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tetsunabouquet · 1 year

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Basic Instinct Part 2

AN: Because this is my most popular drabble, and people seem to like my take on Akashi in particular I’m making a part 2. I’m still consdering a parenthood drabble for Kuroko so I’m gonna do it at this point! Remember, requests are open. I know there is at least 1 person on Tumblr suffering from Akashi brainrot. Feel free to hit me up! I don’t bite.

Warnings: Just like part 1, expect hurt, comfort and angst regarding toxic parents. Masterpost It had been 2 weeks since Akashi ate at the Maji Burger with you. His father had been downright furious, but it strangely enough didn’t matter to him as much as it should. Sure, he felt guilt, but it was as if he had been too high to care. It reminded him of the time just after his mother had passed. His father had, immediately after the funeral, increasened his studies and put him to work. He had been stuck in the house for days. When he finally had some free time to ride Yukimaru, the sudden exposure to fresh air and oxygen from the outside had made him giddy. He had been giddy as he sat down in his room after his father had reprimanded him. All happy, yet the world felt like spinning, both the negative and positive thoughts were swirling through his head to the point where he felt disoriented. It was a strange feeling. Which is why he had been grounded for the past two weeks, his father’s punishment for letting his friends matter more then his academics. He hadn’t even been allowed to return to Rakuzan for these past two weeks because ‘his friends were a distraction’ and he needed to ‘catch up with his missed studies’. Akashi’s father seemed to hope that taking him away from his friends for 2 weeks would teach him to care about his duties more, but it only had the opposite effect. If anything, Akashi was dying to see you and his teammates. And it seemed all of you were just as eager to see him. You were standing with the three crownless generals, chatting with them with a warm smile plastered on your face as Reo told you something. He should have known you’d befriend his teammates in his absence. You were too friendly and curious of nature not to approach them. Akashi almost felt jealous as you smiled at Reo like that. The four of you turned as Eikichi pointed him out. You bounced excitedly upon seeing him, the warm smile on your face turning into a 1000 watt smile. Like a luminous bunny. He couldn’t help but smile back. The five of you had been chatting throughout the 15 minutes you all had before you’d have to head to class. Kotaro had been involved in a skating accident last week, and as a result had been rather argumentative. “Sometimes, people lash out when they’re in pain.” Came your remark as the two of you were heading to your class. The way you breathed it out sounded rather tired so Akashi glanced at you, noticing how the brightness in your expression was faltering. “Did something happen with your mother?” “Not really. Other then her making light threats, she’s been in her self-centered state of mind these past couple of days. There are traces of an actual mother who’s warm and good, but my mom is ruled by her sickness and knows 3 modes, you see? There’s her self-centered mode, which is her ‘good’ mode. She’ll revolve everything about her, and I am basically her property and servant when she’s like that. Then there are her two ‘bad’ modes. The first is ignoring my existence, when she gives me the silent treatment and even if I beg for her help, she’ll just start humming something like the French national anthem. And finally, you have her ‘aggressive’ mode. This is when she’s threatening me, or abusing me. Most of it is verbal and emotional, like that nobody wants me and I’m a parasite who sucks away her happiness.” You explained it clearly, your face hardening and showing no emotion, other then the trembling off your lips. You were clearly trying not to get emotional and sad from saying it out loud, and your pace towards the classroom was slowing down. Akashi slowed down too. “I’m sorry you have to go through that.” “It’s fine. It’s not like your dad hasn’t been shitty towards you either. You were grounded for skipping your classes to eat with me at the Maji Burger, weren’t you?” Akashi saw you pursing your lips with remorse, and felt bad he made you feel responsible. “You shouldn’t worry. It’s what I wanted.” He assured you, and you gave him a soft smile. “Really?” “Really.” He felt relief as you took a deep breath, the guilt on your face fading as the door of your classroom appeared in sight. Akashi was already exhausted by lunch break. Studying for 2 weeks straight with no break or anything made lunch break, when he could breathe and just be, hit him as hard as a truck on full speed. For the first time ever, he felt like he could fall asleep during class. And if anyone was noticing it, it was you. It would always be you. This time, when walking back to class, you looked over your shoulder, almost in a conspiratory way, and then you leaned in. He could feel your breath tickle his left ear, and he was pretty sure he was shivering. “How about we skip?” “What?!” He was looking at you with an incredulous expression. “You heard me. You look like a brick who’s about to fall off of a building. Either I ask the teacher for a slip so I can drag your butt to the infirmary where you can catch a good rest, or, we go have fun on the roof where I will teach you a thing or two about my life’s philosophy as promised.” Your posture was firm and almost motherly, but your eyes were shining with mischief. Akashi knew you wouldn’t back off. That was something he had already known before he approached you. So he might as well accept full-heartedly. “Take me to the roof.” He told you, and with an excited expression, you tugged him at his sleeve, away from the hallways filled with classrooms. Akashi surrendered himself to your excitement, feeling his own bubbling up. But why his heart was pounding, he had no clue. Perhaps it was the idea of a real break after those dreadful two weeks. Perhaps it was the act of skipping class for the first time. Perhaps it was your hand, still holding onto his sleeve. Likely, it was everything. That day, the two of you would plant the seeds to great joy.

#basic instinct #akashi x reader #akashi #akashi seijuro #knb #knb x reader #comfort #skipping class #toxic parents #kuroko no basuke #kuroko's basketball

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clairelsonao3 · 9 months

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Writer Q&A

Yay, today's tag game is a Q&A, for which I have @tabswrites to thank! Tess's post is here.

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Well, I thought it was writing a memoir about the two months I spent on a tall ship sailing across the Atlantic Ocean. The publishing industry thought differently, and now my agent won't return my calls. 😂

Actually, I think all of the ideas that I've actually gone on to execute (except that one, but granted, I only ever wrote three chapters) were good. If an idea isn't good, I probably won't get far with it.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

I've been asked (in a nice way) why I like to write the things I like to write about in fiction (whump and slavery in particular). I could probably write a paper on it, but it's something I don't mind thinking deeply about. Is it trauma? Is it just personal preference? Is it a bit of both? I probably will never know.

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

Making people feel things via my stories. Think about what a powerful gift that is. You created a fictional person and someone cared enough about them (in that moment) anyway to feel an emotion based on what happened to them. I'm actually not always great at expressing emotion in my real life (I mean, who is) and I DEFINITELY suck at telling stories verbally. (Seriously, it surprises people that I can't tell an anecdote to save my life; I get tongue-tied and awkward. I just can't do it). But I love writing stories because it's the best means (sometimes the only means) I know to make a connection with someone emotionally in that way.

But almost literally having to strap yourself down in front of a screen and go days without experiencing sunlight, fresh air, or other human because it's the only way you can finish something you're working on and feel superhumanly compelled to finish? Take or leave.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

Characters with stories that simply are crying to come out, and that haven't been told by anyone else. (If they HAVE been told by someone else, I wouldn't need to write them!)

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Write what you want, not what you think you should.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

See above.

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

The Adored, my YA thriller. I've completed (and published) three other novels, but this is the only one I'll talk about. 😂

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

Bad writers imitate. Good writers steal.

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Wait, do you actually mean "controversial," or do you mean just plain evil? Because I have plenty of villains whose mindsets are just ... not good at all. Assuming you mean just controversial and/or morally gray, Jake from Good Slaves Never Break the Rules has ideals that are noble, but his methods are, well, less so. It's not entirely his fault, though!

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I think she'd probably hit me over the head with a wiffle bat (I started writing when I was four or five so I feel that would be her weapon of choice) for getting so far away from my roots (i.e. writing romance and things I'm passionate about) and taking this long to get back to them.

I always seem to tag the following people in games they've already done or don't wanna be tagged in, and I expect this one will be no exception.🤣 But I'll give it a shot! And please ignore it if I failed again:

@romanceandshenanigans @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @i-can-even-burn-salad

#tag game #q&a #my writing #writeblr

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benevaletete · 1 year

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If Laurent expresses his anger through verbal insult, do you have any headcanons on how Auguste expresses his own anger towards his brother (/others)?

(No obligation to answer this, of course!)

Thank you for this interesting question! 💐

In my characterisation of Auguste, he was brought up as someone who had to fulfill his responsibilities, there was no helping that. Even if he didn‘t like it or had negative emotions about something. He is the crown prince, he has to do his father‘s, the kingdom‘s bidding. So he often had to suck it up and get on with things. As such I think Auguste learned early on to suppress his negative emotions, because nobody would want to hear them or accommodate him with them, the feelings would only make him suffer internally. He had no use for them. So, they had to go. And bam — there you have it: emotional constipation!

Now with Laurent it is an intensely intimate relationship and thus his handling of negative emotions may be different than with outsiders — not least because Auguste (gladly so) feels like a substitute guardian towards his little brother — I think he would, depending on the situation either

1. go silent, give Laurent ‚unfair‘ or ‚strict‘ orders to express his discontent with his brother’s conduct (which riles Laurent up even more because it is a tactic of avoiding conflict and Laurent is looking for confrontation) or

2. swallow hard and fight against the tears (I see this happening especially when Laurent is verbally assaulting Auguste‘s ability to look after him, doubts Auguste‘s love or says something rash about traumatic events they both went through together)

With others, I think Auguste has a way speaking curt and measuredly polite when angered, yet with a firmness anyone understands as carefully controlled anger. But Auguste is not the perfect noble sunny boy everyone likes to see him as in the books. He has flaws.

I imagine that sometimes when things get too much for him, when he fails to ‚hold it all together’ for even just a second longer, he snaps. This may include him raising his voice, slamming his hands on the table, sweeping things off of his desk in anger or making bad, emotionally-based decisions or saying rash things.

It is something entirely different though when he feels anger/wrath towards a personal enemy who has done Laurent or him/his family harm (I‘m thinking of their Uncle here). I think in such cases he‘d drop the facade of politeness, of good manners and a sense of duty and just lets all his wretchedness loose. He‘d speak cruelly, like Laurent, he‘d be indifferent to accommodate any feelings of the person he‘s talking to, he‘d be capable of things no one would think perfect Auguste to be capable of. He‘d inflict pain, he‘d use his power to strip this person of everything they have. He is a ferocious protector.

What are your headcanons for these two?

#lauguste #laurent of vere #auguste of vere #hc

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donnerpartyofone · 2 years

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I'm in this part of my life where I need to do a lot of outreach and just learn to be more public in general, so for better or worse I'm stuck with Twitter for the moment. And like honestly I have made some pretty great connections through it, but the thing that repels me about it most is actually not the bickering or hostility or pompous monologuing--those things suck, but the worst thing is noticing how everyone is always saying the same thing all the time. There's a freaky uniformity in how people talk, and what they talk about, that's very unsettling; sometimes it's kind of understandable, like we'll have a slew of mass shootings right on top of each other and suddenly 2 out of 3 tweets start with the words "this broke me" for hours on end, and it's like well what can anyone really say? In a really bad situation it's natural for lots of people to get stuck with the same repetitive thought in their heads. But there's still something that bugs me about prefabricated phrases like that; on some level I guess the brain has always just selected among a range of stock phrases, most people aren't really that verbal anyway, but I think there's something about the internet that escalates how fast everything gets catch phrase-ified, and now Twitter especially just reads like a randomizer that spits out different combinations of about 50 prepackaged punchlines that everyone uses for whatever experience they might be having. Sometimes this means that people think they're being really cool and funny when they're not, because whatever punchline they're using was cool and funny in its original context, which is long gone by now. Sometimes it means that people are trying to convey profound seriousness and urgency for a perfectly good reason, and they just wind up sounding ridiculous because their tweet is surrounded by an endless chain of nearly identical tweets using the same exact language. It feels like everyone is just imitating the same TV commercial all the time and no one is bothered. *crotchety old coot voice* Back in my day, if you were a person who was still doing impressions of Austin Powers or Ace Ventura or Bart Simpson or Homey the Clown or whatever, too long past a certain point, then you were considered corny and annoying. Now it's like everyone just talks like that all the time, forever, nobody remembers how to express themselves organically or spontaneously anymore, it's all indexed on some bank of catch phrases, even when people are trying to be emotional. It's fucking weird. It makes me feel like it's time to watch PONTYPOOL again, a deeply terrifying movie where the main symptom of--or perhaps even cause of--a viral outbreak of violent psychosis is that the sufferers get stuck repeating certain phrases or words, and can never stop. Ever since I saw it, I sometimes realize that I'm sitting near someone with the Pontypool virus at a bus stop or in a restaurant or just anywhere, someone is repeating themselves mindlessly over and over because they want to talk but have nothing to say, or they're trying to tell the same joke over and over since no one laughed the first time and they can't get over it, and when I hear it I always think to myself, oh my god, I have to get out of here RIGHT NOW.

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ungalossimp · 1 year

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Ungalo thoughts :

non-verbal headcanons + f/o thoughts

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✧･ I've been semi non-verbal for a while now (autism burnout + trauma response + social anxiety goes brrr). Which means I can't bring myself to talk to anyone, even if I really want to. It even happens when I'm alone.

The words / sentences form in my mind but then I freeze. The words rush in my mind but I can't talk, so it "piles up" in an overwhelming way. It's not only exhausting to talk, it can also feel terrifying - I feel a lot of pressure. I also struggle a lot to maintain eye contact during those moments.

When things get difficult I imagine Ungalo hugging me / being with me, and it helps a lot. I bet he would understand and help me as much as he can :3

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✧･ He wouldn't force me to talk / get annoyed, and he'd know I can still listen to him - in fact I could hear him talk about his hyperfixation for hours (>ω<✧) ❣

He'd bark at people that try to push me around / get snappy at me because they think that someone being non-verbal gives them the authorization to lash out their frustration at said person. He'd probably bite too at some point x3

(He has the personnality of an overprotective enraged chihuahua with the bite of a crocodile hxhhfcy 🥺)

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✧･ Actually I headcanon that he too can be non verbal. For him it can be triggered by withdrawals / depression / overstimulation, but it also can happen when he's feeling comfy and at peace ; he doesn't feel the need to "mask" by forcing himself to talk.

Finding the words to describe & express his emotions can be a chore, so he's glad he doesn't *have* to do it with me like he does with a lot of people.

