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softscummymammon · 3 years

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€Unexpected Acquaintance€

Assisted by:: @jinjinjinjin

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Sukuna just wanted this day to end. He was already in a bad mood from the storm last night, where he got little of his much needed sleep, and his mood had only gotten worse when he was faced with a bunch of "nature friendly" bastards protesting near the docks where his boat was tied down.

Now, he just wanted to get his daily load of fish for the market, and have a nap without dealing with any other goody two shoe hypocrites. He could already feel the headache building up behind his eyes.

Though the gentle rocking of the boat over the surface of the water did ease him slightly. People besides other fishermen were always so confused when he actually said something about himself and it happened to his be career in fishing. They were always so astounded when he said he could stay on a boat for a whole day. Weaklings, all of them.

Rubbing at his sore eyes, Sukuna glared at the surface of the horizon and took a sip of the alcohol in his canteen. Tucking the tin back into his wader's pocket, he patted the pocket for safe keeping.

Walking to the front of the boat, he checked his net markers he left a few days ago. Sukuna gasped when he saw his marker bobbing up and down frantically. Getting his equipment ready, he tugged on some gloves and grabbed at the net right under the marker.

Taking a breath, Sukuna started tugged on the net. Grabbing every piece of net coming from the water, Sukuna huffs as he pulls the net further and further from the water. The sound of splashing water reached his ears and he smirked in victory.

Putting all the access netting into one hand, Sukuna quickly reaches behind him for the mechanical hook. The machinery on his boat was built and bought by him only, so only he knew how it worked. By reaching for the net first, he can easily tie the access onto the hook and pull up the rest of it out of the water.

Doing exactly what was needed, he tied the net to the hook and grabbed onto the leaver and started cranking the leaver clockwise. The machinery raised the net out of the water better than he ever could. The load he hauled onto his deck made him smile and rub his hands together gleefully.

" This shipment is definitely worth a pretty penny. Now, all I gotta do it sort you out, fish sticks. "

*Slap* "Who you callin' fish sticks, blubber mouth?! "

Sukuna froze. Looking up, he raised his hand to his face and wiped away some water the fish that had been thrown at him left on his cheek. Peering down at the fish now flopping on his deck, he gave the thing a death glare; as if that would give him any answers. He must really be going crazy-

"Up here, blubber-for-brains. "

His eyes snapped up towards the voice. But the air in his lungs escaped as if they were punched out of him. A human(?)'s upper torso was visible at the top of the net. It was leaning against the hook of the machinery and was throwing and catching a fish in its hand.

Sukuna raised a brow, " What the fuck? "

The thing raised one of its brows back, " Nice use of language, Oh Smart One. I thought you humans were supposed to be intelligent. Though, every one of your kind I've encountered uses fowl language, so smarts must just be a myth. "

Sukuna growled at the things snarky commentary, " Oh yeah? And what kind of intelligent creature like you gets stuck in a fishing net, huh? So much for being smart. "

The thing snarled, showing off rust colored stained teeth dyed by no doubt blood as sharp as many of Sukuna's own fileting knives. It held tightly onto the fish in its hand, " Watch your mouth, human, I still got a whole lotta of ammo here, and your face is lookin' like a big ol' target from where I'm sittin'. "

Sukuna rose an unimpressed eyebrow and pulled out a harpoon gun he kept in the captain's quarters, " Mine hurts worse. "

The thing flinched back and hissed at the gun, but slowly set down the poor he probably squeezed to death in his panic. The thing made a whiny sound in the back of its throat, " I didn't choose to get stuck here. I was getting chased by some shark mers. Those nasty ones only know the smell of blood and the next potential meal. I'd choose to be anywhere else right now, trust me. "

Sukuna huffed, " Yeah, sure. " Putting away the gun, Sukuna sighed and looked back up to the sulking thing. Looking closer, he was the slightest shine of scales decorating the cheeks, neck, and forearms of the thing. Its eyes were steely and sunken in, as if it's seen things beyond it's life time.

Sukuna chuckled upon realization, " You're a mermaid, aren't you? "

The mer scoffed, " Merman, thank. But 'mer' is just fine. I still don't get why ya humans always gotta gender code things. Damn, just call us what we are? "

Sukuna chuckled again, " What? Nuisances? "

The mer hissed again, " We wouldn't be if ya humans knew to keep to yerselves. Ain't this section of the coast off limits to fishers like yerself? "

Sukuna shrugged, not giving an answer. The mer scoffed and crossed it's arms over it's chest. Sukuna looked at it up and down, taking in everything he could. He hummed delightfully.

The mer must have caught on, " What'cha lookin at me fer? Think I'm some sorta snack for yer to eat? "

Sukuna shook his head no, " Nah, I was just rememberin how much one of your kind goes to sell on the blackmarket. You gotta be worth something. No rich bastard would give up the opportunity to call a thing like you pet. "

The mer's eyes went thin, but already creamy skin paled considerably, " You wouldn't... "

Sukuna rose a brow, " Oh, and why wouldn't I? I could definitely use the money. "

The thing stayed quiet, before it soon started to shake. Sukuna was about to sneer and comment about it being weak, but paused when a face formed from agony and rage shot up to glare at him. Sukuna had to keep himself from tensing and tried to look as calm as he could be.

The mer growled, " That's all that ya humans are. Selfish and greedy monsters only willing to do something if you get money in return. Do you know how many of our kind is sacrificed, hunted, and killed just so the others can live? Just so you humans can play god and reap what we mer's sew. "

Sukuna gulped, remembering the auction show he was emailed an invite to since he contributed a large amount of fish to the CEO of the company. It was a disgusting show of wealth. How millionaires and billionaires fought over a small little thing that held a resemblance to the one right in front of him.

The mer wasn't done, but tears of grief started to roll down it's eyes, " How many of our guppies, our children, are pulled from our arms to be sold like live stock?! You are no better! "

Sukuna had enough of this tantrum, " Do not bundle me with those people! I'd never harm a child, even if I am considered a monster by other people. I will not allow it to be done by a fish like you! "

The mer shrunk back, breathing irregular and struggling, like a faint wheeze. It swallowed roughly and looked away. Sukuna rumbled, now over flowing with guilt he felt he should not harbor. Looking back up, he became slightly alarmed at the shallow and wheezy breaths the mer was taking.

Mer's need water, his mind supplied. Sukuna growled, and hackles raising when he caught the mer flinching again. Walking away from the net, he went down below deck on got out a giant glass tank he kept in case he needed to keep a fish alive for more profit.

Taking it up the stairs and on to the deck, he set it down on some secure boxes and grabbed a bucket to start filling it with water. He had to make haste though, or the mer would die from drownin? Suffocation? And all of this work would be for waste.

Once the tank was full and covered from the beating ray of the sun, Sukuna walked over to the leaver controlling the hook and rotated it counter clockwise. He watched as the machine lowered the net onto the deck and he let go of the leaver. Once the machine stopped, he stepped up to the net and untied it.

Being this up close and personal to the mer, he watched as the sun made the scales look iridescent. Slipping his arms underneath the torso of the fish being, he pulled it out of the other fish and dragged it towards the tank. The mer roused slightly, trying to fruitlessly push Sukuna away. The bigger man scoffed and dropped the mer into the tank.

The reaction was instant, the mer took a deep breath through the large gills covering it's side and it slumped against the rim of the glass tank. Sukuna watched, looking at the mer's tail that could he classified as art in itself. It was beautiful, though he would never admit it. The thin tarp Sukuna draped over some boxes didn't stop the light from the sun bouncing off the glittering scales.

Sukuna's gaze went back up to the mer's face, startling to see the mer was also looking at him. It's hair fell in it's face, blocking out most of it. It puffed, blowing some of the strands out of it's eyes to get a better look.

Sukuna hated the way his chest constricted at the show. The mer raised a webbed hand, and Sukuna slowly took it and shook it. He made a face when he pulled it back and fake gagged at the slimy feeling left on his skin. The thing laughed at his disgust and shook it's head, getting water everywhere.

It smirked, " The name's _____ _____. What's yours, blubber man? "

Sukuna sneered at the nickname, " That's not my name. It'd Sukuna Ryoumen, nothing else. "

The mer smirked, " Well now I gotta call you that every time I address ya. "

Sukuna growled, " Don't you dare. " The glint in the fish's eyes didn't quell any of the building dread that sat in the bottom of his stomach. He really debated on if he should sell the fish or not.

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#anime headcanons #jjk x male reader #ryōmen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #x male reader #male character #mermaid male reader #sukuna ryoumen x reader #sukuna x male reader #tw blood #tw gore #tw fishing #tw harmful endangerment #alternate universe

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touchfive · 3 years

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@saintobio

i started sn last night and holy shit my mind has been thinking about it.

god chapter 8 hurts so much

like for the first time meeting sera i saw her problems as a pass and i used it as an excuse because i was poor and i also hated people with privilege once upon a time. but holy shit the moment my family started having those money i get the feeling yn did so at first i was eh they both kinda right bout their feeling. and then this bitch sera started this whole fucking shenanigan. like you are a grown ass woman. even if you haven't experienced it, you must know everyone has their hardships. maybe if you listened to gojo's traumas then you would know how hard it is to be super duper elon musk rich.

and i bet. i FUCKING BET that they used the 'i didn't choose who i fall for' shit. if you believe in that shit, then don't be a fucking hypocrite. dont you say y/n is being selfish about being 'in love' with gojo as you claim she is.

also, this asshole just go to therapy you're rich. go to theraphy !go ask your bestfriend for advice and follw their advice. don't just fuck your mistress and act romantic and emotionally with your wife. if you don't want to do that, then maybe make a fucking schedule???? like

3:30 PM - 6:30 PM I'M FUCKING SERA THIS TIME

6:30 PM - 8:00 AM I HAVE BOO BOO NIGHTMARES SO I'M WITH Y/N

like it ain't that hard.

also i think they lack social media like tiktok and twitter. if teen rebellious phase traumatised gojo had gen-z tiktok, he would make fun of his trauma and probably not cheat. instead of my dad went out for a milk, its my dad made my mom get the milk. he probably would still be an amzing ceo if he had hidden account so his dad wouldn't find out. sera would be that twitter wanna be nice girl but everyone can see how much of a bad fucking person she is but lets it pass cuz she poor and poverty can affect people. i imagine that she makes twitter threads on why these people need to get canceled. and sometimes it is right but good god all of the people she hates are rich. then y/n probably won't use social media that much but if she did, she would probably like build a good community therough making dresses and showing the process in tiktok and would raise charity. and at first she kinda doesn't try to mind the trolls but sometimes she considers quitting on making videos because of hate comments but she eventually gets less and less hurt by them.

im so sorry this is long. my thoughts went everywhere and i was so fucking excited.

anyways, have a great week! and don't feel pressured to write or to answer asks also drink water and be safe!

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upthehillask · 2 years

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James is the LOML I hate how you are more forgiving towards Sirius than him. It ain’t fair but you do you I could never hate you your art is the light of my life (if only there was more James *slides over $100*)

See, I'd love to hear this NOT from a James stan :D Because that's the thing, just like you like James, I like Snape's character, so of course I'm not going to suddenly hate it?? (and when I say character I mean fictional character in a story, not him as a human being) And you ain't gonna back down about James because you adore him! So at the end of the day it's just about preferences and yeah, for sure not worth arguing abou️t! :) You do you, too!! I wholeheartedly understand this kind of "me angy😠" feeling that comes when others talk shit about your fave, like I know that feeling so well hahah So I don't blame you!!

You mentioned Sirius so I wanted to be a bit more clear: My feelings about Sirius ARE very conflicted too, believe me. I just never got a chance to actually delve into it 🤔 But again, I'm more lenient with him not for no reason. Partly it's because we know MUCH more about Sirius than we know about James, which inevitably results in extra bias. And what we DO know about James is like.. the absolute best things AND the absolute worst, and since that's all we've got, both things go hand in hand. I just can't overlook it, I wish I could.

