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purplecoffee13 · 11 months

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Dangerous Love*

Summary: You know Harry’s dangerous, but isn’t that what makes it all the more exciting?

Wc: 5.3k

Tropes: POSSESSIVENESS, mafia!harry, friends-with-benefits-to-lovers, forbidden love

Warnings: degradation, slight BDSM, daddy!kink, edging & overstimulation if you squint

A/N: Yeah… about this one. I- I’ll just be in the corner, thinking about my actions…

THIS HASN’T BEEN PROOFREAD, I’LL DO THAT LATER!!!

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You had sworn off Harry months ago. When you found out he had been participating in some... illegal activities, it was over.

Your family was powerful, important, and most of all very clean. Harry Styles had been trying to make it in the real estate business as well, but there had been talk going around, talk of odd situations and fishy circumstances.

Your family had told you to not interact with him or any of his family on a voluntary basis, and to not hold the conversation on too long if confronted with his family anyway.

Now, you were never one to listen to your family. You had always advocated against prejudice and you firmly believed that one should never judge a book by its cover. And out of all people, you really didn't expect Harry to be the person to prove her wrong.

In the months that you had gotten to know each other at events, it had become clear that you were attracted to each other, so you two set up a relationship. A friends with benefits relationship, that was. Knowing that anything else would be too complicated, this was the best option.

It was thrilling, doing something that was wrong, while feeling so right.

But when one day you found a huge stash of coke in Harry's basement, you retreated your entire relationship with him. You couldn't have the demolition of the family weighing on your shoulders, purely out of sexual needs.

You had held up this attitude on for quite a while. It had been three months. Sure, you hadn't shared the bed with anyone because you were secretly afraid that no else would ever live up to Harry, but that was besides the point.

It was besides the point that he knew every one of your kinks and the perfect way to play into them. And it certainly didn't keep you staring at him during the entirety of this charity gala that was held at his mansion tonight.

Nope, didn't bother your at all

Despite what you had seen, Harry had built legitimacy in the last months and people had started to slowly learn to trust him. Your parents were still skeptic about him (rightfully so), but the rest of the community had already warmed up to the Styles family.

It hadn't been easy to keep your eyes off Harry, especially with him dressed in that all black suit of his. It was certainly a sight to see and you had almost spilled champagne on yourself the first time you got lost in his eyes. You didn't miss the way his mouth quirked up. He knew.

The entire evening went slow, and you tried not to look to disinterested when your date, a guy that your parents had tried to match you with, asked you to dance. You politely accepted and did your best not to yawn as he talked about some 'impressive' business deal he made.

Then, suddenly, someone tapped on his shoulder and asked to borrow you for a dance. Naturally, your date accepted the request from none other than Harry, and soon you found yourself dancing with him.

You'd tried your best to keep your distance, but it was really hard, mainly because he had a really tight grip on your waist. His face was leaning against the side of yours, and you heard him inhaling your perfume. You didn't dare close your eyes, you were afraid someone would see how much you were secretly enjoying this moment.

When the dance came to an end, Harry whispered something to you.

"Meet me in my bedroom in ten minutes."

Without another word, he kissed your hand and let you go, walking away to entertain some guests. You returned to your family, who asked if everything was alright and you confirmed that it was.

After five minutes of eagerly waiting, you excused yourself from your family, claiming to visit the ladies room and then step outside for some fresh air.

Instead, you took a different route and quietly headed upstairs until you had reached the bedroom. You sat down on the king sized bed and waited in agony, but soon enough the door clicked open.

For a second you were afraid it was someone else, but those worries flew out the window the moment you saw Harry's satisfied grin at the sight of you sitting on his bed.

"I knew you'd come." He stalked towards me. "You'll always come back to me."

You just looked up at him with big eyes, waiting for him to make the next move. You still weren’t sure what you were doing here, all you knew is that you needed to see him again.

"Did you come here with a date?" He asked in a soft tone, caressing your cheek as he leaned down to be on eye to eye level with you.

You didn't say anything, simply leaning your head into his hand and closing you eyes. There was no one to see you now, so it was safe to enjoy his touch.

"Answer me."

"Yes... I did."

"And yet, you're here. Sitting in front of me, knowing what I'm going to do, now that I have you to myself." He kept his tone sweet, but the contradiction of his dominant words made your heat throb.

"Harry–"

You were cut off by his hand flying to your neck, slightly choking you before you could finish your sentence.

"I don't remember that we agreed on that name, now did we?"

Dramatic ass.

"Sir... please. I've missed you, I've felt so empty without you." You immediately began to plead, automatically playing into his sexual preferences. Harry liked to be in control and you liked to give it to him. There was no one who could do it like he could.

"Poor little thing, have you been so deprived?" He rhetorically asked, to which you immediately started to nod. He gave a little squeeze with his hand, tightening his grip around your neck before resuming to the looser grip it had before. There was no stopping the whines that fell from your lips, they just happened.

"Yeah, you fucking did that to yourself, didn't you? When you walked away from me." Harry's tone had lowered and he sounded very frustrated, he sounded angry.

"Didn't you?"

"I did, sir." You complied, your submissive side taking over completely. It was very easy for you to give into him, especially because you knew what you'd get in return.

"So?" He pushed further, wanting you to apologize to him for making the both of you suffer for so long.

"'M sorry, sir." Your doe eyes met his blown pupils, and you felt yourself getting wetter with every passing second just from the feeling of his rings against your neck. Harry chuckled at your apology, and you could have expected the words that came out of his mouth next.

"I don't think you’re sorry, darling." He smirked at you, letting go of his hold on you and walking to the chair in the corner of the bedroom. He sat himself down, spreading his legs wide open and rubbing over his thighs.

"I am!" You turned your head towards him, annoyed with the fact that he was discrediting your words.

"Then take off your dress, get on your knees and show me you're fucking sorry."

You couldn't have possibly been quicker to take off your clothes. Harry leaned back in his chair with lit up eyes as you sank to the ground and got on hands and knees. There was no missing the bulge that grew more painful with every inch that you came closer.

You loved these kinds of moments, those were you knew you affected him just as much as he did you.

He simply waited as you un-did his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Only when you pulled his pants down a little bit did he shuffle along to get in a comfortable position. His cock sprung out of his underwear, and from the looks of it he was painfully hard.

You had missed his cock. You had missed the way it felt in your hands, in your mouth, in your pussy. The ragged sigh that fell from your lips was one of desperation. You couldn't wait to have him inside of you again, but you knew you had to work for it.

With a desperate expression on your face, you darted your eyes up to Harry, waiting to see if he had any instructions you should follow. You practically melted at the way when sat there, leaned back with his head resting on his palm.

"Go ahead." He encouraged, and that was enough for you to spit on your hand and start stroking his length. Harry's jaw clenched in an instant and his body shifted just a tiny bit at your touch, but you noticed it nonetheless.

A breath of relief came all the way back from his throat, and it induced every bit of your confidence to see him crumble at your touch. You kept stroking him for a bit before you decided that enough was enough, you needed him in your mouth.

Reaching closer, you softly planted your lips against his throbbing erection, and heard him gasp at the feeling of it. You spent the first few moments focusing on his sensitive tip and massaging his balls before pulling away from his hard shaft completely.

He had only opened his eyes halfway when you licked a stripe all the way from the base of his cock to the tip, and then took him in your mouth. His sudden body spasm caused his cock to dig deeper into your mouth, reaching the back of your throat. You moaned loudly, knowing you'd be completely drenched through your panties if he'd repeat his actions.

Harry hadn't missed your extremely loud and arousing reaction to him accidentally shoving his dick further up your throat. He had always just let you suck his dick. Out of the many things you'd tried together, he had never fucked your face before.

He was satisfied to hear you yell against his cock when he did it again.

"Do you like choking on my cock, sweetheart?" He questioned, bucking his hips when you squeezed his balls a bit. In retaliation, he gathered your hair together and wrapped it around his head.

"Let's see how well you can get me off, huh?" He grinned before pushing your head down on his cock. You focused on breathing through your nose as he used you as if he was using his own hands, and you loved it.

The noises that came out of your mouth were desperate and almost embarrassing. You looked up at Harry, who had his head thrown back as he went crazy with working himself up to an orgasm.

"You're such a fucking desperate cock slut. J-Just for me..." He talked to you, but mainly to get closer to his orgasm. You kept on touching his balls and let him use you to work himself to his high.

"Ah, I'm gonna cum– Fuck!" In the middle of his sentence, Harry's tight grip on your hair loosened and you felt the first spurts of his cum shoot through your throat. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling proud of yourself for making him come so fast.

He pulled your head away from his cock and stroke his hand over your hair until it looked slightly less messy.

Without so much as a word, he put on his pants again and got out of his seat. He grabbed your wrist and guided you to his bed, where he ordered you to sit with your back leaned against the bed frame.

You patiently waited as he rummaged through his drawer and turned around with two ties in his hand. You tried to hide the grin that formed on your face, you knew this meant you were going to have great sex.

Whenever Harry did anything that involved bondage, it meant that you were going to have a great orgasm. You both got so turned on from it, and you had no idea why.

You obeyed him sweetly when he ordered you to hold your hands up, and looked at him with fond eyes as he tied your to his bed and blindfolded you. After the knot was secured, you heard his footsteps walking towards what you assumed to be the end of the bed.

"You look so pathetic, totally at my mercy. Be a good girl and stay still for me until I'm back." He bragged, drenching your core with his dirty words, until you realized what he was saying.

"Until you're back–" You couldn't even finish your sentence before the door slammed to interrupt it.

You couldn't believe it. Was he going to make you wait here? Tied up and blindfolded? What a fucking dick.

The wait was excruciating, especially considering your lack of knowledge about when he'd be back. It felt like hours, even though you knew it wasn't, maybe one hour. Nonetheless you suffered as you waited until Harry was choosing to come back to make you feel good.

You did realize how wrong it was to be so aroused by the fact that he used you like a rag doll, but you were also aware that your kinks didn't define anything about you in your day to day life. It was a sexual preference and it didn't say anything about you as a person.

The relief was insane when you heard the bedroom door open and a pair of footsteps graced the wooden floors.

"I got your phone, love." You heard Harry's footsteps stalk towards you. "Texted your mother and said you went home early because you were feeling sick."

"Thank you, sir."

At this point, you'd do and say anything for an orgasm, including thanking him for everything he did.

"Such good manners, darlin'. I think you should put those to use and inform your little date that you're not interested anymore, or ever were in the first place."

You hummed in agreement. You had never liked Dylan, and this was a good excuse to get him out of the way. Harry took your blindfold off, and though the soft light was harsh on your eyes, you were glad you could finally see him.

What you hadn't expected, though, was for Harry to actually call Dylan with your phone and lay the device next to you. You instantly started freaking out.

"Right now?!" You exclaimed, stressed and hoping Dylan wouldn't pick up.

"Yes." Harry answered like it was the most logical thing in the world.

"But–"

"Tell him or I won't let you cum." He barked, and just as he finished his sentence, Dylan picked up, and Harry went down.

His mouth touched your heat the second you heard a 'hello' through your phone's speaker.

"Dylan, hi!" You said breathily.

"Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere. Where are you?" He asked. The worry in his voice made Harry roll his eyes. He might have thought you couldn't see it, but during sex you would never keep your eyes off of Harry for even one second, and that included today.

"Oh.. I-I went home early. 'M not feeling so good!" You shrieked when Harry suddenly started to kitten lick your clit. The fucker really wanted you to slip up.

"Are you okay?"

"No! Yes! I mean, I almost tripped but I'm fine." You quickly made up an excuse. You couldn't tell if your cheeks were red from extreme embarrassment or plain arousal. Probably both.

"Okay. D'you want me to come over?"

As soon as those words left Dylan's mouth, Harry pulled away and spanked your clit, making your hips buck and let out a yelp.

"Hello?"

"N-no! I wanted to talk to you about that..." you said, and the whiny tone in your voice sounded like you were getting emotional over it, when in reality you were just frustrated with Harry teasing you so much. "I don't think we should date anymore."

"What? Why not? Did I do something?"

"I just–" I looked down at Harry, who raised his brows at me, which meant 'go on, tell him'.

"I'm... with somebody else."

"Wait what?" The aggression in Dylan's voice made Harry stop in his tracks. He got off the bed and sat next to you before slipping in two fingers without warning. You let out a gasp, quite literally crumbling at his touch, but he was focused on the phone call, a deep crease between his brows as he listened to Dylan.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me that three dates ago?"

Harry's eyes darted towards you, waiting for your answer. It seemed like he was genuinely curious about what you had to say.

"It's complicated, okay? I just– I can't date you anymore, I belong to someone else now."

You couldn't bring yourself to keep your eyes open as you answered Dylan. It was true, you did belong to Harry. You could pretend all you want but at the end of the day he was right, you'd always come back to him. Dylan could listen for all you cared, you just needed Harry inside of you.

"I don't think it's complicated, I just think you're a slu—”

Suddenly, the phone call stopped.

Your eyes shot open, and you were met with the sight of Harry throwing your phone on the chair next to the bed.

With a bit of tension in your stomach from the words you'd uttered just before, you watched as Harry pulled his fingers out of you and made his way back to his former position, with his head between your legs.

He didn't say anything, he just put his tongue on your clit and started flicking mercilessly while simultaneously shoving three fingers inside of you. You screamed out at the sudden motion, giving your wrists a hard tug against the knotted tie around them.

Your back arched as you felt your high nearing. You didn't think you would have the ability to wait until you got verbal permission from Harry to come, but the way he was attacking your clit seemed like permission enough.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck... I'm gonna cum, 'm gonna– oh my god! Please!" You rambled on and on, feeling the need to beg for a release anyway. It was like your body didn't allow you to do anything unless he said so.

"Please, please... daddy, please!" The desperate cries made him moan out, the vibrations on your clit sending shocks through your body. He ripped his mouth away from you and replaced it with his finger which rubbed dizzily fast circles on your clit.

"C'mon, soak my fingers baby."

His taunting voice was the last thing you heard before a high pitched ringing took over, and you could've sworn you blacked out for a second. The pulsating waves of pleasure took over your entire body from head to toe, and soon enough you realized what was happening.

You had just squirted all over the bed, and Harry.

Your entire body felt exhausted from this orgasm alone, and you found yourself wondering how the hell you were going to survive tonight because you knew it wouldn't be the last one.

"Fucking hell." Harry breathed a soft chuckle of pride, taking off his now wet dress shirt. "I've never been able to get you to do that before."

"I've never been able to do that before, ever." I laughed along, flabbergasted at how good that felt. Harry just smiled, a real smile, before he crawled over you and undid the knot that tied you to the bed. He threw the tie to the side and leaned forwards to cup your face before kissing you. You instantly wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing him against you even more. As your tongues circled around each other, Harry slowly switched positions until he was laying besides you .

The kiss lasted a while, and it held a newfound passion to it that you hadn't experienced in your previous times kissing Harry. When he pulled away, he kept himself quiet, scanning every feature in your face while his thumb stroked your cheek.

"Did you mean that?" He finally spoke up.

"What?" You slightly tilted your head, confused with his soft tone all of a sudden. You weren't used to this version of him.

"That you're mine."

"Harry, I—"

"Because I want you to be. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours, if you'll have me." He confessed, and you could've sworn you felt yourself melt into the bed.

Your parents were going to disown you. You were going to get kicked out of the house and have nothing left but the words of an unpredictable man.

There had never been a clearer, better answer for this, and yet you found yourself still wanting to say the exact opposite.

"My parents hate you, Harry. And for the right reasons. Your life... it's dangerous. I shouldn't be getting sucked into that." You began talking, and saw the way he lost hope for a positive answer.

Suddenly, you rolled over so that the both of you were flipped, and you were sitting on his lap. He laid there, eyes a bit wide at you suddenly taking charge. He was obviously curious to see where it was going, otherwise he wouldn't have let you.

"I know all of this..." You leaned forwards stroking your hands through his hair. "And I still can't keep my hands off of you."

With those words you pulled at his roots, making Harry wince under you. His jaw was slacked, and he felt confused with how arousing this was. Harry had never been in any other position than the dominant one, nothing else had ever turned him on before, except for this, for you.

"I know I shouldn't, but I still can't stop myself from craving your big, sweet cock." You continued, taking off your bra and smirking at the way his tattooed chest rose up and down quickly sight of your bare breasts. You lifted yourself up a bit, getting your pussy in line with the tip of his cock.

"And I can't help but–" you cut yourself off with a loud moan as you sank on his hard and long shaft. Slowly but surely, you began to grind back and forth, getting comfortable with his length again as it had been a while.

"Oh! Mmm, fuck!" You cried out.

"Look at you—" Harry leaned on his elbows, looking up at you with fond eyes. "fucking yourself with my cock. Does that feel good, baby?"

"Mm.. ah– it feels so good sir." You were panting now, overwhelmed with how good it felt to have him inside of you again. You started bouncing yourself on his dick to get some tempo into it.

"Such pretty tits." He mumbled, fondling them and pinching your nipples. "All mine, baby?"

He couldn't help but ask, you didn't finish your little speech after all because you were too desperate for his cock.

"Tell me." He encouraged, spanking your ass with his right hand, which made you sink down on his cock very swiftly. "Are you mine, now?"

You moaned and cried and whined, but still managed to conjure a slight smirk on your face as you looked at him.

"Make me yours, daddy."

That was enough for Harry, and before you knew it, you were pulled off his cock and thrown on the bed, laying on your stomach.

In an instant, you felt your lips being lifted up and his cock being sunk into you again. Harry leaned forward to grab your worst and hold them on your back, before nearly pulling out and then ramming himself into you at an ungodly pace. It caused a high pitched scream to leave your mouth, something which did not happen often during sex for you.

"That's right, take it." he kept his quick pace steady as you gasped from under him. "Whose fucking pussy is this, hmm? I wanna hear you say it."

Your sounds were slightly muffled by the pillow and therefore incomprehensible, so he leaned over and grabbed your neck, choking you as he pulled your head up.

"C'mon, who owns you?"

"You do! Fuck! You own me, daddy, I'm yo– oh! 'M yours!" Your answer came out like it was word vomit. You couldn't stop saying everything he wanted to hear, and he loved it. He got off on your submission to him, on the way you let him be in control. He'd never admit it, but the main reason he took such a liking to it is because it showed that you trusted him despite what you knew about him.

He kept pounding into you, and smirking when he felt your core clenching against his cock already.

