether they’re resting on your thighs, holding your hand, or skating along your arms.

At some point, Tangerine makes you close your eyes, which lasts a few seconds before you can’t take it and open them. With a sigh, Tangerine leads your head into his neck and you rest it there. “Come on, love, just rest here, yeah?”

It isn’t much longer before the cab pulls to a stop, and Tangerine helps you out of the car. It’s much darker, wherever you are, and you’re surprised to feel dewy grass underneath your shoes. There’s a short man standing off to the side, wearing a bowler hat and a bright green shirt. “You’re late,” the man notes, his head cocked to the side with his hands crossed in front of him. “I should give your spot to someone else.”

“Oh, come off it, yeah? I’m here now, that’s all that matters,” Tangerine says to the man, looking over at you before pulling the man aside and whispering animatedly with him. You know him well enough to know that he’s probably threatening the man in various, creative ways.

Finally, he looks at you and waves you toward him. “Come on, love.”

“Are you sure you aren’t going to murder me here?” you ask, motioning at the still-black night around you. “This feels very murdery.”

“If I was, I wouldn't fucking tell you, now would I? Just trust me, this is going to be worth it.”

“You could have at least told me not to wear these shoes,” you complain, wobbling as you step through the grass and dirt.

“Give them here.” Tangerine holds out his hand and you hold it while you slip your shoes off your feet. When you’re done, he takes them, holding them in the hand that isn’t holding onto yours. “It’s not much further.”

“Thanks,” you say absentmindedly, looking at the stars. You don’t see them a lot, from your place in London, so anytime you can, it’s hard to take your eyes off them. You know Tan’s not the same; he grew up, at least briefly, in a place where he could see stars all the time, and they never helped him out, as he says.

He says they’re cold and far away, unlike you. You’re prettier than them, and you glow brighter than they ever will. According to him.

You come to a clearing, barely lit by the moon hanging big and pale above you. The bell-like sound of a stream is somewhere nearby, accompanied by a symphony of nighttime insects. Tangerine is sure with his footing, leading you towards some point you don’t know. His sharp profile is illuminated, accented by the moon’s silver glow, his earring glinting. He looks like some otherworldly being, an ethereal creation of someone’s perfect image.

“Watch your step, love,” he says, holding your hand tightly as he leads you onto a rocky path. With his other hand, he turns you to face him, your hands resting on the material of his suit. Tangerine reaches in his pocket and draws out a small remote, pressing a button. Your setting is revealed to you in a flash of lights hanging above you.

The bridge you’re standing on, what you thought was the stone path, is mossy and covered with string lights, the night around you starry and quiet. There are colorful wildflowers surrounding you, and a little creek underneath you, all looking like they’re out of some fairy tale book. Iridescent green fireflies come alive, like Tangerine controls them too, floating around you and swaying with the wind.

“Oh my god,” you exhale, mostly because you don’t know what else to say. “Where did you find this place?”

You don’t need to be able to see him clearly to see the smirk on his face, however tinged with adoration it is for you. “A gentleman never reveals, darling.”

The only response he gets from you is a hum in agreement as you take in your surroundings. You find yourself, however, unable to tear your eyes away from the man in front of you for more than a few seconds before you're drawn back to the way the lights reflect in his eyes and the creases at his eyes when he smiles at you. You don’t think he had those before.

When your eyes have settled in him at last, Tangerine takes a deep breath “You’ve been with me through my hardest times when Lemon and I were just two kids trying to figure it out on our own. You stood by my side when we figured this out, how we were going to do this, and there isn’t anything that will ever change the way I feel about you.” Tangerine takes your hand and kisses your knuckles before kneeling down on the ground.

“Tan,” you whisper, your voice unsteady and weak. It’s not like you to be this caught off guard, but he’s always had a way to find your cracks.

“Love, there isn’t anyone else in the world I want to be with as much as I want to be with you. So, I thought to myself, why not make it official?”

“Are you- is this actually happening?” you ask, a hand coming up to cover your mouth as tears come to your eyes. “You better not be fucking joking.”

“I’m not, love. Can I ask the question now?” His cheekiness makes you laugh, an ugly, wet laugh that makes him grin wider.

“Yes,” you choke out. “Fucking ask me.”

“So demanding,” he chides without malice. “Will you marry me?”

You can’t get an answer out before you’re on your knees with him, arms around his neck, fingers twisting into his hair.

“I take that as a yes, then?” he asks into your ear, a

like against your hair. His arms are strong around you, holding you up and holding you down to reality.

“Yes,” you grin. “Yes.”

Carefully, Tangerine takes the signet ring off his pinky finger and puts it on your ring finger. The golden band is set with a plain black stone, smooth and shiny. You think it’s one of the ones he’s stolen, maybe from an art museum or some fancy jewelry store. Either way, you’ve never known him without it. It’s not a perfect fit, but you’d rather have something of his than anything else. You can always get it adjusted.

You keep your hand in his and sit back against the stone of the bridge, his shoulder up against yours. Automatically, your head finds its home on his shoulder, and he leans his on top of yours, a puzzle that fits together perfectly.

Right now, it doesn’t matter that your dress is getting dirty and the stone is cold, or that it’s dark and you’re unprotected. All that matters are the million more seconds you have with Tangerine, the fights and the makeups, the happy moments and the sad ones. You can see your future through a hazy glass window: sleeping next to him and waking up with him, cooking in the kitchen and eating on the floor, your child, whoever they may be, laughing with his curls in between you. It’s so stunningly clear and so uncertain, but it fills you with absolute joy.

You’ll tell Lemon tomorrow, and you’ll figure out the details at some point. Right now, you’re content to sit her with the love of your life and watch the night unfurl around you, his warmth steadfast by your side.

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writemekpop · 2 years

Text

Bad Decisions | Na Jaemin

5K Follower Series Ep. 17

Summary: You’re set to say, I do - until your fiancé Jaemin gets drunk and confesses that he no longer loves you.

Genre: Established relationship AU, angst

Word Count: 1.4k

Prompt : “I made us dinner...”

As soon as you opened your apartment door, Jaemin crashed into you, wrapping you in a bear hug that left you breathless.

“Can’t- breathe-” you chuckled.

Jaemin loosened his grip, but kept his arms around your waist. He hadn’t held you like that in months.

“Y/n!” he exclaimed. “You didn’t tell me you were so pretty!” He wrapped one piece of your hair around your ear. “Pretty… pretty… pretty…”

You frowned at his very red face. “Have you been drinking?”

Grinning lazily, he pushed you till your back was pressed against the wall. He dipped his lips to your neck, making you gasp. Jaemin hadn’t kissed you like this in months.

“Come to bed, fiancé?” he asked. “I’m rock hard.”

You could taste the tang of tequila on his lips, you could smell it coming off his skin.

You bit your lip. “I don’t know if this is a good idea…”

Jaemin pushed his finger on your lips, shushing dramatically.

