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nctinfo · 4 years

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[TRANS] Doyoung, Jaehyun & Jungwoo’s interview with GQ Korea April 2020 issue!

Doyoung

You're wearing a hoodie with a bear on it and a denim jacket. It's the kind of style I normally like too. I enjoy wearing casual and everyday clothes that aren’t particularly in fashion.

What color stands out the most in your closet? sky blue, blue and cold tones are colors I have the most shirts in. Simple shirts that don't stick to your body.

What color shows your taste in music? Can you name a specific record? '추억은 사랑을 닮아 (Memories Resemble Love)', a song on Park Hyoshin's 5th album. It's a different kind of music from what NCT has shown. I think I'm able to do experimental music and music that stands out thanks to the members. I'm doing music I can't do by myself to my heart's content.

Even when you take a blind test you'd be able to guess it's Doyoung's voice because of the clear tone and aesthetics it has. I first started singing in middle school. Audition programs were very popular at the time, and it was the era where unique vocalists began to draw attention. Because I also wanted to make singing my job, I thought I had to find my own color without any bias.

Do you know your own strengths as a vocalist? My mom sometimes jokingly says "who gave birth to such a pretty voice?". I think the biggest advantage is that it has a tone that can blend well into the various genres like Hip-Hop, R&B, and EMD pop that NCT's music has.

When you were performing 'BOSS' a video clip of you raising the two octaves up to three octaves became a big topic. Are you the type that isn't afraid to sing high notes? To tell you the behind story, that range was a bit more comfortable. I prepared in advance to get myself comfortable and to be able to scream as much as I want. At that time, I wanted to be a strong team during live performances, so all the members spent a lot of time practicing like it was a real battle.

NCT 127's second full-length album is just three days away. During these times, what do the members talk about? "Now, now, let's start practicing the choreography for the 100 million views in a week music video", "Practice for the no.1 song on music shows choreography starts now." (laughs) We have a job where we have to prepare something for a long time and then show it all in a moment. If you think too much about the success that is possible, you have no choice but to be focused. These days, as time goes by, I try not to cling too much to that. It is more important to make an album that we can be satisfied with now.

The title song 'Kick It' has impressive dance moves that are inspired by oriental martial arts. We worked together with a martial arts director to shoot the music video. Each member had their own action scene, but everyone was spinning and flying as the camera started spinning. It was amazing. Everyone was so good to the point you would doubt we had just started learning it. I was a bit worried because I'm not the type to be confident in using my body. I was changing my clothes after we were done and while I was wondering how the shoot would end up, I saw that my hands were all cracked. I told myself I had worked hard.

You seem like a person who gives 200% in a moment of crisis. In the variety show <The Law of the Jungle> you jumped into the sea at night without a doubt. I'm the type to do something properly if you're gonna do something careless. I think I didn't want to make it an embarrassing moment. When I jumped into the sea, I was really afraid. Nevertheless, the reason I did it without fear was because I felt like I had to do something because I had come a long way.

Who is like a hero to Doyoung? You might think it's a boring answer, but it's the staff who help us and the fans. I released this recently. After we finished recording late a night I coincidentally had a look around the office. Even at that late hour, there were so many familiar faces. Many thoughts crossed my mind at that time.

Jaehyun

What do you think of the moment you wake up in the morning? 'It's already morning. I have to wash up.' An ordinary routine.

Do you like velvet? My attention was grasped by velvet training pants the moment I entered the studio earlier. I've been wearing velvet outfits on stage and I've been told that it matches me well. Since then, I started wearing it often with confidence.

You wear a lot of various clothes, like in today's photoshoot too, but what do you think shows your charms best? It feels good when I wear a suit. There was also this techwear look from the music video 'Let's Shut Up & Dance' when we worked with Jason Derulo. I like that too.

Have you thought about what you'd like to do if you could make a transformation? I have wanted to grow my hair long since last year. Growing it to the bottom of your ear and then tucking it behind, I thought it looked cool when I saw past pictures of Leonardo Dicaprio or of the hairstyles of Timothée Chalamet.

Do you have something like that? An aura you really want to have. There are people who look simple in ordinary life, but who look professional when they do their job. You can feel their skills. I want to be like that.

It feels just right looking at NCT's perfect stages. What's the highlight of the performance this time? Since debut, we’ve said NCT's style is 'NEO'. We try hard to reach that level every time. For the title song 'Kick It', the music, choreography, and outfits are very conceptual. There are also moves that are reminiscent of Bruce Lee's martial arts. I think our team's synergy definitely comes out when we have new and unique concepts.

This 2nd full album has 13 songs of various genres. Which song do you like most? The is an R&B ballad song titled 'White Night'. It started with the lyrics "it’s quietly getting darker". I was in charge of the first line, and I was focused on the details such as emotions, beat, and pitch. I recorded the "quietly" part several times. I have some attachments to it.

The soft bass tone seems to be Jaehyun's color of voice. I care a lot about tone and emotion, but interestingly, the tone of my voice has become lower than when I debuted. There's a part in me that wants to show myself more by signing than by dancing. From the start, I have received a lot of stress from singing, but as much as that, I also received a sense of fulfillment. I want to continue doing well.

What song would you recommend to someone who wants to hear Jaehyun's voice? 'Coming home', a song that was released last winter. It's a calm song centered on vocals that I sung with Taeil-hyung, Doyoung-hyung and Haechanie.

You said before you like your hands because they are pretty, right? Seeing them myself, I can agree. What do you want to achieve with those hands? I've been playing the piano for a long time, but I want to improve my skills. I feel at ease when I play the piano. And I'm the type to do anything well that requires my hands, the members sometimes call me 'golden hands'. I hope I can do well in anything.

Is there something you're the best at in the team? I'm confident in running. Since I was a kid, I loved sports so much that being an athlete was also a dream of mine. So when it comes to sports, I'm the.... Hahaha

I heard you watch movies when you want to relax. Is there anything you have been enjoying lately? I watched <Baby Driver> again yesterday. I've seen it three times, but the scenes and the music match perfectly, so I get excited every time I see it. I saw <Before Sunrise> several times too.

Do you also look up old stage videos or music videos? I sometimes do, but once I start watching the music videos starting from our debut song 'the 7th sense' to the latest, I will get hooked on it. When I just debuted I was still fresh but also a bit stiff. I also have memories of the Mickey Mouse 90th Anniversary Concert which was broadcasted by ABC in America. During the first tour of North America last year, I developed an aspiration for languages. When I was young, I lived in America for a while and learned some English, which has helped me and I saw how having [language] skills are a benefit.

This album starts with the song 'Elevator'. Where do you want to go up with NCT? As far as we can go.

Jungwoo

I've seen lots of pictures of Jungwoo wearing a fanny pack. Backpacks are big and uncomfortable so I only carry what I need in my fanny pack.

What does it usually carry? Contact lenses, eye drops, nail clipper, masks, bands, and ointments. Eye drops are an essential. My eyes become tired [/dry] when I wear lenses for a long time.

What is the style Jungwoo likes to wear? First of all, it should be comfortable. I usually wear training clothes and I'm often told that NormCore clothes look good on me, so I try to wear items that don't stand out too much. I think flashy things don't really suit me.

What? No matter how you look at it, you wore fancy and bold clothes today. It’s also curious to me. I like to challenge myself to wear different kinds of styles.

What is the image you try to have? I want to have a dreamy and bright atmosphere. I hope that when people see me they are fascinated and are curious about me.

What kind of person for you think is really cool? Justin Bieber. His style and music have his own unique color. Not only me, but all the members are fans too. I saw Justin Bieber's YouTube documentary yesterday. Besides the external stories, seeing him overcome the agony and growing pains of being an artist, made me like him even more.

What is something surprising about Jungwoo? That I'm purely a hard worker. I don't think I have many talents I was born with. I'm more like someone who will achieve results as much as I worked for it. So I put a lot of effort into anything I want to do.

Is anything possible if you just try hard? Looking at NCT's stages, I think there's more to it than just effort. I often look at others to find out how they do it. When we had a stage on the famous American talk show <Jimmy Kimel Live>, I was able to see and analyze the other stages that were on the program. The ways to walk with the camera and how it appears on the screen. So like that, I learn a lot.

Jungwoo has a very clean and impressive voice, but we heard you passed the audition by dancing. This is also kinda surprising [a twist]. When I was in elementary school, I watched the music shows and became interesting in dancing. But later, when I was recording, the music director told me I had a fascinating charm to my voice since he couldn't really tell if I was singing in falsetto or not. After hearing that, I decided to I should develop my voice into a good one and use it as an advantage to show myself.

What is your favorite track in this album? There is this song called 'Pandora's Box' and when I first heard the guide version, the lyrics 'remember this moment, us, our moment' really stood out to me. I imagined how it would be like if we would sing this with the fans at a concert, and I thought it would really turn out great.

When was the most miraculous moment in your life? When I joined NCT. It felt like a dream. I cried a lot when I came down after finishing my debut stage on the music show. I was happy but also felt regret. I remember the members encouraging me by saying "it's okay, you did well".

What do you think is your role in the team? No matter how, I seem to be the mood maker. I make a lot of jokes. If there would be 100 people, all 100 would be laughing. My humor level seems to match well with Doyoung-hyung especially.

The other members say Jungwoo hasn't shown his full potential yet, they say you have a lot of various sides. I think it can also mean that it's still unclear what I will do next. I often hear that I'm pretty unique. Could you say I'm 8D? (laughs) I too, don't know fully yet who I am.

Do you like that personality? There's only one my in this world. I want the person named Jungwoo to become a new genre. New, unique. In order to do that, I have to accept what I have and work hard to show the charms of it.

Translation: Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Grazia Scan — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

#NCT #NCT 127 #jungwoo #jaehyun #doyoung #t:interview #t:trans #GQ #GQ: April 2020

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transgamerthoughts · 4 years

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Guerrilla Radio

I look at Rodney Mullen and I see a kindred spirit. To hear Mullen speak is to go for a ride, the cadence of his voice rising and falling in unpredictable ways. Sometimes, he speaks at a hushed whisper. A low and pained utterance indicating a reverence and yearning that polite society eschews—if there’s one thing folks feel weird about it’s excess displays of passion. When he’s not quiet, Mullen is truly loud. His laugh is a barking chortle. Painful whisperings, awkward celebration. Mullen is a man of infectious extremes.

I play as Mullen whenever I boot up Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1+2, the recently released remaster of earlier games. There’s an option to create a customized, idealized version of myself and I could always play as the Birdman. I think they expect you to play as Tony for a long time; his toolkit is strong and stats are spread nicely. Those things matter less and less as you play. It’s easy to upgrade any character’s stats and customize their special tricks but Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1+2 hardly explains itself outside of an optional tutorial. It is a game superbly confident in the fact that the player will play every portion of it including the menus. That’s a wise impulse; Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1+2 is terrifyingly intuitive and always has been. How else could many of us fully complete it in our childhoods? Still, even though I could play as myself, I play as Mullen because I’ve never felt so magnetically pulled to an individual in my life. To hear Rodney Mullen talk about skateboarding is to hear myself attempt to talk about games criticism. There is a core of a person that we might call “Rodney Mullen” and a layer of societal artifice built around it. There is a soul and a sort of clay surrounding it. It’s easy to understand that his soul is fragile. It requires a clear and powerful nourishment. For Mullen, that’s skating. Every quiver in his voice when he talks about a trick, every pause before he mentions his domineering father expresses the singular freedom he finds on a skateboard. I immediately recognize it as the freedom I feel on a page. I see footage of an impossible flip and synthetically equate it to a good metaphor. I see freestyle groundtricks flow into each other like tributaries into a large river, and I imagine a comma-laden ramble of a sentence. I feel something ineffable. When I watch footage of Mullen or other contemporaries like Daewon Song, something falls over me like a spectral blanket. What they find through ollies, grinds, and reverts, I chase every time I write.

Before I played Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1+2, I was already watching documentaries on my favorite skaters and looking at old tapes. I’m back with my family for a time in quarantine, and my father found my old skateboard. It’s an old Geoff Rowley Flip board. I was always a clumsy person; skating was liberating but I could never have found the expression that someone like Mullen or Rowley have. But I did find it in games, and in writing. That sounds indulgent and quixotic but it’s true. I can’t explain how completely necessary writing is to me. Perhaps it would be easier to say that I’ve reached a point professionally where I never really need to write criticism again if I don’t want to. I survived the daily news grind, produced some things I liked, put up with some bullshit that I didn’t, and emerged on the other side in a new field. War’s over. Except it’s never over. I need to write.

Playing Tony Hawk, I see the process. Every level is a crash course in finding intense purpose in our surroundings. While the action of Tony Hawk occurs at a scale detached from reality, one where tricks flow into intense sequences and it’s commonplace to leap large rooftop gaps, the process of achieving a high score points towards a truth that any skateboarder can attest to: the world is different when you perceive it from atop a skateboard. Your streets become so much more than pavement. You observe what is before you with a keen eye and find a meaning and intentionality that isn’t immediately obvious.

Until Mullen debuted the flatground ollie in 1982—itself inspired by Alan Gefland’s technique for freehand aerial vert tricks—the street was less explored than parks and vertical ramps. Flat ground competitions were “freestyle” competitions full of pogo tricks and manuals. The ability to leap into the air meant there were new tricks that could be developed. Mullen pioneered further tricks like the kickflip and the impossible entirely because of the new freedom the ollie offered. But the ollie wasn’t just a foundation for new tricks; it opened up the streets to exploration. Skating could move out of the parks. This proved an essential step to keeping the sport alive.

