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so-i-did-this-thing · 1 year

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Hey! A trans minor here. I want to ask how should I proceed as a trans minor in Florida? I can’t move and my mother doesn’t take me being trans seriously. She says she supportive but I don’t think she is. I’m worried about all these bills coming into place and how they will affect me. I’m a FTgender fluid. Do you have any advice? Also, I play the flute :) it’s nice to see trans instrument players

Ayyy, trans orchestra forming!

So, I won't insult your intelligence by pretending things aren't about to get bad. But maybe I can help you understand the risks and how to keep yourself safe and sane.

An assumption: I don't know if you want to pursue physical transition and that is a convo 100% between you, your mom, and your healthcare providers, so I'm providing it as a neutral option for information purposes.

Also: The bills I mentioned have not passed yet, but they are sitting on the governor's desk. He will most likely sign them, meaning they'll take effect July 1, 2023.

Staying with your family

SB254 is the bill that affects you the most. It's the "kidnapping" bill. Yeah. :/

I don't know what your family situation is like, but if you have family members who oppose your mother's even lukewarm support, that could be enough for the state to remove you from her custody and turn you over to them. It would be up to you and your mom to figure out how to avoid/appease these family members so they don't think you are "at risk" of physical transition.

Gender-affirming care

SB254 also completely locks you out of puberty blockers, HRT, and surgery (the latter 2 in the past are sometimes pursued by older youth with parental consent) in this state. If you want to pursue any of this care, talk with your mother about getting it in another state. You will have to physically travel, because telemed for gender affirming care is also being banned due to new consent form requirements.

Once you are 18, you can pursue physical transition, if that's something you're interested in, but be aware that there are soon going to be so many obstacles to adult care, that it might as well be a transition ban for everyone. But if you're close to 18 and think HRT is for you, review the map for informed consent care. But be prepared for a long search and your insurance not covering things.

That said, if you need a therapist now, I think you may still be good here. Be very careful that you don't end up with someone who wants to use conversion therapy tactics -- these are typically going to be religious-based providers. Talking with other trans kids in your town might help you find a good provider.

Remember, if you don't like a therapist, you can stop going to them; shop around for one that makes you feel safe and makes you feel like they help you with the stress in your life.

Bathroom ban

HB 1521 does a few things:

Bans multi-stall gender neutral bathrooms (single stall is fine)

Requires schools to have bathroom policies

Empowers cis people to confront trans folks in a govt owned/leased bathroom/changing room and force them to leave, otherwise they are subject to a fine and/or jail

This is effectively a bounty bill. Examples of bathrooms where this bill will apply include schools, airports, stadiums, courthouses, etc. It isn't every public bathroom, but it is a lot.

People who are gender nonconforming or are being stalked/harassed by cis folks who know their trans status are most at risk here.

It is up to you how much you want to weigh your self-expression against your physical safety.

As a minor, you don't have a lot of rights, so I advise you choose your battles carefully and always have trusted adults to have your back. Being FTGenderfluid, a lot of how you dress might fly under the radar, but I'd avoid being too heavily masc for now.

Keeping safe & sane

Unfortunately, a lot of support you'd normally find at school is going to be unavailable from now on. But some ways to lessen your stress:

Get a job (if you are old enough). I know, I know, but money makes a lot of life easier, from buying little treats now to stockpiling for things you may want once you turn 18.

Be honest with the reality that you might have to be in the closet a lot, and brainstorm safe outlets for your gender expression. I know at your age, I dressed how I wanted at home and used roleplaying games to explore and express my gender.

Hang out with queer youth, especially in person. You might have a local organization that has events and support groups. It helps a lot to share your feelings with other kids going through the same.

Start following trans political commentators. Erin is a good follow on Substack - she makes it easy to understand all the legal stuff going on.

Consume happy queer stories, by queer authors. It will help counter all the doom scolling. I've been watching Dead End: Paranormal Park (it is a comic and a show), which features a trans masc protagonist.

Cultivate your relationship with your mom. Gently, but firmly set boundaries with her if she gives you guff for, I dunno, wearing boys jeans or whatever. But also be aware she probably has a lot of misinformation about trans people, so you will need to gently pick that apart and see how you can educate her. Trusted adults she also trusts can also help you here.

Build your network. The friends your age you make today could be roommates or coworkers tomorrow. Be social, it will also be good for your mental health.

Be kind to yourself. Things look bleak, but there are states in the US that are actually strengthening trans rights. There continue to be options, you just might need to spend time and resources achieving them.

I hope that helps, and a big hug from a trans adult who grew up in the closet. <3

#trans stuff #anon #transgender

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 1 year

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Hi! So I’m trans and I’ve been going by my preferred name for a long time, and everyone calls me that name (except for family who are transphobic). But basically, I want to legally change my name. I still get called my deadname a lot when it shows up on legal stuff and I hate it. So I need to convince my mom So my question is, how can I bring this up and convince her to let me change it? I already know the legal process.

Lee says:

You know the legal process already which is a great first step! But knowing what the process will entail both legally doesn't mean that you've fully considered the logistics.

Start by making a list of all the places where you will have to update your name (school, doctor's office, bank, social security, health insurance, etc) and then look into what each of them requires to update your name.

There's a lot of paperwork that needs to be done when someone changes their name, and you want to show that you're aware of that, you've read all of the applicable policies/guidelines already and you're prepared to handle it yourself.

Convincing your mom that you're ready for the decision will also be easier if you can show her how committed you are to it. In total, a legal name change can cost $500 or more (in some cases; some people pay less depending on the fees where they live and if they are eligible for fee waivers for court fees) and you'll need to calculate that exact cost for your situation.

You'll probably need to pay court fees (often $250 or more), a few certified copy of the original name change decree (often around $10 per copy), the cost of a new ID if you have a learner's permit, driver's license, or non-driver's state ID (often $13 or more), plus the cost of a new passport and passport card (around $160), an updated birth certificate (around $55), etc. And of course you'll also need to think about the fees for mailing things through the post office.

Depending on your state's laws, you may also need to pay to publish notice of the petition in the newspaper for some amount of time like three consecutive weeks if your local newspaper charges for notices to be published, and you may have to pay to have documents notarized.

Now that you've calculated what the cost of changing your name will be, you need to find a way to get that money. Once you've saved up all the money that you'll need to change your name, move on to the next step.

Finally, collect all the information that you'll need (save all the links to a document or print the website pages) and print out all of the forms that you'll need (court forms, social security forms, passport forms, school policies and forms, etc). Don't think of this as something you're doing to convince your mom-- you're doing this for yourself, because it's what you need to do!

