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adorethedistance · 2 months

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I Don’t Just Like You - Trevor Zegras x Hughes!Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, tension/fighting, jealousy, Dixie lmao

Words: 2161

Summary: Tension builds with Trevor over his new partnership until the two of you confess your feelings.

A/n: Y'all I am so not doing well rn. I am processing a break up and questioning my social circle and im so lonely that I needed to write some angst to cope with it all. Hope yall like this one and maybe it'll get a smut part two depending on whether or not I can handle writing that rn lol. Enjoy!

Moose: call me ASAP

Me: sorry Luke. can’t rn

Moose: Awesome 😎

My hands quake with anxiety as I fiddle with the tarnished silver ring adorning my pointer finger. The moisture of my skin eases the movement of turning the ring around my finger. I hiss when the gemstone catches on the skin of my middle finger and immediately drop my hands.

Currently, I’m staring down at the risky text I just sent Trevor. About an hour ago he had messaged me:

Trev: hey sorry can’t swing tn after all

Trev: rain check?

My jaw tightens with contempt and I huff out a sigh as my bottom lip trembles. I feel pathetic for just how impacted I am by his every word. I angrily hit the digital keys of my phone’s keyboard as I type my reply.

Me: really?

Me: again??

Trev: don’t be like that

I’m not the most confrontational person. On any given day some might say I’m the furthest thing from confrontational. To put it rather plainly, I just don’t like it. I hate the way I get anxiety butterflies in my stomach. I hate absorbing the emotions of the other person, especially when rejection is involved. I hate what projections I’m opening myself up to receiving from the other person. There are too many pitfalls and not enough landing pads. Which is why it’s so out of character for me to press him on this.

Me: like what Trev?

This is the third time in a row Trevor has cancelled plans on me. I don’t know if he’s aware of that. I don’t even know what he’s been up to lately. He’s refused to tell me what he’s been doing instead, which didn’t raise my suspicions by any means until mom sent me an article. She knows about how my crush on Trevor has had roots in our childhoods.

Trev: you know what I’m talking about

After I stopped playing hockey with my brothers, I was still always around to notice Trevor’s presence in our home. When I moved to California for college, I wanted to chase my music dreams but I didn’t realize it would come at the expense of my support system. Being long distance with my family put me in a hard spot, but having a familiar face to rely on made the adjustment easier. As we spent more time together independent of my brothers, Trevor and I became close friends. The problem was my crush has been growing ever since we became friends, hence why mom sent me an article called, “Did Dixie D’Amelio admit to dating Trevor Zegras?”.

Me: at least say it with your chest

Sent. Delivered. I wait. Trevor’s response bubble appears for a second. It disappears, then reappears, then disappears again. I’m about ready to toss my phone across the room when his message delivers.

Trev: call me

I groan out in frustration and this time actually end up chucking my phone onto my bed. I run my hands through my hair, along the warm expanse of my scalp. A self-soothing gesture by all means. I pace to one side of my room before using the momentum of my steps to start back towards my phone. Just as I have it in my hand, Trevor’s contact picture covers the screen and illuminates in my grasp. I scoff out a sort of half groan and then answer.

“What, Trevor?”

“Hey, Y/n I’m great. Thanks for asking! How are you?” He responds sardonically to my cold greeting. I bite my tongue, torn between tearing into him and the stronger desire to laugh through my rage. He takes my exhale as a cue to continue. “What’s going on, Hughesy?”

In a single moment, my anger dissolves. The tenderness of that nickname, which was once reserved solely for my brothers, now belongs to me. In this moment, I find myself thinking about how grateful I am that Trevor was there for me as I transitioned into college. But the looming threat of a smile quickly vanishes as I remember how that care is nullified by Trevor’s abundantly active dating life.

“Y/nnnn?” Trevor hums into the phone.

“What?” I respond dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you cancelling on me for the third time in a row.”

“Is it really the third time in a row?” He asks under his breath, indicating he may not have intended to say it out loud at all. I roll my eyes, still actively fighting the urge to just lay into him.

“Yes, Trevor, it is!” I can practically hear him wince through the phone at the fact that I’m calling him Trevor instead of the default nickname permanently programmed into my phone.

“Who’s that?” I hear softly over the phone. My heart flutters like a coal mine parakeet in a cage and I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry if it turns out Dixie is on the other side. Trevor whispers back,

“It’s Y/n.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Mason’s on the other end.

“Not a good time,” Trevor tells him. Mason curses and then apologizes before retreating from Trevor’s general area. “Sorry, you were saying?” Trevor tells me at regular volume.

“You were cancelling on me again.”

“Oh. Right. I…” he switches the phone to the other ear, “I…don’t know what you want me to say.” Hello?! Could he be any more oblivious?!

“I want you to tell me what is going on!” I whine into the phone, “What is it you’re so busy with doing that you can’t see me for a week, huh? I get that you’re a professional athlete and you have a busy schedule. But I know your schedule and I know you still have a decent amount of free time. So what have you been doing?” Trevor breathes, in, then out and says,

“I’ve been seeing someone lately…” I feel my heart shatter into the tiniest fractals of what it once was and I cover my mouth to choke back the growing lump in my throat.

“I can’t do this right now,” I say with the utmost hurt lacing my voice, pulling the phone away from my ear to abruptly hang up on Trevor. I toss my phone on my bed once more, ignoring how the screen lights up with Trevor’s contact picture. It’s a new breed of psychological torture to sit here and ignore the calls, so I leave my phone in my bedroom as I go to splash cold water on my face.

When I reenter my bedroom, I ignore the buzzing device to put on a comfortable pair of pajamas. He’s called once, twice, a fourth, and a fifth before finally giving up. Despite my phone being silent, I don’t trust it enough to take it with me and leave it to charge on my bed. I settle on the couch to open my new pint of Ben and Jerry’s, putting on my favorite show in the hopes of laughing through the pain.

Somewhere between first and second episode, I had dozed off after returning the ice cream to the freezer. I’m not sure what it is about crying that knocks me on my ass like that, all I know is that it works.

I’m abruptly pulled from my sleep when I hear the harsh banging on my front door. I jump up from the couch, the spike in adrenaline carrying me out of my sleepy haze. When I get to the front door, some of the tiredness catches up with me again and I groggily open the front door. Behind it stands Trevor, with sad puppy eyes and a sheepish expression. I can’t help the scowl that comes to rest on my face when I see him, but he doesn’t falter. Instead, he pushes past me to come into the apartment and sits on the couch expectantly. Since there’s no way to physically remove him from my space, I bargain, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from Trevor as I can manage. He doesn’t let the cold gesture phase him, and scooches obliviously into the center of the couch.

“What’s going on Hughsey?” I scoff at the nickname and Trevor cringes in frustration. “What is this?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Why are you icing me out all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, spiteful, with malice.

“Clearly not since I’m here spending time with you.”

“Was that so hard for you to do? I mean, with your busy schedule and all?”

“What are you-” Trevor pauses for a split second. “Wait, are you… jealous? Y/n?”

I want to protest. I want to scream and rant and bite back, how he could be so conceited to think I’d be jealous of a relationship that I previously thought was rumored? But I can’t.

Because he’s right.

I bite my tongue. There’s nothing else I can do. Not unless I want to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

“Oh my god, that’s totally it. You’re jealous.” Trevor says, complete with a laugh and a sigh. The shame of actually being jealous of a girl I’ve never met, the disappointment of finding out Trevor is dating someone, and the exhaustion from already having cried earlier comes collapsing down on me at once. Hot tears well on the lining of my lashes and I stare at the ground, afraid to draw attention to myself. Upon seeing me cry, Trevor’s smile immediately vanishes and he scoots closer once more.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He envelops me in a hug that I’m too overwhelmed to reciprocate. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

I merely shake my head, unaware of what I could even say in this moment.

“I was… I was just laughing ‘cause I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?”

“That you’d be jealous.” I wriggle out of the hug and look at Trevor sincerely.

“How would you have known?”

“You know, for as long as I can remember, your brothers have talked about you having a crush on me.” I cower in humiliation, my face glowing hotter than the surface of the sun.

“I wish they wouldn’t have.”

“No?” Trevor asks, genuinely.

“It’s embarrassing,” I confess, fully recoiling from the physical contact he had initiated before.

“It’s cute.” Trevor earnestly admits as he takes my hand in his. I scoff instinctively but don’t pull my hand away again.

“I don’t need your pity, Trev.” I say so softly he nearly misses the sentiment. Once he processes my worlds, I feel him physically relax next to me at the sound of his familiar nickname.

“Well, what do you need? I’m here now.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I finally dare to meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so sweetly, earnestly. As if I hadn’t just chewed him out two minutes earlier. Then, I look away before I can say what I’m about to say next. “I don’t just like you.” Trevor’s face lifts ever so slightly. The extent of which, one might miss had they not known him a lifetime the way I have.

“You know… the only reason I started seeing her was to get over you.”

“What?” I ask, sharply whipping my head to stare at Trevor, as if awaiting the reveal that this was just some elaborate prank from the start.

“Yeah. I started dating Dixie because I thought dating someone different would distract me. You know, it’s not a good look to have a crush on your best friend’s little sister.”

My heartrate picks up with his confession. This feels too good to be true. As if real life is waiting for us right outside the front door. The real life that doesn’t see me and Trevor together ever in our lifetimes. Terrified of the change that would occur from letting him walk away, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. Trevor wraps his hand around my wrist and kisses me back with twice as much fervor.

We break apart, out of breath and full of smiles. Trevor looks at me for guidance and we fizzle into a nervous laughter. I reach up and brush my thumb tenderly across his cheekbone. He grabs my hand and turns his head, placing a sweet kiss on my palm. I then reach up and break the moment by ruffling my hand through his hair to mess it up.

“Hey!” He yells, grabbing waist to dig his hands into my sides. I screech with laughter as I try to escape. Trevor eventually yields and slips his hands from my sides to interlace with one another and pull me closer. I scoot in to sit against him, sitting half on top of him as our breathing falls in sync.

“I don’t just like you, too, Hughesy.” I smile.

“...You should probably call Dixie.”

“Oh shit.”

***

A/N: not my best work but not my worst either!

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moonshynecybin · 6 days

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what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

#i also. found stuff bc i did a lot of digging around in blogs archives from 2013-2015. but this was because i was unemployed #and my migraines made reading books (my FAVORITE THINGGG) kinda hard for like 6 months #so i was acting like a border collie that hadnt been walked in two weeks but like. mentally. and we got here.#tumblr didnt hurt my head so much NOOOO idea why #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez

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blessedwithabadomen · 4 months

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in love with the mess - day two

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff, flirting and some compromising positions

length : 3.6k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @somebodyels3

a/n : the story is picking up the pace, I hope you enjoy this chapter!! as always, asks, reblogs and comments motivate me to write faster 🥰🥰

•••

day two

I didn’t know how many tours Oli had been on, but I had figured it would have been enough to expect him to be on time for bus call. I was wrong. Which is why I was currently kneeling on the floor of his hotel room trying desperately to stuff his belongings into his suitcase as he was in the bathroom getting dressed in a hurry. It wasn’t even a terribly long drive from Cardiff to Bournemouth but the last thing I wanted was to make room for any rumours that I was basically just a nepo kid being taken on tour by him instead of actually doing a job.

“Is there any rules to how you pack at all?” I shouted through the closed bathroom door, because, honestly, I couldn’t make out any. Everything was randomly put together, mixed in ways that didn’t make sense at all. How did he find anything in there? I was glad his show outfits were being transported separately because I was sure they would get lost in this void otherwise.

“Don’t question it so much, just chuck it all in.”

I ignored the door opening behind me, shuffling his shampoo into a different spot to make room for the pile of clothes that was still refusing to fit into the suitcase at all. I didn’t mind going through his belongings - he kept his dirty clothes in a separate bag, luckily - but I didn’t expect to find what I did, either. The condoms weren’t that much of a surprise. He was single, after all, and I figured it was better he was prepared for any potential plans to come along than to be stuck without them. The whip was more unexpected.

“Please tell me this is for a photo shoot,” I said as I held the black leather in the air, a sturdy handle with soft tassels at the end. Oli appeared in a heartbeat, standing next to me, not half as embarrassed as I was.

I was still staring at the offending item, when I felt his hand on my chin, slowly turning my head toward him. My eyes wandered from the grey sweatpants, ignoring that I was perfectly level with his crotch, moving upwards to his bare chest. Why had he still not put on a shirt? We needed to leave, like, five minutes ago, and he was half undressed. Half undressed and half-

I wasn’t sure if I imagined the twitch in his sweatpants. I wouldn’t blame him if it was real. I was in a more than compromising position, on my knees in front of him, perfectly obediently allowing him to move my head however he desired, looking up at him with what I could only hope wasn’t pure lust.

“Do you want them be for a photo shoot?”

I choked so hard that the brutal cough immediately destroyed any idea of whatever dirty ideas were hanging in the air. Oli crouched down next to me, his demeanour completely changed as he patted my back, waiting for me to get my breath back.

“Sorry about that,” he said but he did sound highly amused. “It is for a photo shoot.”

Letting go of me, he picked up a shirt from the open suitcase to put it on, before grabbing the whip from my hands and stuffing it in, along with the clothing still left out on the floor. He did it much more graciously than I had been attempting to, finally shutting the case and getting up. He lent me a hand to pull me up along with him.

“I might try it on Noah beforehand though,” he commented. “He seems like he could be awfully submissive when he allows himself to.”

And just like that, I was lost in another coughing fit.

•••

“So, how come Oli got a rundown on your thoughts on the show last night and I didn’t?”

I hadn’t seen Noah coming, completely distracted by the fact that, somehow, chaos had erupted about the planning of which tour bus belonged to which bands and crew, so his voice behind me almost made me jump. He was leaning against the bus I was currently standing next to - he seemed to be leaning an awful lot, really - and I wasn’t going to lie, he looked pretty awful. It seemed that the jet lag still hadn’t lessened. He looked as tired as ever.

“Well, to start with, I actually have his number,” I replied. Noah hesitated for a second, but when he pulled his phone out of his pocket, he only took a moment to pull up his contacts and thrust the device in my hand.

“Easily salvageable.”

Typing in my number, I noticed he hadn’t set a contact name yet. So I let my impulsive thoughts win and noted my name as Oli’s slut, quickly shutting down the phone and handing it back to him. I wondered how long it would take him to notice. Or rather, to find my contact. If he started at A for Aubrey, it might take a minute.

“At least I still got a compliment out of it,” he remarked. I was confused for a moment, before remembering I had most definitely sent Oli a note about Noah looking pretty good in his mask. Well. It wasn’t like I’d been lying.

“Stop hitting on my girl,” Oli’s voice boomed out of nowhere. Noah visibly flinched, as if he had actually gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t, then Oli approached and deftly smacked Noah’s butt. It caused another flinch and - a slight blush on his face? “Nah, I’m just kidding, mate, make your move.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Don’t indulge him,” I advised as Oli continued walking past us, landing another slap but this time on my own arse. I was almost proud that it didn’t take me by surprise. I knew Oli well enough to have seen it coming. As soon as he was out of earshot I turned back to Noah, who still seemed adorably flustered. It was a gorgeous look on him, I decided, all shy in that massive build, tall and broad. “He likes to rile people up. If you show him that it works, it’ll only get worse.”

“I’m not sure if I can stop it,” he mumbled, a hand going to the back of his neck, awkwardly scratching at the skin there. My own hand reached out, briefly touching his biceps. It was meant as a reassuring gesture, but even through the hoodie he was wearing, I could easily feel his muscles underneath. It took all my self control not to reach out and grab onto it again.

“In that case, you have another two weeks of fun with that one ahead of you, big boy.”

“You’re not helping either,” he admitted, the blush deepening a little. Or was I imagining it in the morning light?

“Want me to stop?” I asked, in a teasing manner, but I was deadly serious if push came to shove. The last thing I wanted to do was make Noah uncomfortable with my… advances, or whatever my behaviour could be classified as. Even if staying away would be painful.

But he simply looked at me, brown eyes so kind and enticing that an earthquake couldn’t have torn me away from them. Then his hand was on my shoulder, a soft grip, his thumb ever so slightly running over my neck and my breath caught in my throat, right where he touched it. I swallowed, hard, and I knew he noticed. The smile on his face was telling enough.

“Don’t you dare.”