This widening freedom constitutes the core of Tony Hawk’s gameplay. Although there are plenty of vert tricks and Hawk himself is classified in game as a vert skater, the majority of each level’s gameplay is devoted to exploration. Finding hidden video tapes, jumping over parked cars, wall-riding to destroy schoolyard bells. These objectives are about navigating real spaces albeit ones that are somewhat exaggerated. It is contingent on the player to observe the world through the eyes of a skater. Tony Hawk doesn’t capture the realistic mechanics of skating but it does capture the creative sentiment. In order to complete objectives and also achieve high scores, they need to think like a skater.

To hear Mullen talk about developing tricks and the ways in which skating expanded in the 80s, you’d think little revolutionary was happening. For Mullen, tricks were about expression. These various flips and techniques weren’t about pushing the boundaries of skating. They were, first and foremost, the ways in which a shy kid from a strict Gainesville home expressed himself to the world. They were about asserting his value as an individual and expressing the ineffable parts of himself that he could not express any other way. That individual desire fed into a larger ecosystem where his tricks could be adapted and integrated into an ever-evolving language. The personal became conversational. The conversational became foundational.

I think about these processes and apply them to my own field, although I wonder if I can even call criticism my home anymore. I didn’t write about games because I thought there could be a career in it. I didn’t write about games because I saw starting my blog as a pathway to outlets or studios. I wrote and still write because it is the only way I have as a still-lonely kid from New Hampshire to express something fundamental about myself. I write because it is the only way I’ve ever felt like I’ve been heard. Let me be clear: this is the comparison I’ll make between myself and Mullen. I’m not implying that I’ve done anything so important as he has. When I see Mullen, I see someone who can’t stop. Because stopping means moving back into a silent space.

That space is painful. I do not make friends easily and struggle to keep them. I am awkward and have, in my life, only found a handful of people who I believe have ever seen the person I truly am. Writing, then, is a way to shed layers and layers of confusion and performance in favor of something authentic.

youtube

When I navigate a Tony Hawk level or watch a tape of my favorite skaters, I see the writing process spread before me. To engage in criticism is to find yourself in a new space every time you play a game. There are a variety of potential objectives and angles that you can seek out and achieve. In order to do those in a sensible fashion, you need to explore and familiarize yourself with the space and then perceive the spaces where you can move, combo-like, from one point to another. In-between, you add flourishes and tricks that express something not only about the space you are in but the person you are. Done well, you show that the metaphorical school-yard is far more than a school-yard. It is a playground, it is a battlefield, it is an unexplored land fit for mapping. A writer, like a skater, perceives certain spaces differently. A Metal Gear military installation becomes a metaphor for self-delusion. The world of Dark Souls, whether in the meanderings of the first entry or the broken spaces of the second, expresses something fundamental about the nature of memory. The violence of The Last of Us Part II (and who chiefly suffers in that world) speaks to the biases of the writers.

There’s a catch though. A difference between what Mullen is talking about and the current reality of games criticism. Where Mullen speaks of his individual expression flowing into a communal effort where skaters are engaged in a wider conversation, games criticism has rarely felt so cohesive. It is a balkanized space where writers are often separated from each other. Mainstream writers hardly read the important fringe spaces, academics ignore anyone without their pedigree. There is a lack of institutional or history knowledge because there’s no real tradition of mentorship or places where that history is documented satisfactorily. In journalistic spaces, writers burn out in the face of institutional failures that have led to shoddy reportage and a lack of protection against a reactionary games culture. There is also no pathway for fresh faces to slot into the leadership spaces that could actually address structural issues. Critically, while there’s hundreds of YouTubers and other content creators bringing criticism to the masses, there’s few times where critical terms or concepts carry over into the broader culture. We do not have the same degree of literacy amongst players as, say, films do among film-goers. This is not to say these things are completely absent. I’ve seen moments where the isolated spaces of games writing interact. When academic writers like Frank Lantz and Ian Bogost wrote about narrative in 2015, a cadre of alt-space writers directly engaged with their work in a debate that helped to solidify understandings of ludology and narratology even further that what had been expressed by writers like Gonzolo Frasca. Writers like Stephen Beirne and Durante Pierpaoli coined the terms ludo-fundamentalism and ludo-centrism to better codify schools of thought that dismissed holistic criticism in favor of games systems analysis. Yet, this is not something widely remembered either by academics or players. And while it’s tempting to self-critique and say that I’m overplaying the importance of that moment because of my proximity to it, I think it’s illustrative of the critical sphere’s major failures.

Conversations come and go in flashes, very little is integrated into the whole, and we largely forget everything that’s come before in favor of repetitious debates and torturous re-litigations. Beyond this, there’s very little discussion between writers. There’s less letter series and response pieces and very little sense that any real conversations are taking place. Writing might be the realm of individual expression that that expression hardly feeds into a larger pool where concepts can be iterated on. This is, more than anything else, the biggest failure of games writing. I have found deep personal expression in my writing and yes, there is a community. But what about our processes are communal? Perhaps nothing at all.

In addition to Tony Hawk, my current gameplay indulgence is Pathologic. The two could not be more different. One is accommodating and celebratory. It gives the player ample ability to navigate a level and express themselves. The other is oppressive and continually stymies all attempts at progress. Yet, as I play Pathologic I pause. My character, the surgeon Artemy Burakh is approached by the Kin, the tribesmen and women who occupy the steppe outside his home-town. Artemy is a “menkhu,” a group of surgeons and steppe-folk who perform vivisections. They are architects of the flesh. It is said that they are “Those Who Know The Lines.”

I load up Tony Hawk and play a competition map at a skate-park in Chicago. In order to succeed and get the gold medal, I also search for the lines. I’ve always been searching. With every game, with every word I search for the lines. Mullen needs to skate. Artemy needs to heal the sick. I need to write.

#tony hawk #tony hawk's pro skater #pathologic

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soliti · 3 years

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ASTRID SWAN

1. Taylor Swift: Folklore (2020, album) This year the so-called mainstream and the sidelines flow into each other. There are no borders between formula, selling, style and that is freeing for all who make art. Maybe in that sense a global pandemic is putting us on a more even creative keel. It’s providing time for all to actually make art rather than to focus on its marketing. Maybe. Taylor Swift’s first quarantine album became my favorite immediately. I have had it on probably every day for the past months. The marriage of Aaron Dessner’s delicate looping swirling riffs with Swift’s sugary pop vocal hooks and storytelling were just what I needed for inspiration and comfort while sitting at my desk, staring at the screen, writing and glimpsing the sky each day, through the seasons.

2. Beyoncé: The Lion King – The Gift (2020, visual album) The visual album directed by Bey herself is another border breaking effort, questioning the imagined fencing between super fame and unknown artists, elevating the African continents, black and brown humans and culture and healing with beauty. The music relates to the Lion King film that came out in 2019 and so does the film, but its free too, writing and rewriting additional meanings, imagining differently. It’s abundance, shared space, nature, form – an amazing fiction and a powerful narrative to black and brown children: you matter, you are beautiful. My 8-year-old LOVES every second of it. It is radical to be one of the most famous identifiable voices in pop and to share the vocal space and songwriting with all these other voices. It is radical to believe in your own power to do many things well, and then do it.

3. Fiona Apple: Fetch the Bolt Cutters (2020, album) What a year! It feels like I am 17 again with all these albums that become part of my musical interior. My new, yet familiar furniture to lean on. Apple’s album is an amalgamation of all her albums so far. It’s a language I speak. It’s like listening to my big sister. It makes me glad to be alive in 2020 to hear her be able to bottle the vulnerability and wit and shake shake shake…

4. Shawn Colvin: Diamond in the Rough (book, 2012) I read a lot this year, which is no news. I’m always reading. Still, this is a revelation: since 2018 I’ve been listening to Colvin’s album A Few Small Repairs from 1996 every week. Yes, every week at some point I have to listen to this. This relates to the fact that I’ve rediscovered a lot of my 90s favorites and realized that I still love them. So, finally I realized that she published a memoir in 2012. I loved reading this book because it hasn’t been so long that I can read books by women songwriters. There just haven’t been that many. And this one addressed song writing and the conditions of her becoming a musician very well. It also dealt with alcoholism, mental health struggles and weaved mothering, romantic love and parental love into the narrative. Again, reading this inspired me to do what I do. Her writing made me feel less lonely and inspired to play the guitar again.

5. Hari Kunzru: Into the Zone (podcast) Podcasts have become an almost too present noise in my mornings, my walks, my cooking, my escape from the family… in a small home with everyone home, you can make space by listening to your own boring talk shows so loud that it drowns out Neil Young and muddles YouTube kids and the endless video game or Lego reviews. So, I discovered Into the Zone. I love it passionately. It’s a literary writer’s and a researcher’s dream. Kunzru is able to tell narratives of far apart subjects and show how they relate and influence each other. He talks much about music, racism, ideas of genre, imagined futures… to be honest, I felt like writing a letter of thank you to him, that’s how much I loved this. I haven’t written the letter though, because I could not find his email address.

6. “How to Stop a Power Grab” by Andrew Marantz in The New Yorker. November 23rd, 2020. This great article looks into what we know about peaceful dissent, interviewing Erica Chenoweth who is an important voice for all kinds of civil organizing and dissent such as the Black Lives Matter -movement. Chenoweth has studied and found that peaceful dissent is more likely to lead to political change than violence. Her book with Maria Stephan Why Civil Resistance Works came out in 2013 and is considered a watershed book for civil organizing. Reading this article gave me hope; maybe instead of a major global disaster bigger than 2020, we are learning, we are on the brink of better times, of realizing that we all have to care for all and act upon the betterment of our conditions. That science is showing us that violence is a dead end. That things are changing. That from the perspective of centuries, our slow learning is accelerating.

7. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark (TV Series, HBO) Michelle McNamara’s book by the same name was a hit a little while ago and this year, the HBO documentary series brings the entangled narratives of McNamara, the horrific victim stories and the story of the EAR/Night Stalker together much like the book. The criminal titled EAR who violated the lives of so many and killed many from 1960s until recently in California, USA is kind of at the center of the story, but also, he is a side character to something more interesting. For me, the true crime aspect of this program was not as compelling as the story of McNamara’s discovery of writing, her ability to fuse detective skills and storytelling and her inability to address her personal struggles while doing it. It is a tragedy. I was struck by the documentary’s skill at talking also about mothering, a romantic relationship and childhood and to relate all this to the way this woman worked, developed her professional situation. And all this, while investigating murders and rapes that happened long ago and were never solved. Watching this made me a fangirl of McNamara and it made me want to become an amateur sleuth and also a filmmaker in my next life. Finally, during the year I fluctuated between wanting to watch old films, familiar series and yearning to be shook out of my usual corners. Being true crime this series was super scary for me – but it was more about telling stories really than about the crime, so I grit my teeth and closed the blinds and told myself I’m safe and I watched the series twice already. Guardian review of the show.

#astrid swan #soliti #end of year lists #2020

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har-rison-s · 5 years

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teenage dirtbag

request: Can you make a thor oneshot where the reader is teen and has a big crush on him and she or he is always trying to impress with modern culture but one day he reads i dunno her diary and finds loads of pictures ( that he didn’t even knew existed)of him and writings and he confronts the reader

A/N: This is so cute! And I hope I made it as cute as I hoped to. Really interesting to write Thor. I've never done that before. And I love Thor. He was the reason I even started to watch Marvel movies. And I love him. Many injustices were done to his character arc and development, but um... TAIKA WAITITI PLEASE DIRECT THOR 4. I love Thor Odinson. PLEASE SEND MORE REQUESTS WITH HIM!!! Happy reading!

main masterlist

mcu masterlist

Dear diary,

why do I even start my writings like this? It's stupid and sounds like I'm a helpless romantic girl in some movie. But if I would be in a movie, maybe my dreams would come true...

Yesterday I told Thor about Youtube and he couldn't understand it, not at first. But, when I showed him a couple of cat and fail videos, he found them amusing, and so the idea of using Youtube. He even asked me to help him set up an account. He said he wanted to “capture” the team training or having a fight. A succesful lesson of modern culture for him, that.

Said I'd help him do it tomorrow, which is today and I'm bound to help him whenever he asks. Now I'm going to have a shower and then join the others for breakfast. After that, me and Thor will make him an account on Youtube. I can't wait. Finally, for the first time, I'm going to be alone with him. Me and Thor. Only us two. I can't wait. I already said that. Well, whatever.

Okay, then. I'll return to you later. Hopefully, after a succesful time-spending with Thor.

Thor looks up from the notebook he was reading. His eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes squinted. “So, is she just writing here whatever she thinks? Is that what it's for? And why is almost everything about me?” He thinks.

Thor looked so good today. - June 15th

I miss Thor's long hair, so beautiful. Especially when he tied half of it behind his head. Maybe I should ask him for his hair routine, it's always shiny and flawless... - April 30th

Told Thor about 'yeet' today, in front of others. They made fun of me. And they always do. It's started to get on my nerves. I'm just a kid. Maybe that's exactly why they make fun of me. But Thor didn't. He thanked me for teaching him Earth's modern language. - November 16th

Training with Thor. First time for me. And I couldn't concentrate. One of the most stupid moments in my life. Couldn't stop staring at his muscles that were about to burst from underneath his Tony-given tank. Christ, I still see them now. - March 7th

We had Netflix & Chill today, with the whole crew. My idea again. We started watching Stranger Things, season one. Thor was silent through the episodes. Did he not like it? Was it confusing him? Too colorful? Strange things, if I must say so myself. - July 12th

So many mentions of his name. It seemed weird. And what was even weirder than that were pictures of him. Ones he didn't know were taken. But then again, he never knew when pictures are taken of him. But these ones... These were not taken in public.

