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mattiehenderson · 7 months

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Elf-Witch

Synopsis: my first Stranger Things fic, don't be hard on me please. I'm so happy to see an 80s metalhead represented in a positive light for ONCE! I couldn't help but fall in love with him just like everyone else with taste. So I prefer writing male x male romances, and can I just say we need way more bottom princess male reader and dom daddy Eddie fics. This is my attempt to try and help with that. So this story focuses on my OC, Matthew "Mattie" Henderson, he's Dustin's older brother who's a senior. Heavily bullied for being so effeminate and goth. He has always had a crush on Eddie Munson since freshman year, but unfortunately Eddie is straight...or is he?

Warnings : Sexual language and imaginations. Minors do not interact, 18+.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Henderson!OC

☆☆☆☆☆▪︎☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Look at me, please turn around and just look at me.

I stared intensely at the boy who sat in front of me in English, wavy chestnut curtains of hair poured past shoulders too broad for a normal senior, and onto my desk.

I could smell his v05 shampoo, the aloe one, and the Irish spring that almost hid his signature Marlboro and kush cologne. Slowly, quietly, I inhaled the scent that was all things Eddie Munson, the eternal prisoner of Hawkins High School.

In my marble notebook that was graffiti'd with cutouts of my favorite bands and scented stickers, I sketched an imprisoned Eddie in a medieval, hooded cloak behind bars, and coming to rescue him was a soft looking male witch. It went along with the story I was secretly writing for my own pleasure, the poor dungeon master who has been trapped in the dungeons of Hawkeye Castle for 400 years, under an evil queen's spell. Perhaps I named her Queen Cristiana of Hawkeye, after a certain stupid cheerleader that I always see hanging around a certain metal head after hours.

I don't know why I do this to myself, in what universe do I have a chance? Maybe in my own universe in my own land of make believe, but nymphs and orcs and furies also exist there so there's that.

In the real world, Chrissy Cunningham is the most beautiful girl in Hawkins, she's the head cheerleader and smells like Anais Anaïs, she has perfect hair and she's a she.

I, Mattie Henderson, am a boy. Not only am I a boy, but I'm a boy who wears more makeup than any girl in school. I wear my bleached curls too long and listen to darkwave. Eddie Munson would never!

I gently huffed before I finished sketching the scene where Matthias the Enchanter, in his red violet cloak and gossamer garments, shared a kiss with Sir Edward the Banished.

It was hilarious really. I have known him since I was a freshman, secretly pining, and knowing we have many interests in common, especially D&D, but I've always been too shy to approach him. Too shy to approach anyone, only having one friend my whole time living in Hawkins, Robin Buckley. I'm not as good with people as my little brother, growing up in the Midwest with being what I am and how I am, I figured it's smarter to keep away. Robin always understood me, since we met in seventh grade and I moved here from Connecticut.

After everything last summer with Starcourt, and finding out about what my brother and his friends have been apart of, I shockingly acquired new friends, the very unexpected Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, and my art class acquaintances Jonathan Byers.

It's been a lot, it's been a fucking lot, and with it being my senior year the stress has been added. Mom keeps asking about my college options, telling me Indiana University has a pretty good art program. But I don't have the grades, I do enough to get by, school makes me miserable, I could care less about mundane things like classes and grades and teachers, and artificial societies. And sure I like art, but I love doing hair and makeup and nails too, something my mother definitely reaps the benefits of. And I don't exactly love Hawkins the Cursed Lands, but after everything and not sure about this place ever being safe again, I'd never leave my brother here without me. And as pathetic as it sounds, the thought of leaving the man who doesn't know I exist makes my stomach hurt.

I felt guilty for my thoughts, for my fantasies about him, for wishing the reason why I put my black velvet choker on this morning was to cover a bruise from his huge, ring wrapped fingers. Oh how I would cut off all twenty inches of my hair to just have his towering 5'11 frame over my 5'5 one, staring down into my black lined Hazel eyes, with his dark, teddy bear gaze.

The teacher must have sent paper down, because with the melodic swish of his chocolate butter ringlets, I was looking up at him and slamming my marble notebook shut faster than you can say Kissimmee. Dark, button eyes glanced at me before doing a double take. Now fixated on me feeling like a goldfish, with his plush, pillowy, bubblegum pink lips parted.

