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marvelsimp · 3 years

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THE NEW KID: Landing

THE NEW KID MASTERLIST Ch. 3

Genre: Fluff Pairing: Peter x Lesbian!reader (Platonic duh), Avengers & Reader Warnings: swearing, Description: Reader has just joined the Avengers so they decide to throw her a birthday party. Reader’s Powers: Healing, telepathy, and empath. Word Count: 2,737

“Peter! You got me into the avengers!” you scream whacking your best friend with a pillow.

“You’re welcome!” he laughs shielding his face from oncoming attacks. You end up tackling him causing him to land on his bed. “Why are you attacking me? This is so RUDE!”

“HAHA! Too bad.”

“STOP. STOP” he laughs causing you to stop almost instantly. He sits up and looks at the clock, it reads ‘3:57’. “How about we go back down to the game floor we can play some more laser tag or mess around with the VR stuff?”

“Sure but didn’t you say earlier that you wanted to show me the lab?”

“I forgot about that!” he stood up and reached his hand out to help you get up, you accept. Peter leads you out of his room at Avenger’s Tower to go to the elevator then up to the lab. “So, this is it!” he says taking you up some stairs.

The space is huge, where you just entered from is where the Quinjet lands, where the med lab is, and where the avengers keep their gear for missions. As you walk up the stairs you see several platforms and ‘bridges.’ To your right you see a platform full of tools and stations cluttered with different projects.

“Most of its taken up by Mr. Stark,” Peter explains, “He’s constantly working on upgrading and improving all of our suits.” He leads you towards the back of the area, “This is where I usually work. I’m usually the one to work on my suit, especially during breaks. I’m trying to figure out a way to improve the capacity of my web-shooters.”

You nod, Pete lets you look at his formulas and blueprints. You give him a handful of suggestions and ask him a few questions. He listens intently to each suggestion and question. He then has a quick ‘aha’ moment and writes a few things down for later. You can’t believe that you now get to help him with this stuff in person.

“Oh,” he says suddenly. He points to an empty part of the lab next to him. “This is your station, you can put anything there and use any of the tools, under supervision. Mr. Stark isn’t a big fan of us being up here without him or Dr. Banner but he made an exception for today.”

“Wait… slow down.”

Peter looks up at you, he’s slightly confused.

“I get to work up here, in the Avenger’s lab?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “What did you not understand about the part that you’re an Avenger now?”

“I don’t know… I guess that it just didn’t click.” You look around the space trying to figure out what you’ll do. You then remember some of the old projects that you had to scrap because you didn’t the resources, you’ll probably have to start from scratch… wait your stuff is here. You let out a gasp and your eyes get a little wider. You almost run out to get your old blueprints but Peter grabs your wrists.

“Y/n, slow down. Where are you going?”

“Sorry, I got ahead of myself. I just remembered that I have my old blueprints still and that I can work on that stuff here.”

He smiles at you, he’s happy you can feel it off of him. That was the first time since you got to New York that you had felt pure joy and he could feel it, too. His smile shrinks a little, “Like I said Mr. Stark doesn’t really like us up here without someone with us.” You nodded in understanding.

“Now let me actually take you to the med lab, I think that Dr. Cho will want to meet you.” He took you back down the stairs and opened the doors to the Med Lab. Dr. Cho was sitting down busy at work looking through some papers and looking at something on the screen in front of her. “Dr. Cho.”

She looked up from her work and looked at Peter then at you. Her eyes grew wide, “Oh, I completely forgot.” She stood up walking over to you and reaching her hand out. You accepted it shaking her hand, “I’m Y/n.”

“Yes,” she smiled, “Stark told me about you and your powers. I’d love to do some testing later once you’re settled.”

“I’d love that too. I’ve done a little bit of testing on my own, but I’d love to learn my limits.”

She nodded, she seemed excited. “I have to get back to my work now, but I will see you later.”

You and Peter exited the lab then went back down to the game floor as you had planned earlier. You both walked down the hallway and entered the game room. In one of the corners was Steve and Bucky, Bucky was hunched over on an old arcade version of Mortal Combat while Steve had his hand on the brunette’s back and he was laughing his ass off at the stern face of the “tinman.” Steve almost instantly turned around when you and peter entered but he couldn’t stop his laughing quite as quickly.

You smiled and waved at them. You turned to Peter, “What do you wanna play?”

“Smash Bros?”

“Minecraft?”

‘You always want to play Minecraft,” he whined.

‘And you always want to play Smash Bros!”

He gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could.

“Fine!” you laughed

“Yes!” Peter quickly set up the game.

“FINISH HIM” you could hear from the old Mortal Combat Bucky was playing.

You took that as your cue, “Do you guys want to join us?”

Steve looked a little surprised, he turned to Bucky waiting for his answer. “Sure, how do you play?” he and Steve walked over and joined you and Peter on the large couch.

“It’s kind of like Mortal Combat.” You went on to explain the game and gave recommendations as to who they should pick.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed after losing to the two super-soldiers who had never even played the game before today.

“Language,” Steve said nonchalantly.

“Sorry” you squeaked out.

Steve’s eyes widened realizing his mistake, he said it out of habit assuming it was Bucky who said it. Bucky let out an earth-shattering laugh. While you were mortified that you had screamed ‘fuck’ in front of some of the Avengers not once but twice in one day. Once Bucky stopped laughing and caught his breath he turned to Peter, “Do you curse this much? I swear I’ve never even heard you say ‘crap.’” He did, just not in front of the avengers. Peter’s whole face had turned red causing Bucky to laugh again.

“Sorry, Y/n,” Steve said over Bucky’s continual laughing.

“What are you saying sorry for?”

“I thought it was Buck who said it so out of habit I said ‘language.’”

You smiled, “You don’t mind me-“

“Of course not.” Steve looked at his watch and then turned to Bucky who had finally stopped laughing, “Buck, maybe it’s time we head up.”

“It was nice playing with you guys,” you smiled.

“Yeah, we’ll have to do it again,” said Bucky.

“You’re an Avenger now, doll. Plenty of game nights.” Steve smiled walking out the door.

“Bye.”

Peter stood up. “Do yooou wanna play in VR?”

“Yes!”

“I know we’ve only been on this for half an hour but do you wanna grab some food?” Peter asked you.

“Umm, sure I could use some food.”

You and Peter walked back to the elevator taking it back up to the communal living space. As the elevator rose you felt the excitement rise not only in Peter but in some people on the floor you were headed to. When the doors opened it was darker than last time then you heard “SURPRISE” being shouted at you from all over the room and the lights turned back on. You jumped back a little then erupted into giggles. Directly in front of you were Ned, MJ, and May. While the Avengers were spread around the room, which included some of those that weren’t at lunch. There was a large banner on the wall that read “Happy 17th Birthday, Y/n!” There were streamers and balloons everywhere, along with some confetti that was spread along the ground. “Happy Birthday!” Ned, MJ, and May said in unison all grouping together for a group hug that caused you to giggle once more.

“Thank you.”

Peter grabbed your hand and led you over to a group of people near the dining table. There was Pepper Potts with a little girl holding onto her hand, with a man, woman, and a teen girl that was maybe a year or two younger than you and Peter. Pepper was the first to notice the two of you so she turned and smiled at you grabbing the others' attention.

“Hi,” you said looking back over the group.

“I’m Hope,” said the brunette woman reaching her hand out.

You recognized her but couldn’t remember how and as you shook her hand you let out a slight gasp, “Pym?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Sorry, I’m way too invested into sciency things.”

The man next to her let out a chuckle, “I’m Scott.” He gently put his hand onto the teen next to him, “and this is my daughter Cassie.”

She smiled at you, “Hi.”

“Hi.” You were kinda confused as to who these people were, relating to the Avengers.

Peter whispered in your ear, “Think about it,” it was like he was the telepath.

After a second or two of staring at them, you let out, “Oh! You’re Wasp and Ant-man.” Neither one of them were known to the public as that but they were the only masculine and feminine pair, so it made sense. Hope let out a, “Yeah” while Scott just grinned impressed. You finally turned to the woman you were very excited to meet, the CEO of Stark Industries.

“I’m Pepper,” she went for a hug that you accepted. Once you were released from the hug she put her hand on the shoulder of the little girl hiding behind her. “This is Morgan, Tony and I’s daughter.”

You kneeled to be at the girl’s eye level, “Hi, I’m Y/n.”

“Hi,” she said in the quietest voice possible.

You just smiled and stood back up. “It’s an honor to meet you all,” you said turning to each one in the small group, “I can’t believe that I’m even here.”

“Don’t worry,” Scott said, “We’re still getting used to it.” Hope nodded in agreement.

Thank god, that eased your anxieties a little. “Come on, Y/n. There are still more people you gotta meet.” He led you across the room where Tony and Colonel Rhodes, aka War Machine, were talking, Col. Rhodes seemed annoyed. As you walked you passed Bruce, Sam, Bucky, and Steve who waved as you walked by. Bruce stepped forward, “Hey, Y/n!”

You stopped and turned to him.

“Thor wanted to tell you sorry that he couldn’t make it, ya know family business. And he wanted me to tell you ‘Happy Birthday’ from him and Loki.” You smiled and laughed at the “and Loki” part. “Tell them ‘Thank you and that I understand. Oh, and that I wish him luck with his brother’”. Bruce chuckled at your response. He turned and returned to his group while you continued to follow Peter.

“Come on, Tony, another teenager,” you could barely hear Col. Rhodes say.

Tony just saw you two walking towards them, he pointed his head at you which caused Col. Rhodes’ demeanor to change almost instantly.

“Hey,” Tony said smirking at you and Peter, “How you feeling?”

“Uhh, I’m still in stock,” you laugh rubbing your neck.

“Don’t worry, kid, that will wear off.”

“I’m Rhodey by the way.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“I won’t be able to stay for long I was told about this morning. I wasn’t even told there was a possibility of a new Avenger until then either,” he looked annoyingly at Tony.

“Oh, I... don’t worry it’s an honor just meeting you guys.”

“Y/n,” yelled Wanda who was over in the kitchen.

“Well, that’s me,” you commented pointing your thumb towards the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday.”

“Yeah, Happy Birthday, kid.”

You and Peter headed to the kitchen.

“That was kinda tense,” whispered Peter in your ear.

You nod in agreement as you enter. Wanda is standing next to the counter eating some chips with Nat and a man you recognize as Hawkeye. But more importantly, you spot some brownies. You quickly grab one, “Hey.” Wanda smiles and hugs you before you sit on one of the stools.

“Hey, Y/n/n, adjusted yet?” Nat joked.

“Nowhere close,” you breathe out.

Nat elbowed the man standing next to her. “I’m Clint.” He put a fist over the chip bowl.

You let out a chuckle and returned the fist bump. “You’re Hawkeye, right?”

“Yeah,” he laughs at the codename.

You continue to eat the brownie and happily smile at your best friend. He takes a seat next to you and spins your chair as you take the last bite of it. When you look up, there she is Captain Marvel with a gift bag in her hand. You choke on the brownie spitting it out in your hand then throwing it away. Peter looks up in concern at you, you simply point at her and he erupts in laughter. Nat, Clint, and Wanda were first concerned when you choked on your food but are now very confused. You turn around away from the center of the room, putting your face in your hands.

“Y/n, you okay?” Wanda asks.

“Oh my god,” you breathe out.

Clint throws a chip at Peter, “Bug, explain.”

Peter calms down. “Y/n has a hu-“ he corrects himself, “is a huge fan of Carol.”

Nat catches on instantly, the other two don’t but are accepting of the answer.

“Peter!” you say shoving him almost causing him to fall from his chair, but he holds on to the seat. “You’re a fucking psychopath,” you whisper angrily in his ear, “Are you trying to kill me?” He laughs looking behind you, so you turn around and to your surprise, Captain Marvel is right behind you. You open your mouth opens but nothing comes out.

Y/n.exe has stopped working.

Reboot?

Rebooting.

Peter gives you a little shaking you a little. “Earth to Y/n,” he whispers in your ear. Everyone, EVERYONE takes note of this. Some understanding your behavior instantly while others put it down as you just being a “big fan.”

“Hi,” you blush.

“Hi,” Captain Marvel smiles at you.

“I, um, I’m a, I’m Y/n,” you finally stutter out.

“I’m Carol,” she smirks. You put your hand out for her to shake but instead of returning the handshake, she puts the gift bag she was holding into your hand. “Peter told me you were a big fan, so I got you something.”

You smile and hit Peter for telling her. “Thank you,” you barely get out as she walks away.

“Hey!” you hear from across the room. “Since everyone’s met Y/n let’s sing happy birthday!” you finally recognize the voice to be Tony’s, “Head to the Dining table!”

You’re still standing there stunned, “Did that just happen?”

“Yes,” Peter says grabbing your arm, “Now let’s get some cake.”

Peter leads you to the Dining Table and then to a cupcake tower full of different types of cupcakes with a lit candle on top reading ‘17’. You take a deep breath to collect yourself. You look around you and you’re overwhelmed with how much you can feel all of them caring for you even though you just met most of them today. You wish your parents could see this… no you wish that your parents loved you enough where you wouldn’t even be in New York right now, but they don’t, and you have to live with that. “Thank you, for all of this,” you say looking mostly at Peter but also at the others. “Usually, I would spend my birthday with just my parents and this year I thought it would be Peter, May, MJ, Ned, and I. But I never could’ve predicted to be with any of you much less as your new teammate. I don’t know what else to do besides saying thank you.”

Next Chapter

Arrived

#the new kid #the avengers #peter parker #peter parker x platonic!reader #avengers x lesbian #avengers x reader #avengers x platonic reader #marvel x reader #marvel #self insert

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giorno-plays-piano · 4 years

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Bucky got kidnapped by a villain!reader who wants revenge and is toying with the reader who thinks she has the upper hand. He finally stops messing around with her before taking her right there and then with a hot and passionate non-con sex like he has always been dreaming all this time he had been obsessing over her,stalking her and watching her from afar. Surprise,suprise! 😱🖤 And can you also please add Bucky enjoying being tied up by the person he's obsessed with for a long time? 🙈❤💕

I kinda united these requests because I felt they were similar, but if you would like to see a story other than the one I’ve done, please let me know <3

P.S. I’m honestly not sure if I was able to do well with this one because I couldn’t write the non-con part. I’m very sorry about that. Please feel free to call me out for it 🙈

Till Death Do Us Part

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Soldat!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, mentions of abuse and non-con, brainwashing, stalking, kidnapping.

Words: 2000.

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It took you months to plan this operation and years to track down the Asset once he left Hydra. Captain and his lovely paper soldiers were hiding him well from the organization, and you had spent lots of time trying to hunt him down, but you weren’t concerned with it. You were a great one for waiting, day after day tracing Avengers and collecting bits of information to finally locate Winter Soldier, the first Soldat out of many. Funny, Steve Rogers and others really thought their friend was the last one.

You had to be grateful to the Soldier, one of your masters said. It was because of him you were kept out of cryochamber for so long. It was also because of him you still served as an Asset, trained by the fearsome Soldat himself. Since he left, you were considered one of the very best Soldiers of the organization, and it was partly a reason why they made you track him down.

The other reason was your intense hatred for the man who had been methodically destroying you after you became a part of Hydra decades ago.

You didn’t know why he chose you. Of course, you weren’t the only one he trained, but the only one Soldat raped time after time. He used you like you were made to fulfil his desires, not to become a tool in your masters’ arms. In the end, you had never felt like an Asset while Winter Soldier was still looming behind you. You were a broken toy Hydra was using for murder while Soldat treated you like a doll, taking whatever was left of you for his own pleasure. No memory suppressing machine could wipe this out of your mind.

You grew used to it. Years of training and abuse and complete control were enough to made you as submissive as others. However, the thought of stabbing the Soldier in the chest had always lingered somewhere at the back of your mind. You hated him more than any of your masters. They were evil, of course, but only the Soldier knew what it meant to be an Asset.

And he still chose to destroy you even more than Hydra did.

Of course, when your masters made you hunt him down, you were as eager as you had never been before. You had very little human left in you after all those years of serving, but anger and deep hatred were among those few emotions you could still feel. They made you keep going day after day when you were beaten for returning to your masters empty-handed.

But you knew you would eventually find him. Despite him being a very good Asset, Soldat wasn’t perfect. He would slip up, eventually. Besides, he was trying to return that human part of him that died in Siberia 70 years ago, and it was his mistake, indeed. Only the Soldier stripped of humanity could win against the other Soldier. Captain America might be an exception, but you’d make sure Steve Rogers wasn’t anywhere near Soldat when you got to him.

And now he was there, chained to the memory suppressing machine, metal rings binding him, grim and exhausted from a fight. He didn’t look any different to you, his dark long hair still dirty, his eyes deep and dark, his body as big and muscular as you remembered. But he was there, with you, completely harmless, disarmed, unable to hurt you. It was the first time it had ever happened, and you felt a strange wicked feeling rising in your chest. Was it happiness? Satisfaction? You didn’t remember feeling anything like that before. Maybe it was what people called joy.

You needed him to undergo mind treatment before taking him to the other location. Naturally, Hydra still wanted him, but you weren’t afraid of Soldat’s return. You beaten him. You bound him. You were stronger than you had ever been before, and no Asset could do to you what Soldat did. It was your time to be his tormentor.

Little did you know it wasn’t you tracking him, but Barnes hunting you down. After his escape most Hydra’s operatives went in hiding, and cryochambers were relocated which made his task more difficult, but he was determined to find you.

Yes, Bucky knew he treated you wrong. He still remembered all the things he had done, and he wasn’t trying to sugarcoat them. Nevertheless, he wanted you back. He needed you, and, more importantly, you needed him. You needed to get your life back, your privilege to be human. You needed to be treated like a person, not a tool.

And Bucky needed a family.

Despite all his attempts to have his life back, he just wasn’t that smiling young boy who left Brooklyn in 1943. Maybe he was finally free of Hydra’s brainwashing thanks to Shuri, but he still didn’t feel fully human. Steve couldn’t understand him - in fact, no Avenger could. Even Natasha didn’t know what being an Asset meant, how badly it changed him. Of course, Barnes couldn’t blame Avengers. He was just so, so lonely.

Bucky needed a family, Steve said. It would give him the reason to fully recover and find his place in this strange new world they were forced to live in. Look at Clint, he said. Whatever was happening to him on the missions, he was always coming back to his wife and kids. They were his world.

But there was just one woman he remembered loving, the one who was with him through his darkest days when he wasn’t him but the Soldier. Maybe it was the Soldier who loved her, not him either, yet Bucky wanted her as much as that monster. Was she still there, in her cryochamber, waiting to be awaken and given orders by her masters?

He knew she was.

As you took a round piece of black plastic to put in Barnes’ mouth before wiping his memories, he suddenly chuckled, looking up at your stony face. He could tell you were tired, desperate for rest, lonely and forgotten by everyone but Hydra and him. You needed to be brought back to the world. How many decades had passed since the time when you were kidnapped? You had no one but Barnes.

Yes, he was bound by all those metal rings, but he was prepared for all of it. Stark and Steve and Banner had helped him a lot when he revealed there could be more Winter Soldiers aside from the ones who were already murdered. More than that, Shuri was now waiting for him to bring you. If she was able to wipe Hydra’s brainwashing, Bucky would get finally what he wanted.

But first he needed you to lower your guards. Though he wouldn’t have a problem with overpowering you, he didn’t want you to get even more hurt.

“Хозяева будут тебе рады.” (”The masters would be pleased to have you back.”) You said, and Bucky lifted the corners of his mouth a little.

“А ты?” (”Will you be happy to have me back, too?”)

He barely blinked, and you took a swing to his jaw, making him grunt and squeeze his eyes shut for a second. Your hand was still quite heavy, and you could put any other guy down with one blow. Not him, of course. Never him.

Licking a trickle of blood running from the corner of his mouth, Bucky felt he was getting harder and bit down on his lower lip. It was odd, but, for some reason, he enjoyed being tied up by you, having you think you controlled him while he just needed to lift his finger to break free. Did you know how much he loved you? Did you know how much he still cared? How desperate he was to give you all that Hydra took away years ago?

Barnes knew you wouldn’t forgive him now despite his best efforts, but with the help of Shuri he would imprint it on your brain: you needed him. You needed him to love and protect you after all years of abuse you suffered. He was the only one who could really understand you - and the only one to save you from the world’s most vile organization SHIELD had been fighting for decades.

When you brought that piece of black plastic to his mouth again, Bucky had stretched his metal arm, and the rings binding him fell to concrete floor with a loud thud. You reacted momentarily, backing off and aiming your gun at him, but Barnes was much faster, catching the bullet with his metal hand. Oh, he could see you were surprised despite that blank expression you wore when he jumped at you, sweeping you off your feet. You fought him furiously, trying to punch, stab, and kick him, but the more you fought, the more you realized the Soldat was still somewhere there inside him. Instead of rage, now you felt fear suffocating you.

No, no, no. You wouldn’t let it happen. You wouldn’t let the Soldier take you again. Being disposed by Hydra was better than this.

However, Bucky didn’t give you a choice, injecting a syringe into your neck the moment you broke his rib. Where did he hid it? Didn’t you take away anything you deemed dangerous before binding him?

“I love you,” he said, watching you going limp on the cold concrete floor, your body slowly giving up. It was a drug made by Banner - he could calm down even the Big guy with it.

“We aren’t... capable.” You hissed through your teeth, helplessly trying to make your body move but failing again and again. Fuck, no, no, NO, NO! NOT LIKE THIS! IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!

In a matter of minutes you were no stronger than a child of a cat. No, it was called somehow differently... A kitten. No stronger than a kitten with your arms and legs giving out as Soldat lifted you up from the floor while you stared at the dirty ceiling, feverishly looking for a way out of this. How long did that drug need to be out of your system? How much time the Soldier would have? It would be enough for him to relocate you somewhere, you knew it. You’d be back into that limbo, enraged, frightened, and used. Your masters wouldn’t try taking you back.

“Stop struggling.” Bucky said as he made you drop your head to his chest, placing a little device on the lock preventing him from leaving, and in the next second something beeped, forcing a heavy rusted door to open. “I came to help.”

You reacted just like he thought you would, and a part of him was happy you could still feel at least some emotion. He thought about you being so strong that even Hydra couldn’t wipe off your personality and destroy you beyond repair. Even though you hated him with every fibre of your being, Barnes could work with that. He was relieved you felt something for him at all.

“I can help you heal. I’ll bring back the real you.” He whispered as he dropped a tender kiss to your forehead, and you clenched your teeth until it hurt.

“I will stab you in your sleep.”

Barnes laughed at that, going up the stairs in almost complete darkness and carrying you as if you were the only treasure he had ever had, forgetting about his own wounds. He had so much that had to be done to give you your humanity back. It wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t be fast, but he was prepared to wait just like you waited for him all those years after his escape.

_________________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @soleil-dor @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @iheartsebastianstan @stargazingfangirl18

#bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #winter soldier #yandere #requests #mcu #mcu fanfiction

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promethes · 4 years

Text

dumping the horrendous unconventional short story I wrote for my midterm under the cut to get it off my mind bc I do not like it.

ENTRY 1

I think I will make my life’s motif a bird. It shouldn’t be too hard. They’re everywhere and pop out at the most opportune moments. I’ll find a way to tie them in.

ENTRY 2

Stood in line for way too long at the cafe. Can you believe the girl in front of me didn’t even look up to plan her order until she was physically at the front of the line? I knew what I wanted to order before I even stepped foot into the place. They need to change that. I’m on the lookout for some kind of online suggestion box to submit to since they decided to forgo an in-house one for some God forsaken reason. There’s not a lick of common sense in anyone these days. Saw a robin on my way out and flicked it a sesame seed from my bagel.

ENTRY 3

Would you listen to this garbage? They’re planning on tearing down my favorite bowling alley. “Didn’t pass inspection” my ass. It’s an important cultural landmark of our city and I’m marching down to the mayor to set him straight. I can’t stage important life moments around the cardinal themed bowling alley if there is no bowling alley to have a cardinal theme!

ENTRY 4

Mom’s in the hospital. Driving over now, she said it has something to do with her cholesterol. It either spiked or dropped real low, but I can’t be sure. Either way, she’s in the hospital. I don’t know why she chose the one that’s so far away though. The vending machines in the other one have way better stock.

ENTRY 5

Forgot to say. I didn’t run over any birds on the way there.

ENTRY 6

I don’t think I’m spiraling yet but I’m close to it. Mom’s fine, she’s just staying overnight in case anything acts up again. I, on the other hand, am NOT. Car won’t start and I’ve been sitting here in the parking lot for almost four hours now. Embarrassed beyond belief. A weird old man with a huge shiny truck offered to help and he’s been good on his word lending me his car to jump-start mine, but his bumper stickers make me nervous. His truck has custom lettering too. I’m a big guy, so not too worried, but a little concerned.

