#and I decided to run with an interpretation that has always stuck with me since high school

[agnerd-bot]

Fate Fanservant: Judas Iscariot, The Traitorous Disciple(Avenger)

Ascension Stages:

First Stage: Judas is clad in tattered clothes, an a large red scar is cut across her stomach, in the shape of a demonic toothy maw. A mask covers her mouth, and her hair is blood-red with white streaks. She is hunched over, with a hangman’s noose around her neck, and a string of silver coins wrapped around her hand.

Second Stage: Judas’s robes have become even more torn and ratted, and the markings on her stomach have shifted and morphed, revealing a massive, demonic mouth lined with rows of teeth and dripping blood.

Final Stage: Judas is now clad in more kept-together cloth, covering the mouth on her stomach. The pieces of silver hang around her neck, and she stands up much straighter. She has a small smile on her face.

Theme:

SCORN RAP by JT Music - "Sick of Myself"

Hell's Comin' with Me

Traits:

Class: Avenger Alternate Class: Assassin, Caster, Ruler, Alter Ego, Beast True Name: Judas Iscariot Source: The Bible Region: Israel Alignment: Lawful Evil Attribute: Star

Known as: Yehûdâh Ish-Kerayot, The Traitor, The Liar, The Woman from Kerioth, The Thirteenth Disciple, The Woman of Pollution, the Thirteenth Seat

Voice Actress: Asakawa Yuu

Deck: QAAAB

Parameters: Strength: C- Endurance: A+++ Agility: B Mana: A+ Luck: E- NP: EX

Passive Skills:

Magic Resistance EX:

As one of the original Thirteen Disciples, Judas Iscariot’s Magic Resistance is at the highest rank, on par with that of Saints. It is nigh-impossible for Magecraft to seriously affect Judas, even those from the Age of Gods.

Even for a fallen prophet, the psalms song still ring true in her heart of hearts:

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.”

(FGO Effect:)-Increases own Debuff Resistance by 25%.

Avenger A+:

Judas Iscariot is defined by hatred and resentment. In the New Testament, the Thirteenth Disciple was known as a callous misanthrope, always willing to accuse others of heresy and wickedness, even when the prophet from Kerioth performed the same sinful acts she shunned others for. So great was her hatred that it is said that the Devil was able to enter her heart, influencing her to betray the person she believed in more than anything.

In return, upon her treacherous actions and death, Judas Iscariot became one of the most despised figures within the biblical canon, seen by many as the incarnation of betrayal itself. Those who wrote of the Twelve Disciples have all remembered Judas as the Traitor, the Betrayer, and the Sinful One. The very name of Judas Iscariot has become synonymous with evil and treachery.

Hatred of others and hatred unto oneself. Perhaps more than any other Servant, Judas Iscariot embodies the defining attribute of the Avenger Class.

(FGO Effect:)-Increases own NP generation rate when taking damage by 22%.-Reduces party's (including sub members) debuff resistance by 12% except themselves. [Demerit]

Oblivion Correction C:

As a penitent, Judas Iscariot cannot and will not forget the reason for her self-inflicted damnation. The betrayal of the one man who showed her such unconditional love. The kiss that betrayed Him to his enemies. The failure to redeem herself of her sins. Her hatred will never subside, even in death. Where so many found their salvation from their sins, she alone remained behind, unwilling to accept her Teacher's hand. She has chosen the path of her own Hell, alone, painful, and cold. And yet, it is one she will never waver from.

"O Lord... May you never forgive me for my sins... And may I never forgive myself for my treachery..."

(FGO Effect:)-Increases own critical damage by 6%.

Self-Replenishment(Magic) A:

As a Servant of God and embodiment of the Gates of Hell, Judas Iscariot's magical power is near-limitless. Her rage is unyielding, pushing her through even the most horrific types of pain without even flinching. It doesn't matter how badly or how many times her body is broken. It doesn't matter what kind of opponent she stands against. The answer is always the same: an unyielding march forward, until all who stand in her path are left to face the consequences of their actions.

It is the memory of her treachery that drives her, the fuels her every waking moment. Her sins call out to her each and every day, haunting her, screaming at her. Blood must be repaid with blood. Pain must be repaid with pain. Grief must be met with grief.

So long as the hatred pulses through her veins, the lashing, the torment, the sorrow, it will all drive her forward.

(FGO Effect:)-Charges own NP gauge by 4% every turn.

Pieces of Silver EX:

According to scripture, the price Judas Iscariot received for selling out Jesus of Nazareth to the chief priests was thirty pieces of silver. Upon realizing what she had done by betraying her teacher and friend, she attempted to return the pieces of silver to save him, only to be coldly rebuffed, with the priests scolding her for daring to bring blood money to the temple. Ultimately, these very same silver coins were used to pay for Akeldama, the Field of Blood where she hung herself in despair over her greatest sins.

Even in death, these damned coins follow Judas, strung around her neck as a reminder of her gravest sin. Each coin holds incredible amounts of magical power, and they can be offered up in order to boost Judas's own power, at the cost of the demon within gaining more influence over her. If she offers all thirty at once, she can activate her personal Noble Phantasm, Akeldama, the very same field that she bought with these thirty pieces of silver.

"I hear them... Always. Their clattering reminds me of what I've done... And why I can never accept forgiveness..."

(FGO Effect:)  -Whenever Judas Iscariot attacks, apply 'Pieces of Silver' buff to self, one time per turn(Can stack with other 'Pieces of Silver' buffs). 'Pieces of Silver' Buff: -Gain crit stars equal to half the amount of ‘Pieces of Silver’ buffs -At 30 Pieces of Silver, fill NP Gauge to 300%, and boost NP Damage by 30%. -After NP is used, clear all 'Pieces of Silver' buffs[Demerit].

Active Skills:

Damned for All Time B:

For her role in the death of the Messiah, for her treachery and sin, Judas Iscariot is believed by many to have been subject to eternal damnation, cast within the deepest pits of Hell for eternal torment. Judas herself believes very much the same. Believing herself to be irredeemable, she willingly accepts any and all punishment given to her without complaint, fully awaiting her return to Hell.

However, thanks to the blessings imparted as a Disciple of Jesus, the Thirteenth Disciple recovers quickly from any and all enemy attacks, shrugging off grievous injuries such as limbs being removed, bones being broken, and even her heart being crushed. As a result, her body goes through a constant vicious cycle of being reborn, put back together, and being destroyed once more.

Judas herself claims that this is further proof of how God despises her, refusing to let her die to punish her for her wickedness and faults. A sign that she can never be redeemed or forgiven, and will suffer until the end of time for her evil actions.

And yet... Can this really be the truth?

(FGO Effect:) -500% Chance to draw attention of all enemies to self by 300% for three turns. -Recover 1500 HP at the end of each turn for three turns.

Protection of the Faith EX:

While infamous as 'The Traitorous Disciple', Judas Iscariot has among the highest levels of Protection of the Faith. Unlike many prophets, zealots, saints, and kings who praised their gods from a distance, Judas walked alongside her Messiah day to day. From the day she was cured of her own illnesses, she walked with him, broke bread with him, and preached alongside him. She knew of his dreams and aspirations, as well as his faults and imperfections. She loved and was loved in equal measure.

Even now, in her state of agony and pain, her thoughts are always centered around the man she called Teacher and Friend. While Judas Iscariot does not believe that she can ever be forgiven for her sins, nor does she believe she will ever reach the Heaven that was promised to her all those years ago, she still holds faith in the power and goodness of the King of Men. As a Servant, Judas uses the holy knowledge she was imparted, even when she proclaims herself a vile sinner, all because of the faith she keeps.

More than any Disciple, more than any follower, more than any person who ever lived, Judas Iscariot believed in her Messiah.

(FGO Effect:) -Increases own debuff resistance for three turns. -Recovers own HP. -Increases own defense for one turn. -Increases own attack for three turns. -Apply Guts to self, two times, five turns.

Kiss of Judas A:

It is said that the thirteenth disciple betrayed her Master with a single kiss upon His cheek, signaling to the crowd that came to arrest Him. It is this single act that damned Judas Iscariot for all eternity, fully cementing her as the traitor to God and setting in motion the events of the Crucifixion as well as Judas's own death by hanging.

This moment manifests as a powerful ability, allowing Judas to gain every last fragment of knowledge of an enemy once she kisses them, seeing everything they've done, everything they've seen, and everything they will be. In a Holy Grail War, this ability is especially powerful, granting Judas knowledge to be used against enemy Servants. If used against a divine figure such as a god or demigod, this ability is even more powerful, cursing anything divine and holy with her very existence.

"Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"

(FGO Effect:) -Lower one enemy's defense for three turns. -Decrease one enemy's charge. -Increase own NP Gauge by 30%. -500% Chance to draw attention of all allies to one enemy by 300% for three turns[Demerit]. -If used against a ‘Heaven’ Enemy: --Remove all Buffs(activates first). --Decrease one enemy's charge. --Increase own NP Gauge by 30%. --Inflict Curse on an enemy for five turns. --Inflict Evil Curse on an enemy for five turns. --Increase damage against 'Divine' enemies for all allies(five turns).

Noble Phantasms:

Noble Phantasm: Judas Iscariot - It Would Have Been Better If I Was Never Born

Rank: A+ Maximum Targets: 1 Range: 10m Classification: Anti-Unit(Self)

The very noose the twelfth Disciple hung herself with on that fateful day. This symbol of her eternal shame manifests as a snapped noose tied around her neck. This rope is taut as ever, but even though its rope seems severed, it can extend to impossible lengths to reach whatever target she aims for. Judas can use this noose as a grapple, allowing her to clear vast distances in a single leap or to grab onto a fleeing opponent. However, its most dangerous feature lies in a hidden property of the rope.

If she wraps the rope around an enemy, it forms a knot around the opponent’s limb, and their lives become ‘bound’ in a sense to Judas. Any damage that her opponent strikes her with is mirrored upon her foe, and vice versa. Even if one tries to cut this rope, the strikes will merely be reflected back onto both Yehûdâh and her opponent. Combined with Judas’s Protection of God skill, the battle becomes one of endurance that the victim is likely not to live through. The only way to possibly escape this deadly Noble Phantasm is to cut off one’s own limb that is attached to the rope, or inflict a wound that one can survive but their enemy cannot.

Noble Phantasm: Gateway to the Inferno - Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

Rank: A++ Maximum Targets: ??? Range: 2000m Classification: Anti-World

A powerful Noble Phantasm that manifests as the wound Judas incurred upon her failed hanging. A jagged scar is displayed prominently on Judas's stomach, sharpened into a wicked grin. In reality, Judas Iscariot’s stomach functions as a passageway into Hell itself, and by activating it, the scar morphs into a monstrous maw of a creature, who drags victims into its jaws with its tongue. 

Alongside the innate threat of the Beast's maw, this Noble Phantasm also serves as a pseudo-Marble Phantasm. Due to the mouth on her stomach serving as a gateway to Hell itself, Judas can impose parts of Hell onto the world, creating rivers of boiling blood and towers of fire and bone. With a mere thought, she can change her body's attributes and access a different section of Hell to match the sins of her adversary.

Limbo: Reserved for the unbaptized, the lustful, the greedy, and the gluttonous, that which is known as Limbo is nothing but pure darkness that encompasses an area. A monstrous wind blows strongly in the darkness, and unseen monsters can be heard snarling and growling in the shadows.

Styx: Reserved for the wrathful, the putrid waters of the River Styx flow from the monster's jaws. The waves choke the victims on their own rage, dragging them further into its depths as the damned souls of the wrathful reach out to pull those above them down with them into eternal torment.

Dis: Reserved for the heretical and the violent is the City of Dis. Massive, red-hot spires pierce the earth, forming gnarled and wicked trees made of iron. A boiling river of blood courses through this forest, incinerating those who step too close. Some say this is where the Harpies make their home, clawing and scratching at those foolish enough to enter the forests of Dis.

Malbolge: Reserved for the fraudulent and liars, the Malboge manifests as several pools filled with flaming tar. Those who are caught within the pits of the Malboge are engulfed with flames that will never extinguish. Even those who escape from the pits of the Malboge leave twisted and deformed, inside and out, before they are inevitably dragged back into the depths.

Cocytus: Reserved for the treacherous is the frozen well of Cocytus, the ninth and most fearsome Circle of Hell and the resting place of Judas Iscariot. When invoked, a white mist slowly flows from the devil's maw, and the surrounding area slowly crawls to a temperature beneath absolute zero. Those who are caught within the mist find that their bodies rapidly begin to freeze over, locked in eternal suffering and agony. For some, if they are caught in Cocytus's chill, they will eventually be shattered into dust, with not even their souls remaining. This is the final circle, where even the Devil weeps and mourns in eternal torment, never to be freed.

Whatever punishment the demon's maw wishes to mete out, whatever evil stands before the Thirteenth Disciple, the message is always the same.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Noble Phantasm: Akeldama - The Field of Blood

Rank: EX Maximum Targets: 1 Range: 18m Classification: Anti-Evil

In the Bible, it is said that after Jesus’s death, Yehûdâh Ish-Kerayot, in a mix of remorse for her betrayal and fear that after Jesus rose, he would take his vengeance upon her, she bought a field with the thirty pieces of silver and tied a noose around her neck, aiming to hang herself. Unexpectedly, the rope snapped underneath her weight, and her stomach tore open on a sharp rock, spilling her innards and blood throughout the field, leaving the traitor to die in agony. And so, the field was known from that point on as Akeldama, the Field of Blood.

This very same Field manifests as Judas’s Reality Marble, a graveyard with a single massive tree hanging up in the middle, towering over all. Nooses hang all around the tree’s branches, swaying in nonexistent wind. A noose drops down, wrapping around the victim's neck. As the foe writhes in agony, they slip and fall, snapping their neck before the branch their noose is tied around snaps, sending their body plummeting into an open grave.

Due to Yehûdâh’s infamy as a traitor amongst traitors, this Noble Phantasm can be positively deadly in the right situations. The area of effect covers a wide range, allowing Judas to entrap multiple targets simultaneously and subject them to their judgement.

Akeldama has a unique property that few other Noble Phantasms share. The resultant damage dealt is different upon each person it is used upon. The Field of Blood harms foes not through the physical realm, but the spiritual, inflicting wounds on opponents based on the lives they have lived. If one has lived a virtuous and relatively clean life, such as Jeanne d’Arc or Xuanzang Sanzang, the Field will only feel like slight pinpricks across the body. But if one has lived a life filled with slaughter, debauchery, and evil like Nobunaga Oda or Nero Claudius? Akeldama will show no mercy to its victim, inflicting the same pain that the sinner has inflicted upon others tenfold.

All Servants, no matter their defenses or Authority, are equal beneath Akeldama’s judgement. No one, god, devil, or man is without sin, and so everyone can and will be judged within the Field of Blood.

(FGO Effect:) -Deals heavy damage to all enemies. -Do increased damage toBeast, Saver, Star, and Demonic Servants. -Do reduced damage against 'Saint' enemies[Demerit]. -Apply Curse to all enemies. -Apply Disastrous Curse to all enemies. -Inflicts Penitent status on all enemies for one turn(effect increases with overcharge). -Apply Penitent status to self for one turn[Demerit]. -Penitent: Grants these effects: --Decrease Noble Phantasm Gauge each turn. --Increase damage taken each turn. --Decrease damage dealt each turn. --Apply Active Skill Seal one time for one turn. --Apply Passive Skill Seal for one turn.

Voice Lines:

Summoned: You… wanted to summon me? I… no, despite my summons, my penitence remains the same. I am Yehûdâh Ish-Kerayot of the Avenger Class. You may know me better as Judas Iscariot. I know not why you have called upon me for aid... But if this is what my penance decrees, then I shall be your monster.

Level Up 1: …why?

Level Up 2: I see you felt I was lacking. Understood, I’ll try not to be as much of a disappointment.

1st Ascension: Ghhh...! S-so... now you see me for what I truly am... A monster. My own transgressions turned me into this creature... A beast borne of sin and evil. Hahahahaha. What a fool you are. Do you understand now? You have opened the gates of Hell... and nothing you do can ever seal them. 

2nd Ascension: I see the way you look at me. I'm horrifying, aren't I? But I don't need your pity. This is simply what I deserve for my wickedness. Through suffering, I grow stronger. Through agony, I grow more resolute. The pain from each battle drives me to move forward, and by my soul, I swear I will not fail you.

3rd Ascension: …what is this? Why... Why do I not feel the pain anymore? Why am I dressed like... like I was back then? I don't understand... Is this meant to mock me? To remind me what I cast away? Or... maybe it means I can... ...no. Never mind me. This is just the rambling of a fool.

4th Ascension: *sigh* ...you truly are a pain, Chaldean. I will never understand people like you, who extend your hands to sinners like myself. You do know who I am, correct? I am the Thirteenth Seat at the table, the Traitorous Disciple. I sold the person that showed me nothing but kindness for thirty worthless pieces of silver, killing a man loved by all for nothing but spite and greed. And yet... here we are. I will never understand someone like you... But I suppose it doesn't matter if I do. I renew the vow I made before: I am Judas Iscariot, and for the sake of Humanity's survival, I will be your monster.

