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#and if they're weak people than how are they ever going to beat their dad?
clowndensation · 1 year
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thinking about connor in prague saying "dad's theory was you got two fighting dogs, you send the weak one away, you punish the weak one." in relation to this episode, and the way the siblings view abuse inside their own family.
shiv and kendall and their belief that connor and roman are the weak dogs that got the brunt of logan's worst behavior, because abuse is reserved for the kids who can't behave - the ones who aren't smart and mature enough to make it in the world. abuse evokes pity, because abuse is what happens when you expect too much from people who obviously aren't capable of more.
and then they go forward in life, believing that they're just naturally more intelligent and more capable than connor and roman, as if being raised seeing what happens to you if you aren't a perfect child wasn't the entire point of the "punish the weak dog" mentality that logan instilled in them. the looming threat implied behind any praise they do receive that tacitly tells them "you're not like roman and connor" because everyone knows what happens to roman and connor.
the absolute height of the rich capitalist mindset. "we're succeeding because of our own merit, and other people fail because they don't have what it takes" when in reality they're succeeding because of arbitrary rules made up by someone who knows that infighting makes meaner dogs.
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chemdisaster · 11 months
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cat dad au fic! in which kitten comforts scar. few things you need to know for context - "the isaacs" is a silly name scar gave to the heroes who would bully him, kitten uses a bunch of neos, of which i'm using xit/xitself in this fic, and for a few years when scar first found kitten he was under a lot of stress with work and they both had a bad time. that is all
"I like this one." 
Scar hums as Kitten hands him another picture. In this one, the two of them are dressed up as Hotguy, both laughing as a tiny Kitten points a fake arrow at his chest. Touching his finger to the cascading reds and oranges, he inhales the smell of memories and watches the echoes flash by. 
"I have captured you, Hotguy! Give up if you know what's good for you!" 
"No! Never! You won't catch the tail end of my whiskers, Catguy!"
"Not if I use my special bow! You're dead, Hotguy! I will capture you and I'll—"
As joy rings out in the silent air of reminiscence, a smile warmed with time spreads on his face.
"Yeah. I like this one, too."
Carefully setting the photograph aside, Scar moves on to the next one. With Ari out this afternoon, he and Kitten spontaneously decided to clear out some old boxes—and the nostalgia is hitting like nothing else. 
Surrounded by various papers and bundles and scraps, they sit side by side on the floor of his room and exchange quiet comments as they pass around mementos of years past. The atmosphere is peaceful, hushed, and looking from the tiny kitten on the photographs to the grown up cat next to him, Scar can't help but marvel at how long it's been. 
He never thought he'd get here. 
Stifling a laugh into his palm over the picture of small Kitten with a rubber fish and a beard of foam, Scar adds it to the growing collection. Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, he looks over at Kitten—
And his heart skips a beat. 
Centred in Kitten's padded hands is an assortment of crumpled papers, familiar as anything Scar wouldn't like to recall. Delicately smoothed out and held together with years old tape, the grid pattern has faded away, but he doesn't need to see the scribbles to immediately recognise them and everything that came with.
 
Art of Kitten that xit was never meant to see jumping at him from the frayed scraps, Scar asks, "Are those...?"
"Hm?" Kitten makes a noise that's more cat than anything. "Oh, these? Yeah, you—you drew them for me, didn't you? I remember I kept finding them in your bag."
"Yeah, I remember you kept going through my things like a nosy feline," Scar jokingly gripes. His grin thins at the edges, "I—I do remember these, yeah."
Drawing on patrols, sketch after sketch to block out the mocking, the insults—getting the drawings ripped from him and torn into tiny pieces right in front of his eyes. Sinking to his knees and cradling the pieces in his hands, tears littering the floor.
He kept them as a reminder of his failures. He never thought they would ever become anything more.
"Why were they torn?" Kitten asks after a while of Scar silently staring at his lap. "Did you not like them?"
Scar doesn't reply. Kitten knows about the mistreatment his old team would put him through, but somehow it still feels shameful, even after all these years, to acknowledge that it happened. That he let it happen, and let it go on for as long as it did because he was too weak to stand up for himself. 
Too bad to realise how that weakness was impacting the people around him.
"Scar."
"I did like them," he says suddenly, vehemence splitting from his tongue. "I liked them so much. It's just, I would always draw on missions and I'd get distracted and, well," Scar shrugs, smiling like it's all right past the bitter lump in his throat, "the Isaacs didn't like that."
"Oh."
He doesn't know why it means so much to him. They're only drawings. Stupid doodles of Kitten to chase away the self-loathing that never really left. They're not even good. And yet here he is, decades past and still getting emotional over things that don't matter. It doesn't matter.
He doesn't matter.
"I thought you were the one who tore them," Kitten blurts out. "I thought you didn't like them, and that's why you tore them. I," he breaks off, his tail curls around his legs. 
"Back when I was a kid, I thought it was because you didn't like me."
Guilt grips Scar's chest. All those years ago, when Kitten would curl up in front of a closed door—the drawings were an attempt at something good. To show him how much he appreciated him when words wouldn't come. And he ruined that, and now he's ruined what was meant to be a simple cozy afternoon.
He ruins everything, he's always known. Somehow it still hurts.
 
.
.
.
.
.
Kitten is worried about Scar.
Has been for a while now, and the torn drawings are only the start of it.
The few years during which little bits of tape would stick to his claws were hard on them both, and even years later xit can't stop the cold dark grey of abandonment from creeping up when xit thinks of that awful time. Staying up late waiting for Scar to come home, only to fall asleep and wake the next day to an empty flat—it was soul-sucking.
But he healed. He's not there anymore. Lately, he's not so sure about Scar.
A good few minutes pass before xit decides to speak up.
"It was really hard for you back then, wasn't it?"
Focus sinking into nowhere, Scar jerks as he breaks out of his daze. 
"Huh, what?" 
"Those first few years. When it was just you and me. Taking care of a child while working the way you did at the time can't have been easy," Kitten probes. He doesn't expect anything but the deflection he's come to know, and he wishes Scar would be honest with him. 
He wishes Scar would be honest with himself. 
"Well, I mean—there were some rough patches, yeah," his friend stammers out. "But—"
"You would cry yourself to sleep."
Scar's head shoots up, the dark bags under his eyes never seemed more prominent.
"I heard. Every time."
He looks down, "I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologise," Kitten says quickly. "Just...we keep talking about what it was like for me, yeah? But we never talk about what it was like for you."    
Abruptly, Scar gets up and walks over to the bed, sitting down, rocking back and forth as he pulls his sleeves over his fingers. 
"It's—it doesn't matter. I'm okay now."
Kitten follows, clambering up next to him and peering past the curtain of brown hair at the face hidden beneath. 
"I'm not sure you are."
Scar's expression crumples for a split second.
"Don't worry about me, Kitten," he says. "I'll—it's not your job to look after me."
Kitten scoots closer, xits tail lays itself over his back. Scar doesn't speak and xit doesn't either; words are difficult and xit's content to sit here staring at the old wallpaper, making out dirty kitchens and wine-stained floors in the peeling vinyl. Stillness can hold all the sentences within its grasp, he's learned—he'll never ask for more than what the quiet can give him.
Outside, damning clouds begin to gather as a shuddering inhale stumbles its way out of Scar's lungs.
"Sometimes it felt like it was all for nothing."
The confession breaks the silence, but does not break the gentle swishing motions of Kitten's tail against his spine. 
"It was just—so difficult," he continues, letters spilling out of his mouth like an avalanche of wretched revelations. "Nothing was working. I spread myself thin every day and I still just constantly felt like I was doing it for nothing. And I'm—I'm sorry."
Scar's hands thrust upwards, he trips over another inhale. 
"I tried so hard to do what was best for you and I just ended up hurting you—every time. And I just," he bends his head, swipes at his eyes, "maybe I'm not meant to be good. Maybe it would be better if I just...wasn't."
His features twist, eyebrows inching higher on his forehead; he looks devastated, wrought with grief for what could have been, what he should have been and everything he never was. Decades of regret play in the creases of his skin as he tugs on his hair, blinking rapidly in the way he always does—the way that always fails. 
Kitten was never one for words, but in this moment he thinks that maybe what he struggles to give is what Scar needs. He needs to exist, and touch not meant to hurt can only do so much.
Stillness can hold all the sentences within its grasp, but phantom promises won't stitch up an age-old wound.
"Scar, you did—so much for me," xit says, and Scar's back jumps in a tremor. "For so many people. I wouldn't be here if you weren't."
Eyes squeezed shut, the other emits a low noise, "I hurt you." 
"You talked to me and gave me drawings and found me a therapist. You did more to help than anyone else ever could."
Scar shakes his head, shakes it like Kitten's words are incomprehensible, impossible to believe, and maybe they are. Leaning forward, trembling hands lifting to press to his chin, he curls in on himself, shoulders hunching like a plea—a plea for Kitten to stop saying things that he can't, won't let himself believe are real.
Kitten does not relent. 
"Look, I know you have this fear in you that you'll hurt anyone you rely on but that's not true. You deserve support, that's what we're here for."
"No, I—these are my own struggles, and I—I can deal with it—" 
Scar's voice bounces up like marbles off the wooden floor; the tears he's desperately wiping off his cheeks render his assurances anything but genuine. Clouds descending in the streams of his despair, he's never looked more damaged.
"You took care of me for so long," Kitten says softly, reaching out for a man who won't let himself accept that love never had to be earned. "Let yourself be taken care of, too."
As his friend continues to shake his head in denial, he thinks of a rainy evening, a door left ajar, a room filled with muffled sobs—and he thinks of two friends, both hurt by the world, both having found healing within each other. 
"I like your ears. Remember?"
Scar slumps, defeated. Loud, uncontrollable weeping tears through him like a wildfire and Kitten pulls him close, rubbing a clawed hand over his back, muttering, "Relax. You don't have to be strong all the time."
Raking his claws over quivering vertebrae, listening to choked cries get suppressed against his rumbling chest, he leans back against the blankets and pulls Scar with him, carding thin fingers through long brown strands as his friend settles, trembling, atop his body. Scar's hands are freezing cold, the wire under his feet looms ever farther down below— 
And Kitten knows in this moment that all that he needs is for someone to make sense of him. And xit knows that, finally, xit understands.
And when Scar drapes himself over xit in an instinctual, unguarded yearning to be near, xit drops xits head into the crook of his neck and doesn't look up and begs that this moment would never end. Kitten's heart may not shine, but he would give all the gold in his possession to mend the cracks of Scar's tainted soul.
And as he drifts to a doze with his friend in his arms, he thinks back to the torn drawings—taped together, hidden away as something to be treasured. And xit thinks, maybe broken doesn't have to be forever. 
Under Kitten's hold, for the first time in years, Scar starts to believe that maybe everything he did wasn't for nothing.
