#and she carries this with her throughout her whole life. talk about daddy issues

[honeypiehotchner]

intelligence & issues (Hotch x Reader) -- chapter seventeen

Another smut chapter babes, so it’s 18+ only! xx.

Listen to “False God” by Taylor Swift while reading this (if you want) <3

Warnings: SMUT lmao, choking, oral (fem receiving), Daddy kink, wall sex, multiple orgasms, I think that’s it?

Previous chapter || Fic Masterlist

Chapter Seventeen: We might just get away with it, the altar is my hips

You go with Emily to the next evening’s group meeting. It’s entirely uneventful, partly because the meeting was sparse in numbers tonight. Lina said sometimes that happens in the evenings, too. It ebbs and flows.

Still, your somber mood has lingered. Everything feels different than before, and you hate it. You want to go back a few weeks, back to the basement of your childhood home. You want to ignore your head and let your heart guide you.

But you don’t have a time machine.

So, you choose -- for once in your life -- to live in the present.

Emily offers you a supportive smile as she disappears to her room, leaving you in the hotel hallway, right outside Hotch’s door.

All you need to do is knock.

Just a simple, small action, yet it takes you two minutes to find the courage to complete.

The knock echoes all throughout the hall, ringing in your ears, vibrating from your knuckles to your elbow.

Some shuffling is heard from the other side, the deadbolt sliding out of place, and then the door swings open.

Aaron isn’t in his suit anymore. He’s in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He looks different. Normal. Cozy. Like someone you could spend your whole life with.

That’s what your heart wants. You know it. Even if it’s too early to know, you know.

“Can we talk?” You ask, but Aaron is already ushering you inside before you get the first word out of your mouth.

Once the door closes, it’s like the words won’t stop spilling from your lips.

“I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just gonna say it, but...I want you. I know it’s wrong, and I know you’re my boss, and I don’t care. About any of it, I just know that I want you. But…” You pause, swallowing thickly. “I understand if that’s not what you want. It’s a two-way street, so I’m not trying to force anything that isn’t there. And I know I’m not exactly the...most ideal person, I guess, I mean, I was-- I come with a lot and I get it if that would just be too much on top of the whole being my boss and being older thing. I know I should’ve said all this last night, but I was scared. And I just can’t get you out of my head, Aaron, I’ve tried, and it’s not working, and I just wanted you to know that-- how I feel, in case it’s...just me.”

Aaron says nothing this time. His hands are gentle when he holds your face, and your eyes slip closed. Your heart sings, thank God.

His lips brush yours. Slow, soft, sweet. Everything at once. You feel it: an apology for all that’s happened, all he’s done, all he’s said. It’s asking for forgiveness in a kiss.

“I want you too,” he says, forehead pressed to yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to say that, but--”

“A year,” you answer, smiling shyly. “I’ve waited a year. The first case I went on.”

“Then I’ve waited longer,” he murmurs, thumbs brushing your cheeks as he smiles. “I knew there was something about you that first day you walked in my office.”

“Really?” He has too many clothes on right now. Way too many.

“Really,” he nods, kissing you again. “I want you, all of you. Right now.”

“Right now,” you echo, fingers already reaching for the hem of his shirt, your sentiments the exact same.

It’s a trade off from there. His shirt, then yours. His pants, then yours. His underwear, then yours.

You’re already wrapping your hand around his length, ready to feel him, but he pushes you away. You break the kiss to show him your confusion, but he’s smiling softly.

“Tonight is about you,” he whispers. “Go lay down.”

Still confused, you nod, turning to crawl onto the bed and lie down. You prop yourself up on your elbows, though, watching him as he kneels on the end of the bed. His hands wrap around your ankles, causing a surprised yelp to leave your lips when he pulls you closer to him.

“What are you doing?” You ask through a laugh, letting your legs go limp as he hooks your left over his shoulder. He places his hands on your ass, wrapping around your hips to pull you closer to him.

He doesn’t answer your question -- not verbally. Instead, he dips his head to pepper kisses along the innermost portion of your thighs, dangerously close to where you want him.

“Aaron,” you gasp, your arms giving out when he nips at the skin a little too close to your lips, causing you to collapse onto the bed.

He lifts his head, feigning innocence. “What?” His thumbs stroke circles on your hips. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” You cry. “Don’t stop!”

“That’s not how good girls speak to their Daddy,” he replies seriously, raising an eyebrow at you.

Oh shit.

“Apologize,” he orders, fingers kneading the flesh of your ass. “Don’t make me ask twice.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you let the name tumble from your lips with ease, noticing the way his face darkens with pleasure. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“That’s a big promise to make, sweetheart,” he coos, leaning his head on your thigh. “Are you sure you’ll be able to keep it?”

You nod vigorously.

“Use your words.”

Jesus Christ. “Yes, yes I promise.”

“Good girl,” he murmurs, peppering kisses around your hips, stomach, thighs. “Lie back,” he whispers. “You can hold onto my hair, okay?”

You nod again, then remembering his previous instruction, you add, “Okay.”

“Now,” he breathes, hot air fanning over your pussy. “We are in a hotel,” he murmurs, lips brushing your clit as he speaks, and you try not to whimper. “So Daddy’s gonna need you to be quiet. Can you do that?”

“Mhm,” you hum, hands fisting the sheets, using all of your willpower not to buck your hips into his mouth. “Please.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he chuckles, finally lowering his head.

You’ve never done this before, and that thought did cross your mind, but you didn’t want to tell Aaron because you didn’t want him to get nervous. But now, when his tongue strokes you, you realize you probably should’ve said something.

The pleasure is pure electricity. His tongue is masterful and warm, opening you up for him instantly. Your hips raise off the bed on their own accord, chasing the pleasure only he can give you.

Your hands leave the sheets to twist in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, and he groans, pulling you closer, burying himself. Aaron would choose to stay here for hours if you would let him, and judging by the noises you’re making, he thinks you would.

“Aaron,” you gasp, feeling your stomach tightening already, but he only dives deeper. “Daddy,” you choke out, eyes rolling back as he pulls you closer.

He focuses on your clit, and within seconds, you’re cumming, crying out as the pleasure overtakes your body. He lets you push his head down, chasing the last few waves, before your body gives out, and you sink back into the mattress.

Aaron relishes in your aftershocks, stopping once your hands slide from his head, going limp by your sides.

Pressing one last kiss to your hip, he crawls up next to you, pressing a soothing kiss to your lips. “Hey,” he murmurs, pulling back, but your eyes are still closed. “Look at me.”

You obey instantly, opening your eyes as a dazed smile crosses your lips.

“There she is,” he smiles too, kissing your nose. “You okay?”

“More than,” you breathe, body warm and buzzing all over. “I need you.”

“You have me,” Aaron replies easily.

“No, I mean,” you pause, raising one leg to hook it over his back, pulling him back toward your core. “I need you. To fuck me. Right now.”

“To fuck you?” He teases. “You have been a good girl, haven’t you?”

You nod. “Please.”

“Well,” he shrugs, settling over your hips. “Since you’ve been so good for me.”

Before he can align himself, you’re stopping him. Aaron looks at you, eyebrows furrowed, wondering why you’re biting your lip and trying not to smile.

“Use your words,” he reminds you. “What do you want?”

“Against the wall,” you blurt, squeezing his biceps. “Fuck me against the wall.”

Nothing will ever come close to the way his lips split into a grin, and without a second thought, he stands, gathering you into his arms.

He carries you to the wall, pressing your back into the space where you stood just the night before. Only this time, you’re facing him, legs circling his hips, ankles hooked together.

Aaron lines his cockhead up with your core, watching your eyes as he slides inside of you, until his hips are pressed against yours.

He starts to move, but you grip his arms tightly, so he stops. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just...don’t move,” you groan, leaning your head forward onto his shoulder. “You feel good,” you murmur.

“What?”

“You feel so good,” you say again, a little louder this time. “Oh my God.” He fills you differently this way, and it’s addictive already.

Aaron chuckles lowly, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “You feel good, too, sweetheart,” he whispers. “You feel so good wrapped around me.”

That makes your walls flutter, and Aaron groans, fingers tightening their grip on your ass. So, naturally, you do it again. And again.

“Little girl,” he warns. “Don’t tease me.”

“Sorry, sir,” you grin into his neck, but the smile is wiped right off your lips as he begins thrusting.

He’s deeper than he was last night, and the thought only makes your walls flutter once more, drawing him in more. The action causes his hips to falter, and one hand leaves your ass to press into the wall for added support.

“Good girl,” he growls, moving his hand from the wall to grip the back of your neck.

You feel it when it happens, the wave of pleasure and wetness, your walls fluttering harsher than before. And you’re damn sure he felt it too, because he has to stop entirely, catching his breath.

“Look at me,” he orders, gently. And when you lift your head, meeting his eyes, he raises an eyebrow. “Do you want me to choke you? Use your words.”

“Yes,” you nod.

“Yes, what?” He asks, fingers already wrapping around your throat, but not applying pressure.

“Yes, sir,” you break off into a moan as he begins rocking his hips, his fingers squeezing ever so slightly on the sides of your throat. Your eyes and head roll back as the pleasure begins to build.

“Are you going to cum already?” He sneers, chuckling darkly when you try to nod. “My dirty girl. You only needed my hand around your throat, hm?”

“Yeah,” you whine, gasping when he changes angles, fucking into you harder, hitting your sweet spot every time.

“Come on,” he growls, shifting his grip on your hips. “Cum for me. Let me feel it.”

He knows the perfect time to apply more pressure to your neck, and as soon as he does, you crash.

He’s closer than he was letting on, because all it takes is a few more thrusts before he’s spilling inside of you. A smaller orgasm blossoms when you feel the warmth spread through your core, a dazed smile settling over your lips at the feeling.

Taking his hand away from your neck, Aaron moves it to cup your jaw as he kisses you, coaxing you down from your high.

You lazily hook your arms around his neck, moaning into the kiss as you push your hips forward, effectively burying him even deeper inside of you.

“Two orgasms and you’re still not satisfied?” He inquires, moving to pepper kisses down your neck, nipping here and there, but not leaving any marks.

“Oh, I’m-- I’m very satisfied,” you murmur, your head rolling to one side. “So satisfied.”

You’re not drunk at all, yet you sound like it. Aaron chuckles, slipping out of you, and carefully setting you down on your feet. But, as usual, your knees are trembling, so he has to help you stand.

“Shower?” You ask, tilting your head up to look at him through your lashes.

He nods. How could he ever say no to you? “Of course.” And on that note, he scoops you into his arms bridal style.

You’re a mess of giggles as he carries you to the bathroom, carefully setting you down on the toilet. As soon as the shower turns on, you begin peeing, and Aaron pays no mind.

It’s strange, you think. How the two of you act. Like you’ve always been this way. Like this is just how it is.

Once the shower is the right temperature, Aaron helps you inside, and last night is repeated.

Only this time, when you step out of the shower, and Aaron wraps you in a towel, you don’t run. Instead, you brush your hair in front of the mirror while Aaron goes to find a t-shirt for you to wear.

And when he returns with it, you drop your towel and lift your arms, allowing him to slide it over your head. He loves the fact that it swallows you whole, and you do too. (It’s kind of hot, really.)

“You’re not gonna make me sleep on the couch, are you?” You tease, crawling into the bed.

“Of course not,” he replies seriously, climbing in next to you. “You’re staying right here.” He pulls you closer by an arm around your waist, and you gladly fall into his chest.

In between kisses, you murmur, “I’m staying,” just so he hears it from you, in your voice. So he knows. You’re right here. You’re not leaving tonight. Or ever, if you can help it.

Before things can venture into heated territory again, Aaron stops, settling back into the pillows. You get comfortable in the curve of his arm, wrapping yourself around his middle while your head rests on his chest. The perfect pillow.

And just like last night, reality begins to creep in.

“Aaron,” you murmur. “We should talk.”

“I know,” he whispers. “Do you want to talk about it tonight?”

You think for a moment, and then you shake your head. “No. Can we just stay like this?”

He pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Of course.”

Content with that answer, you turn and bury your head into his chest, hugging him tighter, like if you don’t he’ll fade away.

“Hey Y/N,” he says quietly, lips brushing against your hair. “They weren’t just dinners.”

You smile into his skin, nodding. “I know.”

He leans over and turns off the lamp, the room falling into darkness. And the both of you sleep soundly for the first time in days.

Next chapter

#intelligence & issues #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch #hotch fanfic #hotch fanfiction #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #aaron hotchner smut #hotch smut

[piper-williamson]

