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formulinos · 3 years

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Hyperfixation Corner: A Special | Undestanding (and Ranking) the Landogates

Oh, what is Formula 1 if not a concoction of men who are products of their times and women that are so much better than them. We have had our share of controversial figures, whether they gladly took the role of the villain or found themselves as a parachute for trouble. It's not different that the masses in 2021 would latch onto charismatic figures looking for guidance in these so trying times or, even worse, look for something that just isn't there as means of a distraction to the utter chaos that is the Roaring 20s of the XXI century.

This is the case of Lando Norris, milk aficcionado and McLaren-Tangerine driver. Lando is practically a child of Y2K, born in November of 2021 and carefully crafted by the British system of drivers to be one of the next generation drivers of our era. He also happens to seem to be a light-hearted boy, who just likes to drive his fast cars and play his silly little video games, but once you unpeel the outer layers, you might just be surprised. Fundamentally speaking, Lando Norris has the motorsport bravado and never shied away from the opportunities that fell in front of him, but to his demise, his loyal army of Lando fans are always by his side, ready to dissect his every move whether he likes it or not.

Today, we're going in the lions' den and ranking the most memorable out of Lando's little run-ins with the outer society, fondly called by the F1 populace "Landogates".

Before we start, I would just like to thank the 25 Lando stans or former Lando stans that talked to me or answered the form - and to those who attempted to contact me but Tumblr is a bitch and I was also sick so there's that. Anyway, I really appreciate your help and I have learned a lot from you! Thanks for helping science!

5) Fanficgate

No, this isn't about the Reddit meltdown that happened in the beginning of the year, although that was a choice too. We're talking about December 15, 2020, when Team Quadrant posts a very harrowing tweet that will enter the annals of history.

The format is quite known: celebrity goes into social media content about him, reads everything and does funny lighthearted comments or snaps back at the haters. Naturally, all sections of the fandom go insane and start to discuss whether Lando will find out about this or about that and so did f1blr, blowing things out of proportion like one would. People started posting "Lando I'm so sorry" or "Hey Lando, if you're reading this hiiii". TBF I even think I did too, although I hit my head and my memory is glitching ever since. Anyway, the ethics of shipping Carlando were discussed, the ethics of fanfiction were discussed, the ethics of stalking were discussed, but here's the error though: Tumblr believed they were a social media worthy of recognition in 2020.

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My guy wasn't even CLOSE to tumblr. TBH? Coward. It's easy to go on Twitter/Reddit, try spending one day in this Godless land. Anyway, the fact that we all suffered from collective delusion there - including those of us who knew there was no way in hell Lando would read their 50k childhood friends to lovers carlando one shot but still had a meltdown - makes it a non-entity gate and therefore, the worst ranked out of those. Overall, the people I interviewed were like "lol oop that was nothing" so, I think the fandom agrees with that one. I rate this a 1 out of 5 suggestive lando pic

4) Feetgate

This is the Funniest Shit ever and nothing will ever compare to this. The only reason I'm ranking this so low is because the following three are more based on reality, but this is the narrative I want to be included in. Absolutely legendary.

It starts with Sylvana IJsselmuiden, Formula 1 legend (I'm calling her like this from now on) and Dutch personality. Sylvie went on a podcast called "F1 Aan Tafel" on December 7, 2020 and started dropping barz on barz about Formula 1 drivers sliding on her DMs and sending her dick pics (if you know Dutch, here's the link. The Queen of Feet starts talking about it on min 32:50 if I'm not mistaken - I heard a Leclerc in Dutch accent and I am worried). Basically, she says that Lando shoots his shot constantly on DMs and that there are talks of him sending dick pics around, so she decided to answer the last time he had hit her up and see what happens.

Everybody gangsta until Sylvana said she photoshopped pictures of her feet to make them thicker and sent them to Lando, who responded with 'sexy feet'. Anyway, again, meltdown ensued. Some people latched onto the fact that Lando allegedly send unconsented dick pics to women (that is shit if true), some people decided to DM him their feet (this is so funny i am 10) and some people were just laughing at this, especially considering that when this came out it was really late at night for the Europeans and they would wake up with whiplash.

There were also people who tried to discredit Sylvana because she photoshops herself with drivers on her instagram. To me these look like a joke but even if she wanted to pass them off as reality, you know what? If she says she went to a bike trail with Lewis then to me that's real. She is my queen and God forgive who disrespects my queen.

Mostly, people just laughed at the fact Lando can't get no coochie and has a foot fetish because come on. Come ON. But also, the sentiment is that it's his life and a foot fetish is as normal in these days as wearing a mask to go out (I hope to FUCK no anti-maskers are reading this). The extra funny part is that Lando keeps going back to feetgate himself, by constantly talking about his socks during streams, having a foot cam (I mean, most drivers do anyway because they think it's interesting to see their feet while they play racing video games. I don't think it's even interesting to watch people play video games but well, I like to write things people will never read so who am I to judge). Here are two tidbits: one of Lando himself resurrecting Feetgate from the dead and one of Noel Miller also indirectly referring to it

This is stellar, fuck it. I rate this a 5/5 Sylvana's feet

3) Portugalgate

Portimão was definitely one of the races of all time. For Lando, it had started brightly as he was Top 3 in the first practice session (as if this meant anything) but by Qualis, we knew it was going to get real as he landed in P8, behind Carlos his beloved. The race wasn't sexy either at all, and while his teammate moved up, he actually got left behind, and by Lap 18 his race was as good as dead when he bumped with Lance Stroll, who thought the gap in Turn 1 existed. In case you guys don't remember, on Friday Lance had also had an incident with Max Verstappen on that same Turn - and tbh I think Max was just as amateur there as Lance.

Naturally, Lando wasn't happy at the moment, using some choice words at Lance. To be quite honest I am not English, so I have genuinely no idea of the impact this has in society, but most of the Brits that talked to me were the ones who highlighted his use of the C-word while the non-Brits didn't even look at it, so that's curious. He apologises for his language at the end of the GP on radio, but boy, he was ready to go wild.

Post race interviews come, he's still not happy: "He obviously didn't learn from Friday but he doesn't seem to learn from anything he does. It happens a lot with him, so I just need to stay away," he said to a reporter who couldn't believe the gold he had just found. Later, he was also asked on his thoughts about Lewis Hamilton's incredible 92 GP Victories, a record he had just taken away from Michael Schumacher's hands. His answer was very sweet: “It doesn’t mean anything to me, really. He’s in a car which should win every race, basically. He has to beat one or two other drivers, that’s it. Fair play to him, he’s still doing the job he has to do.” (I only found the video with Brazilian commentators on top, muh bad).

He was also not done with Lance, having a dig at him on Insta:

Yeah, you can tell the major reception of this was,,,, not what Lando expected. I sincerely think he got post-rant clarity because the Twitter apology came faster than the Merc in Portugal.

(lmao I love when people say "I am not that kind of person" in their apologies as if they weren't caught in 4k being that sort of person). To be honest, even though the wide majority of F1 fans thought that Lando was goofy as all fuck for having said the Lewis comments, there are still apologists who think that he was just saying what we were all thinking, while Lance's were just part of the game and he was in the heat of the moment, he was also raging still when he also talked about Lewis, it was a bad moment.

To be quite honest as well, there were quite a few discussions about Lando not being mindful of the race factor when he jabbed at Lewis - some people thought he should have been, some people actually thought that for once someone was assessing the situation as it really is and that removing the "activism" part of the equation was reasonable as cars are cars, political disarray is political disarray. The Lando stans I spoke to were quite divided about this as well, more than the Lance comments and many thought he was a bitch while the rest argued that "he said what we're all thinking".

There was still a very poignant comment about how part of Lando's identity as a media darling in Britain is that he is the anti-Lewis, and I am going to quote it here because it just…. NGL lads it gave me pause:

"Lewis gets hate for not living in the UK and “tax dodging”, Lando lives here. Lewis gets hate for being in the best car. Lando can’t be accused of that one. Lewis gets hate for being black, I don’t need to explain that one. Some even claim he gets preferential treatment because he is the only black driver. Lewis gets hate for his clothes, Lando seems to live in black or white. Lewis active support of BLM got him criticism because he should just stick to racing, however Lando’s vocal support of BLM, his support of Mind and his genuinely sweet support and friendship with Sir Captain Tom Moore was applauded. Lewis speaks his mind, gets slated. Lando speaks his mind, gets slated by his fans but Joe public F1 fans think he amazing for speaking his mind. There are people who actively oppose his knighthood. When you see what other sport stars have been given knighthood for in this country, 5 and 6 times Olympic Gold Medalist, 2 x Wimbledon Winner and 2 x Olympic Gold Medalist. I think he’s in that elite bracket now dont you? Lando is celebrated for just not be Lewis by some Brits. Is it any wonder George keeps his mouth shut?"

I am thinking. I really didn't know Lando was that deep - and honestly after learning more about him straight from his fans mouth's I still don't, but the Lando lore does have meaning. Amazing. Either way, people cannot claim this was all one time road rage if Carlos' commented that Lando goes into terrible moods even while playing golf. GOLF. Mayhaps a therapist could help. However, since he did apologise and then managed to keep his mouth shut about Lance and congratulated Lewis on his WDC later on, one must not dwell too much on these things. I rate this one a 3 out of 5 world records.

2) COVIDgate

This was low. Like, very low. Basically, Max Fewtrell did a livestream and discussed going to Dubai for the holidays (around December 29, 2020. wow all of these really happened in like a week). Max basically made it seem as if Lando would join him and @sebastonstroll, braver than the US marines actually caught some blurry screenshots of Lando's arm and wristwatch during one of the Dubai streams (actually, that was a joke. but God liked and subscribed so I think maybe we could call it "pioneering" instead). That's all fine, I mean, places are there to be visited, except there is this little thing called a "coronavirus" or something I'm not a doctor, which means that you kinda should stay at home…. and there is like, the Law or something that kinda makes it so you have to stay at home as well. I am not an expert on any of these things, but it sounds like Somerset, where Lando lives, was in a Tier 3 Lockdown, which means "sit yo ass down", so the plate was served.

Now, it was the holidays, we were all frustrated I'm sure and overall, there wasn't a lot of meat on that beef stew for one to actually feel well-fed, so there were again discussions on the ethics of stalking, how thin was the line between stanning and paranoia and why. Most fans kinda relaxed and reached the conclusion there was no way this could be real since there was a tier 3 lockdown and Lando was just home for Christmas, but as the days went and suspicious screencaps showed up online, it was harder to discern the benefit of the doubt from denial.

Thankfully, there was no need to keep that debate going for long. Not so fortunately, that was because Lando joined the ranks of F1 drivers ahead of the game who didn't wait for the vaccine to become immune themselves.

The question that remained was: is he isolating in England, or in Dubai? Don't worry fellas, McLaren got him!

Considering Lando was as good as caught, McLaren took no time to 'fess up, and I mean, what would be the point to try and cover up if the whole purpose of Dubai during the pandemic is to be a safe haven for the rich and privileged to have parties for the 'Gram, right? However, they chose an intcheresting expression, "training camp". So, he was there for a scheduled team training camp… but he arrived there early… Ok, maybe so he could have a 14-day quarantine… except that didn't really land because if you knew where to look up you could even see his brother was in an ice rink one day after Lando announced his COVID diagnosis - and arguably as a "contact case" he should also be in quarantine. But that's fine, it's a team training camp and these things are common…. except Danny Ric didn't get the memo because he was doing a tour in Los Angeles as well. Well fuck me, then, Lando legitimate, royally, fucked that one up.

Talking to the Lando side of the website, no one was particularly happy. Doubts were raised about how people reacted to Lando's announcement in comparison to Pierre's or Charles', but like, I don't think one thing outweighs the other, and I agree with the sentiment that people were reasonably madder at Lando because he always sold the image of being a socially conscious person, while Charles' has always been dumb as all fuck and no one is really checking for Pierre, let's be honest. (well, we are checking for Pierre. more of that on #1). I asked the folks how they felt about McLaren's response as well, and the answers basically varied from "good on them" to "they totally lied to cover his ass lmao". At last, there were some valid points on how we're not entitled to know where Lando goes or what he is doing, fair, but then again, we're not exactly in the most "normal" of times, and there were a few sweethearts who were like "sincerely, I didn't even registered he had fucked up until after I digested the fact he had COVID, I was too busy being worried about him and wanting him to be healthy". Overall, the lowest of lows, really, no one was happy. I rate this begrudgingly a 4 out of 5 covid positive F1 drivers, genuinely not taking any pleasure in this.

1) Pierregate - I'm not gonna call this anything else. Too funny.

The one personality trait I was sure Lando had prior to 2021 was that he was thirsty. Like, mega thirsty. There are screencaps as far as July 2019 of him using his official IG account to like posts of Instagram models, which to me is most pleasing and amusing. I particularly enjoyed this compilation from @opendirection that led me the right way and no, I don't think Lando should use his finsta to get girls, or attempt to. He should be clear, he is here for coochi, so am I, coochi is great.

Enter Katerina Berezhna, a model/entrepreneur currently based in Dubai, and hot, very hot. Katerina had been in Lando's radar since September 2020 at the very least. They would have regulary IG activity - very well received by the most patrician of Lando fans, as you can see and by the Abu Dhabi GP, when he said he was taken, she was the most likely candidate to the role.

Covidgate comes and with it, some curious activity of Katerina. Seemingly, she takes down pictures of herself at the beach after the announcement and replaces them with pictures in her room, watching Netflix or doing yoga, kinda making it seem as if she was quarantining too. I don't come here, so I won't claim this is true, but I will tell you she has stories from Dubai up in her highlights and you can do the math that the yoga selfies that are up are from that time frame, so she was mostly indoors, officially at least.

Pierre gets to Dubai around the same time and also decides to party. Not only is he seen, but he is also perceived and pics of him in a party go around, we're all like "fucking hell Pierre, wear a mask, Lando just got COVID". However, if you go to the insta highlights I linked up there, the story right after the yoga pics is a story of Katerina in a beach party… where Pierre and her got clocked at together.

This is awkward. Anyway, the math was done by the most dedicated of Lando and Pierre stans alike, but this only blew up after right at the end of January, Pear also got, as they say it in French, l'infection.

After this, we got a very hard-hitting investigative piece of journalism by @ef-1, who uncovered how far their beef went: they don't follow each other on IG and as far as February, Pierre made a point of not liking Lando posts on McLaren's profile. This gave birth to one of my favourite screenshots of all time:

(btw, here's a picture of Pierre and Katerina FACTUALLY together. I have found none of Lando with Katerina)

Pierregate ranks the highest out of them all because it just brings out the best of all these people: Pierre has a history of being petty out of nothing, Lando has a history of not being able to get any and Katerina is so hot. None of the Lando stans that came to talk to me are actually in the sector that gave a real shit about this besides amusement and disgust at the fact they were most likely kissing the same mouth during a pandemic. Either way, it's their life and none of our business……. but this is so INTERESTING THO.

I would just like to state by the way: Katerina isn't a gold digger per se just because she dated or flirted with two formula 1 drivers, but IF SHE WAS, good for her. There is nothing more girlboss empowering than a Real Gold Digger™, and you know, many Sugar Baby/Daddy relationships are based on sexist concepts, while proper gold digging is one of the most sublime forms of historical reparations out there. I stand with my fellow opportunists. Good for you. I rank this a 5 out of 5 models that Lando liked an Instagram post of.

ROUND-UP: WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THIS

Well, I'm gonna be real with you all: my opinion of Lando and his fandom was very low before talking to his fans and actually looking deep at his controversies. It seems I'm not the only one, as all the fans I talked about quoted at some point the whole toxicity of the fandom and let the steam out. While I do think people take it TOO far when it comes to him, and it's not just here, all social media involving Lando are cesspools in one way or another, I do feel like I can relate to people more. To many, Lando is a young driver that is relatable, a lot of you were in the 20s age gap (and there are younger folks of course) who just has the sort of sense of humour and concerns that we do. There is still a great identity aspect of him being a British McLaren drivers, which is so strong a pull considering this is one of the greatest teams there are and Brits have historically bred world champions, who knows, Lando could be the next one.

That being said, I still kinda don't vibe with him. Not my type. But I do hope that 2021 brings a Lando that stays in his lane for the sake of internet and because my guy could take a break. It seems he is going on the right direction and taking F1 seriously, but also I hope he doesn't try to rehabilitate his image (not that he needs to, but clearly he WANTS to rebrand) too much to the point of losing himself. Also, I did not touch on this week's drama because I even asked around and people weren't able to tell me properly what happened, so there isn't anything much. I hope he behaved well though, if he didn't then I guess it's time to update this post lol.

Anyway, I guess my point is that everyone is kinda crazy, but I do think that Lando fans are kinda cool now. I cannot repeat this enough, thank you to everyone who spared some time to talk to me and let me know the scoops. This was your girl formulinos in a redux version of the Hyperfixation Corner - stay tuned for the next one that is done, but I needed to take a proper breather from it, you'll get why soon, I hope! Screw you guys, I'm going home :)

21/03/2020 - NEW ENTRY - SEXISMGATE In the words of the great philosopher Jake Paul, "it's everyday bro". The latest entry in the Landogate compilation is a series of clips taken from streams done by Max Fewtrell (at this point laid ease, honestly, if you guys stan Max F. I recommend a doctor, ngl) featuring Lando. Just a few days ago, a very progressive conversation was had during a game session (or whatever you call it, I'm not a gamer girl) of Escape From Tarkov. The clips have been cropped around and shared by @carlandonorri-s (big shout out to you, braver than US marines etc), but I got them backed up on streamable :D. Summaries:

1) Lando says that if a girl talks to you about star signs, you should leave. They talk about a certain girl Max "never had" that could have sat down next to him one night and this elicits a strong reaction from the streamers. Lando adds "you might have been made to sit next to her one night and she might have coughed on you". A charmer.

2) Allusions to calling a girl "cowboy" and "this might not be the only snake in my boot". Max thinks it's not a dig, just funny. Lando has referred to the same person as "cowboy" and "cowgirl" in yesterday's stream on Max's page as well (rather curious how I haven't seen yet the same conversations in Lando's streams, only in Max's less famous ones lol).

I will disclaim I don't have it in me to watch full vidya streams because I don't get what's fun in them, so if there are any further clips out there, yeah they're out there <3. Kush @sebastonstroll (who also ripped the last clip I talked about! Thanks for that) whistleblew and did the post that gained more traction, there are a few commentary posts out there as well (in particular this one from @babettevdw is very neat) and overall, not a good look. I have no personal hot take from this, men are pigs and I think that's it. I was waiting for the apology tweets but to be quite honest due to the sheer volume of "but if this was a woman talking about a man you wouldn't care" and "what about that time this driver said women can't drive" I highly doubt Lando will say something as his new strategy is to lay low - and I don't give a shit about if Max F apologises or not as he will probably never do something relevant in F1 anyway let's be honest. I rate this a 1/5 incel face structure pic due to the fact that if Lando's dad didn't have any money he wouldn't even be in F1 and have the chance to travel around the globe and meet hot chicks. Chaldish.

16/08/2021 - NEW ENTRY - MEXICANGATE

We had managed to spend almost 5 whole months without a Landogate everyone, so of course that when a new one happened, it would be A Doozy.

Let's set the mood: you're rich, you're finally in a good moment in your career, you are moderately ok looking, you have freeloading friends and a instagram/tik tok girl on a yacht and it's the summer. You're at the top of the world, basically, and you and your lads still find the time to be just... whatever this is

On Instagram even. With videos too. A bit extra, I'd say.

There was already a pretty perfect post by @maxricciardo on the subject of cultural appropriation and why this sort of display is not humorous, just prejudicial, so I won't elongate myself much on it. I will, however, pull my "As A Latina" card and say that I'm not surprised that's in its majority, a bunch of European Lads on Tour doing this since they tick all the boxes of privileged to think it's funny to do it.

Obviously, I don't want to talk on the name of Mexicans in particular and I don't even think that it's pleasant to go and Ask Your Local Mexican if this is ok or not, but I can draw parallels with my culture and say that when there are cultural parties here and foreigners come, even people who come from the Western Euro/North American are, they are more than welcome to take part in our culture WITH us and wear whatever you want WITH OUR CONSENT under a respectful environment and context. What these guys are doing, however, is basically take a stereotype derived of years and years of humiliating oppression perpetrated by biased accounts and media and laugh it off on their little bubble. It always hurts to me when I see accounts of Brazil being talked about as nothing besides drug trafficking and sexual tourism, I don't need to extrapolate too much to think about how it feels for my fellow Latinos.

And that's another important things I want to get in, I've seen a lot of people claim this was racist, and here's a lil fun fact: we can't tell. We don't know. Our concept of race is incredibly different from the one adopted by Europeans and North Americans, who lump us all into one ethnicity ("latino") and try to tell us we're POC even though, depending on the place you're at, you couldn't tell the difference between here and Germany. This is not cool by the way, because unlike the myth that says that Latin America is a big haven for the plurality of cultures (and it is, the sheer fact we have had different colonisers, influences from a lot of countries, the indigenous presence, unfortunately the influx of African cultures too because of slavery, people who ran away from wars in their countries, etc etc), we all suffered because of "Whitening", that is, the racist insistence of making sure that people had mixed children with white people to improve our bloodline. The result is that our race is very much something we identify socially with and a lot of people who read as POC outside of Latin America aren't considered POC here. That's not to say it wasn't wrong just because "it wasn't funny". It's xenophobic, it's prejudice, it's everything else and a bit more.

To make matters worse, I unfortunately have to talk about the reactions of the fanbase because during this write-up, I usually checked the reactions of the Landosphere and talked to Lando fans, but this time I didn't need to because a lot of them showed their asses on social media, for free. People claimed that Lando is persecuted, that it was just funny and that it made sense to wear those costumes on a Mexican-themed party, saying that if you can't do this you can't wear Lederhosen in German parties either, and that's the point innit? Germans, Dutch, French, whatever.... they WERE the colonisers. At the very least the colonies in Europe were far more comfortable and less ravaged than the Africans, the Latin Americans, and when you look around, you see the influence in Asia too and it's not a good look (again I can't speak for everyone so if any of you want to drop a comment on how you resent Imperialism etc. feel free to). You're not mocked, at the very least you get laughed a bit but you're not REDUCED to just this as part of your identity. Sorry for the lack of eloquence, it just hit a little too close to home.

So, honestly, I'm done here with the Landogates because I don't want to have to see whatever he did next - and I never needed to, I started these because they were amusing and it felt like the noise they made were not proportional to the actions of the driver, but nowadays it feels like he's having the opposite of character growth, enabled by the fans who believe he can't do any wrong or that he is just a kid. The discussion about problematic faves is a whoooole other topic, but at the very least if you're not ready to unstan, just shut up, take the L and let people rip him off for a day. Stay on your lane when you know there is no defense.

To those of you who were very nice while talking to me, thanks a lot! To those of you who stopped stanning him at some point, don't worry, there is always another driver. And to those of you who think I'm wrong etc, I suppose you're entitled to, but I also do suggest that you evaluate if it's worth it you know.

I rate this a 0/5 and I am tapping out.

#hyperfixation corner #lando norris #to be honest this isn't even banter i was really curious after seeing yet another landogate on the tag i just had to know what is up #my conclusions are these #i hope the other lando stans don't take this personally i tried to be fair while also being partial because well you know

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philip-ks-dick · 3 years

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Philip K. Dick, For Dummies.

I’ve been researching PK.D for a few years now, as he’s my father’s favourite author and I’ve been watching movie and show adaptations of his work for the longest time. I have personally only read the books listed, here’s the order (I think) you should read them in, based on difficulty level and the knowledge you need of the PKD canon to understand the books that follow. This is purely my opinion based on knowledge of the author. by philip-k’s-dick (lol)

Beginner. (These books and stories allow readers to explore Dick’s pet themes and stylistic quirks without falling too far down the rabbit hole)

The Short Stories: Over the course of his life, PKD wrote somewhere in the range of 150 short stories. Naturally, it would be silly of me to dump all of them on you at once, but undeniably, the shorter format allows the big ideas of Dick’s work to come through more clearly, and even the screwier stories conform to relatively coherent shape, making them an excellent jumping off point, especially for an author who wrote almost nonstop throughout his life.

My Favourites:

In The Days of Perky Pat - In this novel, survivors of a global thermonuclear war live in isolated enclaves in California, surviving off what they can scrounge from the wastes and supplies delivered from Mars. The older generation spend their leisure time playing with the eponymous doll in an escapist role-playing game that recalls life before the apocalypse — a way of life that is being quickly forgotten. At the story's climax, a couple from one isolated outpost of humanity plays a game against the dwellers of another outpost (who play the game with a doll similar to Perky Pat dubbed "Connie Companion") in deadly earnest. The survivors' shared enthusiasm for the Perky Pat doll and the creation of her accessories from vital supplies is a sort of mass delusion that prevents meaningful re-building of the shattered society. In stark contrast, the children of the survivors show absolutely no interest in the delusion and have begun adapting to their new life.

(Elements of the story were later incorporated into Dick's novel The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, written in 1964 and published in 1965, in which a Perky Pat simulation game is induced by drugs and miniature models instead. Palmer Eldritch is not a continuation or sequel however.)