Secondly, I've mentioned it before, and this again somewhat relates to preferences, but I have a thing for trauma. It's THE thing that often helps me understand and relate to a character. James comes from a happy, rich family. Sirius, on the other hand... :') Rich and privileged? Sure. But Blacks are fckin freaky and messed up. Sirius did NOT have an easy childhood, and in my head that explains his behavior of getting triggered by certain things and recklessly acting out when it's not necessary. Also he's just such a hypocrite too, I will never get over him saying "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals" and then treating Kreacher like shit, lol :'D (At least Snape never pretended to be better than he is) So Sirius' character just makes sense in my head. It that doesn't mean that his upbringing excuses his wrongdoings, nor it does for Snape, BUT it still at least partly explains it? Meanwhile, I can't explain James' that same way...

But again, I also just simply don't connect with characters of his temperament (James, Ginny, twins, who else.. well, you get it). It's like... rationally, I LOVE these characters. Truly! I love them in the books, love them as people, they're great, I've drawn them before... But they're just not MY people, that's literally all it is at the end of the day! It's just that with James, unlike with the others, there is one weakspot (his bullying) that I can pick on when I'm forced to defend my preferences. But that's just me being defensive haha like I'm sorry, I can't help it, it's irrational hahah and I just like Snape's character and the stinky shit that comes with it, so of course I will stand up for my interests when I can! :D

#bad person =/= bad character #do not assume I condone his wrongdoings!!!! pls #anti james potter #tagging just in case #discourse

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dragynkeep · 3 years

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Top 5 worst male characters and Top 5 worst female characters in RWBY, and brief reasons why?

This is the type of ask that’s gonna get me shit but I have known no hubris in my life so let’s go. These won’t be in the case of being intentionally bad, I’m doing more on personal taste and the quality of their writing.

Worst Male Characters

1. Adam Taurus

Obviously, Adam is at the top of the list for me. His storyline was butchered from a story of racism and vigilantism to a story about domestic abuse, his brand was cheap shock value with very little substance, he stopped being threatening after the Fall of Beacon and instead became a whiny little bitch, and his voice acting is just bad.

He sounds like he’s gonna call me a slur on Xbox Live.

2. Jacques Schnee

Yeah, the abusive rich man who runs slave mines is bad, but that’s not the main reason he’s on this list. I could accept a character like that if the writers made him good, but they didn’t. Jacques wasn’t intimidating at all. He wasn’t smart at all. The man who conned his father in law and wife into giving him complete control of the most powerful company in Remnant is not the same man we get in the actual show.

He’s whiny, cowardly, and a useless villain who’s entire downfall was treated like a poorly made joke, and now only serves as comic relief in the Jailbirds scenes in V8.

3. Hazel Rainart

Same issues with Jacques and Adam, but less egregious. Hazel was actually a pretty interesting villain in his earlier volumes, and even after his blunder at the Batlle of Haven, he went back to being kinda good in V6 with his protective behaviour towards Emerald. And then V8 came around and I grew to hate how stupid his reasons for joining Salem were, and the fact that he just beat the shit outta Oscar while whining about his dead sister.

Bro, Idgaf about someone I never met while you’re maiming a 15 year old boy because you wanna be mad at the guy in his head.

4. Qrow Branwen

It’s the same case with Hazel. I actually liked Qrow up until V6, and even then I cared enough to try and see where his alcoholism arc went since it’s a serious issue that affects not only my family, but my people. I started to dislike him after he punched Oscar and kept being horrible to the boy, all without apologising in the end, but v7 and 8 made me really hate him.

I don’t care for his edgy attitude, and I don’t care that he got his self-help book boyfriend murdered by a crackhead. Add onto CRWBY butchering a serious topic about alcoholism with him, and he’s just sank right down writing sense.

5. Ghira Belladonna

I never liked Ghira. I think the others are higher than him on this list just on the virtue that I liked them, or the idea of them, and the writing just pulled them down so much.

But I never had that problem with Ghira, so the disappointment doesn’t sting as bad. He’s just an unnecessary character that cheapens Blake since she’s now a princess, a useless father who somehow couldn’t get his own 12 year old daughter back even thought she didn’t even bother to change her own name, and then featured live on a tournament channel that the whole world saw. He was a useless leader, his ideology was stupid and almost got him and others killed, and he was so ungrateful towards Adam for saving his stupid furry ass that I completely sided with Sienna calling him the fuck out.

At least he’s not on my screen anymore, but I know that won’t last forever and I gotta look at his dumb face again.

Worst Female Characters

1. Cinder Fall

God, she is the worst villain and character in this show. She’s so flat, her stans are annoying as fuck, her voice leaves a lot to be desired, and the fact that there’s hardly anything to her for seven years makes it even worse now that we finally got a backstory for her, and it’s one we ALL GUESSED.

Who would’ve thought she’d be a Cinderella who killed her abusive family, I am shooketh.

2. Blake Belladonna

Blake was my favourite girl in RWBY and I’m mad at CRWBY for what they’ve done to her.

It says a lot that a girl still affected by the abuse and trauma of fighting in a terrorist organisation has more personality and backbone than one who’s supposedly broken free of her traumatic past and moved forward. Blake now is spineless, flat, boring ass cardboard cutout of what she once was, who would rather let her human friends defend her from racists than call them out herself like she did to Weiss in Volume 1.

She’s spoiled, priviledged, annoying, and Arryn has such a flat voice on top of being a gross ass person that I get annoyed every time she speaks. She’s no longer an oppressed minority fighting for the rights of her people, she’s a princess who would rather go to a club with people she didn’t even like than a rally against the man who caused so much suffering to her people. Even her talk with Nora about not letting yourself be taken over by who you’re with romantically is hypocritical, since that’s exactly what’s happened to her since she’s been paired up with Yang.

She couldn’t even have the spotlight of fighting her own VILLAIN, Yang was the one who broke Adam’s Aura and had the big triumphant moment of throwing his sword in the river while she was too busy fucking rock climbing.

3. Yang Xiao Long

Yang was my second favourite girl in RWBY and I’m mad at CRWBY for what they’ve done to her.

Yang wasn’t super developed in the earlier volumes. Honestly, I didn’t think much until her talk with Blake about Raven in Burning The Candle, and her dismemberment leading her towards depression and PTSD. Come Volume 4, I was alright with the portrayal of her recovery. I don’t think they gave enough time between her trying on the arm and then being good enough to leave, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t bad.

What was bad was everything after. Yang became a hypocritical, moody bitch who would drag everyone for their bad decisions while ignoring her own. Her PTSD, something VERY personal to me, was ruined and up and vanished by V7 since she’s now killed the man who gave her the disorder so obviously it’s cured! She is always on Ozpin’s case for the birds shit, and then keeping secrets, but then goes and does the exact same thing while giving little resistance to others doing it because they’re family.

Even her argument with Ruby in V8 was tame as fuck. She blamed Ruby for things not going well while ignoring that it was her own dumbass decisions that contributed to it. Ruby didn’t tell Yang to go and spill the beans to Robyn, her stupid cat girlfriend did that, and Yang went along with it while being unrepentant later on when Ironwood was RIGHTFULLY pissed about it.

Add onto v8 then having her worry about how BLAKE thought about her, rather than RUBY, and I just hate her. This ain’t Yang, I want Yang back.

4. Nora Valkyrie

Nora is just a flat character. Her voice is annoyingly high pitched and screechy, her jokes aren’t funny, and all the things I loved that she got in v4 was later dropped entirely. She had such good moments in V4 that actually made me appreciate her more, and then she just became another hypocrite in v7 who wanted to yell at Ironwood while refusing to look at her own flaws.

On top of her kissing Ren when he was clearly not in the mood to talk, and it made me hate her. It’s not a cute ship moment, it’s a creepy disrespect of someone’s personal space. If it was the other way around, no one would think it was cute.

5. Robyn Hill

Similar to Ghira’s reasons, I never liked Robyn, so she’s low down on the list compared to the others since at one point I loved the others (Minus Cinder but she’s just so bad that she’s #1).

Robyn isn’t a good freedom fighter. She runs in without thinking about things and then proceeds to deny any responsibility of her actions. She won’t accept that maybe her agreeing with the same serial killer that nearly killed her and Fiona, on top of succeeding in murdering some of her supporters and Forest, and starting a fight with Clover in an enclosed space wasn’t a good idea.

Add onto the fact that she’s really just incompetent. She steals supplies from Ironwood to fix the wall and help Mantle, but after time we see that nothing has been done.

Christina Vee is wasted on her honestly.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwde #answered #luke.txt #Anonymous

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calypsoff · 3 years

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Twenty Seven.

Rolling my eyes hard while on FaceTime to Chris, you know what why is the man I love, also is the love of my life and I adore him so much, but he is so fucking stubborn. He has his moments where he will leave his ego at the door where he will obey me and what I say and then the next day he will refuse to hear me out or say I am being judgemental and I need to listen to what I am saying to him, it’s always my way, it never is anyways. But I swear he does shit and doesn’t think of the bigger picture at all “you got a face on with me?” So he says “not so much, you could be here with me in Cali but instead you’re there in Virginia about to do something dumb, it’s not even your child to care” I want to tell him no, I want to say to him if you love me don’t go but I know it will fall on deaf ears. I will look like the nasty one and that I look insecure when I don’t “exactly, show my face and go” I sniggered “that is the issue, you know why Chris. Do it, go. I am busy anyways, I think you need a lesson” rubbing my forehead “you are doing the most for nothing, it’s really nothing. But anyways I’m going to go and look pretty” annoying asshole “ok bye” disconnecting the call before he could say anything more, he just wants to annoy me “why does he purposely go out of his way to be an asshole!” I shouted “baby you could have said no, it’s easy” Mel added hearing the whole conversation, this is whole other issue. I don’t like how we are all dating people in the same circle, if shit goes wrong it will affect us “you don’t know Chris like I do, but you know what. Let him go, he hasn’t had the blogs be on his ass, he doesn’t know what it is like being famous and he will soon find out, I want him too. I’m going to rehearsal and ignoring him when he’s getting tagged in false claims, I don’t care for them. I just didn’t want the mess but let him, he will be calling me up saying I didn’t do anything. Let it happen Mel, who am I to hide him when he doesn’t want it from me, but I am angry, and until further notice I don’t want to know” shaking my head, he is going to get a nasty wake up call.

I enjoyed Virginia a lot, I loved how homie it was. I enjoyed my time with Chris, and I loved it all. It was a real good time away to be honest, it was my home when I was doing the exchange programme, I loved that his family treated me well and I feel Chris and I are closer than ever. But he just needs to stop trying to hear his own voice, like he doesn’t need to go but he will. And I can’t wait to hear him call me and say I didn’t do anything when they are dragging him, me. I have become immune to it, Chris will get a lesson in this “you have a face like thunder, the dancers are going to be shook” Mel said through her laughter “oh I’m not angry, I was just thinking. But how is you and Barry getting on? Is he less stubborn than Chris? Does he actually listen” Mel chuckled, she is laughing but I’m not, I hate when Chris is like this. Tries to be the man of our home, he knows damn well he will be crying to me “he’s a nerd, like Chris and I like that about him. He’s easy going, and we talk every day. He said that if we do end up being together and it works out well enough that he would move here and I’m like nigga already!? I mean I am not whipped at all but he’s nice, and easy going” I sighed out “oh brother, now why can’t Chris be this way” my man is a whole pain “because he likes to be the man of the house, I don’t know. Something he will get over but I’m excited” I’m scared of this whole relationship with friends’ things, I am just not sure of what to make of it. I feel like we will be judging each other, maybe that’s me because Chris is being a pain, but I hope it’s not what I assume it will be, I want better for me, for him, for us to be honest.

