#and should return to spending the holidays with the people she loves the most

[drusill-a]

This Christmas my only real family are my two mongrels, my yorkie, my cat and an almost empty bottle of wine stolen from my brother's wedding gifts hidden behind my bed.

#i cried for several hours last night to the extent that my head still ached for half a day afterward #there were a few mini-crying sessions during the day also #yesterday i laid out to my mother what i think #more openly than i have in many years #it started with her asking why i was upset and i replied something that she shouldnt bother #and should return to spending the holidays with the people she loves the most #aka Jarosław Kaczyński his crew and those protesting in defense of /free media/ #it would have been nice if i hadn't burst into tears immediately but you can't have it all #(all while my brother and sister-in-law tried to clean the room next door and pretended not to hear) #overall i'm shocked at how strongly the realization hit me #that nothing will ever change when it comes to my parents #and it will only get worse #they will become more hateful #more narrow-minded #more hating imagined enemies of poland constantly finding new ones #as apparently i still had some hope! #given that i cried for about two hours after i stopped yelling at my mother #(also on the verge of tears) #but i had hoped that when tvp will be turned off #a detox from that trash would bring some truth to them at least in some matters #instead they simply switched to tv republika :))) my mom promised to cut down on watching politics said on holidays #said we simply won't discuss it and watch sth else #and she and my father will be more careful not to subject me to watching rightist propaganda #and today no change they've been glued to the same channel for half the day :)))) #it hurts so damn much because they are good people #just with zero critical thinking skills so susceptible to manipulation #i was numb for years #and suddenly such a reaction is a surprise for me #i didn't know i had hope that something would ever change so it's an interesting revelation in terms of introspection #// negative // no point in this rant i'm just processing!

[angelfleurry]

may i request kyoko catching feelings please??

♡ Kyoko Kirigiri Catching Feelings!!: ♡

Thank you so much for the request, Anon!! Kyoko’s one of my more weaker characters I feel, so I’m hoping I did her justice!! I’m always happy to write, so feel free to keep requesting!!

Also I’m so sorry for the delay, college has been AT ME lately so I’m so sorry!! I did just get on to Christmas holidays by the time I uploaded this, so I should have plenty of time to take requests! Thank you, Anon! Have a wonderful day!

~

♡ There was no sudden massive realisation for her.

♡ On some random day she just so happened to have something click, but she was already suspecting she may be viewing you as more than platonically.

♡ She honestly just started piecing it together after a certain point.

♡ She began to realise that there was a reason she gravitated towards you, a reason she felt so inclined to spend time with you, a reason she seemed to trust you more than she did other people.

♡ It didn’t even surprise her by the time she became fully aware.

♡ She managed to keep her stoic aura, and she was more than capable of keeping herself composed around you, but behind closed doors in her own company she was not okay.

♡ She was definitely becoming frustrated in all honesty, deep down.

♡ It had nothing to do with you, she just was.

♡ She’d pace around her room, absorbed in her head, all of her emotions erupting within her rather than making their way out.

♡ There was hardly anything to mull over. She knew she loved you and she knew what she’d likely have to do, but it was just the process.

♡ She fully intended to tell you about her feelings, she didn’t want to prolong it, but…

♡ Kyoko really wanted to find the right timing.

♡ Something about just admitting them with no warning didn’t appeal to her. She wanted an opportunity, an appropriate moment, a clear headspace.

♡ But most of all, she wanted it to be fair on you.

♡ In her eyes, she believed that it would not be fair on you to just come out with this declaration; especially if she was uncertain of how you felt for her. She’d grown rather fond of you over the time you knew each other, so ruining that bond was terrifying.

♡ So, naturally, Kyoko started looking for clues.

♡ She observed you, pieced interactions together, silently desperate for any sign that you may return her feelings.

♡ However, surprisingly, her natural instinct seemed to be completely overpowered by anxiety this time around.

♡ Any time Kyoko thought she may have a sign, she backtracked and assumed she was somehow letting her hopes up.

♡ She is a master at keeping her feelings to herself, so literally nobody knew unless she’d mention it.

♡ Would she mention it? No. She debated talking to Makoto about it, but she ended up just lingering on the idea and never acting upon it.

♡ She’s more of a silent processor when it comes to big chunks of information.

♡ Continued to gravitate towards you.

♡ She’s not very direct with expressing how she wants to spend time with you, but these feelings definitely boosted her in that area.

♡ She’d ask you to accompany her on a walk, or to help her sort out some non-confidential files, claiming it was a tedious task to do alone.

♡ Kyoko wasn’t much of one for use of the phone, she wasn’t constantly on it, but she seemed to always check hers at work on break just in case you’d messaged her.

♡ Appreciates every little interaction you two have.

♡ It’s so lovely for her to feel as if she really belongs with you, whether or not you choose it to be platonic or romantic, but Kyoko really is just glad she met you.

♡ Whenever you need her, whenever you want her, just say the word - she’ll be there in a moment.

♡ Doesn’t matter if you need help, if you wanna talk, or if you just got bored, she’s coming.

♡ She’ll be all fluttery on the inside but on the outside she might as well be ice.

♡ If you compliment her she will NEVER recover. Your words bring her so much pride it’s unreal!!

♡ Plays it cool though, she can’t be giving away her feelings just yet.

#danganronpa imagines #danganronpa scenarios #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #kyoko kirigiri #kyoko kirigiri x reader #gender neutral reader #x reader #imagines

[liesmyth]

has something from a tlt fic ever become headcanon to you? i ask because i find this happening to me all the damn time with this fandom but not others

OK SO, my tlt headcanons are like schrodinger's cat, they explicitly contradict each other sometimes and all of them exist at the same time in different quantum states of canon. So in that sense I've never read a fic and thought, okay, THIS is my canon from now on.

But I've read so so many fics that burst my third eye wide open and made me consider different perspectives on a character / dynamic, or helped me shape some I already had. A few favourites:

the soul that seeketh him by bittybelle — missing scene pre NtN ft. John and Kiriona. Wherein John Gaius meets his daughter, remembers the women he left behind, and deals poorly with being the male god of a universe in which the divine is essentially feminine.

AO3 user LesbianJesusLovesYou gave me Big Feelings about Gideon's childhood on the Ninth and her relationship with Harrow, Aiglamene, Ortus and Crux

believing in everything (and knowing nothing at all) — A series of childhood memories from the Ninth

when i call, will you come to me? — “My Lady,” Ortus wheezed, shifting uncomfortably. “I only thought you should know… Gideon Nav was flogged before the congregation.”

A few fics set right after NtN that really stayed with me:

never hear the sound of someone calling me home by @corpsesoldier — Kiriona Gaia returns to the House of the Ninth.

One More Son by captainpeggy — After Nona, Pyrrha Dve walks the Ninth.

two old broads split a cigarette by @forjodssake — Aiglamene/Pyrrha. “sometimes the girl you like becomes one person w her soulmate and you have to jack off about it”

Post HtN missing scenes:

Death in its season by @ancientannoyance — John holds Mercymorn's 24 minutes funeral

recognize them by their fruits by @ceruleanvulpine — John and Ianthe emerge out of the River

Other stuff that Stuck With Me

so I open the window to hear sounds of people by @sunderedstar — post NtN flashbacks. John and Alecto are the only two beings on earth, and he starts working on the Resurrection. This is harrowing and I'm absolutely obsessed with the implications in this fic of WHY John removed everyone's memory.

and they were roommates by @herenortherenearnorfar — pre Resurrection Mercy and Cristabel, from their first meeting onwards and it just really burrowed a hole in my brain and grew roots and sprouts and everything. Latin American nun Cristabel it's all I can see now, and YES they met working with climate refugees when M— was a bright eyed idealistic doctor. It also lines up great with the Asian Mercy headcanon that exist in my head (I have a whole elaborate backstory about M— aged 12 proclaiming to her Filipino Catholic family that she's an atheist now). Anyway, it's just a lovely, gorgeous fic. I think about it every day.

John 25:12 by @halfeatenmoon — pre-Resurrection, John and his friends escape the cow fortress to spend Christmas Day at the beach. With beer, salads, pavlova, and the corpses of a million fish killed by nuclear weapons testing. Ft. Southern hemisphere holidays in Mururoa Atol and 100% canon. To me.

Operation: The Most Honorable Man by @cadmean — Augustine has a proposal for the Saint of Duty (Dios Apate. That's the proposal)

lowkey cheating but I can't choose — absolutely anything AO3 user Raxheim has posted has been SOO up my alley. Every time I read one of their fics I feel like I'm enlightened by some never-before-considered detail. And mean ANYTHING, from Harrow Nova to Wake to Cytherea and the Lyctors to the Universe's #1 Sadgirl Gideon

#this accidentally turned into a rec list?? sorry #ask #anonymous #tlt fic #fic recs #tlt

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 6

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"I'm seriously moving to the North Pole."

"What?" Jourdan laughed.

"I'm sure paparazzis would not find me there."

"Don't underestimate them."

