#and are comfortable with but still need to be “corrected” to dress feminine

[daigah]

We lose everytime a girl in fiction who is on the masc side and happy with it becomes very feminine as a supposed sign of maturity

#Also applys to alt girls #Tropes #to everyone in my notes saying cassie sandsmark this was cassie vagueposting #IM NOT !!! REFERRING TO THOSE INTERNALISED MISOGYNY WHO DRESS MORE MASC CUZ OF THAT AND START TO EMBRACE FEMINITY JUST FINE #IN A POSITIVE WAY #this is more like. girls who were explicitly shown to dress gnc/masc leaning because thats simply their personality and what they like #and are comfortable with but still need to be “corrected” to dress feminine #especially if its for male/social validation

[blackopals-world]

Examination

FemMarine Biologist!Yuu x Azul Ashengrotto

Learning about the human body is necessary for Azul's research but he needs more info on the feminine body.

Warnings: Smut, body worship, fingering, intercourse and light sub/dom dynamics. Breeding kink

(This is too fucking long!)

If you asked Yuu why she was here she couldn't give you a confident answer. She had never done anything like this she swore.

Besides this was innocent research. She understood that very well. However she had never been on the receiving end.

"I've read that male and female humans differ in many ways." Azul had said.

"Yes, sexual dimorphism is expressed differently in land mammals. But I don't know enough about the specifics of that, i don't study mammals." She responded.

"But you have a female body." He placed a hand on his chin in thought.

Yuu can't remember when she agreed to this but she had none the least. Azul even had her sign a consent form.

Now she was sitting on Azul's bed dressed in only her underwear, waiting for him to come back.

Suddenly the door opened and Yuu held back a yelp as she was startled.

"Sorry, about that. I needed to make sure that we won't be interpreted." Azul said but he didn't really pay any attention to Yuu as he placed his hat on the hat stand and placed his scarf on the coat rack along with his overcoat.

Yuu watched patiently but nervously. Azul moved with purpose and wasted no time taking care of his guest.

Dressed only in a white dress shirt and slacks Azul leaned over the shaking girl.

"Do you remember our agreement?" He asked as a playful smile graced his lips.

"You get to study me and I get permission to study Octavinelle mer students." She said.

"Good girl." He hadn't said it yet but the exam had already begun has his eyes racked across her form. "Now hold still."

Azul pulled off his white gloves before taking hold of Yuu face.

Soft plump cheeks cushioned his fingers. Pretty doe eyes stared up at him. And sweet rose petal-like lips practically begged him to taste.

"I see. Female humans naturally attract their mates with their lips. Perhaps that is why they use makeup, to enhance their appeal. Very clever." Azul said.

He lightly pressed his thumb against Yuu's bottom lip. Soft, almost silky with an almost shine.

Reflexively Yuu tried to lick her lips only to find Azul's finger between her lips. Azul felt the soft wet appendage lap against his finger, unintentionally seductive.

She blushed but was this really the time time to consider indecency at this point? She tried to relax as Azul pulled away.

He had proven his hypothesis was correct and filed that information away for later.

The exam continued as Azul ran his hands down Yuu's shoulders and arms. He paused at her neck, squeezing gently, and watched as she gasped and her chest jumped only for a moment.

Yuu let out a small whine and Azul paused and waited for her to calm down before placing a comforting kiss on her cheek and continuing.

He placed his hand on either side of her waist. The natural dip in her torso made a perfect place for his hands.

Azul found himself enraptured by the feeling of the skin against his own. It was different from a mers, not scaly or slick with membrane. It was smooth, dry, soft, delicate, and so warm. Warmer than his own. He felt like his hands alone weren't enough to truly feel.

Yuu noticed the lost expression on Azul's face. And realized that Azul had probably never seen a belly bottom and assumed that's what had given him pause.

"It's okay, it doesn't hurt. It's just the first wound you get when you're born. It's a mammal thing." She said pulling Azul closer until until the side of his face was pressed against her belly in an instinctive comforting gesture. Like how her mother would when she was pregnant and Yuu was scared of touching her belly. Though right now there was no baby in there.

Azul hadn't even really noticed the strange divot he knew what it was even if it was foreign to him. His brain was too busy short-circuiting as he felt the expanse of warm flesh against his skin.

It felt divine.

Any sea creature from the deep knew the cold abyss. When Azul who lived near the coastal shelf knew warmer waters but the waters were cool all the same.

This warmth that radiated off Yuu was so soothing he wanted to bury himself there and never leave. The flowery scent with a hint of sea salt that permeated Yuu's skin was only a welcoming addition.

Before he realized he had begun nuzzling against Yuu's bare stomach, his lips grazing her skin.

Yuu giggled as Azul tickled her before-

"Mmn, Azul...your glasses." She whined.

Azul's glasses were digging into her skin. Pinching unpleasantly but also cold from the glass pressing against the usually unexposed skin.

Azul snapped out of his trance, his face blushed a purplish color.

"Right, my apologies." He said pulling away "We should focus."

"We? What we? You started this." Yuu huffing internally missing the warmth that surrounded her waist.

She didn't have time to ponder that further as a hand cupped under her breast. Azul gently squeezed Yuu's clothed chest. The satin bra was unassuming and not something Yuu would call sexy at all. If this was supposed to be a sexual encounter or at the very least she had more time to plan she'd put on something more lacy. Not that she had something like that, when would she have time to buy something like that?

Yuu was lost in thought but Azul was losing patience for Yuu to return. He not so gently just pulled the bra's hem up and watched as Yuu's breast bounced as they fell from their cloth prison.

"They are bigger than I thought. Something about things in small packages." Azul thought to himself.

Yuu had snapped out of it as she blushed and wrapped her arms around her chest.

"You should warn me. You know human girls don't just show their boobs to just any guy like that." She pouted.

Azul gave her an unamused glare with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm quite aware of something so basic. However how am I supposed to study you if you hide? Besides you agreed to show me." He chided.

Still he wasn't a monster. He let her relax and mentally prepare.

She slowly pulled her arms away and moved to take of her bra. Then she placed the garment aside, feeling exposed.

Azul was curious about this portion of biology. Mammals produced milk from these things. From what he heard they are deemed more attractive the larger they are. (Don't listen to him flat is justice! Every size is best size!) It must be evolutionary, as the bigger they are the more milk is produced which would be better for offspring. Yuu's were a decent size.

Nothing compared to those idiol characters Idia was obsessed with though.

Azul measured by placing his hand over one breast and noticed how it filled his hand, even spilling over. It seemed his hands weren't big enough.

(Don't ask me what a normal breast size is. I have size E and back pain.)

Azul gave the breast an experimental squeeze and watched how it molded to his grasp. It was so soft and squishy.

But there was no milk. He had assumed that it would just come out with a bit of pressure.

"Perhaps it only comes out when a child drinks from them. It would be a pain if it dripped out so the body must reserve as much as possible this way." Azul assumed very wrongly.

Like any man, he was curious about the taste.

Without hesitation, he latched onto one of Yuu's breast and sucked.

Yuu yelped in surprise before stifling a moan. Her brain forgot to she could move as she froze in place.

Azul however couldn't taste anything as he used his tongue to lap at her nipple to encourage the nonexistent milk to come out.

He found that he liked the feeling of toying with the nub and feeling Yuu jolt under his touch.

Still, he wondered why it wasn't coming out. Disappointed Azul reluctantly unlatched.

"Where's the milk?" He asked, you'd almost think he was an innocent kitten if you didn't know better.

Yuu on the other hand felt flustered and flabbergasted. She couldn't even control her volume.

'What milk?!" She yelled genuinely concerned.

After a brief explanation Yuu realized that mer people weren't educated on stuff like this. Which makes sense, they don't have milk glands.

"Mammals don't produce milk unless they are pregnant or have given birth. It drys up after they stop feeding. It's hormones that causes it to start." Yuu explains.

"So no milk?" Azul was more disappointed than he thought he would be.

"Not necessarily, it can still happen with repeated stimulus to the chest or hormonal changes." Yuu said.

Yuu suddenly felt nervous from the glint in Azul's eyes. He really wasn't letting this go. Did he plan to use her as a deluxe dairy cow or something?

Unfortunately, Yuu wasn't getting any respite anytime soon as Azul began toying with Yuu panties. His curiosity was enough to kill 100 cats.

Seeing as his goofy antics from earlier had successfully disarmed Yuu she surrendered her undergarments to the Kraken.

Only to realize suddenly she was bare and Azul was still very much dressed.

It didn't matter either way as Azul spread her legs to get a good look. He examined the shape of Yuu's body. The hips were wide unlike a male body, he knew for a fact that it was because that was where children come from. He had heard the phrase once "child bearing hips". This was probably what they meant.

Considering everything he had heard about what human males considered attractive he could say with certainty that Yuu was indeed a high-value woman. Flawless even.

What human wouldn't want her?

That thought however made his gut twist.

Regardless he just wanted to study her.

He refocused on examining what he believed was the vaginal slit. He used his finger to spread it and felt Yuu squirm under his touch. It was very pink and wet, even light touches coated his fingers.

Yuu whimpered as Azul poked and prodded especially when his fingers brushed her clit.

"It's so wet. Why?" Azul asked, he had likened it to the slime-like mucus that merpeople produce to protect their skin but this was different.

'I-Its umm. I don't know what to call it. There isn't a good name. It's just a lubricant women make when they anticipate intercourse. It's not something we control, it just happens." Yuu covered their eyes in embarrassment.

