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dorizardthewizard · 4 years

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So I watched the Eurovision movie

Uh, I have a lot of thoughts because this is the closest we’re gonna get to the real thing this year ;^; First, the positives!

What they got right:

Overall, I like that it wasn’t really taking the piss out of the competition – whether you agree or not with how it was portrayed, the creators do have a lot of love for the show and that is reflected in how much it means to the characters. I think it was fitting to start with the kids watching and being inspired by ABBA’s win (I’m always up for showing people where the group’s fame started), and making it their life goal to perform in the contest. Just like Lars and Sigrit, many musicians in Europe grow up with Eurovision being an annual tradition and it’s their big dream to one day perform on that international stage, so yeah I think it decently showed how important ESC is here.

They got the overall vibe right too – most of the songs really felt like Eurovision songs (maybe a little dated but still), from the Viking-Europop opener to the Lordi-aesthetic one to whatever the hell Russia was doing. I don’t think Greece’s song was something they’d ever send though; it fits the character but not what the country typically sends. Then again, Estonia have sent an opera song in Italian and Romania sent yodel rap so actually, I take back that statement. They were missing a Balkan ballad though! Staging was on point – I think it was filmed at the Tel Aviv stage so that’s obviously a factor, but big angel wings and hamster wheels also bring a lot of familiarity :P No pianos being set on fire though, which, in a movie with so many on-stage disasters, is honestly surprising.

Of course there’s also the past contestant cameos, for that I’ll say one thing – needs more Verka. Maybe some contestants from earlier years would have been nice too, at least we did hear Céline Dion’s song in the song-along. Would also have been nice if the whole mashup was Eurovision songs, instead of throwing in some other ones just to make it more recognizable for non-Eurofans. Otherwise, the mashup was really seamless and sounded good.

Another thing the movie got right was European’s attitudes to Americans, not sure how I feel about it since the movie was made by Americans, but it’s self-aware and pretty funny :P There’s also the funny gag about countries not wanting to host because of how expensive it is, not sure why a guy working for the national broadcaster would care about that but looking at Iceland’s population size, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was also an economist for the government or something.

What they got wrong:

Of course, there were some things they didn’t quite get right. First of all, did the UK win for it to be hosted in Scotland??? Unless Australia won, or some other country that didn’t want to host or something. They actually made a joke about UK getting zero points, but they said it’s because no one likes us, when in reality we just send the blandest songs :/

There were also a whole lot of technical inaccuracies like Sweden breaking the rule on number of people allowed on stage, big five countries taking part in the semi-final (come on, how can you not get that right? Maybe they were afraid Americans wouldn’t recognise half the flags? :P), the contestants were just sitting by themselves in some room like it’s The Voice or something, their delegations nowhere to be seen, and then there’s the total lack of security or planning around the competition, with Lars just running around doing whatever. The countries presenting their votes in the semi-final stood out as well, but since we didn’t get to see the final I can brush over it, just so we experience the voting somewhere in the movie. Wonder why they didn’t use past contestants for the points announcements? They also had the French one speaking in English but you know what, they remembered to make sure he was standing in front of the Eiffel Tower so I’ll let them off :P

One thing that did bother me was how hard the movie tried to make us think the Icelandic song was a failure, except the song wasn’t even bad so they had to resort to all the incidents on stage. They even had that complete silence after the hamster wheel incident, and there is NO WAY that would ever happen – even the null points songs get cheers! In fact, people would cheer harder, and I don’t think Graham Norton, or anyone for that matter, would be that surprised that people remembered the song and actually gave it points (oh yeah, great to see him in this!).

Okay, some of those inaccuracies were nitpicks, but they’re just fun to point out. I don’t think they quite nailed the portrayal though, but more on that later.

The movie itself:

Judging the rest of the film, the humour really didn’t do it for me- it was just kind of jarring that one half of the movie felt like your usual light-hearted music contest film that was fairly rooted in reality, then the next there’s a dismembered ghost of Demi Lovato and a guy getting stabbed by Elves??? I know it’s classic Will Ferrel random comedy but honestly, those parts could have been cut out of the movie just fine, it’s like half an hour too long anyway and you can tell by the way the humour drags. It can basically be summarised by the ending scene where Lars is yelling at the Americans and then just keeps going, and I know that’s the joke in that scene but they do this throughout the whole movie – something will happen and the characters will keep reacting back and forth and it’s honestly exhausting. That might just be me though, maybe I’d prefer more witty and self-aware humour in a Eurovision movie but I guess non-fans wouldn’t get half the jokes so they went for over-the-top ridiculousness ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As for the characters, Sigrit was great; she’s a good mix between cute and weird. Lars is… annoying tbh, maybe I just don’t care for Will Ferrel's character type but when Alexander asks Lars what he can possibly offer Sigrit I was like “yeah Lars, what CAN you offer?”. Their relationship was cute though and his arc about caring too much about winning was decent, it does kind of resonate with Eurovision because yeah, lots of countries will revamp their songs to have English lyrics and the style is increasingly converging to Americanized radio-friendly pop music. I do wish they’d focused more on this conflict, rather than bringing in a love square (?) with Alexander and Mita.

Speaking of Alexander, I actually liked how they portrayed the Russian character; he wasn’t a villain, he was fun to watch and was genuinely happy to see Sigrit succeed. I did not expect them to go there with the whole “there are no gays in Russia” thing – I laughed but also actually felt for the guy, and his friendship with Mita was peak mlm/wlw solidarity, it was sweet.

The ending:

For me, this is where it goes American Hollywood style and kinda reminds me of Madonna’s speech about everyone being winners. Felt like I was watching Camp Rock for a second then (which is funny since Demi is in this movie) – all the other acts are fun songs but we’ll just change ours to a ballad so it must be more heartfelt and resonate with the audience, as if a good chunk of ESC songs aren’t ballads already!! To be fair, they do well in having it be a personal song about her hometown and adding in parts in Icelandic (although I’ve heard it’s so butchered you can’t understand what’s being said), it’s a sweet ode to one of the best parts of Eurovision – celebrating where you’re from and making your country proud.

Wish they’d focused more on that tbh, we really could have done without Lars speaking to the audience – that’s the more Hollywood moment for me and kind of reminds me of acts that try to connect with the audience like it’s a concert. Sorry but we don’t do that here :P Instead of the “music is feeling”-like message, it would have been nice if the movie was more directed towards celebrating why the contest is so big and important even decades after it began, and how it literally brings an entire continent together for one night. This would have been nice especially because of all the cynicism towards ESC and its dismissal as just a dumb, campy event with no quality music whatsoever.

Huh, I just remembered there are no live instruments at Eurovision so how everyone can hear the piano at the end is beyond me, also the instrumental kicks in despite the fact that that song has never been recorded in a studio, let alone able to be played out loud onstage. But I’ll just imagine that’s for us to see, the audience actually just heard her singing and nothing else. I don’t think it would have been that impressive, so Iceland probably won everyone’s hearts through memes instead :’D

Overall, I don’t think the movie was terribly offensive or anything, just some silly fun that missed out on the potential of better portraying the Eurovision spirit. I might eventually watch it again, but with skipping out half the comedy :P

#eurovision #esc #eurovision movie #the story of fire saga #feel free to share thoughts if you were crazy enough to read all this!#my posts

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the-crowess · 3 years

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Altrovough: Adventure on Every Horizon

Chapter 1: Out of the Dark I hadn't been playing for six months. Not because it had become too expensive. Not because work became too much for me. Not because I got a significant other. Not because the community was bad or anything like that. No, I hadn't played in six months because my avatar was stuck in a trap.

There are glitches, you see. Somehow in this modern VR experience there are still glitches. And with glitches comes assholes who use those glitches to their advantage.

So, here's what happened to me: Me and my party went into a dungeon. We split up. Two went one way, two went the other, and I (though I protested) was by myself. Even though I had a lantern when I walked down into the hallway it was completely black. That should have been my first clue that this was a trap of some sort. My lantern still had fire, but no light was being produced from it. Being promised treasure and being a dumbass, I continued forward into the dark. After walking just far enough into the hallway to make the doorway disappear, I sprung a tile trap.

The floor beneath me sloped downward and I fell rolling after it. Head over heels I fell until I smacked my face and passed out.

I woke up in chains. I was propped up against a wall. My wrists above my head were on short chains, and my ankles on longer chains.

Okay, I thought, no biggy. I'll just restart the day.

Okay, so that didn't work. Which is weird... I'll call my party members...

No service? What the fuck? That's not even an element in this game!

Well, uh, okay I guess I'll just bust out of these—rusty—old—chains!

...

Nope.

After exhausting my options, then exhausting them again I logged off.

For months I kept receiving messages that players were interacting with my avatar, so I would log on, only for them to laugh at me and be utterly and completely unhelpful.

My party visited me four separate times. And all of those times were to make fun or my misfortune, even though they knew that ANYTIME they could unlock the chains and release me. The first time it was all of them together. The captain Jockster (or Jerkstar as I call him) had squatted down in front of me and said, "this is what you get, you know. Playing this way has consequences. Thanks for taking one for the team." Then he had laughed like the drug addicted jackass he was. The others laughed with him. The second time it was only Aliciandria (our rouge) and Marlquan (our cleric). They had been discussing what to do with me when Alicandria accidentally kicked my foot and I responded, and I woke up to them talking about if they should just kill me so that they wouldn't have to worry about how people were judging them for not helping me. The third time it was just Havanio (the sorcerer). He woke me up, then sat across from me and said nothing for an hour. He just sat there like a fucking douchebag and looked at me like I was some caged beast put there for his entertainment. And the last time doesn't matter.

