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likealittleheartbeat · 5 months

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Gay Friendship

I'm feeling so warm in my heart after watching a few episodes of the Thai gay reality dating show, "Boys Like Boys."

There's so much discourse around gay happy endings, but I think I just crave gay friendship, whether happy ending or not. Shows like Boys Like Boys, Only Friends, Looking, and even the Netflix Queer Eye depict the building of intimate friendships between imperfect human beings who have been through shit. After all, it's not the suffering that's unbearable, it's the belief that we must shoulder our burdens and successes alone. They each take the romance premise as a starting point (BLB is a dating show, Only Friends is a BL series, Looking follows a classic romance plot, and the first episode of QE opens with the team trying to help a man get his life together to win back his love) but the bond among the group becomes the more central motor of the overarching narrative for the audience.

One literary scholar, Amy Hungerford at Yale, in a lecture on Philip Roth discussed how homosexuality in narratives has been historically perceived as threatening to the push-and-pull of difference and otherness created by heterosexuality that urges a story along with adequate dynamic tension. (She doesn't say it should be this way, only that it has previously been thought of this way). Even when gay narratives come into the frame, they often go back to the same kind of heterosexual romance plot and place some other kind of difference between the two characters for them to overcome (think the class distinctions in Maurice) or the plot is more about the conflict between the heterosexual society and the gay character (can they assimilate and be accepted by the straights like Love, Simon, or will we get a tragic ending where they're never accepted like Brokeback Mountain, there's a third option where they stand up to an unaccepting society and go off into a new community but within the confines of the plot device of individual vs. society, this would still be considered tragic). Centralizing a group friendship reorients these plot traditions in a compelling way for the audience.

Focusing on a developing friend group supplies adequate tension and conflict with a dynamic of individual vs. society. Rather than a heterosexual society, it emphasizes the society of other gays (within a broader heterosexually-oriented world). This society of gays is a more nebulous group as far as what they might believe and represent for an individual. It changes the conversation from a binary between straight acceptance vs. gay identity into a conversation about one's place of belonging within the broad arms of gay experience. Boys Like Boys has contestants on a scale from unclear gender identities to masculine bi guys who aren't used to spending time with gays or sharing their feelings (and those two share a room and become besties on the show. Race, class, and openness all range among the contestants, too. We watch as they attempt to discuss these differences and take care of one another, even as discomfort and conflict arise. It's heartwarming and heartbreaking to hear how novel and meaningful these relationships become for the contestants.

The friendship doesn't erase the desire for romance in any of these shows. People are still trying to date and find love. In fact, the friendship factor adds tension to the proceedings. Whereas heterosexual dynamics have an immediate thrust from the assumption that gender difference will lead to eventual romance rather than friendship, the gay relationships developed in these shows are much more unclear for those involved and the audience. Both friendship and romance seem equally important, and you hope and worry at the same time about friendships transforming into something with a more sexual thrust. You have to consider how a romantic relationship with someone within or outside of the friend group will impact the whole group. How much time will they be spending with the group while they're dating someone? What if feelings aren't reciprocated, will that disrupt the friendships? What if two people are crushing on the same person? How does a friend group survive this kind of turmoil?! And how can you tell the difference between a friendly attraction and a romantic attraction!? These all become heightened in this gay friend group dynamic.

Friendship also fails to change the broader world (even though the Platonic ideal and Forster might have it otherwise). Oppressive and marginalizing systems still chug on. Families are still families. Even the gays within the friend group are still flawed people who say the wrong thing and make mistakes. A friend group isn't a cure, it's a cushion. Nor is a friend group a found family. The friends in these shows continue to seek connection and regard for their own families, or, if not possible--Bobby from QE is a good example of this--they work on building lives and family structures outside of the friend group. (Whether you like it or not, friend groups are pretty weak social structures for funding those basic needs that we expect families to provide and support--food, shelter, purposeful employment, etc.) Emphasizing a place for family might sound like reverting to the nuclear family model but family can mean many different structures, check out wikipedia for some ideas lol. Basically the family provides security and structure. The friend group is more dynamic with its structure and has more focus on emotional support than life's necessities.

Friendship, with its emotional purpose, becomes narratively powerful in these gay stories when one appreciates both the loneliness and instability with which gay people enter into gay society. Most have had to recognize how they differ from, not only the people that raised them and provided them security but the laws and traditions that were supposed to embrace and guide them as they grew older. Gay friendship offers a respite where comfort and imagination are possible despite hardship. It's not transformation of the world, but its the balm you need (and can return to) to go out with patience and compassion and deal with life, and the opportunity for you to offer that same gift to others who are different but like you.

#queer platonic love #queer history #boys like boys #looking #queer eye #only friends

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homunculusalphonse · 6 months

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You know, I've compared Connie to Sadie (and Sapphire) before, but I just now realized how similar she also is to Lars.

[IDs: From left to right, Connie and Lars crying, talking about their loneliness. /End IDs]

Connie and Lars start out as lonely characters. Neither of them have friends besides Steven and Sadie respectively. Connie, however, is a lot more introverted, while Lars does his best to socialize with the Cool Kids, yet pretending to be someone he isn't. Even then, both of them really care about outside opinions, hence why Connie, for instance, doesn't like dancing in front of other people, and Lars for most of the show hides his baking - which is not because of skill, but because of what it represents to him.

And then you have their roles in Steven's life. Connie thinks Steven's "magical destiny" is amazing, while Lars doesn't think much of it. But regardless of their feelings, they become more and more involved with it, to the point of their lives being at risk multiple times. Connie is more prepared to fight back while Lars spends most of the time running away from conflict. Though what I think solidifies their similarities is their big moments alongside Steven on Homeworld.

Besides being stuck in a prison to starve (even if she's very familiar with being grounded, obviously that is still messed up), Connie has to fight the mindless bodies of the Crystal Gems, and she's forced to watch White Diamond remove Steven's gem out of his body without being able to do anything. Connie is the only one who can help Steven reach out to his gem self. And as far as we're concerned, Connie is also the only one who knows about all this, since the gems don't have any memories of it, and Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis only arrive when everything is already solved. It's likely that Steven never told them, and I don't think Connie has, either. Unfortunately, on screen, we never see how much her experiences affected her. Connie is even younger than Steven and she also went through a lot. Not to mention she's basically the only one who stands up for Steven in Future, being the voice of reason while the gems could only pity themselves.

Similarly, Lars is also helpless during The Trial, unable to even hear anything given his head was inside a bubble. Lars had even less context of Homeworld here, while Connie had more experience. Still, like her, he also had to throw himself in danger to protect Steven and the Off Colors, who were all going to be killed for merely existing. While yes, that's a big character development for Lars, and I'm proud of him for sticking up for people he barely knew, it's also tragic that a human teenager with no powers and fighting skills ended up saving everyone, at the cost of his own life. He also becomes the mature voice of reason for standing up for Steven and letting him go back home without him for Steven's safety. Hell, Lars was willing to end up alone in the Kindergarten so everyone else could go to Earth.

Lars says, "You brought me back to life! Just let me be somebody who deserved it". I can't help but remember Connie internalizing she should prioritize Steven's life over hers in Sworn to the Sword. At the very least, she's eventually taught to fight alongside him instead of sacrificing herself for him. Interestingly, like Lars becomes the captain of the Off Colors, Connie briefly becomes the leader in The New Crystal Gems. She's not patient like Steven is, but she shows herself to be organized and calculating, and she's not afraid to put the gems in their place, as we see later in Future.

If anything, I feel like Lars would get along well with Connie. Although they're insecure, they're not afraid to call something or someone out when they have to (Connie snaps at Steven for minimizing the danger they were in way back in Bubble Buddies, for that matter!). They also realize how unfair the gems (and Homeworld in general) are towards Steven - Lars gets to see Steven's most vulnerable side when they were kidnapped, realizing how afraid he really is underneath, so he insists that Steven needs to be safe first and foremost. Connie rightfully calls the gems out in The New Crystal Gems, and later on in I Am My Monster, because no one has ever actually sticked up for Steven all these years. No one has dedicated themselves for him the same way he does for everyone.

Basically, Lars would be a great ally to Connie, especially when it comes to Steven. Again, I always felt it was unfair that a young girl was the only one who snapped the gems out of their pity party. I know she already had Greg as a human ally in the middle of the gem stuff, but she could definitely get some use of Lars' no-nonsense attitude, too. She could confide in him with her fears and trauma, knowing she's not entirely alone.

In short: Connie and Lars are Steven's best friends. You can't convince me otherwise. /half-joking

#captain's log #steven universe #meta #su meta #connie maheswaran #lars barriga #i rarely see ppl talking about their potential friendship #and that makes me sad

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billiemaed-blog · 2 years

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WEEK 6 : THE SHORT FILM Questions around my film

1) How does your work use the short film format to its advantage?

My film uses the basic 3 act structure but starts late and gets out early. In other words, the build up to Kims discomfort is not really eplored in the film as there is not enough time. We hear bits of it through her conversation with Annie. At the end of the film, we do not see Kim reunited with Jack. But the clasping of the locket implies her heartfelt longing and new understanding of her relationship.

2.) How does the film use brevity in its storytelling?

The dailogue is fairly short and minimal. I have tried to bring in objects/ creatures as non-verbal symbols. For instance, the insects represent the concept of control. Needing to squash or kill something instead of living with it or collaborating and going with the flow.

3.) How does it use visuals, rather than dialogue, to tell the story?

Spaces and locations are used to suggest feelngs. The underwater scenes represent immersing oneself or letting go. As soon as one panics underwater, things can go terrible wrong, whilst if one remains calm it can be a very blissful experience. The exercise of diving amplifies the concept of control in comparison to letting go/ bliss. The day dreams that kim has in the temple are visual tales of the past. Offering the viewer a window into past moments in her and jakes relationship.

4. What is the genre? - Drama

5. Who is the protagonist ? - Kim

6. How does the protagonist change during the story?

Kim goes from being controlling, anxious , jealous and unhappy to awakened and in touch with her heart. This only happens through a very painful, tragic experience which brings her to her knees and forces a sort of exorcism to occur.

Who and/or what is the antagonist?

-The antagonist in Kim’s mind is the New York art world that has turned him into something he never used to be . If he hadn’t been noticed, things could go back to normal and she could have him all to herself .

- the real antagonist is, however, herself. Her control and anxiety. I used the insects as a symbol of control , to compare her and Jack’s relationships to the insects as a way of illustrating their relationship to control.

Q7. Internal Story:

Kim starts off feeling out of place, powerless and unloved. she is anxious and jealous and trying to get attention in all the wrong ways.

She makes a move to regain power and assert herself. A painful and tragic experience shows her that she cannot control the world and people around her and the more she tries, the worse things become.

This creates a distinction between love and control that she cannot ignore. She is brought to her knees, her heart opened in somewhat of a spiritual exorcism.

This awakening eventually leads to her loss of control and eventual freedom and joy.

External Story :

Externally, Kim cannot face being in New York whilst Jack becomes famous. It is too triggering. She does not partake in the parties he is holding and cannot embrace his success.

She flies herself to Thailand to complete an open water dive certificate and create some space between her and Jack.

In an attempt to save her dive buddy, Seth, Kim pushes him into the line of fire of a jet ski and he does not survive. The accident is therefore partially her fault and she struggles with the repercussions of it.

Q7. How is dialogue used in the film in terms of subtext and plot?

The film focuses heavily on relationships and therefore dialogue is unavoidable and important. The dynamics and subtext of these relationships come through largely in the dialogue.

Q8. Structure. The film has a clear 3 ACT structure. The first inciting incident is the huge fight that Kim and Jack have at Jack’s apartment. This incident prompts Kim to book her flight to Thailand which takes us into Act 2.

In act 2, The death of Seth is the second inciting incident which leads us to Kim’s breakdown and eventual healing.

Q9. Narrative resolution.

Both resolutions of the internal story happen in a more visual way .

Kim clasping her pendant from Jack as she lies on the beach gives us the sense that she has connected to her heart and is committed to rediscovering the relationship from a place of love and authenticity.

Kim lets a crab crawl up her leg. Using the symbolism of the insect as control, this represents her “letting things be “ , succuming to fate and letting go of her tight grip on reality.

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hanzajesthanza · 2 years

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why baptism of fire is my favorite book out of the saga:

the overall setting in a warzone is well-written and thoughtful, and though tragic and horrific, its very 'realistic' and haunting. the fear, the eventual indifference... how the war-torn landscape influences the characters and their actions and narratives is compelling.

the pacing is great, chapters flow into one another so well it took me actual years to decidedly separate them by chapter in my head. it’s also not too long of a book and it feels like cozy, easy reading. the journey of the characters is not boring or full of “filler”, because plot-relevant stuff keeps occuring.

the theme of a “baptism of fire” is reiterated throughout the novel, but you as the reader are not hit over the head with it extensively or annoyingly (coughs... like in... time of contempt)...

ciri is spiralling downwards (no spiral pun intended) as her trauma builds, but she hasn’t yet faced the powerless gore-strewn tragedies which are ttos and lotl, since bonhart isnt here yet she can be as evil as she wants and its interesting to see her character get caught in the frenzy. she is practically rebuilding her identity from scratch outside of the constraints of moral guidance, and “falka” is overtaking her.

yennefer finally receives solo scenes as an individual character in which we get her point of view and we learn how thoughtful and intelligent she is, she is thrown into a political frying pan fighting for her fucking life with the lodge of sorceresses and we finally get some answers to ciri’s background.

geralt’s character is at his lowest since the beginning of the series, and he has a choice to make in terms of how he wants to react to losing everything and who he wants to become during this painful climb back up. his utter devastation at losing his child and his lover are ‘realistically’ written and he says and does unlikable, prickly things - yet he never becomes a bad person and his ethics (and motivation to act in the face of injustice) actually grow stronger during this period. we as the readers can hate him and think he’s a dumbass and laugh at him as he tries to shun company.

best dandelion characterization in the series as he helps geralt the most and is the least misogynist in this novel. his stubbornness to not leave geralt’s side is actually admirable and ethical, and we get to see his and geralt’s friendship evolve in this new situation, and dandelion repositions himself in terms of what the role of a best friend is

milva barring

emiel regis

i already put milva, but the conversation scene between her and geralt with "i cannot help you..." "you just did. now go, please. go away, witcher before you destroy my entire world"

i already put regis, but his value as a comic relief character is astounding

cahir is finally introduced as a side protagonist, and is actually just some guy. he proves himself brilliantly at the end of the book. and there is no introduction or even *thought* of cahiri

fish soup scene. everyone collectively makes fun of geralt and we as a reader are laughing it up alongside them.

zoltan, percival, and the rest of their company are introduced as silly comic relief side characters, but represent a jewel of optimism in the side of the death-strewn landscape and keep being these beacons of humanitarianism and “good” in an evil world. considering that they are side characters and disappear for most of the novel, this says something about how goodness is rare, but not impossible to find, it does exist...

it’s short but thank god for that, the scene of djikstra and his spies finding vilgefortz’s lab is horror-filled and shocking, but sets vilgefortz up well as an absolutely wretched villain

the ending battle scene is action-packed and full of drama, but it has deeper messages than what is said on the surface, it has meaning and intention behind the character decisions. huge anti-war and anti-imperialism sentiments

it’s admittedly the first book of the witcher saga that i read, so i’m incredibly biased :B

#the short stories are better in terms of writing though. but baptism of fire is my favorite for this reason #and yeah im not elaborating on milva and regis bc it would take up the entire post. im sorry #for a quick round i would say milva's pov is interesting to read and her character is such an interesting dive into how character tropes can #actually become harmful if applied to people (because the pressure she feels from society is comparable to the tropes she inverts)#regis is. so hilarious but the main funny thing is the amount of dramatic irony leading up to his reveal #and then the absolute bitchiness he demonstrates towards geralt after he can be sure geralt won't fight him #also when regis heals the girl from the camp and when he heals dandelion and when he rushes to help milva and when he armchair diagnoses ger #the only parts i dont like is when assire is bullied by the northern sorceresses because it makes me cry #and when dandelion sings the misogynist couplets while drunk in regis' hut. that's actually my least favorite #it is only 4 lines so it can be redacted but [shrugs] it's still shitty #i also -_- when regis is like 'i know some druids' because i know he's wrong and i know he's stupid #book: baptism of fire #not really 'analysis' but #analysis #the witcher books #the elbow-high diaries

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ackermanshoe · 3 years

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"Mikasa?!"