"You gonna cum already?"

"Mm.. yesss!"

"Pathetic little cock slut... you just love getting used, don't you?"

When you didn't answer, he spanked you, hard.

"I do! I do, sir!" You quickly replied, your ears ringing from the stinging pain on your bum.

"You know you're nothing more than a hole for me to use at any time I want. My filthy little whore. All mine, forever." It was now Harry's turn to start rambling, and he almost lost himself, but quickly regained traction. He wasn't done with you, and he couldn't permit himself to cum yet.

You did cum, though. The moment the word 'forever' left his mouth, you exploded, in every way possible. You entire body was spasming and Harry slowed himself down as you creamed his cock. The sounds of your intercourse become more adamant now that there was more... liquid involved, and hearing Harry's cock in your pussy was the definition of arousal for you.

Harry didn't exactly let you ride out your high, instead pushing you fully down on the bed and flipping your body so you were laying on your sides. He held his hands firmly on your hips as he went to lay down behind you.

You were quite surprised with the position, it was something you two had never done before. Harry always deemed positions like that to be too intimate, so it felt out of the ordinary for him to have you like this, but now that you were being really intimate it also felt way better.

The groan leaving Harry's throat when he pushed himself inside you again confirmed that he was thinking the same thing. Your jaw was slacked, euphoria shooting through your body at the feeling of the new angle and a certain spot he managed to hit very easily.

"O-oh my..." The half-sentence escaped your lips before you could even think about what you were saying.

"Did I hit your sweet spot, baby? Is that right?" Harry taunted. His body was entirely pressed up against yours, and you could hear him panting against your neck.

"Yeah— Fuck!"

Your response was interrupted by Harry, who decided that it was the perfect timing for him to get in an extra hard thrust. Solely that action had almost made you come, and while you felt it slowing down quickly afterwards, it didn't take long to rise again when he started kissing your neck.

You turned your head around with the energy you had left, and pleaded for him to kiss you, to which he happily obliged. The taste of him against your lips, the feeling of him inside of you and the sound of his skin slapping against yours proved too much for you to bare, but you desperately wanted to try and come undone at the same time. And so, you pulled away from Harry's soft lips to whisper some dirty words right back to him.

"Harry, baby..." you said in a whiny voice, causing him to moan. You knew he wouldn't approve of you just calling him Harry between the sheets, you were taking a risk with this, but luckily he didn't mind.

In fact, he was going mad. Those words sounded so good coming from your mouth, especially now he knew that they were directed to him.

"Wh-what is it, darling?" He tried to keep his composure, almost exploding at the mere sight of you looking so fucked out.

"I want you to cum, daddy... with me. Please? I've been so good." You requested, putting up your best puppy eyes. Harry winced at your words, knowing there was no holding him back now.

"I'll fill you up, baby. Get yourself there again, then." He managed to say, rocking into you more slowly, but with more impact. It was easier to keep up at least some rhythm this way.

You guided your hand to your sensitive clit and started rubbing it ferociously. You're were aware of the fact that Harry wasn't going to be able to hold it in for much longer. With how aroused you were, you didn't think it to be much of a problem. Harry's right hand had traveled to your tits in the mean time, massaging them harshly while he resumed rocking into you. And just like clockwork, you were getting dangerously close to your orgasm again.

"I'm gonna cum, daddy! Ahh!!" You screamed out shamelessly, unable to stop yourself from rubbing your clit. It was as if your fingers were glued to your vagina, you couldn't deny yourself from this orgasm. The way your pussy was pulsating was also noted by Harry, who was growling like an animal. He became more and more aggressive with how hard he was fucking into you, the entire bed shaking from the impact.

"Jesus fuck— I'm coming, I'm— argh!" the string of incoherent words left his mouth as your body bounced along to his slamming thrusts. Soon enough, you heard some exhausted moans coming from Harry as he fucked himself through his orgasm. The beautiful sounds from your now-boyfriend were the final thing that brought you to your third climax of the night.

You screamed out in ecstasy, as the pulsating waved of pleasure took you away for a second. It felt like all your sense had shut off for those moments, and that there was nothing else but immense pleasure.

Harry came inside you, filling your walls with his cum. It felt too good to be true, especially combined with the guttural grunts coming from the back of his throat as he buried his head into your neck. When you noticed the grip on your hips had become less firm, you knew that he was slowly coming down from his orgasm. You both were both still panting, and kept silent as Harry carefully pulled himself out of you.

The empty feeling you had was made up for by a ton of kisses to your neck and your cheek, which made you chuckle a bit.

"Are you okay, baby?" Harry asked. No matter how many times you guys shared the bed, you would never not get butterflies from his attentiveness after the sex. He'd do everything you asked. Hell, he'd run around town looking for everything you need if he had to.

"Never been better." You turned your head to look at him; you wanted him to know that it wasn't some sarcastic comment. In fact, you were ecstatic with the fact that whatever was going on between the two of you was now settled.

"Can't believe you're mine now." He sighed, his face painted with a smile so big that you could see his dimples from miles away. He planted a kiss to your swollen lips and ran his hands through your messy hair.

"Yeah, you're stuck with me forever." You teased, your hand now also finding his brown locks.

"Hmm, best life sentence I could ask for."

#harry styles #Harry styles smut #Harry styles one shot #oneshot #one shot #Harry styles smut one shot #Harry #styles #fanfic #fanfic one shot #mafia!harry #Harry Edward styles #fanfiction

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1863-project · 3 months

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For the ask game: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

[ask meme]

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I...actually get frustrated with the infantilization and/or demonization of characters that could be read as autistic, because it happens so often and there's such a lack of self-awareness when people do it. If one person headcanons it, a bunch of other people pile on, and before you know it, your character is being treated like someone else entirely - and unfairly so.

Let's take the most obvious example and the reason I don't engage with fandom much:

I am so tired of what fandom at large has done to Emmet since 2010. He's been infantilized since day one, often being portrayed as needing Ingo to take care of him or otherwise be his brother's keeper. He's also been turned into a violent, 'unhinged' stereotype since day one. Neither of these things are new. They've been happening since the release of the games. Neither of them have any basis in his canon characterization - a competent railroad employee who's a goofball but simultaneously responsible and always puts safety first.

I was hoping people had moved past that the way they moved past Blankshipping (though some people still do this, too, EW), but it seems like they haven't. Emmet is still either a helpless child or a serial killer waiting to happen to so many of these people, and as someone who actually felt so validated and seen the first time she discovered Ingo and Emmet, it hurts so deeply.

In real life, I'm also infantilized. I turn 35 this year and have a Master’s degree and work a big grown-up adult archivist job and live outside my parents' house, but because I'm neurodivergent and short, I'm frequently assumed to be and am treated like a teenager way more often than you'd reasonably expect. It's incredibly frustrating to constantly be treated like an innocent child because you don't meet neurotypical benchmarks of adulthood the way they want you to or because of the way you carry yourself or enjoy things. But at the same time, people shy away from me because I'm "too intense" about the things I care about.

Sound familiar?

Fandom was, when I was a younger girl, a place where neurodivergent people (especially autistic and ADHD people) were safe from the real world not understanding, accommodating, and accepting us. We generally kept things on the down-low, since it was another thing we'd be bullied for if people knew, but for us, it was a safe space. Then people realized fandom could be commodified, and once capitalism got a hold on fandom and made it mainstream, all our bullies were suddenly in our little space again, and...well, you probably know the rest. (Yeah, they brought their ableism with them.)

I'm not saying old fandom didn't have its problems. It had a LOT of problems. But it was, altogether, a safer space for neurodivergent people to find community and themselves than it is now. Now it feels more about producing things and moving on to the next big thing to produce more "content" to keep engagement instead of an actual community of nerdy, passionate people getting excited about each other's fanworks and chatting about their favorite things together.

And that reflects in how people treat autistic and autistic-coded characters now. Emmet is one example of many - look at Papyrus, or Entrapta, or numerous others.

This trend really, really fucking hurts, and I cannot stand how willingly fandom spaces just go along with it without thinking critically about it.

#replies #moonflower01 #fandom ableism #autism #actuallyautistic #Pokemon #Submas

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lewmagoo · 11 months

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a curse i cannot lift | rhett abbott

description: in which everything he holds dear is ripped from his grasp

warnings: 18+ only, werewolf au, pregnancy, allusions to sex, perry abbott assaulting people (idk how else to word that lol), murder, violence, blood, kidnapping, angst, werewolves are unfairly targeted in this world

pairing: werewolf!rhett abott x f!werewolf!reader

listen to the playlist here

notes: this is part of 'the wolf' series! you technically don't have to read the first part but it'll make more sense if you do. access the first part here. access the series masterlist here

dedication: to @lovinglyeternal, without you this series wouldn't have been born. also dedicated to @bro-ooke ; thanks for beta reading this for me!

From a young age, Rhett Abbott had been taught that there was no greater honor in life than to obtain a mate. In wolf culture, finding one’s mate was a fateful, sacred occurrence. It was the joining together of two souls as one entity.

And he had found that oneness when he found you. The moment you walked into his life, his entire world changed. His fierce loyalty had always been dedicated to his family, but when the two of you joined your bloodlines, his loyalties changed.

It wasn’t that he’d turned his back on his family. Far from it, in fact. But they no longer came first. It was you that came first, above all others. Together, you were responsible for loving and protecting each other. You had made that pledge to one another on your wedding day, a blood oath that was unbreakable and would withstand the test of time.

Rhett had heard stories of the sacrifices mates were willing to make just to protect one another. But he’d never fully understood the magnitude of such a thing until he had a mate of his own. Sometimes it scared him, and made him feel a little wild, knowing the lengths he would go to to protect you.

But he wasn’t alone, because you were just as territorial over him as he was of you. You had one another’s backs, and swore to each other that you would keep the other safe. However, he would one day find himself unable to fulfill his part of that promise to you, all because of the foolish actions of one man. And those actions would result in Rhett losing you.

But hell hath no fury like a wolf whose mate is stolen from him. And when Rhett Abbott’s fury was unleashed, no one would walk away unscathed.

Neither of you could have ever imagined your lives would be turned upside down. You had only just begun your mateship together. You had made a home for yourselves on Abbott land - an old barn at the edge of the property that Rhett had converted into a living space for the two of you and the family you would soon create together.

Life together was sweeter than you ever could have imagined. From the moment you met him, you felt an all-consuming sense of peace, knowing this was who you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He was the one that had been formed for you by the cosmos before either of you was even born. A collection of burning, blinding, brilliant stars all forged together into one beautiful man with ocean-blue eyes.

But, even for mated werewolves, life still had its difficulties. One’s hardships didn’t miraculously disappear once one found their mate. In fact, the joining together of both of your packs posed its fair share of brand-new issues.

Particularly, the issue of keeping secrets.

The Abbott family was very secretive. There were things weaved through the fabric of their family history that Royal had done his best to bury. Chief of those secrets was the fact that the land they lived upon was not their own.

Historically, werewolves were not treated like high-class individuals. In fact, they were often treated like the scum of the earth. The bottom of the barrel. Humans were afraid of their wild tendencies, and this resulted in irrational, widespread fear.

The wolf community had fought long and hard to obtain equal rights, and after a seemingly never-ending battle, they had finally made some headway. Laws had been put in place, protecting werewolves and their families from discrimination and inhumane treatment.

Laws had also been put in place against hunting werewolves. These laws had been passed in all fifty states before you or Rhett were even born. The werewolf hunting business had once been very successful, but these days, hunters were almost non-existent. Hunting and killing werewolves was now considered a federal crime.

You were of the belief that hunting for sport had been eradicated. The elders in your pack had lived through the days of the hunters, and had seen the laws passed forbidding hunting. They all believed the worst of it was behind them.

But little did you, or your pack, know that there was a family of hunters right in the very town you were living in. A prestigious family at that, one whose money was tainted by the blood of hundreds of innocent wolves.

The Tillerson family had been hunting for centuries. The only reason they decided to stop was all thanks to a little truce made with Royal Abbott.

Long before either of his boys was born, Royal had struck up a deal with Wayne and Patricia Tillerson. The Abbotts were to remain on a specified plot of land. As long as they held up their end of the bargain, the Tillersons would not harm a single hair on any of their heads. But if the Abbotts or their future offspring tried to move to unapproved plots of land, they were fair game.

The reason for this was that they didn’t want werewolves sullying the reputation of Wabang. It was a beautiful town with rich land and even richer oil wells. Werewolves would only drive away tourists and potential buyers that might come through seeking land and agricultural gain.

So, Royal and his wife settled on that specified plot of land, and it became known as the Northeast Wyoming Wolf Reservation. After that, all was seemingly fine and dandy for decades. until your pack came along.

Your pack originally left your hometown because tensions were rising with a neighboring pack. Your family had every right to live there, but the other pack harbored animosity against all of you, and instead of enduring an all-out war, your family, namely your alpha, decided it best to move elsewhere for the safety and well-being of the pack.

So, you found yourselves in Wabang, Wyoming. You joined forces with the Abbott pack, and in a twist of wonderful fate, you met Rhett, the son of Royal, which proved to you that you were always meant to come here, because in any lifetime, in any universe, you would always find him.

Royal was the alpha of the Northeast Wyoming Pack, which wasn’t much to speak of, as it was only him and his family. Royal was old and tired. When your pack came along, and it became clear that you and Rhett were to be mates, Royal willingly gave up his alpha status, because there could only be one alpha over a pack.

He allowed your uncle, Malakai, who was already the alpha of your own pack, to take leadership of the now-conjoined pack. Royal was willing to wash his hands of all of it, and it struck you as odd at first. What wolf willingly gave up their statues like that? But It would all make sense when you eventually learned of his motives. He didn’t want to be the one held responsible if anything happened to the pack. He knew if the Tillersons ever targeted the pack, the responsibility of protecting them would no longer fall upon himself. It would fall upon Malakai. And any wolf who was incapable of protecting their pack would face consequences from the National Werewolf League.

But there was, of course, the fact that Royal hadn’t been honest with your family from the beginning. He had welcomed you into the reservation, allowing you to settle there and make homes for yourselves. He had given over his alpha status. For all intents and purposes, he seemed genuinely happy to welcome your ragtag group into the fold. But he never bothered to warn you that if any of you decided to live elsewhere, outside of the reservation, you might just encounter some hunters.

Rhett hated that his father refused to tell the truth. Royal had even made his family swear they wouldn’t say anything. His reasoning was that it might cause a full-blown massacre if word got back to the Tillersons that the wolves were trying to rebel against the guidelines put in place.

While other state governments recognized werewolf hunting as illegal, the Tillersons had a particularly close relationship with the governor of Wyoming, and the leader of the state had essentially promised that he would look the other way if the wolves violated this agreement and ended up dead. He was just as money hungry as the Tillersons, and he harbored a hatred for werewolves. He was in agreement that the wolves were bad for business and was perfectly content to get rid of them if it meant protecting the state.

While Rhett understood his father’s fear, he believed it was wrong and dangerous not to tell your pack the truth. So, in the early days of your marriage, he finally decided that he could no longer sit on this secret and potentially allow it to put a rift in your marriage, or result in your family being harmed. He wanted to reveal everything to you.

So, one night, he called for a family meeting with just your pack. He had already revealed the truth to you privately, and together, you had agreed that it was only fair to inform the others. So he stood before your family that night and explained to them that they were not as safe as they thought they were.

It took guts for Rhett to go against his father like that. In your eyes, by putting the good of the pack before everything else, he displayed true alpha qualities, and something in you made you believe that someday in the future, he had what it took to take on the role as the new alpha of your pack.

But until then, there were things that needed to be sorted through. Such as the fact that there were hunters in your midst. Your family took the news better than you were expecting, but they were, of course, angry about being lied to.

“But hunting is illegal. How the hell are there even still hunters around?” One of your cousins, Jace, asked.

Rhett sighed. “The Wyoming government doesn’t give a shit about us. The Tillersons have the governor by the balls, he’ll look the other way if wolves end up dead.”

“We could report it to the League.”

“Y’ could,” Rhett replied, “I don’t know how much good it’ll do ya. They’d need proof that the Tillersons were actively hunting wolves. And so far, they aren’t. They’ve kept their noses clean for years. Without proof, the League won’t do anythin’.”

Finally, Malakai, the alpha, spoke up. “This is why your dad gave up his alpha status and let me keep mine when we joined packs, isn’t it? So none of the responsibility would fall on him.”

Rhett grimaced, nodding slowly. “I think so. But you’ll have to talk to him about that. Like I said, he didn’t want me t’ tell any of you. He was tryin’ to avoid a war with the Tillersons. If we start violatin’ our agreement with them, they might get trigger-happy.”

A murmur went through the pack. They didn’t like this situation, but at the moment, there was nothing that could be done. As long as everyone followed the contract put in place, there would be no trouble. And for the time being, it seemed as if nobody had a choice in the matter. Until another course of action could be figured out, things would remain exactly the way they were.

Rhett felt awful to have to break such news to the family. But in the end, you quietly assured him that he’d done the right thing. “I know going against your dad wasn’t easy. But I’m proud of you for making the right decision.”

“How come I still feel lousy about it?” He grumbled.

“It’ll pass,” you assured him.

And it did.

After that moment of honesty, his relationship with your family deepened. They all respected him for what he’d done. He felt loved and accepted in a way he never had before. He found a family that loved him for him. Not for what he could do for them. Not under any conditions. They just loved him. And he could hardly fathom why, but he was grateful.

But above all else, the purest of loves he’d ever felt was your love. Undying, withstanding the rest of time. You adored him, you would lay down your life for him, and he, you. Sometimes the realization stole the very breath from his lungs. Being with you just felt right. He was no longer held down by the binding loyalty he had to his own family. While he still remained loyal to them, you came first, before anyone else.

He made a pledge in his heart, determining that when the two of you had children of your own, he would never put them through what he’d had to endure as a child. A ‘tough love’ father who thought men displaying emotion was weak, and a mother who ultimately loved her children, but her loyalty to her husband overshadowed them, and made them feel like they were not as important.

Rhett would love his child unconditionally and allow them to express their emotions without fear of judgment or consequence. He would be gentle and forgiving and kind, because children deserved such mercies.

As fate would have it, he would one day receive that opportunity.

After your marriage, it didn’t take long for you to fall pregnant. With the way you went at it together during your first heat, there was no doubt in your mind that it would result in conceiving a child. And sure enough, a little while after that initial heat cycle, it happened.

