#and if they are then the problem isn't that they're the Wrong Sex/Gender it's that they're behaving badly/disrespectfully/threateningly

[thedreadvampy]

unwarranted Cis Opinion but I'm getting really uncomfortable w people responding to bathroom bills by posting pictures of trans men like DO YOU WANT THEM IN WOMEN'S BATHROOMS

bc like. no they're men. they should be in men's bathrooms unless that feels unsafe. but. it really feels like it's not helpful to lean into the idea that seeing someone presenting masc or being read as a man in a women's bathroom means You're In Danger.

like I know several butch women and NB ppl who are really scared around being on T or getting top surgery bc they're not men and they don't want to be in the men's bathroom, and in that circumstance stuff like growing facial hair or reading more androgynously can be really fucking scary when people are being primed by propaganda to be on edge and hyperreactive to anyone who doesn't look like their idea of a Cis Woman.

and I'm not laying that at the feet of the people saying "hey uhhhh trans men are men and don't belong in women's bathrooms" bc it is not their fault. it's the fault of a concerted effort to make it difficult and dangerous to be trans or substantively gender nonconforming in public.

but at the same time idk I guess it just worries me cause sometimes it feels like "you fools! you are worried about this group of trans people bc you think they're the Lurking Danger of Men In Bathrooms? WRONG! the Men Making You Feel Afraid In Bathrooms are actually THESE trans people!" when in fact neither of those groups using the fucking bathroom is a problem. just piss and mind your business. people need to go where they need to go.

anyway this country is a hot fucking trash fire that somehow accelerates its descent into open fascism more every day so it's all super good and normal. so don't take this too seriously tbh cause it's somewhere near #2535654476457899009765 on the list of priorities for Queer Discourse right now when the fucking human rights commission is actively rescinding protections from trans people. Please ignore my gibberish.

#red said #i get that the point is to follow their logic to its logical conclusion like SEE THE EFFECT IS THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR STATED INTENTIONS #but a) the lawmakers already know this tbf #and also b) ultimately you still do end up making a lot of tweets that look very very very like the original scaremongering abt trans ppl #and transphobes and ppl who are unfamiliar with trans stuff alike have repeatedly and consistently demonstrated either an unwillingness #or an inability. to understand the difference btw a trans man and a trans woman. #and meanwhile idk it does feel like most posts like this are tacitly reinforcing the idea that you SHOULD be scared of masc-presenting ppl #it's putting so much emphasis on clockability. and the truth is not everyone using the bathroom does or should have to pass perfectly. #if a trans woman who looks like one of these trans men needs to piss. a woman with stubble and short hair and muscly shoulders. #SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO PISS IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM. even if she doesn't look like a cis woman. #if a trans dude looks like a girl he still doesn't belong in the ladies unless he personally feels the need to go there for his safety #if someone is not actively bothering you harassing you or treating you with aggression it's not really any of your business is it #maybe that's a trans man. maybe that's a trans woman. maybe that's a woman or dyke on T. maybe that's a cis woman who just looks masculine. #who gives a shit? a key factor in ladies bathrooms is that they have fucking cubicles. unless someone is making it your business it's not. #and if they are then the problem isn't that they're the Wrong Sex/Gender it's that they're behaving badly/disrespectfully/threateningly #which is also a problem when cis women do it!!!!!

[tollingreminiscentbells]

In the defense of bottom!Voldemort|Tom

I'm in a mood, so I've decided to break down my thoughts on this topic and I'm putting it in the tags for anyone who is interested. With a suitably melodramatic title.

The rules here are simple: if you know you won't like this, don't read it. If you read it anyway and don't like it, that is the definition of a you problem. Okay? Okay.

So let's talk about why I think it is incorrect and, frankly, offensive to claim that Voldemort|Tom bottoming is inherently out of character.

In order to have this conversation, we're actually having a bigger conversation about sex. Because that's really what this is about.

Something that has popped up in a handful of comments on my own fic is surprise that Voldemort wants to suck Harry's cock. Now, I'm going to be charitable and assume that the people who say things like this don't realize what they're implying. But the reality is that they are operating from the assumption that a man sucking another man's dick is, at least to some extent, weak and degrading. A subservient act.

This is both homophobic and factually untrue. A significant percentage of people who like dick also like giving blowjobs. It's an enjoyable, pleasurable thing to do. And even if the physical act of sucking cock doesn't turn someone on, there are so many other reasons to want to do it. Getting off on being the source of your partner's pleasure, for one example.

But let's move on to the elephant in the room: anal sex. Specifically, the act of being penetrated. The interesting thing about bottoming is that, contrary to what some people seem to believe, it's the more powerful position. Penetration is only happening because the person bottoming is granting permission. Even if that person has ceded total control of the encounter, the fact remains that they made that decision in the first place and could un-make it at any time.

If that agency does not exist, the sex is not truly consensual. Full stop.

Moreover, a strong, dominant personality =/= topping. There is no innate correlation. This is where misogyny really comes to the table. Bottoming seen as a feminine act, and femininity conflated with weakness and submission. Do I think (most) Tomarrymort readers are consciously thinking this way? No. But that doesn't mean the underlying bias isn't present.

There are so many ways penetrative sex can play out. Yes, you get the "classic" version of the person topping being dominant and the person bottoming being submissive. But you can also get topping from the bottom, where the dominant partner in every way is the person being fucked. Or maybe no one is taking a dominant role. Et cetera. This is a broad overview, not an exhaustive list.

Do you see what none of these things have? An assumption that topping=stereotypical masculinity and bottoming=stereotypical femininity. Even with a couple that likes playing with that flavor of gender roles, it's a choice they're making. And before someone willfully misunderstands me, there is nothing wrong with that choice. But don't mistake it for something it's not.

So now that we've clarified that being penetrated is not weak, degrading, or even inherently submissive, let's bring this back to Tomarrymort.

First of all, have you read the books? Voldemort is campy as shit. High drama and a surprisingly great sense of humor (his jokes are fucked up, but also pretty funny). He's not this hyper-masculine figure. On the flip side, Harry is not an effeminate man. He's a jock who will fight you.

So from whence comes this zealous dedication some people have to a fixed dynamic that puts Voldemort|Tom in the masculine role and Harry in the feminine role? Yes, we've established that sex positions are neither of those things, but we all know that's the assumption simmering toxically in the background.

I can't say for sure, but my instincts tell me that it comes from a shallow read of both characters. Voldemort is a powerful man who commands a terrorist organization. Harry is the good-hearted hero, defined by his capacity to love. And this can get twisted into Voldemort|Tom taking and Harry giving in a very reductive way. Even when the relationship is meant to be consensual.

Obviously, I don't think this is universal. I've read a lot of incredible takes on sex in this fandom, with different top/bottom/switching dynamics. And this is fanfiction, which means you can play with characterization to your heart's content. What I'm talking about is people insisting that Voldemort|Tom must top and Harry must bottom and anything else is wrong.

Why are you so adamant about that? Have you ever given it a moment's thought? If you prefer it, you prefer it, that's all fine. But when it morphs into claiming that bottom!Voldemort|Tom is out of character and bad, things have crossed over into the arena of the absurd. Like what you like, but be aware of what you're really saying when you talk about sex.

Not conflating bottoming with weakness and topping with strength would be a good starting point. Understand that there are myriad reasons a person might want to bottom. It can be a source of relief, allowing someone else to take control so you don't have to. It can be an act of manipulation. It can be a form of domination. And sometimes it's just because bottoming is what feels good and they have more fun that way. Or it's just the kind of pleasure they're in the mood for on a random Tuesday night.

No one is telling you to read things you don't enjoy. And no one is saying that fixed top/bottom dynamics don't exist in the real world. But it's ridiculous to apply a fixed dynamic to such a degree that you get upset when other people write something else and consider a fic "ruined" by it. You really should put some thought into your biases. It's good for you. But even if you don't, when you claim a sexual dynamic is inherently out of character, you're actually just wrong. So stop doing that. It will be a net gain for all of us, including you.

#harrymort #tomarrymort #it's time for a sex talk #i prefer to write switching but there is no hierarchy here

[fozmeadows]

As someone who hasn't read the works of radical feminists like Simone de Beauvoir, could you explain what's wrong and what bothers you about biological essentialism? I'm curious about your opinion after reading your post on radfems (and I'd like a perspective that isn't so based on biological gender essentialism, which I honestly have a hard time moving away from because I don't understand other perspectives well). 👀

The problem with biological essentialism is that purports to answer the eternally unanswered question of nature vs nurture in a wholly one-dimensional way - ie, with biological sex as The Single Most Important Aspect Of Personhood, regardless of any other considerations - while simultaneously ignoring the fact that biological sex is not, in fact, a binary proposition. We've learned in recent decades, for instance, that intersex conditions are much more common and wide-ranging than previously thought, not because scientists have arbitrarily changed the definitions of what counts as an intersex condition, but because our understanding of hormones, chromosomes, karyotpying and other physical permutations has expanded sufficiently to merit the shift. So right away, the idea that humanity is composed of Biological Men and Biological Women with absolutely no ambiguities, overlap or middle ground simply isn't true. Inevitably, though, if you mention this, people with a vested interest in biological essentialism become immediately defensive. They'll start saying things like, oh, but that's only a tiny minority of the population, they're outliers, they don't count, as though their argument doesn't derive its claim to authority from a presumed universality. To use a well-worn example, redheads are also a tiny minority of the population, but that doesn't mean we exclude them when talking about the range of natural human hair colours. But the fact is, even if humans lacked chromosomal diversity beyond XX/XY; even if there were no cases of cis men with internal ovaries or cis women with internal testes or people with ambiguous genitalia - and let's be clear: all of these things exist - the fact is, our individual hormones are in flux throughout our lives.

