#and mom can recover and rest and be able to take a shower when she needs to

[ilguna]

☼ childhood friends (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; after three years of not talking to Finnick, you get reaped for the Hunger Games, and he decides it's time to apologize for leaving you behind the way he did.

warnings; swearing

wc; 3.6k

–

When you finally became eligible for the Hunger Games five years ago, you accidentally started a nasty habit of wishing to get deathly ill to avoid the reaping. All you want is to get sick enough for the peacekeepers to give you a pass, because if they think that you’ll die before you reach the arena, then they don’t want you. The Capitol wants entertainment, and a sickly tribute is a boring tribute.

The goal is to survive the illness, whatever it may be. Let it take weeks for you to recover, if that’s what has to happen. As long as you don’t die from it, because that’s exactly the problem you’re trying to avoid.

You didn’t live seventeen years of your life only to be reaped and thrown into an area to fight for your life. You made it this far. You have one more year until you’re free from the reaping. Free.

Unfortunately, for the past five years, you’ve woken up as healthy as the day you were born. There’s not a single symptom that you could bend to look malicious. You think that if you end up surviving this year’s reaping, that you’re going to go around licking doorknobs to make sure that you’re sick next year.

You turn to the bathtub full of water that your mom’s been filling for you while you made breakfast. It’s probably not even warm anymore, but you have no choice. She won’t let you go outside unless you’re well-dressed in the chance that you do get selected in the reaping. She won’t have her eldest representing the family badly.

You step into the tub, and pleasantly find that it’s lukewarm. It won’t be this way for long, you have a small window to get yourself cleaned up and hair washed before it turns ice cold. You sink into the tun, letting it warm your skin slightly, and then you get started.

As you scrub your skin with a bar of unscented soap, you stare at the adjacent wall. In the Capitol, you heard that they have running showers. You can turn the knob and have hot water come out immediately, and bathtubs that they can fill with hot water without having to wait over an hour for the water to boil first.

They might have those appliances here somewhere in the district. If you had to guess, you’d say the Justice Building, where the mayor and his family stays, or any of the victor homes in Victor’s Village. Since they won the Hunger Games, it’s nothing but the best for them.

You bet that they forget that the rest of the district doesn’t have the same luxury as they do with the hot water. Even the upper class part of district four doesn’t have showers. The houses were never installed with them—maybe better bathtubs. You can’t imagine how expensive it would be to run that water.

You don’t think you’d leave the bathroom ever again. You’d sit under the water for hours, letting the water hit your face, or the top of your head. You’d close your eyes and imagine the warm rain that you get in the summertime. And you would be able to do that every day until you got sick of it.

Instead, you’re stuck with a bar of soap, and a tub of cooling water. The same water that turned a slight shade of white because of the soap, that you now have to use to wash your hair. You could get your mom to brew you a whole new tub, but you don’t have time for it. She leaves only enough room to get you in and out before the rest of your family gets in.

You turn your head to the side while lowering your hair into the water to get it wet, squeezing it a few times to make sure the water sticks. After that, you reach for the bland bottle of shampoo that smells faintly of strawberries if you smell hard enough. You lather, and then rinse, and when you’re done, you pull the plug on the tub to let it drain while you get dressed.

You dry your body, and start on your hair for a minute. You stop when you realize that it’s going to be a longer process than you expected, and opt for pulling your dress on, being careful not to get it wet. The moment you open the bathroom door, arms full of dirty clothes, heading for your bedroom, your mom is already passing you with the first pot of hot water for your little sister’s bath.

“Drop the clothes in the hallway, I’ll clean them later tonight.” She tells you, eyes landing on your hair, “Do you need help putting your hair up?”

“If you have time, or I can do it myself.” You shrug.

“Grab a chair and take a seat in the kitchen.” She directs your chin upwards, correcting your habit of looking down, “I always have time for you.”

You give her a half-smile, dropping your dirty clothes in the hallway while you head to your room to grab the hair ties and brush. When you look at your clock, you see that there’s only an hour and a half before the reaping. It seems like a lot of time, but with a family of five, it takes so much longer.

You brush your hair while you wait for her to come into the kitchen, several pots are on the stove with the heat turned to high. Your brother sits in the living room, playing with his toys, and your dad is nowhere to be seen. You’re pretty sure he bathed last night to avoid today’s mayhem.

“Sit.” She tells you, you pull out a chair.

She’s gentle when she pulls on your wet hair, used to your younger sister’s whining about rough hands. She’s never been bad about the brush, it’s more of her redoing your hair several times to make sure that it’s absolutely perfect. It’s one of the struggles that come with having to appear as a lower middle class family. They’re always about image, even if you have nothing to show.

Your mom’s side of the family used to be a line of jewelers. She was even raised to appraise precious jewelry. She would buy jewelry at a low price and turn around and sell it higher. It worked out for your grandparents for a while, until your mom asked for a better cut on the profit, since she was the reason why they were making so much.

Her parents denied her, and then shut her out entirely, firing her. By then, your mom had already married your dad, so she had him to fall back on. She watched as her parents started to lose profit, and lost business altogether because they got rid of her. And when they came to her, asking for her charity, she laughed in their faces and told them that they’re dead to her.

You haven’t seen them, not since you were young. From what you remember, they lived in a big house, more bedrooms than they needed. It wasn’t even your mom’s childhood home, she says they sold that and upgraded. They must’ve moved to a different part of the district, because you’ve never accidentally run across them.

Your mom’s always told you that if you need her, then she’ll come running, no matter the situation, no matter the reason. It’s the least she could do because her parents couldn’t step up and give her a little more money for her work. She says that once you turn eighteen, she’ll get you a job at the fabric store she works at, and she’ll make sure that you’re well taken care of.

You know she doesn’t mean to, but sometimes she makes you sad.

“Okay, all done.” She says, “Maybe sit in front of an open window so it dries faster.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She grabs your face to press a kiss to your forehead, “Be ready in an hour.”

“I will.” You smile.

You wander back to your room, or rather the room you share with your sister. You prop open the window, and instantly a warm breeze comes through the air. It’s a shame the Hunger Games takes place in the middle of summer. It’s the only time of year you genuinely enjoy, and it’s ruined by the Capitol.

You sit on the edge of your bed, staring out the window. One minute turns to ten, and you’re sure that you should get up and get your shoes on, at the very least, but you don’t move. You can’t get your eyes to focus either, no matter how hard you try.

There’s something wrong, you’re not usually this drained before the reaping.

You blink slowly, turning your head away from the window to look at your room. Your mouth screws, and you force yourself up to pull on your shoes. You go back to sitting on your bed when you’re done, playing with a string on your bedsheets. 

Your sister comes into the room soon after, already dressed and hair done. She briefly looks at you before getting to her knees to play with her toys. It doesn’t last long until she sets them down and looks at you, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You glance at her, and then at the window.

“Oh, well,” She shrugs, “I had a dream last night that you got reaped.”

“Don’t say stuff like that.” Your face twists, finally coming back to life, “Especially not to mom.”

She doesn’t say anything, playing with her dolls. The two of you sit in here for another thirty minutes, before your mom is collecting you to leave. You close the window in the bedroom, and briefly check on the state of your hair in the bathroom. It’s not perfect, you knew it wouldn’t be, but it looks good enough. Your mom nods in approval.

The five of you leave the house, heading to the District Four Justice Building. You’re not the only family heading that way, most of the neighborhood is leaving too, all on foot. Cars are also a luxury for the rich, but even they’re too expensive for the victors.

When you reach the area where you need to sign in, your mom kisses your forehead, and then your dad does too in the same spot. She then reaches over and redirects your chin upwards, “With beauty and grace, (Y/n).”

“I know. I’ll see you guys in a little bit.” You smile.

Your sister is barely eligible for the games this year, she’s just turned twelve. You watch as your parents repeat the process with her. Your brother’s got another three years before it’s his turn to experience the reaping. You hold your hand out for your sister to take to guide her through the process.

You get signed in first, and then wait nearby to watch her first time with a reaping day peacekeeper. They pass her easily, and she hurries to stick close. Inside the fenced area are hundreds of girls and boys, all varying in age. You bring her to the back, where the twelve section is.

“I’ll see you right after, okay?” You fix her hair.

“Okay.” She agrees.

You move down the aisle to the front, where the other seventeen year old girls are gathering. It’s fairly empty up here, allowing you to pick a spot without blocking anyone else’s view. You’re not sure if they’d mind anyway. When you were younger, you’d use the older teenagers to block the stage’s view of you, afraid of them picking you just because they felt like it.

You let out a breath, and raise your head.

Most of the chairs on the stage are filled by the regular occupants, like the mayor, and your Capitol escort. In the other chairs sit the victor’s that District Four has had over the past sixty-seven years, there’s four of them.

Mags Flanagan, she’s the oldest victor up there because she’s the first victor of District Four. To the right of her sits Muscida, another female victor, she’s younger than Mags by a good twenty years. The next in line is Librae, she’s in her thirties. And the very last and recent victor is the only male that Four has had so far, and that’s Finnick Odair.

He broke the record for the youngest victor, previously it was fifteen, but he set it at fourteen. It’s going to be an impossible record to beat, since every thirteen year old that goes inside of an arena is dead within the first to third day. They never last past the first week.

Finnick’s the same age as you are. You used to be really good friends with him, since his family lived in the same neighborhood as you, and you went to the same school together. After he won, they all moved into Victor’s Village, and you never really had the same friendship as you did before.

You tried to be normal, for his sake. At school, you saw how everyone else was treating him and figured that he’d want things to go back to normal. You could see past his arena-self, considering he did what he had to in order to survive. You guess that he couldn’t handle it anyway, because eventually the two of you stopped talking, and then he stopped coming to school in general.

Despite now living in two different areas of District Four, you still manage to see him every year at the reaping. You can’t imagine what it’s like mentoring, especially since he had no choice when it comes to the job. The district requires one male and one female mentor. You think you’d go insane.

Briefly, Finnick looks up, and manages to catch your eyes. They’re gone in the same second.

Right as the big clock hits ten thirty, the mayor steps up to the podium to start giving the Dark Days speech. After hearing it so many times, you’re sure that you could recite this in your sleep without missing a beat. It’s the same speech, nothing changes to the script. You’re forced to stand here and listen to him drone about it.

And when he’s done, the Capitol escort steps up to the microphone. She’s dressed in bright colors, and has a wide grin on her face. You guys have had her for the past two years, you think you preferred the man before her. He was less peppy and seemed to realize the monstrosity he was committing by selecting children to fight to kill each other.

“Happy Hunger Games!” Her accent gives you a headache, “And may the odds be ever in your favor. We’ll start with ladies first.”

She wanders over to the girls’ glass bowl with thousands of slips inside of it. Only five of them should have your name on it. You suck in a breath between your teeth, holding it while she picks a slip from the middle. She holds it up in the air, a folded piece of white paper held shut by black tape. She then moves over to the microphone, shimmying her shoulders in excitement as she unfolds the paper.

She takes in a breath, a smile overcoming her face, “(Y/n) (L/n).”

You can feel the air leave your lungs, lips parting as you struggle to intake air. Somewhere out there behind the rope, you think you can hear your mother’s anguished scream. Several heads swivel to find you, hands balled into tight fists to distract from the jelly feeling in your legs.

Move.

You step out of the seventeen section and into the aisle, where the peacekeepers immediately come to your side to guide you to the stage. You press your lips together, head falling to look at your shoes, when you’re suddenly reminded of her gesture. You raise your chin and start down the path, trying to appear brave.

The Capitol escort’s got this smirk on her face, you look away from her and to the stairs, which feel almost impossible to take. One at a time, you’re raised until you’re on the same level as they are. She guides you next to the microphone, and you plant your feet there, eyes wide as you stare off into the crowd. A large sea of bodies, too many to fit in the square, so they fill the streets and alleyways nearby.

You take in deep breaths through your nose to contain the tears that want to take over your body. You don’t even realize she’s called the boy's name until she’s demanding that you two shake hands. You turn, and find a boy from the sixteen section. His hands are wet when you touch them, and he looks like he’s going to puke. 

The Panem anthem then plays, and as soon as it’s finished, you’re pushed to go inside of the Justice Building. They bring you to a vacant room, where you’re left to pace and wait for your family to come. You only had one more year of this until you were free, you just had to get reaped at seventeen.

The door swings open, and in comes your family, your mother rushing to hold you tightly. She squeezes the air out of you, letting out a quiet sob, “Why didn’t you tell me that your sister had a dream that you’d be reaped?”

“Because you’d react this way.” You murmur, hugging her back. Your dad comes over to stroke your hair. “It’s okay, mom.”

“You must be good.” She says, pulling away to hold your face, “You must show them that you’re wonderful. You can do that.”

“I can, because I learned from you.” You agree, “It’ll be alright.”

Your brother and sister wander over, both of them with tears in their eyes. You hug them tightly, promising that you’ll be home soon. The peacekeepers come back, telling you that your time with your family is up. Your mom insists on pressing a kiss to your forehead, the same with your dad, before they leave.

“You’ll be good.” She tells you, “Tell me that you’ll be good.”

“I’ll be good, mom.”

It’s a few minutes before they take you and bring you to a car to transport you to the train station quickly. You chew on the inside of your cheek while staring at the window, continuing to take breaths to calm yourself. The station is crowded with reporters when you get there. You avoid the cameras and head inside of the train, where the doors shut behind you, and the train begins to move.

You let out the breath of air that you’ve been holding.

“Congratulations!” The escort says, you eye her warily.

“On what?” Your counterpart asks, “On our death sentence?”

A frown comes over the escort’s face. You can hear a familiar laugh, and he shows himself a second later. Finnick’s got this smirk on his face, “What did I tell you about congratulating the tributes? It’s insulting.”

“Regardless of what you think,” she suddenly hisses, “It’s required of me to do.”

Finnick raises his eyebrows, “Right. Why don’t you take Landon to his room?”

She presses her lips together, “Fine, let’s go you two—”

“No, I need a second with (Y/n). We need to talk.”

The way Finnick speaks is so much different from what you remember. He was never this direct with people, he had a tendency to beat around the bush to avoid hurting feels. It has something to do with the confrontation aspect of it, and he never wanted the drama of having a rivalry.

Now he seems like he doesn’t care. He stares at the escort, waiting for her to object, but she must think that it’s not worth it, because all she does is shake her head at him before leading Landon off.

He turns to you with a toothy smile, “I’m going to pay for that later.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” You laugh.

Without saying it out loud, the two of you gravitate for a hug at the same time. You squeeze him tightly, letting out a slight laugh. The last time you talked to him was three years ago. So much can change in such a short amount of time. You probably don’t even know him anymore.

“I just wanna say I’m sorry.” He begins, pulling away, “After the games—”

“I don’t blame you, Finnick. How can I?”

“I don’t know, we were close. We grew up together, I thought you’d be angrier.” He rubs the back of his neck, “I tried with the whole school thing, but no one treated me normally except for you. And I thought it would be enough but there was that one week where you got sick and I had to do it all alone. I couldn’t, I didn’t even make it through the week.”

“I know. You did what you had to do. And you seem to be doing better now than you were before, right?”

He nods, eyes falling to the carpet flooring, “Yeah, something like that. It sucks that it took you getting reaped for me to say something.”

“I’m happy you’re talking to me at all.” You tilt your head, “If you wanna make up for it, though, you’ll make sure that I’m set up to win.”

Finnick’s eyes meet yours, a mischievous grin crossing his face, “Oh, you have no idea the wonders I can work for you.”

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair x reader #thg #the hunger games #requested #fluff

[w1ldthoughts]

The Forgotten One Chapter Two:

Love on the Brain

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Description of injuries, medical procedures and a slight mention of an experience with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

A/n: This story will be emotional and reference a lengthy healing journey. I did do research on the medical side of things but some things needed to be tweaked for fictional and entertainment purposes.

Three days after the accident is when he saw you for the first time. Clay and his dad helped him out of bed and his mom wheeled him next door to your room. Both of your parents were there, standing up to give him a hug and asking how he was feeling, like everyone had been doing every hour since he woke up.

“Have they come in to give you any updates?” He asks immediately when they stepped aside, allowing him to see you. The sight in front of him almost rendered him physically sick. Although you were no longer intubated or on the ventilator and you were breathing on your own, you still hadn’t woken up. A fat purple bruise surrounded your left eye and another one called the upper part of your right arm its home. “Why is her leg propped up?” Jack croaks out, not daring to take his eyes off of you.

The doctor comes in before anyone else in the room can answer. “It’s nice to see you out and about Mr. Harlow. Miss [your last name] is recovering from an endovascular embolization. She had a subarachnoid hemorrhage that was very small and we were able to make an incision in the groin to access an artery and thread it through to the desired area. The entire procedure only took about 25 minutes and we were able to successfully close the blood vessels and stop the bleeding.”