Funnily enough, it was Rhett who figured it out before you even came to the conclusion yourself. And it was all because your scent had changed.

Between werewolves, one’s mate was attracted to them by scent. A mate’s scent was unique and intoxicating to the other. Neither of you would ever forget the first time you caught the eachother’s scent, when you initially met. It was overwhelming and all-consuming.

But now, something was different.

Your scent had changed. That intoxicating, spicy, sweet scent you emitted, for his senses only, had changed into something lighter. Sweeter. Almost like cotton candy. It caught his attention one morning as you were getting ready for the day.

“Stop,” he spoke, his tone low and even. He’d caught you by the arm, his large hand gentle against you.

You smiled curiously as he tugged you closer. “What?” You asked, a breathless giggle on your lips at his behavior.

“Y’ smell different.” He buried his nose against the side of your neck and inhaled deeply. It tickled, but you remained still, watching curiously as he trailed his nose lower, intent on finding the source. He froze for a moment, only to quickly drop to his knees before you. There, he nuzzled your abdomen, breathing in again.

A look of tender amazement softened his features, and he gasped, lifting his hand to press over your tummy. Then his gaze flickered up to meet your own. There were tears in those bright eyes. “You’re carryin’ my pup,” he whispered.

Your own eyes widened, and you lifted your hand, covering your mouth in surprise. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, because you had been hoping this would happen. But you were still overcome with wonderful, all-encompassing elation.

You laughed for joy, kneeling on the floor with Rhett and throwing your arms around his neck. “A baby! We’re having a baby!” You cried happily.

But he leaned back, a strange sense of wonder illuminating his features. The corners of his mouth tugged upwards into a sweet smile. “We’re havin’ a daughter,” he whispered in response, throat tight as tears glimmered in his eyes.

You stared at him in amazement. “H-how…?”

“Your scent. When Rebecca was pregnant with Amy she had that same kinda scent. Like pink cotton candy. Or maybe bubble gum. You smell the same.”

That revelation pulled a musical laugh from you, and you threw your arms around your husband again, bubbling with an excitement that warmed your belly like fizzy champagne.

“

Laughing with you, Rhett leaned back, nuzzling his nose against your own before he kissed you fervently. You melted into him, bodies fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle.

“I knew it wouldn’t be long before I put a pup inside ya,” he murmured against your lips, mouth hot on yours.

You smiled into the kiss. “I knew it, too.”

He pulled back to fully admire you. “My beautiful mate,” he murmured in adoration, splaying his palm over your abdomen. “Mother of my child.”

He spoke with such reverence, but beneath it was a possessive air that made you shiver. You were his. He was yours. Your hearts belonged to each other, intertwined by the Fates themselves.

“Love you,” you sighed, eyes fluttering shut as you let yourself lean into his warm touch.

“I love you too, little wolf.”

You relished in that quiet, intimate moment together, overjoyed that you were finally starting your own family.

There were a few select moments in your lifetime that you would consider the best moments of your entire life. Discovering that Rhett was your mate was one of them. Your marriage to him was another. And finally, learning you were expecting a baby was the cherry on top.

You couldn’t hide your happiness if you tried. As mates, it was your shared dream to further your bloodline. It was considered the highest honor in werewolf culture. You were teeming with excitement, eager to reveal the news to the rest of the pack.

It wasn’t easy to hide, as it was. They would be able to sniff it out no matter how much you tried to hide it. So you didn’t bother hiding it at all. That very day, you shared the news with your families, receiving an emphatic “I knew it!” From your mother, and an excited “I can’t wait to have a baby cousin to play with!” From Rhett’s niece Amy.

That night, a grand celebration followed, and you swore that you didn’t stop smiling once . Oh, how your life had changed. After you announced it to your loved ones, you were happily thrust into the process of making preparations to welcome your little one into the world.

This, of course, included visits to your pack doctor, Rose Tenpenny. You had known Rose your entire life. She was a skilled pack healer and midwife who subscribed to ancient remedies and medicines, the knowledge of which had been passed down to her from her mother, and her mother’s mother before her. There was no one else you’d rather have look after your and your baby’s health than her.

You were on cloud nine as baby preparations followed. The women of the pack got together to make a memory quilt for your baby. All the men set to work building furniture for the nursery. And, best of all, Rhett took it upon himself to build a cradle for the babe. He was skilled with his hands, and he considered it the greatest honor to build this little bed for your child. He put so much love into the creation of that bed, and it touched your heart.

Everything seemed so perfect. Too good to be true. It felt as if nothing could ever take this joy away from you. That is, until it all came crashing down like a mountain avalanche.

Ever since your union with Rhett, you had had a rocky relationship with his brother, Perry. Rhett himself had a complicated past with the man, and since your marriage, he had distanced himself from his brother. He didn’t like the way Perry behaved toward you. Both of you knew it was because Perry harbored jealousy against Rhett.

He was jealous of what you had. Jealous that his little brother had a mate and he didn’t. But the reason Perry didn’t have a mate was because of his own stupidity. He had tried to force it to happen on his own rather than waiting for fate. He fell for a girl named Rebecca. She wasn’t his mate, but he insisted she was. Claimed everyone else didn’t know what they were talking about.

Perry had somehow manipulated Rebecca into believing they were mates. Or, at least, from what Rhett could see, she just went along with it to keep Perry happy. If she wanted to leave, the intention was dashed when she fell pregnant with his child.

She made the decision to stick it out and see if a baby would change Perry’s demeanor. But it didn’t. In fact, it seemed that he only got worse after Amy was born. Rebecca put up with it for the first seven years of Amy’s life, and finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She disappeared into the night, seemingly without a trace.

Perry insisted something had happened. That she would never leave of her own free will. Someone had to have taken her. Rhett, however, believed that she did leave on her own.

You knew things had to be bad for her to leave her own child behind. That went against every instinct of a mother wolf. It made you wonder if there was more to the story. If she’d left with the intention of coming back for her child, but she had met an untimely demise in the process. You supposed you would never receive an answer to that question.

Perry delusionally claimed that he could still feel her out there. Between mates, it was a natural occurrence to be able to feel the other’s presence. And many times, when one was in danger, the other could sense it. Perry insisted he had this with Rebecca, but you knew he didn’t. He had no idea where she was because she wasn’t his to begin with.

In the meantime, his jealousy against his brother only continued to fester. Their relationship had already been strained as it was, but since Rhett had brought you into the picture, it was even worse. The only good thing to come out of it was your relationship with young Amy.

She was sweet as pie and even at her age, she knew the way her father behaved was wrong. It broke your heart that she had to deal with such things, but she didn’t let it slow her down, or change the way she felt about you and Uncle Rhett.

Perry attempted to remain civil while Amy was around, but there were times when he just couldn’t help but run his mouth and get himself in trouble. It had happened on numerous occasions, to the point where Rhett didn’t like bringing you around him

And after you found out you were expecting, your mate grew all the more protective of you. This primal need to keep you safe burned in his belly, and he wouldn’t allow anyone to harm or disrespect you.

But no matter how protective of you he became, Rhett always had full control over his wolf at all times. He could shift at will, and even when he was intensely angry or upset, he could still control the shift and keep himself from going off the rails. But Perry did not have that same control, and because of this, Rhett was always on guard when he was present around you.

His older brother was notorious for losing his temper. Rhett had seen it time and time again. Perry had always been like this. Even as a young boy.

When werewolf pups are born, they are born entirely human, and do not yet possess the ability to shift. That ability usually comes at around ten years of age.

And Perry gained that ability like clockwork on his tenth birthday. Teaching him how to control the shift was a beast in and of itself for Royal and Cecilia. They struggled like hell to help him learn how to shift at will rather than involuntarily.

Around that time, Rhett was still very small. It proved incredibly difficult to raise a little one and train a brand-new wolf. Some things fell by the wayside. Rhett did not receive the love and attention he so desperately needed during that moment in time. It was hard for him to get acclimated as he grew older.

But he saw the way Perry was, how wild his wolf was, and he decided that when his own wolf came in, he would be nothing like his brother. He would learn control.

And he did. Royal and Cecilia hoped Rhett’s ability would rub off on Perry. But, unfortunately, it did not. Instead, Perry got into trouble, and Rhett was always lumped in because he followed his brother around everywhere.

But the worst moment of all was the day Perry lost control at school.

There had always been high tensions between the Tillersons and the Abbott brothers. The three boys had an innate hatred of wolves, a prejudice ingrained within them thanks to their parents. Luke and Billy weren’t particularly aggressive toward Perry and Rhett. But Trevor? He and Perry especially hated each other.

Trevor was known for mouthing off. He’d mouth off at his parents, at his teachers, at innocent passersby in the school hallways. He was a loose canon, and it was only a matter of time before he went off on the wrong person.

Trevor foolishly decided he was going to mess with Perry that day. He caught him in the empty hallway as Perry and Rhett were leaving school. He started jeering Perry, daring him to “go werewolf” on him. Rhett, who was only twelve at the time, and significantly younger and smaller than Trevor and Perry, tried his best to pull Perry away.

But it was no use. The situation escalated until Perry was lunging, and suddenly, there was screaming, and Trevor was on the floor, clutching at his throat as blood poured from a slash wound caused by Perry’s claws.

“What did you do?!” Luke shouted as he knelt beside his wounded big brother. “You’re dead, Abbott! You hear me?! Dead!”

A teacher heard the commotion and came out, only to realize in horror what had happened. 911 was called, as were the Abbott and Tillerson parents. Perry was kept locked in a classroom, alone, until further help could arrive.

In the end, Trevor’s wound was only superficial, and he would go on to make a full recovery. However, he would walk away with a permanent scar on his neck. Four claw marks, acting as a permanent reminder that he’d been attacked by a wolf.

The offense should have garnered a heavier punishment. Patricia Tillerson was out for blood. She wanted to kill Perry for what he’d done to her son. But Wayne had a different approach. As money hungry as he was, he was fine to settle on a payment for what had happened.

Royal paid the Tillersons a hefty sum of money, which nearly drove his own family into financial ruin. They were already struggling to stay afloat as it was, and giving away that big of a sum of money set them back severely. But if he paid the sum, the hunters would leave the Abbotts alone.

So he gave them the money, and after that, the Tillerson boys were enrolled in a private school the next town over, and the instance was swept under the rug.

Angry over how it was handled, and the lack of justice for her son’s pain, Patricia threatened to leave Wayne. He told her to go, but his condition was that she couldn’t take her boys with her. He refused to let his sons go, and he threatened blackmail if she went ahead and took them anyway. So she left, alone and angry, determining that one day, she would gain the retribution she sought.

It took many years, but that opportunity finally presented itself when Wayne Tillerson dropped dead.

You’d heard about his death. The whole town had. But you didn’t care in the least. As far as you were concerned, one less werewolf hunter in the world, the better. But that still left three of his sons.

When Wayne was alive, he refused to let anyone but his lawyer and his accountant read any legal or financial papers. He didn’t let his sons get involved. But when his health started failing him, it became necessary for the boys to step in. As the eldest, Trevor took that mantle upon himself.

But it wasn’t until his father died that he really started doing a deep dive into the seemingly endless paperwork. Financial statements, property deeds, the whole nine. For Trevor, it was the property deeds that caught his attention. Specifically the deed for the land on which the Abbotts lived.

He noticed an interesting little tidbit. It appeared that the property line had been mistakenly marked, and needed to be moved back a significant distance. But it just so happened that that specific plot of land was where you and Rhett lived.

Driven by greed, Trevor took the deed to the family lawyer, insistent upon getting the go-ahead to deliver the news himself. It wasn’t difficult, and soon, he was headed right for the reservation, smug as could be, ready to deliver the blow to your family.

However, when he came lumbering up to your house and knocked loudly on the door, he received no answer. “Abbott!” He shouted, banging a little louder. But the house was empty. You and Rhett had left earlier that morning so you could go in for your monthly prenatal checkup with the pack doctor. You were both blissfully unaware that your lives were about to be turned upside down.

Back at your house, Trevor was tempted to shove the legal paper he held in his hand in your mailbox, but his heart was set on delivering it in person. However, he saw the next best person to deliver it to when he caught a glimpse of Perry just down the way, saddling up his horse.

A smirk tugged at the eldest Tillerson’s mouth. He brushed his fingers over the claw marks that scarred his neck. Maybe this could be his way of getting back at Perry for what he’d done to him all those years ago.

So he marched right toward the stables, and when Perry saw him coming, he visibly tensed. He hadn’t seen Trevor in a long time. As volatile as Perry was, even he himself had no desire to get into it with the man. He knew he’d end up killing him if given the chance, so he kept his distance.

Now, however, Trevor was coming right at him, and there was no way of keeping his distance any longer.

“Hey, Abbott!” He called.

Perry sighed. “What?”

“Any idea where that brother a’ yours is?”

Perry shrugged as he tightened the cinch on the saddle. “Fuck if I know,” he mumbled.

“Well, I have a little somethin’ for him.”

“Huh, guess you’ll have t’ wait ‘til he gets back.”

“I figured I’d just give it to you instead, an’ you can pass the word along.”

Perry rolled his eyes, stepping back toward the stable when he realized he’d set his hat down inside. “I ain’t your messenger, Trevor. Just leave it at his doorstep or somethin’.”

“Thing is, I really wanted to deliver it in person,” Trevor continued, following Perry into the stable. “I want you to read it, too.”

Again, the Abbott brother rolled his eyes, whirling around to snatch the paper from Trevor. “Fine! I’ll give it to ‘im, if that’ll get you off our fuckin’ property.”

At those words, Trevor’s smirk turned into a wicked grin. “Actually, it ain’t your property.”

That caught Perry’s attention. “What?”

“Read it.”

With furrowed brow, Perry quickly unfolded the paper and his eyes skimmed over its contents. Heat flared in his chest. “This is fuckin’ bullshit.”

“You wish. It’s legit. Either you all move that fence of yours back, or you’ll get fined by the state. And you and I both know you ain’t got the money to pay that fine, since your daddy gave it all away to get us to keep our mouths shut about what you did to me when we were kids.”

That struck a chord. The heat in Perry’s chest grew hotter. “You’re just lucky it wasn’t worse,” he grumbled.

Trevor scoffed. “So you’re saying I should be thankin’ you for not ripping out my throat?” He laughed heartily, though it was fake. “Fuck you, Abbott.” His first mistake was reaching out to shove at Perry.

The wolf growled, his eyes flashing yellow. “Get your goddamn hands off me.”

“What are y’gonna do, hm? Kill me? Maim me?”

Perry got in his face. His body trembled as he fought to control his shift. But he had no control, because he’d never learned it. “You got five seconds to get the fuck outta here.”

But Trevor wasn’t afraid. He stood chest to chest, hunter to wolf. “Do it. I dare you. Then they’ll come lookin’ for me, and when they find out you killed me it’s over for you wolves. Is that what you want? To destroy all that civil rights shit your kind fought for?”

Perry seemed to consider his words, and Trevor nodded in satisfaction. “That’s what I thought. You don’t have the balls.” And then, as he was prone to do, he had to add one last blow to his monologue. “Bet that’s why your wife left you. She realized you were a spineless fuckin’ co-”

He never did finish those words. In mere seconds, Perry was lunging, growling, out of control. And then, Trevor was on the hay-scattered floor, bleeding out, his throat slashed like it had been so many years ago. Except, this time, he wasn’t walking away alive.

Perry stood over his body, his chest heaving, growling like a wild animal. The paper he’d been holding had fluttered to the floor, and the breeze blew it into a corner to be forgotten.

Just like that, Trevor Tillerson was dead, and as the blinding red rage cleared from Perry’s vision, he realized what he’d done. He stood there, staring at the blood on his hands, and the blood on the floor, and he felt as if he was frozen in place, his feet fastened to the floor with concrete.

What should he do? He’d just killed a goddamn human. If news got out about this, it would be very, very bad, not just for the Abbott pack, but for the entire werewolf community. But Perry was very quickly beginning to panic, unsure of how to fix the egregious crime he had just committed.

So he did the only thing he knew how. He scrambled out of that barn, climbed onto the back of his horse, and set off at a gallop to his father’s house just down the way. It was nearly lunchtime, so he knew that Royal would likely be home, in the kitchen, waiting as Cecilia prepared his lunch for him.

The kitchen was quiet, save for the sound of Cecilia humming as she readied the food. Until, suddenly, Perry came bursting through the door like a bat out of hell. She dropped the knife she was holding. “Good Lord, Perry!” She exclaimed.

Royal looked up, brows raised. And that’s when he saw the blood. Cecilia also noticed, and she put a hand to her mouth. “What on earth happened?!”

Perry looked at Royal, entirely ignoring his mother. “Dad, I need help.”

Just by looking at his son, Royal seemed to know what ‘help’ entailed. He stood from his seat, already moving to grab his hat from the peg near the door.

“Royal, what-”

“I’ll be back soon, save me a plate,” he simply said as he followed his son out the door.

Cecilia fought the urge to chase after them. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what that blood meant. And she’d picked up on a specific scent when Perry came in. A scent she knew, but was too afraid to admit it. The less she knew, the better. But she had a feeling she was going to find out what had happened sooner than later.

Outside, Royal had a plan. “C’mere,” he said to his son, motioning him toward the garden hose. “First of all you need to wash this shit off so you don’t get it everywhere.”

Perry proceeded to scrub the blood from his hands, and then Royal led him to the truck. “You mind tellin’ me what the fuck happened?” He asked, voice low.

Perry sighed, lowering his head. “Trevor Tillerson came snoopin’ around.”

“Yeah, I know that, I can fuckin’ smell him on you. How did it end with you covered in his goddamn blood?!”

So, Perry recounted what had happened. Every last detail. And as he spoke, Royal paced back and forth, his boots kicking up gravel as he did so. Once his son finished, he stopped, turning to look at him. “Alright then. Let’s fix this. Before your brother gets back. The less people are involved in this, the better.”

“You…you ain’t callin’ the sheriff?” Perry asked in disbelief.

“I call the sheriff, not only do you go to jail, but it puts this whole fuckin’ pack in danger. I ain’t gonna let a group of humans run us outta our home. So we’re takin’ care of this ourselves.” He jabbed his thumb toward Perry’s horse. “Go take the tack off that horse and toss it in the back of the truck. You probably got blood all over it and that’s just gonna act as evidence if anyone comes snoopin’ around here.”