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deadprompts · 6 months
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𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽 𝟺 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂.
content warning applies. change any pronouns / wording if necessary.
i don't make decisions anymore.
come down here. we need to talk.
if you understand what it's like to have a daughter, then how can you threaten to kill someone else's?
look, we can settle this.
there's enough room for all of us.
honey, you’re weak.
you take one sip before those meds get in our people, i will beat your ass into the ground. you hear me?
i hereby declare we have spaghetti tuesdays every wednesday.
when you care about people, getting hurt is kind of a part of the package.
it's not a farming hat.
liar.
i still believe there’s a reason.
i know you look at me and you just see another dead girl.
why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people?
seems to me like things are finally starting to fall together.
we all have our jobs to do.
just so you know, i liked you first.
you never let me win anyway.
you don't think it'll hold?
when can i have my gun back?
the only thing you can choose is what you’re risking it for.
i don't want to be afraid of being alive.
i think you made the right call.
sooner or later, you gotta make a move.
at the camp, it just got worse and worse.
i know we all can change.
how many people have you killed? why?
first we have to find some spaghetti.
it was a nice watch.
we'll make it.
come on, let's play.
what do you want me to say?
i was just another monster.
any requests? books? comics? some stale m&ms?
i think we should make some new rules before they get back.
it was all of us.
look at us, digging through drawers.
we don't need to take any chances.
you should have seen him back in the day.
he told me all i had to do was believe, and that's what i'm gonna do.
you either live with them, or you don’t.
we can all live together.
time for you to leave, asshole.
anger makes you stupid. stupid gets you killed.
i mean, what the hell is going on in this cabin?
i'm a pirate.
you didn't wake me up.
best not waste any more time.
so you want to spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes? screw that.
how many walkers have you killed?
was there ever a time you weren't the boss of me?
you're the one that likes stale m&ms.
some council meeting, huh?
is this what you want?
he's too loyal to bounce.
you walk outside, you risk your life. you take a drink of water, you risk your life. nowadays you breathe and you risk your life.
i killed two people and you haven't said a word about it.
you're gonna have to learn to live with the love.
we’ve all lost someone.
we've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive.
you're a tough son of a bitch.
i don't know how to talk about it.
what we want is what you got. period.
i can make these people feel better and hang on a little bit longer.
was your dad mean?
so you tell me how in the holy hell did you possibly kill this truck?
she'll need a safe place when it comes.
now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates you're one of us.
everybody makes it until they don't.
you can be a farmer, but you can't be just a farmer.
there are some things you don’t come back from.
we're not too far gone.
they're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out.
if you wanna live, you have to become strong.
you're gonna miss me so bad when i'm gone.
where should we go?
you're a tough son of a bitch.
i'm gonna be honest, i forgot about you.
it's not about what you say.
hey. i know it's been a while.
i'm never going to let anything happen to you, okay?
i don't want it!
why would you want my help?
we care about you.
don't look back.
probably best not think too much about it.
did you have kids?
everything we've been working so hard to keep out, it found its way in.
he made it through the night.
we don’t get to be upset.
i think it was the humane thing to do.
i can save lives, that's reason enough to risk mine.
a sad soul can killer quicker than a germ.
we just went through something terrible.
that's the guy you want to capture.
what i’m picking up is, murder is ok in this place now.
you do a lot for us. for the kids. you sacrifice a lot.
what the hell are you gonna do now, sport?
they're fucking with the wrong people.
we can live here for the rest of our lives.
it was a real treat, sir.
you can’t keep me from it.
he seems stable enough for me to get some air.
i still think there’s a plan.
is there anything you wouldn’t do for the people here?
they wanted to go out together same as they lived.
but i made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid.
i'm sorry. i'm not very good at making boys your age laugh.
your place or my place?
do you think we can make it?
it was stupid. i was so stupid.
i'm just tired of losing people.
that's what my daddy used to say.
did you think it was right?
you have to have numbers. people are the best defense against walkers or people.
i'd be honored to shake your hand.
you fight it. you don't give up. and one day you just change.
you gonna help us figure this out?
i screwed up too many times.
i'm gonna take a group out.
still, it is survival of the fittest.
he's a lying sack of shit.
the whole world is haunted now.
i've been afraid to get my hopes up thinking we can actually stay here.
i have to talk you all in to doing something i know we need to do.
end of the world don't mean shit when you got a tank.
he’s already given me fleas.
i tied the door shut.
they could have gotten hurt.
we get to come back.
see, going it alone, that ain't an option nowadays.
i think it’s my job to try.
smells good.
everybody loves a hero.
look, i fought him before.
i've survived and you don't get it 'cause i'm not like you or them.
you don't have to like what i did, just accept it.
if you don't have hope, what's the point of living?
you can't think forever.
you guys got separated?
you don’t have a choice.
you can lose a lot of soldiers but still win the game.
all this time you've taking off, you earned it.
it could work, you know it could.
whatever else this place needs, i'm here for it.
when i fell on my ass, they should have just left me out there.
she didn't have a mean bone in her body.
the walkers didn't see me anymore.
i knew you were up all night reading comics with a flashlight.
we wouldn't be here without you.
that's what it always comes down to.
man, what happened here?
those douchebags in the vines took themselves out, holding hands, kumbaya-style.
we go in, kill them all!
i could use a vacation.
today, we're talking about knives. how to use them, how to be safe with them, how they could save your life.
wasn't much use without my gun.
i just want to say thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday.
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ihatebnha · 2 years
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In typing this in the shower and just had a shower thoughtr
I feel like bakugo is the type to make sure his children work for their things, sorta like tough love. Maybe less than that because the still spoils them completely no matter the age.
However, if his kids wanted to become a hero, he makes his kids work for it, no letters of recommendation or no easy bypass to the entrance exam to attend UA. Makes them fight the robots or whatever new shit they have each year.
I like to think to myself sometimes of when he comes to help train the newer UA students as #2 and the disciples think he's going to go easy on his child, but he never does. Treats their ass just like how he would treat a villain. Maybe he'll go a little harder on them, but it's all for them to push themselves to achieve their goal for becoming the best
Yet, I think he would let them internship at his agency.
Praying to God you didn’t get electrocuted after sending this… though I’m not gonna hound you too hard about it, because I am so OVERJOYED you did. I literally adore it so. Sorry I ended up making it a bit more soft, though...
(warning: you're called mom w/ she/her pronouns)
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Bakugo absolutely makes his kids works for things. Not because he doesn’t want to help or praise them in any way he can (because let’s be real, that’s literally the only thing he EVER wants to do)… but because he doesn’t want them to end up like him, with crippling superiority complexes or debilitating perfectionism.
Like, working at his agency is one thing, because they're already trained and he worked with Shoto at Endeavor's (and hires other students because of such)... but feeling like he paved the way for them would go against every single one of his morals about how "being the best" even works...
All things considered though, it probably works out because your kids DO end up like him, in the sense that… they don’t really want his handouts either. Growing up with a dad like him has just made them wanna work harder to do things by themselves, because if he were to simply give it to them… it would feel as though all their achievements were invalid or fake. So even if they did/do get into UA via recommendation (without the help of Bakugo, ofc), they’d still turn down the offer just to prove it on their own.
(Which is great because it honestly takes the load of saying no off of him… and you can still celebrate the achievement without it being weird.)
It’s funny, though… because I bet almost everyone expects the opposite, almost like “oh no, here comes the Bakugo kids about to show off the fact that they’re better than everyone. Oh, and look who’s training today, their dad🙄” 
Except, what their fellow students quickly come to realize, is that 1. your kids are extraordinarily humble and kind, and 2. they literally WANT their dad to beat their ass in training LOL… and when it’s their turn for tips, the whole training session turns into just… this cuss-filled bloodbath. Either they spend the whole time arguing about how he’s NOT going hard enough on them… or call him weak because he’s using more defensive moves meant to protect than offensive one meant to hurt (Because outside of special cases like exams, Bakugo would never harm ANY kid, esp. his own).
It probably gets really scary for everyone not involved LOL because they assume it means that things are like this at home, too??? Only to find out, once everything is all said and done, Bakugo and your kids are probably super cheesy and soft with each other (all, “did I do good, dad?” + “Oh yeah. Fucking excellent. I can’t feel my feet” + “you’ll tell mom, right?” + “it’s gonna be the only thing she hears about all WEEK”) while leaving for the day.🥺
-
And just bonus, it's making me kinda gooey to think about your kids in school. People are probably either terrified or annoyed by them at first... only to actually talk to them and be like "oh. They're SO nice" because you and Bakugo made sure they were... AND all they do is talk about how annoying he is instead of praise him.
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rhinestonerainbow · 2 years
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Are you tired of my Murdoc/Hannibal content yet? Then you shouldn't read this, I'm afraid. Also, TW for child abuse (per default)
Hannibal had heard the strangled, painful cries of his little brother the minute he had stepped foot into their so called "home". It always felt so cold and distant to him, which also came from the darkness within it. He sighted deeply, quickly took his jacket and boots off, and then made his way into the living room. His dad had pinned his little brother down on the floor, belt threatingly in the lifted hand, about to go down on his weak, small body any second. Not with Hannibal though. He grabbed his father's wrist, noticing the surprised tone that came from the old man "What do you think you're doing?" He slurred, voice laced with the alcohol he had consumed in the past hours. "Don't you think he's had enough?" Hannibal asked "Look at him! He's crying and trembling! Last time you beat him up this bad, he couldn't sit for two weeks! Leave him alone, he's done nothing wrong"
Sebastian chuckled darkly, but did let go of Murdoc, who used the opportunity to dash into his room and close the door knowing, that there wasn't a safer place for him right now, then under his bed. Then, the man, still grinning, freed his wrist and turned around to the older Niccals boy "Well, it's an easy deal." He said, shrugging almost carelessly "If you don't want that little maggot of brother to take the blows with the belt that he deserves for knocking over my beer, you're going to have to take them for him. You surely understand that, don't you?"
His father asked, nasty grin ever so present, and Hannibals insides mingled with disgust. He couldn't leave his little brother to Sebastian, not with how vulnerable the boy was. So, the young adult sighted deeply "Then bring it on, old man. I'm used to it, anyway"
About an hour later, Hannibal made his way to Murdocs room, hissing quietly with every step. He knew he was bleeding, he could feel the blood running down his back, but that wasn't important right now. Murdoc was important. He knocked at the room door first, and, receiving no answer, stepped inside. "Hey, little toad" He said grinning, sitting down next to the younger boy who crawled out from under the bed where he had hidden. "Does it still hurt a lot?" Murdoc asked, tone laced with worry and guilt "Nah. It didn't in the first place." "I'm sorry that this happened to you because of me" The mismatched eyes of the boy looked aside, and Hannibal hated when his brother felt so guilty, so responsible for the actions of a man like their father. "Well, that's what a big brother is for, isn't he? And it's not your fault that our father is like this. At least I can protect you every once in a while"
Hannibal grinned slightly, showing his crooked teeth, but he was somewhat proud of helping his younger brother out like this. Even if it wasn't much, and it didn't always happen, the relieved look on his little brothers face made it all the more worthwhile. He could've just chosen to ignore it, he could've ignored the little maggot, but he remembered how it had felt, when Sebastian had beaten him up, with no one near to help him, no one caring, no one saving him. Murdoc had someone that could help him, and Hannibal would've been damned if he wouldn't have provided that help. "And now?" The small voice asked "Now we wait until dad has drunken enough to pass out. And then... I don't know, little toad. I really don't" He mumbled with a sigh, shrugging slightly. "There's a talent competition again on Saturday." Murdoc casually mentioned, making his brother look up "And? At least you actually have talent. That's more than most people there can say"
But that wasn't what Murdoc had wanted to hear, and he let out a frustrated groan "But not if I'm in a ridiculous costume! On a stage, that I don't want to be on! With people that look at me like they're going to eat me alive any second now! I don't want to take the stage because someone tells me to take it, I want to take it on my own because I want to! And because I'm famous. Maybe"
At that, Hannibal chuckled and poked his brothers cheek "I'll tell you what. You're going to make it big, one day. Crowds are going to shout your name. And you're going to be on a stage, because you want to be"
At that, the smaller Niccals chuckled "You're stupid. That's never going to happen" He shook his head and a comfortable silence settled between the brothers. Sometimes, not all was bad. Sometimes, there were good moments. And sometimes, life was almost enjoyable for both of them.