Robyn is cute, like she left me her gold chain. I mean it’s cute and small, but she left it behind, I think she did, or she purposely left it here, but I am wearing it anyways. Putting my snapback backwards, I wore the chain anyways, but I am just wearing the minimum, I wore white tee and grey sweatpants. I am just going to go to the thing and then leave, I am there for the free food like the fuck. It’s not even that deep, like I don’t understand why it’s a big thing, I mean I get it but it’s nothing. Go there and leave, that is it. I am late anyways, I told him I am going to go there late because I don’t want to be there all day. They are having the reveal at a hall, so I will turn up and then leave. I showed my face, I am there for my nigga so does it matter. Closing my bedroom door and making my way down the steps “where are you going?” Desean asked me “out, I will be back. Dad, I am borrowing the car!” I shouted; I been borrowing the car every day since being here. I need to get my own car; this is my list for my family. A new car for them, a new home. A bigger one anyways, they deserve it “when will you be back?” my dad asked “I won’t be long, I am going to see TJ” my dad nodded his head “uh, isn’t it Seiko gender party today? I saw someone post a little something about it” nodding my head “anyways, bye” I don’t need to hear anyone speak on this, I know what I am doing. This is my life, I need to take a hold of it in a way of making big money, I need to get into that life. And I think California, well me being in California will do me good. I need that in my life, I need to win big for me and my family and also Robyn, I need to do it for her too.

Locking my car door and making my way to the hall, these Jordan’s I have on right now are brand new, I just bought them today and these sweatpants is what Drake gave me from his clothing line, dope. I ain’t dressed up, I ain’t even shaved so if anyone thinks I made the effort then they lying as fuck. Licking my top lip pulling open the door to the place, I told TJ I am coming, and he came to meet me “I am so fucking happy to see you my brother” TJ hugged me “nigga got a whole fucking clown suit on” Barry snorted laughing “I had to look the part, I got the Burberry tie on. Man, my momma is so happy about this. I hate it” moving back from the hug and dapping Barry “well of course you ain’t going to be happy, shit was a mistake” I chuckled “is Seiko brother’s here?” not like I care “mhmm yeah, they trying to beef me up but whatever” of course “I am hungry, where the food at. There better be chicken wings” rubbing my stomach “nigga I paid half, I made sure there was. We wait on you so come. We can get some alcohol and food” nodding my head, least they waited on me. I don’t care for anyone, just my brother’s.

Licking my fingers as I placed the paper plate down, I am getting weird looks from people I don’t know “little rat, why you keep coming here?” TJ said to his sister “can I get a picture with you?” wiping my hands on my sweatpants “who?” I asked “you” she pointed “me!?” I spat half confused “can I? I want to tell my friends that I know you because you date Rihanna!” she half shouted, I chuckled “who is Rihanna? I don’t date Rihanna ma, see. The pictures you see they are photoshopped. I am single” I lied, but she doesn’t believe me. She seems more disappointed that I even lied to her, she looked down at her phone “my sister is pain bro, like she into this celebrity shit. Like live you damn life “look” she patted my lap, turning to her “oh wow, who is that woman?” she out here pulling out receipts of Robyn and I “stop lying, can I please have a picture with you. You’re super famous now” she is tripping “I am not famous, my god. It’s me Chris! I ain’t had this before with you” TJ nudged me “just do it bro so we can get rid of her” taking in a deep breath “fine, come here” waving her over “TJ take it” she passed her his phone and she openly sat in my lap, I ain’t into this picture thing “you look so annoyed, smile for me. Quick” I grinned at the camera “now go away! Leave us alone, dang” that is the weirdest shit to happen to me today.

Sitting back in my seat as TJ made his way to his baby mother, I find this hilarious to me. I know this nigga hates this, but he is putting on a front, I am so happy it wasn’t me. Chewing on my bottom, Seiko and I eyes met and she is just blatantly staring at me in a room full of people, I mean I wish she looked away, but I can tell she regrets things, she looked away as she should. Clearing my throat looking away laughing to myself “you look well Chris” looking to the side of me “I do? You look well too Kristie” moving my arm from the chair “you’re rather the celebrity in this joint, kind of knocked my best friend off her pedestal” moving my chair away from her as she sat down “I don’t bite, I mean you should know that” rubbing my hands against my sweatpants “I ain’t do shit, I come here to support my friend” there is one thing, I never fucked ugly bitches and I love that for me “likewise, she does love you and still does” I sniggered “right, and having sex with my best friend made that right” she pointed at me “you sir are a hypocrite, you fucked all her friends” shaking my head “she was right there, y’all was ok with it. She knew it was wrong from jump with TJ. She knew that” is this girl being real right now “I never liked her like that anyways, that is the point. I am happier, away from her” Kristie laughed “who wouldn’t be dating Rihanna? She is beautiful and rich, you tell me Chris did you purposely take her there to get with Rihanna?” shaking my head “I didn’t think Rihanna would even remember me like that, I love her so much and I don’t pass around that word much so you can’t say it’s like that when it’s not. Nothing to do with being rich, she is my childhood sweetheart” I don’t care, I will tell the whole world “that sent my friend a shut up letter, Seiko loves you still. I say good riddance, she says she lost but you look well. Better then I last saw you naked” she winked at me “it’s the tan” she got up from her seat “I suppose” watching her walk off, now I should have dated her between her and Seiko.

I clapped seeing that my friend is having a son, happy for him. I think if he was having a girl he would be even more depressed “are you dating Rihanna? You’re the guy she is dating” this girl pointed me out, I stopped clapping “huh, what?” I said all confused “you’re like the guy Rihanna is dating, she was in Virginia and she was at her old school, oh my god you are actually him. I follow him!” she shouted “I am just a regular dude” I put my hands up, in my defence I am “can we like take a picture with you? You are literally the sexiest light skinned nigga. I get why she would date you” I chuckled “I will pass on the photos” I walked by them “congratulations brother, a boy” dapping TJ “I am so happy, like I don’t know what I would do with a girl. Now you need to have a boy, then Barry we all going to have a day care” shaking my head laughing “you need to get Rih pregnant, on god” I shushed him “relax on that, she busy now. But I am happy for you” hugging him “thank you” I know he appreciates it “nice seeing you here” Seiko spoke to me, I stepped back keeping my distance “for TJ, I am going to see to Barry” dapping TJ walking off.

Barry is eating again “people are weird here, they all are speaking on Rihanna and I am her boyfriend. I am but the fuck. I am just a regular dude” Barry is stuffing his face “that makes you famous by affiliation now Chris, you famous” furrowing my eyebrows “that is bullshit, anyways. Kristie came up to me. Started speaking on Seiko still in love with me and shit. This is why I ran here but I think it’s my time to go” I think I do “can we talk?” Seiko is right there “about what? There is nothing to talk about” Barry stood next to me, I ain’t moving anywhere with her “did you go to her concert to get back with her, I hate myself. She was laughing at me all that time when she took you from me” taking in a deep breath “I was never yours, yes I was with you. I dated you but it really meant nothing when I always loved her, I did. I wish you let me go, take off my pictures. Move on, so you can be happier in yourself also. I came here for TJ, not to see you. I am going Barry, good luck with that” I pointed at her bump as I walked off, all I know is that I am in my city but people are acting mad weird now with this Rihanna shit and I want to run home.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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forsetti · 4 years

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On Political Decorum: Fuck Your Feelings

At the conclusion of last night's State Of The Union address, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi ripped her copy of the speech in half. At that moment, around the country, thousands of Republicans and media scolds clutched their pearls, frantically searched for their smelling salts, and dizzily stumbled to their fainting couches. Luckily, within a nanosecond, they miraculously recovered just in time to pull their broken moral compasses out of their grift-lined pockets to locate faux outrage at Speaker Pelosi specifically, and Democrats in general. They took to social media and the pages of political punditry to express their outrage at the “optics” and “lack of decorum.” How dare she sully the institution of government, the office of the presidency, gasp, the very foundations of democracy?

Of course, they either didn't notice or didn't care about optics and decorum when Trump refused to shake the Speaker's hand, as has been the custom after she introduced him. It was okay for him to play the spiteful, narcissistic man-child towards the first woman Speaker in history because reasons-misogynistic, double-standard, fucked up reasons. Yet, heaven forbid she tear pieces of paper in half after a speech. Didn't she understand those pieces of paper were as sacred as Mary's virginity, the Shroud of Turin, and Ronald Reagan's cowboy boots, combined? After Speaker Pelosi ripped those pages in half, the sound you heard was thousands of scolds doing their best Marlon Brando impressions from “Apocalypse Now,”-”The horror.. The horror... The horror...”

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who angrily chant “Lock her up,” at political rallies.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who stand up and clap or nod in agreement as he brags about kicking seven million needy people out of SNAP.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who either are okay with or don't give a damn about a president asking a foreign government to investigate a private U.S. citizen, especially for political gain.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who have no problem with asylum-seeking families being separated and their children being thrown into cages without any basic human rights or healthcare. I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who are okay with the Medal of Freedom being awarded to a well-documented racist, bigot, misogynist, hate and fear-mongering talk radio host. I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who eagerly support a travel and visa ban on entire groups of people based on their religious, ethnic, and/or race. I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who cheered on birtherism.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who had no problem with Republicans meeting during Obama's first inauguration to make sure they opposed every single thing he tried to accomplish.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who spent over eight years calling the then-president and his wife “terrorists,” “Muslim sympathizers,” “traitors,” “apes,” “UnAmerican,”...

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who thought it was awesome to deny a Supreme Court nominee interviews or a vote.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who have spent years spreading dangerous conspiracies from Pizza Comet and Jade Helm to Seth Rich and Vince Foster. I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who either see no problem with or support tiki torch-bearing, khaki pants-wearing white supremacists chanting “blood and soil.” I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who savagely attacked the Affordable Care Act and have done everything in their power to weaken the law, taking healthcare away from millions.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who hide behind “economic anxiety” as the reason they support horrible people and policies. I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who happily deny rights to women, minorities, the LGTBQ community...

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who don't give a damn about leaded water in minority areas.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who have no problem with voter suppression, closing polling places, kicking people off voting rolls... just as long as it affects their political opponents.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who excuse Trumps many sexual affairs, sexual harassments, paying off strippers to hide his infidelity...

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who can look at Trump's actions and listen to his words and call him “God's chosen.” I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who don't care about Trump's remarks about minorities, the disabled, women, lifelong civil servants, Gold Star families...

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who are thrilled with lifetime judgeships being handed out to people with an F-rating from the American Bar Association.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who are willing to screw over their children and grandchildren's futures because it is more important to make liberals cry than it is to ever admit being wrong about economic and ecological policies for the past fifty years.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who take no issue with Cabinet positions being filled with people who want to destroy the very structure and reasons for said office.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who, for any reasons, believe they are superior in any way because of their religion, race, gender... I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who are okay with tax cuts for the wealthy, military intervention without provocation, massive deficits (when they are in power,) socialism for farmers but not for anyone else.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who cheer policies that deny kids school lunches.

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who happily weaken public schools because of White Flight, School Of Choice, Charter Schools...

I refuse to be lectured about decorum from people who proudly wore t-shirts directed at their political opponents that said, “Fuck Your Feelings!”

All of these examples and many, many more from Republicans, media scolds, and the Decorum Police are the reasons why their “outrage” at Nancy Pelosi is as contrived as it is hypocritical. If you honestly believe tearing a bunch of pages in half are in the same ballpark as any of these examples, I'll paraphrase Jules Winnfield from “Pulp Fiction,”-”Ain't no fucking ballpark neither. Now, look, maybe your moral compass may differ from mine, but, you know, caging kids and ripping apart a speech ain't the same fucking ballpark. It ain't the same league. It ain't even the same fucking sport.”

Or, to put it another way, if you are upset about the tearing up of a speech, a speech filled with lies and more dog whistles than a puppy mill, but sat silently as these other things have happened, well then, fuck your feelings.

