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hangovercurse · 3 years

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Crash Into Me

You’d been MGK’s assistant for years, but you never thought you had a chance at anything more with him until one stoplight changes everything.

Request: “ok im so sorry if this is 2 specific but ive had this idea for ages abt pining!colson x an insecure/clueless!reader who has been his assistant forever. she gets into a car accident and calls him hours later to tell him that a temp will be taking her place for a few weeks (bc of injuries) and he's like ?? why?? she explains nonchalantly, then kells kinda freaks out and shows up at the hospital all worried”

Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, car accident (descriptive)

A/N: This was cute 😊

Word Count: 3185

“Alright Kells, I’m out for the night. I’ll email those tracks to the board when I get home and I’ll let you know if I get any updates for tomorrow’s press.” You told the blond man who was sitting on the couch as you put your laptop into your bag. You tried not to yawn as you heaved it over your shoulder, “anything else?”

You glanced at the kitchen clock that read 2 am and let out a small sigh. You were used to late nights given your job as assistant to a rockstar, but most nights you were able to leave before 8 pm. Tonight you and Colson had gotten really invested in the tracks you were editing and lost track of time.

“Y/N,” he turned to look at you with puppy dog eyes. He wanted something that you really weren’t gonna want to give him. “Could you come over early tomorrow to help me pick out what to wear for the Vanity Fair interview?”

You chuckled, “you know they have their own wardrobe department?”

He sighed, “yeah but you know me so much better than all those stylists. I trust your opinion more.”

You rolled your eyes as he tilted his head, begging you. “Fine, but I’m buying us coffee with your credit card.”

He broke out into a smile, “thank you, love you!” He called as you walked towards his front door.

“Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him, taking your car keys into your hands, and stepping out into the LA night. There was a soft breeze that shook the trees slightly, making you smile. It felt nice outside for the first time in a while.

Because of this, you decided to drive home with your windows rolled down, letting the wind flow through your hair. The roads were pretty barren by LA standards, so traffic was pretty much non-existent. You were sitting at a red light, your fingers tapping against your steering wheel as one of Colson’s songs played through your speakers softly.

You reached to turn up the volume as the light turned green. You pressed the gas, your car moving forward into the intersection. Suddenly you heard a loud squeal of brakes, looking over to your passenger window to the sight of two headlights barreling towards you. You tried to speed up to get out of the way, but it was too late.

The truck rammed straight into the side of your small car, pushing your vehicle over into the car next to you. You put your left arm up to shield you from any flying debris, but it was futile. The infrastructure of your car fell apart at the force, the dashboard collapsing onto your right leg. Luckily, your left leg managed to avoid the destruction.

You could barely feel the force of the whiplash due to the pain in your abdomen at the deployment of the airbag. Glass from the car next to you fell into your car through your open window, cutting into your skin.

And then all of a sudden, everything stopped. The truck that had hit you had stopped moving, allowing you to fully assess the damage. Your car was totaled for sure, and your leg was definitely crushed. You cried out in pain, breathing heavy and trying to see straight. You could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, giving you some sense of relief.

When the paramedics got to the scene, you were the last passenger to be taken out of the crash due to your car being in the center. A firefighter had to break the glass of your windshield, which was already cracked, in order to pull you out. When you told him your leg was stuck under the dashboard, he sent a team of men to lift it from your foot and another to pull you out of the wreckage.

They were all amazed you were still conscious but got very worried when you told them you couldn’t feel the pain in your leg. You rode in an ambulance to the hospital, the EMTs helping pick the glass from your skin and assessing your injuries. You made jokes with them to calm yourself down, something that you did with Colson and Rook whenever they got into accidents while you were out with them.

You thought about giving them Colson’s name when they asked about your emergency contact but decided against it. You didn’t want to worry him until absolutely necessary. You figured you’d see what the doctor had to say and if you wouldn’t be able to come back to work, then you would tell him.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the doctor said. In fact, you wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital for at least a week due to your shattered leg, bruised abdomen, and concussion.

The leg would require at least 2 if not more surgeries to repair and you would be on close watch for development of a more serious brain injury. After that you most likely wouldn’t be able to be back on your feet for another 8 to 12 weeks, which was kind of a requirement for your job.

It was almost 5am, so you weren’t necessarily thinking straight when you called Colson from your cracked phone. He answered, his voice conveying how tired he was. “Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Hey Kells, I’m not gonna be able to come in early tomorrow, or at all. I’m gonna start looking for a temporary replacement tomorrow if I’m feeling up to it. Oh! And I couldn’t send those tracks to the board, sorry.” You told him, only half registering the words you were saying.

The confusion was evident in his voice, “what? Why do you need to find a replacement?”

You realized you had forgotten to tell him what happened. “Oh, yeah! It’s kind of funny.” You started, chuckling but then realizing that laughing made your stomach hurt even more. “And by funny, I mean not funny at all. I got into a car accident. Some dude ran into my car in an intersection and now I’m in the hospital.”

“Which hospital?” Colson asked, suddenly much more awake.

“Hollywood Presbyterian.” You told him, “why?”

He sounded like he was rushing around, which he was. “I’m coming to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “why? I’m fine, you don’t need to do that. You have a big interview tomorrow, you should sleep.”

Colson sighed, “fuck the interview, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Colson you don’t-“ You started, but he hung up before you could tell him not to come.

Why was he rushing to see you in the hospital? Sure, you were friends, but he had much more important things to worry about right now. And besides, you were more casual work friends. He wouldn’t even know you existed if you didn’t work for him. Sure, you had a huge crush on him, but he was your boss, you were just someone he asked to do things he didn’t want to do.

20 minutes later Colson ran into the hospital room, stopping when he saw you in the bed. Your face was red from chemical burn and a few cuts of glass. Your right leg was propped up with basic bandaging around it. His heart broke at the thought of how much pain you had probably been in.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly, moving to sit in the chair on your left side.

You shrugged, “I’ve been better.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He asked, eyes full of pity.

“I didn’t want to bother you unless it was serious. Figured I’d find out if I would have to miss work before telling you.” You said, squeezing your eyes shut as a headache washed over you.

Colson’s mouth gaped open, “you didn’t want to bother me? You got in a car crash and you weren’t gonna call me unless you would have to miss work?”

You shrugged again, “yeah. If my laptop wasn’t completely crushed in the accident I would’ve just found and sent a temp in tomorrow, but obviously that’s impossible.”

“Y/N you’re kidding me, right?” He asked, exasperated. You furrowed your eyebrows in response, causing a sigh to fall from his lips. “Y/N I don’t give a shit about a temp; I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine. A little shaken and these headaches are killer, but they gave me a lot of pain medication so, I’m fine.” You smiled at him, your thoughts racing as you tried to figure out why he cared so much about how you were feeling.

He nodded, hand reaching out and landing on top of yours gently. “So, do they have to do surgery? What all did the doctors say?” He asked, worry in his eyes.

You nodded, “yeah, at least 2 surgeries. One around 11 am and then depending on how that one goes they’ll schedule the next. And they have to watch me to make sure my concussion doesn’t get worse.”

He pulled out his phone, typing away. “What are you doing?” You asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I just emailed the PR liaison for Vanity Fair and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it to the interview.” He responded.

“Why did you do that?” You asked through a yawn.

He looked at you like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, “because I have to be with you right now.”

You were very confused as to why he thought he had to be here. “Colson, I’ll be fine. You should go to the interview. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I do have to be here. I want to be here.” He said, sternly.

“Why?” You asked, trying to keep your eyes open.

“Because I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll just call you after the surgery, it’s no big deal.” You responded lazily.

He shook his head, “I want to stay here with you, Y/N. Okay? I care about you.”

You were too tired to process what he was saying at this point, so you just let out a hum. “I need to make sure you’re okay. I need to see you being okay. When you called me, I swear I was gonna have a heart attack if I didn’t see you.” He continued.

You were barely awake at this point, letting out a simple, “I��m okay” before slipping into unconsciousness.

Suddenly you were back in your car, “Bloody Valentine” playing from your speakers. The sky was dark green, almost like a painting. In front of you, the red light turned green. Like clockwork, you pressed the gas, moving into the intersection. Suddenly, the lights disappeared, and you heard the familiar chilling sound of breaks squealing. You looked over and saw those headlights coming towards you, getting closer and closer, brighter, and brighter.

You screamed at the sight, the familiar paralyzing fear coursing through your body again. “Y/N!” Your name played through the radio. That’s not in the song, you thought. “Y/N!” Colson’s voice rang out again before the truck made contact with your car.

You woke up in a cold sweat to Colson standing over you, hands shaking your shoulders lightly. “Y/N.” He said, relieved when your eyes began to open.

Your entire body was shaking like a poodle and your arms subconsciously reached for Colson, hanging onto his shirt for dear life. “It was just a dream.” He whispered as your eyes darted around the room. “You’re okay.” He reassured you.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered, hands leaving the fabric and moving to cover up your face. “I’m sorry.”

Colson sat on the bed next to you, legs hanging off the side as he stroked your face gently. “It’s okay, baby.” He turned to the nurse who opened the door, a worried expression on her face. He shook his head at her, “sorry, she just had a nightmare. She’s okay.” The nurse nodded but stayed in the room anyways, checking your vitals.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again, the words seeming to be the only thing you could say.

Colson shook his head, “stop saying that, it’s okay.” You pouted at him, trying to scoot over so he would lay down next to you, but it was way too painful. “What are you doin?” He asked, a smile on his face.

You sighed, “wanted you to sit next to me but I can’t move because of this stupid leg.” You motioned to the leg in question.

Colson chuckled, “I can sit next to you in the chair.”

“That didn’t work last time.” You whined.

He looked at you with an expression that was both amused and confused. You were definitely still high on pain medication. “What didn’t work.”

“It didn’t stop the nightmare.” You frowned, hand reaching for his. He chuckled, standing up fully and looking at the nurse.

She flashed him an amused smile, “If you want, we can try to move her. I don’t know how much we can do without hurting her ribs, though.”

Colson nodded with a gracious smile, “hear that? We can’t move you because of your ribs.”

You glared at him, “I may be very high right now, but I’m not that high.” You said, making him giggle. “She said you could try.”

Colson let out an exasperated sigh, one arm going under your back and the other under your left leg. “Is this what it’s like taking care of me all the time?” He asked and you nodded your head firmly.

“Yep. Except I am much smaller than you, so you have less work to do with me.” You smiled as he lifted you off the bed, which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ow!” You yelped and Colson quickly set you down, slightly closer to the right side of the bed.

“Fuck, sorry princess. Are you okay?” He asked, voice soft.

You nodded, sucking in your bottom lip to block the whimpers of pain that threatened to escape your mouth. “You probably don’t remember, but one time you were so crossed that you called me to pick you up from a party. But you couldn’t make it out of the car, so I had to carry you into your house. And then you demanded to sleep in your own room, so you made me drag you up the stairs instead of passing out on the couch like normal.”

Colson let out a breathy chuckle, glad you weren’t hurt too much. He carefully sat onto the cot next to you, pulling up his right leg to sit on the bed. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into him slightly. You shifted so that you were comfortable, left hand finding his own left hand and holding it. He brought his left leg up onto the bed so he was fully laying with you.

Your head rest on his chest, a soft smile on your face as his thumb rubbed circles on your hand. The nurse left, satisfied that you wouldn’t hurt yourself further. Colson pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“What time is it?” You asked him, to which he responded by pulling out his phone and showing you the lock screen. 8:47am. You nodded, a frown on your face, “did you get any sleep?” You asked him softly.

“I’m fine, I was asleep for a few hours before you called me.”

You sighed, feeling guilty. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

You felt him shake his head from behind you, “I’m staying right here.”

Despite wanting to force him to go home, you couldn’t help the happiness you felt at his stubbornness to stay with you. “You know you don’t need to be here. I won’t be offended if you leave.”

He chuckled, “stop trying to get me to leave. I’m here. On my own accord, okay? I’m gonna take care of you.”

You paused, thinking about the word floating around your head. “Why?” you whispered.

Colson’s face scrunched in confusion, “what do you mean “why”? Because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“I mean, yeah. But I’m not like a “drop everything” kind of friend, I’m just your assistant.” You muttered.

Colson made an “are-you-serious?” face and let out a snort. “Seriously? You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You mean the world to me, of course I’d drop everything for you.”

You couldn’t think of a response, his words making your heart race. “oh.” Was the best you could come up with.

“Y/N, seriously, you think way too low of yourself. You’re amazing.” He said, nose burying into your hair.

You shrugged, “you only say that because I take care of you when you’re drunk and help you do all the things you don’t want to do.”

Colson’s expression softened, a frown forming on his face. “I’m saying that because I think the world of you. You’re the kindest, funniest, coolest person I know. I meant it, when you told me you were in the hospital, my heart almost stopped. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about you being hurt.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I wish you could see how much you mean to me.” He mumbled.

You were quiet for a little while, processing what he had said. “You’re only saying that because I’m in the hospital.” You muttered, a frown on your face. You were trying to keep your hopes low, knowing once you were out of here, he would regret saying any of this.

“Y/N, are you being serious right now? I’m saying this because I’ve been fucking in love with you for the past year and a half.” He said and you could feel your breath catch in your throat. “I can’t believe you don’t see it.”

You bit your lip, turning to look up to him. “I just- I didn’t want- you wouldn’t.” You stumbled over your words, taking a deep breath, and starting again. “I didn’t want to read too much into it or get my hopes up. I figured you’d never be into someone like me so I just told myself you were being nice. I thought you only treated me well because I worked for you.” You mumbled.

He frowned, holding you tighter to him, “I am so, so into you. You are the only woman in my life who has ever stuck by me through my worst shit. Like even when I was a total jackass you stayed with me. How could I not fall in love with you?”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill at his sweet sentiment. You’d never had anyone say something that kind about you. You’d always assumed people only kept you around because you did stuff for them, but here was the man you were in love with telling you that he cared about you for you.

“I love you too.” You whispered, leaning your head further into his chest.

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #colson baker imagine #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #colson imagine

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taehyungsgrowl · 3 years

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What about Boxer!Duncan getting seriously hurt?? And Reader being worried about him while he's in the hospital?

oooh... something angsty for my baby :(

also i apologize that im not writing full length one shots/blurbs for the boxer concepts right now! gonna try to finish the tribes of eden before i take on something else!

buuuuut i do hope youre all enjoying my small ramblings (screaming) about them in the mean time!

Every time Duncan stepped foot in the ring, whether it was just for practice or another million dollar fight - Y/N's heart pounded with cortisol.

She knew it was part of the gig - fiancee of light-weight champion Duncan Shepherd - he always ran the risk of serious injury.

He'd been lucky enough to not been harmed in a pressing manner, but tonight, when the back of his head hit the ground at full speed, Y/N, and the rest of the stadium fell silent for a moment that felt like an entirety.

Her whole world stopped as she watched from the stands. The referee yelled for a medic when he realized Duncan was unresponsive.

Y/N heard her friends voice, a thousand miles away even though she was standing right next to her. Muffled. Far. Y/N wasn't there. She was frozen and couldn't tear her eyes away from the medics who were lifting Duncan on to the stretcher.

She barely registered as security shuffled her through the crowd - hundreds of patrons standing in respect as they watched her being taken back, following on the medical teams heels.

Once she was close enough to actually see Duncan, she snapped out of her shocked state. He had dried blood around his nose and his purpled eyes were drooping close. His chest barely moved with his slowed respiration.

"Dunc!" she tried to push past the first responder who had a stethoscope to his chest. Hot tears quietly fell down her face. "Dunc, please, baby," her voice broke. "Baby, I'm right here," she grabbed on to his hand with all her strength.

"Miss," the paramedics gave her an apologetic look, but they needed her to move to be able to work, "Please, step back."

Y/N was about to argue back, but right as she opened her mouth, one of Duncan's colleagues had his hand on her shoulder and led her back to give them room to work. She'd seen him around the gym plenty of times working out and practicing with Duncan. Jim, she thought his name was.

"Come here, let's give them some room, yeah?" he spoke softly, taking her to the black leather couch before he handed her a bottled water. She was pretty sure he kept trying to talk to her - probably trying to calm her down, but again, his voice sounded a million miles away.

She kept focused on Duncan. Y/N couldn't imagine what she would do if something happened to him - she couldn't bring herself to think it.

Anger and frustration boiled within her, "What's happening! Is he going to be okay?" she stood up from the couch, too on edge to be still.

"We're taking him to the hospital. We need to do a scan - he hit his head pretty hard," one of them explained.

The entire ambulance ride to the hospital, Y/N held on to his hand. She quietly spoke to her unconscious fiance, bargaining with him to just... wake up.

"Please, Duncan," she whispered. The paramedics pretended they couldn't hear her so she could process what she was feeling in peace, "I need you here with me, baby." She kissed his forehead, tears falling on to his chest.

"I love you so much, baby...."

Duncan was rushed into the emergency room and taken away from Y/N.

She paced the empty waiting room all night waiting for an update. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, kiss every bruise on his skin, and tell him again how much she loved him.

After about two hours in the waiting room, more people from the fight started to show up. His manager, his friend from the gym, his coach - everyone coming in to show not only Duncan their support, but Y/N as well.

Everyone gave her hugs and told her if there were anything she needed to just let them know.

The only thing she knew she needed was Duncan.

"Y/N?" she looked up at the sound of her name. She looked up at the doorway to see Duncan's opponent, the one who knocked him down - the one who hurt him, standing there.

He had changed from his boxing uniform to a pair of sweats and clean thsirt.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am," he bowed his head. They all knew it wasn't intentional. It was all part of the sport.

Rationally, Y/N knew - she and Duncan had had conversations about this very thing countless times. There had been instances where Duncan had injured other boxers pretty badly.

It was a sport.

A very dangerous and stupid sport.

Knowing all that didn't stop the angry tears that followed. And it didn't stop her from going up to him and sobbing. Her fists balled up and she punched at his chest - getting out her frustrations against his toned chest.

"How could you!" she cried.

He took her advances like a champ - understanding she was upset. He let her hit at his chest a couple of times before Jim stood up from his seat and pulled her away.

"Y/N," Jim spoke a little louder than he had earlier. "Duncan is going to be okay. You know it's not his fault. He's here for Duncan too," he led her back to her seat.

"Sorry," she mumbled to everyone in the room, "Just... so scared,"

As the night went on, people slowly started to trickle out of the hospital, leaving her with condolences.

"Miss Y/L/N?" a doctor finally called her over. She got on her feet immediately. She walked up to the doctor, holding her breath as she waited for what he was going to say next.

"The good news is Mr. Shepherd is awake," she released the breath she held in, "He is going to be fine..." the doctor placed his hand on her arm, sorrow in his eyes, "He's experiencing what we believe is short term," he paused watching as she processed his words, "amnesia."

"Mr. Shepherd appears to have lost some of his memory,"

What did that even mean?

Her heart started to accelerate again, "What does that mean? What doesn't he remember? Can I see him? Will his memory come back? Do-" her million questions were stopped.