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allamalad · 2 years
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CONNER HOLT BACKSTORY TIME
I finally wrote it lol
Conner was a boy who seemed to have a pretty happy life despite having his mother die to a disease at a young age. He lived with his father who was a biochemist, someone who studied the world of DNA and the chemical transformations and processing in living creatures. Conner seemed to be a bit interested in this too, so he could help people not get sick like how his mom had. He wanted to be a doctor, and ever since he was young conner's father delicately helped him down that path.
However as Conner was raised his father noticed something odd, his son never seemed to get sick. Now usually as a child grows it occasionally catches small bugs, but they eventually get better and this strengthens their immune system. But Conner never had this problem, somehow it was like his immune system had seen every pathogen already. Like any scientist would do his father wanted to experiment, though he was hesitant due to it being his own child. However this wouldn't last long, eventually he began to take blood tests from his son. Now due to this beginning at such a young age Conner got use to it, he found it as normal to get a needle stuck in his arm to get some blood taken every other week or so. Meanwhile his father would try to examine his immune system's cells, trying to find this oddity. See if he figured out whatever was causing this to happen, whether it be a genetic mutation or an acquired trait from when he was young, Conner's father could help so many people. However he needed more to test, he needed to figure out what was causing this. Tests became more frequent.
One day Conner went over to his dad and tugged on his sleeve, looking up at him with his mismatched eyes. One blue from his father, while the other was a dark green hazel from his mother.
"Papa I'm starting to feel tired a lot.. I can't play anymore.."
He mumbled quietly, looking up at his father with confusion. Conner's father didn't even look over from the dishes he was working on, he didn't even answer right away. He simply replied.
"Don't you want to help people, Conner?"
The young boy frowned slightly, but nodded.
~~~~~
As Conner entered high-school he still lived a manageable life, he even got to go to a prestigious school thanks to his father working as a biochemist teacher. People would question the bandages on his arms and legs but he would simply reply that it was for medical purposes. That somehow with the damage that was being done to his body, he would help change the world. Most of the time people would nod and walk off, but some took it as a chance to take advantage of him.
There were bullies that would slam him into lockers and shove him down stairs, knowing he couldn't fight back due to his weakness. They would call him things like "lab rat" and "mummy boy" while beating him on the floor.
Of course he brought this up to his father and he found it unacceptable, whether it be because they were harming his child or that they might mess up his experimenting, his father took this up to the principal. Sadly however, the parents of the other children would say they're just playing or that it's an accident, most likely using money to sway their side. It was then here that Conner's mental health started to decline, developing anxieties that added onto his distraction in class. He'd fear that at any moment he would get gut punched or get dragged to the bathroom and have his head shoved into the toilet. However Conner would soon come to prefer these events than to what was going to happen to him.
One day Conner was calmly working in his dad's empty classroom, doing homework in a safe and quiet environment. Due to the door locking he felt safe, and was actually able to focus. His dad had been working in there as well, he was just temporarily out to get something from the office. However this silence came to an end when there was a quiet rattling at the door. Conner looked over to see that the doorknob was being juggled, and then watched as it twisted open. His eyes widened as he saw that it was the bullies from before Trayden and his companions.
Conner attempted to yell out for his father but he was quickly grabbed, a cloth was shoved into his mouth to keep him quiet. He attempted to squirm as he was held down onto one of the desks, desperately hoping that his father would hear the movement. Tears formed in his eyes as he attempted to shout, scream, anything, but all that came out was muffled sobs. Trayden slowly approached him after searching through the back closet, there looked to be a plastic bottle in his hand.
"You know.. your eyes have always annoyed me, they don't match the rest of your face you know? One brown and one blue, huh? I always thought it was stupid."
He slammed the bottle down next to his ear, frightening Conner with the loud noise.
"Just like how you thought you could get away with being a little fucking snitch."
His companions laughed at his statement, continuing to hold down Conner's attempt at escape.
"So I'm going to do you a favor, its nothing big, I'm just gonna make sure your face matches your eyes-"
One of the bullies seemed to be a bit confused as Trayden said this, he looked at him before looking at the container that read 'hydrochloric acid' his smile seemed to falter as he connected the dots.
"Hey wait man I thought we were just gonna punch him, not pour chemicals on his face-"
"-SHUT UP AND HOLD HIM DOWN!"
He snarled, the other boy nodded nervously and continued to hold down the thrashing limbs. And with that Conner's sobs were quickly cut off by attempted screams of pain, stifled by the cloth in his mouth. The other bullies grimaced as they looked at eachother, they silently agreed to let go. They swiftly grabbed Trayden before he could finish pouring out the contents onto conner's face.
"Come on man let's go before Mr.Holt gets back-"
And with that he was dragged away. The bottle fell onto the floor as Conner collapsed onto his knees. He spat the cloth out and screamed for help, all he could feel is immense pain moving deeper and deeper into his skin. It felt like fire was seeping into his body, he couldn't take it. He finally fell to the ground, curling up into a ball as his cries got weaker and weaker. He knew he was supposed to wash it off with water but he couldn't move, he couldn't think, all he knew was pain. The last thing he remembers as his vision started fade was his father desperately calling out his name.
"CONNER!!"
~~~~
A week later Conner was allowed to leave the hospital with light bandaging, luckily he wouldn't get a hole in his face thanks to the successful stitching, however it still left a massive mark. He had to get some teeth removed due to the acid seeping through to his gums. He had been saved, but at what cost? The usual shine of hope was gone from his eyes, the thought that even though his body was weak that he would help people in the future. All that remained in his look was a dull stare, seeming to be stuck in his thoughts. Almost as if he was reliving that event in his head over and over again, knowing that if he had been stronger he could have helped himself.
Beginning yet another day of school he saw that that trio had disappeared, most likely suspended. Conner silently hoped that they had been removed from the school but he knew that wasn't true. People saw that he was back, they'd attempt to say hi and ask "what happened" or "are you okay" but Conner wouldn't answer, he simply gave them an empty expression before going on with his day. Trayden would make his return but lacked his minions, so his attempts to bully were a lot less extreme. After another week or so he finally seemed to have had enough.
~~~~
Once Conner had got home from an agonizing day at school he went over to the usual chair that his father drew his blood from. He sat down quietly and held out his arm as his father got the tools ready. His blank stare continued until he had a thought, shown by his eyes slowly moving to the scalpel on the tray. Something told him that he should do it, end the thing that caused this in the first place. It wasn't exactly words, more so of a feeling that told him to do it, almost like an instinct.
Suddenly conner's free arm moved to grab the sharp item, and proceeded to stab it into his father's shoulder. Why didn't he go for the neck? Perhaps it was a subconscious move. His father yelled out in pain and stepped back, ripping out the tool from his shoulder. Meanwhile Conner lept out of the seat and ripped the syringe out of his arm. He looked over at his parent, attempting to stop the bleeding with his hand. They locked eyes as they didn't speak, not even needing words to realize the situation. Finally his father had realized what be had been doing all these years, but it had been far too late. Conner swiped the tool off from the floor and ran, grabbing the pair of goggles that his father had made for him when he was younger.
"CONNER!! C-CONNER WAIT!-"
He could hear his father yelling out as he grabbed things from his room, shoving them into his bag before exiting. He ran for the front door, and thar was when Conner looked back at his father. After such a long time Conner finally had something in his eyes, an emotion, a feeling. However this was no feeling of forgiveness or hope, this was a look of hatred and disgust. He slammed the door behind him before running across the street and into the luscious forest.
His father burst out from the door, looking around desperately for his son.
"CONNER PLEASE!! IM SORRY!! PLEASE COME BACK-"
He fell to his knees as he held his shoulder, tears formed in his eyes for the first time since he had lost his wife. While obsessing over the thought of possibly helping others like his spouse he had lost his son, their son, and it was all his fault.
~~~~
As Conner ran through the forest he tore off some fabric from his bag, tying it swiftly around his arm to prevent it from bleeding. As he did this however he wasn't watching where he was going, and proceeded to trip over a stray root. He fell to the ground with a quiet oof, groaning quietly as he pushed himself up from the ground. However something looked to be infront of him, it was black and slimy. He lifted his head up to look at what stood in his path, it looked to be a massive fat blob with thin spindly arms, as if a slug had spider like limbs. Chunks of it seemed to bubble and swell, as if some parts of its body had a mind of its own. There was a circular white plate resting just above the middle of the arms. It had a crude grinning face plastered on it in black, it moved down to look at him, stretching from the rest of its body. It proceeded to speak in a deep gargling tone, as if someone was trying to speak while being drowned in slime.
"Hello young spawn, I am Enoch."
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doberbutts · 2 years
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Do you ever get people telling you you're not Black because you're mixed? Cuz I get that all the time and it's really hurtful
It was more common when I was young, nowadays it only happens when someone's mad that I'm speaking from a black experience and I disagree with them 🤷‍♂️ but I think also as I've aged I've become less racially ambiguous, as there was a lot of confusion when I was little on exactly what my racial makeup was. Most people saw black-and-something but did not guess that white or native could be the possible mix, most people assumed I was afrolatina and I got a lot of 'dominican?' 'puerto rican?' 'some type of mexican?' guesses. Some people thought I was Filipino, Jamaican, Hatian, or Pacific Islander with black.
This is even weirder to me because most of these people knew my mom was white (passing) but in their minds it was easier for them to believe I was adopted by her and not that I came out of her uterus and shared 1/2 of her genes. So despite knowing my mother they still assumed I was 100% POC, but not 'BLACK black' because of being mixed.
Once I got a lot older and started high school the only kids that said I wasn't 'really' black were either kids from disadvantaged backgrounds that didn't like that I didn't speak AAVE at school and had a fairly well off family, or that were directly immigrated from Africa and so I was not 'African' to them. But high school kids find any little difference to be a major thing, and are like sharks with blood in the water if they sense a weakness. These kids also didn't like that my dad called himself black, despite often being darker than these kids, because he also did not speak AAVE when at my school and was usually coming from his administration job in a suit and tie, and so it was hard for them to understand that he knew better than they thought what they were going through because all they saw was the privilege and status he'd worked hard to beat the odds and achieve.
And then once I hit adulthood the only people who don't see me as black are, as said, either fellow black people who don't like that my black experience differs from their opinion in some way so they go for the low hanging fruit of my lighter skin tone and my mixed status (which, hey, not cool actually???) or racist people who roll in thinking they're gunna beat up [insert plausible race guess here] because I'm very clearly mixed. Clearly didn't stop my first job's (white!) boss from calling me a nigger and then following me around the next day after I told him not to call me that again saying 'it just means black and that's what you are so why are you mad'.
