#and compared them to social relationships | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starrymothastrology · 2 days

Text

Lilith: The Signs

This is one of various posts I will be sharing about Lilith signs.

The Black Moon Lilith sign (aka dark moon sign) represents a dark primal feminine energy of rebellion, independence and hidden desires buried within the subconscious, as well as hidden fears and potential challenges. Knowing your Lilith helps with growth via self-awareness, guiding you through a deep level of the psyche and subconscious. Your Lilith can be found in your natal chart (as long as you know your birth date, time and place).

Lilith in Aries: Being bold, confident, assertive, talented and unafraid to break the rules, you have a knack for taking decisive action, but you also have a tendency to become overly-competitive. To heal your Lilith, you must focus on loving and embracing yourself as you are, including your flaws and vulnerabilities.

Lilith in Taurus: You have a strong affinity for luxuries and treating yourself whenever possible, which also drives you to work hard so you can provide yourself with these luxuries; you see it, you like it, you want it, you got it. However, your love for self-pampering has roots in a hesitation to rely on others, which also causes you to keep your guard up at all times. The key to healing your Lilith is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and soften in the presence of others, let your guard down every once in a while.

Lilith in Gemini: You have a very lively and charming energy, especially in terms of love and communication. There's a constant thirst for intellectual stimulation, and you can adapt your communication skills to just about any social situation. However, your charm and wit is sometimes used as a barrier to prevent getting emotionally involved, and it hinders your ability to form deep emotional connections. It is important to heal through acknowledging the pattern and finding the authenticity in your communications and relationships.

Lilith in Cancer: You have heightened emotional sensitivity and deep intuition; you're highly empathetic. However, you have a tendency to over-give in relationships and avoid confrontation by using your emotional energy unproductively. To heal your Lilith, it is important to learn to assert your worth, set boundaries and communicate issues directly without resorting to passive-aggressiveness.

Lilith in Leo: You have an abundance of confidence and power, and shine as bright as the sun itself. However, with your Lilith in this sign, you may have found yourself in relationships that made you feel small and/or were jealous of your strength. Due to this, you may find yourself too caught up in yourself to share love out of fear you will lose control. Healing will take finding friends and relationships that will not try to dim your light, and even try to shine with you.

Lilith in Virgo: You have a strong sense for control, order and perfection, and exude discipline and organization (which you've obtained through hard work). However, you may find yourself to be overly-critical from a fear of not being accepted, and that critical nature can affect not only your own mental health, but relationships with partners. You must remember that love is not perfect, and that it's okay for not everything to be perfect. You cannot control everything, so if it isn't something you can control, then try to relax.

Lilith in Libra: You have a craving for harmony and balance, but often fall to temptation. You have an allure to you that brings opportunities and relationships right to you, and people admire your success. Despite the admiration, though, you may find yourself comparing yourself to others a lot and seeming self-centered. To heal, it is best to go with the flow of the relationships you do have, and be caring towards them. Remember: love is not a game.

Lilith in Scorpio: Your energy is strong and magnetic; you have a charm, allure and confidence to achieve your goals, and others around you recognize and respect your authority, and want to stick around to experience it. However, relationships in your past may have tried to dim your light, causing you to hide your true self. To heal, you should try to embrace your authentic self and be honest. After all, someone who is worth your love and energy is someone who won't judge you for your past or your real self.

Lilith in Sagittarius: Having Lilith in this sign makes you the carefree, adventurous flirt that is always down to explore the world around you. You have a type of warmth and radiance that attracts others to you effortlessly, whether it was your intention or not. While you enjoy the attention, there's one little problem: you're not interested in settling down, perhaps even scared by the idea of commitment, due to an indecisiveness and FOMO. To heal your Lilith, aim to challenge your ideas on love. You can even find yourself in some great adventures while in a loving and committed relationship.

Lilith in Capricorn: You have an incredibly strong work ethic, matching your equally strong desire for recognition, achievement and success, and are always looking to push yourself even further. However, your approach to romance may seem more traditional and stubborn, causing you to appear distant. While you should maintain having standards, don't be afraid to broaden your perspectives. It's okay to let your hair down and be in tune with your romantic desires as opposed to appearing perfect 24/7.

Lilith in Aquarius: You are the rebellious dreamer. Bold, outspoken, fearless and unconventional are your adjectives, and your mysterious aura is especially magnetic when it comes to love and romance. However, you may have a fear of being seen as strange or different, and it causes you to put up a wall and hide your true self. It is important to let go of those negative thoughts and to allow yourself to embrace your authenticity. What's normal anyways?

Lilith in Pisces: You have a deep sense of romanticism and spiritual connection, excelling at forming deep emotional bonds and connections through your ability to understand others profoundly (as well as your warm and graceful aura). However, you tend to see others (especially possible romantic interests) through rose-colored glasses and become overly-optimistic and naive in love, which puts you in trouble through selfish behavior. It is necessary to set healthy boundaries so as to not lose your identity in a relationship and maintain your happiness.

79 notes · View notes

tiltingheartand · 12 hours

Text

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @actuallyitsellie, at … something less than ass o’clock in the morning this time, at least. this WIP is saved as “the sweater curse”.

The whole thing starts – actually it starts for a bunch of different reasons. Strangely enough, one of them was Natalia.

Granted, in retrospect their relationship had been a disaster from beginning to end, but Buck’s heard that saying about stopped clocks more times in his life than he cares to acknowledge, and she had been right about at least one thing. He’d been trying to change the subject – trying to get the conversation onto anything that wasn’t death or death-adjacent – and he’d said something he still can’t bring himself to regret about how she needed a hobby.

And she’d just rolled her eyes, rolled them hard enough he was actually briefly worried they’d fall out of her head and he’d have to call an ambulance because eyes hanging out of their sockets is not something he’s got training for, and hit him back with oh like you have any hobbies other than video games? Or any friends you don’t work with?

That hadn’t quite been the end of their relationship, but it had been close.

Still, she’d had a point. And it’s not like he hasn’t known that his – social circle, as it were, he guesses – is a little on the small side, especially compared to the people he works with, but to have it thrown at him like that really brought it into focus. (And really he should have more hobbies. He’d read somewhere, after the lightning, that it’s good to have non-screen-related hobbies for the sake of your brain and the sake of your eyes, actually, and he’s never had any problems with his eyes before but that’s no reason to tempt fate.)

no-pressure tags: @chobani-flip @wakeupnew @between-two-fandoms @wilddragonflying @perfectlysunny02

#911 #evan buckley #bucktommy #(… eventually)#my fic lives here #tag game

21 notes · View notes

autism-rizz-tournament · 1 day

Text

Autism Rizz Tournament

Rizz: Originally short for "Charisma", Rizz (for this tournament, at least) refers to the appeal, charm or general "ability to pull" a character has, either romantically and/or sexually. (The character doesn't necessarily need to be attracted to anyone to have rizz. If they can make others fall for them, it counts)

How to vote

Propaganda/antipropaganda

Laios Touden (Dungeon Meshi)

His autistic swag has captivated the hearts of many tumblrina's and also mythical entities. He can grill. He's so epic. Nothing hotter than a guy who can cook.