"There are still some tests we need to do before we can determine any of that," he sighed.

"Would you like to see him?"

She silently cursed the doctor for the stupid question - of course she wanted to see him.

She needed to.

okay I'm gonna stop there before i go down the rest of this rabbit hole bc this was supposed to be like a paragraph vkdfjv vjfs

ill answer some other boxer dunc stuff that isn't as angsty fjksdf I'm sorry vfjsv

#no bc i wanna continue this vfdjkhsk #duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd angst #duncan shepherd fan fic #duncan shepherd x reader #boxer!duncan #cody fern #also @ virgo anon this made me think of dumb!reader forgetting nate fvjfsk

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thelovelylolly · 3 years

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Risked

Request (by @emilaa2001 ): I don't know if requests are open, so feel free to ignore it! Could you do (clone wars) Anakin X Jedi reader? Basically reader knows she is pregnant and her days in jedi order are numbered, but is too scared to tell her lover about that. During a mission she gets badly injured and is unconscious for some time. During her recovery Anakin learns about the information from the medical droid and has mixed reactions (happy that she is safe, but angry that she risked so much). After she wakes up there is an argument, because reader doesn't want to leave the jedi order. Basically angst with fluffy ending. Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

Warnings : Clone wars violence, pregnancy, injuries, uses of Y/N and L/N (im sorry)

Notes : Unless I say other wise, my requests are always open! Thank you for sending this in, I love this idea! Also I’m assuming that her lover is Anakin so yeah. Enjoy!

You slammed the door to your quarters shut behind you. As you sat down on your bed, the words from the medical droid kept echoing through your head. You went in for a check up since you’ve been feeling sick lately and it’s been causing you to lack on your missions. You had to clear the droids memory of your appointment so the order wouldn’t find out, if they did you would be expelled from it.

‘You are pregnant, General L/N.’

You rubbed your face, stressed out of your mind. You looked over to your mirror and lifted your shirt, shifting so you could see your stomach from the side. There was the beginnings of a baby bump already forming since you were a few months into your pregnancy. You quickly put your shirt back down and put your cloak on when someone knocked at your door.

You stood and went over to your door, opening it. Ahsoka stood there, her normal smile on her face. “Hey Ahsoka, what do you need?” You asked.

“Anakin wants you to join him on his mission and sent me to get you. It’s just a patrol mission.” She answered.

“Okay, why isn’t he bringing you?” You replied, stepping out of your room with the door closing behind you. Ahsoka started to lead you to a transport that would take you to Anakin’s ship.

“I have some other things to do at the temple that he doesn’t want me to miss. He’s taking a few squads from the 501st with him since it’s a large planet.” Ahsoka told you, followed by her telling you other mission details.

“Thanks for the information, Ahsoka.” You said once you two reached the transport. She waved goodbye then went on her way. As your transport flew towards Anakin’s command ship, you came to the conclusion that this would distract you from the news you got only minutes earlier. It’s just a planet patrol so no harm would come to you or your baby.

Then your mind wandered again. Anakin was the only person you’ve been with recently, he would have to be the father. How would he react? He would be expelled from the jedi order if they found out you were pregnant. Maybe you could just leave before anyone would notice. You had many friends with connections so they could get help you get a home on Naboo or anywhere that wasn’t Coruscaunt so the jedi order couldn’t sense you on the planet. On the other hand, you didn’t want to leave the order. The jedi raised you, became your home and safety net. They have been there for you and yet you betrayed the code.

You sighed as your transport landed on Anakin’s ship, it’s doors opening so you could exit.

----------

You met with Anakin and Captain Rex on the ship and they briefed you on the patrol as the ship flew through hyperspace. Once you reached the planet, the scanners didn’t pick up anything suspicious. Anakin readied the 501st into patrol squads to get sent down to the planet.

While riding in the ship with Anakin and Rex, you started to get a little bit dizzy and nauseous which is one of the symptoms that caused you to go into the medical center. You closed your eyes tightly so you could try to stop the feeling. “Y/N, you okay?” Anakin asked, noticing your actions.

“Yeah, just a little dizzy.” You answered, smiling at him. Anakin nodded but he was worried.

He turned to the other side of him in order to face Rex. “Keep an eye out for Y/N, I don’t think she’s doing too well.” Anakin whispered.

“Yes sir.” Rex replied. The ship touched the ground and the doors slid open, clones walking out and assembling into pre-chosen groups. You, Anakin and Rex walked out behind them.

It looked like you had landed in a large valley since tall mountains surrounded you. There was a forest around you too, the plants being different vibrant colors. “Y/N, you know your path right?” Anakin asked, snapping you out of your thoughts about the planet.

“Yep, Rex and I will take our squad through the ridge. With other squads around the planet, hopefully this patrol will take no time.” You replied, putting your hands on your hips and smiling up at him once again. Anakin nudged you playfully. You always knew the plan and executed it perfectly, at least according to him. Since he doesn’t always stick to the plan, having you with him balanced everything out. Which was probably why you two had gained feelings for each other.

When Anakin got out of his thoughts, he realized that he was already walking the opposite direction of you, Rex and your squadron with his own squadron.

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“It’s a trap! Head back to the ships!” You yelled when a separatist probe droid set off a bomb. You turn and ran behind your squadron, Rex by your side and droids probably starting to chase you.

“General Skywalker, come in! We’ve be attacked by separatists!” Rex exclaimed into his comms.

“So have we! We’ll meet you at the ships!” Anakin quickly replied from the other end.

You sensed something behind you and turned around just in time to see large tanks rolling closer. The tanks were readying to fire, aiming at you and Rex. You used the force to push Rex away as one tank fired and hit very close to you. The force of the blast sent you flying until you hit a tree. “General!” Rex called as you faded in and out of consciousness.

The captain ran over to you and picked you up, calling for some help. When he noticed the clones were too far ahead to hear him, he started running towards the ships. “General Skywalker, General L/N has been hit and isn’t responding!” Rex nearly yelled into his comms.

Anakin nearly stopped what he was doing when he heard Rex. His patrol squadron was already boarding into transport ships to get back to the command ship. “How far are you from the transports?” Anakin asked, using his lightsaber to deflect blaster shots coming from the droids.

“Nearly there, sir!” Moments after Rex responded, he ran into the clearing. Anakin saw you and he almost froze, only being able to move over to defend Rex and your unconscious body. He did so until he was on the transport with Rex and it was the last one to take off. Luckily, the separatists didn’t follow any of the ships or attack the command ship. Anakin was too worried about you to fight more separatists.

--------

The door to your med bay room slide opened followed by Anakin walking in. The medical droid turned from it’s work on the computer beside you to face Anakin. “How is she?” He asked.

“She is simply unconscious with a few bruises and scratches here and there. She will wake up soon. Her and the baby are safe.”

Anakin’s world stopped. “The....the baby?”

“Yes, she currently is 3 months pregnant.” The droid answered. Anakin quickly erased the droids memory of ever discovering that you were pregnant, like you did earlier that day. He dismissed the droid and sat on the edge of your bed, waiting for you to wake up.

When you did, you blinked your eyes a few times to adjust to the lighting. That’s when you noticed Anakin sitting nearby. “Anakin.” You said, smiling.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You worried he knew. Your smile left your face immediately. “Tell you what?” You asked nervously.

“That you were pregnant?” This time, Anakin turned his head to make eye contact with you. You sat up, trying to avoid his gaze.

“I...,” you sighed, “I don’t know.”

“Do you know what this means? What will happen to you?”

“You think I don’t? I knew since earlier today and-”

“And you went on a mission knowing you were pregnant?!” Anakin was angry.

“I didn’t want anyone to become suspicious! But now you know, so here we are.” You could sense Anakin was frustrated so you stopped talking, letting you both process your thoughts. You looked at the wall beside you while Anakin stared at the floor. It was silent until Anakin spoke up.

“Who’s the father?”

“I assume you.”

“Y/N.....maker, I’m so happy right now but,” he paused to meet your gaze, “we’re gonna be expelled from the order.”

“When my baby bump develops more, I’m leaving then. I’ll leave with no questions asked so you won’t have to.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave.” Anakin put his hand on top of yours.

“I’m sorry Anakin, I don’t want to leave either but this is something I must do.” You spoke softly, wrapping your hand around his. Silence resumed as you looked at your interlocked hands. “How about we don’t focus on what’s going to happen and focus on what’s happening now, hm?” You asked.

Anakin smiled and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “You’re going to make a great mother.” He whispered.

“I’m practically raising Ahsoka already, I’ll be ready for anything.” You joked, earning a laugh from Anakin. You leaned your forehead against his, smiling.

“You’re so smiley today.” He commented.

“I’m just happy, I’m thinking about the pros instead of the cons.”

“I should start doing that.”

“Yeah you should.” You replied. You two allowed silence to take over once again. You and Anakin were in the moment, happy about the unexpected news and what goods thing would come in the future.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #the clone wars x reader #the clone wars x you #star wars x reader #star wars x you #anakin skywalker x jedi!reader #anakin skywalker imagine #the clone wars imagine #star wars imagine #oh my god this idea has me WEAK #i've been rewatching different arcs in the clone wars and anakin is just *chefs kiss*

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dog-teeth · 3 years

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hi... idk if this is stupid but any tips on telling apart gender envy and attraction? i've been questioning for years and it's really throwing me off. i don't wanna transition only to realize i wanted to be with the person instead of being them :((

this ended up being long asf cuz i love to ramble so im gonna put it under the cut

i’ve struggled a lot with that too, i started being attracted to men after transitioning more, instead of just having gender envy towards them, thanks to physical/medical/more intense social transition which made me able to interact with men while not being perceived as a woman. it was all very confusing.

generally, i don’t think pure attraction would make you?? want to transition??? like if you were just attracted to them then you would be attracted to them as your current gender, not want to change your gender to be more like them? i guess maybe that could happen but honestly i don’t rly think cis people usually work like that.

i also think you need to deconstruct your idea of what ‘transition’ means - it’s not like one singular process over a set amount of time that you go through and then suddenly at the end you realize you made a mistake and don’t identify that way. transitioning is an active choice you make every moment of every day, and the vast majority of it is internal + social, not physical, so if you end up changing your mind, you can do it just fine. i strongly doubt you would go through an entire social and medical transition without realizing that you actually just wanted to be with someone. along the way you will be able to understand which parts of gender and transition make you happy, and what feels wrong. you’ll be able to feel out how things like altering your gender presentation with clothes, pronouns, names, etc, feels to you. if it makes you feel more like yourself, you’re probably not just doing it because you’re attracted to someone.

you can (and should) also take your transition as slow as you want, deciding to transition is a big deal but also it doesn’t have any inherent repercussions, from that decision you can choose to do whatever you want with your gender. take it one little step at a time, it’s not a big huge thing that happens all at once, it’s a slow and tedious and active process that will give you plenty of time to figure yourself out along the way.

as always, my blanket advice is that thinking really hard about your gender identity and what you want and how you feel often does not help, what does help is actually experimenting with your identity/presentation/etc, in whatever way you think would be most helpful and doable, even if it’s just by yourself or with a close friend or online etc. it doesn’t have to be drastic or public.

if you’ve been questioning for years, that’s a pretty solid indicator that some part of your identity, gender, sexuality, or presentation, is not currently what will make you happiest & your most genuine self. which part, i can’t tell you, but you can figure out with experimentation.

it also can be both gender envy and attraction. i feel that way about guys sometimes. it doesn’t make either aspect less valid or important, it just means there are traits of that gender/person that i find attractive both in a partner and that i want for myself. now that i’m more comfortable in my body & presentation (shoutout to hrt), the relationship i have with gender-envy-attraction is a little different, it would take a whole essay to explain but basically i just have a type LOL.

i can’t tell if you mean that there’s one specific person who you feel gender envy / attraction towards, or if this is a more general thing for you. if you mean one person, then consider looking for other sources of gender inspiration, like other people you’d want to be like, and see how it feels, and just think about your life and experiences separate from this person.

either way, think about who you would want to be if there were no expectations or context. just if it was you alone being able to choose what gender you were born as, or how you would want to look/be if you could instantly magically make it happen. if it’s something different than how you are now, then that’s significant! for example, i know that if i was the only person on earth and no one would ever see me, i would still want to have a flat chest. and i wouldn’t be able to choose which gender i id want to be born as because i wouldn’t want to be born as either one. dealing inn hypotheticals like this can be frustrating and unhelpful, but it can also help you get to the root of your feelings by removing the practical context of your life.

as always my perspective is that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from experimenting with your gender, and you should go for it, and if you end up realizing that it’s not for you, that’s totally fine and you can go back to being cis! no harm done! but if there’s even a chance that changing something about your gender would make you happier, you should try it out.

#advice #gender stuff #ez answers #Anonymous

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fruityutas · 4 years

Note

as a student in the medical field I find it rare to find such alternative universes 🥺🥺🥺 perhaps you can do it with haechan. Like the reader being a resident (therefore obviously older than him) // “I enjoy your company” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 May I request this or is it too much ❤️

omg im in medical field too!! and ofc it’s not too much! i rlly like this idea there isn’t a whole lot of those aus around :3 i hope you dont mind i made hyuckie a pt!

patient!haechan x resident!reader

not proofread

genre ~ hehe u know it fluff!, nonidol!au

summary ~ a very cute but mischievous patient craves your attention

warnings ~ donghyuck bein a big ol flirt hehe, needles/iv insertion, older reader

as you speed walk down the hall, a nurse catches your attention. “doctor, you’re needed in room 127.”

“alrighty, thank you.” you make your way over to the room. a younger man is lying in bed with a nurse prepping him for an iv. “let’s see this chart, shall we.” you take the chart off the bed and scan over it.

lee donghyuck, 21 years old, dob 20000606, ab blood type, reason for visit: auto vehicle accident, injuries as listed: hairline fracture on the ulna, compound fracture on the radius, multiple superficial scrapes to the arm and face, sprained wrist

“well, it seems like your injuries are minor, at least. you went through quite the beating though. were you the driver or a passenger?” he gives you a wink.

“passenger, of course. i would never drive that stupidly.” you smile and shake your head at his response. you could tell he was going to be a handful.

“well for now we’ll give you 100mg of ibuprofen. if the pain doesn’t let up within an hour, let us know so we can up the dosage.” you turn to the nurse. “how are his vitals?”

“heart rate is 82, oxygen is 98, and blood pressure is 119 over 76.” you hum in response.

“alright, everything is within normal range. are you feeling any pain in other areas?” he thinks for a second before nodding. “oh? could you tell me where the pain is located and rate it on a scale of 1-10.”

he smirks. “my heart, doctor. it hurts because you’re just so beautiful!” you raise your eyebrows at him.

“well im not sure how i can fix that, i apologize. anything else?” he shakes his head this time and you bid him goodbye.

the next few days are filled with more visits to his room and more flirting from him. everytime you brush it off but his smooth words are starting to have an effect on you.

“how old are you, doc?” you roll your eyes but answer the question.

“older than you, hun.” he flashes you a sweet smile.

“not too old for me!” you finish up checking his iv dosage and start to leave the room. “hey wait, don’t you at least think im cute?” you tilt your head at him ad send him a wink.

“that would be unprofessional of me to say, now wouldn’t it? let’s just say you catch my eye.” as you leave, his giggles reach your ears, and you sigh. what a shame he’s my patient, he is really cute.

donghyuck is there for another week until his release day. he realizes this and ups the ante on his charm. everytime you step into his room he mentions you being pretty or how you take care of him so well. you found that you enjoy the comments and his presence.

“how are you feeling today?”

“feeling amazing now that you’re here, doc.” a blush dusts over your cheeks. this boy has you in deep.

“well, your vitals haven’t changed and your arm has started the healing process, so discharge should be tomorrow.”

“awe, does it have to be? im gonna miss you, i enjoy your company.”

“i enjoyed your time here, you made me look forward to my shifts. but yes, it has to be.” he pouts cutely at you.

“maybe i should just break my other arm so i can stay!” you send him an incredulous look.

“please don’t, donghyuck. i would hate to see you hurt again.” his face lit up at your words. “i have to get to another patient so i probably won’t see you off, but don’t hurt yourself ok? i don’t want to see you in this building again.”

“what about outside of it?”

“don’t wait outside the hospital, silly.”

“no i mean can i take you on a date.” you whip your head around. his face is dead serious. you blink once, twice, three times.

“i... if thats... are you being serious?” he nods vigorously.

“of course i am, you’re too good to pass up! you’re the best doctor i’ve had infact. that and being cute.” a soft smile graces your features.

“i’ll have to hold you up to it, but i can’t give you my personal contact until after you’re out. here’s my office number.” you give him the number and bid him goodbye, looking forward to seeing donghyuck again.

#nshitty-frathouse #unfortunatus: paradiso #nct 127 #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #haechan x reader #haechan scenarios #donghyuck scenarios

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animeboysloveyou · 4 years

Note

Might I request something? :3 Last year I had a really bad pulmonary embolism and almost died. I was home alone and called the ambulance at the very last minute. 😂 How would the Founders + Izuna react if this happened to their wife? Like... what happens when she calls them and says: "Hey Honey, I almost died and am now hospitalized!" ? 🙈

asdfghjk WHY DID U WAIT SO LONG THO OH GOD IM SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU T_T Im glad everything went ok but!! aaaa pls look after yourself sweetheart or the founders will have to!!!

Hospitalized S/O

💛 Hashirama 💛

Oh my god did you want to give this boy a heartattack??? if that was the plan CONGRATS he’s gonna join u in hospital

Seriously, though, if you call him and say THAT? He won’t know what to do for a second

And then he runs to you. Hokage duties? If they can’t understand why he’s leaving in this circumstance that’s their problem, not his!

He knows his way around medicine a bit and he’ll feel SO terrible for not noticing sooner. Once he arrives at your bed, he’ll try to put on his serious voice to scold you for not speaking up sooner but honestly he can’t keep it up. He’s so shaken.

Fusses over you. He knows you need some peace and quiet but how is he supposed NOT to fuss over you??? Knowing he could’ve lost you is no joke!

“Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you notice? Are you alright? Do you need me to stay home more? Can I get you something? How are you feeling??” hashirama shut up challenge: failed

The more he sees how close it was for you, the more quiet he’ll be. He’s honestly so terrified of losing you, and there’s SO much guilt in him for leaving you alone. So once you feel a little better, he’ll have calmed down enough to have a serious but very emotional and kind talk with you about how you should ALWAYS tell him when something’s wrong with you. Please. He needs to know in order to help you.

If you didn’t even notice until it was nearly too late, he’ll skip all that and go straight to doting on you. He’ll do anything for you, and might even insist on you staying in bed even when you’re already feeling fine again.

💛 Tobirama 💛

Honestly, those words make him freeze on the spot for a moment. His brain doesn’t wanna process that. You? Nearly dying? While apparently safe and sound in the village? Uh-uh.

“What?!”