Jaemin pulled you towards the bedroom. Why did Jaemin have to make life so hard for you? Every piece of better judgement you had was screaming that this was a bad idea. But still… you wanted him.

Jaemin kissed you on the mouth, his hands cupping your head. You started to lose yourself in his warm grasp, all doubts evaporating like smoke.

Then suddenly, his knees caved in and he collapsed, pinning you against the bed.

You groaned, crushed by his weight. “God, J, you promised this wouldn’t happen again.”

A siren wailed outside the window.

Jaemin slumped his head on your shoulder. “Think I’m gonna be sick.”

You managed to help him to the bathroom just in time. You got a towel and dabbed the sweat off his forehead.

Once you’d cleaned Jaemin up and put him bed, you slumped down beside him, exhausted.

Jaemin was suspended in the place between wake and sleep. Sex was definitely off the table now.

Jaemin nuzzled his face into your neck. “Sorry I got… drunk.”

You sighed. “It’s fine. Just promise me you won’t be like this at the wedding.”

“Mmm, wedding.” Jaemin said, eyes shut, drifting in and out of sleep.

You closed your eyes and imagined Jaemin in a blue tuxedo, eyes beaming.

“Don’t wanna get married…” he said. “Can’t go back… gave my word.”

Your eyes went wide. You stared at Jaemin, but his eyes were shut. Was that the tequila talking?

“Don’t tell Y/n…” Jaemin mumbled in his sleep. “But… don’t love her no more…”

You couldn’t breathe. You were filled with a sickening sense of dread.

You’d barely seen each other since the proposal, but you figured that was because of your jobs. Had Jaemin been avoiding you? Had he found someone else?

Was your relationship really over?

—

You woke up to the sound of the vacuum screaming.

You sat up and saw Jaemin frantically hoovering the bedroom carpet. You didn’t even think he knew where the hoover was.

“Good morning, sweetie! Last night was crazy. I got so drunk. I don’t remember a single thing. Nothing. Nada. Crazy, right?”

You frowned. “Jaemin… last night, you-“

Jaemin cut you off. “Mad what alcohol does to you, right?” He threw his head back and laughed manically.

Your mouth fell open. “But you-“

“Wow, I’m so late for work. I’ll catch ya later, Y/n!”

He dropped the hoover and ran out of the room.

You stared at the door in disbelief. Why was Jaemin acting so strange? You shuddered.

You stayed at work as long as you could, dreading coming home to face Jaemin. But eventually, your boss insisted you go home.

When you got home, the apartment was silent. You sighed. Hopefully Jaemin was out.

But then, Jaemin rushed into the hallway.

“You’re home!” Jaemin pulled you in for a hug. “I made us dinner…”

You followed him into the dining room. When you saw the table, you gasped.

The table was scattered with rose petals, and a heart shaped balloon floated above your chair. In glittery gold writing, the balloon said, “I LOVE YOU.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?”

Jaemin’s brows shot up. “No! Can’t I make a romantic dinner for my fiancé?”

You sat down, knees threatening to give way. “Jaemin, I know…”

Jaemin slumped down in his chair. He swiped his brow. “K-know what? Last night? Nothing happened last night?”

“So you do remember what happened! Tell me what’s going on!”

Jaemin gulped. “Are we really gonna do this now?”

“Jaemin, please! D-do you not love me anymore?”

He took in a sharp breath, as if you’d physically wounded him. You let yourself hope. Maybe it really was just a stupid dream. Maybe he did still love you.

And then he spoke.

“I… I… don’t… know how I feel, about you…”

You didn’t realise how much it would hurt to hear it - to have your worst fears come true.

“Thi-this was the plan? Just lie to me forever? Or, I don’t know, ditch me on my wedding day?” You balled your hands into fists. “Or maybe you’d never tell me. Maybe you’d just cheat on me behind my back!”

Jaemin sighed. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you! I hate seeing you all… upset.”

You scoffed. “Oh, don’t pretend you give a damn how I feel.” You were trying your hardest to keep the tears in.

Suddenly, you were too overcome to speak. You sat down on the couch, burying your head in your hands as hot tears welled in your palm.

Finally, you whispered, “Where did we go wrong? Was it… something I did?”

Jaemin put his hand over yours, shaking his head. “It’s nothing like that, Y/n. I think we’re just… better off as friends. It’s my fault for letting this go on for so long.”

You didn’t shout. You didn’t even look Jaemin in the eye.

“I wish I’d never met you, Jaemin. Because then, I would never have to find out what a selfish jerk you are.”

Jaemin didn’t flinch. He just smiled sadly.

You stood up, yanking your jacket over your shoulders. You turned to leave, but smacked face first into the obnoxious heart shaped balloon. You yelled in frustration.

“I’m sorry.”

--- One year later---

“So how’s it going with the new guy? What was his name again… Mark something?” Jaemin handed you another cocktail. You were stretched out on sun loungers by the beach.

You smiled to yourself, remembering Mark’s crooked smile and the way he was too shy to meet your eyes the first time he asked you out.

“It’s going good,” you said. “We’ve been on nine dates.”

Jaemin grinned. “And how’s the sex?”

You whacked his arm, laughing. “Jaemin! We may be friends again now, but we’re not there yet.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “Oh, really? Come on, Y/n. You gotta give me something!”

You bit your lip, then propped yourself up on your elbows. “Okay, fine. It’s amazing. He does this thing with his tongue that’s like-“

Jaemin clamped his hands over his ears, yelling. “Okay I take it back, we’re not there yet!”

You laughed.

Lifting up your sunglasses to look at him, you said, “Honestly, I am so grateful we’re not dating anymore. Because I can finally tell you how frickin’ annoying that thing with the dishes is! Put them in the dishwasher, you idiot! Don’t just let them sit in the sink!”

Jaemin burst out laughing, protesting, “What about the- grammar thing you do? God, you don’t know what a relief it is to get sentences out without worrying about splitting an infinitive.”

Chucking sand at each other, you both laughed till your stomachs hurt.

It had taken some time for you to realise that actually, you and Jaemin were better off as friends. In fact, this was your honeymoon that you never went on. After spending weeks arguing over who got the tickets, you decided to just go together.

And you weren’t just joking around: you really weren’t made out to be a couple. Fate had worked out in a mysterious, and idiotically painful way, but you were both better for it.

You lifted your pina colada and clinked it with Jaemin’s. The dying sun painted the sky in the glorious reds and purples.

“To the best decision we never made,” you said.

He chuckled. “I’ll drink to that.”

—

5K MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

TAGLIST: @nominsgirl @heyychannie @anonjyxd @theficblog @dazaiosmooooo @kpoploverxx-12 @johleeh-blog @legbouk @silent-potato23-blog @nctdom @gigilame @bubutaeyongie @unknownnctizen @minaamhh @hii-yongseul @xxxx-23nct @joepomonerof @jypeee @duchesskaren @lolalee24 @luvlyjaemin

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boliv-jenta · 11 months

Text

Jack Daniels x reader

WC: 710

Warnings: Father's Day angst.