my hoa ranking of characters — least favorite to favorite

not all characters are on this list but the ones i felt like i could rank as of rn. there’s too many minor characters i don’t care for and it’s not that i particularly care for the others i just remembered them enough to rank.

~~~~~~~~~~

rufus — -70969943853/10

kidnapped patricia. and jerome. and trudy. willing to commit human sacrifice of a kid. threatened them with electric bees or whatever. have had nightmares about him. thrilled that bitch is dead

denby — -10/10

so threatening with her words but she’s all talk. no action. kinda makes me hate her more? but in a different way. storyline is so messy like how did she even find out harriet’s destiny and how did she then decide she wanted to awaken a >hundred year old man and basically a hell demon?? like girl just go work for donald trump or somethin

vera — -6/10

not as annoying as denby but still like what did she even want? to be with rufus? why?!?? creepy af the time she was frozen dead but like not.

mick — 1/10

just,,, there. all he does is be in love triangles and play the sports. half of his storylines are just him leaving. patricia says there’s a man in the house (rufus) and he eats a banana. n who gives their gf and “just a friend” matching bracelets?!? 1 point for not being evil.

victor — 1.5/10

as much as i wanna put him above mick, he yells too much. calm down old man. 1 point for caring for the kids enough to not carry on when he found out about the whole human sacrifice thing. also saving joy in s2. y’know what he gets half a point more than mick.

trudy — 4/10

trudy is heartwarming but holy shit is she oblivious. Is Just Ok with “robert smith” being there even when she has no confirmation of his identity. very loyal to the kids and does protect them from a lot of shit. writers did her dirty a lot of the time.

mara — 5/10

ok listen. i don’t dislike mara. i just tend to favor the sibuna mystery storylines, and all of her stories are more realistic scenarios. that being said i love her helping poppy and i also love the sisterhood thing in s3. but also mara why the FUCK would you fall for mick like he’s mick??!?

kt — 7/10

written into hoa way better than on shows like h2o where there’s just one sentence about emma being gone and that’s that. she wasn’t just nina’s replacement, she was her own person. love her personality and her friendship with eddie. 100% a lesbian. only reason she’s so low is cuz no matter how good she is of a replacement character she still kinda is one and i don’t do well with those. i’m working on it.

nina — 8/10

i love nina so much. fabina is so cute together. i think the only reason i have her so low and don’t wanna put her higher is cuz i always hate main characters, even though i don’t hate nina. my mind is strange.

amber — 8/10

dumb blonde stereotype but who cares i love her. provides much comic relief for me especially in s2. ping pong queen. also love her bday episode. ungrateful for alfie at times. also liked mick but it’s a little more understandable cuz Hot Guy cliche. but was also mean to mara about it. but also a lot of that was mick’s fault #blamemick

alfie — 8/10

class clown who’s loyal af. Actually completes amber’s bf trial list. would go through hell for her. always feeling like he has to prove himself to the group but he’s always been an asset. we love him.

willow — 8/10

was such a comfort character when i was little. for some reason rewatching she was less of one. still absolutely so pure of heart and lovable. somebody get this girl a hedgehog.

eddie — 9/10

cool dude™. top notch bf. peddie is one of my fav ships ever. he kinda gets all heroic in s3 but s3 has a whole set of issues. plot twist reveal of his daddy issues. great development while being a great character the whole time.

fabian — 9/10

such a solid dude. guy-falls-for-girl-first trope to the max. he’s awkward and nerdy but not really cocky or annoying. fabian defense squad for life. point off for kissing joy like dude besides the outfit she looks nothing like nina come on.

jerome — 9/10

terrible person at times, but great character. comfort character of mine. his flaws allowed him to be developed throughout the show. he feels very real and human and i love him.

piper - 10/10

obsessed w her cuz i’m also pretty similar to her. both of us go (went) to music school and love patricia. not that i think she’s a BETTER character than a lot of the characters lower on this list, but this is a ranking of my favs so she has to be above them.

joy — 10/10

also a comfort character. i honestly feel most like joy out of all the characters. similar to jerome in that her character flaws lead to richer development. i live for it. was Literally held hostage by her parents and forced into a cult in s1. most of anubis house seemed to just brush that off. that doesn’t excuse her actions, but i love her growth throughout the series. not higher cuz she was kind of a dick to nina for a long while.

patricia — 10000000000+++/10

again i wish there were an infinity symbol. do i even have to say anything? witty and sarcastic and says what’s on her mind. i wish i were eddie cuz i’m in love w her. i know amber’s the one who went to fashion school, but patricia is a style icon. my gay awakening.

#sibuna ranks #sibuna x #rufus zeno #mick campbell #victor rodenmaar jr #mara jaffray #kt rush #nina martin #amber millington #alfie lewis #willow jenks #eddie miller #fabian rutter #jerome clarke #piper williamson #joy mercer #patricia williamson

[reflectionsofacreator]

Time for William’s conversations -- and he has five of them. Wordy motherfucker. As per usual, you can go here to listen to the voice inflections, though not many of them stood out to me for this set of convos. 

Will: Son?  Will: I ... I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. You have to understand I’ve never been very good at this. Nevermind that we live rather... extraordinary lives.  Desmond: Yeah... I kinda liked my ordinary one.  Will: You can’t escape who you are, Desmond.  Desmond: So I’ve noticed.  Will: Look... It’s silly for us to go back and forth like this. I admit, I did a shitty job raising you. I apologize. I’m sorry. But it’s important you understand that it didn’t come from a bad place. You’re my son. I love you. I guess I was so busy trying to make sure nothing bad happened, I didn’t... consider the consequences.  Will: Truce? 

Notice how Desmond doesn’t say a word to all of this. No agreement to a truce, no real word for Will’s justifications other than a few noncommittal snarks. Sighs. As much as Will says he loves Desmond, that doesn’t change the fact that Dez faced abuse at his hands. The way that Will talks just grates at me, trying to frame it as a “let’s make up and move on”, not really with any sort of actual like, real acknowledgement of it, and the way that William phrases brooks no room for argument. 

Onto the next convo. 

Desmond: I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to ask, but - how’s mom. She’s not...  Will: No, no. Your mother’s fine. We decided it was safer if we split up for this job.  Desmond: Always assuming the worst.  Will: Hmph. For good reason.  Desmond: Can I at least say hi to her?  Will: I’m sorry... It’s too risky. Maybe when we’re done...  Desmond: ... Right. When we’re done. 

Please, sir, a crumb of a canon name for Desmond’s mother, last heir to Altair’s bloodline? Please, sir, a crumb of acknowledging that mothers are important figures too to a person’s life, not just fathers? 

God who am I kidding, ac3 is just “daddy issues: the game” isn’t it, with both Desmond’s and Ratonhnhake:ton’s mothers thrown under the bus for the sake of father-oriented narratives. Sigh. It’s worth noting that Dez actually sounds pretty resigned on that last line, like he doesn’t quite believe it. Ha ha. Yeah. 

Desmond: Have... Have we ever tried to make peace with the Templars?  Will: Throughout our history there have been moments... Several, in fact. But... It’s impossible. There are... existential differences. Insurmountable. If there were to be unity, it wouldn’t be a truce so much as a submission.  Desmond: But knowing what’s about to happen... Wouldn’t it make sense to try and talk to Vidic? Come to an arrangement? Even if it’s only temporary?  Will: We’d all be so busy watching our backs, nothing would get accomplished. [slight chuckle] Imagine that. We’re more productive at war...  Desmond: Well have we ever tried... sending in someone? Doing to them what they did to us with Lucy? Or Cross?  Will: We have. And it’s never worked. We’ve sent people who were either too weak, and found themselves turned - or too strong, and were unable to carry out the charade.  Desmond: I just feel like we all want the same thing.  Will: We use the same words, but that’s all they are... words. In the end it all comes down to freedom. We seek it. They detest it. And so there’s never an end to the fight. Not until one side is completely gone.  Desmond: Is that even possible?  Will: Probably not. Our two groups have existed in one form or another since .. well... forever. But things can be better than they are. And that’s something. 

You know, when the person that was inhumanely experimented on advocates for peace with the people that did so, I’m a little more inclined to think he’s got a point than the Mentor of the Brotherhood who just outright refuses.  Honestly I think there’s something to be said for the fact that Desmond is largely an outsider looking in, and he’s able to see that this war is getting them nowhere, especially in the face of everything else. He’s spent his last 9 years living as a civilian, trying his best to get rid of the ideologies of the Assassins, and that leads him to having a lot of interesting perspectives. 

Honestly, it’s probably what the Brotherhood needs. They’ve spent so long trying to get the upperhand on Abstergo, or a lot of other things, and they lose sight of what’s important, I think. Like, yeah, you can say that Desmond is being naive, sure, but I just -- it’s like how Ratonhnhake:ton pushed back against Sam for saying he’ll grow out of his own naivety. Like, the game isn’t exactly being subtle with the parallels between Desmond and Ratonhnhake:ton, but man if it doesn’t make me worried. 

I know, ultimately, that the modern day plot kinda goes to nowhere (save for maybe the Origins onward), and that there’s not much in the way of change that happens. Also, I know that Ratonhnhake:ton’s efforts for his own people are futile in the long run, resulting in a very similar feeling futileness that these two characters have to grapple with. But like, that’s the rub, isn’t it -- ac3 is more tragedy than anything else, with inevitable failures that can’t be circumvented. 

It interests me that Desmond lumps Lucy in with Cross though. Like as not he doesn’t exactly know the whole story there, but still. Makes me think. 

Desmond: Did you look for me, dad? When I was gone.  Will: Every day.  Desmond: Come on...  Will: I mean it. Every night I’d look. Searching for you name - or variations of it - hoping you’d slip up. Abstergo only found you first because they had better access. A few more days and it would have been me.  Desmond: Well, I’m here now.  Will: And I’m glad. 

Desmond sounds resigned on that last line, damn. Tbh, the vibe I got from this one is that Dez couldn’t really believe that his father actually cared about him. (I mean, I can’t either, but that’s neither here nor there) I do vaguely wonder how long it took for the frantic searching to become just an ingrained habit, how long it took before William would just click through results and never actually hope to find anything, resigned to never knowing the fate of his son. 

Dammit I think I just made myself feel for the bastard. [beats with stick] back! Back I say! 

Desmond: Do you think Lucy regretted what she was doing?  Will: I used to think I knew her well, but clearly that wasn’t the case. So I really can’t give you an honest answer.  Desmond: She seemed so sincere, though. Like she really wanted to make a difference.  Will: Yes, well when I first met him, I thought the same thing about Cross.  Desmond: It just keeps happening over and over again.  Will: What does?  Desmond: Everything...  Will: Don’t get weird on me, Desmond.  Desmond: No. It’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry.  Will: Alright, then. You should think about getting back in the Animus... We’ve got to find that key. 

Catch me worrying anyways :D Like, really worrying :D

Groans I just. there’s so many worrying signs in these conversations, and I don’t like where it’s going!! at all!! 

If you liked this, or what I do, consider checking out the rest of my ac3 playthrough!  Or my other playthroughs in general! 

#creator plays ac3 #William Miles #Desmond Miles

[mongooseblues]

Hi! What inspired you to create your OCs?

Ooooh nice and open-ended I love it!

Back in like… February? March? I was like yo it’s time to make some characters I’m getting sick of niche fanfiction and I don’t watch anything anyone watches. Started just with vague themes and the plan of an ethically murky relationship between a professor and a grad student. Teachers have been super important to me throughout my life and frankly I have lack-of-daddy issues so male teachers have been guiding forces for me (and sometimes sexual confusion and too-ardent admiration exclusively on my part gets involved lol) Got kinda derailed from my education during pandemic stuff and I was missin’ school so professor OC! Cal is consciously inspired by a mix of people I’ve loved, and subconsciously undoubtedly more.

I'm gonna ramble again so here's a text break.

Specifically, two particular teachers were the biggest forces that shaped Cal’s character, one of whom, Mr. W, I’ve mentioned on here a couple of times as I was in class with him pre-pandemic and he happens to be my teacher again now. It is constant inspiration I adore him and he was such a influence for Cal originally that he’ll do or say something every couple days where I’m like 🥺 That Was Very Cal of Him (which is like, not a surprise considering, but it gets me every time).

The other professor was one who effortlessly commanded a lecture hall like nobody’s business and was hot and magnetic and charming and also somehow got me so excited about an obscure subject I was only taking to fulfill a GE requirement, and I got the sense that other people felt that way too because the engagement within the class as a whole was very palpable. Also one time he came to class with, in his words, a “heavy, heavy cold” and proceeded to lecture through substantial stuffiness and it almost killed me dead and I learned exactly nothing during that particular lecture and I still think about it. He was super upfront about not feeling well and told us immediately and apologized in advance and it was somehow done with confidence and grace and he was just darling is all.

My beloved Special Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks is in there but honestly half of what I loved about Cooper was, I realized, my own personal headcanons for him in terms of illness. But his kindness and politeness and enduring sense of responsibility are things I loved drawing on and intersecting with when I wrote fanfic for him so many of those traits and those intersections have been carried into Cal.

There’s another couple friends I adore in there, and Cal's Indian identity draws extremely heavily on an ex-roommate and what he’s told me about the pressures of arranged relationships as it affected him personally. Also Jackie O. (who most of y’all haven't really met yet) is actually the name of that ex-roomie’s dog (who I never actually met but I heard so much about her that she made an impression). I told him I used her name for a fictional canine character and he was beyond pleased to hear it. (“You call her the whole thing right? Because the O. is important.” (Of course I do, the O. is crucial)).

My partner is also heavily featured in Cal. That one’s not purposeful. But I have to keep acknowledging to myself that many of Cal’s flaws are his, and I’m realizing as I write that part of what I’m doing is probably trying to better understand my partner, I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I reach some revelation. My partner is similarly difficult to pin down psychologically, I think maybe that’s part of what’s possessing me to examine Cal so thoroughly and why there are things about him that keep eluding me that other people I talk to about Cal actually sometimes seem better equipped to point out than I can. I dunno, sometimes I do something with Cal and I don’t consciously know what I’m getting at exactly I just know I’m getting at something.

Cal and Rafael’s struggles are unintentionally reflective of my partner’s and my own, in an arrangement where in some ways we’re each simultaneously both characters. Some of the Rafie stuff I just haven’t been able to write yet because it’s emotionally hard and hits very very close to home. I didn’t write myself into their story on purpose either. I didn’t even realize I did it until later, maybe because I just usually don’t look at my life from a top-down perspective that way so I’m kinda slow about it and I don’t think I realized how dire some stuff was until I wrote it in an obscured fictional context.

(Partner is currently out of town and after typing this out I sent him a text that said “Sometimes I think I write about you by accident” and proceeded to cry about that for a minute. We’re okay, I think, don’t worry 💕) Wow I got kind of off track there. Suffice to say Cal is profoundly loved and very important to me.

I really wanted a divorced character and neglected to fully realize if I got deep in exploring that relationship it’d be sad. It wasn’t the original plan to explore Cal/Rafie pre-divorce at all, actually. Hell, it wasn’t the original plan to follow any of these characters anywhere besides Cal’s main storyline but here I am a couple hundred pages later doing so. Rafael’s not really consciously drawing on any influences, but probably some unspecific amalgamation of Junot Diaz characters have made an impression.

Josephine is new to you guys, but the Cal/Josephine relationship is, in some ways purposely and in others not, drawn from an ex-friend I sorta fell in love with once a long time ago and still adore lots about in retrospect. A situation I could have handled better had I been older/more mature and now I’m kinda exploring that and I can tell another something whose thesis statement I don’t yet fully know is being uncovered here because every time I write their relationship it instantly becomes much longer than I’d intended and it gets ridiculously intimate from Cal’s perspective.

I’m breaking my own heart six ways to Sunday over here lmao.

On a lighter note.

Scotty is most consciously drawn from bits of my sister (the sex & love addiction aspect especially, I read her self-help books and use her as a bounce board for stuff with Scotty’s character development sometimes) and my irl best friend—who is impossibly cool—was a big influence on their non-binary identity and their radicalism and some of their speech mannerisms, but those are really the only direct connections I can tie because I feel like my experience with Scotty in my own life was a rotating cast of that extremely cool, slightly dangerous, alluring but A Lot person I always wished I knew better but was a little afraid of what would happen if I did.

and I gotta finish this damn story so y’all can properly meet Scotty. I have a ton of content I’ve written that I have to hide behind a sort of spoiler wall of two unfinished fics so I need to get on that.

#answered asks 💕 #warning I get kinda sentimental & sad in this answer lol #and reaaaal personal #Cal #Cal/Rafael #Rafie #Scotty

[saharamae21]

Lilypad - Drew Starkey Imagine

Author: sguymon21

Summary: A request for Drew where the reader is pregnant and throughout their pregnancy he does bump updates and pregnancy updates for both you're families because they don't live in LA. Like her bump getting bigger, the weird cravings she's having, videos of the baby kicking, decorating the nursery, mood swings, parenting classes, and whatever else you can think of? REQUESTED

Word Count: 1.9K+

Warnings: None

__________________________________________________

When you found out you were pregnant, you were ecstatic. The only person who stood a chance of matching your excitement was Drew. You knew how much he wanted to start a family, so when the time finally came, he cried. He held you in his arms and placed his hands on your stomach. You knew he was going to be a fantastic father.

Month One

When Drew told you that he wanted to send your families monthly updates, you were completely on board. At one month, you lined up at the wall, chalkboard in hand, and had him take your side profile. You giggled as it felt like a mugshot. Nothing was noticeable yet in the photos, but you were definitely experiencing changes. The morning sickness was already to affect your everyday life and you became super sensitive to certain foods. Even the smell of coffee in the morning made you want to throw up, even though you normally needed a cup or two most days.

You sat on the couch and held your stomach. Even though your baby was only the size of a half grain of rice, they were fully controlling your every move. Drew sat down next to you and pulled you into his chest.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?” he muttered. You smiled, knowing what he wanted already. He wanted a little girl that he could spoil. You on the other hand wanted a boy. You wanted a mini Drew running around the place.

“Secret,” you mumbled. He chuckled at you as you closed your eyes. The fatigue set in, causing you to fall asleep in his arms. He watched the mother of his child with the most admiration possible and hoped that in a few months he would have a new girl to hold in his arms.

Month Two

The first month passed quickly and you found yourself in front of the wall again. You held up the blackboard that read two months and smiled for the camera. However, as soon as it was taken, your smile faded. You were exhausted and your hormones were going crazy. The doctors informed you that you had to severely limit your caffeine intake and withdrawal was setting in. Your head was constantly in agony and the nausea had somehow gotten worse throughout the past week.

Drew got home early from a shoot and looked around. Usually you were in the living room, but today the apartment was silent. He knew you didn’t have a doctors appointment and began to worry something was wrong. He opened the door to your guy’s bedroom and found you nestled in between the sheets. He smiled at your sleeping figure before crawling into bed.

You stirred awake and flickered your eyes open. Drew eyes met you and it filled your heart with warmth. All the sickness and fatigue was worth it when you saw the way he looked at you.

Month Three

The first sign of life appeared when you looked at the picture for month three. A small baby bump presented itself as you excitedly held up the blackboard. It wasn’t very big, but it was enough to make the both of you emotional. He held you from behind, his hands on your tummy. This was his new favorite position. He loved to have as much contact with your unborn baby as he could.

You laid on the floor of the apartment angry. Your emotions weren’t quite back in check and the crazings were starting to set in. All you wanted was peanut butter and tortilla shells, but you were out of peanut butter. You had asked Drew to grab some on the way home, but he was having a less than ideal day and said no. That put you in a mood and you haven't moved since. You wanted to have a stand off and wait until he caved and agreed to get it for you, but the baby was demanding food.

You forced yourself up to look in the cupboards, but nothing sounded good. Feeling emotional and defeated, you sat down on the kitchen floor and just began to cry. Minutes later, the door opened and Drew walked in. He heard you crying and knew that he should’ve had more patience with you. He walked in and crouched down in front of you, holding a new container of peanut butter out for you. You sniffled and looked up at him, knowing that if you two had a little girl, Drew would never be able to say no to her.

Month Four

You stood against the wall with a huge smile. Your stomach was continuing to grow every week and your excitement grew with it. You had begun to think of names for your child, but Drew and you had different tastes. Drew didn’t want to play into the whole celebrity child names, but you wanted something different. No child of yours would be named Jacob or Hannah.

You sat on the couch with the most energy you had in weeks. Drew slumped next to you, just in the mood to cuddle. You were in the mood for other things though. It was the first time in the past few months that your sex drive was back. You leaned over and pressed your lips to his neck, causing him to jump. He looked at you as your hand gripped his shirt. He looked at you wide eyed and told you politely that he didn’t want to. You stared at him, mouth agape.

“I-I just don’t wanna hurt the baby,” he said with the most innocent look on his face. You laughed at him and placed a soft kiss on his lips telling him that you loved him.

Month Five

You stood up as straight as you could, proud of the baby that was growing inside of you. You held up the sign and smiled as big as you could. Drew was running around the house for the past week, excitedly talking your ear off. You were supposed to find out the gender this week and he literally couldn’t wait. You two had finally settled on names and that made everything so real. If it was a girl, she would be Lilith. If it was a boy, he would be Jasper.

You sat in the doctor's office with Drew. His arm was slung over your shoulder as the doctor walked in. She smiled at you and told you that the baby was in wonderful condition. So far, there were no issues.

“So, would you like to know the sex?” she said.

We both said yes and you leaned your head on Drew’s shoulder. He had a hand placed on my baby bump and we waited as she looked at the file. She opened her mouth and Drew began to tear up. He kissed the top of my head as you wiped the tears away.

We were having a little girl.

Month Six

You stood against the wall and basically begged him to take the picture. Your legs were aching and you were gaining weight so quickly these days. You smiled as he took the picture, holding the sign like always. After it was done, you went and sat on the couch. Drew joined you shortly after, lifting your legs onto his lap to rub the cramps out of them. You closed your eyes and let him comfort you for the rest of the night.

You looked around the room and smiled. It was painted this muted yellow color and had accents of pink and white. A crib sat in the corner of the room and decorations were everywhere. It was really starting to come together. Drew pulled you in for a quick kiss as you stood in the center of the room. You felt the baby kick inside of you and smiled brightly. Drew had never been around when she was kicking. You grabbed his hand and placed it on your tummy. You watched his eyes go wide as he stared at you in awe.

“Our kid is pretty great, isn’t she?” he said. He loved her so much already.

Month Seven

You were getting pretty big by now. You stood by the wall and held the sign. Our families were getting so excited as we got closer and closer to the due date. They lived for your monthly updates. They also FaceTimed you guys weekly to make sure you felt perfect and so they could see what was changing. They loved being updated on my cravings and you health condition.

You laid on the couch, cuddled into Drew’s arms, as you talked to Jodi. You loved seeing how similar Drew and his mom were. She smiled and asked for a hint on the name we picked, but you had agreed not to tell anyone until after she was born. It was killing your parents.

When he finally hung up, you smiled at each other. The baby always kicked when we talked to our moms. Their voices triggered a happy reaction. He placed his hands there again and felt the movement. He placed a small little kiss on your belly.

“Hey, baby girl… It’s daddy,” he whispered. Then he said something that made you fall in love with him all over again. “I love you, my little lilypad.”

Month Eight

You took the picture for month eight and smiled. You were continuing to gain about a pound of weight a week. You knew we were on the home stretch and honestly, you just wanted my little girl to be here already. Drew took the picture and smiled at you. He was being especially sweet that past few days. He constantly praised you for carrying his child and it made your heart so happy.

We laid in bed together and you shifted in discomfort. The baby has been pressing up against your ribs lately and it was really uncomfortable. You felt Drew pull you into his arms and rubbed your back. You sniffled as your chest felt like it was tightening.

“Hey, shhhh…” he cooed in your ear. He placed small kisses all over your face. “I’m so proud of you. Just a little bit more and then we finally get to meet our little lilypad.”

He was right. One more month and Lilith would be right here in your arms.

Month Nine

We took the final pregnancy photo and jumped for joy. Our little princess would be with you guys in no time. He had gotten your hospital bag ready and the nursery was now finished. All of your friends and families were getting super excited to meet your little girl. Most days, you sat on the couch, on the phone with your moms. They both were planning their trips out here for after the baby was born.

It was about a week before our due date when my contractions began. You sat in bed and panicked as you tried to get a hold of Drew. Your eyes squinted as they became more frequent. Finally, he picked up and you told him you were going into labor. You stood up to grab the hospital bag as he told me he was leaving the gym, clearly in a state of shock. While you were hanging up, your water broke. That’s when it all became way too really.

About 7 hours later, you laid in the hospital bed with Drew. Your little girl was curled up in his arms and the way he stared at her made you melt. He teared up as she slept so peacefully in his arms.

“She’s so beautiful,” he said in a strained voice. He was holding in tears at the sight of our child. “Welcome home, lilypad. Mommy and daddy love you so much.”

______________________________________________

Tag List : @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @prejudic3 @queenieloveswriting @jjtheangel @infinitydols @simpingforrudypankowonly @waywardbarbie @outerbankslut @outerbongs @ilovejjmaybank @beth-winchester21 @jiaraendgame @sunwardsss @talksopretty @bb-tings @teenwaywardasgardian @netflix-imagines @canibeoneofthepogues @raekenliar @judayyyw @jjpogueprincess @waywardbabie @casper17

Tagging a few more: @spilledtee @starlightstarkey @potterheadhollander @anonymous0writer @tomhardybby @diverdcwn

#drew starkey #drew obx #drew #obx #obx netflix #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #outer banks

[samwrights]

Aoba Johsai 3rd Years as dads [hc]

Lmao, as if I was gonna stop at Karasuno. I’m a Seijoh hoe through and through 😂😂😂 this ones a little off the rails but it’s my blog and I write what I want. I’ll get to the rest of Seijoh later, maybe, but these turned out way longer than I anticipated.

Slight TW; mentions of miscarriage.

Iwaizumi;

I love this supportive man so much 🥺

I don’t even want kids and I’d let him turn me into a baby factory, idgaf.

Ahem, n e ways.

Low key, he would be freaking out over your guys’ first kid. Didn’t matter that you were in live-in S/O’s, or that you’d been together for y e a r s.

Homie wanted to marry you first, finally get you guys out of your shoddy apartment, maybe spend a few years traveling the world.

He wanted to live the life of a dink, at least for a little while before eventually starting a family with you. Apparently someone’s pullout game weak af.

Despite not being prepared for parenthood, your pregnancy actually goes pretty swimmingly. Iwa would def be the man to come with to all doctors appointments, parenting classes, and would literally call his mom every three seconds freaking out because he has no idea what color to paint the nursery.

“Mom, I can’t just paint it whatever, what if the baby doesn’t like it?” Don’t ask me why, I just know it would be a fact.

Throughout your relationship as teenagers, Iwa was always your hype-man cause he loves flaunting his woman at whatever she chooses to succeed at. Which made Oikawa hella jealous but irrelevant. Now that you guys were going to be a family, it was like falling in love with you all over again and he literally hyped you up everyday with how great of a mom you were going to be.

Endless comments on how beautiful you looked while pregnant, regarding your glow or how he gets so overwhelmed with love knowing that you are having his child. Fucking simp.

If you feel he’s laying it on too thick, you tell him it’s actually Mattsun’s and Iwa is just a cover so you can run off with him and Makki. 0/10, does not appreciate.

The closer you get to your due date, however, all jokes are completely off, and Hajime is in full on protective husband/dad mode. Did I mention y’all still ain’t married or

He does literally everything for you just to make sure you aren’t in too much pain or discomfort. Mfer won’t even let you pick up a laundry basket 💀

“Honey, I’m fine! Please, I can’t sit on the couch all day, there’s going to be a permanent imprint from my ass on it.”

“Baby, why is the couch wet?”

“Huh. Guess my water broke.”

Annnnnnd cue Hajime screaming his head off while proceeding to grab your hospital bag packed with clothes, a spare aux cable, and your toiletries, before rushing out to the car, starting it, and driving to the hospital.

Without you.

With that being his only major faux pas, Iwaizumi welcomes fatherhood with open arms. Sure, y’all didn’t have your house yet and a wedding was going to be difficult to plan (though if you’re down for the courthouse, he was in), and he didn’t have enough saved to buy you a ring that screamed “Mrs. Iwaizumi” to him.

But in the mean time, he could not get enough of his girls. Even little things like feeding your daughter or watching tv with her in his arms with you snuggling up to his side made him the absolute softest boy.

It may not have been his ideal situation in the past, but now all he looked forward to was watching your family continue to grow with a few more hopeful additions.

Oikawa;

Well this is awkward. You and Tooru I mean Oikawa broke up a few months ago. Not that it was a particularly bad break up; definitely more on the mutual side.

You wanted to continue pursuing your dreams and he wanted to carry on being a Pro. (Personally, I picture Oikawa being with a musician of some sort that posts covers of YouTube).

So even though you guys aren’t together anymore, you still keep up with how he’s doing in the pro VB world and he low key still watches your covers on the internet.

Your posting becomes less and less frequent, he notices over the span of a few months until you stop uploading all together. He thinks nothing of it until he gets a notification that you’ve finally uploaded a video. Two. Years. Later.

“Where we’ve been.” He doesn’t miss the collective pronoun before clicking on the video, seeing you standing with your guitarist, the former Nekoma VBC captain, Tetsurou Kuroo, as well as a cute, pudgy baby.

A baby that looked nothing like Kuroo and a whole lot like Oikawa did when he was a baby.

The video talks about your hiatus, as well as how you and your now boyfriend/guitarist were enjoying your life as parents and making music was hard with your little boy, and that the two of you needed to prioritize your son first. you introduce your baby, but the first thing Oikawa discovers is that the age of your baby and the duration of yours and Kuroo’s relationship didn’t add up. Don’t ask me why Oikawa knows how long you’ve been together, he has his resources.

Considering the toddler was two, and you and Kuroo had been together for a year. And the baby didn’t look anything like you OR him

Oikawa is flipping out now, and tries everything in his power to get a hold of you. Which oddly enough, wasn’t that hard considering your number is still the same.

“Did you finally figure it out?” Was all you said to him. He’s so upset that you didn’t tell him—that could have been him. Standing with you. Holding his baby—not bed headed fuck holding HIS son.

After FTing him, you, Oikawa, and Kuroo agreed to set up a meeting with all of you so Oikawa could finally meet his flesh and blood. He’s excited, but man oh man is he salty.

He missed his son’s first steps, first meal, holding him, teaching him how to walk, his first words; he missed ALL of it.

But the bitterness he feels completely goes away when he sees baby Oik’s in person for the first time. He had never, in his entire twenty three years of living, been in love until now. Despite your hesitation, you allow Tooru to hold his child for the entirety of your little meeting, allowing him to make up for lost years.

The three of you agreed on a form of joint custody that allowed Oikawa to have his son while you toured or were busy working, and you would have him while he was out doing his thing.

TL;DR, Oikawa takes the opportunity to make up his lost years spoiling the fuck out of his baby when he can and, oddly enough, the arrangement works out to benefit the both of you.

Ngl, parenthood is hard for him. Not because he doesn’t know how to parent, but rather because he never pictured his first child to come about this way. He would never admit it to anybody, not even Iwa, that knowing he had a child that he was barely a father to left him feeling lonely. That loneliness, however, motivates him to truly be the best dad that can be so that maybe when his son his old enough, he would rather live with him instead of his mom

Ofc, he teaches his offspring how to play volleyball as soon as he’s old enough to learn. But outside of that, Oikawa’s favorite thing to do with his son is little quiet nature walks away from the bustling city to have quality time with him.

Hanamaki;

This chill mfer 💀💀💀 for some reason, I feel like his love language is touch.

Your relationship with him was so simple, even after moving in together in your second year of college, years ago.

Well, it was simple.

As simple as life could be with four demons overrunning your house.

Due to the number of children the two of you had, with all of them being no more than two years apart in age, you became a stay-at-home mom, leaving Makki to provide for the six of you.

Because of your hellions wreaking havoc on you all day, Takahiro always wound down from work with the kids by putting on a movie and even reciting the script in his own voice to keep them entertained. Allowing you to go wind down with a glass of wine while you took a bubble bath.

Your oldest was Makki’s right hand man at the ripe age of 7. He always made sure that, as the big brother, he was looking out for his siblings and being the man of the house to help mommy while he worked.

Makki never raises his voice at the kids. Ever. Period.

If he’s upset with them or they did something they weren’t supposed to, he resolves the issue by picking them up, sitting down on the couch with them in his lap and staring at them. “Why did you draw on the walls with crayon, little man?” He would ask the offending five year old boy in the most calm voice.

“I wanted to paint a pretty picture for you and mommy!”

“And we love it. But next time, dude, if you put it on paper, I can bring those pictures to work so I can show everyone else.” Yeah, he calls his sons dude.

If his youngest and only daughter began crying over anything—Makki was on it like flies on shit. Little princess is not allowed to cry in daddy’s presence. He’s always quick to figure out why she’s crying too and, he learned, it’s mostly just because she wanted attention.

“When did you get so good at this?” You’d tease him.

“We’ve had lots of practice, honey.” 💀💀💀

A lot of the time, he felt really bad because he felt that he just kinda left you with the kids while he worked, and he’d be a little insecure. He thinks you’re tired of him and that you want to leave sometimes.

He thinks you don’t notice when he’s upset but he kinda dumb dumb cause you’ve been together for almost half of your lives, ofc you know when he’s upset.

While he’s laying in bed, nonchalantly scrolling through his phone before falling asleep for the night, you sit at his bedside, giving him the look. “C’mon, Takahiro. I can tell when something’s bothering you.” His lips would purse a little bit before locking his phone and putting it on his night stand, then holding whatever hand of yours that was closest to him with both of his.

“Ya ever just...get tired of our life?” Aksfnrjfl WOW THAT CAME OUT WRONG. This is why he prefers touch, he’s shit with words. “Wait no, that’s not what I meant. D-do, uh...a-are you happy?” Wow he really shit with words. Even if this would be conversation y’all would have at least once a year.

But no matter how many times you told him you loved him, he needed to feel it. Why do you think you ended up pregnant nearly every year? “I’m getting my fucking tubes tied after this, Makki.”

Matsukawa;

This goof would be your partner in crime second to Makki of course.

Half the time people kinda forgot you were dating let alone married because the two of you had always been playful and full of laughter; the only change was PDA was sprinkled in.

Sitting in his lap, little pecks during conversations, burying yourself in his neck or him burying himself in your hair, a hand always on your back or your shoulder.

Homies super subtle touchy.

The biggest reminder was when you’d announced your pregnancy to your friends. While Makki was super excited to be an uncle, Oikawa and Iwa were kinda like “y’all actually have sex??” Like you weren’t fucking married??

But whatever, y’all goofy and in love or w/e and it almost seems that the two of you aren’t taking pregnancy seriously. You totally are, but your friends don’t think so.

Coming up with baby names was Issei’s favorite pastime. But he went super left field with a lot of them, so you unfortunately had to veto them.

Painting and preparing the nursery was also an absolute blast. Because you both wanted the gender to be a surprise, y’all painted the room white on top with a full rainbow on the bottom, complete with gender neutral wall decals.

Honestly, he was so so so excited to be a dad. But mostly, he was just so smitten with you. It wasn’t hard for him to, considering the two of you were best friends long before dating.

He definitely turned your ultrasound pictures into memes that he hung in the babies room. “The last time I got pussy” captioned under the first ultrasound was his favorite.

You woke up one day in excruciating amounts of pain—like someone was carving out the muscles in your stomach and separating them from the skin from the inside and you knew something was wrong. “Issei, we gotta go to the hospital now!”

“N-now?” All jokes are gone, all laughter void and absent. “Honey, you’re only at the end of the first trime—“

“I know, idiot! We gotta go now!” You’re sobbing while hunching over your stomach, trying to walk but not succeeding in getting very far. Instead, your husband opts to carry you out to the car before zipping on over.

The sudden appointment had taken hours and the both of you felt drained. Well, you actually were. All of the pain you had experienced earlier in the day did not compare to the devastating blow of hearing that you had a miscarriage.

Silence fills every space that the two of you were in but, knowing you as well as he did, Mattsun refused to leave your side. Even if you had to pee.

“Babe, I have to pee.”

“Cool, which bathroom do we wanna use?” He wasn’t making jokes for the sake of being funny, which was the reason you allowed him to sit on the edge of the tub while you handled your business, holding your fingers in loose threads. It’s weird, but this was not a time for either of you to be alone to indulge your demons.

“We’re gonna get through this.” His arms would wrap around you from behind, carefully folding over your once filled womb, with his head resting on top of your own. “Just you and me, babe, against the world.”

“And Makki.”

“And Makki.”

#aoba johsai #seijoh #haikyuu!! imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcannons #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #dad!fics #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa tōru #oikawa doesnt get a happy ending lmao #i love him tho #hanamaki takahiro #haikyuu hanamaki #hanamaki x reader #makki x reader #mattsun #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa issei #aobajohsai

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

The Name Written on My Heart

Sequel to Name on a Coffee Cup  requested by Anon. Happy Valentines/Galentines Day my darlings! 

Modern!Tommy and Ava continue their relationship outside the cafe.

             After his first date with Ava, Tommy felt like his heart was slowly being restarted. After Grace passed, he assumed that the rest of his love would be given to Charlie. But even then, he felt like he was failing.

            Oftentimes his son would much rather go spend the day with his aunts or uncles or have playdates with friends. Polly assured him that it was natural for the young boy to want to be independent as he got older. But still, Tommy felt like he was always the second pick for Charlie and he was afraid it was because he just wasn’t enough for the boy. 

            When Ava began to spend time at Tommy’s flat, Charlie gravitated toward her like a magnet. Not that Tommy could blame him. She was much better at interacting with him. She wasn’t afraid to get down to his level to play and go along with his wild imagination. Still, Tommy was a bit dismayed he wasn’t the kind of father Charlie needed.

            Until he subconsciously took cues from Ava to relax a bit. He wasn’t as strict and felt like his relationship with Charlie was getting better and more natural.