And so, the two Abbott men set about covering up the crime. They placed Trevor’s body in the back of the truck, they scrubbed the stables clean, and then, Royal instructed Perry to get into Trevor’s truck and follow after him. Royal drove his own truck and Perry followed him deep into the west pasture and as far up into the woods that the vehicles would allow them to. Then they carried Trevor the rest of the way until they came upon a good spot to bury him.

All of this took quite some time, and by the time the body was in the ground, Royal breathlessly turned to Perry. “Drive the truck up to Lover’s Lake and let it sink.”

And so, Perry did what he was told.

Just like that, the crime was covered up. Trevor Tillerson was six feet under, and the only two people in the world who knew about it were Royal and Perry. But it wouldn’t stay that way for long.

In the meantime, you and Rhett were just arriving home from your midwife appointment, blissfully unaware of what had just taken place. You were purely, incandescently happy. Doctor Tenpenny had given you a gleaming bill of health. The tiny babe within you was growing just as she should.

You were still quite early on, so you hadn’t begun to show yet. But that didn’t stop Rhett from resting his large hand against your belly from where he sat beside you in the rickety old GMC Sierra he drove. He was so very excited to be a father. The excitement sparkled in his eyes and you swore that blue had gotten impossibly brighter.

“I am so fuckin’ in love with you, little wolf,” he murmured once he’d thrown the truck into park. He leaned across the seat to kiss you sweetly.

You smiled against his mouth before you replied. “I’m so fuckin’ in love with you too.”

“M’ sweet wife.” His thumb ran circles over your abdomen. “Can’t wait to see you all round with my pup.”

You hummed, eyes fluttering shut as you relished in his warm touch. “Soon,” you assured him.

“I know. It’ll happen quicker than we can blink. Then we’ll be holdin’ our brand new baby girl.”

You kissed him again, unable to voice your feelings, because the words got caught in your throat. But that was okay, because no other words were needed.

Soon, Rhett slipped away and rounded the truck to open your door for you, which you gratefully accepted. “I was thinkin’,” he said, his arm slung around you as you walked up to the house. “Maybe I’d stop in town and grab us some lunch? I gotta bring the horses in from pasture first but after that I’ll get goin’.”

“Oh, would you?! I’ve been craving fries from Lucinda’s!” You exclaimed.

He smirked. “I know. As if you didn’t give me enough hints by sayin’ ‘I could really go for some fries!’ all mornin’,” he teased.

“Sorry, I’m just starving,” you said with a laugh.

“I’ll get ya your fries,” he assured you, “an’ a milkshake, too.”

Happily, you leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” he said right back with a knowing glint in his eyes.

You pushed at his chest as you shook your head at him. “Go tend to the horses, wolf boy.”

He stole another kiss from you, playfully swatting at your ass before he finally slipped away, allowing you to head back inside, your heart warm as you did so.

He headed over to the stables, and when the grazing horses saw him they immediately perked up. Particularly his mare, Esmeralda. She trotted up to the fence, letting out an excited whinny.

“Hey t’ you too, girl,” he said, reaching out to scratch her chin, her favorite place to receive pets. She eagerly searched his flannel pocket for treats, but came up with nothing. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Got tied up takin’ mama to the doc. I’ll bring ya somethin’ next time.” He kissed her muzzle, and then he pulled back to saunter over to the stable so he could pull the doors open.

On his way up the lane, he caught sight of Perry approaching on horseback. But he noticed something a little off. The horse wasn’t saddled, nor was he wearing a bridle.

“The fuck you ridin’ bareback for?” Rhett asked with a slight laugh, raising a brow at his brother as he got closer.

“Cause I felt like it,” Perry mumbled as he slowed the horse and finally slid to the ground, boots kicking up gravel.

“I’ve never seen you ride without a saddle in my life,” Rhett continued.

“There’s a first time for everythin’,” Perry dismissed.

Rhett eyed him. He seemed a little…off. Not like himself. “Per, you feelin’ alright?”

“‘m fine,” he snapped.

Rhett sighed, shaking his head at his brother’s antics. He wasn’t sure what had gotten up his craw, but he decided it best not to ask questions.

Until he stepped into the stable as Perry led his horse to his stall. A strange scent hit Rhett as soon as he crossed the threshold. Strong and chemical, like bleach. But there was something else, something underlying. He breathed in deep, his face comforting in confusion.

“You smell that?” He called to Perry.

His first clue as to something being wrong should’ve been that Perry froze. “I don’t smell anythin’,” he said as he opened the stall door.

“Bullshit, it’s strong as hell,” Rhett countered. He stepped further into the building and breathed in. “I smell blood.”

Perry didn’t say a word, but just from his posture, Rhett knew he was lying. He never was good at hiding his guilt. As soon as he pulled away from the stall and moved to leave the stable, Rhett stepped into his path, blocking him.

“Why the fuck does it smell like blood and bleach in my stable?” He demanded, voice low, gaze hard.

Perry’s wide, brown eyes flickered away, looking everywhere but his brother’s face. He didn’t say a word, and it sent a flash of sizzling anger through Rhett, like a bolt of lightning. “Perry!” He barked.

“Get outta my way, Rhett.”

“No! What did you do, huh?! Hurt one of my horses?!” Rhett wouldn’t stand for harm to come to any of his animals. He’d beat Perry to a pulp if he found out he’d hurt one.

“I didn’t touch y’re fuckin horses!” Perry snapped.

Rhett could hear how fast Perry’s heart was beating, pounding erratically against his rib cage. He was lying. “If it ain’t horse blood, then whose is it?”

A beat of hesitation. Then another. And soon, it became clear that Perry wasn’t going to say a word. Rhett growled angrily and finally stepped aside. “Get the fuck out.”

And he did. Perry hightailed it out of that stable, guilt weight at his shoulders. Rhett was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another. But for now, he had a group of restless horses to tend to.

With a deep sigh, he rolled his head to loosen the tension in his neck, and then proceeded to get the horses gathered and into the stable. Just to be safe, he checked each one over for any potential injuries. But they were all unharmed, as he’d expected.

Rhett wasn’t stupid. He knew that the scent he’d caught wasn’t horse. It was human. This was someone he knew, because he recognized the underlying scent. But he didn’t want to say it out loud, didn’t want to admit who it was because then that would mean… surely his brother hadn’t killed someone, right? Perry was volatile at times but he’d never killed anyone. However, Rhett knew perfectly well what the man was capable of.

He’d seen him lose his temper. He’d seen the way Perry couldn’t control his wolf. He was capable of killing. He was one step closer to going rogue and that thought made Rhett’s stomach turn.

He hoped it wouldn’t come to that point.

In the meantime, there were other things to tend to. Rhett decided he didn’t want to go snooping. He was afraid he would find something that he wished he never knew. So, he shook the thoughts out of his head and proceeded to get the horses situated.

A little while later, he was finally making his way back to the truck, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. A shower sounded appealing, but his first order of business was, of course, picking up lunch for you.

It was a thirty-minute drive into town, so by the time he returned, it had been over an hour that he’d been gone. In that time he’d tried to push the incident with Perry out of his mind. He knew that you would notice something was wrong, and he didn’t want to potentially drag you into whatever mess his brother had just made. You were meant to be enjoying this time as you prepared to welcome your little one, he didn’t want to put any undue stress on your shoulders.

So he put his best face forward and sauntered into the house with milkshakes and bags of French fries in hand. You’d heard him pull up, and you eagerly hopped up off the couch, where you’d been reading a book that your midwife had given you.

“I was about to start gnawing on the couch,” you remarked with a smile as you scurried up to kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for picking this up. You’re so good to me.”

“Anythin’ for you, little wolf,” he hummed. He never thought he’d turn into such a sap, but having a pregnant mate will do that to a guy. Not that he minded. You were worth getting sappy over.

“You still gonna call me little wolf once our little is born?” You asked him as you settled at the kitchen table, eager to tear open your bag of fries.

Rhett smiled as he sat across from you. “You’ll always be m’ little wolf. Even when we’ve got a little wolf of our own.”

His words warmed your chest. He made you feel so loved. You couldn’t wait to see that love translate into the way he handled your daughter. He was going to be a wonderful father, you just knew it.

Your meal progressed with comfortable conversation, the two of you discussing your plans for the rest of the day, and what the schedule looked like tomorrow. It was a sort of domesticity that you loved.

After lunch, it was back to business as usual. The day continued like any other, with nothing seemingly out of the ordinary. Rhett had even sort of forgotten about his encounter with Perry in the stable, and went about his work day like normal.

By the time evening rolled around, everything seemed perfectly fine. Rhett came inside to shower, and you got dinner on the table like you usually did, one of your favorite records playing on the antique record player you kept in the living room.

Rhett was still in the shower as you began setting the table, and you were interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up. Then there were hurried footsteps, and seconds later, the sound of pounding on your door.

Brow furrowed, you set the plate you’d been holding onto the table, tuning in to the agitated voices of two men on your porch. Something was wrong. Wiping your hands on your apron, you strolled over to the door, rolling your eyes when the pounding came again.

You pulled the door open to reveal Luke and Billy Tillerson. You stared at them in surprise. You’d heard of them plenty of times. You knew what the Tillerson name meant. But you’d never met them. Now here they were, standing right in front of you, and you could tell something was wrong.

“Can I help you?”

“Beggin’ your pardon, Mrs. Abbott. Is your man home?” Luke spoke. He offered a charming smile, as if it fixed everything.

“He’s busy. Why do you ask?”

The man shrugged. “Just need to ask him a couple questions, is all. We can wait right here for him.”

“We’re about to sit down to dinner. Can you come back tomorrow?” You offered. You got the sense that they suspected your husband of something. It made your heart quicken in your chest.

Luke narrowed his eyes, still fighting to be polite. “Now would be preferable. Really gotta talk to him.”

“Well, like I said, we’re about to—”

Suddenly, there was a strong hand on your shoulder, and Rhett was gently pulling you back, placing you safely behind him as he stepped into the doorway. “Hope you ain’t botherin’ my wife,” he said.

Luke raised a brow. “Botherin’ her? I was askin’ where you were. Mind steppin’ outside so we can talk?”

Rhett had a sneaking suspicion as to what this was about. So he turned to you. “Stay inside. I’ll be back in a minute.” He left no room for debate.

Quickly, he stepped outside, pulling the door shut. He motioned for both men to follow him off the porch, leading them a little ways away from the house, hoping your enhanced hearing wouldn’t pick up on the conversation.

“What do ya want?”

“Trevor came up here earlier today. He hasn’t been home since.”

Rhett remained neutral in expression, but the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. “Really? I didn’t see him. You sure he was here?”

“Yes, I’m sure! Came here himself to give you papers about the land you’re on.”

Rhett’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Papers? What papers?”

Behind his brother, Billy huffed. “Oh, come on. Don’t play dumb with us.”

“No, I’m bein’ serious! What papers?!”

Luke folded his arms over his chest, shifting his weight to one foot. “He came up here around 9 o’clock this mornin’ to give you papers tellin’ you that you have to move the property line back. The land you’re on right now isn’t yours.”

Rhett felt his chest tightening. “I don’t know anything about any fuckin’ papers. But I do know this land belongs to my pack and you ain’t takin’ it.”

“Look, I’m not the one who wanted to kick you off the land. If it was up to me I wouldn’t really give a shit, as long as you all keep to yourselves. But Trev cares. He talked to the lawyer. Got him to put some papers together tellin’ you to move. You’re really tellin’ the truth when you say you never got the papers?”

“I didn’t get the damn papers. I never saw Trev. I was gone this mornin’ with my wife. Didn’t come back ‘til around 10:45. Then I brought m’ horses in from pasture and went into town. I didn’t see hide nor hair of Trevor the whole time and that’s the God-honest truth.”

Luke sighed deeply, nodding his head. “Alright, alright. I believe ya. Thing is, we haven’t been able to get ahold of Trevor all day. Somethin’ happened.”

Rhett could take a pretty good guess as to what had really happened. He was putting the puzzle pieces together in his head, and his blood was beginning to boil with rage. He was tempted to tell them to go ask Perry, but he held his tongue. Part of him feared what might happen if he blew the whistle. What would it mean for the pack? Even so, he kept himself calm and steady and refused to give away

“Listen, if I hear or see anythin’, I’ll let you boys know. Until then, I’d like t’ have a nice dinner with my wife.”

It didn’t seem like Luke wanted to let it go, but he finally relented. “Fine. But this isn’t over.”

He nodded at Billy, and the two brothers turned and walked back toward their shiny new truck. Rhett remained fixed upon the driveway, his arms crossed over his chest, making sure that they actually left.

As soon as they were out of sight, he sighed deeply, bowing his head. He was torn. Should he confront Perry and try to get him to confess? Or should he just leave it? After all, the less he knew, the better.

Rhett thought of you, and the daughter you were expecting. He didn’t want anything to endanger your future. What would happen if it got out that a wolf had killed a human? All eyes in America would be on their community. Years of rights that had been fought for could be threatened.

Of course, that was the worst-case scenario. In reality, it could only end up being Perry who would pay for the crime. Maybe justice would be served fairly. But in his heart, Rhett knew that wasn’t the case. Trevor Tillerson had been looking for an excuse to run the wolves into the ground. Maybe he’d get his wish from beyond the grave.

“Rhett?” Your soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to find you standing in the doorway of your home, a look of concern on your face. “What’s going on?” You’d only caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Your heightened hearing was very useful, but you had to really focus to be able to utilize it. You had thought it best not to listen to what the men were saying, even if you were curious. If Rhett told you to stay inside, you knew he must have sensed some sort of danger.

He didn’t want to involve you in this any more than he had to. He worried that he might get pulled into it, and he didn’t want to take you down with him. He shook his head, letting out a sigh as he sauntered back to the porch. “Just…just don’t worry about it, alright? Let’s eat supper.”

“You’re not in trouble, are you?” You asked in fear. The prospect of hunters on your property made you uneasy.

“Nah, nothin’ like that. It’s better if we don’t talk about it for now. Let’s just eat supper.”

So you dropped it, even though you didn’t want to. The way his features had gone tense told you not to keep pushing. If he wanted you to know more, he would tell you.

Dinner continued as normal that night, but Rhett was quieter than he usually was, very clearly troubled by something.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” You reiterated as you stood at the sink washing dishes, with Rhett beside you drying them.

“Darlin’, I’m askin’ you right now not to bring it up. I…I don’t like keepin’ things from you but I’ve gotta think this one over before I say anythin’. Understand?”

You nodded, turning your body to face him. “Okay. You’re just worrying me, is all.”

Rhett sighed softly and tossed his dish towel aside before he reached out, large hands resting on your hips and pulling you close. “I’ve gotta do what I have to to protect you and our pup. And that’s what I’m doin’ right now. Protectin’ you. And askin’ you to trust me.”

You placed your hands on his chest, meeting his gaze. “I do trust you.”

That was all he needed to hear.

Over the next few days, he was still waging a war in his mind, trying to decide what to do. It was almost as if he was in denial. If he didn’t acknowledge Perry, if he didn’t confront him about the crime, it didn’t happen. Everything was fine.

But as he was cleaning out the stalls in the stable one morning while the horses were out to pasture, he came across something very incriminating. A crumpled piece of paper shoved away in a corner of a stall, forgotten.

Curious, Rhett bent to grab it, straightening up and letting his pitchfork rest against his side as he opened the paper. He scanned the words printed across the page, and his stomach dropped. So this was what Luke had been talking about.

Rhett stared at the paper, trembling in his grasp because his hand was beginning to shake from the anger bubbling up within him. This only confirmed what he suspected. But before he flew off the handle, he needed to get to the bottom of this. He needed to ask Perry what had really happened.

So Rhett tucked the paper in the pocket of his jeans, set his pitchfork aside, put his hat back on his head, and set off toward the Abbott house up the lane. He walked with purpose, his eyes set hard ahead of him.

He could see his brother and his father up ahead, both working on a repair in the corral fence that stood in front of the house. Royal was the first to catch sight of Rhett, and he nodded in silent greeting, curious as to why his son was in such a hurry.

“Rhett,” he called out to acknowledge the younger man’s presence.

But Rhett wasn’t there for Royal. “Can I borrow Perry for a sec?” He asked. His tone was urgent. He didn’t miss the way Perry went tense.

“Can it wait?” Royal asked. “Gotta get this fence done, we got a new horse comin’ in today and it needs to be ready.”

“It’ll only take a few minutes,” Rhett countered.

Perry sighed, but relented, setting down the crowbar in his hands before he turned and stepped out from under the fence. Rhett was already moving, encouraging his brother to follow him as he walked away from the corral.

When Rhett finally stopped, he pulled the piece of paper he’d found in the stable from his pocket. “Mind tellin’ me what this is?” He needed to hear it from his brother’s mouth.

Perry went still as a statue, his face pale. That reaction sent fire through Rhett, and his grip tightened on the paper, crumpling the end. “What the fuck did you do?” He hissed.

“N-nothin’!” Perry tried.

“Bullshit! I want you to say it! What happened in my stable, huh?! The blood I smelled? Now this paper? I know Trevor Tillerson was up here the other day. Luke came lookin’ for him that same night. I didn’t wanna believe that you were capable of somethin’ like this, but maybe you are.”

Perry was hesitating. He’d gone dead silent, as if he was frozen in place. He didn’t know what to say. And that only served to piss Rhett off.

“Talk to me, goddammit!”

“He wouldn’t shut up,” Perry finally relented. “Kept runnin’ his mouth off and I just…I snapped.”

Rhett stared at him. Eyes wide. Chest heaving. He let those words wash over him, and they felt like searing acid on his skin. “You…snapped?”

“He said somethin’ about Rebecca and I just saw red! Next thing I knew he was on the ground covered in blood!” Perry was trembling. Tears were shining in his eyes.

Rhett was vibrating. “You fucking killed him. In my stable.”

“Like I said, I just snapped!”

The younger Abbott could hardly bear to look at his brother. His head was spinning. Deep down he’d known Perry was guilty. That he’d killed Trevor. But now that he’d actually admitted it? It felt like a gut punch.

“I can’t believe you…” Rhett trailed off, hands clenching at his sides. “No, I can believe it. You’re out of fuckin’ control, Per. This is serious, you hear me? You just put the whole pack in danger!”

“I–” Perry started, but Rhett held up his hand.

“No, y’know what? You’re gon’ make this right. You’ve got two days to clean up the mess you made. Either you go to the sheriff, or I will. And if I have to do it, it ain’t gon’ be pretty.”