✧･ The other people he's comfortable being non-verbal with are his brothers :3 - even Donatello ! Turns out Ungalo's big brother likes to and pretend to be a jerk, but he's also very protective of his bros and feels very proud that they can count on him (don't tell him it's not just pride, it's also out of love cause he'll Underworld you - he's such a tsundere)

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More explanations / headcanons on Ungalo being semi non-verbal :

✧･ For him the words often don't form "correctly" in his mind. Sometimes it goes entirely blank - he doesn't know *what* word describe how he feels, or he can't find the words. In theory he *knows* the words, but as soon as he has to speak it becomes a struggle. He sometimes needs a lot of time to 1) analyse the situation / how he feels 2) find the right words. It's one of the reasons why he loves writing so much - words come more easily, and the whole process of writing offers him more time to think about what he's going to say.

✧･ Sometimes the words that come into his mind won't describe his feelings properly, but they escape too quickly because there is no filter between his mind and his mouth when he *has* to talk. It even goes as far as making him say the contrary of what he's feeling. It's like trying to pass and filter a rushing river through a minuscule faucet.

✧･ Those two situations / reactions might seem very different, but concerning Ungalo they both are a facet of the same coin.

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✧･ Ungalo venting about being semi-non verbal and "people sucking" (+ him talking about Donatello & being proud :3) :

"It's frustrating as fuck, people want me to find shit to say... And then they get pissed at me when it's not perfect enough ??? Motherfucker, I DIDN'T want to talk in the first place ! I only said something cause you made me feel bad for not speaking.

And when I'm still not talking they think I'm mad at them so they try to start shit and ficking interrogate me ??? It's like... Fuck, you're not my parole officer, I don't owe ya any explanations. I was just vibbin ! But NOW I'm mad because of you, you stupid shit !!!

God dammit, this is why I don't like people. Hanging around them suck. Well except you babe. Err... And my siblings too I guess - even Donatello.

He's kind of a a jerk but at least he *gets me*, ya know ? Heh, maybe we get eachother really well cause we're both jerks. Also I know he's doing an effort to be less of a jerk to me Riki & Giogio, cause he loves us. It doesn't come easy for him but he really tries to be nice y'know, and I dunno if it's really workin for now, but at least he's trying and I'm so fucking proud of him.

...

Huh... Anyway please don't tell him I said that, cause he's going to kick my butt and I don't want to be burried alive or be stuck in a plane crash or some shit"

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✧･ Usually during those moments we just cuddle and kiss in a bundle of comfy blanket. And we eat sweets while watching cartoons - I like chocolate and Ungalo loves those acid sugary candies that make the mouth feel like it's melting. Ungalo becomes so much more cuddlier, he gets clingy like a little pup.

✧･ Of course I'm beyond happy to provide all the cuddles he needs. Having a sappy Ungs follow me around is definitely a not a bad experience (◕‿◡✧) ~ ❤️✨.

Coincidentally (/s) , I also happen to make a lot more hot chocolate - which he *loves* - when he follows me to the kitchen.

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✧･ I'm the same as him, when I'm non-verbal I express my affection a lot more physically. But I also get shy out of nowhere, and a lot of things overwhelm me more easilly. It's alright though, Ungalo is patient when it comes to it.

We're holding hands a lot more, and I love to bury my head into the crook of his neck and just... Breathe in (>///<✧) while we chill together. Objectively he doesn't often always smell good, but I like it because it's *his* smell ; it's a huge source of comfort to me (◡‿◡✧) ❣ ✨

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✧･ There are many love languages other than spoken words ; none of the affection we have for eachother will ever be left unexpressed 🥺❤️✨

#tw : ableism mention #tw : withdrawal & drug mention #ungalo f/o #trauma response #autistic burnout #non verbal #actually autistic #jjba headcanons #selfshipping #ungalo #donatello versus

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troglobite · 2 years

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really hoping for the day that people can separate “they remind me of [any person who did a bad thing to me, for a long time or just once or a few times]” from “they remind me of that person and therefore they are exactly like that person/as bad as that person”

sometimes i remind myself of my dad. and as much as i freak out about it in therapy, i am not like him. i am not him.

i’ve had friends say/do things that remind me of things said to me by bullies. that is not what they meant, though. and if it was the content of what they said, then i can have a conversation about that.

seeing a random person you do not know personally and feeling as if they are acting like someone who hurt you does not mean they are like the person who hurt you. it means that you are seeing similarities and, reasonably, being triggered.

like idk man. can we all be responsible for the emotional reactions we have, learn to process and feel things, and then evaluate whether that has any bearing on reality?

i’m fucking tired, man.

like here’s another one.

my former friends would get so tense and upset literally any time that i expressed any kind of anger.

i wasn’t yelling, throwing things, threatening them, insulting them, or anything of the sort.

i was just mad. and expressing it verbally, or talking about the thing that made me mad.

their response was to act as though i was being a violent, abusive, hateful person whose only mode was Violent and Angry.

why? bc ppl in their lives did shitty things when angry and used anger as an excuse to do shitty things.

meanwhile, hi, i’m making stupid jokes and verbally processing my emotions and hoping for emotional support from my friends in the form of “wow that fucking sucks! i’d be upset too!”

something i explicitly noted & asked for

but they simply could not move past

“i am reacting to this thing the same way i react to this other thing. the things must be the same, then!”

instead of, y’know, considering maybe it was a fucking trauma response.

they never told me if it was something i was doing or just the fact that i Experienced Anger around them. if the former, i could’ve worked with them. if the later--well, bro, anger is a normal part of life. sounds like you gotta work through that in therapy. sorry. i’m not going to change who i am and how i feel things just because of that. but now i know i can’t take a huge portion of my emotions or conversations to you (at least not without like, therapy/acknowledgement/awareness/conversation on your end) which is a bummer, since we’re friends.

anyway i guess that’s my fucking point.

i have encountered plenty of people who remind me of people who’ve hurt me in my life. even if they behave in similar ways, i save my judgment until after i get to know them personally. are they actually hurting me? are they being cruel to me? are they a judgmental person who holds bigoted beliefs? no? then they’re not the people who hurt me.

even if the answer to the above was “yes”, they are still not the people who hurt me.

also emphasizing that having an emotional reaction to being triggered by someone’s behavior, mannerisms, or appearance--yeah man! it happens! trauma sucks! that’s totally normal and fine!

making it that person’s problem is not fine.

you cannot put something on someone when they had nothing to do with it. and you cannot always evaluate a situation they’re in if you’re still stuck in being triggered.

triggered =/= ~can’t be trusted bc Emotions~

but it means that your sense of logic and evaluation is going to be warped or colored by the mindset you’re in. also speaking from experience here, folks!!! hi, this happens to me, too!!!

i’m not trying to be judgy or mean. this kind of thing just frustrates me beyond belief, bc i’ve had it directed at me--and as someone who has, no less than 100 times in therapy, been like “i don’t wanna be like my dad! i’m so scared i’m like him!!!”, it fucking sucks. to be treated. as though you’re the person who hurt the one you’re talking to, instead of who you are, which is someone else entirely who has done literally nothing to deserve this treatment.

sometimes it happens in the moment and the processing hasn’t happened yet. life is life, it happens, no sweat.

doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or anything.

i just wish we had more room for neutrality and nuance and also most importantly self-fucking-reflection

i’m tired.

i need to stop this i’m staying up late again typing a pointless angry post that no one is going to give a single shit about FUCK.

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kunimikat · 3 years

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How they act after you break up with them.

(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-

Is more out of it then usual.

The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.

He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better

Starts comparing himself to other guys more often

Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.

Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.

Sometimes takes it out on his friends

“Hey Deku!-“

“Not right now Uraraka.”

“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“

“Can you not right now Kacchan?”

“HAAH?-“

“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”

“Maybe later Iida...”

Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people

He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.

He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.

It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-

There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.

Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.

You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.

You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.

You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight

You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.

Basically a crying festival for an hour.

“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.

After you start dating again:

Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.

Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)

Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.

!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.

(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.

(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.

And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.

Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“I...I understand, but why?”

Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away

It takes everything in you to not breakdown

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.

“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“

“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”

You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.

You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.

Midoriya was even worse then before,

It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep

He barely responded to anything anyone said

Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point

Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.

It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it

Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time

Quieter then usual

Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing

During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk

Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off

Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up

When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”

His grades slightly dropped

He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual

When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go

A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)

No one knew what to do at this point

It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons

He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted

Everyone was surprised to say the most

You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office

You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges

She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him

“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.

You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.

After you start dating again:

Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)

Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,

You guys cook something together when you have a movie night

Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions

Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)

Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well

Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you

Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)

You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained

Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff

He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying

You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”

He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out

Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making

“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”

“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”

“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“

Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.

“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.

For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to

His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing

Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him

Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face

They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him

After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did

You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit

Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media

Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.

He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.

So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.

Why did you look so hurt?

Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had

But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him

More emotional

A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time

All he mostly eats is soba

He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty

Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...

Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)

He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:

“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?

Midoryia is just like:

(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)

“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”

That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,

One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class

He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite

You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression

“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.

You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.

After you start Dating again:

Todoroki was much more observant

He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-

Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card

Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips

You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words

He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset

He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)

You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back

When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair

You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them

Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you

And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)

Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain

Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled

Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him

He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock

“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”

“SHUT UP BAKUGO”

“HAAAH?”

Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”

You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face

But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him

Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it

Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.

“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”

You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”

You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.

It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation

He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music

He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown

Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone

He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse

He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything

He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound

Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck

During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.

Is always with Midoryia at some given time,

He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort

When he some time passed he eventually got over it

After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person

But he was happy if you were happy.

Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.

Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺

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ballorawan740 · 3 years

Text

SCP Scenarios: When their kids swear at them (REQUESTED)

Requested by: @Astro_KeySimp

WARNING: Swearing (sorta)

Ok so I kinda made the reader into the child since don't remember if you wanted the reader to be a child or not, so if it wasn't to your liking, then I'm sorry, but I can make a separate version on where the reader isn't the child

It kinda became more of the SCPs and doctors being dads than their reaction to their kids swearing

SCP 073 (Cain)

Cain was walking around with you since you were bored and there wasn't anything to do

Being unaware of what some of the staff were saying, ye went over to grab you some food for later in case you got hungry

Once you both went back, he watched you play with some Legos and was talking as if it was your Lego friends talking to you

Cain looked away for just 10 seconds and heard you shout out "Wow! He said that her baby's such a bi-" which shocked him as he heard it

Cain looked around and made sure that nobody was around the room and was somewhat surprised that you was the one saying this

Being a good dad he is, Cain explained to you carefuly that you shouldn't say that word because it's bad

And being a sweet shy child, you obliged and stopped saying the word

Til this day, Cain had no idea about where and who you've heard the word from and is very much more self-aware

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Abel is that type of dad who would teach you all the bad words and encourages you to say them

It's the researchers who had to teach you top not to say those words

One time, Dr Glass came in to examine you and had rewarded you as usual since you were so cooperative

You drew a picture of you and Abel talking in a garden with bright coloured flowers

Simon asked if he could see your drawing and saw that the conversation you and your dad had was those of swearing

This surprised Simon since you knew so many at such a young age but wasn't totally shocked since he knew that you were Abel's child

And knowing him, he wouldn't teach you to be nice, so Simon took the job as a mother hen and taught you to not use those words around people

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

Ok, so I'll keep this SCP short since I, again, don't know what I should write for this adorable, squicky, neon-orange, bubby blob

Another SCP who doesn't cuss

This adorable squishy boi here was about to have a heart attack when he heard you swear fir the first time

He had to ask you worryingly where you heard that phrase and you just said some guy wearing a white jacket

999 sighed knowing that you'll grow and couldn't do anything to stop it

He did, however, mention that you should try and avoid saying those things to anyone and that they'd most likely have a heart attack since you were his child and you won the genetic lottery for being the cutest and outgoing child in the world

The only other person who knew of this was Dr Glass (sucks to be him ngl, he do be a mother to everyone) and he had to help poor 999 with teaching you better words

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

YAY! Another SCP who would teach their kid to swear

682 has such a dirty mouth like 076 and would 100% teach you all the words he knows

Similarly to what happened with Abel, you were taken for an interview with Dr Sophia Light since she was assigned to you

She's such a sweet and kind doctor to be around and would teach you anything and everything you would probably need to know all the while keeping an eye on you in case you become overly aggressive like 682

You were just eating some sweets Lights had given you for good behaviour and overheard some researchers swear

Remembering what your dad had taught you, you just repeated those curse words while clapping at your achievement

This had shocked Sophia and that researcher since you were known to be a moderately shy and quiet child who normally wouldn't say those things despite being 682's child

Sophia had to ask if you understood the meaning of those words and shook your head as an indicator for no

She had to carefully find her words and told you to never speak of those words again and took you back to 682's cell

You went and hugged your dad and told him that you learnt from the doctor that those curse words were bad and neither of you should say them

682 had a headache after that

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

I have a hard time thinking that 049 would teach his child to cuss and would avoid swearing in front of them at all cost

Like, he barely swears anyways but he wants to stay classy and sassy for his innocent child

Just like the other day, his kiddo, you, was curious about the whole surgery thingy he does on the dead bodies, so you asked him to teach you and so he did (like the good father we nevah had)

So you learnt some new, yet difficult, words (cuz we all have a nonexistent pea-sized brain) and somehow, you managed to fit in a curse word

This did surprise 049 as he had remembered that he didn't teach you those foul words

He had to give you a talk about using such words and you teared up since you thought that people used them to express their affection to others

Unsurprisingly, 049 took his sweet time looking for the guy who 'taught' you this and wanted to use him as a case study for your future lessons

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Another parent with such an amazing influence on children

035 would teach and enable you to use swearing as a form of expression

So you were free to say whatever you want as long as they aren't directed to our mask here, especially if it's in a negative way

Otherwise, you'd be punished (No not like that! He'll just ground you from your favourite TV show/movie)

The researchers were surprised, not about you swearing, but how you use them through expression

Except for this poor guy who was new to the foundation and bumped into you by accident

This rookie found himself listening to you cursing like a sailor (maybe not that much but more or less on the same level as Samuel L Jackson)

Word got out and everybody laughed at the poor rookie and told him more about your background and how you love to swear (apparently swearing will prolong your life, so you'll basically be immortal here)

035 was impressed by the whole ordeal and rewarded you with more shows to watch whenever you're both free

SCP 105 (Iris)

Iris would accidentally swear in front of you and whenever she realises it, she would tell you to not swear at people since it wasn't very nice

So she would use words to replace the swearing like "oh fudging hell not now" and "no sugar honey ice tea"

The foundation felt that it was slightly unnecessary but went with it anyways

They'd even go as far as saying that it's ridiculous, but who are they to judge?

