#and im like do not ask me to explain how bc fuck if i know

[hella1975]

ur making it pretty hard to not be curious about aftg like what is going on can you infodump ur worst to me

so basically it's about a guy called neil who's not actually called neil bc turns out he's the son of a HIGHLY abusive mafia hitman and him and his mother have been running from this guy for years which ofc means changes in identity and a SHIT ton of issues ranging from good old fashioned paranoia to lighting cigarettes not to smoke them but to let them burn down bc the smell reminds you of your mother's burning corpse. but neil is obsessed and i mean OBSESSED with this made up sport called exy which is like lacrosse but with the violence of ice hockey and he joins a pro-team despite aforementioned ABUSIVE MAFIA DAD AFTER HIM and guess what! the guy who signed him is called kevin and his ex-team are affiliated with the mafia too! including neil's dad! neil just screwed himself over big time! but who cares when you have exy! enter: andrew minyard. andrew is a blonde, 5ft, ex-juvie, under-court-surveillance-for-grevious-bodily-harm goalkeeper currently working unofficially as kevin's bodyguard and, while we never get an actual diagnosis bc god forbid we handle mental health properly in this thing, it's implied that he has some kind of psychosis and, as part of his plea bargain, is legally obgligated to take incredibly mood-altering medication that makes him manic in exchange for being allowed to stay on the team (aka with kevin who he's VERY possessive of), done entirely for the wellbeing of those around him and effectively against andrew's will. does he stick to that deal? fuck no! but it doesn't stop there! andrew proceeds to spend the entire book being as violent and unpredictable and generally cunty as possible in order to figure out What Neil's Deal Is bc neil is capital S Shifty and andrew is convinced he's from kevin's old mafia cult team trying to hurt him. we spend an entire book watching the three of them wrestle between neil's paranoia, andrew's protectiveness and kevin's desire to Please Can We Just Play Exy. there are some keys involved. someone dies. there are two more books. inexplicably two of the characters can speak fluent german purely from high school classes.

#aftg spoilers #just for book 1 but still BIG spoilers lmao #ill also tag this as: #hella reads aftg #bc i told people to block that tag if they didn't want spoilers so it's more likely to be effective #but yeah! arent you so glad you asked gloomy! this is the abridged version! #i genuinely havent even mentioned more of the insane parts bc i couldnt even explain if i wanted to #also i know i touched on andrew's meds here but i actually do have Views on all that and i was NOT getting into that here lmao #also just andrew's mental health as a whole. i could write essays #ask #aftg #the foxhole court spoilers #tfc spoilers #tfc #rereading this is making me laugh bc i come across as such an andrew-anti #as if he hasn't been one of my all time fave characters for six entire fucking years like do you know how hard that is and yet he's there #so just to clarify i am mad at a lot of the things andrew does but im also mad about the court-mandated-medication #and every therapist that gave him some shitty diagnosis and also nora for going down the 'violent psychopath' trope #andrew is a victim of his own books i would give my life for him <3

[otrtbs]

Hello people of tumblr dot com

This is just a reminder that I do not allow any reuploads of Art Heist, Baby! onto any other platform. Art Heist, Baby! lives on ao3 and ao3 exclusively.

Really upset to find out that people who have messaged me privately on here asking to upload Art Heist onto other platforms just went ahead and did it anyway when I politely asked for them to keep my work on ao3. Even after I explained why I wasn't comfortable uploading it to other sites.

I could go into the details of how sites like wattpad are for-profit companies and are naturally inclined to favor whatever makes them the most amount of money even if it's at the expense of writers and I could go into my own issues with those sites capitalising off of writer's creative output/hobby etc. etc. (not to mention the reuploads were not tagged and didn't include chapter warnings at all 🤠) but the point is I shouldn't have to.

You (in a very general but also pejorative sense) should respect my decision to keep Art Heist on ao3. I realize that uploading something to the internet means that I put myself at risk of losing control of my content but come on, y'all. It's in my pinned post and I've told people multiple times to not reupload my fic anywhere else. It's my fic, and my writing, and I don't think it's too much to ask to keep it to ao3.

Anyway, I've already reached out to the people who have posted my fic elsewhere and corrected the issue, but I thought I would go ahead and make it abundantly clear that Art Heist, Baby! is for ao3 and ao3 only in the hopes that this issue doesn't arise again!

