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number1jeonginstan · 7 months

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Coffee Pt.2

Jeongin x afab!reader (enemies to lovers)

part I part III part IV

A/N: I knew I said I didn't know when I was going to write the next part but... when inspiration hits it hits. Anyways, please comment if you want to be part of my tag list!!! I'm still pretty new to using tumblr so please bear with me!

WC: 1.3k

CW: Just swearing I think idk what else

“Aww is poor baby going to cry” you said throwing another ping pong ball. You stared at Jeongin as it landed straight in the cup. “Maybe I should have bet more” you shrugged.

They had 2 cups left while you and Seungmin still had 6. “You know what, let’s up the anty” Jeongin said and you were intrigued. “If I win, you buy me the shirt and…” he pondered to himself for a second “You give me head as an apology” he grinned at you.

Before you can even speak, Seungmin replied for you “If you wanted your dick sucked so bad you should have asked the girl who was on you like a leech earlier, I don’t want you trying to get into y/n’s pants.”

“Awwww does Seungmin have a little crush on his “little sister”” using air quotes around little sister taunting him, “or are you scared you are going to lose?” he cocked his head to the side. “You know what, fuck you, I’ll do it” you stated confidence flowing through you “and if I win, you have to grovel on your knees and apologize to me and buy me coffee for the rest of the year as an apology.”

“Fine, but get ready to lose. And Seungmin, I have the perfect maid outfit for you to wear while you clean our bathroom.” You look at Seungmin confused “Our bathroom?”

“Did Seungmin not tell you, we share a room here because there aren’t enough, meaning when you want to hang out with Minnie over here, you also have to hang out with me angel.” He smirked at you like he was proud of himself.

“y/n, you don’t have to do this, we don’t have to bet this far. I don’t want you to lose.” you cut him off “Minnie have I ever lost a game of beer pong?” You looked at him with your doe eyes “No…” he replied “Exactly, and I do not think I’m gonna lose that 3 year streak today”

You guys were tied one to one, it was your turn and you felt like you were gonna vomit. Sure you were confident, but you’ve never blown someone off before, the farthest you’ve gotten is second base in the back of your ex’s car during a football game in high school. You aren’t scared of sex, but you’ve never had the need to find someone to fuck. The only person who knows this about you is Seungmin because you blurted it out to him when you guys got drunk together the first time and he consoled you and told you it’s fine, everyone has their own time and their own person, and that stuck with you.

As you threw your last shot in, it landed straight into the cup. You started bouncing around and jumped into Seungmin’s arms. “I TOLD YOU” you screamed and kissed his cheek, something you guys have always done.

Jeongin just glared at you guys making Chan chug down the last cup, already feeling tipsy. You congratulate Chan for a job well done. “You are so cute,” he said to you. “You should come around more often, I like your energy and I feel like the other boys would too.”

“I don’t think she should, she doesn’t know how to own up to her mistakes,” Jeongin said directly to Chan acting like you weren’t even there. “What do you mean by my mistakes? We agreed that whoever won would apologize. Actually, not even apologize, but grovel, so start groveling Yang Jeongin.” You glared at him, waiting for him to get on his knees and apologize, but instead, he came centimeters from your face.

“Suck. My. Dick.” each word enunciated with such hatred and disgust. You scoff in his face “I thought a bet was a bet? Isn’t that what you said?”

“Come on Innie, don’t be a dick and just apologize, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, you are usually so nice” Chan stated slurring his words a little from drinking almost all of the cups.

“Yeah Innie,” you said “Don’t be a dick and apologize” you pout at him. “Is it that hard to admit you are wrong?” you poke at his chest “Or are you just an egotistical maniac who gets off on making other people angry?”

“That’s it y/n, why don’t we get a breather?” Seungmin tried to drag you away, but you whine in protest “But he hasn’t apologized for ruining my shirt and spilling coffee all over me.”

“If an apology is what you want, that’s what you are going to get,” he said “I’m sorry that you are stupid and can’t watch where you are going.” He started coming closer to you, a cup of the same liquid Sana was drinking earlier. “And I am oh so sorry for this,” he said with a grin. pouring the contents of the drink all over you.

Your white shirt was stained pink and you could feel the liquid seeping through your skirt. “What the fuck!” you yelled. Your cheeks turn red in anger while Seungmin watches in awe.

“Aw, did the poor girl not my apology?” he said with a fake pout. “What is your problem Jeongin?” you almost started crying but Seungmin pulled you away taking you to his room.

As soon as you guys went up the stairs into their shared room, you broke down. Tears were streaming down your face, and you could feel your clothes clinging onto your body. “Don’t cry y/n” Seungmin was trying to console you, but it made you feel even worse. “I don’t know why he did that, but why don’t you go take a shower, get all of that pink shit off of you. I’ll give you a towel and some of my clothes.”

You rubbed your eyes, feeling your mascara running. “Thanks, Minnie, I knew I could count on you.” You started giggling seeing him running around his shared room trying to find a shirt for you. “Of course, anything for my little loser,” he said again whilst ruffling your hair. “I’m gonna go back down to give you some privacy, there should be makeup wipes in one of the draws left over from Halloween.”

You gave him a puzzled look and he replied “I wanted to dress as Pororo, I had to have a white face so I used face paint. Do you have a problem with that?” You started to giggle, “I do not, but I’m praying you have a picture so I can send it to your older sister.”

“I do have a picture, but I am sure as hell not letting you see it y/n. I would need to be on my deathbed” Seungmin said with a stoic face. “I can arrange for that to happen” you replied only to get the shirt thrown at your face.

“Go shower before someone tries to break down my door and fuck in here.” Seungmin pleaded before closing the door to his room.

The layout of the room was kind of basic. There were two beds, each full-sized, and a walk-in closet. Before going into the conjoined bathroom, you went inside the closet. You could automatically tell which side was Seungmin’s, seeing his Spider-Man pajamas in the corner from when you guys had a Marvel-themed movie marathon and sleepover with the rest of the theater kids. You could also see the shirt that Jeongin messed up when he spilled coffee over the both of you guys. You genuinely felt bad for running his shirt, but you couldn’t get over the fact he didn’t apologize to you. He was being an ass for no reason, you would have offered to pay for his dry cleaning if he wasn’t being so rude.

After you finish your snooping, you finally go to shower, pondering if you should wash your hair or not since the drink was already soaking it. You opted for it and turned on the shower letting the warm water fall upon you. Everything was peaceful surrounded by the warm heat almost like it was a hug, that was until you heard a knock on the bathroom door.

#skz #skz smut #skz x reader #seungmin x reader #i.n #jeongin #i.n.#straykids x reader #i.n x reader #i.n skz #ju <3 writes

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footballffbarbiex · 2 years

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Faking.

pairing: Charles x undescribed female reader Words: 2713 warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f), edging, hair pulling, mad Charles. Probably more but I can’t think straight right now.

Unbeta’d as usual, so all typos are my own bullshit. Idk why the font is being a dick, apologies.

You chew nervously on your fingernails as you allow your words to sink in. It’s a habit that you’ve never really snapped out of growing up and though you know that you can’t tear them off as they’re acrylic, it’s comforting none the less right now. It doesn’t stop the disapproving expression appearing on her face - though whether that’s from the nail biting attempt or what you’ve just confessed, you don’t know.

“You faked it?” Maddie responds slowly to make sure she understands. You nod.

“Yes,” You say in a low voice.

“Does Charles know?” She asks as you pull a face at her that silently suggests she’s an idiot.

“Of course not. Do you think I’d still be sitting here if he knew I had?” You nervously laugh at her comment. “No. It would hurt his ego too much for sure. You continue to attempt to pick at your nails as you lapse into silence.

“Are you going to tell him?” She asks as she reaches for her coffee cup.

“And tell him what exactly?” You ask her, voice dropping even lower than before. “Oh hey Charles. You know how we had some amazing sex last night? Well guess what? It was all a lie. I faked it. I never came and I just made you think that I had when you went down on me.” You finish on a sarcastic note and resist the urge to sit back in the chair with a childish huff. “Yeah, that’ll really make him feel happy. He’ll be furious.”

The thought alone, of his angry face and the way he’d hold himself knowing he couldn’t pleasure his girlfriend would be too much. He wouldn’t take it lightly. It makes you wish you had something stronger than just coffee in this mug.

“Do you really think he will take this to heart?” Maddie asks slowly.

“Any man would be offended at the best of times. Charles does not take this kind of thing lightly, it would have a huge impact on him. Not to mention make him wonder if it’s happened before.”

“And have you?”

“Of course not, that’s why I’m so ashamed of it.”

“Then why did you?

“I just…wasn’t there mentally. The sex was good. Don’t get me wrong, it felt good. But have you just been so distanced from what is happening that it wasn’t enough to get you there? I could feel it felt amazing but my mind just wouldn’t let me focus on it, and not in the usual mind blowing way. And he was trying so hard, but when I didn’t…you know, I just….faked it instead to save his jaw and fingers from aching.”

“Well, you need to decide if you want to keep it to yourself and get over it or tell him and hope it goes well.” Maddie takes a drink and you know she’s right.

Freshly showered and shaved, you can’t help but lay on the couch later that night and stroke your fingers over the smooth skin. Snuggling down only makes your legs rub together and you smile to yourself at the visual you’re creating, something Maddie would call “acting like a cricket”.

“What are you smiling at?” Charles asks as he enters the room.

“Just my smoothy smooth legs. Wanna feel?” You extend your leg as an offer. He grins at you as he makes his way over, his hand outstretched ready to feel.

“Very smooth. Does it stop here?” He asks, his fingers dancing over the skin at the top of your thigh.

“Nope,” You smirk at him as his fingers dip under your shorts and play with the edging of your panties. “Someone is in a good mood.”

“Of course I am. We had very good sex last night, I’ve had a good training session today and a relaxing evening so far with you. I’m hoping to continue that evening but with a little added spice.” You feel a pang of guilt as he speaks so happily about last night.

“Oh really?” You try to keep your voice light and friendly. Keep the panic from it even though it builds throughout you and leaves a telltale taste upon your tongue. “And how do you plan on doing that?” You ask him. He smiles to himself as he slowly kneels before you. His knees give a little click as he rests his weight upon them. “Are you OK old man? Your knees are worse than mine and I’m on mine more than you are,” you tease.

“This old man is going to please you in ways no young man can.” He playfully bites at your thighs before kissing his way over with open mouthed kisses and a flick of his tongue to soothe the slightly darkened area from where he’d nibbled. His fingers curl themselves over the top of your shorts and underwear. “Ass up.” His lips never leave your skin as he speaks, only doing so briefly to tug down the material that barely covers your lower half.

You do as you’re told, acting obediently for him to half strip you. You raise your feet so that the fabrics can be tugged from your feet and dropped to the floor. His lips find the top of your thighs again and your skin tingles with anticipation. You stop yourself from tilting your hips to the direction of his face, forcing him to kiss you where you want him to; need him to even.

“Are you not satisfied with my kisses?” Charles mutters against your skin as he peers up at you. Beautiful eyelashes fluttering against his skin as he watches you, lips continuing to lightly press more kisses to your body, getting closer to where you want him but far enough away to still bring frustration.

“I am, I’m trying not to rush this.” You respond quietly.

“You want my mouth somewhere else? Didn’t you get enough of it last night?” He asks before nipping at the skin inside your groin. His tongue pokes from his lips as he tilts his head and his tongue brushes lightly against your clit. A low hum escapes your mouth and your fingers thread through his hair, holding him in place as he begins to lick and suck at your sensitive bead.