"get your shit together"

"we are the only ones who can stop Eren"

Well smart ppl, this is the first time in the entirety of attack on titan Levi "snapped" towards Mikasa. The look on his eyes it's so full concern, did he know what was happening to her? Did he realise it was her headache or did he think it was Eren doing something?

Maybe he snapped bc he was absolutely tired of Erens shit and mikasa's hesitation towards him. Maybe he was so worried that he couldn't get his words to come out? "Get your shit together" is such a Levi think to say if he said "are you okay?" It would be so out of character.

I know I don't need to explain this as we are all aware that Levi's way with Mikasa is like none other, right? Eg when he snapped at historia for not being able to give a straight answer to the biggest decision of her life - more: he often snaps at hanji despite them being friends for years etc.

It also makes me wonder how Levi is so in touch with reality, he's right next to her, could it be that his presence helped Mikasa come back to hers and finally decide to end Eren?

"a theory isn't a fantasy, it's a coherent set of ideas intend to explain something.." and this is me theorising so stay with me. The Ackerman's who had their inhumane power activated are Levi Mikasa and Kenny. Kenny met his tragic end with Yuri, Levi met his tragic end with Erwin and now it is clearly Mikasa's turn. Ik it wasn't obvious but when Kenny Ackerman lost his liege he was completely alone then eventually he had died off. Isn't it funny how the only two Ackerman's to have had years side by side were Mikasa and Levi? It's just my belief that Erwin's death would have caused more harm on Levi if he hadn't had Mikasa by his side and Mikasa would have been more lost in her delusion or dreams without Levi's consent attempt to bring her back to reality. Eg female titan arc.

Even after killing Zeke Levi never found true happiness, was it really the purpose of his life? Definitely not. It almost feels like there's a loose end to tie, possibly with another Ackerman. This is where my theory ( or more questions ) about the shine in his eyes comes in which I will explain later.

I have always seen Mikasa as a doer, who is not indecisive and always goes for the kill. Levi knows that too. This one moment where got her headache and she hesitated to move forward it was a conflict that clearly irretated Levi.

But man if it were anyone else with all their love and care for Mikasa they would have snapped at her ages ago. The patience this man has for Mikasa is unmatched.

Furthermore

"got it"

"Mikasa"

He said this to himself, TO HIMSELF I repeat not to Mikasa or anyone. What does this tell me? It tells me he trusts Mikasa to make the right decision. He knows it's time and he knows that she won't hesitate this time. Remember the gleam in his eyes when Mikasa asked him to help her kill Eren?

It's a gleam of trust and recognition.

To me this is the purest form of support Levi has given not only to Mikasa but anyone at all. It kinda makes me feel soft if I'm being honest but I can't explain that with facts.

Might I mention how how Levi said mikasa's name more in this one chapter than he has said in the entire manga?

( if someone know why he never calls Mikasa by her name please let me know I'm so hung up on that and still wondering what could be the meaning behind it )

It can be said the same with Mikasa calling Levi "captain" several times in the last chapter and possibly this one.

It may be a personal view of mine but the I think there's a lot of significance in calling ones name. But in rivamika's relationship the lack there of name calling makes it much more interesting to theorise. I have always been someone who would hesitate to say my crush's name because I feel like it would be awkward and make the conversation much more intimate. Yeah it's just a theory but most people would avoid using their crushes name because it makes them nervous and the fact their crush exist near them much more realistic. ( Input scene from there first caridge scene where Levi called Mikasa by her name to tell her to protect Eren with all her skills and Mikasa had a drop sweat on her, she was caught off guard by his voice calling her name )

If I was to assume this is what happened with Levi not mentioning mikasa's name ( all that often ) then it kinda makes sense. And now that we have Levi finally calling out her name in the middle of a life or death battle it makes me wonder if he is finally breaking out of a invisible shell and confronting his feelings (?)

Note: "feelings" can be interpreted as romantic AND non romantic. I don't mean to say that I think he is in love with her that's realistically thinking.

Idk how to word this properly but it's like he is becoming more aware of mikasa's importance in his life and vice versa (?)

Ones name is the biggest connection they have with their individuality and the fact that Levi calls her name several times in this particular chapter makes me think it's somehow connected to Mikasa letting go off Eren and choosing herself + Levi and whoever is left to save. I believe Levi already knew this since the moment the gleam came into his eyes, like I mentioned many many many times Levi knows things about Mikasa before she does. For Levi it's like looking into a mirror that goes backwards in time.

If I'm going to talk more about the gleam in Levi's eyes I might as well put it all down on the table and you can view it however you want.

Remember this

"is it from hope or despair that this strength comes from?"

Well the gleam to me represents hope, not only for the survival of them two by killing Eren, but for Mikasa herself, finding herself MIGHT just be the gleam of hope Levi's strength came from. Individuality. This is more like forshadowing the future than the present.

It also reminds me of S1 when Levi's eyes gleamed when Eren expressed his hatred towards the titans. The look of obsession, to kill the titans and now mikasa's determination to kill Eren ( her obsession).

If I'm being a delulu then yes I do think he is in love with her and nothing less 🤩 and this look^^ above is so sexy can they just idk send me the wedding invitation already I'm 🕯️😔🕯️ tired of waiting.

Anyways I'm going to end this here I feel like I write so much and if anyone asked me what this was all about in real life I would prolly run away rather than speaking. Thank you guys for being here and supporting me and everyone else! I hope the last chapter is at least 100 pages long because we need it 😭🕯️😭.

Edit: I apologize for making this so long I was going to post it like tomorrow but I think it will makes sense if I do it now rather than later.

Also regarding the snapping bit I honestly think it's just because the way he speaks it comes out as harsh which is natural for his character we already know he cares so much about her, he was panicking guys.

#levimika #rivamikacanon #rivamika #levi x mikasa #levikasa #rivamika analysis #theory

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ramblingguy54 · 3 years

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True Colors: An Emotionally Fantastic Serious Game Changer.

If we’re to look back at Reunion as Season 1′s dramatic pay off for Amphibia’s message of toxic friendships, as Anne & Sasha’s conflicting dynamic showed us, then True Colors is a colossal expansive note on this big theme of the series. True Colors makes Season 1′s finale look like a walk in the park for what angst goes down between our three main heroins in Season 2′s climatic resolution. Everything that can go wrong does go oh so painfully wrong for these three kids. Anne, to no one’s surprise, gets double crossed by Sasha leaving things between them a Hell of a lot more bitter than they were previously, as if that couldn’t already be topped when Sasha tried to kill the Plantars before. Anne has had enough of her lies and manipulation not being afraid to tell Sasha straight up how awful of a friend she’s been in general, even hitting her where it hurts most of all saying, “No, I’m done listening to you! I’m done trusting you! You’re a horrible person and I am done being FRIENDS with you!”, going so far as to get a shaken reaction out of Sasha dropping her brave face act, making this girl try to wipe away the frog family.

Right off the bat, True Colors makes it highly evident this isn’t just another story of stopping a bigger threat, but one hitting much closer to home, overall. Yes, King Andrias is certainly a dangerous villain, who makes his presence and intimidating nature known to the others by True Color’s final act, which despite this Amphibia isn’t entirely putting him at the forefront, rather focusing on a more intimate study of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy’s big emotional conflict. This finale knows exactly where to put its focus of importance on, so I love that instead of it being action packed we’re getting the spotlight shined on just how screwed up these three of a friendship have, in spite of Marcy claiming in The Dinner episode, “We’re supposed to be friends for life. We don’t split up!’ . Very ironic stuff right there, indeed.

True Colors’ most powerful strength it adds to Amphibia’s ongoing profound story about healthy friendships is the thorough deconstruction of these girls defined “ideal relationship” as people. Before Anne came to the world of Amphibia this kid was afraid to stand up for what she believed in, even knowing especially well that stealing the calamity box was morally questionable, but did it anyway. Sasha was super manipulative, abusive, and used her power to control people, like she did a lot of toward Anne in their lives. Marcy, while very smart, wasn’t the most competent physically, who soon grew into being more independent without needing to rely on Anne always having to be there for her. These three were changed immensely by the events of being thrust into this world of sentient amphibian creatures. Anne benefited morally most out out of all three in taking up the mantle of responsibility and ironing out her own issues. She’s become a much stronger person all around.

This episode asks us an important question though in nutshell with, “Have Sasha & Marcy truly changed for the better?”, since Anne has reached a point in her arc feeling genuinely content with who she’s become and the bonds that have been made with the Plantar family shown most notably with Sprig Plantar. Hence the whole purpose behind the song, It’s No Big Deal, with Anne feeling proud for who she is, yet not noticing a bigger issue right underneath her nose. That previous episode was meant to bring Anne’s happiness up only to bring it all crashing down in a devastating display of new revelations in True Colors. Every dramatic emotional beat isn’t just earned. Each significant moment is completely knocked out of the park by terrific voice acting, beautiful animation, and music composition that gave me serious emotional goosebumps. True Colors did exactly as Not What He Seems accomplished for Gravity Falls in shaking up its own respective dramatic stakes just when you thought it couldn’t get any higher for these protagonists. Shit seriously hits the fan here.

Did it ever occur to you, Anne? Sasha? That one of you knew more, than she was letting on? That ONE of you might’ve gotten you stranded in Amphibia on purpose...?

The big bombshell twist of Marcy playing a part too in getting them into this whole debacle completely flips everything upside down. Sasha pushed Anne into taking the Calamity Box, yes, but if Marcy never sent that photo because of her desire to stay with them together forever, then they wouldn’t have been stranded in basically a world full of dangerous creatures and who knows what else. Easily my favorite part of the episode, considering it adds more nuance to a situation that defined Amphibia’s story. It wasn’t just one person’s fault at the end of the day. Sasha bullied Anne into taking the box, Anne didn’t put her foot down to make a stand for something morally questionable, and Marcy took advantage of them both to benefit her own selfish desires for supposedly a “happy ending” not involving them staying apart, due to her parents moving away for a new job. All three girls played an important part on why they got landed into Amphiba. It’s why Anne’s statement to King Andrias, “The three of us may have made some mistake, but you...You’re evil and I’m gonna stop you!”, holds such a real weight to it, as this story continues to solidify how genuinely fleshed out their dynamic is.

Marcy’s super desperate plea to be understood by Anne & Sasha when Andrias revealed her getting them thrown into Amphibia purposefully was hard to watch. On one hand, I felt for Marcy because she didn’t want real life circumstances to tear apart that close connection she had to Sasha & Anne. Sure, she could’ve just kept in touch with them over the phone or chatting online, too. However, Marcy had known them since very early childhood. When you’ve been so attached to someone it can be a devastating thing, depending on just how vulnerable you are emotionally, to start drifting apart. Marcy represents that embodiment of toxic need for togetherness and couldn’t bear to let a possibility, like moving away, throw a wrench into her happiness and friendship, as well.

Never mind Marcy wanting to stay permanently in a different reality, rather than face her’s, but it made this person feel like something more. It gave her a chance to feel truly special in being able to live out a fantasy dream of having such power and freedom that a kid, like herself, couldn’t have had. The freedom to know she is plenty capable of making it out there on her own without Anne having to watch this kid like a hawk. So, to have someone, or something, try taking it away from her terrified Marcy of facing a terrible truth. That she isn’t strong enough after all to live a life without Anne & Sasha by her side completely, where Marcy will never feel truly worthy enough to blossom into her own person. It’s why that line, “I just...didn’t want to be alone...”, carries such a deep pain to it all. Marcy just crumbles into pieces accepting her greatest weakness. As much as Marcy fumbled the ball big time, it’s so easy to empathize with her on the idea of feeling competent enough. Marcy never meant to hurt Anne or Sasha, but the sad crushing punchline is she very much did.

Speaking of which, Anne had every right to be upset and mad, obviously. Anne has been missing so many things from her life before everything went off the wall. Hopping Mall especially highlighted Anne’s emotional desire to give anything just to hear her mother’s singing again. This teenager has been really dealing with a lot of grief in general quite honestly. Anne got into a high stakes battle against Sasha to save new friends, who’d practically became like an adopted family, which left the poor girl traumatized and heartbroken over the end result. She thought finding Marcy would help compensate for it and eventually be able to mend those complications with Sasha to boot. It’s simply painful to see it all blow up in Anne’s face to know not only Sasha betrayed her trust yet again, but realizing Marcy also played a part of responsibility in getting them thrown here. Matt Braly really just decided to slap future trust issues onto Anne finding out Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy were all super dishonest in their intentions at one point or another. Damn, I feel so bad for her.

It makes their embracing hug back in Marcy At The Gates so much harder to watch. Anne was super glad to see her again. Anne had wondered what became of Marcy or even possibly started to think she could even be alive at all. Then come to find out later on Marcy having intentionally ripped her away from a normal life must’ve felt worse then what happened with Sasha. Anne, already done with all of Sasha’s bullshit, thought she could at least expect better from Marcy not letting her down, but that too wasn’t the case. Marcy is very much as flawed as Sasha in what she has done. To think, Anne wanted so badly to get back home, yet she’s staring the very person dead in the eye, who ripped her away from it to begin with. Marcy knew Sasha would talk Anne into taking the box from that thrift shop, even if she wasn’t completely certain it would successfully teleport them away. Regardless of whatever good intentions someone can have in why they did what they did, it still doesn’t absolve them of said mistake. Fact of the matter is, Marcy tragically made her own bed, by choosing to mess with forces she couldn’t begin to comprehend and now has to face consequences, in spite of her not deserving them.