•••

I shouldn’t have been surprised at the level of comfort the tour busses would provide after seeing the hotel rooms management had put us all in, but I was still in silent awe as I walked down the aisle, up the stairs, and quickly chose the perfect bunk for myself. It seemed like an ideal hideaway for some privacy, even if we wouldn’t necessarily be sleeping here, minus the odd nap on the drive.

Bending down, I crawled halfway into the space to dump my bags with the most important stuff in a corner along with the pillow I took everywhere. I felt the presence behind me immediately, even though I hadn’t heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. He could be as quiet as he wanted, I’d still sense him, I realised.

“Don’t even think about it,” I warned, pulling my upper body back out of the bunk and turning to stand in front of Oli, who looked positively flabbergasted.

“How did you know I was gonna do anything?”

I shot him a look. “Oli, I’ve been around you for over ten years, I can see an assault coming by now.”

“Well, but you don’t know what kind of assault I had plan, do ya now?”

He had that glint in his eyes that told me he was bad, bad news, and yet I didn’t do anything but raise my eyebrows at him, a silent invitation to show me if only he dared. I wasn’t sure why I thought there would even be the smallest possibility he wouldn’t take me up on it.

Before my brain could catch up with what was happening, he had grabbed my hips, turned me around to face the bunks again, and pushed me against the hard wood which was awkwardly digging into my chest and legs, but that was the least of my worries. Protest words were already on my lips, but then his hands turned soft, carefully pushing the back of my shirt up, revealing skin and the tattoo I had there.

“That’s new,” he mumbled, fingertips running up and down my spine, so high he almost touched the clasp on my bra. Goosebumps followed his every move as I felt him study the ornamental design covering most of my back. “When did that happen?”

My mind was a mess. Pressed against the bunks and his hands on me, causing a fire that rapidly spread through my whole being, begging my body to keep still, not to arch into him, not to show him how much more I wanted, begging my mouth to keep the moans inside, I hardly found the words.

“My-” I coughed, trying to get my brain to work. “My ex hated tattoos. So- um, so I got this as soon- as soon as we broke up.”

It was pathetic really, how much I was struggling to form sentences and there was no way he couldn’t tell. Still, he took another moment to run his hands over me, then they were gone and I could almost feel the tension escaping my body when I felt his lips press against my back, right at the centre of the design, and I didn’t even try to hide the gasp. He didn’t let me enjoy the feeling for long, peeling down the fabric of my shirt again to cover me before letting go of me completely. I felt cold and whiny, in desperate need of taking a few breaths before turning around again.

We didn’t exchange any more words. My breathing was still going embarrassingly fast, unable to keep my cool under his stare once again. I was loosing control fast. Whatever Lia had said, and however much I wanted to take her advice to heart, there was a massive barrier in my brain that didn’t allow me to move past it. The tour had barely started. What if I fucked this up? Oli was a flirt, alright, and he constantly had his hands on people, but there was a terrifying anxiety festering inside of me that he didn’t mean anything by it, that I would cross an invisible line and that I would never be able to take it back.

I couldn’t tell how long we stood there for, looking at each other, contemplating our futures, but whatever could or could not have happened was interrupted by Matt stomping up the stairs and roughly pushing between us to get to the front of the top deck.

“No flirting at work! At least not where I can see it!”

He was quickly followed by Oli calling him a fucking wanker and threatening to beat him, at whatever game they were planning to load up on the Playstation or in real life, I didn’t know. I simply crawled back into my bunk, properly this time, and pulled the curtain shut.

•••

It took Noah about an hour to notice.

Noah

I’m starting to think you’re actually enjoying being someone’s slut

My heart started to race immediately, eyes glued to the message displayed on my phone screen. My fingers were itching to type something inappropriate back, an itch I probably wouldn’t be able to ignore.

It was strange how differently flirting with Noah was. An hour ago, I’d fallen into a pit of overthinking over Oli’s and my actions, but with Noah I was simply calculating how far I could take it. Maybe it was the fact that there wasn’t a decade-long friendship at stake. Maybe it was the knowledge he was from another fucking continent and I’d be able to avoid him much better if everything went to shit. The absolution he gave me earlier about continuing to flirt with him definitely helped. That, and the fact that he wasn’t my immediate boss and I did, kind of, need the money from this run.

Aubrey

You’d like that wouldn’t you?

I pictured him lying in his own bunk, the same way I was, perfectly able to preoccupy himself with whatever in the world he wanted, but instead thinking of me. Thinking of me being a slut, thinking of me potentially being with Oli right now, doing whatever Oli wanted me to. Thinking of what I would be doing for him too? The thought alone had me pressing my thighs together. It really had been too long since I’d gotten any sort of action and those two around me had me in a constant state of yearning and burning. If I hadn’t been in a tour bus with several people around me and in constant danger of one of them pulling the curtain to my bunk back to talk to me, I’d have let my hands wander a bit.

No answer from Noah. The self-doubt briefly crept up again in me, but remembering our conversation outside earlier, I swiftly decided to double down on my approach instead.

Aubrey

Or is it that you want to be one

This time, there was less hesitation in his reply.

Noah

Can’t a man have a little bit of both

My thighs clenched, a searing hot fire emerging between them as several images flooded my brain. Noah on his knees, looking up at me with wide eyes. Noah begging, pleading. Noah at my mercy. At Oli’s. Tied up and willing to let us treat him the way he deserved.

Aubrey

You can have anything you want, big boy

I’m sure Oli would agree too

What followed was the blurriest picture known to mankind. I desperately tried to make something out, anything at all, zooming in and out and changing the brightness on my phone, but it remained hurried lines and dark masses.

Noah

Sorry about that

Meant to send you a middle finger as a reply

But Jolly threw the curtain to my bunk back and scared the shit out of me

Aubrey

Can I still get the picture

You know, just to think about where else I’d like that finger

Noah obliged.

•••

It was 7.40 and Noah was missing. Bad Omens had exactly ten minutes to go on stage. And no one could find the lead singer.

The crew's group chat was exploding with messages, everyone was checking off locations they had been and not seen any trace of him. The rest of Bad Omens reassured us that they had tried both the tour bus and the hotel. His phone must have been blowing up with messages, but no reply. I had split up with several people, each of us taking a different direction and checking every room, corner, and nook for him. Not only was the whole situation highly problematic - the venue had a strict curfew and no one could afford a band going on late - but worry was starting to appear on everyone's minds. What if something had actually happened to him? If he was in trouble or injured? Apparently, he wasn't the type to go missing without a trace.

Rushing down a corridor in the arena that should technically be deserted because it was unused this evening, I opened door after door, looking through rooms and closets, trying desperately not to let the hectic feeling that lay in the air take over. I cracked open one more door, spying inside the small room that seemed to house nothing more than a shabby sofa and a couple of blankets or jackets stacked on one end - when I realised the pile of fabric was moving. Rhythmically. Like someone's breathing.

Two large steps brought me to the sofa. I wasn't gentle when I pulled the blankets away, but it didn't seem to faze Noah, who was curled up in a ball much smaller the should have been possible with his broad frame and continued to peacefully sleep. I shook him roughly. There was no time.

“Noah!”

Finally his eyes snapped open. He sat up immediately, rubbing his face with his hands. Apparently he had no problem realising he was in trouble.

“Fuck, what's the time?”

“7.45.”

“Shit, shit, shit,” he chanted as he stood up abruptly. He seemed to regret the sudden movement as he swayed a little with dizziness. “Fuck, I need to be on stage. Do you have anything sugary by any chance? I need to raise my blood sugar immediately or I'll probably faint and make a complete fool of myself out there.”

I hopelessly patted my pockets as if I didn't know for sure there was nothing in there. My eyes darted around the room to figure out some way to get him to wake up properly, a snack, a cold drink, anything at all, but it was pitifully bare. Looking back at Noah I knew he needed the pick-me-up desperately. So I did the only thing I could think of.

Looping my arms around his neck, I pulled Noah down to my height and before I could second-guess my actions, I put my lips on his. The sleepiness was wiped from his system entirely. In an instant, his hands were on me, on my back, in my hair, pulling me so close to his body that it knocked the breath out of me. I gasped, surprised at the intensity, Noah took the chance to slip his tongue into my open mouth.

I was a mess. I was breathless and burning and about ten seconds away from going completely limp in his arms and he kept kissing me. I wanted to keep tasting him forever, keep exploring him, feel his hands all over me. Noah pulled at my hair, angling my mouth further toward him and I moaned so pathetically I would have been embarrassed if it hadn't caused him to press into me until I could feel the beginning of a hard-on. My fingers clawed at the back of his skull, instincts fully taking over, as one of his hands deftly gripped my arse and all I wanted was to feel him closer, lead his touch underneath my clothes, let him give me whatever he was willing to let me have.

The phone ringing in my pocket brought an abrupt end to our pending escalation. With a groan, Noah separated himself from me, once again rubbing his face, but this time in frustration and not out of tiredness. I figured that was better, at least. Quickly answering my phone, I let the person at the other end know I'd found him and that we were on our way to stage.

“Two minutes,” I informed him, nodding toward the door. He quickly walked ahead, adjusting his clothes as he went.

“If anyone at all comments on the state of my pants, I'll redirect them to you,” he complained.

I didn't mind all that much.

•••

“What did you do to him?” Oil asked as we stood backstage, watching Bad Omens take the stage with only a minor delay.

“Nothing?” My voice sounded a little top defensive. “Found him napping backstage.”

“Is that why you're both completely red in the face, you liar?”

I watched Noah for a moment longer, suddenly quite glad he always performed Artificial Suicide in his mask, giving him some more time to calm down before he actually had to show his face.

“We did run here, you know.”

“Did he have his dick in you while you ran?”

I didn't hesitate in smacking the back of Oli’s head. I seldomly hesitated when it came to touching him in general, but giving him a well-deserved smack was satisfying it itself. It made me wonder how he'd react to a spanking. He rarely complained about me hitting him. I figured he'd look good on all fours, head handing low, ass red. I felt like Noah would appreciate it just as much.

“You're a fucking knobhead, Oli,” I groaned, turning away from him. “You go watch Bad Omens, I'll be the dressing room figuring out your schedule for the next days. You know, doing my job. Not fucking anyone.”

Even while walking away, I still heard Oli’s last sentence loud and clear.

“Think I can still change your contract to make fucking someone part of your job?”

I didn't dignify it with an answer. I was too afraid of turning around and letting him see the re-emerging blush on my cheeks.

#Noah Sebastian fic #Noah Sebastian #Oli Sykes fic #Oli Sykes #Noah Sebastian x reader #Oli Sykes x reader #in love with the mess

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munsonsprincess11111 · 5 months

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"Good" day

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: your having a but of a bad day so Eddie tried to cheer you up.

In your eyes everything that could've gone wrong. Did. Cheer practice. Absolute flop. Forgot the books you needed. Migraine coming and going. Forgetting to make lunch waking up late. And now your sat at the table with Cheerleaders and jocks while they talk about the game on Friday after school and how you all need to practice more.

Your head felt like it was spinning. "You OK y/n?" Chrissy askes genuinely concerned. You nod giving a weak smile pulling your hoodie jacket over your hands a bit more for something to fiddle with.

Someone approaches behind you and you see the basketball boys look pissed especially Jason and Andy. Your eyes get covered. "Guess who." The voice says. You let out a breath of relief as you heat who it is.

Eddie. Your Eddie. "Lemme think... Timothy?" You giggle. Eddie removes his hands from your eyes bringing his face centimetres from yours.

"What the creep in your science class with the snotty nose who tries to check you out n asked you on a date? No babe. I'm the creep in your math and biology class who's given you better lessons on biology then them teachers ever have maybe even some chemistry." HE smiles kissing you.

You smile as he pulls away and you both look eachother in the eyes. You almost forget about your migraine until Jason shouts. "HEY freak wanna fuck off n talk to her later were talking about are game this Friday. So piss of would ya." Eddie notices your flinch when he yells. He screws his eyebrows n kisses your head.

"What's wrong?" Eddie whispers to you. All you do is shrug your shoulders wrapping your arms around yourself. He bites the corner of his lip. "Wanna go talk somewhere else princess?" HE whispers again. You nod standing up taking Eddie's hand and he guides you out of the cafeteria.

"Y/n we need you were tryna arrange shit." Andy shouts. You ignore him and continue walking holding Eddie's hand. Eddie gives them all the middle finger as you both edit the cafeteria.

"Stop." Eddie says stopping you. He slips off the Hawkins high jacket your wearing chucking it over his shoulder. He then takes off his denim vest and leather jacket handing you them. Then slipping off his hoodie jacket.

"How many jackets do you need?" You giggle.

He smirks handing you the hoodie one which you gladly except giving the leather and denim jacket back. "Well the leather and denim for me and the hoodie is for you when your cold n need comfort babe." HE says slipping his jacket and vest on taking your hand again.

You walk down the halls hand In hand and Eddie takes you out of the school to the woods. You sit at the picnic table and Eddie sits opposite putting his lunch box on the table.

"Right got a few questions that OK?" HE askes. You nod.

"Cool. Why wasn't you eating?"

You look Eddie in the eyes seeing his concern n nod to yourself.

"I um woke up late and didn't have time to pack lunch." You answer twiddling with Eddie's jacket.

He slides his lunch box over to you. "EAT what you want don't touch the weed. You got a migraine?" Eddie askes knowing you to well.

You nod. He goes into one of his many pockets sliding you over migraine pain relief. "There should be water in the lunch box." HE say pointing at the plastic bottle.

"Whyve you got-" but he cuts you off.

"Cause you get migraines a lot and you never take anything so I've got stuff for when they get bad." HE answers sweetly. You nod taking the pill and drinking the water sliding rhe box of pills to him as he tucks them back in his pocket.

"When's cheer practice next?" HE askes leaning on the table

"Tonight." You mumble eating a piece of popcorn.

"OK your not going. Your coming back to the trailer n were gonna make dinner. Go to my room. Eat dinner. Have a shower. Lay in bed butt naked. And cuddle." HE says and you giggle at him knowing he's serious.

Over the time you've been dating you've come to terms there no point tryna argue with Eddie with this kinda stuff. He's gonna win. Stubborn asshole.

"I'm fine with that one question. Why are we gonna be butt naked?" You ask giggling at him

"SO we can compare boob sizes duh." HE says jokingly rolling his eyes as a smirk comes across his face. The real reason is so you feel safe and close to him. You both know it. Eddie just wanted to make you laugh.

"Thank you." You say smiling at him.

"Don't ever thank me for loving on ya babe." HE says. You sit on the table and swing your legs around to Eddie. He kisses your leg.

"Want me to deal with Jason and the others?" HE askes. You nod.

"I love you." You say kissing his head.

"I love you too." HE says kissing your leg.

It's after school and Eddie walked you to the van saying he'd be back. Now he's to deal with the dickheads as he called them.

"The fuck you want freak." Jason says throwing the basketball go Andy. The cheerleaders stop talking when they hear who Jason's talking to.

"Just came to let you dicks know y/n ain't coming to practice. She's got a migraine n don't feel great if she feels up to it she will be back tomorrow." HE says calmly hands in his pockets.

"Shut up you probably told her not to come so you can fuck her brain wash her with your satanic shit." Andy says.

"And you probably only want her here so you can perv over MY girl in her cheer uniform so you got something to jack off to later." Eddie says calm again. He turns around and walks out before he says something he's gonna regret.

Your sat in the van as Eddie jogs to the van around the front into the drivers seat. "Everything OK?" You ask playing eith Eddie's jacket.

"Yeah I may of just called Andy a pervert but oh well maybe he will stop bring a weirdo about you." HE says driving out of the school.

You smirk knowing Eddie defended you to all of them.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?" HE answers hand sliding to your thigh

"I love you so much." You say looking at him.

"I love you so fucking much to." HE says leaning over kissing you at the stop light.

"Kays let's goto yours... and lay in bed butt naked." You says smirking tangling your hands kissing him

"YES I Knew you'd agree!" HE says smiling holding your hands up. And you immediately start laughing. No matter what Eddie could always make you feel better. N that's why you worked so well

#eddie m #eddie munson thoughts #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie smut #eddie x reader #eddie x you #rockstar eddie munson #eddie my beloved #eddie stranger things

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signoraviolettavalery · 6 months

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Everything I can remember about the Den Haag and Amsterdam gigs, before I forget, but also I got about as little sleep as they did because I was a)worrying about their travel b)too hyped up to sleep

Den Haag

they were so hella energetic for people who had gone through All That to get here, Bojan was hella alive, but he didn't banter much with the crowd

It was Sinterklaas so they got soooooo many gifts. Hats, lofts of candy (traditional sinterklaas gift), bracelets, flags, letters...

