#and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prettyboyeddiemunson · 2 years

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maybe an extension of perv!eddie but: eddie buying one of those kits where you make a plaster mold of your dick, and then fill it with silicone to make like. a dildo that looks just like your dick. i feel like it would be one of those things he gives you on an anniversary or before he leaves to go on a concert tour so you dont miss him too much 🥺

OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT: THIS WITH P**N STAR!EDDIE

because imagine he gets a mold of that big ass dick and makes a dildo for you? jesus fuck, it would use a lot of silicone, but it would truly be like an exact replica. he gives it to you for your birthday, all wrapped up with a cute little bow, and gifts it in private. he made sure to use silicone of your favorite color, so whatever that is will be the color of the toy. he tells you that he’s gotta go away on a shoot the next day, so you’ll be without him for a little while. he gives you very specific instructions about what to do with that new toy of yours, and delivers them with a cheeky grin.

“i want you to make a film of your own for me, baby. fuck yourself on that massive dick I just gave you, and tape it for me. i want you to be as filthy and disgusting as possible, and show me how needy you are for the real thing.”

you do it for him, too. you watch some of his movies to get you in the mood, and then turn the camera on so that you can start filming. you tease the camera with it at first—swirling your tongue around the tip, deep throating it and making sure the bulge was showing in your throat, and moaning around it, before fucking your tits with it. you rub the head around your nipples, mewling a little as you look at the camera, before getting down to business.

you rub it against your clit, slapping it against your sopping pussy before pushing it inside. you cry out in both pain & pleasure as the dildo stretches your walls, the stinging burn so delicious that you clench instinctively around it. you fuck yourself hard on that thing, making sure to moan like one of the girls in his movies and assuring that the wet, obscene sounds of it turn up on camera. you make eye contact with the camera, face contorted in pleasure as you moan his name & say such filthy, hot things that you know he’s gonna die over. you roll your nipples in your free hand, but can’t do that for long because it takes both hands to fuck yourself on that fucking toy. and when you cum, you squirt all around it and over your hands, shooting it out right in view of the camera. you know he’s gonna go insane over that, and you grin at the thought of it.

then you decide to give him a little bonus. you pull the dildo out, so much cum spilling with it and forming more of a puddle under your ass. you hold the toy to your lips, sitting up so that he will get a better angle, and deep throat the soaked toy with a moan. you wink at the camera, pulling it out when you’re done as a thick bridge of spit connects your lips to the tip.

when he returns from the shoot, you give him the tape; whenever he goes back to his place, you get a phone call. he’s on the other end, moaning filthily into the receiver as he pants, the sounds of him jerking off almost as loud. you can hear your own moans in the background as well, accompanied by your own dirty talk. you feel your pussy throbbing in response to it, knowing exactly what the fuck he’s doing on the other end.

“jesus fuck, that pussy of yours,” he breathes, mewling as he beats off faster. “she’s so goddamn small, compared to that thing. but she’s taking all of it so well, hm?”

“mmm,” you hum, grabbing a pillow and putting it between your legs for something to grind. “the real thing is so much better, though. i can’t feel a toy throbbing inside of me, or filling me up with so much cum that i’m leaking for hours. what do you think of that?”

“fuck, i wanna eat you out after i creampie you,” he says, his voice breathless and raspy with lust. “watching you fucking yourself with it has made me so painfully hard. i don’t think i have enough blood in my brain right now to even form a coherent thought, but i know i would fucking love that.”

“wait until you see the surprise i left for you at the end,” you say, whimpering as you rut against the pillow. “i think you’re gonna love that.”

“oh yeah?” he asks, groaning as he curses under his breath. “can’t wait to see it. i really want that beautiful wet pussy on my face right now while those pretty lips are wrapped around my rock hard dick.”

“why don’t you finish that video and come on over, then?” you ask, smirking into the phone. “don’t cum; save it for me.”

“that’s gonna be difficult,” he says, hissing as he reaches the part of the video where you suck the dildo after you came. you wait for his response with a grin, and then he says: “oh, motherfucker.”

“get over here,” you say, chewing your lip as you stop grinding your pillow. “i’ll make you feel so much better than your hand ever could.”

“i’m on my way. you’re getting fucked so goddamn hard when i get over there, y/n.”

“that’s what i’m counting on.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x reader

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idkfitememate · 5 months

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I am CRYING. FURINA MY BABY YOUR TEAPOT LINES MAKE ME CRY. SHES SO INNOCENT BUT SHES BEEN SO TRAUMATIZED IT HURTS ME. WHY FOCALORS WHY.

😭😭 Furina asks us to dress up as a duo with her. And she said she’d even do our makeup. She’s trying to take back her stolen childhood. MY EYES ARE PUFFY FROM TEARS.

DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ‘the more you let someone in the easier it is for them to hurt you’ LINE. SHES SCARED TO LET PPL IN AND IM WAILING.

I wanna give her all my love and affection!!! 😭

-🦌 anon, who is curled up on the floor crying

Forcing Furina on a bed wasn’t easy. The entire day was spent with and you having a “bonding day” and spend the day inside.

Makeup and clothes whirled past in a blur of blues and makeup was pressed into your fur. The entire day was fun, eating snacks and overall just having fun.

At least, it would be if you didn’t notice the sadness behind Furina’s eyes.

Every time she looked at you in your frilly little dress with a big blue bow around your waist and a smaller blue and gold bow around your head.

Now, you’d be a little ticked at being forced into an outfit, but seeing her on the verge of tears when you began to shake your head no - no matter how much she would deny it - you forced your pride down your throat and and put it on.

Her smile was worth it.

The entire day you could just feel her off-ness, and you’re pretty sure you know why. The events pertaining her curse and the death of that bi- I mean Foçalors had just passed and Furina was finally free.

Free to be human once more.

You, knowing the lore, knew that she had suffered with being alive - unchanging and never aging - for five-hundred-years. You knew that both Foçalors and Neuvillette understood that that would have and has had lasting effects on the poor girl.

But you knew they’d never understand. How could they? They were immortal. They had to get used to the passing of the ones they knew if they were mortal because they were literally built for it. Furina wasn’t. She never was.

And now that she was free, she was coming. Crashing down.

The curtain had fallen and the star of the show has fallen to her knees. Her tears stain the floor as the crowd leaves and her wails echo through the empty halls.

To be honest you haven’t seen much of Neuvillette around. You understood that he had new issues to attend to as the new overseer of the nation of Fontaine. But you barely see him in the halal’s anymore.

Your thoughts were immediately halted when you heard small sniffles coming from your friend.

Your head whipped in her direction only to see tears pouring down her face. You rushed over as fast as you could, wiping those tears away as you gently chittered at her, pulling her crumpled form up so she could face you. At your concerned expression, she only cried more.

“I-It’s just,” she started, “… Did she ever love me? Was I ever even worth anything to her? I played my part and danced till collapse and I didn’t even get a thank you! I don’t understand… I watched my friends die… I watched my f-family die… I outlived all of them! And I didn’t… even… get a thank you…” She broke down back into sobs, holding onto herself as she rocked back and forth.

You could only watch as she shattered in front of you. Pain and guilt rose in your stomachs as you stared. Huffing, you jumped off the bed, and grabbed your stuffed jellyfish, dragging it over and throwing it up before climbing up after her.

You gently nudged it towards her and made sure she grabbed on before jumping back down and racing through the halls.

You ran out the building as fast as your little legs could carry you, the winds of Teyvat boosting your form farther. You continued on until to made it to the Opera Eclipse and ran through there until you made it to Neuvillette’s office.

You didn’t even bother to knock before shoving to door open and rushing up to him. He stopped his writing and looked down, his eyes softening at you. He opened his mouth to speak before you grabbed his sleeve. You yanked and pulled and he finally stood up, allowing you to lead him.

Making it back home, you all but forced the man into Furina’s room, and forced him on the bed. She had stopped sobbing by this point, but silent tears still ran down her face.

She looked shocked at Neuvillette’s appearance and he looked shocked at her dishevelment. You shuffled up to her in the ridiculous dress you had on - you would later find out it perfectly match the dress Furina had on when she came into being, after being separated from Foçalors - and part her lips.

“Do you… wish for me to repeat myself?” She whispered, looking at the slightly panting Neuvillette with worry. But at your nod she sighed, realizing why you did this.

And if her Otter wanted something, who was she to deny them that.

When she parted her lips you leapt from the bed, and walked out of the room to give them privacy. You could tell she hesitated at your lack of presence, but hearing her start to speak after you closed the door, you wagged your little tail in relief.

Staring towards the kitchen, you planned on getting them both nice tall glasses of water.

And by the time you got back and managed to open the door, you were met with Neuvillette holding the girl close and shushing her, a light patter of rain outside.

“Of course we’re grateful. I’m grateful. I am so sorry my Lady that I had neglected you. I will say it until the stars and the moon itself command me to stop that you are appreciated. That I care. And though I cannot speak for her fully I can say that my Ar- … Foçalors did care for you. And she loved you. I love you. I care for you. I will never understand the trials of being human and I know that what she did is irreversible, but I do want to be there.” He continued to speak to the crying child in his arms, neither noticing you walking in while dragging the glasses of water in.

Making a small noise, the Sovereign looked down and smiled at you, though you could see the tears in his eyes. He picked you up then the glasses, handing one to Furina who was still clutching your plushy.

“And I can also say that our darling here loves you and cares.” Neuvillette mused, running a hand quickly through your fur.

You chuffed in response and licked the girls face causing a giggle to escape her throat.

Here she was wanted. Here she was needed. Here she was loved.

And you were going to do your damndest to make sure it stays that way.