Players of all kinds and from all districts would stop by only to laugh at me. I became a joke, and even more that that I became a meme! Screenshots of my avatar hanging there like a prisoner spread all over the internet. To add to my torture, a player whose avatar was a homely goblin woman would harass me constantly.

Behind the happy smile of someone who literally baked cookies for visitors was a demented maniac. This guy—I know she is a he because he fucking DM'd me dick pics. I think he harassed me for three reasons: 1) I fell right into his trap 2) My avatar is a hot man and I think Little Miss Goblin Man is gay or more likely bi and uncomfortable with his sexuality 3) I think he thought he figured out that the gender of my avatar and the gender of myself might not be the same, and he was definitely trying to intimidate me. This asshole physically and sexually harassed my avatar, and I couldn't even report it!

Not like I didn't try to report it—when I did the staff would send in an NPC (Non-Player Character) and see literally nothing. So, in this trap: it's a glitch mixed with a non-invasive virus; meaning the virus only effects this one spot and not the whole server or game. It can't get into your computer. It like can't get past the firewalls or something I don't really know.

So, not only did this jack-wad figure out a way to trap me, but he also figured out how to keep his dirty deeds hidden from the staff. For almost three months I continued to check in. Two weeks after the initial incident I jumped at every UAN (Unconscious Avatar Notification) but I quickly learned that nobody wanted to help me, they all just wanted to see if the rumors were true and maybe get a picture. Eventually I stopped responding and eventually my avatar fell out of the popular meme rotation.

...

BEEP. BEEP. UAN! Someone's interacting with your character! 😊

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!! Someone's interacting with your character.

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!!! Respond you asshole! You should log on!

"Uhg! Fine!"

I left my lunch (thinking I would return to it real soon) and went to my game room to log on.

I woke to a girl poking my cheek. I snapped at her fingers.

"Oh! Fuck!" She pulled her hand away, shaking off the close call, "you're hard to wake up! Not much for answering your UAN's huh?"

Standing over me was a girl of maybe nineteen. Her clothes draped and flowed about figure in Cleric glory. Great. A fucking cleric. She wouldn't've stood out more. Dark skin with undoubtably "sea green" eyes. Her hair was done up in some completely unattainable style that was loopy with braids and pigtails sectioned into pompoms; it was a shade of maroon that says, "I'm a supporting character, but I want to think I'm a main character!"

"Is it true you've been down here six months?"

"O.O.G."

"What?"

"Out. Of. Game. I've been 'down here' six months out of game."

"Holy cow, man! That's a while."

"Did you need something?"

"Excuse me?"

I made cold eye contact with her, "Did. You. Need. Something?"

"Uh... wellllllll, I heard a rumor that there was some poor fuck stuck down here who can't get himself out."

"Oh. Fantastic." An awkward silence split between us, "well, thanks for stopping by. Take a screenshot, it'll last longer."

She stared blankly at me, "no. I think you misunderstand. I'm here to help you."

"What."

"I'm here to help you."

I couldn't think. Couldn't fathom this thing unfolding in front of me, "what?"

She began to fiddle with the chains on my wrist.

"Wait, no!"

She looked down at me the way a mom would look at her two-year-old who says he doesn't want to eat mashed potatoes because they have eyes and he doesn't want to eat mashed eyeballs.

"Wait." As my heart pounded loudly in my chest, I asked her, "what do you want from me? Like, you—you can't just want to let me go. You must want something from me."

She sat back down on her heels and looked away, her lips followed her eyes away from me and back, and she said, "Well, no. Not really. Like I said: I heard there might be some poor fuck who was trapped and couldn't get out on his own. I thought for my first adventure, I'd go get 'im." Then she went right back to messing with the chains.

I laughed and shook my head.

She stood up and put her hands on her hips, pouting. Lordy, she was cute. The puzzled look on her face gave me some hope that maybe she might actually be able to save me. With a huff she sat down again and confessed, "you're the only reason I got this game. You're a meme, a legend. You're so classic that you're practically nonexistent. Every time this game comes up in social media you're mentioned. On all the subreddits, and in the deepest parts of tumblr—you're there. I just had to come see if you were real, and I was—and still am—planning that if you were actually here that I would help you out."

"No catch?"

"No catch."

I smiled to myself, knowing now that it was I who had the advantage. I could use her. After all, every party needs a healer. Now I just had to make sure she wouldn't ditch me anytime soon. "Are you sure you don't want to try and find a catch? I was a level 52 before this whole ordeal."

She perked up, "what's your level now, cowboy?"

"35."

"What?! You're so dilapidated and all your equipment was stolen. H-HOW?"

"Cause I'm just that awesome." This should do it.

"I've changed my mind!"

Perfect.

"I want you as a bodyguard! For two years—"

"One year."

"Alright, one year." She looked like she wanted to ask me to shake on it, but then thought better of it, "can I please help you out now?"

"Yes."

Very quickly, and with very little trouble she released me from my chains. Bruises and scars tattooed my wrists and ankles. How the coding of this game works is literally so fucking far beyond me. I pulled my limbs into myself, feeling the stiff resistance of time.

"Can you get up?"

Without needing to consider it I said, "no, I don't think so. Do you have any potions that will give me a boost?"

"Oh yes! I knew that if I found you, you'd need medical help immediately, so I spent all the gold from my—"

"All your gold??? Are you stupid?"

"Whaaaa? I-I... I—just—"

"Whatever. We'll figure it out. What potions do you have?"

She nodded very curtly, and pulled up her bag contents and read them off to me: "fifteen Good Health Potions, fifteen Great Health Potions, fifteen Fantastic Health Potions, ten Boost 'Ems, seven Leaves Of Health, two Gladiator Liquid Bandages and two Beats of Life. What'll it be?"

"Gimme a Boost 'Em."

She tapped on the icon and a Boot 'Em materialized in her hand. She put it out to me, but when I grabbed for it, she pulled away. I of course made eye contact with her, thinking she was gonna pull a fast one on me. Instead she said, "Valhalla."

"What?" My immediate confusion fell away into fear. This must be a trick. But why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense. I'm clearly smarter than her. It's me that's tricking her, why would she—

"That's my name. Valhalla."

The interruption of my panicked thinking threw me off guard. That's a stupid name. Before I could tell her how stupid I thought her name was she put the Boost 'Em in my hand.

Taking the potion, I had trouble removing the cork. Valhalla silently offered her help, but I shooed her away. I grumbled something about how I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.

With much effort and significant struggling, I yanked the cork out and threw it over my shoulder. Only for it to bounce off the wall and back into my lap. With the kind of drunken vigor seen at taverns I swallowed the creamy blue liquid. The moment it touched my lips, a feeling of power hit me like caffeine in a low-calorie energy drink. Going down my throat it felt like warm milk and honey. Electrifying energy flowed outward from my middle. It snaked its way through my arms and legs. It made my fingers and toes tingle like pins and needles.

I leapt up, a new man. I knew this wouldn't last long, and I knew that later this would end up hurting me more, but fuck.

Fuck this feels good.

"Do you have any weapons?"

"Uh, yeah." Valhalla pulled up her bag again and tapped on the Equipment tab. "What do you want?"

There were certainly more weapons than should have been in her bag if she had just started, let alone had spent all her starter gold on potions. I chose to ignore this. "I'll take the mace." I reached up and engaged with the weapon. The heavy steel handle materialized in my outstretched hand. By the look on her face, it must have been the first time Valhalla had seen anyone engage. I'm glad I was able to be the one to show her, in all the glory I could muster.

"This is a pretty nasty weapon, baby." I swung it a couple of times, feeling the weight; testing the blow power.

"I picked it up because I liked the color!"

I laughed, "I guess I overlooked the purple steel, but this will do nicely."

"Nicely for what?"

"Do me a favor, doll. You see that door over there? Go knock."

"Okay, but," she came right up close to me and stuck her face in mine, "I'm not a fucking doll."

"Noted."

I followed her as she warily walked to the door of the goblin woman's kitchen. Valhalla knocked timidly on the door.

"Come in!" The goblin wench cooed, "I just baked some fresh cookies! We can pose next to the body if you want!"

I caught Valhalla frown and furrow her brows at "the body".

Oh how sweet this will taste, I thought as adrenaline pumped through my veins. I passed in front of Valhalla whispering, "stay back."

I slid through the open door. The goblin hag had her back to me, this couldn't have been planned more perfectly. I crept up behind her with my mace raised above my head and my six-foot-five shadow engulfed her. She turned around with horror, a tray of cookies in hand. Her eyes widened and she tensed as if she were to scream.

But I didn't give her a chance.

"Your actions have consequences."

I let the mace fall down upon her head. The crack of her skull resonated harmoniously with the clang of the cookie sheet on the ground. Giddy joy sprung forth from me as I smashed the mace into her again and again. The second blow shattered her ribcage. Her ribs sprang up and splintered through her tissue. Smashing her hands made her fingers pop off, they flew in all directions. A blow to her thigh created a fountain. Warm blood hit my bare chest, my exposed legs. It splattered on my face. It coated my hands. It made the mace slippery in my hands. Her blood soaked what little was left of my shorts. It sprayed the walls, the kitchy table and chairs, the coffee pot and baking ingredients. Blood decorated the cookies that now laid scattered on the floor.

