#and i would not make someone else compromise for me bc i don't think i would be compromising for them and that just isn't right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairyhaos · 10 months

Text

how seventeen sit on their s/o's lap for the first time

requested by anon: "hi!!! a while back i remember you did how seventeen would react if you sat in their lap, would you be okay if you wrote it flipped? like the reader pulling them onto their lap or asking them to, etc ^_^"

notes: counterpart to this post right here ^^

masterlist

seungcheol

as someone who's normally your resident cushion, he'd probably be a bit confused when you say that you want him to sit on your lap. gets shy, saying he's probably gonna be rlly heavy for you, so he compromises and puts his head in your lap instead. almost falls asleep as you run your hands through his hair, makes drowsy whiny noises whenever you pause and is just vv soft

jeonghan

he asked if he could sit in your lap first. he asks so casually, so straight-faced, so you end up saying yes and he grins that tiny, satisfied grin before curling up in your lap like a little puppy, head rested in the crook of your neck. he's so warm and comfortable, and seungcheol laughs at him for being a sap but jeonghan just tells him to shut up. still with his head on your shoulder.

joshua

gets all shy and giggly omg. he sits sideways in your lap, legs dangling over your thighs, head on your shoulder, and he's so flustered that he's hiding his face into your shirt. lowkey likes it a lot bc he gets to play with the fingers of one of your hands while the other is wrapped around his waist, securing him in your lap

junhui

mans is practically LEAPING into your lap when you offer PLS. collapses onto you and wraps his arms around your neck instantly, wriggling in your lap all happy and pleased and is almost purring with contentment i swear. doesn't let you try and pull him off at all, he's glued to your lap for at least several more hours now

hoshi

screeches like some sort of pterodactyl and makes you almost regret asking. pretends that he's going to jump on you before eventually just settling gently in your arms. clings to your front like a koala, and since he's facing behind you he has to crane his neck to join the conversation but there's no way he's moving from his position, not at all

wonwoo

leans against your chest, casual as anything, while you're reading a book on the couch. you tilt the book so he can see what you're reading and he hums in thanks before adjusting himself better against you. he's a comforting, silent weight, and with his head against your collarbone he's at the perfect height for you to drop kisses onto the top of hi hair

woozi

doesn't let you pull him into your lap. ever. it's not happening. but when he's lying down on the sofa, if you come up to him and lift his head up before sitting down again, his head now in your lap, he's not going to complain. likes it the most when you trace the curves of his face with a light finger, sighing in relaxation w the tiniest smile on his lips

minghao

scrunches up all super super small in your lap, his lanky long limbs all folded up until he's basically a ball in your arms. likes it the most when you have your arms securely wrapped around him and keeping him in your embrace, bc it just feels so protective and safe.

mingyu

despite this guy's puppy energy i don't think i can ever see him sitting in his s/o's lap bc i think he'd just prefer being their place of comfort over anything else. that being said, probably flops into your lap to beg for kisses before propping his head on your shoulder and generally being a nuisance till you give in

dokyeom

another person who gets all giggly! he's all "hehe you want me to sit in your lap 🥰" and is going to just be a melty mess in your arms the entire time. basically goes all soft while sitting in your lap, cannot be moved at all. he's just a blob of adoring goo and you're not going to be able to get rid of him

seungkwan

frets that he's going to be a burden for you. is uncomfortable for five whole minutes before suddenly he just completely forgets about it and it's like you have a hyper puppy sitting in your lap as he yaps at chan and wriggles around indignantly whenever mingyu says something weird

vernon

sits in your lap while you cradle his head with your arm and coo down at him and tell him how pretty and soft and lovely he looks. he pretends to be all weirded out by it, and yeah it's a little cringy, but there's something so soothing about being in your arms like this after a long day

chan

it's an unspoken agreement between you two. when he's exhausted, mentally or physically, all he has to do is look at you and you're opening your arms and letting him fall into you, hands automatically coming up to pull him into your lap, one hand in his hair and the other on the back of his neck, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into his skin, helping him feel home again.

request guidelines

reactions tags: @jeonginssa @hanranghae17 @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @nakedgrapes @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @iheartyujin @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @cinnamoroxie @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @butiluvu @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff

470 notes · View notes

oneforthemunny · 29 days

Note

ok but most to least likely to cheat? please? i love angst!

i really don't think any of them actually would. i think they're just not gross like that, and they're all lover boy coded to their core. it's webbed in all eddie dna, even the worst of them.

i can tell you why each of them wouldn't??? a fair compromise?

janitor!eddie- self explanatory. i mean this and i know it's gonna sound insane and fake and silly, but i really don't think he could find another person attractive once he met you. it's just not in his dna, no one else exists type thing. he loves you for so many reasons, and he's gonna fuck that up?? yeah, right lol.

mafia!eddie- genuinely is annoyed by most people's presence. he's busy babes, and he doesn't trust very easily. he's never been a big relationship guy, not even casual really. he's just been incredibly tunnel visioned with his own shit, that it just not a necessity. then he gets hooked once he does. really, wouldn't want to bc he doesn't trust anyone but also bc he's found the best.

older!eddie- truly is too old. too old and tired to be fucking around and playing games like that. even if he wanted to, that's embarrassing to him. being old and a fuckboy? he did that when he was in his twenties. now, he wants to settle down. wants something real.

modern!eddie- he's too pussy whipped for that. genuinely. he might think someone's pretty or nice. i think the thing with him, is he's a little too trusting sometimes, so when he meets a girl and she's nice to him he's like "oh a friend :)" when... that's not the case. that would be the closest thing to him actually cheating is she asks him stuff about the relationship and he tells her, and it's obv the other being malicious about it. then once you pointed it out, it's shut down. truly, he's just a moron, but a lover boy at heart. very much so the type if a girl flirted to say "i have a girlfriend and she's crazy. please don't touch me, she'll scalp you."

hockey!eddie- surrounded by puck bunnies, and he giggles at them when they try because??? hello??? he's clearly got you??? silly girls, you're right there! sunshine boy, he would never. you make him so happy, i don't even think he would consider it a possibility. some of his teammates cheat (obv they're hockey boys and gross) and he's so disgusted by them. even more than that, he's shocked. he genuinely thinks so lowly of them, especially if they're married and have kids. the foulest thing to him.

rockstar!eddie- i mean... once you guys are in, he's all fucking in. that's the thing about him, is he does everything so intensely. he's also had everything, all kinds of kinds, seen the world, experienced all it has to offer. and when he thinks about you compared to it, it's just not even close. he chooses you every time. i mean, you have three wedding ceremonies because he's just that into it. that into showing the world how you're together. then once the babies start coming, forget about it. he's locked in long before then, but after that? call him anti-feminist or whatever, but no other woman, person, anything on earth is better than you. it's why in the sex dungeon, he gets you a high priestess costume, because truly that's how he sees you.

cowboy!eddie- barely sees anyone anyways bc he's kinda a recluse. not the most romantic either lol, especially pre-you. he's more of like a "you can come over here" and then he's ready for you to leave after he's done. he likes his space, so once he meets you and wants you in his space? alters his routine for you? accommodates you into his life? plus you're a little kinky freaky wild and exciting like him? he's in for life. i think he can be a little bit flirty still at the beginning, just years of being a bachelor, but he'd never fuck or kiss or really engage romantically with anyone else.

