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#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful
todayisafridaynight · 1 month
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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cheesit-notes · 8 months
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Simon Riley + Hand Kisses
tags: kissing obviously, ptsd for simon basically, gn!reader, overthinking simon, simon getting violent at one point, a/n: sorry i was gone for a week! i want to say i worked on stuff but ive been busy with things and this was the only thing i did. im not all that happy with the time to result ratio of this tbh but i love the idea of Simonand hand kisses so enjoy!
Ghost who cannot stand any and all kinds of intimate touches. he doesn’t like intimate touches. no, actually, he loathes those touches. it reminds him of a time he’d really rather forget. there’s no way to really kiss him without having to slowly practice. underneath the mask, he’s nothing more than the emotionally scarred, vulnerable Simon Riley who went through far too much for any human.
the first time both of you technically kissed, you had asked if you could kiss him, he said yes because you looked like you wanted it so badly. the two of you stood awkwardly in his barracks. he’s wondering if he should’ve changed clothes earlier, he just got back and was still in his uniform, probably smelled fowl, but you didn’t say a word. ah, he thought he could handle it. he really did. but to kiss was a lot easier said than done. and he’ll never fully forgive himself for shoving you away slamming you against the wall, and he was choking you. he didn’t actually hit you, you tell him that everyday, but the fact he fully intended to hit you for the moment scared him. plagued with the thought that he truly was no different from his father; he could barely look at you for the weeks following that, much less talk to you. no, he refused to do so much as to stand near you; petrified he wouldn’t snap out of it in time, terrified he’d hurt you.
months later, he asked if it’s alright to try again. the kissing thing, you know? it was months after the previous attempt, you and Simon had already reconciled, as much as possible anyways, so the question left you a little confused. you were happy to, but only if he was really ready. and he said he was, he swore it. although.. looking at you, thinking back about the previous attempt, made him anxious. but he already said he would. so he should? he should stick to his words, right? youd probably think hes a coward. god, a man shouldnt be a coward. and he cant be a coward. and all these thoughts ran through his mind. he doesnt realize he’s zoned out and that you’re staring at him with a concerned look on your face. its not until you decide to speak does he snap back.
“are you sure you want to do this?”
he’s not even sure what to respond. what did he want?  he’s only really thought about what you wanted. it’s not like his wants really mattered in his eyes.
“you know, we don’t have to do this. we can still have a perfectly fine relationship without–”
“no! absolutely, no, we.. we have to kiss.”
he insisted, almost yelling like he’s afraid he wouldn’t be heard. and that you’d leave him because you’d think he couldn’t kiss you, because he couldn't give you of a normal relationship. and you deserved it. you deserved a normal relationship with someone who could give you what you wanted. and god, he wishes he were normal.
anyone could tell he was agitated. honestly, it isn’t easy for you. you could tell he wouldn’t handle it well if you kissed him directly. but if you didn’t then he’d isolate himself, thoughts spiralling like a roller coaster in his mind, and you couldn’t be sure when or where the ride ended. so, grab his hands, hold them in yours, and plant a gentle kiss on each. you hold his hands, looking into his eyes, and for what felt like hours, the two of you stayed put like that. until Simon told you to leave.
it caught you off guard, you’re a little taken back. but respecting his wishes, you leave the room. not even a minute after you leave, Simon slumps against the wall, he can’t stop the hot, burning tears from falling. maybe it was how soft your lips felt against his caloused hands or how careful you were with him, how you knew that he likely wouldn’t react well to either choice and yet you made the perfect one.
Simon Riley who sometimes holds your hand, silently hoping you’d kiss his hand again. he likes it when you give each knuckle a peck. if you bent down on one knee, you’d look like a knight kissing the princess’ hand, and Johnny would say this whenever he saw the chance. Simon Riley who still isn’t ready to kiss you directly, but he’s slowly working on it. Simon Riley who will probably learn to like different types of kisses, but right now, he's smitten over you and your hand kisses that make him feel oh so loved.
next time he holds your hand, give him a kiss, will you?
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smashwolfen · 1 year
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Destiny
I had thoughts at work while half asleep the other morning, and this was the result.Turns out I hyperfocused so hard i finished it today so yay!
I subscribe to the theory Giratina eeby deebied Ingo to hisui on accident when Volo was first beginning to mess with Giratinas power ripping space time distortions to get Arceus’ attention, Ingo was just at the wrong place at the wrong time ;u;
And Akari/Dawn being given no clear answer about them going home after everything’s said and done is very unfair, but sometimes destiny is fickle like that...
Poem under the cut if folks cant read it and some bonus stuff!
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Destiny chooses who it will take,
It does not matter if it had been a mistake
In the light of all or by the shadow of none,
You are here now, O chosen one
To choose the tracks that you must lead,
Follow the line you now heed
Divert the path, change its fate,
Finish thy task before it’s too late
Destroy it all to make it right?
It is not written in black and white
Understand, learn, follow through,
To remember what’s lost or begin anew
It matters not if you leave or stay,,,
...For it was never your choice anyway.
I am not one to write poems and it might not all fit perfectly, but I was running around work when verses were coming to mind and I kept hiding in the back or in the freezer to jot down everything that came to mind, but I’m happy how it turned out in the end XD
I’m stupid proud with how Giratina came out, he just looks really nice, Arceus I’m not entirely happy with but I can’t figure out how to fix him the way I want to have him, so he’s just gonna be as is and I can move on!
And this weren't done completely digitally, the end result yes but almost every big project I start I always do with pencil sketches first, my digital sketching I feel is way too messy and I can be more consistent with my pencil and paper, so I just redo the lines afterwards, so here are the sketches to see how messy they can get with my dumb little notes and things~!
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And a bonus close up, how I originally was going to draw Ingos face before settling on the finished version, man’s was gonna go through it XD
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strawberryseeded · 5 months
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thinking abt bllk (no surprise there) and how (at least until now) all (well, most of?) the characters backstories aka basically the reason for their most prominent issues are, instead of extremely tragic and complex events, simply children's logic applied to recurrent situations in their daily lives (and especially the sport they love):
bachira feels lonely: bachira was a weird and lonely kid who was also extremely passionate abt (and talented in) football, more than any other kid, making bachira feel isolated even when he was playing with others. this got even worse when the kids he played with started to resent him, calling him a "monster" and bullying him. while talking with his mom, she told him to keep believing in his inner voice and ignore those who dont understand him, resulting in bachira giving that voice the form of a "monster" that can play football with him to feel less lonely. which, obviously, made him even more lonely, even if it was an imaginary friend created to aliviate that feeling. because bachira still felt lonely, even after many years and even after playing with other people in school who werent any fun for him, he kept the monster by his side. believing no one could ever beat this monster (thank GODNESS he did 🎉!!! HE is the monster no one can beat!!!! his arc is one of my favs hes literally unstoppable now, i love him dude i love h)
isagi holds himself back too much: isagi (i read the light novel abt him hehe) was a timid and mild mannered kid until he discovered football, which he fell in love with. while playing the sport he could let go of his shyness and actually be selfish and go all out. uuuntil... he entered his high school's reputable football club, where the motto was to play as a team above everything else (a very anti-blue lock logic lol). isagi then, in an effort to accomodate to the social norms of the club (bc hes isagi, and off the field hes calmer and timider), had to simmer down in the field as well. supress himself. at times it seems like his on and off switch is kind of stuck.
barou has main character syndrome: barou was a very, on top of talented, meticulous kid and therefore the best in football out of every other kid he knew, who didnt take it as seriously and were more than happy to let him score all the goals. he didnt understand why they were satisfied with letting other people take all the glory, so he secluded himself, convinced that he was the only player that actually mattered on the field. the best. the Main Character. everyone else was completely worthless, their only use being to serve HIM. (until he got his ass kicked by isagi and became the villan instead of the main character, bc oh, shit, barou's not actually the main character???? then he'll hunt down & DESTROY the main character).