~~~~~~~~~~

            On the other hand, Tommy was easing back into a serious relationship. There were a few roadblocks along the way. Around Halloween one year, Ava came over to carve pumpkins and bake some sugar cookies in the shape of bats and ghosts. Charlie had a ball and demanded that Monster Mash be played over and over again as he darted around the living room on a sugar high. When he finally crashed, Tommy carried him to bed before helping Ava clean up the mess in the kitchen.

            “It’s late.” She noted.

            “Yeah, I’ll drive you home. Don’t want you taking the tube this late.”

            “Oh.” Ava glanced by the door where she’d left her bag. The bag that she had packed a change of clothes and her toothbrush in. Her face went red as she realized how stupid it was that she thought it would be the first night she might sleepover.  

            Tommy read her expression and paused. They’d been dating for quite some time. Almost two years at that point. He was even beginning to think that maybe they would spend the rest of their lives together. He could certainly see it happening, even if it was a bit soon to know for sure. And yet, there was always that hesitation that he felt. The protectiveness he had for Charlie. The thought that Tommy didn’t deserve love. The fear that he would lose someone else that he cared so deeply about.

            “I understand, it’s alright,” Ava said as if she could read his mind.

            Tommy didn’t move for a moment. Half of him wanted her to stay, half of him wanted to just drive her home so he could be by himself. Something he thought he deserved. She was far too kind and forgiving for him. Far too sensible. Far too sweet. Far too understanding.

            “Stay.” The word came out before Tommy could realize what he’d said. “I want you to stay. You belong here…you’re perfect with Charlie and you get him better than I do. I know I don’t deserve you but I would do anything to have you here, even if it’s just for a night.”

            Ava hugged him close and kissed his cheek. “I think you’re selling yourself too short.” She murmured. “Charlie adores you and so do I.”

            Tommy took a deep breath and held her for a moment before she slipped away.

            “C’mon, let’s take care of this mess so we can go to bed.” She smiled at him.

~~~~~~~~~~

            It was what Tommy loved about her so much. She made having emotions so much easier. There was no big spectacle of it, she never called him out for feeling upset or depressed. She always knew exactly what to say.

            The next year, once Ava’s lease was up, she moved into Tommy’s flat. Charlie was overjoyed that he had there every day. And she meshed perfectly with their schedules. On the days that she was opening the café, she woke up early, around the same time Tommy did. They went about their morning routines and welcomed in Charlie’s nanny who would wake up the boy for school. When Ava worked later shifts, she took care of getting Charlie to school on time. It worked exceptionally well.

            Almost to a point where Tommy expected things to go wrong. Everything was going too well and he became very suspicious. About a year after Ava moved in, Tommy self-sabotaged.

~~~~~~~~~~~

            One night, Ava had gone out with friends from uni that she hadn’t seen in a while. Tommy was up late working at the flat when she came home. Although a little tipsy, she was coherent as she kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

            “I take it you had fun then.” Tommy chuckled.

            “It really was. Of course, we didn’t close the pub like we did back in those days. My ex-boyfriend wanted to stay but we were all so tired.” She laughed softly.

            It set off a trigger inside Tommy. “Didn’t know your ex would be there.”

            “Our whole friend group was. We’ve been planning a little reunion like this for a while.” Ava didn’t immediately pick up on his icy tone.

            Tommy set down his pen and leaned back in his desk chair with his arms crossed over his chest. “Just something I thought you’d tell me.”

            “I didn’t think it would matter.” She frowned and withdrew her arms. “It doesn’t bother you, does it?”

            He didn’t answer, looking ahead at his laptop on a home screen.

            “Tommy, honestly.” Ava tried again to make him talk with no avail. “We dated years ago. I’ve been dating you longer than I’ve ever dated anyone else. You really think I’d throw that all away?”

            Tommy simply shrugged.