Fight Start 1: Some say that it is through pain that we learn the greatest lessons. Allow me to make you very wise.

Fight Start 2: Repent, ye sinners… Your judgement has arrived.

Fight Start 3: Have you come to join me in penitence?

Skill 1: *clinking of coins*

Skill 2: O Lord, this unholy pilgrim invokes thy name…

Skill 3: If that is what you wish.

Command Card Select 1: Thy kingdom come.

Command Card Select 2: Thy will be done.

Command Card Select 3: On Earth as it is in Heaven.

Noble Phantasm Select 1: O, Lord… Turn your head as I do what must be done.

Noble Phantasm Select 2: You hear them, don’t you…? They’re asking you to join them.

Attack 1: Repent. Or perish.

Attack 2: Hmph. Trying to run?

Attack 3: Your judgement has been passed. Guilty.

Attack 4: There you are. Your time has come.

Attack 5: There is no true escape from your sins.

Attack 6: Scared? I would be too.

Attack 7: You cannot escape your final judgement.

Extra Attack 1: Go. To. Hell.

Extra Attack 2: AMEN!

Noble Phantasm 1:

I am The One Who Sold the World…

There is none whose sin is greater than I…

Now… the time has come for judgement!

Suffer as I have suffered! Come forth, Akeldama!

Noble Phantasm 2:

Can you hear them? The people you have hurt…?

You can’t turn away from your transgressions.

You can’t ignore your sins.

They’re calling you… asking you to join them in this pain…

Now… embrace them.

Noble Phantasm 3:

I am the Heroic Spirit of God’s Vengeance.

While I have long abandoned the right to act on God's will…

Tonight, I will happily reclaim it.

AKELDAMA!

Damage from Noble Phantasm: This pain… is nothing…!

Regular Damage: Nnn.

Defeated 1: N-ngh… I guess this is what a traitor like me deserves.

Defeated 2: *sigh* I should have known this was going to happen.

Defeated 3: So… back to Cocytus, is it…?

Victory 1: Thus. Ends. The lesson.

Victory 2: Be you Man or God, Devil or Angel… You answer to me.

Victory 3: It’s not enough… Never enough.

Bond Level 1: You wish to talk? With me of all people? You truly are a fool... It would be better for your time to speak with someone worthy of your kindness. I am nothing more than a bitter misanthrope waiting for a forgiveness that I don't deserve.

Bond Level 2: *sigh* I appreciate your kindness, I truly do. But all the same, I think you have the wrong image of me. You seem convinced that I am some wayward soul who holds some good in their heart. That I can be 'fixed' with genuine words of friendship. Allow me to make things clear between us, then, as friends often do. I hate humanity. With all my heart. With all my being. I despise the human race. And in turn, humanity despises me. Is that understood?

Bond Level 3: Heh. Back for more? I can’t help but respect that. … When I was young, I was born sick and blinded. They called me cursed by God, punished for my sinfulness. Only one man chose to approach me back then. They called Him the Messiah, God Incarnate, the Savior of the Jews. ...I was just happy to call Him my friend.

Bond Level 4: You have no idea how happy I was to know that the first people to lay eyes on me were so kind, so understanding… But I could never understand what people like them thought. How could He look at this world and think it deserved redemption? How could He see the ugliness of the people around Him and think they deserved to be saved? I'll be honest… I still don't understand, not even now. But it's not my place to understand Him, is it? I simply need to have faith.

Bond Level 5: …it's funny, isn't it? Despite every reason I have to hate humanity... I'm fighting for them. Not because of any obligation to Proper Human History. Not because it's my job as a Heroic Spirit. Not even because I believe it deserves to live. The only reason I'm bothering to fight for this wretched thing called humanity… Is because I know He would want me to.

Dialogue 1: You called upon me to help save Humanity. I answered, and will hunt down all who seek to do mankind harm. That is the extent of our relationship.

Dialogue 2: Whether you be a person of faith or a person of secular manner does not matter to me. I will protect you all the same, as He would.

Dialogue 3(Clear Lostbelt 1): Your sins weigh heavy on you, don’t they? The bodies that you’ve amassed, the lives you can never bring back? Good. That penitence means you haven’t lost your humanity.

Dialogue 4(Unlocked at Bond Level 5): “Does it hurt?” That’s a foolish question. Of course it hurts. Every day, every moment, my life is defined by pain and anguish. …but I simply choose to endure. Because what does my pain matter with the knowledge that I hurt the ones I love a thousandfold?

Dialogue 5 (If you have Martha): So, Martha is here as well… She was one of the kindest of the disciples, always concerning herself with our well-being, keeping the peace among ourselves. Even now, I suppose she’d scold me for not taking care of myself. …but I won’t let her burden herself with my problems.

Dialogue 6 (If you have Martha(Unlocked at Bond Level 5)): Martha… I… Why do you bother with someone like me? Me, the traitor who killed the Savior? Me, the sinner who is bound to damnation? Why…? Why won’t you let me rot in Hell?! I… I don’t understand you.

Dialogue 7 (If you have Martha(Summer)): Martha…?! W-what are you wearing?! I-I should go… I’m sorry, but-ACK! W-wait, don’t put me in a headlock-! Damnit all, why do you always have to be such a bullheaded punk?! … *sighs* Hehehe. Never change, Martha.

Dialogue 8 (If you have Martha(Santa)): …who did this to you? Tell me, Martha, so I may introduce myself. Eh? No, no I’m not angry. Why would I be angry? I’m… perfectly… calm…!

Dialogue 9 (If you have Yù Tù): YOU-?! How…? How the Hell did you escape? …tch. Seems like the Chaldeans have you under control for now. But I swear, if you try and pull another one of your ‘games’ again, I will make your last fate seem like a mercy.

Dialogue 10 (If you have Hernán Cortés): Cortés… You haven’t changed a bit since then, have you? No, I suppose you have. Judging from the look in your eyes… You know your place.

Dialogue 11 (If you have the Harpy Sisters): The trio of torturers… They were in the last Holy Grail War I had entered. Celaeno in particular and I had a contract with each other. …hm? Friendship? No, it wasn’t like that. We simply had a desire to see the same person die.

Dialogue 12 (If you have Awilix): The Goddess of the Moon… I didn’t interact with her much before, but even back then, her power was terrifying. Now? It feels like she’s on an entirely different level than before. What happened?

Dialogue 13 (If you have Baron Samedi): The good Baron. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Hm? No… No, I don’t think I’m in the mood for drinking now. Perhaps another day.

Dialogue 14 (If you have The Golem of Prague): Tch… So the Guardian of the Lowi Family is here as well… I’d suggest keeping an eye on that one. That monster… Even if they claim to care for you, they won’t be satisfied until they’ve controlled every aspect of your life. Don’t give them an inch.

Dialogue 15 (If you have any other Fate/Undead Crusader Servants): That rowdy bunch from the battles in Jerusalem is here as well… How annoying. If nothing else, I suppose I’m grateful that we don’t have to fight this time around.

Dialogue 16 (If you have Jochebed/Samael): …thank you. Genuinely.

Dialogue 17 (If you have any Angel Servants): So the envoys of Heaven are here as well? I suppose I’d better make myself scarce then. Nothing good can come of one such as myself being in the same space of angels.

Dialogue 18 (If you have Nero or Sodom’s Beast): You… I’ve heard tales of the mad Roman Empress before, but I never thought I’d meet you in the flesh. I may be a lowly traitor, but I still hold the faith. If it wasn’t for the Master, I would not have hesitated to pay you back a thousandfold.

Dialogue 19 (If you have Mordred or Mordred Alter): The Knight of Treachery, is it? Heh, to think the Chaldean would take in not one, but two traitors… I’m glad you’ve found your true family, Sir Mordred. Treasure them.

Dialogue 20 (If you have any ‘Blessed Conqueror’ Servants): Such arrogance… Such pride… You truly think yourself an agent of His will, don’t you? That your life’s work has all been in His service? Allow me to correct you on that… All the suffering? All the war! All the pain you’ve meted out in His name? Your life’s work… makes Him puke.

Dialogue 21 (If you have Lancelot): Heed my words, sir knight… please… find it in your heart to forgive yourself. My soul is damned for all eternity, and it is a burden I will accept. But you? You deserve your happiness. Take it.

Dialogue 22 (If you have Medusa): Such a terrible fate… forced to live blind and alone, hiding such a beautiful face from the world. The Greek ‘gods’ are such cruel and vile beings.

Dialogue 23 (If you have Hassan of the Serenity): Death by a kiss? How fitting that the two of us should cross paths, Assassin. Though which is worse? A kiss of poison? Or a kiss of betrayal?

Dialogue 24 (If you have David): I… It is an honor to make your acquaintance, King of Israel. An honor I do not deserve. I betrayed your descendant, led him to his execution. So why… Why are you so openly kind to me?

Likes: I’ve long forsaken any chance to be happy.

Likes(Unlocked at Bond Level 5): Interests? You wish to ask about the hobbies of such a loathsome creature like me? Well… I guess I’d have to say fishing. I was never as skilled as Peter or his brother, but just being out on the sea, watching the waves go by… it reminds me of better times.

Dislikes: Do I even need to say it?

About the Holy Grail: …pfft. *visibly holding back laughter*

During an Event: A festival? No, I shouldn’t be there. I’d just bring down the mood. I-hey, quit pulling!

Birthday: It’s your birthday. Hmph. What does it matter to me? I told you already, our relationship is merely that between coworkers. Go enjoy yourself with your friends.

Profile:

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Back when the Son of God walked the earth, He took on twelve Apostles. Among the Twelve, perhaps none are more known the world over as Simon Peter, His right hand, and Yehûdâh Ish-Kerayot, known nowadays as Judas Iscariot, the Betrayer. A selfish misanthrope to her very core, Judas was nonetheless one of the Original Twelve chosen to preach the Word of God to the masses. Her motivations and history with her Master have largely been lost to time, save for one moment.

She is the one who betrayed Jesus Christ to the Sanhedrin for a mere thirty pieces of silver, leading to her Master's execution upon a cross To this end, she led the officers of the law into the Garden of Gethsemane where her Master lay praying, identifying Him with a kiss on the cheek. Since then, the name ‘Judas’ has been synonymous with the word ‘traitor’, and Judas herself has been marked as damned by God, a soul who will forever rot in the coldest depths of Hell, furthest away from Heaven.

"Son of God… Son of Man…! Take pity on me! Save me…!"

… 

"Please… someone save me…”

Bond Level 1:

Height/Weight: 166cm • 51.3kg

Source: Historical Fact, New Testament

Region: Israel

Alignment: Lawful • Evil Gender: Female

Judas is a servant of a constant dour mood, rarely if ever allowing herself to feel any happiness. She constantly puts herself down, even when attaining the greatest victories, believing that, after her betrayal, she does not deserve praise or adulation. It’s for this very reason she keeps the noose she hung herself with around her neck, and carries around the thirty pieces of silver that she betrayed her Master for.

The sound follows her with every step. An echo that rings to her very soul, reminding her of her sins, of her greatest mistake. A song of mourning that will never end.

CLINK... CLINK... CLINK...

Bond Level 2:

For years, Judas followed her Rabbi as He preached to the masses, witnessing as He saved many like her through the power of his miracles. Though He was God made manifest, He chose the life of a mere man, taking solace in the little things. Many a night, when the stars were out, Judas found herself nestled in the comforting presence of her fellow Disciples and her Rabbi, happiness found in her heart.

However, life was not perfect as a Disciple. Nothing ever truly is. For many nights, they found themselves having to go to bed hungry, having to resort to sleeping in the harsh streets. This ended up being the source of many an argument between Judas and her Rabbi. As a former beggar, Yehûdâh tried to convince her master to let them keep any of the monetary offerings that they received for their miracles, while her teacher refused to allow any of his disciples to receive payment for what they did.

It was after one of these very same arguments that Yehûdâh made her most grievous mistake. In a fit of passion and temptation, she chose to sell out the very man who saved her life, in exchange for a handsome sum of money. That evening, whilst Jesus lay in the Garden of Gethsemane, Yehûdâh made her move. Whilst the chief priests and their guards waited within the forest, the traitorous disciple made her way to her Rabbi, and planted a gentle kiss upon his cheek. The signal had been given. But her teacher’s next words would haunt her until the day she died.

“Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

Bond Level 3:

While still haunted over her teacher’s words to her before he was taken away, a new revelation had come to Yehûdâh later that week. Jesus was not going to merely be tortured at the hands of the Romans. He was to be put to death, executed via crucifixion.

Overcome with grief and horror at the realization of her mistake, Judas ran back to the temple where the high priests lay in wait. She desperately tried to bargain for her master’s life, offering the same thirty pieces of silver she received from them days before. But there was nothing to be done. Jesus had already been taken away to face his execution. Even if he wasn’t, the Sanhedren refused Judas's money on account that it was ‘blood money’, money that was now forever tainted with sin.

Fearing for her life’s end at the hands of her fellow disciples and utterly distraught at the knowledge that she had knowingly sentenced her beloved Rabbi to death, Judas made her decision. Buying the area known as the Potter’s Field, the traitor Apostle chose to end her own life, tying a noose around a tree and hanging herself.

And in that moment... Judas Iscariot's fate was sealed.

Bond Level 4:

A scar runs over Judas Iscariot's stomach. A jagged, red line on her torso, symbolizing not one, but two wounds.

The first was the scar from her death at the Potter's Field. It is said that upon the death of the Messiah, Judas Iscariot hung herself by a noose, only for her hanging to fail as the rope snapped beneath her weight. Her body hit the sharpened rocks below, before splitting in two along the stones. Her death was slow and painful, and she died that day alone and afraid.

The second comes from her eternal torment within the deepest pits of Hell itself. Bound to the icy pits of Cocytus for all eternity, her fate is to be eaten alive by the Devil, constantly bitten and crushed beneath the fallen angel's teeth until the time comes when even Hell will be no more. An eternal reminder of her sins and her treachery.

For many who see this scar, it is a symbol of suffering and pain. A horror to shy away from and flee. To Judas, it is merely a reminder. A reminder of the life of sin and the mistakes she has made throughout her life. Some claim that she can be seen tracing her finger along the scars. Musing. Wondering. Mourning.

Bond Level 5:

In many Christian works such as Dante’s Divine Comedy, Judas Iscariot's final fate is to be damned to Hell for all eternity, her body being ripped apart by Satan alongside Brutus and Cassius as penance for her betrayal. But perhaps this isn’t the case. What if the true torture comes not from without, but from within? After her betrayal, the Traitor Saint sees herself as unworthy, putting herself through agony and pain without complaint in a feeble attempt at reconciliation.

But despite how much she thinks herself irredeemable, Judas was and still is a chosen Apostle of Jesus. Like the rest of her brothers and sisters, she wandered the lands, choosing to help the needy, curing ailments and preaching the word of God. She genuinely loved the Rabbi, following him to the ends of the earth and hanging onto his every word. Signs of that same Judas still live on as a Servant, dutifully helping her Master in any way she feasibly can, no matter how much doubt she has within herself.

Perhaps even for the most wicked of sinners, a spark of goodness can be found deep within. All it takes is the right person to reveal it.

Extra (Clear Interlude “Reunion of Apostles”):

“Yehûdâh…?”

“Yes, my Lord?”

“Come now. I thought I told you to refer to me by my real name.”

“Right… Apologies, Rabbi Yeshua.”

“I have something to tell you. It concerns the both of us. Together.”

“M-my Lo-I mean… Yeshua?”

“Our lives are connected, Yehûdâh. Our fates are destined to be forever intertwined with one another, in life and in death. My Father has told me this in his messages to me, and I felt you needed to know this.”

“What are you saying?”

“Yehûdâh… Yehûdâh, I want you to promise me one thing above all else.”

“Anything for you, Yeshua.”

“Promise me… promise me that when the time comes, you won’t lose sight of who you are. Promise me that your faith, in me, in the world, and above all yourself, will remain true.”

“I promise.”

Spiritron Dress:

Avenger of Jerusalem: Judas Iscariot is clad in a leather jacket that goes down to the small of her back and a pair of jean shorts. The noose around her neck has vanished, revealing a set of scars around her neck where the noose once was.

Theme:

Judas Priest - Hell Bent for Leather (Official Audio)

Description:

A punkish outfit from a Grail War only a few know of. A gift bought my Avenger’s previous contractor, as a means of helping her blend in more within society. While more often than not, Judas Iscariot is a bitter, angry woman, she finds herself far more amenable in this state, even if only a little. She lets her barriers down, allowing herself to smile more often and relax her rage. Perhaps it is because even now, the voice of her Master pushes her onwards, encouraging her.

“Avenger… Selfishness is not a sin. To have your own desires. To want to take things for yourself. To want to achieve your own happiness! That is not evil! That is simply what makes us human!”

Voice Lines:

Unlock Spiritron Dress 'Avenger of Jerusalem': …hah. Well what do you know...? To think I'd wear this outfit again. A dear friend of mine took me shopping once, he told me it'd help me 'blend in'. I didn't really care to argue with him, so I just threw on what I felt suited me. It's... nice, getting to be able to dress like this again.. That being said, I can't help but wonder how he's doing now, without me? Did he ever find that peace of mind he so wanted? ...huh? 'I'm smiling for once'? ...I suppose I am, aren't I?