"I just... How did they find us in Paris? How did they know?"

"It was fashion week, there were photographers everywhere."

"Urgh" Adele grunted, sinking a bit lower on the sofa.

The day after the Dior photoshoot, she had woken up to her and Mason all over the internet. A paparazzi had caught them during their walk and then while having lunch, and there were what felt like hundreds of articles talking about it, most of them saying the same: that things were ok between them after she had been seen getting cosy with Nico at that party. 

"You do look like an actual couple, tho. Again."

"Jourdan... Not you, please. I already have enough with my mum, Toni, and our brothers. You should see our family group chat, I had to silence it."

"That bad it is?" she chuckled.

"Worse. They keep saying that they believe we are just friends as we tell them, but that if something else is happening or will happen, we have their support."

"That's cute."

"That's... I don't know what it is. But nothing is happening."

"I disagree, Adele. Because something is happening: you and Mason are getting closer. You may not be dating or falling in love, but you are slowly becoming the type of friends everyone expected you to be since you were born."

"Yeah... I guess. I just wish they would leave us alone for five minutes."

And after those Paris photos, it looked like they had finally left them alone. Each day there were less photographers outside Adele's house and less often, and people online had also relaxed. Though it probably was just because there was a new scandal surrounding the royal family. Either way, she was glad her mundane life was back. Kind of. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Mum, please, stop!" Luca complained.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I've missed you so much!" Elizabeth said.

"I know. But if you keep squeezing me like that, you will miss me forever."

"Luca! Don't say that!" she scolded him. 

"Sorry” he said, trying to shrug. “But please let me go. I'm sure dad also wants a hug."

"I'm fine" he chuckled.

"Addie?"

"Mase just arrived, gotta go open the door for him. Sorry" she smiled.

"Yes! Run to your boyfriend instead of helping your dying little brother!" 

"Whatever" Adele said, rolling her eyes. 

That year they had decided to spend the holidays all together in Switzerland, having some proper white Christmas as when they were kids. And, of course, the Mounts were joining them. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"If I hit Luca in the back of his head with a snowball... What do I get in return?"

"Another one?" Adele laughed. It was Christmas Eve, and they were going back to the resort where they were staying after having lunch in town.

"Boring" Mason said, rolling his eyes. 

"Sorry for being realistic" she shrugged.

"What the fuck!" Luca screamed. "Who hit me?"

"Your sister!" Mason said, pointing at Adele.

"What? It was... Fuck!" she complained. "Luca! That hurt!"

"So did mine!" he replied.

"I think they are having a snowball fight without us" Adele's dad said. "Should we join them?"

"Darling..." Elizabeth started. But it was too late. Everyone was already throwing snowballs, screaming and laughing. 

"Mase, no. No!" Adele laughed while trying to run away from him.

"Come here, Addie!"

"No!" she laughed again, running as fast as she could without slipping.

"Oh, you've made such a big mistake, Miss Turlington."

"Shit" she whispered when she realized she had run into a dead end. "Mase, please... I didn't mean to hit you in the face, I'm sorry."

"I made a living out of it, you know?"

"I know, and I'm very sorry."

"It's too late for that now" Mason smirked.

"But that snowball is huge! Mine fitted in my hand, and that one is bigger than your head!"

"I have a small head."

"You do" she snorted. "Wait, I'm sorry. Mase... Mason."

"Too late, Adele. Time to face your destiny" he said, lifting the big ball and throwing it against her. Throwing it... And missing.

"Oh my God" she laughed. "That was so bad! You hit the wall!"

"Addie..."

"You better not have that bad aim with everything."

"Addie... Adele!" Mason said, quickly grabbing her by the arm and pulling her against him.

"Holy shit" she whispered after a big chunk of snow fell where she had been standing just a moment ago. 

"That was close."

"So close" she said, suddenly realising how close she was to Mason. To his face. From that distance, she was able to perfectly count the freckles on his nose.

"We should join the others." Four, five, six... "Addie, did you hear me?" Ten, eleven... "Adele!" Mason chuckled.

"Damn it" she said under her breath, losing count. 

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just... Just a bit chilly. We should go back."

"Are you sure you are ok? You looked... Distracted."

"It was the shock of the snow falling, nothing else."

"Ok..."

"Hey, what are you two doing there?" Luca said behind them. "Making out?"

"You are so funny" Adele said, rolling her eyes.

"I mean, you are hugging and way too close to each other. If I was a pap and saw you like that, that's what I would think" he shrugged.

"And you would be wrong" Adele said, letting go of Mason. She hadn't realized she had her arms around him. "Not let's go, I'm getting cold."

"Then ask Mason to keep hugging you" Luca smirked.

"Fuck you" she said while walking away, trying not to think too much about what had just happened, or what she had felt.

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

[ichangedmycornyahhname]

Spider-Man x Spider!Reader

Summary: Despite it being the holidays, you find yourself sitting alone in tears. Until somebody comes by to make things all better.

Warnings: None, just really fluffy (I guess a little angsty but overall really cute, also kinda short). (Gender neutral reader). (Not proofread).

Your head lulled back, eyes gazing up at the dazzling stars above. The cold bit at your skin, each gentle breeze blowing snow across your face. It was end of December, nearing the holidays which most people enjoyed. It meant spending time with family, friends, and enjoying the coziness of your home. Except you’d be fighting crime and stopping thieves like the year before, and the one before that.

The Empire State Building was an excellent place to get away from the crowded city of Manhattan. The lights weren’t as blinding or as euphoric as that of the city. Instead they were dimmed by the distance, only bright enough to see the white puffs of air that slipped through your mask. This year would be your first without your Grandmother who had moved away from the city in order to be safer. Her involvement with you and your spider life had grown out of hand, she had become a target. Which meant she had to leave. At the time you had no issue with it, in fact you encouraged her to depart. But now that you looked back, you were alone in the city, fighting crime and living off of a crappy job. A long sigh flared your nostrils, the cool air fogging up at the change of temperature.

Maybe you should give her a call, see how she’s doing. Without a second thought you pulled your phone out, going into your contacts and gazing at your grandmothers name. And that’s when you felt them. The hot tears soaking your mask as you sniffled softly. You didn’t want to cry, but the tears had a force of their own. The hand with your phone went limp as your gaze returned to the sky, and your lip warbled with grief.

“Hey, you okay?” You jolted, lenses widening at the sudden appearance of Spider-Man. He stood crouched on the side of the building just below you, an inquisitive look on his face. “Fine.” You responded curtly as you adverted your gaze, a sniffle leaving you. This garnered a soft ‘right’ from the man. It wasn’t as though this was the first time the two have met. You two were actually fond of one another whenever you did meet. Which is why he was now making his way up the building side to take a seat beside you. “Stress?” He questioned as he situated himself.

“I guess you could say that.” You chuckled dimly, although his presence had managed to lighten your mood just a bit. “What about you? How come you’re up here?”

“Being your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man can be a tedious task.” He joked as he stared down at the city. “I believe you.” You gave a smile beneath your mask before rubbing at your arms.

“Cold?” You knew the question was rhetorical, but you couldn’t help but respond with a chuckle. “Heh, yeah..freezing tonight.” He only nodded in response, the red and blue of his suit shining in the moonlight. “Well, here. This was for a friend but, it seems like you need it more.” He picked up a box from beside him, handing it over to you. You accepted reluctantly, giving him a look of confusion before taking a peek at the rectangular red box. Carefully, you opened it, revealing the crumpled up pieces of tissue paper and carefully knitted scarf and hat. You pulled the pieces of clothing out, wrapping the scarf around your neck, and placing the hat on your head. Instantly you felt warmer, inside and out. Your heart skipped a beat, and your stomach swelled with butterflies. “It’s perfect.” You muttered as you analyzed the cream colored scarf. Then you took a glance at Spider-Man, then back at the scarf, then to him once more. You scooted closer, lifting the bottom half of your mask to place a gentle kiss on his cheek and mumbling a small ‘thank you’.

This reaction came as a surprise to Peter. Sure, he knew you would love the scarf and hat, but the kiss? For once he was gracious for the mask that he wore, for his face now burned with embarrassment. “Y..you’re welcome.” He uttered under his breath as his eyes searched yours, a comfortable yet tension filled silence ghosting by. And for that small moment you both questioned your friendship. But only for that moment. You were the first to break the silence, your hand patting his shoulder lightly as you stood from the buildings ledge. “You made my night a lot better Spidey. But the city needs saving, and we can’t both enjoy the snow. I’ll see you again!” You pounced from the building, diving down head first. The wind whisked across your face, cold and sharp, completely contrasting the feeling in your stomach. You shot a web at the nearest building and swung off into the hectic city, a smile gracing you beneath the mask. You’d certainly call your grandmother later to catch her up on the latest developments.

