#and i dont believe in heaven or reincarnation or the after life. but for him I'll make an exception. and i hope he's well wherever he is now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

#lbaf

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ilovelotsofthings · 3 years

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So quick things. (Long post?)

I am writing this at midnight and this is about a trope? that I forgot the name of. It popped in my brain because I was thinking of Passerine and my au (which I am on anon so you don't know about it)

The Trope is basically you don't meet or don't really know each other (like friends and beyond) but will in another life.

I was thinking about it because I realized that I really like that trope even if it makes me sad.

I will also bring up other fandoms. Like Harry Potter.

Also it will also talk about reincarnation, the many soulmate tropes, this trope, my view of irl reincarnation (Like that I believe in it and such)

Passerine showed it with Tubbo and Tommy (and others) which made me really sad but then if you think of DSMP as their next life or one of their many lives after that you think that it was worth it in some way. (I don't think that was phrased right? What I mean is it is sad that You Know who died but in the next life at least he has friends.) There is something about knowing like even if these were ocs the fact that Tubbo wishes they could be friends in the next life (i think that is what he said. It is at least close enough) because they didn't know each other in the next life makes this sad story have hope for another life and future where they meet.

Next my Au. This is a Au that is Crimeboys focused and is about each life and how they meet. It is a soulmate au but with no markings. No one knows that they have soulmates. All soulmates are the people or people you meet in every life. So Wilbur and Tommy in this Au will always meet by the Max age of 14 for Tommy. Wilbur can be whatever age but has to be older. Why I brought this up is in one life (which this is kinda based on a post Belovedgamers(?) made with Eternal duo) where they meet on the opposites of the war. So in that life they got fucked over. Wilbur dies and as my au rules Tommy dies within 3 years. That is depressing but in many other lives they meet and become friends, brothers, father and son, etc. They are to always be together in life because that is what the Universe wants. Doesn't mean it will always be happy but there is also the next life. BTW this doesn't mean don't enjoy this life. That is bleak. I am saying enjoy what this life brings and what the next one brings. Rolling back to Passerine is P!Tommy had no friends and died at 15 C!Tommy had friends and fought in war and died at 16 and got revived and he is 17. Both lives are depressing in some ways but both lives had joy or something good in them.

Next up soulmate tropes with me talking about how it works and maybe doesn't work with this trope. (It is just 2 paragraphs)

That soulmate au where the last words your Soulmate tells you doesnt work for me. The reason is because that seems to be that world so they cycle of never knowing who your soulmate is and are trapped in a cycle of never finding out till they die ruins the joy of the main trope I am talking about. It makes me just sad because of that universe saying fuck you… this is why I dont read hurt no comfort.

Timer, First words to each other, my soulmate au where you don't know your soulmate, and anything similar. These soulmates work in varying degrees because you never know when you will meet or how so if you meet in war you either flee together or kill each other or hope to live till the end.

Harry Potter (I said I would bring it up) has lots of reincarnation fanfics but they deal with fics that I have read but never thought about. That is being born in a different time. How I feel that it works with this trope is because say you were Harry Potter but now your soul is in a time where you can befriend (fanfics have it where they remember but I am talking about not remembering) your godfather in another life because the last one never gave a real chance. It makes me happy in those fanfics (especially if the person remembers even though this is about something else) because there is a chance to know someone you never had in another life. Also Regulus (Sirius' brother who died at 17? and 2? years before Harry was born) being reborn into Harry gave him in the same lifetime as people he knew to learn and see the world anew. He also learns more about his brother. Like while they lived together for 14? years did they ever really know each other idk but it gives them a chance again.

This is what I would say is a little of my thoughts before real world talk that may be extensional but idk but probably.

I see reincarnation as not needing to do anything to get it. You just live and die and then maybe wait to reincarnate or just never leave heaven. It basically is just live your life, die and be reborn. You may sometimes have your memories but not always. It is just the same soul (which this leads into nature vs nurture which I don't really want to get into so TL;DR it is both you may be exactly the same or different but it is till the same soul) which leads to in another life that person you never got to know well you may meet in another life and be friends. This doesn't mean every life is great. I mean I have a great life I think now but that doesnt mean I will in the next life.

However I am conderary and like to think Heaven exists (or something similar ) as I would just like to see family, pets, those who haven't seen in decades (like my childhood friend who I haven't seen in a decade)

Going back to reincarnation (with the trope this post is supposed to be about :/) it kinda gives me some of the same comfort which is seeing each other again.

The thing with the trope is it is angst (I don't really like angst without comfort) and while I like angst this trope I shouldn't like it because there is no comfort most of the time (all of the time?) It just gives hope to many, many things like friends you never knew you could have had or friends you missed. There is just hope there that while it ends sadly there is hope for a life where they do meet. With soulmate aus + this au there is always that person who you will meet every time and while it won't work out every time you have someone who will be there in every life no matter how long

So basically I love this trope because hope of a next life where anything can happen

(Should I do more of my fav tropes and use examples of media I like and how I see it in the real world if I can)

#crsau #< I metion my au #idk have a tag for this as I may not do more than 1 but for now I will use #thoughts? what thoughts just rambles

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houseki-no-suffering · 5 years

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What do you the changes would be if Houseki no kuni had a Christian theme rather than a Buddhist theme?

before we get into this, i’d like to use Aechmea as an example.

Every time I look at him I think “wth man, you want salvation? you want heaven? you want to be free?? then wth are you doing??? stop making the same mistakes over and over. Stop trying to control stuff, accept things as they are, love selflessly, find beauty in what you see, acknowledge your mistakes and make an effort to be a better person. Find God. Change.”

Ofc it’s never gonna happen, because HnK is not a Christian story. But if it were, then Aechmea’s problem would have an easy solution. He’s on the moon cause he sinned? Ask God for forgiveness. You wanna be free? Atone for your sins. Done, peace, everyone lived happily ever after.

Except this doesn’t make sense because, if HnK had a Christian theme, it’d make no sense for souls to be on the moon in the first place. It’d make no sense for humanity to go extinct and for the world to still go on. It’d make no sense for the Lustrous to exist.

This is to say: there is just no way HnK could have a Christian theme cause it would just not be HnK anymore. HnK is built around Buddhism and Japanese culture. It is literally wired in the way HnK is. It’s in the story, the narrative, the characters, the way they look and talk, in what they do and in what they seek (and how). Ultimately, HnK can be interpreted as Ichikawa’s own way to question a cultural and/or religious system of beliefs.

It is a deconstruction of typical Buddhist narratives and readers who are more familiar with Buddhism will catch on that quite easily (and break it to you way better than me).

Maybe that’s part of the appeal that HnK has for the western community: it’s just so different from anything else you can find. Even if you’re already familiar with manga or Japanese culture. It’s just something else, it’s not just a Buddhist tale: it’s a deconstruction. An extremely intimate, personal deconstruction too.

The questions HnK arises about existence, about time, redemption, wanting, truth… the questions that shape HnK’s narrative are just foreign to Christian stories, or treated in a completely different way.

Just like Buddhism, Christianity is huge and there are a lot of differences among faiths, but generally speaking Christian-themed stories tend to:

be centered around a clear-cut dichotomy between good and evil (which is usually the origin of the story’s conflict)

be shaped by concepts like love, true love, forgiveness, damnation, success, self-sacrifice, absolute truth, hope, family, temptation etc. The characters can accept or refuse these values, but there’s always an idea that absolute truth (= God) is/was real. Romance is also a big thing

feature Christian symbolism (crosses, pietas, women = motherly, sweet, caring vs sensual, evil etc.)

have a precise/definitive ending. It can be good or bad but there’s no concept of reincarnation in Christianity: you got one life, you got a specific amount of time so make the most of it cause it’s gonna end

feature difference and individuality as a good thing. This is actually smth i find interesting and that shows how different the various faiths can be. I believe this trait originated from Calvinism or the Protestant branch? Cause it’s a pretty big deal in countries like the US, while countries with a majority of Orthodox or Catholic Christians don’t put so much emphasis on individuality

This is just an oversimplified scheme ofc, there’s a lot more to these things so take this with a pinch of salt. Yet, you can already see how different this is from HnK. You could try to apply some of these elements to HnK and change the story, but you’d soon realize that you’d have to change literally everything to make it a Christian story.

The gems live forever? Doesn’t make sense, let’s make them mortal. Life is short though, how do they deal with that? With doom? With time? How about hubris? What about the dead gems? Did they go to heaven? Do the gems question heaven and hell? Do they question God? Do they live life as a gift or a curse?

What about the lunarians? Oh wait, you only live once in Christianity, so yeah, no Lunarians, gotta make up a new enemy. What did this enemy do? Do the gems struggle with forgiving? What about sameness? What about purpose and work? Sin? Temptation? Good vs evil? What about the imagery and the character design?

The questions just keep coming and the more you work around these elements, the more you’ll see that you’re just creating a completely, utterly different story.

And I have no idea how Japanese culture could fit into all of this. The only example of Japanese anime/manga full of Christian imagery I can think of is Evangelion. But even then the religious theme looks more like a decoration than an actual deconstruction of Christian narratives.

So it’s really hard to imagine how HnK’d have turned out with a Christian rather than Buddhist theme. It just wouldn’t be HnK anymore.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #meta #Anonymous

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cconcerned · 5 years

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Character Development Questions: Hard Mode:

Character:

Amai

Loading . . .