"Wouldn't it be annoying to be this wet all the time though, being a land dweller and all? It's running down your legs now." Although he said this he continued to rub his thumb against Yuu's clit enjoying her squirm and writhe.

"I-ahh just ma-make more mmn than normal I guess. Yuu tried to adjust to escape Azul's curious hands.

Azul on the other hand didn't like this. He was having fun now and maybe the twins were rubbing off on him. It would be boring if he stopped now and he was learning so much. Like how to make her feel good.

Azul placed both his hands on the underside of Yuu's thighs and not so gently pushed forward causing her to fall backwards onto the bed.

Yuu shuttered, feeling more exposed but didn't dislike it. She had been worried not about Azul accidentally hurting her but about what he thought of her. It's only natural. Revealing your body to someone else is like parading yourself to be judged. What if he didn't like what he saw? Surely his beauty standards are different from what he is familiar with.

Female octopuses are bigger than males for one thing and she wasn't nearly as tall as Azul in his human form let alone his colossal mer form. She didn't have a colorful tail or the ethereal beauty of a coastal mermaid or the strength and cunning of a deep sea mermaid. She was just human. A clumsy, small, scatterbrained hu-.

"It looks like an oyster," Azul said interrupting her train of thought again.

Yuu resisted the urge to kick him in the head.

"Choose your next words carefully." Yuu warned him.

Not that she didn't like oysters. She liked mollusks. They were marvelous creatures. But the white-grey colors of oysters were not something she wanted to associate with her not-so-private anymore area.

"If it's not like one then why is it hiding a pearl," Azul asked pulling back the clitoral hood to reveal the sensitive bundle of nerves. "Explain what it is then. You shake whenever I touch it."

"It's my clit." Yuu was probably more embarrassed than ever before. " It made up of nerve endings so it's sensitive. It feels really good when you touch it."

It would be easier to explain if Azul could keep his hands off for even a second as he stroked and teased her clit. Especially when she finished explaining. Immediately he began applying more pressure and watched Yuu whimper and moan.

Yuu writhed and wanted to beg Azul to slow down but it felt so good her mind was going blank. Her back arched against the sheets as Azul only sped up.

"Azul! Please. I going to cum! Please!" Yuu cried.

"Do it. I want to see." Azul said completely unaffected, as though he was telling her to do a small task.

It was like electricity running through her body. Her throat felt tight. And her mind felt like it was full of cotton. As she came down her body felt fragile as muscles in her body twitched.

It felt amazing but at the same time, she felt defenseless.

Azul must have found it in his heart to go easy on her and comfort the poor thing as he pulled her up to lean on his shoulder.

"Good girl." He repeated over and over as he stroked her head.

After some time Yuu had come down and got her bearings. Thinking however was too taxing. If that wasn't the case she might have objected to Azul going for round two, however small that chance was.

This time the octopus was curious about else. The hole down there.

Honestly, the entire species is too smart for their own good if it means they point their none existent noses into everything.

Azul wasn't dense enough not to know the basics of intercourse. He just didn't get the whole baby thing.

Mers lay eggs. Though most end up duds at least one hatches. In recent generations, most families have had a nursery to store an egg or two to make certain they hatch.

All of that seemed normal. But human baby birth seemed impossible.

Such a large mass and such a little opening? Without dying?

"Do children really come from here?" Azul asked out loud, his fingers exploring Yuu's drenched pussy further.

"Were else?" Yuu mumbled absent-mindedly trying to ignore Azul's probing and bury her head in his shoulder .

Azul responded by pushing another finger inside causing Yuu to groan.

Azul hadn't thought about his own reactions so far. Of course he was turned on. That's only the natural response to exploring another body. He didn't put meaning to that so he had no trouble not acting on it.

But then he added Yuu to the equation it was just a body. It was now Yuu's body he was touching, Yuu's voice he was hearing, and Yuu's eyes looking at him. And that was exciting.

Her body responded to his touch beautifully. It was begging for him clearly by how wet she was. She said that her body anticipates intercourse so who was he to ignore that call.

Azul pulled back taking a good look at Yuu's face. Reddish cheeks, unfocused eyes and a pair of tempting lips ready to be taken. And for the first time, he took them.

Yuu protested but only for a moment in surprise before melting in Azul grasp. Only letting out a defeated moan.

When they pulled away Azul shifted to sitting at the head of the beg and pulled Yuu to join him.

The silent agreement between them about what would happen next was clear. Though both weren't bold enough to say it out loud.

When Azul felt his member slide against her wetness he could feel just how hot it was. The urge to bury himself deep in that warmth returned. To sink as deep as possible and never come out like finding a cave with a warm current flowing through it and wanting to make it your own.

When he finally sank into that blissful warmth he could barely control himself. It was so tight, wrapping around him like a silk glove.

Yuu's arms wrapped around him. Caressing his face before pulling him to a kiss. Her legs around his hips pulling him deeper.

Azul would say later that he conducted himself with dignity and was a composed gentle lover but he was not nearly experienced enough to do that. No, he was a selfish creature at heart and like any selfish being, he took.

His mind was clouded as he roughly took her. Every thrust was firm and deep. He could only think about Yuu. Her beautiful body molded against his own as she cried his name.

"Azul, please more. So good." She said in fragmented sentences as she held on for dear life.

That's right. He was good.

And she was his. She chose this. Chose him.

Then those emotions from earlier reared their ugly head. His Yuu, his beautiful Yuu could end up falling prey to another. She so easily fell into his hands what's stopping someone else from tricking her into their bed?

She was incredibly smart. An expert in marine research. A dedicated scientist. But she was naive and easily fooled.

His poor Yuu.

He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let anyone have her. He had to claim her.

Azul had a vice-like grip on those full hips as he began hammering inside. His brain taken with only the base desire.

To breed.

To claim.

To make her his and only his.

Full and ready to take him at any time.

His mind was lost in a sea of daydreams where she was heavy with their child.

"You'll be a wonderful mother." He whispered in her ear telling her exactly what his intentions were.

Yuu whimpered in response. She couldn't even speak but she clung harder grinding her hips harder against Azul. Safe to say she liked the idea.

Azul could feel himself on the edge as he fully buried himself and as his climax took him he used every thrust to make sure not a drop was wasted.

Yuu had already came her body sensitive and exhausted.

They basked in the afterglow. Curiosity sated and something else lingering in its place.

Azul realized that he might have done something really stupid just now.

Yuu was glad that today was a safe day and that they were on the pill. Not that she'd tell Azul that. That was leverage after all.

Azul didn't know this but Yuu was naive but she wasn't stupid. Having Azul play baby daddy for a few months has benefits.

He wasn't going anywhere.

#marine biologist!yuu #azul smut #twst smut #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #azul x reader #twisted wonderland azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #twisted wonderland azul

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hiii! Hope all is well and if things aren't that they get better soon <3 Could you possibly write hcs for Jax with a masc s/o that's presented pretty fem in the digital world possibly also in the real world with both what they wear and their voice so they tend to get misgendered quite a bit (kinda like the princess reader, but a princess that's just a dude that likes being pretty??) Sorry if it's worded weirdly!

Jax x masc!reader who gets misgendered a lot

not worded weirdly at all anon!! dont worry about it :0!! i think this might be the last request of this batch; gonna go draw after this and maybe nap! still recovering from yesterdays stuff ! hope you enjoy this !! i didnt have many ideas on this since i dont think anyone in the main cast would go out of their way to be transphobic so this is kind of a mess of like, random ideas </3

honestly i think, as much of an asshole jax is, i dont think they would stand for this kind of stuff. like its a bridge too far imo, so you bet your ass hes going to stand up for you if someone misgenders you on accident!

emphasizes your correct pronouns when correcting someone who accidentally misgenders you, perhaps even crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes to push the point, i think

as for appearance stuff, he understands you want to dress more pretty/traditionally feminine, and honestly hes all for it ! if we're being true to the request and your a dude princess, i think he would probably snag your crown and fiddle with any frills or ribbons your dress has... nothing malicious here, this dude just needs stuff to fidget with and likes shiny things IMO LMAO

as much as i wanna say he would dress up to stand in support with you i dont think he would, jax himself would rather run off than wear something 'girly' but i think thats a mix of gender stuff, comfort stuff, and general style stuff for him

side note i wish there was more with "confident men (both trans and cis) actually slaying in a dress and not being self conscious or embarrassed". like if theyre nervous it should be because theyre worried that the color is off and clashes with their eyes or something

anyways

i dont think the misgendering would be much of an issue with the current cast; in the beginning i think there would be some slipups from some of the others but i think they get the hang of it pretty quickly!

now if a new circus member joined who wasnt as open minded and accepting... i think jax would target them with his pranks and antics, but like. make it more intense.. honestly side thing i can kind of see some of the others joining in on it but hey this aint about them

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #jax x reader #jax x you #jax imagine

[detransition]

from dickevandyke The other day a friend of mine said they hardly even consider me detrans because I "didn't really do anything to detransition". I didn't ask what they meant by that, because they're not really the kind of person I can have that sort of conversation with. I didn't want to have to explain to them why I detransitioned. I didn't want to have to justify finally feeling okay with myself after spending my teenage years being miserable and stressed about being trans.

It's kind of a fascinating mindset, though. I think it gives really wonderful insight as to how their brain works. Like, I stopped taking testosterone. I stopped asking to be referred to by male pronouns. I "came out" as a woman, and I Came Out as a Lesbian after also spending most of my teenage years trying very hard to repress my attraction to women. This person doesn't view that as doing anything. Why?