One was of Thor in the kitchen, talking with Tony. He remembers that. They were still talking about what's worthy enough to hold Mjolnir. Steve Rogers came into the room later.

Another picture was of Thor smiling, surprisingly, sitting in the sofa, a drink in hand. Thor was remembering another childhood prank he played on Loki to get back at him.

There were some group pictures, with some small doodles around Thor's head. Hearts? Butts? A picture of Y/N and Natasha, a picture of Y/N and Steve. A picture where Y/N is photographed by someone else. And, taking the words underneath the picture, it was Sam Wilson who took the picture.

Then, there are some pictures of Thor in the gym and some with him just practicing with Mjolnir, some with him talking to Vision. Lots of different ones, but mainly with Thor in them.

Some of the pictures looked like... printed chap-snats? Chat-snaps? Snapchats. Yeah. An application in the cellphones that Y/N showed him one day. Thor liked the funny effects the application put on his face.

What was this all about? The pictures, the writings, the doodles? Some sort of... obsession maybe? Or, maybe she's a big fan of him. Either way, the pictures were disturbing Thor only a little bit. So he had to ask her what's that about. They've got to stop, whatever it is. Secretly taking pictures is clearly a violation of privacy, even to a self-loving and loathing god like Thor.

Thor puts the notebook back down on the desk it was laying on before he picked it up. He was actually waiting for Y/N in her room so they could set up the “You-tube” account. Thor was actually excited for that, but what he'd found in the notebook lessened his good mood a bit.

He leans, slightly sitting down, against the desk and waits for Y/N to come in. She will be, he knows that. Thor only left breakfast early cause he wanted to see Y/N's room for himself first. He was afraid, though, so he didn't want to freak the kid out with his reaction. Anything could be in a teenager's room, it could look like a portal to the Dark dimension or just look like a battleground.

But her room is nice, very pretty, fitting to herself. Soft tones, black bed sheets, pretty curtains, shelves full of books and sketchbooks, flowers by her bed and on the desk. There's even a small plush bunny on her bed. Very cute. Thor smiles when he notices it. She must have had it from her childhood.

Y/N walks into the room and stops dead in her tracks. “Thor.” She mumbles, eyes wide. She's actually eating some nuts she took from the kitchen, they scrunch beneath her teeth as she looks at Thor, eyes frozen on his. She's practically hypnotized.

“Y/N.” Thor greets, nodding. “Still enjoying earthly breakfast?” Y/N nods. “Some foods here are good, but nothing like Asgard's was, I have to admit. But, still, you people eat it and you're not dead yet.”

Y/N laughs. Something no one else would do at Thor's strange comments, and it makes him glad someone appreciates his thoughts, someone hears them and doesn't think them weird. Well, at least that's what he thinks she's reacting like.

“God, I always forget to give you Belgian waffles or French Crepes. They're the best, honestly.” She says and walks past him, her posture a bit strange. “You taste them and you have no doubt about our food being at small bit bad.” Thor hums. “So, you came here to set up your Youtube account?”

“Yes, yes, of course. I was waiting for you, lady Y/N.” He responds. “But I, uh, well, I have many questions on my mind, but one of them is uh...”

“Ask away.” Y/N says, opening her laptop. Her eyes are trying not to look at Thor every once in a while. Though, it's very hard.

“What is your blue book for?” He asks, turning slightly to the young girl. She glances at him briefly.

“What? This one?” She points at her diary on the desk next to her laptop. Thor nods. “Oh, it's um, it's only for... Well, not only, I... I leave pictures there and uh, write down whatever I want to. Nothing interesting, really.”

“Nothing interesting? There were some things that intrigued me there, I must admit.” Thor says, boldly, without faltering.

Y/N hums, and only a second later does she realise what his words mean. “Wait, you went through my diary?” She asks, voice full of shock.

“A diary?” Thor echoes. “Yes, well, I did. I thought it... Well, I didn't really think anything, I was just interested cause it... looked pretty.”

Y/N chuckles, but quietly. “Wh-what did you, exactly, see—uh—read in there?” She stumbles over words. Her crush on Thor is about to become very evident, if it wasn't already.

“Oh, uh, your writings and pictures,” Thor says, “May I ask some more questions?”

“Uh-huh.” Y/N says, her voice high-pitched and worry-laced.

“Why do you have pictures of me in your, uh, diary?” He asks and Y/N's entire being freezes. “I assume you're the one taking them.”

Y/N clears her throat. “I, uh, yes, I... I like to take pictures of, uh, of everyone.” She gives her best white lie.

“Do you have, maybe, pictures of others? Like, Captain Rogers or Stark or Natasha? Just them?”

“Natasha, some of her.” Y/N squeals. “The others, I don't... I don't find quite interesting.”

“Not as interesting as me?” Thor clarifies. “I'm flattered, Lady Y/N. But... why draw hearts around me? Do you draw them because you think I'm more interesting?”

“Oh, no,” Thor hears Y/N mumble as she throws her head in her hands. He looks at her with concern, worried if she's sad or anxious, “okay, I'm just gonna tell you and embarrass myself in the process, but at least I'll get it over with now and quick.” She rambles, looking into Thor's eyes. The god nods. “I, uh, I just... I kinda... Well, I like you more than the others. We call it a crush between teenagers. It's when you...”

“Oh, I understand.” Thor says, nodding. He looks away and Y/N anxiously watches him think it over, what she said. Oh, crap, he's going to laugh at her. He's going to laugh and then tell everyone else. Maybe she should not have said anything at all. “That's completely okay, Lady Y/N. Thank you for telling me.” He says. “It's all okay, but... you're just young. And returning those feelings wouldn't be right.”

Y/N nods.

“You look sad, miss Y/N.” Thor says after they both nod in silence to each other. “Let me give you an embrace.” He opens his arms to Y/N and she nods once again before letting herself fall into the god's embrace. He rubs her back comfortably, but finding it strange that she's quiet, not saying anything. He has to make her feel better. “Can we watch the cats dancing again?” Thor asks and hears the familiar sound of Y/N's giggle.

Permanent taglist: @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @one-taylor-one-vision@empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @fvckyeahbenhardy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @mrsmazzello @benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131

#thor odinson #thor x reader #thor odinson x reader #thor odinson imagine #thor odinson imagines #thor request #thor imagine #thor imagines #thor odinson request #avengers x reader #avengers request #marvel imagine #marvel imagines

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bangtanfanfiction · 5 years

Note

Can I request a jk scenario where dispatch leaks couple pictures and you and him go on vlive to confirm. Both are idols (girl is foreigner?)

So I’m finally posting the first request, and I realized that all the requests I got were Idol AU’s. Hope you guys enjoy it!

JK drabble/scenario

Word count: 2k

Genre: fluff

Waking up on a day without any schedules always felt like a dream to you. It was one of those days where you could take your time doing anything you wanted. From getting up from the bed, to brushing your teeth and making breakfast.

You could finally just be lazy for once.

And waking up next to your boyfriend made it even better. Stretching your arms above your head, you let out a yawn that could probably rival a lion. Glancing to the side, you saw Jeongguk still sleeping deeply as he let out soft snores. Feeling somehow particularly happy today, you slipped your arm around his waist and tugged yourself into his side for only a couple of seconds before placing a quick peck on his exposed shoulder.

With that you rose up from his bed while tugging down the loose shirt you were wearing, before looking around with bleary eyes to find your pajama shorts from the night before. Luckily they were just in your sight. After you had pulled them on, you slipped on a pair of slippers before making your way out of the room and towards the bathroom he shared with Jin and Tae.

Thank god that it was empty - you didn’t have the patience on waiting for Taehyung to sing through his whole shower playlist again before brushing your teeth.

After finishing up with your morning routine, you made your way to the kitchen to find something to eat while waiting for Jeongguk to wake up. Knowing him, he would probably sleep for a couple more hours after your date night yesterday. You weren’t alone when you go into the spacious kitchen as you greeted him.

“Morning.”

“Morning Y/N,” Jimin smiled in reply as he took out a carton of milk from the fridge. “Want some?”

“Sure,” You shrugged as he took poured out the contents in a new glass.

“What did you and Jeongguk do yesterday?” He asked sitting down on a chair by the kitchen island opposite of you.

“Not much really,” You thought back on your day together after a long time. “We just hung out around Seoul, shopping and eating. We took a trip to the Han river a bit later before coming back to the dorm and watching movies..and then we fell asleep.”

“Nice and simple then,” Jimin chuckled as you agreed.

The two of you continued to sit in each others company in silence. Before you started dating Jeongguk, you were already good friends with Namjoon. Maybe it was the language barrier and the fact that your Korean was only that understandable at the time. You were shy and nervous during public events with other idols, until the leader of BTS was seated next to you one day and started a conversation with you in english.

Namjoon had helped you a lot with opening up to other people, while developing your language skills along the way. By getting to know him, you were slowly introduced to the other members as well and your friendship with all the guys naturally developed over time. So awkward silences and so on were practically nonexistent.

You were busy with watching a youtube video while sipping on your glass of milk when Jimin spoke up.

“Uhh, Y/N?” His voice was uncertain as he said your name, which caught your attention right away.

You looked up from your screen to see him staring at his own phone with pinched eyebrows. “What?”

“You gotta see this,” he shook his head and slid the small device over the countertop as you accepted it.

What you definitely didn’t expect was Jeongguk’s face plastered over an article along with a couple of pictures that looked awfully familiar to what you wore yesterday. The black, thick headline stared up at you as clear as day.

“Shit.”

You didn’t know what else to say.

Jimin looked just as anxious as you were as you both exchanged panicked glances. Without a second thought you sprung out off the chair and practically bouldered yourself into Jeongguk’s room. Your entrance was so loud that he actually flinched awake in surprise.

“What was that for?” He groaned out tiredly, his morning voice evident.

You ignored his complaining and climbed on the bed before shoving Jimin’s phone in his tired face.

“Wha-”

He blinked a couple of seconds at the bright screen, before you gradually saw his eyes widen and he sat up so quick you actually had to lean back.

“W-where is this from?” He stuttered just as Jimin came walking into the room.

“Dispatch,” The older man sighed. “I just told Namjoon hyung about this, he’s calling management right now.”

“Oh god, what are we gonna do?” You groaned, flopping down on the bed as you felt your whole body being filled with nervous butterflies. And not the good kind.

You didn’t know their company would do. Or yours for that matter. Your relationship wasn’t a secret from them, but it was a secret from the public. And now that it’s out, you were uncertain of the future.

“Wait,” you sat up again with wide eyes as both of the guys looked at you. “What if they make us break up?”

You voice had cracked in the middle of the sentence, showing how you actually felt. Jeongguk was quick to grab both of your hands in his and press a kiss on your skin assuringly.

“I would never let them do that,” he promised you seriously.

“Yeah they would be crazy to do that,” Jimin agreed. “And as if we would let them.”

Their words assured you a bit as you managed to calm down, but only a little.

“You should eat some breakfast,” Jeongguk then said to you. “Get some energy while I freshen up.”

You did as he told. And while you and Jimin were sitting in the living room, each nursing a bowl of cereal - Hoseok and Taehyung had been quick to join you after hearing what had happened.

Jeongguk returned from the bathroom with damp hair, fresh out of the shower just as Namjoon came walking out from the direction of his bedroom, phone still in hand.

You were quick to stand up and approach your friend, hands wringing nervously.

“Joon, what did they say?”

He sighed. “Well the public’s going crazy, that’s for sure. But both of our companies agreed that it would be you guys’ decision if you wanted to address the issue or not. If not, then they will send out an official statement denying the article and pay off Dispatch to keep it silent.”

“You mean - bribery?” your boyfriend said in disbelief, and you were sure your expression wasn’t far from it either.

Namjoon could only offer a small sympathetic smile. “Sadly that’s how the world works. What do you guys say?”

The entire dorm was silent as you and Jeongguk stared at nothing in thought before meeting each other’s eyes and nodding simultaneously.

“We’ll confirm it,” you spoke up as the boys present all straightened up in slight surprise. “But only if all of you agree. This will impact all of our careers, and if you don’t want that then we won’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to ask usk, Y/N,” Hoseok then laughed a bit. “This is your relationship, but we will support you no matter what.”

“What he said,” Taehyung grinned. “I’m certain Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung would agree.”

You smiled at all of them in gratitude. You didn’t know what you did to deserve such amazing friends.

“How are you guys gonna confirm it?” Jimin asked curiously.

This time it was your boyfriend that spoke up. “The way we always do when we have something to say. Vlive.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jeongguk asked you, probably the fifth time by now as you both sat in front of a phone camera - your faces on the vlive staring back at you, but hadn’t started the livestream yet.

“Will you stop asking me and just do it before I change my mind!” You replied in slight frustration as he flinched. “Sorry,” you sighed, taking his hand in yours.

“It’s okay, you’re nervous, that’s normal.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “And you aren’t?”

“Oh I’m terrified,” he admitted but casually. “I’m just good at hiding it.”

A sigh was heard from across the room, Jimin lounging on the newly installed black leather couch in their pristine practice room. “Will both of you just get on with it before I tweet the news myself.”

You stuck your tongue out at him return before giving Jeongguk the okay sign. He leaned forward towards the phone that was positioned on a selfie stick and supported by a couple of random boxes you had found in the room.