Anti-propaganda:

definitely autistic, but its a point in the manga that his interests and mannerisms have othered him. no characters really show any romantic interest in him, I mean the orc girl seems genuinely upset by the idea of a relationship with him I mean I guess you could say he rizzed up the winged lion or idk kabru gonna go with a firm no on this one

Shoto Todoroki (My Hero Academia)

Does not understand social cues, pretty expressionless, yet everyone is in love with him

He also includes these autistic stereotypes: constantly eats the same food, compared to robot, has routines

#laios touden #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #shoto todoroki #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #character tournament #poll #tumblr polls #tumblr tournament #tournament poll

33 notes · View notes

sizzlingpatrolfox · 2 days

Note

it's hard to imagine that if they actually dated she would be posting bts content from 2020 to prove it. like she would have to have something she took herself. she has been stoking these rumors for years and she has yet to show something that proves they have ever even met irl. i hope the rumor that he moved out before enlisting is true because this is getting old.

"she has been stoking these rumors for years and she has yet to show something that proves they have ever even met irl." Exactly, yeah.

There was someone yesterday or the day before who sent an ask arguing in favor of every story she posted the other day and how she couldn't have possibly gotten those from anywhere else when she very much could've. All I'm gonna say is people have literally worn Jimin's fake love outfits because somehow fans got a hold of it, and someone was able to get his mail from BTS own home. Also, when that guy posted the heart jikook photo and some other Jimin photo from Japan in like 2018/2019, everyone immediately and unanimously agreed that he couldn't possibly be their friend anymore because if he was he wouldn't have posted those photos. And I agreed with that because I've also seen how Jimin seems to handle his personal relationships and to keep their exposure to a minimum. We don't even see social media posts with sungwoon or saeon who are also somewhat public figures.

But I really don't care about "debunking" any of it, I think the back and forth between "this is legit proof" and "that isn't legit proof" is stupid and annoying.

I've been told before stuff like why do you get so defensive about it but it's not defensiveness. It's annoyance because I really seriously geniunely don't care if it's real or not, and it's annoying that people want me so bad to care. Like why does it matter??? I don't have that parasocial of a relationship with Jimin, but have those anons stopped to think they might have a parasocial relationship with ME? Because I really can't understand why they want me to care so bad.

Last December, I was on holidays right, and I sleep with my phone next to my bed and the phone vibrated like three or four times in a row and it woke me up (I have really light sleep). I checked it and it was just before 7am and the phone had been vibrating because of tumblr notifications. I opened them and it was I SWEAR like 3 or 4 messages recounting every single instagram story the actress had ever posted or some shit. I blocked that anon immediately. Nothing had even happen!!!! That person just felt like obsessing over this woman's instagram and that was it. So they had to come and give me all their "proof" and accusing me for not believing in it.

I've also realized how much ammo she gets by doing these slight, sneaky """reveals""" because it's actually what gets people talking more than they would if she just posted a photo of Jimin sitting on the toilet. People post her stories, then go check them, then check her comments, a couple of hours later they check to see if she's deleted them, etc etc. All while others on twitter were sharing the stories left and right and comparing it with the bangtan bomb and trying to decipher if it was really Jimin behind that flower emoji.

So, yeah that's really it. Also not directed to you, but to some other people. Don't ask me or expect me to care... I might've cared years ago when I still believed Jimin and Jungkook were a thing but I've been saying more like two years already that they're not fucking each other, so there's literally no reason at all for Jimin dating to ever affect me. And even when I did believe they were fooling around, I never ever said "they're totally in a committed exclusive real relationship and have been married since 2015" because I've never believed that.

I've been a fan of Harry Styles since I was 15 years old and it has never bothered me to see him making out in public with the whole lineup of Victoria Secret's models because I've just never been that person. So even if it wasn't the reaction people expected me to have, you're just gonna have to believe me when I say Jimin dating rumours do not bother me.

Lastly and I really doubt I'll be addressing this topic again unless something really significant happens, there really isn't necessary "proof" for me to take this seriously. I just don't have enough information to believe in this rumour and that's just it. I'm not going to be thinking harder and trying to connect barely-there dots for someone else. If there is something there, or there was at some point in the past, I'm gonna need taennie level of proof.

18 notes · View notes

incorrect-primarchs-quotes · 2 months

Text

I'm tired and I'll probably pass out in 2 sec but I saw a post -that I can't share no matter what I do - with the main subject being "It's ironic that the P Bros complained about Curze being a monster when they were literally worse in terms of numbers of kills"

Can't give it much thought now because my brain is in safe-energy mode but I believe one of the main reasons why they all complained about his way was because even in war there should be rules to respect.

NL never gave a shit about rules in general,and so they did whatever they felt like doing.

On one side this was highly efficient: you brutally kill a small city to save 3 worlds worth of population.

On the other side, what they did to those people in the small city were the worst war crimes ever made in this grimdark future.

Also, no rules, no honourable war/battle, so most of the primarch would shit on their ways just for this.

I'll may make a better point when I'm able to form a coherent thought tomorrow byeee

#also i owned a book about wars #but like type of wars #descriptions and tactics #and compared them to social relationships #very cool book #terror tactics were also explained that book #it also said that the best way to counter this type kf enemy was an army ready to charge at full strength ahead and never stop #so BA and WE would wipe out NL asses in battle #or so the book said

22 notes · View notes

canisalbus · 2 months

Note

Role-reversal AU where Machete opens a library on Florence and slowly becomes a very influencial local political figure, while Vasco's parents become fed-up with his "lifestyle" and send him away to the clergy (he probably has a brother in this AU, to make their decision more believable)

They reconnect in a similar way to the original, but their relationship is much more tragic as Vasco became self-hating and thinks he corrupted/doomed Machete in their youth and meanwhile, this Machete is trying to protect him from the corrupted side of the Church and possible assassination plot, that he's too indoctrinated to see happening around him

A interesting ending for this AU should be that Machete still dies, but results in Vasco finally running away from the clergy/inquisition (not sure if Vasco joins the inquisition or not, you can decide) and hiding in the country-side. Where he grows old dedicating various paintings and poems to Machete and possibly taking care of some noble's horses for a living

#that's interesting #Machete could potentially really shine in politics I can see that being a thing #but Vasco would most likely have miserable time in the clergy #the pressure and guilt and expectations would break his spirit #even if he doesn't always get along with his parents his family relatives and social bonds mean a lot to him #he wouldn't take it well if he felt like he had failed his parents #and was subsequently pushed into a profession that forbids personal relationships #Machete would have hard time watching him and comparing the young jovial Vasco he used to know to his current dejected state #but in this situation it might be more possible for them to escape together #Machete can't leave the church because he's been indoctrinated from early childhood and has never had any life outside of it #Vasco's relationship with religion is a lot less intense he might be able to detach mostly in one piece #and look after horses for the rest of his days #answered #anonymous #Vaschete scenarios #Machete the librarian #he'd love that

137 notes · View notes

crescentfool · 1 month

Text

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

49 notes · View notes

oldyears · 1 year

Text

…

#kinda can’t stand ppl who put romance on such a high pedestal in their conception of relatio ships #like firstable relationships shouldn’y have a hierarchy… it’s a social orbit/sphere/circle/WHATEVER #ALL OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT AND NOURISHING AND MEANINGFUL!!!!!#and second i hate when ppl r like ‘omg i want a romantic partner bcos they will see me for me and love me all the same’#like…. do u not have friends. omg 😭#out of all the ppl in my life i think my friends know the extent of the worst parts of myself n the fact that they chose to stay #i also yearn for romance but i easily get so irritated when ppl see it as such a high elevation of love compared to friendship/family/etc #maybe i’m just inexperienced or whatever but i would also hate to see my romantic partner as the only one who can provide me w comfort #and safety and affection and everything else in between :/ like it’s sooo off #moi

9 notes · View notes

ask-gimmiventures · 11 months

Text

Btw since it’s munday and I can post all the ooc I want lol I just wanted to say that I’m open to planning relationships and such between my characters and others, be it friendship romantic or family! And I’m just open to chatting in general!!! My dms are open for peeps who feel like it :3

#Ooc #dl #romance would def have to be discussed depending on the character #like comparability and sexuality and how willing they’d be to be in a relationship #lol #but like if you want to have them have a lasting friendship I’m down for that too #I’m friendly just ver nervous and bad at socializing

5 notes · View notes

mrfoox · 1 year

Text

Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...