“Now, we just wait and see. Her brain and body have had time to rest and recover so when she wakes up, which we are hoping will be sometime in the next few days, that’s when we’ll know the severity of the injury.”

Five days after the accident, Jack was discharged from the hospital and was forced to go home and shower. The house was eerily silent as he left Clay and Urban downstairs so he could get ready and grab his stuff. He closed his eyes, battling to settle his breathing as he stood under the water. There were flashes of that night, the feeling of his body being violently jerked around from side to side, the sheer feeling of horror at his inability to control the situation. Even though he knew it was irrational, he blamed himself. And he found himself trembling, letting the tears flow freely as he steadied his shivering body by placing his hands on the wall in the midst of the hot stream beating down his back.

He didn’t want to do any of this without you and he was deathly afraid that he might have to.

“Do you remember when we first met?” He asks you, holding one of your hands in both of his, after your family had given him some time alone. The doctors had encouraged people to come in and speak with you, both for your sake and theirs. Jack was ready to take any opportunity he could to connect with you, from wherever you currently were. “I definitely remember the first time I saw you. The new HR Executive fresh out of school, playing babysitter to the head of the division, bringing him his favorite gummy bears and getting his coffee and other useless shit.”

Six years earlier…

You were really starting to hate your dream job. Both you and Cleo, your new best friend as a result of your shared trauma, were hired as assistant human resource officers for the head of the HR department Grant Young. The two of you affectionately called him “cabbage patch” because his features reminded you of a Cabbage Patch Kid. When you weren’t updating company policies or making sure that employees were actually getting the benefits that were promised to them, you and Cleo were cabbage patch’s errand girls. There was less and less human resource management and more picking up dry cleaning and walking his dogs.

“It’s feeling like we’re lap dogs and not actual employees. My business degree is going to waste and I swear to God if I pick up another bag of dog poop I’m going to smear it all over that man’s desk.” Cleo cries into her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “We are severely underpaid and working way too hard on things that are not our actual jobs y/n. I’m sick of it.”

“I’m not the biggest fan of our arrangement either but we have to pay our dues. Maybe he will realize that our talent is being wasted and it’ll—

Your phone rings, interrupting the pep talk.

“Hello? Yes Mr. Young, of course I can. I’ll be right up.”

Cleo rolls her eyes. “What does the warden want from you now?”

“Headmaster is in a meeting with the CEO and needs me to grab the summary report that he printed off. Because God forbid he come prepared to these things.” You sigh, taking one more bite if your food before making your exit. “I’ll be back.”

“Tell the CEO I said hi. I’ve seen pictures of him on billboard around the city and holy fuck he’s fine.”

Shaking your head with a small laugh, you tell her “I’ll let him know you’re single, see how that goes.”

The first thing you heard when you made your way up to the 18th floor is a booming voice.

“Do you honestly think that this is okay? You’re wasting my fucking time here, Grant.” The voice exclaims.

“Mr. Harlow you don’t understand. My aunt, she’s very sick and I’m going to need to fly home for foreseeable future to be with her.”

The voice lets out a deep, exasperated sigh. “You can have as much time as you need. And pack up your shit while you’re at it. We’re done here.”

“W—Wait,” your boss stutters, “you can’t be serious. I—I love this job and I need it. Please, just let me make it up to you when I come back, I’ll have my assistants take care of everything and—”

“Grant. You’re done here. I’ll give you an hour to clear everything out. You’re free to go, please close the door on your way out. Matter fact, I’ll walk you out.” You can hear the sound of the wheels on the chair rolling around. Mr. Young is near tears when the door is open and your ice meet these icy blue ones that immediately had you looking at the floor, the air in the hallway suddenly felt a little stuffier. He stopped you as you turn to follow your now former boss down the stairs. “Did you need something?” His voice was still tense, a subtle angry vein popping out of his neck as he took a breath.

“Um, sorry sir. I just brought the summary sheets that Mr. Young asked for.” You handed him the sheet and he gently grabbed it out of your shaky hand.

He gave a dry chuckle. “Please, call me Jack. And what should I call you, summary sheet girl?”

I’d rather call you a dickwad, you thought to yourself. “I’m y/n.” You replied dryly. “I should get going, have a great day Mr. Harlow.” Giving him a tight lipped smile, you pushed the button on the elevator, hitting your head on the wall at the thought of working for an actual demon from hell. What kind of person fires someone over taking time off for a sick family member?

“Do you remember that day in the hall? You looked at me like I was a monster. Hated me for the next year. Maybe even a little more. And then we made fun of him over dinner some time after when you found out his aunt Joan gets sick around the same time every year and it was actually code for ‘I’m going to play in a golf in Santa Monica.’” He laughed, getting a little choked up. “Y/n I—I can’t lose you. I’m not strong enough for that. Baby, you gotta wake up. You have to because—” one of his hands came up to cover his mouth as he cried.

There was no movement from you on the bed. He hoped that it would be like the movies, he’d be sobbing at your bedside and you'd open your eyes and reassure him that everything would be okay. But it didn’t happen. He sniffed and grabbed a Kleenex to wipe his nose and took a minute to collect himself.

He took hold of your hand again and held it against his cheek. “You need to wake up because I love you. I need to propose and I need to do it right so I can spend all of eternity getting on your nerves and we can ride off into the sunset together.”

“So please,” he whispers, his bottom lip quivering, “please don’t leave me.”

Eight days after the accident your hospital room could compete with any florist within a 30 mile radius. It could also double as a balloon store. Any and every visitor you had brought a gift. Urban even tried to sneak in a few edibles for you when you were awake but your boyfriend told him not to. And then Clay left the room crying because he wanted his sister back and that was another jab to your boyfriend’s chest.

He was sitting in your room with Cleo absentmindedly scrolling through the tv channels after begging your parents to go to his house and sleep in actual beds for a few hours. Everyone was running on fumes, having literally memorized every square inch of your hospital room floor so it was necessary to take a break from it for a while and get some air. Cleo stood up to rearrange the mountain of presents near the window. She dropped a box of chocolate on the floor and the two swore they saw you move at the sound. And then she saw it, your hand moved.

“Y/n? Can you hear me?” Cleo rushes out, her thoughts of organizing long gone. They waited a bit for another sign, something—anything.

And then your eyes slowly fluttered open and you gave Cleo a warm smile. Jack let out a breath of relief, sitting at the side of the bed and wiped at the fresh set of tears that made their way down his face at the sight of you.

You gave him a look of bewilderment when he sat down. “Cleo…” you whisper, “why is our boss’s boss here?”

He felt like the room was spinning and he was going to pass out. Cleo immediately pressed the call button to alert the staff while Jack got on the phone to let your family know you were awake. They had already been heading back so they arrived a few minutes later, meeting the doctors as they examined you.

Dr. Byers led your parents and Jack outside to deliver the news. Cleo stayed behind to keep you company. “Physically, she’s recovering nicely as we hoped. A bit ahead of schedule even. But she has still suffered an intense trauma to the brain and is suffering from what is most likely post traumatic amnesia where her mind is protecting her from remembering the pain of the accident. It seems to have also erased the last few years of her life.”

“Will she—is she ever going to remember everything?” Your mom asks, looking towards Jack in a way that reeked of pity. Something he’d never experienced before.

“It depends on the situation, sometimes people recover their memories all at once, or in short bursts. It could take a few months, years or not at all. You’ll just have to be patient with her.”

Meanwhile you were nursing a minor headache and a shock to the system. “Me and Jack? Together? Like…together together?” You asked with surprise lacing your tone, rubbing your temples. Maybe you should’ve just stayed asleep.

Just as Cleo was about to respond, your family came in and showered you with love as Jack stood behind them unsure of what to do. Your best friend took him downstairs to grab a coffee and take a walk.

He came back an hour later and let you know he was leaving and that he had to see you in person to let everyone at work know that you were awake and doing better. You stopped him before he could head out the door.

“Cleo told me why you’re really here. Four years Jack? We’ve been together for four fucking years? That means the last thing I remember is from five years ago.” You felt your throat closing up. “I’m so sor—”

“You better not be apologizing to me about a traumatic brain injury that you didn’t ask for.” He states with a dry laugh. “None of this is your fault, okay? None of it. And don’t worry about anything, we’ll figure it out as we go. Cleo’s here, your family is here and I’ll be here for you as well, in any capacity you’re comfortable with.”

Jack sat in the chair next to your bed and continued, “I don’t want you to think that we have to be in a relationship just because that’s what you were told. We can just take life one day at a time.”

Taglist

@killatravtramp

@jackharloww

@harlowcomehome

@middlechild404

@iknowdatsrightbih

@itsyagirljaz

@alimaythings

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagine #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow au

[nescaveckwriter]

Paintbrushes And Romance 🥰🐞 - Part 13

Dean x Fem/Reader

Part 13🥰🐞

A/N: This might be triggering for people suffering from PTSD!💓 Side Note: thank you all so much for the support. Much love, my bugsies 🥰🐞

Warnings: hospital scenes, trigger warnings, sadness, violence, swearing, PTSD triggers, mentions of suicidal tendencies, 🥹

......

The rising and falling of your chest, the sweat on your forehead, there's blood dripping down your face, your heart rate is going 100miles per second, there's a shadow coming closer, the walls are caving in, the floor is shaking, there's a loud noise coming from the shadow, that's when you feel the bullet piercing through your leg, the pain, falling to the ground, you see the shadow coming closer and closer , you can't make out his face, in his hands is a bonesaw, his laughter fills your ears, when he said, I've got you know, its him, I thought you were dead, Luke please don't ... NO!!

You scream, while opening your eyes, searching for the man, your in your bedroom, you look to the right side of the bed, seeing Dean's concern, his green eyes wide, his voice low, when he said, I tried to wake you sweetheart it's just another nightmare, your safe, I promise.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you! Your voice Breaking.

"Sweetheart, it's okay, how do you feel? What can I do?

Looking into his emerald eyes, silent tears down your cheeks, your voice, shaky, when you say, make it stop, please make it stop. I can't do this anymore, please.

"Sweetheart come here, he pulls you to his chest, you can hear his heart beating, his arms cradling you, his chin resting on your head, his voice filled with sadness, I wish I could baby, I would take this pain you carry, and wear it for you, I'll take the hurt you feel and throw it in the deepest ocean so that all these feelings never come too the surface again.

The two of you, just sat like that, feeling him close always made you feel safe, the sun rising gave the two of you, the permission to get untangled and start your day.

Not speaking of what happened during the night, you get up, to get ready for the day, before walking out of the room, the gigantic teddy bear your brother gave you, catches your eye, bringing your thoughts back to about eight months ago.

After your physical therapy, you got the okay to return to your home, of course the doctors gave you a great psychologist number who specializes in trauma, you've started seeing her quite a few times in the few weeks you spent in the hospital recovering.

The first time when you actually were able to take a shower yourself, you just stood in front of the mirror, trying to figure out if what you saw were real. This beaten and bruised body, was it really yours, you just stood there for what seemed like hours, looking at yourself, replaying everything that happened, for every bruise, or open cut, you could recall, the kicking, the punches, him throwing you around, the strange thing though, there was no tears streaming down your face, no fear, in all freaking honesty you didn't feel a thing. You quickly covered yourself when your mom entered the bathroom, she just wanted to check on you, see if you are doing alright, irritation clear in your voice when you told her your doing just fine and your almost done, damnit that wasn't needed you cursed yourself. But you didn't want to show this broken version of yourself to anyone, least of all your mom.

You didn't really talk to them, about what happened not even Dean, you just wanted to move on like nothing happened, despite the fact that you knew it wasn't the right way of doing things, but that was what you needed to do.

When you got home, your place still looked the same. Like nothing changed, if gave you a feeling of normalcy.

Your parents offered that you should stay with them, but you just nicely declined and said you missed your little home, Joe offered to stay with you, but you said no, not needed, he had a life of his own to return to. Besides you were really doing good.

That night you just sat on the couch, trying to get Luke's face out of your mind, but that didn't seemed to work, you nearly scared yourself to death, when someone knocked at the door, when you went to see who it was, you saw those piercing green eyes and a heartwarming smile greet you, saying I've got your favourite pizza , you hungry sweetheart.

You and Dean just sat on the couch, eating the pizza, talking about nothing really, just finding comfort in each others presence. It became a regular thing, he'd stay the night, helping you feel safe, comforting you whenever you had one of those bad dreams, with the occasional loving forehead kiss, but it wasn't the same as before, the two of you haven't gotten intimate yet, nor have the two of you kissed or said that you love each other, it didn't really seem to bother either of you. But deep down you sure as hell knew it weren't right.

You threw yourself into work, painting made you feel good, but your art has gotten darker, and well as for writing the novel you were working on, it didn't feel right, it didn't feel like its what you wanted to write about, this happy, sappy, romance shit, where everything works out, that's not how life works!

Weekly appointments at the psychologist is the only time you went out of the house, in your own car of course, no damn way your getting into a freaking cab again. You haven't started teaching art at the church again, as a matter of fact you haven't been there since that day. Cas had come to visit you a few times inviting you, to go to church, and every time you'll make some poor excuse of why you can't make it.

And as for your best friend, Eileen she comes to visit you, talking about the college program she started and how that's going, and your truly happy for her, but you just can't bring yourself to be so joyful and excited as you would have been, in the past.

The last time your mom was visiting she, said that you were losing a lot of weight, you just said she was imagining things, but in all damn honesty, it showed in your clothing, your clothes has gotten more and more baggier, and as for your appetite, you ate because you needed to stay alive.

You've changed so much over this time, and nothing seems to be working, you just can't seem to get all this shit out of your mind, and then there's sweet Bobby the one person that really know what you went through, you haven't seen or spoken to him since that first time he came to check on you in the hospital.

At first when the nurse pushed him closer to your bed, you thought the doctors were just being cautious, but it turns out, with Luke kicking him and throwing him around, he got a spinal cord injury which caused paralysis from his lower torso area, down to his legs and feet.

You could see the anger, sadness and pain he hid in his eyes , even though the smile he gave everyone was warm and loving. Not either one of you spoke about what happened, how close to accepting death the two of you came, the two of you, just shared little jokes and sarcastic comments about the hospital food and why they didn't serve damn burgers or steak.

Damnit you just can bring yourself to pick-up the damn phone and call him, you feel just to damn guilty about him getting so hurt, all while knowing its not your fault but you just can't help it.

You feel so damn guilty about everything, not being the daughter you should be, the sister, the friend, or hell the girlfriend Dean deserves, but it seems so much and yet also while it feels so little, you want them all to know how you feel and yet you completely shutdown when anyone asks you about anything.

What the hell is wrong with me, I'm a complete damn mess! Your thoughts get interrupted by a loud banging noise, before you know it, your in a defense position, cradling your legs, crying, screaming, words that doesn't even make sense.

....

He comes running to the kitchen, saying sorry babe, I accidentally knocked over the dustbin when I rushed to get dressed. Babe? Its fine it was just... He couldn't even finish his sentence, because the sight of her cradling her legs, hearing her cry and screaming something that was muffled because of her head she hid so deep into her legs, made him stop in his tracks, the freaking pain of seeing her like this, destroyed him.

He walked closer to her, putting his her hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer to him, she started punching against his chest, with both hands, she just cried, her tears streaming down her beautiful face. Babe it's okay, I'm sorry I scared you. She just kept crying and kept punching him, but the little punches didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing her in so much pain.

The words that came out of her mouth scared him more than any gun fight or crime scene he'd ever experienced in his life. Her voice shaky and broken when she said, "I just want to die, I want all this to be over, why didn't I just die that day, why?"

He couldn't help it, the anger raised in his voice, what the hell are you saying?

I'm saying it would be better if I would be gone. Her voice underlined with anger and bitterness.

"Don't say that he said"

It's the damn truth Dean, I'm not me anymore, I'm broken and bruised, I'm a damn fragile little thing that can't even go through one day, without wishing about... She stops, she bites her bottom lip.

"What! Say it damnit, the anger and hurt visible on his face.

Fine! Wishing about dying, wishing you weren't such a coward that just left me, when things weren't as easy for you Dean!

"Surprisement in his voice, what? Hell I knew it you blamed me for being taken don't you!

"I can't deal with all this shit Dean, I can't even fix myself how the hell am i suppose to fix you? Fix us?

I never asked you to fix me, damnit, I'm trying my best to help you, in every way that I can, his voice a little more shaky. You need help, your PTSD is worse than I thought.