You held your breath as you saw him tap on the red recording button as the live stream finally started. Your heart sped up every time you saw the number of viewers increase rapidly in only a couple of minute. Not that the title he had chosen for it was any better.

JK LIVE: DATING NEWS?

What an idiot.

The two of you probably sat in silence for five minutes, just anxiously staring at the number rising and comments flying by without reading any.

You cleared your throat before nudging him in the side.

“Ah yes…” He finally spoke up. “ARMY’s are probably very confused right now. And some might not be. I’m sure most of you already know about the article posted this morning, which is why I’m here to clarify.”

You couldn’t help but stare at him in admiration as he spoke. He was nervous, yes. But his voice was still calming and the small smile on his face that was always there to assure his fans.

“We are here to clarify,” you decided to speak, sending him a small smile.

“The news must have come as a surprise for all of our fans. Believe me, I was very surprised,” you managed to chuckle as Jeongguk snorted next to you. “But we both wanted to tell you this in person.”

“Do you wanna do the honors or should I?” He asked you with a little smirk as you shook your head.

Just as your opened your mouth to say something, you were cut off.

“Yes they’re both dating! It’s confirmed!” Jimin called out from his spot.

“Jimin!”

“Hyung!”

He simply giggled in reply, not apologetic at all.

After sharing a exasperated look, you both smiled awkwardly at the camera. “Well, I guess you already heard it, but yes, we’re dating.”

Jeongguk positioned your entwined hands so they were visible for the viewers to see. “And we’re very happy,” he smiled at you before turning back to the camera. “We hope that you’ll continue supporting us as individuals, artists and as a couple in the future.”

“That was all we had for today and thank you for tuning in, bye guys!”

Waving at the camera, he was quick to turn off the vlive as both of you breathed out in relief. Your shoulders feeling free without the weight of the secret hanging on them anymore.

“So that just happened,” you commented as Jimin laughed from his corner. “Will you stop laughing?!”

Jeongguk chuckled before boldly pulling your form into his lap and hugging you tightly. You were surprised, simply because he never enjoyed doing any kind of PDA in front of his hyungs. Hand holding was as far as he could go.

You turned around so your legs were around his waist and you sat on his thighs as he continued to hug you tightly.

“Baby, are you okay?” You whispered while running your fingers through his dark hair.

He leaned back a little, only to smile up at you. “I’m more than fine. You?”

You felt your heart swell with all the love that you had for him. “Perfect.”

Jeongguk grinned brightly before pulling you down into a sweet kiss, your lips pressing against each other lovingly.

“Ugh, do that somewhere else would you?”

#ask #bts request #bts #bangtan boys #bts fanfic #bts au #bts imagine #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #bts idol au

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21secondsofchristoph · 5 years

Text

Here is a full translation of the interview with the FAZ:

Mr Waltz, statistically you're a rarity. Only five percent of all actors in Los Angeles manage to get enough jobs to get accepted into the SAG. And out of that group, only about five percent earn enough to make a living out of their art.

Becoming an actor is like becoming a father: really easy. Being and staying an actor is much harder.

We're meeting today, because you're not playing the villain for once, but some kind of action-hero in James Cameron's Manga movie "Alita: Battle Angel"

As a futuristic doctor you revive a cyborg from Mars, so you're basically working on the interface of human and machine

Haha, you could put it like that! I like that!

When the story was published as a comic in 1990 it was considered Science-fiction. Today, people like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos actually work on brain implants and dream of colonies on Mars. Have you dealt with such things as preperation?

I don't take Elon Musk seriously. His behavior strikes me as ridiculous and you can't forget that he has a commercial interest in the topic's sensation. I've already watched moon landing's and flights into space as a child. Is it really necessary to introduce billionaires into space tourism? Well, we will see what happens. I am interested in new technologies but it's difficult to seperate them from journalism of sensation, even if it's dressed seriously.

In time, a lot of things might be possible that I can't even imagine right now. But there is another question: the question of necessity.

The market economy drives our world into an orgy of uselessness. It damages our planet and our lives on it. Who wants to live on Mars? That we will all be unemployed and the environment destroyed is in no relation to any use.

Can one stop the progress if it's useless?

Not as long as someone benefits from it.

What about the desire for disruption?

Disrupting something is an easy action, replacing it with something useful is not.

I'm always ready to disrupt something if there is a useful counterproposal. Not necessarily until then.

A lot of things are turned upside down in film industry. Netflix not only revolutionized the concept of television, it also produces exciting movies. And Youtube even has its own celebrities among the new generation.

Over the past few months I've watched some movies which hadn't been produced without Netlflix. For example the winner of the Venice Film Festival "Roma". Movies like that wouldn't run longer than 3 weeks in theaters. Through the premiers and prices it now receives the attention it deserves. And after that it's on Netflix. As superficial as I can see that, it's not the worst thing.

In contrast to that, I don't have a hard time with not watching Youtube. It's probably a cultural matter and depends on how we want to shape our lives. Of course it's also a generational matter. But why is that? Just because someone is younger, it doesn't mean they are predestined for entertainment through videoclips.

You have 4 children. You have to be familiar with this world. Where do you see the difference to your generation?

In school we were always confronted with things we didn't like, but which we couldn't dispose of.

That's where the wonderful word "Bildung" comes from, which doesn't exist in English. Education refers to an information value. "Bildung" goes further than education through its cultural formation. When I was in school I also didn't understand why I had to study Latin. But not wanting to learn Latin would have never occured to me. Just because no one speaks it anymore and learning it seemed uncomfortable.

And did you like it?

It created connections within a language, trained precise phrasing, as well as logic and discipline. It's certainly more challenging to learn an abstract language than watching a funny Youtube video.

About for or five years ago you warned Facebook might be a breeding ground for the fast growth of terror organisations. Are you surprised that it also seems to threaten western democracies now?

Not at all. History has taught us that medium and structure can be more dangerous than the message, because it's easier to handle the problematic movement than the well oiled machine that keeps it going. Especially when algorithms control the dynamics in the networks, those networks can become independent.

Some hope that societies might improve through a "Wutbürger"-culture and a crazy government.

At best, all of that just has entertainment value.

So maybe not anyone should always add their opinions?

If you don't have anything clever to say you should shut your mouth. But actually it's the other way around. Apart from this choir of stupidity being really annoying, people who haven't developed the resistance and sensors might fall for the noise. Whoever shouts the loudest ends up being heard.

You are known for keeping your private life private. How does that match marketing's and fan's expectations?

Fame is an unsolved problem, not only for me.

You either remain an anonymous observer without a bigger platform to present your realizations. That is an unfortunate paradox because the people who get the chance to move in public have to deal with growing fame while they also distance themselves from the influences and experiences of real life.

Studies have shown that introverts would handle most jobs better. But they tend to get cast out by the loudmouths.

I can imagine that. Self- and foreign perception are a tricky thing. I can remember the first Loveparades in Berlin which I saw on TV. I always avoided the event myself. In the interviews, people were saying things like: "We celebrate our individuality!" And there were one million people that all looked the same. The music was a monotonous bum-bum-bum and I always tried to spot a moment of individuality.

You've been living in the centre of individuality for a while now. Do you still consider the United States of America governable?

Maybe not as a federation. The question I'm interested in is whether the USA as a federation are still worthy of governance. California alone is the fifth largest economy in the world.

In an interview from 2003 you talked about posing, about film makers who eroticise themselves and about how to stand yourself

Oh God, I remember.

Are you currently able to stand yourself?

Sometimes. But it's not easy.

At that time you weren't a Hollywood star and you made yourself very clear in interviews.

"Schindler's list" is mendacious because Spielberg might have thought "that type of movie still lacks from my collection of movies about dinosaurs and UFOs

Or that Roberto Benigni's "Life is Beautiful" is "crap" because it communicates that it's alright to laugh about concentration camps. "when it's a tender laugh"

Do you still dare to say such things now that you constantly meet other Hollywood stars?

In Germany, yes. In America, no.

Do you believe it's better to become famous later in life? And does aging feel better when you're at least famous while you're aging?

Hopefully both, right? As a young man you often experience the world through tunnel vision, because you impatiently want to experience everything, even though you can't sort a lot of things right. If the attention hits you at that point in life, you get in danger of stirring towards a dead end where you don't develop well.

Do you believe you became more careful and more lenient over the years and success?

You're becoming more careful and more lenient. I never thought of that before. I thought: Now I suddenly step back a little. You become more lenient when you connect yourself to it. In a strict German way you could call it cowardice, because you gain another point of view, the insight. And apart from the experience and the success it might be due to the abrasion of the testosterone-related edges.

#christoph waltz #alitabattleangel

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charlotteroseessex-blog · 5 years

Text

ASMR

Say what?

ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is a revolutionary phenomenon set to take over YouTube. The sensory responses are caused when sensations are endured throughout the entire body from an auditory or visual encounter. In recent years, the obsession with experiencing these feelings have become more publicised through uploaded videos and content available online, constituting a global trend that now even celebrities are attempting to produce.

Despite the initial introduction of ASMR in 2007; on an online health page displaying inquisitions about a suspicious tingling, the surge of popularity has only recently peaked in 2017. Since then, the boom of ASMR videos have become almost uncontrollable with people uploading progressively strange content, like crunching on raw carrots and cracking knuckles - all for the viewers satisfaction. Each to their own, right? Some of you may be wondering, “where can I watch ASMR videos? I’m really intrigued to see if I have the symptoms!” Well look no further curious one! YouTube is filled to the brim with budding ASMR wannabe vloggers who would kill for the extra view on their whispering video. Yes, I said whispering video.

Is ASMR contagious, do I need a doctor?

Not everyone experiences ASMR, the triggers are unique and a much smaller percentage of people are susceptible to the sensations than you may think. Whether you’re ASMR curious or not, I may have got you thinking, “how do I know if I’m prone to ASMR?” Well, if you’ve ever embarked on a process of internal relaxation, triggered by a tingling sensation overcoming your entire body, whilst also in a transitory state, then I can confirm your encounter with ASMR.

Usually, ASMR occurs in the presence of a really calming voice, like a teacher or doctor, when their tone of speech is so smooth and idyllic it causes you to undergo tingling sensations - which commonly begin on your scalp or at the back of your neck. It sounds weirder than it actually is, I swear. From this point, an ‘ASMR takeover’ will absorb you when a wave of calmness washes over your entire body and the only noise of clarity is that inducing your ASMR experience. So no, it’s not a disease or contagion you need to be scared of, nor are you likely to develop ASMR the more videos you watch. It’s simply just an experience of "low-grade euphoria" characterized by "a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling”, it’s actually something to be desired if you ask me.

The concept of ASMR, especially the content on YouTube, relies heavily on the multimodal influences on the viewing pleasure of the audience and whether or not the aesthetics are calm and relaxing enough to absorb viewers entirely during their experience. The power of the visual aspects must allow for those watching to be completely and utterly in a trance with the words and actions of the ASMR creator, rather than be distracted by the art piece on the wall behind them, or curious of the individual walking past the nearby window. ASMR videos pull explicitly on the connection between sight and sound, as the multimodal elements help influence this with spoken language and imagery administered in the content.

Let’s have a listen.

The reliance placed upon the intricacies of execution is dependent upon, not only the avoidance of visual distractions and assurance of visual pleasure, but also the provision of vocalised audios and sounds (like the bristles on a hair brush or cutting paper). The audios present guidance from the narrator which is accompanied by the sounds featured in creating a desirable ASMR experience. Audio elements are vital for the true sensations of ASMR to fully absorb the mind, body and soul. Think of something that when you listen to it, you emerge into a state of complete tranquillity and find yourself in absolute serenity created purely by listening to this one unique sound. Just like how some of us are at our most peaceful when listening to a calming story, meditative music or a soothing voice like Morgan Freeman or David Attenborough, others may turn to ASMR because to them, listening to someone whisper or chew through a microphone creates the same euphoric sensation.

Having outlined the importance in sound, I think its also worth investigating the recent evolution in visual aspects assisting these audios. Due to the increase in popularity of ASMR and its recent domination of the content featured on YouTube, it’s growing adoration can be held accountable for the demand in visualisation becoming a modern feature of ASMR. The multimodal elements of aesthetics portray emphasis on the importance of beautification and attraction towards making an AMSR video stand out amongst the thousands of others - just like how a magazine will try to catch your eye, YouTubers hope to grab your attention in a similar way.

So let’s take a look.

Much like how you would expect to see beautiful models wearing gorgeous clothes in a high brand fashion magazine, ASMR videos experience the same pressures as their audiences expect to apprehend pleasurable viewing experiences. Not only are the visual aspects of the background important to producing a successful ASMR video, but the demeanour of the individual creating the experience is equally as influential. Now, don’t get it twisted, ASMR is not shallow. I’m not suggesting that only really good looking people are allowed to make these videos - anyone can do it - however what I am implying is that the YouTubers overall appearance and presentation has a dramatic impact on the viewers desire to watch or keep watching. Take a look at the thumbnails below of each ASMR video uploaded to YouTube and try to consider which one you would rather watch:

The first icon features a warmth to the video with the simplicity of only neutral colours involved. Here the YouTuber has created an immediate relaxation in the visionary experience, as the mellow tones exhume an assurance of calm. The absence of distracting and dominating colours, allows for the creator to ensure full engagement between their performance and the viewers gaze. Without having even played the video yet, the viewing expectations remain high based on the levels of intricacy, as the consideration of external factors create a placidity for the viewer. Once pressing play to immerse into the video and embark on the journey of ASMR, the temporal and sequential logic of the YouTubers speech (if executed successfully) ensures flow and rhythm to her words. This precision of a carefully constructed narrative evokes a logic to the speech and assures a linear processing from the listener due to their engagement with the video. The partnership of visual and auditory elements collaborate in producing a tranquil and effective video, assured by the absence of distractions which allows the relaxation to fully transpire. Polysemous is prevalent in this first video as she immediately engages the audience and in doing so, maintains consistent interest as the clip progresses.