dom!eddie- the closest he'd come is a threesome maybe. MAYBE. but truly, i don't think he'd want them in any other way than for his own twisted kinky fantasies with you at the center of them- like the other person involved could genuinely be anyone, he doesn't have someone in mind. but really, truthfully? everyone else bores him. he would be so bored if he was with someone who did everything he said (even tho he mocks you and tells you that's what he wants). if he was with someone who blindly obeyed without a fight, he'd be bored after twenty minutes. plus, you're his best friend, genuinely, outside of the kinky part of your relationship, you're his person. when something happens, good or bad, you're the first person he wants to tell. the first person he wants to do things with, never gets tired of doing things with, genuine best friends.

boxer!eddie- similar to those before, that he's anti social but he's mean too. like he comes across as an asshole, and is one, and he was very lonely before he met you. someone who can keep up with him, give it as good as they take it. quick witted and a little cynical and snarky, but not utter doom and gloom. he really was convinced he'd die alone, george clooney and remain an unmarried bachelor for the rest of his life, hopping from whoever to whoever (if he didn't die in the ring first) then he met you. it took him so long to build that up, get the relationship to a relationship, that he's not cheating and fucking that up. couldn't fine someone he'd want to cheat with even if he did because you're one of a kind to him.

bouncer!eddie- ok, i know i said he would, and technically he does-ish, but it's really not super intentional. he's actually stupid and thought he was being cool. anyways. he wouldn't cheat once he actually communicated and there was confirmation he was in a relationship lol. i think he'd be down for threesomes, but that's it. not genuine cheating bc he doesn't actually feel anything towards the other person other than in the moment, he's horny. especially if they're touching you, or your touching them, but that's the key right there. you have to be in it. plus, who else is gonna be freaky with him like you are? no one. and you're funny and sweet to him and exciting and like to listen to his music? in his eyes, it's a match made in heaven.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #rockstar!eddie munson #cowboy!eddie munson #mafia!eddie munson #older!dilf!eddie munson #modern!eddie munson #janitor!eddie munson #dom!eddie munson #hockey!eddie munson #bouncer!eddie munson #boxer!eddie munson

73 notes · View notes

weskerssunglasses · 2 years

Note

What would be some NSFW headcanons for the RE boys? Loved your dating headcanons!!

RE Boys NSFW Headcanons

Thank you! Glad y’all are enjoying 🥰 These are a bit short, my apologies! I also went with a female reader because that's what I'm most comfortable with for n*fw. I excluded Chris bc I'm just not into him in an n*fw sense and Jake because I couldn't think of much for him,, Also, if there's any other characters y'all are interested in lemme know! As long as they're not in my do not write for list located in my pinned post

Characters: Carlos, Leon, Wesker, Nikolai

Rating: N*FW

TWs/CWs: Female reader, BDSM/kink mention for pretty much all of them

Carlos:

Switch, while he definitely gets off on having you pinned under him, he loves a dom s/o

Of course he would never admit that though, so you'd need to take the reigns one night before it comes out that he's fine with subbing

Aside from the dom/sub dynamic, choking, and dirty talk he's relatively vanilla so if there's some more kinky things you want to try out, you'll have to initiate it and bring it to him

Constantly running his mouth during sex; if he's domming, he's telling you what to do and saying just about anything to get you weak and begging for him <3

Meanwhile, if he's subbing, he's running his mouth if you let him. For the most part he'll do what you say, so if you don't wanna listen to him whine for more, tell him to be quiet and he will

Please, please sit on his face and pull his hair

Likes giving oral more than receiving

He's a thigh man 😮‍💨 Likes leaving bite marks and hickeys all over your thighs if you'll let him

Pleasure dom to the point he'll overstimulate you

"Good girl Cariño. You can cum one more time for me, yeah?"

Leon:

Sub, he wants a powerbottom S/O

I mean, he's canonically into Ada so are we surprised? No

He can top, but it would be pretty vanilla so if you want anything ~spicy~ you're gonna need to take the reigns

Pretty bratty, we all know how his smart mouth, and it definitely carries over to the bedroom. However, he breaks pretty easy

Will moan if you smack him-

Cries like a bitch if you tease him 😩

Doesn't like a lot of bondage, but he doesn't mind getting his hands tied to the headboard. The power dynamic there has his head swimming

In public he keeps the cool attitude and acts like you're the submissive one, but the second y'all are home alone he'll do anything to get you to touch him

Still calls you "baby" tho 🫢

Might call you mommy if you ask

Really he's down to try anything once. The only things that are hard no's for him are anything that would require knives or guns because it would remind him of his work. He's also uneasy about blindfolds but he might like it if you do it right

"Baby, c'mon, please touch me. I'm gonna go insane if you don't, please..."

Wesker:

sdihugjklif

I'm fine not really i'm so down horrendous pls help

Has to be in control, no compromises. He's not at all interested in an S/O who won't submit to him in and out of the bedroom

If you're bratty, good luck. He's not going to bother with you, he can easily find someone else

However if you play by his rules...

Totally has a thing for choking you. He's acutely aware of his own strength and his knowledge of anatomy makes it so he can bring you just to the edge of passing out and then lets you go

Surprisingly vocal during sex? He likes calling you names 🥰

Also loves making you feel humiliated and stupid during sex

Really anything that establishes a clear power dynamic between the two of you he's into

I'm not sure if this is in line with canon, but I hc his canine teeth are a little closer fangs due to the virus in him. Because of this, he likes to leave bite marks on your neck, collar, and shoulders, and he's not afraid of drawing a little blood too

Gets annoyed if you're distracting him from his work because you're horny, but he'll compromise with either a) a little cockwarming until he's done with his work or b) you can suck him off under his desk 🙏

"Stop moving, are you really so stupid you can't even sit still? Sit there and let me finish my work and then maybe i'll give you what you want, greedy slut"

Nikolai:

😳

mean dom

Did someone say dacryphilia?

Of course it's within your boundaries, but he likes to make you hurt during sex

Probably the most intense one on this whole list

While he is going to be the one calling the shots, but he'll let you think you're getting your way on occasion before snapping. I mean c'mon, guy's been a mercenary for decades and you don't think he can get out of a simple wrist tie?

Convinced he just likes being mean 🥱

Conversely to the way Wesker gets annoyed of brats, Nikolai seeks them out on purpose so he can break them and he is damn good at it

While he's definitely a freak, he makes sure to keep it consensual. He's a greedy jackass, but he's not a monster

Speaking of Nikolai's greediness, that carries into his sex life. He's always down for a quick fuck, even if it means you pulling him into a secluded bathroom or alley

Super into facefucking, especially if you do your makeup beforehand so he can ruin it

Calls you Kroshka still, but in a demeaning, sarcastic way

"What's wrong, Kroshka? Did that hurt? Good. You're prettier when you're crying"

1K notes · View notes

corn-fanfiction · 6 months

Text

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (Pt. 4)

(Pt. 3)

Rated: M

TAGS: language/past abuse/stalking/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/sensuality/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a c*p

Mark can't sleep that night because of the one thought that turns over in head on repeat.

Who the fuck was at your apartment?

Compartmentalize.

1. Mark is Jigsaw

2. Mark is not hunting you

3. Jigsaw is not hunting you

4. Someone else is hunting you

5. The police think Jigsaw is hunting you

6. He'll likely have to continue watching you unless you put up a fight about it.

At the end of it all last night, you seemed to hate him

And for some reason, that's the part that bothers him the most. Did you somehow think he's the one stalking you? You have no reason to suspect him of anything.