Anyway, it didn’t work and I’m calling a tow truck now. I tried to thank the guy and offered to buy him coffee, but he just said “No way, Jose” which was weird. He smacked the top of my car before he left and said I need to “dress this little lady up.” Maybe I’ll get a sparrow bumper sticker online. Everything’s online these days.

ENTRY 7

Starting to rethink the bird motif thing. Not much goes on in my life anyway, and there’s only so much material I can get out of waking up early to chirping. Maybe I should aim lower. I could choose a color instead. Red would be a cop-out, it’s too obvious. Blood! I need something that’s at least a little challenging. We’ll see. I’ll sleep on it.

ENTRY 8

GREAT NEWS! Sister got a BIRD. A real-life living breathing chirping flying bird. It’s a sign and I’m not going to ignore it. My life’s motif is a bird and it’s not going to be one of those unbearably hidden motifs from English class required readings either.

(Although I did like some of them. That spoon in Middlesex…… I want my bird to be his spoon. To take up space in an almost eerie way. I’ll find a way to make it work.)

ENTRY 9

Laying the groundwork. These things don’t come easy, so I’m sowing the seeds (birds do that, right?) Told everyone at work that my great great great grandfather’s name was Starling. Drilled up a lot of curious questions and I even got to know some of the people I always just miss talking to. They were all VERY interested. Tomorrow I’ll bring in a picture of an actual starling. I don’t think Andrew quite knows that it’s a kind of bird.

ENTRY 10

Don’t remember the name my sister chose and I couldn’t remember if I tried even if I squeezed my eyes shut before blinking really fast like I usually do because this bird (Polly I’m going to call it Polly because an annoying bird deserves an annoying name) is so incessantly annoyingly unbearably loud. I can’t believe this thing is my sign.

My sign is chirping me into the basement and into a frenzy. At least I have my old sleeping bag handy until I can figure out how to shut it up. Why must my motif be so unbearably annoying?

ENTRY 11

Update on the car: starter wires snapped. Haven’t seen any birds around lately (except for a crow but I hate crows and I won’t be counting them) so I was hopeful and asked the mechanic if there’s any chance a bird could’ve pecked at the wires until they got so worn down that they snapped in the hospital parking lot.

He looked at me like I was crazy. I know that was what the look meant because he said, “Are you f****ing crazy man? The wires are deep in your car under the hood.” (I’m censoring the language. I don’t want language taking away from my story. If this is to be read in a future child’s English class to teach a lesson about motifs, I can’t be including foul language.)

I’m not f***ing crazy but I am extremely ticked off. Does he not realize how little birds come out in the cold weather? I need whatever I can get.

I’ll just tell people a bird got stuck under the hood of my car. I’ll change this entry later. Mechanic man doesn’t deserve a spot in a child’s English class; he didn’t even have the decency to watch his language for them.

ENTRY 12

People at work are finally starting to catch on! Got called “bird guy” by Kathleen (Catherine? Kristy? Whatever.) when she saw my shirt. I knew it’d be a good move when I saw it on sale at Walmart. I’m thinking of making the cover of my book Hawaiian print, but I’ll tell my future publisher I’m not married to the idea. Can’t be too picky on my first book! I’ll leave that for the second.

ENTRY 13

I will enjoy my day today I will enjoy my day today I will enjoy my day. Sister needs to get control of Polly. I’ve moved down my whole mattress now. I will enjoy my day I will enjoy my day I will enjoy

ENTRY 14

Can’t believe I overlooked eagles and hawks. Of course sparrows and starlings weren’t doing the trick! Classic oversight, focusing too much on the mundane. I won’t be making that mistake. I blame it all on that incessant chirping. Mom says it’s not too bad but I’m fairly certain that cholesterol has gotten to her ears. She must be going deaf. She’s lucky she’s ill or else I’d be very extremely sore at her for making that face at me. I know it’s a bad face because it’s the same face that f***ing mechanic made and I don’t think he’s ever made a good face in his life so if my mom made that same face then I really don’t like that. She gets a pass for the cholesterol.

ENTRY 15

I feel amazing. Bought an eagle bumper sticker at a roadside gas station and after a few strategic snips, it’ll be ready to go on the car. I’m dressing this little lady up! The red, white, and blue has got to go first though. Decided a while ago not to let colors mess with my motif, and I’m not going to slip up on that again! Snip snip.

I’m considering this a debt paid. Dressed the little lady up. Two birds, one stone! I’m making that my new catchphrase.

ENTRY 16

Should I make this a love story? I’m thinking about making it a romance. Doves are right there, really just waiting for me to weave them in. On the other hand, I don’t think that’d work to create much of a conducive learning environment for the kids. I think I’ll stick to a Mark Twain type story instead.

Reread the beginning and don’t think it’s working. I’ll be cutting all that out. I spoke too much about mom’s cholesterol. Too many side characters and not enough focus. Where was I going with this again?

ENTRY 17

Writer’s block. It’s ok, I still had that major breakthrough with the hawk/eagle thought. Put in my two weeks to dedicate all my time. I’ve found a bird-watching site that I hope will bring me more peace than f***ing Polly.

ENTRY 18

These birds are really working to stay in my New York Times best-selling children’s novel. Knew this would be a challenge, but they really do never stop conversing. If only they could read, I’d write them a best-selling manual on the best ways to speak inwards rather than outwards. Chirp chirp chirp needs to turn into ______ ________ ________.

ENTRY 19

Sister’s going to be f***ing pissed but it was the only thing to do.

ENTRY 20

Honestly, it was just a bird! If it was really part of our family, you’d think that I’d know its name by now.

ENTRY 21

I said that Polly’s in a better place now, but set her off with the “Polly”. Maybe this was a mistake. She said I “begged” her to get the bird but she shouldn’t say that when she’s the one reacting like this.

ENTRY 22

Books should come with suggestion boxes. No more birds. Story’s six feet under just like Gladys. See, I can finally remember it now that I can hear myself think.

#eugh #og #emptying notes #essays

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hannahindie · 4 years

Text

Birthday Boy

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester (brief) Word Count: 2,460 Warnings: Alcohol use, sad Dean (for like, a second). Not much to be warned about, except I may have forgotten how to write. A/N: I started this last January, when my life got flipped upside down and I was a bit of a mess. It didn’t get done before Dean’s birthday, so I just didn’t do anything with it. I’m still not sure it’s totally done...but you’ll see what I mean when you get to the end.

Beta’d by the sweetest of sweets, @amanda-teaches. Any mistakes you see are mine, and mine alone. I’m also using my old tag list, so if any of you want off of it or if you want on it, please let me know. Strike throughs means it won’t let me tag you, so if you’ve changed a username or if something is broken, shoot me an ask. It feels like it’s been 84 years. Thanks for those of you who have stuck around. <3.

January 23-24, 2003

“Do you have a ride home?”

The man sitting at the bar looks up at me, his eyes slightly bloodshot and most definitely tired, and shrugs. “Do you make a habit out of offering free rides to men you don’t know?”

I shrug back, “No. But, when you look the way you do, I just assume letting you drive a vehicle is probably a bad plan. When’s the last time you slept?”

He rolls his eyes, “You ask a lot of questions for a bartender. Aren’t you just supposed to listen to people’s problems, silently shake your head, and slide me another shot?”

“I think you’ve had enough.” I walk over to the door and flip the sign over to closed, then walk back and start wiping down the counter. He props his chin in his hand and watches me, lifting his elbow as I brush past him.

“Closing early?”

I snort, shaking my head, “it’s 3 a.m. so, no. Closing on time.”

“Shit.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and frowns.

“What’s wrong?” I toss the dirty rag in the small basket under the bar, and grab the garnish tray.

“Oh, nothing. Just expected a phone call, is all.”

“Hmm.” I close the small fridge that’s behind the bar, then turn and lean back against the back counter, my arms crossed. “So you’re just sitting there, alone and pouting, for no reason? Spill it.” Against my better judgement, I grab two shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

“I thought I was cut off.”

“Do you want me to change my mind?” I slide the glass to him, then return to leaning against the back bar. “Now, spill it.”

“It’s nothing, really,” he mumbles, swirling the glass against the wooden countertop, “it’s just, uh...it’s my birthday. Well, as of three hours ago, it’s my birthday. Thought maybe my family would call.” He says it casually, as if it’s not a big deal, but it is. It’s in the way he throws back the shot, and grimaces as it burns down his throat. It’s the nonchalant way he sniffs, wrinkling his nose ever so slightly.

“Why aren’t they here with you?”

He laughs, though the smile that accompanies it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “Well, my dad is on a hunting trip. My kid brother is away at school. Gonna be a hot shot lawyer, someday.”

“They can’t even take the time out to wish you a happy birthday?”

“Eh, they’re busy. Sammy doesn’t want in the family business, and my dad...well...he’s too obsessed with it. Guess someone has to be a happy medium.”

“Well, you just seem overjoyed…” I raise an eyebrow in question.

“Dean. Dean Winchester.”

I give him a smile, “Well, Dean Winchester, my name is Y/N. And now that I know that it’s your birthday, we’re going to celebrate.” I walk over to the coat rack and grab my jacket. “Come on, let’s go.”

“It’s 3 a.m., what are we going to do?”

“Calm yourself, we’re not doing that. There are other things we can get into. Although, if you quit blabbing and follow me, maybe I’ll let you steal second.”

He smiles at that, a genuine smile, and I thank whatever greater power there is that brought him to my bar.

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“So, wait, you do what now?”

“We hunt monsters. All kinds. I’d name ‘em, but it’s a lot, and it’s boring. Well, not boring. You don’t need to worry ‘bout it, though.”

“Monsters aren’t real, Dean.” I take a swig of whiskey from the bottle we took from the bar and make a face at him. We’re both decently drunk at this point, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to just suddenly believe in monsters.

“They aren’t to you. Because of people like us. Tha’s the whole reason we do it, ya know. So that civilians don’t know about ‘em.”

I snort, and immediately regret it when whiskey hits my nostrils, “Oh, God, owwww…” I wipe the tears from my eyes, “Civilians? What is this, the military?”

He gets serious, his brows furrowed as he stares at me, “It is like a war, Y/N. A war that I hope you never have to see. It’s not...it’s not a choice hunters make, normally. We do it because we have to. All of us have our stories, and most of ‘em...well...they end fast. And bloody.” He grabs the bottle from me and takes a long pull from it, “Well, this got real cheery, real fast.”

“Okay, so monsters are real...but why are you telling me?”

He shrugs, the corner of his lip curls up slightly, and I wish that we had met at a different time, different place. “Because you seem like someone who wouldn’t think I’m crazy.”

“That’s debatable.” He nudges me with his elbow, and I nudge him back, leaning my body weight into him a moment longer than I probably should. “I don’t think you’re crazy.” Before I can stop myself, I lean forward and kiss him gently on the lips. When I pull away, his eyes are wide, a brilliant green in the light of the street lamp we’re parked under. “Happy birthday, Dean Winchester.”

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January 24, 2006

“You still want to give a guy a ride home, or is that just reserved for strangers?”

I would know that voice anywhere. I turn to see Dean Winchester leaning against the bar, less worse for wear than the first time I saw him.

“Eh, depends on the guy, I guess.”

He leans across and kisses me on the cheek. “Yea, well, I hope I’ve got what it takes.”

“Oh, I’d say you do. It’s your birthday, after all.”

He grins, “You remembered! Gonna let me steal second?”

I shrug, “Not if you’re gonna be cocky about it.”

“Oh, I’ll show you cock-“

“Dean!” I try to admonish him, but start laughing as I grab his favorite beer and pop the cap. “You’re the worst.”

He takes the beer from me and sits down, but I can tell he’s uneasy. He keeps glancing over his shoulder like he’s looking for someone.

“What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, “Nothin’. It’s just, my kid brother is with me. It’s his girlfriend's birthday, too, and he’s not in the best mood.”

“Sam’s here? Why’s he in a bad mood?” I slide a beer down the bar to one of the regulars.

“She, uh...she died. A couple months ago.” He takes a swig and sits the bottle down a little harder than necessary.

“What? What happened?” I’ve never met Sam, but Dean has told me plenty about him during our late night calls and text messages while he’s been gone.

“It’s a long story...and part of the reason I haven’t gotten to talk to you in awhile.”

“Oh.” I look over his shoulder and see a tall figure moving through the crowd, nearly a head over everyone around him. Dean follows my gaze and perks up slightly.

“Sammy!” The figure changes direction and claims the stool next to Dean. “This is Y/N. Y/N, Sam.”

He smiles, and it reminds me of the first time I saw Dean. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but he smiles nonetheless. “It’s nice to finally meet you, he never shuts up about you.”

“Shut up, Sam,” Dean grumbles, taking another sip of beer.

I laugh, “Well, I’ve heard about you, too.” I grab three shot glasses and pour one for each of us. “I probably shouldn’t do this at work, but why not. Shots for the birthday boy, on the house.” We each grab one and I quickly shoot mine, smacking my lips and tossing the used glass into the sink. Both boys stare at me with wide eyes, glasses halfway to their lips. “What?”

“Marry me.”

“I don’t think so, Winchester. Now drink your shot.” I move towards the end of the bar and take a few more orders, every once in awhile looking back over my shoulder at the two travel worn men. Though Sam is sad, he’s trying to cover it for Dean, and I’m grateful for that. Dean looks the happiest that I’ve seen him on his birthday, since it’s become a tradition, and I think having Dean is helping Sam, too.

It finally hits closing time, and I flip the sign, then turn back to them. “Now, it’s time to actually celebrate.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean walks me to my front door and leans against the porch post as I fumble around with my keys. “You could come stay the night with me.”

I snort, “Yea, I could. But, then you’ll leave, and I’ll have to come back here, and it’ll be sad.”

He moves closer to me, his hands on my waist, “I could stay here.”

I look over his shoulder at Sam, passed out in the front seat, his forehead pressed against the passenger window, “And, what about Sam?”

He looks back and shrugs, “He’ll be fine, he’s totally out. He’ll never even notice.”

“Dean…”

He pauses, worries his lip between his teeth for a second, and then asks the last thing I think he’s going to ask, “Come with us?”

“What?” I’m not sure I heard him right. He’s never suggested me coming with him, and has always made it a point to say he doesn’t want me to see this life up close, other than seeing him.

“Come with us. We’ve got room in the Impala, you could travel the country, just like you always say you want to do.”

“You want me to come hunting with you?”

“Not hunting, you can just travel with us, help with research and stuff. It’ll be…” he trails off and sighs, “It’ll be boring as hell for you. And still not safe. I’m sorry, I just...I’m tired of only seeing you once a year, and only getting phone calls. That was...that was selfish. I’m sorry.”

“Look at me.” He reluctantly does, and I see the sadness in his eyes. I’m sure mine look the same way. “I don’t like it either, I wish I could. But I have a life here, and you know you don’t actually want me tagging along. You do realize you can come see me whenever you want, right? It doesn’t just have to be your birthday? And, I’ll always be right here. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Yea...that’s true.” He kisses me, and it’s soft. Not like the times before, softer than that but more meaningful. He lingers and I can taste the whiskey on his lips. Maybe I should go with him. He steps back and gives me a sad smile.

“I’ll call soon.”

I nod, trying to hold back tears. I’m still hoping he’ll argue with me, convince me to go, but he turns and walks back to the car and my moment is gone.

“Happy birthday, Dean Winchester,” I whisper.

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January 22-24, 2009

My phone rings and I roll over, squinting at the bright light now illuminating my dark bedroom. It’s a number I don’t recognize, but I answer anyway.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

The voice is familiar, and a blurry image is tickling the edge of my brain, pulling and prodding, but, in the clinging haze of sleep, I can’t tell who it is. “Yea?”

“I’m sorry to wake you, I know it’s late...it’s Sam, by the way. Sam Winchester.”

I sit up and it feels like my heart is in my throat, “Sam, is everything okay?” I haven’t heard from Dean in far too long, and it doesn’t make sense that Sam is calling.

“Umm, well, that’s a tough question to answer. I guess the short answer is, it is now. But Dean...he needs you. I’ll explain more later, but can you come to this address?” He rattles off the address of what I assume is a dive bar, and I somehow manage to catch it all.

“How long will you be there?”

“We just got off a job and it’s almost-“

“Yea, his birthday, I know. I’ll pack and be there as soon as I can, okay?”

“Yea, okay...thanks for doing this.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad you called. See you soon.” I hang up, and immediately go to my closet and grab my suitcase. After a moment of hesitation, I grab another suitcase and a duffel bag. It’s too much, but I’ll figure it out later.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dean?” I recognize the broad shoulders hunched over the bar before I even see his face. The dull tap of glass hitting wood stops as he hears my voice.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he rasps, his voice raw from hours of drinking.

“And, why not?” I take a tentative step forward, pausing when I notice him tense up.

“I’m not good to be around. It’ll only get you killed. It’s why you didn’t come with me the first time I asked, whether you want to admit it or not. Selfish of me, anyway.”

I close the remaining distance and sit on the stool next to him, but he refuses to look at me. “You know that’s not the reason. I thought I had a reason to stay, and that my life was there, not because I was afraid to go with you.” I pause and my brief silence seems to catch his attention. He looks up at me with bleary eyes. “I was hoping you would turn around and ask one more time...maybe I should have said something.”

“You actually wanted to come with us?” He props his head on his fist, the knuckles smashing his cheek almost comically despite how serious we started this conversation.

“Yea, I did. But you know, maybe it wasn’t the time. Maybe I wasn’t ready for such a big change then.”

“Then? What about now?”

I shrug, “I mean, there might a suitcase or two in the trunk of my car.”

He sits up, a smile slowly pulling up one corner of his mouth. “Seriously?”

“I mean, you don’t have to make a big deal out of it.” I glance up at the clock above the bar: 12:01. “Although I suppose you could count it as your birthday present. Happy birthday, Dean Winchester.”

He looks up at the clock, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, then looks back at me. “I can’t think of a better way to start it.” His lips are on mine before I can think, and I can feel the warmth of him all the way to my toes. How I ever managed to not go with him in the first place is a mystery.

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Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda @wheresthekillswitch @emlostinwonderland @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @deanssweetheart23 @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @fandomismyspirit @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbatesmotel53 @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat @squirrel-moose-winchester @mjdoc90 @anticipate1003 @mrswhozeewhatsis @mogaruke @speakinvain @linki-locks11 @wildlandfox @rhochradel @lostnliterature @eternal-elir @spn-ficfanatic @polina-93 @lexiiiii28 @poukothenerd @emoryhemsworth @yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend @adoptdontshoppets @closetspngirl @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @ellen-reincarnated1967 @hunterscabin

Dean Only: @akshi8278 @valkyrieslament @lavieenlex @highonpastries @wholelottajackles @imascio08

#supernatural #dean winchester #dean x reader #reader insert #sam winchester #happy birthday dean winchester #han writes stuff

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getalittleclosey · 4 years

Text

under 10k larry fic rec

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 25k

under 50k

under 100k

100k+

☆ colors of the rainbow (shine so bright) by whisperdlullaby 9k

Louis' a popular skateboarder who's out to ruin Harry's life, and sometimes Harry just likes to wear nail polish and panties. Or alternatively, the one where Harry absolutely does not have a diary.

note: there’s a part 2 that’s 6k

☆ day 3: tossed salad by missandrogyny 5k

Harry sighed. “Lou,” he said, as Louis pressed kisses onto the skin of his neck. He gripped at the edge of the washing machine as Louis nibbled lightly at a spot below his jaw. “I’m doing the laundry."

note: this is part of a series by multiple authors but imo can be read on its own as a pwp

☆ jealous of the moon by objectlesson 10k

This is how he dies, Harry Styles saying I want you in me when Louis can’t possibly fulfill that request in a reasonable or safe way.

☆ string theory by graceana 10k

au. louis buzzes with something and glows with another.

The last few players are trickling off the bus when Louis looks down at his hands to see that he is pretty simply put, glowing gold,” Aww what the fuck is this shit. Is it that noticeable?” He whines, doesn’t even make a big deal out of it like it’s a normal thing that should be happening right now.

aka. a cliche soulmatey-fate thing.

☆ you’re like a sponge (abrasive and colorful) by ladylondonderry 7k

Harry LOML Styles: Hey, can you recommend your fav shoe stores? Heels Abroad is closing and I know you know some good places

Butterflies have erupted in Louis’s stomach. This is the first time Harry has ever texted him. He glances down at the beat up old Adidas he wore for his run this morning. Harry thinks Louis knows some good places? He trusts Louis’s opinion on something?

Louis gulps, and then coughs up toothpaste, hastily spitting into the sink. Everything depends on this. Harry - Harry Styles - has texted him! Louis can’t mess this up. He has to be perfect. He has to have great shoe store recommendations. He feels giddy. This is it! A turn in their friendship! The toothpaste-y grin firmly on his face, he picks up his phone again just as another message comes through.

Harry LOML Styles: Sorry, wrong person

Oh.

Or, Louis's flirts look an awful lot like insults.

☆ rated r by cherrystreet 8k

Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry's family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues.

☆ stars and boulevards by cherrystreet 6k

They’d been friends for years, had known each other throughout middle school and into high school, meeting in a music class on a sticky September morning. They hit it off instantly, falling into one another immediately, never looking back. Their friendship was comfortable, genuine, safe, always there, achingly present and solid. Harry never felt uneasy confiding in Louis, their one year age gap making Louis somehow seem more worldly, more experienced, and even when Harry had to look down at Louis, he still looked up to him. They spent the quickly passing school years making each other’s homes their own, Harry’s mom calling Louis her honorary second son, Louis’ mom giving Harry a similar title, and everyone knew that if you wanted to find Harry, you had to find Louis first.

☆ in retrospect by ologist 9k

In retrospect, messing with time travel probably wasn’t the best idea George has ever had, and if that’s not the most ironic thing he doesn’t know what is.

note: this is from george shelley’s perspective so there’s quite a bit of union j!

☆ just you wait and see by orphan_account 7k

In which Harry mistakes Louis' flirting as an attempt to steal his job.

☆ i wanna be yours now by justalittlelouislove 8k

“Look, I’m not saying that it’s for sure a serial killer.” Pressing the end of his cigarette to his lips, Zayn takes a short pull and speaks through the exhale, blowing smoke out of the side of his mouth and up towards the sky. “All I’m saying is there’s a good possibility it’s a serial killer.”

Someone is sending Louis flowers. Everyone suffers until Louis gets answers.

☆ come on over tonight by dinosaursmate 6k

As Louis reached Harry’s front path, he spotted something curious on the grass, near to Harry’s wheelie bins. Louis frowned in consternation. Was that…? He crouched down to look at the item a bit closer. It was a snowglobe. Not only was it a snowglobe, it was a Winnie The Pooh snowglobe. A rather large one. A Christmas themed one. - A friends with benefits au where Louis finds out there's a bit more to Harry than an insatiable sexual appetite.

☆ like vines (we intertwine) by turnyourankle 8k

The "Roswell" AU where Harry is an alien, Louis is not, and they've both been pining after each other for far too long.

☆ i was getting kinda used to being someone you loved by werebothstubborn 8k

His hand clamps down over Louis’ mouth as firmly as he can manage. “What do you want? C'mon, you have my full attention now. What. Do. You. Want.”

Louis manages to look apologetic as he licks slobbery circles around Harry's palm until he lets go. “Pretend to be my boyfriend,” he says, dramatically gulping in as much air as he can breathe.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This bloke just came up to me, said he’d give us fifty quid to be in his music video.”

“And you said what? ‘Sure, just let me coerce my friend into it with uncomfortable amounts of PDA and blackmail’?”

Louis has a brilliant idea. Harry begs to differ. Until he doesn't.

☆ can’t you see the glow by supernope 8k

Four times Harry tries and fails to tell Louis he's pregnant, and the one time he (accidentally) succeeds.

☆ i’ll know my name when it’s called again by pukeandcry 9k

Louis wakes up in Harry's body. This is a problem for several reasons.

☆ make you never wanna leave by fairytalelights 9k

“But that's fine?” Now Louis just looks confused. “There are so many ways you can have fun sex. Wetness is helpful but not a requirement.” Harry can feel his face heating up. The way Louis said fun sex, like it's that easy, like he has all the experience. He might be a year older than Harry, but Harry's not quite sure if age is the only factor at play here. He doesn't know why the thought of Louis having sex makes his heart start to race again and he especially doesn't know why the next thing he blurts out is, “You could show me.”

or, Harry is an omega teen who has trouble getting wet even when he's turned on, Louis is his omega best friend who helps him experiment. In a completely platonic way, of course.