I imagine it's because I dress fairly masculine - as Butches generally do. I wear still wear, mostly, "boyish clothes". I didn't start wearing make-up. I didn't let my hair grow out long. I haven't done any voice training, or really made an effort to make my voice higher pitched like it was before. I haven't gotten breast implants. I rarely correct people when they call me "sir". I don't need to do any of those things. A stranger calling me "sir" doesn't mean I am not a woman. Not having breasts anymore doesn't mean that I'm not a woman. The point of my detransition was not to turn myself into a stereotype or to dive head-first into femininity.

The point of my detransition was just that I am finally comfortable with myself, just as I am. That doesn't mean that I love my body, but I am okay with it. I am at peace with who I am.

Do I regret getting a mastectomy? Yes. There was no other reason to remove my breasts, they were perfectly fine, they were small and didn't cause me any back pain, I didn't have any medical issues related to them. Do I regret wearing a binder? Absolutely. It has screwed up my ribs and back so severely that I am probably going to be living with chronic pain for the rest of my life. Do I regret going on HRT? Sometimes, sometimes not. Honestly, it didn't really change much for me outside of my voice and making my body hair slightly thicker. Do I regret social transition? Absolutely. I dug myself into such a deep hole of self loathing and repression that it took me three years to finally crawl out of it. So after going through all of that - after putting myself, my body through all of that, why would I want to do it all over again in the opposite direction, when there is absolutely no need for it?

I "didn't do anything to detransition" because I don't need to do anything to be a woman, I just am one. Woman is my natural state. I "didn't do anything to detransition" because I already put my body through three years of cross-sex hormones, five-ish years of binding, and an unnecessary mastectomy which has left me unable to feel most of my chest more than a year post-op. I don't need more unnecessary surgeries or expensive treatments to make myself into a woman, I never really stopped being one. Getting breast implants wouldn't make me more of a woman because I don't need breasts to be a woman. Voice training to make my voice a higher pitch again won't make me more of a woman because a high pitched voice was never what made me a woman in the first place. Wearing make-up, growing out my hair, wearing "girly" clothes wouldn't make me more of a woman, because femininity does not make a woman.

I didn't argue with them when they said that because, to be honest, I don't want to hear what they think makes a woman. I don't want to hear them trying to justify why they barely consider me detrans because I have not tried to turn myself into a feminine stereotype. It just really struck a chord with me, because if I'm not really detrans to them, am I really a woman to them? Or do they see me as some kind of "failed" woman because despite explicitly and openly accepting my womanhood, I am not their picture of what a woman is suppose to be?

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

#detrans #detransition #ftmtf #detrans ftm #detrans female #1st #butch #lesbian #actually detrans #actuallydetrans

[rustycopper4use]

Could I request a Mori x m!reader fic, oneshot

Basically, reader likes to crossdress and acts like a girl and no one at the school(forgot the name of the school the host club is on) and Mori is the only one to know somehow?

Smudged Kisses From An Angel

 A mori x male reader request.

  You were just like another male student in Ouran Academy, you came from money, as the sole heir to japans biggest makeup company.

 The only difference was you like to use your family’s products.   

  Your father could care less about this, his just pleased that you’re promoting his products.

 You liked feminine clothing, dresses, skirts, and heels. You adored makeup of all forms. Something about the form of expression made you feel like yourself. 

 You would even wear this to school, no one said anything really, till one day you figured out why. 

  You overheard a group of boys talking about you! And you figured out everyone thought you were a girl. Of course this didn’t bother you, you didn’t care if people saw you as one or the other. After a few weeks during the new school semester, you were searched out by a flamboyant blonde.

 Apparently you gain some popularity and admirers for your looks. And now you were invited to be the host clubs first official hostess! You didn’t bother to correct the blonde.

  You were referred as the flirtatious type, you’ve never flirted a day in your life, but you were bit of a theatrical person and loved playing roles.

 Since then you’ve been gaining more and more popularity, and love notes.

 You tend to be more closer with Mori, and Haruhi.

 However you and Mori tended to be around each other more often, it got to the point where you two had your own minor fan club, people who adored the silent type with a confident flirt.

 You enjoyed the calm he brought around him, a comfortable silence.

 He would listen to your rants, your endless knowledge of makeup and style theories. He never made you feel like you’re being too much or boring him.

 Everything about him felt easy, nothing was forced. Which led you to fall head over heels. 

 It was like he put a spell on you. Your heart skips a beat seeing him, you felt very aware how hot your face got. And every thought was about him. 

 You were done for.

After many sleepless nights, rewriting the same note only to decide to just do it in person.

 But before you could celebrate, a dreadful realization hits you like a truck.

 He wasn’t aware of that you were a male, sure you could lie about it but in the end you couldn’t do it in good faith.

 You knew he wouldn’t do anything bad if he found out, but still there was a sliver of doubt plaguing your mind.

 And with a heavy heart you would have to tell him.

 You made your way to the Host room, dreaded every step closer, heart beating faster. You would rather crawl home and hide forever right at the moment.

 You open the door with a shaky sigh. You saw the club already with there guests, you walk towards Mori, rehearsing your script in your head.

 “Sorry ladies. Do you mind if I borrow Mori?” You smiled, trying to ignore how nauseous you are.

 A few girls swooned, jumping to less than savoury conclusions.

 “Mori do you mind?” 

 He gets up and follows you. You lead him to an empty room, out of earshot from the rest of the club.

 You took a nervous inhale.

“Uh- sorry for dragging you away from you guests but uh-… I just have something I really needed to say. I really liked you, and have for a while now..” 

 Mori opens his mouth to say something but you stop him.

 “-And before you say anything, I uh- just wanted you to be aware that I’m not really.. um a girl you know? I’m a guy that likes to dress feminine, and act as such. Sorry if it’s weird, or makes You uncomfortable, but uh-“ you nervously play at your manicure nails.

 “-I’m happy the way I am, I just thought you should know. So I’m not disappointing you or something.” Your voice got quieter which each word.

 You looked off to the side, not wanting to see his reaction.

 After what felt like hours of torturing silence, Mori finally spoke.

  “I already knew about that. You have to worry about it.” He calmly spoke.

  “How? No one else knew, not like it was a secret but.” Your heart was pounding in your ears.

 “Because’ I’ve overheard you and Haruhi talk about it.” Mori explained.

  “I- of course it was that simple.” You groaned.

  “And here I was gonna cry and ruin my makeup, over something you already knew about.” 

 “But that still doesn’t answered one question.” You look up at him.

 “Do you actually like me?” You nervously spoke.

 He gave a soft smile before giving a nod.

 “Of course I do.”

Your heart was beating faster than possible. Your face flushed a deeper colour.

  “Uh- can I kiss you then?” You gave a shaky smile.

 He smiled and pulled you in.

He touch left bolts of electric throughout your body, and you pulled back with a smile.

 “That’s a good colour on you.” You teased, noticing the lipstick mark on his lips.

 Before he could questioned you, you pulled him back in. You kissed him back with you more in control now. You kissed all over his face, and a few on his neck and collarbone for good mesure.

 “Now that my heart isn’t about to leap out of my chest, I have to ask, are you few tomorrow?” You grinned.

 You guys left the room half an hour later. You looked amazing, your makeup still in perfect quality.

 However the same can’t be said for Mori. His hair was ruffled, and now he covered in your shade of lipstick. You dropped him off back to his group.

 “Sorry for taking so long.” You cooed at the group. They fangirled out over Mori’s state.

 You left with a grin.

AHHHGG I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH <333 THank you for this idea!!

#x reader #ouran fanfic #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq #gay #mori x reader #male reader #reqs open #request #ouran highschool host club #ouran host club #ouran hshc #ouran koukou host club #ohshc #ouranhighhostclub #haruhi fujioka

[addawithbalmiki]

me wasting my time at my office produced this

(...)

sasuke was never the golden child.

ten year old sasuke would have thrown pens at itachi at that realization. eighteen year old sasuke would have run away and gotten another tattoo in a haze of drunkenness.

twenty-eight year old sasuke makes a face at his cup of cold tea and continues checking his papers. dressed in a proper button-up with no tattoos peeking out, itachi is struck each time by the reality that his little brother is no longer the screaming child, annoyed by the lack of attention.

now, he has graduated to not giving itachi attention.

"otou-san was grim throughout the entire meeting, but my understanding is that he was positively bored. i expected more outrage." itachi sips his third cup of tea. "okaa-san, on the other hand... "

sasuke scowls. he circles one line with his red pen. itachi tries not to take offense at his little brother's distraction.

"i'm beginning to think you're bored of my visit."

"i am." sasuke doesn't even look up as he writes Check the book for once beside his angry red circle. "you are wasting my time here."

"i suppose you'd want to spend more time correcting people's poor attempts at getting dates right." itachi peers at the horrible handwriting. "i don't recall the heian period starting from my childhood."

sasuke pulls back the answer sheet. "kitsune is an idiot." itachi doesn't correct the obviously wrong name. "but he did better this time. and otou-san is indifferent because your decisions in life are always questionable. kisame is atrocious, but it's better than running away from home and joining a gang."

"a society." itachi takes the bait like every single time. it's a comforting pattern. "not unlike your sojourn with your wild friends."

sasuke keeps the marked paper beside him. his scowl becomes more prominent. be it ten, eighteen, twenty-eight - sasuke will never not look like the world has personally wronged him for the decisions he made.

brat, itachi thinks fondly. his appreciation for his brother's rebelling streak never manages to dwindle. itachi might have been the one who left everything and became a lawyer, but he still stayed. he still chose to align himself with the uchiha enterprises. sasuke left and between years of doing odd jobs and trudging through his history degree, he never looked back. as ambitious as sasuke is, he settled to become a high school history teacher with a laughably small salary.

itachi doesn't envy, but it's hard not to. dating kisame might be the most rebelling he has ever done. unlike sasuke, he's not half as brave. or reckless, as he likes to say.