#miranda talking shit #Uuuh i was kinda rightfully anxious? I told him about how i am a little freak and i basically am down to date 90% of my friends #But i got told by Oliver that it could be i act that way bc i dont want to be abandoned/left so im willing to compromise however they want #Me to... So talked about that with him and yep. We finally got into the whole... 'what are we' business. Or well kinda not directly #He said he didn't want to bring it up but we basically are on the subject so... And how hes worried that i will think too much about him #'i worry the more time we spend together the more your life will revolve around me and you'll value me so much more than i do you'#'it doesnt seem fair to you so ive occasionally not talked with you because i worry about that. You're a great friend but I know how much #You think about people. And im worried if you think about me too much you'll develop feelings or I'll mean more to you than before' i... He #Isnt wrong? Thats kinda how i work. The more people prioritize me the more ill value them and cherish them? But also... Idk if he understod #That i dont actively think about kissing or dating my friends? Its just a thing i know that if anyone asked I'd be down for it. But i dont #Daydream about it or anything. But then again he said some cryptic fabian shit like 'i dont have anyone else to compare with so i assume #What we have is normal. I sometimes want to cross the line to see where i still stand with you after doing it' like bro... Im so sorry i am #I am so far from 'normal' and him having me as his biggest both friend and female/woman in his life is probably such a mess i am crying #Me: ok then cross the line and see how you feel. 'but thats the problem. You dont have a line you're so open and down with everything you #Dont really react badly' I know i... Probably am making things hard for him sometimes but this was an holy shit moment /: hes worried to #Spend too much time with me bc of how i can potentially feel? Meanwhile I'm basically 80%+ of all his social interactions 😭 at one hand i #Appreciate him thinking of me and worry i guess but... Yeah. I told him: listen Fabian. My life does not revolve around you and youre not #The only one i think about. You are safe.' his and mine relationship is my favorite but also i definitely worry bc i know how much what we #Have or talk about or act is his... Only reference for girls basically. I mean outside his mom. He's not had any other girl friends and no #Actual girlfriend. So his reference to whats... Okay and appropriate is basically dictated by me and im seeing that very clear now im kinda #Afraid. Like... Im not normal on any level. If he's basing his view on women on me hes going to have an awful time truly... Idk if i should #Be offended or flattered that he thinks he's the center of my world 😭 like hes not completely wrong. I talk with him multiple times per #Week. But i can also say hes not all i think about at all waking hours lol. I obviously love him and care so much about him but im not #In love with him. Not as far as i know anyway. I dont think of him how i do people i have crushes on for example so yeaah. It bothers me #More that he couldn't just say 'im not into you' bc thats fine. He added the whole element of 'im not sure' like buddy now im going to be #Anxious about that in the future. I guess he have no reference to crushes so he cant tell but like... How do you want me to act so you can #Tell? I want an solid answer putting in an maybe is cruel even to me. This is funny bc tbh i dont even know if i would be able to date him #Even if he said he wanted to. Bc i know his biggest wish is to be a dad and i have nog fully embraced that idea even /: 'i can feel how ego #Centered i am. Assuming im the center of your world like that' at least youre self aware sweetie. Sounded like he was at peace with all we #Said and im here like... Binch there's so much to think about i wish i could read your mind i need more information to understand all this

2 notes · View notes

islayfay · 2 years

Text

the queer experience of only having someone you’re into like you too already as an adult but not knowing how to act because you’ve never gotten this far before

but x100000 cause you’re also autistic

#mindlessly drawing parallels with your favorite ship bc that's what you know #then telling myself off cause if i want this to work and be healthy comparing it to fictional relationships def isn't the way to go #and the classic googling how to human ofc lol #i AM cautious of myself though cause i want us to be able to communicate well but how will i do that when identifying my feelings is hard #nevermind communicating them bc socializing #especially in unfamiliar ways and contexts #also i want her to know the real me but idk how to NOT mask as i do so unconsciously #at least she thinks she has adhd too lol #autistic #autism

4 notes · View notes

furiousgoldfish · 9 months

Text

Which ones of these arbitrary trauma-induced rules do you follow?

No spending money, ever. what if you need it later and your life depends on it.

Assume that all strangers are 3 seconds close to becoming hostile. fawn to keep them friendly.

No delegating tasks. no telling other people to do things you could potentially do yourself. what if they mess up.

Assume that everyone will consider you a burden if you do 1 single mistake that inconveniences them. do all that is possible to not make that mistake.

Do not admit when things are going wrong. wait until theres no other option but to ask for help, and even then consider not doing that.

Always act like you're okay. not doing so might make you seem 'not normal' and 'accused of being crazy and unstable'.

Do anything for friends, even if it sounds weird, dodgy, illegal. you want to prove that you're fun and easy going and helpful and useful and extremely cool with anything.

Never let it show if you're suspicious of someone. never say out loud that you think their intentions are bad. that might set them off.

If hurt, hide and isolate. Do not let anyone see you hurt.

Do not ask help for problems you feel are your own responsibility to solve. Even if you don't see yourself solving them successfully. If you can't do it, assume nobody can help you.

Help others to try and build positive relationships. Don't accept help so you don't end up relying on them for anything.

Do not start things that involve help or participation from other people. People are not reliable.

Assume that institutions, government, police, social services, and any kind of groups of people are all considering you a nuisance, and would attack you on sight, in every single situation. Never rely on them or assume they would do anything else.

No arguing, confronting, or standing up for yourself unless the situation is absolutely unsurvivable otherwise. Lay low until doing otherwise is seriously damaging your mental health and ability to live.

Give up on hopeful social encounters before they disappoint you. If you have to interact with people, assume the worst is about to happen.

No allowing yourself to idealize, or dream of positive future with people. It's a trap and your expectations need to be either extremely realistic or low.

Assume that fancy and expensive things don't exist for you. Despise them and get away from them.

No comparing yourself and your life to how other people live. It causes depression and despair. Other people's lives and standards of living are none of your business.

Do not showcase any skill or brag about any achievement. Jealous people can destroy you for satisfaction.

Assume people think the worst of you and don't consider changing their mind. Just try to keep out of their way.

Do not display anger. You don't want to be called insane or get arrested. You don't know what people could potentially blame you for if you're openly angry. But other angry people are dangerous and you need to get away from them.

