#and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

comicaurora · 2 years

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Do you find questions about lroe and logistics annoying? How do you draw the line between 'thinking the story is cool and wanting to know how something works' and 'trying to poke holes in the story to feel better about themselves'?

TLDR: It doesn't annoy me, but I do ignore anything that I don't think would produce an interesting answer. There is no line, but I do have thoughts.

I think a lot of media analysis and criticism centers on an invisible variable that is often overlooked, and that variable is "what standard are we holding this story to?"

Media criticism often described as "bad faith" tends to hold stories to standards like real-world physics, shot continuity or other small-scale and potentially irrelevant metrics that have nothing to do with the story's plot, morals, stated goals or overall themes, and will instead - as you put it - poke holes in the story in an apparent attempt to feel smart or score points. This criticism isn't asking how well the story is succeeding at telling itself, it's finding things to complain about by whatever metric is most convenient for that.

This isn't limited to media criticism. In fact, it's the same underlying structure behind almost all forms of bullying. There is nobody perfect enough to be completely uncriticizable, and there is no story that cannot be picked apart with an uncharitable enough angle. If your goal is to pick something or someone apart, you can always find a reason. And a story that's perfect from one angle can be shredded a hundred different ways from a million other angles.

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but one difficulty people encounter when writing any form of representation, for instance, is the existence of opposing stereotypes. If you write a female lead who's demure and gentle, she's playing to a feminine stereotype - that's a criticism point. If you write one who's brash and strong, oopsies, you're tacitly indicating that she can't be a protagonist without ditching her traditionally feminine qualities, thus indicating those qualities are bad! Criticism point. No matter what kind of character you write, you can be criticized for the stereotypes they fulfill and criticized for the stereotypes they defy. There is no way to write a character who cannot be criticized, and it's especially visible for characters in heavily stereotyped demographics.

And there are forms of representation or allegory that work for one thing but are terrible if interpreted as something else, once again producing angles of attack that you can be criticized for. Suppose you have a character whose arc is fundamentally about learning to accept themselves for who they are rather than changing themselves for the approval of others. This can be read as a positive and self-affirming arc for all sorts of identities, but if you reach, you can also read this as advocating against things like transitioning. And on the flip side, if you tell a story about someone changing themselves to be happy, it can be read as a toxic message for people struggling to accept themselves for who they are.

Because of this, it is impossible to write any sort of story that cannot be criticized, and it is unhelpful to act like a story that can be criticized is automatically in some way deficient or morally bad. If you find the right angle, anything can be criticized or deemed problematic in completely legitimate ways. Not enough of this, too much of that, what we got wasn't what I wanted, etc etc.

"Can I find a reason to criticize this" is an unhelpful and often unpleasant mindset. The answer is always yes, but it has the twofold impact of making the permacritic rather unpleasant to talk to (constant negative reinforcement will do that, see the "bullying" thing above) and making it very difficult for the permacritic to actually engage with media in any sort of helpful way. This school of criticism does not ask "what standard should I be holding this media to?" Without controlling for that variable, the criticism is just a lot of complaining.

When criticizing, I think it's very important to maintain focus on that question of the standard you're holding the story to, and the underlying corollary, "what is the story trying to be - and is it succeeding?"

I've seen media criticism that boils down to "this is not the story I wanted it to be." Valuable information, but not a helpful criticism to level at the story itself. Rather than taking the story at face value and judging it on its own merits, it holds it to the standard of a different story. This is where you get things like fix-it fanfics where people change the story to fit what they wanted to see. While I don't have a personal objection to this - fans can do what they want, and if someone wants to see a specific story I think one of the best things they can do is realize that and make that story - I think I'd personally steer clear of it. One of the joys of consuming media is seeing stories I'd never personally be able to think of, and holding all those stories to the standards of my own limited creativity feels like a good way to guarantee that I never grow and improve as a writer.

But if we hold a story to the standards of itself, there's still plenty of criticism to be had! And this is, I think, where valuable criticism lies. If we can figure out what a story is trying to do, we can determine how well it succeeds or fails. If a character is supposed to be overwhelmed with grief but the performance feels shallow and poor, that gives us a solid point of criticism - the story is failing to convince us of its own point, "this character is sad." If a fight scene is supposed to be frenetic and brutal but the editing is so frantic that we can't make out any of the coherent movement, the cinematography is disrupting our ability to buy that this is a serious, perilous fight scene.

This is why I think authorial intent is a very valuable factor in criticism. It isn't the only factor, but it gives us something very solid to measure against. When we're asking "what is the story trying to do?" and we find a comprehensive, clear answer to that, we can follow up with our subjective judgment "how well did it do that, and how and why?" This is the kind of vivisection that tells us how the story is really put together and lets us learn from it.

Without the question "what is the story trying to do," all our criticism is completely unhelpful from an artistic perspective. Does it matter that a scene doesn't conform to the laws of physics? Only if the scene is supposed to conform to the laws of physics! Does it matter if a background prop moves between takes? Only if the prop is important! What lessons can we learn from scattershot complaining that aims to find something wrong with every single frame of a story? We learn nothing, because even if every single "error" was "fixed", this school of criticism could find the exact same number of problems on a second pass. Any artist could tell you that perfection is unattainable and a work can always be criticized. The only people who think "I found something wrong" is an exceptionally clever observation are generally not artists, and typically don't volunteer helpful feedback for artists.

So to get back to your actual question, I think it's pretty easy to tell when someone is approaching your story from a place of affection or curiosity and when someone's just looking to score points off you or take out their personal frustrations on the closest target. There's no hard line because the difference isn't in the critical process, it's in the underlying approach. A bad-faith criticism can stumble on a solid point once in a while, but the critic still won't gain or give anything valuable from the experience. They're just racking up points.

#asks #behind the curtain

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b1acksh33p999 · 8 months

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September 2023 🔮✨

🔥Aries: This month is going to put a focus on matters of the heart! With September starting out with the transit moon conjunct with your natal Sun, it’s likely you will find yourself more focused on what really matters to you starting day one. By the Harvest moon on the 29th in Aries, this will prove to be the completion of the cycle started from the beginning of this month. Many Aries will be putting work in to achieve the goals they really care about this month! My advice to you is to allow your emotions a voice when formulating what exactly you want to spend your energy trying to accomplish this month, and let your passion speak for you!

⛰️Taurus: This month is going to push you to break out of your comfort zone! With transit Jupiter starting the month in a critical conjunction to your natal Sun on the 1st, and Jupiter starting its retrograde on the 4th; get ready for a month that’s going to push you to your limit with change. The general theme is simple: are you who you really say you are? With the possibility of surprises, and/or misunderstandings around every corner, most Taurus’s will feel called to look inwardly and be sure that they are living as their most authentic self. This introspection is a blessing in disguise. The energy this month is calling for you to rise up to the occasion of arriving as your highest self, unapologetically. My advice this month is to take any confrontation, misunderstandings, or challenges as an opportunity to learn more about yourself; to understand you are not someone’s opinion of you, and stand strong in your beliefs. You have always known yourself better than anyone else, don’t let clouded judgment or controversy change that! Those who are meant to appreciate you, will take the time to get to know you. Love every part of who you are!

🌬️Gemini: This month will have you feeling left out socially, and caught up in the details surrounding every aspect of your current lifestyle. With Mercury in Virgo transiting retrograde until the 15th, I recommend double checking all details, especially when in reference to documentation, work, health, and scheduling. After Mercury ends her retrograde, the energy shift will help support a more natural approach for Gemini energy without so much misunderstanding, or delay. Many Gemini’s may find themselves reconnecting with an old friend, or family member. Any newfound connections nourished during this month are meant to help you understand what you find difficult to confront about either your past, or personal behavior. Many Gemini’s may also receive some level of closure on a personal matter this month. My advice to you is to listen to your instincts, and let your heart guide you. The universe is attempting to give you a second chance at something you lost, don’t let it slip away.

🌊Cancer: This month is going to have you feeling lucky, and optimistic! With Vesta's shift from Gemini to Cancer, you will naturally feel more comforting and caring from the inside, out! Emotionally, you will feel more generous and open to change. This shift in mindset will bring blessings that seem to drop from the sky for you! Some Cancers may even find luck comes in the form of financial uplift! If properly aligned these opportunities will seem to naturally fall from the heavens, which will make you feel like you’ve finally made it through the war and found peace. The truth is that the war isn’t over yet Cancer- there is still work to be done, and by the harvest moon on the 29th you will recognize the progress you made while being able to objectively see where you are headed with a much more peaceful yet practical outlook. Enjoy the boost in positivity this month, and keep up the good work!

🔥Leo: This month is going to have you reflecting on how much you’ve changed this summer! With Venus retrograde in Leo starting to move directly on the 4th, the first half of the month will be reflecting on your summer, and the experiences you had. All Leo’s have made some kind of big change this summer whether it be in their appearance, mental health, career, communication, or in their love lives. With these changes will come the pride and joy of knowing what they worked hard to accomplish! If properly aligned, most of this month will feel nostalgic! Finally a time to rejoice in what you’ve manifested coming into fruition. Enjoy this victory while you can, for there is another test hidden in the shadows of the harvest moon September 29th; checking in on how much focus you put on the choices of others. Don’t forget what Venus Rx taught you- this life experience you wake up to daily is your personal narrative, which is the only thing that you can really control. Instead of getting upset- look for loyalty in the naturalness of free will in others’ actions, and surround yourself with your people. You know what you bring to the table, now it’s time to embrace the power in being an independent leader. Lead by example.

⛰️Virgo: This month will have you triple checking everything, and still finding misunderstandings or delays. With Mercury in Virgo retrograding until the 15th, this troubling energy will not last long! However, my advice to you this month is to make sure you have all details squared away when it comes to anything related to business, career, legal, or health care. With Jupiter in a favorable aspect to your natal Sun, the ability to maximize your income is not only apparent but the universe is pushing to bless you with prosperity and financial expansion. Make sure you’re putting the work in to get your desired outcome, and don’t be lazy!

🌬️Libra: Get ready to stand out for all the best reasons! This month’s trends include happiness within the self, paired with intuitive actions that align with the best self. Many Libra’s may notice an increase in exercise and behaviors that improve their own lives. Practical choices, finally living as the self they manifested for years. Receiving karmic debt from your previous steady payment. Some surprises may be in store- drama, past trying to come back in to knock you down, or shake your newfound strength. My advice to you this month is to stand strong in who you’ve evolved into, and if it’s authentic then nothing can shake your foundation in the long run. Shine bright unapologetically, with or without support of public opinion.

🌊Scorpio: This month may have you feeling more sensitive, and in touch with your emotions than ever before! With the Neptune opposition to the transit Sun falling on September 19th, joined with the moon and Ceres in conjunction with your natal Sun: you will be gifted with impeccable foresight combined with heightened empathy. This combination will help guide you to make decisions this month based on feeling more than fact, however with the universal trends for Scorpio this month that’s exactly what you need to get down to the core of what you really want to manifest right now. My advice to you this month is put any excess energy back into the relationships that really matter to you, this will not only help deepen the bonds in your life but it will help guide you to your greater purpose. Keep searching for the answers, you’re closer now than you’ve ever been to the life you always wanted!

🔥Sagittarius: This month is going to force you to confront some of your past demons, and make the changes necessary to take back control! In some way all Sagittarius’s may find themselves looking back on the past year and realizing how much they have invested in habits, or things that serve a purpose; yet aren't serving your highest self. This hiccup is what has been holding them back, and this month is going to press you to do something about it! Avoidance would be the easiest way of self sabotage for Sagittarius this September, specifically in regards to their finances. Don’t let pessimism stop you from getting back on track! The universe is willing to bless hard work, and growth associated with what areas you’re investing in this month. With Jupiter going retrograde in a hard quincunx aspect to your natal sun this will cause tension when you try to continue past forms of how you’d make money or build security. In order to maximize and unlock the ability to be truly financially prosperous during this period, you must learn to adapt an entirely new, more fixed way of looking at security. Get ready to learn a lot of valuable information this month, and keep your eye on the prize!

⛰️Capricorn: This month’s trends will require you to take charge of a personal situation. This can present in various ways but, for each Capricorn, this will push you into action in some manner, forcing change from the inside out. A major focus is on Sep 30th when Mercury, Mars, Uranus, and Juno all meet in 22°, which is ruled by Capricorn; whatever is released on this day, has to be let go to leave room for the debt that will soon be repaid. My advice to you is to have faith in the new and different, and release the ways you used to deal with things. That old way of managing no longer serves you. It’s time to change your ways.

🌬️Aquarius: This month's trends will have you working on adaptability, and change. Being different is easy and natural for you, however jumping outside of your comfort zone can have a direct effect on your mood and level of interest in being involved. This month will call for you to work on that! With Uranus in retrograde, and starting the month in an Aquarius ruled degree- it’s important to tackle your fixed mentality, and emotional involvement in all areas of life. Be wary of gossip this month- what you say will come back to haunt you so make sure you’re thinking before you speak, and practicing what you preach!

🌊Pisces: This month has all of the potential to be one of the best months in the year for you Pisces! Pay close attention to dreams, and conversations you have especially at the beginning of the month; there’s a reason for everything happening exactly as it is. Pay close attention to what happens on the 19th, and who you come into contact with added to intuitively picking up on your personal trends. And, use the harvest moon on the 29th to reflect back on what you learned about yourself this month. The universe is trying to give you the opportunity to flourish in a way that’s long term sustainable. This may present in the form of a financial boost, a romantic partner, or possible travel opportunities. First, you must rid yourself of something that no longer serves you. Your mentality is the only true limitation you have- once you allow the loss you’ve experienced to ignite your faith in what’s to come instead of limiting what you believe you’ll receive, then truly anything can be manifested at this time for you. You will get the life you feel you are worthy of receiving. Pay close attention to your reactions to obstacles. These hiccups might be exactly what’s holding your energy back. You’ve survived the worst thing that’s ever happened to you before; nothing can limit you more than giving up.

#astrology #September #aries #Taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #Virgo #libra #Scorpio #sagittarius #Capricorn #aquarius #pisces #spirtualawakening #good vibes

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adhd-adept · 3 years

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I have self diagnosed adhd and i was wondering if you could provide some advice regarding reading. I used to be able to just pick up a book and read when i was younger, but now that I'm older it's a bit difficult to just pick up a book and read for the sake of reading. I love reading, but i just can't seem to motivate myself to.

Any advice? I'd really love to get back into reading, but I'm trying to find a way to do it easier

Hello! I’m sorry this took me so long to answer, I’ve been mostly off Tumblr for a little while. I saw this some time ago at 3AM and thought “this deserves a more coherent response than I can give right now” and then forgot that this blog existed for several days.

That said, I absolutely have some advice for reading! I was a big reader as a kid, too, and I’ve recently had to re-discover reading after a long gap in any time spent sitting down with an honest-to-goodness book. There are a number of things you might consider!