Wanna hug her and hold her and give her kisses on the cheek and UGH- My baby໒꒰ྀི ╥﹏╥ ꒱ྀིა

I personally think she’s like… a teen. She looks like a teen. So imagine being in a mental state of an adult with the emotional state of a child and being forced to watch everyone you know and love die. I couldn’t do it she is so strong but I STILL WANNA HOLD HER MY BABY!!! ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა

#genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #sagau #x reader #x gn reader #gn y/n #yandere x reader #yandere x you #Otter!Creator #asks <3 #anon <3 #🦌Deer anon <3

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azurlily · 1 year

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Hange zoe DATING headcannons (your choice on sfw or nsfw or both if you’d like!) -🐢

Dating Hange Zoe would be like:

Hange is a scientist, so of course they need to gather research on you before "jumping to conclusions".

She'll watch you when out on missions just in case a titan gets a bit too close. Cant have her lover getting hurt, right?

Depending on wether you are a cadet or not, she will either show too much or little amounts to PDA.

If you are a cadet(18 OR OVER), well she'll keep your relationship a secret until she feels comfortable. If not, be prepared they love to show you off.

Hange keeps you close in a secret fear of never seeing you again. What if you're out on a mission and DIE? They wouldn't be able to bear it.

Hange sometimes uses their rank to get you things. Extra food, water, anything she can find.

Will start thinking about you when they are pulling an all nighter and cant stop. They wonder where you are, if you're asleep, if you're awake... if you're cheating on them

Hange is very self conscious about herself. She thinks that she isn't good enough sometimes and doesn't know what to do.

You, of course squash these thoughts by kissing her and showing her you love her. You show her how important she is to you.

Hanges kisses are gentle and sweet. She can get a little overwhelming due to the fact that shes just so happy to see you.

Dont ever let her sweet demeanor fool you though. They could very easily hurt someone or something if mad enough.

Example: Levi had made a comment about you being unprofessional because he believes your relationship(all relationships not just the gay ones) should be kept private. He berated you and told you to this is the military your could die any day.

You told Hange, and by the gods. You have never seen her so mad. They told you it was okay, and that they would "talk" to Levi.

The talking that she did ended up in her blowing up about how rude it was and how Levi wouldn't understand because his lover is dead. She slapped Levi and told him, "When you understand how afraid I am for her safety, you can talk about relationships."

You never thought she'd get mad enough to mention them(no real lover I'm just using this). Levi didn't say anything, he should have, but he didn't. Hange is the commander now, Hange is in control.

When Hange came back to you she promised it was handled nicely and neatly.

You never had a problem with anyone talking about your relationship ever again.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

Hard, fast, rough. Maybe a bit sweet.(not maybe definitely) Hange gets quite needy after overworking and needs some help. You'll help her right?

They like being in control. With losing everyone and becoming commander she needs a form of stress relief.

They like when you call them daddy, seeing as they feel more masculine in bed. The first time you called them daddy. Well, your thighs hurt with how good she fucked you.

They love to eat you out. She prefers you not eat her, but if you convince her to let you. You'll have them wrapped tight around your finger.

She eat you for hours, she loves when you cry, and whine, and beg. She loves hearing you please for mercy while you both know she ain't giving you none.

"Aww, yes, I know it hurts. I know, but you'll take it, you'll take me. Now open those pretty thighs up again, I wasn't done."

Dont try bratting with them, it only makes things worse for you. They are the definition of fuck around and find out in bed. The madder she is the rougher she gets.

If you're sweet though, she'll treat you like the pretty little slut you are. She'll tell you, you're a good little slut and fuck you till you're both numb.

She has high stamina during the day. Why wouldn't she at night too?

"Fuckk, such a dumb little slut. You sure know how to eat me out. Maybe I'll reward you if you're good. You wanna be a good slut for me?

Dont worry she'll reward you, she melts when you eat her. Dont let her try and fool you.

As you can see she has a praise and degradation kink. They'll bully you in bed, make you cry(tears of pleasure), while fucking you so hard it should hurt.

Then again, you are her slut. So why does it matter if it hurts, you're here to feel good, to be overstimulated til you can't move, much less talk.

Aftercare is something out of this world. She'll bring you food, water, and will help you clean up.

She constantly reassures you she isn't mad, that she loves you, that you're hers. Shes so gentle with you.

She'll help you fall asleep and lay there for a while playing with your hair/drawing shapes on your skin with her hand.

Hii 🐢! I'm so glad someone has put in a request. It's not the best hit I'm working on my writing skills! I use a mixture of she/they for Hange seeing as I dont know if they are nonbinary or if that's a rumor. Anyway thank you for reading!

#aot girls #hange zoe x reader #hange x reader #aot #aot smut #im bad at this #wlw #lesbian #i cant write #🤦🏽‍♀️#i tried #hange zoë #aot headcanons

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xuanzangg · 9 months

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you havent been the same since Geto Suguru left.

you fell into a deep spiral of mixed emotions along with depression. you had locked yourself in for months, ocassionally going outside to take a bath or ask Satoru if they have news about Suguru.

you became the exact opposite of you. you lost your spark, your smile, your brightness, your tenderness, the caring and gentle nature of yours.

it all took one person to burn you out, to bring you down, to make you go through emotions after emotions.

skinny arms, skinny legs, skinny stomach, skinny face and the bags under your eyes tells everything. you havent been doing well.

Shoko and Satoru are worried, Yaga-sensei is worried. Mei-san and Utahime-san are also worried. they cant help you and you wont let them help you.

"i need to take a bath.." you thought to yourself. and you did. you went out of your room, went to the bathroom and took a bath.

you also decided to clean your room, it was full of junks and trash. it smells filthy. as you worked your way through the cleaning, you found a photo of you and Suguru. it was you, holding a cake with the "16" number on it. "oh.. this was when i turned 16.. back in 1st year.." you thought. and he was there beside you, looking at you with those eyes.. those eyes that always, always looked out for you, so tender and gentle look, back when he was still here.

you couldnt help it as tears began to drop from your eyes, remembering the past. you're turning 17 soon and Suguru's not here, he's not here to celebrate it with you. you held the photo to your chest, holding onto it's memories dearly.

it's the year 2016 and you're now doing well than before. now teaching in Jujutsu Tech. you remember how much Suguru wanted to be a teacher.. so you made his dream come true.

but everything changed when Gojo Satoru took in a young boy. a first year named Okkotsu Yuta.

Suguru knew about Yuta and his curse. you know he wanted to take Yuta's curse as his. that's why.. Geto Suguru showed up in Jujutsu Tech one day, declaring a war.

"..how dumb of you, Geto." Geto.. hah, you're not used to it..

"oh my, if it isnt my dearest.. please, do call me using my first name." he coo, wrapping his other arm around your shoulders. you let him be. you didnt mind it.

"it's ridiculous, Suguru." "is it now? i dont think so."

you didnt reply. you looked into his eyes. those eyes.. he still looks at you the same way he used to, years ago. a frown formed on your forehead, "you're dumb. do whatever you want, Satoru will surely deal with you." you removed his arms around your shoulder, you didnt want to be held by him for too long because you know.. right here, right now, if he held you a little more longer, you would go with him. you'd go with him and betray everyone just to be with him again. but you didnt. you tried to control yourself.

but well, time sure flies fast. it's the night of the war, december 24th. shinjuku, tokyo. but it wasnt long when every curse were defeated. Satoru made his way back to the school's grounds, sensing something wrong.

there he was, Geto Satoru figthing Okkkotsu Yuta. clearly, he's going to lose against Yuta. you know he's going to die.

and he did. he lost but didnt die. well, not for long. you saw Satoru and Suguru talking, Suguru has lost his other arm and bleeding. you hurried to him immediately, trying to heal him with your reversed healing technique but, "dont." he stopped you. you wanted to punch him.. ask him why but you couldnt, so you stopped immediately.

"im sorry for leaving you all alone.. i didnt wanna burden you from my thoughts and.. you know, bullshits.." you cant help but cry at his statement. him? a burden? he was never a burden! "you'll never be a burden to me.m you dummy.." you couldnt help but cry, you kneel beside him and hold onto his other arm, begging him to let you heal him but he wont say only kept refusing it.

"satoru.. please let me heal him.." "no, you cant do that, i cant let you do that.." "please..! satoru please..!" you were desperate to heal him but the two of them kept telling you no.

"im sorry.." Suguru whispered to you, his forehead touching yours as his other hand caress your cheek gently.

"i love you, im sorry.."

"atleast curse me a little at the very end.." were Suguru's last words before Satoru finally ends him, along with something thar Satoru whispered as Suguru died.

you held Suguru's body close to yours, it's cold, the warmth he used to have is no longer there, Suguru is no longer there.

yahallo~ it's been so long since i posted a fic here. i've missed the feeling of it. anyways, i've gotten into the jjk fandom and i grew attached to suguru. but well, all i can say is that i love him and he deserves a second chance and fuck you kenjaku.

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #getou suguru #gojo satoru #jjk geto #jjk spoilers #geto suguru x reader #jjk suguru #jjk satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen geto

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xr0tt3nxfl3shx · 4 months

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👁💊My Medicine is underdeveloped and my Amygdala won't work.💉👁

Twomp[AU] fanfiction + art !! Pertains to the events in this post. [No beta we die.]

⚠️‼️TW: VOMITING / OVERDOSE / SUICIDAL IDEATION / UNREALITY / CORRUPT MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM / GENERAL MENTAL ILLNESS THEMES‼️⚠️

A/N: i didnt wanna mention it tbh but just in case, ive been down the chemical consumption road 3 times, an i mention because i know the internet has opinions on mental illness in writing. But ive been there myself. All up close and personal like. so i think i can speak on it (dont castrate me)

POV: 👁Argos👁

I scratch at my skin in the dark of my room as if that'll hold in the tears from spilling over my burning red cheeks. The feeling of rage and overwhelming depression clash within me, and leave me to switch every few minutes between cursing the name of every therapist who ever told me that "I'm not even trying to get better" and crying over the idea that they might be right.