If you follow more than half of these, you have a trauma-induced problem. These are not normal or healthy. These are not developed in a healthy environment. These are extremely self-protective, isolating, ruled by terror of the world and the people living in it. If you follow these, something bad has been done to you.

#trauma rules #living in trauma #consequences of trauma #social anxiety #aftermath of abuse #aftermath of trauma #trauma induced rules #long term abuse #consequences of abuse #extreme self-reliance

6K notes · View notes

ghelgheli · 6 months

Text

Historians are rarely challenged just for applying words like ‘woman’ and ‘man’ to the past; it would not inevitably cause a backlash to say that a historical figure wanted power, or grieved, or felt anger. A trans historian, though, is caught in the double-bind of the DSM-5. Our experiences and our desires are quite literally mad. We do not have the social license to see ourselves fractured and reflected in historical figures; we are standing in the wrong place to write. Put simply, if you foreclose trans readings, you foreclose trans writing. When we reflect on the similarities between our lives and those of historical figures, we are accused of spreading our social contagion to the dead. To read our own anamorphoses in a text, to communicate that to a cis academic establishment who have rendered our unqualified subjectivities unimaginable, we are forced to accuse historical figures of transness. And then, of course, we are chastised for pathologising them. For a trans historian, it is not viable to simply universalise our experiences of gender. In order to relate to historical figures’ gendered experiences in our writing in a way that is legible to cis readers, we have to assert that those figures were trans. There is a gap to be bridged, and the onus to bridge it falls on us… Transmisogyny and anti-effeminacy were and are integral to the structure of patriarchy and therefore to cisness (or vice-versa). In ‘Monster Culture (Seven Theses)’, Jeffrey Jerome Cohen proposed a methodology for reading cultures: ‘from the monsters they engender’. In concluding this sketch of Byzantine cisness, I would like to attempt to apply this method. To monster a group or an individual is a violent act, and through examining the way transfemininity was monstered in Byzantium, we can begin to understand the shape of the violent regulation of gendered possibilities that constituted Byzantine cisness… Synesius [of Cyrene] did not simply compare the image of the elegantly coiffed effeminate with the shiny dome of the soldier’s helmet; he went one step further, proclaiming that pretty hair was the give-away for hidden effeminacy. He rails against ‘effeminate wretches’ who ‘make a cult of their hair’, who he suggests engage in sex work not out of economic necessity but as an act of sex and gender exhibitionism, to ‘display fully the effeminacy of their character’. Then, he goes on to say:

And whoever is secretly perverted, even if he should swear the contrary in the marketplace, and should present no other proof of being an acolyte of Cotys save only in a great care of his hair, anointing it and arranging it in ringlets, he might well be denounced to all as one who has celebrated orgies to the Chian goddess and the Ithyphalli.

The implication is clear: long, well kempt, perfumed and curled hair is not just hair, it is a signifier, one that signals total abnegation of manhood, and therefore of cisness. This demonstrates one of the mechanisms by which cisness was maintained and enforced in the Byzantine world. Relatively minor embodied gender transgressions, like too-long or too-pretty hair, could be linked to transfemininity and to sexual receptivity, the two farthest points from patriarchal manhood. That is not to say that this prevented people from committing such gender transgressions; rather that it made them risky, a weapon that could be used against you by anyone who wanted to do you harm. The other thing demonstrated by Synesius’ invective is the relationship between effeminacy, unmasculine vanity and presumed sexual receptivity. It would be tempting, based on the relationship Synesius draws between long beautiful hair and receptive anal sex, to suggest that the animating force of this antipathy is, if not homophobia, a narrower pre-modern equivalent. There is, however, a fantastically complicating detail in Synesius’ remark on the reasons such ‘effeminates’ engage in sex work: being sexually available is presented as an instrumental, rather than terminal value. In Synesius’ imagination, sex work is the means, but social recognition of the feminine gender of the sex worker is the end: to ‘display fully the effeminacy of their character’. The monster Synesius invokes to shore-up his own gender position, to guard his own cisness and his access to hegemonic masculinity, is an unambiguously transmisogynist fantasy. It is here that Byzantine cisness most sharply converges with twenty-first-century cisness.

‘Selective Historians’: The Construction of Cisness in Byzantine and Byzantinist Texts, Ilya Maude [DOI]

#reading #gender

3K notes · View notes

headspace-hotel · 13 days

Text

There was this post a while ago where somebody was saying that Cheetahs aren't well suited to Africa and would do well in Midwestern North America, and it reminded me of Paul S. Martin, the guy I'm always pissed off about.

He had some good ideas, but he is most importantly responsible for the overkill hypothesis (idea that humans caused the end-Pleistocene extinctions and that climate was minimally a factor) which led to the idea of Pleistocene rewilding.

...Basically this guy thought we should introduce lions, cheetahs, camels, and other animals to North America to "rewild" the landscape to what it was like pre-human habitation, and was a major advocate for re-creating mammoths.

Why am I pissed off about him? Well he denied that there were humans in North America prior to the Clovis culture, which it's pretty well established now that there were pre-Clovis inhabitants, and in general promoted the idea that the earliest inhabitants of North America exterminated the ecosystem through destructive and greedy practices...

...which has become "common knowledge" and used as evidence for anyone who wants to argue that Native Americans are "Not So Innocent, Actually" and the mass slaughter and ecosystem devastation caused by colonialism was just what humans naturally do when encountering a new environment, instead of a genocidal campaign to destroy pre-existing ways of life and brutally exploit the resources of the land.

It basically gives the impression that the exploitative and destructive relationship to land is "human nature" and normal, which erases every culture that defies this characterization, and also erases the way indigenous people are important to ecosystems, and promotes the idea of "empty" human-less ecosystems as the natural "wild" state.

And also Martin viewed the Americas' fauna as essentially impoverished, broken and incomplete, compared with Africa which has much more species of large mammals, which is glossing over the uniqueness of North American ecosystems and the uniqueness of each species, such as how important keystone species like bison and wolves are.

It's also ignoring the taxa and biomes that ARE extraordinarily diverse in North America, for example the Appalachian Mountains are one of the most biodiverse temperate forests on Earth, the Southeastern United States has the Earth's most biodiverse freshwater ecosystems, and both of these areas are also a major global hotspot for amphibian biodiversity and lichen biodiversity. Large mammals aren't automatically the most important. With South America, well...the Amazon Rainforest, the Brazilian Cerrado and the Pantanal wetlands are basically THE biodiversity hotspot of EVERYTHING excepting large mammals.

It's not HIM I have a problem with per se. It's the way his ideas have become so widely distributed in pop culture and given people a muddled and warped idea of ecology.

If people think North America was essentially a broken ecosystem missing tons of key animals 500 years ago, they won't recognize how harmful colonization was to the ecosystem or the importance of fixing the harm. Who cares if bison are a keystone species, North America won't be "fixed" until we bring back camels and cheetahs...right?

And by the way, there never were "cheetahs" in North America, Miracinonyx was a different genus and was more similar to cougars than cheetahs, and didn't have the hunting strategy of cheetahs, so putting African cheetahs in North America wouldn't "rewild" anything.

Also people think its a good idea to bring back mammoths, which is...no. First of all, it wouldn't be "bringing back mammoths," it would be genetically engineering extant elephants to express some mammoth genes that code for key traits, and second of all, the ecosystem that contained them doesn't exist anymore, and ultimately it would be really cruel to do this with an intelligent, social animal. The technology that would be used for this is much better used to "bring back" genetic diversity that has been lost from extant critically endangered species.