You won’t have to tell him where you are, this boy can sense you anywhere in the village. He’s learned to pick up the faintest traces of you - just in case. Just in case something like this happens.

Honestly he probably doesn’t even wait for you to explain yourself he’s running/teleporting to your side asap no questions asked. He needs to see you’re okay. He’s panicking.

Like, he knows they wouldn’t let you call him if you were still at the verge of death but asdfghjkl nothing makes this man’s brain stop working like knowing his spouse is in danger.

If you ignored the signs oh man he’ll be so mad. Like, he probably would’ve ignored the signs himself too, but it wasn’t him, it was you and that’s different. But one sad look from you and he’ll literally bite his lip to shut himself up. Decides to give you your verbal lesson once you’re out of the hospital.

If you didn’t realize how bad things were, he’ll still be grumpy, but more so because that makes it even more his fault for not being by your side. SURELY he would’ve noticed earlier, right?

He fusses over you in his own way. There’s no “the medicine is gross i don’t want it” with him, you’ll take that medicine and if it’s the last thing he does. He’ll take time off work for as long as he possibly can (and maybe a liiiittle bit longer) to make sure you’re really alright

Gets irrationally angry at any medical staff if your situation worsens and they can’t explain why. Threatens to bring his brother over if they don’t figure it out real quick.

Generally pretty unpleasant to be around but it’s just because fuck you scared the hell out of him. The thought that he could’ve lost you during a normal day at work? It fucks him up pretty bad. You’re the sick one but it’s good if you take the time to comfort this boy bc honestly he needs it.

💛 Madara 💛

Goes through the five stages of grief right then and there.

Doesn’t get angry or anything, just very serious. Very quiet. He drops what he’s doing and hurries to your side right away. Nobody’s gonna tell him no.

Honestly his mind is fucking racing and he’s so overwhelmed by what the hell’s going on so he tries to stay super serious and quiet and calm because he doesn’t wanna freak out. He doesn’t wanna freak you out.

Has no idea about medicine but insists they explain everything to him anyway. He needs to know what went wrong and if it could happen again, what he can do to help.

Honestly probably figures out some sharingan trick to check your vitals idk how but he works on it until he’s got SOMETHING to give him some kind of reassurance.

Once he finally sits down next to you, he tries to calm you down, because he remembers sitting at the bedside of wounded or dying soldiers and how panic gripped them, so. Even though you’re out of the woods already, he wants you to be calm and to feel looked after.

Also questions you, personally, about what happened. How you felt, how it went down, which signs you noticed, etc. You can probably feel his hand shaking a bit and the frown on his face but he tries to be calm around you, still.

Takes you home as soon as possible, though, because he just feels like you’ll recover there better. He’s got doctors in his clan, and being home helps.

Makes sure everyone dotes on you and brings you what you need. He’s got a lot of duties and can’t slack off, so whenever he really has to leave, he makes sure there’s lots of people you trust around to look after you.

💛 Izuna 💛

He’s in such a shock, he’ll probably stay on the phone with you wayyy too long just discussing what went wrong. Like shut UP izuna and go OVER there!!

He’s mad but not at you. He’s just generally in a terrible mood when he arrives because? How couldn’t he be? But then he sees you, giving him a weak / hesitant smile and you’ll see true worry in his eyes for the first time. Like, this whole time he was like “oh this girl is gonna GET it how DARE she not take care of herself????” but then he sees how hurt / weak you are and he’s ok oh. OH. fuck. That was a close call. He can’t handle that.

Doesn’t care at all what the medical staff has to tell him, he wants to hear everything from you. Definitely wants to be alone with you too, because he’s feeling so weak and vulnerable he doesn’t want anyone to see him like this except for you (and even then he’s got a bit of a difficult time showing it)

ALSO doesn’t really believe you when you say you’re doing better. You thought you were fine before and you nearly died, so ??? what if you’re still in danger??

Honestly doesn’t talk a lot this whole time. he knows he should comfort you but he’s struggling. you’ll probably have to comfort him for a while asdfghhjkl

But he also remembers being wounded and far closer to death than anyone wanted to admit, and he remembers that fear that gripped him. So he understands how you felt and doesn’t snap at you for “hiding your pain” but words of comfort don’t come easily to him

It’ll be easier once you’re released from the hospital. He’ll feel more comfortable at home, and will probably be more confident that you’re really okay. Will stay by your side any chance he gets and gets super snappy with Madara if he tries to make him work. He just. Wants to hold you for a while. Helps him process things ;W;

EVENTUALLY, when you’ve recovered and this moment is just a bad memory, he might tease you a bit about it, depending on how you’re feeling about the whole situation. if you can laugh about it, oh boy, he’ll give you so much shit - but if it’s something that still scares you, he’ll know to shut his fat mouth

#naruto imagine #hashirama x reader #tobirama x reader #madara x reader #izuna x reader #tell me if i need to tag this a certain way!#spikey-imagines

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honeydots · 4 years

Note

127 with shuake would be good.

"My hands are not clean, and maybe they never will be, but they can still carry you home when you're ready to sleep."

once again. didnt forget abt these. im working thru em.

Summary: Goro wakes up one day in a hospital bed with only a bullet wound to keep him company, and not a single memory of who he used to be.

(ao3 link)

He was almost certain the last few weeks had been a dream.

Or maybe, several long and white coated dreams. The kinds with bright lights at an arm's length, and ill-fitting clothes, and men coming in waves carrying their clipboards as flags. With deep voices all at once whispering, echoing, “what is your name?”

Maybe he was in a hospital.

His first day of full consciousness was slow and lonely. His second day too, time spent wiggling his toes and counting ceiling spots. Day three he asked for a glass of water and scared a nurse out of her skin, and his week was kickstarted. Which only really meant an actual doctor came in and declared retrograde amnesia the only explanation for his condition.

His “condition” was quite the word to use. Which condition? They could play bingo. Was it his memory loss (obvious, weak narrative), or could it have been the state of comatose he’d been in (intriguing), or even the bullet wound (now here was a mystery, what a plotline) he’d heard remarkably little about? Amnesia, the fickle bastard, was the type to bring one answer to dinner, and disappear by morning.

But what did he know?

Well, he knew that this was a pretty shitty hospital. As far as how he assumed they should be managed, this one was on a low tier. And according to the nurse, as was their police station. Incompetent, and uncaring of his case, which had apparently been made.

It’d been a week now. He could get up. Limited, with his IV, but he could. The nurse said later that maybe the police would listen to him now, since he was conscious, basically up and kicking. ‘Listen to him now,’ was also an interesting phrase, because he hadn’t been speaking in the first place.

He wasn’t injured. His vitals were fine, the nurses had told him, and commented he was taking up an unnecessary bed. Not that he could actually make any kind of sound argument, which was frustrating enough on its own, but this didn’t seem like proper procedure.

He was, once again, very alone in his room. He thought about going to the police station. Incompetent as they may be, there would be no answers here. There was no one here to help him; some healthy boy in a hospital bed.

He got up. His IV was stuck in poorly, the tape just barely holding on. They’d disconnected him from all sorts of machines. Nothing was roping him down except for saline solution and his own two feet.

And, he was already standing.

It wasn’t hard to pull out.

His hospital gown was tied all the way down, falling just past his knees. He had odd socks on, their texture was weird, and they were several sizes too big. They were thick and patterned, maybe slip proof? But shoeless as he was, they would do.

The hallway was very empty. He was on the ground floor, but he wasn’t sure there were other stories. Maybe one, or a basement. It didn’t matter much. There just wasn’t anyone around. His concern was in that he didn’t know how long their absence would last.

There was a glass door at the end of the hallway.

To the police he’d go. A medical bill dodging amnesiac would probably get him some attention. Enough to get a name?

The door was not locked. That was probably good, for a hospital, and not a security breach, which is where his mind had initially gone.

Doors are meant to be opened, he thought. There really isn’t anything wrong with that.

It was just a little bright outside. The sun was up but not too far. He was in the parking lot, and it was almost entirely devoid of cars. Small, small hospital.

He didn’t exactly have a map, and no nurse was around to give him any condescending directions. He’d might as well go forward, then. He started walking, and thought to himself how odd his feet felt on the concrete.

No one was out. He hesitated to call it deserted, just maybe a bit early. He kept walking, nerves high, still worried he might get mauled by a stray doctor.

It seemed like this was a very small town, going by his surroundings. Lots of trees, and cracked roads, and old buildings. He didn’t think much of taking it all in. He’d have time for sightseeing when he remembered his initials.

A bit farther ahead was a woman, leaning on a car parked on the side of the road. She was glaring down at her phone. She looked— maybe irritated? Or tired. He wondered if he could ask her for directions. An aimless stroll through town wouldn’t take him to where he was going, after all.

“Excuse me,” he called, “Ma’am? Do you know the way to the police station?” He approached her with just enough caution to call it looking out for himself, ignoring the sorry state he was already in.

She glanced up from her phone. Her hair was short, and dark, and it bobbed around her face. She registered him for a moment, and her eyes went big.

“Holy shit.”

He knew enough to know that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. “I need to go to the police, please.”

The woman kept staring at him. “You—” she stuttered, “are you Goro Akechi? You are, aren’t you?”

This encounter was already going awry. Did she know him? “Do you know me?”

“Uh…I mean, no, we’ve never met.” She pushed herself off her car, and slowly put her phone back into her pocket.

That wasn’t really what he meant. He needed to persist, here. This could be a lucky hit. “No I— Do you know who I am?”

Blatant confusion spread across her face. “Uh… Are you not Goro Akechi?”

“I don’t know,” he answered.

She stared at him again, almost suspicious. Then she looked him up and down.

“Are you… coming from the hospital?”

“Yes.” He watched her mouth open just a bit in disbelief. He wondered how this woman knew him. If explaining would get more information out of her, then he’d do it. Privacy only existed when you had something to protect, after all. “I’ve been given an amnesiac diagnosis, you see. I’m going to the police station to see if I can find any sort of lead on myself.”

She looked shocked. “Amnesia? And you’re going to the cops?” She blinked, and suddenly looked very serious. She grabbed one of his shoulders. “Wait. That’s bad news. Don’t go to the police.”

He (Goro?) hadn’t expected to hear that.“What? And why shouldn’t I?”

“You… holy shit, kid, do you actually have amnesia?” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Listen you need to— oh good god, this is gonna sound like I’m trying to kidnap you— I definitely know who you are. I can tell you but we shouldn’t… here. If someone finds you… ” She exhaled hard, and looked him dead on. It made Goro freeze. “Fuck, okay. The gist of it is— you’re in more danger than you realize. Like, a lot more. Will you come talk with me in my car?”

Alright. So, a lot to process, and a lot he didn’t know how to. He didn’t even know if he should process it, or if that was the kind of story that should be immediately disregarded. Someone telling you to not go to the police and please get in their car seemed like a textbook stranger-danger red flag. There had been something uneasy about her tone, though. Like genuine concern— not that such a thing couldn’t be perfected and acted, however.

But she’d given him a name. And it felt almost tangible, the more he thought about it. Less bendable and more sturdy. It was very easy to attach to himself. And it was a lead, wasn’t it?

“Hey, did you get discharged, or are you just wandering around? Cause they’re gonna be looking for you if they didn’t let you out,” said the woman, jump starting Goro (almost certainly, Goro) out of his head. “And kid, I cannot just let you turn yourself in to the cops.”

‘Turn myself in,’ he thought to himself. Such particular wording. It made his stomach drop. This woman knew more than him, clearly. And really, for fucks sake, if he died, he died. Obviously he hadn’t left enough of a mark on anyone to warrant not a single visitor during a five year coma. According to the nurses, it was more evident that he’d simply been dumped in town— like someone had already been trying to get rid of him.

Well, whoever they were, they’d forgotten to bury his bones.

He straightened himself up. “Okay.”

She looked surprised, at first. She swallowed around it. “...Yep, okay then. Hop in before you change your mind.” She popped open her car door, and Goro circled around the side and followed suit.

Her car was messy. It was filled with food wrappers and empty bottles, but papers and notebooks were scattered around, too. So she kept busy, it seemed. He decided he’d consider this a point in the not-about-to-murder-you direction. Too much here that could be used as evidence against her. Too personalized. He was almost envious.

She adjusted her seat forwards and turned on the ignition. She was a bit jittery, Goro noticed, as she scratched the back of her head vigorously.

“So, I’m gonna drive us somewhere that isn’t here but I can talk and drive so, just— like, just a second, okay?”

He nodded. She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel. “...Goddamn,” she muttered, and then pressed down on the gas, turning her car onto the barren road.

She kept her eyes forward, but kept true to her promise of talking. She sighed. “Right. So, uh, to start… Okay, first, my name’s Ichiko Ohya, I’m a journalist. Get that cleared away. Next comes you which is a bit more complicated, but you probably wanna know why we’re dodging cops so I’ll start there. Or, as close to there as I can.”

He would take anything he could get from her, actually. The cops situation was undeniably concerning, but right now he was essentially a sentient empty shell, absorbing everything for the first time. A kid in a metaphorical candy store, but the store was a dodgy reporter who still might be kidnapping him and just stalling. He’d call himself the kid, but it dawned on him he didn’t even know how old he was. Fantastic. More things the hospital staff hadn’t bothered to tell him.

“Your name’s Goro Akechi. I told you that already but, that’s you. At least I’m like, ninety percent sure.” She spared him a glance. “You do look a bit different but all in all I’m— I’m pretty sure. Just the hair and the stubble, you know.”

Goro hadn’t exactly looked in a mirror recently, so no, he didn’t know. He knew he had long hair— certainly longer than Ohya’s. He rubbed his jaw and felt the rough and gritty bristles that had prickled onto him. It bothered him that he didn’t know. It bothered him that he didn’t know what he looked like.

Ohya continued, not letting him dwell for long. “You’re also sort of famous. Well, you were, and it was mainly with teenagers and moms in the city, but you were a popular detective. So, that’s how I know you. And I swear I’m getting to the running from cops part, but you have to know this first first. Oh, shit, it’s right here.” She took a sharp turn into a grocery store, and Goro had to grip the side to keep steady in his seat.

She didn’t act very sheepish about it. “Sorry, for that. We’re gonna talk in here.”

She paused her explanation to pull into a spot, which Goro felt a little thankful for because, under his circumstances, that felt like a lot of information to take in. He was well known, but not well known enough that anyone out here knew him. ‘Famous detective’ raised some weird alarms in his head, a position absurd enough that it might be true. It felt unfortunately right, like a disappointing truth. It was different from his name, more unwelcome. But it didn’t click either. Nothing had been clicking at all.

There was a pit growing in his stomach, like something was in there, chewing down on his insides. But he’d found he didn’t care for ignorance, so he would put up with it for as long as it took.

Ohya turned her car off, pushed her seat away from the wheel, and got herself comfortable. She faced him, nonchalant but sincere. “So this is where the really juicy stuff comes in, alright? So like, listen up now, if you weren’t.” There was something very serious about her eyes.

As if he’d have let any of her explanation slip under his radar. “I’m listening.”

That was a good enough answer for her, it seemed.

“I’m trying to think of the best way to explain this, honestly,” she started, thumbing the back of her hand. “You… okay, there was this guy. He was a really big politician that you were involved with, and it’s kind of a gray area as far as what you were doing for him, but you and him worked together. Kind of. He was a really shitty guy.”

She looked like she was considering her words. She turned her focus out the windshield for a moment, and sighed again. “He basically ended up confessing because this group— well, actually, they don’t matter right now. He confessed, and he talked about you. For some of it. It was a long fucking confession. But half of what he said wasn’t even coherent. He was talking about some crazy shit and no one knows what he meant by it. You were part of that whole section.” She paused again, thinking. Goro let the silence sit. He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion until he’d heard her out. Which was proving difficult, truthfully, because this all left a sour taste in his mouth, one that had almost certainly been there before.

“They wanted to take you in for questioning, but you disappeared. And, to add fuel to the fire, they were having a hard time getting any actual concrete evidence,” she began. “Can’t make an arrest based on a confession alone. He did other things, too, and that's what he ended up being indicted for, but there's still that problem. This whole chunk of confession is still there that technically lines up with his timeline of events, but there’s no way to prove it. That’s why they want you,” Ohya’s expression darkened. “At least, publicly, that’s why they want you.”

She readjusted in her seat again. She faced him fully. “This guy— Shido’s his name— he’s got goons. Not to mention, he had complete control over the police, and there are other higher up’s who worked with him. Some of those guys got busted with Shido’s confession, but there’s a few where there just isn’t enough evidence to put ‘em away. These are the ones who you need to watch out for.” She took a deep breath, not finished.

“I’m gonna be frank with you,” she continued. “They want you dead. They don’t want a single loose end, and you’re still dangling. The police are on their side. Are you understanding me?”

Goro tried to let the words sink in. That was more than a lot to think about. The creature in his stomach was grinning now, he could tell. But, this was also no time to get overwhelmed. If her words were true— which, the overwrought familiarity of her explanation compelled him to trust them— he needed to keep his head above the water.

“So these— subordinates. You’re saying they’re after my life? They can’t be actively hunting me down, if they have the influence you’re implying, or I’d have been found by now,” Goro said, deciding to ignore the fear creeping up his spine. “So then, what’s my public status? How unlikely was it that I was the egoless comatose patient they were searching for?”

“Uh…” said Ohya, seeming like she was the stunned one. “Well, you’re right, they don’t really have a manhunt right now. I guess I don’t need to worry about beating around the bush here— you’re presumed dead.”

Interesting. “That doesn’t surprise me,” he said, furrowing his brow. “But, obviously, a body was never found. They’re probably prioritizing morgues then, not hospitals. That does explain why I wasn’t discovered after all this time.” Though, if they’re smart, they’d also keep an eye on cases like his. They probably were, in fact. He’d gotten lucky that the police here were clueless.

Ohya gave him a very funny look. “You know, it’s almost creepy how well you’re taking this. You were in a coma this whole time?” She shook her head. “I’d have thought you’d be more out of it, honestly.”

“Is this not what you’d consider a wake-up call? I’ve been ‘out of it’ for a week. It’s common sense that I’d react like this,” he told her. Just going outside had cleared his head. He had a feeling hospitals had never been a fitting place for him. “Yes, I was in a coma,” he added, as an afterthought. “They said I’d been shot.”

Just as the words left his mouth, he realized the implications that had.

Ohya noticed just as fast. “You said shot?”

They’d certainly both had the same assumption— maybe an attempt had already been made after his life.

But there was something that felt wrong about that scenario, too. “I’m not… entirely sure it’s what you think it is,“ he replied. Maybe wrong wasn’t the correct word but, it wasn’t completely right either. “There’s no benefit to not making my body public. And, if they’re really after me, it seems messy, to say the least, that they didn’t finish the job properly.” He tried to speak confidently. The effort was familiar, too. Part of him wondered when he’d get the chance to do some self-analysis and tear himself apart.

Ohya caught on very quick, rolling with every punch Goro gave. “Christ, kid. What kind of shady shit were you into? So we’re thinking you’ve got another group after you?”