What the Dead Men Say - Death is followed by a period of 'half-life', a short amount of time which can be rationed out over long periods in which the dead can be revived—so that, potentially, they can 'live' on for a long time. When attempts to bring back important businessman Louis Sarapis fail, it's clearly more than mere negligence. Sure enough, Sarapis starts speaking from beyond the grave. From outer space, in fact. Yet no-one seems terribly bothered, other than those directly concerned in the plot mechanics. Eventually entire communications networks (phones, TV, radio) are blocked by Sarapis' broadcasts

(Philip's later novel Ubik is a continuation of What the Dead Men Say)

Autofac - Three men wait outside their settlement for an automated delivery truck. Five years earlier, during the Total Global Conflict, a network of hardened automatic factories ("autofacs") had been set up with cybernetic controls that determine what food and consumer goods to manufacture and deliver. Human input had been lost, and the men planned disruption to try to establish communication and take over control. They destroy the delivery, but the truck radios the autofac and unloads an identical replacement, then prevents them from reloading items. They act out being disgusted with the milk delivery and are given a complaints checklist. In a blank space, they write improvised semantic garble—"the product is thoroughly pizzled". The autofac sends a humanoid data collector that communicates on an oral basis, but is not capable of conceptual thought, and they are unable to persuade the network to shut down before it consumes all resources. Their next strategy sets neighbouring autofacs in competition with each other for rare resources and seemingly succeeds, but there is a hidden level

Beyond Lies The Wub - Peterson, a crew member of a spaceship loading up with food animals on Mars, buys an enormous pig-like creature known as a "wub" from a native just before departure. Franco, his captain, is worried about the extra weight but seems more concerned about its taste, as his ship is short of food. However, after takeoff, the crew realizes that the wub is a very intelligent creature, capable of telepathy and maybe even mind control.

Peterson and the wub spend time discussing mythological figures and the travels of Odysseus. Captain Franco, paranoid after an earlier confrontation with the Wub which left him temporarily paralyzed, bursts in and insists on killing and eating the wub. The crew becomes very much opposed to killing the sensitive creature after it makes a plea for understanding, but Franco still makes a meal out of him. At the dinner table, Captain Franco apologises for the "interruption" and resumes the earlier conversation between Peterson and the Wub - which now has apparently taken over the Captain's body

Human Is - Jill Herrick and her husband Lester are in the middle of an argument. Lester deflects his wife’s claim that he is “hideous” with cold indifference. He tells her that he will not allow their child in the house and will have him removed to government custody because he is interfering with his research. Before the distraught Jill can pass this onto their son Gus, Lester gets news that he will be taking a trip to Rexor IV. Despite Jill’s desire to go there and see the planet, Lester insists that he will go alone.

Later Jill tells her brother Frank and she is going to leave Lester. She explains how happy she has been with Lester gone and how he seems to be getting worse every year of their marriage. More cold and more “ruthless,” not to mention the incessant working.

Lester comes home a very different man. He praises Jill’s cooking and expresses disgust with his work on Rexor IV studying toxins. He says he prefers Terra and being home with his wife.

Jill reports these changes to Frank, while Lester is playing in the room with Gus. Frank has Lester brought to a lab for more studies under the guidance of the Federal Clearance agency. Before long they realize that Lester has had his body taken over by a Rexorian.

The Hanging Stranger - The protagonist, Ed Loyce, is a store owner who is disturbed when he sees a stranger hanging from a lamppost, but finds that other people consider the apparent lynching unremarkable.

He finds evidence that alien insects have taken over, manages to get out of town, talks to the police commissioner, who believes him, and after getting all the information about what Ed knows, explains that the body was hung to see if anyone reacted to it, anyone they didn't have control over. He then takes Ed outside and hangs him from a lamppost.

The Commuter - Ed Jacobson is a railway worker at Woking station. His life takes a turn for the worse when his son, Sam, begins experiencing psychotic episodes. When he is selling rail tickets at work, a young woman named Linda asks for a ticket to a destination called Macon Heights that is not listed on any map.

The Minority Report - In a future society, three mutants foresee all crime before it occurs. Plugged into a great machine, these "precogs" allow a division of the police called Precrime to arrest suspects before they can commit any actual crimes. When the head of Precrime, John Anderton, is himself predicted to murder a man whom he has never met, Anderton is convinced a great conspiracy is afoot

Full Books:

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Rick Deckard, a bounty hunter for the San Francisco Police Department, is assigned to "retire" (kill) six androids of the new and highly intelligent Nexus-6 model which have recently escaped from Mars and traveled to Earth. These androids are made of organic matter so similar to a human's that only a posthumous "bone marrow analysis" can independently prove the difference, making them almost impossible to distinguish from real people. Deckard hopes this mission will earn him enough bounty money to buy a live animal to replace his lone electric sheep to comfort his depressed wife Iran. Deckard visits the Rosen Association's headquarters in Seattle to confirm the accuracy of the latest empathy test meant to identify incognito androids. Deckard suspects the test may not be capable of distinguishing the latest Nexus-6 models from genuine human beings, and it appears to give a false positive on his host in Seattle, Rachael Rosen, meaning the police have potentially been executing human beings. The Rosen Association attempts to blackmail Deckard to get him to drop the case, but Deckard retests Rachael and determines that Rachael is, indeed, an android, which she ultimately admits.

Clans of the Alphane Moon - War between Earth and insectoid-dominated Alpha III ended over a decade ago. (According to the novel, "Alphane" refers to the nearest star to our own system, Alpha Centauri). Some years after the end of hostilities, Earth intends to secure its now independent colony in the Alphane system, Alpha III M2. As a former satellite-based global psychiatric institution for colonists on other Alphane system worlds unable to cope with the stresses of colonisation, the inhabitants of Alpha III M2 have lived peacefully for years. But, under the pretence of a medical mission, Earth intends to take their colony back.

Against this background, Chuck Rittersdorf and his wife Mary are separating. Although they think they are going their separate ways, they soon find themselves together again on Alpha III M2. Mary travels there through government work, Chuck sees it as a chance to kill Mary using his remote control simulacrum. Along the way he is guided by his Ganymedean slime mould neighbour Lord Running Clam and Mary finds herself manipulated by the Alphane sympathiser, comedian Bunny Hentman.

The Man in the High Castle - In 1962, 15 years after Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany have won World War II, Robert "Bob" Childan owns an Americana antique shop in San Francisco, California (located in the Japanese-occupied Pacific States of America), which is most commonly frequented by the Japanese, who make a fetish of romanticized American cultural artifacts. Childan is contacted by Nobusuke Tagomi, a high-ranking Japanese trade official, who is seeking a gift to impress a visiting Swedish industrialist named Baynes. Childan's store is stocked in part with counterfeit antiques from the Wyndam-Matson Corporation, a metalworking company. Frank Frink (formerly Fink), a secretly Jewish-American veteran of World War II, has just been fired from the Wyndam-Matson factory, when he agrees to join a former co-worker to begin a handcrafted jewellery business. Meanwhile, Frink's ex-wife, Juliana, works as a judo instructor in Canon City, Colorado (in the neutral buffer zone of Mountain States), where she begins a sexual relationship with an Italian truck driver and ex-soldier, Joe Cinnadella. Throughout the book, many of these characters frequently make important decisions using prophetic messages they interpret from the I Ching, a Chinese cultural import. Many characters are also reading a widely banned yet extremely popular new novel, The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, which depicts an alternate history in which the Allies won World War II in 1945, a concept that amazes and intrigues its readers.

Frink reveals that the Wyndam-Matson Corporation has been supplying Childan with counterfeit antiques, which works to blackmail Wyndam-Matson for money to finance Frink's new jewelry venture. Tagomi and Baynes meet, but Baynes repeatedly delays any real business as they await an expected third party from Japan. Suddenly, the public receives news of the death of the Chancellor of Germany, Martin Bormann, after a short illness. Childan tentatively, on consignment, takes some of Frink's "authentic" new metalwork and attempts to curry favour with a Japanese client, who surprisingly considers Frink's jewelry immensely spiritually alive. Juliana and Joe take a road trip to Denver, Colorado and Joe impulsively decides they should go on a side-trip to meet the mysterious Hawthorne Abendsen, author of The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, who supposedly lives in a guarded fortress-like estate called the "High Castle" in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Soon, Joseph Goebbels is announced as the new German Chancellor.

Intermediate. (These are the books to pick up once you have the basics of what makes a PKD novel down. They’re obtuse enough to hit a little heavier, but don’t provide the full dose of surrealism Dick was capable of serving up. This is also good spot to jump in if you’ve experienced weird fiction before.)

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - The novel is set in a dystopian version of 1988, following a Second Civil War which led to the collapse of the United States' democratic institutions. The National Guard ("nats") and US police force ("pols") reestablished social order through instituting a dictatorship, with a "Director" at the apex, and police marshals and generals as operational commanders in the field. Resistance to the regime is largely confined to university campuses, where radicalized former university students eke out a desperate existence in subterranean kibbutzim. Recreational drug use is widespread, and the age of consent has been lowered to twelve. The black population has almost been rendered extinct. Most commuting is undertaken by personal aircraft, allowing great distances to be covered in little time.

The novel begins with the protagonist, Jason Taverner, a singer, hosting his weekly TV show which has an audience of 30 million viewers. His special guest is his girlfriend Heather Hart, also a singer. Both Hart and Taverner are "Sixes", members of an elite class of genetically engineered humans. While leaving the studio, Taverner is telephoned by a former lover, who asks him to pay her a visit. When Taverner arrives at her apartment, the former lover attacks him by throwing a parasitic life-form at him. Although he manages to remove most of the life-form, parts of it are left inside him. After being rescued by Hart, he is taken to a medical facility.

Waking up the following day in a seedy hotel with no identification, Taverner becomes worried, as failure to produce identification at one of the numerous police checkpoints would lead to imprisonment in a forced labor camp. Through a succession of phone calls made from the hotel to colleagues and friends who now claim not to know him, Taverner establishes that he is no longer recognized by the outside world. He soon manages to bribe the hotel's clerk into taking him to Kathy Nelson, a forger of government documents. However, Kathy reveals that both she and the clerk are police informants, and that the lobby clerk has placed a microscopic tracking device on him. She promises not to turn Taverner over to the police on the condition that he spend the night with her. Although he attempts to escape, Kathy confronts him again after he has successfully passed a police checkpoint using the forged identity cards. Feeling in her debt, he accompanies Kathy to her apartment block, where Inspector McNulty, Kathy's police handler, is waiting. McNulty has located Taverner via the tracking device the hotel lobby clerk placed on him, and instructs Taverner to come with him to the 469th Precinct police station so that further biometric identity checks can be performed.

Time out of Joint - Ragle Gumm lives in the year 1959 in a quiet American suburb. His unusual profession consists of repeatedly winning the cash prize in a local newspaper contest called "Where Will The Little Green Man Be Next?". Gumm's 1959 has some differences from ours: the Tucker car is in production, AM/FM radios are scarce to non-existent, and Marilyn Monroe is a complete unknown. As the novel opens, strange things begin to happen to Gumm. A soft-drink stand disappears, replaced by a small slip of paper with the words "SOFT-DRINK STAND" printed on it in block letters. Intriguing little pieces of the real 1959 turn up: a magazine article on Marilyn Monroe, a telephone book with non-operational exchanges listed and radios hidden away in someone else's house. People with no apparent connection to Gumm, including military pilots using aircraft transceivers, refer to him by name. Few other characters notice these or experience similar anomalies; the sole exception is Gumm's supposed brother-in-law, Victor "Vic" Nielson, in whom he confides. A neighborhood woman, Mrs. Keitelbein, invites him to a civil defense class where he sees a model of a futuristic underground military factory. He has the unshakeable feeling he's been inside that building many times before.

Confusion gradually mounts for Gumm. His neighbor Bill Black knows far more about these events than he admits, and, observing this, begins worrying: "Suppose Ragle [Gumm] is becoming sane again?" In fact, Gumm does become sane, and the deception surrounding him (erected to protect and exploit him) begins to unravel

Ubik - By the year 1992, humanity has colonized the Moon and psychic powers are common. The protagonist, Joe Chip, is a debt-ridden technician working for Runciter Associates, a "prudence organization" employing "inertials"—people with the ability to negate the powers of telepaths and "precogs"—to enforce the privacy of clients. The company is run by Glen Runciter, assisted by his deceased wife Ella who is kept in a state of "half-life", a form of cryonic suspension that allows the deceased limited consciousness and ability to communicate. While consulting with Ella, Runciter discovers that her consciousness is being invaded by another half-lifer named Jory Miller

Difficult. (This section comes with a caveat: within these novels you will encounter numerous hallucinations, drug trips, an entire trilogy about gnostic spirituality and mental illness, and more than a little unabashed nightmare fuel. It’s normal to get tangled up in what goes on in these books. It’s also normal to be weirded out. But with proper grounding, you’ll make it though with your faculties intact. Probably.)

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - The story begins in a future world where global temperatures have risen so high that in most of the world it is unsafe to be outside without special cooling gear during daylight hours. In a desperate bid to preserve humanity and ease population burdens on Earth, the UN has initiated a "draft" for colonizing the nearby planets, where conditions are so horrific and primitive that the unwilling colonists have fallen prey to a form of escapism involving the use of an illegal drug (Can-D) in concert with "layouts." Layouts are physical props intended to simulate a sort of alternative reality where life is easier than either the grim existence of the colonists in their marginal off-world colonies, or even Earth, where global warming has progressed to the point that Antarctica is prime vacation resort territory. The illegal drug Can-D allows people to "share" their experience of the "Perky Pat" (the name of the main female character in the simulated world) layouts. This "sharing" has caused a pseudo-religious cult or series of cults to grow up around the layouts and the use of the drug.

Up to the point where the novel begins, New York City-based Perky Pat (or P.P.) Layouts, Inc., has held a monopoly on this product, as well as on the illegal trade in the drug Can-D which makes the shared hallucinations possible.

The novel opens shortly after Barney Mayerson, P.P. Layouts' top precog, has received a "draft notice" from the UN for involuntary resettlement as a colonist on Mars. Mayerson is sleeping with his assistant, Roni Fugate, but remains conflicted about the divorce, which he himself initiated, from his first wife Emily, a ceramic pot artist. Meanwhile, Emily's second husband tries to sell her pot designs to P.P. Layouts as possible accessories for the Perky Pat virtual worlds—but Barney, recognizing them as Emily's, rejects them out of spite.

A Scanner Darkly - When performing his work as an undercover agent, Arctor goes by the name "Fred" and wears a "scramble suit" that conceals his identity from other officers. Then he is able to sit in a police facility and observe his housemates through "holo-scanners", audio-visual surveillance devices that are placed throughout the house. Arctor's use of the drug causes the two hemispheres of his brain to function independently or "compete". When Arctor sees himself in the videos saved by the scanners, he does not realize that it is him. Through a series of drug and psychological tests, Arctor's superiors at work discover that his addiction has made him incapable of performing his job as a narcotics agent. They do not know his identity because he wears the scramble suit, but when his police supervisor suggests to him that he might be Bob Arctor, he is confused and thinks it cannot be possible.

Donna takes Arctor to "New-Path", a rehabilitation clinic, just as Arctor begins to experience the symptoms of Substance D withdrawal. It is revealed that Donna has been a narcotics agent all along, working as part of a police operation to infiltrate New-Path and determine its funding source. Without his knowledge, Arctor has been selected to penetrate the organization. As part of the rehab program, Arctor is renamed "Bruce" and forced to participate in cruel group-dynamic games, intended to break the will of the patients

(If this one seems difficult to wrap your mind around, that's because its a fictionalized account of real events, and you may need to read about Philip's life at the time to understand the autobiographical nature of the book.)

The VALIS Trilogy

(Fictionalized account of religious experiences in PKD’s life.)

VALIS - In March, 1974, Horselover Fat (the alter-personality of Philip K. Dick) experiences visions of a pink beam of light that he calls Zebra and interprets as a theophany exposing hidden facts about the reality of our universe, and a group of others join him in researching these matters. One of their theories is that there is some kind of alien space probe in orbit around Earth, and that it is aiding them in their quest; it also aided the United States in disclosing the Watergate scandal and the resignation of Richard Nixon in August, 1974. Kevin turns his friends onto a film called Valis that contains obvious references to revelations identical to those that Horselover Fat has experienced, including what appears to be time dysfunction. The film is itself a fictional account of an alternative-universe version of Nixon ("Ferris F. Fremount") and his fall, engineered by a satellite called valis. (The plot of the fictitious film Valis was that of Dick's then-unpublished novel Radio Free Albemuth.) In seeking the film's makers, Kevin, Phil, Fat, and David—now calling themselves the Rhipidon Society—head to an estate owned by popular musician Eric Lampton and his wife Linda. They decide the goal that they have been led toward is Sophia Lampton, who is two-years old and the Messiah or incarnation of Holy Wisdom (Pistis Sophia) anticipated by some variants of Gnostic Christianity. In addition to healing Phil's schizophrenic personality split, she tells them that their conclusions about valis (which Fat had previously termed "Zebra") and reality are correct, and more importantly, that we should worship, not gods, but humanity. She dies two days later due to a laser accident caused by Brent Mini. Undeterred, Fat (who has now resurged) goes on a global search for the next incarnation of Sophia.

Dick also offers a rationalist explanation of his apparent theophany, acknowledging that it might have been visual and auditory hallucinations from either schizophrenia or drug addiction sequelae.

Characters:

Phil (Philip K. Dick): Narrator (first person), science fiction writer, author of Man in the High Castle, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, and Three Stigmata.

Horselover Fat: Narrator (third person), a schizophrenic modality of Phil himself. (Philip in Greek means "fond of horses"; dick is German for "fat".)

Gloria Knudson: Suicidal friend of Fat's who Fat is unable to save.

Kevin: Cynical friend of Fat's whose cat died running across the street, based on K. W. Jeter.

Sherri Solvig: Church-going friend of Fat's, eventually dies from lymphatic cancer.

David: Catholic friend of Fat's, based on Tim Powers.

Eric Lampton: Rock star, screenwriter, actor, a. k. a. "Mother Goose"; a fictionalised version of David Bowie.

Linda Lampton: Actress, wife of Eric Lampton.

Brent Mini: Electronic composer, a fictionalised version of Brian Eno.

Sophia Lampton: Two-year-old child (personalised incarnation of Holy Wisdom within some variants of Gnosticism), said to be the daughter of Linda Lampton and valis and the "Fifth Savior".

The Divine Invasion - After a fatal car accident on Earth, Herb Asher is placed into cryonic suspension as he waits for a spleen replacement. Clinically dead, Herb experiences lucid dreams while in suspended animation and relives the last six years of his life.

In the past, Herb lived as a recluse in an isolated dome on a remote planet in the binary star system, CY30-CY30B. Yah, a local divinity of the planet in exile from Earth, appears to Herb in a vision as a burning flame, and forces him to contact his sick female neighbor, Rybys Rommey, who happens to be terminally ill with multiple sclerosis and pregnant with Yah's child.

With the help of the immortal soul of Elijah, who takes the form of a wild beggar named Elias Tate, Herb agrees to become Rybys's legal husband and father of the unborn "savior". Together they plan to smuggle the six-month pregnant Rybys back to Earth, under the pretext of seeking help for Rybys' medical condition at a medical research facility. After being born in human form, Yah plans to confront the fallen angel Belial, who has ruled the Earth for 2000 years since the fall of Masada in the first century CE. Yah's powers, however, are limited by Belial's dominion on Earth, and the four of them must take extra precautions to avoid being detected by the forces of darkness.

Things do not go as planned. "Big Noodle", Earth's A.I. system, warns the ecclesiastical authorities in the Christian-Islamic church and Scientific Legate about the divine "invasion" and countermeasures are prepared. A number of failed attempts are made to destroy the unborn child, all of them thwarted by Elijah and Yah. After successfully making the interstellar journey back to Earth and narrowly avoiding a forced abortion, Rybys and Herb escape in the nick of time, only to be involved in a fatal taxi crash, probably due to the machinations of Belial. Rybys dies from her injuries sustained in the crash, and her unborn son Emmanuel (Yah in human form) suffers brain damage from the trauma but survives. Herb is critically injured and put into cryonic suspension until a spleen replacement can be found. Baby Emmanuel is placed into a synthetic womb, but Elias Tate manages to sneak Emmanuel out of the hospital before the church is able to kill him.

Six years pass. In a school for special children, Emmanuel meets Zina, a girl who also seems to have similar skills and talents, but acts as a surrogate teacher to Emmanuel. For four years, Zina helps Emmanuel regain his memory (the brain damage caused amnesia) and discover his true identity as Yah, creator of the universe.

When he's ready, Zina shows Emmanuel her own parallel universe. In this peaceful world, organized religion has little influence, Rybys Rommey is still alive and married to Herb Asher, and Belial is only a goat kid living in a petting zoo.

In an act of kindness, Zina and Emmanuel liberate the goat-creature from his cage, momentarily forgetting that the animal is Belial. The goat-creature finds Herb Asher and attempts to retain control of the world by possessing him and convincing him that Yahweh's creation is an ugly thing that should be shown for what it really is. Eventually Herb is saved by Linda Fox, a young singer whom he loves and who is his own personal Savior; she and the goat-creature meet and she kills it, defeating Belial. He finally discovers that this meeting happens over again for everyone in the world, and whether they choose Belial or their Savior decides if they find salvation.

Characters:

Herb Asher: audio engineer

Rybys Rommey: mother of Emmanuel, sick with MS

Yah: Yahweh

Elias Tate: Incarnation of Elijah

Emmanuel (Manny): Yah incarnated in human form

Zina Pallas: Shekhinah

Linda Fox: singer, songwriter, Yetzer Hatov

Belial: Yetzer Hara

Fulton Statler Harms: Chief prelate of the Christian-Islamic Church (C.I.C), Cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church

Nicholas Bulkowsky: Communist Party Chairman, Procurator maximus of the Scientific Legate

VALIS: agent of Yahweh, disinhibiting stimulus

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer - Set in the late 1960s and 1970s, the story describes the efforts of Episcopal Bishop Timothy Archer, who must cope with the theological and philosophical implications of the newly discovered Gnostic Zadokite scroll fragments. The character of Bishop Archer is loosely based on the controversial, iconoclastic Episcopal Bishop James Pike, who in 1969 died of exposure while exploring the Judean Desert near the Dead Sea in the West Bank.

As the novel opens, it is 1980. On the day that John Lennon is shot and killed, Angel Archer visits the houseboat of Edgar Barefoot, (a guru based on Alan Watts), and reflects on the lives of her deceased relatives. During the sixties, she was married to Jeff Archer, son of the Episcopal Bishop of California Timothy Archer. She introduced Kirsten Lundborg, a friend, to her father-in law, and the two began an affair. Kirsten has a son, Bill, from a previous relationship, who has schizophrenia, although he is knowledgeable as an automobile mechanic. Tim is already being investigated for his allegedly heretical views about the Holy Ghost.

Jeff commits suicide due to his romantic obsession with Kirsten. However, after poltergeist activity, he manifests to Tim and Kirsten at a seance, also attended by Angel. Angel is skeptical about the efficacy of astrology, and believes that the unfolding existential situation of Tim and Kirsten is akin to Friedrich Schiller's German Romanticism era masterpiece, the Wallenstein trilogy (insofar as their credulity reflects the loss of rational belief in contemporary consensual reality).

The three are told that Kirsten and Tim will die. As predicted, Kirsten loses her remission from cancer, and also commits suicide after a barbiturate overdose. Tim travels to Israel to investigate whether or not a psychotropic mushroom was associated with the resurrection, but his car stalls, he becomes disoriented, falls from a cliff, and dies in the desert.

On the houseboat, Angel is reunited with Bill, Kirsten's son who has schizophrenia. He claims to have Tim's reincarnated spirit within him, but is soon institutionalized. Angel agrees to care for Bill, in return for a rare record (Koto Music by Kimio Eto) that Edgar offers her.

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer is one of Dick's most overtly philosophical and intellectual works. While Dick's novels usually employ multiple narrators or an omniscient perspective, this story is told in the first person by a single narrator: Angel Archer, Bishop Archer's daughter-in-law.

Characters:

Angel Archer: Narrator, manager of a Berkeley record store, widow of Jeff Archer.

Timothy Archer: Bishop of California; father of the late Jeff Archer and father-in-law of Angel. Dies in Israel, searching for psychotropic mushroom connected with Zadokite sect. Based on James Albert Pike, Dick's personal friend, who was an American Episcopalian bishop.

Kirsten Lundborg: Timothy Archer's secretary and lover. Dies from barbiturate overdose after loss of remission from cancer.

Bill Lundborg: Kirsten's son who has schizophrenia, and who is obsessed with cars.

Edgar Barefoot: Houseboat guru, radio personality, lecturer. Based on Alan Watts.

Jeff Archer: Son of Timothy Archer, and deceased husband of Angel. A professional student who was romantically obsessed with Kirsten.

Thank you, if you read all of this. it took me six hours today to write this all

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duhragonball · 4 years

Text

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (126/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[20 July, 233 Before Age. Nagaoka.]

"Okay, so Treekul's in a bad spot. She should have been more careful about who she got mixed up with. Yeah, and she shouldn't have been so eager to run off on another quest. But that's what makes Treekul cool, you know? Other alchemical historians? They just sit in libraries all day, poring over dusty holo-fiches. But Treekul goes out and finds things. And for once, she had backup. Two Saiyans, Lesseri and Endive, and then we picked up a third, Guwar. With their support, I could discover all sorts of artifacts."