I think mustangs should get to stay in North America, they're already here and they are very culturally important to indigenous groups. And I think it's pretty rad that Scimitar-horned Oryx were brought back in their native habitat only because there was a population of them in Texas. But we desperately, DESPERATELY need to re-wild bison, wolves, elk, and cougars across most of their former range before we can think about introducing camels.

#ecology #environment

2K notes · View notes

luv-gukkie · 28 days

Text

★ little, naive thing ★

pairing: yandere! jeon jungkook x f. reader

genre: fluff || smut || non-idol au || yandere

summary: a small cuddle takes jungkook back down memory lane; a time where he could only admire your pretty-self from afar with a burning need to make you his, an idea your little boyfriend wasn’t so fond of.

word count: +4.8k

tags/warnings: cockwarming, boobie kisses, dom! jungkook, sub!reader, jungkook worships reader, he switches up real fast, size difference, smooches here and there, jungkook manhandles reader, he's possessive, degrading comments, public sex? (don't worry? no one catches them), jungkook gets into a fight, he hurts himself, manipulation, jk lies, talk about marriage ;), degrading comments, jungkook gets a tattoo of..., unprotected sex (don't be silly), reader was his first (for EVERYTHING), he's in love LOVE

notes: hope you enjoy it! i’ll try to post the small writing about yoongi soon :)

༻❤︎︎ ★ ★ ❤︎︎༺

"no, no, no, no!" jungkook yells with a small smile as his hands covered his face, acting as if he was sad. you sing out a little chant, sticking your tongue out at him. he can't help but hide his laugh at your taunts and the small dance you do behind his hands. you're so cute, jungkook thinks as he stares at you through the gap between his fingers. the playback of your pink character, cat peach, flashes through the television screen as it shows her first through the finish line seconds before tanooki mario, jungkook's character, crosses through it as well. he groans in pain, "i was so close." he can't believe how good you've gotten at mario kart 8. it's unbelievable how fast you've learned. "wanna know my secret?" you whisper softly as if there were people around you; even though both of you are alone in your shared apartment, with the only witnesses being bam, the big and strong doberman, and cinnabon, your cute, tiny bunny. the pair lay together (similar to jungkook and you) on bam's huge bed, cuddled into each other, hiding behind their floppy ears. with the same mischievous tone, jungkook whispers back, "i have to know." you smile before leaning in closer to his ear and before he knows it, he's backing away, tricked and played. jungkook covers his ear, recovering from your surprise shriek. you giggle at his reaction before going in to leave kisses on his face all around. "sorry", you giggle as he "tries" to get away from you, but it's impossible because you two sit together squished on a bean bag.

as he sees you laugh, memories with you flash through his mind. it takes him back to the start of his love to you; all the way in high school.

jungkook has never been social to begin with. he's always been a little timid and shy compared to others, but it didn't meant he couldn't experience the same things others his age were experiencing. puberty had hit him hard. jungkook had grown too fast over the heat of summer. his voice was no longer of a teenage boy, but one of a grown man. the change into manhood had girls confessing their admiration to him left and right, but he's never been too interested in starting a relationship in the first place. it's not until he landed his eyes onto dainty, little you.

jungkook remembers it was the first day of sophomore year, the summer had tanned him a bit from being a life guard at the public pool and he had grown his muscles. jungkook's eyes wandered around the new classroom, recognizing everyone's faces, but stammering at an almost unrecognizable face. the reddish lipgloss you wear shines on your plump lips, a slight blush on your cheeks and your eyelashes have darkened with mascara. it's clear that he's not the only one who's changed over the summer. your hair is styled perfectly with a nice hairstyle that makes it even cuter. but it's the glimmer in your eyes that attract him the most especially with that faint, flirtatious smile you put on as you smile at the boy who holds your hand. the realization hits jungkook, why the fuck are you holding that boy's hands? that boy probably didn't even know you existed last year so why were you giving him such a lovely look? he thinks he's been staring too long when the guy turns around to glare at him and sticks his middle finger out when you turn around to talk to your friend.

shit.

it would've been a whatever to jungkook, but now, he keeps seeing you everywhere since he's noticed you. and it's not fair that your fucking boyfriend follows you everywhere you go, always in your shadow and never not. and it's like your boyfriend feels notices the glances he throws at you and sends him nasty glares whenever he gets the chance. jungkook fucking hates his ass. hates how he's gotten obsessive over you when he barely knows you; when you don't even know him. he doesn't like the feeling really, but he can't ignore it either so he does everything he can to get the little lovebirds to separate for his sake. eventually a small little rumor breaks things apart and he can't help the little smile that breaks free when the gossip he started reaches his ears. its times like this when jungkook is thankful to the loudmouths his classmates have. and it's like the heavens heard of his prayers when in no time, he had you in his grasp for life.

you don't even find out about jungkook being hurt until your lunch time. the whispers of jungkook's name are loud and seem true enough that you dash out when you hear a short version of the story. you're over the top worried for jungkook. your heart hurts, your eyes are blurring up and sweat is building up on your forehead as you get nearer to the nurse's office. when you find him sitting with a bandages across his arms and hand, fists bloodied and his nose still slightly dripping with blood. and even as the dark bruises are hurting him, red running down his nose and his arms onto the once white bandages, he runs to you with a call of your name and a helpless expression on his face. you let out a painful sob at his delicate form, "jungkookie, this is all my fault. i'm so sorry, you shouldn't be like this." jungkook doesn't deny your claims, tearing into your neck as his arms hug your waist in a tight embrace. you promise to take care of him and you do by spending every single second next to him, making sure he's not hurting. not noticing the sly smile he had on each time you turned around because of how his dumb little girlfriend didn't realize the blood on him wasn't his, but of your ex-boyfriend.

you ignore your ex. can't stand thinking about that stupid idiot, much less seeing him so you make a clear decision to avoid him or anything that has to do with him. sharing your decision with your friends so that they don't even speak of his existence. your blood boils at the fact that he dared to throw insults and then hurt jungkook, provoking you further. unbeknownst to you, your ex-boyfriend was stuck spending his time in the hospital. so it comes to your surprise when you do see him, his arm is in a cast along with his nose covered in white with bruises surrounding it. he's practically limping with each step he takes. when you two make eye contact, your eyes fidget to your phone to tried to avoid him. ignorance that's made harder when he decides to call after you. you're firm as you continue walking but turn around soon after, when you hear the crutches hitting the floor behind each step you take. he whispers about how you should leave jungkook; that there's something wrong with him. but the annoyed look you give him tells him you won't. "leave me alone," is the only thing you utter and before you know it, he's taking your hand as your about to leave and leaning in closer. "___, he's fucking crazy." the terrified look in his eyes is more than enough to scare you, but you're distracted when your eyes spot jungkook's pained ones.

you don’t hesitate to run after jungkook, leaving your ex behind in a hopeless state. you're not able to catch up, but following the sound of his footsteps is good enough to lead you to the back of the school. "jungkook?" you shout for him, wondering where he was. "why are you fucking talking to him?" his harsh tone has you in a ruined state in no time. jungkook has never talked to you in such a way, your mind tells you it's all your fault he's like this. you go to hug him, but all he does is move back and you notice that the tears in his eyes are gone.