My heartbeat is so vigorous that it feels like at any moment the tendons will tear away and my heart will burst in my ribs. How could anyone say that to me? I seethe and hiss through my gritting teeth. Why can't I get better? I cry enough to fill an ocean and nearly drown in my tears.

I should be able to control all of this by now, I'm not a child. Yet, I can't stop thinking about putting the heads of those who hurt me on a platter. Or banging my head on my bedroom wall hard enough to dull the heartbreak. My eyes are running dry from all the tears, I've been at this for a while. My head is pounding from the adrenaline. All reasonable thoughts are drowned out, with intrusive and irrational ones taking the place of my internal voice of reason.

I can make it better, I can make this better. I just need to try a little harder! Just.. go a little further. These feelings, it's just a chemical imbalance right?

I'm running out of options, types of therapy, pills, at this point I might as well just get a lobotomy. I'm sure my therapist would like that.

There's still time to make this right. I don't have to end my life to end my suffering right?

I can prove them wrong. I will prove them wrong. It's just a chemical imbalance. I just need to fix it.

I rummage through the medicine cabinet above my bathroom sink, overlooking the blood crusting around the drain. There has to be something in here that can make my head stop pounding or my thoughts quiet down if not for just a little while. Maybe everything all at once? Yeah that should do!

Laid out in front of me on the cold tiled floor of my bathroom are various pill bottles. The amount of pills actually in them is varied, they like to switch my meds every other week it seems. I try to be hasty with this, pouring out a small handful of gel capsules into my hand. Each one smooth, glossy, and slightly cool to the touch.

You know, I've been here before, and typically there's some survival instinct in me, paralyzing my hands before I can do any damage. But all I can feel is anguish. And anger. And there's no more room for self preservation in me.

I take my first dose before I can come down from my emotion fueled adrenaline rush. Quickly now don't let the self preservation come back. I take my next dose of a new pill type, a tablet. It was a bad idea doing this dry but oh well!

Before I know it I'm slumped against my bathroom door, unable to continue my self medication on account of the mounds of pills I dry swallowed having begun triggering my gag reflex. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about this, but it had to be done. My therapist is always urging me to take steps in the right direction!

(Though admittedly he never mentioned which direction is the right one.)

I make it back to my bed, dragging my feet and leaning on the wall for support the whole way. It's not even five minutes in when I start to feel the effects. I probably should've eaten before taking my pills like the instructions say.

This is different though, I feel my connection to reality slip right through my jittery fingers. Like the shadows in my room are divulging their presence. Like they are reaching out their hands, ready to take hold of me, pull me in and make me one with unreality. An emptiness overcomes me, something I've truly never felt before. And it's the strangest thing, because simultaneously I've never felt more alive in my life.

Everything is really funny, I've never noticed how funny everything is up until now. Every little unorganized thought that pops up in my foggy, spacing-out head manages to get a strained laugh out of me.

Visual snow floods my peripheral, the colors of the world begin to become one with the static in my eyes.

Ah, I remembered what I was going to do in here. I need to call Mr. Plant. I need him to know that I'm going to get better, and how much I love him of course. Oh he'll never understand just how much I love him! I love him to death, haha! Literally.

I dial in the number. Moving has proven difficult, like trying to control a vehicle while tired and out of it, or in my case trying to control a vehicle through the most debilitating brain fog I've ever experienced. The disconnection from body and thought is almost calming.

The ringing of the phone is such a funny thing as well. I could lose myself in the methodical rhythm and loose vibrations running up my hands- oh look here he's answered!

"M‐r… plant! I ha-ve.. s o me thi.. ng to tell you."

I am fighting to get the words out. The weak sounds I manage to get out of my raspy throat come out in uneven tones with jarring stutters. Why is it so hard to speak?

"I took.. a lot o-f... my me-ds. Ha-ha!" He hangs up immediately.

Is he not happy for me? It wasn't long before I heard sirens closing in. Did he call the cops on me? That's no fair, no fair at all.

I've never been rolled into the back of an ambulance on a stretcher before but there's a first time for everything I suppose. It's too bad I'm too out of it to really experience it.

In the ambulance is when the first wave of nausea hits. I could barely even feel the EMT insert the IV or hear when they asked me questions.

———

The heart palpitations do their diligence distracting from the perforations left in my arm from the injections of various medications and the IV drip.

My respiration is just as irregular as my heart's chemical damaged rhythm. I feel like I'm drowning in this heavy air and it feels like the knots in my stomach have spread to my heart. This pain is so unbearable that I feel the need to crave it out of myself with a blade.

The world is doubling- no tripling, blurring, and mushing together all at once. I can feel the hum of the fluorescent hospital light buzz through my head. The scent of rubbing alcohol and sterilized equipment is evident throughout the cold medical facility.

By my own hands I've made my body a place unsuitable for living. I've "almost drugged myself to an early grave" as the hospital staff keep reminding me.

Speaking of body, I can no longer tell where I end and the wires of the EKG machine begin. Neuropathy has set in and nerve sensation has dulled for the most part, except in my stomach and heart where it hurts the most of course. But me and the machines they have me hooked up to might as well be one as long as they are taking the place of my dysfunctional body systems.

When they run the EKG scan, which they do about every half hour, they ask me to stay as still as I can, but it's hard to control the shaking when I don't know where it comes from in the first place. I'm by no means cold, or if I am I really can't feel it.

Have I mentioned the shaking? The tremors? I need to grow accustomed to the flavor of raw stomach acid soon, because that's all I've been throwing up anymore. It's all that's left.

The nausea begins to build all over again, like my stomach is writhing and contorting in my torso. I can feel the knots being tied. Over the next few minutes it builds and builds, I'd do anything to stop the encroaching bile now. The nausea completely overwhelms my senses right before another round of the most violent retching I've ever experienced. Accompanied by the most awful squelching and splattering sounds as it hits the rest of vomit already resting at the bottom of the bag.

I feel like I'm nearing being turned inside out everytime it happens. And I've filled yet another vomit bag. This isn't going to stop for days as the doctor told me. I doubt I'll get the luxury of unconsciousness.

The activated charcoal they gave me to drink is like this black sludge, "slow and steady now, don't drink so fast you throw it all up but not so slow that you succumb to the consequences of your own actions." Well maybe that's not what they really said but it's how it felt. I can tell the staff are judging me, I just know it! They think I deserve this.

At least the charcoal is cherry flavored.

My many eyes dart around the clean and pristine hospital room erratically, glancing off in every direction. I don't want anyone to look at me anymore. I can't stand the buzz of the lights and I can barely bring myself to move enough to blink. Or even move enough to breathe. I am much too dizzy and light-headed to even consider standing up. I'm so dizzy I could swear I'm phasing in and out of my body. The only thing keeping my consciousness bound to this body is the unending pain ancoring me in the reality of my situation.

It's growing increasingly unbearable.

Above all else I am losing my mind trying to figure out where I went wrong tonight. These chemicals were supposed to fix all these feelings. The pills were supposed to fix me. My psychiatrists and therapists all told me that I'm sick, disordered, and all I needed was to buy a few more medicines.

It must be my fault, it must be if hundreds of milligrams of mood stabilizers can't just make it better.

Tell me, anyone tell me, why I'm so useless that I can't even help myself?

Why am I so worthless that my medicine won't work on me?

I am almost entirely suspended in unreality. The prozac, olanzapine, mirtazapine, and everything other useless drug they gave me were meant to cure me. I've tried everything!

I've done the very most I can to try and make the bad thoughts quiet down. And are the thoughts that tell me "I'd be better dead", my own thoughts, or a symptom of one of my diagnoses?

Is the reason I'm like this the same reason I don't deserve love, or do I not deserve love because I'm like this? I want to get better. I swear I really do.

So why does no one believe me?

"Sir, you have a visitor." The nurse informs me in a harsh yet hush tone.

The words barely make it through my chemical head. I'm practically catatonic in this hospital bed. But when I do process them I pray to every divine that it is who I think it is.

Red petals on the top and bottom, two yellow petals, one pink and one blue. I was right!

I can't believe he came all the way down to this void to come see me. I really thought he'd stay home. I don't think anyone or anything could possibly understand the pure desperation I feel coursing through my veins. Right alongside the saline they're using to flush my IV of course.

My boyfriend entered my hospital room, #34 I believe, I saw when they rolled me in on the stretcher. Tears well up in my dried eyes, I couldn't feel enough of anything to cry while drugged out of my head but seeing him, well, I need him more than I have ever needed anyone before.

The look on his face when he saw me is one I didn't know he was capable of, pure horror even. I must look horrible stained with my own bile in these itchy hospital scrubs. He is quick to clasp my hand in his and rub along my knuckles and the back of my palm. Through the blurred vision and tears I can't even make him out anymore but I don't need to, I just need his touch. I need it so badly.

I have no depth perception at the moment, or hand eye coordination, and again everything is quite blurry so it was mostly unintentional when I pulled him in by the sweater. He leans into me and wraps his arms under my upper back, holding me against his chest.

He's warm against me, holding me gently in a hospital bed. I can't feel much at all other than the pain, his warmth was the only other sensation I could pin down in my head. It was such a harsh contrast from how I normally see him acting.

With him so close I can't tell where he ends and I begin this time. Even in one of my most painful moments, I feel a familiar comfort in my palpitating heart. He's the only thing keeping me from going entirely mad. He has no idea what I'd give to melt into him right here right now, become an amalgamated abomination of our half hazardly bonded flesh and bone. I'm afraid I'd ruin him and all his perfection with me and all my misshapen and grotesqueness.

I am especially disgusting as of now, making him worry about me like this. Can I not be horrible for just one second? Selfish, that's it. I must be selfish. I take another go at speaking a moment after we pull away. All I can muster is an apology that comes out more like a pathetic stammer through my tears.