Level Up 1: I suppose I should thank you for this.

Level Up 2: How very… rock ‘n roll.

Fight Start 1: Alright then… Let’s rock.

Fight Start 2: Sorry that I have to get in your way.

Fight Start 3: The time for judgement’s here.

Skill 1: I would start praying. A lot.

Skill 2: You’ll get no mercy from me.

Skill 3: Hmph. Guess we’re doing this now.

Command Card Select 1: If you think this is best.

Command Card Select 2: No choice, huh?

Command Card Select 3: *cracks knuckles* As Martha always said…

Noble Phantasm Select 1: This place is no longer a House of God. Now… it’s merely a tomb.

Noble Phantasm Select 2: I am no redeemer of souls… I am merely the angel of retribution.

Attack 1: Hah!

Attack 2: Sei!

Attack 3: C’MERE!

Attack 4: GET OVER HERE!

Attack 5: Stop. Running.

Attack 6: Hragh!

Attack 7: You’ll get no pity from me!

Extra Attack 1: Guilty.

Extra Attack 2: You’re mine!

Damage from Noble Phantasm: Damnit…!

Regular Damage: Hands off the jacket.

Defeated 1: Not… the jacket…!

Defeated 2: Ngh… Sorry…

Defeated 3: I can still…!

Victory 1: Well then. Are we done here?

Victory 2: I want to let you know I took no pleasure in this. …well maybe a little.

Victory 3: Understand now? This is why I didn’t want to fight.

Dialogue 1: Hmm~ Hmm~ Hmm~

Dialogue 2: Impressed? My Master has quite the taste in clothing, if I must say. Perhaps you might like trying this for a change.

Dialogue 3: Apparently a band has chosen to take upon my name. ‘Judas Priest’ as it were… Call it vanity, but… I quite like the idea of having a band named after myself.

Dialogue 4: You remind me of him, you know that? Not in appearance, nor mannerisms, but how you choose to live your life. You make your own path, independent of what others say you can or should do, but what you believe is right. That’s a good way to live, Chaldean. Never forget that.

Dialogue 5 (If you have Martha): *sigh* I still don’t understand you, or how you can still show kindness to me after all I’ve done… but thank you. It’s… it’s nice, knowing that I can still be loved after all this time.

Dialogue 6 (If you have Martha(Summer)): I have to admit… that look suits you Martha. Those gauntlets that can crush a man’s skull in a single blow. That jacket that screams ‘omen of death’. That piercing gaze. Yes it suits you quite well-ow! Hah! Hey, quit it! Can’t you take a joke?!

Dialogue 7 (If you have Yù Tù): I recommend keeping an eye on that one… The Lunar Rabbit is cruel, duplicitous, and will do anything to get her way. She trapped an entire city in an endless loop for her own amusement. I shudder to think what she can do now that she seems to have become stronger.

Dialogue 8 (If you have Furbaide Ferbend): Oh it’s you. I suppose you’re wanting a rematch for the last time we met, aren’t you? I hope you have more than cheese to throw at me this time.

Dialogue 9 (If you have Baron Samedi): If it isn’t the good Baron himself. Hm? A drink? …I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad. Why are you smiling at me? I don’t plan on making this a habit.

Dialogue 10 (If you have The Golem of Prague): Adama Lowi… Or do you prefer Yoselle? Either way, don’t think your usual schemes can get past me. I know what you did to your own grandchildren, and I won’t let you do the same to the Chaldean.

Dialogue 11 (If you have the Harpy Sisters): Celaeno… It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m glad to see you’ve reunited with your sisters. Would you care to introduce me to them?

Dialogue 12 (If you have any other Fate/Undead Crusader Servants): …why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?

Dialogue 13 (If you have Mordred(Memories of Trifas) or Caeneus(Summer)): …*silent nod of affirmation towards a fellow punk*

Likes: …back in a Holy Grail War, my Master and I bonded over music. He said ‘if you’re going to dress like a metalhead, might as well listen to some of their music’. I admit, I’ve grown fond of rock music since then. It reminds me of him.

Dislikes: …chickens. Poultry of any kind unnerves me, but above all else, keep chickens away from me. Is that understood?

About the Holy Grail: The Holy Grail… Pfft… Ahahahahaha! Ahhh… I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t make fun of your efforts, but the thought of a ‘Holy Grail’ is just… ridiculous. If the Holy Grail truly was a cup that the Master drank from… Well it certainly wouldn’t be a Grail. And they certainly wouldn’t be rare.

During an Event: Hehe. You want to bring me to a party? I believe that there’s entire scriptures dedicated to how bad an idea that would be. That said, if you insist… what else can I do?

Birthday: Happy Birthday, Master. I can’t thank you enough for letting me in. Someone like me… I don’t deserve everything you’ve done for me. … But hey. It’s your birthday. Let’s not focus on the sad stuff for once. I got something to perform for you. Lemme just get that guitar I borrowed…

#fate #fate grand order #fgo #fate fanservant #fanservant #judas iscariot #yehudah-ish-kerayot #behold #the very first fanservant I ever made #I did a lot of tweaking since then but the general character remains the same #judas iscariot has always been one of the most fascinating biblical figures to me #and I decided to run with an interpretation that has always stuck with me since high school #a judas who remains damned not because god doesn't forgive them #but because judas can't forgive themselves #it's an interpretation that's stuck with me since i read the divine comedy for a class #and it's one i really enjoy #regardless #hope y'all enjoy this take on judas #we need more biblical figures in fate #lord knows we got slim pickings(glares at noah and moses)

[askdacast]

Life Series SMP/Eyes and Ears AU Thematic Discussion + Theorycrafting (pt. 1)

WARNING: Extremely long post

Kachow what’s poppin fellas, I’m back at it again talking about boomer block Youtubers and their surprisingly in-depth improv series. Now that the Life Series’ 5th season has finally concluded, I’m back on the lore train and poor Scar is left to suffer the consequences, and Martyn’s concluded yet another lore stream, I decided to compile a long master post of lore notes and theories about what we have so far.

Obviously all the ‘lore’ of the Life Series is purely unofficial; Grian has not approved any of it as being actually official/set in stone for what he intended the series to be. Most of it has been us in the crazy fandom extrapolating their really good storytelling, and also “semi-canonized” by Martyn in what he calls the Eyes and Ears AU (and this post assumes you are familiar with it). As someone who’s been a fan since the beginning way back in 3rd Life, I’ve pretty much hopped on the lore train since the beginning as well (if casually) and enjoying all the different extrapolations/analysis/angst written around the players. Rather than just theorizing lore details in a vacuum, however, I’ve always liked imagining the lore based around the reoccurring themes, symbolism and arcs we’ve seen across the series. I’d been bouncing my various thoughts and theories around these themes for a while, and finally I decided to compile my notes together.

This post is basically my imagining what the Life Series/Eyes and Ears AU story is “about,” as if it were a fleshed-out, long-running and story-driven tv show. Initially this post started as simply a gigantic “Eyes and Ears Theory,” me trying to sus out my own theories/ideas of what the Life Series’ mysteries were based on Martyn’s lore. However, considering that Martyn is ALSO writing the lore on the fly, and I have some details I would interpret differently or change, this ended up less a ‘theory’ and more ‘me writing an entire AU/interpretation of the Life Series as a whole.’ My intention is NOT to ‘correct’ Martyn’s lore, nor to claim my theory as the ‘right’ interpretation; rather, this is my personal interpretation of what the Life Series story is about, based on information shown in the original SMP and in Martyn’s AU.

One last disclaimer: I am ONLY drawing on lore details from the Life Series, Martyn’s lore streams, and Minecraft EVO, and also references to the iRL creators. I am not drawing on any story from other SMPs such as Pirates or Empires; there may be some Hermitcraft references here and there.

This is going to be very long, and a multi-parter, because I can’t summarize to save my life. And I promise I’ll come up with a proper name for my series of posts another time. If you’ve stuck around to read, I thank you.

Part 1: The Overall Plot + Understanding the Watchers

Recap of official lore details

Although Martyn hasn’t given specific details on the Watcher + Listener species (he hasn’t come up with a name yet), we know the following details for sure (from EVO, lore streams etc.)

Watchers + Listeners + The Council are all deity-like beings of the same species, and they all consume human emotions

The Council are the upper ranks/possibly leaders, whereas the Watchers + Listeners are separate factions

The Watchers are at LEAST two high-ranking members of the species (the two dots being outcast from the wider circle, as is their logo)

The Watchers were behind Minecraft EVO, where they gave all the players tasks (much like Secret Life) and eventually ending in them fighting the Ender Dragon separately

While the Watchers may not have been evil in EVO, they certainly became so AFTER, when they began to crave more negative human emotions, viewing them as “tasty” (Martyn’s words), s p i c y

They first kidnapped Grian at the end of EVO season 1, turning him into a Watcher to possibly have him join their ranks, but he’s gone rogue after realizing what their plans for the Life Series were, and plans to rescue his friends from them

The Life Series was the Watchers’ ploy to trap the players in an infinite death game where they betray and cause each other pain, all to harvest their negative emotions. Grian, in defiance to this, takes control as the ‘game master’ to make the whole thing…well, a game, so that his friends can enjoy, have fun and ease their anguish. In Martyn’s words, this is like “pouring ketchup all over the Watchers’ sundae.”

The Listeners (EVO season 2) are an opposing faction to the Watchers who disagree with their methods, although why is unknown. They’ve attempted to contact some players (e.g. Jimmy) before back in EVO in order to oppose the Watchers, but it’s not known how successful they were. They’ve also tried to swap in players in the Life Series before (e.g. subbing Lizzie and Gem for Pearl and Cleo in Lim. Life) in order to sneak them in and try to subvert the game. The Watchers kidnapping Gem for Secret Life is partially in retaliation to the Listeners. The Listeners may not be good and may have nefarious intentions also, it is as yet still unknown.

There’s potentially a third faction, the Speakers, but very little is known about them and Martyn doesn’t want to elaborate on them yet.

Okay, but what are the Watchers even after?

"Accept your fate."

From here on out is my real conjecturing/theorizing. The main question on my mind has been why are the Watchers doing what they’re doing? Obviously Martyn has confirmed that they are malicious deities who find negative human emotions tasty, but this raises further questions. Why exactly do they desire such emotions, or need them to survive (if they do, anyway)? Why do they favour negativity, when the other members of their species consume a wide range of emotions? They were confirmed to be outcast in some way from the other factions for this ploy, so what does that say about them then?

The whole species fundamentally do not understand human emotions (or perhaps do not even possess them)

This seems to me the most logical conclusion. These are powerful deities who can create miniature worlds/dimensions, life, and time to an extent (death loop). They should theoretically be self-sufficient, so I doubt that their consumption of human emotion is for survivability reasons (i.e. I don’t think Watchers will literally die if they don’t consume emotions, the same way humans die without food). What seems more likely is that human emotions bring them some benefit to their intelligence or power that they’d otherwise be quite non-functional without. (Think like the demons in The Promised Neverland, who regress to feral natures/lack of sapience if they don’t eat humans)

The Watchers’ powers and their lab-rat experimentation on the players gives a huge vibe of not being able to understand human emotions in an involved way, but only from a distance. They know methodically things like murder and betrayal cause panic and anguish, so they enforce these experiences through the game, mechanics like the Boogeyman, the Secret Tasks etc. But they don’t really know internally why these emotions come about the way humans do. Being above time, they probably don’t understand why the funny small animals have so much attachment to their transitory experiences and memories (more on this later).

world's angriest pumpkin

The Watchers are Losers, Actually

Going further, don’t you think the Watchers have a very misanthropic mindset all around? “Anguish and panic are s p i c y.” They conversely have a complete disgust for positive emotions, and can’t stand Grian making things fun for everybody. It almost feels like they have the mindset that only things like hatred and fear are exciting, bringing motivation and life to the humans, whereas things like happiness and fun are ‘useless’ because they don’t bring about the same results. Let’s also not forget their name – Watchers – and that Martyn’s confirmed them to be symbolically based off us, the audience. It’s almost like a commentary of the worst of the entertainment industry, of an audience who crave watching anything and everything to satisfy their own desires, even at the expense of the privacy and safety of the entertainer. Given the current state of the internet and social media, I don’t think I need to elaborate how awful things can get.

In other words, I believe the main motivation the Watchers are eating humans emotions is because they WANT to understand and ‘take into themselves’ such emotions. I don’t think they’re totally emotionless – Martyn does portray them with moments of glee and anger. But their understanding of emotions is superficial (self-centered, if you will) at best. As deities with no needs, being above time, they have nothing to be afraid of and nothing to feel sad or anguished over. It’s a boring, dull and empty existence. And that’s precisely why they’ve set up the Life Series game: by kidnapping a few humans and putting them through the artificially constructed wringer of panic and betrayal, they think they can create a human farm of such rich, complex and exciting emotions, all for themselves to enjoy at their own pleasure and fill the void they have.

(Listeners’ side note: If all that is the philosophy of the Watchers, it’s probably not difficult to see how/why the Listeners oppose them. The Listeners likely disagree that negative emotions are the most optimal state of humans, and unlike the Watchers do not think human suffering is just tasty popcorn one can eat at one’s pleasure. Their name – Listeners – implies they’re a more sympathetic faction, as in they listen to one’s troubles and heart rather than take delight in suffering at a superficial level. But if they are the same species, it’s very likely they have the same lack of instinctive understanding of human emotions that the Watchers do, and this could cause…problems.)

Why turn Grian?

All this is also why I believe the Watchers kidnapped Grian + turned him into a Watcher in the first place. Firstly, if they were going to concoct their plan to trap humans, they needed a collaborator from the humans in the first place. Secondly, and most importantly, this collaborator was going to be their only direct source of how human emotions work/feel like, and therefore what were the most optimal conditions needed to ensure their death game would generate the most pain and anguish. They picked Grian because he’s always the ‘leader’ of the SMP players, the person gathering and organizing everyone, so logically, he is the most ‘representative’ of the humans, and the one with the greatest ability to control them.

Of course, it’s also true that Grian was a little $#@% throughout EVO and actively rebelled against the Watchers’ tasks, so making him their collaborator might seem strange. Ignoring the meta reason that the ending was written to explain Grian’s exit from the series. But I figured in this case, they considered the benefits more than the costs. Grian’s chaotic nature is not unlike the Watchers’, considering how much he loves causing pranks and trouble to others. So, as a huge oversight, they think Grian is just like them: he loves to see people suffer, so they think. Additionally, the Watchers are desperate to understand how Grian gets his fellow humans to follow him and do what he asks with little effort. You’ll notice the Watchers have very direct, authoritative ways of trying to wrest control (e.g. the tasks, “do this or you fail”), and they get very petty and upset when people rebel against them (re: Scott’s refusal to be the Boogeyman, their motto is a very demanding “OUR WILL BE DONE.”) They see Grian’s charisma as yet another aspect of human emotions they fail to understand and thus WANT to possess for themselves.

Pictured above: The Watchers, coping and seething

Of course as we know, the Watchers believing Grian would help them is a major oversight. Becoming a god doesn’t just fundamentally change who Grian is, and he definitely doesn’t want to consign his friends to an infinite death loop of suffering. That being said, I don’t think Grianhas truly gone ‘rogue’ so much as taken as much advantage as possible of his ‘deal’ with the Watchers. We can guess the Watchers promised to him some kind of control/leadership over his friends’ circumstances as long as he worked for them, which led to them giving him the keys to the Life Series. In other words, so long as he fulfils their requirements of things being a death game that will generate ‘food’ for them, and lets them revive everyone each loop, he gets to decide how the games go.

And we know exactly what Grian’s done with this: he created the green-yellow-red lives system, he creates a fun gimmick each season, he inserts himself into the game as a player, all to bring out the best and most creative side of his friends rather than the worst. The Boogeyman probably is the only gimmick the Watchers added on their own initiative (re: Martyn’s POV in Last Life) in order to make things more spicy. Probably Grian’s conversation with the Watchers each time goes, “hey, I got an idea on how to bring out the most creative ways for everyone to cause pain in each other, [comes up with some bullcrap justification for the game’s fun mechanics].” I like to think the Watchers were going to make the death games even more vicious, cruel and competitive, but because of Grian’s wrangling he’s convinced them that a slow burn from joy to horror creates better results, and they tolerate it as long as they see him useful.

Memories and Emotions

There is also one BIG detail of the Watchers’ plan I’d like to mention: Martyn claims that the Watchers do NOT erase the players’ memories. At the end of each season, they consume everyone’s emotions so that there’s no more angst/ill will towards each other, and they start each season afresh. The players remember what’s happened in past seasons, but they don’t continue to hold the pain and negative feelings they had towards each other.

I don’t buy this, for numerous reasons.

For one, Martyn has confirmed the Watchers ARE capable of removing people’s memories. The one memory they have outright altered was the ex-EVO players’ (Martyn, Jimmy, BigB etc.) memory of what happened to Grian: they don’t remember that Grian was taken to be turned into a Watcher, and instead remember it as him either going missing or dying after the Ender Dragon fight. All this presumably to not give away the Watchers’ schemes and to ensure they still listen to Grian as if nothing ever happened.