There are standard ranges for estrogen and testosterone in men and women (which, again, vary according to age and some other factors), but two cis men of the same age and background could still have completely different T-counts, for instance - meaning, even the supposed universal gender factor isn't universal at all. More, while our hormones certainly play a major role in our moods and cognition, so do a ton of other genetic and bodily factors that have nothing to do with the sex we're assigned at birth - and on top of that, there's nurture: the cultural contexts in which we're raised, plus our more individual experiences of living in the world. One of the most common, everyday (and yet completely bullshit) permutations of biological essentialism comes when parents or would-be parents talk about their reasons for wanting a son or a daughter. Very often, there's a strong play to stereotypical assumptions about shared interests and personalities: I want a son to play football with me, for instance, or: I want a daughter to be my shopping buddy. But even within the most mainstream channels of cishet culture, it's understood that these hopes are not, in fact, grounded in any sort of biological certainty. The dad who wants a sporty son might be just as likely to end up with a bookworm, while the mother who wants a little princess might find herself with a tomboy. We know this, and our stories know this! For the entirety of human history - for as long as we've been writing about ourselves - we have records of parental disappointment in the failure of this child or that to embody what's expected of them, gender-wise. More than that: if biological essentialism was real - if men were only and ever One Type Of Man, and women were only and ever One Type Of Woman, with recent progressive moments the sole anonymous blip in an otherwise uniform historical standard - then why is there so much disparity and disagreement throughout human history as to what those roles are? The general conception of women espoused in medieval France is thoroughly different to that espoused in pre-colonial Malawi, for instance, and yet we're meant to believe that there's some innate Gender Template guiding all human beings to behave in accordance with a set, immutable biological binary? And that's before you factor in the broad and fascinating history of trans and nonbinary people throughout history - because despite what TERFs and conservative alarmists have to say on the matter, our records of trans people, and of societies in which various trans and nonbinary identities were widely understood (if not always accepted), are ancient. We know about trans priestesses from thousands of years before Christ; the Talmud has terms describing eight different genders, and those are just two examples. All over the world, all throughout history, different cultures have developed radically different concepts of femininity and masculinity, to say nothing of designations outside of, overlapping with or in between those categories - socially, legally, behaviourally, sexually - and yet we're meant to believe that biology is at all times nudging us towards a set, ideal gender template? There's a lot more I could say, but ultimately, the point is this: people are different. While some aspects of our personhood are inevitably influenced by genetics, hormones, chromosomes and other biological factors, we're also creatures of culture and change and interpersonal experience. The idea that men and women are fundamentally different, even diametrically opposed, at a biological level - that the major separator in terms of our personalities and interests isn't culture, upbringing and personal taste, but what's between our legs - is just... so reductive, and so inaccurate.

We can absolutely have common experiences on the basis of a shared gender, but gender is not the only possible axis of commonality between two people, let alone the most salient one at all times, and the idea that we're all born on one side of an immutable biological equation that cannot possibly be transcended makes me feel insane. According to modern biological essentialism, intersex, trans and nonbinary people are either monstrous, mistakes or imaginary; all men are fundamentally predisposed to violence, all women are designed for motherhood, and we're meant to just hew to our designated places - which, conveniently, tend to echo a very specific form of Christian ideology, but which in any case manifestly fail to account for how variedly gender has been presented throughout history. It's nuts.

#foz answers things #gender #feminism #biological essentialism #history #sociology

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

idk if this is something you would answer but how do you unlearn shame of being horny 😵‍💫

hi anon,

this is a complex question. unlearning shame of any kind can take a long time to sort out, and will be driven more by internal work you do to challenge and shift your own thinking than by anything else.

a good place to start may be by doing some reflection as to what you find shameful about being horny in the first place and working back from there to recognize sexuality and desire as morally neutral things.

for instance, I get a fair number of people asking if it's okay to think about real people that they know when they're horny, or masturbate to fantasies about those people. they feel a lot of shame about this, as if they're causing harm to these people by imagining them in sexual scenarios. but making up funny little scenarios in your head to nut to is a harmless act that only you will ever know about. it's not like whipping out your dick (gender neutral) and masturbating at strangers on public transit; what you do to get off in your private time only impacts you.

a problem would only arise if you decided to start treating your real, actual acquaintance, not the imaginary sexy version of them, differently, for instance by making untoward comments about their body, treating them as if they are obligated to be interested in spending time together or having sex with you, or, god forbid, telling them in detail about your sexual fantasies. now you're doing sexual harassment, which is inappropriate because of the hurt and discomfort is causes the recipient. being horny isn't the problem here, it's how you're treating another person.

people also feel a lot of shame around many other types of fantasies, especially if they involve dynamics that are off-limits or illegal in real life. often, the worry seems to be that being aroused by these imagined scenarios is akin to expressing support for these things to happen in real life.

listen: sexual fantasies about rape are some of the most commonly reported among cis women, and that's not because tons and tons of cis women secretly think that rape is a cool thing that should happen more. the people playing Baldur's Gate 3 and fucking Halsin while he's wildshaped into a bear aren't all chomping at the bit to commit a sex crime against a real animal. noticing that "teenage" characters on TV played by actors in their 20s and 30s are hot does not make anyone a pedophile. fiction is a safe realm to explore and enjoy things that we would never in a million years want to see happen in real life. I love Batman, but I can assure you I would not be a happy camper if a real-life billionaire started running around doing vigilantism in a fursuit while endangering a gaggle of teenage sidekicks.

and if you want to explore some of the stuff you're into in real life, awesome! great! there are ways to go about negotiating a lot of different kinks safely and responsibly (although probably not the bear thing, sorry about that). the world is full of people who want the experience of being stalked, beat up, kidnapped, and sexually assaulted - all mediated through pre-negotiated arrangements with people that they have chosen to enact these fantasies with them. so what is there to be ashamed of in that situation? sure, the situation you're engaging in might sound scary without proper context, but so do a lot of things. a stranger cutting open my skin, very likely causing bleeding, and leaving me with a mark that I'll have for the rest of my life sounds scary, and it definitely would be if it wasn't a situation that I agreed to! but that's also what getting a tattoo is, and that's an experience that I love so much that I pay for the pleasure. nothing to feel bad about there as long as you're playing safely!

listen: there's nothing wrong with being horny. the human sex drive is a completely natural one born from biological need that makes getting off feel good. there's no more sense in feeling shame about being horny than there is in feeling shame about being hungry or needing rest, although people do of course manage to feel bad about those as well. regardless of what causes it, when you feel the shame well up you have to push back on it and ask yourself who actually directly benefits from you feeling badly about yourself in that moment, and who is actually tangibly hurt by the actions you're shaming. and if the answer is "no one," move it along!

#sex edventures 2024

[gloomy0x0phantom]

Straw Hat Pirates ☆ Sexuality, relationship

Hi there! It's my first time posting a headcanon, I'm so nervous! English is not my first language, I use a translator, so don't hesitate to correct me and if you like what I write, I'd love a little comment~ ✧ these headcanons are related to the manga/anime. I have different headcanons for x readers (●'◡'●)

tw : mention of sex, genital, masturbation

Monkey D. Luffy ☆ Demisexual

✧ At first, I wrote that Luffy is an aromatic asexual, but after finishing his part, I realized it didn't work. I was thinking he is clueless all the time, that he had no interest in sex, borderline disgusted by it, but... no? ✧ Luffy loves sex, he just hasn't discovered it yet! ✧ Unsurprisingly, he's never been in a relationship and isn't looking for one. He's married to the adventure and the one piece ✧ Luffy is completely lost when it comes to love, romance, sex, relationships... Don't get me wrong, in friendship he's the best friend you could ever wish to have, but being in love with him is a real pain in the ass. Boa Hancock is the proof, poor thing. At the same time, falling in love with a 17-year-old when she was 29, uh... that's her problem. ✧ Chopper and Robin tried to explain the whole act of lovemaking, how babies are created, why he sometimes wakes up with an erection - in short, the basics of attraction, sex and hormones. It was a failure. Luffy understands the words spoken to him, but is unable to see why it concerns him. My boi feels nothing 99.9% of the time. ✧ Chopper wanted to continue the conversation, but Robin suddenly realised what was going on. "Luffy, when you see breasts or a penis, muscles and butts, does your body get hot? Does it make you feel very happy and excited?" "Nah." ✧ The whole crew "knows" his sexuality, they all think Luffy is asexual, but it's not their fault, even him thinks he's completely asexual. ✧ He doesn't jerk off. He's more excited about the One Piece than naked humans and I totally get it. ✧ When the Straw Hats talk about love and potential future partners, it bores their captain to no end. People have tried to figure out what Luffy is looking for in a partner, but it's all a blur to him. ✧ Luffy is passionate, he always gives his all in everything he does, he's ready to die for his dream and his friends, he prioritizes the One Piece and his crew. He wants a partner who's like him and shares the same values. And who can cook!

Roronoa Zoro ☆ Demisexual, gay

✧ Zoro knows he's gay, but he doesn't know he's demisexual. ✧ To be honest, Zoro doesn't know when he discovered his sexuality. He's always had a thing for strong spirits, bodies shaped by hours of training, solid values and someone who can take care of themselves in a fight. A woman can very well have these traits, but they're not the ones who capture the swordsman's attention. ✧ Zoro is not familiar with the various terms of the LGBTQ+ community, pronouns, gender, it's a very abstract concept to him and above all, useless. He doesn't understand why people try to put a label on their foreheads and put themselves in a box. You're straight? Ok. You're gay? Cool. You were born in a man's body, but you're a woman? All right. He doesn't give a shit what you've got between your legs or what you like (unless it's illegal). ✧ It's no secret that he's gay, but he doesn't talk about it openly. He embraces who he is, but he doesn't want to discuss it. What he likes and what he wants is nobody's business but his own. ✧ He's never expressed his orientation and preferences out loud, but he's sure Nami, Robin, Brook and Franky know. ✧ He's never been in a relationship. ✧ He had two one-night stands, only to discover that it wasn't enjoyable. Yes, the act itself was okay, only because he was emptying his balls into a hole and not into his hand, but the experience was never fun enough to make him want to do it again. ✧ When he fucked strangers, Zoro felt disconnected from the act. His body moved, but his head was empty, as if he were on autopilot. He wanted it to be over as quickly as possible and to leave without ever seeing the man again. After what he considers two failures, Zoro has simply crossed the possibility of sleeping with a stranger off his list. ✧ He knows he'd like a partner who knows him from A to Z. He doesn't want to waste his time with someone who might drop him after a few years. ✧ Zoro doesn't consider himself a romantic, but... ideally... in a perfect world... he'd like to find his soulmate and die by his side.