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polygamyff · 4 years

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56. Part 4

Placing Reign over my shoulder, Robyn is again being unfair and just loves listening to her own voice. Locking my car as I made my way to the home, I can literally hear Robyn outside this door “and where have you been mom? Seriously, I called you” rolling my eyes walking up the steps “here we go” I said to myself “I just needed some time to myself; I didn’t need anyone in my ear Robyn. That is all, I am back now so stop shouting. What is all the commotion outside I could hear you from here” placing Reign down on the couch, she is tired. Placing Reign on her side as I sat down on the edge “oh just Maurice hates the poor and I argued with him about it, that is all, no big situation at all. He is a stuck up drama queen, I can’t be bothered to deal with him” taking Reign’ shoes off “whatever Robyn, keep talking. Says the woman in her million dollar home in New York be quiet” Reign’ feet are all sweaty in these shoes “mom, he was so rude. He didn’t want anything because some poor people made it, he complained right from the start, shall we take a bodyguard, shall we not wear anything expensive. And then he made my family! My family, feel like shit for being poor, how is that even right? His pussy ass couldn’t even tell some kids off” placing Reign’ shoes on the couch “Robbie, calm down. Stop it now” turning while sat on the couch so I can see Robyn’ flustered face, she is just boring “you’re a hypocrite, fine whatever. You’re down for the people, I am not so what. You are just doing the most, I don’t care what you say or what you feel, I will never go back there, ever. Take it as you like. You are the same woman waltzing around with people with money, you are living with a maid and a fucking bodyguard yourself. You are disrespecting my life when you are fucking living it too, ok?” Terry looks so displeased, she just sighed out heavily “I didn’t want the maid!! You fucking bought it, like you do with everything. You are wrong Maurice, accept it, you are wrong. I felt it, I felt awkward and I know they did too. Stood there like a fucking plank of fucking wood watching with such a face on, they were nice to you” getting up from the couch “I wasn’t wrong, it’s not a good place and I said what I said. I am trying with you, I fucking tried!” why won’t she accept I tried “tried!? You should have stayed here, you’re only happy on your throne, your dad did the worst job with you” walking over to Robyn slowly “and still, you’re going to be in your Million dollar home” I stood in front of Robyn “at the end of the day you’re still going to be flying back in a private jet, this shit is irrelevant because your life is not the same, now lower your tone” Robyn mean mugged me “fuck you! Why are you even in this home, you hear this mom. He said I came here didn’t I, making out even this home is beneath him, why stay here?” rubbing my chin “you right, but seeing as my daughter is here I will be here” I said “same room you’re standing in when didn’t want her, right?” I knew that was coming, nodding my head “you’re predictable, you know what. I will go” I can’t be bothered; it will be low blow after low blow from both of us.

“Maurice” Robyn said, I don’t want to hear it anymore. I can find anyone in the Hollywood Hills that will take me in anyways. Dragging open the door “where exactly are you going to go?” banging the door shut as I got my phone out from my pocket, jogging down the steps as I unlocked my car. Diddy will let me use his crib, tapping on his name as I got into my car, I am honestly not going to argue about this to her “Maurice, the man himself. Not like you to call me out of the blue, I guess this ain’t no business dealing” he said down the phone, I chuckled “not exactly, I just need to use your crib in the Hollywood Hills?” putting the car engine on “you know me, you always can. When did you ever need to ask, Quincy is there so just go. You family” putting the car in reverse as I drove back slowly “thank you, this is why I called you first. I knew you got me always, don’t tell Quincy is throwing a little something?” he always doing that “you know how he do, my boy always got a party to throw. But I will let him know you are coming but I have my invite my nigga, my invite to the kings party for the takeover huh” my dad is out here inviting everyone “well I am sitting in the throne with rest of the black kings, that’s how we do. But I will speak to you later, I am driving right now and I ain’t connect it to the car yet so I will call you and tell Quincy to relax. I don’t need that shit around“ I laughed down the phone “I can’t control him, but I will speak to him, be cool” disconnecting the call. I didn’t even want to go but I can’t even believe she made that noise; she made that noise about the moment when I was in a bad place. I am not happy, talking about Maurice. Fuck that, I am annoyed.

The gate opened up as I drove into the mansion, I mean shit is beautiful here, now this is me “Big M!” Quincy said, revving my car as I parked at the side of the Ferrari “it’s been a while” putting my car in park “a while? You thirty now, I saw you and you was in your twenties” getting out of the car “I blinked and I literally aged, family” hugging Quincy “good seeing you, who you with here?” I hope he isn’t having a party; I just don’t want no trouble. Just somewhere to lay my head “some of my friends, some girls. Just a little get together” locking my car door as I walked with him into the home “my dad called and said that Maurice is coming, I am so fucking hype you here. It’s been years! I remember I used to sleep in your home here” I laughed remembering “you mean you was asleep on the floor; I would be walking around in the morning and your ass is on the floor asleep. But it was good, we had fun but good looking. This place is even better now, the renovation was needed pretty much” seeing some new dudes, I don’t know who these are “who are these anyways?” I asked “so this is Cyn, aye. This is Maurice, or Big M, or to me my brother. But Big M was named after what?” I am trying to think now “it was that night, when I got that delivery, and that nigga called me Medicare, the crib was full of all the drugs, I had every drug in that crib. But y’all can call me Big M or Maurice, not Medicare please” Quincy busted out laughing “this nigga threw the best parties, every nigga was there but this is Cyn, and this Lil M” Quincy laughed which made me laugh “are you my son, you light skinned enough to be my son, little fucking M” I cackled “y’all niggas playing me” the kid said but he sound like he ain’t even hit puberty yet.

There is a few girls here, they ain’t coming near me and I ain’t going near them so we good “you passed that now?” Quincy placed the bag of weed on the table “way passed it, you and I both know I have partied enough to question why I am alive now. So we doing lowkey parties now, what is this?” I pointed at the little group around the pool “I arrived here yesterday, but if you want to throw a party we can do it” shaking my head “I was just asking, I am all good with that” getting my phone out from my pocket, Robyn is calling me but I can’t be bothered to hear her at all “I am playing, I am happy for you. We joke and stuff, but you done so good, I flew out for you actually. Your big day, nigga we all are coming out for you” I didn’t even know this “that is dope to hear, not going to lie. You think that shit is fake, you know this famous life. But you do meet good people, yo Cyn. Take a picture of us” holding my phone out to him, he was just walking by us “I am going to be on your Insta? No way” I laughed shaking my head, Quincy rested his arm on my shoulder as we looked my phone “done” he held the phone out to me “thank you” looking down at the picture “light skinned united finally” Quincy spat “I look pale as shit, New York don’t be giving me no sun. That Spain tan done left me” captioning the picture ‘Hollyweird’ posting the picture “what we saying today Big M” looking up at him and laughed “Big M with my nigga Quincy, we just vibing in Hollyweird, we got little M over there. We just vibing, and Shad, if you know the location then come up for a drink” Quincy busted out laughing “we living” he stopped recording “Shad is going to be running here, watch” Shad is like some groupie nigga that made a name for himself, he always was every party I been too here, I think he had an obsession over me.

Sitting down on the chair “can’t sleep?” my mom said “I am tired but then I’m not, he got me angry. I didn’t want to say it, but I did but I didn’t mean it. Mom he was so rude, he literally stood there like they were shit, he made them feel awful. I know they was feeling because I was, I had to go. And then he is acting like some asshole for what? They are my family, they don’t have money, what does he want? Not everyone is rich” shaking my head “I don’t want to be involved Robyn, he is acting how he was bought up like you are acting like you was bought up, you have seen struggle, he hasn’t. I am not taking anyone side because he could have acted better, but also you could see it from his side too. You both need to talk, not argue. I feel like this home is a curse, I am sick of it Robyn. I want to move, how can there be so much bad luck but how was it baby? Are you happy?” My mom asked “I am happy but now I am upset, Maurice is god knows where. I called his phone, but he disconnected it, I didn’t mean to say it. I just want to know he is ok; I want him to know I will see them. They are not bad people, he is taking it all wrong” I am so stressed out “let him have space, try again tomorrow. Did you see his grave?” nodding my head “I cried, it was emotional. I was upset about that, then I was upset that Maurice was not liking it at all. They are not us; I mean they not even me. Yes, I saw, well they told me they have guns, but they have it for their own protection. I don’t know, I didn’t want him to walk out” I feel bad now, I really do.

“I guess he is ok” I said after seeing the post he has made “what makes you think that?” my mom asked “he is with the people he likes, the rich. He posted on social media, but he ignored my call” I want to make up with him but now he’s annoyed me even more “you know what to do, let things cool off. Text him, tell him that you would like him to come here so you both can talk. I am not going to be involved in this, but emotions are high, I just want you both to be ok. Least we know he is ok, that is all we need to care for” placing my phone on the table “but I honestly can’t take the fact he feels that way mom” I don’t think I can “Robbie, listen to me. You love him, let’s start there. You both need to come to a solution, it can done. Sleep on it and think of something. I will take Reign out with me. Or go back to New York, I have had enough because California is no good to you and him. This home!” my mom huffed out “I am going to sleep” rubbing my face shaking my head, he was rude and I am not that but I didn’t mean to say that to him either, my anger and frustration got the better of me.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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justalittlelitnerd · 4 years

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Let Me Hear A Rhyme by Tiffany D. Jackson

Published by Katherine Tegen Books in 2019

Summary: When Quadir and Jarrell’s best friend Steph is killed it feels like his rap dreams died with him. Until they discover that Steph recorded dozens of his songs before dying. With the help of Steph’s younger sister Jasmine, Quadir and Jarrell come up with a plan to keep Steph’s dreams alive and make sure people know his name. But no one’s going to want to listen to the music of a ghost so they make a mixtape of Steph’s songs as The Architect and everything seems great. People are loving Steph’s music and it even catches the attention of a big music rep, but when the label wants to meet Steph, suddenly keeping the secret gets a lot more complicated. Not to mention, they still don’t know who killed Steph and as they get closer to the truth it becomes clear they aren’t the only ones keeping secrets.

I have been wanting to read Tiffany D. Jackson’s work for quite a while. I follow her on Twitter and she’s just an icon and then so many people who’s bookish opinions I trust and are similar to my own have loved her work so I felt like it was a pretty safe bet I would love it too. And I was not disappointed.

I picked up Let Me Hear a Rhyme mostly because I’ve been NYC and Brooklyn and especially Bed-Stuy like crazy and I thought this would help fill the hole in my heart. And while this story takes place in 90s Brooklyn when I was barely alive and no where near Brooklyn, it felt familiar.

The way the story was constructed with snippets from Steph’s perspective prior to his death sprinkled throughout the chapters taking place added to the questions raised by the main characters about his murder. It made me invested in Steph as an individual character rather than the character his friends and family saw him as and therefore made me more personally invested in figuring out who his killer was.

Most importantly the conversations that take place in this book particularly about race but also about gender and sex and music are handled so well and so naturally to the story. It makes the experiences personal and as someone who’s still learning and growing and working to understand these ever prevalent conversations I felt like I walked away with a better understanding then I had when I started.

I loved a lot about this book but one of my favorite scenes was when Veronica and her friends protect Jazz and it leads to a conversation about female rappers and the double standard that is men being allowed to rap about sex but women aren’t. This conversation and double standard is clearly still evidenced by the backlash against WAP.

It was such a pivotal moment to me because up until that moment the story was set up to write Veronica off as a superficial rich girl because that’s how Quadir and Jasmine viewed her. But in this scene Jazz and the reader get a glimpse at this whole other side of her. Honestly, it reminded me of the moment in A Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy where Felicity realizes that softness doesn’t equal weakness because not only is Jazz left realizing that her assumptions about Veronica were just that, but she’s also left needing to interrogate her thinking.

It was really just a perfect example of how life is a constant learning process and I immediately thought of this scene when WAP was released to so much hate and controversy and that kind of impression is just *chef’s kiss*.

Honestly, this book is everything I wanted and more and I can’t recommend it enough and I can’t wait to read more of her work especially Grown (out Sept. 15)!

Keep reading some of my favorite quotes from Let Me Hear a Rhyme!

“Fuck reading about all those dead white people,” Jarrell said, squished next to him, his hoodie up. “This is real history happening right now!”