rin (god, rin) has a brother complex (i used to hate when ppl oversimplify whats wrong w him w this term but tbh it does boil down to this lol ToT): rin idolized his older brother like crazy and wanted to be just like him. bc he was also blessed with talent and also had a great relationship w sae, he had everything he needed to fulfill his dream of being the 2nd best striker, the 1st obviously being his older brother, who rin viewed as the best, most talented player in the world. when sae comes back from spain and tells him 'the world is big and im not actually the best, you go and be the best striker by yourself' (basically: our (your) dream is over), rin has a fucking breakdown. its not really a tragic, despair-inducing event, objectively speaking. but in the manga its framed as such bc for rin, in his childish logic, it is. bc his brother IS the BEST player, what the fuck do you mean hes not number 1 outside of japan?? ....then what about rin? if his brother cant be the best, rin cant be the 2nd best either, let alone the best. he feels like sae ruined everything, gave up, broke their (rin's) dream!!!! after sae humilliates him, rin directs all of his frustrations at him and bows to defeat him. as long as rin sees himself as sae's little brother, he's never gonna be able to surpass him, bc in rin's mind, sae is still the best, his talented big brother.
ness believes kaiser, not him, is the magician: ness's case is more serious bc his family was (is?) emotionally abusive towards him. basically, like every other kid, ness believed in magic. the concept of magic is exciting for children and gives them, in the form of play, the opportunity to express their creativity and exercise their imagination; work out a way to make the impossible come true. bc this is so important for their development, usually its the parents role to, at least to a certain degree, keep alive the belief that magic is real. ness's parents, on the contrary, shut down this belief bc it didnt match with their own views. they saw his interests as a waste of time, even letting his sibilings bully him and treat him badly to make him give up on them. ness, however, didnt, and instead found a more socially acceptable way to 'do magic' and express his creativity: football. he feared greatly, however, that football would be taken away from him, so in that faithful match in which he met kaiser he decided to put all of his trust and hard work on him, bc ness believed kaiser was the person who would be able to make the impossible, the magic that ness wanted to create, happen. i think the key to unlock his full potential is stop relying on kaiser so much and start believing in his own magic (kind of like what happened in hiori's arc). we have yet to know kaiser's backstory but i have a feeling those two enable each other's worst traits...
ETC !!!! sorry i got tired of writing lol
anyways these r just my interpretations of the characters feel free 2 b like "was is she ON about"
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captainmera · 7 months
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How do you think Belos would react if he found out Hunter had feelings for Willow,a witch, just like his brother?
As a man of repetitive patterns - I'd say he'd kill him?
"It hurts every time he chooses to betray me"
can mean lots of ways Caleb betrayed Philip. It's vague and Philip gets to interpret it however he wants for every new grimwalker. It's almost like he expects it of them - otherwise, why always have one in the making?
Betrayal of wanting to be himself. Betrayal of loving a witch. Betrayal of loving the demon realm. Betrayal of disagreeing with ideologies. Betrayal of wanting to quit the coven system/Golden guard. Betrayal of running away.
Essentially, Hunter checks every mark of betrayal.
"you looked the most like him" <- WELL, DING DONG BELOS THE NEWS IS HERE; YOUR NEPHEW IS MORE ALIKE CALEB IN OTHER WAYS THAN LOOKS ALONE!
Unless there was a reason of absolute that caused Belos to refrain from killing Hunter, if he has a use for him he no longer can get from anything or anyone else (making a new grimwalker might not be on the table anymore, for one), I think it would just be a matter of time before he kills Hunter too.
Put a mental pin in this note: No new grimwalkers mean no new person to exercise his cycle of reliving trauma and self-abuse with.
I don't think there is anything Hunter could've done. He would never have been who and what Belos wanted. Belos would have killed him.
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I think the psychology, if I may be so bold and a little controversial here, is that Philip has a genuine trauma (as per definition of it) in regards to Caleb.
Here's something about trauma, yeah? It's not just innocent people who get it. Awful, horrible, people get trauma too. Sometimes, they are awful horrible people because of trauma.
In Philip's case, I think he was traumatized by the abandonment - as well as the humongous moral injury on top of it when finding out his brother chose to leave him and was happier now.
Side note: You know when you have a bully, then you grow up and you've had this awful life because you were traumatised by this person's abuse to you. In whatever extent it was. Could've been one moment, or a long period of time. Whatever it was, it left a significant mark on you that stagnated your life. As an adult, you look them up. Surely, a person who does that can't just... move on, right? There must have been karma, something! Anything! Divine justice! Nope. They just have a happy life, this whole time. People even love them.. And there you are. Broken.
Kind of the same vibe but a bit to the left.
Did you know that killers suffer ptsd?
It makes sense. Soldiers does! They're just people in war. But killers, you know, people who kill in self-defence or set out to kill for whatever reason in the context of regular society (and not in lines of war or duty). They actually, majority of the time, get trauma from it.
Soldiers don't need to have psychopathic tendencies to be able to kill another human being. Nobody does.
I don't think Belos began as a psychopath, 'nor a sociopath or a narcissist. I think he is a normal dude, whom due to trauma and repetitive re-living of that trauma has skewed his view of reality to such an extreme that he frankly just.... is functionally delusional.
He is a smart dude, who got crazy and scary, because he is delusional, wounded and functional.
Belos seeks his trauma out in a new setting where he has control over what happens. He sets it up the same every time. Has the same result every time.
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He is a self-abuser.
Sometimes people seek out to revisit the trauma they experience, but in a way where they are in control of what happens.
Serial killers are interesting in this factor. Especially if we go by the stereotypical reason why male serial killers do what they do - Developing a need to impose power and murder the person they cant actually murder. Projecting to the extremes. At it's core, it's just the chase to impose power over a situation they had no power in.
In Belos case, is by all accounts a serial killer! ...With delusions of grandeur and lives in a delusional version of what reality actually is.
He absolutely slots right into that.
Consciously or not, he's trying to exert control over Caleb, the person who caused his trauma and, in his eyes, his abuse. Caleb leaving was, to Belos, abuse. By definition anyway, yeah. Unfortunately, if it hurts the person, yeah. That doesn't mean Caleb owes him shit though.
Killing Caleb was, most likely, very traumatic.
So, the moral injury of betrayal, coupled with murdering Caleb, possibly caused this cycle of murder.
I know some people are going to read this and cringe all "Don't call it trauma" but it is. It is trauma. Trauma is not some moral debate, it's an injury on the psyche or emotional state, your soul even. It is a wound.
And wounds can heal, and they can.. like in Belos case... Just escalate and consume them.
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Belos just didn't fucking COPE.
Like, this would have been so different if he just COPED. But he has no friends, no family, he's isolated and wounded and single minded and scientific. It's all the right and wrong things to shape him into a dude that... did. not. cope.
And being HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLD just living and breathing and doing NOTHING ELSE than committing your ENTIRE EXISTENCE to this repetition... This wound.. Dissecting it over and over and over and over AND OVER.. Well...! There he is!
Belos, everyone!
What a dick. :V
People rarely want to discuss the ugly of mental illness. And the horrible people trauma can create.
In no shape or form am I excusing Belos behaviour or actions, just explaining the road it might've gotten there.
Again, it's not just the innocents that can have trauma.
I've personally met people who just.. They're an endless cycle. They were traumatized, they became not-so-great people... Never coped. Made it their whole identity.
And they think, because they're hurting; it's fair game to hurt others. Because to them it's not reaaal hurt. Because only victims hurt, right? And they were a victim once, they feel like a victim, they still live in that role.
And abusers are bad, victims are good. So they will never admit that they can do wrong. In their mind, they're the good guy forever. And you saying otherwise means you must be a bad one.
Some people, not all and not majority, finds control and comfort in remaining the victim - meaning they can never ever be the abuser in their mind either. Thus, starting a new cycle where they hand out abuse in the disguise of "love" or demanding "love" from someone.
Belos, absolutely, sees himself as the good guy. The one who was BETRAYED. He fails to see that he is betraying his brother, his long line of nephews- his own humanity even.
Everyone else (grimwalkers) is the bad guy if they don't become the one to heal them (belos), or cater to their needs.
Suddenly, it's your job to ensure they're okay, not hurting. And you will, because you love them. Right? If you didn't, you're a bad person. And you don't want to be that, do you? Disappoint them?
