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genderkoolaid · 3 months

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yeah, but you do mean 'loveless' like 'romanceless' right? Just cause you're not interested in a romantic partnership, and you're never attracted to anyone romantically, that doesn't mean you can't love your family and your friends. Am I understanding wrong? I feel like it's a widely accepted concept that 'love' isn't just romantic, it's about caring about someone, no matter if they're your family or platonic friend or your pet.

No, "loveless" means love-less. Another anon also asked me to explain as well so:

"Lovelessness" in the aro context comes from the essay I Am Not Voldemort by K.A Cook. The essay confronts normative ideas on love, its inherent positivity and what it means to not love. From the introduction, which brings up the question of non-romantic love:

This June, I saw an increasing number of positivity and support posts for the aromantic and a-spec communities discussing the amatonormativity of “everyone falls in love”. I agree: the idea that romantic love is something everyone experiences, and is therefore a marker of human worth, needs deconstruction. Unfortunately, a majority of these posts are replacing the shackles of amatonormativity with restrictive lines like “everyone loves, just not always romantically”, referencing the importance of loving friends, QPPs, family members and pets. Sometimes it moves away from people to encompass love for hobbies, experiences, occupations and ourselves. The what and how tends to vary from post to post, but the idea that we do and must love someone or something, and this love redeems us as human and renders us undeserving of hatred, is being pushed to the point where I don’t feel safe or welcome in my own aromantic community. Even in the posts meant to be challenging the more obvious amatonormativity, it is presumed that aros must, in some way, love. I’ve spent weeks watching my a-spec and aro communities throw neurodiverse and survivor aros under the bus in order to do what the aromantic community oft accuses alloromantic aces of doing: using their ability to love as a defence of their humanity. Because I love, they say, I also don’t deserve to be a target of hatred, aggression and abuse. But what if I don’t love? What if love itself has been the mechanism of the hatred and violence I have endured? Why am I, an aro, neurodiverse survivor of abuse and bullying, still acceptable collateral damage?

The author criticizes the idea of "true love" that is incapable of harm. Ze questions why we construct love in that way, and how it ignores and simplifies the experiences of victims of abuse ("It’s comforting to think that a love that wounds isn’t real love, but it denies the complexity of experience and feeling had by survivors. It denies the complexity of experience and feeling that makes it harder for us to identify abuse and escape its claws. It denies the validity of survivors who look at love and feel an honest doubt about its worth, as a word or a concept, in our own interactions and experiences.") Ze talks about being forced to say "I love you" to transphobic, abusive parents whose feelings of love was the justification for their abuse.

The core of what "loveless" as an concept is about is summed up in this quote:

There is no substantial difference between saying “I’m human because I fall in love”, “I’m human because I love my friends” and “I’m human because I love calligraphy”. All three statements make human worth contingent on certain behaviours, feelings and experiences. Expanding the definition of what kinds of love make us human does nothing but save some aros from abuse and antagonism … while telling survivor and neurodiverse aros, who are more likely to have complex relationships to love as a concept or are unable to perform it in ways recognised by others, that we’re still not worthy.

Lovelessness is against any kind of statement which quantifies humanity (and implicitly, human worth) in the ability to feel or act or experience certain things. Humans are human by virtue of being human, and nothing else. And, it is socially constructed! "Love" has no natural definition! Some people are not comfortable using "love" to describe positive feelings and relationships, and some people do not feel those positive feelings in general. And those people deserve the right to define their own experiences and their own relationship to the social construct of love.

In essence, lovelessness is both a personal as well as (in my opinion) a political identity, born from aro and mad experiences that challenges not just amatonormativity but all ideas that associate personhood and worth with the ability to feel certain things.

& as a note, there is also the term "lovequeer" which describes using the term "love" in ways which contradict mainstream understandings of what it means to love, and which kinds of love are considered worthwhile.

#m.#ask box #loveless aro

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matchingbatbites · 1 year

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Steve proposes to Eddie during DND.

He's played about a dozen times since the Vecna ordeal three years ago, just one-off stories with no real consequences, and while it took him a little bit to get a feel for the game, he's finally reached a point where he doesn't feel totally out of place.

It helps that Eddie absolutely lights up every time Steve agrees to play, that his boyfriend tends to go a little easier on the rest of the table because they all help Steve half-fumble through the mechanics. It's worth it when Eddie beams at him for figuring something out first, for suggesting a dumb play that has the table screaming when it works.

It's the summer after the kids' senior year, and when Eddie offers to run an all-day one shot to celebrate their graduation, Steve instantly starts planning. He talks to Robin, who absolutely gushes over his idea, and along with Dustin they plan it all out.

He learns the premise of the one-shot from Eddie - there's a big bad who's been taking people from the kingdom, and the king is finally forced to do something when his own son, the prince, is also taken - and Dustin helps him make a character, a fighter who is the personal guard of the prince, whose goal is to find and bring him back safely.

Eddie seems pleased with the character when Steve explains it to him, even more so when Steve suggests the idea that they've fallen for each other and have been lovers in secret. "You're such a romantic, sweetheart," Eddie says before kissing him, and Steve knows it’s a tease and a compliment, knows that Eddie loves how soft he can get over things like that.

The game happens about two weeks later, and Eddie wasn’t joking when he called it an all-day affair.

They get started at about ten that morning, Steve and Eddie, their four boys, and Erica all crowded around the little dining table in Steve and Eddie's little apartment, with Robin, El, and Max entertaining themselves in the adjacent living room.

At Eddie’s insistence, they take a break every couple of hours so everyone can get up and stretch and use the toilet, with slightly longer breaks for lunch and dinner (sandwiches and pizza, respectively, both provided by Steve and Eddie).

The big bad is defeated at around nine that night, and everyone is elated as Eddie takes them through the aftermath, letting each player character have a short moment to reunite with their stolen friends and loved ones.

Robin and the girls have moved to sit on the nearby kitchen counter to listen, partly because El always enjoys these soft moments in the story, and partly because Robin knows what’s going to happen soon.

Steve stays quiet, letting the others have their moment as he fights down the sudden anxiety that sparks through him, knowing what he’s about to do. He looks up when Eddie says his name, takes a steadying breath, and asks "Do I see the prince?"

Eddie nods, says "You do."

"I go over to him."

"He sees you approaching and he rushes to you, meeting you halfway. As soon as you're close enough, he throws his arms around you and says 'I knew you would save me, darling.'"

Steve smiles. "I say, 'I always will, my love' and then I kiss him."

The teens hoot and holler a little as Eddie grins. "He kisses you back, and for a moment it's like everything else fades to the background. All that matters is him, back where he belongs, safe in your arms."

Steve nods, and before he loses his nerve asks "Can I do something?"

Eddie quirks a brow, curious. "Of course,” he says, and Steve takes a breath to steady himself.

"I take his hand, and then I drop to one knee."

A couple of the teens give little 'ooh's as Eddie looks at him, clearly a little surprised, and Steve continues before he can say anything.

"Three years ago, I took my place by your side as your personal guard. I swore to care for you, to protect you from anything that would want to hurt you, and somewhere along the way, we fell in love."

Steve swallows, knows he's blurring the line of character and person as he speaks, staring at Eddie across the table.

"The last three years have been everything to me. Any time I'm not with you, you're the only thing I can think about, and every day spent with you is a fucking gift, because I know just how close I came to losing you."

The sudden urge to touch Eddie becomes overwhelming and he stands, watches Eddie's shocked face as he rounds the table and drops to a knee in front of his lover. Eddie's eyes are wide and he gives a soft "Steve?" as Steve takes a slender hand in his own, remembers the words he had practiced over and over with Dustin.

"I don't want to be just a fighter anymore. I want to be a paladin, set on a righteous path, and if you'll let me, I want to make an Oath of Devotion. Not to any god or angel, but to you, the love of my life."

Steve pulls the ring from his pocket and offers it to Eddie. It's very much not traditional, and at first glance seems to be just another chunky ring that blends in with Eddie's current selection. But Steve had to get it, the shield molded onto the band and the new 'beloved' engraved on the inside repeating what Steve always says, I'll protect you, I love you.

Eddie is in tears as Steve stares him down, as he gently asks "Eddie Munson, will you marry me?"

For just a second, Eddie is completely still, save for his shaky breathing. Steve doesn't get scared, he knows that sometimes it takes Eddie a second to register things when he's overwhelmed. He waits it out, and after a few seconds Eddie blinks rapidly before jerking forward, dropping to his knees as he throws his arms around Steve. "Fuck yes! Of course I will!"

Cheers erupt through the room, and a flash goes off when they meet in a kiss. Eddie looks over to see Robin with a camera in her hand and tears streaming down her face. “Don’t mind me,” she says, a bit choked up even as she beams at them, and Eddie’s head whips back to Steve.

“You planned this!” he yells, unable to stop his own tears from falling, and Steve laughs. “Of course I did!” is his reply as he takes Eddie’s hand back so he can slide the ring onto it, and he ignores the second flash from where Robin sits.

“Wanted it to be perfect,” Steve says softly, stroking his thumb over the ring, now at its new home on Eddie’s finger. “Wanted you to know how much you mean to me, and I figured something nerdy would hit all the right buttons.”

“I helped with the nerd stuff!” Dustin calls from his seat, and Eddie laughs wetly as he scrubs at the tear tracks on his cheeks. “I should have known something was up with you, Henderson. You’ve been bouncing off the walls for weeks.”

Steve stands up from the floor before helping Eddie up, and they both grunt as Dustin practically slams into them for a hug, quickly followed by a more reserved El. They hug each of the kids in turn and accept their congratulations, and after a few minutes Eddie is put together enough to actually finish out the one-shot.