You move your body slightly and open your legs further, granting him better access as his tongue dips below, forcing its way between your folds and teases at your dripping entrance. You tug on his hair and moan as the spot that he knows you love is caressed, causing your legs to shake and stomach to tense. His tongue sweeps back up to your clit and you feel two fingers enter, turning upwards and a beckoning motion made.

Charles continues this for a few more moments, building you up just enough so that you’re trembling and panting his name. His fingers thrust into you and curl with such precision you’re unable to form any other words other than yes or his name. Any coherent thought you may have had is pushed from your mind, a very different experience to last night. You can feel your orgasm approaching, your fingers tighten on his hair, you’re seconds away from grinding your cunt against his fingers when he pulls away from you and removes his fingers.

He smiles down at you as he licks them clean and begins to tug at his shorts. All you can do is lay before him, a frown etching onto your face as you wonder why the fuck he’s stopped.

“What’s with the frowny face?” He asks as his hand dips inside his shorts and you watch as he strokes his dick. Usually you would be licking your lips and needing it in your mouth but you’re too frustrated to entertain the thought.

“I didn’t finish?”

“Yes you did?” Charles frowns back at you. “I felt your muscles go tight around me? You tugged my hair and moaned?” He says. “I mean, you didn’t squirt like you usually do but you didn’t last night either. I thought you seemed pretty satisfied…” He trails off and you feel your stomach drop. His expression changes and in that moment you realise that he knows.

“Well, no. I didn’t last night.” You finally admit in a quiet voice. Charles removes his hand from his boxers and rests both of them on either side of your hips to prop himself up.

“Because you didn’t cum at all and instead, you decided to pretend that you had. That’s why.” He says confidently, his expression still a mix of amusement and anger. “You seem to forget that I’ve made you lose all control many, many times. I know your every sound, your every moan and the way your cunt feels around my fingers and against my tongue. I know the way your clit throbs when you’re close. The way you taste when you cum, when you squirt. I didn’t need to hear that conversation earlier to confirm all of this.”

“Why did you pretend to not know?” You ask, voice barely more than a whisper as you begin to wonder why the fuck he is being so calm about it all.

“And miss an opportunity like this? I think not.” Charles shifts his weight and dips his hand back into his boxers and grips himself again. With his free hand, he pushes his boxers down over his hips and exposes himself - making you bite your lip and barely hold back a groan as you watch his hand work his length.

“You want this baby?” Charles’s gaze remains on your face.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I want it Charles. I want it deep inside me.” You moan softly as he teases the head of his dick within the first inch of you. Just enough for you to feel it but not enough to begin to feel yourself stretch to his width. “Charles please,” You plead with him.

“You insult me,” he begins to explain himself as he looks down between your bodies as he slowly pulls himself from you before sliding back in just enough for you to be able to feel it again. “You fake your orgasm and boast about it to your friend.” He silences you with a look when you open your mouth to object that you hadn’t boasted at all, “And you think I will let you have your way immediately? Why didn’t you just say you didn’t want to have sex?” He asks. Two fingers find your clit once more and begin to rub small circles alongside the slow, shallow thrusts.

You bite your lip harder and try to move your hips against him, only to be stopped by his hand pressing down on your lower abdomen, holding you in place and not allowing you to take control to enjoy yourself.

“I did want to have sex with you! I just wasn’t in the right mood to finish.”

“You have to be in the right mood?” Charles stops his movements and raises his eyebrow, “since when?”

“You can finish every single time if you thrust enough. It’s a done deal, it doesn’t take a whole lot to make a guy cum. It takes a lot more to stimulate a woman. We need to be turned on up here too.” you tap your head. “My mind just wasn’t in it completely so I couldn’t finish.”

You sit yourself up and kiss his neck. Your lips caressing the soft skin there covering the hard muscle; feeling the way they tense and relax beneath your touch. “Charles? I didn’t cum last night through no fault of either of us.” you kiss him again just above his pulse point, near to where his earlobe is. The one place that turns him on the most and can turn any “no” to a yes. Your tongue lightly licks at his skin before you kiss there again and you can feel him beginning to melt against you.

“Tonight, you’ve stopped me from having my orgasm to teach me a lesson. But please fuck me.” You continue to kiss him, leaving a trail along his jaw, up to his lips where you nibble gently at his plump bottom lip, then kiss your way back down. “Please fuck me Charles. I need you inside me.” He swallows hard and you know he won’t last long hearing you plead like this. “Charles, please. Take me.” He pushes you backwards before his hands start to explore your body. Fingers sliding over your ass cheeks and he pulls you towards him. At the same time, your fingers curl around his dick and you begin to slowly stroke him. “Please baby,”

A low growl sounds in his throat as he moves quickly back between your legs and presses his tongue to you, flicking his tongue over your clit in little, quick motions that leave your legs shaking immediately. He slides two fingers inside of your pussy, moving them in such a way that they brush against your g-spot with every motion.

Charles is right, he knows your body's signs too well to pull any kind of shit with him. He pulls his fingers from you and no longer uses his mouth. You whimper his name, the question of why has he stopped is taking shape on your lips as your orgasm completely fizzles away and it’s only then that he starts again. He brings you to the edge again and again before your frustration finally gets the better of you.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I’m working off my anger.” He responds nonchalantly, closing his eyes and dips his tongue inside you again. Your pussy throbs against him, tired of the overstimulation now.

“Charles I swear if you don’t allow me to-”

“You’ll do what?” Charles opens his eyes and raises his eyebrow.

“Ok, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I faked my orgasm and then talked to someone about it.” You quickly say, “I won’t do it again. I’ll just make you work for it harder. Now please, just fuck me or make me cum at least.” You grip his hair tightly as his tongue darts back inside with a newfound force. He swirled his tongue, lapping everything up given to him while his thumb worked against your clit. Charles continues unrelentingly as your stomach tenses and the grip on his hair tightens as finally, your orgasm rips throughout you and spills over his waiting tongue.

Charles wastes no time to manipulate your body into a position that he wants and needs, barely giving you time to fully come down from your high when you feel him thrust into you from tip to base. Your fingers claw at the sofa, taking handfuls of the plush material as he thrusts hard into you.

Making the mistake of lifting your hand and biting at the soft skin there to try and muffle your moans, Charles growls with annoyance. “Don’t hide your noises.” His hands wrap around your ankles and draws your knees up to your chest, using your thighs and hips as a way to anchor himself as he fucks into you.

His short nails dig into the skin but you don’t care. Waves of pleasure lick through your body with each of his thrusts and your low moans seem to bounce from the walls of the living room.

“You feel so fucking good like this.” Charles groans and your pussy tenses around his cock. You watch as his eyes roll into the back of his head and he bites his lip, picking up the pace even more until you’re no longer sure where one thrust ends and another begins.

“Do that again, I’m so close, baby.” Charles whimpers. You obey, soft walls now hardening around him, holding him within your cunt in a vice-like grip and within seconds, his movements are slowing and becoming sloppy as he reaches his own climax.

“Never lie to me again,” He breathes heavily, his eyes dark and his cheeks are flush with colour. You press your lips to his before smiling.

“I promise I won’t. Even if you did look gorgeous while proving a point.” He grins back at you, placing delicate kisses on the tip of your nose and forehead.

Official Charles tag list: @disneydaddyevans | @enjoymyloves

#formula one imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 smut

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littlerosetrove · 14 days

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I feel like I just got knocked around by a hurricane. I have a lot to say, too.

My initial Spoiler Thoughts for 7x5, this time by character, because it makes sense for me.

⭐️

HEN AND KAREN

Oh my goodness I loved all of the Hen and Karen stuff we got. Denny is such an understanding and sweet older brother already, bless him. Really the only, um, weird spot to say the least was…… Did the show make an analogy between a young black girl and a dog???? I’m not black, I’m very white, so……………. Stepping aside from that, if I may. I still loved Hen and Karen being amazing people and parents, trying to figure out how to help Mara. Oh I can’t wait to see more of this little family. <3

BUCK

Buck was soooo cringe during the date, but Tommy was so patient, charming, and lovely. Tommy later said he left things off as he did because he didn’t want to pressure Buck. 🥺 I did like that - after talking to Maddie and Eddie - Buck plucked up the courage to call and meet up with Tommy. Yes!!! Don’t give up so quickly my guy, especially if you can’t stop thinking about Tommy. Mmmm I get it. 🩷💜💙

I appreciated Buck apologizing for his weird behavior at the restaurant too. And don’t think I didn’t clock Tommy hearing that Buck has already told his sister about Tommy and she wants to meet him! Please, I know Tommy and Buck aren’t a long term thing, but damn do I want them to last a little longer. For me? 🥺🥺👉👈 I’ve truly never been more excited about Bucks love interest as I am now.

Maddie was a gem during the scene where Buck came out to her. You could see her mentally pivoting a few times, just trying to understand what was going on and of course being there for her silly bisexual disaster of a brother.

EDDIE

I can’t separate Marisol from her actress, so that after sex scene gave me the ick. And I now know more about Eddie and Marisol’s sex life than their actual relationship. Thanks, I hate it.

Marisol was almost a nun? …..Idk idk, I’m not Latina or Catholic, but it all kinda feels like it’s being played for laughs, and mixing in stereotypes there.

Bobby and his kiss of death relationship talk. It seems Eddie asking Marisol to move in surprised even him. And he said something about Eddie having issues committing to things/people, except Shannon. I need more time to think about that, but I feel mixed about the Shannon of it all. ….Like yes she was a big part of his life obviously, they were messy, Eddie loved her, I get all of that. I really do. But idk, why does so much tie back to her? Like okay. Okay… I just hope that the show is working towards Eddie actually starting to work through and heal *gestures* from the Shannon of it all. Because so far the ghost of Shannon still hangs over him, and idk how to phrase it, but… I’d like a story for Eddie that isn’t always connected to her, you know? Please let this man go back to therapy and heal, not just from his PTSD in the army, which was the focus in season 5. And I get that Eddie’s general weirdness about Marisol comes back to the Shannon of it all. Speaking of.

Eddie admits that he goes with his gut, then lets his head catch up later, and it doesn’t usually work out. So then. Wait. He asked her to move in, and I guess we’re supposed to assume because Eddie just wasn’t thinking??? Clearly. Seriously wtf Eddie. And now he’s like, “let's start over and really get to know each other.” Sure! Cause it seems you guys don’t know anything after a few months of dating, just like us! And HI. YEAH, what the fuck does Chris even think about all of this? Does he even know Marisol’s last name? Does Eddie????

Y’all this is so messy. So, what. Eddie asked Marisol to move in with him, and I’d HOPE Chris knows this. But then at the end of the episode, they’re both like “teehee sure, lets not move in together. yet!!” What the hell is Chris going to think about this when he comes back? One minute this random woman, a glorified babysitter, is moving in, and now she’s not. @andavs made a kinda devastating and enlightening post about this. Basically, is Eddie rushing (but taking back??) things with Marisol because he’s trying to prove to Chris that people/women don’t always leave????

Like, hell, I know Eddie was joking (but only kind of) with Buck about maybe he needs to break up with Marisol because of the whole nun thing. It’s kinda giving, in it’s own unique way, Buck and Taylor vibes, in the sense of Buck cheating on Taylor and then panic asking her to move in. Although in this case, we have NO IDEA why Eddie asked Marisol to move in beyond his gut feeling I guess???????