DISTRACTIONS

First and foremost, recognize the reason it is difficult to read! For me, it is because reading isn’t the most interesting thing available. That doesn’t mean I don’t love reading! If I can manage to sit down and read a book, it is immensely satisfying - but it’s the satisfaction of the effort you put into something paying off. My favorite hobbies - drawing, writing, reading - are my favorite because of that sense of accomplishment that they give me.

I love the feeling of holding a book and watching my bookmark move through the pages each time I set it down. However, it doesn’t give me the same instant gratification of reading wikipedia, or tvtropes, or scrolling Tumblr, or checking notifications on social media; even when I am unsatisfied, or even frustrated, with the internet, it can be very hard to put down. I know that people will tell you all the time “You need to put your phone down more!!” It gets old. But they have a point. What people don’t tell you is how to do that.

For me, that tends to be about making it inconvenient for myself to get online, or do whatever is distracting me. This doesn’t necessarily mean making it completely unavailable. The distraction just needs to be less available than the task I want to do. I am the kind of person who gets online out of muscle memory, and then gets stuck there. Thus, many of my tricks rely on disrupting the muscle memory that lets you pick up distractions. I will put my laptop charger in another room, so that my screen time is limited to its battery life. I might tie a string around my laptop, or tape it closed, so when I go to open it I will be reminded “Oh yeah, I don’t want to do this right now.” I will occasionally rearrange the apps on my phone, so when I try to open Instagram and end up with the weather app instead, the thought of “wait, how did i get here” will snap me out of the thoughtless habits that led me to pick up my phone in the first place. I’ve even gone so far as to tape my phone to the ceiling. Whatever works.

If the weather permits, I might also walk a little ways down the block and find somewhere to sit and read. This can come with its own distractions, but it gets me away from my laptop, and I get a tiny bit more exercise and sunshine than I would have otherwise! This depends, of course, on whether you have transportation and whether you feel safe. But getting yourself out of the house can be a great way to get away from the things that would otherwise draw you away from reading. If you have a local cafe or library that permits you to sit and stay, those are also great options! I will bring my phone when I leave the house, but I might put it at the bottom of my bag, or put a bit of scotch tape over the power button, so that I have my phone in case of emergency but it’s just slightly inconvenient to get to without thinking about it.

It may not be the internet distracting you. But whatever the distraction is, it doesn’t need to be less compelling than reading. It just needs to be less readily available than your book is!

ENTHUSIASM

Another thing that prevents me from reading is that it often doesn’t have the same sense of urgency that other tasks might, whether that urgency is real or not. Give yourself a time limit! I may own books I haven’t read yet, but I will get to a book sooner if I have borrowed it from the library, because I know there is a deadline to return it!

You can also get other people involved. If you have a friend who wants to read the same book, commit to a chapter or two a week and then call to discuss it.

Or, if you have a friend who would be interested, and you are comfortable with your reading voice, you could read to someone! It might feel weird to offer, but you’d be surprised how many people really do enjoy being read to. If you both have time in your schedules, you could try to set up a regular call to get through a few chapters at a time.

Generally, having a friend who likes the book is great for maintaining enthusiasm, even if they’re not reading it with you - I get to books faster if someone with similar taste says “This is one of my favorites! You would love it!” If you have a friend who has read the book you plan on reading, announce to them that you intend on reading it. Their enthusiasm might help you feel more compelled to read it, and there’s a good chance that if you don’t sit down and read it, they will remind you by asking “Have you read it yet? What do you think?” the next time you talk to them.

PREPARATION

Another great way to make reading easier is to set up a reading space beforehand. It’s one thing to pick up a book and say “I’ve been meaning to read this.” It’s another thing to put on some pajama pants, make a cup of tea, and curl a soft blanket around your shoulders before you settle down to read. For one thing, it’s just nice. But more importantly, it can function as a signal that tells your brain “it is Reading Time now. We are in the Reading Zone.”

Do you ever watch a TV show or listen to a podcast, and you let the theme song play on the first episode, and then skip it for the rest? Even if I’ve watched a show before, I will play the theme song on the first episode I watch that day. It’s the same principle - it serves as a transition, an intro that says “this is where I am now, and this is what I’m doing.” Give yourself an intro for reading! Have a certain spot that you like to sit when you read. Have a certain snack you eat beforehand.

I have all kinds of tasks with little “rituals” before them that help me focus on that task, or certain items that I interact with which I associate with it. I call them “declarations of intent,” and once I’ve made a declaration it’s easier to commit to it. Sometimes that means simply saying out loud, “I am going to do the laundry now.” Sometimes it means I wear a certain shirt if I’m planning to go for a walk that day, or drink from a certain mug at breakfast if I want to get some homework done. I have a specific hat that I put on when I want to write a certain character. Try to find something you can do to act as a cue that says “When I do this, then I will read a book.” Because of this, it can help to really lean into whatever the “aesthetic” of reading is, in your mind. Embrace a reading atmosphere!

It may also help to recognize that reading is something you can work your way up to! There is no shame in being out of practice with a hobby. I took my reading proficiency for granted for a long time because it was just a part of my life. It may help to think of reading as a skill! Start with something smaller and work your way up. Pick up a book of short stories or folktales before you tackle that six-book series you’ve heard good things about! Set achievable goals for yourself when you’re setting out. An early success can make a huge difference to morale, and it’s much better to start “too easy” and accomplish something than to jump in at the deep end and be frustrated by an early setback.

FORGIVENESS

On the topic of working your way up to things, I would like to say a word about mindset. It is easy to feel self-critical about things. Things that you think should come more easily to you. Things that you feel like you have no reason not to be able to do. One of the biggest things I’ve done for my ADHD is recognizing that there is always a reason why I behave a certain way. Accepting that allows me to actually address my struggles, rather than just feeling ashamed of them. I’ve had to accept that I won’t always do things that I set out to do the way I set out to do them.

I bring this up because not all of my advice here may work for you. In fact, some of it doesn’t work for me every time - a technique may work once, but I might fail to make a regular habit of it. I may make a regular habit of something, only to have it become less effective as the novelty of it, or my enthusiasm for it, wears off. I may eventually talk myself out of implementing an effective strategy because there is some part of it that I find unpleasant; or an intentional unpleasantness I once found motivating may eventually become intolerable.

That’s okay. I’m telling you now, it’s okay if that happens. It’s okay if the first method you try doesn’t work. Don’t set yourself up to feel frustrated. If you become frustrated, take a step back. If you borrow a library book and you still haven’t read it by the due date, just give it back. If you don’t actually enjoy the first book you pick up, put it down and try a different one. If you feel badly about not reading something your friend wants you to read, be honest and tell them you have a hard time sitting down, and that you don’t want to disappoint them if they keep asking, but that you will let them know once you have started it!

It can be easy to convince myself that feeling badly about something means it’s important to me, and that maybe if I feel bad about not doing something, it motivate me to do it. There is a balance between making commitments, and not committing to anything that is just going to distress me. Sometimes there is a benefit to a sense of pressure, but I have to recognize when the pressure I create turns into frustration. That’s a fine line to walk! For all I speak of inconveniencing yourself, or holding yourself accountable, your strategies should ultimately feel satisfying, and show results fairly quickly! You may not see immediate results, but if it has been several days and your strategy isn’t working out, change tactics! And the moment you feel apologetic or ashamed about the thing you are trying to do, drop that strategy. Again, this can be easier said than done, but it is so worthwhile to learn how to allow yourself to “give up” on things that aren’t actually helping you, without feeling like you’re giving up entirely.

You want to get back into reading again because you want to enjoy reading again. If you set it up to feel like homework, or a chore, or an obligation, you may make it more difficult for yourself! Getting back into reading is about focusing on what you love about reading.

And hey, I’m always happy to help! I do only check Tumblr every couple weeks right now, but I’ll do what I can to be supportive. If you’ve tried these suggestions and they don’t work out, no worries! Everyone is different, and it’s no insult to me if things that work for me don’t work for you. But feel free to reach out again, let me know anything you have learned about how you function best in the meantime, and we can reevaluate your strategies!

I hope that helps! Happy reading!

#thanks for asking!!#nezjazz #let me know how this works out #a lot of the advice i have for reading is advice i have for Doing Tasks With ADHD in general to be honest #i use the same tricks i use to get myself to read sometimes to get myself to do things like wash dishes #it's about making yourself more interested in what you want yourself to do #and making it easier to do the important things relative to the ease of doing the less important things #i will just straight up delete apps off my phone if i spend too much time on them #most of the time i dont miss them #and tumblr i can access from my laptop it's just slightly more steps to actually log in and type in my password #(i ONLY use tumblr on incognito mode so it doesnt save my login and i have to actually enter my password every time)#(that way i know that if i actually take the steps to log on it's because i WANT to)#(because something about doing that is worth it to me)#(i did that today to come and answer this question lol)#(but that's also why it's taken me so long.)#(do let me know if you have any other questions! i'll be back eventually to help as best i can!)#(and i love feedback)#(if you discover something that works better for yourself let me know that too so i can share with everyone!)

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beautheexpositor · 5 years

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My Nerdy Best friends

I wrote an essay for one of my writing classes on something that changed my life, and for me it was about critical role. Here is an abridged version, because I feel like it could resonate or help a lot of people struggling how I have.

When everything is dark, sometimes it’s hard to find a light. For me, the light came from a very unexpected and seemingly trivial place, the show Critical Role. Now, it may seem like just a silly show where “a bunch of nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons,” but for me and so many other people, it has been a life saving experience (Mercer). It entered my life at just the right time, and helped my brother and me more than we could have ever imagined.

To understand my position at a life changing point, it’s also important to know that my brother, Nate, is the person who introduced me to Critical Role. My brother is 6 years older than me, an absolute dork, a kind and loving person, and severely agoraphobic. Over six years ago, he got in a serious car accident on his way to move into college that stopped him in his tracks. He had always had anxiety, but the accident left him more afraid than before. He stopped driving, which eventually turned into him stopping going out, which eventually turned into him not even stepping foot into the dangerous world. His only way of communication with others for the last six years has been video games, social media, chat rooms, and Twitch streams. As his anxiety got worse, it was harder for him to survive. Aside from the friends he had made online, he had nothing, and felt like a failure. Getting better seemed out of the question for a long time, and there were many times when we worried we’d lose him. Him finding Critical Role helped him find new friends, many of whom understood his situation more than the friends he’d had before. Some even started to come over and spend time with him. He got so excited about it, and spread the word to me.

Around six months ago, I got out of the second of back to back long term relationships. While this relationship had been overall healthy, the one before it was not. My ex girlfriend was emotionally manipulative and very controlling, and she had taken a lot from me. She stomped out any ounce of self expression I had, so long as it didn't fit her image of what her S/O should be. I stopped drawing, watching cartoons, playing Dungeons and Dragons, and anything else that she teased or mocked me for. Starting my next relationship immediately after one that damaged me so heavily didn’t allow me time to grow or readjust to who I was, so I continued the unhealthy mindset of living fully for another person. During my second relationship, my new girlfriend and my brother both attempted to get me back into the things I used to love, but it was a difficult transition to make when I didn’t know who I was. It took a long time for any of it to seem possible, and that all started with watching and listening to shows again. When the second break up happened, I felt shattered and empty. Unsure how I was going to put the pieces of myself together again, I reached out to my family and the friends I still had, and I dove myself back into the world of fantasy and whimsy that I had spent too long avoiding.

I was alone in an all new city, with most of my old friends many miles away. I was recovering from a pretty serious and life threatening disease, worrying about the bills and repercussions, and unable to talk to the person I had kept by my side for so long. On days when I couldn’t move, or days when I had nothing to do, escapism was the only way I knew how to deal with the depression and anxiety I was feeling. Without escapism, I only had my thoughts- and those thoughts were telling me I shouldn't even be alive. To silence those thoughts on the bad days, I started watching campaign one on top of my weekly episodes with the Mighty Nein. I started posting about it on social media, and even started drawing again. It allowed me to meet new people, and brought my closer to my brother than I had been in over five years.

What started as escapism became genuine passion for something. Passion for drawing, cosplay, passion for gaming and writing. When I would have days where I felt hopeless, and considered the darkest possibilities for the first time in years, I would turn on episodes, or interviews with the cast. It made me feel surrounded by friends, even if I had never met them. The theme song in the new introduction opens up with the line “The adventure begins, we were always beside you. Your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you,” and those lines really resonated with me (Riegel Bailey et al). These people may not know me, but they are my friends. They saved me on multiple occasions from sleepless nights, or days alone in bed with my pain- whether those be physical or emotional. Not only that, but they also allowed me to meet new people. A group of wonderful fans and supporters called the Critters. Never in my life have I been in a group as supportive and enthusiastic to reach out and help others than the critters. Through this show, I got a new group of friends to play Tabletop Games with in Chicago. Through this show, I’ve met groups of cosplayers to go to conventions with and take photos with. Through this show, I’ve met fellow artists who have encouraged me to keep drawing, even if I felt behind. Through this show, I’ve rekindled a relationship with my brother after years of feeling somewhat estranged. Through this show, I've found a family. Later on, it would even be a key factor in Nate going to get help and conquer his agoraphobia.

The things that change our lives can come in many forms. They can appear in the form of a person, a song, a moment, an opportunity, or something totally and completely unexpected. For me, it was Critical Role. If this show hadn’t entered my life, I’m not sure where I would be. Quite honestly, I’m not even sure I’d be alive. Certainly, I wouldn’t being drawing, interacting, writing, and cosplaying again. Our own identity is so important, and I lost that completely because of the circumstances I fell into. Critical Role gave me hope. It gave me a place to go, and a way to hone my creativity and passion. And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve met hundreds of critters who share similar stories, whose lives were changed greatly because of those 8 nerdy voice actors. It may seem trivial or insignificant to those who don’t understand, but without it I wouldn’t be the person I am. My brother wouldn’t have sought out help, I would have never gotten close to him again, I wouldn’t have had a creative outlet, I wouldn’t have started playing D&D again. This show has allowed me to be myself again; that’s about as life changing as it gets.

TLDR: After an unhealthy, manipulative relationship I lost a lot of my identity. My brother was also going through very tough shit, including severe agoraphobia. He found and introduced me to critical role right before I went through another huge breakup and the beginnings of recovery from many severe physical illnesses. The show saved me, and helped me find new friends and passions that have gotten me back into the things I loved before everything happened. The show kept me alive, and the amazing other people who enjoy it helped me find friends and believe in myself. Thanks Critical Role, and the wonderful other people who enjoy it.