The way his cold gaze met mine shook me. I've never seen real tears stream down his face. He looks so... distraught. Its like he's looking right through me and simultaneously looking directly at me. And on top of everything I've never seen him sign so frantically. He rarely signs at all.

"Please don't be sorry."

…

"Don't strain your voice."

"Just stay right there, okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'll get you anything, I'd do anything for you."

I knew he cared about me, but I guess I never realized just how much. Or maybe I just forgot. How horrible am I?

Is it possible I'm actually worth something to him? Worth enough for him to call me an ambulance, worth enough for him to comfort me in the hospital bed, worth enough for him to cry over me?

Was I really worth staying with all this time?

My thoughts are interrupted by another round of retching, it seems those knots in my stomach weren't just anxiety. Mr. Plant holds my hand through it. I'm gonna be here a while, I know that. But he's here with me, and from the looks of it he isn't leaving my side anytime soon.

I'll make it out alive, not for myself, just for him. And for the possibility that maybe he needs me just as much as I need him. I wish my mind wasn't so scrambled, so I could find the words to express just how much I love him.

I love you Mr. Plant.

#overdose #vomiting #tw overdose #tw vomit #unnamed twomp au #twomp #ashur gharavi #argos twomp #the world of mr plant #twomrp #twomp fanfic #plargos #eye love you #I'm so sorry regular twomp enjoyerd #YOU JUST GOT [COMICALLY ANGSTY TWOMP AU]'D #Spotify

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silvr-skreen · 3 months

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im. i had to make all these damn transparent pngs

anyways some of these can't accurately be described and got left out sorry, sometimes the pink indicates a QPR

Specific notes under cut bc there's a lot of them:

Jason and Kaddie (club president) are both cryptids who claimed BBHQ as their home turf (and despite sharing bc they dont wanna piss off craig who they both respect) they hate either other and want to kill each other. and have TRIED to kill each other

Chip and Kaddie QPR. Chip's aroace to me but he'd happily hold hir hand. Kaddie just likes the attention.

Pepper (mint supervisor) is like the CFO's teenage daughter by association. He respects her and she's like a familial figure to him. Cathal is his son and he and the VP are like divorced ish? They're on cordial ENOUGH terms but it's a sore spot for them both.

Barry and Mary are both fish monster things and they're not like. This one is hard to describe but it's a species specific thing. They're not exclusive though, but it's pretty frequent to see them just fucking sitting in water and hanging out/looking at stuff down there. (By association they fucking hate Will and Des. Sorry guys you cant throw that shit in the ocean.)

Misty and Courtney are so mean to each other and FOR WHAT. They have no reason for this. (My interp of Misty is slightly mean bc she's woobified sometimes) so she just. thinks Courtney is stupid (for something Courtney didnt even fuckin do. It was Barry's fault and got resolved anyways.

Prester is Atticus's uncle (Sads is Prester's son i couldnt fit him or the satellites) and Winston is his cousin on the other side. Prester doesn't like the vampire bros bc of the dumbest reason ever. Thus Misty hates HIM. (she's a distant relative of theirs. so distant i didnt include it.)

Yes Saul (butch lesbian saul For the win) knows Flint. Yes that is every bit as terrible a friendship as it sounds. Went out with a bang and lots of hysterical crying on both ends. Neither will admit it.

Because I couldnt fit the satellites I cant include the absolute HATRED Erclaim and Styx have for one another. Erclaim's father thought Styx's mom was a very pretty lady and she reciprocated and Styx is an affair baby is what im getting at (Both sets of parents were married btw) and Erclaim blames Styx for fucking up his family. Erfit thinks Styx is alright though. His baby brother needs to chill the FUCK out.

Atticus is the guy who seems really nice but is secretly wishing everyone's heads would explode and they'd die 1000000000000000 painful deaths (he survived in our au but he was very mentally unwell as a result of the trauma of almost dying and watching what happened to clancy)

Half of William's enemies either don't know he thinks of them that way or don't care. Desmond however actually respects him a lot and tries REALLY HARD to get William to like him but Will's a hater.

Another sad fact that comes from no satellites is the fact I can't show the links between them and the Head Attorney but they're all family. Actual relatives those 5 (and related to the HA to boot lol) hydra develops crushes on anyone who can crush THEM. token allo.

#there is more but i am tired ive worked on this for like 4 hours #(making the transparent pngs of some cogs and just. everything.)#toontown #toontown corporate clash #ttcc #corporate clash #toontown cogs

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crazybutgood · 6 months

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20 fic writer questions~

I'm procrastinating and feverish and in pain, so I figured I'd distract myself and finally do this,, thanks for the tag lovelies @the-francakes (x) @lumosatnight (x) and @orange-peony (x)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

44 including origami, fics, a mixture of those (all mine and also collabs), and podfics

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Noo this would be a bitch to calculate

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I used to write for the HP fandom

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Light Me Up

I Just Want You to Know (collab with @sugareey-makes-stuff)

Language of Love

[FIC & ART] Heart on Your Sleeve

Kuch Meetha Ho Jaaye

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try!! But I often fail. Reasons: Partially sometimes I get overwhelmed and/or am too shy and dk what to say, but mostly it's because I am so so incredibly burned out

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Damn,, idt I have one. I do HEAs! At least in fics, and so far

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All are happy I think,, and omg how does one quantify and compare happiness?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope! Like reading it, actually incapable of writing it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't! Idk if I will! There is one published novel one that I want to read tho omg ;-; ok sorry going off track

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I sure hope not :') But to my knowledge no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah with Krissy! Linked in question 4. We didn't even know it was each other haha cos it was an anonymous epistolary exchange but ye it was fun

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Don't ask me that!! There's lots of ships to love, and idh the same ride or die (or any, tbh) feeling for my previously main one anymore. Goes to show that it just changes with time (maybe this current answer will too!)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

SIKE I don't start things I know I won't finish (involves an elaborate planning procedure, ask @getawayfox ) and once I start them I push through it even if I have to drag myself crying (I'm insane I know)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love writing dialogue, and some people have told me it's nice, so I shall go with that!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ohh loads I reckon,, I'm going to stick to sharing run on sentences and can't write long plots. Cos I have to do lots of academic writing and copywriting, and that's going pretty steady, so idw to break that and spiral by thinking too much about this :') esp cos idh much time and energy to write fiction rn

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Yes if done right! Like you do things to make sure you don't throw off those who don't know that language and like make it part of the flow. And/Or footnotes! I've done dialogue in Hindi in my fics, and I've written an entire one in a script play format in Hindi too for @curlyy-hair-dont-care

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Listen :') I have mixed feelings about my writing, so I genuinely can't answer this

Tagging @andithiel @curlyy-hair-dont-care if you wanna do this, and anyone else who hasn't and wants to as well!!

#tag game #tagged #personal #fic #game

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candyredmusings · 1 year

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“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME] is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME] show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME] expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

#txt #rp meme #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #ask prompts #inbox memes #inbox prompts #dj khaled voice: anotha one #candyredtext

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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hibiya and takane at the end of the novels let me talk for a second😐😐😐😐😐😭😭😭😭ok erm novel spoilers duh

takane and hibiya werent at the lab with clearing and the rest bc they couldn't rly help (takane is doing shit as ene but if they took her body itd just be something the dan has to carry and as for hibiya in my sick twisted mind hibiyas thing is not ONLY cuz he cant help bc his powers take too much energy but its also bc the dan is trying to act like responsible older siblings and deciding hibiyas too young to be put in danger...sobsob. like it means a lot that hes the only one to survive aside from seto and mary. it's also funny how seto and mary are having an ugly crying party and hibiyas there like 😐) its a good team cuz ene can report back to the dan everything hibiya is seeing with his powers and hibiya can report to takane too *goes insane* its such a funny duo takane tasked as the worlds awfulest babysitter. you know in cartoons when the babysitter just ignores the kids and talks on the phone. hibiya and takane being teamed up together is literally that. except she goes inside the phone and all their friends are dying but thats a detail.

(also it hurts so much too bc of the whole haruka&konoha thing. the 2 characters most closely related to haruka and konoha being stuck together *my descend into madness is complete*)

i think their chapter together was interesting it made me poke my eyes out bc hibiya has to tell takane shintaro is dead and he's like OUGH...I DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HER HER BEST FRIEND IS DEAD.. and then takane has a "weird" reaction, like basically doesnt break into tears or anything. and i know its because she had apparently discussed the possibility with shintaro previously (id kill to have read that convo. normal shintaka convo post reveal *shakes fist*) but the way she kind of tries to comfort hibiya in her own weird way and the whole thing being hibiyas pov its so clear she's trying to keep it together in front of him bc he's just a kid. and not only that but she says he reminds her of SHINTARO so she's like. ough ofc she acts like that. just by how she was as ene to shintaro she is being to hibiya rn to make him feel better. she knows she will die when she says goodbye to him after that as ene. IM GONNA PUKE

(she's... like so mature in her own stupid way. it rly hurts when in the following chapter when she's like on her way to die/just died she thinks abt how helpless she was and how she couldnt do anything even though she had just comforted hibiya and sacrificed herself for seto and marys sake. *bangs head against wall* TAKANEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)

anyways i had all those thoughts bc i was like so since in novel route takane dies as ene... is her physical body also swallowed by the daze?? or is it just her soul, and when she's in the daze later its a haruka situation and both of them only have their consciousness kinda walking around as opposed to everyone else who is there with physical bodies? if that happened then hibiya would just be left on the roof of a random building with a corpse.