Promise

The sun warmed your face as it slipped through the curtains. The stars were too beautiful for you to cover up last night as you struggled to fall asleep. The apprehension of what today you bring buzzing under your skin.

Jack was at your back, an arm lax over your waist, seemingly unmoved since it wrapped around your restless form at 3am. The clock read 7am. Way too early to be up on a sleepy Sunday. Half an hour later, your bladder began to protest at your attempt at pretending to be asleep. Jack stirred as you slipped from the bed. His 'good morning' lacked his usual cheer.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. There was no whistling from Jack as he cooked. He hadn't even bothered with the radio.

You didn't notice either of those things until you were halfway through picking at your pancakes. "How about some music?"

The radio sang to life as you turned up the volume. An ad for a car dealership rang out as you returned to the table. Just as you decided to push the plate away from you, a familiar song sent a shiver through you. Who's going to drive you home tonight?

Jack noticed straight away. "What is it?"

"This song reminds me of my dad." You tried to shrug it off but Jack's hand stilled your shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Sugar." His reassurance made you feel safe enough to let the tears gathering in your eyes fall.

"I'm sorry. I know today must be hard for you." You tried your best to wipe the tears away, suddenly feeling foolish for crying when Jack had been through the same loss as you as well as a much more painful one.

"It'd be harder without you here, Darling." Sitting back in his seat next to you, he pulled you into his lap. "So why does that song remind you of your dad? Was it one of his favourites?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I just have a strong memory of him driving me home one night with that song playing. Maybe because it went together it stuck in my head. I don't have many memories of him."

"What others do you have?" He pulled you in tighter, his hand finding yours and intertwining his fingers with yours.

"The smell of dirt and coal. He was always working with his hands. He would do jobs for anyone. He used to use detergent on his hands to scrub it all off."

"Huh, just like you showed me when we painted this place."

"Yep. I remember him cooking for me and my mom. The sound of his heartbeat as I snuggled into his chest."

Sobs welled up from where you had pushed everything down.

"Hey. Hey. You're okay." Jack gently rocked you in his lap. "My daddy taught me how to ride. How to shoot. How to make all types of fires that would burn wherever you needed them. One's buried in the ground so the smoke wouldn't billow. One's that would burn in a storm. He taught me how to survive." Jack smiled to himself. "And to whistle. The man loved music but he had no talent for it. He couldn't hold a tune in a bucket!"

The two of you shared a laugh at that. "Neither can I. That's why I learned to play the guitar. Women love a musician. I started learning to play some lullabies for my boy…I wasn't going to put him through listening to my singing."

"I'm sure he would have loved them all the same." You leaned your forehead against his catching the gleam of tears in his eyes.

"Thank you." His moustache scratched your cheek as he pressed a kiss there. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I may have lost a lot but I found something special too. You're the reason I'll get through this hard day and every one after. If you let me, I'll be here for all your hard days too."

"You promise?" You asked with a child like hope.

You knew all too well that no one could promise anyone their tomorrows but if anyone could give it a damn good go at delivering, it would be your Jack.

"Promise." He agreed, pressing his lips to your wedding ring.

You may not have enough memories of your father to keep him alive, but like Jack, he would be forever etched into your heart.

@kirsteng42 @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid2 @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass @mandoloriancookie @faceache111 @elegantduckturtle @manazo @simpingcowboy @pedrit0-pascalit0 @yourcoolauntie @pedrostories @geekrenaissance

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x you #jack daniels angst

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 1 year

Text

Embarrassing Secret Story

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support cybird by buying their stories. Spoilers under the cut. Expect mistakes.

One sunny afternoon

After finishing my work, I returned to the trading post and was on my way to my room.

(Ah...)

At that moment, the door to the next room opened, and Kicho stepped out.

Mai: "Thanks for all your hard work."

Kicho: "Yeah. You're back."

His eyebrows twitched as he responded.

(Oh, could it be?)

Mai: "You can smell it?"

Kicho: "Yeah, looks like someone smoked a smoking pipe."

Mai: "Yes. I'm surprised you noticed."

(I'm pretty sure they did, but they stopped it when I walked into the room.)

I sniffed my own sleeve, but I couldn't tell.

Kicho: "It's not too much for you to worry about. See you later."

Mai: "Yes, have a nice day."

He walked away, probably because he had work to do.

As I watched his back, I thought back to the client's house I had just visited.

(It did take some time to discuss what kind of design they wanted to use.)

(Though I don't think the room was filled with smoke or smelled enough to bother me.)

But he is sensitive to smell and notices it often.

He also doesn't like the smell of cigars, perfume, or other made-up smells.

(It's not like he's openly disgusted by it, so I don't find it offensive.)

(He's kind of like that.)

Cat: "Meow."

Mai: "Good morning, black (cat) Kicho. How are you today?"

Cat: "Meow."

(Hehe, he recognizes me.)

(Maybe he remembers my smell.)

I couldn't help but smile at the black cat who approached me and sniffed around.

(Come to think of it, I've heard that cats have a keener sense of smell than humans.)

(Kicho is a bit cat-like, isn't he?)

Maybe this is why I started calling every cat I saw Kicho.

(I can't say this to him, though.)

Thinking of this, I lovingly stroked its round head.

Kicho: "Is there anything you're not telling me?"

Mai: "Huh?"

A few days later, during our break, he suddenly asked me this.

I was so shocked that I almost dropped the teacup in my hand, but...

(If I show it in my face, he'll know.)

I straighten myself up, trying to stay calm and composed.

Mai: "What do you mean?"

Kicho: "I received a report from my subordinates."

Kicho: “They heard you saying, Kicho, but when they went to check on you, they saw no one was there.”

Kicho: “My subordinates said it looked suspicious that you were talking to yourself.”

(I can’t believe they saw me. They probably think I’m crazy.)

Kicho: “Mai. I’ll help you if you need anything.”

Mai: “Kicho...”

My heart skipped a beat when I saw him staring at me gently.

(But I’m a little embarrassed to tell him the truth.)

Mai: “Thank you, but I was just talking to myself. Sorry for worrying you.”

I managed to smile and cover it up, and Kicho dropped the matter.

The next day, as I was strolling around the trading post to get some exercise一

(Ah!)

A black cat jumped down from the roof.

Mai: “Black (cat) Kicho.”

When I called out to him and went to his side as usual, the black cat rolled over and showed me its belly.

(Does he want me to pet him!?)

Its cute gesture shot through my heart.

Mai: “Kicho is so cute.”

I gently stroked him while talking to him in a cat-like voice.

???: “I see.”

Mai: “-----!”

I turned around, and there stood Kicho.

(He caught me!)

He looked at me and the cat alternately and chuckled.

Kicho: "So that's what Kicho is."

Mai: "U-Um...this is..."