If you're struggling through any of the things I mentioned, or anything at all- whether that be money, depression, anxiety, lack of creativity, abuse, sexuality or gender identity, stress, or whatever else, know there is always a place where you can find home. I found it here, and there's always room for more critters! Don't give up hope, don't quit your passions, always find what brings you joy and cling to it. Life is short and happiness is hard to find in dark places, but I promise there's a place for you. 💙 -K

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dweemeister · 5 years

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Joker (2019)

On March 30, 1981, John Hinckley Jr. shot and nearly killed United States President Ronald Reagan, wounded a police officer and Secret Service agent, and permanently disabled Press Secretary James Brady (whose death in 2014 was ruled a homicide from the gunshot wound thirty-three years prior). Found not guilty due to insanity, Hinckley obsessed over Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver (1976) while planning his actions. Like Taxi Driver’s protagonist Travis Bickle, Hinckley plotted to assassinate a famous politician. Besotted with Jodie Foster (who starred in Taxi Driver) and disappointed by not attracting her attention after stalking her, Hinckley planned the assassination attempt to impress the actress.

Hinckley and Taxi Driver were both on my mind when watching Todd Phillips’ Joker. Not only do they share thematic connective tissue and similar color palettes, but both films have been plagued by discourse about whether they will inspire someone to commit horrific violence – I respect Taxi Driver as one of the best films released in the 1970s, but it is not something I could rewatch easily. Filmmakers, indeed, should have a sense of social responsibility in their creations. Joker, as a character study first and foremost, paints its politics in broad strokes – preferring to submerge, as character studies should, the audience into the mindset of its protagonist. Joker invites the audience to empathize with a tortured soul who, failed by the state and refusing to hold himself responsible for his worst actions, consciously moves beyond redemption. That point, where the Joker is beyond redemption, is found where Batman fans know him best: murdering only to see if that murder is funny. Whether he reaches that point within the bounds of this film is up for debate.

It is 1981 in Gotham City. The city belches with urban malaise. A garbage collectors’ strike roils the city; socioeconomic inequality is rife; “Super Rats” plague the streets; the municipal services are overwhelmed. Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix) is a clown-for-hire living and caring for his aging mother, Penny (Frances Conroy). Money is sparse and one of the few joys Arthur and Penny have is Murray Franklin’s (Robert De Niro in a role not far removed from his turn in 1983′s The King of Comedy) primetime talk show. Arthur suffers from random paroxysms of laughter (a real-life affliction known as emotional incontinence, among other names) that, at the very least, invites disdainful looks from strangers who then avoid him. Arthur is seeking help for his depression and other unspoken problems, but Gotham’s social services are soon defunded by the city government and various other events force him to his breaking point.

Also featured in this film are Arthur’s hallway neighbor Sophie (Zazie Beetz) and cameos from Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen), a young Bruce Wayne (Dante Pereira-Olson), and Alfred Pennyworth (Douglas Hodge).

The film does not glorify any of its hideous violence, but those who are not critical consumers of media will interpret this film how they will. Nevertheless, Joker is less on the side of its protagonist than the likes of Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange (1971) and will likely result in a similar reverence once this film has exited theaters. Within the film’s confines, there is nothing surprising about any of its violence; how the violence happens is shocking in its immediacy and realistic ferocity. It is contextualized as being the inevitable result of a sociopolitical system that cares not for the downtrodden, the mentally ill – to reiterate, Phillips is painting with broad political strokes. Arthur, who keeps on seeking professional help and ways to quell his silent rage, is attempting to stay his destructive behaviors long after his first homicide (as the film does not glorify violence, it also does not target those with mental illness; it directs its ire towards those without sympathy for the mentally ill). Those efforts are stymied by factors beyond his control – an almost-plot twist to shock even ardent Batman fans, the idolization of an unnamed clown who has executed three members or accomplices of Gotham’s elite.

It is here that Joker separates itself from the social cynicism and post-Vietnam War disillusionment and of Taxi Driver; it is here that Philipps’ film becomes just as much a reflection of the era it was released in and the nation of its origin as Scarface (1932 original with Paul Muni), Bonnie and Clyde (1967), and The Dark Knight (2008) once did. Those films respectively capitalized on fears of Italian and Irish mafias making urban centers their criminal playgrounds, countercultural diehards claiming free-wheeling Jazz Age outlaws as their own, and a vast surveillance state crafted to declare war on terrorism. For Joker, the societal diagnosis by Phillips and co-writer Scott Silver (2010′s The Fighter) is double-sided, damning those with and without power. The film decries individuals and groups who deify charismatic or compelling figures claiming their actions and/or rhetoric to be indicative of the common person’s interests. These revered figures incorporate grievance into their persona, weaponizing the language of victimhood not only to bring attention and (justifiably or unjustifiably) force change on a problem, but to absolve themselves of their personal sins. They are, dare it be written, populists. Beware those who invoke “the people” to vindicate their crusades.

Arthur Fleck, as an underemployed clown, does not ask for the attention of the masses. He wishes, “to bring laughter and joy to the world,” yet finds fulfillment in making a handful of children’s hospital patients smile. During Arthur’s first appearance as Joker, he assumes the accidental and public mantle that has set Gotham aflame – legitimizing the homicides he has committed and the public’s brutalization of authority figures by playing victim. He is consumed in self-pity; his words become a simplistic screed. Notice how appealing his words are, how rapidly rhetorical animosity precludes political violence. In Joker’s darkest sequence, the protagonist will destroy the last remnants of Arthur Fleck and become the popular icon of violent upheaval rarely seen in any of his depictions in DC Comics. This is Joker at its most dangerous, if only because of how violence – whether in oppression or in resistance – is as integral to the United States as political compromise.

We hear these beats of populism elsewhere, too, mixed with capitalist can-do. It is present in Thomas Wayne’s television appearance announcing his candidacy for Mayor of Gotham City – “I alone can fix it,” this man of wealth implies. This is a departure from otherwise sympathetic depictions of Bruce Wayne’s father over the decades in Batman comic books. As a plot development, it (along with the “almost-plot twist”) seems unnecessary if only to ground Joker in the Batman mythos. Contrast this to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, where ill-intentioned, humorless capitalists operating within the military-industrial complex are repelled by the wisecracking “good” capitalists within that same system (see: Tony Stark). Murray Franklin, as a talk show host, concocts a scheme to bolster his ratings by humiliating someone in a worse life station – no background checks needed, let alone any semblance of attempting to understand his subject. Thus, Gotham is subject to personality- and grievance-based politics wrung through the corporate avarice of Network (1976). Joker may not have to space to critique capitalism in its entirety – it is a character study, after all – but the entire apple barrel seems spoiled here.

The least controversial element of Joker is Joaquin Phoenix’s magnificent lead performance. Phoenix has made a living playing men whose lives contend with inner turmoil and unsympathetic worlds. His work in The Master (2012) remains has career-defining role, but as Arthur Fleck and as Joker – through the pained laughter spells, his bodily contortions with his ribcage jutting from his frame, and a brooding nature tempered by an initial gentleness – this will be the role that crosses artistic and popular boundaries that segregate filmmaking. Phoenix may now be defined by this role, as Cesar Romero (a solid contract actor for 20th Century Fox despite being typecast as a Latin lover) and the late Heath Ledger (whose work in The Dark Knight overshadows the rest of his filmography) have been.

Director Todd Phillips, best known for The Hangover series, does an excellent job making Gotham City a character. So often consigned to be the faceless and unfortunate city wracked by domestic terrorism from curiously-named villains, never in a film has Gotham seemed like a place with its own history and haunts. The scenes on mass transit alone sell the city. Phillips’ indulgence for slow-motion (with cinematographer Lawrence Sher’s fawning camerawork) during dance sequences and almost constant dollying can be irritating. One montage between Arthur Fleck and Sophie – specifically, when he enters her apartment, confirming how unreliable a narrator he is – displays a lack of trust in the audience to make their own inferences.

Icelandic cellist and composer Hildur Guðnadóttir has crafted a score for her second film for a major American studio. Guðnadóttir’s career has been defined by an unpleasant mix of bass strings, percussion, and synth, droning repetitively, lacking the emotional catharsis that the films she has worked on are striving for. Her work on Joker is an improvement, but this is as difficult a listen as Joker is to watch. The score is almost entirely texture, not melody – melody is for those older films with sugary sentiment and Hollywood endings that do not reflect life’s ugliness, we are increasingly told. Outside of those with an ear for experimental classical music or instrumental music that groans amelodic passages rather than combining lyrical voices, this music has almost no life outside of the movie. Finally, Guðnadóttir’s style fits the film she has scored for.

As a psychological character piece, the only way that Joker could have secured a wide theatrical release in 2019 would be to tie it to bankable comic book lore. Even as Phillips pitched the idea, Joker faced stiff resistance from Warner Bros. executives – including former chairman Kevin Tsujihara and Greg Silverman – who still had the 2012 massacre in Aurora, Colorado on their minds (that tragedy took place during a screening of The Dark Knight Rises). Warner Bros. noting how poorly Zack Snyder’s vision of DC Comics adaptations was faring, needed to extricate itself from Snyder’s adolescent approach.

In the months before Joker’s release and even within the film, Warner Bros. has embraced its past. Of all of Hollywood’s major studios, Warners always seems to be the most conscious and celebratory of its history*. During the 1930s, Warner Bros. became known for the darker content of its films (its rivals MGM, Paramount, and Fox preferred spectacle, maximizing production values, and prestige pictures). The studio became the spiritual home of the gangster film and hardboiled dramas that pushed the boundaries of violence in American cinema – but not for the sake of depicting violence. Even in their musicals (a genre stereotyped as pure escapism), Warner Bros. layered progressive social commentary amid economic depression. Joker – though its own commentary could be more focused and succinct – inherits the legacy of The Public Enemy (1931), I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang (1932), Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933), and its numerous Warner Bros. ancestors.

How curious that a drama with origins from superhero comic books has been little praised for not following the assembly line production methods of numerous films from similar source material. Cinephiles fret, correctly, that movie theaters are becoming a home to superheroes/villains and explicitly-for-children animated features to the exclusion of everything else. The mid-budget character piece is endangered; certain genres have vanished from theater marquees. Joker, to some consternation, has it both ways. It is an excellent, arguably irresponsible, work to be seen with wary eyes.

My rating: 8/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

* Okay, okay you classic film buffs who have already recognized Joker’s references. Modern Times (1936) and Shall We Dance (1937) are from United Artists and RKO, respectively. But both films have long been part of Warners’ library by acquisition.

#Joker #Todd Phillips #Joaquin Phoenix #Robert De Niro #Zazie Beetz #Frances Conroy #Brett Cullen #Douglas Hodge #Dante Pereira Olson #Glenn Fleshler #Scott Silver #Lawrence Sher #Hildur Gudnadottir #My Movie Odyssey

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desertrosegoddess · 5 years

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🌹 The Desert Rose’s Weekly Pick a Card Reading 🌹

September 9th, 2019: The Reveal

🌹 Quartz: Four of Swords

This week will be a time to take a well deserved break from what you’ve been doing, my beloveds. You just desperately need to breathe. Don’t get burnt out on your projects, and take all the time you need. You need to heal for sure. Whether that be from a heartbreak, over working at your job, or just mentally and physically--you need to take time to heal. Learn to be at peace and detach yourself from whatever is currently stressing you. Sure, that’s easier said than done but once you get used to doing that, it’ll be a breeze and a great lesson for your heart. Embody Quartz energies as a master healer this week and amply those healing energies.

🌹 Yellow Obsidian: Four of Pentacles

What have you been hoarding lately? Low vibrational memories? Creative ideas? Emotions that no longer serve you? Or perhaps even people who no longer serve you? ...Why? Why do this to yourself? It’s time to set yourself free; not getting caught and tangled in a web that will just keep holding you down. That web could be made from you or even other people who are trying to keep you from raising your vibration. Allow your dreams, your projects, and your love blossom. Shine your light so that it benefits not only yourself but others as well. Fly. Yellow Obsidian can help with sharing this love in a more grounded mindset. Breathe and embody these energies as you move forward this week.

🌹 Kyanite: Six of Wands

That adversary or obstacle that has been blocking your way will be finally defeated this week. You’ve come out on top, figuring your way through the maze of obstacles and it’s time to let that pride fill your heart. Keep these memories bright so when you find yourself in that maze again, you know you have the strength to conquer it! And if you’ve been through this maze before and are stuck, know that victory is right around the corner.Though, don’t allow the pride to overflow as this can lead to arrogance. Know when to celebrate your wins. Allow Kyanite to align your energy centers to keep yourself grounded and open.

🌹 Amethyst: Six of Swords

There will be a lethargic pause in action for you. It will fee dull, dark, and damp but know that this is just a time of transition. Continue to move forward on your journey and soon, the weariness and fog will lift. Times can be difficult during this time but know that you are strong enough to endure. If you need to reach out for help, do so. Friends and loved ones will surely help lift that despondent heart of yours. This is your sign that things are going to work out. Keep moving. Transitions are never easy, but good things never are. Carry a piece of amethyst with you and allow its calm energies to embody you. This crystal can help alleviate any stresses that may come and help you get a good night’s sleep to tackle the next day.

🌹 Extra:

I noticed that there are two fours and two sixes this week. If you chose a four, know that your guides are here with you helping you on your journey. But they are also reminding you to be reliable, mindful, trustworthy, and avoid cutting corners at all costs. Don’t be overly critical, especially of others. If you chose a six regardless of which card, harmonious times are coming. Trust yourself if a decision or choice is presented to you. Listen deep to your intuition and trust you will choose wisely. Show love and compassion to not only others but yourself as well. Allow your authentic self to blossom and shine.

I hope this resonates and helps. Keep in mind these are just general readings. If you’d like a more personal and in-depth reading, please check out my shop below. If you’d like to keep seeing these wonderful pick a card readings every Monday, please consider donating with my Ko-Fi. Thank you so much, my beloveds. May your week shine. Much love!!