In this situation, I'm assuming that your mom supports calling you by your chosen name and isn't included in the 'family who are transphobic' category. I'm also assuming that in your state you either need only one legal guardian to consent to a name change, or you only have one legal guardian (your mom), or you only need to convince your mom and then she will convince your other parent.

Getting your mom on board will be easier when you can show her that you've fully considered the process of legally changing your name, but you also have to convince her that 1) it's something that you NEED to do, and 2) it's something that you need to do NOW and not when you're 18 or older.

Having that type of conversation isn't easy, but it's a good opportunity to show off your maturity. That means listening to her concerns and actually addressing them, not yelling at her (I know you wouldn't but I have to say it!! Some people do!!), trying to stay calm and taking deep breaths, etc.

If she says that she's worried that you'll change your mind because you're young, tell her that you've been using this name for years and are unlikely to change your mind.

If she doesn't understand why you can't just wait until you're older to change your name legally, show some vulnerability, get emotional, and talk about how being deadnamed affects your levels of gender dysphoria, how often you come across your deadname, how your mental health will be improved when you can change it, etc.

Recognize that you'll likely need to have multiple conversations with her on the topic and it won't be a single one-and-done in a day-- it may take several months before you win her over. Try to keep the big picture in mind. If you have a therapist, they may be able to help you prepare for talking with her.

Finally, remember that you know your mom the best! The things that might have convinced my mom aren't necessarily the same things that will convince your mom. The things that my parents were worried about may not be the same things that your parents were worried about. You are the only one who can figure out what the right path is for you to achieve your goal.

The last thing I'll note is that sometimes you can't win every battle. I was able to convince my parents to let me change my name legally as a minor, but I wasn't able to medically transition until I turned 18.

If you aren't able to convince your mom to let you change your name, remember that it isn't the end of the line. Eventually, you will be 18. And all of this work that you've done will make it much easier for you to change your name at that point-- you'll have all the paperwork at the ready!

It can be difficult to be unable to transition in a way that you need to, but know that you'll survive and you'll get there eventually, and you need to take care of yourself (physically and mentally!) in the meantime to be at your best when it is time for you to achieve that goal.

Followers, any advice for anon on convincing a parent to let you legally change your name as a minor?

#Lee says #legal name change #parents #trans #transgender #legal name change as a minor

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windwardstar · 14 days

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So my two year mark on T is coming up in the next few days and while I will be writing up a longer post about all my experiences later, I do want to say this:

It is never too late to start hormones, you'll see amazing changes no matter how old you are when you start. And I know how hard it is to wait.

I know a lot of those starting hrt later in life stories are from people who didn't realize they were trans until later. And maybe you're thinking it's great for them but that you know you're trans now. You know the options for hormones and gender affirming care exist and you want it but just aren't allowed.

And I'm here to say i know how hard it is to wait.

I knew I wasn't a girl at 5. I wasn't allowed to not be though. Part of the requirements for stopping therapy in elementary school was that I learned to stop saying it. I realized being trans was a thing in high school even if i didnt know nonbinary was an option. I was given room to be tomboy irl and not-a-girl-not-a-boy in my mind. And then I went to live with different family members who expressed violently anti-trans beliefs and any social transitions I did had to be limited to safe spaces, where the countdown to eacaping them also became a countdown to being able to transition socially and medically. I wasn't able to move out and into my own place until I was 25. I didn't get to start T until I was 29 because of insurances. And had to wait until this past year for top surgery and hysto. And am still waiting for bottom surgery.

And I still wish I could have gotten on T earlier. That I could have been able to transition in all the ways I wanted earlier. But they're absolutely worth doing it now because it means I get to be me now. I'm still read as a girl 100% of the time but I feel better about my own body and so many aspects of my dysphoria have decreased. There are things that haven't changed but what has has been entirely worth it.

The wait has also allowed me to build up a history of having a consistent gender identity. It has allowed me to figure out exactly what I want and know down to my bones what the right choices for my transition are so that when I speak with the doctors with other people I have the weight of a decade+ of certainty backing up my choices. And being 30 rather than 13 people are more likely to listen to me and trust that I know myself. It allowed me to save up money and to find a job with good insurance to facilitate my transition.

You shouldn't have to wait. Whatever your age as soon as you know what the right choice is for you, you should be able to make it. And other people stopping you because they think they know better is infuriating and can make you feel hopeless. But one day you will get to transition in all the ways you want.

Bide your time. Use it to figure out what you want. To figure out what you have to do in order to get what you want. To save money. To identify the hoops. Find places where you can be yourself.

I know it's hard to wait. I still struggle with the grief over having to. Wonders of what my life could have been like. But I do know what it is like to finally get to transition and all the joy I've experienced over the past two years, that no matter how long I have to wait for more it'll never be too late because any time I have to experience this joy is worth it.

It's hard to wait, but please stick around and wait. It'll be worth it once you get the chance. I promise.

#hopefully this made sense im on my phone and this was rather stream of thought #monday trans ramble

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living-for-fiction · 7 months

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So my girlfriend is getting bottom surgery! Which is absolutely amazing. She's wanted this for... well I'm not her I don't know how long, but for much longer than I've known her. The whole time we've been dating she's been certain she'll never be able to have bottom surgery because she's a large lady. Well, thing is, my top surgeon (who did an AMAZING job and I will sing his praises forever) also does bottom surgery for trans women - he does a LOT of surgeries for trans women. He's damn good. My girlfriend and I looked him up while I was recovering from top surgery and found people singing his praises all over trans Reddit. Very highly recommended surgeon, and also, he doesn't have a BMI limit. A lot of surgeons for a lot of surgeries in general have a BMI limit that they will work with and you have to lose weight to have surgery with them. This guy, nope. I asked at my top surgery consult if I needed to lose weight since I'm fat and he told me no, he's perfectly capable of doing the surgery on a fat patient. The only way my weight came into play was where I had fat that extended into the sideboob area as a fat person, and my insurance wouldn't cover that. That was an insurance issue, not a his skill issue, and I was able to raise the money to get that part of my chest taken care of too. And so, L got the courage to have a consult with him and was told that her weight would not be a problem with bottom surgery. Date is set and it's happening.

The slight hiccup being... he doesn't take her insurance.

Now, this surgery is happening. We're a polyamorous family, so all partners are on board and are looking at... marriage. Literally, marriage for health insurance benefits. And yes, this includes me.

Let us note that I am aromantic and the idea of getting married is kinda squicky to me. L is an exception in terms of romantic attraction; even then, I never ever want to get or be married.