What really got to me was when Marcy tried to spin around Anne’s personal growth and close friendship with the Plantars as all entirely thanks to her. When she said, “I gave you this! I gave you everything!”, I was like, “Nope, that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”, seeing everything that has culminated in Anne’s journey of bettering herself. Marcy didn’t give Anne anything, but a one way ticket to cutting the kid off from her family, presuming she’d be fine with this idea. It’s all kinds of messed up, however what it boils down to is Marcy undermining Anne’s independence and agency. Anne’s moral judgement in decision making was what allowed her to create this new life she made for herself in Amphibia. Anne’s honesty as a whole led her down a path of togetherness, while Marcy’s lying landed her in a result of not wanting to be alone, costing her so much.

“I don’t believe this. We were so focused on each other we couldn’t see what was right in front of us!”

True Colors excels at earning each of its emotional beats because they line up with character motivations down to the last letter. Anne doesn’t want to trust Sasha anymore because of their already rocky past, which leads to her helping King Andrias regain control of his kingdom. Sasha not keeping a lid on her temper, wanting to rule over Amphibia, and trying to reinforce that power dynamic with Anne & Marcy only made things worse for her image of a changed good friend. There wasn’t a chance in Hell Anne would hear Sasha’s reasoning after she flat out tried to take away her frog family, by attempting to use the Calamity Box a bit ago in the episode. Marcy wanted to believe there was a happily ever after in seeing this world traveling idea as their only chance for salvation as friends for life, but it turned out to be something much more sinister, when learning of Andrias’ backstory and his true scumbag nature. All three of their motivations come clashing together, blinding them from a much bigger danger. Something that effectively puts everyone at stake.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale works so excellently, given it covers important dramatic elements it’s been stirring around since Season 1′s early rumblings. Amphibia is a story centered around people’s need for emotional connections. True Colors builds miraculously off what Reunion already did quite well in showing friendships can become rough and they are never easy to deal with. When you have to make a stand it can be a tough pill to swallow on the reality check of maybe this “good friend” of your’s isn’t as nice as you previously thought them to be. Anne having been hurt one too many times now by her former friend sends that message close to home, so much so even Sasha begins to question her morality as a human being. It poignantly encapsulates how this trio’s complex friendship is a serious growing issue needing to be reexamined, overall.

What if Anne’s right..? What if I am a horrible person...?

Something I absolutely love to pieces about True Colors, also a testament to Season 2′s darn good writing, is how much introspective we get from each character on what they’re feeling. We’ve seen plenty of Sasha’s vulnerability before in other episodes centered on her issues, but now we’re getting to the root of it. Sasha is really taking everything more to heart, little by little. Sasha’s understanding what kind of an effect she has on people, seeing the damage it has caused made evident by Percy and Braddock in Barrel’s Warhammer. Grime once told her, “Some dreams have a price and not everyone is willing to pay it.”, where she’s questioning that idealism every passing minute the invasion plan proceeds further into reaching success. Sasha isn’t sure what to do with herself anymore feeling aimless. Those previous episodes had a real impact on her priorities more than she cared to let on with Sasha’s typical tough girl act. This kid has let her guard down more, which scares and confuses Sasha. She’s always used to playing the role of protector it contradicts everything Sasha stands for when the roles are totally reversed because now Anne has made her feel the tremendous change in their growth as individuals.

Sasha’s lifestyle has been all about control that after somewhat learning to be more considerate to Anne & Marcy’s feelings she feels beyond conflicted about what truly matters to her. The most screwed up part of it all is Sasha didn’t want to fight anymore, taking up a pacifist approach after seeing what King Andrias had been hiding from everyone. It’s a fitting punishment for Sasha to try bringing Anne over to work together once more, but getting her pleas for companionship outright ignored. Anne was correct that Sasha had wasted all the chances to be reasonable. Boonchuy tried to hear out Sasha before at The Third Temple. One wanted to start things over again to iron out their serious issues, but the other was driven by bitterness, while only remorseful to a degree at best, of seeing their once weak friend become so independent, mature, and stronger that it drove her up wall. Sasha wanted to take away that “problem” being the Plantars, since in her eyes they’re the source of Anne’s strength, driving a wedge further between the two girls in their heated Reunion 2.0 battle.

True Colors demonstrates the horrific price of no trust, communication, nor teamwork from the three main girls that Andrias smoothly took advantage of, as if they were fiddles.

“That’s the thing about friends isn’t it? The more you love them, the more it hurts when they go.”

King Andrias is quite literally what I wanted Lunaris to be, where DuckTales’ Season 2 finale didn’t impress me on doing. He’s a serious big baddie to the main cast, who follows through on his threats of violence to demonstrate his wide array of arsenal and power. Andrias doesn’t just emotionally manipulate characters, like poor Marcy, but utterly crush them without an ounce of remorse for his actions. When he dropped Sprig out that window after Anne willingly let him have the Calamity Box back I thought they were legit gonna kill this boy off. The way Anne’s flashback montage of her good times with Sprig were eerily shot really didn’t help either on that note. Anne’s Calamity power finally activating is easily up there among stuff, like Dewey risking his life for Della’s disappearance in Last Crash, where the cinematography is shot and animated brilliantly. You feel Anne’s blind raging sadness in every hit she landed on those robots and Andrias. If anyone didn’t believe Sprig was like a little brother to Anne, then I dunno how anyone couldn’t view their bond anymore as such after this hugely defining scene. Anne went bloodthirsty when she believed Sprig to be dead further evidenced when she hugged him in relief afterwards exclaiming, “Sprig!? You’re alive!? Oh, thank goodness...”, which cuts deep so damn much.

Anne was ready to fight every one of Andrias’ troops in that castle to the death, if need be. Before Sprig came back from falling, thanks to Marcy’s quick acting, to comfort Anne, her only goal was to slaughter every opponent in that throne room, along with making Andrias pay dearly for even daring to lay a single finger on anyone of the Plantars. I’m not gonna lie, this pivotal power up reminded me so much Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 after Cell curb stomped Android 16 into pieces with a smirk on his face. Anne Boonchuy’s maddening outburst is a classic testament to the idea of, “Piss off the nicest person and they’ll make it their mission to instill the biggest kind of fear/terror into you.”. showing this kid at her most vulnerable mental state, yet. Sprig & Anne’s cathartic embrace really messed me up in reinforcing just how these two respect, love, and would go above any of their limitations to help the other out. Sprig’s “death” scene was a masterful bait by the writers into making us think someone was gonna die and it was gonna be a poor kid, no less.

However, it was actually all just a bait and switch for the real, “Oh, shit. They really just did that”, moment with Marcy unexpectedly getting run through with Andrias’ gigantic sword. In a last ditch effort, Marcy wanted to atone for what she had a hand in getting them all into. Marcy was ironclad determined in making her own stand for what was right trying to save the people she endangered. Akin to what Sasha did in Reunion for saving Anne’s life, Marcy does the exact same here. Although, unfortunately this time, no one is here to protect Marcy from escaping death, like Grime catching Sasha from plummeting at Toad Tower. Marcy couldn’t react in time because she was so focused on helping her dear friends out. She wanted to prove to herself at least one time, “I’ve screwed up so much stuff with my friends. Maybe, just maybe. If I get my friends back home, it’ll prove I’m not an entirely crappy person for setting these events into motion.”. Marcy’s own deep seeded remorse is what saved Anne & the Plantars, while being the cause of her own untimely demise at Andrias’ hands.

This scene is what no doubt encouraged the warning sign for younger viewers Disney decided to make for them. It’s impressive how far Matt and his crew are willing to go for intense dramatic content. Andrias trying to crush Polly with his fist after destroying Frobo with casual ease, dropping Sprig out of the window from up sky high, and stabbing Marcy with his powerful sword displays his cold blooded brutality. Doesn’t matter who you are. If you get in the way of Andrias’ plans for multiverse domination, then he’ll throw anyone into their own grave, be it man, woman, or child. That’s the mark of a truly terrifying antagonist.

Andrias didn’t care who had to be hurt or manipulated to get back the box, so he could invade other worlds with Earth being his next prime target for invasion. Marcy’s fate is a horrifyingly poetic statement, since Sasha stated to Anne in a flashback from Marcy At The Gates, “One of these days, she’s gonna get herself killed.”, with True Colors tying back to this line in a disturbing manner. Something that sends chills down my spine is we get to see the full extent of how far Andrias shoved the sword through her body. We don’t just see the entry point of where it hit her, but it even zooms out to show the whole thing. Real talk, I got serious Avatar The Last Airbender vibes from this scene. Reminded me so much of Aang getting suddenly zapped with lightning by Azula when he tried to enter the Avatar state. Marcy didn’t want to be alone so badly she ended up inevitably dying alone trying to send Anne back home to their reality. One Hell of a way to close off Marcy’s last moments in Season 2, until her inevitable resurrection happens in Season 3 now that King Andrias has her in a tube tank that looks tied to his master.

True Colors ends on a deeply bittersweet cliffhanger leaving the fates of Sasha & Grime totally unknown if they’ll get away by the skin of their teeth, or get captured by Andrias’ soldiers and robots. Anne finally returned home with the Plantars, but at a deadly cost of leaving her other close friends behind in Amphibia. After all the isolation, heartbreak, and endurance she went through with her frog family Anne finds herself at a total loss for words. Once again, Anne is in a state of solitude of not knowing if her friends are really okay or not, mirroring the start of Season 1 when she landed into Amphibia’s world. It’s safe to say to say that, “Finally me and it’s no big deal.”, lyrics have aged terribly for Anne’s realization of finding her own identity came at the expense of getting separated from friends she’s known since kindergarten. Definitely see Anne becoming a lot more protective of the Plantars now more than ever after watching Marcy drop to the ground from being stabbed in front of her eyes.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale is exactly how you capitalize on a winning story telling formula of dramatic writing, lovable characters with layered depth, and increasing the stakes of your story in an organic manner. True Colors is a finale that should be talked about for a long time to come, as it not only showed how worth the wait it was, but reinforces why Amphibia is a truly great series. It’s unafraid to take its characters to dark places in a way that feels totally earned.

Amphibia Season 2 is everything a sequel to a first film should be.

#amphibia true colors #amphibia spoilers #amphibia season 2 #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright #sprig plantar #polly plantar #hop pop plantar

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tuiyla · 3 years

Text

Sentimental Affection: Hambo, the Shirt, and Objects of Psychic Resonance

Adventure Time and the mundane, aka Daddy, why did you eat my fries?

Ever a show to be full of hidden symbolism and so much more under the surface than its 11-minute runtime would allow, Adventure Time uses seemingly mundane objects like a teddy bear or a T-shirt to convey the monumental importance of character dynamics. This doesn’t only apply to objects but actual parts of one’s self, like Finn’s arm and the interwoven significance of his many swords. And then, there’s Marceline.

Like with many of the show’s more complex aspects, this is especially prevalent in Marceline’s story. How do you stress the sheer volume of having lived for a thousand years? How do you signify the lack of letting go of the past, lack of maturity? You give a girl a teddy bear and have her hold on to it for as long as she can. And it’s not just Hambo that adds unexpected depth to Marceline’s character and her relationship with others. There’s the infamous rock shirt, which we’ll get to, and then there’s the French fries eaten by Hunson Abadeer.

As iconic as the Fry Song has become and as synonymous with the complex Abadeer father-daughter relationship as it is, it seems silly, at first glance, that Marceline would be so upset over that simple transgression. But Adventure Time has a special talent for making the mundane whimsical and significant, so through the context of the full song, through little glimpses here and there, we understand the symbolism of the fries. It’s Hunson’s disregard for Marceline’s feelings, his carelessness, his lack of understanding, that really matters.

Just a teddy in the wreckage of the world

So what about Hambo? Hambo is, for a while, everything to Marceline. Hambo is the one representation of her relationship with Simon that she has left. It’s a remnant from the wreckage of the world, a plushie given to a scared little girl by an equally scared old man. It’s the one thing Simon leaves behind when he abandons Marcy, for her own good, and summons Hunson to take care of her instead. But Hunson eats those fries and so Marceline takes the family axe instead and keeps it as safe as she keeps Hambo.

Hambo stays with Marceline long after she turns into a vampire, ever a symbol of the tragic childhood she lost and yet is stuck in. It’s not a coincidence that she’s implied to tolerate much of Ash’s jerkish behaviour but draws the line when he sells Hambo for a new wand. That’s the only thing of Simon, the real Simon that she has left and it matters more than a boyfriend who doesn’t care about that. Disregard for Hambo is disregard for her. So Marceline keeps moving all across Ooo, both to escape from this new, twisted version of Simon and to find the one thing that proves he wasn’t always like this.

You kept the shirt I gave you?

Let’s take a break from Hambo for a moment. Let’s picture a time long before Finn washed up on the shores of Ooo, before the Candy Kingdom grew into what it is today. Marceline and Bonnibel are friends, maybe more - details depend on whatever nuggets “Obsidian” gives us. For a while, it works, and Marceline gives Bonnie a rock T-shirt. That shirt is so quintessentially Marcy that it becomes a symbol of their relationship when it’s with PB. The two drift apart, though, as Bonnie becomes known as Princess Bubblegum to everyone else and Marceline leaves before she can be left behind. The shirt becomes a sort of inverse of Hambo: a token of love that’s - as Marceline initially thinks - never cared for. Bitter as she might be over this, Marcy leaves it all behind as she left Hunson with the fries. She never really got to grow beyond being that young girl who was left Hambo in the snow.

Except, Finn does come along, eventually, and he brings Bonnie and Marcy together again. It’s intense and Marceline lashes out because, well, sorry she’s such an inconvenience. But in truth, it’s Marceline who tags along to defeat the Door Lord despite having no stakes in the mater, and it’s PB who wants to get her precious possession back. Her treasure is, of course, Marceline’s shirt. The one she always has worn, just in the comfort of her own room or under something else. Not out in the open, one might say, but constantly nonetheless, even long after Marceline was gone from her life. A reminder of what they had as much as Hambo is a reminder of who Simon was to Marcy.

That’s the wonder of “What Was Missing”. It lampshades the potential cheesiness of the message, that being “the real treasure is friendship”, but it is genuine in how it portrays that message beyond what would be expected of a kids’ cartoon. Finn keeps a piece of Bubblegum’s hair, but PB is right there to hang out with whenever they want to. Bonnie keeps Marcy’s shirt because she thinks it’s as close as she’ll get to be around her again, but Marceline tagged along just for the joy of being around them. What these two examples have in common is that both Finn and PB want something more from the relationship with the actual person, something they think is unattainable, so they hold on to the objects instead of reaching out.

I’ll get your kid back, toy

So what about Hambo and Marceline reaching out to Simon? When the Ice King inevitably finds her, again, Marceline is rightfully frustrated and just about ready to pack up and move again. But she’s grown these past few years since Finn entered her life and helped her face her past demons. It breaks her heart but she starts accepting Simon back into her life. They hang out and she insists on calling him Simon, because she never stopped viewing him that way. She knows who he used to be, even if he doesn’t, and she clings onto the representation of that hope, Hambo.