Satisfied by the pulpy mound of oozing, squirting flesh and bone I subsided. Reaching down, I tore a blood-soaked rag from her dress. Turning to the wall I wrote LEAVE.

Standing back, I let out a heavy sigh. The effects of the Boost 'Em would soon wear off. I turned around and cracked my neck. I looked over in Valhalla's direction, but over her head. "I need some new clothes." I declared.

She stared at me. Her eyes pulled mine in and her mouth morphed into a grin, "fuck. YEAH!"

"Huh??????"

"Dude she called you 'the body'. And we both know that she was the reason you were stuck down here. Plus: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I am so glad I came to find you! Best $130 dollars I ever spent." She then ran up and hugged me. The contact made me tense up.

I shook out of her embrace, "let's get out of this dungeon."

She led the way out. It was different from the way I had come in. We walked down the hallway that I had stared at for so long, hoping that somebody, anybody would come for me. Not ten feet into the tunnel we turned a corner and there was the exit. My stomach dropped. I felt sick.

It had been so close the whole time. Learning this made me want to revive that sonofabitch just to kill her all over again.

Emerging into the sunlight hurt my eyes. I was blinded.

What a sight we must have been. Myself: six-five, soaked in blood, starved, almost naked. Her: small, sweet-looking, fresh-faced, and not a drop of blood on her.

I still couldn't really see when somebody started talking. "Hey, are you guys okay?"

"Oh, we're fine," Valhalla sang sweetly sang sweetly next to me. At that very moment, I lost all my energy. My health bar plummeted, and sirens rang through my headset. My vison flashed red. I fell to the ground.

The group that had approached watched, alarmed. Valhalla looked like she wanted to eat her words.

Stupid girl. She had no idea what to do.

I had fifteen seconds before I'd die. This had happened once before when my former party and I had just started the game. We got attacked by a level 20 dragon and one strike had me seeing red.

10 seconds.

They were bickering about the best course of action. They had no idea I was on the brink of death. Valhalla stared at me looking like a lost idiot.

The sky began to spin. Valhalla's blurry silhouette swayed above me.

Did she forget about all that stuff she bought? How many gaming hours did she log before she came to find me? Did she even go on the tutorial adventure? I mean, you can technically skip it, but—

"BEAT." I coughed out then my head lolled.

The party erupted into tense panic.

5 seconds.

Oh please, please Valhalla. Please don't let me die. After all, you told me you came to save me. So save me!

Just as if she could hear my internal pleas, a beat was shoved in my mouth and my jaw forced upward from the outside to crush it. The juicy tuber gushed in my mouth. I felt Valhalla's hand on my lips, pressing down to keep everything in. I'd heard rumors of the experience of Beat of Life. Some players said they almost wish their party members would have let them die. The juice was hot, potent, and sour. So sour is made my jaw ache. It felt like someone was twisting a wheel, making my jaw tighter and tighter. My teeth felt like they were going to pop out of their gums. It burned my throat, made my eyes water and my nose run. My stomach did not want to accept it. I wanted to throw up, but I couldn't move. Hot flashes waved through my body. An ocean of churning heat pushed and pulled at my organs, my brain. I could feel myself sweating. Growing hotter by the moment. My head swam. My limbs grew numb. I passed out.

I was saved. Unconscious, but saved.

But Valhalla didn't know that. Stupid girl, skipping the tutorial. What was she thinking? Guess I'd have to ask her when I woke up.

And so I took off my headset and it was dusk.

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bigtiddygandalf · 5 years

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I’m sorry but imagine Peter Parker being nominated for Queer Eye

Aunt May definitely nominated him

His life seems like it’s super together from the outside but Lordy his apartment is MESSY

Not that anyone can blame him seeing as he’s running back and forth from college to internships to his job

(to his second secret job)

But no one needs to know about that

Shhhh🤫🤫

Peter is chilling on his couch talking Matt through busting a drug ring he can’t be there for when all of a sudden five gay men burst through his door and start tearing up the place

Tan kind of secretly adores his worn college look but he still tries to add some professional clothes to his wardrobe

Bobby immediately connect with the being adopted thing and they start talking

Peter is talking to Antoni about his obsessive ramen comsumption, when Tan and Jonathan come barelling out of his room with the Spider-Man suit in tow

Peter blanches

Then JVN goes “kinky boy” and they start laughing

Until Tan realizes the quality is much higher then any normal knock off and when he poses the question Peter stops breathing

And they all look at him

And as calmly as he can he says “well you know I take pictures of him for a living, well we also... spend some time together too..”

And he meant it in a cool brotherly hang out kinda way

But they take it a totally different way

And before you know it Peter is known as Spideys boyfriend

And JVN is asking about that spider DICK

“So like does it shoot out webs too?”

And Karamo is talking about respecting himself so his boyfriend can respect him

And Bobby is trying to add little Spider-Man perches in his house because he knows SM likes to be up high

(which Peter secretly appreciates but OH MY GOD)

The episode comes out and Aunt May won’t stop asking him if it’s true, and why he hid it

And Tony?

Tony won’t stop making fun of him for a full year

It’s all fine and dandy until the kidnapping starts, because apparently being fake outed as a superhero’s boyfriend comes with consequences

The Avengers keeping saving him , because OBVIOUSLY SPIDERMAN CANT

And eventually when it comes out that Peter actually IS Spider-Man, the episode becomes the most viewed episode on Netflix

Peter gets a little card from the fab five that pretty much says

Sorry

Peter smiles and writes back “it’s cool guys”

Then after a moments consideration he adds “thanks for the perches Bobby”

#spider man #spiderman #Spider-Man #peter parker #aunt may #tony stark #ironman #queer eye #qe #jvn #tan france #karamo brown #hc #headcanon #spiderman headcanon

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zambie-trashart · 3 years

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Holy Drummer: Chapter 1

Full fic on ao3

Masterlist

Next part

I realized that I haven’t been transferring stuff over here that much which kind of sucks but I’ve been working with the JATP fandom for a bit now so I hope that most of the people who follow me for maribat might be willing to read some of this stuff and my rewrites I’m planning on dropping a new one soon I promise. I hope y’all enjoy.

Summary: Facing religion, sexuality, and music is not what Alex sighed up for when his parents convinced him to help out those who were far from God. Can he handle his two newest challenges named Reggie and Luke?

Chapter 1: I Heard the Bells

Reggie smiled getting up in the morning next to Luke, he could feel the sunshine down on his skin waking him up and looked next to him as Luke’s eyes fluttered open as well. The two boys looked into each other’s eyes lovingly leaning in before hearing a cough from the door. Reggie’s mother was standing there with a pissed off look in her eyes staring down at the two boys who were still close.

“What the hell is going on here?” she asked eyes screaming bloody murder. “Not in my house!” she screamed walking over to the bed pulling them up by their shirts and pushing them out of the bedroom and down to the living room. “I didn’t ask for no gay son,” she said to Reggie’s father who looked at them with a drink in his hand.

“Reginald, you tell me that’s not true that you’re just playing jokes on your mother,” he growled and Reggie gulped backing into Luke. “No, no, no dear boy you get back here!” he yelled and Reggie grabbed Luke’s hand sprinting out of the house and down the street to Luke’s house as fast as possible.

“Mrs. Patterson!” Reggie called and Emily came down the stairs, phone in her hand with tears in her eyes looking at the two.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked sadly. “I could have helped,” she added looking at Luke sadly.

“We don’t need help mom, we don’t have a problem,” Luke said angrily.

“Of course you don’t, just please listen to me, my good friend Caroline from the church, she has a son about your age, he’s the sweetest thing, only sixteen, he could help you guys,” Emily said and the two seventeen-year-olds frowned at her before accepting their fate.

“We’ll meet with him, only once though I’m not sticking around if he doesn’t have anything good to say,” Luke said and his mother smiled.

“Thank you, Luke.”

The two walked to school passing by a clean group of juniors the two wondering which one of them would be helping them “figure stuff out”. It’s not like it mattered though cause they had to get to class and even if the torture of a catholic boy talking to them loomed over their heads for the rest of the day, it was worth it cause they had each other.

“Reggie?” Luke asked his friend as they walked out of school at the end of the day.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to know if you were nervous for Sunday.”

“Well, a little but I want my parents to at least think that I tried to straighten myself out a bit even if it doesn’t work,” Reggie said picking at the bottom of his jacket.

“We shouldn’t have to change who we are for our parents to love us Reg, and if they can’t see that we’re perfect the way we are then maybe we should just pack up and go,” Luke said looking up into the sky as they walked hand in hand. Reggie had heard Luke talk about running away before but now in this context, it seemed so much more real. The two of them alone, not having to worry about anything or anyone, the dream seemed so real he could almost taste it.

“Maybe one day we’ll finally escape them Luke, but not today,” Reggie said letting go of Luke’s hand as they walked up their street arriving at Luke’s house first and the two said goodbye and parted waiting for Saturday to hit them like a bus.

Luke woke up the next morning to his father praying over him scaring Luke as he shot out of bed.

“What are you doing in here?” Luke asked eyes wide and startled.