Treekul stopped, shook her head, and gestured to slow down. "I mean she could discover," she said. "Sorry. My therapist always told me this works better if I refer to myself in the third person. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but I-- but Treekul's under a little more stress than usual. Like I said, it was handy to have three Saiyans backing her up, even if they only wanted her to find things for them, at least she knew no one would mess with her. And she scored some decent leads along the way. There's a treasure trove of artifacts in that penthouse on Quadzityz, assuming it survived the war. Lesseri and Endive killed the owner and wrecked the security systems, and most of that stuff isn't even valuable to anyone else. Nothing to stop Treekul from walking in and helping herself. Another paper for the academic journals. If she ever makes it out of this mess, that is."

She began to pace back and forth around her modest living quarters. The strips of red fabric that made up her "robes" trailed behind her legs as she walked.

"The Saiyans were looking for a cult," she continued. "And Treekul heard it was named after 'jindan', an alchemical term for mercuric sulfide. Or, rather, the fundamental principle that mercuric sulfide represents. So she saw an opportunity and agreed to help them find this cult, using her expertise with a geomantic compass. Guwar was a mathematician, if you can believe that, so he helped out with the calculations. He was a really nice guy. Bit of an inferiority complex, but I get the feeling that goes for every Saiyan."

She stopped herself again. "Not 'was', 'is'. Guwar is a nice guy," she said. "Just because no one's told me what happened to him doesn't necessarily mean he got killed in the war. It's just... Treekul could really use his help right now. Or even if he can't help, it'd be nice if he were here to listen to her, like he did back on the ship, before they found the Jindan cult.

"Turns out the cult was real all along, and they leave just enough bread crumbs out there so that other Saiyans can find them. Their leader is the Saiyan King, Rehval III, but here, he calls himself 'Trismegistus', a reference to the Thrice Blessed alchemist from ancient writings. Rehval seems to think he's uncovered some great secret, something that makes him the greatest alchemist ever, and from what I've seen, he might be right about that. His Jindan potion makes Saiyans even stronger, and he must have thousands of them working for him. Only trouble is that they have to give up their free will. Rehval tells them what to eat, when to sleep, they all have sex in some 'breeding pit' thing that I don't even want to think about..."

She paused to rub the bridge of her nose, then ran her hand over the short green hair on her lavender scalp. It was normally a satisfying feeling for her, but not this time, her hair was too long for that by now.

"The others all did whatever Rehval told them to. All they cared about was power. They brought Treekul here, and no one was interested in how she got home. No payday, no paper, no treasure trove of artifacts. Instead, Rehval decided to keep her as some sort of alien pet. He thinks he can train her to be an alchemist, and so far he hasn't done too bad a job of it, at least when he's not creeping on her. It makes me... It makes her want to scream. But that's okay. It's okay for her to be frightened. She's never been this afraid, and she's got good reason to be."

She stopped pacing and looked intently in the direction of her bed. "So here's the good news. Treekul has options. Sure, she's not any closer to getting off this planet than when she first arrived, but she hasn't been wasting time either. Treekul didn't get this far without being resourceful. She can be absolutely terrified and still get herself out of this. That's what makes her strong."

She went to a small writing desk along the wall of her room and picked up a scroll. It carried a faint odor of rotten eggs and olefins. "Rehval's convinced that she'll become his apprentice, I guess ruling over the Saiyans like a god isn't enough for him, he wants to pass down his knowledge of alchemy. Well, fine. If he's as talented as he says he is, maybe he'll show Treekul a little more than he should. Something she can use to get out of here. For instance, this scroll belonging to Mirdane talks about disguising yourself perfectly, even down to smell and ki signature. If Treekul can get good enough at alchemy to figure that out, she could walk right up to the shipyard and be halfway to the next star system before anyone knew she was missing.

"I know what you're thinking: Treekul's a quick study, but she's an archaeologist who studies alchemists, not an alchemist herself, so maybe that plan is little too ambitious. Fair point. Which is why she's been working other angles. The boss wants her to play one of his priestesses, right? He's dressed her up in a cocktail dress that went through a blender. Well, that gives her access to all his brainwashed goons, and all that undeserved authority that comes with it. She hasn't heard from the acolytes who offered to show me around the hangar, but they seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Don't worry, when they finally take her on the tour, Treekul won't spend too much time there, just enough to get a feel for the place when it's time for her to snoop around by herself.

"And if that doesn't pan out there's always Endive. Too bad about her. For a while there, I was sure she'd turn on the boss. From what I hear, Rehval does something to the cultist's memories, so they don't recognize him as the king, even of they knew him before when he ruled Planet Saiya. At some point Endive must have found out that "Trismegistus" is the same guy who killed her father, but she doesn't seem to care. He's been using her for one of his casual sex hookups for weeks now. I thought..."

She stopped and took a seat in her chair, then looked down at the red flats on her feet. "I just thought-- Treekul thought Endive was smarter than that. She was so disciplined and focused. You'd think she wouldn't be so easily manipulated, but... she's become completely devoted to him, and the scariest thing is that you can tell she knows it's wrong. But enough about her. If Endive and Lesseri won't help Treekul, then Treekul needs to forget about them."

She stood up and started pacing again. "Speaking of sex... Treekul doesn't want to go down that road, but she has to keep it in mind. Rehval has his followers convinced that he needs a rotation of women to share his bed. Something about 'balancing his bodily humors', but I think we all know he just wants to have a good time. He wants Treekul for some reason. All those women at his beck and call, and he wants the one woman on the planet who isn't interested. It's like he's waiting for her to fall madly in love with him. Yeah, good luck with that. Still... if she's going to earn his trust, she need to play along with his expectations. Maybe she ought to flirt a little, so he'll think his plan is working. He's not exactly unattractive, it's the whole 'delusions of grandeur' thing that's a turn-off."

Treekul stopped and crossed her arms as she looked at the bed. "Here's the problem. If she's not careful, he'll probably get bored with her and have her brainwashed like everyone else on this planet. Or he'll just kill her for being an alien. On the other hand, if she's too careful, and Treekul waste too much time playing the eager disciple, the he won't need to brainwash her, because she'll basically be doing it for him. Ugh! What a fix."

"Um, were you finished?"

"Huh?"

The Saiyan man lying on her bed had sat up and pointed to his ears, which were stuffed with wax. "I'm on duty in ten minutes," he said. "Unless you need me to stay here..."

Treekul gestured at her own ears for him to remove the wax, and so he did.

"Yeah, all finished," she said. "You were amazing, Zhoybok."

"It's an honor, madam priestess," he said as he rose from the bed, "but I really don't understand your species' mating practices. You didn't even touch me the whole time."

"Oh, you don't remember any of it, then?" Treekul asked in mock concern. "I guess the psychic vibrations must have been beyond your comprehension. That happens with aliens who lack the secret eighth sense my people have. You probably just hallucinated me pacing around and talking to myself."

Zhoybok was astonished. "As a matter of fact, I did!"

"To tell you the truth, a lot of my kind frown on this sort of thing. They think it's perverse to have this level of intimacy with life forms who can't experience it properly. But for me, I think that's part of the thrill. It's so... savage, don't you think?"

Zhoybok wasn't sure what to say, but he wasn't interested in disputing the words of a priestess, so he accepted her compliments and excused himself. Once he was gone, Treekul shook her head and lay down on the bed. Lying was tiring work, even to someone as gullible as Zhoybok.

"I really need to get more comfortable about talking to myself," she said.

*******

[20 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

There were only four people aboard Luffa's star-yacht, which now criss-crossed the worlds of the Federation in a frantic effort to keep pace with the Jindan Cult's attacks. The Federation defenses were spread thin, and if any invading ship managed to land on a planet, there were few who could stand up to the alchemically-empowered Saiyans inside. Luffa was getting better at fighting them, but their numbers were beginning to take a toll on her body. Dr. Topsas, her personal physician, had found ways to heal her in time for the next battle, while the clairvoyant Dotz had proven handy at predicting attacks before they happened, so Luffa could plan her travel. The fourth passenger on board, Zatte, was Luffa's wife, and she was beginning to wonder if she served any useful purpose here at all.

"That's ridiculous," Wampaaan'riix said when she shared her frustrations with him over the subspace radio. The Yetitan looked as enormous as ever, despite the desktop monitor scaling down his nine-foot-tall frame. "You practically operate the entire ship by yourself."

"So did Keda," Zatte said. She was rubbing the muscles in her arms and legs while she spoke to him. "And she did it better than I ever could."

"And you find no honor in succeeding a fallen comrade?" Wampaan'riix asked.

"It's not enough," Zatte said. "Keda didn't recognize Luffa as a xan-nil'Dor. For her, Luffa was a friend, and sort of a business partner, I guess you could say. For me, she's my wife, and an instrument of Providence. I have to do better. Especially now."

It was almost impossible to read his expressions through the coat of long white hair that covered most of his face, but the way Wampaaan'riix narrowed his eyes was unmistakable. "You're not thinking of going with her into the field?" he asked warily.

"I already have," Zatte said. "At first it seemed to be just what I wanted. I'd set up somewhere safe and shoot down cultists to keep them off Luffa's back. Trouble is, she took it as a challenge. Lately, she's been making it her business to take out the enemy before I can get a shot off. And that's romantic and all, but--"

"You two are insane," Wampaaan'riix grumbled.

"Look, I have to be there for her," Zatte said. She had moved on to stretching her hamstrings. "She's fighting a war against her own kind. Even the Saiyans on our side don't fully trust her. She doesn't let it show, but I know how much it eats at her. I can't imagine what it would be like to fight other Dorluns."

"I agree, she needs your support," Wampaaan'riix said. "But if you keep pushing yourself you may not be there when she needs it the most. This Dotz woman. She can predict the enemy attacks, can't she? Why not ask her for help? If she can tell Luffa where to go and when, then she can do the same for you, right?"

"That's the problem," Zatte said. "Dotz can't see Luffa's fate, only the planets and battles that lie ahead. We only know Luffa will get involved when Luffa decides to intervene."

"Strange, but even if that's true, why not see what Dotz can read about your own future?" Wampaaan'riix suggested. "I'm surprised you haven't already. You're a survivalist after all."

"I... I can't," Zatte said. She rose from the foam mat on the deck of her cabin and approached the desk.

"Well why not?" Wampaaan'riix asked. "It can't be a moral objection. You seem to have no problem with any of Dotz' other readings."

"Look, I... I have to go. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Just promise me you'll do it in the daytime," Wampaaan'riix groaned. "I know you've been in space a long time, but my den is on a different day-night cycle than--"

She hastily switched off the monitor, and a second later Luffa entered the cabin.

"I set the slow cooker for three hours," Luffa said as she rubbed her hands together. "How long before we get to Dodjem?"

"Tomorrow morning," Zatte said. They met in the center of the cabin and embraced.

"Dotz thinks there'll be ten Jindan Saiyans there," Luffa said with a smile. "Should be interesting."

"I'm going with you," Zatte insisted.

"Oh, I can handle ten," Luffa assured her.

"Then I'll watch you through my scope," Zatte said. "Or I'll shoot a few down for you, but either way, I'm coming along."

"Heh. Okay. You worry too much, you know that?"

"Someone has to," Zatte said. "Dotz still can't see your future, you know."

"Well, her other predictions are getting better," Luffa said. "On Shoust IV, she managed to get an accurate count on the enemy. She even located them to within a one mile radius. I think her powers are really coming along."

"Yeah, but she can't see your future."

"Does that still bother you?" Luffa asked.

Zatte tightened her grip on Luffa's torso and swung her onto the nearby bed. A moment later, she was had climbed on top of Luffa, planting her hands on her shoulders.

"No, it doesn't," Zatte said. "Not anymore."

"I'm not sure how to respond to that," Luffa said with a grin.

"I thought about it," Zatte said after giving her a long kiss. "I prayed about it too. Is it all right if I light some candles?"

"Uh, sure, knock yourself out," Luffa said.

Zatte rolled off of Luffa and went to a storage cabinet on the other side if her cabin. She removed four candles and laid them on the floor in a trapezoid formation surrounding the bed. After she lit each one, she got back in bed and knelt beside Luffa.

"Is the scent too much for you?" Zatte asked. "I know how sensitive your nose is."

"It's fine," Luffa said. "Smells kind of nice, really."

"It's not exactly sacred," Zatte said. The incense is just to keep insects away during religious observances. It makes me feel closer to Providence, though. So does this."

She placed her hand on Luffa's neck, and rested her thumb where she could take her pulse. The she took a deep breath and muttered something in her native language.

"Uh, what's going on here, exactly?" Luffa asked.

"I realized that I was letting Dotz' abilities cloud my faith in you," Zatte said. "I promised myself that I wouldn't ask her to read my future. I was worried that she might find out that I end up living without you somehow."

"I won't leave you, Zattie," Luffa said. "We've had our ups and downs, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I have to trust that," Zatte said. "That's why I can't let Dotz's predictions bother me. She's getting better at them, but not when it comes to you. That scared me for a while, so I started meditating on it."

"Go on," Luffa said carefully.

"I came to realize that it makes sense that Dotz can't see your fate, because you're part of the Divine Plan. If she knew what you were going to do and when, then it would be like she was seeing into the mind of Providence."

"Or maybe I'm just so powerful that my ki interferes with her readings," Luffa suggested.

"Sure, that could be all it is," Zatte said. "But I like the version that supports my fanatic devotion to you."

She leaned over to kiss Luffa, still taking her pulse as they embraced. Luffa pulled away gently, and shook her head.

"You know how uncomfortable I get with this stuff," she said.

"I know," Zatte said. "But you keep getting hurt out there, and Dotz doesn't know what will happen next, so this is how I cope."

"I mean, you tell me I'm like God's righteous bludgeon or something, but the other night you... well, it was great, but maybe it was sacrilegious?"

Zatte straddled Luffa again, and held down her shoulders. "It's okay," she said. "Sex is a consecration ritual in my culture."

"Oh yeah?" Luffa asked.

"Dorluns value survival. People don't usually have sex while they're being chased by predators. They do it when they're safe and secure. And it can bring about new life."

"Huh. Maybe that's why my own people are so uptight about it," Luffa said. "In public, I mean. I've always had... ah!... mixed feelings about being safe."

"It's all in how you look at it. We're flying through a vacuum, faster than the speed of light, through a war zone, on a pleasure craft with no crew. And we're not exactly dressed for action right now. But if you're still bored, I'll... mmph!... I'll see if I can keep you amused for a while."

*******

[21 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

The battle on Dodjem went as smoothly as could be expected. Dotz' prophecies were mostly accurate, and Luffa was able to surprise the enemy before they noticed her ship. They fought back ferociously, and Luffa's right shoulder was scorched by a ki attack, but Dr. Topsas was confident that he could heal this in a matter of days. Dodjem was liberated in less than two hours, and Luffa proceeded on her way to the next battle Dotz had predicted, in the Ryllax System.

"Careful," Luffa said, guiding Zatte's hand away from her banadaged shoulder. She had set up the slow cooker once again, and the two of them had convened in Zatte's cabin.

"Does it hurt?" Zatte asked as she gingerly lifted Luffa's blood-stained shirt over her head and other arm.

"Sure it hurts, but that's not the point," Luffa said. "Doc'll really be sore if you mess up his bandanges."

"It's a wonder the whole ship isn't full of this stuff," Zatte said. She tossed the shirt at the laundry receptacle, but it hit the rim and fell out instead. "I mean, where does he put it all after he cuts it off of you?"

"He eats it," Luffa said.

"You're kidding."

"No, seriously. I've seen him do it. He makes all of these bandages from his own webbing. It takes a lot of protein to make that work, so he doesn't like to waste it."

"I had no idea," Zatte said. "You think you know a guy... whuh--!"

Luffa pulled her close with her good arm. "Forget about him for now. I wanted to talk about that shot you took back on Dodjem."

Zatte's expression shifted from genuine surprise to feigned innocence. "Oh, did that bother you, darling?"

"I thought one of those Jindan bastards found you," Luffa said. "I had one of them wide open, ready to kill, and I had to pass it up so I could chase the other one down before he found you."

"He had no idea where I was hiding," Zatte boasted.

"I know," Luffa said. "Even I couldn't find you. How am I supposed to watch your back if I don't even know where you are? You're taking a big risk out there, you know that, right?"

"That's the way," Zatte said. "Talk dirty to me."

"Oh, I'll do more than talk before I'm through with you," Luffa said with a grin. "I'll-- dammit..."

She rolled away from Zatte and drew her arms to her chest.

"Let me see," Zatte said.

"It's nothing," Luffa insisted. "Just give me a minute."

"Let me see," Zatte insisted back. Luffa made an irritated grunt, but didn't resist when Zatte took her hands in her own.

"I was starting to think your hands had stopped trembling," Zatte said as she massaged Luffa's palms. It didn't actually do anything to improve the situation, but it made them both feel better when she did this. "I haven't seen you stuff them in your pockets much lately."

"It's... it's not as bad as it used to be," Luffa said. "I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with Katem, but I think it still helps. Maybe it's all your prayers."

"He's kind of a hot mess," Zatte said.

"Just like his mom, huh?" Luffa chuckled.

"You're not a bad mother, Luffa. What happened wasn't your fault."

"I know," Luffa said. "It doesn't help much, but I know."

"You're still worked up about Fytpall, aren't you?" Zatte asked.

"I've seen worse in my time," Luffa said.

"Maybe, but you were pretty shaken up when you came back from that one," Zatte said. "You don't usually stick around and see what the civilians are going through."

"I'm just... I'm not strong enough, Zattie. I know that sounds stupid coming from me, but I know I could do better than this. If I was just a little better, I could..."

"You're good enough, okay? And maybe you can get stronger, but you can't just get there instantly. It's like you always tell me when we spar."

Luffa didn't say anything, but her heavy sigh was response enough. Zatte continued to rub her thumbs into the scars on Luffa's hands.

"You don't have to be tough for me," Zatte said. "It's okay. It's okay."

Soon enough, the tremors in Luffa's hands subsided, and they went back to what they were doing, although the mood had shifted from flirtation to comfort. Within thirty minutes, their clothes lay on the deck, and they were entangled in the sheets. Zatte occasionally said something in her own language, and kept her finger on Luffa's carotid artery as she muttered to herself. Eventually, she sat up and cradled Luffa's upper body in her lap.

*******

[24 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

"I was so busy favoring my shoulder that I left my knee wide open!" Luffa grumbled. The campaign on Ryllax had ended hours ago, but Luffa's clothes and hair still carried the scent of Ryllaxian pollens from the battlefield.

"Are you going to make it to Eirzee IV?" Zatte asked as she carried Luffa's pants to the laundry receptacle. She took in the strange aroma one last time before shoving the clothes into the hatch.

"Oh, sure," Luffa said. "Doc repaired the worst of it, and I'll have to play it more carefully, but now he's gonna kick me out of the kitchen!"

"You don't know that," Zatte said.

"I can practically hear him, Zattie," Luffa said. "'Saving planets is one thing, but I'll not have you undoing all my work making a casserole, little mammal.'"

"What, now you can see the future, too?" Zatte asked. She was setting up candles around the bed again.

"Heh, maybe. I guess Old Darbock's genes are finally kicking in," Luffa said. "But it looks like I only know how to predict cranky doctors, so Dotz's job is probably safe."

"Well, I hate to take sides, but we can get by on leftovers for a while," Zatte said. "You cook too much food anyway."

Luffa lay back in the bed and groaned. "Still? I keep cutting the portions down for you guys, and it's still too much? That's insane..."

"I'm going to do my litany now," Zatte said. "Any requests?"

"I, uh, I don't think so," Luffa said. "Well, bless Dotz again. And Doc, and the others. And yourself."

Zatte began speaking slowly and methodically, reciting lines from the Dorlun Holybook in her alien tongue. Luffa only knew bits and pieces of her language, but Zatte had been happy to translate for her whenever she asked.

Luffa felt strange whenever her wife did these kinds of observances. She had never been comfortable with being a "chosen one" in Zatte's theology-- or anyone else's, for that matter. And yet, watching this woman pray over her so fervently was somehow inspiring. Zatte had suffered so much in her life, and yet she refused to abandon her principles. It reminded her of Saiyan pride, though Luffa supposed that most beings would just call it stubbornness. Zatte was too zealous to give up hope.

"Thank you for letting me do this," Zatte said when she finished.

"No problem," Luffa said. "Your language is pretty."

She leaned over and fetched a bottle of oil from the edge of the bed. Carefully, she dispensed a small portion onto her fingers, then dabbed it on Luffa's throat and wrists, tracing along the path of major blood vessels.

"All done," Zatte said.

"You've been really ramping up the religious stuff lately," Luffa said. "The litanies, the candles, the oil. I don't really get it myself, but is it helping you?"

"I think so," Zatte said. "The Dorluns prefer not to waste resources on empty ceremony. Some types of xan-nil'Dor call for physical labor. Farming a plot of land, or defending an important place. You, though, well, you're damn near invincible, so you're pretty low-maintenance. I just need something to do. A routine to renew my devotion to your cause."

"Like a practice drill," Luffa said.

Zatte rose from the bed and started putting out the candles. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. I may not be able to stop your hands from shaking, but at least I can show that I care. I think that's worth doing."

"Maybe," Luffa said. "It's not a big deal. They don't interfere with my fighting."

Zatte lay down beside her and took her hands in her own. "It just reminds me of what you've been through. I can't take away your pain, but I can try to empathize. You taught me how important that is."

"I taught you?"

"Sure. You're the most compassionate person I know."

*******

[27 July, 233 Before Age. Interstellar Space.]

Dr. Topsas did not order Luffa out of the kitchen, though after the battle on Gairess, he began to wish he had. He implored Luffa to wait before heading off into another battle, but the point was moot. Dotz had no new predictions, and so Luffa found herself with no choice but to wait. Once more, she spent the evening in her wife's cabin.

"I... I gotta admit," Zatte said as she tried to catch her breath. "Even with the broken ribs... you really--"

"Is this messed up?" Luffa suddenly asked.

"Is what messed up?"

Luffa pointed at herself and then at Zatte. "Us," she said. "I mean, you've got the candles set up, you say a prayer before we go to bed, and then we talk about almost getting killed to get in the mood."

"Don't forget the sparring," Zatte said.

"You know, I never sparred with Kandai," Luffa said. "He never wanted to, and I never questioned it. He was so much stronger than me that he didn't see the point. But the gap between you and me is even bigger, and I love sparring with you."

"We're aliens," Zatte said. "I'm cut off from my own people and you're unique among yours. There's nothing conventional about us."

"I know, but... Zattie, are you ever afraid?"

"Of course," Zatte said. "Fear keeps you alive."

"I mean, are your afraid right now?" Luffa asked.

"Here? With you?" Zatte asked. "No. Are you afraid?"

"Yeah," Luffa said.

"About the war? Your son?"

"I'm afraid I'm not good enough," Luffa said. I feel like I'm gonna screw this up. Like I have before."

She reached for Zatte's face, and gently removed the patch from her right eye, revealing the scar tissue and prosthetic implant underneath.

"If it's me you're worried about..." Zatte began, but Luffa put her finger on her lips to silence her.

"I know, you're prepared to burn for me, or suffer whatever it takes, right? I wish I had a tenth of your courage. I wish... well, I wish there was some other Super Saiyan handling this."

"Aren't you always saying you're stronger than they were?" Zatte asked.

"Maybe I am, but I bet the old heroes never had to deal with the kind of baggage I've got."

"This is about your hands, isn't it?" Zatte asked. She took Luffa's palms into her own, and held them steady in case they began to tremble.

"It was four years ago," Luffa said. "I should have gotten over it by now. I should have gotten over Keda's death, I should have gotten over everything... The old heroes never had to deal with this sort of thing. They just fought and won. Nice and simple. I'm fighting, and I'm winning, but I keep dwelling on it all. Worrying about battles from the past, wondering how I'm going to do in the next ones."

"Maybe they had it just as bad," Zatte said. "Maybe the storytellers just left those parts out."

"Sometimes I wish things were different, you know? You told me before this is exactly how you wanted things to be, but I bet you'd like it better with Keda still alive. Or hell, the rest of the colony."

"But they're not alive, Luffa," Zatte said. "I have to accept that they're gone."

"I could have saved them all," Luffa said. "I had the power. I must have had it inside me all along. If only I had known how to use it then. When it would have mattered. If only I wasn't such a coward..."

"Don't say things like that!" Zatte said. "I know you use that kind of talk to get yourself fired up, but I don't want you believing that sort of thing. You're the bravest person I know."

"It's not enough," Luffa said. "That's what I worry about, anyway."

"And that's what the candles and the prayers are for," Zatte said. She lifted Luffa's hands slightly. "I don't just pray for the tremors to stop," she said. "I pray that the tremors won't interfere with your mission. I pray that you can accept what you are the way I do. You know why?"

Luffa didn't answer, so she lay down beside her and took her hand.

"Maybe you're right, and maybe another Super Saiyan could deal with this better than you could. You've told me that you think there might be another one like you, a thousand years from now. Well, I don't think the universe can wait that long. I think we need a Super Saiyan right now, and you're it."

"You're right," Luffa said. "It's just hard to see it that way from the inside. All these fights I've been having with these cultists, they start to run together after a while. It'd be different if they were stronger, or if I could come at them healthy. But they keep chipping away at me, and there doesn't seem to be any end to it..."