            She scoffed at his attempt to be blasé to the issue when she knew he was stewing inside. “You’re impossible.” With a huff, she stormed out of the room and went to the bedroom, locking the door behind her.

 ~~~~~~~~

            The next day was even worse. After spending the night on the couch, Tommy felt like an ass for what he’d done. Although it wasn’t an argument like they’d had before, it still cut deep. He had basically spelled out that he didn’t trust her. It wasn’t entirely true. Tommy trusted Ava because it was unlike her to be unfaithful. But he didn’t trust the world. He’d seen what could happen to good people. In his eyes, Ava had a target on her back because of her tendency to be so warm-hearted and vulnerable.

            That morning, Ava had left before Tommy could even get a word of apology in. She didn’t answer his texts throughout the day and it drove him insane. He had to settle for the breakroom coffee because he couldn’t gather up the courage to go down to the café and face Ava.

            The rest of the office picked up on the fact that he was in a sour mood. All but Arthur, who walked in whistling to himself.

            “So, what’ve you got planned for Valentine’s Day?” The eldest Shelby asked.

            Tommy looked up from his paperwork, then to the calendar on his desk. Indeed, Valentine’s Day was that weekend. He’d ordered a custom bracelet for Ava and had it hidden in his desk drawer. But other than that, he’d completely forgotten. “I’m not sure.” He mumbled. “I upset her last night.”

            Arthur sighed. “Tom, we’ve talked about this. You don’t think you deserve happiness so you ruin your own life. You can make it up to her. Just put on the ‘ol charm, aye?”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~` 

            Ava was giving Tommy the silent treatment for most of the week. He felt it was deserved and just prayed Arthur was right and that he could redeem himself.

            Come Sunday, Ava came home from work. She still felt hurt, especially since Tommy appeared to have forgotten it was even Valentine’s Day. But then Charlie rushed to the door.

            “Ava, Ava!” He was bouncing up and down. “C’mon!” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen.

            Tommy was chopping up vegetables. He glanced up and smiled sheepishly.

            Ava looked a bit confused. “What’s all this?” There was an array of items all laid out on the counter. Balls of dough were resting on cutting boards next to little bowls of toppings.

            “I asked Charlie what we could do special for Valentine’s Day.”

            “And I wanted pizza!” The little boy piped up. “Look, he climbed up onto a stool and patted the dough.

            A small smile formed on Ava’s face. “Well, that looks fun.” She said and walked over.

            “Here, Charlie,” Tommy handed his son the rolling pin. “Try to flatten it, but not too thin.” Then he turned to Ava.

            “So, you were scheming today, huh?” She asked.

            “Av, I’m sorry.” He took her hands in his. “Whenever I have a good thing, I never think I deserve it. And you’re one of the best things I’ve ever had.”

            “I don’t want you pushing me away.” She replied quietly. “If you have an issue, tell me. I’m here to be your confidant.”

            Tommy nodded and took a deep breath. He kissed her softly.

            “Daddy, s’a square pizza!” Charlie exclaimed.

            The two pulled away and chuckled. Indeed, the little boy had rolled the dough out into a square.

            “I guess it’ll taste the same.” Ava smiled and went over to help him.

            Tommy lingered to the side a bit, watching her with Charlie. The two laughed as they made a mess with the sauce and cheese.

            This was a good thing. He would hold onto the good and keep it close to his heart. Everyone deserved love. Tommy was just thankful that he had Ava and Charlie.

            “Daddy, look,” Charlie called.

            Tommy chuckled when he saw a smiley face made of pepperoni on the pizza. “Why don’t you make it a heart? It’s Valentine’s Day.”

            His son made a face. “That’s yucky.”

            “Oh, Charles, you won’t be my Valentine?” Ava pouted.

            “No, gross. Girls are gross.”

            “Are they, then?” Tommy raised an eyebrow then went to give Ava a big dramatic kiss.

            “EW!” Charlie pulled his shirt over his head to hide his face.

            They laughed. “Alright, alright. I guess your dad will be my Valentine. And maybe we can add a nose to the smiley face.” Ava put another piece of pepperoni on the pizza. “Go on and add some peppers and onions. I’ve got to get your Valentine gifts.” She washed her hands and went down the hall.

            Tommy took the cue and grabbed Ava’s necklace from his briefcase.

            Ava returned with two wrapped gifts. “Charlie, love, this is from dad and me.” She gave him a box which he happily tore into to find an art supply kit.

            “Wow, cool! Thanks!” He beamed.

            Ava and Tommy exchanged gifts as well. He opened his to find a photograph of his newest racehorse with his name, Kingsman, carved into the silver frame.

            “To add to your collection.” She smiled knowing that Tommy kept a photo of all of his winning horses in his office.

            “I love it.” He remarked at the stunning picture of the pure black stallion.

            Ava didn’t answer. She had opened the jewelry box to find the silver necklace with a teardrop diamond pendant. She had never owned anything so beautiful before. “Tom…” Her eyes welled up with tears.

            “D’you like it?” He asked hesitantly.

            “Of course.” Her voice shook. “It’s gorgeous, thank you.” She touched his cheek and kissed him deeply.

            “Daddy, I don’t like mushrooms, I’m not putting mushrooms on the pizza.” Charlie interrupted them.

            “Alright, it was worth a shot.” Tommy sighed and went back over to the counter.

            “That looks very nice, Charlie.” Ava praised. “Why don’t we let dad put it in the oven and we can check out your new art supplies.”

            “Okay!” Charlie hopped down from the stool and carried the box to the kitchen table.

            Ava kissed Tommy’s cheek. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” She said softly.

//It felt so funny writing the tube. Like I feel like it’s some sort of slang that Americans think British people use but they don’t? In my city we call the subway the T. That’s also stupid but our subway lines are bastards who don’t deserve full names or loving nicknames. Fuck you T. 

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe @evelynshelby

PB Masterlist

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelbyxoc #tommy shelbyxofc #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders #one shot #cillian murphy

[jjkpls]

crayons ‘net’ (finale) (PG)

> genre : fluffy fluff, light angst, comedy

> pairing : kim namjoon x reader

> words : 4k

> warnings : none (except a rusty quill)

>Y/N, a primary school teacher, is way too soft for the quiet, timid new child in her class. Little did she know, the adult version, who engendered this cutie, is even more charming.

> prior

Time heals every wound.

Even the deepest, bloodiest ones, alike the ones inflicted to the ego. 

It felt like you wouldn’t ever get over how embarrassed you'd felt but you did, to a certain degree, get over it. The fact that Mr Kim didn’t appear before you for a few weeks helped a little, and the one that Jimmy was doing great -way better than you had expected, somehow, after overcoming the very first difficult step, he’s been able to improve profusely, consistently- helped immensely.

You felt like you've done your part regarding him and his overall situation at home. You helped as you could, you pushed the buttons just waiting to be pushed, needing that little extra help, and on his own, progressively, Jimmy’s found himself influenced by his environment and naturally, has been learning to adapt to it.

You shouldn’t interfere anymore is what you keep telling yourself. But for the past week and a half, after the class has been long dismissed, you've been seeing his little backpack, with the two bear ears decorating the top, skimming through the hallway as Jimmy's little legs shuffle to keep up with Adrianne‘s energetic walk. If you don’t see them, you hear them, or more accurately you hear her, talking to him, or mostly to herself, out loud as she furnishes the quietness of the corridors after all the children have left. 

The curiosity is eating you alive. You resist for as long as you can until you break, grabbing your mug in one hand and your dustbin in the other, not sure which one is a better excuse to be bursting in her way, and you catch them exiting one of the adjacent classrooms. Adrianne seems shocked, startles, and you mimic her as well as you can, feigning a coincidence. 

“What are you doing with this? You know I was going to take care of it.” 

“Oh, you know...” And you see that she doesn’t know but you don’t either and you have no idea what to add. Therefore simply you drop the subject altogether and start with what you're interested in. “Jimmy, why are you still here?” You ask kindly, tending a finger forward to swipe back one of his lock falling on his face. He doesn’t flinch nor winces at the gesture. You internally smile. Only half committed to answering, he looks back at you simply shrugging, pouty mouth twisting a bit. 

“His daddy is always late. I think they don’t have a nanny anymore.” 

“Oh is that right?”

“Hm. So little Jimmy keeps me company while I clean the rooms. I have to do the rooms, even if it can't be too fun for a little boy. Is it fun, Jimmy?” 

And Jimmy nods, quite eagerly even though he can’t possibly be sincere. Especially given the fact that if Adrienne is a lovely respectable woman that you appreciate dearly, you can’t deny that her boisterous voice with her tendency to go on and on no matter the lack of encouragement from the other end, can’t be too pleasing, especially after a full day of working the brain. You're guilty of sometimes closing your door when you stay late in your class to quiet down her ranting to herself as she goes from room to room to tidy up.

“Do you want to leave him with me? It’d be more convenient for you.” You're not exactly sure what motivates you as you suggest it. You can tell, from the line her eyebrows are drawing, that even if she won’t express it in front of him, having to watch over him and take him along on her route is not the most practical, definitely must make her waste time and efficiency. Still, you're not even sure why you propose to relieve her.

You just like the kid, you suppose. 

You ask yourself the question, actively, as Jimmy and you silently stroll back to your classroom. It’s only when you take a seat, him at his desk and you at yours, that you see the pile of today's writing exercises the kids submitted to you that an idea occurs. 

You're not sure of the ways your brain works. It seems to be working backwards recently. 

You decide you could teach him. Jimmy, if he’s not lost behind his other classmates, is still lacking a bit. Having started life in a whole different culture, being suddenly thrown in this new one, having to learn a new language on top of another drastically different one, while being lost in a sea of other children, the same age as him, but somehow way ahead of him, all of this is, you suspect, one of the main reasons why he doesn’t like to participate. His father had a point on that. And you want to give him the tools, the confidence to simply try. 

But it’s not like you can work over basis the other children mastered subconsciously, effortlessly, already long ago the few years of their lives. 

Here comes an opportunity though. Late afternoon classes, while waiting for his dad, assuming his schedule will keep allowing you the time.

“Thanks a lot. I’m sorry again, I’ve had a little issue with the lady who took care of him and-“

“It’s fine. Don’t apologise. Have a nice evening. I see you tomorrow Jimmy?”

You're all smiles and soft words but you don’t give Mr Kim much attention. Not meeting his eyes, facing towards Jimmy instead of him. You're not being petty. It’s simply the warmth who started spreading along your neck and cheeks as soon as you heard the opening of the main hall door from the distance, highly uncomfortable and impossible to ignore. You thought you were over it but clearly, you were wrong. Not seeing him directly for those few weeks of resting was entirely misleading. 

He is now standing in front of you and you have this awful feeling again, the one that’s making you feel like you regret every single life choice ever made by your own stupid self, any swipe of a butterfly’s wings that led to this moment. 

You're effective though. Not wasting any spare moment, as gently as possible, yet firmly, you intimate their way out.

This is how it goes.

Somehow he allows it to happen. From his stalling around, the way his lips open slightly full of intention but nothing ever coming out, he means to say something. He feels the awkwardness, the tension. He perhaps wishes to diffuse it but as polite and agreeable as you naturally show yourself to be, you're able to show yourself cold and distant.

You've given up on this anyway.

You don't know what this is, precisely. And you do not care to figure it out. You know it's not something reasonable, something you want to spend time thinking about. It's something that won't lead you anywhere, it's something that had never started yet made you do dumb craps and feel awful. So, screw this.

Carefully, meticulously, you apply the same routine to every single day. Mr Kim's schedule does happen to allow those extra courses. For a while, it's simply how it goes.

Until embarrassment -this bitchy disease- seems to grow on his side. You're not sure where it comes from, maybe he misinterprets your attitude, take it too personally. In any case, he grows weary of the time and energy he seems to believe he's making you waste on them.

He starts arriving, forehead soaked from how hard he runs to get to the school not too late. Sometimes he manages to be right on time and Jimmy doesn't even get to come back to you, escorted by Adrienne, for a quick reading of a short story or a low, very discreet recitation of a short poetry you've learned together before. In those cases, you're annoyed, and so is Jimmy -you can tell, from the puff of his cheeks and even sometimes, from the way he refuses to raise his eyes from whatever you're working on, purposefully ignoring the loudness of his dad appearing before you two, not ready as he is to go home yet.

Therefore, naturally, you have to talk to him.

It's not a pleasant thought. You're not enthused at the idea, you don't even know what to tell him incisively but you know, you have to talk to him.

It's all ridiculous. Jimmy has made progress even you didn't imagine possible. He's almost good to go and expend his freedom born from a tiny, shy but very much existing newfound confidence. But you like your late afternoon classes. And you know he does too. Also, he doesn't have much interaction with anyone besides his father. From what the later told you, even talking with his cousins is a challenge he struggles to submit himself to.

And there's his mom, gone, never to come back. Your heart aches each time you think about it. It's not your place, you have to remind yourself constantly. Yet, you can't help it. Because somehow maybe it is. You're not sure what that place is but maybe there's one for you. One that is a strange, coincidental, sort of fated little space for you to fill, for a little while, that will mark him enough to help him through this awful test Life had for him and possibly, even, later on in life.

Life is strange. It's filled with curious encounters with strangers that leave a trace within you, that you'll carry forever. They can hurt and engrave a nasty scar that'll affect you forever or the opposite, they can help heal, help bloom hope, inspire friendship and love and benevolence.

Somehow, even throughout your constant reminding yourself that you should not get too involved, you should not care so much as to let it affect your everyday life and state of mind and emotions, you've done exactly that. You don't exactly regret it.

It's a thing, so stupid and useless, that makes it feel like you regret it.

Because now, you have to talk to his dad and explain to him, fully, with sentences and blanks for him to answer and probably looks to spare his way for polite measures, what you've been doing and how it's more than fine that he's late after the classes end because it allows you time to spend together and work on a lot of different essential things.

"You had something to say to me?"

God. You don't want to talk to him.

You've been dreading this moment so hard for the past week that your steeping anxiety turned into deep aggravation and you can't stand looking at him. Just seeing him makes you angry.

"Mr Kim, I've told you multiple times before not to worry when you're late." He frowns a little, looking back at your severe gaze, confused. He nods slowly, not saying anything, and you assume it's because he isn't really in capacity of speaking right now. Not when his breath is so ragged and his brain probably dizzy from the race he submitted himself to from his office. "Yet you keep running in my class every day, all dishevelled and- and all-"

"But. But I shouldn't bother you-"

"Mr Kim. You are bothering me by not listening. What I've tried to tell you is that Jimmy and I can take advantage of your schedule.” Deep breathing in and out to calm down and slow the high ladder your voice naturally wants to climb, and you start again, only slightly less on edge. “If you're late, we can work on things we can't do during the day with his classmates. Haven't you noticed his improvements?"

"I- I did but-"

"But what?" You're plain rude. Arms crossed tight on your chest, eyebrows low above your eyes, sighing and almost tapping your foot on the floor. You look like a cartoonish version of an angry teacher. In other words, you look ridiculous. It's not justified whatsoever. Or more like, the reasons you're so mad are ridiculous and absolutely not related to his being thoughtful of the time he might be stealing from you by letting you, sort of, babysit his kid after your official work hours. You'll be embarrassed by it later.

He's cartoonish too. With his helpless "but-" and sheepish looks. Until he's not anymore. He has the shadow of a grin creeping on one corner of his lips.

"Feels like you're scolding me, Miss ___." He bites back a smile. His forehead has softened out, his gaze gentler and calmer, he doesn't seem to take personally your attack. Which he should but whatever. It's even more annoying because smiles look really nice on him and it's hard to stay as mad as you'd been when the dimples coupled with them are hinting their way on his honey cheeks.

"Precisely. I wouldn't have to if you'd just do what I'm asking of you." He beams blatantly now, having decided that somehow you're not mad anymore. As you said, staying angry when the softest looking dimples you've ever seen on anyone dig their way in his cheeks is an impossible task. And Your frown progressively turns into a barely upset pout.

A ridiculous, childish pout of a stupid child who's upset about being teased and flustered.

"You really like your students that much?" He asks, tone sweeter, not in a rush to obtain an answer. You're thankful for it because you wouldn't know how to express how you feel.

You do like your students “that much”. You like people. You want the best for them and you know how those couple of first years living in the world, experiencing it and its beings populating it are determining. You're not too crazy about all of them because some, unfortunately, have already been rubbed with distasteful attitudes by distasteful parents. But for the most part, you do love them a whole lot.

Also, you really like Jimmy Kim, for some reasons. He just directly affects your heartstrings and you simply can not help it. If you just wish the best for anyone, and especially for your students, for Jimmy, you wish even more. You wish only happy days and wonderful experiences and people. Maybe it's the sadness you read for months since you first met him in your class, reinforced by the newly glint of joy and excitement you've been catching recently.

It's all very abstract and confusing and hardly decipherable. So much so that simply trying to figure out your emotions, to convey them into an answer for him, you feel yourself getting emotional. You think he even notices. Therefore, simply, you settle for not much,

"Jimmy is a really sweet kid."

"I'm grateful for you noticing it." Mr Kim starts before taking a deep breath. "I just feel like you're too nice to us. I don't know if- I mean, maybe that's what you do for every family and if it's the case, it's- it's wonderful, very kind of you. But- I mean, don't you, I don't know, you must have your life to get back to. After work, even if I like my job, all I want is leave and you know, get back to my life."

"My job is my life, Mr Kim. I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to."

"It can't be all of it. You- you must- I don't know, want to go home to your boyfriend and go out with your friends and unwind and do fun things and I'm just trapping you here to care for-" You're ticking at that. Bold of him to assume that you have a boyfriend. Fortunately for you, you've learned from your mistakes and you know better, this time, than to correct him. You're not falling into that trap again.

"Mr Kim-"

"Namjoon." You raise an eyebrow, searching your brain for an explanation you missed. "My name. Sorry. You keep calling me Mr Kim and it feels weird."

"I-" It takes you a second to compose yourself. The firepit of rage has a little blaze threatening to bring the whole back to life and consume your whole gut. "Listen. You expressed your concerns. I listened to them. From that, I said that not only did I not mind, I wanted to take this opportunity. So now, the reasonable thing to do is to simply accept what I said. I'm not deceiving you but even if I were, it's my problem, you don't have to worry anymore, do you understand?" How can someone so concerned about making you waste your time can also waste it so expertly and your energy and sanity along with it? He, Namjoon, just stares for a second. His eyes then fall upon his son, a couple of meters away. You're both standing in the hallway while the boy sits patiently at his table, in the back, far enough for him not to hear a simple conversation but given your tendency to heat up for no proper reasons, you're worried he catches bits of the friction. He seems pretty engrossed in the book he's looking at though.