I was so flustered that I couldn't come up with an excuse, and the black cat got up with a whimper and quickly left the scene.

Then he walked over to my side.

Kicho: "If you miss me, just say it honestly."

Mai: "Huh?"

Kicho: "I wouldn't walk away from you like that, even if you touched me that much."

He gently hugged me and looked into my blushing face.

(Ugh...)

Urged by the look in his eyes, I had no choice but to come clean.

Mai: "I just thought you looked like a cat."

Kicho: "A cat?"

Mai: "Yes. It's not just that black cat."

Mai: "Every cat I see in town reminds me of you."

Kicho: "I see."

He squinted in satisfaction.

Mai: "Nnn..."

He kissed me and whispered as he parted his lips slightly.

Kicho: "If you do such cute things because of your feelings, what would happen if I satisfy you even more?"

Mai: "I-I don't know."

Kicho: "I see. Then let's give it a try."

He smiled at me and licked my lips slightly.

Mai: "Ah...mnn..."

I let out a gasp, and his tongue slipped through the opening, causing the heat to intertwine with my tongue.

(It feels so fluffy.)

As he put his hand on my ear, I felt like I could understand why cats purr when being petted.

I surrendered myself to the deep kisses he was repeatedly giving me.

(I can't stand up anymore.)

Mai: "Ah..."

Kicho: "You're as light as a cat."

He picked me up and started walking into the trading post.

Kicho: "We'll continue this in my room."

Mai: "Okay."

The words he whispered to me almost knocked my heart out.

Event Masterlist

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen kicho #ikesen kichou #ikesen jp #ikesen #cybird #ikesen translations

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yourlocaldisneyvillain · 11 months

Text

tw: trauma, sexual assault

personal poetry in prose. do not recommend reading, honestly. will delete later!

the time has passed, you ran out of it. you will never be 17 again (thank god thank god thank god, i say as i mourn the fact i will never be 17 again).

i would do anything to go back and rewrite the past, make her love me somehow, make them all care. i cared, i cared, i cared, and no one cared quite as much as i — now i’m broken and there are those who care more than i do. they spill their soul to me, and i watch them as cold indifference and pity overwhelm me. i say generic words to them, like they once said to me. they bleed and i watch. i know i cannot help. no one helped me, and i shattered like glass. i drag the glass to each new day and i stab myself on the shards. i brush my teeth and step on a broken piece. the broken piece is my own leg. i smile and i drink pear-flavoured beer and i say words of love i never quite mean, and i work, work, work so i don’t fall behind again (i’m so tired). the one thing i couldn’t stand is to be a nobody. i must make something of myself and then, maybe, the void will not be so vast and dark.

i think about the smell of her scarf. i’ve never loved cigarettes more than when she smoked. i remember the little hairs on her neck and jaw and her little beauty marks. i was never happier then when i held her in my arms — in that moment in time, frozen forever for me to have, she is peacefully asleep on my shoulder as the bus drives on, and i feel at home. that day, she cried about a boy and i told her he wasn’t worthy of her — he wasn’t. i guess i wasn’t either.

i never had the ones i truly wanted — and i fully had the ones i didn’t truly want. i can have anybody, except the woman i call home. i am doomed to yearn. i remember her fingers on my back, and i wonder how it would feel if my first time was a loving one, instead of someone’s perverse hunger and the sinking feeling of realising i didn’t shave while prying hands touched me and i let out the saddest sounds i ever sang. there were a girl’s things in his room. i never judged her, i just wondered how she could bring herself to do it. i wore a mint green bra with white dots (it took me years to throw it away). before that, the very first time, i had a long, colorful skirt and a stomachache for weeks. i couldn’t eat. my mother told me calls from abroad are expensive.

my mother wanted me to buy a prom dress, and i wanted to die. can i touch there, he asks? yes, i say, because why would you ask if you already did? i am on all fours on the bed and i breathe. i wonder if i’m imagining his hands because they don’t feel real. my dad asks if i’m on drugs after new year’s. i’m not, i’m just sinking, and the void is all-consuming. the years are muddled. she came to my place. she was pretty while she smoked. her hair was black as night, my very own morticia addams, like in the movies. except she was never quite mine. i was in sweden and she told me she missed me. when i returned, she barely looked at me. i told her about don giovanni. the waitress loved it. we went on a trip. the years are muddled.

i freeze while everybody watches and he laughs. did you enjoy it that much, he asks and i have no words. he teases me when i put makeup on. when i ask an older girl if he’s the like that with her, she tells me i’m overreacting. i never mention it again. he’s my ticket away from the hell i’m in, and i don’t dare turn away. he talks to me about orgasms. i am silent. he is angry with me, and he tells me i am no longer a child, i am a woman (i’m 16, i’m 16, i’m 16 and i want to die).

my ticket away from hell is gone. i find another one. he is better, but worse, because he’s always in my house. i didn’t ask for him. i didn’t want it. and then, after three years of him convincing me i want it, i don’t know anymore — i did show him the drawings. does it matter what i want? what does it mean to want? i have always wanted, and i never had what i so craved. i was the object of desire, but never allowed to desire — my desire is futile. what i desire, i eat and swallow and chew on, i don’t let it spill out of my treacherous mouth. she never knew i loved her. i swallow my love and desire whole and it sits in my stomach and it makes me ill. i throw up and i drink ginger tea that doesn’t help the constant nausea. i listen as he instructs me how to fuck myself.

i scream in my own personal hell. the sun lights chopin’s heroic polonaise, a triumphant cry of victory. i leave. i scream long after they’re all gone.

we never had those cheese fries and i never saw the brooklyn bridge. i feel robbed of my youth. i still crave, i still yearn.

i will never be 17 again.

#personal #just thought the words were nicely put together #delete later #do not recommend reading honestly esp if you don't have a strong stomach #i have ben going THROUGH it this exam season man ahhaha

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katsukisday · 2 years

Text

Sparks- Xiao

Pairings: soldier!Xiao x Princess!reader

Au: royal(?)!Au

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint

Summary: in which Xiao thought he’s not cut for happiness, until a certain stubborn princess proves him wrong

Warnings: Mentions of war, potential social isolation, unexpected pregnancy, bombs, intoxicating gases, unmentioned nudity if you squint

W.C: 2.6k

A/n: I’ve had this idea setting on my desk since last DECEMBER so I thought I’d share <33 also not proof read please lmk abt any mistakes

Likes and reblogs are appreciated.

The smoke was alerting.

Unlike the carbon disulfide, which he loathed more than one should, it was clear of any color and had a rather pleasant odor to it.

The green haired male was so, so close to making a sprint for safety, to save himself from yet another week of no sleep, illness, and migraines. But soon he recalls what the head general, the kind brunette known as Zhongli, fed his ears a million times before they sent him into this place: “friend, not foe.”

The male took a deep breath; friend, not foe.

