#and tbh for the first 80 minutes they did not play well it must be said | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonny-kookoo · 3 years

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Ready Player 01 | JJK x Reader | 🔞❤️☁️

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: dystopia!AU, former Game developer!Jk, former pro gamer!JK, former IT specialist!Reader, former programmer!Reader, romance, Smut, slight cyberpunk elements

Warnings/tags: injustice, forcefully controlled public, violence (police/government officials against citizens), unfair powerplay, interrogation, tech talk, Jungkook be antisocial as FUCK but so is the reader lmao wbk, fear of physical contact (Haphephobia), past trauma and mentions of a bad childhood, insomnia, crime, smut because yes it’s me hello my content isn't kiddy-proof in the first place what yall want from me I'm not sure, but that’s waaY at the end ya know, friends to lovers, a slightly sassy AI but we love her, reader struggles with emotions, I mean same tbh, they're both so sweet tho I cant, not proofread because let me live

Summary: there’s a war going on; silent, but it’s there. Media has been strictly become controlled and regulated- to the point of making it illegal to own a TV or phone with internet access without a valid license. But there’s always some people that will try to break free from the controlling force.

"-a new age. This is a new year. And remember; we're doing this for the greater good. Until tomorrow." The news reporter stops talking after she somberly looks somewhere behind the camera that is pointed at her.

Your room is dark- the TV brightness on it's lowest setting so you can see what's going on- but outside, no one can see the light shining in your tiny apartment. Investing in blackout curtains had really paid off at the end of the day.

You don't want to get caught.

There's an announcement van driving past your window; the tiny slits in your curtains where the light from outside can creep its way inside brightening a bit as the headlights pass your windows. Something is spoken, and by now everyone knows the routine speech.

"Electricity will be shut down in five minutes. We advice to save all progress immediately- and we wish a good nights rest. Electricity will be shut down in five minutes..-" It repeats, over and over, counting down the minutes. You slowly move into your kitchen, opening one of the loose floor tiles to turn on your own emergency electricity system. With well practiced movements you close the tile again, moving the rug over it as you walk back into your living room, swiftly sliding the TV behind your wardrobe to make it disappear. As if on cue; there's a knock at your door.

The same as always. Routine. Two times, loud and clear. You don't even have to look through the peephole to know what awaits behind it.

"Yes?" You ask, rubbing your eyes as if you had been already asleep. The officer behind the door nods at you shortly, a mild smile on his face as he looks down at you.

"We didn't mean to wake you miss. Just routine, as usual." He says, peeking into your apartment to look for any electronics still running. It's pitch black however- so he simply nods, as his colleague notes something into his tablet. "We wish a good nights rest miss. Again, sorry for intruding." He apologizes, and you nod, closing the door.

Only when the street lights turn dark, do you move from your bed.

"Creator." The AI voice chimes up, her voice greeting you as as you lift the tile on the floor again- your phone connecting to the AI to show information you instantly decode and note down inside your head. "Player01 has just connected." The voice states, and you sit down on your cold kitchen flooring, smiling a little. "He has sent a message. Would you like me to play it?" The voice asks, and you take a deep breath.

"Yes." You say, and there's a small sound indicating the start of the voice message. A male voice is head.

"Hey, whats up?" He asks, and you can hear something in the background- maybe an empty can or something similar. "I uh.. I'm on my way. Should I bring anything? Ah wait, I know the answer to that.." He says, chuckling at the end of his sentence, and you can hear him zip up his jacket as he moves around. "Yeah uh.. just text or something, I'll bring stuff over. Can't have you starve." He ends, and the AI speaks up again.

"Would you like to repeat the message?" She asks, and you shake your head at her; a signal the artificial intelligence has come to detect quite well. "Should I archive it?" She questions again, and this time, you nod- something your invisible assistant can pick up due to motion sensoring.

"Send him a message." You say. "Tell him: I only need you. Get yourself here in one piece and I'm happy. And I'm very capable of taking care of myself." You state, and your phone shows a small loading message- indicating that the voice is doing as you said. It chimes up after a moment. "Thanks Kana." You say.

"No problem creator. Would you like for me to run through the databases now?" She asks, and you nod, a smile on your face. "Database search in progress. Estimated time: sixteen minutes and eighteen seconds." You huff out a breath as you look at the tiny display on your arm; tiny, yet powerful as it's your way of keeping Kana- your AI assistent- close at all times. Tonight, there would seem to be a lot to dig through.

They really added a lot of content these days.

It's not the door that makes you notice that there's a visitor after a while- He never uses it anyways for some reason. You're sitting on your kitchen floor with a small cup of tea in your hands- kept hot inside a slightly beaten-looking thermos can since you can't use to water boiler at night. Using anything other than Kana would cause a spike the police would be sure to notice; and you're not ready to get caught yet.

Not tonight.

It's a boy who, after a moment, opens the unclosed kitchen window to climb in; his combat boots getting a little snow and dirt from the outside into your apartment as his 80's looking jacket makes distinctive noises as it brushes against the sides of your window. His blonde hair has grown out a bit these days you notice- the roots clearly showing. It's a little wet and slightly curly from the moisture. It must be snowing outside- or maybe it had. You couldn't know for sure.

You never left your apartment.

He closes the window after slipping on the tiles inside a little, the plastic bags noisy as he almost drops them- sheepishly taking off his boots as he smiles at you. His socks are different from one another- but that's another thing so distinctive and just so.. him. He's his own person, always has been; it's what brought you two together, after all. You both stood out against the 'regular public' these days; with his brightly almost white-bleached hair he was like an albino in a sea of crows.

But you knew he didn't need that to stand out to you.

You can still remember the first few times the boy in front of you has visited you; the times where he had just dyed his hair to rebel out, or when he pierced your ears in exchange for you to do it to him as well. It was like you had made a blood pact in your kitchen that night- you had somehow gotten closer, formed a little more than just a simple companionship in order to riot against the law. He began growing close. Gave you a nickname. Began calling you his player 2. Began calling you his 'ace'. He had explained that he thought of it from memories of his gaming days; the two fighting teams always called red and blue, and one of his favorite weapons having that nickname- simply because it always 'saved his ass last minute'. He had rambled on about his last tournament after that, eyes sparkling and cheeks round from cold noodles.

You had become friends.

"hey." He says after sitting close across from you on the cold floor; the opened tile and Kana's core exposed to you two, the only source of light apart from your bracelet. The colorful LED's paint marks on his face and illuminate his features to you; but it does the same to you from his point of view. It's a familiar sight. "How are you?" He asks, almost shyly, but you know that's not what's bothering him.

"Hey Jungkook." You simply say with the hint of a smile, as you answer him. "Haven't slept well these days but, what's new I guess." You chuckle, and Jungkook smiles too- though a glimpse of concern is still shown your way. He knows however that forcing you to sleep won't do much good- your insomnia was too bad to really conquer it in a day or two just by taking naps.

And also; who was he to talk about solving personal issues.

"Have you seen the most recent reports?" You ask him, and the boy somberly shakes his head.

"I was unable to." He states. "They were patrolling close to my apartment complex because there had been someone reporting a Glitcher today." A 'glitcher'- a slang word now commonly used for people like Jungkook and you. People who went against the nightly routines, people who tried to trick the system by using electricity at night, owning media, consuming it, or dealing with it. It somehow became worse than underground drugs. "They pulled him out at around twelve or so- but they seemed too on edge the entire day, so I didn't risk it." He says, and you nod. Jungkook had always been a very good person when it came to calculating risk versus reward. He was good at reading people too- even though he didn't interact much, he got out of his apartment a lot more than you did. "Anything important?" He asks, and you shrug.

"There was a report that China and Japan were still on edge- with the chinese government arguing that they would soon start with 'more drastic measures to get things under proper control', whatever that means." You say, and Jungkooks brows furrow as he starts to pick on the skin of his jaw. "Let's just hope the flood doesn't throw us under the sea as well if it escalates I guess.." You say, and the boy across from you nods.

"Creator." Kana's voice chimes up, making Jungkook look up before remembering that the only source would be your bracelet, which you look at as well. "My scan of your body shows that you have not consumed a sufficient amount of calories today. I recommend a meal in the next five to eight minutes to avoid malnutrition." She says, and you groan. "I take this as a form of verbal communication. Running data search..." She says, as Jungkook looks at you; thoroughly amused by the teasing banter between the AI and his friend. "My data search concludes that you are annoyed, creator. I have only stated a fact however-" She continues, and Jungkook steps in.

"I've brought some leftovers from my dinner today we can eat." He says, pulling out some plastic containers as he moves to get proper cutlery out of your drawers. He makes sure to push them towards you, making sure to nod with a smile as you nod and thank him a little embarrassed. "It's nothing. You know I love you too much to let you starve!" He states with a grin, bunny teeth on full display as bitterness creeps up your throat- something you make sure to swallow down before beginning to eat.

Because the kind of love he's talking about right now, is not the kind of love you want him to feel for you.

"You forgot to give it a proper validation there-" He points out as you type away. "Otherwise it will just run instantly, and everything at once. That could crash older systems, and we know that V95 uses an older laptop, so we should take that into account." He says, and you nod, clicking back to the spot Jungkook is talking about.

This is what you're both good for.

Writing code for you had always been something you did with a passion- simply because you were good at it. Numbers and short phrases were something you could remember with ease; but you never had to think much about the visual aspect of programs in your department back when you were able to work for a simple programming company. You had simply always been tasked to program security systems and automatically updating firmware, or simple AI's for factory robots. Jungkook however had been all about the visuals; he had been programming games after all. That's why you two fit so well together in this scene. Whenever he would be in complete awe of the broad knowledge you had about official guidelines and security breaches, of staying undetected and unseen while still gaining as much as possible from every single line of code, he could always throw in his input to make sure the program you were both writing and updating for the glitch community was easy to use and simple enough so it could run smoothly on as many systems as possible. Be it phone, laptops, PC's- you two made it possible.

This program was connecting Glitchers all over the globe- and with yours and Jungkooks knowledge, you made it almost invisible. And even if it was somehow detected; there was no possible way to track down any of it's users.

The fact that you had to hide a simple program from the government made you sigh.

"Okay. Yeah I think that fixed the bug." He says, and looks at your arm- at Kana. "Oh, by the way, Kana?" he asks, and the chime gives him the cue to talk. "I heard you had a bug-fix too recently." He says, and the AI chimes again.

"I did, Player01." The AI answers. "The addition of code to my current program has proven to significantly increase my ability to observe and save more data." The female voice answers, and Jungkook grins. "You are happy, Player01." She states, and he nods.

"I am." He says.

"Why is that?" The AI asks, and Jungkook shrugs.

"I'm just happy you're doing well. Someone has to take care of ace when I'm not close by, yeah?" He states, and you try not to react to it. Jungkook is by now used to your more stoic expression; you're not too emotional and barely let things get under your skin. You've been hurt before, he knows this even if you never told him- he can see it in the way you hide inside the safety of your home, how you're so cold on the outside but still clinging onto him. Sometimes he wishes he could touch you; run his hand over your head to ruffle your hair like in those cheesy movies, hold your hand, or simply give you some reassurance in the form of a gentle hand on your back whenever you struggle.

But he's got his own demons, and they love clinging onto him just as much.

"V95 has connected to voice chat. Would you like to talk to him?" Kana states, ripping him out of his thoughts as he watches you nod.

"JK? Y/N?" A deep voice asks.

"We're here. Heard there was a raid close to you?" Jungkook asks, and he can see you grow a bit more serious at that. "Are you okay?" He adds, and V answers, although quite.. tired?

"I'm good. They got Jimin though." He states, and you sigh, running a hand through your hair as you stand up, frustrated. Jungkook knows you're trying to calm down by pacing. He doesn't mind. "They didn't officially arrest him, took him for 'questioning' though. We know what that's about." He states somberly, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"Jimin is a master manipulator V. He'll get himself out of it, I'm sure." Jungkook tries to reassure, but it doesn't gain him much than a hum from Taehyung on the other end of the line. "What about Sleeper?" He asks, and a chuckle is heard.

"He's been checking the videofeed from inside the past few nights. He said he's send some of the big bites to Ace though?" He says, and Jungkook looks over at your form.

"Yeah I've seen it." You simply say, though Jungkook grows uncomfortable with the way you're suddenly standing there. You're a little hunched, biting the skin on your thumb as you look at the tiles as if they suddenly began to move. He knows himself that things inside the 'rehabilitation centers' weren't all that nice to see- but you rarely ever displayed so much distress over it. "Let's just hope Jimin get's his ass out of this situation. We can't afford to loose him." You say, and V stays silent before he sighs.

"Yeah. I tell sleeper you've seen the stuff. Oh, and our prince charming has asked for a date with Ace. Again." Taehyung chuckles, and you groan- while Jungkook can't help but clench his jaw. Kim Seokjin was a very good asset to the team; with connections reaching deep inside the government and his position as a former lawyer- but he still hated his guts.

You didn't need to waste your time dating. You were totally capable of taking care of yourself, you had even said it personally! And for anything else Jungkook would provide for you. You didn't need anyone else than him.

He was totally not jealous of him.

"Can he not use our underground connections for that circus?" You say. "I don't even go grocery shopping, why would I want to go on a fucking date?" You mumble, sitting down next to Jungkook as you take a spoonful of rice. Jungkook feels a weird sense of satisfaction about the situation.

"Who knows." Taehyung says. "Alright, 10 Minute mark- I'll hear from you two soon. Take care." He says, and you both say your goodbyes before the line goes silent.

Although Jungkook hates physical contact, he likes keeping you close.

His heart is melting like chocolate as he notes the way your hand grips his jacket tightly as the two of you walk through town to get your license renewed- a way of holding onto him, and he somehow wishes it could be his hand. He knows yours would fit so perfectly in his, and yet he can't bring himself to do it.

His body is not cooperating.

He remembers vividly how his fear had developed; with his father and mother both being dramatically overworked and overwhelmed with having a kid at a young age, they had no idea how to make a child behave. Every second touch would bruise, every time he had been held would be force.

And at some point, he started to dislike physical touch completely.

It had just been like his growing interest in freelance climbing- the way he would walk and jump high over the heads of unsuspecting people, away from all judgemental gazes they'd throw his way for behaving the way he did. Only when the wind could hit him freely, only when he couldn't make out faces of anyone down below, only when he was high up- that was when he felt safe. The ground below had nothing of interest for him, no point in going down, as his apartment was located on the top floor of the complex. Jungkook never took the elevator, always the stairs.

He liked being reminded how high he lived.

And yet, there's one thing that pulls him down, brings his feet to the earth below, calls him like a siren song. It's you, hidden away from everyone's sight inside your tiny home, just as troubled and judged as himself.

He'd fallen in love with you the second you told him his name.

It had been a rainy night, his clothes drying on your heater as he was wrapped in two of your blankets; the smell of your fabric softener and something so typically you surrounding him like a mother's hug would a child. It had given him a feeling of comfort he had never quite experienced before, and it had also been the first time he had imagined what it would be like to hug you.

To have you close.

He had explained to you why he had freaked out when you reached for his arm to steady him when he almost fell inside your apartment through your window; had apologized and bowed his head in shame until you had simply shrugged.

"You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, Jungkookie." You had said. Jungkookie. "You're you. And I like you." You had said, not looking at him as you typed in some code to Kana's internal system.

His heart had warmed up at that.

And while you had accepted him, he had accepted you just as much. While at first caught off guard by your quiet and sometimes harsh way of treating him, he had also gotten to know just how gentle and delicately you treated the ones you loved. You were a loyal person, always going out of your way to be helpful, and silently basking in praise any time it was directed at you.

He loved that view. The way your cheeks would grow warm, how your eyes would sparkle; and he loved most of all, that he had been, according to Taehyung who was the second closest to you, the only one to see you smile.

You even laughed with him.

It filled him with pride to know that you were able to let go around him, even if it was just a little. It made him feel like he did something huge. It helped him sleep at night knowing that you were trusting him enough to let down your guard a little.

And it hurt him even worse knowing that he couldn't do the same thing for you.

He was a coward-

and you deserved a hero.

"Ace?" He asked, slipping through your window as he noticed the apartment silent and dark. Nothing greeted him. "..Ace?" He tried again, maybe you were asleep? But your apartment was quiet, empty, nothing spoke of your presence. Dishes were in the sink, a cup of water left untouched on the counter, and something inside of him churned painfully at the way this looked. He checked the kitchen tile, sliding it to the side like he's seen you do it countless of times.

It was dark.

Instead, he was greeted by a post it note. "Underneath the bed. Take care." Was all it read. He stood up, pushing your bed away from the wall noticing how your carpet had been torn a little. And as he lifted the cut flap of carpet, there was an envelope.

Your watch. A small in-ear piece, and your old IT-identification, folded.

A noise outside your hallway made his head snap up as he pushed the bed back into place, making an escape for it as he climbed outside the window, watch safely inside his jacket as he climbed back up on top of a building, before he examined it further, turning it on, after putting the earpiece in.

"Hello, Jungkook." Kana greeted him, and it felt weird to hear the AI say his name like that. "Creator has advised me to answer all questions you might have, and assist you from here on." She said, and Jungkook simply put the watch on, making his way to his own apartment.

"What happened?" He asked, his face serious as he walked.

"At around 6:12 O'clock, creator was taken into further questioning regarding illegal possession and knowledge of classified information and technological equipment. She had shown no resistance and complied with authorities. My observations however showed that she was taken with more force than necessary." Kana explained. Jungkook shook his head. "She had prepared for this instance during the night, approximately twenty-six minutes after you had left."

"She knew?!" He suddenly said, shutting his apartment door violently as he started to pace around, throwing his jacket on the couch. "Why didn't she contact me?"

"Analysis; your body shows signs of-" Kana started, but Jungkook interrupted.

"Shut up. Why didn't she tell me?" He asks again, and Kana seems to hesitate for a moment.

"Considering her close relationship to you, she probably wanted to not get you involved." She stated, and Jungkook sighed, sitting down on his couch as he gripped his hair. He should've stayed. Hell, it wasn't the first time he wanted to stay. He had dreamed of staying over, of fucking living with you for months to no end by now, but he was a coward. And this was his paycheck.

"Kana." He said lowly, and the small tune gave him the cue to talk. "Contact V95. Tell him it's urgent. We got an emergency." He says.

"I can't watch this." He says, jumping up and holding onto his head as to not punch his wall, unable to go through the videofeed of your interrogation room.

There's not much to see, but Jungkook knows that's simply because they haven't had the time to see to you yet. You and him knew best what really happened in these rooms, and he hated knowing that deep down they wouldn't go easy on you simply because you were a young woman. It didn't matter to them.

He'd seen teenagers way younger than you and him getting the rough treatment before- and elderly didn't get spared either.

The government bragged about having everything in order; yet they couldn't even control their own law enforcement it seemed. When he really thought back on his history lessons in school, not much had changed at all.

The world was still in utter chaos.

His palm shuts his laptop harshly- earning a tiny chime from the AI he’s already forgotten shares his home with him now. “I suggest that you practice care in treating your electronics to-“ he groans, successfully shutting it off at that. “Why are you frustrated?” It- she? Asks, and he sits down.