HOWEVER. This is about health insurance. Nothing else. L considers herself married to her other two stateside partners, and they consider themselves married to each other. They all have matching rings and are each others wives, even though it isn't a legally binding thing. They haven't had a ceremony, though they may someday. They are a triangle, and then L has me as another partner, and metamour M also has another partner (step-metamour C, who also has step-step metamour C-as-well, damnit I need a chart. I think L has another long-distance partner? I've never met her, but we're Facebook friends and while she doesn't come up in convos often with me I assume she is still a partner since I haven't heard about a breakup. Seriously, need a chart. Long-distance partner does not play a role in this convo anyways though, since she's in another country and can't help with the health insurance issue.)

So anyway! We are now trying to figure out which of L's partners has the best health insurance that the surgeon will accept. Or, any. Because we know he accepts my insurance. But we're not sure if he accepts the insurances of her other partners; we've looked into it and it's unclear. She's emailed him but has not heard back yet.

So, I'm here as the only partner whose insurance we know he accepts. Looking at the possibility of getting married so my girlfriend can have bottom surgery.

I mean if there is a reason to get married that doesn't make me gag, then... yeah. This is it. If it ends up being the best option, I'll marry my girlfriend so she can have bottom surgery. Won't that make doing taxes fun?

If the surgeon takes the insurance providers for one or both of my metamours, that would be great; less paperwork for me and I stay legally single, but if he doesn't then, well... guess I'm getting legally married.

#personal #trans #health insurance #polyamory #bottom surgery #queer #aromantic #family of choice

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tjalexandernyc · 10 months

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This is just a lil Life Update that isn't really the type of Content(tm) I would post on, say, instagram so I'll share here:

My wife started a new job this week! This ends our personal nightmare of six months of her unemployment. I spoke about this briefly on an episode of the Meet Cute BookPod (and if you want to listen to four trans and nonbinary romance authors chit-chatting away, please do check it out) but in short: it's been a real stressor. My wife and I will celebrate our 10-year anniversary this year, and she worked at the same company for even longer before being let go as part of the massive waves of layoffs in the tech industry over the last year. (There's a lil trans humor in Chef's Choice about all of Luna's trans women friends being programmers but that joke is now outdated, I guess it's not as stable a job as we would've hoped these days!!!)

I've tried to be super transparent over the years that none of my books would exist without my wife's financial support. It is The Reason I have been able to go out on a limb and try this. It takes a LONG time to see any money in writing, if you ever do. I'm immensely lucky, and publishing is not a friendly place for people who DON'T have a wife with a good job. Or generational wealth. Or a secret cache of gold that was once discovered in a vintage mobster basement.

Anyway! I'm very glad my wife found a new job. I'm VERY glad we have health insurance. And I'm pissed that this shit is so hard, and that so many people are struggling for arbitrary Economy reasons, and that health insurance is so expensive, and that capitalism--keeps capitalizing. That's all I wanted to say!

#life update

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alice-steel · 10 months

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I'm a disabled trans woman currently living with my underpaid and overworked partner off their income as we wait for the beurocracy to agree that I'm disabled and give me the benefits I paid in for the ~10 years I worked before accepting that I'm disabled. Our day-to-day budget, while tight, is functional. However we are so poor as to only get medical insurance through medicaid and to live in the state of Missouri which both already had an explicit exclusion of trans surgeries from Medicaid and recently passed a bill which doubles down on that exclusion and adds in an exclusion for HRT as well.

I've been in touch with a trans legal aid group who said they'd be willing to help with pursuing legal action regarding the old exclusion once I get a direct rejection of the prior authorization I've requested. However, I don't really want to go through the stress of that whole process if I can help it at this point so I'm redoubling .y efforts to get help paying for surgery out of pocket. I've already had a consultation with Dr. Loren Schechter at Rush in Chicago and have all the required medical letters so basically the only thing keeping me from getting surgery scheduled is a lack of funding.

If possible, I would also love to get together enough to just move to the Chicago area, but that's not my priority right now.

I don't currently have a confirmed price estimate for the surgery itself or really any of the related expenses but based on the information I've seen from others I'm guessing it's going to be around $10k-20k. I have no expectation of being able to raise that much from people here, or anywhere else I might share this but I hope to raise enough that I can manage to get a loan to cover the rest.

Donation channels:

Cashapp: $AliceSteelTDD

PayPal: alicesteeltdd

FBPay: message me for link

Crypto: fuck that shit

Others will be added upon request so long as the channel seems trustworthy.

I will update this post as I receive donations and/or details on the actual expected costs.

$0/$10,000

Update: I just received a good faith estimate. The estimate says it will cost $50,615 to them with half up front. Beyond that, I'll also need to cover travel and living expenses for a few months in the area for recovery and follow-up appointments, which I'm guesstimating at around $4.5k. I guess the numbers I'd heard before were after insurance coverage. I've updated the target to $55,000 accordingly. I have yet to receive any aid, so the progress remains at $0.

Update 2: So I got an insurance quote that would cover surgery and everything and if we (my partner and I) could get a loan for $18k with $400/mo payments for 5 years we would be completely set. The problem is our bank will only loan AT MOST 3 months of her gross pay, which is like 7-8k. That would cover our debts and the base premiums for the year, though. Then if I put back my plasma money for the first 2-3 months alongside the amount less than 400/mo that smaller amount's monthly payment is alongside the raise she's expecting to get in the near future (one way or another) and any overtime/extra paychecks we might be able to pull it off! I have to talk it over with my partner before I can go ahead with this gamble though. (Help from others would still definitely be useful to further increase our success odds though.) So on the assumption that we're going to get 7k out of the 18k target in loans I'm going to adjust the goal back to 10k. As we are able to put back money of our own, I'll add that to the progress section. As of now though, there have been no outside donations, and we can't put anything in ourselves, so the progress side stays at $0. (BTW: Anything I get from OF will also be counted towards this, so if you want some nudes/lewds, check that out. I posted about it on my blog the day the first daily post went up.)

#lgbtq #trans #trans surgery #please boost #mutual aid #fundraiser #fundraising #trans fundraiser #gofundme #lgbtqia

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whilomm · 10 months

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hey quick reminder that when ppl talk about not gendering medical stuff like gyno care or abortions or prostate cancer or testicular cancer or whatever its not just bc "oh its misgendering people" (although that should like. already be a good enough reason.) its also because, legally, these things being gendered On The Books™ can and oftentimes DOES result in people being denied care.