How the hell could anyone ostracize and hate such a gorgeous human being? Then the angel spoke and I felt like he was oozing the gospel.

Here we go again.

All because of one damn class I'm sitting in Johnson's English for the third fucking time.

I was the last one to plop my ass down, toward the back, the desk with the D&D scribbles and the classic "Ozzy rules" that violated government property. I got a snide remark from Johnson, and snickers and insults from Carver and his ball buddies.

This was exactly why I preferred to escape to my own world, where there are dragons and halflings, or when I close my eyes and finger my sweetheart. Just close my eyes and listen to The Number of the Beast, forgetting that reality is being the town's leper in a town where they decide Jason Carver is a good person because he knows his way around a ball.

Johnson was droning on about fucking writing prompts where he cares more about where a comma goes than if the story is good or not.

And then, as I'm passing back the picture prompt for the first day of hell, I did a double take at a new face. A face prettier than even the likes of Chrissy Cunningham. Looking up shyly at me, drawing out a protective feeling I didn't know I possessed, are bedroom, dreamy lidded eyes painted a lavender gray,with thick broom-like sweeping lashes that flutter before bright Hazel eyes, that reminded me of summer turning into fall, green fading into browning leaves and golden maples. Kohl-rimmed, making them more pronounced and more awe-inspiring.

Her nose is cute and broad with a puggish finish that rests prettily between roundish cheeks painted a deep blush. My eyes traveled down to a pair of the ideal cock sucking lips, I'm so sorry but I don't really know what else to call them. They're so full and big, so cushiony and I'm a pretty imaginary guy, so what I'm thinking of doing to that mouth…fucking that gorgeous face, making those Hazel eyes water and her gothic makeup run down those pretty chipmunk cheeks, making a big mess of her blood red lipstick smudging it on my cock.

I shifted in my seat feeling my dick stir, and this was not the time. Cascading around her face was voluminous white blonde curls, so wild and untamable like an elf-witch, very surreal and otherworldly and contrasts beautifully with her dark eyebrows.

And as if my she-elf couldn't have been more perfect, not only did she have herself collared by a black velvet choker, but a cut off Shout at the Devil Mötley Crüe shirt encased her. My mouth watered and when she lifted a fishnet, arm fingerless glove adorned wrist to take the prompt from me, I inhaled the sweet smell of apricots and roses and sweet, expensive perfume. I couldn't get enough of it.

"Munson, are you drooling? Is that drool, freak?" Carver happily and loudly like a fucking foghorn called me out in front of everyone. Nothing new, usually I'm very unphased by embarrassment, I mean I'm a 20 year old senior. But, for once that jockstrap got to me, knowing this enchantress witnessed it witnessed him calling me out for something she caused. I snapped my head away fast and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my jacket before inspecting the porosity. Damn, I was fuckin drooling.

Saved by the Johnson, the droning authority started a roll call. Imagine my surprise when Johnson called out Matthew Henderson and it happened to be my little elf-witch…or elf-warlock should I say.

#eddie munson x male reader #mattie henderson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #stranger things oc #stranger things

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omegaremix · 3 months

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Full Moon Music.

We’ve always featured darkness since our very first broadcast on Omega WUSB. By our fourth show, we came close in completing our first full-fledged darkness set in a more dis-organized era when we were still trying to figure ourselves out. Back then, ‘darkness’ meant any amount of well-known industrial, metal, and electronic acts with an evil, deviant, or negative tinge to it. Think Throbbing Gristle, Clock DVA, Whitehouse, Godflesh, NON, and etcetera. We finally achieved full force during a bonus summer broadcast (#21) and since then things evolved in how we did those shows. We’ve made a point in doing at least one but no more than two of these dark broadcasts per year, usually in the winter as it’s the best weather, and that’s not including the Halloween broadcasts we’ve done. That’s a whole other class in itself.

It wasn’t until November 2017 when I attended Hospital Productions’ 20th anniversary, a night I’ll never forget. It was the culmination of nine months of benefits and stay-at-home recovery from three life-saving shoulder surgeries. It felt so good being in my element in Brooklyn (Greenpoint) with all the industrialists, goth girls, and noise aficionados dressed in black. Ten hours of paying personal tributes to Dominick Fernow and his label made me realize there was more to look forward to. It’s something never experienced on Long Island, and don’t even get me started with what that “culture” consists of.