Ugh, I’m kinda feeling frustrated because I’m just honestly confused by Eddie’s decisions this episode. Because before this episode, we knew fuck all about the relationship, and now he’s asking Marisol to move in, AND THEN, saying nevermind? For now??????????

I know we have to wait for more episodes to get a better understanding and all that, but yeah. Frustrated. And I know Marisol and Eddie aren’t end game. One thing though I want to note, if Eddie and Marisol are in any way parallelling Buck and Taylor, it’s entirely possible Marisol will stick around until the end of this season, just like Taylor did all of season 5. Idk, just prepare yourself.

BUCK & EDDIE

It’s been 84 years but we finally got a Buddie hug!!!!!!!! THANK GOD.

Eddie is surprised Tommy is gay, but doesn’t seem surprised that Buck isn’t straight? Huh........

Eddie can’t even say the word sex. My dude.

There were soooo many fruity things being said between these two all episode. A very large fruit basket. Buck saying he wishes he could help Eddie?? Like yeah, he didn’t actually mean help Eddie with his pent up sex drive or whatever, but COME ON.

Eddie affectionately calling Buck an idiot. Guess what Eddie, you’re both idiots and you’re perfect for each other. (a bit later. let me keep buck and tommy just a tiny bit longer. and then you two probably have some shit to work through and figure out before you get together anyway.)

Is the show doing some kinda “Hangovers” pseudo episode?? What with the clearly crazy bachelor party gone wrong???

⭐️

PHEW. Yeah uh. This was quite the episode. A lot of good things, but some weird and questionable things too. I’ll probably have more to say later, but I’ve said a lot for now. And frankly I think we all need the two week break before the wedding episode.

EDIT: OH. I am bummed we didn't get an on screen scene, even brief, of Buck apologizing to Eddie for hurting him. Was it even brought up??? Meh.

#911 spoilers #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Hen Wilson #Karen Wilson #my thoughts #long post

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idontwannapickausername · 4 months

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venting because I’m mad (and I don’t usually get mad)!!

I’m really starting to reevaluate this 'friendship' I have with my across the street neighbor, proclaimed bestie

She chewed me out in her sideyard today, and I’m honestly still not even sure what I did to warrant it (we had a brief fight over something tiny over the summer and I think it still might be over that, but I have apologized multiple times for it and was pretty sure we had put it behind us months ago). She said I never call her (which, yes, calling people is hard and my mental health just makes it harder but I do try to call, and it’s not like I’ve never called her; it’s just been a few weeks because I’ve been struggling) and I always just think about myself and she does so much for me (never mind the fact I always help her carry her groceries in and always say hi when she’s outside and let her bend my ear when she’s upset which is pretty much constantly), and since I have my health (she and her husband both have multiple health issues which I also always let her vent to me about, and she had to call the paramedics like three days ago because her husband stopped breathing) and what do I have to be depressed about? Everything she said hurt, but to hear her accuse me of always just thinking of myself when I’ve been working really hard to try to put myself first in the first place was just awful. And the depression thing imo is like the most insensitive thing to say to someone with depression, so that was downright painful.

I stood there and let her chew me out (flabbergasted, but offering her the occasional apology only to be met with it didn’t matter because it wasn’t genuine since I didn’t know what I was apologizing for, which I still don’t even know what she’s mad about in the first place!! and when I tried to ask she said I knew what she was mad at, which no I fucking don’t cuz if it’s the summer thing, I thought we resolved that!), stone faced, but then I came home and vented and cried to my dad and brother.

She came over a bit later and my brother answered the door (I was in my room listening) and he told her I didn’t want to talk to her but she said she didn’t want to talk to me but wanted to ask my dad about some fucking bug spray because she was dealing with spiders, and my brother defended me saying that she can’t make me cry and then come over and ask for bug spray, so she just smiled and said goodbye to my brother and left.

I feel so fucking sick and used. I tell her everything, cat/house sat for them multiple times, she’s helped me through a lot of shit (and I’ve helped her through numerous things, too), she was so excited to meet my girlfriend when she came during the summer...this isn’t the first time we’ve fought (we’ve known each other for years and she’s even had stupid arguments with my parents before) but this time is really making me question everything.

I’m looking out my window and can see she’s outside her house right now and half of me wants to go chew her out (or help her? idk, she’s old and feeble and that’s what makes me feel so bad for her, she can’t do a lot of things without needing help), and the other half wants to say fuck it and cut her off and never talk to her again.

#might delete later #feels really good to vent tho

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ihaveatheoryonthat · 2 years

Text

I’d been waiting on these bits until I found the post they were loosely based on, but it’s been a month and I haven’t managed to track it down, so I’m just gonna add the disclaimer that it’s based on ‘Hisui and all its inhabitants are added to the modern day Pokemon world and people don’t know how tf to respond’.

It’s pretty short, doesn’t have any lead in and, as usual, has placeholders all over.

---

“We will prepare, and send our best suited Wardens to accompany this group.”

Wordlessly, the Pearl Leader’s eyes sought out the Warden who so [adj] resembled his nephew. The man glanced her way and nodded, returning his eyes to [the map].

When the meeting was adjourned, he was swiftly lost in the shuffle.

[...]

It was selfish, but--

“If I might ask a moment of your time, Lady Irida?”

She looked him up and down, turned to communicate something to the other leader, and, finally, dipped her head in a shallow nod.

“Is there something I can help you with, Sir Drayden?”

“Perhaps.” / “It’s your Warden; that is to say, Lady Sneasler’s Warden--”

Impatient, Irida held a hand up, silencing him. “I have had this conversation far too many times already, and I do not care to retread it with an outsider. Warden Ingo has earned his title and place among our clan. He is none of your concern.”

He tried to remain impassive-- rarely a difficult feat for him-- but something must have shown. There must have been some kind of reaction at the sound of Ingo’s name, because the indigence in Irida’s posture softened, just a fraction.

Just to [idk], Drayden held his hands up in apology, “I didn’t mean to judge. I only wanted to ask after him.”

“Where does this sudden interest come from?”

He closed his eyes, took a steady breath, “He looks very much like someone I knew, but didn’t seem to recognize me. I’d simply wondered if it was at all possible that...”

When he opened his eyes again, he had Irida’s full attention.

“He came to us in a blizzard with his mind completely addled.” In the distance, someone called her name, and she tuned back into the goings-on around them, “I’m afraid I cannot spare the time to go over the entire circumstance with you. I had intended to send him with your [group], as the Pearl Clan’s representative, so if you wish to speak to him, plan accordingly.”

#ihaveatheoryonthat pkmn #submas #writing scraps

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flowered-mp3 · 1 year

Text

u guys.... i just cried in my bf's car yesterday (again!) lol pls skip this but i know some of y'all invested and i just need an outlet so......

so like... my bf raised an interesting question weeks ago, essentially asking me "how do u know if ur in love?". i was a little caught off guard at the time, but i answered that i wasn't sure, because i've never been in love. then, i asked him the same question and he thought that he might've loved one of his exes, but he wasn't entirely sure, either.

then, flash forward to last week, when he called me at night (like he normally does). usually he tends to get in his feelings at that time, and started to ask if i thought that our relationship was moving too fast. and to be fair, it was moving fast but i never felt uncomfortable with it? it never felt wrong. we 100% progressed faster than most couples but it never felt wrong. we just did whatever we felt comfortable with. he also told me that this is the fastest that he's ever fallen for someone, and the fastest that he's ever had a gf meet his family/go on staycation/be physical, etc. so, he was afraid that because he's so into me, he would miss any signs of potential points of conflict. and the reason why this was bugging him was because he doesn't want to lose me. there were times in his previous relationships where he ignored those issues because he was so enamoured initially, and obv those relationships ended. the idea of losing me terrifies him, and vice versa for me.

next, i asked what brought this on and he stayed silent for a while before saying that on the last day of our staycation, he wanted to say that he loved me. i was so shook over the phone that i started crying. idk why i just couldn't believe my ears.

but then, he backtracked again because he was also scared because he also wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love - similar to me. he also mentioned that a couple of days before our staycation he statted asking around "how do you know that you're in love" and the only person online was his ex (she wasn't a great gf to him and kinda toxic, they dated 3 to 4 years ago, but she recently reappeared in his life to apologize for what she did to him. honestly? good for her, and i hope that she's happy with her new bf) so that kinda made me :/ but it's ok because it worked out lol just wait. anyways, we essentially talked it out and i said that there's no pressure for him to figure it out. feelings are complicated.

so i also said that i didn't think that i was ready to say that i loved him yet. and he was so sweet about it, saying that he would wait however long that i needed :')

ok so flash forward to the present. i was thinking alot over the past week and i was just kinda realizing that wow. i really like him. but saying that i really like him isn't really cutting it anymore. and when i went to his house for a bday party for his uncle tonight, i kinda just realized that fuck. i fell in love with him, and i didn't even fully recognize it. just looking at him the whole night, seeing how much he cares for his family, how loud his laugh is when someone says something really funny, the way that he holds my hand or traces his fingers on my knee absentmindedly, the way that he remembers that i'm introverted so he always tries to look for signs of my social battery running out. i knew that i would do anything for him, but it didn't really hit me until that moment.

i just realized that i wanted this for our future. for us to have a house together, to invite family over. to host something like this, except that i would be the person scrambling to cook and he would be taking out the alcohol for people to choose from.

so when he was driving me home, all the emotions came rushing through me. we were at a light and he stopped at it, glancing at me (as he usually does). all it took was for me to look at his face for me to be close to tears.

he immediately asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing. it was really late and it's a long drive, so i didn't want to inconvenience him. but then, he turned into a gas station 2 mins after and looked at me like "what's wrong, baby?" and i just. started tearing up. he started to comfort me, thinking that something made me upset or mad but instead, i looked at him, took a few deep breaths to gather the courage, and kissed him. i pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, and i said "i love you, too" with tears in my eyes.

i still remember the way that his eyes widened before i wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, basically sobbing that i loved him. i was rambling at that point, being like “idk why i’m crying i’m not upset i’m so happy but idk i’m really emotional idk why i’m crying”. and then he asked me how i knew and i said that i didn’t really know, it just felt like something that i wanted to say. i just started spilling my heart out to him, saying that he makes me the happiest girl in the world, and that sometimes i care for him more than i care for myself, and how i want him to succeed in life and that i saw how he treats his family with such care and just???? i could tell that he was tearing up and i could just cry typing this out again.

then, he pulled out his phone and i was confused for a second, but then he started to pull up the convo he had with his ex - i really didn’t have anything to worry about. all he did was ask “how do u know if ur in love” and essentially just talked about me the entire time, saying that how much he liked me and how he didn’t know how to navigate all this because he’s never fallen so fast and hard for someone and that he thinks that i’m his last, that i’m the one. my heart :’)

then, all the details are a blur after that except for some. like i remember i was just rambling about my feelings and crying so i just pressed my forehead against his and tried to take a breath. but then, he said that he loved me too and his voice was cracking. once i heard those words come from him i immediately fell apart. he tucked his head into my neck and we hugged and cried. he pulled away just to look at me, and said that i was smart and beautiful and caring, and he loves that i love my family, that we laugh at the same stupid shit and that he imagines a future with us.