(most of the examples of this shit ive heard have been from trans people, probably mostly just on account of me following a lotta trans people, but ill go out on a limb and say the same type of shit probably happens to intersex people, and I would love to hear what yalls experience dealing with this shit is if anyone feels like chiming in.)

for example, a really common one ive heard a LOT about is cases where trans people have to fight insurance providers because oh, you need an abortion? well, our system says that abortion is specifically for females, and your gender marker is legally male, therefore no its automatically denied. sometimes this is fixable by spending however long on the phone with your insurance arguing with them, sometimes they just outright refuse to cover your care. so, hope you have the cash to pay out of pocket!

and even if you do have the money to pay out of pocket, hypothetically you could be denied care in other ways. For instance, if theres a law on the books where you live saying that doctors have an OBLIGATION to provide abortion care to women in emergencies, that could easily be used by someone whos either transphobic or anti-choice to just. let you die, because legally you're a man, and the law says nothing about being obliged to help a man get an abortion.

(i do recall at least one well known case of a trans man who was forced to entirely detransition to get an abortion and wasnt allowed to re-transition for several years, perhaps from the 90s/early 2000s? but I am unable to find a source for that atm, and googles mostly showing recent news articles on trans abortion rights. if anyone recalls the story and has it on hand, i would appreciate a link)

so, if youre considering changing your gender marker you might end up having to ask yourself "do i risk losing access to my healthcare, or do i risk the next bartender/cop/whoever looking at my ID and seeing an (F when i have a full beard)/(M when i have tits)?".

hell, heres even a story from one person who had trouble picking up fucking adderall (not even a gendered drug!) just because the mismatch between the gender listed in the pharmacy system/legally and and his gender listed on his insurance ("female", in order to access reproductive care and shit). his solution was to just, change his gender on all insurance forms to male and "see what happens next time i need a pap smear".

its not just because being misgendered sucks and shits uncomfortable, its because people are regularly denied care due to this bullshit. theres no fucking reason why your insurance/providers should be able to deny you care for parts you have based on a single letter on a form. there is no good reason for healthcare to be gendered besides bureaucracy and denying people care.

yeah, i also would like healthcare to not be gendered because god its fucking uncomfortable when the person doing my pap smear cant go five seconds without saying the word "women" as shes blabbing on, but dont pretend like its ONLY about comfort.

#trans #transgender #healthcare #reproductive care #buzzy #transphobia

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abrahamshipwreck · 2 years

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Please do not take this as shade against Elliot Page but

Its very indicative of how out of reach most if not all confirming surgeries/therapies are for trans people who aren't very, vwry wealthy. I don't know how long Elliot figured out his gender but it seems like overnight he was able to get top surgery and a decent hormone regiment going. Again, I dont know his whole journey, but majority of trans people I know go through YEARS of finding doctors willing to work with them, longer to get on hormones (sometimes longer to get on an actual schedule of said hormones) and even longer for gender confirming surgery.

Elliot made the announcement, disappeared for a month and is now INSTANTLY passing. This isn't just good genes, this is access to the best doctors money can buy, and therefore Elliot doesn't seem to have to endure the 'awkward' phase of trying to pass while running a gauntlet of unhelpful medical/insurance personell.

I dunno Ive just been feeling very salty about that for some time.

#rantrantrant #will delete soon

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asexual-means-no-attraction · 2 years

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I have a bit of a loaded question, so the area I live in doesn't have many places that offer hrt or any help for transexuals trying to start the process of transition and places that do cost thousands, I've been living in poverty for years and cant afford health insurance and my dysphoria has gotten worse over the years so can I ask how you went about transitioning or some advice on things you did to ease dysphoria? even if it's just minor stuff that I can try for now

Don't worry about asking too much. And feel free to ask more clarification on anything I say below. This is gonna be a long post so buckle in.

How I did my medical transitioning process in the USA:

-While Ohio certainly isn't a super progressive state, we got the Cleveland clinic which has an entire LGBT center that has been super easy and simple for me to work with.

-I talked to my primary Dr about getting a referral to the LGBT center. All they needed was a therapist letter showing that I do in fact have gender dysphoria/medically transitioning is an important part of improving my quality of life.

-from there I had an appointment to discuss what I want (hrt, top/bottom surgery, freezing eggs, etc etc). You don't have to do everything. But they all involve different drs so they wanna know who to reach out to.

-I got on hrt pretty quickly but I had to save a lot before I got top surgery since insurance wouldn't help at all.

Tips for paying for medical transitioning shit:

-goodrx is a good site for finding cheaper meds while still going though legit channels. You just need a prescription and a goodrx coupon. They're good for almost every us pharmacy.

-DO NOT GO THROUGH OTHER CHANNELS.

-I repeat. Do not get your meds through anyone except a Dr office. It's very unsafe and the risks are not better than the rewards. I know it sucks not being able to medically transition. And me telling you it'll be ok won't make it any more easier for you in this present moment. But I promise, it will eventually be ok. You'll get there and one day you'll be able to get everything through legit means. I'm sorry you have to be patient. You shouldn't have to be.

-poverty definitely makes things harder. I had a supportive family that donated money and art commissions I did to help fund my top surgery over the course of a year. But I am not at poverty level. I definitely wouldn't of been able to do that in your situation. I wish I had good advice for that but I don't. I'm sorry.

-does your state, county, city, etc have any LGBT support groups?? Sometimes they will have resources to help with funding and shit.

-there are scholarships for trans people to help with stuff. Can't promise it's easy to get, but it's worth looking into.

-I have seen people use this one thing to grow facial hair?? I don't remember what it was and I don't know if there's side effects. It was like a thing you rub one and it's for cis men to help hair growth. I'm not endorsing it, but it might be worth looking at.

-if you're gonna do binding make sure you look up how to do it safely and you buy it from a safe site. I know that it can sometime get pricey with that but binding unsafely will cost you more in the long run.

General tips for transitioning/suggestions for dysphoria (focusing on trans men):

-there's other things besides medical stuff. You can look into legal name changes too. You do usually have to pay which sucks, but it can be a really nice step when you can't afford the more expensive medical shit.

-even if there are no lgbt support groups in your area, there are online resources you can find too.

-dress for your body type. What styles work for one person, might not work for someone else. You don't have money to throw around so trail and error is a lot harder. But you really have to try and find what works best for you. That can take time.

-I found vests helped my chest look smaller which was nice. Button down shirts with fun designs also do a good job at making chests look smaller. The designs should be non symmetrical. The idea being that the design will drive people's eyes all over and not focus on your chest. I also liked t-shirts with large designs that went across the entire front part of the shirt as they don't have text/designs that exist right there on your chest focusing everyone's eyes there 🙄🙄🙄.

-I have a round face so I found that hair styles that make my face look more rectangular to be extremely helpful. To find what hairstyle is best for you, the best bet is to do some research. Don't go too short though or it'll come off as more of a pixie cut than a male hairstyle.

-one of the worst things for me was my voice (and it still kinda is). I found singing along to songs with male singers help. Both deep and high voices ones. With the music up high so it's harder to hear myself.