“I don’t know.”

He really didn’t. There were missing pieces, but that was evident. He had no end of missing pieces. If he was supposed to be some detective, then maybe he should get on with acting like it, and figure out whatever the hell this was.

Whatever business he’d wrapped himself into.

Ohya, again, spoke too quickly for Goro to finish digging through his own head.

“Maaan, I’ve really got myself into something haven’t I?” She rubbed her eyes, like she was already exhausted. “Look, I’m a busy woman. Don’t expect much out of me, but apparently I’ve got a bad habit of adopting puppies. So I’ll see if I can at least point you in the right direction, okay?”

He didn’t have much of another choice, other than to let himself be killed. He nodded again, not sure whether to call himself pleased or solemn.

She buzzed her lips and looked at him, obviously thinking. Then she opened her car door. “Well, okay. First things first, you gotta get some clothes, ‘cause you can’t go walking around like that. God, you don’t even have shoes…” She got out and stretched, and then turned back to him for one last comment. “Don’t expect much, okay? I’m not made of money. Don’t you dare go anywhere, either.”

She slammed the door shut and started walking into the store.

Goro was glad for the moment of peace. He let his jaw relax, closing his eyes. He hated how familiar the stress felt, and how desperate he was to welcome the feeling. A life or death promise was about as thrilling as one day should get.

Getting any memory back was his top priority. But he didn’t have an inkling of where to start. He didn’t have a phone, or a computer, and certainly not a home. He guessed he could use a public computer at a library, but just searching himself might raise more questions than answers. They’d be important questions, he was sure, but he wondered about the bias, the assumptions, the fact that it’d be an outside perspective looking in. He didn’t know how delicately he should go about regaining his memories.

Not to mention, he had only the word of a stranger and a low feeling in his stomach confirming he was even Goro Akechi. And now, with the reputation he’d had, if he even wanted to be him was questionable. Memories of such a life seemed… unpleasurable, at best, but he hadn’t set himself up to be able to just start over. Remembering his past was his best chance at plain old survival.

He wanted to have some kind of plan before Ohya came back, but he was drawing blanks. What he really needed was someone who knew him personally. Beyond media attention, if there was a single poor soul around who’d actually known him. He found himself doubting such an existence, past anyone who was out for his head.

He heard the car doors unlock, and he opened his eyes. Ohya was walking back with two bags, and she was on her phone again, barely looking where she was going. Well, there goes him having a plan. Bouncing ideas back and forth was the last thing he wanted to do. It was time wasted and he knew he would get frustrated, but his choices were limited. At least Ohya seemed pretty knowledgeable. It was possible she knew more than she was letting on, too.

She opened up the car door and tossed the bags onto his lap. “Hey,” she began, setting herself back into place, “I got your stuff but— I remembered something in there that might be a good starting place for you, if I can run that by ya.”

Or, of course, he could hear Ohya out and avoid idea bouncing all together. Something solid had come by much quicker than he thought.

*****

Ohya’s plan wasn’t bad at all.

She’d told him she had a contact from a few years ago, who was in charge of a bundle of self storage units. Apparently a certain “Goro Akechi” had registered himself one a couple months or so after Goro’s public disappearance. They’d told her once they noticed the name, but Ohya hadn’t taken up the lead at the time. When Goro asked why they’d even told her that, she left it at “no reason important,” and kept the topic adamantly off the table. Goro would push the envelope if it weren’t for the fact that his life (a life he didn’t even know he had, for the record, and one that still bothered him) was on the line.

If this unit did belong to him, there could be a very solid lead on himself in there, and leads on his acquaintances, too. Ohya didn’t know if the garage still existed, though. So she said she’d give them a call and see if they could figure something out.

Which is what led to Goro sitting in a barber’s chair. After he’d gotten dressed (an ensemble of sweats, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes) Ohya had commented that he looked like he belonged in a homeless shelter, and “really needed a haircut.”

She said something about how he’d always kept himself looking clean, and Goro believed it. He was already feeling discomfited the way he was. So unkempt and basically filthy. So, she decided that while she was getting her contact all in order, she’d pay for him getting a trim and a shave.

She was helping him more than he’d expected her to, in ways he didn’t really expect. But he’d take what he could get. He’d hardly had a reason to say no.

He sat waiting in front of a mirror. He hadn’t gotten a good look at himself until now, but god, she was right, he looked pretty fucking bad.

The first thought that came to him was sickly. Eyes sunken in, deep bags under his eyes. You wouldn’t expect him to have just been in a permanent state of slumber for the past five years. Or maybe the correct assumption would be, a coma hadn’t been enough sleep for him.

His hair was just below his shoulders, and he had a very pitiful looking beard. He didn’t recognize himself. He didn’t think that would change much after his haircut, but it made him itch. It was a face that didn’t feel like his. He wanted to rip it off and replace it with a new one, one he knew better.

Maybe he’d never liked looking at his reflection.

Ohya had spoken to the barber for him. The one he got either wasn’t the talkative type, or really got his vibe of not wanting to speak to anyone. She went to work in silence, washing his hair with fruity shampoo and dressing him in a long black apron. That was all fine, albeit uncomfortable, but once she started cutting, Goro found he couldn't watch. The snips were loud, and definite, and it left his chest feeling tight. He couldn’t do anything but let his thoughts run blank.

He wondered if that was hair he’d had before his incident, now falling away. He’d have the same eyes, and organs, and teeth, too. But he felt all wrong in this body. Like it had gone on without him.

He was thankful when she moved to his beard. Just for a moment, though, because having someone so close to his face made him want to retreat as far back into himself as possible. A blade so close to his throat. He wondered how hard of a push it would take to make a cut. He wondered how deeply he’d have to go to make it bleed.

Maybe he’d always hated barbers, too.

When she’d announced she was finished, and Goro forced himself to look back in the mirror, it actually took him aback. It had taken years off him. She’d styled his bangs, and left no hair on his chin, but most importantly, it was clean. Soft looking. Pleasant.

It was almost enough to distract him from the discolored scar plastered on his forehead.

He stared for probably too long. His disheveled bangs had kept it clearly out of view on his first glance, but now that he was fresh and groomed, it pushed its way into the limelight. It was reddish, and almost shiny, and painstakingly circular.

He could feel dread bubbling up. He tore himself away from the mirror, and found an instant sense of relief when he wasn’t staring anymore.

Reflections and barbers. More to read into later, he supposed. He was learning he had been quite the hassle. What an annoyance.

Ohya met him at the entrance. Pure amusement was all over her face. “Shorter than I expected, but you’re looking pretty smart like that.” Her eyes went to his scar, but she made no comment on it. She frowned, but that was all.

Goro didn’t mind her reluctance on the topic. He raised his eyebrows, and spoke with the silent mutual understanding of “that is one gnarly goddamn scar” between them. “Ah, and I’m sure the sweatpants add to the look.”

“Watch it,” she snapped back, sliding into her usual demeanor. “Not like I could get you Levi’s, kid.”

She paid for his haircut, and out of the shop they went. They walked to the car in anticipating silence. She had her phone out again, texting someone now. Goro didn’t want to get his hopes up. Texting could mean anything, or nothing, or half of one or the other.

She pushed her seat back getting into the car, and pulled one leg up with her. Goro waited for her to speak, keeping himself tense. He really wouldn’t be able to loosen up if he tried, like a wound up doll who’d gotten stuck.

Ohya broke the quiet. “It’s still there.”

Goro sucked in, but didn’t let himself relax. Nothing ended there. It was one check off a list, but not all of them.

“And can we go in?”

Ohya blew air out of her mouth. “Well, she said she wants to make sure it's you, because there's only so many privacy laws she wants to break.” She shrugged at him. “But honestly, looking at you now, there's not a doubt in my mind you’re Goro Akechi. So, you can chill about it.”

He leaned back into his seat. The tensity had not left him. Something was making him lucky today, and he hated it. He would feel much more comfortable in the mitts of misfortune. But he couldn’t help feeling giddy, too. Like something was rubbing circles into his back, easing, but not erasing, bits and pieces of his concerns. It was something to focus on, and a goal to achieve. Above all, that relief made him feel pathetic.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to go today or not, but you look more thrilled than I think I’ve ever seen you, so I’m just gonna take that as a yes.”

He hated the way she worded that. He frowned. “Only if you’re as concerned about my identity as you seemed to be earlier. You’re welcome to take your time, I’m surely not going anywhere.”

“You’re snarky! I never realized you had an attitude,” Ohya laughed.

She got the car going, and they were on their way to the unit. Apparently it was quite a ways, and Ohya advised him he’d better buckle in for a long one.

He could feel his eyelids getting heavy. He had things he wanted to think about, and questions he wanted to ask. Working up a tolerance to being active was not something that could be done in a day, but fuck if he wouldn’t try anyway.

But, despite how he tried to fight it, Goro fell asleep.

*****

He woke up when they were about ten minutes from the units. Ohya commented she’d thought it was a little funny that he’d been so exhausted doing just about nothing all day, but admitted too that his body was probably pretty weak, and he really should take it easy. As easy as he could, at least.

They were both quiet for the remainder of the drive. The sun was getting low now. They were passing by suburbs between grassy fields, driving past exit by exit. He had no idea how long they’d been going for. Ohya had called herself busy, and Goro believed it, so her continual help felt unusual. People weren’t just like this, he was almost sure.

She also knew things that felt… almost inappropriately relevant to him. The topic of the unit still tingled in the back of his mind. Why had they called her about his storage? And for that matter, why had she even known so much about him? The information she had felt intimate— like the results of a deep investigation. Had this all been yielded from that politician?

But Ohya had a distinct air of privacy. There could’ve been something personal about her aid, but Goro figured that she wouldn’t crack easily. It might be better to leave it— personal matters tended to yield lasting effects, after all. At least, he assumed so. He really wasn’t sure if that was as big of a plus as it appeared on the surface, though.

When the centre came into view, Goro let those thoughts ease into the back of his mind. He could focus on Ohya’s MO later. This was leaps and bounds more important to him; if anything was going to last, it was this. He could play detective, just like he was supposed to, and maybe come across some special clue. Perhaps he could test out his muscle memory and flex whatever skills he presumed he’d had.

They arrived, and it looked extremely closed. Like the only customers they’d been expecting were ghosts. The lights in the windows were off, and the gate guarding the units was shut tight. It wasn’t encouraging.

Ohya read his expression pretty clearly. She bumped his shoulder with her fist. “She knows we’re coming, my contact’s still here. The front just closes at 6:00. I’ll deal with it, so just stay put for now.”

And just as she said, after she hopped out of her car and approached the office, the door swiftly opened and a woman joined Ohya outside. The two of them seemed friendly. Goro watched as they talked, noting quizzically to himself that Ohya was someone who talked with her hands.

Ohya gestured to her car and they both looked over to Goro. He watched them walk over, and obeyed smartly when Ohya signaled him to roll down his window.

The woman peeked her head around to look at him, her eyebrows arched high. “Wow,” she said, completely staring now. “I mean, he looks like him, that’s for sure.”

Ohya grinned. “Sure does. That enough for you to let us in?” She didn’t really say it as a request, more like an expectation. Goro appreciated the tone.

She fiddled with her bottom lip. “Hmm. You said amnesia? He got any doctor's notes about that?” She asked, giving cue to Ohya’s sour expression.

“You didn’t say a word about notes

on the phone, you know.”

The contact clicked her tongue, and looked back to Goro. She bit the inside of her cheek, and sighed. “Just cause it’s you, Ohya, I’ll take that nasty scar on his forehead as my confirmation.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Come with me inside, I’ll get his key.”

Ohya made a haughty noise of achievement, and followed the woman back in. Goro rolled up the window again.

They were taking a little while. He rubbed at his scar absentmindedly. So obviously a bullet wound, maybe that had been the real reason his barber hadn’t made much conversation. Whoever tried to kill him had shot just where it counted. You don’t fire a warning shot into a head. He wondered if he’d deserved it, and doubted he didn’t.

Goro removed his hand when Ohya reemerged from the building, and she was looking confident. She slid back into her car and jingled the key to his unit victoriously. “Easy peasy. She’s gonna open the gate for us in a second. Your unit number is 508.”

They waited for a little while, nerves ever growing, until the automatic gates opened on their own, groaning and creaking until fully extended. Ohya started her car and drove in, squinting at the unit numbers in the low light.

Rows upon rows of garages awaited them. This must’ve been a pretty large lot, by the looks of things. The dirt road was the only uneven piece of scenery, the repetition was endless. He kept a watchful eye on the unit numbers, as well, skipping between the evens and the odds.

After a few right turns, and one very tight u-turn, they were there. 508 stood wedged between its neighbors, almost at the end of the row, but not quite. Not a thing stood out about it. It was just as gray and worn and untouched as the rest of the facility. Not even the dirt was remarkable. It reminded him of the hospital.

Ohya held the key out to Goro.

“I’m assuming you want this to be a ‘just you’ kinda thing?”

The gesture was something he should’ve expected, but didn’t. It made him hesitate for a moment.

He took the key. “I appreciate it,” he said.

“No sweat.”

He got out of her car, and she drove off to the end of the row. She stayed parked within general sight of the unit. It was essentially pseudo privacy, but neither of them knew how long he’d be in there, and who knows what this could trigger. Ohya also didn’t seem like she knew a thing about amnesia. He wouldn’t look to her for comfort of any sort, but there was reassurance in her being a safe figure.

He took a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. This was his step one. He’d gotten himself into some deep shit, his past self hadn’t seemed to have a shred of self preservation in mind. Had he not encountered Ohya, he could’ve been dead by the hands of the crooks that call themselves the police by now. He had a lot more steps to cover, and each one would be riskier than the next. He was much more on his own than he realistically should’ve been. Most people had friends, as far as he knew. But this was seemingly his own fault. He wanted to know why exactly it was his fault.

One more deep breath.

He inserted the key into the lock, and grabbed the handle of the metal shutter. He pushed up, and with a squeak of rust and a bang of metal, he opened up his door to more dangerous times.

And it was nearly empty.

It was barren concrete. Newly disturbed dust was floating about. It was eerily quiet, and the stale air made his throat itch. Cobwebs stuck in the corners, barely visible in the low light of the setting sun. Though he wouldn’t call it underwhelming.

In the center of the floor was a cardboard box. About medium sized, without a lid. It matched well with the rest of the room, lined with dust and unaltered. He kneeled in front of it.

It was its contents that felt much more exciting. There were papers, lots of them. Thick manila envelopes full of information for him to flip through. He scooted back towards the entrance and pulled the box along with, trying to get the last of the light funneling in to help him read.

It was heavier than he expected, and he didn’t know how much to attribute that to his current lack of strength. He took out the first envelope and it, despite the dust, was clear and candid. When he flipped it around, he noticed with eagerness that there was writing on the front. He tried to make it out as clearly as he could, and in careful handwriting, it read: “05/21/2020— Case No. 1471”

It was a case file. He pulled out another envelope, and it was similarly marked. His interest was surely piqued. There must’ve been some sort of relevance to these, if they were going to be so pointedly left here. He pulled out a third, and then a fourth, and from the weight he’d expected many more. But, the pile ended there. Instead, what filled the rest of the box was another, smaller, wooden one.

He took it out delicately, gripping it securely around the sides to ensure he didn’t drop it. This seemed much more… personal. Shiny cherry wood, latched but not locked, just small enough to sit on his lap firmly. A thought that couldn’t help but be excited came to mind.

This could’ve belonged to me.

He wasted no time. He undid the latch, and it gave a satisfying click. The hinges creaked just barely as his clammy hands lifted the lid, and pulled all the way back, until it rested hanging by itself.

Inside sat more papers. Some were crisper than others, some had obviously been crumpled and then flattened out again. But there was consistency in each of them being folded neatly in half, stacked neatly on top of each other.

He picked up the one from the beginning of the pile, unfolded it, and was surprised to find it had hardly been written on; a simple “To you,” at the top. This was a candidate that had been clearly wadded up and discarded. He set it down carefully, and picked up the next.

This one hadn’t been written on much, either. It said even less, just “Hello.”

He picked up another, and another. It was all soft stationary, each topped with slightly different wordings, and some decorated with a couple lines, even. But they were all just about the same, a simple greeting, and then resigning.

They were letters. Or rather— drafts for one. So he’d learned today that he was indecisive, maybe a bit quick tempered, but potentially also at least organized. He assumed the existence of these drafts meant he’d never gotten around to sending his letter, either. And perhaps he’d never get such a chance, if this visit didn’t convince any muggy memories to creep out of their caves.

As he pulled out drafts and read his pathetic one-liners, he came across a page that was different. There was actually a fair amount of content on it, over a paragraph's worth. It had obviously also been cast aside, but even a spare scrap could be useful to him, in this state. He used the last of the remaining light to read it.

“To whom it may concern,

I would like to skip the inherent shamefulness of writing a letter to you, of all things, in my introduction, and I will title this ambiguously under the assumption that if you believe this does truly not concern you, that you will save me the mortification of reading through it anyways.

I won’t formally phrase this as a farewell, but you should take it as one.

Our unknowns are too great to write, and while you were not innocent, neither am I, and there are truths between the two of us that shouldn’t have remained unspoken. I’ve never thought to run from the blame.

My hands are not clean, and maybe they never will be, but they can still carry you home when you’re ready to sleep.

Perhaps a fact I recognized too late.

I do not want to say goodbye, however I—“

It cut off.

The letter left a lump in Goro’s throat. He read it through once more. He wanted to analyze each sentence down to its core, but the light had died out. But there were bits and pieces, words that suck out in his mind. “Farewell,” “Innocent,” “Unspoken.”

“Too late.”

Goro bit down on his lip hard. The case files— those he understood. With the life he’d allegedly lived and the people he’d known, of course something like that would be predominant. They were fact on paper, ignorant of bias, they’d be full of names and leads. They were important. But, he didn’t understand why these almost-letters had been left here. Out of anything that could’ve been kept. Had there been someone he’d felt so strongly for? To be kept in safety behind lock and key?

To identify this person— that could be his next goal to achieving his memories. To ignite the fire of their eventual reunion, and perhaps they could know what happened to him. They could come easy, though he suspected that anyone who he’d decided to be so rottenly open with wouldn’t be typical. But, they would also know him, past the media, past the appearances.

And, though he wasn’t going to admit it, he’d needed something more hopeful to work towards.

He put the papers back where they belonged, placed the entire case back into the cardboard box, and stacked the case files back atop it.

There was no telling how old these letters were. They could’ve been from much before his incident. But this set him up for a goal, a big one, that might get him back to whatever meager place he’d left himself in.

He picked up the box, and prepared himself to head back outside to Ohya. He needed to muster up his resolve, because this was only the first out of two very important clues this visit could provide.

He positioned the box onto his waist, and took one last look into the dark before closing up his unit. He returned to Ohya’s car, pulling open the door without so much as a greeting, and set the box on the floor in front of his seat.