Of course, he's not stupid. He saw the look in your eyes last night. You put up a nonchalant front, but you are terrified of something- someone. That's who has to be hunting you.

Mark feels a sort of tightening in his chest. Is it because he's somehow jealous? Like no one can commit such acts other than him?

Or, shock of all shocks, he's come to care about you in some small measure?

He has to admit, as he stares at his bedroom ceiling, that he's grown fond of you, in the ways he can. This, despite you intentionally antagonizing him.

His biggest gripe before last night was that his work as Jigsaw has been out on an indefinite hold, and now that hiatus will have to continue.

This puts Mark in two compromising positions:

Find who's stalking you.

Dispel any concerns that Jigsaw is hunting you.

Both are difficult but the latter will be impossible if he can't get away from you. Shit, maybe you should ask for a different officer.

The thought makes him feel strange. It haunts him until he steps into the precinct the next morning. With a heavy sigh and bags under his eyes, Mark stalks to his office with a cup of coffee in hand. But when he opens the door, he finds you standing inside, arms across your chest, staring out the window.

You turn at the sound and he clocks immediately that you didn't sleep, either. He hesitantly closes the door behind him and takes a seat at his desk.

“I'm gonna be honest. I didn't think I was gonna see you again after last night.”

You move your arms to wrap around yourself.

“Yeah. About that. I know that you only ever try to- that you only ever help me.”

You bite your lip and come to sit across the desk from him.

“I have a hard time opening up. Especially to men. Especially in positions of power.”

What a damn fool Mark feels like. He suddenly realizes how he recognizes you.

He sees the same strands building through you as he did Angie.

“So…what didn't you tell us? What didn't you tell me?”

“I wasn’t at the plant by random chance. And…I know who was at my apartment. “

“Not Jigsaw, was it?” It’s a statement, because of course he knows it’s not Jigsaw.

“No.”

“How do you know?”

“I couldn't tell the cops why I was really there that night. So I can't tell you.”

He’d laugh if he isn’t so genuinely curious what the truth of the situation is.

“You have to.”

“The fuck I do.”

Your abruptness forces the next words out of his mouth. “Don't force me to do something neither of us want. You tell me, and I'll decide if it's a secret worth keeping.”

You squint at him with scrutiny. “Why would you do that?”

“Personal interests. Why were you at the plant that night?”

He watches your eyes narrow at some middle-distance point.

“My ex-boyfriend. Cliche, I know. He was horrible in all the ways you could imagine him being. I think that, if he hadn't been arrested, I never woulda left him.” You take a shaky breath.

“What'd he go to prison for?”

“Assault, battery, theft, drug charges, you name it. And yet, before two weeks ago I never stepped foot in this building. He was released early on parole- good behavior if you can believe it. I never said anything. People like me don't often get justice and, no offense, the PD doesn't have the best reputation.”

Mark rolls a pen between his fingers and the desk.

“And? You went looking for him?”

“Yes.”

“To confront him?”

You take a breath. “I was gonna kill him. At least, that's why I went there. But once I was outside I just…couldn't do it. That's when I saw Jigsaw. Or, at least I think I did.”

Mark nods and mulls over your words. It makes sense so far, even if some of the moves are stupid. “Okay… I understand why you wouldn't tell the cops you were there to kill your boyfriend-”

“Ex-”

“But what if he's the Jigsaw killer? Ever think of that?”

That’s right. Get the target as far away as possible.

You shake your head too fast for his convenience. “No, he couldn't be.”

He can’t help the bite that comes with your words. “Why the hell not?”

“He's a bastard, and some days I do wish he were dead. The things he did…but he's not a killer. He's also not smart enough to pull something like that off.”

“What if he's muscle? Doing Jigsaw's dirty work?”

“He's not.”

“Then why the hell would he show up back in your life?”

“I think… When someone let slip that I was a witness, and what I saw and where…he probably figured out I was looking for him. It's stupid. But I'm still scared.”

“You said he's not a killer.”

The look in your eyes makes him sick. “There's things worse than death, Mark. Things I know he's not above doing. But he's not a meticulous serial killer. He just isn't.”

Mark takes a moment to think in silence, slowly turning his chair back and forth. You shift in your seat, antsy.

“Look, you don't have to believe me but that's the truth of it. The whole truth.”

Then, a thought strikes him.

“Well…what if you told the police you think he's the Jigsaw killer?”

You freeze. Your mouth falls open.

“What, lie again?”

He spreads his hands like it’s obvious. “There's a chance he'd end up in jail, probably get a life sentence. Then he can't hurt you or anyone else ever again.”

“I want him to answer for his crimes, not someone else's. And if he goes to jail, then the real Jigsaw killer would still be out there hurting people. And then he'd be let go anyway. Why would you even suggest something like that?”

A look of disgust comes across your face and he’s genuinely taken aback at your reaction. His next words are honest.

“I just want to help you. Protect you.”

“If Ted goes to prison and Jigsaw kills again because I lied, then I'm complicit in murder. You get that right?”

“So, what? We just keep doing this dance until…?”

“No. I know I lied and I’m sorry about that. You can tell the chief that you think I’m not in anymore danger-”

“He won’t believe me-”

“You can even tell them I lied. But…it’s not fair to you to be strung along because of something I said.”

He watches you. You…feel remorse? For protecting yourself?

The image of Angie mutilated flashes across his eyes and he squeezes them shut, shakes his head.

“I’m not going to do that. We’ll wait this out. You’ll stay safe. If Ted pulls something like this again, we’ll get him. That’ll confirm that he’s the one stalking you and then this whole thing can be put to bed.”

When he’s plotting, he doesn’t notice you watching him. If he had, he would’ve noticed the confusion and then the dawning realization on your face. He cares about you. He won’t tell your secrets. He’ll lie for you.

He looks at you and you nod your head.

“Y-yeah. Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Mark stands and you follow suit. He tries to gauge a reaction as he places hands on your shoulders. You don’t move, don’t tense. Then, carefully, he pulls you into a hug.

You sigh into him and the sound tightens his chest. Maybe he sees too much of Angie in you. Maybe he's glad to have someone else to protect. Or maybe…

You must be compelled by some strange force because when he pulls away, you've got your hands on his lapels, then one on his cheek.

And before you can get any further, Mark pulls your hand down, his palm dwarfing yours, and he sighs.

“It would be… problematic to take advantage of you.”

He's a serial killer. A sadist. Why should he care?

You bite your lip. “And how would you be doing that?”

“I'm in a position of power.”

And yet he doesn't move.

“Protecting me. Following me. Let's face it. You talk big shit but if I say jump, you don't even ask how high. You just do it.”

A growl reverberates from deep in his throat. He's uncontested. Always in control.

But here…he doesn't move.

You put your hands on him again. Your fingers curl under his lapels again and this time you use the grip to pull him down to you as you kiss him. You don't get too heated with it. Just to test the waters.

He returns the kiss, though. You feel good. Your lips seem to fit perfectly with his and, to his surprise, he doesn't mind you taking over.

At least, not first.

You back him up to the desk and with the impact he's forced to sit. He feels a hand snake down to palm at his hardening crotch and when he gasps, you take the opportunity to slip a tongue in his mouth.

“How many times have you fantasized about this?” You ask against his panting breaths.

“About this? Not yet. But me bending you over my desk and fucking you from behind? Plenty.”

“Wouldn't kill you to give up some control now and then,” you whisper, undoing his belt.

