#and esme never gets the proper time to shine!!

[aintmyjewelry]

should i do another twilight re-read

#i just did one and it spanned like from end of October to mid-december lmao #but like im kind of missing my family rn ya know #i miss my cullens #gosh i remember when i was so deep into my re-read #i was reading so much esme x carlisle fanfiction #i just found them to be the most interesting #and esme never gets the proper time to shine!! #if i do do this again i will be listening to the audiobooks lmao #i am not picking up the books

[penwieldingdreamer]

Dante's Prayer - A Peaky Blinders Story

It's been a while since I wrote anything regarding the fandoms I used to be active, but thanks to @fortheloveoffanfic I found another one that picked my interest. This is the first part of my Peaky Blinders story, let me know what you think. Like, reblog, comment if you want and let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

Summary:

When the dark wood fell before me And all the paths were overgrown, When the priests of pride say there is no other way I tilled the sorrows of stone.

I did not believe because I could not see Though you came to me in the night, When the dawn seemed forever lost You showed me your love in the light of the stars

- Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt -

Warnings: Mentions of war, mentions of sex, period-typical sexism, canon-typical violence

Words: 1410

Prologue

Outside of Birmingham, 1923

Breathless pants were the only sounds echoing in the silence of the small cottage.

"I missed ya so fookin' much." he mumbled against her back as they tried to catch their breaths and Arthur pulled the sheets over their naked bodies.

Niamh smiled at the sensation of his beard lightly scratching her skin, committing it to memory before he'd leave her again. "It's not my fault, you've been avoiding me."

"I know, I'm sorry." he sighed, running his fingers along the skin of her shoulder and neck. "I'm going to marry Linda."

Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, the redhead blinked away the tears that were gathering in her eyes, thankful for facing away from the eldest Shelby brother. "I believe this means goodbye then?"

"It doesn't have to be goodbye." Arthur breathed, his lips languidly moving along her spine. "We ain't serious."

Turning her head towards him, Niamh shook her head. "We can't continue this, it was good while it lasted."

"Why not?" he asked, leaning onto his elbow to watch her closely. He had known her since before the war, occasionally having had a tryst under the bridge by the Cut and when he had been drafted he spent three days until his leaving with her, promising to return as the same man that he left but he couldn't keep that promise, just like he never could promise her his heart.

"I'm scared, Arthur." she finally said after a while, her voice vibrating in the quiet air.

Brushing his hair out of his face, he moved his hand closer to her face, his roughened fingers stroking along the column of her throat. "What are you scared of?"

Biting her lip, Niamh put her smaller hand on his own. "Of falling for you, like I'm trying to avoid ever since you have gotten back. You're marrying her and if we continue, you'll only break my heart." Her eyes turned red from the unshed tears she kept at bay the entire time.

"I never promised ye love." Arthur replied gruffly, sitting up on the bed. "I best be going, or else you'd be throwing your heart at me feet."

Pulling the sheets up to her neck, Niamh wordlessly watched him get dressed, feeling the sting of heartbreak in her chest when there had been no love on both ends. Once he had haphazardly thrown on his pants and dress shirt, leaving the vest and suspenders off, Arthur turned one last time, burning the image of his favorite redhead into his mind's eye. Never would he forget the faces she made when he had given her the ecstasy she longed for, knowing he'd not be able to see the same expressions with his soon-to-be-wife.

One last time she watched him nod in goodbye, knowing his head couldn't be turned. The eldest Shelby would have only committed, if - and that was a very big IF - she had been with his child, but Niamh knew how to avoid it as well as he did. Nights in the war could be very cold and lonely so the army had handed out precautions for the soldiers to enjoy their time between the fights. Arthur had told her often enough how his dreams of family and romance had been snuffed out by the brutality of the war, that he would avoid the subject as best as he could, yet here he left her stranded in her cottage by the lake they used to swim in as teenagers, to have a wife and family, probably children along the way.

Arthur climbed inside Tommy's car, taking a deep breath before he screamed out the despair and grief that had been eating away at him ever since he returned from France. Niamh had been a distraction and Linda had given him the hope to get his dreams back, so why did he feel the same sense of loss he had felt when their father had betrayed him and left them again? The noose around his neck was back, tighter than before.

"FUCK!" He hit the steering wheel with such force, that it rattled the whole construction. Arthur needed to let go, he would marry Linda in three weeks and start a new part of his life with her.

“I, Arthur, take thee, Linda, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.”

“I, Linda, take thee, Arthur, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

The eldest Shelby brother gently took her hand and slipped the golden band onto her left ring finger, repeating after the priest. “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

Linda smiled up at him, her eyes so full of love and shining with happiness that he couldn't help but get infected by her. Returning her smile, Arthur leaned in and gently laid his lips on hers. His brothers cheered, albeit forcing themselves to be happy for him and his new wife. She had brought faith back into his life and would help him achieve his dreams of family and fortune.

When he looked up, at the end of the aisle Arthur thought he saw a flash of red before it disappeared again.

Had she come to witness his wedding? Maybe trying to stop it all together?

But no, he had told her goodbye, told her she wasn't the one for him because unlike Linda, Niamh hadn't changed his way. Hadn't made him see the light in this darkness again. At least that was, what he was trying to tell himself, because buried deep down in the pit of his heart there was a small fire burning for the redhead, that would never be put out, no matter how much water he'd use to kill the flames.

"Come on brother, let's celebrate your union." John called, pulling both Linda and him into a tight hug before he joined his wife Esme and their children on the way to the Garrison where Tommy had prepared the reception. At first Linda had protested, having wanted a proper banquet but she was soon overruled when Arthur told her it was easier that way. She'd have to learn that arguing with his brother or even Aunt Polly was never a good way to live in the Shalby family, it would be more peaceful to just concede and try to be happy about it.

"Come on now, luv, let's get some refreshments before we consummate our wedding and really make it official, ey." the eldest Shelby grinned at his wife, leaning down to swiftly brush her lips with his own, before he grabbed her waist and pulled her along to the pub.

Niamh had been planning to avoid the ceremony, knowing that only heartache would follow but she needed to be there to hear his vows and see his actions. Only then could she try to forget Arthur Shalby and move on, just like he did. No thought had been spared for her when he had repeated the words, giving his ring to her and promising a new life.

During the wedding she had wanted to stop them so many times, but when the final words of their vows had been spoken, she knew it was too late. He now was a married man and she, just a girl, a woman he used to know before he found Linda and her faith.

Taking a deep breath, the redhead hastily brushed a stray tear away and grabbed her bag, leaving the church as fast as possible, yet one pair of eyes followed her, always watchful for the happenings around them, knowing fully well that she hadn't just been there by mistake and trying to piece together what the real reason had been behind her short visit in the house of the Lord.

#tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #arthur shelby x oc #arthur shelby imagine #arthur shelby fanfiction #arthur shelby #shelby family #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Emmett Cullen Having a Male Mate would include:

(I haven’t Slept in 72 hours so if this is bad I’ll rewrite it as soon as I’m able to get some proper sleep :) just let me know. This is also a long one and I hope y’all enjoy. Stay safe y’all)

Requested by: @shamelessloverhairdopainter​ (If this isn’t to your liking feel free to dm me and let me know)

He was not expecting you to walk in the door

Not because you’re a man, because he thought Alice would have given him a heads up

Doesn’t approach you at first, he’s to starstruck.

You notice his stare and offer him a small smile

He would normally feel slightly embarrassed for being caught gawking at you but he’s to busy being an extremely excited goofball

“Edward! What’s the new kid thinking!”

Edward had been shifting his eyes in between the two of you since the moment Emmett saw you

“He think’s your ‘kinda cute’ but is mainly confused about where he’s supposed to be going.”

“I know how to solve that!” He exclaims, slamming his hand on the table as he gets up

The man is nervous as hell walking up to you but the overwhelming urge to be near you over-rides the nerves

He forget’s about personal space for a second and walks up right behind you

“Uhm, excuse me.” He’d say tapping your shoulder

Not expecting you to flinch so hard you drop all the papers your were carrying

“Oh god I’m so sorry.” Suddenly those pesky nerves flood back

You’re still having a small heart attack as he starts to gather up your papers

“I-It’s okay, you just surprised me is all.” 

Your heartbeat quickens slightly when you realize your jump scare mystery man was the cute guy who was staring at you- this does not go unnoticed by Emmett

“I’m Emmett, you just looked sort of lost so I was going to ask if you needed help.” He smirks handing your papers back.

“Oh? Was it that obvious?”

“Well the fact that you had your head stuck in a map was a dead giveaway.”

He ends up showing you around for the rest of the lunch break, talking and joking around as he does.

You didn’t know why he had decided to help you- considering everyone else just ignored you- but you were glad he did

He was glad he did too

You end up meeting everyday at lunch to hang out

Meeting up with him becomes on of the highlights of your day.

He is constantly bugging Edward and Jasper to know what you’re thinking and feeling

“Emmett If you want to know what he’s thinking just go and ask him!” Edward snaps after Emmett had caught him in a bad mood.

You overhear the conversation and although are a little confused at the context, you can’t help but get a little pissed off he was talking to Emmett like that.

Emmett awkwardly walk over to you and ask’s what your doing

“Nothing much, Hey can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why’s your brother being such a dick?”

Emmett nearly chokes he laughed so hard

Edward sulks in the corner

After a few weeks you both get a bit restless only seeing each other during lunch but are to nervous to ask the other to hang out another time

You work up the courage to ask him to hang out outside of school tomorrow- randomly ambushing him the parking lot

“Yes!” He answers a tad to quickly, “Er, I mean that would be cool.”

Dude is absolutely pumped

Both of you realize you forgot one main part- planning what you wanted to do.

He clears his throat awkwardly “Well, If you want, you could come over to my house.”

You curse internally as you feel an unwanted blush spread across your face “Yeah, sure.”

Drives you to his house, showing you his favorite music on the way.

Has to fight back a laugh when you point out he didn’t buckle up

“Uh, can you wait here for a second?” He asks when you pull up to the house.

“Sure..”

He rushes inside and warns everyone you were here

Alice already saw it coming, everyone is on there best behavior making food for you

“Just play it cool.” He warns everyone before rushing back out to you.

“Everything alright?”

“Yup.” He answers smirking

You’re surprised when you walk in and everyone is staring at you.

“Uh... I hope it’s okay I came over.”

“Of course it is! A friend of Emmett’s is a friend of ours!” Esme beams, finally getting a look at this boy that had her son practically giddy

Emmett tugs you further into the house almost immediately, partially because he didn’t want you to feel ganged up on and also because he finally got to have some alone time with you

You end up playing a lot of video games- you lose your mind when Emmett plays Guitar Hero’s hardest level perfectly- Super speed really came in handy during gaming.

Esme and Carlisle show up in the middle of your gaming sesh with a snack for you

You gratefully accept it but insist they really didn’t have to

They insist it was there pleasure 

They leave the two of you alone, they both are already consider you family

You eat while commenting on Emmett’s game play, nearly choking when he dies and throws the remotes across the room.

That day forward the awkwardness is basically gone

Bro Emmett

Protective Emmett

Playful Emmett

Emmett that throws you over his shoulder and run books it down the halls

Emmett that challenges you to fights despite the fact he towers over you and is all muscle

You can tell he let’s you win- although he does absolutely “pummel” you

He never actually hurts you- although you have hurt yourself a few time attempting to sneak attack him

He didn’t even flinch and you fell flat on your face

You still to this day have yet to live that down

You’re basically already dating without it being official

You go out constantly- you take a small chance and joke it’s almost like your dating

You keep your eyes  straight forward expecting some “Ew gross no homo” response

When it comes you spare a single glance and see him with a big grin spread across his face

That was when it clicked your feelings might be mutual

He already knew how you felt due to bugging Jasper

but that was when he knew it was time to ask you out

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Ya?”

“Do you want to go out?”

“Like..... a date?”

“Yup.”

Remain calm- remain caLM

“Yes!”

You both quietly sit there for a moment absolutely loosing your minds

“Awesome.” He smiles wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer

“Hey Emmett?”

“What’s up Y/N?”

“I didn’t know you were into men.”

“Neither did I until you came along.”

Once you two started dating it was like a damn burst and all he wanted to do was be near you.