The process went agonizingly slow. They told Xiao they’ll get him ready for what they referred to as a ‘ball’. He wasn’t really sure what it was but his best guess was that some ball shaped food was awaiting him, although he could not process why he need to get dressed to meet food.

The male was well aware he wasn’t exactly in the best state before he came in, but why was rubbing his feet necessary if they were going to throw a pair of boots on them anyway? He couldn’t make since of the use of all the powders and sticky liquids they were rubbing on his skin only to wash off a few moments later? It was a waste of the sweet-scented material in Xiao’s opinion. But he wasn’t here to imply his thoughts on these foreign items, that’s not his role and he will not be the man who meddles in other people’s jobs. Even on the rare occasions when he was asked which smell he preferred or if it was ‘too much’ Xiao remained silent; he will not speak unless his head general demands it. It’s always been this way.

After a tantrum of colors, the women dressing the male seemed pleased with the uncomfortable clothing they put him in.

Soon, he’s put in front of the reflective glass and he could barely contain his excitement over the sight before him. Xiao could not believe his eyes as a giddy grin made its way into the muscles of his cheeks. Sure, he’s seen himself in mirrors before, but he wouldn’t have recognized himself right now if it weren’t for the purple mark on his forehead and the peculiar shade of his hair.

Before he could express his gratitude towards the women who dressed him a few knocks came from the door, causing on of them to rush to it and open it with a few graceful moves.

The head general’s outfit was in fact very different from what Xiao was wearing, catching the latter’s interest; they’ve always worn similar uniforms with very few and specific design dissimilarities, so seeing Zhongli and himself dressed so differently is quite something.

Although Xiao would never bring it up, he was sure that the older man was plenty easier to recognize than himself, that with Zhongli always seeming to invest a lot of care into his appearance – to set a good example, Xiao presumed.

“Look at you,” the brunette started, his deep stern voice filling the room, “You look so clean and nice.” “Thank you, General Lapis,” the younger male acquires, dipping his head gratefully. “So do you, sir.”

The young women couldn’t help their expressions, either amused or surprised at Xiao’s ignorance and blatancy, as Zhongli let out a light chuckle.

“Thank you, Xiao, I’m glad you think so,” he smiled at the now confused boy. “Shall we get going?” “At your command, sir,” the forehead tatted male brushed the confusion off rather quickly. If not spoken about it does not matter, as he should not question the head general’s actions.

---

On their way to the grand hall the amber eyed general explained what a ball actually is, previously presuming Xiao would’ve been confused of it. He also Explained to him why it was held and how special he is, which was the reason he was invited to an event of such.

To be quite fair, Zhongli great respect towards the younger male, formerly known as Atlaus. He was born on the battlefield, given birth to by a female soldier who was foolish enough to never inform the heads about her pregnancy. She was supposed to be discharged with her baby but they were on foreign land and cargo wasn’t rare but impossible. And so, the green haired male, now referred to as Xiao, was raised on the frontline of battle, survived up till now by some miracle, and hadn’t known anything but it.

Before long, they stood by the hall’s enormous entrance. The door was flung by soldiers left and right. But of course it was, the life-sized hall behind the giant gates possibly holds the most important lives to grace the land of the living.

General Lapis didn’t have to ask, as the guards immediately recognized him and two of them gracefully walked to the door and pushed it open in practiced motion. If he didn’t know better, Xiao would’ve thought these men were automated just like the bombs he’s seen and used on the battlefield.

The sight before him was so beyond fascinating he could swear his jaw hit the floor. It was – his limited vocabulary could never form a sentence that described it fairly. Is this what they called heaven? Xiao doesn’t really recall dying but maybe this was his ‘oasis’ after walking in the desert for days on end.

He loved metaphors.

His nose tickled with mixed scents, not a single one unpleasant. The rainbow of colors, be it people, clothing, or visuals, was all sight pleasing; as if his eyes were getting cleansed after all the gruesome things he’s seen in the war.

“Enjoy this,” Zhongli pats the arm-tatted male. “It’s to celebrate you.”

Xiao’s train of thought gets cut off, glancing at Rex Lapis and back at the heaven, hesitant and distracted, stiffly nodding.

“Wh-what’re your commands, sir?” The shorter asks, unable to take his eyes off the colors that he couldn’t understand. The brunette by his side chuckles lightly; even though Xiao no longer works under him, he can’t change his habit. “I command you to do anything you please tonight; enjoy everything to the fullest.”

The words General Lapis said were more fascinating and foreign to Xiao then the ball itself. He turns to the older male, golden eyes staring at him in awe with a smile tugging at his lips, “Yes sir. Thank you, sir.”

He smiles contently as he pats Xiao’s back. “You earned it.”

Only then does the male in the brown suit, meant to cover up his burnt arms, leave Xiao's side; the absence of his worth present to take his place.

The short man tries to wander, glaring daggers at every mortal soul the dares glance his way. Xiao has always been left out, because he grew up among only adults and once he became a unit captain he wasn’t approached thanks to the scary aura that was him. He never had to socialize and so the amount of people staring and whispering was not but a bother to him, making him wish they’d go back to their business and not notice him like when he was staring at them from the entrance, little toys who had no idea of any but their own existence.

The male with the forehead mark successfully made his way through the gatherings, careful to avoid any uncalled-for contact whatsoever. Sooner than later, he finds himself standing by a long, long table covered with a thin, white cloth and all sorts of edible goods.

To Xiao this valued more than the whole of the ball, starting by the grand hall it was held in down to the people celebrating something they were utterly ignorant of. Food wouldn’t bother him. No, it won’t judge or whisper about him, plaguing his mind with self-doubt and other dark, implacable thoughts in the process. This –the mercy and silence of food – was all he could ask for at the moment.

“I personally recommend Almond Tofu.”

He practically jumps. One second, he was staring at the food and the next a female was right next to him, her warmth evidence of her assault of his personal space.

“Oh- sorry- was that too close?” the female before him chuckles, rubbing the back of her neck in an awkward manner. “It’s a habit, I apologize.”

Xiao does not speak to her, instead opting for ignoring her and turning back to the food. He may seem collected and calm, but the male was genuinely terrified of the girl.

He had no idea how his defense got walked through. He, the Xiao of unit 1, the man who led four units at the age of thirteen, who would sense if a person was fake sleeping by their shoulders, had this girl barge into his personal space without him noticing.

He wanted to blame it on the loud ball where anything, down to the thoughts in his own head, was muffled and almost inaudible, but Xiao knew he couldn’t. He killed seven men sneaking up on him not only during an active battle but also in a bomb zone. How could an average, clearly spoiled to the core female trick his guard and get so, so close? She could’ve killed him and he wouldn’t know until the blade was out his chest.

“Hey- don’t ignore me!” the latter grumbles, leaning a fist on the table to support herself. “I’m trying to converse with you, okay?”