"We've got some time, at least," Zatte said. "Dotz hasn't seen anything new coming up, right? Remember how you used to fly over the coastlines on Luffasworld?"

"Yeah," Luffa said, "but that's way out in the galactic core. By the time we got there--"

Zatte put a finger on her lips. "I know that, but Woshad's not far away. We could take a few days to look around there."

Luffa seemed pleased by the suggestion, but before she could speak, a chirping noise sounded from the cabin's intercom, and both women looked up to see the light blinking on the panel on the wall.

"Um, this is Dotz," came the voice through the speaker. "Well, um, the service robot told me I could talk to the whole ship this way, and I thought it might be faster than trying to find everyone. Despye's been attacked. Or, well, it will be in about twenty hours. It looks pretty bad to me. I saw about twenty Saiyans, and one of those rock creatures they use."

"Oh no..." Zatte said.

"I, uh, set a course for Despye," Dotz continued, "and we should be heading there now, but I thought one of you should check to make sure I did it right. I'm still getting used to the helm controls..."

"We won't get there in twenty hours," Luffa grumbled. "Those bastards will have a head start, again. Even if the fleet can get there before us--"

"I know, I'll take care of it," Zatte said. She rolled out of the bed and went to find her clothes. "You need to get some sleep."

"Fine, but make sure you get some yourself," Luffa said. "I mean... you're going with me, right?"

"So I can watch you wipe them out before I can even line up a shot?" Zatte asked. "Sure, if you want me to."

"Actually," Luffa said as she patted her swollen knee, "I was thinking I might lure a few in for you to shoot. Make things a little easier. For Doc, you know?"

Zatte grinned as she pulled her shirt over her head, and most of that smile was still there when she turned to look back at Luffa. "For Dr. Topsas," she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "Makes sense. He's been working pretty hard lately."

"Just don't stay up all night cleaning your guns, okay?" Luffa muttered.

Zatte pulled on a pair of shorts and headed for the door. "Anything you say," she chuckled as she headed out into the corridor.

NEXT: Rats in mazes.

#dragon ball #fanfiction #lssjluffafic #super saiyan #luffa #zatte #treekul #wampaaan'riix #zhoybok #nagaoka

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coolmarriagerecords · 3 years

Text

On Chronophage

By Zachary Lipez

https://zacharylipez.substack.com/p/notes-on-the-mekons-chronophage-and

Chronophage are a band from Texas. They have been around for three years. Chronophage consists of Parker Allen (they/them) guitar and vox, Sarah Beames (she/her) bass and vox, and Cody Phifer (he/him) drums. For the new record, Parker’s brother, Casey Allen (he/him) plays synth. That’s all I know about Chronophage. The internet shows no interviews and, besides punk zines I don’t own (and presumably critics on Terminal-Boredom forums), the music press outside of Austin has ignored them. I first heard about the band from MaximumRnR, which listed their debut, Prolog for Tomorrow, released in December of 2018, as one of the best albums of 2019 (you can do stuff like that when you’re a revered punk zine). Because MRR is famously *cough* averse to cover any band that even flirts with problematicism, I don’t have to worry about my ignorance of Chronophage’s individual members potentially allowing me to big up fascists. Maybe it’ll turn out they’re Maoists (an ideology MRR is less worried about) but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when/if we come to it. Anyway, I had never even heard of Chronophage (a small miracle unto itself considering the underground’s ready access to publicists and music writers- such as myself- who love few things more than being the first to “discover” a band.). But, even while my sense of aural adventure is a bit rusty since the days of having to risk $8.99 on albums based solely on cover art and/or vibes in the air, I just knew Prolog for Tomorrow was going to scratch an itch. Maybe not an immediate itch but, when you keep as many itches on file as I do, you can afford to trust your instincts. Especially when those instincts have already been validated by some punk weirdo in Oakland who’s probably still mad at the Go-Go’s for firing Margot Olavarria fifteen years before they were born. My instincts served me well because that hypothetical punk weirdo was right! (About both things.)

I’m not sure how to describe Chronophage. I’m not a major fan of the comparisons, to Swell Maps or the Messthetics comps, that the punks made. I don’t dislike either point of reference but knowing Chronophage supposedly sounds like both doesn’t affect how I hear the band. Prolog for Tomorrow’s inner sleeve art has “Curse of Chronophage” scrawled, which may be a reference to The Curse of The Mekons. Or maybe not. I’m trying not to project my bullshit on the band. Matter of fact, Chronophage don’t sound anything like the honky-tonkin’-Mekons. Not because Chronophage aren’t honkys tonkin’ but because, historically speaking, American bands aren’t as hung up on sounding American as English bands are. The album art for Prolog is reminiscent of much of the (actually) cut and (actually) pasted Pavementisms of the ‘90s, which in turn was lifted directly from The Fall and all that band’s adherents. Like early Pavement and The Fall, Chronophage are full of hooks, some overt and many buried under transient skronk. But, unlike all the obscurist indie Chronophage shares a typewriter with, the basic template on the album, if there’s one at all, is “folk punk.” I suppose? At least the sense of that genre is present, if dependent on an expansive notion of both “folk” and “punk.” Minus any busking grotesqueries in the “Wagon Wheel” vein, there’s the strum and twang of barely distorted guitars, every string visible in the mind’s eye, maybe in need of tuning or maybe just playing those jazz chords I hear so much about at music critic parties. While only three musicians play on Prolog, horns and keys go in and out of the songs like a C Squat marching band showing up to support the potluck. Adding to the offhand spontaneity of the proceedings, there’s intermittent cowpoke yowlings, some very live sounding drums, and at least one poetry reading. There’s a real anarchist house party vibe but just when it feels like Chronophage are going to lose their train of thought or, worse, ask to borrow the touring band’s kick drum pedal, another fragile and plaintive power pop chorus arrives in time to keep me from retreating to the kitchen to bum beer off strangers.

If we’re going to (re)subscribe to my initial thesis that there are certain sounds made by certain bands that provide a messily alluring alternative to the pat and disingenuous cleanliness of overculture, therefore making a prickly honesty worth striving for (even if that striving lends itself to either self delusion or a romanticizing of failure), then Chronophage are what we’re talking about. Even if on their new album, The Pig Kiss’d (out on November 23), they kind of fuck a significant amount of my thesis over by showing that they do, in fact, know what they’re doing. Whatever. I deserve it. The whole mythology around The Mekons as a band finding dignity in the face of drunken ineptitude was a fib. While not having the chops of The Texas Playboys, and certainly often drunk, The Mekons, by the mid-’80s, were writing and performing songs as subtle and dynamic as any non-boring rock and roll, not to mention post-punk, band could aspire to. Because perfection is so oppressive, its absence will always be its own inherent virtue. But even better than not being able to play your instruments is being able to play them real pretty, but throwing some ugly in anyway. Just to show all the aesthetic bible thumpers that heaven isn’t always the hot shit it purports to be.

The Pig Kiss’d is a sharper, more streamlined, proposition than Chronophages’s first record. The guitars, thankfully still mainly free of any distortion mush, ring out as cohesive riffs. Even while the lite-funk chunka-chunkas still occasionally approximate Desperate Bicycles covering Steely Dan (an under-appreciated subculture band influence… a lot of people don’t know that Big Black’s name was short for “Big Black Cow”), and the snare underpinning gives them a decidedly peace punk punchiness, the riffs now transform into razor-like, no wave leads instead of the decays into noise (or just silence) prevalent on Prolog. While the previous album positioned voices as hesitant souls in conversation, Chronophage’s dual singing is now consistently commanding. Not to say that either Allen or Beames are preoccupied with auditioning for American Idle anytime soon, but they both have cool, heavy-on-personality punk voices, ranging from conversating chill to accusatory growl, which the mix now accentuates. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t miss the feeling of a sinking ship, barely kept afloat by the bodies of oogles under the hull, but I’m also glad for a recording that doesn’t sound like the studio engineer is holding a personal grudge against the drummer. Of course, in no longer sounding a mess, Chronophage runs the risk of just sounding like, you know, a rock band. Of which there are plenty. Luckily this ain’t the case. The desperate, weird energy of Prolog for Tomorrow is still abundant. It’s just put in the service of songcraft more than ADD-infused mood. If there’s a newfound, almost psych, expansiveness in the songwriting, it’s a psych fueled by strychnine over any slouching towards bliss. And when the songwriting contracts, we get instant classics like the album closer, “Name Story,” which could be an undiscovered New Model Army a-side. So much does “Name Story” sound like a lost hit that I had to write the band and ask if it was a cover. (They responded that the aim was to sound like New Order… which is amazing.) Still, by contemporary indie standards, Chronophage sound like countrified First Wave of Black Metal-ers running through the American songbook. By contemporary post-punk standards, which can be applied now that New Order are on the table, Chronophage don’t sound contemporary at all. They sound out of the timeline; Richard Lloyd skipping post-punk entirely to jump headfirst into college rock, making that nerd rock hip, and vice versa. Lightning striking itself. In the face. Repeatedly. And by folk punk standards, if we’re bothering to still apply it, Chronophage continue to sound like the only true freaks in a field of future beer reps.Like I said, I don’t know much about Chronophage. While writing this, I exchanged emails with Parker but, preferring the mystery, I only asked about pronouns and whatnot. Maybe they’re apolitical. Maybe they are Maoists. Maybe they’re neither but still find my chronic naysaying abhorrent and dull. For all I know, they all campaigned hard for Pete Buttigieg and all the proceeds from The Pig Kiss’d are going towards having Chronophage Brand hostile architecture benches placed near the homeless encampments in Austin. Guess we won’t know for sure till the album comes out. But this feels like opposition music, and, more importantly (to me) it feels like music that speaks to a refusal to simply be grateful for the crumbs handed to us. Nit picking, as it were. If not exactly “dignity in the face of drunken ineptitude” then, in the face of endless war and empire and an oligarchal insistence to smile more, Chronophage make a sound that- equal parts sweet fury and sweaty sweetness and spilling over with a feisty, chaotic grace- approaches dignity. If the next few years are great, then great. We can play Chronophage at the cookout we’re all invited to. And if the next four years are instead a happy faced atrocity exhibition, at best a grinding exercise in defending cops, creeps, and landlords for the sole reason of the other side’s cops and creeps and landlords being so much worse? Then Chronophage’s sound will prove to be the kind of correct that’s too sloppy to be smug. Even under austerity, the anarcho-freak punx got bops. So even as COVID, the ice caps, or capital’s poptimist truncheon bear down on us, threatening to tickles our little chins, let us, at least, enjoy this thing.

https://zacharylipez.substack.com/p/notes-on-the-mekons-chronophage-and

* The cassette version of Th’Pig’Kiss’d Album will be available soon on Cool Marriage. Check this blog for updates.

#chronophage #chronophageband

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surflove808 · 5 years

Text

Can’t please everyone all the time, and I really don’t want to. So, um....Hey there, extreme shippers!

I thought to myself, “Everybody is gonna hate me for sure now, because let’s face it - on Tumblr, you’re either on one side or another” apparently. And I’m on neither. So, if I lose a lot of followers, I’m cool with that. You shouldn’t be following me anyway - I’m angry, I curse like a sailor and I don’t make gifs. I’m just a rant machine at the end of the day, who very occasionally reblogs decent stuff.

Speaking of rants...I saw an big rant tonight about people being upset over the person confronting Jensen at JIBCON about his treatment of Misha that was in defense of the shipper, I think? I was gonna reblog with my reply, but not worth it. They don’t deserve to get dogpiled on. Probably a kid. And TBH, my response is way harsher than they deserve.

So, here’s my independent thoughts on this nonsense, and I think it applies to Cockles/Destiehellers as well as extreme J2 tinhatters. I’m so sick of all this shit. And frankly, some of you are giving me the fucking creeps. And yessss, I’m tagging you. How else will you see this? It’s literally meant FOR YOU.

To a non-shipper like me, scrolling through Tumblr for the past 2 years has been very informative in a bad way when it comes to the whole concept of shipping in this fandom. I initially thought it was harmless, even beautiful at times, until I started noticing that there was one common denominator (Jensen) and started to realize he was nothing more than the Superbowl ring between the Patriots and the Seahawks with some of you people. Bottom line (and correct me if I’m wrong) As long as Jensen/Dean is fucking or being fucked by Castiel/Misha or Sam/Jared - GAME ON. Battle to the death, using a real, live human being as the prize.

It really is a prizefight and it feels like if you’re not on one side, you must be on the other. If I comment negatively on one perspective/bad behavior, I’m a BiBro. If I swing too far the other way, I’m a “Destiheller”. For christ’s sake I’M NON-DENOMINATIONAL when it comes to this dumpster fire. No pun intended.

And some of you are fighting over it. Really fighting over the rights to who gets to disrespect this guy/character and his family/co-workers/etc based on your fantastical interpretation of his sexual preferences/partners.

No respect for his privacy, his character or his personal capacity to make his own choices free from your Sauron Eye. Because all that matters is that he’s dicking down with YOUR fave. I get it - he’s stunning, he’s immensely talented, and let’s face it - he’d have “chemistry” with a cactus. What’s the deal? Is reality too much of an emotional stretch?

This whole BiBros/Wincest/J2 tinhatters vs. Destiel/Cockles nonsense is such a mess. A swampy, shitpile of absurd motivation...I can’t wrap my head around it. For the record: I’m pro actor and pro people who can enjoy the show without inserting themselves into the private lives of these actors. That’s it. That’s apparently this blog now. Because I’m so goddamned sick of this farce.

Let's say that you're really into a t.v. show. Like REALLY into it. You fall in love, become invested and start following the actors via social media and conventions. Eventually you find you have immersed and invested yourself so completely in the professional and personal lives of a few of the actors, that the lines become blurry in your mind between actual fact, your version of the truth, and fanfiction. You feel familiar with them in a way that maybe you would with some of your own friends and family and start to fill in gaps (gaps that exist because you don't actually know these people) by using your vivid imagination. You might even be more invested in the interpersonal relationships of these actors than you are in your own. You want for things to be a certain way so badly, that when they're not (or don't seem to be), you feel personally aggrieved by it. And fuck anyone who threatens that, be they fellow fans of the show, wives, co-workers, etc. The illusion of familiarity and ownership grows and grows until one day, you convince yourself that these people actually rely on your counsel and opinions with regards to their professional decisions/friendships/relationships, and you feel encouraged by your own (to quote Death) " Inflated sense of self-importance" to confront them or those close to them about perceived slights via social media, or in person at a convention, for example. There will be some support for your endeavor thanks to the shared psychosis you have with your fellow hardcore true believers. The French call it "folie a deux" (but x 1,000). And you will continue to galvanize each other to greater heights when it comes to inserting yourself into the personal lives of these actors.

If you do this, you'll be a folk hero. People will write songs about you on Tumblr and Twitter! Conversely, there will also be plenty of people saying "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" You will not like these people and you will feel they're only saying that because:

A: They're "haters” or “stans” for one actor more than another B: They "just can't take a joke" C: They're so blinded by hate for one of the actors that it's clouding their judgement. D: They’re not evolved enough or smart enough to “look below the surface and see what’s REALLY going on”.

You will continue to double down on your commitment to this "cause" because you haven't yet found a real cause that's worth fighting for. You will not listen to reason, be respectful of boundaries, or logic until you grow up and out of this obsession. It just takes time. I hope. And you will continue to take the SPN "Family" credo so literally, that you think you're in control of mitigating the personal and professional relationships of people who don't actually know you, and who you don’t actually know. Like - at all. That being said, word on the street is - They DO care, they DO listen, and if some of you who fit the above description have accomplished anything - it's that you're now Crazy Aunt Dolores that no one wants to sit next to at Thanksgiving, but there she is, and somebody has to draw the short straw and listen to her conspiracy theories while trying to digest their turkey. We’re all trying to be patient with Crazy Aunt Dolores, but that patience is wearing REAL thin. At least it is for me. I’m already planning on what to wear to her funeral. Bottom line: These guys will continue to live their lives as they see fit, not how you do. You need to find a way to come to terms with that.

Certain fans will continue to twist scenes, words, photos, actions... fuck... even every minor, incidental shot of body language to suit their purposes, and I will continue to be absolutely amazed by the mental gymnastics happening on here that would/could do a world of good elsewhere.

You can certainly invest more time. Precious energy. Keep devoting yourself to self-soothing by creating a cocoon of delusion when the truth runs contrary to your belief. Keep supporting yourself with as much content as you can find that lines up with your pre-existing notion about these people that are strangers to you. People who are unaware of your existence.

And I don’t mean that in a crappy way, it’s a big world out there and you mean something to the people in your life - invest in THAT. Invest in yourself as much as you do in these artificial romances/theories/whatevers and I promise you, I PROMISE you - you’ll be too busy and fulfilled to give a shit anymore. Now, off to take some of my own advice.

#Jensen Ackles #dean winchester #Misha Collins #castiel #Jared Padalecki #Sam Winchester #cockles #Destiel #j2tinhatters

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back-and-totheleft · 4 years

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The Vietnam Odyssey of Oliver Stone

The soldier trained his rifle at the ground in front of the feet of the unarmed Vietnamese villager and fired away, yelling "Dance. Dance. Dance." The old man hopped from one foot to the other.

"I wanted to kill him," recalled Oliver Stone. "I hated him. I crossed over into being a monster."

The above incident is depicted in "Platoon," written and directed by Stone, a Vietnam veteran. It and the other events shown actually happened, according to Stone. He's not proud of it. But he owns up to it. "Platoon" is Oliver Stone's atonement. Moreover, it's our atonement, too. "Platoon" is the first Hollywood movie to take the redemptive power of cinema and focus it on the Vietnam War.

If you think Vietnam was John Wayne in "The Green Berets," Robert DeNiro in "The Deer Hunter" or Marlon Brando in "Apocalypse Now," think again. "Platoon" is about the bugs and rain and the jungle and the pain. It's about the unseen enemy, rice paddy stashes and gun caches in thatched-hut villages. It's about boredom, fear, friendship, rage, loyalty, humor and choices - right and wrong. Like the phrase from the comic strip Pogo, "We have met the enemy and they is us," that's what "Platoon" is all about.

Why is "Platoon" drawing critical raves, Oscar talk and large numbers at the box office? Why is it being called the most important movie about Vietnam, or perhaps the most important war movie ever made? Why, 20 years after the war's escalation, are we seeing images of a Vietnam movie on the cover of Time magazine and in the media across the nation?

Oliver Stone has a few theories. The Academy-award-winning writer ("Midnight Express") and acclaimed writer-director ("Salvador") says it took 20 years for the nation to heal its wounds, for historic perspective to settle in and allow Americans to understand Vietnam and welcome home its legacy - the Vietnam Vet. It took the Vietnam monument in Washington, D.C., and, yes, Bruce Springsteen's misunderstood "Born in the U.S." ("Got in a little hometown jam/So they put a rifle in my hand/Send me off to a foreign land/Go and kill the yellow man.") It was an educational process, Stone told a recent gathering of the media in New York.

"We thought the war was over, when in fact it was just beginning," Stone recalled of his return after 15 months with the 25th Infantry Division near the Cambodian border. Stone, wounded twice, was awarded the Bronze Star for combat gallantry and a Purple Heart with Oak Leaf Cluster. He was later transferred to the First Cavalry Division. Of his return home, he says, "There was total indifference. The war happened at 7:15 each night on the news."

Stone, 40, is a bear of a man with a boyish face. He's a very forceful individual who speaks in bursts of words which tumble forth. At the same time, the writer in him is ever observant. He seems impatient, as if he can't wait to get back to the word processor.

Ten days after his return in November 1968, Stone found himself in prison, arrested on a marijuana charge. Adjusting to civilian life for him and some 2 million other Vietnam servicemen would not be easy. But Stone managed to tough it out. What was his salvation? The cinema. Stone studied screenwriting and directing with Martin Scorsese at New York University Film School, receiving a BFA in 1971.

A Canadian firm bought a screenplay, "Seizure," and allowed him to direct the low-budget film. In 1976, Stone moved to Hollywood. Two years later, he won an Academy Award for his screenplay, "Midnight Express," which also brought him the Writers Guild of America Award. Stone also directed another low budget film, "The Hand," and co-authored the script for "Conan the Barbarian" and wrote the screenplay for "Scarface."

It was 10 years ago, during America's Bicentennial, that Stone wrote the script for "Platoon." He says every studio in Hollywood turned it down, telling him nobody wanted to see a movie about the Vietnam War. "It was considered too gruesome, too realistic."

"Platoon" is a Vietnam movie from the grunt's point of view. We see the war through the eyes of Charlie Sheen, who plays Chris, a young recruit (based on Stone), and hear it through his words in letters he writes to his grandmother back home.

The movie depicts a night watch in the jungle turned into an ambush by the North Vietnamese Army, contrasts the boozers (those who drank beer and alcohol off-duty) and the heads (those who used marijuana and other drugs back at base camp), shows a My Lai type scourging of a village by American soldiers and the conflict between a gung-ho, out-to-kill lifer Sgt. Barnes (Tom Berenger), and a mild-mannered eager-to-get-o ut-alive Sgt. Elias (Willem Dafoe). The movie does not paint a glorious picture of the American presence in Vietnam.

" 'Apocalypse Now' was about everyday life in Vietnam. It was more Joseph Conrad mythology," said Stone. " 'The Deer Hunter' was more about Pennsylvania and Meryl Streep than Vietnam."

The characters in "Platoon" are based on real people who existed in three different combat units in Vietnam. The characters and events are composites, but based on reality, Stone said. "My hypothesis was: 'What would happen if the three were in the same Platoon?' "

I asked Stone how accurate the scenes were depicting drug use in Vietnam. Many Vietnam soldiers were introduced to drugs in Vietnam and returned with drug habits. "Not in the field," said Stone. "A lot of us did it in the base camp - mostly marijuana, some heroin."

The tone of "Platoon" is not one of condemnation, but rather understanding - a knowledge that the roots of war are in all of us. Stone called war "one of the greatest highs. There's an adrenaline that flows. Life freezes down to a minute."

As you might expect, the violence in "Platoon" is graphic. But it is not gratuitous. "TV violence is obscene," said Stone of small-screen images of crashing cars, shootouts and fistfights where the participants seem to always mend by next week's episode. "It ignores reality, the real pain, shock and loss. It (violence) has to be done explicitly. Otherwise, you'll deceive the public."

Stone found a willing backer for "Platoon" in England. John Daly and Derek Gibson, owners of Hemdale Film Corp. arranged financing and brought in producer Arnold Kopelson. "Platoon" was brought in for $6 million, a low figure in today's Hollywood where a $15-million budget is average. Orion Pictures is distributing the movie.

Hemdale had produced Stone's "Salvador." Other noteworthy Hemdale movies include "The Falcon and the Snowman," "At Close Range," "River's Edge," "The Terminator" and "Hoosiers." They'll team again with Stone for his upcoming "Tom Mix and Pancho Villa.'

"Platoon" was described "as the flipside of 'Top Gun.' "

" 'Top Gun' was totally irresponsible, really," said Daly. "My friend's son, 12, saw 'Top Gun' and wanted to sign up. I said, 'Wait to sign-up until he sees 'Platoon.' "

To heighten authenticity, Stone and the producers brought the cast to the Philippines prior to shooting for two weeks of "basic training." Sheen, Berenger, Dafoe and the rest were given a shovel, told to dig their home, taken on hikes and climbs, given night guard duty and handed Army rations. Capt. Dale Dye, a retired Marine officer and Vietnam veteran, was in charge.

Dye, who has a consulting firm, Warriors Inc., which advises film-makers on military accuracy, contacted Stone, telling him, "You understand that this is as significant for the Vietnam veteran as anything is going to be. Let's do it right."

Dye was a sergeant in Vietnam where he was wounded in action three times during 31 major combat operations including the battle for Hue City and Khe Sanh during the Tet Offensive in 1968. Later, as a master sergeant he was active in the evacuation of Saigon and Phom Penh.

" 'Apocalypse Now' and 'The Deer Hunter' are war films," said Dye, "but have nothing to do with Vietnam. They are allegorical in nature, but don't reflect the agony and ecstasy of young men who went to fight in that very difficult war."

Dye now has no illusions about war: "I went into it with grand delusions of flashing sabers and lovely ladies on my arm. When I got down to the mud and the blood, I found that to be hollow."

Stone was similarly gung-ho. A son of a stockbroker who met his wife in Paris during World War II, Stone attended the Hill School, Pottstown, before entertaining Yale University. He studied there for one year. In 1965, he got a job with the Free Pacific Institute, teaching Vietnamese-Chinese students in the Cholon district of Saigon. Then, he got a job on an American merchant ship. Two years later, at 21, he was back in Vietnam.

Has "Platoon" helped Stone put Vietnam behind him? Yes, he says. "I was totally warped and twisted by Vietnam. I got rid of all my demons."

-Paul Willistein, “The Vietnam Odyssey of Oliver Stone,” The Morning Call, Feb 1 1987 [x]

#oliver stone #platoon #paul willistein #morning call #the vietnam war #dale dye #ptsd #coming home

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bbq-hawks-wings · 5 years

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What do you think about Hawks / Fuyumi ? Would they really fit together?