Marceline is already in a much better place by the time “Sky Witch” rolls around than she was at the start of the series. She kind of has Hunson, Simon and Bonnie in her life again. It’s all a bit complicated and unresolved - ”Stakes” isn’t for another two seasons - but she’s on her way. That doesn’t mean she’s gonna let the opportunity to get Hambo back pass by, so she asks for Bonnie’s help. It’s a bit awkward but she spent all this time being angry and feeling like she wasn’t good enough when PB cared enough to at least keep the shirt, so maybe that’s as much hope as Hambo is for Simon. And that’s exactly what “Sky Witch” proves, as Bonnie’s level-headedness helps Marcy navigate Maja’s treacherous turf and gets her Hambo back.

There's only one Hambo

There’s a misconception, a common and understandable one, but a misconception nonetheless when it comes to the shirt and Hambo. When Maja says that Hambo’s psychic resonance is nothing compared to the shirt’s, it’s easy to see the implication being that the shirt is that much more important. Therefore, Marceline is that much more important to PB than Simon is to Marcy. This isn’t entirely inaccurate but I also think that what’s important here is not to put these two objects and therefore the two relationships on the same scale. It implies that we’re comparing the familial type of love between Simon and Marcy to the romantic love between Bonnie and Marcy and that’s just a false and pointless comparison. Instead, the significance once again comes through trademark Adventure Time subtlety.

“What Was Missing” was mainly the Bubbline dynamic from Marcy’s perspective: her hurt, her anger over not knowing why it all ended. The twist with the shirt at the end only hints at PB’s side of things and “Sky Witch” takes it home. From the little moments at the beginning of the episode to the revelation that PB gave up the shirt for Hambo, it’s a full package. It’s in everything, including the scene where Peebs dismisses Hambo’s importance. It’s just a doll, totally replaceable, an insinuation which insults Marcy deeply. Bonnie doesn’t necessarily get why Hambo is so important but, in a way, PB does understand. She understands, because Hambo is to Marceline what the shirt is for her: hope.

When PB gives up the shirt, she gives up the only piece of Marceline she’s had for all these centuries. It wasn’t replaceable, just like Hambo wasn’t, but by giving it up she gives Marceline her most treasured possession, her hope. And you know what else? By giving up this remnant of the past, Bonnie gets Marceline back. “Sky Witch”, then, is the beginning of their new dynamic, as the lesson from the Door Lord finally sinks in. And by equating, in a way, Hambo and the shirt, after we’ve already seen in “I Remember You” and “Simon & Marcy” how monumental that relationship is, this makes Bonnie’s devotion to Marcy clear as day.

Magic, madness, sadness, and all the rest

Hambo becomes something even bigger in “Betty”. The reason why Maja wanted Hambo and then the shirt in the first place is because Adventure Time acknowledges within the logic of its own universe how important the love poured into these objects is. She uses the magic of the shirt and Simon uses the magic of Hambo. Marceline, reluctantly, lets go of Hambo because she just got Simon back, just as PB let go of the shirt and got Marcy back. Nothing is ever that straightforward in the land of Ooo, though, so Hambo brings Betty back but it can’t save Simon. Now Marceline got a taste of the old Simon, had hope, and it lives on in the person they sacrificed Hambo for: Betty.

Betty’s hope is misguided, though. With her time jump to modern day Ooo, a journey of denial and desperation begins that leads her and the whole land down a road of magic and madness. Betty’s shenanigans is its own separate post, really, and all the themes of acceptance, denial and change they represent. What I find fascinating in this context is how, again, in true AT style, the butterfly effect did its magic and the mundane lead into the whimsical and grandiose.

Right there where you left it, lying upside down

Simon gave a little Marcy her teddy doll and Ash carelessly passed it on. Marceline gave Bubblegum a rock shirt, something so quintessentially her that it was the one thing Peebs held onto even after all those years. The shirt was a symbol of their lingering connection and its sacrifice meant the start of a new chapter. The significance of the shirt was enough to get Hambo back, which in turn was powerful enough for Simon to get Betty back. And, eventually, by moving almost literal heaven and hell, Betty brings Simon back. Everything stays, but it still changes.

The shirt is not Marceline. Hambo is not Simon. Objects are not people, nor can we only be with people if we let go of those objects. That isn’t the message the show is going for. And these objects are only catalysts for character arc and dynamics in most cases, anyway. Marceline doesn’t grow up by letting Hambo go, she succeeds in leaving the past behind in “Stakes”. And, if the “Obsidian” trailer is any indication, even that doesn’t mean she’s done with all her demons.

What the intertwined stories of Hambo and the shirt tell us is that complex, emotional stories can be told through simple objects. A teddy doll can signify a thousand years of pain and yet provide hope, while a rock T-shirt can pack some good old-fashioned queer yearning into it. Hambo and the shirt aren’t even monumental parts of Marceline’s, Simon’s and Bubblegum’s stories, even if Adventure Time finds clever ways to use them in the plot. They are just two simple things that represent so much in terms of character development and some of the show’s central dynamics, and that’s damn good storytelling.

#bubbline #adventure time #marceline abadeer #princess bubblegum #obsidian #at #pb #hambo #simon petrikov #my thoughts #missed writing about at

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listless-brainrot · 3 years

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I get haru’s chemistry with katara, but how does he connect with any of the other members of the gaang in your opinion? I'm genuinely curious

hey thanks so much for your curiosity anon!! i love talking about this and i’ve actually made a post about it already, lemme add it here but also elaborate further to include zuko and toph this time

haru’s character is one never intended to be anything beyond surface level given that he’s a background character but there is a LOT to deduce from his character and it’s really interesting how they managed to make a “boring” side character with a lot of main character potential, and i think i’ve finally managed to crack why and it’s because of how much of his character has in terms of potential with connecting and working with the main gaang

just gonna put it out here i’m also gonna pull some haru characterization from the videogames to help my case

let’s start with aang, who is actually kind of similar to katara in terms of complete cultural devastation, it’s of course much worse for him as he lost all of his people but that’s still a point of sympathy and i’m sad it’s not brought up as much as it should be because it’s absolutely integral to his character and position as the avatar. speaking of being the avatar haru clearly knows who he is and believes he represents hope in this world coming back, there’s that sense of wonder and true faith in his cause to end this war and just as katara gives haru that inspiration to fight and make a stand against this war, i think aang does that too, whether he realizes it or not. there’s also this cultural obligation to continue bending or practicing your culture when everything else has been erased or suppressed, whether it be to preserve the memory of someone you once held dear or just because you know its the right thing to do. i think haru would really understand that on a personal level, even if his dad and the earthbenders did come back, and in turn try to give aang hope as well. in terms of personality i’d also just love to see haru, who probably has some sort of reverence for the avatar and was taught to respect him and be polite all the time, see aang as this kid who’s optimistic and sweet while also being a wielder of all four elements and learn to see him as a person and even a friend.

i’m not going to go too in depth with katara, as that post already did a phenomenal job, but i will add on the fact that i believe that haru and katara would also bond over how they had to learn bending and its sources, especially if we cite the “haru bends using firebending techniques” meta, which is also super in depth and well worth the read, and especially considering how katara learned bloodbending if this was something actually expanded on within the show i think haru would be able to help her understand that she is much more than that pain and suffering, and even if the techniques were used to hurt people in the past, she can be much more than that now.

and man. haru and sokka. they’d get along so well like. “my dad who is the leader of my tribe/village was sent away due to the war and i have idolized/missed him so much since then and though it’s unspoken there is a lot of pressure on me as man of the house to protect what little i have left”?? cmon. “my dad who used to be a rebellious leader full of hope and strength was broken down over the course of his five year imprisonment and i struggle with who he has become now” haru and “my dad left me in charge of a tribe of women and children on my own and i want to be a warrior just like him but i wonder if he could see me now if he’d really be proud of me and who i had to become” sokka. that sense of imposter syndrome that comes with being the eldest and the son of a leader?? the sympathy and that personal understanding?? i would’ve loved to see it. also in the games haru often makes fun of sokka just as much as he makes fun of everyone else and it would’ve been really funny to see these two smartasses clash given their different styles of whiny attitudes. also haru is pretty book-smart, and knows a lot about earth kingdom culture and technology, and i think he’d work well with sokka in terms of strategy. however, given haru’s lack of an impulse control, the plans he suggests may be a bit debatable.

now we get to haru and toph, who i should honestly make an entire separate post on but. to summarize most of my thoughts, haru and toph are both earth kingdom kids who come from entirely different places and positions of power and class in the war, and have been affected by the war to differing degrees. haru is a peasant from a coastal farm living under fire nation control for five years. he’s our prime example of what average life in the earth kingdom was like under the fire nation. toph comes from the rich beifong family, with personal bending tutors and even guards. she’s so far removed from the war, and she joined to fight it on a whim. their personalities and viewpoints would clash so much, and i think they’d have a really hard time getting along at first. there would be a lot of misunderstanding and haru wanting to understand toph somehow but toph being toph thinking he just wants to parent her or something. it would’ve been interesting interpersonal conflict. but i think when they do eventually become friends they’d become really close, they’d have shared experiences and inside earth kingdom jokes the rest wouldn’t get and hell maybe even toph would try to teach him how to metalbend cause you can’t win the war with just one metalbender, and haru would finally be able to learn from a real earthbending teacher, whose style is so unrestrained and powerful because it developed in a place away from war. also they can bond over having strained relationships with their parental figures!

zuko is... hard to place with haru, i’ll admit. the fact that he’s fire nation is an inseparable fact given how much of haru’s life has been directly affected and ruined by it, as everyone else’s has. i think that, if he was treated more like an actual character, haru would offer a valuable perspective on the gaang later accepting him into their group. sure, he hasn’t been hurt by zuko personally (unless we count the possibility that after the prison break zuko may have followed the prison boats back to the village looking for katara and aang after getting her necklace but that’s another can of worms entirely), but he’s experienced the horrors of the fire nation soldiers firsthand. they’ve heavily taxed his village, they’ve taken all of the earthbenders including his dad, they’ve broken into and threatened to burn down his mom’s shop... these are things not easily forgiven, and it’d be interesting to explore his side. but in terms of them as people, i think what’s funny is that both haru and zuko are extremely dramatic and angry and their similarities, while tragic, would also be kind of funny to see. though, i think out of everyone on this list, haru and zuko wouldn’t get that close- i don’t think haru would let himself, but if there was an arc involving zuko gaining his trust on some personal level, maybe it’d be interesting to explore.

all in all, though- haru has been cited as lonely in many of his official characterizations. i’d just like to have some friends, and maybe he’d find them with the gaang.

#geez this got super long i’m really sorry anon #i just have a lot of thoughts #thanks for asking this really i loved writing it!!#haru #atla haru #haru atla #aang #katara #sokka #toph #zuko #atla #avatar the last airbender #character analysis #ask #anon #original

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mindmeltonabun-blog · 3 years

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Tale of the Nine Tailed: Analysis and Theories of Ep 8

Welcome to another edition of Mind Melt On A Bun’s analysis and theories of TOTNT. I hope you all will enjoy this post, but fair warning it’s once again another VERY LONG POST! So if you want to turn on your thinking cap and face the risk of your brain blowing up into a million pieces then feel free to keep reading!

Snail Bride and Her Husband

Ureongi gaksi (우렁이 각시) or Snail Bride is a Korean legend which tells about a poor farmer who breaks a taboo and marries a woman who is actually a snail. One day while working in the rice paddy field, the farmer says to himself, “Who will I eat this rice with?”. To which a voice replied, “With me.”. Having heard this voice, the man turned around to see who it was, but only saw a snail. After having heard that, the man found that each day after returning home from work, a meal was always prepared for him.

The farmer was curious of who had been preparing his meal. So one day he pretended to go to work in order to catch a sight of whoever it was that had been preparing his meal. To his surprise, he had seen a beautiful woman emerging from the snail shell. Having been blown away by her beauty, he immediately asked her to live with him instead of returning to the snail shell. However, the woman told him it was not time yet and to be patient. Being the persistent man that he was, he eventually got the Snail to marry him.

The farmer became plagued with the fear that his beautiful Snail Bride might one day be taken away from him so he instructed her to never leave the house. The Snail Bride listened to her husband and did as she was told until one day when her mother-in-law told the Snail Bride to go and deliver lunch to the farmer. And so, the Snail bride did as she was told. However, along the way, the Magistrate who was enamoured by her beauty decided to kidnap her and make her his bride. Despite the farmer’s many efforts, he never found his Snail Bride and ended up dying of a broken heart and being reborn as a blue bird. Tragic I know !!!

Anyways, when applying this story to TOTNT, you will find that Ji Ah’s boss had shared many similar characteristics to the farmer from the Snail Bride myth such as persistency. Other clues that supports the ideal that Ji Ah’s boss is the farmer can be seen in the conversation between Green Juice Lady. The first clue is his fear of flying. This could be seen as a side effect of him being reborn in a previous life as a blue bird. I bet if Ji Ah used those Eyebrows of a Tiger Glasses, she would see him as a bird blue.

The second clue was in what the Green Juice Lady said, “ What are you doing here?”. I interpreted this as her knowing him in the past as well as her not expecting to see the farmer’s reincarnated self in the same vicinity as the Snail Bride.

Green Juice Lady Origin

In Korean mythology, there is a creature by the name of “Dueoksini/Dokeoksini” (두억시니는 ) that kills you by crushing your head (figuratively or literally). In Korean mythology, this creature is seen as an in between of a dokkaebi/goblin and a yokai. Because Dueoksinis have been mostly been forgotten throughout Korean literature, they are usually refer to as being a type of Korean Yokai.

Or the way I like to view the Green Juice Lady is that she's basically Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, and the Boggart rolled into one. After all its like Frank Hebert once wrote in Dune: “Fear is the mind killer”.

Taluipa

In TOTNT, the character Taluipa is seen as being the goddess of birth and fate, Sansin Halmoni. Besides having the ability of controlling birth and fate, Taluipa also can also foresee the future as well as grant immortality (i.e her husband). Given all of this, it is likely that her child, Bok Gil, would’ve had some pretty powerful abilities because he came from such a superior mother.

Now not much is known about Taluipa’s son other than he had committed suicide. Furthermore, the act of suicide was seen as a such a bad taboo that ensured he could never be reborn/reincarnated. In the context of TOTNT, it is inferred that even if you sacrifice yourself for the one you love, it is still considered suicide.

Lee Yeon’s Original Plan For the Imoogi

I think originally Lee Yeon had planned to take the Imoogi into himself and subsequently kill himself. However, when faced with the possibility that this would mean Lee Yeon could not be reincarnated, Ah Eum decided it was better that Lee Yeon killed her because at least she could be reincarnated.