“It would, actually.”

He watches through lust-hazed eyes as you sink to your knees between his legs.

Christ, it's too good to be true.

He uses his hold on your hair to gently guide you away from his crotch.

“As much as I love this view- and make no mistake, I do love it. I think we should save it for later. This carpet’ll ruin your knees.”

He helps you up and pecks you softly on the lips.

“Let me take you out to dinner.”

You smooth down the front of his jacket where you rustled it.

“Such a gentleman.”

“Better than taking you straight home.”

“Not here?”

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and leans in to whisper.

“Because when you cum, I want it to be as loud as possible.”

He relishes in the way you shudder from his words. But you compose yourself quickly enough to catch him before he pulls away.

“I was thinking the same thing about you.”

And you bite his ear and it takes everything in himself to not take you right here and now.

“You gonna get home alright?” He asks, his eyes softening.

“Yeah, I'll make it.”

“Nah, I'll drive you home. Gotta run an errand anyway.”

“Shit. You gonna become one of those possessive guys that never lets me out of your sight?”

“Don't tempt me.”

You gather yourself and he follows you out the door of his office, but not until he gives your ass one final squeeze.

#mark hoffman #saw fanfic #mark hoffman x reader #angst #fanfiction

64 notes · View notes

polyamzeal · 5 months

Note

My wife and I very recently (in the last month) started trying out being poly and we've been dating separately. It's been good. She's been dating someone for a couple weeks or so and I've been talking to someone I really like for a week. Yesterday she said she wants to take a 2 week pause from dating/talking to people bc she wants all of my attention due to some stressful things happening in our life.

I didn't react well and thought it wasn't fair to ask me to pause my budding relationship. She would be pausing her relationship too but we're very different in how we communicate and date.

Anyway, what's your take on this? Was I wrong to be upset and not want to pause?

I feel my answer might be a little controversial so take with a grain of salt. I think a pretty common response from the non-monogamous community (at least part of it) would be to take her side and demonize you for not immediately respecting her pause.

I think it is pretty valid for you to feel hurt by it. I am sure your response wasn't the best. But I feel like when a couple is openning up at first that there is this expectation that if anything goes wrong that they can just close back up like nothing has ever happened. And that is very hurtful and disrepectful to anyone else involved with them. Stuff like that is why a lot of polyamous people don't want to and even advise others against dating newbies. While the instant revert button sounds nice in theory, it is often not practical or realistic at all.

Let's come back to the current situation. I think the more ideal version of how it should have played out is your wife tells you that she has been really stressed out by whatever so she would really like some extra time for the next 2 weeks which probably means seeing other partners less. Let's say for this example that you have been seeing this newer partner an average of 3 times a week. So you tell your wife that you can cancel 2 of those weekly times the next 2 weeks but you and this new partner just paid to sign up for a weekly class/event together on a certain night so it is important that you keep that commitment. Your wife understands that is important but is still concerned that she might still just be extra needy these next weeks so she asks if on one these new nights together you can both commit to some kind of ideal date or event that you have both been talking about going to together for a while. You agree and say you really look forward to that. Then you go and talk to your newer partner and explain the situration to them. They are probably a bit sad about it but they get it and want you to take care of your wife. But maybe they make some extra plans with you for 3 weeks.

I know sometimes the word "negotiations" has a negative connotation in the community. It doesn't sound very romantic often, it is very business and transactionally orientated. But honestly when 2 people wanted different things it is useful. And then when more than 2 people want different things it become quite vital. Also keep in mind that your wife wants attention so the easiest solution might seem like taking away your attention from other partners because that eases jealousy and insecurities. But maybe you also have a weekly night out with buddies or something so you could just cancel that instead and spend that time with her and maybe that is actually all she needs. It wasn't the first solution thought up because other partners seem more threatening but maybe that isn't the actual focus and there are better ways to re-allocate your time and attention towards her.

So let her know your concerns and hurts but also stay calm and explore all possible options to hopefully come to a fair compromise.

#polyamzeal answers #anon ask #polyamory #polyam #nonmonogamy

44 notes · View notes

rowan-e-ravenwood · 3 months

Note

gotham characters as scented candles 👀👀👀?

OOGUHUGHG YOU HAVE MADE ME HAPPY TODAY, prepare yourself for category 5 autism event

eeeeeee OKAY. this will just be some of my general favourite characters, and we'll go in no particular order. and i think all of these would work as perfumes as well, bc when i start selling candles, i want to do perfume oils too, for all the scents i can get skin-safe ingredients for, so my design sensibilities are getting more wearable by the day. I LOVE FRAGRANCES

read-more provided because this is going to get long

Oswald; i think my already-planned combination will definitely work for him - blackberry, tobacco, caramel, wine, and a hint of rose, with some leather for extra depth. and i think for the Gotham version in particular, i'd add a bit of sandalwood, to make it a bit more like fancy perfume without compromising the sweetness.

Victor Zsasz needs something kind of dark and mysterious, but also strikes me as the type to use a very basic manly-smelling soap. so we'll compromise with - juniper, cedar, lemon, and black pepper. simple and sharp.

Ivy is another one where my existing scent blend for her will work with just a couple small adjustments - garden soil, oakmoss and ginseng, with a bit of tomato leaf and some white floral notes, maybe jasmine? and for this version, add in a little bit of clove and geranium.

Edward will have a scent VERY different from the one i made based on my own version... he strikes me as the type to wear a nice, sensible, light cologne. for this, let's say - amber, sage, tonka, a bit of musk, and just a hint of lavender.

Kristen is such a lovely character, I think she needs to be on this list too. she gets a mild blend - vanilla, old paper, bergamot, and lily. a sweet scent for a sweetheart. maybe some sort of bakery note as well, she strikes me as the type to enjoy scones or sugar cookies.

Harvey, Harvey. what else could a scent based on a weathered, moody detective be other than - whisky, smoke, leather, black pepper, and tobacco. a classic combination.

Lee, my beloved, my beloved!!! i honestly don't see her as the type to wear a lot of perfume, so this one is almost entirely conceptual, as opposed to most of the others which are a blend of vibes and what they might actually smell like... i'll go with - vanilla, orange blossom, hinoki wood, and lavender. a very soft, comforting blend.

Barbara is definitely a perfumey party scent - champagne, peach, lily, musk, rose, pomegranate, and amber, with a twist of bitter almond. fun, bubbly, and girly! her warning shots are aimed at the chest.

Scarecrow, finally, has to be smoke, old wood, ginseng, hay, soil, and cardamom.