The second icon portrays a diminished professionalism and is thought to be one of the worst ASMRs ever published on YouTube (as officiated by them, not me). Immediately, the viewing pleasure of the icon conflicts with the first, as the reduction in aesthetics from the poorly lit room presents a blinding whiteness of her face which makes her features almost impossible to interpret. This is already a distracting element as I find myself wondering what her real features are like… both random and irrelevant to the video. The background is also very cluttered which encourages the eye to wonder and focus on aspects other than the YouTubers logic of speech. The visual distractions obstruct the relationship between the viewer and the speaker and the audiences engagement with paying attention and listening is broken down. The disruption of sequential logic suggests a failure to the linearity of speech initially intended to create a calming effect and achieve an ASMR experience - this video fails.

ASMR and health.

In identifying the artificially provoked sensations of ASMR videos, through deliberately searching online, there have been many health benefits discovered in recent years when assessing its calming effects on the public. Through the mechanism of relaxing audios and visuals, it is suggested that the sensations endured when perceiving an ASMR video can be presented as a coping mechanism for stressful situations (especially for those suffering with mental health issues) due to it’s soothing side-effects. ASMR also claims to have beneficial influences on your sleeping pattern, suggesting that listening to a video before bed will help you not only to drift off, but remain in a mellow mind set throughout your nights sleep. Just like many of us will turn to music or movies before bed to tire our eyes, others resort to watching an ASMR video to seek a more advanced calming strategy. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

Going public.

In order to understand the publics current awareness of ASMR and whether or not it is as popular as sources claim, I carried out a survey on a small group of people. My questions attempted to gage an insight into the usage of ASMR videos and whether people rely on, or are open to trying, the YouTube trend. In retrospect, my initial expectations of the results conflicted with my findings by the virtue of my naivety about the vast awareness, curiosity and openness from my sample groups previous experience to watching ASMR videos. The surge in popularity of ASMR online content explains the 100% confirmation in their familiarity with the genre, which then resulted in only 58.33% of the group admitting they had experienced sensory response symptoms. These results were to be expected, as not everyone is likely to obtain the same sensitivity towards artificial sounds and digital visual engagement.

In developing my interest into the current reliance on ASMR, and other meditative strategies when coping with mental health, I provided a 1-100 scale so the respondents could mark their current level of anxiousness. This was important to the survey as I wanted to use this personal insight to understand whether ASMR was calming for everyone, or just those prone to experiencing the sensations. As the results show, the average level of anxiety was 36% which provided a small passage of improvement for the results after watching the ASMR video.

Having analysed the initial levels of anxiety, I was interested in researching current reliable calming strategies when coping with stressful situations. In the results displayed below, it is clear that the most popular strategy was listening to music (41.67%) with the least being ASMR and other therapeutic videos (8.33%). The results suggest that ASMR hasn’t yet reached its highest level of potential in receiving exposure towards its desired audiences. With music being the most popular choice, it explains that accessibility and transportation is vital when appealing to the general public. As ASMR relies profusely on the multimodal functions of visualisation, the act of watching videos can be considered quite embarrassing if demonstrated in public. Imagine being on a bus sat next to a middle aged man and on his phone displays an ASMR video with someone pretending to give him a haircut - yes these videos do exist. The importance of polysemous being present in an ASMR experience is the main element which creates the immediate affect of tranquillity, so ASMR has to be intently observed for the best endurance. It would be strange though, right? So you can’t blame people for resorting to subtlety, a hidden phone in your pocket connected to earphones beats openly watching people whisper or heavily breath into a mic.

Proceeding on from this topic of calming mechanisms, I wanted to introduce the concept of ASMR and the feelings evoked from participant observations. I asked for the participants to watch a small portion of the video provided and then express the feelings raised. Undeniably, my expectations was that the video would provoke sensations of calm or even induce ASMR symptoms. However, as previously stated, ASMR is not for everyone and so 58.33% felt uncomfortable watching the video. From the results, the demonstration of distressed behaviour reflects the breakdown of the logic of speech. Through the rejection displayed by the listener, the temporal and sequential speech of the YouTuber prevents the formation of a linear processing, consequently destroying the likelihood of an effective experience. (Here is the link to the video participants watched: https://youtu.be/fZnptZ2wI88 )

Having now observed the video, participants quickly conflicted their notions of feeling uneasy by outlining what they felt were the most relaxing features. In this question, participants were allowed to respond with more than one answer, this was done to conceive the most impactful relationship included in ASMR video features. With only 2 participants conveying their answer as ‘None’, 66.67% regarded the ‘Whispering’ as most relaxing, closely followed by the considerations of ‘Visual imagery of soft colours’ scoring at 33.33%. The partnership of the senses, sight and sound, support the successful execution of semiotic modes being vital for an impactful ASMR video. The visual and spoken logics of multimodality presents a strengthening to the YouTubers creation of meaning in the content they post, which is justified by the whispering and imagery concluded as the most effective features.

After providing the participants with current ASMR content, I thought that to revisit the question of anxiousness would provide an affective development regarding their feelings towards the experience. Although having observed the negation towards ASMR, I anticipated that the results would portray an increase rather than an envisioned decrease. Since the first insight into the participants levels of anxiety, compared to after the observation of ASMR, the results showed an 8% increase from 36% to 42% feeling anxious. I can assume from these results that the cause of increase is due to those immune to ASMR rating very highly, compared to those reporting a decrease in anxiety with half the participants ranking from 20 or below.

By carrying out this survey I was able to gage an insight into the realistic perceptions of the public towards ASMR, as well as to understand why people are less likely to rely on it as a coping mechanism. Despite only 41.67% claiming that they would now resort to ASMR videos as a calming strategy; with an even smaller percentage accepting the option as a method of inducing sleep or reducing stress (33.33%), the overall factorship of ASMR presents alternative calming strategies made easily accessible for everyday people. Throughout the duration of this survey, the awareness raised for the effectiveness of ASMR has allowed for a very small proportion to experience and reflect on meditative approaches suitable for stressful or struggling times. It has also suggested that multimodality plays a vital role in producing affective content, as well as the fact that until we all stop caring about the opinions of others (especially in public), ASMR might slowly but surely be as dependent as listening to music.

RAPPIN’ it up.

My indulge into the world of ASMR might put you off ever diving into the world of YouTubes sensory dark corners, but despite what you may think it’s actually really quite normal. Loads of us are prone to the tingling sensory reactions, whether you wanna admit it or not. Cardi B is a loud and proud ASMR advocate. Yes, the biggest female rapper that there ever was openly admits her reliance on ASMR. She even goes so far to claim her nightly dependence in order to sleep and supposedly obsesses over newly released ASMR content. Cardi even gave it a go herself by creating a video whilst whispering answers for a magazine interview. Multitasking at its finest.

And don’t think she’s the only celeb to dip her toe into the weird and wonderful world of sensory gratification either...

It seems that in correlation with the growing popularity of ASMR, celebs from all backgrounds are jumping on the bandwagon. Will this surge in celebrity intervention normalise the desire for whisper videos? Putting a well known face on the front of a video entitled ‘Emily Ratajkowski Explores ASMR with Whispers, Leather, and a Lint Roller’ imposes an indexicality by elements of luxury and superiority surrounding the audience that indulge in these videos.

So why encourage ASMR as a hobby doted on by icons? Does the concept of Emily Ratajkowski whispering on camera make the idea of ASMR a more desirable watch? If so, does this suggest the sexualisation of an ASMR experience is provoked by the intimacy of multimodal features?

ASMR: Okurrr

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Sources:

If you find yourself wanting to experience ASMR beyond Cardi B’s interpretation, the links to the featured videos are here below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zltEvQK03Hs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLV5dXtHT-Q

https://www.youtube.com/user/wmagazinedotcom

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fionas-french-challenge-blog · 5 years

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Blog 1 - Initial Challenge Planning

My challenge:

Vocabulary – Difficulty keeping up language practice outside class. I have tried to combat this sporadically through use of Duolingo, although it does not target specific vocabulary from my classes.

‘Thinking too much’ – Rather than trusting my knowledge of the language and letting myself feel how to correctly use the language I find myself grasping for particular rules and structures that I should be using, therefore hindering my fluency and stressing me out further. The best solution I have found for this is knowing structures very well so they are second nature, though this becomes an issue when I am placed in variable situations.

Getting confused about when to use different conjugations – I get confused about which conjugations to use in certain situations and find myself stressing and without knowing where to start if I haven’t been specifically instructed to use a certain one. I have best approached this in the past through memorisation, though I feel as if this knowledge has not stayed in my memory very well.

My Learning goal:

Getting a 6 in FREN2010 throughout the regular assessment pieces in the class and overall for the course.

Being able to differentiate and describe different verb tenses + conjugations (present; past (passé composé, imparfait); future (futur proche, futur simple); conditional).

Feeling more confident and relaxed in straying from specific sentence structures/responses/questions, especially in class. Decreasing my use of English in French classes.

Increase confidence in conversation (especially with native speakers).

Retaining knowledge so that I can have a good base for FREN2020 and speak functionally in France at the end of the year.

My learning styles and strategies:

Very clear guidelines/rules for grammar – Purposed French language learning Instagrams, Youtube, and Podcasts should help me with this by providing definitions and explanations for difficult grammar concepts using different learning strategies of which some will hopefully suit me.

Creativity – exploring knowledge through reuse which is then subject to critique; application of critique and revision of problem areas. – I will achieve this through interaction with French social media (Instagram). This creativity is given much room for exploration in my formal university class sessions and is therefore not a huge focus of mine for this challenge.

Group settings/discussions. – I can participate in discussions on Instagram and YouTube posts aimed specifically for French learning.

Natural and practical applications for knowledge – Exposing myself to French designed for native speakers (podcasts, YouTube videos, Instagram, Netflix, etc.) should help me to be more comfortable with integrating French into my everyday life, and therefore increase my familiarity with it in a casual setting.

The technologies I am going to test:

Duolingo:

Not very useful to actually teach me intricacies of grammar

Good way to revise and improve vocabulary

Requires listening to and replication of pronunciation

No options for experimenting with language knowledge (e.g. creativity using the language and therefore challenging self to be more independent with language – ‘thinking too much’ challenge)

Instagram: Following French Instagrams with language teaching focus, as well as sourcing some French Instagrams with an aesthetic I would like.

Exposure to native speakers of French and content intended for native speakers – broad exposure to structures, vocab, and culture I may otherwise be unaware of.

No output from me (unless I interact with the Instagrams in French)

iPhone: Changing language on iPhone to French

Only useful up to a certain point (once vocab for common phone notifications is learnt)

May be frustrating when I am trying to go about daily activities.

Netflix:

Preserves interest/motivation as language can be explored without focusing on the task as a targeted learning activity.

Native speaker speed and pronunciation, as well as slang and culture.

Some English movies/programs can be dubbed with French – expands content available and possibly means I can watch content that I’m already watching in French)

Youtube:

Gives a larger variety of content with which to preserve interest/motivation.

Good way to gain access to various teaching strategies for particularly challenging aspects of language.

Very self-guided -> can be very basic or very challenging.

Due to volume of content could be difficult to successfully locate useful resources.

Podcasts:

Countless options offered from lessons, news-readings, audiobooks, talks etc.

Many offered at various levels of French (purpose-made)

Not currently a habit of mine – often use my phone to listen to things when I specifically want to relax (e.g. after work or class), meaning that in such an occasion I may have to force myself into this.

CEFR language level tests:

Will be frustrating on top of usual class assessment.

Potentially not very accurate as the tests I have source seem to have only 20-30 questions on which to base their results. Therefore, may be necessary to take tests from multiple sources each time.

Tests may recycle questions so that it would be unwise for me to take the same test more than once over the course of this challenge.

My plan:

Trying to add activities into my day that I can reasonably attempt to incorporate as habits. This involves evaluating technology that I already use on a daily basis in terms of how my use of each may be altered slightly to increase French exposure.

Incorporating 4+ 30 minute or longer French listening activities into each week (May be Netflix show, movie, podcast, Youtube video).

Duolingo: Reaching 50XP per day.

Instagram: Because I already check Instagram almost daily, I will make sure to properly read through the content from the French Instagrams that I follow, making sure that I unpack the meaning completely.

iPhone: Changing language to French so that exposure every day is unavoidable.

My evaluation approach:

My goal of achieving a final mark of 6.0 or higher will be evaluated from the grades which I receive in my FREN2010 course at university. I will additionally record results from class assessment on my blog.

At the start of the challenge and every following fortnight I will take an online French placement test based on the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFRL) learning levels. I will change the source of such a test each time, and perhaps do multiple tests at the same time, in order to increase accuracy of results.

Blog 1 Reflection:

I have intentionally designed my language learning challenge so that over the semester I can develop it in any way that I think is suitable. I have taken such an approach as this challenge must be incorporated into my daily life, and I want to go into the challenge from a practical perspective knowing that some aspects of the initial plan may be less realistic to fit into my lifestyle than others. Furthermore, I may discover that some aspects are less helpful for me in terms of achieving my learning goals than I thought they would be. Over the next week, I think it is important that I further evaluate my chosen technologies in terms of my goals and learning strategies, and do more research to explore other technologies which may be more useful for me in the context of this challenge. I would like to revise my plan for the challenge if necessary.