Nami ☆ Lesbian

✧ I'm sorry, but this girl NEVER liked men. ✧ She was the little girl who didn't want to play with baby dolls and was disgusted by the idea of marrying a boy. "Boy? ew!!!" ✧ When she lost her mother and joined Arlong, her hatred for men increased x1000. From then on, she was surrounded by men 24/7, and subconsciously, the words pirates and men became linked. Luckily, Luffy arrived and helped Nami out of her predicament. But strangely enough, her distaste for men never went away. Her prejudices are still as strong. ✧ It's silly, but Nami is the kind of person who realized her sexuality one night before bed. Like, "Oh. I like chicks. Cool." and fell asleep without ever thinking about it again. ✧ She accepts her love for women, but she does NOT want the world to know. Her friends ok, but their allies, the government and their enemies? Nop nop nop. ✧ Anything to do with her person, she prefers to keep a mystery. Why ? Because she doesn't want this information to be treated as a weakness. ✧ Nami is terrified of love. ✧ One day, she'd like to abandon herself in a woman's arms and experience true love, but she doesn't want to relive what happened with her mother. Losing someone dear to her, Nami doesn't think she could survive this misfortune a second time. ✧ As soon as Nami senses that she's developing a crush, she goes into sabotage mode and ends the relationship, forcing herself to forget her feelings, regardless of whether it hurts or not. It's her way of protecting her heart, but also the other person. ✧ She's the most sensitive of the crew and probably the one who'll suffer the most in terms of love. ✧ Her knees go weak when she meets a warm, maternal, smiling, strong and loyal woman. ✧ Nojiko suspects that her sister is a lesbian, but they've never discussed it. Nami is afraid her sister won't accept her, even though she knows it's totally ridiculous and that Nojiko only wants her happiness. ✧ Gazing at the stars one night, Nami opened up to Vivi and confessed her secret. Vivi reassured her that her confidence would be safe, and not to worry about her secret seeing the light of day. Vivi admits that she has never kissed anyone else. They shared a sweet kiss under the moon, their first, but not their last. ✧ Nami had hoped Vivi would stay with the Straw Hat crew, but... she's a princess and her kingdom needs her. Nami didn't allow herself to deal with the separation properly; she felt stupid for falling for a princess. ✧ While she was secretly crying one evening, Usopp joined her and comforted her, even though he didn't know why she was sad. He suspected it had something to do with Vivi, and he was right. After a long hour of silence and tears, Nami explained the situation to Usopp, who gave her a big hug. He explained that he understood how she felt, that leaving Kaya so suddenly had affected him and that he still missed her every day. Then that he felt foolish for falling for a girl so smart and rich, when he's nothing compared to her... After that moment, Nami and Usopp grew closer and share a unique bond.

Usopp ☆ Kayasexual Heterosexual

✧ This man has never questioned his sexuality. He loves women and he knows it, he's never doubted it. ✧ He's so comfortable with his orientation that he's not afraid to kiss and cuddle his best friends. ✧ TIME SPENT WITH THE BOYS IS IMPORTANT AND TREASURED. ✧ You know that person who is always touching his friends ass, and is borderline intimate with them, but 100% straight? Yeah, that's Usopp. ✧ He loves to piss Sanji off by kissing his cheeks and complimenting him in a very unsubtle way. "Oh Sanji, can you open this pickle jar with your so muscular arms?" "Oh you're so strong, so sexy, what would I do to have a brave knight like you?" "Oh no Sanji, I'm stuck, can you help me please? 🥺" Sanji hates him. ✧ He's never been in a relationship, but he's in love with Kaya. ✧ When he left Syrup Village, he thought he only loved her as a friend, but with distance and time... he realized that his feelings were a little stronger than friendship. He doesn't know if she loves him back and he thinks about it at least twice a day. Nami tried to reassure him, even though she's not 100% sure if the girl likes him, but how do you comfort a big scaredy-cat like Usopp? It's an impossible task. ✧ He's a virgin and he's not afraid to say it, he considers it nothing to be ashamed of. On the other hand, he masturbates whenever the opportunity arises, which he's a ashamed. He fantasizes about the day when Kaya and he will be reunited, their wedding, generally cute and intimate scenarios, he feels too guilty to imagine any other woman. ✧ Even if the chance presents itself to sleep with someone, he doesn't want to. He's saving himself for Kaya. ✧ If Kaya meets another man or doesn't share Usopp's feelings, he'll suffer for years. Please, he's pathetic and unable to move on. And rebuild his self-esteem? I swear, he'd rather die than live that reality. ✧ Usopp lies constantly, so when people ask him who Kaya is, oh boy, his description sounds downright like a lie, but it's not. He described her as a beautiful goddess straight from heaven, a delicate blonde with the most beautiful smile, a heart of gold, a perfect body... you and I both know that's no lie.

Sanji ☆ Bisexual (doesn’t accept it yet)

✧ I wrote Sanji last because oh boy, he's a disaster. I must point out that I'm in Dressrosa in the manga. So anything to do with Sanji's childhood, I don't talk about it.  ✧ We all know that Sanji loves women, it's not even a question. ✧ But men, hmm? hmmmmmm ? ✧ Sanji has always been a woman's man, admiring them from near and far, respecting them (while being a huge pervert) and dreaming of being stepped on by them. ✧ He's said to be in love with all the beautiful women in the world, but he's a little unsettled when a woman reciprocates his feelings. When a woman loves him back, he is almost... disappointed. He doesn't know how to react, so he goes with the flow and continues to compliment the woman in question, but deep down he feels awfully empty. This emptiness is made up of doubt, disappointment, fear and incomprehension. ✧ Does she really love me? No, she can't. She doesn't. I don't love her. I can't offer her what she's looking for, she can't satisfy all my needs. She only returns my feelings because I've made her believe I love her, but I don't. She's beautiful, but she hasn't got my heart, she's not for me. We're not compatible, what I feel for her isn't real, it's just a bunch of lies. She'll suffer with me, I might lose her, I'll suffer and she'll lose me. ✧ When he worked at Baratie, Sanji slept with a few women after closing time. All were pleasurable and positive experiences, but purely carnal. ✧ One evening, while he was a waiter, a young lady responded positively to his advances and a few hours later, they ended up kissing in a hallway. After a long make-out session, the woman gently pushed Sanji away. "Before we continue, I must warn you, I..." "Yes, ma douce?" (my sweet) After a moment's hesitation, Sanji noticed that the woman was lost in thought and didn't look well. "We can stop if you-" She took Sanji's hand and placed it on her crotch, where Sanji could clearly feel an erection. Surprise flashed across the blond's eyes and for a moment, his brain shut down. Seeing the cook's lack of response, the woman was hurt and tried to push him away, before he tackled her against a wall and kissed her forcefully, but passionately. His hand continued to caress the erection without thinking too much about the implication. He has a dick too, so... it shouldn't be much different, should it? The evening was perfect and left Sanji with many questions, but also a feeling of satisfaction. ✧ After this one-night stand, Sanji began to question his sexual preferences and became curious. If he enjoyed sleeping with a trans woman, would he enjoy sleeping with a... no. No, no and no. Impossible. Men are disgusting compared to women... but... ✧ To confirm his doubt, he slept with a man and didn't like the experience... Okay that's a lie, he loved it. All the new sensations he felt, he couldn't forget. But he told himself that it was probably an exception, that he'd had too much to drink (he hadn't) and that, in short, he was never going to sleep with a man again. Once again, a lie. ✧ When Sanji joined the Straw Hat Pirates, he didn't have the opportunity to sleep around like at the Baratie, but his existential crisis didn't stop. ✧ He couldn't help noticing Zoro working out. His muscles, his smell, his sweat… Usopp's hair, his long fingers, his back… Franky's speedo, his hairy legs, his abs… ✧ He was able to keep a low profile and not overly observe the other men in the crew, but after the timeskip? Not only had Nami and Robin become even more beautiful, but the men? More muscles, more hormones! ✧ Then his time on Momoiro Island only confused him even more about his sexuality... ✧ Deep down, Sanji loves men as much as women, but he hopes no one knows. ✧ Zoro knows it, Nami, Usopp, Brook, Franky and Robin suspect it.

Tony Tony Chopper ☆ Heterosexual

✧ Chopper loves reindeer women! ✧ Of all the members of the group, Chopper was the only one to forbid himself to think about love. He thought that love wasn't for a monster like him. He accepts his physique and his identity, but being surrounded by humans has led him to believe that he couldn't have a girlfriend, that it was an absurd idea. ✧ As Chopper traveled the oceans with the Straw Hat Pirates, he was relieved to meet people like himself! He didn't believe that hybrids existed outside his case, after all, he'd eaten a devil's fruit and those can't be duplicated. ✧ Zou is his paradise. ✧ Unfortunately I don't have much to say for our favorite doctor, he's a teenager and he likes women. But I can talk about his future! ✧ Have you seen his 40/60 year old design??? GORGEOUS. ✧ When the One Piece will be found and the crew will split up, Chopper will return to Zou and become a guardian. I sincerely believe this is the only place where he will be 100% himself and at peace with his animal side. In Zou, he'll be able to find a girlfriend. ✧ Chopper will have no trouble courting his future partner: he's delicate and takes great care of his loved ones, so it's impossible not to be charmed by him. However, he will have a hard time accepting attention and compliments in return. He will need to work on his lack of confidence. ✧ He is loyal and is looking for a partner who will support his profession, as well as help him manage his time so he doesn't end up like Law (workaholic).