☆ i’ll show you magic by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) 5k

Louis didn’t mean to go home with a Muggle, and he didn’t mean to sneak out of his flat in the morning. He definitely didn’t mean to wind up in that same flat a month later, attempting to steal a magical object before the Muggle gets home.

☆ streetwise hercules by bottomlinsons 7k

“I said,” Louis’ voice is venomous, “who the fuck is this?”

Right.

This is Harry’s part.

(Uni AU, where Louis pretends to be Harry's boyfriend to scare away his one night stands.)

☆ a fully armed battalion (to remind me of my love) by mediawhore 6k

“He was flirting with you by the way,” Niall says casually once he’s finished saying goodbye to Louis and he’s joined Harry outside.

“No he wasn’t,” Harry replies automatically, feeling his heart clench at the thought. Was he?

Niall simply raises a mocking eyebrow in response before wrapping his scarf twice around his neck.

“Not that it matters!” Harry says quickly, eyes widening. “I wouldn’t care even if he did because he’s awful and the worst.”

Everyone at Hogwarts knows that Professor Styles and Professor Tomlinson absolutely despise each other. It's too bad that they're in love.

☆ we found love (right where we are) by dea_liberty 7k

Harry Styles hadn’t meant to come back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as a celebrity. Except, somehow – by accident - he sort of had. Now he can't go anywhere without someone (or a lot of someones) screaming hysterically and or trying to charm him into falling in love with them. To make matters worse, he couldn't even eat anything he found just anywhere because it might be laced with a love potion. The absolute kicker though was the fact that the one person he'd been trying to impress when he'd apparently impressed the whole bloody world was probably the only person whose attention he hadn't managed to catch.

☆ dreaming of you by orphan_account 10k

It’s as he’s smoking on their shitty little balcony that it really dawns on Louis. These thoughts he’s having are about Alex’s boyfriend. His brother’s boyfriend. Louis is an awful person. He’s always been the kind of person to want what he can’t have and while he’s never wanted anything like this, he can’t stop thinking about it now. How small he’d look next to Harry. How he could easily pin Louis to a wall. How good his long, thick fingers would feel on him, in him . He feels his dick twitch and leans against the cold glass door leading back into the house.

[or; Louis falls in love with his brother's boyfriend.]

☆ won’t you love me? by halos_boat 6k

Where Louis is Spider-Man, Harry is oblivious, Liam has a problem with communicating his feelings, Zayn is frustratingly handsome and Niall has a pet turtle.

☆ feels good on my lips by phdmama 8k

When Niall harasses Harry into returning to Vermont for their fifteenth high school reunion, Harry is really not sure he wants to go. High School wasn't the most fun for him, but when it turns out that Louis Tomlinson, his former best friend and current star of the silver screen is going to be there, Harry agrees. The road to reunion is never easy.

☆ like you hate me by krisstylinson 7k

“You have poor taste for someone with the last name Styles,” he says, turning to show the back of his pants to Harry—the pants Harry had just stitched his name across last night to keep this type of thing from happening again.

Of course, he’s accomplished nothing but indirectly making himself pop a stiffy over Louis fucking Tomlinson.

☆ call me a thief by moodlighting 9k

AU. Of all the people on campus, the one person Louis can’t seem to stop running into is Harry fucking Styles. And he keeps stealing all of Louis’ shit.

#bruh there's a george shelley fic in here that's how old this is im SORRY #on the flip side there are also 2019 fics #so i mean #variety #fic rec #one direction #larry stylinson #there are quite a few hp aus in this wow good for me #mine #25 fics in this one #fic masterpost

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merlins-hurt-comfort · 4 years

Text

If You’re Gonna Be The Death Of Me, That’s How I Wanna Go

Summary: Remy really goes “head empty, only Emile” in this one. He is a cocky, little flirting shit for everyone except Emile, also Emile is non-binary because I say so. I love the “it’s my fanfiction and I get to say who’s queer/dying” attitude, can you tell? Fandom: TS Sanders Sides Warnings: Swearing and food is mentioned in a pick-up line but I think that’s it, check out the tags down below Pairing: Remile Characters: Remy Sanders, Emile Picani and Logan is mentioned once as Remy’s brother Wordcount: 1790 Uploading date: 5th of june 2020

A/N: This is for @shut-up-emrys-deactivated202005 <3 I hope you like it and I hope you're having a fantastic birthday. I am so extremely glad that you're my friend. I love you. As you can see, this piece is a bit shorter than usual and I am blaming it on the fact that it’s all fluff, no angst but hey, I have three wips right now :D

One step in front of another, that's how you walk, right? There was no big deal about what Remy was going to do. He was only going to ask out his dearest friend Emile. Emphasis on the only because it was nothing big, absolutely not at all. He would do it and he would ace it and everything would be chill and he definitely had everything under control.

He walked down the hallway of his school, on his way to Emile's locker, since that's where they would most likely be.

The students seeing Remy passing by saw someone filled with confidence. Head up high, straight posture, self-assured steps and a pair of sunglasses resting on his head, not on his nose, simply because people considered it rude to wear shaded glasses in buildings.

What they didn't see were his increasingly bad shaking hands or how he started to fidget with the hem of his leather jacket. They didn't hear his heart beating way too loudly, providing him with enough adrenaline for what his brain apparently thought was a fight, flight or freeze situation, and they didn't hear his loud racing thoughts either.

They would have noticed all those signs of Remy being a disaster gay though, if they just stopped him and casually had a conversation or simply looked a little bit closer.

Remy wasn't nervous, no. He never was. He wasn't nervous before being introduced to someone new, he wasn't nervous before class presentations or even exams because he studied really hard for them and he certainly wasn't nervous now either, no.

He was just, to quote a show he had recently binge in a sleepless night: "Uncertain of how things would go and therefore deeply terrified".

There was nothing new about this. He had flirted with a lot of people on this school or in dancing clubs he sometimes liked to go, only rarely though. The point of this is- you name them and he could probably tell you the pick-up line he had used. But then again, that had all been nothing more than play pretend, all for fun and everyone knew that, no feelings were harmed.

But this, today? That was kind of actually something new after all. He was about to ask out his best friend- with all seriousness and no play pretend! He wanted to ask them on a date and go on those dates and be a cheesy couple and not only flirt for fun but flirt to tease and flirt to let everyone know they were each other's. But he had to admit, it would also be fun to flirt simply to make them blush, yea. Remy decided he'd like that.

He walked a little faster before his brain could chose the flight over fight or freeze and he'd chicken out again, like he did the week before. That did sound good, though, he would just turn around in his path and maybe he could try it again another time when he was less... deeply terrified and-

"Remy!" Too late. Emile was putting some stuff in their locker and they hadn't actually seen Remy but noticed their best friend's presence anyways.

"What are-" They stretched to get a book from the top compartment of their with cartoon stickers decorated locker, "Could you help me out?" Remy handed the smaller friend what they couldn't reach.

"Thanks." Emile closed their locker and faced Remy. "So. What are you doing here? I do love your company but aren't all your classes today at the other side of the building? Speaking of your classes, did you get your test back? You told me you had to study a lot and after what you told me about it I am sure you did great and-."

"Yea, I- uhhh." If Remy hadn't interrupted Emile's flow, they would have continued for the rest of the break. Not that Remy was complaining, he loved to hear them talk, he could listen to their voice forever. He wanted to fall asleep and wake up to it.

"I wanted to ask you something." Remy scratched their neck and stared at Emile's locker. To look his friend in their pretty, chocolate brown eyes would only throw him off his game, even though it looked like he was already losing. Why was this so much harder than usually?

"Remy, are you alright? Did you get enough sleep last night?" Emile's hand waved in his unfocused vision.

The taller student blinked a few times to see Emile stepping a little closer, their head tilted to the side and an eyebrow slightly raised in equal worry and curiosity.

To look at their friend was a mistake, his heart could not stop pounding, he just wanted to hold them and hug their hidden worries away and everything sad they didn't deserve that would consume them in the middle of night when they texted Remy out of seemingly nowhere. Of course, Remy was always awake to text them back. But wouldn't it be better to be there for them in person?

Emile was still looking at him like Remy was a ghost or another supernatural being. He got lost in his thoughts again, didn't he? Time to say something! He tried to make his mouth work.

"Sure, sure. Uhhh, I'm good, I'm chill." He crossed his arms and actually intended to lean back real smooth and casually, but he had miscalculated the space between himself and the lockers and almost slipped, almost. But hey, his sunglasses fell down on his nose so this not impressive, far from flirting (yet) situation brought something good, at least now Emile couldn't see where Remy was looking. He smirked, to play it off.

"Something is up with you, you're acting strange." Emile, too, crossed their arms and for a quick second Remy remembered that he once read online that if you cross your arms and the other person trusts you, they will copy it, consciously or not. His heart warmed even more, it was all fuzzy and he sighed. He was sure this blood pumping organ was going to melt, he already felt warm in the leather jacket and Emile being this adorable without even trying did not help at all, believe it or not. How was he supposed to flirt with them, he was a mess. "Come on," he thought "Make it quick like ripping off a bandaid."

Remy took a deep, shaking breath. Now or never. The longer he waited the harder it would get. "I wanted to ask you if you want to do something with me this evening.... Or not today if that's not good with you, tomorrow or the weekend would also be fine, but only like... if you want to and also have the time and-."

"We do a lot of things together why is asking that big of an act for you?"

Well, then he'd have to do it blunter. Oh, this was so stupid but the only pick-up line his mind could give him at the moment. "You like raisins, don't you? How do you feel about-"

Emile's eyes lit up as they realised what their best friend was trying to do and they completed his pick-up line way more seductive than Remy could have ever dreamed of doing it himself. They smirked and lowered their voice. "-a date?"

Remy didn't even have to see that smile to know it was there. He could see it in Emile's eyes. His friend always showed their emotions way more through their eyes than anything else and those eyes looked mischievous as hell. But he made the mistake to look at the smile anyways, he was weak after all. Weak for Emile. "Are you asking me out?"

Fuck, the cat's out of the bag. "Well," Remy cleared his throat. "I am trying to but you're just too... uhhh."

"I am too what? Throwing you off your rhythm, huh?" Emile let out a short laugh and Remy was sure that this was straight up bullying. What else could it be? He felt the heat rising in his cheeks. Was he blushing, oh fuck, he was blushing, wasn't he? Full on blushing. But hey, in his defence, he could not help himself, not even a little bit, when Emile was being so- not to say attractive but that's exactly what they were. "Yea, that's precisely what you're doing."

"What?" Even though Emile hadn't seem to expect that answer, it didn't throw them off their game at all, which was quite frankly just rude. How could they be so calm, so collected, while Remy was a blushing, melting disaster? Emile then had the audacity to correct their pastel blue tie. Emile really liked wearing ties and as one knows, ties and suits and dresses and fancy clothing in general make one look ten times better than usual. Did they even know what that quick movement did to Remy? Maybe they did not- but then again- yea, no. Remy was sure Emile did that on purpose and was completely aware of how handsome they were and how many butterflies they just put in his stomach. Butterflies in the stomach, feeling nervous in all the right ways. Or as his brother would say "A phrase that is commonly used to indicate the feeling of clenched anticipation for something desired one feels deep in one's gut". Yea, Logan was a nerd.

Remy found his voice again, it was nowhere nearly as sassy, confident and loud as usually. "So, will you go on a date with me?"

"If that means I get to make you blush more, always." So much to the thought of Remy making Emile flustered, seemed like it backfired. They put their backpack over one shoulder. "Fantastic, see you this evening. I'll text you."

They put Remy's hands in theirs and softly squished them before turning around and leaving Remy right where he had stood all the time. His pulse seemed to get slower again, he had done it. Well, he shot his shot and it halfway worked before Emile took over. Now they would have dates together and they could do everything Remy not only dreamed of at night but intentionally thought of when he daydreamed and-

Oh no. Oh fuck, no. Now he would never escape being flustered and blushing, wasn't he? He let out a long sigh, it felt good to get actual air in his lungs since he hadn't properly breathed for the whole break.

He had a feeling the butterflies would stay. "If Emile's gonna be the death of me," he thought as he made his way to his next class, his hands still slightly shaking. "Then that's how I wanna go."

#sanders sides fanfiction #ts #thomas sanders #remile #emile picani #cartoon therapy #ts sleep #ts ships #remy sleep sanders #logan logic sanders #highschool au #alternate universe #non-binary emile #also yes that title is a very obvious panic! at the disco reference #tw swearing #tw food mention #the next short story will be loceit with logan angst :D #and yes i did quote matthew from big mouth #remy really says head empty only emile and i respect that

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onlyssca · 4 years

Text

Help, I lost myself again

Hi i wrote my first byeler fanfic

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21606247

Cold sweats. Always the same nightmares. This feeling of being petrified, trapped and so helpless. The sensation of not being quite himself. So lost in his mind. Was it even still his?

Burning fire in his shoulders. He didn’t have to be asleep to live, or sometimes relive, those horrors. The dark wasn’t necessary because he became the dark.

Freezing toes and fingers. The darkness started his trauma, and the trauma created more darkness. The only light he could reach was the one he produced when his heart made the tiniest of spark.

Hot pain in his lungs. And he could lie and say everything was fine. After all the absence of light in his chest became his normal.

The absence of air shocked him awake. He sat up, as electricity traveled his entire body. You’d think Will had gotten used to it after years of never ending nightmares, but he never did. If tears drop could be bottled, there would be oceans of sadness he could drown in and end it all.

He had stopped to sleep over at his friends. He always had been a people pleaser, so worry them was the last thing he wanted even if it meant he had to deal with the night waiting to eat him. Luckily for him, the idea of sleepovers slowly disappeared into thin air as he and his friends grew up.

Four sleeping bags in Mike’s basement became a bigger bed he could share with her. Laughter echoing in the Wheeler’s house became deafening silence in the Byers’s. Face hurting from smiling too much became back pain from all the burden on his shoulders.

From an outside prospective Will seemed completely fine. He was always a quite kid, so it made things easier. Sometimes someone like his mother or Mike would pick up on stuff. Like him spacing out for a moment, his breath quickening, a flicker of worry in his eyes, the goosebumps on his neck.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mike said pulling Will out of his trance.

“Yeah” They glanced at each other’s lips briefly.

“Are you sure?” The insistence warming Will’s stomach. He cares.

“Of course.” Will immediately felt bad for lying to Mike. But he had to.

If there was a good part to it, which really there wasn’t but in Will’s messed up mind it kind of made sense, was the floating feeling in his body when he was on the verge of passing out. Sleep deprivation wasn’t the solution but it made him drunk, not that he really knew what it felt like but he assumed.

Normally sleep deprivation could damage you and make you feel terrible, but Will lived in a constant state of horrible. As weird as it sounds, what he loved the most was the feeling of falling. That freedom he felt as his limbs lost control and simply collapsed.

He quickly stopped this habit when he actually collapsed in front of people. It was a Wednesday, 3rd period, math class. He hadn’t had a good night of sleep in at least 2 weeks. The dark circles under his eyes should have made people suspicious. It kind of did but not enough to make them ask and Will liked it better that way.

The teacher, noticing Will wasn’t paying attention to the lesson, made him go to the blackboard to solve a problem.

Will got up and that was the first mistake that caused the following ones.

He saw blur and felt the entire room spin. The ground felt like jelly and the walls resembled heat waves. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. And there it was again. That feeling of floating that Will craved. Except in reality he wasn’t floating, he was falling. For him it felt infinite but for everyone else it felt like seconds. He was briefly up then so suddenly hit the floor, hard. Will felt the cold tilled floor beneath him then. Nothing. Black out.

Will wished he could’ve stayed like this forever. It felt like sleep but it was so much more peaceful. Unfortunately, a second later, no matter how much actual time had passed, he opened his eyes, brightness blinding him. If he looked at the light long enough he could see stars. Then a shadow covered his face. It took a minute for his eyes to focus but as soon as he saw the figure in front of him he smiled. His heart rate rose a little, skipping a beat here and there. The euphoric feeling coming back but or a totally different reason this time.

Mike Wheeler, kneeled by his side, hovering his body. Will was so out of it that he would only later realize that his best friend was holding his hand, clinging to it as if Will’s body would liquefy if he ever let go. What he did notice was his face, the halo of light behind his head made him look like an angel. Did I finally die? Will thought. He saw his lips move but no sound followed. His eyes wandered across his face, until his met Mike’s big brown glossy ones. Mike’s wet eyes screamed worry, but Will couldn’t hear it. All he perceived was the familiarity, and reassurance of still being seen.

“Mike…” Will’s speech was barely audible over the whispering of the rest of the student all around them. Lucas and Dustin stood right behind Mike. The looks on their face was just as worried as Mike’s.

“Will” Mike’s mouth stayed open.

“Have you always had those stars in your eyes?” Will said, beaming at Mike who let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding then the teacher finally spoke.

“Alright, alright. Please step away from him, let him breathe.” He approached the lying boy and gestured with his hands for the others to get back. The circle around Will grew larger, but Mike didn’t move an inch. “Come on Mike-“

“No!” Mike yelled, his eyes not leaving Will who closed his eyes but did not opened them again. Now Mike was scared. His head snapped in the teacher’s direction. He couldn’t understand how the man could stay so calm when his best friend was, in Mike’s mind, clearly dying. “Call an ambulance, dipshit!” Mike spat out. This comment would’ve normally cause him trouble but the situation made the teacher brush it off.

From then on until the hospital, Will went from conscious to unconscious every 5 minutes. Flash of red and blue, and a warm hand in his was all he could manage to remember from the ride to the hospital. Something freezing entered his veins then blackout again, this time for hours.

The sound of the heart monitor echoed in the room. The half-open door let footsteps of people and doctors be heard in the room. After an hour of pacing the room Mike had finally sat down in the chair next to Will’s bed. Joyce, who had arrived only a couple minutes after the ambulance, had offered to give Mike a ride home. He politely refused and insisted on being there as well. She sat in next to Mike whose leg’s was bouncing up and down.

Will’s pulse raising could be heard through the monitor. Both Mike and Joyce looked up. His heart beat kept going up, making so much noise in the room until he jolted awake and his heart slowed down as his breathing deepened. The lanky boy quickly stood up and the petite woman threw herself in her son’s arms. Will barely had the time to process what was happening.

“Hi,” she said, her hands on each side of his face. “I’m gonna get the nurse” she kissed his forehead then left.

Will looked around the room and his eyes met Mike’s. He got closer to the bed. Will scooted over a little in the white sheets, to let his oldest friend sit. “What happened?” Will asked watching him get on the hospital bed.

“You passed out in math class” Mike said calmly, looking at his feet.

“I told you math was boring” Will chuckled. Mike stayed quiet. Will was frowning. “hey... it’s okay, I’m ok—”

“I’m sorry” He almost whispered. How can Mike be sorry? Will inflicted this to himself, he was the one self-destructing. “I haven’t been there for you lately” Will shook his head.

“No, it’s not- you didn’t have to be” Will tried to reassure him.

“Yes I did! I’m your best friend a-and I haven’t acted like I am in these past few months. I should’ve played d&d with you, I should’ve gone to the movies more often, I shouldn’t have respected that fucking curfew, and stayed longer with you guys, ugh” Will stayed silent while Mike was word-vomiting and he wasn’t done yet. “Maybe… If I had been there for you, with you, you wouldn’t have…”

“I did not die, Mike”

“You could’ve!” Mike finally looked up.

“You can’t die from sleep deprivation” Will said, avoiding Mike’s gaze.

“If given enough time, sleep deprivation can kill you”

“Yeah, well, I would’ve stop before that. I wouldn’t have gone this far” Will said.

“How am I supposed to know that?” The room fell silent. They both became really aware of the beep coming from the machine. They held each other’s gaze before Mike broke it and looked at the catheter in Will’s left hand. “Why did you even start doing that?”

A couple more seconds of silence before Will’s shaky voice whispered “Nightmares…”

“That bad?” Mike said, worried.

Will stayed still. He couldn’t go back there. Talking about it would mean bring the dark into the light. But he was scared that the dark would swallow the light. A single tear fell down his red cheek. “You have no idea”

They got interrupted by the nurse and Joyce coming back. She checked his vitals, and the doctor prescribed him sleeping pills and vitamins. Will had to stay the night at the hospital to make sure he got some sleep before going home. Mike wanted to stay but as soon as Jonathan arrived Joyce insisted on giving him a ride home.

The next day, at school, Mike explained everything to Lucas, Dustin and Max, who hadn’t been in the same class that period. They wanted to visit him or something but Dustin pointed out that it would be better if they let him rest. That evening he went to the cabin to talk to El. She had heard about the news from Hopper, who had talked to Joyce. They didn’t talk much that evening –not that they usually did, they much preferred making out– instead Mike simply laid his head on El’s lap and cried. If he rationalized all of the events, it wasn’t that bad –not upside down kind of bad- but for some reason he needed to cry. El simply stroked his hair and waited for him to calm down.

Weeks passed and Will’s nightmares were never mentioned after that. He stopped forcing himself to stay awake to avoid any other incident. He simply accepted the fact that he’ll live the rest of his life waking up swimming in his own tears and sweat, with his heart out of his body and burning lungs.

While Will’s nightmares stayed the same, a lot of things changed in he and his friends lives. Mike and El broke up. Contrary to popular believes, they were okay, not sad. Hopper and Joyce started dating which meant that not one but two people were added to his family. His brother went to college. El started going to school with them and they started high school. They met Suzie once.

The first time it happened, no one paid attention to it, because it could’ve happened to anybody. I could simply have been a coincidence. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t.

They were all six in Mike’s basement, a dumb movie on the television that nobody was even watching. It was more of a background noise. The girls were on the sofa. El was braiding Max’s hair. She had gotten quite good at it now. She used to train on herself or even on Will at home. She couldn’t anymore because his hair wasn’t as long.

They now had been living together for 2 years. At first it was weird. Will wasn’t used to living with a girl, he had always known what having a brother was like but El felt completely different. Sure, his mother is a woman but it’s not the same. However, they quickly connected, and became quite the pair.

Dustin, Mike and Lucas played Uno on the floor and Will was sat against the sofa, drawing the scene. If El had gotten quite good at braiding hair, Will’s drawing skills exploded expectations. He actually considered, once or twice, studying art when he’s done with high school. After all, every great artist is a little messed up, right?

His eyes were right on the boys, so it wasn’t hard for him to notice Mike cheating by hiding a card beneath another one to get rid of it. His eyes went back to his drawing. He wasn’t going to say anything but before he knew it his mouth opened and started talking except, his voice echoed and mixed with someone else’s.

“Mike, you cheated I saw you. Cheating is bad.” El and Will’s voices became one as they speak at the same time. The exact same sentence. Words for words.

They immediately looked at each other -confusion painted on both of the teen’s face- and so did the rest of the party.

“Wow, that was weird.” Max said. But weirdness to it was brushed off when Dustin replied.

“You guys spend too much time with each other, you’re starting to sound like the twins from the shining.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you cheated Mike. Take seven more cards” Lucas said changing the subject.

“SEVEN! That’s harsh, I already have 20 in my hand!” Mike said dramatically.

The evening went back to normal after that. Except for the glances between Mike and Will, here and there. But it had become their normal at this point.

Will knew he’s had a crush on his best friend since forever. But recently he wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t just a crush anymore. Will was pretty sure he was in love with Mike. He used to shiver when their hands touch, now he craved his touch. He would’ve blushed if they ended up being really close, now his entire body radiated heat. Being with Mike used to give him butterfly in his stomach, now whenever he was around he could feel firework in his chest.

Those feelings he kept them deep, deep, down in his heart. It wasn’t just out of the fear of rejection but also because those feelings became so strong that, sometimes at night, if they were buried deep enough, beneath the darkness, he could use them to block the nightmares away for a couple hours. And it was good enough. Until it became the worst.

Like every night, Will brushed his teeth in the bathroom with El before going to bed. Sometimes Will would go into the bathroom and start laughing, remembering that time where he and his sister had a toothpaste fight. Joyce was not happy about it. But it was still one of his favorite memories. When they finished, they said goodnight to each other then go to their respective room to sleep.

When he woke up from a nightmare he’d always try to not scream or breathe too loud so he wouldn’t wake anyone. And so far it had worked. After living together for so long Will was surprised that El hadn’t find out about his nightmares. He had lived with his mother and Jonathan for way longer than that but he came to the conclusion that somehow he and her, were connected somehow. He assumed it had something to do with the upside down, because they had both gone there. But then again that didn’t make sense either because Nancy, his mom and even Hopper had been there. And he definitely didn’t share that bond with any of them.

Once in his room he settled on his bed. After reading a comic book or two he drifted to sleep. No darkness in sight. Will felt so relieved when he saw freckles. It was going to be one of those extremely rare night where he could enjoy his feelings, show them, feel them, embraced them. In those dreams it was just him and Mike, floating through time and space, sharing body heat as their limbs tangled, mixing green and brown, hearts beating in sync.