“I don’t know how to help her.” He admits in shame, thinking back to the footage of your hidden camera; the way they had pushed you to the ground, before grabbing you, leading you out of your apartment a few minutes away from him. “I don’t know what I should do.” He says.

There’s a bit of silence, until the AI speaks up again. “Do you have a romantic interest in my creator?” She asks, and his head snaps up at that.

“What the fuck? Why would you ask me this?!” He barks, unsure where to look since he can only hear the voice.

“I have observed both my creator and your behaviors; you seem to have a very deep rooted interest in each others well-being and opinions. This is commonly found in partnerships. I was only asking you to confirm if my assumption is correct.”

He’s silent for a moment, until he speaks again, watching the announcement van pass his window; voices dull and unintelligible though the walls and windows. “It’s no use anyways. Who wants someone they can’t even shake hands with?” He sighs, looking into his lap again. He hates that he’s like this; that even though he very much loves and adores you, there’s no magic moment that makes him forget- even though he craves the contact, he can’t do it. Every time he’s close to you, he knows that he could simply hug you; or let you rest your head on his shoulder, like in romantic movies. He wants to hold your hand, wipe your tears- but his body won’t cooperate. He can’t do it.

Not even with you.

“Creator seems very comfortable with you.” The AI states. “I have been asked to archive all text messages and phone calls of you two recently. When I asked for a reason, she claimed she would need it someday- I was unsure what she meant.” Jungkook furrows his brow, raising his head again. “Sometimes, when creator is deeply upset, she has the habit of playing some of the recordings of you singing, or reminding her to take care. My research has shown that it slows down her heartbeat to a more normal level and also improves her insomnia.” Jungkooks eyes widen at that.

Does that mean.. that you like him back?

"Kana, fuck- cut the feed." He says, agitated.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and he sighs, before yelling his frustration out, sitting down to take a deep breath. He slowly shook his head no. He couldn't let all your hard work go to waste like this.

He couldn't stay a coward.

"Jungkook, it appears to be that the creator is being let go." Kana suddenly chimes up, and Jungkook rushes to his pc setup to see for himself. And she's right- your arm is being held tightly, and something is being said to you, but your hands are no longer chained to the chair- you're free.

What just happened?

Jungkook sometimes really hates himself for being the way he is.

There's no sugarcoating it that you need comfort now more than ever, even though you don't openly show it to him. He can see it in the way you're still biting your nails, he can see it in your eyes which never stay on one point for too long. And he can definitely see it in the bruises on your upper arm, and the cut on your lower lip where you had bitten in anger and frustration. He wants to comfort you, he knows you'd let him- and yet he can't move any closer than where he is right now; only the length of his palm of space between you two. And yet it's like his joints are locked into place. He can't touch you.

What if he hurts you?

And it dawns on him right then and there while he watches you drink your can of overly sweet soda while typing your code like second nature, that he's not scared of you hurting him. He's scared of doing to you, what's been done to him. Because deep down he is aware that his parents never had bad intentions, never hated him or wanted him to suffer; they were simply unsure and not at all confident in how to really care for a child. They had been caught off guard and gotten overwhelmed by the sudden shift in their situation that they never truly knew what to do. And nowadays he felt like he was simply heading down the same road.

He was starting to feel like he was becoming just like them.

"Hm?" You ask him, ripping him out of his thoughts as he looks at you, your eyes wide and worried as you put down your almost empty can of soda. "What is it?" You ask him, and he wants to scream. He wants to throw a fit like a child at the way you seem to worry for him every time you should worry for yourself. He's a coward, he's useless, he's everything you don't need nor deserve in his eyes, and yet you always look at him like he's the main character of your favorite movie.

If he was, he was sure he'd be merely a sidekick- because you deserved to be the focus of every story told in his eyes. And if you weren't included in the tale, he knew he didn't want to ever know about it.

He swallows, before he manages to make his hand move, finger pointing at your arm where a green-ish bruise already formed. "Does it hurt?" He asks, and he's not even sure if he's asking you about the bruise, of if he's asking something else. He doesn't know what he's saying, doesn't even know if he's asking you or himself.

"No." You answer, and he looks at you, searching for any hint of a lie in your eyes. But he only sees that slight smile, lips turned a little, almost unnoticeable. But its there, he can see it, and he wants to print it into his mind to never forget it. You were so observant, knew him so well, that he was almost certain you knew of his inner fight and what he really meant with his blurted out question. "Are you okay?" You ask him, and he swallows again, eyes stinging with unshed tears as his body grows rigid like an unoiled machine, only moving with as much force as he can manage to come up with. His breathing is heavy as his eyes can't leave the spot on your arm, and your watch him with wide eyes as his shaking hand slowly reaches out.

He doesn't know what he expects to really happen.

Maybe like those electric shocks you get when someone had rubbed their socks on a carpet before touching someone else. Maybe he had expected to recoil instantly. Maybe he had expected nothing- but he was suddenly in a rush the moment his fingertip touched your warm skin, delicate, soft, everything his rough hands weren't.

And you were still as prey in front of a wolf.

But the wolf in this scenario was holding his breath while his tears finally fell. He wants to speak, but he can't, he doesn't know how to ask for something when he doesn't even know if he wants it.

But suddenly he moves again, his palm now resting fully against your upper arm, shaking, as it moves over the length of it, softly, as he imprints the way your soft skin feels. "Jungkook.." You whisper out, and he suddenly snaps, leans forward, his legs on either side of your body as he snakes his arms around you from behind, pulling you close to his chest. You can feel him shake as he holds you, his cheek resting against your back and you don't care about his tears staining your shirt as he suddenly cries openly and possibly for the first time since he was a mere child.

He's unsure, overwhelmed, because you're so warm, you smell so nice, you're so soft, and he can't let go, doesn't want to let go. He whines out as you turn a bit as he thinks you're moving away but you're simply placing your legs over his as you sit in his lap, hugging him back as you make sure to give him a gentle squeeze.

He calms down after a long while of simply existing. Of breathing you in, of feeling you. "You're right." He whispers into your neck, and you can't help but shiver, leaning into his hug.

"It doesn't hurt at all."

"You know, I get why you come up here." You comment, as Jungkook makes sure to hold your hand tightly in his, your feet dangling off the edge of the building you're sitting on top of. "It's nice." You say.

He's not listening that well though.

All he can really do is watch your face, illuminated by the neon lights of the city, hair swaying in the wind as you look down below. He doesn't quite know what you two really are, doesn't know how long it will take him to really come out of his shell and give you the love you deserve, but he's trying. He's fighting, he's left his cowardly self behind.

He want's to change.

And not just for you alone, because while he hates seeing you hurt, he knows what you two are doing- what all of you are doing- is for the greater good.

Jungkook hates your ideas sometimes.

Simply because he knows they will work, but also end up with you getting into danger at the end of it. And just like now, all he can do really is hope that you make it out as he keeps a watchful eye on your movements from above, giving you directions via Kana as you sometimes trip and stumble a little.

You're not a very active person; running wasn't really your thing.

Fuck, you were basically a hermit, the most you walked around was from your bedroom into the kitchen!

But then again, sacrifices had to be made somewhere. And Jungkook really admired you; because every time he thought that you had reached your limit, you would face it head first and break through it.

"Ace, try and somehow get to higher ground. They're caging you in from all sides." He urgently tells you as he watches police chase you down the roads, pushing citizens aside to not loose sight of you.

The plan had been simple. Gain all the attention so Taehyung could infect one of the police station's servers with a new worm, giving you all a better and easier access to any data and communication of the area. Jungkook couldn't play the bate well enough; and you had been on their radar already, making you the best option to gain their interest quickly enough.

Although Jungkook hated that part.

"Come on, ah fuck it." He grits out, jumping down to grab a ladder, making his way to a nearby area he could pull you up. There was no way you could reach any of the fire ladders yourself, and by now, things were getting too hot for him to risk anything. "Here!" He barks out, not thinking twice about grabbing your hand and helping you upwards, trying not to worry too much about your heavy breathing. And then there's it.

A pop, loud, followed by another, and another, and another. You're suddenly falling, scraping your knees on the ground below as he can't catch you, too startled by the fact that they had actually decided to shoot to react quick enough. "Fuck!" He says, eyes wide and pupils blown as he looks at you.

"Jungkook, why the fuck aren't you running?!" You yell at him, a scratch on the top of your left cheek as you push his leg away from you- the only thing you can reach. "Go!" You bark again, and he growls out something, before he manages to pull you onto his back, adrenaline not letting his brain process what he's doing.

He can't just leave you.

"Taehyung, get out, Ace has been shot. Whatever was uploaded has to be enough." He says via the in-ear piece, doesn't wait for a response. He still gets it.

"Fuck, what?! Okay okay, I'm out" He says, and Jungkook can only catch a glimpse of the older man leaving the building via the backside entrance. He's only concerned with getting you somewhere safe.

"Urgh." You groan, slowly sitting up on Jungkooks couch. "I mean, I know paintball hurts, but rubber bullets? Jesus.." You complain, while Jungkook looks at you with a dark expression. "What?" You ask him, and he huffs.

"You sound like you haven't almost been killed yesterday." He grimly says, and you shrug. "Stop. I'm serious." He tells you, and you let yourself fall back down onto his couch.

"Whatever. At least we killed their communication." You say, closing your eyes. "Must've at least pissed them off." You say.

"Kana." Jungkook suddenly says, waiting for the familiar sound to tell him she's active. "Shut down for now." He says, and you sit up, hissing instantly at the sudden movement.

"Hey- ah fuck!" You say, as you watch on your bracelet how Kana complies; shutting down. "Why would you do that?" You say in an offended matter, before you grow quiet, watching him go onto his knees in front of you, as he lets his head rest on top of your lap.

"I just want.. you to myself. Just.." He mumbles, and you slowly bring your hand to his hair. "Just for a moment." He says, and you sigh. Jungkook had been under a lot of stress recently, you no doubt being the main cause of most of it recently. So you simply let him be, as he closed his eyes. "Y/N?" He asks suddenly, and you answer him. "I love you." He says, and your body stops moving.

What?

"It's okay if you don't." He says, not moving from his spot, and neither opening his eyes. "I mean it. I only want you to know." He explains further. "Because I.. couldn't fucking live with myself if something happened to you, and I've never told you." He admits, and you can't help but stare at him. Jungkook looked down on himself so much that it was sometimes frustrating to see; simply because you saw him as such an amazing human being with countless talents and beautiful flaws.

You knew you couldn't muster up the strength to actually answer him; not so spontaneously. You weren't that expressive, you couldn't communicate as freely and colorful as he could. All your words seemed black and white to you, mixing into grey and mundane sentences while his words seemed to bloom into the most amazing paintings. He had a way of charming those around him- and he didn't even know.

You slowly leaned down instead, moving his hair to the side as you placed a feather-light kiss to the top of his cheek, close to his eye.

You hoped he would somehow understand you.

And as he moved again, looking at you with eyes that sparkled brighter than any city's skyline ever could, you knew he did.

He'd always understand you, no matter how you communicated with him.

You didn't need words to understand each other.

The shy kiss you two shared, bathed in the purple glow of the neon lights outside his window, spoke enough.

"You should try and sleep." Jungkook tells you, taking away your can of soda as you whine at him. "No buts. Come on, I'll finish this for you." He says, and you let him take over the keyboard of your laptop. It's something you really only let him get away with- anyone else would've probably lost a finger or two trying to touch your work.

You don't trust anyone but him at this point.

"I know that Kana snitched." You comment, as you lean your back against his shoulder. He chuckles. "Can't believe my own creation goes behind my back like that." You mumble, and Jungkook has a light tune to his voice as he speaks.

"Well, it's a good thing though." He tells you. "I worry about you." He says.

"Ugh come on, you know that's not the part I meant." You laugh, and he grins.

"Oh, you mean the part where you listen to my crappy ass singing to help you sleep?" He tells you with a teasing undertone. "No wonder you got insomnia trying to find rest to that." He chuckles, and you playfully hit his thigh.

"Shut up, your voice is nice." You say, and he's glad your eyes are closed, and you can't see him blush.

Somehow, moments like these re-energized him again. Because it proved to him that there was still a piece of that innocent and untainted you inside that thick shell you had put up to protect yourself. And considering that you let him see you like that made his pride grow taller than any of the skyscrapers of his city.

Maybe one day the two of you will have a future together that won't be so difficult and unfair like your current one was. Maybe one day, you both will have changed enough to teach the next generation about what you've overcome.

But then again; living in the moment seemed to fit a lot better in his eyes, as he watched you sleep soundly against his shoulder.

Yeah, this moment was more than enough for now.

The world won't change over night- you both know that. All of you know that. But small things were starting to make a difference here and there; for example, the letter you held towards Jungkook as his eyes widened.

"..and we have officially decided that we no longer want to participate in the case against the defendant. The result of this agreement is that all charges against Y/N L/N have been dismissed and are no longer being investigated." He reads out loud, almost whispering as if saying it too loud could make it a lie. "They let you go?" He asks, and you nod, the small bandaid on your cheek making you look even cuter in his eyes as you shrug.

"Jimin had reached out too. They've let him go home as well." You say. and Jungkook huffs out in disbelief.

After infecting the police station with the worm you had all worked on, you had scared the entire country enough to take a step back from the overall aggressive tone. It wasn't much- but it meant that they knew you were there. You existed, and you were not bowing down.

You were still untamed.

Jungkook smiled brightly as he put the letter down to the side, reaching out to you to pull you onto his lap. He simply holds you for a moment, his lips kissing the skin of your shoulder as if in a trance. "I love you." He tells you, and you smile, squeezing him a bit in your arms. "I really do." He assures you, and you nod.

You don't answer him, and he doesn't seem to mind as he leans back from you, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins, hands holding your face so delicately as he places a kiss onto your lips, making you close your eyes as he breaks away from you, letting you rest your head against his shoulder.

He's still not letting anyone very physically close other than you; he's still scared of going out and around like everyone else. You're still rather hiding inside his apartment- both of your apartment now- and you still have trouble sleeping.

But Jungkook keeps the nightmares away.

And you make him brave in exchange.

It's really weird to hear the sound of a radio nowadays.

Things are still far from normal- but recently, citizens had been given radios to listen to public broadcast again. It only played crappy music with some rare good tracks here and there, but it was better than nothing.

Jungkook couldn't help but think that your breathless voice was far more entertaining than any music station he can remember from his youth.

While he hates touching other people, even friends and family, he can't help but feel a rush whenever he touches you.

His hands can't stop on one specific spot, can't seem to stay still even for a moment as his lips nip and suck at the flesh of your neck and shoulder, marking what's his, visualizing that you really belong to him. He bears the same mark on his collarbone from last night, and he should have been satisfied, but even an early morning couldn't keep him away from you.

The rain hit the window harshly, but he didn't notice at all. All his eyes could see was your form underneath him, skin glowing as he moves above you, euphoria filling his veins as he can't look away from where you're connected, where his cock disappears inside of you over and over and over again.

"I love you." He breathes out as he comes undone, holding you close, resting his head against your shoulder, as you hold onto his arms, a smile, a genuine and big smile thrown his way as he can't help but smile along.

"I love you too, Jungkook." You say, and he chuckles.

The radio in the background still playing, as you lay in each others' arms.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please stop reposting my content on AO3 thinking I won't find it. I'm literally everywhere you clowns.

To everyone else: Thank you for reading this mess- I really apologize for the messy storyline, but I just wanted to put this out before the entire thing escaped me again and I would end up struggling to find my way back into it (cough cough flashback to mean lmao). I promise to somewhat post more regularly. Thank you for your kind words and for sticking with me!

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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battlestar-royco · 4 years

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here is part 2 of my sci fi recs masterlist! again, i could’ve gone on with even more recs but i decided to draw the line here. this set for the most part errs on the darker side, thematically, visually, conceptually etc. i personally find it super thought-provoking and intriguing but that’s just me. i highly recommend reading the tw under the cut if you’re thinking of watching, especially the matrix and space gothic slides. please view at your discretion <3

part 1/2

If you like WLW (um idk why I only made this slide based on identity; it just kinda happened lmao but I think it works):

Siren: (tw: parent loss, grief, thalassophobia) a mermaid surfaces in a cove town looking for her lost sister. Polyamorous relationship between a man, a black/indigenous woman, and the mermaid!!!! Environmentalism! As a person who has thalassophobia, I didn’t find this too hard to watch. There aren’t that many underwater scenes, thankfully.

Black Mirror: San Junipero: (tw: grief, but otherwise none that I recall; it’s pretty lighthearted) two women meet in a beach resort in the 80s and fall in love. Interracial wlw!

Orphan Black: (tw: suicide, infertility, rape implication, VB, language, drug use) a woman realizes she is one of several clones and uncovers an elaborate corporate conspiracy. This is one of my personal favorites with great rep of complex women of all ages and bodily autonomy. Several central queer characters and a black male secondary character!

Starfish: (tw: grief, a few jump scares and brief monstrous imagery, blood) after the death of her best friend, a young woman breaks into the deceased’s apartment and discovers a chain of music tapes that could save the world. Weird, subtle, and experimental. Not to sound like a surfer but you kinda have to allow yourself to be in the vibe. The main character and her friend were definitely a thing imo.

Annihilation: (tw: body horror, VB, disturbing imagery) a team of women scientists explore an anomaly that rapidly mutates genes. There are canonical and coded wlw and multiple (light-skinned) POC in this but the rep is short-lived. I put it on because although it should’ve been more ambitious with the casting, I think it breaks *some* ground for Hollywood sci fi with the all-woman team and more than one WOC. Wack ending though.

Mad Max: Fury Road: (tw: rape implication, violence) I think everyone knows about this one but: in the apocalypse, a woman breaks 4 younger women out of a harem. A badass car chase across the desert ensues. A bit light on plot/worldbuilding, but sooooo cool-looking and very thematic!!!!

If you liked STRANGER THINGS:

It: (tw: VB) don’t actually watch this lmao I’m serious. It’s really stupid, and not in a funny way. But I do think Stranger Things was inspired by this story overall. The modern It films are better but they’re also really kjslsklskls stupid? Stephen King in general is obsolete imo.

The Thing: (tw: VB) an alien that can take the form of others wreaks havoc on a scientific facility in Antarctica. It’s dark and vibey, but I feel like it’s just Alien in Antarctica with truly terrible special effects tbh?? Others feel differently. It’s also classified as sci fi/horror, so stay away if you’re easily scared! Not too good on representation.

Super 8: (tw: some language) a group of preteens witnesses an alien-caused train crash as they’re filming a home movie. Not diverse but I definitely think it inspired a lot of sci fi for the 2010s, ESPECIALLY Stranger Things. Not too scary either!

ET: (tw: it’s been a really long time since I watched so I don’t remember but it’s rated PG) I think everyone knows what this is about!

Alien: (tw: VB) truckers in space discover a deadly evolving alien. One of my favorite movies of all time! I love the aesthetic and the mood and worldbuilding so much. Ellen Ripley is one of the first Final Girls in the horror genre. I personally found this more of a sci fi than a horror movie but I’d say stay away if you’re nervous!!

Terminator: (tw: VB) a deadly android is sent to kill a woman who’s destined to birth the man who saves the world. Terminator 2 is way better imo because it centers on Sarah rather than the dudes saving her and trying to kill her. But it’s still worth a watch, you know, for the culture.