"kisame's face reconstruction surgery is horrible. " sasuke says, blunt in the way he always is. "who the fuck wants to be a shark? "

"you don't understand an artist's soul."

"i don't need to. your choice is horrible." and then: "i'm giving kisame a mask that'll last him 10 years."

translation: i support your choice even though you can do better.

sasuke's kindness is sudden and tinged with so much roughness, it's hard to spot. softness doesn't become him despite his younger years. what would it take for the scowl to go away?

itachi smiles. "i'll give him your warm regards. he'll be happy to know you keep him in your thoughts. "

sasuke opens his mouth - undoubtedly to tear into itachi for his attempt at civility - when there's a knock.

"oh! i didn't know you had a guest. i'll come back later. " a feminine voice interrupts.

sasuke drops his papers on the table. he doesn't smile, but he doesn't need to. he does the closest approximation to beaming - his scowl disappears and his eyes glint like a well-fed cat's.

itachi turns his chair. by the doorway. a pretty pink-haired woman stands, her face sheepish. she has a white coat on.

"hello," itachi greets.

"hello! nice to meet you, " she greets back. a normal person. maybe sasuke isn't as rebellious as itachi thought him to be.

sasuke stands up from his chair. itachi peeks at his expression. if he didn't know his brother well, he wouldn't be able to pin down the slight redness in sasuke's ears.

"sakura," ignoring itachi's widening eyes at the informality, sasuke shoves his hands in his pockets, trying to look cool, "i didn't know you were available. "

the woman in question beams, the softness in her eyes giving away nothing and everything. "i dealt with the students. i wanted something other than mountains of snot. i detest flu season."

"you look tired. sit. " sasuke gestures to itachi's seat.

sakura eyes itachi worriedly. "um, i wouldn't want to impose-"

"-he's going now," sasuke interrupts.

"i am?"

"his boyfriend must be less upset with him now."

itachi stands up and leans forward.

"rude, otouto," he mutters. he shoots a smile at the worried woman and whispers. "a nurse? "

sasuke sniffs with disdain and pride. "a doctor. "

itachi shakes his head and exchanging a genuine smile with the pretty doctor, he heads out. picking out his phone, he calls his boyfriend.

"hello? " kisame asks, confused over itachi calling so early.

"i need the akatsuki to go through the records of a sakura at tokyo metropolitan asuka high school."

#naruto #txt #my writing #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #itachi uchiha #sasusaku #ignore my mobile formatting #teacher!sasuke

[cletus-kasadys-gay-boy]

Some real gender talk:

I know I'm a boy and I like boys. So I'm gay. But, I was born AFAB and yet I like being feminine still. I love being called "he" and "sir" and all the good masculine things. That still hurts though when I turn to smile and they "correct" themselves and say "she" or "ma'am."

I know clothing has no gender, I wear skirts and dresses and makeup still because I feel pretty in them. But that invalidates me to a lot of people I guess. I want top surgery, I want to start testosterone, and I love keeping my hair short. But, my ideal image I suppose is more androgynous than anything. But if people were to guess, it would be a boy. That is what I'd like and that's what I want out of everything. Love being a boy, but I don't feel like just a boy. Not a girl in any way, but extremely gender nonconforming vibes are also something I feel. I wanna be a boy, and just a human people find pretty at the same time.

Demiboy is my gender of course, but it feels weird. AFAB and identifying with a more masculine gender, yet I don't want to be fully masculine. I'm comfortable with my presentation and looks, my binders with crop tops and jeans feel the best to me with my favorite boots.

I feel like I'm expected to want to be more masculine, but if I was a cis guy feeling that way I feel I would be more understood with how I feel. But I'm not, and it confuses people that ultimately like to call me just a confused girl.

I'll do what people call feminine things, but I never want to be a girl. Practically anything but that.

Hard to understand a lot of things about me, and my gender is definitely one of them. But I'm happy with it, just want people to stop looking at me like I'm making things up or I'm someone they need to assign a box too. I'm not gonna fit in any box you assign me. But I know where I stand with it, and I'm very proud of myself for it.

#demiboy #gender #gender nonconforming #gay #mlm #real talk #nonbinary #trans masc #lgbt #diversity

[jinjinranran]

Byeol x Yoosung 💚

Bi Yoosung is canon /j no but what else could I hc him as, with his big ass crush on Saeran 😭 and I believe it wasn't the only one - tho I think most of the times he'd be oblivious and confuse his boy crushes with simple admiration, because he likes girls after all! But boy. Sweetie. My dude. You're fruity and it shows.

With Byeol being nonbinary, Yoosung's a bit confused at first. He doesn't live under a rock, he heard about nonbinary genders, just hasn't really done any research about the topic. He has no problem with accepting them in any way regardless if he fully gets it or not. He just needs some explanations and learning to do so he could understand their identity better.

Other characters: 💛 💜 🧡 💗 ❤️ 💚 💙 🤍 🤎

Byeol's story under the cut:

💚 Eunbyeol Kim (Byeol) ♡ she/they/he ♡ 20 yo ♡ nonbinary, pansexual

Byeol likes both feminine and masculine clothes and interests, but has always been praised only for presenting feminine ("You're such a pretty lady!", "you look like a little princess in this dress" "you look much prettier with some makeup on") and it felt wrong so she started to resent these and dress as androgynously as possible, rejecting everything that was considered feminine.

Dislikes how feminine their face and body is, always admired androgynous people, and wishes breasts were an accessory you can put on and off depending on the outfit. Related those feelings to just wishing to look good in both male and female cosplays, only much later realized there is a deeper reason for that.

Bought her first binder for cosplay purposes and oh boy the happiness it brought!!

Generally wearing masculine outfits always brought that little, unexplainable spark of excitement.

Once when gaming someone referred to her as "he" and it felt cool so she never corrected them. Now goes by mostly he/they online and she/they irl (but honestly is fine with any).

As a teenager started to be more active online, and finding lgbt communities, she discovered the existence of nonbinary genders and started to put the pieces if her life together. Rotated between different identities (demigirl, demiboy, genderfluid, agender, etc.) but at the end decided to just stick to nonbinary as it felt the most comfortable.

Cut their hair at the end of high school, out of impulse and spite for her family pushing the idea that a woman must have long hair. It felt so freeing, even tho she ended up looking like a disaster lol

Their family is conservative and not very accepting to anything outside of the "norm" so they're not out to anyone except one of her older sisters who does everything to support them, even if she didn't fully understand at first.

While doesn't mind she/her pronouns, other gendered words (like miss, sister, girlfriend etc.) makes her uncomfortable so prefers to use gender-neutral alternatives when possible.

Definitely prefer to be referred using their shortened name - Byeol - since it's gender neutral, than the feminine full name - Eunbyeol.

Now - after learning that the way they're presenting nor interests do not invalidate their identity - embraces their feminine features (still thanks gods for the invention of a binder but doesn't always feel the need to wear), actually likes wearing makeup and dresses sometimes, loves to play with fashion and mix both feminine and masculine pieces of clothing, and is obsessed with accessories.

Regarding the romantic/sexual attraction, he has 0 experience, but never put much importance to it, "if I fall in love then I fall in love, the only thing that matters if we get along well".

Since they're going to the same college as Yoosung, they saw him in the halls, a few days into 1st semester, and immediately got a big ass crush on him. Felt way too shy to approach him though, and everytime they ran into each other, only managed to mumble something incomprehensible (and that was very new and out of character for her, and also very embarassing). Later, slowly they started bonding over the same interests, though Yoosung was very oblivious of Byeol's feelings towards him. Until many months later when she confessed to him - or in his route, when he realized that the party coordinator he fell in love with is actually his college and gaming friend. 💚

#cmc pride series 🏳️‍🌈 #mystic messenger #mysme #yoosung kim #yoosung x mc #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger cmc #custom mc #original character #headcanon #mystic messenger hc #my art #oc: kim byeol #pili oc

[little-cereal-draws]

Ok I know there have been posts abt it before but I want to talk abt it again. I think it’s really interesting how the last wish kinda plays around w gender a little bit. Most of it’s abt Puss bc he’s the main character but a bit of Kitty too

Puss wears makeup in this movie. He knows how to do silks (which are generally seen as very dainty and feminine). He lets Kitty lead when they dance. There’s a deleted scene where he dresses in drag as a disguise. He changes clothes, wears a wig, and gives himself a full face of makeup instead of the little bit he usually has and it wasn’t really a problem for him (bc he was focusing on much more important problems at the time but still). Puss from the first movie or from the Shrek movies never would have done any of that but now he doesn’t care what ppl might think or how “unmanly” it is, he is Puss in Boots!

And when he’s talking w his past lives in the cave, there’s so much toxic masculinity. At first they’re all vibing but as soon as he says he’s going to find Kitty and perrito, they all get furious. They literally call him puny and weak for admitting he loves his friends and make fun of his fighting skill, his time at mama Lunas, and anything else they know he’s insecure abt. That probably would have sent Shrek movie Puss in Boots into a blind rage where he needs to prove he’s still “manly” by those standards but instead this Puss sticks w his decision to leave. When they realize their belittling isn’t working, his past lives are all like you’ll never be strong like us, you’ll never be brave like us, you’re wrong for choosing your friends over glory. They put this idea of being tough and manly up as the “correct” choice and what he’s doing as wrong. He still ignores them.