More importantly, however, memories are vital to humanity’s emotional experience and mental health. I am not an expert by any means, but there are studies showing how people with amnesia, PTSD or other conditions affecting memories have flashbacks/emotional reactions to trauma they don’t remember consciously. The Watchers have (supposedly) done something far more simplistic yet fantastic by just eating up everybody’s emotions. All this, even though they see humans as emotion factories, constantly able to generate emotions just by existing, by their ability to draw and create meaning through emotional experiences, and by creating memories – the clearest embodiment of a mortal’s attachment to time (which if you remember, I believe the Watchers have no concept of).

You cannot just tell a human to stop feelingcompletely (under normal circumstances anyway), but especially not if they remember something very very traumatic.

Besides, there ARE clear instances when some of the players remember the events of past seasons and are STILL not over them! Impulse and Tango still being bitter/distrustful after Bdubs betrayed each of them separately, Cleo distrusting BigB for the same reason, Scott referencing Flower Husbands a lot, Pearl feeling betrayed by Cleo/Scott when they supposedly broke up the Gaslight/Gatekeep/Girlboss trio at the start of DL, Bdubs’ “I wanna be your favorite son” in Secret Life, the list goes on. Note that I’ve only listed negative/bittersweet instances; there are plenty more cases of the players remembering past seasons and alliances positively which the Watchers may have ignored. The point is, if the Watchers truly consumed everyone’s emotions to the point of a clean slate, they haven’t exactly been thorough. Nor do I think it’s very conducive for them either – don’t they want players to have enduring, unending, unresolved pain, the sweetest of all (to them)?

No, I think the Watchers HAVE been erasing/suppressing the players’ memories – they’ve just been very selective which ones. Martyn’s said that the Watchers do not care what families or connections they separate so long as they get the people they want and the plans they want. I’m going to assume the players in my theory/the Eyes and Ears AU are exactly the same as their CC counterparts. In other words: they’ve stolen Grian away from his wife. They stole Martyn away from his and his daughter. Ditto with Skizz, Impulse, Tango etc. They stole Scar away from his family. Joel and Lizzie are the only couple they didn’t separate, perhaps because they needed both for their plans, and also so they can inflict the most torture on them by ripping them away from each other, over and over again. And in order to ensure the complete submissiveness of the players to the game, the Watchers have taken away their memories of their past lives, their families, basically anyone who isn’t a fellow player in the game. The Watchers don’t erase the memories of bonds between seasons, because it’s a pain to have to teach the humans how to play all over again, but they erase any memories they find disadvantageous to keeping the game running.

They might even go one step further: while they haven’t erased the players’ memories of who each other are (so as to not cause confusion), they do try to suppress important memories. Things like how they met, the times they confided in each other after a bad day, cried on each other’s shoulder, laughed in each other’s successes, the times they hung out with each other’s families. Imagine the different alliances constantly gravitating to each other, but never being able to remember why they care about each other so much. Imagine Bdubs’ “Come on, you know you and I go way back!” when trying to justify taking Cleo’s stuff, and Cleo laughs back, even though she can’t quite remember what exactly Bdubs has done to warrant that. Imagine Joel or Lizzie trying to remember why they loved each other so much.

They fight and kill some of their friends, and protect others, because…because why again? It’s for survival value, surely, so the Watchers whisper. It’s because the strong must congregate with the strong and leave the weak to die, surely. It’s because Martyn’s always been a loner, and always will be, and should remain so. So they tell him. So they whisper, this is a deathmatch for a reason.

Grian’s Fundamental Rebellion

I think all this is the real reason Grian is rebelling against the Watchers. The most immediate reason is obvious: he wants to free his friends from this death loop. But the deeper reason as to why he’s rebelled is that the Watchers are torturing and robbing his friends of their humanity. They’re taking a tight-knit group of friends who love and would do anything for each other, and turning them against each other in a cruel and unescapable death game. On TOP of this, the Watchers have constantly messed with their heads in order to make them obedient and submissive to their schemes and the worst of their human nature, trapping them in fear, pettiness and paranoia. Of course Grian is upset. Of course he wants to save them from this fate. It’s an insult to who he knows these people to be.

This all leaves Grian in a pretty precarious position. While outwardly the Watchers want to make him a lackey as the “game master”, both he and they know he really wants to save his friends (they probably see it as their ‘cattle’ showing a bit of resistance, which once again they need to suppress). And while on one hand he’s making the games fun to ease his friends’ pain and bring the best out of them, this is just a hotfix rather than a real solution. In order to really rescue the players, Grian’s got to get them to rebel against the Watchers as well. Refuse to play by the rules, by the expectation that they must murder and kill without mercy, without any attachment to their alliances or past friendships. Make everyone like Scott refusing to be the Boogeyman, or Skizz constantly trying to be wholesome (until the bloodlust gets the better of him anyway).

Ironically in order to achieve this, Grian’s best bet is to try to jog everyone’s lost memories of each other and the things they lost, both good and bad. But ultimately, this is going to make them (in the short term) suffer more. This is where you can insert all your Desert Duo/Flower Husband/whatever alliance you like most angst. But more practically, I like to imagine when “the cameras” are not watching, when Grian knows no one will notice or catch him, he sneaks around to the different alliances, even the ones he’s not part of, to ask them how they’re doing, if they remember anything from the past etc. (in a meta sense, the players edit and cut stuff from their videos all the time; who’s to say he isn’t trying to catch a quick chat while everyone’s mining?!) It also reflects in why Grian is constantly trying to make alliances with different people instead of just gravitate to one person, he needs to check on everyone and capitalize on every single opportunity. (besides the meta reason, being that cc!Grian wants to be creative, and sticking to the same person all the time isn’t very entertaining from a content creator perspective)

One last detail about the winners: I don’t have much to say about the fragments yet, because Martyn (sneaky boi) hasn’t yet revealed the significance of the fragments nor of their healing, although he has hinted Bad Things™ will happen if a player gets too fragmented. But I do think the winners are important: with the game finished, they give Grian a very short window of time to talk to one person directly, without Watcher interference. They’re always the last to be killed/swept away/revived by the Watchers, and I can imagine there’s a brief period of time when their souls are being transferred to The Void w/e where Grian can step in and interfere. In my theory, Grian passes on some sort of clue/push to the winners, as like a subtle message about what they can do to stand up to the Watchers. I’ll detail on what I think these individual messages were in part 2. Needless to say, 3rd Life was a traumatic experience for Grian for many reasons, but the nail in the coffin was the fact that he won, and therefore there was no way for him to pass a message onto anyone.

Conclusion

Hooooooo jeepers that was long @A@; Thank you so much for your patience reading this if you made it to the end, I really appreciate it. As I said, I’ve had these lore ideas bouncing in my head for a LONG time, and with the end of Secret Life I couldn’t get out of my head the different trends/symbolism that was popping out of an improv series. It honestly speaks a lot to how genius our favorite block dudes are at improv, that they can turn their improv nonsense into a coherent narrative. I really wanted to try my hand at fleshing out such a narrative, and with Martyn constantly drip-feeding lore to the fans, I had more than enough material to not just put out guesses but construct something a full XYZ. As I mentioned, I enjoy workshopping themes and characters a LOT more than just worldbuilding or “what if this or that” details in a vacuum, hence why I’ve written all that I have, so this was a fun exercise for me all around!

Next time in part 2 I talk about Character Development™, or character specific notes and details I’ve noticed and extrapolated from what we’ve seen of each individual player, as well as what their different arcs across the seasons mean for them within the lore. Stay tuned for another wordbarf!

Bonus list of works I was inspired by for this loredump:

Log Horizon

The Promised Neverland

Danganronpa (ironic as I’m not really a fan of this franchise, but the first game has an otherwise solid premise which I found really similar to the Life Series)

The Fate franchise (when Martyn asked “what’s Fate?” on the latest lore stream, let me tell you I couldn’t stop laughing; NO MARTYN DON’T GO INTO THE WEEB RABBIT HOLE)

Various amazing animatics from the Traffic fandom: Earth, Bang!, most of Melloz Heist’s works, and of course all the amazing fanart

Way too many conversations with my friends about fantasy species

#what have I done #trafficblr #traffic life #traffic smp #life series smp #life series #eyesandears #eyes and ears theory #inthelittlewood #thematic discussion #theorycrafting #3rd life smp #last life smp #double life smp #limited life smp #secret life smp #long post

[pencileraser1]

pencil eraser one. you word your long posts about dps very well so im pointing my frustration with media-ly illiterate people in your direction. im constantly seething with rage at this podcast episode i listened to a very long time ago abt dps bc they said neils suicide was STUPID and OVERDRAMATIC. and i just. i wanna throw up that boy killed himself and ur calling himnoverdramatic what do i even do. i am high a little and this is very much affecting me i cant get up from this couch 🎀

you're completely correct for this i actually have a few thoughts about this so uh bear with me for a second

theres something that sucks so much about this specific type of criticism of this movie in particular to me because of how much i relate to neil. i watched dps for the first time when i was 17, severely depressed and borderline suicidal and i related So Much to him. i didn't write off his suicide or criticize it because i'd Been There.

generally i feel like this criticism probably stems from lack of understanding Why he would do what he did, and there's a number of reasons that that this could be although that would be leaning a bit too much into psychoanalysis and assuming things i don't know about them so i'm not going to go into it really

up until it happens, neil seems like he's doing mostly okay, and particularly if you haven't seen the movie before i could see how to certain people his suicide might seem overdramatic since it's a bit of a sudden shift from mostly okay to suicidal. but the thing is that up until this point, neil has just been doing a very good job at hiding that something is wrong.

my interpretation of the movie has always been that he'd struggled with some form of depression as well as dealing with some amount of suicidal ideation before the movie and had just generally been good at masking it. during the events of the movie he is the happiest he has ever been because of the combination of the poets, acting, and keating. so when at the end of the play his father suddenly takes away all three, and his options are either to confront his father (something that he feels is impossible to do- even if it technically isn't, the fear he has surrounding it of his father listening but not caring, or making things worse than the are, or anything else, prevents him from doing it) or suffer through 10 years of medical school away from anything he actually cares about, he decides to remove himself from the situation entirely instead.

(theres something about the way his suicide is framed within the movie where in some fucked up way his suicide more than anything else is his carpe diem. he's seizing control of his life in the only way he is physically capable of anymore)

neil's suicide isn't rational but that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense or that he's overdramatic. just because logically waiting out the 10 years until he's away from his dad or leaving as soon as he graduates high school or turns 18 or whatever it is is a better option doesn't mean that 1. he'd have the idea to run away early or more importantly think it doable (he tries so hard to not directly disobey his father the whole movie and after doing it one time is now stuck in This situation, additionally, while this is the 50's and in general shit costed less/jobs were easier to get/etc. he is financially dependent on his father and running away without any support is not the smartest decision) and 2. that he'd be physically capable of enduring the 10 years. because 10 years is a long time Especially if it's 10 years studying to become a doctor, something that is both generally difficult and also something he Doesn't Want To Do. and so the sudden switch from happiest time of his life to suicidal throws people off and they don't understand why he wouldn't have done any of the other options that they thing are the logical ones but to him probably didn't seem physically possible.

#neil perry #dps #tw suicide #this might just be nonsense sorry #hopefully coherent

[snekberry]

Please infodump anything you've thought about for the au where elias takes over jon you cannot give me brainrot like that and then not say anything else

HI ALRIGHT <333

So the whole premise of the AU is that when Elias learned that Jon was planning to blind himself and run away with Martin, he decided to act before that could happen by transferring his eyes into Jon and taking over his body.

Random snippets of information about the AU that i daydreamed about :

First of all, Jon is still alive. Since Elias didn't do any irreversible damage to Jon's eyes when he body hopped, Jon is still connected to the Eye, and it refuses to let him die. However, he's stuck in a state of dreaming, similar to what happened after season 3. He's back to watching live statement givers in their dreams.

Jon subconsciously contacts the Web in his dreams. He ends up making a deal with the Web to gain some control over tape recorders so that he can communicate through them as a disembodied voice in exchange for him somehow feeding the Web.

Elias probably notices the spiders that occasionally approach him, but he interprets this as the Web giving him its blessing.

Elias possesses Jon sometime between MAG 154 (where Jon asked Martin to run away with him) and MAG 158 (Panopticon episode). Martin, having isolated himself from the others, doesn't know about what happened to Jon until MAG 158.

With the Web's help, Jon can talk through tape recorders now, but he initially has a hard time controlling this power. When he tries to contact Martin, his voice comes out as a sudden loud garbled noise that startles Martin from time to time.

Peter takes Martin to the Panopticon and tells him that he needs to kill Jonah Magnus. When Martin asks where Jonah's eyes are, this is when "Jon" shows up and says "Exactly where they’ve always been, Martin. Watching over my Institute."

Martin is baffled at first by Jon's surprise appearance, but as soon as he takes a good look at him, he immediately realizes that there is something deeply wrong with his eyes. Peter can recognize quite quickly that those are Jonah's eyes in Jon's body (Peter is... intimately familiar with his eyes LMAO)

Martin gets angry because if Jon is dead, then everything that he did to keep him safe was for nothing. He makes a move to kill Jonah Magnus, but Elias swiftly informs him that Jon is still alive, and he dies, Jon dies along with him.

Martin does not kill Jonah Magnus. Peter loses the bet, becomes enraged, and throws Martin into the Lonely as per the conditions of his bet with Elias. Even though Elias originally wanted Peter to do this to orchestrate a mark for Jon, he still lets Peter do it anyways since he no longer has any use for Martin.

There are tape recorders in the Lonely. Jon suddenly Knows that Martin is in danger, and he reaches out to him. This time, Jon manages to talk to Martin through the tape recorders. He explains to Martin about what Elias had done to him, and he guides Martin out of the Lonely with a disembodied voice. Martin's determination to save Jon is enough to anchor him and bring him back to the real world.

Yeah that's all I thought of so far

#ask #tma #jonah possesses jon au #tma spoilers

[chiiroptereh]

It's maybe dump buuut any changes on Venuses approach towards Bill after a night-whimper story time?

(Context just in case, I'm a month late lololol)

Not at all, anon! I really like this question actually, and the reason it took me so long to answer is cause I really had to think about it, but I think I've got a good one for ya now.

Some complementary snuggles for ya, possibly a continuation of the last piece? Up to you! Answer's under the cut since it ended up being pretty long.

So, Bill is a pretty inherently childish character. He just wants to break rules and do whatever the hell he wants with no regard for anyone else because he can. Venuz lives with a pretty normal kid (Yung Cuz), and I like to imagine that he raised him himself, so Venuz knows how kids act. I think that Bill dropping his mask and revealing that, essentially, when things went to shit he stuck his fingers in his ears and went "la-la-la" instead of dealing with it like an adult showcased that immaturity of his, and Venuz recognized it.

Now, Venuz's feelings in regards to this depend on your headcanons of his character. Personally I bounce around two different ones: the Nuclear Throne interpretation and the Gun Godz interpretation.*

In NT he's just what we would think of when we think of a god; he's immortal, he's all-powerful, he's always been around and has always been a god. In this case, he can afford to be a careless and trusting guy because he can solve any problem with a thought. This Venuz immediately takes what Bill says at face value and lemme tell ya if he wasn't in love with the guy before this tragic side of him sure did it. Venuz likes when his gold chains are squeaky-clean, not his lovers; I think he adores that Bill's a terrifying disaster. (Not that he doesn't want to help of course; I'm sure the morning after was breakfast in bed and excessive cuddles and kisses)

In GG, Venuz is still a god, but he wasn't always. (I think I unconsciously took a lot of this from this awesome fic so credit where it's due lol) The planet runs on a system where Gun God is a title taken by force, i.e., to become the Gun God you need to kill the Gun God. He has been through the grinder and though he's mellowed out quite a bit after becoming Gun God he has issues really and truly trusting people. This Venuz is more cautious and keeps Bill's history of being a master manipulator in mind, knowing that there is no reason at all that Bill couldn't be putting on an act. That being said, Bill is pretty much harmless as long as Venuz doesn't consciously decide to return his powers to him, so he still tries to comfort him just in case.

Both are pretty great I think, one is lower-stakes and fun while the other has room for more angst and character growth. There is a hole in the GG logic though which is that if Bill got his hands on a gun he could just kill Venuz and become the Gun God, so uh...oops? Idk, this ship is still mostly crack and good fun tbh.

*TL;DR: NT Venuz sees this pathetic man and goes "shit. i love him even more now"; GG Venuz sees this pathetic man and goes "ok but if he's actually telling the truth then he needs me so"

Thanks for the ask!

#reqs and asks #sketch dump #yungbill #bill cipher #yung venuz #gravity falls #nuclear throne #cute and cuddly tag

[jogrants]

☆ 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 ▬ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄.

independent, mutuals only, sporadic activity roleplay blog for the 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 companion 𝚓𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝. employed by nora.

# 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 ➭ josephine grant 【 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 . . . 】

【 who is 𝐣𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭? 】 ➭ josephine 'jo' grant is a 23 yrs old escapologist that has been employed by brigadier lethbridge-stewart to work at UNIT in the 70s thanks to a relative in high places and assigned to become the Doctor's newest assistant. idealistic, whimsical and a daydreamer; jo definitely isn't much interested in pursuing a scientific career like the man she's lending a hand to as she finds magic and the surreal much more fascinating than harsh, cold and logical truths. it's because of her mentality, in fact, that she helps the doctor thinking outside the box whenever they feel stuck. she's cheerful, a bit absent-minded, caring and ever the optimist ━ she'll always put her loved ones before herself, even at cost of her own life.