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Her brother, Trey. He is only 5 months older than her

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Good, her mother was always an supporting mother, always there for her.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Not as good as with her mother. Amai always had an difficult relationship with him, but they can talk to eachother, but dont have any intrests what so ever

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Yeah. The first time they went to their new country, that they are in now, her brother, Trey, had began to smelt. Being an icecream and all. It was quite frightning as she heard her brother yell from pain. Even tough he made itout alive and is happy, she is still traumatized

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

A pen, an notebook, gloves, phone, and some candy

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Most of the themes are about the cold, and her past country

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

As said before, the near death of her brother still haunts her dreams.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

She is too scared to even consider holding an gun

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

When she was younger, she mostly believed that the poeple she knew and loved, could be gone the next day without any trace. That lead to constant fear. She tried cheering herself up with thinking of what would happen after death, and it helped. Alot.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More, it makes her feel at home more

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Her near brothers death, and the discovery of Robin

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Shes nearly always calm, hard to choose one

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Not by blood, but by dripping of candles, water, slime, ect.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Faces, she is intrested in all the different type of body types and facial structures poeple could have around the world.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Material possesion, she never liked money all that much

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness, she just wants the best for all the poeple she knows

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

An half broken stick. its weird, i know, but it would make her feel even more protected. Ready to face the world

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Both. She is inspired by the ambition poeple can give and the wisdom poeple can get.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Envy, alot of envy.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

‘‘I’m happy they are more happy’‘

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Caused it. As said 10 times before, she and her family were the ‘cause’ of her brothers near death.

What does your character like in other people?

Confidence, logical, optimistic

What does your character dislike in other people?

Too much pride. Basically. She doesnt like poeple who always think ‘’Im WAAAYYY better than everyone else 24/7!’’

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Very quickly. She had grown a bond with nearly everyone she had met in her life. Also shes a bit clingy

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Pretty quickly. She wants to make sure not only her feelings, but also the ones of her friends are in well being.

How does your character behave around children?

Excited. She had played with childeren before back in her country, so it reminds her of home.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Crying. Crying. Crying. Apologizing 100 times

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Quick. She learned to have a quick defense so that ice bears, or other animals in her old country wouldnt hurt her.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

She dreamed of being an movie star. like the ones from the tv shows that were actually animated but she didnt know ssshhhh. Never became one cri

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Nudety

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Cold, snowing, fire place on, lights on, under blankets, hot chocolate winter nights

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Running in her clothes in the hot summer, or going on vacation to an relaly hot place.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

willing to improve, wants the best out of the best

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Keep trying. This idea fills you with Determination!

How does your character behave around people they like?

Pretty energretic and open. usually greeting them with immediatly jumping on their backs. Especially with her boyfriend Rusk.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Silent threatment

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Defending their honor

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

wants the best, so remove a problem/threat

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Her camp was attacked by an ice bear when she was younger, got bitten, and infected. Still has the scar but doesnt remember anything.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Nicely, she knows they just want the best just like her, so she has respect

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

She feels like she must earn it first, like an video game.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Not really

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Her old best friend, Cyclis

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Hard. If she is in something romantic, she gets really flustered and shy, hiding her head in her jacket

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Amai believes that poeple just chill with their lost ones for awhile in heaven, and then be reincarnated as someone new

Base not owned by me

#Oc #Challenge #Questions #original character #character

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tinamaetales · 6 years

Text

2017 K Drama Journey

It was that one night, while scrolling through my facebook feed that I came across this short clip from Doctors wherein Park Shin Hye is beating up the gangsters in the ER. I got curious so I decided to find a copy of it and try watching a K Drama. I thought, why not give it a try? It was during those times that I was recovering from my PUD and I just resigned from my job and I really want to watch a good tv series and K Dramas are really popular nowadays so I decided to give it a try and, I wasn’t disappointed. K Dramas, as cliché as it may sound, changed my life. Every show I’ve watched was a roller coaster ride of emotions. In addition, they taught me lessons I never expected in the first place.

I would just like to share with you a “summarized” version of my views about the kdramas I’ve watched in 2017 (cause ya know, I’ve already posted my individual reflections about them here)

Doctor Stranger

My rating: 7/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk, Park Hae Jin, Kang So Ra and Jin Se Yeon

This is an interesting drama to watch because it doesn’t only focuses on the romance aspect but also divulge into the topic of politics and medicine. The best part? The competition between Park Hoon and Han Jae Joon for it served as an avenue for their growth both as doctors and as a person. However, I felt like the romance part in here is a bit forced; I’m sorry but the main couple has zero chemistry.

My fave quote: “…the doctor’s gown you wear? That’s sufficient enough for people to put their lives in your hands. Let’s not disappoint them”

My fave OSTs:

Like Tomorrow Won’t Come by G/O

A Good Day Like This by Jeon Hye Won

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/158622149566/strangers

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/159863753466/who-is-the-real-stranger

Goblin

My rating: 10/10

Starring: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na and Yook SuengJae

The best K drama ever. It’s perfect. That’s all. This K drama will make you value life more and will show you that death isn’t something we should be afraid of – it’s a part of our journey on Earth, an end to a life once lived and it will only be regrettable if you didn’t live your life right. Anyway, this is a story about a Goblin who lives for more than 900 years and is searching for the Goblin’s Bride that will pull out the sword from his chest to end his immortality is surely something that would catch your attention. Let’s also add that he has an amnesiac Grim Reaper for a best friend (lol) and a spoiled brat ‘nephew’ who is so in love with his credit card. What will make you get hooked in this drama? It’s how every character are related to each other both in beautiful and painful ways; yes, even that gorgeous chicken store owner has a very important role. The part that broke my heart in this drama is the realization that the key to ending the Goblin’s immortality has become his reason to stay alive. It’s ironic how someone who has the ability to end you is also the only reason for you to keep going. Ang sakit bes. It was a perfect mix of romance, comedy and drama.

My fave quotes:

“Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you”

“If god really only gives one as many struggles as one can handle, he may have thought too highly of me”

“The ones left behind should live even harder. We might cry from time to time but we should smile a lot and cheer up. You are obligated to do that in return for the love you received”

“Every human dies at some point, that’s why life is even more beautiful………If today is my last day, this will be my final memory of the person I love so I’d better live hard and love”

“How could you tell me to remember only the happy memories but to forget you? That makes no sense because every moment I spent with you was a happy one even though each and every moment was also sad and difficult. So, did my dying to protect you become your happy ending?”

“I will come as the rainfall. I will come as the first snowfall. I will beg the divinity to do just that”

“Every moment I spent with you shined. Because the weather was good. Because the weather was bad. Because the weather was good enough”

My fave OSTs: (all of them actually, lol)

Beautiful by Crush

Stay With Me by Punch ft. Chanyeol (EXO)

I will go to you like the first snow by Ailee

Hush by Lassie Lindh

I miss you by Soyou

And I’m Here by Kim Kyung Hee

You are so beautiful by Eddy Kim

Heaven by Roy Kim

Round and Round by Heize

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/160115970831/souls

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/161922642721/i-dont-wanna-live-forever-goblin-post-part-2

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/175471572666/hes-always-listening-goblin-post-part-3

My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Lee Jong Suk and Han Hyo Joo

One of the most interesting plots in the K drama land; it is a story about the lead character of a famous comic book series who developed “free will” that scared his creator so much to the point that he wanted to kill off his main character. Kang Chul’s (the comic book’s main character) creator is afraid of how he seem to be directing his own story so his solution is to kill him however due to an amazing twist of fate, the creator’s daughter (which happens to be a doctor) gets sucked inside the comic book world every time that Kang Chul is in danger in order for her to save him. This k drama knows no chill by the way, it will keep you on the edge of your seat every episode. It’s intense and sometimes stressful to watch but you will love every moment of it anyway.

My fave quotes:

“But in last moment, he suddenly thought of one word: ‘Come-from-behind-victory’. Kang Chul decided to keep fighting until he found the true culprit – he wouldn’t be able to take back his own life. So he will find the culprit before he dies, no matter what.”

“The first purpose of the characters are to deliver the story. When the purpose is gone, the character disappears forever. On the contrary, when a character’s purpose becomes clear… then the character becomes one of the main characters by force”

My fave OST:

Where are u by Jung Joon-young

Please say something, even though it is a lie by Park Bo Ram

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/164668803281/hero

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/174726704651/kang-chuls-fight-is-my-fight-w-blog-post-part

Love in the moonlight

My rating: 9/10

Starring: Park Bo Gum, Kim Yoo Jung, Kwak Dong Yeon, Chae Soo Bin and Jinyoung (B1A4)

My first historical drama. It’s charming especially when you have Park Bo Gum as the Crown Prince and Kim Yoo Jung as the female lead, what more can you ask for? The romance side of this feels natural and would make you feel kilig everytime! You will love it to the moon and back. Moreover, the social issues it presented were still timely and relevant. It will make you realize that no matter how many years have passed and how different the government system has changed through the years, if those in position are motivated by their love of power instead of service to people then things would definitely won’t turn out well. This drama shows us that it is when the government listen to its people that it can be effective. The officials should not create higher gates and longer barriers between them and its people but instead open its doors and close the distance after all, without its people the government is nothing.

My fave quotes:

“I wish you would be a king with good eyes because if you’re too high up, you tend not to see people below you. I wish you have good ears – you must not listen only to those who yell before you… Please protect every single person for they’re all your people. Will you promise me to become a King like that?”

“Rather than a sun that shines alone, he’s a ruler who shines brightly when among his people, like the moonlight—I believe the king is that kind of person.”