#spiderman #spider man x reader #comic Spider-Man #fluffy #fluff #Spider-Man x reader fluff #x reader #Peter Parker x reader #marvel

[charmsandtealeaves]

So for 2024 I decided to keep better track of what fics I’ve read and added to my TBR list. I’m gonna be attempting to post these each week 😅

This week I didn’t get chance to read much with family stuff going on but here we go:

Read this Week:

Dumbest Witch Alive by @petalsinwoodvale

Complete (7.6k), Order! Jily, Rated T

Lily Evans unexpectedly finds herself in an underground wizarding auction on Christmas Eve after trailing a dark wizard for intel. Chaos ensues when a dangerous magical creature, a nundu, breaks free from its cage, trapping Lily and the shady Eugene Scrooge together in the warehouse. Newly engaged, with the expectation to return to her fiancé to share the good news with his family during a trip to the in-laws, Lily depends on old childhood hobbies and sheer dumb luck to navigate the situation and escape alive.

Pinkest Bluestocking of the Ton by @wearingaberetinparis aka Ritaskeetered (Chapters 1-8)

WIP, Regency! Jily, Inspired by Bridgerton, Rated M

Dearest Reader, the ton are abuzz with the latest gossip, and so it is my honour to impart to you the news that the Duke of Peverell has returned to London at last! A year after setting off on his tour of Europe, Lady Peverell's son has returned and rumour has it that his mother is preparing for the most joyous of occasions: a late summer wedding that sees her son wed the next Duchess of Peverell. It is my sincere hope that you have stored a bottle of wine for this most delightful of upcoming events for if ever there were a more determined mama, this writer is Icarus and this society paper has been scorched for flying too close to the sun.

Every Mother Is A Grave by @witchofimber (recced by @turanga4)

Complete (6.1k), Molly Weasley, Rated G*

TW: PPD & complex family relationships

One week after the end of the war, and Ginny is the only child still in the house. Molly thought, automatically, that the whole brood would fly home to her. In the summer, when her children were still children, she would stand at the twilight doorway with a sonorous to her throat and watch them race across the meadows towards her, the kitchen windows their lighthouse across a sea of dark. Tall, rangy Bill herding Fred and George, Ron and Ginny chasing each other in squabbling circles, Percy with a mouth already full of complaints and accusations, Charlie loping slowly, always last. But Bill is with his own family now. Charlie is in Romania. Percy writes her fearful owls and avoids his father’s gaze. George is apparently drunk in the flats of various friends. Ron bounces between George and Harry, trying to watch over them, flooing back home to grab soup and hangover potion. So only Ginny - her much-loved girl, her longed-for daughter, her baby - is in the house, and that fact should not fill Molly with dread.

You’ve Got A Friend In Me by Ritaskeetered

Blackevans (platonic), Fest Drabbles, Rated T

Sometimes friendship can be found in the unlikeliest of places, with the people you least expected to befriend. Written for mppmaraudergirl's Blackevans BFF Week

The Summer I Fell In Love by @annasghosts

Complete (9.8k), Holiday AU! Jily, Rated T

Lily Evans’ plan was to survive her sister’s destination wedding and rush back to her busy life in London, but a slight lapse in judgement and a chance encounter with a bloke who planned to escape his own London life might change everything.

Round And Round by @jilyism

Complete (1.7k), Hogwarts! Jily, Rated G

There’s a certain pleasure in this knowing—this understanding—of a person who exists outside of her.

Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You by @thelighthousestale

Complete (1.8k), Hogwarts! Jily, NYE, Rated T

Lily Evans is ready to spend New Year's Eve alone in her bedroom until James Potter files in and offers her a midnight ride.

Added to the ever-growing TBR List:

Pillar Of Pride by @sunshinemarauder

Complete (3.5k), Hogwarts! Jily, Rated G

James Potter is proud. This, she knows. She knows his pride like the back of her hand. She knows it from flying classes and Transfiguration successes and Quidditch games and pompous hair-ruffling. James Potter masquerades behind a pillar of pride, and to witness those pillars crumble is a precious rarity.

I Bend Like A Willow Thinking Of You by @thequibblah

Complete (7.4K), Jily AU - Canon Divergence, Rated T

She wanted to shake him by the shoulders, to ask him point-blank why this seemed to be the only bloody universe in which he couldn’t see how she felt about him—and the only one in which he felt nothing beyond friendship for her.

Everyone But You by @theesteemedladydebourgh

Complete (15.4K),Jily Starstruck AU, Rated M

“If I have to spend one more minute with your stupid face I’m going to—” “Fall in love with me?” Part-time bartender, full-time oncoming trainwreck Lily Evans sleeps with famous actor James Potter. Love (?) and shenanigans ensue. (Starstruck AU)

#charms read round up #week 1 #rec list

[theemporium]

[1.4k] bitter nostalgia, better memories and a tall werewolf wanting to make cookies with his girl.

.

Isaac Lahey couldn’t remember a Christmas he ever truly enjoyed. 

For his younger years, his Christmases were nothing but a microwave dinner shared with his mother and brother before his father came back from work. His mother would hand him a badly wrapped gift, something small that he was sure she sold a limb to get and watched as he clung it close to his chest as he fell asleep. 

After his mother died, his Christmases were just a cold reminder of what he used to have. 

After he lost his brother, Isaac couldn’t ever fully correlate the holiday season with anything but misery and bitter nostalgia. 

However, a lot had changed in the last year. And a lot of it was hardly comprehensible, let alone believable. 

He found out there was a whole other side to Beacon Hills he never knew. He escaped the man who tormented him for years. He found a group of people who felt more like a family than he had ever experienced in his life. 

Yet, you were the most shocking change in his life. 

Isaac Lahey never thought he would fall in love, and he especially never thought it would happen in a place like Beacon Hills. 

But life seemed to work in funny ways and as the next holiday season rolled around, Isaac found himself six months into a relationship with a pretty girl he had convinced himself he would spend his high school career just admiring from afar. 

He loved you. He knew there was no doubt in his mind that he loved you. And surprisingly enough, there was little you both disagreed on other than the stupid arguments you had. 

But the holiday season was probably the biggest difference you shared. 

Whilst December was nothing more than a month Isaac wished would pass quickly, you adored it. You loved the Christmas spirit and the decorations, you loved the carols and the colder weather. You loved it all and Isaac knew that. 

He fucking dreaded it because he knew you’d rope him into something and he knew he wouldn’t be able to say no. 

And it came in the form of puppy-dog eyes and a date night in. 

You knew pretty quickly into the night that something was up with Isaac but you couldn’t work out what. He had arrived at your house, a strained smile and chaste kiss placed on your lips as a greeting. 

He didn’t seem all that excited as he changed into some comfier clothes he left in a spare drawer in your room, but you played it off as him being tired after lacrosse practice. 

“You good?” you asked softly when you were laying against his chest, some random hallmark Christmas movie playing in the background and an oddly quiet Isaac sat next to you. 

“Yeah,” he murmured back, albeit a little distracted before placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “Just thinking about something Scott said, it’s no biggie.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed together. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” 

Isaac smiled softly. “Yeah, of course, baby.” 

You returned the smile. “Okay.” 

It wasn’t until the next day when you were casually talking to Lydia about the night that she had laid out the cards to you, painting a picture that was so fucking obvious that you were almost embarassed you hadn’t even put the pieces together quicker. He was your boyfriend, for fuck’s sake. These were things you should have known, things you should have picked up on. 

It broke your heart that the holiday season wasn’t as joyful and enjoyable to Isaac as it was to you. And you knew it wasn’t something you could change overnight, or maybe not ever. But you could make things easier, you could give him good memories to replace the bad ones. 

“Babe?” Isaac called out as he stepped inside the house, already shrugging off his backpack and jacket as he made his way inside. “Hello?” 

He received your message to pop over to your house after practice when he was in the locker room, a soft smile on his lips at the unplanned date. It wasn’t unusual for him to spend time with you after school but little things like this—where he knew you had something planned—did warm his heart in a way he never knew was possible. That someone cared enough to do little things like this was beyond him. 

“Did you fall asleep on the couch again? Because I swear—” However, his sentence quickly died down when he stepped into the kitchen which joined onto the living room, and he spotted you standing by the counter with a wide smile and an apron on. “What is going on?” 

“I am sorry,” you started as you made your way towards him, his eyebrows only furrowing further in confusion as you placed your hands on his chest and his automatically fell to your waist. “I’m sorry at how pushy I get during Christmas and I am sorry I’ve been throwing it all on you.” 

Isaac’s eyes softened. “Baby–”

“But I love you and I want to make this time happy for you too, even if it's just for a few hours,” you continued as your hands fell down to rest over his, slowly making your way back towards the counter as you dragged him with you. “If it gets too much, we’ll stop and just put on one of those lame comedies you like.” 

He scoffed. “They aren’t lame.” 

“They kinda are,” you grinned and squeezed his hand. “What do you say? Wanna help me make some cookies?” 

Isaac knew that if he said no, you wouldn’t take it to heart. He knew that if he said no, you would pack everything away and enjoy a casual night with him as if it were some random day in March. He knew that if he said no, you would happily respect his wishes and never once make him feel bad about the situation. 