“Just some morning prayer, the Joyner’s told us we should take it up before Sunday so I figured I’d come pray with you this morning but you weren’t awake yet,” Mitch explained and Luke nodded smiling uncomfortably. Luke now knew who his bright-eyed helper was going to be and he was thankful it wouldn’t be some big-headed jock, it would be anxious, blonde, every straight guy's sexual awakening, Alexander Joyner. Luke flopped back down onto his bed sighing before sitting up again panicked.

“Don’t freak out Luke, it’s just the guy that you used to like, you have Reggie now you don’t need to stare at Alex and his blue eyes and tan skin, and oh my God shut up!” Luke yelled at himself trying not to think about the pretty catholic boy. “Everything is going to be fine,” Luke grabbed his shirt and walked down the stairs to have breakfast and saw his parents sitting with another couple.

“Ah, this must be Luke.” The man stood up walking over to shake Luke’s hand. “I’m Pastor Joyner, my son Alexander will be helping you out tomorrow.” Luke smiled and nodded trying to seem happy about the whole thing when in reality he was kind of freaking out. “Nothing to be worried about my boy, Alexander should have you straightened out in no time.” The adults laughed at the joke and Luke laughed along uncomfortably before sitting down in his seat as his mom brought in a bowl of cereal.

“Alexander is in some of your classes right Luke?” Emily asked and Luke nodded mouth full of fruit loops.

“We have chemistry together,” Luke said and the Joyners smiled.

“Well, Alexander might even be able to help you out after all of this you two can be study buddies,” Mrs. Joyner suggested.

“Yeah, sounds great,” Luke said and the couple just smiled back at him. Alex was like a carbon copy of them, his whole family just looked pretty.

“Well, we really must be getting down the street to Reginald’s house, have a great breakfast and we’ll see you tomorrow for service.” They got up, Mr. Joyner tipping his hat at them before walking out of the house. Luke swallowed another bowl of cereal before dreading the next day. Church was going to be his living hell.

Reggie was singing to his sister Marla when the doorbell rang, Reggie got up and opened the door to see Mr. and Mrs. Joyner who welcomed themselves into the house.

“Um, hi, I wasn’t expecting anyone, my parents are out until later today with grocery shopping,” Reggie said and Marla clung to his leg at the sight of the fancily dressed married couple.

“They’re pretty, can I get a necklace like that Reggie?” Marla asked looking up at him with her bright green eyes.

“One day Marla.” Reggie patted his sister’s head before turning back to his guests. “So why are you here, church isn’t until tomorrow?” Reggie asked going to sit down at the table they had already made themselves comfortable at.

“Well darling, your parents asked us to come and talk to you before you meet Alexander for the first time tomorrow. We all just want to be sure that there’s no funny business or any of that trying to convert stuff,” Mrs. Joyner set her hat down on the table smiling sweetly at him even though her words had a certain bite to them.

“Well of course not, I have a serious problem, why would I ever do that to your son?” Reggie asked as seriously as he could muster and they must have bought it because she was reaching across the table to hold his wrist and Mr. Joyner was looking up to God thanking Him.

“Well we must be going, we have to get our dear Alexander prepared for tomorrow, he’s going to be singing for the congregation, don’t let him know that there’s going to be two new families in church, he’ll freeze up faster than a popsicle in Antarctica,” Mrs. Joyner said smiling squeezing his wrist one more time before getting up. “You have a good day now!” she called back to him as they exited.

“I don’t wanna be like them anymore, they’re rude,” Marla said and Reggie nodded in agreement patting her head.

“Go pick out an outfit for tomorrow,” Reggie said pushing her off as the phone rang. “You’ve got Reggie.”

“Did the Joyner’s come visit?” Luke’s unmistakable voice came through the receiver.

“Yup, they don’t want me to convert their precious son,” Reggie said faking the southern drawl that Mrs. Joyner oozed.

“Oh my lordy that would be a tragedy,” Luke mimicked back to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I just wanted to check that you and Marla were ok.”

“We’re great Luke, I’ll see you then.” The line went dead and Reggie sighed looking up at his ceiling in wonder. “Tomorrow can be a good day.”

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alanna-artroid · 4 years

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Cookies I Have From Cookie Run So Far! (And My Thoughts On Them)

Alright, I’ve gotten pretty far in Cookie Run: Oven Break, and I felt the need to share my thoughts on all the adorable cookies I’ve unlocked so far. So far, I have 50/100, so I’d say I’m making good progress. On to the list!

GingerBrave: The bravest boy. If this was a show, he’d clearly be the main character. I recently got him a little suit, so now he’s a gentleman!

GingerBright: Sweet little lady. She looks like she’d be nice to get a coffee with or help you with homework. I definitely ship her with Brave, no doubt about it.

Strawberry Cookie: Precious baby! She’s super shy and I am compelled to protect her at all costs. Her pet is also a Tamagotchi, so she must be a gamer! Sweet!

Skater Cookie: HE WAS A SK8TER BOI! SHE SAID SEE YA LATER BOI!

Zombie Cookie: This is one of the fastest zombies I’ve ever seen. They seem like a nice guy overall though.

Princess Cookie: Heck yes, a mischievous princess! Those are the best! I love her dress and hair bows. I bet she just pretends to get kidnapped for the lols.

Pilot Cookie: Is it just me, or is this little old man smaller than most of the other cookies? Whatever, he’s got a cute mustache and he’s adorable. Go and fly!

Vampire Cookie: As a vampire nerd, I immediately adored this guy. I will gladly give him grape juice and chill with him under the light of the moon.

Gumball Cookie: Is this was Splatoon is like? This boi has a lot of chaotic energy and I like him.

Pistachio Cookie: I love this warrior woman so dang much. Look at that minty green hair! Her power is also SUPER helpful. She a speedy knight!

Pancake Cookie: HE’S A FLYING SQUIRREL! HE’S TOO CUTE I CAN’T EVEN! LET ME HUG THIS TINY CHILD!!!

Peppermint Cookie: Sweet baby. Good baby. My mom would probably adore this baby. (She loves mint and she’s not even a big sweets person.)

Muscle Cookie: As a lesbian, I’m not into big abs and muscles, but he’d probably be a good gym partner. Don’t mess with him is all I can say.

Cherry Cookie: Little Red Riding Hood got some bombs! I hope she and Gumball can go cause chaos on the weekends.

Hero Cookie: Precious nerdy boi with science! I saw his Island of Memories intro and his bond with Jellyco Cube is just the sweetest thing! Follow your superhero dreams, my baby!

Fairy Cookie: I didn’t know Tinkerbell was in this game! Also, I got her a bee costume and that looks super cute on her. Love her hair bun.

Werewolf Cookie: ULTIMATE FLOOF! Doggo here has a lot of angst and I worry for him. Maybe Vampire Cookie can teach him to chill? That’d be nice.

Rockstar Cookie: Oh, the songs I could sing right here. High tier rocker boy. Loving that flowing white hair. Rock on, buddy!

Soda Cookie: Go-to starter for my Breakout runs. I love him very much, he’s super cute! Let me go to the beach with this righteous dude!

Dark Enchantress Cookie: Oooooh, she is GORGEOUS!!! I love her design~! I’ll be sure to invite her to any fancy balls I might have, as to avoid any Maleficent scenarios with this savage woman.

Moon Rabbit Cookie: My spirit animal! I love how she constantly munches while she runs. This girl is such a mood for me. Cute little bunny ears~!

Space Doughnut: Awww, look at this alien dork! Their design is very cute, and I love how their expression of >:3.

Macaron Cookie: Such a sweetie pie! Why must they all be so adorable?! She’s a little drummer girl! That is too precious! Look at her dress and hat!!!

Pink Choco Cookie: She reminds me of a show I watched when I was younger. It was about a space girl, does anyone remember it? This girl will save the day, I can tell!

Avocado Cookie: Strong girl on the loose! My pun-loving friends would adore this cookie. And she’s a blacksmith, which is always cool.

Whipped Cream Cookie: Elegant ballerino!! He’s definitely one of my favorites! Such a beautiful boi~! I love his design so much, and he’s very useful. <3 <3 <3

Blackberry Cookie: Yeeees! Gothic girl for the win! She is SO dang pretty! I am WEAK for gothic lolitas, and she even has ghost buddies! I bet she’ll love spooky games like Luigi’s Mansion and Hollow Knight.

Lemon Cookie: Edgy boi is trying way too hard to be Shadow the Hedgehog. I mean, can you SMILE for once dude? It’ll take me a while to bond with this guy.

Salt Cookie: He strikes me as a wise old man you’d find meditating at the top of a mountain, or in his case on a boat in the ocean. I bet he has lots of knowledge to share.

Squid Ink Cookie: AWWWWW, SWEET BABY SQUID!!! Guys, I think they might be my favorite! They’re so squishy and mighty, and they need all my love and huggles!!! Don’t be sad baby, I’ll be your friend! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Lime Cookie: Beach girl! She’s like Lemon Cookie, but slightly nicer! I really like her hair and beach ball. Very cool girl.

Ninja Cookie: FINALLY! SOMEONE WITH MORE THAN TWO JUMPS!!! I went kind of crazy with his jumping powers at first. He’s super cool. Not sure why his pet is a ghost though.

Pomegranate Cookie: Oooh, I love Asian fashion~! Look how fancy and elegant she is! Her story concerns me, and I’m worried about her.

Angel Cookie: Good cookie, sweet cookie. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. It looks like they trust the devil boy, which is beyond kind of them. I love it when angels get along with demons. Defy angle roles!!!