"Fire dancing in her eyes, the only thing I need is for you to get the hell away from me. Its all your fault damnit!

His green eyes is bloodshot with the wetness burning behind them, just looking at her, she's not that same joyful woman he met and fallen in love with. She's overtaken by fear, sadness and hatred for him. She's merely an image of someone he used to know. It looks like her, when he holds her close it still feels like her, but it doesn't sound like her. He tries to calm his own voice, when he said, lets get you too your psychologist and then you can explain them everything okay sweetheart.

"I'm not your damn sweetheart, and I'm not going anywhere,! Her voice just filled with anger now!

I'm worried you might hurt yourself babe. His voice laced with fear.

"Sharp angry tone in her voice when she says, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW! NOW DAMNIT!!!

He just stood there, looking at her, not knowing what to do.

"Now Damnit she screamed while pushing him backwards.

"Fine, his voice Breaking I'll go, but you need help. I'll call your mum. He says while grabbing his car keys and phone. Closing the door behind him he hears her throwing stuff on the floor, while screaming in frustration. Not wanting to push her further over the edge he got in his car and started driving off, grabbing his phone, deciding not to call Caroline, he dials his best friends number. Cas, I need your help, it's it's his voice breaking now, its bad, I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself...

....

I probably shouldn't have said all that, for goodness sakes I don't even know why I did, I don't really blame Dean, damnit, you screamed, shoving off the plates and coffee filled mugs of the counter top, tears streaming down your face.

My mom can't see me like this, you recall the words Dean said. No one can see me like this. You ran upstairs, grabbed a suitcase, threw in whatever you could find, and make your way downstairs, before taking your car keys, you wrote a note, ran out of the door, and just started, driving, not quite sure where your headed, but I need to get away from all of this, saying with a shaky breath, and tears clouding your eyes, speeding onto the main road out of town...

#spotify #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #jared padalecki #jensen ackles x reader #sam and dean #benny lafitte #castiel spn #dean winchester imagine #eileen leahy

[avionvadion]

Oh nooo, I'm so sorry about that :( I can understand what it must've been like, while I don't have asthma I've been in that kind of position before due to other reasons (pneumonia for one) AND on top of cramps?! oof 😔 I'm surprised you were able to get up to take a shower in the first place. Glad you're okay now, and hopefully there's no pressing matters to attend to in the coming days because you need lots and lots of rest and cool down time to recover physically and mentally from this *hugs*

Getting in was the easy part. I’m very stubborn. I just kinda looked a bit like a gremlin as I did so. 🤣

The hard part was getting out of the shower once the dizzy spell and asthma attack started. Each step felt like a step closer to blacking out. I’m pretty sure I knocked something over when I went to grab my rescue, but I haven’t gotten up yet to check what. 😭

Even the dog was freaking out- he refused to leave the office until I was okay and according to my grandma he kept walking over and glancing into my room when I was laying down on my bed. I haven’t had an attack this bad in… maybe two years? I get asthma attacks pretty often, especially with my anxiety, but them being this bad is pretty rare.

I haven’t had cramps this bad in a while either. Last time I knew they were there, but they didn’t really bother me, they were just sort of a nuisance, but this time it was just awful.

But yeah. I don’t have any plans. My grandma and I are hermits so we don’t go anywhere, and since I can’t physically work anymore I don’t have a job ☠️ so I’ll probably just be grumpily sleeping the week away and/or playing Fe:Fates until the cramps are gone. My dad is gonna freak though when he finds out. If my grandma didn’t get home when she did, or I had taken my shower just a few hours earlier- who knows what could’ve happened?

Anyway. My grandma wants to go grocery shopping tomorrow, and if I’m still feeling awful she’s gonna be calling him over to babysit me for the one hour she’ll be gone. Which will be when he finds out. 😅 He lives like ten minutes away, and he doesn’t work anymore either because of his lung issues- he’s literally a househusband for my step-mom who’s the money maker- and he doesn’t make plans very often unless she’s involved. So. That’s a thing.

Thank you for the hug! 💕💕💕

Sorry I rambled so much. 😅

#ask #asthma

[glassesmcfancyhair]

Someone who grew up in a culture like Teyla’s would likely have a very efficient and well-known method for carrying infants and keeping your hands free.

#stargate atlantis #teyla emmagan #she specifically states in one episode that athosian women often remain very active during pregnancy #and we can assume that would continue into early childhood for mom #they’re agricultural and seem to have no cultural distinction of gender #in so much as it looks like everyone works to their capacity and men and women seem to do the same jobs #because even if mom is resting it wouldn’t surprise me if it child rearing was one of those communal things for them #so new babies get passed around between adults so everyone can get stuff done #and mom can recover and rest and be able to take a shower when she needs to #so teyla carrying torren everywhere like she does annoys me #because I feel like a capable practical athosian woman like her would have torren strapped to her chest while she goes about her day

[nashibirne]

Congrats on your milestone!! Love your writing and since you're doing the whole "milestone party" I would like to ask if you could write something about reader and first baby. It could be something like them being very happy in the beginning, anxious by the end of the pregnancy but in the first weeks after the baby is born everything being caotic, the reader is stressed and sometimes they fight for something silly and it could have a happy ending, maybe he preparing a special surprise for her, some smut and they kinda "reconnect"... I don't mind if it gets too big, I would appreciate if you like the idea, It can be sy or walter, their POV, the reader can have a name too if you'd like. Thank you so much and congratulations again 🎉🥳

Here comes the second fic for my milestone celebration 🥳

Dear nonie, thank you so much for your prompt 💜 I love it and it made me think of Walter and his bumblebee from my fic Closer immediately. So I hope you don't mind I made this a follow up.

I tried to include all your wishes and I hope you like the struggles, the fluff and the smut.

🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲

MAYBUG

Pairing: Walter Marshall x reader

Summary: Walt and his wife are stressed out and enjoy a little escape. Follow-up to Closer

Words: ~ 1.8 k

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, 18+, Sex (p in v), fingering, dirty talking, kinda light breeding kink, masturbation, mentioning of sex toys and voyeurism, mentioning of problematic birth

UNBETA'ED! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…

Credits: pics for the header from pinterest.

I don't own Walter Marshall (unfortunately)

If you like this story, check out my masterlist!

***********

I'm sure it wasn't so stressful with Faye when she was a baby. She was a whirlwind, challenging her mum and me 24/7 as soon as she was able to walk but I'm pretty sure in the first year she was a little angel, not doing much more than sleeping, eating and lulling us into a false sense of security, making us think the peace would last forever.

Maybe it's gonna be the other way round with our little maybug. A chaotic first year and all the peace afterwards.

We've been on an emotional rollercoaster ride for almost two years now. Y/n stopped taking the pill shortly after our engagement and a few months before our wedding. I couldn't wait to get her pregnant, our sex life was great at that time, we did it as often as possible, having the time of our lives, enjoying each other and our deep connection. When my little bumblebee finally surprised me with a positive pregnancy test after 8 months of very intense trying, we were both beyond happy and completely over the moon and besides the usual pregnancy-related worries and difficulties everything went well.

That was until y/n went into labor and suddenly everything turned out to be very different from what we both had wished for. There was no calm atmosphere, no peaceful water birth but a lot of stress and anxiety instead when unexpected complications occured. I wasn't solid as a rock for her, I was a nervous wreck and very disappointed in myself but my wonderful wife was incredibly tough, fighting to be strong for both of us with fierce determination. She was no bumblebee that night, she was a hornet. In the end she had an emergency c-section and our little boy was born after almost 24 hours of labour on a mild Saturday night in May. When we finally held this perfect, beautiful little bundle of life in our arms all pain and fear was forgotten and we cried together for joy and gratefulness.

Now, six months later, we're still very happy, enjoying our family life and our time together. I've stepped back from work a little, doing office work mostly, staying away from the time consuming major cases. It's hard sometimes to be condemned to just watch my colleagues working in the front-line but I know it's worth it. I don't want to make the same mistakes again, the mistakes that ruined my first marriage and jeopardized my relationship with Faye. Besides that y/n needs my support, although she would never admit it. Our little maybug suffers from colic and cries a lot so she's constantly sleep-deprived and on top of that she tortures herself with self-reproach because breastfeeding didn't work and our baby son only gets formula, which -in her eyes- is the reason for his regular pain. She's constantly stressed out, tense and oversensitive and we fight over the most silly things.

When she had a nervous breakdown the other day because she hadn't managed to cook dinner for me after another night without sleep and a whole day of trying to calm down a crying baby in pain, I decided it was enough, that she needed a break, I needed a break and maybe even our little muffin needed a break from his worn out parents. So after y/n had a good cry on my shoulder, listening to my comforting words that made her relax a little, I made her her favorite sandwich, sent her to bed after she'd enjoyed it and took our little boy on a ride. He likes it when we drive around in my truck, the sonorous sound of the engine has a soothing effect on him and eventually he stopped crying and fell asleep, just as exhausted as his mom. I got myself a burger from the drive-through, ate it in the parking lot and I came up with an idea for a little treat for me and my wife.

And now here we are, sitting in the huge tub in the bathroom of a luxurious hotel suite in our hometown, just 20 minutes away from our little boy who's staying with y/n's sister for the weekend. It wasn't easy to convince my wife that he's going to survive one night without us and that we really need some time for us but now, after a romantic candle light dinner and a special treatment afterwards she really seems to enjoy our little escape.

"God, Walt...you were right, I needed this. The food was delicious and your massage worked wonders. Thank you so much, papa bear."

She's sitting in front of me in the steaming hot water that smells like tropical flowers, her body covered with lush foam, her back resting against my chest, her butt between my spread legs, pressing against my cock.

"Well, it wasn't a Tantra massage but I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway." I press a kiss on her hair and hug her from behind. "I enjoyed it too, by the way. My hands all over your wonderful backside, that was very sexy," I whisper in her ear before I start to caress her breasts while kissing her neck. Damn, I love her tits, even more now after the pregnancy. They are so soft, so welcoming and warm, plus they are bigger than before, perfect for burying my face in them or for a filthy boob fuck.

Y/n moans softly under my touch and I go on, determined to make this date night unforgettable. After a while I let one of my hands glide over her belly, that wonderful part of her body that has carried our child and that is so smooth beneath my rough palm. I feel the stretch marks she hates so much but I kinda love them. They're like a map that shows what she's been through and what the female body is capable of. For her it's a flaw, when I look at it I see nothing but strength. With that thought I slip my hand between her legs, stroking her pussy, my fingers gliding through her swollen folds, provoking one of these drawn, hoarse moans that always escape her mouth when she likes what I'm doing and that turn me on so much. She cranes her neck to look at me and I bent my head to kiss her. The kiss is slow and sensual, tasting sweet and promising. I moan into her mouth, one hand on her tit, kneading it intensely, giving her erect nipple some extra attention with my thumb, one hand on her pussy. I keep on stroking her clit while we make out and she moves her hips, rolling them slowly against my rock-hard cock.

"You like that, baby?" I want to know, panting into her ear.

"I like it a lot…", y/n sighs, bucking her hips. I know exactly what she wants.

"How about that?" I stretch my arm, shifting my position a little to penetrate her slowly with two fingers, brushing them against her g-spot with light pressure.

"Fuck...Walt…"

Her moans are getting louder with each thrust into her cunt, her hips moving rhythmically. I stimulate her clit with my thumb and I can tell she's close, putty in my hands, a whimpering, panting mess and I love it.

"Mommy's still my little whore, right?" I ask, my voice rough and thick with arousal and desire, my dick throbbing, pressed against her ass. "Look at you, riding my fingers like the good girl you are. I love how that feels…"

I fingerfuck her harder and it doesn't take her long to cum with a loud moan, my name on her lips on top of her orgasm. She rides it out slowly, breathing heavily and I give her some time to recover before I grab her by her waist, lift her up and make her sit down on my cock. I can't wait another second, I need to feel her from the inside, her tight pussy stretching around my thick dick. She sighs when she easily sinks down on it, starting to ride me immediately, eagerly, greedy. She's still hungry, ready for more, giving me a hard time to pull myself together. I'd love to just rail her, to thrust into her cunt mercilessly to reach my own high but what I want even more is to see her come undone again, to make her fall apart on my dick, milking it when she cums again. So I hold her hips in a vice-like grip, pressing her down and she stops moving, waiting for me to take over. I let go of her hips and fuck her slowly, thrusting into her from underneath, caressing her tits, showering her shoulders with sloppy kisses.

She follows the rhythm and the pace I set and we both moan in unison. She reaches between her legs and starts touching herself which turns me on even further. I love watching her when she pleasures herself. She was a little hesitant about in the beginning of our relationship but when I even bought her some toys, she believed me that it was okay to masturbate in my presence, that it drove me absolutely wild to watch her, that I would fuck her like a predator after seeing her cum just by the touch of her own hands, using the toys I had chosen and allowed her to use. Today is no exception. Her soft moans and appreciative sighs are music to my ears and as soon as I fix my eyes on her fingers that circle her clit, while she strokes the shaft of my pounding cock with her other hand, I lose my shit.

I press her against my body and fuck her so hard and fast that the water spills all over the edge of the tub. She comes again shortly after I orgasm with a noise that's half grunt and half growl, arising deep from within my chest. My balls tighten and when I feel my cum shooting through my dick her pussy clenches around me and her body is trembling on top of mine. She cries out loud when I fill her up with my seed and I'm sure she knows that I imagine breeding her, when I keep on thrusting lightly, not pulling out even after we've both come down from our highs and my hard-on softens.

I know we still have to wait a few months till she gets pregnant again because her body needs time to heal but I guess it doesn't hurt to practice as often as we feel like it and to dream of adding another little bug to our family.

🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019 @pandaxnienke @littleone65 @coloraturadiva

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall #walter marshall x you #walter marshall smut #ask nashi #follower celebration #follower milestone

[losingitinjersey]

Happy due date, Aug! 

As you can see from the pictures, Erp and Aug met each other for the first time at the hospital!  My mom brought Erp over with her (you can tell she was dressed by her with the huge bow and fancy shoes) and it was SO GREAT to see my girl again!!  I’ve never had this much time away from her and I couldn’t get enough of her hugs and cuddles.  She was curious but cautious of her sister but continued to share her toys and books with her!  Although, every time Aug cried, Erp would shrink into herself and start crying as well, crawling into my arms for comfort.  My heart!  

On Friday at noon, 53 hours of being in the hospital and sitting in that increasingly uncomfortable bed, we were all packed up, dressed and ready to be discharged only to learn that Aug didn’t pass her hearing test on her left ear.  We were told we had to stay for four more hours for her to retake the test.  Defeated, disappointed and worried, we tucked in, napped and waited out those hours only to have her not pass a third time.  The hospital pediatrician wasn’t worried and said we’d just need to follow up with an audiologist in 4 to 6 weeks to see what’s going on.  By 6 p.m. that night, 59 hours in total at the hospital, we were finally on our way back home.  

We’ve now had over 24 hours at home with all five of us (my mom, Kevin, Erp, Aug and myself) and, I gotta say, I’m SO happy to be out of the hospital and adjusting to life at home.  

The first night at home (Friday the 13th) was rough.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted, desperate to create and cling to a routine that made sense.  But since Aug needs to feed every three hours (from the start of the feeding, and each feeding takes at least 30 minutes), there’s not much time in-between each session.  Kevin asked me if we could supplement with formula to give myself time to rest and not being responsible for each feeding but I refused.  Sure, my milk hasn’t come in yet but I wanted to do it all myself and work hard at feeding and getting my supply going through all the feedings.  I got maybe two hours sleep the first night.  

On Saturday morning, Kevin, Aug and I drove the hour and a half to our pediatrician in Norfolk to have her check out the babe.  She was very concerned about her weight loss and told us we need to immediately start supplementing with formula.  Like, had to do a bottle right there in the office in front of her and to give her 2oz of formula every three hours on top of breastfeeding. We have a follow-up appointment on Monday and Wednesday for weight-checks.  While I was disappointed to hear my girl, who was already a better at breastfeeding than Erp, wasn’t getting enough food.  Since this information was told to me by the pediatrician and not by my husband, I had no qualms about it and just want to make my girl healthy.  

The rest of the day went well.  I was able to nap AND shower!  First time in four days!  I was a new woman!  My mom asked me what she could buy me as a small gift of celebration - if I wanted a cake or ice cream or something.  Hands down, totally asked for a big dinner from Jersey Mike’s sub sandwiches.  Best decision ever.  That night my hormones got the best of me when my mom and Kevin decided to prioritize my sleep over everything else and basically sent me to bed at 9:30 p.m. telling me not to get back up until my shift at 6 a.m.  Oh, and also, that Kevin wanted Aug to try to sleep in her crib in the nursery with Erp (in her own crib) that night.  That decision was something I wasn’t ready to process and I tail-spinned from there.  I knew my hormones and lack of sleep were getting the best of me as I desperately tried to explain my feelings and try to help out more. Eventually, I just went to bed and hoped for the best, trusting my husband and mom were capable and just trying to do the best thing for me (even though *I* thought the best thing for me was to help out more, not sleep). (Also, the room sharing only lasted maybe five minutes before Aug started crying and needed to be removed from the room).  