Later that night as they're getting ready for bed, Eddie presses up behind Steve, one hand sliding to rest on his stomach and the other opening in front of them, revealing a simple, gold band.

"You beat me to it, you dick," he says with so much tenderness, and Steve laughs as he takes the ring.

"You can still do your proposal, if you want," Steve replies, heart swelling as he looks over the band, sees the little 'sweetheart' engraved on the inside.

"Nah, there's no way I can top what you did for me."

"I dunno, you normally top me pretty well," Steve teases, just to hear Eddie's delighted little cackle.

He turns and hands the ring back to Eddie, asks "Put it on me?" and Eddie smiles. He takes the ring and slides it onto Steve's finger, his thumb brushing over shiny metal, and Steve feels so fucking happy as they meet in the middle for a kiss.

#steddie #steddie fic #steve x eddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #joey writes #steddie fanfic #heres the proposal fic #as promised #i see you all screaming in the tags and please know it brings me endless joy #ily all #oath of devotion

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greenstudies · 6 months

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Learn to like bugs

Tips by someone who went from a bug hater to an entomology enthusiast

Learn more about arthropods - Being afraid of the unknown is a natural defence mechanism. This is luckily easily beat by learning! Insects, spiders and other tiny friends are very different from us and it makes our mammal brains struggle a little to understand. But that makes them more fascinating! Little creatures are so valuable and smart and social and you can learn all about it

Name and talk to the insects/spiders that you meet - You might feel ridiculous at first but this one really helps. It shifts the idea from "scary creature" to "just a little guy"

Hang out with people who love bugs - Passion and joy is infectious and nothing made me appreciate bugs as much as hanging out with entomologists

Visit exhibitions and join entomology walks - The whole vibe of these experiences makes bugs into something exciting (which they are!)

Be aware of how much space you take - You are a large mammal and you take up a lot of space both physically and with the way you live. Now it's okay to occupy space! You deserve to live and move freely and take up a piece of the world! But also realise that you take up space you don't use. The corners under the ceiling, sheds and storage spaces. Sometimes it's okay to leave this space to other, smaller roommates.

Exposure therapy - Let an insect walk on your hand. You'll find out it's fine. Start with something that doesn't scare you much and you can work your way up to scarier things. (Make sure it's safe to do so based on species and where you're from) For me the most difficult so far was a palm sized stag-beetle larva and it was fine! I didn't enjoy it but it felt really good to beat that fear

Many spiders pay rent - Spiders are a great pest control! I do recommend to check whether the spider isn't venomous but otherwise it's great to keep them around

Dangerous animals deserve to live - You should be careful and deal with these dangerous roommate appropriately. Sometimes this will mean you have to kill them but NEVER be cruel about it. You wouldn't hate a person for carrying pepper spray in dangerous areas, don't hate little friends for having defence systems

I know things like this can be difficult and you might not feel the need to even try but I promise it's worth it. It's just another part of our world to fall in love with. Just because you are big doesn't mean the small are unimportant.

#studyblr #tips #advice #greenstudies #bugs #insects #how to #entomology #cottagecore #goblincore #learning

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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months

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Tiny Vox part 2?

Idk if you'll use this but I just want to give it to you.

I kind of headcannon tiny vox the be dumber, because the unprepared small body can't load all his data very well. So I imagine Vox, being stupidly in love, trying the help them when they are doing the dishes or working on their hobby bit he is just making more of a mess and smiling dumbly in love. Like when reader likes to draw heb grabs a random coloured pencil and bring it to them. You know just adorable but unhelpful.

Pocket-sized Partner: VoxPet™️ Care Guide

Tiny!Vox x Reader

A/N: So uhhh- here's a teeny little Headcanon thing while I write the continuation for the VoxPet series because I love smol TV guy. That and I'm starting to slightly feel the burnout, well- I can't tell if that's the right term since I'm starting to look at my ideas and realize that they're starting to lack the coherence and polish they used to. ANYWAY! Here's a Headcanon list for the small guy before I post the continuation for it- so I hope you guys enjoy! Happy reading!

So given Vox's mostly bionic/mechanical biology, it makes sense that he doesn't necessarily regenerate the same as other more organic(flesh-based) sinners.

Instead, he has spare bodies to upload his consciousness and switch into if the one he's using gets damaged and needs repairs or is just not worth saving.

Hence he has a couple spares lying around.

It's just in this instance, the only spare he had left was in a less than desirable condition-

And the others were still broken or just beyond repair.

Having a his brain be it's own practical digital entity also plays into this, I'd think in his paranoia he'd have copies of his own data stored in cloud servers all over the pride ring too.

So it won't be easy should someone try to get rid of him.

Anyway, back to the body switching.

So this new body Vox took is a very underpowered and overutilized little thing.

Imagine running a Skyrim with over a thousand mods on the highest graphics using a 7 year old dell laptop.

Yeah. That's what Vox is currently doing.

The small body is already running at full capacity with his overload of data and it's not even all of it.

Just the basic necessities like his personality and habits.

Like, what make Vox- vox.

Everything else like his schedules, alarms, work, etc.

They're just uploaded to a cloud server with the rest of his complete data.

Oh I forgot to mention, in his haste to make this tiny cute form-

He totally forgot to give it the ability to form even basic speech patterns.

Hence the squeaking and beeping.

He actually can't talk, not that the small body would even have any more processing room if he did do that.

Vox merely figured that you'd probably find some enjoyment anyway in his predicament until the new spare parts arrived and he didn't want to keep moving around dripping coolant and blood accompanied by some sparking wires.

Let's not even mention the cracked screen.

His face being messed up was probably the least of his issues there too.

So you kind of had to take care of him as that small little guy in that hastily put together body.

Also, because it's so underpowered and practically at it's peak use-

Vox can't actually really use his powers much.

Which he didn't realize only until after he flipped out when Velvette and Valentino found him when the staff were panicking from him suddenly going AWOL.

In this tiny body, he only has his generally human memorization skills to recall important things.

Not his flawless computer memory, which was lumped in with the data this body couldn't hold.

He did thank his lucky stars that you weren't so upset about the state he was in though.

You'd often flip the hell out when he got hurt or just had blatant disregard for his own wellbeing.

I mean, when you can switch bodies like the socks on your feet would you be careful too?

I wouldn't, I'd try every single way to die just out of sheer curiosity and boredom-

Anyway, after you got over the initial shock of seeing your boyfriend all plushie sized and everything-

You better bet he got fucking spoiled.

Literally like a chihuahua in a purse moment.

Y'all know those build a bear clothes and accessories?

Yeah no you'd dress Vox up and down in those tiny things and he just couldn't stop you.

He could figure out how to delete all the photos you'd taken when he got back to normal.

But if being treated like a doll was all it took for you to just drown him in kisses and hugs-

You better bet this man would go ahead and pull something like this again.

Plus the compulsion to just aggressively cuddle the life out of him-

Well he's already dead but the point stands.

He can't help but soak up your affection like a thirsty sponge though.

You do eventually realize that he actually has to be plugged in to recharge though.

Plugged in by a port on the back of his teeny head.

What, where did you think he'd put it?

You're glad that Vox tends to leave all sorts of cords of different lengths around your apartment.

Something to do with his work?

You had half a brain to tie him up with those said cords sometimes-

It was irritating at first but after you organized them to keep, at least you didn't dispose of them since you needed them now-

For once the hardware spaghetti was actually useful.

And thank goodness for the long wire, because he'd become extremely clingy after all the attention and affection you'd given him.

Tiny dude was sitting on your lap being pet and coddled while charging.

All while you were reading a book.

Yep. He was a spoiled little shit.

You also realized that he didn't need to eat because of the charging thing-

But he could if he wanted to.

As proven when Vox just took a small part of your meal and slowly ate it.

It wasn't even a full bite for you but it looked comically big in his tiny hands.

He installed a proper digestive system but not a text to speech thing.

Sometimes you wondered if your boyfriend's priorities were a little more wayside that you originally took them for.

He was so cute trying to help you with the dishes though.

Couldn't really do much because of how small he was-

Not to mention the fact you didn't even want to risk any more damage to him since electronics and water are generally not a good mix-

But he tried, and you'd count him being adorable as helpful emotional support anyway.

Even if he really didn't do anything aside from play with the bubbles and smile cutely at you.

If he didn't have an empire and corporation to run you might actually just keep him like this-

Even when you were looking over at some documents his secretary sent over to sign-

You guessed it was because Vel mentioned that Vox was in your care for the time being.

He was wobbling around holding a pen that was probably half his size.

Again cute as hell, but an unhelpful distraction-

Now when you went to sleep?

You plugged Vox in again and just cuddled him against your chest.

The same thing happens when he "sleeps" whether big or in this form anyway.

Screen dims and then his company logo screensaver pops up.

Anyway, I say sleep in quotations because Vox doesn't actually sleep in the conventional sense.

It's just one of the many ways he can physically recharge.

So if he does sleep it's often by choice or because he just passes out.

If he wanted to keep going physically, Vox could just directly connect himself into a power outlet and not ever run out of juice.

Mentally though- it's why he actually needs our version of sleep.

Or periods of system shutdown where he can actually mentally recuperate.

Otherwise he'd be a cracked out delirious mf hyped up on caffeine.

Which he is sometimes regardless.

Either way, you'd pet and cuddle him until he fell asleep before you would also succumb to slumber.

When you woke up though, he somehow ended up cuddling your face.

You had no idea when that even happened.

He greeted you with a happy beep and a heart on his tiny face when you woke up though.