🌹 Polices | Samples | Feedback | Shop | Ko-Fi 🌹

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newwayastrology · 5 years

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LEARNING THROUGH WENDY WILLIAMS If you are unfamiliar with Wendy Williams, she is a former radio broadcaster who came to fame as one of the prominent voices on the very popular WBLS radio station in New York City. Williams was so popular during her stint with “BLS” that she was eventually offered a live audience TV show named after her. Williams’ name has been in the news lately because of personal problems that center on her husband’s alleged philandering and her reaction to it, which, unfortunately has been rooted in alcohol and apparently drugs. She has been staying in a downtrodden building that serves as a sober house for her. She cannot abuse herself through alcohol because she is under constant watch. Williams tapes her shows and is then driven back to the sober house. Things were going well until just a few days ago. Wendy’s husband’s name is Kevin Hunter. Hunter’s “other woman” gave birth to a child, a child that he is alleged to be the father of. What makes this really sticky is that Hunter has always been his wife’s agent and is the producer of her show. She is the big bread winner in the relationship so, the marital issue also threatens her career. There are four things that you never want problems with: severe illness or loss of a child; loss of a cherished marriage; loss of career; critical illness of your own. She has two of the four and inasmuch as she has been ill enough to miss a substantial length of time on her show, she is certainly not as healthy as she should be, both mentally and physically. HER ASTROLOGY The Williams horoscope has a northwestern hemisphere emphasis that we can see as a first impression. In layman’s terms, this suggests an orientation to the world centered on a giving of oneself to others that is linked somehow to unfulfilling factors in the formative years of development of her life. Instantly, you see Saturn Rx. That shines a spotlight on the father and it can be because of one or more reasons: he passed away early on; there was an early divorce; he was passive, autocratic, abusive, or just wasn’t around enough. Whatever the case may be, what happens, psychologically speaking, is a sense of inferiority. These feelings give rise to defenses, self-esteem concerns and much more and, as an adult, the stage that these issues play out on is usually relationships. We see Wendy’s Saturn being opposed by the 7th House Uranus from the 7th. This immediately links relationship and identity factors in a tug of war. That she has Uranus and Pluto in the 7th adds more to the profile being built here. Let me detour for a moment..... Have you ever thought about why you have the horoscope you have? I mean, have you ever really given it any thought? If you haven’t, you should because there is a reason why and it is helpful to keep in perspective what you are about to read. A horoscope is your gift from the universe. Look at your life here on this planet as a training ground for the growth of your soul. Your horoscope is your playbook. It tells you what you need, what you excel at and most importantly, what you need to work on to be the most evolved you can be. You learn about your role and purpose through the hard aspects in the horoscope, among other things (especially the Nodes). Back to Wendy. This is the horoscope of someone who learns greatly about herself though others, especially in personal relationships. Uranus is quindecile the Ascendant, an indication of relationship upsets due to too much of a need to project herself as a unique, individuated, even wild person (Marilyn Monroe had this, too). As well, the Uranus-Pluto pairing invites relational turbulence as the low expression of their paired energies. Finally, that the ruler of the Ascendant is in the 7th House tells us that relationships and the public are supposed to be the areas of life where she best finds and loses herself. As unpleasant as what has been happening is, she is supposed to experience relationship turbulence! Relationships, for her, are how she learns who she is and who she is not. It is unpleasant but so is lifting weights and look how great a body can look after dealing with so much resistance. Well, instead of lifting weights, Williams lifts personal and public relationships to get her soul in shape, to evolve. Her marriage to Hunter is her second marriage. The first one broke up primarily because of the bizarre behavior she seemed to constantly display due to the, then, hidden addiction problem she had. As well, she was unfaithful. The horoscope shows a T-square. Mercury squares Jupiter’s opposition to Neptune. On one hand, this symbolism refers to her imaginative communication skills. It also shows the mindset bound up in idealism, which easily becomes delusory. That Mercury rules the 4th House shines yet another light on parental dimensions tied into the idealism (which often easily includes self-deception and dishonesty to others). Mercury also rules the 5th 7th House. Parents-Home-Idealism….they are tied together. Deception is a solid part of her relational index. She was the deceiver in her first marriage and now, she has been deceived. Looking at all of this – the Neptune factor, it becomes easy to see how drugs could easily be a major outlet for her tensions. Venus and Mars are conjunct and are both unaspected by other planets. They are on an island, so to speak, and therefore have a dominant position in the horoscope. Venus-Mars has a sexual focus. In Gemini, the focus is cerebral. Venus also rules the 8th House. The Moon, ruler of the 5th and 7th Houses (co-rules the 7th) The sexual profile is pronounced and since fantasy is such a strong part of it, we can deduce that there is much pleasure in masturbation, that the fantasy part of sexuality is a turn-on. Jupiter’s rulership of the 11th House within this suggests tension about how she feels about herself in terms of lovability, attractiveness and those sorts of things. The Sun in Cancer links the life-energy strongly to emotional and family security. This central energy is expressed in a personality that needs to have control and do so by knowing as much as possible about what it wants to know. This is the combination of the person who needs to be thought of as deep and significant. Emotions run deep. This blend is filtered through the image of the Aquarius-Pisces Ascendant, which combines individuation, social justice interests, and a helping nature with compassion and deep sensitivity. Idealism is all over this horoscope. LOOKING AHEAD One of the mistakes that is often made in astrology, especially when it comes to relationship concerns, is that the person who is having problems now is doing so because of what a planet is doing now. For starters, a planet didn’t make Mr. Hunter have an affair. A planet didn’t make Williams cheat on her first husband. Planets indicate, they don’t make anything happen. Secondly, what is happening to Williams now is part of a process that started before now. If Hunter’s mistress just had a child, that relationship started awhile ago. The new mother didn’t just meet him 9 months ago and start a relationship. When you go back to 2017, you find two strong transits: Uranus squaring the Sun and Saturn opposing Venus, neither of which bodes well for a person in a troubled relationship. It might have been 2017 when this side relationship began or perhaps it was the onset of problems that led to now. Inasmuch as it has been reported that Williams has tossed her wedding ring, it looks like the marriage exists in name only. For Mr. Hunter, perhaps that’s the way it has been for some time. Right now, in 2019, the astrology isn’t life-changing. You don’t see anything that you would expect to see and it stays that way until June. In December, there is SP Moon square Saturn. December is when the aspect peaks but the effect of it begins in June. The significance of this aspect (occurs every 7 years) is that one’s main needs are in conflict with what reality is offering. It forces a person to make a concrete change in life of some kind. As previously mentioned, Hunter is William’s agent and he produces their show. We know that that professional relationship will end. With the Tertiary Progressed Moon going over the Ascendant on October 13th, that will probably be an important time period from, say, the 11th through the 15th. This SP Moon=Saturn contact introduces transiting Saturn opposing the Sun for all of 2020. In lieu of the reality as it exists now, 2020 will probably be pretty challenging for Williams. SP Moon will go over her Midheaven in March, 2020, certainly adding to the hustle and bustle that will no doubt exist as she deals with the marriage and career chaos. She is going to be jogging uphill for the foreseeable future. SUMMARY When I started in astrology, the person who introduced me to it said that with my Sun square Saturn, that I couldn’t expect much to happen in my life, that it will be difficult. I wonder what he thinks when he sees Oprah’s horoscope, with her Sun-Venus in the 2nd squared by Saturn. Imagine how he would look if he had told a young Oprah that she’d always struggle with money. Our hard aspects are CHALLENGES to varying degrees. They are not BAD. There are always things like acts of nature that happen or a neighbor falls asleep with a cigarette that ends up burning down your house, too. There are things that happen beyond our control but for the most part, it is bad decisions that causes our problems. Magic Johnson's career as a player ended early, not vecause of a planet but because he went nuts with indiscriminate sex in Hollywood and other places. Mr. Hunter did Williams wrong but she also did wrong to her first husband. She needs to learn about herself through relationships, both personal and with the public. Perhaps she will make beter choices in the future. None of us would be here if we didn’t make wrong choices. That’s what it’s all about. That’s how you learn and it’s so great that the universe gave us astrology as a roadmap to understanding the whole process!

#wendywilliams

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ellcrys · 5 years

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“We are encouraged to strategize and scheme to find places, times, and roles where we can be effectively put to work,” Harris, the Kids These Days author, writes. “Efficiency is our existential purpose, and we are a generation of finely honed tools, crafted from embryos to be lean, mean production machines.”

Burnout isn’t a place to visit and come back from; it’s our permanent residence.

This is a super long article but so worth the read.

The part that definitely resonated with me the most was the part on self-optimization. I can see this shit reflected in my daily habits and mindset. If I’m not being ‘productive,’ I’ve not had a good day. Every single part of my schedule is dictated by crossing things off my to-do list and what I’ve been able to accomplish. I’ve known this to be unhealthy since day 1 but couldn’t/can’t reverse the mindset. And now I get why.

Some great quotes below.

Topics that hit home for me in order of appearance:

On Branding:

“Branding” is a fitting word for this work[1], as it underlines what the millennial self becomes: a product. And as in childhood, the work of optimizing that brand blurs whatever boundaries remained between work and play. There is no “off the clock” when at all hours you could be documenting your on-brand experiences or tweeting your on-brand observations. The rise of smartphones makes these behaviors frictionless and thus more pervasive, more standardized. In the early days of Facebook, you had to take pictures with your digital camera, upload them to your computer, and post them in albums. Now, your phone is a sophisticated camera, always ready to document every component of your life — in easily manipulated photos, in short video bursts, in constant updates to Instagram Stories — and to facilitate the labor of performing the self for public consumption.

On Self-Optimization[2]:

Even the trends millennials have popularized — like athleisure — speak to our self-optimization. Yoga pants might look sloppy to your mom, but they’re efficient: You can transition seamlessly from an exercise class to a Skype meeting to child pickup. We use Fresh Direct and Amazon because the time they save allows us to do more work.

This is why the fundamental criticism of millennials — that we’re lazy and entitled — is so frustrating: We hustle so hard that we’ve figured out how to avoid wasting time eating meals and are called entitled for asking for fair compensation and benefits like working remotely (so we can live in affordable cities), adequate health care, or 401(k)s (so we can theoretically stop working at some point before the day we die). We’re called whiny for talking frankly about just how much we do work, or how exhausted we are by it. But because overworking for less money isn’t always visible — because job hunting now means trawling LinkedIn, because “overtime” now means replying to emails in bed — the extent of our labor is often ignored, or degraded.

The media that surrounds us — both social and mainstream, from Marie Kondo’s new Netflix show to the lifestyle influencer economy — tells us that our personal spaces should be optimized just as much as one’s self and career. The end result isn’t just fatigue, but enveloping burnout that follows us to home and back. The most common prescription is “self-care.” Give yourself a face mask! Go to yoga! Use your meditation app! But much of self-care isn’t care at all: It’s an $11 billion industry whose end goal isn’t to alleviate the burnout cycle, but to provide further means of self-optimization. At least in its contemporary, commodified iteration, self-care isn’t a solution; it’s exhausting.

On “The Double Shift”:

Millennial burnout often works differently among women, and particularly straight women with families. Part of this has to do with what’s known as “the second shift” — the idea that women who’ve moved into the workplace do the labor of a job and then come home and perform the labor of a housewife[3].

The labor that causes burnout isn’t just putting away the dishes or folding the laundry — tasks that can be readily distributed among the rest of the family. It’s more to do with what French cartoonist Emma calls “the mental load,” or the scenario in which one person in a family — often a woman — takes on a role akin to “household management project leader.” The manager doesn’t just complete chores; they keep the entire household’s schedule in their minds. They remember to get toilet paper because it’ll run out in four days. They’re ultimately responsible for the health of the family, the upkeep of the home and their own bodies, maintaining a sex life, cultivating an emotional bond with their children, overseeing aging parents’ care, making sure bills are paid and neighbors are greeted and someone’s home for a service call and holiday cards get in the mail and vacations are planned six months in advance and airline miles aren’t expiring and the dog’s getting exercised.

On “Adulting”:

“The modern Millennial, for the most part, views adulthood as a series of actions, as opposed to a state of being,” an article in Elite Daily explains. “Adulting therefore becomes a verb.” “To adult” is to complete your to-do list — but everything goes on the list, and the list never ends.

That’s one of the most ineffable and frustrating expressions of burnout: It takes things that should be enjoyable and flattens them into a list of tasks, intermingled with other obligations that should either be easily or dutifully completed. The end result is that everything, from wedding celebrations to registering to vote, becomes tinged with resentment and anxiety and avoidance. Maybe my inability to get the knives sharpened is less about being lazy and more about being too good, for too long, at being a millennial.

On Errand Paralysis:

There are a few ways to look at this original problem of errand paralysis. Many of the tasks millennials find paralyzing are ones that are impossible to optimize for efficiency, either because they remain stubbornly analog (the post office) or because companies have optimized themselves, and their labor, so as to make the experience as arduous as possible for the user (anything to do with insurance, or bills, or filing a complaint). Sometimes, the inefficiencies are part of the point: The harder it is to submit a request for a reimbursement, the less likely you are to do it. The same goes for returns.

Other tasks become difficult because of too many options, and what’s come to be known as “decision fatigue.” I’ve moved around so much because of my career path, and always loathed the process of finding family practitioners and dentists and dermatologists. Finding a doctor — and not just any doctor, but one who will take your insurance, who is accepting new patients — might seem like an easy task in the age of Zocdoc, but the array of options can be paralyzing without the recommendations of friends and family, which are in short supply when you move to a brand-new town.

Other tasks are, well, boring. I’ve done them too many times. The payoff from completing them is too small. Boredom with the monotony of labor is usually associated with physical and/or assembly line jobs, but it’s widespread among “knowledge workers.” As Caroline Beaton, who has written extensively about millennials and labor, points out, the rise of the “knowledge sector” has simply “changed the medium of monotony from heavy machinery to digital technology. … We habituate to the modern workforce’s high intensity but predictable tasks. Because the stimuli don’t change, we cease to be stimulated. The consequence is two-fold. First, like a kind of Chinese water torture, each identical thing becomes increasingly painful. In defense, we become decreasingly engaged.” My refusal to respond to a kind Facebook DM is thus symptomatic of the sheer number of calls for my attention online: calls to read an article, calls to promote my own work, calls to engage wittily or defend myself from trolls or like a relative’s picture of their baby.

To be clear, none of these explanations are, to my mind, exonerating. They don’t seem like great or rational reasons to avoid doing things I know, in the abstract, I want or need to do. But dumb, illogical decisions are a symptom of burnout. We engage in self-destructive behaviors or take refuge in avoidance as a way to get off the treadmill of our to-do list. Which helps explain one of the complaints about millennials’ work habits: They show up late, they miss shifts, they ghost on jobs. Some people who behave this way may, indeed, just not know how to put their heads down and work. But far more likely is that they’re bad at work because of just how much work they do — especially when it’s performed against a backdrop of financial precariousness.

Footnotes:

[1] For many millennials, a social media presence — on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter — has also become an integral part of obtaining and maintaining a job. The “purest” example is the social media influencer, whose entire income source is performing and mediating the self online. But social media is also the means through which many “knowledge workers” — that is, workers who handle, process, or make meaning of information — market and brand themselves. Journalists use Twitter to learn about other stories, but they also use it to develop a personal brand and following that can be leveraged; people use LinkedIn not just for résumés and networking, but to post articles that attest to their personality (their brand!) as a manager or entrepreneur. Millennials aren’t the only ones who do this, but we’re the ones who perfected and thus set the standards for those who do.

[2] One of the ways to think through the mechanics of millennial burnout is by looking closely at the various objects and industries our generation has supposedly “killed.” We’ve “killed” diamonds because we’re getting married later (or not at all), and if or when we do, it’s rare for one partner to have the financial stability to set aside the traditional two months’ salary for a diamond engagement ring. We’re killing antiques, opting instead for “fast furniture” — not because we hate our grandparents’ old items, but because we’re chasing stable employment across the country, and lugging old furniture and fragile china costs money that we don’t have. We’ve exchanged sit-down casual dining (Applebee’s, TGI Fridays) for fast casual (Chipotle et al.) because if we’re gonna pay for something, it should either be an experience worth waiting in line for (Cronuts! World-famous BBQ! Momofuku!) or efficient as hell.