#yall i am so tired icl #i am so pro translation/pro spin off/ pro alternate ending #like if you're inspired to work within the ahb! universe do it but jesus fucking christ my one thing #my one request #was to keep my work on ao3 only #also yes hello i promise u all im not ignoring ur asks and dms and things i am just done w this blog at the moment #im only here bc once again PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT #i am angry abt this not gonna lie #esp bc one of the people literally was begging me to put ahb! on wattpad and i explained why i wasn't comfortable with that #and they did it anyway #and obviously this doesn't apply to the majority of yall reading this #and for that im gonna apologise for the harsh tone bc yall are absolute peaches #okay that's all from me atm #peace out girl scouts! #i hope you all are well <3 #art heist baby!

[littlest-nightingale]

Being compared to your abuser bc of autism is fun 🫠

#for context. my sister asks where everything goes every time we put away groceries. even though she knows. #and i needed the olives. so i put them on top of the microwave. and knowing that someone would ask #i was like hey. im putting this up here so (sister) won't ask were it goes and put it away #(bc i do find that annoying but SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE #anyway. apparently this is a horrible offense and I'm being sooo mean to her #im sorry??? what??? #i just explained why i did something i knew my parents would ask about. which makes sense to do. #and apparently im “just like the people who dod that to me” and like. no??? #im not actively making fun of her for entertainment. I'm not hitting her for shits and giggles. i just put up a can of fucking olives. #like. i have autism. i don't know how my tone comes off but i wasn't purposely being malicious??????????? at all??? #and then mom called her over to make me apologize and SHE DIDN'T EVEN CARE. WHY DID YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. #so now im just upset and somewhat regressed and I'm just. why. i guess i said it in a way that my parents thought was malicious but from my #perspective. i was just explaining something and then being compared to my abusers. so thats fun and cool #vent regression

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?' #and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.) #etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh? #and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

[pezpenser205]

if i had a nickel for every time i got an anon criticizing me where i responded willing to believe them, being curious and wanting more resources or details so i can learn, but they go dead silent and never say anything else about it id have 2 nickels which isnt a lot but its really annoying and makes me sad that its happened twice.

#''x is bad'' #ok i wanna believe you but can you give me something to read or explain this to me bc just you saying things isnt something i wanna form- #a strong opinion around. #*silence* #ok! why!!!!! #i feel like if youre coming to someone with information especially an autistic someone then you should be ready to explain what you mean- #-and how you got to that conclusion. like someone saying ''x is a dogwhistle'' or ''x is bad'' doesnt tell me anything. i dont know any- #-more than i did when we first started talking. i just know that this person thinks these things and thats not enough. as an autistic- #-person whos been duped countless times into agreeing with stuff or saying and doing things in conversation that i didnt actually agree- #-with im not just gonna believe everyone. youre on anon and i dont know you. how am i supposed to know i can trust you. i cant. and i want- #-to. thats why im asking for information. i want to know things and i want to get things right but saying 'youre doing x wrong' without- #-telling me exactly why its wrong is a fucking nightmare man. i need to know in excruciating detail in order to change how i think. #its not that i dont ever want to change how i think i just cant trust people and want to know that the information im taking in is accurate #and i want to understand it fully. i cant just know one facet of something. #i dont just see the overarching idea. i see the smaller bits that make up those ideas. if you dont give me history or backstory to work with #i wont see the full idea. despite wanting to. #bleh. #im tired #op

[fleshdyke]

me when cishet men will always have deep rooted misogynistic beliefs and behaviours no matter what

#i mention my hatred of lawns at dinner. my dad asks what i have against lawns despite how much ive talked about it in front of him before. #i tell him that lawns are really environmentally destructive. he says ‘no they’re not.’ i say ‘they are actually’ and try to explain. he #cuts me off and says ‘no they’re not’ again. i give up because i know he’s not going to give me the time of day to listen. he asks what’s #wrong when he notices i got upset as if he did not cause it. #like… i dont fucking care if ur a 50 year old man and im a teenage girl . i know my opinion holds just as much weight as yours. but i also #know he’s never going to truly believe that even if he thinks he does #bc of how deep rooted the misogyny is. i know he’ll never actually value my opinion as much as my brother’s #idk. it’s not like i can do anything abt it really. bc he’s never going to listen to his daughter telling him to change. he doesn’t even #know he’s doing anything wrong bc of how structural the misogyny is. i know i’m never going to be able to dismantle the culture of sexism #but augh. fuck man. whenever im reminded of it im like… god #rambles #vent