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Belos, also, by repeatedly committing the murder of his brother is continuously abusing himself and re-traumatising himself. Death and empathy would wain and fade out. With practice comes perfection.
Basically he's training himself to feel less, because he has deluded himself into thinking the inhabitants of the Demon Realm aren't actual people - so it's okay. To him. To kill them.
And by murdering, and feeling less empathy per murder, coupled with his scientific desire to explore and dissect to understand as a way to (like doctors do) dehumanise the carcass he's working on, it's no wonder he started feeling less empathy.
And saw this growing lack of empathy as... Well, proof. Proof he's right. They aren't people.
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With all this being said...
I don't think this is something he could repent from. It would take twice the time it took for him to get to this point. What? 300-400 years? so... 600-800 more just to give him a chance to repent?
Now, could HE heal from it? I'm sure he could. But that would not include being forgiven or going without punishment - if that punishment is death, yeah. sorry man. Off with your head.
ANYWAY.
Hunter and his uncle.
Belos abuse exerted upon Hunter is, in many forms, guided to shape Hunter into being the version of Caleb Belos wants Caleb to be.
But, also having this subconscious understanding that this boy is NOT his brother, and calling him his nephew and even giving him a name that symbolises what he wishes Caleb to be (Hunter, Witch Hunter. You could even say the GG is a general - so, witch hunter general).
All of this, possibly, as deranged as it is - in an attempt to reverse the roles.
Belos gets to be Caleb (the person who held "power" in the dynamic), gets to be admired, the way Philip admired his brother, which is now Hunter loving his uncle.
While still weirdly parading his nephew as his brother.
I think the psychology is layered in several ways here.
He he is forcing Hunter to be all of the vulnerable parts of his own younger self, while also forcing him to be everything he wanted his older brother to be. Making Hunter both an embodiment of what he hates in himself as well as what he admired in Caleb.
A very contradictory combo that, no doubt, would make Hunter's life hell to try understand - it's not a secure attachment, to have a violently out bursting parental figure that flip-flops between loving what you do for them but hating a vague invisible something you'll never understand that you also are.
Hunter's familial love is genuine, I don't doubt Belos has familial feelings towards Hunter. But I think, because he is so desensitised and on some level of delusion knows the grimwalkers will never be "good enough", that he is both emotionally and mentally prepared to watch life exit his nephew's eyes. So the attachment isn't a normal one.
He reduce it to the degree of putting the family dog out. Like "oh, it does hurt me, but I can get a new dog." kind of feelings.
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Which is like, holy shit dude. What the actual hell is wrong with you.
But that's just... That's who the trauma has turned him into.
Yeah...!
Yeah!
I mean.. I'm not surprised..! Are you?
Humans can create the worst of monsters. Not because they have a negatively affiliated diagnosis like narcissism. But because the conditions were just right (or wrong) enough to make this genocidal maniac.
:l
So, long answer made short:
As a man of repetitive patterns - I'd say he'd kill him.
just straight up bye bye nephew. <:')
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THIS WAS LONGER THAN EXPECTED.... I'M GOING TO HAVE LUNCH NOW.
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foursaints · 4 months
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Okay so I've been having thought and questions banging around my mind ever since this ask: https://foursaints.tumblr.com/post/738638080179896320/ok-wait-building-on-my-last-ask-bartys-mannerisms#notes
and i was wondering if you have any thoughts on him when it comes to showering? to like actually having to interact with his body in a really intimate way?? im just so curious to know if youve reflected on this and what you have in mind when it comes down to it. also does he.....touch himself?
firstly there is always the bone motif barty’s bodily autonomy post. but grim made a post here that touches on it a little that i really enjoy.
the way i try to relate to barty is like. in hp we know the soul/"self" is both 1) something that exists 2) is separate from the body. unlike everybody else (as a result of imperius for years, azkaban, polyjuice, the dementor's kiss) barty doesn't really... have a concrete self? if he does its this sorry stifled underdeveloped thing. i mean this narratively speaking not how he personally feels about it. but if everyone else has a soul INSIDE a body, barty is just the body. he IS whatever shape his container is taking (consider imperius, where your inner world=hearing the commands your body is following)(consider how indistinguishable he was from moody. thats probably natural to him)
but we also know that he's clever and manipulative and arrogant and all that despite. so i think the way he sees his body is deeply fucked up (i mean, its Literally a prison) but its also literally all he has. he cant not coexist with it or he has nothing lol... i think he subconsciously views his body mostly as a Tool by which to achieve Ends that he is always Hyper Aware of like he knows exactly what is where and what its doing down to an insane level.
to answer the questions i think he goes through private intimate moments (showering, masturbation) in a manner thats pretty matter-of-fact but otherwise seems outwardly ""normal""? mechanical? its not his Body itself but the conditions under which his body has been used that are traumatizing. he’s still deeply weird & distant about it just not in a way he’s conscious of. he completely lacks normal body insecurities though (“am i ugly” type stuff) like thats just not in the cards for him bc of the Tool thing.
and yet he is still a human being despite!! and i really believe that a little bit under all of that baggage whenever he gets to be alone with himself in those ways its a little heart breaking. peaceful but also terrible? tender but distant? probably his only body-related happy memory is his mother washing him as a child or something. it reminds him of that.
modern au barty is a totally different beast with this stuff though. that guy jerks off like 6 times a day
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dumping-ideas · 6 months
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im impressed by all the Tsukasa questions you get, hes such a strange little fellow And i also have a question about him lol
I feel like tsukasas the kind of person whose willing to confide in others about his problems (which i think hes openly said), namely the troupe, and if its minor enough, Saki and/or Toya as well. i always got the impression that he thinks he must always be the big brother/leader no matter what because thats really what he was his whole life, i mean he didnt have many to rely on as a child either, did he? Now maybe i just have bad memory, but i dont think hes ever confided in anyone about his childhood? i believe in dazzling stage he was able to sort of heal from the sorrow he felt as a child, but that was all. like. *just* him, no? i always thought the majority of the tsukasa angst written about in the fandom was greatly exaggerated, one of them being how he bottles up his problems, but what im asking is, is that really so far from how he actually is? i think the main thing he feels he just cant talk to others about is his past i feel is a very very important part of his character
i didnt mean for this to be so long my apologies 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️
No no no, thank you for the ask! I'm sorry it took me this long to answer(┬┬_┬┬)
I'm also of the opinion that Tsukasa does know how to share his problems (mainly show related), but his upbringing certainly influences how he grows up to be so independent. We know that Tenma parents love both children but I believe that concession had to have been made in the past. Like leaving Tsukasa alone lots of time, Tsukasa visiting Saki most of the time (like it took Ichika 2 hours by train just to go there iirc and she's accompanied by her mom, Tsukasa probably just goes back and forth as often as he could), etc. And because Tsukas also knows that not sharing his problem might make others worry about him even more, so he's fine with letting them know on a need-to-know basis.
And you're totally right! All WxS know is that Saki was sick and hospitalized a lot, so Tsukasa wants to make her smile through shows.... That's it. Other info WxS gets about Tsukasa's past is mainly from Saki, Toya, and Shizuku, not from Tsukasa himself.
While Tsukasa knows how to ask for help, he doesn't really confide his personal issues with other people. Like how he doesn't tell anyone that yeah he felt lonely and sad when Saki was hospitalized and how he just buried those feelings deep inside because they hurt, or how he feels so powerless because his dream just feels so far away. Heck, even in Our Happy Ending we just finally get Tsukasa admitting that parting with WxS makes him feels lonely and it's for Emu to admit her own feelings and cry in front of them. Tsukasa is being vulnerable because he wants Emu to be vulnerable in front of them as well. That's just how much Emu and WxS means to him.
And well, angstkasa definitely amped up the angst to eleven, but I personally think canon Tsukasa just doesn't think much about his problem? Canon Tsukasa problem is that sometimes he's rushing through things--partly due to his personality and partly due to how he just doesn't process his negative emotions that much. And canon tsukasa doesn't really share what he's doing/feeling as long as it doesn't hinder their shows and his family & friends (everyone is surprised when they found out that tsukasa met the otori brothers alone to ask for more opportunities outside wonder stage). I get the feeling that he thinks sharing positive feelings is fine but sharing negative feelings is something that happens just when it's necessary.