If you liked CONTAGION:

War of the Worlds: (tw: blood) pretty straightforward aliens come to Earth to take over. Sorry to rec another T*m Cruise movie but I really like the alien design and the apocalypsey feel of this one. Baby Dakota Fanning is in it too!

Falling Skies: (tw: VB, body horror, rape) alien invasion yada yada but the alien lore gets more interesting as it goes on. It’s kind of cheesy and yeah maybe I did discover it by looking up the iCarly boyfriend (and what about it??) but it’s nice to have on in the downtime. An Asian woman co-stars.

Knowing: (tw: blood) school students unearth a time capsule that contains a sheet from a girl who predicted all the tragic world events between 1959-2009. This is NOT a good movie but it’s SO hilarious to me because of the acting and contrivances. Fun to group-watch!!!!

10 Cloverfield Lane: (tw: VB, emotional abuse) a woman wakes up in a bunker to a captor who tells her that the world has fallen to alien apocalypse. I think this movie elevates the original Cloverfield in pretty much every way. Again, super tense and moody. The conflict revolves around whether or not the captor is being truthful.

Train to Busan: (tw: extreme VB and disturbing imagery) a man and his daughter are on a train when a zombie hops on at the last minute. It’s Korean with an all-Asian cast; Choi Woo-shik co-stars. I definitely wouldn’t watch if you’re scared of blood and gore. It’s very gross and violent.

12 Monkeys: (tw: ableism, violence) a man from the 2030s is sent back to the 1990s to prevent the plague that will end the world. I think the aesthetics of this are really cool but otherwise it’s not a favorite. But I think it appeals to people who like apocalypse and time travel stuff!

If you liked THE MATRIX:

Strange Days: (tw: rape, sex, nudity, VB, racism, police brutality) memories can be saved to hard-drives and sold on the black market for exorbitant prices. Very problematic and triggering presentation of rape, but young Angela Basset stars and there’s a condemnation of police brutality that’s still relevant 20+ years after its release.

Upgrade: (tw: ableism, VB, fridging) a disabled man installs an AI in his spine to help him move and investigate the murder of his wife. The premise is glaringly ableist and I feel weird even recommending it tbh but it’s got great visuals and a few good twists.

Altered Carbon: (tw: VB, weird interracial body switching, uhhh I haven’t finished this one IDK) in a society where human bodies are interchangeable, a man wakes up in a new body after 300 years of his mind being dormant. A Latina woman co-stars, two Asian characters in a subplot, a few other POC here and there as well. I think season 2 stars a black man.

eXistenZ: (tw: VB, anti-Asian racism, general weirdness? IDK it’s hard to describe. There are guns made out of bones and weirdly sexual visuals.) after someone tries to assassinate her, a video game designer and her bodyguard must play through her virtual reality game in order to save the only copy of the game.

Minority Report: (tw: VB, eye removal/insertion) all crimes are predicted and criminals reported before they are committed. The main character is preemptively accused of murder. This one is really white but it was one of the first movies that got me into sci fi. Early 2000s Colin Farrell <3.

If you liked WESTWORLD:

Humans: (tw: uncanny valley, objectification) androids are household helpers and public assistants throughout Britain until one day they start developing consciences. It hits a lot of the themes of Westworld without all the unnecessary pretentiousness, “edginess,” and “grittiness,” and it stars Gemma Chan and Colin Morgan!!

Blade Runner 2049: (^) an android is ordered to find and kill a human/android hybrid. It’s not without its issues but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Alien. So beautiful, so thematic, so thought-provoking (to me, anyway. I know a lot of people thought it was way too slow).

Ex Machina: (^) a man is invited to a private estate to help test the intelligence of an android. It’s kind of predictable imo but you know Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno are in it so we have to stan, and so is Domhnall Gleeson, for the SW fans! I like how isolated and quiet it feels.

I Am Mother: (tw: blood, gaslighting) after an extinction event, a young woman is raised by a lone android in a human repopulation facility until one day a woman knocks. It starts off slow and a bit generic, but I’m obsessed with the 2nd and 3rd acts of this movie---good acting, dialogue, and fantastic visuals. It has that same isolated feel as Ex Machina with only three characters, all of which are women/woman-coded!!!

If you liked ALIEN (space gothic):

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008 reboot): (tw: genocide, war, colonization, VB, uncanny valley, rape, infidelity) space opera that follows humanity as it fights the ever-evolving and powerful enemy of their own creation: androids named Cylons. Um? I L O V E THIS SHOW SO MUCH and I truly do think it’s everything sci fi should be. There is a really unfortunate Miss Saigon-esque romance plot in season 1 and a lazily-written love triangle involving a black woman in season 3, but otherwise it’s one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend. It’ll spin your mind and tug your heartstrings for years.

Black Mirror: Men Against Fire: (tw: genocide, war, nudity) soldiers in the near future protect citizens from mutant zombies, but one soldier starts experiencing strange hallucinations in the field. This is such an underrated Black Mirror episode starring a black man. There’s brief objectification of a black woman but it’s very anti-military and it has an interesting sterile aesthetic that reminds me of Alien.

High Life: (tw: rape, black holes/space anxiety, very disturbing) prisoners are given the option to join a space expedition and serve as experimental subjects en route to a black hole. Please please stay away if you are triggered by sexual violence of any kind. There’s almost no physical violence in this movie but it’s psychologically haunting imo.

The Faculty: (tw; VB, drug use) high schoolers discover their teachers are being possessed by an invading alien race. I LOVE THIS MOVIE LMFAOOOO. The cast is SO wild---Elijah Wood, John Oliver, Usher, Salma Hayek, Josh Hartnett??? And I’m probably forgetting more. The combination of the cast, the terrible dialogue, and shitty special effects is PEAK comedy imo. But bear in mind it’s bloody!!

Prometheus: (tw: body horror, VB, uncanny valley) a crew of scientists heads on a deep space mission to find the aliens who created the human race. A prequel to Alien, but I kind of view it as its own thing. Despite the plot holes, I love this movie too! It was one of my sci fi gateways and the visuals are stunning. It’s pretty gory though so if that’s not your thing stay away.

Life: (tw: extreme VB) a lesser Alien, but it provides all the space gothic tropes (jokey crew, shots of space, really pretty spaceship, everyone dies, creepy alien) with a well-known cast---Gyllenhaal, Reynolds, etc.

The X Files: (tw: a few episodes contain 90s racism, sexism, queerphobia etc but you can skip them) a lot of people have watched this so I barely have to explain, but it’s one of my favorites. Two FBI agents investigate multiple aliens and get involved in government conspiracies along the way. A good gateway!

A Quiet Place: (tw: child loss, VB, tension) I think most people know what this is about too. Alien apocalypse with aliens that hunt by sound. The daughter in the family is deaf, and so is the actress who portrays her. The representation of deafness was critically acclaimed.

#maxine talks sci fi #movie recs #maxine did you read/watch

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rutilation · 5 years

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Does mulching a prisoner of war into shiny little woodchips before burying them alive indefinitely count as a violation of the Geneva Conventions? Asking for a friend.

(Hi guys, I’m back, and I brought 4,400 words with me.)

First of all, my apologies for the nearly five month wait. Ever since last spring, I haven’t had much time at all to devote to writing and I’ve only been able to work on this essay in small increments. And yet, despite the fact that I don’t have the time to do so, this essay somehow turned into a bloated treatise on the failings of gem society. Truly, I am a slave to my obsessions.

I’ve refrained from reading chapter 80 because I just know that if I do, it will insinuate itself into my brain like a tumor and I won’t be able to concentrate on finishing this essay. (That said, I did happen to see someone on twitter make a joking reference to third impact in regards to said chapter, so I am certainly Afraid.) Though my takes may be ice cold by this point, I hope that there are some nuggets of insight to be found in this. With that said, here are my thoughts on chapters 78 and 79.

While the past two chapters have certainly been…hard to read, I think that their contents have been a long time coming, primarily regarding the parallels between Phos and Kongou, and the uglier undercurrents of gem society reaching their logical conclusion. (And I gotta say, this display of—for lack of a better term—inhumanity on the part of the gems jives quite well with all the Shirley Jackson I’ve been reading lately. When I get tired of one display of flagrant mob violence, I can quickly flip to another.)

And then there’s the matter of the gems on the moon… I remember that when I first got into hnk, which was right around the time when Phos and the others left for the moon, everyone was afraid that Phos would go off the deep end and the gems stuck on the moon would end up as collateral damage in Phos’s quest for vengeance. But since Ichikawa is too powerful us, she said “what if it was the other way around, and Phos is the one getting thrown under the bus while the moon gems start a death cult?”

So there’s a lot to talk about, but let’s address the earth gems first, because these characters sure do live in a society. (In order to make my prose more tolerable, I encourage my readership to take a shot every time I write the words “gem society.”)

First of all, I’ve seen a number of people interpret Kongou’s line about the gems forgetting Phos very literally, and assume that the earth gems all have Phos-specific amnesia. I highly doubt this is the case, and he probably just means that Phos is now out of sight and out of mind.

As bleak as the situation is, I think it’s been a long time coming. From the beginning, one of the major philosophical elements of the story has been how the gems’ desire to give meaning to their long lives has compelled them to create a society in which only those with a concrete purpose have value. The characters see themselves and each other as instrumentally but not inherently valuable. With so much of the story focused on how this ethos hurts those individuals who aren’t seen as useful, how much it fosters shame and self-hatred, and how much it makes the gems unable and unwilling to help each other through hardship and depression, it makes sense to me that this inhumane mindset would eventually boil over into something truly cruel, and thus the other shoe has finally dropped. In a strange way, I have more respect for Rutile’s attitude towards the situation than I do the rest of the earth gems (sans Euclase, who I’ll get to in a moment.) Rutile is treating Phos like an enemy that must be vanquished, whereas the others are treating Phos as a kid treats their dirty clothes when they don’t want to do laundry—by shoving it in the back of a closet and trying to forget about it. The former strikes me as less dishonest and dehumanizing than the latter.

Even before chapter 79 made it official, I had a gut feeling that the timetable for figuring out what to do with Phos was nonexistent. I’ll be generous and assume Cinnabar was being sincere in the moment when they implied that they’d put Phos back together eventually. But just like how everyone ignored Cinnabar’s suffering because there was no compelling incentive to do anything about it, or how they all turned a blind eye to the Kongou/Lunarian situation for millennia, I figured that Phos would end up as another problem they wouldn’t bother solving. (Regarding Cinnabar, while I hope they’re still on good terms with everyone after the time skip, I would not be the least bit surprised if the earth gems started ostracizing them again once it became apparent that there would be no new attacks from the moon and thus no further reason to tolerate their mercury.)

(Bort, please stick up for them.)

And to be clear, this is a problem that the earth gems are refusing to solve in exchange for a short-term sense of security. If Phos and Kongou had been allowed to hash things out, and this stalemate hadn’t festered for 220 years, then maybe the moon gems wouldn’t be entertaining the idea of starting that aforementioned death cult. (Tbh, this mostly applies to 84, Yellow, and Dia, since Cairn has been their own personal death cult since chapter 33.) Even leaving aside how bad things have gotten already, if this state of affairs had continued to drag on, I think the situation would have gotten very ugly the second Aechmea got tired of waiting. While playing fruit ninja or whatever with Cairngorm, he says something to the effect of losing a battle here or there isn’t important as long as you win the war in the end, which I’m pretty sure is meant to communicate to the audience that Aechmea is playing the long game. And since he hasn’t done anything in the interim other than reluctantly and incrementally humor Cairngorm’s pet project, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he’s biding his time specifically for Phos, and that he’s counting on them eventually being reawakened. In that case, what would have happened if Kongou had been too meek to interfere, and the gems succeeded in getting rid of Phos for good? If Aechmea eventually gave up on his current scheme, scrapped working with Phos, and came up with a new plan, I’m betting things would quickly devolve into heinous war crimes since he’s only played nice so far in order to keep Phos on his side.

In chapter 78, we get to see two instances of the most common nugget of gem wisdom: only act when you’re guaranteed to succeed, and never take risks. It been a common refrain, with Antarc, and more subtly, Dia being the only gems aside from Phos to push back against that sentiment. And to be clear, I’m not saying any one of these iterations necessarily are bad advice, but it’s become increasingly obvious that it’s the only acceptable mode of dealing with problems in gem society. More on that in a minute.

So, uh, regarding Euclase, here’s an exclusive picture of me, after I’d spent months writing: “Gee, this Euclase character seems pretty shady, but I have faith in Cinnabar, Bort, and Jade to act humanely!’

That said, I think I got at least one aspect of their characterization right in my Euclase-focused essay—that they have a greater comprehension of their mortality than most. Unlike the other gems, they’re not childishly naïve enough to believe that ignoring their problems will save them; they understand that death is always around the corner, and that the (mostly) tranquil life the gems lead requires constant maintenance. Simply sliding down the path of least resistance will come back to bite them all in the ass later down the line, and Euclase knows it. That’s probably why they at least went through the motions of asking Kongou to pray every day for two hundred twenty years.

This is a bit of a tangent, but regarding my earlier point about the gems not commiserating at all, Peridot and Sphene come across as anomalies in that they helped each other through their grief over their lost partners, but that doesn’t seem to happen all that often. As we see in the aftermath of the winter arc, it seemingly did not occur to any of the gems who had lost friends of their own to try and help Phos through their grief. And I think it’s likely that they weren’t given much comfort in their hours of need either. Yellow bottled up their grief, Alex and (presumably) Red Beryl threw themselves into their work to the point of obsession, and Ghost seemed to have largely withdrawn from everyone else. But none of them really healed or helped anyone else heal. Despite their society placing a high value on interdependence, the gems are truly alone when they have to reckon with complicated or inconvenient emotions.

It may be hard to remember, but Phos was once influenced by all these toxic mindsets as well. Recall Phos’s conversation with Benito in chapter two: it implies that Cinnabar did live with the other gems during Phos’s lifetime, recently enough that Phos expects to find them in their room. From this we can infer that our kindhearted Phos never reached out to the clearly lonely Cinnabar while they were actually around, and didn’t even notice when they left the school for good. They may have had the potential for kindness from a very young age, but it was only when they were hit with with the stark truth of Cinnabar’s suffering that they snapped out of the fog of apathy that seems to surround the gems.

In fact, it almost seems like the struggle to drag the gems kicking and screaming out of their comfort zone is a macrocosm for what Phos had to grow out of at the beginning of the series. You’ll recall that once upon a time they were lazy, wanted easy solutions to their problems, and had no faith in their ability to effect change. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that in the eyes of gem society, the problem wasn’t really that Phos was lazy, it’s that their laziness manifested in the wrong ways. They were supposed to be fastidious and reliable about things like crafting, or fighting, or writing reports, but apathetic towards anything that requires more nuance or imagination than that, kindness or cruelty be damned.

All this is cast into even sharper relief if you think back on the arc with Ventricosus. She was in far more dire straits than the earth gems are now, and had a compelling incentive to throw Phos under the bus. But in the end, that wasn’t a line she was willing to cross. Her final line: “If we’re not willing to change our ways, we’ll end up just like the Lunarians,” seems quite portentous in retrospect. I don’t think Ichikawa is positing that being immortal makes you a sociopath, otherwise characters like Kongou, Yellow, and Padpa wouldn’t be such cinnamon buns. But I think she is insinuating that someone who refuses to change is dooming themselves to a state of perpetual immaturity, and that being truly kind requires growing up a bit. It’s a harder for someone who knows they’ll die one day to remain in a state of arrested development than it is for someone who could indefinitely procrastinate on growing up, and just focus all their mental energy into making paper or whatever for all of eternity.

And this seems as good a point as any to stop harping on gem society and start talking about the gems on the moon, starting with my muse, my most problematic of faves.

I brought up in my chapter 77 essay that Aechmea may not be willing to divulge what he was about to tell Cairn, and that was exactly what happened. Since he’s only willing to share this mysterious information if he literally would not be around for the fall out, I’m guessing that whatever this secret is, it’s not benign. And while Cairn has probably put it out of their mind by chapter 79, it’s clear that it’s bugging them before the time skip. I smell a shocking revelation brewing and I dread to imagine what could possibly top mind-control eyeballs. Make no mistake, I’ve devoted an embarrassing amount of brainspace the past nine months or so to contemplating what it will look like when the other shoe finally drops for Cairn’s character arc. (Is there a German word for the ambivalence that arises from wanting to call future plot twists for bragging rights, but not wanting to look like a dipshit if your predictions are wrong?)

Their line from chapter 78 that I alluded to earlier in this essay is rather interesting to me, because although they’re referring to Phos, they might as well be talking about Aechmea. They exhausted themselves to their breaking point trying to look after someone who didn’t take care of themselves, but they’ve nonetheless latched onto someone who is also seeking self-destruction. And as I pointed out earlier in this essay, this line also serves as yet another iteration of the defeatist sentiment that the gems often espouse. But, for a while, it had seemed like Cairn was moving away from that. The decision Cairn made in chapter 67 was certainly…fraught. But, one can’t deny that it wasn’t a brave one on their part, to leave behind everything they knew and cared about for a shot at living authentically; the only problem was that they undercut that step forward by returning to their chronic doormat tendencies. And again in chapter 70, they took a risk by sneaking off to earth knowing that Aechmea would pitch a fit later. But ever since chapter 75, they’ve been backsliding. As said chapter pointed out, their wish has shifted from wanting freedom to wanting what amounts to eternal codependency. I also find it interesting that Cairngorm apparently hasn’t bothered with getting a new name, and is just copying Aechmea’s shtick of going by his title. They’ve gone from sharing a name with Ghost, to having their own name, to not having a name at all. In conclusion, my child is a god damned mess.

I know I said I was done talking about gem society, but I guess I’m not. Going back to what I said in the last paragraph, about Phos not taking care of themselves, that’s been a reoccurring element throughout the series, and in my opinion, it was a significant contributor to the breakdown of Phos’s relationships. The reason Phos never just tried to make friends with Cinnabar—which is what the latter really wanted, and only focused their efforts on following through on their promise, was because Phos’s self-loathing runs so deep that it doesn’t occur to them that anyone would actually want their company for its own sake. Chapter 14 is the most direct allusion to this in my mind. Phos clearly wants to talk to Cinnabar, but instead they hide away and mutter that they’d have nothing to say to them. And as I touched on a moment ago, Phos’s self-destructive tendencies wore down Cairngorm over the course of their partnership.

But, here’s the thing: Phos’s self-loathing isn’t some immutable part of their nature, it was instilled in them by their society from the moment it became apparent that Phos couldn’t slot neatly into a role. This is very apparent in the early chapters, in which no one ever misses an opportunity to remind Phos of their uselessness (except Dia, bless their heart.) Back then, they pretended to not care about it by way of snark and bravado, but in truth, I think it warped their self-perception in an incredibly negative way.