Someone threw stroopwaffels because those are Kris' favorite

the Dutch crowd was so polite??? There was no barricade but nobody was grabbing them or their guitars, the only things that were being thrown at the stage were soft things like hats, nobody was chucking presents directly at them, any bracelets that got thrown were thrown gently onto the stage rather than at them

(fyi afterwards when the crew cleans up they go through and pick up all the gifts so as long as it gets onto the stage they'll get it)

they confirmed several times that they'll be back to the Netherlands

In Ne Bi Smel he changed "sem bil slep" to "sem kreten" again

when singing ASTP Bojan had the various parts of the venue cheer first, and the balcony that cheered the least loud got ASTP sung to them specifically; and at the end he changed the lyrics so they went "kako lepo disite me" aka "how nice you (plural) smell to me" idk was he saying the sweaty crowd filling this venue smelled nice to him (I have QUESTIONS)

there were balloons onstage, at some point, Jan decided he had a vendetta against the balloons, starting popping them with his boots by jumping around while playing the guitar and, being a clutz, got tangled in a flag/coat/something? by the drums and nearly fell over a;slkfjwe Jan why are you like this I love you

Kris got a pope hat that he put on right before NGVOT so he sang NGVOT as the pope I guess

Kris was drinking tea during the gig; every time Bojan was introducing the song he was just chilling by the drum set and sipping his tea while wearing sunglasses, iconic, gives zero fucks, I love him

Amsterdam

holy shit this gig was wild and magical. We gave them such a warm welcome and we screamed so loud I think even Bojan was impressed

the music as we were waiting for the gig was ABBA followed by Lady Gaga and Barbie Girl, and after the gig it was Avril Lavigne. We got most of those songs yesterday so Im' guessing Bojan picked that soundtrack :P

after they did Gola he asked "ok, so you know the words. How many of you hear aren't slovenian?" the entire fucking venue raises their hands. "we should get y'all on duolingo" Bojan Slovenian isn't on Duolingo!!

Bojan really, truly makes everyone feel seen. It's astounding. The opening act, Mia Nicolai, she was good, but she mostly just started in front of her, at the people in front of the stage. Bojan looks around and makes eye contact with everyone. The people on the balconies (I swear he looked straight at me, I died), the people in the front rows, the people on the sides, the people in the back. Every time, you feel seen. He's just got that something, not just stage presence, but that knack for being up there and making it a party that includes everyone

at some point, it got really hot and their crew started passing out water bottles. I think Bojan even went backstage during the Ne Bi Smel intro to ask them to give out more. He was really attentive and when one girl fainted or almost fainted during Ne Bi Smel he noticed, cut the music off immediately, the lights go up, and he made sure she was escorted by security and that she was okay before they restarted the song. Total pros.

introducing NGVOT: "I have to call a very special singer up to the stay. Kris. This song came about because of his broken heart. That heart is now healed" (important information to share I guess) and then Kris of course did NGVOT

Bojan: asks the crowd how to say umazane misli in Dutch. They tell him and he repeats it. Bojan then turns to Kris if he said it right, kris says no. "Well how would you say it then?" Bojan asks. "I don't know but what you said sounds wrong" as;lkfjwe Kris you're iconic

There were some Slovenians in the crowd! Including a girl whom Bojan went to high school with with. He dedicated Omamljeno Telo to her because "you heard it when I played it in high school"

He gave a really long intro to Plastika about how we're supposed to hate our analog minds and our analog bodies and how this is all terrible and basically just love yourself and don't judge others

Nace spent a lot of time playing across from Kris and didn't spend all that much time with his husband onstage :( :(

At the end Kris took off the Stozice outfit sleeves and threw them into the crowd so now there's two people who own that little piece of history

Anyway did I mention Amsterdam was magical, they were on fire, they were delighted to be there, the crowed was delighted to have them, and so enthusiastic, and there was just so much energy and hearing them live is truly something else. The recordings are amazing but being there, in that space with them, when they're at their best, hearing them actually perform those songs? Indescribable. Live CD when?

#joker out #amsterdam #den haag #i'm probably forgetting things so this post will be updated/edited #I gotta go catch a train now

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greatrunner · 2 months

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@tododeku-or-bust's post asking for examples of racism (experienced/witnessed) in fandom has got me thinking about how abstract the experience of antiblackness is once you (as in me, because I can only tell you my perspective) 'remove' yourself from the situation or the situation is considered 'settled.'

A lot of that is, obviously, a defense mechanism. If I didn't learn how to dissociate or numb myself from said experiences, I think I would be in a much worse place than I am right now.

But it also highlights how much I spent on Tumblr reading or experiencing antiblackness in different fandoms. Within the moment, the experience is raw and extremely triggering.

Left 4 Dead 2, Pacific Rim, Princess and the Frog, and Star Wars were probably the most active I'd been within a fanspace on Tumblr, and the antiblackness that ran rampant in those spaces was pretty vile.

At every turn, instead of owning up to the acts of passive and active racism, yt and non-Black users would break their backs to defend their position as 'not racist.'

The absolute refusal to investigate why they were so comfortable calling characters like Rochelle and Tiana boring or annoying compared to Lottie or Zoey allowed antiblackness to run rampant because, "I should be allowed to dislike a character!"

Do you know how aggravating it was to watch old-ass shows like Buffy and Angel at 14-then-22 and watch not only the writers but the audience (or LiveJournal or Television Without Pity) demonize characters like Charles Gunn and Robin Wood for doing things they cheered white characters on for doing... on the same shows? All while engaging in some truly racist stereotypes? It feels like you're going crazy when you see it. It made me wanna cry for help.

The fact that I had to remind Star Wars fans that 'DLF didn't mean it that way' wasn't an excuse for how LucasFilm treated Finn or John Boyega. That "actual racism" was benign, passive, uncritical, and often intentional.

The fact that much of my Pacific Rim experience was watching yt fandom call Stacker Pentecost an "asshole" or "control freak" because he was holding Raleigh and Chuck to account, or they wouldn't engage with his and Mako's relationship with the same respect they did with Herc and Chuck's.

I decided not to engage with the media outside of isolation or friend circles. As I moved further and further away from it, and it became vague and less sharp, I'd start to question, "Was it really that serious?" When so many people failed to read the room and centered themselves as victims of 'harassment,' was it really that serious?

And I have to remind myself, "Yeah, it was." Even as it becomes hard to verbalize or put into words to recall, it was and is that fucking serious.

And the worst part of all of this? Most of those racist shitheads knew that too. But they could get away with it, so...

The point ultimately is to drive people who'll challenge positions out of those spaces. That's why so many fanspaces don't promote growth or shifting dynamics. They prioritize anti-intellectualism and infantilization of the self or the work itself.

#greatrunners meta #tododeku or bust #antiblackness

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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 1 month

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Code Blue Ch. 52 - Masks

Summary: Craig and Jeffrey bicker over the missing vehicle. Josie and Craig continue to grow closer. A shocking sight gives Josie sore eyes. Jeff is concerned for a friend and gives his two cents. A theory sparks a hunting trip. Jeff exceeds his limits with Josie and she lets him know. Orlando is put on blast. Mama March speaks her truth. Someone else is put on blast by Jo. Megan confesses something that rocks Jo's world.

*Chapter Warnings* Strong language, angst, sexual references

Chapter word count: 8,854

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist:

Salem, Massachusetts

March 22, 2022

The three of you were all in different states of consternation over hearing that the Trans Am was missing and of course over the ghastly events that happened before that. Craig's was red-faced anger as he paced about, yours was simply shock as you stood hugging yourself with bristled arms and Negan's was an eerie calmness as he sat under a tree in unusual silence, softly gritting his jaw.

"The fucking car is gone. The...fucking...car...is...gone!!" Craig erupted as he chucked his phone to the ground.

Finally, Negan spoke. "Well maybe you should have took the fucking keys out of it."

Craig froze solid with a cocky head tilt and poisonous pupils. "Right...because people are just lined up to hop in and steal a rust bucket reeking of fucking animal dung."

"Shit happens." he uttered with no emotion.

"Shit happens?! Always got a wise crack for everything don'tcha Jeffrey?! Well yes, shit does fucking happen and not just to you. I would love to just sit under a fucking tree, all calm and relaxed, twiddling my fucking thumbs and not give a shit because HEY... shit happens!"

"Back off Parker and pull that stick out of your dick. It's making you cranky." Negan warned with a growl. "The Venus Flytrap could have been towed. Ever think of that? Whatever the explanation, there's not a goddamn thing we can do about it at this time, now is there snarky Parky?"

"Watch your insolent fucking tone! Towed is NOT good because that places the car at my property smart ass and we both know the rest of that clodhopper clan will realize they're missing two of their kin and come snooping around just like they did today over Jo's car!"

"And then we'll make sure they're reunited with their missing loved ones or did you forget who the fuck we are?? I now know where Dwight's ugly mug has been holing up so now I have a damn good reason to go on a little backwoods hunting trip and sniff around like a fucking bloodhound."

"Well you do what needs to be done and I'll go do what needs to be done. Cleaners are here. I'm going to go check in on that mess and then head to my meeting at Pozzulo's that I am now twenty minutes late for and have to explain to Sonny exactly why that is! And you...you can find your own fucking way into town!"

Craig storming exit broke your trance and you ran after him. "Craig please wait!"

He sighed heavily and stopped as you caught up to him behind some brush and stole his hand.

"Are you ok?" you softly asked.

"Is that a rhetorical question??" he spat and then immediately closed his eyes, releasing a softer sigh of remorse. "I'm sorry Jo. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that...you're asking me if I'M alright after what you just saw. I told you not to come. I don't care how many times you've seen these things. I didn't want you to see it with me. I can only imagine what you must think of me now."

"I think no less of you than I do Jason. I carry the same loyalty for you that I do him, especially now and I want to thank you for what you did for me because I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you and Ne..Jeff hadn't intervened. I could have been severely assaulted in more ways than one and possibly even be dead right now."

"Thanking me for what just went down don't even feel right. I'm not proud of it but predators like them need to be put down. How many other women and innocent people have they hurt, or even killed? and they surely weren't going to stop with you and I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone ever hurt you...and Jason's your brother Jo. Of course you would have a bias for him. Me?...I'm no one to you and I think your guilt over Blaise plays a huge role in your graciousness of me."

You weren't sure where it came from, the urge to hug him, but you did it anyways. It was your nerves, you deciphered. They needed the calming effect of his strong safe arms paired with the relaxing aroma of his cologne. The purpose was somewhat challenging though since you had to stand on your tippy toes due to his height which caused you to feel his gun awkwardly pushing against your lower boundaries.

Stunned from the unexpected embrace, Craig hands hesitated for a moment to accept your closeness. The feel of your small soft body against his and the intoxicating cherry scent of your hair in his face was morphing the big tough mob man in to a vulnerable little boy. He so longed for a woman's touch, but not just any woman's. Yours. With reluctance, he permitted his hovering hands to softly lay upon the small of your back.

"Craig...that's not true." you assured into his warm ear. "Of course I feel guilty about Blaise and I always will no matter what you say, especially after seeing the state you were in yesterday, so lost and in so much pain... but Craig, that guilt has nothing to do with what I feel in my heart. I think of you as my friend. I care about you. Is that so hard to believe?"

His hot breath prickled your ear. "Actually it is. You don't even know the details of my upbringing and let us not forget Liz's path of destruction."

After the longer than expected hug, you pulled back, leaving your arms still clasped around his neck and gazed up into his child-like orbs of blue. "Not everyone is out to hurt you Craig. Not everyone is Elizabeth and as far as Cyrus..."

His eyes wandered away from yours. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Craig, I too am a really good listener and have a strong but soft shoulder to lean on as you once told me and...

"Well Jo, your ears are not listening right now damn it!" he suddenly barked as he brought his hands to your upper arms and gave you a harmless warning shake, stunning you but not scaring you in the least.

The way he looked at you though, searching your face with a confused frustration in his gaze, his bold and blazing blues also held a very deep desireful passion when they locked on to your lips. Rendered stiff as a statue, you held your breath, for you could have sworn he was going to kiss you, but he didn't. Instead, he swiftly backed away, placed his hands on his hips and strongly exhaled.

"Why Jo? Why are you so damn persistent and stubborn?"

"And why do you continue to entertain this lifestyle when I can clearly see it's taking a massive toll on you? And working under Sonny no less? What about Blaise WHEN you get her back? Do you want to raise her in this world?"

"Here we go again. Jo...you know I can't get just get out."

"I don't believe that for one minute. The other day, you told me that I'm only stuck if I choose to be. Well, the same applies to you. I know it wouldn't be easy whatsoever, but it can be done... but that's not what I asked you."

You were thinking of both Lee and Luke in that moment and how they had lived a similar life many years ago and managed to leave it behind, but then again...that world was on another continent. This one was right here in Salem where Craig resided AND ran in his family and you knew he didn't do it to make papa proud. Speaking of the devil, Craig then referred to him.

"You met the reason why and he needs to be taken down. Satisfied? Jo, I really have to go. Have Jeff walk you back to your car."

"Fine but this conversation is not over."

He smiled, shook his head and lightly grazed your cheek with his fingertips. "I never believed for one minute that it would be. Take care love."

You watched Craig swagger off through the thicket leading back to the killing fields and once he was gone, you headed back to find Jeff.

"Come on!" Jeff groaned as he urgently fought to undo his uncooperative belt. "I'm gonna need my own goddamn pissin pants in about 2 fucking seconds."

Once he finally freed his manhood, he made no effort to contain his booming moan of relief as he rid his body of the booze he had previously overindulged in during his gardening project at Craig's complex.

Swaying his steaming fluid of gold back and forth in an artful figure 8 pattern, he closed his eyes and chuckled as it blasted into the dead leaves. "If a dude drains the main vein in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? And the answer is...I don't give a flying fuck cause I'm all out of fucks to give."

As he shook off the last few drops, his eyes popped open at the sound of your ghastly gasp. A gasp so great, you could have sworn you swallowed a giant bug and when you both snapped out of the initial shock, Jeffrey, quite utterly amused, took his sweet time to seal himself back up as he watched you bury your face in your hands.

"Jumpin Jehosephine!" He cheerfully jested. "I do believe your eyeballs just leaped from their sockets and rolled right up my dick. What's the matter you sneaky kitten? Never seen a man's junk before?"

"Not yours!!" you yelled in a muffle from underneath your sweaty palms.

He released a cocky snicker. "Now we both know THAT'S not true because YOU just did and I must say, that was one long intense eyeful. I do believe they call that gawking. So what do ya think pussycat? Do I measure up to the simile "hung like a horse?"

Against your will, your filthy warped mind silently answered that he certainly did and you cringed at the perverted thought.

"Oh my god will you just tuck that thing away already so I can turn around??"

You heard a tug of war zipping and a jingling of his buckle. "Voila. The eye of the tiger is all tamed for now but it won't be long before I have to unleash the beast once again. Liquids go through me like a cheap paper towel."

"Then I guess we better get going. Craig wants you to walk me back to my car."

If a pair of eyes rolled so hard that they could have done a complete 360, it was Jeffrey's as he shouted out into the woods in his ongoing bitterness. "Yes Sergeant Pecker. Oh damn, I mean Parker."

As you both began walking, you defended Craig. "You should really take it easy on him right now. He's going through a lot with Blaise missing."

"Right. Well I get that. I do. But you see, Craig likes games, and don't get me wrong, I'm all for that as you may have noticed, but his favorite one is where he likes to play "my dick is bigger than yours" and I can assure you, as you may have ALSO noticed, that I win that game, hands fucking down. He projects too much."

"Are you really dick measuring right now? And how would I know whom is more sizeable??? And.... wait...how would YOU know if your cock is more sizeable???"

"Ohhhh!" he jumped with a flinch and then chortled. "Did you just say...cock?"

You riposted with a comical confidence as you grinned. "What? I can say cock. You don't own the word. Cock...cock...COCK!"

"Apparently you can and will. Guess I am just more accustomed to hearing a man say it. Look at you, you dirty little girl! I just keep liking you more and more. Now...to add clarity to your curiosity, which clearly almost damn near killed the cute as shit cat just now, I know I've got a few inches on him because I've seen it. I mean, are you gonna bullshit me and say you've never seen any of your girlfriend's tits before? Craig drinks a lot, which, no judgment there whatsoever, but when he does, sometimes he puts on indiscreet displays like I just did such as coming out for a drink of water in the middle of the night as nekked as the day he was born."