Nico Robin ☆ Fictosexual

✧ ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF- ✧ Robin's childhood was tragic; the poor girl never had the chance to play with other children, to think like a child... to be a child! All her traumas prevented her from developing healthy relationships, until the arrival of Luffy. In her solitude, books were the only thing that made her feel a little human, a little alive. For a moment, Robin could put herself in the hero's shoes and escape into an imaginary world. By always turning to fantasy, Robin developed an attraction to fictional characters. ✧ Female, male, gender-neutral, cyborg? She has no preference, as long as they don't exist in the real world. ✧ Speaking of cyborgs, Robin has a soft spot for Franky, simply because he looks like something out of a book. His looks, his walk, his creations... how can you not be hooked on this robot? ✧ As shown in the anime, Robin has a great imagination! It wouldn't surprise me if she was also on the maladaptive daydreaming team. Before falling asleep, her mind is filled with romantic scenarios, often linked to the novel she's reading at the time. ✧ As much as she would like to have a partner, she finds it hard to imagine sharing her life with another person in a romantic and sexual way. ✧ On the other hand, she can imagine herself living with a partner in a platonic and friendly way, a bit like with her crew. ✧ After so many years of idealizing fictional characters, Robin has convinced herself that no one is worthy of her love, and vice versa. How can she satisfy a partner's needs if she's so broken inside? She's capable of taking care of her friends, but intimate love is an area that frightens her. ✧ Even if she thinks she's satisfied with her sexuality, deep down Robin would like to find a partner who will make her live a fairy tale... ✧ Her power allows her to masturbate in a unique way; she doesn't feel the need to have an unknown body pressing against hers to be satisfied and fulfilled. ✧ Nami is the only one on the boat who knows about this part of Robin. She was unaware of the existence of this type of sexuality and had a little difficulty assimilating the information, but after a long conversation with her precious friend, she now understands and accepts this orientation!

Franky ☆ Aromantic asexual

✧ Franky isn't interested in romance or sex. ✧ He doesn't want to be in a relationship, and can imagine himself spending the rest of his life alone... with his friends! ✧ In the past, he's tried to have crushes, because everyone has them, because it's normal, because it's the norm... right? ✧ He never felt embarrassed by his lack of interest in sex, until those around him started laughing at him in a friendly way. Little did they know that these jokes were tormenting the teenager. After a few tries with girlfriends, he found out that he was never able to reciprocate his partners' feelings. ✧ When he nearly died and became a cyborg to survive, Franky stopped wondering about his orientation and stopped looking for a girlfriend. It's a waste of time. Why would he waste his time courting people just to fit in? And since when has he tried to be like everyone else? Franky is unique and he knows it. ✧ Since that day, Franky has put an end to his search and decided to embrace the person he really is. ✧ Although his sexuality goes against the majority of the population, Franky is good at helping his friends when they have love problems! He's like the father of the crew; when someone's not feeling well emotionally, they can count on Franky, his dad jokes and his warm energy. ✧ Franky sees his orientation as a strength, because unlike the others, fighting a woman in a bikini or an undressed man does nothing for him. ✧ When Franky started modifying his body in extreme ways, he didn't need to think about what he was going to do with his crotch. His private parts are intact, but nothing is connected, so his body can't react. ✧ … but also I imagine him to be heterosexual, who loves sex (super romantic) and HIMBO.

Brook ☆ Asexual, heterosexual

✧ My boi is dead, he can’t feel shit… most of the time. ✧ During his lifetime, Brook was very active! He was a great charmer and liked to share his nights with different ladies. He slept with a man once and it wasn't his cup of tea. This skeleton is open-minded! ✧ His life as a pirate kept him away from settling down and start a family. He planned to end his days in peace with a beautiful wife, children and Laboon, but as you know, death caught up with him. ✧ After his death, his sexual attraction disappeared. Without organs and blood, it's hard to feel anything in the crotch area. But but but but! His love for women never left him. ✧ During the timeskip, Brook was blessed by the presence of groupies to keep him company. He felt valued and happy to have beautiful ladies by his side. He couldn't please them the way he would have liked, but he discovered that he didn't need his dick to get pleasure. ✧ That's right, Brook has discovered that he LOVES to satisfy his partners with his hands, fingers, femur, objects... if you know what I mean. If you want, I'll elaborate in a nsfw headcanon ~ ✧ Although he can't get a boner, Brook is able to get nosebleeds and feel heat in his bones. It's a strange experience to know that he's mentally aroused by certain things, like panties, but feeling empty. It's like a phantom pain. ✧ For the time being, Brook has no desire to be in a relationship. He'll wait until the end of the adventure, go back on tour and when that day comes, he'll allow himself to think about finding a serious partner. ✧ I imagine him becoming a sort of sugar daddy, showering his sugar baby with money and offering her everything she wants. In exchange for a little love and cuddles, of course!

#one piece #one piece headcanons #straw hat pirates #straw hat pirates headcanons #monkey d. luffy #monkey d. luffy headcanons #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro headcanons #zoro headcanons #nami #nami headcanons #usopp #usopp headcanons #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji headcanons #tony tony chopper #tony tony chopper headcanons #nico robin #nico robin headcanons #franky #franky headcanons #brook #brook headcanons

[ghouljams]

You're probably getting tired of answering asks about the omegaverse universe, but I'm just so in love with how you said that the endotypes were on a spectrum, because I've never been able to quite express that thought, but it's definitely something I've thought too!

I find it a fun idea that an alpha that may act all big and tough is actually extremely submissive in bed, or vice versa with an omega that might seem gentle or compliant, but then is demanding or dominant when having sex. Each person is their own individual with their own personality and sexual interests.

But I also really like the idea of betas being the exact same as an alpha or omega, just without a high enough level of the A or B hormone to have their own little "classification". They're just as capable of reproducing as an alpha or omega, but don't have enough of the hormones required to develop the traits for knots etc. I wonder if people in universe like to think that a beta's place in the pack is to essentially manage the group while the alpha and omega members are vulnerable during their heat/rut, hence why the stereotype of them being calm and unflappable.

I also really love the idea that the concept of gender in the omegaverse is very relaxed compared to that in our world.

Yeah! I've always loved playing with the idea of alphas/omegas that don't fit the traditional omegaverse roles, because humans are so freaking variable that it's hard to say anyone acts one way all the time. Let alphas be subs, let omegas be doms, let betas have literally any characteristics other than "not alpha or omega."

Here's how I view pack dynamics and I'm going to use the 141 as our pack model.

Starting with the high spectrum members of the pack:

Alphas. Not always the head of the pack! They're micromanagers, they need everything to be just so and get anxious when things aren't the way their brain is telling them they should be. They're the bedrock support of the pack, they're the one you go to when you need help with something. They're in tune with the atmosphere and needs of their pack, and strive to keep everyone stable as best they can. Highly reactive to their surroundings they tend to be rash decision makers, favoring being quick and decisive peace keepers over being entirely rational. It takes practice for an alpha to lose some of the overbearing need to help. Price is a classic alpha, he needs his orders followed, he needs everyone in order, and he knows when things are falling out of whack. Price is the man you go to first with a problem because you know he'll solve it quickly and with little mess.

Ghost has a lot of alpha tendencies: He isn't territorial like typical omegas, he tends to lean more towards anxiety when he isn't getting his way, he's not great at the emotional stuff but he'll problem solve if you need him to. He's a micromanager that keeps to himself, but also physically cannot be a lone wolf for too long before that desire for stability kicks in and he finds himself sitting with Soap napping on his shoulder.

Betas. True Betas are rare, most people don't have perfectly equal hormones, but the general "unflappable" comes from that. They're not active or reactive, they think their decisions through and use the resources at their disposal to come to the best outcome. This also ends up with a lot of brute forcing their way through emotional issues, but if the house is burning down they're the ones grabbing an extinguisher while alphas worry over the pack and omegas worry over the house. Betas serve a lot of roles in a pack, but most importantly they're the glue that holds everything together. A pack without a beta or two is setting itself up for failure. They're mutable, versatile, and most importantly they have you back if anything goes wrong.

Gaz is the perfect example of a beta. He has strong morals, but he's also deeply rational and will argue with Price if he thinks he's making the wrong call. He's able to keep his emotions in check to get the job done, and at the end of the day he's the one that can best adapt to the situation at hand. He's invaluable to the team and able to switch between different spectrum needs depending on the situation.

Omegas. You do not want to fuck with an omega on a bad day. The true heads of the pack in a traditional sortie(family/friend group) they're the emotional support and another decision maker for the group. Where alphas think big, omegas think small. They're looking at the minutia of the pack, thinking through what's best for the individual not the group as a whole. More active than reactive, they tend to think their decisions through before delivering the final verdict. This can lead to a lot of indecisive omegas, which is why having a beta around is important. Omegas will always be the first to initiate conversations and conflicts, sometimes sticking their nose where it doesn't belong and getting in trouble. They're great at bringing issues to the surface, not always great at the actual problem solving afterwards(cue the alpha).

Despite being an alpha leaning beta, I think Soap has the best grasp on omega pack positioning. In my mind he's a middle child in a big family, and had to learn to deal with emotional conflict early on. He's good at getting feelings out of people, working through conversations that need to be had and thinking rationally through the moves he's making. I think about the MW2 campaign and Soap being the one to make calls with Ghost's guidance: Soap is a decision maker, but he's also trying to keep the mood light. I think Ghost was surprised to find out that the omega he was talking to over comms was actually closer to being an alpha lol.

Ghost is a flip flopper on the scale, his hormones directly reacting to his stress and trauma, giving him the best opportunities for survival in every situation. He's got a weird mix of omega and alpha instincts: he's deeply territorial(omega) but only about people(alpha), he's not great at the emotional shit(beta lol) but he also starts getting anxious when the pack is having disagreements(omega), he tends to be overbearing(alpha) but he's also a highly rational decision maker(omega). He's an omega that has been forced to slide up the scale in order to survive, only going back to his normal when he feels safe.

Anyway I hope this was interesting to people, these are just my thoughts for my omegaverse. Not my thoughts on the traditional au.

#ghoul speaks #omegaverse #a/b/o

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Her: Chapter One.

I haven't been able to decide if this is worth publishing, so here's chapter one of that story I posted the prologue for. This is from Richie's pov though, as will be the next one.

Please please give me feedback on this, please. It would mean so much to me.

CW- Blatant Gender Stereotypes, Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri being the worst, transphobia, queerphobia, impulsive decisions, parental arguing

She'd have to go to her uncle Jerry's just about every week. Her parents were working, and Jerry either wasn't, or could take her with him, being a journalist and all. 

She used to look up to her uncle Jerry. She thought what he did was so cool. 

In the summers, her parents took turns for who would go to work on the weekends, always telling her that Uncle Jerry was away. She didn’t know why. 

Until she turned thirteen. That was when Uncle Jerry decided she was old enough to learn about sex and gave her a pamphlet on abstinence. 