He shoved the paper into Perry’s hands. Then he got in his face, chest to chest. “If they start goin’ after this pack, there ain’t gonna be a place safe in heaven and earth for you. And if you think I’ll protect you when they do, you’ve got another thing comin’.”

Then, Rhett turned on his heel and stormed off, leaving Perry standing there in the driveway, staring down at the paper that had started it all. For the first time since he’d killed Trevor, the severity of the situation seemed to set in. He thought of Amy, his young daughter, and how this would affect her. If he lost her, he had nothing left. Could he really go through with confessing to this crime? Even if it meant losing what was left of his family?

Rhett was a man of his word. If Perry didn’t confess, he would do it for him, just as he said he would. But Perry felt lost. Uncertain. His judgment was clouded by his own guilt. So he turned to his father again, asking for help, because he didn’t know what to do. Royal would have an answer. Surely he would.

“I’ll talk to Rhett,” the Abbott patriarch assured his eldest son. “See if I can talk him off the ledge. I ain’t gonna let Amy lose you like she lost her ma, alright? She needs her daddy now more ‘an ever. I’ll fix this, son.”

But this was not something that could easily be fixed like a downed corral fence. It was a sinking ship with a cracked hull that no amount of sealant could repair. And whoever remained left on board would surely drown in the depths of the ocean.

In the meantime, Rhett was reeling. Now that he knew the truth, he worried that the Tillersons might show up on his doorstep again. And this time, he wasn't sure if he could lie. He was worried that they had begun to suspect him of having something to do with Trevor’s disappearance. He might soon be faced with the choice of staying quiet, or exposing his brother's nefarious deed just to save himself from being accused of it. He would not go to jail for something he didn’t do. He had a wife and a child to think about.

And when faced with a choice between his mate and his brother, Rhett would always choose you.

He hoped that Perry would do the right thing and confess to his wrongdoing. But if he made no move to fix the mess he made in two days’ time, Rhett would have no choice but to intervene. It was necessary for the good of the pack.

However, things were already spiraling out of control quicker than he even realized.

Just across town, on the Tillerson ranch, a sleek, black limousine was just pulling into the expansive driveway. Luke and Billy stood outside the house, waiting for the lone passenger to step out of the car.

The driver came around and opened the door, and moments later, Patricia Tillerson gracefully emerged from the back of the limousine, her heeled boots kicking up dust as she did so.

She stood there for a moment, reaching up to remove her sunglasses as she eyed her sons. “First your father. Now this?” She finally spoke. She had been in town a few short months ago for Wayne’s funeral. Now, here she was again, under an entirely different circumstance. “Have you made any headway into finding your brother?”

Luke shook his head. “We were waitin’ for you before we did anything else.”

Patricia sighed. “This whole time you could’ve been– you know what? Nevermind. Let’s talk inside.” She stepped past the two boys and made her way up to the large house, walking with purpose as she did so.

Luke and Billy dutifully followed her.

Patricia’s first stop was the liquor cabinet, where she poured herself a glass of brandy. Then she turned to her sons. “Tell me again what you’ve been doing to find Trevor?” Her gaze was hard. She didn’t think they’d been doing enough.

“We…we went to the reservation the other day to ask around about him. Rhett Abbott claims he never saw him. I believe him, he’s an honest man, and–”

His mother scoffed. “Man? Luke, honey, he’s an animal. A savage beast, if you will. There’s no telling the lengths he’d go to throw you off his trail.”

“But Ma, I don’t think he was trying to throw us off,” Billy echoed, shaking his head.

“Shows what you boys know about wolves. They’ll say anything to get off the hook. That fuckin’ pack had something to do with Trevor disappearing. And I pray to God it’s not the case, but they’ve more than likely killed him. Or worse, turned him into one of them. Either way, he’s dead. No son of mine will succumb to the werewolf curse. I’d sooner kill him than let him be turned.”

“So what do you want to do, then? You told me not to call the sheriff, so I didn’t. I’ve stayed silent about this, waiting for you to get here. The more time we waste, the less chance of finding him alive,” Luke pressed, motioning his arms impatiently.

Patricia downed her brandy in one go. “If they have Trevor, they aren’t going to give him up easily. So we give them a little…incentive.”

Billy and Luke shared a look. “What kind of incentive?” Asked Billy.

Their mother folded her arms over her chest, squaring her shoulders. “They took one of ours? We’re going to take one of theirs. We’ll interrogate ‘em while we’re at it, try to get some answers as to what really happened to Trevor.”

They were hunters. And Patricia the best of the best. It would be easy to get back at the Abbott pack. They just had to find the most vulnerable member.

There were plenty to choose from. Between the little ones in your own family, and Amy on Rhett’s side, any number of those pups would be a good target. But Patricia Tillerson had done her research.

It was Rhett’s portion of land they were after. And Rhett just so happened to have a mate. What better way to find his ultimate weakness than to steal the one he loved above all others?

So, she instructed her boys to stake out the property. To track yours and Rhett’s whereabouts so they could discreetly step in and carry out their intended mission without him intervening. Because they knew, if he caught them, he would not let them go without a fight. And it was very likely that they would have to put him down if he came at them.

How fortuitous it was that the very next day after they began their stakeout, you left the property to head into town, without Rhett. The only other person you had in tow was Amy, and she wasn’t a threat whatsoever.

Luke shared a look with Billy. “Guess that’s our chance,” he remarked, and his younger brother nodded in agreement.

So they followed you into town, sure to stay a good distance back so you didn’t suspect anything right off the bat.

In the cab of Rhett’s truck, you and Amy were entirely unaware of the impending danger. You had a few errands to run in town, and Amy was always up for going on excursions with you. Although she had packmates her own age now, she had spent her whole life surrounded by adults, and had essentially been raised by her grandparents and Uncle Rhett, so it was a little difficult for her to integrate herself in with kids her own age. Even if those kids were also wolves like her.

Besides, she’d had to grow up fast because of what had happened with losing her mother. Your heart ached for the part of her childhood that she’d lost, but she seemed to have adapted okay. Even so, you always made sure to include her whenever you had plans by yourself. She was always eager to spend time with you because she loved you for the way you loved her Uncle Rhett.

“I’ve never seen him smile so much,” she’d told you, early on in your relationship with Rhett. “You make him so happy. I’m glad he found you.”

And from then on, a bond was formed between you and the little blonde girl. She didn’t have a mother, and it made your heart ache. So, in a way, you took on that role. You couldn’t fully raise her in the way her mother would, but you reached out to her and spent time with her as much as possible, in hopes of providing some sort of nurturing.

And now there was a new baby on the way, and Amy was teeming with excitement at the prospect of welcoming a little cousin. You could tell she was going to be a big help to you once the baby finally came. She was already asking to babysit, when she got a little older, of course.

Today, you were doing a little shopping to pick up some groceries for Cecilia for the family dinner that you were all having that night, and to buy odds and ends for the baby’s nursery. Amy was just bouncing with eagerness to help you pick things out. You also planned to take her out to lunch at the little diner in town, and you were going to try out the brand new cafe that had just opened. Wabang had little to no coffee shops at all, so a new one was the talk of the town.

Amy didn’t drink coffee yet, even though Uncle Rhett once let her try some of the black coffee he always drank. She said it tasted like dirt water, and it turned her against coffee altogether. Instead, she was looking forward to having a strawberry banana smoothie as a treat to drink on the way home.

Little did you know that you’d never make it home that day.

You set about your errands without a care in the world, listening to Amy rattle off facts and highlights about the book she’d been reading lately. She talked your ear off, but you were perfectly happy to listen.

You were unaware of the eyes watching you as you eventually crossed the street to stop at the butcher’s shop. Or when you finally ended the day by stopping at Half Moon Coffee.

You didn’t notice anything until you were finally back on the road, headed for home. And this time, Luke didn’t bother trying to be inconspicuous. He followed you closely, and when you glanced in your rearview, you realized who was in that shiny new F150.

Your stomach dropped, and you let your eyes flicker back to the road. Without saying a word to alarm Amy, you pressed the gas down, speeding up. Luke sped up as well. Your heart quickened in your chest. A feeling of ice cold dread settled in your gut, spreading throughout your extremities.

“What’s wrong?” Amy asked beside you. She could sense your discomfort and hear your pounding heart. Although she had not yet developed the ability to shift into her wolf, her heightened senses had begun coming in clear and sharp. She picked up on things a lot quicker than she used to.

“Nothing,” you lied.

“Are you sure? You’re scared.”

You knew you couldn’t lie to her. You glanced at her from the corner of your eye. “We’re being followed. I want you to grab my phone and call Uncle Rhett, okay?”

You knew Rhett would be able to sense that you were in danger. That was how it worked with mates. But you wanted Amy to call him so he was immediately aware of the situation and knew exactly where to find you. However, she never got the chance to call him, because in a split second, your assailant sped up, shot around you, and then, several feet ahead of you, slammed on his brakes.

You shrieked in surprise, jamming your foot down onto your own brake. Amy let out a yelp, and your phone flew out of her hands and onto the floorboards. Instinctively, your arm shot out in front of her, protecting her from going forward.

As you skidded to a stop, narrowly avoiding colliding with the other truck, your first thought was to back up and go the way you’d come. If you got close enough to town you might be able to ask for help. But something told you that it wasn’t going to be that easy. Even so, you tried it anyway, throwing the truck in reverse and frantically turning the wheel. You almost had it, too. If it wasn’t for Billy jumping out of the Ford and easily firing two arrows from a crossbow into the tires.

You heard the hissing before you realized what it was. Then the truck shuddered, and you realized the tires were going flat. “No!” You cried. You hit the brakes again, and soon, the truck slid to a rough, jarring halt. You could see the brothers quickly approaching through your side view mirror.

“What do they want?!” Amy cried, trembling with fear beside you.

You knew you had to protect her. So you turned to her, eyes locked into hers. “Get down on the floor. Stay in this truck and do not get out. See if you can call Uncle Rhett. I-I’ll get out and talk to them.”

But you never got the chance. Suddenly, your door was yanked open, and you gasped in surprise, coming face to face with Luke.

“Get out of the truck,” he said.

“Please, this isn’t–”

Billy lifted the crossbow, pointing it right at you. “Get out!”

With trembling hands, you fumbled to unbuckle your seatbelt, chest tight with fear as you scrambled out of the truck. Behind you, you could hear Amy crying, scared out of her mind.

“No!” She wailed, grabbing onto your arm in a futile attempt to keep you from going with them.

“Amy, baby, let go of me!” You exclaimed, afraid they’d hurt her if she didn’t settle. But when you glanced back at her, you saw a wildness in her eyes. She’d already lost her mother, she was terrified of losing you, too.

But in the blink of an eye, you were hauled out of the truck, kicking and screaming. Luke was strong, but you were a wolf, and you were stronger than him. It wasn’t that difficult to pull yourself out of his grasp, and you growled threateningly, whirling around to face both men, daring them to come closer.

But one had a crossbow fitted with silver arrows. You could tell by the way they glinted in the sun. If Billy shot you with one of them, it would not end well. Silver was was like poison for werewolves. And you thought of the babe inside you, and how it might harm her. You didn’t want to risk getting shot.

But it was still your instinct to fight. “What do you want with me?!” You cried, baring your fangs, your eyes flashing gold.

But both of them grabbed you at once, wrestling you against the side of the truck, even as you snarled and snapped and struggled. You managed to catch Luke by the face with your claws and leave a considerable slash in his cheek, at which he growled in pain. But it only angered him and his adrenaline made him even stronger.

Amidst the scuffle, you felt something sharp against the side of your neck, like a pinprick, and then, a thick, metallic collar was fastened crudely around your throat just as your body began to betray you.

You gasped, and suddenly, you had no control of your limbs. Your brain screamed at you to fight, to flee, to preserve yourself. But you couldn’t move. Before you even realized, you were plummeting toward the ground, and your vision swam with black spots until, finally, you succumbed to unconsciousness entirely.

Billy looked at Luke as they stood over your crumpled form. “What should we do about the kid? Wanna take her with us too?” Billy asked.

Luke sighed, reaching into his back pocket to grab a handkerchief to dab at the wound on his cheek. “Ma wouldn’t want us just to leave her. I’ll grab her, she could be useful. You get this one into the truck,” he motioned toward you before he sauntered around to the passenger side of your GMC.

However, when he opened the door, expecting to find a distraught Amy, he came up with nothing. The cab was empty, and Amy was nowhere to be found.

“What the fuck?” Luke whispered to himself. “Goddammit!”

Where on earth could she have gone? All that surrounded the was open plains. In the amount of time it took to get you down, there was no way she could’ve found a hiding place that quickly.

Hurriedly, Luke ducked to check beneath the truck, and the truck bed, only to come up empty-handed. He cursed again, kicking at one of the slashed tires.

“She’s gone!” He exclaimed to his brother.

Billy’s eyes went wide. “How?!” He asked as he shoved the bed cover closed on the F150, effectively covering up the fact that you were currently laying inside it.

“I don’t know! I thought they couldn’t shift that young but maybe she did and that’s how she got the slip. I guess it’s not that big of a deal, but Ma will still be pissed we let her get away.”

Billy shrugged it off. “Whatever. We don’t even have to tell her the kid got away since she doesn’t know she was here to begin with. ‘sides, Rhett’s mate was who we were after anyway. We got what we came for. Let’s go.”

And so, the Tillerson boys climbed back into their truck and headed off toward their ranch, your unconscious body hidden in the back.

Meanwhile, in that old, rickety GMC, a furry little wolf pup was just squeezing out from under the front seat, where she’d hidden herself from the view of the hunters. She crept toward the door, where she stuck her head out and sniffed at the air. She smelled the remnants of gasoline and exhaust, and she whimpered.

Amy wasn’t sure how she’d ended up in this predicament. One moment, she was watching in terror as you were ripped away from her, and the next, she was shrinking, and when she looked down, her hands were little black paws.

Driven by her fear, she managed to wedge herself beneath the bench and hide there until the Tillersons left. Now, she had no idea how to shift back to human, but she knew she had to get help. So she launched herself onto the dusty ground, and took off in the direction of home.

Meanwhile, at the Abbott ranch, things were in upheaval.

Rhett had been out with his father and brother, searching for a lost steer that had somehow gotten away from the herd. Rhett claimed a coyote probably got to it. Royal insisted the animal was simply lost.

Halfway out into the south pasture, Rhett was hit with a sudden shock of anxiety, as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water on him.

“Whoa,” he gently spoke to his mare Esmeralda, tugging on her reins to bring her to a stop. He gasped sharply as, all at once, this horrible, consuming wave of dread began spreading within his chest.

“No,” he croaked, and just like that, his entire world began to spin off its axis. He clutched at his chest as his heart began to pound. It felt almost like a heart attack, except he knew it was nothing of the sort.

You were in danger.

“Somethin’s wrong!” He desperately shouted ahead to Royal and Perry. He hardly recognized his own voice. It was a guttural, anguished cry.

He urged Esmeralda into a gallop, hurtling toward the other two men. “Gotta go back!” Rhett cried. He spoke your and Amy’s names, and that immediately got their attention. Together, the three of them set off for the house, with Rhett urging Esmeralda as fast as she could go.

As soon as he made it to the house, he eased the horse to a stop and, quick as lightning, jumped to the ground. Although he had the ability to sense when you were in danger, that ability did not allow him to pinpoint your exact location. He had to follow you by sense alone, and the closer he got to you, the stronger that terrible ache in his chest would get, letting him know he was on the right track to find you.

He’d never felt this before. Not to this magnitude. He had always been told that it was an intense feeling, indescribable in every sense. And it was. It was the strongest sensation he’d ever felt. Like his heart was outside of his body, pulling him toward you.

The second his feet hit the ground, he was running, sprinting into the house in search of Royal’s truck keys. He startled his mother, who was in the kitchen making preparations for the dinner that night.

“Goodness gracious, what’s happened?!” She asked her son. He shouted over his shoulder that you and Amy were in danger, and Cecilia gasped, her heart dropping at the thought of her granddaughter and daughter-in-law being harmed.

Keys in hand, Rhett threw himself toward the old Ford Ranger, flinging open the door, ignoring the voices of his family members shouting after him. His vision was tunneled. The only thing that mattered was getting to you. He was just about to turn and tell Cecilia to inform your parents of what was happening, but then, altogether, he froze.

A chill ran down his spine, and he sucked in a ragged breath. “No,” he wheezed. “No, no, no.”

“I-I can’t feel her,” he whispered. He wrenched the truck door back open, and he locked eyes with his mother, who was waiting concernedly nearby. His knees nearly buckled as his feet hit the ground. He stumbled forward, and Cecilia caught him. “Mama, I can’t…I can’t feel her!”

“What do you mean you can’t feel her?” She asked her son. But she knew.

“She’s…she’s just gone! I can’t…I don’t…” Rhett could hardly speak. His throat felt like it was constricting, cutting off his airflow. A harrowing sense of dread washed over him. He knew what this meant. All of them did. If a werewolf could no longer feel its mate’s presence, it could only mean one thing.

That mate was dead.

And that realization drove Rhett to his knees. Cecilia caught him so he wouldn’t hit the ground hard. He clutched at his mother’s shirt, his face buried against her abdomen, and he wailed out his pain, the agony of which was too great for him to bear.

Perry was demanding something above him. Shouting about finding Amy. But Rhett couldn’t hear him. He was deafened by the rush of blood in his ears. Deafened by the ringing sound. He thought of you, and the baby you carried, and he wept.

Just like that, in the blink of an eye, he’d lost everything.

To be continued…

tagging: (a mix of those already on my taglist/those who were tagged in the first part)

@cdauni @gothamrots @happyrebelruins @bobfloydsbabe @myfandomchangesalot @mikpieboo @petersunderoos96 @eighthwvnder @yanna-banana @bradshawsbaby @bradshawsbitch @sebsxphia @rhettabbotts @milesmillergf @briseisgone @laluneveillesureux @gohnspants @hangmanapologist @wkndwlff @damrlova @withahappyrefrain @michaego @whisperofsong @kmc1989

taglist form

#rhett abbot x reader #rhett abbott fanfiction #rhett abbott imagine #rhett abbott x you #rhett abbott fic #werewolf rhett #the wolf series

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smytherines · 2 months

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I often wonder if I would feel differently about The Staircase Scene if I had seen SAF when it first came out in 2016. The first time I saw it was probably around October or November of 2023, and like... the context is different now.