That’s how it usually went.

Will was so caught up in happiness that he didn’t notice everything losing its color and brightness. Dark smoke lurked on the floor, spreading in Will’s mind. He started to worry when he felt Mike’s skin getting colder. He looked up at his now freckle-less white face. His hair was darker than usual, and his nails had grown an inch. Will felt them scratch his back. Will’s big green eye looked for Mike’s but he couldn’t find them. Mike’s face features disappeared. It wasn’t Mike, its legs and arms grew lankier. The only thing will could feel at this moment was fear and the Thing’s nails digging in his back, making him bleed.

He turned his head to find the real Mike sat in the corner of his room, hugging his knees. He looked terrified. In the blink of an eye, his and Mike’s body had switched. He was now the one in the corner watching the creature torturing his best friend. He could not move. He was petrified. He could only scream, but the sound didn’t want to come out. His vocal chords were about to explode, yet no sound came out, like he was under water.

Soon the pale body of friend became lifeless and his greyish skin became dark red liquid. The bloody mess in front of him felt like hours. When there was nothing left of Mike the nightmares started all over again. Again and again and again, until Will’s body couldn’t take it and shocked him awake.

At the same time, in the room down the hall. El woke up sweating.

Will almost let out a scream that nigh. This nightmare was so much more traumatizing than the thousands others he’d had. He took a couple of seconds to calm himself, it felt so real. The cold, the thing, Mike. Mike. Will threw himself out of bed. He stumbled on the floor and thought for a second. What was he gonna do anyway? Then it struck him. El.

He opened his door as fast as he could. He was about to go to El’s room and pond on her door. But he didn’t have to because as soon as he looked up his eyes met hers. She was on her way to his room. They stood there for a minute, until he broke the silence.

“Sorry, I woke you up” Will whispered. Though he could’ve sworn he didn’t scream.

“No. I just-” Her gaze wandered to the floor, thinking. “Are you okay?” She asked now looking at him in the eyes.

“Yes, I just” He saw her frowning then realized that lying to her won’t lead him anywhere. “Actually, no and I need your help” He took her wrist in his hand and yanked her into his room.

He closed the door behind them and led her to his bed. They sat down. Will took a deep breath before speaking.

“I need you to find Mike.” He handed her his walkie-talkie and a scarf. She took a moment to think. She did not hesitate; she knew Will was being serious she could feel it. She looked around the room, and stopped when she found his radio. She stood up walked towards it.

“It’ll work better with this” She said turning it on and choosing a channel with statics. She came back on the bed, sat legs crossed, in front of her adoptive brother.

It didn’t take too long because El knew exactly where to find him. Her mind traveled into the void, where she found Mike sleeping in his bed.

“I found him” She said.

“Is he okay?” Will asked. Her feet splashed the water as she walked towards him. He was asleep and looked peaceful.

“He’s asleep” She answered. Will saw a flash of his nightmare when he blinked.

“Are you sure? Is he breathing?” Will starting to get paranoid. The brunette took he blind fold off. She looked at Will who was shaking. She took his hands in hers, trying to calm him down. He looked down at their hands.

He’s okay. She thought.

“How can you be so sure?” He said.

“Wait you heard me say that?” She looked muddled.

“Well yeah, you just spoke” Now Will was confused. She took his chin and made him look at her.

Actually, I didn’t. She thought.

What the fuck? He thought. His eyes widened.

Yeah, what the fuck. She slowly nodded with eyes as big as his.

They waited a couple of seconds, their minds blank. Then El looked back at the radio.

“Do you trust me?” She asked. Getting closer to him.

“Of course, always” He said sincerely. She nodded and put the blindfold in his hand. She figured he’d need it more than her, as she was used to doing it. He hesitated for a second. What she was implying meant that he… but then again how do you explain what just happened between them? So he took it and tied it behind his head and relaxed. El linked their hands. He could hear her clearly in his mind.

Okay, relax and concentrate on the statics. Let it enter your head. Now think about Mike. It’s easier when you know the person and where to find them in the first place.

Okay.

El did it as well and tried her best to guide him to find the void. After some concentration and El’s help, Will opened his eyes to see, nothing but El. Her body was clear but the rest was nothingness, except for the inch of water beneath his feet. Smithereens of memories came to him. This place he had seen it before. A couple of years ago when he went missing in the upside down, El came to him, in castle Byers. And for a moment he saw that place.

“It worked!” Will couldn’t believe it. He saw El nodding, a big smile on her face.

He turned around and saw Mike’s bed. As he approached it, his vision got clearer. He saw Mike fast asleep. The mess of his hair on his pillow, and some stands of it stuck on his forehead. His lips looked wet, like he had been drooling. His right cheek was red and had the impression of his pillow on it. He looked more than okay.

His hand tried to reach for Mike but El intercepted his wrist. “It doesn’t work like that here” She said, letting go of him. He looked confused but then she waved her hand through Mike and he turned into smoke which disappeared quickly after that.

He took the blindfold off and suddenly felt tiered. He watched El getting back to herself, their eyes met and you could read on both their face. Holy shit, that just happened! Will didn’t feel it but realized what it was when this metallic taste run on his lips. He brought his fingers to his nose. Bloody fingers.

The next day at school, when greeting everyone Will hugged Mike. Taken aback at first, Mike proceeded to putt his arms around Will. As soon as Will felt him reciprocate the embrace, he tightened his grip. They stayed in each other’s arms for a bit too long, forgetting their friends standing aside. Will’s head rested on Mike’s chest, able to hear his heart beat. He sighted in his friend blue sweater. He put one hand on one of Will’s shoulder and pushed it a little allowing both of them to look at each other.

“Is everything alright?” Mike said raising one eyebrow. Will opened his mouth, looked around them suddenly aware of their friends looking at them. He pulled away, put his hands on the straps of his backpack.

“Y-Yeah, sorry” He chuckled. Mike gave him a playful look.

Dustin, from behind, put his arms around both of his friends. He walked between them, making them follow him. “Come on lovebirds, we’re gonna be late for class, and science doesn’t wait!” He said a bit too loud. Mike laughed and shook his head while Will blushed and looked at his feet trying not to trip.

He was grateful that El didn’t mention last night at school. As much as it was exciting to discover that Will might have powers and that they could now communicate by thought, if Will wanted to reveal their discovery, he’d have to explain the context and he’d rather not. That didn’t mean that they didn’t talk about it or rather think about it.

In English class they sat next to each other. The teacher asked them to read a passage of “To Kill a Mockingbird”, the book they were studying this year. Everyone was silent the only sound in the classroom was the turning pages.

Ugh this is so boring! He thought, looking up at the ceiling.

It’s not that bad. El responded.

Shit! I forgot you could hear every of my thought. Will looked at her.

Not every single one. She felt his eyes on her so she looked back at him.

You’re sure? How can you tell? Do you think we can control it?

Okay slow down you’re drowning my brain with all your thoughts. She raised her eyebrows and closed her eyes for a bit.

Sorry. He pinched his lips

I mean I don’t know for sure, but I’m pretty sure you were thinking something when you hugged Mike this morning. But I couldn’t hear anything. So there must be a way to control it. We just don’t know how yet. Will blushed, trying to block every thoughts of Mike he could have right now in case El could hear, or see.

You’re right, we’ve been living without hearing each other’s thoughts before. I guess it got activated somehow. Will tried his best to smoothly avoid the subject of Mike. Especially with her.

Probably.

“Are you guys okay? You’ve been staring at each other for the past two minutes” Lucas interrupted them. Both of them turned towards Lucas.

“Brother-sister rivalry” Will spat out. El nodding fanatically behind Will.

“Right…” Lucas squinted his eyes.

Lunch period conversation started with everyone complaining about their upcoming tests, then shifted to small other subjects. Sometimes Will or El would comment something in their mind and the other would try not to start laughing. While the others kept arguing on whether Batman or Superman was stronger, Mike turned to Will who was toying with his pudding, it looked weird and unappealing.

“Hey Will, I um, I was wondering if you wanted to go back to my house to help me with something?” Mike said, watching his fingers playing with the hem of his sweater.

“Yeah sure! How do you want me- I-I mean what do you need me for?” Will stuttered. His ears reddened with embarrassment. Really smooth Will! He thought to himself. El couldn’t help but smile.

Yeah real smooth Byers. He could almost hear her giggle. She read the realization on his face. That’s fine you know, we don’t have to figure out how this works today, if you want to go; go ahead.

“Just to help me with a campaign I’m working on” Mike said.

“You’re working on a campaign?” He sounded surprised. “We haven’t played d&d for years” Will said.

“Yeah, I know. I just, thought it’d be nice to play one more time. Nostalgia, y’know” Mike said grabbing apple and took a bite.

“Nostalgia.” Will repeated, smiling. Their eyes stayed locked on each other for a moment making them both smile.

“What about Wonder Woman?” Max said.

“What? No she can’t-” Lucas starting to say.

“Oh! Because she’s a girl you think she wouldn’t win?!” Max interrupted him. Her eyebrows were raised above her big blue eyes.

“Yes” Lucas started saying but Max’s ‘are you kidding me’ face, made him explain. “I mean, yes she wouldn’t win but NOT because she’s a woman” He said using his hands in the air unconsciously to make himself clearer.

“Right.” She rolled her eyes and sat back against the chair. By then Mike and Will were back in the conversation to witness the couple argue. The bell rang and Max sat up quickly and walked towards the cafeteria’s exit doors. El followed her giving the boys an apologetic look.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” Lucas said his head in his hands.

“Yep” Dustin said.

“Oh, totally” Mike said patting his friend’s shoulder.

“Sorry, dude” Will said, shrugging. All three stood up and left.

After the last bell of the day rang, the party went their different way home. Will following Mike. They playfully raced each other for a minute, then Mike looped around Will until they both passed in front of each other, creating an invisible DNA shape on the road.

They left their bikes outside, next to the Wheelers’ car. Karen’s probably, Will thought. They entered through the basement door. Will knew this room like the back of his hand. He had so many good memories here. A couple of bad ones, but it was nothing compared to the 10 hours afternoons spent playing games or watching movies.

Mike closed the door behind them and was heading towards the couch. Will looked around the room and noticed one of his drawing on the wall. He wasn’t a stranger to seeing his drawing here. Since he started drawing he always gave Mike some of them, and he liked them so much that he’d hang them everywhere in the house. Once he put one or two on the fridge without saying anything to anybody, and for at least 5 month Karen Wheeler thought her son was some kind of art prodigy.

As Will got closer to the art piece on the wall, he realized it was a recent one. It was the one he did when the boys were playing Uno and Mike had cheated. He forgot about it and left it there. Mike probably assumed Will left it for him and hung it.

“You’re still hanging those?” Will asked, pointing at the paper sheet. Mike turned around to face him. His fingers dropped from his lips.

“Um? Oh yeah, always” Mike said, like it was the thing he was the surest in the world. Will beamed at that. “I mean, it makes the place friendlier” Mike bit his lips, his tone made the sentence sound like he was trying to convince himself. Will chuckled and nodded.

“Mike? Is that you?” A feminine voice came from upstairs.

“No mom, it’s Santa Claus. Yeah it’s me!” He yelled back. The basement door opened.

“Michael! What did I tell you ab- oh, Will!” She looked surprised. Her voice went from sharp to sweet as soon as she noticed Will.

“Hi Ms. Wheeler” He answered politely. “I hope I’m not bothering you”

“Oh, don’t be silly, of course not!” She waved her hand. “Are you staying for dinner?” She asked calmly. Her voice was low and friendly. Will looked at Mike then back at the woman.

“Um, thanks but I think my mom wants me home tonight.” He told her. He knew that if he stayed for dinner Mike would ask him to stay the night. He would’ve loved to, but he told El they’d try to figure out their mind connection, and he didn’t want to scare or worry Mike with his nightmares.

“Okay, does she know you’re here or do you want me to make a call?” She turned her shoulder to the kitchen.

“No it’s fine. I’m sure El told her already”

“Well then, there are snacks in the kitchen if either of you is hungry. I’ll be in the living room if you need me” She smiled.

“Okay thanks mom” Mike said as she closed the door.

Mike kneeled down and looked through a bunch of tapes laying around next to his radio. He picked up the one labeled ‘For Mike’. A couple years back Will really got into music, thanks to his brother who introduced him to a couple of his favorite bands and from then Will’s music taste grew and now he sometimes made Jonathan listen to music he had never heard of. One day he decided to make a mixtape for each of his friends, which they all appreciated and surprisingly all loved. It’s like Will knew exactly what songs would fit his friends’ personalities.

“Wait, I’ve actually made you a new one” He let his backpack slid along his arms. He zipped it open and took out a small tape. This one had ‘Mixtape update x’ written on it. He handed it to Mike, their fingers brushed for a moment.

“Thanks” Mike said smiling. He took a second to look at it closely. He noticed his name wasn’t written on it. Maybe he made the same for everyone this time. “Is this one also different from the others’?” He asked looking up.

“What?” Will looked a little lost.

“My name’s not on it, so I thought that maybe you made the same for everyone this time.” Mike clarified.

“Oh. No, actually I only made one for you” Will confessed, a little embarrassed, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh.” Mike’s smiled could be heard in his voice. After a second of smiling, Mike slid the tape in the radio. Soft upbeat getting louder, leading up to Tiffany’s voice singing. Mike chortled, recognizing the song ‘I think we’re alone now’. “Quite fitting” He said, standing up.

“Yeah, well, not every song on this is a masterpiece. Sometimes there are just nice an-” Will spoke really fast and didn’t see Mike walk towards him. He took both his hands in his which made Will stop talking.

“Hey, I like it” He reassured the smaller boy.

Will’s lips parted; his eyes looking at Mike’s loving gaze, through his eyelashes. They were so close their chest could almost touch. Mike’s thumb stroked the back of Will’s hand. Will was now painfully aware of his heart beating faster. Just like in the song in the background, there was a tension building between them. Then the chorus hit and Mike started lip syncing.

“I think we’re alone now” He made faces as he silently sang. Will failed to hide his smile by pinching his lips together.

“Doesn’t seem to be anyone around” Mike moved his shoulders up and down to the rhythm. The green eyed boy slowly shook his head.

“I think we’re alone now” He nodded his head, moving their liked hands above their heads, encouraging Will to join him. He only responded with big eyes and a small smirk. The immediately sang the next part.

“The beating of our hearts is the only sound” Will dramatically grabbed his shirt over his heart. They both laughed then continued to dance and sing along the 1987 pop song. Throwing limps, jumping up and down until the very last note.

The next song started playing and Will felt nervous. He could not, for the love of him, sing ‘Can’t fight this feeling’ to Mike. It held way too much meaning.

“So, um about that campaign” He said bringing Mike’s attention to him and away from the song.

“Oh, uh yeah” He scratched the back of his head. “I kinda lied.” His nose wrinkled up.

“Why?” Will wasn’t sad about the campaign but rather confused as to Mike lied. “I would’ve come anyway.”

“I- sorry that was stupid” Mike said, sitting down on the couch.

“Not stupid, pointless maybe.” He teased. He followed him on the couch.

“It’s just that we haven’t properly hang out in a long time, and I mean we as in you and me not the party. Not that I don’t wanna hang out with the others. It’s just that we- and I ugh” Mike started to get frustrating. He couldn’t phrase properly what he meant. Will placed his hand on top of Mike’s. Sliding it off as soon as he got his attention.

“I missed you too” He said softly. Mike smiled. They sat, their backs flat against the couch, head thrown back looking at the ceiling.

Their hands were so close on the couch, fingers almost touching. They stayed silent for at least 30 seconds. None of them daring to move. The song in the background became louder and louder in Will’s mind. Quite fitting. What Mike had said only minutes ago, echoed in his mind. After all, if Will had to describe or explain his feelings for Mike he’d give that song as an answer.

The silence became anxiety. Will begged in his mind for Mike to say something. He was about to break this heartbeat raising silence when he felt Mike’s thin fingers slowly overlapping his. He waited a couple of seconds before moving his towards him. Will’s heart beat for a total different reason but didn’t slowdown nonetheless.

And just like in a movie, their fingers intertwined at the very moment the chorus started. Like their hands they became one. Their breathing and heartbeats synchronized with each other. Mike tightened his grip and Will responded by doing so, as well. Euphoria ran through their bodies, and drew the biggest smiles on their faces.

Mike turned his face to look at Will as a reassurance that this was real and not a dream. Will after fearing this was all a hallucination decided to look at him. He saw his best friend smile like he never saw him smile before. They probably looked so dumb beaming at each other but Will didn’t care. He felt all warm and fuzzy inside, he slid down the couch, smiling. Mike followed him and put his head on Will’s shoulder.

They stayed like this for the rest of the song, and the next one, and the next one. After about 20 minutes of comfortable silence they got back to talking. The conversation not mentioning their still linked hands or addressing the situation whatsoever.

He met Hopper on the way home. He parked his truck right next to his mom’s green car. He got off his bike as the sheriff got out his car.

“Hey, kiddo” He greeted him, opening the front door.

“Hi Hop!” He ran inside.

They came home right on time for dinner. Joyce was in the kitchen finishing to season the salad. El was setting the table. Will put his backpack on the floor and hung his coat next to Jim’s. He walked passed El, smiled at her, and entered the kitchen to greet his mom.

“Hi mom” He said happiness all over his face. “I’ll go help El for the table do you need me to do anything else?”

“Hi honey, um no I’m finished thank you” She sounded a bit surprised. He went back to El and finished setting the table, humming a song while doing so. Joyce and Jim shared a look, both clueless of why he was acting so weird.

“Someone’s in a good mood” Jim said, looking at an almost dancing Will. He turned to Joyce. “Where was he coming back from? I met him in the way home.” He asked.

“Mike’s” Joyce simply answered. She picked up the salad bowl and brought it on the table.

“I see” Jim nodded.

Joyce wasn’t the best cook in the world but she tried. Her cooking skilled improve a lot since Hopper and El moved in. Jim was actually really good at cooking and Joyce picked up on some cooking techniques.

After everyone was finished Jim proposed to do the dishes, which no one disagreed to. The parents planed on watching tv for the evening but El and Will had other things in mind. They went back to El’s bedroom.

“Okay, what do we start with?” Will said. She went to her desk and picked up a green pen. She put it flat against the wooden desk.

“Try to make it levitate.” She said.

He looked at it, lying there. He got a bit closer. He took a deep breath and concentrated. He focused his entire mind on it. He even tried to put his hand in the air like she did. Nothing. It did not move an inch.

“I can’t” Will said, his arm falling.

“Try to visualize it floating, like it’s the only thing you want.” She encouraged him, not to give up.

Will tried again. Following her advice. He closed his eyes again. He felt energy around him. The more he concentrated the more he felt it. At one point he realized that the energy was actually coming from him. It felt like a halo all around him. He was so used to darkness that light coming from him felt unfamiliar. He opened his eyes to check if the pen was floating. He couldn’t see because of how bright the room had become. His eyes adjusted, the pen was still on the desk but the room stayed brighter than it usually was. Will looked around and saw El looking between him and the three lights in the room. He fully came back to himself and stopped concentrating. The three lights faded to come back to their usual amount of glow.

Will felt drained. Blood ran down his nostrils. El handed him a tissue. He wiped his nose and sat down in her desk chair. The door opened and Hopper entered looking alerted.

“El what’s going on? The lights went crazy in the lounge and in the kitchen” He said.

“That… wasn’t me” El couldn’t lie. Sometimes to protect others she would, but she avoided hiding the truth. Jim’s eyes went from El to Will who held a blooded tissue. He weakly smiled. Then Hopper said.

“You have-

-POWERS!?” Dustin shouted.

“Sshhh, stop shouting” Will said, nervously looking around them.

“How did you find out?” Mike asked.

“He made the lights go crazy in the entire house” El said excitedly.

“Can you show us?” Max asked curious.

“Not in here” Will responded.

“Do you also bleed like El?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah” Will nodded.

The conversation went on like that for the next 10 minutes. Random question followed by a quick response by either El or Will, mainly Will. After the bell rang, the went their way to their class. Mike followed Will and put his headphones on Will’s head. He recognized the mixtapes he gave Mike the other day. ‘Don’t you (forget about me)’ currently playing.

“You like it?” Will said a bit too loud. He took off the headphones and gave them back to Mike. “Sorry”

“I love it actually. I listened to it all yesterday.” Mike said smiling. They walked close to each other; their hands sometimes bumping into each other, and once or twice one of them would linger the touch. They didn’t even notice or acknowledge Lucas and Max walking behind them.

“All of it! There are like one and a half hour worth of songs on there.” Will said looking at Mike.

“Oh I know” Mike responded. They were so caught up in their conversation that it only struck Will that they were headed to geography.

“Mike you don’t have geography with me…” Will frowned and his eyes narrowed.

“No why?” Mike was clueless.

“Because we’re Friday and I have geography class first period”

“Oh shit, um Friday, yeah Advanced English, got it bye” He almost went to kiss Will’s cheek but chickened out at the last moment, then left running. Will laughed. “Idiot” He whispered.

Electrokinesis was what Dustin called it. After Will showed the party what he could do, Dustin helped him research information on the subject. El helped him by training. He’d also do it by himself but found more motivation by doing it with someone. Once he learned how to control it and manage his energy, they tried other things.

El had more than one powers, and Will had been able to travel in the void as well. Their search material was primarily comic books. Who could blame them? They were still kids in a way and all they knew about superpowers came from there. Lucas had made a list of characters with electrokinesis or powers along those lines. From there they tried all the other powers those characters had. It turned out to be a good idea because that’s how they discovered that he could influence the weather. Mainly make it rain or create a small storm.

He could also control electronics, which was convenient to turn on and off the radio or the tv. He was basically a walking remote. He could also connect his mind to certain channel or amplify signals.

All those discoveries took place throughout a week, and at the weekend that followed left Will alone in the house. Joyce and Hopper decided to go on a romantic weekend in a lake house three hours away from Hawkins, for their anniversary. With El at Max’s for a sleepover and Jonathan still in college, Will was on his own.

Mike had suggested a sleepover but as always Will refused. It had started to raise Mike’s suspicions. Will always insisted on not staying, saying he didn’t want to bother, or that he slept better at his house; which obviously were lies. This time he pretexted to have homework he had to work on.

He ate his microwaved diner sat alone watching some boring shows on television. It was quite sad actually; being all alone. He made the light brighter, trying to make the place feel more alive. But it still felt cold.

He had been so happy this past week. So happy that he could almost forget the nightmares. Almost. They always came back at night. But they seemed to be less scary as time passed. Will thought that maybe they finally grew on him and that meant that he could potentially have a good night of sleep soon.

He didn’t.

He was trapped in his mind again. This endless circle of darkness and feeling trapped. The feeling of pure cold through his body. The line between reality and his mind had become almost nonexistent.

Mike having the starring role this time. Sometimes by being the victim of his nightmares, or sometimes, and frankly Will couldn’t tell which was worse, by acting as his nightmares.

Will told himself that it wasn’t Mike speaking. It wasn’t his voice he was hearing. It wasn’t his words cutting scars in his heart. It wasn’t his spit hitting his face. It wasn’t his hands pushing him to the ground. It wasn’t his feet kicking his ribs. But as his vision blurred, so did the truth and he started to believe it.

The nightmare went back and forth for hours. From seeing Mike getting tortured, to being tortured by Mike, to watching Mike getting tortured to-

Will for the first time in such a long agonizing time woke up screaming. It kind of felt therapeutic but he couldn’t tell at the time. He had contained himself for so long that he kept on screaming and crying for five minutes. Warm almost burning tears against his frozen cheeks.

He clenched his fists in the bedsheets and kept the covers so close to his torso. He wanted to pull his eyes out to stop the tears. He screamed so loud he swore he felt his ear-drum vibrate. He let out so much of untold feeling he broke a couple of light bulbs.

When he stopped shouting. The silence was almost deafening. His wet eyelashes met his wet cheeks and his chest rose slowly. That’s when it clicked. He didn’t want to be alone. He felt so scared, even awake. He suddenly had the urge to be held and comforted. Without thinking about it twice he grabbed his Supercom and sat on the bed.

A couple of years ago he wouldn’t have been able to reach him. He lived too far away. But now that wasn’t a problem anymore. Will concentrated, which considering the circumstances was pretty hard to do, to amply the signals of his Supercom for it to reach Mike’s. He felt so weak, so were his words through the machine.

“Mike…” It almost came out as a whisper. “Mike… it’s Will… really… you” Will was drained, he barely had any energy left so the signal kept breaking. ”… -ease … up… Mike” Will was about to give up when Mike finally picked up.

“Will is… you? …-at’s wrong?”

“Please come.” With those last words Will stopped broadcasting his message. He fell back, his head hitting the pillow.