Day three at home, Sunday/today, has been amazing so far.  Even though I was awake for two hours during the night, I did get a total of six hours and had a really great morning solo with Aug.  This was probably the most time she and I have spent one-on-one with each other and it was so needed.  I woke up at 6, by 6:30 I was breastfeeding her, by 7 I was feeding her a bottle.  By 7:30 she was down for a nap and I was pumping.  By 8 I got Erp up and loved having a solo morning with her, it was so good for us both!  By 8:30 I was finally able to make myself a delicious breakfast of avocado toast, fried eggs and french pressed coffee.  My mom was up at the same time so she was entertaining Erp while I got to eat in peace.  It was just the morning I needed.  Having that time with both girls one-on-one, but also at times together and having everything go well was so healing. 

Oh, and on top of everything else mentioned above, my feet have become horribly swollen thanks to the 3L of IV fluid pushed through my body and my face is incredibly puffy.  The breastfeeding cramps are brutal this time around and my nipples hate me. Desperately looking forward to a few weeks from now when, hopefully, my body has recovered more.  

Looking forward to continuing to find peace in structure and creating a routine that works well for us all.  While my free time is few and far between (especially when you throw in a very needy/grouchy cat into the mix who’s horribly being neglected despite my best efforts), I continue to find bright moments of joy in this new world of parenthood.  

#please don't reblog #momblr #erp is 19 months old #aug is four days old

[hopespeak-hs-hostclub]

Dirty Little Secret- NSFW Yasuhiro Hagakure One Shot

TW:// NSFW! 18+ ONLY.

Word Count: 1,510

One shot and request below cut!

Can you write a oneshot featuring Yasuhiro Hagakure practicing self bondage please? you can decide how he'd tie himself and what toys he'd use. But I'd like it if he was butt naked, his mouth covered by a multilayered cloth gag, was orgasming non stop, and he was unable to escape his bonds. I guess I'd like this to take place before the Tragedy when everyone was living normally. What if he did this in a closet in an empty classroom at Hope's Peak. He do it thinking that no one would be there. So he gets stuck in bondage and hears some of his classmates of your choosing enter the room. They wouldn't discover him but it does put him in a panic as he tries desperately to stay quiet and not orgasm.

Hopes Peak. A school that traditionally doesn’t care if the students actually attend class, or even learn for that matter, but actually encourage the students to “practice their talent” rather than get an education. Yasuhiro Hagakure is no exception that that by any means. His favorite times of the day are the classes he skips. He loves just sitting in the dining hall, goofing off, scamming reading his friend’s fortunes. But today was a little different. Hiro skipped his first class, like always. He just couldn’t be bothered, because why learn when you can just hang, right? But Hiro, although older than most of his classmates, is still a young guy. He has hormones and gets horny. And every once in a while it happens at school. Could be because of a girl he saw, or, like today, a video he watched in an empty class room. But Hiro kind of planned for this. He typically gets himself off at home- before class. It’s why he’s late so often. But another thing about Yasuhiro is that he loves his mom. So of course, when his mom tells him she wants to have breakfast with him, and drive him to school, he eagerly agreed. Which means he didn’t have any time to himself in the morning, which in turn meant he knew he’d have to take care of it during one of his skipped classes. So he grabbed what he knew he’d need and shoved it in his pockets and backpack as he headed out the door this morning. And that’s where Hiro’s at now. He sat in an empty classroom by himself, in the back. He just watched the hottest video he’s ever seen, and he had to do something about it now. Luckily, the classroom he was in wasn’t an active one. Nobody’s taught, or participated in a class in that room in years, and Hiro knew he would be alone completely… but just to be safe he decided Hiro had to lock himself in the classrooms supply closet. You never know who might wander in or why, and Hiro had to be sure.

Once Hiro had made his way into the closet and locked the door up, he knew he was completely safe from being caught, so he made a risky choice. Hiro quickly dumped the contents of his pockets and bag revealing a rope, some handcuffs, a new toy he’d just purchased over the weekend that he’s been eager to play with, and a handful of cloth gags that he layered over one another, inside and covering his mouth completely, leaving him biting a few, and a few others to muffle himself out. Yasuhiro knew he couldn’t risk getting caught, even though he knew the chances of somebody coming into that classroom were incredibly unlikely, and let’s face it he’s right at least 30% of the time, he knew he has to be careful. Hiro decided to start with, since he planned on tying his hands up somehow, he needed to start by putting the new toy into action. Hiro had recently purchased a two in one toy. It’s a vibrating cock ring, that has a butt plug on the backside. So, as Hiro gently slides the cock ring part over his already hard dick, the other half of the toy goes right up his ass. “Mm.. fck..” he mumbled through the layers of mask, very muffled and quiet. The next step was to remove the rest of his clothing, leaving him totally exposed. He had decided the best position to put himself in was with his wrist tied around the legs of the tall shelf in the closet. He brought the cuffs as well, but was incredibly nervous about not being able to undo those, so he just placed those above his head on the shelf for now.

Now with everything in place and ready, Hiro was ready.

He had positioned the remote to the vibrating ring in a way that he could easily press it behind his back with his hands tied, and once he did he was ready to go.

Hiro quickly gets incredibly hard, with the cock ring buzzing around the base of his now fully erect cock, and the plug part shoved straight up his ass, hitting his prostate perfectly. He decided to leave one hand completely free, so he could play with himself, and he did just that. Hiro immediately started pumping his dick, with such force that he’s lucky he had the gags, or he’d have been screaming otherwise. “Hmmm… fffuck…” hiro muttered under the mask, barely audible. He lifted himself off the floor just a little, before slamming back down onto it, making the plug ram into his prostrate with a lot of force and power. “NNNNNG!” Hiro cried out, in pleasure. With just a few more tugs to his dick, he thrust up into his hands one more time and immediately started cumming, even though it’s only been 5 minutes. The pleasure just became too much, and he’d came all over his chest and hands. He started panting heavily. “Hnmmm…” he whimpered in bliss. But he didn’t have any time to recover, as his dick was still rock hard, and the plug on his prostrate was making him feel like he could orgasm again at any given moment. Hiro had began to lightly play with himself, making him orgasm and cum all over himself once again. “Ahh! Hnnng!!” He cried out as he came everywhere. This repeated a few more times. He couldn’t stop himself from cumming, he felt so amazing.

In total, Hiro came 5 times by now. He was so sensitive, over stimulated, and almost sore but he couldn’t stop. It felt so good. He decided to stop touching himself for a second and just let the vibrator and butt plug do their thing, but as he did that he heard a noise. A click? Then he heard his greatest fear.

“Makoto, thank you for helping me with the homework today. Are you sure this class room isn’t being used?” Asahina asked, assumingely Makoto.

“Well of course! I don’t mind at all Asahina! And no, there haven’t been any classes held in here all year!”

“God this is a nightmare” Hiro whimpered in his head. He felt so fucking good right now, but he should’ve known better. Not only is he totally naked and can’t stop cumming, but his friends are literally right outside the door. He knows he can’t get caught, but he can’t stop. Without even meaning to he cums again and has to literally bite the gag and his tongue to keep himself from screaming out. He wants to stop but it feels too good.

20 more minutes pass, and Hiro’s sweaty, absolutely covered in his cum, with tears running down his face from trying so hard not to make a single noise, when he hears the best thing he’s ever heard.

“Okay! Thanks Makoto! You’re really the best!” Hina said joyfully.

“Don’t even worry about it Hina! That’s what I’m here for!” Makoto responded.

“Ffnk god..” hiro mumbled to himself as he heard their voices get further away. At this point he was so worn out he had to stop, but couldn’t risk getting caught so he had to wait a little while longer.

Exhausted and overwhelmed Hiro took everything off, quickly put his clothes back onto his filthy body, shoved all his toys and Ropes back into his bag and pockets, and ran to the shower room to clean up. As he was leaving the room and walking down the hallway, he passed Makoto who was headed back to the empty room. “Oh, hey Hiro! Where have you been today?” Makoto asked innocently.

“Oh.. uh.. just, catching up on some school work.. I just.. I gotta go though, sorry,” he said in a panic, still out of breathe as he ran the opposite direction.

After Yasuhiro had showered and cleaned himself off to the best of his ability he decided it was best to try and join his classmates for the remainder of the day to attempt to blend in. The whole day went normal and fine, until Makoto walked up to Hiro and pulled him to the side.

“Hey, uh, Hiro, after I saw you in the hallway before? I had to run to an empty classroom to grab a spare notebook for a project. And I .. found this,” Makoto said awkwardly not looking Hiro in the eyes. “You don’t have to say anything, but I’m almost certain they’re yours..” he dropped a pair of handcuffs into Hiro’s hands. “They were just sitting on the shelf..”

A panicked Hiro just laughed and said “okay Makoto! I understand. I’ll use my powers to find the owner and return them as soon as I can!” But on the inside he was dying.

He quickly turned away from Makoto shoved the cuffs in his pocket, and ran out of the room heading home. At least he never officially got caught though.. right?

#danganronpa #danganronpa smut #thh smut #trigger happy havoc smut #trigger happy havoc #Yasuhiro hagakure #hagakure #Yasuhiro #hiro hagakure #hiro smut #Yasuhiro smut #danganronpa hiro #danganronpa Yasuhiro #danganronpa hagakure #hagakure smut #hiro lemon #danganronpa lemon #thh lemon

[supercorpkid]

There’s a first time for everything.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2890.

“How exactly did this happen?” Jamie looks at the F in your test and you roll your eyes to the sight of it. This is bad. This is really bad.

“I didn’t have time to study. But it’s ok, I’ll study for the next one.” You say, agreeing with your head to make Jamie and Maya’s worried expression ease up a little.

“Babe, you should’ve told me you needed to study. We could have had a study session or something.” They’re still worried. You look at Jamie raising one eyebrow, so she knows there’s more to the story. It takes her a few seconds, but she seems to finally realize your life is more complicated than stupid French tests.

“Oh, it’s a one-time thing.” Jamie says dismissing it with her hand. “It’s good, now you know what the rest of us feel when we don’t go so well.”

“Yeah. It’s great.” You joke with a smile, and that seems to be what’s necessary to make Maya less worried.

“We’ll study together for the next one.” She says and you agree.

It’s just when her mom picks her up from school, that you can tell Jamie what was really going on with you.

“Ok, so what really happened?” Jamie asks and you breathe deep before starting.

“Ok, it all started the night before when Kara put her head inside my bedroom to ask me:

“Hey kid. What are you up to?”

I looked up from the books I was organizing on my table to start studying. And since I thought it was something fast, I answered. “Nothing.” While obviously ignoring the books in front of me.

Then she went on like “Well. There is a big commotion downtown, a bunch of aliens got together to destroy some things and the whole place is a mess.” And I just shook my head agreeing because I thought she just went to tell me why she was leaving. But, like, she kept going and she asked me: “Do you want to come with me? I figured we could use some help.”

I was beaming in excitement ‘cause you know it’s kind of hard for Kara to just admit she needs help, so I thought there was probably a hell of a mess there. Which means she really did need my help, right? So, I was like “Wait! Really?”

She smiled too. “Sure! Go put on your-” But I used my super speed to change and I was in front of her all suited up in a blink of an eye. “Suit.”

“Let’s do it!” I ran out of the bedroom feeling like I could fly away just by being invited to it. You know it’s all I ever wanted. Kara seeing me as a person who could back her up during trial times. I was almost out of the house when I heard Lena’s voice from the living room and I came back to kiss her goodnight. So, she was like:

“Where are you guys heading to?”

And Kara said, check this out:

“I need back-up for this fight.”

I mean, she literally said the words I was so eager to hear and my smile just grew wider.

“I’m back-up!” I said, beaming in excitement.

But, well, you know my mom. She immediately went like:

“It’s school night.” She looked at momma. “She needs a good night of sleep.” Like I wasn’t even there to speak for myself! But lucky for me Kara said:

“Don’t worry, love. She’ll help me stop the aliens and bring them to the DEO, and I’ll do the clean up part.” Kara assured mom, who let out a sigh, like she does whenever she knows she is defeated.

“Are you sure you want to go?” She asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. And honestly, I don’t know what she was expecting. Did she think I was going to say no? Anyways, I obviously answered:

“Oh my God, yes! Don’t worry mom, I can handle it.”

Then she was like: “Ok, then. Don’t take too long.” She kissed my cheek, and then Kara’s mouth. “Be careful. Both of you.”

Then I looked at momma, still smiling, and she smiled back super excited. I just couldn’t believe I was going out to have adventures with Supergirl! I always thought I would have to sneak out with Superboy to have them, but then like, momma invited me to it!

So anyways, I tagged along to fight some hellgrammites that were causing trouble downtown. And like, dude, Aunt Alex gave me an earpiece for communication and Rao it felt so good to be a part of the team!

And she would talk to me through it. Jamie, I swear it’s as fun as you can think. So, aunt Alex was like:

“Superkid, be careful with the spikes. They’re strong enough to penetrate metal, it could harm you.”

And Kara was like:

“They also possess superhuman strength.”

And I was like:

“Okay, guys. I know hellgrammites, just chill.”

But like, aunt Alex went on:

“If you can’t win, try using their own spike against them as a last resource, Superkid.” And I was like ‘ok’, And then I hit one so hard he was thrown to a post light, and it bent, and made the light flicker. It was so funny, but I obviously couldn’t say that, so instead I said:

“Sorry. I’ll fix that!” And I flew to him, looking at the spike on his hand. Then I made my voice sound stronger and said: “You can come willingly or I can make you.”

“Pff.” It was his answer. What a dumbass, right? So, I had to keep using my strong voice.

“Got it. I’ll make you.” And then I punched his face a few times until he was unable to recover, and put him in cuffs. And I was so happy I yelled: “Got one!”

I looked at Supergirl, who had already caught the other three. She gave me thumbs up and a smile. Well. At least I kinda helped, right?

“Bring him to containment at the DEO.” I heard Alex’s voice through the comm, and picked up his floppy body and made my way towards Supergirl.

I asked if she was ready and she agreed with her head. So, I picked one other guy up, throwing each one over my shoulders, and I flew into the DEO with Supergirl, putting all four of them in a cell.

Aunt Alex was looking proud of me, which is incredible. You know the feeling! And she went like. “Great work, kiddo!”

“Thanks! That was fun, it was like playing video-game!” I said making them laugh. But then Supergirl went:

“Ok, time to go home. I’ll go clean up the mess they made, and I’ll meet you back there in a bit.” And she was ready to fly away when I held her hand.

“I can help. Still early.” I said pointing at my watch, but I lied ‘cause it was already late. Supergirl narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew she was going to say no, so I said: “At least let me unbend the post light.”

So she went:

“Ok. Let’s go.” Supergirl flew and I flew behind her.

In the end, I ended up helping her clean up everything, and we had to sneak in home so Lena didn’t see what time we made it back home.

And then, when I laid in bed, I was feeling exhausted, but I was so tired that it was really hard for me to fall asleep, so I missed my first wake-up call with Kara knocking at my door, and when Lena woke me up a while later, I was so tired it was hard to focus. But I could never tell her that, ‘cause she would be pissed since she was right in the first place. So, I rolled out of bed and came to school.

The problem was that it takes a lot of effort to shut off my super hearing and pay attention to the test, and I wasn’t able to do that while feeling so tired, hence my F.”

“Well, at least you had a good time supering yesterday.” Jamie says after you finish your story and you agree with your head catching your breath.

“It was awesome! Even your mom looked impressed.” You lean over a pillar and look at her. “Except Lena will be so mad that I got a bad grade, because I was supering.”

“Oh, come on. You can’t do everything. Save National City and get a good grade the very next day.” She said and you think about it. No, you can’t do everything, but you’re supposed to. Besides, school is more important than saving National City since Supergirl could have done it all by herself, clearly.

But Lena doesn’t need to know, does she? It’s not lying if she doesn’t ask you about it, so there’s no reason you will run to tell her about it, right? Right. It’s fine. You’re fine.

But you’re not fine.

“Hey, babygirl!” Lena says when she walks in home later that day, your soul almost leaves your body. You jump so high in your chair; she furrows her brows at that. “What are you doing?”