About bottling up problems, canon tsukasa tends to go like this:
"Oh, this feels painful/difficult"
Option 1: "I have to do something to remedy it myself!" & Option 2: "It's not important right now so let's just forget about it! (but it's still there)"
Option 1 usually results in him doing things himself without anyone knowing the underlying problem
Continuation of option 2: "Why is this still a problem? Damn, it hinders our show."
"Maybe it's okay to ask for some advice? Just enough so it can help our show without troubling the others that much"
"Okay, I'll try to solve it myself with your advice" => by Phoenix Edge WxS is helping and watching over Tsukasa in this step! This is progress!
SELF-REFLECTION or inner monologue about how it hurts very much but he got this! For everyone and for the show!
"THANK YOU EVERYONE" (doesn't elaborate any further)
Tsukasa doesn't do bottling up problems, he just doesn't think it's a problem while it is very much a problem. Rui realizes it in Pop in My Heart, and Emu and Nene is aware of it by Dazzling Stage. That's why they're so supportive of Tsukasa in Phoenix Edge, and how they become much kinder towards Tsukasa now (especially after the update). Unless Tsukasa being full of himself or an embarrassment, they didn't really tease/prank him that much compared to before.
I think the most noticeable evidence is how both EN and JP fandoms thought Rui would tease Tsukasa over their height difference, only for the official team to say "no, current Rui would not do that, he likes to see Tsukasa smiles". AND THAT'S A HUGE IMPROVEMENT!!! Now, WxS is learning how Tsukasa ticks--even Nene's tongue isn't as poisonous as it was before. Tsukasa learns how to be okay by himself growing up, and now WxS is learning how to let Tsukasa not-be-okay in his own pace. They've seen him being depressed and ruminating his problem by himself right before their very eyes after all, so I guess they're learning to be softer so he would loosen up around them and more willing to share his feelings if he's up for it. The problem is that Emu, Nene, and Rui is also still learning how to push, while for Tsukasa there's nothing to push (while it actually stacks in the corner to be processed later).
Besides, I think Tsukasa just thinks that his past isn't that necessary to be shared as long as he remembers his true feelings. But yeah, it's a huge part of Tsukasa's character, actually. He doesn't really share his personal feelings and past as long as it's not necessary. It's interesting how WxS story also deals about "you're not alone anymore, so don't hesitate to rely on us about anything" while the group leader is more of a "need-to-know basis" in terms of opening up lol.
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definitelynotshouting · 9 months
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I’ve been trying to grasp why I’ve been so in love with hunger au, and it wasn’t until looking up the lyrics to ‘ibuprofen’ to try and spoil the next chapter for myself (I am very good at making things up) that I figured out why.
Your World building is beautiful and I’m a massive sci-fi fan I thought that was why I was originally so invested, but I realized that the entire story (as of rn) can be read as a metaphor for a type of personality disorder?
This isn’t me saying that the story MUST be a metaphor, or even that you intentionally wrote it like that, but goddamn it does click some button in me like oh!!
Sometimes w personality disorders it feels like all you can do is hurt people. You’re carefully restricting your actions and expressions so you dont ever get too comfortable and hurt someone, but you inevitably fail and all you can do is feel bad because you were able to be yourself and meet some kind of internal satisfaction but the result is other people being hurt and you still aren’t happy cause that’s inherently a bad thing.
And then the logical conclusion is that you should never speak or hang out with people (or like. Live.) ever again because it’s not right to be hurting other people with your mere existence.
Idk if anyone else has mentioned this before but yeah that’s this for me lol. But!! Help exists!!! and Grian will get help too with his watcher tendencies after he realizes that his existence isn’t inherently detrimental and that there are solutions for his problems if he uses his big boy words and asks.
And no one will forgive him for what’s happened overnight, and those who forgive him will still have been hurt, and some of his relationships will be permanently altered because of the way he’s hurt them. But it’s not the end for him and it’s not the end for anyone else!!
Sorry this is so long! Idk if I should tag anything sensitive in case you decide to respond so Ima leave that to you— I’m a tumblr lurker I’ve been here for years but never commented on anything lol. Ty for the story, keep living laughing and loving (It’s what Grian would want apparently) and have a good one!
placing some obligatory tws here for those with post filtering: tw for discussions of mental health, personality disorders, and minor suicidal ideation (in the ask)
alright with that out of the way this is actually really validating for me to hear bc a lot of what you're seeing in this has been inserted very deliberately. While its not intended to fully be a metaphor for having a personality disorder, a lot of what's been depicted does draw on that, so im really glad this resonates with you!!
At its heart and core, hunger au is about the raw process of recovery, and how grueling but ultimately rewarding it is to commit to getting better. Showing this process through the fic is, i suppose, my way of holding the hand of everyone who is struggling with their own recovery and saying "i see you. i understand. you arent alone."
I cant overstate how humbled i am by everyone who has taken the time to tell me how theyve seen themselves in hunger au. And the fic is just getting started!!! The fact that people are resonating this hard with it at only 5 chapters in just blows me away. Its everything ive wanted for this fic. Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, because im truly so grateful that i am making an impact with it, no matter how small or personal.
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sensei-venus · 1 year
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How would Alpha! Hawk react to his chubby omega gf being pregnant? He would be so touchyyy 😫
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(Unedited)(Fem!Omega)
•He notices the changes in her behavior and scent pretty fast. But he mostly takes note of how her body starts to fill out more in certain areas. He notices how her already wide hips are wider then normal, how her belly is slightly harder then normal. All things he questions could be signs of pregnancy.
•When they realize her period doesn't show up or a scheduled heat, they decide to take a test just to be safe. Alpha! Hawk is all over her, he wants to leave her be to take the test but he can't help but hold her hand as they both sit in the bathroom waiting for the results on the little plastic stick. It feels like forever as they wait for the results. When they flip the test over and find it to read positive, Hawk is all over her. He cant help but kiss all over her face. He doesn't care, both of them are crying happy tears on the bathroom floor together.
•He goes to every doctors appointment with her, hates the idea of missing anything. He loves getting to hear the pups heart beat at every check up and getting to see the ultrasound pictures. When they get the screen shots of the pup he gets copies, he's got one in his wallet, one in his car and one at work that he keeps in his locker. He loves showing everyone his pup when ever he gets a chance to show them new pictures.
•He loves scenting, even more then he did before. He likes to come up behind his omega and just wrap his arms around her growing bump and just scent her neck. Loves the way her scent has changed, it's thick and sweet from the pregnancy. Sometimes he even swears he can smell her milk coming in even before she's leaking. It's comforting.
•Super touchy during the whole pregnancy, can’t keep his hands off her. He’s sad that her rolls are slowly disappearing and he can’t hold on or grab them like he use to. But he loves running his hand over her growing bump. The smooth skin against his palm is heaven to him. He loves to rub lotion on their belly as they get bigger. He wants to make sure they are always relaxed and the skin of their belly is well moisturized so their skin doesn’t start tearing. The weight of the baby is already getting to them, they don’t need the pain of stretched out tummy skin to add onto it.
•Even before the pregnancy he liked to lay his head on his omegas soft plush tummy, that doesn’t change. Because their bump keeps getting bigger and bigger as time goes on it gets hard, but he still does it. He rests his head on their bump when in bed. He secretly gets excited when he can hear the baby inside his omega. When they actually start moving around, he’s over the moon. He loves watching them visible move around inside the omegas belly. It just reminds him that they are really in there, alive and healthy inside his pretty omega.
•Always tells her that she is the prettiest omega ever. With everyday that goes by he loves her even more, his heart just beats harder when she's around him. Seeing her round out in the hips and belly makes him preen, his inner alpha telling him he did good. Watching her waddle  around the house or when they go out.
•Takes her out all the time because he's protective and doesn't want her to go out alone. He doesn't stop her from going out when he's not around, but he feels safer when he's with her. Doesn't matter if it's some omega thing she wants to do, he's going with her. He can't keep his hands off her in public either. He always had a hand or arm on her at all times no matter what. Holding her hand, arm around her middle, hugs. He wants her in at least a arms distance at all times. Super scared of her getting bummped or pushed and fall because of balance.