【 𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐥. 】

☆ hello there! name's nora ( 26 ; she / her ; europe ) and i'm the one moving the strings of this adorable ray of sunshine 🥺🪄 i don't have many rules, but i ask you to respect them so the both of us can enjoy writing together.

☆ now, let's address the elephant in the room that is classic who. i'm VERY new to it myself. sadly, i couldn't find free watchable episodes of one & two's runs, however i did find three's seasons and i've started watching those! i've finished seasons 7,8,9 & 10 am currently enjoying season 12 (i'll watch the other classic doctors' seasons, too, if i find them!) needless to say, you DON'T have to have watched the classic series to interact with me. i'll be more than glad to clarify or hand over information if needed.

☆ elephant in the room numero due: sexism and mocking of feminism in the classic series. some writers had to be douchbags about it and thus the writing fluctuates a lot when it comes to certain female companions. of course, i don't support nor endorse ANY of that bullshit. too bad jo is my character now and i decide how to write her ❤️

☆ basic rp etiquette applies. no godmodding, respecting my boundaries and my nos & avoiding pestering the mun for replies ( especially since i work 6 days outta 7, so i'm just too tired to be online at times ). topics such as gore, non/dub-con & incest make me incredibly uncomfortable, so you won't find them here.

☆ as much as i usually LOVE romantic shipping, i cannot say it's a main focus on this blog at all. jo has a canonical love interest whom she marries later on, though i mainly write her during the time when she still is the doctor's assistant. respecting katy manning's interpretation of her character, i will be playing jo as having crush on her doctor. obviously, i don't expect it to go anywhere.

☆ i LOVE ocs. i ADORE ocs. give me your ocs RIGHT NOW. ( i am oc friendly if it wasn't obvious enough lmaooo ) and selective when it comes to crossovers. if i can see our muses interact in some ways, i'll gladly follow/ follow back!

☆ i will not write nsfw threads under any circumstances. i am very aroace, so it ain't gonna happen any time soon. despite that, i'm still 26 and i'd prefer to be followed by individuals who are +20 for my own comfort.

☆ if you’ve read my rules, could you leave a like to my pinned post? it’d mean a lot. if not, i still wish you a good day! hopefully, we’ll be able to write together soon enough.

credit. blockquotes + psd ;

#☆ pinned post.

[cartograffiti]

December '23 reading diary

I finished 4 books in December, which is always a month in which I read less. I'm also going to talk a bit about reading challenges!

All the Hidden Paths is the second Tithenai Chronicles book by Foz Meadows. Apparently this is now a finished duology, but I really thought it could have run for many books and I would have inhaled them all happily. Read A Strange and Stubborn Endurance first. They're not light books, but they're remarkably hopeful and uplifting, character arcs of healing from violence and homophobia set in a fantasy/romance/political drama plot. I wanted even more, but that's likely because they were written For Me. I love how Meadows writes culture, the emotional beats knock me flat, and they work in lots of tasty character depth.

I was not wildly impressed with the photography book Accidentally Wes Anderson compiled by Wally Koval. This features photos contributed by a large number of members of an internet group by the same name, and while the pictures are gorgeous, there's not quite enough variety in the subject types. The text is of highly variable quality, never stellar, and sometimes outright tedious.

I love Cat Sebastian's romance series The Cabots, and I thoroughly enjoyed the new novella Luke and Billy Finally Get a Clue, though since no characters from the previous books appear, I'm not sure whether the connection is really justified. Never mind, it's fun and sweet. Luke and Billy are pro baseball players in the 1950s, and when one of them gets hit in the head with a ball, he decides what he really needs for his recovery is to travel to another state, where his crush is house-sitting during a family birth, and they spend the whole time poking at each other until they admit their massive crushes. Cute, and cute in part because they are both a bit annoying and bitchy and find that attractive about each other!

Dubious Documents is a faux-ephemera puzzle book by Nick Bantock which I wanted to buy my mother for a Christmas present, but when I sounded out her interest level I accidentally inspired her to buy it herself. Oh, well! We both solved it very easily, sometimes checking with each other, and had a great time. Every puzzle is a highly illustrated envelope attached to the spine, with a sheet within printed on both sides with collage art. The book has a "clues" page, but many simply cannot be solved without using them (and I don't mean because they're hard, I mean because there's no guidance what you're after just visually), so we both recommend reading them before you get stuck. The hardest one for me had to do with interpreting a sailor's personnel record, and the hardest for Mom required unscrambling letters to make the names of Japanese cities. Unique, pretty, very giftable (if only I'd been allowed to, Mom ;)). We're working on a harder book of his now, which I'll talk about next time.

Reading challenges talk: In the last couple of years, I've really enjoyed using challenges to help me prioritize my tbr (and push me to get off it). Book Riot's annual prompt list is great, I like their variety and difficulty level. Popsugar's is fun, but I have not been as impressed with their prompts, which sometimes feel to me like they were trying to promote a specific book, or do something winky appropriate to the year. StoryGraph's staff-designed annual challenges are very thoughtful, and I'm going to do both their genre challenge and read the world challenge again this year. The last of these has been the hardest to complete each time, by which I mean I haven't completed it, twice, so I'm really hoping this will be the year. It's short (10 books) compared to these others, but it takes more research, as books in translation are less available.

Personal missions for '24: There are quite a few series I'm working my way through, but I'm particularly planning to wrap up The Witcher books, which I stalled out on because another library patron in my area was reading them just ahead of me and kept keeping them out overdue. I'm also intending to get into the Lymond series this year, because I would like to scream and die with certain of my friends. :)

#A case for December: evergreen - frost - wood smoke - cinnamon. #reading diary #bookblr

[incarnateirony]

“ He claims he has connections to the cast's assistant/handlers. In actuality, we do and it drives him fucking crazy, which is why he tries so hard to take us down. It's also the reason he goes after Superwiki so hard because Superwiki is actually working on the show.” the way 2po slipped “/handlers” in there… are those some of his supposedly super itk sources? con handlers? 💀

HANDLERSSSSSSSS HE'S STILL STUCK ON HIS CON BULLSHIT WHY DOES THIS MAN THINK HE CAN GET SUPER SEKRIT ITK SHIT FROM GODDAMN CONVENTIONS WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT OF A CONSUMER

what he's got is the justlurking4nows (was super salty when I had a video interview with mcnally correcting former misinfo she had spread about him), the superwikis (completely missed the loupgarou/rugaru point and gets screened drafts), and a bunch of idiots that don't understand how anything works.

jl4n has even recently locked their account now that people are asking about their involvement in this targeted harassment, doxxing, and everything else spnscripthunt enables. Good.

What this is, is the SAME salty ass coffee runners I spent the last 5 years running circles around still being shitheaded about it. The same bullheadedly wrong sandy cracked cunts as always, banded together to try to attack out the person they were NEVER able to root out, NEVER able to control, NEVER able to win in leak arguments about, and just think they can harass me out while shitting on the show casually.

We're not letting you guys infest the new fandom. We're not. I remember you, justlurking and folks. I REMEMBER you. I remember you're so bad at interpretation you doubled down insisting McNally was unavailable for S8 as an actor even when I had a video interview with him clarifying otherwise, because you DO NOT UNDERSTAND MEDIA LANGUAGE. Hey justlurking4now, remember when your buddy badjess of dumbfuck mary sue screeched at me midlate season 14 that Berens had no intent, WHILE HE SIGNED HIS CONTRACT FOR ONLY THAT REASON?

It's ALWAYS been you same losers, you just decided to bundle together into the server of Biggest Losers That Are Historically Wrong But Sometimes Collect Ok Info.

It's funny. There's only one assistant I've worked with. And to deny that is to pretend you can't see TAW in history. You guys are STILL fucking corny ass scrubs thinking from the wrong angles. What fucking TV suckers convinced they're queens. Go buy another con, maybe that'll help. Or maybe if you guys had listened to the authors years ago instead of deleting their perspectives for your biases--almost every mod in that server is culpable of that--maybe you wouldn't be lost as fuck rn.

gullible ass consumers convincing themselves they're someone and spending 5 years screeching wrongness from rooftops decide to make server of salty screamers that failed out for 5 years,more at 11.

You know why I don't need cons and M&Gs? Because I'm not a gullible consumer nor do I delude myself I can ever PAY for the things I do. That's you guys living in white rich people bizarro world. That's not how this works. Hell the only reason I put eyes on M&Gs was because I knew how bad 2po and the other scripthunt mods were lying and warping them so yeah, we put you guys on watch till you fucked up with the threats.

"he's mad cuz we talk to his handlers and assistants." AH! IRRELEVANT CON PEOPLE AND... [checks notes] well since it's NOT the one assistant, I imagine you mean the failboat dumbfuck that wrote the misha tweet and don't realize it. Or maybe are appealing to random Jared assistants as if that has relevance, since you DID decide to squeal to goddamn CLIF about [checks notes] me looking at roofs in hawaii to see if it's where misha had been the prev week.

Give it up. Your game's over. Fandom's catching on that you're nothing but a dedicated hate server. Of me, of Jensen, of The Winchesters, of the authors. Just bigger and bigger clowns, with bigger and bigger failtrains back that I've been fucking pulling the rug from under for years. You can't retaliate The Winchesters away. It's over, you lost, go home.

[iamanartichoke]

Hi! How was your day? Also, for the ask: what's your favourite book/series of books?

(@cailjei I just found this in my drafts and I am so sorry, I was in the middle of replying and had to stop for some reason or another and I forgot to come back to it)

Heyo! My day(s, since you sent this yesterday, sorry 🙃) has been fine, thank you for asking! As for my favorite books - hoo boy, I don't even know how to answer this, lmao. I have instantly forgotten every book I've ever read. I have 137,000 favorites. I have 0 favorites. I can't decide or narrow it down.

(Cut for length.)

But, a few of my favorite books (probably at the top of the list) include but are not limited to:

I Am An Artichoke, by Lucy Frank - my url namesake. This book is YA and, to be perfectly honest, I don't think I've actually sat down and read it in a decade, if I'm being generous. That being said, it's a very good YA book, with a likeable protagonist and vivid characters; it's one of those books whose lines still occasionally run through my head years later (for example, the title; the protagonist talks about feeling like a prickly artichoke, with many layers that have to be peeled back to get to the core, and clearly that concept has always stuck with me). (tw: eating disorders)

My Name is Memory, by Ann Brashares - I've always really liked this author's style, and the book is beautifully written (though at times a bit over-the-top with the romantic cliches, what can you do), but I'm emotionally attached to it bc it's about reincarnation and the concept of two souls who are always destined to find each other, lifetime after lifetime. One of them always remembers; the other doesn't. I'm a strong believer in reincarnation, and I love a well-written fictional reincarnation story that takes the concept and interprets it however the author wants, in order to fit in with their book's universe. *chef's kiss* The structure of this book is wonderful, as well; it alternates between the two main characters' POVs in addition to alternating between the present and a number of lifetimes from the past -which, structurally, could be confusing but she makes it work. (Among other quotes from this book, this one lives rent-free in my head: People didn't seem to realize what a slender edge they stood on in human history and that every person before them stood on that same edge, thinking it was the world.)

^^ This is where I left off and forgot about this post, so I'm just going to leave it at those two for now, as far as detailed responses go, and just mention several others that are among my favorites:

Breakfast at Tiffany's - Truman Capote

Wasted - Marya Hornbacher (memoir, not fiction)

The Outsiders - S.E. Hinton (along with most of the books she wrote around this time)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky (before it became "trendy" and over-quoted)

The Things They Carried - Tim O'Brien

Goodbye to All That - Robert Graves (WWI memoir, not fiction)

This Lullaby - Sarah Dessen

The Killer Angels - Michael Shaara (- was trying to figure out how to classify this, as it's fiction but it's an imagining of the thoughts/actions/etc of real people during the Battle of Gettysburg, and then I realized, lmao, it's basically RPF)

Alias Grace - Margaret Atwood

and a lot more, obviously.

Thank you for the ask!

Send me "what's your favorite __" asks.

#asks #charlotte replies #random not fandom #favorite books #long post

[idleglowingpixels]

XXY -- July 7th. 2023 - Launch Update (Author's Note)

AO3 was glitching on me, so for whatever reason, it wouldn't post my full note, cutting me off about halfway through. I decided I'd just post the full note on here in a separate post to the update so anyone who wants to read it can.

Hello, everyone! After all this time, we've finally reached the conclusion to the first batch of chapters (I consider 7 an extra chapter, for reasons I'll get into when it releases lol). It feels like yesterday I had officially rebooted the fic by uploading Chapter 1 back in February. If you told me then that the job I started wasn't gonna work out, I think I'd cry haha. But if you also told me XXY would have the sheer amount of support it's gained over the last six months, I'd cry too (but happy tears <3).

Before I let myself get too sappy, let me talk about the happenings of this chapter. Butch closes out the first round of POVs, and we get a bit more insight into how he views things. This version of Butch is a lot more reserved than the Butch I've read in others' stories, as I interpreted his canon self to be less talkative than the others and more focused on the battles ahead. Don't get me wrong, I think I've taken that interpretation a lot harder than I anticipated, but I think having the parallel to Buttercup's outspoken nature is nice. He's also (albeit closeted) femme to foil Buttercup's tomboyish personality, which admittedly wouldn't make sense in canon, but it was a change that I felt worked well.

Speaking of Buttercup, while she's still harsh and snappy with his brothers, she's got a bit of a soft spot for Butch. But unlike the blues, who have openly expressed feelings for each other in front of everybody, they've kept the story between them hidden. And for the most part, it's still hidden… (Sorry guys :'D XD)

Also, XXY has its name officially! Roll credits! Yeah it's a mitosis motif, looks like middle school science class ingraining that stuff into my head was worth something haha. Their logo would look more like X><Y. It represents how though they're a full team now, they started as two separate teams (PPG & RRB). Science isn't even my favorite subject, I just thought of the name somewhere along the way and it stuck. XXY actually came from me merging XX and XY for the teams' acronym pattern (AAB), as well as the whole Chemical X and Y thing referring back to their genetic codes, but finding out XXY is an intersex variation was pretty cool too!

Now to the sappy part, sorry in advance lol. I know I say this a lot, but being able to share my work has been keeping me going during this near-drought period I've had with writing over the last few months. It's been so hard not feeling guilty for my lacking progress, but I know there's been people who have kept up with this fic since its original run in 2020-2021 who waited over an entire year through 2022 to see it reboot this year, and their patience made writing these new chapters all the more worth it.

Before the re-launch, the last chapter I wrote of the original (Chapter 4) was uploaded in September of 2021, and I had made numerous updates throughout the in-between period on that last chapter so everyone knew I was still working on it. I'm so very grateful for everyone who waited through that time frame for the soft-reset.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, all of you, for your support. Whether you've been here from the beginning, just finished your first read through the whole thing at 3am, or you stumbled upon this fic anywhere in between, I'm so grateful you're a part of this journey with me and appreciate the time you've taken to read through this. I hope you've enjoyed it so far.

As always, thanks so much for all the things, including hits, bookmarks, comments and kudos! Stay hydrated, and have an absolutely wonderful day or night!!! <3

#linposts #xxy #author's note #A/N #ppg #ao3 #link in intro post

[lipstickstainz]

true lies - s. r. (7/15)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison

Chapter Summary: Girls night - and Spencer and you accidentally meet each other the day after.

Warnings: a little bit of angst, and fluff

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: I'm sorry it took me song long, but I was really busy. I hope you like it! gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

previous part

"Will you please pass me the can of glitter?", Penelope asks. Everyone gives her confused looks, except you. Your gaze is fixed on the pictures in front of you.

"What do you need glitter for?", JJ asks, taking a sip of her wine.

"This is supposed to be a vision board", she grins, grabbing the reddish can Emily holds out to her. She twists off the cap and sprinkles a little glitter on her hand before letting it trickle onto the glue-covered cardboard. "In my vision, my future is full of glitter. With the cruel things we have to see every day, everything should be full of glitter."

Emily has to grin, but raises her wine glass. The others do the same. "Here's to a future full of glitter." As the others toast and glasses clink together, you silently slide the pictures back and forth on your drab piece of cardboard.

It's been Penelope's idea for you girls to get together on a Saturday night to create vision boards together. It's been a week since Spencer and you spoke, and Penelope couldn't take your suffering anymore. She had tried so many times to cheer you up, but nothing had worked. Your heart was broken, your world was shattered, but Penelope can't take it. Ridiculous.

At first you were against it. In the last days you were just vegging out, your emotions as if erased, repressed and burned out. If you allowed your true feelings, you would break. You got up, went to work and went to bed at night. You weren't capable of doing more than that, because even every breath was far too exhausting.