“The highs and lows between me and my people, the distance between me and you—I hope that you will understand my wish to be one step closer.”

My fave OSTs:

Moonlight Drawn by Clouds by Gummy

Melting Heart by K. Will

My Person by Park Bo Gum

I think I’m done sleeping by Soyou ft. Yoo Seungwoo

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/165394639616/the-rebel-prince

Legend of the blue sea

My rating: 7/10

One of the most hyped K drama of 2016 and even though it fell short on its promising story line, I still get to enjoy watching this. It’s interesting to watch a love story between a mermaid and a human especially when it also included the theme of reincarnation. This drama also shows us the value of second chances – it is an opportunity for us to change the course of our fate but it will be our choice…it’s up to us if we want to be better.

Starring: Lee Min Ho, Jun Ji Hyun, Shin Won Ho, Lee Hee Joon and Shin Hye Sun

My fave quotes:

“If someone is reborn, might it be because they have an unrealized dream? That dream could be an unfulfilled love, or it could even be unsatisfied greed.”

“The fact that everything is repeating isn’t a curse, but an opportunity—to change the ending.”

“But when I make friends with someone, that’s it for me. Whether you backstab or not, that’s your choice. I’ll think about what I’ll do if you do backstab me. Until then, you’re my friend.”

“Rather than being unable to love my daughter because I can’t remember her, it’s better to live remembering her, even if it’s painful.”

My fave OSTs:

Love Story by Lyn

A World that is You by Yoon Mirae

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168356428401/when-history-repeats-itself

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

My rating: 8.5/10

If I could only describe this K Drama in one word, it would be charming. The plot is light yet relatable. Easy to watch yet filled with great life lessons too. It will actually remind us of our younger years – the silly crushes, the dreamers in us and the unforgettable friendships we gained. What I like the most about it is the simplicity of its plot yet it will touch your heart.

Starring: Lee Sung Kyung and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“No matter how high the mountain is, it will not be as grand as your dreams. This is nothing hard! We get back up no matter how harshly we’re trampled upon”

“I hope you will confront that matters (resentment towards your mother and your complicated emotions towards your uncle’s family) squarely. Those emotions such as gratitude, guilt or tiredness from pretending you don’t know the truth.. should burst out at least once. Only then you will be completely free from the trauma you are having”

“Everyone has a youth. A time that’s more beautiful because it’s awkward and clumsy, a time that shines brilliantly. A time when you’re not afraid of anything because you have nothing to lose, and a time when you’re excited because you can have anything, everything. That’s now, age 24, my youth. Although I’m still uneasy and nervous, I’m perfect without needing anything else.”

My fave OSTs:

You and I by Kim Jong Wan

Dreaming by Han Hee

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168888275251/swag

Cheese in the trap

My rating: 6/10

If you’re looking for a realistic yet harsh approach towards depicting our society in general, then this k drama is a must watch for you. It shows how the real world sucks. It has its charming side too though, especially the love triangle between Yoo Jung, Hong Seol and Baek In Ho and it will sometimes make you feel that both guys are deserving…actually erase that…all of them are deserving of love especially after all the struggles and challenges they’ve went through at such a young age. This drama started out strong but the ending felt a bit empty.

Starring: Park Hae Jin, Kim Go Eun, Lee Sung Kyung, Seo Kang Joon and Nam Joo Hyuk

My fave quotes:

“Once you start working, you’ll realize you’re no longer the center of the universe, you realize there’re many people who are better & scarier than you and you need to accept that you cannot control everything.”

“People who play victim will always end up like that, losing what they have as they attempt to gain what isn’t theirs”

“Why is it that people always want what belongs to other people? Then they delude themselves thinking other people’s things are theirs when in the end they lose what’s their own.”

“There are ups and downs in relationship but maintaining longevity is hard”

“No matter how rock bottom you are, you shouldn’t bring harm to people who care about you”

“Don’t put up walls and look down on people because among those people, there are some who sincerely wanted to be friends with you”

My fave OSTs:

My Time with you by Vanilla Acoustic

Einfuhlung by Tearliner

Just a little by Sweden Laundry

Maybe I like you by Cosmos Hippie

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/168925207681/trapped

Descendants of the Sun

My rating: 9.5/10

One of the best k dramas ever! I swear! It tells a great story of love, service and sacrifice. It is a great combination of romance, action, thrill, and philosophy. The best thing about this is how it executed the differing principles of the way doctors and soldiers save lives. It shows us how we can find ourselves through the service of others.

Starring: Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Kyo, and Kim Ji Won

My fave quotes:

“Soldiers always live with a shroud on. When they die in a nameless land for the sake of their country, the place of their death become their grave and their uniform become their shroud. This should be every soldier’s mindset every time they put down their uniform. Therefore, be honorable at every moment – there’s no reason to fall short”

“I’ve been given the privilege to be a doctor, I faithfully pledge my life to serve humanity. The health and life of my patient will always be my priority. I will faithfully carry out my duties regardless of the patient’s race, religion or nationality. I will not use my knowledge inhumanely even when I’m under threat. I hereby take this oath on my account and on behalf of my honour”

My fave OSTs:

Everytime by Chen of EXO ft. Punch

Always by Yoon Mirae

You are my Everything by Gummy

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/169657649021/sacrifices

Hwarang

My rating: 7.5/10

I once described this drama as oppa overload because it was really filled with handsome oppa! Anyway, this is a great drama to show how the youth, despite them being young, can become the nation’s future. It is when we guide the young people rightly that we can secure a good future. It also shows us how much we needed to be united for our country’s sake because we can do so much better if we work with each other instead of against each other. This is a story of growth and brotherhood. A must watch, for sure.

Starring: Go Ara, Park Seo Joon, Park Hyung Sik, Choi Min Ho (SHINee), Do Ji Han, Kim Tae Hyung (BTS), and Jo Yoon Woo

My fave quotes:

“It’s only those who possess a lot who fear. If you don’t have anything, you don’t fear anything.”

“Only when they (Hwarang) were able to think and live freely that they can dream of a future for Silla”

“Don’t be silenced by an order created by another. You are not a horse on a chess board. You are Hwarang who are freer than anyone else in this world. The fact that you are Hwarang, never forget that”

“Being young and weak is not a sin.”

My fave OSTs:

Even if I die by V and Jin from BTS

Our Tears by Park Seo Joon

I’ll be here by Park Hyung Sik

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/170972988531/change-starts-with-us

Doctors

My rating: 8.5/10

Starring: Park Shin Hye, Kim Rae Won, Lee Sung Kyung and Yoon Kyun Sang

This K drama will always have a special place in my heart because of how much I love and can relate with its heroine. The focus of this is the life of a great neurosurgeon Dr. Yoo Hye Jung – her ups and downs and how she manage to come out of all the challenges thrown at her stronger than ever. Her life story is really inspirational.

My fave quotes:

“The cells that make up a human are always in a state of instability. To live is to be unstable. In the end, the essence of life is change.”

“Unresolved pasts will always come back to find you whether it’s love or resentment”

“People say that forgiveness is not for others but for yourself. They shouldn’t say such things. Forgiveness isn’t as light as it sounds.”

“When doctors become guardians, they too are merely impotent humans.”

“A genuine meeting can change a person. The person I am with right now could change my life. That’s why a person can be both hope and despair”

“I had once dreamt of revenge — killing everyone and myself. But there is such a thing as karmic justice, and at the center of that is not me, but the world.”

My fave OSTs:

No Way by Park Yongin and Kwon Soonil of Urban Zakapa

It’s Love by Jung Yup

Sunflower by Younha

That’s the way it is by Se O

More of my reflection:

https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/post/173628552981/what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger

It was one heck of a roller coaster ride, right? I think it’s safe to say that my 2017 k drama journey was lit af! Now I’m looking forward for more!

TinaMae

#personal #kdrama #k drama #2017 #doctor stranger #goblin #w #kang chul #love in the moonlight #legend of the blue sea #cheese in the trap #weightlifting fairy #kim bok joo #hwarang #weightlifting fairy kim bok joo #descendants of the sun #dots #doctors #doctor crush

35 notes · View notes

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

Note

Okay...weird shit happejed to you throuout yojr life, but has anything happened on Halloween specifically (other than you selling your soul to a demon)

Alright, it’s time for the requested and promised Ouija Board Story™

Listen, before I start this I wanna put a REALLY STRONG trigger warning on it- I really, truly recommend you not read this if you’ve been affected by suicide or get very easily freaked out by thoughts of death and the afterlife. I am not fucking kidding around here, okay? Someone in my family killed themselves over the summer and I’ve been trying so hard to not think about this whole event, because it’s terrifying to imagine anyone I know in this situation. Really think about it before you keep reading, okay? While this is an interesting and cool story I’m posting for Halloween, I don’t wanna get anyone too freaked out. If you think this is gonna mess with you or sit with you, just keep scrolling.

This happened in 2015. My friend Zoe (@commando-rogers) decided to have some friends over for Halloween, because like, who doesn’t want plans on Halloween, right? Also there was Alexa (@starshiprangpr), Patricia (@trishaslats), Liz, and Ian (I don’t know if they have accounts if they do I’ll add them later). I’ve known these guys for years, so it was sure to be a fun night.

Now, like. I’m bored with life. I’m freshly 20 years old. It’s Halloween. I’m dressed like Mabel Pines. I’m ready to fucking party. And we did have, you know, regular, normal fun at first- ate junk food, joked around, stuff like that. Average hangout. But then, a few hours into the night…Zoe pulls out a fucking Ouija Board.