“Having a heart attack!” You put your hand on your chest, and you feel your heart beating fast.

“You shouldn’t get scared so easily. You have super hearing.” She points out and you think about it for a second. She is right, you shouldn’t.

“I was distracted.” You defend yourself, and Lena comes closer to kiss your head. She looks at the books in front of you.

“Ooh, français. Très bien!” She jokes.

“Mhm, yeah.” You smile through the pain you’re feeling to just blurt it out right there. It’s very hard not to say anything. You hate keeping secrets from your moms. “How’s-How was work?”

“Oh, you know Fridays and meetings. They don’t usually go well together.” Lena says that grabbing a bottle of wine and a glass. “But at least we have family night today, right?”

“Right.” You smile and she excuses herself for a shower (glass of wine in hand), while you finish studying.

Kara gets home a while later with dinner in both hands, but she still manages to push your books out of the way so she can put them on the table. She ended up dropping all of your books on the floor, and you smile at her.

“Sorry, little one.” She bends out to help you with it, and you hear a loud gasp.

“What?” You ask surprised, and you look at what she’s pointing at. “Oh no. Oh no.”

“You got an F?” She yells in pure shock, and your eyes widen at the sound of that.

“Shhh! Will you keep it down, please?” You lower your glasses to make sure Lena is still in the bedroom and can’t hear you. Lucky for you that’s the case.

“An F!” Kara’s still shocked. She picks up your tests and reads it. “You were aware it was a French test, right?”

“Um, yes?”

“Because I’m pretty sure this is English, this is a math equation? And would you look at that! You wrote stuff in kryptonese! I’m not sure she could understand that.” She keeps looking at it, making you blush in embarrassment until you pull it out of her hands.

“I was… distracted.” You say, putting it inside of your book, and looking back at her. “Please, don’t tell mom.”

“Kid-”

“Please, mommy.” You try with your sweetest voice. “I’ll study harder for the next one and I’ll get an A, just please. Please. For me?”

“Don’t.” Kara looks at your pouting face and you can see she’s very inclined on hiding this with you. But she blinks twice looking away. “No, that won’t work. The pouting, and the ‘please for me’ bit. You know we don’t do lies in this house.”

“That’s not fair!” You cross your arms, upset. “Last week mom asked you if you ate all the chicken parm and you said no.”

“Are you serious?”

“You broke three glasses when you closed that cupboard a little too strong yesterday, and you told her nothing was broken.”

“Nothing important was broken.”

“Momma!” You pout again. “It’s not fair.” You hear Lena opening the bedroom door and making her way to where both of you are, and you raise an inquisitive eyebrow at Kara.

“Hey honey.” Lena says making her way behind the counter for another glass of wine. She looks at both of you having a stare down on the other side.

“One of us is going to tell her and she would rather if it was you.” Kara whispers close to your face, and you know Lena can’t hear her. You frown, and can’t believe Kara would do that. You can’t believe she won’t have your back about this.

“What’s-” Lena clears her throat, calling your attention back to her. “What’s going on?”

“Oh. Hi, love.” Kara makes her way to the other side of the counter and kisses Lena’s mouth. “Your daughter has got something important to tell you. I’ll go shower so we can have dinner and watch a movie.”

Kara leaves the kitchen and Lena raises her eyebrows at you, encouraging you to start. You don’t. You just look at her, and the book where your test lays inside. And you think about a lie. But you know you won’t lie, so it makes no sense for you to think of one in the first place. So, you get your test out of the book, and you come closer, holding on to it like it’s suddenly going to make it turn into an A instead.

“I, um, have something to tell you.” You sit on the other side of the counter, and she looks at the paper you’re clinging to so desperately. She does her eyebrow raise, and your heart feels like it’s going to stop with the thought of disappointing and upsetting her. Your mouth feels dry, your palms feel sweaty. It’s a whole ‘is this what a heart attack feels like?’ situation, before you can get your words out. “I didn’t do so well on a test.”

“Ok.” It’s what Lena says. She raises her hand at you, and you wince when you realize she will look at it. “Can I see it?” She pushes, once she realizes you’re still clinging to it, like holding onto a wrecked life-boat.

“Can’t you just take my word for it?” It’s your last desperate self-preserving act. Lena shows you her hand again, and you know that’s a clear ‘no’. “Ok.” You breathe out, handing her the paper. She takes it and looks at it, with furrowed eyebrows.

“Didn’t do well.” As in she’s saying that’s a very light way to put what she’s looking at.

“I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time, I promise!” You blurt out. “Please, don’t make me stop supering. Please. I swear it was a one-time thing. This won’t happen ever again.”

Lena puts the test down, goes around the counter and stops in front of you, while you still rumble your apologies. She doesn’t say a word which is very distressing. You wish she would just yell and ground you, just do something, instead of radio silent like right now.

“Ok.” She finally lets out. Ok? What does ok mean? “You’ll do better next time.” And then she hugs you. You take a few seconds to wire your brain and acknowledge what’s happening, before wrapping your arms around her, and letting out a breath you’ve been holding the entire time.

“So, you’re not mad?” You ask, still in shock. Lena gives you a chuckle and whispers softly in your ear.

“I’m not mad.” She tries to move away, but you hold her tightly.

“Still hugging, still hugging.” You say, earning another chuckle from her, and she doesn’t move away. “So, I can still go supering with momma?”

“You can still go supering.” She whispers again.

“And I’m not grounded?” You ask again, and you feel Lena moving to kiss your cheek. You smile, very happy.

“And you’re very much grounded.” She whispers, and finally lets go of you, with a bop on your nose. “But nice try.” Lena gets her wine glass and looks at you with a soft expression. “Can I just ask you a favor?”

“Anything.” You’re so happy she’s not mad, and that you can still go supering, whatever she says, you’ll do.

“That physics formula it’s exactly what I was needing for an experiment. May I steal it?” She smiles, making you smile back.

“Really? Wow, it’s almost like I wrote that for you.” And you have, in fact, because you were listening to her during your entire test. And you feel like she somehow knows that because the English part is the explanation she was giving about the experiment, then you wrote the formula she was trying to come up with, and the kryptonese part actually says ‘I love you, mom’. So, you figured she must have put two and two together and she possibly knows.

“Oh, and babygirl?” Lena adds, looking at you from her wine glass. “Khap ukiem rrip, inah*.”

Yeah. She knows.

Notes:

*Khap ukiem rrip, inah = I love you, daughter*

#kara x lena #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp #supercorpfamily #kara x reader #supercorp daughter #supercorp fanfic #lena x reader #reader insert

[fruitcoops]

If you’re up for more of a series could you possibly write the part of Remus recovering at home after leaving the game (the one with the stick to the face) and Sirius having to take care of him and all that?

Yes, I can! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying the continuation of something I wrote so long ago <3 Side note: I would give my left foot to be part of the Lions groupchat. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for bruises and blood

Sirius was worried. Even though Remus claimed he felt fine, he was just fine, everything was fine, a small seed of doubt lingered in the back of his mind. He had dozed off in the car on the way home—Sirius’ heart had stuttered for a moment before the swelling-enhanced snores started. His phone lit up every few seconds, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the road for even a millisecond, just in case.

Remus woke when the car stopped and immediately winced. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, taking the hand that rested on his thigh.

“Just hurts.” Remus kissed his knuckles as best he could. His skin felt strange, and the edge of the tape was an unfamiliar sensation next to the softness of his lips. Sirius collected their gear from the trunk, then helped him up the front steps; just as he went to unlock the door, he felt Remus’ hand tighten on his forearm. “I hate not being able to see well.”

Sirius kissed his temple. “That’s what you’ve got me for.”

Hattie stopped in her tracks as soon as the door opened, and Remus frowned. “Hatters? Where are you, sweet girl?”

“She’s here.” Sirius whistled for her and crouched, setting their bags aside while Remus sat crosslegged on the floor and held his arms out. Hattie’s tail wagged low, almost as if she was afraid; she glanced up at Sirius, who tilted his head back toward Remus. “Go on, mon chou, he’s not going to break.”

“C’mere,” Remus said softly, shifting in her direction. “C’mere, babycakes. I need some cuddles right now—there we go. Okay, Hat Trick, okay.”

Sirius carefully closed the door as Hattie climbed into Remus’ lap and let him hug her, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Good girl,” Sirius said softly. A quiet sniffle led to a flinch. “Re? What’s wrong?”

“I fucking love our dog.” His voice sounded even more clogged than before.

“Are you alright?”

“It really hurts.” A shuddering breath made Hattie nuzzled closer. “Hey, good girl. I love you.”

Sirius sat down next to them and wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulder, tracing a pattern with his thumb. “Deep breaths. You can take more Tylenol in a few hours. Let’s go get some ice, yeah?”

“Can I stay here with her?”

“Of course.” Sirius kissed the top of his head and gave Hattie a gentle pet before walking into the kitchen and grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer, as well as a towel to wrap it. The last thing Remus needed was a freezer-burned bruise. They were in the same position when he came back, though Remus raised his head from her thick fur when he heard him coming. “I’m going to put it on your face, okay?”

“Okay.” Remus sighed when the ice pressed against his eye and one hand came up to cradle Sirius’, running carefully down to his wrist. “Love you.”

“I love you, too. I was thinking about making some soup if you want to hang here for a bit.”

Remus nodded silently, though his lower lip wobbled in the one spot it wasn’t puffy. Sirius carefully transferred the ice pack to his hand and ran his thumbs over Remus’ cheekbones—usually they were sharp enough to cut glass, but now they were purple and overheated under his touch. He kissed each one before going back to the kitchen.

After grabbing some soup from the freezer and turning the stove on, he finally took his phone out. You Have: 20 New Messages

Message From: J ;)

Did you get home safe?

Call me when u can

Lil is worried ☹

Tell Re we send big hugs

 Message From: Tremz <3

Lmk when you get home

Leo is making soup for u

Bringing it over demain matin and won’t let us have any :(((

 Message From: Bliz

Nat sends her love for Re

Remember ice packs and NO IBUPROFEN DUMBASS

Ily

 Message From: Dumo

Sa mère est inquiète

Send text when home safe, love you

 Message From: Walkie Talkie :P

U okay? Sending lots of love

Lmk if you need soup or smth <3

 Message From: Hope <3

Thank you for the call honey <3

Tell Remus not to look at his phone and keep us updated please

Love you so much <3

 Message From: Baby Rookie

I’m bringing y’all soup and that’s a threat

NO IBUPROFEN OR I’LL TP UR HOUSE

Big hugs for Re <333

 Sirius laughed under his breath.

Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

Home safe. Re is fine, getting lots of cuddles from Hattie. Thanks for the messages.

 He sent a few more texts to the individual people and, after a quick conversation with Hope, stirred the soup until it began to bubble. Remus entered the kitchen a few seconds after he took two bowls out of the cupboard. “Smells good.”

“It does. Are the lights bugging you?”

“Nah. At least I can see.”

Sirius poured out two portions and set one in front of Remus, handing him a spoon as well. “Careful, it’s hot.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Can’t cook it cold.”

Sirius’ phone began to ping several times in rapid succession and he turned the ringer off quickly, checking the screen to make sure there wasn’t an emergency. “Leo’s bringing us soup in the morning.”

“Neat. Is everyone else okay?” Remus blew the steam off his spoon.

“The guys are all worried about you.” Sirius glanced back up, only to see Remus staring down at his soup bowl, frozen in place. “Re? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Is this my mom’s?” he asked in a small voice.

Sirius wracked his brain. “…I think so? It was in the freezer. Is that okay?”

He nodded silently and a tear dripped down his cheek. “ ‘s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He reached across the counter and pressed Remus’ hand between his own, wiping his cheek dry.

“God, I miss them. You called her, right? To let her know I’m fine?”

“I did. She told me to give you something.”

Remus’ eyebrows drew together and he looked up. “What?”

Sirius scooted around the table and wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him in for a tight hug and pressing his face into his curls. “This.”

“Thank you.” Remus went a little boneless against him. “I needed that.”

“I bet. Do you want me to give them another call so you can talk to her?”

Remus squinted at the clock. “It’s pretty late.”

“They’re still awake.”

“Could we?” Remus dug around in his pocket and handed it to Sirius, who dialed Hope’s number and put it on speakerphone.

The call connected on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, mom.”

“Are you okay, love?” Hope sounded like she was on the verge of tears already. “You sound a little funny.”

“A little banged up, but I’m alright.” Remus gripped Sirius’ hand tightly. “We heated up the soup you left us.”

“Oh, I’m so glad. Have you taken any Tylenol? Ibuprofen is bad for bruises, but I don’t know how much pain you’re in.” Her voice hitched at the end of the sentence.

“Mom, it’s okay,” Remus said gently. “It’s okay, I promise I’m fine. It looked worse than it was.”

Looks pretty bad to me. “Hestia took really good care of him,” Sirius said instead. “We got home safe and we’re icing up now.”

“What’s the healing look like? Sirius said you didn’t have a concussion.”

Thank you, Remus mouthed before turning back to the phone. “About two weeks, mostly for the little scrapes.”

The ‘little scrapes’ were held together by strips of medical tape, but once again, Sirius kept his thoughts to himself. “The blood was just a regular old nosebleed and a cut on the lip.”

Hope paused and they heard a new voice in the background. “Alright. Is it okay if Jules and your father say goodnight?”

“Yeah, totally.” Remus sniffled and Sirius silently handed him a tissue.

The line crackled for a moment. “Re?”

“Hey, buddy!” All trace of pain and exhaustion disappeared from his voice. “How’s it going?”

“Are you still bleeding?”

“Nope, my nose is a-okay. I’ve got a pretty cool black eye, though. Kinda look like a pirate.”

“The announcers were saying you were really hurt.” Jules’ voice wavered and Sirius’ heart broke a bit.

“Well, they were wrong.” Remus leaned closer to the phone, as if he could reach right through it. “In two weeks I’ll be good as new. I was really lucky.”

“Okay,” Jules still sounded unsure. “Mom says I have to go to bed.”

“Yeah, it’s late, buddy. Sleep well. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

There was a rustling noise. “Remus?”

“Hey, dad.” The exhaustion returned and Sirius rubbed his back gently, letting him lean on his shoulder.

After a moment of hesitation, Lyall sighed. “Alright, they’re in the other room. What actually happened?”

“High stick from the Ravens caught me in the face. No concussion, just bruises and swelling.”

“Do I want to ask Sirius to send me a picture?”

Remus winced. “Probably not.”

He sighed again. “I’m sorry we can’t come out and see you.”

“Don’t worry about it, dad,” Remus said softly. “Really, I’m okay. It sucks, it hurts, I’ll ice it and be fine.”

“Sirius, are you there?”

“I’m here.”

“If he starts pulling some ‘go back to practice early’ bullshit—”

“Dad—”

“—don’t let him. If you have to lock him in the bathroom, I promise to cover for you.”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius laughed.

Lyall chuckled on the other end as Remus groaned. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. If Sirius locks me in a bathroom, I’m citing you in the court case.”

“There won’t be enough witnesses if he does it right. Sleep well, kiddo. Thanks for calling.”

“Love you,” Remus said again as the call ended. He blew out a long breath and leaned his forehead on Sirius’ chest. “Thank you for that.”

“Ne rien, mon loup. You should eat and then take a shower.”

“Are you saying I smell?” Remus teased.

“Yes, I am. I also think you’ll feel better if you do.”

They ate in silence; both were hungry, so it wasn’t long before Remus walked carefully up the stairs. Sirius checked the groupchat as he poured himself a third bowl of soup. You Have: 7 New Messages.

Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

DETAILS CAP

That is the blandest fucking response I’ve ever read

I’m guessing y’all are alive then???

Y’all

Haha y’all

Ok gator boy

Give Hattie lots of kisses from us and also GIVE US DETAILS

 Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

What do you want to know??? We got home, ate soup, called parents, and now Re is showering

You’re so fucking nosy jfc

Also cut Rookie some slack it’s hard being so far from his swamp

 Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

From the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

He doesn’t have to he has Remus

Pots I’m going to remove your kneecaps

 Sirius paused just before responding. Despite the quiet of the house, he couldn’t hear the shower running. “Re?”

“Up here.”

“Did you take a shower already?”

“Not yet.”

The bathroom door was ajar and the light was on when he entered their bedroom; Remus stood at the sink, staring into the mirror as he felt along the edges of the butterfly tape at his lip. “Did something happen?”

“It’s worse than I thought.” Sirius stepped inside and joined him, staring at their reflections. The stripes that marked the stick’s edges had turned almost indigo since they left the rink; no less than six pieces of tape decorated the places between mottled bruises. Remus reached up to touch his cheekbone and Sirius guided his hand back down.