Nevermind the fact that half the shit in it was fear mongering, which she knew because she'd already gotten sex education from both her mother and her school. It was just a real weird thing to do. 

That's when she learned that those few weeks she was watched by her parents, it was because Jerry was off running an abstinence camp with Jeri, who she immediately figured out he'd had sex with. 

At this point, whenever she came over, she'd be bombarded by Girl Jeri, who claimed it was her job to teach her how to be a proper lady, since her mother obviously wasn't going to. 

She looked down at her clothes when girl Jeri motioned to today, as if they proved her point. 

What was so bad about what she was wearing?

"What's wrong with this?"

"Oh, darling..." Jeri's tone was inherently condescending. "Where did you get those shoes?"

"These?" She looked down at her blue and grey sneakers. "I dunno, they were a gift. They're cool though, I like them."

"Sweetie, look at my shoes." She did. She thought they were called ballet flats? 

"Those don't look very comfortable," She said, narrowing her eyes. Girl Jeri put her hand on her arm. 

"They're not," She said, her hollow voice filled with agony. "But that doesn't matter, since we won't be doing hard work anyway."

"We... what?"

"And these shorts."

"What's wrong with my shorts?" She asked, extra annoyed now. "You wore shorts and sneakers at Camp Idontwannabang, why is it a problem now!"

"Well, we're not in the forest right now, are we?"

"Jesus fucking christ..."

The room went silent at her mutter. She looked up to see both Jerys looking at her with wide eyes. 

"Jerry, why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" Jeri asked, stage whispering. She could hear it very clearly. 

"I didn't know! It's not my fault my brother married a-a seductress! I tried to stop him!" She covered her mouth to muffle her snicker. "I aughta wash her hands in a river!"

It wasn't the weirdest uncle Jerry threat she'd ever heard. 

"Okay sweetie, uh, what about this jacket then?" Jeri asked her, wrapping her hand around the hem. 

"Oh, this isn't mine. I'm borrowing it from a friend. I was really cold the other day, so he's letting me keep it for the weekend.”

“When you say friend, do you mean boyfriend?” Jerry asked.

“I dunno Uncle Jerry, when you say friend, do you mean Girlfriend?” She asked, eyeing the Jerys. 

This certainly threw them off, which definitely proved her theory further. She smirked as they sputtered corrections, saying how she was just so absurd and out of line.

So worth it. 

“That didn’t answer my question,” Jerry said stiffly. 

“I think it did,” She said, “And if it didn’t, maybe you two should talk about your relationship. I mean, who are you to have any dictation over my life and my relationships, if your very own closest relationship is undefined and messy? Won’t that just make my relationships undefined and messy?”

Her relationship with Max was already undefined and messy. They were dating, but they definitely weren’t actually dating. But they still acted like they were dating. They held hands and they held each other close.

Actually, no. She had to remind herself, her relationship with Max wasn’t undefined and messy. They were friends. But publicly, people would think they were dating so that she wouldn’t be harassed as much. 

She looked scrawny, even though she wasn’t. She was lonely, even though she was on the swim team. She often wondered why it was that men on a team together meant automatic friendship, but for women it didn’t mean anything. It just meant that they were on a team. 

Not that swimming was a team sport. Not like football, or soccer, or basketball, or just about any other sport Max was in. 

People thought she’d make a good victim. They didn’t think about how she was best friends with one of the strongest people in town, and that he cared about her enough that he’d fight people who he’d once considered his closest friends. 

In fact, most of the people who harassed her were close to Max. Well, close like guy friends, not close like she and Max were. She knew everything about Max’s home life, what went on with his dad, what happened to his mother, even that he wasn’t even that into sports.

She taught him how to play chess and she allowed him to be childish with her, since his childhood was stolen from him pretty early. 

“Okay, look, none of this is important!” Jeri said, swerving the topic with very little grace, “All I’m saying is that you’re a beautiful girl, why do you wear boy clothes and cover that up.” 

“Because I like ‘boy’ clothes,” She said, explicitly using air quotes to bother them.

“Does your mother wear boy clothes?” Jeri asked exasperatedly. 

“I mean, sometimes?” She responded. “I don’t know what boy clothes are!”

“At least your hair is still long and beautiful,” Jeri said, reaching out to touch her hair. “A woman's hair is her grace of god, you know?” 

“Sure,” She said sarcastically. 

“Maybe we can play with it a little bit. Make you more feminine.” 

“Whatever.” She was just so tired of this already. 

They set up a chair in Jerry’s bathroom, and Jeri dragged her in front of a mirror. The hairbrush pulled painfully and Jeri’s fingernails scraped against her scalp.

When she was dropped off at home, she was exhausted and nauseous. 

She never really had her ‘girlhood’ shoved in her face like that before. Her mom was never like that. Her mom always indulged in her interests and didn’t push anything. The most her dad ever did was nudge her in a girly direction. 

She hadn’t even considered her long hair a girly thing before now. Despite the length, people confused her for a boy all the time. 

Probably had something to do with her oversized clothes and constant layering, otherwise she’d be pinned as a girl immediately. 

“Oh my, pumpkin, you look so beautiful,” Her father said when she walked in. She looked down at the braids falling over her shoulders, one on each. 

“Thanks,” She mumbled. 

She didn’t want to look beautiful. Not like that. 

“Are you okay?” Her mother asked.

“I’m just tired.”

“Okay, well, why don’t you head up to bed. Jerry kept you far too long, you have school tomorrow,” Her father said. 

“One more week!” Her mother said, trying to cheer her up slightly. 

She smiled weakly before climbing the stairs to get to her room. 

When she got there, she plucked the stupid butterfly clips from the top of her dutch braids and let them fall to the floor as her hands moved down to take out the hairthings that held her braids in. Her jaw was tight and her throat hurt. 

She ran her fingers down the length of the braids before shaking her head violently to get rid of them. 

Jeri had recommended sleeping in them, to give them a pretty wave. She actually had curly hair, but it only started when it got down to her chin. 

Granted, she regretted it immediately. She couldn’t decide which was worse, the weight of braids sitting on her shoulders, or the feeling of her hair on her neck. 

She kicked off her shoes and fell onto her bed and tried to sleep. 

She couldn’t say how long she laid there, but when she left her room again, her parents were asleep and all the lights were off. 

She tucked herself back into her bedroom after walking around the quiet house. She shut her door quietly and turned the light on revealing her reflection in the mirror on her door. 

She didn’t feel like she looked like her anymore. She was at peace with her appearance before, but it was different now. 

Now, she associated her hair with femininity, not the warm feeling it gave in the cold michigan winter. She ran her fingers along her jaw, noticing its round appearance for the first time. Max didn’t have a jaw like that. Max’s jaw was square and strong. 

She ran her fingers through her hair, catching the knots. 

She didn’t realise she was holding back tears until her vision blurred. Tears rushed down her face, and she was once again reminded that life is not an anime, and tears don’t fall off your chin, they just drip down your neck. 

You know the fun thing about making your own bookmarks? You have scissors on hand. 

Her desk was right next to her door. And she knew she shouldn’t have done it, but she picked up a pair of scissors, gripped her hair and cut about a third of her hair away. 

And then, with a chunk of hair in one hand, and a pair of crappy craft scissors in the other, she looked at herself again. 

What had she done…

She dropped the scissors and the large chunk of hair and stumbled back onto the floor. She scrambled back until her back was against her bed, still staring at herself in the mirror. She didn’t notice the various items fall to the floor from her desk or her bookshelf or her nightstand as she scrambled back, but it was enough to draw her mother into the room. 

“What…” Her mother stopped talking once the door was open, seeing the sight of her child.

She was sitting with her legs up to her knees, her back resting against the drawers of her bed. Her Asuka pillow had fallen to the floor from her bed, along with trinkets from her shelves and pencils from her desk. 

“Oh my goodness,” He mother breathed, joining her child on the floor. “Honey…” She brushed her fingers along the ends of her child’s hair. “If you wanted to cut your hair, you could’ve just asked,” She said, a bit more lighthearted than it should’ve been. 

“I didn’t know until today,” She said quietly. 

“Oh,” Her mother said. “Well, that’s okay.” 

“I hate the Jerys,” She cried, falling toward her mom. 

“Oh, sweetie,” Her mother responded, “Me too.” 

She was able to laugh through her tears, but only for a moment. 

“Don’t make me go back next weekend,” She pleaded. 

“I won’t,” Her mother responded. “Your dad might fight me on it, but I won’t.”

They stayed like that for a while before they got up and fixed her room. They then moved to the bathroom, where her mom carefully cut off the remaining length of her hair. 

“We can bring you to a salon in the morning, okay?” 

“I…” Her voice creaked again. “Do I have to go back to school in the morning?” She asked. 

“I’m not going to make you go to school like this,” Her mom said, fairly stern. “If you want to, you can, but I won’t make you.”

“Thank you.”

Her mom followed through, taking her to a salon the next day. Luckily, there was no chance of any of her classmates seeing her, since they were all in school and not getting haircuts to help their mental breakdown from the day before. 

Her hair went over her forehead in a very late 2000s, early 2010s fashion, long enough to tuck behind her ear on one side, though she usually just let it rest next to her eye.

She didn’t go back to school the next day either. She mostly just stayed inside and slept. She’d read manga on her phone, despite having physical copies of them on her shelf. She’d eat instant ramen and cereal and whatever her parents prepared for dinner, all in her bedroom.

When her parents arrived home from their respective workplaces, she could hear them fight. 

“I don’t want her going over to Jerry’s anymore, it’s not good for her.”

“The Jerys are only doing what’s best for her. She needs to learn how to be a woman before it’s too late. You never did.”

“There’s no right way to be a woman— and not once has our child stated to us that they are a woman!”

She froze at that.

What else would she be? This was her, this is how she was born, she had to be a woman. 

Even though, when she looked in the mirror now, she felt more comfortable than she’d ever been. Not necessarily comfortable, but more comfortable. 

But, her lack of hair made her focus in on the other things that made her look girly. Her eyelashes and jawline and her figure. She didn’t like those things about her. 

“You have to stop trying to push that stuff on her, she’s going to get something in her head, and we won’t be able to fix it!”