•Hates when she gets upset about putting on weight. He liked her at the size she was before she got pregnant, and he likes the way she looks now too. Tries his best to always make it known that he loves her and her growing body. Constantly reminds her that she is literally helping to grow a whole person. Reminds her that the baby needs to eat to get bigger and grow, so they can be healthy. Too him, her putting on weight is a good sign that their pup is getting enough nutrients and care.
•When her belly finally fills out completely, he can't help but touch it all the time. During the last stages of pregnancy he is all over her 24/7. And he loves cuddling with her, he loves how soft she is now even with a tight belly. He's super careful of her tender and swollen breasts, but he loves laying in-between them. Loves resting his chin in her belly and laying his head in her breast is he can listen to her heart beat. When the baby kicks around he can't stop grinning and smiling as they just lay together. If he could he would just sit there for hours.
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alicentsgf · 1 year
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When it comes to choice or illusions of choice with Rhaenyra, I am very conflicted because she is in this political shitstorm and etc because of her own bad choices. But a sametime the one who enabled her (Viserys) allowed to is to happen and should have stop this a long time ago. So I’m stuck between Rhaenyea made her own bad and her father utterly failed her as parent and King. So bit of both.
yeah i feel like the truth that she harmed her own cause by being politically inept, and that it was her fathers fault, as well as the idea she had no real choice can all sort of co-exist?
she is politically a total mess, no doubt about that. you can easily argue that was the root of her spectacular downfall and i would agree she allowed for the extent of the bloodshed with her poor decisions. but its also true that she would have faced opposition and derision either way. and thats the point of the story.
i get so annoyed with her over her decisions because she does undermine herself, but ultimately otto and the rest were attempting to take that crown either way. and though i think she could have won the crown back if she'd been a better political agent... that doesnt mean her choices werent somewhat illusions; we see this in alicent - being the very antithesis of rhaenyra doesnt work either. the world still would have torn into her somehow like it does alicent for being everything that rhaenyra isnt.
its the whole madonna/whore thing. women are shamed for sex. or shamed for not having it. shamed for their interests. or for not having any. shamed for engaging. shamed if they dont. you can only ever be one of two things, and whichever you choose you cant win. i'd argue that rhaenyra would have been demonised by history even if she were the best possible ruler just for displaying attributes necessary in a monarch, but considered ugly in a woman. she would have been held to an impossible standard.
so would rhaenyra's story have ended well if she'd been all duty and sacrifice instead? probably not imo. i think the result would have been less bloody but who knows by how much. eventually the nature of the world would have caught up to her in some way. one particularly bad misstep and she could have seen rebellion or the like (one reason alicents fears for her sons are valid - they would have been a rallying point for inevitable dissenters and rhaenyra/her supporters might have felt it necessary to remove them as figureheads). and this is such a double standard because with Viserys (who has a very similar attitude to ruling) everyone just let him do as he pleased, the lords were happy to make things easy for him, and there were no consequences for that he experienced personally. (think of how men get to move on from whatever public scandal they were part of whilst the women are forced to lie in the festering remnants for the rest of their natural lives. we all know its true.)
thats what i mean about the illusion of choice - i will continue to point out how stupid some of rhaenyras decisions were because i think they led to the bloodiest possible outcome, but she really was set up to fail in many ways. she could never truly win, no matter her choices.
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mamadarama · 2 months
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Thanks to the ask game, I discovered you kind of like kuroshu… do you have any particular hc about them?
I also want to thank you for this blog. Your posts are able to make me laugh even after a long day at work 💕
i do like kuroshu a lot!! i dont think theyre dating though because if i have a ship thats not complicated and specific my guts will start twisting around themselves and ill die. i hc shu as aroace , with the sole exception of confusing and conflicting feelings for kuro in particular that he doesnt understand and tries to ignore , because hes never felt anything even remotely similar for anyone ever in his whole life, and cant tell if thats what love feels like or not. (its not, its actually more akin to infatuation but he doesnt know that, or the difference between them for that matter)
kuro does have a crush on shu but its very much like the kind of crush youd have on your childhood best friend as a result of loving them so much you start to question it . its not something he feels the need to act on, and hes comfortable with how things are between them now . he knows about shus little internal conflict and tries his best to support him as carefully as he can without adding fuel to the fire.
also, im glad to hear that, it makes me happy to know so many people enjoy my silly little personal sideblog as much as i like running it :]
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Jubilation analysis.
The episodes starts with Marinette jogging and noticing Mr. Damocles as The Owl, who is performing a risky attempt at saving a cat at the top of a billboard, of course this nearly gets him seriously hurt as he very easily looses his balance and falls from the billboard, resulting in his cape snagging on the ladder. Marinette sees a girl show up wearing a Ladybug costume and climbs up the billboard to help Mr. Damocles, who believes she is the real Ladybug. 
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Socqueline was a former classmate of Marinette’s but when Marinette sees Socqueline in the Ladybug costume, she’s not to sure if its her just yet. Despite Socqueline’s good intentions, her attempts to pretend she is the real Ladybug and run around Paris to perform risky heroic duties, leaves Marinette worried that she is setting herself up for dangers she cant handle, which is the same situation Mr. Damocles has been putting himself in.
 Of course Marinette does try to quickly confront her about the matter of her possibly impersonating Ladybug by attempting to lead her into conversations that could get her to admit she was dressed as Ladybug, unfortunately, this does not go so well as Socqueline manages to avoid saying anything that could confirm Marinette's suspicions.
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Marinette takes note of the alliance ring on Socqueline’s finger and is surprised by  just how realistic the digital Adrien is, making her feel a little conflicted about how Adriens image is still being used for modeling purposes. 
When the subject of people trying to be superheroes like Ladybug and Cat Noir comes up, Socqueline is unable to understand that peoples attempts to mimic heroes like Ladybug is to dangerous and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong in doing things just like them if it means they are helping the real Ladybug.
Of course Ladybug does encourage others to do what they can to help and be heroes in their own way, but when those people are unable to see that they are putting themselves in serious danger in order to risk mimicking the actions of the real superheroes themselves and forget that they are just regular people who do not posses magic suits that can protect them, well, that’s when it becomes a problem.
(don’t try this at home kids, pic from “Origins part 1″)
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As Marinette tries to explain the reasoning behind why others shouldn’t try to be like Ladybug in every way, Socqueline tells her that even though it might be risky doing the same things Ladybug does, being willing to step up and take action just like the superheroes is worth the risk if it means changing things for the better. Marinette understood her message well in the past, but her experience as Ladybug has completely changed her outlook on what it means to be a real superhero who is watching others want to live her life and put themselves in similar dangers just to be heroes like them and save others, leading to a very interesting reaction from Marinette that reveals some bottled up feelings as she tries to explain how people do not  understand that Ladybug does not want to see others endanger themselves and that their actions can lead to consequences the superheroes will inevitably need to fix. Wanting to do everything a real superhero does is not as great and as simple as some people thinks it is.
 Marinette’s talk about why people shouldn't jump at the idea of being heroes just like Ladybug, makes Mr. Damocles believe that she is jealous and secretly wants to be a hero, to which Marinette very quickly and without hesitation responds by saying that she doesn’t and is thankful for being a normal girl with a normal life and that everyone should be happy for the same thing. 
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Marinette's response really gives us a deeper insight to how she feels about living a normal life within the the life of a superhero. Due to her life as a real superhero, Marinette can no longer be just a normal girl with a normal life and as much as she knows other people, like Socqueline and Mr. Damocles, have the desire to live the life of a real superhero, it is her job as Ladybug that is very slowly revealing to her the fact that even though she wants to do so many things in her normal life, she can’t focus all her attention on what she wants to do, she can’t have the kind of life everyone else has, she has to balance being a superhero and a normal girl and that’s very very hard. 
Marinette learned to embrace being the superhero she never thought she wanted to be, but even she has begun to realize that its not all that its cracked up to be as she has experienced first hand the unfortunate consequences, responsibilities and burdens of a hero, and so to see all these other people feel eager to share the same superhero life she has, makes her upset over why on earth anyone would want that kind of life and not enjoy just living and loving their normal lives while they can and being heroes in their own way?