The feeling was mutual

Movie and Arcade dates are some of your favorites

You’ve made out in school, at your house, in the forest, in movies, almost everywhere

Almost always has a hand somewhere on you- mainly your thigh

He also adores taking you hiking, If you get tired he just picks you up and keeps on going

He’s a lovable bro

and a lovable teddy bear

If your parents were homophobic Emmett is alright with pretending to just be one of ‘the boys’ until your ready

When you are ready, he’s on his absolute best behavior. He knows he won’t be able to suddenly make them no homophobic but god damn he’s not going to give them a reason to hate him

If they treat you badly at home because of it you suddenly are spending most of your nights at the Cullen residence

Even Rosalie starts to live you

Emmett has no quarrel with revealing there secret to you

You’re doing your homework in Emmett’s room when he suddenly emerges, giving you a pat on the back and straight up telling you.

“It’s about time you know. Y/N my family and I are vampires.”

“....?”

Convinced it’s some weird joke

“Halloweens not for months... and April first was months ago... I don’t get it.”

He just laughs, sitting on the small futon couch next to you and tells you he’s telling the truth

You just let out a nervous laugh when you realize he’s serious

“Emmett are you feeling okay?”

“Yes? Why- I’m not crazy Y/N. Here let me show you.”

Takes you by the hand and leads you outside, past his nervous looking family who you cast confused looks at

He takes you out back, lets go of your hand, and then jump nearly 30 feet in the air and lands on a tree

“what the fuck” you whisper, watching your apparently not human boyfriend look down and laugh at you.

When he jumps down and lands next to you, your almost the one jumping 30 feet in the air

“You all right.”

“UHM!” You motion to the tree and back to him a few times, pure shock clouding your mind

“HOW?! WHEN?! WHY?!” You nearly yell

“I was attacked by a bear and Rosalie saved me in 1935.”

“A BEAR?!?- wait your almost a hundred?”

Big smile and a nod is the only response you get

This goes on for almost 20 minutes before you sigh and mumble “well ok then?” and head back inside

The rest of the cullens got a front row seat to the whole thing and considering the circumstance you’re handling it well

You’re relationship ends up being pretty much the same except you force him to watch Dracula and interview with the vampire, along with other vampire movies a lot.

You buy a vampire romance novel for “Research”

With the big secret out Emmett finally feels ready to talk about going a bit further in your physical relationship

You wait until your parents are away on a trip so you’re away from certain immortal with heightened hearing

Edward and Jasper give him side eyes as he leaves the house

Your heart is beating almost a mile a minute when you hear a knock at the door

You invite him in and in a matter of minutes things are picking up speed

You have both been repressed for so long it’s no surprise

You fall asleep on his chest afterwards- of course after the two out you chatted a bit

He spends the night breathing in your scent, stroking your hair, caressing your cheek- such soft touches for someone so inhumanly strong

When you wake up and the memories all come flooding back and your cheeks burn hot and your heartbeat steadily increases, you shine and bury your head in his chest when he starts laughing at how easily flustered you are

Flustered or not you both agree it will become a more regular activity

Emmett is so damn proud when you graduate, if he could cry he probably would’ve

Carries you out on his shoulders chanting some ridiculous rhyme he made up

You guys party all night

Will deny it to Carlisle but he definitely got you a little tipsy

Months later some nomad vampires start wreaking havoc for the cullens

When they threaten you Emmett goes major protection mode

Only leaves your side to eat when absolutely necessary 

He can tell it’s taking a toll on you and everything else

That’s when he suggest’s turning you for your protection

Besides Rosalie everyone agrees 

Carlisle tries his best to make it a pain less process

although nothing could truly stop the mind numbing burning sensation that consumed you for days until it suddenly all went black

When you woke up, everything was heightened, you’re hearing, your smell, your taste, you’re sight, everything was so intense.

You went to stand but got thrown off by your force and speed

Two strong arms held you steady

“Emmett?”

“ehm, yes.”

“That sucked.”

Earned you a small chuckle from him

He insists on teaching you everything, hunting, fighting, acting, how to go crazy but not to crazy

He show’s you how intense everything is now

And by everything I mean everything

You two became a force to be reckoned with

Those Nomad’s stood no chance

No matter where you guys were you were a power couple

The Strongest and gayest power couple to ever walk the earth

And it was going to stay that way for a long time

#Emmett x reader #Emmett cullen x reader #Emmett Cullen imagine #Emmett cullen #Emmett #Emmett cullen x male reader #malereader #vampire #twilight #emmett x male reader

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

A continued rant of Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Part 1

Just so you know, I was SO CLOSE to finishing this post when Chrome fucking froze on me and I couldn’t get it going again and I couldn’t save what I’d worked on so far, so now I have to rewrite the entire thing from memory, love that for me.  😭😭😭😭😭😭 Tumblr didn’t want to save everything, though, so I had to split it up. Link to Part 2 is at the end.

Well, @diamondkissle and @edwardssparklyskin asked for it and it’s Christmas, so they shall receive. Happy Holidays, guys. I present to you my continued rant of Breaking Dawn Part 2. I will pick up where I left off in the last post, after Bella’s sparkle faint glimmer scene.

So, going straight into it, we got one of my bigger annoyances, and that is this right here:

Um, Carlisle, sweetie, what are you writing that down for?? You have?? Like?? Perfect Recall?? You’re probably gonna remember every single measurement by yourself for like?? Centuries?? Like Bella could ask you five hundred years from now what height Renesmee was at 4PM on Day 5 and you would be able to tell her??? From memory??? What is the notepad for??

Also the terrible CGI on those kids’ faces is just sad. I know they wanted all of them to look like the same child but they could have tried to find more kids who look similar to Mackenzie Foy instead of that obviously fake face replacement, since most of them only show up for literally only a second. Just yikes. I’m not adding screencaps of those here, you guys know what they look like.

One positive thing I will say is that I liked that they didn’t make Bella’s eyes go straight from red to gold, but instead used one or two hues in between until they arrived at gold, like this one during the snowflake-catching scene:

Then of course we have Irina snitching on the Cullens and Caius giving us his cringey but still iconic sarcastic “Hm?”, which just ... well, it is what it is.

And now. AND NOW. We’re going into one of my biggest annoyances of this movie, and I call it SCENES THAT WERE OBVIOUSLY SHOT IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT BUT FOR SOME FUCKING REASON NONE OF THE VAMPIRES SPARKLE. 

Part 1.

For this we are heading up into lovely Alaska where Edward, Bella and Jacob are taking Renesmee to the Denali coven to ask for their support. Now, when Edward steps out of the car, you see that lovely halo around his hair?

Am I the only one who sees this and sees DIRECT SUNLIGHT? Like, if this were overcast his hair would not light up that much on the edges, right???

KATE IS EVEN FUCKING SQUINTING BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH LIGHT, HOW IS THIS NOT DIRECT SUNLIGHT????

WHY IS

THERE NO

SPARKLING????????

WE WERE ROBBED. We deserved to 1. get a proper sparkle scene of Bella in the first place and 2. see some of the other vampires sparkle as well. Where is my Alice sparkle scene??? My Esme sparkle scene??? My Emmett sparkle scene???

But yeah, let’s move on, right? Straight into SCENES THAT WERE OBVIOUSLY SHOT IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT BUT FOR SOME FUCKING REASON NONE OF THE VAMPIRES SPARKLE. 

Part 2.

For this we’re heading over to sunny Cairo, where the sun may not be shining down directly on our characters, BUT my point still stands because of this:

You see that lovely light coming through the window? That’s direct sunlight, baby. And even coming through a window it should bounce off vamp skin at least a little bit and make it at the very least glimmer a bit, right?

And yet

Nada. Not even a faint glimmer. Fuck this.

Moving on, we got something that is not exactly a critique so much as an observation. So when we first meet Benjamin and when Benjamin first meets Renesmee, his eyes are very red, as expected. 

But then later, when he declares that he will fight with the Cullens, should it come to it, his eyes look at little more orange to me.

Do you guys think that’s because he’s growing thirsty and they’re darkening, or do you think (which definitely would be interesting) that he hunted animals at least some of the time while visiting (which would go against Amun’s principles) and that’s why the eye color is slightly different?

Next up, the Volturi’s a bit strange interaction with Toshiro.

This is where we see Alec’s power for the first time and while I get that they wanted to visualize it for the audience, I feel like they could have done it differently and still gotten the point across without resorting to literal black smoke. Not sure I’m really happy with it, the way it looks.

One funny thing, though, is the fact that Aro looks like he’s offering Toshiro to join their Victorian goth metal band, lol.

Then we have another strange choice they made with this movie, and that is the way Alistair looks at Bella. Like, here we have him seeing her for the first time, and being quite antagonistic and hostile and a lone wolf

Flash forward to when Bella succeeds with her shield projection for the first time and we have him looking at her like this

Is it just me or does this scream more than just plain being impressed by her abilities? I mean, even though no two shields are exactly the same, they’re not super rare or anything, so why would he look at her like that? It’s weird.

And then of course we have this awkward interaction between them after she returns from her meeting with J. Jenks.

I know part of it is him believing she’s not being genuine about the whole situation with Renesmee and their impending confrontation with the Volturi, but to see him take so much interest in her when he literally doesn’t give a shit about anyone but Carlisle (otherwise he wouldn’t have come in the first place), is really, really odd to me.

Speaking of Bella, another thing that bugs me. When she drops off Jacob and Renesmee at Charlie’s on her way to her meeting with J. Jenks, it’s apparently okay for her not to wear brown contacts, even though?? She’s supposed to be?? Stealthy with Charlie?? If I remember correctly (and correct me if I’m wrong), she always wore brown contacts around Charlie in the book (and she does again later in the movie, too, where Charlie is the only one who doesn’t know she’s a vampire specifically), but here apparently it’s okay even though they’re clearly visible???

But then, when she meets with J. Jenks, who has never seen her before, she puts contacts in??? Even though JJ has no fucking clue gold isn’t her normal eye color?? Even though the Cullens run around humans with golden eyes all the fucking time because no one knows their human eye colors???

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

And speaking of the J. Jenks bit. I know they couldn't spend too much time on it, so they decided to do it in one fell swoop, and that's fine, but I still wish we could have gotten the whole part of her finding his office and talking to the guy on the street and everything. Bummer.

Next up, ah, Christmas. How fitting for today. xD So, the Christmas scene is another one that frustrates me a bit. I mean the whole Bedward giving Charlie tickets to go fishing out of town bit and him being like "You guys wanna get rid of me or something?" is quite funny. But like??? Seth and Leah are here, too??? And all we see of them is the back of their heads???

We don't even get a glimpse of them from the front??? Not a tiny bit of awkward conversation between Leah and Bella? Not one clever quip by Seth about anything?? We were robbed, I'm telling you, ROBBED.

This is the end of Part 1. Here is Part 2.

#breaking dawn #breaking dawn part 2 #bella cullen #bella swan #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #charlie swan #alistair #jacob black #renesmee cullen #aro #volturi #benjamin #denali coven

[peakyblinderswhore]

hello, i just wanted to start off by saying i really like your blog. so i got dumped and i'm feeling sad and insecure. could you write something in which the reader is insecure with john or michael? if so, thanks, a lot

A/N: yes i am seven years in the past.

sorry my loves.

W/C: 1.2k

You hate this feeling. You know that you hate this feeling.

It’s a rather strong feeling coming from your gut that travels up your throat and makes you want to throw up.

A lump forms in your throat as you anticipate the words that your boyfriend is about to say, he’s already on a long angry rant about something or other so it isn’t hard to guess what’s coming next.

“Oh and don’t get me started on those unflattering clothes!” he exclaims drunkenly.

He’d never been a violent or angry drunk, your boyfriend. Only verbally abusive and yet sometimes you flinched as if he had slapped you right across the face like any other man in Birmingham. You only assumed that was the norm – to be verbally abused. However, you had always considered yourself lucky as you knew very well that some of the girls at work received much worse beatings than words alone.

“I mean, for fuck’s sake,” his voice fades back in, invading your mind, putting up some defences so that it doesn’t hurt all too much when it comes, “put some effort into your appearance. I’m surprised that mirror over there hasn’t fucking cracked yet, talk about bad luck. Bad luck…” he mutters, “I got some bad luck being stuck with you!”

As meek as you had been throughout his abuse, you whimpered at the last part. Anyone would have, it was a nasty thing for him to have said, then say drunk words are sober thoughts.

“Why don’t you leave then?”

He stops midway through a small rant about a kid that had run in front of him earlier in the day and caused a mild inconvenience, “Why don’t I – what?”

“Leave. Why don’t you leave?” You lift your head up because it’s a well-known fact that when a woman looks him in the eyes, he feels threatened, “Michael would have never said something like that to me. None of his lot would have.”

“Michael this, Michael that,” he mimics and taunts you, “of course Michael loves you the most!”

Carefully you open the door and slowly say to him, “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere, love,” he stands up and looms over you, breathing his whiskey breath into your face. It tasted sour in the air.