jungkook doesn't like what he saw at all. all your words are nothing to him right now; all he feels is anger and jealousy in him. "talking to that piece of shit after he talked bad about you, after he fucking attacked me." he gulps before continuing with a lower tone, "baby, is there absolutely nothing in that pretty little head of yours? you let him hold your hand even after everything. you let him touch what doesn't belong to him." you're crying at this point, telling jungkook that it meant nothing and you only have eyes for him. it's in that moment a light bulb goes on in his head; he's got you right where he wants you. "prove it." his demand confuses you, a small "how?" leaves your lips. you follow his gaze before realizing what he wanted. "will you forgive me?" you question, the hope evident in your mellow tone. "of course, baby." you're about to get down on your knees before he stops you, "nuh uh, pretty," his fingers playing around with the necklace he gave you, "it's something else that i want. c'mon you got this, put two and two together." a mocking tone as he talks to you in a childlike manner. it's in that moment that you realize where both of you still are: school. you don't know how the information left your head, but you shake your head at jungkook. "we're still at school kook, anyone could see us and we could get in trouble." you speak softly, hoping he agrees with you. your palms feel sweaty at his request. it's like a switch-up when he stays quiet for a while, different to how he acted minutes ago but you don't notice. you watch as his bandaged hand tugs a couple of hairs behind your ear.

jungkook wipes his nose with the same bandaged fist that's covered in blood and his bangs slightly reveal the dark purple bruise on his forehead. "please." he begs with a soft voice and with his pretty eyes, you're convinced enough. you just can't deny him, especially after he fought for you; because of you. jungkook got hurt to protect you from that idiot you once called your boyfriend, and you can't help but blame yourself for it. jungkook ruined his reputation for a stupid fight. it's all your fault, so you let him get closer to you. you let him back you up into the hidden corner outside of the school. you wrap your small hands around his neck and let him kiss you. jungkook pushes you into him, his tongue is quick to explore your own. his saliva drips onto your lips and leaves it all messy. his fingers go to unbutton your white button shirt, undoing the blue collar. "you're so pretty, ___." he whines as he licks up your neck in a hurry and sucks it with need until pinkish skin is shown and teeth marks are left. it doesn't help him that the school uniform looks so good on you. the thigh high blue socks the schools requires only feeds on to his desires. and to top it off, you have to wear a blue (mini-looking) skirt with the basically transparent button shirt. and he can't forget the little decorations that you add on, which only fuels his fantasy to have you under him. a little red bow you add on to your hair and the jewelry you add on to your wrist and neck. especially the one that's wrapped around your neck, a sparkling j in the center.

a clear memory goes through jungkook when he raises the skirt he loves on you because it's not the first time he's gotten a peak at what you hide under that skirt; he's seen it multiple times, even before you two started going out but you don't have to know that. he knows he shouldn't have looked, but you wouldn't have minded. would you? either way, he couldn't help it. jungkook's eyes wandered when he was around you. he would ignore the arm that wrapped around your waist (the douche bag you called your boyfriend) and stare hard as fantasies played in his head. he loves the way your tits are so tight in that stupid shirt. he knows he's a pervert for gawking so hard at your ass when you walk pass him, or sometimes taking a peek at what hides underneath. but, he also wished that it was him that was hugging you and kissing you. it would be his dream come true. and maybe, it was just his luck when he saw your panties as you tripped on some rubbish on the ground. thinking that no one was around, you stayed on the ground for a while; whimpering in pain, knees scraped and legs apart, giving jungkook the perfect view of your covered pussy. you didn't wear shorts underneath your skirt, it's like you wanted him to see you in such an intimate way. he swore he felt drool falling out of the corners of his mouth at the sight. he couldn't stop staring (and definitely couldn't forget) at how your body was spread apart on the ground. jungkook doesn't remember how long he stood there before coming to help you, meanwhile trying to hide the hard-on that was growing in frustration. jungkook definitely had luck on his side that day, because soon after, both of you would start to hang out more. it was enough time to indulge your mind and heart.

when you both started dating, you both sat next to each other in almost all your classes. you let his hands play with the trim of your skirt and caress your upper thigh whenever he wanted. ignoring how each time his fingers inched closer to your panties. you were so nice to him. whenever you bent over the slightest, your skirt was basically hanging off your hips, revealing your cute little panties. and now he gets to see them all over again. "shit," he groans at the ache in his cock. you were so enticing with your white panties and the little bow right on the center that he'll never get tired of. but jungkook's too desperate, so he is quick to tug down the flimsy material. quickly choosing to hide it away in his pockets. breath stuttering at your bare, wet cunt. "___, you're so fucking pretty." his finger slides against your slit, immediately getting soaked. his thumb is quick to follow towards your clit, pinching and teasing it until he hears you start to whimper. he turns to you around to place a messy kiss on your lips, tongue dipping in to touch your own as he takes off his pants desperately. his cock is bulging and has left a mess in his boxers, but he pushes it down.

a sigh leaves his lips when his cock stands straight, hitting his abdomen. you don't even get a look before he turns you again and bends you against the brick wall. you feel your heart pound in your chest. "kookie, anyone could find us," you stutter out, a small glob escaping your gaping hole. 'cute', is all he thinks before pressing his hot cock head against your cunt. "shit baby, i have to bend my knees to reach you," he snickers out loud. he can't help the grin that escapes him out of the realization; you're so small compared to him. his shadow completely covers you under him, his hands are huge compared to yours and he can carry you like you're nothing. he's about to press in when you ask if he has a condom. it makes jungkook remember his trip to the pharmacy days before, staring at the pack of condoms he was going to take as he left the store. it brings back the sick pleasure he had then, the need to fuck you raw and full of him. he stands back to his full stature as he softly whispers an apology that he didn't have a single one. he feels slightly angered at the silence you give him, but you wouldn't know because you face the other way. "s' okay kookie i guess." he taunts you in his head, annoyed that you had him standing with a hard cock like an idiot just to ask him for stupid things.

it's already a painful feeling as he pumps his cock. the slit on his tip has precum dribble out. so in return he chooses not to bend down to your height. his hands grip harder onto your hips, the pressure causing you to fuss and arch your back in response. a shriek of his name and a desperate attempt to hold onto the wall distracts you as he lifts you up to the height of his hips by wrapping one arm around your stomach. his other hand directs his drooling cock head into your pussy. as he forces his dick in, your mouth widens as a silent moan escapes you. the tip of his cock is thick and hot. you can hear him pant heavily, calling you sweet names as he watches with heavy eyes as he keeps pushing in until his hips meet your own and the tip shoves right up against your womb.

you can feel tears in your eyes at the way his fat cock is nestled deep inside your cunt. the veins that run down him are perfect and his length excites you. jungkook curses silently as he sees his cock getting drenched off the globs of your slimy slick. he's speechless on how good your pussy feels, surprised he's not busting a nut so far. all he knows is that he'd get on his knees over and over to get just a look at your cunt. it doesn't help that you're practically hanging off his cock, back bending so beautifully to reach him, while your tits are begging to spill out your half-opened shirt. it makes him smug knowing that you could fall if he simply let go of your hips. your legs are dangling mid-air as he fucks you deep and slow for the couple first thrusts before completely switching into a different pace. he feels heavy inside your cunt. all you can think about is him, each time jungkook rams his cock head directly into your sweet spot.