But Isaac also knew that he didn’t want to say no. He wanted happy memories with you. He wanted to stand in this cramped kitchen and pretend he knew a fucking single thing about baking. He wanted to take a step forward, a step away from his past. And he wanted to take that step with you. 

“Anything with my girl.” 

It was as horrendously chaotic as anyone could have imagined it to be. Isaac ended up being more of a distraction than help, finding more amusement in trying to convince you that a better use of your time and the counter space involved less flour and clothing. But you kept slapping his hands away, playfully scolding him as you knocked your hip against his and sent him to the other side of the counter to work on cutting out the cookie shapes. 

“You’re insatiable,” you grumbled, an array of bowls with coloured icing surrounding the counter space as the cookies baked in the oven. The smell was heavenly and filled the house, but Isaac preferred his face nuzzled against your neck as he stood behind you, body pressed against his and his hands slipping under your sweater. 

“I thought we were making happy memories,” he murmured against your skin as his fingers splayed across your stomach, his pinky dancing against the waistband of your leggings. “And I don’t know about you, but this makes me very happy.” 

“Happy, wholesome memories,” you corrected, knowing very well your boyfriend’s stupid supernatural hearing made it clear he could hear the way your heart was pounding in your chest. 

“I mean, if you wanna be whole and filled, I can think of many ways—” 

“Isaac!” 

“Relax, baby,” he laughed, pulling you tighter against his chest as you attempted to squirm away from him. He could feel the heat from your cheeks, the way your breathing got a little heavier and god, he just loved messing with you. “We’ll wait until after the cookies are out, got some time to kill whilst they cool anyways.” 

“You are a bad influence,” you grumbled but it was lighthearted. 

“Gonna punish me for being on the naughty list?” Isaac teased, his lips brushing against your ear as he spoke his whispered words. 

“Bad boys don’t get to play with their toys, Lahey,” you warned playfully but you could have snorted at the way the boy froze behind you. “Gonna listen to what I say now?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Good dog.” 

Isaac snorted. 

Maybe this was the start of some good Christmas memories. Maybe the holiday season could grow to be something fond in Isaac Lahey’s heart.

.

#isaac lahey #teen wolf #isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey x you #isaac lahey x y/n #isaac lahey one shot #isaac lahey fic #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf x you #teen wolf x y/n #teen wolf one shot #teen wolf fic

[moonstruckme]

Hey bub, i have another (😭) idea for you. So sorry, i have no clue how many you have from me at this stage. Pls dont feel pressured to write any of them; i just get an idea/story line in my head and send it to you after a few days of it stewing before it gives me a headache 😫

But anyway, the idea is: James and Lily have just started dating but shes starting to feel a little weird about your (Ravenclaw!reader) relationship with him. From her perspective youre always around him; are openly affectionate with him (but nothing over the top); make him little presents; spend holidays with him etc. but its not enough for her to think hes cheating, just to make her a little uncomfortable.

She asks the girls if maybe shes the weird one here and overthinking it but someone passing by butts in and says how youre the same with Sirius and its why he wouldnt date her (we know thats not why) but it makes Lily a little more uncomfortable so she decides to confront James.

So she does and hes just silently in shock because "what?!" But the longer he stays quiet the more embarrassed/anxious/irritated lily gets. Then you start giggling, coming in at the tail of the conversation unnoticed, and explain to Lily that youre James cousin but youve lived with your aunt & uncle most of your life so hes more of a brother (+Sirius since hes moved in). Then to lessen the tension you loosen your tie and show her the hickeys down your neck "plus im dating Remmy, and he doesnt share well." Cue the fake gagging from James and Sirius, Lilys giggles and Remus' gentle scolding before "and if anythings, James should be concerned. I might just steal you from right under his nose 😉" Cue James indignation, Sirius' cackling, Remus' chuckles and more of Lily's giggles.

Again, pls dont feel pressured to write anything love but thanks for taking the time to read it 🧡.

Also i feel like i send enough of these that ill probs add a question at the bottom of each one and if you want to you can give me one in return if you write the idea??

First ones basic; whats your favourite colour? I like to say mine is red but i tend to gravitate towards for more earthy colours when i have to pick one for something xx

Hi my angel! This is another one I kept in my inbox for like over a month and just couldn't figure out how I'd write it (I totally know the headache feeling you mean too, there's some stuff I have to write before my brain explodes), but the public has to see!!! I lovelovelove how you portrayed Lily in this; I feel like there's too many jealous!Lily fics out there for my taste, because she seems like such a girl's girl! Like even though she's a bit insecure about reader and James' relationship, she's still going about it in the nicest and most careful way (like checking with other people before accusing James of anything and trying to be rational about it) and I just feel like that's SO her.

Q+A portion: I'm a purple gal! Very stereotpyical purple gal in that I don't think I actually have that many purple things but then some days I'll go outside and realize I've got on my purple sweater, purple socks, and purple little earbud case attatched to my tote. I totally get the earth tones thing though, I feel like they're so easy to pair together so most of my closet and decor is in earth tones too :)

#mae's asks

[beware-of-you-98]

✨Criminal Minds Writing Masterlist✨

I’m not really consistent with how, what and when I post but I’m mostly writing on ao3 and for criminal minds these days. Organized my lists a bit better so people can enjoy my works (old and new)! Feel free to comment or ask questions about certain works on tumblr.

Fics with smut will be labeled with a ** and discontinued fics will be labeled as such.

Criminal Minds

Jennifer Jareau x Emily Prentiss (jemily)

one shots

i wanna get better : a power outage triggers jj's ptsd and forces emily to take a deeper look into her relationship with the other woman [rating: T]

jj’s birthday** : emily, henry and michael work together to give jj the best birthday she's ever had [rating: E]

nothing is ever guaranteed : long buried feelings finally return during the aftermath of linda barnes' impact on the bau team [rating: T]

arms : emily is very surprised by the amount of arm strength jj has [rating: T]

i should be over all the butterflies : baby jjxemily first date [rating: GA]

i get off** : She wanted to be able to desperately feel like she could manage some part of her life, any part of it without fear. [rating: E]

you and i : lazy jemily morning [rating: GA]

it was so worth it** : pure sin [rating: E]

i love you, will you marry me : "Marry me," JJ murmurs out thickly against Emily's lips, the words even surprising herself when they escape her mouth [rating: GA]

you’ve got nothing to fear, i’m here : their odd day off doesn't quite go according to plan [rating: T]

fire escape : paris based off the songs “fire escape” by love, robot and “eyelids” by pvris [rating: T]

make you mine this season : emily’s first christmas with the jareau crew [rating: GA]

everything i do is all for you : emily wants to ask jj to marry her [rating: GA]

revenge and its thrills** : what do you do when the mom from the suite life of zack and cody shows up to your fbi bureau and decides she wants to do anything and everything in her power to take you and your team down? you and your girlfriend fuck in her office, of course! (aka bathe in holy water sin) [rating: E]

i know what you are : emily has a secret and jj confronts her about it [rating: T]

i wish i was just as strong as i make myself out to be : a completely original concept in which emily "died" during ian doyle's attack and jj had no idea about emily actually being alive <3 [rating: T]

we won’t be alone we’ve got love on our side : ficlet based on 5x21 “exit wounds” [rating: GA]

henry’s dragon : henry gets a pet [rating GA]

wish i could be part of that world : emily exposes jemily by singing jj’s favorite song in the shower [rating: T]

multi chapter

what if i can’t protect him** : it's another case involving children but it hits a bit too close for jj [rating: E]

a secret unraveled : emily and jj are dating in secret featuring how each member of the team finds out/how they react to finding out [rating: GA]

blackbird** : Emily is having a difficult time dealing with the trauma resulting from Ian Doyle and the BAU team (*ahem* mostly JJ and Garcia) help her get through it [rating: E]

i’ll never apologize for loving you : the three times JJ's family ruins the holidays (because homophobia) and the three times Emily is there to fix it [rating: T]

but why would you care : Emily quits the team like in the season 3 episode "In Name and Blood" but instead of Hotch coming to get her before the case, JJ confronts her after she hasn't shown up to work [rating: GA]

a night on the queen mary : emily and jj spend a night aboard one of the world's most haunted ships: the rms queen mary [rating: T]

here come the dreams of you and me : emily outs them to the team (accidentally) [rating: GA]

the truth is hiding in your eyes and it’s hanging on your tongue** : emily is a vampire that needs blood and jj has just that [rating: E]