“Then I will.”

You snatch up your coat and quickly wrap it around yourself, as tight as you can to hold off the bite of the cold wind on the outside. You didn’t even change into proper shoes, you’re just determined to get out of the house to somewhere where you felt safe and (ironically) at home.

He calls after you, it’s no surprise, really, that he feels this useless without you. You knew that he was practically bone idle when it came to working around the house and feeding himself. That had been one of the things that made you want to be with him in the first place — you had wanted to be the typical housewife and show him what a real meal was. It was your own downfall, it seems.

Quickening your pace as you stumbled through the unlit streets of Small Heath, you could only pray that he was there, waiting for you where you hoped he was every time something went wrong.

The door was in sight and you inwardly sighed. You felt safe here.

You quietly open the door and push it closed behind you; you didn’t want to wake anyone in the house who may be sleeping — it was rare for some but more often than not someone was praying that they were fast asleep.

Walking through the sitting room, you make your way to the kitchen. It was still empty so you pushed back the thick curtains that hide a doorway and made your way through.

It was dark but you could see a light coming from one of the offices in the betting den.

Clutching onto your coat tighter, you walk towards the office with the faint glow coming from it. You knew the other Shelby’s would be out drinking — or at least hoped they were — and stepped into the room.

“Michael?” you whisper.

He looks up, startled by your presence but nonetheless, he steps towards you, ready for whatever you may say to him.

“Why are you here so late?”

“Michael,” you begin, eyes welling up, “Oh Michael, I’ve really gone and done it this time…”

Flopping onto one of his chairs, you bury your face into your hands, Michael quickly makes his way around the table, from whatever work he was doing, and wraps his arms around you.

“Now you listen here,” Michael lifts your face, slightly puffy from the crying, and says, “you, my love, have nothing to worry about.”

“But Michael —”

“No. You are okay. Don’t worry, he wasn’t worth it,” he murmurs, resting your head on his chest.

“Unflattering and bad luck. That’s what he thinks I am, Michael,” you blubber out, hot tears pouring down your face.

Michael pulls away to look at you. You lift your head to look at him, wondering what he is thinking. Michael never thought bad of you — or at least never showed it or said it to you — and you couldn’t imagine what that would be like. A happy life, that’s all you ever asked for.

“Am I chubby Michael?”

Michael’s face falters, you couldn’t tell if it was because he wasn’t expecting it or not.

“I love that you have a little extra in all the right places… makes you seem more real.”

“Huh?” You reply, your eyes widening at his response. It certainly wasn’t what you expected but it was far more astonishing than you could’ve ever asked for.

His eyes were enchanting; the slight glint in them shining whenever he spoke to you. His pupils widened whenever he thought about you; about saying something to you; even when he was sat right in front of you like he was now.

“I like to consider myself a little more conscious than my cousin counterparts. Grace was too skinny, or so Polly tells me, Linda’s far too uptight with God, also Polly, and Esme is unrealistic. You, however… wow, you amaze me every time I see you.”

Sniffling, you offer a small smile, “I don’t think you see me in the right light, Michael.”

Michael studies you. Quickly, you put your head down, not wanting to disappoint him with whatever he may find.

With all of these thoughts running through your head, all of the things he might point out that he doesn’t like, ask where all of the scars littered across your body are from, whether they’re self-inflicted or accidents or dodging of bottles being thrown your way, Michael stops them all, by tilting your chin to face him gently with his soft fingers.

“You, are the only person I have ever truly loved,” he whispers before brushing his lips against yours.

Without thinking, you lean into his embrace, allowing him to kiss you more. Michael’s arms wrap around you in such a way that lets him pick you up and hold you closer.

You smile, having never shared a moment like this before, you felt at home, you felt safe. Most of all, you felt as if it was the two of you against the world.

#michael gray #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #Peaky Blinders #1920s #michael shelby #aunt polly #polly gray #polly shelby #imagine #fluff #reader x michael gray #reader x michael shelby #littlemissshelbyreplies #peaky blinders

[arharperwrites]

She loves him. He breaks her

Author’s Note: This my first ever fic for Open Heart, I hope you like it. If anyone’s interested, I could do a part 2.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr Ava Black)

Warnings: there’s angst. and some f-bombs

Word Count: 3122

 She loves him. He breaks her.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, but could you tell me where could I find Ethan Ramsey?”

Ava couldn’t help but look up from the lab results she was examining at the nurse’s station when she heard his name being said.

“Sorry ma’am, I wouldn’t know, but Dr Black might.” Nurse Lily said, pointing to Ava. The woman turned to her, and Ava got a proper look: she was a bit shorter than Ava, blonde hair in a ponytail, a few strands escaping it. She was carrying a motorcycle helmet under her left arm. Ava detected a hint of a Southern accent when she spoke to her.

“Hello, I’m looking for Ethan Ramsey, the nurse said you might know where he is?”

“He is in the Diagnostics conference room, there, second door on the right,” Ava explained, pointing to the glass doors.

“Thank you love, much appreciated” the woman smiled at her, going in the direction Ava pointed in.

To say that Ava’s interest was piqued would be an understatement. The woman wasn’t any of the patients they treated, though she could be one of the old cases the team treated before she joined. Was she a college friend of Ethan’s? She did look as if they could be the same age. Ava’s thoughts were interrupted when her pager beeped, reminding her she needs to get to the free clinic. Pushing Ethan and the mysterious woman out of her mind, she walked to the elevators.

Don’t get her wrong, Ava loved her job, but sometimes it would be nice if she could end her shift and not feel like she was run over by a truck. Like, a proper 18-wheeler. She couldn’t wait until she got into a nice shower to ease the tension in her neck. But luck wasn’t on her side as her pager beeped once again, reminding her the extra tests she ordered were done. She could’ve just left them to wait until morning, but she knew she couldn’t sleep if the results showed something, and she let it wait. Turning away from the locker room, she trudged to the lab, where the technician gave her the results and a sympathetic smile. On her way to the conference room she looked over the results, relieved they were fine, but annoyed as it didn’t shine a light on what was going on with the patient. As she entered the room, she noticed Ethan was still there by his desk, going over some papers.

“I thought your shift was over Dr Black,” he said, removing his glasses.

“I could say the same thing about you Dr Ramsey,” she answered back. He simply smirked at her.

Ava gave him the results she was holding “The extra tests for Mr Robins came back, everything is normal”

“Hmm, I guess we’ll just have to propose new theories tomorrow. Go home and rest” he ordered, putting back his glasses and resuming his paperwork.

Ava replied with a simple ‘good night’ and was about to exit the room, when she remembered the earlier encounter she had. She turned back to Ethan.

“Hey, quick question. Who was the woman who was here before lunch break? Pale, blonde hair, carrying a motorcycle helmet. She was looking for you and I gave her the directions” the young doctor asked.

To her surprise, Ethan looked…embarrassed?

“Oh, so you’ve met Stephanie. She’s a, uh, a former colleague of mine.”

“So, she used to work at Edenbrook?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’? How could she be a former colleague when you’ve never worked outside this hospital, and you say she never worked here?”

Ethan took a pause, averting his gaze from Ava. Why was this becoming awkward? Eventually, he replied: “No, she didn’t work here. She’s with the Doctors Without Borders. We met in Brazil”

It was time for Ava to look down. Ahh, she thought. His stint at the Amazon. Makes sense.

“I see. It’s nice of her to visit you, I guess,” She replied after a while, a bitter feeling in her mouth. She still couldn’t shake off this feeling she got every time his absence was mentioned. However irrational it seemed, Ava couldn’t help but feel like he had abandoned her for those two months.

More of an awkward pause followed, and neither of them seemed to want to break it, until Ava mustered up the courage to look at him again. He still looked as if he was ashamed of something.

“Well, I should be going. See you tomorrow Dr Ramsey” she turned and walked out.

The uneasy feeling she had followed her home, and not even the shower she took could shake of the thought that Ethan was hiding something.

                                                             ---

Ava didn’t see Ethan all morning, having done rounds with Esme and covering Sienna’s part at the free clinic. After wolfing down her lunch in the cafeteria, she realized she had some time left, so she set out to grab some coffee from that place Ethan took her people-watching. The smell of fresh coffee filled her senses until her eyes fell on the table in the corner. Ethan was sitting there, but he wasn’t alone. Opposite him sat the woman from yesterday, Stephanie. Honestly, she should’ve been fine seeing them together. Stephanie was a colleague, same as June or Ines. Yeah, but June and Ines didn’t spend two months with him in an Amazonian jungle, a voice in her head said. Ava’s stomach turned and suddenly coffee didn’t seem like such a great idea anymore. She made her way towards the exit, internally praying they don’t spot her, but it seemed as if she missed out on luck for the second day in a row. It was Stephanie that spotted her, and beckoned her over. Not wanting to appear rude, Ava put on a smile and walked towards the two doctors.

“Hello again, Dr Black. Would you like to join us?” the blonde asked, pointing to the empty chair.

Ava couldn’t decipher the way Ethan was looking at her. Tearing her gaze from him, Ava shook her head, saying: “Thank you, but no, sorry. I realized I forgot my wallet and remembered I have some tests waiting for me. Plus, I wouldn’t want to impose. I’m sure you have catching up to do”

“Yeah, if by catching up you mean I talk non-stop and he gives the world’s shortest answers. If he even wants to give them to me” Stephanie said playfully. Ethan just rolled his eyes.

“I guess Dr Ramsey opens to no one, glad I’m not the only one who failed”

“Hey, she’s making fun of you! I like her Ethan!”

“Of course you do Stephanie” Ethan replied, standing up. “Take a seat Black, I’ll get you the coffee. The usual?” he waited before Ava nodded. She watched him leave, then took the seat Stephanie offered her.

“So, he’s tense even when he’s not fighting a pandemic outbreak. It’s like his idea of fun is running blood tests” Stephanie said, sipping on her coffee.

Ava couldn’t help but chuckle, agreeing with her: “Yeah, he doesn’t really relax. We went to an art gallery recently to get some information about the patient, and like, I know we were working, but the intensity with which he observed everything, it’s like he was doing a CT scan with his eyes”

“Yeah, I can imagine that. You know, we had some nights in Brazil when we would like gather around, have a drink, you know, relax a bit. But that guy? Never. Always going over papers or checking supplies. I swear he was tense while we were having sex!” Stephanie explained, huffing.

It was a good thing Stephanie was looking at Ethan, because she wouldn’t have missed the hurt that flashed in Ava’s eyes. She could feel the tear forming. He slept with her? Trying to sound as casual as possible, fighting the turmoil inside her, Ava asked her: “You two, uh, slept together?”

“Yeah, and trust me love, I didn’t think it would happen. I just told him one night that if I had the same problem he was dealing with, I would solve it by hooking up with someone and be done with it. He looked at me as if I’d grown a second head, it was hilarious. He did eventually listen to my advice, though, but it didn’t help his problem” Stephanie explained.

Truth to be told, Ava wasn’t really listening to her anymore. All she could think about was his touch, his lips, how he made love to her, and now all that was marred with pictures of him being with someone else. She thought she meant something to him. Her heart ached. Was I truly nothing to you Ethan?

She stood up fast, just as Ethan approached with her coffee. She took it from him, not able to look him in the eye. “Thank you for the coffee Dr Ramsey, Stephanie, it was nice meeting you, but I must really get going,” Ava said, hurrying towards the exit. She couldn’t hold her tears for much longer.

“Wait Ava, I’ll go with you” Ethan said, but she was already through the door.

“Wait, that was Ava? As in, the Ava, the-girl-you-couldn’t-get-out-of-your-head Ava?” Stephanie asked.

“I knew I shouldn’t’ve told you about her. Actually, I distinctly remember we agreed we weren’t going to mention that conversation”

“I’ll take that as a yes. In that case, I think I fucked up”

Ethan looked at her incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

Stephanie looked at him, sheepishly. “Ok, I might’ve told her we hooked up”

“You what?”

“Look, we were talking about how tense you always are, so I mentioned that not even sex relaxed you. If I knew I was talking to Ava, I would’ve kept my mouth shut!”

“Jesus Stephanie, why on Earth would you talk about that?” Ethan looked at her, anger seeping from him. This could not be happening.

“I’m sorry, you know how I blabber non-stop. I thought she was just a co-worker, not the woman you’re in love with!”

“I’m not in lo-, you know, never mind.” he said, slumping on the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. This should not be fucking happening.

“Now what do you think you’re doing mister, sitting here all miserable? Go after her!”

“And tell her what?”