He was familiar with the shape mourning leaves you in: bent, broken, shattered, grasping at anything that would make you feel whole again. Music healed Steph after his father died. Biggie healed Steph.

‘Dreams don’t settle, so why should you?’”

I’m saying, sometimes music have you looking at the world through a different set of eyes.

“Life is a school called the school of life, young God,” he says with a shrug. “And one should never stop learning their lessons.”

“Pain . . . it can either make you or break you. And we trying to get made out here. You gotta keep going and remember who you doing this for. ’Cause you ain’t just doing this for Steph; you doing this for you.”

Jarrell isn’t afraid to show his emotions. He’s not above expressing his sadness in the way most boys are taught not to. A quality Steph always admired about him.

There ain’t words to describe what it’s like to lose your brother or words to describe what it’s like to lose your best friend. But if I had to compare it to anything, it would be the heart-crushing disappointment of having the boy you’re feeling, the boy who’s helped plug up the holes in your heart, snatch his hand away from you and then you realize you never had and never will have a chance with him. I can almost feel my muscles hardening and the memory of our moment passing with a blink.

“You lie to protect people’s feelings, thinking you know what’s best for them. But do you ever think that maybe telling the truth works just as well?”

I think about the lyrics in so many hip-hop songs and understand why Steph made me listen to them. Life has never been easy for black folks, and survival means doing things you wouldn’t normally. Can I really judge someone trying to live?

“My daddy taught me that anything a man can do, a woman can do too. So if a man can rap about sex, why can’t a woman?” “Yeah, but . . .” “But nothing. And if you can’t see how you wrong for judging them, then you a hypocrite.”

Music was life to Steph and ain’t nothing sadder than the sound of someone’s last heartbeat.

#let me hear a rhyme #tiffany d jackson #ya #young adult #books #book blog #booklr #quotes #book quotes #brooklyn #rap #love letter to the 90s #love letter to brooklyn #music

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Head for the Hills

Apparently there is a California Exodus happening right now? If you were to say that it's because of the rising home prices or the ridiculous homelessness issues or the stagnating wages, then sure. I get that. I move from here every few years because of that sh*t but i always seem to find my way back. California is home. I was born here. I lived most of my life here. The bulk of my family lives here. The most important people in my life live here, save for one. California is one of the most progressive, literate, tolerant, states in he union. It's by no means free of it's issues, i live about twenty minutes away from a city colloquially known as "old hangtown", but I've never had a twenty minute conversation with a straight up bigot, about how they used to hang people who look like me from trees, back in his day. I did have that conversation in Texas, though. California ain't perfect but it's the best goddamn thing in the United States right now. These people that are leaving? They do not feel the same as i do. These people that are leaving? They do not think like I do. These people that are leaving? They definitely don't look like me. They'd probably be the ones talking about hanging me from that tree if they could get away with that sh*t but you can't here. Not in most parts of California anyway.

The cats on their march out of the Best Coast are conservatives. Cats like Ben Shapiro and Nerdtronic are taking their bad takes, hypocritical rhetoric, and ridiculous conspiracy theories, to other states that will welcome that gaslighting, anti-intellectual, straw-man, nonsense. Basically, they're all white-flighting to places like North Carolina and Tennessee; Some of the reddest states in the union. Look, it's no secret that i have a very low opinion of conservative values. I don't think they have merit in a modern world. To be conservative is to limit who you are. To be right wing is to long for a bygone age. These cats are literally anti-progress and that's so weird to me. They advocate stagnation and regression, never mind all of the other insidious things they tend to rally behind or the less than reputable coalitions they attract. The American Dream all of these people lust after, that old timey 'Leave it to Beaver”, white picket fence, middle America suburbia, is the most white washed sh*t, ever. It as a great time, a great dream, for a very specific, less-than-melanated, percentage of the US which leaves out everyone else involved. California ain't that. Unlike a lot of these places these people are moving, California has a WIDE mix of ethnicity. One of these joints cats are moving to, Idaho, is ninety-three percent white. I wonder if that has something to do with this sudden pearl-clutch and bailing?

I get it. California ain't everyone's cup of tea. I have close friends who bailed to go and live in f*cking Idaho, or at least, have an extended stay. That sh*t is my nightmare, man! There's no f*cking way i could live there. That state does not share my values and i have next to no respect for theirs. It's a fundamental difference in how we experience the world and that's fine. I am uncomfortable when I'm the only ethnic in the room. Imagine my utter panic when I'm the only black dude in an entire f*cking city. That ain't for me, man, but I can disagree with your worldview and still like you as a person. We can argue cordially and still get along. That's positive discourse. That's acknowledging our differences but not letting them divide us. If we can have that open conversation, we can grow, progress, as a people. That's not what this exodus feels like. This sh*t feels like a bunch of rich conservatives, upset that this tide of social justice and demand for f*cking humanity, won't stall out. It feels like this is a defeat for them, that they can't push their ridiculously limiting, borderline racist ideals the way they want to and aren't being embraced as openly as they'd like, so they want to flee to an echo chamber where their bigotry is normalized. If you press them, they'll say its because the state is ran poorly or that the Wuha is bankrupting them or whatever but, when you look at the core of Californian values and the sh*t they produce or believe, you see they are the minority in the state. And there is nothing these people hate more than a minority, ya dig?

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pass-the-bechdel · 5 years

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Seven (30.43% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Sixteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Episode Quality:

Exciting and full of strong fodder for discussion and debate; by the same token, potentially frustrating.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Natasha directs comments to Wanda in Nigeria, but Wanda addresses her response to the team as a whole.

Female characters:

Wanda Maximoff.

Natasha Romanov.

Maria Stark.

Mrs Spencer.

Sharon Carter.

Mrs Zemo.

Aunt May.

Male characters:

James Buchanan Barnes.

Steve Rogers.

Sam Wilson.

Brock Rumlow.

Howard Stark.

Tony Stark.

T’Chaka.

Vision.

Thaddeus Ross.

James Rhodes.

Helmut Zemo.

T’Challa.

Everett Ross.

Peter Parker.

Clint Barton.

Scott Lang.

OTHER NOTES:

My immediate thought on the concept of the Avengers being directed by a United Nations panel is the Rwandan genocide; follow from that, any number of other major atrocities that have taken place while the rest of the world sat back umm-ing and aah-ing over whether or not they should intervene. Anyone who knows a speck of history should be very reticent about the idea of being shackled by such political whims.

Ross refers to the unknown locations of Thor and Bruce Banner as being like ‘misplacing a couple of megaton nukes’, as if they’re objects and not autonomous sentient beings who can go where they please without having to declare their intentions, and that should really be the first major red flag to everyone that this guy ain’t on the level.

Vision’s equation about causality is a false equivalence, and an irrelevant one anyway, since oversight doesn’t do anything to hamper his theory about strength inviting challenge. You’re not actually reducing your strength, you’re just making yourself less able to meet those challenges as they come. I feel like Vision should be a Hell of a lot smarter than this absence of logic (also, looking at the threats themselves in previous films, the only ones which can be considered ‘strength inviting challenge’ issues in which the actions of any Avenger characters have ‘bred catastrophe’ are the Iron Man films, and Age of Ultron, all of which are examples of Tony’s hubris coming back to bite him, specifically. The conflict of every other film stems from either 1) trouble predating Iron Man (most of it SHIELD/Hydra related), or 2) other-worldly overspill where Earth becomes the battleground for something uninvited (Asgardian and/or infinity stone bullshit). And even when Tony is the one creating his own demons, he usually doesn’t do so actively through his Iron Man tech or persona (Obadiah Stane’s villainy is what led to Iron Man’s creation, not the other way around; yes, Tony’s grandstanding did directly invite competition in Iron Man 2, but he didn’t make an adversary out of Ivan Vanko, that was his father’s legacy; and Tony’s particular cruelty may have incited Aldritch Killian, but that event predated the creation of Iron Man by nine years, so it’s not a response to that strength. Only Ultron was genuinely a catastrophic consequence of Tony’s (and Bruce’s) abuse of power, but hobbling the Avengers’ ability to operate does nothing to prevent that sort of thing from happening again, it just stymies their ability to halt the onslaught after it begins. You solve that one with legislation limiting what anyone can recklessly create and unleash (which includes Vision himself, incidentally)).

And see, Steve is right; the Sokovia Accords just shift the blame when things go wrong, functionally it makes the Avengers less accountable for their actions by allowing them to play the ‘just following orders’ game. And the point he makes about the panel still being run by people with agendas is exactly what I’m talking about in that first dot point; when decisions are being made on a political basis instead of according to need, you get atrocities, and any person working for the United Nations is a political agent by default. Sokovia is actually a great example of the kind of place that falls through the cracks on the political stage, as it was noted to be ‘nowhere special’, i.e. not politically valuable, and therefore unlikely to receive a swift response from powerful nations who have no vested interests in the good of the country.

Tony’s argument here is extremely personal and emotion-driven; it’s all his own guilt about Ultron and Sokovia and his decision to stop manufacturing weapons, etc, and none of that is relevant to the rest of the team’s situation or their choices. He’s also utterly oblivious to his own privilege here, in that it’s super easy for him to handwave the particulars of the Accords, because he’s a filthy-rich white American whose main ‘thing’ is new technologies, which are not being restricted at all by these Accords; he has the luxury of just signing on and hoping to negotiate amendments later (and also, of having the resources to be able to thwart anything he disagrees with and just do what he wants regardless if he decides he’s right). He’s not taking a moment to consider what the Accords really mean for those members of the team with powers they can’t just ‘put down’, who don’t have the kinds of options and opportunities he has, up to and including the bargaining power to have the Accords ‘fixed up’ later. I really do my best to see both sides of this situation because there IS merit in the idea of the Accords, but no one in favour of it makes a good argument for it and it’s really frustrating.

Who tells someone that a close beloved friend is dead in a fucking text message??? The real villain of this film.

It goes without saying but I’m gonna say it anyway: it’s very hypocritical of T’Challa to support the Accords while also donning his super-suit and taking matters in foreign countries into his own hands. All of the destruction that occurs in Romania after Bucky escapes from his apartment building is because of T’Challa’s involvement (because he was trying to commit a literal murder!), and that kinda gets glossed straight over here.

Tony falls for Ross’ trick by referring to Wanda as a ‘weapon of mass destruction’ in the process of his efforts to justify her internment. It’s all really solid writing, really, vernacular choices that highlight the dehumanisation at the rotten core of the Accords and how good people can be suckered into it without realising until it’s too late (even when things like, say, denial of legal representation should definitely be red-flagging up the wazoo right now). But honestly, it’s such a wild leap from ‘Wanda can’t go on missions anymore’ to ‘we’re going to forcibly deny her the ability to go out in public’. Keep trying to tell yourself that’s not a fucked up situation, Tony.

Steve Rogers holding down a fucking helicopter is just...peak Captain America and I’m so glad.

The part where Tony recruits an actual child who is not involved in this situation at all, spiriting him away to another continent to fight supersoldiers, that’s just...beyond, honestly. I hate this as an introduction for Spiderman because it’s so wildly irresponsible of Tony, it’s an unforgivable thing to do. He’s a kid. This has nothing to do with him. This is where Tony officially loses me in this movie. You can take your self-righteous attempts at justifying your actions and shove ‘em, buddy. You’re actively endangering a child.

We really don’t need Steve to kiss someone every Cap movie. We didn’t need him weirdly mackin’ on his recently-deceased ex-love’s niece. Seriously.

Spiderman’s particular brand of quipping while fighting really irritates me, also. It’s altogether a big no from me on the Spiderman front.

Still love Ant-Man, though. He’s delightful. I also enjoy Hawkeye so much more here than I have in the Avengers films.

C’mon, T’Challa. You can’t attack and attempt to kill a guy outright and then play the ‘you must be guilty because you ran away’ schtick. Do a brain about it.

See, everyone else knows why they’re there and what they’re fighting for, they know the stakes. Scott is the only one on Cap’s side who isn’t already part of the situation anyway, but he’s read in on why he’s being asked to get involved and he’s a grown adult person making an informed decision. Peter doesn’t have that, he’s there fighting because Tony said so, and that’s just fucked up.