either way F for hibiya bc its either he's alone with a corpse or he gets jumpscared by another dimension opening and eating up the body. i do think her body gets swallowed tho and she just looks like ene in the daze cuz thats what she looks like in her mind (she's only been back in her physical body for like a day before this so lol)

either way. hc time but like. i just imagine hibiya realising takane isnt Really sleeping anymore and she Really wont wake up and Wow she doesnt have a pulse and even if he doesn't know her well, he is a kid and she is the adult that was keeping him company. so he kind of loses his mind. i feel so bad for him, what happened to him after takane leaves him??? bc we dont see him again til the end.

like even if he was technically already alone on the roof cuz takane was away as ene anyway, he knew she'd come back. but now shes NOT WAKING UP. he's looking at all this happen, all the people he's met in the last 2 days are dying one by one, the hope to find hiyori seems more and more ridiculous as the hours go on, konoha has been taken over by something Bad and is doing Bad things to people, he doesnt know if momo will be safe, its the middle of the night and he's in a city he doesnt know and the person, the adult, THE FRIEND supposed to be with him is NOT WAKING UP!!! i just imagine this little guy sobbing on takanes body begging her to wake up because he doesnt know how to get back to the hideout from here!! he doesnt know where he is!!! hey!! wakeup!! dont leave me by myself what am i supposed to do!!! and screaming when the daze swallows the body and hes just left alone for real. lol. anyways hows everyone doing

#kagevinnie #hibiya...you little guy... u go thru so much.#erm. im so normal #headcanons #should i put in main tags like girl i wasnt...planning on writing such a long post honestly #kagenalysis #hibiya amamiya #takane enomoto

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br1ghtestlight · 8 months

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love how bob seems to be completely out of it for this entire episode. like gene and tina are barely following along with linda and louise's insane reverse psychology game but bob is GONE like he's not present at the dinner table he isnt even part of the family. he just grumbles when linda tells him to but he isn't saying shit 😭😭

TINA AND GENE ARE SO SILLY IN THIS EPISODE LMAOO head empty zero thoughts. they are nothing more than pawns in louise's game

bob is correct for wanting to bribe them with candy that would literally work. like they are simple people

WHAT IF THEY TURN INTO LITTLE DELINQUENTS WHO DONT LISTEN TO AUTHORITY??? linda do you know who your kids are they are already WELL past that point especially louise. kinda funny that linda in this episode has the exact opposite viewpoint to how she was w/ louise in amelia. not a criticism of the episode its just ironic

BLACKMAIL

ARE YOU GONNA KILL US LMFAO

gene is SO BABY in this scene im gonna need to take screenshots later bcuz he is the smallest boy. in the world or maybe ever

back when we were children?? says the nine year old child

love how this episode is told through a bedtime story its very creative formatting and kinda unique feeling compared to the three story type of episode :)

MR FISCHOEDER APPEARANCE thank god we always need more fischoeder in our lives. i was worried we would have to wait weeks or even months to see him again

love big g. is that perhaps Grandma or Gloria

ZEKE AND JIMMY JR this is the big win for people who like seeing secondary characters. this episode already has more of them than like the Entirety of season 13 zeke and gene are so cute. their friendship is everything

THEY SEEM NICE TO ME AND LOVING I WANNA SAY AND WISE LIKE THEYVE GOT ALL THIS WISDOM TO PASS ON ABOUT LIFE AND THE WORLD 😭😭😭 lmao zeke saying that bob and linda are loving and kind is kinda sweet even though i know its technically bob and linda saying that about themselves. i do think zeke has a positive view of bob and linda Tbh

YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU WORK SO HARD ALL THE TIME AND YOURE DELIGHTFUL........

new jimmy jr lore: he has a small bladder?

BOB AND LINDA GIVING EACH OTHER PIGGYBACK RIDES <3 so cute

rudy AND jessica spotted

AAWWWW ITS OUR JOB TO PROTECT YOU they love their kids so much :(

MARSHMALLOW APPEARANCE WTF??? new voice actor too :D i thought if she was gonna be in any episode it would be the bachlorette episode but its kinda funny she's just randomly in a western. its where she belongs

wait did i die?? no you were just being dramatic :/

I DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHY MR FISCHOEDER WAS GONNA SERIOUSLY SUGGEST TO USE REAL BULLETS mf just shoots a bunch of kids. i mean he would do that honestly

AWW BOB SPECIAL INTEREST MOMENT he likes cooking ^_^

everything i do i do it for you 😭😭💕

LINDA ACTUALLY CRYING THIS IS GONNA BREAK MY HEART wtf i wasn't expecting this episode to actually get sad. what the hell </3 louise making her mom cry.....

"even though its really cool for moms to get angry and frustrated and cry in front of their kids"

this is weirdly reminding me of mother daughter lazor razor?? linda saying that she wished louise liked her and then louise saying wait you think i dont like you. their relationship is so weird and complicated but louise DOES love and respect linda and thinks she's really cool and fun!!! i wont hear otherwise idc

ONE OF OUR CHORES WAS TO LIGHT GRANDPAS CIGARS LIKE IN OUR MOUTHS??? LMAO WHAT THE FUCK LINDA why is this getting like weirdly serious is every episode gonna be like this now. are they just a little bit traumatic to watch every single time (also john roberts did A GREAT job voicing in this episode especially this ending scene)

MOSTLY BECAUSE OF TINA RIGHT AND GENE why did i literally start laughing loudly when she said that. god i love louise so much

aww they're babies <3 their relationship is the sweetest. you'll the toughest little cutie in prison

LIKE I SAID CANDY WAS LITERALLY THE SOLUTION those kids will do anything for some candy we all know this. we've seen the show before

gene its not even a question you WILL play coachella someday baby boy. you could probably do anything you wanted

GLORIA APPEARANCE i mean i dont like her but its been a few seasons since she was around. hello gloria is al dead

wait why does gloria have big ass badonkadonks..what who said that

aww the babies all asleep <3 little sweethearts

THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUN AND CUTE??? like genuinely a great episode that was heartfelt AND funny and had a really interesting story element to it as well. louise and linda episodes are always great and i love linda talking about how hard it is to raise good people and how much pressure is on them (and it makes sense that she would be more stressed about making them do chores vs bob because it was her mom who was pressuring her. big bob doesnt give a FUCK) a very fun start to hopefully a great season!!!!

#NOW TO GO TO MY TOTALLY LEGAL PIRATING SITES AND GRAB SCREENSHOTS FROM THIS EPISODE.......#txt #bob's burgers #episode review

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arduadastra · 1 year

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An unhinged recap of TLOU EP3

Honestly read at your own peril, I cried a lot in this one

*spoilers ahead*

So right off the bat I played TLOU with my partner very soon after it came out, and then again.....and again......(and again) a few more times so I thought I was ready for this. I was ready for grissly asshole bill needing to go find Frank because he's only gone and got himself in some shit and yeah joel and ellie come along I know where a battery is but oh no Frank got bit?! and have a cry but did we get that? No. Do i wish we did? Absolutely not.

But i am kinda bummed we didnt get pedro pascal caught upside down shooting at zombies because of Frank's trap....thats one of my all time favourite scenes

ANYWAY

The whole set up to Bill and who he is, is done so well and with comedy too. It's meant to be ridiculous in a way that someone like bill, a prepper and lets be real we all know one, who 9/10 is called crazy is now the smart one and we see him living his best solo life in his mini town

5. Years pass im thinking huh, that isnt too long, we arent up to present day yet and then i see my boy frank in a hole and im thinking OH YEAHHHH we get some BACKSTORY

6. "there is no girl" "i know" - why did this make me laugh yet cry in the same breath? its so bloody unfair people can grow up without knowing what it is to love and be loved simply because some assholes out there made it 'not the norm' and considering how bill grew up, im sure that didnt help either.

7. "have you done this before?" "no"

8. Young joel in that sunshine? eating with that fork on a fancy plate with pedro's non grey hair and looking clean as frick? this was for the pedro simps and i APPROVE

8.5 MY BOYS JUST WANNA GROW STRAWBERRIES OK

9. the raiders hit, im thinking SHIT here we go, this is when theyre gonna kill frank and joel and ellie will show up and bill will be an asshole and joel will think nothing of it and ill be screaming at my tv and all will be right in the wor- wait what BILL GOT HIT?!

10. oh he's fine

11. Frank isn't though

12. This is where im prepping myself right? I KNEW since i started this episode that he would die, he died in the game and he's gotta die here but im not liking this.

13. Bill stop naming Frank's pills fun names im literally crying

14. Frank: "This is my last day" Me:

15. I dont need to write the speech he made because honestly if i did i'll just cry again and im writing this on my laptop and i really cant afford a new one but you all know that made you cry too

16. THEY. GOT. MARRIED. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?! ARE YOU?! BECAUSE THIS SUCCEEDED MAN YOU DID IT - WELL DONE

17. Now here i am, tears streaming down my face when you lose something you cannot replace Frank has drunk the wine, im a puddle and then Bill.....this mother fricker....downs his glass and im thinking wait a miniute here....this isnt what happened in the game

18. "objectively.....that is very romantic"

19. ........ *frank castle voice* wait wait wait wait wait WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

20. my ass is in denial right, im like nah ok bill is gonna wake up and that'll be horrifying and heartbreaking because now hes forced to live on without the love of his life and joel and ellie arrive and his door is locked and i knew this aint the way it's gonna be

21. the letter. I need say nothing more.

22. So after ALL THAT, all the sobbing and crying and pact and 'we left a window open' they're just gonna throw at me some joel and ellie bonding in the car? theyre gonna give me the game quotes of 'what you say goes' ????????????????