Mike had no idea of what happened. He only knew one thing Will needed him. He didn’t care that it was 3:27am. He got up, took his shoes and coat and hopped on his bike. One the way to Will’s house, a lot went through Mike’s mind. Did Will get attacked? Was the Mind Flayer back? Was Will hurt? When the house came in sight, he almost tripped getting off his bike. He knocked on Will’s window first then went up to the front door to keep pounding.

The door opened. By itself. That was new. Mike entered threw his coat and shoes on the floor. He saw smithereens of light bulbs everywhere next to the lamps. He felt anxiety build in his stomach. He ran to Will’s bedroom; the door was already opened. He almost didn’t want to go in, scared of what he might find.

What he actually found was Will throwing himself in Mike’s arms. He was shaking and sweating yet felt so cold. Automatism took over. He hugged him so tight, brought his hands up Wills hair, his cheek against the trembling boy’s temple. Will clenched his fists in Mike’s pajamas shirt. He could feel his nails dig in his shoulders, not caring if it left a mark. Will pushed forward and held onto Mike like his life depended on it.

“Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Will said in the crook of Mike’s neck.

“I’m not going anywhere” Mike’s hands slid up and downs Will’s back calming him down. They stayed like that for a moment. Their bodies slightly rocking from right to left.

Mike pulled away just enough to see Will’s face. He placed his hand on his left cheek, and wiped away tears with his thumb. Will melted in his touch, closing his eyes. Mike took his hands and led them to the bed. He laid Will down bringing the covers up to his chest. He pulled away and Will first instinct in his worried and scared state, was to grab Mike’s wrist.

“Hey…, I’m coming back. I’m just getting you some water.” Mike spoke softly. Will nodded and slowly loosened his grip, letting him go. Mike walked to the kitchen. Will turned his head to the window noticing the rain. He wondered if Mike had to bike all the way here under the rain, but he didn’t look or felt wet.

Mike came back with the water he closed the door behind him. He put the glass down, on the bedside table. Will suddenly felt thirsty, like his throat had become sand. He drank half of it in exactly three seconds. Mike watched him swallow the water, sat beside him, on the bed.

“Stay the night. Please.” Will asked.

“Of course” Mike didn’t even think about it. Just like he didn’t think about getting a sleeping bag. He automatically slid in the covers next to Will, which was exactly what he needed right now. Closeness, comfort, warmth and… love.

For a second, they were lying next to each other only their sides touching. It felt a little bit awkward. The bed wasn’t that big but not too small either. They could fit both. However, it wasn’t the most comfortable position.

“Do you want me to-”

“Just hold me please” Will said quickly; interrupting him. Mike did as he was told and put his arm around the boy. Will immediately felt safer. Will curled up into Mike. His head on his chest, the beating of his heart calming him down. Their legs intertwined. They were like two jigsaw pieces, fitting perfectly into each other like they were made to. Like their body were made based of each other’s.

Mike tightened his embrace to press their bodies closer. Will buried his face in the crook of his neck and nuzzled in the warmth. He hadn’t feel this at peace in a very long time. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt this way. Steady breathing against his neck, Mike got a little nervous. Every breath sending shivers down his spine. To stop himself from thinking about it too much, Mike found something to keep his mind busy. He brought his hands to Will’s head and ran his fingers through chestnut hair.

“Is this okay?” He whispered.

“Very” Will said. They stayed like that for a moment. Mike thought Will had fallen asleep until he felt him move, his body was shaking, he was crying again.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Mike ran his hands on his back then heard Will mumble something near his ear.

“Mike… I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Will sobbed. Hearing this broke Mike’s heart. His best friend was in his arms sobbing. How could he had let this happen? Why didn’t he pick up on Will’s behavior sooner?

“Hey, you’re not gonna loose me. It was just a bad dream” His hand was on his cheek, his thumb wiping the tears away. Will was so terrified that this could be the beginning of yet another nightmare.

“How do I know this is real?” He looked at his face. “How do I know you’re real?” Their eyes met, watching each other like they were looking directly at the other’s soul. Only looking away to get a glimpse of lips.

“I’m real.” Mike held Will’s face. He felt his own heart beat in his ear and if he paid enough attention he could feel Will’s as well. He leaned in so their noses could touch. The tip of his nose caressed Will’s. “And so is this.” And with one final movement forward their lips collided. Their eyes closed almost immediately. Mike’s hand moved to the back of Will’s neck and brought him closer.

Will felt his heart explode in his chest. Firework of feelings finally allowed to exist outside of his mind. The kiss felt like a breath of fresh air. Like Mike’s lips were the oxygen Will needed, to keep living. Paradoxically, their lips moved together until Will noticed that he wasn’t breathing. Mike pulled away briefly, nuzzled Will’s nose, making him understand that he had to breathe through his nose. It seemed logic but this was technically his first kiss.

After they both caught their breath, Mike kissed him a second time. The boy beneath him let out the tiniest whimper and Mike took it as a greenlight to deepen the kiss. He took his bottom lip in his own, bit down softly, enough to make Will’s mouth open a little bit wider. He slid his tongue inside and kissed him passionately. This new foreign sensation drove Will crazy. He brought his hands in Mike’s hair and clenched his fist in his dark locks. He wasn’t expecting Mike’s reaction. It being a moan and shaky breathing against his cheek. Euphoria ran through Will’s veins.

He smiled against Mike’s lips, who pulled away, breathing heavily. Will kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to open them to find that Mike regretted what they had done. The only sound in the room was their breathing slowing down. When he finally decided to open his eyes, he was relied to find Mike lovingly staring at him. Will couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t felt so alive for god knows when.

They didn’t talk. They didn’t have to. Simply staring at each other was enough. After studying carefully Will’s pupils Mike brought their bodies together on last time before sleep took over both of them.

Moonlight became sunlight, bright warmth caressing their silhouettes in the sheets. Mike was the first one to wake up. He had thought about going to the kitchen and making them breakfast. But then he looked at Will’s sleeping face and instead decided to stay in bed to stare at him. He was beautiful.

Mike had always found him pretty, but not to the point where his heart would beat at such an unsteady rhythm, until a couple of years back. The triggering point probably was Will’s disappearance, when they were 13. The thought of losing him and the idea that he’d have to live the rest of his life without him by his side was soul crushing. Then he came back and it felt like his heart could finally go back to make him feel alive.

The relationship he and Will had since they were little, had always been different from any other he had with anyone. As they grew older it became clearer that what they had should only be between them, hidden from the rest of the world.

Mike tried so hard to hide it that ended up hiding it from himself as well and slowly started to be distant. He quit playing d&d, started properly dating El and avoided at all cost being alone with Will. He was so scared that old habits would resurface.

Although, sometimes they did. He’d unconsciously put his arm around Will’s shoulder, take his hands to lead him somewhere or that one time, at the cinema, where Will’s pinky finger accidentally brushed against his and Mike instinctively intertwined them.

Mike felt Will move on his torso. The boy stretched his legs, and hit Mike’s lower stomach. He yawned, hugged Mike tighter and sighed, face buried in his neck. Mike was now aware that he had to get up although he didn’t want to, he needed to.

“Will” He said softly, voice raspy from the sleep. “Are you awake?” He asked.

“No” Will replied, sounding barely awake. Mike chucked.

“Will, I need to pee” Mike insisted. Will rose his head, with one eye closed he looked at Mike. The soft look on he wore made Will let out shaky breath. Last night wasn’t a dream, he was real. Mike tried to moved which reminded Will of how their body were pressed together. Did I sleep on him the entire night? He thought. He felt heat waves through his body and his ears starting to heat up.

“Fine” He fake groaned, lifting his body. He watched Mike get up and gave him a smile, he ruffled his hair, heading towards the bathroom.

Will fell back on the pillow and used the covers to hide his flushed face. He stayed under the covers a moment before he decided to get up. He heard Mike flushing the toilet then saw him come back to the room.

“You hungry?” He asked from the door frame.

“Uh, yeah” Will said. He followed Mike to the kitchen. Mike sat on the counter while Will looked through the cupboards.

“So, chef Byers what’s on the menu on this fine Sunday morning?” Mike playfully asked. Will chuckled.

“I can make pancake?” It came out more like a question.

“You can?” He sounded surprised.

“I mean Jonathan showed me once, but I never actually tried it myself…”

“How about I make us scrambled eggs?” He got off the counter and walked towards the fridge, grabbing the eggs.

“That’s probably a better idea, yeah” Will said.

Mike turned out to be a pretty good cook. He probably learned from his mom. This woman was the best cook in all Hawkins. Will had always loved it when he got to stay the night and eat dinner with the Wheelers.

They ate in silence, except for Will complimenting Mike’s cooking skills every five minutes. After they finished their eggs, Will got up to clear their plates. He put Them in the sink to wash later. He was about to turn around when he felt arms around his waist. He froze, the fork fell from his hand and hit the plate.

He inhaled quite sharply when he felt Mike’s lips against his nape. Shivers ran across his back when Mike actually placed a kiss there. He breathed deeply and his whole body relaxed. He tilted his head and felt a second kiss, this time lower and closer to his shoulder. Then another and another, Will turned around faster than his heartbeat and caught Mike’s lips. Grabbing onto his shirt bringing him down.

Kissing in the daylight felt different. Still enjoyable and mind blowing, but different. It felt like they were more vulnerable, more likely to be caught. They kissed until their lips turned crimson and their lungs felt empty. Will pulled away, hands still clutching onto the taller boy’s shirt. Suddenly insecurities came back haunting him.

“Mike I need to know if this is real…” He looked at his hands, avoiding Mike’s gaze.

“It is Will” Mike took Will’s face between his hands. Hoping touch would make him realize it was reality.

“No, I mean,” He looked up, locking their eyes. “I mean this, us” He whispered the last word feeling self-conscious for even saying it out loud. His eyes made movements from eyes to lips. Mike felt his heart sink.

“Of course!” Mike said. “I thought I made it clear, last night, that I like you” Mike looked at the floor and bit his lips.

“Right, I’m sorry” Will shook his head, eyes closed.

“Hey, no, don’t apologize!” Mike said, lifting Will’s chin to look at him.

“I like you too by the way” Will was expecting his heart to go wild but it didn’t. It stayed steady. Because he felt comfortable. Mike made him feel comfortable.

“I-I like you too” Mike said then instantly felt stupid repeating himself. It made Will smile and even chuckle.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Will asked.

“Only if I can kiss you on the couch” Mike said, smirking. He placed his hands on the counter trapping Will between his arms.

“Okay, Romeo” Will said, moving his arm to go under and led them to the living room.

They spent the afternoon watching movie they knew by heart, -mostly trying to get quotes right and recreating the dialogues- cuddling on the couch. A kiss here and there, but apart from that they remained the same. Throwing popcorns at each other while making fun of the characters being stupid at some point in the movie.

Mike was so caught up in making Will feel happy and at the same time making himself happy, that he forgot to phone his mom to tell her that he was at Will’s. While the boys were living the best afternoon in their life, Karen was worrying as to where her son had gone.

They were in their third movie when the phone in the kitchen rang. Will got up to answer and was surprised to hear Karen’s voice. After being informed that her son was there she demanded to speak to him. Will could hear Ms. Wheeler’s voice yelling at Mike through the phone. He apologized and promised to be home for dinner.

The credits of the fourth film scrolled down the screen. They stopped paying attention twenty minutes ago, deciding that cuddling was more interesting. A single blanket covering them. Holding hands, playing with hair, hugging, sharing warmth, kiss.

The front door opened, with no warning.

“-ha ha, very funny.” They both recognized Hopper’s sarcastic tone. He entered the house with two suitcases in his arms, heading to the bedroom. They pulled away and sat up as fast as they could.

“I’m just sayin- oh, hi boys.” Joyce entered the house with a bag of groceries in her hands. She walked to the dining room and placed the bag on the table. “Will, you should’ve told me you were having a sleepover I would’ve bought diner or left you money for pizza.” They looked at each other hoping an answer was hiding in the other’s pupil.

“Well, it was kinda last minute” Will said. At last El came in, carrying a bag as well, and closed the door behind her.

“Is Mike here? I saw his bike outside.” El said. She turned around and saw the boys on the couch. “Oh. I guess he is” She smiled hello and brought the bag to Joyce.

“I’m leaving actually” Mike said standing up.

“You are?” Will said under his breath. Mike looked down at Will’s face.

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Joyce asked almost at the same time, sorting the food items.

“No I told my mom I’d be back for dinner” He answered. Will stood up and followed Mike to the door. He put his shoes and coat on saying goodbye to everyone. He opened the door and headed outside.

“See you tomorrow at school” He was about to hop on his bike but Will stopped him. After looking and closing the door behind him, he made Mike face him and kissed him one last time.

“See you tomorrow” He said then watched Mike leave. He slipped and almost fell off his bike, screaming ‘I’m okay’ before continuing to bike away until he was out of sight.

It took approximatively two and a half second for the party to realize there had been an upgrade in Will and Mike’s relationship. However, the boys, in their total obliviousness state, thought they were doing a great job at behaving normally. Which they were, except for the stolen kisses when they thought no one was watching, the intense yet quick making out session in the school bathroom or in the closet at Mike’s house, not even mentioning the now recurring sleepovers.

He now allowed himself to stay over at his friends’ for movie nights. Sleeping right next to Mike made him less scared of being caught waking up in the middle of the night. As soon as he woke up Mike would immediately hold him and sooth him back to sleep avoiding bothering their friends. After a couple of weeks, they started to sense that their friends might have found out about them. They got the confirmation one morning after a sleepover at the Wheeler’s.

That morning they had slept in late. The others were up while the lovebirds were cuddling in their shared sleeping bag. Will hugging Mike like a koala on a tree. Dustin, El, Lucas and Max staring at them.

“Shall we wake them up?” Lucas asked, sat legs crossed, next to Max who was still lying down.

“But they look so peaceful” Max said getting up on her elbows. They all shared a look. She wore a mischievous smile while getting up, walking towards the curtains blocking the sunlight. She opened them loudly.

“MORNING!” She said loudly. Both Mike and Will jumped awake. Mike’s first instinct being throwing an arm around his boyfriend.

Brightness blinding them and confusion on their face they slowly got back to reality and detached themselves from one another. Silence installed itself in the room while Will anxiously tried to find an excuse. He swallowed.

“I-I got really cold a-and Mike’s pretty warm an-”

“Could you cut the bullshit and admit you’re dating already” Dustin interrupted him, from the couch.

El sat on the floor tried her best not to burst into laugh. He could almost hear her laugh in his mind, which is when he realized how stupid it was. Of course their friends wouldn’t care. They were actually happy for them. Will had been conditioned his whole life to be scared of his feelings, that they were wrong -thanks to his dad and bullies at school- that he almost believed it at some point.

“Were we that obvious?” Mike asked his hand rubbing his neck, sore from sleeping on the floor.

“Dude! you were that obvious even before you started dating!” Lucas said hand gesturing at them. And with that they all laughed so hard.

Every time Will thought that he had reached the level of happiness to finally get rid of his nightmares, the night reminded him of how wrong he was. The more he dreamed the more frustrated he got. He just didn’t understand. Why did he keep having them?

He finally opened up to Mike about them, explaining every details and how he felt every time he woke up. They spent the night crying in each other’s arms. Will feeling relieved to get this out off of his chest after years and years of repression, but still insecure and scared on why they never went away; and Mike feeling miserable for not having done anything even though he didn’t know and felt sorry for not picking up on things.

Will thought that maybe opening up was the key and once he admitted the existence of his night terrors to someone they would go away and leave him alone. Needless to say it sadly wasn’t.

Will started to think his case was hopeless, but not Mike. He convinced him to talk about it to the others. Will was septic at first but after a couple of well-argued discussion, he gave in.

He didn’t go full graphic description for his friends but told enough to raise worry.

“And you’ve been having those ever since…” Max said.

“Since the upside down yeah.” He answered.

“Are they always the same ones?” Lucas asked in his turn. They room was so silent apart drom their voice.

“Mostly, although they became worse in a way” He looked at Mike remembering the shift in the pattern when Mike appeared in them. “The night El found out about it we woke up at the same time and”

“Wait wait” Mike cut Will and turned to El. “You knew?!” Mike raised his voice.

“I-”

“And you did nothing!” Mike screamed. The others were speechless.

“Mike…” Will said.

“I- I’m sorry I didn’t-” She shook her head, her eyes watering she just now realized that maybe she could’ve done something.

“You’re sorry! You’ve literally been in his head and you didn’t notice how bad it was?! You’re living with him; how did you not notice?” There he was, word vomiting again, feeling so mad that there was no filter. He was projecting his own failure onto her which wasn’t fair.

Will had told him about their psychic bond and how they could hear each other’s thoughts. Right now he couldn’t hear her mind but feel it. He felt a wave of sadness and remorse.

“Mike, stop!” Will screamed. Mike faced the boy and seeing his face tightened his throat. He looked back at El and noticed a tear rolling down her left cheek.

“I’m sorry, El. I shouldn’t have lashed out onto you” Mike apologized. His voice low soundinf sincere.

“It’s okay” El said. Smiling weakly she looked at Mike in the eyes letting him know that she forgave him. He smiled back then looked at the floor. The room fell back to silence for another minute.

“What did you mean when you said she’s been in his head?” Dustin asked.

“Oh yeah, um, they have this thing where they can read each other’s mind and stuff” Mike said.

“Pretty cool, huh” Will said looking at his friends smiling, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah” Max chuckled then nodded. El was quiet. She thought about what Mike had said before, then frowned. In his head. In his head.

“That’s it!” She shouted. “In his head!” They all looked confused not following. “I could try going into his mind and see if I can… fix him”

“You could do that?” Will said breathing deeply. She looked at him in the eyes, held his gaze looking serious.

“I can do it” She confidently said. She had to.

They all went to Will’s room and sat in circle. El in front of Will and Mike on his right holding his hand. He used his powers to turn on his radio and El blind folded herself, statics and breathing being the only sound in the room.

They closed their eyes and they suddenly were the only ones in the bedroom except the room wasn’t a room anymore. It was pitch black all around them. They opened their eyes and the where standing in the void facing each other. She reached for him, placed his hand on his head. She felt his green eyes pierce her soul. Her head was about to explode when she felt her body sinking.

In the bedroom El jumped and her breathing accelerated.

All of a sudden he was gone and she was standing in the woods, pouring rain echoing. It was so dark, no stars in the sky. She walked backwards and felt a twig break under her foot. She turned around and saw Castle Byers, or what was left of it…

Dark smoke was surrounding it. She got closer and found a bat lying in a puddle. As she picked it up she could hear a masculine deep voice shouting. She didn’t recognize it but could understand clearly the words. Useless fag, If I wanted a girl I would’ve adopted one. The words hurt, but not as much as the pain she suddenly felt in her ribs, like someone was kicking her. It stopped as soon as she let go of the bat. She winced then kept walking.

She saw a shotgun entangled in blinking Christmas lights. The closer she got the faster the blinked and she could hear this weird noise. It was definitely inhuman but she couldn’t tell what it was exactly. She crouched to grab the gun in the lights but the bulbs exploded before she could touch it. She looked up and kept walking.

She got close enough to be surrounded by the smoke. It was getting hard to breathe. She felt the smoke going through her nose and mouth filling her lungs. Like the smoke had a mind of its own, traveling though her body. She brought her hands to her throat.

“El are you okay?” Max said worrying. El was clearly choking.

The smoke slowly but surely faded in her lungs, disappearing, leaving a taste of sadness in her heart. This feeling of emptiness amplifying as she got closer to the ruins.

“I’m okay”

She was right at the entrance. The castle was barely standing. She picked up a branch and put it back on the side. She looked at her feet and saw half of a picture. She went to pick it up but it flew away before she got the chance to look at it more carefully. Under it, on the floor there were a hammer and some nails in a box. She thought for a minute. She had never done it before but it could work. She picked up the hammer and made the nails float. She used her mind to raise the roof of the castle. She rearranged the branches and started hammering nails and building back the memory.

Before she took her blindfold off, she noticed it had stopped raining and the sun was rising. She came back to the bedroom panting. She searched the room for Will and found him sat on Mike’s lap clutching his shirt, crying on his shoulder. They were both exhausted and drained.

When the night came he felt nervous. He knew something had changed in him, he could feel it but was it enough? He had asked Mike to stay the night in case it didn’t work, so he won’t be alone. The went to bed at 10 pm. Mike soon fell asleep holding Will, but Will stayed awake for a while until sleep took over him.

Swings, a smile and a handshake. A radio, a brother and some new music. An arcade, bright orange and laughter. A shaved head then curls then a thought. A bike, a skateboard then flying. Freckles, warmth then sunlight.

Will opened his eyes. He felt his heat beat. The feeling of emptiness and darkness nowhere to be seen. He was shaking, glossy eyes looked at the boy in the sheets next to him. He sniffed and let out a breath. Mike awoke hearing him whimper.

“Hey, are you okay” Mike was expecting the worse. A single tear fell down Will’s check.

“Yes, It’s just that… I almost forgot what dreaming felt like” Will said his voice shaking.

Mike looked at him smiling, feeling and looking so relived. He took Will’s face and pressed their lips together, hard, which caught Will off guard, eyes wide for a second. He melted into the kiss, closing his eyes. He ran a hand through Mike’s messy morning hair and kissed him back. They pulled away and Will felt almost dizzy that he let words slip out his mouth.

“I love you” He sleepily said. Not processing what he said until he saw Mike beaming and felt his chest move, on top of his, as he breathed. He almost wanted to take it back but he didn’t need to.

“I love you too, Will” It was all it took for Will to feel his heart turn to fireworks sending euphoric wave of heat through his entire body.

And maybe, they might be more okay than they thought.

#byler #byeler #byler fanfic #fanfiction #byeler fanfic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things

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violetsystems · 3 years

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personal

I’ve been able to sleep until six the last few days. I’ve been on this miserable eight to four sleep schedule. I ordered a silent vortex coffee grinder specifically to be less annoying in this regard. Even if I could literally just grind the coffee the night before. I also bought a rug cleaner for the first time in my life. It’s amazing the things you don’t realize you need for a home let alone an office. Last night I received an email from LinkedIn asking me to weigh in on a conversation about higher education. The only public facing social networking site I really use actively I pay for. They bought a service called Linda.com years ago. It was probably the most important site to me for instructional videos. These days it is included on the platform so I spend a fair amount of time keeping my job skills plausible. I learned pretty hard the last six months that my professional network had all but evaporated. A hard thing to face when you worked with your friends for over twenty years. But people have to move on. I sometimes make decisions that seem smarter in retrospect. You could even mistake it for premonition but I just call it good judgement. I made the decision to start the process of becoming a LLC. It was pretty easy to do once you paid the four hundred dollars. There’s services out there online that will do the legal part for you. I chose VS consulting as the name which becomes real around mid December if the Secretary of State accepts it. They asked me to cut the ribbon virtually. I congratulated myself in silence but this is pretty much the first place I’ve shared the news with. My mom didn’t quite understand what I had done and my dad is an accountant. I haven’t told him yet either. I got the idea seeing some of the people who still work at my old job starting their own side businesses. Crazy to see people still employed having extra jobs in this economy. But for the most part I don’t really compare my experience to anyone’s anymore. So I just look forward. There are a lot of ways I generate income. Some of them aren’t very lucrative. I released another ep Monday. Three of my friends from across the world I never really talk to bought it immediately. It makes sense because my music is how they know me. So that’s how they keep up with me. From there, Bandcamp revenue share Friday passed with little or no fanfare. It still doesn’t change the fact I owe taxes on the income above a certain amount if I report it. We all know how the rich hate paying those taxes. And the whole world now knows that I work for a LLC on the premier professional social networking site. It’s a win win for me because I can still look for a job but I appear employed. It’s also a nice buffer in these times for your resume. In retrospect, every article I read says the end of December is a perfect time to start your own business. Mostly because January 1st allows you to start with a fresh balance sheet and good accounting. So if anything my New Year’s resolution is to be cleaner and more concise about everything. Even if the rest of society’s ethics and accountability gets muddier as COVID-19 and the election process drags on. The only things I really have to worry about this next year are documenting my spending, opening up a business checking account, and deducting business expenses. Sounds like a job to me.