The fact of the matter is that if you have a direct link to slavery in the US, you're probably mixed. Regardless of your skin color. My dad is also mixed afronative and he's dark skinned and likely if he did a DNA test he'll find some form of european in there because slave masters were known for raping their house slaves. It's next to impossible to find someone with direct ties to slavery that is truly 100% black. That's just not the lived reality for how slaves were treated and then afterwards white people loved raping black girls and women and getting away with it because no one cared as long as it was a black person doing the suffering. Even nowadays it happens and it gets swept under the rug. My own father was raped by a white boy while he was a child and nothing ever happened to that kid but my dad gets to carry that trauma around with him for the rest of his life.
I don't think it's right to deny someone their blackness when we all have some amount of mixing in us thanks to how brutal and ruthless white people were and continue to be. I especially don't think it's right to take that collective anger and trauma and direct it at someone who cannot control who their parents were or whether they were from a loving union or an act of violence. I understand it. But I don't think mixed kids trying to reconnect with their heritage are the people to blame. We can shame the mixed kids that throw their own people under the bus without hurting the mixed kids who get shit from both sides.
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nikki152006 · 3 years
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Lavender - Shinsou X Reader (Hanahaki)
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"(Name)!" Midoriya called out. You turned to him. "Is everything okay?" he asked. You shook your head in denial.
"Shinsou hasn't been attending his classes for a few days now and all he says is that he is sick." you said, "He doesn't even talk much or get out of his room."
"Yeah." Midorya said, in a concerned voice. Shinsou had been transferred to the hero course some time back and you both had been friends ever since the Sports Festival. Nowadays, however, Shinsou had been acting strange and reserved.
"I'll talk to sensei about it." you said, waving of to him and he waved back. You knocked the teacher's office.
"Come in." a bored voice said. You entered and found the whole room empty, except a man lying in a caterpillar sleeping bag.
"Dad." you said, crouching beside him. He hummed back.
"You should start sleeping like a normal human you know, the constant night patrols are really bad for you."
"Whatever." he said. You pouted and hugged your father, Shouta Aizawa. He was your adoptive father but you knew he loved you more than anything. Moreover, he was the reason why you had met Shinsou.
"Dad, Shinsou hasn't been attending school for some days now." you said, ruffling his hair. "I know." Aizawa replied.
"He always says he's sick." you added. Aizawa nodded and sighed. "Knowing him," he said, "He'd give anything to be a hero. So, it's weird that he's missing his classes. Lets talk to him this evening."
"Yeah. Thanks dad!" you said, kissing his forehead and walking off.
"So, what did sensei say?" Midoriya asked.
"He said we'll talk to him this evening." you replied. Midoriya nodded happily. No one in class other than Shinsou knew that Aizawa was your father. Shinsou was like your best friend. He knew almost everything about you. You couldn't understand why he'd been avoiding you for days now.
You inhaled and exhaled deeply, hoping Shinsou would be okay. You had grown to like him alot when Aizawa used to train him at your house. You became friends but your feelings were far greater and Aizawa knew that.
You had grown to love him so much that lavenders and purple became your favorite since they reminded you of him. However, you thought he didn't love you and so never showed him any signs of liking him so that it didn't affect your friendship.
_____________________________________________________________
"Shinsou. Open the door." you called out as you and Aizawa stood in the hallway, facing his room's door.
"I-I'm sick." a muffled and sore voice called out from behind the door.
"Yeah!" you called out, "We're here to help."
"N-No...I-I'm fine...I'll be fine." he said, as his voice seemed to come closer to the door until it came from right behind the door.
"Shinsou please.." you said, sadly. There was a loud couching noise. It seemed at if he was choking on his coughs.
"Sh-Shinsou open up!" you shouted, banging the door. "Shinsou, open the door." Aizawa said, finally.
"S-Sensei?" Shinsou croaked out.
"Shinsou open the damn door!" you cried. The coughing noises were there again.
"Shinsou you will open the door right now!" Aizawa called out. The coughing just continued. You contniued bacnging the door and asking him to open for some time until he finally said, "O-Ok...G-Give me a minute."
It took longer than a minute, it took around half an hour, and you and Aizawa were told to wait for a minute again and again. He finally opened the door, wearing a big white mask. The whole room gave a weird scent of lavenders.
"Why the mask?" you asked. "I'm sick." he said, shortly. You and Aizawa examined him, he looked pale and weak. His eye bags deeper and darker.
"You look dead, Shinsou." you said. He nodded and turned away. Aizawa looked around the room and began examining it. Shinsou seemed to get stiffer and stiffer as Aizawa skimmed through the room.
"Why," Aizawa said, "does the room smell of lavenders?"
"They're my favorite..." you said confused, "But still, why?"
Shinsou's breath hitched and he clutched his throat. "Sh-Shinsou?" you said, nervously, as he walked groggily towards his bathroom and shut the door. Loud coughing noises began to come out.
"Shinsou!" you said. knocking his bathroom door, "We're going to the doctor right now! Open up!"
There was no response, only more coughing. "Shit." Aizawa grumbled. You turned back towards him. He was holding what seemed like a polybag of red cloths from under Shinsou's bed. You stared at it.
'I-Is that blood!' you thought, as you ran upto Aizawa and saw him holding the bag of handkerchiefs covered in blood.
"SHINSOU OPEN UP RIGHT NOW!" you shouted with a final loud bang on the door. The door was probably not bolted properly because the moment your banged it it flung open revealing a teary Shinsou with purple flowers and lavenders coming out of his mouth which was covered in blood.
There was a moment of silence, in which you and Aizawa stared at him with shocked and concerned faces and he stared back in horror.
He tried to slam the door shut but it was too late, you had rushed in and pulled him out into hs room, while tears were starting to build up in your eyes.
"Shinsou.." Aizawa said. Tears began to flow out of Shinsou's eyes as he continued to cough out flowers covered in blood. He seemed to choke more and more on the flowers.
"H-How long?" Aizawa asked. Shinsou didn't reply. "Shinsou!" you cried, pulling him to face you. "How long."
"A...A..m-month.." he crocked out, snapping his head away from you. "It...was..f-fine..at first but...now.." he stammered out. Tears began to flow out of your eyes while you stared at him in horror. There was more silence, filled only by his coughs.
"We're getting you a surgery right away." Aizawa said. "No." Shinsou said.
"What!?" you shouted. "No." Shinsou said, "I...I..don't want it."
"WHAT THE FUCK!" you shouted as your heart began aching, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK."
"Why." Aizawa asked, his shock clearly notable.
"I..." Shinsou said, as his head went down and he plopped down, plaing his head in his knees. "Why?" you asked, walking upto him and sitting in front of him.
Shinsou shook his head in denial and looked away. His coughing had stopped but blood was dripping from his mouth. Your heart twinged hard.
"Do you want the person to like you back?" you asked, softly, as Aizawa came and sat beside you both. Shinsou's breath hitched. "You do." you whispered out, as if telling yourself. Your heart squeezed in your chest. A sudden rush of jealousy, sorrow, guilt and anger rushed into you. But over everything, you wanted him to be happy and to not die.
"Who is it?" you asked, placing you head in your knees. "I can help in making the person like you." you said.
You heard a muffled sniff. "Shinsou.." you called out, wiping your tears, "Hey, we're here...we'll help."
"People suffering through Hanahaki cough out the flowers of the favorite type or favorite color of the person they like, don't they." Aizawa said, looking at you. You nodded and extended your hand to ruffle Shinsou's hair. Shinsou lifted his head up and stared at you in disbelief.
You stared at him in confusion. You turned to Aizawa who was giving you a I-didn't-know-you-were-so-fucking-dumb look.
"W-What's wrong, dad?" you asked. He turned towards Shinsou who had his head against the wall and had closed his eyes. Both Shinsou and Aizawa sighed.
There was a deep silence. Suddenly, Shinsou's breath hitched and he began coughing loudly.
"Sh-Shinsou!" you cried, gripping him. Suddenly, Shinsou inhaled deeply and dropped on his back, clutching his chest. His breath became shallower and more and more pained.
"Shinsou!" you shouted, crying. He was struggling to breathe and purple flowers and lavenders grew out of his mouth.
"SAY IT SHINSOU!" Aizawa shouted, making you and Shinsou jolt slightly. "P-Please don't die."
"I..." Shinsou said, as his gaze faltered. You couldn't take it anymore. You didn't want to lose him. Without realizing what you were doing, you pulled him towards you and hugged him tight, crying in his shoulder.
Shinsou was taken aback. He painfully glanced at Aizawa, while struggling to breathe. Aizawa smiled at him shortly. Shinsou's heart skipped a beat. A warm hope spread across his chest.
He turned to face you, pushing you so that your face came in sight. "I love you, (Name)." he whispered.
You stared at him, still crying, processing the words he said, and as soon as you did. Your eyes shot open.
"I-I love you too! PleaseDon'tDieILoveYouAlotILoveYouSoMuchJustJustDon'tDieIPromiseI'llDoWhateverYouSayButShinsouPleasePleasePleaseDon'tDie" you cried. "Yeah." he said, hugging you tighter, with a large relieved smile on his face, "I won't."
He didn't die. The flowers in his throat withered away. He told you a week later that he had been shitting lavender smelled shit. You cringed at the thought but asked how something in the wind pipe travelled to his intestines. He cringed at your question and told you that the disease was unreasonable enough for you to ask such an unreasonable question.
"Hey Kitten." he said, a few months later. "Yeah Toshi.." you replied. He came over and hugged you.
"Can I.." he said, nervously. "Mhmm..?" you hummed back.
"Can I...uh..kiss you?" he mumbled. You chuckled and said, "About time."
You turned to face him and said dramatically, "Kiss me like you miss me Toshi."
"Sure." he said, in an amused tone.
It's best to not elaborate how far you guys went that night.
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tsuki-sennin · 2 years
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Itadakimasu~! Time for another great Sunday lunch with our Cure friends~! Today I'm having a couple slices of leftover pizza. And what a crap pizza it is. Very flat and floppy, the cheese is all off, the pepperoni is weak... I don't even know who made it, the box it came in just said "Pizza!" And let me tell you, microwaving it just made me real sad.
Anyways, Spoilers, I guess...
-Chururin, the world's deadliest serial killer.
-CureSta seems a lot less terrible than the real thing, I tell you what.
-Wǒ ài lāmiàn~! I'd argue that the professional kind is worth moving straight to the Far East for.
-Mem-Mem,,,
-Member's Only Churro Kururun Glutten Free Meme Dragon.
-Hanamichi~! Good to see you.
-That's a whole-ass panda.
-I rarely order ramen from actual restaurants, and I'm personally more of an udon kinda guy anyway, but last year, I ordered a bowl of noodles from a semi-local sushi place with shio broth, bamboo shoots, spinach, a whole boiled egg, and some narutomaki. Now I'm told that the perfect compliment to any perfectly crafted bowl of noodles is a beer, but I couldn't buy any at the time, so...
-Yui Nagomi, a connoisseur fluent in the art of noodle.
-Ran's dad lookin' pretty DILF-y, ngl. Kinda looks like Tao Pai Pai from Dragon Ball though. Makes sense, considering Toei Animation, but...
-The passion in the art of fine cuisine is nothing to be ashamed of.
-Ramen Fairy~! They bring
-Chururin~!
-Mari-chan, she's already seen the Recipeppi, I don't think covering poor Mem-Mem's gonna do much.
-Oyone :O
-Do ALL the old people in this town know each other?
-Act natural, Mem-Mem. Ran won't suspect a thing.
-Panda Get!