I’m immediately on the other side of the room, tbh. I’m very interested in paranormal stuff, and I was raised Catholic, and I’m also not a dumbass, so I know not to fuck around with Ouija Boards. You just don’t use them, ever! It’s never a good idea! Even if nothing talks to you through it, you’re still opening yourself up for something to happen. But I also knew this was five against one, so I didn’t stand much of a chance complaining. I conceded to watching whatever happens from a safe distance on the couch and not actually touching the board. Lord knows, I insisted, with my luck? Touching the board will get my ass possessed.

The girls seemed to somewhat agree with me on that- Ian was the only person who agreed to use the board with Zoe. Ian’s a very smart, logical guy, you know, like the token genius asshole friend that you love to death even if he gets a little condescending occasionally? Love the guy. But he was pretty sure it was all bs and nothing would happen, versus Zoe’s deep belief in the paranormal, so they made a bit of a weird pair working the board. I remember texting my friend Raychel about what was about to happen, and getting the response “YOU MOTHER FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE FIT ALL THE HORROR MOVIE ARCHTYPES GET YOUR BULLSHIT TOGETHER AND DONT DO THIS”. And I agreed with her, honestly, but I did actually have a strong curiosity to see if anything would happen. Zoe had told me all about her trying to use the board by herself before (bad!!! idea!!!)- she said she never got any words out of the board, but her camera or phone or whatever she was trying to film the session with would always malfunction or die unexpectedly. No one expected what happened though.

Now, before I really start, I wanna say- could this have all been an elaborate hoax by Ian or Zoe? Sure. Absolutely. Believe that if you want- but Zoe was so freaked out and even got all shook when we were going over details the other day, and Ian seemed really rocked, and honestly I can’t think of anything they’d get out of keeping up a ruse on it for two years now, especially when people they’re good friends with were literally crying during this mess, so…I really don’t think this was fake. Like, I want to believe it was fake. As I mentioned in the trigger warning, this has really stuck with me and been bugging me as of late, so if one of them suddenly fessed up that it was a prank? I would fucking jump for joy! But it doesn’t look like that’s the case (otherwise, they’re just, you know, dicks by this point). So, anyway, whether you believe it or not, just know that I am absolutely not lying about anything that happened in this story. I’m recounting everything truthfully.

Okay, so…Ouija Boards have rules, you know? You have to be polite, say hello and goodbye even if nothing speaks to you, you have to keep at least two fingers on the planchette and ‘charge’ the piece, I’m not going over all the guidelines right now. And also, when a living person is manipulating the planchette…Like, you can tell. You can feel it. Zoe and Ian charged the piece, we all said hello, and we waited in silence.

Zoe asked ‘Is there anybody here?’

Nothing happened for a long moment, but then…the planchette slowly started sliding towards ‘YES’.

Ian was trying to look like his eyes weren’t wide, and going ‘Zoe! Zoe are you moving it!’ but Zoe was already having a mild freak out, her voice higher then normal and repeating ‘Holy shit holy shit holy shit!’ (like I said…she’s a deep believer in the paranormal).

When it finally landed on yes, she took a deep breath and tried to seem a bit, I guess, politer. “Um, okay, hi, I’m Zoe? This is Ian and our other friends. What’s your name?”

…K…E…V…I…N.

Patricia made some joke about the name but got shushed.

“Are you…usually in my house?”

‘NO’.

“Are you…here for someone?”

‘YES’.

We’ve only been at this for a few minutes and there was already that feeling in the air- you know, the one that gets over described every time anyone recounts a paranormal experience? Just a heavy feeling in the air, a twisted feeling in your gut, the feeling that someone is right behind you. Tension was building even though nothing had really happened to warrant it yet.

“Who are you here for, Kevin?”

The planchette starts to slide towards the ‘I’. Cue to five girls yelling “IAN” in high pitched, worried (and some teasing) voices as the boy in question’s eyes are flying out of his head.

It spells out the rest of his name. Zoe asks, “Is there anything you want to say to Ian?”

…H…E…L…L…O.

Me, an asshole who needed to cut some tension before she got sick: “Hello from the other side~~~~~~”.

Pillows were thrown at me.

The board respelled ‘Hello’.

I will literally never forget the awkward forced smile on Ian’s face, or the raised eyebrows, or the way his confused voice cracked when he said, “…Hi, Kevin?”

…H…I.

“How do you know Ian?”

…F…R…I…E…N…D…S.

Ian looked at is, giving an insistent whisper of “I don’t know any dead Kevins!”

That had us all stumped for a few moments, before “Do you think maybe like, past lives?”

Zoe asked Kevin if that was right. The planchette flew to the ‘YES’.

“So Ian was your friend in his past life then? Who was he?”

…E…V…A…N.

“Evan! So how did Evan die?”

…C…A…R.

“Oh. Were you, like…with him?”

‘NO’.

“How did you die then?”

Nothing happened for a few minutes, the piece didn’t move an inch. They recharged it and Zoe tried again. “Was that a rude question? Do you not want to talk about that?”

‘YES’.

“I’m so sorry, we’re not trying to be rude.”

…F…I…N…E.

We started brainstorming for better questions (Zoe or Ian had to be the ones to formally ask, though).

“Where were you from?”

…O…H…I…O.

“And what year did Ian die?”

(I’m going to admit here that I can’t remember the exact year, it was definitely around the 1920′s or 30′s, though. We all thought it was a bit odd that the death year wasn’t exactly close to Ian’s birth year)

“What year did you die?”

He spelled out the same year.

“Oh? Um…how long after Evan did you die?”

A long pause, and then: …W…E…E…K.

“But you didn’t reincarnate like Ian?”

‘NO’.

“Why not?”

The board fell silent again. They recharged. “Sorry. Um…Why did you decide to find Ian in his current life?”

…B…E…S…T…F…R…I…E…N…D.

Before we could all start flat out cooing at that, it kept going, spelling out ‘…S…A…F…E.’

“Oh, so you’re his guardian angel?”

…C…L…O…S…E.

“Close?”

No response. “Okay…How did you know Ian was Evan?”

…H…I…S…E…Y…E…S.

(cue everyone going ‘awwwww’) “You have the same eyes when you reincarnate?”

‘YES’.

“So…what were you doing before Ian was born?”

It fell silent again.

“Kevin? We’re sorry?”

…F…I…N…E.

“What did you mean by ‘close’ to a guardian angel? Are you not an angel?”

‘NO’.

“So…what are you, then?”

…S…T…O…P.

“Okay, sorry. Um…Is anyone else here with you?”

…Y…E…S.

“Who’s here with you?”

…D…E…A…T…H.

DEATH.

WHEN I TELL YOU WE SCREAMED. No one was Goddamn prepared for an answer like that! We’re just a bunch of asshole teens! None of us actually wanna die! What the fuck!!!!

While we were all busy freaking out and trying to rationalize, Zoe managed to choke out a “Is…Death here for someone in this room?!”

‘NO’.

“Is Death going to effect someone in this room?”

‘NO’.

That got us to all calm down slightly, but….We were literally just told DEATH IS AMONG US. We were still freaking out, and were trying to figure out what Kevin meant by that. After a while though, something clicked.

“Kevin? Does Death just have to be with you in order for you to talk to us?”

‘YES’.

THIS.

THIS LITERAL GODDAMN GHOST GOT PISSED OFF AT US.

AND SAW THE OPPORTUNITY TO FUCKING TROLL A BUNCH OF SHITTY TEENS.

AND HE GODDAMN TOOK IT.

I HAVE NEVER RESPECTED A MAN MORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I STILL CANNOT GET OVER THIS. Eternal hats off to you, Kevin, oh my God.

We all slowly recovered from that scare, a little more wary about pissing Kevin off but also…more curious, because there was a lot to ask and a lot he seemed to want to hide.

“Um…so is Heaven and all that real?”

A very, very long pause. Zoe and Ian almost went to recharge and try a new question, but then it slowly slide over to ‘YES’.

The pause seemed to make it clear it wasn’t something he really wanted to go into. But, “So…what’s Heaven like?”

A long pause. …D…R…E…A…M.

“…And…is hell real?”

The planchette immediately flew around the board, spelling: …N…I…G…H…T…M…A…R…E.

None of us really knew what to say about that.

We asked a few more questions, but Kevin still didn’t want to talk about himself that much. He liked talking about Evan, though (After this night, we had a running joke for a little bit about ‘cant believe we’re shipping Ian with a ghost’. There were some ‘implications’ I remember we all picked up on) But he still avoided questions pertaining to him. Zoe had a very worried look on her face around this point. She had been very curious about Kevin’s unwillingness to talk about certain topics, and things were slowly piecing together in her mind. She tried once more to get answers. “Kevin, I’m really sorry for asking, but I just- Um, I’m sorry, but did you kill yourself?”

There was a bright flash in the room.

That made everyone jump and look around- we had caught it in the window, but we couldn’t see anyone outside or around the house. Zoe’s parents and brother were upstairs. We couldn’t find anything that would have caused it. It was just a flash, but we were completely alone and with the timing of the question…Well, everyone was unsettled about it.

We eventually settled back down and recharged the board. “Kevin?…Did you?”

Slowly, it slid towards the ‘YES’.

“…Because Evan died?”

‘YES’.

“And…that meant you couldn’t be reborn?”

‘YES’.

“So…what happened?”

It stayed still.