your tiny mouth lets out the dirtiest sultry noises he's ever heard. you sob about how his cock is too big. "kookie," you wail as his cock easily pokes and pushes against your sweet spot and cervix at the same time. you feel the heat from his angry tip that oozes out more chunks of precum, reminding you that he isn't wearing a condom. but you're left dumb with your eyes rolled back when his fingers tease your bud in a hurried pace. jungkook feels your walls squeeze tight on him and it causes a throaty groan to leave his lips. "wet my cock, my pretty baby" he mutters. you shake as jungkook continues stretching your pussy hole out. and with an airless moan, you squirt your juices on his abdomen and the base of his cock. his eyes fill with curiosity at the wetness he feels leak all down his cock and thighs. "s-so perfect for me. little hole gonna be gaping when i leave it. gonna stuff you full of me, isn't that want you want? my little dumb girlfriend wants me to fill her with my cum." jungkook can't help but moan at how your pussy swallows him whole, accepting every inch of him in your hot walls even if he's bigger than you can handle. "gonna be my cock sleeve, perfect for it. wet, little cunt s' clenching around me like a bitch in heat."

he feels the heat crawl up to his face, and it doesn't help that the sweat on his forehead makes his hair stick to his face. he smells your perfume as it begins to stick on him and he fucking loves it. loves that he can grab a full fist of your hair and the only thing you'll do is cry out his name and wet his cock over and over as he goes faster. jungkook leans down to place sloppy kisses down your back, nearing your ear to whisper dirty words that have your cunt clenching tighter around him. the moans you let loose are loud and messy, forgetting your still in school. "people should see how good my baby takes cock, can't compare with no one else, right?" a question you don't answer, or can barely make out with how loud your ass smacks against him. "pussy so filthy and tight, ready to take my cock at anytime and anywhere." you're about to release all over again when jungkook stops to slowly pull back his hips. you whine in frustration, but soon forget when he drags his cock back into your cunt, making sure you feel each vein and curve.

the breathy whines you let out almost drown out the lewd squelches of the bottom of his shaft meeting your bare pussy. jungkook can't hold back the huff, "oh, fuck yes. cute cunt leaking just for me, sucking me right back in," his jaw clenches at how wet you are. each time he sank further, his pace began to pick up with an impatient desire to fuck you harder. "my good girlfriend, s' pretty when she's desperate for cock, my cock." he says mockingly.

"i'm gonna cum," you gasp out with each word. jungkook's fingers make their way to your lips, passing them to reach your tongue. "me too," is all he says before pulling out once more to turn you around and place you right back on his cock. "you look s' fucked out, baby," he whispers with a smug smile on his face, "pussy gonna be nice and stuffed with my cum, yeah?" he's quick to connect your lips together as you squirt from the overstimulation, hiding his desperate groans. you feel his cock spill warm loads of his cum inside you. small curses coming out of his mouth as he continues to runt against you, slobs of cum still leaking into you. you moan at the globs of cum slide down your inner thighs and onto the ground. his voice is soft when he talks to you and carefully holds you onto him. "you're so good to me; my good girlfriend, yeah?" he ignores the way you trace his dark bruises and brushes your hair out. he'll never let that stupid fuck get close to you again. it's not that he's scared of him, but rather of what nonsense he's gonna say. it's best if you don't know that jungkook started the fight, that he went home and hurt himself to make the bruises etched into his skin; smacking his head against the wall until he bled and couldn't think of anything but you and slammed one of his dad's metal tools against his hands to have you next to him, cause jungkook would really do anything for you.

"jungkook, what are you thinking about?" your voice breaks him out of train of thought, "about us." he responds without hesitation, because really, when is he not. his hands rub your waist, slowly taking you onto his lap. you smile at him and it's like he's in love all over again with you. and he hopes you feel the same as he takes his left hand into yours, "i want us to be together forever, ___." you watch the way his doe eyes show you all the love he has for you. you're lucky you've always had jungkook be this affectionate. he's always willing to take you out to a restaurant on late nights, picnics almost every week during the summer, and it's always refreshing to be with him. never once has he failed you, so you can't help the heart-warming feeling in you right now, watching a smile break through his face when you agree with him. "i've loved you from the very start, and i can't wait until we start a new chapter together," he pauses for a while, holding you tighter against his chest, "and you know that i've always wanted to put a ring on your finger, and if you're ready, i'll be more than happy to give you any ring you want." your lips find their way to his as you kiss him with everything you have, "i love you jungkook."

he doesn't even have a chance to respond before you're kissing him again, because you know that he does love you. it's in his eyes; his smile; in everything he does. you're shown love through every gesture he does, like the tattoo he surprised you with last week. big, pretty letters that are deeply inked into the skin of his chest for eternity. these pretty letters that make your name and are surrounded by the soft-feathered wings of beautiful angels. his tattooed hands dig into your hips, angling you on top of his hardened cock. his hand grabbing your jaw, squishing your cheeks and lips as you move your loose shorts to the side. with a harsh tug, jungkook's sweatpants end up at his knees. there's a big pearl of precum on his head, slightly leaking down his base. at the sight, you feel your cunt pulse. jungkook's hands massage your ass as he makes his way back up to unclip your bra. jungkook pumps his cock with your hands, cooing at how small they are. he pushes himself inside your swollen cunt, and it's hard to control himself when your tiny cunt violently clamps around his thick base, taking all of him in. you're moaning desperately into his ear distracting him from your painted nails leaving deep red marks on his abdomen. his lips wrap themselves around you tits, leaving trails of saliva behind before kissing the spots.

"faster, kookie," you cry out as you feel your orgasm at the pit of your stomach. your ass repeatedly meets his pelvis with a burning pain. you're begging for release when his thumb plays with your nub and his mouth is sucking your tits. "little hole dripping all around me, ain't that right baby," a shaky gasp he lets out while his cock makes you reach your high. tears roll down your cheeks at the overstimulation when he grinds himself into your sopping cunt. "gonna make a mess in this pussy," he groans before shoving his warm load deep inside your sore cunt. a little gasp escapes your mouth at how stuffed your tummy is.

just as your hands begin to slide off his shoulders, ready to fix yourself up, jungkook pulls you in close enough that your chest is touching his. you can't even speak when he begins to softly pound into your spent pussy which has you whimpering. there's a cocky grin on his face that you want to wipe off, but it's hard when your oversensitivity makes you weak. with a faint call of his name, jungkook finally halts his sensual motions with a replaced giddy smile, "i love having you in my arms."

as the minutes past, he takes note of your sleepy head dozing off into his neck. jungkook envelopes you into a cozy cuddle as he watches the blarring tv whilst his racing mind drags on with repeated memories of the past; haunting reminders that should never be brought up. he digs his head into your hair, fingers gently kneading into your scalp making his beating heart calm its pace. everything he's done was for you. the thing is jungkook can't limit himself when he's around you. it's a suffocating feeling that indulges every ounce of his body. it fills him with a need to protect you, and it makes him go mad in the head sometimes. it causes him to commit foolish acts of violence against those who he thinks have a role in your life. though, he's gotten better with the persistent idea of becoming a better man for you; a better future husband; a better future father. jungkook's lips turn up at the ends at the sleepy noises you make. "i love you."