It was probably selfish as hell but now you really wanted to keep him like this just a little longer-

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel x reader #vox x you #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

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doughliciousfrosting · 10 months

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Your tmnt au meeting Monkey kid and the gang?

I think you're talking about my 2012 TMNT designs? Which I understand, theyre really far from canon HELPP but they're not really an au 😭 or they were never really meant to be. Anyways I have a lot of thoughts and I could explain why I picked each character and paired them up with each other and if I can I'll definitely draw the rest of them!!

I'll explain right now why I paired Mei with Donnie and Tang with April

First and foremost though,

⚠️ NONE OF THESE ARE SHIPS ⚠️

With that out of the way I'll start with why I paired Mei and Donnie. I like to think that Mei is a super good builder and tbh, this is actually pretty canon. We see her rebuild her bike in S1 Ep 3 and in S1 Ep1 she's also the one who builds their secret fortress which is INCREDIBLY made. With this information in mind it can be quick to assume Mei is a pretty good mechanic! In S3 of 2012 TMNT we know that Casey and Donnie spend a lot of time in the small barn out back working on stuff both seperately and at times together! While I do think Casey can understand some of the tech jargon Donnie talks about (as long as it relates to car parts) I don't think Casey can really understand the technical stuff. I think Casey's knowledge probably comes from self taught experience, as a result he can identify each part and what they do but not the technical terms for them and professional blueprints for things and stuff. Which is why I think Donnie would be absolutely ecstatic to have someone able to read his work!! And like I said earlier Mei is really good with tech as we see a lot in the earlier seasons before they delved hard into mystic magic and stuff. I would have paired Mei with Casey but I have other ideas grrr!!! If people are interested I'll explain more.

Moving on to why I paired Tang with April! I kinda rewrote April a lot HELP I think her writing had a lot of problems so I just changed stuff lol. I like to think that the reason April tried so hard to prove herself and stuff was because she doesn't want to be useless. I feel like she gets sorta babies a lot (mainly by her father) and it makes her want to overachieve to prove a point, prove that she's grown and that she's perfectly capable of handling herself. The problem though is the years of fighting experience she lacks. In a normal situation April can 100% take care of herself but in ones where she faces opponents with a lifetime's experience in combat versus her measily 1 and a half years the difference is huge. And on top of this April has to figure out her psychic powers, which in S4 literally blew up in her face. I just think she struggles with feeling inadequate, when she does something she wants to be the best and it's hard for her to feel like she has a place in the team when everyone else seems not to struggle the way she does in battle. She just tends to forget the difference in fighting experience even though they're all the same age. Anyways, being unsure of ur worth on the team and struggling with your powers seems like it would be right up Tang's alley!! Tang in S3 Ep8 has a huge tipping point where we see he struggles with self doubt and feeling like he isn't needed. Then later when he discovers he has powers he struggles to control them and get them to do what he wants. I think Tang reassuring April is just a really nice gesture!! Especially since Tang and April are like the most human out of the rest of the group (excluding Casey but he struggles in a different way). I think in a group full of spectacular talents, it's easy to feel ordinary which is a thought I think plagues Tang and April's minds while their characters develop. I tried to keep this short so I hope it makes sense ahhh if you're still reading you're totally awesome and cool!!!

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life-is-more-than-just-a-game · 3 months

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♠️ Being found in the Borderlands all by your own. ♠️

Summary: You have already been in the Borderlands for a few days and are familiar with the essential components. After a game, you've lost everyone you had a good bond with. You are the only one who was able to survive. Physically and mentally injured, you sit on the side of the road in the middle of the destroyed and desolate Shibuya district. Ready to drop everything - ready to give up - you'll be found by new players who may or may not have the willingness to help you back up when you've fallen so far.

Characters: Arisu, Chishiya & Niragi.

POV: gn!reader

Warnings: Threats, Weapon (Gun)

A r i s u

The sight of you reminds him a little of himself. He knows the look on your face when you stare in the middle of the void and don't make any effort to move from the spot, even though you know exactly how dangerous it is to just stay in one place and do nothing. When Arisu finds you, he immediately knows what's going on inside you, which is why he's already determined to help you in some way. The problem is that he doesn't know how to help you, considering he doesn't even know how to help himself.

And yet he dares to come to you after a moment's hesitation. Slowly, so you don't think he's trying to hurt you, but… even that wouldn't matter to you at that moment.

At least you don't even dare to look at him. You could say that your self-protection mechanism has left you completely. You're not afraid. No grief. Just… well, what do you feel? Nothing. Actually, it's just an oppressive void.

"I like to be part of someone else's suffering."

With these words, Arisu manages to draw your attention to him. He may get a confused, almost bewildered look from you, but it's worth it to him right now.

"All right, you don't have to say anything. Let's just… let's just sit here together for a little while and look into the distance. And if you need someone to talk to, then ... I'll be here."

What a strange guy, you think.

Still ... it's quite nice gesture, of course.

C h i s h i y a

Just on the way to the next game, Chishiya meets you. He actually had better things to do than take care of you, which is why he didn't want to pay attention to you at all, but he finds it strange that you don't respond to anything.

He's just a few feet in front of you and you're looking right at him. His gaze is focused on you, you don't react. He speaks to you with a "Hard Game Finished?" but you sit silently on your spot and don't even make the slightest attempt to give him an answer. Nonsense. Apparently, you didn't even hear him. What if he waves? You're still not moving.

That eventually makes him come over to you, just to see if you're at least reacting to it. It's sad to say nothing's happening here either. Only when he squats in front of you and looks straight into your eyes, do you at least give the reaction of you to move your eyes so that you don't look straight into his. Eye contact has never been your strength.

"Pale. Slight tremor. Indifference."

He doesn't care if you listen to him at all, but the fact is, he's going to have to give up the upcoming game after all.

"A slight shock, it looks like."

Without thinking about it, he sits down on the stony, cold floor, inspecting the wound in your face while keeping a healthy distance from you.

"I can stitch the wound when you come back to reality."

Why is he even telling you this? He'll have to start smiling about it himself. There won't be any feedback from you either way.

"It's okay", he says, "I have time."

N i r a g i

Most people who know him know how impulsive and violent Niragi can be, but as far as you're concerned, you have absolutely no clue. You didn't even mean for him to trip over your legs. You just sit on the floor and try to deal with the straightforward experience somehow. Forget the pictures of your comrades being brutally murdered. But now you are being prevented from doing so by being all the time riddled with a psycho, one might say, whom you have never even seen before in your life.

Normally, you'd apologize for what happened. I don't care if it was really your fault or not. As long as they leave you alone and go back on their way. And if there weren't any excuses, you'd at least take your legs and just walk away to get out of the situation.

Today, however, it is different. You let the curse and the provocation come upon you. Insults pass you by and don't interest you in the slightest. This, however, makes everything feel even worse. Don't you always say you shouldn't get involved with people like that? That you should just ignore them because then they'd stop harassing you? After all, it should be boring to just give monologues at some point, right? Not with Niragi, who will eventually point his gun at you, threatening to kill you if you continue to ignore him.

"Do it," you whisper softly to yourself, which is more than just serious. "Kill me," you continue, "there's nothing keeping me here any more…"

That's where you finally turn to the unknown, whom you have taken out of concept with these words.

He lowers his gun slowly and only looks at you with irritation. Did you really just say that? Did you really just give him permission to kill you with his own hands? To shoot you down?

"Wow."

Even him makes this speechless.

"Looks like someone's already done with their life."

Without saying anything else, he looks down at you in disgust, holding the gun loosely with both of his hands again, before only a bored "Hm" comes over him.

"Freak", he says, leaving you alone from now on.

Luck in unhappiness, you think ...

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shuttershocky · 7 months

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what do you make of samurai remnant so far? As it's a weeb game, I don't expect any of the normal review sites I trust to cover it

I /hate/ Musou combat and I'm sick of Servants, so me avidly talking about this game means it's way better than even my biases can overlook.

Here's the thing: the vast majority of Type-Moon games fucking suck, because they make visual novels, not video games. "The story's good enough to make you play through this abomination" is the battlecry of Fate/Extra fans. If it wasn't for Melty Blood they might not even have any games where people play for the actual game.

This is not the case with Fate/Samurai Remnant. It's not here to blow your mind out of the water, but it's clearly a title made by people who are both great fans of the source material and are very experienced with producing games on a budget. Solid execution all-around from combat design to character art to environments.

The most notable thing about FSR though is that this game cares a lot about how things are supposed to feel. I've talked enough about how great it is to have Servants feel like real powerhouses again, but this level of care exists within the rest of the game.

"How would it feel to be partners with a superpowered being?" is the defining question informing the majority of the game design. If there's a high place you can't climb without a ladder, Saber simply throws you up there with their superhuman strength. If you're squeezing through a tight alleyway, Saber simply reappears via magic on the other side, sometimes getting ahead of you and waving mockingly while Iori can only grumble and slowly pull his fleshy human body along a tight crevice. There is actual destruction in the aftermath of the first Servant battle that you can see for yourself, which informs Iori's motivation of putting an end to this death game. Iori's neighbors express relief that he's safe because they saw his house explode, or tell him about the whereabouts of his sister Kaya, making the town feel just a little bit more like a setting Iori actually lives in.

As Iori's relationship with Saber grows, the game also tacks on more and more mechanics involving their cooperation. At the very start, Saber cannot be controlled whatsoever and is entirely dependent on the AI. As you progress though, you unlock the ability to give Saber commands and even play as them for a short time. But that's not all, Saber's AI will also start to cooperate with you, following up on enemies that Iori knocks away with a finishing move, or calling for special partner moves called Link Strikes. When you're in trouble, there's even a chance Saber will come rescue you, activating a quick time event where they lock blades with the enemy, attempting to push them back.