There’s also something that illustrates this which has been on my mind for a while, but I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about it. When Phos was trapped by their arms during Antarc’s fateful capture, the insult they yelled at their arms to get them moving is the same one that Bort lobbed at them a few times in volume one. I usually see different translations of the word between the two scenes, but to my non-Japanese-fluent ears, it sounded like the same word to me when I watched the anime. It was a striking way of implying that this moment of personal growth had been seeded with something more insidious, that their self-loathing is a taint that has followed them across their many incarnations. I’m not the first one to point this out, but there’s always been a certain tension within the text regarding Phos’s changes. On one hand, their courage to change is framed as admirable and heroic, but on the other hand, they’re also hurting themselves because of social pressure to avoid being useless, which is kind of awful. I think the narrative resolves this tension by making Phos’s quest for validation something which would eventually lead them to try and tear down the status quo that they hurt themselves for in the first place.

Okay, back to the moon gems. I’ve reread the part of chapter 79 focused on the moon several times, and it just feels more ominous with each iteration. What exactly was their idea of administering therapy for Yellow? Why is Amethyst on board with Cairn’s death bullshit? Why is Dia okay with it? Why did they stop fixing the dusted gems? And most concerning, where are the other three gems—especially Alex who would probably be extremely opposed to halting the gem restoration? It feels as if there’s something terrible just out of our field of view and chapter 79 is dancing around it. (But hey, my intuition was wrong about Euclase so maybe when I read chapter 80 Ichikawa will tell me that Alex, Goshe, and Benito were at moon-disneyland the whole time, and that Aechmea is a real swell guy, actually.)

(No, I’m not bitter in the least.)

I also find it interesting that in chapter 79, Cairn is espousing a lot of the same sentiments as poor Yellow, but since they can mask the dysfunction better, they’re treated as an expert rather than a victim. In reality, both of them are in serious need of a therapist, which is apparently non-existent in the post-post-apocalypse.

And finally, Barbata continues to be the truest audience surrogate. I find it interesting that he clearly doesn’t approve of all the bullshit going on, while at the same time being too reticent to do anything about it, aside from some side-eyes and passive-aggressive comments. Perhaps there will be some payoff to this down the line?

At this point, let’s talk about Kongou, because both his actions and his role as a sort of parallel to Phos in the narrative are fascinating. I think this is the first time in the story that he’s really done something proactive. I touched on this in a cursory character analysis I did for him, but to reiterate, the impression I got from his at times obtuse and contradictory behavior was that he had completely given up on trying to solve the Lunarian problem long before the series had begun, and that the only thing cutting through his despair and compelling him to get up in the morning and not just “meditate” forever was the prospect of spending a little more time with the people he loves, even knowing that he couldn’t protect them in any way that mattered. But watching Phos’s struggle reignited a tiny bit of hope in him, enough that he wanted them to succeed in their efforts, but not enough for him to believe that he himself could make a difference. To me, that seems like the only explanation that accounts for both his obstinacy when Phos directly confronted him along with his casual acceptance of the path Phos has been walking.

So for him to go behind everyone’s back to fix Phos is quite the departure from his usual passivity, and it tells us that he’d rather subject himself and everyone else to Phos’s brand of chaos than endure stasis that comes with their absence. And it really does seem like the world enters a stasis along with Phos whenever they end up comatose. Nothing moves forward, and the only thing to mark the passage of time are small deteriorations: Morga and Goshe are captured, and Cairn quietly becomes suicidal, and this time around, Yellow gradually loses their mind, the Admirabilis that Phos tried to spare overcrowd the tiny waterways they were released into, and the gems on the moon stop caring about whether they live or die.

For a while now, various characters both gem and Lunarian have called Phos their hope, or their savior, or some variation thereupon, and with each new iteration, the sentiment feels more and more ironic. Time and time again, Phos rises to the occasion only to buckle under pressure, their noble intentions haven’t gotten them good results since, like, chapter 10, and everyone who at one point had faith in them is completely done with them. And at the end of it all, they don’t have it in them to ask Kongou to pray on anyone’s behalf but their own, as if they’ve become so exhausted that they don’t have the energy to be kind anymore. And just to rub salt in the wound, their ambiguous phrasing makes it unclear whether Phos is asking to Kongou get rid of the Lunarians or themselves.

All of this seems to mirror what Kongou is implied to have gone through. He was created to save the souls of humanity, but was ill-equipped for the task, and he’s spent god knows how many millennia dogged by his failure to deliver. Aechmea’s line in chapter 55 about how his human creators didn’t bother to think about what would happen to him after everyone was gone, in my mind, parallels how Phos has been abandoned by the people who once supported them once they became too much of an inconvenience.

So now that these two failed saviors are finally confronting each other with no lies to hide behind, and nothing to get between them, what’s going to happen? I get the feeling that chapter 80 is going to give us some long awaited catharsis, for better or worse. (Please Ichikawa, make things a little better for once.)

On a related note, I’m hoping this possible catharsis might clarify something else for me. For all that the series is steeped in Buddhist symbolism and philosophy, I’ve never been able to tell what Ichikawa actually thinks of Buddhism. On one hand, the assumptions that life boils down to suffering and that the self is ephemeral and illusory are certainly present, but on the other hand, the characters who lean most heavily on the Buddhist aesthetic are villains, the characters most invested in reaching nirvana are portrayed as…let’s say misguided at best, and as I’ve already noted above, our two would-be Buddhas are chronically ineffectual. If I had to take a stab at it, I’d guess that the aspect of the philosophy that she takes issue with is the idea of relying on a savior figure and the idea that there exists a nirvana that could save anyone from samsara. But if the Lunarians’ wish were a complete pipe dream, then Shiro et al wouldn’t have already disappeared? Unless that was a misdirection and their souls were actually reincarnated? Idk, I don’t have enough brain cells to parse The Most Viable Interpretation at this juncture in the story.

Lastly, assuming Phos doesn’t ascend to nirvana via pure rage next chapter, I think their next replacement is going to be imminent. All of Phos’s other changes have been accompanied by death and birth imagery: they lost their legs out at sea, which is where inclusions are said to emerge, they lost their arms and their head at the site of their birth, the time they spent comatose evoked the image of a shrouded corpse in a morgue, their first trip to the moon in which they got their new eye apparently lasted the length of a Buddhist funeral, and now, they’ve literally been buried. (On a side note, it’s interesting that there’s a lot more death imagery for their later transformations, while their earlier changes alluded to birth.) I’m not the first person to point this out, but it seems likely to me that Rutile made good on their threat to throw Phos into the ocean, and discarded whatever pieces they were assigned to bury. And indeed, there seems to be a gaping hole in Phos’s torso. I still think Padparadscha is the most likely candidate for a replacement—the red stone from the lotus sutra has been alternately described as ruby, carnelian, amber, or coral, and Padparadscha is the closest we have to any of those—but who knows. Ichikawa might even decide to stop short of all seven treasures in service of some greater thematic purpose.

And with that, this belated essay is finally done. Except it isn’t. This is a complete tangent, but I recently looked up the one and only region where gem-quality phosphophyllite was briefly mined, a mountain in the Bolivian Andes called Cerro Rico. Hundreds of thousands have died there since the 16th century while mining silver, and that figure may be lowballing it, as some scholars think the death toll is actually in the millions. It is colloquially known as “the Mountain that Eats Men,” and the miners pay tribute to this fellow in hopes of avoiding cave-ins and pockets of toxic gas, but are otherwise doomed to die young from silicosis. According to a forum post I found belonging to a mineral collector, the mineshaft where all the phosphophyllite came from had to be walled off with a concrete bulkhead because the poisonous gases that accumulated in the tunnel had killed a number of miners. The idea of gem mining already conjures up images of exploited workers in abject conditions, but I must say that Maneater Mountain exceeded my expectations.

Okay, now I’m actually done. I’m going to get some sleep on account of the fact that it’s 2 AM, but afterwards I shall read the new chapter and repeat this whole grueling cycle over again, but like, in a timely manner.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #I know I’ve spent the whole essay trashing ¾ of the cast but I really do hope they eventually get over themselves #i've spent hours rereading this but i just KNOW in my heart that there are a billion typos and those typos will haunt my soul #goodnight

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justlightthefirstspark · 4 years

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United vs Chelsea - Conti Cup Semi Final - 29/01/2020

So the line up and bench for this one was interesting. Aimee Palmer was cup tied for this one, having already lined out for Sheffield United earlier in the season, Ella Toone is currently serving a 3 game suspension following a (questionable) red card vs Spurs, and both Kirsty Hanson and Leah Galton are out injured, which led to a very sparse bench, and pretty much the same XI as vs City. Lauren James started in place of Jane Ross, which was very clearly a good idea.

First half:

This game was a little cagey to start with, but ultimately a lot better than Saturday’s showing vs City. LJ had a decent shot around 6 mins, after some great build work from Groenen.

Abbie’s constant back passes to Earps returned, as did my anxiety. To be honest, Earps never looks completely comfortable to be on the receiving end of back passes so I don’t understand why the majority of that back 4 insist on playing that way so often?

Aside from those back passes, I though Abbie had a really good game. At least until she was forced off injured deep into the second half. She played an absolute stormer from the first whistle, and she was literally everywhere. Had a decent chance to get the first goal too around the 25 minute mark, very unfortunate to have that header go straight at Telford. She really, really redeemed herself after that performance vs City at the weekend.

‘27 - some Wales on Wales crime. Sophie Ingle booked for an almighty challenge on Hayley Ladd. Fair enough, the way Hayley fired herself into Ingle may have made it look more than it was. Entertaining tho. I’m also gonna take this opportunity to confess that I may be a little bit (a lot) in love with Hayley Ladd. I gotta be honest, I didn’t really know much about her before she signed in the summer, but she’s really, really great. I feel like she’s kinda underrated a little bit? Anyway, I genuinely don’t think this girl feels any pressure, like at all. A little bit like LJ I guess. She just gets her head down and does her job - calm and cool 100% of the time. I would very much like her to stay forever. I’m definitely gonna have to start watching more of this Wales team aren’t I?

‘34 - Earps with a cracking save. I feel like she’s more of a shot stopper than anything else, her distribution can be a little off sometimes, but she did really well to deny Chelsea there.

I think James and Arnot linked up quite well last night, especially around the 40 minute mark, unfortunately Lizzie was called just offside. She’s really impressed me (whenever she gets a shot) this season tbh, I hope she manages to get herself in the XI more often from now on.

‘42 - Jess Sigsworth pulling double shifts again. She’s constantly down around that back four, helping out and sometimes doing other people’s jobs for them and I’m kinda terrified that she’s gonna run herself into a brick wall at some stage? Like I think it’s fairly clear that we need to reinforce and add depth and quality defensively but I also think it’s pretty clear that Jess isn’t the answer to that particular problem, as impressive as her drive and her work rate is.

‘43 - United should have been clear and away on the counter there. There was an earlier challenge from Ladd (I’m pretty sure) that the ref took an age to make up her mind on, and by the time she decided to call it back, Groenen (again, I’d have to rewatch to be 100% certain) was up and over the halfway line on the break. Annoying af.

Halftime:

Tbh I thought United did really well to not have conceded and to still be in the game at the half. The first half as a whole was pretty decent, Chelsea ultimately had the better chances and were the slightly stronger team. I just wish we could have taken the few chances we had in the first half and made something from them, Telford isn’t the world’s best keeper and I feel like we could have tested her more and I was kinda disappointed we didn’t.

Second half:

‘47 - a fairly decent (surprisingly. It’s no secret we’re pretty piss poor at set pieces) from Zelem resulted in Amy heading just over, which hurt my soul. (I wanted her to score so bad youse have no idea)

‘52 - Arnot had a decent chance, and was 100% in cause Telford came about 82739 miles off her line, but unfortunately it was cleared away. (Sidenote: I HATE when keepers come off their line and out of their box like that, even opposition keepers. It just really shits me out. Anyway)

‘53 - a decent Chelsea opportunity goes wide. I saw somewhere (twitter probably) that it took a deflection, but I’d have to rewatch to be certain. FA Player get your shit together and upload the game so I can double check challenge 🙄

The game really started to come to life around the 50 minute mark. Both teams had decent chances within about a minute of each other, and United’s intensity really stepped up - they came out guns blazing in the second. Both teams pressing and passing really cleaned up around this time too.

‘61 - decent chance for Sigsworth. Angle was just too tight, but I think the build up was massively overworked. She passed it off the Zelem who held it for a little too long imo, before sending it back to Jess who lashed it into the side netting. Think Jess could have made something of it first time but hey, what’s done is done now.

Game started to get a little scrappy heading into the last 20 mins - back to the rushed and mismatched and intercepted passes of the first half.

‘70 - Chelsea free kick saved well by Earps.

‘71 - Goal - Chelsea. Really tight angle, just about squeezed home. Really good work from Mjelde in hindsight but I feel like Earps could have saved that one. I hate to blame her entirely but she really should have done better with closing that one down.

‘72 - almost an instant response from United. LJ had a fantastic chance to equalise but unfortunately scorched it over the bar. I’m not gonna lie, I expected a little better from her there, but I understand the urgency.

‘73 - pretty soft yellow for Sigsworth

‘74 - Ross 🔁 Arnot.

Seemed like all the wind was sucked out of United after that goal, approaching the 80 minute mark. Most of that intensity and urgency was still kinda there and evident in small bursts, but was mostly lacking.

‘80 - United forced into a change. Harris (don’t talk to me) 🔁 McManus. Abbie took a bit of a blow around 20 minutes in, committing a challenge she was ultimately booked for. Fair play to her, she played through it, but she was definitely struggling for a while there. Apparently she was on crutches after the game, so I hope it’s nothing too serious. Also interested to see what Casey does with that back 4 if she’s out for a while. Amy obviously goes back in and CB but it would appear Martha is higher than Ökvist in the pecking order, which is annoying. I get that Casey is more defensive minded and might not want to play two more attacking FB’s at once (Ökvist & Smith) but Martha... 🤐

‘84 - James had a great ball in that forced a corner that - you guessed it - nothing came of

‘85 - Earps had a great block to deny Chelsea a second (and really and truly kill me off)

‘88 - Harris decides to try her luck from a little way out. It was a decent shot to be fair, given the circumstances, just couldn’t get the dip it needed and never really troubled Telford on it’s way over the bar.

4 minutes at the end of the 90 but United couldn’t get anything to stick, which was massively unfortunate.

Two semi final defeats in a row is absolutely gut wrenching, and very hard to take, but last night taught me a lot about this team. I personally thought that this game was miles better and such an improvement on Arsenal away last season. They were much better all round, in every position than last weekend vs City. To come so close against the 3 best teams in the league 5 times now and walk away with nothing is hard, and I feel so bad for those girls. They give their all everytime they step out on that pitch, and they deserved more. This week in particular. Seeing them all in literal bits at the final whistle nearly broke me tbh.

But it’s becoming more glaringly apparent as the season goes on that we are in desperate need of a more clinical, stone blood killer up top. I’d also be open to giving Mikalen a run in goal to prove herself - I think Earps has been a bit off lately.

Galton and Hanson were massively missed last night, and I think we could have done with Toone as well, but oh well.

I had my issues with the ref as well last night, I have to say. I thought she handled the knocks and (most of) the bookings correctly, as well as the penalty shout (which was not a penalty, sorry Jess) but she missed a clear foul on Jackie (59 mins) as well as a clear tug on Arnot (64 mins) in the second half. I also thought LJ was very lucky to get away with just a yellow for her foul on Ingle at the end of the first half, looked a little more like a red to me 😬

Hopefully Galton will be back for Sunday - she absolutely tore Reading to shreds the last time out and I would very much like to see more of that 🔥, but I’m kinda worried about that midfield trio too. The last thing we need is three defeats on the bounce, but they must be dyinggg cause they literally never, ever stop.

I know this one is a little later than usual and the format is slightly different too, but I was watching the men (for some reason) as well, and it was kinda hard to keep track of two games at once lol. Plus I just wasn’t really in the mood to try and to this last night. Also - if anyone has critiques or corrections or questions about my opinions or anything else pls don’t hesitate to drop them in my ask and I’ll edit things and answer whatever as best as I can ✌🏽

#that was... a lot #this annoyed me more than last year’s SF tbh #i also have seem to have a lot of opinions #sorry - i think #muwfc #manchester united women #my writing

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theshinobiway · 5 years

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Cuddling with Members of Team Guy

Might Guy

Ø Cuddlebot Master 2000

Ø Guy’s favorite times to cuddle are often early in the morning before he gets up for training or right after dinner when you all are usually spending quality time together.

Ø The first time you ever cuddled was probably when you fell asleep on him that one time while watching the sunset after a long day. He put an arm around you and was glad to let you stay there until you woke up. Was he sore from staying still for so long? Yes. Worth it.

Ø He’ll keep a firm but gentle grip on you and hold you close, but if you all are chatting and he gets really excited or happy about something he’ll give you the occasional death squeeze.

Ø If you say something really cute or endearing to him he’ll cover your face with kisses and you’ll get another death squeeze.

Ø He puts off a decent amount of body heat and he’s super chill about you putting cold limbs on him (if you do get cold easily) but he’ll playfully yelp if you do to tease you.

Ø Loves saying little things to tease you and will immediately give you long hugs afterwards

Ø Loves extended body contact, will find excuses to hold you whenever you’re around the house or he gets the chance.

Ø Will put his arm around you when he gets the chance, even in public

Ø Falling asleep with Gai usually looks like your head on his chest or in the crook of his shoulder with his arm around you, his other side will be completely splayed out starfish-style.

Ø Gai usually sleeps in the starfish position, but he gladly modifies his position to accommodate you

Ø If you cuddle on the couch you’ll likely be pulled into his lap and both of his arms will be around you at all times. The optimal position for more intimate cuddling, if you catch my drift.

Ø Literally down to cuddle 24/7. Will find a way to cuddle while training with you. May also use cuddling as his personal reward for completing a training exercise.

Rock Lee

Ø This sweet boy loves cuddling as much as he loves breathing, but actually probably loves you more.

Ø Probably has told you this in the past and emphasized his point by telling you he would hold his breath all through a cuddle session just to prove it. He is so extra but tbh you have to love just how open he is about caring for you like omg?? Sweetest boy alive.

Ø First time cuddling with Lee probably happened when you put your head on his shoulder one day after a date, and he just put an arm around you without hesitating. After that, he made sure to give you more hugs, especially from behind, and would hold you longer than normal until you progressed into full-on cuddle sessions.

Ø His favorite times to cuddle are sitting around while taking a break from training or in secluded spaces while on a date. He’ll keep holding your hand throughout most of the day, but he’ll be respectful of PDA. (Loves it when you hug his arm while walking, though.)

Ø He keeps a moderate grip on you or a tight grip, no in-between. Must remind him occasionally that air is a thing, Lee forgets because he “already can’t breathe when he’s with you, (y/n)” like FREAKING DAWW OKAY LEE

Ø Walking furnace. Cold limbs? What?? No, you aren’t cold once you reach in 2 inches of proximity of this boy, he’s like the sun. You warm up before impact.

Ø Once you’re alone and cuddling in an apartment or your place, he can be his extra self but he turns into extremely sweet Lee who will tell you the most honest but sweetest things you’ve ever heard. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for years, he never turns down for romance.

Ø Will have you in an octopus hold if you’re ever sleeping in bed. He loves showing you how much he cares and holding you is the way he does that. Big spoon to little spoon ratio is 80/20

Ø When you do get to be the big spoon, it’ll likely be because he’s feeling down or needing reassurance. But his heart will go through the roof and he’ll love every minute of it.