You know, I debated about making a post like this at some point, so now’s really as good a time as ever… Let’s get a few things out of the way:

People ship what they want. They don’t need a rhyme or reason and aren’t wrong for shipping what they want as long as they don’t leave their own camp to go harass someone else. Supporting other ships and people enjoying their ships is always cool, though!

I can give my opinions of what I ship and why, but I don’t actually have any delusion that my opinion will majorly sway any one individual and definitely not any shipping camp. See point #1.

This will be less about what I personally ship and is more of a speculative post based on characterization we’ve seen in the series so far as what MAY BECOME CANON. For fairness’ sake, I’ll be including Endeaver, Dabi, and Miruko (as some of the most popular shipping options with Hawks and to also get them out of the way preemptively) and weighing SOME of the pros and cons as well as rating the ship on the plausibility meter from 1-5. (1 being least likely and 5 being most.) This, however, means nothing in the end and is just an exercise in speculation. See point #1.

I will not be throwing this out into the larger character and ship tags because even though it isn’t my intention to start a ship war that will not stop people who don’t like how I dunk on their ship or don’t dunk on another. This is just my opinion in the end, after all. If this gets shared far and wide so be it, but ultimately: see point #1.

Let us begin.

Hawks x Fuyumi:

Pros:

Close in age

Both focused on helping people.

Both insinuated to be looking for a normal, loving family experience after a rough childhood.

Cons:

Haven’t met in the series at the time of writing

Neither are indicated to have much in common

While definitely not unheard of (See: David Tenant), dating and eventually marrying the daughter of your role model invites some additional drama and strain not usually incorporated into a relationship

Canon Rating: 1/5 - Not likely at all.

Do I ship it? No

Additional comments: There’s potential for some sweet interactions in this ship, but there’s really no indication in canon to base this ship on, nor is there any significant addition to the plot their relationship would have. It doesn’t always have to be the case, but usually authors strategically pair up characters to introduce new interpersonal dynamics or further the plot through character development. (Assuming it’s not just pairing characters together for the sake of pairing them.)

Hawks X Miruko:

Pros:

Interesting couple dynamic

Hero power couple

Already seem to be on friendly terms with each other.

Cons:

Little canon interaction

No indication the relationship is more than friendly

Despite being popular, there’s more character showcase of Fuyumi than Miruko so far

Canon Rating: 1/5- Not likely at all.

Do I ship it? No

Additional comments: Most of the same problems Hawks x Fuyumi runs into. Personal opinion, I prefer the two as a BrOTP.

Hawks X Endeavor: (Oh boy, here we go…)

Pros:

Established interpersonal connection

Insinuated they’ll continue to have interactions meant to be deeply personal and moving in nature

Hawks’ deep-seated - even if misguided - urge to do good combined with Endeavor’s newfound understanding and respect for the role of “#1 Hero” has a lot of real potential for deep character development.

Cons:

Major age difference - Endeavor is literally old enough to be Hawk’s father

Major power imbalance - Hawks has looked up to him since childhood as a role model and idol

Endeavor’s abuse history has yet to be revealed and combined with Hawks’ insinuated rough childhood and clear disillusion with the hero system it will not bode well for their relationship when it comes to light

Canon Rating: 1/5 - Not likely at all.

Do I ship it? No

Additional comments: Based on Endeavor’s role in Hawk’s life so far, assuming that it even survives the reveal of his family’s abuse, Endeavor is canonically a much more familial figure - a father figure and role model.

Side note - my opinion: This ship usually doesn’t bother me, but it does kind of get under my skin on occasion. While I can only speak for myself, if I held someone in that regard and then turn around just to be told I want to boink them I would be downright pissed. Not only is that disregarding my feelings about the role that person had in shaping my life but it also reduces the relationship we shared into mere sex for someone else’s gratification. (I hold this opinion for other parental role/child role;teacher/mentor ships, too.) I think most people come to similar conclusions and realize that some relationships need to just stay platonic. I believe that’s what Horikoshi holds for these two in canon.

Hawks X Dabi: (Oh boy, the other one…)

Pros:

The fanfiction is literally just BEGGING to be written for these two. Enemies to lovers, plain old alternate timelines, the possibilities are endless.

Horikoshi has been about as subtle about the parallels between these two as much as the fact that Dabi is Touya Todoroki

There’s a significant chance that these two characters have been so tightly tied together in narrative that their fates may literally hinge on the actions the other takes.

Even their color schemes are complimentary!

Cons:

They effing hate each other

No really, that’s a much bigger hurdle to overcome than most people seem to realize.

On a fundamental level Hawks HATES Dabi for being callous and dismissive of the lives he throws away, and I don’t think finding out about Endeavor’s abuse will tip the scales too far in his favor based on what we know of his character.

Canon Rating: 2/5 - Not very likely.

Do I ship it? No

Additional comments: As it stands in canon Dabi is the most likely character to end up canonically shipped with Hawks, but even that’s majorly unlikely as things currently stand between them. Hawks hasn’t been able to get anywhere NEAR the League - the latter not even realizing that Hawks is trying to get in - and all that internal struggle I brought up that Hawks is going through? That’s because of DABI. That’s literally ALL Dabi’s fault. Hawks currently sees him as a lying, murdering manipulator and terrorist who only cares about watching the world burn and he needs to be stopped at all costs. The only reason Dabi gets an extra point from the others is pure speculation as far as where the manga is almost DEFINITELY going (at least as far as Hawks joining the League and Endeavor’s exposure - putting Dabi in a more sympathetic light), but that’s it.

Side note - my opinion: Please, I GET IT. These two are ridiculously shippable, but I have a hard time getting past that glaring problem in canon to do so. I can easily see it in a true AU, but canonically I just don’t see it happening. Hawks as a character would have to change SO DRAMATICALLY for the ship to happen - assuming Dabi remains a villain until the end - or Dabi would, and I see stooping to that to see the two wind up together is a major disservice to the individual characters as well as the author who clearly has something to say with these characters that’s much bigger and more culturally critical in nature than just “and then they kissed!” That isn’t to say they can’t ever happen. I don’t know where the story is going, but I’m making an educated guess based off of the evidence I currently have.

xxxxxxxx

And with that done, you may be wondering, “But if you don’t ship him with any of those, who do you ship him with?” To that I answer:

Myself. I’m only 5% serious, guys, chill.

I thoroughly believe you do not need to ship a character with anyone to enjoy them, and it’s kind of heartbreaking to see such a suffocating ship culture in fandom now. I don’t think anon meant to be so when they asked this question, by any stretch of the imagination, but I did want to just get this all out in the open before I got asked my opinion on the others because I’ve seen it coming for a while now, and answering their question would have invited this discussion in the first place.

But always remember that regardless of who ships what that it’s no cause to harass anyone else. Enjoy your separate corners of fandom and get excited about the things you share. If it’s just too much for you to personally deal with, blacklist and avoid that content. In the end it makes a much more safe and inclusive space to enjoy for everyone!

And remember, thaT’s JusT a ThEORy! A SPECULATIVE THEORY!

#let's talk hawks #she speaks

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roseate7 · 5 years

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(just know that this isn't me at all saying 'calm down' or how to feel because holy shit, everyone deserves to feel some kind of fuckin way right now)

So there's a reason why I'll start off with this, I promise:

One of my concerns right now is that Gudbranson not bring any dirty ugly hits to a team that has taken care to try and clean that from the team since Matt Cooke. Sidney Crosby fights his own fights. Evgeni Malkin fights his own fights. Modern enforcers - and they hardly deserve the term - cause nothing but chaos and far too much damage.

The Pens don't need big hulking guys who punch hard and take penalties harder. They need defense that is quick with great vision. Which they have, but this season (and honestly last season as well) has seen all of them out injured too long to enjoy them. In their place there's been a rotating door of Rutherford choices who he only ends up shipping right back out again. The only choice he's held hard on is his worst one.

And that's where I'm going with this: the greatest enemy to the Pens is Jim Rutherford and there is absolutely no hiding or 'don't be dramatic' hand-waiving to be done anymore. Every failure this team has experienced since last season is sat squarely at his front door. The Pens as a team are not perfect but they are resilient and resourceful and have a core that's won multiple Cups together. Losses of course happen to this team sometimes but not the outright failures. The failures are in management.

But Jim is a rich old white hockey duffer, the most dangerous breed in the modern NHL. They control just about everything, they belong to a club that look out for each other above all else and they will honestly die without ever having to face consequences for their actions. You know how much I big up what Brendan Shanahan has been doing for hockey? He's considered a greenhorn. He's fifty years old, has a winning legacy that stretches throughout his entire playing career, and he's a modern guy who can speak the language of the ancients. Yet he's still considered the young buck threatening the good old ways of hockey. We've literally got to fucking wait out the natural working-lives of guys like Rutherford to see them gone and proceed with a modern hockey that is more about playing hockey than the goonery seen from Philly last weekend that squeaked them a "win". A team like the Pens whose current dynasty has worked so hard to be more about skill and play than goons and enforcers are hamstrung by management that doesn't have the modern hockey sensibility to understand that approach and effectively keeps working against it with his trades.

As far as what this season still holds for the Pens, I'm not being remotely overly-optimistic when I say it ain't over til it's over.

- this season has been fucking chaotic across the league - every time a team (besides TBL) thinks they're up and in the clear, either a humiliating loss to a low-ranked team or a losing streak has them sliding face-first on concrete

- the superstars throughout the league are not all having their best seasons, so slumps for guys like Evgeni Malkin are far from isolated to the Pens and not all of the other guys come out of it ready to save entire games like Malkin has

- on the one hand that chaos is all a great sign of cap salary era truly coming into it's own by spreading talent more evenly across teams, but on the other it's made for extremely fraught fans on every team (except TBL)

- TBL are a juggernaut to be sure, but nip out a couple key players with injuries at this stage and honestly? shit could fall apart even for them - dented confidence was their achilles heel last year and this year's losses have proven that issue remains (which isn't unusual for consistently strong teams since getting used to wins makes losses sting all the more)

- the Pens have kept TBL on the run the three times they've met! and with no lucky breaks! quite the damn opposite considering that Jon Cooper cited how few errors TBL made to cost them their confidence in the Pens-winning game and the other two Pens losses to TBL were tight scores and solid games of hockey

- the stadium series farce (both the weather and the appalling play from the Flyers is in fact the Pens number one proof of quality: the refs were too chicken shit about Philly fans to make any calls against the home team, the Flyers saw that they were losing the entire game by the first and decided to crush the head and neck of the Pens' top two defensemen respectively, begged for time out and pulled their goalie in and out like a demented children's toy, and STILL had to rely on the fucking weather turning awful to squeak in one OT goal

So Pens' fans? Rest fully assured in the fact - bitter as it may taste - that the team is incredible. They've got management whose choices are actively working against theirs stability, their needs and their interests and they have been keeping the playoffs alive. This is without a doubt the worst hand they've been dealt in years - possibly a decade? - and the team is finding Ws and staying on the board regardless.

And trust me, while some teams flail around trying to point fingers but with no amount of changes making any lasting difference, Pens fans can point to one man and say 'this is your fault'. If he'd had his hands tied behind his back at multiple points along the way last season and this season, this team would be better off and that is salient fact-based truth that absolutely no one but Rutherford and Sullivan are trying to hide from anymore. I don't care if they're nice guys. Rutherford has a golden once-in-a-modern-hockey-lifetime dynasty held in his hands and he's mangling it for no reason. Take a fuckin tip from coach Scotty Midas Bowman: sometimes when you have more, you should do less.

Anyway, this playoffs are not ready to be called at this moment in time for the Pens (or indeed for most anyone) so for those who want to carry hope to the very end you're totally fair in doing so. The hope is absolutely still there. Equally if anyone wants to just put their playoffs hopes away in self-preservation, have a good old cry and channel their rage at Rutherford to at least get some enjoyment out of the coming games then go for it.

Everybody deals with this kind of sports insanity their own way. Use the X-Kit Mute functions, use blacklists, temporarily unfollow, vent like all hell or do what you need to cope with the madness.

He’s got a contract til 2022 and a delusion of his own superiority and a complete lack of ability to admit he’s wrong (which he’s done before but apparently not anymore) so his intent definitely isn’t to intentionally tank them.

The Pens have never been in the position for anyone to think management would pull a “Lose for Hughes” so no, this really is just a case of an old man valuing his own pride over all else. His petulant reaction to routine media questioning following JJ’s signing was a big sign and his reactions to criticisms - even sometimes too quickly for anyone to have yet formed any! - is consistent proof. He’s lashed out at everyone except the few players he knows he can’t possibly survive without but he’s never once criticized his biggest mistake. That says it all.

The one and only thing the Pens need to turn around is him. He is not Jason Botterill. All contracts can change and he is not worth wasting the latter years of the Crosby-Malkin era on.

#long post #original post #sorry for typos or mistakes I wrote this right after finishing work

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alixofagnia · 6 years

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TLJ Novelization: Review & Revisiting Episode IX Speculation

I’ll be honest: I skim-read a lot of Jason Fry’s novelization.

It’s not the worst SW book, not by a long shot. But I wasn’t drawn in by his writing, an unfair critique, perhaps, given that nothing was going to be surprising. It’s very rote, though, and there were times when his prose wandered surprisingly close to boredom, bafflement, or both. Needless to say, what really disappointed me was the lackluster depiction of Rey and Kylo and some of their scenes together. Take, for example, this description of the closing Falcon scene between Rey and Kylo:

He stared at Rey. She stared back at him, her gaze level and unafraid. There was no hatred in her eyes, as there once had been. But there was no compassion, either.

I’m aware that there are some Reylos currently swooning over this even as other Reylos are mortified at what the “no compassion” bit could really portend. But read it again.

Read it out loud.

It is the most dispassionate description of how that scene played out onscreen, does not even come close to capturing the emotional weight behind that moment.

If that doesn’t convince you or you think I’m being too harsh, there’s also this:

Rey fell backward, bumping into Kylo’s back.

You know what scene that is, right?

Bumping. Into his back. O.M.G.

The misfire in translating Rey and Kylo’s simmering-to-boiling screen chemistry from screen to paper was bound to be inevitable. But I take heart in knowing that this had to be intentional: its absence speaks to the desire to keep their story unknown and suspended. In other words, it’s a way to keep their dynamic relevant for the next two years. It also solidifies the fact that the romance of Reylo will continue to be quite distinct from the sudden war time passion of HanLeia or the childishly baffling obsession of Anidala, just in case that wasn’t already obvious.

I’ve come to the conclusion that, much like the TFA novelization, this one could be skipped over in lieu of actually watching the movie, which is A) way more exciting and B) way more successful at the nuance, which was one of its strengths. Of course, we should also remember that whatever happens in the film is unquestionably canon, regardless of conflicting details in the expanded content. There’s cute little Easter egg-type details (ships have personalities, for example) and passages not seen in the movie that Reylos created head-canons for anyway (such as why Rey left an unconscious Kylo alive). Overall, this novel is about as good as one could expect from someone other than Rian Johnson himself adapting his own script. But that’s to be expected, and this must have been a great challenge. I do think what this book best has to offer is a reiteration of the theme of perspective ambiguity.

Alright, that’s done. Now, I’m going to revisit an Episode IX speculation post I did (X) in December, because I read quite a few quotes in the novelization that were particularly relevant to what I speculated on for Hux, Kylo, and the foreshadowing of a power play between them.

Take Hux Seriously

What I said:

Hux was played up for comedic effect in TLJ, but it’s somewhat undermined by examples of real leadership, engagement with fellow, high-ranking FO officers, and the distinct feeling that this man is more cunning than you think. That’s not to say that Hux will hit epic levels of villainy; but he will most assuredly continue to be an antagonist to Kylo and, with Snoke’s murder, he will now have a justified reason for being so.

What the novelization said:

Commander of the Supremacy would be an excellent title…surpassed only by that of Supreme Leader Hux. Hux almost whispered those three words to himself, but caught himself in time. Snoke had spies everywhere in the First Order—including, quite possibly, electronic ones in the turbolift leading to his private domain at the Supremacy’s heart.

Comments

First of all, here is written proof of Hux’s lofty, ultimate ambitions. (Again, in case that wasn’t obvious in the film.) Second, we also now have the knowledge that Snoke takes advantage of stealth security. The reason that it’s “possible” he has cameras installed in his private elevator is because he makes use of “electronic spies” elsewhere. This begs the question: if something as innocuous as an elevator is bugged, then surely his throne room, his private room, is similarly outfitted, right?

There’s no way Kylo will be able to keep the truth of his ascension a secret. No way.

Dirt for a Smear Campaign

What I said:

Aside from the fact that he’s basically in charge of the FO military, Hux could go after Kylo with a smear campaign by revealing his true identity. Of course, this hinges on whether the galaxy at large knows that Kylo Ren of the First Order is Ben Solo, son of rebel Generals Leia Organa and Han Solo. Evidence points to the negative:

-Poe seems unaware of Kylo’s relation to his revered general, both in TFA and TLJ -Han and Leia speak about Ben in a hushed, private conversation in TFA; they never speak his name aloud (though mostly, of course, to withhold information for dramatic effect) -barely anyone in the FO is shown wanting to make eye contact with Kylo Ren; I doubt they know anything personal about him -Finn clearly has no idea

What the novelization said:

Poe studied the two figures standing in front of the command shuttle for a long moment. “This isn’t just a family reunion,” he told the remaining Resistance fighters. “Skywalker’s doing this for a reason. He’s stalling so we can escape.”

“Escape?” Finn asked, incredulous. “He’s one man against an army. We have to go help him! We have to fight!”

Leia joined them, trailed as always by C-3PO. She and Poe exchanged glances.

“No,” Poe said. “We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn down the First Order.”

Had some member of the Resistance opted to commit suicide in dramatic fashion? Amused, he glanced over at Ren—and whatever he had been going to say died on his lips. Because the new Supreme Leader looked like he was staring down at a ghost.

Comments

Because there is no written shock or surprise from the Resistance fighters after Poe’s statement, this means that Kylo’s relationship to Leia is actually common knowledge, at least among her ranks. The subsequent lines with Leia and Finn further demonstrate how inconsequential this information is: Leia isn’t currently trying to hide it, nor has she in the past evidently. After the events in Bloodline, maybe she decided not to hide her truths from her colleagues and close allies again.

Hux, on the other hand, can’t even identify Luke Skywalker let alone understand why Kylo is so shaken by his appearance. That Finn is more “incredulous” at Poe’s deduction about Luke than he is about Poe’s reference to Luke’s family connections means the latter is not a surprise to him either. So, how could a Stormtrooper know that Kylo is a Skywalker yet the high-ranking FO officer who reinvigorated the Stormtrooper program doesn’t? A reasonable answer is that Finn learned about it at some point in TFA before Starkiller Base.

However, Leia’s close comrades knowing about her son doesn’t necessarily mean that the galaxy at large knows. Otherwise, how could Hux not know? To be fair, I don’t know how she contained that information from ruthless politicians and prevented it from becoming a weapon against her for a second time. But I guess Leia figured it out.

No Fit Leader

What I said:

Only consider how badly a secret identity, one with close ties to the enemy, would threaten Kylo’s position within the FO:

“Kylo Ren is a New Republic and Resistance sympathizer, a double agent and traitor! He is the son of rebel scum, but not just any dirty rebel: he’s the son of Leia Organa, the most dogged enemy of the Empire and First Order! At her behest, he aided and abetted a Jedi in the assassination of Supreme Leader Snoke, and then allowed her to escape! He has seized power in order to restore the Republic!”

Kylo’s visible instability on Crait could only have made a poor impression on the FO military, hitherto shown to be highly ordered and rigidly structured, if nothing else. And I’m not just talking about his gross waste of FO resources for, what, 40 rebels in a crumbling base, but also on a single man who turned out to be, well, a freaking wizard! Imagine following someone like that, putting your trust and loyalty into someone so obviously unhinged and undone?

What the novelization said:

Hux looked at Ren’s face and saw terror—naked and undisguised. That fear meant weakness—and opportunity.

The First Order had thrived despite Snoke’s weakness for mystical nonsense, but that was because Snoke had kept himself largely shrouded from view, letting his directives speak for him. Ren had never been so wise. He was incapable of it—a slave to his emotions. That wouldn’t do in a Supreme Leader. It would endanger all Hux and his technologists had created. Well, Hux wouldn’t allow that. And the more delusions Ren suffered, the easier it would be to arrange for him to be sidelined and eliminated.

Comments

Hux is providing commentary on the fact that the First Order will not accept Kylo; a fearful, uncertain leader is no fit leader. Futhermore, Kylo is trained in Jedi and Sith ways—“sorcerery” as Hux (and undoubted others) constantly calls Force powers. After the forthcoming, highly visible display of “sorcerers’” ways, no wonder Hux feels confident in his position; in contrast to Kylo’s horrid display, Snoke had maintained his “man behind the curtain” persona and in that way was able to gather and consolidate power. In a one-on-one situation, Hux could never overpower Kylo. That’s never been questioned. So, this is where Hux’s strategic cunning comes into play, along with the implied camera recordings, which could include recordings that reveal Kylo’s true identity as the last Skywalker, especially now that Snoke is not alive to prevent someone from snooping through his (likely) throne room security footage.

One thing to note is that the novelization does not mention the ^Look^ Hux gives Kylo in the abandoned Crait base. In the book, Hux is not even apparently part of the landing party. One could argue, then, that all of this time spent on Hux and his ambition are for the express purpose of explaining the meaning behind that Look. It is evidence that is not so much foreshadowing as it is confirming.

Fugitive Life

What I said:

Hux may initiate an arrest or even an assassination, which Kylo escapes. After his escape, Hux puts out the smear campaign as well as a bounty, making Kylo a wanted fugitive of the FO. As a fugitive, I think the second half of the movie will find Kylo on his journey to self-discovery and self-reconciliation. It would also be an opportunity to visit different worlds within the Star Wars galaxy, some so far removed from the political feuding that Kylo will be able to find that inner peace and resolve he needs.

What the novelization said:

Finn had dreamed of convincing her to join him somewhere in the wilds of the Outer Rim, where the First Order could never find them. The First Order would never stop hunting the Resistance until it was destroyed, but two fugitives might have a chance to escape its notice and create a life for themselves on some quiet backwater world.

Comments

OK, yes, I’m using Finn’s wishful thinking to support my own fugitive Kylo theory. It applies very well to Finn’s story arc and his habit of dealing with the FO by running away from it. But I think it could be taken as foreshadowing for Kylo as well, because one of the main concerns about Kylo’s redemption revolves around atonement. People have suggested exile (one I personally find regressive) and death, of course. Kylo’s been running from his past, like Finn, But he actually needs to run from the ideologies that have smothered him his whole life and come into his own, as Finn did.

Final Comments

Going back to what I said at the top of this post—about the novelization doing a decent job of underscoring perspective ambiguity—here’s what I mean:

Yago would endure Hux just as Peavey had—because both men knew the general wouldn’t last. He would undoubtedly succeed at destroying the remnants of the Resistance, and bask in the glory of that accomplishment for a time. But then the real challenges would begin. […] And sooner or later, Hux would be undone, revealed as an incompetent officer and an intemperate leader. […] Hux was a revolutionary, full of fire and fervor, but revolutionaries’ seasons were fleeting.

I was pretty naïve about how his comrades in arms feel about him. For all the confidence Hux has in himself, apparently his fellow officers lack faith in him. Like Yago and Peavey (the officer shown to be at Hux’s right hand in the film), the veteran Captain Canady of the Dreadnought Fulminatrix is similarly disdainful of Hux and the other young people around him. None of these officers seem to have faith in the younger generation, which represents the future, and that implies that the veterans might not have much hope for the future of their cause. Will this result in in-fighting?

It seems more than likely that Episode IX will highlight the ideological war because, as things stand, it lacks a clear cut Big Bad; we thought Snoke would be this trilogy’s Big Bad to the Emperor’s OT Big Bad. Keep in mind that the New Republic (the good side) is virtually gone, blown out of the galaxy. If there is in-fighting or mutinies within the fledgling FO (the evil side), whose leadership was so recently destroyed and quickly usurped by an unstable “sorcerer”, then might the FO simply destroy itself? Will the galaxy then be free to re-start, in a way? Or is that too simple? Sometimes, the answers to complicated questions are simple.

And speaking of that “sorcerer”, the perspective ambiguity rears its head again:

And then there was his most glaring failure of all: his inability or unwillingness to use his power to redirect the course of his own destiny.

Rey had learned that the Force was not her instrument—that, in fact, it was the other way around. Just as Kylo was its instrument, despite his determination to bend it to his will. He would learn that one day, she sensed—the Force wasn’t finished with him.

I mean, what is up, what is down?

In the beginning of the novel, Snoke knows that Kylo has an “inability” or “unwillingness” to use his power to control his destiny. At the end, Rey believes Kylo is “determined” to use his power to control the Force. There’s an arc here—Rian Johnson’s comment about Kylo “the villain, standing on his own two feet at the end” comes to mind (X). You might think this sounds ominous for the hope that Ben Solo will be redeemed. But, in the movie, we left him downcast on the floor of an abandoned base and now, in the novel, Rey’s addendum, her sense that Kylo will someday recognize himself as an instrument of the Force, almost blatantly foreshadows Ben Solo’s redemption.

Which is the big roundabout way of me saying that this novelization isn’t a complete waste of trees.