This is what the whole game is like. Samurai Remnant doesn't have the resources of an AAA game with an army of developers to create features like ultra HD 4k textures for all environments or realistically shrinking testicles, but you can feel most ideas started with a question of "What would it be like to have Saber here and how do we depict that in some way?" Saber would be fascinated at modern (17th century) Japan, so they often run from place to place pointing out new things to gawk at and demanding explanations from Iori. They didn't have food stalls, paper, or money in their life, so Iori has side missions to buy from every food stall to satiate Saber's hunger, which murders your wallet in-game as you are a poor ronin living hand to mouth every day and need odd jobs to make money.

It feels good to play, and not even as a Type-Moon fan where a lot of these things are something I've been asking for. I mean it's good to see another mid budget game that's neatly focused on simple, solid execution. Most review sites are giving it around a 7.5-8/10, and I'm telling you this isn't a 7.5 from a Type-Moon fan pleading with you that playing Fate/Extella's Altera route makes it actually worth it, this is a 7.5 from people seeing a decently hefty, well-made title.

#Fate Samurai Remnant

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beautifulfuckup99 · 10 months

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May you please write a Yoongi imagine, doesn’t matter what the premise is, I just want a fluffy husband Yoongi<3!!!🫶🏼

Sure Thing!

Title: I've Got It From Here

Rating: G

Warning(s): Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Yoongi's Accident, Talks of PTSD, Anxiety, and yes there will be FLUFF.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy! Keep the requests comin!

************************************

He doesn't know what triggered it, really. Maybe it was sleeping on it wrong? Maybe it was the cold weather of Seattle, where he was touring currently? Maybe it was performing so hard every night?

No matter the real cause, this morning Yoongi woke with a stiff shoulder and a tightness in his chest like he usually got when experiencing this pain. It's like with the pain came the memories, came the flashbacks of the tire...

Yoongi shuts his eyes, wanting to push the image away. Days like this convinced him that he, indeed, was not over the past. But he had to be. For the fans, for the sake of the tour, and more importantly, for you.

You had finally gotten a free schedule to come visit your husband on tour and Yoongi would be damned if this trip was ruined by his damn shoulder. Damnit.

And so, with a deep breath, and slight wince, Yoongi got out of bed and proceeded to get ready to meet you at the airport.

********************************

It's all a rush of cameras and screaming fans and the flash, God the flash. It was broad daylight, why the hell did they need the flash on?!

And then as quickly as it's all too much for him, it becomes background noise the second your arms wrap around him. And he bears the pain so he can hold you back as you laugh in pure delight at being back in your husband's arms.

"God, this feels good..." You laugh happily as you snuggle more into his chest, kissing his shoulder softly as usually, and Yoongi bites back a soft hiss.

"Tell me about it..." He sighs softly as he puts his face in your hair, breathing in your scent with a deep and full whiff. You'd never know how much he needed this. Needed you. He felt calmer already.

"Let's go! I've been looking forward to this for weeks!" You laugh as you hold his arm while bouncing towards baggage claim. Yoongi stiffens and shuts his eyes. You pause instantly. "Baby?" You ask in concern.

"I-I'm good." He says fast. "Didn't get enough sleep last night." He says. You'd been hard at work these past few months while he's been gone. This was your vacation. And he was not going to ruin that. He could take it. He could endure. The smile on your face would be worth it.

********************************

As soon as you're settled in the hotel room, you're dragging Yoongi around the hotel and find a display of activity brochures. You gush over the different restaurants, museums, and live concerts they have this week. You playfully hold up a 'Folklore Concert in the Park' pamphlet. "Maybe you'll get inspiration for the next album..." You joke and he smiles a thin lipped smile.

"Maybe. Do a whole country folklore album. Hat, boots, and horse." He teases along and you giggle as you nudge him. He holds his arm when you're not looking and when you gasp, he straightens up.

"Festival! Winter Festival! Happening tonight. We can go, right? It's ok?" You ask hopefully as you look up at your husband with the same big eyes that always get him.

He looks you in the eyes. Getting lost in them was better than any coping mechanism. You were the best distraction and anxiety reducer. How could you not know how much those eyes meant to him? He finally hums. "I think we can stop by, look around..." He gives in softly.

"This is gonna be the best vacation ever!" You giggle and hug him tightly. He squeezes his eyes to stop the tears. "I love you!" You giggle and he lets out a soft sigh. "I love you..." He whispers.

****************************

Later that evening, you're led into the Winter Festival that was taking place at some park by a river. Families, couples, and groups of friends of all ages are running around. Christmas lights adorned the trees, and the freshly laid snow on the ground looked like something out of a movie.

You're wearing a casual outfit with your sweater and one of Yoongi's leather jackets with fur inside of it on top. Layers were the most important thing in the winter, so you didn't mind the wool hat and scarf you were nuzzled in. Yoongi holds your hand to the best of his ability, but the cold weather and the heavy winter coat was not helping. And the scarf around his neck felt like a noose.

And, oh my god, was he breathing? When was his last breath? This coat was so damn heavy. He couldn't focus on what you were sayin-wait. You were speaking?

He finally blinks, trying to focus on you as you joke about the huge inflatable decorations. "They'd look good in front of our place. Of course, I think if we ever posted our house looking like this, Taehyung would be the first to mock us for it." You giggle as you enjoy the 'Winter Wonderland' aesthetic.

Yoongi hums and you eye him a bit. Something was wrong with your husband. You could feel it in your heart. He'd been quiet the whole day. Barely eating, barely laughing. He was deep in his own thoughts. Something that only happened when he was either thinking of a new song, or when his anxiety got really bad.

You grip his hand a bit firmer to try and ground him, but he barely reacts. You finally move in front of him and stop, causing him to bump into you. He curses at the suddenness, and you watch him in concern.

"Yoongi..." You try as you make him look at you. "I'm fine." He says fast. "You want... Decorations." He says to prove he's been paying attention, but his voice comes out in soft pants. His skin is pale, his lips are trembling, his eyes show the panic in his head.

"Baby. Stay here, I'm gonna get you something to drink." You say fast before you walk off, pulling out your phone to check the time and to see if you could text the driver to come around for you two.

You're busy on your phone and Yoongi watches you walk away but is thrown further into his panic when he sees a black car swerve around the corner to enter the parking lot. The same parking lot you were about to cross to get to the refreshments table.

Flashes of that day runs through his mind as he takes off after you. "Y/N!" He screams in horror. You stop in your tracks and turn fast to face him with wide eyes. He grabs your arm and yanks you out of the street as the car full of teenagers speeds past.

"What is the matter with you?! You didn't see that car?! It could have-" You cut Yoongi off as you try and get him to focus, but he continues his panicked rambles. "I won't lose you. I won't lose you." He repeats fast, over and over again as you grab his face hard.

"Baby!" You say finally and his bottom lip begins to quiver a bit as he looks at you. His walls, his prideful stubbornness, his 'don't worry about me' attitude... it all crumbles down right in front of your eyes. You stroke his cheeks gently. "What's wrong, baby?" You whisper as tears slowly slide down his puffy cheeks that are pink from the cold.

"It hurts." He finally admits and your heart breaks as the realization dawns on you.

"I've got you, baby..." You sigh and carefully pull in his 5-foot 9 frame like he's the smallest thing. "I've got you..." You sigh as you nod at security to lead you two away.

****************************

"Ah... Ah... Ow!" Yoongi groans as you focus on putting some muscle relaxer cream on his shoulder and then wrapping it, so the lidocaine cream doesn't get anywhere else.

"Why didn't you tell me? You could've really made the pain worse..." You whisper as you carefully lay him back on a pile of pillows to hopefully help him rest.

"This was supposed to be your vacation..." He whispers and you sigh deeply. "If you weren't already hurt, I'd hurt you for being so dumb. This was our vacation. And it's not a good one if you're in pain. Marriage is a give and take game, Yoongi." You say.

"Yeah, 50/50..." He mutters and you roll your eyes. "No. Not 50/50. Sometimes it's 70/30. Sometimes it's 40/60. But the whole point of this arrangement is we take turns. You're always all in. Give me a chance to show I can be the 80 in this relationship and go down to 20." You say as you stroke his hair out of his face. He shuts his eyes at that.

"I don't want you getting tired of carrying me around..." He whispers and you stroke his soft skin before leaning in. "These shoulders can carry whatever your shoulders can't. Gladly. Any day of the week..." You whisper as you gently nudge your nose with his.

He looks into your eyes, his eyes teary. "You're not there anymore..." You whisper, knowing where his mind was. He closes his eyes, saying nothing, but nodding along.

You play with his hair a bit more and watch as he slowly starts to relax. "Rest, baby. I've got it from here..." You promise gently as he drifts off to sleep.

*****************************************

Hope you liked it!