Series

200 { a reworking of 14x15 “truth or dare”}

one shot

200 : Emily would do absolutely anything for JJ... [rating: M]

multi chapter

living in the mess we made : if 14x15 has to exist, then it's going to exist on my terms god dammit [rating: M]

only love {series of stories set from the time emily is rescued from ian doyle until that final night in paris [based off the song only love by Pvris]}

i’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent : a look into jj's thoughts and struggles as she waits for the outcome of emily's condition after being attacked by ian doyle [rating: T]

cause only hell knows where you’ve been : emily notices jj struggling on the jet ride home from the tobias hankel case [rating: M]

your built composure’s wearing thin : emily's "funeral" and how jj barely manages to keep up appearances [rating: T]

and all your walls are caving in : jj finally tells emily why she’s been acting so weird lately [rating: T]

i saw you, yeah you, you’re breaking down : honestly it's just the plane scene from 200 except they're both super gay and super sad [rating: T]

i hope you, yeah you, you come around : girl's night ft mutual pinning and garcia being completely over their oblivious bullshit [rating: T]

now don’t you shut this down : what the hell is she doing to emily, to herself? emily had come through for her time and time again and jj's only repaid her with cold impassiveness [rating: T]

don’t you give this up : emily has a hard time accepting jj’s state department transfer [rating: T]

i took all this love i found** : one thing that emily does do, and what comes as a huge surprise to jj, is sing [rating: E]

and i hope that it’s enough : the day that neither one of them were looking forward to finally dawns upon them [rating: T]

before you came around : JJ finally comes home to Henry [rating: T]

i was lost and out of place : blackbird84 started a new game [rating: T]

you’re the only love that i found : emily comes back and it's as if jj's world starts turning again [rating: T]

and i’m hoping that you’ll stay : jj and emily finally have a talk with morgan and reid [rating: T]

please stay : the end [rating: T]

{scrapped idea} [rating: T]

Jennifer Jareau x Elle Greenaway (jelle)

now you’re just a memory to let go of : elle leaves [rating: M]

there’s a time and a place to die and this ain’t it : fix it fic of the fisher king arc because why did anyone think it was ok to send elle home when the unsub knew about where the team lived [rating: T]

BAU as a Family

girl’s night : Girls night was a tradition that goes back to some of the very early days of the BAU team..... [rating: GA]

ice cream : BAU fam getting ice cream on a road trip [rating: GA]

bau jet shenanigans : what the core seven™️ get up to on a jet ride home [rating: T]

No Pairing

one shots

i trust you : JJ has a very important question to ask Emily after Michael is born [rating: GA]

multi chapter

cynophobia (the fear of dogs) : an analysis of jj’s fear of dogs over the years [rating: M]

what happened at the football game : reid takes jj on a “date” and it doesn’t go how either one of them expected it to [rating: GA]

Criminal Minds Evolution

Jennifer Jareau x Emily Prentiss (jemily)

one shots

true conviction but fuck it i did it myself : true conviction but better because a criminal minds fan wrote it instead [rating: T]

i couldn’t fake it even if i tried : emily feels a lot of guilt after the death of deputy director bailey [rating: T]

collabs

with all the weapons you fight with, your silence is the most violent (collab with @jemily-in-paris ) : penelope plans a girl’s night to fix the broken family dynamic [rating: T]

#criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #tara lewis #luke alvez #derek morgan #matt simmons #alex blake #elle greenaway #spencer reid #kate callahan #david rossi #aaron hotchner #jemily #jj x emily #long post

[hazardworld]

Steve and the very party holidays

Just thinking about Steve having a really shitty holiday experience as a kid: his parents/extended family is Catholic (dad: Irish-American/mom: French), so he got first communion and they went to the big holiday services, but that was about it.

Just little ol’ baby Steve sitting in mass for an hour or two, then going home for presents, most of which were trendy “boy toys” he didn’t really care for. Also, he could easily tell they were easily things his dad’s assistant knew were the most popular, not things he was actually interested in.

Every few years or so, his parents would have a party: either Christmas or New Years, but it was always fancy, and Steve had to wear itchy uncomfortable clothing, and try not to get distracted, and there was always way too much wine.

(Apparently, you never went to a Christmas party without bringing wine)

When Steve started middle school, they’d leave on Christmas Eve, tell him to go to mass (by the time he had the means to, he’d lost the belief in a god anyway), and to have a good time. Also, Santa wasn’t real, apparently.

So he learned how to cook and how to take care of himself and the house, and it was fine. It wasn’t great, but it could be far worse, so it was fine. He was lucky: he had a house with paid bills, he’d eventually get a car, and he had the means of feeding himself without worries. It wasn’t ideal, but yeah, he could live with it.

So imagine senior Steve, (forcibly) invited to Machiavelli family Christmas by Dustin (I could make a whole post on why my cultural headcannons are what they are but I’m italian american and i DEF see more IA hendersons then IA harringtons) who shows up dressed in that same, stupidly itchy clothing with wine, only to be told by Claudia that he’s much too formal. The wine is taken, and he’s handed a pair of Claudia’s (clean) sweatpants and a very soft green sweater with a santa hat on it.

It’s only once he’s in the backseat with Dustin that he realizes all their sweaters match, and 30 minutes later at the “family house” that apparently every branch of their family has their own different sweaters. Not only that, but Steve gets introduced not as Dustin’s babysitter, but as his brother.

Steve is confused, because aren’t Christmas parties supposed to be all stuffy and boring but also nerve wracking because everything’s too overwhelming but if Steve shows it he’ll get punished? 

Christmas parties aren’t laughter and coziness and friends and family all together (as the party continued, Steve met people and realized who was introduced as wouldn’t’ve mattered: everyone here, blood or not were treated like family).

Steve thinks it’s a one time thing, but he’s expected every year from then out: Dustin reported the Aunts agreed he was the best child-wrangler they’d ever seen, and Claudia said it was refreshing to have help bringing in her offerings for the large buffet. The next year it’s all the same but different, and Steve loves it.

Then comes Christmas 1986.

No one can leave Hawkins quite yet: the final gates have yet to close, though it should happen before the end of the new school year. For now, everyone’s stranded with what they can ship in or make themselves.

After the earthquake, Steve moved into the guest room of the Henderson’s place. They still used the mansion for party gatherings, but his parents made it clear they were never returning, and Steve had more happy memories with Dustin and Claudia then in the too-large expanse.

Once Max woke up, she moved in too: the government hush money was plenty enough to make Dustin’s bed into a bunk. Claudia even started calling them “her twins” after they formed a platonic codependency rivaling Steve and Robin’s.

The four of them spend Christmas together: Max gets her own sweater knit, and they even get some extra tinsel to wrap up her arm crutches and wheelchair for the days she needs them. 

There’s no Machiavelli family that year, but Claudia teaches Steve the family lasagna recipe, and they open gifts to the sounds of “Charlie Brown Christmas” in the background.

Steve doesn’t think it can really get much better.

The evening of December 26 is a whirlwind.

The four get to the mansion early to set up. Plus, Steve has to make his Ratatouille, and Claudia has to heat up Dustin’s baked ziti, as well as the 10 different side dishes she did not sign up to make but insisted on, anyway.

The party’s at 6, but both the Munsons and the Byers-Hopper’s show up at 5:45, saying they were there in case anyone needed help. They both bring latkes, but since Eddie’s a terrible cook (other than sandwiches, eggs, or freezer meals) his are burnt. Luckily, Joyce is kind, and says theirs can count for both.

Argyle (who stayed just long enough to be included in the mandatory staying in Hawkins notice) made homemade flautas, while Hopper and El brought Eggos, since that’s all they could agree upon making.

The rest of the group arrives after that, though slightly later. Robin claims this is her fault, since apparently she got to the store way too late. She brought kringle (If you don’t know what kringle is go to trader joe’s or racine wisconsin it’s so worth it). 

She also brought Max’s haggis: Max didn’t want anyone else in the house knowing what she was making, and Robin was the only one who let her use her parent’s kitchen to make it.

Lucas and Erica brought self-decorate-able christmas sweater speculaas cookies (that Lucas baked himself, thank you) and keep fighting over who gets to carry what. Erica said the tupperware is too warm, but she also doesn’t want the sticky frostings.

Nancy made things non-negotiable: since Mike wasn’t driving, he got the heavy crockpot of Swedish meatballs, while she got the casserole pan of shepherds pie.

Somehow, Murray also slipped in with risotto and various boozes. How? Steve didn’t really care, but it was wonderful getting to see his extended family, per se, coming together for the beauty of it all, and sharing each other’s cultures and traditions.

After food, everyone watches as Will and Eddie light the first Hanukkah candle (in 1986 Hanukkah started on dec 26!) together, and after that they all open their gifts to each other.

It’s a bit of a free-for-all after that: Dustin and Erica hopped up on sugar together is a nightmare, Argyle, Johnathan, and Will (apparently) got high while starfishing on the living room floor, Nancy found the wine cellar and started “taste testing,” Max and Mike started a hate-fueled tournament on Max’s new video game which Mike keeps trying to double the rounds for so he can win, and Robin and Eddie hopped up on sugar together is another nightmare. Steve’s only peace are the adults, plus Lucas and El who are quietly chatting and painting each other’s nails in the corner.

By the end of the evening, everyone saunters off the rooms, and Steve can’t be happier at the aftermath: the house that once encapsulated stuffy, sad, even disheartening memories now became somewhere where Steve could actually say his family had all been in.

And shit: Steve realized he had a family.

Wasn’t that a thought.