Ø Cuddling with Lee means tangled limbs, hands through hair, gentle nuzzling, and numerous kisses all the time. You’ll fall asleep like this too. To take it further, just keep kissing him. You’ll rile him up eventually.

Ø If you cuddle on the couch it’ll be with you sitting side by side, but he’ll have both arms around you or vice versa.

Ø Also down to cuddle 24/7, but he’ll get flustered more often in public. Small gestures in public, bigger ones when you’re alone.

Tenten

Ø Tenten, surprisingly enough, is the least big on cuddling out of her entire team (unless we’re talking about early relationship Neji, but we’ll cover him later)

Ø Tenten is really independent and any partner for her would be aware of this well before they start dating, but she still has instances of being downright adorable and clingy, but it’ll be balanced out by her general non-touchy-feely nature.

Ø Still, the first time you cuddle she’ll be in one of her moods and you’ll have been getting closer to each other for a while. She was exhausted and in need of comfort and you offered to let her lay her head on your lap, to which she was bashful about but once you reassured her she went for it. She fell asleep while you gently played with her loose bangs, and you noticed in the days afterwards she was more fidgety around you, until one time when you hugged her while you both were alone she didn’t let go. Like no, more hugs. And you were like ???? but it was ridiculously sweet so you stayed there.

Ø If you ever stroke her back while you’re cuddling she’ll straight up die. In fact, if you ever want to get her in a cuddling mood just massage her or gently rub her back. If you’re at the point where you’re more intimate together, she LOVES it when you gently run your nails along her back, especially where her bra would dig in. It might even get you more than cuddling, wink wink.

Ø When falling asleep she usually prefers to cuddle before and then stay on your respective sides. Just her preference, but she’ll still touch butts or feet or hold hands, keeping some small body contact even if it isn’t full cuddling. She feels comforted knowing you’re there.

Ø She keeps a scroll specifically by her bedside in case you try to put your cold limbs on her. Don’t you freaking dare

Ø The scroll contains a bucket of ice water. Doesn’t matter to her, it’ll be dumped on your side anyway. Gg no re

Ø She’s 50/50 big spoon/little spoon. With a female partner she will likely be more big spoon.

Ø She keeps a loose grip on her partner, preferring to use her hands to caress them rather than hold them. But if you want her to, she’ll gladly hold you tight.

Ø Lots of nuzzling. Tenten, when she is affectionate, doesn’t prefer to just sit still. She’s more of an ‘active cuddler’

Ø Cuddling on the couch is a lot of head-in-lap action or head on shoulder. She loves leaning against you even if she’s working on something.

Ø When she’s working in her workshop (Tenten definitely has a weapons workshop) and you come up to her and hug her, she’ll let you stand there for a while while she’s working. She might complain a little if she’s all sweaty, but if you insist she doesn’t gross you out she’ll find it really endearing. According to her, you’re her good luck charm and you being around makes her work better.

Neji Hyuga

Ø Neji is the most surprising—he’s completely different at the beginning of your relationship versus later on. His levels of affection directly correlate to his levels of trust and comfort.

Ø So Neji keeps a sizable bubble early on, but he’ll warm up to being closer to you if you have events that cement his trust in you. But he won't reach out first because he’s got an internal war waging—Do I touch? Do I not? Do they want it? Please just tell this boy straight out you want a hug. Don’t let the external discomfort fool you. He wants to hug you, but anything with vulnerability makes him retreat. His worst fear is doing something that makes you uncomfortable (and your response), which is why he holds off.

Ø Do not try to initiate physical contact unless you are alone, he cannot stand PDA. His affections are for you and only for you, and he wants no one to see that side of him but you. Plus, it’s completely improper to him. Will pull away rather harshly if you try, will lecture you in private later. “That was not the time, (y/n)”

Ø His gestures of physical affection pre-cuddling are putting a comforting hand on your shoulder or gently brushing something off of you, like a leaf or stray hair. That being said, if you are alone when he does one of those things and you take a step closer, he’ll freeze for a second and make eye contact. Like questioning “do you want something more…?” He’ll tentatively reach for you but stop halfway. Once you see him go for it, go for it. He’ll warm up to a hug really quick and give you a gentle squeeze, making sure you definitely don't see how much he's blushing right now. It won’t last long, but it’ll start the gears to making sure he’ll want to cuddle, because he loved being able to embrace you. It flustered him to no end, though.

Ø If you’re a more assertive s/o and catch the jump on him and go for it, he’ll freeze when you try to hug him and let out a small yelp, but he’ll nervously smile and let you. Any sort of jump in affection will scare him even if he likes it, poor boy. His family was never physically affectionate, so he feels bad for wanting it. He might snap at you early on as a reflex but he will feel so bad about it after because he isn’t angry at you, he’s upset at himself for being unable to communicate what he really wants with you. He needs patience and time.

Ø Your actual first time cuddling was likely during a moment of vulnerability for one of you. If it was him, you wrapped your arms around him from behind and he felt some weight fall off his shoulders the minute he knew you were there. He squeezed your hand to let you know he appreciates it so much, and you both stayed like that for some time. If it was you, he was likely feeling helpless to help you and did the only thing he could: he instinctually embraced you and held you, letting you bury your face in his chest/shoulder. He would have always been nervous about physical contact, but nothing would stop him from making sure the person he loved knew he was there for them.

Ø You progression into cuddling will be very slow, but often times he’ll start to hug you from behind if he’s feeling particularly confident while you’re doing something else, or you’ll realize when he’s in closer proximity of you and stays there that’s his way of asking for a hug. Can’t really vocalize his needs and will keep his normal stoic expression, but you’ll catch on quick.

Ø If you initiate cuddling on a couch with him he’ll be super flustered, but he won’t protest, but he has no idea what to do with his hands. Where is appropriate again?? Guide him please, he cares for you so much and needs to show you but doesn’t know how. If you fall asleep on him he'll internally die of happiness and maybe will take a nap with you

Ø Might be stiff at first but the more your progress in your relationship the more natural contact will become for him.

Ø He gets touch starved after a while, and especially if he’s been gone on a mission for a long time he’ll come back and embrace you and you can tell he doesn't want to let go. He missed you so much he was aching for your touch. Please don’t leave again? Okay I know we both will have to leave again, but don’t leave, please.

Ø Doesn’t mind if he’s reading or relaxing and you curl up next to him. Might even pull you closer and read around you. He enjoys having you near him even just in proximity. He might prefer some space if he’s meditating, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t mind you occasionally putting your head in his lap while he is. He learns to meditate even in your presence.

Ø In bed he’ll pull you into a tight embrace, your head likely on his shoulder and both arms around you. He’ll press a gentle kiss to you as you’re both falling asleep and you’ll hear him sigh in contentment. Around this time is when you’ll hear him whisper how much he cares about you.

Ø Neji is will be big spoon a majority of the time but he will never in a million years admit he actually likes being little spoon just as much. You might put two and two together eventually when you realize how often he loves settling between your legs, leaning/laying on you with his arms around you, laying his head on the crook on your neck. Caress his hair while he does this and he'll be out like a light

Ø Neji has the capacity to be extremely affectionate but it has to be done at his pace and he needs positive encouragement and time to get there. Cuddling is one of the ways he can quietly affirm his love for you when he has a hard time voicing his feelings.

Ø Neji's body heat is fairly even, not too hot or cold. If you try to warm up on him he'll throw a blanket around you and call it a day because no thanks, no cold limbs on me, nope. If you pout he might give you a hug while you're all bundled up in a blanket. Now if you're the kind of person who's always super warm the tables are turned: he'll find any excuse to snuggle up to you because he loves it just so gosh darn much.

Ø Bonus: if you attempt to put your cold limbs on him without warning Neji will yelp and leap out of bed, likely tumbling over in the process. You'll have to decide if the laughter you'll have at the ridiculous display is worth the stern silent treatment you'll get over the next few days

#naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto hc #might guy #might gai #neji #neji hyuga #tenten #naruto imagines #cuddling #team 3 #team guy #team gai #the shinobi way #sorry for the edit it didnt save last night when i posted #okay maybe I went a little overboard on Neji but hey some personal bias here #plus I needed a bullet point or two to explain how to even get to thr point of cuddling #because unlike the other three he requires a lot more to get there

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fulltimereviewer · 4 years

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Top 50 Best Transformers Fanfiction Stories 2020

Best Transformers Fanfiction Updates That You Must Read

Since Childhood, I am watching transformers and looking forward to becoming a transformer one day, Grew up by Reading Transformers Fanfiction Stories and was always amazed by the fictions that used to pop out from such inspiring Fanfiction Lovers. Also liking the Transformer Fanfiction Crossover a lot.

If I Start Giving my Opinions about Transformers Fanfiction Lemon and Transformers Crossover fanfiction, I don't think so that I won't end the topic of Transformers Fanfiction Stories even in 24 hours. Lukas Schimik Agreed ! Don't know why everybody hates it, I think it's still my number 1 TF movie! Optimus new look, Lockdown & Galvatron, KsI (bots), Dinobots, cast ( HATED this Sam & Mikeala ) and the TF/human conflict. Still love it. Miguel GC Gamer Age of Extinction is the only film that entertains that I don't skip any parts of the movie and I like all the characters in this film and the transformers designs are great, dino bots are Awsome. Vincent H well....bad taste is also bad taste at the end of the day. I know you younger kids think that everyone is supposed to have an opinion and everything is subjective blah blah blah but if you're a cinephile than the Transformers are objectively bad films. They are cynical cash grabs made to make money in China. Bay and the producers have said as much. I mean you can like whatever you want. If you wanna listen to Teletubbies soundtrack all day that's your right....but that does mean you have shitty taste. It's okay. Not everyone has good taste. urtpro 2 I'm not hating I'm genuinely curious. I certainly like it more than Last Knight but barely lol. I'm curious the reasons why AOE fans consider it one of the better Transformers movies. I will say it was nice to switch up the protagonist and all that since Sam Witwicky had worn out his welcome by the third film. And the actress who played Wahlberg's daughter was smoking hot, so that was a plus too. Oliver Parker I thought the premise of the world hating and hunting the Transformers(regardless of Faction), cuz of what happened in Chicago(in DOTM), was kool, MW was a refreshing Main Hero over Shia tbh, and Lockdown was Badass! Honestly kinda just laughed off the whole Romeo and Juliette law thing as being just a bad movie joke! I’m mean honestly I know there’s no such law, and as such it didn’t really bother me! Just rather thought it was somewhat silly! Yann Labeille Well Lockdown was a pretty good villain for once in the movies. However Galvatron went nowhere after this. Anthony That isn't true. I saw Bumblebee yesterday and I find it Like watching E.T., the movie is just on Charlie, not really much on Bee. The only g1 part is the first 5 minutes of the movie. Too much 80s references. Sometimes is even boring for me. It Was a cute movie but absolutely not my favourite. I still prefere the first one. Aron T-900 I'd rather get vibes from ET and Iron Giant instead of witnessing stupid humor, unnecessary hot shots, dogs humping each other, unrealistic explosions, parents acting like they belong in a cartoon, patriotism and confusing slo-mo action sequences. Cam Rich I preferred the first and third ones as they have so much more action in them making the films actually entertaining, when most of bumblebee is almost like a compilation of ‘cute’ little clips of bumblebee and that annoying girl taking up almost the entirety of the movie. Max Ramirez Personally prefer the 2007 movie because it's just overall more entertaining to me. Also, you can pretty much tell Bumblebee was a movie that was directed towards kids so 2007 wins for me So Sit back and enjoy reading my favorite transformers fanfiction lemon and Transformers fanfiction Crossovers Collection. That I have collected for you guys. I Hope You Guys liked our collection of the best transformers fanfiction stories and updates that we have presented above for all fanfiction lovers out here. Transformers Fanfiction Crossover Stories 2020(Updated) Transformers is America based Franchise that was first seen in the 1980s globally. So the first five transformers Films was directed by Michael Bay. I really believe that this was the boost up for the Transformers Fanfiction Crossover stories that I really liked about among the whole and sole of the transformers fanfiction stories including the lemon version of the franchise. Minaya Rojas Tony: We have a Hulk! Optimus: We have a Grimlock! Porg King VII Bee is here what would Optimus want with that what would he take her hostage IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS BEEN BRAIN WASHED BY DESEPTAGONS Siidimus Prime! Except they transform their aliens they have Real blasters Different Voices blood Etc. arfhanisbest The interesting thing is that transformers would actually make for good marvel villains. dave tasca The original transformers comics were made by marvel and marvel had to do with the original transformers tv show so they really should try to get the rights back jovinprime Poop soc This would've been more awesome if gi joe, rom the spaceknight, M.A.S.K., micronauts and the other properties interfere with the whole marvel universe and the transformers both. That would be, not only a big, giant, massive crossover event, but a... gigantic, space-involving, multiversal collusion as well Darkknight329 yes megatron hack the armor with Soundwave and turn it off then they all just step on them but they will throw hulk to cybertron and leave him to the toxic oxygen Dr. Nobody Celz On they are robots what is a snap gonna do I know buckys arm was turned to dust but still they have weapons that can make thanos cheese agnas yes because they’re alive. They go to the allspark when they die, they are alive just like us, just made of metal. Bee is here Tony: We have thanos Optimus: We have your mom Tony:0_0 ok you win now give me my mom Hoping that you guys liked our collection of the topmost fanfics about the transformers fanfiction crossover flavors that we have published above this.

Transformers Fanfiction Lemon Version 2020 Funny Part of the Franchise is that the transformer's movies, on one hand, was loved by the fans and on the other hand there were critics about the direction "Worst Director of all Time". Still, there are some dirty minded people who are always in search of the Transformers Fanfiction Lemon and some people also call it Transformers lemon Fanfiction. Night light I really want to be apart of one of micheal bays movie of transformers Flo Parsons see this is why I love transformers, because the actors ACTUALLY seem like they are having fun, and they are such fun films to watch obert Delgad Even though the movie sequels are not that great, but you have to give Michael Bay a lot of Credit for what he does. fake lol Bay is a genius I mean, I wouldn't be able to figure out the scale of you know the explosions Like the layout nig*a LOL, lol or as you typed if, Lol: an acronym for laugh(ing) out loud or lots of laughs, some say it is Lots of love, is a popular element of Internet slang. It was first used almost exclusively on Usenet, but has since become widespread in other forms of computer-mediated communication and even face-to-face communication. Alex Bruh Bumblebee knows how to pick up ladies more than Sam 😂 lala I remember being a kid and having the biggest crush for Megan. Good lord she was so hot Michael ceasar Back than I thought Sam was looking at her belly and so was I saying "Hot belly I guess." hotman 280 Michael Bay while directing: Yeah Megan arch your back, perfect perfect. Get a good shot of her sweat glistening tanned bronze body. Yeah just like that. chief ada Yeah right. That engine is a big block. Fuel injected side draft 8 barrel carburetors. Hell even the headers are up and over side mount. And the damn engine is worth more then the car. As he only paid $4500.00 That damn engine alone cost $20,000.00! Leave the critics aside all I want to know is: How did you people find our transformers fanfiction lemon version? comment down below if you guys liked this collection on some of the best lemon flavors of transformers fanfiction stories. Transformers fanfiction Bumblebee Stories Updated The best part of the Transformers franchise is that bumblebee is the only character that got most of the positive reviews. This can be a reason that people Love Transformers Fanfiction Bumblebee Version a lot. No worries because we have provided some of the best Bumblebee fanfiction stories that you will enjoy reading. Master Yoda "Wasp", "Stinger" or "Hornet" would be appropriate Decepticon sounding names as "Bumble Bee" sounds too friendly. ron 1j2j barricade is a ford mustang and bee is a Chevrolet camero trust me they will not be friends pro gmer yes i do lol they killed ironhide and ratchet and jazz and sideswipe is already missing dnt know if hes alive but hes my favorite hari bhaskar I'm Bumblebee was a Decepticon he'd be dead like the other Decepticons, because boi they sure kill Decepticons like it's nothing. mighty raju Blackout had skills. Shockwave had skills. The Fallen had skills. Yet they all died like they're nothing. Why? Cause they're Decepticons lol. It's simple rlly, they kill off Decepticons like they're nothing that's just how it is lol. habob What about “what if sentinel prime didn’t betray the autobots” I think age of extinction and beyond wouldn’t have happened since sentinel basically destroyed N.E.S.T. And also Rachet and Ironhide wouldn’t have died so the Autobots would have had a great advantage, and then Sam would still be with the autobots since he disappears after DOTMBasically, I’m saying that the Transformers franchise would have dramatically changed if Sentinel didn’t betray the Autobots. ShyGuy 15 In the movies, technically Megatron is an anti-hero. The first movie makes an acception bc he was using the allspark for pure evil, also in Aoe no reason told us what he was trying to accomplish other than detonating the seed. So 2, 3, and 5, he has reasons to his doing Rotf: using the pyramid to kill the sun and repopulate cybertron. Dotm: rebuild cybertron. TLK: kill unicron using cybertron. This is all in my own mind, not sure if anyone else agrees with me Simon Tyson I forget what it was called, but there was a comic book series where Megatron was an Autobot. It basically swapped all the characters so that Optimus, Bumblebee, Iron Hide, etc. were bad guys. Megatron, Starscream, etc. were good guys Dank Starscream If Bayformer Megatron's history is similar to the IDW comics Megatron's history...then that would mean the Autobot government was not all that good, and would be directly responsible for why Megatron turned out the way he did. Because he was a slave to their functionalist system of control, and he would have remained a slave worker miner if he didn't rise up from the lifestyle forced on him and formed the Decepticon faction... Though it seems to me that if this were the case, Bayformers Megatron would still have become a gladiator before forming the Decepticons...and then eventually he found his way into more of the politics of Cybertron after one day meeting with Optimus Prime (Orion Pax at the time) and then they became brothers/friends. In that sense...it would be similar to how the history of the two were from the show TF Prime. They could still keep the part with the whole Optimus being a knight too, somehow... So in short...Megatron really did not start out as a bad guy at all, it was the way in which he reacted to everything that made him turn out a 'bad guy'. She-Venom What if Megatron is a good guy in the movies? Simple answer is right here becuse Optimus accepted become a Prime if he didnt accept Optimus and Megatron wouldnt fight each other and best brothers it was Optimus fault he started the war i think Megatron is a good guy Hoping that you guys liked our collection of the topmost fanfics about the transformers fanfiction crossover flavors that we have published above this. People Love Bumblebee! i love him/her because bumblebee is cool, let me know why do you love Bumblebee and more importantly why do you guys love Transformers fanfiction on Bumblebee. Transformers Fanfiction OC Version Earning a total amount of $4.3 Billion, transformers became the 13th highest-grossing film series in the world. The Transformers Fanfiction Fans Should be happy to know that the Transformers franchise grossed a total of $1 Billion each from two superhit blockbuster movies. Comment Down the names of those movies if you know them. Jack R I think the first one was more epic just cause the fight scenes were cool and it was the first time we saw something like that. But the writing and characters were absolutely horrific. Bumblebee had much better writing and characters especially the character relationship between Bumblebee and the girl which is much better than the relationship between Sam and bumblebee. Dotm Shockwave Yeah I dont know how he put tlk over revenge and extinction. The last knight is incredibly boring and the only remaining aspect left to enjoy (the action) is incredibly dull in it compared to all the other films. There are no good fight scenes. Which is likely why it bombed so hard Ur mom Gai Ok imo the last knight is my fave AND I ONLY like TF5 is cuz bumblebee new form looks good as hell and Optimus prime vs bumblebee AND there is explosions. EVERYWHERE Boss I definitely didn't think it was my favorite. It depends on what you are looking for in a movie. If you like character relationships and a girl and her problems trying to find her way, then you'll like it. If you like transformers actions and interactions, you may not like it as much. Even though the Bay movie didn't focus enough on the transformers, this one did even less The Burden of Bordem I'm a decepticon fan and none of the main decepticons were even given a name in the movie. They were just there to be bad. The Burden of Bordem For me I think this film would have worked much better if they just had Starscream as the main villain, and maybe Barricade hunting bumblebee and give them a more personal relation ship as enemies. But like I said, it end up being a movie about a girl and her relation ship with Bumblebee and enemies getting in their way. bandwon he main character is more fleshed out than the others, Bumblebee I guess is as well, but he can't talk so it isn't by much, the story is standard E.T./Iron Giant, the acting is fine, the directing is probably better than the others, the action is good when it happens, but there is far less than the others, and non of the action reached the peak of the Bay movies. and if it wasn't for the fact there were transformers in it I probably wouldn't have really liked it, but it's enough to get you invested and entertained imo. luke jack You really think anyone's gonna take you serious after you typed "Bumble" Haha the 2007 film and DotM were pretty decent films and satisfying in the end. lisa Speaking as a male, it always annoys me, as a child, that certain plot-line of every terribly written sci-fi (mainly Transformers): "main character is a dick=likable guy" "he has 'relatable' problems, that are only explored in the first 15 minutes of the film" "He start having an abusive/creepy relationship (because that's how well written romance works, right...), with the love interest (they barely explore her name)." "1+ hour action scenes" "world is gonna explode (not really)" "Main Character and Love Interest hook up". People always call me "a pussy", because i want equal rights, and then they go make a video about "how everything is now pandering to women, and everything is Woke"... By your perfect logic... most movies are "pandering to males, and straight people only" imo not like super duper mad, but kinda upset. It was actually kinda funny. But dude, I love what you said about Man of Steel in your DC ranking video. I love that you love Man of Steel. Not many do, and it's seriously awesome! IMO I hope You Guys Like our Collection of the best Transformers fanfiction stories along with transformers fanfiction lemon and transformers fanfiction crossover collection. We know that people will like the Transformers Crossover fanfiction and transformers fanfiction bumblebee version stories. If you like These Transformers Fanfiction Stories make sure you share this on various social media, and you can also give credits to our website. Thank You Also, read Star Wars fanfiction Updates 2020 Read the full article