#reylo #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #armitage hux #tlj novelization #star wars episode ix #episode ix speculation #save ben solo #redemption meta

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estrellamientos · 6 years

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Damnum Ferre ch.1

So I mentioned on @canon-typical-violence that the first chapter of this fic exists.

Their first civil conversation afterward is held at blaster- and sword-point, respectively. The second one goes worse.

Hux passed through conscious shakiness or disorientation some hours ago; he has long been worn down to what feels like two-dimensional nothingness but lacks the smoothness to be glass. Glassy calm he knows well, and fury like the flat of a good blade (his own, for instance), and this is neither. He’s something depthless and empty and abraded, lacking the wherewithal to find itself repulsive.

There are marginal advantages to this. For example, while he would normally take a running inventory of pain before moving on to not allowing it to affect him, Hux currently can’t manage to keep a listing of the damage in his head. This applies to all of the damage at hand, admittedly, but tabulations of what matters can be written down just as this is disregarded. He works easily through the due diligence of sacking the erstwhile Resistance base for all the nothing it has to provide, at any rate, and through their own forces’ withdrawal. He does not think about pursuit at this time, the way he does not think about the common features between one breath and the next.

It is not that he has ever forgotten the taste of blood, particularly his own, but that it is staying in his mouth beyond all reason, currently. This is odd. Psychosomatic, he presumes, unless he’s managed enough reverting to old bad habits to tear the lining of his throat. Irrelevant, at any rate, as in he will not permit it to become relevant. He does not stop.

By the time Hux can in good conscience return to the *Finalizer* he feels like Crait’s sanded off the surface of his skin the way it seems to have grated the contours of his mind. Not that anything hurts, save when he breathes. Merely that he seems to be lacking things he shouldn’t need to lack: edges, definition, grip; the ability to meaningfully distinguish stimuli that are himself from those that are not.

It does not notably impair his functioning, at least not to a degree that is intolerable; however, that is given the fact that the scale for said range of tolerance is currently a quietly horrible study in adaptation all its own.

Hux watches over the buzz of busy misery that surrounds him, not least because it wouldn’t do for him not to be tracking it, but he does not issue reprimands for individual acts of incompetence. None are irreparable—in fact (he may feel toward this later, should he remember to) people recover remarkably well, it’s merely the density of casual mistakes to recover from—and the apparent widespread agitated despair is too universal to selectively punish. Selection of particular actors would be unproductive even as examples to the rest. The solution, whatever it is, lies beyond mere individuals.

Beyond most individuals, anyway.

He knows better than to keep his distance from Kylo Ren now but Hux finds himself doing so anyway, at least for the duration before there’s a ship solid under his feet again. It is a somewhat pathetically short span of time, he realizes later, for all that it seems to stretch infinitely while he’s within it.

Ren allows the search and the withdrawal (Hux sternly does not call it a retreat; therefore neither does anyone else) to happen without any incident significant enough for people to bring to Hux’s attention. This is an acceptable state of affairs, though perhaps only in the way that inevitable things must be.

He waits, then, until he can corner Ren, and does not delude himself that Ren doesn’t know he is being cornered, in the particular manner that passes with little effort for drawing him aside into an unremarkable and vacant mid-level meeting room Hux knows the template for better than his own bare hand. There is a casually risible normalcy to it, of table and chairs and blank walls lacking sufficient importance to merit a viewport. If the lights were on it could be anywhere in spacetime after the first _Resurgent_ launched.

Hux does have his blaster ready, this time.

(Armitage Hux’s gift is preparation in advance; likewise his curse. He is, however, not in the habit of making the same mistake twice.)

“I don’t know if you can stop a shot from this distance,” Hux says. His teeth still taste like blood, so mildly there’s the impression of it being just the natural state of things at this point. It feels almost more like a faculty of the air, especially given how dry his mouth is. “I don’t know if you do either. I *do* know—” Know what? Not what Ren’s willing to risk on the subject, beyond that it’s enough to have walked in front of Hux without complaint. For all Hux knows Ren wants to die outright. It’s as close to a working theory of what he’s been witnessing as any. “You killed Snoke.”

Ren turns to face him, slow, easy. This is in no way outside what Hux went in expecting, when Ren let himself be steered to leave his back open so easily as to be outright consent, when the door reformed behind them. Ren is an egotistical, hubristic idiot, but he is not dead.

Neither of them bother with light, and the ship is running on her mildest level of power conservation. It’s a preventative measure, while they determine how much damage there is for the unscathed and the functional to make up for, for how long. The trace available illumination is sufficient, both for this conversation and for operations throughout. What light there is collects in Ren’s eyes and, when he speaks, shows on his teeth.

“Do you now,” he says, his voice rough as well; from salt, presumably, and from screaming. Ren fumbles some of the emotional coordination he’d need to achieve a noteworthy level of cruelty, but Hux notes the symbolic effort of it as a matter of record.

The problem with standing close enough to Ren to not be backed against door or wall while promising a shot in the spine—or, now, the gut—is that Hux can’t evaluate him as a whole threat. He simply doesn’t have the needed width in terms of viewing angles. As such he has to choose: he can watch Ren’s face, like a man who is having a conversation.

Or he can watch Ren’s hands, like a frightened animal, and feel it in his neck.

Hux has considered before, generally in the context of early childhood education (and, more prosaically, particularly while illuminating others on why they have forfeited any right to tell him their opinions on early childhood education), how much of the distinction between sentients and subsentients can be demonstrated by way of death. A subsentient animal has no meaningful understanding, fear, or anticipation of its own demise. It cannot develop a conception of its inevitability in general, nor a particular preference between facing an oncoming death and looking away before the moment of impact. Nor can it act on such a preference—or against it—were it to somehow internalize one anyway.

Confrontation, cowardice, and the rest of that family of emotions are a sentient prerogative. This is naturally relevant at even the lowest levels of human acculturation, for reasons that should be patently obvious and yet still forced Hux into *years* of mere parodies of would-be academic debate.

He’s sure Ren would have an opinion on the subject, if prompted, for Hux to be irritated by, were he to be given the opportunity. If he hasn’t developed it, Hux is resigned to confidence in Ren’s ability to determine one on the spot. Ren, as a murderer and a telepath, is uniquely disposed to potential usefulness with regards to analysis by the living of the experience of death in general; it is Ren *himself* who would make the effort useless at best. He is an unreliable witness consistently more interested in finding ways to make himself an obstacle than in relevance or truth. That Hux has never had that *particular* debate with Ren does not change the fact that he knows this.

When Ren’s arm moves too fast and fluid to bother with, when his lightsaber hums to life at the corner of Hux’s eye, Hux does not particularly react. He flinches on some level, and he feels it on his face, but it’s doubtlessly both unimpressive and unimpressed: more a microexpression with delusions of grandeur than anything else. His blaster stays perpetually steady.

“Of course I know, Ren.” Hux couldn’t keep the tiredness from his voice to save his life; as such he doesn’t try. “I know everything.”

Ren does something like laugh, like he thinks the lie is for his benefit: short, barking, not quite wild. His features don’t reach wildness either, merely managing to reach *for* it, even with the advantage of drinking in flickering red plasma light as an intensifier. There is remarkably little of him left, all told, if only the excisions were relevant or permanent. In both of their cases the net effect is not dissimilar to the feeling invoked by surveying the wreck of the *Supremacy*: the vast majority still usable, patently alive, objectively a unique threat and enduring achievement, yet stripped of menace despite largely retaining its function. “No you don’t,” Ren says. Staring at him, and not swinging, like he thinks he’s managing to say something else.

“I know you’re hopelessly outmatched,” Hux answers, dry in both form and function. His own tongue slows him down, sticking to the roof of his mouth.

“By *what*?” Ren snaps, but the rage makes no travel down his sword arm; Hux only realizes belatedly that it could’ve. The matter didn’t cross his mind for—many reasons, but not least among them is the fact that neither of them are looking at their weapons at all. The hum of Ren’s saber this nearby sounds positively faulty, though Hux lacks enough experience with simple uses of kyber to know from that how much of it is due to flaws of the crystal or of the housing, or of the character of lightsabers more generally. “Organa has *nothing*,” Ren’s going on, making a solid effort at passion, his voice snagging roughly on itself, “and the girl is—”

“Irrelevant,” Hux says. Ren lets him. (Hux, for his part, lets that carry him away; it doesn’t occur to him not to.) “They are currently irrelevant. You’re outmatched by yourself. You are on track to burn down everything of value in this galaxy and, presumably, should you continue to—to miraculously survive your mistakes otherwise, in the next.”

“I should kill you for that,” Ren halfway growls, making no effort to do so. Something of the ambient loss gives the ludicrous impression that the idea is new to him.

Hux holds his gaze accordingly. “You should,” he says. His own voice runs more placid about it than he’d expected. “And you won’t.”

“Really.” Ren is trying; this is noticeable; it’s why he fails. He’s never been able to be the threat he ought to be in mere conversation, Hux has found. It’s not surprising that what serves him in power and menace on the battlefield isn’t recaptured into a static exchange merely by the presence of the sword that represents it.

If it were just Ren’s lethality in question, that aspect of him would never go missing; he is self-evidently a weapon more obviously than he is a man. But Ren doesn’t work as a sustained, present ultimatum any more than a lightning strike could, and his lightsaber is fixing to give Hux a headache.

“So why not just shoot me, General? You remembered a gun this time.”

It’s surprising that Ren’s aware, even that much, of what went through Hux’s mind in the throne room. Barely less so, come to think, that he didn’t contest being assigned Snoke’s death at all. Hux says, “I’ve no great interest in dying, Ren.” Pointedly.

“Then what’s this *about*?” Ren’s lip pulls back from his teeth; Hux can’t tell if the line of brutal light at his side shifts with a tremor of the blade or just with Hux’s own blinking, gaze too fixed on the fire that paints Ren’s face. “You’re right, I should j—”

“I am invested in my continued survival and that of the Order,” Hux cuts in. He does not have to try hard at all *to* make it cutting, an accusation of a contrast worth noting out loud. This is the only reason he manages to do it, the same way he manages this conversation’s fixed tableau largely through the kind of even immobile calm that can only come from holding a blaster steady. “And my assessment of your inevitable, *contagious*, and self-inflicted ruin—” It awes him to see Ren take even that with merely a twitch, which is why Hux keeps going. He’ll rationalize it into a test later. It is not a test now. “—was dependent on you taking up the mantle that would destroy you *alone*.”

“So you should—“ Ren shakes himself for a second, from the neck up only. It completely ruins any authority or composure acquired by rephrasing. The central problem being, of course, that he doesn’t need it. “No. You *will* help me.”

Hux will deny, later, to himself, that he then spends a second imagining saying no. It rips through him anyway; it is unexpected; it is wholly unmanageable. Left to his own devices Ren is in fact sure to drive the Order into the ground. It will splinter faster and with less hope of salvage than any Republican dream. And, curiously—given Hux doesn’t think he would’ve made this assessment a week ago—he thinks Ren really would even know it was his own fault. Maybe even entirely.

For a second he imagines that: Saying no. (Leaning into the saber blade he won’t deign to look at, even, before Ren thought to do something more elaborate. There’s something seductive about the furious plasma at the corner of his eye, a manner of drawing him in of a vertigo-like genre with the kind of hubris at which Hux succeeds as much as with flight at which the human body fails.) Turning the entire conversation into one last spiteful feint. Letting Ren, for the first time in his life, experience the consequences of his actions.

He imagines the consequences themselves by the end of the beat, though. What it actually means—anathema—for the Order to fall. (And for Hux, were he to do otherwise and survive to see it, a neo-Republican execution; even if they end the war with enough collaborators to form a jury he can’t imagine anyone would waste the time.)

Hux thinks of Rae Sloane wearing the blood on her uniform like rank insignia; of the first flash of certainty of knowing that his father was not the Empire, that his father was a disgrace.

Snoke was not the First Order. Hux is not the First Order. Even the millions dead today were not the First Order. And Ren *certainly* isn’t.

He’ll give Ren nothing else aside from this pause: let the man know Hux still had to think if he has to, if he’s even equipped to notice, but Hux offers no change of expression, no resigned or irritated breath. He wouldn't be standing here if in the end he didn't know already exactly how this story goes.

Clipped and atemporal, the words as at home in his mouth now as they would have been five days or months or years ago, he says, “Of course, Supreme Leader. What do you need?”

At that Ren still stares at him, oddly slow to adapt. “I’d be more convinced you mean that,” he says, “if you weren’t still pointing a blaster at me.”

The corner of Hux’s mouth twitches quickly, to an extent that may or may not be visible. “Naturally,” he says, already thumbing the safety back on. Shifting his gaze isn’t necessary for that, nor for holstering it, although he knows immediately that keeping the conversation up to standards is about to get vastly more uncomfortable. He expects mistakes, as such, like breathing. “Sir?”

“Incredible.” Ren’s voice is flat in a way that makes the Republican in him positively blare with it.

It’s harder to read his face once his saber retracts, but the last relatively detailed look Hux gets gives him the odd impression Ren reciprocating on the armistice has happened without his conscious assent. The surprise seems too deep and fundamental to merely be a (honestly unmerited) reaction to Hux himself.

Ren takes a step back as he returns his saber to his belt, spending the rest of the distance between himself and the room’s normalcy to the point that he almost walks into the table, the motions far less polished. “So this is a truce?”

“Truces are for enemies, Ren,” Hux says. Ren looks at him for long enough that Hux’s eyes readjust in the interim, so perhaps it was the wrong thing to say. Certainly Hux has pushed further and in more directions than he’d at any point intended, egged on by every time Ren let him. Presuming Ren’s not about to change his mind about that and snap Hux’s neck, he’ll have to reassess. For now, in order to watch Ren blink at it more than anything else, Hux pitches his voice away to add, “Lights to fifty percent.”

Fifty percent lighting on even slight ship-wide energy austerity is entirely forgiving; he catches Ren’s face on the end of the reflexive blink that lets him, too, school himself accordingly. “Right,” Ren says. “Enemies.” He sounds not sarcastic as much as like he was recently made aware of the idea of sarcasm and is still forming a conclusion on it. “So what do *we* need, General?”

Hux shifts into parade rest; he even allows his spine to have an opinion on doing so, briefly, before he dismisses it. “We need to know where we stand,” he says, wonders idly if Ren finds a double meaning in it. Then he immediately gets carried away again. “The majority of the dedicated fleet is intact but a full survey of the damage will take time. A full survey of the death toll will take longer. The rest of our forces are largely dispatched on the frontlines of invasions of what had been selected as vulnerable targets prior t—” Prior to Starkiller. Hux swallows the mourning viciously and clears his throat after. “We can expect them to begin reporting back soon if they haven’t already, and that will give us a better picture of what we have to work with for recovery. For now I r—”

Ren raises his hand and Hux stills. He stills *immediately*, giving the lie to his own performance, stopping so fast he feels his pharynx click. All Ren does with this, though, is to scrub his hand over his face; the other finds the small conference table he’d not quite backed himself against and leans slightly on it. Hux understands the impulse on both counts, but it does Ren no favors. He doesn’t need them; this continues to be the problem.

(He will. Will he know?)

“Better question,” Ren says after a moment, his tone an oddly fragile tangle of resignation and embarrassment. “Now that you’re committed to not shooting me if I do, does anyone need *me*, or can I—can I get some sleep.”

The tiredness in Ren’s voice scrapes along Hux’s own bones, which is overall unsurprising. Beyond the obvious of their recent exertions, even Hux’s rudimentary understanding of the Force indicates it must require some manner of energy tax from its practitioners. He blinks, though, waylaid enough in thought to answer on a slide further into autopilot prompted by the obvious mistake of it, like Ren’s an errant subadult or some uppity commander. “Even under crisis a significant disruption of sleep/wake cycles is a choice of last resort,” he says on blank didactic reflex. “And even for essential crew. The alleged gain in having *any* given person present can only be weighted against the cost of their absence after considering that loss of function from sleep deprivation is immediate, punishing, and progressive, as well as compounding on itself. The idea carries the same wretched cost-benefit ratio as returning injured soldiers to the field when others are available. A—”

Ren is staring at him. Differently, this time, the emotion gap produced by the drop-off in threat filled with Hux’s own belated humiliation.

Hux bites his lips savagely, resigned to the certainty that his face is coloring with embarrassment. Those debates had taken *ages*, immediate practical relevance making them worse and more protracted than the issue of death, back when Order command had been laboring under an even worse infection of old Imperials spoiled by upbringings where they’d had lives to underexploit—even to waste—than it currently is. So much of Hux’s life takes place in contexts where he can better things by explaining them that the reflex endures long after he’s lost his grasp on common sense.

(The only thing that curtails it is certainty of lack of *understanding*—that is, a guarantee of failure—and Ren is not Snoke. Of course that has disarmed him.)

“My apologies,” he chokes out. “Habit. There were—arguments. For a long time. About establishing priorities, by people who didn’t *recognize*—” Hux strangles his own voice again before Ren can, though at this point he’d probably welcome it as help, before realizing at last why he’s actually doing this.

Because Ren just blithely handed Hux permission to tell Ren to hurt himself and all but promised he would do it in the asking, and Hux still needs to tell him no. The good thing is Hux knew to talk himself out of doing otherwise before he even recognized the option. The bad thing is that the managing of it is so hard Hux has to spend his own dignity on necessity and do so out loud.

“We don’t,” Hux says, still drawn inexorably to take the long way of it, more so knowing now he’s hit on something Ren is crushingly, subhumanly inept with, to an extent Hux can’t yet so much as model. The realization that both the down payment on Hux’s continued survival and the delayed cost of him making it this far will have to be fixing Ren to at least manage to fake it, and the prospect of in *any* way *fixing Kylo Ren* is—”We don’t hurt our own unless it is necessary for the advancement of the First Order. And recovery efforts are already in motion. Yes.”

“An actual answer, Hux.” Ren is still staring: nakedly, some kind of upset Hux isn’t going to further disambiguate for as long as he can afford to read Ren as not planning on lashing out with it. For now Ren looks merely like an impending implosion, and Hux can not care. Any extent to which this manages to penetrate far enough to be refreshing is annulled when Ren remembers his own rank, though, even slightly. “And then you’re dismissed.”

Shifting to an actually pertinent routine distracts Hux from the knowledge of his off-script failures as much as anything could. Ren may not appear disposed to push on any of those fault lines currently, all the fight gone out of him with the decision that Hux doesn’t merit fighting, but Hux’s mind will surely pick up the slack. He nods sharply. “Sir.” Thinks before he speaks, this time. *Not* about the open wounds of the present, or about the other questions Ren has opened, unintentionally and in great density, thus far. “It’s… in everyone’s interest that you rest, frankly. We can reconvene when—”

*When we’ve both recovered somewhat,* he almost says. Hux himself isn’t sure quite why he opts to kill the sentence so viciously instead. It’s not too gentle on Ren; aggravating him further now has ceased to be useful. It’s not irrelevant; it is the strict description of his concern at hand. It’s not impossible; Hux can’t afford not to recover.

What, then?

“Right,” Ren says, into that emptiness, after a moment. “All right.”

The way his eyes fall shut seems more than anything like the action of gravity on a great and inert weight (seems like Hux has ceased to exist), not like the function of a mere human body, such that Hux can’t find him pathetic quickly enough to be affected. Instead he’s seized with the nonsensical urge to ask if Ren plans on falling asleep here, on his feet, in a mid-level conference room. Strictly speaking, as far as Ren’s poor decisions go, something that *human* is unlikely to be beyond him.

Hux leaves, instead, exactly as requested and without another word. Quickly, as well; it is somehow even more uncomfortable than being watched by Ren *not* to be. He is aware of no gaze on his turning back, not even of the air-pressure shift he has gathered is the Force as metaphor made real actor.

It’s not that Hux’s sense of such things has ever been inerrant, or even reliable; it is, instead, exactly enough to make him wonder, and nothing more.

He does hope that Ren has the sense to drag himself off and actually rest. It happens almost in spite of himself. Hux can recognize, regardless of the quickly-ignored opinions of his individual bones, that this has been brutal for Ren as well, because it has been brutal for everyone, to varying degrees.

Ren will be more bearable when he is more effective. At worst, when he inevitably gets in Hux’s way, that will enable Hux to act with the confidence that Ren meant to and proceed accordingly. At best…

Who knows? Hux thinks, so suddenly that for a moment it drags him almost to a stop. Who would know? Who has *seen* it? At Ren’s best—

Maybe he’ll even be useful.

#a callout post of my own constant awareness of the human pharynx? me? never #hey tumblr i’d love to cut this ya fuck #chapter finished #wip #fic: damnum ferre #sfw #general hux #kylo ren #star wars #post-tlj #narrator: hux #have you seen these two assholes??#ch: hux #ch: ren

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maswartz · 6 years

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Bernie Sanders suffers from Great Man syndrome. It afflicts all white men, some worse than others and it can’t be cured. In Bernie world Hillary’s popularity was only “because she was a woman.” Bernie’s followers lap up this hogwash because they don’t know any better, because they too have been conditioned to believe what the Great Man says no matter what. But Hillary, of course, was speaking up for the Obama coalition, that was black mothers of shooting victims (she was criticized for this, of course), women and children all over the world and here in the US (and criticized for this). She offered practical solutions to difficult problems that were actually workable. She didn’t make false promises like a false prophet, like a god. Hillary had a great plan for dealing with college debt, and wanted to extend and improve the Affordable Care Act. Hillary actually knew she could do the job well but like so many of us women know, not only aren’t we trusted to do the job, no one believes we CAN do the job.

I’m sorry that Bernie said what he said about Hillary and women. It fed into the warped frenzy of misogyny that overtook his so-called revolution. He still thinks, and his followers think, that he would have beaten Trump. He couldn’t even win in the primary. There was no rigging, there was no collusion. She won four million more votes that he did. The people chose HER and not him. All Bernie did was help Trump win. He knows this, which is why he’s now on a desperate speaking tour to not become Ralph Nader in he public’s eyes. Blame Hillary, blame the democrats. Do anything BUT blame Bernie. And Bernie is exactly who deserves much of the blame for what he’s done, what he is still doing, to ensure the democrats lose and lose again in four years.

Would Bernie have beaten Trump? The answer is no one can say for sure but I would guess that absolutely no, he could not have. Here are the reasons why.

But first, you might be inclined to say, “we’re fighting a fascist, why aren’t we uniting against Trump?” he reason is that we can’t unite because we are deeply and sharply divided still. 2.5 million more votes than Trump is what Hillary Clinton will have had by the end of the election. He won but just barely. He won the electoral college by going after the Bernie voters and counting on third party voters to sabotage Hillary’s lead and it worked. Bernie Sanders must take responsibility for his part in this or there will be no moving forward. You can’t lie to people when the evidence is right in front of them.

Historically speaking, this election was always the Republican’s to lose. The pendulum swing of American election cycles is maddeningly predictable: Both parties find it hard to hold onto the White House for more than 2 terms in a row. Reagan did it. But he’s really the only one in recent history. JFK and FDR both died in office and that’s the only way we ever got a successor elected, since the 1800s. We had one shot to win for the Democrats and that was to make the case that the last eight years were working for Americans, that Obama’s policies and presidency had been a success, and that we wanted four more years to finish what he had started, to overcome the obstructionist roadblocks, and buttress the Obama legacy with a Supreme Court that would work to uphold his great strides. But Bernie Sanders ran a campaign as a newly minted Democrat against the Democrats! With that reckless miscalculation, he lost this election for himself and for Hillary before it even started. His entire campaign became a beta test commercial for Trump’s candidacy, as Trump noted which Hillary attacks had traction and adopted every single talking point (minus the free college and free healthcare) that Bernie had hammered her with. Bernie helped Trump immeasurably. Bernie knew could not have beaten Trump unless he’d been Obama’s chosen successor and be handed the baton to continue Obama’s policies. Since that wasn’t happening, Bernie’s only option was to tell voters that nothing about the past two terms was good enough for the American people. He made that case that the Democrats had fallen short. A ridiculous claim, but several thousand people in key states fell for it. Sure, after he lost the nomination Bernie tried to change horses mid-stream but it never really worked for him. By then, he had convinced a few million voters in his flock that Hillary was too corrupt to deserve their vote. 3 or 4 million of his most fervid supporters could never snap out of their brainwashing. If anything, some felt doubly betrayed, and many of them turned on Bernie, called him a “sellout” when got behind Hillary.

The Republicans had major opposition research ready to launch on Bernie Sanders that would have made his numbers drop quickly significantly in the polls. But Bernie was never attacked by Hillary’s team, nor by the GOP. Ask yourself why and the reason is obvious. The GOP wanted to run against Bernie. They knew they had far more volatile stuff to dump on him that the whimpering “emails, emails, emails” chant that had lost all its pizazz. Their strategy was to leave Bernie alone because the better Bernie looked, the worse Hillary looked. Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald laid out some of that oppo research and this is what he found:

Here are a few tastes of what was in store for Sanders, straight out of the Republican playbook: He thinks rape is A-OK. In 1972, when he was 31, Sanders wrote a fictitious essay in which he described a woman enjoying being raped by three men. Yes, there is an explanation for it — a long, complicated one, just like the one that would make clear why the Clinton emails story was nonsense. And we all know how well that worked out.

Then there’s the fact that Sanders was on unemployment until his mid-30s, and that he stole electricity from a neighbor after failing to pay his bills, and that he co-sponsored a bill to ship Vermont’s nuclear waste to a poor Hispanic community in Texas, where it could be dumped. You can just see the words “environmental racist” on Republican billboards. And if you can’t, I already did. They were in the Republican opposition research book as a proposal on how to frame the nuclear waste issue.