"Ok well...I mean, that's just your opinion, is it not?

"Well you tell me then. You say you and Craigypoo are just friends but it sure as shit looked like a lot more than that over there in the brush."

"You were...spying on us???"

"Spying is such a strong word. I'd like to think of it more as investigating. You see, Craig and I may be at each other's throats more often than not, but we go back quite a ways and I actually care about his quirky Kiwi ass. He and I are a lot alike, possibly why we connected so easily. We both have been through the ringer in life, mostly due to a man's biggest weakness....women and their evil funnels of love and his ex did a fucking number on him. I don't want to see that happen again and you...well...as I said before, I know when he's catching the deadly pestilence called feelings and I do believe you told me that your heart was already spoken for. Do you see where I'm going with this cupcake? Sweets aren't always good for people. That shit rots your teeth if you aren't careful."

"Well what'ya know? Bad ass Negan is really a softy at heart. Never would have guessed that."

"Look, Craig and I, or anyone for that matter in this business, have to be a bad ass, which I'm sure you know but that doesn't necessarily make us who we are, which I'm sure you also know. When it's time to get down and dirty, just like today, the armor has to be put on nice a fucking thick so that you become bulletproof, metaphorically speaking and it's also to keep the human that resides under all that armor from fucking shit up with their soft spots. Damn good way to bite the dust and all of this can be said for relationships as well. And to be honest...Craig don't belong in this bullshit way of life. It's not who he is. Hell, it's not who I am, but sadly enough, he was born into it and didn't exactly have a choice like the two of you were discussing. And of course, the rebellious prick in him made a choice anyways and it has landed him in one fucked up predicament of being on the opposite side of his father by working for Cyrus' long time and greatest enemy, Sonny and honestly, neither kingpin is the better option. Craig did it for obvious reasons. To spite his father and regain control of his life, but...does he really have it? Not while Cyrus Renault is alive. We all have our reasons for the fucked up shit we do."

"Yeah, I know that has to be one hell of a burden for Craig to carry. I'm actually glad to know you're looking out for him. I know what Liz did to him and she did the same fucking thing to people I love, Jason being one. So I get it. And Craig knows my situation with Lee and how I feel about him so I don't see that he would ever let himself develop any sort of feelings for me."

"The iconic Elvis tune begs the differ, cause the poor fool may not be able to help falling in love with you. Food for thought there naive Nancy. Well, we are back to your car. You uhh...think you could give me a ride to get my bike? I'd love to take a spin in this beastly hotrod and compare it to my baby."

"Your baby? You call your bike your baby?"

"Nah, that's my bitch. My 67 Impala is my baby, my black magic woman but I let my sons have her. I got a truck or two also and a charger."

"S...sons? You have.... kids?"

"Yeah, shocker huh?? It happened not once, but motherfuckin twice while experimenting with the birds and the bees in my youthful days. Believe that shit? Apparently you don't. Your astonishment astounds me. You know, other women didn't find me as "eww" as you do."

"Oh stop it. Sorry. I guess I just didn't peg you to be the daddy type."

"Ohhh I can be all sorts of daddy darlin. Sugar daddy, your daddy, whichever daddy you want honey pie. Damn I love me some pie." he teased in a low snarl as the dimpled grin resurfaced. "So what'ya say miss American Pie. Drive this Chevy to the levee? I'm gonna do some Chevy measuring instead of dick measuring this time but you can bet your sweet round ass that I'll still say mine's better than yours."

"Yeah sure, I'll give you a lift...but umm...what about the missing car?"

Jeff rested his arms on the top of your car and let his squinting eyes wander around in the sun. "Yeahhh. I have a damn good theory about that. Came to me while I was marking my territory. I'll bet my entire ball sack that there was a third little piggy in the backseat of that pigsty and he got spooked when he saw the big bad wolf, yours fucking truly, and that tells me it was none other than Dwighty who chose flighty over fighty and now I'm going to have to go huff and puff and blow his goddamn house in."

"Jesus, if that's true, then..."

"Then he's going to squeal to the hogs which means it won't be long before a pack of passel come sniffin and snortin around here. Looks like I will be going on that hunting trip sooner than later."

"You're going to go alone??? At least take Craig and how are you even going to find them?"

"Did you not see what I just did all by my tall, dark and lonesome? Craig can sit this one out so he can focus on other things. Besides, I won't be alone. This time, the boys, aka the Saviors, will attend AND I'll also have mean, lean, brain bashing machine Lucille. And finding the farrow and that runt Dwight is easy peasy lemon squeazy when you got a photographic memory and Spinelli the cybershark to look up the plates I took note of. Lets get scootin sweet cheeks. I'm gettin all fired up for a grizzly game of pig chase."

"And you call ME trouble?" you giggled and got in the car after he did.

"As I said buttercup, I call things as i see it."

The first five minutes of the ride was quiet as you both were in your own thoughts. Yours were all over the place due to what you had just witnessed and how strangely calm you were about it all. It wasn't normal. You should have been appalled, frightened and traumatized even, like Lee surely was from his past, but you were neither. Normal, something you deeply craved, had never been your life though, from Peter to Gerry to Jason until you met Lee and believed you had finally found it, but even that was too good to be true after learning of his double life. It was like you were a magnet to the dark underworld. Drawn to it like a moth to a flame and all knew how that always ended. All but the moth.

Jeffrey's thoughts were evasive over the day's events. Even he craved normalcy and he was bound and determined to have some every now and then.

"Well, I've concluded that yep, my Chevy's better than your Chevy. No offense there sweetheart. I think this car is the goddamn shit for being twenty years younger, but lets see if the sound system is. You mind if I turn on some music therapy? We still have about ten minutes left."

Your eyes playfully rolled. "Sure."

He turned on the radio and began punching the pre-programmed stations. When he hit the last one, his excitement startled you.

"Ahhhhh HELL GIRL!! This is creepy as shit!! Swift cheeks has spoken! I rest my case!!!" he loudly gloated and obnoxiously began singing. "I knew you were trouble when you walked in!!!"

youtube

"What's creepy as shit is you singing a Taylor Swift song in my car, or even at all. You're a Swifty??"

"Not in the fucking least." he chuckled. "But she's always got something to say and an ex to diss and you just can't fucking escape the madness. She's a music plague but hey, it worked out b...e...a..utiful this time, didn't it? Oh...Ohhhhho Trouble trouble trouble!! Oh Ohhh...."

"Pleeeeeese stop singing Neg..errr Jeffr....or whatever your name really is."

"I thought we already discussed this darlin, but I gather you don't want to go around callin me daddy. You can save that for the bedroom." he teased with a wink. "So...Jeff will do just fine in the meantime."

You had dealt with his rude and raunchy behavior quite well for the entire hour you had even known him but this time he went too far and his sexual statement triggered you.

"Well JEFF...the only person I've ever called daddy or would call daddy is my father so why don't you work on respectfully calling me by my actual name and not a some different pet name every five minutes and back off on the suggestive and disparaging innuendos while you're at it."

His brows sprung up and his lips puckered. "Oooooo. Do...not...ENTERRR." he whispered with a scolded smile and then he shamefully softened.

"Alright...Josie. I stand corrected once again and I do apologize. My remark was so not cool. I tend to get carried away, mostly around beautiful women and clearly I have crossed a line and entered a forbidden territory. I will do my best to address you by your given name, scout's honor, but it's going to be like teaching an old dog new tricks so I will most likely piss on the floor every now and then. Will that work for you?"

"Hmmm. I guess I can give you brownie points for your sincere apology and predetermination to make it right. Oh, and would you like me to stop at the store to pick you up your own pair of pissin pants for when you have those accidents?"

Now his mouth dropped open. "Woah DOWN girl. Will you stop kickin my ass already? I know I said I have nuts of steel but using my own jokes against me hurts my ego much worse than that blow below the belt I took earlier. Let this old dog have a little dignity will ya?"

You pleasantly smiled at your victory as you pulled up in front of the repair shop. "Alright. I guess I can do that after what you did for me."

"Much appreciated. Oh and let me give you my digits before I go. The more wolves you have at your beck and call, the better."

"I suppose that's a good idea with the way my life is going anymore."

The numbers were exchanged and then he got out.

"Jeffrey, wait."

"Yes...Josie?" he emphasized with a grin as he leaned his tall frame down to peer in at you.

"So you were a boy scout?"

His grin widened into a full set of pearly whites. "Nnnnope! Thanks for the lift. See ya later Trouble."

You smiled and shook your head as he tossed his overshirt over his shoulder, then shut the door and swaggered off the same way he had swaggered in.

About ten minutes later, you were heading up the hospital stairs to go see your mom and sister when you found Orlando slouched and sleeping in a chair outside of the room. You couldn't help but giggle as you stood there for a few moments viewing the vulnerable vision of drool lightly leaking from his softly snoring lips as his head laid slumped upon his drooped shoulder and from that shoulder, his arm hung freely to the floor in the basic chair of no side support. One wrong move and he was going to nose dive right out of it.

As you crept up, you made sure you stood at his leaning side so he wouldn't fall in case you startled him and then you placed your hand on his shoulder.

"Landy." you whispered.

The drooling doc drew in a snorting breath and flinched as he gaped up at you.

"It's ok. It's ok. It's just me." you assured him and then chuckled. "What are you doing out here sleepy head? Wasn't your shift over hours ago?"

He slowly sat up and stretched, still not quite alert as his eyes flitted. "Oh uh...yeah I...it was. I've been watching over your sister for your mum while she went home and refreshed. She said you were supposed to be here soon so I coaxed her to go by offering to stay until one of you returned."

His kind heart had you gushing. "Landy, that was so sweet of you. You didn't have to do that but thank you for looking out for my family. I'm here now. You should go home and sleep. You look so exhausted."

He yawned, then his brows frowned with embarrassment as he became aware of his saliva remnants and swiftly swiped it away with his thumb. "Yeah. I am a little but...I'm in no rush to go home with Luke still lingering around being a bigger douche than usual with this whole Elizabeth case and besides, I wanted to see you. You ok?"

"Definitely been better, but..fake it until you make it right? So, is Megan awake?" you asked as you peeked in her window, trying to avoid any and all conversations about Luke, especially about how he almost arrested you which could spark another blow up between the two feuding brothers.

"On and off but she hasn't been talking much with being all doped up. You know you don't have to fake anything with me right? If you wanna talk, cry, scream or even just sit together in silence...I'm here Jo. Always."

You felt the sting of happy tears wanting to form but you weren't about to allow anymore crying, so instead, you smiled and hugged him.

"You're the best, you know that? Thank you for helping me out yesterday. I hope you didn't get too much shit for being late."

He gave you a good squeeze and sighed against your ear. "It was all worth it. I'd do anything for you."

As you smiled in the close and comforting embrace, your eyes lifted to see someone who was not smiling. Your mother.

"Well, that is very kind of you and reassuring Dr. Bloom." the fiery haired Margaret March respectfully interjected, but with a passive aggression as her judging eyes locked on him. "I appreciate your offered supervision of Megan and I thank you for your consistent succor of my other daughter but she has the good Dr. Pace for that and I am sure you have your own responsibilities to tend to instead of spending your extra time fussing over your best friend's partner."

"Mommm!" you harshly stressed. "Can you be any more rude? Landy is my friend too and that's all he's doing is being a friend because that's what friends do."

"It is not my intentions to be rude Joey. I just find it strange that I see more of him around you than I do Lee and I have to wonder what Dr. Bloom's own intentions are and maybe your own as well Josephine."

"Oh my god mom...."

Orlando politely cut in, calm and cool with a smile that you saw right through. "It's alright Jo. Your mum is only looking out for your best interest and now I am going to go look out for mine with about 4 cups of coffee before I attempt to drive home."

"But...you don't have your car. I drove you here, remember? I can give you a ride in awhile."

Orlando felt Margaret's eyes burning right through him, warning him to decline. "No really Jo. Thank you but it's fine. I can call a cab. I'll...talk to you later."

He gave a glum smile and rushed off, leaving you fuming with slitted eyes at your mother. "That was just flat out mean mom!"

"What's mean is you not telling Lee about what happened to Megan or not even speaking to him at all for that matter."

"W..what? How do..."

"Yes...he called me in an attempt to locate you and of course I didn't dare tell him you spent the night with David...which..why were you not with Lee??"

"Jesus mom. What...you have a problem with Dave now too?? All we did was watch a movie and then went to bed...separately."

"What I have a problem with is, is your closeness with other men even if they are good friends. I know I sound hypocritical but I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did when you already have a damn good man who adores you. Would you like to see Lee canoodling with other women? How would that make you feel?"

But you did know how it felt when you found out about his one nighter with Britt all those years ago or when you saw him "canoodling" with that Jess girl in his boat house who you went to school with... and then there was Ethan.

"Canoodling??!!! I am not screwing around on him mom, nor would I ever because I know what that feels like and he's also had that done to him as well and...and you don't even know what's going on with Lee so it would be nice if you would stop acting like I'm doing something wrong."

"Well how hard is it to talk to your boyfriend?"

And that did it. You couldn't take it anymore, withholding the tears that begged for Lee and your mother had triggered them. "He's the one who don't know how to communicate mom and that's actually one of the reasons I'm here because I don't know what to do anymore and I needed my mom to tell me what to do!"

You were now sitting in the chair Orlando had skillfully slept in with your hands over your face, rocking back and forth to keep yourself breathing.

The grinding of chair legs closed in on you and your mother's soft hands pulled yours down as she sat at your side. Her evergreen eyes that always appeared to be walnut brown and had been spewing daggers at Orlando only moments ago, were now moist with compassion as she tenderly wiped your tears away.

"You know that I cannot tell you what to do but I can listen and offer you the best advice that I can. What happened Jo Jo? You and Lee seemed so happy."

You knew you couldn't tell her the full blown detailed story, so you gave her a brief summary instead, being careful not to make Lee out to be a bad person because he wasn't and you knew anything that you told her, she would never forget just like she hadn't with Gerry.

"We..we were Ma but...there's things he won't talk to me about. Things that are eating him up inside and these things affect me too which is affecting us and any time that he does open up to me, he withholds the most important parts, although he will swear he told me everything and then I find out about them later and now I...I..."

She finished what you struggled to say. "You don't trust him."

Sighing, your lips pouted with guilt. "I..I can't help it. I DID trust him, more than anyone. So much so that I told him things I have never spoken to anyone about...you know, like...Gerry and all the secrets and lies and...Lee would tell me things from his past too. We connected in a way I cannot even describe. We were so good for each other. It was as if we were healing the damaged parts of each other and god mom, I fell so hard and so fast for him. I'm so crazy in love with him that it hurts to breathe when he's not around."

"I will not ask you to tell me the details, but without knowing them, I can only offer you so much advice. I know what Gerry did and now I do have to ask this much. Joey, did Lee cheat on you?"

"Oh god no." you quickly blurted out. "It's nothing like that mom. I swear. He would never, that much I trust him with. I know how much he loves me and he's fighting like hell not to lose me but I just don't know what to do. I can't be with someone that will not fully give themselves to me. I can't live with waiting for the next bomb to drop because I am always going to believe there is one coming. I don't care about anything he's done and I told him that. This is about trust and honesty and being a team and all I feel like is his opponent."

Margaret's mind wandered to the day when Lee had asked for her blessing to marry you. She had given it to him because she could see that he too was crazy in love with you, but she had also given the blessing with warning not to hurt you and now she understood why he hadn't asked you yet.

"Whatever it is that Lee is concealing, I feel that is why he is distancing himself from you. I do not doubt for a minute that he does not love you with all of his heart and soul, but speaking from my own experiences, I feel he has been deeply hurt in some way, just as you had been and he's just having more difficulty in getting past it and believing that you won't judge him even when you say that you won't. He may even be trying to protect you by pushing you away because maybe he feels he isn't good enough for you?"

You knew it was all of that and most likely much more, but now you wanted to know how her experiences were relevant. "Is...is that what happened between you and Victor?"

"I had a feeling this is why you have chosen to come to me about this and I'm not really sure how to have this conversation with you because of your father. It was all such a painful time and I thought I was going to lose my family over it all..."

"But you didn't. Daddy forgave you and you both got through it because you..."

"Because Victor gave me no choice." she firmly stated and became a bit shaky.

"W..what?"