#transformerscrossoverfanfiction #transformersfanfic #transformersfanfiction #transformersfanfictionbumblebee #transformersfanfictioncrossobver #transformersfanfictionlemon #transformersfanfictionnightmare #transformersfanfictionoc

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verytamenow · 5 years

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Any or all of them, huh? All of them

That wasn’t a this or that thing but I’m bored and technically did ask for it so fine...smartass...

1. What is you middle name? Eric Lynn

2. How old are you? 27

3. When is your birthday? June 8

4. What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

5. What is your favorite color? It depends. To wear? For walls? For a car? In general, steel blue.

6. What’s your lucky number? I don’t really have one, but I’ll choose 7 or 13 if I have to pick one.

7. Do you have any pets? I’m not a pet person

8. Where are you from? Socal

9. How tall are you? 5′5.5″

10. What shoe size are you? US Mens 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Umm...shit...like....6?

12. What was your last dream about? I honestly don’t even remember.

13. What talents do you have? Bold of you to assume I could have talents

14. Are you psychic in any way? I’ve had a couple premonition like dreams, but they clue me in to anything important and I don’t wake up remembering much of them.

15. Favorite song? Losing My Religion by REM

16. Favorite movie? Alien, maybe? Or Iron Man.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? I don’t have a specific person in mind. Definitely someone patient but unwilling to tolerate any bullshit. Must understand sarcasm.

18. Do you want children? Dear gods NO!

19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’t particularly care. I don’t really want one but I’d do it if my partner wanted one. No guarantee I’d not get struck down entering the church.

20. Are you religious? Not really. I struggle with the concept of organized religion. But I do respect spirituality so long as it’s not being used to justify bigotry and have some sort of vague belief in it.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Both for my own care and to visit family, none of which are fond memories.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I haven’t.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? No, not yet. But hopefully one day Taylor will run out of other people to meet and finally take pity on me.

24. Baths or showers? Showers! I can’t stand baths for more than 10-15 minutes but can take an hour long shower.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Light and dark blue striped socks.

26. Have you ever been famous? No.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yes and no. I’d not say no to the potential money involved. But I’m a quiet guy and if I couldn’t find a way to protect my privacy like Taylor’s managed, I’d be done with it pretty quickly.

28. What type of music do you like? A bit of everything, but I’ve been on a pop kick recently.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, but I’d give it a go in the right setting.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One, unless they’re not firm enough.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side.

32. How big is your house? Few bedrooms and a couple bathrooms, 2 stories. Decent sized.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I usually don’t. But if I wake up starving, I’ll try to find some leftover chicken or something to munch on, usually cold.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah, fired a few different types. I’m not a great shot and I don’t handle the noise well. I struggle pulling the trigger for whatever reason.

35. Have you ever tried archery? I haven’t but I really want to!

36. Favorite clean word? Strobocopic is the first word that comes to mind and that’s 100% my dad’s fault, damn him.

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? About 48 hours? I’ll usually take a sleeping pill or pass out on my own by then.

39. Do you have any scars? Ignoring the obvious quip about mental ones, I’ve got a couple physical. Got a faint one on my knee from busting it open as a kid that you can’t really see now. Got a fair few stretch marks and some acne scars as well.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I did, they were so secret I didn’t know about them.

41. Are you a good liar? Depends on what it is and how close I am to them. I can lie alright on phone or text unless you know me well or tell a stranger a white lie. But I’ve got no poker face whatsoever so I suck at the big ones, and the closer I am to someone the worse I get at lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character? Kinda? I haven’t trusted too many assholes but like anyone I can overlook the bad in someone I care about.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Nope.

44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so.

45. What is your favorite accent? British or Australian.

46. What is your personality type? Impatient but laid back smartass with a mixed sense of self preservation. I’m a pretty go with the flow guy, but yeah patience isn’t my strong suit.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My redwing boots.

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie.

50. Left or right handed? Strongly right-handed.

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m fucking terrified of them. It’s sad, really. Even the small ones.

52. Favorite food? Seafood in general or a good rare steak.

53. Favorite foreign food? Sushi!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m a mess tbh. I try but I can’t quite seem to keep things up.

55. Most used phrased? “Fuck” probably.

56. Most used word? See above.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? About 30 with a shower.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I’d like to say no, but I know I’ve got a bit of pride about some things.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck until they’re almost gone and then bite.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Not so much now. If I’m alone in the house for an extended period, or I’m trying to work something out or stay focused, then yeah.

61. Do you sing to yourself? I rarely sing along to music in the car, let alone casually to myself.

62. Are you a good singer? Gods no.

63. Biggest Fear? The glib answer is spiders. But in the spirit of the question lise: the actual answer is the inevitable fuck up that is the last straw that leds to people leaving.

64. Are you a gossip? Yes and no? I don’t spread serious rumours, but I’ll absolutely talk shit with those I’m closest with. Kinda a nosey little prick too, I like knowing things.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? My mind kinda went straight to titanic. The 90s jumped out.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I wear my hair short (because getting misgendered makes me want to fling myself off the nearest cliff), but would theoretically consider wearing it longer if/when my facial hair comes in. On a partner, I like either.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I wouldn’t put money on it, but if I could see a list as I named them, I’d probably manage okay.

68. Favorite school subject? History. Or mythology, though that wasn’t a dedicated subject.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert AF.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and I don’t think I ever would.

71. What makes you nervous? It’s the anxiety, bro.

72. Are you scared of the dark? More scared of the tricks my mind can play on me in it, especially if I’m trying to sleep.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends on how close I am and what the mistake is.

74. Are you ticklish? Very and I don’t find being tickled funny or enjoyable. I’m likely to get pretty pissed off if someone tickles me intentionally.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Never intentionally.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Not really? Not with any real power.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Tried a few things, didn’t care for the taste.78. Have you ever done drugs? I tried pot but I can’t inhale for shit so it didn’t do anything for me.

79. Who was your first real crush? The first I can recall was a boy named Corbin in the first grade. He had dark hair and eyes and was nice and I thought he was cute and fun to play with. Then there was a girl named Emily who was tall and blonde. I don’t think I really knew they were crushes though. The first time I had a crush and KNEW it was a crush was high school, on a girl in my chem class and then on my physics teacher in my junior year.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your Rs? Not anymore.

82. How fast can you type? 45-ish WPM?

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast.

84. What color is your hair? Dark blonde.

85. What color is your eyes? Blue.

86. What are you allergic to? Some laundry detergent. If it’s heavily scented I will break out in hives.

87. Do you keep a journal? No, but I’ve been told I should.

88. What do your parents do? My dad works in IT.

89. Do you like your age? Yes and no. I don’t have a problem with my age or nearing 30, but I could also fuck up my life in new and interesting ways if I could be younger knowing what I know now.

90. What makes you angry? Bigotry. Willful ignorance and unwillingness to listen. Hypocrisy.

91. Do you like your own name? Yes, which is why I picked it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I have zero, if not negative, desire to reproduce. But I like gender neutral names for girls - Parker, Peyton, Reagan, etc.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I don’t want either but I REALLY would not know what to do with a child who liked traditionally feminine things.

94. What are you strengths? Sheer stubbornness.

95. What are your weaknesses? Impatience.

96. How did you get your name? I wanted to keep my initials and Zach was the name that came to mind and felt right.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? If you go back far enough, you’ll usually stumble across it.

98. Do you have any scars? Wasn’t this a previous question???

99. Color of your bedspread? Blue, not that I use it.

100. Color of your room? White. Never did get around to painting it.

#ask game #Anonymous

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beautifulterriblequeen · 5 years

Text

Autistic Sherlock - The Sign of Three

See, this episode always bugged the hell out of me. The whole wedding participation thing did, tbh. No sociopath would be okay with a third party horning in on their groomed pet like Mary does, no matter how much time Sherlock was out of the country.

But Sherlock sees who Mary is, to some degree at first, enough to know that she’s good for him. And, bonus, she approves of Sherlock, too! How rare and delightful for him! Sherlock’s been away for a really long time, and part of his adjustment to Baker Street, and to John, just naturally includes Mary. He didn’t plan it that way. But he’s doing a shit ton of adjustments anyway, and Mary is a nice adjustment to add in. She’s like John mixed with Molly, and Sherlock likes both of those people.

But then Sherlock throws himself into the wedding planning. Again, not a sociopath’s thing. They might pretend for a while, but they’d devolve into finger pointing and delegating and general slacking off while claiming to be doing the most work. Sherlock actually is doing the most work. As an autistic person, he’s aware that weddings are important to people in general, and he would like his best friend to have the best wedding possible. After all, he’s been tasked with being the best man--an honor he never conceived of. He knows he’s not solid best man material. His speech at the wedding straight out admits it. So he feels he must do all he can to contribute to a good wedding day in every other way possible.

That’s why he’s so protective of Mary. Because John loves her. Sherlock scares away her stalkery ex to smooth the day. He shows the creepy ring bearer boy corpsy pictures to get him to agree to wear fancy dress--the easiest of tasks, really--to smooth the day. He YouTubes serviette folding to smooth the day. Sherlock’s all at sea with caring for loved ones, but he does everything he can think of to give John and Mary a lovely memory.

His wedding speech is all over the map--he’s uncomfortable in the limelight for press articles, but giving a live speech is new territory, and he has to feel his way through, and gets a lot of it wrong, keeps pausing, freaking out, trying to cover for himself. He skips 80% of the telegrams. He pisses all over weddings in general, then pivots it into an admission that he’s not a good kind of person, in contrast to John, who is the wisest and kindest and bravest person he knows. Sherlock knows who he is. And that’s a sea change from Season 2. He knows the kinds of things he should be saying. He just has trouble remembering it all when he’s under the stress of the limelight.

I feel like, in the two years Sherlock was destroying Moriarty’s network around the world, he was exposed to a huge variety of human behaviors, much of it selfish and violent. Sherlock had to do a constant, convincing job of role play, which meant he had to be paying attention to human nature as if he were streaming it on Netflix in a constant bingewatch of emotions and behaviors. And, in his down time, during the few hours of sleep he caught here or there, he processed the contrasts he encountered.

John Watson: brave, selfless, dedicated, generous, empathetic, moral compass, steady nerves, solid human being.

Everyone else: missing at least one good trait. Sometimes, missing all of them.

Sherlock had to encounter plenty of people who consciously acted in ways that he himself had unthinkingly acted toward John. He was on the receiving end of their casual cruelty, their unthinking dismissal, their selfish choices. He did what he had to do to survive. But it was never fun. He didn’t like it. He knew John wouldn’t have liked it. In fact, he knew John hadn’t liked it.

Two years living among the worst criminals on the planet, and Sherlock Holmes ends up soul-searching in the dark. He clings to John’s example in the wee hours and the pissy alleys and the glass-enclosed boardrooms on the 38th floor. He marks John’s character in indelible ink, in steel and stone, in his own blood. In order to do what he must, and to come back intact, Sherlock must envision John’s character, John’s values, every minute of every day.

Autistic people mirror those around them. It’s how we communicate. We learn the allistic world by imitating it. Even a few hours with a new crowd, where emotions are high and physical action is involved, is enough to flick an autistic’s mimic switch into the Record position. We become a different person, and it lingers. We’re constantly code switching to get by. Who do you need me to be? How do I get through this? How do I ask for what I want from you versus them? How do I avoid embarrassment, danger, death? Who do I need to be today? Some days, we don’t remember, and we’re the wrong person. Some days, we need a John Watson to remind us who to be.

Two years of criminal companions would have corrupted Sherlock’s morals to a dangerous degree if he had not taken precautions ahead of time. But he always intended to return to London and to Baker Street and to John Watson. He intended to return as he left, as Sherlock Holmes.

He didn’t return the same, though. He returned a better man. Because of John.

He’s more self-aware in his conversation, even initiating some humor that doesn’t fall flat. He’s been practicing, thinking it through. He’s been working very hard on being Good Sherlock, for John’s sake. He wants his Byronian-curls haircut, his coat, his crime solving, his landlady, and his flatmate, all as it was, exactly the same. He won’t risk becoming a lesser person that John wouldn’t approve of in his two years away. John has made his life rewarding in ways he couldn’t have predicted. He’d never give it up willingly. Only for John’s sake would he consider changing anything. But it’s clear it disconcerts him to think of John not living with him anymore at Baker Street.

His vow--no sociopath would vow anything like that. Not to mean it. But Sherlock does mean it. John has been his moral center. He’s spent two years holding to John’s memory. There’s no way he’s giving it up, so his only option is to embrace Mary as well. Conveniently, he likes her, and she likes him, so it’s easy. I think Sherlock would protect anyone that John loved. But Mary is interesting in her own right, and Sherlock only makes a vow to protect her because he genuinely wants her in his life.

He’s out of his depth with marriage and relationships. All he knows is that he wants to stay close to John, his allistic friend, who helps him be a more rounded person. Because he likes who he is, how he lives, more when he’s with John than when he’s without him.

“I’d be lost without my blogger.”

#sherlock theory #sherlock #autistic!sherlock

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steve0discusses · 6 years

Text

Yugioh S2 Ep2: Fire, Screaming, More Fire

Last we left Yugi, he’s yet again endangered his life by ditching school in order to duel some magic weirdo in an abandoned warehouse instead of just calling the police. Bakura’s been staring at the outside of this warehouse for at least a few minutes, probably deciding if it’s worth the effort. A rough decision.

Also, I mentioned this last episode, but it became super apparent in this episode with all these slow pans on this kid, but he used to actually look like a child last season but now looks...different? This awkward teen had a real big growth spurt over the past few arcs he was away. Apparently Bakura joined the local barre class or did Keto or maybe just used dark magic? I dunno.

They very clearly were like “we gotta sex up Bakura, he’s just so hard to look at” but then they changed nearly everything BUT the hair? The one irredeemable thing? The most cringey thing to look at on Bakura? they left it? They made him tall and fit but then left this weird mass of shapes on his head?

Anyways, he came out here just to track the puzzle but realized instead, he got a 2 for 1 package deal today.

(read more under the cut)

...he can just un-possess people? Ring beats wizard staff? (or rod, or whatever it is that this guy is holding off camera in the shot below. I think it was called a Millennium rod or something. Makes sense. It’s gold and has an eye on it.)

Keith has been possessed for...who knows how long, and he has a lot to take in. First off, he’s in a different country when last he remembers he was stranded in the ocean. Secondly, he’s in an abandoned warehouse with a minor which is all sorts of awkward to explain to the police. Third off, he’s playing cards? And then fourth off:

So glad I got to post this Bandit Keith meltdown in July. Even when he’s dumped in the ocean, possessed, trapped in a cult, shipped to Japan, and forced to dress like a knock-off heartless, despite alll of that, the flag bandana remained? You can remove all of Bandit Keith from Bandit Keith, but he will always wear his USA pride like someone who’s originally secretly born in Ontario and is desperately trying to hide it from their Texan Mother in Law.

That or he’s totally bald under that bandanna. Like one of those gas station redneck hats.

Here’s a redneck hat for the people in the room that aren’t from the States:

Like I’m 80% certain that Keith’s hair is not his real hair.

Also, damn, this brand is called “Mullet On the Go” and that is the best business name I’ve ever heard.

Yugi just assumes that Bandit Keith is mad about losing...and it says a lot about how much people freak out in this universe in how Yugi can’t tell the difference between when someone loses a game and when someone is possessed and trying to regain control of their mind. The two type of meltdowns really do look strikingly similar.

Even the bird looks like he’s just embarrassed to be here. Especially when this happens.

OH.

This is possible!?

I just assumed all those pieces welded together magically or something. But apparently this is hella possible!

So, possessed Bandit Keith decides to pull “A Mokuba” Which is what I call it, when someone peaces out halfway through the game and just steals stuff so the other person can’t play anymore. Still the ultimate move. Unrivaled in how effective it is. So far one of the only risk-free sure fire ways to beat Yugi Muto (other than threatening to kill yourself, which is option #2)

Does it count as a death if Pharaoh is already dead? Probably not, huh? Anyway, Ryou Bakura snaps out of it, goes back to Ryou, buttons up every single button on his shirt and jacket all the way up to his neck because he’s like way too much of a prude when he’s nice to show off that he’s been running that 5K, and then...decides to do this????

Is this how he’s been working out this whole time??? Has he just been Footloosing it through warehouses in his off hours, how is he so good at this???