-try and figure out what stuff makes it worse. I know some people find seeing their naked body to be terrible and showering/getting dressed in the dark can help with that. If you can determine what makes things worse, you can find small solutions to them.

-when it's really getting you down, remind yourself of things that are gender affirming that you have/can do instead of lingering on everything you can't do.

-there are sports bras designed to make you look smaller which can also be helpful.

-not so much something to help you pass. But I have a hat that makes me feel better when I'm down. If you have a comfort item using it can help a lot when dysphoria is a bitch.

-for my body type I found cargo pants that were loose around the shins to be very helpful in making my hips look smaller.

-not sure about your home life. But if you can, don't shave. I honestly tell this to cis women too just cuz shaving is so much work. But not shaving can be very gender affirming (more so because of the society we live in). If anyone asks you can just say you're too lazy to shave and that tends to satisfy people without them going "you're just doing it for social commentary" (<- which isn't a bad thing anyways 🤷‍♂️ why do people care so much about hairy legs and armpits???).

-again. Don't know your situation. But just having people call you "he" around you can help more than anything. Even if you don't pass, just the acknowledgement that they see who you are will go a long way.

-remind yourself that it's ok that you don't pass. You're still a man.

-I had a really bad spiral of depression from dysphoria before. And I won't say I managed it perfectly. But just trying to get yourself to not care as much about what others think can help.

-this might sound counter productive. But don't slouch to hide your chest. I found that walking with my back straight with that "confident" strut helped make me feel a lot more comfortable about my body.

-if you have someone to talk to, talk to them. Telling someone about how your feeling won't solve the problem but it will make it easier for you to get the emotions out and think more clearly. I can't tell you how much easier it was to think of solution, and how much better I felt in general, by opening up to a supportive person.

-I always found hats to be gender affirming. There is no reason for this as it does not matter what kind of hat.

-we live in a covid world. Get yourself a mask that is "masculine." I say it like that cuz that's full bullshit and cloth has nothing to do with gender. But when I wear a cute cat cloth mask vs usually a black/gray mask I found I got gendered very differently. It's stupid but you might as well use gender stereotypes to your favor.

-don't avoid bright colors cuz you think they're feminine. It's a lot more about style and design than color for clothes.

-remind yourself that you don't need to pass. It's not the end all be all. You're no less trans. And you're still you no matter what people see you as.

-there are voice exercises to make your voice lower. I don't have recommendations but I know they're out there.

-get some boxers. You can't wear them on your period unless you do tampons or get period underwear that's boxer designed. But a majority of the time you can still wear them. And you'll find you get a lot less wedgies which is nice.

-get gendered shirts. Stuff like "world okay-ist brother." Even if you don't pass you can just tell people it's a gag shirt. And it's really nice to wear for yourself.

-People watch. I cannot stress this enough. People watch. Look at men. Look at how many are actually short, have wide hips, have baby faces, have high voices, have long hair, have soft eyes, have long eyelashes, have curves, have less hair on their arms. Look at how they sit, how many also cross their legs, how many also curl up in balls, how many also get flustered and cute, how many say aww at cute cat videos. Really look at them. Because there are so many cis men around you that have a lot in common with you. We've just been taught that these things are feminine or masculine when they aren't and dysphoria makes us exaggerate these differences even more. But they're natural on bodies of all genders. Actions/thoughts that we all share. And it's ok that you have those features. Look at the men around you and see how much you have in common. You aren't that different.

-lastly again. Remind yourself it's ok to not pass. Dysphoria will get worse and it will get better. You'll get over this wave of dysphoria. You'll find a way to manage. And one day you will realize you're thriving in ways you never thought you could. Its hard and I'm sorry it has to be hard. But you aren't alone. And you are already enough of a man as you are now. Even if you don't feel like it yet.

#feel free to add on #answered #ask #not discourse #trans #trans advice #transmen #long post #super long post #on Mobile so i cant add a read more #sorry #i hope at least one of these points has been helpful #but we're in different situations so i cant promise they will #my depression actually got so bad that i just became dumb to my body #so the dysphoria was easier to manage since i didnt actually recognize myself #i had to focus a lot on clothes and hair styles #how others would view me #before i could actually start looking into how i see me #just because i needed others to see me before i could start recognizing myself #thankfully i have a very large support group #and that made that whole process a lot easier #once i started medically transitioning it entered a whole new ball game #never thought id like myself this much #it does get better #I'm sorry you cant be there yet #but there are things that can help you now #good luck #i believe in you

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so-i-did-this-thing · 1 year

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If you wanna know how it's going in Florida as a trans person: we have 3 very scary bills proposed (SB1674, HB1421, SB254) which stand to block - for adults - insurance coverage, bathroom access, and possibly even most transition care itself (not a ban, but still effectively one due to a whole slew of restrictions, including to telemed).

Crow and I had planned on moving to CT before the presidential election, but I needed to figure out an emergency timeline if a bill blocks access to my HRT and I can't find another local provider.

So, I made a spreadsheet of when emergencies could trigger and when I might need to stretch my T stash out while I flee Florida. Worst case: a bill immediately goes into law the day I pick up my next refill and I get denied. (Remember, testosterone is a controlled substance and it is a felony if I try to DIY.)

Every time I pick up my testosterone Rx, I can shift this emergency date further into the future. And if the bad bills fail, this emergency scenario goes away.

But looking at my closest "get the hell outta Dodge" date made me realize I need to step up on packing things I know can sit in storage for a while. Hence, all the bins.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

If you're in a state like Florida that is proposing to effectively ban your care, start planning *now* so you know when you might have to make some difficult decisions. Start researching other providers and what you'd need to do for access.

I'm sharing my thought process not to scare trans people, but to give a bit of a framework for this decision-making, be it moving, saving money to pay costs OOP, hopping providers, etc. My emergency dates are based on when my HRT runs out and (for now) doesn't reflect upon the bills' current movement.

I know I am privileged to be able to leave now with most of my things, and am using that to go ahead and make a safe haven in my new home for friends fleeing in less ideal scenarios who would need temporary housing.

Thanks to all my friends reaching out with support. Our safety next is strong enough to where hopefully we should just need a place to crash with 3 cats on the drive up.

Good luck, stay safe, fight as long as you can, and afford yourself all the grace you can muster.

#trans stuff #i have a financial safety net so don't worry about me #emergency move would be tough but we would manage

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visualskirt · 1 year

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You know, I've come to the realization that I probably wouldn't actually mind having a dick if it wasn't for the fact that mine ain't big.

Like, when I was growing up and still believed that I was a boy, I felt like a failure and hated myself and felt like a failure for having a below average dick!

From every single angle, I was constantly fed lines emphasizing how awful small dicks are and how to make a woman happy you need to be big! When my friends would brag, I would just feel that ball of self-hatred I was carrying around grow bigger and bigger every time the topic came up.