Now you may think that well if Ah Eum sacrificed herself for the one she loves, isn’t that contradictory to what I said earlier about how sacrificing yourself for the one you love is still considered suicide and thus meant you couldn’t be reborn? It really doesn’t and here’s why. Remember that at this time, Ah Eum already had the Imoogi inside of her so her death by Lee Yeon’s hands were not seen as a sacrificial suicide. Rather, it was seen as him killing a greater evil and preventing the deaths of hundreds. Thus, this meant that Ah Eum could be reincarnated. Had Ah Eum ran into Lee Yeon’s knife or stabbed herself in the temporary moment she gain back control of her body, then that would’ve been seen as sacrificial suicide.

If both Lee Yeon and Ah Eum were able to find a loop hole at the very last minute that ensured Ah Eum’s reincarnation, I am sure that this time around Lee Yeon will be able to find a better loop hole given that he has had more time to than previously as well as learning from his past mistakes as it pertains to the Imoogi. I largely believe that this loop hole will have something to do with the favor Lee Yeon had asked of Taluipa’s husband. Maybe the favor Lee Yeon is asking Taluipa’s husband for is the elixir of life that is located in the Underworld (Hint: read my posts about Princess Bari). I think that Lee Yeon will want it just in case either him or Ji Ah dies in their battle against the Imoogi. Such an elixir could revive them!

Taluipa’s Son/Bok Gil = The Imoogi

As previously mentioned, I had theorized that Taluipa’s son, Bok Gil, must have been one hell of a powerful being given that his mom was a powerful Goddess herself. As to what those abilities could have been, it is still a mystery. However, I feel like his powers would’ve been connected the ones Taluipa had (i.e birth, fate, and ability to see what others cannot see). Again, not much was mentioned about him other than he committed suicide and that his name was Bok Gil.

Now let’s look at the Imoogi, we know that he has the power of life (bringing the bird back to life), death (sucking the life out of his nannies), and rebirth (being reborn as that boy).

By the way, I think it’s interesting that the cycle of life, death, and rebirth is represented as an “Ouroboros” or a snake eating its tail. Coincidence? I think not.

Anyways back to what else we know about the Imoogi. We know that he was born in a leap year as well as being born in a place between the living and dead (btw Lee Yeon was born in 420AD also a leap year..possible connection somehow?). The Imoogi could also see what others don’t see such as your soul and your deepest emotions.

If you think about it, when Bok Gil committed suicide, his soul/body was neither in the land of the living nor the dead. He was in between those two realms or in limbo. Connecting this to the fact that the Imoogi said he was born in a place between the living and dead, there is a significant possibility that Bok Gil is indeed the Imoogi. Furthermore, if you look at the kinds of power the Imoogi has and the powers that Taluipa has, you will find that they are strangely similar or related. If that doesn’t convince you enough then just compare the voice of Bok Gil to that of the Imoogi!

Imoogi and Lee Yeon

Initially, I had thought the Imoogi had wanted Lee Yeon for his fox bead (a kind of Yeouiju) so that it could become a dragon, but now I am beginning to think there’s more to the story than just Lee Yeon’s bead. If indeed Bok Gil is the Imoogi then I am left to wonder what kind of relationship did Lee Yeon have with Bok Gil before he died. Furthermore, could Lee Yeon have been part of the reason why Bok Gil committed suicide in the first place? If Lee Yeon had been part of the reason why Bok Gil committed suicide, then I can totally understand why Bok Gil/Imoogi would want to try to exact his revenge and/or anger on Lee Yeon. Maybe Bok Gil was jealous of Lee Yeon for getting more attention from his own parents than he was or maybe Lee Yeon got the girl he was interested in or maybe Lee Yeon was really mean and had bullied him or maybe the person who Bok Gil had died for (aka a loved) was somehow connected to Lee Yeon. I don’t know, I’m just purely theorizing and for all we know all the Imoogi wants is just Lee Yeon’s fox bead so that it can become a dragon.

Black and White Imagery

Other things I found interesting is the usage of black and white in Ep 8. For example, the shirts Lee Rang and Lee Yeon wears, the colors of the stones of the “Go Game”, and the cars in the background of the parking lot Lee Yeon was in.

Typically, the color combination of black and white represents Yin/Yang, Good/Evil, and Life/Death. In either cases, the concept is the same. Both represent the concept of dualism or the ideal that everything is interdependent, interconnected, and interrelated. Meaning you can’t have Yin without Yang, Good without Evil, and Life without Death. Or in the case of Lee Yeon standing in between the two cars and the two doors, both Lee Rang and Ah Eum/Ji Ah’s lives and fate were interdependent, interconnected, and interrelated to that of Lee Yeon’s.

Episode 9 Predictions

Lee Yeon will get Lee Rang out of the Forest of the Preta and Lee Rang will realize that his brother never really abandoned him in the first place. Additionally, their time in the Forest of the Preta is like a blessing in disguise because it helped both brothers to resolve the misunderstanding that occurred 600 years ago.

Now with Ji Ah, I think she will overcome her fear of the car accident. However I think she will be faced with another fear of hers which is seeing Lee Yeon die. I think she will overcome this too, but the Green Juice Lady will pull out one last trick out of the bag. Instead of making Ji Ah relieve some of her worst nightmares, she will make Ji Ah live in a world where all her dreams have come true such as having her parents back and Lee Yeon by her side. The Green Juice Lady will do this as a way to make sure that Ji Ah would never want to leave. After all, why leave a world where all your dreams come true right? Plus, Ji Ah’s mentality will become weaker because she will start to believe that the dream world she is living in is a reality. Therefore, in order to win against the Green Juice Lady, one must have a strong mind that is not killed by fear nor weaken by fantastical delusions.

This kind of reminds of the creature, “Black Mercy”, from Super Girl. Briefly, “Black Mercy” is alien parasite that makes its host dream their perfect fantasy world while it feeds off of them. The only way for the host to get the “Black Mercy” to detach itself is for the host to realize that the fantasy world they are living in is not real. So for Ji Ah, maybe she would have to do the same on her own or it would take Lee Yeon coming into her dreamworld in order for her to realize this.

Last Remarks

For all of those who are still left confused as to why Lee Yeon chose to save Lee Rang first, you can check it out here:

https://mindmeltonabun-blog.tumblr.com/post/633271037441818624/tale-of-the-nine-tailed-ep-7-thoughts-and

And if you’re too lazy to click/read all of that post, I’ll put it simply here:

In the past, Lee Yeon chose to go after Ah Eum first instead of saving Lee Rang from the villagers burning down the mountain. So this time around Lee Yeon did not want to make the same mistake twice and also Lee Yeon wanted to atone for his past mistakes. Plus, Lee Yeon knew that between Lee Rang and Ji Ah, Lee Rang had the weaker mentality so he would need more saving than Ji Ah would.

Happy Readings! I need a drink now after writing all of this !

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

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aaaaaaa okay i just watched the new episode and im so curious about how theyre going to handle the rest of this arc? you always have really good takes so i was wondering what your thoughts were!! bunkerman is such an important character in this part of the story, it seems like they cant cut him out entirely????so where is he!!!

~ Sorry for the late answer, I kept procrastinating writing my thoughts because I knew this would have turned out to be long ahah ~

Thank you for the compliments, I'm flattered!!! Tho I doubt I will be of great help, I feel like I'm lost at sea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I'll do my best!!!

First of all, I'd want to point out that, as of now, I'm confident they will not cut Bunkerman and Goldy Pond off the plot. Goldy Pond is a strong and solid arc that I'm sure received a positive response from SJ readers while it was on going; once it's animated, the anime will be completed of the action that has so far been lacking. As for Bunkerman, in the Shounen Jump's tpn popularity polls he earned 16th and 7th place, which makes me think he's fairly popular. His presence adds a very nice twist to the plot: not only he's the first male adult we see; even though he doesn't side with demons, he's still hostile to the children, which comes off as very surprising to the reader / watcher (and builds up to how Andrew and later the whole Ratri clan will persecute them, introducing the aspect that not all humans on the outside are their friends). Additionally, he is the first character to help build up the theme that Emma is not only going to help her friends and family, but also her enemies, which puts the basis of her character development and her decision to save all the demons and mamas. Moreover: how people have already pointed out, Bunkerman has also a very important role as representing the “what-if” version of the children, as showed in chapter 177:

His character has a very poignant role, as he's revealed to have a very tragic backstory: his story consolidates the cruelty of the world they live in, which is a main theme of tpn, and the way it's ultimately revealed how the children saved his life and gave him the chance to start living again comes to the viewer as extremely moving.

To sum up, he's too much of a great character to be omitted- they're not going to have all that great potential go to waste. His character development and personal growth is too powerful to be thrown away, and I refuse to believe they will (I'm going through chapter 109 again after a long time and I'm getting a little emotional :')

So next up is when we're going to see him, right? I doubt it is going to be soon. My guesses are that he'll show up either in the second half of the season, or even at the very end as teasing for an eventual following season.

The conditions in which the children have found the shelter unsettle me. The shelter confuses me so much, because things simply don't add up. If Bunkerman and his friends have already been there, then why Minerva's letter is still hanging there, unopened. On the opposite, if they have never been there, then that doesn't explain the cookies, which are a clear wink to manga readers, nor the scratched room. I'm confused, because these elements just aren't coherent with each other, and that makes me uneasy. I'd exclude that the Glory Bell escapees didn't open the letter, or that a Minerva supporter came back and placed a new one, but then again those elements really don't make any sense? Any that I can understand anyway- I hope they'll come up with a good explanation in the next episosodes.

Back to why I don't think Bunkerman will show up in the next episodes: several elements from the shelter make me think that. The most evident is obviously the rotten cookies. If he's just out hunting, and he usually lives in the shelter, then I don't see why he would keep those moldy biscuits (if not to commemorate his comrades? Dunnot). Besides, the shelter as for how it's been displayed seems to have not been inhabited for a long time: all the crockery was neatly placed; besides from the biscuits, there was not a single hint of people living or having lived there like the food we saw in the manga- if there had been, the children would have surely noticed. Again, that confuses me. Everything is perfectly tidy and clean, making it more similar to the untouched, neat shelter the Glory Bell escapees found when they arrived there for the first time- except for a conveniently scratched room? Isn't that weird that the room and the biscuits are the very only hint that somebody has been there before? But I'm digressing.

Other things that make me think Bunkerman is not going to show up: the children are learning everything on their own. There won't be Bunkerman to show them the armory, to talk about the limited resources and stuff. I believe that them finding about all these things on their own is a further proof that the kids aren't going to meet him soon.

I don't know how the children are going to meet Bunkerman. I'll be frank, I'm very worried, because for the way the children meet Bunkerman to be as it is is of great importance for his character and character development; I worry to make them meet in a different context is likely to have negative consequences to his character growth.

Shifting back to Goldy Pond, I don't think we're getting there any time soon either? There was no hint to A08-63 in the letter. My personal guess is that the "Poachers" skretch was replaced with "help" because we're not getting any poacher this season, and they didn't want to introduce so early an element that is not going to be explained in this season. Of course "Minerva" could reveal it in their phone call- but then why not mention it at all in the letter, besides from ending the episode with a cliff hanger? Furthermore: would it make sense to introduce Goldy Pond before Bunkerman? Goldy Pond wouldn't be the same without him- besides the fact that it would be hard to integrate the story of Lucas and the other Glory Bell escapees, this is a friendly reminder that it's Bunkerman to both break Lewis' mask and later kill him.

Now, as for my personal guess? I think the children are going to leave the shelter and look for Minerva. First of all, that would explain why, in the opening, everyone has the go-out-shelter-coats:

That's the outfit Emma, Ray and later Gilda and Don wear when going out; it's an outfit we never saw the younger children wear in the manga. Another reason why I think that all the children are going to leave together is because it's the only way to protect them: they still can't be sure the shelter is a safe place (the manga reveals it isn't), so they can't leave the children alone in it. In the manga, they divide in two groups: Emma, Ray and Bunkerman leave the shelter, and Gilda and Don would have stayed to keep the children safe. For how things are in the anime, this becomes a problem. Let's say they decide to leave the shelter (and like, they will, otherwise the plot can't move on lol): Emma and Ray can't leave on their own, without Bunkerman to both guide and protect them; at the same time, they can't leave with the support of Gilda and Don, for that would mean leaving the children alone in the shelter. It's not only because leaving a group of less then nines alone would normally not be a good idea (these children are very smart, so maybe they'd manage to go on?), but they can't really know if the shelter will continue being a safe place: only because the demons haven't found it so far, that doesn't mean they can be sure they won't find it at some point; additionally, for what they know poachers are still after them. That's why I think the most logic progress of events will be for the children to leave the shelter together. Which, even though I stand for what I've said... Sounds like a very bad idea??? Not only the children keep travelling in this demon world- they also don't have weapons besides from bow and arrow? That's why I find the armory being empty one of the most senseless things- of course I want the children to be safe, but for the children to survive in demon forests completely unarmored sounds extremely unrealistic. I just hope they aren't going to kill one of the "irrelevant children" to prove how dangerous the world is, that would destroy me.

(I'm Chris.)

Ok, I think I covered everything! Thanks for asking! Let's hope together they won't mess this up for us :))

#If you don't feel like reading this: totally understandable.#I need to reread this before posting and I don't want either.#tpn bunkerman #tpn #the promised neverland #tpn manga spoilers #mine #tpn analysis #tpn theory #people asks me stuff #Thanks for asking :D

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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So, it took months for me to finally let go of my anger & disappointment towards Yams for writing ch132. But then recently I found this tweet https://twitter.com/helmn9R/status/1315427848467947520?s=19 and suddenly it all came back to me. Nevermind the backstory, her character development is alr strong enough w/o it. But she had so MANY unresolved story with Eren, Flegel, most importantly, herself (read the tweet for more explanation). What a waste of character for her death being so pointless that it didn't give any improvement to the plot at all, neither to any other characters development. We all know, Armin would still be Armin in recent chapter with or without her death. So WHAT'S THE POINT ACTUALLY? ;-; I'm sorry for ranting:(

Okay, I really agree with you here. There are times I find myself realizing that I will never be completely satisfied with Hange’s death. Yams can pull off the most mind blowing ending to AOT and I will still have this hole in my heart left by her death. And I’ll be writing Levihan fanfiction and metas for an incredibly long time because Hange is really an underappreciated character in this fandom and Yams just gave her the most beautiful yet most unsatisfying and unnecessary death.

That is… if you look at it in the grand scheme of things.

I feel like if we meta Hange’s personality a bit and follow the story from Hange’s POV and put her character as a focus we could actually paint the story as a good tragedy for her character and somehow we could put meaning into her death.

Although Hange had started off a little wide eyed and naive, we can all agree that Erwin, Moblit and the death of the whole survey corps did a number on her psyche. Even before she could completely process their death, Hange was placed in one of the highest and most important positions in the government and suddenly she has to deal with the opening up of Paradis, diplomacy issues and the rapid progression of technology.

As the commander of the survey corps which brought all these hopes and possibilities in, which also brought the threat of a war from an external force in, Hange had responsibilities much larger than Erwin ever had. I think given the fact that she started her position in such an inopportune time, and she got placed into a position so unfamiliar even for her, she would be incredibly uncertain. I mean who could have been prepared for what lay outside the walls really? Hange may have been a genius but her experiences were limited to the simple life that lay within the walls. I think her being dropped into that type of position from a medieval setting to a 1940s world war 2 setting would be a lot even for a genius like her to handle.