Heavy sigh. And here we go with the emotional Tony thing. Yeah, he just saw how his parents were killed by the Winter Soldier. That’s rough. It’s really rough. But he doesn’t just have an immediate emotional outburst, he has a sustained homicidal rage, which includes not only trying to kill Bucky, but also beating the Hell outta Steve, who, y’know, did not kill Tony’s parents. The fight scene lasts way too long and involves too much opportunity for cooler thought to prevail (both in problem-solving and in conversational moments), and someone whose emotions can send them reeling so completely out of control - even when they actively know they’ve been manipulated into it! Zemo literally just told you to your face that this was his plan! - someone with so little impulse control should never be given the power to make decisions for others or wield anything over them. This is all just a really, really great case for why Tony is ill-equipped to be an Avenger at all.

Watching Bucky digging the repulsor out of Iron Man’s chest with his metal hand is...so exciting. Rest in peace, awesome metal arm.

Zemo’s just a regular human, but he gets locked up under utterly inhumane circumstances. Again, the Accords involved a deal with a pretty insidious devil, and they didn’t actually have to prove that Steve’s position was the correct one to such a strong degree (we could have had a more nuanced conversation about the subject of accountability if the two sides were more evenly presented), but damn, the red flags, guys. It shouldn’t have taken Tony until he was horrified seeing his friends in the raft prison to finally clue in.

Ok, so, I know I already played the ‘I’m pregnant’ card to explain away my meandering commentary for Ant-Man, but it’s still true and only getting more significant as time goes on, so I regret to announce that - despite having looked forward to disassembling this movie since I started on this Marvel adventure - we’re now only a day out from publication and I haven’t written anything yet. I know, the deadline isn’t exactly set in stone and I could just hold off publishing until I’m ready, but that’s a slippery slope and if I start telling myself to just ‘get to it when you get to it’, who the fuck knows when it’ll happen. This isn’t supposed to be stressful, so I’m just gonna ramble a bit and see what comes out. There’s a thing wriggling in my guts and I have a house to paint. I’m doing my best.

First things first: my stance re: Accords is that the best method of oversight is the one which emphasises accountability, rather than permission (with acknowledgment that this is a fictional universe with threats and powers which do not reflect the real world). The kinds of issues our Avenger characters get involved with are typically of the sort which has to be nipped in the bud right-quick before it becomes untenable, and also not infrequently, the types of problems which do not offer them bountiful evidence to present to a board for evaluation before they get the ok to counter it. Faffing about with diplomacy and bureaucratic carrying-on is a great way to, say, allow Hydra to launch the Insight helicarriers and wipe out all dissenters to their rule before you have the chance to stop them, or (if Zemo’s apparent plan with the Winter Soldiers had been his real plan after all), to be stuck mopping up the global damage as an elite death squad roams around destabilising governments. I’m not a supporter of the adage ‘it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission’ in the real world, but in a comic book universe, with the supervillains and the world domination and the plots which consistently include chronic time-sensitive action and little if any concrete evidence? The Sokovia Accords are woefully inadequate. By all means, the Avengers should be answerable to someone, and being required to submit reports justifying their actions (and face disciplinary measures or even criminal charges if they cannot explain themselves to a satisfactory degree) is a completely reasonable thing to convene a United Nations panel to oversee. Maybe Tony can hop down off his high horse and face actual consequences for the Ultron fiasco. That’s fine with me, and it’s a logical thing for the world to clamour for. Shifting responsibility to a panel of UN politicians who will then no doubt be reticent to send the Avengers into anything pre-emptively (or within any kind of useful time frame) for fear of backlash is a terrible solution, and even more so when you’re being pushed into it without any time to evaluate and amend the original document before it becomes law.

(It’s worth noting that the person most likely to appreciate how easily the UN panel could be hijacked by political machinations not in the interest of the public good is Steve, owing to his personal role in uncovering and thwarting Hydra’s plans; Sam was roped into the Avenging world through that event, and thus it’s unsurprising that he would have the same concern chief in mind when refusing to sign. While Natasha does sign on to the Accords, she explicitly does not do so because she thinks the Accords are a good idea; she’s playing the political game and ‘reading the terrain’, as she says, and that’s consistent with her character. Tony being impulsive and dangerously emotion-driven is also unfortunately consistent, as is his self-righteousness about imposing his will on others to assuage his own guilt. Vision really has no excuse for being so bad at logicking his way to signing the Accords, but it’s no surprise to me that the most clear-headed staunch Accords supporter would be Rhodey, since following orders from others and unquestioning trust in your governing body is dead-on character for him as a career military man. I think he’s categorically wrong, yes, but I’m not mad at Rhodey for being a True Believer any more than I am at Natasha for being mercurial; both are in-character choices and ones which involve evaluative thought processes, and while ‘in-character’ may still be in play for Tony, evaluative thought processes are not, and that does make me mad. As I’ve noted before, he tends to work as a likable character despite his MANY flaws when he’s in his own movies, because acknowledging those foibles and working to fix them is a core part of his personal arcs in each Iron Man film; it was an essential quality missing in Age of Ultron, and one which made a monster of the character which I AM glad this movie is addressing with fallout; still, there’s a lack of tangible self-reflection and making amends from Tony in this movie, alongside some of his worst personal decisions, and I sincerely do not love him by the end of it.)

The good thing is, despite a few lazy elements - Vision! You tool! - and despite some very frustrating decisions, the central dilemma of the film is a strong and nuanced conversation-starter (and perhaps, argument-inducer). Even though the specific scenario and the people involved (Ross (both of them) and the floating Guantanamo, et al.) skews the narrative definitively against the Accords by the end, there is still fodder there for an intelligent debate about the merits of the concept if not the execution. And, most importantly, Steve’s position on the matter is the MCU’s Captain America to a T - a political story about the appreciable and essential difference between doing one’s duty to a concept, vs adherence to a moral code. Disobedience is a core part of Steve Rogers’ dilemmas - not that disobedience IS the dilemma for him, but that it is at odds with the patriotic good-ol’-boy image he is expected to inhabit from outside. Every Captain America film carries with it the idea that to do the highest good can mean rejecting everything that the people and institutions around you try to insist is right; refusing to play a role that has been prescribed to you; always making the choice for yourself, by your ethos, no matter how hard it is. Refusing to compromise when you see the compromise as an evil; planting yourself like a tree, and saying ‘No. You move’ (a great way of keeping Peggy’s influence alive and moving in the plot, by the way, and a key demonstration of how she and Steve met on the same wavelength. Lots of strong details in this movie, tbh).

My primary complaint, however, is that this is also too much like an Avengers film; nearly all of the other major characters are there, and Tony especially gets a LOT of screen time, and since Cap and his films are my uncontested faves I am pretty salty about having to share the stage for his last outing. The tone and the subject matter are still totally on-brand, but the focus is split, and that’s particularly annoying for what it leaves behind. While Bucky is made central to the drive of the plot, Steve finally being reunited with him, bringing him in, getting the cathartic other side to what was so exquisitely set up in The Winter Soldier, it falls by the wayside a bit and comes off underdone. Sam is certainly there, being wonderful as always, but he doesn’t get a lot to actively influence, he’s mostly just That Other Guy, and it’s a real shame since he was a highlight among super-stiff competition in his introductory film. The touch of Peggy that shines through the film is poignant, but Sharon Carter gets the bad end of the stick with under-developed characterisation and a very ill-advised zero-chemistry attempt to stir a speck of romance in a story with no room for it, and altogether, the kinds of quiet character moments which added so much depth to The Winter Soldier are very much lacking here. We’ve got so many other characters on deck already, plus the introduction of two new major players (T’Challa has a solid, sombre presence which suits the film, and even his hypocrisy fits snugly into the plot so as not to be a barb against him, but as I’ve mentioned already, I am squarely against Peter Parker’s squeaky excessive comic-relief inclusion and the dire implications it has for Tony Stark’s moral compass), and we’re already spending so much time on beefing up Tony’s side of the Civil War. I don’t personally think the movie is bloated, overlong, or incoherent, but it definitely wanders close to all three and I wouldn’t be inclined to argue very strenuously with anyone who wanted to denounce it on any of those fronts. It has a lot going on, not quite too much for an ensemble movie, but more than it should as a story with a single character’s name in the title. I’m still mostly-satisfied by it, and consider it one of the stronger MCU films to date, but as a third Captain America, specifically? A bit of a let-down.

#Marvel Cinematic Universe #Captain America: Civil War #Bechdel Test #female representation #MCU #Captain America #Civil War

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ofaurcra · 5 years

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TASK #001: EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT.

GENERAL INFO

full name: CHIURA AZAMI nickname(s): AZA, MIMI, AMI gender & pronouns: SHE/HER sexual & romantic orientation: BISEXUAL & BIROMANTIC age & dob: 22, 9TH NOVEMBER 1996 birthplace/hometown: YOKOHAMA, JAPAN parents/siblings: CHIURA AKEMI (MOTHER) & CHIURA TATSUYA (FATHER), AZA ALSO HAS A SIMILARLY AGED BROTHER. pet(s): TONKINESE CAT (KIMURA) (X) & SINGAPURA KITTEN (ROMI) (X) astrological sign: SCORPIO dominant hand: LEFT handwriting style: neat, small & cursive (very pronounced swirls joining letters or flicking them off) language(s) known/spoken: JAPANESE, KOREAN, ENGLISH, FRENCH religion: AGNOSTIC current living arrangements: OWNS HER OWN UPTOWN STUDIO APARTMENT occupation/major: FASHION DESIGN AND FLOWER SHOP MANAGER

PHYSICAL

picture reference: (X) blood type: AB+ nationality: japanese skin tone/color: honeyed glow birthmarks & scars: birthmark on her neck and one behind her ear, they’re usually a very pale beige and she has a scar located on her pelvis from being shoved into a brick wall when younger and scraping across the skin. height: 5′4 build: petite but athletically toned allowing for surprising strength hair color: platinum blonde currently, silvery tonage hair length: (X), (X) her hair is currently this length and style eye color: naturally rich chocolate brown but she’s taken to wearing jade hued contacts more recently. diet: healthy and balanced but she isn’t overly worried over it, she quite likes her salads and all her fruits anyway and will happily choose them over sugary snacks. the only time she really binge eats is on her patisserie visits, if she has people over for breakfast (cause she goes all out she is an extra bitch) or if she’s having a movie night with friends. exercise & level of fitness: she tends to swim and run a lot but is more prone to relaxing exercises which help the mind and body like yoga and meditation, she’s very flexible and used to do gymnastics too. but in general she gets the recommended amount of aerobic activity recommended for healthy adults. how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: she usually stands very upright, with her chin in the air so her posture is really good and she often has her arms crossed if she’s being all ‘business workaholic’ aza but if she’s being more relaxed and casual she tends to slant one leg out more and jut the knee with a hand usually resting on her right hip. typical style of dress: (x), (x), (x), (x), (x),(x) body modifications: (x) - this tattoo can be located on aza’s index finger, (x) - this tattoo is located on aza’s back lying just above where her bra strap would sit, (x) (x) - the first image references the design of this tattoo and the second shows the location being just beneath the breast and across the ribcage, it is a tiny tattoo that she shares with ( @sunsbloom) signifying her bond with ivy and referencing the shared zodiac of scorpio between them. (x) - this tattoo can be located behind aza’s left ear. (x) (x) - both these finger tattoos can be located in the places on the images. (x) - this tattoo is dedicated to her brother and can be found on her inner thigh but it is incredibly tiny. (x), (x), (x), (x) - these ones are located in the same places as they are on the images. what can be noticed is that aza has a surprising amount of tattoo’s yes but all are tiny designs and usually incorporate floral elements because she feels such an affliction for flowers, she also prefers to use white ink or red where she can if it works stylistically. finally, she’s hoping to get these (x) with america squad ( @hijinae, @ofdaeseong) as a tribute to their friendship.