 When Marinette says these things about how dangerous it is to risk mimicking real superheroes and being happy to just be normal, of course it makes Mr. Damocles feel down as he does not wish to be limited to being just a normal man, he wants to be a superhero like Knight Owl, Ladybug and Cat Noir, but considering what happened when he nearly fell off from the billboard and was saved by “Ladybug”, Mr. Damocles has now begun to realize a very cruel reality he has avoided for a very long time, which is that he really is just a normal guy and his reckless actions may be causing more harm than good, to himself and the heroes of Paris.
As Socqueline takes Mr. Damocles away to help him shop, Marinette decides to use Socqueline’s alliance ring to look at the path of her steps around Paris and finds that she really was at the billboard the same time she saw the fake ladybug, confirming her suspicions. But as she leaves to deal with some flying dinosaurs, she forgets that she is still wearing the alliance ring, which is now currently keeping track of her steps throughout Paris!
And surprise surprise, Gabriel decided to use the alliance rings features to keep tabs on all the Parisians who bought them and be alerted the moment any of the rings record anything that is beyond the abilities of a normal human. 
(having dead/comatose wife as avatar to talk to?, *checks square on bingo card*)
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Gabriel cant identify Ladybug in her civilian form, but because Ladybug was wearing Socqueline’s ring, he immediately assumes that she is the real Ladybug after seeing the crazy distance Socqueline’s rings says she covered in a matter of minutes, all of which happened during the exact time Ladybug appeared to deal with the flying dinosaurs. When Marinette realizes that the alliance ring kept track of her movements as Ladybug, she freaks out and worries that Socqueline will suspect something, but in the end she just thinks its a bug in the system and reboots the ring. 
While Marinette was away to deal with the dinosaurs, Mr. Damocles pondered over his actions as The Owl and how it is causing trouble. Socqueline tries to comfort him by explaining to him that what happened at the Billboard with him and “Ladybug” was not a problem so long as no one got hurt and that so long as he continues in his true mission in life, then he is already being as heroic as can be, his mission being to be a good principal to his school, which sadly was not what Mr. Damocles wanted to hear, he wants to be a superhero. So to hear Socqueline say his true heroic duty is being a principal, it makes him feel like she was basically telling him to give up being The Owl, something which he considered to be his true calling in life.
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When Monarch senses Mr. Damocles’s negative emotions from a far distance, we see that he uses the new miraculous rings to touch the cages of the kwami and draw them into the rings.  Kwamis have always had the ability to work around technology, it can’t detect them and they can easily pass through any forms of technology to mess around with it, like how Tikki fazed through the elevator door to open it for Marinette and Adrien back in “Obliviio” , and it seems like Gabriel has learned to harness the kwamis abilities to transfer their power through the alliance rings to temporarily allow his akumatized villains to use the power of the miraculous without actually carrying the jewels.
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 Although Socqueline didn’t take Marinette's word about how dangerous it is to mimic Ladybug and the other heroes of Paris, it’s in that very moment where she is confronted by a real villain, Darker Owl, that she begins to understand what Marinette said.
As she tries to explain to Darker Owl that she only dresses up as ladybug and was never the real one, Darker Owl quickly uses the power of jubilation on Socqueline which reveals that her deepest desire is essentially the same as Mr. Damocles, which is to be recognized for her heroic efforts to the point of finally being recognized by the heroes of Paris themselves and be called on to fight alongside them as a real superhero.
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Although Monarch and Darker Owl realize Socqueline was never Ladybug, Monarch decides to instead use her as bait to lure the real Ladybug out.
After seeing a good portion of Marinette, we finally get a look at what Adrien is up to and it is not good. Due to the events of Destruction, Adrien has now entered a state of depression as he struggles knowing that his cataclysm hurt another human being. With all that guilt weighing down on him we see by the contents of his messy room that he’s been trying not to think about what happened with Monarch, but can’t .
(not the depression room :( )
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As Ladybug and Cat Noir try to fight off Darker Owl, the two of them accidentally get hit with the power of Jubilation at the same time. The power throws the both of them into a dream like state where they watch their deepest desires play out. The power of jubilation was able to affect the both of them and throw them into the same trance because unbeknownst to them, they both share the same desire, which is to be together and live happily with one another. 
They don’t know each others identities but the power of jubilations didn’t need to show them that, it just showed them what they desire most. The crazy thing about this is watching how both of their desires overlap, its Marinette's desire to not only defeat Monarch, but also be with the one she loves (Adrien) and one day get married and have a family with him. It’s Adrien’s desire to finally defeat Monarch so he can be with the one he loves(Ladybug, who is actually Marinette) and runaway together to get away from everything and live on an island, and so when those two things come together we see the two of them realize something they never thought to consider.
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Ladybug saw that a life with Cat Noir as her lover actually leads to a wonderful and quiet life, while Cat Noir realized that having a family with Ladybug and being a loving and devoted father gives him a sense of happiness he never though was possible. And so to be able to live normal and happy lives together no matter where they go and what they have to deal with as heroes, made them feel like they finally accomplished a happy ending they likely felt they had to learn to re-evaluate or give up on.
(yeah yeah, goofy mustache, funny fake baby blah blah blah)
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Of course the two of them remain completely unaware of the fact that they are stuck in a dream and that the battle against Darker owl is still going on. Ladybug does eventually realize everything is just a dream as she finally takes note of all the alarm clocks ringing(her lucky charm), but at this point the two of them are in to deep, to us it might seem funny to see them care for doll babies and for Cat Noir to have a silly moustache all while they stay the same age, but that’s only from our point of view to show us this was all fake. To them, these babies were 100% real, they spent years together and they got older, time passed and all those moments we saw play out like a dream wasn’t a dream to them, it felt like it all really happened! 
And so to find out that none of it was real and would all be taken away in an instant, well, of course Cat Noir would refuse to let it be taken away from him, this is the life he always wanted and never knew he could have, the same goes for Ladybug, but now that reality is setting in, the two of them know that they have to put their duty as heroes first and continue to face Monarch and his villains together.
(ice cream represents Ladybug and Cat Noir finally together) 
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(reality of their situation sets in as “In the rain” plays, *flips table* cries)
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(let this be a lesson to everyone who underestimated the power of the Pig miraculous)
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This is the power of the Pig miraculous, it has the power to show people their greatest desires, but when in the wrong hands, it can make a person see, feel and remember an entire life around that desire, it can take the most personal of information like emotions, dreams, and wishes and show a person exactly what they want and what they never knew they wanted, then play it out in the best way possible. But it can just as easily take it all away, leaving you an emotional wreck who is desperate to keep the life and the world it showed you. 
Once Cat Noir does come back to reality he becomes enraged at  Darker owl for using the pigs power to toy with their feelings, so much in fact that he even considers straight up using his cataclysm on Darker Owl rather than return him to normal!
(Cat Noir NOOO!!!!)
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Ladybug stops him from doing this of course, but as Cat Noir Comes back to his senses we see that he feels ashamed for what he almost did and saddened that his happy ending was taken away from him. There aren’t that many things that can push Cat Noir to the point of actually being willing to consider hurting someone else, but being shown a life where he experienced all the happiness he never knew he could have and then suddenly see it stripped away from him in just a moment is definitely high up on that list. Its as if season 5 is hinting that Cat Noir is being pushed more and more into purposely using his Cataclysm on others, how this will all play out in the end is anyone’s guess, but we all have reason to be worried.
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To make things even sadder, we see that both Ladybug and Cat Noir hope their dream wasn’t all fake as Ladybug checks Mr. Damocles’s pocket, the very pocket they dreamt had a clue to Monarch’s location. Although they succeeded in saving the day, this victory was not something to end on a “pound it” to mark a job well done as the two become to emotionally drained after seeing so much be taken away from them, even if it wasn’t real.
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Once Mr. Damocles is freed of the akuma, the pigs power is removed from his ring and Daizzi reappears in her cage to be fed food pellets to recover. This is how Gabriel intends to force the kwamis to live so long as they are with him.