Iris was your mother and she's a single mum too, so she felt the need to be overly beating but would occasionally let you decide on your own since you were only 12

The foundation members did tell her that you will eventually grow and more of these words will be used but she just hesitates

As a teen, you did begin to use foul words more often and Iris would argue about how you're using them, especially towards her, your own mother

Needless to say, you both felt bad and made up

SCP 106 (Old Man)

Now this old man right here doesn't exactly speak, or at least very rarely

And if he does, he'll most likely be talking to you or the foundation staff if he needed some help finding you

He'll most likely be able to understand what the researchers are saying, even if they aren't speaking English

My own personal hc is that 106 understands English, German, Spanish, French, Chinese, Arabic and Indonesian and probably many others

Every now and again, somebody would come in and teach you new words and give other lessons like maths and poetry (our favourite)

You came back home to tell him all the things you've learnt as he watched you in awe as he braided your hair

You've even used some new phrases, including swear words while talking and 106 was pretty impressed

I feel that he's quite neutral with swear words since words are words and are used as a form of verbal communication

So I don't think they'll be much change in his behaviour to whether you're swearing or not

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

Now with 096, all he does is scream

So basically, somebody else would have to teach you some words

It's not to say that 096 is a dumb animalistic creature with no soul and just kills people who look at his face

He isn't stupid since he manages to find anyone who looked at his face from the other side of the globe

And he seems to understand what the researchers are saying, or at least on a more intermediate to moderate level

You'll learn about swear words from the other researchers, whether they'll be teaching it to you intentionally or you've overheard them

The foundation could really care less, but would at least prefer that you chill a bit if you got carried away

096 would act all cheery when you learn more new things as it's not like the foundation would let him out anyway, so he'll be living the outside world life from you (How relatable, but more with babysitting and dating, cuz I'm too pretty for anyone to date XD)

Like with 106, I don't think 096 would have any special reaction towards swearing, but would probably be screaming internally for a bit since he knows that it isn't a nice word

Dr Jack bright

This mf right here is one of those parents who would be kind but firm

Bright would most definitely give in to your curiosity and teach you whatever you want to learn but would warn you of the dangers

Depending on what it is, he would even go as far as giving you your own personal guard who would stay with you and train you

And unfortunately, this guard has such a foul mouth, so you're constantly exposed to such words

Luckily for the both of you, Jack Bright doesn't really care about swearing as long as you're not being extremely inappropriate if you were to work

He would even joke around with you sometimes and would even start the conversation with swearing

For instance, he'd just surprise you with a "Yeet his mf outta my sheithole"

And yes, you did laugh at his antics

Some would even say that you're an exact clone of him but more stable (for now)

Well, Bright is an amazing dad, but I'd say just below Dr Glass

Or maybe even on par with him

Like Bright is a goofy dad that has all the terrible dad jokes and Glass would be the type of dad to look out for his kid

Dr Simon Glass

Dr Glass would most definitely avoid using swear words, especially if you were under 15

Even if you were over 15, he'd still avoid swearing unless he wants to make a joke or 2

So most of the time, you'd learn all the swearing from other people and SCPs

Sometimes you would swear by accident and Glass would just look at you, slightly disappointed

I'd say he doesn't exactly care about you swearing per see, but would rather you avoid it

It's cuz Simon is the best dad a dad could ever dad and nobody could prove me wrong here

He's also one of the top best dads compared to the others on the list

He's basically your best friend so he'd let you vent and its the 1 time he'd let you swear to show your emotions

Simon would 100% know your thoughts and behaviour

He's just that good at reading people, especially you - almost to the point where people would say he's an SCP cuz I swear he's just empathic and telepathic

As mentioned before, Glass would be the type of dad to care for your mental health

It's not that the others don't, it's just that Glass is a top their God of Psychology and would come to you before you even know you have depression

He would even crack a joke sometimes

So every so often, he would shout out "LANGUAGE!!!" from across the room before you could even bat an eye and say anything

Dr Alto Clef

Another top tier dad, but swearing addition

Your godfather would literally be Jack Bright

Then it's Kondraki and Glass

He would let you swear on a daily basis and would join you

Sometimes you be looking at your Oppas/Noonas and be like: "Oh fxxk me!" and Clef, who's in the next room, be like: "Yeah, fxxk me too!" (Yes but no sis! No incest pls!)

Other times, you would be in the same room as Clef and Bright and you'd join them in being chaotic

And poor Kondraki is just there at the back trying to do his work peacefully

One time, Kondraki had to grab a Simon Glass to help stop the chaotic trio

And OML did it end so well

You were easy to manage tbh, with the exception of you swearing

Clef and Bright would most definitely encourage you to swear more

Especially Clef since he does have a twisted sense of humour

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki is totally the type of person who would tell their kid to mind their own language

But he secretly doesn't care and his child knows it

His style of parenting is similar to Simon's

And yes, Simon is your #1 godfather/uncle

You'd go to him for emotional support since Kondraki sucks at that

Sometimes you'd swear at him and he'd get mad though

So yeah, running to Glass is a wonderful idea

And we all know that Kondraki doesn't mean what he said

He's just extremely introverted, but he's rather sensible - Usually...

Anyways, he would ask Simon on tips and advice on how to get you to stop swearing so much and he just gave Benjamin a parenting book (Like fr guys, let Glass have some rest, he's tired of babysitting over 100 dozens of pets in the zoo and all the other babies who work in it)

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nari-nim · 3 years

Text

yeosang as your boyfriend

nari note: kicking off the bf series with this king. who do you want to see next? creds for gif goes to @holy-yeosang

Let’s be honest, you might have to make the first move with him

But it’s worth it because yeosang is actually such boyfriend material

He takes comfort in established familiarity and warm-heartedness, so likes taking things slow and understanding your personality more than anything

Shy boi at first even as y’all are dating

It can take a long time to reach the point he’s super comfortable.

But please be patient with him because he really has super intense and strong feelings for you

Super playful and chaotic once he feels max comfortable around you!!

Type to be quiet around others but then rambles nonstop with you. Would be so funny too, he has so many hot takes he was holding in

Can be unpredictable, but not in a bad way!

More like he just stares at you in such a straight face until you get slightly worried, but he just feeds you three pocky sticks, kisses your lips as you are munching in confusion, and then leaves

Also please he’s so funny??? Like it’s not the type of humor like Wooyoung who just is so loud and makes everyone laugh, but the type where he makes such snarky or intellectual jabs at the situation/those around him

So it just ends up with the two of your snickering on the side

So many inside jokes

So much laughter, always

Definitely the type to tease you as his form of flirting

Enjoys personal attention and lots of eye contact when talking about literally anything that comes to mind

Really likes just sitting with you somewhere cozy and talking about life for hours and hours on end

Once he’s comfortable, he’s actually so adorably expressive and unafraid to return PDA

While he may struggle with emotional expression at times, physical affection can stand in loving words for him

While not as touchy as San or Wooyoung, he isn’t afraid to have the two of you be in your own world

Sits close to you at any given opportunity and quietly takes care of you

Like offering you snacks first, moves your hair behind your ears, urges you to wrap you arms around his, gives you his jacket

He’s the type to love you quietly

Actions speak louder than words, and his actions are so incredibly thoughtful and attentive

For example, he may not be tripping over himself to tell you just how much he loves you 24/7 but he never fails to open soft drinks for you after the one time your nail broke in front of him when you tried to pry the metal tab open, he literally ignores the group chat but makes sure he bids you good morning and good night because he’s seen how happy they make you feel, etc

Ok but he is so kind even if he rarely voices it. You can absolutely count on him to be there for emotional and practical support whenever it’s needed.

Very trusting in the relationship

He is really understanding of you having friends/a life outside of him so he’s less likely to get jealous

Really rational in disagreements

Sometimes it can get hard to read his expressions, so it’s important you both learn to communicate a lot to keep the relationship healthy! He’s actually really good at voicing his thoughts and opinions well once he has the space to do so

Values reciprocation

Will do aegyo to make you blush or sway things in his favor. And then will proceed to hide his face immediately after

please he is Adorable

You’re his hype man. He will also then get super shy, but loves every single second of it. Secretly wants you to hype him up nonstop

I think he secretly really enjoys words of affirmation as his primary love language (receiving).

Compliments can be a little rare from him, so when he does compliment you, you know he really means it!!

And he will roast you

Sometimes, he has his fun by occasionally starting some verbal sparring followed by intense making up.

Like he’ll choose a topic and say something so wild about it just to see your expression. Pushes your buttons a little before either one of you has to shut the other up through a make out session or a bet

Just very trustworthy, loyal, loving and faithful as a whole uwu

NSFW after this

With that being said, he’s a switch

I don’t see power play being as big of deal for him tbh, he likes to go with the flow with what you both feel like during the moment

literally his preference to dom or sub may actually depend on you and the dynamic of the relationship

when he’s dom, he’s soft or hard depending on the mood as well

but ngl I’m leaning on that hard dom agenda

Sex with him can start out a bit vanilla at first

He’s so careful and wants you to be comfy :’)

But give it a few rounds and lots of communication, his kinky ass will take over

Takes a lot of joy in pleasing you, and can take this to an extreme where he just wants to watch you cum again and again and again from his touch

Um can be a bit of a sadist

Type to ask you if it hurts while overstimulating you and says “good” when you moan in affirmation

Secretly has a thing to see you cry

Also really likes edging

He likes driving you so desperate to the point you’re begging him to let you cum

As you’re reaching and moaning for him he’ll say in a teasing tone “oh really, what do you want? You want my cock? Hm? Is that it?”

Just to hear your pleady whines

That mocking tone will send shivers down anyone’s spine

Oh My God you cannot tell me he won’t have a degradation kink (giving)

Also the type to be like “use your words” while he’s going down on you and then proceed to suck your clit extra hard, making you unable to form coherent sounds through your loud moans. It then becomes his excuse to edge you for yet another round because you didn’t use your words, did you?

Whew, anyways

Grab onto his biceps while he rails into you and notice how they flex underneath you as he starts pounding harder in response

Likes to show off his gains by pushing you up against a wall

Also likes it when you top him

Likes hearing you really vocal, even though he’s more on the quieter side when he isn’t dirty talking

Usually just groans when hitting an extra sensitive spot or when you give a particularly good blowjob that day

Likes having you go down on him as foreplay, but prefers penetration as an end goal

Into the classic missionary and launchpad positions so he can see your expression clearly as he overstimulates/edges you

Likes seeing you look up at him through those teary eyes <3

But also very into doggy style

Likes fucking you into the sheets in general, so any position adjacent to that is on his favorites list

um his fingering game is so strong

In the mornings, likes slowly fucking you from behind while spooning you so he can also grab onto your tits or play with your clit

His end goal always is to make you feel so fucking good, it just manifests differently than service tops like Seonghwa or Yunho

Very private about your sex life and not into public sex at all

Possessive in that way. Only he can touch you like that, see you like that, hear your moans like that, etc

Likes hearing you confirm that

“Only I can make you scream like this”

“Who fucks you this good, huh?”

“C’mon, say it louder.”

Has one hell of a degradation kink (giving) me thinks

Likes it when you talk back, lowkey likes brat taming when he’s in a dom mood

But does like teasing you in public and keeping it like that until you both find a bedroom, gets off on the idea of you both having to hide your neediness in public

Very little people expect that from just seeing you both together in regular settings

But little do they know despite the two of you innocently sitting together eating brunch with the team, leaving a few inches for jesus, y’all just had the freakiest sex before getting there. Like you’re literally shifting around in your seat as the soreness kicks in, and Yeosang is smirking ever so slightly at your discomfort

Will rest a heavy head on your upper thigh for a few seconds, brushing his pinky finger against your clothed clit through the thin fabric of your outfit, as he reaches for the bread basket

Likes hearing that little gasp leaving your lips

Knows he’s leaving you very frustrated and will use that to his advantage later

The whole time, he has the most innocent, fair expression on his face

when he’s a sub tho?

similar vibes. wants you to feel good.

Still wants to dirty talk, but it’s far more subservient now

one quick way to get him into subspace

if you push him far enough, then he’s so pouty and clingy and fucking cute

It’s so rare to see him like this but always such a treat

favorite positions is to have you ride him and he’ll play with your tits

or he’s still fucking you into the sheets but you are 100% in control

Just imagine him all whiny and teary as he fucks into you, begging you to let him cum as your clench your walls purposely around him, making him yelp as he tries to still his shaking thighs to wait for your signal

actually can be quite obedient as a sub

truly will do his best to be your good boy

Anyways, aftercare is pretty good with him. He’s very caring and gentle and checks in a lot with you (he better, usually he fucks quite a few rounds out of you)

If he’s fucked out tho, make sure he is also taken care of! As a sub, he follows your orders so well so he’ll probably fall asleep so fast after intensely cumming for the nth time

At the very least wipes you both down clean with a warm washcloth and kisses you to sleep

Likes spooning you at the end :’)

give him his cuddles </3

masterlist

#ateez #ateez yeosang #yeosang #yeosang smut #ateez yeosang smut #ateez yeosang imagines #ateez yeosang fluff #kang yeosang #ateez yeosang scenarios #ateez yeosang headcanon #ateez headcanons #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez yeosang as your boyfriend #yeosang fluff #yeosang headcanon #kang yeosang smut #yeosang imagines #yeosang headcanons

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lavenderfluorite14 · 3 years

Text

Such Sweet Delirium

Reiji Sakamaki x Fem!Reader

Summary: Laito Intrudes on an experiment gone wrong. Reiji loses his cool.

Explicit, 18+ |TW: Dubious Consent/Non-Con, Drugged Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Slut Shaming, Blood Sucking, Ownership Kink, Female Reader, Breast Worship, Hickeys, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Begging, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Possessive Reiji, Light Edging, Canon Typical Reiji Cruelty, I couldn’t just write porn I had to write a character study too lol, Slight Laito x Reader, Tagging non-con for the consent issues surrounding drugged sex, Reader is conscious and responsive but very high

Word Count: 2331

A/N: Please be mindful of the tags! This is the most explicit thing that I have ever written lmaoooo 🥂

Read it on AO3!

Reiji’s lab spun in a nauseating carousel of color. The last thing you remembered was drinking a beautiful, shimmering liquid that Reiji said he had brewed himself. It fizzed all the way down your throat, an insistent warmth quickly spreading throughout your body. Now sprawled across his sofa, you surrendered to dizzying oblivion. Somewhere above you, Reiji scribbled furiously in a black notebook, tutting irritably.

“Tell me what you are feeling. Be specific.” You swallowed thickly at the order, begging your tongue to move.

“The…...the room…..the room is-”

“Spit it out, I don’t have all day.”

“S-spinning. The room….is spinning” you slurred.

“How fast?”