“There wouldn’t be anything to fix! There’d be nothing wrong with them!”

“You already cut her hair, don’t go making her think she can call herself a boy for the rest of her life!”

“They can do whatever they want; it’s their life!”

You: Mom and dad are fighting again

She didn’t click send. She’d typed out many messages to send to Max, and never sent any of them. 

The next day, the fighting started gentler. She had to press her ear to the door in order to hear it.

“Maybe we should talk to your other brother.”

She furrowed her brows. Other brother?

“No, he’s riddled with sin.”

“Jesus— Being bisexual isn’t a sin, it’s just being bisexual.”

“If you can call it that,” Her dad said. “He says he’s bisexual, but I’ve never seen him interested in anyone.”

“I’m just saying, if our child is having trouble with their identity, maybe it would help to bring in someone who’s also struggled with their identity. I mean, come on, you cut him off years ago, just because he likes guys and girls? They’ve never even met, and they’re family.”

“I don’t want her getting sick too.”

“It’s not a sickness!” They heard their mother take a breath. “You don’t have to be a part of it, but I want them to meet.”

“Yeah, well, good luck getting in contact with him.”

Their mom approached them about it the next day.

Apparently they had another uncle named Paul, who their father had cut off when he moved out, for being bisexual. And apparently, it was very easy to get in contact with him. 

This was the same time their mother confided in them that she’d been talking to an attorney to help work through writing a divorce settlement. Which, would actually not be so hard, since their mom was smart enough to get a pre-nup.

“I want you to be able to talk to someone who’s gone through the same thing you’re going through,” Their mother said, “And someone else, in your family, who’s been borderline harassed by the Jerys about their identity? I think that’s pretty darn close.”

“Thank you,” They mumbled. “For… trying.”

“You’re my kid. This is my job.” She scooted closer to them. “The question is, how do you want to introduce yourself to Paul? Because we don’t have to use your name, we can use a different name. We could go for a neutral name for now, I’m sure that he wouldn’t mind if you changed it after that. I won’t.”

“I don’t know. Can I think about it?”

“Of course dear,” She said. “I’ll wait to contact him until you’re ready.”

The next day was the last day of school. 

They got many messages from Max asking where they were, extremely worried. They felt bad.

Not as bad as they knew they should.

What would Max think of them right now? They had no idea. 

That day, they spent on their bed, their laptop on their lap, scrolling through what must’ve been hundreds of neutral names before one caught their eye.

Kai.

#nerdy prudes must die #starkid #richie lipschitz #michie #max jagerman #i love richie #uncle paul matthews #uncle paul #boy jerry #girl jeri

[girlyjesusfreak]

I don't consider myself a radical feminist anymore.

Not because I don't believe in misogyny, sexism and patriarchy; I still believe and agree on many points, about surrogacy, pornography, s3x 'work', etc but because first of all radical feminism refuses religions, especially the Abrahamic ones, and I'm a Catholic woman, second of all because the community is SO toxic. The guilt trip is too much, they tell you what to think, what to say, how to say something, you cannot have your own opinion on something just because it doesn't perfectly align with the whole ideology. Feminism isn't about hating men, it's definitely not about men, it's about women, so I don't understand why they make it all about hating men, or picking up fights with men for stupid things. It's too extreme for me, I know a radical feminist in real life who thinks that babies could be made only by women without the "help" from any man, like babies made in labs, with only female cells, she doesn't think that a father isn't so important. Well he is, as someone who couldn't have a father because the Lord decided that his time was over, the father figure is important, I've struggled and still struggle everyday because of this missing figure during all my life, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who can confirm this. If babies come from a man and a woman there's a reason, women and men complete each other, the kids should have the possibility to have both sides of the medal, both sexes with their differences. You cannot private a kid of any important figure from their life. It's just selfish. She also makes me feel judged and insecure because I enjoy doing my make up, my hair and I shave. I don't care if someone shaves or not shaves their legs, but I obviously have a hormonal problem (I should get it checked 😭) and she had definitely much less hair than me, her hairs aren't even visible so it doesn't change for her, I need to get mine removed with the laser because they because a real issue for me, like socially.

Many feminists claim that men and women shouldn't shame women but often they're the first ones to do it. Actual feminism, in my opinion, isn't to denigrate women who don't agree with you or feel pity for them, it's about helping and supporting.

Another one said that whoever decides to have babies is selfish, not because of the uncertain future, but because having sex with a man or being impregnated by a man is misogynistic and because babies are a parassite or something stupid stuff. She said that, for a woman, having sex with a man is degratory and humiliating.

Another one said that veterans deserve all their PTSD, like are you human? Do you feel empathy? What the hell...

I don't wanna be considered part of a community where people say those things, I don't wanna be associated with them.

Many women in 3rd World countries are dying, being r4ped, molested and what western feminists care about is a 12 years old boy who makes a dumb comment on an Instagram reel? C'mon.

I've noticed that many so self called radfems only care about the "trans issue", don't get me wrong, I'm gender critical myself but it's not the only point of radical feminism, it's not the only topic. Being transphobic and being gender critical are two different things and I think that many people choose to use the term 'radfem' to cover their blatant hate. Knowing that biology is an objective reality and hating someone just because they suffer from gender dysphoria are two different things. As a Christian I try not to hate or judge, I try my best at least.

Also women who actually helped and cared about women didn't care about calling themselves "feminists", that's pretty prideful if you think about it. But that's just my opinion. I think that the term "feminist" should be earned.

I hope that this doesn't bother any feminist, it's just my self reflecting opinion.

That's all.

🩷

#feminism #radical feminism #christianity #catholic #roman catholic #christian faith #religion #spirituality

[sabakos]

I feel like there are trans people who have a "primary sex characteristic" dysphoria, where they feel "wrong" about their body even when they're single-digit aged, and there are trans people who have "secondary sex characteristic" dysphoria where the dysphoria doesn't set in until puberty. The former are much more prominent in the discourse and I think this leads a lot of people in the latter category to feel like they need to claim they "always felt this way" even when that isn't true, and that they won't be taken seriously if they admit that they never had a problem with being a "boy" until that involved growing up into a man, or vice versa.

And this latter case especially becomes complex for nonbinary people such as myself, because there isn't really a legible set of secondary characteristics indicative of age beyond puberty that aren't gendered other than "taller" and so you find yourself saying something like "I used to be a boy, and I feel like that label still fits, but I'm not a man or a woman. Oh and also despite willingly using the label "boy" and no other labels you're familiar with, I'm not a child and don't want to be treated like one." And practically it breaks out that as long as you're not being treated like some kind of predator, being thought immature or unserious isn't even particularly worth fighting over.

#genderposting

[cardentist]

the problem with tma (transmisogyny affected) and tme (transmisogyny exempt) as labels is that the function they fill isn't to describe an Experience (that's what the term transmisogyny is meant to do), it's to Assign experience based on labels.

it is Assumed that that anyone who experiences transmisogyny (either At All or as the result of an identity/label) Must Be amab and Must Be transitioning into feminity in some way.

there's some nuance to that on an individual level, some people who push the tma/tme label may agree that gnc cis women are also at times affected by transmisogyny for instance. but when someone asks a nonbinary person if they are tma or tme they are asking if that nonbinary person was born with a penis or not. they're putting it in polite terms, but that is the implication.

the point of tma vs tme is Not "do you have personal experience with transmisogyny," which is a valid question when having discussions About transmisogyny. the Point of tma vs tme is "you Cannot have experiences with transmisogyny unless you were born in this particular way with these particular labels." it is Gatekeeping an experience and asking other people out themselves as being gatekept from.

and that's a Problem. both in terms of it affirming this binary, And because it is simply wrong.

it's a problem of seeming common sense, what feels the most naturally intuitive, Not being true. something that tends to be at the heart of a Lot of discourse within the queer community.

it is Not controversial to say that trans women and trans feminine people are, statistically, the group most likely to experience transmisogyny. it's right there in the name, it's a term that was coined to describe the experiences of the intersection of transphobia and misogyny that is pointed at trans women. nobody is arguing against that.

but the leap to "this was coined For trans women so it is Only experienced By trans women" just is not true.

a cis intersex woman is assigned female at birth but has traits that are outwardly read as masculine.

an intersex man is assigned male at birth but has a micropenis or secondary sex characteristics that are read as feminine (breasts, a lack of body hair, etc).

an intersex man is assigned female at birth and experiences both.

an intersex person is nonbinary, born with characteristics that people considered "wrong" and treated as such, and rejects the binary altogether.

an intersex person, regardless of gender or sex or label, embraces being openly gnc.

a gnc person who, whether they identify as cis or not, Does Not consider themselves trans. who intentionally presents outside of the conventions of their gender. who bind or wear breast forms, who practice presenting their voice as higher or lower, who wear make up and fake beards, who wear shape ware to make themselves curvier, flatter. who takes estrogen or testosterone or get bottom or top surgery. who Visibly Presents as someone who blends the masculine with the feminine.

nonbinary people not being beholden to the physical binary. who pick and choose how they want to present, both through presentation And transition. who mix and match based not on the binary but on what they Want. a nonbinary person with a beard and a vagina is not inherently afab, a nonbinary person with a dick and breasts is not inherently amab.

a trans masculine person or a trans man, in turn, is neither inherently immune to presenting femininely Or inherently afab.

an intersex person can be assigned male at birth and transition masculinely.

a multigender person or a genderfluid person can be Both a trans man And a trans woman (or nonbinary, or agender, or-).

an afab person who is a trans man can Also be gnc. can be a person with a deep voice and beard in a dress. can have a penis and breasts. can mix and match any sort of presentation.

a trans man can simply be in the process of transitioning or not be able To transition and be perceived as a masculine person with traits "too" feminine or a feminine person with traits "too" masculine.

how someone is treated is, ultimately, not about the labels that they have but how they are Perceived. labels do obviously influence perception, but they are Not the only factor In perception.

whether or not a person experiences transmisogyny is due to how the people around them perceive them and what that perception inspires that person to do.

the problem with creating a term to limit which labels can experience something is that experience does not care about labels, experiences just happen to you.

and none of this is to say that transmisogyny Isn't a tool created by and for trans women. But it Is to say that it's important to recognize when experiences across many different identities are tied to the same root cause.

all of these groups (and most likely many more that I haven't mentioned), Can experience transmisogyny because they Can be interpreted as trans women or as close enough To trans women to experience oppression or harassment for it.

but what these groups all have in common (what All groups have in common), is Gender Essentialism. that there are two sexes (or two genders), and that there are Inherently traits associated with those categories that cannot be changed.

and the Thing Is. it's not Better when it's trans inclusive. when it states people with this gender or with these traits Must have these experiences, Must be fundamentally different from people with That gender with Those traits.

it is not a Bad Thing to share. people who are different from you will share traits and experiences and this Does Not either take your experiences away or erase the fact that you two are different. trans men experiencing misogyny does not mean that trans women do not. nonbinary people experiencing misogyny is not inherently tied to their sex.