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

i gotta beat my brother with hammers ong

#basically. my dad died a month ago and since ive literally handled about 95% of the affairs (mostly financial and settling debts) #and my brother has literally only been responsible for like 2 things. and for those 2 things i literally had to + #call the places and make arrangements bc he was too lazy to do it himself. so even the things hes responsible for I HAD TO DO THE BULK OF I #and also note ive been paying my fair share of the bills like an actual adult yk...i have a job and im paying 80% of my check to bills #but this mf for the past month has been talking DOWN to me like im a fucking idiot like im not handling literally everything #like i was talking to him about what bills imma pay and he started explaining how to pay them in a mad condescending tone...MF I KNOW #then i told him like 'stop talking to me like im a fucking idiot' and he goes 'ill try my best' mad sarcastically #then i get mad and hes like 'what are you so mad about i said i'd try!!!' and i was like 'you cant even say sorry???' #then he did but it doesnt count if i have to ask you to do it yk #idk hes just talking down to me bc im a Female even though ive handled more shit than he has #hes mad hes emasculated ig

[pepprs]

STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️

#purrs #also… im gonna admit it. ive been up for hours cleaning out… my toyhouse accounts. not cleaning them out but cleaning them up. and im so #FUCKING mad at my 18 year old self for giving away characters that meant so much to me to 12 year olds on warriors amino who never finished #their half of the art trade… and now so many of them are like. completely out of my reach and i can never get them back. im trying to ask #for the characters ive been able to find and track them down. which for ppl who actually love and care for them im sure is predatory and #annoying bc it’s like ok you made that choice so live with it. but im so fucking mad at myself and i wish i could undo it. i know it doesn’t #matter bc i don’t do that kind of deviantart stuff anymore but like.. i gave away characters who were so special to me growing up and now so #many of them are like.. on locked / unauthorized toyhouses or deleted or the person already owns them and is never trading them and #imjust so SAD!!!!!! over pixels i know. PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER over pixels. but im so saddddd aughhhhh #delete later #(i also did clean out photos and do practice drivers tests btw. but ive mostly been doing toyhouse stuff) #also im so sad and angry charahub went down and i didn’t even know it and i can’t access my data at allll like so much precious info #on there is gone forever. pain and suffering. also it’s worth naming im not in this to like have the best most expensive whatever designs im #doing this bc i desperately want to salvage every piece of my childhood / adolescence and never let go of anything in my life ever and when #i was 18 i thought i could run away from deeply permanently hurting and betraying a friend by selling all of my characters starting w the #ones they made me and then branching off into baiscally all of them to not make it look like it was just abt them bc i couldn’t bear to be #reminded of what i had done. and now i live with the consequences. in more ways than just the characters obviously. so there’s that #(i had my reasons for doing what i had to do btw. but i will never stop feeling guilty about it or regretting how it must have felt for them #bc we were like best friends and then i turned cold and awful because i didn’t know how to communicate my needs so instead i just shut them #out and didn’t even have the decency to explain why. and it fucking sucked that i did that. lol) #* ​and still sucks. and i think abt it all the time and try not to talk about it for a lot of reasons but here i am so. lol

[hella1975]

listening to call your mom rn (god it feels wrong spelling it like that)

gripping u by the shoulders. this song is everything to me.

#OKAY STORYTIME THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR: #do u guys remember that girl that was basically my bi-awakening and we had the very stereotypical #intense homoerotic friendship that traumatised the both of us? yeah her #well basically i still have a lot of love for her and we're still friends like she's in my hometown friend group so when i talk about them #i still mean her and out of our entire group she's the ONLY one who didn't go to uni and me and my other friend spoke recently #about how unhappy we know she is bc she got abandoned by us in this awful hometown and we dont think she loves her boyfriend #so much as she stays with him bc she literally has no one else until we come home her life is literally just waiting for us between terms #and i worry about her all the time and one thing that happened a while back was she did drugs w this one guy by the river #and she completely whitied like it was just weed but she was 17 and had never done it before and turns out she's like me #where edibles just do NOT agree with her on a good day let alone when she took as much as she did and she was with a random boy #by the fucking WIER (basically a big dangerous waterfall) and we were all at our mate's house that was a 40 min walk away #and she RANG ME. i was the one she rang. that still sticks with me. and omg it was so scary bc she was so out of it on the phone #and all i managed to get from her was that Something Was Wrong (didnt know what) and that we needed to pick her up #so we did. we got on bikes and fucking RACED to this girl and we picked her up and in the end she asked for her mum #and i was the one to take her to her mum and knock on the door and stand there with her daughter's arm around my shoulder #barely conscious her sick on my shoes and explain what happened. like WHAT #& yeah basically i still have so much love for that girl and i know she struggles with shit hence why that even happened in the first place #and it's like. im still here. i still love you. i'll call your mum. i'll come and get you. just ring me and i'll pick up. stay on the line. #so yeah this song did unimaginable damage the first time i heard it. literally gives me chills and transports me to my 17 year old self #we were young and didnt know what we were doing and the town was suffocating us #AND WE WERE BOTH DROWNING AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO SAVE EACH OTHER BUT THERE WAS AN UNDERSTANDING THAT WE WERE DROWNING TOGETHER #ask #noah kahan

