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hynko · 10 months

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haikyuu situationship texts

Characters: semi, suna, kenma, shirabu, lev, oikawa, tendou, kuroo, nishinoya

warnings: very suggestive, profanity

genre: crack

authors note: most of these r inspired by memes on tiktok😭feel free to request !!

m.list | recent text fic

hynko est 2021-2023 do not repost, translate or copy. reblogs r appreciated ily <3

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splitontendo · 1 year

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HAIKYUU CHARACTER ON TWT!!

(tw) ft: yachi, yamaguchi, miya a, hanamaki, lev, semi, bokuto, kuroo, suna & kita.

#haikyuu #haikyuu crack #hq smau #haikyuu texts #haikyuu smau #hq #hq texts #haikyuu social media au #yachi hitoka #yamaguchi tadashi #atsumu miya #hanamaki takahiro #lev haiba #semi eita #bokuto kotaro #kuroo testuro #suna rintaro #kita shinsuke

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twistedappletree · 4 months

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fieryskies · 7 months

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Maybe the reason Ai - the 15th Clara Doll - "has yet to come" as the Rebellion production notes say, is because she is not solely Homura's familiar.

In the Wraith Arc, the presence inside her Soul Gem that guides Homura at her lowest moment is a being sprung from her and Madoka's mutual feelings. A sentiment so powerful it allowed a new miracle to emerge.

It is only when she is ready to hear the truth about this fact and when she decides to utilise her love as a positive force that defends Madoka that she can see this being.

The Clara Dolls are facets of Homura's "dirty", "lowly" self that she considers should bring punishment upon her. However, Ai is different, because she is not individualistic like the rest and is not inherently negative as her other "sins".

This is why it is Homura herself who seemingly adorns her garments by Rebellion's climax. The source of her strength and her ugliest, most undeserving side. A desire useful only for granting Madoka an escape from her fate, no matter how temporary. Certainly not meant for reciprocation.

And so, as long as Madoka can't remember these feelings and Homura refuses to perceive their existence, Ai can't properly manifest.

In conclusion, she is basically their love child-

#This turned from semi-serious to conspiracy crack real quick #Madohomu #Madoka Kaname #Homura Akemi #The Clara Dolls #Puella Magi Madoka Magica #Madoka Magica #pmmm #madoka x homura #homura x Madoka #OTP: Like I Met Her In A Dream

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wumiings · 11 months

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Best Wife

“Gwen is the best at everything, isn’t she?” Merlin remarked as they walked together. “Best seamstress, best friend, best queen…”

“Best wife,” Arthur added fervently.

Merlin hummed at that and made an ambivalent gesture, just to be difficult. He then had to bite his lip to hold back the laugh that bubbled up in his throat at the king’s indignant expression.

Guinevere, of course, caught the glittering amusement in his eye right away. She put on a tone of exaggerated injury as she demanded, “Merlin, you don’t think I’m the best wife?”

Merlin shot her a well-constructed grimace of guilt and sympathy. “Well, I mean, every man has got to be biased in favor of his own wife, hasn’t he?”

“You don’t have a wife, Merlin,” Arthur informed him with a scowl.

Merlin shrugged, unaffected by the pronouncement. “I might do.”

“No, you don’t—”

Just then, Merlin caught sight of Lancelot coming down the hallway. His eyes lit up. “Lance!”

The knight looked towards the sound and, noticing the trio, waved in greeting.

“I need you to settle a matter for me,” Merlin told him, the picture of earnestness. When Lancelot nodded, he asked, “Who has the best wife: me or Arthur?”

To the king’s immense shock, a stricken look crossed Lancelot’s face.

“You want me to choose?!” he demanded almost shrilly, and if it was an act, it was the most flawless performance in the five kingdoms, because his voice even cracked on the question.

Merlin’s gaze softened at once. “No, no, if it’s too difficult to say, I won’t make you. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Lancelot looked like a man granted a reprieve from execution— an absolutely ridiculous response to an already baffling conversation. Then, with a short nod of farewell, he hurried off down the hallway as if fearing Merlin might change his mind.

Both Arthur and Gwen stared after his retreating back for a long moment before slowly turning those stares back on Merlin.

“Do you have a wife?” the queen asked, incredulous.

Merlin only shrugged again and repeated with a small, mischievous grin: “I might do.”

#bbc merlin #fic #drabble #semi-crack #arwen #freylin #i know this doesn’t mention freya’s name but you know #poor lancelot did not want to be involved in that At All

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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 7 months

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no one asked for this but I'm writing it anyway. Also time doesn't exist in this thing, that or Ghiaccio's computer time travelled

Ghiaccio with an S/O who plays Papa's Freezeria on his computer

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This was it. The biggest step in your relationship thus far. No, not marriage.