But it’s very interesting to see that even before he got any character development at the beginning of the movie, Puss was starting to explore and drift away from the perfectly manly persona he had.

And then Kitty. There is much less w Kitty and it’s a lot more surface level but it’s still interesting.

She leads in the dance fight they have w the bears and doesn’t even give Puss a second to think abt it. Then at a certain point, she lets him lead like in the first movie, but they end it w her leading again. They were both perfectly fine and comfortable dancing either the traditionally “masculine role” or “feminine role.” I also found this post abt how they changed kittys design too so it wasn’t your typical “girl animal” design. I’m so glad they did this.

But cats might just have a different sense of gender than humans in the Shrek universe bc in the first movie’s dance battle scene, Puss doesn’t realize kittys a girl until she takes her mask off and yells at him at the end. Which means that he either told her gender by her face or her voice. I think voice is more likely tho. And all the cats are pretty much naked all the time so u can’t tell by clothes, there’s no sexual dimorphism so u can’t tell by body type, and if ur a normal not talking cat u don’t really have a voice so u can’t tell from that either. I’m sure they have other ways of telling like pheromones or smth but it would make sense if they weren’t as strict abt gender as humans are. When everybody looks the same, how are u supposed to get mad at them for doing the “incorrect” thing for their gender lol It’s impossible.

But anyway, I just think it’s cool how they kinda let Puss play around a bit w his presentation and outgrow his toxic masculinity

#puss in boots #puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots meta #kitty softpaws

[unabashedhonesty]

Am I...transgender?

I’ve felt my whole life like I am not a proper female. I remember me, as young as three years old, arguing vehemently with my maternal parental unit that I am a BOY, gd it! I’ve had barbies and dresses and the color PINK forced on me my entire childhood. (I despise pink to this very day because of the association.) I wanted to play sports like wrestling and football, but I couldn’t because those were “for boys”. And then I learned when I was a teenager that I like both genders — but not sex. And I was apparently “wrong” for both of those things. I always had to talk and behave a certain way because of my genitals, which never sat well with me. When I finally started to live with the notion that I-have-a-uterus-and-sizable-breasts-so-logic-dictates-that-I-am-a-girl, I tried to embrace my “place” in the world and started focusing on how to be a “proper lady”, yet all the sudden I was “slutty” and a “hoochie” “outspoken” and “disrespectful” and should dress “conservatively”, even though girls who showed off their looks apparently got praise and approval (it didn’t help that the only affection I ever got was from the “family friend” who got way too handsy with me, but I took it because here was someone who was finally being nice to me).

When I finally got away from toxic relatives and out on my own, I tried to be a proper woman, but the label “woman” never settled in and I waited my entire twenties to feel “right”. Then tragedy hit me and my partner and living became survival again, thus I no longer cared what I looked like or what people thought. I stopped wearing makeup so much, I stopped shaving my legs and armpits, I stopped the painful process of waxing my face, and THEN!! For the first time, I actually felt comfortable in my skin. I stopped wearing bras so much. I started wearing geeky t-shirts and jeans and biker boots. I talk in a way that feels right to me, and not how a “lady” should. I stopped sitting like a “lady” and I don’t take shit from anybody anymore. I began to realize that I never liked being referred to as a “she” and would jokingly tell my friends to not accuse me of being a woman. Then I started an anonymous, faceless, genderless Twitter (before the muskrat takeover) as a social experiment, and learned that I LIKED it when everyone just assumed I was a guy. I didn’t correct them because I didn’t want them to change the way they talked to me.

I then came to the conclusion that I’m genderfluid. I prefer they/them pronouns, but I really do enjoy he/him. I still know how to be a “woman”, and I still occasionally present myself as one when it’s needed (or when it’s not a good idea to get into correcting people). I still thought I was stuck being a woman when I met my partner, so I will happily be a woman for them from time to time, because that’s what they’re attracted to and I still want to be attractive to them. But they never try to make me be anything, and certainly doesn’t shame me for my gender issues — they love and support me whatever I’m feeling. (They still refer to me as “she”, but that’s what I still was when we met nearly a decade ago and it’s hard for them to switch, so I don’t hold it against them; they’re not malicious about it at all). And if I’m feeling particularly masculine — even for weeks or months at a time — they don’t try to stop me from being just that. For most of my life, I’d never heard of transgender or gender-affirming care or anything of the sort (due to being raised in an EXTREMELY conservative environment), but once I started educating myself about it so I could support others, it started to make a lot of sense to me. But I’m still learning and trying to understand it all, so I beg of you, LGBTQIA+ side of Tumblr, to PLEASE help me understand what exactly I am and what I’m going through. I know how I feel — have ALWAYS felt — and that is most certainly NOT feminine. Am I genderqueer? Am I Trans? Is this real? Am I a hypochondriac? Is it all in my head? Am I just confused? Please help!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤎🤍🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ #queer #genderfluid #genderqueer #trans #transgender #am i trans? #Am I just genderfluid? #Please help #i want to understand #they/them #pronouns #he/him

[nixie-writes]

hi! i was wondering if i could possibly request a Vox x FTM! short! reader?? where reader comes over to Vox's place after a rough day and just needs some comfort and they end up eating like takeout food and watching some movie until some slight lemon about halfway through the movie? (however much youre comfortable with of course, your comfort as the writer comes first <3)

Hello! I love this idea, any character with a trans reader is lovely. I hope I can do this justice, and I hope you enjoy it! Under the cut for possible triggers. TW: sexual scene near the end, mentions of being dead-named and misgendered

[Y/N] trudged along the narrow street, rain pouring, hot and sharp. Their clothes were soaked and they were pissed. Another day another issue with Jessica the princess. "Oh I'm sorry, did I misgender you? That sucks!" They mimicked her in a high pitched tone. God he hated Jessica. Through the sheets of rain [Y/N] found his way to Vox's place. A rather luxurious condo, hidden from the public eye. It didn't even have a mailing address. He tapped on the door a few times, standing hesitantly on the porch. No answer. He was about to turn and leave when the door opened, revealing Vox dressed in a thin white shirt and gray sweatpants. With one look at [Y/N]'s pissed expression he turned to the side, allowing him in. Vox didn't appear to care about the water pooling on his carpet. "Rough day?" He asked in a sympathetic tone. "Just the usual," [Y/N] replied, ringing out his hair. "Everyone at work keeps mocking me and making fun of me. Jessica can't respect my name or pronouns for shit." He spat her name as he ranted, Vox nodding his head as he listened. "She's always like, 'oh I forgot about your name! Honestly it's kinda dumb, it's rude of you to demand I use it," and it's fucking dumb! My bitch bag of an employer can't be bothered to get me a name tag with my real name so everyone dead names me and I can't be bothered to correct every customer who misgenders or dead-names me." [Y/N] rambled in one breath, heaving in for air. Vox just sighed softly. "I can't do anything about Jessica at this moment, but I assure you her attitude will change. My next visit to Cannibal Cafe won't be so friendly." He spoke kindly but malice sat in his voice. Vox grabbed a set of loose clothes, a blue sweater and black pants, and set them on a chair. "At least get changed; you're soaking wet! I don't want you to get sick." When [Y/N] hesitated he added, "I'll get your work uniform dry cleaned." With a sigh he complied, turning away from Vox to start undressing. Turning the other way Vox asked, "you want anything special to eat? I have plenty of good food. Or we can just get some takeout." [Y/N] just sighed again and responded, "takeout is fine, I don't care what it is." Vox only hummed in response, pulling out his phone and dialing a number. "Hey Velvet, do me a favor and get [Y/N] and I some fast food, we don't care what it is, just make sure it's plenty. I'll pay you back when we meet again." [Y/N] could overhear Velvet's higher pitched, feminine voice, responding with something about having to choose between Taco Bell, Chinese or McDonald's. Vox thanked her and hung up, turning around as [Y/N] was still shaking off his pants. "Velvet's ordering us some food, she'll make it an express delivery so it'll take about 15 minutes. Anything you want to do in the meantime?" He offered, visibly trying his best to keep his eyes on [Y/N]'s face. "Hmm...Movie night? You can pick" [Y/N] replied. Vox nodded his head in agreement. "Sure but, there's a movie I've been wanting to watch with you...Something special." There was that familiar tone in his voice, he was suggesting something. [Y/N] just played along. "Oh, I'm excited to see your movie suggestion." He purred in response. "Just let me get changed first." The blue sweater hung off [Y/N]'s body like a blanket but the pants fit fine enough, albeit a bit loose. Following Vox into his entertainment room they say a 70-inch flat screen with a DVD-VHS player, complete with a cable box and a litany of movies. Vox had a special DVD in hand, hiding it from [Y/N]'s view. "We'll watch this after we eat hon." Vox only called him that when he was in the mood. He could certainly use a little affection after this shitty day. [Y/N] was scanning through the VHS movies when the doorbell rang twice. Vox answered and spoke to someone for a moment, closed the door and entered the entertainment room again. In his arms were four boxes of Taco Bell, a bag of Chinese and a shrimp platter. "I guess she couldn't pick." Vox joked as he sat the food down. ---

[Y/N] ate one of the Taco Bell boxes and half the box of Chinese and picked at the shrimp. Vox engulfed the Taco Bell and ate half the shrimp platter. Bundling the leftover food in his arms he took it to the fridge. "Okay, movie time!" He cheered as he popped an unknown DVD into the player. He patted the luxurious couch, beckoning [Y/N] to join. He sat down beside him, curious as to what this special movie was. It was 50 Shades of Gray. The movie was cheesy with it's romance scenes but made up for it with the sex scenes. [Y/N] found Vox repeatedly scooting a little closer, running his hand over [Y/N]'s. He knew what Vox was playing at. After a playfully long stretch and a scandalous moan he lifted himself up, sitting firmly on Vox's lap. A small glitch was heard and [Y/N] could feel Vox's dick pressing into him, begging for friction. [Y/N] squirmed on his lap, pretending he was trying to get comfortable, being sure to stroke Vox's cock with his thighs as he did so. Vox's breathing was already labored. It was lovely to see how easy it was to tip him over the edge. Vox grasped [Y/N] around the waist with his hands, nails digging into his skin through the sweater ever so slightly. Vox held [Y/N] still, his thighs sitting directly apart on Vox's lap, offering an enticing view of his dick, pressing against the confines of the loose gray sweatpants. Truly a testament to his length. With a sweet little giggle [Y/N] began running his hand along Vox's dick, his breath hitching in the process. His hips bucked into [Y/N]'s hand, pre-cum wetting his sweatpants. [Y/N] ran a finger along his clothed tip, earning a low moan directly in his ear. "Do that some more hon, please let me cum." He was practically begging.