#min yoogni #yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #yoongi imagine #bts suga #suga #suga x reader #suga imagine #bts imagine

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bobosbillionsknives · 2 months

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i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

#tw sa mention #theres more to say with knives and the plants too but thats an entirely different essay post LOLL #thank you again for the ask I was itching for some kind of excuse to get my thoughts together like this 😭🙏#my based takes #asks #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun #ive been putting off posting anything else to force myself to finish this...sorray yaaalll.....hope it was werth it thoo....#do NOT let him talk about trigun yall. 😂 !! you'll never hear the end !!!!#trigun maximum

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fatuismooches · 8 months

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Soft fragile reader + Dottore thoughts are the only thing that occupies my brain sometimes. Currently, I'm brainrotting over Dottore introducing you to dozens of modern things. We've talked about the Kamera but that's only one thing... mechanics! I don't know how much Teyvat has changed over literally hundreds of years but I assume it has to be a lot! And fragile reader would be disappointed they missed out on so many years worth of evolution from their coma... and also be very lost on how to navigate the world whenever they would be allowed to leave the lab. Like, everything is different. Your clothes from that era aren't fashionable anymore, reader (sorry ily.) Therefore the clones literally buy you a bunch of different things and you're just like... 😨 It's like a mini fashion show as these mass murderers are arguing over which color compliments you the best... (Zandik gives you a little spin and twirl as he compliments your style) Like... i know it sounds very simple but i like soft domestic Dottore + reader things 😔 Reader would definitely tailor their outfit similarly to their husband's to feel closer to him after so many years apart.

Ei was so happy by something like Dango Milk, I imagine fragile reader would be jumping for joy at the most simplest of things. You would overhear the Fatui soldiers/agents talking about things you've never ever heard about and then ask them for information, to which they obviously give you in the most respectful, monotone voice because of your husband's authority... but they're kind of confused by your practically sparkling expression. Every time you learn something new you immediately run to Zandik or a clone and start asking them for all the details! And I like to imagine you sitting on Zandik's lap as you try new delicious foods from the modern era... he really doesn't care much for food but how can he decline when you're feeding him a bite of everything? I bet reader would go bonkers if they found out that perhaps their favorite candy still exists, somehow even having new flavors! Or if their favorite book series survived, and then they'd be able to compare how writing styles and genres have changed... you rant to Zandik about them of course.

There are probably dozens of things that have changed over time, but I can't exactly think of any more that would be fluffy and cute right now. Will write more brainrot if I do 😭 Basically crazy mad scientist still making time for his darling fragile lover >> He grows to expect you sitting on his lap going on about a new thing you discovered existed now and then falling asleep frequently now.

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #zzz... this man will get me through this semester #i must dottore-ify my phone #what other modern things do u think dot would introduce u to??

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sunshades · 5 months

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grief in the city, or "how many days off will i get when my lover dies of consumption next march"

Expanding from this post (@puffles HI) or mostly just trying to write it out in a readable fashion. (lor spoilers ahead yeehaw 📚)

Just been thinking. Death in the pmverse city. It's not something you're really allowed to get personal with. But some people just can't help it.

In lobocorp we get a look at what it's like from the inside of a corporation, and like yeah the entire story is about it, but to me Yesod's parts more than anyone else's showcase this feeling.

(Yesod core suppression dialogue)

The question of detachment comes up pretty often, and he points out Malkuth's as the ideal behavior to cope with it- forgetting you're dealing with humans as much as you can. Through his arc in lobocorp he struggles with it, this idea that it can all be fine if he stops thinking of the others as having a face, a name, and most importantly (for him) a body. Of course a strategy like that stops working as soon as one remembers, as one gets closer. That is one of the main themes of lor.

We're introduced to Xiao midway through the game, and her story unfolds as we start to learn about Roland's. The way she describes herself is similar to how A talks about Yesod, though Xiao doesn't feel special for it. The softness of her (at the time) coworker Lowell confounds her.

(Xiao's key page)

Then the invitation reaches her, and therefore the news of Lowell's death, and this changes. Her reaction is intense, she describes it vividly. And it feels... kind of natural considering the martial culture of her workplace? Specifically for an Association whose mechanics literally run off emotion levels.

(Liu S1 reception)

But we immediately see that no, to everyone else this seems like an overreaction to losing a partner. We see it from Chun's reaction, then Angela's, who suggests she simply finds a substitute for Lowell, and Roland himself is surprised by it: he muses about the Light influencing the people of the City: this is such a strange thing it gets compared to the goddamn Distortion! When we take a look at Lowell's own book it seems to confirm that out of the two he's always been the one with the more unconventional mindset.

(Lowell's key page)

It's not groundbreaking to say one should care about their partner, but it feels like in the City this isn't really the case? It feels like having someone you cherish becomes something of a nuisance as it can interfere with a Fixer's ability to... well, work. Roland, though affected for obvious reasons, tells Angela about it briefly enough, and it seems it's not particularly noteworthy, having romantic entanglements but also losing them pretty quickly. It's something that happens, that you're supposed to deal with easily enough, and go back to work.

(Liu S2 second reception)

Instead Xiao's feelings lead her to do the direct opposite; it's noteworthy that before her reception she resigns from the Association, and immediately justifies herself to her subordinates by letting them know this shouldn't affect their careers. It's worth noting that Roland's story is marked by a similar situation, once he's exposed in his revenge quest, he loses his Color title as well as his Fixer grade. In both situations we find that the question of how to deal with Survival (being a survivor to the person you love) can't escape from the problem of Survival (how to make a living). The death of another puts you in actual danger if you actually care about them.

In light of this, Lowell's hopes and promises for Xiao read differently. His apparent softness and sensitivity reveals itself as something he can handle very rationally; aware of how deeply their feelings run, he asks her to vow to always watch over herself.

(Liu S1 reception)

Instead Xiao, and we later learn about Roland, embrace the horror of what's happened to them, and show us what it's like to go into the deep end of this grief; it's a deviation from what we might consider normal or #HEALTHY, but it's also a display of feeling that usually people of the City just... don't allow themselves to have. I don't wanna ramble about this too long, but since limbus vaguely uses the Divine Comedy as a source, in Dante terms I would say: while Xiao and Roland commit sins of excess of love, letting their anger over their loved ones take them over, the people of the City in general commit the sin of sloth, "laziness of the heart", it's people who refuse to let any kind of attachment in their heart, because it's simply easier not to deal with them. Roland's arc touches on it quite often.

(Natural Sciences realization)

Though Roland does eventually turn out to be, well. A big deal, a lot of his behavior in the library is supposed to show him as a kind of everyman of the City. In moments where he talks like this, he's expressing what it actually feels like for most people to live in there. This heavily contrasts with Xiao's own beliefs, the ones she develops through her love, and that leads to her EGO manifestation.

(Liu S1 reception)

By the end we also know that the truth is Roland's own mindset isn't quite the one he tries to preach ("that's that and this is this"), but the grief over the loss of Angelica, and more generally the pain for the life he's always had, still weighs so heavy on him he isn't able to just start again- he doesn't want to! As the stories goes on and he faces the horrors of the City together with Angela, even this facade of "sloth" fades away, and his actual feelings start to show, the love and the anger and all of the grief- he starts to resonate with the abnos as Angela did, a similar experience to distorting.

While Roland has a lot of interesting dialogue, it'd take a whole other post to talk about it (I'm sure someone smarter has done it already) so for the purposes of this and to keep on topic I only wanna talk about a little bit that Xiao doesn't touch on, and that feels relevant with the perspective of canto VI.

(Black Silence "soulmates" reception)

In one of the darkest moments, we get a (can I say it now?) ⛈ HEARTBREAKING ⛈ confession straight from the inside of Roland's mind, the fear that in choosing to move on he'll have abandoned Angelica and all they meant for each other. The "pair of linked souls" is tied on a mechanical level, to beat them you need to disrupt their soul link, a buff they give each other that makes them basically unbeatable- they keep each other alive. Roland's fear, after years of Fixer work, after seeing how little value a person's life has in the eyes of the City, is this: that the second he looks away from Angelica's death and his attempt to avenge it, he'll have forsaken her forever, that their love and life together will lose its meaning.

Only with the help of the librarians and particularly Angela he's able to accept that's not the case, and in the final reception he once again wields her name and her gloves, carrying on her legacy and memory for the sake of the future and the new people he wants to protect.

Finally, I wanna show an incredibly interesting piece of dialogue from Leviathan, between Vergilius and Carmen.

(Leviathan chapter 18, translation by @/SnakeskinFS on twitter)

Now, Carmen's take on love is... something. Love as she means it is what we know to bring to Distortion, but it is interesting that the actual implication in the world she draws up is what the people of the City need back is contact with one another, understanding. It's also interesting Vergilius calls it a word he's unaccustomed to. Obviously here it doesn't apply strictly to romantic love, but this does check out with how little we get to see City residents... well, loving each other.

Xiao for Lowell, Roland for Angelica, as well as honestly Carmen for herself, her vision for the future, stand out in crowds of cordial coworkers and friends of circumstances, for the strength of their feelings, love in its danger and beauty. The paths they end up following are messy, some very bloody, and done in remembrance of the people they valued above all else. It's the theme of love that entwines so closely with that of death, the question of what you do when you're the one surviving and left behind.

So here's where I think of canto VI- WH is so heavily defined by grief. This is partially tied to its literary influences, partially to the author's own experience, but the story is scarred by the various funerals, each of which changes someone's life, mostly for the worse.

Is this malicious? A little. A little... not? Like in the City, the feeling is that the dead, the memory of them, follow because they love the living. When we get to Cathy's death, she and Heathcliff curse each other back and forth before making peace again, but in the end more than their harshness, what hits the most is the connection, the yearning to be reunited- "I care nothing of your sufferings" is soon followed by "I'm not wishing you greater torment than I have", which leads into the Heartbreaking speech, that we already know will be very relevant in the canto, in which Heathcliff takes her pain as his.

NOW I see readings/speculation around that this will be portrayed as lcb Cathy trying to tie Heathcliff to his past forever/them needing to Kill Her, and metaphorically his affection for her in order for him to move on and become his own person, to which I say: meh? I think that misses part of the point, makes her out to be a plot device instead of a character that, like him, has grown in an awful abusive household, and laments in her deathbed that she wishes things had been different, and that the person she loves could stay with her longer, after circumstances beyond their control have forced them apart.