I had a very sick, sinking feeling in my stomach at this- I’d gone to Catholic school for 9 years, and I knew suicide is classified as a sin. In the more modern times the Church stopped being awful about it, always prayed for suicide victims and didn’t deny them burials anymore and always told the families the same spiel about being in God’s hands, but…It was still considered a mortal sin none the less. I told the group as much.

Zoe said in a small voice “Were you…in hell?”

A long pause. ‘YES’.

Fuck.

“Um…for how long?”

…F…O…R…E…V…E…R.

“That’s why you’re not a guardian angel then? Because you were in hell?”

…D…E…M…O…N.

“How did you…get out to find Ian?”

…L…I…L…I…T…H.

We’d all been on edge with the turn of the conversation, but that. Fuck. I nearly lost it at that. Zoe and the other’s asked who Lilith was, because she’s not common curriculum, but, well, short story answer- She was created before Eve, but she didn’t want to submit to Adam, so she was tortured to give birth to a dead child every day, but other accounts and stories of her do go on to say she became a lead torturer/essentially queen of hell. Fucking.

“Lilith let you out of hell?”

…Y…E…S.

“Why? Like what for?”

…I…D…O…N…O…T…K…N…O…W.

“You don’t….You have no idea why they let you out?”

‘NO’.

“So you found Ian and became his…Guardian demon? Is that a thing?”

…Y…E…S.

“Does everyone have one?”

…Y…E…S.

“Do I have an angel or a demon?”

…D…E…M…O…N.

Zoe, even though she’d been talking to a seemingly reasonable demon all night, looked a little worried about that. Back then we had a running joke in our friend group that Zoe was Satan, and well “Um, do I have a demon because of all the jokes I make?”

…Y…E…S.

“Um??? I’m sorry? Fuck.”

We were all a little #shook but trying not to laugh at the look on her face at that. She went on to check with Kevin that having a demon instead of an angel didn’t actually mean anything bad, she wasn’t in like, undead trouble or anything, the only difference is the demons are usually working off a debt or something versus the angels not…But when Zoe and I were going over this the other day, she did suddenly realize that she hasn’t made a single Satan joke since this night and she’d ‘feel weird if one was made now’. Make of that what you will.

He said me and the other girls all had Angels (Shoutout to you, Sarah! I’m still kicking at 22!).

Patricia, however, wanted some proof that ‘Helena’ existed and was there for her. Which is reasonable. She asked if her angel wanted to tell her anything. There was a brief pause before the planchette spelled out: …E…R…I…K…I…S…G…O…O…D.

We were y e l l i n g. Listen, I know that’s clearly not going to be convincing evidence to a bunch of random people reading this, but basically Erik had been dating her best friend at the time and she was just…Very worried about the relationship. Very worried. For many reasons.‘Erik is good’ is exactly the thing she needed to hear from a guardian angel. (And, spoiler alert from two years in the future: he IS good!) But like. She teared up hearing that. It was nice.

We tried to stray into lighter topics than the whole hell thing, because, again, fuck- I remember thinking to myself at some point ‘this poor guy is after-living the plot to a really great book’- but none of us wanted to upset him again and none of us wanted to get anymore upset ourselves. Liz had already had a panic attack by this point (the hell talk obviously got to her), and she was actively trying not to sob as she asked if she could speak to any passed on family members. We were told pretty much everyone gets reborn and there was no one else around except for Kevin and the other guardians (and good ole’ Death, of course).

Ian’s got a big birthmark on his face, right? It’s adorable and we often made a lot of jokes about it (fondly), so at some point, while trying to stay on lighter topics, someone asked ‘Did Ian have that birthmark in his past life?‘

…S…C…A…R.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about that theory that birthmarks have to do with how you died in a past life, but….shook. We all started trying to figure out if we had any meaningful birthmarks. Zoe got further freaked out because she has one on her wrist and one on her temple. What the fuck did she theoretically get up to in a past life?

That was the last really substantial thing he gave us, all the other questions tapered off so we could try to pretend we hadn’t learned we were talking to a demon who went to hell for no seemingly good reason and also no one would be able to talk to dead loved ones. After we finally came to a loss for questions, and people started having to leave- we just did the proper ‘goodbye’ and everything, followed all the rules, put the board away and split up. Liz was still drying her eyes when she left. Ian was mumbling to himself and swearing up and down he didn’t fake all that. Zoe was frantically researching the information we received and kept repeating that that was the craziest fucking thing that ever happened to her (and she actually did find some thread about guardian demons). We talked about it for a bit before I went home.

And, it’s like…Again, this could be nothing. But it doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels like a shifted view because…Even if it’s not real, it’s still an outlook on the afterlife that I had never considered before, and it’s…horrifying? This whole night I’ve just never been able to shake, I can’t get it out of my head, because if it is true? Fuck. If it’s true, fuck. The whole drive home I couldn’t help but think ‘ignorance is bliss’.

It just left me with so many questions, questions I literally don’t think you can get the answers to until it’s too late, and…I don’t know what to do about that.

#ghosts #paranormal #demons #halloween #Ouija boards #asks #molly mumbles #molly's memories #and honestly #I tried to make this as little creepy as possible #like it was so much More in person #so uh #happy Halloween anyway

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moonbaby71 · 3 years

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dear mom, i wonder how and where you are, i believe in heaven, i believe hell is a state of being and state of mind, hell is experienced during our life in these frail bodies. i just dont know if we go to heaven and thats it...i dont think so...i believe in reincarnation and past lives. i love JESUS but im also very SPIRITUAL as well. i have my crystals and runestones and tarot cards. i believe in SOME mediums and psychics,those given the gift by GOD. i wonder if your in heaven now looking for your next family you wanna come back and be a part of, i believe we choose our lives before birth, even our troubles,traumas and hardships, we live each life to learn new lessons we failed to learn the life before. im sorry we wernt talking when you passed on, thats guilt and regret i live evry single day and a hard lesson learned, i tell everyone i love them several times a day. i hold no grudges and i show more love and kindness to others. i miss you mom. i miss sitting beside you while you play the piano and sing oldies....oh donna....unchained melody, i loved your singing and your bravery, the way you would get up with that microphone and just belt those songs out at kareoke without one shred of shyness blows mw away, i could never be that brave. you will be happy to know that you also left me your butt! lol ive been 105 to 115 pounds my entire 47 years and then you die and ive gained 45 pounds since then, its been 2 years, seems like 2 months ago. i have a chunky butt now, and boobs too! the hubby loves the curves lol so i dont mind it all that much. i havent drank at all since you passed and i still smoke ciggs, sorry mom, hard habit to stop. i also smoke my herb but you never minded that, gen 1:29 speaks of GOD giving EVERY SEED BEARING HERB AND PLANT TO MAN TO USE AS MEAT. marijuana is a seed bearing plant and we do eat it. weeds not a sin.noone can convince me otherwise. my hubbys doing really good mom. hes been out of prison 7 years now, as long as he was in this last 4th time. hes REALLY changed this time! after 33 years of marraige and 4 prison stints im shocked, but hes actually changed. no criming, no meth, he even prays and thanks jesus every day for his small blessings in life. im so proud of him and for once happy in life at 49 years old. i can breath and live in peace not wondering when the laws are gonna kick our door in. i love the peace living right brings. living by GODS standards the best we can. tell Miss Lucy were going midnight catfishing tomorrow night and it would be lovely if she could join us in spirit. he loved fishing with his grandma. i know shes with you wherever that is in the spiritual realm.

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captawesomesauce · 7 years

Text

Thoughts at 130am

Religion is a complicated fucking thing...

First I will start with what happened tonight with a friend. Last June her son was killed in a bad car accident. They were very close, his father not being in the picture since before birth. He was a great kid, just graduated high school, had big things going for him, she sacrificed and slaved away and worked so hard to give him a good childhood and a good foundation, and he respected that and gave love in return and made her very proud.

And then someone did something stupid, and he was just sitting at a red light when the other vehicle came out of nowhere, and he was dead.

She was beyond destroyed, she was obliterated with grief. Tonight, she went back to her church... some friends convinced her that it’d be part of the healing process, and would help.

The priest/minister/pastor -whatever- met with her and he said the WRONG fucking thing. One of the most important things religion can do is BE a crutch when things dont make sense, when things are overwhelming, and when you need support. Even if you do not believe in god, or the rituals, the sense of community, and the sensitivity of the community can be comforting and supportive.

But this idiot, well, he got his jaw broke.

This was the first time she’d been in that church without her son with her, the last time she’d been in a church since the funeral. She was hurting so bad, all of those reminders, all of the people, just everything slamming into her and ripping old wound, creating new ones.

So what did the dipshit say?

He told her to stop crying, to stop being sad, that she should be happy and should rejoice because her son is with god now! And that this was just a test of her faith, and she must not fail god!

She lost her son and he wants her to rejoice? And what matters more than her grief and her loss is that she still needs to love god or else she fails some fucking test?

She decked him. Broke his jaw. And that’s ok... because it’s just a test of his faith.