-Dwagon...
-Oh yeah, there's a ton of fairies! Mermaids too! And aliens, and time travel! Robots too!
-Ran's got poise!
-The power of love for cuisine...
-God, Gentle is like... peak character design.
-And yes, I'm calling her Gentle. "Jentoru" is that word written in katakana, Gentlu is a stupid romanization, Crunchyroll sucks, moving on.
-I guess they wouldn't show up in a public library, even in a food-devoted town like this.
-PRESIDENT AMANE IS GENTLE :O
-I mean, it's not that big a twist, considering how similar their designs are, but damn.
-...Cure Gentle confirmed?
-We're having a sale~!
-Working for a day, huh?
-Damn, I've got a hankerin' for ramen now. Even the cheap stuff feels like a gentle mid-summer kiss if you use the right ingredients!
-Ramen Musume. Coming soon to HiDive.
-Mem-Mem said "Peace out, yo."
-We're gonna share an asswhoopin!
-He go zoom.
-Oh man, I just realized. It's not just the food that suffers, it's business too!
-Beat 'em up, Ram!
-Ohhhhhh, bringin' up the price. That's cruel.
-Oh c'mon Mari, she's been working all day and has been getting tossed around for like five minutes. She's earned a big fuck-off bowl of premium ramen.
-Yeeeeeah, that's right Mari! Kokone too!
-Hanyaaaa~!
-Fuck 'em up, sweetie!
-Get 'er!
-Daaaamn, Mem-Mem got some fire!
-Mega sized rarity!
-Yum-Yum Dragon! Are you ready? Wake up burning! Get Yum-Yum Dragon! Yeah~!
-Cure Yum-Yum is the funniest and cutest goddamn name I've ever heard.
-Ohhhh, she got slashes!
-Traingles, Circles, and now Lines... Geometry.
-Well, two seems like the minimum Cure number, so...
-They're all together now!
-Yui-pyon~! Koko-pi~! Yep, definitely OT3 material.
-Marippe~!
-Our gurl is an influencer! ...I sure hope she doesn't find herself in cancellation range.
-Mmm... pineapple juice. Great for immune system health and heart rates.
-A tour of the town, huh? That sounds like a great time! I hope nothing wacky or uncharacteristic happens~!
-Man, PreCure towns just seem like the best place to be in the world, no matter the season, huh? ...the travel blog potential must be incredible.
-Alright, I uh... wound up getting a real hankerin' for some ramen, but I'll be coming back later today for Revice content! Probably over dinner, judging by the way my schedule currently looks right now.
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peanutxparker · 4 years
Text
A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not
Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)
“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”
“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”
“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”
“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”
“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”
“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”
“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”
“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”
“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”
“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”
People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)
“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”
“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”
“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”
“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”
“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”
“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”
“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”
“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”
“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”
“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”
“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”
“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”
“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”
“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”
“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”
“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”
Can’t Maintain (2009)
“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”
“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”
“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”
“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”
“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”
“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”
“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”
“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”
“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”
“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”
“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”
“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”
“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”
“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”
“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”
Knife Man (2011)
“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”
“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”
“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”
“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”
“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”
“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”
“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”
“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”
“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””
“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”
“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”
“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”
“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”
“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”
“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”
“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”
Rompilation (2012)
“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”
“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”
“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”
“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”
“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”
“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”
“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”
“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”
“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”
“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”
Christmas Island (2014)
“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”
“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”
“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”
“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”
“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”
“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”
“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”
“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”
“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”
The Bible 2 (2016)
“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”
“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”
“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”
“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”
“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”
“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”
“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”
“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”
“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”
“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”
Good Luck Everybody (2019)
“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”
“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”
“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”
“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”
“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”
“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”
“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”
“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”
“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”
“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”
“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”
“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”
“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”
“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”
“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”
“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”
“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”
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aj-writes-here · 4 years
Text
Like Father, Like Son
Warnings:
Mentions of bullying, blood, and a bit of swearing.
After years of living within walls, ages of fear and doubt, peace came to everyone's lives. If someone had asked the ones involved in the war how did they do it, no clear answer could have been possible. The only thing that was clear for everyone, was that lives were lost, that they had to go through emotional and physical pain to survive and gain peace for future generations.
Memories of those days were still haunting the survivors, while for some others it was faster and easier to move forward. For Levi and y/n, was some kind of an in-between. Both of them had lost friends and people they cared about, Levi had lost two of his digits and had earned a scar across his face, were those reminders that he was alive? Or reminders of his mistakes? That question was very often in his mind, but it was taken away whenever y/n appeared with a smile on her face, or when his son Theo came running to him.
Had he ever thought he was going to have a family? Absolutely the hell no, but there he was.
y/n and Levi had a quiet life, it was they deserved after all of those years of struggle. And Theo was well aware of that. The little boy grew up listening to stories about his father, humanity's strongest soldier, and at his nine years, he knew that he wanted to be just like his dad. But some kids didn't share that thought.
Theo was playing with his friends when he noticed that three other boys just a little bit older than him, were being rude to a girl. Theo stopped playing to pay attention to the scene, and when the redhaired boy pushed the girl to the floor, Theo ran to them.
—Hey! Leave her alone!—The small Ackerman shouted, but it didn't work.
—Ah, look who is here. Mind your own business, idiot—Said the oldest boy, kicking some dust that fell over the girl's dress ignoring completely Theo's presence.
—Stop it, or else—He was interrupted by other of the kids, and Theo felt like shaking at the intimidating gaze.
—Or else what? Are you going to fight us?—Theo took a step back, but he knew he couldn't leave that girl alone with the bullies, he just couldn't. And he was not going to.
—Yes, I'm going to—Taking courage and defeating fear, Theo used all of his strength to push the kid to the floor. And he was able to hit the redhaired boy, making his nose bleed, but that was everything he could do before feeling someone pushing his back.
From one second to another, Theo was on the floor covering his face from the kids the other boys were throwing at him.
—You will never be like your dad! Look at you, you're weak and pathetic—One of the boys said.
—He must be ashamed of having a son like you —The redhaired kid let out a laugh while kicking Theo. And suddenly, a little bit of blood was running down Theo's forehead.
Finally, the three boys decided to go away. Laughing at what they did.
The little girl, who was the same age as Theo, looked at him with a worried glace while he was standing up slowly. Once he was on his feet, he offered his hand to the girl, helping her stand up.
—Are you Ok?—He asked.
—Y-yes. But you're not! Come home with me, my mother can clean your wound.-She said in a very worried, scared, and almost desperate voice.
—I'm fine, don't worry—Theo gave her a small smile. He was sad, he was in pain and he wanted to cry. But he was not going to do it in front of her.
He didn't even ask her name, but she knew who he was. Everyone in town knew that the grey-eyed boy was Squad Leader y/n and Captain Levi's son.
Being that last line said, he walked away. The words that the other kids said were still on his head, was his father, his hero ashamed of him? Was he ever going to be as strong as his dad? He had no idea, but he felt bad. Theo was supposed to go the Survey Corps HQ to meet with his dad, and so he did.
After weeks of discussions, the queen decided that military branches were going to keep working in case some other disaster decided to appear, and it was a good idea to keep the Survey Corps active, in the end, they were the most adequate to explore new areas now free from titans. Levi was still the Captain, and he was in charge of leading some expeditions, and again, shitty paperwork. He was working on that paperwork when he heard a knock on his door, and without giving him the time to ask who it was, the door opened and a bruised, and a covered in dust Theo came in. He even had a little bit of blood running through his forehead.
—Theo?—Levi stood up immediately, controlling the panic he was feeling.- What the hell happened to you, brat.-He asked walking towards the couch his son sat on.
—I...They were... They said I was... But the girl...—He didn't know where to begin, and he kept his eyes away from his dad. Suddenly, Theo's lower lip started to shake while he was controlling his tears.
—Oi, look at me—Levi kneeled before him, looking for his son's eyes.
—Some kids were beating a girl, I went to help her but... They beat me instead—His voice cracked a little, oh man he was fighting not to let his tears out—And they said I... They said you were ashamed of having a son like me. A-and they're right, I'm weak, I'm not like you.
Levi's heart clenched at his words, and his usually know exactly what to say or do. Damn the Queen, why had she asked y/n to train the new horses now? His wife was better with sensitive topics. But besides being a strong ass woman and great at fighting, y/n was also an amazing equestrian. They needed her.
—It's ok to cry, kid—He said with his softest voice possible.
—But you never do.
—But that's wrong. It's perfectly fine to cry, to feel—That's what his wife would've said—And... You are not weak, Theo—With that last line he made his son look at him—Whatever sh... Whatever thing they said, it is not true. That girl? You helped her, she is fine because of you.
—Are you... Are you ashamed of me?—That question hurt him even more than the hits he had taken earlier.
—Don't you ever think that again, are we clear, brat?—Levi furrowed his eyebrows—I am beyond proud of who and how you are. Those idiots who said all of those things? They are a bunch of brainless idiots—At this point, he didn't even care about swearing–You are strong, brave and you are my greater pride.
Tears were running down Theo's cheek, and he stood up and gave his father a tight hug. Levi held him and after a few seconds, he gained some distance to see his son.
—And you're definitely not like me, you are better. You will always be better than me, brat.
The little grey-eyed boy nodded his head, letting the tears go out, starting to feel much better after his father's words, holding him one more time.
—You won't be mad at me if I... If I try to beat them next time?—He asked.
—Leave them limping, kid—He ruffled his hair, smiling lightly—Now let's get you cleaned up, you look like hell.
After those words, Levi helped Theo clean his wounds, and once they were ready they went home. For their surprise, y/n was getting down her horse at the time they arrived, Theo ran to her once he saw his mother. Of course, y/n noticed her son look, and both boys were not able to hide what had happened.
The day next, y/n heard a shy knocked on the door, and when she opened to see who it was, she found a small blonde girl, her cheeks going red at seeing the unknown woman.
—Uhm... Hi! Is... Is Theo here?—Of course, y/n thought. That was the girl her son helped yesterday.
—Yes sweety, let me call him an-
—No need mom, I'm here—Theo said appearing from behind his mother.
Once y/n leave them, the little girl spoke.
—I brought you some cookies, I wanted to thank you for... For saving me yesterday—She said, giving him the plate that was on her hands, making Theo blush.
—Than-Thank you. Would you like to share the cookies? The day is nice, so we could sit on the grass—He shrugged his shoulders, trying to see more natural.
—Sure! My name's Hazel, by the way—She smile shyly as both kids started walking out the door so they could sit on the grass.
y/n and Levi stood outside of their home watching the two kids exchanging words and then playing some sort of catch-me-if-you-can game. She hugged Levi from the side and spoke.
—You did well.
—At what?
—Encouraging him.
—Tch, I just told him the truth.
Levi gave her one of his typical stares and then left a kiss on her forehead, putting an arm over her shoulders so he could hug her better. That's the life he never thought he could have, but on moments like these, he couldn't feel happier. In the end, that cliché phrase that says after the storm the sun is out or some shit like that was true. And he had no one but two suns in his life, y/n and Theo. His wife and his son.
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Text
DAY 1 APRIL 29, 2021
Good Morning everyone! So many requirements this week and I can't handle it anymore. I can't manage my time and don't know what to do. I didn't have enough sleep. It's so gloomy outside and rainy. I want to sleep but I have some lessons to study.