“Fast.”

“I said how fast?”

“I….I can’t….”

Reiji tsked angrily, snapping his notebook shut. Flinching, you tried to turn away from his sharp gaze but a cold hand pinned you flat against the couch. Your delayed reaction time was no match for his vampiric strength.

“I can feel your heart racing from here,” he said, curling over you, pinning your wrists above your head. “Had I known you were such weak prey I would have given you a smaller dose. It isn’t as fun when you can’t fight back.” You wriggled underneath him, jerking weakly against his cruel grip. Reiji laughed, amused at your feeble attempts to escape.

“Although, I don’t hate this delirious expression,” he murmured, lowering his face towards yours. You squeezed your eyes shut, overwhelmed by his hungry stare. “I suppose this isn’t bad every once and a while.” His rich baritone rumbled in your ear, his proximity making you tremble.

“I didn’t think I’d interrupt this so soon,” interrupted a dark chuckle. Laito lounged against the doorframe of the lab, eyeing your entwined forms. “You must really like this one, Reiji,” he teased. Reiji’s iron grip tightened around your wrists and you whimpered pitifully. “It’s rude to enter someone’s room without knocking,” Reiji spat imperiously. “I knocked, but you didn’t answer!” Laito insisted, his eyes glinting with mirth. “But now I can see you were a bit distracted.” You lolled your head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of the intruder. Laito’s smirk widened.

“Christ, what did you do to her?”

“Such language is atrocious. You shouldn’t speak that way.”

“You fucked up the dosage, didn’t you?” Reiji shot up quickly at the accusation, swiping his notebook from the couch as he crossed briskly back towards his desk. Laito’s smirk cracked into a grin.

“Do you need something, Laito?” Reiji asked coolly. As Reiji began tidying his work space, Laito sauntered over to the couch, his green gaze boring into you. Crouching down, he gently brushed his fingers across your cheek. You shivered under his cold touch. “I came for the aphrodisiac you promised me,” Laito said, trailing his fingers down your neck. He stopped to trace the hollow of your throat, caressing it with his thumb. “But if you don’t have it, I’m sure there are other ways we can pass the time inst-”

“Of course I have it,” Reiji scoffed. Plucking a vial of blue liquid from his stores, he crossed the room and offered it to Laito. “Now please take it and leave.” Reiji’s words hung in the air like frost. Laito rose languidly, like a cobra rearing back to strike, then swiped the vial from Reiji’s gloved hand.

“Maybe next time, Bitch-Chan,” Laito said, winking at you. “And Reiji,” Laito called, pivoting in the doorframe for one last jab. “I know it can be hard to control yourself, especially this close to a full moon, but try not to tear this one up like the last one, ok? You should save some for the rest of us.”

“Get out!” Reiji snarled, storming across the room. Laito darted off, disappearing as quickly as he had come. Reiji slammed the door behind him.

The ceiling swam before you in lethargic swirls of periwinkle. You had no idea what Laito meant, but you could feel Reiji fuming in the doorway. What was he talking about? Reiji never lost his cool. You couldn’t imagine him doing something like that. “You let him touch you,” Reiji seethed.

“Reiji, I...I didn’t….I didn't want-”

“Please be silent.Your behavior today has been dreadful.” Reiji prowled towards the couch, his long shadow casting a dark pall across your face. You closed your eyes, terrified to meet his furious eyes. “You couldn't do a thing?” He queried, towering above you. “You couldn’t cry out? Or swat him away?” His voice was ice.

“I…..I froze….”

“I suppose that’s to be expected from a woman like you,”

“I’m so-sorry,”

“How should I punish my little harlot?” Finally bending down towards you, Reiji cupped your face firmly with his gloved hand. “Your pupils are still so dilated. I doubt you’d feel my whip at all.” The thought made you shiver, and not completely out of fear. Reiji thumbed your lip idly as he thought.

“Suck….my blood?” He tsked at your suggestion.

“You ask for it so brazenly, sometimes I think you enjoy it. Hands up.” You heaved your arms up over your head as Reiji smoothly rolled your top up your body, tossing it aside once it was completely off.

“I suppose it’s my fault. I’ve been too lax with you,” he mused, settling firmly on top of you. You were particularly aware of his pelvis, pressing insistently against the cradle of your thighs. He cupped your face, drawing you close. “I need to teach you exactly who you belong to,” he said, his gaze drifting down hungrily to the column of your neck. “I’ll remind you so thoroughly of your place that even a dumb whore like you will be able to remember who owns her,” he promised, sinking his teeth viciously into your throat.

Reiji’s first bite was hard and precise, the sharp pain briefly thrusting you into lucid panic. But soon you were left with the warm afterglow of pleasure in the wake of its pain. It never stopped hurting, not entirely, but his bites always left you with a fluttering warmth. Reiji’s mouth was on you. You couldn’t help but enjoy it.

Reiji began a fast, desperate rhythm that pulled blood from you quickly, sending you reeling. You whimpered as your world whirled impossibly faster. When darkness began to flicker at the edges of your vision Reiji pulled away, burying his face into your neck. “You bring out the worst in me,” he sighed. Mouthing along your throat, he continued downward towards your collarbone. You braced yourself for another bite, but recoiled sharply when Reiji placed a delicate kiss upon your chest.

“Look at me, jealous of that pervert.” He kissed your chest again, skimming his fingers across the delicate skin of your décolletage. “Arch your back.” Curving your spine upwards, your body brushed against Reiji’s lean frame. You trembled as his hands ghosted along your back, making their way towards the clasp of your bra. Reiji unhooked it with quick ease then tossed the lacy fabric away, greedily cupping your naked breasts. A thin, breathy gasp escaped from you as Reiji dipped between them, kissing your soft curves. You tangled your hands in his hair, humming your approval. In response he tweaked your nipple harshly, sending a jolt of pain through your cloud of pleasure. You yelped at the enticing contrast.

“Let me remind you of your place. You are nothing more than food to me,” he said, pinching your nipple again with a renewed vengeance. You drunkenly brought your hands back to push him away, but he easily pinned them back above your head. “You are meat. Your blood is the only worthwhile thing about you.” Reiji sunk his teeth into the swell of your breast, drawing deep from you. Crying out, you tried to ignore the pleasure his bite ignited in you, trying to focus only on the pain.

“I can taste your arousal,” he groaned between mouthfuls. “Does your masochism know no bounds?” Reiji’s insults didn’t last as he dove back down again to litter your chest with angry bites. He’d kiss you, so tenderly it was almost painful, then pierce your sensitive skin with his sharp, pointed fangs. Once satisfied, he’d lick, suck and kiss the abused spot until an angry mark began to form. He left bruises everywhere in his wake, a garden of purple hickeys blossoming across your breasts.

The drug made it nearly impossible to meaningfully fight back but you didn’t really want to. Reiji’s words stung, but you so rarely had his attention like this. Was it because the full moon was close? You knew vampires had trouble controlling their urges when the moon was full. And Reiji so desperately wanted control: of his brothers, of you, of himself. Was this frenzied beast the real Reiji, or was his protesting, rigid persona the real him? Impossibly, you knew he had to be both. Both enraptured and repulsed by his own desires and completely unable to hide it. That was really why he was mad. Reiji’s wet tongue interrupted your musings as he lapped against your sore nipple, sending a shudder through your entire body. Unable to remove your wrists from his grasp, you retaliated by wrapping your legs around his hips, trapping him against you. Now it was Reiji’s turn to shudder, rutting himself against your core. He was hard.

“My, you really are out of it,” he murmured, grinding himself against you openly. “It’s the only explanation.”

“Explanation for what?” You panted, trying to match his thrusts. Reiji released your wrists, propping himself up on his left arm. Delicately biting the fabric across the tip of his pointer finger, he slid his glove from his hand. Ripping it away, Reiji’s bare hand skimmed down your body and over your curves. Flipping up your skirt, his fingers slid between your thighs.

“For this,” he says, tracing your wetness through your panties. Your eyes fluttered shut. “Reiji,” you breathed, arching towards his fingers.

“Say my name,” Reiji ordered softly, dipping underneath the fabric and rewarding you with long, firm strokes. You called his name again and he moved up towards your clit, circling it once before quickly pulling away. You whined at the loss.

Reiji begins a vicious rhythm, rubbing your clit with firm circles, then backing off when your pleasure mounts. He only returns to your clit when you beg him to, crying out for him. Fisting your hands in his shirt, you whine in frustration as a needy ache builds inside you. Reiji just smirks down at you, enjoying your torment. When tears start building in your eyes, he finally slides a slender finger into your heat. Beckoning upward along your inner wall, he firmly massages your g spot. Mindlessly, you grind down on his fingers, chasing your pleasure.

“Who makes you feel this good?” he asks, his ruby eyes alight with lust.

“You do,” you gasp.

“I asked you who,” he demanded, cruelly massaging your inner wall. You jerk at the pressure, almost cresting over the plateau.

“Reiji! Reiji Sakamaki!” you cry, desperate for release.

“Good girl,” he smirks, thumbing your clit. You gasp in delight, the rough, consistent circles of his fingers finally hurtling you towards your peak. “You don’t deserve this,” he growls in your ear, his deep velvety voice bewitching you. “But when I see you like this, I can’t stop myself. You’re mine.” Your orgasm hits you hard, squeezing Reiji’s fingers in hot contractions. Pleasure washes over you in a wave, your entire being gently pulsing. Reiji smugly guides you through your orgasm, only stopping his ministrations once your twitching has ceased. You sigh, melting back into the cushions of the couch. Above you, a belt buckle clinks.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Reiji says, gripping your thighs and yanking you forcefully back towards him. As he settles above you, he presses the tip of his member against your eager entrance. Pushing forward, Reiji sinks into you with ease. “My little harlot is so wet for me,” he teases, before setting a ruthless pace.

Reiji fucks you selfishly, chasing his own pleasure now that he’s satisfied yours. You lay back, still enjoying the lingering effects of his drug. His thrusts pull soft, pleasured moans from you as he plunges desperately into you. Closing your eyes, you revel in the sensations, happy to let him use you. Occasionally he’ll sheathe himself all the way inside of you and grind desperately against your cervix, trying to get as deep as he can.

“I can’t believe you like this. That you like me,” he pants softly, definitely to himself. Reiji lets you pull him down so that he is completely flush against your body. “I do. I like you, Reiji.” A groan rips from him and he stills, spilling himself inside of you.

You stay that way for a moment, holding each other tenderly in the afterglow of your love-making. You wish you could stay like this, enjoying the feeling of his body as it presses you into the cushions, gently stroking his back as both of your breathing returns to normal. But Reiji recovers faster than you do. “I’ll clean you up,” he offers, his tone clipped.

Reiji cleans you thoroughly with a warm wet towel, which feels strange but is not unenjoyable in your impaired state. It’s deeply intimate in a way that is definitely uncomfortable, but you think it’s his way of taking care of you. You close your eyes, pliant. His large hands drift over your body, tugging your top back over you and righting your skirt. Once he is finished you curl on your side, completely spent and ready to sleep. As you begin to drift off, you feel something warm and soft envelop you. A blanket? Maybe. Where did he get a blanket?

Reiji watches as you snuggle into the blanket he has recently taken to keeping in his desk, a genuine smile flickering across his stern features.

#reiji sakamaki #diabolik lovers #reiji x reader #Reiji Sakamaki x Reader #my little harlot #the night shift

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lazycheesecakeee · 3 years

Text

Stray kids as love languages

Ok so I started thinking and that’s never good and somehow this got CHUNKY AF :))) But I hope you enjoy reading my messy thoughts about skz expressing love :)

Bang Chan

Giving: Gifts/Words of affirmation

Yeah SO… we all know how he always seems to always give the closest people to him, like everything, including the moon and a fucking rocket to the moon as well, and build it too, that before he gets anything at all? He is definitely a giver. He buys food, drinks, anything.

Anything you would accomplish, no matter how small would be an excuse for him to go out and buy you a meal and while you are there, if you only happen to glance at something twice, you already have it? Yeah you might feel bad and try to pay or say “stop giving me things all the time” but he would not stop and he would buy you the thing and shower you with praises for how well you did, even if you think it is not such a big deal.

You have a normal day when nothing happened? You go to the store together, he pays. He comes to visit you randomly. On the way he buys a flower and a random chocolate or a drink because he remembers somehow that you said you wanted to try it like 3 months ago. And the list never ends. He has a good sense for what people want too. So if you are close to him he gives you EVERYTHING. Showers of praises and all of his fucking money :)))) BOY HAS NO LIMITS.

Receiving: words of affirmation

Listennnn, as much as he gives and never stops, like NEVER. (Take his credit card away lmaoooo), when you acknowledge his little appreciations and thank him sweetly or give him a hug to let him know you are grateful, he gets immense satisfaction. I feel like he is the one to give but if he feels like he is used in the slightest he definetly cuts the rope short real FUCKING FAST.

I feel like he def is SUCH a sucker for appreciation and words of affirmation AND COMPLIMETS. He wants to feel needed and like his efforts are worth it. And giving him the verbal queue that his efforts don’t go unnoticed, that despite his busy schedule you appreciate the time with him, that his hard work and struggles to be the best are worth it, that the nights in the studio are fruitful and he is doing a good job, THAT would really make his entire day and his anxieties dissipate. Let him know he is wanted. Poor baby someone give him a sleep schedule too and some melatonin :)))))

Lee Know/Minho

Giving: Acts of service

He def strikes as one weird cranky, moody, annoying bitch with his behaviour but if you pay closer attention he is actually so observant and thoughtful/caring. He seems like you would not want to go to him for things but I actually think that if you take the time and grow close to him he is one of the most caring and protective people tbh.

Like it’s in his nature to pay attention to what close ones are doing, their schedules, interests and habits. He is the kind of person to never purposefully say or make a fuss out of doing something but somehow he knows you need something or you want something. And he buys the thing and puts it in the fridge. Or changes the sheets because he feels you are too sad and unmotivated and that would be good. Or buys something definitely because “he wanted it” but gets more, and a side of the thing you like a lot, because “it was there”, definitely not because he thought of you and that it would bring you joy. Or he would like pick a prescription for you or refill your water bottle before leaving or tell you to bring band-aids because you complained those shoes hurt you. Or tell me this boy would not chop the onions for the pasta sauce so you don’t ruin your mascara (I am not sobbing you are). And he somehow fits himself in and things add up so well and your life is so much easier despite him claiming he „did nothing”.

Receiving: Words of affirmation

Although it doesn’t seem like it, something tells me it’s true. I read on an internet thing that people that seem cold and don’t want/seem to have the need for verbal affirmation and validation from strangers get actually more satisfaction from it than people who say it explicitly.