Whatever we want to say about the personal story arcs of these characters (and I know I'm in a tiny minority because, for me, killing Owen does not constitute a satisfying close to Curt's arc, that's totally fine), there is the very real issue of the sociopolitical context that this scene takes place within- both in their time (1961) and in ours.

One very cool thing about SAF is that, in order to understand these characters better, a lot of younger queer folks end up learning about the Lavender Scare, about Executive Order 10450- which officially prohibited gay people from working for the US government- for the first time. That's an incredible, precious thing to me. Yay queer history! It's important!

The show itself never addresses the fact that both the US and UK governments had very public, very brutal campaigns equating homosexuality with communism with being a traitor to your country. But if you want to understand these characters, and especially write fanfiction, you're really incentivized to teach yourself some fundamentally important aspects of queer history.

In the 54 Below concert, before singing Not So Bad, Brian Rosenthal talks about how when they were developing the show they thought N@zis were more or less a thing of the past, that they're fully aware of how differently that song might be taken now after an escalation into a more open embrace of fascism in the US. And they're absolutely right about that.

But I think that's also perhaps an issue with the staircase scene, or at least it is for me. Obviously homophobia and transphobia were not "fixed" in 2016, they were still massive problems resulting in violence and discrimination and brutality. But institutionally, at least, you could look at the situation and point to some things that were gradually getting better.

In 2016 trans youth in my state were legally allowed to receive gender affirming care. In 2024, they are not. It's not that homophobia and transphobia went away and then came back, but there was a very real resurgence of the use of the media and of governmental power to inflict pain on queer & trans people and chase them out of public life- bathroom bans, gender affirming care bans, Don't Say Gay laws, trying to make drag illegal, equating queer and trans people with pedophilia. There has been a big cultural shift back towards the same kind of violent governmental moral panic that our beloved Curt & Owen would have lived under.

Whatever we want to say about these characters and this story (and there's tons of fascinating debate there), there is still the base of a gay man killing his ex-lover ostensibly to protect US foreign policy objectives. Killing the man he loves- or loved, at least- to protect the secret that he is gay. And that hits different for me now.

I watch that scene and it is heartbreaking on a personal level, but its also heartbreaking as a queer person who just wants to scream "your government will destroy you for being gay, you don't owe them shit!"

Owen tries to explain that the surveillance network is happening, that the future won't wait for Curt to catch up. Barb has been saying she's working on the same thing for the US government the entire show, but Curt just kept ignoring her. And I just want to say "Curt, honey, what do you think your government is going to do to you with that surveillance system? Do you think you're useful enough to keep around even though you have sex with men? Because I promise you they will not care."

It feels tragic to me because on some level it seems like Curt would actually be safer with another gay man having control of all the world's secrets than he will be if the government he has dedicated his life to gets their hands on that same technology.

And the thing is, having a tragic ending doesn't make the show bad. This show is great. This scene is spectacular. It makes you think, it makes you feel things, it does all the stuff that great art is supposed to do. Absolutely none of what I'm saying here is meant to denigrate the show as a musical or a story or even a queer story. I hope it doesn't come off as me saying "actually this show is bad," because I don't feel that way at all.

Clearly I live and breathe this show. That's why I spend all my time on here analyzing every scene, every frame, every facial expression. I love this show so much that I can't help but deconstruct it and look at all its component parts- including the sociopolitical context both now and in 1961. Because that context, despite never being explicitly mentioned, is important to our understanding of these characters.

I love these characters so much that it's actually pretty difficult for me to watch A2P7 anymore, because the staircase scene is so emotionally devastating to me that it's hard to try to swing back into that more comedic tone (even though Spy Dance is a certified bop).

I'm not even sure what my point is with all of this, other than to say that Spies Are Forever is a show that is great and fun and funny as written/performed, and becomes gradually more emotionally devastating when you rewatch it or when you understand the subtext of it. When you can engage with the themes of gender and sexuality, surveillance and technology, trauma and trust, and tease out even more satisfying theories around this show.

So yeah. It's a musical. It's about spies.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #curtwen #agent curt mega #owen carvour #saf #tcb #its about spies

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drdemonprince · 2 months

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ive seen you talk about FIRE/mr money moustache and i am interested in how you balance that with your politics. i ask because i am also interested in FIRE but struggle with the idea of saving 2mil+ to retire early when people need money NOW to survive. not just broadly but even loved ones and community members in my immediate vicinity. i dont mean this in an EXPLAIN YOURSELF sort of way, just so many of the FIRE etc people i find writing about it dont really address this aspect and its something i struggle with internally myself.

Sure, I don't mind speaking about this at all. I wish I more frequently had the occasion to because it's a major special interest of mine.

First, I'm not interested in the saving 2 million dollars (if that were even feasible) school of financial independence/ retire early. I'm more of an adherent to the r/LeanFire, r/BaristaFire type approach of maintaining a consistently very frugal standard of living that is sustainable for me, on a relatively smaller savings, and pursuing a life of relatively little consumption.

I also think that MMM, despite his many flaws, is broadly accurate in stating that when people continuing working all their lives, they also create more ecological devastation by consuming a whole of a hell lot more resources on convenience and burning more fuel, while chasing after a steadily rising living standard set by the norms of their profession. By taking myself out of the workforce sooner rather than later, I will be contributing less to climate change and waste because I'll need fewer convenience meals, fewer car rides, fewer flights, fewer hotel rooms, fewer fancy professional clothes, and so on and so on.

I also spend a lot of time on the Socially Conscious Mustachians group on Facebook, which focuses on investing one's savings in ways that are less ethically problematic. The easy mode version of this is simply putting one's money into index funds that exclude oil companies, gun manufacturers, etc. But honestly, today, with interest rates being as high as they are? It's pretty easy to just sock one's money into a CD or a bond, collect the cool 5.4% interest, and avoid having to contribute to the stock market directly at all. There are even high-yield savings accounts at credit unions that pay out about that much interest these days, and those entities typically do not invest in oil pipelines, BDS targets, or anything all that objectionable.

As for the hoading money while others are in need piece: Well. yeah. that's a difficult ethical challenge that we all must consider. how much can i hold onto for my own wellbeing in the spirit of "putting on one's oxygen mask first" without it being wealth hoarding? how much should i give to other people when i see that they are in need --someone could easily make the case that I have the moral obligation to give away what i have to my very last cent, and I couldn't really argue with them on that. maybe a person should do that. but i'm not going to do it. and of course the effective altruism freakos would counter that if i invest my money and grow it now, i will have more to give to others in the long run than if i cash out now.

realistically, i won't be able to continue working for much longer without having another health episode or worse. i will not qualify for disability benefits because high maskers who have had careers usually do not. and social security's coffers will be entirely drained long before i reach the age to qualify for it. if i enter my non-working years without any resources, someone else will have to worry about me staying housed and medicated and fed.

i tend to think of my retire early stash as my own little private disability benefits fund that will allow me to live safely and will hopefully allow me to take care of other people that i love as we age, and that will give me the freedom from having to do any morally compromising capitalist labor ever again, and only put my energies towards causes that either fulfill me or benefit others.

but it's still rooted in a highly individualistic capitalist system, this holding onto money under my own name and investing it thing. im sure a lot of people would choose instead to sock all of their money into some kind of cooperatively owned communist farm or something, and you know, some day down the line i would love to put money toward a big multi unit building that lots of people i am in community with could live in, with no financial obligations for them. but i dont have anywhere near that kind of scratch. as hannibal buress (that landlord piece of shit) said, "i don't have fuck you money, i have strongly worded email money." and you know, being able to write a strongly worded email to people who would otherwise be exploiting me into another huge burnout does feel good.

thinking that one day i might not work anymore is one of the only things that keeps me going. i am always on the razor's edge of not functioning, i dont think people really realize that, how could they, the mask is there to prevent them seeing it. im beyond privileged to even get to CONSIDER the dream of getting by on my savings for however long human society continues to exist. and it sure would be better if i could extend that kind of freedom and peace of mind to others. my life still feels very precarious and it always has and ive had to be stable for the sake of others for a long time, ive had to be financially responsible for others for a long time. i cling to the idea of FI/RE because it offers me a way to finally break down and be weak. but something more community oriented and interdependent would sure as fuck be better. in the meantime i guess im saving for something like that i could trust enough to give myself over to.

i also have a really strong fetishistic desire to be someone's completely brainwashed sex pet for the entire rest of my life, and having an early retirement account would really help me facilitate that

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troius · 3 months

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I just want to say a few things before you get to the end. First up, it's been a pleasure to read your thoughts on the series; like any fan, you have your own unique interpretations and it's always good to read how fans see certain scenes. It's also been fantastic to see fellow fans respond to your posts adding on to what you've written, again bringing your thoughts out more and generating discussion.

Also, seeing your thoughts has made me appreciate scenes and characters I never thought I would -- Yamamoto for instance, who would've thought?! They've also reminded me of why I fell in love with the series as much as I did, from the artwork to the themes to the incredible bonds between the characters. You've reminded me that BLEACH has it's flaws that can sometimes take you out of the story, but when it hits, it 100% HITS! It's a manga that's about the bonds we form, how they can help us overcome challenges and be a source of light in our lives. It's about the ways we overcome grief and the fear of death, whether it's literally fighting your way through it or slowly coming to a state of acceptance as time goes on. It's about the 'hearts' of people, about what they look like and how they're shared between those you choose. I could go on and on, but then this would become an essay and we'd be here all day.

All of this is to say, thank you for choosing to create a Tumblr account and deciding to read the series and give your thoughts along the way. I can't believe you've finally reached the end, it almost feels like I'm saying goodbye to the manga again!! I don't think I'm the only one here who sees you as a big and valued part of the community on here, so I hope you'll be sticking around! :)

Thank you so much Rays! Response under the cut because it went long.

This won't surprise you, but I too have grown in my appreciation for the series over the course of the uh three years that I've run this blog. Bleach has character concepts I've never seen elsewhere. It has moments of storytelling brilliance. It has truly, phenomenally astonishing art.

But more than anything else, I, like you, am impressed by the heart. For a story that's largely about the afterlife, Bleach is shockingly humanistic, locating virtue not in any system of belief, in any group or faction in the various conflicts that provide the setting for the manga, but in people. All people, whether they're our extremely relatable teenage protagonist and his friends, the occasionally sketchy adults in his life, or the various adversaries ranging from evil monsters to supernatural samurai to a regular-ass gang to a foreign apocalypse cult. Bleach never, not once, lets the viewer fall into the comfortable childish space of believing that there's good people and bad people in the world.

There's just people. Sometimes these people want to do bad things, like execute their sisters, or kidnap your girlfriend, or isolate you from your family, or destroy the entire world. Bleach doesn't flinch away from that either. But it (again, very humanistically) locates those bad actions not in the individual human beings, but in our relationships with one another through the systems and structures we've created to organize ourselves.

And yet in the face of the idea that humans do their worst work through other people, that's also where Bleach locates its greatest virtue. Alone, we're nothing. It's the bonds that we have with others that are what make life worth living, that are the source of everything good in this world. And navigating that dynamic, between spiritual bonds and structural shackles...that's really what adult life is all about, isn't it?

Anyhow, my adult life has been greatly enriched by all of you on here. But I'll take the chance to thank you specifically Rays, for being such a source of joy. Your positivity and passion are the sort of thing that makes a humble blogger want to come back for more, and I've deeply enjoyed hearing all of your thoughts, not just on my liveblog, but through your own posts and writing. I'll be sticking around for sure.

#bleach #ask Troius

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

Note

What if sherriff reader saved one of the bandits…? maybe carried them bridal style… 😳

Fuck- their lungs were on fire; a flame that disbursed through their entire body. The lone band coughs and wheezes; their meak attempts at freeing themselves proven pointless as rotting wood press down on their chest. The face of the person they tried to dethrone mocks them with a permanent grin. The bandit spits at the poster followed by a groan of pain.

It was both a harmless, and ingenious idea in their mind. Due to the sudden tragic passing of the last head, your town was in need of a mayor. There were just two proper candidates and only one who ran for office, the loved and respected sheriff, and some rich bastard who's been trying to get their hands on the town for yours. The voters choice would have to obvious if both parties were to play, but alas the one who had the people's favor and sense to run this place wanted no part in that job.

Some were understanding, while others rioted in secret. They despised the idea of anyone in office but you. You may reject it at face value, but you're the backbone of this community and the hesrt of many. This group was made up of none other than the band of pests that caused most of the issuses you had to deal with. You know better than everyone it's the only life they've ever known, but it's also the crutch they use to get closer to the greatest treasure of all. You.

Unlike previous casualties, the soon to be mayor was a hard cookie to reach. Surrounded by guards at every hour, and hauled up in the self built mansion in the center of nowhere. While the others planned to get to them, a few bandits stranded from the group to carry out ideas of their own. Vandalism, lies, threats, destruction of property. This attacks were taken in hope it'd prevent them from ever stepping back into town, but now it seemed like it would stop one of them from ever getting home.

"What do we have here? An idiot lost from its flock of bigger idiots?"

The bandit struggles to look up at the person, shadow blocked by the beady sun. Despite the condescending tone, it was the hum of an angel. They roll up their sleeves with a heavy sigh.

"Sher...."

"Alright, let's get you out of here and to the hospital. Don't have to tear you a new one because you've done that already."

Without another peep from their savior's beside the occasional grunt, the weight of the billboard is left off the bandit. They gasp for the air rapidly filling their lungs, turning over to the side. They've unknowingly made things for themselves, as two arms cushion their back when they roll back. Lifted up, that obnoxious sun circles their saviour's head like an angel; their head rested on the deity's toned bicep. Their face glows almost as warm as it as their eyes adjust to the light. Was this heaven?

"Sheriff!"

The bandit gleefully throws their good arm around your neck, squishing their face against the exposed skin. This was a page torn straight from their fantasies. They wanted to kiss you. The wanted to kiss you, and love you, and ride off into the sunset in your arms; but you'd probably drop them like a hot coal if they tried any of that. Their head was spinning, but it wasn't from any pain.

"I knew you'd come for me."

"I got a call about some moron chopping down a posterboard."

"Sticks and stone, sheriff."

You raise an eyebrow. "You seem to be pretty lively for someone who got crushed. Maybe I should put you down."

Truth be told, the bandit was feeling better already. Their ribs were probably bruised and their arm was definitely broken, but they've been through worse. They've ran like a gazelle with a twisted ankle in the past so this was nothing.. a little acting couldn't fix.

They go limp against your chest, trying not to faint from the strum of your heart. "Actually... I'm banged up real bad, sherif. I think you'll need to carry me to a doctor long as they can reach us in your house."

#Yandere bandit #yandere oc #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere blurb #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #yandere drabble #yandere oneshot #Yandere bandits

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ecoamerica · 2 months

Text

youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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moonshynecybin · 3 months

Note

it’s probably been said already but rosquez howl’s moving castle

INSANE!!!!!!! vale's tiny earring vaguely androgynous wizard swag... old man marc... this got long?? under the cut

and see the thing is. i think this is a unique kind of torture for someone like marc. truly. like marc knows he's hot. marc enjoys people thinking he's hot. even in this universe, where he's sadly running the family shop so alex doesnt have to, i simply must believe he has six pack abs and is in fact invested in making people look at them. like he views his body as a machine, hes very active, he would NOT enjoy all of the new aches and pains and limitations that come with being magically EIGHTY. so after the witch of the wastes (uccio?? someone jealous and in love with vale LMAOO) brushes in to the hatshop that night and hates marc on sight/fundamentally alters his body, i think he IMMEDIATELY starts militantly looking for a solution.

the solution: the wizard valentino is this oft elusive but INCREDIBLY charismatic wizard known by whisper and rumor to a. be insanely powerful and b. eat the HEARTS out of his young suitors. and marc (CRAZY MAN.) goes oh well im not hot anymore so he wont do that to me. i will make him fix me! and then he invites himself into vale's home and refuses to leave! says i am your new HOUSEKEEPER. and you will help me break my curse thank you :)

BUT: instead of a mystical and powerful wizard, hes confronted with the HOT GUY that he met several weeks ago that he helped escape from the witch of the waste's GOONS. he was like. walking home. and vale (in his big poofy shirt) whisks him into a scheme... looks at marc all bright eyed mischief... and marc hasnt had any enrichment in his enclosure in so long and just feels LIT UP from the inside, falls into step with vale immediately, matching him as they go. feels ALIVE for the first time since alex took his apprenticeship in another town... so he helps vale escape, flirts with him a LOT and laughs even more. smitten. but crucially and unfortunately, he also has NO idea who vale is throughout this. so later when he walks in the door and finds out that the guy he has a major crush on is also THE WIZARD VALENTINO. who also has a small FLEET of HIGHLY SKEPTICAL teen boy apprentices that marc is now kind of in charge of coparenting and like. convincing to clean their rooms, its a bit of an insane time to be marc.

so some WILD but highly amusing control freak behavior from marc ensues.. lots of little frictions as he arrives... pushback from the kids, vale acting cold and dismissive, a brand new body that doesnt do what he wants it to do... but after a while, marc MAKES space for himself. forcibly improves their lives. settles in to a FAMILY and CRUCIALLY starts emotionally fulfilling the little feral animal inside him that yearns to throw himself off of motorcycles at high speeds. get this many adrenaline seeking freaks that know MAGIC in one place and they are inventing new types of danger Know This. marc is with vale and the kids doing insane shit. and for the first time since he took over his family's shop, he is allowing himself to do what he LOVES. find his purpose. enjoy a community. relieve some of the crushing weight of familial responsibility. its literally the best hes ever felt. and he is. SO in love. so so in love.

BUT im gonna pull something from the novel here: marc is also an incredibly powerful sorcerer. has been forever. he just has NO IDEA. like i see marc literally his entire life using magic in little ways to influence all of the crazy thrill seeking stuff that he's done, but entirely unintentionally. but vale fucking knows. could see it the second they met. in FACT. marc has already broken his curse (marc doesnt know that). but he likes sticking around vale. so he's unconsciously keeping himself old so he can avoid leaving. truly, like when he isnt thinking about his body and hes normal and happy he looks like his actual age. marc with silver hair just laughing with vale and the boys... smile lines staying there but wrinkles fading more and more as time passes... he doesnt want to go back to his old life!!! back to being unremarkable in the hatshop like he knows he should!!! and everytime he remembers he looks decades older... but vale doesnt want to lose him either. so he doesnt tell him. but he also vant make a move with it hanging over them like that... so they live in a fraught equilibrium of pining that is also lowkey a marriage LMAO. like you are coparenting. jesus.