That event left a lasting impression on me. If the label had its’ magic on me with Cocaine Death, then I was totally mystified with its’ own showcase. Even everything surrounding it - the train rides, playlists, playbacks, the weather - felt significant to me. And then some. The following month, Omega WUSB opened up the winter broadcasting season / year with more Hospital Productions and Sacred Bones music to air. Both of those labels had their 20th and 10th label anniversaries respectively and we loved what they’ve released. Philip Best’s Alien Existence and a shipment of RRRecords’ cassettes and vinyl arrived at the residence; both which made me feel proud of myself. By Year Six, Omega WUSB was more focused in playing darkwave, synthwave, soundscapes, and even witch house. As the colder months progressed, I discovered a Brooklyn goth girl who followed me and liked my posts on the regular. She was that rare person I really identified with and gave me a serious run for my money like no other.

Through all the euphoric ups, heartbreaking downs, and greyscale steadies, the show must go on. The events of Hospital Productions and identification still surround me. They are a reminder of who I am, where I’m from, what I look forward to, and who I associate with. The darkness broadcasts still go strong and we look forward in doing them like you wouldn’t believe. By now, Omega WUSB has been more organized. Of all the different genres we play, we make it a point to do these dedicated darkness sets when the weather’s suitable and as long as the music’s current. Aside from that, we still run dedicated bonus (and even our one-and-only deluxe Leap Day) noise shows and we aim to make all of our other goth rock, black metal, classic industrial, minimal, and other midnight finds when and where applicable. All of our listeners know that organizing at least 15 different genres and making them all fit is a challenge.

This past winter, we aired one broadcast of dark electronics from Avon Terror Corps and the L.I.E.S. label, doom metal, no-tech, and some textural noise. Somehow we fell into the rabbit hole of darkwave, synthwave, minimal, and EBM and we’ve had enough for a great three-hour idea. With WUSB’s ethos of independent radio and our ethos of everything new, current, and relevant, we had a case to go off-the-board.

Here’s what I / we’ve been feeling and experiencing for the past four winters. This soundtrack supplements the pristine spectre of full moons and constellations in the clear frigid black skies, plus all the positive events that still stays with me make for a distinct spell I can call my own. No Wax Trax, no Bauhaus, The Cure, The Cramps, Siouxsie Sioux, or Depeche Mode. No doubt they’re all legends, but not every tracklist or mix has to be that way. Everything found here is current and on a different level. If at any time I need to get myself up, I’ll reach back to this and know I’ll come back to something I can call what’s mine.

Drift.: “Social Front”

Body Of Light: “Let Me Go”

Beta Evers: “Move In My Body Rhythm”

Makina Girgir: “Livides Clartes”

Kontravoid: “10,000 Voices”

La Scaltra: “Rhythm Of Our Dead Hearts”

Vore Aurora: “In Out And Thru”

Void Vision: “Body Says”

Aurat: "Shaitan”

Violet Tremors: “It’s So Good”

Popsimonova: “No Contact”

U.Z.O. / Uho Za Oko: “Medsvetovje”

Colouroid: “Eye Shadow”

Boy Harsher: “Tears”

Crazy P: “The Witness”

Molchat Doma: “Sudno (Boris Ryzhy)”

Hante.: “One More Dance”

Jennifer Touch: “Chemistry”

Minuit Machine: “Don’t Run From The Fire”

Figure Study: “Interaction”

Drift: “Calculations”

Las Eras: “La Esclava”

Gold Zebra: “Invisible Disorder”

Brusque Twins: “What Else Is There To Say?”

Schonwald: “Rays”

Dolina: “Sorrow”

Technoir: “Dying Star (Mesh)”

Sally Dige: “Forget Me”

Drab Majesty: “Cold Souls”

Opale: “Sparkles And Wine”

Boy Harsher: “R.O.V. (New Beat)”

Minimal Kommando / Andreas Ohler: “Minimal Waver”

Linea Aspira: “Hinterland”

Rue Oberkampf: “Tokyo”

Marie Davidson: “Balade Aux USA”

Xeno & Oaklander “Sentinelle”

Aurat: “Pari”

Flesh Of Morning: “Death Becomes Bitter”

White Hex: “Paradise”

Kindest Cuts: “Cold Eyes”

Phosphor: “Another Time”

Girl Pusher: “Where The Fuck Is My Ambulance?”