He also def strikes me like he was raised to be tough, to recover fast, to not be a cry baby and just get up and do the job, suck it up, be strong and independent. A little bit of trust issues into the mix as well ☹ You can actually kinda see a sort of anxious behaviour type of thing in him. So I feel like if you actually grow closer to him (ahem Jisung), acknowledging his efforts and how he makes your life easier, THAT would bring out the asshole being like “oh really? Hm interesting you think I do so much for you huh?” but he actually does thooo and you saying it would bring him like so much joy and make his heart happy.

Like each time you give him a compliment TM he would act like “yeah I know” or act disgusted but high key it soothes his spirit and ego when you say such things. He just loooves to hear how much you loved something he cooked or how attractive he was while dancing or how he was really thoughtful, and you appreciate it sm. He seems to have the nature to give, and he seems to expect to go unnoticed but when and if you do acknowledge his heart is actually swooning over it.

Changbin

Giving: Physical touch/Gifts

I think he would be the type to bring weird things to you for no reason along with 1000 kisses and a hug that is a bit too tight you know? Like his mind gets occupied with you if you are close.

And like he saw this weird card at the store or a little figurine or something which has a weird patters and he thought “Hm they must see this. They would like this strange ass thing I bought which was overpriced”. And when he gives you the thing you give like an odd smile and in your eyes is a „love you but wtf is this” and he would take your hands and look down and kiss them and say “I don’t know i thought you might like it?” And you would tease each other and he would start doing ayego and get really shy and just hug you again and place his head in your neck to avoid the eye contact, then lift you up and spin you and from there you have no chances of escaping the embrace TM.

Receiving: Physical touch

I feel like he would be a sucker for physical touch as your love language as well. If you reciprocate hugs, kisses and stuff. You know he seems like the kind to find comfort in holding you for no reason, like a hand on the knee or on your waist and if you two are comfy and give him little pets, stroke his hair, place your hand on his shoulder or biceps or take his hand with both yours or grab his middle randomly, he would swoon. Also you clinging to him and letting him cling to you I think is like thing he wishes for most tbh:) I feel like he feels safety and love by holding onto you and you onto him like he can protect you. He would like to know you trust him with that, ya know? Like he is a strong bitch ready to fight anyone coming at you and can protect you but is also your smol koala child which you can never escape.

Hyunjin

Giving: physical touch

Now this might seem weird to you BUT. He seems like he touches people out of nowhere sometimes and kinda clings. Not like all the time but enough. Like he likes being really close to you if he is close to you, you know?. He would be all up in your face with his weird ass mannerisms and humour but if they are reciprocated and he feels safe and good around you he naturally starts to cling if that makes sense? Like in a way a sort of telling others: “mine, you cannot have them before me” but also in the sense that you know he would do anything for you if you ask in those instances. Like YO, you have me, soul and body next to you, I am here :)))

Like he doesn’t seem like the type to buy things a lot (cheap ass I see you :)))) although he would sometimes) But he makes up by being there and encouraging you despite not knowing how to act or what to say all the time, he lets you know you can count on him and he is there. I feel like his touch expresses appreciation.

Receiving: words of affirmation/quality time

He strikes me as attention demanding lmao:)) OH I am yours pay attention to me I am your baby I require love and affection, undivided.

So if you make time to have lunch with him or have conversations before bed in peace (my dude seems like his thoughts overwhelm him all the time and honestly same :/ it’s kinda yikes tbh), or watch a movie/tv show, or just be in his presence when he is both excited or down, and listen to him rant and give him solutions or rant with him about random subjects and jumping around between them subjects, you would get all the uwus and he would probably be ready to dedicate his entire existence to your well being and desires.

He is just like that, a dramatic ass with overly changing emotions who wants a good connection, like a genuine one, where hours go by and someone truly understands him and things flow, ya know? (seems like the type to believe in fate type of love, which I find interesting)

Han Jisung

Giving: Physical touch/ Words of affirmation

He seems really touchyyyyy TM. But like in the way that shows physical affection because he seems a little insecure? That is kinda what he strikes me as. Like he wants to hold you. He wants to show you have him. He wants to be appreciated :( my child (and bias) help me I am sobbing:))) and he wants to make sure you know he appreciates you just as much.

Like he would hold your hand, hug you a lot or place random kisses and linger in those places? An he would compliment you and tell you your work is amazing and that he is proud and he would make lots of idiotic jokes to cheer you up, no matter the mood (we stan crackhead humour in this household) and he would tell you the most random shit he likes about you. Like “I like your socks” or “you changed your bag” or “the perfume is oddly floral just like your shirt and I like it”.

And he would make random short freestyle raps (kill me now I am in too deep) about you or a random thing you are doing. And he would just linger around you when you are busy and can’t give him attention. He wants to show trust and love through little gestures and trusts you to see them as a sign of his love because you make him happy and all.

Receiving: ALSO Physical touch/words of affirmation idk

I feel like he would like physical touch back? Like he would be fine if you didn’t like it, but like since he is like anxious and (to me) seems like a little overly aware of his “flaws and deficiencies”, he would like to know he has your “hold”. Like some sort of security type of thing.

Like small gestures, your hand on him, a little kiss, a hug, a squish :))), a little grip of reassurance and a nod of “you are doing good”. I think he would be a sucker for that. And also despite him lowkey rejecting your compliments like “yeah I know I am the best”, giving it to him would boost his self-esteem a lot, as I think he has many insecurities and quite a few complexes that are hard to express for him. So that, along with your touch and words to reassure him, he would love and get the idea that you want him close too, that he’s desired enough for you to seek his love, something like “you my dude are seen and loved for who you are”.

Felix

Giving: Giving gifts/Physical touch

He is defiantly a giver. He literally seems like he is so thoughtful and cares so much. Like we all know how his fellow members said he is great at gifts. Well duh. I feel like his gifts are not always big but like a small food or drink he brings because he knows you always love it, a flower he saw in the front of a flower shop he thought was pretty. Something you said you needed (or you didn’t say) but he knows you do need it because he just pays that much attention. A pendant necklace. A ring. A small ice-cream because the day is hot so why not. A donut that had flower sprinkles because you like to post aesthetic foods and so on. You name it. They would not be obnoxious, but it would sure show how much you are occupying his thoughts.

We also always know how he is attached to the hip to the people he is close to and he loves skinship. He said he loves back hugs, hugs, kisses he wants it all:)) So he gives plenty of cuddles for sure. You can never escape the octupus arms as you go to sleep each night, so might as well set up the air conditioning in your house as it’s about to get warm but affection and love above all, right? :)))))))

Receiving: Words of affirmation/Physical touch

I think he thrives if you return his little ministrations of affection. Does it matter? A hug, a kiss, holding him, a little massage, hand size comparison, throwing yourself on top of him on the couch or the bed at the end of the day. He LOVES it. You are also competing with Chan lol but no worries, he has plenty affections for all:))

Also I think he needs reassurance and a sense that people that are closest are proud of what he is doing(wipe your tears bitch). So I think acknowledging his hard work and the fact that he pulls through despite certain mental heath problems and telling him he does an amazing job and complementing his work would definitely mean a lot to him.

But give the boy your affection, A VerY tOucHy BoI. It makes his heart swell with joy knowing you pull him close and feel so much love for him that you don’t hold back from giving. Be an octopus with him tambien😊

Seungmin

Giving: Acts of service

Another one for acts of service. Our smol good boi which somehow does not seem smol at all because he exudes maturity and rationality lmao.

He would be such a servant if he loves you. AND YOU WOULD NOT EVEN NOTICE at first. Like I feel like he does stuff in a way similar to Minho where he makes sure your life is as easy as can be. Like puts your shoes out of the way, checks the weather so you don’t leave dressed inappropriately (forces you to take the puffier jacket despite it not going with your outfit, because “do you want to catch a cold, hm?”), gives you an umbrella. Fixes a random necklace which you broke by accident because he knows it will sit there for like 3 years if it’s in your care, and you like the necklace 😊. Makes sure you eat something healthy too(would definitely bring you washed and cut-up fruits after going out to eat at mcdonalds). And he for sure does not expect you to really notice, but if you do he is getting flustered and runs out the room with a big smile😊 what a baby tm.

Receiving: Acts pf service

I feel like he would appreciate most if you also took time out of your day to ease his life too. I feel like he would feel such relief and happiness and his heart would swell with affection and appreciation if you took on one of his (no matter how insignificant) tasks. Like he would be in a rush to leave and you woke up earlier before work to make him a coffee. Or when he comes home late you already put his clothes on the bed and prepared a bath. Or getting up and asking for extra napkins if he was not given any, or simply asking how can you make his day better. I feel like being helpful and listening and paying close attention to him would be what makes him happiest.

I.N./Jeongin:

Giving: Quality time/Gifts

He gets awkward when he tries to express feelings with words and is def not the most fond of skinship. However, I think if you were close he would be an amazing listener and sit with you and you could both share and grow together so much. He would give you the feeling he is ready to listen and be with you if you need him.

That and also I feel like when you are out and about it makes him feel good to know he can buy you things you can enjoy, and you are appreciative of them and he has that power to brighten your day and be a mature adult by buying you things, despite not really needing them sometimes.

Receiving: Quality time/Words

You know how he struggled a bit with the dancing at first and you know how the other members say that he does nothing when someone criticizes him, he just goes out of his way to fix his “mistakes”? And also in Vlive when he said he doesn’t like to watch his own fancams because all he sees are his mistakes? My baby seems to have a bit (quite some) of an imposter syndrome and since he is young and everyone teases him, although with love, I feel like it gets a bit uncomfortable and tough. He seems he just wants to keep up, and be the best at what he does but it gets tough when you have to catch up with people who have been doing the thing for many more years than you and you are struggling with your feelings and figuring things out as you grow within a demanding contract. So I think someone to listen to his worries and give him undivided attention without judgement and put in their input without being intrusive would be the most amazing thing to him. That, along with compliments and acknowledgement of his efforts, telling him that he is doing GOOD and you are proud (although he might think that you are just saying it, since he seems to only see ways he needs to improve) would be good at raising his self esteem and encourage him to continue with his hard efforts.

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz #stray kids fanfic #stray kids au #skz imagines #skz scenarios #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #love langauges

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

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pause, m | myg | 3

pairing(s): yoongi x reader

summary: Life is like a cassette tape. It seems like it’s constantly repeating, flipped from side A to side B, and the songs can’t be skipped. You can only pause, rewind, fast forward, play after you’ve already heard the song. After you’ve already lived it. All Min Yoongi knows is his own tape, until it smashes right at his feet, and then he has to learn to dance to a different beat.

warnings: rated M (18+) - please be warned this story has a physically and verbally abusive relationship; language; gender stereotyping; mentions of therapy; non-idol!AU; music producer!Yoongi x dancing fanatic!reader

rated M because I know how sensitive a topic domestic abuse is.

Morning. Night.

He wasn’t on the night train.

Morning. Night.

He wasn’t on the night train.

Morning. Night.

You were the only one exiting at the last stop. Running. Running.

Morning. Night.

You hated this replay. This song sucked. This cassette tape sucked. But you kept going, ending all your bad days with dancing, dancing until you wore your own heart out, dancing to sad songs with happy beats, attending your dance party of one. Never had you wished your dance party to be of two.

Never, until now.

Morning. Night.

You were wandering around your neighborhood on your off day, idle and antsy. There was a garage sale happening. You walked over, seeing all the old things. Weird lampshades with no bottom half. Chipped coin banks. A pair of ping-pong paddles with no ping pong ball. Single teacups without the rest of the set. Old VHS tapes that no one had a player for.

Cassettes.

A bunch of cassette tapes, sitting there, spilled out. You tilted your head, picking one out. Love Songs for my Love. It was written in faded pen, a barely legible scribble. You flipped it over, but there was no indication of said songs. Just a Side A and Side B. Did someone make this? Did they use a tape player and record this by playing the songs on scratchy audio?

You suddenly remembered Yoongi’s girlfriend throwing a cassette tape on the subway concrete as she declared she hated him. The thin plastic has shattered, black ribbon flying everywhere.

Did Yoongi make her one?

And she smashed it, just like that?

“Do you want that?”

You started as an old woman indicated the tape in your hand. She was wearing a blue and white floral dress, a bright pink fanny pack at her waist. Her hand held a wad of change bills.

“Uh…” you said, not knowing if you did or not.

“I have a cassette player too.” The old woman tucked a gray hair behind her ear and rummaged around her, producing a silver and brown cassette player. It was huge, nearly the size of your forearm. “Still works. Needs batteries though.” She stated the price.

You walked out of the garage sale with the cassette and the player, wallet lighter.

You went home and played the tape after shoving some batteries into the player. It was full of old, cheesy eighties songs. You didn’t know any of these songs. They were all weird. Some were poorly recorded, cutting off strangely. The speaker was terrible, scratchy and pitching the audio due to its age, not that the audio was very good to begin with.

But you danced to it.

You danced to it.

Danced to these terrible love songs of a different time, of a different couple, not knowing if they were still together or not, not knowing if they were still in love, not knowing if they were even in Korea, but dancing to these retro beats anyway, not caring. Because someone, at one point, tried clumsily to make this for the one that loved, only for it to be sold like cheap candy decades later and you might as well enjoy it, because, hell.

What else was there to enjoy?

Morning.

Night.

You stopped at your doorstep.

Someone was sitting there, wearing a black parka and black sneakers. Black face mask. He raised his head as you stopped. Dark eyes, void of any sparkle. He stood up.

You swallowed. Bowed your head politely.

Opened your door for Min Yoongi.

You hadn’t changed the couch all this time. Left everything there, waiting.

Blankets. Pillow. The suitcase of his clothes.

Everything.

Yoongi didn’t say anything.

You went to your room, wordlessly.

In the morning, the blankets were folded neatly and the pillow set on top, as if he was never there.

Pause.

Fast forward.

He would be there one night and then not there several nights. He would stay several nights in a row, but not be there in the morning. Never saying anything. You didn’t say anything. You just went to your bedroom and danced to sad songs with happy beats, door closed, the pressure in your chest unbearable.

Replay. Turn the tape around. Replay. Turn the tape around. Replay.

You wanted to fast forward. You wanted to pause. You wanted to rewind.

But you had to press play.

You had to live the moments.

You had to run as you exited to night train, run and run and run, sometimes finding Yoongi sitting at your doorstep, sometimes finding nothing but air. And it didn’t matter. They were all bad days, ending with you dancing to gloomy songs with upbeat tunes, dancing and dancing until you passed out.