[3] (A recent study found that mothers in the workplace spend just as much time taking care of their children as stay-at-home mothers did in 1975). One might think that when women work, the domestic labor decreases, or splits between both partners. But sociologist Judy Wajcman found that in heterosexual couples, that simply wasn’t the case: Less domestic labor takes place overall, but that labor still largely falls on the woman.

#this! article! is! everything!#thoughts and more quotes under the cut #i read about 3/4 of this article on my phone and then was like #i need to pull out my laptop so i can copy paste quotes and take notes #a long but very good read #good reads

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transrph · 7 years

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Writing a Trans Character As Experienced by a Trans Man

With more resources coming out for trans faceclaims, I wanted to make sure that there were also more guides on how to write a trans character. So I’m going to be sharing my personal experience with gender as a toolset for those that haven’t/aren’t questioning their identity. Please keep in mind that this is entirely based off of my personal experience and growth, and that every trans person has their own journey with their own experiences. None are invalid and all are equally as important. This also wound up turning into more of a gender study as well, so feel free to share and message about your thoughts. I’d love to have gender discussions!

Part One Part Two The Early Signs | Mislabeling

Part Three Navigating Identities

My biggest struggle, but also probably the biggest blessing, was trying to sort through and learn about all of the different identities that I’d found out about once gender became less boy and girl. I owe the knew knowledge I had to a web-series called Carmilla, and I owe the remaining and future knowledge to a youtuber by the name of Ash Hardell, who’s videos are beyond educational (seriously if you ever want to learn about gender identities and different labels go to their channel, it’s incredible).

The first label I used was nonbinary, it was the one I felt most comfortable with at 23 and not having a clue as to what my gender identity really was. I enjoyed my feminine side, I even thought I was pretty. And while some days I was very dysphoric about my chest, others I was more than happy to look down and say ‘damn I have some nice boobs’. Which brings your character to the next set of questions. What about their body do they love, what can they simply appreciate, and what do they absolutely despise? Because there is a difference between appreciating something and actually loving it. I appreciated my boobs, but I didn’t love them. However, my hair I loved, but I also love my short hair as well. It makes me feel better connected to myself. So take your character head to toe, list the things like like about themselves, and sort out what they appreciate and what they love. And then make a separate list for what they hate.

There’s a common misconception that transgender people hate everything about their bodies, or have to be dysphoric at all. The fact is, being trans is different for everyone. For some, yes, it can be crippling dysphoria and severe depression. For me, it was minor dysphoria, and overall unhappiness in myself over something I couldn’t identify, and wishing for people to see me as a boy. In that sense I was more socially dysphoric as opposed to physically dysphoric (more on this in a few). And then we have some that simply don’t experience dysphoria at all, they just know that the way society views them is not how they view themselves. And they know they want to fix that.

With physical dysphoria it is about your body, the things that make you feel like you are not the gender you know you are internally. Hair, face shape, shoulders, genitalia, leg hair, adam’s apple, even height. These are all some of the things a person suffering with physical dysphoria would take note of.

With social dysphoria, it’s more about how society see’s you and what it is about your social interactions that make you come off more masculine/feminine. Voice, for instance, was a major social one for me, because my voice was relatively deep for a female it was still too high to be seen as male. The body language I used is also quite feminine. I pop my hip a lot, click my tongue, wave my hand, all things stuck with the ‘feminine’ label. And it was due to growing up and learning body language from other people that shared my sex.

So when writing your character, know what kind of dysphoria that they experience. Is it mostly social or physical, is it a balance between both?

Also keep in mind that dysphoria isn’t just about the chest and the genitals. Yes for some that’s a huge problem, but for me my lower half gives me no dysphoria. The worst I get is penis envy but never truly dysphoric. My biggest dysphoria comes from my voice, as I said, second to that my muscles, after that my chest, and then after that my height. Dysphoria can present itself in so many different ways and in so many different levels. How much someone experiences will be unique to that person, and no person, character, mun, anyone should tell someone that the way they feel their dysphoria is wrong. So keep this in mind when roleplaying with another trans character, just because their character’s dysphoria does not match your idea, it does not make it any less valid.

Getting back to dysphoria and identities, there sadly is a struggle with the standard ‘quota’ on dysphoria. Because media presents being dysphoric as a sort of requirement, finding one’s gender identity can feel like we are simply making it all up in our heads. So when I finally came to realize that it in fact, is not a requirement, I began to label myself as genderfluid. Because again, I didn’t hate myself for being a woman, and in my mind that was what was required to be a trans male. I can say, the more I explored the masculine side of gender fluidity, the more I began falling deeper and deeper into self discovery. Cutting long hair to short hair seems to be a turning point in a lot of the trans guys I see both on Tumblr and on Youtube. It was sort of like that eye opening moment of ‘Yes. This fits me. Yes.’ A sort of silent validation that this is who you are. For me, I tried to keep it feminine cut, wanting to cling to the female side of gender fluidity due to my relationship with a lesbian cis woman.

However when I got home and saw the cut, it felt worse than when I had long hair. I no longer had the femininity of my long hair, but this wasn’t quite masculine enough in my opinion either. So I went in and chopped my hair off little by little until I got to a length I was happy with.

For me, my long hair was the biggest thing about my femininity, and even though it was my favorite part about myself, it also made people think I was only female and that didn’t work for me on days when I felt very masculine.

My point in this is that finding the right label and growing comfortable in said label is a process in itself. The entire journey through gender identity is long. Painfully long. And before you know it so much time has passed by just trying it figure out who you are and what your identity is. In my opinion this is critical to the development of a character, knowing the struggles they went through to find their label and to grow comfortable in it. Because as you can see, I very much am not genderfluid, but at the time that was the label I was happy with. It was a stepping stone in the full journey, and that is what character development is about. The journey to who your character is today, and why they are that way. Research as many labels as possible, think about what they would realistically feel comfortable labeling themselves as before transgender fits them (that is if yours struggles with identities, if not then feel free to skip ahead). The following links are to Ash Hardell’s very educational videos on gender identity that they made and I think are a great tool in both writing and in the self.

All About Pronouns

Everything Gender Part One

Everything Gender Part Two

Greygender

Settling into the trans label was oddly difficult. I don’t think it was internalized transphobia because it had nothing to do with transphobia and more to do with me thinking I wasn’t allowed to label myself as transgender given all the facts I’ve mentioned before. So now would be a good time to reflect on your character building. With their experiences as kids and on, their sexuality labels and their comfort in those labels, and now the stepping stone labels (if they used any before identifying as transgender), would your character feel comfortable and sure enough to label themselves as transgender? If yes, congrats feel free to move ahead. If no, then the rest of this will be catered to you.

Growing comfortable in a label, in my opinion, is all about the research done. Learning what it means to identify as that label, and listening to others experiences when finding themselves and identifying with that label. Below is a video I watched (excluding one by Benton Sorensen which was the genuine video that validated my identity. He has since deleted it) that helped me immensely through my journey and I think will further help you in putting your mindset in that of a trans guy (I cannot and will not speak on behalf of trans women because it is my belief that socially they have it much harder and have an entirely different struggle than trans men face. Again, just my opinion).

I Didn’t Know I Was Transgender

I’d like to remind everyone reading that transitioning and figuring themselves out is different for everyone, however, Taylor O’Keefe’s video was like someone took my life and had someone else speak about it. So while there are differences, there are also many similarities on the emotional and mental level. The thought processes when questioning your gender.

So if your character was not feeling comfortable identifying as trans before, write in how they grew comfortable, or have that be a plotline in your story/verse. Because it can be a long grueling process full of self doubt and at times self loathing, I can’t think of a better source of angst than feeling like you are at war with yourself.

Prompt Version:

What about your characters body do they love?

What about your characters body do they appreciate?

What about your characters body do they hate?

Do they experience more physical dysphoria or social dysphoira? Or a balance of both?

Does your character feel comfortable enough at this point in time, to for sure call themselves transgender?

How did they grow comfortable?

#trans #rp guide #writing guide #guide #guide: writing #guide: character

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personalcoachingcenter · 5 years

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Metacognition: How Thinking About Thinking Can Help Kids

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/metacognition-how-thinking-about-thinking-can-help-kids/

Metacognition: How Thinking About Thinking Can Help Kids

When kids hit difficult problems — the seemingly insurmountable English essay, a math test that takes on epic proportions, social struggles that leave them feeling frustrated — it can be tempting to give up and resort to four words no parent ever wants to hear: “I can’t do it.”

In order to thrive, kids need to be able to make the transition from the negative “I can’t” to the proactive “How can I?”

To do that, they need to think about why they’re stuck, what’s frustrating them, what they would need to get unstuck. They need to think about their own thinking.

There’s a word for that, and it’s metacognition.

Metacognition is a big word for something most of us do every day without even noticing. Reflecting on our own thoughts is how we gain insight into our feelings, needs, and behaviors — and how we learn, manage, and adapt to new experiences, challenges, and emotional setbacks. It’s the running conversation we have in our heads, mentally sounding ourselves out and making plans. Training kids to use it proactively to overcome obstacles, it turns out, can be a powerful tool.

More and more studies are suggesting that kids who are taught to use metacognitive strategies early on are more resilient and more successful, both in and out of school.

“I view metacognition as a goal,” says Marc Gladstone, a learning specialist. “Getting into the habit of using metacognitive strategies early on helps kids become more independent learners and bolsters self-advocacy skills.”

What is metacognition and how does it work?

“Metacognitive thinking teaches us about ourselves,” says Tamara Rosier, a learning coach who specializes in metacognitive techniques. “Thinking about our thinking creates perspective — perspective that leaves room for change.”

She gives an example: “Instead of saying, ‘Math tests make me anxious,’ we’re asking ourselves, ‘What is it about math tests that makes me feel anxious and what can I do to change that?’ ”

Kids who are taught to think of themselves as being “good” or “bad” at a particular task can have a fixed mindset that makes them passive in approaching a challenge: either they can do it or they can’t, but they aren’t likely to think they can change that outcome.

Teaching kids to become more metacognitive helps them move from a mindset that leaves little room for change to a mindset which promotes self-awareness and resilience.

Help for kids with learning issues

Helping your child learn to work through difficult situations (or homework assignments, as the case may be) without becoming overwhelmed or giving up is especially valuable for kids with learning issues who may need to come up with different strategies than other students in the class.

For example:

A child with ADHD who struggles to stay on task is likely to feel frustrated and anxious when he’s assigned a long essay. If he’s unable to reflect on why the project upsets him he might think, “Everyone else is having an easy time. I’m just bad at writing.”

A kid who’s learned to reflect on his own learning process, on the other hand, could look at the situation and say, “I always feel like this when I have to work for a long time. Maybe if I take breaks every hour or so I’ll feel less stressed out.” By taking a metacognitive approach, he’s able to manage his frustration and find a better way to approach big assignments in the future.

Great for self-regulation

Metacognitive skills are not only excellent tools for kids who learn differently, and often find themselves struggling to keep up. They also enable kids to self-regulate when faced with challenges, especially unexpected ones.

“One of the most powerful byproducts of metacognitive thinking is increased self-regulation,” says Gladstone.

Being able to self-regulate helps kids manage experiences that might otherwise overwhelm them. For example, take two girls who have to audition for a school play, both of whom are struggling with unusually difficult material.

A girl who is regularly told how talented she is and is used to being praised for her performances is likely to get frustrated and overwhelmed at the sheer thought of performing badly.

But a girl who is praised for her ability to work hard and persevere when she’s faced with a challenge can draw on her metacognitive skills to help her manage her nerves and help her figure out a way of rehearsing that works better for her.

Quieting negative self-talk

Fallout from a fixed mindset often takes the form of self-criticism. The negative feelings kids experience when they feel frustrated easily turn into negative self-talk. “If I’m so smart, why did I fail the test? I’m not smart. I’m useless.”

“When you place your value on being ‘smart,’ anything that makes you feel less than smart is devastating,” says Rosier. “A lot of kids develop a negative inner voice, and they develop it in place of metacognition.”

This negative voice is sneaky, she explains, often masquerading as a coach. “You can mistake self-criticism for motivation. What we want to do is get rid of the negative inner voice and replace it with metacognitive thinking that helps your child find new ways to manage her challenges instead of beating herself up about them.”

How to encourage metacognition

How do you help your child start becoming more meta?” Metacognitive questions, says Rosier, will help your child begin thinking in a more reflective way. Questions should be:

Open-ended. Give your child some space to reflect on his thinking: Can you tell me more about why you think that?

Non-blaming. It can be hard to stay open when kids are acting out, but asking them to think about their behavior can help them learn to manage difficult situations in a better way: Why do you think you got so upset when Dad changed the channel?

Solution-focused. Encourage him to think about how he can use his understanding to change things in the future: How could you handle that differently next time?

Process-oriented. Ask questions that help your child get a better idea of how his thought process works: How will you know when this drawing is finished?

Be patient

“When you teach kids to think about their behavior differently, they begin to behave differently,” says Rosier. But she warns that it’s important not to expect instant results. Learning to think metacognitively is a process, and parents may have to accept that a lot of the work is happening behind the scenes.

“Of course we want to see progress, but our children — especially teenagers — don’t always share their thinking with us and that’s okay.”

Just asking the questions gets the metacognitive work going internally, even if it’s not visible to the parental eye, Rosier explains. The benefits are the same, she says, even if all you get is a grunt in return.

Learning to learn

Asking questions at home will help kids begin to use metacognitive strategies in their schoolwork, too. For many kids — especially those with learning differences — this can be harder than it sounds. It’s easy to get bogged down by poor study habits, procrastination, homework meltdowns, and test stress.

If your child is struggling to work through a long paper, ask questions that help him use his metacognitive skills to try a different approach.

What do you think is making it hard for you to work on this paper right now?

What are some strategies that have helped you do well on similar papers in the past?

Can you use those insights to help you with the work you’re doing now?

Asking metacognitive questions will help him clarify his process, manage his anxiety, and find a better way to approach his paper, but the benefits don’t end when the assignment is done.

The more your child is able to understand his learning process the easier it will be for him to figure out what strategies and supports work best for him — knowledge that will help him succeed — both now and as he grows up.

Go To Source

#coaching #coaching business #coaching group #coaching life #coaching life style #coaching on line #coaching performance #Coaching Tips #help #Coaching from around the web

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momentumgo · 5 years

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Caitlin Cadieux

Motion Designer/Animator/Illustrator caitcadieux.com Troy, NY Age 28 She/Her

How did you get your start in motion design, animation, or whatever it is that you do?