then, everything just made sense. all the times where he would hug me and pull away to look at me in the eyes, saying “i really like you.”, or when i said that i’ve always dreamed of having my own reading room with shelves of books that reached the ceiling (i told him this when we weren’t even dating), he remembered that and said “i really have to work harder on this program, this project will be a good asset on my resume when i’m applying for work after graduation. gotta afford a reading room, you know?” :’) or when he asked me how many years of dating would it take for me to think that it’s appropriate to get married, or when he said that he planned to date me for a very long time, or when he said that i make him want to be a better man.

then, in the midst of us crying, i said that i also think that he’s the one and he pulled me in for another kiss, hugged me, and we both just broke down and started to full on sob. i’m talking smiling and laughing and talking while crying, tears streaming down my face, saying that i think that he’s smart and kind and spontaneous and funny, and how i know that he can argue with his dad and sister but i know that he loves them, and that he loves his family very much. and how he’s always so in tune to my feelings that i don’t even notice. we were just sobbing in his car and hugging and kissing and saying that we loved eachother in the middle of a fucking gas station at 10:30 pm.

eventually when we calmed down, he started to drive again and i asked him how he knew. he couldn’t really pinpoint much either but he had some things. he said that he would remember the smallest details about me, like my mannerisms and such. the little random dances that i did when walking to his car when he picks me up, or when i wanted to show him something in the backyard and i reached for his hand. then, he said something so domestic and romantic that i just melted. on the last night of our staycation, he had sudden inspiration for his program and needed to do some quick research before bed. it was pretty late, 1 am it think, so i told him to come to bed soon. so, i decided to read a book until he was ready to sleep.

so, he told me that he looked at me on the bed, book in hand, glasses on, reading light on, and found so much comfort in it. we didn’t exchange any words, but he realized that he wanted that. for us to share a bed in a place that we have together. he wants that comfy future, and he wants it with me and adlkfjd :’)

i also asked how long he was waiting to say it, and he didn’t give me a specific timeline he just said that he watched a podcast where they were like “when is it ok to say i love you” and one girl said 3-4 months lol so he wanted to wait 3-4 months but couldn’t lol. which is ok, because i couldn’t wait 3-4 months either. essentially, we couldn’t really pinpoint how we knew, we just kinda knew?

so, he dropped me off home and said that he loved eachother before leaving. then, when he got home he texted me “have a good night, my love” and i want to SCREAM like THIS MAN IS NOT REAL alsdkfjdlk

anyways this is lovely. my feelings are all aldsfkjasdlkfjdafj but my bf loves me and i love him and there’s a mx comeback tomorrow. overall, it’s looking ok u guys :)

and to think that all this started with my friend forcing me to get a dating app :’)

#delete later

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the---hermit · 1 year

Note

Medicine is not kicking in and I'm in pain and tired (is this relevant?, no) so I need to occupie my brain in other things and my brain have questions and I'm sorry.

- What's your favourite and least favourite form of coffee?

- If you could re start over what major would you choose.? (Can't choose your current one, sorry brain rules)

- what's the most romantic thing you have ever done for someone and viceversa?

- Will you ever do a face reveal?

- what's your least favourite pasta? (Is it wrong to asume all Italians like pasta?)

- What's your worst irrational fear?

- Do you see yourself getting married and kids and all that stuff that a general public wants.

- Do you believe in LDRs work?

You do NOT need to answer at all I'm just typing without a filter.

Hello! I hope you'll feel better anon, happy to keep you company! I'll answer in order without copy all the questions, I'm lazy, sorry about that.

My go to coffee is a very simple espresso (how Italian of me I know, but it's so good). I really do not like americano coffee, I know with espresso you just get a couple of sips, but it gives me much more satisfaction than a big mug. I feel like americano has not the strong taste I link to coffee, I don't know it's probably what I am used to.

If I couldn't pick history/historical sciences again I'd probably study herbalism/herbal science no idea what's the name in English. To be really honest with you I'd like to do a course one day, aybe not a full degree but at least a small class on herbalism would be a dream.

I'm not the most romantic creature on this Earth, and I have never been in a relationship so I'll have to pick something in old friendships I had. Well, to really dig in the past, when I was in middle school I had this best friend (the fact that only years later our friendship ended I realized I very probably had feelings for her is a whole another story) and I know it will sound very stupid but she did not have a stable internet connection in her home, so what I did everyday, and I reapeat everyday, I wrote her emails like little letters with music I found, and idk whatever cute image a 12 yo can share with her friend, and I use to write little stories for her. Then when she came to my place we would go through them, and I just remember my joy of seeing her reading all the crap I wrote her, very lame but it holds a special place in my heart. Additionally another thing I did for another ex-friend of mine many many years after that was a personalized journal. She was struggling with her mental health so I custumed a journal for her to both work some stuff out and to get her spirits up a bit. Do these two very random yet specific things answer your question? No idea, you'll tell me.

I highly doubt I'll do a face reveal. Never say never but I hate taking pictures of myself, and I am not really a big social person, or else I wouldn't be on tumblr, would I?

We do eat a lot of pasta. What I have always found really funny is that non-Italians often consider pasta a dish to make in special occasions, or something that takes effort, here if you invite someone over at the very last minute you usually apologize because you can just cook a quick pasta and that's it. Anyway this is not what you asked me, I do not like big pasta like paccheri for example, and for a very specific reason, it get cold quicker, and I like my dishes to be as hot as possible. If with your question you meant what is my least favourite sauce I don't eat any kind of cheese so anything with that.

I am pretty scared of water, I can't swim so big bodies of water are not my thing, and for some reason the idea of drowning sounds like one of the worse possible deaths. I'm trying to think other irrational fears I have but I can't think of any at the moment, I surely have more.

I am not opposed to marriage, but I don't really feel the need, does that make sense? I mean I consider marriage more of a useful thing in terms taxes and other practical stuff, but emotionally or ideally it's just not something I care. If you love someone and feel good around them having a wedding ring won't change that. So you could say I am pretty indifferent to that, as for kids I absolutely do not want any. I am terrible with infants, I do not want that responsability thank you very much.

Starting with the fact that I just googled LDR, and assuming google isn't lying to me and that means long distance relationships, I think it really depends on the people involved. I don't know I personally would be able to make that work, but as I mentioned I have never been in a relationship before so I don't know if I could make anything work.

I ended up answering to all of them (I think?). I always have fun with these things, and hey you also kept me company with all this stuff! As I said I hope you'll feel better, and when you need distraction I am more than happy to help! Have a good night/day!

(I typed this quite quickly and I did not reread it, which means there will be lots of mistakes, pretend there aren't thanks)

#i never had such a long ask but it was fun #ask #asked #asks #answered #anon #random facts about me I guess #cris speaks #the---hermit

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silverystormwing · 1 year

Photo

guess who took a two-page midterm and turned it into a four page midterm me! that’s who!

i suffered but happy I did it and now I’m going to go beat up some monsters in witcher or something mindless

Character: Tel

Time taken: idk man but the speedpaint is 42 minutes long at full speed

Program: Clip Studio Paint

because i’m lazy here’s the full speedpaint w/no cuts that I may or may not add music to and slice up later

I do want to do more comics but... later, I need to recover my braincells

the final has the option to do hand-drawn animation and I’m just

oh boy!! I’m going to plot something ambitious and Die

written story version can be found below!

“Thought I’d find you out here… all you alright? Tel? Tel?”

“What!?” Tel snapped, turning to Iole with a snarl drawing their lips back from their teeth, revealing their long, sharp teeth. The cracks that usually wove across his skin in set patterns were expanding, moving, so that most of his skin glowed a pale gold in the night.

Tel’s expression changed as they realized who they had just yelled at, and she looked away, hands clenching tighter on the railing. She started to say something, turning back to Iole, but gave up, and dragged his hands through his hair agitatedly, not sure what to say. Emotions still warred inside of him, tainting whatever he thought of, and with a deep breath, he tried to calm down, even as he couldn’t meet Iole’s eyes.

A silence.

“...You did not… deserve that. I am… sorry.” Tel’s voice was odd, strangled, forced. They still did not feel calm, they needed to tell their cousin something. That they hadn’t meant to snap, that they wanted to apologize, but the words they thought of either wrang hollow or refused to come out. He’d never been any good at things like this.

“You’re right I didn’t.” Iole, didn’t move from where she stood, expression mixed, and Tel winced.

“I’m sorry,” she insisted, because she was, but even to her ears, ‘sorry’ didn’t feel like nearly enough, “I- Fuck.” I’m not good with words, she wanted to say, but that also felt like nothing more than an excuse, so she settled for glaring at the railing between her hands.

There was the sound of quiet footsteps in the silence, and Iole came closer, reaching up to rest one hand gently on Tel’s shoulder. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” She said quietly, “But be careful not to snap at someone that doesn’t know that, okay?”

Tel twitched and nodded, trying not to think about that happening. It was - something that he was terrified of happening, even though he hadn’t lost control like that in a long time. Until tonight, anyway. But before he could stew in his own thoughts for too long, Iole’s voice broke into his thoughts again.

“...what was that, anyway?” She looked up at her and tilted her head questioningly.

Confused, Tel just gave her a questioning look back.

“Your face was all, well,” Iole raised her hand slowly, giving them ample time to move away, but when they didn’t, gently poked the side of Tel’s face. “glowy. More than usual.”

Tel snorted and shrugged, “It’s a side effect. Of,” she motioned at herself, “all the other fuckery going on with me. They spread when I’m… upset.” They shrugged again, not really sure what Iole wanted, emotions still shifting messily internally.

“Ah.” Iole paused, and Tel wondered what was taking her so long.“...Does it hurt?”

Tel turned to frown at Iole fully, confused. “Hurt? No, it doesn’t hurt. Feels weird, maybe. But it doesn't hurt.” He paused awkwardly, not sure what to add to assure her that it wasn’t anything to be worried over.

But, she seemed to take his assurance, and nodded, squeezing his shoulder absently. The two of them stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Tel’s mess of emotions slowly calming down into something more manageable.

“...I think it’s safe to assume that you had a chat with your parent, then?” Iole glanced up at them sidelong, almost apologetic.

Tel snorted derisively, frustration twisting through their voice anew. “What gave it away?” they asked almost sarcastically, but Iole only sighed quietly and rested her head on their shoulder, looking out over the landscape.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

No. “Mm. How loud was it this time?” Tel had no interest in discussing any of the barbed comments they or their parent had thrown at each other. The one upside of the last few years being away was that they hadn’t had to deal with the backhanded compliments or pointed comments - but they had paid for that with this conversation.

“Didn’t break any records.” Iole glanced up at her and Tel could sense the worry and concern in her gaze, but ignored it stubbornly.

The silence that fell after that was a strained one, and after a few moments, Tel couldn’t take it.

“Figured I’d bite the bullet and talk to them on my own terms about…” they started abruptly, then paused and motioned at themself, “all of this.” Tel ignored Iole’s started look at them speaking, and carried on, words flowing now that they had started. She deserved some explanation, even if they didn’t want to talk.

“That shitshow was going to happen anyways, rather I be the one choosing when and where than them.” Tel paused, jaw clenching in anger at the memory of some of the wards that had been launched at them. “Went about as fucking expected,” they managed, voice strained.

“You don’t deserve what they say to you, you know that? Any of it.”

Iole’s voice was calm, but there was the steel of anger behind it, and her words were firm. She looked up at them, and Tel met her eyes briefly then glanced away, uncomfortable. Iole sighed at that and reached out slowly to gently pry one of their hands off of the railing to wrap her fingers around it, and Tel returned the gesture, squeezing her hand gently.