“Umm, I don’t know, the truth maybe?” Stephanie said exasperated before continuing “Tell her why you slept with me: to try and get her out of your mind before you lost it. Also tell her that it did not work one bit; you still couldn’t not think about her”

“I can’t do that Stephanie. I vowed myself I would keep things professional between us. She has the potential to be one of the best diagnosticians, I won’t let us get in the way of that.”

“Ramsey, don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s bull, and you know it. Who knows, perhaps she might become a better doctor if you give in. Who’s to say you wouldn’t improve as a doctor?”

Ethan looked at Stephanie, who raised her eyebrows to further her point.

“Look Stephanie, I appreciate your well intentions, but I care about Ava too much to jeopardize her future. Thank you for coming, but I need to get back to work.”

“You are a lost cause Ethan. Please think about this.”

“Goodbye Stephanie” was all he said before stepping out of the café.

                                                         ---

She really couldn’t believe she just cried in a supply room. Over something so stupid. Hell, Ethan’s not her boyfriend. He’s her boss. He doesn’t owe her anything and he has every right to sleep with whomever he wishes. But why does it still hurt to even think about it? She wasn’t even mad at Stephanie. Why would she be? She had to give it to her, she has good taste in men. Ava would probably do the same. Hell, she did do the same. She could still remember how he brought her to the edge over and over, how he kissed all the right spots. She remembered him moaning her name and she swears, her name never sounded better to her. Ava brought her fingers to her lips. When he kissed her she felt as if the Earth was spinning rapidly, yet stood perfectly still at the same time. His kiss consumed her, like she was dying and his kiss was bringing her back to life. She never felt like this.

Her pager brought her out of her reverie. Shaking her head, she set out to the free clinic to pick up her shift. She successfully bumped into three different people on her way to the elevators. Way to go Black. She entered the elevator, glad for the few seconds she had to clear her mind, until she realized the only other person in the elevator was, of course, Ethan Ramsey. Just my luck, thought Ava. She was just going to ignore him, until her pressed the stop button and turned to her. “We need to talk”

Ava put on her best neutral face she could muster and faced him. Mistake. His eyes were too distracting. Fuck. “About Mr Robins? I thought June and Baz figured out he ha-“

“Not about the patient. About what Stephanie told you”

Fuck. She can feel the tears forming. Wow, you’re weak the voice in her head said.

“She didn’t tell me anything. At least, not anything we should be discussing” she said, averting her gaze. He just had to stand in front of the buttons, so there’s no way for her to re-start the elevator. Great.

“Don’t lie to me Rookie. We both know you know Stephanie and I hooked up while we were in Brazil”

“I really don’t see the reason why we should talk about that”

“Oh you want to play like that? I thought we were grown-ups who could have a normal conversation, but it looks like I was wrong, because someone still acts like a child.”

“Oh you’re right, someone is acting like a child, but that someone sure as hell ain’t me”

“Is that so Dr Black?”

“Yes Dr Ramsey, it is. Because a grown-up stands by his principles, unlike a child, who changes his opinion when it suits him. In this case, the child is you,” she was facing him once again, but this time with anger in her eyes, jabbing a finger in his chest. “You were the one who wanted to keep things professional. You were the one that decided it was ‘the best for both us’, which frankly, I considered bullshit, but I respected you and your choice. And now you suddenly want to talk about ‘us’? Last time I checked, thanks to you, there was no ‘us’”

“Ava, you know what I meant. Besides, the way you exited the café, it was apparent you were distraught by the news”

“Of course I was fucking distraught! Which is so stupid, because I know that I shouldn’t’ve been. Like you said, you are my boss, not my boyfriend. You have every right to be with whomever you want, and you sure as hell don’t need to explain yourself to me. So why are you doing this? Why do you want to hurt me further if you say there is nothing between us?”

This time, his eyes flashed with anger.

“Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say we never had anything” he growled.

“But you want me to forget about it, Ethan. You want me to be your peer and nothing else. I’m sorry, but you can’t do that to me then. You can’t toy with my emotions like that”

“Ava, you need to know that I regret sleeping with her. Hell, the only reason why I slept with her because I was trying to forget about y-“

“Ethan please, don’t. Please,” she uttered, not being able to contain the tears. It broke his heart seeing her like that. He hated seeing her in pain, and now he was the one who was causing it. Way to go, Ramsey. She continued through her tears: “I can’t do this. Please, I can’t. Do you know how hard it is to not think about you? About our moments together? Do you know how hard I tried to stop myself from falling in love with you? And I failed, I failed so miserably. So please, I don’t know if I ever meant anything to you, but if I did, just the tiniest bit, please don’t tell me about other women. Respect me. That is all I ask. I will be nothing more than your colleague and keep things professional. All I ask is do not remind me of what we could’ve had. What we could’ve been.”

His heart broke with every word, with every sob. He wanted to punch himself for hurting her. She wasn’t only a brilliant doctor, but she had one of the kindest hearts he has ever seen. Her compassion for others simply intensified her medical capabilities. She dealt with her busy schedule, stressed about the budget cuts, she dealt with p.i.t.a. patients, she dealt with patients dying, yet she could always compose herself. And the thing that broke her was him. Him, and his stupid actions.

He pulled her close, cupping her face, resting his forehead on hers. “Rookie, look at me,” he murmured.

Hazel eyes met blue, and he could see the pain so distinctly, it tugged at his heart.

“Forgive me. You were right. I keep telling you we should keep our distance, yet I break it regularly. I am not going to talk about Stephanie, as you wish. But I need you to know this. You mean. You mean so much to me.”

Her lips were so close. Just the slightest move and he would be kissing her, pouring all his passion and emotions he feels towards her in the kiss.

Instead he placed a kiss on her forehead, one last reminder of what it could’ve been. And then he let her go.

He re-started the elevator, his hand aching to go back to holding her, but he resisted. For her.

She calmed herself down, wiping her tears away. They rode the rest of the elevator in silence, and once it opened, Ava looked at him with such fierceness and love in her eyes as if she was looking at him for the last time, which in a way she was. And just like that, they were once again just colleagues. She nodded in acknowledgement. He nodded back at her and watched her leave towards the free clinic, realizing too late she was taking a piece of his heart with her.

#oh #open heart #choices #oh fic #open heart fic #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #fanfiction #ethan ramsey fic

[opheliasbrokenmind]

trying to move on - john shelby

a/n: heey! i know it’s not a request but the idea just popped in my head so i thought i should write this. i’m always open for your requests, feel free to share your ideas with me. hope you like this one <3

p.s.: i still didn’t study for my fucking biology exam and it’s two days later, hope i won’t faint when i saw the questions lmao

‘It hurts more than you think.’

‘Let me help, then.’

‘I'm fed up with your bullshit, Tommy. Fuck off.’ John said and the other members of the family stayed in silence. Thomas buried his face into his hands, sighed heavily.

Everybody knew John was a total mess after what happened. Changrettas killed his wife, Esme. The last time he was like that was when his first wife died. He looked awful with the dark lines under his eyes and he was paler than before.

‘I don't approach this marriage, too. But it has to be done, John. You are the only one who can marry her.’

John froze with Tommy’s words, how could he expect this from him? He kicked a chair, ‘Don't you fucking understand? It's been only two months since Esme died. You just can't fucking come to me and tell me that I'm marrying a woman for your business. First Martha, then Esme. How many women have to die until you understand it's dangerous?’

‘I do know what it feels like, John. Losing a wife, losing a woman you love. But I also know that we have to move on. I understand that you know nothing about her but you'll learn. You didn't know Esme, but you two loved each other. You can try again, you should.’ Tommy's voice softened and his eyes looked directly into his brother's.

‘You’re living in that fucking house and drinking all day, is this how you move on? Stop lying for fuck’s sake. Besides, she doesn’t want this marriage and she is too young for me.’

‘She’ll get used to it, John. Trust me, I heard some about her. She will understand and you two will get to know each other better by the time.’

Polly was right, you had the kindest heart John has ever seen. Your soul was pure and you looked so innocent. He had to admit, you were a natural beauty in her 20s and you were full of love. 

John couldn't control the little smile on his lips when he saw you for the first time. The maiden told him that you arrived and when he went downstairs he found you laughing, talking with his children. His shy daughter was holding your hand, telling you something.

You stood up when you saw him and your smile became smaller, ‘Hey.’ you said and he nodded, ‘Hi.’ It was an awkward moment, you two stayed silent until Tommy came there.

The wedding happened hurriedly, you didn't even wear a proper bridal gown. There weren't many people, just your families and some allies of Tommy. You hadn't spoken to John after your meeting. Then you got married and moved to his house.

He didn't come home for the first weeks, Polly said that he was busy but you knew the truth. You knew he hated you and you understood him, it was hard for him but you couldn't help but feel sad.

You tried to avoid your bad thoughts and give your attention to other things. You took care of the garden, planting new flowers. You spent your days drinking green tea, reading books, playing the piano and pacing in the house. 

Every evening, you asked housemaids to prepare dinner for two people. You waited for him every time but John never came. After a few weeks, you started to eat with housemaids. 

You were alone for too long, friendless. Even a cat lightened up your mood and you became more sincere with the people who worked in the house. 

John heard how were you, of course. He felt bad for what he had done but he just didn't come to the home. One day Tommy called him to his office and talked about you.

‘What you're doing is wrong, John. She is all alone in that house for fucking weeks, I doubt about her mental health. Go today, don't speak if you don't want but at least be there.’

It was the afternoon he came home. He saw you in the kitchen but didn't go in, he stood there to eavesdrop. 

‘I know Maisy, believe me. I do know he won't come but I couldn't help but hope for it, y'know? But Polly told me that he doesn't like his chicken like that so you shouldn't do it. Maybe we can try something different? But what if he is allergic to something?  Let's stick with the chicken, then. Don't fry it, okay? He likes it roasted. Eh, and if he doesn't come we can eat all together, like always’

John was shocked after your words, he couldn't believe his ears. Did you really care about him this much? He compared you with his previous wives and hated himself for doing that. But none of them gave a fuck about what he ate.

He was confused about the way you spoke to the woman, too. He didn't know the housemaids' names but you looked like you knew them and you treated the woman like she was your equal. 

He hid when he heard your footsteps, still didn't want you to notice him. He waited for a few minutes and decided to go to the living room. 

John found you on a coach, your face buried in a book. You were listening to classical music and drinking lemonade. Your hair was messy and you wore a shabby chic nightgown. He couldn't hide his smile. ‘Hello.’

You jumped a little at the sound of his voice and looked surprised, ‘Oh, hey.’ He walked to you and you closed the book after putting the bookmark, watched him sitting next to you. 

He threw a look at the book, ‘French? Didn't know you knew.’ You smiled a little, ‘I studied there for seven years.’ He remarked how little he knew about you.

The silence grew bigger and you stood up, ‘Sorry for the dress, didn't think you'd come. I'll change it.’ He stopped you, ‘'s okay, feel at home.’ You laughed sarcastically at his words.

‘Are you staying for dinner?’ You asked curiously. ‘Actually, I'm staying here for a few days. So, yes.’ He looked at you and saw your eyes, shining with happiness. He liked your smile, ‘By the way, the flowers look pretty.’

You thanked him and Maisy came there to say that the dinner was ready. ‘Mr Shelby, welcome. Is there anything I can do for you, sir?’ John looked at you, ‘Would you mind joining us?’ Your mouth opened and the woman's eyes went wide, ‘E-excuse me?’

‘I think you heard me, please don't make me repeat it.’ You arched an eyebrow when she left the room, ‘What was that?’

He looked at you with that mesmerizing ocean blue eyes, ‘I heard you have company here and didn't want to discomfort you.’ You smiled a little and you two headed to the dining room. 

You ate in silence until he spoke, ‘I was thinking that it's time to bring children here, is that okay for you?’ Your eyes twinkled, ‘Of course it is.’

After dinner, he went to his office to do some paperwork. He came back to the living room almost at midnight and found you on a sofa, still reading a book.

He walked quietly, ‘When are you going to admit that you need sleep?’ You looked at him and closed the book, ‘When will you stop acting?’ With your words, he looked astounded. ‘What?’

‘I know I don't know you at all but I can feel it. You're pretending like everything's okay but it's not, John. You hate seeing my face, I know. And I understand, I really do. But please don't act like it's okay for you. If Thomas asked you to do this please don't.’

‘It's not like t-’

‘Listen to me. It's okay for me if you don't want to live with me, I can go. I don't care what people say, if this is what you want then I'll do it.’ Your eyes were shining with tears, he saw how upset you were and sat next to you.