You observe his dad, watching over him, frowning. "Except if you have a problem with me." As on a reflex, his head spins around for his wide eyes to face you. "You do, don't you? You have a problem with me and that's why you're being so difficult!" He gasps, looking awfully offended but you can't even trust it. It'd make way more sense. It's all making sense. "Well, fine, but just say it then, instead of-"

"I don't have a problem with you!"

"Yes, you do. It's obvious. I don't even know how I haven't noticed before..."

"I don't have a problem with you, Miss ___!" Jimmy has definitely noticed now. He's watching you from his seat, four rows away. Curiously, he doesn't seem too fazed. He seems intrigued by the noise but not that concerned. "You're doing so much for us and I feel burdened because I want to give back to you but there's no way- I don't- nothing seems appropriate and I don't know what to do."

"You don't owe me anything, Mr Kim."

"I want to. Can't you be reasonable and accept that?" On his side, the fury has diminished, only a fading shadow remains, colouring his words into something more animated than his usual way of talking. "I really like you, I don't have a problem with you. I'm so thankful for you just entering our lives, sincerely. I'm sorry if I gave a wrong impression." Here comes the awkward tingle that has no right to be appearing. You have to chastise yourself, to rationalize, loud and clear to your delusional all-over-the-place heart, that his thoughts got lost and distorted by translation. He can't mean what he said no matter how much, apparently, your heart would like it.

"Well, ok, then." It's lame. Not very eloquent, pretty self-reflecting. But this man is a rollercoaster. It's hard to adapt and honestly, it's a miracle he hasn't thrown you out of the circuit. You don't know how to react. How to come back down from your suspicious accusations, from your childish outburst, from your giddy excitement at the words he didn't really mean the way you heard them.

That will do anyway. Deciding that most of your issue has been settled and that probably, by continuing this conversation, you're taking the risk to lose it again and possibly traumatized innocent Jimmy this time, you conclude, on a common agreement, the impromptu meeting. Mr Kim goes to help Jimmy pack up his stuff and slip his vest on.

They express goodbye to you, Jimmy waving quickly a hand half-hidden by his sleeve, Mr Kim nodding his head, lips tight as if not meaning to take the risk of saying something wrong.

"Have a nice weekend. See you on Monday, Jimmy."

Then Mr Kim stops in his track, his son bumping into his leg and almost falling to the ground if it were not for the strong grip keeping him upward by the hand. They were just about to reach the entry doors, a few steps away only from them. Mr Kim crouches to his son's height, says something to him, one of his hand cupping the side of his face, fingers brushing his cheek before he stands up, trotting quickly to you, still standing in the doorway of your classroom.

"Miss ___." He's slightly out of breath, weirdly enough for a man who keeps in shape, at least, with the daily runs he makes from his work to his son's school.

"Do you like running that much?" He smiles a bright, wide grin that makes your heart skips a bit.

"I don't actually." He stops and throws a look over his shoulder, towards his son. "There's something I meant to ask but as I said, I feel it might be too inappropriate."

"Ask away."

"If it is, please just say so and ignore me and let's just pretend I've never said anything, ok?"

"Fine. Ask your scandalous question." He looks boyish for a second. Swallowing hard, Adam's apple bobbing obnoxiously along his throat, glancing one more time to Jimmy before he finally gets to it.

"Would you allow me to treat you to a restaurant some time?" You can't deny it, the flutter from earlier is back, stronger than ever. You're so enchanted, feeling tickly all over, like a fucking fifteen-year-old being asked on a date for the first time. It's absurd. Because you're not even sure that's what he means, again. This time, even if you're frustrated and flustered and you want to get mad at him for putting you through this, you can't because the unfamous butterflies are too excited, celebrating the sudden blooming of a garden full of flowers in the pit of your stomach.

"Like a... 'thanks for being the best teacher for my kid' type of diner?"

"Maybe." He has a pout on his mouth his teeth bite on. His eyes are smiling at the corner, but they hold a sheepish hesitation. You don't know if you can trust your perception. He does look like you imagine yourself to look like right now. You wonder if he feels the same way too. Or if, once again, you're imagining a lot of things that are not there.

"Ok. With great pleasure."

You're a coward. You know that. But it's ok, you decide. Because if it turns out to be a date, surely you'll figure it out, won't you?

There's a little stalling moment. A short instant where eyes discuss silently. They're better at speaking then your mouths are. Not arguing, meeting somewhere they understand each other and you have an evident sense of comfort there you're scared to lean in, but that screams at you that there's something very soft and gentle and deeper than simple politeness floating around. He nods, smiling to you or to himself, until he waves you goodbye, quite alike Jimmy did earlier and then he's trotting again, this time back to his son.

It feels like you're walking on some sort of stilts, jumpy, giddy, too excited to just saunter back in your classroom. On your table there's a drawing you've never seen before, sitting next to the neat pile of your documents. It's an adorable, colourful illustration of a girl. With the blue hair and the purple eyes, you hesitate for a second, but after further observation -the similar dress and hairstyle help- you conclude it's a portrait of you. A lovely portrait of you Jimmy has made, while his father and you discussed, that he left on your desk for you to find.

A/N: what an abrupt ending lmao; sorry i couldn’t figure something better out. I really hope you liked it, thank you SO MUCH for reading :) kisses & hugz

#btswriterscollective #networkbangtan #thekimlinenet #bts fluff #bts angst #bts drabble #bts scenario #namjoon fluff #namjoon angst #namjoon drabble #namjoon scenario #my writing

[calypsoff]

Forty.

I have created a monster; Robyn has gone wedding mode. Even though her family don’t know about her grande idea she is looking at themes, she is calling someone to come for her dress, this all happened as soon as I woke up, she didn’t even eat breakfast with me, I mean she is sat with me but she is too busy booking and looking at themes. Apparently I have to wait until she’s figured out a theme and my suit has to match; I haven’t even told my mother about this. I can’t believe she wants to get married next month; I am about to be a whole husband this quick. I wanted to enjoy engagement first, we haven’t even let people digest this, but I can’t just be like this with her. I have to let her do her thing, she is so happy, and I love to see that with Robyn but it’s scary “I have so much to do, I can’t wait to go back home now. Wait till my family find out” Robyn finally placed her phone down “same” I mumbled, I am just in deep thought “that rum punch really got to me, not even going to front. Like drinking that really pushed me over the edge” Robyn is laughing but she knows what she did, she knows that would have happened “you think I am being selfish? I just sense you looking at me with a deep sigh, please talk to me” fixing my snapback on my head “I wouldn’t say selfish, I just. It’s hectic, we just announced we engaged and now married, niggas already assume I am with you because of you being Rihanna, they will point the finger at me saying he wanted that. I don’t want you to say anything to anyone but that is just how I feel about it, I haven’t even had the chance to build my money up, I just wanted more for me you know. I just wanted that because I hate being judged, the wedding being paid by you. I can’t afford the lavish things, not right now. It’s just weird to be like sat here and expecting you to pay for everything, I just don’t like it, it doesn’t sit comfortable with me Robyn. You know how I feel about that shit, like I get it that out there I am under you, I have accepted that, it’s been hard. I have had to accept it, being in recovery with my leg, I thought it through, and I had to accept that out there I am Rihanna’ boyfriend, fiancé, husband or whatever I am. But it will always be Rihanna and then me, I have accepted that but here, in this room. Alone, we are equal, and I want it to be Chris and Robyn, and I feel like it’s taken from me and I can’t stop that feeling. I just needed time but I am not going to get that so I will accept it, and we are going half in this wedding, or I won’t be there” I am being deadass too, Robyn and I just stared at each other.

Licking my lips “this isn’t even me being hard-headed because I know that I can be like that with you. But I need my own sanity, I need to know I have some power in this relationship. And I am not just going to sit here and accept what you will say next, you don’t worry about where I get the money from, but we are going half on this wedding because it’s our wedding, take it as you like. But I am not being mean or rude, I woke up thinking and it just hit me. So yeah, I hope that you aren’t offended, and you can understand it from my point of view, I want us to discuss things. Like the whole staying here, that wasn’t even on the agenda. I knew about the home you are getting for your mother but what makes you think I haven’t got things planned for you? I am not a mind reader; I am not telling you off. Maybe I am but you need to talk to me on things, and I want you to understand that you won’t always get your way, out there you’re Rihanna, here you’re Robyn so I want you to act like a wife and a partner to me because telling me you are staying here, and discussions are two different things. I have had a chance to grow Robyn, I really have. Because if this was pre-shot Chris. I wouldn’t have got engaged, I would have probably put the phone down on you once you told me you were staying here, you told me. I let it go but I shouldn’t have, it bugged me. So this is me discussing how I feel, because that is how my dad would have done it” I am not sure if Robyn is upset with me, or she is ok with that I said, I don’t know what to say.

I really let loose, I don’t know what happened to me, but I just needed to say it because it’s a lot, marriage is a lot and I don’t want this throughout my marriage “wow” Robyn finally said something “not in a bad way but I wasn’t expecting this” she pointed “your lowered but firm tone not erratic like you used to be, erm. Maybe my attitude towards what I said to you was not good, it’s a learning curb for me also, yes we are young. We are still getting used to things, but I didn’t mean it, I know where I stand now, I am shocked” she is a speechless, not like Robyn “yeah, I just had to say it. I woke up feeling that way, it came to mind. I want our marriage to work but I disapprove of you bringing things up to me, just telling me. I want you to have some respect towards me, I want our home to be our home. I want our kids to know that at home it’s daddy and mommy, not mommy and then daddy that is at home for us because mommy is better. Because kids see that, if you want kids you can’t just be calling and be like I am going here, talk soon. Leave me like that, it’s not happening. As my wife, I want you to discuss things, like you’re going to London after Barbados, you didn’t tell me that either. What about me? What if I wanted you in Cali? I want to know I am also priority for you. I am not here to ride on your money Robyn, that is a no. I want us to be equal, but I know out there it won’t ever be that, I have accepted that but I just need something, and there may be times where I disapprove, don’t ever think I will say yes too. Same with me, I could call you and say I am going Canada to hang with Drake, and then put the phone down. How angry would you be? Now if I called you, said twin, what you are doing. And you said oh I am in London, and I have done this, and I said is it ok to go to Canada, Drake and I want to hang out unless we up to something or you coming home? Communication has to happen, I have been through shit Robyn, therapy has opened my eyes, and I am not the same nigga I was, and I don’t want to be” I laughed “I sound like we in therapy, but I been having so many sessions, I am used to it” I chuckled.

I am really doing too much “you sound like that fifteen year old Chris that would tell me about doing good in school, that he needs to do this to get in the basketball team. You sound just like that, when you spoke to me about people misunderstanding me about my accent, how you lifted me up in a good way and you said that who cares when I understand you, I still remember wow” Robyn got a little emotional “I uhm, wow. Chris, you are just like the guy I met. And I am sorry, I have spent a lot of years like this, I tell and do. That is me, I need to incorporate you. I am sorry, hearing it from you. It sounds terrible but I just want to go back on the home life, I would never disrespect you in front of our kids, I had seen too much with my parents, if we had issues I would want it to be dealt in private. And even out there I would never think any less of you, I want to thank you for talking to me. You didn’t let it escalate and it would have blown up into an argument. I personally just want to get married because there is no reason to be engaged but that is fine, the wedding won’t be expensive. I am doing it in my hometown; it will be just the important people here anyways. We can go half on it but it came up, like my dad said it. I didn’t want to say it to you but you’re my soon to be husband so you should know, my dad said make him sign a prenup, and I goes huh? Why would I do that, and I shut it down and said that what we do has nothing to do with him, but it was uncalled for and that is something I would never do. When I use my money to make you better or whatever, I do it because I can afford too and also money means nothing to me, I have never been so happy in my life” I really hate her dad “he has a fetish with your money, he is just pinning it on me like I am desperate for your money but it’s actually him” shaking my head “I think honestly, he is what he is and I just can only say ok, and ignore him. He is a bad man, but my brothers like him around” Robyn shrugged “I really hate that nigga” I do.

“I didn’t want to tell you that, but I felt like I should because you are my priority, as my husband you should know these things. I can get a little carried away and yes I need to at times step back, I am really sorry for making you feel that way because it wasn’t meant to come out like that” smiling lightly at Robyn “it’s ok, I just wanted to speak about it, and we did. So what you got planned? You all on wedding mode now, we supposed to be going to your childhood home?” she has been so busy doing wedding things “I know sorry, I just been thinking on things. The wedding will be intimate, like I am not inviting all my friends. I don’t want the wedding to be expensive because it won’t be, if you want we can marry in Vegas” she keeps saying this “no, it’s fine. I just think moving forward, communication but like please, we need a family home. But let me know how much things will be” getting up from the seat, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Robyn’ lips “you forgive me right? I am sorry, I don’t like to make you sad but also to hear you talk the way you have. I am so glad to have my poppa back” I chuckled moving back to walk off “I am going to have a shower, get ready to go” I am also angry, I am not even mad at her, more at what her dad said about me, he had no fucking right to say what he did, who the fuck thinks about prenup.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

[nessafms]

new  york’s  very  own  NESSA  LOCKE  was  spotted  on  broadway  street  in  𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓶𝔂  𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸  𝓿𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓪  𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻  𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓵  𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓼  .  your  resemblance  to  kylie  jenner  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  have  your  twenty  two  birthday  bash  .  while  living  in  nyc  ,  you’ve  been  labeled  as  being  finicky  ,  but  also  alluring  .  i  guess  being  a  scorpio  explains  that  .  3  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  expensive  diamonds  clinging  to  delicate  fingers  ,  makeup  swatches  on  tan  skin , &  wine  induced  giggles  .

GREETINGS  ,   cuties  .   i’m  gi  ,  9teen  ,  and  go  by  she  and  her  pronouns  .  i  kind  of  suck  at  introductions  ?  so  please  excuse  all  of  the  rambling  and  unnecessary  comments  that  are  throughout  this  .   nessa  is  kind  of  my  baby  ?  so  im  super  super  excited  to  bring  her  into  this  group  and  play  her  once  again  and  even  more  excited  to  write  with  all  of  you  !!!!!!   everything  you  need  to  know  about  her  is  under  the  cut  ,  and  if  you  want  to  plot  please  give  this  a  heart  and  we  can  do  so  (  or  message  me  on  discord  ,  𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲#1776  )

*  basics 

FULL  NAME.  nessa  ryan  locke  .

NAME  MEANING.   pure  ,  holy  ;  butterfly  . 

REASONING.   it  was  suppose  to  be  vanessa  but  somehow  ended  up  being  just  nessa  by  the  time  she  was  actually  born  .

NICKNAMES.   ness  ,  nessy  .

PREFERRED  NAME.  ness  and/or  nessa  .

BIRTH  DATE.   november  third  ,  nineteen  ninety  eight  .

AGE.  twenty  two  .

ZODIAC.  scorpio  .

GENDER.  cis  female  .

PRONOUNS.  she  and  her  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION.  heterosexual  .

CURRENT  LOCATION.   moved  to  new  york  city  at  the  age  of  nineteen  ,  (  click  here  to  see  her  residence  ) .

PLACE  OF  BIRTH.  los  angeles   ,  california  .

HOMETOWN.   los  angeles  ,  california  .

FATHER.  jared  locke  ,  actor  .

MOTHER.   jillian  locke  ,  former  model  .

SIBLINGS.   nirvana  locke  ,  emerson  locke  .

BIRTH  ORDER.  youngest  .

PETS.  wolfie  ,  husky  .

HAIR  COLOR.   originally  a  black  color  ,  though  it  tends  to  go  from  black  to  a  light  brown  and/or  a  blonde  color  . 

EYE  COLOR.  brown  ,  but  she  takes  pride  in  the  small  specks  of  green  .

DOMINANT  HAND.  right  .

HEIGHT.  five  ft  six  .

TATTOOS.   nessa  has  five  tattoo’s  all  together  ,  the  first  one  being  something  that  resembles  the  fire  emoji  on  her  right  inner  hip  she  got  with  her  group  of  friends  .   she  has  a  rose  on  the  left  side  of  her  boob  ,  which  she  got  strictly  because  she  thought  it  was  pretty  .   she  has  two  butterflies  behind  her  left  ear  ,  a  smiley  face  on  her  right  upper  butt  cheek  ,  and  finally  the  words  ,  ‘  take  care  ‘  tattooed  on  her  right  arm .  

PIERCINGS.   she  has  five  holes  on  her  right  ear  and  seven  holes  on  her  left  ear  .  

DRUGS  /  ALCOHOL  /  SMOKING.  no  (  beside  smoking  weed  here  and  there )    ,  yes  ,  no  .  

SOUNDTRACK.   self  care  ,  mac  miller  .   angel  ,  the  weeknd  .  fetish  ,  selena  gomez  .  bitter  ,  fletcher  .  july  ,  noah  cyrus  .  bad  news  ,  kehlani  .   after  hours  ,  the  weeknd  .   needy  ,  ariana  grande  .   save  myself  ,  ed  sheeran .  p*$$y  fairy  ,  jhene  aiko  .  girls  in  the  hood  ,  megan  thee  stallion  .  

AESTHETICS.   emerald  hues  forming  into  a  distant  memory  ,   soft  laughter  in  the  dead  of  the  night  ,  luxurious  material  clinging  to  honeyed  skin  ,   tired  hues  ,   the  glow  of  neon  lights  lightening  up  a  dark  room  .  

LINKS.  here’s  her  pinterest  !! 

FUN  FACTS.   she  has  a  three  year  old  husky  ,  whom  she  treats  as  though  she  carried  him  around  for  nine  months  .  she  has  a  obsession  with  acrylic  nails  ,  you  will  always  find  her  with  something  different  every  two  weeks  .  she  always  has  her  toes  painted  ,  usually  baby  something          baby  pink  ,  baby  blue  .   she  enjoys  switching  up  her  look  which  includes  hair  changes  whether  it  be  sporting  a  wig  or  actually  dyeing  it  .  has  a  talent  of  painting  but  normally  doesn’t  have  the  time  or  inspiration  to  do  so  .  a  music  bug  ,  she  has  to  be  listening  to  tunes  if  she’s  cleaning  ,  cooking  ,  bathing  ...  hates  the  gym  more  then  anything  but  has  a  personal  trainer  (  she  spends  most  of  the  time  avoiding  )  to  kick  her  ass  in  shape  .  rarely  diets  and  with  this  she  has  a  bad  habit  of  eating  whatever  her  body  craves  .  she  loves  waffle  fries  ,  and  prefers  a  burger  over  a  chicken  sandwich  .   she  hates  neon  green  ,  don’t  fight  her  on  this  .  she’s  a  bit  of  a  car  junkie  and  constantly  purchases  them  despite  not  needing  to  .  her  worst  habit  is  online  shopping  ,  she  will  spend  thousand  of  dollars  at  ONE  store  .

*  background .

stranded at  the  age  of  five  ,  a  stuffed  elephant  in  hand  and  confusion  lingering  on  skin  .  only  small  glimpses  of  heart  felt  moments  to  ease  the  tears  .  one  moment  she  was  there  ,  and  the  next  she  somehow  slipped  through  the  cracks  .  not  even  the  power  of  hollywood  being  able  to  track  down  the  angelic  emerald  hued  model  .  instead  ,  her  father  had  to  wrap  his  arms  around  his  three  children  and  fabricate  a  story  that  would  not  shatter  their  delicate  hearts  .  but  the  damage  was  already  done  .