“Oh, I know that,” Tel said after a pause, trying to input a bravado they didn’t feel into their voice, “most. Of the time.”

There was a silence, and then Tel started again, quieter, almost whispering, glaring down towards the ground, “Other times - other times I. I don’t know what to think.”

It was an admission that made them deeply uncomfortable to make, even if they trusted Iole implicitly. A small part of their mind expected her to laugh at their admission of uncertainly and turn it against them, and though Tel did their best to silence it, it still whispered that fear into the brief pause.

Instead of that, though, Iole hugged them, and after a brief hesitation Tel hugged her back, a slight edge of desperation in their movements.

“Just because your parent’s an idiot doesn’t mean the rest of us are.” She told them bluntly, words firm and unyielding, and reached up to gently take their face in her hands so he couldn’t glance away. “We love you, you impulsive idiot for a cousin. We can see that you’re doing your damned best - and that’s what matters.”

She brushed some imaginary hair back from their face and gave him a small but genuine smile, and wrapped her arms around them again. When she spoke again, though, it was in a more sly tone of voice, one like the one she had used to propose plots when they were younger.

“Our opinion matters… not the one of some withered up dry fish in the attic.”

Tel couldn’t help but snort at that, and it turned into a genuine laugh after a moment. “...they do look like an old, disapproving fish, huh.” They glanced down at Iole with a small smile creeping across their face despite their still confused emotions.

“...thank you,” they said quietly.

#original character #original art #comic #original comic #original artwork #drawn comic #digital comic #my artwrok #my art #digital art #clip studio paint #this feral cat of a person has taken over my braincells for the past month #and yknow Im good with that #human #human art #fantasy

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miamia980198019801 · 1 year

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1.5.23

oh my god. what the hell? so i still think about chesco sometimes and this morning i was especially thinking about him, i looked up his check in history even which i haven’t done in forever just because he was on my mind. and then emily got a call from him saying he’s coming to get towels. i was so nervous i had no idea how he would act towards me. i came out when i was done mopping and he was talking to cesar and he was startled to see me, he said hi and i was like hey what’s up? and then after i put the mop stuff away i came back. when cesar went to the bathroom he was like so mia what you been on? and we just made small talk about work and i asked how his mom is doing. he said oh your hair’s long now?, we just kept it really light especially since emily was right there. i hate to say this but i was so happy to see him. i forgot how beautiful his eyes are and i wish that we got to talk in private but i don’t even know what the fuck either of us would say. i would want an apology but i don’t think i could even trust that it was genuine. he’s back working at bloomingdale thursdays and fridays. it’s such a weird feeling to miss the person who traumatized me but i always end up doing that. i thought he was a good friend of mine for over a year and we went through a lot together and i’m very attracted to him even now and it just feels so weird. i wish he would text me or come in again and just tell me he’s sorry. i miss him and i miss our friendship. even if he was such an asshole and would talk so much shit about me, i miss talking to him. that was at like 10:30 this morning and i still can’t get him off my mind. i fucking miss him. i had went to the back to fix my makeup while they were talking and he left so i didn’t get to say goodbye but i’m thinking about going to bloomingdale tomorrow. i don’t know. i really don’t know. also, idk about cesar anymore. i will always be extremely in love with him. yesterday we fucked and he came, i thought that was cute because he doesn’t usually, i think it’s the steroids or something that he takes, or maybe just because he’s old. the other day after we fucked i whispered i love you and then i got up and asked if we’ll ever be anything more than what we’re doing right now. he said what he always does, “we’ll see”. i think i just need to force myself to get over him, he will never be mine. even if he constantly jokes like this morning where he said he’s moving to carol stream to move in with me. we always joke like that about being together and stuff but to me it’s not a joke. next week will be a year since i started hanging out with him and when my life changed forever. i just need to focus on myself and get enrolled in school and stop being so sad over these guys who don’t care about me. also, fuck taylor. she said we can’t be friends again because i hooked up with josh again and that our situation is just too messy and sad. josh texted me and said she’s lying and that he wouldn’t do me like that. i don’t know who i trust anymore or who cares about me. i need to meet new people. tonight i’m going on a date with victor to lazy dog and i don’t wanna go. i don’t wanna be around him but i also crave love and affection and distraction and wanna stop feeling like i’m missing out and wasting my youth being depressed in my bed. fuck. i don’t really know what this stage of my life is but it feels very sad and serious and boring and exhausting and repetitive and i need to make some changes immediately. i’m gonna visit leila when she gets out of rehab and make a plan with her. i feel like both of us are hanging on our last threads and it makes me so sad

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mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Move This Along

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After months of waiting, Spencer decides he finally wants to have sex with Reader. Category: SMUT (18+) Warnings: Language, sex (oral sex- female receiving, virgin!Spence, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie) Word Count: 5.6k

Full Request: “...so a smutty oneshot with like virgin!spencer but im talkling like baby spence. and hes super blushy and cute but then when it happens its rlly raunchy and therws a lot of dirty talk. and like reader doesnt work at the bau but theyre close friends. and like she goes out to a bar with him and the team and they tease him so then she takes him home and literally fucks him after a movie or smth idk...” — @mggscumrag

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to do this, but once I did, it came out so quickly! I hope it’s to your liking 🥰

***

The first time she went out to meet Elle's friends from work, Y/N found herself absolutely nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was always great with meeting new people, but for some reason, the prospect of meeting her next-door neighbor's co-workers seemed to really do a number on her.

She remembers how anxious she'd been, constantly worrying that they wouldn't like her, not to mention they were all probably super smart and strong and intimidating, just like Elle. Anyone who aided in putting away serial killers, rapists, and other monsters had to be just about the most intimidating personality there ever was.

But as Y/N soon learned, that wasn't quite the case at all.

To be fair, they were all intimidating in their own little ways, though it was really easy to forget about that when she was laughing with them, sharing drinks and stories, and exchanging phone numbers to stay in touch.

That's how she and Spencer had come to be good friends. Despite how obviously shy he was whenever they saw each other, the two of them managed to have conversations on just about everything. It usually happened that he talked and she listened to whatever he was teaching her, but she'd always add on the occasional, "Wow, I didn't know that," or "That's really fascinating." All of which she could tell he was surprised at and appreciated.

And since the first time they met at Elle's birthday party, the night she met the whole team for the first time, they'd been practically inseparable. While Y/N was good friends with the whole team, save for Gideon, who always seemed to like it better by himself, her relationship with Spencer seemed to even surpass the bond she'd built with her neighbor-slash-best friend.

Elle even told her as much one Saturday night, as the two of them were driving to the bar to meet up with everyone for a few drinks.

She'd mentioned it as a joke, but Y/N was instantly apologetic.

Elle only laughed. "Don't apologize. Actually, I think it's good that Reid has another friend outside of work. You're good for him. And you know, I think he has a little crush on you."

Warmth rushed to Y/N's cheeks, and she tried to hide it but failed miserably, causing Elle to give her a knowing smile. "Y—You don't know what you're talking about, Elle, it's not like that."

"Oh come on, it totally is. You give him the light of day when no one else does, he talks about you all the time, and everyone at work knows it."

She paused. "They... do?"

"Of course they do, we're all profilers, but it doesn't take one to see how obsessed that boy is with you. I think you should go for it."

Y/N would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about asking him out. But in the end she had always figured it was a little weird, being that she was friends with all his and Elle's co-workers and she'd kinda been adopted into their family of sorts. But hearing what her neighbor was saying... She started to think differently about it.

"You really think so?"

Elle nodded. "Absolutely."'

"Okay," she replied with an excited smile. "Maybe I will, then."

A week later and the two of them started dating. Y/N always thinks back to the first few weeks of their relationship, how adorably shy and blush-prone Spencer was, even after they'd been together for some time. They spent almost all their free time together, and it still seemed like he was nervous to be around her. He'd assured her on multiple occasions that that wasn't the case, but Y/N still wondered why he hadn't fully warmed up to being around her.

Especially in public. Oh, in public it was worse. Y/N clung to his arm, and his face immediately got red. What confused her the most, though, was that every time she pulled away to make him more comfortable, he pulled her back in, seemingly desperate to feel her warmth.

In the end she and Spencer had grown to develop their own little communication system for public settings, something to let the other know when something was really wrong, and when to ask if the other was comfortable.

One night everyone was meeting after a rough case somewhere in Denver, and Y/N offered to buy everyone drinks once Spencer had called to tell her they were all back. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to do that, but it had been a while, so everyone was quick to except. Well, mostly everyone— Gideon as per usual went his separate way, and Hotch was eager to get home and see his family.

Y/N was waiting for them at their favorite bar downtown when she heard a loud squeal that sounded a lot like her name. Sure enough, it was easy to spot a very yellow-clad Penelope Garcia headed straight towards her with her arms stretched out for a hug when she turned around. The smile she adorned was instantaneous as her arms came out a well, embracing Penelope with a large hug that almost knocked the wind out of her.

"I missed you!" she exclaimed, still hugging Y/N and swaying them back and forth a little. "I mean, I know I don't ever travel with the team, but because of that we should hang out more."

"Next time I need some company, I know who to call."

Y/N spotted Spencer then, behind Penelope and patiently waiting for a greeting. She smiled at him and whispered, "Hi," to which Penelope must have heard.

She quickly released her from their embrace and stepped out of the way. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your boy wonder."

She laughed as she transferred from Penelope's arms to Spencer's. He muttered a little, "Hi," into her hair as she squeezed him and shoved her face into his neck. If she had to bet, he was probably red as a tomato right now with how close her mouth was to his neck—it was his weakness and she knew it. And just to tease him a little bit she quickly kissed up his neck, his jaw, and placed a decent peck on his lips before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

Despite the shy smile and the blush adorning his cheeks, he squeezed her hand tight and kept her at his side like they would die if they weren't touching at all times.

Everyone gave little greetings to Y/N as they all made their way to a large booth near the back. Y/N was sitting on one side with Elle to her right and Spencer to her left, while Derek, Penelope, and JJ sat across from them. Y/N got them all their preferred drinks, and a beer for herself, which Spencer couldn't help but find oddly attractive.

He glanced over at her as she took swigs from the bottle as the night progressed, and for whatever reason the sight made his insides all warm and tingly. And when she used her unoccupied hand to grab his under the table, rubbing gentle circles over the inside of his palm with her thumb, he'd never felt more in love with another person. He wasn't even drinking any alcohol, yet his head swam and his heart soared all the same, every bone in his body humming with euphoria at just the mere thought of her.

He must have been staring a little too obviously, because Derek kicked his leg under the table, pulling him from the lovesick daydream he never wanted to leave.

"I can't tell if those are cute ol' puppy dog eyes or bedroom eyes," Derek laughed, and everyone laughed right alongside him.

"Oh, stop it," Penelope said, swatting his arm. "He's obviously just very in love with her, what more could you need to know?"

"Oh, come on, tell me you're not curious to know how they... operate."

She smacked him harder this time, and everyone laughed.

Knowing her boyfriend didn't really care for the spotlight, especially when it came to their relationship, Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand under the table in reassurance. She drew a question mark in his palm, their signal for, "Are you uncomfortable?" And he responded by drawing an "X" in her palm, their answer for, "No." She laced their fingers together then, and set her beer down.