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lonesomealley · 5 years

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The Beginner’s Guide as a Proper Beginner’s Guide SCRIPT

Why The Beginner’s Guide is a proper beginner’s guide.

By Count_

Spoiler Warning / Opening

Warning, this is the obligatory spoiler warning, if you have not played The Beginner’s Guide I fully recommend that you purchase it for full price and play it. Although if you do not have money, I would recommend that you then go and watch a YouTube let’s play of the experience because you can effectively get the same experience from both despite what some people say. In the description below is a link to a silent let’s play that I recorded which is what was used as the footage for parts of this video. Please watch or play this experience and then come back and watch this video, it won’t be going anywhere. Also, just in case you may want to listen to this video purely through audio, you may miss out on many of the examples that I’ll be flashing up in the backgrounds of my commentary. Spoiler warning over in 3… 2… 1...

The Beginner’s Guide is a narrative experience created by the brilliant mind of Davey Wreden. What ensues is a hybrid of a first and second person narrative where the player walks about the small -death of the author like- 3D environment projects created by an ominous character named Coda. And over time the player begins to learn that the narrator, Davey Wreden himself, isn’t to be entirely trusted. Keeping details of the game emitted until Coda them self leaves a message explaining why they aren’t around anymore.

My overview of this information is so simple because the experience itself is not what the video’s about. The video you’re watching is a case study into how the player can use The Beginner’s Guide as a valuable resource when working on their own passion projects. Since i have played The Beginner's Guide over ten times now, I can say with certainty that there is a lot more here than just an interesting drama. The name “The Beginner’s Guide” not only reflects genius work but is also a dive into the basics of how to make art, media, writing, etc. I’m led to believe that the topics I’m about to discuss hasn’t been considered all too much either, because when looking into the idea there doesn’t appear to be any documentation on these concepts. So what I’m going to talk about are ways that I feel the medium of passion work can be pushed to the absolute limits. Here are some timestamps on screen and they will be in the description if you wish to click past the parts that don’t seem interesting to you.

Case 1: Build with a Purpose

It’s arguable to say that the levels in The Beginner’s Guide are somewhat poorly constructed at times and even amateur. Which is interesting when you take into account that Wreden is taking us on a journey through a collection of amateur environment-story telling projects. And in turn this property makes these levels believable, the player actually feels like they are going through levels produced by someone who isn’t getting paid for their work. Now some people will say that this argument simply exists to dodge criticism but hear me out. Would the experience really be strengthened by having highly polished and professional levels that give the idea that these levels were created by a professional while talking about a single character who simply created these games for them self? No, no it wouldn’t. Wreden even uses this as a plot device when talking about the house level, where he states: [VIDEO CLIP WHERE DAVEY CALLS OUT THE INCREASING QUALITY]. Obviously something to consider when paying attention to the release dates of Coda’s works.

This may seem obvious to some, but those who are just starting off in design should make sure that everything they create has a purpose. I especially find myself in a loop of not really knowing what I want to do because I don’t have a grasp on what is important to developing the world I am trying to show off. What’s the solution? You can build the essentials of a project piece and then add the meaningless details later. Just make sure those meaningless details don’t ruin the overall purpose you are trying to give your work. Although that is no reason for the developers to become lazy with their work; that’s not what is being advertised here. What’s trying to be said is to make everything believable because immersion is one of the preeminent, vital ‘organs’ of passion design. Just like mentioned above, Wreden intentionally made everything appear amateur not to ease his workload, but to convince they player these games were truly made by someone else in their spare time. And from here, the player is given a gateway into the convincing mind of an imaginary character.

A few examples come to mind, such as the environment changing as you move through it to imply the player is in a dreamlike state. Or the player is experiencing the world through the eyes of a grumpy old man who is dying and dissatisfied with his life, so you show the world around in him a different light to reflect this: Dirty textures, things dying underneath the character as he walks around the environment. How about a character that suffers from PTSD triggered from symbolistic objects, and so the developer may make those symbols stand out from the environment, something as simple as making the object colorless in a colorful environment. All of these ideas are relatively simple, yet their impact should not underestimated when it comes to storytelling.

Another thought to maintain as well, keep things simple yet use complexity to your advantage. The literal language that I am speaking right now is based on using simplistic words and sounds to communicate ideas to each other. It’s when one starts applying complexity to an idea and object that it makes such stand out from all of the other ideas and objects. If you’re writing a story for example, you won’t describe every single object in the story unless it provides a gateway to deeper plot devices and storytelling. I can say, “The child tiptoed across the floor.” in a scenario where nothing

else is important except that the child tiptoed across the floor. To add complexity onto this sentence, I can apply details like, “The child tiptoed across the floor in the darkest hours of night.” Now what we have is a situation where a child is probably sneaking around somewhere to avoid something. Finally I can add detailing about the floor, “The child tiptoed across the wooden, creaky flooring at the darkest hours of night.” Now what we have is a sentence that implies a form of danger and performance. It can be important that the child tiptoes across the creaky floor to avoid his parents hearing them, or possibly that they’re trying to escape a monster. There’s even an example of this in the material, you notice these characters? All of them have a distinct box on their head that indicates what role they have in the story. Except for this one. Why? Because it can be inferred that this is a representation of a person from the real world, and that these are prop characters used for a story, whether it be Coda or just a random character used to pull off this idea.

How The Beginner’s Guide pulls off this technique is very subtle, yet when the player looks past the melancholy story and strange environments, they can find how perfectly everything fits into the grand scale of Wreden’s creation. This idea can be applied to most other reputable games as well. If you don't believe me, try looking at your favorite video game, movie, or story, and look at how perfectly the world is crafted simply because everything was created with a purpose.

Case 2: Every POV’s a Screenshot

This next topic drops off the storytelling side of passion design for a little bit, and is more purely about visual design such as video games, painting, and even photography, sprinkled in with some audio design, yet primarily video games since they enact interactivity. If you’re looking for tips on how to do storytelling and are not interested in anything else, you can skip to the next case in the video. Although I would recommend sticking around for this part if you are looking to give your audience a unique mental image to remember your work.

Imagine being placed into a plain, grey, room. No doors, no windows, just you and your mind, starved of entertainment Then all of a sudden, the wall transforms into this bizarre rainbow tunnel or the wall starts getting really trippy. Which one looks better? This, or this [of course showing examples]. If a photographer were to take a picture of either room, which do you think will sell better to an audience? Here is an example from the level Mobius, the player is in a spaceship with a giant door hurdling itself at the ship. Look at this screenshot, everything feels crafted in a way that looks like a work of art, with the main focus being the large colliding space door. Think of abnormalities like this and start applying them everywhere. Except in this scenario, the abnormality only exist because of a painfully plain existence within a controlled environment. Sometimes the abnormalities are subtle enough that it resonates with the observer and becomes something of beauty. Then there are large collections of these abnormalities, which interact with each other to create environments, paintings, defining words scrawled out onto a page. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re wondering “what I am talking about.”

To actually understand the insanity of the first paragraph I need to explain the idea of abnormalities, because believe it or not, our entire reality is made up of those abnormalities. When walking outside everyday, the average person may not take notice of everything around them because they are familiar with the area. Now think of someone who has never been in that environment before, such as a tourist who missed their flight and are stranded in that same environment. Everything feels very strange to them, and they will be wary of their surroundings, keeping an eye out for threats as well as useful places like hotels and fast food joints. What may be a boring town for one person could be seen as mysterious by another. The world is abnormal when you think about it, because all of our standards are different from each other. Google’s definition of abnormal is: “Deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.” Now then you have to ask the question, “What is normal?” which isn’t an easy or even consistent question to ask on a methodical level. Things that are normal are those that ‘conform to a standard,’ yet now there is another problem, what is the standard? Everyone has different standards, though most of us agree that certain topics are normal and others are not, such as murder, rape, mass genocide, war. But there is always a niche, and in an established society those niches are serial killers, people who are deemed mentally unstable, nazis, and savages. And while I could rant all day about these people, they do exist, and they find such normal offenses such as rape and murder to be normal. Normality is completely subjective from person to person, and is only the result of previous experience and morals. The world is a set of abnormalities that creates ultimately what is normal, and this correlates strongly with video games.

The idea pushed here is to make your environments interesting; worthy of having photos taken. I can go through several screenshots that are beautiful, weird, and enlightening about what meaning the author is pushing forward from their work. And don’t forget that we are working with full 3D environments that allow for movement, sound, and a lot of visual freedom. Rooms with unassuming visuals may be bolstered in-game by a memorable soundtrack or symbolic meaning. Before you ask, yes I am clearly stating that you should also encourage players to take audio screenshots, A.K.A. making memorable music. Especially since it’s often said that audio is 51% when making videos [POINT TO CITATION], and that applies here [POINT BACK TO VIDEO GAME] where the landscape never comes across as empty, but rather rewards the player for looking around and listening in. Simply turning around in some of the levels is enough to give off an entirely different feel. And most of the time that feeling in The Beginner’s Guide is reflection, a need to look back on what you just experienced. Although in your own medium, this feeling can be anything: surprise, shock, confusion, even confidence if you play the cards right.

One critique I’ve seen commonly used against Wreden’s works is that they’re pretentious, sometimes saying that these interactive experiences are just glorified movies. I’m not going to go at destroying this criticism, I was just trying to be clever with my topic transitions, but I will provide why this is relevant soon. So we shouldn’t forget that emotions and feelings are purely mental, along with instincts and logic. Abusing the whims of the human brain can lead to player attachment, interest, immersion, and practices with logical thinking. If the designer places a bunch of strange figures in a room in a certain manner, the player may ask themselves, “Why have they done this?” or think to themselves “Why does this seem to have so much importance even though I don’t immediately understand it?” From here the player will begin to develop their own understanding of the world and what your creations mean to them. The player often becomes the played when going through passion work, because it is expected that the player feels certain emotions and thinks about certain objects in the environment. Though that said, it should be pointed out that a good creator should never need to force a meaning toward it’s players *unless again it is for a pivotal reason within the work, again comparable to Wreden’s narration.* Okay now that this information has been told: what does any of this have to do with pretension? Because while there is no need for The Beginner’s Guide to be interactive, that doesn’t mean there’s no benefit received from this interactivity. The case can be argued that being able to control your own camera in these environments allows the player to further bond with whatever they are faced with. Does the player really need to pay $10 for interactivity? Well if this were a movie instead, the player would still need to pay money in order to watch the movie.

Having a great understanding of the world and what can and cannot be by reality is a strong starting point for anyone who wants to make interesting worlds out of their works. Especially today where the lands of drama and sadness in passion really only cover the basis of love and money, there is a lot of room for unique creativity. So use this knowledge in order to direct your audience toward a place that might just allow them to ponder your creativity and spread it far. *Just a side note: I kind of went on a rant here but I hope that you were able to tap into my mind there and pick up all of what I was trying to explain.*

Case 3: Place Your 4th Wall Somewhere Else

Funnily enough, the entire reason that this part exist in the first place is due to another video created by Ian Danskin (aka Innuendo Studios) titled, “The Artist is Absent, Davey Wreden and The Beginner’s Guide”. In this video essay Danskin states the following: [VIDEO CLIP]. And I know later he goes back on this statement but bear with me. While I watched, I had an epiphany: “ isn’t Davey just a disembodied character who really doesn’t have much to do with the environments in The Beginner’s Guide?” I mean, he does have an impactful role on the environment, but not intentionally. Is it possible that the fourth wall isn’t between Davey and the audience, for which he is constantly breaking, or rather is the fourth wall behind Davey [Shitty Drawing]. So by this logic, the game actually does have a fourth wall, which mind you still does get broken, but it gets broken in a unique way.

The entire story between Coda, Wreden, and these environments is kind of like a crumbling wall, thousands of years old. Coda tries his hardest to renew the wall and build it back up to glory, yet Wreden keeps attacking it and tearing down progress. At the end of it all, Coda gets tired of trying to fight for a lost cause and opts to knock the wall down himself. The Beginner’s Guide has a very obvious beginning, middle, and end much like how the story of the castle wall I described does in the sense of a tragedy. In the beginning, the world is fine and perfect and these little projects are just beautiful. In the middle, things start getting weird and more mental and the questions start to come up. And in the end, everything is going to hell and it’s a mental breakdown of both Coda and Wreden. Except that the story gets so meta that it literally begins to destroy it’s own fourth wall as the process keeps going. Because it is established within the story that Wreden is an unreliable narrator, ironic considering he is our only narrator and the person that is immediately bonded with and trusted.

By the logic that we have setup, where Wreden isn’t a part of the story but rather he’s a part of the audience just like the player, then there becomes this strange scenario where the audience itself actually breaks down the fourth wall as the story continues. Immediately is can be assumed that these projects are for no one, they exist purely to satisfy Coda. When you start the game, Wreden even references this: [VIDEO CLIP]. Which continues to get referenced as the experience unfolds. Speaking of unfolding, at a certain point within the player’s adventure, Wreden takes notice of a lamppost at the end of a segment, and of course this is later to be blamed on Wreden for meddling with

Coda’s work. The earliest example of this act is the stairs level where Davey writes a script that allows the players to bypass an intended mechanic by the creator. If Wreden is part of the audience, but has managed to add content to these works, then surely this is some weird reverse wall where the audience is working with the story. And what is now left is a story where it’s a creator versus their audience, and sure this sounds like a common story, but it has quite the unexpected twist. The audience is not intended out of Coda’s work. Coda makes this point abundantly obvious at the end of The Beginner’s Guide when he states towards Wreden, “Would you stop taking my games and showing them to people against my wishes?” There are a lot of unique qualities about The Beginner’s Guide that make up a lot of possibilities for one to begin creating their own work. I find this experience to be a good reference point for kinds of creative works that I want to create. And I believe that there is a far land of unmarked territory that creative works could step into to; a call to become stronger than the media of today.