Devil Cookie: Speaking of, they’re a cute little bean too! I love the naughty demon trope, and this cutie is so mischievous! Call Angel your “rival” all you want, I’m still shipping you dorks.

Roll Cake Cookie: Imagine, if you will, the world’s biggest game of Whack-A-Mole! With that hammer, this boy would win without question.

Popcorn Cookie: I’d be happy to go with this girl to the movie theater! Also, I love how she had popcorn for hair buns. She seems like she’d be up for a fun time!

Carrot Cookie: Oh my lordy, her ponytails are carrots. The artists for this game are so clever. Strong but tiny farmer, I approve.

Ion Cookie Robot: Yes! A robot! I love robots, and this cookie is no exception! Definitely one of my favorites, up there with Whipped Cream Cookie. They’re super powerful too, and REALLY useful in Breakout and Trophy runs.

Dino-Sour Cookie: Gee Dino-Sour, how come Devsisters let you have two pets? Very cool punk boy. I can see him going to Rockstar Cookie’s concert.

Plum Cookie: Aren’t plums purple though? This boy is one tough cookie! Look at his karate moves! Honestly, I thought he was a girl at first. Why must these boys be so pretty?!

Yogurt Cream Cookie: PRINCE ALI! FABULOUS HE! ALI ABABWUA~!

Alchemist Cookie: Look, it’s Twilight Sparkle! Apparently, Vampire boy is her brother? I really like her hair braids(?), I just wish she’d loosen up a bit. She seems like a nice girl.

Roguefort Cookie: Aaaah yeah, elegant thief! This cookie is the coolest! I love this aesthetic so much~! Blue cheese has never been so fancy. Just look at this charmer, stealing hearts!

Pitaya Dragon Cookie: OOOOOhohoho! THIS is what I’m TALKING about! Look at this beast, they’re GLORIOUS! They’ve probably killed a bunch of people, but They’re crazy powerful and I adore them.

Knight Cookie: This guy is SO much fun to play as! He just won’t stop, he’s too fast!!! I couldn’t stop laughing once I found out just how fast this knight could go! Somehow he controls better than Pistachio? I don’t know, I love him!

Birthday Cake Cookie: TOO PRECIOUS FOR WORDS! SHE’S SO DANG CUTE!!! Also, her “Bonus Time” changes to “Happy B Day” and I... I just can’t! She’s the sweetest thing!!! <3 <3 <3

Cocoa Cookie: Awww, look at this sweet baby! I wanna snuggle her! Her design looks so warm and comfy. I have plenty of hot chocolate to give her. <3

Raspberry Mousse Cookie: Ah yes, the pretty boy that got me into this game in the first place. Along with Squid Ink, he’s probably my favorite. There’s a reason he has the highest affection so far with me. I just adore his design, and he’s very powerful! I will ALWAYS have him ready for Breakout and Trophy Runs. Well worth all the hype. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Rose Cookie: Finally, we have this lovely lady. Everyone is shipping her with Raspberry, and rightfully so. She is a high-quality woman that makes gay men straight and straight girls lesbian. Look at that outfit! And those dance moves!

Aaaand that’s everybody for now! I’ll update this once I get more Cookies. So far, I like most of them a lot. Anybody got some favorites they’d like to share? I’m still new to this game, but I’m happy to hear what others have to say!

UPDATE 1:

I went back and fixed all the gender mistakes I made. (I’m so sorry! D:) Also, I got a few more cookies! So here we go!

Walnut Cookie: Precious detective baby! The newest update is only making her cuter! Probably the shortest of the bunch, and I adore her design~! <3

Cinnamon Cookie: Super useful power so far, and they have a really cool cape! Those cards are very handy! (I promise I’ll pay attention to the genders of these cookies from now on! I don’t want to misgender anyone again!)

Sparkling Cookie: Oooh, a sparkling cider cookie! That’s honestly the only boozy thing I enjoy drinking. He is super classy and seems like the life of the party. He strikes me as a Great Gatsby kind of host.

Moonlight Cookie: OOOOOOOH~! LOOK at this GODDESS! I love the nighttime/dreamy aesthetic. This girl has Luna’s hair and a wizard’s outfit, high tier cookie!

White Choco Cookie: This game sure likes it’s knights, huh? This girl is a fine lady and apparently, she attracts all the lesbians. Can’t say I blame those girls, I do love that hairstyle.

Spinach Cookie: Aaand the newest cookie to hit the scene, this girl! I have never met someone so dedicated to vegetables, so I have to applaud that. She’s a super sweet girl, and I hope we find who stole her precious vegetables!!!

UPDATE 2:

More Cookies! It’s been a while since I’ve updated this, so I have quite a bit to share. On to the new ones!

Mustard Cookie: Look at this punk girl! Street artist on the loose in the streets! I always admire people and characters in this style, so I’m supporting this rebel all the way!

Herb Cookie: Now THIS guy is everywhere! It seems the fandom really likes him, and I can see why. He seems like a very nice boy, with a sweet plant baby. I like the leaf hair, very cool.

Sea Fairy Cookie: I love how everything on her flows. Her hair, her dress, she’s so beautiful~! I will say though, Legendaries are SO DANG HARD to level up and get affection with! WHY?!

Cream Puff Cookie: Awwww, look at this precious baby girl~! Look at her soft hair and little dress! I almost feel bad running with the super cute ones, I don’t want them to get hurt!

Matcha Cookie: Oooooh, all these ancient-looking cookies have the coolest designs! She’s probably insane, darkness will do that to ya, but she seems harmless so I like her!

Ice Candy Cookie: This chick could crush me like a grape and I don’t know how to feel about that. Hopefully, she’s only savage on the ice rink. I do NOT want to mess with this girl.

Cherry Blossom Cookie: Awww, look how pretty she is~! Cherry blossoms are always so lovely, and this girl embodies that. She has a PARASOL for crying out loud, I CAN’T EVEN!!

Grapefruit Cookie: This game sure likes sports, huh? She seems really cool, I love her colors! Do you think she’d play Skate 3? Hopefully, she’d get a laugh out of that game.

Pirate Cookie: This guy has been a long time coming. I’ve been curious about him since the Breakout episode. He’s pretty neat, I appreciate how he naturally comes with an extra revive.

Kumiho Cookie: Cool! A Kitsune! I love the spin on the concept of cookies. Let this marshmallow fox live out her reverse-furry dream! I’m loving her design too, look at that hair!

Marshmallow Cookie: Oh cute! Another marching band cookie! According to her story, she and Macaron had a falling out. I hope they can reconcile and be friends again. :(

Dark Choco Cookie: WE’VE REACHED MAXIMUM EDGE! WITH OREO SHOULDER PADS!!! Interesting how he’s still trying to be a hero, which is a nice spin on the “I have evil powers so now I’m evil” trope. Here’s hoping he stays strong.

Fire Spirit Cookie: Ah yes, the classic lord of fire. A staple for any fantasy story that includes the elements. Again, it’s impossible to get the affection for these guys.

Mala Sauce Cookie: Yay! I got Pitaya’s girlfriend! I always love it when there’s a tribe/society of warriors and the WOMAN is the strongest one there. Heck yes! This warrior lady is a badass!

Firecracker Cookie: I didn’t know I was invited to a rave party! Love the neon colors on this cookie, that’s something this game really excels at.

UPDATE 3:

I’ve reached 90 cookies! I’m on the homestretch!!!

Cheesecake Cookie: OH MY LORDY LOOK HOW FANCY SHE IS! I adore her already! Fancy ladies are the best ladies!

Kiwi Cookie: This game REALLY likes sports. He looks cool, can’t complain.

Yoga Cookie: Awww, a pretzel is trying to be loose! I’ve done yoga a few times, and it is very good for your body. Nice colors, simple design, nice.

Dr. Wasabi Cookie: I’d reference some mad scientist, but I know a lot of them so we’d be here for a while. Her combi generator has been very helpful.

Tiger Lily Cookie: IT’S THE EYE OF THE TIGER IT’S THE THRILL OF THE NIGHT, RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVALS!

Chili Pepper Cookie: Uh oh, this one’s a troublemaker! I really like her hair, it’s very bright. Secure your pockets around this chick, that’s for sure.

Millennial Tree Cookie: These cookies are too pretty, I keep thinking they’re girls! This guy is so beautiful~ truly a being of nature!

DJ Cookie: Ooooh, I love her design~. Rainbow colors will win me over every time. And look! She’s wearing a Bi Pride shirt! This girl is awesome! I like how her special power is basically tiny Guitar Hero.

Snow Sugar Cookie: Soft baby, sweet baby. Looks very cuddly. Their level was very helpful during Sandwich Cookie’s event in getting frozen jellies. Those blue bears aren’t easy to come by!

Fig Cookie: CENTAUR! I wasn’t expecting one of those here! She’s such a sweetie pie~. Since everything and anything is allowed in this game, can we get mermaids or harpies next?

Cotton Candy Cookie: PRECIOUS BABY! She’s so gosh darn cute, I can’t take it! I personally can relate to falling in love with things so easily. And there are official plushies of her now! ONE DAY I WILL BRING HER HOME!

Purple Yam Cookie: Bro needs a chill pill. Not ONCE have I seen this guy smile yet. And I thought Lemon needed to lighten up. Milk seems to care about him though, so I guess he can’t be that bad.