drenched  in  sovereignty  and  affluence  ,  the  privilege  of  being  privilege  had  always  been  a  reality  ,  even  before  the  disappearance  of  her  mother  .  a  celebrity  child  ,  grew  up  in  the  spotlight  and  had  ears  filled  with  comments  from  millions  who  did  not  know  her  .   not  a  sob  story  ,  unless  you  considered  her  mommy  issues  .  inherited  her  father’s  ambition  and  her  mom’s  trust  issues .  started  branding  herself  at  the  age  of  seventeen  ,  a  trend  setter  .  the  title  of  social  media  personality  was  granted  to  nessa  before  it  was  even  a  thing  ,  and  she  did  not  stop  there .   ventured  into  the  beauty  industry  ,  building  an  empire  from  top  to  bottom  .  and  eventually  even  created  a  fashion  line  with  her  older  sister  ,  even  after  all  the  red  warnings  .

but  the  finer  things  in  life  did  not  come  with  all  blessings  .   her  delicate  hands  drenched  in  cold  glue  ,  shattered  pieces  clinging  for  their  lives  with  expectations  of  being  put  back  together  again  .  adored  and  envied  by  the  world  ,  but  the  outside  looking  in  did  not  see  bent  back  constantly  picking  up  pieces  of  her  sisters  who  crumbled  with  even  the  softest  poke  .  addiction  controlling  every  aspect   of  her  sisters  lives  ,  and  the  relationship  she  shared  with  them  .  it’s  never  been  pretty  to  watch  the  ones  you  love  self  destruct  and  take  everything  you  love  and  trust  down  with  them  ..  hard  to  look  them  in  the  eyes  as  anger  and  heartache  consumes   you  .  and  even  harder  to  forgive  .  

forever  fighting  the  demons  her  mother  instored  in  her  ,  and  the  demons  her  sister’s  stir  up  .  her  only  breath  of  fresh  air  being  her  daddy  ,  and  the  way  he  always  has  her  back  (  no  favorites  are  played  but  we  all  know  )  ,  and  the  life  she  helped  build  for  herself  .  wants  to  be  rid  of  hands  that  hold  her  back  and  take  and  take  until  she  has  nothing  left  ,  and  instead  plunge  into  the  world  of  living  for  herself  and  new  york  city  granted  the  brunette  that  opportunity  .  

*  personality .

affection  sings  to  her  in  the  form  of  a  love  song  ,  her  love  language  .  digits  itch  to  hold  friends  hands  ,  and  lean  on  lovers  shoulders  .  uses  pet  names  like  her  vocabulary  only  consists  of  the  word  angel  and  baby  .  a  chatter  bug  that  hides  vulnerability  with  ebullience  and  teasing  manners  .  impulsiveness  that  jumps  out  at  all  the  wrong  times  ,  and  a  carelessness  that  teams  up  with  her  pettiness  to  make  all  the  wrong  choices  .  feels  replaceable  and  easily  disposable  ,  makes  her  fear  of  ever  letting  anyone  get  too  close  .  finicky  ,  hard  to  please  and  even  harder  to  totally  figure  out  ,  some  would  say  she’s  hot  and  cold  .  tries  to  stay  out  of  her  head  with  burying  herself  in  work  .  knows  how  it  feels  to  feel  like  you  are  nothing  ,  and  fills  that  whole  with  giving  back  as  much  as  she  can  .  silly  and  sometimes  ditzy  .  loves  too  hard  for  her  own  good  ,  and  has  a  bad  habit  of  letting  people  back  in  even  when  they  do  not  deserve  it  or  her  ..  has  a  softness that’s  desperate  to  escape  .   hates  love  because  she  understands  what  it  can  do  to  you  and  loves  just  as  much  for  the  same  reason  .  built  a  wall  around  her  heart  to  avoid  adding  any  more  scars  ,  and  will  save  you  before  she  saves  herself  .  holds  on  to  people  a  little  too  tight  ,  because  she  hates  going  through  the  process  of  letting  people  in  all  over  again  .  a  twenty  something  year  old  who  craves  a  mother’s  touch  but  holds  a  grudge  that  sometimes  causes  her  to  miss  out  on  people  .   always  just  wants  to  feel  like  she’s  worth  making  sacrifices  for  .

* career . 

kylie    cosmetics  ?  nessa  cosmetics  ,  a  brand  built  at  seventeen  years  old  and  has  only  grown  from  there  .   collections  that  consist  of  collabs  with  close  friends  and  family  (  when  she’s  talking  to  them  )  ,   and  season  /  holiday  collections  .  does  something  for  her  birthday  ,  november  third  ,  every  year  .  has  a  collection  dedicated  to  her  zodiac  sign  , scorpio  .   constantly  changing  her  formula  to  better  her  brand  ,  and  does  everything  hands  on  .  does  most  of  her  work  from  her  office  .   can  find  her  instagram  stories  to  be  her  swatching  her  latest  products  .  favorite  thing  of  hers  being  her  eye shadows   (  applaud  for  the  pigmented  ) .  good  quality  ,  inclusive  and  diverse  (  more  then  actual  kylie  cosmetics  )  is  the  most  important  thing  when  it  comes  to  her  brand  . 

launched  nessa  skin  a  single  year  ago  ,  and  has  worked  on  it  for  the  last  three  years  .  her  latest  child  ,  and  plans  to  only  grow  it  .  skin  has  always  been  super  important  to  nessa  ,  and  delivering  her  supporters  with  products  that  will  actually  work  is  her  main  priority  .  

a  youtube  channel  with  ten  million  subscribers  ,  youtuber  as  a  second  job .  it  starting  as  a  hobby  and  a  way  of  connecting  with  supporters  to  becoming  something  she  cannot  imagine  not  doing  .   her  channel  consists  of  mixed  content  such  from  fashion  hauls  to  makeup  videos  to  even  vlogs  that  involved  her  friends  (  and  family  )  doing  stupid  things  .  

em  &  ness  ,  a  clothing  brand  her  and  her  sister  are  developing  .   features  trendy  street  wear  ,  more  to  come  soon  . 

* connections

the  childhood  friend  that  reminds  her  of  simpler  times  ,   mud  pies  in  the  back  yard  and  riding  their  bikes  around  the  neighborhood  .  secrets  and  promises  of  being  friends  forever  that  felt  secure  but  feel  short  .  bonded  forever  maybe  ,  but  constantly  feeling  like  strangers  .   (  or   they  could  still  be  close  friends  )

the  family  friend  that  their  parent(s)  swore  were  going  to  end  up  together  ,  though  if  the  two  caught  any  talk  of  that  would  scrunch  their  nose  ups  and  shake  their  head  .  or  at  least  they  did  for  a  while  ,  until  lines  started  to  fade  and  the  comfortableness  felt  like  something  more  ..  not  together  now  ,  but  constantly  a  what  if  ,  the  idea  still  runs  in  their  minds  but  is  a  friendship  worth  something  that  might  not  work  out 

a  friendship  or  more  so  platonic  soulmates  ,  if  you  see  one  you  know  the  other  is  not  far  behind  .  they  are  somewhat  extensions  of  one  another  ,  swear  they  cannot  survive  without  one  another  .  the  one  person  nessa  trusts  the  most  ,  someone  who  has  never  hurt  her  or  left  her  .  her  person  .

the  bad  influence  that  plays  on  her  impulsiveness  .  talks  her  head  up  to  get  even  or  take  that  tenth  shot  because  why  the  fuck  not  .  anytime  something  bad  almost  happened  ,  like  that  time  we  almost  got  a  fine  ,  she  was  with  this  person  .  and  while  she  adores  them  ,  she  knows  they  aren’t  exactly  the  best  for  her  .

the  friend  group  you  cannot  help  but  envy  ,  constantly  plastered  on  one  anothers  instragram  feeds  .  has  their  own  groupchat  that  does  nothing  but  blow  up  .  shopping  trips  in  italy  and  vacations  in  greece  .  do  not  always  get  along  but  there  is  always  love  in  between  them  .  they  are  constantly  in  her  vlogs  ,  and  would  kind  of  be  like  her  very  own  vlog  squad  .

the  friends  with  benefits  who  swear  they  are  just  friends  ,  and  the  sex  means  nothing  .  despite  the  fact  that  they  linger  a  little  too  long  in  one  another’s  bed    .  and  the  promises  of  this  will  not  ruin  anything  become  blurry  when  they  connect  on  a  deeper  level  .  and    it  gets  confusing  when  their  affectionate  comes  to  surface  ,  but  regardless  they  are  just  friends  .

a  trio  of  three  friends  who  are  always  seen  together  ,  best  friends  could  be  the  world  to  use  to  describe  them  (  bonus  points  if  its  all  girls  )  .

the heart  breaker  ,  the  person  that  fucked  her  up  for  good  .  ruined  the  way  she  loved  and  left  her  with  a  lot  of  regret  and  heart  ache  .  she  swear  she  hates  them  ,  but  she  hates  how  much  she  loved  them  and  how  close  they  got  to  her  .  hates  how  they  went  from  knowing  her  more  then  anyone  to  being  someone  she  cannot  even  look  in  the  eyes  anymore  (  bonus  points  if  it  involves  them  cheating  on  her  ,  extra  bonus  points  if  it’s  angsty  as  hell  )  

the  drinking  buddy  she  confides  in   ,  a  glass  of  wine  and  a  lot  of  shit  talking  that   always  end  up  in  talking  about  personal  matters  .  they  are  a  ear  and  someone  to  lean  on  .

the  on  and  off  fling  ,  their  back  and  forth  being  nessa  and  her  refusal  to  let  them  in  completely  .  her  feelings  for  them  scare  her  ,  and  she’s  not  ready  to  walk  down  the  road  of  being  with  someone  again  .

other  things  i  want  include  ;  unlikely  friends  ,  enemies  to  friends  ,  friends  to  enemies  ,  lovers  to  friends  ,  friends  to  lover  ,  ex  best  friend  ,  ex  friends  in  general  ,  ex  friends  who  miss  each  other  terribly  ,  other  youtubers  she  collabs  with  ,  other  ceo’s  of  makeup  brands  /  skin  brands  she  has  a  rivalry  with  because  the  media  made  it  seem  like  they  hated  one  another  .

#wealthyhq:intro #fingers crossed i didn't miss anything asdfj #tw: mention of addiction

[ugh-really-why]

Endgame review that is really more of a Rant then anything else because Fuck you Marvel.

Disclaimer: I hate pretty much everything about this movie and am still pissed enough that there is going to be a lot of cussing. Also, this is going to contain spoilers. 

Let’s start with the character that I had the most hope for walking into this movie. Tony fucking Stank. I read the spoilers so I knew that he was going to get a heroic death. I also knew that he hesitated to save the world because he got his happy ending. 

I didn’t realize how much I would hate him for every word that came out of his mouth. Tony Stank really doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. He gets his happily ever after so fuck everyone else. Oh and he’s guilty over losing Peter so he’s going to blame everyone else even though he’s the one that split up the Avengers by locking up half of them in an underwater prison. He’s the one that had a way to contact Steve, knew about the attack because of Bruce, but was too petty to make the damn phone call. But nope it’s all Steve’s fault that he decided to go to Titan and fight Thanos there instead of regrouping with everyone else. He fucked up, but Tony can’t admit that so it’s on everyone else. Piece of shit. 

then Scott comes back five years later with an idea, but nope Tony can’t help save everyone because he’s got his precious little girl. Fuck everyone else who lost their families. At least the picture of Peter and him exists because otherwise, he wouldn’t have done shit. Oh and he insists that they keep the five years since the snap intact meaning that he’s robbing half the universe of five years of life because why the fuck not? Alright, I get him not wanting to lose his baby girl but I also don’t care because fuck him, fuck him so badly for not giving a shit about any of the other people in the universe. He’s such shit. Like honestly the only decent thing he does is die, oh and his conversation with Howard was interesting because it proves that Howard never physically abused Tony. Sorry stans, guess you can’t use that as an excuse anymore. 

Now the character that I love the most who was screwed... Steve. God, he’s fucking pathetic in this movie. Like where the fuck was his obsession with Peggy in any other movie that he was in? Where the fuck was it because this movie implied that it had been something that he had been holding onto for the fourteen (okay thirteen years) that he had been in the future, even though on screen we saw him moving on... No, he’s been carrying that stupid ass compass around with him since he woke up from the ice, just didn’t have a reason to pull it out until Endgame. Such fucking bullshit. He’s so damn pathetic when it comes to her in this movie. Not that she’s much better... Still having a torch for him in 1970 after he had been dead for 30 years. Super fucking pathetic. Like omg, they knew each other for a max of two years, kissed once, and had like five total conversations. But nope the love of his life, poor Sharon she was completely screwed. (I am so going to write out a fic where Steve goes back to the love of his life and finds out that she’s a pale comparison to the actual love of his life). Honestly, if you wanted a Steve that was hung up on Peggy still, having him move on was stupid, and this should have been set up in the previous movies instead of feeling completely out of the blue. Oh and as everyone else already has said, his ending completely ruins a lot of the great lines from the previous cap movies, such as his conversation about a situation going south, or the price of freedom. And it completely invalidates his relationship with Bucky, which was already kind of ruined in canon by Civil War. They owed the characters so much more. Oh, and they had to fuck over Steve’s other best friend. Like honestly, fuck you for what you did to Sam and Steve’s relationship. Just fuck you, Russos. I did like Sam getting the shield (course the question becomes how? because it was destroyed in the battle with Thanos, but who cares about that?) Oh and what happened to Mjolnir? because Steve was traveling with it to return the stones. Like the whole can’t move past the forties shtick is so boring and so old. 

Course for Steve to still be stuck on Peggy they had to ruin her. I can’t get over the disgust I feel for a woman that married another man, had children with him, to still be into a crush she had at 19... when she’s in her 50′s. it’s all kinds of gross. And sure I adore stories about sweethearts finding each other after a long time, but not when they are in committed relationships with other people. We all knew Agent Carter wasn’t worth anything to the MCU but this proves it. 

Bruce was just fucking annoying. Granted, I am not super fond of Banner in general, but Professor Hulk was cringe and annoying and no thanks. I swear I wanted someone to punch him every time he opened his mouth. The only time he was not incredibly annoying was when he talked about Natasha, course they played up the romantic angle for the two of them without ever addressing the issue of him ditching her for years. Like he still held a torch even though everything about the relationship was fail. 

Thor was just sad. He’s an alcoholic that has lost all confidence in himself, gained a ton of weight, something that is mocked throughout the movie and is afraid to fight. Until he talks with Frigga (not gonna lie that was a cool scene) but seriously the way they made Thor pathetic was just sad. Oh and so much mocking of his PTSD by pretty much everyone. I guess not being a dick about PTSD only applies to Tony. 

Natasha, I actually liked the majority of her plotline. Though that being said killing her off was incredibly stupid if the Black Widow movie is a real thing. I really liked her relationship with Clint, the way that she was helping coordinate the recovery, and the way she was willing to risk everything for a chance to fix things. She had a lot of personality, and I do remember why I adore the character again. I’m also glad that they didn’t put major focus on Steve/Nat. Oh no to make Steve’s storyline work he couldn’t be closely tied with anyone so no real friendships in the present for Steve. Nope, just taking advice from Stank to live life and thinking the only way to do that was to go back to Peggy...

Clint was the only one whose storyline I didn’t massively hate. I liked the way they showed his relationship with Natasha and how both of them care so much about each other. We really got to see them being family in this movie so that wasn’t terrible. And it was powerful to see him lose his family (it wasn’t like the other dusting, they were there and then gone the next second... a much better way to show everyone being gone imo then that dumbass over the top speech by Peter in Infinity War.) And his scenes after returning with the soul stone, and the fight against Thanos were kickass. Also seeing Lila Barton have her daddy’s talent for shooting arrows was terrific. Clint is a great father, and I loved the hints of it and his love for his family in this film. He just wasn’t enough to redeem the bullshit for me. 

Wanda...barely in the film but kickass during the fight. It was great to watch her go head-to-head with Thanos, and having the call back to Infinity War with Okoye when the girls were trying to get the iron infinity stone glove away was great. I’m down for an all-women team-up movie a billion times more now then I was before this movie and I already knew that I still wanted that. Course now I would try to figure out how to pirate it because FUCK MARVEL. 

Sam, idk. There were things I liked. Him becoming Captain America (if you are going to screw Steve like this, I’d rather Sam then Bucky any day of the week). His on your left and reaching out to steve over comms when he so desperately needed that little push to keep fighting. I despise the implication that he doesn’t know Steve because of his freak out about the past, and the fact that Steve was keeping secrets from him even though other movies have shown that to BULLSHIT. 

Bucky, Steve fucked him over because he was too obsessed with Peggy to give a shit about his BFF being tortured by Hydra. It’s fucking gross and totally goes against who Steve is in the rest of the series. I did like the hug, seeing him shooting Thanos's army and the easiness between him and Sam. Other than that eh. 

Valkyrie was awesome in the movie. I don’t like her much because of the slaver thing, but she was really great for her five minutes, two of being a leader and three of fighting (and I’m only sort of joking)

Nebula- I’m not sure I understand why Thanos and his people were about to see what future Nebula’s memory system knew And I wasn’t super into her babying of the shithead but other than that I liked the character. I wish they would put more emphasis on the sisterly relationship she’s building with Gamora. 

Rocket- didn’t really like the way that he mocked Thor’s issues. However, he was a fun character. 

Rhodey- He was annoying at the beginning but I liked the fact that he didn’t follow Tony’s example and say FUCK THE WORLD. And I did enjoy some of his lines at the end of the movie. such as the way he addresses the fact that he’s disabled with Nebula, creating a connection between them. (much better than the condescending way that Tony talked to her at the beginning). And I liked how the disability impacted him negatively during the final fight. It was nice to see something that is actually a medical necessity. 

I did like the final battle. It was well done and I enjoyed the different fighting styles, bring back dusted characters, seeing who fought with who, and the devasting strength of Thanos. And the way that Carol really turned the tide. Tony’s death scene was incredibly dumb... Honestly, someone get Peter as far away from these kinds of fightings as possible because the kid doesn’t know how to handle shit. 

There is probably so much more to add to this but honestly, I’m tired and it’s already long af. This movie sucks, be prepared for it to be worse then you expect, if you wanted to see Tony actually be a hero without having be convinced other people matter. If you wanted to see Steve continue with the path that he’s been on since Winter Soldier and suddenly decides that he’s more into Peggy than he is anything else. If you wanted to see more of Ragnorak’s Thor. If you wanted more for Natasha then her death, something that only bothers me/Odin with actual issues. 

#Endgame spoilers #I hate this movie so much #adding more later #but probably going to be similar sizes.

[twohearts-hs]

‘A Devious Act Vl’ - H.S. Divorce Series

Words: 1,905

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of divorce.

This is part six, please request for part 7, plus ideas.

Requests are OPEN

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five 

Hanging up the phone, (Y/N) checked her messages, seeing that Anne has texted her. She just groaned, internally.Niall busied himself throughout the flat, doing whatever he liked at the moment. 

Anne was asking for them to head up to Cheshire for the weekend. The message was in a group chat with Harry and Gemma in it. She reckoned that Harry did not tell her yet, making himself embarrassed for what to come. Should she be the one to send the message?

The first thing she did was send a message to Harry, telling him that she will pick up the kids at his house at two the next day, making it clear of the plan. The second thing she did was press the call button to Anne’s contact.

“Hey Anne,” she said, a few rings later. Her voice ringed it, seems like she had no idea what was going to happen soon. She answered her questions but wanted to get straight to the point.

“Anne, I trust you, you know,” she began, Anne replying, “you know I feel like you are my second mum, and I don’t want that to ever change.”

“What I mean is that Harry and I are getting a divorce,” she told, getting straight to the point.

As (Y/N) reckoned, Anne’s answer was confusing. She didn’t click the pieces yet, making (Y/N) tell more. Accidentally, she spilt her guts. She was gobsmacked about the whole ordeal, her perfect boy that she raised to treat others well is being the opposite. The answer she gave her, Anne was definitely taking (Y/N)’s side. She responded that she will see Anne this weekend, and it would be good for the kids to still have a normal life. At that moment, a ding came to her ear. She took the phone off, seeing Harry respond that he’ll be there too. Another ding came, a message personally coming to her from Harry. Like normal she ignored it.

The conversation carried out for another half hour, seems that the two of them have not talked in a while. Catching up made sense. She lastly told that she was meeting her lawyer today, to discuss issues and all. They hanged up moments later.

Harry pulled into the school, parking in the parking lot closest to the building. He knows he has to prove that he was a fit parent, and that (Y/N) is not. He felt kind of bad about it, taking their kids away from their mum, but it was for the best, he thought. He knew the plan off by heart. The kids can’t tell that Karla has moved in, and is their life. They can’t tell her that they can call her mum.