Also on the list: Sanders violated campaign finance laws, criticized Clinton for supporting the 1994 crime bill that he voted for, and he voted against the Amber Alert system. His pitch for universal health care would have been used against him too, since it was tried in his home state of Vermont and collapsed due to excessive costs. Worst of all, the Republicans also had video of Sanders at a 1985 rally thrown by the leftist Sandinista government in Nicaragua where half a million people chanted, “Here, there, everywhere/the Yankee will die,’’ while President Daniel Ortega condemned “state terrorism” by America. Sanders said, on camera, supporting the Sandinistas was “patriotic.”

The Republicans had at least four other damning Sanders videos (I don’t know what they showed), and the opposition research folder was almost 2-feet thick. (The section calling him a communist with connections to Castro alone would have cost him Florida.) In other words, the belief that Sanders would have walked into the White House based on polls taken before anyone reallyattacked him is a delusion built on a scaffolding of political ignorance.

Unfortunately, Sanders supporters think he’s god-like and thus, they rely solely on those inflated poll numbers. Nate Silver would tell them that you can’t really trust polls until you’ve seen the candidate “punched” completely by the opposition party. Silver thinks now it was a mistake for Hillary not to attack him because now no one will ever believe he could have been attacked the way she has been for decades. To them, Hillary had it coming but the truth is Bernie has never been considered a threat enough TO ATTACK in the first place.

3. Bernie is Jewish (as am I in case you want to start blamesplaining). He’s a socialist. And he’s an atheist. Do I need to explain this one? Obama might have been black but he was Christian. A man of faith. And though he was accused of being a socialist he is not. Bernie actually is! Has always been a socialist, bragged about being one, has expressed an affinity for Fidel Castro on video, and hates the Democratic party for not being leftist enough. The Jewish part is a touchy subject, but we have to be realistic about the American “heartland.” Is flyover America ready for a Jew in the White House? Let’s ask Joe Lieberman. Or how about ask voters in 40 states who have never sent a Jewish senator to Washington D.C. Ever. 40 states. Never Elected. A Jewish Senator. In 230 years. Are Ohio, North Carolina, Florida, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, suddenly ready to see a Jew in the Oval Office? I do not believe they are. Not in the America that just elected Donald Trump. They aren’t even ready for a woman. The Bernie people don’t seem to know this other half of America exists. To Bernie and his supporters all those people who just voted for Trump are did so because Bernie wasn’t on the ballot. Seriously, that’s what they think.

4. Bernie Sanders promised to raise taxes on just about everyone, even a small amount on the middle class. If you think any politician can win a national election by saying they are going to raise taxes on the middle class, you have another think coming. Yes, Bernie’s ideas on trade, and certainly on the climate, are appealing to most but his platform was predicated on making the government pay for everything. When you put together his own history of never having a job for his first 30 years as an adult, never really earning a paycheck that wasn’t from the government, you can fill out the bubbles from there, right? You can visualize the Republican TV ads, yes? Please tell me you can.

5. He couldn’t win the primary. In the Land of Nod , the sad fable is that Bernie was cheated by the DNC. That’s what the Republicans wanted the Berners to believe, that’s the story they seeded, nurtured and harvested, and so it was! The most hardcore Berniacs threw one hissy fit after another, stoned Wasserman-Schultz, threatened to bust up the convention all because Hillary Clinton won more votes. He lost. Not by a little, by a lot. 55% — 43%. But for a huge number of his sullen supporters, if Bernie couldn’t have the prize, the no one could. That was their attitude. But the fact is Bernie’s supporters simply didn’t vote in large enough numbers. They didn’t even vote down ballot during the primaries. They didn’t vote for any of the progressive candidates Bernie had anointed, like Russ Finegold and Zephyr Teachout. For all their demonizing of Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, they couldn’t even be bthered to vote for her Bernie-certified opponent Tim Canova. The “revolution” was failing at every level, all across the country. The giddy crowds showed up at rallies but apparently standing in line to vote wasn’t exciting enough. Maybe no one ever taught these people about government. They certainly don’t seem to know much about safeguards the three branches help ensure. Bernie Sanders lost so badly in the South he never could have won the general election with those kinds of numbers even with Hillary out of the way. His excuse? “Oh, they’re just too deeply conservative in the south.” And worse: “Oh, they’re not educated about the issues.” Great way to connect with black voters, there, Professor Sanders! Dismiss them as being too ill-informed to know what’s good for them. Charming. Perhaps if Bernie had one more year of campaigning to strengthen his weaknesses, he might have got a better toehold. But he didn’t. The theory is that good reasonable Democrats would shunned him the primaries would have come ‘round and voted for him in the general. But I’m betting many would have fled altogether and voted for Trump, for the three following reasons.

6. a) Isis. If you didn’t get that Isis was a big part of this election you were living in a bubble, a fantasy bubble where your biggest fear is fracking. But the news that most people watch like CNN or Fox News? It’s all Isis all the time. Fear of Isis is pumped into their living rooms around the clock and it’s become ingrained in our national reality. These voters aren’t staring at Facebook and reading biased boutique news sites that tell progressive liberals what they want to hear (gluten free water cures cancer!). They’re looking around at the world from their own homes and they’re scared. Whether Bernie and his minions thought Isis was a threat is irrelevant. The voters clearly did and they thought it in a big way. It’s an issue much more important to a truckdriver than free college. And there are millions of longhaul truckdrivers. Trump and Hillary Clinton both mopped the floor with Bernie Sanders on Isis and terrorism and foreign policy. Remember the Daily News interview? Bernie forgot to study for that exam. 6. b) Economy. Trump pretended to be Bernie’s best friend because it made Hillary look bad. He used Bernie like a bar rag, sopping up the stale foam of angry white dudes, hipster or otherwise, who could not believe their Feel-the-Bern icon of virtue had been beaten by a girl. 6. c) Immigration. See 6a) and 6b) Because the greatest trick Trump ever pulled was convincing a stunningly large swath of white Americans that all their terrorism fears and the economic woes would magically evaporate if we could only Build That Wall. So it was all about Isis, the economy, and immigration. It was in the beginning, it was in the end, and it is now. Trump would have crushed Sanders on those key points alone and it wouldn’t have even been hard.

7. Bernie is in it for Bernie. He probably would have chosen Cornel West as his running mate, but it’s pretty clear he would not have chosen anyone he would want to share the stage with, because he didn’t like sharing the stage with anyone, not even his poor wife. (“Don’t stand next to me!”) So his veep would have been… who knows. Certainly not dynamo Elizabeth Warren. She would have swooped in like Bernie’s charismatic caregiver. Although in the dreamland of liberal utopia it would have been Sanders and Warren. But even that duo would have lost and lost badly to Trump. Outside the major cities where most of us dwell, the majority of Americans saw Trump and Sanders as different species of outsiders. That’s both funny sad, because Bernie only seemed like an outsider, because nobody in 49 states had ever heard of him before last year, despite his decades in public office. So given that choice, to those voters, Trump would have been basically Bernie except glitzy capitalism instead of scary socialism, Trump was Bernie except with a strong hand against terrorism instead of weak one. Trump was Bernie except with the sultry MILF by his side. None of this would have sat well with a man as vain as Bernie Sanders. Bernie would have been pressured by his all-or-nothing followers to pick a progressive veep so now you’ve got the Bernie progressive vote, you’ve got some of the loyalist Democrats, but you’ve lost ALL of the moderates who are too freaked out about taxes and Isis to take a chance on a radically left ticket.

8. Change in America is incremental and slow. It does not come quickly. After two terms of a Democratic president, the American people have never and will never move farther to the outer reaches in the same direction of the party in power. America is populated by mostly moderates who care more about paying taxes (or not) than just about anything else. Whatever Bernie is offering, this is an electorate that could barely accept Obamacare because they thought it was socialism — what kind of a crackpot does one have to be to think Americans would be ready to veer all the way to 100% government-run health care? They wouldn’t. They won’t. Not yet. I’m so sick of having this conversation with people and if Bernie Sanders runs in 2020 then and only then will they understand, just like the McGovern supporters learned and the Nader voters. You learn that ugly lesson once. For those of us who have lived through people learning that lesson, to watch it learned over again is not just frustrating, it’s tragic. All the left seems able to do is put republicans in power, until they get a clue about what America is and what America isn’t.

9. Liberals were living in a bubble of illusion, including and especially the Berniecrats. They were following what the media kept saying and the media focused entirely too much on Sanders — only when he hurt Hillary. They never focused on his policies. They didn’t want to talk policy. Policy is boring. Let’s watch the scrappy senator take down the powerful woman. Let’s watch Trump take Hillary down. That’s what they were invested in. And they lulled Americans into falsely believing the democrats had it in the bag. This is true now and it would have been true if Bernie won. The only difference is that now Bernie would have to find another scapegoat to explain what would have been a landslide loss for him. But the polls, they would cry, the polls! Because the polls were all they had and the polls were wrong when it came to Trump. They were wrong. Liberals need to break out of that bubble because the joke is on us. America is laughing at us and our hysteria and in order to save the environment, fight for civil and LGBT rights we have to get smarter about it and getting smarter about it does not include living in a deluded fantasy that “Bernie would have won.” No, he wouldn’t have.

10. You can’t lead the democratic party and focus only on the white working class as Bernie did. You can’t lead the democratic party by not acknowledging the success of its two term president, Barack Obama. You can’t lead the democratic party by perpetuating the false notion that Hillary Clinton was only where she was because she was a woman. The democratic party is not the party of the white working class. It stands for a bigger, broader group than that. Bernie writes it off as “identity politics” but it’s bigger than that because America, and the world, are changing. Hillary has more of a record of action than Bernie ever had in 30 years. To discount that is to tell a lie. If you tell enough lies sooner or later they catch up with you and Bernie’s would have caught up with him. He should never have divided the democrats the way he did. He should never have influenced so many young people not to choose pragmatism.

On top of our deep sense of sadness (and yes, everlasting anger) over the way this election was manipulated by the FBI, by WikiLeaks, by Putin, by news media both slanted and fake — it’s just exhausting two weeks later to have to listen to Bernie’s simplistic lectures about the Democrats “failure to connect” with the white working class, and scolded for not seeming to know what people in America care about. It has become depressing and tiresome to watch Bernie continue to blame Hillary even now. Had he ever tried to discourage the character assassination against her early on, we would have had a chance. But Bernie could not stand it that Hillary was beating him. He still can’t stand it and he still can’t believe it. It’s time for him to stop already. Just stop.

“

#bernie sanders #donald trump #hillary clinton

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disneydreamlights · 6 years

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I imagine Strelitzia and Brain would get along pretty well when they finally meet. I mean, they were both pretty close with Lauriam, whom wound up backstabbing both of them (very literally in Strelitzia's case), so there would be some common ground there. Although I can imagine that Brain would probably become slightly overprotective of Strelitzia upon realizing just how young she is (Brain having been the oldest of the Union Leaders).

Blaine just views himself as Strelitzia’s older brother. She doesn’t even accept it but he just constantly tries to make himself her older brother anyways. He wraps his arms around her like “*hisses* no touching my sister” “Blaine we’re not actually siblings.” “My sister.”

Brain, being the eldest of the Union Leaders (except for Lauriam maybe, but I'm not sure which one would be older), would develope some protective instincts towards the others. Granted, the fact is that he's probably not the most powerful of the bunch (that would be Skuld), which is why he wouldn't try to stop Ephemer from banishing Ventus. He'd genuinely regret not doing anything to save Ven, however, so what he does while brainwashed by Maleficent would not help with that guilt.

Well this was meant to be Strelitzia ask set but this is relevant to the ask above and I want to hug Blaine now. ;w;

So, as cute as Strelitzia is, all the overprotecting probably would get on her nerves. I mean, there's a fine line between comforting and smothering, and something tells me Strelitzia would get a mix of both, particularly from people who never saw her nearly level a castle while battling Lauriam. Granted, the fact that she DID die would definitely be a factor in the overprotecting, on top of having an absolutely adorable design as is.

Strelitzia can deal with my player projecting ass protecting her from harm okay? Because I’ll have my player protect her. But yeah she’d probably get a lot of smothering and the poor thing. ;w;

Strelitzia would definitely have an interest in Brain's "nerd stuff" so to speak. Seriously, imagine Strelitzia in safety goggles and helping Brain with his experiments (particularly for when Brain is trying to come up with something cheaper than a Panacea for treating his blindness). Aqua would probably insist that Strelitzia keep her armor on during those experiments upon learning how, volatile, the substances Brain tends to work with can potentially be.

D’awww, that’d honestly be really cute. I’d imagine even if she’s annoyed with his overprotective smothering she’d still care about him and want to help out a lot with this kind of stuff.

Strelitzia, in the MMO!AU at least, doesn't seem to do things halfway. I mean, she goes on a series of misadventures to talk to her crush, journeying across half the universe for revenge, AND adopts a nomadic lifestyle in order to avoid getting close to people during her "trust no one" phase. I mean, it could just be a personality trait, but, combined with how shy she is, I'm starting to wonder if she might have a form of autism. I'm all for this, but not sure how accurate it is.

To clarify what I meant about accuracy, I'm afraid that I might be projecting onto Strelitzia a bit. I mean, I don't want to be THAT guy. You know, that person who insists that some fictional character is just like them and then throws a fit whenever said character does anything to shatter that delusion? Yeah. That said, I honestly wouldn't mind if MMO!Strelitzia was on the autism spectrum. I'm just not entirely sure if she actually is.

Hey MMO AU is your AU. Xp Write autistic Strelitzia for it. If you’re worried about being that person then you’re not going to be that person, I find that’s how it tends to work. And so long as you’re not being that person there’s legit no reason that you can’t project onto Strelitzia and have her be on the spectrum. Hell I’d be all for it if you did. ^^

I can think of one type of fan whom wouldn't instantly hate Brain in the MMO AU: Yaoi Fangirls. Especially the fangirls who hated Strelitzia for "getting in the way" of their Marluxia ships. Hopefully the fans disgusted by Lauriam's murder of Strelitzia would outnumber the fans who'd praise him for it. Especially since most of the more rabid fangirls left the fandom before KHX was released, so Strelitzia probably wouldn't get as much hate for being female as Kairi and Xion did. Hopefully.

On a much brighter note than fandom misogyny from the "good old days", I imagine that the biggest criticisms that Strelitzia would get in the MMO is that her character arc is mostly based on her crush on the Self Insert and that her significance to the plot boils down to being comic relief until Lauriam kills her. Still, I feel like her role in KH3 would hopefully make up for that. I mean, her role in that game is kind of important.

Honestly flashback to 2009 KH fandom. I’ll take up the Strelitzia defense mantle just like I have the Kairi and Xion one if that happened. And yeah, I think we’d avoid it though just because a lot of the rabid fans are gone, at least.

Hey I can take those criticisms so long as they’re not calling her a Mary Sue because I’m tired.

So... I just realized something screwed up about canon. Judging by when her Chirithy vanished, Strelitzia didn't vanish while stepping through the door, she died at the threshold, and what we thought was Strelitzia taking one last step was just her corpse falling through the doorway. Who animated that death scene and who hurt them?

I don’t know who hurt them but they hurt me too. ;w;

#MMO Anon #Anonymous #Heather Answers

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years

Text

New anime of the season, here we go!

Rokuhoudou 1 (REWATCH)

I’m doing a new project where I rewatch some of my favourites to test their integrity in that regard. Here’s the first show - Rokuhoudou. So what I remember about Rokuhoudou is that it’s very simple – the guys make food and help people, occasionally there’s cats – and that was enough to help me through a mental rough patch I was going through at the original time of airing.

Being sick and watching with a cinnamon roll really brings home the idea of Rokuhoudou as “comfort food for the eyes”…No, it’s not what you think. I’m eating a cinnamon roll.

I always assumed the title was translated to “Four-Coloured Daily Life at Rokuhoudou”, because that would be the best translation if the title was fully in kanji. It’s not though, so the hiragana-rendered parts could mean anything.

Rokuhoudou almost gives you this sensation of being spirited away by good food (and Good Boys).

Sui sometimes reminds me of Kunikida (BSD)…must be the glasses.

Gure’s such a tease, LOL.

Tokitaka’s so refined, yet also has the heart and patience to help old people, plant things and make pottery. I love him~!

“You don’t need to show appreciation with bodily functions!”

I only just noticed it…but Gure has a nice eye colour.

Oh…I just realised this since I now know Tokitaka grows the veg and herbs out back, but Tokitaka must’ve grown them.

Hmm…I was wondering why you’d need a spoon for chazuke, but then I realised it’s because of the soup…D’oh.

I wonder if Tokitaka also made the chopstick holders…

Update: The ikura reminds me of Hinamatsuri…

Rokuhoudou 2 (REWATCH)

(Sorry, I had a note, but I didn’t write it down fast enough so I don’t have any for this ep…)

Rokuhoudou 3 (REWATCH)

Tokitaka has a flower in his hair (during the pottery wheel scene)…cute~!

Rokuhoudou 4 (REWATCH)

“You need to chill out.” – More like “you need to calm down”, amirite??? (LOL)

Look at how badass my bois are!

Now that I’ve been seriously working on my customer service skills, I sort of get the ethic behind the Rokuhoudou workers in general.

Rokuhoudou 5 (REWATCH)

Oyaji ga Susumeru Café Iko! – “The Old Guy Recommends Cafes to Go To!”, literally speaking. However, it’s quite slang and seems to be hinting at the positive connotations of an oyaji (fondness, the sort you’d have for your dad), so I approve of the chosen translation “Daddy-o’s Café Go!”.

Oh yeah…this is the weird delusion from Isago, isn’t it? I still rmembr writing a blog post about it!

Why does Tokitaka look so evil in this one scene (where he’s helping Tsubaki), anyway?

Rokuhoudou 6 (REWATCH)

(no notes, sorry!)

Rokuhoudou 7 (REWATCH)

(no notes, sorry!)

Rokuhoudou 8 (REWATCH)

I love how Gure gets all fired up just to pedal a duck boat.

Is it just me, or does young!Gure look like he was designed by Rihito Takarai (creator of Ten Count)…?

I can’t believe this…my stomach grumbled in the middle of an espresso episode…

“Who else could it be for?” – The dog?...I’m kidding, man…don’t get so angry at me, dog lovers.

I think this might be the 2nd time I thought the kid was called “you” (2nd person pronoun), but his nam is “You” (given name).

Oh! I don’t think I noticed this special ED the first time around.

Update: Gure is a happy drunk, LOL. Also, Gure is half-Italian, with his father being Japanese. (see ep. 1 of original watch-through for corresponding notes)

Rokuhoudou 9 (REWATCH)

Is the land of love France or Italy…?

Shinchosha is real…in fact, they’re the ones who publish Rokuhoudou’s manga!

Oh, seriously, I ship it now! Isago x Hayashi, that is…and Sui x kittens.

Update: Somehow I only just ralised it…but the titular “Mont Blanc Boy” is Tsunozaki, even though technically the only boys we see in this episode are young! Kyousui and Yakyou.

Rokuhoudou 10 (REWATCH)

The Napolitan episode…this is where Astral’s post comes from.

I get the feeling this segment’s title is a shoutout to “You Don’t Know Gunma Yet”, which is in…Kurage Bunch, also by Shinchosha, if I’m remembering correctly.

Gure and Tsubaki are like children sometimes, I swear…

Kuromitsu = brown sugar. (It means “black sweetness”, literally translating and it used to confuse me so much that I want to mention it here.)

VAINO computer, eh?

Tokyo NX, LOL. (Parody of Tokyo MX, which has a lot of anime.)

Short-haired Tokitaka!

I think Koto(ko…?)’s words, in particular, were one of the best monologues in this series when it comes to relaxing by realising I wasn’t alone in my doubts of the world. “Can I make it to my dreams?” I was asking the first time I saw this and even though I haven’t achieved the dreams of past me, I just had to adjust my expectations, make some new dreams and keep on going.

Rokuhoudou 11 (REWATCH)

Good heck, Gendo-I mean, Kyousui. (re: finger tenting)

Also, there is one univeral truth about this show: don’t watch it on an empty stomach…I had to go get some food a few eps. back in this rewatch because my stomach grumbled…

When I thought of “something rich”, I thought of a pudding too. Maybe my memory is better than I thought, huh?

I thought there was something dirty on my screen…turns out it was just Gure’s beauty spot.

Rokuhoudou 12 (FINAL, REWATCH)

“I’ll wake you up, then.”

I learnt this from the manga, but Itou is the old tea vendor.

Gin-chan reminds me of the inventor Logicalist from Hina Logi.

Karamimochi. By the way, from earlier in the ep…ankoro mochi.

Neneko was meant to be into kimonos, wasn’t she…?

Nion (sic) camera, LOL.

Okay, that’s the end of my first rewatch. It’s a keeper!

Fruits Basket 25 (FINAL)

Shihan = shisho = instructor.

Notice the Jizo, protector of children.

“…didn’t have to block…”

LOL, Tohru’s shocked face going from Kyo to Yuki.

Ooh, Makoto Takei and Machi Kuragi…

Isuzu!!!

Okay, that’s the end of that. See you next time!

Demon Slayer 25

So the other butterfly mansion girls (aside from Aoi, Shinobu and Kanao) are called Naho, Kiyo and Sumi, huh?

Tanjiro is seemingly a freakin’ masochist right now to those girls…

Ooh, there’s a butterfly in a chrysalis on the title card!

It seems, based on the kanji for Tsuguko, the word literally means “inheritor”, “successor” or “one who makes [another person’s role flourish by being in it]”…Like a Legacy Character from TV Tropes. Also, “Tsuyuri” literally means “chestnut flowers fall”, if I understand the characters right.

Kanao does the Naruto run. She wants to see them aliens too!

“Putting in effort isn’t my thing.” – Now there’s a sentence after my own heart!

Why does Kanao not talk???

Kanao’s coin says “front” and “back” instad of heads and tails.

Hmm, hmm…very heterosexual reading of Kanao here. It almost makes me lose hope in the “gay Shinobu” department (not that I’m angry about that).

This guy with the hat…I swear he looks like a jellyfish…

Why do all the swordsmiths wear that mask???

There’s one thing I realised this episode…anime humour means I expect exaggerated reactions to a lot of things, such as Inosuke chipping his swords like that.

I remember being a bit annoying about the interchangeability between the translation of honoo as “fire” and “flame” when I was a Boueibu rookie...*sighs happily* good times.

Okayyyyyy…Tanjiro’s gone cuckoo…

Nezuko, Inosuke and Zenitsu, huh? There’s a combo I’ve never seen!

Mob Psycho 100 OVA

Isekai hot springs, LOL.

I think I can see Saitama’s bald head, LOL.

I think there might be CGI on this hot springs establishment…

This is Reigen, king of bulls*%$, everyone!

Nanbanzuke.

“[P]air of plumbers”, eh…?

Ooh, 8-bit graphics! Remember season 2’s early scenes? That 8-bit one was good.

Dude, Reigen…just leave the train already…then you’ll get out.

LOL, “Mobpis”...Mobpis 100, maybe?

Strangely, Teru looks vaguely hot in one frame of one scene where he has his eyes closed.

Why do I get the feeling the capybaras on TV will be relevant later…?

Now, this parallel world brings a new meaning to “Infinity Train”!

Nice callback to the opening words of s1 and 2.

…and randomly, Dimple can be seen in the red waves.

It seems Dimple likes sprouting legs these days.

Cop Craft 11

Tourte’s career…almost sounds like Trump’s…

“No one treats me like an alien.”

Don’t bring a sword to a gun fight, Tilarna…

The name “transitional crises” is perfect for this episode…geesh. Just like episode 1, there’s a cliffhanger.

Dr Stone 11

Notice the focus on E=mc2 when Senku talks about passing on knowledge.

Ahh, science…the cliché says it’s for loners, but truth be told, science works in tag teams just like anything else. (Yes, even IT, if you look at it a certain way – such as how creating your code builds upon the people who built that code and the people who made the programs you code in.

Why do all the villagers have platform shoes anyway???

Demon Slayer 26 (FINAL)

Is that woman (not the Biwa player, the other one)…Muzan?! Update: Yes.

Genya…he got so tall in 2 years(ish)…poor Tanjiro. He’s fated to kill Kibutsuji, but he’s also fated to be short.

Does every girl in this series have to fall in love with Tanjiro?!?! (or be implied to be shippable with him, even Nezuko???) I obviously don’t like that kind of direction, as you can see.

Ah, Kanao speaks…for once.

I guess Nezuko has a really loud heart voice, to contrast Kanao’s tiny heart voice, so to speak.

How does Inosuke eat anything through the boar head if he’s taking it off all the time now to do things with his mouth???

Darn that ninja Giyu, leaving as soon as he feels sentimental. (LOL)

*starts yelling at top of lungs* MU-GEN TRAIN! (roughly to the tune of TM Network’s Love Train, which I heard about a few months before this)

I just realised Tanjiro’s probably never seen a train, considering the only transport he’s ever known is maybe a carriage/cart…or maybe just his legs.