Milk Cookie: The softest of warriors! Look how cute he is~! I adore him! Plus he really shines in the stories. I can only assume Yam is his boyfriend or something. Am I wrong about that?

Cyborg Cookie: Hey! I saw the storybook for this one! I’m surprised I haven’t unlocked this “Aloe Cookie” yet. Are they still in this game? I can’t find them on the chart. Anyway, Cyborg is cool. Very nice design.

Mango Cookie: Newest baby! I love him, and would love to learn all about the islands from him! I’m gonna say it, I already ship him with Ananas Cookie, no questions asked.

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #list #alanna #alanna_artroid

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sky-and-sometimes-others · 6 years

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I keep my promises!

yAKA a live blog of this fic: like, reblog, follow by MandaloreArtist

Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve read it so my reactions should be fresh, and I’m in a mood for Prinxiety tonight! Let’s do this.

Right off the bat I love me some Ace!Logan. I’m ace and it just feels right.

AND ACE PATTON I’M SO SPOILED LOVE IT

I’m 90% sure Starbound is fictional but canon gays? SIGN ME UP

“ To say any more would spoil stuff, so go read the books and listen to the musical and avoid the movie like the Black Plague “ step by step instructions on how to join the Percy Jackson fandom.

It took me a solid 3 minutes to figure out what MYOB means because I am Not Hip With the Lingo

Patton talks to Virg the way I talk to all of my friends

I loOoOoOve BMC frick me up. I also quite enjoy Falsettos.

“ infinitesimal knowledge “ *whispers* it’s begun

- Short break where I had to go watch the end of Penn State vs. Ohio State with my dad. Go Bucks! -

Ah twenty questions. I have used this to flirt with several online crushes.

LOGI-WAN KENOBI I’M WHEEZING

“ also, you have friends? “

“square up cutie” STOP

“ specs “ vs. “ eyeshadow^3 “

HIS LAST NAME IS SPIDER

ROMAN YOU BEAUTIFUL IDIOT

“ Live a little, Logan! “

“ You can’t do if you’re dead. “

“ Oh I meant by me “ COLD AS ICE

Logan’s favorite character is Jerry shut UP

“ ...I am going away from you. I have no destination in mind. I simply need to exit your presence. “

Chuck and Gertrude are my favorite Sander Sides guys

“ Wow I can’t believe my stunning good looks actually killed a man “ I’m WHEEZING

25 MINUTES OF FAWNING OVER ROMAN AWWWW

Practicing the cello at 6am what a power move.

Logan is the epitome of “one black coffee” in this fic.

The “message pat/fine/hey/oh he’s asleep” interaction is pure comedy

VIRGIL JUST USED A SELF REFERENTIAL LAST NAME PUN I THINK

HIS LAST NAME IS BRAVA RIGHT AND HE SAID “brava for your attempt” VIRG ARE YOU SERIOUS

...Koshekh is from WTNV

“ chaotic neutral baby :) “

Patton THREW THE IPAD

virgil you SMOOTH SON OF A BEESTING

...(I also like Star Trek more but that’s a personal preference)...

I would 900% call someone to laugh at them for 5 minutes straight

“I gotta gay” YEAH ME TOO BUDDY

VIRGIL NO DON’T STOP DOING ART NO VIRG

oH MY GOSH NOW RO IS POSTING LESS BECAUSE HE’S SO SAD ABOUT VIRG I’M SO FRICKING SAD

HAHAHAHA HE THREW THE PHONE

They’re all so Jew-y in this and as a Jew I appreciate it but it does feel kinda weird for the characters.

All that pep talk and then “ how was your day? “ Nailed it.

“ I swear, sometimes you’re just too gay to live. “ BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK

Veertrash71 is meeeeeee

“take my pet photos and leave”

“babe”

HONESTLY MOOD THAT’S FLIRTING RIGHT? WOULDN’T KNOW BUT I THINK SO

I’m so sorry for how much of this has been me just quoting your fic back to you

????? He shipped him brownies? They obviously live in the same city

Also Lo calling Pat his boyfriend gives me a fuzzy feeling in my HEART

Ahh, a good ol’ reference war.

“ You utter and complete dunce! You’ve driven him away! “ me addressing me

God I’m so ALONE

“ never knew that you were gay???

truly shocked “

“wait aren’t you lactose intolerant”

Awww he surprised him with a pin I’m CRYING

LOGAN FINALLY KEYSMASHED HE REALLY IS A GAY

“ HATE them? H A T E them? H A T E T H E M ? ! “ I can hear it in his voice from Crofters the Musical (I think that’s the one it’s like 2 am forgive me)

“ aaaAAAAWWWWW! Baabeeeeee, you have a crush on me?! “

“ we’re dating, andy “

Where the heck are their parents how old are these people?? College aged?? I’m so curious I have no idea how old they’re supposed to be.

I’m SHRIEKING their all SO CUTE TOGETHER

Awwww Ro feeling insecure because of being sick and it was such a small moment but so good

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS OH MY GOSH THEY LIVE SO CLOSE THEY’RE AT THE SAME BOOKSHOP LOGAN GO SAY HI GO SAY HI GO MEET YOUR BOYFRIEND GO

“ fracture a femur “ Thanks! I hate it. If anyone ever said that to me before a show I would feel very cursed.

Dear lord 5 months and they’ve already said I love you. God I wish that was me.

AVAILABLE FOR ONE SHOW ONLY LORDY LORDY OF COURSE IT’S PACKED I’VE NEVER BEEN TO A ONE NIGHT ONLY THAT WASN’T

How did they get the rights to Falsettos

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW PAT AND LO’S FIRST MEETING AWWWWWWWWW

“ you’re allergic to nuts “

“ ...it’s good!! “ Oh Pat

IT’S HIM IT’S HIM IT’S HIM HE BUMPED INTO HIM I’M SURE OF IT

Ro fixed his makeup I’m love

THEY KISSED !!!!!!!!!!

"Um, so I think I just saw Roman."

Logan tilted his head. "How do you know?"

"I made out with him in the doorway to the bathroom." sounds like a good sign it might’ve been him

Listen anytime you get to point at the audience during a show you GOTTA point at your friends it’s a rule.

He was answered with a smirk. “Well, first—” Oooooooooooohhhhhhhh

ROMAN DIPPED VIRGIL THIS IS THE FAN SERVICE I DESERVE

"Well, yes, but a promise is a promise! Fulfill your oath, or you shall feel my wrath!"

"Spicy."

"What??"

"Nothing."

THIS. IS. THE. FAN. SERVICE. I. DESERVE.

“ To even it up more, we must all eat marshmallows. ” I mean that’s literally logic right there can’t argue with that.

“I can’t believe Logan is dead,” Roman whispered in his ear. < Made me laugh out loud

This whole fic is just so fricking good. It’s the EXACT kind of fluff I need. Great job!!!

#sander sides #prinxiety #Logicality #i also swear in this so uh yeah #long post

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flibbertygigget · 6 years

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half gay ~ a bisexual snape playlist

bad reputation ~ joan jett an' i don't really care if ya think i'm strange i ain't gonna change an' i'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation

john, i’m only dancing ~ david bowie well, annie’s pretty neat, she always eats her meat joe is awful strong, bet your life he’s putting us on oh lordy, oh lordy you know i need some lovin’

rip it up ~ little richard my heart says go, go have a time, 'cause it's saturday night and i'm feelin' fine

i’m not in love ~ 10cc i like to see you, but then again that doesn't mean you mean that much to me so if i call you, don't make a fuss don't tell your friends about the two of us

piece of my heart ~ janis joplin oh, oh, take it! take another little piece of my heart now, baby oh, oh, break it! break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah

#pro snape #snapeloveposts #bisexual snape #hp playlist #playlist #hp #severus snape #joan jett #david bowie #little richard #10cc #janis joplin

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melsmemes · 6 years

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things to ruin sentence starters - part three

an assortment of lyric starters from the compilation album things to ruin: the songs of joe iconis. some content may be triggering or nsfw. pronouns can be edited freely.