"Morgan, our sex life isn't any of your business," she stated simply.

Spencer felt his stomach churn at the sentence, if only because said sex life was, as of late, non-existent.

He and Y/N had made out a lot, sure, but the one time they did try having sex, he made it about ten seconds being inside of her before he finished, and since then he'd been kind of embarrassed about it. They only ever made out since then, because before it ever got that far he stopped it, nervous that he'd disappoint her.

And now his non-existent sex life was the topic of conversation, and if anyone picked up on it, he would have felt worse about the whole thing.

So, he didn't stop himself from speaking. "But if you must know, it's great."

Y/N's hand tensed up in his, and she looked over at him, shock marinating in her eyes. To anyone else it would have looked like she was surprised he'd even bring it up, but he knew she was most likely more curious to know why he'd lied about it.

Their friends laughed regardless, Elle adding a curious and joking, "Care to elaborate?"

Ready to change the subject, Spencer shook his head. "Nope."

"Yeah, actually I think we're gonna head out early," Y/N added. Spencer was suddenly worried he'd made her upset, but she rubbed gentle circles into his hand that reassured him everything was okay.

He got out of the booth and Y/N followed, as their friends grumbled.

"Oh, come on, we didn't mean to embarrass you guys," Derek said.

"No, that's not it," Y/N said as she threw on a light jacket. "You just reminded me how much I'd like to operate with my boyfriend since I haven't seen him in a few days, so we're leaving. Have a good night."

Spencer felt searing heat rise to his cheeks as he turned around and ushered Y/N out the door, accompanied by low whistles and claps from their friends.

***

The two of them were sitting on the couch now, Y/N having just set down a couple classes of water.

"Sorry if you wanted to stay," she said quietly, playing with her thumbs. "You know we don't... actually have to operate if you don't want, obviously, I was just looking for something to say..."

"Oh, Y/N, I know. Don't worry about it. Really, I... I was the one who even brought it up, I should have just let you handle it."

She looked up at him with a small smile. "Why.. did you bring it up anyway?"

"Well, I... I guess I just felt embarrassed. And I know what we do together isn't any of their business, but I was just... I really was thinking about how much I love you, and when Morgan brought it up, I felt like I wasn't... living up? To your expectations? I don't..." He sighed, unsure how to properly articulate how he was feeling. "I don't know. I just thought about the last time we tried having sex, and I felt embarrassed about it, that's all."

"Oh, honey," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him and bringing her hand up to brush some of the hair from his face. "You know, you... don't have anything to prove, right? I know how much you love me, and you don't need to be having sex with me to show me, I hope you know that."

Still, he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I do," he choked out, pulling at the hem of his shirt. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Y/N's tongue clicked, and she leaned into him, wrapping one of her arms around his neck and placing the other across his lap. She held him tight and kissed the side of his head. "Don't you ever be sorry, unless you cheat on me. Then there will be something to be sorry about."

He laughed at her joke, turning his head to brush his nose against hers. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she whispered, giving him the lightest of kisses on the lips.

When she pulled away, he leaned in again, kissing her a little harder, and she gladly reciprocated. With every passing second, all of his worries started to melt away like the snow to her sunshine. Within every kiss was an emanation of outpouring love and comfort that warmed his soul and gave him the confidence to try something bold.

His hands threaded through her hair as he drew her in closer, and instinctively, she climbed over his lap, resting her hands on his shoulders as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue. The sound of her sigh as she opened up to him and allowed him to fully explore her mouth with his made his stomach bubble and tense.

This would be about the time where he'd stop, telling Y/N that they should slow down, and she'd sweetly oblige and stay cuddled into his side as they drifted off to sleep.

But tonight he didn't want that.

Tonight he wanted more.

While one of his hands remained in her hair, gently massaging her scalp, the other snaked down to her lower back. He gently slid his fingers under the fabric of her shirt and pressed his palm flat against her, pulling her closer to him with a desperation that both shocked and excited her.

Deciding to test the waters, Y/N rolled her hips, feeling him jump slightly underneath her, followed by a whine that vibrated her mouth and sent a low hum of pressure through her stomach.

Still, she pulled away.

Well... She tried to.

When she pulled her face away from him, Spencer used the hand in her hair to bring her back, tilting his head in the other direction and continuing to kiss her with enough passion for the both of them. And it didn't help that the sound she made when he did it spurred him on. She whimpered loudly into his mouth, and the hand on her back involuntarily slid down to grab her ass.

"Hey," she managed to get out when he pulled away momentarily for air. "Hey, you don't... We don't have to really do this if you don't want. I—I don't want you to think that what happened earlier means we have to have sex."

"Y/N..." His hand gently kneaded her ass, and against her better judgement, she rolled her hips again, sighing out against his lips. "I don't want to put it off any longer... Really, I... I want to. I want to show you how much I love you."

She kissed him softly again, bringing both of her hands up to cradle his face. "You already do. Every day."

She was giving him an out, and Spencer appreciated it. But with the way his insides were practically melting away at her presence, he knew more than anything that this was what he wanted.

"I know," he said. "But if you don't mind, today I'd like to show you a little extra." And then he kissed her deeply again.

Her hands tightened on his face, right before they slid up and through his hair. She gently tugged at it, and he let out one of the most delicious sounds she'd ever heard. For future reference, she relished in that sound, in that feeling, and made a mental note to try it out some more when they got further along in their sexual path.

But tonight, she would let him call the shots. He was finally ready to try it again, and seeing how confident he grew in his touches and kisses when she submitted to him, it was the simplest decision.

So she remained on his lap until he made another move, encouraging him with whimpers and languid rolls of her hips against his. Her hands grew frenzied in his hair when he dipped his hand past the waistband of her jeans and underwear, sticking his fingers in only about a knuckle deep. The warmth of his hands against her bare skin sent shivers down her spine, which she let show by involuntarily grinding down on his lap.

Spencer groaned deeply more than whined this time, his grip on her hands gripping tighter to her backside. He forced himself to remove his mouth from hers long enough to breathe out, "Bedroom. Please."

As much as Y/N didn't want to get off of his lap, she knew that what waited for her in the bedroom would be worth the momentary loss of complete physical contact. So she peeled herself away from her boyfriend, grabbing him by the hand, and lead him to her bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he was on her again, caging her face between his large hands and capturing her lips in another heated kiss. They moved backwards until she hit her back against the door, and the second their movement stopped, Spencer used their standing position to press his full body weight into her, their legs tangling together.

Meanwhile, Y/N was trying to figure out where to put her hands. She wanted to brace them on his chest, but it was pressed tightly against hers. So they wandered over his back, but she couldn't decide whether to place them under his shirt or on his butt. Or maybe she wanted to grip his arms to feel the veins as they strained against his skin from holding her face. The possibilities were quite endless.

So endless that they were even surprising—Spencer noticed her wandering hands and promptly decided to place them where he wanted, which was apparently above her head. He removed his hands from her face and pinned her wrists to the door above her head, and she huffed a breath as he pulled away to speak.

"Is this okay? I wasn't too... too rough?"

The concern swimming in his lust-filled eyes drew a little whimper from her throat as she struggled to find the right words. But finally, she settled on, "That was so fucking hot..."

Relief flashed over his gaze right before he grinned. His fingers flexed against her wrists, and even though she couldn't see them, she could imagine how it looked. And it really was fucking hot.

Seeing the expression on her face, Spencer leaned forward again and kissed her one last time. Their lips moved together hungrily, dancing in perfect synchronization, the music being the frantic beating of their hearts.

And then he started to trail his kisses down her jaw and neck, keeping her hands firmly pinned to the door. Usually she was the one to explore his neck with her tongue and teeth, but this time he wanted to try it for himself. Mirroring what he'd felt her do to him hundreds of times over, he soaked in every single sound she made, from the little whimpers of pleasure to the soft, choked whispers of his name dancing over her lips. And when her hips canted forward, searching for any kind of friction, he decided to grant it to her.

As his kisses moved down along her collarbone, his hands gently slid down with him, over her arms and then down to the bottom of her shirt as he kneeled in front of her. He lifted the shirt slowly, each new inch of exposed skin being met with soft kisses until it reached her breasts. He reached up to palm them over her bra while he trailed his kisses downward again.

Even though she was wearing jeans, he pressed kisses to her legs anyway. She squirmed under his touch, and the feeling made his heart soar.

"Please, Spence," she huffed, bringing her hands down to lay overtop of his. She felt the tendons and veins in his hands as they squeezed her, and with everything she had, she tried not to beg him to use them in more interesting places. She wanted to let him take his time, to be a vessel for his exploration, but it was growing harder every second to be patient.

Thankfully he seemed to get what she was feeling, because his hands slid out from under her shirt and rested at her jeans. "Can I take these off?"

The fact that he even asked when she so clearly begged him to do it made her heart swell. "Please do," she chuckled, though it turned into a choked sigh when his fingers actually started undoing the button. And at the sound of her zipper going down, she could have come undone right there.

He pulled her jeans down slowly and helped her step out of them. And she thought maybe he'd take the next step and do the same with her underwear, but he opted to use his mouth instead.

With gentle kisses, he traced the hem of the fabric all the way to either side of her waist. And then he looked up at her with curious eyes and shifted his face, pressing his nose right up against where her clit would be. Her hands immediately went to his hair, but he grabbed her wrists again and laid them at her sides. "Do you want me to move this along?" His voice wasn't teasing as much as it was genuine curiosity.

Still, Y/N resisted the urge to tell him yes. "I—I want you to do whatever feels right. Tonight's... about you. What you want."

"Well, what I want is to make you feel good. So, again... Do you want me to move this along?"

Every time his lips moved, they brushed up against where she desperately wanted him. And it was killing her. So, she nodded vigorously. "Yes, please," she whispered.

And with that, Spencer released her hands and used his fingers to gently rub her over the fabric. The contact made her shiver visibly, and he took that as a good sign. So he wasted no more time and replaced his fingers with his tongue, fluttering his eyes closed at the taste of her. And he knew that once the thin fabric was gone it would be stronger, but even then he was thoroughly wrecked.

He kept lapping his tongue over her, feeling her panties get wetter with ever second, and he only finally removed them when she started grinding her hips closer to his face, desperate for more.

When he did finally bring his tongue to fully taste her for the first time, they both let out the filthiest sounds, months and months of build-up starting to come to a head. He tasted her like he would an ice cream cone, and for the first few moments his eyes remained closed, all his focus on this brand new sensation. But he wanted nothing more than to see her react to him. So he opened his eyes and continued his ministrations, pupils blowing wide at the sight of her above him.

She was panting, her mouth hung open and her tongue just barely peeking out over her bottom lip. Her eyes remained shut, though Spencer could tell she was struggling to open them. With a tentative flick of his tongue over her clit, he took notice of the little gasp she made, and he knew he'd found it. So he repeated his action, providing small kitten licks to her clit as she picked up her breathing and clenched her hands at her sides.

He picked up the pace then, taking note of every little thing that made her cry out or jump with pleasure until she was clutching his hair. He was sucking on her clit now, his middle finger gently sliding in and out of her when she spoke.

"Oh, fuck, keep doing that. I'm... I'm almost..."

He felt her tighten around his finger as she started careening off the edge, and he did his best to keep his eyes on her face, because it had practically been haunting him, wondering what it would be like to see her come undone at his mercy.

To say it was better than he could have ever dreamed was a severe understatement.