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: it’s a bit of a sashay when she’s in the mindframe of getting things done with a lot of hip swinging and fast pace, its not an intentional boss bitch walk but it happens naturally when she’s in a rush. if she isn’t stressed or busy then her walk becomes more of a peaceful and slow paced saunter where she appears to admire or take in her surroundings a little more and get a little zoned out. how does your muse talk?: aza has a delicate and gentle voice, it’s soft and comforting but it’s not quiet at all, she talks clearly and with confidence and when in a position of leadership she can project it without issue. it tends to sound like she’s drawling out words when she’s with those she is comfortable with in a somewhat unintentionally seductive way. she just has a sexy voice asfhfh what can u do. what does their laugh sound like?: twinkly, it comes out in quiet and soft peels and is more akin to a giggle, it kind of lingers in the room long after she’s finished because her laughter is usually short when its genuine as well. how does your muse typically smell?: she favors fruity perfumes which aren’t overpowering but strong enough to catch on the breeze when she moves her hair or embraces someone so scents like patchouli, musk, white amber, grapefruit, wild berries, caramel, praline, jasmine, freesia, peony and pomegranate are some of her favorites. what kind of air do they carry?: somewhat regal, a don’t fuck with me vibe like she’s always sizing you up and knows your next move before even you do to strangers. to friends she’s like a strict but overly affectionate mom. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: as the legend ariana once said ain’t you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch. what are their nervous ticks?: she runs her hands through her hair a lot, like frequently in a matter of seconds or minutes and pushes it back a lot haphazardly, she also bites her lip or chews things more when stressed.

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: spending time with the america squad or ivy since those are her bestest friends, in the past phone calls with her brother really lifted her spirits when she was struggling but its been a while since she’s had one, going out for coffee or picnics in the summer. what upsets them the most?: liars and hypocrites, in general but especially in family dynamics she cannot stand parents who have children and then don’t love them unconditionally as a parent is expected to. she’ll flare up if her friends have family issues and she sees their parents talking down to them automatically because she knows what that feels like and most of the time in her experience with rich upbringing the parents aren’t so perfect either. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: she likes to sketch when designing her fashion and she’s pretty good at painting, likes exploring fashion or art museums and exhibits, likes finding new cafes and quiet restaurants or patisseries for hangout spots, loves spending time in botanical gardens and at the library reading. she’s a bit of an adventurer by nature she just loves to be going places but more quiet hobbies are things like baking, journalism and a bit of blogging. do they have any guilty pleasures?: other than food not really but aza does occasionally enjoy to socially smoke if she goes out partying. she’ll also deny it to all hell and back because sorbet is healthier but she could eat five tubs of ice cream in one evening. is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: she funnily enough is sort of both, i would say she is more extroverted now because circumstances have definitely forced her to be so if she isn’t working one of her many diverse jobs she is going out and exploring but she used to be a huge introvert. and if there is one sign of rain find her under a duvet with hot cocoa sleeping the day away and marathoning on netflix. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: she loves herself what more can i say. she doesn’t believe in vanity she thinks its important to be in love with yourself and i would say her self love comes from a place where it is well earned because she definitely struggled with low self esteem and confidence issues in the past being so silenced and controlled by her father. are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: definitely, if you worked the way aza does you would be as well. it doesn’t help she’s prone to anxiety attacks from stress so she doesn’t respond very well. if its a minimal amount she can be alright, she tends to just walk away and take a break until her head is clear but sometimes if she is overwhelmed she’ll just break down and cry over the smallest things and shut down on herself, going quiet and unresponsive, she tends to get shaky and her breathing worsens. what is your muses worst fear?: following in her parents footsteps and one day being a neglectful parent, she hates the idea of letting anyone down especially her own potential family. what is your muses biggest dream?: making it as a fashion designer i suppose, she doesn’t want fame especially after seeing how it made her family act with people due to their empire and riches but she wants to live comfortably and be able to show her talents and fresh perspective off more. is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: definitely a night dragon but she tries to go to bed and get up at the same time when she can because its supposedly healthier to have a routine. how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: aza is very cultured and i would say she has a philosophical and extremely open mind. her intelligence is one of the kinds where it is more of wisdom than it is scientific and factual or academic alone. though she did incredibly well with her grades academically she’s still god awful at maths and will not engage with it. describe their sense of humor: dry witted, sarcastic, sometimes dark, crude.

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: there aren’t any plotted out for aza yet (but like pls do come love her down) but knowing her anyway i’m just going to say she probably is in sexual relationships because aza is prone to having flings. what is their experience with relationships?: OOF its not great, mostly negative since her life has became more stable in daegu she’s slowly starting to feel and receive and learn how to allow herself for healthy ones but in the past she had a lot of fucked up ones due to miscommunication and her fear of commitment primarily. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: yes yes and yes. BUT aza is way more cautious about it because she’s very aware that usually its a one sided kind of fun where one person ends up falling harder than the other and being hurt. how important is sex to your muse?: i want to say she isn’t that shallow and it isn’t important but... it is, i think for aza its a way to feel things and immerse herself in those emotions without having to feel vulnerable at all but at the same time that only applies to good sexual partners. if not aza thinks sex is just...average at best, its not bad and its not mindblowingly good its just kind of nice for a while and then its done. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: OH LAWD, okay well turn on’s: neck biting, choking, broad physique, a lil bit of manhandling like yes slam her against the door and yes pin her down to the table and yes you can lift her and push her on the counter. turn offs: anything too weird like foot fetishes or watersports or something and doNT for the love of god pls don’t ever spank her, she will freak out, spankings are triggers for her big time. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: yeah i mean azami is pretty agreeable, she gets along with basically everyone. its hard for her to have enemies although she may have healthy rivals and frenemies there is never truly really any bad blood between azami and others. she likes to work through the kinks in relationships and she’s stubborn so she won’t give up on people without one hell of a fight. she even tends to stay friends with her ex’s because in her eyes they should be adult and able to wish each other well in their lives and be happy for one another without tension or awkwardness. how important is friendship to them?: considering that for aza her friends have been like her found and chosen family and her only real soulmate connection that runs truly deep in this world is ivy emotionally speaking i think friendship is the most important thing in the world to azami. quantity or quality of friends?: 100% quality of friends how important is family?: suprisingly although azami’s family are trash and can rot she does find them important and she always will love them and she always will wish that her dad was proud of her. also even though she hates that her brother kind of shadows her and makes bad choices bc of it and she shoulders the blame a lot of the time he is the center of her world and she would do anything for him. she hates the fact she couldn’t be there for him the way she wanted growing up and protect him as much as she’d have liked are they close to their family? why or why not ?: hnhh i mean this one is obvious but no she isn’t close to her family. she did not fit the mold of prim and perfect princess who does as daddy says and knows her place without question even if its wrong. her mother simply shut her out as a way to cope with the fact aza wouldn’t pretend like she would. its also to do with the fact that she had aza far too young and didn’t get a chance to live her own life as she constantly made sacrifices for her and to keep the family together but aza doesn’t know so much about all of that.

FAVORITES

activity: reading animal: cats and she likes chinchilla’s beverage: strawberry smoothies and vanilla and honey milkshakes book: milk and honey by rupi kaur color: pastel pink and mustard yellow designer: ralph laurent food: coq au vin and churro’s flower: wisteria gem: garnet holiday: valentines mode of transportation: car or cycling movie: burlesque musical artist: lana del rey quote / saying: l'avoir c'est avoir les étoiles scenery: starry nights in flower covered fields, bright days in quiet secluded peach orchards and strawberry farms. scent: jasmine weather: sunny but with a light breeze vacation destination: bali

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: fashion designer of haut couture dresses greatest fear: letting down her family and loved ones most at ease when: in a quiet cafe getting work done, having a movie night cuddled up with jinae,dae and the cats, shopping and spending time with ivy doing anything really, looking at art or reading poetry in the sunshine. least as ease when: facing unwanted advances, having phone calls with her family, facing a tight deadline with a heavy workload. worst possible thing that could happen: losing the opportunity to be a parent because she’s too afraid of messing her kids up the way she was and losing the chance to be happily married and living alone forever because she can’t open up to someone on that level of vulnerability. biggest achievement: modelling for some lesser known brands and being included in photography shootings for freelance friends. opening up her flower shop and balancing two other jobs as well as her education. being invited to attend some fashion shows by having some designer connections biggest secret: azami doesn’t really like to keep secrets so there isn’t anything scandalous other than the fact that at one point when she was younger she had a slight crush on dae and if anything that’s just laughable to them now so she doesn’t really give it much thought. top priorities: work, coming up with new innovative and fresh ideas for all of her work and not only dedicating herself to her study of and love of fashion, making time for her friends no matter how busy she gets, remembering to go easy on herself and allow herself to take breaks and vacations.

#daegu:task #if u read all of this god bless u and ur crops may u have a fruitful harvest

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daeneryses · 5 years

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im sorry i have to rant again

i just cant understand how u can fuck up e v e r y s i n g l e o n e of your characters in one (1) episode

WHAT THE FUCK

god knows 2014 me wanted pol!sansa more than life itself BUT NOT LIKE THIS. she’s supposed to be kind and intelligent and c o u r t e o u s and have more than two functional braincells. she’s not supposed to be LF reborn or ms cersei lannister wannabe.

why is she scheming behind her brothers back. why does she hate daenerys so much. why is she the way she is. WHY IS SHE TRUSTING TYRION. this is the biggest mess i have ever seen. she goes against dany as if the north had more than 12 survivors im sorry but I HAVE TO LAUGH BC DANY STILL HAS (HAD) 1 (2) WHOLE ASS DRAGON(S). like if this was a well written conflict i would be enjoying my Clash of Queens but ts just PURE CLOWNERY BECAUSE THEY NEVER EXPLAIN WHY SANSA DESPISES DANY. SHE ISN’T JUST WEARY OF HER SHE STRAIGHT UP HATES HER. my girl sansa is a smart bitch do u really think she’d want to burn (lol) bridges with the most powerful player atm???THEY NEED TO REBUILD WINTERFELL AND THE WHOLE ASS 12 NORTHERNERS WHO SURVIVED THE AVERAGE LENGTH NIGHT AIN’T GONNA BE ENOUGH. MMAYBE THE UNDEAD DEMONS ARE DEAD BUT IT IS STILL WINTER THEY NEED PROVISIONS (although, to be fair, there aren’t many people left)

god

i dont even think there’s a single powerful house in the north anymore (besides the starks) like who would even rally to them who would they be ruling over i d o n t g e t i t.

also wtf is gonna happen to the glovers???? they betrayed their liege lords and nothing’s gonna happen to them??? GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE FUCK CONSEQUENCES. CONSEQUENCES ONLY APPLY TO DAENERYS TARGARYEN NOW APPARENTLY.

why is she emulating the worst of LF did she learn nothing? am i in hell? if she thinks jon is such an imbecile (which, i agree!!!) WHY does she want him on the throne. why, all of a sudden, everyone wants jon on the throne? the dude doesnt WANT IT!!! mAyBe thE BeST ruLErS dOnT wANt To rULe yeah well varys how did robert baratheon turned out????

god the northern plotline really sucked ass. and i really had hope. i really really did. i should have known the story was fucked up the second they sent sansa to marry ramsey instead of fArya.

ITS ALSO SO FRUSTRATING WATCHING THEM MERGE CHARACTERS TOGETHER

the whole ass mess we’re about to get with jon and dany is happening solely because they didn’t want to include fAegon. and okay, no biggie, but u cant have ur cake and eat it too. if there is no fAegon u cant have a targbowl. u cant have a golden company. and u should have figured out a way to write cersei out of the story bc by the looks of it fAegon is gonna deal w her in the series. jesus fucking christ. but they couldnt do that could they? which is the reason why we’re 2 episoded away from the grand finale and cersei is still on the throne, the NK (arguably the Great Other) is dead and jon is gonna murder dany. neat. totally not nihilistic. super bittersweet. a+ story telling. IM IN HELL.