the whiskey song

son of a gun

❝ got my favorite comic book about a guy who’s hand’s a hook ❞ ❝ everything he feels he hurts ❞ ❝ i can sympathize ‘cause i’m not like other guys ❞ ❝ i’ve frequently been told my hand is hard to hold ❞ ❝ get close and i run ❞ ❝ i’m a son of a gun ❞ ❝ i think a chamber’s cracked ❞ ❝ i can’t feel, i just react ❞ ❝ when you hold me tight, hold me really tight ❞ ❝ hold me crazy tight ❞ ❝ i’ll panic and i’ll bite, freak out and i’ll fight, lash out and ignite ❞ ❝ i’m not a real man ❞ ❝ i wish my trigger could withstand the pressure of a gentle, hopeful hand ❞ ❝ even the most mild clutch is much too much ❞ ❝ such a touch would detonate explosions right on cue ❞ ❝ that’s just what i do, and that’s a frightening thought ❞ ❝ try to take it slow ❞ ❝ focus on the flow, it’s hard to focus though ❞ ❝ start feeling the choke, just ignore the joke ❞ ❝ she said she loved him, he attacked her ❞ ❝ i’m not a human ❞ ❝ bang bang, you’re done ❞

dodge ball

❝ i’m waiting for ___ to call my name ❞ ❝ ___’s sorta like a friend, well, enough to not pick me too close to the end ❞ ❝ before i know it, i’lll be chosen from the waiting line ❞ ❝ i’d like to get picked first, but up to third is fine ❞ ❝ anyway, i feel real good, this’ll go real well ❞ ❝ dodge ball’s great and dodge ball’s fun ❞ ❝ you never sweat ‘cause you never run ❞ ❝ i mean it’s not like i expected to get picked first ❞ ❝ i’m all not the worst ❞ ❝ it’s just get out of the way, hide so they don’t see, that’s real easy for me ❞ ❝ dodge ball’s...yeah...and dodge ball’s...um... ❞ ❝ it’s sorta cool, but it’s sorta dumb ❞ ❝ there’s only three of us left ❞ ❝ of the three i hope he sees that i’m the least lame ❞ ❝ i mean i know i’m weird and i fumble and choke ❞ ❝ that’s gotta count for something ❞ ❝ maybe i’ll pretend i’m sick and go to the nurse ❞ ❝ if i don’t stay, they’ll call me gay and that’ll be worse ❞ ❝ i wish i had study hall or that i’d run alone, would’ve skipped if i’d known ❞ ❝ i am scared, and i hate gym ❞ ❝ did he pick me ? no... ❞ ❝ who said dodge ball was okay ? man, it wasn’t me ❞

albuquerque anyway

❝ my mom told me, is it true ? ❞ ❝ when school starts, what am i gonna do ? ❞ ❝ let’s go to the docks. if that seagull’s still there, we can hit it with rocks ❞ ❝ why are you leaving new jersey ? ❞ ❝ nah, i’m not crying, it’s just my dust allergy ❞ ❝ no, don’t think i care. i don’t care. man, i don’t care at all ❞ ❝ i’ve got other friends, and you’re not that special ❞ ❝ you ain’t shit to me, can’t you see ? ❞ ❝ where in hell is albuquerque anyway ? ❞ ❝ are you taking your car? are you taking your newt ? ❞ ❝ are you taking your half-jewish cousin who’s cute ? ❞ ❝ will you come to my party when i turn ten ? will you visit a lot or never again ? ❞ ❝ remember the time you swallowed that penny ? ❞ ❝ remember the time you stole that microscope kit ? ❞ ❝ tomorrow my mom’s taking me to the zoo. i’ll buy a stuffed monkey and name it after you. if i do that when you leave, can i come too ? ❞ ❝ if the answer is no, then it’s no ❞

just means

❝ it’s not that i don’t like you, ‘cause i really really do ❞ ❝ you’re funny and smart, and you got shitloads of heart ❞ ❝ hell, i don’t deserve someone as cool as you ❞ ❝ just ‘cause i don’t wanna go on another date doesn’t mean that i don’t think that you’re totally great ❞ ❝ i’m just getting over a suckass relationship ❞ ❝ i wish that you’d stop crying ❞ ❝ the waiter’s sorta looking at us weird ❞ ❝ you’re taking this a bit too hard ❞ ❝ just because i don’t think that the two of us click, doesn’t mean you creep me out and make me physically sick ❞ ❝ i’m just through with guys in general ❞ ❝ so, like, i think i’m gonna go now ❞ ❝ i gotta get up at eleven tomorrow ❞ ❝ it was nice to meet you, tell ___ i said ‘hi’ ❞ ❝ it was wicked fun, really, i’m not gonna lie ❞ ❝ it’s not ‘cause you’re fat, or anything like that, no ❞ ❝ it’s not because of you that i decided to go ❞ ❝ just because i’m standing here and saying goodbye doesn’t mean that i don’t think you’re a super great guy ❞ ❝ it just means that i’m a lesbian ❞ ❝ i’m a big ole lesbian ! ❞

#sentence starters #rp starters #musical rp

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wandchoosesthewizard · 6 years

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Eurovision 2018 sentence starters

Are you already desperate to relive the glories and failures of Eurovision 2018? Are you American and wondering what the fuck just happened when Europe lost it’s collective shit and stole tumblr from you for approx. 4 hours? Never fear - I have the meme for you! Collected from my dash / IMs last night (feat. the words of rosewrists, somewhat-managed-mischief, xmusiisms && myself).

Feel free to change country names to human names...

Uhm, lots of swearing and anger directed at complete and utter bastard traitors countries that probably don’t deserve it. It’s all in good fun, never fear. I’ve also (mostly) not fixed typos / spelling / capitalisation bc I think it’s funnier to present them in their true format.

I FORBID

I’m untainted

we’re bottom

I NEED glitter

get the brexit axe

I’m gay for [estonia]

It's all rigged anyhow

[the irish] gave us squat

Did [Australia] traitor us?

is he applauding himself

[Cyprus] had some I think

Okay I lied how’s it going?

get that dramatic shit in there

oh my god someone stop him

what are you hiding [romania]

I'm still mad Ngl How're you?

Where the fuck is the glitter??

Simply out of tradition of course

Look at the beautiful ginger boy

PLEASE LET US NOT BE LAST

hey did i mention I love [montenegro]

she can fuck off [europe] can fuck off

Well other than BETRAYED - I'm fine

So much pink hair dont care this year

I hope [Lordi] make their yearly cameo

but we were backstabbed by [ireland] so

have we let [america] in again this year?

hes gonna harvest the blood of the losers

You’re literally just saying countries at me

and I've never felt so connected to you all

did we ever actually GET ANY GLITTER??

fuck everybody, we can make it on our own!

i don't understand what game is being played

GOD BLESS MY PLUS SIZE PARTY QUEEN

Well fuck [France] and fuck the [eastern block]

where the FUCK IS MY GLITTER [PORTUGAL]

HOW FUCKIGN DARE?? They are GROUNDED.

Fuck [Australia] they’re not coming back next year

Warning warning - do not engage I am tipsy / drunk

[portugal] just got murdered at their own party lmaoooo

I didn’t come here for country music [netherlands] fuck off

this year’s [eurovision] was arranged by a bunch of normies

im not interested in cowboys unless they're GAY COWBOYS

we all know a leprechaun enchanted them to make them do it!

Apparently due to BETRAYAL I need to [drop patrick as a muse]

IN THE CORNER. with [america]. Think about what you have done

if you don’t put out with some crazy shit, no one will ever remember you

JOKES ON YOU FUCKERS [THE UK] ISN’T COMING LAST THIS YEAR

[LITHU]FUCKINGU[ANIA] IS DOING BETTER HAN US??? Fuck [Lithuania]

‘good evening all you humans out there’ sounds like something an alien would say

You let those fucks in for your 60th They hang about for three years and fuck your shit up

#⌜👀⌟ Weasleys Wizard Wheezes || Meme⌜📫⌟#rp meme #inbox meme #sentence meme #ask meme

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princessparadoxical · 6 years

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The livestream kept cutting out due to shoddy Australian internet (curse you, Malcolm Turnbull) but I honestly lost track of the number of times Dirk was tempting fate? Saying the universe doesn’t work a certain way only for the universe to actually come through when he least expected or wanted it?

I never thought one of my fondest wishes would be for Dirk to be able to finish a diner meal without something needlessly dramatic happening, and yet. Please. Let him drink a milkshake or eat some pancakes without getting metaphorically twatted in the face by the cosmos. He’s useless as a detective if he’s malnourished and sleep-deprived, lordy may.

“I stopped existing a while ago” is morbidly funny, but even then I just wanted to cry. Psychic vampire banter at its best and most heartbreaking. But at least there’s light down there, because I’d been having nightmare visions of them all spending two months in complete darkness and silence and it was doing a number on my personal sanity.

I know that we’d already established Susie’s villain status but christ, selling out her own son to the police and then trying to use him as an excuse to not kill someone is some pretty brutal whiplash. “But what if someone gets hurt” isn’t going to fool anyone, Susie. You’re attractive but also you killed a dog and also some people so eh, please leave town now.

Dirk trading away police evidence for the #aesthetic is the most hilarious thing ever, but also can we please have a minute silence for the loss of the collarbone shirt. Samuel Barnett looked fine as hell in it. I’m going to miss it deeply. The end of an era. Let the mourning begin. Get the twitter trend happening.

Collarbones.

I didn’t like Todd agreeing with Dirk when he called his powers “stupid flighty bullshit” but I’m willing to cut them both a bit of slack, it’s been a long and stressful week, there are dead bodies everywhere. But this is a version of Dirk Gently that I can imagine standing on the roof screaming “you utter bastard” while shaking his fist at the night sky (like in the novels). It’s a tragic development.

Why am I so charmed by Panto calling her “Bartine” though?

Farah’s phone has to be bugged. It’s the only thing that makes sense with this particular storyline.

I’m assuming that the water cleaned Amanda’s face because she’s suddenly 35% less eyeliner and it’s taking a while for me to come to terms with being able to see her face again. Her “I am the consciousness?” conversation sounded like it should’ve been taking place when they were both getting stoned after a first-year college philosophy class. She’s trying to roll with the punches but they just won’t fucking stop coming.

... but also the Moloch symbol was clearly visible and I’m now a deeply concerned bean. Does this mean that Bergsberg is in danger? Wendimoor? Blackwing? What has been woken?

... but also I’m here for Amanda being the new Forest Witch.

I fully understand why Panto is beginning to crack, even if I’m worried about what it means for the holistic detective squad. He’s in a world he doesn’t understand, with people who have locked him up, trying his best to save his world even when it’s full of people who want him dead. His only friend is a piranha in the stream of creation. This has been a rough week for him, all things considered. He and Bart need a million more doughnuts and another dance party.