( Gabriel you monster, give them sandwiches or something! :’( ) 
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As Ladybug makes sure Socqueline is ok,  Soqueline contemplates everything that happened and apologizes for impersonating her (which is what they believed lead Monarch to pursue Soqueline). Of course Ladybug understands that she only wanted to help but explains that she would prefer people like her help in their own way without constantly endangering themselves. 
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After Ladybug comforts and praises Soquelines heroic efforts and ends on a good note with her, Marinette returns home and discovers that her mom bought an alliance ring for her, but due to what happened with Soquelines ring when it tracked her movements as Ladybug, Marinette decides to let her mom keep it now that she knows having a piece of technology like that will only endanger her secret as Ladybug, she doesn’t know that Monarch used the rings to try and find her.
Near the end of the episode, as Ladybug and Cat Noir ponder over what they experienced under the effects of the pigs power, they accept the reality that it was all fake but secretly wonder if it could still happen in real life. These events make Ladybug realize something she has been trying to avoid, especially ever since Cat Blanc told her their love destroyed Paris, which is that she might really have feelings for Cat Noir. However, these events also makes Cat Noir realize that his love for Ladybug can be used against him and others in terrible ways. The only thing keeping the two of them from being together without leading to disaster again is of course, Gabriel/Monarch. They do not understand why they both saw the same things but Ladybug tries to believe Monarch messed with the pig miraculous and learned a trick to better get to them.
(The two sit as “In the rain” continues to play. No one touch me! *cries*)
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That’s it for now, what an emotional rollercoaster this was, well, see you next episode!
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mysticetus · 2 years
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Regarding the locker- that would make sense. In the messages he leaves for her hes a weird mix of genuine regret and having a grudge. Like he does things like set her talk sound to a bell as a reminder of her old name, and says shes not tiara but also seems deeply regretful
Then again we dont know what he said in that ‘happy birthday belle’ message but I suspect it got censored due to being overly spiteful/cruel
Ive always interpreted tiara as just rejecting the premise of the rebirthing ritual outright, like she never saw it as something meaningful like rainer did and thus ‘gave up halfway’. She defines her identity on her own terms and in the end thats the lesson she imparts on paul and allows them to defeat marvin. So with her more nuanced understanding of identity she might have disagreed with the idea of just tossing items like the new life letter down the big hole, as if they were part of a totally different life
To circle back to marvins sprite- one thing that sticks out to me is how it’s basically the same color pallete as the grass of the newmaker plane. Perhaps it was done like that to make him seem more ominous as it makes him look kinda formless when walking around the plane
whether rainer genuinely feels regret over belle is dubious. im inclined to believe he at least partially feels bad, and i dont think he actually intends to sound spiteful or hurt her in any way, rather he has an extremely misguided approach to "helping" children (which we see in how he attempts to help care as well) that usually neglects their true desires. i think this stems from him being so distraught over mike that he used belle and care as sort of stepping stones to experiment with the concept of "A B NLM" states and giving a child the ability to be reborn as someone new. he failed in this, hence "there are no changes, only replacements", or in paul's words, "some things you cant rewrite". coming to this conclusion and seeing the damage he did to the children only result in failure likely lead to his suicide, or it was one of the things at least ...
the censorship of the happy birthday message could be due to many reasons, if we're to believe the family is the one who censored it. still, they felt a need to include the "happy birthday" part of it. birthdays seem to be akin to rebirth, and there's one for each child with a tool on their table: mike's 7th, care's 5th, belle's ???, and lina's 9th. maybe the family simply didnt believe the rest of the message was worth including. we already know jill doesn't consider belle that huge a deal judging by how she didn't press paul for more info on her.
i really really like these insights on belle. she definitely offers a new contradictory take on identity that clashes with rainers. though belle seems to also take this to an extreme - as in, she has trouble moving on. she clings to things from the past, no matter how painful and traumatic. she has presumably kept her playstation on for 17 years straight despite only having one room to traverse. and, obviously, the locker. petscop is a growing organism but belle's locker has presumably sat stagnant all those years, and in turn it has created a safe haven for paul to place his own past into. it's like an anchor. rainer insists upon destroying the past entirely, while belle clings to it as if it's all she has. paul slaves over rainer's game but gets input from his sister and ultimately reaches a conclusion striking a balance between the two extremes: moving on, yet preserving what was shed.
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ghostbite0 · 2 years
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i cant remember which video it was, but in one of the descriptions you mentioned that there was a rumor bruce would be a villain in phase 5 or something and i am Looking. do u have any theories?
omg hi!! that was sooo long ago im not even sure what video that came from but im happy to provide a few!
i do think that if Bruce becomes a villain, it’d probably be a result of actions against Hulk or his mind just breaking down. i’ve seen people talk about the concept before, and i agree that the best way to go about it would be World War Hulk or even the introduction of Maestro, who is essentially an evil Hulk from an alternate future. seeing either comic run in the MCU would be really, really cool!
one theory i personally really like is that when Professor Hulk snapped the gauntlet in Endgame, he had a vision… not of the Soul Realm, but of his future self. Maestro! i think it would make a lot of sense if that’s why Bruce stopped being Professor Hulk; he’s trying to prevent that future, but the stress of it could make his mind break more and more. i would have to see what happens in “She-Hulk” to better explain this theory though! in general i like the concept of trying to prevent your future/destiny but that ultimately leads you straight to it, or being stuck in this sort of timeloop no matter what you do. its very sad and i want bruce/hulk to be sad in these films
another theory is more centered on World War Hulk. it technically already happened in the MCU, so i don’t really know what that would look like if the MCU does produce a WWH film… but betrayal is a key aspect of it, and Bruce/Hulk have been betrayed countless times before. maybe Bruce/Hulk would be purposely sent somewhere or locked up? or maybe they find out another character had something to do with a loved ones death. I’m not really sure! The Illuminati is a thing in the MCU now, so they could play a role too!
i don’t know if Bruce/Hulk becoming bad guys would be the best move especially after their development in the MCU, but i think Bruce and Hulk should go a little crazy. i think they deserve to after how they’ve been treated. i have no idea what route they would go with, but i think the best way is to have Bruce/Hulk go mad or insane or have them be betrayed by close friends or the Avengers or something like that… i’ll have to think more about this tbh!
thank you Anon for the ask! if anyone has any ideas or feedback, feel free to respond!
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yandere-sins · 2 years
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Hi!
Hope you are fine :)
So... i cant stop thinking about yan!Albedo creating his own darling. He is just so lonley and in need for love... so why not just make the perfect person himself by using alchemy? After a long time of research and work his dream comes true, his love comes alive. Albedo is so happy! Finally, someone just for himself.
But darling falls in love with someone else. Walking through Mondstadt they saw someone (Diluc, Kaeya idk) and their heart just skipped a beat. Poor Albedo can't stop himself from losing his mind completly
Hi! Thanks for chiming in! I love this concept ♥
Perhaps he just got curious about how to create a homunculus, putting himself on the same path as his own creator to explore a very different area of alchemy and get some answers to questions he has about himself and his late brother, especially after the traitor incident. He didn’t intend to get too attached, partly because Albedo thought he couldn’t possibly get attached to something that was like him, bare of emotions at the beginning even. But he kept trying, and eventually - finally! - you came to life. A little lost, a little cold, relying on him to stand and feed you, and though it’s such a strange situation, Albedo is up for the challenge of raising you properly. There really isn’t anyone who could do it better than him anyway, and through you, he’ll be able to answer the questions he has.
The time spent on Dragonspine becomes less lonely and cold quickly with another person at his side. He rarely experienced these emotions before, but now that you are always there, they can finally reach him. Everything gets a little better with a comment from you, and his experiments continue to thrive with another pair of eyes to watch them. You’re curious, but you learn quickly at the same time, and Albedo catches your interest with what he does. Suddenly you want to try your own experiments, and after one or two, he has taught you enough for you to make the proper deductions and eagerly work on your own. Albedo suddenly finds him interested in your projects more than his own, but since it’s all helping his bigger plan, it suits him well. He doesn’t realize that at the point that you are now, his creator left him instead of staying, which might just be Albedo’s biggest mistake.