Ohya leaned forward, interested. “That a box you got?”

He wasn’t going to talk about the embarrassing letters he found. Even if he wanted to, his second clue came first. “It’s not that important right now,” he lied. “Is your contact still here?”

She raised her eyebrows at him, but let the topic drop. “Sure is. She can’t leave ‘till we leave.”

Good. “I need to speak with her.”

She hummed in reply, seeming very curious by his idea. They drove back up to the entrance, Ohya not questioning his motives, but still giving him an inquiring side eye every so often.

They got out of the car together this time, and walked into the front office. The woman was reading behind the counter, almost completely in the dark, with only a desk lamp lighting her work area.

She glanced up at them, and placed her book upside down. “Hey there. You got that key?”

“Yes,” Goro replied. He placed it lightly on the counter. She took it without a word, and got up to put it back on its hook. Goro stopped her before she turned. “I have a question for you.”

She seemed a little surprised. She glanced between him and Ohya, and then put her free hand on her hip. “Okay?”

He hoped he could push his luck just a bit further today. He’d made it this far, after all.

“Is there any way I can see the documentation that was filed when this unit was made?” he asked.

The woman pursed her lips. “Ohya?”

Ohya put her hands up defensively. “Don’t look at me. This is all him.”

The woman stared at Goro. He stared back. This was arguably the most important part of the visit. He needed to see those papers. Just a single particular part, it was the one factor that needed an explanation. He would not leave until he got that documentation, and if he had to stand his ground and pull her leg a bit to get it, he would.

After their staring contest lasted just a moment too long, she folded her arms. “Jeez. Only because I feel bad for you, okay?” she huffed, turning on her heel. “And because my niece liked your food blog.”

She disappeared into the back of the office, leaving Goro feeling just a bit full of himself. He would think about the food blog comment later.

Ohya lightly punched his arm. “Okay, good going. But whatcha going to do with that?”

“There’s something I need to check,” he replied flatly. It made Ohya grunt unenthusiastically.

The woman returned with a few papers, all paper clipped together. She tossed them onto the counter. “This is a customer copy, okay? So feel free to keep it.” She glared at Ohya. “And, I’m going home now. So, get out, please.”

That got a laugh out of Ohya. “I know I can always count on you to bend a couple of rules for me.”

“Out.”

They left the building, Ohya waving her last goodbyes while Goro rushed to the car. He needed to get some light on these papers, it was long past sundown now. He slid himself into the car, clicked on one of the lights, and went to work reading, all while Ohya was still walking over.

Ohya opened her door and stood outside watching him, leaning on the frame. First, it was with interest, but it soon turned into irritation.

“Kid, tell me what you’re looking for. You’ve got your eyeballs all over that thing,” she said.

He didn’t let their conversation stop him from reading. He kept his eyes glued to the page, checking each word and box before moving on.

He did owe her an explanation. Getting his thoughts out would help him focus a bit, anyway.

“These sorts of things— storage units. Wouldn't they be paid for recurrently?”

Ohya went quiet for a moment. “They are,” she said, and joined him in the car. “Shit. Those funds can’t be coming from you, can they.”

“Exactly. I’m looking for the responsible billing party.” He turned onto the next page. None of the handwriting matched what he’d seen on his papers and files, which further confirmed to him that this unit hadn’t been one he’d purchased himself. Whoever this was had put all that information in there, those cases, those letters. He suspected they weren’t his mystery recipient, but he could confirm that with them once they’d met.

Why this had been done in his name, though, was beyond him.

He flipped onto the last page, and found his prize. Big black bolded letters asking for the responsible parties name, and neat penmanship filling in the blank.

“Sae Niijima,” he read aloud.

Ohya gawked.

“‘Sae Niijima?’ Seriously?” she scoffed to herself, and sunk down further in her seat. “She’s an attorney. A damn good one, too.”

An attorney? He wondered how she could’ve known him. “She’s the one paying, apparently.”

Ohya tapped long slender fingers onto her steering wheel again. She dropped her head. “Guess that means she’s our next lead, huh?”

Goro adjusted himself in his seat. “It does.”

“Ahh, man,” she complained. “You’re really somebody who’s in with the big guns, you know. You better let me have some exclusive with you after all this is done, or something.”

Goro gave way a hint of a smile. Probably his first since he’d woken up. If this would be the last of his luck, so be it. He hated to rely on something so shifty and mischievous, anyways. This was a start, barely a sprout, to whatever his big picture was. But he’d see himself to the very top.

Really, he’d already died once. Hardly a way to go but up.

“We’ll see.”

#thank u for the aaaask!!!#this is shuake but akira is actually not in it at all whatsoever #also im so sorry i know the ending is. unsatisfying.#i just realized if i wanted the most satisfying ending possible this would go from 8k to like 32k at least #maybe once i post all these prompts on ao3 ill consider adding chapters to this cause i do like the premise #this is also like. my first published non comedic piece. so a lot of this is experimental for myself #anyway i hope you enjoy!!!#my fics #ask #anonymous #my p5 fics

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nviatey · 3 years

Text

ok heres a quick update

its 2020 i dont know why i didnt do this during the lockdown

*cue the Apparently kid*

well apparently its been about 2 years since i posted here... i havent updated in a while..

and apparently its my birthday.. and apparently ive never been 25 before LOL

> okay so xmas was great, grey day but had a lovely meal outside (tonys 7 dishes made in like 3 hours - magic) with aunty taloa, susi, both grandads, all the AKMavs, all the wellingtonians (mish tony mac) and uncle cliff present. Jake in Auckland with his humungous family lol, I should have gone with him but we’re not married yet so whatareyagunado. yashudasuckanigaddickfafree

I would like to have a special mention for Uncle Cliff who was having a riot of a time and was my talent quest partner, although we lost the comp I think we won in Xmas cheer hahahaha.

I would also like to have a special mention for Cliff’s brother, my dad lol who was my other talent quest partner and was holding it down for the bro so he could have a good time without it getting out of hand (it be like dat sometimes - cliff is alcohol dependent, misdiagnosed w schizophrenia, actually bipolar i think, regularly medicated i think, super crazy talent music art brain, constantly damned to hell by their minister father)

> ummmm the year - i had a great time in isolation sorry lol, i really liked being allowed to do nothing and not having to feel guilty for it.

> ahhh what else im sick of being broke? well actually im okay with it and im happy to go job searching and spend another year here actually venturing out into the canterbury world, BUT: jake has decided he wants to move to australia and get rich quick lol. no opinions about it yet except weve both been floating around here for 3 years tryna do our theatre thing and nothing is working lol. (im coming to realize that there are certain people here that say they wanna support us with our artist ventures but still expect us to work for free - could be our fault because we joke about being broke all the time, but I still dont think its right. imagine you went to school for 3 years to get a paper in a thing and then people still expect you to work your qualified ass for exposure) so the mindset is, if we’re gonna switch lanes to start working shit jobs just to make money, we may as well go to a place where the shit jobs make shitloads of money.

> and to address all those broken ass posts from a while back... holy frick was i a mess. glad to say i am in a better place mentally and emotionally. i think i have matured a lot and even though i still dont think that whole situation sits right with me, i have accepted that theres nothing i can do or could have done and im ready to get the fuck on with it.

the depression stuff was/is a lot and i realized that jake was a shitbag during my depression because hes been depressed his entire life and didnt even want to acknowledge it (call back to that other post where he said ”we all have it”) its not something i want to get into with him yet, but i keep it in the back of my mind. im strong again, im at a place where i can feel genuine empathy for him - which is an emotion jake’s robot brain knows how to identify but cant actually feel. yet. he needs help and i hope he can find it before the big leap idk if thats my job or if i just have to squeeze his hand through his journey to being a new man (this is a ref to him getting his pe’a this year woop woop)

thats all i can process atm

happy happy birthday me

#thoughts

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hyukiee · 3 years

Text

Chapter 6: Withdrawal

warnings: cussing, drug mention, withdrawals

so im just the worst procrastinator ever.. i have a hard time keeping with stories but i absolutely love this one so i’ll do better for yall ❤️

“What? What is it? Take a picture creep it will last longer,” you rolled your guys at Taehyung who had been staring at you with his cute box smile for what felt like forever. It was making you blush. “Can I?” He exclaimed like a little child about to open up a christmas gift. You sighed playing rolling your eyes again. “So what now? I mean like once we land, what am I supposed to do?” It was stupid on your part to not fully think this through but for once you let your heart make a decision for you. It felt nice but it made you so anxious. A xanax would of been nice right now. “You can stay with us for as long as you want, we’ll help you look into schools and we’ll start from there,” he grabbed your hand and held it like he was afraid you would jump out the plane before it even took off. This is really making you anxious. You were too consumed with your feelings to even think about making the smart decision of packing some xanax for, well, this. You would have to get it medically prescribed to you in South Korea, you don’t take that place for a druggie world. You’ve never had to go through a withdrawal but something tells you the guys won’t let any of your shit slide.”So how about that picture baby?”

“So y/n is going with the manager to the other exit, the fans are all outside you know how it is,” Namjoon spoke to the group before they walked out of the plane. “Is this my life now?” You only half jokingly whispered to Taehyung. “Not for long babygirl, i’ll post that picture of us eventually,” he whispered back winking at you before kissing your cheek. “See you at the dorm!” He waved at you frantically like a little boy going to his first day at school. Cute.

“Korea really is so different,” you spoke to yourself looking around at the neighborhood you and the manager parked in. Definitely different from California. Seoul was beautiful though, the city lights at night must be a sight. You walked up to the dorm and realized it was a lot different on the inside. The outside made it seem like some average middle class place, which was probably the point but the inside was beautiful. BTS is rich, most definitely but you would of guessed that when you got a mimosa on the private plane. “Mm, I can get used to having you here,” Taehyung wrapped his arms around your waist kissing your neck. You tried to make a response but started realizing something was off. You felt cold but it almost seemed like you were sweating. “What’s wrong?” When you tried to speak you felt something come up from your throat. You pushed Taehyung away and ran to the sink in the kitchen and threw up. “Fuck,” you gagged continuously before you threw up again. “Did the plane make you sick?” Taehyung asked rubbing your back with one hand and grabbing your hair in the other. “I don’t know, maybe, i’m fine I just need to go to a doctor and get some xanax or something,” throwing up made your anxiety sky rocket and it almost seemed like you were starting your first ever withdrawal. “What the fuck y/n, I thought you realized you can’t do that shit here, what are you thinking?” It sounded like Taehyung was scolding you like some child. You had no energy in you to argue with him right now. Your whole body was screaming at you to get something, anything in your system. “Jesus fucking christ,” you rubbed your forehead before turning around walking out the dorm, maybe accidentally slamming the door.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but is everything okay” Yoongi walked out right when you left bring Tae’s attention to him. “This is gonna be hard, that’s for sure,” Taehyung laughed sarcastically. “If she’s going to the doctor for it that means she wouldn’t be doing anything illegal. She might actually need it. I’ll tell you now though, being someone with anxiety, they won’t give her or anyone Xanax,” Yoongi tried to calm Taehyung’s nerves, he was very obviously frustrated but he didn’t really need to be. He started to feel bad as he thought about it more. He knows you have pretty bad anxiety and his hyung was right, you said you would go to the doctor, not the streets. “Is y/n okay?” Jimin asked walking into the dorm. At least your still out there. “She’s fine, just a little plane sick, Taehyung resolved Jimin’s concern right before you walked in with the rest of the members. “We were just talking about having some drinks to welcome y/n, what do you all think?” Namjoon asked the three guys enthusiastically knowing no one would say no but Taehyung desperately wanted to. The last thing he needs right now is you being drunk and pissy.

“Guyssss, thank you so much for beinging me here, this is great,” you spoke hugging as many members as you could after taking another big swig of your drink. You were really drunk and absolutely loving it. You noticed Taehyungs glares a long time ago but you didn’t care. You did but you were mad at him for trying to change you. Just because you came here doesn’t mean your just going to stop these habits you’ve had for literally years. He’s being delusional. You made eye contact with him from across the room and quickly turned around to walk the other way, almost completely losing your balance in the process. “Y/n are you okay?” Taehyung ran to you trying to keep you from falling. “I’m fucking fine,” you pushed him away feeling less than fine but your stubbornness kept you from accepting his help. The second you said that though you felt yourself about to throw up and ran to the bathroom only barely making it. “Y/n... i’ll take you to the doctor tomorrow, i’m sorry,” Taehyung got on his knees and rubbed your shoulders as weakly nodded before throwing up again.

“Hyung, i’m gonna miss practice today, I told y/n i’d take her to the doctor,” Tae rubbed the back of his neck as he whispered to Namjoon in the kitchen. “Is she okay?” “She will be, hopefully,” Taehyung sighed walking back to his room before his hyung could respond.

This would be far from how you’ve imagined withdrawals to be like. Your body felt paralyzed, every bone in you ached beyond belief. You had been throwing up all night and sleepless Taehyung stayed by your side the whole time. He felt bad walking back into his room to see you finally sound asleep knowing he had to wake you up if you wanted to get to the doctor on time. “Y/n.. you need to get up so we can take you to the doctor,” His heart melted seeing your nose scrunched up as you attempted to stretch, the pain you were in was very visably noticeable. Tae started to feel a sense of guilt, he didn’t think about how this would happen by having you come to Korea with them. “Do you need the bathroom before we go?” “If I throw up one more time I might actually throw up my insides,” your voice was raspy, hair was tangled beyond belief and your face looked lifeless but Taehyung still blushed and his stomach fluttered as he helped you up. “Well, don’t throw up in my car,” He gave you his box smile making you laugh partially rolling your eyes.

“So we found cocaine, xanax, ecstasy-“ “The list will go on, I know i’m withdrawaling from drugs,” you instantly felt bad for being snappy with the doctor but he probably understood. “Is there anything she can take to get through this?” Tae asked licking his lips and folding his arms, he was so attractive caring for you, it made you blush. “Unfortunately, if she wants to get clean, she can’t take anything. Frankly, with everything in her system i’d recommend rehab,” You scoffed. “Yah, i’m not 12, you can talk to me, the patient,” the doctor gave Taehyung a look before looking at you. His look screamed ‘fucking foreigners’ but fuck him. “Miss, I won’t perscribe you any anxiety medication until you come in again and you’re clean from all the drugs in your system,” “He can’t do that can he?” you turned toward Taehyung but he didn’t give you a response. “I have reason to believe there could be potential abuse if I prescribe you this drug so I have a right to deny you, for the time being.” The doctor gave his final words before bowing and leaving the room. Taehyung sighed before grabbing both your hands, “It’s okay… we’ll all be here for you for the time being and we’ll come back when your better.” You hated his optimism.

#bts #fanfic #kpop fanfic #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut

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yoddream · 4 years

Text

walk | l.dh

pairing: Haechan x fem!reader

warnings: car accident, blood, mentions of paralysis, angst, broken bones

summary: it all happened so fast

word count: 1,972 (ik it’s short im sorry i wanna try to think of a long story with him but im a little stuck rn)

a/n: hey y’all. i’m really sorry it’s short. there are all these ideas in my phone on what to write and this was one of them so i chose to use haechan. nobody’s sending any requests in, so i’m getting stuck with my work. i’m still working on my bad body jeno one but it’s a really long one so it’s gonna be a while. i will gladly take requests (as long as it’s not smut) so please send them in! gotta get the creative juices flowin n shit

It was easier to say what didn’t hurt rather than what did. Your legs didn’t hurt, but that was because you couldn’t feel them. It was terrifying, to keep it simple. You couldn’t even remember what had happened. You and Donghyuck were driving home from dinner with your friends. You kept your eyes on the road even though wanted to look at your best friend and admire him as he sang along to the songs that were floating from the speakers. His car was in the shop, so you were driving him home. There was a flash of lights—

Right. A car had swerved into your lane. You turned the wheel to avoid getting hit, but instead the car rolled a couple times before landing on the roof. That’s where you were now: upside down in the middle of the road. You didn’t know where the other car was, but you knew they weren’t as bad as you two.

“Y/N. Y/N!” Donghyuck shouted.

“I’m here, Hyuck,” you assured him. “I’m here.”

“Oh, thank god. I was worried you were passed out or—” He didn’t have to finish that sentence for you to understand what he had been thinking.

“Good thing I refused to leave until you buckled your seatbelt, huh?” you joked.

There was a rough chuckle. “Only you would find now is a good time to make jokes.”

You paused. “I’m scared, Hyuck.”

“I am too, but we’re gonna get out of this,” he promised you. “We’re gonna get out, we’re gonna walk away from this, and we’ll take that road trip you’ve been planning since the beginning of high school.”

“I can’t feel my legs.”

The car slowly lit up as emergency vehicles got closer. “Then I’ll wheel you away, but we’re getting out.”

“Hyuck, I’m tired.”

“No, no, no, do not close your eyes. Stay with me, Y/N. Please, stay with me,” he begged.

“I’ll try, but I really wanna sleep,” you stated.

“You’ll be able to sleep at the hospital but I need you to stay awake for me, doll. I know you can do it.”

You could hear him tell the EMTs to get you out first, but your eyes refused to stay opened. You mumbled an apology before completely losing consciousness. The last thing you remembered was the flash of yellow from a firefighter’s jacket.

///

Donghyuck wanted to see you so badly, but you were in surgery, and he had a broken arm that needed to be set before put in a cast. He knew absolutely nothing, and it was driving him insane. He and Renjun were your only emergency contacts, so the other boy was on his way to the hospital. You lost contact with your parents as soon as you had turned eighteen, tired of their disapproval with every decision you made, whether it was the friends you made or however you decided to change your hairstyle. Donghyuck and the rest of the guys were all you had.

You and Donghyuck had met in the third grade when you moved to the neighborhood. He’d immediately pulled you into his friend group consisting of Chenle, Jaemin, Jeno, Jisung, and Renjun. It was a wide variety of personalities, yet you somehow managed to get along with all of them. They felt there was no one else in the world that could cackle with Chenle one minute and have deep conversations with Renjun the next. No one could stand Jaemin’s affection as much as you, and no one could sit with Jeno for hours upon hours listening to music without speaking like you. You were the reason Jisung was able to break out of his shell and get a girlfriend, and you were the reason Donghyuck was a ray of sunshine.

“Hyuck!” He looked up and found Renjun’s head bobbing through the busy emergency room. “Hyuck, what happened? Where’s Y/N?”

“We were—we were in a car accident. It rolled. Renjun, I—” Donghyuck was at a loss for words.

“Do you know if she’s going to be okay?”

“There was so much blood. She lost so much. She’s in surgery right now, but I don’t know what they’re working on. She couldn’t feel her legs.”

Renjun’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, a rare sight. He nodded before taking his phone out, muttering something about calling the others. He was about to step away when a hand shot out and grabbed his arm. He looked up and frowned. There was fear written all over Donghyuck’s face; the boy didn’t want to be left alone at all.