Dirk’s impression of himself was simultaneously the best and the worst thing ever, and we already know that his current accent isn’t the one he was born with so I’m assuming that it took a long time to develop from 1940s Gay British Pantomime to what he has now. But oh hello cracks, you keep getting bigger and bigger and I keep getting more and more worried. Is he sleeping yet? Eating properly?

The boy confirming that “at first the dreams were a gift” makes me so much more suspicious of Mona. I still adore her but the actress confirmed that the character is easily manipulated and I’m wondering whether she’s acting of her own accord or if she’s serving a higher purpose.

Hobbs’ concerned face when they were loading the boy into the ambulance was pure enough to cure cancer and also world hunger. Why can’t I just like assholes? Why do I always fall for the nice ones?

Someone needs to do a video edit of the Rowdy 3 coming through the portal set to The Boys Are Back In Town.

The fact that the Mage was so out of his depth in the scene with the wall mural throws out a lot of my previous theories? He looked threatened and actually scared and I’m not sympathetic in the slightest because he’s the major villain of the season. But I hate it when villains are unsettled because it always makes them 100% less predictable and more dangerous. That’s the exact opposite of what I wanted.

“I wanna fuck everybody here” oh man, I have never related so much to a single line in my entire life, how are they all so dang attractive?

And that’s why it was important that Hobbs deputized Farah, because he’s going to be out of commission for a few episodes (living in denial is a blast and a half, I can highly recommend it) and Farah’s finally going to show the world what she’s made of. Which is sugar and spice and fucking guns.

Rule one of questing, you guys: DON’T SPLIT THE FUCKING PARTY. Have none of you played Dungeons & Dragons?

I adored the Todd/Farah interactions and I’ll fight anyone to defend them.

Dirk on the dance floor looked like a cat having static balloons rubbed all over it, he was that uncomfortable. But also that conversation on the dancefloor was like someone went onto AO3 and pulled out everything we ever wanted, it was so nice to see them all having a nice time even if it took actual fucking sorcery to get them there. Max confirmed that it was indeed a love spell and oh, you beautiful tropical fish, it’s almost enough to make up for that final scene.

You could tattoo “it’s a lot of moving pieces and I’m getting overwhelmed” to my face and I’d thank you at this stage. But I’m fully here for Farah trying to explain away the boy’s violence with “he’s had a traumatic time” and Dirk rolling his eyes so hard they could be seen from space. Dirk’s had a lifetime of experimentation and trauma and christ, his coping mechanisms aren’t the best but you don’t see him trying to strangle anyone. Give the sunshine bean some more credit, guys.

The only thing giving me comfort right now is the thought of Friedkin’s face when he discovers that yet more subjects have disappeared into thin air.

Get wrecked, Friedkin. You weren’t even in that episode and I’m pissed at you.

#dirk gently #dghda #my contributions #I'll have more thoughts later but holy shit

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marlyn-hallow · 7 years

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A Little (Lot) Bit About Me and This Blog Thing

First off, I don’t exactly want to be a liar, so Marlyn Hallow is not my real name -- for safety reasons. I don’t fancy stalkers or being stalked. Second, no, I do not plan on sharing my real name, that would just defeat the whole purpose. Third, I am not 17 years old, although, I am also not a 60 year old pervert. For some truth, my age is within 2 years of the age of 17, so feel free to assume. I’ll never correct you. Forth, yes, that is a picture of me from the side. Photoshop and picture credits go to me, myself, and I (and no, not the song, sorry guys). Finally, everything I write is/was never taken from someone else, so that main aspect about me is truthful on here.

Here’s a little more about me:

My biggest pet peevs are texting & driving and grammatically incorrect things.

I’m 5′4″ (or am I?)

I weigh.... .00000000000000000000091116173% in lbs of the earth’s mass. Come on, if you really want to know, you must work for it.

My eye color is brown.

My hair color is changing.

My favorite color is... ask me if you want to know.

My favorite book is any book... ask me if you want to know which I’d recommend or which are my top 10 favorites, I can’t have just one.

I have a love/hate relationship with socializing. Some days I’m an introvert, some days I’m an extrovert.

I like public speaking.

I love reading.

I love being by myself. Being alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely.

I kind-of like shopping.

I have one dog, an Airedale, who is probably secretly gay (no hate), is the most vocal dog, and has the worst farts. His name is Baxter.

I have one fish, a Beta, and he is blue, purple, and green. He is feisty; I used to have 3 shrimp in a 5 gallon tank with him, they were doing great for a few months, then all three shrimp died within a week of each other, so I’m blaming the Beta. He is also very demanding and egotistical, but otherwise a good tank mate for only himself. His name is Linguine.

I love the Spanish language, and I’d say that I know enough of the language that if I have to talk to a native speaker, I could get my point across. I’m also going into my fifth year of taking the language as a foreign language class. At this point, my high school has this as a college course.

I love everything about school, except getting up early and some of the people.

I want to be an aerospace engineer and am currently in a program partnered with NASA, so I’m almost there, not just saying that to be cool. (BTW, dear God, it’s so hard, what people are doing in this program. Be thankful that there are people smart enough and willing to do that job, because I am.)

I am lazy. (no shame)

I own a Range Rover Evoque and it is lime green (don’t think that is the actual name) and I am very proud of it.

And I just realized that this post is going to be very long and I sound really boring and stuck up. I promise I smile. And I try to be humble. And nice. And caring. I swear to you, if you’re still reading this, I’m not mean. I do not judge (unless you’re a murderer or (real talk) rapist or animal abuser, then get out of here please, I don’t want you).

I am a violinist.

I am Caucasian.

I was born and raised in the good ol’ US of A.

I have a love like no other for Italian food.

I also love, love, love Tiramisu. If you want my age, send me a Tiramisu the size of the empire state building.

I also hate lady fingers and espresso, which is weird, because if you’ve ever made Tiramisu, those two things are literally half of it.

My favorite coffee is either black over ice, or hot with milk and 3 sugars. I also hate Starbucks hot coffee and everything else, except for the iced coffee and strawberries and cream frappuccino.

My favorite tea is a tie between Earl Grey tea with sugar and English Breakfast Tea with sugar and lemon.

I live on the east coast of the USA, and that’s as close as you’re getting to my location.

I also love the idea of pen-pals, but have no idea how to even begin, so if you’re male and between the ages of 17 and 21, hit me up, yo. Lol, jk. (*breaks character**cringes at herself*) Hah, it’s not like I’m some loser who has her nose in a book 24/7 and the majority of people she talks to are girls and never gets invited to parties, ha ha. ha....ha.... oh wait.... Seriously though, those preferences are preferable, but if you are a girl and want to talk, that’s fine to. I just need a straight (but again, no hate, none at all. Love is love, spread the word, people.) guy in my life because right now, it’s so full of girlishness and disgustingly pinkness that I’m sick. Let’s talk about farts and cars and food and disgustingly gorgeous stuff with each other and give advice on the opposite gender. I’ll be your confidant and if you want, you can be mine. But, no sexual stuff/exchanges, nah uh, I ain’t about that life. Unless you just want advice, want to ask questions, want to tell me a story about some sexual adventure or horror story you had, or just any other thing like those, then okay, that’s cool. Just no engaging in sexual activities over whatever platform we are using. I’m looking for a friend, not a hookup. And now, since writing that, I might make a post about looking for a pen-pal...so, if anyone reads this and sees a post similar to this part, yes, I know I already said this. And for anyone who is wondering or hasn’t figured it out yet, I am a straight girl, but really, I promise, I can’t stress this enough, I do not judge or hate on the LGBTQ community. If you are gay, lesbian, queer, black, white, brown, purple, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, metrosexual, alien, Chinese, Japanese, Asian, Spanish, Brazilian, Italian, you get my point, I don’t care and it makes no difference to me or to how I will treat you. We are all human -- except for you, alien, I see you -- and therefore, we all deserve love and equal treatment and opportunities. Okay. There. I think I’ve finally made my point.

If you want to know anything else, feel free to ask, I wont bite. *winks weirdly like on steroids*

This Blog Thing:

This blog that I’m starting is going to be a piece of work, and this is sorta my first one. I did have one I tried to start on weebly and soon gave up after because I just forgot about it. But this one is different. Or so I keep telling myself. This one is going to be me ranting, informing whoever reads my crap about my life, and boasting about my earthly accomplishments. This post is going to be my outlet because I currently have very few. I will combust without this. So, if nobody reads this, I’m fine with it. This is for me, for my health. If people do read this and ask me questions or comment or interact with me or anything, then I guess this blog is for y’all, too, then, not just for me. This blog will also be my brain word-vomiting, so sorry in advance. I would do a vlog, but Lordy Jesus, that’s so much work that I don’t have the time nor energy to do. I am also kind of shy, so I’m trying to break out of my shell a little bit on here. So, this is me, the real me with a fake name and and a fake age. I don’t think I bruise too easily, so if you’re a hater, hate. Just not on anybody else, only me. If you do hate on someone else, I will come for you, be waiting.

So, without further ado, let me begin... tomorrow, though, I want to sleep first.

Goodnight everybody! (although I’m probably the only one reading this)

#boring #long post #weirdo #proud #truther #liar #me #personal #pen pal

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