And then, all of a sudden, the girls had shown up at your door. Their bags were filled with craft supplies, sleeping stuff, and alcohol. Penelope, not knowing what had even happened, had rounded everyone up and decided you needed cheering up. You wanted to slam the door in her face, but there was so much pain in her gaze and only then did you realize that you weren't the only one to suffer. Your friends were suffering with you and their visit was a kind attempt to get you back on track. And it started with them forcing you to shower and put on a sweater that didn't have a coffee stain on it.

"Y/N?", Tara addresses you and it takes a moment for your eyes to focus back on the piece of cardboard in front of you and you realize that you haven't put a single picture, saying, anything on it yet, while everyone else's hands are covered in glue. In your friends' faces you see confusion and pity. You look away. "You haven't picked out anything for your vision board yet."

Because I don't know what my future will look like without Spencer by my side, you reply in your mind. You don't want to pretend you can imagine a future without him when he's been a big part of it for years. And most of all, you don't want to admit it.

"What do you think of this one?", JJ asks, pushing toward you the snippet she's cut out of one of the countless magazines Penelope has brought. The words are written in thick letters. "Trust the timing of your life." Funny.

"Do you want to tell us what happened?", Penelope asks quietly, sipping her cocktail. There's already red glitter on the glass. "We can see how bad you are."

She only means well and she's also a good friend and actually you want to tell, but then it would come true. As long as you keep your conversation to yourself, you can pretend it didn't happen. You could go on as before and hope that everything will work out. But it wouldn't be the truth.

The truth is that Spencer and you would never get back together.

As you begin to tell it, all the dams break. Tears are streaming down your cheeks and you have to gasp in between as the words get stuck in your throat. No one interrupts you, they just stare at you, amazed that you are actually talking. And you don't leave out a single detail. You tell them that you were standing outside his room at night and he slammed the door in your face.That he wanted you off the team and insulted the crap out of you at Rossi's party, only to cuddle with you on JJ's couch afterwards and then call it a mistake. You tell them about the angry kiss, about your fights and reconciliations, and finally you tell them about your last night together and your conversation.

When you're done, you reach for your glass, which you haven't touched yet, and drink the wine down to the last drop.Only when the glass is empty and you put it down do you look at the others again.  Uncertainly, you look around and recognize an infinite number of questions in their faces, which they don't ask - to be honest, you wouldn't have the answers either - and mixed feelings, which you can't interpret despite your good profiling skills. But there's one thing you can recognize in every look you meet: pain. And even though they look at you with a lot of pity, you don't regret telling them about it.

If you break from it, you know the girls will put you back together.

"That's ... a lot”, Tara says first, taking a sip of her cocktail. You nod mutely.

"We always hoped you'd find each other after all”, Penelope confesses, twisting the glitter jar shut.Apparently, she's lost the desire to put more on her cardboard.

"Even though you left Spencer, we always thought it was for a reason other than you didn't love him anymore. You were the perfect couple and we just couldn't imagine it." Up until this point, JJ had been suspiciously quiet. She looks up from her cardboard. "And now you're back, and the way you're suffering right now, we can imagine it even less. So why would you say that to him? If it's not true after all?"

"That's enough, guys. We should change the subject”, Emily interjects pouring wine into your empty glass. You're infinitely grateful to her. Talking has drained you, and just thinking about Spencer hurts. Talking about it doesn't exactly make it easier to deal with it all, but the weight on your shoulders doesn't feel quite so crushing anymore.

"You still love him, don't you?" Penelope sounds hopeful. And you don't want to take away her hope, and especially you don't want to lie to your friends, but it has to be done. You promised, even swore, that the deal would stay secret, and it was already too dangerous to have told Emily then. You wouldn't risk your friends' lives.

"No, Penelope." The glimmer of hope in her eyes goes out. It's a feeling you know all too well.

"I don't want to get too close to you, Y/N”, Tara begins. "But then why do you feel so bad? If you didn't love him anymore, then you wouldn't be so heartbroken, would you?"

And you don't have an answer to that anymore.

The topic is over and will not be brought up again. At the end of the evening, your cardboard is still empty, but you feel a little better and you mentally make a note to yourself that you owe them. When the girls say goodbye the next morning after breakfast - Penelope hugs you a little longer than the others - you head out as well. Thanks to your friends, you've realized that there's nothing you can do about the situation, that you're going to have to deal with it - and definitely not alone - and that sitting lonely in your apartment waiting for a miracle to happen is not an option.

The warm sun on your skin feels good, like a hug, and you reach out to it as you walk to your favorite bookstore. There are many people out and about, walking or shopping. Countless people are sitting in the small cafes, eating and drinking and talking. You've only been back in D.C. for a few weeks and it feels like you've never been away.

Over the past year, you've been on the road a lot, not only in the States but also in Europe. In addition to work that has sent you nearly halfway around the world, you've sat in the Hamburg State Opera, eaten in the cute cafes in Bucharest, and admired the medieval old town in Lund, Sweden. You've seen and experienced so much, met new people, but nothing resembles home. And not being able to be here for a year had been incredibly difficult.

As you enter your favorite bookstore, the smell of old books rises to your nose and goosebumps spread across your warmed skin. How much you missed it. You may have been to other bookstores, but you know this one like the back of your hand. How you've missed this. You walk down the aisles, running your fingers over the various spines before stopping at a book. The cover is a faded red and somewhat damaged, with white writing that makes you want to pull it off the shelf and open it.

You are so engrossed that you don't notice how someone comes up to you and stops next to you.

"I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair," the person begins to quote and you wince, but don't turn around. "Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets. Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day I hunt fort he liquid measure of your steps."

You have to swallow, put a finger between the pages to find the poem again before closing the book and turning around. "Hi."

Spencer smiles at you. "I didn't think I'd run into you here."

You pucker your lips into a thin line. "Yeah, um, I haven't been here since I got back. Wanted to see if it's changed."

Oddly enough, it doesn't feel strange to be standing in this bookstore with him, considering you'd been here almost every day before and this moment is the first time you've seen each other outside of work since you had your clarifying conversation. Nervous, though, you are. You suppress the urge to tap from one foot to the other.

"So, has it changed?" Spencer tilts his head, but doesn't avert his gaze from you.

You shake your head. "Not really. But I guess the salesgirl who had the hots for you back then doesn't work here anymore." You try to lighten the slightly tense mood with the joke, and it seems to work. Spencer laughs out loud.

"I still don't think she had a crush on me." His smile widens, and it's so infectious that you have to smile, too.

"One hundred percent”, you return, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. "It was pretty funny watching her flirt with you all the time, but you didn't go for it."

The bookstore is completely empty except for you and the clerk at the entrance. Silence surrounds you, but it is not uncomfortable despite the circumstances and the new situation. You just stand there smiling at each other until Spencer takes the book from your hand.

"Neruda writes beautifully." He flips through the book once before handing it back to you. As your fingers graze, a flash goes through you, but you try not to let it show. "Very nice poems."

You nod. "I know. Only know him through you”, you answer truthfully.

Spencer has to grin. "True." He runs a hand through his tousled hair. "He's in that book I gave you once."

"Right." You don't want your conversation to end, and you don't want to leave, but it would be best for both of you. You're not ready to be friends yet, and while your meeting doesn't feel awkward, you're not sure how to handle it. You tap the book and look at him.

"I'll go pay for that." You walk past him, but turn back to him. "It's good to see you, Reid." You use his last name on purpose, knowing full well that his first name is reserved for friends. And in your opinion, you're not ready yet.

"It's good to see you, too."

You nod to him again before leaving without turning around again. You feel his gaze on you anyway.

When you get to work the next day, there's a gift on your desk. It's wrapped in brown wrapping paper and a cord is tied around it and tied into a bow. Simple and beautiful. You set your bag down, confused, before sitting down and inspecting it.

"Who's this from?", Luke asks, walking past you to his desk. You shrug ignorantly.

"I don't know."

The gift is slightly larger than your hand, but not particularly heavy. After opening it and putting the paper in the trash can under the desk, you take a closer look at the book. It's black, and the cover features a plain white flower, with the word "poetry" engraved underneath. As you open the first section, you come across something written. You recognize Spencer's handwriting.

"And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom - Anais Nin."

Your heart skips a beat and you block out the feeling spreading through you. You flip through the book and realize it is completely blank except for this poem. The pages are lined and practically screaming to be filled.

"Do you like it?", Spencer asks, sitting down across from you at his own desk. He sets his fresh cup of coffee down in front of him and you give him a friendly smile.

"It's wonderful." You blink away the tears forming in your eyes. "Thank you."

"I found it in the bookstore after you left. And I know you like to read poetry, and I thought you could write down your favorite poems in it." He takes a sip of his coffee.

"That's very sweet of you. Really, thank you, Reid."

"Spencer." A thin smile spreads across his face and you warm. "My friends call me Spencer."

next part

- tags - 

@obsssedwithjustaboutanything // @ashwarren32 // @slytherinbth // @rexorangecouny // @candlemouse // @lexymoniqu // @m3sml // @username2002 // @calliecookie // @haylaansmi // @thehuntresswolf // @skyslowalking // @padsfirewhisky // @criminalminds4days // @criminallyoddsocks // @takeyourleap-of-faith // @vladsgirlxx // @justdianaz  // @x2moonlight2x-blog // @countingthestarsinfinitely // @box-of-fandom-stuff // @sergeantbuckybarnes // @princesssmooshie // @sassiest-politician // @ littledm2000 // @a-broken-pact // @strawberry-tea​ // @sassy-hades​ // @danrad-rdj4ever​ // @takeyourleap-of-faith​ // @smell-my-twisted-shadows​ // @poeticsassandtrash​ // @wintrrrsoldier​ // @peaceluvnirvana​ // @jemimah-b99​ // @lokislilslut​ // @advicefromnixxxx​ // @panicattheeverywherekid​ // @my-guilty-pleasures--of-life // @itsdars @pjmjams // @imagine-this-motherfucker // @sasbb23 // @fivedicksinatrenchcoat // @missyoumaybank​ // @blameitonthenight21 // @s-r-16 // @knee-coall // @hamlewis // @twodirtymindedgirls // @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness // @imdefinitelyfloating // @crazyloca06 // @gardenroses1 // @saspencereid // @enchantedlove90 // @sizzlingclamturtlesludge // @moondustmemories // @bambi-is-my-name // @beg0neth0t420 // @william-shookespeare // @pancake2603 // @ayo-cowbelly // @herbstmelody // @frnks-stuff // @mimischaos // @lilxnvm​ // @archiveofadragon // @burnin-passion​ // @oddobsessionbutotay​ // @chaoticdreamsss​ // @ghostly-ginger​ // @knittingstudyblr​ // @gorbagreb // @biafbunny​ // @ayo-cowbelly​ // @ellyseveronica​ // @saspencereid​ // @takethee​ // @ethereal-stark​ // @shirayuki1204​ // @spencerreidspp​ // @jesuswasnotawhiteman​ // @stinkykay // @exzidss // @ifuckinghatepinapples // @youhaveabadconnection // @kaseyjohnson04 // @vampiracontessa // @princesssmooshie // @gardenroses1 //

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid true lies #spencer reid one shot #Emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #luke alvez #Jennifer jareau #Penelope garcia #Matt simmons #tara lewis #derek morgan

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

#THIS LEGIT TOOK ME ALL DAY #AND I HAD A BLAST #im simply not ready #jiara nation how we feeling #UGH i missed them so much dude #outer banks season 2 #obx #long post #shot by shot rundown #jiara #the pogues #obx2 #john b routledge #pope heyward #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #jj maybank #jarah b #john b x sarah #jj maybank x kiara carrera #cleo #rafe cameron #topper thornton

[gammija]

The final Web!Martin evidence list

Now that canon is done, and we’ve got word of god confirmation that Web!Martin wasn’t complete nonsense, I decided to go back to my lil chronological evidence list and actually clean it up a bit, delete parts that in hindsight weren't all that indicative, and put everything in a slightly more readable format. (Obligatory disclaimer that i don’t and never did believe or advocate for some kind of evil web!martin, and that I'm not intending to connect a moral judgement to martin (or anyone else for that matter) having some of these traits)

So here: The (hopefully, please) final list with Web!Martin Evidence! Presented in order of importance, according to. me

The final (hopefully) Web!Martin evidence list

(In order from most to least obvious)

Spiders

I mean, it’s called the Web. TMA reiterates quite a few times that Martin liked spiders. Sometimes it IS that easy.

MAG022: Martin: "I like spiders. Big ones, at least. Y’know, y’know the ones you can see some fur on; I actually think they’re sort of cute -"

MAG038: | Sasha: "A spider?" Jon: "Yeah. I tried to kill it…" [...] Sasha: [Chuckles] "Well, I won’t tell Martin." Jon: "Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem."

MAG059: Jon: "I have done my best to prevent Martin reading this statement in too much detail. I have no interest in having another argument about spiders."

MAG079: Jon: "Apparently, biologically, his account of the spiders doesn’t make any sense according to Martin."

MAG197: Martin: “What? Because I like spiders? Well, used to.”

Lies and subterfuge

Martin is able to use lying and subterfuge to achieve his goals, and is called manipulative a few times.

Lies:

MAG022: Martin: "[He] became slightly more co-operative after I lied to him and told him that one of the upstairs residents had buzzed me in."

MAG056: Martin: "I lied on my CV."

MAG158: Peter: “But you said –” Martin: “Honestly, I mostly just said what I thought you wanted to hear.”

MAG164: Jon: "You – I actually believed you!"

MAG189: Martin: “Sorry. Sorry, John. Not sure how much everything up there actually understood what was going on. But, y’know, I didn’t want to take any chances so it made sense to… um…” Jon: “Put on a show?” Martin: “Yeah, basically, more or less.”

MAG191: Martin: "That's not true." Arun: "Liar!"

Subterfuge:

The plan in 118, which revolved around convincing Elias that Martin was only “acting out”, to create a distraction for Melanie. (Also compare the way he evades giving a straight answer here with the way Annabelle talks in 196.)

Working with Peter in s4 under false pretenses, to distract him from Jon and eventually try to learn what Peter wanted.

Manipulation accusations:

These, I know, are somewhat contentious, since it’s mostly villains saying this to him. I’m still including them, since

1): From a media analysis standpoint, being mentioned 3 times is a sign to pay attention, even when it may not be the full truth.

2): I only see it as describing Martin’s behaviour in the previous points, not as a moral judgement; Especially since he almost always ‘manipulates’ people in positions of power over him.

Still, if it bothers anyone, feel free to ignore these.

MAG138: Martin: "That’s it? No, no monologue, no mind games? You love manipulating people!" Elias: "That makes two of us."

MAG186: Martin: “I can be a real manipulative prick, you know that?” Also Martin: “Oh yeah.”

MAG196: Annabelle: “Because you always managed to get what you wanted through smiles and shrugs and stammerings that weren’t nearly as awkward as they seemed.” [SMALL SOUND OF MARTIN’S CONCESSION TO THE POINT] Martin: “Point taken.”

The Lonely/the Web

The Lonely and the Web sometimes affect Martin to similar degrees.

In season 3, when Martin is getting used to reading statements for the first time, most of them leave him emotionally affected: MAG084, MAG088, MAG090,

MAG095: Martin: “S-S-Statement… done.” [HEAVY BREATHING & TREMBLING AS MARTIN STEADIES HIMSELF] “I don’t like recording these. There. I-I said it.”,

MAG098: Martin: [Panting] “End of statement.” [Deep breath] “I, um, I think I might need to sit down. Oh. Yeah, I am. Right. I don’t, uh, I’m not really sure if these are actually getting easier or harder. I mean I don’t feel –”

Only the last two statements he reads are remarkably easier. This might be a hint that Martin is just getting used to reading them, but the quote from MAG098 seems to contradict that. Either way, it’s likely not a coincidence that those last two happen to be the Lonely and the Web:

MAG108: Martin: “Statement ends.” (exhale) “That wasn’t so bad…”

MAG110: Martin: “Statement ends.” [...] “I mean, I think it sounds like a Jurgen Leitner book. About spiders. Hm. Good John didn’t have to read this one, anyway. I know he’s not a fan. Although, this one wasn’t too bad, actually! I – yeah. Anyway.”

In season 5, there are two powers’ Domains that actually affected Martin mentally, as opposed to only physically: the Lonely’s, in 170 (and arguably 186), and, depending on your interpretation, in 172, when Martin went exploring without knowing why he did so.

Proximity

Martin investigates a lot of the Web statements during season 1 to 3 (in other words, when the archive team still researches statements). The only ones he isn’t mentioned in during this period are MAG019 and MAG020, when he’s being harrassed by worms, and MAG081, which Jon records by himself outside of the institute.

Most notably, he’s the one who discovered the statement in MAG114, ‘Cracked Foundations’, which is the one statement in the entire show that sets up the interdimensional properties of HTR.

The Web!Lighter passed through Martin's hands first, before he gave it to Jon.

Similarly, Annabelle mostly spoke to Martin in season 5, despite most other Avatars usually focusing on Jon.

Aesthetics

Apart from the above obviously Web related areas, there are some other aesthetics which are mentioned in connection to both the Web and Martin, throughout canon.

These are describing the Web;

These are describing Martin.

Tapes:

Martin is the only character to treat the tape recorders as friends - any other character is either indifferent, or treats them as enemies.

MAG039: Martin: "I think the tapes have a sort of… low-fi charm."