And that uncertainty and the stress of just everything changing and having to take the reins would have eventually lead to some self esteem issues on her end. And mind you, even before they opened up paradis, Hange had self esteem issues with becoming the commander. One hint of this is in the scene in season 3 where Levi and Hange had a meeting with the reporters and Hange was still reeling from her sudden rise to power and suddenly, Levi (who usually never talks) had to be the one to face the reporters because Hange, (for the first time) had nothing much to say.

And what if she never really completely recovered from that?

Imagine what happened after with everyone just coming in, technology rapidly progressing and Hange having to quickly adjust her plans and her way of thinking with the endless developments she has to address. And here’s another thing which can completely trample Hange’s self esteem. She is the leader of the country stuck in the medieval ages. She is literally the least up to speed among all the other diplomats and representatives of other countries and a war is brewing and she had to deal with that too.

And things just take a turn for a worse when they attack Liberio and when Eren, the person who she believed to be the hope of humanity, the young boy she had somehow raised herself decides to betray them. I mean they will have their scenes in season 4 when she references their conversations and how he used to listen to her until dawn years ago. Dam that scene where Eren grabs her by the collar of her shirt is just so dam heartbreaking.

Then all the soldiers under Hange, who she was tasked to lead suddenly turn against her. And before she knows it the rumbling starts and the world is about to be completely destroyed.

Of course Hange would manage to twist it to her own fault. If we look at everything at face value and think ‘who the hell was in charge? How the hell did this happen to the survey corps? Who was supposed to look out for Eren?’ Anyone would blame the person with direct responsibility over that. The one who was supposed to be leading the survey corps and the development of Paradis, Hange.

So it is not too outrageous to think Hange would have blamed herself for everything there and her shitty self esteem is obviously feeding into that too.

I mean she never had the confidence to begin with. She never had the time to adjust to her new position and she could easily rationalize every loss to her own ‘lack of capability’ as a commander.

And what does Hange decide to do with the weight of all those mistakes on her back. She decides to scramble for a way to atone for them in whatever way she can. She wanted to sacrifice herself. She wanted to give her life for them.

In the grand scheme of things, yes her death was pointless but when I watched the build up of her psyche and the battering of her character, I couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t a horrible way to go out.

It was unnecessary. It was pointless and it was unsatisfying.

But god, the build up and just the analysis of her storyline all the way to that point made it so depressing. Made it so heart wrenching to analyze the desperation which had pushed her to the point of thinking…

“I’m useless. I’m stupid. I’m careless. It’s every bad decision I made that pushed Eren to betray us. For two separate factions of the survey corps to be created. Erwin would have done a better job.”

And the cumulation of those thoughts and the trampling of every bit of her self esteem probably led her to think. I may be commander but I’d probably be the most useless one on the field. I’ll try to be as useful as I can, even if I die in the end.

And that’s why when they were desperately looking for a way out, Hange obviously volunteers herself. After all she’s been through, after seeing her psyche and self esteem break one by one, I don’t think Hange would have been the type to volunteer anyone else. Her guilt and her self loathing wouldn’t have allowed her too. She probably genuinely believed Armin and Jean would have done a better job leading than she could, I mean she’s probably still reeling from the fact that she couldn’t keep the survey corps in one piece as their commander and she was probably thinking “Erwin would have kept it in one piece”

So I think somehow there was build up to her death character wise and the build up was beautifully tragic.

I wouldn’t say it was a masterpiece though because honestly Yams, could have just have avoided a situation with Hange dying. But I can’t help but think, Yams has been giving pretty sad ends to a lot of his characters and AOT has been pretty dark and a lot of deaths turned out to have been pointless anyway.

I mean how many people have died for Eren only for him to turn into the asshole of the century?

Hange died selflessly, she died for what she believed was right and at her last moment, she couldn’t send anyone else to die in her stead and I think this very much aligns with her character.

Really, I probably would have lost a lot of respect for Hange if she left Connie behind instead or something. The only other person I think I would have found reasonable seeing there sacrificing their life would have been Levi. Hange and Levi would not have let anyone else go. It’s just not in their character. The 140 cadets are all their babies after all.

Thanks for asking this though. Really interesting question.

I actually wrote a fic recently analyzing Hange’s psyche towards the end of the story which I’m linking here for anyone who’s interested.

#hange zoe #hanji zoe #meta

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glenncoco4 · 3 years

Text

You Can Count On Me

A/N: Chapter 8

••••

Marty Deeks has been patient his entire life, whether that be waiting until Christmas morning to open presents or until a new Donnie & Marie album was released, but when it comes to one Kensi Marie Blye becoming his fiancé, he’s anything but. So he’s not at all deterred when he steps into the small antique shop in search of a ring. Her ring, without getting a yes first.

No, she hasn’t said yes to his proposal yet, but she did confess that she wanted everything with him. So even if it’s not a yes right now, it will be eventually and he wants to be ready.

Now here he is at the fourth store today, considering how large Los Angeles is and the amount of people, he thought it’d be easier than this. As he examines the display of unique and elegant jewelry, he begins to lose hope once again, nothing catching his eye.

The shaggy blonde’s attention is suddenly pulled away from his perusal when he looks over to the man behind the counter and the older lady that’s holding out something to him. He’s only a few feet away but the delicate features of the solitaire diamond ring scream out to him.

The older black woman feels the shaggy blonde’s stare, she turns, studying his face as his focus continues to stay on the ring in her hand. There’s one thing she’s learned in her 70 years of life and that’s the look of a man in love, but not just any love, a love that’s all consuming.

He’s pulled out of his trance, realizing that the two have stopped their conversation completely and the woman’s gaze is now on him. “I don’t mean to stare its just...”

“No need to apologize, I recognize that look on your face. Reminds me of my Henry.”

He flashes her sad smile, knowing just by the reverence in her voice that she’s talking about him in the past tense. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He was my first love...my only love. Some people don’t get that in life, we were lucky.”

“I know what you mean.”

Something in the way he drifts off for a minute with a dreamy gaze makes her consider her ring and the love she hopes it will be a part of again. “Tell me your story.”

Never missing the chance to talk about his girl, Deeks feels his lips pull into an automatic smile. “I met Kensi when I was 11 years old. My mom and I were in a bad situation at home and her family took us in. That first night we were there I had a flashback of sorts, as I was sitting there paralyzed in fear, she wrapped her arms around me and some part of me knew that I was finally home.” Shaking his head, he thinks about how easy it is for him to tell this woman with deep brown eyes full of understanding how much his best friend means to him. “I know its crazy, she was 8 years old, I was 11, but it made sense in my mind. Growing up we were inseparable, still are. We experienced so many life changing moments together and apart, but no matter what we were there for the other. She’s my person...the person I go to for everything, no matter how big or small it may be. I’ve always felt like I’m my most true and authentic self around her and she around me. We’re just synced. A few weeks ago we finally realized what everyone else around us saw from the start, we’re in love. It’s been 20 years and she still makes me feel like that safe little 11 year old boy. I didn’t see any point in waiting any longer, so I proposed to her a few days ago.”

The older woman takes a look around the store, expecting to see the young woman since he’s already proposed, she’d imagine they’d want to pick out the ring together. “Where is she?”

He feels the heat rise to his cheeks, a little embarrassed. “Well, she hasn’t said yes yet. My Kensi’s a thinker, she likes to look at a situation from all views.”

“But you’re still looking for a ring?”

“Yeah, because I know that she’ll be ready one day and when that day comes I want to give her something special with meaning behind it. I’ve been looking everywhere for the perfect ring and I was losing all hope until-“

“You saw mine.”

He smiles hopefully as she finishes his sentence. “Yes, ma’am.”

Without hesitation, she extends the delicate piece of jewelry towards him.

He hesitantly reaches for it, looking to her for confirmation. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. This ring deserves to continue being a representation of our kind of love. It represented mine and Henry’s for 50 years and now its for you and Kensi.”

“It’s so beautiful, I’m sure you could get so much more for it than what I have.”

“How much do you have, son?”

“Four thousand.”

It’s not about the money for her really and that’s when the idea strikes her. “I think we can make that work, but on one condition.”

It takes everything in him not to wrap the woman up in a bear hug. “Anything.”

“You let me meet this woman of yours.”

Nodding his head, he can’t agree fast enough. He thinks about his love and how sentimental she is, especially when it comes to their relationship. She’ll definitely want to meet that’s given them something so special. “I’d like that...we both would.”

••••

The next day at work its as if the universe is helping him out when the death of a marine who had suddenly come into a lot of money lands on their front door step. Of course its tragic but the shaggy blonde can’t help smile at the opportunity this case is bringing him.

Once the two pair of partners return from their respective assignments they gather in the bullpen, trying to figure out the different angels that could’ve resulted in the marine’s untimely demise.

“Maybe he was here to spend it.” Kensi speaks up, snowballing off of Callen’s statement about leaving behind a paper trail.

Sam’s eyebrows raise, nodding his head at the strong possibility that she may be right. “Corporal Peterson said he was thinking about getting married.”

“An engagement ring from Tiffany’s?” Deeks questions, knowing Corporal Porter had a serious girlfriend and it would be logical he’d be hunting for a spectacular ring now that money wasn’t really an issue.

The brunette locks eyes with her partner, flashing him a small grin. “You have no idea what that little blue box means to a girl.”

He smirks, thinking about the small delicate ring that’s in the black satin bag tucked in his wallet between a photo of them and Marg’s information. One of the main reasons he went in search at an antique shop is because he remembers the gaudy diamond ring Jack had proposed to her with and how it screamed the opposite of what his best friend was. That should’ve set off warning bells from the get go, because if there’s one thing Kensi Blye is not, its flashy. His girl isn’t one for bling and he knows the story behind the ring he bought will mean more to her than any content of a little blue box could. “Oh, but I do.”

••••

She’s been feeling him stare at her on and off all day...well more than usual. It’s when they’re walking towards the home goods store to question Porter’s girlfriend that she’s finally it. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

His brow furrows at her accusatory tone, shrugging his shoulders. “What, a guy can’t look at his fiancée?”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“Didn’t you?” He smirks, knowing good and well that they’re as good as engaged.

She shakes her head. He’s right, but there’s no reason for her to voice that, not that there’s really time to before they’re already at the front of the store.

As her partner goes off to distract Diane’s manager, Kensi’s able to question the blonde without interruption. It’s when the young woman talks about she and Porter picking out rings that she suddenly feels a strange kinship with her.

When Jack had proposed to her all those years ago she hadn’t really thought about how gaudy and so unlike her that the ring truly was. It wasn’t until he was off in Afghanistan that she would catch herself staring at the large diamond thinking that it didn’t belong there. Everything was different with him, she realizes that now that her rose colored glasses are off.

She’s been having these moments ever since Marty proposed, finding herself imagining what kind of ring he’d give her. He loves her like no other, he knows she’s not into blingy things. It makes her smile when she remembers all the times he’s seen women with large diamond rings and spouting off something about someone overcompensating. She’d laugh and that would make him laugh, and in turn they’d get stares from strangers making them laugh even harder. Never in her life has someone made her laugh the way Marty Deeks has.

Kensi’s focus goes back to the woman standing in front of her, against her own will the image of their roles reversed comes to the forefront of her mind. What if it was Marty that had been killed? The answer brings a gut wrenching ache over her.

••••

The jewelry store op had been a bust. As soon as the man behind the counter got a glimpse of Kensi’s bracelet the air shifted and they were immediately asked to leave. It may have not turned out like they planned but Deeks can’t help but love the fact he and his partner got to deceive their coworkers once again by “posing” as a couple. Kensi didn’t seem too keen on showing affection however, especially when Sam and Callen were just outside. He wasn’t the least bit surprised when the sharp point of her heel lands directly into the top of his foot.

So now here they sit in the bullpen, in silence, trying to figure out the team’s next move. He took over Callen’s chair so they could work more closely but neither have come up with any links to their victim in the myriad of old case files piled on each desk.

The shaggy blonde takes a look next to him, smiling at the pout that’s displayed on his girlfriend’s face. She hasn’t spoken a word in the past 30 minutes which is kind of worrisome. Afraid that he pushed to far by calling her his fiancée, he speaks up in hopes that she’ll respond. “Are you mad at me?”

“Dogs go mad. People...people get angry.”

The spark in her mismatched orbs makes him want to forget this nonsense and kiss her right then and there, but he quickly remembers the terms of their bet and knowing Callen isn’t anywhere around, he continues this little charade...for now. “Is this about the jewelry store? Listen, I was just trying to sell the fact that we were a couple.”

“Yeah, whatever. Like anybody would believe that we’re a couple.”

He has to hold back a laugh at her words because ever since middle school that’s all people thought they were. “You’re right. You are so not my type.”

••••

It takes longer than any of them anticipated but eventually Porter’s killer is caught. As Hetty congratulates them on a job well done, she hands Kensi a small ring box. The contents of said box are a delicate simple ring much like Diane had described.

She thinks back to the woman and her heart aches for the loss that she’ll never get over. The life that she’ll never get to experience with the man who she loved. She’s drawn out of her thoughts at the distinct laughter of her love filling the room. Looking across to Hetty’s office she watches as he exchanges some verbiage with Sam making Callen laugh and she could swear there’s a hint of a smile on the Operation Manager’s face. It’s then she realizes that she wants to accept Marty’s proposal. Who the hell cares that they’ve only been dating for a few weeks. They’ve known each other their whole lives and she doesn’t ever want to live without him. There’s just one thing she has to do first.

Taking out her phone, she presses call on the newly added number “Diane, hey, Special Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS. I was wondering if I could drop by. I have something that Tom left for you.”

••••

Deeks watched from the passenger seat of the SRX as his partner handed over the small box to Diane. As she pried it open, tears immediately sprang to the woman’s eyes and before either knew it her arms were wrapped around the junior agent in a giant bear hug. It suddenly made him think about what if he were the one that died, leaving Kensi all alone. The thought alone breaks his heart in two.

A few minutes later the pair bid their farewells and part ways. He’s surprised a little at the look in her eyes, its not one of sadness but there’s something else, something he’s not sure how to describe.

The shaggy blonde is so focused on his girlfriend that he doesn’t realize she misses the turn towards his apartment, instead she keeps going for a few minutes until she hits the Santa Monica exit. A few minutes later they’re back in the same spot at the overlook where they were just a week ago.

“What are we doing here?”

She turns towards him, that unrecognizable look still swirling in her mismatched eyes. “Well, I’ve been thinking.”

#Densi #Kensi Blye #Marty Deeks #Densi Fanfic #Kensi x Deeks #NCIS: LA #You Can Count On Me

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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Mary, John and Cas in 15x14. About parenthood and reality

Thanks @funnywings for reminding me to talk about this angle too -- Mrs Butters as a Mary mirror. Of course Mrs Butters fits the sematic sphere where Mary and Dean are mirrors for each other -- motherhood/guardianhood and domesticity.