He got out of the car, walking up first to the daycare. Signing the piece of paper that saying that he has picked up Alfie. He saw his little boy womble up to him, clutching his leg at the process.

“How’s my big boy?” Harry asked, kneeling down and picking him up. Alfie just screaming in excitement, "I know, I know, I know. I've missed you too." he gave him a big kiss on the lips in the process. 

“Thank you,” he said to the ladies, walking out to pick up his daughter.

Harry walked into the building, tickling his son’s belly on the way, and doing the simple expressions that you do to babies, to try to create a stronger bond. He looked back and forth, from his baby to where he was heading. He had no idea when he was here last? When he picked up his daughter from school or dropped her off. It has been a while.

Walking into the classroom he saw all the masterpieces of art on the walls, the colourful carpet and the tiny desks. His daughter was in the corner playing with dolls with another girl. Her brown curls were placed in two pigtails and she was wearing a beige sweater with jeans. (Y/N) always did have the best fashion, making him smile for the bit. The smile turned down to a frown, remembering the situation that is occurring, but it was for the best in his opinion.

He walked up the teacher with the list, waiting in line for his turn to say his name and his daughter’s name to be able to go home. He just waited, rocking Alfie back and forth and pretending to drop him, creating a small giggle to escape his lips.

“Hi, I’m here to pick up Ivy, Ivy Styles,” he told the ladies, looking at Alfie and making cute faces to him.

“Sorry, sir, who are you exactly?” The older lady asked.

“I’m her father, Harry Styles,” he said back, giving her a confused look.

“(Y/N) hasn’t sent us a note today that someone else is picking up Ivy.” The lady said again.

“I’m her father, though,” he said back, the younger one, the blonde said something quickly to the other teacher.

“I’m going to look through Ivy’s papers, and see if you have the right to pick her up. Please stand there,” she said, Harry nodded. He walked over to the other side of the desk, taking out his phone and texting her.

Harry: I’ve just picked up Alfie, and now I’m trying to get Iv, but they won’t let me since you’ve have not said anything to them about allowing me to pick them up.

(Y/N): That’s odd, you’re in her file.

Harry: They are just checking now, thanks, love.

The lady came back giving him the ok. He went to his daughter, patting her on the head. She turned around, a big smile coming on her face, seeing that her father is here. Ivy ran to his leg, holding it.

“Daddy, you’re here. I’ve missed you” she said, coming out.

“I’ve missed you too, poppet. You’re coming over to my place tonight. We are going home.” he told her grabbing her hand, and backpack, and heading out.

“So, we are not going back to Uncle Niall’s?” she asked. This made Harry’s eyes open, and his hand clasped Ivy’s hand a bit harder. ‘She was staying at Niall’s? No, not on his watch.’ he thought.

“No, we are going back to our house,” he told her, she just jumped.

On the way back, Alfie started to fall asleep and Ivy was singing to the radio, creating her own lyrics if she did not know them. This made him smile, he missed this.

“Lovely, you have to keep a promise. Ok?” he started, turning down the radio. Ivy nodded her head rapidly.

“Ok, daddy has a friend over, and mummy doesn’t like that.” he began, looking at her through the rearview mirror, “if you tell mummy that daddy’s friend, Karla is over; mummy wouldn’t want to see you anymore. Ok?” he said. Ivy’s excitement came down now, nodding gently.

“Ok, I’m glad that is settled."

(Y/N) sat at Niall’s lawyer's office, with Niall next to her. They were reviewing the plans.

“Mr Styles’ lawyer came back to us with his wants. Do you want to review them?” he asked, she nodded, looking at Niall.

“We all know he wants the divorce, and full custody, but the majority of the list is everything that he has bought, like the houses, the cars-”

“My car?” she asked, interrupting him, “sorry.” she quickly said after.

“Yes, you own the red SUV, right?” he asked, the ageing man asked, looking through the papers.

“Yes,” she replied. Her arms came to contact with her knees, hands sweaty and legs shaking. She would be lying if she wasn’t nervous.

“Then yes,” he replied, she nodded, “anyway, he is fine with you keeping clothes and all, but he said that his bank account is his and only his,” John said, giving her a nod.

“That’s ok with me. It is his money, I don’t need it anyway.”

“Glad that is settled. Do you want to talk about the factors of making Harry an unfit parent?” the lawyer asked, she nodded. Niall still sat next to her, listening but not interrupting.

“We got the jist of it, the leaving constantly, not being active of the children’s activities and schedules, and neglect, plus his girlfriend and his actions with her.” the lawyer told, her catching the quota on neglect.

“It is not really neglect, but anyway,” she said.

(Y/N) remembered one of the situations like it was yesterday.

She wasn’t happy with him, he expected too much from her. This was a moment that made her remember that.

Harry came home, he was gone for five weeks, touring. It was not the simple or affectionate way of coming home, though. He walked in, dropped the suitcases, came into the living room and yelled at his daughter, and yelled at his wife.

“Ivy, I’m not up to this. Let go of me please.” It was not firm or a scary voice. His daughter only wanted a simple hug, “Ivy Anne Styles, let go of me, I don't want you right now.” he raised his voice severely, his wife was in shock, placing Alfie down, and comforting the five-year-old.

“Harry!” she said, turning away from their daughter, and eyeing him.

“Don’t get me started, (Y/N). I walked in the door, the house is a mess, dinner is not ready and she is wanting attention. What have you been doing for the last few weeks, nothing, drinking, probably?” he told her. She stood up, walking up to him.

“Go back to America, now. We don’t need this. Both your kids are crying, I’m pissed off. Get out!” she told him, he looked at her, turning around and grabbing his bag; heading upstairs.

(Y/N) picked up their daughter and comforted her, telling her that daddy didn’t mean any of the words he said. She continued on with the evening, making dinner, helping with homework, doing lunches, etc. She finally put her last to bed around eight, heading upstairs; turning off the lights and locking the door before she went up.

She had a glass of wine in her hands, and a bag of chips, forgetting Harry was here. She just wanted to watch some telly before bed. When she opened the door, she was spooked, noticing Harry was pacing back and forth.

“(Y/N)-” he started, coming up to her.

“Don’t, H. I want to have a nice evening, ok?” she said, placing her glass and bag down and heading to her desk, picking up her laptop.

“I’m sorry.” he stated, coming up to her, she turned around, bumping into him.

“Harry, you can’t do that. Bring all your anger on me, but not our daughter.”

The memory faded away, she was correct, he did bring all his anger on her. She was ok with it, but at least it is not one of their kids.

“Can we discuss Karla Abbott?” John asked, creating her to come out of her trance.

“Sure,” Niall pitched in, “what do you have on her? I asked you John for your best to find this sort of shit out.”

“We got a giant lead, look at the file,” John replied, giving Niall the file. (Y/N) looked over to his side and read the words.

“This is perfect,” Niall responded, making (Y/N) smile, in a sort of wicked way.

Part 7

#Harry Styles #harry #harry edward styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry styles preferences #one direction #one direction oneshot #one direction imagines #one direction smut #one direction preferences #harry styles concepts #one direction concepts #1d #1direction #1d imagine #1d preferences

[these-are-the-first-steps]

An objective, uninfluenced review and discussion of TLJ after just leaving the theatre- mileage may vary

THIS SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW IS UNDER A CUT. IF YOU SEE A TON OF TEXT AND NO CUT, SCROLL LIKE HELL. 

OK, so, some initial take-aways:

-This was a really busy movie

-I feel like they crammed three films into one and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

-This did not have the standard feel of a star wars film and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

-Too much comedy. Sorry. It was a bit much and ruined the mood in a lot of places imo.

-Holy shit, that was the hottest, most sexualized hands-touching I have ever seen in my life

-My life literally flashed before my eyes when Finn went to kamikaze. They had him get so close to the end, and that tear— jesus fuck I genuinely thought that was going to be the end and I was a mess. God bless you, Rose.

-My life literally flashed before my eyes when Leia was ejected from the ship- they had me going thinking this was how she was gonna go. The force flying was hokey as shit, but you know what? Fuck it. Carrie Fisher can cheat death and fly- it's fucking canon now. Deal with it.

-The music did not blow me away on TLJ as it did in TFA. Most likely because the movie was so damn busy.

-Too many climaxes. Yes, there is such a thing. I was worn out by the end of this film and there was no real catharsis at all because of it.

-I don't know how the fuck they're going to do 9 without Carrie after that ending. Well…I do have one idea, but I kinda hate it.

The Meat:

The scroll this film was interesting, in that its last sentence broke the mold of previous star wars crawls- that was my clue right off the bat that this would not be following the standard 'feel', for lack of a better word, of star wars films. Honestly, I don't expect the off-shoot movies like 'Rogue One' to follow whatever standard 1-7 do, but like I expect it from the main series, and like I said at the beginning, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet. At the moment I'm a little disappointed that it deviated so much, but we got so many juicy tidbits and moments to have and to hold that that's kind of outweighing the minor point of format. So, I'll be seeing the film a few more times in various formats before coming to a hard conclusion on this.

Anyway…

HAHA POE GOT SLAPPED! THE SLAP HAPPENED! And it was pretty underwhelming honestly. And then out of nowhere Leia's all charm and kindness again? That really made the whole moment meaningless to me. Like she was never mad enough to slap him to begin with, so why? The moment was ruined by Leia's sharp U-turn and that sucked. They had a real opportunity to bring home just how severe and serious Leia's despair over so much loss has been, but the really watered it down every time, usually with comedy.

There was too much comedy in this film. I get maybe they were trying to lighten it up for the kiddos, but they did it in alllll the wrong places. It really botched the mood of the film repeatedly. The timing was just terrible. I mean right off the bat- sure, Poe's exchange with Hux was hilarious, but man it did not need to be in there. At least not first thing in the film when you're trying to set the tone. What a waste on all ends. That part really frustrated me.

I'm surprised at how soon Kylo bashed his helmet to pieces. That was really soon. Sadly the shock of it just wasn't there for me since I'd seen the trailers, but whatever. It was still a great moment done by Adam exceptionally well.

Mark Hamill was A+++ in this film. Everything about him was great. Absolutely stellar. While TLJ was mass confusion, Luke Skywalker stayed consistent and made linear sense throughout- the only exception being the very end. Why….why did he die again? I'm seriously confused? He looked pained, and I kept waiting for the camera to pan down to explain what was going on- did he actually have a giant saber hole in him from Ben or something? But no- he just flounders on a rock for a bit and then kicks it. I still just do not understand. I don't understand it at all. Also, Rian promised us some big compelling monologue from Luke that would be oscar-worthy and it wasn't there. Where was the monologue? Three sentences strung together do not a monologue make. Sorry, kids. I think Mark did a stellar job, as I said, and they've put him up for an oscar nom, but honestly….I don't think it was oscar-worthy simply because there wasn't enough there due to the over-taxed storyline, and if he does get one, it's gonna be earned out of sentiment more than anything, which….I mean, an oscar is an oscar, but still. You know? Also, we had stills and BTS footage of Luke down in that dark side hole with Rey and we never saw that. I hope Rian releases his director's cut so we get those scenes back- otherwise there's a good chance we'll get them in the novel or something.

Canto Bight was super unnecessary. What an unnecessary, overly-busy, budget-draining side romp. Maz was unnecessary. The whole 'let's get the codes' thing was unnecessary, although Benicio del Toro stole the fucking show with his character- that dude was great, and we'll definitely be seeing him again in 9. He's clearly going to be the side-character replacement for Phasma (RIP gurl). Canto Bight achieved only two things: 1. The FinnRose romance. 2. The stable kids, or at least one of them, has the force. Yep! That kid at the end- when he reaches for the broom, the broom jumps into his fucking hand, y'all. That kid has the force. The force is clearly back with a vengeance in the young babies of the galaxy. And that was it. I feel like they could have achieved both those things in better, more meaningful ways. But no, they wanted to do a casino(?) bit that will likely never be heard of again except in extended merchandising because fuck disney's money-grubbing ways. Oh, I DID like DJ's 'Rogue One' call-back reminder about how literally both sides of this war suck and everyone's trash, especially the warlords growing fat off the profits in the middle. I appreciated that bit. It was also a nice social commentary for a young audience that will hopefully stick with them. It was a cool moment that del Toro played beautifully.

Two words: PORG BABIES. Also, is Chewie vegetarian now? xD I don't think a whole colony of porgs should have come along in the falcon- that was a bit much. Again, comedy in places it didn't need to be. Whatever. Moving on.

Laura Dern's character dying was a waste, but you know what? That move she did was fucking brutal. It was amazing. It reminded me of 'Farscape' 's wormhole-popping maneuver immediately, plus extreme bonus damage. Just a beautiful sight.

Rose was great- Kelly Marie Tran knocked that shit out of the park. Laughs, tears, she ran the fucking gamut. I know we were all expecting more from her character's sister, but I guess it was the necessary setup to give her the impetus to go take risks. No complaints at all about Rose- I thought she was lovely.

Wow did Poe get a lot of screen time. He got a lot of screen time. I feel like Poe maybe learned some shit, but I honestly don't feel like Finn learned a whole lot which was disappointing. Even on Canto Bight he was like 'No, we're not doing this! Stop enjoying it!' Growth for him would be to start letting loose a bit, and he just doesn't. I also feel like we were deprived of a closing moment with him at the end of the film- we just get the tender moment with him and Rose, which was sweet, but it felt unfinished. I felt like Finn was more along for the ride in this film than actively moving it, and again I think that's the fault of this film being too damn busy and there not being enough time for things to go smoothly, linearly, and in ways that flowed naturally. There just wasn't time for it, clearly, and so character development suffered- unless you're Poe. Because damn Poe got a lot of screen time.

I felt like we should have spent more time on the salt planet. That felt like another over-done thing that, while the location was necessary, was it necessary to make it so busy? As I write this, I think I'm starting to realize that the backdrops are what have really distracted from the story. The backdrops haven't aided the story at all- they've just severely diverted attention from what's important- i.e. the struggles both literal and emotional happening to our characters. The casino was a riotous mess, visually stunning but constantly pulling my attention away from what was going on. The salt planet had tons of unique features but it didn't serve any purpose to the film. None of these backdrops serviced the story, and I think that's a HUGE problem. With an already busy, intricate web of storylines to keep up with, having all these non-contributing, busy-in-their-own-right backdrops just made it even harder to keep up and stay focused on what was going on. You don't leave the theatre feeling like all the threads came together in the end. You leave the theatre going "Well that was cool…but I feel like I've missed something", because you probably have. Here: YOUR BACKDROP SHOULD NOT BE COMPETING WITH YOUR STORY. Ok, I said it.

Snoke made some comments about Hux that were interesting and then promptly never talked about again. Why's that? Because there was no time. Pity. Anyway, the bit about him being easily manipulated because of his personal issues was great, and I was hoping we'd get to see more of that struggle with Hux, more of that fatal flaw at play- his daddy issues, insecurities about acceptance, etc., but it never came. Instead Hux was wasted on comedic moments. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Once again, unnecessary comedy fucking ruins the mood of this film.

Snoke's demise was shocking but also anti-climactic. They pulled all the power from him in one fell swoop and took this amazingly built-up character, this character that had SUCH cool potential, and Rian just threw it in the trash. I'm pretty disappointed. Actually, I'm really disappointed. No wonder Pablo was so disinterested in Snoke questions- Snoke was made ultimately irrelevant as a character. While the psychological effects of Snoke will continue to be a MAJOR issue, killing him was wasted potential, and now Ben’s lifelong struggle with this creature has been belittled and minimized because of it. That is terrible.

So now we get to the juicy bits- Rey and Ben.

We didn't get to see Rey hardly at all in this film. That….fucking sucked. Poe got more screen time than Rey. Fuck you, Poe. I'm pissed off about this. The only moving, worthwhile moments Rey had were opposite Ben. And boy did Daisy and Adam make the most of very limited screen time. Force Bond ahoy, y'all! We called it and it exists! However, it was really crazy abrupt. There was no lead-up of voices, of the connection establishing itself. One tiny teaser of it would have been enough, but no- suddenly it's just THERE, and the music and sound cuts, and if you weren't us and expecting this kind of force bond communication we've all been writing about prolifically for two years, I'm sure you were like "What the fuck- this is out of left field", because it was. Story-wise, it was. And that's disappointing. You want to see something you love executed well, and while you love and I love the connection, it wasn't executed well. It could have been done better. Again, any kind of hinted lead-up- since it was a surprise for both of them, maybe like a whisper of his voice calling to her in surprise? Or something. Instead we get them both right away, which was a bit blunt. I think it could have used with a bit of finessing. Oh well.

From a story analysis standpoint, I think Snoke's claim that he personally established the connection between them is bullshit. I think he was talking out of his ass, frankly. I think him claiming he forged the bond was back-peddling to try and continue to related all roads back to himself because while he certainly played the all-powerful omnipotence card, he clearly knew he wasn't and worked actively to maintain his illusion to keep Ben in check. But it was all a farce, as we could see, and even Ben knew where all the cracks in Snoke's observational skills were. He didn't really have 24/7 Ben TV. When Ben played him like a goddamn fiddle with that sneak attack, Ben showed that he could cloak and twist his intent in front of Snoke's face all day if he's focused enough, and felt he had enough purpose. He certainly did feel Ben becoming resolved alright. He felt him begin to prepare his saber. But how limited he was in what he could see! How limited, whereas Rey on the other hand….oh, he and Rey have something so much more than Snoke's clearly tenuous hold. Ben was only under the yoke as much as he wanted to be, and that realization is very much a doubled-edged sword. On the one hand, it meant he could find the strength to break free when he found a new purpose in Rey. But on the other, it also means he could have peaced out whenever he wanted and taken the FO with him but clearly he chose not to, which is awful and frustrating. But you know? When you wake up to your uncle looking like he's about to kill you in your goddamned sleep after you've spent years arguing against that sort of thing with the voices insisting your uncle will actually kill you, and suddenly the voices are right and your world is fucking shattered? When the voices become the only viable option in your life? I can get that. I may not agree with it, but I get it. And that's plenty.

Also, can we talk about the story of the school's destruction? So Kylo DID leave with some of the students. Let's make an educated guess and say they are the other Knights of Ren. Nice predicting, y'all. I'm sure they'll become major players in 9 as Kylo attempts to step into his role as supreme leader- while Snoke had the red guard, Kylo will have his knights. Cool. Very cool.