He was so fucking happy.

Fin.

(If any culture thing was wrong shout me out I wanna change it)

(also i wrote this at 4am sorry for typos and stuff)

#steve harrington #dustin henderson #claudia henderson #steve and dustin #steve and claudia #italian dustin henderson #italian claudia henderson #french steve harrington #max mayfield #max and dustin #scottsh max mayfield #the party #jewish eddie munson #jewish byers family #mexican argyle #indigenous argyle #even though it's not really mentioned #danish robin buckley #dutch lucas sinclair #dutch erica sinclair #swedish nancy wheeler #english mike wheeler #i didn't feel like making four separate tags for them #bilingual steve harrington #it's not mentioned at all but still #neurodivergent steve harrington #found family #steve and dustin brothers #eventual steddie #steve harrington fluff

[chelseafcwmemes]

“When you travel around the world, you are often reminded of how lovely Denmark really is” Part 2

At one point I demanded to have my hair cut short so I could look like the players on the screen. It continued like this for a few years, until one day my older sister told me that there was also a national team for women. Then I let the hair grow back.''

If you were to move to another place in Denmark? "When my sports career ends and I have to return to Denmark, I would like to live in Aarhus or Copenhagen. Sometimes people ask why I bother to come forward, but I'm so screwed up that if there's something I want to change, I'll do it myself. If nobody does anything, nothing happens either.''

What do you miss when you are abroad?

"Rye bread. My partner is from Sweden, and she cannot understand that you can be full from a few slices of rye bread in the middle of the day. She wants hot food for lunch. But I love a rye bread meal with a good curry herring or a fish fillet with remoulade.'

'Which season do you enjoy the most?

"Summer. I grew up in the middle of Jutland, so I always had an hour and a half drive to the sea, but my parents liked to drive that trip to get to the water. Not least in the summer months, when you could swim. During the summer holidays we always went camping in Italy, and as an adult I also love to travel. Every summer I make sure to spend at least a week in Denmark, because I love the Danish summer light, but I also make sure to go abroad, so I'm sure to get some sun and warmth.

'Where in the country would you like to go? like to be buried?

"I don't think much about death. In fact, I try to avoid thinking about it. I'm not the type to believe that anything happens afterwards. Unfortunately. Otherwise, it could be nice if you went to a nice place and saw all the people you've cared about again. My mother's family was quite religious, and so is my mother actually, but I did not inherit that faith. Therefore, I also have the opinion that you should enjoy and get the most out of life while you have it. You do that by being in the moment and being grateful for the things you have, and trying not to be upset about all the things you don't have. There will always be something you wish was better or different, but if you get stuck in those thoughts, it will be difficult to be satisfied with the life you live. But of course you have to seek out the dreams you have. That's what life is all about. And when I have to leave here, I want to be buried in Ikast. My grandparents also lie there, and my parents will probably lie there too, so somehow there is a sense of security in knowing that is where I am going. Then the ring is just like over.'

#pernille harder

[lesless]

glowing, growing 🔮 🍀

It is gently dropping small, delicate flakes of white outside & the air is so still, quiet, like a whisper. My love took the dog & headed out to a town 2 hours away to meet his father so he can spend tomorrow working on an initiative that may prove to be a wonderful investment of time/energy/etc., but not without quite a lot of work first. I am proud of him in a lot of ways, but I will miss him. I do enjoy my down time though, so I will make the most of it.

I had planned on meeting up with a friend tonight after she had dinner with her sister, but neither of us wanted to do much once the sky grew grey & it began to snow. I wrote a list of what I want to do solo tomorrow--tea (I need to reign back my coffee consumption, again), journal, breakfast, eat, go to yoga, get a juice from the place next door to the studio, a bath with the bath bomb I bought at the botanical gardens. Then, get some work done on the photo and/or writing project, buy some yarn to make gifts, write xmas cards, then maybe meet up with that friend I missed today. It sounds like a great solo day, exactly the kind of thing I like to do! A little chill, a little activity/movement in the A.M., a little productivity, a little shopping, a little fun.

It is funny that since I sorted through my clothes & replaced them with quality items I enjoy wearing that I feel like I have SO many options but I have SUCH a small number of items now compared to when I started weeding out synthetics. I have reflected that life is funny like that, sometimes when we lack quality we go for quantity, don't we?

Being deliberate in purchasing/replacing items has been a years-long thing & lately I do feel surprised that interacting with quality on a regular basis is satisfying, though I have kind of always held the idea that spending extra $ on things you interact with daily will make your daily experience more enjoyable. A nice face wash, comfortable bedsheets, decent rubber gloves to wash dishes in. I suppose I will just never stop appreciating little things in life.

Sunday bb will return, we will relax & play BG3, spend our last little bit of solo time together until next year, quite literally. Tuesday our friend arrives, I visit the allergist, then Thursday my cousin arrives, then Sunday we fly to Texas, then it's holiday madness & remote work, then we fly to Mexico, the new year blooms, more remote work, & we return to life & a new semester.

In more mundane news, I told myself that I would learn how to french braid my hair while it's short so I can become accustomed to it as it grows out & I have stuck to my word! 3 successful braids so far, though my arms do get exhausted & I feel feeble every time I braid it. Just as I feel weak every time I do core exercises (2 down this week! pretty good considering I spent 3 full & exhausting days in the office today) at least I'm doing it! I will get better! I can't expect myself to be good at something right off the bat, as much as I want to be for my ego's sake.

I still always feel at least a little anxious after socializing with people I am not intimately close with, & I have done an assload of socializing over the last 3 days, BUT I feel relatively unscathed after this week. 2 fumbles, which I felt I saved, & maybe I shouldn't be cataloging my social blunders mentally but also maybe mentally I'm a little left of center & I should just be OK with that, too, instead of self-monitoring so heavily. Anyway, I think the level of comfort I DO feel has a lot to do with the fact that I really just feel delightful about the people I work with; I really genuinely like them all. They are all such characters, so knowledgeable, incredibly well-intentioned, & most of them are as sassy & quippy as I enjoy in a person without the malicious undertone that often accompanies that trait.

Anyway I am trying to remind myself that bettering is incremental & when I look back at how far I have come I am proud of myself, too. Lastly, perhaps, I must shake the scolding I want to give myself at every imperfection.

It is a beautiful night & I am comfortable, listening to music & watching everything collect a thin layer of white outside of my window. I have things to look forward to, people to love, people to love me back, humble goals, & a deep appreciation for the now. I hope you, too, find a quiet sort of peace as the year wraps itself in darkness & cold. I hope spring makes you feel like you can start over if you need to. I hope you treat yourself gently tomorrow.

#me

[mmriesoftvat]

Kirara came through Mondstadt with a special parcel for Albedo. It appears to be a casket of tomes, however upon opening it isn't TCG cards that sit inside. Atop a stack of translucid paper sits a letter addressed to him.

[Hello Albedo, I hope my letter finds you well.

I've recently learned about the winter tradition from your region, and right away I thought of you then. If there is anyone I would wish to present with a gift...

... that person would be you. I broke the sentence so you can see what I did there. I hope you like it.

I am eternally grateful for the custom card back you have created for me. It fills me with pride every time my opponents ask me about it. Would that I was as gifted in the arts as you are, I would return the favor more confidently.

The next best thing I could do was to take my Kamera and travel across Sumeru to capture some of my favorite views. You will find them under this letter in the Casket. You can hold onto that as well if you don't have one yet, by the way.

I hope among the pictures you will find something inspiring. And if you ever wish to see these places in person, please come to find me. It would be an honor to escort you personally.

I wish you happy holidays and a good end of the year. As a final note, I want to leave you with a funny line I came up with.

Beryllium, gold, and titanium. When I look at you, I think you're full of it.

Cyno]

Albedo hasn't expected anything from anyone outside of Mondstadt. Most people would've buried their heads and focused on their own circle of friends. On his head, he'd have expected a gift from Sucrose, before making his way to his lab in Dragonspine where he'd spend the next few weeks enjoying the cold and quiet.

He's rather confused when he sees Kirara arrive in Mondstadt. Not just for any random visit, but evidently coming specifically for him. The confusion is evident on his face as he takes the parcel from her, offering up a quick thanks before turning around to open it. He can hear her footsteps retreating with a mumbled you're welcome. He'll apologize later for his rudeness, but right now Albedo's curiosity is going to exceed social norms.

In the small package, Albedo finds several pictures to sift through. There are lots that are already giving him inspiration and muse, along with a desire to travel to Sumeru and explore the landscape. Albedo had been meaning to go there for some time anyway, this would be the perfect chance to go.

Carefully setting the photos aside, he picks up the letter to read it. The confusion melts, replaced with a fondness that he rarely feels. Cyno...

Cyno had certainly been an interesting friend to make, but his humor and care for others had intrigued Albedo. He often finds himself longing for Cyno's company, particularly in moments when the cold makes him remember things he doesn't want to remember.

Once finished reading, Albedo hurries through the streets and back to his small home within the city. He can scribble out a return letter and hopefully catch Kirara before she leaves Mondstadt again.