As Zenitsu’s struggling to keep up with the train, I almost expect the Harry Potter theme to play and a flying car to appear in the distance…okay, I’m kidding about the car, but I did wish for a second the Harry Potter song would play. Nur-nurr-nur-nurrrrrr-nur-nurrrrrr-nurr…(or something)

Cop Craft 12 (FINAL)

“…taking the lead in the mayoral lead.” – That sounds redundant.

Hey! It’s that one Demon Slayer joke again! (i.e. Kei used his head.)

Dead Randall: too much for TV.

I still can’t believe they properly managed to incorporate the porn case into the finale…

I watched Hellsing today and all this “Sir Matoba” this and “Sir Matoba” that made me wonder…why is Integra a “Sir” as well…?

Zelada does look like Alucard in some senses…hmm.

I think the large bruise over Kei’s eye disappeared in one of the scenes…Now it’s just under his eye.

Wait, Tilarna has a sibling??? Wuh???

I like how they transitioned into the OP, but man…talk about a fast ending. That’s a Hellsing kinda ending fo’ sure. Oh well, see you next time.

Ahiru no Sora 1

New season, new faces, new series. Let’s get into it.

Man, this sparrow freaks me out…

Lyrics from the outset. This must be something special to warrant such a thing.

I always thought Kuzuryuu (“nine-headed dragon”, literally translating) was a cool surname to have! Or just a place name, in this case.

LOL, his name is Momohara (peach field).

The arcade machine says “fist” in the back.

Uh-oh…nothing ever goes right when a boy tries peeping into the girl’s locker room…

*sigh* The male gaze…geesh.

“What are you doing?!” (Nani yatterun da?!) doesn’t translate to “This isn’t the circus!”.

Oh right…Momo = 100, chi = 1000, haru = spring, aki = autumn.

Hey, Chiaki actually got Sora’s name right for once…

Basically everything I know about basketball is from Kuroko no Basuke, so…uh…Sora’s reminding me of Kuroko right now.

Shinchou Yuusha 1

I just call this “TUEEE” instead…don’t mind me. Obviously, my target here is Ume…y’know that, right?

Most of these gods and goddesses look suckish, but I wouldn’t mind an anime about the one with the long hair and Monkey King headband.

Ristarte’s already a bundle of fun…although her leg jiggling’s a bit annoying…

(mocking) There must be a downside to this, right, Listarte…?

Can we not with boob storage??? I bet no matter how big a woman’s knockers are, you can’t store anything between ‘em in real life! (I think we’d need an anime Mythbusters for something like that…make it happen, someone!)

YesyesyesyesYES! OOH, Ristarte, you sure know how to pick ‘em! The fact he’s over 180 cm in height is…well, it’s bad for trying to kiss him, but otherwise it’s just a cherry on the cake of smokin’ HOT!

“[F]ish story”??? You mean “fishy”, right? (Oh well, seems like synonyms work too…)

I…don’t quite get this song…but I think I saw a hot guy (might’ve been a woman, but I’d like it to be a man since there are already so many women in the OP as is) about halfway through the OP. It’s a real 2 for 1 bargain here, people. Update: Argh…that’s a woman after all…

Argh! *is suddenly sabotaged by one Ariadoa* If you’ve read the Spellbook, you’ll know one of my aliases is “Aria Noyed”. It just happens to be the same as an anime and manga already, but now I have it ruining my fun here too…

LOL, did you hear that “ba-bing!” acquistion sound when Rista produced the money?

To be honest, I think regular Seiya (with the purple-highlighted armour as you see here) looks pretty hot anyway (plus Ume’s voice, which I came for), so I think I have a lock-in for the season right here.

The sakuga in this show is way too good (according to all the cubes of soil I keep seeing)!

This ED is a pretty cool bop, yo.

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marvelandponder · 7 years

Photo

Rainbow Power, Y’all

Happy (belated) Pride month, everybody! I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of how I wanted to talk about gay ponies. Mostly because I literally never shut up about it so writing a opinion-based Should MLP Have a Gay Couple? editorial would be kind of self-explanatory. Kind of really self-explanatory.

Plus, we already have one. Lyra and Bon Bon might have to chant “best friends” a hundred times before they can make goo-goo eyes at each other, but that body language and even just the way they talk to each other in is pretty telling.

Damn, that’s pretty gay.

Oh and also this happened last year on the official Facebook apparently:

God, I love this show. Taking into account the fact that the other two are married couples, this is a Valentines Day promotion, and that making someone’s heart “gallop” can’t really be misconstrued as platonic, I seriously love this.

So, I mean, I can’t exactly stop you from interpreting them as platonic, but I would consider them canon and I’m even glad for the subtlety. Not all depictions need to state the obvious, so long as it is obvious.

I think with these two the intention was to make it ambiguous enough for parents to decide if they want to explain the concept. Kids aren’t stupid, but I think the demographic won’t pick up on the context clues that this could be a romantic relationship when they’ve been primed with the words “best friends” a number of times.

So, at that point, it’s up to the parents who watch the show with their kids to decide (if they haven’t already) if this is how and when they’d like to explain the concept of a same-sex relationship, with this as a visual aide. If Lyra and Bon Bon end up being baby’s first gay relationship, so to speak, that’s awesome.

So, if I’m so satisfied with those two, why write this? Why push for more in an already accepting climate, especially when an effort has already been made? Isn’t that greedy? Or exploitative? Has my shipping brain finally lead me down the road to delusion?

I hear you answering yes to that last one, but I’m just gonna ignore that.

As to the question, it comes down to the word choice. I’m not asking if it should be done---it’s already been done. I’m not asking if Hasbro would allow it, because whether or not they’d show a lot of support, they have shown some.

I’m asking how it could be done with the intention of explaining why it would or wouldn’t add something of value.

Because the landscape of children’s television is changing rapidly. From the time Friendship is Magic started in 2010 until good ol’ 2017, the number of kids’ shows that have incorporated LGBT+ characters and couples has only grown exponentially from before.

On top of that, I’m a little biased in my perception, but I’m not the only one whose noticed that this year’s pride month has been the most visibly celebrated yet. For better or worse, the amount of companies trying to support the LGBT+ community during pride has only grown.

This year’s Amazon Pride float was Rainbow Dash and MLP themed in Dublin. Don’t know if Amazon got Hasbro’s permission to use their character in a parade, but they gave her a horn because unicorns apparently are gay (just as a rule) and now she’s an alicorn.

By the way, they totally messed up those flags. If it had said My Little Pride, they could’ve been selling thousands of them. To me. Wasted potential, I tell you.

And again my bias showing: I can’t speak for other regions, but where I live all public schools, from elementary to universities and colleges, have rainbow pride flags flying.

All the schools I’ve gone to growing up are now flying pride flags for a full month.

That’s... I can’t tell you how heartwarming it is to see. And my elementary school services kindergarten kids all the way up to grade 8---some children as young as 5-6 years old are now growing up with that being a natural part of their environment throughout their entire childhood.

When we were growing up and I think in a lot of places around the world still, there was a question of when it should be taught to kids and whether the concept alone was age appropriate, but little by little, that’s just not the case anymore.

From their shows and media to even some of their schools, more and more kids are learning about this in a natural way from a young age, to the point that it is just love and it is just who these people are to them. And for once I mean it when I say I think that’s beautiful.

But things evolve like this at different rates in different places, so we’re not perfect yet, and the push for more is out of a desire to see the progress continue and for more groups than the ones that are typically represented.

Would I be heartbroken if this was as gay as MLP ever got? Nah (besides, through the power of denial, all my ships are already canon!). But at this point the question is starting to become why not? instead of just why? so even if this remains a hypothetical discussion, I think it’s still an important one.

I’m going to forever cherish the subtlety of those Lyra and Bon Bon scenes, but it’s the first pride month that I’ve been out and I feel like celebrating. Let’s get gay.

Love in Friendship is Magic

Right off the bat, I think it’s important to establish that we’re not trying to change the show fundamentally. It’s about friendship, and while other relationships are shown to be deep and fulfilling as well (family and even romantic), the show’s focus on how meaningful friendship is great.

But here’s my thing with the “this show is about friendship!” argument. It’s not like we don’t already have other types of relationships. Several episodes have been dedicated to developing purely familial relationships.

And even beyond the platonic, Spike has (had?) a crush that factored into the plot of a few episodes, Big Mac now seems to have an on-going relationship, and there are a few prominent married couples. This stuff exists largely in the background, comparatively, but it’s not like romance doesn’t have a place in the show. It just doesn’t surpass the focus on friendship.

So, yeah, just because they have a romance doesn’t mean it has to take over the show, nor should it.

If we were going to go the route of canonizing an LGBT+ couple, that would still be something to take into account.

It doesn’t mean that main characters can’t have a romance necessarily, just that they should work in a friendship lesson along with it.

If Starlight and Trixie were dating for instance (she said, as if it was a random example instead of her ship), a story would probably mostly center around their friends helping them through relationship troubles or preparing for adorable dates. Or, on the flip side, their friends learning the lesson of when not to interfere.

Or, now that Starlight’s cutie mark is on the map (indicating that other ponies can be called if necessary), perhaps a couple could be called to solve a friendship problem instead of two friends.

Basically, so long as there’s still some element of friendship, the writers can introduce a new kind of relationship and develop it in tandem with the friendships already present.

Or, as there is in The Perfect Pear (without giving spoilers beyond what the summary said, for those waiting for the US release), we could just have an episode with a bigger focus on a romance.

Notice how all these scenarios aren’t dependent on the idea that this romance be queer. I’m a bit torn on this issue, because I can see both sides, but I think I usually lean towards the idea that because there ideally doesn’t need to be a difference between straight romances and gay romances, there doesn’t need to be a story reason for them to be gay.

Like I said, I do see the appeal of stories that require the couple and/or characters to be queer, but there’s pros and cons to either side.

We don’t necessarily need to see a story dealing with homophobia in Equestria, in part because that contrasts so much with the Equestria we already know. It’s too loving. It took 4 seasons to address Scootaloo’s disability not because no one noticed, but because everyone accepted her for who she was (aside from DT and SS). It’s not like homophobia or hatred can’t exist in this world, but it’s just not widespread.

A really good reason to include romance in general and even “different kinds of love” so to speak is to give Cadence more screen-time and development.

I’d love to see the Princess of Love guiding her subjects! She could even help a character come out, which would be both a reason to have an LGBT+ character and/or romance in the show, but also make the concept relatable to young kids---a story about accepting who you are and what you love makes sense to them.

I think there’s definitely potential to take this in interesting places, develop pre-established characters and relationships, and all without stealing the focus from friendship too much.

Who Wins the Dreaded Shipping Wars

On the right, Ashleigh Ball posting a fanmade picture of an AppleDash wedding for World Pride Day. On the left, IDW comic writer Jeremy Whitley arguing for FlutterDash... either way, I’m down for this.

Fan expectation is a funny thing.

We both crave for the show to address what we’ve long speculated on, and dread it.

In the case of the Apple family’s parents, there’s been countless emotional fan-theories, stories, and ideas, and yet The Perfect Pear remains one of the most anticipated episodes (for those who have yet to watch it).

With Slice of Life, we were surprised to find some headcanons confirmed and celebrated, but also some destroyed by canon.

I think when it comes to confirming LGBT+ characters and relationships, it’s really no different. We all have different ideas about who these characters are, and those of us who ship have ideas about who they might like.

So, yeah, even if we went down the road of confirming minor characters as LGBT+, if we already know them, it would likely step on a few toes. But honestly I’d rather step on those toes than introduce a new character for the sole purpose of them being gay. Sorta boils them down to just one purpose/one “trait.”

And in the end, as much as it sucks to have your ship sunk or your headcanons burst into flames, 1. If we never wanted the show to establish new things about these characters, why continue watching? and 2. My friends, I’ve been a shipper for a long time and I can say from experience: a ship doesn’t sink even when canon contradicts you. Denial and imagination are a fan’s most awesome tools.

Oh and would you look at that, my transition is here.

Love in EQG

Just as a sidenote, because of what I ship, I’ve said before that I think the Equestria Girls franchise would actually be a perfect place to include LGBT+ relationships because the series already has a heavier focus on romance than the show.

If you’re going to have these high school drama romance subplots, which is a staple of the series now, might as well go ahead and make it gay! *Cough* Sciset still makes the most sense from a storytelling perspective *cough*

Queerer than Ever Before

I wanted to include a section like this because it’s something we’re still working on in animation as a whole: representing more than just gay and lesbian relationships.

I’m happy to report bisexuals and in and out of relationships are also now getting more love, but that’s about where the buck stops. Steven Universe has the closest thing to trans and bigender or androgynous representation, which is mostly not literal. As in, they have fusions of two different characters, and characters like Garnet who feel better in a different form, but as of yet there’s no straight up trans or non-cis-gendered characters.

BMO from Adventure Time could certainly count as gender-fluid, though, so it’s not all bad news bears.

Pansexuality and asexuality have yet to be represented in children’s animation (in adult animation, Rick Sanchez of Rick and Morty is canonically pansexual, though!) aside from Spongebob being confirmed to be asexual off-screen by the show’s creator “because he’s a sponge.”

We’re largely still figuring out how these people and more groups I haven’t even mentioned ideally should be represented, but trying is still the first step.

For example, Big Mac’s not trans, but while I reaaaally didn’t love that his cross-dressing was a joke in Brotherhooves Social, I can also appreciate the fact that everyone around him was aware he was originally a stallion but let him compete in the Sisterhooves Social anyway, a trans issue we’re still debating in reality.

So, the comedy of the episode is kinda transphobic (not because Big Mac is trans, he’s not in canon, but because the comedy comes from him being in drag), but once again Equestria itself proves to be a really accepting, tolerant place.

And I think it can be hard to know how to represent these voices well (there’s also the fact that MLP theoretically could hire on a guest writer, as they do now every season, if they wanted to specifically have someone who’s non-cisgendered tackle a story of that nature), but hey, why not be the first to try? Wouldn’t it suit the show’s loving nature to be inclusive?

LGBT+ in Equestria

More and more these days it’s becoming the norm to include more ways to love others and oneself in kids cartoons. You could argue not every show needs to have LGBT+ inclusion, which I can agree with, but by the same token and especially for shows with an expansive world, no serialized ongoing plot to adhere to, and focus on love and acceptance already, the show doesn’t need to be entirely straight, either.

Ask why not, instead of just why.

There are ways to make romance relevant to the target audience without teaching them they need it to be happy, and there are ways of explaining these concepts to them without forcing a political stance. For kids, it’s simple. Love is love, and you are who you are. That’s really all there is to it.

I’d be over the moon if the show ever had the chance to represent more than they already have. In the same way I wanted to Applejack’s parents to be dead, I’d ideally want to see how MLP specifically would deal with this hard topic with its usual kindness, gentleness, and love. As in the former case, I think it has the potential to be something wonderful.

In the end, though, I of course can’t say if we will ever see more, or exactly would or should it would be handled.

I suppose we can only hope to follow Lyra and Bon Bon’s example.

Other MLP stuff? Oh yeah, I’ve done that! I’ve got more editorials like this one over here, and episode reviews over here. But because plain old links aren’t pretty, have the last three things I’ve done with purty pictures:

Dr. Wolf Theory Reading, Parental Glidenace Review, and Celestia/Daybreaker Editorial

Year of the Pony

Visuals in this Post Wouldn’t Be Possible Without...

Pinkie Pie Vector by MPNoir Flag Vector by JayBugJimmies Lyra and Bon Bon Poster by BronybyException

Art from talented artists, what could be better? Hit up those links and check out their awesome galleries!

The Real Agenda Here is My Shipping Agenda

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Why you should be watching Babylon 5

With all the streaming services that are out and about today, it can sometimes be hard to find which ones are slinging the best ‘tent around (that’s content to you plebs). There’s the big players in the game: Netflix, Hulu and Amazon, but lets not forget the mini-bosses in this game of views. Services like: Vue, Sling, Crackle, Twitch, Vevo, Shimmy, Wrangle and Flurp. There are so many out there that I bet you didn’t even realize the last three I mentioned aren’t even real services.

I mean, Yahoo! Screen? Who you trying to kid with that fake news?

Recently while clicking ‘round the wonderful world of Reddit, I noticed I kept seeing an ad at the top of my screen saying that I could stream all of Babylon 5 for free. I shrugged it off as nonsense, some click bait-y type website that would make me read and click through 35 images smothered with ads talking about “What do the People of B5 look like Now?!”

#4 will shock you!

But then, thanks to Big Brother and his tasty cookies, I started seeing the ad more and more on different pages I went to: Reddit, Yahoo! (sorry Screen), Latino-Review, PornHub, xHamster, FistMeisters and Club Penguin. So I decided to take a peek at what this was. Thus I was introduced to a new player in the game: go90.com

I love you.

Sure enough, for free, I could sign up for an account and watch the entirety of Babylon 5 (five seasons) and only have to deal with one 15 second ad before every episode. I couldn’t believe it. ‘Why is this important?’ you ask. Well I will tell you make believe reader.

Babylon 5 is the fucking best sci-fi show of all time.

Come at me Farscape! (but for realzies Farscape is awesome too...)

‘What is Babylon 5?’ you ask again voice in my head. Here’s the Wiki: “Set between the years 2257 and 2262, it depicts a future where Earth has sovereign states, and a unifying Earth government. Colonies within the solar system, and beyond, make up the Earth Alliance, and contact has been made with other spacefaring species. The ensemble cast portray alien ambassadorial staff and humans assigned to the 5-mile-long Babylon 5 space station, a center for trade and diplomacy.”

Sounds complicated and convoluted? You bet your sweet ass it is. J Michael Straczynski (further to be known as JMS because I do NOT feel like typing his last name out 300 times), created this show because he wanted to take an adult approach to science fiction story telling. He has been quoted as saying that he wanted “to take an adult approach to SF, and attempt to do for television SF what Hill Street Blues did for cop shows."

If you think that sentence doesn’t sounds old, then I have a Blockbuster franchise I wanna sell you.

The show mainly focuses around five dominant races/species/civilizations: the Humans, the Minbari, the Narn, the Centuri and the Vorlons). Through the wonders of makeup, costuming and practical effects, these races look, act and feel VASTLY different from each other, despite the fact they are all bi-pedal humanoid type creatures. During the series Babylon 5 goes through many plot lines, all interweaving and intersecting at critical and crucial points that make you slap your head and wonder how the hell they pulled it off. Well the answer is simple, and point number one on my multiple bullet breakdown on why this show rocks.

Who’s ready for bullets and notes, you nerds?!

1) JMS, the creator, wrote 92 of the 110 episodes of the series

Think about that for a second. Almost 84% of the entirety of the series was written by one man, which includes the entirety of the 3rd and 4th seasons (the 3rd being arguably one of the best seasons). A feat, JMS would tout, that had never before accomplished in American Television. Why is this a big deal? Well when you have one singular vision you can expect the unexpected and plan for contingencies you never saw coming. What do you mean by that? Well…

2) Every Character was written with a “trap-door”

Pulled directly from Wiki (because I’m hungover and being a lazy writer for the moment): “Though conceived as a whole, it was necessary to adjust the plot line to accommodate external influences. Each of the characters in the series was written with a ‘trap door’ into their background so that, in the event of an actor's unexpected departure from the series, the character could be written out with minimal impact on the storyline.”

In the words of Straczynski, “As a writer, doing a long-term story, it'd be dangerous and short-sighted for me to construct the story without trap doors for every single character. ... That was one of the big risks going into a long-term storyline which I considered long in advance…” I can’t think of another series that has done this. Contract disputes? Check. Actors dying? Check. Budgetary constraints. Check. All bases covered by this one simple act of having the entire story thought out, conceived, shepherded and written by one man.

Getting rid of unwanted minions? Check.

Why is this “trap-door” thing important? Take the case of Michael O’Hare who played Commander Jeffery Sinclair in the first Season of B5. During the first season O’Hare started having paranoid delusions and hallucinations. As the show continued they worsened, causing him to be difficult to work with O’Hare lashing out at fellow colleagues. JMS offered to suspend the show for several months while he helped him seek treatment, but O’Hare declined because he didn’t want to jeopardize the series or other people’s jobs. He agreed to finish the first season and be written off the show so he could seek treatment. The treatments were only partially successful, but it allowed Sinclair to make a few cameo appearances in Seasons 2 and 3 to finish out his arc properly. After all was said and done, JMS swore to keep O’Hare’s secret to the grave, to which O’Hare replied "keep the secret to my grave", pointing out that fans deserved to eventually learn the real reason for his departure, and that his experience could raise awareness and understanding for people suffering from mental illness. O’Hare suffered a heart attack in NYC in September of 2012, and true to his word, eight months later at Phoenix ComicCon JMS told the story of his late friend and colleague.

My good…dear friend JMS

3) Visual Pioneer

Most Sci fi shows (and movies for that matter) at the time relied HEAVILY on practical effects. B5 did not when it came to space-time-fun. In order to make the budget stretch, JMS and other producers developed their own in house effects company. This show came out in 1993, the same time Jurassic Park did.

I mean, look at how realistic Goldbulm looks.

Now, while the graphics haven’t aged as gracefully as Jurassic Park did, they also had $100,000 workstations and several years to work on those dino-fects (which total about 6 minutes of the movie) where B5 had $5,000 stations to work on each week, with space scenes taking up a good 33% of the episodes. On top of that, B5 was not filmed in 4:3 aspect ratio like a majority of TV was. It was shot in 16:9 and cropped to fit, which is why today some of the effects haven’t aged really well, but I forgive them.

ZOMG LAZERS PEW PEW

B5 and the effects house Foundation Imaging, also heavily influenced sci-fi TV shows to come after. Star Trek, most notably, were reluctant to use CGI in their TV shows, until B5 showed them that it could be done, and done well. This change happened when the series premiered on television in January 1993, conclusively proving that computer animation, most notably CGI, could be employed in creating spectacular believable VFX on a tight budget. And despite themselves, this was not entirely lost at the time on the Star Trek producers.

David Livingston commented on the use of early CGI in creating the Bajoran lightship for Deep Space Nine: "We were reluctant to do computer graphics, but Peter Lauritson finally came around. He recognized how valuable it is. You can do more stuff with the ship, but you have to do it right.”

Speaking of Deep Space 9, there is a little bit of controversy there. You see, Paramount Television was aware of JMS’ show B5 as early as 1989. JMS attempted to sell the show to Paramount and provided them the series bible, pilot script, artwork, character backgrounds and histories and plot synopsis for the first season or 22 episodes. Paramount declined to produce B5, but then announced Deep Space 9 would be in development two months after Warner Bros. announced that they were produced B5. For those of you not in the know, Star Trek: Deep Space 9 was a notable Star Trek show for one very important reason: it doesn’t take place on a starship…but on a space station. Controlled by the United Federation of Planets (or as B5 had it…the League of Non-Aligned Worlds). There are more “coincidental similarities” but I’ll let JMS say it better than I can in his response to a DS9 fan who took JMS and Warner Bros’ lack of legal action as proof they had no case:

"If there is any (to use your term) winking and nudging going on, it's on the level of 'Okay, YOU (Paramount) know what happened, and *I* know what happened, but let's try to be grownup about it for now,' though I must say that the shapechanging thing nearly tipped me back over the edge again. If there are no more major similarities that crop up in the next few weeks or months, with luck we can continue that way."

Suck it you Ferengei Bastard

4) The Characters

The characters have SO MUCH depth. Without giving up any spoilys, the two biggest arcs in the show belong to G’Kar of the Narn and Londo Mollari of the Centauri. Played with ferocity and earnest by Andreas Katsulas (the one armed man from President Ford’s version of The Fugitive) and Peter Juraik respectively, these two characters go through some of the biggest, hardest and thickest most emotional arcs in the whole show. The Narn and the Centuri have been at war for over 100 years, and they well…hate each other. But every time you think things can come to a peaceful resolution, something happens to reset things back to zero. Both characters (thanks to the wonderful acting by their um…actors) make you feel their despair, pain, struggle, anger and anguish with every line spoken. Every character had a deep backstory and makes you feel for them. Ivanova and her hatred for Psi-Corp. Girabaldi and his alcoholism. Dr. Franklin’s addiction to stims. So on, and so forth.

Something about bad hair and awful decisions...

5) Awards

The show was nominated for eight Emmy Awards, and winning two, including Outstanding Cinematography, Makeup and Hairstyling for a series. It also won two Hugo Awards (basically the Emmys/Oscars of science fiction and fantasy); two Space Frontier Foundation Awards; an E Pluribus Unum Award presented by the American Cinema Association and a Saturn award for Best Syndicated/Cable Television Series. That’s a lot of ceremonies to attend.

So that’s my pitch. I have owned all 5 seasons of Babylon 5 on DVD for quite some time, but it’s always been a hassle to have to break out the Blu-Ray player, find the right HDMI input, etc., when you can just stream almost anything anywhere. So now that I have this option, I have been binging it, much to my delight. So much so that I have been missing out on current seasons of shows I’ve watched for years like House of Cards & Orange is the New Black, and also not even bothering to start shows like The Expanse or The OA.

There is so much to love with this series. There are even multiple movie spinoffs that, while not necessary to view when watching the show, just add even more depth and stories to the universe.

I can’t wait to finish this series for the umpteenth time so I can just start it over again.

—written by Tony Patryn | @patrynize on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook | www.patrynize.com

#babylon 5 #narn #minbari #centauri #vorlon #babylon5 #tv #scifi #sci-fi & fantasy #review #gifs #tv reviews #my good dear friend girabaldi

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