It's so cold outside, end of school year is quite near and I'm super excited. I should do first this requirements before enjoying myself watching Netflix movies.
So many tasks to do this week and I'm preparing myself to be productive to do this tasks without being lazy. Before I do some tasks, my grandmother asked me for help to clean her room. We replace the curtains, we mop the floor, we decided to take a break and have some snacks. She made my favorite pineapple juice and I toasted the slice bread and we enjoy eating together.
This Thursday, our internet connection gone unstable. I don't know why but it will come back to normal as soon as possible. I went to my room and take a rest. I used my cellphone, surfed the net, and listen to my favorite classic songs. I turned off the lights and went asleep.
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DAY 2 APRIL 30, 2021
This Friday, it was so hot in the morning. I went to the bathroom and take a bath. I saw my grandmother making our breakfast for us. It was eggs and hotdogs. We ate it and I will be the one who will wash the dishes. I went to our living room and I watched my favorite show. My favorite channel is the Cartoon Network and my favorite cartoon is We Bare Bears. They're so cute! I want to hug tight and be my companion to bed when I sleep every night.
I called mom and we talked for awhile when she's not busy. She's working abroad. I dropped the call because I have something to do. Today was my cousin's birthday. Me and my grandmother were invited to attend to his party. When we arrived in their house, we saw them preparing for the birthday party. We arrived earlier than I thought. When I enter on his room, I saw him using his new phone, it was a gift from his dad. Aww, how sweet! I wish when my birthday comes, mom will give me a new phone.
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DAY 3 MAY 1, 2021
Thank God it's Saturday! I want to rest this weekends. I want to watch movies at night with my grandmother and also my siblings. I want to use my phone all night and play Mobile Legends because for me it was the most addictive game in the world. I look up in the sky and watch the sunset. Sunset is my favorite scenery because it makes me calm and I was so admired by the sun.
I directly went to my room and changed clothes. I go to the kitchen to make Chicken Adobo, that would be our dinner for tonight. After we ate, I surfed the net, watched horror movie, and felt asleep.
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DAY 4 MAY 2, 2021
Sunday morning, I woke up early and I made a milk for myself. Milk is not enough so I cooked my own breakfast today. It was bacon, egg, and hotdog with rice of course. I'm so happy it wasn't overcooked. I charged my phone because I forgot to charge it last night.
It's lunch time, I ate Adobo that I made last night. I go back to my table where I usually study and focus on myself. It's so hot in the afternoon and my eyes are itchy. I don't have any glasses to protect my eyes from the radiation coming from my device. Layer that time, I felt dizzy and weak so I talked to my grandmother and she gave me some medicines, I should take this because I want to feel better as soon as possible. Then I rest and felt asleep.
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DAY 5 MAY 3, 2021
I hate Mondays but I woke up early because of the noise coming from outside. I can still feel the dizziness so I take medicines to cure this. Then I lay down in my bed and take a rest. I felt asleep again and woke up in the afternoon, I skipped lunch because I don't want to eat. Feeling well, I go outside and ventilated myself with the fresh wind. I saw my friend walking by and I smile with a wink to her. She smiled back but doesn't wink back.
I checked my temperature and it goes back to normal. I pray to God and thanked Him because He did not forsake me even I'm a sinner. We should pray and have faith on Him, He is great, He loved us all.
Our subject teachers gave us activities and I answered it already because I have time for it and I don't want to fail, my mom would beat me if I fail. I am ready to pass it, but maybe tomorrow I should go to school or I will send it to my aunt and she will be the one who will pass it in the Drop-Pick Area in our school.
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DAY 6 MAY 4, 2021
I woke up early to do my laundry because I don't have any clothes to wear. After doing the laundry, I rest for some 30 minutes, then I did my homeworks and some activities. I also workout for like 30 minutes. My grandmother cooked my favorite dish called chop suey for our lunch. I love it since I was a kid, this is my favorite dish.
I go outside and trim some of the bushes. Suddenly, a beggar came to our house, wearing a surgical mask and she asked me if she can obtain some of our papaya fruit. She also said that she was so hungry and she badly want to eat that papaya fruit. She also told me that she's 4 months pregnant. I think she is craving to the fruit. I gave her the perfectly ripe papaya fruit so that she can enjoy it. She was so thankful to me. And i said "Anytime, you're welcome!"
Being generous also makes us feel better about ourselves. We have to focus on what we are giving not on what we are receiving. We have to be selfless.
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DAY 7 MAY 5, 2021
Today is Wednesday. Finally, we have our internet connection and was faster than the recent wifi we used. We can watch youtube without lagging, play online games, and lastly surf the net faster than ever before. This day I read books to enhance my reading skills. I also practiced to sing. My voice actually improved when I was a part of Musical Play in Grade 10.
When I was bored in our house, I usually go to Pili to buy groceries and my needs when I have money. I always buy my favorite Choco-Strawberry Milktea. I usually spend my money to buy foods because it helps me to cope and reduce stress. When I have free time, I play online games like COD, ML, Valorant and many more. It helps me to think critically on how to kill enemies, know the strategies, and many more.
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DAY 8 MAY 6, 2021
Today is my favorite cousin's birthday. I'm so excited! Her name is Zchan and she is my beloved cousin and also my bestfriend. Since nursery, she's within me. We play our favorite outdoor games, we watch our favorite cartoons together, we do our schoolworks together, even if it there's an Honor List, we ranked 1st together. We are blessed with intelligence but I am more talented thank her. We always brainstorm together when we have a problem to be solved and the funny thing is that we usually had the same idea. I really love her so much. I prepared her a gift, it was a Gucci sweatshirt. My mom bought it for me so I can give her the gift that I know she wants.
I prepared myself, I went to their house, it's already 3:00 and thankfully I am not late. i helped her sister for preparing the party. It's only a small party because of the pandemic and also she didn't wish to have a big party celebration. Later that afternoon, we ate the foods in the table, and after that I also helped wash the dishes.
When I arrived home, I saw my grandma watching news. I proceed to my room, changed my clothes and fell asleep.
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DAY 9 MAY 7, 2021
The Finals Examination for Second Semester is near and honestly I am not ready. I should review my lessons this week but I have so many responsibilities to do. We will have the general cleaning in our entire house tomorrow. My grandmother told me that I should prepare and be ready for tomorrow and finish my school activities. I also have to be the cashier in our store and take care of it.
Before our general cleaning, I already clean and organized my room so that tomorrow I will focus only on the other part of the house. Honestly my room is always clean hehe. I don't want other people sneak into my room without any permission from me. I don't want any dust in my room especially in my bed. My grandmother always tell me that she even asked me "Why am I so clean?" I answered her that since I was a kid, I usually get the "Most Neat and Clean Award". And also I told her that Good hygiene lowers your risk for diseases and illnesses commonly spread through viruses and bacteria. Washing yourself and staying clean can kill and remove illness-causing bacteria from your body, lowering the risk for disease. Good hygiene is key to preventing infection when wounds and skin irritation are present.
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DAY 10 MAY 8, 2021
It was Saturday, I woke up late and I drink milk and ate some bread to have energy when cleaning the house. I go to the bathroom and take a shower, my grandmother said that I should take shower before doing a household chores.
I started at the front of our house, I sweep those fallen leaves and piled up in a designated area where we burn those leaves. Next that I did was Grass cutting. I used the pruning shears to cut those unwanted grass in our yard. The next that I did is to water my plants. Grandma loves her plants as much as me. I sprinkled some water to the plants to make them alive and healthy. The next thing that I do is to clean the window, I wiped them using squeegee and a cloth to make them dry fast. The last thing that I did is mop inside the house. Then after that I take some rest and eat those snacks that my grandmother prepared for me. Then it was dark and I fell asleep.
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bumblesimagines · 4 years
Text
That Night
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Part 2
Request: Yes or No
Archie stared at Betty, mind still blank as her words repeated in his head.
What?
When?
How?
You and Sweets were two very different people! You were a jock, you were popular, you were patient and kind. Sweets was a delinquent, he was disliked, and he had the worst temper Archie had ever seen. Archie voiced his thoughts.
"When?"
"They went on a double date with me and Jug towards the last week of summer.." Betty said, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater.
"If I had known that you liked him, I would've done something but Archie... You aren't single. You have a loving girlfriend!" Betty reminded.
"But.. They're complete opposites.." He mumbled.
"Arch, Sweet Pea has had a crush on (Y/N) since the Serpents joined Riverdale." Betty told him, concern pooling in her soft baby blues.
Did he mean nothing to you?
Was he just a summer fling to you?
Archie shook his head, finally coming back to reality.
"That.. That can't be right, Betty. I mean, they aren't serious, are they?"
"Arch, you really don't wanna fight Sweet Pea." Betty placed a hand on his arm.
"Let's head back and you can sleep on it, okay? We'll talk in the morning." Betty said, heading back with Archie trailing behind. A million thoughts raced through his mind. All of them being about you. He entered his house without a word, going up to his room and falling onto his bed. He closed his eyes but he kept thinking about that night.
You smiled, one hand on the side of Archie's neck while the other held a beer bottle.
"You're a good guy, Archie. You're allowed to feel all these things." You assured, thumb rubbing comforting circles on his jaw. Archie let out a sigh. He really needed to let everything out.
"Thanks for listening.." He watched you nod. You drank the last of your beer, placing the bottle aside. Archie leaned into your touch, feeling a boost of confidence. He leaned forward, surprising you with a kiss that you didn't deny.
Archie didn't wanna believe his eyes. There you were. Sitting on Sweet Pea's bike. Sweet Pea's arms kept you caged against him but you didn't seem to mind, hand tangled in his hair. You laughed, ending the makeout session.
"Are you done sucking each other's faces off?" Reggie asked bitterly, annoyed that you, one of his best friends, had gotten with a Serpent. Archie felt sick to his stomach. All the daydreaming, little thoughts, memories came crashing down. But, he still had hope. There was a good chance that you and Sweet Pea wouldn't last. You still had your differences afterall. You were a Northsider and he a Southsider.
"Woah, that's new. I didn't know Sweet Pea and (Y/N) were a couple." Veronica said, leaning up to peck Archie's cheek.
"How'd you sleep?" She asked. Archie blinked, finally looking away from the two.
"I couldn't.. Had a lot of things on my mind." He replied, the exhausted look in his eyes being evidence enough. Veronica frowned, running a finger down his cheek.
"Like what?" Archie shook his head.
"Nothing important."
"If it's keeping you up, it has to be at least a little important." Veronica had a good point. Archie gave her a small smile, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
"Don't worry about it." He said, walking towards the school with her.
"Hey, Arch!" Reggie greeted with a smile. You turned your head, looking at him which in turn made Sweet Pea grunt and drop his head onto your shoulder.
"Ronnie." Reggie nodded, voice softer. Veronica only offered a small smile. Archie didn't notice the odd exchange. You gave him a nod.
"You look like shit." You said. Archie's heart jumped from his stomach and back into his chest. You noticed. That was good.
"Yeah, I, uh.. I was up thinking."
"Oh?"
"Can we talk later? About that video game?" Archie asked. You nodded, glancing at Sweet Pea when he pulled you even closer. Archie stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Veronica spotted Betty and headed over, pulling Archie with her.
"Video game?" Reggie repeated, looking at you. Reggie wasn't that dumb. He knew you like the back of his hand. You weren't a big fan of video games and neither was Archie. You looked at Reggie, noticing his stare.