Cyno. Thank you for your parcel. I hadn't expected a generous gift from you, but I am delighted to recieve one nonetheless. I should make plans to visit you in Sumeru soon. I would love to explore the nation with you and Tighnari, as well as Collei. I'll bring Sucrose with me as well, she's been missing her friend. This letter is short, and I apologize, I am pressed for time. But do expect me within the next few weeks. I will try to get at least a month off so I may come and do research there. I look forward to you showing me around. All my best, Albedo.

Reading it over, Albedo smiles to himself before putting it carefully in an envelope. He doesn't have any gifts to send back, unless Cyno would like some Mondstadt treats? Though...Albedo doesn't have any of those on hand, either. The letter alone will have to do for now. All that's left now is to track down Kirara or someone else to deliver this to Cyno as soon as possible.

#( ANSWERED. ) #roleplay abiogenesis2 #; cyno #( SELF | ALBEDO. ) #( IC. )

[schismusic]

Tom Waits and the art of believing

Somewhere in Simon Critchley's book on David Bowie he has an anecdote about Bowie redoing a vocal part a billion times because it's not authentic enough and — hold up, let me get the book:

"If Bowie’s art is inauthentic, if it is F for Fake, as Orson Welles might have put it, then is it also F for Falsehood? I remember reading an interview many years ago with Robert Fripp where he talked about watching Bowie in the studio in the late 1970s. Bowie was listening to a track or a tape loop and was very carefully, repeatedly, quite deliberately, and for the longest time, trying to generate the right emotion in his voice. What could be more contrived and fake than that? Shouldn’t true music come straight out of the heart, up through the vocal cords, and into our waiting, shell-like ears? Yet, as others have observed, Bowie’s genius lies in the meticulous matching of mood with music through the medium of the voice." (Bowie, Simon Critchley, p. 37)

— so yeah, if you've ever listened to so much as a smidge of Tom Waits this should be a pretty obvious connection to make.

It gets even better when you realize that Waits's inauthenticity is actually kind of the point. It's really hard to pinpoint where Thomas Alan Waits ends and Tom Waits begins, or more accurately the other way around - which makes what Tom Waits says immensely compelling, in that you never know for sure whether it's the cookie-monster-demon-thing talking or the man behind the legend poking his nose into the words. So this necessarily makes for a number of different possible listening experiences. This one time I was playing D&D with my old party and as we were playing my DM needed to introduce the Skaven — it was a Warhammer 40K type thing, I have never played any Warhammer 40K, whatever, that's besides the point — and he was like "all of a sudden, from the underground, you hear that song from Robots" and everybody was like "ooh yeah I know that!" and I was like "holy shit you mean Tom Waits?".

This kind of threw many of the people around the table for a loop and the night ended with me lending my Bone Machine CD to the home owner. He promptly returned it a while later and I suspect he didn't get to the end of it. More Tom Waits for me I suppose. When I first got that exact copy of Bone Machine (spoken like someone who has more than one copy of Bone Machine, whereas this is very much not the case, it's still the same one, bought used in January 2020: I was dating a girl and it lasted for like thirty seconds flat but luckily our relations are still very much positive, we got to base one and then dipped, then we lost track and exchanged like holiday wishes or birthday wishes if we got lucky, then all of a sudden I meet her again downtown last November — what happened is she apparently takes dance classes in town and has to spend like two hours on the train everyday just to train, pun not necessarily unintended but also definitely not intended entirely — and we have this wonderful little chat and then we're both like "actually let's stay in touch I'd love to get coffee at one point" and then sometimes we have short conversations and honestly I might just actually ask her for this coffee thing, have a more relaxed conversation and all, she's a nice person you know, she has her own way of dealing with the cards she gets dealt, a slanted skewered sense of irony about herself and everyone else that's very Southern-Italy-expat-into-the-North most likely mutuated from her parents and perhaps even derived from a sense of inadequacy of sorts, there's a lot to unpack I think, meanwhile I at the time — January 2020, that is — was still trying to process the previous relationship, which I might or might not have mentioned in the Godflesh piece, which actually might have become the veritable centerpiece of most of the stuff I write on here, and damn this sentence is really long, you guys are enjoying the ride I hope, I mean you must, after all this is the name of the game on here, don't I usually just run around in circles until all of a sudden you look the other way or roll your eyes in immense frustration and/or inveterate anger and while you're not looking I get to the point and the story ends?), it was January 2020 and I was on lunch break from studying. I was getting ready for a Linear Algebra exam. Linear Algebra is pretty cool but it doesn't leave much room for emotion, necessarily — it has its reasons of which the heart knows nothing. So here I was, this girl I was dating on her first relationship, me with one relationship too many, as young as I was. And at one point it entered my mind that maybe, just maybe, to stop being a crybaby I probably just needed to get into different music. Potentially music that had mystified me in the past. And nothing had mystified me like this one 128kbps CD dump of Tom Waits's Rain Dogs had, uploaded on a USB drive for me by a friend's father. So obviously I picked up Bone Machine. And I pop it in the stereo that night and this shit hits me right on the temple.

Imagine my shock when I realize that all of a sudden you don't need to be Godspeed You! Black Emperor to sound like the end of the world. Even crazier to me that the apocalypse could sound so flawlessly and tastefully arranged and yet so tangible and even brutal, and that there was basically no divide between the two. Which obviously prompted me to ask "how does this even work?" and to keep listening. So maybe all I needed to do was approach this with a musician's mentality, which is what I still do and it genuinely helps me a lot when talking Tom Waits. At the same time I wouldn't argue Tom Waits is a musician's musician, so to speak. He's also a writer's musician, crucially. Bones Howe defined his work on Nighthawks at the Diner as "Allen Ginsberg with a really, really good band" (I'm linking it here in full so you can check it out on your own time, which I highly recommend you do), and while I feel like Waits's work on average is a bit more humorous, which is kind of why even among the Island era works Bone Machine is the only one that actually does that homicidal maniac thing where everything, and I mean everything spectacularly ties into that general sense of apocalyptic abandon. The more personal numbers relate excellently to that, better than they ever have — and this is from that same guy who wrote, I don't know, Time. This one time, right before the pandemic hit, I was invited to a birthday party and as many things did back at the time it spiralled into a lot of heavy feelings being spilled onto absolute strangers. I had this CD in the car and I felt like I had to put this track on, I just knew it, don't ask me why. So I did:

And then a while later I found myself toying around a lot with this other track, called I Don't Wanna Grow Up (music video courtesy of Jim Jarmusch, by the way). Obviously 2020 wasn't the best time for many people. I was trapped with five other people — two of which had COVID — in a house meant for four, I seemed unable to hold one person down for long enough to actually become friends and my academic career, if there even was one, was very clearly dead in the water. And let's be clear here: would you wanna grow up in that context? God knows I didn't. And I guess it makes it even funnier when it's a guy who has very much grown up already telling you that he doesn't wanna grow up — and that you find yourself believing him. Because ultimately Tom Waits, as opposed to Thomas Alan Waits, does not in fact grow up. He is born fully formed and trudges through life in eternal decay, he faces memories of his past haunting him and turning ever less beatnik and ever more hallucinatory and modernist and distorted. His blues become his decomposing greys/greens, they become toxic miasmas that end up deforming and corroding the songs. And even icons of religious salvation turn into broken contract killers — the sole ones capable of providing a truly beautiful death. "Some say he killed a man with a guitar string… some say under his coat there are wings." Fitting that the music should turn a slow country instrumental into a metaphysical number, chilling and perfectly inexplicable precisely in direct proportion to how close it is to the reach of sheer intuition.

But what originally got me into the record was Waits's balladry, as funny as it may seem. You don't usually listen to Tom Waits for the ballads, mostly because lately (that is, from 1983 onwards, at least) that's very much not what he's remembered for. And yet not many people can just as easily write Goin' Out West — a track that goes so hard it's been covered, basically unaltered, by Queens of the Stone Age — as he does Whistle Down the Wind — a track that's so touching it's been covered, with very different instrumentation and vocal interpretation, by Joan Baez — on the same record, no less. The one that got me at first was A Little Rain, a murder ballad so brutally honest it doesn't even have to say it out loud: a sixteen-year-old leaves her small hometown to see the world. "I love you mom, and a little rain never hurt no one" are the words she leaves her mother with. To the cost of sounding redundant, it probably wasn't the rain that hurt her. You are left with a profound sense of evil that, unsurprisingly, pops up in a track like Springsteen's Nebraska — "well, I guess there's just a meanness to this world".