It's All Soup. people have experiences because they do and while we can make general observations about what we see we Cannot make them into hard lines without crushing people in the process.

I want to go on testosterone, I want to have a deep voice and facial hair. I want to have boobies, I want to wear dresses, I want to be Cute.

right now I am pre testerone. I shave my head bald regularly and my chest is small enough that it is often not visible through my clothes. I have a high pitched voice and no facial hair and I wear dad shorts that square my hips and button up shirts.

am I transmisogyny exempt? do people who are interpreted as butch women experience transmisogyny at times? do people who are interpreted as men in women's clothing experience transmisogyny at times? do people who mix traits that are considered masculine with those considered feminine experience transmisogyny at times?

if a gnc trans woman spoke about experiences she's had where she was interpreted as a trans man or as a cis gay man I would not reject those experiences because they aren't the "right" ones. what we have in common does not invalidate our existence as ourselves. our experiences, the ways that other people treat us, do not invalidate our existence as ourselves.

the ways that other people interpret, that other people treat us, do not define our labels our labels do not define those things in turn.

#discourse #transphobia #transmisogyny #gender essentialism #transunity #trans unity #long post

[talisidekick]

Can't believe I have to make this...

Accused of being an Autogynephile or having Autogynephilia?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19591032/ - Why it's bullshit.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20582803/ - The problems with the initial study. It's not that there isn't a pattern, it's that how it's studied and described is from a position of bias.

"There's no transgender history before the 2000's."

https://mjhnyc.org/blog/transgender-experiences-in-weimar-and-nazi-germany/ - Transgender People and how they're treated in the 1930's in Germany.

Being told the anti-transgender sentiment isn't an attempt at genocide and "Gender Critical" concerns aren't harmful?

https://www.lemkininstitute.com/statements-new-page/statement-on-the-genocidal-nature-of-the-gender-critical-movement%E2%80%99s-ideology-and-practice - The institute responsible for tracking, preventing, and classifying genocide says otherwise.

Being told being transgender is a social contagion and targets AFAB people to force transition on youth?

https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/3/e2022056567/188709/Sex-Assigned-at-Birth-Ratio-Among-Transgender-and?autologincheck=redirected%3fnfToken%3d00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000 - Yeah, not happening, try again.

Being told Conversion Therapy is what transgender people need?

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2789415 - Not unless you consider increased suicide rates and substance abuse "helpful".

Look, these are the big points I've come across being forced into this gladiatorial arena where I've been defending my right to exist, transition, and not be classified as a criminal both legally and socially for something I didn't have a choice over. Figured if I'm amassing this list of "reasons transphobic bigots and gender critical people are wrong", I might as well give you all the same list of resources I use/came across. Maybe you don't want to fight this battle, that's okay, but it might help you just understand more about yourself and assist you in validating your existence that some people have made their life goal to lie about.

The facts are with you. You're valid, you're right to exist, just keep trying to find what makes you happy. You're not harming anyone by being transgender. Watch out for eachother, and take care.♥

#trans #transgender #trans positivity #transgender positivity #2slgbtqia+ #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ #lgbt+ #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #2slgbtqia

[olderthannetfic]

You might get a kick out of this article someone linked me to, to try and argue that BL is in fact fetishizing (because Yada Yada women consume it and produce it and all that)

https://www.youthoutright.org/articles/fetishization-of-the-queer-community

Article is a fairly short read. But I have to chuckle at it as "evidence" since it makes a fair amount of claims with 0 sources:

That young teenage women make up a majority of fandom (and that's whose consuming/producing BL)

Straight, white women get paid more to write gay romance novels (and that these novels often feature Adonis like males with 0% body fat and no body hair; play into gender/hetero norms)

Etc.

Honestly the....article, if I can even call it that, isn't cohesive. I do find myself agreeing with its first two paragraphs...and surprisingly only the first two. However, this article spends a lot of its time focusing on fetishization of Trans bodies and chasers who go after transfolks bodies (which I'm not too familiar with this so if anyone wants to speak up on this point...)

I'm very confused by how someone could read this and think "this proves my point!"

--

Sigh.

I don't even agree with the beginning. Trashy "girl-on-girl" isn't what's making men think women exist to serve them. Society is doing that. Porn is a reflection, not a cause.

Not to mention the fact that f/f-for-dudes is astronomically common compared to shitheads pestering lesbians in bars. The latter are too common because the correct amount is 0, but just based on the numbers, a lot of dudes are capable of consuming this porn without being confused about what's fiction and what's reality.

The mass quantities of f/f-for-dudes do make it hard to find f/f-for-ladies, but this article has taken the wrong message from that. The correct takeaway is that we need better labeling and search features that are driven by the nerdy desire to categorize and not by algorithms that want to sell you stuff.

As long as het romance novels or porno movies for straight guys or bestselling thrillers or whatever are popular, they're going to drown out the algorithmic results for more niche things one is interested in.

Libraries and AO3 don't have this problem. Amazon and Youtube do.

the world of “slash fiction” (fanfiction portraying a romantic and often sexual relationship between characters from a given source) began centering gay men

Wow, article writer. So you know nothing then.

it’s been claimed that straight, white women are paid more than gay men by publishers to write gay romances

I'm honestly embarrassed for this article writer. First, most of this burgeoning field is selfpub anyway. Second, many established writers in the romance field are women, and established names will probably have a shot at better pay than new people.

Third, anyone who injects "white" like this is a moron and a wanker. If we're talking about racism in the Romance field (and boy howdy is there a lot), white gay men are no better, and men's race is just as relevant as women's. Either we're talking about race or we're not.

As it stands, this author just comes across as a misogynist piece of shit.

The overwhelming majority of these romances portray relationships between white, cis, abled men with no fat or body hair.

I have bad news for them about cis gay men's media. (Well, okay, some of that has a lot of body hair and interminable descriptions of the smell of ball sweat and stinky armpits, but still...)

Men who fit the first archetype will take the position of “top” in the numerous, inaccurate, graphic-as-possible sex scenes that are central to these stories and also appear to be central to many readers’ enjoyment.

I see we're in the usual "I, a sex-repulsed person, speak for all of humanity" mode.

People like horny art. News at 11.

These are complex issues deeply rooted in society. It’s difficult to envision mitigations and solutions. However, somewhere to begin would certainly be promoting more positive, intersectional, realistic representations of queer people and queer relationships. A vital action that can further this goal is choosing to consume media with queer representation that was created by queer people whenever possible.

Honestly, my response to this ending is:

Fuck off, you entitled git.

This uninformed little whiner is equating all kinds of unequal things. Chasers are all over the place, but they aren't the ones writing fanfic or any other amateur, personal writing. We have no right to other people's hobby time. Sure, we can vote with our feet, and we should, but this article doesn't really sound like it's advocating that: it sounds like it's crying that other people have different taste from the writer. Boo, hoo, hoo, someone I don't like got attention.

It's the usual ignorant trash.

Embarrassing.

[viviennelamb]

Feels good to say the Truth: Purity makes living in this shithole worth it. All the pointless psychology, personality typing, and horoscopes I learned for the world's sake is fake- I can't get along with debauched people. Doesn't matter how much we superficially have in common, there's nothing to say to people who have worms for brains. All their medical theories are wrong as well. I've attributed the headaches, nausea, restlessness of the heart and mind my body got around ordinary people as a personal problem, turns out those are symptoms of being fucking disgusted. I don't have to be around yeasty beasties talking about their deplorable conditions being "normal sexual health problems" anymore. Proud about their rank pussies & dicks being heterosexually active while growing 1 billion cultures in their body. Makes sense why I feel best when I'm alone while they feel calmer around me.

I wanted to be problem so I could fix myself which I tried for at least 10 years, but no, most people make me sick. I've only felt good around one person in my life. I told her I thought she was perfect and I couldn't put my finger on exactly why. She humbly denied it, of course, but now I know: her heart was pure. The poor girl was exhausted, drained and smiled weakly around her so-called friends who would use and discard her every chance they got. I would get glimpses into what she really thought cause she knew I wasn't heartless like everybody else and her covert expressions of disgust were hilarious. She would get the socially anxious label when she definitely was not that. Sex-addicts don't know the difference between a person who is insecure and somebody who knows your fragile yet aggressive anger-issue-having asses can't handle a proton of honesty. It's not shyness, it's not wanting our gorgeous minds to get raped by your foul opinions.

Speaking of opinions, I was always called stuck up. When I used to try to help trolls in person they got angry when I implied that they should give cleanliness a try before they run to get put on dope by anti-health white-coated soul-butchers. People like the idea of a spotless mind but when you actually apply it to your life they're ready to diagnose you with one of their delusions. I've always been sane and sound of mind: I don't want to objectify women, I don't want to "loosen up" and I don't want to forget God. I'm more relaxed than anybody I know: I've never worried about not having enough sex, whether I'm attractive enough for the billions of degenerates nor have I ever worried about amazing a stupid psychopath.

I stopped talking for a few years altogether (which were some of the best years of my life, looking back...) because everything I said was wrong or dismissed but of course, they could spew their psychic sewage in my presence without a single fuck about how I felt. I'm sick of bigoted blokes bullying people for their race, gender, sexual orientation when they all engage in the same noxious filth and hate purity just the same. I'm not self-immolating for whores anymore. The 20 minutes of depression afterwards isn't worth it and I've heard it all anyways. Sexophiles lament about the dangers of being in echo chambers yet they can't see how they all repeat the same shit like clockwork. They're all so fucking impressed with themselves too.