Obliging, [Y/N] continued to toy with his dick through his sweatpants, earning a litany of soft moans and pleas. He could edge Vox into oblivion but, tonight he wanted to see Vox cum. [Y/N] gently squeezed his dick and ran his thumb over Vox's dick. It was throbbing under his touch.

"Please please please", Vox begged. With an innocent giggle [Y/N] slid his hand under Vox's sweatpants, grasping the prize inside. He was so close, it only took a few pumps for Vox to be gasping and groaning, one hand on [Y/N]'s hip and the other on his ass, squeezing it tight. One more stroke along his tip and Vox arched his back, a mix of gasps and moans bubbling out of his mouth as his cum pooled in [Y/N]'s hand. He chuckled, pulling his hand from Vox's sweatpants.

"You really were in the mood tonight, weren't you?" Vox only chuckled. "I'm always horny around your sexy ass." He cooed. Just his voice sent stars into [Y/N]'s eyes.

This would be a long night.

#Hazbin Hotel x reader #Hazbin x reader #Vox x reader #Vox x reader smut #Vox x trans reader #Vox x transmasc reader #tw sex #tw deadnaming #tw misgendering

[katyspersonal]

I think I’d like to note a few more things on Maria’s clothing as well.

She does dress masculine, but it’s not very out of the ordinary. Gratia, Henriette, Eileen, and Yurie all wear traditionally masculine clothes as warriors, and even compared to them, Maria did not appear to be one to entirely bury her feminine traits. She wears her lumenflower brooch, flower chains, a ribbon in her hair, and a feathered hat that resembles the female Cainhurst knight hat alongside a more common hunter’s hat. Compared to the other masculine women of Bloodborne, Maria still has a clear balance between her masculine and feminine attire.

The male Cainhurst knight set is actually traditionally way more feminine-looking already, but Maria turning it into a hunter’s uniform inspired by Gehrman works well because the set already bears more resemblance to traditional hunter wear than the female knight’s garb.

Again, even in the wider world of Soulsborne, Maria is not unusual for being masc in an older time period. What is more relevant is her unique way of approaching a traditionally male dominated field in a Victorian setting, and not burying her feminine traits. Every other female hunter I mentioned dresses entirely masculine, but Maria keeps a balance. She could have given her more elegant Cainhurst fashion, which is undeniably more feminine, but she didn’t. This makes more come off like more of a feminist in her time than the other women that clearly didn’t do the same.

Gehrman dressing the Doll like he did was an interesting choice, but something tells me he didn’t do it out of a malevolent or disturbing reason. We know the Doll clothes reveal the love of their creator, not the desire for female submission or sexual depravity. The answer doesn’t need to be complex when trying to explain why Gehrman’s motives might not have been twisted. The answer is right in the game. It was something that came from love. Why it manifested in that way is up to interpretation.

Oh! I appreciate you expressing your take on the matter here, anon! I just want to correct a little bit! The ribbon Maria ties her hair with appear to be the headpiece of Knight's set that is male version of it, and Henryk is another hunter that uses feathers in his hat!

As for Yurie/Julie, Choir garb in my opinion is not masculine clothing but rather... neutral clothing? It is a robe of a religious group and in my opinion they'd aim for suppression if not erasure of identity! Blindfold cap covers upper part of their faces and whereas it has lore reason (letting the 'stars' show them the world guide them instead + Willem reference), but also from design standpoint it covers the most expressive part of the face - the eyes area. They are also called Choir, I think they would try to appear all identical and interchangeable, anonymous, including obscuring gender presentation rather than being feminine or masculine! (I like to think realistically, anyone with long hair would tuck them under the hat... 🤔) So yeah! I just need to be honest with what we are discussing here.

But you have a rather good core point:

(Screenshots are courtesy of Bloodborne wiki ( x ))

You can see male Knight, Maria and female Knight sets, and... that sets are actually similar. The 'masculine' thing about Maria's version of the set is use of grey ribbon to tie her hair, leaving out puffy sleeves and leaving out the skirt. Which... tells us actually not all that much about her presentation?

No, but really! I would say there is a difference between disposing of flea-like blood-drunk monsters in the comfort of the royal castle and running in dungeons/streets/hamlet full of fish mutants apparently. There might have been a practical reason for leaving the skirt (and slightly longer cape) out. Knights stay in the castle mostly to dispose of Bloodlickers that just jump and suck blood, Maria however, disposes of beasts that could effectively drag a long skirt/longer cape down with their claws! Puffy sleeves of female set are made from lighter and expensive material, but Maria's coat is (reasonably) of thicker and rougher material that might be a hassle to repeat the puffiness even if Maria wanted to! And ribbon could be just an element common in Cainhurst to tie hair, definitely not likely to be banned for women. Maria needed a big hat, not a tiny decorative hat when hunting. Again, 'comfort of the castle' thing, you know?

Clothes are not necessarily masculine, but they ARE practical.

Basically? You are right, there is no need for big essays and elaborate analyses to begin with. Maria is not 'unambiguously masculine', Maria is... Maria. She presents as Maria. Given the setting her preferences are... sooooo up to interpretation, and the only solid thing we have is that Gehrman certainly had no personal interest in feminizing her. (Woulda been odd anyways since he trained her to kick ass to begin with).

We appear to have entered the problem of 'western fandoms can only analyze any media through the lense of 21th century american values regardless of context, setting, country of the production or even basic common sense'. Woman seems masculine? Then she MUST be masculine for the same reasons why an american woman would be in 21st century would be masculine, by logic of such people. It is just something I absolutely cannot connect with, because I engage with fiction to escape the struggles and visions of reality, not to carry them with me. And I love media from overseas, coming from different cultures or set in a very different setting because it gives me perspective varied from what I already see all the time. Hence why I personally never had much hype for passing her as butch/egg/etc, or for projecting issues with creepy men on Gehrman. Because:

There are plenty of fictional universes that do touch themes of feminism and queer presentation as it is in many 1st world countries of our century, are made by westerners and for (mostly) westerners, there are many indie creators or just artists that have many characters like this and explore these themes - in plain way, without having to force it in! Bloodborne just feels like a whole different thing that is good for what it is, not for what it could be.

I also always had impression that when FromSoft games want to say something regarding characterisation - they SAY it. I think Elden Ring cemented this for me with the "Dolores fashioned herself as a man" or... idk, Entire Personality of Seluvis. They are very coy with lore and world-building and timelines, indeed, but not with presenting something. Does it mean that interpretations are now bad and banned? Of course not. But it is mindset like 'Maria is masculine she is the gnc icon everyone who thinks otherwise is just a cowardly incel whose pp shrinks at the sight of a masculine woman why do you want to take away our ONLY representation under guise of loving the lore and truth?!' that does inspire me to go in the trenches to defend Gehrman's honor dfsjhdfsdsf

Meanwhile Gratia and Henriett leave the chat:

I've talked a lot but I see what you are saying, anon. It is more about 'people who have eyes WILL see naturally, without any essays or analyses' and like... I guess so...? I just have it basically coded in my brain to ramble about my interests and read lectures to the classroom with like 2 people in it, hahaha. Maybe there should be fandomry class in the schools since we can't escape the internet and media anymore, and I will work as a teacher. xD /j

#bloodborne #bloodborne observation #lady maria of the astral clocktower #ask replies #controversy #fandomry rambles #(i miss disco horse tag every single day) #but like... you are right maria is not THAT unique #not only we do indeed have gratia henriett (and eileen i guess?) but also her choices are easily practical #rather than aesthetical #damn.... #i really do not have to explain myself in essays when it is very obvious i guess?. #i am just reactive because of my own autism #i do not have drivers for seeing things that are not explained thus not only i am looking for clues i can detect #but also chronically explain them to other people because unconsciously people expect others to work like them #so it is a chain of 'i don't get things unless explained well' = 'others have the same problem' #then people like you or my allistic friends come in like 'hold up but this is obvious already!' #and i am just like 'well..... i feel bad about being born without intuition for unspoken truths now' #/lh

[bruniatrobaire]

PINNED

TOA Canon [Church of Seiros Attendant]

ROUTE. Conquest (Post-Game, Following Solo Ending)

A prince of Nohr, and inheritor of Brynhildr, he has come to the academy to work within the Church of Seiros as a healer. Of course, he won't abandon his passion for sewing either! If anybody needs a cute outfit or a little pick me up through the power of his staff, rest assured he will be there!