Then, I was introduced to the concept of dysphoria and it was a revelation! Finally a word for all of the suffering that has plagued my life for all I could remember! But what to do with that ball of hatred for my dick? Well, I guess it has to be dysphoria! Best to just slap that label on it and try to ignore it, after all that's what people online say is the best thing to do to manage dysphoria when you can't do anything else!

So I did! I researched for years about all the different things that you can have done on the operating table, fully convinced that the only way to rid myself of that ball of self-hatred was to just go all the way and have vaginoplasty because then I would at least "have something useful".

But, of course, life is never that simple. Operations cost money, even with the good health insurance I had at the time. 5,000 dollars for the out of pocket maximum, plus the cost of the therapy letters and the hair removal and the ability to survive while not having an active income stream or at least a greatly reduced one as short term disability only pays about 2/3's of your wages.

So just how in the hell am I supposed to save up five grand!?! The short answer is that I can't, have never been able to, and likely never will be able to. When I first started hormones, I worked as a cashier at a drug store. I'm currently a machine operator at a warehouse. I'm a working class, blue collar trans butch. Bottom surgery, as much as I desperately wanted it for so long, is not in the cards for me.

So where does that leave me?

After two years on hormones, my gender identity and presentation has shifted a lot. I've stopped forcing myself to try to be feminine, I've started dressing how I want, and I've stopped forcing myself to endure trying to meet a cis persons definition of what a trans person is.

Except in regards to my dick.

That I still haven't managed to shake, because of just how prevalent it is, especially within explicitly trans friendly spaces! Post after post after post of hung trans porn stars or text posts about how these dykes wanted to be stuffed full of girldick and how it'd stretch them out and fill them and all of that jazz.

Can't exactly stretch someone with a dick that's small and can't even get fully hard, now can you?

Trans women come equipped with the full range of sizes and I am begging you to please stop treating the huge girldick as a universal truth. While your intent is great and I love the effort, unless you also just give the rest of us a shout-out every once in a while, we're just going to end up forcing ourselves into debt and depression over an organ we could have easily learned to love.

TLDR: Women with small dicks need love too, damn it!

#small girldick #butch #transgender #trans woman #trans #lesbian #trans lesbian #trans dyke #ok to rb

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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 2 years

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¿Does anyone else ever get the crippling anxiety + depression thought that “this world isn’t made for people like me / people like us”?

Because....me right now.

The world isn’t made for autistic people. For ADHD people. For mentally ill people. For systems / plurality / multiplicity. For disabled people. For chronically ill people. For trans people (especially nonbinary/genderqueer/agender/bigender/genderfluid & anyone else’s “unusual”/valid gender that I missed) people. For aspec aligned (s-xuality/romantic orientation) people (ace, aro, grey, demi). For LGBT+ people in general, really.

Of which we are all of the above (mentally ill, disabled, chronically ill, autistic, ADHD, a system, trans enby, aspec, LGBT+), of course (/exasperated).

The world, as it stands, isn’t built to understand us the way we desperately desire to be understood.

We have some privileges. (Our body is white. Our ab-sers care enough about their reputation to not kick us out just yet so we aren't homeless. We have state health insurance. We have a job that pays money.) And even that’s not enough for this world to feel like a place we belong.

I can’t even imagine how much worse it is for BIPOC/melanated people or anyone from a prosecuted religion (Islam/Muslims, any who use head/hair coverings (I don't know all the terms for the different kinds but I know anyone who chooses to or feels like they should wear them gets unfairly discriminated against), Judaism/Jews).

It’s an f-ed up world we live in. A lot needs to change.

And sometimes it still feels like we'd be better off not alive (we don't wanna go from alive to d-ad....we just wanna not be alive sometimes) than trying to address even a fraction of it all.

But d-ad people can't fix anything. So we don't want that either.

So we feel stuck.

I don't have a revelation or resolution. Just a statement / feeling that might be relatable to others.

((I don't usually share, or talk much. But this felt important to share.))

((ok to reblog, but please don't repost or take credit))

~Kabiel

(he/they/etc., honestly so long as it's not she/her or it/its & is used in good faith I don't mind)

#emotions #feelings #disability #actually autistic #actually adhd #lgbt #ace #acearo #aro #demiromantic #nonbinary #enby #genderqueer #chronically ill #disabled

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pandascanpvpmoved · 4 years

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here are the current mcytblr candidates now including policies so they're all in one place <3

as last time if I need to correct anything lmk and the ballet for the finals are still open!!

rice2020

@adhddream + @krittzzinnit

1. Techno supremacy

2. Fundywastaken

3. No discrimination against furries

4. Dristasmp not dreamsmp

5. More George hate crimes

6. More apples

7. No straights

tubtoe2020

@tubbo-live + @oakskull

- EAT THE RICH,

- GAY PEOPLE,

- FUNDYWASTAKEN,

- MINECRAFT,

- ABOLISH THE NEUROTYPICAL CISHETS,

- PISS AND

- WILBUR SOOT

potato2020

@itsfundy + @fakenoblade

bigots get attacked by wild animals

say yes unless no

we will make Pnis Friday a national holiday

everyone gets a brick, what you do with it is up to you

if you vote, you get an extra hour in the ball pit

please dont pee in the ball pit please please please

baby you're a different breed

arson is legal <3

hate crimes against georgenotfound are legal

uhm.... cheesed to meet you?

soot2020

@wilbursootstan + @happysarcasm

1) Sleepy Bois Inc supremacy. family dynamics stay winning

2) trans mf rights!!

3) T U B B O A T !!!1!

4) pogchamp/pogger at least once a day

5) villains and chaos = pogchamp

6) shipping minors and content creators who are not ok with that will be punished by imprisonment, exile, or possible death.

7) encouraging people to reblog more from artists!! artist support!!!

worm2020

@wormweeb + @cometconnector

1.Observance of the daily holidays [mcyt of the day: x, x, x, x, x, x]

2. Daily airing of Dream Team grievances

3. Institutionalized cishetphobia

4. Accepting jewge as canon As an anarcho-capitalist party, we ask that you respect the NAP [non aggression pact/principle]

5. Exalt the national anthem (the esteemed “Blitz” - Parody of “Blank Space” (has swearing) by Technoblade

6. Stan Technoblade

muffins2020

@profile-not-found404 + @catboyhalo

1. Free baking classes for all, the first lesson will be on muffins, obviously!

2.Taxes have been abolished.

3.Free healthcare, education, therapy, and housing, each one comes with a complimentary gaming set up with Minecraft and among us.

4.It’s always pride month.