By the end of it, though we know that in the book it doesn't really turn out like she'd like, Cathy claims she'd rather him remember her words, and her, as harsh and cruel than nurse anger while he lives on, she hates the thought that he should suffer more when she's gone, because she, too, feels his suffering as hers.

To me this last wish she expresses is most reminiscent of what we see of Lowell's request to Xiao, the way it's not fulfilled until the last minute. Xiao doesn't listen and she goes on, fully aware she's betraying the trust he put in her, and that she might be the next to die. Because of this betrayal, her feelings, this excess of love threatens to have the best of her, to make her forget about Lowell and focus only on herself and her anger- the "love of the self" that is the Distortion. Her final reception has her talking back to Carmen's proposal and worldview, detailing the way her bond with Lowell, but also Miris, Chun and all of her men, have been keeping her strong to this point.

(Xiao reception)

With the awareness her lover is dead and gone, she manages to work through her feelings and gain strength from them, deciding that these bonds, and her memory will keep all of them alive through each other.

SO am I saying this is totally happening to Heathcliff in canto VI. I mean, nah, not necessarily. But considering the similarities he shares with these other stories, and how we've already seen these examples of the theme of grief over a loved one being handled before in the previous games and resulting in these genuinely amazing characters, it's something I think about.

As we're talking about a game adaptation that obviously can't adapt 20 more years of story (and let's be real, shouldn't either. If you want to read WH you can just read WH,) I think that would be a reasonable way for the canto to play out: getting to see one of the sinners genuinely lose it over someone's death in a way none of the others really did, explicitly showing the uniqueness of such intense affection in a place like the City, and then slowly beginning the road to recovery. Much like for Xiao and Roland, this being done not as a result of leaving the past behind, but as a direct result of their love for another, and that of their lover as well as everyone else who cherishes them (Miris, Angela and the librarians- I think we'll soon add the sinners to the list).

(post core suppression dialogue)

To quote another bit from our bestie Yesod, the hope that grows out of the rot, as the death of another, but as your own wounded self as well.

So to conclude. I think in general, in the context of how we've seen major characters work around their grief in previous games it'd make sense for canto VI to reach a similar conclusion, the death being something that weighs heavily, but doesn't obscure the possibility of a future. Still. Love as something dangerous that has extreme power over us, but as something that lives in us and can't be taken away.

#bell.txt #limbus company #library of ruina #project moon #edit ok all screenies are captioned now. how did i write so much #its like barely even speculation im just putting together some stuff that gets me thinking about the general Vibe. i love u the city #xiao roland and heathcliff talk. dead wife club (honorific)#btw Did You Know: if canto vi releases on white day that means part 2 will release right after cathys book accurate death day. LOLLL #lcb heathcliff #xiao lor #roland lor #canto vi #edit 2: VINDICAAAAATION

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boombox-fuckboy · 10 months

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I think many of you would enjoy Lost Terminal. It's future sci-fi, and hopepunk, and just, deeply kind.

There's an AI living in a satellite and he's very lonely. His name is Seth, he's inarguably a sweetie, and the Earth below him looks very very different to when he was first created. The climate has changed, the lights of cities have gone out, and there's a whole new ocean.

The only people who talk to him now are two other AI on the Earth: St. Petersburg, who was designed to predict the future and is now perpetually stressed because of it, and Antarctica, who was sent to the South pole in a massive research vehicle awaiting her crew, who never came.

Atypical to AI backstories, Seth's mother cared for him dearly, letting him choose his own voice, reading him stories, teaching him everything she could, and making sure he knew he was a real person. He similarly had good relations with the rest of his crew, who were never offered a way home to Earth.

The show delights in talking about all kinds of interesting things, like radio, seed vaults, radiation, orbital mechanics, sleep cycles, lunar photography, and of course, tabletop games.

One thing I value about it greatly is this sense, both in the story and from a meta perspective, of doing the best with what you have to help other people. In the show this often takes the form of community, sharing information and resources, being there to help where you can, and a theme of learning, both in terms of knowledge and just how to be. It doesn't pretend humans are perfect, but it also really believes that people will more often than not, help where they can.

Externally, this comes from some of the topics and representation in the show, which has plenty of queer characters, and an interest in mental health. A few of these feel as though they're not something the creator has much direct experience with, but that he's made an effort to research, understand, and give a simple but meaningful (and always kind) portrayal of. Asexuality, dissociative identity disorder, being trans, to name a few, and none of these characters are insignificant. I personally find it a comforting reminder that we always have allies out there, people who might know a lot or almost nothing, but who are still willing to listen and support. And that it's good to be someone who doesn't know, but is willing to learn.

There's transcripts for free on the Patreon, which come out with each episode, there's gorgeous original music, they've got simple but clean and effective soundwork (good for lab listening), Seth has a nice voice, there's no ads, and a new episode a week with surprisingly short breaks between seasons.

There's currently 12 seasons of 10 episodes each, and each episode is about 10-20 minutes. They aren't too heavy, and it's an easy podcast to pick up where you left off without feeling lost, if that number intimidates you.

I've adored this show since it was only a season long, and still do. It's worth the listen.

#lost terminal #Whenever I catch up with this show I am struck with fondness for both it and for Seth #So it's about time I entice more of you into it.#audio drama

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nonymous-nb · 8 days

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★═━┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈━═★

★ Subspace x Tall!Reader ★

★═━┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈━═★

"Tall ass bitch. — ..my tall ass bitch."

PHIGHTING! | Head-canon | Fluff | Romantic.

Warning/s: [data not found.]

Extra: [brain dead + my brain can't think of anything LMAO]

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ───────────────≺

• Ngl, I feel like Subspace wouldn't really care if you're tall or not..... lemme just write something up rq.

• Okay so, first of all, he thinks he's the tallest working demon in Blackrock. (He likes to intimidate shorter people with his height.. you can't change my mind.) So seeing someone taller than him and most importantly.. HIS OWN PHUCKING ASSISTANT— he was a bit flabbergasted when he wasn't the taller demon in blackrock now. sad lol.

• He does find your height quite useless and useful sometimes.. that's when he needs to reach much higher places that he can't reach that is.

• He doesn't like you nor does he hate you though, you guessed. he just thinks he doesn't need any assistant as he can do anything by himself, plus he has his biografts to order around.

• That's until neither of them could reach a tall ass shelf.

• He once ordered the biografts carry each other to get something off the shelf anddd... they all fell onto him LMAO—

• He did call out for you to get the stuff he needed, until you said something about him getting a chair or a ladder so he could reach it, yeah, he never asked again as he felt dumb of not thinking of that. -5 pts.

• Don't worry, you got him some mechanical parts as an apology that you think he'd like, so he won't kill you afterwards.

• He thinks it was a nice upgrade for his biografts though. +1 pts

• He is still an ass to you.

• But, he actually forgave you after about 3 months as you kept giving him the things he could use for his biografts, and occasionally asks you to buy some things..

• When he's chill and tired, do ask him about his latest inventions, he'll lighten up, he hides his little excitement and talk about it 24/7 and will never stop.. what have you done. +5 pts

• He now does insist that you go shopping with him at times, whenever he feels like it as you have an advantage to look for stuffs he wants. called you a dang giraffe too

• He makes you his personal eye shopping tree as you can see much higher places..

• Oh yeah, you carry everything too lol

• When you're now on his good side, he would repay you with a nod when you do/did something useful or worth his time.

• Don't worry it's gonna change overtime.. wink wink.

• For most parts, he acts like he doesn't like or care about anything, but wants you to get it for him secretly. do get it for him though.. +3 pts

• Oh, right, forgot to say that when you ask about his biografts or his inventions, AND you're actually interested in them??? Just know he's secretly giddy about it. +20 pts

• But now that he knows you're interested in his inventions, he showcases them to you, he never misses any damn details about it. (he talks about how efficient some of the component parts are too)

• Yay, you're on his good side, he's never letting your ass go now.

• Ngl, he dislikes it when you show anyone else with the same interest as you have for him, your interest shall solely be towards him, and him only.

• If he needs you for something and he can't find you? Yeah, doesn't happen you're the 2nd tallest in this building. no he doesnt wanna be on 2nd place.

• He also has this tendency to steal you away from anyone you talk to.. no matter how important it is, he's the boss, YOUR boss to be exact. So you should only follow HIS orders.. you are his assistant after all.

• Yeah, he only wants you to be interested in his doings and no one else. jealous ahh bit—

• [Y'know what, let's skip to when you guys are dating, yeah? I can't think of anymore bs.. why do i even do this..]

• You'll be the one carrying everything, no matter how small or big it is, you're carrying it.

• He uses you as a ladder, he makes you carry him whenever he can't reach crap.

• Also not only you're his ladder, he makes it as an excuse to do less things. Oh he could reach that? he calls for you. Oh no, it's it's a bit high up with a ladder besides it.... calls you anyway. You're his personal ladder now and you can't get away with it.

• He also makes you give him some piggyback rides, his legs are tired.

• Will definitely blush if you carry him bridal style.

• Don't do it in public though, he might present you a certain tripmine. *winks.*

• Also whenever he has some conversations with Scythe and makes him uncomfortable, he makes you as a shield.

• Scythe definitely think he's being babied.

• Overall, you're his.. you can't change that.

• You can't get away nor run now after all, you have him by your side..

≻─────────────── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

[Ngl, I don't think Subspace really cares about how tall anyone is, he just wants his inventions done and stronger.]