TLDR: EP3 was beautiful and heartwarming and then soul sucking all at once. While i didnt get my refirdgerator scene i got something so much more and I loved them for that. Now im just hoping ellie found those magasines because best BELIEVE thats another of my all time favourite scenes from the game

#tlou #bill and frank #bill and frank the last of us #the last of us ep 3 #the last of us hbo #the last of us series #joel miller #pedro pascal

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astraystayyh · 2 months

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Hi, I'm sorry for the long rant, I'm too scared to come off anon, but I really need someone to share this thoughts

Hyunnie is such a lover, a hopeless romantic, a precious little ferret, I just can't😭

"And if you don’t know love, I will make the best of us. And if you know so much, Why don’t you give me love"

"It’s okay to sell me some pain, love me"

Like babe, slow down will you?😭

And how he keeps thanking stays for loving him and asking stays to keep loving him in the long run (still can't get over the clip where he literally cried while asking stays to not leave them). Coming on bubble regularly to share about his little adventure or TMI to stay. Sharing his arts and telling us some behind stories about them.

For the members, on their vlog, where he said everything would be fine as long as they are together as 8. He also mentioned how he didn't like skinship but on the group contents, he's somehow always attached on the hips with the members. One thing I noticed whenever he filmed 2 kids room with another member, most of the time (if not always) he sat really close to them to the point their legs touched. He even laid on innie's lap throughout the whole episode.

Yk whenever those post about which members you wouldn't date, my first mind would always come to him. Don't get me wrong, it's just... he's too precious. I'm afraid I would hurt him. Or wouldn't be able to fulfill his expectations about love and relationship.

I hope happiness will always be with him

Thank you for reading my long thoughts. Have a nice day!

hiiii bb please dont ever apologize for long rants THEY ARE ALWAYS MORE THAN WELCOME,,, especially sweet ones like this 😭😭😭😭

he isssss it’s like his atoms are bound by love he’s so so lovely he makes me wanna cry 😭😭😭 « if you dont know love ill make the best of us » is the equivalent of ill love you enough for the both of us to me AND IT MAKES ME WANNA WEEEEP,,, his song was so so beautiful i agree 😭😭😭 he needs to slow down with the romantic lyrics like wdym « i feel your scent it came to me as my own breath » HOLYYYUHHHHHHH

stop this will make me cry :((( he’s such a pure angel and his love for stays is so genuine,, u can FEEL it in the way he talks to and about stays and the way he looks at them 🥹 he deserves ALL the love in our world

anddd yesss 😭😭😭 i think spending time with each other everyday makes them so so comfortable with one another and it’s so so endearing to see,, PLEASE NEVER SEPARATE THEM

wahhh i never thought of that perspective :,)) it reminds me of the whole « i’d rather die first because i can’t bear losing you » vs « i’d rather die last because i don’t want you to go through the pain of losing me » 😭😭😭 he is too precious i agree, and his view of love is so beautiful i would too be afraid to taint it,, but im greedy so id rather love him and do everything to make sure i’ll love him right, i think it’ll come very easily to me 😭😭😭😭

thank youuu for sharing your thoughts with me 🥹 this was a very heartwarming read hehe

#sahar's.asks <3

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magpigment · 9 months

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duck or ape by roar and i dont wanna die by the unicorns are SUCH good songs for william my god!! i already had those songs on my radar but man do they fit him. Also i would love to hear any and or all of your reasoning for your william playlist!! 👁

this got longer than i thought and i still didn’t finish it so i might go back to this at some point and expand upon or add certain things BUT for now, enjoy!

ok so! not all of these will have explanations, and some will only have explanations, but most will have lyrics that specifically remind me of wiwi and a brief explanation. hope this is cohesive enough!

william wisp:

dead now by forrest day

ok listen. listen listen listen. this entire song? literally william to a T.

'Save the rest for another day like this Your mind has gone blank, you're dead now You're dead now

The flames I lack, maybe never coming back Under attack, I'm dead now I'm dead now

You creep, you've grown too cold to sleep Your eyes grow wide, you're such a creep You've reaped, you've sown, your own you keep You creep, you freak, you've blown it

You're alone, you're alone, you're alone, you're alone You're alone, you'rе alone, you're alone, you'rе alone [cont.]

All right, you've grown too old to fight Your life is shown in different light You laugh and toast your final night You laugh too late, you've blown it'

this entire song fits not only his first death but his slow loss of function over the next few years and his general uncanny effect on other people and how they perceive him AND how he perceives himself. i cant even articulate how much this song IS HIM in my brain.

momento mori by fish in a birdcage

'Like a muzzled hound I'm tied and bound A wild beast crying for release I want my mouth so I may howl And share with silence of the trees Ashes to ashes dust to dust Filling up my coffee cup One way to shake me up I never wanted to sleep My bones became a drip Now that I've had my sip After a little taste I never wanted to sleep'

ONE: wolves. TWO: in my head this is more or less how he never wanted his powers, much less to die for them, and how he tries to cope w them after the fact

oh! starving by car seat headrest

'Goodbye, secret files When I'm gone, all this information will die'

'Cats crawl into gutters Just at the sight of me You guys got mad skills I just got mad (I'm not happy unless I'm unhappy)'

this bit specifically is very william to me, because like. especially in early seasons he was pretty vocal about his view of himself as just some guy vs dakota and vyncent, with his powers not being some grand thing and his own struggles with heroism and morality. you guys got mad skills is to me about how he views dakota and vyncent, and i just got mad is about how his own abilities only ever served to make him worse off and how he feels like he could never use his own powers for good things (ep31-35 for reference)

i hate living by car seat headrest

'I wish I was drunk I wish I weren't here I need to be more drunk Or be less here And when the cops came Hiding in the back of the closet And these people would not stop laughing They could not shut their mouths Oh Wasn't I the life and soul? No no no'

'You wouldn't think having a good time Would be so goddamn hard You wouldn't think having a good time Would be so goddamn hard You overthink, you don't have a good time You just wait for it to end You don't think you'll ever try something as Meaningless as this ever again'

the comfort of a laugh track by roar

Why is it so hard to speak To people I don't know Is it something that you learn When constantly alone? When did I become a man Trapped inside a ghost?'

'If you could only see me now I know I'd disappoint somehow I'm stuck inside a fantasy Where I could be all you would need'

'Will I live in shame of the things in the past that I should have done for you? And is it possible to forgive all the ignorant ones if they're just too young?'

'Fake love, yeah, you know you'll be truly missed Fake love must be some kind of abstinence Let's not make much more out of all of this Let's not, but we still can pretend we did'

poor grammar by roar

'I can't see you when I need to How am I supposed to get through? Method-actor, suffering Try repeating once again, this time with feeling Premeditated like some sick joke Waited all night for you Waited all night for you'

to me this entire song really fits william and vyncent

duck or ape by roar literally this entire song. self explanatory lmao

nights like these by pigeon pit honestly this song just gives me the vibes of the three prime defenders just being traumatized kids and comforting each other and stuff, or specifically during the timeskip when it was just will and vyncent just trying to cope, and then dakota trying to find his place with them again after he gets back.

saintly rows (oh oh) by dear and the headlights OK SO. RELIGIOUS TRAUMA WHO?? not to mention the entire song heavily uses death and religious metaphor near interchangeably, and ghosts are used largely as that metaphor. it lends itself very well to his religious upbringing (even if it's not a super large focal point of his character but clearly both his parents are religious, his first idea for his superhero suit had religious imagery which he ended up not going with, and he, with dubious canon implication, has some sort of actual physical aversion to various religious artifacts or rituals such as bibles and praying, along with how much focus charlie puts on the fact that william keeps bringing up that there is no god) which is super super interesting to me. also the song has several allusions to being unable to sleep, paranoia, loss of oxygen and by extension the ability to breathe, 'Caskets for hands bury your plans right next to your songs', 'Out come the gaunt ghosts of your thoughts,' and generally being plagued by some sort of ghostly figures which cause paranoia which in william's case could be the wisps or some sort of extension to how he perceives himself. either way i think the song fits a lot!

im not crying. youre not crying, are you? by dear and the headlights

'Did the seesaw nights put their hands on you? I can't really say, I can't really say Are you swinging from the eaves in a tasteful noose? I can't really say, I can't really say'

in my mind this section fits with how he died the first time, following the wisps in the woods and falling and not wanting to fully admit to himself that he died that night

'You're following a flashlight down utility halls And then you mumble to yourself that this has all been your fault And oh, you're not laughing, you're not laughing, are you?'

this fits with his incessant need to solve mysteries and his tendency to blame himself

'Then the howls and moans pour from the black and it's a sea of blank faces straight to the back Aggressively mediocre in every single way Yet you're the only reason that they came'

this fits with when they went to the spirit world, his own identity crisis and his feelings of inadequacy in comparison to the rest of the team, and being unable to rectify that his own abilities help, and that even without them his friends would still want him around the rest is just like. vibes? and scenes in my head lol.

harness your hopes - b side by pavement

'And the freaks have stormed the White House I moved into a lighthouse It's on a scenic quay, it's, oh, so far away Far away from the beginning, the shroud is made of linen The yearling took the purse, the goth kid has a hearse Heart-breaking, earth-quaking'

'Minds wide open truly Leisure, a leisure suit is nothing It's nothing to be proud of in this late century And I'm asking you to hold me just like the morning paper Pinched between your pointer, your index and your thumb It's a semi-automatic, believers are ecstatic You see the way they cling, the cold metallic sting And I'm living in a coma for Donna de Varona The harness made of hopes, the lovers on the ropes Nun is to church, as the parrot is to perch And my heart's wide open Truly'

i dont wanna die by the unicorns

'I spotted the glow over the mountain, tonight My turn to turn in just when the weather's getting nice I predict: I die in a plane crash I see it now, I die in a car on tour And there's no one to stop this Nobody to loosen death's firm grip on me Doo doo doo doo I die It's true Doo doo doo doo I die And so do you My prophecy is almost complete My finger's on the pulse (But where's the beat?) We don't wanna die in the ocean (Drifting out to sea) We don't want to die in our sleep (-ing bags) DEATH: buckle up boys, we're going for a little ride Death! I just want one more breath! Can you grant me one more please?'