5.If you dislike someone you have a fight to the death in the middle of a giant pit while our comrades toss strawberries into the arena.

6.If someone is racist/homophobic/transphobic/ableist or generally an asshole, there is a public execution and we throw muffins at them.

7.Free hugs! :D

gay2020

@boohoocracker + @hey-katelym

1. no more dreamnotfound

2. everyone is required to read the schlattbur piss fic

3. catboys and catgirls and cat-etcs only

4. no more george simps

5.eradicate the nts and just live by nature and shit and help others

6.making mondays national el muchacho de los ojos tristes day

7.You are legally required to celebrate flat fuck Friday every week

crimes2020

@enraged-chihuahua + @toesuckler-but-spooky

lust

gluttony

greed

sloth

wrath

envy

pride

cookie2020

@dtvibez + @peskydice

Always respect those around!

Judge Free Zone!

Badboyhalo.

Violence is not tolerated…

Free Insurance!

Our Mascot is the Rabbit!

Cookies everynight before Bed.

pog2020

@sootblr + @innitblr

1. arson good

2. nothing bad will happen if you vote for us

3. gay rights

4. we do not bury dogs

5. we believe in socialist supremacy

6. no british rights

7. gay rights

peepo2020

@no-thoughtz + @bubbellpop

A peace treaty with MCYtwt.

A trade deal with MYCtiktok.

I will exile Woot and Immie for being too popular and cool.

I will abolish cringe culture.

Dental plan

Homestuck AU

fakier2020

@fundy-in-a-boat + @tubbo-in-a-boat

1. Stan editor Wilbur

2. Only funny people are allowed to post

3. Reblog art or perish

4. Arson is legal

5. Boats for everyone

6. 9

7. Gay rights

con2020

@anxiious-mcyt + @pog-juice

1) We will rob you.

2) Subscribe to Technoblade.

3) We will allow anyone and everyone to give us money! (No exclusions, we don’t do that here.)

4) We will rob GeorgeNotFound.

5) We will release an exclusive cover of Blitz, done by @pog-juice themself.

6) We were going to put a gay joke then remembered we are the gay jokes because we are very funny and also gay

7) You will be lied to, but we will have fun doing it.

kinnie2020

@wasaminx + @skeppiee

1.) free katanas

2.) One of those huge ass cages full of balls that they have at walmart

3.) No long posts

4.) no disrespect towards any CCS (including George)

5.) No disrespect to kinnies nor inappropriate questions

6.) little rules, arson is allowed

7.) Kill all men

gods2020

@f4nd0mz + @classyavocado789

-pikniks every few days!

-eating flesh is legal 8)

-spooky day will be 2 days

-we are built diffrent 8)

We arent like other campains we're diffrent

-we are also poggers

-we are going to beat you to death if you dont vote for us

-we endorse murder

- weekly sacrifices :)

catboy2020

@braveboyhalo + @thelullabyer12

1.) Gay

2.) Everyone gets a free catboy

3.) Sleepybois appreciation at least once a month (followed by calling Wilbur a petty bitch and Tommy a fetus with anger issues)

4.) positivity (ignore above parentheses)

5.) Catgirls. But only if you behave

6.) I will shut up about milfs

7.) Gay

moss2020

@dreamingheart + @tie-die-dumbass

1. everyone is to be treated with equal respect

2. moss

3. anarachy for the anarchists

4. more reblogs!!

5. we'd try to host mcytblr events!

6. free hot chocolate!!

7. be crime do gay

fuvk2020

@poggersinnit + @ehreneret

-everyone welcome, americans tolerated

-minx supremacy

-inniters shall not be bullied

-disrespectful georgewastaken shippers wanted dead or alive

-if you disrespect any loh contestants (ppl like fau//re and kb//bblez excluded) you can leave

-brits are allowed ig

-GAY RIGHTS, TRANS RIGHT

gold2020

@thedreamsmp + @octopus-defense-squad

1 - Octopus conservation.

2 - Eret and Niki appreciation.

3 - Drista.

4 - Chaos for all.

5 - Love for all.

6 - CaptainSparklez to 12 mil.

7 - Equal appreciation for artists AND authorsy

glow2020

@myppisaninnie + @sombraookami

MCYT Appreciation month is September, and each day we will appreciate a different cc

The LGBTQIA+ community gets arson rights

Donuts for all voters (of their choice)

Respect everyone, everyone is welcome in this community

We will make a “library” blog to bring attention to smaller creators

Tommy

The chaos can continue, but we will step in if it starts to get out of hand

quotes2020

@mcyt-quotes + @sosigshoney

WAP and Blitz mashup becomes our anthem

- monthly community events on my blog are promised

- freedom of speech is outlawed.

- freedom of association is outlawed.

- freedom of thought is outlawed.

- future elections are outlawed.

- reblogging artists’ work is heavily encouraged ^-^

grapefruit2020

@limelocked + @octosghost

- No more simping for Georgenotfound

- No rebellions

- Chaos

- Dreams name is banned, he shall be referred to as "Dristas brother"

- Raised taxes

- Once a day people are required to swear allegiance to the administration

- Focus on infrastructure and healthcare

netherite2020

@mcyt-apocalypse-au + @neptunelilies

make tommy & tubbo tuesday, techno thursday, wilbur wednesday and schlatt saturday a national holiday to appreciate some of our favourite creators

provide everyone with free hugs :D

provide a beacon of support for those that aren't feeling 100%

squash all racists, homophobes, terfs and maps

help all lgbtqia+ members feel comfortable and secure in the mcytblr community

provide bakeries and libraries for everyone. the bakeries, cafes will provide free snacks, free coffees, free cups of tea, free meals and great views of the surrounding areas. the libraries will provide free books and a quiet place to unwind from all the stress of the day

attempt to help with the stress of education and life in general

listen to everyone, no one will be ignored and we will try our best to make you as comfortable and happy as possible

encourage people to embrace their passions and hobbies, for example reading, writing and learning to play a musical instrument

all pronouns, sexualities and identities will be honoured

silverfish2020

@severely-nearsighted + @sleepypurplepandas

1)be gay, do crime

2)banish bigots

3)arson is hereby legal

4)those who ship minors or those uncomfortable being shipped will be shunned

5)screamy boy laugh rights

6)rebellion is only natural, we will try our best to work something out with the anarchist party if we win

7)moobloom/glow squid solidarity

best2020 + coalition w @cinnabunthefilthyinniter

@wooteena + @imgns

K.A.M ESPECIALLY DREAM AND GEORGE

thembos will get a pension

we will also have a paid reward if you kill georgenotfoun /hj

REPLACE DREAM WITH RANBOO AND TECHNONLADE

fundywastaken

eat hot chip

lie

be talented and funny and cool

#pntgtz.txt #mcytblr election #this took SOOOOO long to find all of them auh #but they're here

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nevermindirah · 3 years

Note

I am but a sad little trans man who absolutely wants to know your thoughts on immortals capabilities to transition because I have thoughts and they make my depressed little trans heart hurt because how in the world could they transition if their bodies heal everything?