"I'm gonna head inside, Pea." You said. Sweet Pea pouted but the pout disappeared when you pecked his lips. He let you go, jumping into the conversation Fangs and Toni were having. You picked up your backpack, dusting the bottom off as you walked towards the school.
"Since when do you play video games?" Reggie asked.
"Okay, it's not about video games." You admitted, slinging a backpack strap over your shoulder. Chuck joined you guys and Reggie updated him on the situation. Chuck was far from dumb. He couldn't help but laugh.
"Wow, Veronica and Archie's relationship must be shit if they cheated on eachother with you guys." Chuck said, being mindful of the other students.
"Woah, what? You and Andrews?!" Reggie whisper-asked. You nodded.
"I always knew he was a little fruity." Chuck mumbled. You elbowed him in return, rolling your eyes.
"Have you spoken to Veronica?" You asked Reggie, watching his expression drop.
"No... I should've known she was just using me." He sighed. You rubbed his shoulder.
"Josie's still single." You said.
"It's not like that with me and her." Reggie replied, leaning against the lockers as you opened yours.
"Me and Josie are like brother and sister. I don't see her like that. Plus, Chuck has his eye on her." You looked at Chuck with a grin. He smiled in return.
"I'm gonna ask her on a date later." Chuck said. You laughed, shaking your head.
"Be careful with Josie, she'll claw your eyes out with grace." You warned playfully. Reggie and Chuck agreed before going separate ways as the bell rang. Your eyes drifted over to Archie as he entered the school with his friends.
You opened the beer bottle, tossing the cap into your bag to add to the collection. You heard the rumble of a car and turned your head, watching someone pull up and get out of their car. You recognized them as Archie Andrews. He was hesitant, probably not expecting anyone at this time to be at Sweetwater River. You patted the spot beside you, watching him let out a sigh of relief and walk over.
You cleared your throat, closing the locker and heading to class. Sweet Pea didn't know about the hookup and he didn't need to know about it.
Archie waited by the door of your last period cause of course he had memorized your schedule. You finished talking with the teacher and noticed him. You flashed the teacher a smile before walking over to him.
"Hey."
"Hey." You glanced at the other students.
"We should.. Probably talk in a more private area." You said. Archie nodded.
"Yeah, of course." He agreed, following you down the hall and to the courtyard. You sighed, facing him once you were far from other students.
"About that night.." Archie started, fiddling with his fingers. You nodded, urging him to continue.
"I think I fell for you." A beat of silence passed. All that could be heard were the distant chatting and honk of cars from the pick-up and drop-off area.
"What?" You asked, not sure if you had heard him correctly.
"Hear me out, please-"
"Archie, Archie, no..." You shook your head. It couldn't be true.
"You were in a momemt of weakness and you were influenced by alcohol. We both were." You said. Archie grabbed your arms, eyes pleading with you.
"No, you were the first person, other than Betty and my dad, to actually listen to my problems and not make it about you. You're the first guy I've ever slept with and the first guy I've ever felt this strongly about." Archie explained. You opened your mouth but a strong voice cut you off.
"Hey, Andrews, keep your paws off my boyfriend, will you?" Sweet Pea called, walking over. Archie dropped his hands, knowing he shouldn't risk a suspension for fighting on the first week back from break. Then again, it was the first week back from break and most teachers were too tired to give real assignments.
"We were just talking, Sweet Pea." Archie said, glancing at you as Sweet Pea wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
"You don't need to be touching to talk." He glared at Archie. The two still weren't exactly on good terms. You placed a hand on Sweet Pea's chest, looking at him.
"Don't start, Pea." You whispered softly. Sweet Pea stared at you, nodding and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
"Come on, I could really go for a burger." You said with a smile. Sweet Pea chuckled.
"You're worse than Jughead." You scoffed, shaking your head.
"Nobody can eat more than Jughead, trust me." You chuckled. You glanced at Archie one last time before walking away with Sweet Pea.
It wasn't over.
It wasn't.
Archie needed to know if he didn't have a chance. He needed to hear it from you, not from Betty or anyone else. Did you seem happy with Sweet Pea? He didn't know. You didn't seem super in love or attached like Sweet Pea seemed. He felt eyes on him and turned his head, spotting Betty. Archie jogged over to her.
"So? Did you talk? Figure everything out?"
"No, Sweet Pea interrupted us before we could." Archie replied. Betty sighed, rubbing the space between her brows.
"Arch, listen to me, before you deal with (Y/N), deal with Veronica. She deserves to know." Betty was right. She was always right. Archie sighed. Part of him wanted to be selfish and keep Veronica just in case you told him no. The other part wanted to spill everything and come clean.
"Yeah, okay." He nodded. Betty smiled, patting his arm. Archie needed to get you alone so you could talk. Betty nimbled on her bottom lip. She had two secrets from two friends who were together. She didn't know how much longer she could last.
Tags; @nialeesato
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tabloidtoc · 3 years
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National Examiner, March 22
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson -- his journey from thief to superstar
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Page 2: These stars wheely like to bike -- Hugh Jackman, Eva Longoria, Matthew McConaughey, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, Russell Crowe, Arnold Schwarzenegger
Page 3: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez, Al Roker, Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith, Matt Damon, Justin Theroux, Ethan Hawke
Page 4: Jennifer Aniston's roles and costumes
Page 6: Susan Sarandon is 74 and single now and she admits she likes to date younger men because they have more inquisitive minds than older guys
Page 7: Golden Age of Glamour -- the shocking beauty tips, tricks and secrets of Hollywood's most stunning stars -- Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Crawford
Page 8: Listen to Granny -- older media influencers are getting into the act on social media, with women in their 80s and 90s earning huge followings and lots of money on Instagram -- while some are all about their head-turning styles, others go with decorating or fitness to create their granfulencer brands
Page 9: Go ahead and binge that new TV show because it's good for your mental health -- new research shows the lack of social connection we're all feeling now because of COVID-19 restrictions can be filled, at least to some degree, by watching TV, reading books and listening to music
Page 10: Lucia DeClerck has some advice for living a long life, and she knows what she's talking about because she's 105 years old -- not only did Lucia live through the 1918 Spanish Flu, she's the oldest person in her nursing home and she just beat COVID-19 -- how does she do it? Gin-soaked golden raisins
Page 11: 8 ways to prevent back pain
Page 12: Stars Still Strong and Sexy As They Hit Milestone Notorious 90 -- Marla Gibbs, Gavin MacLeod, Angie Dickinson, Barbara Eden
Page 13: William Shatner, Olympia Dukakis, Dan Rather, Rita Moreno, Willie Mays, James Earl Jones
Page 14: Dear Tony, America's Top Psychic Healer -- all marriages need care and attention to flourish
Page 15: There are nicer, more medically accurate ways to describe it, but "dead butt syndrome" says it all, that feeling of numbness or achiness from sitting too long -- it is no joke to the many people who experience the discomfort of DBS, otherwise known as lower cross syndrome, gluteal amnesia, or gluteus medius tendinosis -- people who sit at their desk all day for work are particularly prone to this syndrome, where muscle tightness in the hip flexors and weakness in the gluteus medius muscles in the buttock combine to create hip and lower-back pain, leading to numbness -- luckily there are simple remedies you can try to alleviate symptoms and even reverse the syndrome
Page 16: Princess Diana: little girl lost -- Diana's brother Charles Spencer reveals truth about heartbreaking childhood
Page 18: There are about 100 prepaid food receipts fluttering on the wall of Ruma's Deli in Missouri and if you're hungry and your pockets are empty, you can grab one, bring it to the counter and get a free meal, no strings attached
Page 19: Pixel the cat is so creepy-looking even a professional exorcist crossed himself and ran -- Alyson Kalhagen's cat has giant googly eyes, a Halloween pumpkin smile and oversized bat ears and he's also fond of making funny faces but the two-year-old has racked up a fan base online, where more than 12,000 followers find Pixel's peculiarities precious
Page 20: Cover Story -- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is huge in every way -- the muscle-bound ex-wrestler has starred in dozens of blockbuster films, has tons of projects in the works, millions of bucks and a brand new show about his childhood but he hasn't always been on top of the game -- the dynamo has gone through so many tough times and bad decisions they would sink a lesser man but he's an open book about all of them and how he fought to get to the top every step of the way
Page 22: After a long break to raise her children, Michelle Pfeiffer is on the silver screen again and looking better than ever -- the 62-year-old is in a new film called French Exit, in which she plays a tragic widow who packs up and moves to Paris with her son -- the actress says to return and thrive in an industry formerly known as being obsessed with youth is a gift -- although her husband David E. Kelley has been behind dozens of hits like The Undoing and Big Little Lies, Michelle doesn't want to work with him because she's seen a lot of couples where they seem to have a great marriage, and then they work together and next year they're filing for divorce -- next up, Michelle will play Betty Ford in the upcoming series The First Lady
Page 24: A Texas grocery delivery driver got more than just shelter from the storm when her car became stuck in a customer's driveway -- the people who lived there took her in for five days and made her feel like part of the family
Page 26: Deep Focus -- stunning underwater pix from an unseen world
Page 32: Pet Projects -- family portraits get everyone into the picture -- photographer Tasha Hall creates "farmaly" photos, which include each and every one of the household where they've got two feet, four feet, paws, claws, hooves or wings
Page 34: While everyone loves a comfortable, cozy mattress, having a really good becomes more important with age because a bad one may leave you with aches, pains and posture imbalances but the problem is that these specialty mattresses are very expensive -- fortunately, Medicare may cover up to 80 percent of the cost if you go about this purchase the right way and you'll then be responsible for the remaining 20 percent, as well as any deductible
Page 40: Psychic Self-Defense -- many people are born with a psyche that is naturally sensitive -- there has been a modern-day rise in occultism and practicing psychics and the way of the world at this time had made many more people seek help -- this has produced a far greater awareness of the need to protect and defend ourselves when working in a magical or psychic context -- we are all constantly being bombarded with psychic vibrations, not all of them good
Page 42: 20 Things You Never Knew About Tiger Woods
Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Jenny McCarthy is in high spirits as she preps to tape a new episode of The Masked Singer in L.A. (picture), Goldie Hawn works out in L.A. (picture), Jane Fonda has given up on getting hitched -- she has three failed marriages and being single means she can watch whatever she wants on TV, Kelly Clarkson admits that since her marriage soured she no longer considers marriage a fairy-tale thing and she can't imagine being married again, Charlize Theron admits she hasn't made the grade when it comes to homeschooling her kids Jackson and August, Patrick Schwarzenegger is looking to follow in the footsteps of his dad Arnold Schwarzenegger but says his dad hasn't offered any pointers when it comes to a career in showbiz, Bindi Irwin is close to welcoming her little wildlife warrior with husband Chandler Powell and her 17-year-old brother Robert Irwin has some opinions about his sister's ever-expanding figure saying she's massive
Page 45: Duchess Kate and Prince William hold video calls with folks shielding at home during the pandemic to discuss the positive impact of the COVID-19 vaccine (picture), Chrissy Teigen goes shopping with daughter Luna (picture), Mary-Kate Olsen finalized her divorce from French banker Olivier Sarkozy and she was spotted in NYC having dinner with businessman John Cooper, Gordon Ramsay is steamed after being diagnosed with arthritis, Jessie J has a new boyfriend with dancer and choreographer Max Pham Nguyen, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin dropped a bombshell -- they've welcomed their sixth child via surrogate
Page 46: We all get a bit snippy at times, but if you tend to fly into a rage, it's not good for your health or friendships -- here are some simple anger-management techniques you can do any time
Page 47: Curious Earthlings have always been hungry for movies about the moon and its mysteries -- Cat-Women of the Moon, A Trip to the Moon, The Right Stuff, First Man, Gravity, Apollo 13, Hidden Figures
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ridiasfangirlings · 4 years
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Saru & Yata meet when they're still in kindergarten instead of middle school. Yata & his mom are still currently living with Yata's bio father, so he often shows up to school with bruises/sprains. The boys bond over being outcasts/having crappy dads. Yata's mom gets divorced and remarries like in canon. But I like to think growing up together like this makes it so they understand each other's perspectives of the world better than canon Sarumi did, so they are able to avoid big misunderstandings.