EYE THINK. that the breaking point here is alex returning at some point. talking with marc. and marc is. SO happy to see alex. smiling as hard as he can. but also he looks older than he's looked since he first arrived. all of that responsibility and guilt rushing back for abandoning his life at the hatshop. and it TEARS into vale like omg i am keeping him here selfishly away from his brother.... so he sends him away, "breaks" his curse. and marc thinks hes being DUMPED. and thats how the divorce happens....

#crucially. he takes marc back to normal ass italy at some point. like howl does in the book where hes a rugby player from whales #this is post divorce nad they have a ranch dayyyyyyy #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #vale staring at marc sleeping under the stairs. hair gray but face unlined when hes dreaming.... when he isnt putting everything on himself

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accidentalshifter · 3 months

Note

I cannot switch my ask to my shifting blog so anon it is!

Hi! I'm Lai Lai! It's so nice to see another adult shifter! I'm in my 20's and i only see a few other adult shifters on here!

You've been shifting for a while right? Any favorite memory you wanna share? If not, that's completely fine!

I love hearing about shifters experiences and hearing them talk about their time in their dr's!

Hello there, Lai Lai~

Wow! I love your name. It's really very cute & sparkly in my brain. Lol, I'm glad I'm not the only old person in the Shifting Community. A lot of the friends I have who're close to my age have lost their whimsy. I refuse to. And so do my daydreams. I've been traveling in my sleep (and awake) since before the craze on Tiktok and only just discovered that other people were having the same experiences as me! It shocked me. But it also gave me sooo much comfort knowing that I wasn't alone... Even if I'm older than the generation who is exploring it now.

Some favorite memories from my desired realities include:

🌈 Solving a puzzle cipher out in the middle of a bamboo rainforest based on Chinese constellation mythology and discovering a jade sword afterwards. Then running into an old sage who called himself "Wang Bo" that invited me to train with said sword in order to defeat a powerful demon that lives in the rainforest. I am still training with the sword in this DR and Wang Bo is an amazingly cool teacher even if I'm a bad student lol and he doesn't get my internet jokes.

🌈 Just sitting and watching the rain in my Autumn-themed DR while keeping the hearth fire lit and drinking hot steaming tea. Listening to the wind as it blows through the golden leaves of a shivering aspen tree. The kind with eyes all up their whiter than white bark.

🌈 Time traveling in my Winter-themed DR & going to pre-historic times when mammoths had just died out to see/heal a past life that has its roots in issues that I experience in this life now. After confronting my past self, learning how the things I consider "weird" about me are actually my strengths, and hugging it out, I was able to move on emotionally, and have been in a much better place since then. I use shifting as a therapeutic tool as much as I do it for the thrill of exploring the whole multiverse.

🌈 Watching Klaus Mikaelson (from TVD/The Originals) read a book for a half an hour while being stuck as an invisible ghost in the New Orleans Mikaelson chateau. This one wasn't as fun and exciting as it was just plain memorable in general. While my other seasonally-based DRs are more in my control, anything to do with the Mikaelsons have been...unscriptable, unpredictable, and very vivid. Sometimes I feel like someone from that universe is summoning me there rather than me consciously deciding to be there.

🌈 Drinking at an ocean-themed neon nightclub in a futuristic world made completely out of plastic and enjoying all the weird colorful cocktails at the bar. The place was called Club O. It looked like a giant blue glass tower shaped like a 〰️ that speared a pirate's ship being consumed by a coral pink octopus 🐙 kraken. The tentacles the kraken had moved on their own and the suckers were made of LED lights that lit up the entire establishment. The tentacles also held huge glass bubbles 🫧 that were different parts of Club O that you could access with a keycard...given that you had the permissions to. Those were more private parts of the club while the main stage was housed in the pirate ship. If any of you shifters ever get to go there, I recommend you try the Monterran Sunset and the Neptune's Swill. Both drinks are a favorite of mine. ❤️

A lot of my DRs are seasonally-based and run on very light/no scripting. I really crave the fun and adventure of not knowing what my DR will throw at me at any given moment. So, every shift feels like anything could happen! Right now I've been putting a lot of focus on my TVD/Originals DR because the Mikaelsons have been yanking on my brain really hard and at this point I'm like:

I'll be probably talking about that DR first before I open up about my more personal, seasonal DRs. Thank you for sending me this ask, Lai Lai!

#accidental asks #shifting diary #shifting realities #reality shifting #shifting #shifting community #desired reality #reality shift #shiftblr #shifting stories

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pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer · 2 months

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Game Night: Cassette Beasts

Pokémon fans threatening to find a new monster taming series is like Americans threatening to move to Canada: we’ve all said it at some point, and for completely valid reasons, but the reality is that it just isn’t that easy to pick up and go. For me at least, it’s hard to pin down exactly what it is about Pokémon that’s central to my interest in it, so I’m not quite sure what to look for in other monster tamers. At the very least, when something like Palworld rolls around I can easily tell that it’s not that. The last several Pokémon games have been some of my favorites, but I’ve remained curious about the genre at large; unfortunately these games are innately a rather large commitment, which doesn’t pair well with my indecisive uncertainty. All this to say, while I was definitely intrigued by Cassette Beasts when I first heard about it years ago, that intrigue never actually went anywhere…until now.

I believe I recently heard someone toss it out as a recommendation on a stream I was watching, which is why it stuck out when I was browsing the Games Done Quick channel on YouTube. Out of curiosity, I wound up watching the speedrun. I then poked around the official wiki a bit and came to realize this game could be very appealing to me specifically. And BOY was I right about that!

Before we get into it, spoiler-free tl;dr: Cassette Beasts both wears its inspiration proudly on its sleeve and iterates upon it in many truly fascinating ways, with an atmosphere that switches effortlessly between delightfully cozy and creepy cool. I have some gripes, but I have been thoroughly entertained and downright mesmerized playing this game. If you have any interest in monster tamers, pixel art indie RPGs, and/or cosmic horror, I highly recommend checking Cassette Beasts out.

>PLAY

The game first asks you to customize your character, sans outfit—that comes later so you’re not entirely overwhelmed right away. There’s also an option for pronouns, including he/him, she/her, and they/them, which is lovely to see. You are then dropped onto the shore of a mysterious island, and are found by a girl who tells you that you’ve landed in a different dimension. So, yes, technically an isekai. But this is a limbo-esque world that only has humans because they keep falling into it from time to time—every single character is either from another world, or was born to parents who are stuck here. That, combined with making your character’s explicit goal “find a way home”, excellently avoids the most common pitfalls of the genre and lets you assess it without preconceived notions. What’s really interesting about this is that people are pulled from many different worlds, and from various points in the timeline: you have characters talking about the Mars landing of 1969 and the 20th century peace treaty with the elves, and also famous Greek philosophers and Karl Marx. I love how eclectic it is, and it’s frequently used in really funny ways. (You all remember Diogenes, right? Guess what traits are shared by all the monsters he uses.) The people brought here have all banded together in a mutually supportive community, with everyone contributing what they can and materials like wood and metal being traded for goods as opposed to using money. Why do we want to go home again? This sounds like a nice place to live!

But anyway, we’re here for the monsters. And in-game they are just called “monsters”, never “Cassette Beasts”. Which strikes me as odd. But the monsters have been in this world way longer than the cassette tapes, which are actually a relatively recent arrival courtesy of an isekai’d shopping mall. Rather than catching a monster, you record them on a blank tape, meaning that even if you are successful you’ll still need to defeat the monster or flee to end the battle. You then use your tape and cassette player to take on the form and powers of the recorded monster, and fight your battles first-hand! Pokémon briefly flirted with this idea in a spin-off manga (Pokémon ReBURST), but here it’s fully embraced; this sort of approach can be seen in other aspects too, as we’ll see later. After learning the basics, you’re given a few major questlines and then set free into the open world of New Wirral, tackling whatever catches your attention as you romp around. There is some level-scaling, though I’m not sure of the specifics. Regardless, both it and enemy AI can be adjusted via Settings, and you can also turn off the glitch effects that show up if those are impacting your experience. In battle you control both your avatar and one of several recruitable partners, and can carry up to six tapes at a time—essentially Doubles format, with all the complexity and chaos that entails. One very interesting wrinkle in the formula is that in addition to the tapes/monsters having health bars, the humans also have their own health bar, hidden under that of their tape as if the tape’s HP was a shield meter. If attacks overkill your tape, the excess damage is dealt to your own HP, and if you lose all of your HP then you’re done regardless of how many tapes you have left. It’s an important extra resource to keep in mind, and the same is true for (most) NPC cassette-users: if you deal enough damage to their own health bar you can defeat them without having to get through all of their tapes. Until the late/post-game, that is, where your human foes are invulnerable beneath their tapes while you very much are not, and that feels very unfair. I also find it strange that there’s no item for restoring your human HP—campfires to rest at are fairly plentiful, but it’s still somewhat odd.

Each monster has one type, and rather than limited uses for each of its moves, both characters generate AP every turn they can then spend on certain attacks. Moves also each have a type, but while there is a same type attack bonus (STAB), it’s not as significant as it is in Pokémon. Naturally, each type has advantages and disadvantages over other types, but! Weakness and resistance is also toned way down, and is not your primary goal when using type advantage. Type interaction is far, far more nuanced in this game, involving the entire spectrum of ailments and buffs and debuffs, and even changing the target’s type. For example: Water extinguishes Fire, temporarily reducing its attack power. Using Fire on Water creates steam, which heals Water over the next few turns. Fire also melts Ice, changing it to a Water type for a few turns. And this is all just barely scratching the surface! A chart showing these interactions is given to you in-game, which is nice; more than that, whenever you discover a new interaction for the first time, a tutorial box pops up and elaborates on the effects, as well as providing an explanation of why (extinguish, steam, melt, etc) that goes a long way in keeping track of them all. While a fantastic feature, it can get repetitive at times: the mystical Astral type has identical interactions with all four classical elements, and despite all 4 being mentioned the first time, you’ll still get that same text box explaining that interaction 4 times. Types range from the usual suspects (Fire, Water, Air) to some very…surprising choices (Glass, Plastic, Glitter), plus Typeless moves that take on the type of the monster using them. Moves are treated as stickers applied to your tapes, and can be peeled and moved at your discretion; you obtain them either from leveling up a tape, or from shops and chests and drops. Leveling up monsters (from 0 to 5 stars) also increases their max AP and how many move slots they have, and I think slightly increases their stats? Your human characters, though, have their own stats which increase as you level them up from 1 to…well I’m not sure exactly but it exceeds 100 at least. I couldn’t tell you the exact mathematical way the two sets of stats interact, but it’s a neat idea, strengthening yourself as well as the tapes you collect. Your partners gain experience even if they’re not with you, and thank God they do, otherwise it’d be a pain to spend proper time with each and every one of them.

There’s one other major battle mechanic unlocked at the end of the tutorial segment: Fusion. After filling up a meter, your avatar and partner can fuse their monster forms together to unleash hell upon your enemies. Monster sprites were made modular so that the game could automatically generate fusions on its own, meaning that there are in fact over 16000 different fusions you can make, and your bestiary will keep a list of them all. (Thank God there are absolutely no incentives for filling that list!) Fusing will also cause whatever music track is playing to gain vocals, which is a fun way to up the presentation factor. Your relationship with your partner is key to Fusion: its measured from 0 to 5 hearts, and you need at least 1 to be able to perform Fusion at all. At 2 hearts, you gain a super move. Every level gained increases the stats of your fusion as well. It’s a fun mechanic to mess around with, even if a lot of the fusions can look a bit derpy—small price for the sheer flexibility of the system. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that Pokémon fans have been enamored with fusion since at least B2W2; I doubt it’s coincidence that Cassette Beasts chose to implement it as a Mega Evolution-esque gimmick. Once you get to the late/post-game, the NPC fights also gain access to Fusion, giving you a chance to figure out ways to play around the feature from the other side.

Like I said before, this game greatly expands upon a number of fan-favorite concepts from Pokémon, and I’m pleased to say that extends all the way to Shinies. Every monster has a small chance to be a “bootleg”, with not only a different color scheme, but a different type. There are a total of 14 types in the game. Do you see where this is going? Every single monster has 14 variants with different types and color palettes (even their original type, weirdly enough?). And every single one has a page in their bestiary dedicated solely to tracking how many of these variants you’ve found. Probably nightmarish for a completionist, but holy shit is that insanely cool! Multiple palettes to choose from instead of being stuck with just one that might suck! And they have mechanical differences to incentivize recording them beyond simply collector’s value! Fantastic! There are also various ways to increase your odds, all the way up to 20% in specific cases, which I imagine will entice quite a few players into the hobby of bootleg hunting.

Let’s see, what other mechanical topics can I cover before moving onto more story-related stuff? Field moves are a thing—you obtain them by recording a specific monster, and in the case of some like the glide you’ll partially transform when it’s activated. I think it strikes a nice balance: it’s dependent on what you yourself have actually recorded, but doesn’t ask you to dedicate move or party slots to it. Their approach to evolution feels simplified: when you rest after getting a tape to 5 stars, you’ll be prompted to “remaster” it if applicable, rather than having to guess which level you should be aiming for. There are a few wrinkles when it comes to branching evolutions, but only a few, and mostly come down to either having a certain move on the monster to change its remaster, or, after choosing to remaster, being given two options right there. Those options can be a bit vague, though; I looked into it ahead of time, and if I had gone with the option my gut opted for when remastering my starter, I would have gotten the less cool-looking monster. I also want to mention the loading screens; you know how The Sims lists random stuff on its loading screens? They do something similar here, except they’re all related to one of the monsters: “Directing Traffikrab”, “Tuning Kittelly”, “Sharpening Ripterra’s knifeclaws”. It’s a little thing but I find it charming, and perhaps a bit devious in making players curious to track down these various monsters being teased. Oh, and selecting the Flee option will tell you your percent chance to flee, and even if you fail you can still choose to blackout if you really just want to get out of there. There’s also a Mystery Gift analogue that’s been used to distribute various bootlegs, and things I haven’t even tried like the “Gym Pass” to customize your player character's stats. Beating the game also unlocks customization options for future playthroughs like randomizers and permadeath. There’s a LOT. It’s a very packed game.

Right then, story. There are two BIG big questlines, one of which being a setup similar to collecting Gym Badges: there are 12 special NPCs all over the map who give you a stamp when you defeat them, but rather than specializing in a certain type, they tend to have a favorite tactic they employ in battle. One of the easiest to find specializes in moves that create defensive walls; one particularly annoying one prioritizes controlling accuracy and evasion; there’s even one who specializes in just one particular monster with an elaborate signature move. It’s perhaps not an enormous difference, but again, it’s nuanced. There is also a “Champion” fight at the end, but I won’t get into that. More importantly, the questline that the game is largely centered around and leads to the end credits, is the hunt for hidden subway stations that house powerful, eldritch boss monsters known as Archangels. Apparently, when humans first wound up in New Wirral, they didn’t know what to make of the monsters and tended to refer to them as angels or demons. That fell out of fashion as the community came to understand monsters better. The Archangels, however, cannot be understood by human minds. Each one is drawn/animated in its own style that clashes with the world around them—your partners all say that it hurts just to look at them, and just being in the stations makes them feel uneasy. A personal favorite is the claymation skeleton with a vertical mouth, to give you some idea of what to expect. These fights have their own unique mechanics, and the Archangels tend to hit very, very hard; if you do survive, some floating guy in a red coat with a 3D rendered reflective triangle for a head shows up and absorbs the boss (concerning), and you’re given part of a riddle that will eventually lead you to the final dungeon. The vibes are incredibly at odds with the typical overworld gameplay, and I mean that in THE best possible way. The Archangels were a real highlight for me.

In addition to those, every partner you can recruit has their own questline, which can range from a single fight all the way to finding 6 hidden locations around the map with their own substantial battles to win. The girl who finds you at the start of the game, Kayleigh, is your first partner, first having a quest that’s essentially “finish the tutorial” before switching to a more personal quest that involves dealing with an actual cult. You’re also very early on pushed in the direction of Eugene, who has that long, long quest finding hidden locations all over the map. Slow-going as it is, though, it’s about fighting off a horde of capitalist vampires who are trying to establish a housing market, so. That’s fucking hilarious. But it has stiff competition in Felix’s quest, where you follow his middle school OC brought to life as she journeys to four sacred altars to slay their guardians. That’s right, Felix’s edgy anime OC, an angel demon catgirl ninja named Kuneko, is also up and about in New Wirral and he is mortified by this discovery. Excellent questline, no notes. Another partner you’ll run into fairly early is Meredith; her quest involves navigating a dungeon you probably won’t get to for a good while, though it’s a solid dungeon when you do get to it. There’s also Viola, the character from Twelfth Night by William fucking Shakespeare, whose search for her brother takes her into a haunted shipwreck to face a villain from a different Shakespeare story. New Wirral is very eclectic. But perhaps least expected of all is Barkley the dog. One of your playable partners is a dog. His quest is the shortest and an utterly fucking brutal punch to the emotional gut. Anyway I like all these folks, they’ve got personality and endearing character development that touches on some personally relevant topics. Aside from Barkley, you can romance any partner after maxing out your relationship level, and that was a tough choice to make. The Gym Leader analogues are sufficiently quirky for their role, and you meet a handful of other perfectly fine recurring characters—including a few who are only encountered in post-game quests. If I’m really being strict here, I don’t think I’d say any of this game’s characters have jumped the ranks to new blorbo status, but take that as you will.

The post-game has an interesting structure to it. You don’t unlock any new areas, not really, but after engaging with the newly-unlocked sidequest board for a bit, you gain access to a few longer questlines. There are two that eventually come together which each feature their own new characters, one following the direct consequences of actions you took earlier in the story, and one that’s about someone new being dropped onto New Wirral, showing that the world keeps turning even if your particular story is over. There’s also another questline which delves even deeper into the background lore of the game, and that’s something I’ll never get enough of. The repeating sidequests are brief and rewarding enough to from a satisfying gameplay loop to disguise the grind, and I’m only just now considering an extended break after nearly 70 hours total gameplay (which I would guess is around half post-game).