Her eyes became glassy with tears. "There's a reason people sometimes do not speak of things Jo and this was why I did not. I too have withheld the entire truth to spare my family of unnecessary pain. I...I was in love with Victor and he with me. I...I still love him."

You knew she loved him, but it still stung to hear her say it as you squeezed her hand that still bore your father's wedding ring.

"Mom...I knew this and although I do not condone what you did, the heart wants what the heart wants." you attested as you thought of Lee's identical words to you that morning in his voicemail. "We cannot help who we love and well...you and Victor also share a son because of that love."

She began to softly weep. "I loved your father too and Victor knew it. He demanded I stay with him when I learned I was with child because I made him believe Bo was not his, which I did to protect your father's heart. He wanted me to live a normal family life, one that he could not give me because of his world. A world of crime and lies and secrets and danger. A world that later kept Bo and him at odds just as it did between Jason and Bo and even Gerry had and still has his issues with his father over it. Sometimes I feel Bo was taken from us to punish me for what I did and for keeping his paternity a secret for all those years and that loss changed Victor a lot. He became darker. I suppose Lee can relate after suffering the loss of his own son. Anyways, Victor knew he could never give himself fully to me either and he wanted me to be safe and I know that's why Jason did the same thing to Britta. I know I made the right decision in choosing your father and I do not regret it at all or I would not have all of my precious children but the what if's will always haunt me and I don't want that for you. I don't doubt your love for Lee but you have to be the one to decide if that's enough. For me, it would have been but I couldn't fight for someone who wouldn't let me and you're not letting Lee fight for you by running away so all I can tell you is, before you let the love of your life go, you need to ask yourself if you can live with that because it seems to me that Lee sees you as forever."

Forever. That word punched a hole right through your chest...but now...you knew you had to go see him and give him that third and final chance to come clean.

As you took your phone out to call him, Megan's cries pierced through the halls.

"Mommm!! Momma Mom MOMMM!!!"

Margaret went running into her room as you stood in the doorway and watched your distressed sister cry like a baby in her mother's arms.

"It's alright. I am here my darling girl. So is joey. You are safe."

Megan's welled up eyes darted around your mom's shoulders to look at you and then she cried even harder.

"You're probably happy and think I got what I deserve and you would be right after everything I have done."

You now stepped into the room, hating that you actually felt sorry for her. "That's not true Megan. No matter what you've done, you did not deserve this."

"Yes I d..did." she bawled. "You don't even know and...and...and you need to know...oh god, my leg...it hurts. It hurts so bad mom."

Your mother then took over to try and calm her as she pushed the call button for the nurse. "Megan, lets not talk right now alright? You need to be checked out. You had surgery on your leg. It is broken."

"But I want to talk! I...I did something so bad."

Now you were highly intrigued and walked up to her bed. "Was it Ethan? Did he make you do something? Did he...did he do this to you?"

"Josephine. Not now. Give her time to breathe!" your mother squawked and got up to look out the door as your sister's sobs continued. "She needs pain medication and where the hell is the nurse?? This is ICU for christ's sake."

Nothing good came from your mother's curses so you backed off for the moment, but when an opportunity arose, you were going to grill your sister over her statement because nothing good came from Megan period. Maybe some drugs would get her talking, you thought as you glanced at the ticking clock. You had just over an hour to meet Lee at the cemetery but you were not leaving there without answers.

Finally, the nurse came in. It was Angel and you became unglued. "Oh hell no! You will not lay one one sleezy finger on my sister you morbid insufferable bitch."

Megan's eyes widened as did your mother's. "Josephine Leeanne March! What on earth has gotten into you??" Margaret reeled.

"This!! This succubus right here is what. She couldn't even handle caring for a 4 year old little girl who is now missing because Lilith here was too busy coming on to my boyfriend and then when he shot her down, she was spreading her legs all of that night for Mr. Carpenter, the man who accused Lee of medical malpractice in the death of his daughter which we all knew wasn't true but it didn't stop her from repeatably banging the abusive lunatic who damn near ruined Lee's career and reputation all for money."

Your mother knew you very well and although she knew you could be extreme as you were being now, she knew you would not lie and the information repulsed her.

"Nurse Smart. I would like you to retrieve my daughter's doctor and find another nurse to administer her treatment. I will not allow such conflict of interest in my daughter's well being because it causes me to believe you may not be able to be objective. Had I been aware of this the last time you were in here, I would have put a stop to it then."

"Mrs. March, I assure you that...."

"Your assurance assures me of nothing, now please LEAVE."

Angel's jaw tightened and her eyes practically set you on fire. "As you wish. I will inform the other nurse to come in and page her doctor."

She left and you apologized. "Sorry mom. That woman is bad news and I couldn't hold my tongue."

"Well, you were looking out for your sister so I can let the theatrics slide, but I am very glad you said something regardless."

Megan became upset again. "I wanna go home Momma. I don't like it here. I don't want to end up like Elizabeth. Please take me home!!"

"Honey, you just had surgery. You have to stay for awhile but I will be right here with you. No one is going to hurt you. I promise."

You wished that were true but you couldn't be certain until Megan named her attacker. Another nurse finally came in, checked her vitals, asked her a few questions and then shot her up with some more morphine which didn't take long to work it's magic.

"Mom, I can't stand it anymore." you contended against her wishes. "Megan...who did this to you?"

She whimpered in fear as she looked to your mom for approval. "It's alright Megan. Whatever you can remember, whatever you're comfortable with telling us, please do so. We want to know what happened and stop whoever did this from doing it to someone else."

"Megs...look at me." you softly commanded. "Was it Ethan?"

Her brows furrowed and then she became agitated. "I...I don't...know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Surely you must have seen your abductor?"

She broke down again. "I...I...I keep trying to picture his face but I can't."

Your mom took her hand. "Ok..ok my love. Just breathe and try to tell us what you do remember. Anything at all."

"I...I re..remember...Dave. He...he was helping me and then...and then I woke up here."

You were trying so hard to remain patient and understanding. "But how did you get there? What is the last thing that you remember before you saw Dave?"

"I...the police station. I..I was talking to that detective about Blaise. I went there to tell him that I thought Ethan may have taken her because I couldn't stand the thought of that poor little girl being scared and crying for her mommy and Ethan...he...he has no business being a father. He is so mean and controlling. He always talked about how he would have her one day so I..I had to try and help her."

"He has no business breathing. You don't even know half of the things he's done. Or maybe you do since you were sleeping with the enemy."

"JoSEPHINE!" your mother piped again.

"Sorry but it's true...so...ok what happened after that?"

"I...." she paused and her entire face scrunched up in forced thought. "I...I don't know. It's all a fog."

"Alright, lets give her a break Jo. She needs time to..." your mom began.

"There is no time mom! You know what Jason was involved in so let me clue you in about Ethan. He's in that life too, only he is a monster. He's the one that attacked his own brother with a knife, you know, Orlando? The one you just berated. He's lucky it was only his hand and that I was there to stop it and Ethan has done other things to Lee that I will not even mention and now this! My sister is in the hospital, lucky to be alive and my landlord's child is missing so Megan needs to start talking!"

"Jo, I swear. I can't remember right now. I'm trying...but..."

"But what???"

"But...I don't...I don't think it was Ethan."

"What do you mean you don't think it was Ethan?? You just said you don't even remember."

"Because I...it...it don't feel like it was him?" Megan explained as if she were questioning herself.

"That makes no damn sense. Either it was him or it wasn't Megan! I mean, who the hell else would it be???"

"I said I don't know Jo. It's literally all blank after I left the police station. It's like having a blackout from drinking."

Her words made you recall the recent experience you had only two days ago when you took your anxiety medication and drank a bottle of wine and strangely...it was the around same time that she went missing.

"Could you have been drugged?? Think Megan. Mom, did the doctor do a toxicology? Surely they would have."

"I have not been told anything about that. When I got here, she was already in surgery and after you left, the police were speaking with him and wouldn't tell me anything. When the doctor comes in, I will ask."

Luke probably knew since he was the one doing the questioning last night but he wasn't going to tell you now that he was a big bad boy in blue, minus the blue.

"Or." your mom went on. "She just don't remember because of the trauma so I think the questions are enough for today."

"Just a few more mom. Ok, Megan. What about BEFORE the police station. What do you remember? Where was Ethan then?"

"I...don't...know."

"So you remember going there, but nothing before or after until Dave. What the hell Megan? Why wouldn't you remember anything before that?? You remembered that Elizabeth is dead and that happened BEFORE!"

She was becoming disconcerted and anxious and the heart rate monitor began chiming."

"I don't know. I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!!!" she cried and your mom finally stood up and angrily pointed at you.

"That is ENOUGH JO!"

"Alright fine. Then at least tell me what you meant when you said you did something bad."

"Damn it Joey, you are not too old for me to pull you out of this room by your ear!"

"No mom. I want to talk to her. Alone." Megan insisted.

"What? Absolutely not. You're already upset."

"Mom please. I...I need to tell her something private. It has nothing to do with this."

"Then can't it wait? Why now?"

She began bawling. "Because I'm a liar."

Now you were unsettled. Megan's lies were a common thing that you were used to but this...this seemed different. She said it had nothing to do with any of this so what bomb was she going to drop on you and why now like your mom asked? Maybe it was her near death experience that was actually giving her a conscience. Whatever it was, it was bad just like she said because she was genuinely distressed over it.

"Alright, but only 5 minutes. I'm going to go find the damn doctor myself."

After your mom left, you sat down in her seat and went straight to the point. "What did you do Megan? Just spit it out. After the things I've been through and things you've done to me, I can handle it."

"I...I don't think you can. Not this time."

"Jesus Megan, I don't scare all too easily but now you are scaring me. Did...you lie just now to mom? Do you really remember and...you and Ethan maybe did something bad? Wait...do you KNOW where Blaise is???"

"No Jo! I don't and I didn't lie. I told you it's not about that."

"Then WHAT did you DO??"

She started trembling and her lips quivered as she spoke. "I do remember something from awhile ago. At mom's and..."

"AND???"

"Please stop shouting, please stop shouting." she squeaked as she winced.

You closed your eyes, inhaled deeply and slowly released the desire to strangle her scrawny little neck right then and there. "OK...I'm calm....tell..me."

"It was the day...that Gerry was there. I was home but...you didn't know and I...I heard you both talking. It was about...about what, well that night..that night when..."

"Will you stop stuttering and just tell me what Gerry has to do with anything??"

"Ok, Ok...I..." she sucked in a breath and then began rapidly speaking, reminding you of how Spinelli did that when he was extremely nervous, usually from being cornered. "It was about when he cheated on you with me, except...except he...he didn't. He never did. We never did and I lied. I lied about it all to hurt you because you always had all the men and I was a nobody and always used. No one ever cared for me like they did you so I...I...followed him to the bar that night. He was upset and drinking because of how you had been shot the month before and you both were having problems over it. We sat and drank and he told me all about it because he said you wouldn't talk to him much about it and he felt so guilty that it happened and he...he was crying Jo, just like I saw him sitting in his truck crying after you guys argued at mom's and you took off, only that time I felt bad because you had Lee and he had no one and that was because of me because I...I drugged him Jo and then I took him home because he was in no shape to drive and I...I put on your perfume and came onto him, but he..he rejected me and passed out. I was angry because even then, he didn't want me so I sent you that text from his phone and you believed it and he believed it because he couldn't remember anything when he woke up the next morning lying next to me, both of us naked because I..I undressed him to make it seem real and then you were pounding on his door and..."

You stood up so fast that the chair fell over. Your chest was so tight and your heart was racing. Your entire body violently shook and you couldn't speak as burning tears streamed from your gaping eyes. It was if you had been knocked into some other dimension from the shocking blow.

Margaret immediately came in from the sound of the crashing chair. "Joey?? What's happened? Jo?? Josephine, talk to me!"

Her voice and Megan's crying all echoed as you became giddy upon your feet. You were either going to pass out or go to jail over a moment of temporary insanity and you didn't want either so you stumbled out the door and began running, panting, hyperventilating as you heard her screams fading the further you got.

"Jo I'M SORRY!! I'M SO SORRY!!!"

@redeemer46

youtube

#lee pace #lee pace fanfiction #code blue #doctors #dark fiction #dark stories #love stories #craig parker #orlando bloom #orlando bloom fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan #jdm #negan #jolee #organized crime #rpf #drama #Youtube

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kairiscorner · 9 months

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olivia rodrigo my lodi 🫂

seeing him tonight... it's a bad idea, right? – miguel o'hara x reader (heavy angst)

content warnings! mentions of toxic relationships. please don't read below the cut if you are uncomfortable with these topics ^^

“why can't you leave me the fuck alone?”

“and watch you mope about why we're not together anymore all pathetic like that? it's pathetic for sure, but it's just getting sad now.”

you sighed as you took a long drag from the cigarette you fumbled out of the packet and, with shaky hands, took it out of your mouth and puffed a big cloud of gray and white smoke. he chuckled as he watched the puff of smoke dissipate into the air, hearing you cough as the nicotine burned in your lungs. "you okay?" he asked you with what sounded as hints of concern in his voice as he snuck a cigarette from you and lit himself one, putting the stick in his mouth and quickly blowing the smoke out of his mouth. there was something so picturesque, ethereal, about the way he breathed in and out the smoke from the cig–like he was a still life painting, and beneath all those pretty layers on his barely covered up, tan body; the way those black, fluffy curls perched and hanging on the top of his head, down to touch his eyebrows in little hooks just mesmerized you. and it angered you so much that it did, when nothing about him should have any meaning left to you anymore.

you clenched your burning cigarette by its body and squeezed it into two. you blew the remaining smoke out from your nostrils, losing the urge to puff another smoke as you chucked your cigarette to the side and snuffed it out with the foot of your shoe, putting so much pressure on it that the ash spread apart and created a kind of arc-like shape in your stead. he watched as you walked off, sighing softly, the clacking of your heels following you. though you couldn't get away for long since he took your arm in his and pulled you closer to him as he exhaled another puffy cloud of smoke. "it's not a good look on you to be such a bitch, y'know? if you have a problem with me, just say it. we aren't together anymore, don't feel ashamed or any of that... sympathetic bullshit you're thinking of." he practically berated you with his shit ass condescending tone that made you wanna bash his face in.

how fucking dare he talk to you like that? speak for you, do exactly what he kept doing when you two were together—make all his choices your choices, his feelings as your feelings? it may be a far stretch, but hearing him disregard how either of you feel... it sucks ass, it always does. why does he not take you any more seriously after you broke up with him? "are you thinking that i'm supposed to want you back?" he asked you monotonously, breaking the silence as he looks at you with tired eyes. dark circles accentuated the shape of his hazel brown orbs. it didn't seem like this week was of any comfort to him, not when tonight marked the one-year anniversary when you two had broken up. you confronted him, in this very alley that led back to his place, and told him you couldn't take it anymore.

'i don't want this anymore. i'm done. leave me alone and let me live my life.'

and some hurtful words were exchanged that can never be taken back.

'and you think you had a life before me? i'm your everything. you can't... fucking... you can't leave me!'

and some promises were made, on top of the pile of the carcasses of many unfulfilled, unanswered promises and questions that lingered in the miasma of discomfort and willful blindness to what each other wanted back then, needed from each other back then.

'i don't need you to tell me what i can and can't do anymore.'

weaknesses were exposed, and strengths were diminished.

and the love... oh, was there even any love there?

you yanked yourself out of miguel's grasp and crinkled your eyebrows together, shoving your hands in your jacket's pockets, looking away from him as his gaze burns into the side of your head that's turned to him—not letting even a single strand of your hair or patch of your skin escape his exhausted gaze anymore. "i honestly couldn't give a shit about what you want." you blurted out, not leaving the spot you're standing at, despite all the signals in your body urging you to lift your feet up on the ground, kick up, and run away right now before anything else can happen. but you don't. you don't, because you know that there's something more complex than simply wanting miguel to go away in what you want.

but for the life of you, you can't figure even a glimpse or whiff of it out.

miguel sighed as he leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his wispy hair, more curly locks falling down on his forehead, touching his eyebrows. "right. figures." he muttered. "why the fuck do you have to be here?" you asked him with a gruff voice, cracking due to the smoke you inhaled. "i live around here." he reminds you all nonchalantly, pissing you off even more. "...i know that." "and yet, you came by here anyway." he pointed out. he was always a smart ass, giving unsolicited thoughts and opinions when no one needed them. you refused to respond to that and kicked at the snuffed out, squeezed up cigarette that was bent on the pavement.