OKAY these are just some of my faves, so if you think there's someone i should have added to this, SEND THEM IN AND I WILL DESIGN THEM TOO!!!!! and any other characters too, i am foaming at the mouth

#gotham 2014

19 notes · View notes

vntako · 4 months

Text

vn in a bottle: her tears were my light

ah i've found something very nice

decided to read some short vns to figure out how to write one and i thought this first one i went for appropriately explicitly defined starts, middles, and endings as part of it's narrative. along with the whole time travel shebang (you play as time) i found this was a bit too appropriate for what i was deciding to write but thought hey this is the universe nudging me gently into finishing the thing.

the story starts with time all alone, and finding space. i love the whole love at first sight schtick, oh and there's an implication of fated lovers thing ("it's like i've met you before" and all that jazz)

space is very cute

i find it difficult to talk about this game without spoiling it bc it's really short and there's not much to say about the exposition apart from space being super cute (the whole thing is around ~30 mins for me, at least less than an hour)

well, to be a bit less vague, i like the story's themes of loneliness. relationships are a complex thing, and memories aren't so reliable sometimes. and people do ultimately change. we misunderstand, we discuss, we compromise. i like that the story reminds us to do our best to try not to leave anyone in our lives lonely.

oh the the fluff between the characters is great, i like a lot

OH forgot to mention the music, it's super good. it fits over the emotional parts so well, especially the true ending song geez. also there are vocal tracks in the extras using eleanor forte and they're really good i need them on like, spotify to put in a playlist (one of them is there, it wasn't my fav but this is pretty nice)

go play this game it's free on itch over here you can play it in your browser no downloads just a bit of loading time

her tears were my light by NomnomNami (itch.io)

spoilers beyond this point

if it gets you to play it you should know you get to kiss the girls

so you have to save space from being killed by this other girl nil, and she has the power to stop you from rewinding so you gotta start at the start every time you try to save space

the whole "doing different things but always leading to the same result" (insanity) plot line is very appealing to me, and this vn has that. space is killed every time you try to reset. you reset anyway. wowza. i love that.

eventually, we find out nil and space are the same, which is implied by their similar appearances and parallels and stuff. i like that, that's cool, so at that point the goal for you is to reconcile the two of em despite them being polar opposites of each other (space is the girlfailure and nil is the girlboss)

it genuinely hurt me resetting out of the nil ending btw, i didn't get a screenshot but jeezums (nil is best girl sorry)

a few resets in you get to have this moment with space

it's great

i don't like that this kiss decides you abandon nil, though. well, you come around eventually.

you get the true beginning by talking things out with nil, making up for what you've done (even if you don't remember), and deciding not to abandon either of them. that's great, i like that a lot. talking is good.

nil is super cute

to talk a bit more, i like how nil gets so desperate to the point that time misunderstands her intentions. i think, that like happens a fair bit in real life. heck if someone forgot about me to go and have fun with someone else i would uh, die. time hears her out eventually and they come to a compromise and it all works out for the three of them. they both forgive each other. and space doesn't die (yay)

the true beginning is basically a poly ending and that makes this vn a 10/10

#her tears were my light #visual novel #vn in a bottle #nomnomnami

17 notes · View notes

inchidentally · 6 months

Text

@watehry asked for me to a carlando zodiac analysis like my landoscar one <3 (reminder I am not Lando levels of expert at astrology so this is me taking from a bunch of sources)

this one got kind of weird for me though bc the astrology is crazy black and white simple and gave maybe a little too much insight for comfort?? anyway proceed if you still want but also skip past if the parasocial stuff is too weird (it rly kind of was for me in places)

Scorpio and Virgo are a slam dunk as a match in friendship. simple as. Scorpio is ambitious with highly changeable super-charged moods and pretty damn needy. Virgo is all about "optimization" of themselves but extremely forgiving towards other and so self-reliant that it's easy for others to rely on them (sometimes more than they should).

this worked out perfectly for them bc Lando has had so many different needs throughout his career: an extremely young rookie needing a strong leader, a struggling teammate who needed someone to provide all the fun and reassurance, then no longer a teammate who needs a friendship that fits around his crazy schedule and existing friends, and a competitor who would honestly be a lil devastated if Carlos didn't still try and look out for him on the track. Carlos has been able to cater to all of those different things without ever losing himself. he finds Lando fascinating and fun no matter what.

honestly with Scorpio being a Fire sign and Virgo being an Earth sign there doesn't need to be much digging beyond that. their equal passions balance out beautifully and has strong enduring power.

Scorpio's birthstone is Topaz and gemstone is Citrine. Virgo's are Blue Sapphire and Topaz respectively.

a lot of the usual Virgo traits don't uhhh rly apply to Carlos as a beautiful cis man born of extraordinary privilege who has a rarefied hyper masculine sport as his job (he is never 'in his own head' and never over-intellectualizes lmao) he wants? he gets.

Carlos is a solid extrovert with a seemingly undrainable social battery which also counteracts more stereotypical Virgo qualities. but he is also an extremely hard worker who shows intense focus and mastery over whatever he pursues. very very Virgo.

he's also endlessly curious which makes him a great people person as well as a student of his sport and nothing is more attractive to him than someone who is fully open and vulnerable. he would have absolutely no idea what to do with an Oscar for example. they'd both be very happy and respectful in each other's company but only if someone else provides a common topic. otherwise it would be radio silence.

but little rookie Lando Norris who has been starved of the superstar attention he had in his junior career while he toddled around after Fernando? he and Carlos fit together like chicken and breading.

"Virgo wants order while Scorpio wants power" says a whole lot about how compatible they are. they want the same things but in completely different ways. it's why Carlos can factor in helping Lando get a podium and Lando has no problem admitting that Carlos helped him get there.

pitfalls of their relationship are down to the fact that they are so complimentary yet both are strong-willed. Virgo thinks far more logically and doesn't want to compromise by factoring in Scorpio's ever-shifting ambitions and emotions. it's honestly a very good thing that they've chosen friendship/bromance over anything else. they can keep that sweet aspect of romance but without having to suffer the restrictions and complications of a romantic relationship.

and um it might also explain why Carlos was the one to push Lando into finally having a girlfriend. from what I vaguely know Carlos himself had a longtermish gf ? for his McLaren years ?? and he'll have found it easier to deal with Lando's neediness with a gf for Lando to focus on.

not to get too parasocial about real life stuff here but we can all kind of agree that Max F's girlfriends have to accept that his friendship with Lando comes first. or at least equal to them. that's because once Leos find someone happy under their control and protection it's an absolute lock for life. Scorpio Lando wants attention and reassurance, Leo Max wants to be the leader and the rock. Scorpio needs to be in their feelings at will and Leo loves living in the moment. they sort of already found their person in each other oops. but since cis straight people relationships already center around ferda culture it works just fine.

by contrast, Carlos as a Virgo would have his own strict ideas of what his relationships should look like and I'm gonna take a wild guess that his family have inscribed ideals of wives and babies and being a provider into his DNA. when Carlos gets married it's going to have to be Lando who works around the schedule and makes good friends with Carlos' wife. fortunately he seems to be able to do that just fine with Max's partners so I don't see any issue there. (this is what I mean when I said this got very weirdly intuitive about real people)

as long as the Scorpio/Virgo friendship is free and easy for each party to come and go as they need to, they'll literally be bonded as family til they die. I can't read Lando's actual feelings well enough bc he uses so much deflective sarcasm but Carlos and his family absolutely adopted him as one of their own. Lando might take a little bit more of Carlos' generosity than he gives back but that's just their way. I'd say Max F is the bff who will always be there and Carlos is the bff that Lando can meet after months apart and it'll be as if it was just yesterday.

as Lando said they're much better off not being on the same team because they were juuuust on the cusp of the teammate rivalry not being fun anymore. I miss the challenges together but we'll always get carlando content anyway and won't have to see their relationship erode, fail and then heal but never be quite the same again (sorry but like w Daniel). it's also why the landoscar astrology reinforced everything we feel about Oscar being tailor made for Lando as a teammate.

ship/fic-centric stuff

let's get the rough stuff out of the way first: long term romance between Scorpio and Virgo is… tricky. especially both of them being men. I'll go ahead and say that they're much better off having a steamy hot affair for a while but then letting it settle into platonic but extremely deep friendship. you could easily have Lando's main love interest having to accept that Carlos has the same role w Lando that Lando does w Max F.

that being said! the sex is fire. Virgo Carlos would be a confirmed masc top (literally wants to do "power play") bc a feeling of control is so fundamental for him. Scorpio Lando would be raw arousal and want someone he could fully trust. he'd be over the moon to do anything and get as kinky as Virgo wanted.