Personally, my relationship with god is ... not a good one. I am jewish, and there are some things that are very important to me, and some things, I can’t necessarily agree with. And that’s the great thing about judaism, there’s so much wiggle room. No afterlife, heaven, reincarnation... all possible. But I will tell you that every night at bedtime, mystic and I said the shema together. It used to be that i would cover his eyes and we’d say it, after a few years he’d just bury his face in my arm and cover his eyes that way. :) I held him in his favorite blanket as the doctor pushed the final drug in, and I covered his eyes, and I pinched mine shut, and I said the shema one last time. And I held him so tight as he left, and I cried, and I sobbed, and I held him for 2 more hours after, just talking to him... because I could not let him go... but the last thing we did together, was say the shema, and the last words he heard me say to him was “I love you” over and over again. this is rambly, and I’m sorry for that, but i also want to say that I’ve always felt that Sarah watched over mystic his whole life, and I’ve talked to Sarah so often about mystic and just thanked him for everything. I told mystic to find Sarah, to keep each other company, to wait for me, and that I’ll see them soon. I don’t know if there is an afterlife, but I do hope I see them again. I hope to hug them again. I hope to hold them so tight.I have decided that on the anniversary, I will pay for a tree to be planted in israel in memory of Sarah. And I will do that for 21 years... a tree for every year we were together. It’s the only thing that sounds right to me. He was a jewish cat, he sat with us at passover seders, he kept me company as I fasted over the holidays, we watched the Chabad telethon so many times, and he tolerated my horrible singing of jewish songs. I don’t have a lot of faith, I’ve seen too much in this world to feel anything but disgust at humanity ... and if we are created in gods image, I’m not sure I want anything to do with loving him. But I am Jewish, I do believe in much of its principles and teachings, and mystic was a large part of that with his love and companionship. So i’ve said a lot in this ramble, mostly if you’re a religious person and you’re trying to comfort the bereaved, don’t tell them they should be happy and rejoice that their kid is dead! And that mystic and I said the shema every night, I said it with him as he passed, and that I think planting a tree in israel every year will be a good way to honor his memory and his love. I miss him so much. I really, truly, do.

#thoughts #vet #religion

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gujoonim · 7 years

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Forever Yours

"The moment he lays his eyes on you, he knows that he would forever be yours."

◇ genre: angst, romance, soulmate au, reincarnation au ◇ summary: For the beginning until the end, it was you; the one that he loves the most. ◇ words: 2.9k ◇ warning: mention of death and blood ◇ author’s note: this is the fastest oneshot that i have made and i have to update the lost memories too, i will probably edit it after this because of grammar mistakes and so on. btw, this oneshot is inspired by scarlet heart ost by cbx, you guys should listen to it. anyways thanks for reading it! xoxo

For Jungkook, his definition of soulmate is you. Your existence in this world lightens up the darkness in his world; in every life that he lived. You were brought to his life so that he can grow and expand into the best version of himself. From his first encounter with you, he knew that God created you for him and himself for you.

A perfectly match made in heaven.

Yet, he knows that the tale of his love with you is not an ordinary one like others that end up with a happy ending. In contrast, every life that he lived, you would end up died because of your willingness to sacrifice yourself to save his life. At the end, he was left alone, suffering and withstanding the pain of your loss. Despite of that, his love for you never grew lessens.

The memories of you still freshly wrapped in his mind inducing him to grow stronger than before, believing that one day even in his another life, both of you will be together, happier than in the other life.

But, you do not remember him at all.

In every life, you have no memories of him in your past life. It was just him, the one that remember you but not you. He remembered in his first life, himself being a son of the royal physician and you being a daughter of the royal minister.

“Hi, I’m Y/n” the little you stretched out your hands to shake with him. Jungkook, who is wrapping his arms around his legs while sitting on the bench by the pond, lifted up his head to face the owner of the hands. He felt reluctant to reply your handshake as he has being told not to talk to any strangers.

You slowly shoved back your hand to its actual position before take a seat beside him. You started to hum and playing the sand with your legs. The silence between you and him broke as your ears catch a voice of screaming beside you making you to jolt backwards before regain your consciousness.

A smile curled on your lips as you saw Jungkook already standing on the bench and mumbling some kinds of words that you do not even understand. Your gaze fall from the tip of his fingers pointing something on the ground that might be a reason of him behaving like this.

Frog. A giggle escaped from your lips as Jungkook instantly turned his head to face you with his eyebrows twitched in confusion.

“What’s wrong with you?”

You stood up before brushing your clothes from the dust and pace towards the frog and tossed it away from there. While you rub your hands against he clothes, your sharp ears catch a low tone voice saying thank you. You know it’s him and from that on you grew closer to him more than you can imagine.

Jungkook is wandering along the stall, seeking for something to eat when he heard the people around talking about the final candidate of the Crown Princess that have been selected from the short list of the candidate.

He stopped in tracks and his brains started to interpret the information that he just received. In a sudden his heart beats in an unusual beat and his palms getting sweaty because of anxiety. Right now, he prayed to God that the final candidate would not be the person that he thought of.

He shut his eyes closed and began to hear the news.

Crown Prince is going to be tied to the daughter of military affair’s minister, Y/n.

It’s you.

It becomes the usual routine for you and him to meet behind the empty house. The owner of the house was already moved to other district after her wife’s death, leaving the house empty without any people living in it for a decade. But it is different now; you are not supposed to meet him after you had been chosen as the final candidate of Crown Princess.

It is dangerous for you to be seen with another man right now. Jungkook tried to persuade you not to meet him tonight but you urged him until he can’t say no. Yet, in the bottom of his heart, he is glad that you still want to meet him tonight without even thinking the pros and cons of this meeting. The corner of his lips twitched upwards, plastering a smile.

The greatest of your love towards him turned you to become a girl that willing to risk your own life, just for a guy named Jeon Jungkook.

He thought after the announcement, he would not able to see you again and he can’t bear of that thought. It is hard for him to endure the thought of you being married to another man than himself. Sometimes he thought if he become the Crown Prince, it would be great because from the first, he would choose you and not the others. It would be great for him to be with you every seconds until both of you grew old.

But he is just a son of a physician. It is not like he is not grateful with his life. He loved his family, he loved his dad being an intelligence physician, he loved his mom being a caring housewife, and he loved his brother being a supportive one. His life is perfect yet you filled the half of his heart. Without you being by his side, he has to struggle to pain of losing you that will stay for a long time probably for the rest of his life.

A sudden pairs of arms wrapped his waist from. The back snapped his mind back to the reality. As the breath tickles his neck and the face buried on the back of him, he knows it was you. The way your arms wrapped perfectly fit around his waist. He swiftly turns to face you before you cupped his cheeks and pulled towards yours until your lips met with him.

How perfect was that moment when your lips synchronize with him and you started to deepen the kiss by pulling him closer to you.

Jungkook want to savour this moment as he afraid that it will be last time for him to feel your lips on his again.

“Let’s run away”

Jungkook stopped and pulled back after hearing your sudden bluntness. His eyes travelled from your lips back to your eyes as he stared into your eyes to find the glint of eagerness. You really meant it, he thought. You yanked your hands away from him as he seems disagree with your idea. You took a step back, which makes him slightly taken aback.

Your eyes on verge of tears, he saw it.

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?”

Your questions skip his heart a beat.

“I love you so much. More than you can imagine and I will do anything to keep you by my side and make you happier like before, and even happier.”

The thought of stop loving you never crossed in his mind; the girl that he loves the most. Loving you is the best thing that happens in his life and if lives in the next life, he wants to keep loving you. But how can you thought of that He took a steps forwards and grasped your arms pulling you against his chest as he nuzzled on your neck hoping that it will soothe you.

But today, it seems your fate is not on your side when you heard a voice shrieked at the two of you.

“Stop whatever you are doing!”

Jungkook slowly pushed you beside him and stretched out his hand, preventing you to come forwards. He hoped by doing his would avoid you from getting hurt. Those men steps closer from both of you while gripping a sword tightly. Jungkook’s hearts is going to burst as his heart started to beat rapidly than usual. He knows that you are frightened when you clutched to his arms firmly. He needs to remain calm, his facial expression needs to be control, do not show too much of fears. He needs to be fearless.

Because of you.

“Our little princess is having some fun with another guy. Let’s add more fun to them!” The men remarked in a sarcastic way. Your eyes keep wandered around as you bit your lower lips to prevent from trembling.

“In three, we run.” His low tone voiced is enough for you to hear.

One

The climax reached when you sense the movement behind you and you quickly turned your head behind to men who is already in his steady position to stab his sword in Jungkook’s back. A soft breath touched your ears.

Two

Three. Thanks to your spontaneous react, as you managed to push him away from you and you saw him running a metre away from there, unaware that you are here with a sword implanted through your petite body. Blood burst out from your mouth down to your chin when your eyes captured a pair of eyes across you, staring into yours with a sign of shock filled in it. Your lips move slowly in order to mutter the last word for him.

Jungkook stood there, disbelief of what he saw. The air around him began to suffocate him as he is watching you on your last breathe yet you managed to utter those words.

I love you

Jeon Jungkook.

A familiar voice hit his eardrum and began to send the impulse to the brain. He knows it was you, standing behind the door when the moment he saw your eyes filled with concerned, peeking through the windows. His brain began to recall all the memories between both of you in his past life. Words could not explained how delighted he is when you entered the room, believing that at last, you will be reunited with him.

Y/n. He called you by your name in his past life and it seems in his current life, you still have the same name as his. But his expectation goes wrong when he noticed you did not smile yet you frowned, not showing either surprise or affection. Your face glued with curiosity as you stared at him looking for an answer to your question.

How do you know my name?

Those query struck his heart like a million of swords from his past life stabbed through his heart. His fate does not favour him as you do not memorize anything about him. His gaze fell from your face to your feet, forcing himself to plaster a smile on his face even though his heart does not want to do so. If he has to start from beginning, he willing to do so that you will always by his side.