The two of them sat on the bed as they waited for either the doctor or their friends to show up, whoever came first. Even though his arm was broken, Donghyuck felt numb. He just wanted to see you, to hold your hand, to hear your laugh again. He wanted all of that, but he couldn’t get it. He didn’t know if he ever would.

The guys ended up arriving at the same time the doctor needed to help Donghyuck with his arm. Renjun filled them in quickly before going to sit with him while his arm was set. He was silent through the whole thing, and the doctor seemed concerned by the lack of reaction.

“Did you feel that?” she asked.

Donghyuck shrugged. “Probably.”

“He’ll definitely feel it later,” Renjun assured her. “Right now, uh, our best friend is in surgery. We don’t know how it’ll turn out.”

She nodded in understanding. “Okay. Well, I’m going to write you a prescription for some pain medication. Take it every four hours if needed. There are no refills, so if you run out or feel you need something with less strength, take some ibuprofen.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Renjun said as he took the paper.

They headed back to the emergency room to sit with their friends as they waited for your surgeon to appear with whatever news she had. Renjun was pacing, never one to sit still. Jisung was asleep in Jeno’s lap, his whole body curled up. Chenle was playing a game on his phone to keep himself distracted, but he looked to Jisung to check on him every few minutes. Jaemin was a few feet away, trying to work the coffee vending machine. Donghyuck watched people filter in and out of the waiting room for hours until the sun rose. When he heard your name called, he stood up so quickly he almost fell over from the blood rush.

“How is she? Is she okay?” he asked as the others woke up and joined him.

“Everything went well. She lost a lot of blood, but we managed to stop it. We, unfortunately, don’t know when she’ll wake up. With all the injuries she sustained, it could range from a couple hours to a couple days,” the surgeon explained.

“What about her legs? Hyuck said she couldn’t feel them,” Renjun stated.

She paused. “One of the lumbar vertebrae was fractured in the accident, and it’s currently compressing onto her spinal cord. Right now, she’s in a brace to take some pressure of her spine, but we can’t perform any surgery until she’s well enough.”

“Can we see her?” Chenle asked.

“Unfortunately, only family can.”

“We are her family,” Donghyuck said.

“I understand that you’re worried, but unless you’re her actual family—”

He cut her off. “Damn it, she doesn’t have family! We’re all she has!”

A silence fell upon the whole room, and it took him a couple seconds to realize what he’d done. He started apologizing profusely, but she simply smiled and shook her head.

“Don’t worry, I get it. I’ll let the nurses know that you all are considered family.”

She gave them directions to your room. They didn’t hesitate to rush down the hallway, but not before yelling out their thanks. When they reached your room, it took them a moment to realize that they were looking at you. Your face was covered in bruises, and there were quite a few butterfly bandages on your cheeks and forehead. Your arms were wrapped in gauze, and your torso was in a giant brace. You were almost unrecognizable.

Donghyuck grabbed a chair and dragged it to your bedside. He reached out his good hand and grabbed your own, careful of the cuts that were on your skin. Jaemin grabbed the other chair, letting Jeno sit on the arm of it. The others stood at the end of the bed, seemingly scared to step closer.

“Jesus, Y/N. What the hell have you gotten yourself into?” Jeno mumbled.

The only response was the rise and fall of your chest.

///

It was a process trying to wake up. First, you felt the pain in your back. Next, you heard the heart monitor that you were strapped to. Then, you smelled the sterile air of the hospital. Finally, you opened your eyes, squinting against the sunlight. You looked around and spotted Jaemin and Chenle sitting by the window. Chenle looked over first, a wide smile stretching across his face.

“Hey, you’re awake!” he announced.

Jaemin’s head whipped around, his eyes wide with shock. He grinned as well and walked over. His hand reached up to push the hair from your face as he asked how you were feeling. You whined in discomfort, knowing he understood to an extent how much pain your back was in. As glad as you were to talk to them, there was somebody more important you needed to see.

“Where’s Hyuck?” you asked. When they didn’t answer right away, you started to panic. “Where is he?”

“I’m right here.”

You looked to the door and sighed with relief when your eyes landed on your best friend. His arm was in a cast and sling, and there were a few cuts and bruises on his face, but he was otherwise okay. He rushed forward and hugged you as gently as he could before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Told you we would make it out of there,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, sounds like I might walk away too,” you replied.

When he pulled away, there was a fond smile on his face. “Good, because you’re heavy.”

Gasping, you reached out to hit his good arm. He yelped and whined about how it wasn’t fair, but you rolled your eyes and called him a big baby. He turned to complain to Chenle and Jaemin, but to your surprise, they were gone.

“Huh. Wonder when they left,” you commented.

Sitting down, Donghyuck took your hand in his and squeezed lightly. “You really scared me, you know.”

You nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to get hit, so I turned the car so I would—”

“Wait, what?” His eyes widened in surprise at your words.

“When—when the car hit us. I turned the car so it would hit me,” you admitted.

He frowned, his eyes glistening with tears that you knew he would do his best to hold back. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I love you, dumbass.” After what you’d gone through, you didn’t want to hold it in anymore. “I love you so fucking much. If you died, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

“And you think I would’ve just lived my life like nothing?” he argued. “No, no way. I would be absolutely crushed. So don’t go talking like my heart wouldn’t be broken if I lost my other half.”

He kissed the back of your hand and added, “As soon as you’re out of here, I’m dating you so hard. I’m talking fancy dinners with candles and everything.”

You tried to fight back the smile that was threatening to spread across your face, but it couldn’t be stopped. “Good, because I don’t want anyone else to.”

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cruecifymesixx · 4 years

Text

Love and Leather /part Sixxty Eight/

Word Count:10.9k

A/N: continuation from 67! Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated

Warnings: language, extreme angst, intense therapy sessions, SMUT(bear with me. I haven't wrote smut in a hot minute)

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless,, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland @awesomealmostdopestudent, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @kellysimagines @meetthesixxter, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx, @m0rnlngstar, @cranberrirolls, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess

*Nikki's POV*

"Nikki, Vanity is in the hospital. She doesnt want you here but im not taking Arianna to the hospital because I dont waknow what kind of condition Van is in. So, I need you to be here for your daughter, or are you actually the asshole I think you are?"

I stared down at the desk, trying to Process waht was going on, "Nikki? Did you hear me?" My stomach was twisting into knots as my heart felt like it was stuck in a vise grip.

"The hospital? Is-is she okay?" I breathed out the words. You know when you have those moments where it feels as if all time is standing still and you are the only person in the univer? Thats how i was feeling.

"I dont know Nikki! All i know is Arianna wasnt picked up from school. I found her waitin ginside when I left. I tried calling Vanity but she didnt answer and I had a voicemail from the hospital saying she was there and im her only emergency contact she has."

I reached for my water, dowing it until the bottle was empty, "Uh...uh...it's gonna take me hours to get there regardless..."

Clementine scoffed, "Unbelievable, do you not fucking hear me? Vanity is in the hospital!! The mother of your child and so called loved of your life needed medical attention!"

"It's gonna take me hours to get there..." I repeated.

"I don't give a shit Nikki. You have the fancy jet, use it."

I shook my head, "Look, im the last person Vanity wants to see right now. Can't you just send Ari to one of her friends or something.? Can't someone else watch her while you go to the hospital? Clementine, I'm across the country..."

She laughed, "As if I would send her to stay with Jason. I'm her only friend here, Nikki."

I felt my bood boil and my body become tense, "Ja-Jason? She's talking to Jason?" My jaw was clenched as I galred at the doorway, seeing Brandi scowling against it.

"Well Nikki, if you had kept your promise Jason wouldnt be an option." I closed my eyes, breathing through my nose as I shook my head, "He's not a fucking option!!" I yelled back in defense, "He aint even a fucking blimp."

"Are you coming or not? Arianna has already been so upset and stressed out lately. I don't want her to be upset even more. Trust me, Vanity feels the same way."

I glared at Brandi, "Just give me a few hours." I watched as she threw her arms up and shook her head.

"You fucked up this time. I mean it. You can ignore Vanity, but you dont lie to your kid."

"I know! I know! I just...look I'll explain everything whenI get there, alright?" I retorted as I hung up the phone and looked at Brandi, "You! It's all your fucking fault!"

Brandi was appalled, "Me? I did nothing! You were the one who didnt call and kept saying you were too busy! Don't put that on me!"

"I did nothing." I mocked her voice, walking past her and to my bedroom, "As if you didn't fuckin use coke and your body to make stay with you."

I shook my head, quickly grabbing garments from the closet and throwing them on my bed, "Filled my head with bullshit!" I shouted as I threw the duffle bag on the bed next.

Brandi laughed, "Oh come on Nikki. You know who you really want."

I shook my head, trying to rid my ears of her nasaly voice, "Yeah, now I do! Now that I know my daughter has been crying over me and that Vanity is in the hospital! It takes her getting hurt to make me realize it!" I screamed, watching her flich at the loudness, "It always takes Vanity getting hurt to make me fucking realize how much of an asshole I am!!"

God, I fucking hope she's okay.

"Oh my god, she's probably being dramatic! Nikki, please don't go. I just got you back, stay here with me. Please baby?"

"Why?! So you can keep ruining my fucking life? So you can keep going on the lavish trips and shopping sprees?! Fuck you and fuck off! I'm done. If I get back and your shit is still here, I'm burning this fucking house to the ground with you and your shit in it!" I threatened, grabbing my bag and then my car keys right after.

"I'm serious, Brandi. I am done. I'm signing the papers and giving them back to the lawyers."

*A few hours later*

I got out of the rental car, slamming the door as I parked outside Vanit's apartment building. I went inside, repeatedly pushing the elevator button until it opened,. I stood in the elevator, pushing my hair out of my face as I tried collecting my thoughts. I had called Clementine on the plane and she said she was at Vans house waiting for me. I couldn't wait to see Arianna.

The door slid open on her floor as I speed walked down the hallway before I was face to face with her front door. I knocked and waited until it opened.

"Took you long enough." Clementine answered, a bitchy glare on her face as I sighed, "I'm sorry, okay! I am sorry!" I said, almost out of breath as I looked at her.

"I am not the one you need to apolgize too." She snapped at me as my eyes glanced over to Arianna who was staring at me from across the living room.

"Pumpkin.." I got down on one knee, smiling at her, "I've missed you."I frowned when she completely ignored me and walked straight to Clementine.

"I want Mommy." She whsipered, pulling on Clem's hand and looking up at her.

"I'm gonna go get her babe, okay?" I tried reassuring her, but all i got in return was mean glare.

Clementine smirked as I straightened back up, "Good luck, hope you come back in one piece."

*Vanity's POV*

I glared at the wall, sitting uncomfortable as ever with my arm in a sling, dried blood around my nose and six stitches on my forehead. My glare then went to the nurse who entered my hospital room. "Can I just fucking get something for pain?! I'm dying here!!" I yelled at her, they've ignored my requests three fucking times!!

"Hello! Are you fucking stupid or something?!" I groaned, pushing the bed side table towards the nurse as she was standing at the counter.

"And something other then god damn ice chips?!" I shouted grabbing the pink plastic cup and throwing it out into the hallway.

The nurse turned towards me, "Ma'am, you need to behave. r I will get psych down here to take you to thier side of the hospital. You understand me?" She berated me like a fucking child as I looked away from her and out the window, "I will work on getting you something to drink. Buut I cannot give you any medications." I rolle dmy eyes, pulling my arm away from her touch as she tried to wrap the blood pressure cuff around my bicep.

"Do you have any recollection of what you have put into your system? cocaine and diamorphine were all found in your blood system."

"What the actual fuck is diamorphine?" I qustioned her, rubbing my temples as I felt myself becoming irritated even more.

"Plus, when you came in your blood alcohol contenet was at a point one five and thats three times the legal limit in the state of New York." I looked at the banana bag I was hooked up too, "Diamorhpine is heroin, Vanity."

"Jason..." I mentally cursed him out, "I don't do heroin." I told her as she looked at me with the same look she probably gives other druggies taht tell her the same exact thing.

"Well, we did have difficulty setting up an IV, your veins are shot in both your arms. Luckily, we were able to get the veins in your hands to cooperate or we would have had to do a pick line straight to your heart."

I shook my head, "I don't do heroin. The blow was probably mixed with the heroin. I wouldn't willingly touch heroin. I didn't- I wouldn't."

"You are very lucky the car accident wasn't your fault, but the police will be in touch with you later to get your statement. May I take your vitals now?" The nurse, whose name tag read Margie questioned as I nodded.

"Statement? I don't rember anything. When can I go home? I have a daughter-" I gasped, "I have... i have to call Clementine!" I tried getting out bed but the nused pushed me back gently by my other shoulder.

"Our charge nurse has already conta ted her, now please, relax. I'm sure your child is fine." I took some deep breaths as I relaxed into the stiff bed, "Now, since youre awake and coherent, you dislocated your shoulder and you have a concussion so no blood thinner or it could make it worse. You had a minor laceration on your forehead but the doctor took care of it."

"Sorry to interrupt you Margie, but your patients husband is here." Another female nurse stated.

"I don't have a husband." I told them and right on queue, the blood pressure monitor started beeping eratticaly when I saw Nikki.

"Get out!! I don't want him here!!" I picked up a cup of jello, chucking it as hard as I could at him but he ended up catching it in his hands.

"I thought you said you were her husband?"

"I'd rather fucking kill myself than be married to him!"I shouted at the nurse, her eyes widening at my statement.

"Margie, should I call psych?"

Nikki put the cup of lime green jello on the counter, taking hesitant steps towards me, "I am just here to take you home. Clem called me and I just flew on the jet all the way here. She's with Arianna, she didn't want her to worry."

"You're her ride home?" Nikki nodded, "No! I'm not going anywher with this psycho!" I motioned to Nikki as he frowned.

"Doll, please?"

I pointed my finger at him, "Don't do that to me, Nikki! Don't look at me like that and don't talk to me like that!"

He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring me as he started talking with the nurse, "Can i have her discharge papers, please? She'll be safe with me. She's just a little uh...pissed off at me at the moment. It's nothing new." Nikki tried to laugh as I glared at him and as the jurses looked a bit weary.

"Do you have another ride, Vanity?"

I exhaled in a defeated manenr, "No. I don't."

"Why don't you step outside with our charge nurse while wehelp her get dressed an situated with the sling." Margie explained to Nikki, motioning to the door as he nodded and stepped out.

I pulled up my jeans after they handed them to me followed by my booths. The nurses helped me put my shirt on, with minimal complaints from me about my shoulder hurtinbefore hanging my jacket off my shoulders.

"Van, look, I don't want to be here-"

"You should want to be here, Nikki!" I shouted at him in the middle of the hospital, feeling other doctors and nurses look at us.

"Stop it! Just let me finish! I meant here, in the hospital with you! Clem called and here I am! So i'll take you home and just fucking go back to California if thats's what you want, alright!?" Nikki raised his voice as I stared at him in disbelief.

I vocally let out a "Ugh!" before pushing him to the side, "I can't stand you!"

"Yeah, just keep it coming Vanity. Tell me how much you hate me!" Nikki followed with heavy footsteps as we evenutally made it outside of the hospital, "Fuckin telll me Van! Tell me how horrible I am and how much of an asshole I am! Let's get it out of the way now princess!"

I quickly turned around, shoving him with my free arm repeatedly, "Where were you?!" I yelled, "You bastard! I can't fucking believe you would do this!" I shoved his chest again, forcing him to lean back into the wall as I continued to do so, "i'm so fucking sorry wer're such a bruden to you and your wife!"

"She's not my wife! I was busy!" He defended himself as I shoved him again, "Vanity, knock it off!"

"Busy with what Nikki?! Tommy's been here so don't even tell me it's the band and I highly doubt divorce papers take three months to sign!"

"She tried getting me to stay and-"

"Tried?! Nikki, you did stay! You chose her over me, not even me but your fucking daughter!" I shoved him again, but this time he grabbed my arm and forced it to my side.

"Calm down, now!" He lowered his head, shouting in my face as I fought his grip, "She's getting her shit out while im here! My marriage to her is over! Alright?! Stop acting like a fucking bat out of hell!"

I forced my wrist away from his grasp, "Just take me to my daughter."

"I'm sorry, Vanity. I really am."

I rolled my eyes, opening up his car door before sitting down, "Fucking save it Nikki. You're always sorry."

When we arrived at my apartment door, I unlocked it and tried slamming it in Nikk's face but he stopped it from closing.

"Mommy!" I sighed, trying to keep my tears in check as I picked up Arianna and gave her a hug.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Mom got into a little trouble and she had to go see the doctors, but im okay now." I smothered her cheeks in kisses, "Pizza and cookies? Wow! Did you tell Auntie Clem thank you?"

Arianna giggled, "We made them for you! And we saved some pizza. Auntie said you would be grumpy and hungry when you got home." I smiled, silently thanking Clementine.

"Boo boo?" Arianna frowned as she pulled on the swing a bit.

I nodded and brushed my finger over her cheek, "Yeah angel, a really big boo boo but i'll be better in no time." I smiled as she kissed my cheek. I saw her then look over my shoulder as I sighed and put her down on the floor, "You should go say hi to daddy while he's here..."

Arianna glared at him before she loooked up at me, "I saw him already."

"Nikki took a few steps before crouching down to her height, "I've missed you princess." He smiled at her and fixed a loose strand of her hair, "Dad's been busy.." Arianna wasn't buying his bullshit either as she walked away from him and went to play with the scattered toys in the living room.

Nikki, the six foot and buck seventy five man that he is, got on his hands and knees and crawled over to her, "You got new toys? Those are pretty cool."

"I want to play by myself." Arianna told him, moving all of her toys away from Nikki and putting them in front of her.

I felt Clementines glaring at me, "I am fine."

"Oh really now?" She laughed a bit, "What the hell even happened Vanity?"

I motioned her to come over to the table and sit down with me so our conversation would be out of earshot from both Nikki and Arianna.

"You cannot get mad, alright? But I maybe snorted a bit too much and drank a little, or a lot. I don't remember crashing, and I sure as hell don't remember getting to the hospital-" I laughed, "And get this, heroin was mixed in with the blow I got from Jason. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Vanity..."

"No worries! It's all good!" I reassured Clementine with a pat on the arm, "I'm fine, I mean kinda. My shoulders dislocated and I have a concussion. They flushed my system, I'm good! I'm great!" I shrugged it off like it was nothing as Clem wore an upset look on her face.

She took off her glasses, rubbing her temples before she looked at me, "Good/" Good until Jason gives you more drugs?"

"I'm not. I'm done. I finished off what he had gave me, I told myself that's all I would do. I'm sorry clem."

She scoffed, "Sorry?" Vanity, you could've been seriously injured or worse. You're wasting money on this crap!" Clementine raised her voice just a tad.

"Well, so what if I am? It's not like I'm broke or poor." i retorted, glancing over and seeing Nikki attempt to get into Arianna's good graces.

"Nice, real nice Vanity." I looked back at Clem, seeign her stone cold glare.