I imagine a story where another story is being told from the perspective of a child who is reading that story. And there are moments when the story abruptly stops for moments of time because something comes up, like the kid gets hungry or possibly his mother comes in and takes the book away from him. There can be multiple levels of fourth wall it feels like, maybe at one point there is a letter in the story that’s from the son’s father and it tells him of a tragic world where nothing matters. And from there the child talks to the reader telling them to go out and enjoy their life. Or in the case of video games, have the player personally be the protagonist, not like those games where you simply put in your name and nothing else matters but possibly you could be adding things to the game. A game where the player needs to cross a pit, but the only way to do that is to open the game’s map file and manually add in a bridge of their own. At the end of it all though it could just be said, “Well the wall always rests between the player and what’s inside of the experience.” I simply don’t agree, the fourth wall should be a rather subjective thing because it allows for an expansive idea for how to write a narrative. Everything about creative work is subjective really, and while we refer to our ancestors, times change, and to keep up with the changing times, there should be a change in the possibilities of reality, or as I’m talking here: original works.

This case is much more about opportunity rather than it is logic, or standards of writing. Being capable of shifting the mechanics of how a innovative work can operate allows for much more expansion for how new, high quality work is even produced and what that entails. To begin shifting those mechanics, one must understand the basics of how to communicate and produce, which conveniently rolls back around to Ian Danskin’s video about The Beginner’s Guide, which much like mine isn’t purely about The Beginner’s Guide but heavily relies on the material for sake of topic. The video covers the fundamentals of storytelling, authorship, and communication, which has a vast amount of research dumped into the discussion. Just hold out with me a little bit longer, and then I’ll provide an annotation to this video if you’re curious.

Rephrase / Closing

No matter how many times I play The Beginner’s Guide, I will never quite get the true idea of what the story is trying to tell me. It can be inferred what the game wants me to know, but it never truly feels right to make such a concise opinion about a game that wants to be so vague about itself. It’s a piece of work that much like some of the environments in Coda’s work, appears so closed off and distant from any form of distinguishable character. Wreden has created a scenario where you can never truly know what is trying to be said, yet sprinkles enough information so that you can get pretty close. And I think this is what most stories should strive, such open ended-ness that the player or reader can come to their own conclusion of what to take away.

In my personal opinion, Wreden has created some of the most inspiring works that I have come by. It’s always the bizarre ways that a story will attempt to present itself that gets to me the most, such as the methodical lectures from Alan Watts that tells the universe in a very new but interesting way. Except I’m not talking just stories here, I’m talking art, audio, environments, our language, and the interactivity of video games. The area of passion work is currently in a weird spell where works will have tenuous story beats that allude to being more complex than what is presented simply because it’s the hip and cool thing of today. Yet none of those projects are talked about for very long, they all seem to get the cop out card for not being capable of creating anything more intriguing. Those that seek out a method of having that illusory mean something other than, “Isn’t it funny that you’re currently thinking of how weird this game is?” will often find their works to last longer than the ones that fall into this trap.

The Beginner’s Guide is a stand up in the ring of modern storytelling that I feel needs to be remembered. I mean, this video only exists because I find Davey Wreden to be a genius: [VIDEO CLIP OF THIS VIDEO IN META WAY THING]. If you haven’t picked up on this already, this entire essay is heavily biased, most of what I have talked about here stem from my own head; they aren’t based on facts. The purpose here is to inform myself and any others who are possibly lost in the crossroads of passion design, with what I hope to be a unique perspective. For anyone that is interesting in creating passion work for themselves, or believes that they can do something with the information I have provided, I highly recommend you give another play through of The Beginner’s Guide. Because as Ian Danskin says, The Beginner’s Guide is “a strange meta textual monster of an indie game”. [END]

#the beginner's guide #tbg #lonesome alley #original #video essay #video scripts

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swampertspawner · 3 years

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Me, Myself, and So On

A draft for our nonficiton class in university. I hope you enjoy!

I’ll be completely honest in saying I don’t know who I am. After all, what’s the measure of truly knowing a person? Is it knowing their tics? Is it knowing their secrets? Is it knowing their life story? I know all of this. Why then, don’t I feel like I know myself? Most days I don’t feel like a person, more like someone’s original character: a messy hodge-podge of other popular characters that the creator has as comfort characters. If I am to speak candidly, I feel like I’ve taken the best characteristics from the people I admire most and made a vain effort of emulating them just to create a singular personality. My best friend’s compassion, my blockmates kinship, one of my previous classmate’s work ethic, and the lessons in patience I learned from my ex-partner. What happens if it’s all torn away? Who’s left? What will I see? Will I even want to see it? Now, like many people, ever since I started quarantine I’ve had nothing but time. Unlike most people, though, my choices of activity were limited: eating, sleeping, using the computer, maybe watching the TV once but that’s pretty much it. Sometimes when I got tired of those I started thinking instead. Thinking about what state the world was going to end up in. Thinking about what I’d be doing once this all blows over (even though sometimes I felt like it never will). After that I ask what I’ll be like by that time. Then the ultimate question that comes up time and time again in my life reared it’s ugly head: who am I in the first place? Every time I tried to get at the bottom of this question, I’m met with many different answers. Some I’d like to show you while we think about themーme as I’m writing this and you as you’re reading this. I’m a personal believer that two minds are greater than one, but since I’ve lost mine over quarantine, I hope you can keep up for the both of us while you’re reading my revised stream of consciousness. The first answer I’ve come to is that I’m a reincarnation of my mother: bright, joyful, and even coming with a striking resemblance. Honestly, I felt like Harryーconstantly being told that I have my mother's eyes, along with her cheeks, nose, mouth, and so on. I feel like a clone they’ve started to project onto. I don’t completely blame them; my mother passed away at a relatively young age, and I’m one of the only things they can really remember her by. Still, it would be nice if they saw me as my own person instead of seeing my mother all the time. Even as I say that, I’ve still done my part in making sure I live up to the name she made for herself. She’s one of the people I look up to the most. The cutting intellect she possessed, the joy she seemed to emanate to other people; I aspire to be like her one day. I suppose that’s the biggest thing stopping me from claiming this is the fact that I feel like I don’t deserve to. I’m not so mean to myself that I’d say I haven’t done anything meaningful, but it’s harder to say that any of them amount to how my maternal family and her old co-workers talk about her. Of course, every light has its own dark, and it seems this idyllic answer of me that my maternal family keeps in their hearts is eclipsed by the constant sight that my paternal family--the relatives I spend more time with--sees. Seemingly on the computer 24/7, with no real world experience or motivation to do anything other than eat, play video games, use the computer, and sleep. Truly, it’s quite a stark difference depending on whoever I’m with. Like many people though, I do change, whether consciously or unconsciously, how I act towards other people. At some point I felt some pang of guilt every time I realized it, then eventually it just started fading away. Another answer I came upon is my online presence, and all the people I’ve met and all the people I’ve brushed with. This is the most speculative and sporadic answer because so many different people have so many different imprints of me. A lot of it is also dependent on what online circle and community I’m in. Sure, I have a general vibe that I exude to many people: a very chill shitposter that’s funny sometimes, soft all the time. Even still, I think about the people I’ve talked with before and lost touch with. What imprint do I have of them? What do they think of me? Do they still even think of me in the first place? One thing I don’t doubt is my negative influence. A good chunk of my time online was spent being a general asshole with the usual discriminatory bullshit you expect from someone growing up in the Philippines at the time. Trash-talking (even though I wasn’t very good at it), trolling, thinking I was hot shit even though it was far, far from the truth. Granted, I was 12 and growing, but that doesn’t make it any better. The fact still stands that there might be people’s lives I’ve impacted for the worse. Sometimes I think about them, how I want to make it up to them, maybe show them I’ve changed and give them closure if they need it. Sadly, with the imperfect world we live within, the last interaction it ever allowed me with those people is a negative one. Despite all this, I’m happy to report that I’ve grown as a person. At least, this answer has grown as a person. I’ve learned compassion. I’ve learned patience. I’ve learned respect. Sometimes I scare myself, since I say something bad and have to catch myself slipping mentally and right myself right after. Learning never stops, after all. Neither does the fear of going back to who you once were. The growth and development this persona’s gone through was definitely shaped by the fact that I was online a lot. While I’m sure it resulted in deeper psychological scars with a lasting impact on the rest of my life, I’m not sure what those are. Partly because I don’t entirely remember where those scars even are. You see, the funny thing about the brain is that it's smart, and it’s smart enough to hide away the things that make it feel bad (most of the time). For most of the things that happened to me, even if I want to remember them, I kinda can’t. Nonetheless, I still know they’re there. For one, it was pretty early on that I started to break away from the backwards values that I’ve been raised on that were steeped in misogyny, homophobia, colorism...the list just goes on. Philippine media (and quite frankly media in general) has a way of reinforcing the negativity that society tries to correct and progress past. Gay stereotypes, whitening ads, the usual storylines of teledramas that give 0 agency to the women in the story; it’s honestly so tiring, but I’m glad I can see what’s wrong with it all now. Another thing is that I was able to meet so many people that have irrevocably changed my life, whether for the better or the worse. Similar to how I’ve been able to impact many people in passing, such is the case for me too: thousands of people that have changed my life despite staying in my life for barely a moment. I wonder if they think the same way about me as I do with the people I’ve influenced. That’s the beauty of the internet really; so many people can touch your life even for just a fraction of a second and still leave you a different person than who you were before you met them. The third answer for me to show you is what my classmates see: someone demure or unassuming at first glance that suddenly evolves into a noisy, unhinged crackhead that you wonder how you became friends in the first place. This persona’s had an interesting development because I’ve started to completely disregard the demure part and start being a crackhead right out of the gate. The biggest reason for it was that I had the thought that acting so likely attracts similar people; similar people that I’ve desperately wanted to know and meet for most of my life. The truth is that there’s a singular driving force behind me having multiple faces for multiple people. Growing up, I’ve never been able to fully express myself for many reasons. The first one being that in the place I grew up in, I was practically the only person that had the interests I did. That pretty much stands true ‘til this day. To be frank, my household is one of the few that’s able to afford the privileges I enjoyed growing up (namely cable tv and the Internet). Because of it I was the only one that knew what the hell Adventure Time, Regular Show, and et cetera was for a long time. I was the only one in my neighborhood familiar with Youtube communities other than the site just being used for music. That’s not to say the people in my neighborhood were completely devoid of online culture. Everyone was familiar with the usual suspects of Pisonet Online Games: Audition, Crossfire, DOTA, League of Legends, and so on. The problem really only lies in the fact that I wasn’t able to really connect with those communities and ended up alienating myself. You can say the same about my other faces. My being put on a pedestal as my mother’s son was not helped by the fact I was also naturally smart and bright myself. One of the remnants that my mother left me was English being my first language. For the longest time I was talking English better than Filipino (and you can imagine everything that entails a bully-able kid only speaking English the Philippines). Even online, which is often seen as the last bastion for people to find others that they can connect with, other people that share the same interests, I felt alienated. I went so long without discovering those communities or being unable to fully express myself in those communities because widdle baby Raven wasn’t smart enough to make an alternate account. As such, even voicing myself online was restricted. There was never any avenue for me to really be myself. Well, not until recently, of course. Some people say that if a person has been depressed since childhood, once they reach adulthood they often try to take back the childhood they spent thinking they would kill themselves before they even became adults. While I’ve never been depressed myself, I resonate so goddamn hard with this sentiment that I thought I manifested an earthquake when I first heard it (I didn’t; god just wanted to fuck with me for some reason). I’ve spent so much of my life repressing who I was that I don’t even express it to people that would understand or accept. I end up feeling caged in my house, wistfully standing in a dark room and looking out of the window as I watch Spongebob and Patrick have fun being themselves. The final answer we have to our original question is a simple one: it’s the person of who I am when I’m alone, and truth be told, I have no idea who that person is. When I’m alone in my room at night, who am I really? When I have the house to myself, who comes out? I’ll be honest in saying that even when I’m completely alone, whoever the person I really am is, they barely come out. There’s nothing to make a face for, no front that’s needed, so why do they still stay cooped up and hidden? They’re quite the enigma. For one they paradoxically like being expressive. They blast music and sing and dance along with it. Maybe because they stay inside for such long periods of time they bask whenever they do come out. Another thing about this mystery person is how incredibly horny they are. Seriously, you would think they’re a teenager because of their constant thirst. Maybe this is their attempt to connect. They weren’t raised with the healthiest views on intimacy you see. It’s very warped. Despite the things they’ve done to remedy it, they slip at times. Or maybe it’s not horniness. Maybe they just do it systemically. They know that jacking off releases dopamine; maybe they do just whenever they need dopamine and not just because they feel something carnal. There’s so many things I can tell you about them, still: how much they like ambient sounds of rain, how they like listening to K-Pop music because they want to listen to music but not be distracted by lyrics they understand, how puzzling it is that they’re still unknown even though I’ve been given nothing but time these 8 months in quarantine. I can go on and on about all these but at the end of the day, it boils down to the fact that I have no idea who they are despite how much I know about them. It’s true I know a lot about them, but what do I know about them? Why does it feel like they keep giving me tidbits and not the whole thing? What the hell do these small pieces of personality tell me about the whole? As I’m writing this, I’m still thinking about who I really am. The person that’s dwelling just beneath the surface, trying their best to stay hidden against all my efforts to pull them out. For as long as I’ve been in quarantine, I’ve been starting to wonder if I even want to. Is all this trouble truly worth it? What if I don’t like what comes out? The other answers I have are so much nicer than the parts that the final one shows. I’ve lived for so long being comfortable with how I am now; is it really that important I find out what the “real” one is? At the end of the day, I don’t know. I’m a very tired person; I reserve my energy just for the things I deem the most important. As such, continuing with this may just be a waste of my energy, but I’ll really only find out by the end of it, right? It’s still a horrifying prospect to imagine that I wasted so much of my time to find out, only for it to be for nothing. There’s still a silver lining, though, that if I don’t like what comes out, maybe I can just keep looking for an answer that I like instead.