“Which one’s the Almond Tofun?” He raises one of his oddly shaped eyebrows, not sparing the female in a sparkling dress a glance. He wasn’t interested in the food she mentioned all that much, but he thought that maybe having a conversation where the other side isn’t tense and scared of him isn’t a bad idea.

“Tofu,” she corrected with a slight snicker, grinning at the pale boy. “It’s this one.” Her jeweled finger pointed at a certain plate with white cubes on it. He would’ve thought it to be ice if it wasn’t for the temperature. “Hold up, I’ll serve you some.”

Xiao watches carefully as the female reaches for a round empty plate and serves a few pieces of the gelatinous cubes, adding what he assumes is a fork on the plate and then directs it toward him. He observed every switch of her fingers for any sign of threat but returned empty-handed. He does not know this strange female and couldn’t assume her intentions.

Then it occurred to him.

Friend, not foe.

General Lapis’s words crossed the arm-tatted male’s mind. He had complete faith in him and knew full well he wouldn’t bring Xiao somewhere threatening both unarmed and without any instructions whatsoever.

“Yo, forehead tattoo, my hand is starting to hurt,” Y/n grunts, pushing the plate further until it almost came into contact with his chest.

Xiao looked at the insistent female once in distrust, then at the peculiar dessert.

Friend, not foe.

Reluctantly, he pulls the plate out of her fingers, taking a step back to maintain a safe distance between the two.

“Enjoy! Everything the cook here makes is delicious. Don’t eat too much, though, so you get to try as much of it as you could.”

(a few hours later)

“And then he was like- ‘I don't know you’-” the female mimics with a funny face, earning herself a chuckle from the male. “Like hello? Do you think I’m that stupid?” “How bright of him,” Xiao chuckled. “If I were you, I’d just leave.”

For a very long while, Xiao watched the other soldiers talking and laughing together. He admits he hasn’t made any sort of effort in becoming close with any of them, he didn’t know what he was missing out on and so he didn’t long for it. But in reality, sometimes he wished they’d invite hi, when they all sat long at nights. He didn’t know what about him made them not want to approach him, seeing they never interacted with him to judge. It was like that for so long he got to the point of accepting the doom he lived in, convincing himself he wasn’t made for such.

But the pleasant warmth that filled his chest proved his theory wrong, and the girl sitting beside him telling him tales he wouldn’t’ve believed about his previous head generals proved every person that whispered ‘unapproachable’ and ‘scary’ loud enough so he could hear wrong.

“Tell me about yourself, Xiao,” the female suddenly suggests, looking at the male expectantly. “I only heard rumors but honestly none of it seemed to match what I saw of you today.”

Xiao looked at her, some of her features inaccessible to eyesight because the moon wasn’t bright and they chose to sit outside, away from the hustle of the ball. Her interest in knowing more about him and approaching him despite what she’s heard of him in rumors gave him a weird feeling.

He doesn’t recall if there were any other symptoms, but his heart slightly sped up and he felt his face heat up, too. According to what little he read it’s a case called being ‘flustered’.

He then feels weird sparks in his stomach. Like little, ticklish explosions in his guts. He had to go see a doctor because he doesn’t know how to cure this flustered illness thing by himself. So, just in case it’s contagious, he lays a hand over his mouth and nose, not wanting to infect the girl he has grown fond of.

Xiao thought he wasn’t cut for happiness and would never have the sort of connection even the old generals seemed to have, but the sparks lighting his stomach tonight proved it different.

#Genshin #genshin impact #xiao #xiao genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact x reader fluff #genshin x reader fluff #genshin impact xiao #xiao genshin x reader

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houseofperfecttaste · 1 year

Text

Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun(3)

WARNINGS: TEEN WOLF MOVIE SPOILERS

You guys were able to heal Derek thankfully and you were sitting next to him as he slept to make sure he stayed all right. Scott went to find Eli while Malia and Parrish left to go find Lydia. You placed a cold compress on Dereks' head and slumped in your seat rubbing your head. "You okay?" Melissa asked sitting next to you and placing her hand on your back rubbing small circles. "Good as I can be. I thought all of this shit was done. That life would be normal." You sighed giving her a small glance as she breathed in and looked at Derek.

"Well, you and Scott are both twin true alphas so none of this shit is ever going to be done. Neither of your lives will ever be normal again." You nodded knowing she was right and that as bad as you didn't want it, there would always be something after you and Scott. "How's Outer Banks?" You smiled at her question your mind wandering to Rafe. "It's great. Kie and her friends welcomed me and I uh met someone." You blushed playing with your hair. Your mom was shocked when hearing that because she knew how heartbroken you were after Isaac, she never thought you would recover.

"Oh really what's his name, what's he like?" She teased nudging you. "His name's Rafe, he's the type where to everyone else he's a big tough bad guy but to me, he's the sweetest most caring, protective, loving guy ever. He loves me and it's very evident." Melissa felt her heart warm when seeing the way your eyes lit up when you talked about him. "Oh, and he's very hot." You both laughed and you deserved the best and she knew that you finally had it. "Does he know?" "No." You shook your head biting your lip and Derek started grunting and waking up. "Hey, hey take it slow." You soothed getting him some water as he sat up.

Eli and Stilinski walked through the door Derek springing to his feet wrapping his son in his arms. "Dad," Eli said his voice shaky as he peered behind his dad to see black smoke emerging into the house. You and Derek stepped in front of Eli starting to fight the Onis as Stilinski was trying to shoot them but the bullets did nothing. Soon enough, everyone was taken and you and Eli ran downstairs to get away but the Oni came down with you. You roared at them but Eli pushed you to the side looking at you with his eyes glowing and fangs out. The Oni rammed his sword into Eli making you scream out for him while you watched him vanish. You pulled the curtains open revealing the sunlight and making them disappear.

Your chest was heaving and you called Scott hoping he was okay and you started panicking when he didn't answer. So you called him again. And again. And again but there was nothing. You went to the auto-body shop where he was heading and followed his scent from there heading into the woods. You were running up heading towards the smell of Scotts' blood. You froze in your tracks when seeing the familiar group that was supposed to be in Outer Banks. 'Why the actual fuck were they here?' You thought and you knew they saw you and there was no hiding from them. What the hell were you going to say? "Y/N!" Rafe ran toward you wrapping you up in his arms thankful and relieved you were alive and okay.

"What are you guys doing here?" "Doing some hiking." JJ lied and you rolled your eyes knowing none of them were hikers except for Kie maybe. "What are you doing in Beacon Hills?" You questioned and they all went silent looking at each other and waiting for someone to speak up. "When you were on the phone with Scott I was about to knock on your door and I heard you talking and I listened in. I heard you say you would get killed." Kie sheepishly admitted and you took a sharp breath not knowing how you can get yourself out of this one. Before anyone could say anything you spoke. "Look guys, you can't be here it's not safe. I'll be okay I promise. Please just go home and I'll see you there and I'll explain everything later." They all shook their head and scoffed.