He does not mind if it takes a while for you to develop your feelings for him just like before, he just wants to cherish that moment with you because for him it was the best moment in his life.

“Because your face looks alike to my best friend, she is a girl.” Jungkook smiled at you in a reassuring way, waiting for your response. Your eyes crinkled upwards as your lips curled a smile, how he missed those looks that suit you the most.

You replied, “She must do something virtuous in her past life to get a charming best friend like you.”

Jungkook let out a soft chuckle, shifting his view to the ground. Yes, she is.

His second life was short compared to his first one as he lived during the World War 2 and same goes to you. Yet, he managed to make you in love with him, developing the affection between two of you even stronger than in the previous life before you have been pronounced died because of stepping on the mortar bomb while trying to bring you some bandages and first-aid kit to him.

In the end, it stills you; the one that died of saving the man that you love, Jeon Jungkook.

In his third life, he almost gives up on finding you when he thought you are not reborn in this lifetime and it turned up as a false presumption.

Hi, I’m Y/n

Jungkook immediately felt a sense of déjà vu when you stretched out your right hands to greet him as a sweet smile curve on your scarlet lips. As usual, you are the one who will greet him first. With you being a close friend to Park Jimin who constantly bringing you to their hangout place, you grew closer to him more than you with Jimin.

Your friendship with him began at the end of summer when you are in your freshman years in the university until you have graduated and currently having a job on your interest field. You always were found next to Jungkook for almost every second and not giving him a chance for his time alone. You shared your interest, your desire and even your secrets with him. He knows everything about you, whether inside or outside as well as you.

In this life that he lived, the relationship between you and him is slightly different. For you, Jungkook is everything, a brother, a best friend but not a lover. Not the one that you wish to spend your lifetime with.

An invitation to Park Jimin & Y/F/N’s wedding.

“Is it nice?” Jungkook was taken aback with the close proximity between you and him. He felt slightly awkward to be too close to you after hearing the news. He knew from the start, you always set your eyes on Jimin even you are more comfortable to him compared to Jimin.

Nice. He simply replied before dozing off while staring at the invitation card. When you started to talk about the wedding day, his mind was completely drifted away from there. As he recall all the memories of him with you in his past life, he felt ecstatic and glad that he had a chance to love and to be loved by you. Even though it was him that remembered you in every life that he lived and you not having any memories of you being with him in your past life as long as you next to him, he doesn’t mind.

Of course, Jungkook is disappointed with that, but he don’t have to own the love because sometimes love need scarification.

Jungkook’s current life, which is his fourth time of reincarnation, he was born into the world without having any memories of you; the one that he loves with his whole heart in his past life. Maybe God want him to start a new beginning of life, with a new soul mate, perhaps.

He seems much happier than before, becoming a model student in an art school, taking a few courses that consist of dance and singing which are his interest, having six friends that being dorky at the same time caring for him. His family that keep supporting his interest from he was a child until now, he waiting in a line to be graduate from his high school.

The graduation ceremony being held at the school hall as soon the ceremony is over, sprinted towards his friends that is waiting for him outside the hall. The moment he start his pace to them, his heart skipped a beat and began to pound rapidly. His eyes travelled from her wavy dark hair, down to your hazel eyes and your scarlet lips. When you caught he staring at you with a blank expression plastered on his face, your lips tugged upwards, gazing at him.

Blood rushed to every part of his skin, as his mind began to reminiscence your existence in his past life from the moment you greeted him who is shy being around you by the pond, the relationship between you and him, the moment your lips met with him and even the grievous memory of your death that occurred in front of his eyes and him not be able to do anything just to stare at your throbbing in pain. The grievous memories keep replaying on his mind on how you’re died in his past life. The winter winds breeze passed the scent of you reached him, he knows it’s you.

As his feet trembled and he is making his way to you while thinking about how come he can forgot all the memories of you and him, his heart began to flutter just to see the sight of you and when he reached there, right in front of you, he want to be the first greet each other.

He continued to stare into your hazel eyes while slowly stretched out his hand to greet you. When the tip of your index finger touched his hand to reply his handshake, both of you felt an electricity flows from your hands to him, resulting to both of you slightly jolted backwards yet, he still grasped your hand tightly. A giggle escaped from him and you before he began to introduce himself.

Hi Y/n, I’m Jeon Jungkook.

His voice is deep and mellow yet it still got a sense of soothing and comforting tone as it continuously hit your eardrum. Your bit your lower lips, lowering your gaze to prevent him seeing that you cheeks started to flush in a rose pink.

I know.

#bangtan sonyeondan #bts writing squad #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook scenarios #bts angst #jungkook angst #jungkook scenario #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook angst #bts drabble #bts x reader #jeon jungkook drabble #jungkook drabble #jungkoook x reader #bts #bangtan boys

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plushievash · 7 years

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45 for like any of your ocs

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?felix thinks he will simply cease to exist. his suicidal ass mostly doesnt care, but when he actually gets close to death he gets an urge to fight and stay alive because hes afraid of never seeing dasha or his brothers ever again.dara thinks his ghost will be doomed to haunt the earth. he has accepted it.leonardo thinks he has a chance to reunite with his family in some form of afterlife;; Only if he can avenge them. he hopes for it.pietro strongly believes in heaven and hell. hes religious. he thinks hes damned to hell for all hes done. hes accepted it but he also fears death because he thinks that will be the last he ever sees of artyom his family and friends, bc hes sure they will all go to heaven without him.demetrio thinks an afterlife is granted to those their high power allows and those who arent allowed simply cease to exist. they are terrified of their “god.” corvi often uses this to bend them to their will.colora things they will become a violent bitter ghost. they have accepted it but they also hope for some form of afterlife where they dont have to part with alexei or maxim.pekka thinks he will be reincarnated. the thought,,freaks him out a bit from time to time. he doesnt like thinking about it,, about him being him but,,Not. hed have a new life, to grow again. on one hand he thinks itd be nice to get a do over for his shit childhood but on the other hed fear his brother wouldnt be his brother anymore

i think thats all ill do for now.. unless i get this question again

#assk #ocs #felix #dara #leonardo #pietro #i serpenti #colora #pekka #suicide mention #Anonymous

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bamjoo-blog1 · 5 years

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11 ways how I deal with my problems

I am not a perfect person. I do got flaws too. I really do my best in hiding my scars, but sometimes it is just so hard to do. There is this time, where life just thrusts his triple edged spiral knife deep down to my chest until it surfaced on my back, seven times. My pastor told me that I am not worthy enough to be called "Son of God". My parents were fighting over were the hell should money go because for some reason our home was going to be demolished by the government and surprisingly they will not give relocation sites for us so we need to buy a new (for us) house. My girlfriend tells me to pick between her or my newly met girl bestfriend in my new university because she suspects that my friend "wants" me. My friends thought that I was cheating to my girlfriend. My girl bestfriend is still coping up in her life after her break up with his boyfriend. Knowing her secrets gives me the responsibility to take care of it, and also her. I am really struggling with my new university because I don't know how to socialize to them, and because I miss my old friends. And lastly, I witness two of my cats die consecutively By that time, I don't know what the **** is wrong with me. I dont know why I need to experience such events that will surely **** me up. I almost question God "WHY?", but I don't have enough time to say that. Well, that is way too much for an introduction. I am Jan Rein Lagasca Gonzales, and I am here to share what are my coping mechanisms. Disclaimer: This practices are done by the author. This list is not applicable to all, but for some reasons, it is effective for the author. For the author, problems expose your weakness and inadequacy. Please read with considerations. 1. I give myself some time to think. You dont really want to get things a lot messier, right? So you should think, "what should I do?". You'll know it when you think, but don't overdo it. 2. I do things that makes me happy. Your sad right? Why don't you go back in your past, where that time you were alone yet happy. Eat your favorite snack. Play some videogames. Walk around, and live like you are not yet saddened by your problem. You can reminisce, but again, not too much. 3. I pray. I am not that religious, but I do believe that God exists. Maybe he is laughing at me right now. I don't know. 4. I love to feel the pain when its there. I just let the pain pass through me. I let it get the best of me. Well, for me, if you feel pain, that means you're alive. 5. I don't let myself idle. If you want to forget about something, you must do something or anything. Just don't let your mind dwell in your problems for too long. 6. I drink. For some, they will say it that this practice is unhealthy. Well, they're correct. This practice is for those worst case scenarios that doesn't have any solutions. It really helps me to be numb, to thicken my skin. 7. I write poems. It feels so much better when I wrote about how my ex-crushes let me feel that I am likeable but I am ugly so they need to dump me. 8. I talk to my parents. They say mother knows best, I say father knows the rest. 9. I pet my cat and/or friend's cat. Credits to Grenovie Elumir for taking good care of those kittens I gave to him. When people makes you feel your trash, go to your pet cat. Cuddle with him/her. Talk about life. And take note, be gentle with belly rubs. When you do it all wrong, then you'll perish. 10. I sleep. I got this thing that when something wrong happens to me, automatically I will have a nightmare. I don't fight it. I am a big fan of horror, so I do love it. 11. When I have heck tons of problems, I isolate them from one another. Well, you don't want things to be crazy, right? So fix it one by one. Don't let your personal problems affects your grades. Be flexible in any means. 12. I think about death. Where will we go? Is heaven and hell are real? Will I be reincarnated? Is there videogames in afterlife? Who knows? Thinking about it makes me still want to live in a way that I don't want to know the answers for those questions. And for me, dying with your problems is not a good way to end your life. That's all, and thank you for reading! May we all overcome our hindrances, uwu.