2K notes · View notes

zeldasnotes · 6 months

Text

CHIRON IN THE HOUSES ⚷

What your placement makes me think of

CHIRON IN THE 1ST HOUSE: Afraid of being seen as weak, people commenting on your appearance, hiding behind makeup, forcing a tough phacade, extreme competetiveness, surrounding yourself with tough people, comfortable in a small pond so that you can be the big fish, projecting your selfhate onto others, picking other peoples appearance apart, picking your own appearance apart, acting arrogant as a coping mechanism, analyzing, forcing confidence, body dysmorphia, being seen as a target, afraid to go places alone, having a unique feature people comment on.

CHIRON IN THE 2ND HOUSE: Poor kid in a rich kids school, growing up poor, growing up in a family with no money or the opposite growing up in a rich family where money is everything, childhood messed up your moral compass, low self worth, body image issues, not feeling at home in your own body, being used for money, born in the wrong body, growing up in a single parent household, possessive, afraid of loss, experiencing a lot of loss, greediness or completely rejecting the material, not taking care of yourself properly, afraid of change, afraid of never finding stability.

CHIRON IN THE 3RD HOUSE: Bullying during early school years, being compared to a sibling, having a lisp, stuttering, difficulty with expressing yourself, passive aggressive, asthma, communication issues, feeling unwelcomed in your neighbourhood, issues with cousins, speech therapy, having a twin, having a sibling you are expected to ”live up to”, feeling afraid to talk, strong need to be seen as intelligent, outsmarting people, feeling insecure about your social skills.

CHIRON IN THE 4TH HOUSE: Being the black sheep, suppressed childhood memories, feeling rejected by a family member, being the family scape goat, walking on eggshells at home, extremely intuitive, afraid of people being angry or irritated with you, a mother with bpd, a narcissistic mother, generational trauma, trying to heal your mother, a family of broken women, emotionally unavailable parents, constantly hearing parents fighting, having to pick sides between family members, feeling stuck at home, issues renting or buying a home, having to constantly move.

CHIRON IN THE 5TH HOUSE: Experiencing mom/dad shaming, shamed for having kids later in life, shamed for having kids too young, shamed for not wanting kids, teen dad/mom, strong need to be creative or rejecting your creativity, custody battle, having to co-parent with someone you dislike, baby trapped, growing up too fast, ashamed of having fun, afraid of expressing yourself, inability to just let got and have fun, insecure about your style or art, not getting along with your own child, using your pain as entertainment or art, feeling a need to constantly perform.

CHIRON IN THE 6TH HOUSE: Hard time with routines, door dash addict, inability to take care of yourself, obsession with routines, overworking or inability to find work,a job that drains you, a need to constantly be of service, constantly getting sick, your needs being ignored growing up, working with healing others, being overly criticized by a parent, workoutschedules, bad experiences with pets, dieting, hypochondriac, never feeling clean enough, growing up in dirty surroundings, among hoarders.

CHIRON IN THE 7TH HOUSE: Feeling like there is a wall between you and others, fear of rejection, early experiences with rejection, rejected by your first love, no social life, afraid of never finding ”the one”, early experiences with betrayal, people pleasing, ”you havent met anyone yet?”, getting into your first relationship later in life, attracted to wounded people, trying to save bad people, scared of being left for someone else, trying to be perfect, obeying to be liked, connections with others ending badly.

CHIRON IN THE 8TH HOUSE: Afraid of opening up, experiencing constant loss, afraid of loss of power, growing up around someone who asserted power over them, a wound surrounding sex and intimacy, being left out when it comes to inheritance, afraid of not being in control, people trying to control you, freaked out at the thought of ”doing it”, a bad or traumatizing first time, ”doing it” as a selfharm method to take back control after trauma, having to take money in the form of donations, external help, scholarships bc of your family being low income, ashamed of having to take money from others.

CHIRON IN THE 9TH HOUSE: No faith, painful memories from school, the only kid with your cultural background in the whole school, feeling no hope, being forced to convert to another religion, afraid of traveling, never been out of the country you were born in, changing schools, afraid to go to school, bullying in school, not feeling accepted by your inlaws, not feeling free, feeling stuck where you grew up, feeling like you have no roots, being mixed race and not feeling at home with any side.

CHIRON IN THE 10TH HOUSE: Being a part of a family with a bad reputation and therefore being born with a bad rep, being forced into a career, not getting the recognition you deserve for your work, scandals becoming public knowledge, people still talking about that thing you did years ago, being known for something painful, an absent father, not being able to live up to who your father wants you to be, seeking validation from the public, afraid of public humiliation, being slandered.

CHIRON IN THE 11TH HOUSE: Struggling to fit in, prefering to hang out one on one instead of a group, being left out or blamed by a group, toxic friendships, wanting to save the world, misunderstood, deep understanding of the unspoken undercurrentsin group settings, uncomfortable in a group setting, bullying on social media, being exposed online, lack of hope, feeling that nobody gets you, not belonging to any group, strong need to contribute to society, powerstruggles with a stepparent, evil stepmom or evil stepkid kinda energy.

CHIRON IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Absorbing other peoples energy, living in solitude, sleep disorders, the people you least expected turning out to be an enemy, feeling a need to please the collective unconscious, hypersensive to your surroundings, feelings loneliness no matter how many people are around, feeling like you belong in the underworld, repressed memories, zoning out, constantly sensing emotional undercurrents, pushing things under the rugs, medication, bad experiences with addicts, psychic attacks.

CHIRON ASPECTING INNER PLANETS:

SUN/CHIRON: A fragile ego, inflated ego, absent father, putting on a false persona, defensive, acting arrogant when you feel insecure, a dad who left, deep understanding of why people do what they do, not knowing how to express yourself, identity issues, having a healing energy, trying to help everyone.

MOON/CHIRON: Extreme sensitivity, hiding your sensitivity, trying to find parental love in a partner, being shamed for your sensitivity, betrayal from women in the family, emotional scars, seeing through anyone, a bitchy mother, surrounded by bitches, having triggers you cant explain, rejecting and suppressing your emotions, nurturing issues, ”with women comes pain”.

MERCURY/CHIRON: Healing or wounding people with your words, verbally undressing people so that they feel as naked as you, penetrating people to the core, therapist, harsh criticism, wordplay, saying the thing everyone thinks but doesnt say, constantly putting your foot in your mouth, peoples words cut you like knives, you cut back.

VENUS/CHIRON: Extreme fear of rejection, connecting women with pain, female rivalry, low self esteem, attracted to wounded people, plastic surgery, wanting to look perfect, people pleasing to be loved, feeling unworthy of love, ”the bar is in hell” being treated like shit and accepting it bc you love them, feeling ugly no matter how much people tell you youre beautiful, betrayal by women, brutal rejection from a love interest that affected your self esteem deeply.

MARS/CHIRON: Suppressing anger, turning the anger inward or overcompensating by being overly aggressive, surrounded by aggressive men, surrounded by toxic masculinity, feeling uncomfortable around men, afraid of anger, extreme anger from men, feeling like you are not ”man enough”, the dark side of being a man, shamed for your sexuality, rejecting your mascuiline side or acting overly masculine.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #chiron 1st house #venus conjunct chiron #sun conjunct chiron #chiron

3K notes · View notes