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

sitting in bed eating cheese absolutely stewing

#so im doing the dishes and heard a knock on the door right. and bc both my parents r downstairs i answer it #and guess fucking what? its the guy i literally switched out of french to avoid because he kept asking me super invasive questions #so im like What the fuck do u want. and he starts this whole pity story about how he was soooo worried when i kept disappearing from school #and how id sometimes come back with bruises and never explained anything to him so he had 'no choice' but to FIND MY ADDRESS and check in #his words btw. this boy told me to my FACE that me having a private life FORCED him to stalk me to my fucking home #and i just saw RED. good thing is that when i get mad i get icy and brutal so i spent five minutes telling this thick skulled idiot that #he has no right to know anything abt me that i didnt tell him and you know what he does???? #this audacious motherfucker says Lets not do this on the porch. and then tries to push his way into my fucking house. thats a hard no for me #so i told him exactly what was gonna happen: he was either going to get off my property and stay away from me or i would call the cops #and remove him by force. id like to say that i literally said he had ten seconds to leave or id start throwing punches #and he goes .... Cant we just talk abt this 🥺??? so i break his nose. and i was within my legal rights to do so bc he was trespassing soooo #yeah anyways i just cannot fucking BELIEVE the entitlement and audacity of some ppl. like its my fucking life i dont have to tell u shit !!! #what the fuck!!! why do they always think im playong hard to get like ffs leave me ALONE #so that was my night 😙✌️ i hope he dies ! #hollyws

[firelordhotman]

friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet

#i am TIRED. yes this is a vaguepost idc #utter stranger shows up in my notifs DEMANDING i explain a simple little joke tag about me and my loved ones experiences #as if i owe them the slightest ounce of attention in my day #and then when i do explain my & my loved ones lived experiences. they get mad & say im using THEIR personal experiences as a weapon #like. i dont have the slightest clue what your personal experiences are! i dont even know your name!! and i dont want to nor do i have to!! #i dont mean this rudely. but factually: you are not important enough to me to care even a little bit about your experiences #i dont bring up suicide or addiction or any shit like that because its Your experience. bc i have no fucking idea what your experience is #i talk about those things because its MY EXPERIENCE. that IM TALKING ABOUT. in the tags of a post that doesnt belong to either of us no les #this is probably the last thing im gonna post abt this bc i know youre still up my ass looking at everything i post rn #but to finish off. i was never even making a Point about anything in the tag. i wasnt starting discourse about anything. #it was just an Acknowledgement of a shared experience that me and many of my loved ones have. whether u like it or not #like literally i dngaf if YOU personally wouldnt describe your experience that way. We do describe it that way! We can be different #i just made a silly little tag for my friends to see. and YOU decided that you were entitled to both hear my life story and blatantly #misinterpret everything i say about it. like literal 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' type shit #like. saying 'x can cause y' does not mean im saying 'y is literally x' fucking OBVIOUSLY. god #i didnt fucking ask for this! YOU DID!! YOURE the one who DEMANDED it of me unprompted #& clearly must have just gone looking thru the tags of posts for ppl to beef with lollllll #i mean cmon. you didnt follow me i didnt follow you and that wasnt even your post. theres no other explanation lmao its p obvious #anyway i hope u find a better hobby or at least a more fun and fulfilling way to use this website. sincerely #at least get some better critical thinking skills before picking stupid arguments with random strangers online #but hey! play stupid games win stupid prizes<3 right?? #also one final note: to hear someone talking about the lived experiences of them and their real life loved ones and go 'hmm. sounds fake'. #its just giving Friendless. its giving 'how could anyone make fun art without doing crazy drugs!!'. #its giving 'Wait yall have friends irl? i thought it was just a joke'. its fucking hilarious and im gonna think about it forever #thank u for a lifetime supply of laughs godspeed