You were stuck.

Stuck in this odd loop of reality.

Trapped in sad lyrics with a happy melody.

You talked to your former therapist about it.

Explained the situation, trying to remember all the details. He was retired already, but as usual he listened patiently and with kindness. He didn't have to. When your therapist retired, he let you know that he meant it when he told you that you could call him any time and he would set aside some of his day to talk with you. You were grateful and never tried to abuse it. Sometimes you would just call and say hello, ask him about his health. Send him cards every once in a while, wishing him well. He had been a great therapist and now he was a good friend.

Those were really, really hard to come by.

You saw Yoongi once again, sitting in front of your apartment doorstep. Bit your lip seeing his crumpled form wrapped in his black parka. You walked up to him and smiled, but Yoongi didn't look at you. He only stood up and moved out of the way for you to unlock your door.

Your former therapist's words echoed in your head.

You need to consider the effect of your kindness, not only on him, but on you.

You held up your keys and found your hand shaking, missing the keyhole.

It is up to you how much you want to say. But remember to communicate with empathy. He is a victim and he may not respond rationally because his thought processes have been manipulated and warped.

"I'm sorry."

Yoongi's whisper was very soft, almost inaudible. You wanted to scream, cry, laugh it off, hug him, all at once. Instead, you took a deep breath and put your key in your front door. Turned around and beckoned him warmly into your home.

"Come in."

Everyone's reality is different. Even if you're sharing moments together, one person might have a completely different way of interpreting and processing events.

Yoongi stepped into your apartment once more, carefully taking off his shoes. Trying to keep his eyes on the floor. You didn't see any visible bruises on his face, but you could see the bruises to his soul as he timidly walked to the couch.

In life, you get to choose only how you feel about things. You only get to choose your own reaction.

You closed the front door, locked it.

You can't choose for other people.

You turned around to see Yoongi looking at the pillow, blankets, the little bag of toiletries. The suitcase of his clothes, washed and folded. You kept them on the couch, all this time.

"Yoongi."

He didn't turn his head, but you saw him move his chin slightly to indicate he was listening.

"This time... this time, before you leave in the morning," you said quietly, gently. "I hope you reconsider. Even if it's only for a second."

Yoongi didn't respond.

The next morning, you didn't know what you would find. The same folded blankets with the pillow on top? The same empty couch?

You went out to the living room.

Folded blankets. Pillow on top. No Yoongi on the couch. Your heart sank. Okay. It was worth a shot.

"I told myself this would be the last time."

A familiar raspy, soft voice. You jerked your head to the door. Yoongi was standing there, fully dressed, face mask on, sneakers on his feet. He wasn't looking at you. He was staring at the couch.

"I told myself I wouldn't take advantage of your kindness anymore."

It's okay, you wanted to blurt, but you hesitated, because was it? Was it okay to watch this all the time, to witness this toxic relationship, and not be able to help because you can't help unless they want to be helped?

"I'm weak."

Yoongi raised his head. He made eye contact with you. And it hurt so much, seeing those eyes and knowing you could do nothing, knowing he was just going to go back because that's all he knew.

You smiled even though it hurt so, so much to smile.

"You might think you're weak," you said softly. "But you always have a choice, Yoongi. Even if it's a small step. Even if it's something dumb, like taking off your shoes."

You couldn't tell his expression, most of it hidden behind the face mask. You thought of that time, in the convivence superstore, where his fingers had accidentally gotten caught in your sweater and unfurled the yarn, tangling you two together with red string, an awkward, embarrassing moment. Your lips curved a little wider, remembering that time. If anything, at least there was that one precious memory.

Yoongi looked down.

He placed his hand on the doorknob.

You closed your eyes, not wanting to watch him go.

You heard shuffling. Then a presence close to you. Your eyes snapped open. Yoongi's shoes were by the door. You looked up, right in front of you. Yoongi gazed back at you with uncertainty. Then he pulled down the face mask and stepped closer to you. Voice trembling, still so soft.

"What... what should I do now?"

You couldn't help it.

You began to cry.

It all came out, the tears spilling like a broken dam. Yoongi's eyes widened, startled at your sudden reaction. You wrapped your arms around yourself and buried your face in your chest, sobbing ugly tears. You turned away quickly, wiping them away and attempting to talk, but it was impossible. They kept coming.

Was it happiness? Relief? Stress? Anxiety? The crying racked your entire body. All those weeks, all those days, all those moments. You were just a person. You wanted to say, don't do this to me anymore, but that wasn't a fair thing to say, so you never said it, but, please, please Yoongi, don't do this to me anymore.

Arms appeared around you, black parka covered arms, and they encircled you, first a tentative hold, then tighter and firmer, steadying your sobs, turning them into sniffles. You realized your sweatshirt sleeves were wet and gross now, covered in snot and tears.

"Thank you."

The whisper behind your head, making you freeze.

"Thank you so, so much."

You didn't want to start crying again.

You started crying again.

Pause.

Fast forward.

Yoongi looked back at you, face full of uncertainty. Black face mask on his chin, squishing his cheeks together. You smiled at him from the waiting room, waving. The doctor’s name was printed clearly on the door. The name of the therapist you had helped Yoongi find. They specialized in domestic violence victims.

“I… I can’t do it.”

He said it softly, but the waiting room was dead silent.

You smiled at him.

“You only have to take one step,” you replied gently. “I’ll be waiting right here.”

Yoongi looked forward again. He took one step. Then another. Then more, walking into the door and closing it behind him.

Pause. Rewind.

You remembered your similar moment. You were by myself at that time, years ago, confused and alone, about to walk into an old man’s office who you thought could do absolutely nothing, but you didn’t know what else to do. You knew there was something wrong with you and you didn’t know what and you knew you needed help. But there was no one to tell you to take a step forward. You were frightened, scared of being alone. Equally scared of being with someone else, which was why you were so boring in every relationship, never putting in any effort, because you were afraid.

The therapist had noticed your hesitance. He stood up and said your name kindly. You snapped to attention, nodding slowly. The old man had smiled, hands crossed in front of his waist.

“You only have to take one step,” he had said. “Just one.”

You looked at the ground.

Took one step.

That seemed too small. Maybe one more.

One more.

One.

More.

You were now in the office, standing in front of the sofa.

The old man had beamed at you proudly.

“You did it.”

Pause. Fast forward.

“You did it.”

Yoongi stepped out of the office. His eyes found yours. “I did.”

You smiled proudly.

“Wanna go buy some bread?” you asked, pointing in the direction of the market plaza next to the clinic. “There’s a bakery nearby. It would be nice to have bread for breakfast, don’t you think?”

Yoongi gave you his little half-smirk. “Yeah, it would.”

Reset.

Pause.

Play.

“Why do you have that?”

You looked up from your bed to your desk. Yoongi was pointing to the cassette tape player. His face was white, almost tense. His other hand was holding yours. He held it tighter, biting his lip.

“I bought it at a garage sale,” you answered truthfully. Yoongi lowered his hand, not quite looking at you. You continued. “I was walking around the neighborhood and someone was selling their old stuff and I saw some cassettes, so I bought one. The lady upsold me the player too. It was after the first time you…”

You left me.

You felt a painful pluck of your heartstrings, like a guitar strand pulled too tight and producing the wrong sound. Yoongi turned to face you, but you shifted your eyes, taking a deep breath. It’s not his fault. But it had hurt. You couldn’t pretend it didn’t.

You laughed apprehensively. “It was full of eighties love songs anyway. The audio is scratchy and old. The couple probably aren’t even together anymore.”

“That wasn’t that long ago.”

“The eighties were forty years ago, Yoongi.”

Silence. Yoongi was still holding your hand.

“How many times do you think it’s been replayed?” Yoongi murmured.

Your eyes shifted back to the silver and brown tape player. “I don’t know. But I kept playing it.” Your voice was a little choked up now. “I kept playing it until you… until you came back.” And sometimes I think… sometimes I think there might be a chance you’ll leave again. And maybe that was impossible, but you knew better, because impossible things happen all the time and it would be easy to think a person could fully heal, but things like that don’t heal so easily.

You know, because you witnessed it firsthand.

“They’re all terrible,” you said quietly.

Yoongi squeezed your hand. “But you kept replaying them.”

“Yeah.”

He took a deep breath. And then another. You waited. He seemed like he wanted to say something. You rubbed his thumb gently with yours. He kept staring at the cassette player.

“That… was the first gift I gave her.” His dark brown eyes were misty, gazing into the past. “Our hundred-day anniversary. I gave her a cassette of my favorite songs. I thought it was more original than a mix CD or a link to a Spotify playlist.” He looked down, not quite at the floor. “She was so excited and happy. She told me she was going to play it as soon as she got home.”

Silence.

When Yoongi spoke again, there was a quiver of hopelessness.

“I never saw a tape player at her place.”

You saw the pain in his eyes.

“Did she play it even once?”

He shut his eyes, hiding them with his hair. His voice was getting smaller and smaller, almost disappearing.

“And then she smashed it.”

He was clutching your hand so tightly that your fingers felt numb, but you didn’t move away, listening carefully.

“She smashed it so that not even people like you could pick it up years later and listen to it. Smashed it so that not even one person in the whole world could appreciate it.”

“The Yoongi at the time appreciated it,” you said softly.

Yoongi hid his face with his hair.

“The Yoongi back then was a fucking fool,” he sighed.

“It’s not so easy to have a pure feeling.” You placed your other hand on top of his. “Not everyone can feel that way. It’s not fair when someone takes advantage of that.”

He hung his head. “I could have gotten out. I could have been a man and left. But I kept going back. I enabled her. I was just as bad.”

You sighed softly. “You know things like that are easy to say and impossible to do in the moment.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

Yoongi lifted his head, looking at you through his bangs. Not wanting to fully show you the pain in those dark brown orbs.

“For going back?”

You shook your head. “No.” Your lips curved into a sad smile. “I watched my dad crawl back over and over. I watched it happen right in front of my eyes.” You exhaled the tenseness from your chest. “He kept thinking that because they had kids he had to come back.” The next breath was rougher, pushing out all your anger. “I think it would have easier if she was my stepmother. But she wasn’t.”

And the fear stabbed through you.

“I keep thinking, what if I’m like her? What if I’m just like her and I don’t know?”

You shut your eyes.

“All of my previous relationships ended because I didn’t invest into them.”

You suddenly let go of Yoongi’s hand, pulling away, but Yoongi held on, held on desperately, interlocking his fingers with yours. You dropped your hand, all strength gone, measuring your breathing, trying to calm yourself down.

“What if…?”

Silence.

“We’ll never know unless we try.”

Pause.

“I can’t ask you to try after what you’ve been through, Yoongi.”

“You don’t have to ask me.��

You opened your eyes and slowly, slowly raised your head. Your eyes connected with his.

“You know you won’t be that way,” Yoongi murmured quietly. “Because you know and can recognize it. You recognized it when… when I saw nothing.”

You held his hand.

Fell back on the bed and the two of you stared at the ceiling, holding hands.

You laughed as you exited the train car with Yoongi. At the last stop, stepping out to the harsh streetlights and concrete.

“What do you mean, is that where I got my dance skills? It’s just a music video! They’re supposed to be weird!” you were saying, shouldering your backpack.

“That was bizarre and that’s putting it lightly,” Yoongi chuckled.

He didn’t look at the edge of the train station anymore. He was only looking at you, with his dark brown, cat-like eyes full of sparkle, smirking at you fully now. There was still space between you two at this particular place, this last train stop, but somehow it had gotten smaller. Shrunk. Not because he was shrinking either. He was a smoothed-out piece of paper now, still winkled; the old marks erased but still etched on the page. Not forgotten, but finally able to be written over.

“Get the fuck over here, Yoongi.”

Both of you froze.

Yoongi frowned and looked up. The pressure on your chest returned.

The woman. Yoongi’s girlfriend.

No.

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“I told you it was over. It’s still over.”

Ex-girlfriend.

She furrowed her brows, bristling. “You can’t do this to me, Yoongi! I’m the only one who loves you! Me! Or did you forget, you stupid bastard?”

Yoongi paused. He took a deep breath and stared up at the streetlights, up to the sky. For a second, you despaired, thinking he was going to consider it, thinking he was going to walk away from you. Then he let out a puff of air and ticked his head.

“I don’t have anything more to say to you,” he said evenly, not looking at his ex-girlfriend.

Yoongi turned away.

He caught your eye. He wasn’t smiling, but you could tell there was something different this time. Resolve. He nudged your arm with his.

“Wanna race?”

The pressure on your chest lifted suddenly, leaving you breathless.

“What?” you gasped.

Yoongi chuckled. “You’re gonna lose.”

And then he tore off. You started, running after him, the young woman shouting after you two, but neither of you heard, neither of you listening, because you were running, running, chasing after that black parka with indignation, calling his name and him mockingly bellowing yours back, causing you to run faster, faster, smile on your face, tackling him into your front door laughing. Yoongi snickered, stating he won and you chastised him, telling him he cheated as you unlocked the door.

“Your fault for getting distracted.”

“I wasn’t ready!” you flailed, dumping your backpack onto the ground. You took out your phone and accidentally pressed the play button on your music. Your Bluetooth house speakers started blasting quirky guitar, snazzy drums, and twanging bass, ridiculous lyrics singing along. In frustration, you tossed your phone on the couch and began to wiggle your arms, pointing accusingly at Yoongi, as if to say, this isn’t over, but kicking off your shoes and prancing about your apartment, bouncing your shoulders to the beat.

Yoongi shook his head, but you didn’t care, singing on the top of your lungs.

“Don’t know a night without dancing, don’t like the night without dancing…”

“Is that dancing?” Yoongi interrupted, but you just wiggled up and down like a fish out of water, and Yoongi shook his head once more, looking exasperated. You spun, you frolicked, you whipped your hair around until you were lightheaded, not caring about anything, not caring about what Min Yoongi was seeing, because this was your time, your time to shine, your nighttime dance party.

You tripped on the couch and Yoongi darted forward to snatch you from the air. You laughed at your own clumsiness, dizzy from spinning so much, not realizing how close you were to Min Yoongi, not realizing until the song ended and you were staring up at him and he was staring down at you, still in his black parka and face mask squishing his cheeks.

The next song began.

But for some reason you couldn’t brush it off. You couldn’t get up and begin dancing again. You were only looking up into Yoongi’s eyes and he was looking down at you. You were reminded of his face that day in the grocery store, when the red yarn from your sweater unraveled due to the Velcro on his sleeve, reminded of that split second where you were happy and sad at the same time, happy and sad at the idea of red yarn attaching you and Yoongi together.