To back-track a little, I enjoyed the force chats between Rey and Ben a lot. I feel like more of them happened that we weren't shown. Even as Rey was recounting her brush with the dark side cave, you can tell she'd already been telling the story for a long while and he'd spent a long while listening. But again, with little finessing with all this, for those not expecting reylo the care they begin to have for each other seems really abrupt. Sorry, general audience- I wish it could have been better, too. But let's take what we can get, shall we? Kylo debases himself in front of Rey- admits he's a monster and then cries about it. I love it. Then he gives her the answer she wants in the form of advice, which was a fantastic bit of writing. After that, she inexplicably mellows out to him quite a bit and there's storytime in the stone house, the exceptionally warm lighting, as their hands achingly, hesitatingly touch- an insane amount of effortlessness in making yourself physical in a force-induced manifestation that, for Ben and Rey, resulted in the sexiest finger-touching I've ever seen, and for Luke became such a strain that it killed him. Powerful in the force are these two, indeed. I can't get over how warm that lighting was- literal love by firelight. And then….and then Rey cried it felt so good. And so did Ben. And when Rey recounts what she saw of his future in the elevator when their hands touched, she does this sweet look down at his chest before looking back with care into his face…I was feeling it so hard, man. That is a loving gesture. *I* have acted that way with someone I love. That's a tic that only belongs to lovers, not friends. What kind of 'solid' future did she see for him? With that kind of tic, it makes me wonder if she hadn't seen herself in it, too. Goddammit, ben! Get your shit together, boy!

Rey's lack of social skills, however, really fucking botched things between them, too. Surely there had to be a better way to reason with him than pulling out a goddamned saber. Bad move, sweetheart. And in one fell swoop you broke that man's heart. Everything after Rey's rejection was just bleeding-heart Kylo vomiting his emotions all over the place. I mean he was seriously torn up about it. And what about Rey running off? How come we didn't get that scene? Did she just straight-up split? Or did she stop for a moment to look at Kylo's unconscious, likely peaceful, face? I'm mad we didn't get to see it because it would have said a lot- instead once Rey rejoins the resistance, we get a TON more relationship-dodging. A TON of dodging. Because you know what? The relationship is there, man. Finn's got his gal, and Rey looks on acceptingly at this turn of events. Kylo and Rey have experienced a lot of emotional stuff together at this point- he's the only one that shares her secret about her parents. But you'd never know anything at all had happened to her at the end of the film. It's just business as usual. And that's really weird to me. That's not character growth. A bit of longing there, for what Rey almost, almost, let herself have with Kylo reflected in Finn and Rose's moment, but no- just plain old start-of-tfa Rey apparently. I mean….Rey didn't even ask him about his scar. He never brought up his scar. Was that a scene that got cut? Because how do you avoid that conversation? How do you avoid that? OH! The fight scene- and where she rolls her back onto his back to fight the red guard I WAS LIVING! It was so good, and they kept checking on each other during the fight. I loved it.

I've just been reminded of the shirtless scene- it didn't come off naturally, but I get that they're trying to establish that the bond is manifesting at 'inconvenient' moments, ok whatever. And then Rey goes and spoils the moment with more unnecessary comedy schtick which rolled off Adam beautifully- thank you, Adam. She totally checked him out, though. Maybe she was reliving that moment a little in the elevator when she looked down at his chest. Makes me wonder again just what exactly she saw in his future. I'm here for it.

Why did Rey fucking sail to the FO in a coffin? That made no sense. Although it was cute that Ben came to pick her up like "Hi." but then "Here are some shackles. Sorrynotsorry." I love how she was clearly expecting something else but NOPE.

Also, Rey really does come from nothing, although I don't fucking know how her parents can be in a potter's field in Jakku when Rey last saw them sail off into space. Sounds like hasty writing after being fed up with fans to me. Although Adam rattled it all off beautifully. And I love how Ben loves her regardless of it all. I loved the whole "You knew this the whole time so who cares because I don't? PS: come be my empress, it'll be great." Adam did so well in this film, but I can't help but think, like every fucking thing else, that his screen time was radically choked and that there's TONS more on the cutting room floor that give his acting more of the credit it's due and that flesh out so many more things to help them make more sense. Ugh.

In conclusion. I liked it. I cried when Leia's old holo projection played. I cried like a bitch. But I didn't leave the film feeling like my mind was blown like it'd been with TFA. I don't know if it's because I just felt overwhelmed in more of a bad way than good due to how busy everything was or if it's because I've been analyzing stuff for two years. It's probably a bit of both. Because I avoided the spoilers like the plague, you know? So everything was still new and a surprise, and while I think the film was a total trip that I'd recommend, TFA just felt cleaner, more impactful, and left enough space for all its characters to fully realize themselves instead of the cram-fest that this movie is. And most importantly, TLJ didn't leave enough space for John Williams to create any stand-out moments like in TFA- "The Starkiller" is a piece that gave me fucking goosebumps and that, to this day, will be one of my favorite moments in movie history. To choose a quiet dirge piece for a moment of bloody chaos was absolutely brilliant and shook me to the core, but there was no time for a moment like that in this film and that really bums me out. I was hoping for another moving experience like that.

Reylo's a thing now, but the kids have a lot of work to do on their relationship, because Kylo's in full spurned-lover mode and he's not handling it well. He's now a kid who's been handed all the power in the universe, and if Rey thinks that's not going to backfire, especially with their direct phone line to each other, she's got another thing coming. She's going to have her hands full trying to talk that boy down, and any next encounter between them is going to be incredibly tense and fraught with emotion. He finally outrightly pleaded with her to be with him. And that fucking means something. And Rey's not dimwitted enough not to see that. She knows the implications. She saw his good-ending future, remember- one that, as she recalled it, her eyes drifted to his chest in a very, very affectionate move that was well played by Daisy. In fact, I was so focused on Daisy's performance in that moment that I missed Kylo's reaction so when I see the film again, I'll have to remember to focus on him next time.

And Leia….Carrie was right that 9 was supposed to be Leia's film. I mean…that ending makes it indisputable. How do you work through that? Especially with Luke copping out? Essentially my prediction for what's going to happen is this: Lots, and lots, of Ghost Uncle Luke times. It's the only option they have. Luke's gonna come back, haunt the shit out of Ben and give him terrible girl advice, and then visit Rey and try to teach her some more. It's the only option they have, really. Mark thought he was finally done, but then Carrie just had to go and die- isn't that just typical. I also love how Billie plays such a bigger role in this film. Her performance was great, too, and there were moments where she really sounded like a young Leia that had me tearing up. I love them all so much.

So that's all I got for this initial objective general review of The Last Jedi. I plan to see this film at least once more in standard 2D (my preferred mode), and also in 4DX because why would you not want to be on Star Wars: The Ride for 2.5 hours? It's worth the ticket price. Plus seeing these films in 3D adds a whole new perspective to things, I discovered after seeing 3D TFA. So I'm open to that, too. I had a lot of technical complaints with this film, but otherwise I like the direction it went in, it was a direction I anticipated (minus snoke being wasted as a character- that still sucks), and I'd say as a shipper we got a good 75% of what we wanted. As a shipper, I'd say full steam ahead for the good boat Reylo and I look forward to a hopefully grittier, more distraught atmosphere to really bring shit home in 9. JJ Abrams gave us a very, very solid, coherent story for 7, and I look forward to having that back again for the grand finale. These characters deserve coherency. I love Rian, but he tried to cram too much in too small a space and lot really suffered for it- this was a problem Rogue One had that I hoped wouldn't repeat itself, but here we are. But even Rogue One navigated its complicated story better than TLJ did, I think. I don't know. Again, I need to see this film a few more times before I can really throw the gavel down. But now that this objective review is out, I'm happy to go back to putting my shipper glasses on and appreciating what we do have: Hot hand touches, shirtless Ben Solo, Rey saying 'Ben', Ben saying 'Rey', both of them crying over each other, both of them ogling each other, and the category of Emperor Ren fiction absolutely fucking exploding (and laughing maniacally that my own 'Exigence in force majeure' is now fucking canon-compliant can you believe this shit what is life).

Ok- enjoy the film, friends! TATFS out. PS: Oh yeah, haha, the jedi books were saved- ok. Also, I would love to get my hands on a director’s cut and all the deleted scenes so that I could try my hand at cutting my own version of this film- eliminate or better time 90% of the comedic bits and create a film that’s really darkly compelling and profound. Ok, I’m really gone this time bye.

#tlj #tlj spoilers #reylo #spoilers #star wars #star wars spoilers #star wars review #the last jedi #tlj review #the last jedi review #initial review

[definitelyzoey]

FRIENDS: Why we’re still in love with this charming and lovable gang? #SquadGoals.

Friends is a successful American television sitcom, which includes Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer as part of the show’s main characters. The TV sitcom revolves around the interesting and unpredictable lives of the six 20–30-something friends who live in Manhattan. 

The hit series was created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, and was aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting ten seasons. It has already been 23 years since the show was out and to this day, MY FRIENDS are still loving this hit TV show. I cannot even begin to explain how this show had turned my life around. The six talented actors/actresses had their different kinds of contributions to the show that only the six of them could ever fulfill. And just like any other success story there were a lot of setbacks and struggles for the show but they still pulled through and lasted with 10 seasons.

One of these struggles included Jennifer Aniston and how she was almost replaced for the show due to filming commitments with the short-lived series, Muddling Through. She has people calling her saying that they are auditioning for her part as Rachel Green and she struggled with the back-and-forth from Sony to Warner Bros. for two weeks. Luckily for the 45-year-old actress, Muddling Through only lasted three months so she was able to keep the role of Rachel, but confessed producers almost made her play Courteney Cox's character, Monica. Jennifer said: “They wanted Courteney to play Rachel, and unbeknownst to each other, I wanted to play Rachel and she wanted to play Monica. It worked out perfectly.” 

Another struggle for the show was the unexpected rehabilitation of Matthew Perry. Behind the sarcastic and witty persona Matthew Perry played as the famed Chandler Bing — the former "Friends" star was battling a serious addiction to drugs and alcohol. He really opened up about his struggles during the hit show's 10-year-run.He reflected on his routine alcohol abuse and a jet-ski accident in 1997, which led him to the use of prescription drugs. "Here, take this,” the actor recalled of a physician telling him at the time."I did and I felt better than I ever felt in my entire life. I had a big problem with pills and alcohol, and I couldn't stop." Perry was cast on "Friends" when he was 24-years-old and entered rehab twice during his rise to fame. The cast was raking in an unbelievable $1 million per episode."I was on 'Friends' from age 24 to 34. I was in the white-hot flame of fame. The six of us were just everywhere all the time," Perry told People’s Magazine."From an outsider's perspective, it would seem like I had it all. It was actually a very lonely time for me because I was suffering from alcoholism." And though he was having a battle between his use of alcohol and drugs, the cast and the whole production did not allow him to be left in that state and had helped him through his personal crisis and not giving up on him. Soon he had recovered and had gained the weight he had lost and was able to start his life the RIGHT way. 

And other few minor things that they’ve gone through were  Ellen DeGeneres turned down the role of Phoebe that was played by Lisa Kudrow, the renaming of the series countless of times and the show was originally intended to be called Insomnia Cafe but producers thought it wouldn't catch on. It was then renamed Friends Like Us, and then Six of One before finally becoming simply Friends, and then there was a time where Lisa Kudrow got pregnant and was unable to get out of work so the storyline of Phoebe carrying her brother's triplets was only written because Lisa Kudrow was pregnant in real life and can’t take a time out from filming, another struggle would be the part where some casts like Jennifer Aniston had to work with people she didn’t like and unfortunately for  Reese Witherspoon who was signed up for around six episodes, got cancelled because apparently Jennifer Aniston disliked her and asked the producers to fire her.

Some of the other struggles of FRIENDS are actually still present in today’s topics of society like their view about how Chandler's transgender father is often referred to as her birth name 'Charles' rather than her new name 'Helena Handbasket'. Incorrect labels are used when the cast are talking about her, lots of jokes are made about her gender and whether she has a penis, and there is definitely a bigger issue throughout the sitcom with transphobia. Another would be the racial diversity in Friends that had always been a topic of contention. Considering how multicultural New York is, it's interesting that the 6 main characters all happen to be white, straight and middle class - and with the exception of Charlie aka Ross' paleontologist girlfriend, named black characters barely appear for more than three episodes in a row at a time. 

Early reviews of the series were mixed; and it holds a Metacritic score of 59 out of 100, based on 20 sampled reviews, indicating "mixed to average reviews." Tom Feran of The Plain Dealer wrote that the series traded "vaguely and less successfully on the hanging-out style of Seinfeld",while Ann Hodges of the Houston Chronicle called it "the new Seinfeld wannabe, but it will never be as funny as Seinfeld." In the Los Angeles Daily News, Ray Richmond named the series as "one of the brighter comedies of the new season", and the Los Angeles Times called it "flat-out the best comedy series of the new season."

But despite those kinds of setbacks the show truly won our hearts with their talented portrayal of their characters and with the relatable and random scenarios in life. And what makes it so lovable is that there really was a connection and a bond between the cast. The writers were also very good and their story lines were very unpredictable. The characters also showed versatility towards the complex situation given by the writer and what’s great is that they had fun and left a piece of them in their characters and how they stick to each one’s individuality. 

Rachel Green’s character (Jennifer Aniston) is a naive runaway bride who reunites with her childhood best friend Monica and relocates to New York City, Rachel gradually evolves from a spoiled, inexperienced "daddy's girl" into a successful businesswoman. During the show's second season, the character becomes romantically involved with her friend Ross, with whom she maintains a complicated on-again, off-again relationship throughout the entire series. Together, the characters have a daughter named Emma.

Monica Geller’s character (Anne Cox) is a chef known for her cleanliness, competitiveness and obsessive-compulsive nature, Monica is the younger sister of Ross and best friend of Rachel, the latter of whom she invites to live with her after Rachel forsakes her own wedding. The two characters spend several years living together as roommates until Monica begins a romantic relationship with long-time neighbor and friend Chandler, whom she marries. Unable to conceive children on their own, the couple eventually adopts twins and moves out of their apartment into a larger house in the suburbs.

Phoebe Buffay’s character (Lisa Kudrow)  is a masseuse and musician, notable for her offbeat and sometimes ditzy behavior. She was Monica's roommate before Rachel. She plays guitar and sings at Central Perk. During the show's ninth season, Phoebe is introduced to Mike Hannigan, played by actor Paul Rudd, by Joey, and the two begin a romantic relationship. The two later get engaged, then married. She is the daughter of Frank Buffay and Lily Buffay and her birth-mother's name was Phoebe Abbott. She has a twin sister named Ursula Buffay. She can speak several languages like French and Italian.

Joey Tribbiani”s character (Matt LeBlanc) is portrayed as promiscuous, and dim-witted, but good-natured, as well as very loyal, caring, and protective of his friends. He's a food-loving womanizer who has had more luck with dates than any of the other group members. In contrast to his "ladies man" personality, he has also a marked childish side. He enjoys playing video games and foosball. He loves sandwiches and pizza. He is a big fan of Baywatch. As a struggling actor, he is constantly looking for work. He was ordained as a minister in "The One with the Truth About London", and officiated at both Monica and Chandler and Phoebe and Mike's weddings. He does not like sharing food and has difficulty with simple mathematics.

Ross Geller’s character (David Schwimmer) is a paleontologist and has a Ph.D. from Columbia University. He is known to refer to himself as "Dr. Ross Geller." An ongoing theme of his narrative arc is his romantic feelings toward Rachel Green, an infatuation that began in high school. A theme of Friends is their on-again, off-again romantic relationship. His character is considered by many to be the most intelligent member of the group and is noted for his goofy, pathetic but lovable demeanor. He is a compulsive liar to avoid arguments or situations with conflict, often leading to an arcing story line within a show. His relationship with Rachel Green was included in TV Guide's list of the best TV couples of all time, as well as Entertainment Weekly's "30 Best 'Will They/Won't They?' TV Couples".

Chandler Bing’s character (Matthew Perry) works as an IT procurements manager with the specialization "Statistical analysis and data reconfiguration," but loathes it. In Season 9, he quits his job and Monica helps him secure a job in advertising through an old colleague friend of hers.Chandler is Ross Geller's roommate in college. Chandler met his friend Rachel Green while celebrating Thanksgiving with the Geller family during his first year at college. On a tip from Monica, Chandler later moved to Apartment #4 in Greenwich Village, Manhattan, across the hall from Monica and her roommate Phoebe Buffay. Actor Joey Tribbiani moves in with Chandler, who becomes his best friend. Chandler has a very good sense of humor, and is notoriously sarcastic. He is the highest earning member of his friends circle on account of responsible income management, having learned the value of money from a young age. He suffers from commitment issues, but later marries Monica. He is afraid of dogs.

Their individuality and great personalities had really captured our hearts with every episode. I had never known a cast that had been so well fitted for each other than the cast of FRIENDS. They all just mix and complement well with each other. The beloved show has been greatly accepted and admired by over 2 generations already and it will continue to be loved by the generations to come. They had won over several awards both for the show and for the characters individually in which they have been given the chance to earn over 22 MILLION per season! They became so wildly popular and everyone just adored them and I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. 

After 10 seasons of laughter, some tears, and some more laughter, "Friends" still remains one of the best shows to ever air on television. It has been nominated over 60 times for an Emmy, and won six. We could all agree that the reason behind their success was the connection and relationship these individuals have and their commitment to their work and how much they love portraying the roles. We could all see their essence through their characters and how passionate they are with their acting. And what makes this show believable is that they show their differences and still work things out. I don’t see them acting to be honest, what I want to believe is that they really are the characters because most of the time, everything they do seems so natural and life-like that it seems impossible for me to believe that they are just pretending. From the Chemistry to the relatable issues. They all just seem to be real to me. 

Their presence and the whole show makes us want to be part of their gang. No matter the difficulty or complex their situations are, they’re still together and moving forward. And as I watch their last episode, I was in tears for I felt like I was saying goodbye to my FRIENDS. I felt like I grew up with them and that connection will forever remain and be shared with others towards the years to come. The show may have ended years ago, but it’s spirit lives on. And I wanted to share this post for others to know how amazing I think they are, and how billions of people have been touched by this adorable group of friends who will always be in my heart drinking coffee while sitting down on that big old couch inside Central Perk. With their success and their downfalls, I will always say I am proud that they’re MY FRIENDS.

I hope you guys enjoyed reading my post and please do follow me on other social media sites to get more update from Definitely Zoey:

@martinzoeyyy (Twitter)

@definitely_zoey (Instagram)

Alyssa Martin (Youtube)

Till next time guys! I WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

#Friends #ForeverInMyHeart. #SquadGoals. #CentralPerk.