Hi! Sending you hugs because I've been struggling with the exact same thoughts! I wrote this lil meta last month but I don't like it and my brain keeps interrupting things like my job and trips to the grocery store to get me working on this puzzle.

From what we see in the movie, our elderly friends have regular-human healing, just faster and MORE, plus magic. We have canon evidence of how this works with wounds/injuries and can infer from there about how their immortality would handle infections, genetic/physiological/autoimmune/etc disorders, malnutrition/dehydration/etc, mental illnesses, and dental stuff, as well as things that bodies do that aren't necessarily bad but often need medical care — like pregnancy and gender transition. (I’m not a medical professional, just a nerd who loves a good Wikipedia rabbithole.)

Let's start with an easy one. Nile's hand healing after she stuck it in the fire is just a lickety-split version of what would happen to a regular human with a small skin wound: clotting, inflammation, rebuilding, healed.

When Nile yeets herself and pharma bro out the window of the topmost tower, we see the same thing happen again but bigger, plus we see several of her bones pop themselves back into place, and presumably any blood vessels that got torn up magically correct themselves under her skin. Humans have been surviving injuries like major bone fractures for a very long time but a bone that heals without medical intervention to realign the fractured pieces might heal at a new angle, meaning it doesn't work as well anymore, and it might cause damage to surrounding organs/tissues and leave a lot of scar tissue or a chronic wound. But Nile only needs Booker and Nicky keeping her upright for barely a minute and then she's walking around on her own just fine.

A large wound that breaks deeply through the skin, like Nile's sliced throat or Booker's exploded abdomen, can be survivable for a regular human if it doesn't irreparably damage critical organs and if you can get medical attention before you bleed out, but even with modern medical intervention the results are rough. Jay and Dizzy aren't wrong for being deeply weirded out by Nile's flawless neck: even with the best plastic surgeons in the world on the case, closing up a wound like that will leave scar tissue that affects both appearance and function.

So, we've got immortality magic moving bones back into place, restarting stopped hearts and lungs and brains, rebuilding major structures like arteries and intestines, healing up wounds without scar tissue, pushing out bullets, and otherwise handwaving the big stuff. But it's not a magic wand, it’s a process, and bigger wounds take longer. It's like these people's mitochondria have little gnomes in there with schematics to rebuild their bodies to factory default.

From how these bodies handle wounds we can infer that they'd handle pathogens / infectious diseases the same way: inflammation, white blood cells attack, byebye plague see you never. And if these bodies are resetting bones and rebuilding organs, they're probably also correcting genetic disorders and shifting around physiological problems like bone spurs. So let's keep on inferring.

What if, instead of every death erasing hormone replacement therapy and gender-affirming surgery and leaving a trans immortal detransitioned over and fucking over again, what if the magic that governs immortality considers dysphoria-causing body parts just like any other wound to heal?

What if Booker is a trans man, and he's got that sweet muscle mass and that height and that beard that comes all the way up his cheeks because he's been on the wonder drug that is testosterone for over 200 years? What if immortality was all "we see you've been hung from the neck until dead, and your eyes have been pecked out, and also you have all these hormones that turn your body into a shape that makes you miserable — we're gonna fix all that" and then regenerated his pecked-out eyeballs and unsnapped his neck and undid the results of months of insufficient food AND ALSO started pumping him with the fantasy version of HRT so his chest started to reduce and his fat redistributed itself and his beard started coming in?

Who's to say that's not how it works?

All my dysphoria is social — I'm fine with my body for the most part and I CANNOT STAND when people assume things about my gender, because of my body or for any other reason. We see pretty clearly with Booker that mental illness isn't magically healed the way physical injuries are, and I think that's because the causes of mental illness are a combination of physiology/chemistry stuff and things like our beliefs about ourselves and the world, our experiences of trauma, and our experiences of getting our needs met or not. If I were immortal I could maybe break up with my SSRI, but it wouldn't stop me from getting misgendered — I'd still have to find a way to cope with the ongoing trauma of that. Having to navigate hundreds of cultures' ideas about gender when my gender is "uhhhhh" sounds like absolute hell for me, no thank you, do not want.

But for my fellow trans people whose dysphoria is primarily body-related, and for my social-dysphoria pals whose gender is something nearly every human being would recognize and all they need is to pass, how about let's make an executive decision that immortality includes HRT for anybody who needs it, with no psych eval or begging your insurance company or poking yourself with needles, and just like with wound healing it's like regular HRT but faster and more. HRT so powerful and so magical that it gives you the best possible version of the results you want and none of the results you don't. If I had the option to go on HRT for just like one or two changes but not the whole battery of things I would fucking do that, and if I were to join our elderly friends, maybe I could.

This might be easier on transmasc immortals than transfeminine ones, because testosterone's effects are basically impossible to reverse. But also you can't just keep waking back up after repeatedly drowning for 500 years, so fuck it. We're making an executive decision here.

Estrogen that grows your breasts and softens your dick but doesn't lessen your ability to orgasm. Immortality magic that makes your beard go away and maybe shrinks your height an inch or two or six. Maybe Quynh is trans and one time a few thousand years ago she got injured in battle worse than Booker's grenaded belly and she woke up an hour later with a vulva and a uterus and now her body is just like that. Factory reset.

I subscribe to the "God made wheat and grapes but not bread and wine so humans could share in the act of creation" model of transness and I personally feel very weird about the idea of immortality magically giving a trans immortal cisnormative genitals the same way it resets bones. There's no one right way to have a pussy or a dick, you know? Maybe Quynh woke up from a catastrophic gut wound in like 800 BCE with a constructed vagina rivaling the best our modern money can buy, without a uterus but with a clit that's just as magical as anybody else's.

I've been thinking about writing a Book of Nile fic with trans man Booker, which is why the two of them are most of my examples here. It would include porn, because apparently I can't write more than 1500 words about them without writing porn, so I need to think more about what's going to feel good for me and other trans people who might read it and won't accidentally facilitate cis people objectifying us. Like, I've thought in a lot of detail about what a clit enlarged by that many centuries of testosterone might look and feel like, and that specific experience is not mine so I'm treading carefully.

Cis people are welcome to reblog this! Fellow trans folks are welcome to join me in the act of creation on this post ;)

#trans things #fandom friends #tog meta #tog #book of nile #fic ideas #transphobia #dysphoria #gore #long post #mine

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