Ghiaccio agreed to share his computer with you.

You didn't have one of your own and amongst other expenses you just never got around to buying one. So, with a lot of deliberation and building trust, he sent you a message saying that you could make an account on his. You would have to wait until he got home though, so he could show you how.

Unfortunately, you either didn't read or disregarded that last part of the message, and with a childlike glee flung yourself to his desk, loudly click clacking the keys and brute forcing your way into figuring out his password. You must have woken it up from it's sleep because there was nothing open when you got in. Then, you sat back and tapped your chin for a while...what exactly were you going to do first?

Then, like a prophetic vision from God, a wave of nostalgia brushed across your body, making you literally shiver. A flash of color and music and ice cream played in your mind. The name "Papa..." escaped your lips in a longing sigh.

In a flash, you've got google open, searching up Coolmathgames. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. THE LINK IS PURPLE. Racing through the website, briefly noticing an account signed in, and nearly breaking the mouse as you clicked on the link for "Papa's Freezeria".

....HE HAS A SAVE FILE!! RANK 20!??? When the hell does he have the time to play this??

Despite your sense of curiosity absolutely HOWLING, you knew you had already snooped more than enough, so making your own save file it is, you suppose.

-

Has it been an hour? Maybe two? Who knows, there's no use in me asking anyways because the time certainly hasn't crossed your mind. You're glued to the game, having a nearly perfected strategy executed with each and every cartoon-y costumer. You probably don't even remember whose computer you're playing on - this reality and the reality of Freezeria have entirely merged to you.

At least, that's the case before you feel one hand clamp down on the back of your chair, and another landing on top of your own hand that's gripping the mouse.

"I thought I told you to wait?"

Ghiaccio is clearly restraining himself, there's a rasp in his voice that you only hear when he's giving his all to not shout. Your lips are sealed shut, unsure how to justify your current situation. He must have then taken a good look at the screen because next thing he said was-

"And why the FUCK are you playing THAT!?"

Shit, you legit didn't have an answer. As he's standing there giving you a weirded out look, you remember the hypocrisy in his anger. You stutter wildly, still trying to reach for some explanation, as you duplicate the tab to start the game again - you swear you see his face drop. You point at his save file with a "huh!!" sound, and suddenly he's red in the face, hand retreating from on top of yours as if the contact suddenly burned him.

"Fine!! Whatever. Just finish the fuck up and..." he groans. It always feels good to embarrass him, and plus you know he can never stay mad at you for long.

"I will, I'm almost done with this day. Last order," you promise, clicking back to your original tab and getting right back to work. Ghiaccio has nothing else to do but stand and watch you play. What you don't see is his face slowly contorting in disgust as you sloppily dump toppings over the dessert.

"That's not how you place the cherries!!! That one's supposed to be centered, and the other two have to be NEATLY placed apart! They're gonna fucking hate it!" Ghiaccio exclaims, stabbing the screen with his index finger. You roll your eyes, it definitely doesn't surprise you that he's a perfectionist in this video game.

You both watch in anticipation as the costumer tastes their ice cream, and when a 72% score appears over the "top station" button you let out a cheer. You swivel your chair to face Ghiaccio and gesture to the screen, "see? they liked it!!"

He scoffs at the score, "it sure wasn't deserved."

"What!?" you put a hand on your chest in fake-hurt, "how dare you. Louie would never treat me like this!!"

Ghiaccio blinks at you with wide eyes, needing several long seconds to process what you just said.

"...Since when were you on a one-name basis with Papa Louie!?"

#this is pure crack #im so sorry #la squadra #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #ghiaccio x reader #IDK WHY I WROTE THIS. BUT I DID. AND IT WAS FUN #imagine cheating on ghiaccio with papa louie /j #I hope this is at least entertaining LMAO #i started this semi seriously and then gave up

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hallowsden · 1 year

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"Danny?"

After no response through the door, Jonathan sighed as he walked up to it closer and leaned at the wall next to it.

"You've been in there for a while now, y'know? Your sis is getting worried. All of us are, kid. Skipping meals like that ain't healthy either... Sure, Ed and I do it often but that doesn't mean-..." The older man's voice started to trail off when he felt something wet under his feet.

"What in the-" He felt his skin grow pale the moment he saw the green liquid leaking under the floor "-Oh... Oh, no- DANNY!? I'M COMING IN!"