I've reached my capacity for depravity: no, lapping up discharge isn't the fountain of life and guzzling semen doesn't repair DNA, shiteaters. I thought this level of immaturity would change as I got older, but it's just fucking ridiculous how many lazy pieces of shit make up theories to brainwash themselves into thinking eating pussy and sucking dick is the point of life. And what really gets me is they think eating the "correct" race of dick makes them superior. Why the fuck do they talk so much anyways? They should be too busy choking on it. I thought I would at least be able to laugh at them at this point but they're boring, unfunny, psychotic losers who can't even wipe their asses properly because of their BBLs and acrylic nails. I'm not a tolerant person and glad I can finally admit that. Stay sick.

[sorcerous-caress]

You're right and I know you are but I actually got so upset that I am now violently sick. I am literally only sharing this because I am fairly certain you're also autistic and BPD but I hate so much that like the one time in mainstream media we are given a bi/pan man who is effeminate and prefers men but isn't a derogatory stereotype but every post about him is like He’s The Most Masculine, Actually and actually the reason we don't see him express attraction to women is because he's so shy actually ignore that he can hookup with Laezel who would not stand for that and is main character trait is confident (and I don't think I've started fights so at least there's that)

I used to not understand the problem with the Astarion fandom but then I came to painful realization he has straight fans who actually seem to hate his canon character

Anyway sorry for all the Bobstarion… gay bpd bitches are gay bpd bitching. You're the best for reading this tho 😭💀💚

I know this feeling very well anon.

You've completely summed it up, he is finally a non-derogatory representation of an effeminate queer man and straight fans burnt his canon to the ground so they can make their dream masculine babyboy shy twink.

God it fucking stings doesn't it? It literally hurts just to think about how much Larian risked by even putting Astarion in the game. A western game at that too where forum after forum are full of incels complaining about women not being inflatable sex objects in their game.

Baldur's gate 2 and 1 never was this inclusive, it was strictly hetro except for the remastered npcs. Astarion by himself probably made them lose half their "old-school" homophonic demographic.

And the fandom takes all of that and makes him another fucking joke of a character? All the people who have never played the game would search up the Astarion tag and get a completely wrong impression of him.

Not once did a character before him made me leave a game because I was disgusted with myself. His storyline and writing is phenomenal because I too objectified him at the start then the game called me out for it in act 3 and it changed my world view so much.

God did you know early access had Gale and Wyll be awkward if a male Tav hits on them? That only Astarion was the always accepting person regardless of gender?

Even now he is still the only male character between the two who openly expresses his interest in men! Who embraces being flamboyant and doesn't try to fit into a narrative.

I completely understand anon, and I know how much bpd and autism highlights these feelings and make them dig like nails at your brain. Yes I have them too. And I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me.

It must be more frustrating for you tho, for liking Astarion and being lumped in with the rest of his weird fans without your consent. You can't even filter their posts out because they treat their takes as "normal" and how it's not them belittling a queer character no! They're just being "wholesome"

Fuck the batstarion shit still gets on my nerves. I saw one with a baby bottle feeding him??? It just feels so infantilising because he isn't some cute animal he is a fully grown and matured person. If it's just a kink then sure idc but please tag it at least.

Then they make him "shy" around women. You know why that god awful take was probably born? Because most of his straight fans picked women and went into his romance. So they think that his clumsy personality in act 2 is because they're a woman and he is so used to men.

It's fucking disgusting, Astarion would treat both men and women with the same clumsy romance, all my Tavs were nonbinary and he never treated them differently.

You have every right to feel this way, you have every right to be furious at this. Especially with a character you care about so much.

But people will take advantage of that, people who want to start fights for the sake of fights or drama blogs who are itching to make a callout post. People don't like others poking holes in their logic no matter how good your intentions are.

Homophobia exists, racism too, look at how ignored Wyll is by these supposed fans. Look at how popular Gale x Astarion is than x Wyll because both of them are white.

It's okay to vent and it's okay to feel frustrated and stuck. God knows during some bpd episodes I come very close to deleting this blog bc of the smallest of reasons, so Imagine actually having a valid reason to be mad like you.

Take a step back, fuck those people honestly. Fuck anyone who ever did this shit just for their own self indulgence, who left all the media that panders to straight people and came and took Astarion too just to strip him of all of his traits and put him in the hetro box.

So leave them be, they suck, they're shitty and never willing to listen. Don't waste your frustration on them, it's better to yell at a wall, at least, unlike them, it might reply back with something productive one of those days.

Again, I hope you feel better soon. I genuinely do, these feelings suck beyond words can describe. Do something you like or revisit your favourite works that stay true to Asterion's character. Ground yourself with anything that might help.

Don't feed them or reply to their arguments, please. hopefully, they leave the fandom once the new manufactured tumblr sexyman is released and the Asterion tag.

#♡bob #♡bob Slander

[colorisbyshe]

I think part of the frustration with people being so uninformed by historical movements, especially 2nd wave feminism, is that they don’t get that political lesbianism as a movement was deeply lesbophobic too, and still realistically hurts lesbians today with the subconscious attitude that simply choosing not to date men or interact with men is what makes a lesbian. Which then is how you also get weirdos thinking lesbians should make space to give dating men a shot. And thinking lesbians, who are not attracted to men, are exactly the same as the rage bait terf folks harping about cutting men off from dating women.

Obviously this is. A facet of the larger problem with this ideology, but it’s frustrating how few people acknowledge how damaging it was for more than lesbian separatist reasons. Straight women (a significant amount of political lesbians) largely trying to take over lesbian spaces in the name of feminism was also deeply traumatic for the community too.

Absolutely, it was also a grossly biphobic movement AND.... misogynistic. Second wave feminism, separatist feminism, political lesbianism found a way to really attack all women on an ideological level, not even getting into how the entire era was also... deeply racist.

Political lesbianism was not for lesbians (especially when its leaders tried to define lesbian as just women who didn't date men, by choice or otherwise) or any other women attracted to women. It wasn't for anyone other than the most privileged of women and often led to just attacking more vulnerable, more marginalized women.

While the ideology is not identical, movements like 4B are not for the longterm benefit of most women. Or most marginalized people. (When you separate women as the only cause worth caring about, you leave out... every marginalized group. When you stop caring abut the rights of every marginalized group, you inevitably harm... the women of those groups.)

I'm not even going to claim to be an expert on any of these movements: I have done readings on those I am speaking about but haven't done extremely deep dies into them but part of why I haven't is because... the flaws ae on the surface level. You don't really have to get into the nitty gritty or nuance of these movements to realize that they are fundamentally flawed.

To have a movement that effectively says "Women's oppression is literally stored in the balls (ie the sex with men, which are presumed to be people with balls)" is... inherently stupid. You aren't more or less oppressed when you have sex with or date men. Men aren't getting their power from sex or romance with women. You aren't really harming or criticizing rape culture.

Likewise with political lesbianism, being perpetually single or fucking women doesn't free you from misogyny's impact or even necessarily empower you against it. "Act the right way towards men or you deserve what you get from them" isn't feminism. It is victim blaming, though.

These movements just sort of become... prescriptivist in the same way the systems they're supposedly rebelling against. "Act this way or you're the enemy." "Do this or you deserve what you get."

"Our gender MUST act this way" only ever hurts your gender.

Which is the flaw of most radical feminist movements. They exist to take power from men and then lord that same power over more vulnerable and/or more "deviant" women. Or any other more vulnerable group (like white radfems using white supremacy in tandem with their radical feminism).

There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual or straight and choosing to not date or have sex with men. For whatever reason.

Turning that into political movement where you then try to dictate the right/wrong ways to have sex, date as some sort of moral code... that's where you are just recreating the harms you're supposedly against.

Like... on the most obvious level, these movements are extremely stupid and there's no other way to frame that. They’re not just morally bad, they make no fucking sense. Even if you don't understand the bioessentialism, the way certain identities are stripped of meaning or politicized even when they're innate, or whatever...

just on its face... how the fuck are women liberated by new terms dictating what sex and love they're allowed to have, what reproductive choices they're allowed to make? implying by having sex with someone gives them power is inherently and obviously harmful

we need to be so fucking real

#it's hard to talk abotu this #because i know ppl can so easily twist this into sounding like choice feminism #or 'not all men' if i talk about it in depth #which is why i haven't gone into those points much here #but like

[doberbutts]

That "no one talks about white people . . . like you talk about men etc etc" anon is like, the prime example of how 'progressive' individuals will still bend over backwards to find an excuse as to why they should be allowed to be bigots to random individuals based on race/ethnicity/gender/sex/whatever else objectively neutral characteristic that is outside of one's power to change. Just because someone *may* benefit from oppressive systems that already exist does not mean that members of the oppressed party should get free-reign to act on their prejudiced beliefs. I think that's something that a lot of progressives (especially leftist types that haven't unlearned their punitive behaviors and thought patterns) need to understand. Bigotry doesn't have to be systemic to be bigotry, and neither is it the solution to the systems of oppression that we already suffer from.

Oh yeah. This has long been a huge problem of mine with "progressive" spaces is that the point of these conversations has seriously been missed.

The point of discussing antiblackness and how being antiblack is bad isn't "so it's okay to hate other races and especially white people since all other races are on the hook for being antiblack", it's "hating people due to their race which is an unchangeable thing about them that they did not and cannot choose is bad, and black people have been a scapegoat for this for centuries in nearly every country that's even minimally interacted with the African continent, so it's present everywhere and in nearly every culture and that's bad too"

The point of discussing male privilege isn't "so it's okay to hate men because they're at fault for everything wrong with the world and women are completely blameless for everything they do because it's all actually the patriarchy's fault" (which btw I wish was a strawman but as y'all just saw I literally just had someone arguing that women who rape men are doing so due to the patriarchy therefore it's men's fault that women don't get punished for raping men), it's "treating people poorly on the basis of their gender which is an unchangeable thing about them that they did not and cannot choose is bad, and women have been men's heel for centuries in nearly every country so it's present everywhere and in nearly every culture and that's bad too"

But a lot of these folks simply see this as an injustice solely because it's a weapon pointed at the wrong target, rather than something that shouldn't happen at all in the first place.