‘I didn't want to hurt you, I'm sorry. This isn't how I want to live, trust me. I'll tell you the truth, I hated you at first. But when I saw you for the first time, with the kids... I noticed I was being selfish and judging you unfairly. You didn't do anything bad to me but I acted like a fool. You have the softest heart and I keep breaking it.’

‘It's not your fault, John. I know how hard it is for you, trying to move on after what happened.’ You looked at his face and saw the pain in his eyes.

‘It hurts more than you think.’ He whispered.

‘Let me help, then.’ You hugged him slowly and he hugged back to you tightly, making you feel smaller. He didn't say anything but you understood him.

You yawned, closing your mouth with your hand. ‘I can sleep in the guestroom.’ He frowned, ‘What? You're not sleeping there.’

‘Are you sure it is okay for you?’

‘You're my wife.’ You rolled your eyes, gaining a laugh from him. ‘I'm not joking, y/n. C'mere.’ It was the first time he said your name and after that, he embraced you in another hug.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder headcanon #john shelby #john shelby imagine #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #joe cole #arthur shelby #finn shelby #alfie solomons #polly gray #michael gray #peaky fookin blinders #thomas shelby imagine #alfie solomons imagine #john shelby x reader #ada shelby

[fiddlesolo]

Esme and Edward talk about the 1st time they got news of the Titanic sinking when they were human.

“You were human at the time, correct?” Rosalie asked, her red eyes that were fading more and more every day shining with curiosity.

The four of them were sitting around Carlisle’s study. Rosalie had befriended Esme almost instantly upon waking and was warming up to Carlisle and Edward more and more each day. They were swapping stories, Rosalie fascinated with the details of their human lives. The four of them had led such very different lives.

Esme smiled at the girl, pulling her legs up onto the sofa with her as she rested against Carlisle’s side. “Yes. I was seventeen.”

“I was eleven.” Edward said from where he was seated in an armchair beside Rosalie’s chair.

“Wow. My parents used to tell me of the day they learned of the disaster. My mother’s oldest brother was aboard.”

“Really?” Carlisle asked her, his voice soft.

Rosalie nodded. “He didn’t make it off the boat.”

“Oh, how horrible.” Esme breathed. “I can’t imagine what your mother’s family went through during that time.”

Edward looked at Rosalie. “I heard that it took days to properly name the victims.”

“Yeah, my mother said that those few days were dreadful.”

Edward shifted in his seat. “I was rather young and not always privy to whatever my parents were discussing but I know the sinking was devastating for them. They knew multiple people onboard that my father had worked with over the years.”

“Wow.” Rosalie said, her eyes drifting over to Esme. “Did you know anyone onboard?”

Esme shook her head. “No, I didn’t.”

“Do you remember where you were when you heard the news?” The newest vampire asked, pulling her legs up into the armchair as well- relaxing slightly.

Carlisle and Esme both mentally rejoiced at the sight. They wanted Rosalie to be happy, to feel safe and at home.

“I was actually in Columbus when I heard. It was a few days after the wreck- it took some time for the information to get to us and to be factual. First reports told us the the ship hadn’t even sunk, that it was being hauled to New York by another ship.” Esme explained.

“I remember my mother saying something about that.” Rosalie told her.

Esme smiled softly at the girl, happy any time she spoke up. “My friend and I went into town with her brother to do some shopping. We were leaving a shop and it was chaos on the sidewalk. People were yelling, tossing newspapers about- we were terrified. I’d been sure someone had declared war on us or something.”

“I remember being slightly frightened.” Edward said. “Chicago was similar- a bit of chaos. People were so shocked. The Titanic was never supposed to sink.”

Carlisle nodded in agreement. “I was at the hospital when the news broke. It was quite shocking. I’d been alive for centuries at that point and never had a ship been so...adored. People spoke as if it were a legend of some sorts. Invincible.”

“Do you think they’ll ever find it?” Rosalie asked, her eyes on Carlisle. “You’ve been around longer than the rest of us. What are the odds?”

The whole room’s attention shifted to Carlisle as he pondered. Esme held her hand in his, her thumb moving back and forth over his wedding ring as she watched him.

“I think it’s possible.” Carlisle said after a moment. “In the future, with the proper technological advances I believe it could be found. However, the ocean is incredibly vast and even knowing the relative location of the wreckage may not be enough.”

“So...maybe?” Rosalie’s voice was soft, almost hopeful.

Carlisle offered her a gentle smile. “Maybe.”

send me fic prompts

#rosalie hale #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #edward cullen #twilight fanfiction #long post #ask #q

[ijustwant2write]

The Girl From The Circus-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @softtroublemaker)

Masterlist

Summary: The circus is in town, an odd spectacle for the people of Small Heath. The Peaky Blinders obviously take no interest, until one of their youngest members spots a particularly interesting attraction.

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: None

(A/N This has been on my mind ever since ‘The Greatest Showman’ came out, can’t believe I didn’t write it sooner)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Dad! Mum! Dad!” 

A hoard of John’s children came bursting through the front door, startling the Shelby family that had managed to sit down together for a meal, a rare occasion; the kids had been told to play outside and ‘let the adults talk’ though it seemed that they hadn’t taken much notice.

“What’s all the yelling for?” John shouted over his kids as they crowded around him, all of them speaking at once.

The rest of the Shelby’s looked on, wondering what had got them all so excited. At first they had been startled, worried that something was wrong until they saw their beaming smiles, now tugging on whatever limb they could grab.

The eldest spoke up, gaining control over their younger siblings.“Dad, the circus has come here! There’s going to be a show with horses and acrobats and clowns and-”

“Why on Earth has the circus come to Small Heath?”

“Can we please go? Please?”

They all started to chime in, repeating the well mannered word. Everyone started to laugh as they saw the panic in John’s eyes, even Esme couldn’t help herself until two of her children started tp plead towards her.

“You know the circus could be fun, have a proper family outing?” Ada piped up, smiling as she cuddled Karl in her arms.

“The Shelby’s going to the circus? Never heard anything more ridiculous in my life.” Arthur scoffed with a smirk.

“We can’t deny them of the circus, it may never come again.” 

“Well I think it’s a good idea too, might keep them happy for a while. We should all go, like Ada said, be a proper family.”

John sighed.“When is this circus performing then?”

“Not tomorrow night, but the one after.” the child said.

“In two days time? No, we can’t go.”

“Let us guess, does have something to do with business?” Polly snapped, already fed up with her nephew’s excuse.

“Course Polly. But you can still go.” Tommy said as he lit a cigarette.

“It won’t be the same.”

“We can’t pass this offer Polly. Tell you what, Finn and some of the younger boys will go with you.”

Finn, who had been leaning against a wall and observing the conversation at this point, suddenly realised that he had been dragged into the mess. His jaw dropped at the idea of chaperoning his nieces and nephews and the ladies to a circus; he would be the laugh of the town when people found out.

“What?! No, I’m supposed to be going with you lot that night.” Finn protested.

“Don’t worry Finn, you’re not missing out on much. You’re gonna take the family down to the circus and look after them, be the man of the household for once.” Tommy calmly said back, knowing that he would win the argument.

“But that’s not fair! Just cause I’m the youngest-”

“Please uncle Finn! Please come with us!” The kids whined again, guilt tripping their uncle this time.

Finn looked to his family members for any help but received none. The kids crowded round his legs, still repeating their pleas, they weren’t going to give up easily. Saying no to the adults was easy, but to the kids, that was just plain cruel. The young man groaned before letting out a loud sigh.

“Fine, I’ll go with you. But Isaiah and Michael have to come too!”

Over the next two days, all the kids could talk about was the circus. It was driving everyone mad, though no one showed this, knowing that they had never seen anything like this before. Finn was the most annoyed, making a show of how irritating it was to be the youngest Shelby; he should be helping with the business, not watching the circus with a bunch of kids. 

“I can’t believe you dragged us here, couldn’t you have just taken one for the team?” Isaiah huffed as they walked behind the women and children to the circus.

“Waste of my time, I was supposed to be at that meeting too you know.” Michael grumbled.

“Would you stop complaining? The sooner we get there, the sooner it will be over.”

Crowds of people were entering the ginormous circus tent, the traditional red and white stripes adorning the place. The rich smell of sawdust filled everyone’s nostrils as they found their seats; front and centre, only the best for the Shelby’s. The spectators excited chatter filled the huge room, wondering what curiosities they would be amazed with. Nothing this big had happened to their town in ages, or something happy at least. 

Finn glanced around the place, only seeing families filled with young children, no young men like him. His shoulders slumped as he leaned his arms on his knees, embarrassment filling him. Just as he thought about escaping, the lights dimmed, the music already starting. He sighed, settling back in his seat; might as well try to enjoy it.

At first, the young Blinders had slouched postures and frowns on their faces, humiliated that they were with kids at a circus. However, their attitudes quickly changed as the performers emerged, their minds trying to keep up with everything that was going on. Beneath their tough exterior, they were still young, they could still enjoy these things, though no one needed to know. They joined in with the cheers, the clapping and the many laughs, a very rare sight to see.

The ring master appeared again as the foolish clowns tumbled off, announcing his next act. The lights dimmed as he made his way to the middle of the arena, the dramatic music softening. For the first time that night, the audience were silent, drawn in by the sudden change in atmosphere.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the ring masters voice was quieter than before,“prepare to be dazzled and enchanted by our own, Dancing Dove.”

That’s all that was said before he left again, a single spotlight still shining in the middle of the ring. Hushed whispers filled the silence until the small band started to play a classical piece. Eyes were trained on the ring as they finally spotted her. Like an angel descending from heaven, a young woman was sat in a hoop attached to a string, her body bending in peculiar ways as she reached the ground. She would effortlessly swing around, the height of the hoop changing every few minutes, looking graceful as she performed. The audience were in awe, stunned by how someone so petite could have so much strength.

Finn’s jaw dropped in awe. He had never seen anything like this before. Something was drawing her to him. Perhaps it was because she wasn’t like any other girl he had seen before; she was part of the circus, that was every child’s dream! He wanted to now how she joined them, why she did, how did she learn all of these tricks she so effortlessly showed off. Finn was intrigued, his mind racing at the endless questions he could ask her. 

Her feet planted firmly on the ground before the hoop ascended again. The audience cheered loudly, an earned round of applause following; however, that was not the end of her act. A single piece of rope replaced the hoop, which she wrapped around one hand before she flew into the air. Gasps and shrieks added to the music as she flew around the room, smiling down at everyone below her. Finn could have sworn that she looked at him, pushing the doubts out of his thoughts.

Her act was over way too quickly for him, but he didn’t hesitate to give her a standing ovation. Luckily, he was not alone in this, as the whole audience roared in applause. She took her bow, smiling as she had throughout her performance, waving once again as she left the ring.

Finn found himself in a slight daze after that. He couldn’t properly focus on the acts, the ‘Dancing Dove’ still fresh on his mind. The way the lights followed her made her even more dazzling, the music adding to her grace. As the clowns came out once again, he slipped away unnoticed, needing a smoke to clear his mind. He walked around the big top as he smoked, making sure not to stray too close to the acts’ caravans, assuming that there would be some sort of muscle to keep people out. 

“Not enjoying the show?” a heavenly voice called out.

Finn whipped around, almost dropping his cigarette as he laid eyes on the trapeze artist. She was wrapped in a robe, smiling as she approached him.

“Oh, uh, n-no, I mean yes! I am, I just needed some fresh air.” He stumbled over his words, amazed by her beauty.

She giggled, it was music to his ears.“Getting fresh air by smoking?”

He immediately threw the cigarette away, taking off his cap out of respect.“You were amazing in there. I’ve never seen anything like that, it was just...”

“Amazing? Well thank you very much. Don’t get a lot of people my age coming to see me.”

Finn started to blush, feeling embarrassed.“I’m here with my family, I’m sure my nieces and nephews won’t stop talking about it for weeks.”

“That’s very sweet of you. Uh, can I ask a sort of personal question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Are you a Peaky Blinder?”

His eyes widened, wondering how she knew.

“I saw the caps, your razors glisten in the lights.” It was as if she read his mind.

“Yeah, I am.” He was expecting her to run away at any minute.“I can go if you want-”

“No, don’t go! Everyone has been raving on about you guys, said you paid top money to get those seats. And all the other exciting underground work you do.”

“Woah, I’m surprised you guys know us.” 

“I think you’re more famous than you think.”

“More famous than the circus?”

They both laughed.“Perhaps not. I never asked your name.”

“Finn Shelby. I know your stage name, but...”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).” She stuck out her hand and they shook.

“That’s an odd name.”