Light from the hall leaked in the dark room, as the leak of glowing green trailed towards the single twin bed, where a figure sat atop of it.

Stepping in, Jonathan was hit with an Aura of wrongness. "Danny? You... You alright there, child?"

He watches Danny slowly turn his head, a loud sickening crack following it, and much to Jonathan's horror, he now saw why everything felt wrong.

"It's April third, Uncle Jonathan. Sister Jasmine knows this. Sister Jasmine should have remembered this."

Danny wasn't here in his room right now. Danno was.

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sealmonger · 19 days

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Loid has to go into Twilight mode to go to the dentist

#sxf #spy x family #sxf loid #loid forger #sxf twilight #sxf headcanon #this is a crack post #that my brain came up with semi randomly

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lost-in-my-world-of-dreams · 11 months

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Oh No! Looks Looks Like Kolya Needs Some New Clothes!

Nikolai Gogol x Reader

You were out shopping for your boyfriend when you got a genius idea. You had to do most of the shopping for Nikolai since, he is part of a terrorist organization, (you are part of the doa too but you’re more sneaky, shhh) and today, your loving partner needed some extra clothes as one too many of his had fallen victim to an excessive amount of blood splatter, and this time even his seemingly magical detergent couldn’t save it.

But, this lead you to your amazing revelation. It’s no secret that Nikolai has got the most gorgeous thighs in all of human existence, and he was not afraid to own that fact, or to tease you about it for that matter. And who are you to pass up the opportunity to make him show them off? It was fate that the store you went to just so happened to be selling off their excess halloween costumes. So how were you supposed to not buy that slutty nun costume that had the extremely high slits in the dress? And besides, the material was surprisingly high quality.

When you returned home with the most suspicious grin on your face, Nikolai instantly knew something was up. So he used his ability to snatch the bag from you to peak at its contents, suspecting that it was the cause of your evil smile.

“Oh? And what could be in this bag that has my dove so excited?” He teases, evading your attempts at retrieving it and bringing it to himself to peak inside. Upon seeing the garment you oh so lovingly picked out for him, his face goes a little bit red and he starts to laugh.

“Well you did say that you needed some new clothes until you could make yourself new ones, so i took some creative liberties.”

“AAHHH MY DOVE YOU FLATTER ME!!” Nikolai jumps at you and spins you around in a tight hug.

“Now… let me go try this on!!” He grins and runs away to the bedroom to change into the wonderful new outfit you picked out.

#bsd nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x gn reader #nikolai x y/n #kinda crack #i can’t write seriously to save my life #first attempt at an x reader #one day i’ll pull through and not write crack (or semi-crack)

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snowbirds-and-snakelets · 4 months

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i’ve had the idea for a snowjanus fic in my mind recently. basically pliny sr (pup’s dad) and strabo plinth are negotiating an arranged marriage between their sons, because strabo thinks it will help his family assimilate into the capitol and be less ostracised and harrington sr really wants that munitions business because he wants to expand past the navy or something. they haven’t actually solidified anything and are still in the process of working it out and deciding whether or not it’s something they should do, and pliny sr asks pup to talk to sejanus to test the waters if you will. this is the first pup hears about the idea and sejanus currently has no clue about it.

so pup reluctantly asks coriolanus if he can introduce them, and snow is actually fuming over it but he doesn’t show it and tells him it’d probably be better if pup went up to sejanus himself. the plan is that he does it tomorrow, and snow would tell sejanus about it today so he didn’t freak out when pup randomly starts talking possible marriage to him. he’s mostly trying to buy time to sort himself out and push down his feelings. he talks to sejanus about it, silently seething and vindicated when sejanus doesn’t seem all that happy about the idea. they brainstorm ways to get out of it and come up with nothing, so they say goodbye and prepare to meet tomorrow.

there are two ways this goes: one, things don’t go well but none of the three know how to convince the adults not to go through with it. coriolanus is actually going insane and is constantly at the end of his fuse from what he refuses to call jealousy but definitely is, and comes up with the desperate brilliant idea to try and convince strabo not to wed his son off to the harringtons by dating sejanus instead, because if he really wants an in with the capitol, snow’s the way to go. he justifies this because of the plinth fortune and (if we’re going by movie canon) will probably help get him the plinth prize. two, coriolanus has no idea how it goes until pup storms over to him and complains about him ‘keeping secrets’ and ‘why didn’t you just tell me you he was taken?’ and ‘that was so embarrassing why not just say he’s your boyfriend?’. snow is so confused and pup walks away, and when corio and sejanus talk later sej apologises, explaining that he panicked and said it couldn’t work because he was already dating someone. unfortunately, as the only person who talks to him willingly is coriolanus, it was very easy for pup to draw the conclusion that snowjanus real. coriolanus decides that the best course of action is to roll with it, at least until there’s no more chance of the adults going through with the engagement. this is definitely 100% so he can use sejanus for money and get more snacks from his ma not at all because he wants to date him no sir.