Debby Friday: “Treason” (f. Lana Del Rabies)

Lana Del Rabies: ”Darcy” (Lav Andula RMX)

NGHTCRWLR: “Firestarter”

Zonal: “System Error” (f. Moor Mother) Wrecked

JK Flesh: “In Your Pit”

Ciarra Black: Stasis

Filmmaker: “The Love Market”

Provoker: “Theme”

Parole E Azioni: “Karaoke Night track #1″

Aurat: “Ilzam”

Essaie Pas: “Danse Sociale”

Drift: “Say It Right”

Deep Red:“Pray For Death”

Ciarra Black: “Dupont Street”

Cabaret Nocturne: “Moon Invaders”

Boy Harsher: “Tears” (Silent Servant RMX)

Kanga: “Going Red”

Promiseland: “Take Down The House”

Lead Into Gold: “Hard Won Decay”

Rosa Damask: Heroes

Zanias: “Follow The Body”

Azar Swan: “Jungle Law”

Canal Street Electronics: “By The River”

Salford Electronics: “Deconstruction”

JK Flesh: “Trinity”

Ron Morelli: “Disappearer”

KVB, The: “In Deep”

White Ring: “Shaken To Sleep”

Pink Turns Blue: “I Coldly Stare Out”

Cabaret Nocturne: “Blind Trust”

Figure Study: “Wait”

Boy Harsher: “L.A.”

Soma Sema: “Artificial Heart”

Natural Assembly: “She Walks In Beauty”

Void Vision: “The Source”

KVB, The: “Afterglow”

John Carpenter: “Vortex” (Uniform RMX)

Emptyset: “Dissolve”

Consumer Electronics: “Co-Opted”

Alan Vega: “Prophecy”

Ninos Du Brasil: “Em Que O Rio Do Mar Se Torna”

Vatican Shadow: “Weapons Inspection”

Molly Nilsson: “A Slice Of Lemon”

Lebanon Hanover: “Babes Of The 80′s” (Tobias Bernstrup RMX)

Urochromes: “Night Bully” (Boy Harsher RMX)

Body Of Light: “Holding You”

Broken English Club: “Channel 83″

White Ring: “Leprosy”

Flesh & Peaki: “Veiled”

Ghxst: “Ride”

Strahinja Arbutina: “You Don’t Need This In Your Life”

Mirrors For Psychic Warfare: “Tomb Puncher”

Ron Morelli: “Golden Oldies”

Azar Swan: “Silent Like A Father”

Boy Harsher: “Face The Fire”

Clay Rendering: “The Pest”

Ron Morelli: “Radar Version”

Vatican Shadow: “Take Vows”

Silent Servant: “The Silent Attractor”

Ninos Du Brasil: “Vagalumes Pirilampos”

Lust For Youth: “Display”

Gary War: “Don’t Go Out Tonight”

Appetite: “Bordeaux Gallow”

Believer/Law: “Foxhole Prayers”

Ciarra Black: “Series Of…”

Silent Servant: “Dissociation”

Vatican Shadow: “Interrogation Mosaic”

Boy Harsher: “Pain”

Contrepoison: “Heartbeat”

Led Er Est: “Scissors”

Molly Nilsson: “I Hope You Die”

KVB, The: “Always Then”

Princess Century: “Crummy Bones”

Natural Assembly “Life Blossoms”

Adult.: “Dance Avoid”

Grun Wasser: “The Deep”

Believer/Law: “Ashes”

Military Position: “Babes Ov Babylon”

Drvg Cvltvre: “Waging A War Against God”

Actress: “Dancing In The Smoke”

Peaches: “Convincing People”

Grimes: “Genesis” (Blvck Ceiling RMX)

Algiers: “Death March” (Prurient RMX)

Rrose: “Surgeon General (Her Insides Laid Bare)”

#omega #music #playlists #mixtapes #synthwave #industrial #ice #darkness #minimal #full moon #personal

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gothdaddyissues · 1 year

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The Devil Came To A Small Town

Chapter Three available on Ao3 - or under the cut (~6500 words)

Summary: Cardinal Copia seeks out Primo for some advice. Izzy and Copia meet again, and continue to pine for each other (like the idiots they are).