There are tools you need for a job. I bought a year long subscription to Creative Cloud. I had it for free for years. I worked in a visual communications department for ten years. I saw the most amazing work every morning hung up outside my office. It inspired me to learn about print making and screen printing. I even owned Adobe stock at one point because I realized Microsoft Office wasn’t doing my resume much justice. I shudder to think how many jokes were cracked by the Workday staff over my Chanel submission. Truth is nobody called back for interviews at any of the places I applied. And this doesn’t really stop me from keeping my eyes out for a position anywhere. But if we are talking about generating income, I can do that all by myself. I can also hire people and deduct more business expenses if I felt that was an option. Which starts to get into the meat of why the job market and economy is so fucked up in America. A lot of people didn’t fall in line on a balance sheet when COVID-19 came crashing down last February. And when the fiscal year came time to start fresh, they thinned their liabilities. Companies are now thinking in quarters rather than years at this point. And small businesses like myself also have to think the same because I now owe the IRS money every three months. The accounting side of it doesn’t really bore me. I’ve done every IT role in the business pretty much over twenty years. I guess that’s why LinkedIn calls on me to offer an opinion. I’ve never had to be this hardcore about the finances. Another great reason why I spend so much time in spreadsheets aside from writing on the internet. It’s much easier to approach a professional consultant with twenty years of experience with an invoice than it is to tether them to your payroll with benefits. I’m always having to think six months ahead myself. This has an advantage to it insofar that I don’t often look back. You pay your taxes and you move on. There are many things I could do to generate income. I could make a zine and sell it quarterly on bandcamp along with shirts. I could post flyers around the neighborhood offering after christmas tech support. I could scour the net for opportunities to audit galvanized IT departments. I could do all this with more confidence if I could say I am employed. I could also hire someone to help me. But I could do none of this and deduct expenses without applying for a sole proprietorship. And truth be told I already have to claim this for the New York Stock Exchange. So if you had to put a label on what I do now it isn’t really that much different from any other business. The state’s richest men started as LLCs. They’re also the biggest pricks who pay the least taxes. Trickle down economics is a funny concept. Businesses offer jobs they deduct from their income therefore paying less to the pool. This would be fine for small income generating businesses. But Ken Griffin would say otherwise as he and other rich people benefit from this structure. They say the American Dream is owning your own business. So welcome to my personal nightmare. I hope you don’t mind me taking the itemized deductions after how I’ve been treated.

I don’t actually know how it’s going to work out. I just know I don’t want to appear unemployed while corporate America expects me to wink and make them more money. There are investments that have worked out for me as volatile as they might be. One Chinese company I invested in has made the CEO twelve times richer. I own four hundred and twenty shares of that company in a brokerage. My intent is to hold on to them for the long term possibly making someone richer at my own risk. I could short the entire next year to my heart’s content. My credit scores have gone through the roof. Nobody has had any answers for me on what to do. Nobody has coached me. I read. I think. I come up with solutions to my problems. And I put money in the right places. That doesn’t mean anything is a sure thing. Especially when my government finds it more advantageous to punish other countries while forgetting about it’s own people. I am absolutely in the dark about everything. Everything except running my own business in America. I already have income I have to report over the next three years due the CARES act. So that is income I will deduct. This is how it works here in America. You seize the means of production and you go to work. If it seems backward for me, you wouldn’t know the half. My life is so fucked up in terms of how hazy and confusing other people have made it. People invaded my life on pretenses that I can’t even begin to explain. And part of being a strong, responsible adult is engineering your way out of these problems. And for the most part, I’ve engineered myself into a fort that overlooks the CTA train. And a small portion of that fort can be written off as an office. Which in some ways if you do the math makes rent and utilities cheaper in the long run. I don’t make the rules. This is how America works. A LLC gets a tax id number. It allows you better options for retirement savings with a SEP IRA. You can apply for business accounts and waive taxes on business purchases. Even the family dollar around the corner has a sign in the window reminding me I can apply for tax free status. Maybe they’re mostly to blame for planting the idea in my head. I’m the one who made the call to apply. Nobody held my hand. You could also get audited by the IRS. And I’m sure the IRS would have to figure out how I got into this situation in the first place. Maybe they’d offer me a job. There’s other fantasies in my life I could imagine happening more than that waking nightmare. Like actually having money to retire. I could be travelling around the world cleaning up the mess mark to market accounting has left on big business. The scars on economies the rich have pock marked on the middle class. Or I could just keep generating income and be my own boss here in my kitchen. The one thing I do know is that is sexier to be confident enough to move ahead with your own plan slowly than to short a bunch of stocks disruptively and brag about it on the internet. You could call it my three year plan. Don’t ask me how bonds factor in that equation. I’m not a spy. What I am is a guy that is trying to be the solution and not the victim. And that guy doesn’t ever want to be a burden on the people I love. So that guy is going to keep doing what he does. And I’m not going to lie that you inspire me to do so. As sexy and confident as I’m born to be. <3 Tim

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calliecat93 · 5 years

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Top 5 Things I Disliked About RWBY Volume 2

(Top 5 Likes)

It’s hard to believe that Volume 2 aired over five years ago now. Unlike V1 where I watched it just as it ended, I watched V2 as it was airing and I still remember my excitement over it. It was a different time back then as well as this aired during the Summer, while every volume after happened halfways through the Fall. Ah, the days of innocence. Anyways, IDT that V2 is as memorable as other volumes, which IDT is necessarily a bad thing but it’ not one that you see many people talk about as a result. But ho boy, do I remember the discussions going around during the time that it aired, especially about the finale. Oh God, the finale...

So then, what are my thoughts? Well, I’ve got a few. Let's go ahead talk about my… not so good ones. Which tbh, these are mainly nitpicky cause I really don’t dislike much about V2. It’s overall a good volume. Not as good as others, it’s my five on the list and may drop to six depending on how V7 goes. But I don't have any rela issues with it, but I was able to brain up a few. Therefore, here are my Top 5 Thing That I Disliked About RWBY Volume 2!

#5. The Dance Arc

As I said, this list was hard. I was able to come up with four things that I disliked, but I couldn’t think of a good fifth one I thought about doing Ironwood and Glynda’s Ship Tease that went nowhere, but… it was a lot minor than I remembered and didn’t bother me like I thought it would. Anything else that I thought of I already had written down and going through my old posts from back when V2 aired provided nothing, so… the Dance Arc was the only thing that I could think of to fill in the spot. Which is kinda unfair because all in all, the arc is fine. It’s more of just dance arcs being a pet peeve of mine. It brings the story to a screeching halt to focus on relationship drama that I nor ally don’t give a shit about. A good example is the Yule Ball in Harry Potter, which single-handedly made Goblet of Fire my least favorite entry in the series, both with the book and with the movie.

RWBY’s arc though avoided most of that. It doesn’t do much in terms of story, but it does have Cinder’ break-in that’ll have consequences later. There isn’t really any relationship drama or nothing that felt overblown. Blake in particular hd some good development and seeing her happy at the dance was really nice. Jaune had some… bad moments. Moments that I’m gonna talk about here in a bit. But nothing so bad that I was annoyed. It did a lot of good character stuff, had the great JNPR dance sequence, and was overall just nice. But it’s not an arc that I particularly care about either, and I’m hoping that V7 won’t do a Ball like I know that a lot of people do half because it likely will focus on relationship drama there and because it’ll just be repeating V2. Still, it’s overall fine, but I needed something to fill in the Number 5 slot. So.. there we go. It was fine, but I could also live without it.

#4. The Season Finale

To this day, I can STILL remember how much the finale was derided by the fanbase when it aired. Kinda funny now since people seem to get bad if RWBY doesn’t end with a massive brawl, but people hated it when they did it here. I didn’t min the finale when it aired… and tbh, I still don’t. But I do have a better understanding of why people disliked it now. Part of it is something I’m going to get into later, but… what did the finale really wrap up? Not much. It was just a bunch of fights just to have a bunch of fights. Monty maybe went a little overboard with it here and it really feels like nothing truly wrapped up as a result. But IK how else they could have done a proper finale without messing up things that happen later, so… meh. Again, the finale doesn’t bother me and I do think that it feels more like a finale than V1 at least. But it certainly is one of the weaker ones and I don’t blame people at all for not liking it.

Oka, so 5 and 4 only barley count as dislikes. They’re more nitpicks than anything else tbh. Can’t say the same about the other three though. Speaking of…

#3. Jaune Cringe

In this volume, we see Jaune trying hard to get Weiss to go out with him. He continues to fail and makes himself look like an idiot. Now in itself, this isn’t so bad… but IDT that it’s aged well. Mainly because the narrative kinda feels like Weiss is int he wrong for continuously rejecting Jaune’s advances. It’s kinda hard to say how much that’s intentional because she doesn’t get punished for it or anything. And it does end with Jaune essnetially letting it go, calling Neptune out on his petty reason for rejecting Neptune despite liking her, and getting him to quit worrying about looing cool to make Weiss feel happy. It shows that Jaune can realize his mistakes and make it right and that he isn’t into Weiss just because she’s pretty or rich. He did have genuine feelings for her, and gave it up once he finally realized that Weiss wasn’t interested and was looking at other people. He hasn’t repeated it since aside from RWBY Chibi, where he suffers for his idiocy, so I do think that he learned. Which is good!

But… ti is really hard to watch. The narrative frames it like we’re supposed to find Jaune an idiot, but also sympathize with him. And we’re supposed to find that Weiss is being cold and harsh in how she keeps rejecting him. Again, this has not aged well. I don’t think that Miles and Kerry had any bad intentions whatsoever and would probably do ti differently nowadays, but… Weiss was completely in the right to keep turning Jaune down. He refused to get the hint and just move on. Sure, he knows how stupid it was now, but the narrative makes it feel like we should feel bad for Jaune. But.. why should we? He kept being an idiot. He refused to just get the hint no matter how many times that Weiss said no. Do I hold him against him? No. He’s no Adam. As I said by the end, he seemed to let it go and his part with Pyrrha greatly redeemed him. But I do wish that Jaune got called out for it and that they did a better job at painting him in the wrong because he was. Weiss could have maybe been nicer about it, but we saw as early as V1 that Jaune acted like this, so she’s been dealing with it for a pretty good while so… yeah, I don’t blame her in her reactions.

Again, I don’t hold it against Jaune. His character has grown greatly since this volume and he hasn’t repeated his cringe since. If anything, I appreciate how far he’s come after seeing this again. But it was not fun to revisit and I’m glad that we’re past this part for good.

#2. The Post-Credit Stinger

UUUUGGGGHHHH! This stupid stinger! So… as we all know, at the end of every volume, they put in a scene after the credits. These have all been canonical in some fashion...except for this one. This one ended with Yang finding Raven at the Beacon Courtyard, in which the unmask herself and says that she and Yang have a lot to talk about.

And then Yang doesn't meet Raven in person until Volume 5, three volumes later… okay!

So… I know that some stuff changed when they began working on V3. For example, the Maidens thing was created by Monty in between Volume 2 and 3 and when he passed away, they decided to keep it. I can only assume that after they decided to make her the Spring Maiden, the plans for Raven changed, so whatever the plan was with the stinger got tossed aside. I don’t mind that so much since I was perfectly happy with what they did go with. But every time that I watch V2 and we get to this, I just get… annoyed. Really, really annoyed because this scene exists, and is apparently non-canon.

It’ hard to get mad about it because I get it. Plans change. But at the same time the show pretty much promised us something and didn’t deliver it. It’s like if Volume 4’s stinger that showed Oscar meeting Qrow suddenly got tossed out in V5, making a promise that they ended up not upholding. It’s frustrating as a viewer, especially since you gotta figure out what to do with that scene after. I guess we can just say that Yang dreamed it, but still. It’s not that big a deal now and so far, they haven’t repeated that mistake with the later stingers. Still, I remember how much this frustrated me all the way up to V4 when I finally realized that the stinger was non-canon now, so I still hold it against this volume. Hopefully, this won’t happen again, but you never know what’ll happen.

#1. What Does This Volume Accomplish?

Each volume of RWBY has a clear goal… except for this one. V1 introduced us to the world and characters. V3 had the Fall of Beacon. V4 was reaching Haven. V5 was the Battle of Haven and getting the Relic. V6 was reaching Atlas. We can argue about how well the volumes accomplished those goals, but they did accomplish them. Volume 2… what is the end goal? Hat does this volume want to be? I didn’t think about it much back when it aired, but now? I… honestly don’t know what this volume’s purpose was.

I guess it was to bring Team RWBY closer together? Flesh the girls and their motivations out? Which is fine… but the story itself doesn’t seem to have a clear place where it wants to end. It’s why I think that the finale was how it was, there was nothing to truly wrap up. The girls couldn’t figure out the villains’ plans because then V3 shouldn’t go the way that it did. But since finding out what the bad guys’ plan was their goal and they don’t do that… it just makes you wonder why you invested our time in it. The girls’ reaction makes it seem like they know that the ending is flimsy, but that the viewers are just going to have to accept it. The good guys didn’t make any progress. The villains were no closer to being defeated than they were before, and none of the hurdles like the bombs going off early did anything to affect them. Which makes them look OP as Hell.

Volume 2 is not a bad volume. In the character development department, it is very good. It’s pacing and flow is better than Volume 1, hence why I place it above it. But it also doesn’t feel like it 100% knew what it wanted to be. At least, it didn’t know where the final destination was. So I still pace 3-6 above it since all of those knew where they wanted to end. Even if some had bumps in the road, they did accomplish their primary goal and I could see what that goal was. IDK what Volume 2 was meant to do outside develop characters. I guess it did do that, but it didn’t really progress the story. I guess it made V3’s impact all the greater, but still… it makes me conflicted.

Okay, that’s one post down. One more to go. Likes will hopefully be up later this afternoon. So I hope that you’ll all enjoy that~!

#rwby #rwby reviews #top likes/dislikes

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binglesbanglesbabies · 5 years

Text

Pcos, an ovarian mass and laparoscopic surgery Part 2, operation to 4 weeks after

Part 2

I wasn’t asked to do anything special pre-surgery to make the surgery any easier, except no eating/drinking after midnight. I still went ahead and ate lightly the day before, tried to keep it to mostly liquids so that my bowels would be smaller and more out of the way, but again, it wasn’t necessary, just what I felt would be better.

The surgery: Jan 28th

I had read so many accounts I was horrified that the laparoscopic removal would fail and I would need to be cut open hip to hip. Of course they had to have someone there to drive you home, so I brought my mother and step-father. The pre-surgery was the same for anything else, height and weight asked/checked. They did an ekg to check my heart was ok for surgery, ran through the 100 odd questions of allergies, a urine test to make sure I wasn’t pregnant, pertinent medical info, yada, yada, placed an iv. Asked me if I had stomach upset/acid reflux (I do/did) so they gave me some iv pepto (their words not mine lol). Surgeon came in to “pep talk” us through the procedure. Then the interminable wait to be wheeled in to surgery. On the way, I was stopped at a nursing station for the anesthesiologist to give me a shot (he told me what it was for, I’m sorry, it’s a blur now). In the surgical suite they literally wrapped my upper torso up like a burrito. They told me it was to keep me warm, but I can almost guarantee it was to keep me from twitching and messing with the machinery while they were messing around in my abdomen. Anesthetic and a few deep breaths later I was being wheeled back into my room post-surgery.

Here things get SUPER foggy. I don’t remember much but feeling rushed out of the hospital. It probably took a LOT longer than I feel like it did, but I was literally falling asleep on myself the whole time, so big chunks of time are missing during this period. I barely remember getting dressed, except I had to have my mother help me, because I couldn’t bend over to put my pants and shoes on. This is one of the first times I have EVER been super happy they had a wheelchair for me, because I never would have made it out otherwise. They warned me I may bleed, because whenever you mess with the reproductive system, it tends to kick up a fuss. There may also be pain in your upper arms and back if any gas is not removed. I had none. My obgyn said if this happens, try to lay on an incline with your feet elevated, head down, to move the gas away from the diaphragm, which causes the pain. But again, I got lucky, I had none. And yes, they did shave my abdomen, sorry guys whoever did it, blame the pcos for the hair!

What they do during this surgery is make a few small incisions in your abdomen (for me it was three), one in the upper end of my belly button, one on each side of my abdomen, several inches above the hip. They blow air into your abdomen to expand it so they have room to move around and then use a machine with small arms and rods with cameras and surgical tools to operate inside of you so they don’t have to cut you open too far. It’s much less invasive and patients heal faster. In my case they also took samples of the fluid filling the mass before removal and tissue samples of the mass, ovary, etc to check for cancer (came back negative). They also took a look at the left ovary, it’s pretty bad, I have the pics to prove it.

For the rest of the day after surgery I was in very little pain. My stomach was extremely shrunken in from the compression caused by the air. I’ve never been that skinny and probably won’t again lol. The incisions were covered in surgical glue. I slept off and on most of the day, trying to get over the anesthetic. The next day is when the pain kicked in. Woah buddy. I was heavily bruising, the swelling began, I was incapable of bending, pulling/pushing, taking a deep breath, laughing, coughing, sneezing. You’d be surprised how much you use your abdominal muscles, whew! I did not have any bleeding until I was using the bathroom, twisted to get the toilet paper (bad mistake!) heard/felt a tiny pop internally and then woosh, it started. It was scary/bad enough I almost called the obgyn, but the paperwork assured me bleeding was normal, and I wasn’t bleeding enough according to the paperwork to call, so I gave it a day, and it did get lighter and lighter over the next few days and stopped.

In addition to the pain from the actual surgery site(s) my uterus decided to go into panic mode and cramp like hell for about a week. I have NEVER been more glad for narcotics. I took those for about 2 weeks before going back to the motrin I had been on for kidney stone pain.

What I was NOT prepared for was the sudden smack-down by my emotions. I swear my hormones were in crazy flux. By week 2 I was crying over stupid things, moody, angry, it took about a week for all of that to clear up, ugh. Still don’t know if that was because of the ovary removal, or because of pcos. I went through everything from crying they wouldn’t take my left ovary, to crying that it was necessary to have the right removed (which logically I know is ridiculous, because I don’t want kids (re: hereditary fun stuff I’d rather not pass on, also being ace plays into that, but that’s another story for another time). Also, having to sit and sleep in awkward positions was horrible. Made my back ache. Sitting up is murder after having an ovary removed because it causes groin pain. Laying flat all the time causes your back to ache. I found a semi-reclined position that I sat in for over two weeks that worked for me, but my best advice is: use pillows, get creative.

Also, constipation is a thing. Your bowels will need some time to decompress, laxatives help.

Expect weird random twinges of pain. It's caused supposedly by your nerves healing. It's a thing. It's ridiculous.

Here’s some SUPER IMPORTANT information. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL.

I was so expecting to jump up and get gong a few days after surgery. The first week I mostly slept. It took me at least 2 weeks to start feeling better. 3 weeks to feel almost normal. Over 4 weeks now and I still have pain in my groin if I sit too long. Turning/twisting still pulls in my right side and groin and surgery sites. Bending is STILL hard, bending to pick something up: PLEASE be careful. Still not attempting to pick up heavy stuff. Squatting is a little easier, but not ideal. I still find engaging my core (abdominal muscles) to push/pull/pick up heavy items is still a challenge, and will cause squeals of pain from my surgery sites. My abdomen swelled quite large, especially around the incisions. Conversely, where they removed the mass sunk in. My stomach is only now starting to “deflate”, so slowly. For a week after surgery, I didn’t eat much, then I was ravenously hungry for about 2 weeks. Externally the glue started to fall off almost a week after surgery. The incisions weren’t even healed yet, caused me to get quite worried, but at the post op visit with the obgyn, she assured me this was normal, and they’d close over time. The did leak, and were filled with white granulomas (white blood cells) which looks like pus, but isn’t. The middle one’s glue popped and bled, filling my belly button with blood, but the glue still hasn’t entirely broken loose on that one, though by week 2 the other surgical glue had fallen off. Check with your surgeon if you’re worried, but again, this all seems normal at this point. At 4 weeks , the incisions are still not entirely closed up. I have been covering them with bandages to help keep out bacteria and minimize rubbing from clothing.

PAJAMA BOTTOMS ARE YOUR FRIEND. Also elastic waistbands. It took me over 3 weeks to even try on a pair of jeans, and they still have the tendency to rub right across those incisions and the button to poke the incision in my belly button: not fun. Today was the first day I didn’t feel discomfort wearing jeans while standing, sitting on the other hand...

I was also not prepared for the general weakness. Without engaging your core, your limb strength just does’t cut it, lol.

AGAIN GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL.

Walking helps. Seriously. Don’t do like I did and try the whole 30 mins thing 2 weeks out of surgery. Try 10 mins at a stretch after a couple weeks. Then, walk 2 10 minute stretches during the course of the day. Then 3 10 minute stretches or increase the time in the other split portions. If you feel pain, stop, don’t push yourself because you want to get better all at once. I’m still not 100% back to normal activity, and I read it can take up to 12 weeks to be to that stage.

Tips/tricks to prepare:

If you have pets/children: if you can afford it, make sure you have a supply on hand for at least 3-4 weeks of food, litter, whatever. Anything heavy you may need to lift is going to be impossible, especially if you don’t have help.

Try to see if you can get someone to help you if possible. Trying to walk your dog or clean litter boxes, or care for small children is going to be very difficult for a while.

Be prepared to not be able to lift very heavy things, push/pull open heavy doors. My discharge paperwork said not to even lift a full gallon of milk/water, and trust me, for the first week or two, it just ain’t happenin’

Listen to your body. It will tell you when to stop.

Buy some laxatives for post-surgery constipation.

Buy some pads/panty liners for post-surgery bleeding.

Get your laundry done before surgery, you’re not going to want to do it for a while. Wash small loads after surgery, laundry is heavy, don’t strain yourself.

Rest.

Buy some meals you don’t have to cook (think something you can slap in the microwave or oven for a few minutes and be done, or sandwich material, cereals, etc.) Standing up and cooking is going to be difficult for a while.

Be prepared to have family members (especially the males), act like you should be over it in no time. Especially with “3 tiny cuts”. They don’t understand that there’s a lot of complicated healing going on below the surface that can’t be seen, not that that’s any excuse for being an unsupportive douche.

Just don’t push yourself to be better all at once, even if family/friends insist you should be “over it by now”. There’s a mini tornado of healing happening inside you, let it do what it needs to.

#laparascopic #laparoscopic surgery #laparoscopic #laparoscopic ovarian mass removal #ovarian mass #large ovarian mass #pcos #pcos and ovarian mass #pcos and large ovarian mass #ovarian mass removal #laparoscopic surgery ovarian mass

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mysunfreckle · 6 years

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Could you write something fluffy with Eposette? You don’t have to if you’re busy but if you do...

A visit to Fantine

Developing Eposette(with background Marisette), Fluff, 1.8k

[This was a challenge, I do not write these girls often enough, so I pushed myself to write something in my ‘official modern au’. I hope you’re not averse to mariposette, anon

It’s notthat Éponine is nervous, but— Well,no, scratch that, she’s incredibly nervous. Which is ridiculous, she knowsthat. It’s not like she hasn’t met friends’ parents before, even if the likelihoodof that is a lot smaller nowadays than it was in high school. Besides, Cosettetalks about her mom so much that Éponine feels like she knows her already. Shealso sounds incredibly nice. As nice as Cosette, which is—

“We’renearly at our stop,” Cosette says cheerfully and Éponine smiles at her, becausethat’s all she seems capable of doing these days. She suddenly wishes Mariuswas here, he knows Fantine already and having him here – in all his officialcapacity as one of her best friends and Cosette’s actual boyfriend – shouldat least help a little to keep her thoughtsin check. Because right now Cosette, sitting opposite her on the train, in hersalmon dress, travelling to introduce her to her mother, is just a bit too much like the stuff of dreams. Dreams Époninecan’t afford to have.

“I’m so gladyou wanted to come,” Cosette says and for a second Éponine almost thinks shesees some of her own nerves behind the warmth in Cosette’s eyes. It’s gone instantlythough and she continues:

“The ride’sgone much faster with you here.”

“Well, itnearly was a lot longer,” Éponine grimaces. She had gone to the wrong platformat first, nearly missing the train and nearly making Cosette miss it becauseshe was out looking for her.

“I was intime to rescue you,” Cosette says lightly. “And we made it just fine. A miss isas good as a mile.”

“What?”Éponine laughs.

“A miss isa good as a mile,” Cosette repeats. “If something goes right, it doesn’t matterhow close it got to going wrong.”

“Yeah, Igot that,” Éponine smiles. “From context. But I’ve never heard anyone say that.”

Cosette’scheeks colour a little and damn it she’s too cute for human comprehension.

“It’s froma book,” Cosette says, now looking as pink as her dress. “Now I think about it,it must be a really old expression. Probably no one uses it anymore.”

“It’s agood one though,” Éponine says hastily. Cosette always talks prettily, evenwhen she curses she does it poetically. Terrifying, but poetically. “What book?”she asks and Cosette smiles.

“Little Houseon the Prairie?”

The name isvaguely familiar, but Éponine has very little idea of what it actually is. “Isn’tthat an American tv show?” she frowns.

“Yes,”Cosette says, wrinkling her nose slightly. “I don’t like the series much.” Shelifts up her eyes. “The books are wonderful. Very idealistic, I know, consideringit’s about pioneering. But they’re just so cosy.”