"if you want to hurt me, go ahead. i know i did really bad shit to you, stuff you never deserved. go ahead, hurt me." he told you as he approached you, his voice becoming huskier and raspier as you heard him from up close. his voice always got like that after argumets, you just noticed now; the way his voice would soften, falter, like his voice would literally get on one knee and yield—let you have your way after him having his way time and time again. "i can't be good for you, and... i don't think i can ever be good for you, really." he said with a sigh as he dropped his cigarette and snuffed it out next to yours. the bent shape of your cigarettes seemed to form crude hearts, the two big curves of a cartoon heart were shaped out by the curved cigarettes you both snuffed the lights out of; snuffed these hearts' beings out of.

he nudged you gently with his elbow and showed you his hands, raising them up gently to show you he means no harm, no pain, no... nothing towards you. he genuinely wants you to do what you've always wanted to him, no matter what it is, he's come to accept it. "just do what you have to. please don't keep... oh, fuck it." he murmured as you kept your gaze down, away from him. you weren't used to this, you could never get used to this; miguel was never the first guy to shove words into your mouth and plant decisions in your mind for you, but he wasn't the worst. there have been countless times when your heart was used, borrowed, broken, stamped on, torn apart—but none of the people who hurt you ever even tried to make amends; it was never in their nature to give you love, it was only in their nature to propagate hurt, and you never knew why you had a soft spot for human garbage like that, less than human garbage.

though he was never perfect, there was some bit of you that felt a catharsis around miguel when things weren't as bad as they were before the breakup, when you really felt like all those bad days... they'd never happen again; the eye of the storm had passed, and a great, sunny day was upon you. but like all sunny mornings that soon became troublesome, fretful, and stormy nights—they never lasted. miguel's smile was warm, once; his embrace felt welcoming, once—but whenever you think of him... you can't help but hear the echoes of the voices in your head whenever he'd get affectionate towards you, intimate with you: 'his love won't last, don't even hope for it.'

you kept your distance, you liked him—you... you really liked him; more than you can ever imagine. he used to not be so overbearing, he used to not be so angry all the time and more patient, he kept understanding for you that you wanted space... but you were always, always on the brink of breaking, even when it was never his fault. and you still are—the worst part of it all, though? you're always on the verge of breaking because... you can't help but yearn for the past with the old him again.

"you some masochist or something?" you asked him with a deadly gaze as you finally glared up at him, seeing his dark eyes become a little swollen. the sobbing was inevitable for him, his soft spot for you was too sensitive, it was an exposed muscle, exposed nerve of his that made him less... furious, and more... protective, yet vulnerable. he sniffled back his tears and tried keeping his voice leveled. "you could say that." he answered simply as he rubbed at his eye, wiping a tear away before it streaked down his cheek, but you caught him—he always did that whenever you'd scream at him on those off days, even when he tried to help, but just can't help.

you tried not to feel bad, not to feel pity, not to... feel a little guilty that you might've hurt him, too, like he hurt you—but you can't ignore that gnawing feeling in your gut that grew the longer you were around him. constantly being reminded of yourself, of your misunderstood to even yourself's self... you can't help it anymore. "look, it's stupid, i know—it's... horrible of me to ask you to do this, when i don't even know if you want to, that was my problem, wasn't it? i protected you from stuff i didn't even know about, didn't know the slightest bit about? i was suffocating you?" "...yeah." you told him with the quiver of your lower lip, with you instantly bit back as hot tears streamed down your cheeks, your chin quaking as you stifled the sobs; but they could only be held in for so long.

"yeah, you did..." you muttered as, along with the coming rain drops, your tear drops joined the pattering rain—staining the pavement as your sobs and cries were released into the air, mixing with the sounds and roars of the thunder, as miguel silently listened to you now, as you exclaimed out how you really felt all this time to him. "is it my fault i'm so scared you'll leave me like everyone else? is it my fault for thinking nobody really cares about the me behind this face? behind this body? is it... is it my fault i don't want you to protect me from my own demons because, even i can't keep them at bay! is it my fault for thinking you'd... you'd hurt me, and that you... your love wasn't even that?" you choked out, hiccuping and sniffling all the while as you screamed your lungs out at miguel. he hesitantly extended his hands towards you, to reach out to you—but he doesn't touch you, he refuses to touch you unless you personally tell him to.

as your sobbing slowed and your breathing became ragged, miguel finally let out his side of things. "and is it my fault that i felt so... ashamed of myself for not being enough to help you?" he choked out, his eyes watering and his voice cracking. he looks at you, and he can't even bear with himself that you are here—you are finally hearing him say what he's always searched for the words to say, all this time. his lips quiver as he stutters, groaning in frustration at himself as he fumbles every time he tries to tell you the rest of it all. "...i thought that, by you... refusing my help, i... i was losing you. there, there, now you know. i was scared of losing you, like i lost everyone else that ever mattered to me. i didn't know what was wrong, i was... i was scared. but you... you can't see me scared, okay? because w-when i get scared, everything goes to shit. and i... i-i wanna relieve you, not hurt you—you were, are, and always will be... my everything." he confessed, the tears streaming down his cheeks as he breathed in laboriously and exhaled deeply, covering his eyes, remembering to himself that crying won't make you feel better—but it's not the crying you're focused on, it's what he said.

and in that heated moment, when the silver lining tearing the clouds asunder opened up in your eyes—amidst the pouring rain surrounding you two non-stop—you pull him in close... and give him your own reassurance through that kiss that was, in all ways and forms, a bad fucking idea.

you didn't want to break up, you never wanted an ex like him—you never wished he got all protective, but you both hurt each other; this'll never make it right, this kiss isn't an oath to be his or for him to be yours—it's not a declaration of your ambiguous feelings... it's what you felt you had to do, and it... it ceased the hurting for once, for a millisecond. it felt like everything was warm again, but you knew this was fleeting... you didn't know if you could take it as a long, perpetual thing. maybe someday, the answers will reveal themselves in time. but miguel's answer... was to place his palms underneath your jawline, and as the rain pattered against your faces—making it hard to tell where the rain began and where your tears ended—you two spoke a language that neither of you understood until much, much too late.

the problem is... will the message be enough to change anything?

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

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razorblade180 · 1 year

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9 Days of Lancaster Day9: Hoodie

Another day another essay complete at Beacon. After thorough research and many pencils, Blake made her way back to her room exhausted. She typically loved the library, but even she needed a break from the place now. The fact that her teammates seemed to crank out papers so easily was a real wonder. Then again, all her love of literature in the world probably didn’t makeup for years of legitimate school. Maybe she could ask Ruby or Yang a thing or two about proper formats. She had a feeling asking Weiss would lead to a lecture that Blake didn’t want to bother with.

The young huntress opened her room door and was caught off guard by a burst of petals and Ruby sitting rigidly atop her bed, clearly pretending like she wasn’t doing anything. Blake walked in and slowly closed the door. Her keen eyes noticed something had been quickly put under the leader’s pillow.

Blake:H-Hey.

Ruby:Heeeeeey, Blake. You’re back earlier than I expected.

Blake:Ruby, saying things like that only makes you look more suspicious.

Ruby:Suspicious!? Me!?

Blake:…

Ruby:….

Blake:It seems Yang and Weiss are gone.

Ruby:They roughed up Cardin’s team in sparring a little too hard. Ms. Goodwitch gave them detention.

Blake:He probably he deserved it.

Ruby:Yeah but Glynda tries not to show blatant favoritism.

Blake:So here you are, left to your own devices. I don’t mean to overstep but umm, if you need some alone time then I completely understand. I’ll just grab my book and-

Ruby:*red* No no no, that’s not what’s going on. I’m not you.

Blake:Wooooow. Low blow, but you’re right. Now you gotta tell me.

Ruby:I was just listening to music, dancing and stuff.

Blake:I see. Well if that’s all then-

The ninja chucked her pillow at Ruby’s face before quickly reaching for the girl’s. Ruby was caught so off guard she could only cover her face in embarrassment. Meanwhile, Blake started in silence at Jaune’s hoodie. Her eyes grew wide.

Blake:Are you two…?

Ruby:We’re just…talking. *looks up* JNPR is on the away mission to a village and I…I don’t know. Maybe it’s because of what happened at Mt. Glenn that I’m a little more on edge but I’m worried about them; worried for him. Jaune left that behind so I wouldn’t miss him as much.

Blake:That’s so sweet! Ruby, why hide this?

Ruby:I didn’t feel like playing 20 questions when I don’t have a clue! Feelings are weird; I’m a little weird.

Poor girl was caught in her own developing feelings. Blake handed her the hoodie and Ruby put it back on. The sleeves were longer than her arms and it stopped a little further than mid thigh. Ruby went as far as to pull up the hood as she sighed, allowing herself to sink into it. Blake could tell how calming it was for Ruby to wear it. Jaune must’ve really grown on her. More importantly, Blake could see her friend was a bundle of nerves.

Blake:I won’t tell a soul.

Ruby:Thanks. Still, it’s only a matter of time before more people find out. I really don’t feel like explaining it to Yang. She’ll try doing something like giving me “the talk”

Blake:Have you had it?

Ruby:My uncle and dad have both taught students. Combat school doesn’t begin and end guns. Your body is a temple as well as a weapon.

Blake:(Guess I really should ask about their school later.) The more you know I suppose. Anyways, maybe I can help?

Ruby:I’m listening.

Blake:Ren and I read similar books from time to time, so we tend to share and swap.

Ruby:He into Ninjas of Love?

Blake:*inhales* I read more than that y’know? Anyways, follow me.

Blake walks across the hall to JNPR’s room. With the help of her scroll, she types in a code manually before scanning the sensor. Ruby can’t believe it when the door opens. They both walk in and Blake quickly closes the door.

Ruby:How did you do that!?

Blake:Ren gave the code so I wouldn’t have to ask each time I wanted to read something. I could leave a note. He has the code for ours.

Ruby:I didn’t even know ours had a code.

Blake:Well, here you go. A place to wear a hoodie freely and text him uninterrupted. But from personal experience, try not to obsess or worry about too much. Jaune is capable and his team is great. I’m sure he’s thinking about you right now.

Ruby:*red*…Thanks Blake. This means a lot. I’m not used to talking a lot about these kinds of things.

Blake:Whenever you need to, I’m happy to listen.

The two girls hug share a hug before Blake leaves the room. As she does, she quickly snatches her copy of Ninjas of Love off of Ren’s nightstand. Blake dares not look back at her leader, but she feels the judgment. Ruby shakes her head with a smile on her face before looking around. She didn’t want to touch anything, however…

Her feet carried her to Jaune’s bed where she promptly laid down on his pillow. Tension left her and her mind felt calmer. Ruby let out a sigh of defeat. She really was falling for him, wasn’t she? Finally relaxed, her eyelids shut for awhile. She really hoped he’d be back soon.

xxxxx

Over in a village, night fell after a long day of fixing fences and slaying grimm. As Nora ate her fill and Pyrrha entertained the small children, Ren had finished cooking and went back to his shared room. Inside he found dozens or finished plans and his weapons already tended to by Jaune. Ren turned his head to see his leader already knocked out for the day, his body draped in one of Ruby’s cloaks as a cover. Ren smiled, grabbing his guns for first watch and locking the door as he left.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #blake belladonna #rwby lancaster #9daysoflancaster23

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princess-of-the-corner · 2 months

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Amnesia!Dabi

K, I don’t know if my asks are being eaten, or not, but my devices are being temperamental little shits, so I’m sending this instead, because the submissions usually work. If the asks did get through, apologies for cluttering up your in box, and you don’t have to answer this one (but if this sucker deletes itself one more time, I am chucking it out a window).

The asks seem to be disappearing but the submissions are working! Idk why! But given the length and topics I’m going to be putting this one under the read more and answering in bold!

Topics separated by *

How long was Toya a Hero before “dying”? What kind of mission was it That led to his “death”?

In CC I have it be that he was a Hero for a bit under two years. I haven’t picked an exact date, but he graduated UA having just barely turned 18, and died sometime when he was 19.

As for the ‘mission’..... I haven’t hammered out the exact nature, but he still dies in a forest fire. This time it was chasing down a villain who decided to hide in the forest. That said, the cause of the fire is still unknown. Given how AfO(or whoever he had doing this shit for him) managed to yoink Toya’s nearly-dead body before anyone else despite how many search and rescue teams were looking for survivors.... I may make it that this was intentional on the villains part, one of the associates luring him in and starting a fire to fake his death.

How exactly do the other Todoroki’s see Himiko, do you think? Like, they clearly accept her readily enough, but how quickly are they just adding her to the family tree?

I feel like Fuyumi and Himiko’s relationship would be a little awkward for a while. Like, Fuyumi feels as though Toya replaced her with Himiko, while Himiko probably ends up seeing herself as Dabi’s replacement goldfish. “Oh, he only started caring about me because I remind him of his sister. He has his sister back now. He probably doesn’t need/want me anymore.” I mean, they probably have a very heartfelt conversation about how he can love and care for both of them, but how long would that take?

I did answer the thing about the ‘feeling replaced/like a replacement’ in another ask but yeah they’d have to have a conversation about it. Tbh I think either Shoto or Enji would prompt that conversation due to the whole, ya know, Enji accidentally made Toya feel like he was replaced by Shoto(though in that case he kinda was but not exactly but still). So they kinda click on to what’s happening and remind Fuyumi that /she’s/ the one who’s always reminding them to talk about things but stubborn hypocrisy runs in the family.

I think this would lead to the more solidly ‘adding Himiko to the family’ because when they /do/ talk and Toya finds out he puts his foot down on nope, they’re both his sisters and they’re different people and that’s fine!

But also... the family is real weird in that they have a habit already of going ‘well you’re family now’. Like the Burnin thing is still happening here. And Hawks was low-key getting dragged in. They might be a little more dragged in in this au but that’s a different subject.

How exactly do you think they confirm Dabi is Toya, and not a Nomu? Once it’s confirmed, how do they even break it to anyone else?

Testing for that would happen really early on. So it.

After Dabi shows up at UA with Himiko, they interrogate him on things as one would for a villain that just turned themselves in. He confesses to the amnesia stuff(he kinda has to because he can’t answer basic questions like ‘what’s your legal name?’ and ‘how old are you?’). He offers what he does know.

And like. There are some very obvious clues. His Quirk for one. If he tells them about how ‘that peppermint kid triggered a memory’. He’d probably tell them he dyed his hair but it’s actually white(though it might also be a bit red at this point given he hasn’t been overusing his Quirk). He’s pretty sure he had siblings because of the memory triggers from Himiko.

They start putting it together but do dna and fingerprint tests to be sure before they tell anyone. And the results of the DNA testing do indicate 100% match to Toya.

Now re: Nomu specifically.... they haven’t encountered a Nomu that’s any kind of coherent. All of them are very kinda fucked up. (Side note for both this and CC: though both Dabi and Kurogiri were experimented on, it was different than the Frankenstein nonsense the other Nomu are so they’re still themselves.)

Breaking it to anyone else is hard but they break it to Enji first because ya boy has the security clearance to Deal With This™. But it pretty much boils down to just telling him the facts of “Hey, a villain just turned himself in. Says he has amnesia but the shit he does remember, along with physical features and his Quirk and along with the dna testing we did say that it’s your fuckin kid”.

Which. Enji takes about as well as one can in that situation. A bit skeptical at first because he has to be, so he does make sure there’s no chance they’re wrong but GOD his kid is alive even if he doesn’t remember jack shit.

They let Enji do the bit re: telling the rest of the family and reassuring them that ‘yes, this is real holy FUCK’.

since this is “Enji actually woke up earlier, he’s working on shit” would Rei be in better shape? Maybe not out of the hospital, but visiting more and such?

yes and no? Hm. It.

So things up to and immediately after Toya’s death are pretty much the same as CC and that.... I haven’t gone into it much because I plan to do so in Road to Hell. But obvs Rei’s mental health was on a downward spiral and she goes in the hospital. She does start to get better but.....

The news of Toya’s death causes a drastic relapse. Like she was getting better but was still quite fragile and the death of her son really just hit her hard.

Rei has to come back to that and while I do think it’s a little easier with knowing that Enji is also working on his hot mess of things and that the remaining kids are doing better too, I don’t think it’s enough to speed up her recovery that much.

So she’s likely still in the hospital, but similar to canon/cc she’s on the verge of being cleared for release.