Tags: OC female, Cardinal Copia, Papa I/Primo, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Ministry Hijinks, Idiots in Love (heart-eyes motherfucker), Eventual Smut (but not yet), swears and cursings, No Beta (we die like Terzo), Google Translate Italiano

Catch up here: | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

September 30

Her nose was cold.

Isabelle had slept with her bedroom window open. The night air was crisp and cool this time of year and always made for the best sleeping environment. The contrast between the outdoor breeze and her body cuddled in the blankets guaranteed a blissful night’s rest. But now, the chill was creeping in, slithering across her face, tickling her ears, and sneaking down into the cozy nest she had built in her bed.

She sat up with difficulty, her cat asleep between her legs and burrowed in blankets to keep warm. She gave him a pat on his head, noticing his ears were cold too.

“Gonna go close the window, Poe,” she said to him, “Be right back.”

The uncarpeted floor was like ice. Hissing, she skipped across the room to the window and pushed the curtains back enough to close it. The first colors of dawn were coming to light on the horizon, while the moon and stars still hung visible in the clear sky overhead.

Izzy hurried back to the bed, wrapping herself up in the covers again. She grabbed her phone to check the clock - just past 6:15 am, hours before her usual wake-up time. But she was wide awake now, the cold on her skin jolting her straight into full consciousness. She lay huddled in her duvet, staring up at the ever-lightening sky through the gap in the curtains. Today was the last day of September, meaning tomorrow would start the busiest month of the year for her, business-wise and personally. Samhain / Halloween would be here before she knew it.

She fussed under the blankets, rolling over onto her side, annoying the cat enough to make him jump off the bed. It was unlikely she would go back to sleep at this point, between the chill and Poe hounding her for breakfast now that she was awake. She mentally ran down her checklist of things to do for the day. End-of-the-month bookkeeping would be her first priority. She had to make some orders for supplies. Was there anything left over from the previous day?

The previous day…. Cardinal Copia.

Fuck.

She had successfully managed to distract herself with TikToks long enough to fall asleep the night before. There were no captivating dreams about him (or the skull-painted man that may or may not be him). And she had awoken without thoughts of him, until this moment.

Now it was unlikely she’d think of much else.

“Okay, fine,” she sighed to herself, tossing aside the covers and getting out of bed, “Let’s get the day started.”

Izzy took her time with her morning routine: feeding the cat, a shower, a light dusting of makeup, and a cup of tea with some avocado toast for breakfast. She planned to go to the shop early for a head start on paperwork in an effort to keep her mind occupied. She sat and ate her meal, staring out the window at the sun finishing its rise. A foggy haze was descending, the cool air mixed with the still-warm earth to blanket the town in mist. This was her favorite type of weather.

So instead of working, she chose to distract herself by heading outside for a walk. She outfitted herself all in black - leggings, a sweater, a long coat that hung past her knees, and her most comfortable boots. With her phone in hand, her earbuds in, and her moody Darkwave playlist on shuffle, she ventured into the chill morning.

She first went down Main Street a few blocks, then crossed the road onto King Street. She passed the dry cleaner, the salon where she got her hair done, the Reiki practitioner, the insurance office, and finally the library, one of the oldest and most imposing buildings in town. It was still too early for anything to be open, but the streets were alive with residents on their morning jogs or walking their dogs. She exchanged smiles and nods with everyone she saw.

King Street came to an abrupt dead end just past the library. At the end of the block was the entrance to a vast forested area, known to most everyone simply as “The Woods.” It was blocked off by concrete barriers, with a small enough opening to allow only pedestrians and cyclists through. The town owned the Woods, and while it was not an official park, the residents used the roughed-in trails as though it were. Over the years, unscrupulous businessmen had tried - repeatedly - to buy it, tear it out, and develop it, but the town had always fought back and kept them at bay. It was too beloved a spot to destroy.

It was also the place where Izzy felt most at home.

Being a witch, she was drawn to nature, of course. But she had spent so many hours of her childhood and youth exploring and playing in these woods. And as she grew into her teen years, the Woods became a safe haven for her and her friend group. It was a place where they could hide away from their parents, drink, smoke, play music, and party. The secret makeshift clearings they had built deep in the brush still stood. She never felt afraid here, only comfortable and nostalgic.