Oh, I should also talk more about the bestiary and completing it! Each monster has the standard flavor text and habitat listing, plus that page that tracks bootlegs, and a list of how many you’ve encountered/defeated. However, when you raise a tape to 5 star level, you also unlock an additional page of flavor text, usually something related to the inspiration for the monster’s design. While heavily scaled back, having this sort of progression in the bestiary reminds me of doing research in Pokémon Legends Arceus, and I very much appreciate that. Going that far is optional, of course—really, doing anything involving the bestiary is optional. But the game does nudge you in that direction and reward you several times along the way. When you first encounter the “professor” character, he gives you a series of quests that just ask you to record one of the monsters found in the central region of the map. Easy! From there, he gives you a handful of resources and tapes every time you hit a new milestone of 10 monsters recorded. In the post-game you can also randomly get quests asking you to get a certain monster to 5 star, or perform a specific fusion, or use a specific monster to fight the professor’s assistant, all slowly, slowly nudging you in the direction of completion. But what’s really interesting is that you don’t necessarily have to fully complete the bestiary to get the grand prize (this game’s equivalent to the Master Ball). Cassette Beasts originally had 120 monsters. A later update raised that to 128, and some time after that, they released a DLC that added a handful of unnumbered monsters. You get the Master Tape by recording 128 monster species. So, if you record a bunch of the DLC monsters, you can “complete” the bestiary without tracking down every last monster in the base game. If you do go beyond that, the completion percentage will actually go over 100%, which is so weird to see, but in a cool way. It seems the intention was specifically to not make completion increasingly difficult as new updates are added, which is honestly pretty rad! And, again, though I appreciate the bestiary remembering all of your fusions, I’m so glad there’s nothing incentivizing you to from every last one of them. Same goes for bootlegs. So, does this mean future updates/DLC with even more monsters are on the way? No clue. But they are working on a multiplayer update expected to release soon! (I don’t have Switch Online so I won’t be able to do much with that lol.)

I did purchase the DLC right away; I was confident I would enjoy the game enough I would want it eventually, and buying them both together was slightly cheaper than buying them separately. (The bundle also comes with a cosmetics pack but it’s nothing that interests me personally.) After progressing through the main quest enough that you become able to access the final dungeon, a small boat washes ashore, and you’re able to ride it to a dock in the middle of the ocean housing some sort of carnival. The ringmistress asks you to explore the three major attractions and beat their power sources, the “Infernal Engines”, into submission. Despite being a small area it’s still just as open-ended as New Wirral, an effort I appreciate. You can tackle the attractions in any order you want, even leave in the middle of one to go do another if you prefer. The place is also populated by several new monsters to record, including one of my personal favorites, a ghostly book monster named Hauntome. It’s a few mini-dungeons, some solid bosses capping them off, and then one last boss, with a loose story in the background that has some connections to the main story but isn’t anything essential. I don’t know if I’d go as far as to call it a must-buy, but it is fun, and inexpensive, and more Cassette Beasts. Up to you.

There are two major themes I picked up on during my playthrough: community and art. The people who’ve ended up in New Wirral, in spite of coming from countless different dimensions, have all banded together to support each other and however many newcomers show up; they don’t even ask for anything in return, they just value life and want to be sure people are cared for. The theme that plays in Harbourtown is transparent about this: “we’re all in the same ship […] but at least we’re together […] I don’t know you but we’ll make the most of / wherever we are now”. Fusion is about literally joining with someone to create something stronger than either of you could do on your own. There are even some genuinely scary twisted manifestations of this idea, like the Mournington cult and the truth behind the Landkeepers—people crave community, and there are some who will use that to their own advantage. It’s baked into the motivations of all your partners, and, switching gears, most of them are heavily connected to art too! Felix is an artist learning he doesn’t need to be ashamed of his past, less “polished” work. Kayleigh, after addressing her regrets with Mournington, reconnects with her old hobby of playing guitar. Meredith actually takes things in a different direction: she used to spend all of her time consuming vast quantities of art to the point that it cut her off from her community, showing that you still need to exercise moderation when it comes to art. Viola is a character from another, pre-existing work of art! The Archangels play into this as well: one of the biggest things setting them apart is the way they clash with the rest of the game’s art style, and their nature as incarnations of humankind’s ideas is a delightfully malevolent spin on the whole thing.

Taking these two themes together, Cassette Beasts presents a thesis on our responsibility to our fellow people and how we can all find our own way to fulfill it, with a particular focus on art and how it broadly conveys our ideas and inspires change. The final boss fight punctuates this beautifully when, after Aleph destroys your cassette player, Morgante awakens and tells you that you don’t truly need the cassettes. “THE ABILITY TO MANIFEST YOUR WILL TO ALTER REALITY…TO CHANGE YOUR WORLD, AND YOURSELVES...THAT LIES WITHIN YOU.” Then she and ALL of your partners fuse with your avatar, and through your combined might, you strike down the malevolent forces in your way, secure a path home, and bring a huge, fundamental change to New Wirral as its inhabitants now have the option to decide if they should stay or go. It’s an extremely satisfying ending, even if it does see you and your partners going their separate ways. But, who knows? Given a few tidbits from the post-game, it sounds like we just might get to meet them again someday.

Again, I had a really, really great time with Cassette Beasts and highly recommend it. It’s charming, its fun, and it’s only $20! Maybe don’t get it on Switch, though, not if you can’t stand frequent load times.

And, just to brag about my bootlegs a little:

-The random free bootleg from Harbourtown was a Glass-type Dandylion for me

-The freebie Ritual Candle netted me a Water-type Glaistain!

-The post-game bootleg starter, I got a Poison-type Candevil

-Was able to use the mailbox to get a Fire-type Undyin

-And obviously there’s Barkley’s Ice-type Pombomb

-The first one I encountered purely by chance was an Astral-type Jellyton

-Air-type Jellyton

-Ice-type Carniviper

-Astral-type Carniviper

-Fire-type Traffikrab

-Plant-type Squirey

-Ice-type Boltam

-Lightning-type Snoopin

-Poison-type Kirikuri

-Glass-type Scubalrus

-Glass-type Spooki-onna

-Lightning-type Dominoth

-A Fire-type Piksie

-A Glitter-type Picksie

#Cassette Beasts #Game Night

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chaosduckies · 7 days

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Rising Tides (Chapter 1)

So basically this is just a piece for Mermay. A very late piece, but if you guys like it, I’ll continue it! Honestly, this is very fast paced, and I’m very sorry, but it is STRESSFUL out here.

Word Count: 2.8k

CW: Mentions of Death, A little bit of violence (just getting chased my a shark), that’s pretty much it I think!

1-Nico

The ocean was a dangerous place. Even for someone who has lived here their entire life.

Living in the ocean meant knowing how to survive on your own. It meant knowing just how desperate other creatures were to survive. I knew that. I knew just how much of a light snack I was. I knew that I was small. Incapable of being strong or even giving one glare at someone and making them swim away with their tail fins behind their backs.

Such is the life of a very, very insignificant, mer like myself.

The little reef I lived in was small, but quaint. My parents love it. I don’t live very far from them. Occasionally I would go over and have dinner with them. Even if I wasn’t hungry. They would ask how my day was, and I would say: “It was good.” we would catch up since the last time we ate, and then they’d ask me if I finally made any friends. I would tell them no.

Today, really wasn’t a good day.

My job for the community was to gather kelp. Weird, right? Only some mers eat kelp, like myself. I’m weird. But that’s besides the point! I gather some at least once a week and give it to another person who just delivers it somewhere I don’t even know. I feel like I should probably figure that out, but I’m pretty sure that didn’t really matter-

Everyone had their own designated job to do for the community. We didn’t have any currency, but the people who lead us told us to do our part, and usually mers are very reluctant to listen so, no one complained. It’s not like I didn’t like my job. Every time I eat I think to myself “Maybe this is the same patch I picked myself-“ Stupid, right? But, everyone has their jobs so they can keep on peacefully living in this community. Though, sometimes it’s not all that great.

Some mers don’t like each other. When a fight happens, they like solving it civilly so it doesn’t encourage anymore to happen. That’s not it for my case. A lot of people don’t like me. Not because I did something wrong to them. Nonono. I could never hurt a person. Even if I tried. It’s mainly because people outcast people with brightly colored tails. Like mine maybe? They say it’s a liability. That it’ll only get me killed if I’m ever on my own. They’re probably not wrong either.

Despite my parents having a dark purple colored tail, mine was a bright purple. It’s not good at all for camouflage, it reflects some sunlight when I’m closer to the surface, and it’s just basically like a sign to other mers saying “Hey! I can very easily be killed from a large predator!” And no one wants to be with someone like that. As for the soulmate thing? Despite humans having to find their one true love, mers just have to make a few friends, and if the universe decides that you were meant to be with someone, then there would be a matching tattoo on your wrists after a single contact. Again, weird, right?

——————

I was swimming off to my small, but humble house hidden inside a huge piece of coral. I don’t even know how I found this place, but I remember loving it because it had a perfect view of the sun above the ocean, and it was far away from most people except for the occasional kid who was just exploring. It was a nice place. I just carried up some sand here made it look nice and decorated with some shells I find while gathering kelp. Turns out you can make a decent home if you really try hard enough.

There were two shells I had today, a nice light blue one that was probably just a piece of an old clam shell, and a mixture of an orange and yellow one that came from a hermit crab that abandoned its home. I was going to give these to my parents later since they also love seeing the bright colored shells, but they were too scared to travel far from the little village we live in. There are predators out there that would love to snack on a helpless mer, and no one was going out unless they knew they could live on their own or they were hunters getting fish for the others. My parents were none of the above. They preferred the village life. They practically new everyone here and they were both soulmates. And here I am the entire opposite. What a great son I am, right?

I grabbed a little satchel from my home and started to slowly swim off to my parents. The sun was setting, the water above reflecting a bright orange hue. It was a nice evening. Hasn’t been like this in forever because of all the storms happening above. It’s a wonder how those fishing boats humans have stay afloat when all the waves are just trying to rock them over. Well, maybe it’s because they have some help from other mers or something like that. It wasn’t unheard of.

The path to my parents’ humble abode was lined with clumped up seaweed and some colorful rocks. Their house was dimly lit, but I knew that they were still awake. My mom was probably making some kind of bag while dad was eating happily in his chair. I swam in.

“Hey mom.” I mumbled.

“Nico! Your plate is on the table!” She cheered back at me. She was always happy to see me. Even if I came at least two times a week to visit. I was old enough to take care of myself. Or… at least in the community we live in.

I looked at the plate on the table, shook my head and swam into the main room where they were doing just as I had imagined. Mom was almost done making a very small bag that she would probably give to one of her friends. I looked through my own bag, grabbing the two small shells I found and placed them on one of the side tables near my dad.

He inspected them before smiling to himself. I knew he liked them more than my mom did. He said he used to bring buckets back home to his parents and just have a collection to himself. I see why he did. It was fun to find some. Better than sitting around the house all day and not having anything to do.

I stared at the matching tattoos on both of my parent's wrists, slightly rubbing my own. I knew I wouldn’t find someone who would actually like me. I can’t even picture myself with anyone else. It was the sad, but indisputable truth. And I’ve accepted that fact.

——————

The next morning, I woke up with my dark hair in my face and streaks of light I shining through some cracks in the little coral cave I lived in. I forced myself up, lazily rubbing my eyes. What should I do today? The question practically begged for an answer. I could just go swim around, but that does’t really sound all that fun if I were being honest. I mean, people would just sit and stare at me all day or do the exact opposite and whisper hurtful comments and rumors about me. Not that I really cared about that though. I said to myself that once I was able to, I would move away from here and just live on my own.

Today I felt adventurous though.

I grabbed my little satchel, and headed out, the morning sun still rising above the waters surface. The ocean felt great today. Today just felt like a good day. Something that’s rare to come by when you’re all on your own.

Where was I swimming out to you may ask? Well, for your information, I was currently heading outside of the community I live in. It’s not like it’s prohibited, but most mers don’t find a need to venture out further when they already knew what was out there. Predators, other mers, food, fish, water. There really wasn’t anything new to find out here when you’re in this ocean. I guess what they really feared were the sharks that were found near the area though. But most don’t even bother with us. Mostly because no small mer like myself is crazy enough to venture out here alone. Yeah, I’m crazy enough.

To a large shark, I’d probably be like, half it’s size. Most likely shorter. A purple tail is a sign that you’ll be a small mer, but big enough to be on your own. I was the exception though, given that I had a brighter color and was actually the size of like a small human basically. Yes, I was made fun of by some old classmates and sometimes my parents when I was still a pup, yes I know I’m small, and yes I can reach the top shelf on the counter (I mean I can swim so-)

Swimming along the ocean floor along with the many overgrown plants and small anemones where I saw several clownfish leave to go get whatever is was that they needed. I had found a huge coral reef far into the ocean, there were tons of colorful fish everywhere I had looked.

I want to say it was maybe an hour long of just roaming and admiring the many colors of the reef I had just found before my eyes drifted off to something big and dark in the distance. I squinted, slightly swimming closer where, for some reason, none of the fish dared to do.

Filled by my curiosity, I swam towards the large object, wondering what it was. It was a long ways from the reef. It was dark, only seaweed and some kelp patches were the only plants. There were some starfish and snails, some crabs, but that was all the life I could find. It seemed like this part of the deep ocean was pretty much deserted. Strange.

I kept going, seeing that the object I was looking at looked like those metal ships humans make, except it was wooden and had a bunch of holes. I swam cautiously in, minding that this was a place far away from home and there would basically be no hope in escaping a shark or something if I encountered one. I took a look at my tail, still bright when the waters here were dark and the sun was covered by a layer of seaweed. This would be fine. Nothing was going to find me here… Hopefully.

The shipwreck didn’t leave much behind. Just some broken pieces of old wood and some old pictures. I doubt there would be anything of worth in here honestly, but I kept on looking, fueling my curiosity. What else was I supposed to do? If I do end up finding something maybe I can show it off to the mers back at home and maybe then they’ll stop ridiculing me and making fun of me for having a bright tail. There is no way I was the only mer in the entire ocean like this!

There was a room that looked much like an office. Broken pieces of a desk, a little container that once held ink. What I was really intrigued about was the little open chest that revealed a round pice of flattened gold. I grabbed it, studying the rust colored piece of metal. Humans used this as currency once before, right? I’m sure they don’t use whatever these were anymore. Or if whatever I was holding was even a kind of currency. It just seemed like something a human would use.

I stuffed the gold piece in my bag and continued looking. At least until I saw a large shadow swim fast in the corner of my eye. I kept my arms close to my chest, keeping my breathing controlled before I overreacted. It was probably just a big fish… yeah. Just a really, really big fish that can swim amazingly fast.

I saw the same shadow swim by again, but this time it bumped into something, making me let out a little surprise yelp. I immediately clasped my hands over my mouth, hearing another thunk! Before I saw the full shadow of whatever the hell was outside. It was a shark. A huge shark. And it looked hungry.

My hands were shaky, I couldn’t move. I wasn’t going to die, right? I didn’t actually think something like this would happen! I thought those were just rare occurrences that people were making rumors about. Was I actually going to die? No. There has to be some way out of this.

Looking around, I found a small little crack I could probably fit in if I really tried. I swam slowly closer to it, noting that the thunks outside were getting closer. Please let me get out of here alive… I kept telling myself as I hurried to fit myself in the tiny crack. As soon as I was out, something fast was coming my way, and I was swimming just as fast to get away.

It was hard to swim when you were in a life or death situation. I never realized that until now. I stole a glance behind me, letting out a weak yelp when I saw the sharks mouth open wide. Great. It seemed like I could fit perfectly in that thing. Imagine being killed by those sharp teeth- No don’t think about that. Not right now at least.

The water around me only grew darker as we headed deeper into the ocean. There were some small caves, but I didn’t want to really trap myself in there. I had no idea why this shark was so desperate in the first place. It was so much bigger than a regular shark, couldn’t it find something else to eat other than a mer? Like a big fish or something?

Eventually I realized why the shark seemed so interested in me. They like bright colors. I remember being told something like that when I was younger. It’s just great that my tail is just sooo bright, right? Wow I am so unlucky. My only hope to lose the shark (Who was gaining on me really fast, ohmygoshwhatdoIdo?) is to somehow lose it in a cave or something. Hopefully there was a small space I could get into that the shark couldn’t. And of course hope I don’t run into anything else that was hungry.

There was a huge cave in front of me, and I took my chances. I felt the sharks jaws snap behind me, just mere inches from snapping on top of my tail. I shuddered, but kept swimming fast, trying to find some kind of small cave to fit myself into. Please oh my gosh I’m getting so tired I don’t want to die- Stop thinking like that. I’m not going to die. At least not today.

Just a couple feet ahead of me, I spotted a tiny hole that looked like it could fit me if I squeezed in fast enough. I stole another glance, seeing the shark right there behind me. I let out a scream, grabbing the bag around my neck and throwing it back at it. It slowed it down just a tiny bit, but it kept after me. Maybe just enough time to get myself safe.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease.” I muttered to myself, not noticing that something big moved in the dark.

Right before I could fit myself through the crack hopefully leading to a small cave, I felt a sharp pain in my tail, The part I actually needed to be able to swim. I was forced out, seeing that it was caught in between the sharks sharp teeth. It let go for just a split second, before a loud growl was heard, making the shark almost instantly swim off. Tears stung my eyes (Weird because we’re underwater right?), but I blinked them away and stared at my tail fin, seeing all too many rips and tears. It hurt so, so much.

That was when my mind had finally clicked and wondered why the shark had left in the first place. The growl. The two huge sets of dark blue eyes trained on me. The slight hue they gave off. Oh. It was just a really, really, really, huge mer. The ones that eat other mers? That destroy community’s for no reason? The one’s that were outcasted? That’s just wonderful.

I tried swimming away, but the tears in my fins didn’t let me, making me whimper like a lost puppy. My breathing was fast, as I stared back into the eyes that would soon be the death of me. Oh I am so going to die.

And suddenly I was encased in darkness again.

——————

Yayyyy new characters. No worries, the giant mer is good. But oh noooo I totally didn’t hurt Nico’s tail on purpose for future purposes… Okay but I feel bad for my little mer. I’m not that sadistic.

But anyways, thank you guys for reading this little Drabble, and of course I know it’s not my best writing, but I was rushing and it’s just these last few days of school that are KILLING me. I hope you guys liked this, and thank you for reading!

#g/t #g/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t #my writing #Rising Tides #oc: Nico #Yayyy new characters #Honestly I think I focused more on the characters than the world building…#If you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask!#I’m sure I left plenty of holes anyways lol #Anyways #big mers name will be revealed eventually #Yeahhhh #thanks for reading!#love you guys ❤️

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