"What?!" I gave her a confused expression, "That was not a shot at you if that's what you are thinking. You're not broke or poor. Your paintings sell and I give you money for being her babysitter."

"I said I wanna play alone!!" We both turned our heads when Arianna had yelled at Nikki, "Give me my dolly!" She yelled again, snatching it out of his hands.

"Princess, I am sorry I've been gone." Nikki spoke with hurt in his voice as he stared at her in shock before he glanced at me for guidance.

"Arianna, c'mon. You can't just ignore me." Nikki smiled before ticking her sides.

I watched as she pushed his hands away from her, "Go away."

"She's as stubborn as you are." Clementine mumbled to me as I nodded.

"I don't want to play with you." Arianna muttered as she moved away from Nikki completely, taking her toys with her but he only followed after her.

"Daddy just has stuff to take care of in California, ya know?" Nikki spoke softly as he laid on his side and tinkered with one of her toys.

"Go back to 'fornia!"

Nikki sighed, narrowing his eyes at her, "Arianna, do not yell at me."

"You lied! Mommy said you lied!"

Remind me to stop gossiping with Clementine while Arianna is within the same vicinity.

Nikki side eyed me before turning his attention back to her, “Babe, I-I didn’t lie. I told you I’d be back and I’m here now.”

“You stutter!”

“Arianna, I didn’t lie to you! Stop yelling at me!” Nikki raised his voice, not necessarily yelling at her but he was stern.

“Liar!” Arianna shouted, throwing her doll at Nikki’s face before she ran down the hallway to her bedroom. I heard her attempt to slam her door but since little tiny fingers and door jams don’t mix well, I had put foam at the top of the wooden frame.

Nikki mumbled as he got off the floor, “Just like your mother.”

“I think maybe you should go…” I told him as his eyes darted over to me.

Nikki shook his head, “I flew all the way out here. She can be stubborn all she damn well pleases, but I’m not leaving.”

“Then you should have called. Kids aren’t stupid.”

I closed my eyes, wishing Clementine had not put her two cents in as I felt Nikki’s anger rise even more.

“Stay the fuck out of it! It isn’t any of your god damn business!” He snapped at her quickly as she rolled her eyes before she stood up and started grabbing her things.

“Clem..” I spoke softly as I watched her shake her head, probably plotting how to murder Nikki and get away with it.

“Not a single fucking thank you for making sure your kid doesn’t know you like to come home high and pass out. That she doesn’t know how much of a fucking asshole her father is.”

I glared at Nikki as he rolled his eyes at me and went to sit down on the couch, “Clementine, I’m sorry. But thank you for making sure Arianna is always safe. I love you?”

She sighed, glancing at me as she looked back at Nikki, “I love you too…just call if you need me okay? Maybe take your mutt to go get neutered, he likes pissing on everything.”

I tried to keep my laughter in, “Bye Clementine, Thank you.”

I closed the door, turning around and leaning against it as Nikki stood in the middle of my living room.

“Can we please talk now? Just you and me.” I watched as he fiddled with his thumbs as I went to the fridge and grabbed my bottle of wine and glass from the cupboard.

“I don’t think you should be drinking if you…” Nikki stopped talking as he was met with my death glare. I sat down on the couch as he sat down next to me.

“You were gone for months, Nikki. You didn’t even call! You barely called at first and then it just stopped. How is that suppose to make me feel? To make your daughter feel?” I expressed my grievances as I poured the sweet red into the glass.

“Vanity, I’m sorry.” He placed his hand on my knee, “I fucked up. I really fucked up. She…Brandi gave me coke and it had me going for a minute. I was an idiot.”

“Blow? She gave you blow? I introduced you to your fucking child and you just run back to la la land because of some fucking dust? Prioritize what’s important to you, Nikki!”

Nikki shook his head, “I thought…I just thought maybe you didn’t really want me back, that it was all just a one time thing.”

That alone sent a knife straight through my heart, “A one time thing?” I stared at him, “After the night we spent together before you left, you really thought that was a one time thing? I wouldn’t of said the things I said if it was just a one time thing.”

“Babe, I was just…she fucking cornered me and it was a moment of weakness.”

I laughed in his face, “More like a moment of stupidity. Let me guess, she offered a few lines to you with her mouth wrapped around your dick again?”

Nikki took the glass of wine out of my hand before pulling me towards him, “I am sorry, okay? I messed up. I listened to the wrong person. I made a horrible mistake. I promise darling, I’m not going anywhere. I’m done leaving. I should have never went back there to begin with, should’ve made the lawyers fly out here.”

I felt his hand wrap around mine as his thumb brushed over my bruised knuckles, “How do I know that Nikki? That you just won’t leave again? That I won’t have to think of some bullshit reason to tell Ari why you aren’t here.”

“Because I’m not going anywhere Van, I swear to god I’m not leaving again. I’m not leaving unless you and her come back home with me. Brandi’s gone, princess. It’s done. She used coke because she knows it’s one of my weaknesses right after you.”

“Why does she have such a hold on you Nikki? I saw the pictures in the magazine. You two looked so happy.” I felt my chest get heavy as tears started building up.

Nikki kissed the back of my palm, “Those pictures were a bunch of lies doll, you have to believe me Vanity. I had to stay at a hotel for a few days after cause I felt so…so fake and wrong. I just wanted to hide and disappear from the world.”

Nikki wiped my cheek with a finger, “Why didn’t you come back to me right after that? You could’ve came here Nikki.”

I saw tears in his hazel eyes, “I-I was scared. Scared that the weeks I spent here with you and her was too good to be true. That all of this was happening again. It’s us Vanity, when are the cards ever in our favor?”

“We have some pretty shitty cards dealt for us, huh?” I laugh as I wipe his tears from the corner of his eye, “Please stop hurting me.” I begged him as I cupped his jaw, feeling the muscle relax underneath, “I’d wait forever for you, Sixx. I’m stupid for doing it, but I would do it in every universe.”

Nikki frowned, “I know. I know. I won’t, I promise. Please…please don’t take me out of yours and her lives. I want to be apart of it.”

“Nikki, that’s all based on your behavior. Not mine.”

He nodded, “Okay, fine. Where…where can I start? What do you want me to do.” He was acting like an attentive puppy waiting for his next treat.

“Can you get Arianna ready for bed?”

Nikki laughed, “How hard could that even be?”

*Nikki’s POV*

I had chased Arianna round the house for the past hour, even tripping and almost falling over rugs and her toys that were every where. I chased Arianna into her room as she laughed her ass off. No, this wasn’t a fun game of chase.

“Arianna, time for bed. Now!” I grabbed her as she started laughing more. I carried her to her bedroom before pulling down her blankets and putting her in bed.

“You aren’t the boss of me!” She said, kicking the blankets off and attempting to get out of bed. I’d be willing to let her but it was already nine at night.

I lightly pressed on her shoulders, putting her Back down, “Arianna, do you want me to use my mean voice? Bed, now. Or you won’t like it when you don’t get any cookies or TV tomorrow.”

Her big brown eyes turned to saucers, “You’re being a poo poo head!” She shouted, tugging the blanket away from my hand.

“Yeah, and you’re being a brat. Go to sleep.” I realized that was too harsh when her bottom lip quivered.

“You’re being mean!” She pouted as she grabbed her stuffed animal and turned on her side and faced the wall.

“Goodnight angel.” I muttered before turning off her ceiling light and plugging in her night light, “Or demon.” I whispered as I stepped out of her room and closed the door.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing Vanity downing some whiskey. She had just taken her pain pills not even thirty minutes ago, “Maybe you need help. Rehab or something.” I told her softly as she shook her head and put the bottle back in the fridge

“Van, you got into a car accident. We’re lucky this wasn’t another Razzle incident….” I trailed off as she stared at me in disbelief.

“Nik, it was just a fluke accident. Plus, the person in front of me was driving like an idiot. I’m fine.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Fluke accident? Vanity, I ended up dying and coming back. If I had someone tell me then I wouldn’t have gone through all that. And you especially wouldn’t have had to find me in my closet after.”

Vanity rolled her eyes, “Literally everyone did tell you to slow down…”

“And did I listen? No, I was too late and I was lucky to come back from it. Don’t you get it doll?”

She huffed and puffed, “You’re being dramatic. I’m not going to die. I don’t over do it like you. Jason just had a bad batch that was mixed with…” I waited for her to say it, “He gave me blow that was mixed with smack.”

”Oh, speedballs. Next thing you know you’ll be freebasing.” I retorted as she let out a gasp, “I would never do that! Listening to you and reading those journals you had were scary.”

I chuckled, “Scary? Well, seems like you’ll be looking for something more intense soon enough. It’d be a shame to make Arianna go through what you went through with me.”

Vanity shook her head, “I would never go out looking for something stronger and I would never do that to Arianna.” She defended herself as this argument was now becoming amusing to me.

“That’s what I said too. You know, you act as if I was never a drug addict. She’s not gonna be able to tell you to stop, she’s a kid Van. I had to watch my mom do this shit.”

She glared at me, “Because I’m not an addict like you Nikki. I’m not hiding in closets and I never do this stuff around her. Yeah, Jason comes over but we don’t do drugs here.”

I shook my head, “A guy you shouldn’t even be associating with in the first place! He’s bad fucking news, Van.”

“What are you? My fucking dad?” Vanity snapped quickly as we stared at one another.

“Fine, do whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna go find a hotel and I’ll be back in the morning.” I grabbed my jacket off the chair as I walked past her, “Goodnight V.” I spat out hastily as I opened up the front door.

I felt her hand wrap around my wrist as I hung my head down low and exhaled, “What? We’re just pissing each other off. You’re on edge because you were forced to detox at the hospital and not thinking rationally. You really want to argue more, Vanity?”

She shook her head as her hand moved to mine, holding it tightly, “I want you to stay with me, please?”

My eyes met hers, seeing the pain and vulnerability in them, “I’ll relax, okay? I’m fine. I just want you to stay with us. You’ve been gone way to long.”

She pulled me inside, walking backwards as she played with the rings on my fingers, “You relax too. I can tell you’re upset.”

I pulled my hand away from her, “Van, why do you think I’m upset? Clementine called me saying you were in the hospital? Do you even have a clue what I thought was wrong? That maybe Arianna would be without a mother and I wouldn’t have you anymore? Do you know how terrifying that is for me? You’ve been the only constant, besides the band in my life. You’re all I have Vanity…and I already had to experience life without you and I don’t want to do it again.” I sat down on the couch as she sat down next to me, her back resting against the arm as she looked at me.

“I’m fine Nikki.” I shook my head, “No you are not. You aren’t fine and you haven’t been fine for a while. Is this…is this because of me? You doing this to yourself. The drugs? The drinking? Hanging around Jason?”

Vanity played with the ends of her hair, picking off dry blood as she looked at me, “I don’t know…” I rested my hand on her knee, brushing my thumb across her skin, “It’s…it’s not because of you. It’s because of the hurt and the pain you cause. I’m high and I don’t think or feel it. It numbs it..”

I laid my head against the back of the couch, “Have you gone to your therapist lately? If you don’t want to go to rehab then you need to be going to therapy.”

“No, I haven’t.” She mumbled as I groaned.

“Vanity, you need too! I’ll make an appointment for you.” I looked at her, seeing her staring down at her nails until I put my hand under her chin to make her look at me, “I think you need to come back home. You live where there’s a dealer around every corner and back alley. You’ll never get clean here.”

Her eyebrows tightened together, “I’m not leaving New York.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want too!” She quietly shouted, “Arianna was born here, this is all she’s known, Nikki.” She expressed her concerns as I listened.

“I understand that, but don’t you think she’d love to see the ocean? Be near me instead of only flying out when I can? She’s a kid Van, she can adjust. I think it’s only you who doesn’t want to come back home.” Vanity looked away from me, wiping her cheeks as I kissed the top of her knee before resting my chin against it.

“Then I’ll fly her out to see you or something. There’s an ocean here too, ya know? You moved around so many times as a kid and look what it did to you. I don’t want that for her.”

“I’m move here, then.”

Her lips parted, “You can’t move here. Everything for you is in Los Angeles, the band, the music. Not New York Nikki, no. I won’t let you do that.”

“Fuck the band, Vanity! I have enough money to not need the band for a while. I want you and I want our daughter, nothing else. I want you.” I told her as she wiped her tears away again and looked at me, “I want you the only way I know you. I want you to be okay again, to be a good mom and to be my best friend. If you don’t want to be my girl just yet, fine. Arianna can just take your place.”

Vanity broke out into a beautiful smile, “The only girl that’s ever allowed to to take my place.” She rested her hand against my jaw, thumb grazing over my cheek, “I still love you Nikki.”

“I still love you more.”

I let out a sigh, I guess we'll save the coming back home argument for another day.

*A few days later, Vanity’s POV*

“Mommy..” I opened up my eyes, glancing over at the clock and saw that it was seven in the morning, “Daddy’s making breakfast and I don’t want to eat it.”

I chuckled, sitting up carefully and resting my shoulder against the pillow, “And whys that?”

She shrugged, “Cause he’s a poo poo head and he’s being mean to me.”

I stared at her, brushing her messy hair out of her face “Quit calling him that Ari. You know, you’re probably hurting his feelings. He said he was sorry, you’re being stubborn like me.”

“I am not stu-stubborn!” She defended herself as she crossed her arms over her chest and gave me the stink eye.

I grabbed her and put her off to the side as I got out of bed, “Let’s go get ready for school and then you’re eating whatever your dad made.” Arianna crawled out of my bed as she started running to her room, “Am not!!” I followed her and went to her closet to pick out an outfit.

“Get dressed and I’ll do your hair after you eat breakfast.” I repeated myself, “No!!!” I chuckled as her tiny hands pushed me out of her bedroom.

I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen seeing Chef Sixx attempting to flip pancakes, “Ow! Fucking piece of shit!” He shouted as the bacon popped oil onto him as he turned it.

“Need some help?” I asked him as he turned around to look at me, laughing as he did so

“Ha! Yeah right! I’m not letting you anywhere near this until it’s done. I’m not eating burnt bacon or doughy pancakes.” He continued to laugh as he started cracking eggs in a bowl before whisking them.

“I’ve learned to cook.” I mumbled as I sat down on the barstool, Nikki handing me a cup of coffee right after.

“Two sugars and a lot of creamer, right?” He questioned a smile on his face as he held up the spatula. I nodded and took a sip.

“How was the couch?” My lips tugged in a crooked smile as he had an unamused expression on his face.

“It was fine. Would prefer to keep your bed warm. But…it was fine.�� Nikki exasperated, “I had Arianna’s fairy blanket to keep me warm since you didn’t give me a blanket or a pillow.”

I looked at Nikki, taking another sip of coffee “You didn’t ask for anything last night. So how am I suppose to know?”

Nikki scoffed as he turned towards the stove and continued cooking, “Keep it up and you won’t get any of this.”

I shook my head, “Not hungry anyways.” I smiled when Arianna came out into the kitchen, glaring at Nikki as she climbed up on the barstool next to me.

“Well too bad, you’re gonna eat. You’re too skinny still.” Nikki stares as he put a plate of mini blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon in front of Arianna.

“Am not.” I told him as I watched Arianna push the plate away from her, “Are too. Your ass is getting smaller.”

Jeez, thanks asshole. As if I can’t see the weight loss when I look in the mirror.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, “Eat your breakfast Ari so we can finish getting ready.”

She stuck her nose up, turning her head away, “I’m not eating that. It’s gross.”

I sighed, “How would you know that? You haven’t even taken a bite yet. Eat, now.”

“It’s gross cause he made it.” She spoke in a matter of fact type of tone, sticking her tongue out at Nikki, “Can I have cereal? I don’t want it.”

Nikki put a plate in front of me, “Look, I’ll eat mine if you eat yours.” I took a bite of the pancakes, moaning as they were good, “Holy crap.” I started shoveling them into my mouth. We’re they that good? Probably not. But I can’t remember the last time I ate something sufficient.

“Can I have yours?” I looked at Ari as she tried reaching for my bacon until I handed it to her, “Babe, you’re eating the same thing as me.” I chuckled as she took her own little pink fork and took a bite from my pancakes.

“I’m gonna go freshen up.” Nikki muttered as he tried smiling at Arianna who still returned a mean little glare towards him. He frowned before leaving the kitchen.

“You know…you can’t be mad at him forever.” I told Arianna as she started eating off her own plate.

“Yes I can.” She stared at me, “…not nice.” She said, mouth full of sugary syrup and pancakes as I shook my head.

“Daddy’s nice and you know it. You’re not being nice to him, calling daddy mean names and not talking to him. He loves you Ari and he’s sorry for what he did.”

“Fine. No more poo poo head.” She giggled before she continued eating. I kissed her forehead before hopping off the chair. I walked down the hallway, yawing as I headed to my bedroom to straighten up and get dressed for the day.

After the morning routine was over and Arianna was ready for the day, she wanted her hair braided with one of her pink bows at the end of it. I slipped on a pair of shoes and slipped a jacket over my shoulders, wincing at the discomfort of putting my arm back in the sling.

“You could ask for help..” Nikki said, watching me struggle before coming over and helping anyways.

“Thanks.” I muttered, “Ari, you ready to go?” I asked her as she climbed off the couch and grabbed her backpack.

Arianna looked up at me and Nikki, “Will you walk me to my class?” She asked Nikki as he smiled at her before patting the top of her head, “Of course I will.”

When we arrived at her school a little while later, Arianna gave me a big kiss goodbye handing her a pink lunchbox right after, “I’ll pick you up later, okay?” I told her as she nodded and grabbed Nikki’s hand, tugging him towards the doors. I got back in the car, sitting down as I listened to the radio.

I glanced over seeing Nikki’s wallet was dropped on the floorboard. I reached down and grabbed it. I looked towards the doors and chuckled to myself. His wallet was stuffed full of cash. He’s such a hypocrite sometimes. He use to give me crap for always carrying around a lot of loose bills. I looked through his credit cards, he’s gotten two new ones that were a nice shiny black. I smiled at his goofy identification card, seeing him try to force a half assed smile. Nikki also had a guitar pick tucked inside the folds. A piece of paper was sticking out, but I realized it wasn’t a paper it was a picture. A picture of me and Arianna that Nikki had took when we spent the day at the boardwalk.

Through the tinted windows, I saw him coming back outside as I quickly stuffed the picture back in and tossed his wallet onto the seat, “Oh there it is. Thought I forgot it at your place.” Nikki grinned as he put his wallet in his back pocket.

“We have some where to be.” Nikki explained as he started driving away from the school.

I briefly glanced over, “Oh yeah? Where are we going?”

Nikki smiled at me, “You, Vanity Blackwood, have an appointment with your therapist.”

The smile fell from my face, turning into a scowl as I contemplated opening the door and jumping out, “You’re joking, right? Nikki c’mon.” I whined as I slumped back into the chair.

“Told you I was making you an appointment sweets. Did you think I was lying? You’re going and I’m gonna sit in there with you.”