"Hell no we're not leaving." Rafe intervened making you sigh. "We can help, we're not going to risk never seeing you again." Sarah said. "I love you guys but you can't help. It's something way more than you guys have ever dealt with." "Just let us help." Rafe grabbed your hand and you shook your head again not knowing how you would convince them to leave. "No! And that's final. Go back to wherever you're staying and I'll be over tonight and explain everything. Now go." You snapped and your tone was stern and your face showed that you weren't playing. They all reluctantly agreed hugging you and whispering to be safe and that they better see you later. Rafe placed his large hands on the sides of your face staring into your eyes savoring your image like he was going to lose you.

"Promise me you'll come back home to me." He whispered against your lips his forehead resting against yours. "I promise baby. Trust me you don't need to worry about me." "It's my job to worry about you. You're my girl." Rafe's words always make you blush and you placed your hands on his waist going on your tippy toes and pressing your lips to his. "I love you so much, Rafe. I will see you soon. Go, baby." He kissed you again his hands slowly letting go of yours as he walked away. When they were out of sight you kept following the trail you were on and you found your mom, Peter, and Argent instead of Scott.

"That was weird. What do you think she's doing in the woods alone?"John B ran his hand through his hair. "We'll find out tonight." Kiara sighed scared for her cousins wanting to help but knowing to stay out of it seeing how mad it made you. They all kept talking their movements slowing when hearing a strange noise. "What the fuck is that?" Rafe and JJ pulled out their guns looking around their fingers on the trigger. The Oni fell from the sky inching forward their swords over their shoulder as Rafe and JJ emptied their clips into the figures their breathing increasing in panic when the bullets weren't working. In a blink of an eye, the Oni stabbed their swords through them and the Pogues and Rafe vanished into thin air.

You made it to the college stadium and you, Melissa, Argent, and Peter split up to find Scott and Allison. After about searching for about twenty minutes you all group together except for Peter. "Peter stop!" You and Argent yelled out running up the stairs and seeing Peter holding his claws against Allisons' throat. "Where's my son?" Melissa asked harshly thinking she did something to him. "He's on the field, he's playing the game." Allison breathed out as Peter chuckled. "That most certainly sounds like your son. But as for you daughter." Peter had an evil grin on his face as he looked down at Allison ready to rip his claws across her throat. "I forgot to tell you something Peter, the arrow isn't the only thing left behind." Argent threw a dagger at Peter which he caught the blade sinking into his skin. "Wolfsbane." He growls into her ear dropping the blade and Allison elbowed him escaping his grasp.

Black smoke crept closer to you guys and you and Allison walked into it being brought into the Nogitsunes' world. "Where are we?" Allison asked looking around. "We're in his world," Scott said being thrown into the illusion at the same time with Eli. "Stay behind us." You whispered to the young one standing to move in front of him. You continued looking around your heart dropping when seeing a sight that you were scared of. The Pogues and Rafe tied up to each trunk of the trees. "Please tell me that isn't Kie." Scott sounded desperate and you gave him a look confirming his suspicions and you sighed knowing you had to expose your secret sooner than you planned in order to save them.

You and Scott moved to walk towards where they were tied up but you heard the familiar eerie clicking followed by the eerie screeching. The Oni appeared in front of you in a fight stance. "I've killed Oni before," Allison said pulling her bow and arrows out and having them at her side. "Let's kill some more." You shrugged running towards the Oni with your claws out.

You and Scott had your backs together working together to fight the Oni making your way toward your cousin and your friends and boyfriend were being held until you and Scott were both knocked onto your asses. The Oni stood over you their sword over their head ready to come down and strike you. You rolled away kicking the sword out of his hands grabbing it and running to help Allison who was surrounded by the Oni. Suddenly scream waves were sent through sending the Oni flying and those who could, covered their ears, Lydias wails piercing everyone's ears. Allison stood with her back to you guys for a minute whispering that she remembered everything but the happy moment fell short when the Nogitsune appeared.

"We're not done yet. The game is mine." You and Scott turned to see him holding Eli against him his claws threatening to rip out the young Hale's throat. "Take us, let the others go." The Nogitstune grunted his head cocking to the side. "All the lives here belong to me." He growled. "There's don't. They've never been a part of this. You kill me you let them go." You signaled to the Pogues and Rafe knowing that the Nogitstune had no reason for them. "All you need is us," Scott added and Derek shook his head trying to get out of the restraints. "Scott, Y/N don't do this," Derek said a frown on his face. "Allison kills me, I die in her arms just like she died in mine. That's the move, isn't it?" Scott questioned letting the Nogistune know we've figured out his move. "I die this time instead of Allison, that's the divine move for me right?" You snarled as the Nogitstune hissed. "I've already won."

"You lose until we're off the board! And we're still standing." Your voice boomed. "And we're still the alphas," Scott added and the group looked at each eyes wide as they all knew that term related to werewolves but there was no way you were a werewolf. It was impossible. Right? Although, it would explain some things. They watched with wide eyes their hearts beating out of their chest. "An arrow to the heart to save everyone else? The rest of the players on the board go free. He moved his hand away from Eli's throat and made the bow and arrow move into Allisons' hand. You and Scott turn to face her reality kicking in and preparing to die. You and Scott both nodded to Allison telling her it was okay.

"Y/N! No!" Rafe yelled out choked with tears and the Nogitsune was quick to shut him up rope moving to cover their mouths. You turned to face your boyfriend, cousin, and friends saying "I love you, it'll be okay." You turned back to face Allison who was crying and saying she couldn't do it. "Allison, please. Please don't let us watch our friends and family die." Scott had a mischievous look in his eyes making Allison think he had a trick up his sleeve so she grabbed an arrow from her back placing it into the bow. She exhaled slowly and you and Scott got ready for the impact your heart breaking at the sounds of your friends and Rafes muffled screams and cries.

You watched as Allison shot an arrow into your brother's heart and he grunted and hunched over before looking up just in time to see an arrow being shot into your heart. You groaned the left side of your shoulder moving back from the impact of the arrow. Allison shot two more into both of you making you collapse on the ground breathing staggered as more blood stained your shirts. You looked over at Rafe to see tears streaming down his face as he called out for you and struggling against the ropes so hard that he was hunched over them trying to get to you but it was no use. 'I love you' you mouthed to him and he sobbed through his gag not being able to believe he was watching the love of his life die in front of him and he couldn't help or save you. He wanted to be able to hold you one last time.

Allison had Scotts' head resting on her left leg as yours was on her right and you and Scott looked up at the Nogitsune your hands holding below your wounds. "The wolves howl to signal their position... to the rest of the pack. Tell me McCalls what is the sound of a wolf who is ready to die?" He growled his teeth showing. "We'd tell you but we're not ready to die." You and your brother looked down at the arrows in your chest and the arrows were engulfed in flames slowly deteriorating until they were completely gone and the wound was healed. Rafes cries slowly stopped when seeing you healing his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes squinting to make sure he was seeing it right, he started smiling when seeing you were okay even though he had no idea how you were but he wasn't complaining.