(Now for a bit more comedy)

When Dabi “escapes” the clinic, I think I originally said something like, it takes them a full fifteen hours to notice he’s just gone. How do They realize? What do they do? Why does it take another week to locate him? How absurd can we make this? (Seriously, I like to imagine Dabi’s “escape” as just a comedy of errors, like, Fate decided “oh, you know what’ll be HILARIOUS?”)

I mean I’d assume whatever staff are there go to check on him again. Either in general ‘check his vitals’ or because the one tried to sedate him and didn’t realize it failed so they’re here to sedate him again but whoops he’s gone???

There’s the panic of them trying to find him and all but they honestly just fucking can’t. Surely he didn’t just walk out the door, right? Okay okay okay the door guard was asleep but surely he can’t have wandered /that/ far? Nope he’s just. He’s just gone lmao. They’re all getting fired.

Again, I’m sorry if you did get these asks, but my computer is being glitchy, and it is slowly driving me insane. Also sorry for sending all these at once, you dont have to answer them all! Answer them (or don’t) in your own time, I’m sure you’re busy! Hope you’re having a good day!

(and now, if I hit the “submit” button while chanting a Lord’s Prayer, along with a blood sacrifice, and a can of peach juice, then hopefully it will-

#submission #amnesia!dabi

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fanficshiddles · 1 year

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Finally His, One Shot

Thanks for the prompt! Hope you like it. marveloushiddleston submitted: I would like to request an OS where Loki is king of Asgard, after an intriege of Loki, and Thor's daughter is his prisoner and he forces and takes her because he wanted to do that for so long. (Dirty/Dark Step Unlce!Loki)

WARNINGS: Rape/non-con, Dark Loki.

Brigid paced back and fore in her cell, she was furious that she had been chucked in there. She wasn’t sure how long had passed, but a few guards eventually came along and opened her cell.

‘The King requires your presence.’ One of them announced.

‘The King? My dad?’ She asked, confused.

The two guards didn’t answer her, they just grabbed her and put cuffs on her, then held onto her arms tightly and began marching her out of the prison.

‘STOP THIS! DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?’ She screamed at them as she tried getting them off her, but they still said nothing as they dragged her to the throne room where Loki was sat on the throne, legs splayed like he owned the place.

Which he did. No one knows exactly what he did to Thor, but they were under the God of Mischief’s rule now.

When he saw Brigid being dragged in, a wicked grin spread across his face. The guards took her to the bottom of the steps where he sat, and they pushed her down to her knees. She looked up at Loki, shocked to see him on the throne.

‘Uncle Loki, what’s going on? Where’s dad? Is he ok?’ She attempted to get up but one of the guards pushed her back down. ‘What the hell?’ She hissed.

‘Leave us.’ Loki flicked his hand at the guards and they bowed their head before leaving the throne room. Leaving Loki and Brigid alone, so she scrambled up to her feet again. Though her hands were still bound on front of her.

‘My dear little niece.’ Loki chuckled and stood up with gungnir in hand. ‘There is no need to fret about your father, you don’t need him anymore. You are a young adult now, after all.’ He started making his way down the steps towards her.

‘Was it you that attacked Asgard? Why are you on the throne? Why was I thrown in a cell?’ She was so confused and didn’t know whether to be scared or not, of her own uncle…

When the attack on Asgard happened, Thor had sent her to safety within the palace. But she had been found by some soldiers and thrown straight into prison, she had no idea why or what had gone on. Or who had been behind the attack… Until now.

‘So many questions, so little time.’ Loki walked over to her and began circling her, making her feel really uneasy.

‘Loki… Please, what’s going on?’ Brigid turned and tried to keep up with Loki, she didn’t like it when she couldn’t see him.

‘You are to refer to me as King, little niece. Since I am your King now.’ Loki said darkly as he stood tall on front of her and put gungnir down with a slam.

Brigid’s eyes widened and she swallowed hard. She had always known that Loki was a little… darker, than her dad. That there was always a need for power and acceptance within him. She’d always been a little wary, even if he did pull pranks that often made her laugh. She was always cautious around her uncle.

‘King Loki… Please, what’s going on? Can you take these off?’ She held her hands up towards him, the chain was really digging into her wrists.

Loki took a step closer, which drastically closed the distance between them. She had to crane her neck to look up at him. He used gungnir and pressed the point under her chin, she could feel it digging into her skin and she didn’t dare move.

‘Not just now. If you’re a good girl, then I may remove them for your comfort.’ He hummed and glanced down at her body, making her super uncomfortable.

‘What… what do you want with me?’ She whispered. She was pretty sure she didn’t want to know what the answer to that was going to be.

Loki grinned wickedly and his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. ‘Oh my dear, you have no idea what I am going to do to you. You’ve grown into such a beautiful lady, I’ve wanted you for so long now.’

In the blink of an eye, Loki teleported himself and Brigid to his chambers. They were lavished in green and gold, fit for only a King of course. Brigid cried out and stumbled backwards.

Loki stalked towards her as his armour dissolved from his body, leaving him only in his leather trousers and boots. Her eyes widened and she kept moving backwards until she hit the wall, leaving her with nowhere to go.

‘Loki… King Loki.’ She quickly corrected herself. ‘You’re my uncle. Please, don’t do this!’

He chuckled again in response to her as he put his hands against the wall at either side of her head, trapping her. She could feel his warm breath against her face as he leaned down.

‘I am King, I can do whatever and whoever I want.’ He whispered harshly before crashing his lips against hers.

She tried hitting him with her fists, but couldn’t get good momentum because they were still bound. And Loki barely felt it at all. He chuckled as he thrust his tongue into her mouth, moving against her tongue. But she bit down quite hard on him, which he did indeed feel as he pulled back with a hiss.

‘Oooo, so that’s how you want to play, is it?’ He growled, his eyes darkening.

She let out a cry as he grabbed her by the hair and hauled her over to his bed. He forced her down on her front, she fell face first down with her ass raised up. Loki used the advantage of the position to smack her ass hard a few times, using his seidr he removed her clothes in an instant too.

‘STOP! PLEASE!’ She screamed as he brought his hand down multiple times against her, showing no mercy. Tears rolled down her cheeks at the pain, he had a mean swing. Her ass felt like it was on fire.

‘You are the one who decided to play dirty, I was going to be gentle with you. But if you want it rough, then you’ll get it rough.’ He kept her pinned down with a hand at the back of her neck, then pushed her legs apart as he positioned himself behind her.

Brigid was horrified to realise that he was now completely naked, she could feel his cock against her ass, his pre cum staining her skin. She couldn’t believe he was doing this to her.

‘Hmm, tiny bit wet. Anyone would think you want this as much as I do.’ He laughed as he gripped his cock and dragged the tip up and down through her folds. ‘Was it the spanking, hmm? Or is it the thrill of trying to stop me? But knowing I can’t be stopped, that you are a weak little lamb in comparison. That will be able to do nothing but take it.’

He squeezed her neck for good measure and forced himself into her tightness. He didn’t care about her whimpers of pain, it only aroused him further. He could feel her body clenching hard around him as he made her body mould to his cock.

It didn’t take too long before her body started betraying her, getting wetter and wetter with each thrust from Loki. Soon the pain eased away and she only felt pleasure. But she wasn’t sure what was worse.

Loki was close to cumming as he fucked her fast and hard, making her gasp and pant like mad. The sounds he was making was feral, grunting and growling, he couldn’t get enough of her. But he still wanted more.

Releasing her neck, he slid a hand underneath her around her middle, holding her tightly against him and allowing him to get just that bit deeper. And with his free hand, he slid that underneath her and down between her legs.

‘You will cum all over your King’s cock.’ Loki growled against her ear.

‘No! Please, no!’ Brigid cried out, knowing if he did what he was about to do, it would be the end of her.

‘You will never tell me no.’ Loki barked at her, then started stroking her clit, forcing her to cum on his cock.

He laughed between moans as he felt her cumming around him, that was all he needed too as he came inside of her. Finally, she belonged to him.

#Loki #Tom Hiddleston #one shot #finally his #prompt #dark Loki #Loki fic

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lovewithoregrets · 8 months

Text

Falling Chapter 4: More Business

The bumpy carriage ride was putting Levi in a bad mood. Not only did he have to be inside all day on a lovely summer’s day, but he also had to be cooped up with a bunch or self-important assholes all day. Levi yawned and tried to get comfortable. At least Erwin was there in this hell with him. Though he seemed to be wholly unbothered by their current situation.

“I get your friends and all, but why did you have to bring him along?” Commander Shadis indicated Levi to Erwin.

“Hey,” Levi Interjected. “I’m not exactly thrilled about this either, Commander.”

“I want the council members to see him. He is one of our best, after all.” Erwin gave Levi a jovial grin.

“Hmph!” grunted Shadis. “Are you trying to scare them into approving our expeditions?”

“No, but I wouldn’t mind if he unnerved one or two of them.” Erwin replied casually.

“Well, his is pretty unnerving.” Shadis chucked to himself. “Not sure what you’re playing at here, but you seem to know what you’re doing. Especially after last time.”

“These men,” Erwin began, "keep trying to screw humanity out of the truth. They need to remember who is keeping them safe.”

“Fine.” Shadis shrugged. "But if this blows up on you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Have I been wrong yet, Commander?” Erwin questioned.

“No, damn you. You’re somehow always one step ahead of all of us.”

As they were talking, Erwin felt Levi slump against him. He looked down to find his friend fast asleep.

“Wait is he really...?” Shadis asked in disbelief.

“Yes, Sir. Rumor has it, Levi only sleeps a few hours every night.”

“Well, I’ll be damned.” said Shadis. “I hate to imagine what he could accomplish on a full nights’ rest.”

“We might be done with our fight against the Titans.” Erwin mused.

Levi awoke to Erwin shaking him gently out of his slumber.

“We’re here.” he said simply as he exited the carriage. It was only then that Levi realized in horror that he had fallen asleep against Erwin.

“Hey was I …?” Levi pointed back at the carriage as they walked inside.

“Sleeping on me?” Erwin finished for him. “Yes, you were.”

“Sorry about that.” Levi searched Erwin’s face.

“I barely noticed.” Erwin tried to sound casual. “In fact, feel free to use me as a pillow anytime”

“Tsk, pervert.” Levi smiled despite himself.

The day went by just about as slowly and painfully as Levi had thought they would. He tuned out most of it. It was petty drivel from self-important idiots. He shook hands and kept a civil tongue un his head with the people he was introduced to, but that was the extent of what he could handle. He sat with Erwin while the commander in Chief made his case for another recon mission. Levi looked around the room and wondered how many of these guys knew what their colleague had tried to do. I bet at least one of these bastards knows something, He mused. Erwin suspects so anyway and wants to remind them that he’s smarter than them. Of course, maybe he just wanted an excuse for us to be together? Tsk yeah right.

Levi did notice that a couple of the members seemed more on edge than others when meeting him and kept looking over at him and Erwin. He made a mental note of it and mentioned it to Erwin after the meeting. Erwin nodded in response and made a point to speak to them before they departed-Levi in tow. Levi had to admit that he enjoyed watching the bastards squirm.

The whole ordeal seemed to drag on for way too long in Levi’s mind. But in the end, they got what they came for. With both approval and funding secured, the three prepared to head back to Trost. Levi was looking forward to a quiet evening with a good book. However, before they could reach the carriage that would take them home, Erwin paused.

“Apologies Sir, but I just remembered I had more business to attend to.” Erwin told the commander. Shadis looked surprised but said nothing. The two watched the commander drive off before Erwin beckoned Levi.

“Really? More business?” Levi whined.

“Come on, Levi. I think you’re going to enjoy this bit of business.” There was a mischievous twinkle in Erwin’s eyes. He reached out and grabbed Levi’s wrist and led him through crowded streets and down dark alleyways. Along the way he stopped to buy some food but instead of eating it then, he kept pushing through the hubbub towards his destination.

“Where the hell are you taking me?” Levi was starting to feel a little concerned.

“We’re almost there!”

They were steadily making their way uphill, backtracking to where they came from.

“Why are we going back? Haven’t you tortured me enough for one day?” Levi groaned.

“Have a little faith. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Then where the hell are we going?” Levi demanded once more.

“This way!” Erwin guided him towards the entrance to a tower of some building Levi did not recognize. They immediately began climbing up the steps, gradually winding their way closer and closer to the top.

“This had better be worth it.” Levi warned his friend.

“Trust me, it will be.” Erwin came to a door at what appeared to be the top of the stairs. “Are you ready?”

“Just open the damn door already, asshole.”

“Is that any way to talk to your commanding officer?” Erwin chided with a chuckle. Levi just glared at him in response. “Fine, fine, you win.” Erwin relented good naturedly and opened the door.

The first thing Levi noticed was how much fresher the air felt up here. The noise of the city below seemed to almost disappear, and a gust of wind hit Levi in the face. Then he saw the view in front of him. On this beautiful summer day, he could see for miles past wall Sina. Nothing but green grass, distant forests, and rolling hills as far as the eye could see and, in the distance, Wall Rose.

“Well?” Erwin demanded.

“Alright, you win. This isn’t half bad.” Levi admitted.

“Not half bad? That good huh?” Erwin teased.

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

They two men stared out in silence for a moment.

“So how did you find this place anyway?” Levi asked.

“I used to come up here with my father.” This was the first time Erwin had spoken of his family or his childhood. Levi had never pushed because of his own traumatic past.

“You grew up here?” Levi sounded surprised.

“I did.” Erwin didn’t seem to want to elaborate. There was a sadness in his voice that warned Levi to back off.

“Is the ‘urgent business’ you told Shadis about?” Levi tried to change the subject. Erwin smiled gratefully at him.

“It is pretty important, don’t you agree?”

“Oh very.” Levi retorted. “You know what’s also important?”

“What’s that?”

“The food we haven’t eaten. I’m starving.”

The two ate their slap-dash meal as the sun sank lower on the horizon. They chatted about the events of the day and made fun of the various council members. They joked about their team members and mused on the upcoming expedition.

“What did you say to those idiots anyway? The ones you spoke to privately that is.” Levi inquired.

“Not much. I asked them how their buddy was doing-the one that hired you.” Levi nodded. “And I may have mentioned that you are our strongest soldier now. Just to remind them how badly their friend failed.” Erwin winked at Levi.

Levi chuckled. “I wish I could have seen their faces.”

“It was pretty priceless.” Erwin admitted, laughing as well. “It was very satisfying, I must admit.”

“I bet” Levi shook his head. After a moment he turned towards Erwin. “Do you really think I am your strongest soldier or were you just trying to scare those bastards?”

“Both.” Erwin replied simply. He could see Levi processing the compliment. A flush appeared on Levi’s cheek before he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, finally some recognition around here.” He tried to deflect.

The world seemed a million miles away up here. This felt like their own little bubble where nothing bad could happen. The worries and stress of the day seemed to melt away as the fresh air and cool evening breeze filled their senses. If only they could stay like this forever. The sun began to sink low in the sky.

“We should be heading back.” Levi commented.

“You’re right. It is getting late, and Shadis will be fuming if we’re not back before daybreak.” Erwin said with a rueful sigh.

“I’m making us tea when we get back.” Levi stated as they made their way down the stairs towards the busy street below.

“We better hope that the Titans never disrupt our tea supply.” Erwin chuckled.

“If that happens, they will all die slowly and painfully” Levi growled darkly.

“Woe to the Titan that comes between Levi and his tea” Erwin let out a hearty laugh. The image of Levi going on a murderous rampage over tea flashed through Erwin’s head.

Levi shoved Erwin playfully. “It’s not a joking matter” he replied indignantly.

“Mm not at all.” Erwin continued to laugh.

“You’re such an asshole.” Levi smiled despite himself.

“I’ve been called worse.” Erwin replied with a shrug and wink. Their eyes met and for a moment, there was complete silence between them. Levi was sure Erwin could hear his heart pounding a tattoo against his chest. He tried to steady his breathing. Erwin felt flushed and short of breath. Their eyes met and a flash of desire read on their faces. In that moment, both fought against the urge to fall into each other's arms and never let go. They both unconsciously clenched their fists, trying to will themselves to stop. The slightest movement from one of them and it would be all over. They both knew it.

“If we hurry, we can get back before it’s too late.” Erwin steeled himself with a deep breath. It was almost painful having to fight against himself like this.

“Yeah, we should probably hurry.” Levi hoped that his voice sounded even.