“I made it up. Only family I ever had was the circus.”

“It must be so thrilling to work here.”

“It has it’s ups and downs, you know, everything is an act.”

“Everything?”

She smirked.“Everyone’s got an act.”

He smiled back, his heart racing as he looked over her features again. Her hair and makeup were still done from the show, though a slight layer of sweat covered her forehead, though he didn’t care. She looked beautiful to him.

“Will you be in Small Heath for long?”

“We’re here for a few days before we leave again.”

“When will you come back?”

She shook her head slightly.“Who knows? The circus doesn’t really follow a schedule.”

“Perhaps...perhaps you’d like to do something tomorrow?”

“Something? Hm, sounds intriguing. I’ll sleep on it.” She started to walk away, teasing him that bit longer.

“What if I come here tomorrow morning? Have a plan by then?”

She stopped, suddenly approaching Finn again.“Don’t worry about a plan, like I said, we don’t follow those.” She reached up to kiss his cheek, relishing in the sight of him blushing.“See you tomorrow, Finn Shelby of the Peaky Blinders!”

#finn shelby #finn shelby imagine #finn shelby x reader #finn shelby one shot #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders one shot #peaky blinders x reader

[silverhands-etcetera]

On The Road, Again.

Oh my, it’s been some time, hasn't it? There ain’t a lot of words I can think of to express the change and the loss and the perspective that has come into play since the last time I took to writing my days down on these pages. Perhaps in due time we’ll get around to telling all of the stories, if I can manage to get them out -a few of the tales bring water to my eyes, so maybe it’s good that the medium I work in here is just words, consumed long after they are brought to bear.

Whoa, that got dramatic…

Get this- we’re on tour. I’m in a plane, way up over Saskatchewan. Currently, My parents are in Virginia, my brothers are in their homes, Esme is in Rock Island & BJ is up there in the upper Mississippi valley, Joy & Tom are just above Greenlake, Jack is in Bellevue, Lucien is in Kirkland playing guitar, Ethan is in Nashville, Julian is mixing your next favorite record, and Aimee, Sherri & Michael are a few rows behind me in this huge metal tube up in the sky.

But it wasn’t supposed to be this way - all of us on a direct flight in the same plane, that is. I bought a ticket that sent me through Salt Lake City, entirely on the basis of economy. That was a couple months ago. A whole lot has transpired since then, on the road to me sitting in 23B, and pecking out this story.

This trip has been in the works for some time. Back when we were young & idealistic & slightly more foolish than I am right now.(I am aware that I changed our pronoun in mid sentence there, but it seems more correct that way.) I only jest a little about my altered level of foolishness. I know it’s a bit of a cliche, but sometimes there are events that open your eyes to how things really are, the people who glue your world together, and the people we hold esteem for without any real reason except for the ideas in our own heads. I’ve spent a lot of my life making space for, and forgiving the acts of one particular person. I wish it wasn’t so, but sometimes it takes a full-on tragedy to open the eyes of a fool such as I. I’m not gonna get into that right now, but I’m in a space where there is no grey area. I am heavy on regrets & light on shame or burdens.

I ain’t taken a band on the road for a couple years now. I have walked a many hundreds of miles in Spain in my last couple visits, but haven’t played a proper gig on the european continent since the (pre-election) 2016 tour. And my travel writing has dropped off too. Last spring, I thought I was in bad shape. I was nursing a broken heart, for sure. Since then I have lost my most noble role model, my strongest mentor, and the Dog who straight-up saved my life when I couldn’t find my identity or purpose. So yeah, a few things have changed. Anybody who knew Manolo, Steve or Faron would readily understand how the world is different without them in it. I’ve learned a lot from the choices they made, and the self-righteous acts of those who would take their choices away from them. I wish there was a way I could have learned the lesson without all the grief, but we all know that real lessons don’t come cheap.

As always, I digress. -

I think it was around February this year, I was talking to Alwin about bringing Silverhands back to Germany. We were talking about a gig in Erkelenz. I’d been rethinking what my band meant. Trying to get the songs to return to their essence, so to speak. Along the way, if I could step up my guitar playing that’d be pretty cool too… so Silverhands is a 3-piece band now. Just Aimee on the drums & Sherri on the bass, and most dramatically different- just me on guitar. We work really hard on letting the songs breathe and just exist. Many times in the past I have felt the joy of being pulled along by the songs and the people playing them. It’s a beautiful thing to hear a little sonic progeny of your very own sitting up and telling you how the ride is gonna go. Showing you that it has a voice of its own & there ain’t nothing you can do about it. Kinda how I imagine it’s like to have grown children. But songs ain’t children, and they are never too old for me to put over my knee & change their attitude when I see fit.

This stage in the life of my band is where I chill the hell out & try to assess where the songs are, and to potentially cull anything that doesn’t stand up on it’s own. I’ve been blessed with some inspired lead players -folks who can slip deeper melodic passages between the & and the 1 than I often manage to fortify an entire verse with. The beauty of this is that I can show up to any gig, hack out three chords and an occasional minor VI, and somebody is gonna turn it into music. Right now I’m trying to make sure I’m holding up my end of the bargain, and hoping to inform any future songwriting with a deeper level of independence from flourish. Clapton did a good job with JJ Cale songs, but they were all better when they were just JJ Cale songs.

I play with a few bands. Silverhands doesn’t even get the bulk of my time. I am lucky enough to play gigs with lots of varied folks playing all kinds of stuff, but I’m only IN just a couple of bands -I still get to play drums for the Joy Mills band, I play prog-funk & straight-up hardcore bluegrass on the bass fiddle with Supernatal & Darlin’ Do, respectively, and I rock the shit out of the electric Bass with Del Vox (if I might say so myself).

All y’all know that Del Vox is Sherri Jerome. And Sherri Jerome is Del Vox. I loooove these songs. There’s a lot of challenge in them, and consequently, there is much reward in playing with this batch of people.

It so happened that Sherri & I were both considering tour booking around the same time. Our bands’ unique personnel situations allowed us an opportunity to benefit from the usually mundane and costly logistics of travel. We booked each band on its own short run of dates, in mostly the same circuit of venues, back-to-back from the middle of September to the middle of October. Both bands are hitting some familiar haunts & some fresh new cities. (I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been to Temse) (I actually have very few retrievable memories of belgium in general, but I’m pretty sure it’s always a good time)

As the tours started coming together, we began the long process of planning, preparing, refining our concepts, & ultimately packing our bags. I spent a lot of time deferring the literal act of packing, as well as much of the intangible act of “planning”, due to a hyper-busy summer into autumn -I have been playing a lot of bass gigs, stretching out on some country chops that I apparently grew up knowing, but never had the sense to use before now. I love learning new music & playing with new bands, but it takes up a big part of my brain, and ultimately all the clerical duties of being in a band tend to suffer for the sake of The Gig. I recognize that gigs are dependent on me being able to plan/book them, but when that big boulder gets rolling, sometimes you just do your best to stay in front of it.

So I bought a plane ticket awhile back, but really hadn’t put any thought into “planning” anything until Monday, and hadn’t considered “packing” until Tuesday morning. On Monday I realized that I had basically one pair of pants. And I was about to share a van with 3 people for a month. On Tuesday, newly outfitted, I realized I had no luggage that would fit all of the things I need to carry for this venture. Enter the Goodwill on 145th…

A giant, yet slim, tweed trunk, like the kind you'd expect to see on top of a stagecoach, goes home with me on Tuesday. I took the neck of my ’72 Geddy Lee Jazz bass & toss it in with about 20 plain black t-shirts and some socks. I am set.

I still had a gig to play on Tuesday night, so Jack loaned me his slick new blonde Jazz bass, which plays like 80 degree butter, and I went down to Conor’s to sew some pockets with Kelly Van Camp in Fredd’s new Tuesday-night project. My plan was to drink one beer & head home straight after the gig, but the North Star beckoned, and I was out till roughly 2:30, in bed by 3. It was a good night.

My eyes open around 9 AM on Wednesday. All I know is that I need to pick up the drummer at 1, and I need to get my second pair of pants in the laundry. I take a moment to consider falling back asleep, just playing guitar all morning, or any number of things more lovely than washing clothes & lugging suitcases. But we’ve got a job to do, and it starts with some cabbage & eggs. Just like every morning.

When I consider intangibles like “time” and “distance”, it always seems feasible that you could do all you need to do, clean up the dishes, take a nap, a walk in the park, entertain guests, and get a shine on your shoes all before 1pm. As it was, it was all I could do to meet up with the coffee crew up at the Herkimer before the headache started setting in. It was good to get a breather in what was going to be a very long day. Jackie & Aimee & I sat in the sun and moderated our respective awarenesses with warm beverages, warm sun and oxygen. Joy met us up at Graycie’s house, where we all piled in the van with our cases & bags and the remainder of an old flask that Aimee found in the back seat of my car. Let’s get this show on the road.

It was all we could do to find a table at the airport bar, another story altogether in getting any beverages brought to us. So after one round, I had to split to head to my gate & get on my two-part flight, while the rest of the band gets on the direct flight an hour later (remember, this was the story I was telling) but at my gate, there was no airplane. I expressed my concerns at the help desk in missing my connection, and the dear woman immediately rebooked me on the direct Seattle-Amsterdam flight. With the rest of my band.

A short train ride over to the international terminal, and now here I am. Or here we are, as it were.

Now that I’ve had my airline bottle of Dewar’s & a tiny chicken salad and fruit cup, we’re all up to speed -the only real variable being, will my old tweed trunk and the precious bass inside of it get to Amsterdam with me? But this is ultimately a question for the next episode, which starts roughly when the sun rises over Holland on Thursday morning.

-

At this point in the blog, we’ll find ourselves at the beginning of one story, chronologically, but also at the end, as things go on the page. Feel free to continue reading about my previous adventures, walking in Spain, and past tours way back to some bygone days.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary -Chapter 22

Warnings: smut

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @valkyrie-of-the-light, @innerpaperexpertcloud

Her flight arrives at eleven thirty in the evening, Belfast time. Tyler waits at the edge of the tarmac as the jet coasts to a stop; baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, clad in a pair of jeans, combat boots, and a simple white t-shirt under the flack jacket. Leaning against the driver’s side door of a newly rented SUV, hands stuffed in his pockets, biding his time as the pilot begins the final steps before passengers can begin to deboard. A slight rain falls: the pavement slick beneath the soles of his boot as he makes his way towards the jet; the stairs finally being lowered and the door being tossed open by a steward.

He smiles when he sees her, giving a small wave in greeting as he approaches. There’s a lap top bag over her right shoulder, a large -and jammed packed- knapsack over the left, and she wears a simple pair of leggings, a beat-up pair of sneakers and one of his hoodies. The sweater impossibly big on her; falling well below the knees, sleeves rolled up several times. But it’s the hair that he notices. The unexpected change in colour. Gone is her normal chestnut tresses, replaced by a rich mahogany that shines purple under the lights that surrounded the tarmac and small hanger. In all the time that they’ve been together, her appearance has seldom changed; aside from weight put on during her pregnancies and the several inches chopped from her hair. And while stunned by her transformation; he finds he actually likes it.

It’s intriguing. Alluring. Sexy.

“Hey,” he greets from the bottom of the stairs, holding out his hand to assist her the rest of the way.

“Hey,” she cheerfully returns, her feet on the third step when she curls her arms around his neck; his own wrapping around her willowy body, effortlessly lifting her off her feet, chuckling when her legs encircle his waist.

He’s smiling when she pulls away just long enough to remove his ball cap, turning it backwards before placing it back onto his head.

“That’s better,” she declares, and kisses him. Long and slow. That sweet, welcoming kiss that comes with a reunion. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been apart, days, weeks, months. That first kiss is always the best one.  

“I missed you.” Tyler says, as he presses his lips to her temple and tightens his hold on her. Eyes closing as he breathes in the familiar yet still intoxicating scent of her body spray.  All the tension, stress, and worry soothed by the warmth that radiates from her body. It’s only been two days, yet it’s felt like a lifetime.

She holds his face in her hands, kissing him once more. “I missed you too.”

His palms briefly glide over her ass as he places her on the ground, then turns his hat back around the proper way and accepts a second backpack from the steward.

“How was the flight?” he asks, as he unloads of the other two bags as well, slinging all three over his shoulders, then placing a protective arm around her as he escorts her to the waiting SUV.

Nik has gone to a lot of trouble. The first rental vehicles being exchanged for replacements under different names. A new hotel on the outskirts of the city. Even new SAT phones: fears that the others have been compromised and calls and texts being recorded or traced. All new numbers, their actual physical whereabouts being kept secret. Nik being the only one with knowledge of where they actually are.  