I always wanted to be an animator. Seeing The Lion King in theaters when I was a little kid blew my mind. I was always getting in trouble in school for drawing in class, and I had class credit requirements waived in high school so I could take more art classes.

I wanted to go to SCAD for 3D character animation. My mom drove me two hours to Tulsa to a portfolio review event they were holding, and there I found out that I would never be able to afford the tuition, even with scholarships, without taking out massive loans. I decided to go to a state school instead, for graphic design. It felt like I was giving up on my dream, but I was hopeful that I’d be able to make it work if I was lucky and driven enough.

In my junior year at OU, we were assigned one After Effects project, making a title sequence for a film (I chose Cronenberg’s Videodrome), and I was hooked. I stopped doing the regular design assignments and started working independently on animation and motion graphics projects instead. None of my professors knew motion graphics, but I was lucky enough to land an internship with an alumnus who freelanced in LA. That summer in LA taught me all the basics and was completely invaluable, as I was otherwise entirely self taught.

After graduation, I picked up little low budget freelance jobs and managed to turn one into a full time job at my alma mater. It wasn’t a glamorous job and I was still the only animator around, but it afforded me time to continue learning and freelancing, and let me stay in Oklahoma while my partner finished his undergraduate degree. I lived at home with my parents for a year.

When he graduated, we moved to upstate NY, where he got into grad school. I kept up freelancing and got a job at a local news station. My day job was extremely unfulfilling, so I spent most of the day working on personal projects and most nights freelancing. I was working such long hours that I ended up injuring my right arm, which is still plaguing me today and for which, years later, I’ve had to get physical therapy. I wish I’d taken on fewer freelance projects at this time – it was NOT worth it.

Being from Oklahoma, where there’s still very little in the way of a motion graphics community, I did everything I could to get involved online. I started actively participating in #mochat, a motion graphics twitter chat that I eventually would help moderate. I went to every conference I could afford to, including NAB, F5, AIGA conferences, anything. I relished every opportunity to talk with other animators and share work and techniques.

Because of connections I made this way, The Atlantic reached out to me when they were searching for a new animator. I moved to Brooklyn in January 2016, leaving my partner in upstate NY, to work out of the NYC office. The move was extremely difficult for me; leaving your live-in partner to move in with roommates in a new city is not remotely fun, but it was a choice I was willing to make at that time to further my career, and I’m glad that I did it. I’m also glad that after nine months, when the long distance was getting overwhelming, I asked to transition to full-time remote.

I’ve been working remotely from Troy, NY ever since. I’m still learning new things all the time, and trying to push the envelope at work as well as balance my personal projects and development, and even working remotely, it’s STILL hard. I did have to put my relationship on the backburner for a time, but I made that decision with full awareness, and have been fortunate enough to keep work and life in a general balance. Sometimes you do need to focus on one or the other, but you don’t need to throw either one away.

There are so many avenues to explore with animation that I really don’t know what my future holds. I’m getting more interested in UI/UX and game animation, excited by the work mograph studios are doing all over the world, wondering what it would be like to work in TV. My biggest dreams and aspirations are still on the horizon–I want to work in feature animation, and I’m not sure yet how I’ll make that happen. But for today, I’m extremely proud of the career I’ve been able to build.

What are some best practices you use today?

I try to take my time and be patient, especially when making major career decisions. The biggest thing you can focus on is craft. Spend as much time as you can learning how to make beautiful, compelling, well-designed and well-executed work. Beyond that, all you can really do is be open to opportunities and then make choices when presented with them. Being persistent is key – I’ve been rejected for so many opportunities, but there are many times where I just kept slamming my head against the wall until I broke through to the other side. Work hard, but more importantly, work smart. Share with others and participate in the greater animation community, because it absolutely will come back to you.

How do you balance your work with your personal life? How do the two influence each other?

It definitely helps if most of your hobbies and interests are related. I love to draw and paint and I love movies, all of which has the lucky byproduct of keeping me growing and learning in my career path. I try very hard to do things that don’t involve sitting on the computer, though. I took up martial arts, which gets me out of the house, is really engaging and keeping me fit, and incorporates a lot of stretching (which is critical for maintaining your precious joints!). Animation can also be really isolating, and remembering to go out and hang with your friends is crucial. It’s amazing how much better and refreshed you feel when you take a night off to play board games with your friends.

State your privilege – What circumstances may have helped or hindered you along the way?

My parents paid for every cent of my schooling. While they weren’t able to afford art school tuition, they made it possible for me to graduate from a four year graphic design program without taking out a single student loan. My grandma covered books and supplies in college. I also attended private school from 1st grade through high school. I’m so extremely fortunate in this regard and I don’t think I’d be able to take on some of the opportunities I’ve had without that help.

How have you learned to practice self-care? What do you do to take care of yourself?

Eating healthier and getting enough sleep have a trickle-down effect, I think – sleep especially. Your productivity and general wellbeing are significantly boosted if you’re rested. Eating better also makes you feel better, which helps you to focus and get work done. The more you’re taking care of your basic needs and mental health, the easier it is to be in the right mindset.

What advice do you have for those just starting out?

Make good habits now. Achieving greatness absolutely requires sacrifice, but you don’t have to burn up your life or your body in order to succeed. Find ways to save yourself time and money so that you can invest it where it counts and get a full night’s sleep as frequently as you can. Be a sponge for information, but take all advice with a grain of salt. Life is short, but we also have so much more time than we truly realize – if you feel like your only choice is to risk your life or your health to get where you want to be, remember that there is ALWAYS another way, even if it means slowing down and taking your time. Many people don’t get their ‘big break’ until much later in life.

Try not to be too dazzled by your heroes, and don’t try to follow anyone else’s journey to success. Nobody else’s path can be retrod. If you’re focused, you can make your own way.

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ganeshaspeaks-yahoopartner · 5 years

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What The Year 2019 Has In Store For You, Know It From Ganesha

(Image Source : Internet)

2019 Yearly Predictions

Aries ( 21st March to 20th April ) :

The year 2019 for you is going to be full of ups and downs, leaving you with varied and mixed results throughout the year. During the first initial months of this year, you may feel anxiety taking over you, making you quite enraged and angry, even over petty matters in your day to day life. You may notice, that a distance is formed between you and your family members, especially with your father and your brother, creating a sort of a barrier in between which may have a negative impact on the bonding that you share with one another, all because of the effect of Mars on you. To add further, it is advised that you remain alert and cautious of what is happening around, as you may also feel disturbed, uneasy and a bit edgy due to the influence of Rahu. You may also feel that your life is turning bleak, as there are chances that you may have monetary issues or be decieved by someone or something, as per the Aries 2019 horoscope.

Taurus ( 21st April to 21st May ) :

This year is going to be really exciting for you, as it is filled with a lot of astonishments and amazement. The Taurus horoscope 2019 says that this year will be very fruitful for you and your dear ones because there lies a great possibility for you to get promoted at your job or obtain some good amount of profit through your business. Furthermore, students may also get a chance to go abroad, to pursue their higher education which will mark as a good opportunity for them to grow and get some exposure. Ganesha predicts, that your family life and matters affiliated to love will also bloom like a beautiful flower in a garden. According to the Taurus 2019 horoscope, the year will be enjoyable, and you will be able to accomplish tasks related to your profession and some related to your personal ones, which were incomplete for some time now. An important aspect that you can put emphasis on, this Taurus life 2019 is, setting up of priorities and working on them accordingly. This is the best time where you can do some good planning and implement them in the most perfect manner to get the best out of yourself and the resources available to you. So, work hard, aim to give your hundred percent and the rest will follow, says Ganesha. You may as well notice, that you will have a great bonding with people around you as predicted in your yearly horoscope 2019.

Gemini ( 22nd May to 21st June ) :

The Gemini 2019 horoscope says that this year will be very crucial and significant for all the Gemini people, as there will be a lot of alterations and variations this year, for all of you. There will be both positive as well as negative changes that may occur this year, which will be affiliated with your personal life. This year will be like a roller coaster ride for you, with both optimistic as well as pessimistic experiences. Jupiter transits in your 7th House and from 2nd December it will transit in the 8th House which will mark as a very critical event in your life. Therefore, as per the Gemini 2019 predictions, it is advised that you take proper care of your health as there are chances that you may face some health problems, especially the ones that may affect your knees and stomach. So, keep a watch and try to indulge in healthy workouts and a proper diet as per Gemini horoscope 2019. Avail the 2019 Career Report and know will you career fare in 2019.

Cancer ( 22nd June to 22nd July ) :

Cancerians are usually very sentimental, sensitive and intuitive by nature, and your life as per 2019 Cancer horoscope may turn out to be really productive for them as matters related to finance, career and job is going to take a positive leap. Therefore, those who have a job will be appreciated and promoted, as your hard work and capabilities will lead you through the way and bestow you with the taste of success, confirms Ganesha. For all the businessmen, you may get good opportunities to make new clients or implement something new, which will be favorable and advantageous for you, monetarily. You may also get a chance to enlarge and develop your business on a bigger scale and achieve a state of prosperity. The only thing that you have to make sure is to plan your moves and implement it accordingly which will assure your victory. As far as the subject related to love is concerned, two periods right from, January to March and October to December is the best time to involve yourself in a relationship. Those who intend to get married, will also find this the best suitable time to get into the association of marriage, as per Cancer 2019 horoscope.

Leo ( 23rd July to 22nd August ) :

Leo in 2019, will have an optimistic and a zealous year, as you will be filled with confidence and enthusiasm which will reflect on your everyday execution of work. Although your previous year was not fruit-bearing, this year will see a drastic change in your situation, a positive one. Thus, your performance will have a positive influence on your status, honour and self esteem. It will also boost your confidence which in turn will make you more productive and zesty, as per your your Leo 2019 astrology prediction. In spite of the overload of your work, your devotion, urge and your energetic persona will not dull you down, but will rather make you push yourself more towards accomplishing more, says Ganesha. You will feel a sudden change in your life. You may feel an enthusiastic push which will make you feel special, powerful and make you complete your tasks in no time, without any complications, according to Leo horoscope 2019. But you will have to be quite wary and careful of any health issues that may take place this year, as prevention is always better than cure. If you are facing problems in married life, access the 2019 Love Life + Marriage Prospects Report.

Virgo ( 23rd August to 22nd September ) :

Virgo in 2019, may witness both good and bad experiences, but do not worry as you can always hold on to the good ones, and learn something from the bad ones, says Ganesha. You will see a positive result in your professional career from the starting of 2019 till the month of April. You may get a good hike in your salary and businessmen will also receive monetary gains, as is indicated in your career horoscope 2019 for Virgo. You will feel that you are physically fit and also ready to do some long distance travelling. All the problems pertaining to your ancestral property will also find its way out and get disentangled. You are very sensible and analytical in your approach towards most of the things in life, which makes you overcome a lot of challenges and be successful. In spite of having a weak and a less determined mindset, you usually take very precise decisions which are always helpful, according to Virgo horoscope 2019. It is advised to be alert in your profession between 10th April and 11th August.

Libra ( 23rd September to 22nd October ) :

Libra life in 2019, may have a blend of both rises and falls of situations and outcomes. You may see an increase in your level of reputation in the society, due to the effect of Jupiter. But as per the Libra 2019 horoscope, there may be hurdles that you have to deal with while making money due to the effect of Saturn. This will also have an impact on your mindset which will receive a lot of strain and tension as well. Furthermore, you will also witness stress and face a lot of struggle in your relationship with your spouse, so try to be more calm and composed rather than firing back, says Ganesha. Rahu, on the other hand will have both negative and positive affect in your life, where, on one side you will be honoured by people and on the other, it will have an impact on your business. As per the 2019 Libra horoscope, you may eventually be able to find some sort of stability during this period of time, and thus you should make the most out of it. So, try to hold on to any and every opportunity that you get so that you can be very productive and be able to set yourself in every possible way. Keep in mind to stay away from any kind of quarrel or heated discussion at this point of time. The movement of Venus with Rahu and Jupiter, this year, will throw you in a better place, which is a good sign.

Scorpio ( 23rd October to 22nd November ) :

For all the Scorpios, this year may have its own advantages and disadvantages, that you may have to experience as per your Scorpio 2019 yearly horoscope. Your career may take a huge leap and benefit you, because of the positive impact of Jupiter on you, during this time, informs Ganesha. Although, at the starting of the year, the conditions prevailing will help you to gain success due to the concurrence of the Sun-Mercury and Venus-Jupiter, it is highly recommended to take really good care of your health by eating right and regularly exercising. Another important aspect is that during the time period between 21st June to 1st July, you may not be able to make clear decisions and come to any final conclusions, making it very difficult for you to come to any concrete judgments. This is due to the untimely and unfavourable movement of your planets which will also make you restless, worried and uneasy. This may also have a negative influence on your health which should be taken care of, at any cost. Apart from this, there are very good chances for you to indulge in travelling this year, according to your Scorpio 2019 horoscope. If you want your business to surge, buy 2019 Business Report.

Sagittarius ( 23rd November to 21st December ) :

Sagittarius in 2019, is going to witness the ebb and flow of opportunities and circumstances. There will be several chances where you will get a possibility to grasp, learn, grow and implement your actions accordingly, which will improve the probability of you being successful in whatever you dig your hands in. Due to the Jupiter’s transit, there is a possibility that you may go out on a pilgrimage to very holy and sacred place close to you. You may also find yourself to be inclined towards philosophy or indulge in religious activities. Though, it is advised that you become cautious and careful from 2nd week of April and 2nd week of August, as predicted by Sagittarius horoscope 2019. As far as the finances are concerned, this year for you is going to be very profitable as we can see better profit, heading towards you in the coming year, which will make you quite stable monetarily. Apart from this, your children will lend you constant aid and support which may boost your much needed confidence. Luck is something that will undoubtedly follow you where you go, making all your tasks easy, uncomplicated and effortless. Thus, all your remaining chores and tasks will be taken care of, as is envisioned by Sagittarius 2019 yearly horoscope.

Capricorn ( 22nd December to 20th January ) :

Get ready as the world will be your oyster, as per Capricorn 2019 horoscope! You will come off with flying colors as you will witness a positive transformation in both, personal and professional life, a whole nine yards, during this phase. The tenth sign of the Zodiac, the Earthy Capricorn, represents that you are an ambitious, determined and helpful person. It is truly said that, it is better to stock up before the winter comes. As you are also a reliable, practical and hardworking person, it is a perfect time to think about your future. And remember that, action speaks better than words. Try to improve yourself, think more rationally and make realistic plans, and keep the eye on the ball, always! For now, keep the worry about your financial investments and savings at bay as there will be better than average results. Are you planning to buy a new home? Or a more comfortable office? It seems like the most unexpected benefits are just around the corner, and you may win a lottery or get a promotion, or see the rates of your shares quickly going up! So, be prepared as it is more likely that you may invest in property. It is true that in order to stay mentally healthy you must be physically fit as well, tells your 2019 Capricorn horoscope.