They are interruptedby the need to get off the train, but during the walk to Fantine’s houseÉponine gets to hear at least a little of Cosette’s gushing about muslindresses and homemade cheese.

Apparentlyshe’s grinning a bit too widely, because Cosette gives her a scolding push. “Don’tlaugh at me!”

“I’m not,”Éponine chuckles. It’s just cute. And typical. She’s pretty sure that Cosettehas lived in cities all her life, just like she has.

“You aretoo!” Cosette huffs. “And I’ll have you know that rural escape fantasies are biculture.”

Époninesnorts. “I think I know at least a few people you’ll have to fight on that.”

“I’m sorry,”Cosette says airily. “I don’t make the rules.”

Époninewould argue, except she really doesn’t want to and before she can think ofsomething she does want to say, it turns out they’ve arrived.

“Tada,”Cosette laughs, giving a little wave of her hand.

There areroses growing by the door and Éponine takes a moment to appreciate that theuniverse at least has some sense of living up to expectations.

“Maman?”Cosette calls out as soon as she has unlocked and opened the door.

There is aglad shout of greeting in return from someone in the house and before Époninehas a moment to compose herself Cosette is holding her hand and she’s beingdragged through the tiny hallway and into a cheerful living room. It’s so cosyand homey that Éponine would like to tell the universe it’s overdoing it a bitby now, but she needs her attention for the young woman in the blue dress andblazer that must be Cosette’s mother.

Cosettelets go of her hand and Éponine quickly retracts it, because her first impulseis to reach for her.

“Welcomehome, darling,” Fantine says, hugging Cosette tight.

“Maman,”Cosette says and she smiles just likeher mother. “This is Éponine.”

“Well, it’shigh time I actually got to see you,” Fantine says warmly and Éponine letsherself be kissed on both cheeks with an odd feeling of appreciation. Fantinedoes really feel like a mom, even if she barely looks ten years older than thetwo of them. Éponine knows Fantine had Cosette very young, no older thansixteen if she remembers right, but she hadn’t expected her to look so young.

“How lovelyto have you both here,” she says. “And I do appreciate it, Éponine, it’s quitea trip to go up and down in a day.”

“Thanks forinviting me, ma- Fantine,” Éponine says.

Fantinelaughs, eyes twinkling. “I hear you’ve been instructed already, very good. Ireally do prefer Fantine.” She glances down. “Look at me still in my workclothes, I can’t tell you how hot it was today. Speaking of work, Simplicesends her love.”

Cosettemakes a cheerful noise and Éponine nervously tries to remember if she shouldknow who Simplice is. She really needs to stop being so silly, her heart isskipping just a bit too fast and she can still feel the press of Cosette’s handon her own.

“Oh,Éponine!” Fantine says, taking off her blazer and looking up at her cheerfully.“Cosette told me you had a big test a few weeks ago, have you heard back yet?”

Éponine canjust see Cosette’s apologetic smile from the corner of her eye. “Eh, yes,” shesays, smiling at Fantine. “I did well.”

The wayFantine’s face lights up is very much like Cosette’s. Honestly, Cosette isstarting to make more sense by the minute.

“That’sfantastic,” Fantine beams. “Well done you!” She turns around. “Well, thatwarrants celebration! Strawberries for dessert, I think!”

Éponine canfeel her face grow hot. “It was just small test,” she mutters.

“Oh, but Iknow you study so hard,” Fantine says earnestly and Cosette adds cheerfully:

“Neverargue with strawberries.”

“Quiteright,” Fantine nods. “Go on, show Éponine around the house if you like,Cosette, I’ll get started on dinner.”

“I’d liketo help,” Éponine offers immediately. She was right, Fantine is nice. Far too nice and she wants toshow that even if she might have had to teach them to herself, she has goodmanners.

“Thank you,dear,” she smiles. “And I’d love a hand later on, but the prep I can handle onmy own. You two run along.”

Cosettegives Éponine a reassuring look, following it up immediately with a grin. “Doyou want to see my room?”

“God, I’mtwelve again,” Éponine groans, but she laughs and follows Cosette back into thehallway and up the stairs. The house is small, but very well kept and passingby a window on the first floor Éponine can see a pretty little back garden.

“This ismine,” Cosette says, opening a door. “And speaking of being twelve, this roomis basically still the way it was when I left home at eighteen.”

“Is it pink?”Éponine grins, leaning past her to look inside.

Cosetteblows out an amused breath and Éponine blinks. It’s not pink. Most of the wallsare dark lavender. One is nearly black and the curtains are dark velvet.Éponine turns to Cosette with as serious an expression as she can command.

“Don’t tellme you were goth,” she says, vowing to herself that if the answer is yes shewill do everything in her power, including enlisting Marius, to get her handson photographic evidence of this fact.

“I wasn’t,”Cosette says regretfully. “But I wanted to be so badly.”

Époninelaughs. “You weren’t allowed?” she can’t really imagine that. Then again shecan’t imagine Fantine having breakfast opposite a teenage mess of black clothesand make-up either.

“No, I wasjust really bad at it,” Cosette laughs, walking further into the room. “Catastrophicallybad. It’s good you didn’t know me then.”

“I wouldhave loved to have known you then,” Éponine says unthinkingly.

“Yeah?”Cosette smiles, looking at her with soft eyes. “Would you have fixed my awfulmake-up for me and psyched me up enough to actually go through with dying myhair?”

Éponineswallows. “Absolutely.”

Cosettesmiles a little wider and Éponine gives herself a single second to be sorry forherself. But no more. She made that mistake with Marius and she’s not making itagain. Being lovesick is overrated, being friends is better.

“Your roomis great,” she says, letting her mouth pull into a smirk. “Especially the Aristocatssheets.”

“Hey, thoseare the softest sheets in existence,”Cosette defends herself.

“I wasn’tjudging,” Éponine grins.

“I can hear you judging,” Cosette says, a smileclearly audible in her voice. She turns around to pick a cardigan up from thefloor and Éponine takes the opportunity to look at her desk. She doesn’tactually get to look at it though, because tacked against the wall just aboveit, is a poster. A poster that Éponine looks at, takes in, and stares at withan odd sort of silence suddenly filling her mind.

The poster,contrary to the rest of the room, ispink. And the letters on it, curvy and blue and purple, spell out the words: ‘Perfectly Poly and Practically Perfect’.

“Shall wego back down or do you want to snoop some more?”

Époninebarely hears Cosette’s teasing, but she turns around anyway. She turns aroundand looks at her, with her loose curls framing her face and her laughing eyesand her pink cheeks and she just… Perfectly poly.

“You okay?”Cosette asks, her face turning just the slightest bit concerned.

“Yes,”Éponine blurts and she better think of something to keep her mind busy becauseright now it is racing, along with her heart, and full of sudden and startlingnew ideas and possibilities. “We should go help your mom.”

“Yes,”Cosette agrees cheerfully. “There are celebratory strawberries to tend to.”

Époninefollows her out of the room, doing her best impression of a girl that’s got aperfect handle on the situation. It’s a good thing she has considerablepractice with that act. A very good thing indeed.

#eposette #mariposette #eponine #cosette #fantine #modern means less miserable #sunfreckle's stories #I hope this fulfills your fluffy needs dear anon!#be careful what you wish for #today was a good day <3

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jimzub · 7 years

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I love MARVEL, they were my first heroes before Batman and Superman. And I grew to love all their heroes, aside from the ones I already knew. But then 2012 passed, AvXM finished, and something changed. The studio rivalry began to affect the comics, teams were disbanded, characters changed, others forgotten completely. It seemed like everything was becoming a big mess. I know you know what I mean. Don't you feel it'd be a better idea to just start from zero again, go to basics with all titles?

I know hitting the giant “reset button” seems like a great idea and way to clean house, but I don’t think it’s that simple.

Arguably, Marvel has never fully reset their line. Yes, there have been major shake-ups (Heroes Reborn, the new Secret Wars) but there’s always been a desire to keep those threads of over arcing continuity intact. The closest thing they’ve done is to build a separate sandbox with the original Ultimate line of comics, and that experiment did generate solid sales for quite a while, but it also reflected some of the biggest problems with the big ol’ reset button:

1) Hitting reset means cleaning up and some version of starting over. That can be an incredible jumping on point for new/lapsed readers. It can also be a huge jumping OFF point for the existing readership. The door is closed on the past. The old stories no longer “matter.” If you’ve been collecting for decades you can cap off your old collection and walk away.

(I feel the constant new #1′s of the past few years have created a similar collection problem, so maybe we’re already too far gone at this point. I’m genuinely curious to see if Marvel’s return to legacy numbering will help with that.)

2) Fans and creative team quickly get pulled into the trap of wanting remixes instead of new stories.

“When are you going to bring back (fill in the blank)?”

“What about (favorite story line)?”

“I hate that you no longer acknowledge (classic relationship).”

It’s a clean break, except it isn’t. The grip of continuity still has a hold on storytelling and creators either feel a need to incorporate those old ideas into the new vision of the character or to change things specifically in response to that original version. It’s not evolution and growth. It quickly becomes endless navel gazing, trying to recapture past glories instead of moving forward with new ideas.

With the New 52, DC Comics tried to have it both ways - the best old stories were relevant, except for those ones over there or ones where it didn’t work with future plans, or ones where editorial didn’t know for sure but the writers referenced them anyway, and…uh…crap. The freedom of a clean break was quickly mired in past continuity and choices without a clear idea of which parts were canon and which weren’t.

Batman fared better than most because Scott Snyder went out of his way to build new villains and new conflicts through most of the run. Rebirth seems to be working better, but I wouldn’t call that a clean break either, especially with Hypertime and Watchmen in the mix. For better or worse, continuity still matters and a fresh start really isn’t fresh.

3) Which version is “right?”

If Marvel did go Full Reset, the answer to that question would define the future of comics. Your choices for which versions of the characters/teams would make sense would be vastly different from mine or any other number of fans. Just look at the X-Men. The line-up changes constantly. There’s no mix of characters that would please the fandom and feel iconic enough, especially if you’re jettisoning their favorite plot lines/conflicts/relationships in favor of a fresh start.

Is Psylocke still a British psychic in a Japanese ninja body? How much time do we spend explaining the similarities and differences to her past version for our “fresh start”? We have to go through every character and do the same thing or risk confusing the existing fan base. Is this a good use of our time? Is this a clean break? Nope, it’s just another continuity-style headache but now one that’s splintered into version numbers for both past and present.

Using the Marvel movies (global entertainment phenomenon) as a template may seem like a natural choice, but it isn’t. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has a format built for the movie medium: a few 2 hour chapters released each year, culminating in mega-movies every few years where many of the characters team-up together. Very cool, but the comic medium allows for dozens of stories in the same span of time, more in-depth and far more experimental. It’s not limited by actor schedules, location shooting or special effects budgets. The comics have to be their own thing, hopefully generating great new material that inspire movies, TV, and games aplenty.

I agree that there’s a real need to clean things up and refocus titles, making sure they have a distinct voice and purpose in a broader shared universe. Generating jumping on points that make sense and bringing in new and lapsed readers while acknowledging the weird and wonderful history of these books. When it works well, that’s the grand soap opera of superhero comics.

If there is a giant gonzo reset at some point down the road (and I’m not aware of one, so don’t take this as any kind of between-the-lines confirmation), I hope the Marvel crew has learned from the pitfalls of the past and doesn’t make similar mistakes. I also hope they call me to work on one of those spiffy new titles. ;P

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junker-town · 5 years

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The fatal flaw holding back each team in the NFC

Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images

The NFC is a bit of a mess. Except for the Niners, right?

Through four weeks, only one team in the NFC remains undefeated. Just as we all expected, it’s the 49ers.

Kyle Shanahan’s team is off to a 3-0 start after defeating the Buccaneers, Bengals, and Steelers to start the year. Although that’s no murderer’s row of opponents, it’s been enough to give San Francisco a way-too-early lead in the race for homefield advantage in the playoffs. The Cowboys, Rams, Saints, Packers, Bears, and Seahawks are all staring up at Jimmy Garoppolo through one quarter of the season.

So what are the odds the Niners can keep this up — and if they can’t, who will replace them?

The NFC was an unpredictable beast through the month of September. Philadelphia looked primed for a letdown season before upending a then-unbeaten Packers team in Green Bay. The Lions rebounded from a disappointing come-from-ahead tie against the Cardinals in Week 1 to upset the Chargers and Eagles the following two weeks. The Saints lost Drew Brees in a Week 2 loss to the Rams, then rallied behind Teddy Bridgewater to defeat the Seahawks and Cowboys. The Rams started their conference title defense with a 3-0 record, then gave up 55 (fifty-five!) points to the Buccaneers.

So while the AFC appears to be the property of either the Patriots or Chiefs, the NFC is still wide open for seemingly anyone other than Washington or Arizona. Who has the strongest claim to the throne? Let’s dig in:

Winless, and therefore unworthy of a writeup

Washington (0-4), Arizona Cardinals (0-3-1)

Right. Their fatal flaw is that they aren’t good enough yet to win games.

Heh, nope.

Atlanta Falcons (1-3)

The Falcons beat the Eagles in Week 2. In their other three games, they’ve trailed by 21, 17, and 17 at the half. Atlanta’s cache of wasted talent has been matched only by its enormous capacity for stupid mistakes through one quarter of the season.

Fatal flaw: Coaching. Dan Quinn’s team has found a way to bridge whatever skill gap he holds over opponents with a lack of preparedness.

Likely pretenders to the crown

New York Giants (2-2)

Daniel Jones breathed new life into the Giants, but he’s only beaten Washington and Tampa Bay while captaining a roster that was in rebuild mode this past offseason. New York’s offensive line has overachieved in its two-game winning streak:

giants run blocking has quietly been really good this season. even on still shots you can see the holes they're opening up pic.twitter.com/d5RqEt8Zli

— charles (ronald) mcdonald (@FourVerts) September 30, 2019

However, a look at the depth chart suggests that won’t last — which is bad news for Saquon Barkley fill-in Wayne Gallman.

Fatal flaw: Overall talent. The Giants may have put their rebuild ahead of schedule, but this is still a rebuild.

Carolina Panthers (2-2)

The Panthers got their two wins by beating the Cardinals and watching the Texans throw up all over themselves. Kyle Allen is undefeated as a starter, but he cooled off significantly and looked like a backup quarterback in Houston. Cam Newton could push this team up a tier if he returns to full strength — and he says he’ll wait until he’s 100 percent, though no one’s quite sure when that will be . Still, the playing-hurt version of Cam that showed up in Weeks 1 and 2 won’t be enough to make Carolina a contender, even if this turns out to be the best Panthers defense since 2015’s 15-1 campaign.

Fatal flaw: Quarterback stability. Newton’s hurt and Allen shrank in the face of the Texans’ pass rush.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-2)

The Buccaneers smothered the Panthers with their defense and lit up the Rams. They have also given up 30+ points in three of their four games so far. They’ve done that even in the midst of Shaquil Barrett’s breakout season, and he probably can’t maintain a 36-sack pace.

Tampa may have to rely on Jameis Winston to win shootouts on a weekly basis, which ... isn’t ideal. Fortunately for him, the team’s running game has made a major step forward this fall — Ronald Jones has put last year’s 1.9 yard-per-carry average deep in his rear view — and Winston has a tremendous downfield cheat code in Mike Evans, who should never be single-covered, ever.

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Fatal flaw: Winston. Bruce Arians has pushed him to his strongest statistical season so far, but the QB’s biggest concern is the lack of consistency that has haunted him over four-plus seasons. If Arians can turn Winston into an every-week above-average presence behind center, he’ll earn his share of Coach of the Year votes.

They’ve still got plenty to prove

Minnesota Vikings (2-2)

The Vikings would be in the “pretender” tier if it weren’t for a still-promising defense. Kirk Cousins has fumbled six times in four games and currently holds his lowest QB rating since becoming a full-time starter in 2015. Minnesota is allowing just 4.8 yards per play, which should hold some opponents down long enough for even a diminished Cousins to walk over them. But there’s also a chance his inability to sustain an offense sinks the Vikes to the bottom of the NFC North.

Fatal flaw: Cousins. The Bears shut down Minnesota’s running game in Week 4 and the Vikings crumbled to dust when their quarterback was asked to carry his team’s offense against a great D.

Detroit Lions (2-1-1)

The Lions couldn’t take advantage of the Chiefs’ mistakes in a last-second Week 4 defeat, which is why they’re a good team and not a great one. Their Week 2 win over the Chargers looks good on paper, but in reality was a comedy of errors for an LA team that outplayed Detroit all afternoon.

On the plus side, Matthew Stafford seems to have recovered from an awful 2018. The Lions may need everything they can get from him; they’ve given up at least 373 yards in each of their four games this season.

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Fatal flaw: Playing down to the level of their opponents. Matt Patricia’s early track record as a head coach indicates he’s able to get his team up for big games (vs. the Chiefs or in last year’s win against the Patriots), then struggles when he’s tasked with non-contenders — like when his team botched an 18-point fourth quarter lead in a tie against the Cardinals.

Philadelphia Eagles (2-2)

The Eagles still haven’t been able to push Carson Wentz back to his 2017 pre-injury MVP form, as the fourth-year quarterback has been solid but unspectacular (it doesn’t help that one of his most targeted receivers has an utterly memeable penchant for drops). Philadelphia needs him to be better if its pass defense can’t improve. The Eagles have allowed 7.4 net yards per pass attempt through four games, 25th-best in the NFL. They’ve given up 300+ passing yards in three of those games.

Fatal flaw: The pass rush. While Philly’s cornerbacks have been brutal to watch, they’ve gotten little help from their front seven. The Eagles rank dead last in the league in sack rate (1.7 percent).

Los Angeles Rams (3-1)

First things first: this team gave up 55 points to Tampa Bay. That was enough to drop LA from the top tier down to the “prove it” group. The Rams’ defense has been uneven to start the year, sandwiching two strong performances between Winston’s shredding and a season opener that saw a hurt Cam Newton put up 27 points. Los Angeles has struggled to get off the field on third down and is suspect in the red zone, turning a talented lineup on paper into a middling unit in practice.

Fatal flaw: Jared Goff’s sudden regression. The fourth-year quarterback has seen better protection than ever before (his 4.4 percent sack rate is the lowest of his career), but he’s using that time to make worse decisions. He’s throwing deep less often (his average throw depth has fallen from 8.2 yards in 2018 to 7.4 this year) and is getting picked off more — his six interceptions lead the league.

Seriously, what can't this dude do?!#GoBucs | #TBvsLAR pic.twitter.com/crRi9g74hl

— Tampa Bay Buccaneers (@Buccaneers) September 29, 2019

Even though there have been some extenuating circumstances that led to this explosion of turnovers, it’s clear that right now, Goff isn’t the MVP candidate he was in 2018.

I want to trust you, but I’ve been hurt before

San Francisco 49ers (3-0)

The 49ers are 3-0 — and their best win came over a disheveled Buccaneers team in Week 1. They’ve since beaten the Steelers and Bengals, who may have been winless in September if not for the fact they had to play each other. San Francisco has overcome plenty of adversity in its first three weeks, winning without injured players like Tevin Coleman, Jimmie Ward, Nick Bosa, and Dee Ford in the lineup for stretches. It’ll be much harder to carry on without them as the Browns (Week 5) and Rams (Week 6) loom on the schedule.

Fatal flaw: An offense that may not be able to keep this up. Garoppolo has been carving defenses up with a ton of play-action passes — 38 percent of his dropbacks, per ESPN. Those plays have broken open for more than 10.5 yards per attempt, but the Niners’ dwindling stock of tailbacks and the growing tape library on San Francisco’s 2019 suggest defenses will catch on to this strategy sooner rather than later. If that threat is taken away, can the 49ers’ line continue to provide one of the league’s lowest sack rates for its oft-injured QB?

Seattle Seahawks (3-1)

Much like the Niners, Seattle’s impressive early record has come at the expense of the AFC North’s dregs. The Seahawks’ three wins have been against teams with one win between them, and that was the Steelers’ unwatchable victory over the Bengals.

Still, there’s plenty to like here. Russell Wilson remains a low-key MVP who has help from Chris Carson, Tyler Lockett, and the emergence of DK Metcalf and Will Dissly. No team has been more efficient in the red zone, where Seattle has turned 10 of its 13 trips into touchdowns.

Fatal flaw: Passing defense. The Legion of Boom salad days are over, giving way to a secondary that ranks 16th in opponent passer rating despite opening the season against Andy Dalton, Teddy Bridgewater, Kyler Murray, and three quarters of Mason Rudolph. This offense needs to be tested, sure — but the defense might run into even bigger problems once it has to face the high-powered offenses of the NFC West.

The seemingly safe(r) bets

Dallas Cowboys (3-1)

Dak Prescott didn’t put up big numbers in offensive coordinator Kellen Moore’s conservative gameplan against New Orleans, but he’d been outstanding his first three weeks. Prescott has emerged as an MVP candidate, leading the league in QBR (91.4) and averaging career highs in touchdown rate (7.1) and yards per pass (9.0). The Dallas defense has been nearly as impressive; the Cowboys have held opponents to fewer than 300 yards in each of their last three games and are allowing just a 26.5 percent conversion rate on third down.

Fatal flaw: Big-game playcalling. The Cowboys failed their first real test against a fellow contender when the Saints limited them to just 10 points in Week 4. New Orleans smothered the Dallas offense, shutting down Ezekiel Elliott and leaving Prescott lost in the wilderness and throwing into quadruple coverage late in the game.

The Cowboys, like the Niners and Seahawks, have done their best work against bad teams. There’s a chance they belong in the “I want to believe” tier, too.

Green Bay Packers (3-1)

Aaron Rodgers isn’t all the way back, and he may not have to be. Green Bay’s revamped defense has been better than advertised this season — though Week 4’s missteps against the Eagles’ running game may be cause for alarm. The Packers are 2-0 in games where they’ve scored 21 points or fewer so far. In 2018, Rodgers’ team was 0-6 in similar situations.

Fatal flaw: Matt LaFleur’s overthinking. The Packers’ offense excels early in games, but LaFleur struggles to create a dynamic gameplan once he has to deviate from his first quarter script. This was readily apparent in Week 4’s loss to Eagles, when he dialed up four straight passing plays in a first-and-goal situation from the Philadelphia 1. The Packers all failed in a seven-point loss.

New Orleans Saints (3-1)

New Orleans fell apart briefly after losing Drew Brees to a thumb injury in an 18-point loss to the Rams, then quickly picked up the pieces to dispatch the Seahawks and Cowboys in the following weeks. I’d previously written about how this version of the Saints was built to handle six to eight weeks of Teddy Bridgewater duty, but hot damn has this team risen to the occasion to escape the toughest part of its 2019 schedule at 3-1. New Orleans won a shootout in Seattle after giving up 514 yards in Week 3. The next week, it cut that number exactly in half against Dallas and stand alone atop the NFC South. While consistency may not be the Saints’ biggest asset, they have the conference’s strongest resume through four weeks.

Fatal flaw: Everything red zone, so far. New Orleans has only turned four of 11 red zone opportunities into touchdowns, but has allowed opponents to convert 10 of their 15 chances into six points. That’s a concern when all three of the Saints’ wins have come in one-possession games. The team has a -8 point differential through one quarter of the season, which is in no way sustainable for a playoff team.

Chicago Bears (3-1)

This is absolutely a championship-caliber defense. No team has scored more than 15 points against the Bears this season. Khalil Mack is unstoppable once again and has four forced fumbles and 4.5 sacks in four games. He’s just the biggest name on a depth chart loaded with playmakers. Chicago is so intimidating it can derail blockers with a sideways glance.

Danny Trevathan really beat Brandon Scherff with a "look over there" move pic.twitter.com/trLTc9hmdh

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 24, 2019

But what about the offense? A multifaceted running game has averaged only 3.6 yards per carry this fall. And the passing game, well ...

Fatal flaw: Mitchell Trubisky. The third-year passer looked entirely overwhelmed when called on for big moments in his season opener against the Packers — his last seven dropbacks in that primetime game ended in one completion, one interception, and a game-ending sack on fourth down. While he recovered to carve up the Broncos in a clutch two-minute drill one week later, several questions remain about how he’ll stack up under the bright lights when his offense needs him most.

That said, the club proved it can win without him after defeating the Vikings with Chase Daniel behind center. If Trubisky can just be solid when he returns from a dislocated non-throwing shoulder, he’ll give the Bears enough juice to make a deep playoff run — especially now that the team seems to have a reliable kicker.

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may-self · 5 years

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A Guide To Identifying An Emotionally Abusive Relationship In Five Types Of Behavior

“You’re a slut, i’ve always known you were a slut, that’s why you’re not good enough to be my or anyone’s wife or have my or anyone’s kids” was one of the things he told me on the last day I saw him, less than a minute later he apologised and promised he didn't mean it only to tell me the same thing again three days later over a long text message after a few missed phone calls.