MAG154 Martin: “Oh. Hi. Hello again.” … (small laugh) “Sorry pal, false alarm this time.”

MAG156 Martin: “Mm? Oh.” [HE LAUGHS, GENTLY.] “Yeah. (rustling paper) I was going to read one. Hate for you to miss it!” [SHORT, FORCED LAUGH, AS HE FLAPS THE STATEMENT AROUND.]

MAG170 Martin: “Oh. Oh, hello. What’s this? Wow, retro! What are you up to, little buddy; just – listening? That’s okay. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

MAG190 Jon: "[The tapes] seem to like [Martin]."

Retro:

MAG069: Statement: “I only saw Annabelle Cane once during this period. She wasn’t hard to pick out. She dressed like a vintage clothing store exploded on her, and her short bleach-blonde hair stood out sharply against dark skin.”

MAG160: Jon: “Anyways, don’t tell me the phonebox down there doesn’t appeal to your retro aesthetic.” Martin: “It – might. Maybe.”

MAG163: Annabelle/the Web callying Martin via an old payphone: [ A PHONE RINGS. IT’S NOT THE TINNY, ELECTRONIC SOUND OF A CELLPHONE – NO, THIS IS A TRUE, HEAVY, CLASSIC RING.] Martin: “Uh. John? Uh, J, John – the, uh, payphone that’s – here, for some reason – it’s ringing?”

Hatred of burns:

MAG067: Jack Barnabas’ statement: “I looked up and noticed within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider’s web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke.” “Another held a bag that seemed to be full of candles, while a third had a clear plastic container filled with hundreds of tiny spiders.”

MAG139: Statement by member of Cult of the Lightless Flame: “The Mother of Puppets has always suffered at our hand; all the manipulation and subtle venom in the world means nothing against a pure and unrestrained force of destruction and ruin.” Agnes burned down Hilltop Road.

MAG145: The Web ties Gertrude to Agnes, stopping the Desolation’s ritual (the only Power whose ritual the Web is known to have prevented).

MAG167: Gertrude enlists Agnes’/the Desolation’s help in order to burn her assistant Emma, who was Web aligned.

MAG169: Martin: "Look, I just – don’t want to get burned, all right? It’s, it’s like my least favorite pain ever. [...] I, I legitimately hate burns, alright? They’re, they’re awful, and they scar horribly, and they just – it – it just makes me sick; I, I hate it. Hate it!"

Phrasing:

MAG039: Martin: "I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck. [...] It's just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think."

MAG079: Martin's poem: "The threads of people walking, living, lovi–"

MAG117: Martin: "This last couple of years, I’ve always been running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but, but now it’s my trap, and, well, I think it’ll work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good leaving my own little web. Oh, oh, Christ, I hope John doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, John, it’s an expression, chill out! Besides, spiders are fine. I mean, yes, people are scared of them, obviously, but actual spiders, they just want to help you out with flies."

MAG167: Jon: “Methinks the Spider dost protest too much.” Martin: “Jon –” Jon: “Joking! Just joking.”

Personality:

How applicable these are depends heavily on how you interpret Martin's own personality, so your mileage may vary.

MAG008: Statement: “Nobody ever said a word against Raymond himself, though, who was by all accounts a kind and gentle soul [...]”

MAG123: Jon: "The Web does seem to have a preference for those who prefer not to assert themselves."

MAG147: Annabelles statement: "I discovered a deep and enduring talent inside myself for lying. [...] My manipulations were not intricate, but they were far beyond what was expected of a child my age, and I have always believed that the key to manipulating people is to ensure that they always under- or overestimate you. Never reveal your true abilities or plans."

Word of God and Annabelle

I kinda wanted to ‘prove’ that Web!Martin had quite a bit of evidence to back it up, hence this header being last. But of course, in this post-canon world, there are a few lines that most obviously confirm the theory:

MAG197: Martin is Web enough to be able to read the 'vibrations', like Annabelle, and see Jon and Basira (the latter being especially notable, as he hadn't known she was there beforehand): [CHITTERING, BUZZING AND HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALS CHANGE CADENCE] Martin: "Wait… Wait, hang on, is that him?" Annabelle: "Yes. I guess you’re better with the Web than we thought." Martin: "And – Wait, ha– No, uh… is that… Basira? He – He’s got Basira with him!" Annabelle: "Yes."

Season 5 Q&A part 2: Jonny: “Essentially, it was fascinating looking at the fandom and, like, the Web!Martin believers, because what they were doing was correctly picking up on hints dropped in the early seasons that were later, like, not exactly abandoned, but it was much more like, ‘Well, no, he does have like aspects of The Web to him, but he is moreover The Lonely.’ And that came about very… very organically, really. Because throughout Season 3 and going into Season 4, we had this conversation and we were like, ‘No, actually he's like-” Alex: “‘It can't be, it cannot be, it must be the other way round’ Yeah.”

(Note that they say “throughout season 3 and going into season 4,” which likely means that season 1, season 2, and at least part of season 3, aka half of the entire show, were written with Web!Martin as an intentional possibility.)

If you read all that, thanks so much! Obviously, Web!Martin never really came to fruition, so it's fine if you still don't like it. This is just a post explaining where it was coming from, at least for me and the other theorists I've spoken to.

#the magnus archives #magnus archives #tma #tma s5 #web!martin #web martin #webmartin #or as jonny called it: #spider!martin #tma theory #tma meta #martin blackwood #martin k blackwood #martin #tma martin #magnuspod #i feel like i say this every time too but #when i say martin lies a lot i dont mean that #in comparison to 'normal people' #i mean that in canon he gets specifically mentioned to lie; at a higher rate than the other protagonists #ditto for everything else. im not speaking about real life people who might have these traits. im doing a media analysis #my own real life bedroom curtains being blue dont mean im depressed but in media sometimes aesthetic themes can be deeper signifiers #and tma especially has some very strong aesthetic themes #ok i think im done talking now. webmartin theories always get me rambling #EDIT: oops i changed a part on mobile and now the formatting is a bit fucked #ill fix it back tomorrow #if anyone cares #EDIT EDIT: ok fixed it

[incorrectstevebucky]

Captain America the First Avenger but with Full Stucky Goggles

Okay but Steve and Bucky’s relationship mirrors a romantic relationship from the very first movie. 

In the First Avenger movie after Steve gets the serum and is made to tour instead of fight, he gives up on ever being able to fight or make a difference. Then he finds out Bucky has been captured and he goes from this:

to this:

and he runs to Phillip’s:

and asks him for just “one name: Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th. B-A-”

When Phillip’s tells him that name does sound familiar and was on the list of the presumed deceased. He then immediately runs to the show tent, grabs his props, and decides to go on a one man rescue mission. 

Peggy: Your friend is most likely dead

Steve: You don't know that

Peggy: Do you plan to walk to Austria?

Steve: If that’s what it takes.

When he arrives and rescues the men, he says he’s looking for a Sergeant James Barnes and asks the Howlies if there’s anywhere else someone might be and they respond by telling him that some of them get taken away but no ones ever come back from there.

He then tells the Howlies how to get out and what to do before leaving to go find Bucky. They even ask him if he’s sure and knows what he’s doing and he responds by joking that he’s punched Hitler over 200 times. 

Again, despite other people’s concerns he prioritizes Bucky (despite all signs pointing to Bucky most likely being dead). 

He runs into Zola and starts to chase him before being distracted by hearing mumbling and going in to find Bucky strapped to a table.

This is Steve’s face when he starts to free Bucky and leans over him and says “It’s me. It’s Steve.”

and this is Bucky’s face:

which goes from confusion to the biggest smile when he realizes that Steve came for him. This also somewhat mirrors the winter soldier Hellicarrier scene since Bucky has clearly been drugged with the way hes slurring, his eyes are glassy, and all he can say is his name and serial number but the minute he sees Steve its like he starts coming back to life.

After Steve gets him off the table he EVEN SAYS “I thought you were dead” with so much relief in his voice

Phillip’s told Steve Bucky was on the list of dead soldiers, Peggy told him Bucky was most likely dead, the Howling Commandoes told him that no one has ever come back from the labs alive, even STEVE HIMSELF had doubts about whether or not Bucky was alive and HE STILL HAD TO GO LOOKING FOR HIM.

And then Bucky, who had be tortured for days and is exhausted and in pain, asks Steve if getting the serum hurt him. Even half dead his main concern is Steve.

Then obviously they run into the Red Skull and Zola and the building starts to blow up. Bucky manages to get across to safety but the bar breaks, trapping Steve. 

This is Bucky’s face when he realizes the bar broke and Steve’s stuck.

Bucky tells him there has to be a rope somewhere to which Steve tells him to get to safety

and Bucky responds by saying that he’s not leaving without Steve

The interesting here is that Steve was fully expecting and preparing to die but realizes that Bucky won’t leave unless Steve leaves too.

It doesn't show well in pictures, but Steve is clearly reluctant to jump and only does so because he knows that Bucky won’t leave without him (also just the fact that Bucky was fully prepared to die in a burning factory despite being able to leave just because he can’t leave Steve).

Fast forward a little bit, and Bucky and Steve rejoin the other soldiers and make their way back to camp.

Steve talks to Phillips and reunites with Peggy and just as Steve and Peggy start flirting Bucky yells out “Lets hear it for Captain America”.

There’s been a lot of meta about this scene but the gist of it is that when Steve looks to Bucky, Bucky smiles at him but as soon as Steve turns away his smile starts to falter.

The best explanation I’ve seen for Bucky’s feelings in this scene is that he used to be only one who saw all of Steve’s qualities and potential and everything that made him special but now the rest of the world sees it too and Steve isn't only his anymore (and also he yelled out right then because he was jealous of  Steve paying attention to Peggy more than him).

Then we move to the bar scene where Steve recruits the commandos. After the commandos agree to join him, Steve goes to ask Bucky if he’s ready to “follow Captain America into the jaws of death” (interesting to note, Bucky would be eligible to go home since he was drafted and because he was a POW, but Steve doesn’t even ask, there’s a general expectation between the two that wherever Steve goes Bucky follows). Bucky also tells Steve here that he’s not following Captain America but the friend he’s always followed. 

He then jokingly asks Steve if he can keep the outfit. This part was interesting because before he complained about the outfit and about having everything he ever wanted but that he now has to wear tights.

This next part was when Peggy comes in. Bucky’s reaction is interesting and something someone else analyzed really well before but the gist of it is that Bucky’s reaction is basically jealousy.

His fists and jaw is clenched and what’s more interesting is that the song playing in this part is called “There is Tavern in the Town”. Here’s the good analysis by stevebucks.

Moving on, we have Steve getting the SHIELD and other Captain America stuff from Howard Stark and he then hands him his “ideas” for the suit. The suit design, that he hated before,  is the same as the one Bucky asked if he was keeping.

We then see Steve, Bucky, and the commandos storming Hydra bases before finally coming to the train mission. Fun fact: After Steve says “Now why would I do that?”, the original script had Steve call him a punk and then Bucky respond with Jerk, calling back to the beginning of the movie.

We then have them land on the train and they end up getting separated by doors and a robot man. They’re super in sync through the fight and we have the sad moment where Steve and Bucky again take turns rescuing each other. Steve first protects Bucky with the shield and then Bucky protects Steve with the shied. 

Obviously, we know what happens next. After Bucky falls, Steve ends up at the same bar they were at a few months ago when he recruited the Howling Commandos. (As a side note, of all the depressing things that happen to him, Steve looks saddest at Bucky’s death)

Peggy tries to console Steve by telling him that Bucky chose to follow him and that he should respect his choice and to honor his death (side note: this scene was supposed to be Steve and Phillips originally which may be why it seems a bit callous). 

Steve also comments here that he “won’t stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured”. This is very far from where he was before Bucky’s death when his thing wasn’t revenge but just to do the right thing. Bucky’s death makes his fight personal, it’s what makes him become and Avenger.

Bucky was the reason Steve wanted to specifically join the 107th, Bucky was the reason Steve went from a chorus girl to  Captain America, and Bucky was the reason Steve’s fight became personal and what made him into an Avenger. 

Bucky is the catalyst behind Steve’s biggest character developments in the movie and Bucky and Steve’s relationship is the main emotional and humanizing aspect in this and the rest of the Captain America movies. While its not necessarily or explicitly romantic, it can certainly be interpreted that way (and it makes sense why so many people have).

That’s all for this movie, I guess. I’m just going to leave this here, take from it what you will. 

#idk how to do endings which is whhy the last line is stolen from stevebucks post #stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #stevebucky #steve x bucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #steve/bucky #I did this when insomnia kciked in so any mistakes are bc i didnt proofread #not an incorrect quote

[angstsfordays]

Beautiful Pain

The Falcon And The Winter Soldier (TFATWS) Series

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Warnings: None.

Word count: 1.3k

Prologue

Summary: Post-blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-blip world.

Notes: This series is based on the Disney+ series with my own interpretation as I include my OC in it. A bit late in the game, but I am back after surviving the whole of last year and now closing into graduation! When I knew that this series was out, I knew it was my chance to make a comeback here! 

This is a prologue to give background on the OC. Also, you will get some insight into her history and relationship with Bucky before TFATWS.

Please enjoy and leave a like, reblog or comment to let me know what you think! 💖

This is also the unofficial series masterlist:

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven |

----------------------------//----—————————

Wakanda, 5 years ago

“Hey, I just fed you!” Your brows furrowed in frustration as the little runt of a goat continuously followed you to nip on your loose cotton pants.

You could hear a chuckle from the corner when Bucky came into your view. He was carrying a large sack of fertilizer that was to be used for your edible garden.

The frown on your face slowly curved upwards when you see the beautiful smile on his face. How can a single smile make your heart stop and beat wildly at the same time?

You quickly walked over to where he was, looking at how he bent over to set down the sack before flashing you another heart-stopping smile. From that moment, you only wished to always see him being this happy.

“Steve just wants you to pay attention to him.” Your lips quirked when you thought about how he had decided to name an annoying goat after his best pal.

“Can’t blame him when there’s a pretty girl around.” He continued before he proceeded to open the sack.

You did not know to respond to his compliment but you knew that you shouldn’t think more of it. Steve had told you before of how Bucky was like in the past before everything horrible that happened to him. How he was such a charmer with the ladies.

—————————----//-----------------------——

You wouldn’t have expected it, especially when you met him for the first time. When your powers first revealed themselves in an accident while you were barely a teenager, you found yourself panicking at what was happening to you.

You started finding yourself on the run from Hydra before S.H.I.E.L.D got to you. Taken under Coulson’s wing, you were only supposed to be an asset under close surveillance so that you would not fall into the wrong hands. When you became a young adult, you signed up to be an agent seeing how Coulson was close to you like a father. You wanted to follow in his footsteps to help the world become a better place.

However, given the fact that powers make you a target for Hydra, Director Fury asked you to keep your powers on the down-low. You weren’t allowed to use them in front of others and it was a kept secret amongst the higher-ups.

That all changed when the Avengers initiative was founded. You refused the title but accepted the offer to be part of the team. You once again find yourself at the hands of Hydra once it was revealed that S.H.I.E.L.D was infiltrated from the inside.

You unexpectedly got kidnapped in the mess. When you met Alexander Pierce, you were promised to become an asset to Hydra whether you were willing or not. That’s when you first met Bucky.

You didn’t recognise him at first but the photos that Steve had shown you coupled with the ones you saw in the museum allowed you to fit the pieces together. You still remembered his expression when you first called him by his real name. He didn’t get it at first before you started shouting his full name. That earned you a slap from Pierce himself before he got Rumlow to haul you back into a cell.

As time passed in a blur, the last thing you expected was Bucky breaking you out of your cell and the two of you escaped together. You two stuck like glue throughout the entire time in Romania before he got involved in a crime he didn’t commit.

You fought for him and revealed your powers publicly for the first time. While he and Steve managed to escape, you were arrested for choosing the wrong side and being deemed a threat to global security.

Fast forward, you were brought to Wakanda with Bucky and Steve trusted you to take care of his best pal while he continued to be on the run.

Here you are now, living on a farm with Bucky ever since his programming has been removed. Even though Steve is his best pal, Bucky still feels a distance between him and Steve. They had been separated for more than 70 years after all.

While Steve had only the best intentions for him, Bucky knew he could never be the same old person he was before Hydra happened. Bucky felt like you were the only one who accepts him for who he truly is.

A broken man still trying to recover from his dark past. A man who will never be the same.

You never expected him to become someone else, but only embraced him for who he is. He was grateful that you were always patient with him when he fell into his terrible moods from the aftermath of his nightmares. Bucky felt even more blessed when he saw how you always make him smile and laugh more, reminding him that he is not truly alone and that you were someone he could depend on.

Bucky still feels like it is a dream that he now has you by his side. Who knew that the S.H.I.E.L.D agent that had been planned to become another fist of Hydra alongside him would be the closest person he had now?

The two of you shared more similarities than you realised. Both of you had dreamed of the day you two can stop fighting. Being exposed to the real world since you were a young teen, you started growing weary of it all. You had hoped to find yourself in social work once you retired from this life of constant fighting. Bucky didn’t have any plans for himself for the future but he always hoped you would still be willing to be there beside him.