Aquarius ( 21st January to 18th February ) :

It is said that adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience. You have shown tremendous patience till now. But now is the time for you to carefully analyze the situations affecting you or asking for your attention and wisely act upon them in a very effective manner. With that said, Aquarius is blessed with tremendous analytical qualities. This particular quality brings out the genius wizard in them who converts the poison into medicine. With their endeavor they can beat any struggle and climb any mountain and convert the tough times into their desired and favorable situations. Aquarians are decision makers; they wield a very strong and effective deciding power. As per Aquarius horoscope 2019, if you have lost your faith in something or are feeling hopeless, the spring is here and the winter has ended. Your faith in your goals, aims and objectives will be rekindled and reaffirmed by no one else but you! The level of your self-confidence seems like it has just had an energy drink! It is going to get a boast and when you have a confidence in yourself you would not leave any stone unturned, you will achieve success to some extent, as per Aquarius 2019 yearly horoscope. Get your back packs ready as well as your passports because it might be the time for the wanderlust inside you to be awakened.

Pisces ( 19th February to 20th March ) :

Your true self will show admirable intelligence and people will take you as a sharp cookie! You will wear your thinking cap real tight this year but beware not to get too egoistic about it, tells your Pisces horoscope 2019. So, skip the ‘e’ and let it ‘go’! You will be able to give solutions to others at the drop of a hat. You will feel at home in your natural surroundings and hit the nail on the head about many issues, including religious and intellectual subjects. You will be like the ‘Socrates’ to the people around you, and they will love you for who you really are as, and may also get influenced by you. Several unprecedented events will be taking place, so be careful and keep your eyes and heart open! Cherish as there is light at the end of the tunnel, says your Pisces 2019 horoscope! You will see your seeds for long-term dreams, goals and ambitions begin to sprout. Just hit the pedal to the metal as it is the best time to work hard and embrace the results, tells your Pisces 2019 yearly horoscope. Have you been feeling lost since some time? Or do you have long buried questions in your mind about yourself? Then the answers are right at the corner! An exploration of your true self will happen during this year and you will stop beating around the bush and realize what are your actual needs.

With Ganesha’s Grace, The GaneshaSpeaks.com Team

To Get Your Personalised Solutions! Talk To Astrologer Now.

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amazonauthorinsights-live · 7 years

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How to write a nonfiction book

By Joanna Penn

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A step-by-step guide to getting it done.

Do you want to write a nonfiction book? Are you struggling with where to start or how to get it done?

This article will take you through a step-by-step guide to the process. It starts with thinking about your book and structuring it before diving into the actual writing.

The more work you do upfront, the easier the book will be to produce.

I’m currently writing my seventh nonfiction book with more planned, and my process is quite defined these days. I find writing nonfiction books a “palate cleanser” between novels. It’s a very different form of writing, more structured and more aimed at helping others.

This article is relevant for most nonfiction, but excludes memoir or narrative nonfiction, as they are quite specific forms.

(1) Decide on your definition of success

Before you jump into actually writing, it’s worth deciding on your own definition of success as this can be critical to whether the process is satisfying for you.

Some authors “just want to help people” with their nonfiction books, others want to win literary prizes, others want to make money. It’s very unlikely that the same book will satisfy all of these desires, so you have to decide which is most important to you.

These are the main reasons why authors want to write nonfiction books in particular and some of the possible definitions of success:

You want to help people around a specific topic and usually you will have been through an experience yourself that drives the writing of the book. This was my experience with Career Change, a book I wrote to change my own life and now helps others discover what they really want to do. It sells small numbers consistently every month but it’s not a book I spend time marketing. It was my first book and it’s successful because I finished it, published it, and it continues to help people.

You have a business already and want a book to demonstrate authority, augment your business, and open doors to speaking and other business opportunities. The point of the book is not necessarily to make money in itself but to drive people to the rest of your business. This is the “book as business card” model. For example, my book, How to Make a Living with your Writing, drives people to my Creative Freedom course. The aim of the book is to provide an introduction to that extended material. The definition of success is based on how many people sign up to a specific email list, and we’ll explore these possible business models a little further on in the article.

You are deeply fascinated with a topic and want to produce a seminal work on it. These are the type of nonfiction books that go on to win literary prizes, books that may be commissioned and that consume the author for a long time. One example would be The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee, which won the Pulitzer Prize.

You have an audience and write to fulfill their needs, which often coincide with your own interests. I started out writing nonfiction to learn what I needed to know myself about self-publishing and book marketing. I discover what I think by writing a book about it these days. I wrote How to Market a Book when I was learning about marketing, and Business for Authors: How to be an Author Entrepreneur as my own writing career transitioned into a global business.

You want to use nonfiction book sales as the basis of your income, so you want to write multiple books in a niche and dominate that market. Some authors do make a full-time living writing these kinds of books. One example is S.J. Scott.

Once you have decided on your definition of success, you must then decide on the specific topic for your book.

(2) Decide on the specific topic for your book

You’ll most likely have some idea of the broader aspects/topic of your book. Some examples might be:

You’re a speaker on corporate communication

You’ve discovered a diet that works for you

You’re an expert on the history of the USA

But now you need to narrow the topic down further.

Firstly, put yourself in the mind of the reader. Why do people READ nonfiction? And how does that relate to your idea?

They want an answer to a specific problem. This explains the popularity of weight loss and self-help books every January. What specific problem will your book solve?

They are interested in a specific topic and buy lots of books on that area. I have a ton of books on writing, and most likely, so do you! What sub-categories does your book fit into on the online bookstore and is this a niche that people are buying lots of books in?

They like the writer. This is why anyone with a large platform will likely get a book deal. Just check out those YouTubers, celebs, and anyone with a big enough blog or podcast or TED talk. If you have an audience, you can get a book deal because people will buy and read it anyway. Do you have an audience already? What do they want from you?

These questions will help you define your target market, your ideal reader.

If you already have an author platform, a blog, podcast, speaking or other business, then you will already know who your readers are, but for many nonfiction writers, a consideration of audience comes after the book is written and they are wondering how to market it. But understanding who your reader is in advance of writing will help a lot, and any time spent on it now will help later on.

Next, research your niche on the bookstores.

You should know of 5-10 books that are similar to the book you want to write, or at least are targeted to the same audience.

Search for those books on Amazon and then look at the sub-categories on the left-hand side of the page. These are where the book sits in the virtual store. You can then click into those sub-categories and find other books that are in the same niche.

These questions should help you narrow down the specific topic you want to tackle in the book as well as your target market. Expanding on my earlier examples, the more specific topics might be:

Employee engagement: how to communicate to employees in order to drive your business to success. Aimed at CEOs and corporate managers.

Easy gluten free and vegan dieting for weight loss and health. Aimed at busy women who have struggled with other diets and can’t spend a long time in the kitchen preparing food.

Military history of the USA in the 20th century, and how that has shaped the current situation. Aimed at men who buy in the military history category and intended to be the first in a series on US military history.

(3) Brainstorm your table of contents and get into the research fun!

Now you have your specific topic, you can brainstorm what areas you will explore in detail in the book. At this point, you want to go wild, and just put everything down. You’ll likely cut a lot of it out, and some of your ideas might even end up in another book.

For example, when I wrote Business for Authors: How to be an Author Entrepreneur, I had a whole section on mindset. But it turned into a monster topic so I carved that part off and am currently writing a separate book on the psychology of writing.

This part of the process is where I start to use Scrivener. I create a project for the book and a document per idea. Many of those will be concatenated or discarded later but I will just write down anything that comes to mind at this stage. You can use a Word document or Evernote or physical index cards, but you do need to capture everything at this stage, even just a few words per idea.

This is also the time to focus on research and expanding your knowledge on whatever topic you’re writing on. I usually read a number of other books on the topic to get more ideas, and because I’m a research junkie, I can definitely spend a lot of time on this part of the process!

Some authors can get stuck in this phase for way too long, so set some deadlines and make sure you keep focused on the final result. Click here for more productivity tips.

(4) Decide on your book title

I always like to know my book title upfront, but of course, you can decide on it later.

Nonfiction book titles have an advantage over fiction because they can be keyword rich and specific enough to be found through search as well as still making sense to the reader, whereas fiction can be more difficult to title with related keywords.

For example, my thriller, Gates of Hell, is more likely to be found by those shopping in the sub-categories of action adventure and supernatural thriller, rather than by people specifically searching for “gates of hell.”

Readers of nonfiction often shop by sub-category or by keyword search e.g. my book, How to Market a Book, is titled specifically for keyword search reasons and comes up at the #1 spot on Amazon for that search term.

But how do you know what readers are searching for?

Just go to Amazon and do some research using the search bar within the Kindle sub-category. Start typing and there will be a text drop-down that includes the most popular search terms people are looking for.

This will give you some ideas as to what people want, and you may find it surprising!

I spend a good amount of time thinking about different words and checking them out this way before I decide on a title. Longer keywords (keyword phrases) are sometimes even more useful, so I will just add a letter on the end of the search e.g. gluten free a, gluten free b, gluten free c, in order to see what else is there.

Write down as many relevant keywords as you can find, even if you don’t use them in the title, as these will be useful later if you self-publish.

(5) Create your first draft

You may already have a lot of material for the book in some form. If you’re a speaker on a topic, you might have a PowerPoint deck or handouts. You might have piles of notes for your research or lists of recipes. Or it might just all be in your head.

Now you have to turn that into a first draft…and this can be harder than it sounds! Most people who want to write a book never finish one, and completing a first draft is usually where they fall down.

My definition of a first draft is a version of your book that can be read end to end and stands as a coherent whole. It doesn’t have “fill this in later,” or “write other section here,” in it.

Yes, it will be rough, and it will need editing, but to get to a finished book, you need a first draft to work on. Your finished book can be equated to Michelangelo’s David, a perfect statue that emerged from the rough block of marble. But first you have to create that block of marble, and for authors, that’s the first draft.

Here are some tips for getting it done:

Dictate your book.

This is particularly good if you’re a speaker already and you have a lot of material in PowerPoint slides or even recordings of your talks or just rough notes. Speak into a digital recorder, create an mp3 file, and then use a service like speechpad.com to get that transcribed into text, which you can then take into the editing phase.

This is what J. Thorn and I did recently to create the first draft of Co-writing a Book: Collaboration and Co-creation for Authors. We recorded a discussion around specific chapter topics and then paid for transcription, which we then wrangled into book form. You can also use Dragon Dictate or other real-time dictation tools, as discussed in a podcast interview with Monica Leonelle or check out her book, Dictate Your Book.

Use timed writing sessions.

This method changed my own writing life as if you allocate a specific time to write when you’re not allowed to do anything else, you WILL produce something!

I generally write first draft material away from the desk I use for other things – like blogging, podcasting, email, social media, and other business stuff. I find it easier to create elsewhere so I go to a library or a coffee shop. I set my timer, plug in my earphones and turn on rain and thunderstorms, and write.

For nonfiction, it can help to focus on a chapter at a time during these timed writing sessions. If you write 2000 words per session and you’re aiming for 60,000 words, it will take 30 writing sessions. Do the math and schedule the sessions. No excuses!

Monitor your progress.

I use Scrivener flags to indicate my progress through the draft. When I brainstorm topics and just dump words into the chapter, I leave the document as a default white. When I have “processed” the chapter and written it into a first draft state, I add a yellow flag. I use blue and green flags for different parts of the editing process.

Once the whole project has yellow flags, my first draft is done and I can move into editing (covered further below).

You can use Scrivener to set word count goals for the whole book and also for each writing session to keep you accountable. I’m pretty much obsessive about checking these per session as I love watching the status bar turn green!

Once you have a first draft, you can start to think seriously about the next steps.

For nonfiction authors, you will want to consider how the book fits into your existing business, or how you can use it to build one.

(6) Design and incorporate your funnel and back-end products

A “funnel” is a way to direct your readers through a journey with you, preferably through your books, services, and other products, so that they are a happy customer and you make a decent return.

For fiction authors, the funnel usually involves a series or books in a similar genre as well as getting people onto your email list.

For example, if you check out Stone of Fire for free on any of the online bookstores, you will then be prompted to get Day of the Vikings for free if you sign up to my email list. Stone of Fire is also the first in the seven-book ARKANE series, so you might go on and read the others if you enjoyed the first. That’s about the extent of it, and fiction authors rarely have more premium products to offer.

But nonfiction authors can design a much more lucrative funnel to back-end products, which are separate to the book.

For example, our communication consultant author has a lot of potential for up-sell as she is aiming at the corporate market. She could have the following:

Nonfiction book – priced $6.99 – $9.99 as a way for people to discover her work and build her credibility (this is a niche where people expect to pay more for books).

The book offers people a specific audio and video download if they sign up on her email list.

This email list then offers a series of video tutorials that lead into a premium course, which she sells for $499.

She offers 1:1 corporate consulting at $1000 per session based on the expertise in her book.

She offers one-day seminars on site to corporates at $20,000 per day.

This is a pretty typical funnel for a nonfiction author aimed at the corporate market, but many authors aren’t selling at this level. So let’s take our gluten free cook. She could have:

Nonfiction book – 101 delicious gluten free, vegan, easy and fast recipes for the busy woman who wants to lose weight – priced $2.99 – $6.99.

The book offers extra recipes and a shopping list with favorite brands and maybe a free video download if they sign up on her email list.

This email list then offers a series of video tutorials that lead into a premium cookery course, which she sells for $99. The email list also contains recipes that utilize kitchen equipment that she can link affiliate codes to and make commission on.

Or perhaps she offers a membership site, where the customer pays $9.99 a month for access to new recipes and tips and a community where she can get support around this type of life change. Communities with support are really popular and can be lucrative, but they do take a lot of work to manage.

Of course, if you want to become an authority in your niche, you can also focus on writing multiple books under the same sub-category, providing a similar funnel to the fiction author model. This is most likely what our military history author would do.

If these types of business models interest you, check out How to Make a Living with Your Writing, which goes into more detail on how you can build this type of business yourself.

(7) Get a professional book cover designed

You could do this step as soon as you decide on your book title, and it’s definitely worth doing early so you can use it as marketing collateral on your website.

For nonfiction book covers:

Look at the top 100 books in your sub-category and take screen prints of the ones that you like and resonate with. The current trend for nonfiction, certainly in the business niche, is to have very clear text and one dominant image. You can give these screen prints to your designer as a guide for the type of cover you’re looking for.

Remember that many readers shop on devices and see the cover at thumbnail size, so there is little point putting quotes in small text on eBook covers. You can always add it onto your print version at the publishing stage, but remember to optimize for browsing at a small image size.