either way they’re both fake dating now and have to deal with the epic highs and lows of rich kid highschool as well as the backlash from their classmates. snow is still desperately clinging onto his ‘hatred’ of sejanus by pretending his feelings for sejanus have absolutely nothing to do with the situation, whilst also warring against his pure rage at pup. pup has done nothing and is pretty glad the marriage didn’t work out but you can bet that snow will never get over it because he’s a possessive bastard. classic fake dating shenanigans ensue, as well as the ‘i love them but they can only love me as an act’ angst, requited love but it takes snow a long, long, long time to admit that. would probably be pre-tbosas because it’s harder to think about this occurring alongside the 10th games.

#snowjanus #semi-crack idea but it works well enough as a premise #sejanus plinth #coriolanus snow #pup harrington #coriojanus #sejanus x coriolanus #coriolanus x sejanus #fic ideas #tbosas #cw cursing #snowbirds and snakelets

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clandestinegardenias · 2 months

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Because @atkeks is having a bit of a rough day, a snippet of the fic I'm writing inspired by our joke that Sir John asks Francis and James to kiss and make up.

[...]

“Actually, a moment, gentleman,” Sir John calls. James feels as if his stomach has dropped to his ankles. He would very much like to go back to his cabin and sit with his head in his hands for a short while. It has been a trying morning.

“One must always demonstrate love and understanding to one’s brothers, which all of the men on this ship are bound to be,” Sir John continues, “Before you go, it would please me greatly to see you kiss and make up.”

James had not thought Sir John a man of a particularly humorous inclination.

He attempts to force a chuckle in response to this sorry attempt at a joke, struggling for several long seconds before the silent anticipation building around them begins to convey that, perhaps, Sir John was not joking after all.

James nervously glances sidelong at Francis, who, he finds, is not laughing either.

In fact, he looks downright murderous. Not in the usual way, however, and it surprises James to discover that he knows Francis’ various expressions well enough to make the distinction. This is not the look Francis fixes James with when they fight. That look is red, hot, mobile, alive. This look, right now, is its antithesis. It is pale, cold, and far, far more dangerous.

It occurs to James that, perhaps, this is what Francis looks like when he is well and truly angry.

Which suggests, oddly enough, that he has never once in their entire acquaintance been well and truly angry at James.

As James is having this world-bending revelation, the silence is broken by Sir John’s sudden, booming laughter.

It was, in fact, a joke after all.

James experiences the strange sensation of simultaneously dizzying relief mixed with some strange dampening feeling for which he cannot account. He had been in the first, wobbly stages of imagining kissing Francis on the cheek, and finds that he mourns the death of the image.

He manages a weak chuckle, glad that they are at least back on familiar ground, and shoots a wry smile at Francis beside him only to find that Francis is still not laughing. Not even the slightest hint of a smile graces his face. If anything, he looks angrier than ever.

If James could bore a hole into Francis’ head with his eyes he would. The man should just accept the provided escape route and relieve the social tension. Just the smallest quirk of Francis' lips in Sir John’s general direction and the two of them could beat a hasty retreat.

Instead, Francis’ eyes narrow, and James experiences a cold rush of fear because he knows that look, as well.

Francis is about to do something extraordinarily foolhardy.

Something that will probably get them both in a fit of trouble.

#the terror #fitzier #my fic #it's literally just 3000 words of me trying to make this ridiculous concept semi-believable because i'm weak for crack treated seriously #i also ADORE writing first kisses like...how many fitzier first kisses can i write? WE MAY NEVER KNOW

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queen-in-the-bentley · 9 months

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I didn't think ineffable bureaucracy happening before ineffable husbands would end up on my bingo card but HERE WE FUCKING ARE.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #it's been 12 hrs and im still in shock #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable husbands #this is NOT an anti ineffable bureaucracy post #i just wasn't expecting my semi crack ship to actually happen and be happy #just what in the hell

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splitontendo · 8 months

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pairing: hanamakki takahiro x f!reader

synopsis: having no money and the worst job leads you to dark places, answering a strangers roommate ad. leading you to meet the roommate from hell, who happens to have the solution to your problems and isn’t too bad at giving head.