“Long,” she replies, her arm across his lower back, hand just inside the back pocket of his jeans.  “But travelling on a Gulf Stream made it so much easier to cope with. I love Yaz and he’s a great pilot, but he doesn’t have one of those,” she jerks a thumb over her shoulder towards the sleek, modern aircraft. “How does Nik know this guy?”

“She said she did some work for him. That he owes her. Maybe they’re actually hooking up. He gives her the jet in exchange for good p…”

Esme frowns. “Isn’t he an old man?”

“So? Maybe he’s a sugar daddy. You know, Nik. She doesn’t want to settle down. Or commit to anything. An arrangement like that would be perfect for her.  He lends her his toys; she gets to be his toy.”

She snorts.

“How were the kids when you left?”

“Fine. They dealt with a lot better than I thought they would. I think they like the idea that we’re together. Maybe they think that means I’ll keep you out of trouble. It makes it easier to have Ovi there with him. They adore him. And Chloe. Not to mention they are over the moon that grandma came to visit for a while.”

“I’m surprised. That she was even willing to do it.”

“Well, with Sarge out of the house, she’s lonely. Maybe she’s trying to turn over a new leaf. I notice she’s been better with you. Since you went over there to see her. Whatever you said must have struck a nerve.”

“We had a good talk. Cleared the air,” he loads her things into the backseat of the SUV, then pauses before he opens her door. Reaching out to run a hand over her hair, letting smooth, silky strands slip through his fingers.  “What’s up with this?”

“You hate it. Don’t you.  Nik wanted to just go with a wig, but you could tell it was fake. So I thought, why not? It’s only hair.”

“Actually, I like it. Never thought I’d see you as a redhead. It’s different. But sexy.”

“It just gets better…” she reaches into one of the pockets on the hoodie and pulls out a pair of dark framed eyeglasses; fake lenses, but real enough looking to pull off whatever ruse Nik has cooked up. “What do you think?” she slips them into her face. “Are they me?”

“You look like a sexy librarian.”

“You have a fetish with librarians? We’ve been married for five years and I’m just finding this out now? Was there a sexy librarian in your past you lusted over?”

“Math teacher, actually. We can pretend you’re a math teacher if you want.”

“Math doesn’t scream sexy to me. Neither does librarian. I was thinking more…I don’t know…” she lowers the glasses onto the bridge of her nose and peers at him over the top of the rims.  “…private tutor…”

“Yeah…” he grins, and lays his hands on her hips, using his weight to back her up against the car. “…I don’t think there’s anything you could teach me that I don’t already know. You can try if you want, though. I’ll take one for the team.”

“Such a hard life you have,” she dramatically sighs. “How do you ever cope with being so selfless? What a burden to have to carry. Maybe I can actually be a sexy therapist and you can lie down and confess all your troubles to me. I bet there’s ways I can make you feel better.”

He smirks. “I bet there are,” his hands slide over her hips and around to the small of her back, mouth covering hers in a deep passionate kiss just as his fingers press roughly into her ass and pull her tight against him.

A sensual, lustful moment, hidden from the outside world by the looming shadow cast by the aircraft hanger.  Her lips taste like strawberries, the hint of the same when the tip of his tongue briefly brushes against hers. It’s more than want; it’s the relief of having her that close again, the lift of the stress and the worry that had been plaguing him since asking for her help, the gratitude that she’d even agreed.

There is so much to lose. The risk far greater than the reward. And he’s desperate to keep her close; to feel her lips against his, their bodies pressed together, all of his senses filled with her scent, her taste, the sound of her soft sigh when he leans into her and pins her against the car.

“Mmm…” there’s a smile on her lips as she pulls away, eyes closed as he presses his forehead against hers. “…that was…nice…”

“I missed you,” he says, as he lays a hand on her cheek, thumb softly brushing over the orbital bone before drifting across and down the entire length of her jaw.

“I can tell,” she grins, and brushes a palm against the obvious beginning of his erection.

“Not just that. Although that’s pretty fucking amazing. It always has been. But I missed you. I missed us. I just got back home. I thought we’d have more time than we did. And I’m sorry for that. For all of this.”

She turns her face into the hand resting against her cheek, pressing a kiss to his palm.  “It is what it is, Tyler. This is your life.”

“No. It’s not. You’re my life.”

There’s a sadness to her smile. But also peaceful resignation. “I long ago realized that I was number two.  And I’m not saying that to hurt you. I’m saying that I accept it. I accept who are you. I accept what you are. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I never would have called you that night when we were separated. I would have just cut you loose. But I couldn’t. I’ve never been able to. I should have walked away. That first night in Dhaka. But I didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t have let you. I would have chased you down. I would have followed you wherever you went. I would have found you.”

“And maybe people will say that’s your weakness. Me. And maybe they’ll say it’s an obsession. An addiction. That we can’t ever walk away.  That it’s unhealthy.  I even think it sometimes. The way we fight. The way we’re ready to rip each other apart in the worst possible way and then in the best possible way in the blink of an eye. But I love you. More than you could ever realize. And I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Part of him says that the words she’s just spoken should break his heart. That he’s failed in some way, putting the job before her and not concentrating enough on their marriage or their family. Yet the other part of him is relieved. The things she’d said bringing about his own sense of peace. Completeness, even. For years he’d wondered just where he stood, in the shaky balance between mercenary and family man. He’s struggled to keep them separated. And her words have reassured him that he can be both.  She accepts it. Her love and loyalty her own blessing and curse.

He takes her face in both his hands, pressing a kiss to her mouth and then to her forehead. Lips lingering there, eyes closed, feeling her hands come up to cover his.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says. “Thank you.”

One of her hands moves to the back of his neck, then slides up into his hair. Nails scraping against his scalp where the shorn areas are, pressing into the skin before her fingers move up to comb through the longer strands. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” she says.

And means it.

*****

It’s quarter past midnight when they reach the hotel; she’d dozed in the car, lulled to sleep by the soft pattering of the rain against the windows, the rhythmic sound of the windshield wipers, and the safety and security that being reunited with him has given her.  And when he kills the ignition in the underground parking garage, he reaches over to smooth her hair away from her face, looping pieces behind her ears and the leaning in to softly kiss her awake.  Grinning at the content, dreamy smile that slowly spreads across her face.

“We’re here,” he says.

“Okay,” she yawns, and the wraps both arms around his neck and pulls him into her; her mouth devouring his as one hand rips off the ballcap and tosses it aside.

Her tongue aggressively pushes its way into his mouth, his palms cradling her face as he kisses her back with equal…if not more… fervor. It’s been like this for five years; an insatiable hunger, an almost overwhelming sexual attraction. Lust often overpowering love.  A honeymoon stage that has far outlasted what either of them had ever expected. By now most couples have fallen into a routine; the stress of raising a family and the often mundane rituals of domesticity putting a damper on the sexual aspects of things. But they’d found it’s only been heightened. As if the bond they share as spouses, confidants, and best friends is only strengthened because they make such great lovers.

“You’re trouble,” Tyler grins, and has to peel her arms away from his neck. “You were trouble five years ago and you’re trouble now.”

“The best kind of trouble,” she declares, and he can’t help but agree.

The underground lot is dimly lit; damp, smelling like mould, gasoline and exhaust fumes. There’s many hidden spots and dark areas where an unknown threat can linger, and as he carries his bags on his shoulders, he keeps a protective hand on the small of her back, a small amount of pressure keeping her walking half a step in front of him.  His eyes constantly searching; scanning those dark shadowy places where someone could hide, glancing at vehicles to see if any passengers suspiciously remain inside, checking over his shoulder to make sure that they aren’t being followed.

It was a risk going to the airport to pick her up. Even with a new rental under a fake name. If anyone was watching the hotel and had seen him leave, it would have been easy for them to follow him and then spot them together. Ruining any chance of using Esme as their ‘inside person’.  And putting an even bigger target on her back.  But there is also no guarantee that she hasn’t already been made the same way he and Yaz had been; word getting back to those responsible before she even stepped foot on the plane in Colorado. Which in turn made her travelling to the hotel alone just as dangerous, if not even more.

She breathes a visible sigh of relief when the reach the elevators. “That was a little freaky,” she says, and nervously bounces up and down on her heels as he hits the up button.  Five years ago, she’d been confidant. Fearless, even. But so much as changed since then. Good and bad.

“Everything’s fine,” he assures her, and lays a hand on the back of her neck, lightly massaging the tense muscles. “Just breathe. We’re almost there.”

He practically pushes her into the elevator when it arrives, dropping the bags on the ground and hitting the button for their floor. His own sigh of relief about to escape when he hears the door leading to the garage open, followed by three boisterous voices. Two males and a female.

“Fuck me,” he mutters, and then uses his foot to move the bags to the very back of the lift. A hand wrapping around Esme’s upper arm and pulling her tight against him just as the newcomers manage to slip through the doors before they close.  

The scent of alcohol practically oozes from their pores, their voices loud and obnoxious, the female’s shrill laugh piercing, especially in such small confines. But the three strangers all give a polite nod in greet, then turn to face the front of the elevator.  Tyler’s hand moves from her upper arm to her side, drawing her even closer. And he feels the way she relaxes against him. Comforted by his smell and the warmth he provides and the pure solid mass of his body.  He looks down at her, giving her a reassuring smile, and drops a kiss on the top of her head.

Esme’s eyes are riveted on the numbers that light up above the door, but she can’t help but smirk when the female grabs a hold of one of the males and kissing him passionately, causing him to stumble backwards and collide with the side wall.

“Newlyweds,” the friends says to them, and rolls his eyes. “You guys too?” he nods down at the wedding band that Tyler sports.

“Yeah,” he answers. “We’re here on our honeymoon too.”  The lie rolls easily off the tongue. Years ago, it became second nature; either telling small snippets of the truth or none of it at all. Whatever takes away any hint of suspicion.

“Australian, huh?” the young man observes. “I hear you guys have killer beaches and surfing.”

Tyler nods.

“I’d love to go there sometime,” he says, and then turns back around to face the door.

Esme’s watching the young couple against the wall, amused by the drunken make out session. But then suddenly her body tenses once again, a frown on her face as she steps in front of Tyler, placing her hands on his sides. At first he wonders if she’s playing up the whole being on the honeymoon lie, her nose against his chest, her hands sliding along his rib cage, then up onto his lats and back down again. Until her hand stops on the Glock holstered to his right hip.

He drops his head, nuzzling her ear with his nose before pressing a kiss to her ear. “What’s going on?” he whispers.

She lifts her head, their lips mere millimeters apart. “He’s carrying.  Left hip. Looks like a Sig Sauer. It has a magazine in it.”

He just nods, then places a hand on the back of her head and kisses her. More of a comforting action than a lustful one. Feeling the way her hands tightly grip the front of his jacket.  And he keeps her there, tucked securely into his chest with one hand on the small of her back and the other resting on the Glock.

The floors seem to pass by at a snail’s pace; he can feel her heart hammering against him. “Just calm down,” he whispers, lips against her temple. “Everything’s fine.”

The three strangers are staying a floor below them, and when the elevator finally grounds to a halt and the doors open, Tyler can feel her entire body relax.  And he gives a polite nod when the younger man and the couple wish them a good night and an even better honeymoon.

“What the fuck was that?” Esme breathes a sigh of relief when the doors close.

“Nothing. They’re just drunk and obnoxious. You need to bring it down a notch. Why are you so on edge?”

“Oh I don’t know, Tyler. Maybe because I just left the safety and security of my own home to help you go up against the IRA. I’m sorry if that’s a little…upsetting.”

“None of this is going to work if you freak out about every little thing,” he says. “You need to just relax and breathe.”

“He had a gun.”

“I have a gun.”

“You have a reason to.”

“And maybe he did too. Maybe he’s a cop. Maybe he’s private security. Maybe he just has a permit to conceal carry. Just try and relax, love. Just a bit. I know it’s been a long time since you’ve done this sort of thing, but I’m not a rookie. Nothing is going to happen to you. Did anything happen to you five years ago? In Dhaka?”

“Well not for the first five days, no.”

He frowns.

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Things going to shit after that was definitely not your fault.”

“Did I not keep you alive? The first five days and the two after it?”

She nods.

“Then calm the fuck down,” he implores. “You’re safe. I got you.”

She smiles, then stands on her tip toes and presses a kiss to the underside of his chin. “So, newlyweds, huh? Five years is a long ass newlywed stage.”

“Sometimes it feels like five days,” he admits.  “And other times it feels like fifty. Years.”