They made their way through the city in silence. The spell of the evening was broken and all that was left was their aching hearts, longing for something they knew they shouldn’t. This could only end in heartache and loss and they both knew it. Still, in that moment, they had seen the longing in each other’s eyes and they both knew that they couldn’t hold on before something had to change. They couldn't ignore their feelings much longer.

Erwin lay restless in bed that night. He couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard he tried. Images of the day flashed through his head of Levi. That smile that only came out around Erwin made his heart leap in his chest. Erwin tossed and turned as if trying to run away from his own mind. This was torture. Before Levi, he had been content to be alone. There was a certain comfort in his solitude. It allowed him to focus on his dream of finding the truth. His head had not so much as turned for another person since Marie, and Erwin was happy for that to be his one great love. He never regretted his decision and knowing that Nile was able to care for Marie gave Erwin joy. He knew he could never have given her what Nile could. Erwin was content to sacrifice his happiness for hers.

But Levi was different. He knew now that he could never give Levi up. He couldn’t be selfless when it came to this beautiful, amazing man. Their bond exceeded all explanation in Erwin’s mind. It wasn’t logical. But it was the realest feeling that he had felt about another person. At least in a romantic way. It reminded Erwin of his first time outside of the walls. H had felt like he hadn’t known what real freedom felt like until then. His feelings for Marie felt like a schoolboy crush in comparison to what he experienced with Levi.

Fuck this. Erwin got out of bed and threw on his trousers. He made his way up to the rooftop where he and Levi had first begun to become friends. He had some vague idea that Levi would be there, and he would profess his feelings there and then. But when he arrived, it was completely deserted. Of course, he’s probably asleep. I am the fool who lets this keep me up at night. Erwin chided himself. He sat alone for some time before collecting himself and walking back to his chambers. Sleep eluded him with every passing hour until he finally passed out from pure exhaustion. Even in sleep, his dreams were restless, and Levi was always just out of reach.

Levi was used to not sleeping. After all, he could never get more than a few hours’ of sleep at a time. But falling asleep had never been a problem before now. In the last couple months, Levi had struggled far more to go to sleep-especially after having spent the evening with Erwin. His mind fixated on every part of their interactions that day as he lay sleepless in the dark, surrounded by his sleeping comrades. Lucky bastards, Levi huffed and turned over. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw brilliant blue ones staring back at him. He heard Erwin’s light chuckle. He heard how Erwin said his name and it sent an electric shock through his body.

Did he really look at me like that? That split second replayed in his mind. Was that the same want that I feel? It couldn’t be. It never was. Levi had never been in love, not really. He never let anyone get that close. There was one boy he grew up with that he had feelings for. Call it a crush, or love, it didn’t matter. In the end, the boy was found dead, and Levi was left alone. He kept everyone at arms’ length. Maybe not Furlan and Isabel but they were the exceptions. Isabel was like a little sister to him, and Furlan was a true friend. ERwin reminded him of Furlan sometimes, the way he planned and strategized. On the nights when the darkness and loneliness threatened to consume him, he would seek out the company of strangers so he could feel some small, passing relief from the ghosts that haunted him. But those encounters often left him worse off than before. Men full of shame can be cruel and he felt used up and alone afterwards. He would tell himself he wanted it that way, but the truth was that he never believed he deserved any better.

This was new. What he felt with Erwin was more wholesome and purer. It felt like the first time he’d left the underground and felt the kiss of sunlight on his skin. It was wonderous and terrifying all at once. Erwin had always unsettled Levi. At first it fueled the fires of hatred in his determination to kill the man. Now it felt comforting. It meant that he was accepted and seen. Erwin was the first person to make him feel good enough because Erwin saw Levi for exactly who he was and believed in him. It was a beautiful and overwhelming feeling that Levi had longed for, deep in his heart, but had given up on ever experiencing. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would do anything for that man. He would fight whatever enemy stood in his way for him, he would lay down his own life for him. No matter what, he knew he could trust Erwin and that trust gave him the fire in his belly to do whatever Erwin asked of him. He could put Erwin’s happiness above his own without fear that he would be taken advantage of. Erwin made him feel worthy.

I can’t take this anymore. Levi got up, grabbed his jacket, and hurried off to Erwin’s room. He didn’t know why he was going there or what he would do when he got there. He just knew that he had to go. He practically ran along the well-trodden path between his barracks and Erwin’s chambers. He had to be with Erwin. It was as if some invisible force was drawing him towards the desire of his heart. He stood in front of Erwin’s door, took a deep breath and knocked.

There was no response.

He knocked again.

Nothing.

That idiot isn’t still in his office, is he? Levi rushed through the corridors towards the only other place he could think of to look for Erwin. He knocked on the door, but all was silent. There was no light emitting from the cracks of the door frame. Where the fuck are you, you dumbass. Levi was starting to feel frantic. As he walked back towards Erwin’s room, he tried to calm himself down. He’s probably just out cold and can’t hear me. Levi told himself. I should just let him sleep. There’s no reason we both should lose sleep tonight. He took a deep breath. This was a dumb idea anyway. What was I going to do, throw myself in his arms and confess my undying love? How pathetic is that! He paused outside Erwin’s bedroom door. If he had only known what was happening on the other side, he might have tried again.

Instead, Levi lay in his bunk and watched the moon set and the sun rise, all the while berating himself for his utter stupidity.

#aot eruri #attack on titan #eruri #eruri fanfic #erwin smith #erwin x levi #levi ackerman #romance #snk #snk eruri #headcanon

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fandom-imagines-stories · 2 years

Text

Screw Scary Movies

Dwight ‘Dewey’ Riley x Reader

Words: 2234

Summary: The reader and her best friend make the mistake of going to a Halloween party with her ex-boyfriend. Given her friend’s traumatic experience a year ago, things get out of hand rather quickly.

Notes: This is just something kinda fluffy and silly (with a little angst, I mean it’s me we’re talking about) for one of my favorite horror characters. For some reason, the Scream movies have become oddly comforting for me. Probably because of Dewey.

More 90s/80s Imagines HERE

The party was supposed to be fun. You should have known better.

Chuck had a tendency of being a douche, especially when it involved beer and Halloween costumes. Even more so when it involved Dewey.

Still, you only had yourself to blame. You’re the one that invited Dewey to a Halloween party a year after… well everything.

“Deputy Dork!” Chuck exclaimed through his creepy Hannibal Lecter mask. He roughly smacked him on the back as if he was still on the football team. Dewey laughed through his wince, but you could tell how much that hurt.

“Chuck,” You hissed.

“Oh right,” Chuck laughed, “my bad, man. I forgot.”

He definitely had not forgotten.

You rolled your eyes. “Why don’t you go get me a drink?” You gave him a deadly glare before he could protest and he shuffled off into the crowd. You turned to Dewey, putting a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” He gave you a small smile. “It’s just a little sore sometimes.”

“He’s such a jerk.” Taking his hand, you lead him across the room, shoving your way through the sea of sexy nurses and half naked firefighters. Nobody really had the decency to move for the guy with the limp. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought you were at a party full of high schoolers. Then again, Chuck never really did grow up, so why should any of his friends? “I really didn’t think there would be this many people.”

“That’s okay. It gives me a chance to get out of the station, you know?” He laughed nervously. You found a spot on the couch that wasn’t too crowded and motioned for him to sit.

“Can I get you anything? Beer, soda, water?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

An awkward silence fell between the two of you. God, this was such a bad idea. Why did I think he’d want to come to a Halloween party? We aren’t 16 anymore.

“So, you and Chuck…” Dewey started, but his voice trailed off like he was still thinking of a way to word the question.

“He thinks he has a shot of getting me back, but I’m really just here because we work together.” You sighed with a shrug.

“You guys broke up?” His eyes widened.

You snorted. “Are you surprised?” Dewey just blinked back at you. “Come on, Dewey, do you really think I could’ve stayed with a guy like that? I’m surprised we were together for as long as we were.”

“I was surprised you were together at all.” He muttered, his smile turning sheepish.

You looked down at your lap and started to regret your costume choice. A generic witch outfit you’d picked up at the store. You only really grabbed it so you would blend in with everyone else.

You thought about the costumes you used to wear as kids. One Halloween, you and Dewey went as Princess Leia and Han Solo from Star Wars. Even his little sister made fun of the two of you, but neither of you cared.

Oh god. Tatum. Thinking of her was like a punch to the gut. You couldn’t imagine how he felt.

And I’m the genius that brought him to an event just like the one she was brutally murdered at.

“Maybe we should just get out of here.” You said, standing up. A guy in a football uniform drunkenly stumbled into you and you lost your footing, falling right back onto the couch and into Dewey’s lap. He stared at you for a second with an expression of mild panic.

“Um, yeah, sure. Sounds good.” He squeaked. He helped you get back on your feet and you helped him off the couch. A scream made both of you jump.

“Somebody help! I think he’s dead!”

Your stomach dropped and your limbs went rigid with panic, but it was nothing compared to the terror on Dewey’s face. You could see everything come rushing back in his eyes. He swallowed hard and tried his best to hide the fear in his expression.

He rushed towards the commotion in the kitchen. You followed, but got stuck behind a pair of ‘naught nurses.’

Sure enough, laying on the kitchen floor was one of Chuck’s buddies with a pool of blood beneath him.

“Oh my god,” you gasped. This couldn’t be happening. Those kids from last year were dead. It couldn’t be happening again… could it?

“Everybody get back!” Dewey called out. There was a shaking in his voice.

You finally got through the crowd of partygoers, but stayed back like he said.

“Is he…?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

Not that you had the chance. As Dewey stood up, the cabinet door creaked open and a cloaked figure stepped out.

No.

The look of horror on your face made Dewey freeze. Slowly, he turned around and-

“Who’s ready to finish the job, deputy?”

Dewey’s gut wrenching scream almost hid the lack of a voice changer.

“Chuck?”

The whole room erupted in laughter. Everybody except the man in front of you. He was still locked in place, face contorted with fear and arms spread out to protect you.

Chuck took off the mask. “Oh come on. Lighten up, Y/N. We’re just having a little fun, right Deputy Dork?”

You didn’t give Dewey a chance to respond. You shoved the people surrounding you out of the way and lunged. You got a few good hits in too, before Dewey pulled you off of Chuck.

“What the fuck?” Chuck wailed, nursing the bleeding scratch you’d left on his cheek.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You screamed. Dewey was pulling you away, but you kept reaching for the bastard. “You think this is some kind of joke? Do you have any idea how sick this is?”

“Relax, baby, it’s not like you were there.”

“You think this is about me?”

The anger growing in his eyes made everything clear.

You scoffed. “Did you seriously think this party would make me want you back? That this-” you held up the mask you’d ripped out of his hands, “would make me ever want to be with you again?”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you can’t take a joke on behalf of your new boyfriend,” Chuck seethed. “I mean, come on, Y/N, the guy came toe-to-toe with a couple of highschoolers and lost.”

You jumped at him again, but Dewey held you back.

“Y/N, just stop,” Dewey pleaded, turning you around to face him. “I don’t need you to fight for me.”

While the trembling in his voice made you want to tear Chuck to pieces, the look in his eyes begged you not to.

You took a deep breath and took his hand. “Let’s just get out of here.”

Dewey nodded and mustered a small smile as if to tell you he was okay. The crowd parted around you, probably because you looked like you were ready to kill someone. You just reached the closest exit when you heard Chuck yelling.

“At least I would have stopped it!”

Now, Dewey was the one who stopped.

Chuck emerged from the sea of costumes with a stupid, angry look on his face.

“I would have figured out Stu was a freak before he even had the chance to pick up that knife. But you didn’t, did you Dewey?” He smirked. “Everybody’s talking about how Sydney fucked Loomis, but we all seem to forget about Stu’s girlfriend.”

“Chuck, don’t,” you spat. Dewey kept his grip on your hand so you couldn’t go around him.

“But then again, it’s kinda hard to keep track of all of Tatum’s flings, isn’t it, Dewey? Who could blame you for not realizing that your sister had her tongue down a killer’s throat?”

Dewey’s shoulders tensed. He spoke through his teeth.

“Come on, let’s go.” He turned back to you and you started to open the door to the garage.

“I wouldn’t go out that way, Y/N,” Chuck sneered. “I hear garage doors can be pretty dangerous when you’re a loser-fucking-whore.”

You watched Dewey’s face change from anguish to rage. Before you realized what was happening, his fist was colliding with Chuck’s nose. Chuck collapsed back into his now not-dead buddy.

You both just stood there in shock- especially Dewey. He kept looking down at his fist like he didn’t know what just happened.

“You little shit!” Chuck screamed. “I’m gonna kill you!”

“Come on.” You took hold of Dewey’s arm and pulled him through the door.

He winced and another bought of apologies fell from your lips. You tried to press the ice gently on his knuckles.

“It’s okay,” he said, smiling sheepishly. “I mean, leave it to me to mess up my good hand, right?” He laughed. God, even now, he was trying to make you feel better.

“That was quite the punch,” you said. You remembered the shock and fury on Chuck’s face with a fondness you wouldn’t soon forget.

“I could say the same for you.” He took the ice and held it to his hand, finally adjusting to the soreness. “I’ve never seen you so angry.”

You scowled. Your fingers picked at the splintering wood of your porch steps as you tried not to look at his sweet expression and puppy-dog eyes. “What kind of sicko does something like that? After everything that happened to you and to…” You shook your head. “Hell, if you hadn’t been there I could have killed that fucker.”

“Hey, I meant what I said back there,” he started with a sigh. “I don’t want you getting stuck in the middle of things. We aren’t fighting off lunch money thieves or schoolyard bullies anymore. I’m a man now. I can handle myself.” His tone held a determination that you couldn't help but admire. All he wanted was to be taken seriously. “Besides, I don’t want you getting into trouble for my sake.”

You stood up, running your fingers through your hair in frustration. “Stop being so nice to me, Dewey. This is all my fault. I knew that party was a bad idea, I knew Chuck would be an asshole, and I should have known he would do something like this. But bringing up Tatum is a new low.”

Dewey flinched. He didn’t talk about Tatum. Ever. Even with you. Just saying her name felt wrong on your tongue.

You covered your mouth with your hand to muffle the cry escaping your throat. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t stop the tears from choking you.

“I-I’m so sor-sorry Dewey,” you could barely get the words out.

“Oh, Y/N, no, no, no, please.” He got to his feet as quickly as he could and moved so he was directly in front of you. “Please don’t cry. I’m okay, really. I promise. Chuck may be a jerk, but I had fun with you.”

“Right, sure, right up until they turned the worst thing to ever happen to you into one big joke,” you sniffed.��

“I don’t care about that. I just want to be with you.”

You wiped your eyes. “W-what?”

His hand reached for your cheek and wiped away a stray tear. He was shaking, he was so nervous.

“I just always want to be by your side. Ever since we were kids, I couldn’t imagine myself going through life with anyone else. And after everything that’s happened, everything that’s changed… I think I know that more now than ever.”

“Dwight, I-” you didn’t know what to say. Dewey had been your best friend since you were kids. You’d bottled up so many feelings throughout the years for the sake of that friendship, finding out he shared those feelings was almost too much for you to handle.

So you didn’t say anything. You just put your arms around him and pulled him in for a kiss. At first he just seemed shocked, but after a moment he kissed you back.

Holy shit, when did Dewey become a good kisser?

You stayed like that for so long you almost forgot that the two of you needed to breathe at some point. When you finally pulled apart, you had the biggest grin on your face and he still looked like he was trying to process what happened.

“Hey Y/N,” he started, out of breath.

“Yeah?”

“You want to go catch a movie or something?”

You nodded, still grinning, and held out your hand. “As long as it isn’t scary.”

He smiled and brought your hand up to his lips before lacing his fingers with yours. You started down the path, but Dewey stopped suddenly. His expression turned into something you couldn’t quite place. An odd mix of grief and acceptance and content.

“What is it?”

He cleared his throat. “I was just thinking…” His eyes lifted to the sky, as if looking for something among the stars. “I was thinking about what Tatum would say if she saw us. You know, together.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. “What’s that?”

Dewey looked back down at you and smiled. “Finally.”

You brought him in for another kiss, all of those years of keeping it a secret finally resolved. With your head on his shoulder and his hand holding yours, you continued the walk to the theater to watch anything but a horror movie.

#dewey riley x reader #dewey riley #scream #scream franchise #1996 #dwight riley #david arquette 1996 #horror movies #what's your favorite scary movie

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