I wonder if this would help things or make it worse if Yata also ended up with terrible coping mechanisms. Like imagine they meet as little kids, both of them end up bonding over how awful their dads are. Yata tends to come to school with bruises and he has this strong sense of dislike for people who pick on the weak, wishing he was strong enough to protect himself and his mom from his dad. One day he sees little Fushimi getting bullied and rushes in to help, beating up the other kids and getting in trouble for it. Fushimi ends up caught in the mess too and later the two of them are in the principal's office waiting for their parents to arrive and pick them up (though Fushimi knows his aren't going to show, he's just waiting until the teachers realize it too). Yata's all on edge because he's worried that his dad will come for him, Fushimi's not really interested in his business but he wonders why Yata's so worried when he started the fight. Yata says his dad is the lowest of the low, the worst ever, and there's this long pause before he hears Fushimi say '….mine too.' Yata looks up sharply but Fushimi isn't meeting his eyes, fists clenched slightly as he murmurs 'that guy is the worst.'
After this the two of them start becoming close, like Yata feels as if Fushimi's the only one who really gets him and Fushimi feels like they at least have some common ground (though I imagine Yata also talking about how he wants to protect his mom and all that and Fushimi doesn't say anything but to him it's like a reminder that no, they aren't the same, because someone somewhere loves Yata). When Yata's mom finally divorces and remarries I could see Yata becoming extra protective of Saruhiko though, knowing that sure he's been 'saved,' but it was all due to someone else and if there's one thing Yata wants most of all it's the ability to save Saruhiko too. I think in this AU they might be even closer in middle school, like Yata won't let anyone else say anything about Fushimi and it's like he's totally focused on helping Fushimi because Yata knows what it's like to feel as if you're stuck in a powerless situation.
But then when they join Homra I could see things still going bad, because even with that common ground there are still things they don't get about each other. In particular I think the difference between Yata being physically abused by his dad but still having his mom for support versus Fushimi being emotionally abused by his dad and having no support whatsoever except Yata, like I could see Yata at least developing some coping mechanisms but also still never quite realizing that he and Fushimi could have different ways of seeing the world. Like when they join Homra Yata is still really happy because he feels like they have a bunch of people now who have their back, that here's this whole group who protects the weak and does what Yata always wished he could do. He figures that Fushimi should be happy now too because he's finally been saved as well, by joining Homra they're now both strong enough to fight against their demons. What he doesn't realize is that Fushimi's demons can't be fought just with power and so Yata is still terribly lost when Fushimi betrays him, not getting how this happened when the two of them have always understood each other (and then I think post-betrayal their interactions could be interesting, because Yata's so upset at Fushimi for breaking their partnership but then at the same time he's still got that ingrained need to protect Saruhiko from everything and it's hard for him to really properly fight Fushimi when he just wants to shield Fushimi from the world even now).
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qbrooklyn1056 · 3 years
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El angelito que cambió NYC!
The lack of resources when it comes to children should never be an issue. Why is it that rich children get treated so, much better than less fortunate children? Aren't children, children and they all should be loved and tread equally? This is no where near the case for most poor children. The system seems like they fail to protect black and brown babies, like to them its not as important as finding justice for white baby. When describing children, you think of lovable, sweet and some of the smartest little humans you’ll come across. Children are the key to joy some may say and their pure innocence makes up for some of the most hilarious and memories moments. What happens when you have people who use their children innocence for their own personal gains, and the lack of a system making sure putting the safety of children needs at top priority. You get a dead child and a ton of excuses. Either way, 6-year-old Elisa Izquierdo, who would have been 32 years old this year, but instead is resting in Cypress Hills Cemetery. This would be at the hands of the people who she should’ve been most protected by.
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Elisa Izquierdo was born on February 11th 1989, in Brooklyn NY, at Woodhull hospital. She was born to Gustavo Izquierdo, who was a Cuban immigrant dancer, and her mother Awilda Lopez who was Puerto Rican. The pair met in a homeless shelter in Fort Greene Brooklyn, where Izquierdo was a caretaker, and she was a resident of the shelter. Two years into the relationship Lopez got pregnant with Elisa. Izquierdo would break up with Lopez after discovering she was heavy into using crack cocaine, and that was actually part of the reason she was into the shelter anyway. She would lose her two oldest kids to child welfare (Now ACS), the same year Elisa was born. Elisa had crack cocaine in her system and Elisa was permanently place with her father. He made sure she was his world and got her into a good school, but a health condition would interfere with him paying for Elisa schooling. Says the daily news, who covered the whole story throughout the trail.
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Should a parent that had been on drugs get their children back? For most, I would say, Hell No, not untroubled the child is 17 and older. This way the child can fight back or speak up against the abuse if its happening. Plus,, most abuse patents, usually only go after the weak and small, because they can't fight back. Now, the same year her mother claimed to completely drug treatment and had an apartment on Manhattan Lower East side, Rutgers Houses projects. She was now married to a maintenance worker named Carlos Lopez. Lopez was granted unsupervised visits every second weekend. This is where her two oldest siblings would tell family, that Elisa was being abused and lock in a cupboard by their mom and step-dad. (Family members did nothing). While Elisa would return home and begin bedwetting and had scars all over including her genitalia. She would vomit after coming from her mom house and would refuse to go in bathrooms. (Information also provided by the daily news), I don't know about most people, but if a child is showing all these signs, something is very wrong. This is nothing you sweep under a rug this is something the U.S. Marshall's should even be notified of. This little girl was being treated like a human punching bag, all for just being herself. Elisa story should be made into a movie or shown at them programs for people who abuse kids. Should also be shown to new parents, so they can have an understanding of the real world. Even people thinking about having a baby Should see this story, so they know how much work kids are but they may also come to realize they're not ready for a child.
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Her father is the type of dad I believe anybody wouldn't want as a dad or any woman would love to have a baby by him, because of how much he cared and loved his daughter. He was a real standup guy who just wanted the best for his baby girl. He never could imagine that the person he had a baby with, was the devil in the flesh. Himand teacher notice the bruises, and she said she didn’t want to go back to her house ever again. Elisa also, told a social worker what had happened, and Izquierdo tried everything to stop the visitation rights, but the courts said she could continue to see her daughter, but under the conditions she doesn’t hit her child Izquierdo would purchase tickets for Cuba for the date of May 26, 1994, he planned on moving him and Elisa there. He would be rushed to the hospital in May, finding that he had Lung Cancer, he would pass on the same day him and his daughter was supposed to start their new life May 26, 1994. The director of the school still tried to report the mother after the father died because the school was worried. Since he wasn’t there to fight for her anymore. I sometimes wonder why God took him away from that Elisa, because she really needed him at this time, but even though this story is tragic. It's because of Elisa's story a rules and regulations have change when it comes to children.
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This is were we see things get really bad for little Elisa. This is were child welfare dropped the ball over and over. This is were this beautiful little girl will lose her life because everyone around her was dropping the ball. Her mother would get temporary custody after she filed a permanent custody order of Elisa, Izquierdo family would challenge the decision, Lopez lawyer made her seem like a saint, who wasn’t going to use drugs again, and Elisa wanted to be with her biological mother. Judge Phoebe Greenbaum approved permanent custody in September 1994. Elisa was withdrawn from private school and sent to public school 126 in Manhattan. She was said to be “uncommunicative, emotionally disturbed, and urinated often”. Also, the principle at the new school said “Elisa was tearing out hair and walking with difficulty.” In 1995, some ones sent an anonymous letter to child welfare and said Lopez cut off Elisa hair and was locking her in dark rooms. The school kept reporting and child welfare kept saying “Not reportable “due to lack of evidence. The evidence was obviously there. It was supposed to be a caseworker checking on Elisa all the time. Lopez back on drugs and that spring withdrew Elisa from 126 and didn’t enroll her another school. She was in her six child and but Elisa for some reason was always her target. Why wasn't this judge disbarred? This is a slap in the face to any child going through abuse. You are basically giving the abuser a pass to do whatever they want to the child with no consequences. Do you really think that a person on drugs, who beats her child everyday, is going to change overnight? I'm here to tell you absolutely not, Not when they don't even like there own child. I believe a lot of these people should have been brought up on charges and given prison time to show the world we will not tolerate this kind of abuse.
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To imagine this poor little girl being beating and abused by somebody that she hope would protect, turned out to be a monster. The mother was an evil women with real problems, besides drug use. In my opinion she knew exactlywhat she was doing, because she didn'treat all her kids that way or even think about doing half the things she did to Elisato the others. I mean this women made this child. eat her own feces, sexually assaulted with a hairbrush, hair mopped with the floor, and way more horrible things. Carlos Lopez would beat Elisa and the oldest two because they weren’t his. November 22nd. Lopez would phone her sister and says her daughter was “retarded on the bed" and she had fluid coming from her nose and mouth, which was said to be brain fluid. She was told to take her to the hospital and she said “I’ll think about it after she did the dishes.” The next day a neighbor came to see what was going on and told Lopez to call the police and she said “No.” The neighbor did and Lopez talked of committing suicide. She would admit that she threw her daughter into a wall two days prior. The autopsy revealed broken fingers, vaginal tear, burns, welts, and a bone protruding through her skin.
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Elisa story gained lots of media attention and the Newspapers, such as dateline, New York times, and time magazine just to name a few. Everyone was in some way scolding child welfare services for dropping the ball horribly. Judge Phoebe Greenbaum faced a lot of backlash and claimed she followed proper procedures in the case. Then Mayor Rudolph Giulliani would create ACS (Administration for Children Services). Devoted to child welfare, which years down the line would have a lot of similar cases like Elisa. In 1996 then Governor George Pataki signed Elisa's law which is for every agency whether private or city work together to make sure children are safe, and to also protect the child’s privacy or workers in case of any situation with abuse. This is about the need to increase accountability in the city.
This whole situation is just wrong, so many people failed this child and looked the other way. I guess it goes back to what I was asking at the beginning. I believe poverty can play a big part in children not getting enough love and support from their families, because they have to work and make sure things are taking care of. One thing I learned is no matter what, talk to a child and see if anything is going on. Any little sign of anything you confront the situation, you don’t want to wait until it too late to do something about it. Hurting one of most God creatures is absolutely disgusting, and there should be no coming back from that. I wonder if she was from a family with money would child service had taken her case way more serious? The answer most likely is yes. Money talks in this country and the sad part is, people don’t take action until its always too late. One child is too many to lose to child abuse.
 • Daily News
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