Mrs Butters is basically the mother figure that Mary tried to be, or, maybe better phrased, tried to appear as; and the mother figure Dean, of course, tried to replicate for his own family after they lost Mary. Once Mary came back, she initially tried to replicate the old dynamic, buying food (and pie, pie, I don’t have to point out how this episode had cake, right? We all know about cake, right? We all got people calling us delusional for making posts about cake? Right? Yes? Moving on).

Anyway. Mary initially tried to be that figure, except that figure was always unsustainable and based on an illusion (food wasn’t homemade except for some artery-clogging monstrosity, she was still occasionally hunting on the side, and so on) so it obviously couldn’t work now. That role, that life, was something she simultaneously craved and abhorred. She always walked on an ambiguity, embracing and rejecting that domestic goddess ideal, embracing and rejecting her role as mother, as guardian.

Dean also has a complex relationship with the role. A natural ambiguity stems from the fact that, before Jack (who isn’t exactly a traditional child anyway), he didn’t have children to be the mother of. This episode even puts a little emphasis on how Dean acts “brotherly” with Sam, when Mrs Butters tells him to be nicer to his brother and he basically replies “duh, brothers are made to be fun of amiright?”. Which is correct, by the way. And a notable sign of where Dean and Sam’s relationship is right now -- siblinghood, a relationship between equals, as much as they can have something like that.

Anyway, Dean always had to walk that ambiguity territory, a child raising another child as a parent, I might add a child acting as emotional support (a spouse’s role, not a child’s) to his father, while that guardianhood was expected from him while simultaneously an entirely different lifestyle and line of behavior was expected from him. He was expected to be wood nymph and man of letters, so to speak. This is incidentally why we’ve all put out queer little grabby hands on Dean’s character, but this is not the place to elaborate on that.

Mrs Butters also walks on an ambiguity, while different. She absolutely embraces the role and doesn’t struggle with it (although it does lead her to potentially making a severe mistake), but the role of governess isn’t exactly where she belongs, and once presented with freedom she makes a different choice. Her actions as a guardian, though, are genuine, and she genuinely loves doing those things for her “family”.

This parallels her straight with Dean, who might not have magical powers of perfect cake conjuring but still makes yummy burgers and adorable messy little cakes (pardon me, but of course Dean isn’t completely skilled with cake-making yet, he’s still some growth and character development to go through. Mind I’m not talking just about sexuality or Cas, I’m talking in general, this is about trauma and relationships as a whole, don’t get me wrong, just like the cake posts were not just about Cas in 2015, but okay).

Mary and Cas, both mentioned by Jack when he talks about his family, are the empty spaces in the episode, Mary clearly more prominent because this is all about Mary -- the emotional issue at the basis of the episode is the absence of Mary, and of course Mrs Butters acts as the missing mother figure, but the mother figure must leave after all, and Dean embraces his passage from child to parent at the end, being the one to prepare the celebratory food for his own child.

Supernatural is a Bildungsroman, a coming-of-age story of sorts, where the child grows up and becomes a father to his own child, freeing himself from the shackles of the emotional abuse from the parenting he’d experienced. John Winchester is there, of course, all through the episode, the parent who’d leave their children alone during the holidays, who’d do nothing for their birthday -- remember that moment where Dean is told that John celebrated Adam’s birthday? Remember Sam’s memory in heaven of some Thanksgiving party at some girl’s house? And of course remember Dean saying he knows what it means to be hungry for days, it’s no wonder he finds so much joy at being provided food...

So, yeah, there’s the empty space of Mary and there’s the empty space of John, Mrs Butters represents the parenting and care Mary struggled with and John never bothered with in the first place. The episode is so reminiscent of Lebanon, after all, the four of them enjoying a celebratory meal together... something that can’t last, for different reasons. Or are they the same reason? Mrs Butters left because she finally had the choice to, she was able to process her trauma and became free. When they destroyed the pearl, it was a moment of freedom after all; leave the past and fantasies behind and embrace their actual lives, their actual present (and consequently future).

Mrs Butters also gives them a fantasy -- something I probably should have mentioned before, in the other post I said her actions are real but they also aren’t*: it’s real that she cares - although the smoothies were a deception, so, yeah, there’s also that at the same time - but it’s not really Christmas, it’s not really Thanksgiving, the parties are a fantasy. And the fantasy of course can’t last forever, she leaves eventually, and it’s Dean who acts in her stead, who embraces the role of guardian to his own child, in fact celebrating his birthday, something tied to traumatic memories that was previously painful to Dean to even think about. (Mary’s fantasy had also come to an end tragically, since we were talking about the reality of her domestic goddess life.)

*It’s a matter of context, Mrs Butters is real as opposed to Chuck’s manipulations all through the seasons or as opposed to Michael’s dream bar for Dean or the 50s-inspired town, but of course it’s also a fantasy, which has both paralleling and contrasting elements to the other fantasies we’ve seen. I’d argue it’s the most real of all, it doesn’t bend reality or manipulate minds. The pearl gave them a “real” experience but also bent reality to do so, you know? Mrs Butters was just real, just in “standby”.

You know who’s also in standby every time his actor is not scheduled to appear in the episode? Yeah. I’m not going to do the whole ‘Cas isn’t in this kind of episodes because he’s supposed to be the negative space’ thing because we’ve been through the grinder a million times, but, yeah, Cas isn’t supposed to be inside the fantasy, you know? Because the fantasy ends. The pearl is destroyed, the wood nymph goes back to the forest.

Cas belongs to the side of things that are ~really real~. He said it himself in 15x02, You asked “What about all of this is real?”--We are. Of course his “empty space” in the episode is more subdued than Mary who’s literally the point of the episode, i.e. where Jack and Dean’s relationships stands in relation to what had broken it, but of course he is part of the family, and we’re supposed to think about what family means every time the word is mentioned, which is a lot. Also, cake. The cake is the new things, okay? The new things as opposed to Gina? You know the new things, right? We’ve talked about the new things for years? Okay, good.

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 15x14 #dean and mary #dean and john #dean and sam #dean and sam and john #spn 14x13 #reality #dean and parenthood #dean and cas #pie and cake #fuck it i'll tag that #spn

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kyrievali · 4 years

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I've been reading your posts and in one of them you mentioned that Iroh in fact is very shady and Azula has every right to hate him, may you explain why?

Sure, I’ll go into it.

Let me start off by saying that I actually really like Iroh as a character. I think he’s great and well-written. I think the fandom tends to gloss over his flaws and label him as “perfect”, which is not true. One of his greatest failings (aside from making two teenage siblings fight each other for the throne...or really not intervening at all where Ozai is concerned) is his treatment of Azula, and him saying “No, she’s crazy and needs to go down” and essentially writing her off when, if you compare Azula’s personality with Season 1 Zuko, they’re really not all that different. Azula, people tend to forget, is a 14 year old girl who was as much a subject of abuse as her brother. Zuko and Azula were essentially pitted against one another to both gain Ozai’s affection and, more importantly, avoid punishment. The only difference is that she was rewarded and praised by Ozai for her power and cruelty, while Zuko was punished for his “shortcomings”. Zuko’s entire storyline proved how important it is to have a good, guiding parental figure in one’s life, and it’s tragic that Azula didn’t have that.

Now, let’s talk about why Azula probably hated her Uncle.

1. She thinks he’s a failure and, worse than that, weak

And I don’t mean weakness in terms of his firebending skills. Let me explain - Fire Nation citizens are ingrained with Nationalistic pride and complete loyalty to the Fire Lord from a very young age. Iroh, once upon a time, was the heir to the Fire Nation’s throne and the favored son of the notoriously cruel Azulon. He laid a 600 day siege against Ba Sing Se during which his son, Lu Ten, was killed. This tragic event caused him to withdraw his troops, despite having breached the outer wall.

Upon his return home, his father dies under mysterious circumstances and decrees that Ozai will be the heir to the throne. Instead of contesting it, Iroh leaves the Fire Nation and ostensibly spends his time traveling the world, meeting with the Dragons, and getting in tune with the Spirit World. Doing so gives him the knowledge and wisdom to see the error of his ways, at which point he returns to the Fire Nation and serves as a General in the army.

Let’s look at this from the perspective of Azula, or really any other citizen of the Fire Nation. Their country waged a nearly 2-year long siege against the Earth Kingdom - and right when they make progress by breaking through the first wall, the Crown Prince gives up because his son died. Countless Fire Nation lives and resources were spent on this 600 day campaign, and they end up with nothing to show for it. If you look at the philosophy of Sozin, Azulon, and Ozai, they likely would have used the death of Lu Ten to galvanize the troops and double their efforts, in an attempt to exact revenge against the Earth Kingdom for daring to spill royal blood - and so that their sacrifices thus far would not have been in vain.

And then, not only does Iroh withdraw from Ba Sing Se, he also abandons his duties and his country completely. Iroh had a reputation as a fearsome Firebender and cunning strategist - and he just leaves. So now not only is he a failure, but he’s also a deserter, one who abandons his nation while it’s reeling from a humiliating defeat and the loss of its Sovereign, Azulon (who, by the way, ruled for about 80 years).

In Azula’s eyes, all of this amounts to weakness, and as we all know from how she was raised by Ozai, weakness is unacceptable.

2. She is parroting her father’s feelings of resentment

Given that Azula was the favored child of Ozai, it’s likely that she idolized her father and thought he was superior to her uncle, the Crown Prince (for the first few years of her life, at least, Iroh WAS the Crown Prince) and should have been the true heir to Azulon. We don’t see a whole lot of Ozai or his backstory/characterization, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that he, being many years younger than Iroh (it’s never officially stated, but Ozai is around 45 at the time of the show and Iroh appears to be in his late 60’s/early 70’s) had an inferiority complex growing up, and probably some form of sibling rivalry. After all, Iroh is already an adult by the time Ozai is born, and the Crown Prince, who has been groomed from birth to be Azulon’s heir. Ozai is an afterthought; an insurance policy, who at the very moment of Lu Ten’s birth, is outranked by an infant.

Ozai probably resented Iroh his entire life, so it is not unlikely that Azula would probably feel the same way.

3. He’s a traitor to the Fire Nation

Azula is a Nationalist and Ozai’s most loyal enforcer. Iroh’s a traitor, and as far as she knows, a corrupting influence to her brother, Zuko. She also probably thinks that he’s committing treason because (she doesn’t know any better) Iroh wants to be the rightful Fire Lord, and she is not going to stand for that.

4. He reminds her of her mother

Azula is used to being the golden child - a prodigious Firebender, the favored daughter of her father, representative of everything the model Fire Nation child should be. And yet, her own mother does not appear to love her. Her Uncle has stated distaste for her. She thinks she’s doing everything right - because according to Sozin and Ozai’s philosophies and the emphasis of power and loyalty to the Fire Nation - she is; so why do two of her own family members prefer Zuko, the “screw-up” of the family - to her?

It’s clear that Azula craves the love and adoration of others, but she doesn’t really understand it. I think as she grew older and saw more of the world and how people behaved toward her, she understood on some level that she was considered a “monster” and that people were afraid of her; but that’s how she was raised. Fear was power, and power was everything. And growing up, she was only ever positively reinforced for her ruthlessness and cunning by her father (of whom she is very much afraid, by the way...that is made perfectly clear in her attempts to bring Zuko home and also give him credit for allegedly killing the Avatar. Part of it is actually probably due to some level of affection she has for him, but part of it is definitely motivated by having someone else take the heat off of her in an abusive household) and she witnessed firsthand how perceived weakness was punished - so she did everything she could to achieve the ideal of perfection that Ozai, Azulon, and Sozin had proliferated. So she probably never really understood why her own mother and Iroh didn’t like her. And the fact that they both seemed to prefer Zuko, who she’s been taught to think she’s better than, would only further that resentment.

She thinks she can earn people’s affection by being a perfect Fire Nation soldier, because that’s what works with her father - and when it doesn’t work with Ursa or Iroh, two important adult family figures in her life - she doesn’t understand why and, even worse than that, it makes her feel inferior to Zuko.

5. My final point is purely speculative, but...He didn’t do anything to directly stop Ozai’s rise to power

In the years after the war, after recovering from her mental break and maybe rehabilitating to become an advisor to Zuko (let’s be totally honest, a Nation whose entire economy for the past 100 years has been built on war and imperialization is not going to have an easy transition into peace, especially when they are expected to give up their colonies and play nice with an equally corrupt government that was controlled by the Secret Police force which has no qualms about brainwashing its own citizens...also the new Fire Lord is a banished Prince who is the apprentice of the Disgraced Prince and who returned to defeat the pride of the Nation, Princess Azula, Ozai’s Chosen Heir and the Conqueror of Ba Sing Se), Azula’s going to be pretty pissed that her supposedly wise and worldly uncle did not intervene in her megalomaniacal and abusive father’s rise to power.

If my uncle, who never liked me, lost countless Fire Nation lives and resources in a battle that ended with him retreating, abandoned the Crown to go on a sightseeing tour of the world, returned and became a traitor to the nation by foiling the Admiral’s conquest of the Northern Water Tribe resulting in the loss of more Fire Nation lives, escaped from you multiple times and went on to become a tourist and small business owner in an enemy nation, turned your brother against you, did nothing to stop his own brother whom he knew was deeply abusive even after he came back after gaining all this supposed wisdom, and THEN also left you alone with your abusive father while taking your inferior brother under his wing and helping him become an extremely powerful bender who eventually defeats you with the help of a Water Tribe peasant...yeah, I’d be pretty pissed at him, too.

To be fair, she probably never would have willingly gone with them because they were basically just sent on a wild goose chase at that point...but he never even tried to help her.

Anyway, that’s why I think Azula hates Iroh and honestly, she has every right to hate him. He abandoned her Nation and wrote her off completely, so there’s no reason she wouldn’t do the same.