Although my first reaction to this was to think it was absurd and silly, I later allowed it to sink in, I questioned where those words came from, why he thought those particular words would hurt me and why, after everything had been said and done, he wanted to hurt me? The more I thought about it the less sense it made except for the fact that he knew that kind of words would in fact make me think.

“You’re an emotional abuser” was one of the last things I told him but it was only after talking to other women and hearing their personal accounts that I truly realized how common this story was and how truthful my realization might be.

While this post might in some ways seem quite personal, let it be clear that I’m not here attempting to shame anyone. Relationships are complex and stones can be thrown from both sides, victims might replicate the behavior of their aggressors, you know, putting fire out with fire kind of logic. So this post might touch you, maybe you will even see some of your behavior mirrored here, I know in some ways I did, and if that’s the case with you, take it as a call for change. I do believe that my experience and my observation of other failed relationships gave me a glimpse of what it might feel like to be in a relationship with someone who might overexploit your emotions and leave you drained, this is a compilation of tales. So here are my five red-flags to lookout and good enough reasons to let go of the wrong person.

Blatant Dishonesty

If a man/woman admittedly tells you that they’re not good with relationships, never dated someone for longer than a year, and when that happened they were unfaithful, don’t expect them to suddenly change their casanova persona for you, despite how convincing they might be at promising you they’ve changed or how you represent a clean slate and they need someone to trust them notwithstanding their past misconducts so they can become a better person. There are people who cheat by mistake, but the majority cheat by habit because they can get away with it, so an intentional cheater will always be a cheater and to be a cheater they need to have a commitment otherwise it’s not cheating, so you, blinded by your lack of modesty to think you are capable of changing a fully grown adult, will ultimately become the paper they will roll their joint in. And when they do, and when you find out they might not even try to deny it and blame it on your insecurity and lack of trust, they might come clean and you might even appreciate their honesty of tearfully admitting that they messed up. But in this case you will find that in their vocabulary honesty is not the equivalent of integrity nor regret, so take your appreciation of their candor as well as yourself to a safe distance.

2. Immersion in a never ending soul searching journey

There’s a saying “be careful not to fall in love with a man with wandering eyes because other body parts may start to wander too”, I know these quotes are cheesy but they are timeless, here’s some extra cheese “to those who don’t know where they are going, all roads lead to their destination” and “good advices never grow old”. A person that does not know themselves will not know what they want so being with you will be an experiment, and you can’t expect someone who is just testing the waters to have the will to commit to your relationship and put the work that it requires. This seems reasonable, after all we all need time to get to know someone and be sure of what we want. But an emotional abuser will be aware of his indecisiveness and still try and succeed at convincing you to stay because you are the love of his life until they have an epiphany in a beautiful sunny morning that it was after all not you who they wanted.

3. Control of your happiness

There’s nothing that the right person will want more than making you happy, we’re all deserving of love, however, some people will want to have exclusivity over your happiness, they will get upset from seeing you happy for reasons beyond them, they will feel jealous, they will try to isolate you from your family and friends, they will try to force you to change your habits, your diet, delete pictures, throw away things, ignore people and block contacts and none of that will be enough. And they will discreetly punish you for not being complaisant with their absurd demands. They will intentionally make you sad or happy at their own convenience. And it won’t stop! They will move on but will not allow you to get over them, they will show up, give you hope, show remorse and jealousy of the simple thought of you moving on and being happier with someone else, they will try to punish you for moving on by inciting envy and making you feel unworthy of being loved by anyone other than them. Even remotely, they will still try to control how you feel.

4. Fear of your personal achievements

They will love you to the moon and back but will not share your excitement over the achievement of big milestones. Your growth of any kind will put them in a state of unease, they will feel threatened and insecure and might even convince you that you don't really need to achieve certain goals to be happy because they love you just-the-way-you-are, your beautiful, magnificent, mediocre self. Because they are accommodated and not willing to grow, your growth makes them fear that you will not need them anymore. They are actually not afraid of your growth but afraid of losing either financial or emotional control over you, in an emotional abuser’s mind to love is to control.

I’m personally a big believer in growth, it’s a beautiful thing to find someone who you don’t see as competition, who’s success is mutually beneficial, someone who is proud instead of threatened by the person you are becoming, who will support you on your journey, remind you when you’re slacking, encourage you when you’re scared and celebrate with you like it’s new year’s eve when you succeed and repeat that ad infinitum.

5. Eagerness to prey on your vulnerabilities

It’s when we’re in love that we feel our most vulnerable selves, it’s so blissful to strip ourselves off of our guards and surrender to absolute trust, a byproduct of unconditional love. The right person will never take your vulnerabilities for granted and they will diligently help you grow out of them, the wrong person will prey on them, your insecurities, your fears of abandonment, your low self esteem, your trust issues, your impulsivity, your shortcomings and problems will all be perceived as tools in the mastermind of a professional manipulator. They will mansplain you, gaslight you, downplay you, and reverse psychology the shit out of you until they break you because you’ve let them in and you’ve trusted them the most. You won’t even see it coming or see it happening because your aversion to old adages led you to ignore the all time classic “it is those who we love the deepest that can hurt us the most”.

All of the above points seem very self-sufficient reasons to put those legs to work and RUN away from the relationship but sadly people choose to stay. I believe that’s due to the fact that we’re all a combination of yings and yangs, very few people are inherently evil or good, I wont dwell into the reasons why people are led to intentionally or not do bad things to those who they supposedly love but I will point that first of all no one remotely sane falls in love with a cruel person, we initially genuinely feel loved but then we feel other things too, deceived, disrespected, hurt, neglected and the list goes on, all of these feelings blurred by “love”. Second, because we’re all flawed we don’t just fall in love with the good, we fall in love with the bad and the ugly too, sometimes we think we share scars and losses, and that too can connect us, our desire for forgiveness can make us give a lot of undeserving free passes. But relationships that are bonded by brokenness get ugly and uglier. Healthy relationships should be cleansing, restorative, uplifting, so no matter how much you love someone and how co-dependent you’ve become with them or how happy they have made you feel, if it's tainted with toxicity you will be continuously winding into darkness, cut it, let go, do some personal growth and move on.

-M

#love relationship emotionalabuse

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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years

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In Defense of Ozpin

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/160955995697/rwby-theory-ozpin-is-a-fraud

Why oh why am I not surprised this is about a male character?

Between the Wizard of Oz thing that he’s got going on, and his less than stellar ways of trying to be the good guy, I’d have to say that Ozpin is probably not the hero that so many characters (and some fans) make him out to be.

But one important thing to remember about the Wizard of Oz, is that he is a FRAUD. Perhaps Ozpin is the same.

True, Ozpin has done some questionable shit in the past such as allowing Penny to fight or offering Pyrrha the Maidens power thus forcing her through her selfless personality. However, what ever he has done throughout the series he has done so to help the whole of humanity to survive against the Grimm while retaining their individuality and humanity and shows obvious regret over the mistakes he has made, even as he lives within Oscar. So I have a hard time believing this.

So, Ozpin… Let’s take a look at your list of crimes. http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/152795445956/ozpin-hero-or-villain

Hold on: (Walks out of the room and returns dressed in a clean purple suit with a yellow tie and whit undershirt)

Let’s take a look at these crimes shall we?

10. Yang’s ‘unsportsmanlike conduct.’ Now, the reason this is on the list is because, well, he’s the headmaster. He probably has other things to do. But, here’s the thing: Qrow is a teacher, a full-time huntsman, and is part of the ‘Ozluminati’. Ironwood is also a headmaster, is in charge of an army, and is also part of the ‘Ozluminati.’ Ozpin is a headmaster, and is running the ‘Ozluminati.’ Now, the main difference is that Ozpin has only two things to do, while the others that I mentioned have three. Why was Ozpin too busy to consult Yang? Qrow had the time. So did Ironwood. What the hell was Ozpin doing that he couldn’t make time for Yang?

With Qrow: Oozpin has a more advanced version of each aspect. Qrow is a teacher, Ozpin leads the teachers. Qrow is a part of the Maiden group, Ozpin organizes and leads the Maiden group. Qrow is a huntsman, Ozpin has to deal with the LEADER of the Grimm. Add into the fact that Ozpin has to deal with the tournament, finding a new Fall Maiden and dealing with the discontent with IronWood’s armada and he is simply too busy. And if that is not enough: How is this a crime against Ozpin? He has done nothing here except not directly comforted Yang and we never see Glynda do so. So this so called crime should be stricken from the record!

9. Letting in Jaune. More specifically, letting Jaune stay. Look, it’s no secret that Ozpin has security cameras everywhere. There is no reason that he wouldn’t have overheard Jaune admitting that he cheated his way in. Even so, Ozpin is supposed to be smart. He should’ve noticed some shady shit on Jaune’s application. Unless we’re led to believe that the guy who can barely keep up on his own work is that great at faking a transcript. Even if that is the case, Ozpin would have let him in on his strategic merits. But he also had cameras in the forest, did he not notice Pyrrha unlocking Jaune’s aura?

Indeed he would but here’s the thing: Ozpin is the headmaster. He MAKES the rules. He decides who stays and who goes. Proof of this comes in the fact that he KNOWS Blake is from the White Fang and yet lets her stay seeing as she will not harm his students. Ergo, Ozpin is allowed to keep Jaune in. Especially considering YOUR history with Mr. Arc....

8. Those Cameras. Ozpin is invading people’s privacy. Not just any people either, he’s invading his students’ privacy. These kids could be doing some risque and private stuff like Velvet acting like the ‘crosshares’ of Coco’s gun, or Pyrrha “taking an interest in Jaune’s ‘sword.’” Sure, we can write it off as ‘He’s concerned about the safety of the students, but then where was he when Cardin was assaulting Velvet? Or when Cardin was messing with Jaune? Oh, and speaking of what he wasn’t doing…

May I see the Vale law that prohibits security cameras on school campus? What, you cannot provide such proof? Then how can you accuse Ozpin of breaking a law that you cannot prove exists? Perhaps he got legal permission or perhaps the law states he isallowed to do so. And who is to say he has cameras in people’s bedrooms? Can you provide proof of that? No? Then no laws were broken, no privacy is invaded and thus no crime is committed!

7. Team CEMN. Look, we’ve established that Ozpin has cameras everywhere (Hopefully not the bathroom, because then we have to have a talk there, Ozzy.) Are we really supposed to believe that these guys could pull off everything without being noticed? I mean, really? - Okay, maybe transfer students get a pass or something, but that still doesn’t explain the fact that their semblances are never mentioned. Flynt Coal had his Semblance explained, Nora Valkyrie had hers explained, what makes this team so special that they aren’t required to share what their semblances are? - Follow up question: Why didn’t he do anything about the obviously older-than-a-normal-student students? Was he trying to have Beacon wrecked?

Again, you have no proof of your claim that Ozpin has cameras in rooms. And what did they really do at Beacon that was so bad before Episode 7 of Volume 3? Cinder’s sneaking was at the Tower, her finding Penny’s schematics was in her room privately. And why would their Semblances matter hm? You never explain why so why is it such a problem? And finally: Emerald and Mercury are the same age as Weiss and Yang ergo there is no suspicion there and Cinder herself doesn’t look that much older so she could pass as a student. And all of this said with n evidence: Crime stricken from the record!

6. No action on the White Fang. Look, I’m saving the most damning for the final three, so this is also something that needs to be said. Ozpin had knowledge of what the White Fang and Roman were aiming for, and he doesn’t alert the police because… His students are ‘more qualified’? He doesn’t even have to mention that one of his students is an ex-member, he just has to say “Hey, one of the teams at my academy came across this White Fang hideout, maybe you could check it out.”

Mind telling me where exactly he said there was a White Fang hideout there? Because from what I heard (https://youtu.be/bSdejzDaQEU?t=8m49s) All he said was that the Grimm was too much for first years, not a word about the White Fang. More unwarranted accusations: Anymore young man and I will have you arrested for falsely accusing my client of crimes he did not commit.

5. Salem. The dude has some connection to the witch. What is it? He’s a big enough of a threat that Salem had him as a high-priority target. Why? Is he the Wizard? And if so, why is he keeping it a secret? - Fine, I guess we can make the excuse that he wants to keep other people from asking him for shit, but couldn’t he use all that power to… Y’know, tell people off? He doesn’t have to grant these guys their wish or anything, he just has to do something. And if he isn’t the Wizard, then why does Salem consider him such a threat? If he was that big of a threat, then it’s highly likely that he can fight the witch, and win. So, why is he missing? (Yeah, I’m treating this like how I treat Nick Fury and his ‘deaths.’ That rule is “If you hear that Nick Fury is dead, don’t believe it until you see it, and even then, don’t believe it.) We don’t have a body, it’s only his cane that’s missing. And what the hell did he do to make Salem so mad at him to begin with?

No crime seen here, your honor. Keep it moving, my flu is messing with my head.

4. His leniency on Team RWBY. A food fight on that level would net any other set of students detention at best, and expulsion at worst. I don’t care who you are, if you’re a student (Or a group of students) who causes that much destruction in a food fight, you’re getting some repercussions. This guy is favoring Team RWBY, and he can’t just punish only JNPR because that would just look suspicious. So he lets them both go, and it’s Glynda that issues the warning, not the freaking HEADMASTER!

Really because judging from his language (https://youtu.be/PzPZ6joXq5Y?t=10m17s) he’d be lenient on any of them for doing so, knowing the challenges they will face in the future. And again, he’s the headmaster. He decides who to punish and who to not. His authority at school is absolute, yours is nonexistent. so no crime here!

3. Ruby’s admittance. Here we go. The more damning evidence that pushes Ozpin into the ‘bad guy’ category. And c’mon, let’s be real here. Ozpin wouldn’t have let Ruby in if her eyes were just a different color. Ruby could have had training from the best teachers around, and she wouldn’t have gotten in on the grounds that she doesn’t have those ‘oh-so special silver eyes.’ Hell, Ruby could have been more combat inept than Volume 1 Jaune, and she would have gotten in because of her silver eyes. This is the guy who laid out a plate of cookies, which is common knowledge to be Ruby’s second favorite food (For those of you who are unaware, her actual favorite food is strawberries.), for Ruby to eat, and therefore, trust him. This is some shady shit right here.

Actually, we have proof Ruby is combat abled.

Episode 1 of Volume 1 which Ozpin himself confirms. (https://youtu.be/-sGiE10zNQM?t=7m8s) Funny how you consider yourself a fan and yet you missed the entirety of the first episode huh?

2. Fall Maiden. He gave Pyrrha a warning, whatever. But he’s well aware that doing this aura transfer would possibly (And is quite likely) override Pyrrha’s personality, and just turn her body into an empty husk for the Fall Maiden to inhabit. Hey Oz, Glynda is literally right there! I don’t care how desperate you are to win a war, you just flat-out don’t risk killing a student (Much less your ‘top’ student) to achieve victory. What, does the Maiden system have some kind of age restriction? - As far as we know, it doesn’t. So, why risk a student (A FIRST YEAR student, I might add) to win? - There isn’t a reason. Unless…

no age limit huh?

(https://youtu.be/moxtu3AuA4s?t=7m6s)

YOUNG Woman. Probably between 15 and 30, where a woman is in her physical prime and thus can handle such a power. Now Glynda is most likely old enough to have gone to school when STRQ was in school so that means (considering Yangs age): She is at least 39. Well beyond her physical prime. So it looks as though your damning evidence is turning up short.

1. He’s actively trying to get people close to Ruby killed. Yeah, you read right! Ozpin is actively trying to get people close to Ruby killed to set off her special eyes. I mean, it’s awfully convenient that team RWBY ended up on a high-danger mission that nearly got Ruby’s older sister killed! Hell, if it weren’t for Raven, Yang would have very well died. And considering that Oobleck only made Yang, Blake, and Weiss question themselves, and make mistakes, we can only assume that Ozpin made him ask those questions specifically to those three. “All Ruby wants to do is help people. That’s why she wasn’t asked.” - Yeah, bullshit. Here’s my question: “How?” Sure, being a huntress/huntsman involves helping people, but how? You can’t ‘help’ people by slaying monsters, and just being there, you have to actually have a plan. It’s also convenient that he would tell Pyrrha to do something, when he’s aware that she’ll rush into danger anyways. With no plans to have, oh, I don’t know, his security system on when entering the Fall Maiden chamber before Cinder attacks, he was banking on Cinder getting the powers. And why the hell does he even have that thing to begin with?

Seriously, the guy’s moral standing is difficult to ascertain, with all the evidence and more pointing towards Ozpin being morally bankrupt, it’s entirely possible that he’s the cause of the Grimm. Remember all those ‘mistakes’ he’s made? We’ve seen other huntsmen and huntresses fight off Grimm. Glynda, Qrow, Ironwood, the Students, and even the faculty. So, why didn’t any attack Ozpin? What is he hiding? And what’s his first name? - We know that everyone has a name that references a color, so what’s his? We can’t exactly make the stretch that he’s referencing the Wizard of Oz, and the Emerald City. Oobleck’s name directly references a substance in Dr. Suess that is green in color, Weiss’ name is a color in another language, And Ruby’s name… is ruby… like the gemstone.

“High danger mission”

Exactly: meaning there was a high risk of death to EVERYONE, especially the person that he was apparently trying to get everyone around her killed which negates the one argument you could have against Ozpin here (turning Ruby into a superweapon).

“Ask those questions to specially those three”

Or maybe Oobleck wanted to make sure the girls knew how to accomplish their goals whereas Ruby can help people by killing Grimm and thus preventing them eating people. Not like Oobleck is his own person or anything.

“It’s also convenient that he would tell Pyrrha to do something, when he’s aware that she’ll rush into danger anyways. “

That sentence contradicts itself.

“With no plans to have, oh, I don’t know, his security system on when entering the Fall Maiden chamber before Cinder attacks, he was banking on Cinder getting the powers“

Then why not kill Amber right away and give the powers to Cinder right away? WHy go through so much trouble to do the opposite?

“Seriously, the guy’s moral standing is difficult to ascertain, with all the evidence and more pointing towards Ozpin being morally bankrupt, it’s entirely possible that he’s the cause of the Grimm.“

With all the evidence you have shown being complete crap, I do believe th rest of this is just the rambling of a desperate madman.

Verdict? Not Guilty!

Man, if I were a bit more heartless, I’d make a good lawyer.

Ooh… It’s not looking good. But, there is very little evidence backing Ozpin being the good guy here.

Minus him giving Jaune and Blake sanctuary at his school, being understanding about Blake and the teams' situations, helping Ruby out as Team leader. bearing the burden of what might happen to Pyrrha ect.

But as for Salem…

Even t6hough Salem herself has done a few good things like look after Cinder, support her and act understanding: She is still controlling the Grimm, the creatures who kill humanity for the sake of it. She still caused the fall of beacon directly, killing so many people. She still is trying to EXTERMINATE HUMANITY! She is most definitely NOT a good guy here, especially if you are preaching for her, considering your self admitted bias against male characters.

(I’m going to get a little off-topic here for a bit.)

Salem. Here’s the thing, with a quick google search, the term “Salem” Will return… The Salem television series.

Ahem, a quick google search for “Salem Witch Trials” reveals the history of innocent women being prosecuted and burned at the stake for (false) accusations of witchcraft. Why would Salem have such a significant name if she were supposed to be innocent? She obviously has a beef with humanity, and much more specifically, Ozpin. Why did you burn her at the stake, Ozpin? How did you convince everyone that she was a witch, Ozpin? Why did you need others to fight this war for you, Ozpin? Why did you let a young girl give up her own life to try to stop her, Ozpin? Why should we trust you, Ozpin? Why?

By this logic, Weiss should be waiting for her prince to wake her up, Blake should be in a loving relationship with Adam and Yang stole pour age from bears. The characters in RWBY don’ t follow their inspirations exactly and Ozpin and Salem are no different.

You act as though Ozpin should be wholly wrong and Salem is wholly right. There is a middle ground where both sides can be equal parts or varying shades of right and wrong: Grey and Gray morality exists you dumbass.

Now isn’t that the million-dollar question. But back on track with Ozpin here, is he a real hero, or is he a fraud? No matter the adaptation, be it books, plays, movies, or cartoons - there is a major thing in common: The wizard is a complete fraud. He’s no wizard. He’s just a conman. Albeit, he’s a conman with morals and a set of rules, but he’s still a conman.

Exactly. Morals and a set of rules. Morals that prevent him from hurting people on a grand scale and rules that prevent him from abusing his power. The Wizard used his trickery to deceive the four Witches into thinking that he was nigh omnipotent wizard to protect the Land of Oz from them. And while he did indeed use this power once to sell the true ruler of Oz into slavery and the good he did does not excuse that, the good he did still outweights the bad and thus he is more good than bad. Just like Ozpin who did do some morally questionable things but never killed a person or anything as terrible as that and tried to protect the world while doing so. Your theory is bullshit.

With the amount of questionable decisions that Ozpin has done (like not having good enough security for the tournament to avoid someone using their semblance to cause someone to do something that would attract grimm), Ozpin has very few things to name that makes him a hero.

After all, he is the person who made a farmboy leave his home to get a stupid cane that would be more than likely put him at risk because Ozpin is so incompetent/morally-bankrupt that he had to make other people do the dirty work for him.

So because Ozpin is human and makes mistakes, you think he’s the de facto bad guy? Despite everything he has done to help people?

And that Oscar thing: no proof it was just for a cane so you have no case there. Stop inserting shit just to make yourself look good.

Keep Vale safe? - Why do that yourself, when you can let an inexperienced team take on a high-level mission that would result in a General coming by to give you security on his own because you could count on his ego?

No proof that Ozpin knew about the White Fang.

Why prepare a state-of-the-art security system when you could just count on it failing so that way one of your prized students could deal heavy damage to the intruder after they kill two people?

To save lives, which he is working towards. Otherwise, he would lift a finger to help train people against the Grimm.

Why share a body with an actual warrior when you could get a young, malleable mind that can be molded to think what you want them to think?

One: the wizard is a thinker, not a fighter. Two: (https://youtu.be/p1vevcjcaqs?t=4m29s) OScar choose to go on his own by Ozpin’s words. Stop this crap.

Why stop a crisis that would kill thousands of people when you could have a power manifest out of literal nowhere to solve the problem for you?

What power? What does this have to do with anything?

Going back to the Wizard of Oz theme, anyone here see Wicked? - I have (it was spectacular, by the way), and aside from it being a great musical, there’s another thing to consider: The “Wicked Witch” wasn’t actually evil. She was just given that title by her tormentors. Her tormentors, that apparently, didn’t have a skin deformity (no wonder Adam works for her. He relates to being discriminated for something out of your control that causes a visible difference in appearance that nobody else has (That… actually makes sense, now that I think about it. Someone want to do a Faunus/White Fang sympathy post about why they would work for Salem (or at least, write a story?))). Getting back on-topic here, Elphaba (The ‘wicked’ witch), was actually innocent. It was the Wizard, her teacher, and an unsuspecting Glinda (who objected to it all, by the way) that gave her that label of being ‘evil’. Much like the world, the situation wasn’t black and white. The wicked witch wanted to be loved for who she was. Salem could very well be the same. As could Oz. He certainly hasn’t done much to inspire trust recently.

One thing, Dudeblade. One thing: Wicked is NON-CANONICAL, written nearly a whole CENTURY after the actual book. Your musical is just a “What if?” fanfiction whereas the interpretation with the Wizard as a morally questionable but ultimately good guy and the Witch as evil IS canonical.

You talk of the world being beyond mere Black and White but then try to paint the Black as the The White and vice versa w9thout any consideration for a middle ground. Again, your theory sucks.

Honestly, at this rate, I’d sooner trust Raven Branwen with my life before I’d trust Ozpin. Because at least, with Raven, I can count on her saving me once. With Ozpin, he’d probably make me become friends with Ruby so that he could send me off to my death to trigger her oh-so special silver eyes. A regular conman will make you raise your guard to someone else so they could rob you. A better conman will convince you that only he can save you, so you’d believe everything they say.

No, you’d sooner trust raven because you’re Sexist against guys, taking everything to mean that they are the bad guys ad the girls are the good guys, regardless of logic and proof. Everytime you bring up one of Ozpin’s “crimes” it can be answered immediately and shown that you have no proof to back up your claim. Ozpin has done questionable shit and Salem has shown a couple of redeeming qualities but that doesn’t switch their moralities, it just mixes them into a Grey and Gray conflict where both sides and right and wrong. Are you seriously that incapable of seeing a morality other than Black and White?

But hey. That’s just a theory.

A shitty, unsupported, misinformed, backwards, blind and stupid theory.

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