ABOUT | INTERVIEW | Please kindly do not use small text! (Post)

Notes Under the Cut

A year post Conquest, with time to settle into the world outside of his deeprealm, and himself as well.

Comfortable with both masc and femme terms, but prefers masculine ones.

While I know a lot of people out there somewhere in ether would probably like to headcanon Forrest as a trans woman or something like that, Forrest on this blog will be potrayed firmly as a boy/man, who while comfortable with feminine nature and terms, is still confident in his masuculinity. He likes wearing skirts and dresses, especially cutesy things, but that does not make him any less of a man.

Feminine pronouns and words should be used on his own terms. (IE: if the mun is referring to him as she/her in a thread, it is okay for the other muse to do so. but if the mun is referring to him as he/him in a thread, it is not okay for the other muse to use feminine terms.)

As above, it is okay for a muse to precieve him as a girl upon first meeting, but if he is to correct, then they are not to continue doing so.

Sorry if those rules seem a bit harsh! This is for both Vergil's comfort as well as the muse's!

#ic #ic: putting all the doubters to shame #ooc #ooc: i won't be silenced #threading: i doubt you're ready for me #supports: may love always triumph over ignorance #mission board: this may call for a new look soon #housekeeping: what a surge of confidence! #drabble: my inner strength is really blossoming #events: who knew i could be even more lovely? #inbox: you and i will survive

[akaaesir]

i love having a less known platform so i can talk abt shipping jeanluc in a very specific way without kids jumping me for it so i give you two scenarios. it's long, bear with me, i've got a lot of thoughts.

diluc and jean dated in their teens in both of them, things didn't work out but they still cared a lot about each other and assumed they were better as just friends. (+transmasc kaeya, trans woman lisa, and rosaria being surprisingly helpful)

diluc assumes they're gay for the longest time. they just never get the same feelings for women as guys do, but they do get some sort of feelings and assume that it's platonic. they just... never actually find their relationships with men working out. something goes wrong, they get icked by random things that don't even make sense to be icked by. it's not even the guy, he could be the perfect man for him, but he'll get to a certain point and just be uncomfortable, even just the thought of being someone's boyfriend gives them the ick. they just end up complaining to kaeya when they figure he's drunk enough to not get it. kaeya drops that it sounds a little like dysphoria. diluc initially denies it because they don't really care about their body, it's just a few phrases that make them uncomfortable. but something about the conversation sticks with them, and they keep thinking about it. kaeya asks a few days later if they'd like to try new pronouns/titles, and they pretend to have no idea what he's talking about. but it still stuck. rosaria's in the bar that night fixing her eyeliner, and on a whim, diluc asks if she'd mind trying something on them. and when she hands them the mirror... something just felt right. it wasn't heavy makeup, just some light eyeliner, but they look really pretty and actually enjoy looking rather than just tolerating their appearance. they get adelinde to help them out a bit more and experiment with gender, eventually figure out they aren't super comfortable with being addressed as a woman or presenting fully femininely either, but prefer that to being seen as a man all the time and don't mind she/her pronouns. they eventually come out to a few people close to them, jean included. they end up talking more - it's not weird for jean, lisa, and diluc to all show up together to girl's night (non-gendered - half the people at girl's night aren't even girls). but with this bit of self-discovery comes a new resurgence of feelings. diluc isn't exactly the lovey type, but he finds himself inviting jean to hang out sometimes, even if they just hang out in the same place for a while. it gets jean out of her office and work for a quick rest, and it gets diluc out of their head for a while. they realize that things didn't work out because they didn't know who they were yet. they always tied their identity to external things, and it's easy to lose yourself when you lose those. one night, they finally get up the nerve to test the waters and find out that jean has been considering similar things on her end. they end up giving it another try, and it doesn't even feel like things have changed, per se. they've just got a label on it now.

jean didn't really try to figure out their gender. it was actually a complete accident. men's clothing was often just more practical. he never saw a need to correct people who called him "sir" or thought he was a guy from a distance. they just... never really cared. and honestly, who did it hurt if kaeya sometimes came over to play dress-up and jean tended to go for more masculine looks? it was all just for fun, right?... until it wasn't. it was time for a banquet, and he was expected to be wearing a dress. but something about it didn't fit them right. not physically. he just looked... wrong in the mirror. and of course, lisa came in with kaeya to see what was wrong. jean looked great, what was wrong? a few more outfits had the same issue - he looked fine, the dresses were quite lovely and some of their favourites, but the thought of being in them for hours and being expected to just... perform being a woman just felt wrong. lisa looked a bit confused and asked offhandedly if jean felt like being a woman was a performance. but that's how everyone felt about gender, right?... apparently not, lisa really did feel like a woman deep down. but of course lisa would, after the work she went through to transition. kaeya mentions that's how he felt about gender before he figured out the nuances, and while gender does still feel more like a performance to him, he just feels like kaeya. he explains that especially before, he always saw it more as pretending to be a woman or pretending to be a man. it's easier for people to see him as a guy, and he far prefers that to his other options. otherwise, people ask too many questions he can only answer in abstract concepts. and something about that resonates with jean. they don't push it immediately, but do decide to try on a blazer, and that odd feeling is gone. the banquet is fun, and he catches diluc staring more than once. and lisa and kaeya help him figure things out. this wasn't meant to bring them closer to diluc, but they end up hanging out more regardless. after dropping off kaeya one night because "he's too drunk to be left alone, and i can't find rosaria or the alchemist," he ends up inviting diluc in. they talk a while. then they talk more. mid-conversation one day, diluc drops that he thinks he likes jean. jean doesn't process it for a few seconds, continuing to ponder what food to order from good hunter, but when it sets in, he isn't opposed. they do both care for each other, after all, never hurts to give it another try.

mix and matchable as well i just think theyre cute scenarios

#genshin impact #jeanluc #jean gunnhildr #diluc ragnvindr #trans diluc #trans jean #screams into the void bc i love these dorks #ive heard that they act like they dated in middle school and they really do but hear me out

[stickystarspectrumtroll-ocs]

pride month asks for allets, maddie, eliote: 1, 2, 3, 8

1) What's your oc's gender identity? What's their relationship to their gender?

Allets is a cis girl. She is, however, more gnc than she has ever remotely been allowed to be. Not the BIGGEST tomboy, mind you, she still prefers or enjoys a number of traditionally feminine things. But her parents have always kept her in this very strict mold of Only The Most Feminine And Ladylike Things And Nothing Else Is Allowed Ever, and she has never fit comfortably in that in the slightest. She's a girl, she's just a girl who needs to not be told how girls should be, and be left to play in the mud in dresses without frills.

Maddie T is also a cis girl pretty sure, but she's very gnc and generally doesn't care that much about it. To her, gender is ultimately something to play around with. Pronouns and presentation are a huge dressup closet filled with all manner of clothes and costumes. She has her base, but if ever she's given the opportunity, she'll sure as heck try on whatever the heck else for a minute on top of it. Sure, throw the word "boy" at her, you've stuck a funny little hat on her head, she can do a silly little dance in this for a bit! They/them pronouns? Ooooh, ambiguity, she can detach from all concept of gender for a bit and just be a creature of color and madness and bounce and boing that doesn't need a gender! What fun!

Eliote is a cis girl who also doesn't care very much about gender. But not in the way of Maddie T where it's fun to play with, just in the way where she's like "Why does it matter? Who the frick cares? Aren't there just near-infinite more important things in the world?" She'll correct you if you use the wrong pronouns for her or anything, but beyond that she just doesn't really give it much thought.

2) What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic/sexual/platonic alterous ect) Do they have opinions about it?

Allets is bi. Possibly also acespec in some way. Her parents have very much drilled into her that Gay = Wrong, so there's a lot of repression and denial and shame about it for her for quite some time. She eventually does get to start shedding that and getting to be more comfortable or even proud eventually of her being bi. As to being acespec, I think if she’s acespec then for the longest time she just doesn't even realize. And while it does make for possible complications with the "gonna need to Do The Thing to produce an heir to the throne one day" thing, in general she doesn't consider it to be as consequential as her bisexuality and it doesn't weigh as much on her mind.

Maddie T is aroace and proud! Glad to not have to deal with any romance or sex related woes in her life, glad for the perspective it gives her on others', and just generally happy to be as she is.

Eliote is either bi or gay. Possibly also acespec, maybe also arospec. She doesn't have an opinion on the gender(s) she's attracted to. She does, however, get freaked the heck out by experiencing attraction at all.

3) How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

Allets definitely didn't always know. A major factor in her questioning has gotta be this one experience she had with another princess in her preteen years, but she does push that deep deep down for awhile. I've just thought that the more she breaks away from her parents' conditioning in general, she eventually does get to a point where she starts seriously thinking about it and eventually realizing/admitting it to herself. Dunno if it happens in conversation with Eliote and possibly Luna and Jewel or if it happens when she's just thinking to herself. Dunno if anything in particular happens to exacerbate and push her towards it or not. Though maybe the entire environment of SGE helps with that somewhat, the School for Good is like, SO cisheternormative, it's quite possible the discomforts with that kinda push her towards realizing. In any case, she definitely initially feels shame upon realizing, but gets past that in time.

Maddie T always knew. She looked at romance and sex and was like "hmmm no not for me no thanks <3" and that was it.

Eliote just kinda never gives it a single thought until she experiences some attraction.

8) Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

Allets with her homophobic parents, definitely. As I've said, gonna have to take awhile for her to realize and accept herself.

Maddie T? LOL, NOPE. She knows who she is, she loves who she is, she doesn't give a flying fart what anycreature else thinks or says or does.