Happy because it was funny.

Sad because you knew you had to pull away.

Yoongi’s dark eyes looked down at you and he leaned down a little. Stopped.

You raised yourself a little. Stopped.

Pause.

Heart beating fast, so fast. Was it from running? From dancing like an idiot? From staring into Yoongi’s eyes? From being so close to him? From knowing you shouldn’t kiss him, because maybe he wasn’t ready yet, but really, really wanting to?

Yoongi leaned down the same time you rose upward.

Your foreheads knocked together.

“Ow!”

“Motherfuc–”

You swore and he jerked up, rubbing his forehead as you winced, massaging yours. It was a hard hit and you felt woozy from all the emotions and the physical exertion. You grabbed his arm for balance as you stood, and he grabbed yours, grimacing as he rubbed his head.

“Damn, that fucking hurt,” he mumbled.

“Ugh, am I bruised?” you asked, removing your hand.

He squinted. “No?” He leaned forward a little.

You leaned forward too. Stopping just a centimeter away. Yoongi’s eyes widened. You looked into his wide eyes with your wide eyes, waiting. You shouldn’t kiss him, because you didn’t know if he was okay with it, you didn’t know if he was even thinking about it. It was way too early, it was too soon, and you should just back off–

He pressed his lips to yours.

You both stared at each other with unblinking, huge eyes, lips on lips.

You jerked back, sputtering. “Y-You’re making this weird!”

Yoongi pointed to you and all around him. “And this bizarre indie rock isn’t making this weird?”

“D-Don’t blame the music,” you stuttered, fingers on your lips. “You shouldn’t stare like that!”

“You were s-staring back!” he accused.

“F-Fine!”

And then you grabbed his face and kissed him, deeply, fully. You kissed Min Yoongi, kissed his soft lips with your eyes squeezed shut, breathing in his scent and his presence, a presence you never wanted to go away. You didn’t know if it was right or wrong. You didn’t know if this was the start of a wonderful story or the end of a rollercoaster one, but it was yours, your cassette tape with your love songs, and you wanted Yoongi on the playlist, you wanted his song to play on repeat, and he grabbed your arms and pulled you close, kissing you back, murmuring your name, wrapping his arms around you, and you knew you had his song, his song on your cassette to dance to.

Don’t let this beginning end.

4. smut.

masterpost

#yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #bts series #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you

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greenygreenland · 3 years

Text

Home: Lloyd Garmadon x Reader

-I LOVE ASKS. plz keep them coming, they make my day -i’m sorry i write slowly, I’m a perfectionist. -it’s also better to have quality over quantity, am I right? -takes place after Tournament of Elements but before Possessed

[REQUESTED BY ANON] Summary/ask: Maybe a reader with a "dark" power (like, not evil, but considered dark), and they were outcasted by it, everyone thinks they are bad and shit but they are just shy and insecure?

WARNING: MENTIONS OF VERBAL ABUSE (VERY BRIEF), BLOOD (BRIEF), INJURIES (ALSO BREIF), ETC.

Isolation. That was all you had ever known for the better half of your life. Most details were things you preferred to keep hidden away, locked up for good in that deep mind of yours.

You never had a whole family, but that was fine by you. Why should that matter when you had a father who loved and cared for you? Growing up, he always told you this: ‘Ninjago is so much more than our tiny home, my dear. Why should we worry about what we don’t have when there’s so much to discover?’

Even now, you held onto his words with your life. Even now when you forgot what his face looked like. Even now when you couldn’t remember his voice, or how warm his hugs were. Everything eventually faded, but not the emotions he made you feel.

Love, warmth, generosity.

Those were the only pieces of baggage you carried. Although heavy, they kept you from the evil strings of bitterness. You kept your chin up, high in the air so you could look to the sky. It was the limit after all, the portion of which you had to reach and reach until you couldn’t anymore. The only problem was getting there.

The alley was rather quiet today, a far cry from the usual bustling citizens looking for a shortcut or a food stand. You loved days like this, where no one would care to stare at you and whisper your name like it were a ball in a game. With your hood up, no one could see your face, and no one could cast you aside like the loner you were.

“What are you doing here?”

You wish you hadn’t heard his voice. As subtle as he tried to be, his snarky tone caused passing stragglers to glance at you. A sigh escapes your lips. What was he doing here? Didn’t he have anything better to do than follow you around and nag? You were cast aside as it was by your mother, forgotten by your so-called friends, and left behind by your ascended father.

He told you to stay away from that speedy idiot, the one your mother took away from you. The one who took after her with the same eyes, nose, and mouth. They had the same grin, too, the one where it looked like they thought they were better than you.

“If it isn’t Griffin Turner,” you grumble out. “What a pleasure.”

His stare isn’t friendly. You know under those red sunglasses that he’s glaring at you. He’s probably thinking about how much of a monster you are too, just like every other Elemental Master you ever faced in your life.

Griffin runs a hand over his oh-so-perfectly cut hairdo. “Oh don’t be a prick.” he spits out. “Have some respect for your older brother.” That grin doesn’t slide off his face no matter how dark your expression gets. He’s always been oblivious. First to your powers, then to your father’s death, and finally, to how terribly he’s been treating you.

It doesn’t matter that he’s your older brother. Bullying does not discriminate, and neither do you, blood ties or not. “Just leave me alone, I’m not in the mood Griffin.” He raises a brow. “Not in the mood? Since when did someone like you have feelings? You’re cold-hearted, just like your dad.”

You frown. “’Your dad’?” you echo. “What, so we’re only related when you choose?” Griffin shrugs absentmindedly. You know he’s trying to provoke you, get a reaction, but you just can’t help it. He was patronising you and your father.

“I’m just glad I lived with mum instead of dad.” he adds. “At least I don’t have to run after the garbage truck with a shopping list.” He snickers to himself and you go rigid. “Take that back.”

“What? Your last braincell?”

“Well--you--you’re a...” You pause. “At least I had someone who loved me and actually payed attention to me! Sure, I inherited dad’s elemental powers, but he taught me something you’ll never get: kindness. You think I don’t know? Look again you pathetic waste of space!” That wasn’t supposed to hit hard and you both knew it. Griffin could have said a million other insults that burned like the sun itself, yet somehow, with your puny words, you hit a nerve. A nerve that wasn’t supposed to be punched in the first place.

Griffin’s grin finally slides off his face. He stuffs a hand in his pocket and uses the other to adjust his bright sunglasses. He doesn’t say anything, but you can practically feel the air thicken between the empty distance. Griffin didn’t have lo self-esteem, but sometimes, his mum called him a waste of space. When you walked by the luxurious apartment, on days the kitchen window was left wide open, you heard what she’d say to Griffin--what she did to him.

Suddenly, you’re taken back to the age of six, when your parents were together and Griffin was more than your only brother. You were best friends. You did everything together. But then your father passed down his elemental powers to you, and it was then that everything changed.

Your father taught you that your powers were a gift passed down all the way from the days the First Spinjitzu Master lived among the people of Ninjago. It was a gift used to protect him when he was in need, a gift that possessed great power and majesty. Your elemental abilities had a double edge to it. Although beautiful, it possessed a great danger.

One slip-up was all it took. One mistake you never meant.

That day, you were practicing control and discipline over your powers. You never meant for it to happen, and if you could go back, you would a million times over. That day, all the control, all the mastery you had over your abilities disappeared in an instant. You swore it was only for a second, but it could have lasted a millennia.

Your element was more than a power. It was a living part of you with its own consciousness you couldn’t quite understand. When you slept, you saw him, the intangible person you never cared to learn the name of. He always sat in a plain of pure darkness, where you couldn’t touch or see him clearly.

You knew he never meant to frighten you, but that day, you only saw a monster. Perhaps it was you, perhaps it was him. You never knew because the moment you lost control, your world went black. From then on, your parents split. Your mother took Griffin away from you, and as time grew, so did the distance between you.

You wish you could change things starting from that day till now. Those forsaken words shouldn’t have left either of your mouths, but the damage had already been done. It cut too deep that not even magic could mend the wounds.

“Griffin I--”

“So that’s how it is.” A bitter laugh escapes his lips and you flinch like you’ve been struck. Griffin walks toward you at a painfully slow pace. The alleyway isn’t part of the city anymore. It’s a battlefield of honour, of pride, of two siblings who have been torn apart. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he pulls something out of his pocket. “Here.”

The wad of cash presented to you between his fingers looks more like an insult than a gift. Was he trying to rub in your face how rich his mum was compared to your dead dad? Surely this wasn’t an olive branch to apologise for being a jerk for the past eleven years.

He stares at your incredulous expression and yanks your wrist forward, slapping the bills into your hand and forcing it into your sweater pocket. “Look, I’m not patronising you, okay? Just...go to your friend or whatever and don’t spend that on drugs. Your financial situation sucks, I get it.”

His tone is rather aggressive, but you know that speech pattern. The one where it’s soft and bashful because he’s embarrassed to be talking out loud like that--like an older brother. You run your fingers over the cash in your pocket and stare at Griffin. He looks the other way and begins marching past you, making sure to bump shoulders.

“Griffin, wait.” You make a grab for his arm but he’s already gone at the speed of light. “Thanks,” you whisper to yourself. “I guess.” You aren’t sure how long you stay in the dead alleyway, frozen in your own thoughts. But as soon as you’re ready to make your way to the park, the alleyway fades, the honking of the cars disappear, and you’re completely alone in a surge of darkness.

“That has got to be a least three hundred.”

You heave out a long sigh as the darkness parts. Robes drag across the floor like liquid gold, sparkling and shimmering like the sun. “Such a coward, your brother. He shouldn’t have run away like that.” The man is a living contradiction, much like you. Although he lived in a world of darkness, that never stopped light from blooming in his cold heart. He cared for you as much as he cared for your father and those before him.

The man adjusted the collar of his red robes, yanking the thick fabric into all the right shapes and places. His pale face was like a sheet of paper, but the calm smile made up for that and tinted his cheeks rose. “Here,” he said, waving his arm. The wad of cash drifted out of your pocket, mixing with the mist until it was all but a speck of light. It drifted into one of the man’s pockets, which he patted.

“Honestly,�� he says, “could you be more inconspicuous? Someone down the street looked like he wanted to mug you.” You frown and the man huffs. “When you need the money, come back. I’ll keep it here.”

“Thank you.”

“Raijin.” he says. “Call me Raijin.”

The mist began swirling like a whirlpool, twisting and turning until your hood whacked you in the face. The alleyway materialised as soon as your feet hit the pavement. The honking of cars sliced through the air, bombarding your ears in the cityscape sounds. “First Spinjitzu Master...” you grumble, rubbing your ears.

“LOOK OUT!”

You whip around in bewilderment and flatten yourself against the brick wall. A group of four or five fruit-coloured boys fly from the fire escape above. If you hadn’t reacted quickly enough, then you’d be as much of a pancake as the blue one (he was under all of them).

“I’m--gonna--die! Get off me Cole!”

“I...I can’t when Zane’s heavier than a rock!”

“Kai, move your stupid leg!”

“Everyone stop arguing! Lloyd is unconscious!”

The last bit sent the group in a rush of shouting, scrambling, and shoving. You wanted to do something to help, but these boys were the ninja, students of Sensei Wu and partly, Garmadon. In the world of elemental masters, they were known as the OG, the ones who defeated the Great Devourer, Garmadon, and so many more.

The last time you saw them (together, that was) had to be half a year ago on Chen’s forsaken island. You almost died, but Lloyd saved you. He and his friends risked their lives to help everyone off that island. If thy hadn’t been there...

You glance at Lloyd. He lay on the pavement, faintly breathing and coughing as Zane wrapped gauze around his wrist. The blood smeared on his face sent your heart tumbling. Just what had they done this time?

“Hey!” you exclaim. The boys remove their hoods and turn to you. Kai knits his brows together. “Aren’t you--?”

“Do you want help or no?” you gruffly retort. Zane’s bright eyes don’t leave your cold expression as you look between all the ninja. Cole and Jay look uneasy about the offer, but to even the blind, it was clear they had no choice.

“Yes.” Zane says. “We would be grateful for your assistance, (Y/n).” You nod and motion for them to follow you out of the alleyway. Kai carefully lifts Lloyd off the ground and onto his back. “Thank you for your generous offer.”

“Don’t thank me until he’s well.” you quietly reply. As scary as it was inviting people to your tiny apartment, this was the ninja. You owed them this much for being Ninjago’s protectors for so long. “We’re taking the back route because I don’t want to attract unwanted attention. It’s clear you had a run-in, let’s not repeat that.”

Halfway down one of the quieter streets, you heard Jay whisper this, “I heard she’s evil. Are you sure we should trust her?”

You want to be offended, but getting upset would only make everything worse. You re-called your conversation with Griffin, and that look on his face when you called him a waste of space.

He deserved the insult, you told yourself. Why should you feel guilty?

You spot a beat-up door worn with age. The blue paint peeled off the wood, scattering along the doorstep in little piles. As much as you wanted to renovate, you couldn’t afford it. You had to save up for college and rent.

You dig your hand inside your trousers’ pocket and produce a key. The scratches rub against your calloused hands as you stick it in the keyhole and yank open the door. “Bring him in.” No one says a word as you watch the ninja file into your home one by one. Like good guests, they remove their shoes and leave them in a little corner of the hall.

You close the door behind you and lock it, tossing the key in its respective place. “Set him down on the couch. I’ll get a med kit.” When you come back with the med kit and freshly washed hands, you weave past Cole and sit on the floor by Kai’s side. “He’ll be alright.” you calmly state.

Kai sharply meets your gaze. “His wrist is broken.”

“Yes, but bones can be mended. He will be alright.” You ignore the stares, they were background noise, and place your hands around the wound. “Raijin,” you whisper, “I need assistance.”

The last time you had to fix a broken wrist had to be about three months ago. It was a rather draining action, but for Lloyd, you would do anything. He needed you.

Suddenly, your body goes completely rigid. Your hands are cold and you shut your eyes, allowing the icy sensations to wash over your being. A breeze passes over your face and settles around your hands. You imagine Lloyd’s bones mending back into place, connecting painlessly like a puzzle piece would.

“What’s she doing?” you hear Jay whisper.

“I think she’s concentrating.” Cole answers. “Kind of...creepy if I do say so myself.”