Research book cover designers and check out their portfolios to see if they work in your genre. Here’s my own curated list of designers, although of course, there are many more.

Get feedback from your target market. I go back and forth on this as sometimes the feedback can just be confusing! But if you use a design service like 99Designs, then you will get multiple designs and can do a poll to your email list and social media followers. You can also use a service like Pickfu, where you can get opinions from people outside of your network.

Finally, don’t design your cover yourself unless you are a designer already. A pro book cover will make a HUGE difference to the way your book is perceived. When you get the book cover files, get a 3D image as well as a flat one, as you will use these in a lot of different marketing materials going forward.

(8) Go through the editing process

A first draft is just that. You now have to go through the process of turning that draft into a professional finished product.

Here’s an overview of my own editing process:

Self-editing. I work in Scrivener and once my whole project has yellow flags, my first draft is done and I print the whole book. I do my first self-editing pass on paper, old-school style! I scribble all over it and make notes where I need to write more and restructure the book, often rearranging chapters. Scrivener makes this very easy as you just drag and drop to rearrange chapters. [If you need help with learning how to use Scrivener effectively, check out the Learn Scrivener Fast course, which is excellent.]

Rewrites and more self-editing. Once I’ve been through the whole book on paper, I make all the changes back into Scrivener and often print and go through the same process again until I am happy with the book.

Beta readers. These are readers in your target market who read the book and offer comments on the content. For my book Career Change, I gave an early copy to people working in my department in the day job who I knew were dissatisfied with what they were doing. They came back with questions and suggestions for what to include as additional material. After feedback from beta readers, you may do further rewrites to incorporate any changes you agree with.

Professional editor. There are different types of editors and it will depend on your confidence with your draft as to which you use. You can engage a structural editor to help you with the overall arc of the book. A line edit is the classic red pen approach to the detail of the book, and you can also get technical editors to help with terminology. After feedback from the editor/s, you will likely do another rewrite to incorporate any changes you agree with. If it’s your first book, the editing process will be hard on your ego, but remember, the editor’s job is to make your book better and help you learn the craft. Every dollar I have spent on editing has been worth it and I continue to use editors for every book. The more eyes on your book before publication, the better it will be on launch.

After I have made all the changes, I send the book to a proofreader who does the final read before publication. This is to avoid the inevitable typos that occur in rewriting. Of course, some will always slip through but I like having this final check in the process.

You can find my own curated list of editors and proofreaders here, as well as more articles on the editing process.

Congratulations! You’ve now finished a nonfiction book!

This article originally appeared on The Creative Penn.

Joanna Penn

Joanna Penn is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling thriller author, creative entrepreneur, podcaster, professional speaker, and travel junkie. For more, visit www.jfpenn.com

#write #craft #nonfiction #editing #writing

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huikyeongx · 7 years

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veganism

i feel that the reason why some people fail at this lifestyle is because they dove head first into it without a way to work themselves into it. veganism can be challenging to those who have eaten animal products their whole lives or is from a culture where animal products are a thing. so if you are someone who wants to make the transition; here are a few tips.

first: ask yourself, why do i want to be vegan? is it for ethical reasons? is it for dietary reasons? (as in~i want to feel better, healthier and more alive as opposed to “i want to lose weight”)

now that you have established your reason for transitioning; ask yourself: is it something i can commit to for a lifetime? the truth is, veganism is not meant to be a here one day, gone the next type of diet, heck it is not even a diet. it’s a lifestyle change, mostly to those who do it for ethical reasons. if you are doing it for weight loss reasons then you might need to reevaluate your reasons.

when making the jump, the thing you need to leave at the door is the diet mindset. having a diet mindset while wanting to go vegan is a bad combination. it is not good for you and the animals and the environment end up getting hurt in the process. plus it is going to make you more likely to return to your previous way of eating once you get to your goal weight.

take dieting out of the equation and make this something bigger. make it about your health, your way of being and how good you will feel. everything else will come into play.

next let’s touch on transitioning smoothly. many people tend to jump into this lifestyle either by watching a documentary or what not and with no clear plan in mind. people often get discouraged when it doesn’t plan out like they think it would. the truth is, it is not this magical diet to where it is so easy a caveman can do it. it takes not only willpower but it takes an open mind as well.

if you are planning to transition; I would recommend becoming vegetarian first. That means no meat products but you can still have milk and eggs or anything that has them in it’s ingredients. I say this because it will be hard to give up certain things and going slow s the best thing to do. remember this is not a race, a popularity contest or a diet.

other ways you can transition:

Vegtill4: Eat vegan until 4pm. Anything eaten after 4pm can be whatever you want.

5/2 aka weekend vegan: eat whatever you want for 5 days, then on the weekend eat vegan products. you can even switch and do the animal products on the weekend and vegan for the 5 days

Meatless (insert day here): Pretty self explanatory.

let’s talk culture. some of us have grown up in a culture where it thrives off of certain food. i am from a country that thrives off of fish. however, i never found it difficult to eat things that were part of my culture and still be vegan. but for others, it’s not easy. that is when the transition ideas come into play.

also, think about your favorite dish and think of ways to make it vegan. you will find that it is a fun experience and you still can connect with your culture.

last but not least: do not be a perfectionist! do not get upset because the waiter cooks your food on the same stove as the steaks or micromanage other people's lifestyles. this is not an all or nothing lifestyle. being overly critical is not only going to make you seem selfish (with is not what veganism is about) but it also deters others from even trying. do be kind and compassionate to other humans. humans are animals to.

i hope my rambling helps!

#veganism #vegan #vegetables

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lilac-milk-moon · 4 years

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Caregiving and Finances — Sitting Poolside with Kristen Edens

The Sitting Poolside interview series

When people think of retirement, scenes of beachfront homes, rounds of golf, or reading by the pool come to mind. Sitting Poolside is a series of interviews that challenges that notion and other financial misperceptions. The series name pokes fun at the stereotypes, but it’s also an opportunity to discuss people’s real stories and unique insights. So grab a piña colada and pull up your lounge chair!

Kristen Edens from KristenEdens.com/ManagingMidlife

The middle period of life can be full of many transitions and changes. In a recent chat with Kristen Edens, she mentioned how challenging balancing caregiving and finances has been. For this installment of the Sitting Poolside Interview Series, I invited Kristen to share her story.

On her site, Kristen talks about how she found her “why” in life. She helps her readers discover who they are and what their purpose is for their lives.

Mr. SR (MSR): Kristen, please tell us about your experience and what inspired you to start kristeneden.com/ManagingMidlife?

Reinvention starts with a business

Kristen Edens (KE): My business and blog was a process that began in the mid-2000s. I was employed as an exercise physiologist and making 62 cents above minimum wage. I loved the job but wasn’t making the difference I wanted to make for people. At that time, I didn’t know what “that difference” was going to be, but I knew something was missing.

Caregiving introduces itself

As I was figuring this out, my attempts at fixing a failing marriage had run dry and I divorced in late 2009. Through this heartbreaking experience, I moved across the country to start over, creating Kris the Scribbler, a copywriting service. At the same time, I became a long-distance caregiver for my father who lived 500 miles away. Once a month, I travelled to help my mother as she coped with my father’s injuries and his care. As a new freelancer, I felt the events leading up to this were a good sign to build a business and help my parents.

Caregiving X 1.5

Two years later, my daughter moved in with her newborn child. In addition to entrepreneurship, I am still a long-distance caregiver and caring for my granddaughter. I was deep into the Sandwich Generation lifestyle – a term given to individuals who care for parents and their children. I’m still pleased to have freelancing to support me.

Slow Growth

During 2010 to 2015, Kris the Scribbler made very slow progress. I worked long hours balancing work, life, and caregiving. I acquired many one-time jobs, and the occasional retainer client. Many tell me I need to blog since I am such a great writer. The problem: I wasn’t motivated. It made no sense that I could enjoy the process for my clients yet couldn’t motivate myself. In mid-2012, I made a vow to write 2 blogs per month with topics on networking, writing for business, entrepreneurship, creating the ideal newsletter, and grammar issues. Still, enthusiasm and desire were absent.

Hints of Change

A change came following an editorial assignment for one of my clients. With my media pass in hand, I attended FinCon 2012 (held in St. Louis). I was intrigued with the money and media themes and felt I had found a group I could relate to—the pursuit of financial independence. The only trouble: no time to get involved. I promise myself to eventually get involved with FinCon.

Between caregiving, entrepreneurship, and some self-care, my days were full. Part of my debt-free success was due to living a frugal, minimalist lifestyle. Another part was living with and sharing expenses with my daughter, cousin, and her roommate. We all worked together to ensure bills were paid fairly. However, personalities sometimes clashed and we shared a few difficult conversations.

Caregiving 2.5

The caregiving bug strikes again when in late 2014, my partner suffers a workplace injury and is disabled. By now, I’m frazzled, frustrated, and wildly concerned about finances. To help myself cope, I start writing about my experience as a 50 year old entrepreneur, caregiving, and the quest for financial freedom.

Something Amazing Happens

That’s when my blogging got noticed! Readers reached out to me to find out how I managed it all and kept my sanity. They wanted to know more. They wanted to learn from me. Many asked when my next blog was coming out and what it was going to be about. Not only that, many shared their personal stories with me, quickly filling an editorial calendar with plenty of blogging themes. My interest took off and I received a double benefit: 1) sharing my experiences and frustrations, and 2) helping others.

I found a way to make a difference!

MSR: How did the events up to now lead to Managing Midlife?

KE: Inspired by the response, I repurposed my business and website to KristenEdens.com with the blog, Managing Midlife, within the site. I had considered separating the two as separate entities, but combined them as one integrated site due to time constraints and technical skills. I researched many blogs and businesses, and saw a fairly even split for both options. Creating one site was my best option.

Following my father’s death in 2015, my mother suffered depression and loneliness, so I continued to visit her monthly. My daughter and granddaughter had moved to their own apartment, yet still relied on me for ongoing help (can’t blame the daughter for not wanting to live with her mother!)

By 2018, business as Kristen Edens LLC is attracting more clients yet still not providing the windfall of income and financial independence that everyone claims. It is TOUGH to balance business and caregiving! Yet I still had plenty to blog about.

That year, I decided to treat myself to attend FinCon2018 in Orlando, Florida. It was a financial pinch to attend, but I had given up so much the past 6 years that I considered this a much-needed retreat for myself. The biggest takeaway following the event was the personal goal to win the Plutus Award for Best Baby Boomer blog and to become a speaker for 2019.

Caregiving 2.5 plus Determination

My goal kept me moving forward. I acquired one retainer client and occasional content writing and consulting clients. After 4 years of long-distance caregiving for my mother, she finally moved closer December 2018. Unfortunately, her health took a steady decline and I spent much of my time continuing care for her. My business, blog, and caregiving topped 80 hours per week. Even with this grueling schedule, I was nominated and eventually became a finalist for the 2019 Plutus Awards for Best Baby Boomer blog! I was also accepted as a FinCon speaker for a discussion based on my blog, FIReD: Financial Independence ReDefined After 50.

This was a very exciting time for me, although bittersweet. While my mother’s health continued to decline, I still chose to attend FinCon 2019. I got the word my mother died just two hours before the Plutus Awards ceremony.

MSR: After going through that journey, what have you learned?

KE: I can summarize the lessons learned into 4 areas:

1. Sacrifices are a necessity

Amazingly, from my father’s death until my mother’s death, I consistently created weekly blogs. However, I could no longer keep up with my e-newsletter, and my client load was limited. It was very difficult to manage all the things I had to do PLUS be a business owner. Clients, and therefore, income, took a hit. Be prepared to make sacrifices and determine where these will fall.

2. Avoid the compare and despair mindset

Although I worked my tail off to build a business, I wasn’t making the “6-figure” income many freelancers brag about. I fell into the despair and despise mindset: despair by compare, and despise the 6-figure claims. I had several cuss and cry sessions, but realized this was wasted time. Everyone’s story is different and it’s better to share your experiences with the goal to help others, rather than brood about it.

3. “Me time” is critical

Speaking of time, “me time” is critical. I made sure I ate well, slept as long as I needed, and maintained my exercise. My preferred me time was solitude. Favorite hobbies lost time too, but this experience helped me to identify what I valued most. Determine what your me time is and add it to your day.

4. Prepare yourself and your family for emergencies

Emergencies come in all shapes, sizes, and unexpected times. Gather all paperwork and passwords into a central location where a key person has access. Create a backup system of contact people, including friends, family, financial, medical, and all bills or debt. Have a trusted loved one listed as TOD (transfer on death), POA (power of attorney), and all financial accounts. Update yearly—without fail! Accept the hard truth that you will eventually die! Hiding from this won’t help anyone. Tell your loved ones your wishes should something happen to you. How do you want your body, finances, personal belongings, and anything else important to you managed before, during, and after this event?

MSR: How would you advise readers to prepare (financially and emotionally) for that caregiving period of life?

KE: First and foremost, take care of yourself! Perhaps it’s the exercise physiologist in me speaking, but your health is the greatest gift to yourself, those you love, and those who love you. Find your support team. Mine were aunts and uncles whom I would often call to vent, cuss, and cry. Best of all: they listened, loved, and offered anything they could to help. Most often I just needed someone to listen.

For the financial side of preparation, understand that frugal and minimalist are not negative lifestyle habits. After helping my mother downsize 3 times, I realized how much stuff sits idle in our homes. Things we craved at one point eventually gets forgotten and shoved out of sight. Take a hard look at your belongings and separate the stuff from the vitals. It’s tough! Emotions get in the way. In an emergency, however, when you start looking at stuff to sell or get rid of, emotions can exacerbate the situation. Explore frugal and minimalist habits to adopt and simplify life.

MSR: What is your vision for the Managing Midlife site?

KE: Since my FinCon presentation, FIReD is gaining momentum. I am reconnecting with readers and followers to hear their thoughts and stories about family, finance, caregiving, and second acts. I’m enjoying the many interviews and feedback, plus generating lots of articles and information to share with this audience.

I may eventually separate Managing Midlife from KristenEdens.com, but will put most focus into creating helpful articles. With caregiving duties lessened, I have more time to research, interview, and write for Managing Midlife. My next goal is to again be a speaker at FinCon and win the Plutus Award. I will also resurrect my newsletter.

Additionally, I will continue to seek freelance clients. If an opportunity comes my way, I am willing to work full-time (preferably remote) for a local company as this will help slow down the demands on me.

Without a doubt, Managing Midlife will continue as the voice for the 50+ audience. There is so much I can do to help and this is my way to make a difference!

MSR: Thank you for sharing your family’s story, Kristen. I know that caregiving can be one of the most challenging periods of life. Your insights are really practical and encouraging.

Congratulations on being a Plutus Award finalist! I look forward to seeing how your site and community continue to grow.

The post Caregiving and Finances — Sitting Poolside with Kristen Edens appeared first on Semi-Retire Plan.

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