“Poking it won’t help.”

“Two weeks, huh?”

“That’s what Hestia told me.”

“Will you help me get the tape off?”

Sirius patted the edge of the counter and Remus pushed himself up on it, leaning forward for easy access. The first one was easy—a small cut just below his brow. It slid away without an issue and Sirius pressed a gentle kiss to the spot, then moved on to the next one. They fell into a rhythm—one side, second side, slow pull, and a kiss, until only two were left.

Remus hissed in pain as he lifted the edge of the tape across the bridge of his nose and Sirius shushed him softly, moving to the other side. “Two more, sweetheart.”

“Just rip it off.”

Sirius gave him a look. “Absolutely not.”

“I’ll do it.”

“No, you won’t, because that would be a stupid idea.”

Remus huffed, but didn’t protest. His jaw ticked as Sirius pulled the last bit off. “Can we leave the lip one?”

“Not unless you want an infection.”

“You’d be a good PT.”

“I would be the worst PT.” Sirius worked the inner edge free. “I know, like, ten stretches and basic first aid. My bedside manner sucks, too, and I’d pass the fuck out if someone asked me to set a bone for them.”

“Good points all around,” Remus laughed.

The motion pulled the last of the tape off and Sirius held it up with a grin. “All done. Hey, your swelling is down. I can see your eyes now.”

The slight gleam of amber brightened as Remus smiled. “I thought I could see a little better.”

“Do you want company?”

Remus thought for a moment, prodding the cut on his lip with his tongue. “As much as I’d love to invite you in, I think I need a second to myself.”

“Cool.” Sirius kissed his cheek and stepped out of the bathroom. “Yell if you need anything. I’ll be in bed.”

He made a pit stop downstairs to gather Hattie and bring Remus’ ice pack up, and by the time he finally slid between the sheets it was nearly midnight. Remus came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking happier but still incredibly worn out. He took another Tylenol and snuggled up against Sirius’ side with a quiet hum, laying the ice pack over his face once again.

“Sleep tight, Re.”

“Love you.”

[doc-pickles]

all's well that ends well to end up with you

After a weekend conference Jo finds herself in an unfamiliar and unexpected situation with an all too familiar face from her past.

“How was the conference?”

As Link approaches Jo she can’t help but jump in surprise, he’d snuck up on her as she stood outside of one of her patients' rooms editing their chart. She had been gone for the weekend at a medical conference in New York and hadn’t seen Link since coming home.

“It was good,” Jo doesn’t look away from the computer in front of her, typing as she speaks to Link. “Robbins is pretty amazing, I’m kinda bummed I never got to work under her as an OB. But I learned a lot and I had fun.”

Her phone dings next to her and before she can grab it Link is reading the screen with interest, “Who’s Michael and why does he want to know how your morning is going?”

Jo snatches her phone up, putting it into her pocket as she closes out of the computer. She turns and begins to walk away from Link, “I met him at the conference.”

“Does he live nearby?”

“No.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Atticus Lincoln!”

Whipping her head around Jo isn’t shocked to see the smug grin on Link’s face. He shrugs, walking past her towards the elevators as he continues his thoughts, “I’m just saying, you’re a single mom of a three-year-old who had a whole entire weekend to herself. I assume you went to a bar, got wasted, and slept with the first eligible doctor you laid eyes on.” “Wow you really do not know me at all,” Jo follows Link into the elevator, pressing the level one button. “He’s a doctor that I happened to connect with in New York. We’ve been texting, not that it’s any of your business.”

“I’m your best friend and you’re not gonna tell me about the first man you’ve slept with since…”

“Don’t try to calculate, it’ll hurt your brain.”

While she’s always more than happy that she has her college friend back in her life Jo often finds herself annoyed at his antics, the same way she assumes siblings get tired of each other. She assumes that Link does these things to get a rise out of her but she always has the suspicion that his love for life and childlike excitement has something to do with it as well.

“Well I’m glad you had a good weekend,” the doors of the elevator slide open, and Jo and Link step out. “Still on for dinner tomorrow?”

Jo nods as she begins to walk down the hallway away from Link, “Yes and I promise I won’t burn it this week.” Link’s laugh echoes down the hallway as Jo turns the corner towards the hospital daycare. She’d flown in early in the morning and gone straight to work meaning she hadn’t seen Luna for three days. She was more than ready to scoop her daughter up and go home to watch movies on the couch.

“Mama!”

The excited voice of her daughter snaps Jo out of her thoughts, a grin overtaking her face as she runs towards her. She opens her arms just quick enough to catch Luna as she barrels forward into her chest. Even though she was just gone for the weekend Jo couldn’t help but savor the feeling of her daughter's arms wrapped around her.

“Oh my little star, I missed you so much,” Jo pulls back and presses a kiss to Luna’s forehead. “Did you have fun with Auntie Mer?”

“Yes she did, she was a perfect angel,” Jo turns her attention to Meredith who’s standing in front of her with Ellis hoisted on her hip. “I came to check on this one, she’s got a bit of a cough so sorry if Luna catches it.”

Jo shakes her head, squeezing her daughter tighter, “It’s okay, Luna is a warrior. Thank you so much again for watching her.”

“Jo you’ve watched my kids more times than I can count, don’t worry about it,” Meredith brushes off Jo’s thanks with a grin. “So did you have fun? Adult fun?”

“What is with you and Link? I go to an MFM conference and you guys think my whole weekend was a sexscapade,” Jo rolls her eyes, grabbing Luna’s backpack and hoisting the three-year-old onto her hip. “Not that it matters but I did have fun.”

Meredith shouts her goodbyes as Jo and Luna walk out of the daycare. While she’d be hesitant to admit it out loud Jo did enjoy having a weekend to herself. She’d caught up with Arizona and Callie and even had a chance to sleep in for once. The handsome man that she’d connected with was a nice bonus as well.

As if on queue Jo’s phone dings as she climbs into the driver’s seat of her Audi, a smile lighting up her face as she reads the text.

Hope you girls are having a good night, can’t stop thinking about you.

A blush spreads across her cheeks and Jo can’t help the swarm of butterflies that well up in her stomach. While one weekend wasn’t enough to judge a whole future she was excited to see where things took her.

+

True to Meredith’s word both Luna and Jo caught the cough and cold that Ellis had. While Luna had recovered quickly Jo couldn’t seem to shake the brain fog and fatigue plaguing her. She trudged through her work weeks, adopting the same bedtime as Luna and pushing off everyone’s questioning and concerned gazes until she couldn’t anymore. After three days straight of waking up exhausted, fatigued, and throwing up Jo surrendered and called Meredith to come and get Luna. If she could barely manage to get herself out of bed how was she supposed to take care of a rambunctious toddler as well? While she waited for Meredith to arrive Jo laid in bed, phone pressed to her ear.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. What’s up?”

“I don’t think Luna and I will be able to make it this weekend.”

“Are you guys okay? You sound terrible.”

“Gee how romantic of you, you really know how to woo a girl.”

“Jo…”

“I’m fine just… pregnant.”

There’s a long pause, an unavoidable silence encompassing both ends of the phone. Jo knows this is the last thing he was expecting, it was the last thing she was expecting, but it’s where they found themselves.

“What’d you say?” “I’m pregnant. I took a test yesterday. Well, I took seven but still.”

Jo can hear him suck in a breath on the other side and she can’t help but wish she was telling him in person, standing across from him as he launches forward and wraps his arms around her in that pleasant rush of shock and excitement.

“From New York? It’s…” “Definitely yours. There’s not really any other contenders.”

“Holy sh-”

“I know, not exactly the kind of news you were expecting,” Jo pauses, toying with a loose thread on her comforter. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, we’ll work it out. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I want to stay on and talk but I have surgery. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Of course. Talk to you soon.”

Jo hangs the phone up, falling back onto her pillows with a sigh. She had never pictured herself in this situation but here she was; a single mom to a toddler pregnant by a guy she had seen over one weekend who lived states away. The thought alone hurt her, but she knew that she could get through it.

“Was that mystery man from the conference?”

Jo nearly jumps at the sight of Meredith standing in the doorway of her bedroom. She looks down to Luna who’s sleeping soundly beside her before answering, “Yeah that was him.”

“You didn’t seem very happy to talk to him,” Meredith seats herself at the end of Jo’s bed, raising her eyebrows with a questioning look. “Trouble in paradise?”

“More like trouble in everyday life,” Jo rolls her eyes, looking up at Meredith. “Thanks for taking Luna, I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Meredith pauses, eyeing Jo warily for a moment. “Are you sure you’re not contagious?”

“I told you I have food poisoning,” Jo groans as she slips further under the covers. She wasn’t in the mood for Meredith‘s questioning today. “I’ll call if I’m not okay.”

The answer placates Meredith for now and Jo wakes Luna and sends her with her friend. She stays in bed for a few more minutes before the urge to throw up overwhelms her. After she spends half an hour hunched over the toilet she finally feels good enough to crawl back into bed, falling asleep before thoughts about her unexpected pregnancy overwhelm her brain.

Despite falling asleep quickly Jo finds that she’s restless. When her stomach finally feels settled she drags herself to the kitchen, eating plain toast before jumping in the shower. By midday, Jo feels better, save for her lingering exhaustion. Meredith texts to inform her that Ellis and Luna have suckered her into a sleepover and that she’ll bring Luna home the next afternoon. With not much else to do Jo settles on the couch with a movie.

She doesn’t realize she’s fallen asleep until there’s a banging on her front door. The bright light shining through the windows alerts Jo to the fact that she slept through the night and Meredith is bringing Luna home. She jogs to the door, her apology to Meredith failing on her lips as she realizes it’s not her friend in front of her.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well you called and sounded terrible and we were supposed to meet up this weekend anyway so…”

“So you hopped on the first plane to Seattle?”

“I hope that’s okay.”

”Of course! You know I missed you, I'm just shocked.”

The rest of Jo's statement is cut short as Luna barrels down the hallway and crashes into her legs. It only takes a few seconds for Jo to realize just how screwed she is before Meredith‘s voice echoes down the hallway.

“Alex?”

The blonde doesn’t wait for a response, instead wrapping her arms around the man standing in Jo's doorway. As she pulls away from Alex Meredith looks between him and Jo before letting out a gasp.

“Oh my go-“

Jo doesn’t hear the rest of Meredith's sentence as she shakes Luna off of her leg and bolts down the hall. She barely makes it to the bathroom, the little bit of popcorn and toast she managed to eat yesterday reappearing in the toilet bowl before her. She can hear Luna calling down the hall for her, Meredith distracting her quickly. As her body heaves forward again, Jo feels a warm hand on her back and another pulling her hair back.

“I’ve only been in town for an hour and I’m having a blast,” Alex chuckles as Jo swats at him blindly. “Sorry about the throwing up.”

“I blame you for this.”

“And I blame Arizona.”

When she’s done throwing up, Jo sits back and takes a long look at Alex. Although she had seen him only a few weeks earlier she can’t help but take him in all over again. The crooked smile she’s become so accustomed to still graces his face and his presence calms her nerves more than she thought it would.

“I can’t believe you flew all the way out here.”

“You were going to fly out to Kansas with Luna, I figured the least I could do right now was help you out for the weekend,” Alex brushes the hair back from Jo’s forehead and she can’t help but lean into him. “How are you doing? I mean throwing up aside obviously?”

“Tired. And I can’t remember anything,” Jo doesn’t have a better answer for Alex, her train of thought being interrupted by Luna babbling outside the door anyways. “I should get her.”

“I can get her if you want,” Alex stands quickly, extending his hand to Jo. “I mean if it's okay with you that is. I’m just trying to help out, I can take her for a bit and you can nap.”

Jo nods in thanks, bypassing Meredith in the hallway and immediately curling up in bed. She can hear Alex and Meredith whispering but can’t quite make out their words. Luna is babbling and she can tell that Alex is responding to whatever the toddler is saying to him. As Jo drifts off to sleep once again she can’t help but feel like the future might not be as dim as she had first thought.

When she wakes up a few hours later Jo is greeted by the sight of Alex coming into her room. She pats the spot next to her on the bed and curls into Alex’s side as he settles in, his arms wrapping around her shoulder. The warmth that spreads through her as he presses a kiss to her forehead is warm and comforting, something she’d craved for far too long.

“Thank you for helping with Luna, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem,” there’s a momentary pause before Alex speaks again and despite not being able to see his face Jo knows he’s grinning. “We’re having a baby. Can you believe that?”

“I would say no but the constant nausea and throwing up make it hard to forget,” Jo threads her fingers through Alex’s as she rests his hand on her still flat abdomen. “We’re having a baby.”

The moment is bittersweet, the excitement of the tiny new life overshadowing the reminder that they could have already had this had Alex not left. Jo chooses to overlook that as she lets herself finally feel the excitement that’s been bubbling under the surface since she had seen the positive test two days before, “The first time I sleep with you in three years and you knock me up. I think you just missed me.”

“I did. I have every day since we said goodbye outside the airport.”

Alex’s candor makes Jo’s breath hitch. As she turns to meet his eyes she knows he’s telling the truth, but she still finds herself craving the reminder that this is real and not a dream.

“I want us to be a family, that’s what I’ve always wanted with you, Jo. I know we didn’t count on Eli and Alexis or Luna. And we definitely didn’t count on this little one,” a smile spreads across Alex’s face as he squeezes their intertwined hands still resting on her stomach. Jo can’t help the tears that well in her eyes at the small gesture. “But I can’t picture a future without all of them. Or you, I definitely don’t want a future without you, Jo. I told you in New York that leaving was my biggest mistake and I meant that. I don’t want to be a dad without you by my side, I don’t want anything if you’re not by my side. I can do it, I can live my life, but I don’t want to unless you’re there too. I love you, Jo.”

Jo can’t stop the tears that are tracking down her face. She knows she’s worrying Alex with her emotional display but her raging hormones make the task of stopping the tears near impossible. Instead, she reaches up and kisses him squarely, letting her lips linger a bit longer than she normally would. When she pulls away Alex’s eyes are still closed and he’s wearing a blissed-out expression.

“I love you too,” Jo savors the words as they fall off of her lips, not having said them in this context since the last voicemail she had left for Alex before she had read his letter. “I love you and our family so much.”

There’s nothing else for them to say, the couple enjoying the silence that surrounds them as Jo leans up to kiss Alex again and they get lost in each other. It’s an easy feat, their emotions and feelings towards each other guiding their actions as they once again fall into bed with each other. Jo knows that they have more to discuss but for now she’s content to get lost in Alex all over again.

#jolex #alex karev #jo wilson #jo karev #greys anatomy #jo x alex #jolex fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #nina writes

[leigh-kelly]

(More Hospital!AU)

Though Santana calmed down a little after her conversation with Brittany, she realizes that her anger with Kurt doesn’t fade. She doesn’t want to burden Brittany with it, not while she’s still recovering, and the last thing she wants to do is get Mercedes involved, so she bottles it all up. It scares her sometimes—well, all the time—how her emotions tend to eat her alive, and she fears running into Kurt in the hospital. All she can keep thinking is that he just doesn’t get it. There was a time where she’d drop everything to hang out with him, but now she has responsibilities that she just can’t drop...and she doesn’t want to.

Two weeks go by. Brittany is getting stronger every day, she’s hardly taking her Vicodin and she’s really killing it on the crutches. The Pierces get the house and they go back to Boston to pack up, but Santana feels okay that they’re running the house on their own. With the exception of bath time, Brittany has pretty much conquered everything on crutches. She cooks dinner, she cleans up the house and Santana is so grateful for it.

On the first day of the third week, there’s a knock on her office door. When she looks up, she sucks in a breath. It’s Kurt, and she’s still not really sure she’s ready to talk to him. He hurt her feelings, but she won’t do the weepy thing with him.

“Can I come in?” He asks, leaning against the door frame.

“I...yeah, I guess.”

“So...”

“Yeah.”

“Dave told me I was wrong.”

“And do you agree with him?” Santana raises an eyebrow.

“I...I don’t know.”

“So you came here to tell me you don’t know?”

“Yes. No. I honestly don’t know. You’re my best friend, Santana. I miss you.”

“Well I don’t have time for gallivanting in bars. I’ve got three kids, I’ve got an injured wife, I have to help my in laws move into their new house in a week.”

“You make time for Mercedes.” He mumbles.

“What was that?”

“I said you make time for Mercedes.”

“Because Mercedes recognizes that I have different priorities. Do you think the night Britt got hurt, I even thought about calling you to come watch the boys? No. You’ve made no bones about it that kids aren’t your thing.”

“I would have watched your kids.” Kurt defends. “But that doesn’t mean hanging out with you always has to be with them and Brittany.”