You feel the bones clicking together, and once you are sure Lloyd is alright, you open your eyes and heave out a long sigh. “He...he will be...” You can’t finish that sentence. The world spins with dots and mingles in a flurry of colours and blurs. Someone was saying something, but you can’t make out what’s wrong with you.

The world fades to black.

“Here again?”

You frown uncomfortably as Raijin struts out from behind a curtain of shadow. It’s hard to disregard him, so you avert your gaze to the side. “I don’t choose when I come here, you know that.” He chuckles and it’s a low rumble. “You like him.”

“Who?”

“Lloyd. It’s not everyday you let people into your home. When you saw Griffin walk by with a broken leg, you didn’t heal him.” You sigh loudly. “Well, that’s different Raijin.”

“Is it?” There’s a suggestive tone to his voice you don’t like, as if he’s looking inside your head and hearing all your thoughts bouncing around. Raijin probably did hear some of it. He was, after all, a part of you, both soul and body. Silence falls over your shoulders and it sits there like an old pillow: uncomfortable, flat, and irritating.

The silence stretched and you felt small in the presence of Raijin. He had a way with his height and energy that somehow made him appear all the more regal. You can’t meet his eyes as you blurt out the dumbest question you could muster. “Will Lloyd be okay?”

The answer is obvious, but Raijin doesn’t comment on it. He folds his hands together and softly nods, as if he’s afraid of making you shrink further into yourself. “Thanks to your efforts his wrist is healed. Why don’t you see for yourself?” You perk up. “What--?”

The darkness curls under your shoes, stretching like gum and absorbing you in nothing. It’s cold, it’s dark, and it’s filling you with adrenaline.

You jolt upright.

“I see you and Raijin had quite the conversation.” a crinkly voice states. You rub your pounding head, accepting the steaming cup of tea from Sensei Wu’s hands. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the monastery, much less your old room. Wait, Wu? Your old room from when you were eleven? “Sensei?” He smiles kindly, giving your shoulder a good pat. “If you were wondering, Lloyd has been healed. Actually, he wishes to see you.”

“Me?” you inquire. “Really?” Wu chuckles to himself good-naturedly. He turns his back to you and slides open the door, revealing a red-faced Lloyd. He goes stiff like a board. “Uh--I--sorry--just passing--”

Wu gently guides Lloyd into the room, paying no mind to the stuttering mess his nephew had become. It’s an odd sight to see Lloyd, the Green Ninja, tripping over his own feet, adjusting his sleeves, and picking at loose threads instead of meeting your eyes like he did that day.

Lloyd had been like a gust of wind. He came to your rescue strong and fast, scooping your bloodied body in his arms with a gentle hold. When the time came and you all had to leave the island, you were still too weak to use your elemental powers, so Lloyd let you ride with him. Those crazy few weeks on Chen’s island had been traumatising.

The fact that you weren’t trusted by anyone due to your powers made it worse, until you met Lloyd and his father.

Wu quietly exists the room, gently closing the door behind. You silently thank him for his consideration. “It’s been a while.” you quietly say. Lloyd shuffles toward you with a bright smile, cheeks still tinted red. “I used to see you around Ninjago City a lot, but after a while, it was...I don’t know, like you disappeared.”

It’s your turn to avert your gaze. The truth was, you weren’t sure Lloyd still wanted to be your friend after the Tournament. You saw him less and less with each passing day, only ever giving a small wave here and there whenever he went to Borg Tower. After half a month, Griffin caught you talking with Lloyd. He bullied you about it and told you Lloyd was only acting like your friend.

Stupidly enough, you believed him. Your insecurities about being judged wore down your courage like a bath bomb in water. You couldn’t speak with Lloyd any longer, or give a simple wave that made him smile like the sun. One day, you decided to avoid him completely by taking a different route home. You never saw him again. Not until today.

“I-I’m sorry Lloyd.” you murmur. He blinks, knitting his brows together in confusion. “What do you mean you’re sorry? You didn’t do anything--”

“Yes I d-did.” You curse your wobbly voice. “I started a-avoiding you because I was scared we weren’t...you know...anymore. And a lot happened...and then...” Your eyes are burning with tears you know are filled with ages of stress and worry and anger.

You wanted to blame Griffin for making fun of you that day. You wanted to blame yourself for being so stupid. You wanted to blame Raijin for not talking to you when you needed him most. But you couldn’t. How would any of them know this would happen? That you’d eventually cut Lloyd off altogether until you were in isolation in that tiny apartment by yourself? How could you have known?

The side of your bed dips and gentle arms bring you in tight. It’s warm and reminds you of meadows with flowers, butterflies, and better days. When was the last time you actually hugged someone? Much less allowed them this close in your proximity? You didn’t have friends at school, so you always settled for books as your comfort. Books could not hug like people.

“I should be thanking you.” Lloyd said. “You healed me even though it made you pass out.” You sniffle, hesitantly wrapping your arms around Lloyd’s middle. As soon as you allow your shoulders to relax, warmth spreads through your chest. You recognised the sensation as a mix of comfort and relief.

To know someone else was here with you who cared and would sit with you as you cried your eyes out was new--but it felt good. When your dad died, you promised to never shed another tear. You couldn’t say you were good a keeping promises.

“If you want to tell me more, it’s okay.” Lloyd softly said. You rested your head on his shoulder, savouring the way he smelled like life itself. If you were to describe it, you’d call it grassy, flowery, and fruity all rolled into one.

“Well... You remember my brother Griffin?” you slowly begin. “He isn’t who you think he is. He always tells me things like I’m a monster because of my elemental powers, or that...”

You aren’t sure how long you talk for, but Lloyd’s there, listening to every word and drinking it in like gold. Sometimes he pitched in, other times he sat still in a silent horror you couldn’t fully comprehend. It never occurred to you just how broken your family relationships had been when it was your norm.

When your tears finally dried and you could breathe again, Lloyd took your hands and motioned for you to follow him out of the room. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” You smiled at him, enjoying the company his hand provided.

Wu rounded around the corner and said, “Would you like to stay forever?”

There was no question in that. You still had your old room and memories of when you used to call the monastery home. Why wouldn’t you want to make new ones? “Yes.” you reply. “I’d love that--if it’s fine with you.” Lloyd glanced at Wu, who simply nodded in confirmation.

Lloyd turns to you with a bright grin that you can only shyly match in response.

TIP JAR

Please don’t forget to reblog!

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #lloyd x reader #ninjago x reader #x reader #reader insert #xreader #lego #ninjago wu #Sensei Wu

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kamilah-the-bloodqueen · 3 years

Text

Remember Me (4/???)

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH. Honestly I lost a lot of motivation to write after Bloodbound because PB has greatly decreased in the quality of their books. I am still trying to find the time and motivation to write and am forcing myself to finish my series at the very least but if I am being completely honest I feel like the Kamilah fandom has died, PB’s books mostly suck and I don’t even really play choices anymore. Who knows, I’m trying to learn to write the code for episode so maybe I’ll start posting my own stories and choices on that platform with better plot, smut and less diamond focus since it would be a hobby. This chapter is ASS and mostly just moves the plot along - so if you want action I would wait for a different series or later chapter - okay bye!

Pairing: Adrian x MC x Kamilah (Amy)

Tags: I paused the tag list since it’s been so fucking long but if you want a tag please let me know because I’m pretty sure most people think this series died with me :)

Words: ~1500 (Short because I needed to finish a chapter to motivate me to finish the next)

Kamilah took a deep breath as she knelt on the floor beside Adrian, carefully wrapping her arms around her brother, her heart sinking with every sob that left his lips. She didn’t speak, she knew her words would come off too harshly and she couldn’t blame Adrian for feeling that way, after all she knew how much he loved Amy.

“Adrian, I’m sorry. I...I truly don’t know what to say.” As their eyes met Kamilah saw exactly how devastated he was, and even in her two thousand years of life, she had never been in his situation.

“Kamilah, do you think she’ll...well she says we’re just friends but do you think she’ll fall in love with me again?” His lips trembled, his hands shaking and his eyes glistened with tears.

“I don’t know. As much as I believe love is a silly mortal affair, and a simple chemical reaction, it can’t be forced but I’m sure if you just be yourself and do your best to be her friend that any romantic feelings will follow.” Kamilah moved away as Adrian calmed himself, both of them passing a nod of agreement as he wiped his face clean with tissues.

“Your wisdom has always guided me well Kamilah.”

“I suppose that is two thousand sixty three years of experience speaking.”

“Heh, I guess my two hundred years don’t nearly compare...”

“You’re still a simple child in my eyes, I just took a liking to you.”

“Well, thank you Kamilah. It seems I owe you quite a bit.”

They both stood from the floor and took seats on Adrian’s office couch, Kamilah folding her legs and crossing her arms and Adrian crossing his ankles and folding his arms.

“We’re practically siblings - you don’t owe me anything. Just try to take care of yourself and well...don’t expect anything from Amy. I’m sure this is difficult for her, difficult is an understatement. I can’t imagine what she’s experiencing.”

“Maybe I’ve been too selfish Kamilah...I’ve been thinking more about what I want from her instead of focusing on if she’s okay or what she wants.”

“Sometimes it’s alright to be selfish, and I can understand why you felt that way but you are correct, we need to focus on what Amy wants now, not what she wanted before the accident.”

“You’re absolutely right. I can only hope for the best...I just really...I really wanted...I believed she was the one.”

“I know you did. I wanted her to be the one for you as well, I still hope she comes back to you Adrian.”

“Me too.”

Adrian’s phone buzzed at the same time Kamilah’s did, Lily having texted both of them to rendezvous with her and Jax at Amy’s old apartment to talk about the recent events.

“We should go, but do you feel okay?” Kamilah patted Adrian’s shoulder as they both stood from the couch.

“Yes I think so.” They hurried to the elevator and got into Adrian’s black Mercedes as they navigated towards Lily’s apartment. Once they arrived Lily greeted them before guiding them up to the apartment where Jax waited on the couch with a beer in hand.

“Hey guys...how ya doin?” His words were slurred and he was obviously under the influence to a decent extent.

“Tell me you have something other than beer Lily.” Kamilah grimaced as Jax took another swig of the beer. She had no problem with beer but she hated that brand and would rather remain sober than allow herself to drink that brand.

“Yeah, vodka or wine?”

“Vodka.” Kamilah spoke without hesitation while Adrian grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a seat next to Jax on the couch. Lily began to pour Kamilah a shot, and once the glass was full Kamilah took the bottle from her and took two large gulps before sitting on the leather chair and holding the bottle with one hand.

“So we’re here to get drunk? I thought we were supposed to talk about Amy?” Kamilah’s voice broke the deathly silence that filled the room. Adrian leaned in the door before removing his tie, unbuttoning his shirt and, grabbing three bottles of the cheap beer and sinking into the recliner opposite of Lily and Jax.

“I didn’t want to drink...well grieve...alone. I mean I can’t do this with Amy anymore...well I could but it wouldn’t be the same... and I have my friend back but it’s really just...it’s not the same. I don’t know I just didn’t...you can leave if you want but I didn’t want to grieve alone…” Lily began to sob, her tears falling into her glass of wine as Jax and Adrian frowned. Kamilah held her stoic expression, but even the alcohol could not erase the ache she felt in her chest.

“I see, well I guess we all process grief differently…” Kamilah spoke calmly, but deep down she felt her own sense of grief. As she gazed around she realized how messy Jax’s hair and clothes were, and how exhausted and drained Lily was. “You guys look a mess…”

“Thanks Kamilah.” Jax drunkenly snickered and Lily sniffled. Adrian remained quiet, taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand before switching to the other glass and downing it just as quickly.

“Does this not fucking hurt you?” Lily drunkenly scolded as Kamilah flinched ever so slightly. None of them had ever heard Lily so fragile, so devastated. She had every reason to be - she had lost her best friend - even though Amy had survived the accident, the memories were all gone and everything they had once shared was gone.

“It...does...I was just remarking on-”

“I don’t care about your remarks, at least not now. Don’t you fucking get it? I lost my fucking best friend and I have to watch her find everything again! Do you know how that fucking feels Kamilah? I’m sure you do from all your time as a vampire, but please, for the love of god and for the sake of our friendship just shut the fuck up. I can’t handle this.” Lily’s hand gripped on her bottle as it shattered against her palm, the beer pouring onto the tile floor and seeping into the edges of the carpet.

“I...apologize Lily…”

“It’s fine! It’s fine! Everything is fine I guess. I don’t know I just...I’m not coping well...and I feel guilty for saying that because Amy has it the hardest of us all and yet here I am getting wasted to be in her position - to forget everything while also being the person who put her in this position in the first fucking place. I don’t think it’ll ever be the same as it was before…”

“Maybe that’s for the best…” Adrian finally joined the conversation. Kamilah, Lily and Jax turned to face him as he swirled the bottle around in his hand - his brown eyes shiny from the tears that had built up. “...we all lost someone...Amy was a different person to each of us...but maybe we have to lose that person for some reason…”

“Adrian, do not try to give me that ‘it’s for the best’ bullshit.” Lily took a deep breath as Adrian shrugged.

“I’m not. I guess it’s just the alcohol talking, but I was going to propose to Amy that night and maybe it was a sign I shouldn’t have, or maybe the world is punishing me for my sins...but fuck all of that...it’s...it’s a forgotten memory and we need to forget just like Amy...”

---------------- Amy’s POV ------------------

It was a weird feeling that I couldn’t describe. Having people who seemed like strangers tell me all about the things we’ve done together gave me such comfort and anxiety at the same time. I wanted to believe and trust each of them but at the same time, it would be so easy to lie about it. Maybe I’m just being paranoid about the situation - nobody would really benefit from creating an elaborate story just to mess with my mind.

God this IV really stings...and now that I’m thinking about it, my ribs really hurt too. I should call the doctor or nurse but it’s nearly midnight. I mean it’s their job but they’re humans and I don’t want to be that super needy patient…

At least that Lily girl seems genuine, I can see why I was her best friend. I appreciate her sincerity more than I can verbalize to her. I’m still wary of Jax though - that man looks like he could kill in an instant and I don’t want to get on his bad side. I’m glad they’re friends with each other though - they seem to get along really well and...Adrian. Poor bastard. I broke his heart. I broke his heart and I can’t even help it. How am I supposed to even really process that whole fucking mess. He’s so sweet and gentle and genuine and I can’t even reciprocate it back to him...but maybe with time I could…? But Kamilah...she makes my heart skip a beat too...but she’s so unlike anyone I’ve even taken interest in - callous and stoic most of the time with very few soft spots. It wouldn’t be any type of understatement to claim my heart is as confused as my head.

#kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #kamilah the bloodqueen post

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