all the dying by mother mother

this entire song just fits him very well i think? especially with his upbringing in deadwood being able to see things that werent there and being able to see ghosts, and how prevalent death was in his life from even before he died

NOT TO MENTION ITS ALSO LIKE HOW HE VIEWS HERO SOCIETY AND HEROISM AS A WHOLE. and his general viewpoint on his own powers and his disdain for his powers especially in association with mallard etc etc

'When I see the damned in their dire straights Damning all the men with those american names I said don't damn the man, damn your hand For makin' a fist and shaking it all around Damn the hand, damn your hand Oh, you can damn the butchers and damn the beef Oh, you can damn the flies in all the heat Or you can damn the dying and dying and dying ♪ Dying and dying and decomposing Dying and dying's for real Dying and dying and pounds of posy Dying and dying's forever When I hear the crying of a siren in the night I think of piles of writhing people, fighting for their lives I see an image of a body, broken and beet red I hear the acappella angels singing for the dead I think of all the butchers and all the beef I think of all the flies in all the heat I think of all the dirt that lays a bed for bones I think of all the words that get written on the stones I think of all the surf that come crashing over souls I think of all the dying'

figure in the background by snake pool rather self explanatory methinks

friendly neighborhood poltergeist by rory webley

self explanatory also, but imo this fits very well with williams crush on vyncent

villains pt1 by emma blackery

'So I'll go I'm better off alone Run and tell them that the villains on my list They're the reason I've been pulled so low Monster, monster, I feel like such a monster Tell them I've been saved But the devil walks amongst ya, amongst ya I'll be the ghost the haunts ya You've seen my demons but you weren't really supposed to You've got me locked up but I'm not like you I'll be my own escape route, you know I'll get you caught up Got my attention I'll make you my victim'

'I don't feel anything Because I became possessed and obsessed With the idea of revenge Where you going now? Everybody's looking at you 'Cause you set yourself on fire just to light up the room'

youre not welcome by naethan apollo

'I can't believe you used to truly scare me You were like a ghost story told to keep me weary But I never listened, no, I slept good 'til morning And when our paths finally crossed, I didn't heed the warning Then push, push, push, push Yeah, you pushed me to the edge I used to dread the thought of falling quickly But now I just wish that you'd send me off that ledge So I can finally fucking take you with me'

basically this can be about his tumultuous relationship with the wisps, mallard conway, or the hero agency as a whole, or a mix of the three! however, i mostly associate this segment with his tie with the wisps and how badly mallard wants him to embrace it (especially the 'i used to dread the thought of falling quickly' because of how william died the first time, and then the 'now i just wish youd send me off that ledge' with him falling down the slope of morality in e31-33)

dead! by my chemical romance

'And if your heart stops beating I'll be here wondering Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life And if you get to heaven I'll be here waiting, babe Did you get what you deserve? The end, and if your life won't wait Then your heart can't take this Have you heard the news that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say, I Think they never liked you anyway'

'Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand? And wouldn't it be great if we were dead? And in my honest observation During this operation Found a complication in your heart, so long 'Cause now you've got (now you've got) Maybe just two weeks to live Is that the most the both of you can give?'

'If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke Then why am I dead? Dead!'

grave digger by matt maeson

'I can't run to you, Father I need love ♪ I can't talk to you, Mother I know it's got you caught up But your sweet sinless sensation is not my style And I'm not giving up But tell me if I run away How long will I bleed? Tell me if I run away How long will I bleed? ♪ Colors blend They're all black and white ♪ Goddamnit, I cannot bend I'm all shriveled inside'

'Ain't no point in tryna pick-a me up when I'm down Yeah, you can stick out your hand And you can lean towards the ground I'll be tryna suck all of the liquid out the dirt Tryna catch a curve Digging my own grave'

hand me my shovel, im going in by will wood and the tapeworms

'My soul was crushed like a tall boy Underneath the boots on the curb And I'm still picking up my molars And putting them back in my face My name was soiled by a last call spill With a backwash swill and the blackout killed me Sober on impact from a fall from grace Take the road on higher ground And tell me, "Don't look down, you'll fall and break your back" But that just reminds me how there's more to be found beneath the black! This is not enough This is not enough to prove it yet No, I need to hit the bottom This is not enough This is not enough to prove it yet No, I need to hit the bottom (Gotta get to the bottom of this) (Gotta get to the bottom of this) (Gotta get to the bottom of this) Take you with me'

'Looking up, we see the point of entry Between where we are and we've been Looking down, I could say Heaven sent me Hand me my shovel, I'm going in!'

'Gotta gotta gotta get, gotta get, gotta get Gotta get to the bottom of this If it kills me!'

this entire song describes william's need to solve mysteries to a T dude.

hope this made some iota of sense, and sorry for the lack of explanation on most, i just couldn’t figure out a way to properly articulate it 😭 anyway hope you enjoyed lol, i’d love to hear others thoughts and additions if they have any!

#dandy talks #jrwi #jrwi spoilers #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi william #william wisp

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diabolikpersonals · 1 year

Text

shin cl endings!!

euphoria end:

as carla gets ready to kill, yui sticks to shin and declares she won't let go of him no matter what. carla seems like he won't be stopping anyway, so kino's like "EAT THIS, FOUNDER" and slaps a magic-sealing talisman on him. (it's so lucky that kino got to take his phone and a talisman into this world with him lol, it feels like he's cheating)

shin casts his weapon aside......and PUNCHES carla super hard. then he yells his monologue about how he always looked up to him at him, and screams at him to come back. this seems to work, because carla looks dizzy for a bit, then he's like "ohh yeah I know who you are" YAY!!! yui bursts into tears about it, and shin's like "dont cry!!" and she points out that he looks like he's gonna cry too lol...he's really happy...I'm glad, shin...!!

"[because of the false memories] I even pointed a blade at you" (carla I don't mean to be an asshole but you've done that before without false memories lmao)

while those 3 are in their own world, kino leaves without saying goodbye, which makes me wanna die. like where are u going? aren't we a team? we still dont know how to get out of here?? kino we're friends???? COME BACK???? they notice he's gone later and yui thinks to herself that they'll definitely meet again.

anyway about endzeit. carla hasnt had any flair-ups or pain in the whole time he's been here. from this he deduces that the world they're in is like a bubble of space and time, so the reason his condition hasn't changed is because there isn't an actual flow of time here. someone must've made this place with magic, so it must have like, a core? and if we can find that core then we can probably escape. that must be the church! (we were already on our way to the church to solve the whole chess puzzle thing, so this explanation wasn't really needed, which I think is super funny lmao. he just told us we're on the right track basically)

.......kino, from afar, watches them head for the church. he says he wanted to go together though.......sniff.......but he can't now that carla's there, because his true identity might be exposed. I'm too emotional about this ;-; get home safely to yuri and then keep in touch later, ok...? it kinda sounds like you think this friendship is over, but that's too sad, so let's stay friends, ok??......

carla's big plan is "let's blow up the church." I really thought there was gonna be something to do with the chess board floor and the stone statues, but sure, that'll PROBABLY work. (if yelling at the sky worked in yuma's route then I'll believe anything will work.) so through shin's raw power we Tear That Fucking Building Down and the whole world collapses around us and we wake up in the real world, in eden! it worked because of course it did

socrates the magical sphere of light (which still cracks me up) appears and gives us his whole explanation which I've typed out a bunch of times now and don't care to explain it again. it's in the prologue. we get it

back at banmaden, shin and yui talk about all the shit they went through. shin always believed his brother would remember him, and it was that belief that eventually got them out of there. because of that, shin feels a little more confident in himself now. (aww!! happy for u, buddy!) in the end, he took down the church without relying on his brother too. yui agrees that he's even cooler now, and shin's like "then I'll have to make you fall in love with me even more!" and he takes her into the hall and asks her to dance. (he's talking like a gentleman ehehe) yui steals his cool "I'll always be by ur side" line before he can say it lmao. super cute ending!!

labyrinth end (fuck I'm scared):

carla tries to grab yui but shin's like "she's the one thing I won't give u!!" and he fights back. in this ending, rather than using his trump card, kino uses a bomb made of...pepper? and he tells shin to wolf out. shin and yui escape together, and kino says he'll meet up with them later. ...but he doesn't. (FUCK this is what I was scared of)

instead of kino, the one who meets them at the abandoned house is.........carla. it seems like kino revealed their whereabouts. they fight again, cuz shin won't give up yui. there's a ton of blood on my screen as shin gets slashed over and over then he collapses. carla takes yui away. shin begs him not to, and he and yui reach out for each other, but they can't reach...!

yui gets chained up in the violet dungeon with kino and shin, who were also caught. (hey, at least we're reunited?) they stay there like that for some amount of time, yui isn't sure. carla, in the meantime, has been busy destroying the other houses—killing everybody else. he comes there often to suck yui's blood and totally ignore shin and kino.

shin and kino are getting driven crazy by the smell of her blood every time. yui approaches shin while he's barely conscious, begging for it (this is so sexy help help help) and lets him have her blood. kino, also starving, bites her too. (wait, if you guys could bite her even while tied up all this time, why were you starving? whatever, I won't question it lol) so yui is gonna be trapped here forever, supplying 3 guys with her blood.