Carlos would want to shower Lando with gifts and big expressions of love and adoration. while Lando would eat all of that up he wouldn't see it as the same as spending quality time together and sharing the same bed etc. definitely would need to be a chapter dedicated to communicating of needs etc.

Carlos would break very quickly in a secret relationship. it would sap him of everything he wants to bring and receive in a relationship. Lando wouldn't last much longer because his partner denying him romantic love in public would eat away at him. it would either end them or be a catalyst for deciding to be open and damn the consequences.

carlando angst is a whole other level because of how much they both want to remain bonded together. but there's also plenty of juicy fodder: miscommunication (Carlos' fault) jealousy (Lando's) possessiveness (Lando's) a need to be in charge (Carlos) lying for the other's protection (Carlos) wanting more freedom (Lando) caving to societal/familial pressure (Carlos) cheating born of passion or dissatisfaction (Lando) silent treatment (Lando) dismissal of feelings (Carlos) angry words that they wish they could unsay (both)

or the most complicated of all which would be Carlos VERY likely assigning Lando the "woman" role and being unable to have a romantic relationship not based on heterosexuality. don't worry he'd gay sex it up bc sex is His Thing but there'd be specific no-go things for him in bed. this is because of the whole rules obsession and occasional lack of emotional connection problems. this could go really sweet and involve negotiation and self-exploration or it could just be super kinky or it could be really angsty and lead to Carlos almost losing Lando entirely. just know that it'll need solid work shown to bring Carlos out of mainstream gender norms if he even does. he will resist efforts made to rattle the world he's built for himself. if it's dark fic that features social homophobia/internalized homophobia then it could be left as is rather than trying to fix it (as in, they're fighting for their lives or live in constant peril so their relationship doesn't get the attention it needs)

the power balance will always be in favor of Carlos so you'll need to take very good care of Lando and stay in his head most of the time for him not to lose himself completely. think of how Lando always mirrors the vibes of the men he is with at the moment and that a lot of carlando is Lando following Carlos like a puppy.

Carlos will never back down and won't have the capability to deal with fights but he will never EVER reject Lando. if he needs to walk away from a fight he'll state the fact first and do it as a way to clear his head. but he'll always come back. literally Lando could have walked away from him and married someone else but it would just take Carlos seeing his number calling for him to drop everything and be there for Lando like nothing had happened.

Carlos may need to hold all the cards but life without Lando is impossible for him. they'll either be intensely loyal friends in a multiship fic or on a steady track to Carlos putting a ring worth the gross national product of a small country on Lando's finger.

#carlando #these are so fun #mine #f1 astrology

22 notes · View notes

eyesontheskyline · 6 days

Note

me ripping out obviously hotchniss moments from jemily stans’s cold dead hands: MINE

I saw a post where someone said Emily was staring at JJ at Haley’s funeral??😭 Hello she was looking at her mans 🤨

This was inspired by the season 7 jet scene bc I just saw someone saw it’s a jemily moment😀 hello she and hotch were literally about to kiss

Ha oh god.

I honestly hate that jet scene as a Hotchniss moment AND as a Jemily moment. I can see it for both, because if you take what she's saying at face value, he's asking 'how did you get by?' and her answer is having contact with JJ. And of course there's those super warm smiles Hotch and Emily share.

But it doesn't make any sense for them to keep in touch that way - it's reckless and stupid, and I have a hard time believing either of them would've compromised something so high stakes. It makes me like them less as people and as a ship to think they did that, so I just. . . don't. And I also think there needs to be an actual answer to how she got by in Paris, or (preferably) some kind of admission that she kind of didn't - it was hard, and lonely, and she missed her friends, and everything wasn't okay then and isn't okay now. I think it was a bit of lazy writing, to make us feel like being smuggled away to Paris while still physically recovering from near-fatal injuries to hide all alone for months from the terrorist who nearly killed her was not a trauma, so it's fine that the show doesn't deal with it. So I kind of ignore the actual content of the scene - it doesn't make sense to me, and I think it's tonally weird considering the subject matter.

I think everyone is looking at Hotch during Haley's funeral, because how could you not be? It's devastating, and he's devastated, and they all care about him so much. I struggle with the 'truther' vibes of some of the Jemily section of the fandom a little bit, but I did used to write some Jemily back in the day, and I can kind of see it early on. But to me it's kind of the same vibe* as when people try to prove that Hotch and Emily were literally secretly in a relationship during S4-5 and here are the breadcrumbs the show dropped to prove it. . . Like, it's fine to write around what's in the show, to see the little moments and build on them, but the show is not trying to drop breadcrumbs for us to pick up on to plant the idea that they're in a relationship off screen - if they wanted the relationship to be canon, they would write it.

I think shipping is at its best when everyone just admits what we're doing is making our dolls kiss the way we want - it doesn't need to be more canon or more right than anyone else's ship, it just needs to be the one we personally enjoy. You can ship the same character in more than one ship, you can ship two characters who never even met. . . literally whatever you find enjoyable. And what's even better about it than smushing dolls together is there are infinite dolls - my Emily can be kissing Hotch and someone else's can be kissing JJ and someone else's can be starting a new life under the sea and it's literally fine.

I think what I kind of struggle with is when people watch the show looking for only their ship. Like, it's valid to watch the show however you watch it, but those are the posts I personally find grating. So like, Emily and JJ giving each other the eyes at Haley's funeral - I think that undermines the love and respect and friendship they all feel for Hotch. I've been at a bunch of funerals, and I wasn't like. . . checking out my love interest. I was thinking about the dead person and the people who loved them the most. And the moment when Emily saves Will at the bank - making that about Jemily takes so much away from both Emily and Will as characters, for me. Idk. I just like the complexity of the characters, and for me personally that's what makes shipping fun, so any time I have to ignore the complexity of the characters to do the shipping, I'm out.

(* except with an unfortunate side of 'this is morally superior because Emily was going to be a lesbian before they decided she wasn't')

#ask me #it's okay we can share the moments #hey cxg friends #bring me discourse

5 notes · View notes

swordmaid · 11 months

Note

jb + 7, 15, 30, 34

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

i do think jaime's the type to say it in passing like if brienne were to ever crack a joke and jaime would cackle and LAUGH he'd def go like ohhh i do love you while wiping away a stray tear. but i don't think they'll be the type to say it constantly though, only in serious and/or intimate situations. they both know they love each other ofc, but i see them being the type to only say it in situations where it is just the two of them, no one else. like just imagine jaime whispering it to brienne's ear and her face is kind of turned to him and their figures are tucked to each other HRK!!!!!!!!! like ill combust right now god

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

FUNNY that you bring up songs because i actually have a playlist for them called the lovers [:. you should have a listen i think it's pretty nice hihihihi. also unironincally and not even in jest, shrek soundtrack gives big jb energy like they got bangers in there