#♡nb writings #phighting x reader #subspace x reader #roblox x reader #romantic #x reader #phighting subspace

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elionwriter · 1 year

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Sherlock Holmes the Awakened: a Review

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Sorry, sorry, sorry, but I just NEED to talk about this game! I have been a Frogwares Holmes fan since the very beginning and 'The Awakened' was always among my favourite titles. Not to mention one of the games that had scared the wits out of me. So I have to speak about the Remake now.

First and foremost, I think it needs to be reiterated that this game was made DURING THE FU****G INVASION OF UKRAINE! During such dark times, the team kept working on this. I would have supported this game even just for this reason alone.

Now, let's be honest: Frogwares never had the most marvelous graphics nor the most polished of gameplays and this entry is not an exception. I still feel the map system is a bit difficult to navigate (I may be an idiot, but I had the same issue with Chapter 1) but I really appreciated the added help the game gives you when you're recreating a scene, letting you know which passage you got wrong. Last game I found myself changing everything trying to hit the right combination so I really liked this fix.

This needs to be said: the game doesn't feel under any shape or form a product for a new fan. Everything from dialogues to game mechanics sort of take for granted that you've at least played 'chapter one'. Honestly? I'm ok with this, I hate having to always go through nearly identical tutorial stages for games I know inside out (like Pokémon) and I believe that most of not all people who are going to get this game ARE old fans!

I wasn't originally a big fan of the new Holmes and Watson models when the last game came out but....I dunno, they have grown on me. I find myself liking them now for, I suppose, no other reason than 'they are very expressive' and 'I've gotten used to them'. I think it's gotten to the point that these might be my favourite models of the two to date. Please ignore how fickle I am! (In honesty, just to draw a similar parallel, when Roger Craig Smith was first announced as Sonic's voice I hated it and now he's my fav Sonic v. actor)

This game has something.....compared to its predecessor, that makes it less scary. I can't really put my finger on it, but I distinctly remember the feeling of claustrophobia building in me when I was in the Black Edelweiss. Or the sheer jumpscare I got when the sacrificed American detective on the altar had tentacles coming out of it and severing his head making it roll to the ground. I remember almost not wanting to paddle the rowboat under the tree of hanging men in the Bayou. I remember how viscerally sick I felt at the lighthouse by all the gore and blood depicted. This time round.....I just didn't. I'm honestly not sure why this didn't hit me nearly as hard as its 2006 predecessor did!

And talking about comparisons, one thing I'm a bit disappointed they didn't grab the chance to do in this remake was fix the loose ends that were left hanging in the 2006 version. I mean....they still abandoned completely the search for that one Maori servant, what happened to all the people they managed to rescue? Who hired the private American detective that was killed? Why give out the cheap pendants? I know I'm a bit dumb and need extra explaining than what is necessarily needed but...I can't be the only one right? Sometimes you want to be told just a bit more.

Now, getting into the really good bits, that make all of it worth it!

'Chapter One' acted as a 'de facto' reboot of the Frogwares Holmes series, and I honestly think that was for the best. I don't really see where they could have gone with things after 'Devil's Daughter' and their Holmes had changed too much to be the same guy from 'The Silver Earring'...let alone Watson. But like this? They have a fresh, clean slate to start off from and they can rebuild the two mains' relashionship and lore from the ground up in a more strictly consequential manner. And the way they are doing it? I think it's state of the art!

The fact that they poke fun at themselves on certain points like Watson stating: "What about when you used to roll up only one of your sleeves? Did you get bored halfway through?!" I think the Devs themselves realized this was a cringe design choice and I like that they said so out loud.

The meta-conversation they wrote in towards the end, 'because yes, this HAS Happened before and the story still has the same outcome', is brilliant. I don't think I've ever seen another remake that acknowledges that it is a remake, and in the general madness that is mounting in the narrative this makes perfect sense! It adds one more layer of horror and inexplicable to the tale. The villain's warning 'that the Final Problem is coming and Sherlock will fall in the abyss too' is such a powerful way to use Canon. The prophecy is only made more real and dreadful by the fact that this person is aware of what has already happen in a similar but different scenario!

Also, not them using that one quote from 'The Valley of Fear' novel which happens to be one of my all time favourites!

I say, Watson,’ he whispered, ‘would you be afraid to sleep in the same room as a lunatic, a man with softening of the brain, an idiot whose mind has lost its grip?’ ‘Not in the least,’ I answered in astonishment. 'Ah, that’s lucky,’ he said, and not another word would he utter.

I think the thing that has most benefited from the Remake is Watson's character. Compared to the 2006 version, this Watson is a truly compelling character in his own right and this time round he's not just along for the ride. In this version, you simply cannot imagine how Holmes would have done it on his own. Watson was in every way a key component to the solution of the problem and the reason why Holmes didn't drown in madness. That point is driven home by Rochester asking 'How did you defeat me?' and Holmes answering 'I made a friend!'

Much of the narrative in the game was focused on Holmes truly learning to accept Watson's friendship and him as a person when he was still clinging so much to his old imaginary friend. You can see how, at first, Holmes refuses to be honest with the Doctor about what he thinks and feels and it's only as they move forward in the adventure that they both open up to each other. You can see as the adventure progresses that Holmes shifts his desperate cries from 'Jon' to 'Watson' to 'John' and the Doctor goes more and more often from 'Holmes' to 'Sherlock'. Mycroft also points this out when he says that Sherlock 'went from one Jon to another'. But this one, John Watson, is real and there to stay. In the context of a story that happens mostly in the detective's mind, Watson's friendship is really what turns the situation around!

I could add of little tid bits which were so random and on the nose that somehow worked, like the possessed 'Heidi' doll or the fact that you had to actually 'Kill Holmes' with the booby traps instead of avoiding them.

Also, "The director Guygax was randomly killed.....by a doll?!????!?!?! Yeah, let's just walk out of here no questions asked. That's too deep a wormhole even for this f***d up Adventure to go down. I'm sure nobody is gonna ask us questions, suspect or stop us as we go out the main doors!" 😃 -Holmes, probably.

So, yeah, I loved this game despite it not being perfect and my love and support goes to Frogwares more that ever!

#sherlock Holmes the awakened #sherlock holmes chapter one #sherlock holmes #john watson #frogwares holmes #sherlock holmes devil's daughter #holmes x watson #sherlock x john #sherlock and jon #jon #mycroft holmes #chtulhu #eldrich horror #lovecrafian

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lyluvsgyu · 1 year

Text

Watching him fade away;

Part 1

Part 2

Genre: smut, angst

Warnings for this chapter: smut, a lot of angst and desperation, dacryphilia, dirty talk (beom calls reader a slut etc..), no protection (don’t do this), Slight breath play, overstimulating, oral(f receiving) , I think thats it!

A/n: hey so, I’m making a part two I hope the few people who saw part 1 will be satisfied with this! ^^ Enjoy!

Reminder: this doesn’t portray the members in real life at all.

"Listen y/n , I'm not sure of what I can say if I'm being honest here... First of all, stop crying, please... I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here with you."

It may seem like a harsh thing to say but he had the sweetest voice possible and the sweetest eyes, you knew he meant no harm in any way. Without releasing the tight grip you had on his shirt, and while your head was still on his chest, which smelled like his usual cologne, you eventually calmed down. Your eyes and face were still humid but no tears were filling them anymore.

"I think I respect you and appreciate you enough to tell you the truth y/n, I don't think I feel the same. I'm sorry if I lead you on, it wasn't my intention. It was all just in the heat of the moment, I didn't think it was serious. I thought not contacting you anymore wouldn't have bothered you. I shouldn't have assumed, sorry". He regretfully said, not letting himself feel for you, scared of everything going wrong. Beomgyu didn’t want to keep things casual, in fact he ached to know you more.

Sadly this was his reality, and couldn’t bring himself to let you in his heart, giving you the opportunity to break it. It was a defense mechanism and he couldn’t go against it.

His heart throbbed in pain the whole night seeing you break down like this, but he couldn’t help it. He felt it was best to protect himself and , at the same time, protect you from his doubts and real feelings.

Of course you knew none of that.

You definitely saw his response coming but it didn't make it any less painful to hear. he didn't want you back, this is, has always been, and will always be unrequited love. He was all too good for you, adorable, fun, intelligent, handsome, and good in bed. A girl like you could never interest him, you were selfish unhappy, and insecure. Even though he somehow changed you, you still remained the same deep inside, someone unlovable even for Beomgyu.

Without a warning tears came again, this time it was desperation that filled your whole self, disgust, and pity. You didn't quite whine and hiccup, like earlier, you cried to yourself, feeling ashamed. Your grip became loose and Beomgyu didn't move, patting your head while hugging you tight.

You truly didn't deserve any of him. You hated that he was still so kind to you? you couldn't even hate him. At this point the only person you could possibly hate is yourself.

"It's, it's fine you can.. let me go now" You said this with bitterness in your mouth, not wanting to ever leave his embrace.

"But can you grant me one last wish before I leave? I promise I'll never bother you after this."

"I, uh, I mean sure y/n, but-", his sentence was cut short, you shushed him softly, you knew he was going to say how he doesn't mind seeing you again, but for you, it was a bad idea, you were just going to fall deeper for him.

"I know what you want to say Beomgyu, but this will be the last time we will purposefully be seeing each other, I don't want to hurt myself anymore, I hope you get it"

"I do"

"Then could you please make this last meeting the best we've ever had?"

You weren't sure about this but it was definitely worth a try. He chuckled lowly and said "You're really a slut, aren't you? All you can think is about my dick? Pathetic, and here I thought this was serious."