Y/N's head leaned back against the door, her chin jutted out so he could see the beautiful contours of her chin and neck. He saw her throat contract as she moaned out his name, saw her chest heave as she struggled to catch her breath, and best of all, he felt her flutter around his finger and mouth. And if that was high inducing, he couldn't wait to feel wat it would be like to replace them with something else.

The mere thought had him trembling.

He pulled back when she huffed out an over-stimulated, "Okay, please, please stop, oh..."

Though it could just as easily have been a painful sentiment, the hungry, dazed look in her eye suggested otherwise.

Spencer stood up and brought his finger to his mouth, still caught up in her taste before she ripped his wrist away and kissed him, threading her fingers through his hair and moaning into his mouth.

Before he could get lost in it, though, she pulled away and nodded. "Okay. I think you're wearing too many clothes."

He tilted his head down in a little flush, and with the help of Y/N, his shirt peeled away from his body and joined her pants and underwear on the floor.

Y/N mirrored his actions, kissing gently down his jaw, neck, and then down his torso. Her hands wandered his bare back as she sunk to her knees. But when her hands moved to his belt, he stopped her.

"W—wait."

She peeled her hands away and looked up at him. "Are you okay? Do you want to slow down?"

He visibly swallowed, and she could read that look on his face that he got whenever he was embarrassed to tell her something. "N—no, I... I want... the opposite, actually."

"I don't follow..."

"Well, I know that... if you return the favor, I won't last very long, a—and I... I don't want to wait anymore."

Y/N smiled, standing again and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So you're saying you... want me to move this along?"

Spencer smiled at her recollection of his words. "Yes, please."

They travelled to the bed then, Y/N taking off her shirt and bra when they got there, and leaving her completely bare to him. She sat down and reached for his belt, looking up at him as he stood.

"I'm clean and on birth control, do you still want to use a condom? I have some in my table drawer."

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "As long as you're sure."

Y/N undid his belt quickly and threw it to the side, making work of his button and zipper with a smile. "Oh I'm so sure..."

The way she said it made his dick twitch, images running through his mind of how it would look seeing her filled and dripping with—

Her hand was palming him through his underwear now, and it was all he could think about. He had already been hard before, but now it was tilting on the precipice of painful pleasure. So he stopped her, taking a deep breath.

"Lay down?"

"However you want me," Y/N answered, positioning herself on the bed so she was leaning back, her head nicely laid out on the pillows.

Spencer swallowed and removed his underwear before climbing on the bed and kneeling over her. Her legs were already wide, feet flat on either side of him as he positioned himself and got ready.

She reached out and gently grabbed his forearm, a gentle smile on her face. "You ready?"

"Mhm," he answered with a curt nod, bringing himself forward to run the head of his dick through her wetness. They both sighed at the feeling, and Spencer knew he was in trouble.

It was finally happening, he was getting another chance to have sex with her, and if he didn't last long again, he was going to—

"I love you," Y/N said reassuringly, rubbing circles into the hand that rested on the inside of her thigh.

He looked into her eyes and saw that love radiating from them. It warmed his insides and gave him the confidence he needed to finally, slowly push into her as he whispered, "I love you, too."

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, he let out a large breath, leaning down to brace his arms on either side of her head. The pressure of her clenched around him was overwhelming in the best way possible, and he never wanted to move.

But he had to.

She stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses all over his face, and whispered, "I love you."

With those three words, Spencer had the courage to pull back and then forward again, testing the waters and more accurately, his limits. He picked up a slow pace that burned him from the inside out, every muscle and vein in his body on fire with the knowledge that he was finally, properly making love to the woman he was pretty sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

But he was holding back. Y/N could tell. He glided through her with ease, sure, but his eyes were squeezed shut like he was concentrating, like he was pacing himself and trying to hold on to this feeling.

She moved her hands down to his back and lightly ran her fingernails over the skin, feeling him tremble under her touch.

"You feel so good, Spence," she whispered. "So perfect for me..."

The words made his hips stutter just a little, and Y/N knew then what the hesitation was.

He wanted to go faster.

So she moved her fingers lower, cupping his ass and scratching featherlight circles into the skin as she moaned. "You like when I talk to you, baby? Does hearing my voice help you out?"

Spencer choked out a groan as he opened his eyes and saw how feral she looked. Her pupils were blown wide, her mouth was pouted cutely, and she smiled as soon as she saw him bite his lip.

"You wanna go faster?" she cooed, digging her fingernails a little harder into the flesh of his ass. "Hmm?"

"F—fuck, Y/N... I..."

"You fuck me however you need to, baby. Don't hold back. Just let it all out."

He groaned out then, his hips picking up speed. She felt the relief and the tension rolling off his body as he finally gave into his urges, and it was just about the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"That's it, baby... Don't stop... Give it to me, let me feel you..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, pumping into her harder and harder with every second. She moaned out against his mouth, swallowing all his breaths and grunts. Meanwhile her fingers gripped his ass harder, relishing in the feeling of his muscles as they aided in fucking her.

His mouth pulled away as he shoved his face into her neck, and she sighed. "You're doing so good, baby. Fuck... " His hips kept moving, and she clenched around him hard, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Sure enough, he groaned against her neck and canted his hips harder. Every thrust forward now was so deep he hit her g-spot, and the sensation made her sigh with a smile. "That's fucking right, baby... Just like that, don't stop, don't stop. You fe—el so... ohhh."

Her words lit this fire in him that was impossible to put out. His body was hers for the taking, and so he'd give her everything he had. Which is why he picked up the pace and fucked into her as hard as he could, dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Spence, I'm gonna... —na..."

Y/n's moans turned into a quiet scream as she came, clenching tightly around his dick and digging her fingernails into his ass. Her eyes squeezed shut with the swirling patterns of fireworks exploding behind them, meanwhile he twitched inside of her and lost it at last. As she came down, she helped him hold himself there, deep inside her as his cum spilled over in warm increments. They both moaned out at the feeling, all their tension easing and dissipating.

By the end, all that was left between the both of them was a thin sheen of sweat and murmured promises of "I love you."

They could have fallen asleep right there. Y/N's hands slid up his backside, over his arms, and then to the back of his head, combing gently through his disheveled hair as he pressed loving kisses to the patch of skin where her neck met her collarbone. He was still inside her, unwilling to leave the warmth she provided, and she did nothing to object.

"How are you feeling?" she finally asked, opening her eyes.

Spencer tilted his head up to look at her, his heart once again swelling at the adoring look in her eyes. "I'm great."

She laughed, and he laughed with her. And they were silent for a few moments before he spoke again.

"So, uh... What we just did is what we're counting as our real first time together, right? Like, the other time doesn't count?"

Y/N laughed again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "If you want to count this as our first time, then yes. I'd be more than happy to agree with you."

"Good. This was much better."

Even though she would never hold their first first time together against him, she was inclined to agree.

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shoftiiel · 3 years

Text

bound to you: 13

"why didn't you tell me?"

synopsis: y/n is the new girl in town, she would like to escape from her past and begin a new life without any romance drama, but what happens when she caught the attention of a certain boy who happens to be one of her brother’s best friends.

word count: 1.1 k

warnings: some cusing, kind of angsty

a/n: sorry if there are any mistakes, so this is my fisrt time trying to write angst so it migth be kind of idk weird¿¿¿

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Why was Jake being so upset about it? I did nothing wrong, or did i? Maybe I should have told him? Those thoughts had been stuck in your head all day, but everytime someone looked at you, your expression changed quickly, you couldn't allow yourself to let anyone see you were not okay. You have been doing this your whole life, it was tiring to be honest, but you did not want to burden anyone with your problems. The bell rang indicating that the last class was over, as you walked in the hall someone approached you.

“hey y/n” it was heeseung, “just checking, we are meeting today right?”

“yes” he was probably checking because you canceled yesterday, cute you thought “i'm just going to my dorm to take a quick shower and grab my notes on the project”

“okay, see you in a bit” heeseung said as he waved at you, you couldn't put your finger on it but there was something with heeseung, you have never had a conversation that was not related to school and yet he treated you as if he had known you for years, it's probably because he is friends with jake you thought was you headed back to your dorm.

your phone had been buzzing like crazy all day, it was jake. To be honest you did not want to talk to him, he was being overprotective, usually it didn't bother you but this time he had gone a little too far. This was the first time you and Jake had a big fight, of course you did fight a lot but it was over small things like hat program to watch or if you had stolen his clothes, eventually he came around and gave you what you wanted, he hated not talking to you, but this time was different, obviously there was something else behind and you ghoting him definitely did not help, not at all.

You took a quick shower, put on some makeup so that it wasn't obvious that you had been crying, grabbed your notes, put on your headphones and began walking to where you were supposed to meet heeseung. Too focused on the lyrics of the songs that were sounding in your ears you freaked out when someone grabbed your arm, you looked up and saw Jake, he said something to you that you definitely did not hear because your music was too loud.

“what?” You said you removed your headphones.

“Will you stop ignoring me?” he looked annoyed, which only made you angrier “it is childish” he scoffed.

“I will stop ignoring you when you apologize to me” you looked away , you were not seeing his face but you could clearly feel that he was offended.

“y/n why are you acting like this?” he raised his tone, he had never talked to you like this before, honestly you felt like crying, “why does it bother you so much? i don't understand, you did stuff like this all the time”

“Why didn't you tell me?” he was yelling “What if something happened? ” At this point he was just repeating what he had said yesterday.

“Well nothing happened right?” you couldn’t stop yourself from crying anymore “Jake for the first time in my life i have friends, so sorry if it bothers you, but it's my life and you cant tell me how to fucking live it”

“what do you mean for the first time, back home you never said anything like this”

“maybe because back home I just followed like some lost puppy all the time, I have never had friends of my own and then you left me!” with tears running down your face you looked at him, it broke his soul to see you like this, yet he did not say a word “I was lonely for two whole years Jake, did you know that people only approached me to get close to you! when you left i was completely alone,I had no one”

“y/n… why didn't you tell me?” he reached to you to grab your arm but you flinched at his touch “you never asked did you?” he just stood silent, for what felt like five whole minutes Jake said nothing, he felt like the worst person ever, he was supposed to take care of you, you were his little sister, he had been selfish all those years, it was true, whenever you started talking to someone he scared them away, from his perspective he was protecting you, it had gone to the point were you just stopped trying to make new friends. What bothered him so much was that he thought that you were cutting him out of your world. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but no words left from his lip when he opened his mouth.

you just scoffed “I have somewhere to be” saying that you just left, you were still crying as you walked to the café where you would meet heeseung.

You did not notice that someone had heard the argument you had from afar. Heesegung did not do it on purpose, he was a respectful boy, but to be fair you two had been yelling at each other in the middle of the only way to get to the café, he waited until jake left too, he did not wanted to seem like he was eavesdropping.

When he was close to te café he saw you through the window, you were still crying, he felt like he should do something to comfort you, but he was surprised, as you saw him enter the café your tears stopped, it was as if nothing had happened, you greeted him with your sweet smile, he couldn't process what had just happened, one minute ago you were crying rivers but now you looked as fresh as a flower that had just bloomed. How is that even possible? he thought to himself. He abstained from saying anything because he did not want to make you uncomfortable.