#a:tla #avatar #azula #iroh #a:tla analysis #anon answers #i actually do like iroh btw #i just don't think he's perfect #and don't give me that he's perfect because he's imperfect crap #he's predominantly portrayed as wise #so when he says Azula is crazy and needs to go down #all the fans think that too #and it's sad because azula doesn't get any love #not even from her mother whoops

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extraordinarilyextreme · 3 years

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Crown Prince Li Kaiqing, Chen Ji, and Fushui

MAJOR spoilers for 《骊歌行》 Court Lady (2021)!!! This is just me blabbing about my feelings.

so we all knew that Crown Prince (CP) and Chen Ji (CJ) were gonna be BE cuz they have historical prototypes. after Chengxin was executed, Li Chengqian grieved for a long time, refusing to attend court and also building a shrine for him in the palaces.

well, even with that knowledge, i still cried like a little baby at the end of the drama. there’s not a single un-sad 感情线 in this entire show, but i really do think that the mess of these three is tragic.

before we dive into the mess that i’ve become, a huge round of applause to Li Zefeng for his amazing portrayal of the Crown Prince—the good-intentioned, sort of foolish boy that we first meet and then later the wide-eyed, paranoid, remorseless man. and of course similar props to Wang Yizhe’s two roles of sweet Chen Ji and scheming Fushui (and Sun Langlang for voicing them! Wang Zhi’s VA!).

so as i’ve already said, CP is really a whole different person after CJ dies. and the contrast between CJ and Fushui (FS) is very plainly evident: CJ dressed in pale white-blue, FS mostly in grey-black; CJ kept his hair loose, FS wears a bun (or hat, when he rises thru the ranks); CJ is a lowly palace entertainer, FS is well-trained in combat and medicine (and ends up as Senior Imperial Physician, somehow); CJ was terrible at weiqi, FS is good at weiqi but pretends to be bad at it. CJ was targeted and subjected to rumors, but no one dared question CP’s relationship with FS—because CP was in so much grief after CJ died, how could anyone bear to do that to CP again? even though FS was absolutely the one that everyone should have removed from CP’s side immediately…

when CP and CJ first meet in episode 7, CP is kind of a typical princely character: he’s kinda entitled, the world is his, his future is bright… and i firmly believe he 一见钟情 because while CJ still treated him with courtesy and respect, it’s obvious that CJ didn’t expect or want anything from him. and this continues in episode 9, when CP is trying to clear his thoughts by the riverside and runs into CJ who is fishing: CP brattishly orders CJ to stay and keep him company, and CJ is honestly more confused than anything as to why the freaking Crown Prince of the country wants to spend the whole goddamn day here. of course, it’s because CJ represents a freedom for CP: here, the Emperor won’t compare him to Prince Zhou or Prince Han; here, the Empress won’t admonish him over and over again; here, there’s no scheming advisors who try to curry favor with him. here, as CP tells CJ to use, it’s just “you and I” without care for rank or formalities.

(but also the death flag in episode 9 was atrociously obvious LOL with CP promising “I will make you a grave” to CJ’s absolute terror. on-the-nose. still made me sad later on, so that’s that i guess. in any case, the episode ends with a 定情信物 whereupon CP gives a jade from his belt to CJ.)

CP watches CJ perform (as he is an entertainer from Prince Han’s mansion) for the first time in episode 10, and we see it again in episode 12, episode 16, and episode 17. based off 《三国演义》Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the lyrics are as follows:

大丈夫只患功名不立 A great man should only worry about not gaining fame and honor/

何患无妻 Why worry over not having a wife/

舍生忘死报恩住 Leaving behind life and death to repay my Lord/

忠肝义胆待友朋 Treat my friends with righteous loyalty/

我要做有血性的英雄 I want to be a hot-blooded hero/

为义而生 To live for righteousness (loyalty)/

为义而死 To die for righteousness (loyalty)

CJ plays the main role of Zhao Zilong (Zhao Yun), and he helpfully compares the story to a game of weiqi in episode 16.

“A gambit [sacrificing insignificant pieces to protect the significant ones] is what Zhao Zilong did in the Battle of Changban. In order for Zhao Zilong to save A Dou, he couldn’t save Madam Gan. So, Madam Gan committed suicide. Isn’t Madam Gan a gambit?”

to which CP responds: “Thank goodness you are Zhao Zilong, and not Madam Gan.”

CJ: “The Crown Prince regards me as his soulmate [知己]. Even if in the future, the Crown Prince were to sacrifice me as a gambit, I would be willing.”

CP: “What are you saying? You and I are friends. No matter what happens in the future, I will never treat you as a sacrificial gambit.”

(so, like, death flags everywhere! 知己-mention! and, c’mon, i think for CP’s consort to be jealous/insecure is a little bit justified considering the amount of times CP has CJ perform this piece with a line like “Why worry over not having a wife”.)

backing up for just a moment before everything goes to shit, other notable events are CP finding out his wife is pregnant in episode 13 (but he spends the day fishing and then cooking the fish with CJ at the riverside, and they walk off with arms draped around each other’s shoulders), CJ hurting his leg after climbing a cliffside to pick red flowers after CP mentioned his wife loves the color red most in episode 14, and finally CP leading a blindfolded CJ to a new house just for him to tick off another romance-y trope in episode 15.

CP: “Didn’t you say you didn’t have a home? So I bought you this little estate. When you fall in love someday, have children, and have a great career, this will be your home.”

(the point is they’re both still kind of in a honeymoon phase right now, tho it ends quickly in episode 16 when our FL Fu Rou warns CJ against being so close to CP—but CP is a little bit too idealistic right now, a little bit too stuck in his blissful fantasy, a little bit foolish. foolish, and incompetent, and unable to protect the people he loves bc he unwittingly endangered them to begin with.)

of course, things come to a head in episode 17 when CP’s wife tells her sister about CJ, leading to the Emperor eventually finding out. but while that’s happening, CP goes to see CJ at the estate he bought for him.

CP: In the future, I won’t come here anymore. Therefore, let’s put aside differences for today and be friends like we used to. We will never have those kinds of days again.

CJ confesses he’s going to leave Chang’an: I want to learn swordsmanship well, and become a wandering hero, feeling at home wherever I am. When the Crown Prince becomes Emperor in the future, I can help you take care of bad guys along my journey out there. This will be my way of helping the Crown Prince to keep the empire stable.

CP gives his dagger to CJ: This is not a reward, but a gift for my friend who is about to leave. In the future, whenever you look at it, it will be like looking at me.

CJ: A gift from my soulmate. Chen Ji will definitely take good care of it.

(for ppl who’ve watched Qing Ya Ji, the parallel to Zhongxing and Fangyue here killed me. but there’s also a parallel within the show itself near the end when Fu Rou gives the Emperor a collection of scrolls and explains that the late Empress hoped that he would treat her writings like he were seeing her—one of Court Lady’s many confirmations that CP and CJ should be read as a romantically by paralleling it to visible, het relationships. ALSO, CP has CJ perform Zhao Zilong again right after this conversation, like a last nail in the coffin.)

so the Emperor finds out in episode 18 and angrily orders CP to kill CJ himself, lest he be stripped of rank. Fu Rou warns CJ, but he refuses to escape.

If I run away, the Crown Prince will not be able to fulfill the Emperor’s order—what would happen to the Crown Prince? […] Life and death are not the most important things; the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.

and so CJ unsheathes the dagger CP gave him.

The Crown Prince regards Chen Ji as his soulmate, Chen Ji also regards the Crown Prince as his soulmate. ‘A man of service dies for the one who knows him.’ (An upright man can die for his soulmate.)

CJ quotes “士为知己者死” from Sima Qian’s 《史記·刺客列傳》Records of the Grand Historian, tho if you’ve watched Winter Begonia, it should probably also look familiar.

CP pushes aside the soldiers who’ve accompanied him on the journey to CJ’s home, but it’s too late: CJ took his own life, using the weapon CP gave him, in order to protect CP.

the chorus of Lu Hu’s 《万里》 Ten Thousand Li plays as CP staggers toward CJ’s lifeless body.

呼吸，想着你, When I breathe, I think of you

在梦里，在心里, In my dreams, in my heart

怪完相遇，怪自己, After I’ve finished blaming that we encountered each other, I blame myself

别离，痛彻心扉！Farewell, my heart is broken

(this is a song from the OST we hear multiple times with the other couples in the drama—and we also see many couples by the same river that CP and CJ would fish together by. i think, like, all the couples associated with this song except our main one have a BE…)

in CP’s immense grief, he has the weiqi pieces from his last game with CJ glued to the board, never to be moved again, and he has the flowerbed outside flattened. we get our callback to episode 9: “Chen Ji has no family. I promised him that if he died, I would make him a grave.”

CP doesn’t meet FS until episode 37, but what the Emperor says in episode 19 about Chen Ji is what really makes the whole thing a tragedy.

You must be cautious when choosing friends. He would only have misguided you.

and that’s the thing, the Emperor isn’t wrong!!! it ultimately truly is the Crown Prince’s love for Chen Ji that destroys him. his love for Chen Ji ruins him, ruins the imperial family and threatens the dynasty as a whole. because when Fushui shows up, a man who shares Chen Ji’s face, the Crown Prince trusts him unconditionally—it’s the Crown Prince’s desperation to see any small part of Chen Ji again that leaves him vulnerable to FS’s manipulation: CP forgets who he truly is. because how could a man who looks like Chen Ji ever betray him?

CP is thrown from his horse in episode 37, striking his head upon a rock.

he wonders: Chen Ji, have I also died? Did you come here just to pick me up?

(but of course it’s FS, who was actually going to kill him but the soldiers arrived too quickly.) they meet officially in episode 38.

CP: I thought I was going to die. Dimly, I felt someone approach me—he wanted to save me. I originally thought it was Chen Ji who couldn’t bear for me to die, so his spirit appeared. I didn’t expect that it was you.

FS remarks that CP has brought up “Chen Ji” several times already; immediately, he understands that this is a weakness to exploit.

CP basically throws a temper tantrum in episode 39 when he discovers he will have a permanent limp from now on. (idk if it was an intentional parallel, but CJ also had a limp after falling from the cliffside in episode 14.) FS is the only person that CP allows to approach him, and FS gets him to eat grilled fish (which is apparently CP’s favorite food—how much of the people we love do we carry with us?)

FS acts innocent: I really am bad at lying; as soon as I lie, you see right through me.

it’s everything CP wants to hear.

CP tells him: When I fell off my horse, and was on my last breath, you came to my side and encouraged me to continue living. I’m now crippled and in despair, but you talked sense into me to eat grilled fish. Everything that has happened—if it were Chen Ji, he would also have talked sense into me, encouraged me. Sometimes, I feel that you are Chen Ji, just with a different face.

(obviously it’s the same face for us tho cuz he’s played by the same guy. but anyway, when FS comes clean about everything in episode 51, he mimics the words CP says here.

I am not Chen Ji. I, Yang Fushui, came to your side to find an opportunity to take revenge.)

back to episode 39, FS says he doesn’t want to be “another Chen Ji” because he doesn’t want to die so young—he’s afraid of death.

CP: I guarantee you that I won’t let anyone harm you. What happened to Chen Ji will never happen to you.

(and it’s true! FS gets away with so much goddamn shit because CP’s wife doesn’t dare criticize FS, and even the Emperor doesn’t after knowing what it’s like to see his son in such heavy grief. CP’s wife thinks this is her chance at making amends; she felt real remorse after CJ died, and honestly that line from It’s Quiet Uptown sums it up best: “If I could trade his life for mine/He'd be standing here right now/And you would smile and that would be enough.” a shame, of course, that CP was FS’s freaking main target. nobody wants to repeat the tragedy of Chen Ji, so no one questions Fushui.)

but, like, FS isn’t truly even that subtle—it’s just that CP is so blinded by his love for CJ. from episode 46:

CP: I have taught you for so long, but you’re still terrible at playing.

FS: I am doing it on purpose. Only if I play poorly, will the Crown Prince be willing to continue teaching me.”

CP: Even you put on an act before me? […] You are the person I trust the most. Don’t lie to me.

(太子，你醒醒吧!)

so FS successfully sows discord between CP and his brother Prince Han; the Empress passes away (always sickly, but her illness was very much exacerbated upon seeing her beloved sons turn on each other); CP’s wife kills her own sister in what she believes is a beneficial political move for CP; Prince Han’s wife is wrongfully executed; Sheng Chujun is killed and silenced too after he discovers FS’s plans. CP stages a coup against Prince Han. (the man who looks like Chen Ji must only want the best for him, right?) FS gets away with everything and goes to visit CP in prison in episode 51.

AND HERE! HERE! FS is supposed to kill CP; that’s been his goal from the very beginning. CP hasn’t eaten for days in the prison, but FS shows up with a grilled fish and CP eats without a second thought that it could be poisoned.

but. FS has been at CP’s side for so long now. he’s orchestrated CP to lose everything. there is nothing left that CP could give to him but the mere fact that he’s still breathing.

in episode 49, FS poisons Lian Yan’er and Yan Zifang is obviously upset on behalf of blissfully ignorant, head-over-heels Ma Haihu.

FS: I will kill whoever gets in my way.

YZF: What about someone you love? If it was someone you loved, you would be just as ruthless, right?

FS: It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Where does love come into play? This question—you’ve asked the wrong person.

(but FS’s expression changes. someone he loves? he’s startled, he looks afraid.)

FS ruined CP’s life; and at the same time, gave CP reason to live again. CP started playing weiqi again, his relationship with his wife improved; he started smiling again. there was a passionate fire to him that he never had before (this was his second chance to do everything right, to protect the people he loves!)... the kindling, unfortunately, was his trust in Prince Han and his parents. from episode 39, FS comes in and sits down next to CP after CP trashes his room during his tantrum.

CP: Do you know why I treat you differently from other people?

FS: Because I remind Your Highness of your friend who already passed away—Chen Ji?

CP never stopped loving CJ; he loved Fushui, because he never stopped treating him as Chen Ji. after the failed coup against Prince Han, CP smiles in prison in episode 51 when FS visits him.

CP: It was fate who made us each other's soulmate [知己]. [...] If you can continue living well, I wish that you live your life to the fullest, with both smiles and tears.

how can Fushui bear to take the Crown Prince’s life when he’s received nothing but unwavering trust from him? when he explains who he truly is, when he calls CP foolish for trusting the wrong person, FS is on the brink of tears. his mouth trembles, his breaths shake. when the poison begins to take effect, and CP agonizingly reaches for him, FS takes his hand—just as CP gripped CJ’s lifeless hand so long ago, just as CP reached out to the person he thought was CJ when he fell from his horse. FS takes his hand, sobs, and gives him the antidote.

(Consort Yan’s eunuch is, of course, outraged.

Yu He: If you can’t bear to kill him, then I will!

Fushui: I forbid you. [...] He has nothing left to lose. I forbid you from killing him.)

so, we have the Crown Prince, ruined by his love for Chen Ji—and Fushui, who both took and freely gave the Crown Prince’s life back to him. it’s a love story; it has always been a love story.

and finally, FS gets Ma Haihu killed in episode 53. he picks up the comb MHH carved for Lian Yan’er (a 定情信物!), and when he speaks, ends up telling the story of CP and CJ as well.

There was a woman who sacrificed her life for your bright future. You only needed to enjoy it, yet you took the road of self-destruction.

and then he remembers what CP said to him in the prison in episode 51.

CP: If, in this world, fate truly exists, then so do the hearts of men.

FS remarks now: If you have a heart, you will be easily hurt, or even lose your life.

heartless Fushui, who kills without batting an eye, who nearly upturned the entire Tang dynasty, who doesn’t know of love. in the end, he couldn’t bear to end the Crown Prince’s life.

so, yeah. these three broke my heart. i really wonder what Chen Ji would say to the Crown Prince when they see each other again at last in the afterlife. what the Crown Prince would say to Chen Ji. how violent love can be. what it means to live in someone’s memory. or maybe they would return to the river and spend a long day fishing together again.

#court lady #骊歌行 #cdrama ramblings

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