The shame you felt was overcome by the sheer excitement you felt, if this was going to be the last, then at least make it worth it.

Beomgyu went on to lift you up, princess style, not saying anything. You looked up , into his lust filled eyes through your eyelashes. When you arrived at his bedroom, you didn’t even get the time to look around and grasp the new surroundings, as he harshly put his lips against yours.

He was on top of you for a few seconds , but then flipped you around to sit on him, more precisely on his crotch. You gasped at the feeling of his semi hard dick against your hot cunt.

“Tell me exactly what you want from me”

He said harshly, while rocking his hips into yours, you were already softly whimpering at the friction, unable to control yourself you roll your hips to match his pace as you throw your head back and hold his shoulders for support.

“I think I asked a question, didn’t I? Answer me now you desperate slut”

You moaned at the way he was treating you and answer in a whisper that he still heard

“I want you.. Please make me feel good , fill me up, please”

You practically begged him. Seeing you so desperate for his cock made beomgyu twitch in his pants, wanting to absolutely wreck you and make a mess of you. He wants to see you cry and beg endlessly.

He smiled a bit before going back to your lips, easing his tongue into your mouth. You were sloppily making out, while hips rocked against yours and his hand grabbed at your ass. You let some moans escape your lips. You wanted more. And it’s like he read your mind because he easily flipped you over, took your little dress off from you, and stared at you, with what seemed for a split second affection.

You didn’t have time to think much about it because as soon as the dress was tossed somewhere on the floor, he immediately went down toward your awaiting and dripping pussy. He swiftly teased you with his fingers, sliding them softly along your slit and your clit on top of the white fabric. He formed circles with his middle finger around your clit, and a wet patch was starting to form on your panties. He then licked up your pussy, with his tongue flat, making you whimper. This went on for a little, he endlessly teased you and licked you through your lace underwear. You couldn’t bear it anymore, your eyes were watering with frustration and you said

“Beomgyu stop teasing me..! Please… I want you in me”

He smiled, removing your panties harshly, almost ripping them off. And within a second he was eating you out like he never did. You immediately went to grab his hair and moaned as he licked at your clit. It was very wet, and he introduced two fingers into you. He switched from flat licks to sucking on your clit to stimulating it extremely fastly all while pumping his fingers in and out of you.

You were a moaning mess, calling out his name and grasping his hair to pull him closer. The stimulation was so good that you started closing your legs on him, not being able to handle it. But with his free hand, he pulled your legs apart, and mumbled on your pussy something along the lines of “stop moving”.

You were getting closer and closer, moans getting louder and his name coming out more and more. With him touching you how he knew you loved. And he could feel you clenching around his fingers and grabbing harder at his hair. It was his sign to halt. He sucked at your clit one last time and got up from between your legs. You were shocked and your eyes were wide. Not understanding why he stopped as you were so close, you were so frustrated you felt your eyes water once again.

Which was exactly what he wanted.

He grinned seeing you cry out of frustration, seeing how good he made you feel and how you already looked fucked out with your messy hair, swollen lips, and mascara running down your cheeks. He couldn’t resist the urge and kissed you. He grabbed your neck harshly with one hand, choking you slightly while the other hand unclasped your bra to feel up your boobs. You lean into the kiss and the slight shortcoming of air made you even more hungry for him.

“Get on all fours for me whore”

It was unexpected but you didn’t fail to obey. Going on all fours, exposing yourself fully to him. You arched your back and awaited his touch. Then you felt a harsh slap to your ass. You moaned out in pain and pleasure.

“You obey me so well hm? Good girl. I see you even arched your back for me? Are you that excited?”

You didn’t answer, mind all too fuzzy to even know what to say. Then a second slap to your ass came.

“Didn’t I tell you, when I ask you a question you answer, and here I thought you were good for me. You fucking whore. Are you so impatient for my dick that you can’t even think?”

He scoffed, and you answered before he could slap you again.

“m’ sorry… m’ so excited.. want you so bad gyu please I need you”

He felt himself get as hard as a rock at the nickname and the begging while tears rolled down your cheeks. He himself was getting worked up.

He removed his pants and his boxers, and his shirt. While you were still on all fours for him.

“Are you ready doll?”

The sudden nickname made you melt as you hummed a yes in response. He didn’t wait much longer before he spat on his dick and pumped himself a few times. You were already dripping so there was no need for more lube. He slowly eased himself into you as you moaned loudly “beomgyu ah… oh my god so big!”. He felt proud and eventually bottomed out, moaning at the feeling. “You like it huh? My dick fills you up so well. I’m the only one who can make you feel like this understood slut?”, you didn’t even think about the true meaning of this sentence and whimpered while saying loads of yes.

He slowly started to fuck you, grabbing at your waist. Then he suddenly fastened the pace and fucked harshly into you, slapping your ass with force. You moaned at every move he made, not being able to think at all. Calling out his name, as the only thing you could remember right now. Beomgyu is all that filled your mind. “Ah.. so good for me, so tight and wet” beomgyu let out. He then grabbed a fistful of your hair to pull your head back so he could kiss you. It was passionate and filthy, spit coating your lips and around it. He swallowed all your moans like it was the sweetest drink ever. Then he went on to mark you up, leaving hickeys down your neck and back, bite marks as well. He leaned forward and grabbed your boobs, flicking and twisting your nipples and his pace never faltered. He kept slamming into you with no mercy. You were a screaming mess, crying overwhelmed with pleasure and stimulation, you couldn’t even stand with your arms. Beomgyu noticed this and flipped you around, never getting fully out of your dripping pussy, filled with a mix of his precum, spit, and your juices. He got on top of you, putting your legs around his waist as he continues his pace. You hook your arms around his back, scratching him without even noticing. Both of your moans fill the room and you feel yourself getting closer to the edge. At this point, your makeup is long gone and you can’t stop crying while screaming his name. You manage to babble out “m’coming!!”. Before he slams harshly into you and rubs at your clit, he says “come for me doll”, he pushes you over the edge and you feel yourself exploding on him, completely dick drunk, melting by his touch. And needless to say, he loves it, he wrecked you and you feel so good coming around his hard length. He continues ramming into you chasing his own release. You feel extremely overstimulated and feel a second orgasm washing over you as you can’t even say anything, just cry his name out. And he comes into you as you come for the second time. He rides out both of your orgasms by slowing his pace and kissing you softly. Weirdly enough, you immediately doze off to sleep, maybe passing out from exhaustion.

You hear background ruffling and you open your eyes, it’s still night time but you’re clothed in an unknown shirt. You see him picking out a jogging and walking towards what seems to be a shower. You want to reach your hand out to him but you’re too tired. He enters the shower and closes the door behind him. Without noticing you. You feel clean down there but still sticky. You want to take a shower as well. But truthfully you don’t want to go further than sex. Going in the shower with him seems like disregarding his feelings for you. But you can’t help yourself. You’re selfish and you know it.

You knock at the door and call his name lowly. You hear the water stop, and him saying “yeah? You can enter the room y/n I don’t think I have anything to hide”, he chuckles and you do too. For a second you feel a connection with him, you feel like this is intimate and that you’re special. You quickly discard that thought tho.

You walk in and see him rubbing soap on himself. He explains that you passed out after it so he cleaned you up with a damp towel and put you in one of his shirts. You slept for a good while as he had the time to pick up your clothes and put them in the washer before wanting to shower.

You find yourself smiling at the action.

But you know it’s over now.

You know that the marks on your body will eventually fade and the ones on his back as well.

So you decide to rip off the bandage and move on with your life.

“Thank you beomgyu, for everything truly. I enjoyed every moment I spent with you, from the sex to the split moment where I got to know you. Thank you for making me feel special even just a tad bit. I won’t be mad at you because you don’t like me back. I understand. I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as you made me, you truly deserve it.” you laughed a bit before continuing “I’ll be stealing one of your pants, but don’t worry I’ll give it back to you, you can give me back my underwear as well then. Thank you so much for tonight. Goodbye".

With that, you turn your back to him, as you try to move your legs to leave, and you're not sure if it's because you're exhausted or because you really don't want to leave; perhaps a mix of both. But you can't make the move. Tears well up in your eyes and a lump grows again in your throat. You try your best to keep it in until you muster up the strength to leave. And as you make a step towards the door, you feel a wet hand grabbing yours.

You shockingly turn your head to look behind you, only to be met with an equally as sad and confused beomgyu.

You stare at him as tears flow down your cheeks and his, you don't get it and neither does he, but eventually, he lets go of you. And you understand that he took the step and him letting go of you meant that it was officially done. You turn around to the door once again, and you start to leave. As you walk out the door, you think you hear a whisper of beomgyu saying "sorry..i'm sorry"

You don't try to get why he is sorry and simply leave. You get it, it's over.

You walk out of his house, and the next day, it's like nothing ever happened. He still lingers your thoughts when it's especially cold outside, but that's it. The only time you'll ever meet again will be to get your stuff back. But will that day ever come?

It's been about 1 week and a half, and you think to yourself that the day will never come. So, you simply put his stuff on a shelf in your apartment, a small sign that you're still awaiting his call that may never come.

Beomgyu is lost deep in thought and tries to let go of you, he wants to forget it all. He knows you mean no wrong, but he's still scared. You never leave his mind, but he's never going to call.

You're now both unknowingly waiting for a love that will never occur. All you can do is watch the other from afar wondering how their loving embrace would feel like.

Not everything ends up like you wish.

#beomgyu smut #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu smut #txt hard hours #txt x reader #beomgyu #angst #txt angst #beomgyu angst #no comfort #txt smut #smut #love

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