*a little while later*

We sat side by side, knees resting against each other as we waited for my therapist to come in. I had my elbow perched up on the arm of the leather couch as I rested my cheek against my fist, watching the clock tick by slowly.

Nikki’s arm was wrapped around the back of the couch, his hand lightly rubbing my shoulder, “What time does Ari get out of school?”

With a monotone voice, “Three.”

I could heard the deep breath of annoyance as he took his arm and hand away from me and places his hands on his knees as he leaned over and grabbed some candy.

My ears perked up when I heard the door open, “Oh! I didn’t know we’d be having guests today. I’m Dr. Lilian Watson. Vanity, it is so nice to see you.”

“Yep, I’m here.” My voice oozed sarcastic cheer as I rolled my eyes, “This is Nikki.” I motioned to him as they shook each other’s hands.

“Oh…the Nikki. Vanity, I see there’s been some progress. What brings you in? It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you.”

I rolled my eyes at both the therapist and at Nikki, “He’s forcing me to be here

“She needed to come and see you.” Nikki butted in as I shook my head, growing more and more irritated.

Dr Watson adjusted in her chair, pushing her glasses up her nose, “Well Nikki, can you tell me why you think she needs to be here?”

Nikki chuckled, “She dislocated her shoulder last week due to driving under the influence of booze and narcotics. Busted her head open and had a bloody nose as well which is why I’m in New York to help her out but she’s not being appreciative of it.”

“Yeah, I see the sling.” She wrote some things down as I side eyed Nikki, “So, were still using?”

I reached for the bowl of candy on the table, “Not since the accident.” I shrugged and stuffed some m&ms into my mouth, “Incase you can’t tell, I’m being watched like a hawk. But I did stop for a while before then and then continued once I started hanging out with Jason again.”

“Who you shouldn’t even be hanging out with after last time.” Nikki butted in as I glared at him.

“I’m sorry? Are you my fucking husband?” I snapped, watching his eyebrows raise in surprise before turning away from me with a light shake of the head in disbelief.

“What happened last time?”

I groaned, “This was a bad idea.” I mumbled, eyes rolling as I sighed, “Jason got physical with me at the bar and Nikki beat him up for it. But Nikki doesn’t have room to talk when he was off getting high with the wife he was suppose to be divorcing when he should have been with his daughter.”

“I’ve gone to meetings in my free time, Vanity. Unlike you who just sits on this guys dick and gets fucking high!” Nikki fought back as he glared at me.

“I don’t do that!” I yelled at Nikki, feeling myself get worked up and by the smirk on his face, he knew it too.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just relax?” Dr Watson took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I don’t specialize in couples therapy, so Nikki in your opinion, can you tell me where the issues root from?”

Before Nikki could respond, “We’re not a couple actually so you don’t need to use that phrase.” I pointed out, my tone was extremely bitchy as Nikki let out a hushed Wow.

“Oh yeah? So I’ve just been hanging out here and taking care of you and making sure you’re good for no reason?” Nikki looked at me, “Seriously, not a couple?!?”

“Well we aren’t!!!” I fought back, “How could you even think we’re together?! Because we almost fucked that night?! You aren’t my boyfriend and you for sure aren’t my damn husband!”

In a raucous tone, “You and your fucking ten million reasons why! I had to go back! How many times do I have to explain myself?! I didn’t want to go back!”

“Uh maybe you could of told her to fuck off like the countless times you’ve told me to fuck off!” I continued to argue, my voice becoming hoarse from all the yelling, “Cause it’s all about me and Arianna.” I mocked his voice before rolling my eyes

“Because it is!”

I scoffed, “What? For a few more weeks until you find some new ditzy playboy?!”

Dr Watson cleared her throat as I sunk back into the leather couch, “Okay, let’s take a few breaths to get rid of some of this anger.”

Nikki reached for a handful of candy, stuffing his cheeks until they turned pink, “I’m not angry.” He mumbled as I scooted away from him.

“How is Arianna?” The therapist exhaled deeply as she looked at us with a forced smile.

“She’s fine, trying to get used to someone-“ I glanced over at Nikki “being around again. She’s in kindergarten now and is doing wonderful.”

Nikki piped up, “She’s a great kid, takes after her mother so wonderfully well.” He shook his head as he glared at me. I attempted to speak but he continued, “Coke angry Vanity and all of her fuckin tantrums don’t need to show up when Arianna is around. I grew up with a mother who used so I know what it’s like.”

“Yeah Vanitys mentioned a thing or two about you and your own addictions.”

“I am still trying to over come them everyday. I go to meetings, talk to my sponsor. I actually try.”

“And here comes the sob story.”

If Nikki wasn’t angry before I said that, then he sure as hell was now, “Sob story?! Are you fucking kidding me!?” Nikki grabbed the pillow I was holding onto and flung it across the room, “Me almost killing myself is a god damn sob story to you?! Fuck you, Vanity! You should know better than that! Christ sake, you’re apart of that sob story!”

“Nikki, I didn’t-“

“Didn’t mean it?! You never mean anything because you never fuckin do anything wrong, right?! Little miss princess Vanity with all her millions and millions of oil money can do no harm because everything about you is so god damn perfect, right?!” Nikki shouted, making me flinch at his loudness.

“What have I ever done to you? Except fuck Tommy more than once? Fucked Slash? What have I ever done to hurt you?” I questioned him as he stared at me.

“More than once?!”

“You had intercourse with Slash?” Dr Watson seemed genuinely surprised.

Through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw, “You fucked Tommy? Again?! When! You said it was only one time!”

“I-I didnt… I didn’t…”

He arched an eyebrow, “Now you’re gonna lie about it?! Did you fuck him again or not? Tell me right now Vanity.”

“Vanity, it’s alright. Just be honest about it with Nikki. It’s always a smart thing to share your past sexual partners with your current one.”

“I’m not fucking him!” I pointed at Nikki, “I don’t want to touch him and I don’t want him touching me! He probably got some fucking disease from his little wife.”

Nikki was more outraged at the fact I would call him dirty then anything else I’ve been saying, “I am clean, Vanity! Unlike you since you like to hop from dick to fucking dick!”

I smacked his arm, “Don’t talk to me like that!”

“Hit me again Vanity. I promise you won’t like what I do.” Nikki threatened as I almost took him up on it.

“Okay! Okay, stop it!” Lillian raised her voice a tad before clearing her throat, “Vanity, just be honest with Nikki. Nobody is hitting anyone."

“I slept with Tommy when he first came to New York, when he found me. I was emotional and he was there for me. You should be happy he was there for me Nikki!”

He laughed, “Happy?! Happy that my best friend stuck his cock in you?! Why should I be happy that you opened your fucking legs for him again?!”

“So clearly the issues run deep..” The doctor mumbled as I stared at Nikki with tears in my eyes, “I am sorry!”

“Sorry for what exactly?! Sleeping with my best friend? Running from me because of what I did? Sticking a needle into your god damn arm? Or keeping Arianna from me out of spite?!”

“Out of spite? None of this is out of spite, Sixx! None of it!” I cried to him as he shook his head, running a ringed hand over this face.

“Really?! So five years you just couldn’t call or write or fuckin mention we have a kid! Had to find out from coming back here and bumping into you out of luck!”

I looked away from him and at the therapist, “It wouldn’t be hard if he stopped fucking up! Do you know how many times I’ve had to deal with his shit! To pick up the pieces of what he’s done!! Maybe instead of shoving shit up your nose and crying over me like Tommy said you were, you should’ve tried a bit harder!”

Nikki was at his wits end with me, “Tried?! I fucking called your mother every god damn day! I wrote a fucking letter to you only for it to be sent back to the house! Don’t tell me I didn’t try! I would’ve gotten on my god damn knees for you! You were the one that didn’t try! You say I tossed you to the side, no! You fucking tossed me to the side! You left me! You fucking left without a trace! Left everything behind! Everything we had together like I was fucking nothing to you!” I watched him as I saw tears falling down his reddened cheek as he continued yelling his frustrations at me.

“You left me, Vanity. I wanted to fix it. You said it would have been better for us if I had just fucking died when I overdosed. Do you have any clue how that made me felt? How that simple sentence ripped my heart to shreds. I would’ve been satisfied with just your siblings or your mom telling me I was going to be a father. You knew how bad I wanted to be a dad, to have a family with you, to watch you carry my child. You chose to be selfish, Vanity.”

Our eyes stayed locked on one another as we sat in a silence that was choking me, “I’m not selfish.”

“Bullshit Vanity.” Nikki croaked as his tongue stuck out to lick away salty tears at the corner of his lips, “It’s always about you and what you want. You wanted to keep her away from me, you said you could keep going as a single parent not that long ago but I’m sure you would just keep paying Clementine to babysit her.”

“I never wanted to keep her from you!” My soft expression quickly turned into a scowl, “Do not bring Clem into this! She’s done nothing but help me!”

“Clementine practically takes care of her half the time while you’re off doing god knows what, Van! Don’t you see that?! I’d love to see how to it would’ve went if you didn’t find anyone.”

My eyes narrowed at him, “I’d be able to do it by myself! I don’t need you or anyone.”

My eyes stayed glued to his before I looked away when Dr Watson had put her notebook down, “I think we might be done with this session…”

“Yeah. That’s enough.” Nikki muttered as he fixed his shirt and grabbed his jacket from the table.

“Like I said, I’m not a couples therapist. But I think there’s a lot that needs to be uh, mended.”

He laughed, “No shit.” I quickly swatted his side, “Don’t be a dick. Thank you Dr Watson."

“Yeah, Thanks Watson.” Nikki spoke gruffly as we both started walking to the door, the therapist closing it right after us.

Nikki quickly grabbed my hand as he pulled me down the hallway. I saw his head shaking as he mumbled my name and profanities under his breath, “Ow, Sixx.” I winced as his rings were pinching my skin, “You’re hurting my hand.” I attempted to pull away from his grasp, he looked at me before opening up a door and shoving me inside, “What the fuck is your issue?!” I yelled as he flipped on the switch and slammed the door shut, blocking me from leaving even if I wanted too.

Nikki stepped closer to me, “You have a lot of fucking nerve acting like that in there.” I took a step back and bumped into the trash can Before I grabbed the counter of the bathroom to balance myself, “Just sitting there talking shit about Nikki and all the bad things he’s done to you.”

“I wasn’t talking shit!” I argued back, “And you started it! I was ready to have a nice peaceful session but no, you had to go and open your fucking-“ I instantly stopped talking when he closed the distance between us, roughly grasping my chin in the palm of his hand.

“There you go again! Blaming everything on me! Maybe if you weren’t such a fucking bitch I wouldn’t have to be an asshole to you! You ever think of that one, princess!?” Nikki forcefully pressed his lips to mine causing me to wince against the friction. Teeth scraping against my skin as I soon tasted a drop of blood on our lips, with a breath being deprived from my lungs as Nikki wrapped his hand around my throat, lightly squeezing as he did so.

I tried reaching for a fistful of his hair, on instinct alone his free hand captured mine in his as he held it behind my back. My nails scratched and pinched at his hand only for him to tighten his grip around my neck. A shaky, girly moan escaped through my lips as he took a step back, hand still wrapped around my throat as he broke out in an arrogant grin. His thumb traced over my bottom lip, wiping away the blood before he took it away and sucked it off himself.

I wrapped my fingers into his hair, roughly yanking his head down to continue the heated kiss. My tongue ran over his lip, before gently tugging on it with pearly whites. Nikki groaned as he placed his hands on my hips before his fingers found the button and zipper of my jeans. I pulled away from him, shoving his hands from me as I attempted to push my pants down. I let out a yelp before slapping my hand over my mouth when Nikki roughly grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to him, holding brunette strands by the root as he tilted my head back and pressed soft simple pecks to the front of my neck, “Let’s see if you remember who the fuck you belong too.”

The deep baritone of his voice sent chills down my spine as well as heat straight to my core. I tried to kiss him again but he refused to let me. His hand found my throat again, needy whimpers escaping. I followed his lips, mere inches from one another as his nose brushed against mine, “Nikki…” a pleading moan came from me as he chuckled darkly in return. His sage colored eyes were making my skin crawl in the best kinda way, knowing he was planning, thinking some of the most dirtiest things. I let my hands wander, landing on a silver buckle as I undid it and let it hang loosely on his hips.

Nikki backed me up until I hit the sink counter. He towered over me. one hand at the base of my neck, forcing me to keep eyes on him. I felt cold rings running down my body as he pulled the thin blue fabric down from between my legs.. An attempt to squeeze my thighs together due to the coolness failed when Nikki brought an open palm down on my ass. I closed my eyes before looking back up at him.

“Look at those pretty eyes just begging for me. Thought you didn’t need me, Princess?” I frowned at his words only for him to let out a laugh. His middle finger traced over my lip as I welcomed it, letting my tongue roll over the rough pad before sucking on the tip. Nikki added another finger to the mix, middle and ring now as I gave it the same treatment, “Dirty fucking girl.” He smirked in my face as he took his fingers from my mouth and placed them between my legs. My head tried dropping to watch what he was doing only for him to yank me by my hair, “Eyes on me. Only me.”

My lips parted when his fingers skillfully invaded my body, knuckle fucking deep. It was abrupt and sudden when his fingers began moving at a fast pace inside of me, fingers curling at just the right spot. The vulgarity of the sound of his palm slapping against my body bounced off the tranquil and zen picture frames that hanged on the wall.

“O-oh my god.” My voice was reduced to a whimper as he finally let his lips meet mine. I rested my hand on his shoulder, fingers gripping the hem of his shirt as I broke the kiss, “Nikki!! Fu-fuck!” I cried out for him, feeling him push another finger inside of me as he poked and prodded at the bundle of nerves inside of me. My eyes screwed shut, feeling them roll into the back of my head behind closed lids as I felt myself fall off the edge of pleasure.

“That’s it baby. Come apart for me, let me get a fucking taste.” Nikki relentlessly abused my insides until his hand was drenched with sticky wetness. I attempted to regain composure, pushing hair out of my face as I watched him suck and lick his fingers clean. Tattooed fingers engulfed themselves around chocolate strands of hair as he pulled my face towards his, warm and soft lips finding mine.

“Still taste so god damn sweet baby girl.” Nikki moaned as he grabbed me by my hips, roughly pulling me away from him before bending me over the counter, hair tangled in a fist as my cheek laid against the cool tile.

I closed my eyes, attempting to catch my breath as I listened to the sound of a zipper being pulled down followed by a sickening slap against my skin. I chewed on my bottom lip as I brought my head up, “Watch me.” Nikki growled as he yanked my head up a bit more. His free hand was wrapped around the base of his cock, giving long and slow strokes to himself.

My lips parted with a silent moan that never tumbled out as I felt Nikki press the tip to my entrance before pushing in. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I felt him fill me, completely. I noticed his bangs covering his eyes, but I could tell he was looking down at the intrusion of my body.

“O-oh fuck, Van.” Nikki moaned, sliding his cock out slowly slowly before sliding back into me “Fuck me.” He groaned, taking his hand away from my hair and digging his fingers into my hip His pace started increasing as his hips smacked against my bottom, fucking me harder and deeper.

Tattooed fingers found themselves curled over my shoulder, nails roughly scraping at my skin. My hips naturally started rocking into each of his thrusts, feeling my insides clench around his throbbing length. I closed my eyes, moans of his names falling off my tongue. An arm of his snaked around my body with a hand dipping underneath my shirt as he grabbed my tits, finger tips pinching and twisting my nipples.

“You feel so good, Nikki.” I breathed out, feeling his hand twist into my hair again. My neck crained back, his lips press against my forehead as he thrusted into me hilt deep. He moved my hair to the side, pressing rough and wet opened mouth kisses to my shoulder before nipping at the soft and delicate skin.

“You still take my cock so well, Princess. So fucking tight and wet for me. So…fuckin perfect.” Nikki breathed into my ear, nibbling gently as he did so. I turned my head just a bit, letting my lips find his before he broke the kiss and pulled out of me.

Nikki dragged me into a stall, making the door bang against the hinges as he sat down and pulled me over his hips.

“This isn’t sanitary.” I mumbled, “Ow!” A rude and sharp slap against my ass cheek ended all complaints I had.

“…don’t give a fucking shit.” Nikki stated in a husky tone as he gripped my hips, fingers digging into the skin roughly. I wrapped my hand around his throbbing member as I hovered over him, slowly sliding down onto it before I gripped his shoulder.

Pornographic moans fell from both of our lips as he buried himself inside of me. I started grinding my hips into his, feeling Nikki accommodate himself in the most delicious way. Nikki Sixx being the only man to ever do so.

Nikki cupped my jaw, pulling my face towards his as our lips touched in a slow and deliberate kiss. His tongue found mine as I tasted the fruity gum he was chewing on. His hips started thrusting up into me at a slow pace, “You feel that baby?” Nikki broke the kiss, his bright green eyes borrowing holes into mine. I nodded my head in a sheepish manner, “That’s all yours.”

I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder, leaning into his chest as I focused on his movements inside of me. He reached between our bodies, fingers dancing around my clit at a rapid pace. I closed my eyes, feeling myself clench around him. I knew he was close too by the way he twitched inside of me.

“Go on baby, cum all over this fuckin cock. Let me have it.” Nikki’s voice was strained as he tried holding off to let me hit my peak first.

“Nik-“ I moaned loudly, only for Nikki to put his hand over my mouth when the bathroom door opened up. My eyes rolled as he continued to thrust into me at a slower pace, smirking at me when I felt myself cum as I moaned into his hand.

“Shit..” Nikki whispered as he pulled out of me, taking his cock into his hand and giving himself a few rough pumps before he hit his end. I sat in his lap still, watching him jack himself off for a few more minutes until he relaxed onto the toilet he was perched up on.

We both heard the water start running as whoever came into the bathroom was singing to themselves, “Look.” Nikki whispered as he wrote ‘V&N’ on the stall with his own cum. I covered my mouth to keep my laughter in as I shoved his shoulder playfully.

“So romantic.” I mouthed before getting off his lap and pulling up my jeans and panties. I stepped out of the stall, the other woman smiling at me through the mirror as I washed my hands and fixed my unruly hair, wincing when my fingers brushed past my scalp. The women was taking her sweet time as she started checking her make up and fixing her own hair so I decided to leave the bathroom and waited out in the hallway.

My eyes went wide when I heard yelling coming from the bathroom, “Sorry!” Nikki yelled back as he stepped out of the bathroom, glaring at me, “I thought she left! Not you!” He shook his head at me as he reached for my hand.

“So, you wanna grab some food?” He questioned as he held the office door open for me and we stepped outside.

I wrapped my hand around his bicep as we walked to my car, "Yeah, I would like that." I smiled up at him, Nikki lowering his head down to give me a quick peck on the lips.

Nikki helped me into the car, closing it as I was situated. He started driving to wherever he decided to take us. He rested his hand on my thigh as I intertwined our fingers together.

I hope this meant good things were coming for us.

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