Jon and the Young Griff are so....different....how can u even fathom the idea of merging them,,,,when their motivations are so so so so so different. their stories, their motivations, their goals, their upbringing. how much of a dumbass do you have to be to think they could share a storyline.

they also sloppily merged ELLARIA SAND AND ARIANNE MARTELL, with a mix of fucking darkstar in there with the whole “lets assassinate myrcella lol that should work” plan. HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO FUCK THAT UP SO BADLY. DID THEY READ ELLARIA’S SPEECH ABT HOW VENGEANCE DOES NOTHING? HOW SHE WANTED THE SAND SNAKES (the real sandsnakes not....whatever THAT was) TO STOP BECAUSE THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE NEVER ENDS???? IMAGINE INDIRA VARMA DELIVERING THAT SPEECH G*D I WAS ROBBED. but they said “hey, u know what’d be neat? having a deceased prince’s paramour and his three bastard daughters overthrow an ancient noble house and face no repercusions whatsoever from the people (who canonnically loved oberyn) yeah that sounds h a r d c o r e”. house martell is dead and so am i.

and now, arguably The Worst Of Them All: they merged arya and lady stoneheart. fucking stoneheart dude. s t o n e h e a r t. somehow, zombie!cat who is hell bent on revenge and living, sentient arya stark share the same goals. dont get me wrong i’ve been a little bit of a hypocrite bc i sure as hell cheered when arya obliterated house frey. we got that, but at what cost? i’d rather not have that scene and have a human arya stark who is not obsessed with murder and can grow as a character and, u know, be a fucking human being.

i need a whole post to rant about the arya and stoneheart merge

this has been rough bc throughout the years i’ve seen them butcher storylines and fuck things up but i always wanted to think that it was for the best. the show is not the books, after all. george doesn’t have a budget or deadlines, he can take his sweet time (as he has been doing) and build incredibly complex plotlines and keep adding characters and its okay. d&d dont have that. but i dont think its fair to monumentally fuck characters up the way they have been doing.

i dont mind the divergence from the books, i think they are way too rich for any visual media, the plotlines are too intrincate, and d&d had to end the story one way or another. they could tell their own story, it didn’t have to live up to the grand finale of ASOIAF, but they had to respect their audiences.

thorughout the years, whenever i saw what they were doing i was sure they had a reason. that they had an ending planned and all the cuts were made because those particular aspects of the story didn’t matter in whatever ending they had planned. but this season (particularly last episode) has proven me wrong. they never knew wtf they were doing, they just want to shoot cool scenes and that’s it. and now we’re gonna get a half-assed ending that they have only now started to foreshadow and hint at. because they never knew wtf they were doing.

THESE TWO IDIOTS REALLY TOOK ONE OF THE RICHEST PIECES OF FANTASY LITERATURE EVER WRITTEN AND CRUSHED IT THE FUCK DOWN.

EVEN WORST. THEY TOOK THEIR OWN STORY, THE STORY THEY HAD BEEN HINTING AT, AND TORE IT THE FUCK DOWN.

im so mad u have no idea

#got rant #this is like super negative and contains leaks so #dont even open this u dnt wanna read this

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tinkasbell · 5 years

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TASK 005 -- WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR !

2017: easily the worst year tinka has lived through, and she spent fifteen years in foster care. her life was completely pulled out from under her and she was stuck trying to figure things out for herself. peter was acting more off than usual which led to his eventual disappearance from carthay. her options were to stick with the darlings and the lost boys or be on her own. she would’ve chosen the lost boys if they weren’t falling apart at the seams. she didn’t realize just how hard life would be without peter pan there to lead them all. besides, she was too overwhelmed to properly help the group in any way.

2018: the year of growth. tinka has never been one for resolutions, but she really was hoping for a new year, new me transformation. she wanted to be the bright girl she once was. she wanted to be less dependent on peter. she wanted to make a name for herself. no one else attached. she rekindled with iriana, rose, vidia, fawn, silver, and terence in the new year. with this came personal growth. she remembered how to have fun, how to act around girls ( ones she liked, no less ), and how important close friends are. becoming the new tinka bell would have been impossible without their support the whole way. with their help, tinka is learning how to deal with and work through her emotions, how to move on from someone who isn’t coming back, and how to comfort someone else who may be in need.

2019: tinka hopes this will be the year people recognize her as an individual instead of one of peter’s followers. she’s working towards making new relationships with people and hoping to be kinder. she also wants to fully understand her emotions and work on her jealousy, which is much easier said than done-- especially when there’s not currently anything for her to be jealous of. she’s contemplating fixing her relationship with wendy darling, but deep down some part of her still blames wendy for this whole mess. that’s something she needs to work on, but she’s not currently acknowledging it at the moment.

PLAYLIST UNDER THE CUT !

I. YOU SHOULD BE HERE -- KEHLANI.

I'm looking right at you, but you're not there / I'm seeing right past you, but you seem well aware / Your body is here but your mind is somewhere else / So far gone and you think I can't tell -- nobody knows peter pan quite like tinka bell does. she always knew he was itching to leave carthay, and something was seeming off about him. he was never a fully present kind of guy, but he was feeling especially distant. tinka would always offer a penny for his thoughts, but he’d tell her it was nothing. that he was just thinking of his next great prank. tinka is not stupid, but she doesn’t feel it’s too important to push the issue.

II. SOMEBODY ELSE -- THE 1975.

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else / I'm looking through you / While you're looking through your phone / And then leaving with somebody else -- it’s no secret that tensions are high when wendy is around the group. tinka absolutely despises the other girl and just how close she’s getting with peter, and she can tell peter is getting closer to her as well. tinka has argued with peter time and time again over his closeness with wendy but all he does is laugh at how angry she gets. nothing changes and she’s stuck watching him connect and get closer with someone else.

III. TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME -- THE 1975.

I only called her one time / Maybe it was two times? / I don't think it was three times / It can't be more than four times / I think we need to rewind / You text that boy sometimes / Must be more than three times -- after each argument, peter reassures tinka that she will always be his best friend and that he has no plan on replacing her. every time the wendy argument comes up, he uses terence as his defence. if he can be your friend, why can’t she be mine? tinka doesn’t quite think it’s the same thing, but peter swears it is. he calls her hypocritical until she puts the issue to rest.

IV. THE NIGHT WE MET -- LORD HURON.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do / Haunted by the ghost of you / Oh, take me back to the night we met -- peter pan has left town and told tinka not to come with him. she misses when things weren’t so complicated. when they were just kids. when they first met and had their whole lives ahead of them. now, everything is tainted by memories the two of them shared. not only hangman’s tree, but the lost boys and all their adventures around town. sometimes it feels like there’s nothing that won’t remind her of peter.

V. I HAVE QUESTIONS -- CAMILA CABELLO.

I gave you all of me / My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears / Why don't you care, why don't you care? / I was there, I was there, when no one was / Now you're gone, and I'm here -- tinka gave her all to be peter’s best friend. she ditched her original friend group and made his life her life. her whole identity was not tinka bell but instead peter pan’s sidekick. she always stuck by his side and defended him when it came down to it. but now, he’s gone and her identity has left with him.

VI. MALIBU NIGHTS -- LANY.

I drink myself to sleep, who cares? / No one even has to know / I'm dealing with it on my own -- now that peter is gone, tinka feels she has no one. if the one person she trusted most in the world can just leave so easily, who's to say anyone else won’t leave just as easily? besides, tinka has never been filled with so many emotions. she doesn’t know how to handle them, and she doesn’t want to look weak. she had been dubbed peter’s stubborn and hardheaded sidekick her whole life. what would people say if they could see her now?

I feel my body giving up / Can I hold on for another night? / What do I do with all this time? -- tinka had never questioned her identity until she was left on her own. life no longer felt like something to put effort into because look where it got her. all that she had ever done and worked for was suddenly gone and she was left to deal with the emptiness. her days were spent with peter and the lost boys but the lost boys were falling apart quickly. tinka had previously agreed to be slightly’s sidekick if peter ever left, but none of them ever expected him to do so. with no group to go back to, her schedule is suddenly wide open and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

VII. NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY -- ARIANA GRANDE.

Right now, I'm in a state of mind / I wanna be in like all the time / Ain't got no tears left to cry -- months have gone by and absolutely no word from peter. tinka is starting to accept the fact that he may be gone for good, and she’s tired of moping around. she was a functional person before she met him and she will continue to be a functioning member of society now that he’s gone. she’s tired of throwing herself a pity party and ready to rise from the ashes.

VIII. MOST GIRLS -- HAILEE STEINFELD.

Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful / Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable / Most girls, are fighting back everyday, no two are the same / I wanna be like, I wanna be like most girls -- becoming the old tinka would have been absolutely impossible without her girl gang by her side. she knew she blew them off but they happily welcome her back with open arms. they’re a gang full of large personalities and she’s absolutely grateful for each and every one of them. the group wouldn’t work as well as it does without any member, and she recognizes that. they each bring something special to the table and she hopes she can be half as amazing as she finds them all to be. there’s no better group to get her back on her feet than the squad that was there before peter ever was.

IX. HOMEMADE DYNAMITE -- LORDE, KHALID, SZA, & POST MALONE.

We're way too far from home / Let's be honest with ourselves / We're way too high to drive / So let's take on the night / If the light is in the air / Open, finally, we're goin' and we're free -- there’s nothing more likely to get tinka back on track than fun nights with the girls and terence. tinka has always been a fan of mindless car rides where they all add songs to a playlist and just drive around, updating each other on their lives. hearing what is going on in everyone else’s lives distracts her from what is going on in her own. plus, it’s rare the gang is all in one place at one time.

X. THE LIFE -- FIFTH HARMONY.

Give it up for the kids, eating good, getting lit / Living life, feeling rich, this is the life / We the best in the biz, breaking off, betting chips / Living life, feeling rich -- the initial shock has disappeared. peter is gone, but she doesn’t care. she’s got her day one squad by her side and they’re stronger than ever. she no longer feels like she’s missing peter and that’s okay. she’s got a good group around her and together they are even more unstoppable than peter and the lost boys ever were.

XI. NEW RULES -- DUA LIPA.

My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else / But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself -- however, getting over someone is never as easy as it seems. tinka goes through phases where she wonders where peter is. is he doing alright? is he safe? is he alive? he was her best friend, she can’t help but worry. he gave her some of the greatest memories of her life. but he told her not to come with him, and that’s what brings her back to reality.

XII. THANK U, NEXT -- ARIANA GRANDE.

Look what you taught me / And for that, I say / Thank you, next / Thank you, next / Thank you, next / I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex -- as much as tinka wishes she could hate peter for all the pain he caused her, it’s absolutely impossible for her to mutter those words. he made the majority of her life incredible and gave her experiences she would never have had on her own. instead of being angry that he’s gone, she’s come to accept that her time with peter, while temporary, was a blessing.

Spend more time with my friends / I ain't worried 'bout nothin' / Plus, I met someone else / We havin' better discussions / I know they say I move on too fast / But this one gon' last / 'Cause her name is Ari Tinka / And I'm so good with that -- tinka is finally beginning to find herself outside of peter pan and even outside of her girl squad. belonging to groups has always pushed tinka into roles, but reconnecting with the girls and terence reminds her of her likes and dislikes and emphasizes the possibility to clash with certain personalities but still get along with them. while she’s still not one hundred percent there, she’s working on being more in touch with her emotions ( which she’s never been very good at ).

#carthaytask #ok this got really long and yeah the playlist is actually 2017-2018 what about it!!!!#i had the muse and inspo an i ran with it ok :/#also the timeline doesnt add up w when some of things songs came out ( tootime ntltc and malibu nights LOL ) but i wont tell if u wont!#if u read this whole task thank u i rly put in the work!#DFKJGHFDKJHGFDKHJGD #also the playlist under the cut is a link to the actual playlist so like do w that what u will ig. KJDFHGKDFJHGDFKHJGDFKJH

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