You and Scott stood up smirking and raising an eyebrow at the Nogitsune who was shocked that both of you beat his divine move. "Foxfire." He snarled as the fox spirit left both of you and went back into Hikari. Allison shot an arrow into the Nogitsunes head making him scream and calling the Oni. When you turned around to face them you were met with the sight of Parrish burning through the barrier allowing him, Malia, Argent, Peter, and Melissa to come through. Argent shot one with a silver bullet as Melissa had the crossbow and Peter had blades. Eli and Derek worked on cutting the bonds off of everyone tied to the old temple while you cut the ropes for Rafe and the Pogues. "Long story short I'm an alpha werewolf and this isn't done yet stay back." You rushed leaving all of them stunned with their jaws open and you ran back to Scotts side watching the Nogitsune walk towards both of you and the rest of the pack behind you both.

"Do you remember the gift you gave me Scott? The bite of an alpha, power of a werewolf?" The Nogitsune grew and transformed into a werewolf making everyone raise their silver ready to shoot. "Nice one Scott." You sassed and he glared at you his claws out and out ready to fight. He roared loudly his eyes glowing green and you and Scott snarled and got down half-transformed. They were baffled as they watched your ears become bigger and pointy, fangs replacing your teeth, red eyes replacing your hazel ones. You, Derek, and Scott ran toward the Nogitsune being transferred to another illusion. The Nogitsune snuck up on each of you clawing you but disappearing when you went to look at him. He was in each illusion attacking each one of you but he was too quick for you guys. "We can't fight him alone, he's too strong." "Ya think McCall? I'm getting my ass kicked over here." Being around JJ and John B for the past five years has definitely increased your sarcasm and sassiness. "Y/N please shut the fuck up." Scott was frustrated and you were making it worse.

"We have to catch him," Derek said. "You can't catch me." The Nogitsunes voice boomed over each illusion impossible to tell where he was. "You can't kill me! You can't even find me." He chuckled making you guys on high alert checking your back constantly. "You're right. We can't find you but we can find each other." Scott said and you all roared and you turned to see the Nogitsune but you blocked his attack and Derek and Scott came running in holding him back as each of you took a hit and brought him back into the original illusion. You were on the Nemeton you and Scott holding his arms back while Parrish helped to try to make time for you two to move so he could light the Nogitsune up. "You guys are the alphas he's part of your pack now." Derek said looking at Eli and with that Derek pushed both of you off causing you to fall and roll on the ground.

"Derek!" You yelled scrambling to your feet but it was no use Derek was already lit on fire with the Nogitsune. Scott held you back as you watched Derek and the Nogistune die blood-curdling screams leaving your mouth. Everyone was in disbelief watching the scene unfold never expecting Derek to die. You stared in disbelief at the Nemeton only seeing Parrish. In the blink of an eye, you all appeared on the lacrosse field. Rafe and everyone else ran over to you engulfing you in a hug sobs leaving their mouths as you held all of them as tight as you could. When you broke away Kiara walked over to Melissa hugging her as you and Rafe kissed passionately and hugged not worrying about what just happened.

Scott brought Eli over and you hugged him letting him cry into your shoulder. "I'm so sorry Eli, it should've been me." You whispered into his ear feeling the guilt wash over you, you should've seen it coming but he shook his head pulling away. "No, it shouldn't have." His eyes were red and glossy and Scott slung an arm over his shoulder as we started walking back to the cars. During the walk, you explained everything to the group introducing them to everyone and explaining what everyone was in terms of supernatural powers. You answered all of their questions on the ride back to your old house. You sat there in a weird awkward silence that was also oddly comfortable. "So you're a werewolf?" JJ asked. "Yes." You chuckled as he pursed his lips and nodded. "And an alpha," Pope added. "Yes." "How did you manage to keep this secret for so long?" Cleo asked making you smile at how that was her only question. "Been hiding it for fourteen years, gotten pretty good at it." You shrugged as they all nodded still in shock.

"Are you guys scared of me?" You were nervous about the answer but your nerves were eased when they answered quickly. "Not at all." "No." "Nope." "Nah that's dope as fuck." JJ said as the two other boys agreed. You looked at Rafe chewing on your bottom lip. "I could never be scared of you sweetheart. Like JJ said it's dope as fuck." He chuckled pulling your face close to his and kissing you. You smiled to yourself knowing that none of them were scared of you and thought it was cool. You guys got out of the car heading into your old house standing around thinking about Derek. After a few moments, everyone started telling stories about him and remembering how he saved everyone's asses and was the bravest person you've ever met.

You all ended up chatting after the stories and you were in a group talking with Rafe and Scott, Scott being in protective brother mode. You saw your mom in the kitchen grabbing a drink and you walked in grabbing a cookie from the cookie jar. "So that's Rafe?" She questioned her head motioning over to him. You glanced behind you to see Rafe and Scott getting along and Scott showing him his eyes. You giggled knowing Rafe asked him. "Yeah." You smiled placing the cookie in your mouth. "You were right, he's a looker." You giggled at her words as you both watched your boyfriend and brother bonding.

You guys stayed for a few more days since you wanted to be there to attend Dereks' memorial and be there for Eli and spend more time with Allison. Everyone met you guys at the little landing strip where the plane was waiting. "I love you, be safe," Scott said embracing you. "I love you too, and you be safe, keep Allison safe." You whispered the last part in his ear. "Trust me I will." You both smiled as you pulled away and looked at Allison tears in both of your eyes. "I'm so happy you're back. Come visit or I'll visit." You guys laughed as she pulled you into a hug. "I love you." "I love you too Al, I'll text you soon." You hugged everyone else by and everyone also said bye to Rafe and the Pogues making you smile and your heart warm being able to combine both of your worlds.

"For god's sake please be safe." Melissa wrapped you in a hug kissing the side of your head as you promised you would. "Can I expect grandchildren anytime soon?" Your mom questioned randomly making your mouth drop in astonishment. "Mom!" You looked around to make sure no one heard. "What? I'm just curious!" She put her hands up in defense. "Go ask Scott." You laughed as Scott looked over at you guys with an eyebrow raised. "I love you, Mom." "I love you too honey." You walked away heading up the stairs of the plane turning around and waving to everyone as the door closed. You moved to sit next to Rafe his arm wrapping around your shoulder and letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

"Rafe?" "Yes, baby?" He asked his finger trailing up and down your thigh. "Do you love me any less?" He sat up in the chair turning to look at you and grabbed your hands. "No. I love you even more if that's even possible. Am I in shock? Hell yeah. Am I scared or freaked out? Absolutely not. You showed us you're one of the good ones. You and your brother risked your lives to save everyone. Not a lot of people would do that." He moved the hair out of your face kissing your forehead then your nose then your mouth. "I fucking love you, Y/N McCall." "I love you even more Rafe Cameron."

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