“What do you want me to do, Kurt? You don’t just get to pick and choose when you’re a mother.”

“Other mothers leave their kids at home once in a while.”

“Other mothers don’t have an infant son who might have cerebral palsy. Do you know how much of my mind is occupied by making sure Oliver is okay? That I’m not giving him too much attention and neglecting Liam and Max? You know better than anyone that my mind goes a hundred miles a second, now add the worries of motherhood into that equation.”

“I can’t say I get it, Santana. I don’t know what you’re going through.”

“You’re right, you don’t.”

“Then let me know. Half of the news I get about you, I get about Mercedes and another forty-five percent I get from gossiping interns. You don’t even bother to let me in anymore.”

“I...you’re right.”

“I want to be part of your life. I was hurt when you got married and I wasn’t there. I was hurt when you told Mercedes you were pregnant first. I guess I just feel like I don’t matter anymore.”

“Kurt.” Santana takes a breath. “You’re always going to matter to me.”

“I just...I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Kurt. I’d love to spend time with you, I just wish you didn’t hate my kids.”

“I don’t hate your kids at all. I love them, actually. I’m just not...good with them.”

“Just spend time with them. Come over and have dinner with us, without Mercedes, without anything else. I want to spend time with you, I just have..a lot on my plate right now.”

“Okay.” Kurt more. “I can do that.”

After Kurt leaves Santana’s office, she doesn’t feel like everything is resolved, but it’s a start. And maybe Kurt is right, maybe other mothers can take a step away, but it’s just not something she can do. She spends enough of her time away from her kids at work, she can’t imagine not being there for bedtime, she can’t imagine just...leaving them for something else.

The rest of her day is packed with surgeries. She wants it that way. She feels like Lauren Zizes is on her heels and she wants to be the best. Maybe it’s all in her head, maybe Zizes isn’t interested in competition...but they’re surgeons, so she probably is. After she finishes her last set of rounds for the day, she doesn’t even bother to change out of her scrubs. She’ll just go home and take a shower, have dinner with her family and relax.

When she gets to the house, it’s loud. Liam is shouting, the babies are crying and Brittany looks like she’s at the end of her rope. With one arm holding a crutch, the other cradles Max, trying to settle him and Santana immediately feels bad. Maybe she should have taken more time off, maybe she shouldn’t have left Brittany to deal with all of this while she should be healing. But she insisted she would be fine, she insisted that she didn’t need Maribel to come down and help. Still though...

“Hey honey.” Brittany smiles as she walks into the living room, a shock of hair fallen over her face. “You’re home.”

“I’m home and it looks like just in time.”

“Do you want to deal with babies or Liam?”

“I’ve gotta nurse, if you don’t mind handling Liam.”

“Nope, got it.” Brittany hands Max over to Santana and grabs her other crutch before hobbling into the kitchen where Liam sits on the floor screaming.

“Hi Maxie baby.” Santana coos down to him, then lifts Oliver from his seat. “What’s going on with my boys today, huh?”

“I don’t like it!” Liam screams from the kitchen. “Go away, Mama!”

“Li...” Brittany sighs. “I’m sorry we couldn’t go to the park, I really am.”

Santana’s heart breaks just a little at that. She knows Brittany wants to enjoy the kids while she’s home, but obviously, going to the park is just something she physically can’t do. And of course, it’s impossible to reason with a four year old, especially when he’s been cooped up in the house except on the weekends. It’s clear that Brittany is pained by the fact that she can’t do what she used to do and Santana just wonders if she should have taken more time, despite Brittany’s insistence that she shouldn’t.

“It’s not fair! I want to go!”

“Liam. I told you if you had good behavior today, we would see if Mommy could take you, but you didn’t have good behavior.”

“I don’t want you! I want Mommy Noodle!” He tears into the living room and hops up onto the couch, jostling the twins away from nursing and making them start wailing again.

“Liam.” Santana says firmly, hating when she has to and trying to settle Max and Oliver back on her breasts. “This behavior is not nice and you need to say you’re sorry to Mama right now.”

“No! No! No! No!”

“I’m sorry guys.” Santana murmurs down to Max and Oliver, slowly taking them off her and laying them down. They start to cry again and she has no idea if she’s making the right choice, but she needs to take Liam upstairs, needs to have him sit and regroup in his room. “Let’s go, we’re going upstairs.”

Carrying Liam up the stairs and feeling like her breasts are going to explode, Santana looks quickly over her shoulder at Brittany who has settled on the couch and is trying to soothe the little boys. Liam kicks and screams the whole way up and Santana realizes she hasn’t ever seen him like this. She thinks of something one of her patient’s moms had told her years earlier about the “fuck you fours” and she thinks this might be the epitome of that. Once she’s sitting on Liam’s bed with him, he tries to run out of the room, but she stands up and stops him.

“We’re staying here until we calm down.”

“I don’t want to!”

“I understand that, but when you’re not treating Mama nicely and you’re scaring your brothers, you have no choice.”

He screams and cries until he finally throws himself on the bed and collapses in total exhaustion. It’s early for him to go to bed, but Santana thinks that maybe he needs it. She’s sure Brittany has fed him dinner by now and she’ll just get up a little earlier to bathe him in the morning. Breathing in deeply, she goes back downstairs to where Brittany holds the whimpering twins in her arms.

“He’s sleeping.” Santana tells her, lifting up her shirt completely and taking Oliver, then Max to get them all some relief.

“He’s been like this all day. I just feel so...helpless.”

“I know, he never had a fit like that when I was on bed rest, but I know the feeling of being helpless.”

“I’m just ready for this to be healed. There’s ten million things I want to do that I can’t. Take Liam to the park, help my parents pack in Boston, go back to work...” Brittany buries her face in her hands and Santana aches for her. “I’m just...God, this is horrible but I need to get out of this house. I’m about to go back to work and at least sit in my office.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Who knows if Sue will even let me?”

“There’s no reason you can’t run your department. You’re all but off painkillers. Even if you just started with some shorter days. It would probably be good for you.”

“You don’t think it’s crazy?”

“I don’t.” Santana shakes her head. “I’d do the same thing. You know I would have, I begged Shelby to let me do anything. I’ll call my mom tonight and you can see if you can set up a meeting with Sue when I go in tomorrow, that way you only have to take a cab one way.”

“You really are the best, I hope you know that.”

After Santana and Brittany eat dinner, the twins finally soothed, Santana calls her mom while Brittany calls Sue. Maribel is understandably not as thrilled about Brittany going back to work, worried about how she’ll be able to rest and recover, but she agrees to come in the morning. Luckily for Brittany, Sue has a meeting open at eight the next morning, so she’ll go in with Santana, see how things go and then work from there.

After the phone calls, they spend some time with just Max and Oliver, laying on the floor and playing with them. Santana is always so carefully observing Oliver, seeing if he’s catching up, but she knows there’s some rigidity to his limbs. Contrary to his she felt before and at his appointment, she’s reconciled in her mind that it will be okay if he needs a little extra help, that she doesn’t love him any less or love herself any less if he has special needs. He’s one of her beautiful, wonderful, perfect boys and she’ll spend her whole life fighting for him to have the very best of everything.

“I talked to Kurt.” Santana murmurs as she picks up both boys to bring them up to bed. “I’m going to put them down for the night and then we’ll talk.”

Santana looks over her shoulder at Brittany settling in on the couch and she walks up the stairs with the boys. They’re both nearly asleep when she gets up there, but once she lays them down in the bassinet, she can’t help but look over them. Max’s fingers are in his mouth and Oliver has his hand over his eyes and she swells with love for them as they settle into their dreams. She thinks of how they’ll grow up always side by side, how Liam will watch over them and is so grateful for this life she has.

She leaves the room and checks on Liam, glad he’s still sleeping, before she heads back downstairs. Brittany is in the big chair and she has her feet up on the ottoman and Santana is so glad to see that she looks much more comfortable than she has in the weeks past. She sinks down onto the couch, close enough so she can touch her, and runs her hands through her hair.

“Long day.” Brittany says. “For both of us.”

“I’m sorry they were such a handful today.”

“It’s okay, Santana. We both know they have those days. But tell me what happened.”

“He came to my office. It was...kind of a lot. I don’t know, I have this weird guilt thing with him, I guess. He said Dave said he was wrong, but I don’t know, I think it’s more complicated than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess it’s like...I don’t know, you become friends with someone when you’re one person and then you go through these evolutions and you’re just not the same anymore, I don’t know.”

“I think...” Brittany takes a breath and Santana thinks she’s really considering her words. “Okay, I think that friendships evolve with you, I don’t know. Like you two have been friends since med school, you getting married and having kids shouldn’t change that.”

“He was really hurt that we got married without telling him and that Mercedes knew I was pregnant first.”

“I can understand that on some level.” Brittany nods. “But he also knows you have anxiety and have to do things your own way.”

“Do you not think I should forgive him?”

“No, I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying that I don’t want you coming out of this thinking you’re in the wrong.”

“I’m not, I promise. He started about how other mothers leave their kids to go out with their friends and I...just can’t do that, I told him that. We leave them to go to work and once in a blue moon for a date night, but I love being here for bedtime, I don’t know.”

“What did he say to that?”

“He said he’d come over and spend time with us. Also that he doesn’t hate our kids. So that’s a start, right?”

“I think that’s a really good start.”

“It was easy when we were young, you know? We were all single and getting drunk after twelve hour shifts. But that being said, I wouldn’t trade what I have now for being young. I wasn’t happy, not really.”

“I know, honey. Lately, you’ve been less anxious than you have been since I’ve known you. You’ve found your stride and it looks really good on you.”

“For someone who never thought they’d have kids, I sure am into it.”

“And maybe that’s part of what’s going on with Kurt, you were both kind of on the same page about where your life was going to go and you changed your mind. That’s hard.” Brittany reaches over and takes Santana’s hand.

“I guess, I don’t know, Britt, it’s hard.”

“I know, and it’s okay if you want to stop talking about it.”

“I do. Have you decided if you want to go to Boston?”

“I mean, I feel like we should, I just don’t know what kind of help I’m going to be.”

“Your parents understand if you need to relax. I mean, especially if Sue lets you go back to work. You’ll probable be exhausted by the weekend. And when they get here, we’ll go out to Long Island, I’ll unpack with them.”

“Yeah.” Brittany sighs. “I guess it’s still just a thing for me about Liv’s stuff, I want to make sure it’s okay.”

“They’re going to take care of it, it means as much to them as it does to you.”

“No, I know, you’re right. I’ll tell them tomorrow that we’re not going to go. They said they had it under control. Sorry, I’m just...whatever.”

“It’s okay to be like that, it’s a lot.”

“I know my mom told you I never got to grieve. And she’s right. I’ve got a lot of stuff to unpack.”

“You know you can do it with me, right?”

“I know.” She nods. “It’s just still hard for me to process the way she died. And the fact that she’d overcome so much. She wished for a life where she was happy with a family of her own and she was just getting started. She deserved so much more. I don’t know, we’re new at our family thing and it scares me a little.”

“Like it’ll all be taken away?”

“I don’t know, maybe I just don’t feel like I deserve it. I know you go through that sometimes.”

“But you’ve always been the one who tells me I do. And I’m going to tell you the same.”

“I don’t think I ever got to thank you, you know, for letting me name Oliver after her.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I feel like he has a special guardian angel, I don’t know. I don’t normally believe in that stuff.” Santana shakes her head.

“I don’t either, but yeah, I feel that. I just always think about how she would have been so calm about the whole thing.”

“Britt, you’re so calm about the whole thing. You’ve been a rock while I’ve freaked out. But I feel like we’re in a good place with it now.”

“I can tell. We’ve got this, whatever comes along.”

“I know.”

Santana watches TV with Brittany for a little while and then she showers and they go up to bed. Santana is surprised how infrequently the twins wake up throughout the night and she savors the extra sleep. It may be restless, since she’s still not taking her pills, but she sleeps. When she gets up in the morning, she’s surprisingly refreshed and she rolls over, seeing that both boys are up and gurgling contentedly in the bassinet. Brittany is already out of bed, she hears the shower running, and Santana picks both of them up to nurse. While they do, she thinks about how surprised she is that Liam is still sleeping, but she’s glad he’s getting the rest he needs.

Once the babies are fed, she lays them back down and gets dressed. She slips into the bathroom to wash up and brush her teeth, then she carries them into Liam’s room. He’s slowly opening his eyes and a Santana just looks at her oldest son. He’s had a tough day yesterday, but he’s still just the sweetest boy, and she sits down beside him with Max and Oliver in her arms.

“Hi, Mommy Noodle.” He murmurs sleepily, not opening his eyes.

“Hi, Sir.” She smiles, leaning over to kiss him on the head. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“I feel like I’m ready to go to the park. Can you take me?”

“I have to go to work, but Grandma Maribel is coming over and I bet she’d be glad to take you.”

“What about Mama?”

“Mama’s going to come with me to talk to Dr. Sue this morning. But I promise you this, tomorrow is Saturday and I’ll definitely take you to the park then.”

“Hmmm...okay, what about Maxie and Ollie?”

“They’ll come with us. And we’ll see how Mama’s feeling, maybe she can come too.”

Once her promise is made to Liam, Santana brings the three boys downstairs and puts a waffle in the toaster for her oldest. Brittany comes down the stairs, one crutch under her arm, and Santana smiles at her. Brittany looks beautiful, dressed up for her meeting with Sue and a big smile on her face. With everything that went on with her parents and then her leg, Brittany hasn’t worn that smile of hers in too long, so Santana goes over to her and kisses her, just soaking it all in.

Brittany is chatty on the way to the hospital and Santana is so happy to talk to her, she almost doesn’t want to get out of the car. But they get there and Santana kisses her again outside her office and goes to meet her first patient. She knows she has back to back surgeries all day so she won’t be able to check in with Brittany for awhile, but she hopes that things go well with Sue, she hopes her wife can come back to the hospital and feel like she can breathe again.

The day feels like it lasts forever, and when Santana finally gets back to her office at the end of the day, realizing that she hasn’t pumped in six hours and her breasts feel like they’re going to fall off, Brittany is sitting on the couch and smiling at her. She’s so happy to see her wife’s smiling face that she immediately pulls her in for a kiss.

“You’re back?”

“I’m back.” Brittany grins. “Sue said I know my body and if I feel like I can work, I can work. It’ll be a few weeks before I can go back to surgery, but I’ll take just being here and running my team.”

“That’s amazing, Britt. I’m so glad it went well!”

“Are you okay? You keep rubbing your breasts.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just haven’t pumped in basically forever. I’d love to wait to get home and just feed the boys, but I feel like I might actually die if I don’t get some milk out of me. Do you mind?”

“Honey, do what you have to do. I checked in with your mom a little while ago and things are all good over there.”

“I’ve gotta be better about this. My milk is going to dry up if I keep waiting so long to pump.” Santana sighs, closing the door and grabbing her breast pump from her bag.

“How do you feel about that?”

“What?”

“Your milk drying up? I mean I know nursing and working full time has been a lot on you.”

“You know...I honestly don’t know. I told myself I was going to do it for a year, especially for Oliver, but finding time to pump just feels like it’s impossible. I know they have to give it to me, but also I can’t exactly stop in the middle of a surgery to do it. I don’t know.”

“Okay. You know that whenever you’re ready to stop, I’m okay with it, right?” Brittany asks, gently touching Santana’s shoulder.

“No, I know. I guess I’m ready to start thinking about it. It feels weird to say that out loud.”

“The boys are doing great, it’s amazing you’ve been able to keep this up this long.”

“Thank you. But seriously, I want to hear all about your day.”

“It was a lot of scheduling stuff, my team really stepped up while I was out, so there were no major fires to put out. And I was able to talk to some of my long term patients who are still here. It felt good, when I was at home, I didn’t feel...useful. I felt like Liam was always mad at me for not being able to do things, I don’t know.”

“I felt like that when I was home too, so I get it.” Santana nods. “But he loves you.”

“No, I know. And I miss all three of the boys today, but it also felt really good to be here.”

“Our second home.”

#brittana #hospital!au #piece by piece

[btsqualityy]

Heaven Sent; Part 1

Jin x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Minor character death (nothing explicit or descirbed though), grieving families 

Nothing felt necessarily different when you woke up this morning. You woke up in the same bed that you had been sleeping in for the past 6 years, in the same tiny house that you had fallen in love with years prior. You went through your shower routine as usual, and the same happened when you did your makeup and hair. You even struggled to wake your daughter Aera up this morning like you always did, because she loved to sleep in just like her daddy. By all accounts, it was a normal morning.

Except it wasn’t, because today was the day that you were burying your husband and Aera’s father.