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oflgtfol · 5 years

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been thinking about death/the afterlife a lot lately...

i think the way rick riordan explained the afterlife in pjo was really interesting and optimistic, how all kinds of afterlifes exist and all religions are true in their own way, and when you die you go to your own version of the afterlife. but in a way its also freaky because he also accounted for the people who don’t have any belief or think that you cease to exist after death

and it’s just.... it’s scary to think about idk. because when i really think about it, i just. can’t really imagine there being an afterlife. we can all hope for one but based on the facts we as human beings have at this point in time, it just feels like a hope and not a reality.

even the more supernatural things in general, i just can’t... truly take them as fact? hell i’ve even had a very supernatural experience in second grade, and my brother was there with me and we saw the exact same thing so i can’t even say it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but even looking back on that it’s just... i cant say it was a ghost? it’s fun to think about ghosts and all that and it’s fun to think about What If They’re Real? or even to act like they ARE real but when i really rationalize it i just... don’t see it. and i think all the experiences that have probably the most basis for something supernatural at work are just... unexplained. outside of our knowledge for some reason or the other. maybe both me and my brother had our eyes playing tricks on us, i mean it’s not very hard to find the shape of a person in the darkness.

and so the only ~definitive~ proof we have of what happens after death would be the people who have died but came back. and they tell of stories of a white light at the end of the tunnel, of god, of christianity, but like. even then i dont believe it. all these stories are all from people obviously raised christian. i wonder what people of other religions see when they die and come back? do they see their version of the afterlife or do they still see what christians do? like i just feel like maybe these are just hallucinations or something, dreams, your mind trying to make sense of something like death. and at that point you have to think, is this someone’s internal bias taking over? if you’re raised with the idea that the christian afterlife is what happens after death, as christians are, then you’ll of course see it. and if you’re a part of another religion/not religious at all and still see this - well, that makes sense, since christianity is so prevalent in society and shoved in everyone’s faces to where even if you believe something else it may have still gotten under your skin subconsciously

i don’t really know WHAT i believe. because as i said, logically i just don’t see anything happening. life came about by chance on this hunk of rock we called earth. i dont see how life has any inherent meaning either, so death doesn’t have any meaning as well. life and death are just things that happen. the world existed before life ever did here and the world will continue after we’re gone. life and sentience are just a complex phenomenon in nature

but.. i dont really WANT to believe that. it’s scary to think that this life is all we have. if life has no inherent meaning, then it’s up to us to make meaning of it, and it’s so scary to think that yes i really have been wasting my whole life doing absolutely nothing meaningful. and to think that i could die at any point, soon or later, unexpected and still without having made something of my meager time, and i couldnt even continue in ANY capacity afterwards because i’d just... cease to exist. i couldnt even look on as a ghost and lament how i Died Too Young, Too Soon. i wouldn’t feel anything. i wouldn’t even be apathetic because i wouldn’t Be. and that’s so scary to think about, to go from Being to Not Being and have it mean absolutely nothing to the rest of the world, the rest of the universe. it’s scary to think about but i can’t help but feel like this is the most likely option

but on the other hand, thinking about if there is an afterlife is equally as scary. i was raised catholic, as i’ve talked about before, and i hate how much it really impacted me even down to subconsciously, to this day. because when i think about if there is an afterlife, i can only ever picture the kind i was raised with. and by god that afterlife is scary.

heaven is cool and all yeah whatever but like, i was raised catholic. and i’ve been a Bad Christian for years now. my best case scenario is going to purgatory and suffering my sins out for however long till i can go to heaven. but i mean with my track record, and the way that the church was like “you’ll go to hell for being a nonbeliever!!!!” i can’t help but feel like... yes i am going to hell. and it fucking terrifies me still. i’ve rejected the church and yet i’m still terrified of the wrath of god because of the Catholic Guilt i was raised with and i hate it. i hate it. because when i think about if there’s an afterlife and i think about how god will smite me down, and how scared it makes me, it makes me want to grasp at straws and cling to any chance i have at going to heaven.

and GOD. thats so ANNOYING. i should not want to be a Good Christian simply because i fear god! and that’s what annoys me so much about catholicism. i disagree with so much of the doctrine and honestly? i don’t fucking want to worship that kind of god if the stuff they told me is true. what kind of god rules his subjects with an iron fist like this. like “you’re going to hell if you dont worship me and dedicate your entire fucking lives to it.” like “i will offer no evidence that i even exist and expect you to continue to believe in me even when there is no factual basis and especially when horrible events occur to you and i do nothing to intervene despite me being a Benevolent Being who Loves You, and then when you have no faith in me, i will cast you into hell, because Good Christians Have Faith.” like “you’re automatically going to hell if you kill yourself even if you have a mental illness and shouldn’t be faulted for your actions because life was already suffering enough for you to be unable to take it anymore but now you’ll suffer for all of eternity just because you didnt value the life that god gave you, simply because its a gift from GOD.” like “you’re still going to hell even if you kill yourself to save other people, yes including literally the entire human species. you threw away god’s gift and so you must suffer for all of eternity.”

one of the first lessons i had as a child and we were learning about hell was with the teacher telling us about how the suffering was for all of eternity. do you know how long eternity is? its unfathomably long. it has no end. i was a child and being taught that If I Mess Up Badly Enough, i will suffer for literally longer than my feeble human mind can even understand, because it has no length, since it literally has no end!!!! do you know how terrifying this is for a kid. especially a kid like me who was anxious over literally everything like 2012 and alien invasions and zombie apocalypses. i was in 5th grade and i learned about the rapture and it scared me so badly that it made me suddenly really invested in Becoming A Good Christian So That My Eternal Soul Is Not Suffering For All Of Eternity

it makes me so angry to think about the church i was raised in and i cant tell if this is just how catholicism/christianity as a whole is or if my church was especially bad or what. but either way i just cannot voluntarily dedicate myself to this religion anymore ever since i started realizing everything wrong with it

and the fact im still terrified of eternal damnation just goes to show how deep this shit goes. and it makes me MORE angry . and it makes me want to separate myself from this as much as possible. but thinking of actually having to fact eternal damnation makes me doubt if i could hold true to this if i actually face judgment, and it makes me EVEN ANGRIER to think that god would be so cruel that he’d force people to be bootlickers just to avoid something like burning in the fires of hell for ALL OF ETERNITY simply for not believing in him.

so yes, the idea of an afterlife is just as scary as the idea of their not being an afterlife. and i guess in the end i’d prefer to just cease to exist. but sometimes i’m still worried that oh no! what if there is an afterlife! and it’s not even like you can choose, like oh no this is the only afterlife and now we’re all going to hell for being nonbelievers. and sometimes this worry makes me contemplate what it’d be like to return to the faith but then it’s like. i shouldnt do this simply because i’m afraid of god. it’d be disingenuous and i’d still go to hell anyway since it’s not like i can even love god with this kind of view towards christianity, so he’d see right through my fake ass practices and it’d all be futile in the end, having wasted my whole life slaving away for this god damn religion like i’ve always wanted to avoid. and even despite that, it’s like, i shouldn’t have to do this in the first place. what kind of god is so full of himself that he’d punish someone for ALL OF ETERNITY because they’re not kissing his feet 24/7 and Dare to doubt him

i wish i was raised without any religion at all. like, because i was raised with this, i don’t think i could even convert to another religion. i admire a lot of religions for the story aspect, but i simply don’t have the drive to carry out the everyday routines and discipline behind them (even if i can admire those too), and what’s the use to them really if i don’t believe in the more uh, supernatural aspect of them, for lack of a better word.

my ideal afterlife would probably be reincarnation maybe. or maybe like the greek afterlife. hades seems really fair in how there’s various tiers for people and their goodness levels.. outside of set religions though i think my ACTUAL ideal would be to just... spectate the living world. like, i’m dead, but i’m able to just. observe what’s happening. i’d love to do that. i don’t want to die but i don’t want to live forever, but my GOD i really want to see where humanity goes in the future and it pains me to think about everything i’m going to miss. if i could just observe it as some sort of outside spectator...

anyway, back in terms of like organized religions, i just can’t make myself truly believe in them. i can hope but that’s really all i can do. because of how i was raised it’s just, christian afterlife or nothing at all, and both seem so bad that death in itself is scary to think about. if only i was raised without a religion, then i think i could maybe do something. if i could choose a religion and rationalize it on my own and come to believe in it then okay. but i’d probably stay non religious then, but at the very least i’d at least be rid of this stupid catholic guilt and fear of god so i could at least ponder the possibility of different afterlifes without being afraid of going to hell beyond the abstract concept of it

#this got REALLY long and it got a lot more angry at catholicism than i was originally expecting it to but. LOL #delete soon #anyway . yeah my mom goes on about ~indoctrination~ at schools but really. REALLY. with what my church said??#how its been years since i so much as stepped foot in a church and that godfearing instinct is still in me?#all because the church people saw it fit to instill that in us as LITERAL children?#i know we all joke about catholic guilt but GOD i will never not be angry about it #fucking tell adults that you should be guilty for existing fine whatever but i was like seven years old that shit got #under my skin and i'm only realizing it in recent years and months.#i really did not mean to get angry at all during this post but. thats just what fucking happens when i think about the catholic church huh #like i originally started off just thinking about death and the afterlife and by the end it devolved into nearly an essay about why i hate #catholicism and i really had to like set my mind back on track LOL #anyway it took me like an hour and 20 minutes to write this post im done bye

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