[silverislander]

i swear to fucking GOD i'm gonna lose it i just realized i have a 12 page paper due in a week and i haven't even picked a fucking topic. i was doing so good this semester too

#just. fuck!! #no matter how hard i fucking try shit like this always happens #im always gonna forget something and fall behind even with a weeks long fucking head start #its so fucking frustrating i cant even explain how mad and disappointed i am with myself rn #ill probably have to ask the prof for an extension and hope hes ok w it. but i truly dont know if he will bc hes really strict on deadline #levi.txt #ever since the strike shuffled the schedules ive been completely thrown off #but honestly this wouldve fucking happened to me anyways it literally always does. every semester smth like this happens #and i cant even fix it bc like. my therapist went through a bunch of ways to study w adhd and i already do/have tried All of them #everything shes mentioned i already know about #im doing as much as i possibly can already and somehow THIS is my best #barring medication that i cant go on and accommodations i cant get

[krispiecake]

currently thinking about how when i told my dad to tell my mother i would not be speaking to her until she apologised she just. straight up stopped even trying to contact me. like, not even a text. absolutely insane how much this woman refuses to admit that maybe she was wrong about how she handles some things. she cannot swallow her pride to even do this one really small basic show of respect. fucking mental.

#like…… i think she said ‘im sorry it came out rude’ right after it happened but. GIRL. #THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGISING FOR AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT. #she knows full well that what she said was inappropriate invalidating triggering and insulting #AND that i have repeatedly asked her NOT to say it over the past few years. #and yet she just says ‘sorry it came out rude’???? like not ‘im sorry i said that’ not ‘i was wrong and insulting and disrespectful of ur #boundries that youve had in place for years now’ #and like she keeps doing this again and again and again with so many fucking things #she just has no respect for my mental health issues or who i am or like just me as a person #its near constant. shes always subtly calling me dramatic and ridiculous and telling me that im stupid and that its all my fault #but the moment i try to bring up anything like this to her just just yells #and goes ‘oh i get it im a horrible mum well i tried my best and i put in so much work’ ect ect ect #like i was sharing with her biosocial theory and how i think that bcause we have never different ways of regulating out emotions #it meant i was never taught to do it properly/in a way that works for me and that combined with my autism and my trauma likely led to my bpd #and when i tried to explain that it wasnt anyones fault its just that we’re different ppl and there was no way she couldve knows #she was like ‘ohhhh so its MY fault? hm? I’M the reason youre like this!?’ #and she looks down on me so fucking much for my ed and for sh and really just for any symptoms i show bc #why cant i deal with things properly like HER. #idk its so exhausting like i just want a proper apology from my own fucking mother but no. #shes doing the exact same thing that she berates and mocks and looks down on me for. #ugh i feel like screaming

[skeletxr]

.,

#you know i also forgot how extremely dysphoric gynocology offices make me #especially since its so busy and like #every person waiting is such a feminine pretty ~woman~ #and everything here is like WOMAN!!! WOMANLY CHECKUPS!!! HAHA WOMEN FEMALE AM I RIGHT #UPDATE HERE so i dont annoy or sound like im trying to do this on purpose #tumblrs just my journal w an audience JFNJD #idk why i was worried as bad my gyno is so great she explained #estorgen and progesterone when youre not on any hormonal balance meds vs when u are #laughed over her absolute suprise that i have a low cervix she was like OH. #so fuck you the BAD ex who said i had something wrong w my vagina bc how DARE i find penetration uncomfy!!! #at least now i know why!! now i know why tampons/cups are a pain fornme #its so good to get yhat validated #i already knew #anyways im real excited for this nuvaring im very much looking forward to my hormones balancing out #also i lost a lot of weight?? dunno if thats a good thing since i hardly been eating sijce february LMAHFDAO #the nurse was funny as hell when she asked if i smoke insaid ' #not cigarettes and she was like OH you smoke mary jay? alright ill say you smoke mary jay #an absolute delight #hated the fucking torture device tho it was more painful than last time fjdjjcjf #text