“You are such a dick,” she laughs, and his hands slide down to grab a hold of her ass. “Maybe we can be newlyweds again. You know, just for tonight?”

“Just tonight?”

“I don’t know how much you have left in you,” she teases. “One night might be all I get out of you. You’re getting older and your stamina might be starting to go.”

He grins. “Is that a challenge?’

She cocks her head to the side. “Maybe…”

“Well in that case,” his fingers bite into her ass. “Consider that a challenge accepted.”

****

She doesn’t even flinch when the back of her collides with the solid wood of the hotel room door; their mouths locked in a savage, merciless kiss as unrepentant hands yank and tear at clothing. His much larger and stronger body pinning her in place; his fingers hooking in in the waistband of her leggings and yanking them down over her ass and her hips, allowing them to pool at her ankles.

“Really?” he smirks, when he discovers missing undergarments.  “You had to make things that easy for me?”

“I knew it would be late when we got back,” her hands push the jacket off of his shoulders, falling to his wrists before he tosses it aside. “I figured you’d be all out of patience. I thought I’d cut you some slack.”

“You know I like to work for it,” he says, and then his mouth is on her neck, her head falling back as his warm, moist lips sucks harshly at her pale skin, marking her as his. Teeth grazing against the hallow of her throat, his beard scratching her tender flesh.  Large hands pulling off the hoodie and flinging it aside, palms drifting up the back of the t-shirt. Nimble, experienced fingers finding her nipples, lightly pinching and twist as his mouth once more makes it way back up to hers. Pulling her bottom lip between his teeth, biting down with enough force to cause her to give a sharp yelp, his tongue pushing its way into her mouth.

Her hands yank his t-shirt up his torso, intentionally dragging her nails along his skin, leaving bright red tracks in their wake.  Her touch needy and aggressive as she explores his wide shoulders and beautifully muscled back, their kiss only breaking when he pulls back long enough to remove his shirt and add it to the pile of clothes. Desire pools between her legs just at the way he looks at her; a hand on the side of her face as his eyes lock on hers. Intense. Hungry. Burrowing to her very soul.  And she reaches for his belt buckle, only for him to grab her by the wrists.

“No,” he says, and forces her arms down to her sides.

She opens her mouth to protest, but he’s dropping to his knees in front of her, his eyes locked on her as his palms push her thighs apart, fingers digging into the soft flesh, a cry escaping her mouth when he places his tongue flat against her pussy, licking a wide strip all the way from the juncture between her legs to the top of her pubic bone. Two fingers pushing the swollen, moist lips open and his mouth zeroing in on her clit. Pulling it between his lips, grazing it with his teeth, her hands burying themselves in his hair.

“Jesus….Tyler…shit…fuck…” it’s all she can manage; mesmerized and even more turned on as she watches him eat her out. Fingers twisting at the longer strands of hair, pushing his face further into her. Head falling back and her hips moving on their own accord; grinding against his tongue with every lick, suck, and nibble that he unleashes on her. A litany of profanities, encouragement, and his name tumbling from her mouth.

One hand grabs a hold of her left leg, fingers pressing deep as he places it over his shoulder. The new position making it possible for his tongue to delve even further inside of her.  Thrusting it in and out, mimicking the movement of a cock, before turning his attention back to his clit and slipping three fingers inside of her. No lead up; just those three long digits being forced as far as they can possibly go. Before one hooks forward and finds that spot that she always thought was a myth.  And he presses, hard, as he takes her clit into her mouth at the same time.

She comes undone. Throwing her head back against the door. Screaming his name. Those hands painfully yanking at his hair.  And he continues his ministrations throughout the entire orgasm, moving those fingers at a slow and steady pace, the tip of his tongue now circling her clit. And the sensation is just too much; tears spilling down her face as attempts to push him away. It’s all too much. Too soon.

He backs off; his fingers slipping out of her, pressing soft kisses to her fluttering stomach as his palms run up the backs of the calves and thighs. Travelling all the way to her hips. Feathery kisses being placed along her pubic bone before moving higher. Making a slow, agonizing journey all the way from her navel to her mouth. Thumbs tenderly brushing away her tears as he kisses her, letting her taste herself on his lips and his tongue.

She reaches for his belt and this time he allows it; eyes on her hands as she unbuckles it and then pops open the button and yanks down the zipper. A low growl forming in his throat as she slides her hand down the front of his boxers and those soft fingers close around his cock. His eyes closed and his forehead resting against hers as her hand works him; slow and lazy at first, then more aggressive. Until his own hips are bucking into her and he struggles to draw breath into his lungs.

“Enough,” he orders, and pushes her hands away once again. “I don’t want to come like that.”

“Well how do you want to do it?” she asks, and something in her voice just sets him off. Igniting that primal, animalistic need inside of him. Arms circling her waist and lifting her off her feet; mouth once more on hers as he uses his strength to hold her against the door. One hand planted firmly on the cool, smooth wood as the other reaches between them to guide his weeping, aching cock inside of her.

“Tyler…” it’s a long, drawn out sigh, her eyes closing at the sensation of that initial penetration. And when he pulls all the way out and pushes back inside with more force, her legs wrap around his waist and her fingernails dig into his shoulders.

He takes her hard and fast. Face buried in the crook of her neck; eyes closed. His palm still flat against the door, the other hand slipping between them so his fingers can find her clit.  Applying just enough pressure to cause her to cry out, then using two fingers to rub smooth, quick circles. Until her entire body is shuddering against him and she’s biting down on his shoulder with enough power to break the skin, her scream muffled by thick muscle. He chases his own orgasm, moving the hand from between them and roughly grasping her hip; hard enough to bruises as his thrust become erratic and sloppy. His face still buried in her neck, breathing ragged, a string of profanities and her name leaving his lips as he empties himself inside of her.  Legs trembling and weak. Praying they’ll hold him up.

She pulls his head up by the hair and kisses him. Her legs tightening around his waist. The heels of her feet digging into the small of his back as she holds him tightly inside of her. Until his own shuddering subsides and their breathing begins to return to normal.  And she giggles into his mouth as he effortlessly carries her across the room and drops her into the middle of the bed. Her legs still wrapped around him; his cock still buried inside of her.

It’s two thirty in the morning and they eat the junk food that she’d packed in her oversized purse. A box of strawberry frosted poptarts, mini Kit Kat bars, and cheese strings that she’d stolen from the kids’ stash in the pantry.  Lying side by side on their stomachs with their heads at the foot of the bed and their feet on the pillows, Tyler is just his boxers, Esme in his t-shirt.  The tv tuned in to a 24/7 news channel, but the volume on mute.

“Déjà vu,” she says, as she tears open the foil on a package of Pop Tarts.

He arches a quizzical eyebrow.

“We ate Pop Tarts in Dhaka too,” she explains, as she hands him one of the pastries. “The first night we…”

He grins. “I remember.”

“The room’s a lot nicer this time around,” she muses.

“The toilet actually flushes,” he says, and she laughs.

“What about the shower?” she inquires. “Can you actually stand under it?”

“I can,” he confirms with a chuckle. “And there’s even hot water.”

“Holy shit, we’re just living the rich life. Do we even get complimentary bar soap and fuzzy towels?”

“And bathrobes.”

“Do we really have to go home after this? I don’t even have a bathrobe at home.  At least I get one here.”

“I’ll steal one. Just for you.”

“Tyler Rake…” she gasps dramatically. “…you committing a devious offence? Never.”

He smirks.

“Did you call home?”

Tyler nods.

“The kids haven’t given grandma a mental breakdown yet?”

“Not yet. But she’s only been there twelve hours, so…”

“I give it three days. Before she’s hitting the bottle hard and weeping as she rocks in a corner.”

“Three days is generous. I had it at a day and a half.”

“That’s longer than it took you to lose your mind while trying to teach the boys how to pee standing up. And you’re supposed to be the patient one. See what I mean? About boys being the hard ones?”

“Bullshit. Millie is a hundred times harder than the two of them put together. Her attitude is enough to drive me to drink. And she’s only five.”

“I wonder where she gets that from. Her propensity for being an asshole.”

Tyler stares at her pointedly.

“Oh, excuse you! I don’t think so. You are a much bigger asshole than I am.”

“How you figure?”

“You have a resting asshole face. All the time. And you’re sarcastic and a total wise ass. Not to mention, you look intimidating. You’re all big muscles and huge shoulders and massive hands and feet. Not to mention you’re absurdly tall. What did your mother feed you when you were young?”

“It was all the vegemite,” he reasons. “And I am not intimidating.”

“Right!” she scoffs. “That’s why the pizza guy nearly wets himself if you answer the door.”

“He nearly wets himself because I told him I was going to tear him a new asshole for calling you hot. Not that you aren’t. You’re insanely hot. But when the twenty-year-old pizza delivery guy is going around town talking about how hot you are and calling you a MILF…”

“It’s actually quite flattering. That the yearlings think that about me. You should be flattered. You have a wife that the guys half your age want to bang.”

“It’s not flattering. It’s fucking disturbing.”

“So are the women at the grocery store that get all wet whenever they see you. But you don’t see me complaining about it. I just sit back and laugh at them and be like ‘stare all you want, bitch. He’s all mine’. You should find it flattering though…” she rolls over onto her back, hands on her stomach. “…I’ve given you four kids and I still have a fairly decent body.”

“Fairly decent? You have a fucking amazing body.”

“Aww baby…” she tousles his hair.  “…you’re so biased.”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t make it less true. And no, I do not find it flattering that the pizza boy wants to get in your pants. That’s like Ovi wanting to get in your pants.”

“That’s even worse. He’s practically my kid. Speaking of getting into someone’s pants…”

“Would you let me fuel up for fuck sakes? I can’t run on an empty tank.”

“I wasn’t talking about you! I think Ovi and Chloe have sealed the deal.”

“Yeah? What makes you think that?”

“I said I would do some laundry for him and I found an empty condom wrapped in a pair of his jeans.”

Tyler grins. “Atta boy.”

“I’m not ready for this. I can’t handle him growing up. Where’d the old Ovi go? The one who wet his pants because you scared him so badly?”

“It wasn’t me that made him wet his pants. He’d already pissed himself before I got to him. What was I supposed to do? Let him walk around like that? It was traumatizing enough. I didn’t want him completely embarrassing himself.”

“And people say you’re nothing but a savage hard ass. You’re a big man with an even bigger heart.”

He snorts.

“Right…right…don’t talk about the feels. Tyler doesn’t like to talk about the feels. It emasculates him. Why do you have to be such an alpha male?”

“Because I am. Because that’s what made you fall in love with me.”

“No…no…” she disagrees. “I’m pretty sure it was the eyes and the voice. The muscles played a part too. A big part.”

“Stop objectifying me,” he chides. “I have feelings. I’m not just some piece of meat.”

“Oh yes. Yes you are. Sorry to say. But the best part is the fact that you’re not just any piece of meat. You’re my piece of meat. You’re my trophy husband.”

“That doesn’t work. I’d have to be younger than you. I’m five years older. So technically, you’re my trophy wife.”

“What contest in hell did you win to get that kind of trophy?”

“Whatever it was, it must have been very, very bad,” he teases, as he uses the remote to flick of the tv and tosses it onto the dresser. “Because…” he settles on his side beside her, a hand resting on her stomach. “…I am definitely being punished.”

“You’re such a dick sometimes, I swear.”

He presses a kiss to her temple. “You like my dick.”

Esme grins. “Okay, I’ll give you that one.”

He moves further down the bed, wrapping both arms around her lower back and then resting his head against her stomach. Letting loose a small yet content sigh when she commences playing with his hair. This is a side of him that no one else got to see. When he is tender and sweet. Needy.  He’d long ago found that level of comfort with her. Able to let his guard down completely and just be…human.

“Tired?” she asks, pushing his hair off his forehead, fingertips brushing against his brow. Tips pressing into the top of his nose, gently massaging.

He nods, yawning against her stomach and closing his eyes as her fingers trace the scar across the bridge of his nose and then one that runs vertically down the left side of his forehead.

“Maybe you’ll be able to sleep now. Now that I’m here. I promise I won’t wake you up three times a night. No matter how horny I am. I’ll take pity on you.”

“You don’t have to go overboard now. You can wake me up as many times as you want. Just give me like half an hour. Then I’ll be good to go.”

“I give it ten minutes and you’ll be out like a light. Snoring like crazy.”

“I don’t snore.”

“Sure you don’t.” She lays her palm against his forehead, just letting the weight and the warmth of her hand soothe him. “Tyler?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Smiling against her stomach, he tightens his hold on her. “I love you too.”

He’s asleep in minutes.

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