#writers on tumblr #essay #writeblr #writerblr #nonficion

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landraxbct · 4 years

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RECAP

Dang I am not good at keeping up with this blog smh. I tried to become more organised during this lock down. I needed to start making changes in my life, I am working on becoming more focused and creating a routine that will help me to keep up with my studies, which means that hopefully this blog will be updated way more frequently now. I mostly struggled with knowing what to write for these posts, but I sort of have an idea now since the lesson we had about what a good blog post looks like. I decided to do a recap for the lessons we have done already in the beginning of the year to help refresh my minddd.

Week One

CTEC502 (250220) - So during our first lesson in ICT, we got an introduction to what Creative technology is, we learnt about how different ways of thinking can contribute to our creative work. We want to find out ways of using technology to make the world a better place. Creative tech is about discovering new ideas, new pathways. Not particularly about finding what the best idea idea is, or the right pathway, it’s about knowing that there is always more than one way to do something. We familiarized ourselves with concepts and issues, and the theories and methods related to CT. The method we discussed during this week was Brainstorming. Our first Assessment was handed out during this week(vlog).

CTEC501 (260220) - We were introduced to the makey makey, I did not have much experience with this or papertronics and circuits before. I remember being excited to see what we could do with this. We used the makey makey to hack games on our laptops. The theme for this week was “What is an INTERFACE?” An interface is something that objects can use to interact, for example we used our bodies to control our character in a video game. We were then given an small assignment to hack a board game using the makey makey so that players can interact with the game more. My group chose to hack pictionary.

COMP570 (270220) - Introduction to the class and Processing. I remember being nervouse about coding because I had no past experiences with it, I struggled a bit in the beginning, but after studying a bit more in my spare time by watching videos on YouTube and reading through the Processing references I was starting to get a hang of thing. Still could use more practice.

Week Two

CTEC502 (030320) - During our second lesson we discussed creative practice, we were shown a model about the four constitutive dimensions. The first two are how we react inside: Paradox(wanting to find contrast and being accepting of it) and Curiosity(asking questions and being open to newer ideas). The other two are how we react in the real world: Object and Experience(being creative with our engagement with the world through nature, materials, etc.) and Empathetic Collaboration(ways we can work with others, which helps us to be more aware of being able to do things differently). We looked at dispositions, creative myths, studio pedagogy, and reflective action. Our topic method for this week was Affinity Diagrams. This method is good for examining large amounts of data.

CTEC501 (040320) - We displayed our interactive game with the class. We discussed iconography, how it’s an important part of affordance, we need to understand icons so that we know how to interact with something. “Icons are all about context”. the theme for this week was “What is the EXPERIENCE?” What are we thinking? What are our emotions? We talked a lot about emotion, how our body reacts to emotions, what triggers certain emotions. An exercise we did was to find something (a video, photo, etc.) that triggers an emotion and show it to another group to see how they respond. We were introduced to scratch and audacity to help us with our next mini project, which was to create something that evokes three different emotions using sound.

COMP570 (050320) - Computers are dumb, we need to understand how they work and also how we can control them. Discussed binary code and how to read them, I have no prior knowledge of learning about binary code. I was happy to learn something new that week, with the help of some friends I was able to get a hang of it and have a better understanding of what binary code is. Looked at abstraction layers between hardware and human. we also looked at drawing primitives. Our first assignment for this class was handed out.

Week Three

CTEC502 (100320) - In our third lesson we discussed creative potential. What parts of our own lives contributes to our creativity? This was interesting. Our creativity can show our uniqueness. Who we are shapes how we look at things, everyone is different, which is why collaboration is an important part of CT. Working with others expands our creativity because we get to see things from a different perspective. We looked at Concepts, they drive our projects. We don’t usually start them, we grow and develop them. Our topic method for this week was Interviews. We did an activity in a groups of three where we had to interview someone to try and find out their darkest fears without being too blunt and straight-forward. Interviews is a good method to help us find out more about who we are designing for/with. It helps us to understand a persons beliefs and behavior.

CTEC501 (110320) - We showed the class our projects, my table used sounds to make the listener feel like they are walking in a forest listening to calming sounds of nature ended with a some pretty strange noises to make the listener feel uncomfortable. The theme this week was “WHO is it for?” Who is our target audience and how can they interact with our projects. We looked at gestures and languages. Then we lab inductions, we got to see the other creative labs we may be using for future projects. Our new mini project assignment was to create a performance thinking of who it is for.

COMP570 (120320) - we looked at variables, being able to store info inside a program, we use variables to tell the program what type of variables we want to store(boolean, int, float, char, color). We looked at variable scopes and operators. We learnt how to animate images in our programs, how to use the If statement, and how to change or maintain velocity in our programs.

Week Four

CTECT502 (170320) - Our vlogs were duo this week, I was able to hand it in on time. Discussed what a good blog post looks like, I found this very helpful because wasn’t too sure what was expected from these blog posts. We discussed mental and cultural switches, Gibbs’ reflective cycle, design briefs, and technology. Technophilia is when people have a strong attitude and belief that “technology will save us”. Our method for this week was Image boards, they can help inspire ideas.

CTEC501 (180320) - We displayed our new projects to the class, my table did a performance based on a sword fight. We used sounds for effects, it was quite enjoyable to watch. Our theme for this week was “What does it ASK?”, we looked into E-textiles(electronics in textile), materials and how different types evoke different emotions. We went to a lab where they use materials such as E-textiles, our new mini project was to create something using E-textiles to design an interactive interface.

COMP570 (190320) - Our first assignment for this class was due the day after. I was able to finish, I struggled a little but got a few classmates to help guide me. I was proud of myself lol I had never done coding before remember! Anyways, for this lecture we looked at loops(for, while) and conditionals (if, else). We learnt to make objects bounce off edges, fading circles, and drag drop.

I’ll make sure to keep my blog update on how i’m doing with my work. yeah. ok. bye.

#ctec501 #CTEC502 #comp570

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daoudb-blog · 5 years

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Play Journal - Entry #4

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is a 2014 first person adventure game developed by the Polish studio The Astronauts. As an open world environment, the game is described in its press kit as “a first-person mystery game focused on exploration and discovery”. This struck me as the perfect candidate for this week journal entry on the great debate between ludologists and narratologists.

Ludologists believe that games studies should primarily (if not only) rely on the analysis of game rules and game mechanics, while the narratologist approach to game studies prioritizes the story and plot of the games under study, an approach that is analogous to literature and film analysis. This great debate operates on a spectrum rather than in a mere binary fashion. Some experts believe that lufdology and narratology are simply incompatible, while others deem they can coexist and that the issue of their compatibility is a mere question of emphasis.

I was curious to see how The Vanishing of Ethan Carter fares in this debate: is the game more fitted to an analysis of its mechanics or its storyline and character development? Does any of these aspects come out more saliently or are they equally noticeable and essential to the game experience?

As mentioned above, The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is a first person game, but it does not involve any sort of weapons of fire arms as in a typical first person shooter. Here, the player is simply dropped in the game, in a dark tunnel. As the player walks towards the light at the end of the tunnel, a male voice-over discloses some clues regarding the identity of the player character and of the Ethan Carter that gives its name to the game:

“Ethan Carter I didn’t know. But he knew who I was. When the police won’t help you, and the priests don’t believe you, you call on Paul Prospero. You call on me. If you’re a kid like Ethan, you write. Plenty do. Ethan’s letter started out just like any other fan mail, but soon there were mentions of things no little boy should know about. There are places that exist that very few people can see. Ethan could have drawn a map. I hadn’t entered Red Creek Valley yet, but already I could feel its darkness reaching out for me. Finding Ethan Carter wasn’t going to be as easy as knocking on his door. I was too late for that. To find Ethan, I had to figure out what this place was trying to hide from me.”

It is through this 50-second opening monolog that the player is informed of the game’s objectives and basic mechanics: He must find Ethan Carter, which is going to require uncovering hidden clues by exploring the rural town of Red Creek Valley. As becomes obvious as the game progresses, the player won’t meet any NPC throughout the game. The narrative is going to unfold progressively as the player uncovers clues left behind by Ethan and his family. Clues left by Ethan are handwritten notes and stories that take the form of fairy tale allegories that, as the player is led to assume, directly echoes Ethan’s troubled family life. Clues left by the rest of Ethan’s family are objects (and some human remains) which trigger flashbacks in the player’s point of view through which the player can explore further.

Thus, the flashbacks aren’t mere cut-scenes, and they adopt a puzzle mechanic in which the player must make sense of different sequences within each flashback in order to organize them chronologically and spatially in the open world. Thus, in The Vanishing of Ethan Carter, the game mechanics and the narrative are mutually imbricated as progressing in the game requires hypothesizing and manipulating possible narratives in the game by organizing and altering objects that are engaged simultaneously in Enacted and Embedded Narratives (to use Jenkins’s typology). Indeed, some objects, by their mere presence in various spaces in the open world, help the player develop a sense of story over time by evoking some familiarity which is decoded to create meaning, such as the mountainous Appalachian backdrop of the rural town of Red Creek Valley (embedded), while other objects, through manipulation and combination, actively produce the narrative of the game, such as the artifacts that trigger flashbacks (enacted).

Thus, it might seem that game mechanics and narrative are so perfectly imbricated, in such a powerful osmosis, that one can’t really analyze The Vanishing of Ethan Carter while favouring either a ludologist or narratologist approach. If I refer back to how I first came to be engaged with the game however, it appears that the narrative might present a stronger approach.

My first encounter with came occurred in the context of a class on intercultural pragmatics that had a particular emphasis on the use of technology in the teaching of pragmatics for the language classroom. A UT graduate student came to present her research which involved English speaking learners of German and how they behaved and created meaning in the virtual environment of The Vanishing of Ethan Carter. The presentation opened with the researcher inviting one of the students to take the controls of the game while the rest of the class observed the player’s progression and behavior in the game. I which I could say I came out of the presentation with new insights on how educators can help their students develop intercultural pragmatic competence using video games, but the truth is that for the rest of that week, I had only one type question occupying my thoughts: What happened to Ethan Carter? Where is he? Is he still alive? Does he even exist?

Without even playing the game, by merely witnessing it unfold in front of my eyes, I had been immensely engaged in the lovecraftian story it was telling me, or rather, the story it was making my playing classmate tell.

Later that semester, when I finally allowed myself to purchase the game on Steam as it was on sale, I did not do it out of a craving to control the character of Paul Prospero or to engage in flashback-puzzle mechanics, I did it because I needed to know what had happened to Ethan Carter. I had felt the same as if I had not finished watching a particularly engaging thriller movie. And the analogy with the film medium does not stop here: I first try to watch several walkthroughs of the game on Youtube, but I was always bothered with poor image quality or the player talking during the entire video, which are two caveats that will drive any cinephile absolutely mad (albeit replacing the player by an audience member). Thus, if I were to discover the truth of this interactive Whodunit in my preferred conditions as an audience, I was going to have to play it myself.

I finished the game in two days, always driven to know what had happened to Ethan Carter, as every clue was raising more questions than answers. I had not replayed the game since then until I did for this play journal. This time around, although I was still marveling at the ravishing beauty of the open-world environment, I found the experience utterly underwhelming. Knowing how the game ended and what had happened to Ethan, I did not feel any narratively motivated push to play, and the game mechanics alone felt boring, and slow, while I had once praised how engaging and contemplative they were. As it turned out, The Vanishing of Ethan Carter had very little interest in terms of replayability. I attribute this to the fact that its appeal resides mostly in its narrative, while a game like Bomberman, Super Mario World, Windjammers, Street Fighter II, or any big sports game (Fifa, NBA Jam, or any tennis game as far as I am concerned) enjoy a seemingly endless replayability because they rely mostly, if not exclusively, on their game mechanics.

Despite a very low replayability factor, The Vanishing of Ethan Carter remains an excellent game experience that I would recommend to anyone, even though I will most likely never play it again. This discrepancy between replayable and less replayable games shows, in my opinion, that the ludologist and narratologist approaches to video game analysis are both relevant to video game studies but simply can’t be applied uniformly to all kinds of games. Although I realize the following statement would make the hair of some ludologists stand on end, I think this view is equally applicable to other forms of art that can involve narrative. Literary works can be praised for their stylistic processes all while proposing little or no narrative (some abstract poetry for instance) or on the contrary provide engaging narratives without any regard underlying literary processes. Likewise, film can be analyzed for its plastic qualities regardless of whether it offers a compelling narrative, but it can also be praised for its compelling narrative even if it lacks on the technical side. The literary, filmic, and videoludic works that manage to propose compelling form and narrative will most likely stand the test of time and influence works to come after them (Don Quixote, Citizen Kane, Half Life).

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