Bakura kinda switches back and forth from being nice and being...Bakura. It’s not clear if Ryou is a face Bakura’s wearing just to deceive Yugi, or if Ryou is doing his best to interfere but just can’t interfere with the important stuff like this:

Yugi, reunited with the many pieces of his puzzle, looks at them with this big dumb smile while, at the same time, Bakura hashes out for us, the viewers, a reminder/recap about everything we learned about the history of this puzzle thing from last season.

TBH it’s a fair way to do recap for an entire season. Instead of having it slapped together at the beginning like some boring book report, instead just have it naturally slip in when you actually need to remember all this content. Although, TBH, if you just started watching Season 2 without Season 1, I doubt any of this recap would have helped make any of this make sense. Especially the part where a Pharaoh had Yugi’s hair. That’s just...that’s sort of a stretch, ya?

And Bakura does all of this within 2 feet of Yugi.

I guess we get to go back to Brain Fortress at some point. Have fun with the floor traps, Bakura. Have fun dealing with every corner of Yugi’s mind including the room that is just that really weird huge bowling pin and 50,000 oversized legos.

And then, Bakura just falls off this platform and flat on his ass, which kind of summarizes this guy altogether. Lots of trying so hard to look cool that it ends up going full circle and making him more awkward than just being...chill.

But, once the dust has settled, and the Bakura ancient curse has left the field, Bandit Keith decides he’s not dead and fully wakes up because the jetlag is apparently very real when you’re possessed.

WHAT!?

WHO!?

Just two rando cans of leaky ass gasoline???

Ah, now we’re watching Yugioh.

Yugi, the genius he is, decides he must save the puzzle. But like...why? Pharaoh’s already dead. He’s not going anywhere. But maybe Yugi never attended enough class to learn that most metals don’t melt in a house fire.

I mean this is magic metal so like...probably needs way more than fire to get rid of it. Probably have to toss it straight into space.

Oh man, the big new chain came back to bite him in the ass yet again--and not just this time, but multiple times this episode it keeps coming back to “why the hell did you get such a strong ass chain!?”

This chain is Yugi’s hubris. His Icarus wings.

Busting through the door with their feet, Joey and Tristan come across a whole lot of random things that happen all at the same time and it’s just them saying WTF WTF WTF over and over again until the episode ends.

They assume that Keith was the only one in this building quickly entering the first stage of Hell, but they had a feeling they should just double check, just in case, and their reaction to seeing their best friend here amongst the fire was “ah damn it, not again.”

Very surprised that Yugi’s hair has held up and has not gone up like a match. Maybe it was hair washing day and so it wasn’t full of grease yet?

Also, it’s nice to think that somewhere, just a few blocks away, Kaiba and Ryou are just having a wonderful day on the soccer field, birds singing, sun shining. A soft breeze in the air.

Meanwhile:

That’s not a joke I made--Yugi really did pass out like this. Which is how this bizarre scene happened:

This show has MOMENTS.

When they realize they should maybe pull the ring out instead of in, they finally got it out.

How did Bandit Keith get it in there in the first place!?

I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen someone in an anime carry someone from the front.

Yugi wakes up in a hospital, everyone is covered in anime battle damage (you know how when you get 3rd degree burns they just toss a couple bandaids on your face?), and he has some pretty choice jammies.

The episode ends on a weird note of Tea just getting real dark out of nowhere. OK

Bakura didn’t feel like coming to the hospital? Man. I can never tell with that kid.

Well that was a lot of...fire...right out of the gate, next week, on Yugioh:

Will Pharaoh and Bakura have a wacky Odd Couple situation in the puzzle chamber? Does Yugi change in the tow chain for a series of combination locks? Does Bandit Keith get stranded in Japan without any money, and have to race ducks like he’s in Shenmue?

#yugioh #yugioh recap #photo recap #s2 ep2 #fire #bandit keith #yugi muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #bakura #like that was a lot of fire for a 2nd episode

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thegreyareabetween · 6 years

Text

Texts I Send During Seminary

I consistently forget to post these here, but I’ve compiled them now because tbh, they really show a lot of what seminary is about. (Things in quotes are things said by teacher or students in seminary; asterisks mean I went on a long rant after)

- Cool so in seminary they’re saying that the reason the native Americans were forced out of their lands and beaten and tortured and subjected to the horrors the Europeans brought because it was god’s will.*

- “This is not about color” as god makes the bad guys in the Book of Mormon darker skinned and makes the good guys have light skin. Sure whatever just say Joseph Smith was racist and let’s move on*

- “Women need to be educated because they need to educate their children. Not because you want to make more money.” First of all, fuck you.*

- “When you feel like the church is wrong, you aren’t feeling that it’s wrong, you’re feeling what those people who oppose the church are saying is wrong.” What kinda bullshit logic are you trying to use?

- Oh boy do I just hate going to church and listening to the same lesson I’ve been hearing for 17 years

- Love when the church uses big numbers to make them seem better... Kay so they say they’ve donated $1.2 billion dollars over the last 30 years to charity. They’ve got 15 million members. If all those members paid tithing, that’s a lot of fucking money right? But the church only donated $80 per member to charity. When y’know, you’ve got members donating $18,000 per year. So really, are they really digging into their pockets for charity? If you divide that by the number of years, they’re donating $2.67 per member per year to charity. So like, that’s bullshit.*

- I bond with no one over being gay because I’m surrounded by STRAIGHT PEOPLE

- God we have a sub today in seminary and he’s being a bitch,

“No talking”

“Get off your phone.”

“Use your phone only for scriptures.”

“You have to talk to people.”

“I’m going to take your phone away.”

First of all I have anxiety so jot that down, Second of all, try to take away my phone, I fucking dare you. I will get up and leave, I’m done with this shit.*

- “The Nephites were in bondage.” First of all, that’s kinky. Second of all, please stop saying bondage so much it is making me

u n c o m f o r t a b l e

“In what way have you seen people in bondage today?”

S T O P

- Getting up early and dragging my ass to a religious institution that makes my whole existence a sin is not something I would call ideal. The sabbath is the lord’s day of rest therefore Jesus wants me to take this nap, mom.

- If there’s one thing I’ve learned from church, it’s that I hate kids and I will never have them. Other people? Fine have an army of children. Me? Not for both of my kidneys.

- So my seminary teacher is telling a story about an SBO at Bingham high school. The legislature said you can’t pray at high school graduation right? So this kid gets up at his graduation and prays anyways and my teacher is like, “And I’m so proud of him for standing up for what’s right.” Like wtf. Breaking the law and forcing your religious values on a captive audience seems wrong to me???

- Mormons trying to reconcile religion with science makes me feel not good.*

- “Now that gay marriage is legal, mormons may now be forced to perform gay marriages.” That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

- "A successful woman isnt educated, or in a big career, or an owner of nice things- she's a mother." -My seminary teacher. Like I’m not trying to make motherhood seem unimportant, because it is important, but like... it’s just not for everyone.

- I don't know why but it bugs me when people brag like, "Well I'm related to Brigham young." The man had 50 wives, the real question is who isn't related to Brigham young in this state.

- My teacher is like- overtly racist and it meshes way to well with the doctrine in class

- "Would you go on a mission to a Polynesian island?" Idk man seems racist to me to ask that

- “Our church does really well in countries with dark skin." That's... that's not... where do I even begin to tell you how wrong that is. Bad bad word choice.

- "50% of people who walk into hotel rooms watch porn." First of all, I didn't even know the hotel had any porn options until now. Second, where did you get that statistic?

- "When you dress immodestly it's because you want attention and you don't really care about your body." That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.

- "You'll get an STD if you have sex outside of marriage." I mean, if you're dumb and you're not careful you'll get an STD. You can get an STD even if you're married so lol

- "We turned on a PG-13 movie and within 10 minutes they had sworn like 30 times." At that point it's not PG-13 so you obviously weren't really looking at the rating

- My seminary teacher just said that Albert Einstein said that he believed in god. Which is like. So wrong. Albert Einstein said he was agnostic, and didn't believe in life after death. He said he wouldn't deny the possibility of a divine being but he wouldn't say there was one either 😒😒

- "Wow. The Book of Mormon and the Bible are so similar! They say the same kind of things about this other thing." Wow. It's like. It's like Joseph Smith had read the Bible because he grew up Christian. It's like. It's like he knew what the Bible said. Wow.

-"Anti-Mormon literature is so false, I would know because I'm the expert on the staff here about why it is false." Well first of all you have been so wrong so many times I find that extremely hard to believe

- "Fortnite is part of Satan's plan." Yeah I'm sure Satan wants to turn people from Jesus by playing fortnite.

- "My friends who swear have different thoughts." Wow, really? That's insane information.

- Everyone getting accepted to BYU and I'm here like, lol if I step on that campus I'm pretty sure alarms would go off and the campus and I would burst into flames.

- "It's on girls to dress modestly so boys don't do bad things." Maybe... maybe we should teach boys to control themselves.... And not teach girls it's their fault if boys make fucking dumb decisions...**

- So being gay is equal to murder in the eyes of the church in terms of transgressions. I hate living here*

- “You can’t be on your cellphone unless you’re on the gospel library.” Cool, try to take away my phone, see what happens. Like lol go ahead and call my mom. I don’t care anymore. I clearly have not cared since the day I started seminary. My mom will be pissed and probably take my phone away but really, y’all parade around free agency but it’ll just make you look bad if I get in trouble*

- “All of you on your phones are you with us?” Is that some sort of rhetorical question? Because I know you know I’m not paying attention and I don’t care to so why do you keep asking? Because if you’re looking to shame me into complying, jokes on you, I have no shame.

- Why must I, a simple gay, suffer like this

- If I had to choose between coming here and getting hit by a bus, you best damn be sure I’m choosing the bus

- Because of course that’s how you encourage people to go to church, yell at them so they feel so bad they have to go

- Like 90% of my problems wouldn’t be problems if church weren’t a thing

#exmormon #exmo #i do not like seminary at all #please release me from this hell #eternal suffering in the pits of hell would be preferable to seminary for me #omg seminary was my favorite class- says the girl who never left the state of utah (physically or mentally)#end me please

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intimatevoid · 6 years

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stolen from @littledonkeyburrito

1. Do you have callouses on your fingers? I did, back when I still played guitar often. Not anymore. 2. Ever seen the movie Sky High? Fucking iconic. 3. Do you think that horses are a bit terrifying? They are truly the most evil of creatures.

4. Do you do the grocery shopping? Who else is going to do it?

5. Do you like laying out? I don’t understand what this means..?

6. How many times have you been to the beach? Never since reaching adulthood.

7. What time do you like to wake up? I like to wake up early, like 6am. I ACTUALLY wake up at any time between 7 and midday, depending on when I fell asleep the night before, and how badly my mental illness is playing up.

8. Do you have your own car? I do. But it was old and crappy when I got it, and I suspect it will die before the end of next year.

9. How often do you listen to music? Usually when I'm driving, cooking, cleaning and showering.

10. Have you ever ridden a train? Are there people in western countries that haven’t been on a train?

11. Have you done anything productive today, anyway? I called my JSA about postponing my appointment til tomorrow, and made Ash a cup of tea.

12. Eaten anything delicious today? Mark bought Ash and me Chinese food last night - a rare treat for us - and I had leftovers for breakfast.

13. Have you ever dated someone simply for their looks? While I'm attracted to people's looks, I'm pretty sure my motives for dating have always been mental and emotional.

14. How many boyfriends have you had in 2017? One.

15. Do you know your Social Security number by heart? I think I've memorised most of my ID numbers.

16. How often do you say ‘lol’ in a computer or text conversation? Not very often. Usually I say haha, or when I'm being more sarcastic, lmao.

17. Can you curse around your parents? When we talk on the phone I use curse words, yeah.

18. Are you happy with where you live? It's a good house but too cramped. Town-wise, Toowoomba is trash but it's the coolest (as in temperature) region you'll find north of Victoria.

19. Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No, I’m pretty damn pasty.

20. If you had the chance to move to a completely different state, would you? I don't know. All the people I care about are here. Losing their proximity would wreck me.

21. Do you have a flag? Like, a physical flag made of fabric? No.

22. Do you know where the gun in your house is? Good god, what a terrifying assumption.

23. Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue piercing? I have kissed several people with them.

24. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? Bug spray, sleeping bag, water.

25. Do you still see your ex? Seb and I still occasionally see each other, yeah. 26. Name the last thing to make you angry? I don’t get angry very often, so it's hard to say. 27. What has been the best year of your life so far? I don't know tbh. Every year has been either bad or weird. I guess 2016 was the least bad. 28. If someone liked you now, would you want them to tell you? Yup~ 29. The last person you held hands with, what’s their best feature? They have beautiful eyes and gentle hands and an excellent tum.

30. Is there a high chance you’ll see someone good looking tomorrow? I probably will look in a mirror, yeah

31. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Back in 2012.

32. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them in a car? Yes. 33. Do you mind sleeping on the floor? I'd rather not, but I can if I must. 34. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Not at all. Though at least it's better than my relationship with my dad... 35. What is your least favourite season? 3 36. Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours? I have hugged someone in the last 72 minutes. 37. What do you hear right now? The wind outside my window, the dull rumble of trucks on the highway, a distant train horn, the town clock ringing for 10am, and the quiet hum of my computer. 38. If you say you’ll call someone back, will you? Yes, unless I forget.

39. Do you toss and turn for hours at night or do you just fall straight to sleep? Depends on how tired I am and how mentally well I am. 40. What color shirt were you wearing when you had your last kiss? Same shirt I'm wearing right now, since it was at the same time as that last hug too. :P White. 41. Where do you want to live when you’re older? I want to move to Montreal with @aelwen, sometime in the next ten to twenty years. 42. When you sleep on your bed, is stuff usually on it? Sometimes. I usually kick it off though. 43. Is it easy to make you smile? Very easy. 44. Do you like to play on playgrounds? When is the last time you did? God, it's been ages. I think the last time, I was in high school, and was sitting on a playground in Gatton with a friend while we waited for our dads to pick us up.

45. What do you think of when you hear the word “meow"? Kitties and how much I love them :3

46. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

I don't think so. Sounds cramped.

47. What’s the background on your cell? A gorgeous selfie that @aelwen sent me.

48. Name the last four beds you sat on? My bed at home, Ash's bed, Ruin's bed, and Dakota's bed.

49. Would you rather have a poodle or Rottweiler? Hard to say. Whichever would be easier to care for. I wouldn't want to be a bad caretaker.

50. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo, probably. I haven't been to one of those in years, but I've been to an art gallery more recently.

51. Do you wear hats if you’re having a bad hair day? My hair refuses to let me wear hats. There's too much of it.

52. Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Been there, done that, never again.

53. Does your bedroom have a door? Yeah, but it's a repurposed front door, and literally has a big glass window in the middle of it.

54. Do you think two people can last forever? The people of pompeii have lasted pretty well so far, but forever is still a bit of a stretch.

55. How many windows are open on your computer? No idea. I'm answering this on my phone.

56. What is your ringtone? The Overwatch POTG music. Actually it's about time I changed it...

57. Does your mum try to be cool? Idk. I haven't seen her in years.

58. What are you listening to? Now that I've moved to Ash's room, it's different. I'm listening to the wind blowing through the plants outside the window, faint voices from the park across the road, the whirring of my fan, cars passing by, and Ash using their mouse and keyboard.

59. What were you doing before you took this survey? Napping. My sleep cycle is fucked.

60. What things did you eat today? Leftover Chinese food.

61. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month? Gained, and it went to my hips and boobs, hell yes

62. What kind of milk do you drink? Long life. Ash and I are poor and have to buy in bulk.

63. Do you swear at your parents?

Generally not AT them. I’ll use swear words in conversation with them though. Though more recently I swore at my cunt of a dad.

64. Have you ever been ice skating? No, just a tonne of roller skating.

65. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yeah, it's the law here and also I've been in enough crashes to know it's necessary.

66. Do you like sushi? I love sushi.

67. What food do you find disgusting? Very, very few. I tend to be more indifferent about foods than hateful. But let me think... Weetbix, couscous, things with nasty textures like that.

68. Do older members of the opposite sex ever hit on you? Hahaha, nobody ever hits on me.

59. Do you drink the 6-8 cups of water a day? I have a 2L water bottle that I finish off once or twice a day.

60. What does your last outgoing message say? “orrrrr i could fall asleep again"

61. Could you date someone taller than you? Oh yes. :3

62. What is your current mood? Vague.

63. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet? Not really, as long as the ground isn't too hot.

64. Who was your first crush? lmao it was Lt. Helga Sinclair from Atlantis

65. What are you wearing on your feet? Nothing because it would be insanity in this weather

66. Last person who drove you somewhere? Ash, I think

67. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No, I don't think I ever have.

68. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? I consume more vegetables but I don’t think I actually prefer one over the other.

69. What are your favourite textures? Smooth skin. Fluffy fabric. Reeeeeeally soft pillows.

70. If you won a LOT of money the lottery and decided to move, where would you move to? I would go visit a bunch of my friends before settling down in Canada, I think.

71. Alcoholic beverage of choice? Vodka tbh ^^;

72. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? Hard to say. I'd be hesitant to date anyone under the age of 21, though, bc emotional maturity.

73. If you were around in the sixties would you be a mod or a rocker? I don’t know what those words mean

74. Are thongs sexy? You ain’t actually talkin bout flipflops are ya?

75. What do you think of when I say “the twenties”? My age..?

76. Is penetration important to you? What context could this possibly be other than sexual?

77. What sport were you best at in high school? Me? Sport? High school? Ahahahahahaha

78. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Vodka~

79. Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Nnnnnnope.

80. What would you do if it snowed right now? Open up the BOM website to see if it was actually happening or I was just nuts.

81. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status? It's not really difficult to grasp?

82. Have your past mistakes made you wiser? Of course.

83. What’s your opinion on good grammar: important or not? Not inherently important, as long as communication is clear. Good grammar aids in communication but doesn't guarantee it.

84. The last time you said ‘I love you’ to someone, who said it first, them or you? I’m pretty sure one of my parents said it first because I couldn’t speak when I was a newborn. 85. Do you like potato salad? Nah, not a fan. 86. Have you ever driven and ended up running out of gas? Yeah, being povo is like that. 87. What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? I had an irritated eye and couldn't sleep for all the itching.

88. How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? 20 or so, I think, for an rbt.

89. When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass?

Never.