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

i think they're both acts of service with the way that they both want to protect the people that they care about (brienne with renly, jaime with tyrion and cersei). which--if you put throw two acts of service bitches at each other you get something like in the bear pit where they're both arguing who's going to be protecting who. not to mention brienne wanting to finish her quest not only because she promised catelyn but also for jaime's honor. and also i guess you can consider jaime's love language to be gift giving since he gave her a whole bunch of stuff to prep her for her affc povs but honestly i'd consider that as acts of service LOL.

but tbh the both of them wanting to protect the people they care about makes such GOOD conflict because it's like they're both willing to sacrifice themselves for the other but then the other would HATE that like how dare you throw your life away for ME when i should be the one doing that for YOU. and it's such an interesting place for both of them to be in because they've never had someone be THAT person for them before, because they've always been THAT person. and now they're in the receiving end!!! and they're both like HMM i don't know if i like that. like i can't ever see jaime being okay with brienne wanting to hang herself for HIM because first of all why would you hang yourself for me im literally the kingslayer second of all how dare you throw yourself away like that. like i love that whole conflict of brienne's self martyr nature not sitting right with him, because why should see sacrifice herself to the people who don't even give her half the respect that she deserves?? and brienne not understanding why jaime is so bothered by that, but also being bothered at his insistence that he doesn't have honor and he's IS the kingslayer that's all he's ever going to be and she's like well no you're not and i literally can't stay in the room if there's jaime haters bc they're so wrong about you. like idk to me they're SO similar!! but because of how similar their natures are they have conflicts over it!! and then they learn how to compromise... something something batb being about transformation of self from being influenced by the other.

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

jaime will have PLENTY, like it would be such a surprise if they don't even have any inside jokes. they already have the 'as if you could' line going on i want them to make more i need brienne to start cracking jokes with jaime you have no idea how much i crave that im starved for it. also, i def think they'll be the type to have conversations through eye contact alone. like jb standing at the opposite end of the room listening to someone's speech and jaime will just look at her with amusement in his eyes and a smirk that brienne knows he has a joke in his head already he's clowning at this person and she KNOWS he's clowning at them she already knows what he's going to say but she doesn't approve! she gives him a frown instead. and jaime will call that HIS frown, btw. that's the frown that brienne gives him when he makes a particularly funny quip that she insists is not funny at all and he's so wrong to think that what's wrong with you honestly except she's fighting not to smile

ship ask game

#they make me sooooo normal. ugh..!!!!!!!#also re: love languages i think they're also both the same where they both want to receive words of affirmation

40 notes · View notes

gotyouanyway · 8 months

Note

genuine question here, is it not a good skill to learn to explain symptoms outside of diagnostic language? i'm sometimes unable to do certain house chores or tasks if i'm having an awful brain week (i'm on the autism spectrum and my sensory issues are the first thing to get bad when everything else is going bad). i could tell my coworker "hey i'm on the autism spectrum and the sound of the shop vac makes me overstimulated to the point that it's painful and could cause a panic attack" or i could say "hey, would you mind vacuuming today? the sound of the vacuum is really painful for me. i'll wipe down countertops." i resist using diagnostic language in general bc i don't think it's anyone else's business what neurodivergencies i have, and i don't think people should have to out their diagnoses in order to be taken seriously.

i understand completely that the OP uses blaming and somewhat language about their symptoms, and that only creates shame. but something we talk about about wrt accessibility is the fact that some people's symptoms are incompatible with other people's symptoms. someone having a meltdown might be incompatible with my sensory issues around sudden or persistent loud noises. is it not okay to acknowledge that without self-shaming?

it is not someone's fault if they are having an episode or meltdown and they should not self-shame for that, or apologize as if it's something wrong that they did that they should work to change. but i think acknowledging the way that meltdown might impact others is also part of living in a community. isn't this the whole point of redirecting behavior? is it ableist to compromise at "my bedroom is my safe space to have a meltdown, but i understand doing it in the living room makes the living room impossible for you to work in"?

again these are genuine questions because i never want someone to feel shame for any symptoms they experience, especially ones they can't control. but OP's example was about their RSD causing them to hurt their friend and blame them for something they didn't do. is there not a middle ground here? sometimes symptoms are things we cannot control and shouldn't be shamed for, and also things that can hurt others, and i don't think i should need to give someone my diagnostic history to prove i need that accommodation.

to begin with, yes i agree that it's a vital skill to learn to discuss symptoms without using diagnostic language. i'm not going to get into the issue of psych diagnosis and diagnostic language in general but yeah, it's important to be able to get away from it for the reasons you mentioned. there's no reason you should have to disclose diagnoses in order to be accommodated/understood.

i think op of the screenshotted post was using the diagnostic language as a strawman: the person making a "bad apology" says the name of their symptom (which we're supposed to believe is the wrong thing to do), while the person making a "good apology" doesn't mention any symptoms but describes them instead. but as you demonstrated with your vacuum example, it's perfectly possible to say the exact same things with and without diagnostic language. so really the "good apology" could've said "i have rsd" as well and still been a good apology for the sake of op's argument.

all that^ is to say, diagnostic language itself is not what i took issue with in the screenshotted post.

my issue with the screenshotted post (and the point being made by the person who screenshotted it) is less to do with specific language and more to do with the attitude of people who want to "depathologize" everything SO much to the point where symptoms of mental illness/neurodivergence become basically a personality trait that is wholly your responsibility to keep under control, and something you must apologize for when it has any negative effect on other people.

i think the point being made in that post, or at least the point i'm making right now, is that sometimes people's symptoms suck for the people around them. it's unfortunate, but that's just life, and sometimes it's nobody's fault and nobody has to take such deep personal responsibility for it that they feel genuine shame.

think of it this way: if i have a meltdown, it's out of EVERYBODY'S control, not just mine. if i could prevent it, i would. if my friend could prevent it, they would. and it sucks for everyone involved, we're ALL having a bad time. so beyond a perfunctory "i'm sorry that sucked so bad", why should i be apologizing and beating myself up and promising to do better next time when i know i can't?

now of course there's middle ground - there's rarely a firm line between "in control" and "out of control" especially when it comes to emotional outbursts, and yes people have conflicting needs. nobody is saying it's ableist to acknowledge this, or to expect people to try their best. what IS ableist is how the burden of "compromise" is so much more often placed on the person experiencing the symptoms to stop being such a problem for everyone around them. even in your living room example, the person having a meltdown is expected to do everything they can to not disrupt people but you make no mention of the person who's being disrupted having to, like, just cope with it, because sometimes shit happens. i'm not saying the person with symptoms has no responsibility or should NEVER have to apologize if they hurt someone. i'm just saying sometimes there's no winners in situations like these and that compromise and understanding need to come from both sides

#sorry this got so long i hope i addressed all your points #asks

11 notes · View notes

9800sblog · 9 months

Note

Hiii! I saw someone answered this about a group but I would like to ask this about ATEEZ. Has any of their future spouses seen them live in concerts before? -🐚

let's check!

[ tarot is just interpretation of what we know subconsciously, i don't claim any of my readings to be the absolute truth ]

seonghwa

ace of pentacles, 6 of wands, 2 of wands

they've seen him, not ateez, he used to be in a band, I keep getting the image of him with braces.

the ace of pentacles is like a new business, an idea that has yet to come to fruition; 6 of wands makes me think of a smaller crowd, like friends and acquaintances; 2 of wands is looking at potential.

hongjoong

8 of pentacles reversed, the empress reversed, the fool

probably not physically, but they have seen it online at least.