It seemed easy to define your relationship, right? You two were definitely friends. Confidants, perhaps? There was a constant gnawing feeling in your gut if you two could ever be more. Your feelings for Bucky became stronger with the time you two spent together, but you weren’t sure if it was only because he has been the only constant in your life for the last five years.

While the two of you had your close moments, Bucky never gave the hint that it could allude to more. You weren’t super keen to ruin your friendship either. Bucky has become someone so important in your life that you did not want to lose him. There was no way you want to change anything even if it meant suppressing the growing feelings you had for him.

The thoughts in your head were suddenly interrupted when you hear people approaching. Turning back, you saw King T’Challa and Okoye approaching with more soldiers following behind carrying a case. Bucky stopped his current actions and the two of you proceeded to walk closer to where they stood. You could see the change in his demeanour when the two of you approached closer and saw the case to reveal a new metal arm- specifically Vibranium.

It was a moment of silence as everyone exchanged looks before Bucky spoke.

“Where’s the fight?” You could hear the dread in his voice. Your heart fell at his crestfallen expression, empathising with what he was feeling.

King T’Challa was not oblivious to it either but proceeded to give his response. “On its way.”

You didn’t realise you were holding your breath all this time until you let out an exhale. Looking over to see Bucky with a conflicted expression, your hand reached out to place your hands gently on Bucky’s left shoulder and gave a soft reassuring pat.

You mustered a brave front and showed him a reassuring smile.

“We will get through this together, Buck. As always.” Hoping your words would make him feel better, you were relieved when he returned a smile back at you.

Seeing your optimism no matter the circumstances (especially when the world might potentially come to an end), Bucky Barnes felt like he could do anything as long you were by his side.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x you #tfatws #thefalconandthewintersoldier #angstsfordays #beautiful pain #marvel fanfiction

[farmhandler]

My Everything

Rated: T

Pairing: Shifty/Richie from “Rockababy”

Word Count: 3k~

Summary: Shifty wants to know why Richie likes taking photos of him so much, and he gets his answer--and much more.

A/N: So this comic by the amazing human being @c2ndy2c1d is just really special. And then I wrote a fic because somebody had to, so please read the comic!! I was so charmed by all the characters, and I cannot resist this kind of nerd/jock/coolkid dynamic so here we are. I got permission to write this, so I hope I don’t butcher their characterizations! I tried to keep my interpretations as true to the comic as I could. Enjoy <3

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“How long do I gotta sit like this?”

“Just a minute!” Richie says. It’s the same thing he said ten minutes ago, and then five minutes before that. He adjusts his camera lens and then poses again, taking another several photos for god knows what reason. “Just don’t move. I need to get the right shot…”

Shifty doesn’t move as promised, but his tail gives the table beside him a solid thwap to show Richie just how thin his patience is starting to run.

“Why do you want these photos anyway? You’ve taken like—thousands already, I swear.” 

“This is the first time I’ve gotten photos with your tail entirely intact.” He snaps another photo. Shifty lets out an explosive sigh and turns his head to give his neck a break. He’s lying on his stomach, ass up in the air, posed to give Richie ‘every valuable angle’ to get all the photos he needs for his research.

Research, research. It’s always about that damn research of his. He’s always makin’ Shifty turn this way and that, exposing every part of himself to Richie’s camera. Shifty can feel his face starting to turn pink, and without a doubt he knows the rest of his skin is sure to follow soon. It’s easier when he’s a human and there’s only so many places that can turn colors.

“I was hoping I could find a remedy to make your tail grow back faster,” Richie says forlornly, lowering his camera. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

“Hey, you’re doing great,” Shifty says. He sits up, ignoring the look on Richie’s face and lifts one leg to his chest to give his arm something to lean on. “You helped make that medicine that took my pain away. That was pretty good.”

“Yeah,” Richie agrees reluctantly, staring down at his camera as if a medical marvel isn’t comparable to fixing Shifty’s tail—which was gonna grow back anyway. “But I wanted to figure this one out. I was so close…”

Shifty shrugs. “You’ve got time. Why worry about one little thing?”

“It’s not little,” Richie says, looking up at him. Even through his huge, nerdy glasses, his eyes burn with a passion that always leaves Shifty feeling strangely breathless. “I want to help you, any way I can.”

“So you’ve said,” Shifty says, off-hand, like his body isn’t changing colors. Richie’s gaze doesn’t shift, and Shifty keeps his eyes down at his feet, ‘cause otherwise he’ll never get the color to go away. “Why do you care so much about taking photos of me anyway? I mean—” While Richie stares at him, Shifty wrestles with his words, suddenly finding it hard to articulate something that’s been running through his mind since this whole thing with Richie started.

“What is it?”

“You’re always taking all these pictures because you think the way I look is—”

“—fascinating,” Richie finishes for him.

“Uh huh. Right, fascinating.” Shifty looks around for the pack of smokes Richie keeps for him and finds it on the shelf behind him. He lights it, once again ignoring Richie’s sharp look. No smoking inside, he’s always saying, but Shifty’s been dying for one for hours, and the rooms got great ventilation. “But let’s be real for a minute—don’t you prefer it when I look human?”

It’s not insecurity that makes Shifty ask the question. Well, not completely. Sure, he sometimes feels insecure about being so different from everyone, but he doesn’t wish he was a human.  Hell no—they’re fragile as hell.

Richie blinks at him. “Why would I want that?”

“Well—” Shifty pauses; stares down at his hand and starts the shift, lifting human fingers for Richie to see. “I don’t know, don’t you like it more? I look like you.”

“But you’re not like me,” Richie points out. Shifty shifts uncomfortably, weighing Richie’s words. The way he says it—it shouldn’t hurt, but it unexpectedly does.

Something in Shifty’s face must give him away, because in the next moment, Richie steps forward, his eyes wide. “And that’s a good thing! You’re not like me, you’re like you. And sure, the Shifty I knew at school and around town is a handsome guy, but I also really like the real you.” At Shifty’s continued silence, he continues. “Would you prefer it if I looked like you?”

“Well, no,” Shifty admits. “You’re a human.”

“Exactly. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Richie walks up to him, even closer now, those damn chocolate brown eyes boring into Shifty and makin’ him turn fucking pink. He can feel it happening because it always does around this guy; he’s the only one that can do this to him as often as he does, and the nerd has the gall to act like he has no idea what he’s doing.

He lifts his hands and cups the sides of Shifty’s face, the warmth of his hands seeping into his skin. The way Richie is looking at him—it’s more observational. Maybe he’d even describe it as clinical. Almost like business as usual, with Richie ignoring his personal space and putting his warm hands all over Shifty, only this time, with the topic of their conversation at hand, Shifty can’t take another second of this one-sided embarrassment.

He shifts, his body morphing and skin swirling until he’s almost entirely human. By the time he’s got his human face on, Richie has realized exactly what kind of position they’re really in. With his eyes still stuck on his, Shifty feels a vicious sense of satisfaction when Richie’s cheeks start to color.

“I—you—”

Shifty lifts his hand up over the back of Richie’s hand—the one that’s still hovering by his face uncertainly. “What was that you were saying about me being handsome?”

Richie’s glasses slip down his nose. He flicks his eyes down, and then the color in his cheeks darkens.

Do I have something on my face? Shifty wonders.

“You’re naked,” Richie squeaks. His hands snap to his face so fast that he basically slaps himself and ends up stumbling back, still trying to cover his eyes from Shifty’s naked form.

Huh, he thinks, looking down at himself. Forgot I was wearing real clothes before.

“Come on, sci-fi, it’s not like you’ve never seen me naked before. I’m naked all the time, in a way.”

“Yeah, but—” Richie turns and peeks out from between his fingers, then whips around again. “That’s different! You’re usually wearing clothes why aren’t you wearing clothes now.”

“They’re usually such a pain that I always morph ‘em, but today I decided, why not try wearing some?” He scratches his chin. “Then I forgot about ‘em.”

Seeing Richie so flustered by his human self when he doesn’t seem to give a damn about a naked alien makes him feel…annoyed isn’t the right world.

“Hey,” Shifty says, stalking up to Richie with his cigarette still in hand. He takes a drag and slides up behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist. Richie jolts with a gasp; Shifty does what he does best and shifts, letting Richie feel the way his body changes, morphing back into his alien self. “You don’t think this part of me is handsome?”

“I’m not answering that question,” Richie says. His ears are red. Shifty feels the oddest urge to bite them.

“Oh, so human me is hot, but not real me.”

“I’m not—you’re not—that’s not what I’m saying!” Richie turns around, fixes his warm eyes on Shifty, and points an accusatory finger at him. “I have to remain impartial. It’s bad enough that you’re all around me at home, being…the way you are—”

Shifty takes a drag. “The way I am?”

“Like that! Just like that. Handsome, cool, mysterious,” Richie starts ticking things off his fingers, to Shifty’s disbelief. “I mean, does smoking even do anything to you? What do your lungs look like?”

“I thought you hated all that stuff?” Shifty asks, ignoring the question.

“Well—” Richie’s flush still hasn’t dissipated. He takes off his glasses and starts cleaning them. “Even I can acknowledge that from an objective standpoint, you’re attractive.”

“You think I’m hot?” Shifty says, meaning it as a tease, but it comes out like a genuine question. Richie looks up at him, all intense as usual, and something in his face shifts.

“Yes,” he admits, face flushed and looking a little shaky on his feet. But his eyes—there’s that glitter; the glamor of intrigue that he always directs at Shifty and anything worth a dime in his mind. “I do.”

Shifty goes to take another drag of his cigarette—he isn’t sure what to say—but his damn hand is shaking and he’s reached the butt end, so he lets his hand fall and stares up at the ceiling instead. “Huh,” he says. “Well, uhm, thanks.”

Richie doesn’t reply; instead, he walks up to Shifty and takes the cigarette butt from his hand and tosses it in the nearby trashcan. He has to reach over to di it, and their fingers brush; it feels electric. Shifty inhales, his heart pounding, and chances a look at Richie.

He’s now staring at him with such an intense look that Shifty wants to laugh. But man—those eyes. Shifty would never say it out loud, but he loves the color of Richie’s eyes. He likes the way he looks at him when he’s taking photos, or when he’s sleepy, or when he’s found something new and exciting to fixate on.

Richie’s hand slides over his. He leans forward, and Shifty leans back on instinct, bracing himself against the desk behind him. He’s so close that Shifty can practically smell the aftershave he uses, even though he’s barely grown a single hair on his chin—

“Richard, dinner’s almost ready!” Richard’s mom calls from the landing leading to Richie’s mini laboratory set up in their basement, cutting straight through the tension and demolishing it.

They separate lightning fast. Shifty morphs into a human (with clothes) on instinct, and Richie’s looking down at the table, his face red.

“Richie? Carrot?” She’ll cycle through all the petnames she can think of if he doesn’t answer soon. “You down there?”

“I’m here!” Richie calls. He glances at Shifty, face full of an unnamed emotion. “I’ll be up soon!”

Once her footsteps fade, he sighs and drags his fingers through his hair. Without his glasses on his face, and with his hair slicked back— Shifty wishes he had something to put in his mouth, keep him from saying something he might regret.

“We had better get up there,” he says lamely, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Before the food gets cold.”

“Yeah, we should…do that.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts, reluctant to leave this space. Richie’s mom never comes down there, so it’s practically theirs: the two of them. Shifty is still thinking about Richie’s hand on top of his. Humans run so hot, and Richie’s like a furnace running in the high heat of summer.

Goddamn it, he thinks, grinding his teeth. He feels unexpectedly angry, for reasons he can’t explain.

He turns and starts walking towards the stairs, and that’s when he feels Richie take hold of his arm.

“Wait!” Richie cries, stopping him short. “Shifty, wait.”

“What is it, Richie?” he says, without turning. “I’ve got my eyes on your mom’s monthly meatloaf—”

Before he has a chance to say more, Richie grabs him by the labels and yanks him forward, straight onto his mouth. It’s not graceful by any means—Richie’s glasses nearly poke Shifty in the eye, and the angle’s all wrong, but it’s good. Hell, better than good, it’s great.

It’s chase, with no tongue, but Richie pulls away to adjust the angle and nearly trips backwards over his own damn feet, so Shifty ends up being the one to wrap his arms around Richie’s waist and pull him in for another kiss. And another. And then maybe a few more after that, until Richie has his face in his hands again and—god, his mouth is so soft, and his hands are so warm. Shifty could just melt in him. He’s just glad he’s not shifted, ‘cause otherwise he’d be pink up to his eyeballs. Plus, it’s easier to kiss Richie like this.

The series of kisses lasts probably only a minute or so, but it feels like forever. And when they pull away, hell, Shifty’s really glad he’s not shifted, because the look Richie is directing at him could make fireworks light up.

“That was one helluva kiss, Richie,” Shifty manages.

“Your skin,” Richie replies, brushing his thumb across Shifty’s cheek. For a second he’s worried he’s shifted back, or worse—this form now comes in the same shade of pink, too, but when he looks down at himself he can see that speckles of his scales have crept into his skin. They’re probably on his face, just under his eyes.

“Guess I just lost a bit of control for a sec,” Shifty admits, rubbing the back of his neck. Richie’s eyes widen, the look on his face is the same look he gets when he’s filing away important information for later. “Jesus, Richie, not that I’m complaining, but…what was that for?”

“I wanted…well I—I wanted to do that. Kiss you, I mean, even though I’ve never done it before, so it was probably bad—”

Shifty opens his mouth to interrupt and say that it wasn’t, but Richie continues quickly, the flush on his face down to his neck now. Maybe humans can turn completely pink when pressed.

“But I also wanted to say that I’m sorry. Shifty, if I’ve ever made you feel like you’re just a specimen or—or a lab experiment, then that’s not right. You’re more than that.” He takes Shifty’s hand and squeezes, eyes locked on his. “You’re a kind and intelligent and amazing friend, and you’re so beautiful. No matter what form you take.”

Shifty ducks his head. Praise isn’t really his thing; he doesn’t like being the center of that kind of attention, but on the other hand (and literally, he’s holding his hand), Richie has become an important part of his life he’d rather not do without. He likes having him around, even if it’s for his ‘research’.

“Hell,” he says, not sure what else to say. Richie gives Shifty’s hand another squeeze, and the place where they’re touching tingles. Shifty’s heart is still beating fast, and the words he’s been thinking about just slip out of his mouth. “You saying you wanna go steady, or what?”

It’s almost phrased like a joke, and for a minute Shifty wants to take it back, because how is that anyway to ask somebody out? There’s no way Richie would take that and go with it, but when he looks at his face, Richie’s mouth opens, and then his eyes light up.

“Are you seriously asking me?” he asks, and adds hastily after a long pause, “because the answer would be yes. I would. Very much so. If, um, kissing you wasn’t obvious enough.”

“I’m seriously askin’,” Shifty says, then realizes that while Richie gave him a nice little speech, he hasn’t really returned the favor. “You’re a nerd, Richie. There’s no gettin’ around that.”

“Hey—”

“But,” Shifty continues, raising a hand. “That’s how I like you. You’re wicked smart, and you get me, maybe more than anybody else around here. You’re one of my best friends, aside from Buttons, and when you’re in your element you’re pretty damn cool.”

A smile slowly splits across Richie’s face, until he’s grinning from ear to hear. That hand that’s still holding onto Shifty’s tugs him forward. For a second Shifty thinks he might try to kiss him again, but maybe he used up all his confidence when he did it the first time, because all he does is hold his hand and smile.  

Fuck. Shifty clears his throat. “So we gonna eat, or stand here all night?” Not that he would mind.

“Oh! Yeah, my mom’s probably waiting for us. Come on.” Richie pulls him towards the stairs and Shifty goes without protest. They’re still holding hands, and when they reach the ground floor it isn’t until Richie’s mom finds them that he finally let’s go.

“Honey, I’ve been waiting for ages. What were you two doing down there?” She takes in their appearance and the flushed look on Richie’s face. “Carrot, your face is so red. Are you feeling all right?”

Despite the completely innocuous question, Richie’s face makes a complicated expression and he flounders for a response. “Ah— we— I mean I— "

“Science,” Shifty answers smoothly, flinging his arm around Richie’s shoulders. “You know how it is.”

Richie’s mom looks at them, her eyes flicking between the two, and then she claps her hands together. “Oh, don’t I ever! Well, enough science for the night. Let’s eat!”

“Very smooth,” Shifty says to Richie after she’s gone ahead. Richie frowns at him.

“You’re one to talk.” He raises an eyebrow. “’Science?’”

Shifty shrugs. Richie’s frown softens into a soft smile, and before he can metaphorically attack Shifty with his warm eyes, he steals a kiss from Richie’s half-open mouth, grinning when he sputters at him indignantly.

“Come on, sci-fi, meatloaf’s waiting,” he says, letting his hand linger at his lower back, just a while longer.

#is there a tag yet #rockababy #rockababy comic #read this comic or else #c2ndy2c1d #shifty #richie #a classic dynamic #3k #my fic #what do i know about science? well ill have you know NOTHIN #and it shows #i know it's a crime that buttons isn't in this but with another person my dialogue gets out of HAND guys we don't have TIME for that #couldn't think of a title either!! titles are hard #the summary is kind of a lie im sorry if u thought it would be spicy