03 | ok cool guy 🙄

masterlist | previous | next

fun facts!

makki’s account is face less, this isn’t his first ‘giveaway’ when he reached 15k he did a phone call, but it lasted 15 minutes and was awkward so he never tried it again.. until now obvs.

ushi found the ad poster in the laundromat off campus.

you entered ‘hiro’s’ 30k giveaway’ :3

#🎀maybe baby #haikyuu #haikyuu smau #haikyuu texts #hq smau #hq #hq texts #haikyuu social media au #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu crack #takahiro hanamaki #haikyuu makki smau #haikyuu makki #haikyuu shiratorizawa #haikyuu tendou #haikyuu ushijima #haikyuu semi #haikyuu goshiki #haikyuu shirabu

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iwozlegit · 1 month

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|| 🍍• Husk looks like he orders beige food at every possible establishment.

If it’s not chicken nugget shaped, that cat filing complaints.

#𝕰𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: 𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖎𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗! 😈#|| crack •#hazbin hotel #Angel is going to be out here being served three courses of chicken nuggets with each with a different sauce as the difference #didn’t husk make lunches for Angel in those semi not true anymore insta posts?#husk feeds people but doesn’t eat anything but chiccy nuggies #incorrect hazbin hotel quotes #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel husk #husk #vivziepop #@iwozlegit

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easybrainrot34 · 10 days

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✨Short lil headcanons Pt 2 Icks Addition✨

Enjoy :)

Ayyoooh here’s the monthly content drop. Hope this doesn’t flop 😅👌🏻

Characters: Semi, Atsumu (hint of spice) Akaashi (Bokuto mentioned) Tsukishima, and Ushijima

Ps my ask and request are open :)

Semi is one of those "ya I only listen to obscure artist" / " yeah, I like them, but now they're two mainstream" guys. IM SO SORRY BUT LIKE?? he's a musician and just something tells me that he either listens to these obscure artists that no one really knows about (and lowkey arnt that great) and old 80s rock music but in an elitist way.

Atsumu not only keeps track of his body count, but also cares about others 💀💀. And I mean like notes app of all the peoples names. He doesn't care in a slut shamey way, in like a how freaky/ experienced are you way. His body count is in the 30s btw.

Akaashi not only doesn't use social media, but has that "social media is childish" look on it. Like this man has a Facebook, that he hasn't posted on since like high school, has an Instagram, because Bokuto made it for him, and uses Youtube that's it. It's not so much that it's in a super obnoxious way, but like if you try to tell him some Internet drama, he'll kind of roll his eyes and will go "why does it matter?"

Tsukishima thinks skincare is "girly" and uses 3 in 1 💀💀 God I feel this one in my gut yall! Like u could be doing a face mask and could offer him to do it with u and he would go "umm..no thanks". Also with the 3 in 1 he would be like "it saves time" like sir what ru so busy doing that you can't take two seconds to separate the three in your shower routine?? On top of it though he'll bitch that he has acne.

Ushijima sleeps in the complete dark and silence. This is psychopath behavior first of all. Second tho, he will be like "ya it needs to be quite or I'm not sleeping." And this is something he will not compromise on. I'm talking not even using ear plugs or eye mask kinda shit. You better just get used to sleeping with some headphones on, he's not budging on this.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#anime #haikyuu crack #headcanon #post timeskip #atsumu miya #ushijima wakatoshi #keiji akaashi #semi eita #tsukishima kei #icks #random ass thoughts

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raayllum · 4 months

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So previously I'd always assumed the bright flash in well, the 4x04 flashback, was just a scene transition as it's pretty quick and Aaravos' invisible string (bars?) are also white, so it would've worked colour scheme wise. However upon watching it more slowly (for an Ezran post), I realized that the bright flash is coming, presumably, from the pearl being sealed with magic, given Zubeia stating, "A magical prison was created."

And that the bright flash of light looks eerily similar to the bright flash of light used to both release Sir Sparklepuff in 4x04, in the closing of the Aaravos intros no matter which pawn he's holding, and to the bright flash of white light we see the cube emit in Callum's intro. The subtitles of the prison being created also feature "glass cracking," and the prison has already in-text (6x01) been paralleled to quite a few primal stone pieces of imagery. Interesting, don't you think?

#tdp #the dragon prince #4x04 #s4 #arc 2 #little details #tdp aaravos #the glass cracking could also tie into his whole mirror thing But the mirror only comes in near the end of the flashbacks so??#semi separate segment at least in my head #mine #key is a key to the prison theory lmao bc it is my dead horse and i will beat it

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