“Mommy?” Aera called and you hummed in reply as you put the finishing touches on her ponytails. “Are you almost finished?”

“Just about,” you sighed heavily, grabbing two black ribbons and taking the time to tie each of them around the bases of the two ponytails that were in her hair. Once you were done, you picked Aera up and sat down on the edge of your bed, settling her in your lap.

“We need to have a serious talk really quick, ok Love?” You told her and she nodded her head. “You know how Daddy has passed away and how I explained it to you?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled softly.

“Well, today is going to be the last time that you see him for a long time,” you said and her face instantly bunched up. 

“Not even when I’m a big grown up?” She wondered and you shook your head sadly.

“No, not even then,” you replied as you reached up and brushed back the baby hairs that framed her face. “But I want you to know that it’s ok to be sad or cry if you want to, and that you don’t have to be strong for me or anyone else.”

“Are you going to cry Mommy?” Aera questioned and you smiled sadly, choosing not to lie to her.

“Yeah I am, because I’m sad,” you nodded.

“Ok,” she agreed easily and you hugged her tightly, your chest tightening at the thought of what was to come.

........................................................

The actual service wasn’t that bad, which is something that you had anticipated. It wasn’t until you watched Hae-il’s casket being lowered into the ground that you finally broke down, and it took both your father and Hae-il’s father to haul you away while Aera sat in your mother’s lap, sobbing into her chest. 

After everything was said and done, Hae-il’s parents held a small dinner back at their house and family and friends appeared to offer you their condolences.

“I’m so sorry Y/N-ah,” Yoongi whispered, holding his arms open and you immediately fell into them, hugging him firmly as you hooked your chin over his shoulder. You and Yoongi worked together at the same interior designing firm, and you had been at work with him when you had gotten the call that Hae-il had been involved in a horrific car accident. Yoongi, as well as Taehyung who was another of your coworkers, went with you to the hospital where you found out that Hae-il’s injuries were fatal. 

“How are you holding up?” Taehyung asked after giving you a quick hug as well, and you shrugged lamely.

“I’m barely holding it together and that’s only because of Aera,” you confessed, taking a second to glance across the room, where Hae-il’s mother Eun Ae was trying her hardest to get Aera to eat something. “This is so fucked up for her.”

“Hey, don’t leave yourself out of that,” Yoongi said softly. “You lost someone too.”

“I know but it’s different for her,” you sighed. “She’s so young, I don’t think she really understands even though I’ve explained it to her the best that I know how.”

“It’s gonna take time Y/N-ah,” Taehyung said and you just hummed in reply. Suddenly, you heard a loud squeal and you whipped your head to the side to see Aera sliding down off of Eun Ae’s lap and running across the room. Your eyes followed her to the front door and your eyes widened when you saw Kim Seokjin standing there. 

“Uncle Jin!” You heard Aera cheer, her squeals bouncing throughout the house as Jin picked her up and hugged her to his chest. 

“Guys, give me a sec,” you said and after receiving a nod from Taehyung and Yoongi, you turned and walked over to the door.

“How are you, little heart?” Jin asked Aera and she shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m sad,” she answered truthfully and you saw Jin sigh heavily before nodding his head and gently patting her back with one of his large hands. 

“That’s ok, because today is a sad day,” he told her. He then looked up and saw you walking towards him, and the same sad smile that had been on everyone else’s face whenever they talked to you today was now on his face as well.

“Hi Y/N,” he greeted you and you did your best to smile, leaning forward and giving him a quick one-armed hug. Jin and Hae-il had met in university, becoming close very quickly and remaining as such throughout the years. You had of course met Jin several times but with him living in Japan overseeing the chain of restaurant that his father owned, you and Hae-il rarely saw him over the last 3 or 4 years. He was Aera’s godfather though, and he loved her almost as much as you and Hae-il did. 

“Hey, I didn’t see you at the service,” you muttered and the sad smile on his face turned apologetic. 

“My flight was late so I only caught the tail end of it,” he explained. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. Besides, Hae-il knows how much you cared.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss Y/N,” he said, and it looked like tears were beginning to form in his eyes. However, he quickly recovered and continued. “You guys meant so much to Hae-il.”

“Thank you,” you nodded. “There’s food and stuff here, so feel free to help yourself.”

“Alright.”

“Aera, why don’t you come with me so that Uncle Jin can eat?” You suggested as you reached out for her but she shook her head and snuggled further into Jin’s suit jacket. 

“Wanna stay,” she muttered.

“It’s ok Y/N, I got her,” Jin told you and you raised an eyebrow.

“You sure?” You checked.

“It’s no problem. Besides, I missed my favorite girl,” he smiled, leaning down and kissing the top of Aera’s head. “Did you miss me, little heart?”

“Lots,” she whispered and Jin gave you a small nod as if to say “I told you so” before stepping around you and walking towards the kitchen. As you turned around to watch them, your mother walked up to you. 

“Are you hungry Y/N?” Chae-won asked and you shook your head. “I can make a plate for you if you want.”

“I’m not hungry Mom,” you replied. 

“You sure? I haven’t seen you eat anything today.”

“I’m fine,” you stated firmly and the tone of your voice showed your mom that you didn’t want to keep talking about it, so she let it go.

“Who was that man carrying Aera just now?” She wondered instead.

“That’s Kim Seokjin. He and Hae-il have been close since University and he’s Aera’s godfather,” you explained.

“That’s the uncle Jin that she’s always going on about then,” your mother chuckled. “He must be great with her, because he’s the first person that she’s let hold her today besides us and Hae-il’s parents.”

“He loves her,” you confirmed. A few seconds of silence passed between the two of you then before your mother sighed heavily, and you already knew what she was going to say.

“Y/N, I really wish you would reconsider our offer to let you and Aera move in with us for a while,” Chae-won said. 

“No.”

“You’ve never had to raise Aera alone before and it’s going to be a tough adjustment,” Chae-won continued. “You’re gonna need the support.”

“Maybe so, but I can’t and won’t rip Aera away from the only house that she’s ever grown up in,” you explained. “So much has changed so fast for her, and I don’t want to make any of this harder than it needs to be. Besides, that’s the first house that Hae-il and I bought together and you’re crazy if you think that I’m going to leave it now.”

“Y/N, that’s not what I was trying to-” your mother began to say but you didn’t stick around to hear the rest of her sentence, walking off as you felt the anger coursing through your body. You understood your mother’s intentions, but you also don’t think she understood exactly what it was that she was suggesting. Your house was the place that held the most memories of Hae-il and you would be damned if you were going to leave it now; not when you needed it the most.

........................................................

Once the dinner was over and everyone had left, you took Aera back home to get her ready for bed after the long day. You wanted to keep everything as normal for her as you possibly could, so giving her a bath and struggling to get her to brush her teeth the way that she should went on as they always had. 

“Mommy? I have a question,” Aera told you as you helped her into her bed, pulling her covers back and watching as she climbed inside before sitting on the edge next to her. 

“Yes?”

“Does Daddy love me?” She asked and your eyes widened. 

“Of course he does,” you nodded. “Why would you ask me that Aera?”

“Because he left us and it hurts,” she told you. “You said that if someone loves me, then they wouldn’t hurt me.” You sighed heavily, realizing that your previous attempts to instill some self-worth into your five year old were now backfiring horribly. 

“Well sometimes, people hurt us even though they don’t mean to or want to,” you began. “Daddy didn’t want to leave us and if he had been able to choose, he would’ve stayed.”

“Really?” Aera’s tone sounded doubtful as she asked.

“Really,” you confirmed, thinking for a few seconds before deciding to try a different tactic. “Do you remember what your name means?”

“It means love,” she chirped. “That’s why you call me Love and Uncle Jin calls me little heart.”

“That’s right baby,” you smiled. “Did you know that your daddy chose your name?”

“He did?” She whispered in awe.

“He did and do you wanna know why?” You asked and she nodded her head up and down rapidly.

“Why?”

“Because he loved you as soon as he knew you were in my tummy,” you revealed and her eyes widened.

“That was a long time ago,” she muttered.

“It was,” you chuckled. “So even though we can’t see Daddy anymore, he’s still sending you lots of love.”

“Ok,” she agreed, all of what you said seeming to make sense to her. “I miss Daddy, and his hugs.”

“That’s ok to miss him,” you assured her. “And how about anytime that you want to hug Daddy, you come hug me instead?”

“Really?”

“Really,” you confirmed and you didn’t have time to prepare yourself before she sat up and launched herself into your arms, wrapping her little arms around your neck. You hugged her back, making sure to squeeze her tightly the same way that Hae-il would. “I love you Aera.”

“I love you too Mommy,” she said as she let go of you.

“Alright, lay down and go to bed, ok?” You told her and she nodded, laying down and you pulled the covers over her. Once she shut her eyes, you leaned over and kissed her forehead before reaching over and turning on her nightlight. You then stood up from her bed, walking over to the door and shutting the light off. Making sure to leave the door slightly ajar so that you could hear her if she needed you, you made your way down the hallway and into your bedroom, the length of the day beginning to weigh down on your body.

By the time that you had showered and took your makeup off, you didn’t have the energy to do anything else but flop down onto your bed and pull the covers up and over your head. You felt yourself beginning to drift off and you happily welcomed it, until you smelt a familiar scent.

Your eyes popped open and then widened when you realized that Hae-il’s pillow was right in front of your face. You had been very careful to avoid it over the past week, not wanting to make things any harder for yourself. This time though, you allowed yourself to drag the pillow towards you, burying your face in the material and inhaling deeply.

“Damn it Hae,” you whimpered, the tears quickly welling up and spilling over onto your cheeks. “Why did you have to leave us?”

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts jin #jin x reader #bts seokjin #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #jin smut #jin fluff #jin angst #seokjin smut #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts scenarios

[hotchley]

Hi! I’d like to request 4 from Fluff with a platonic Hotch and literally whoever else you want, please!

I’m so happy for you for 500, congratulations!!! ❤️

Aah thank you! I went with JJ because it seemed to work. You may be wondering why this one is like this, it's because I don't want it to be the same as the Hotchley request (that I haven't started lol)

It's set... post whatever episode JJ comes back to the BAU properly. Features background Willifer because I love them <3 No proofreading as always. 1403 words.

4: "your hair is so soft!"

Trigger Warnings: mild sickness (Will and Henry have colds)

read on ao3!

JJ has always taken pride in her appearance. Even before she was media liaison, with her face constantly on the television, and a sense of professionalism essentially needed at all times, she took pride in looking nice. She liked applying her make-up and watching herself transform. Not into something better, just something different. She liked brushing her hair and choosing a stylish outfit.

Her parents used to tease her about it, always asking who she was doing it for, but she learnt to tune them out over time. She wasn't doing it for anyone but herself. If they couldn't understand that, it wasn't her fault. So what if she liked feeling good? There were bigger crimes a person could commit.

Since Henry's birth, that whole routine- hair, make-up, outfit- had gone down the drain. There were some days where she was lucky if she changed out of her pajamas and into sweatpants. She didn't mind, because she loved Henry with all her heart, and she had always wanted to be a mother, but she missed it. Perhaps it was a silly thing to miss, but she still missed it.

Will was doing just as much as she was- he was a half-decent father after all- but there never seemed to be enough time for either of them to do anything more than splash their face with some water. Obviously, neither of them would trade it for the world, but even Will was starting to miss being able to shower for more than nine minutes and forty five seconds.

Obviously, neither of them were able to stay at home forever. Not if they were going to buy the house they had fallen in love with. So Will went back to work as soon as his combined paternity and annual leave finished, which left JJ alone for eight hours. She missed him, but it was okay. As soon as he got through the door, he was showering her with affection, taking Henry from her arms, and sending her to get rest.

JJ went back to work a few months later, very grateful that everyone had been accommodating. Jordan had done her best, but the BAU wasn't for her, and that was okay. JJ was glad to hear that all miscommunication had been cleared up, and that everyone had gotten on in the end, because she wasn't sure she'd ever forget the time Aaron had phoned her at three in the morning because he'd messed up.

(He hadn't, not to the degree he was convinced he had, but it was not a fun night.)

For the most part, her return to work was rather smooth. And then suddenly, everything went downhill.

Will and Henry both got sick at the same time. She, somehow, avoided this, and after triple-checking her temperature, and asking Will a ridiculous number of times whether or not he was going to be okay, she went to work.

Her clothes did not coordinate, her face was devoid of all make-up, and her hair was thrown in a bun to try and make it less obvious that it hadn't been brushed, but it was fine. The BAU were (supposedly) grounded after doing successive cases. Again.

"Morning blondie- what happened? Are Henry and Will okay?" Derek asked, concerned as soon as she walked towards them.

JJ blinked the sleep from her eyes. "They've both gotten sick. But I'm okay. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

"Well if you start to feel unwell at any time, just tell me. I'll drive you home," he says.

She manages to smile. "Thanks Der."

Morgan simply shrugs. "Least I can do."

Before she can offer to do something in return, Hotch exits his office. "Strauss is coming by later today with the Director. They're doing an inspection. So Emily, please, do not take my phone and start reading my texts from Nate again."

Emily smirks. "Are they more inappropriate than last time?"

Hotch glares daggers. JJ tries to stifle her laughter, but completely fails.

"Wait. Do I have to be here?" She asks, suddenly aware of how unprofessional she looks.

Hotch turns to her. "Oh JJ. A moment in my office please?"

She swallows, but nods and follows him. He holds the door open for her, then locks it behind him. She's not uncomfortable, just confused. She only grows more confused when he closes the blinds, sticking his tongue out at Emily like a child.

"Hotch, what are you doing?"

He pulls the chair he keeps in front of his desk to the centre of his room. "Sit."

She does. "Hotch."

"After Jack was born, we got sick at the same time. Haley had to go in because there were some very important meetings. She looked exactly the same as you do now. Which means Henry and Will must be ill, and you must be exhausted."

There's no point in denying it. "Yeah I guess. But I'm not ill! I can do my job."

Hotch smiles, and pulls a brush out of his desk drawer. It's the exact same one that she uses. "I know you can. I just want to help you feel a little bit more like yourself. That's all."

"Oh."

She expects him to pass the brush to her. He doesn't. He stands behind her, and takes her hair out of the bun she had hastily thrown it in. And then he parts her hair into three sections, moving two over her shoulder, and gently brushing through the third.

"This is very nice," she whispers.

"Feel free to fall asleep," he says.

She laughs, but eventually her exhaustion catches up to her and her eyes flutter close.

When she wakes up, a blanket has been draped over her body, and Hotch is behind his desk, doing paperwork. The blinds are still closed, and he's working using the lamp only.

"Shitting- why didn't you wake me up?" She exclaims.

"Because you looked so peaceful. And you deserved some consistent sleep."

"But what about the observation?"

"Hasn't happened yet. And if they have a problem with me taking care of my agents, then that's on them. JJ, it's completely fine. If I needed something urgently, I would have either asked someone else or woken you up."

She knows he's telling the truth. "Okay. Thank you. I know you don't like brushing your hair."

If he's surprised by her knowledge, he doesn't show it. "I don't, but other people, it's nice. Soothing."

JJ smiles, then runs her hand through it. Her fingers don't catch a single knot. "I do feel more like myself. So really, genuinely, thank you. It means a lot to me."

"It's not a big deal, but you're welcome. If I could help with the make-up and clothes, I would, but I don't know anything about either of them, clearly, so…" he trails off, and she can't help but grin.

"You've done more than enough. Could you do one more thing? If it's not too much?"

"JJ, of course. What?"

"Would you plait it for me? It'll be easier to do my work, and then when I get home, it'll be easier to deal with two sick people. Or maybe it's a psychological thing. I don't know. My mom always plaits her hair when someone is sick, and I like feeling close to her in that way."

"Of course I can. Tell me if it looks terrible?"

She nods, knowing it won't.

Aaron splits her hair into three sections again, running his hands through each. "Your hair is so soft!"

"It's the shampoo and conditioner I use," she says, not sure how to handle his softness.

"Of course it is. It always is," he responds, and she knows he's thinking of something else, but she isn't going to push. Not now, when he's doing her hair so nicely.

"All done," he says, moving her plait over her shoulder.

"Thanks Aaron. It looks perfect."

He grins, and she knows she's going to cherish this moment forever. She cherishes it even more when she gets home, and a sick Will can't stop complimenting how pretty she looks.

(She gets sick as soon as he recovers, and Aaron comes over with soup, plaits her hair again, and when she gets better, he sends her and Will to a cute restaurant whilst he babysits Henry because they deserve a night together. She plaits her hair for that as well.)

#hotchley's 500 #platonic jotch #tw mild sickness