You two work and stick together as if you had never been separated. He cooks, and you bring him a blanket when he’s reading so he can stay warm. Albedo always brings back enough paint for you two to draw together from his trips down the mountain, and you keep the cave warm and his experiments running while he’s gone. The conversations you two have are much more meaningful than he could have ever imagined, wondering how he managed to get by on his own for so long without someone to actually bounce ideas back and forth the way only you can do with him. Maybe he really has been lonely until now; perhaps he’s only now learning about all the other things that make life worthwhile.
Suddenly he catches himself sketching you even when you are not around. He constantly checks your records to see if he can add to your experiments, unable to help himself from glorifying how well you are doing in his field of expertise. It truly makes him proud of what he created, all the failures absolutely worth this result. He doesn’t label it as such, but the love he feels for you burns stronger every day as you enhance his time in Teyvat so much more with your presence. He can’t help falling for you every day, caring so much and very openly about you aside from you being his experiment too. Sometimes, he lays down next to you to rest despite claiming he’d be up all night. But the sight of you peacefully sleeping is one he wants to be imprinted in his memory for all eternity. You are his perfect darling, the only one suited enough to be the center of his attention whenever he isn’t putting his head in his work. The only person Albedo would want to take with him no matter where time leads him, and the only one to be by his side forever.
Albedo only took you to Mondstadt a few times. Enough so you could find the way on your own if needed and to introduce you to who is important to know. Not everyone needs to know about a second, potentially dangerous homunculus, so the fewer people know, the better. The change of seasons and the many, many people fascinated you, and you are much more willing to mingle with others. It’s cute, you, an artificial being, so happy to be with the humans. And they like you too, so Albedo feels safe with you going as you please. But lately, your trips have become more frequent, and you stay away much longer, your experiments waiting impatiently for you—and even more so, Albedo.
He taught you enough self-defense to not have to worry about you running into trouble. Still, one afternoon as he is waiting for you to come back finally, he simply can’t shake the ominous feeling that something is wrong. No one ever saw him hurry down the mountain, ignore everyone he meets, but most just shrug and move on. He was always a bit eccentric, after all. It’s already late when he finally makes it to Mondstadt, and there you are, laughing and chatting with someone Albedo doesn’t know. Someone you are holding hands with. Blushing.
Anyone with eyes can see that this isn’t just fun between friends, and Albedo feels his own body scream in pain at him, not knowing what is happening with himself. Until then, he was so sure that he and you were special. That he was everything you could ever want, just as much as you were to him. Albedo supported you every step of the way to become who you were now, with a free mind and living a good life by his side. He never considered that you wouldn’t choose him.
Heartbroken, he can’t find it in him to approach you, only feeling sick to the stomach as he witnesses your first, awkward kiss. The sight is too much, burning into his mind and completely shutting down everything his thoughts are usually filled with. If he had a pen and paper, the only thing he could draw was the kiss that wasn’t with him, a first that he didn’t experience together with you despite there being no one better than each other for you two. He never wanted to experience these things before, but now that you came into his life, he wants them all. And Albedo wants them with you just as much as he wants all of yours.
The only thing certain is that you will return to Dragonspine. He knows that. You’d never not come back all of a sudden, abandon all you left behind to meet your lover. Albedo taught you to be proper and well-mannered, so even if he had to limb back to Dragonspine by himself, for now, clutching his chest from the pain, you’d come back to him. Maybe he could talk sense into you, make you understand his feelings and your feelings. All you ever knew was because of him; Albedo taught you everything. So, he would tell you what you apparently needed to hear to understand because, just like him, you weren’t aware of all the feelings you must have for Albedo. Somewhere deep inside of you, you loved him, for sure. Because if not... He created you, and he could end you just as well.
There is always another chance to try again with experiments.
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Text
What happens when all the characters are on Tumblr-:
Skid: Every single odd number has an “e” in it.
Pump: LISTEN-
Robert: Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …
Roy: father god
Ross: …if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.
Roy: -_-’
Ross: (15+15=30 25+25=30)
Robert: 25+25 = 30? You sure about that??
Kevin: Lord have mercy….
Frank: Bye
Kevin: 3 days into 2018 smh
Fat thief: LMAOOOOOOO
Thin thief: One Three Five Nine And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.
Jack: 🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!
John: It keeps getting worse.
Jaune: LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON
Radford: My head hurts…
Phil: This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this
Patty: who failed yall?
Lila: IM SCREAMING
Moloch: You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even
Dexter: why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck
Eyes: 3 days until 2019 and we’re still here
Radford: happy New year’s eve
Kevin: I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was
Fat thief: Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…
John: did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away
Jack: Reblogging for the last one😂
Rick: The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.
Happy Fella (As in the actor): TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING
Sad guy: Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?
Candy Dealer: ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E
Susie: bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN
Phil: what the actual fuck is happening
Fat thief: 1 is an even number
John: I’m gonna smack you
Thin thief: -30 and -50 have an e in them
Jack: Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea
Happy Fella (Dexter doll (yes he died in the middle of the post lol)): Zero isn’t a number
Robert: It can’t be divided by two though, can it
Susie: It can??? 0/2=0??
Roy: OD NUMBERS onE thrEE fivE sEvEn ninE
Robert: OD numbers huh?
Ross: Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all
Pump: YOU FORGOT 5
Kevin, whos lost braincells at this point: DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR
Radford: What about it?????
Kevin: THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT
Radford: THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????
Lila: A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y
Eye: 21 days away from 2020, folks.
Kevin: Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏
Pump: This is art at its finest
Ross: one week to 2020 dudes
Kevin: I’m so done
Fat thief: Im so upset that even with all the “zero is odd” “no it’s not” stuff no one bothered to point out… It doesn’t matter. Zero, 0, zEro
Thin thief: But zero isn’t odd. It’s fucking the lack of a number. It’s neutral. It’s empty. There’s nothing there
Fat thief: Zero is a number.
Mr. Wonder: A definition of an even number is that it can be divided by 2 and the result is a whole number. Since you cannot divide zero, you cant divide it by 2 and that means that zero is an odd number. zEro, onE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, ElEven, and then the suffix -teen and every other odd number in english contains the names of the numbers 1 to 9.
Thin thief: zero is not a goddamn odd number what. even i know that and i’m not good at math. also you can divide 0 by 2, it’s 0, you literally just divide it and you just get 0 out oh my gosh. you can’t divide by zero but you can divide zero.
John: Quote from this one “ So, technically, [zero] is even. In fact, it is the most even number there is.” also does anybody on here ever look anything up or? this is making my brain physically hurt. christ.
Jack: NO. NO FUCK YOU ALL WE ARE NOT BRINGING THIS SHIT INTO 2020. WHOEVER BROUGHT THIS BACK DID IT ON PURPOSE AND I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN FOR SPORT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS.
Pump: This post was an absolute train wreck and I’m cursing my followers with it
Susie: Damn you
Fat thief: “Anyone can do math, even gay people”
Thin thief: Bitch, are you sure???
The clown (Yes it's speaking English, it's TUMBLR not actual speech): This post is amazing. The Chaos is pleased.
Phil: Is this fucking number discourse
Patty: Do you have an issue with that?
Phil: No but just out of all the things it’s about numbers Just that it’s weird is all
Rick: The internet is weird, you should be used to that by now.
Pump: Yeah that’s true
Radford: At least the cum soup post was less weird than this
Lila: Uhh I’m sorry the what
Jaune: Oh boy here we go again
John: How many times have I done this so far
Jack: I’ve done this like… three, maybe four times so far
John: Do you really want to know
Fat thief: You can turn back now
Roy: Please why did I have to see this post I had midterms today and my brain is already dead I don’t have enough brain cells for this
Skid: I had never seen this before today and I told my grandma about it and she’s shaking her head in both humor and disappointment. Good job everyone!
Pump: This is the longest post but yall forgot 6
Robert: And 1,3,5,7, and 9 are odd numbers. 5 is an honorary even number, but it is still odd.
Ross: Happy 2020 everyone! Everyday we stray further from god.
Roy: two years later and we’re still… tumblr
Pump: Reminds me of the recent pinky finger somebody that I used to know debacle on tiktok
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