“heeseung over here” he headed to the table. You two stared working on the project and finished it rather fast. “wow y/n! i didn’t think that we would finish this today” he was very surprised. “and look at the time!” he grabbed his phone “I still have an hour left before practice starts”

“Well, what can I say, we make a great team” he giggled at your response “would you like to go to the park?” his question took you by surprise, as you stare at him with you eyes wide open he said “I have some time to spare and I dont think its nice if we stay here, someone might want to use the-the table”

“you have a point” you said laughing at how nervous he sounded when he said that “let's go” you both grabbed your stuff and walked out of the café.

tag list: @ncityy04 @dumbwonpil @markleepooh @papiibuprofen @ghjasksdk @kac-chowsballs @youreverydayzebra @clanggyyy @niafics @witheeseung

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divinefireangel · 3 years

Note

Hey there!!! Can you please write a smut on SF9 finding out their partner reading smuts 🥺🌝 (I want to see how dirty they can go🌝) And if you don't want to write for all of them then maybe you can just do it for any member you're comfortable to write on. Literally, ANY MEMBER WOULD WORK. I really want to read something like this haha🤭

Also, I genuinely love your writings! I'm new to Tumblr but I'm literally binge reading your posts. Gosh you're talented as fuck😫💗✨

Lots of love, and thank youuuu💕

OMG YES YES YES YES

TMI: Not gonna lie, I was thinking about this when my mom came into my room to talk to me, and my recent story was literally right there just open and I was panicking. Although she doesn't know anything 💀. She's cute like that, my mom.

You are so sweet anon 🥺🥺. Go on make me cry with your lovely words 😭. I will try my best to write more and sorry this took so long 💞💖 LOVE YOU 💓

S/O reads Smuts 🤭

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader). Rough sex (YB). Thigh riding (IS). Dick riding (JY). Marking. Biting. Humping. Dining table sex (DW). Low key strength kink? Idk (RW). Biting using teeth (ZH). Exhibitionism. Terrace sex (TY). Slight voyeurism. Oral - reader receiving (HY). Somehow I end up writing the filthiest things for Hwi. Cockwarming to sex (CH). It's really difficult to think of 9 different things for 9 different people😤. Also some may be unprotected sex, don't do it unless you want kids. Lmk if I need to add more!

Word Count: HAH jokes 😂

All members under the cut!

Youngbin

Doesn't understand at first 💀

But he isn't scared to ask so he'll just ask you

The panic on your face makes him panic

Apologizes 🥺

Then you explain that it's no big deal and that it's just a story

But he saw his name 💀💀💀

So he's curious and so he does research aka Googles it

Has a mixed reaction, doesn't know what to think

On one hand, he's flattered...?

Like, oh sweet, you are reading a story about him probably railing you to death

On the other hand, why are you reading it?

Did he not satisfy you enough? Should he do more? He wants to

So he will pick a random one, read it and be like, Okay. This is how it's gonna play tonight

So determined 🥺

Picks you up for your date and stuff

Timeskip to the bedroom by a steamed dumpling Dawon

So touchy and observant

Tries his best to remember what was in the story

Forgets but that's okay tho cause now he knows what you want

More Dom than usual

More vocal than usual

His grip on your skin leaves so many bruises and literal fingerprint shaped marks

Bites your neck a lot

Doesn't hold back one bit

Secretly satisfies his wishes too

Teases you for being so ready

Teases you for every reaction

Pulls your hair

Overstimulates you

Until you're tired and can't take it anymore

He could go for a round more

So he does

It's also like, he's lowkey angry at himself cause you were reading smut which made him think, maybe you thought he was too vanilla

But after you've both cooled down you ask him what happened and why he was so rough, not that you had a problem

Expresses his concerns and you tell him that you read those only cause you wanted to know what the fandom thinks of him and the way they think he likes to have sex

Blushy babyyyy

So cute 🥺

Inseong

Bro

Do I even need to 😂

He's probably written a few 💀

He seems like he's into roleplay 👀

So when he does find a tab open on your phone about literal PORN, in words

He doesn't think much of it tbh

But is curious

He'll tease you like you are both high schoolers

Holds you phone up high so you can't reach it

Satisfied when you whine and pout

Tucks your phone in his back pocket and grabs your face

" I think it's hot "

Peck's your lips and slaps your butt leaving you wide eyed

You need a minute to process what just happened lol

Running after him you pull him down on the couch, sitting on hids lap

Bite you lip and grab his face pls

Now he's wide eyed 😂

Kiss his neck and talk to him sexily

" Do you really like that I read smut? "

You look so innocent he would cum right there

Poor man is dumbfolded

So much that he doesn't even realize you were grinding down on his thigh the whole while

Grabbing your hips he nudges your hips to continue their movement

Loves having you so close

Especially after discovering your secret

Suck him off after and he'll do any and everything for you 😉

Jaeyoon

Oo this one is fun

He won't confront you immediately

He'll just think about it a lot

" How are they so cute when they read such things for fun? "

Stares at you from across the room

Smirks at your cute smiles

Timeskip this time by Baek Huru

Surprises you by kissing your neck

Humps your butt

Pecks you neck

Rolls your nipples in his fingers

Moans in your ear, deeply and hoarsely

Pulls away dragging you to the bed

Sits near the headboard

Beckons you to come closer and naked 👀

Forces your dick in you, slowly tho, don't worry

Doesn't give you a lot of time to react

But, all this seems familiar

Then you realize that he's trying to recreate the imagine you were reading before

The whole idea made you hot

Istg you've never finished so soon

He tells you that you don't need to read those stories when you have the real deal right there

Sanghyuk

Smug bastard

He's happy that you're thinking and reading about him even when he isn't with you

He will actually read the warnings and is mildly surprised lol

Wow you really into all that?

He has no shame so he will ask you directly

You stop doing what you're doing and just slowly turn towards him

He's scared lmao

Then explains himself and says sorry

Tbh, you're more shocked that he isn't angry

Blinking you slowly make him sit on the dining table chair

Pacing you start to think of and explanation now

Is there any explanation for reading smut? Idk 😂

Honestly, he asked you so that you could actually do what the warnings said in real life

Gets up, takes your hand pulling you close and lifts you, making you sit on the dining table

Removes his shirt before kissing you intensely

Tells you that he wants to fuck you on the table like in the smut

Nodding you let him take over

Makes you cum twice easily

It's more romantic than rough

Passionate, very passionate

Kisses you a lot

Hands on you all over you

Pulls you closer and closer by your thighs

Lays you down and fucks you till your back is no where on the table

Sweet reassuring smooches when you're done

Tells you to talk to him about such ideas rather than just reading them

Seokwoo

He is shocked™

Listen okay

He's tall

He's scared that he'll hurt you if he does what he wants without thinking

Reads multiple smuts 💀

Only the ones you've liked so far tho

Fuckin uses your account so yeah obviously

Now he'll be ready to talk to you about it

So shy omg

Stutters words out cause he's so flustered

You need to read his mind, literally

Once, somehow you are finally clear about what he was talking about

You'd just laugh at his cuteness

Boy is confused ??

Pushing him down on the bed you climb on top of him

Yes climb

Needy but still shy and shocked

Wastes no time in getting naked

Allows you to do whatever you want to him

No, really

Let's you take charge that is only until you tease him

Flips you and thrusts into you so hard the bed is shaking and you feel like it might break

Strong grips on your thighs and hips and belly and arms

Definitely sore for a few many days 💀

Juho

I'm not sure tbh

Either he won't care at all like

" Oh yeah this is just their thing "

Or he'd be so into it like hed wonder why you were reading it, was it for ideas?

He already has those so you don't need them from someone else

He won't ask you about it tho

But you will bring up an idea that was in one of them

And he's down

Or up, whichever you want

Asks you what you want more times than usual

But it doesn't make sense cause you're literally going crazy with the way his cock feels inside you and he asks you what you want?

Starts moving before you answer

Asks you again and again till all you can say out loud is " More "

He's fine with that answer

Hands above your head

Teeth scraping your the front of your throat drawing so many sounds from you

He's driving his dick in you so fast that you're moving away from him

Praises you with his deep ass voice

Gives you his Vampire stare™

That's all you need to cum undone

Keeps it a secret, won't ask you unless you bring up your little extracurricular activity 😌

Yoo Taeyang

SHY BABYYYYY

So pink when he realizes what you're reading lol

But he's so mesmerised that he goes on reading it 😂

You catch him looking at your phone, no big deal

But he's looking at it as though he saw a ghost

He's turned on but at the same time he's appalled

Do people see him like that? Do you want him to be that?

He's gonna need a lot of time to process the information

When you reassure him that he doesn't need to change anything at all, he's more calm then

But on a fine ass blue moon, his fine ass is gonna decide that he's gonna try something new

So there you are, on the terrace talking to someone on the phone. After ending the call he'll come and hug you from behind

It's all aww so cute till you feel his dick press into your butt

Forces your head back to rest on hius shoulder slowly but hotly

Unbuttons your jeans and pulls them down in one swift motion and his hands are all over you

Somehow the idea of having sex in the open night sky is so exciting

Stops just before you reach your high so that he can fuck you

You're leaning on the terrace wall

Face pressed slightly on it as your butt sticks out for him

Giving him permission to do anything to you

The orgasm hits you so fast but it's so fulfilling 🤤

And your pants are being pulled up even faster 💀

Maybe you should leave smut laying around

Youngkyun

You've found the saucuest lil smut about your boyfriend

He's sitting at the table, on his laptop composing and writing songs while you are here on the bed, blanket over your legs

Now see, you aren't really one to get off of smut but this particular one was so realistic

The description

The reaction

The dialogues

Reading it made you body move on instinct

Lower lip getting stck in your teeth

Hand travelling down to your privates

Your hips thrusting forward into your hand and fingers

Your breathy moans, that you tried your best to stick to, were louyd enough for him to hear

At first he thought you were doing a breathing practice or something

That is until he recognized the pattern

Lifting his blank phone up, he moved it to look at you through it

Boy is so shocked

It's like his own private porn show

Placing it back on the table gently, he moves the blanket slowly, getting under it

Licking his lips, he tucks his tongue out, licking the area that your fingers just slid over

Gasping at the sudden feeling you drop your phone and move your blanket off

You inevitably moan at the sinful sight below you

Your lovely boyfriend, looking up at you through his lashes, tongue coated with his saliva and your leaking juices

Holding your wrist, he nudges you to continue what you were doing, with his tongue never leaving you

Gripping your thighs, he bites your inner thigh as you work yourself closer to your high

After you cum, he'll lick off all your juices

Then he'll be all sweet asking you what you were reading

Round 2? 😉

Chanhee

He'll find it funny 💀

Why do people write these things

Why do people read these things

What is the use?

He is partly curious lol

When you tell him it stimulates the necessary regions, boy is shook

Then he's like nah

So you make him read one

He can't even make it halfway through lol

The foreplay itself made him hard enough to want you and to want to be in you

Grabs the phone and sits next to you

" I'm hard "

You look at him like boy what

Then he tell you that he now understood why people read them and that he's happy that people read them too help themselves

And you're like okay and what's the point

Pulls you on his lap

Whines at the feeling of to your butt on his arousal

Makes you stand now lol

Pulls his pants to his thighs and even yours

Places himself in you so that now when you sit on his lap again, not only is your back to his chest

Also his dick is in you

Somehow finishes the rest of the fic and just thrusts up into you

Cause you feel so heavently around him

Goes on and on and on till you're bouncing on his lap

Cums in you and just stays there till you finish your work

Still has mixed feeling now tho

Cause if reads them he wants you to be there near him and he wants to read more cause these fics are very addicting

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