90. Does it flood easily where you live?

Not in this specific part of town, but Toowoomba as a whole certainly does. *remembers 2011 with a shudder*

#tumblr games #maddie i left in some of your answers because they were perfect

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malunedyne · 6 years

Note

*crack nuckles* de la 1 a la 100

oh noez (thank u)

1. What is you middle name? I only have one ;)

2. How old are you? I still can write 22

3. When is your birthday? this Friday!

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. What's your lucky number? I’d like to think it’s 8

7. Do you have any pets? A cat, Güero :3

8. Where are you from? México

9. How tall are you? 1.58, or so

10. What shoe size are you? 24 1/2

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 9 or 10

12. What was your last dream about? Oh I dreamt of Persona 5 for some reason, I can’t wait to play it!!!

13. What talents do you have? Hmm….. I think I can imagine funny situations and make people laugh at it

14. Are you psychic in any way? yah, something called "self-fulfilling prophecy” lol

15. Favorite song? Right now I can’t stop listening to Last Surprise, from the P5 ost lol

16. Favorite movie? Megamind, I guess (I’m so basic lmao)

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who’s willing to deal with all of my stupid memes, ideas, theories and lots of queer stuff

18. Do you want children? yeah, but not rn

19. Do you want a church wedding? why not?

20. Are you religious? more spiritual than religious, I think

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, two years ago from now

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Hmm I don’t think so, yet hehe

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? unfortunately, nope

24. Baths or showers? Shower

25. What color socks are you wearing? Pink

26. Have you ever been famous? I don’t think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? idk, I’d just like to be read, that’s all

28. What type of music do you likeA long spectrum of music, except reggaeton, banda, bachata, trap….. esas weas feas que tengo que aguantar bc contexto

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? usually one or two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? fetal position haha

32. How big is your house? big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? eggs and milk; in these internship hell days, i have tea, or cereal or milk or a cereal bar haha i’m fucked up

34. Have you ever fired a gun? nope

35. Have you ever tried archery? i like it, but i haven’t

36. Favorite clean word? Rainbow, it sounds as cute as it is

37. Favorite swear word? I said ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ a lot, but the one I sense very powerful is ‘motherfucker’….. en español la que más uso es ‘pinche’, ‘verga’, ‘chingada’….. la verdad es que sí uso muchas groserías usualmente jkdfksjfdkj

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? 22 hours or so dfkjsl

39. Do you have any scars? yeah, plenty

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? nah

41. Are you a good liar? depends, if i truly depend on lying

42. Are you a good judge of character? i think so

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? yaaah, i can imitate some certain voices and manners of other people

44. Do you have a strong accent? nah, it’s more of a acute tune

45. What is your favorite accent? british english and japanese are both g r e a t

46. What is your personality type? INTP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 54 dollar leather jacket, to that expensive, i’d rather use my money for other stuff rather than clothes

48. Can you curl your tongue? yah

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

50. Left or right handed? left handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? i a m, i c a n n o t s t a n d t h e m

52. Favorite food? pizza or pozole or ceviche or surimi

53. Favorite foreign food? I like the authentic udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, very messy

55. Most used phrased? “guess I’ll die”

56. Most used word? “no mames”, not a word, but it should be a whole lol

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?it depends, it can be from 15 minutes to 1 hour lol

58. Do you have much of an ego? it’s a fluid thing, sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t (it’s the depression, lol)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? ehh suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? all the motherfucking time

61. Do you sing to yourself? i like when no one is home so i can sing, yeah

62. Are you a good singer? nope

63. Biggest Fear? the fear of being forgotten

64. Are you a gossip? yeah

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Grave of the Fireflies is most shocking one to me

66. Do you like long or short hair? why not both.jpg, i wanted to chop it so short to begin the year with short hair but my mom told me not to do that xD so i’m keeping it long

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? nah

68. Favorite school subject? everything that had to do with science, or arts, or literature

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

71. What makes you nervous? almost e v e r y t h i n g

72. Are you scared of the dark? depending on where i am

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? if i have a close relationship, yea

74. Are you ticklish? yep

75. Have you ever started a rumor? haha plenty of times

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? being the therapist could count as being authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage? yes, but low tier drinks tbh

78. Have you ever done drugs? nope

79. Who was your first real crush? real crush haha why must you shame me? a guy in the elementary school: silent, tall, glasses and unreachable to me….. i have still that type tho

80. How many piercings do you have? cero

81. Can you roll your Rs?can i what?

82. How fast can you type? GOTTA GO FAST

83. How fast can you run? GOTTA GO FAST (x2)

84. What color is your hair? dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? dark brown as well

86. What are you allergic to? cold weather (my nose and eyes won’t stop tearing, ugh)

87. Do you keep a journal? i try to, when there’s something worth writing

88. What do your parents do? housewife and teacher

89. Do you like your age? i’m starting to want it to stop increasing in number

90. What makes you angry? a lot of things: war, poverty, impotence…. having to wait 5 years for a new zelda game

91. Do you like your own name? yeah, i can vary it in lots of ways

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?yeah, if it’s a boy, Dhani; if it’s a girl, I like Lucina and/or Olivia

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? i think anything is fine tbh

94. What are you strengths? I have strong wills of healing

95. What are your weaknesses? i procrastinate e v e r y t h i n g

96. How did you get your name? my dad is a big fan of the moon and its symbolism and poetry and you know that stuff

97. Were your ancestors royalty? dunno, but i know my great grand father was chinese

98. Do you have any scars? yep

99. Color of your bedspread? el legendario cobertor de tigre blanco

100. Color of your room?ironically both my rooms are white, lol

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surveysonfleek · 7 years

Text

457.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 19

1801. How many smurfs can you name? never really watched it. just smurfette and papa smurf. 1802. Do you keep track of your life using a planner or calendar book?Would you be lost without it? i have a planner that i only use for busy months. 1803. Have you ever fully eradicated a bad habit that you had? yeah. biting my nails. 1804. Where do snowflakes come from? the sky. 1805. What do these latin phrases mean? Et tu Brute: Congito ergo sum: no idea on both.

1806. You're writing a story. The super hot (guy or girl?): guy is about to kiss (who): a frog Just then they get interrupted by (what): the princess and somebody screams, (what):"wtf" but it is too late. Fortunately (who): the king walks by and does something (what): nothing and they all live (how): unhappily ever after. 1807. The radio is playing U2, The Defects, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Pointer Sisters, Staubkind, and Dr. Dre. on different stations. Which band are you most likely to listen to? dr dre. 1808. How do you feel about the tsunami that killed over 100,000 people in December 2004? it’s actually quite shocking to reread the amount of people that lost their lives that day. crazy. 1809. What is the difference between madness and brilliance? brilliance is more of what society would find impressive. 1810. Write any random sentance here: you spelt sentence wrong. 1811. Say the sentence you wrote out loud. Did anybody answer? no. 1812. Turn on your TV if it's not on already, what channel is it? no thanks, remote is too far. 1813. If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, who would it call? work. 1814. Hit edit paste on your browser and paste the last thing you copied here: this survey... so no. 1815. Miracle on 34th street, original or remake? i forgot both tbh. 1816. Have you ever been in a parade? nope. 1817. Why don't people just walk up to each other and become friends? i’m sure it’s happened. 1818. Do you turn the bass up all the way in your car (or would you if you had a car) and blast the music? yeah it’s on max. 1819. Do you care if what you do annoys others? to some extent. 1820. What keeps you from being happy? people bringing me down. 1821. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself five years ago what would you say to yourself(You can only stay in the past for FIVE MINUTES so make it COUNT!)? i’d definitely give myself a direction to go career-wise. 1822. Write a surreal (Having an oddly dreamlike quality) sentance: no. 1823. Can you talk for one hour without using the word 'like'? possibly. 1824. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? no. 1825. Say something nice about: yourself: i’m kind to the people i love. me: thanks for coming up with questions to help me kill time. your dad: he is the most generous person i know. your mom: she’s the best mother anyone could ask for. the one you love: very patient lol. 1826. Questions from random movies: Why is it that a fly can't bird but a bird can fly? You know what people are liking at night? cool. 1827. What is your favorite movie that Denzel Washington has been in? coach carter for sure. 1828. What websites are addictive to you? youtube, reddit, tumblr. 1829. Who do you love so much that you would clean live maggots out of their garbage pail just so that they didn't have to? ummmm. i don’t know... 1830. Who do you think will read all 5,000 of your answers to this survey? no one. or someone who’s redoing them. 1831. Out of everyone reading your diary, how many people know your first name? not many. 1832. When you die and your tragic story is a human intrest spot on the news will you want your friends and family to say you were the greatest smartest and kindest person ever...or tell the truth? tell the truth. i’m dead anyway. 1833. Have you filled out an organ donor card? no. 1834. Who do you never want to end up like? my boyfriend’s mother. 1835. How many oxymorons can you think of? pretty ugly. microsoft works. haha idk. 1836. How many years old is your diary? - 1837. How could today get any worse? no. 1838. What will you never ever do again? not sure... 1839. What's the most terrible lie someone could tell you? something that i already know? 1840. Would you ever wear vinyl pants? probably not. 1841. What was the last thing that you printed out? tickets. 1842. What would you say to Flavor Flav if you saw him walking down the street? nothing. 1843. What are you dependant on? my mother. 1844. What do you look forward to each day? eating and sleeping. 1845. What did you think of the Columbine shootings? tbh i don’t know much about it. 1846. Did you take lessons as a kid? what? gymnastics and karate. 1847. What's the best song to listen to after a break up? boyz ii men. 1848. The radio is playing Poison, Inxs, the Psychadelic Furs, Dio, and Matchbox 20 on different stations. What do you listen to? none. 1849. Do you know what it's like to take care of someone else? yes. 1850. Would you rather take care of someone or be taken care of? obviously be taken care of. but it’s also nice and rewarding to take care of someone else that needs it. 1851. What is the worst 80's song in your opinion? idk. 1852. What song makes you so happy that just want to dance and dance and DANCE? haha plenty of songs. old school rnb i guess. God, does it even matter if you think you "can't dance?" nope. 1853. What has been your most beautiful magical memorable cloud nine manic ecstatic incredibly happy bouncy air-light moment of this life??? watching my boyfriend win on roulette with one single bet in the private section of the casino in monaco. 1854. According to Depeche Mode, "Everything counts in large amounts." According to the Crow, "Nothing is trivial." Do you believe this is true? idk. 1855. Are you enjoying this thrilling lucious roller coaster ride of a life as much as I am? sure. 1856. Do you know how improbable it is that life exists at all? haha don’t get me started. 1857. Are you kind to strangers? most of the time. 1858. Do you go out of your way for other people? if i like them and if they’d do the same for me. 1859. Make a promise: i’ll try and finish this 5000q survey. 1860. Will you keep it? keyword: try. 1861. What do you think of the author of this survey? idk. What's my gender? female? What's my age? this is 10yo so maybe you’re 30+? What bands do I like(you must have SOME idea by now)? 90s stuff. Anything else?? no. 1862. What makes something "literature"? Also, what makes something "art?" to me personally, literature is basically any piece of written work and art can be seen/heard/felt/smelt/tasted in anything. 1863. Why are you even doing this survey?? Doesn't it TELL you something that you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO than fill out a 5,000 question survey??? i’m incredibly bored. 1864. Has answering these questions been a learning experiance for you (writeing them certainly has been for me)? the spelling mistake though. 1865. Have you ever been so happy you could cry? yes. 1866. Do you know that the one you love is the one you will spend the rest of your life with?? haha no i didn’t know that. 1867. Have you ever asked yourself, 'Is there any more to life than this?' yes. 1868. What did you answer yourself? nothing. 1869. Do you let the restrictions of society restrain you? nope. 1870. Or are you just too full of life to be stopped?? sure. 1871. We are spinning on a bright blue bulb that is bursting with life. How could you possibly feel alone? eh... 1872. Is there something you'd like to try? sure, first class! 1873. What makes your heart smile and your skin get all tingly-ish? any time i’m happy. 1874. How long has it been since you danced the night away? quite awhile... 1875. Are you willing to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to get the most out of life? at this stage in my life, no. but i want to. 1876. Are you willing to give the very best most beautiful part of yourself to the world? sure. 1877. Is there love in your heart? yes. 1878. Do things tend to go your way more often when you're happy? i guess so. 1879. What do you do while everyone sleeps? work or surveys lol. 1880. What is one thing you will you never ever ever get any more of? idk. 1881. What's your favorite short story? idk. 1882. Have do you feel about beauty pageants? they’re terrible for children and teens. it sets them up for an insecure mindset if they’re being judged on their looks all the time. 1883. If it ain't broke (say anything but 'don't fix it'): enjoy it. 1884. What is your favorite DIY related website? (mine is probably http://www.homeofthesampler.com) pinterest. 1885. Do you bruise easily? no. 1886. In William Shakespeare's play, "All's Well That Ends Well," the character Parolles makes an interesting speech about virginity, saying that "Virginity by being once lost may be ten times found; by being ever kept, it is ever lost...To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse your mothers; which is most infallible disobedience...virginity murders itself; and should be buried in highways, out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese; consumes itself to the very paring, and so dies with feeding his own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self-love, which is the most inhibited sin in the canon. Keep it not; you cannot choose but lose by't..." What do you think of this? tl:dr. 1887. Would you prefer to stay in a motel, hotel, inn, lodge, or resort? resort. 1888. Have you ever gone scuba diving? no, too scared. 1889. What kind of bread do you like? soft white bread. 1890. Do you usually behave the way you want to? yes. 1891. How does the idea in your head of what you want to be like match up to the reality of what you are like? no. 1892. Do you realize that in 111 questions this survey will have more questions than there have been years since christ was born? haha crazy. 1893. Are your air and water as pure as you want them to be? probably not. 1894. Would you ever visit an insect zoo? i guess i would. 1895. Can you enjoy life without stimulants (coffee, ciggarettes, drugs, alcohol)? i could. 1896. How many hours do you sleep every night? between 5-8. 1897. Is this survey your friday or saturday night date? yes hahaha. 1898. I go crazy when I'm without _______. sleep. 1899. Can you do the robot dance? no. 1900. How much thought do you put into your dance moves? not much at all. 1901. Are you able to recognize patterns, habits, routines and break out of them? yes.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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lil-loucifer · 6 years

Note

ONE OF US MUST CHANGE AND IT AINT GONNA BE ME YOU FOOL. Ps 1-100 on the ask away tumblr asks

Hayden you f u c k

1. What have you eaten today?

A shit ton of pizza

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

The most intimate touch I have ever felt was a hug

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

Black. Boots :P

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Probably my sister??

5. What is your favorite scent?

Freshly baked stuff

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

Winter, because most if not all of my clothes are fucking winter sweaters and coats

And also because I like the cold

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

Nope!!

8. What color are your nails?

Natural?

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

A tiny star near the corner of my right eye, behind the mole so I could just hide it under my hair if I had to

10. What is something you find romantic?

Fucking flowers??? I dunno dude pretty much anything you devote some time and/or effort into doing for someone else in the name of affection?

11. Are you happy?

I dunno tbh

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

For one thing, I did a fucking bomb-ass job on a presentation I had to do in front of a class, even though I couldn’t log into google drive and couldn’t access my fucking notes for the presentation and had to improvise it

13. Dogs or Cats?

Both!!!

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

A tie between a library and museum, but it depends on the museum.

15. What is your style?

Scruffy as fuck, with some degree of hipster/punk, but mostly just slobbish.

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

Affording material possessions I want to buy

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

“It’s complicated”

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

Emotional dependence???

Also probably mutual trust and care

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

I don’t think I would??

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

Certain text conversations and shit my last ex and I had. It didn’t end well between us.

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I stayed home and handed out fuckin candy

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

I dunno.

23. Were you ever in a school play?

Nahhh, I’m not a good actor

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

HAVING FRIENDS BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE I HABITUALLY ACT LIKE A HUGE BITCH ALL THE TIME AND AM INTIMIDATED WHENEVER I’M INTRODUCED INTO GROUPS AND YET I’M STILL CLINGY AS SHIT

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

Video games. I dunno man I just like playing games with people

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

A lot of guys are really gross and shit, and also sexist or alpha male-like. I catch myself exhibiting similar behavior sometimes and hate it

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

I’m too immature to understand anything

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

Pretty much reached a lvl 2 friendship with someone after we both let it slip that we were bi within three minutes of each other

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

Sad friends

31. How long was your longest relationship?

One business week

32. Have you ever been in love?

You know? I dunno

33. Are you currently in love?

I think so?

34. Why did your last relationship end?

We were both in really bad mental places and decided to break up so we wouldn’t hurt each other

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it

I’m not wearing any???

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I don’t remember when, but it was definitely over feeling super alone

37. Name someone pretty.

Deborah Ann Woll??

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

I didn’t do shit last valentine’s day

39. Do you get jealous easily?

Kinda, but I don’t let it fuck up my relationships

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

Maybe?

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

Yeah!!

42. Ever had detention?

Kinda? I don’t remember it well but I think I talked my way out of it

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

I don’t know to be honest, probably the city if I could afford it

44. What do people call you?

LUCIFER, THE DARK LORD OF THE NINE HELLS

45. What was the last book you read?

The Ship of the Dead, by Rick Riordan

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

Huge, but I don’t look the part. Someone once asked me “Hey, do you watch One Punch Man?” and his other annoying friend hastily whispered “Does he look like he watches One Punch Man?? Don’t annoy him bro” and they never asked again

I was, in fact, fully caught up with the anime at that point

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

All fuckin kinds bruh, mostly punk rock, metal and hip-hop tho

48. How tall are you?

5′10′’ I think??

49. Do you like kids?

Not really

50. Favorite fruits?

Grapes, apple and watermelon

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

I haven’t owned a pair of sweatpants since I was ten

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was still really young, maybe two-ish?? Either my sister or my mother--she was female--put me down on the floor in what would become my sister’s room, long before we moved most of her new furniture in and repainted her walls, next to a belt she would keep for the next ten years and an old comb she still has now. It was mid-day.

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

Nope!

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind! Photography is fun~

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

Video games?

56. Do you save money or spend it?

I suck at saving money ffs

57. What would your dream house be like?

Simple and clean, full of my stuff

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

1: Maliciousness

2: Oppression

3: Bothering my crew

4: Bothering me

5: Losing repeatedly in video games

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

1: Things that make me laugh

2: Writing a story easily

3: Pretty much anything to do with you ngl

4: Friends!!

5: Seeing an asshole get what’s coming

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Y o u r e g o n n a h a t e m e i f I a n s w e r e d h o n e s t l y

61: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Honestly I’d probably tell everyone I’m dying and face it with open arms

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Beat

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I dunno???

64. Do you like the beach?

I like the aesthetic appeal of the beach?? But I hate water and heat and sand, so...

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

Never had a chance

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Mayor

67. Do you talk to yourself?

I think out loud sometimes, but otherwise, no

68. Describe your hair.

Floofy

69. What is the meaning of life.

To find one

70. What is your ideal partner like?

You ;)

But for realsies, someone I can trust and feel comfortable around

71. Do you want to get married?

Not really??

72. Do you want to have kids?

NOT REALLY???

73. Like or dislike your family?

Neutral

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Chunky?

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

76. What would you change about your life?

My drive do do literally anything

77. Religious or Not?

Kinda?

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

The cop that pulls me over for drunk driving

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

I dunno man depends on how long I’m alone there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

You

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Either cuddling or legitimately fighting each other over who changes outfits in Animal Crossing

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

They are already here

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

Yeah, if I let them.

84. Do you like bubble baths?

I dunno, I haven’t ever had one.

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

Nope!

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

Yeeeaaaah! And I didn’t get sick!

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

Not really

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

As usual, “whhhaat fucking time is it??”

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

I’m not really into travelling???

90. How was your day today?

Average

91. Play an instrument?

I suck at anything musical

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

Boundless, infinite. Terror beneath.

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Both!!

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

I can’t really say. I had a goal in mind, and just planned to improvise until I got there, so...

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

Yes and it is my default demeanor for most of the time

96. When are you vulnerable?

...All the time

97. How much free time do you have?

Too much, honestly

98. Do you like to go hiking?

Hell no

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

Even?

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

The most extreme thing I’ve done is knife fighting, does that count?

#asks and shit #punk-rock-pixie

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