But the one that speaks to me, fellow imposter syndrome having asshole, the most is Who Are You, more eloquently (perhaps a bit too eloquently) titled Who Are You This Time on some live albums of Waits's. It's very easy to construe yourself as a suicidal buttfuck-insane maudit rat bastard, but most other people see right through it when you're twenty. My obsession at the time was to be taken seriously, to be taken as a ticking time bomb, to be taken as a menace even. I don't think it was necessarily a form of posturing; it could more appropriately be interpreted as me trying to get people to notice how fucked I felt this shit to be. Unfortunately it gets old fast. I guess Tom Waits, or likely Thomas Alan Waits, kind of saw it too. It's reasonable to interpret this track as a song against itself, or rather a song against whoever is singing it, or rather a song about whoever is singing it pretends to be in front of an audience, which necessarily entails some interesting reflections on identity and artistic integrity and the understanding that who says the thing is just as important as the thing being said. I am making no sense because it's almost 2am. I don't give a fuck. Here's a song that makes me cry:

#schismusic #music #writing #long form #tom waits #bone machine #Youtube

[sharkneto]

Honestly you could write about your OCs buying groceries or something and id eat that up, your writing is great keep it up

Ah thank you! Around being busy with life, I've been in a little bit of a writing slump, so this is really quite kind of you to share with me <3 I'm so glad you enjoy them so much. I do spend a lot of time thinking of them just doing normal things, so maybe I should write more of that down :)

As a token of my thanks, I give you a snip of Normal Things from the Rob and Sarah Holiday Fic I both wrote too much and not enough of in December. <3

Quick context notes: Rob is the youngest of three - his older siblings are David (10 years older) and Julie (7 years older). Sara (note the spelling difference) is David's oldest daughter who just had a baby of her own.

Sarah luxuriates in her shower. Really enjoys the hot water massaging her back. The soft aroma of her soap. How the steam billows and fills the bathroom.

And most importantly how she’s the only one in the room. Alone. No Walters anywhere, not even her Walters.

When she thinks she’s pushed it as long as she can get away with, she reluctantly leaves the warmth to dry off and rejoin the chaos. Blowdrying her hair takes up a nice amount of time. She considers doing something fancier with it and her makeup to waste some more time, but she really has been in here for too long to be conscionable when there’s fifteen people in a two-bathroom house.

Time to return. She only has to make it through another couple days and then they’ll have the house to themselves again.

“You love them because you love Rob,” she reminds herself in the mirror. She does. There’s just so many of them. They’re everywhere.

In the hall, the door to the guest room is closed – Sara and/or Andrew must be catching up on missed sleep. Hopefully the baby is in there with them. Sarah doesn’t need Carol [Rob's mom] to try and hand it off to her again in a forceful push for those latent motherly feelings she’s apparently supposed to have.

She continues down the hall. It’s unexpectedly quiet, a softer rumble of voices than normal and Christmas music beating in the background, broken as Sarah makes it to the living room and Julie exclaims, “What is that?”

David, Julie, and Rob sit around the coffee table, leaning over a pad of paper. All three of them have their heads tilted over whatever is drawn on it.

David points at some part of it. “It’s a UFO.”

Rob squints. “I got that. How did you get to that from—?”

“No,” his brother interrupts. “No, I did the best drawing of what you wrote. Accurate to every degree.”

Julie snorts and flips the page back one.

Sarah walks over after another sweep of the room – the three siblings do seem to be the only ones here right now. She relaxes. “Are you guys playing Telestrations? Where is everyone?”

Rob brightens at her appearance. “Yes. And you want to play, I know you do. And go right after me.”

“A big group went with Mom and Dad for a walk around the neighborhood. Mom was weird about wanting to see the decorations in the daytime, but I wasn’t going to push it. It got her out of the kitchen and messing with Rob’s system in there. Half of mine went with Michael back to our hotel because someone forgot her phone and you know how you can’t survive family time without that,” Julie reports. “Sara and Andy are back with the baby. Hopefully sleeping.” Her gaze flicks to David, a look passing between them. “And I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than play a dumb game like Telestrations.”

“She definitely doesn’t,” Rob rushes to say. He pats the cushion next to him. “I don’t know why we’re trying to play this with three people, anyway. It works better with more.”

Sarah laughs. “How bad is he doing?” She leans over the back of the couch, hand resting on her husband’s shoulder. 

“Terribly,” Julie says cheerfully. She spins the notepad for Sarah to see better.

“It’s not that bad!” Rob defends. “They’re exaggerating like they always do.”

“You write like a drunk monkey,” Sarah says fondly, patting his shoulder twice in appeasement as he huffs. She looks at the scribbled line on the page, written words only by technicality. “’Cow jumped over the moon’?” she asks the group.

David pulls the pad back to himself as Rob holds a hand up in victory. “How.”

“You know,” Julie says, “one of these years I’ll finally remember to bring one of those primers my students struggling with handwriting get. I think it would really help you out. Just a little practice.”

“I’m not that bad! David always draws whatever he wants. It’s part of our game within the actual game.”

“Oh, Bobby,” Julie says with mock sincerity. “The game within the game is David always going after you so he can destroy how you can’t write words.”

“I’m a doctor!”

“Who can’t write. It’s a really heartwarming accomplishment, we’re very proud,” David says. He leans towards Sarah. “Where in this does it say ‘jumped’. I figured out how this says ‘cow’ and the loops I get how those are the o’s in ‘moon’. Where is the j.”

Sarah points to it. “It’s about finding up and down strokes. And you can’t count humps to figure out u’s and r’s versus m’s and n’s, he doesn’t count so you can’t either. Take in the whole shape. Sometimes he dots the i’s and j’s kind of near the letter they belong to, that helps a lot.”

Rob huffs again.

#thanks for the kind words! #nice things #it has never been relevant in HIT or JT that rob has doctor handwriting #but it is important to me that you all know that he has *atrocious* doctor handwriting #snips #i should have a rob tag #sarah

[dionysia-does-stories]

Snow Spirit

Cringetober 2023, Day 18: Old Story Rewrite

On AO3

Rating G - 611 words - Cardcaptor Sakura - Touya/Yue

Summary: Touya has a romantic Christmas Eve planned the Yue refuses to let an evil sorcerer interrupt.

Story:

Touya had been planning the perfect Christmas Eve for three months. His Favorite Twerp and her boyfriend (not his favorite) were spending the night out. He didn’t ask for details. He didn’t want to spoil his Christmas by think about their Christmas. Their father was traveling for business, leaving the kids to choose how to spend the most romantic day in Japan.

Sakura had declared it a “Clow Free Holiday”. She left the cards at home. Took Kero to Tomoyo’s house where he was gorging on homemade takoyaki. And Yuki was at home with Touya. 

They had the house to themselves. They were always together, but never alone. It felt indescribably luxurious to be together in the kitchen, cooking and talking like an old married couple. Yuki had brought a bouquet of flowers with him, perfuming the air with a soft floral scent.

“I feel like Yue and I are getting along better than we used to,” Yuki said. “Like we’re actually starting to be one person with shared goals.”

Touya nodded but kept silent. They were one person but they were also two people. It was an unusual situation. The two facets of them didn’t share memories yet. Maybe they never would. Touya had spent long inscrutable afternoons talking to Yue. Touya loved them both. He wanted to protect them both. It didn’t matter how complicated it all was. 

“For the longest time it felt like we were fighting with each other. Like we couldn’t decide who’s life was the priority. But it’s all melded together. Protecting the Clow, protecting Sakura, building a human life, loving you. It’s all one purpose now.”

“What was that last one again?” Touya didn’t look away from the pan he was cooking in.

Yuki swooped in and kissed him. 

It was so easy. It was wonderful that it was easy. They’d earned these moments of peace and love.

Yuki suddenly looked into the distance. His eyes unfocused. “I think I forgot something upstairs.”

Touya knew that look, but decided to let Yue think he was being covert. “You should go look for it,” he said.

Yue in Yuki’s body pecked him on the cheek. A blush stole across his face. Yue always found showing affection to be profoundly embarrassing. Touya like that he did it anyway.

Yue-Yuki went upstairs where he let his power wash over him. In the blink of an eye, he was fully transformed. His priest robes flapping and his long white hair nearly reaching the floor. He had sensed something outside the house.

This was Yue’s season. The cold winter frost added to his power. The full moon hung heavy in the sky. He walked out into the night, casting a spell that made him become one with the snow. He was invisible to on lookers.

He moved around the house. Floating outside Sakura’s window, a low-talent sorcerer was trying to break in. No doubt he was here for the cards.  He thought them undefended in their master’s absence. He was wrong.

Yue moved silent and hidden through the snow until he was right bellow the sorcerer. Then he struck. Fast and hard. The sorcerer had no time to collect himself or mount a defense. Yue dismantled him. Yue was not going to allow anything to interrupt Touya’s romantic plans for this evening.

He allowed just his cold eyes, glowing with moonlight, to appear to the sorcerer. “Leave this place and never come back”.

The sorcerer ran.

Yue returned to the house, realizing his body to Yuki. The human didn’t remember what happened but had a vague impression of how excited Yue was to be spending Christmas Eve with Touya.

#cardcaptor sakura fanfiction #cardcaptor sakura #fan fiction #fanfiction #touya/yue #touya/yuki #christmas #christmas fluff #fluff #cringetober 2023 #Day 18 #old story rewrite