Eliote, yeah. Entirely internal reasons for her. I think as a younger kid she was very grossed out by romance and any shift from that is a mindfrick and a half for her. And she's always considered romantic relationships just Not An Option For Her, not gonna happen, would never work, why even want one, but it's hard to tell how much of that is actually not wanting them and how much of that is just more of the "don't get close to people don't let people in you're fine you're fine you're FINE" mindset. So yeah, if she ever seriously Catches Feelings TM, she's gonna go insane about all of that for some time.

#oc asks!! #allets #maddie t #eliote #thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[coochiequeens]

This is a heartbreaking story of a young man who grew with a conservative family hostile to gender nonconformity. Then once he moved the USA and was exposed to the trans cult and doctors that were willing to perform experimental surgery.

I call myself Shape Shifter. 

While the name is not my own, I feel it describes me well. I have traversed the darkest reaches of the so-called “gender spectrum” in search for what – who – I was, and transformed myself in the process multiple times.

I can say now that I am a 31-year-old gay male who lived life as a transgender woman for a decade.

I grew up in predominantly Muslim country in Eastern Europe. From the youngest years of my life, I was ‘gender non-conforming,’ and even before I hit puberty I knew I wasn’t like the other boys. But as I got older, I realized that my sexuality and desire to present myself the way I felt most comfortable was not accepted by the society I had been born into. I was rejected both at school and in the home. Bullied by peers, and treated as a burden by my family for my femininity. 

My father would tell me I “wasn’t a real man.” 

My mother expressed shame over my height and physical attributes.

It doesn’t take long to drown when you’re thrown into a sea of resentment with no lifejacket.

Slowly but surely, I began to hate everything about myself. My “feminine” body and mannerisms were a burden, as was my sexuality. Still, all I could focus on was improving my English with the dream I could leave my country and move to the West.

When I was 20-years-old, that dream became a reality. I moved to the United States to begin graduate school, and for a moment breathed the fresh air of a liberation I’d never before known. I was finally able to grow out my hair and dress in the manner I preferred, and I could be openly gay without fear of persecution.

But that moment was tragically brief. 

A question from a well-meaning classmate would put the breaks to the freedom I was enjoying.

“What are your pronouns?” 

I was confused, uninitiated. I’d never been exposed to the concepts present in contemporary gender ideology before, and began to research into it like any curious person would. Little did I know at the time, every page I scrolled through and concept I learned was tugging me farther and farther away from the liberation I had just barely begun to enjoy.

Faced with an avalanche of testaments to affirmation and validation, I began to convince myself I was a “straight woman” trapped in a man’s body. After the life I had lived, wrought with such repression and condemnation, it almost made sense.

It explained everything, in fact. The reasons why I never fit in or felt comfortable with my body suddenly became crystal clear. The logic behind it also promised an escape, something I had been desperately searching for my whole life. 

I could be free from the homosexuality that I had been shamed for since my earliest years. I could be free from being a “feminine” man. I could be a heterosexual woman. Then I could be accepted, find love, and live a normal life.

In my excitement, I almost immediately began presenting myself as a transgender woman. I distanced myself from my gayness and my maleness. I changed my pronouns and quickly changed my name and legal documents.

But despite my initial feelings I had done the right thing, the escape – the freedom – I sought continued to elude me.

While I had been told while I was growing up that I was too ���feminine,” male sexual partners were now telling me I was too “masculine,” and not womanly enough. I decided it must have been because my “wrong body” still needed medical correction.

I was able to get feminizing hormones rather quickly through Fenway Health in Boston, Massachusetts, which only required me to tell them I was living as a woman and “felt” like a girl on the inside. Soon after, I got facial feminization surgery and breast implants. 

While my dating pool initially increased, I was told by members of my transgender community that men who were comfortable with my penis were “tranny chasers” who didn’t see me as a real woman. This, coupled with the fact these men often didn’t want anything to do with me out of the bedroom, made me feel like I would never find true love until I had completed all of the surgeries associated with transitioning. My mental health began to deteriorate, and I decided that I needed bottom surgery in order to feel happy.

I ended up getting two letters from mental health professionals at Fenway Health stating that I had gender identity disorder and that I was a good candidate for sex reassignment surgery. At no point was I asked about my childhood trauma, the repression of my sexuality in my home country, or even whether I had any co-morbid mental health concerns. They assumed that my depression and anxiety issues were due to gender identity disorder, and that radical medical intervention would be the solution.

I had my surgery in 2015, and my life has been a living hell since then.

The “neo-vagina” the surgeon had constructed was too tight for comfortable penetrative sex, and I started rapidly loosing depth despite rigorous and painful dilations because my body was treating the tunnel as a wound and was constantly trying to heal itself.

Within a few months, I was back on the operating table to widen the constructed passage. The surgeon blamed me for not dilating enough, though I had followed the instructions he’d given. Even after I left the hospital, I lost one inch of the canal’s depth in the drive from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts as my body continued to treat the surgical creation as a wound that needed to be closed.

Despite all of my efforts, most of which resulted in extreme discomfort during urination, the canal was narrowing once again. 

My second revision was done with a different surgeon, one who harvested tissue from my colon in order to add it to the constructed canal. Within one month, the passage had tightened once again and dilation was painful.

By my third revision surgery, I had done so much research that I was begging the surgical team to order certain supplies to keep my passage from closing again. During this surgery, my pelvic bone was shaved down to make the entrance 

to my hole wider. But after I removed the inflatable stent I had inserted during surgery, I discovered I had developed a colorectal fistula — an abscess-like infection. I had to be scheduled for fistula repair surgery.

The fourth revision to my neo-vagina resulted in the fistula tearing back open.

It was then that I realized no one had known what they were doing. Everything was experimental. All of it was being made up as they went along — and I was nothing more than a guinea pig.

I later discovered the surgeon, Dr. Salgado, who had done my last three revisions was let go from the University of Miami for taking pictures of his patients while they were under anesthesia and posting them to Instagram.

Currently, my neo-vagina is only 1 inch deep. I have spent thousands of dollars flying across the United States trying to find a surgeon with a solution, but I have been told that due to the amount of revisions I have had, any attempts would likely result in me having to wear a colostomy bag.

I realize now that in my search for freedom… I have mutilated myself.

I lost my perfectly healthy genitals. I lost my 20s. I lost family and friends. I lost my chance at a comfortable, fulfilling sex life. 

My insurance, however, has paid out over $250,000 to surgeons and hospitals for the various hack-jobs that had been performed on my body. Everyone made out like a bandit, yet I had nothing to show for it. Not one of the surgeons who lined their pockets off of my trauma has ever called to check up on me, ask about my quality of life, or see if I was still alive.

In 2018, I made my first YouTube video discussing my complications. At the time, I was still living as a “woman,” and I had thought I would document my thoughts and experiences as I believed they were rare.

But after I uploaded my first videos, I had many trans-identified individuals write me and explain they were in similar positions. I realized there were a lot of people with complications, but they weren’t included in any official statistics or data. 

Just as my journey had started, it would end with research. 

I realized hormone treatments were not even FDA approved for treatment of gender dysphoria. That there were no studies proving that hormone replacement therapy was safe in the long run. And, just as I had thought, all of the surgeries were experimental.

But more than anything else, I realized I was not a “woman.” I was a gay man who had been sold a lie.

After everything I have been through. I realize medical transition destroyed my mental and physical health, and lowered my quality of life substantially. 

At 31-years-old, I have osteoporosis and scoliosis from the impact of hormone replacement therapy. In fact, my testosterone was so low that in January I began taking it to improve my bone density. My T-levels increasing resulted in a slew of extreme emotions towards my transition. It was as though a part of my brain that had been dormant was activated, and I was suddenly wrought with the full depth of the realization that I had made a mistake I could never take back.

I was at my breaking point, and experienced suicidal ideations. Entering therapy helped me realize I had heavy childhood trauma that should have been addressed prior to ever allowing me to proceed with an irreversible medical intervention. I discovered I had borderline personality disorder as well as body dysmorphia, and no matter how far I took my surgical modifications, I would have never felt “at home” in my body.

Since I have come out as a detransitioner, I have spoken to so many people like me whose stories are important and deserve to be heard. In fact, I believe the detransitioner community will be growing exponentially in the coming years. It is tragic to think about the parents who will one day realize they ruined their child’s body by jumping to “affirm” how they perceived themselves at one moment in time — kids who may have just been gay or gender-nonconforming like myself.

I have also met criticism from those who still subscribe to gender ideology who claim that me speaking on my experiences will take away “life saving” care from trans people. 

But I got that care. And where is my life?

Sometimes I feel like I am in a nightmare I will wake up from. My eyes will open and I will have my original body and have my whole life ahead of me to make decisions. Since beginning testosterone, I also sometimes get ‘phantom penis’ symptoms which are extremely traumatic. 

Medical detransitioning is even more experimental than medical transitioning, but I am not rushing into anything anymore. One thing for sure, I will never again identify as transgender woman — a label that not only endorses questionable medical experimentation, but also has a negative impact on the rights and dignity of females.

My idea of freedom is different now than it was those years ago, but the challenges are, ironically, the same.

In addition to the criticism from those who champion gender ideology, I also get flak for having long hair and nails but identifying as a man. Yet again I am being criticized for not fitting certain rigid definitions of masculinity — the very thing that set me down this path in the first place. 

But I am done trying to ‘correct’ myself to please others. 

I am done shifting shapes.

By Shape Shifter

Shape is a guest opinion contributor at Reduxx. He is a recently detransitioned male who now advocates for the rights of gender nonconforming people to be protected from medical transition.