8 of pentacles reversed would mean something not working out, maybe from lack of money or opportunity; the empress reversed and the fool bring me a sense of superficiality and fun, the empress reversed could mean the extra comfort of watching it at home but missing on opportunities because of not trying a lot and the fool being them feeling called or pulled to him.

yunho

the sun reversed, high priestess, 3 of pentacles reversed

definitely no, they do feel called towards him but it hasn't manifested physically yet

high priestess literally means mystery and what's subconscious; the sun reversed could mean something that hasn't seen the light of day yet; 3 of pentacles reversed is not seeing eye to eye, not compromising.

yeosang

5 of swords, 3 of wands reversed, page of pentacles

I don't think he's ever been to their country, they might have seen him online, or in an event with many other artists like kcon or something.

5 of swords representing unfairness; 3 of wands reversed it's literally an empty land and someone watching from afar; page of pentacles almost represents distraction in this context, being aloof to something.

san

2 of cups reversed, 6 of wands reversed, 2 of wands

they might have had the opportunity but did something else instead. they would've liked it a lot and would have better life if they did watch him, but they didn't, that's what I'm getting.

in the 2 of wands, the person is ignoring the wand in the back because they're focused on their work; 6 of wands reversed, I think means many people around them getting their attention so they miss the main point; 2 of cups reversed being that lack of connection and depth between them, the potential not met.

mingi

there are definitely physical complications for them, soon as I got to them, there are suddenly so many super loud noises when it has been quiet the whole day + the 10 of wands fell. my friend texted me "praying for mingi" bc I said earlier that I'd make him battle the rock.

death, 5 of cups, 10 of cups reversed, 5 of wands reversed

no, but they should, would bring them closer somehow. I do get the sense of hospital and I saw someone in a dark crowd a bit sick.

death is showing me the support and deep spiritual connection, plus the rebirth; 5 of cups is showing me the weight of this situation with the pose and the heavy coat; 10 of cups reversed is showing me the ideal hasn't been accomplished yet; 5 of wands reversed is also showing me physical support and sickness.

mingi isn't very direct when he communicates I try to summarize but he's super spiritual it's difficult to put into words.

wooyoung

3 of cups reversed, 6 of pentacles reversed, wheel of fortune

super no, not the right time. I don't think they have any idea who he is, I'm not sure if they even listen to kpop at all.

3 of cups reversed and 6 of pentacles reversed are telling me they're isolated, the information of ateez or wooyoung's existence hasn't got to them yet; wheel of fortune just means it's not the right time yet, their meeting is destined and it just hasn't worked out like that.

jongho

yes, but no other details. I even forgot to write down the cards.

#ateez #ateez tarot

13 notes · View notes

sphericalbee · 11 days

Text

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

#tw suicide #motivational kind of maybe i think??#i won't kill myself gdfhgggdsad dw i just think ab not having to deal w everything and it seems like such an easy way out #but i got more shit to do!!#ur not getting rid of me for 40 more years at the latest #vent #(??)#not rly #more like #a thought dump #tw anorexia #tw ed #tw eating disorder #just mentioned but still there #personal #thats not even a tag i use im just putting whatever #bye bye #there's a giant ass bug in my shower so i washed my hair in the sink

2 notes · View notes

downthepub · 9 months

Text

The problem with the ending of Good Omens 2 and people being so upset about it is like, you never believed in it, you never thought anything about heaven could be good, but Aziraphale did, has, and wants to. Agnostic / atheist people may find this more clear cut, but folks who grew up with strong religious beliefs have to at least get it on some level. Like it's more complicated than just "be with you bf bc you love him."

Let me put it in a secular context.

Imagine you, a citizen, "hate" your country because you're so disillusioned with the government and things it's done and / or is currently doing. But suddenly you have the opportunity to get a high up position in that government with the promise that you can make a difference and help people and maybe even change the system from the roots up.

Your own view of the government hasn't changed; you don't like where it's been, or where it's at, but you believe in the people who live under that authority, you love and want to help them, you want to make amends, fix things, change things......even if it costs you something, and you never wanted to be a government employee in the first place. It's a hard decision but it's not about putting yourself first, it's not about "hating" your country, it's about doing what's right.

Meanwhile the person you're dating not only disagrees with this choice but says fuck your country, we need to run away together halfway across the world, we don't need your country, you hate it too, don't you? Why didn't you say no?? And uhhhhh....it's more complicated than that. Your world doesn't work in "do whatever you want and never consider anyone else" ways. It works if you take responsibility and do good when you can.

And perhaps someday you will realize you couldn't make a difference, but right now, this is the moral choice you will regret if you don't make, and loving someone who wants to just run away from that is very complicated and painful.

Because they're not who you thought they were, and you're not who they thought you were, and this is something you can't compromise on. There's no "in-between" right now for this decision. He's an anarchist, you're a liberal, or whatever parties / political ties you want to associate with. He's ready to tear it all down or just walk away; you want to do whatever good you can with the tools at hand, and fix what's wrong, help people where they're at now.

You take your chance and go and do the good you can and try to change the world, or you walk away because someone else says you should - not because you actually think you should walk away.

It's going to break your heart no matter what, but it's not a question you can dodge. Take the chance and do what you believe is right, or go and be with the person you love, but know you made the choice you didn't think was right, and that they don't really understand what makes you tick.

Actually I was surprised and blindsided because I somehow also thought Crowley wanted to be on the side of fixing things, through whatever means possible, opportunities inside or outside of channels. The way he talked in S1 about God and good and evil and regrets and questions, didn't make me think he would be 100% opposed to a chance to go back, to do some things differently, to work to change things. He's clearly willing to march into heaven on a mission, in disguise etc.

And obviously Heaven is not equal to God in this universe where God is a mysterious and terrifying force with inexplicable motives that Heaven (at best) tries to interpret in muddled and toxic ways, while Hell simply goes against whatever they think Heaven or God might stand for. But Heaven does have a lot of power and *some* tenuous link to the divine, however messed up, and it's quite easy to see a disillusioned angel finding the chance to influence and work within this system painful and difficult, but necessary.

And yet my own religious related trauma gives me Crowley's same visceral "fuck no" reaction to the idea of going back and working inside the lines, working within the system, bowing my head in obedience to something I don't follow anymore, can't follow anymore.

To believe that the connection to the divine is owned or usurped by people and systems who have actively used it to hurt and oppress, to do bad things and make excuses for and cover up other bad things, all while claiming to be holy and perfect and above critique themselves. It can make one actually feel a bit sick to think about it too hard.

Once again, it's More Complicated Than That, more complicated than just going along and working in the system. Crowley seems to see nothing redeemable in the system, it's pure toxicity, something to escape, not try to fix, not even try to save or help the people caught up and hurt in it. Just get away before they get you again.

There's no simple compromise, no in-between here. They still love each other deeply. And can't fix this by simply one of them changing their minds. No quick fix. It's about what they actually believe and doing what they each think is right. A separation, a distance, a love from afar, and very much being disappointed in each other not being on the same page.

But they just aren't. They aren't on the same page. They can't be right now. It's honestly not even about who's right or wrong, because it's More Complicated Than That. They really are living the Free Will Version of their own lives, with all the responsibility and pain that comes with that. It's not always the happy, easy stuff where things get to stay the same.

They are making choices, and they are living with those choices. And, just like humans, they are saying OUCH on the inside, very loudly.

#good omens 2 #meta #spoilers #long post #it's rambling #personal #slkfjadlskfjadfsj

7 notes · View notes