...it ends like that. wait, that wasn't bad at all. that was really hot actually. and I didnt even have to watch anybody die. this route was great!! even the bad end was fun! >:D

#text #cl shin

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lesbian-janecrocker · 1 year

Text

This fic is based off of my no suburb AU in which the beta and alpha kids never play suburb and neither do the trolls I haven't come up with a way they meet each other yet but I might make it involve Bec Jades dog?? ALSO HUGE TW FOR R@PE/CHILD NEGLECT/ S3LF H@RM AND DYING SO PLEASE OF U CANT HANDLE THAT STUFF DONT READ / DONT INTERACT!! thx xoxo ;3

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Your name is Jade Harley today is April 13 2009 and today was supposed to be a very special day but the days almost over the sun is setting and your dreams lied, you can't help but cry to know that everything all those years of day dreaming for this day the day you could start your life wasn't real it was all in your head it was never real and it lied and it hurts you just lie on your bed crying for hours you've lost all hope and your lost now thao day was supposed to be the end of this lonely hell but it will never end because it has just begun, your dog Bec comforts you as you cry your eyes out, you pet Bec as he licks your face, you know there's no reason to get up Dave will never text you and neither will John it's his birthday of course so he couldn't care any less, all of your thoughts rush through your head you now will never be able to tell Dave and Rose how you feel the way you would die for human contact to touch someone else you couldn't care if they where hurting you or hell even using you for pleasure as long as someone was there you didn't care anymore you had lost everything and now there's nothing left there is no point in anything now your always going to be stuck on this god forsaken island no, this hell.

//////////

Your name is Dave Strider and it jus so happens the 13 of April 2009 is your friend John's birthday, your surprised Jade hasn't texted you John and you talked earlier about how you where both going to play some stupid game you would have probably thrown out your own window, but your brother is coming home soon so you have to get to bed soon even though it's only 4:00 in your mind if your asleep he can't do anything to you the worst he could do was just to watch you sleep and get aroused but what else could he do.. right? God your so tired of being scared of him he's your fucking brother who you can't even trust because all he does is touches you Jesus Christ.. your brother is home now ( you hear the door unlock ) oh god ( you climb into bed pretending to be asleep ) ... Dave..? You don't have to hide from me come on! It's not like I would hurt you.. ( f- fuck no he's looking for you he's gonna rape you again you know that all you can do is hide all of a sudden tears start to form in your eyes as you hear your brother open the door reaching for the blood stained blanket from previous sessions..) / Soon after the session / ( oh my god why me why again I feel so sick I just wanna vomit when he touches me I can't do this I can't I can't I can't I can't I don't feel safe here i- i-m so tired I don't wanna be here I hope I just die I don't wanna wake up tomorrow I can't do this I can't live here it hurts so much I can't walk now. Great. )

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Your name is Rose lalonde and today 4/13/09

Is your friend John's birthday who seems to have forgotten to open your gift or at latest tell you about it.. and your other friends won't text you either and you've been trying to text Dave for the past hour now he still won't respond you supposed it's something with his strange brother who in your opinion seems like some what of a pedophile but what can you say you only know what Dave tells you and he doesn't say much when it comes to his brother! It's getting late now and you have to go find your mother.. ( you walk down stairs smelling a strong scent of alcohol and cigarettes ) m-mom- sorry mother.. RoseeeEe.. heh have you uh heard anything from your uhh what's his name um John.? Like I would carreee. God just go to bed.. B- but mother I haven't eaten yet.. So? Just god I don't need this right now just go.. FINE you say getting rather pissed at your mother you head up stairs tail between your legs now you truly understand why dad left.

//////////

Your name is John Egbert and today is your 13th birthday and you where supposed to play some stupid game with your friends but it's stupid like Dave said so there's no point in playing it.. but for some reason some one keeps messaging you?

CG). HEY FUCK ASS UH IM GOD AND IM TROLLING YOU UH WORTHLESS HUMAN SCUM YOU FUCKING NOOK SUCKING HORN RUBBING FUCK FACE CUN-

EB). Woah one you have horns and two your god??

CG). OH MY GOG SHUT UP THATS NOT THE POINT ALL YOU NEED TO KNWO IS THAT IM HERE TO ANNOY YOU AND THATS THAT ALSO HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FRIENDS ALSO GETTING THESE SHITTY MESSAGES BECAUSE M UH FRIENDS ARE ALSO TROLLS ANNNND-

EB). ok. So whats the point here man I'm tired just tell me what you want and today's my birthday so-

CG). GOG YOU STUPID FUCKING HUMANS.. SO SINCE YOUR UNABLE TO GET PISSED BECUASE OF MY VERY VERY.. FUNNY TROLLING WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED?? BECAUSE IF YOUT ASKING WHAT I WNAT IS TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WORTHLESS GRUB.

EB). Well my friend Jade is kinda upset about these weird dreams she's been having and they haven't come true and apparently she's been planning for this day her whole life and all so the least you could do would be to help her!

CG). HELLO? OK WISE GUY IM NOT A FUCKING MIRACLE WORKER.

EB). Well if your god can't you help anyone? :B

CG). SHUT THE FUCK UP OK OK I ADMIT IT IN NOT GOD BY ANY MEANS BUT SHEESH- GUESS I COULD JUST MESSAGE YOUR FRIEND OR SOMETHING..

EB). wow yeah thanks dude byyyyeeee ^^

CG). HEY WAIT-

( EB). stopped pestering CG). at 6:43 pm )

Welp that was strange. But whatever your tierd and your sick of eating cake all day probably Betty crocker cake mix.. hm I just hope Jades ok, she lives all alone only at 13 and her Grandpa has been gone for a year so there's no hope of him coming back any time soon she said he was really into adventurers andddd.. into some guy named Dirk?? Damn she really needs to stop looking through her grandpa's weird old gay fantasy diaries..

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Your name is Karkat Vantas and today the in human language would be the thirteenth of April two thousand and nine.. your now on a wild goose chase of messaging this human boys sad friend like you should fucking care. Seems out of your fucking control why do you even give a shit anyway I mean it's either this or playinv that stupid game with Sollux even though it was your idea in the first place.. whatever Karkat let's just get this shit over with...

CG). HEY ARE YOU JADE? ANSWEAR ME!! MAKE THSI EASY AND ANSWER DONT TRY ANYTHING!

GG). Who the hell is this Dave are you using an alt account on pesterchum becuase if thai is you I'm gonna be at your fucking ass :(

CG). NO MY NAME IS KARKAT NOW WJTA TEH HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM ANYWAY A FRIEND OF YOURS HAD TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR CURRENT FEELINGS OF SADNESS AND TO GWT HIM TO SHUT TEH FUCK UP I HAVE TO DO THIS.

GG). well my problem is that I'll be trapped on this stupid fucking island forever and I'm surprised I haven't killed myself yet mr. Karkat sir.

CG). SHEESH IM NOT YOUR THERAPIST KUAT TELL ME HOW I CAN HELP SO I CAN GET JOHN OFF MY BACK.

GG). well If your asking injsut want to leave this stupid island I've tried everything but nothing will work

CG). WELL I MEAN I COULD GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE MAYBE?

/Half an hour goes by no response from Jade/

CG). HEY ARE YOU STILL THERE???

CG). HELLOOOOO

GG). help please teh bleeding won't stop and it hurts.

CG). WHAT ARE YOU OK?

GG). no my wrist keeps bleeding and it won't stop I can't stop the bleeding please help

CG). DID YOU DO TAHT TO YOURSELF.

GG). god fuck off please just help me!!

CG). UM WELL IS THERE ANYONE THERE TO HELP YOU?

GG). a fucking dog that can sometimes teleport.

CG). WELL THEN FIND THE "DOG" AND LET IT COMFORT YOU OR BETTER YET TRY SOME OF THOSE FANCY THINGS YOU TRIED TO MAKE TO GWT OUT OF THAT ISLAND I DON'T KNOW FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP!!

GG). Iim bleeding out but I'll try I don't want to die please don't let me die Karkat it's so cold here don't let me die alone bleeding out my wrist on this floor please

(She slowly walks over to her failed portal to simply think about the one person who cared about her dying the only one who offers help as her wrist bleeds out onto the cracks of the stone contraption on the floor causing it to flicker green light..)

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you think you just listened to the last words of a girl who killed herself you feel sick to you stomach- FUCK OH MY GOG. a passed out red blooded girl lays flat on your floor as you see the same blood color as you tan skin, cracked lips, fluffy long hair, no horns what is this you know it's a human. But god THIS oh my wow i- CHRIST KARKAT SHES DYING DO SOMETHING FUCKFUCKFUCK ( you find bandages and wrap them around her wrist you lay her on your bed staring at her for hours wondering what to do when all of a sudden her eyes widen ) ( Jades POV ) OH MY GOD YOU- WHERE YOU HAVE HORNS AND YOUR G- GRAY AND A BOY? I- YOU SAVED ME DIDNT YOU YOU KARKAT YOU YES YOU ( he stairs at you in shock your so happy and scared all at the same time knowing that This the first time in years you have been around another thing that has feeling like you at least you think but he saved you. ) / She leans in and gives Karkat a kiss on the lips / ( Karkat's POV ) OH MY GOD you turn away S-STOP I I DON'T KNOW YOU I- i-m so sorry she says in a quite voice feeling ashamed of what she had done I haven't seen another person in a very very long time :(.. OH I UH UNDERSTAND BUT STILL- THIS IS STUPID SO JUST TELL ME WHY IS YOUR BLOOD RED LIKE MINE YOU COULD BE KILLED. I don't fucking know I'm just- thats just how humans are. Ok. Also if my portal worked.. then. I can leave. Whenever I want I'm free thanks to y- you oh my god OH MY GOD. PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS PLACE I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU KNOW PLEASE I LOVE IT HERE I LOVE YOU. I- FINE BUT PLEASE CALM DONE FOR FUCKS SAKE I'M HORRIFIED OF YOU...

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(End of chapter one everyone is always connected ) also if there's spelling and Grammer mistakes idc in only proof read the start and I'm rlly tierd so fuck off it's 1:00 AM rn..

#homestuck #fanfic #this is a cry for help #sensitive people DNI #I based Daves parts off of my own experiences btw..

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