The main path through the Woods was not paved, but so well-worn that it was easy to navigate. Izzy took her time and kept a steady pace, enjoying the music in her ears while she wandered the path. Birds and squirrels were busying themselves preparing for winter. Acorns and leaves crunched under her boots. This was the distraction she needed. There were no thoughts except existing in this moment and enjoying the foggy beauty around her. She was content. She inhaled deeply, the brisk air filling her lungs, and the heady smell of damp earth enveloping her.

About twenty minutes into her walk she reached a large clearing, known as the Halfway Log Turnaround, so named because of the huge trunk of a felled tree that lay across the ground there. It was the ideal place to have a seat and rest. This was also the spot where most people would, as the name implied, turn around and head back into town, which was what Izzy had initially intended on doing. But she stopped, surveying the way ahead of her.

The path continued on, past the clearing, further into a more dense part of The Woods. It was not nearly as well-worn as the first half of the path since it was now so rarely used. It was a bit harder to navigate, more serpentine, but still accessible if you were confident and careful. Or if you knew the way as well as Izzy did. Because she and her friends had traveled it often back in the day, using it as a shortcut to get to Windermere Abbey.

Windermere Abbey. The new home of the Church of Emeritus. Where the Cardinal most likely was, right this minute.

Now she was second-guessing herself. Had she really wanted to just ‘go for a walk’ or was she being compelled to end up here? Here on the path that would carry her to the mystery man she was so drawn to…

Izzy checked the time - it was almost 8:30. She had about two and a half hours before the store was due to open. The wooded path ended beside the old, overgrown graveyard at the back of the Abbey property. It would take about twenty more minutes to get there, then another forty or so minutes back to town.

Her head was telling her to turn around and go home.

But her feet had already started moving in the opposite direction.

********

Copia hurried through the halls of the Abbey, red cassock swishing around his legs and Grucifix jingling as he moved. He had successfully avoided any more interaction with Sister Imperator the previous evening by taking his dinner in his office and heading right to his quarters afterward. He had slept fitfully, unable to stop thinking about Isabella, and had to drag himself out of bed as early as he could so he could speak with Primo before the duties of his day began. And he wanted to do it before Sister Imperator was up and about, so he had to move quickly.

He made a brief stop in the dining hall, pouring two silver travel mugs full of hot, fresh coffee. With one in each hand, he made his way through the less-traveled corridors at the rear of the main building, taking the first exit he could find that would lead him out into the grounds behind the Abbey. He used his elbow to push down on the handle, bumping it outwards with his ass to open the door, then kicking it shut with his foot once he was outside.

It was a beautiful autumn morning, the air brisk but refreshing. The rising sun’s rays shone through the light mist hanging over the gardens and into the forest beyond. It was peaceful with no siblings or clergy in sight. The only sounds were the occasional chirping of birds and the crunch of gravel under his feet as he approached the large greenhouse on the other side of the Abbey grounds.

Primo’s ghoul Alpha kept watch at the greenhouse entrance, and he opened up the door for Copia when he saw him approaching with his hands full.

“Thank you, Alpha. Primo is here, si?” Copia asked.

Alpha nodded, pointing toward the far end of the greenhouse.

The air inside was heavy with the lush fragrance of flowers, herbs, and rich soil. There were small puddles of water here and there, rivulets trickling towards the floor drain as Primo watered the raised plant beds with an antique watering can. He was humming happily to himself, seeming so content that Copia felt almost guilty interrupting him.

“Buongiorno, Primo,” he greeted, “Come stai?”

“Ah, Cardinale! You brought me un caffè? Ti benedico, figlio!” Primo took the coffee mug from Copia and took a deep, appreciative, swig. “I am well, my boy. Much better now, with this.” Primo took another sip before continuing, “It is good to see you, Cardinale. We missed you at dinner last night. Were you unwell?”

Copia sat on a bench next to the garden bed Primo was tending. “No, not unwell,” he said, “Just busy. I had a half day’s worth of work to catch up on.”

“Because of your trip into town yesterday?” Primo gave him a sly wink. “We heard all about your visit to the magic shop.”

Copia furrowed his brow. How would they find that out? Did Aether tell them? “You did? From whom?”

“Imperator, of course,” Primo continued, placing his coffee mug down on the railing of the plant bed and turning back to his herb garden. “She told us how smitten you were with the witchy lady who runs the place.”

Copia cringed. He lowered his head, setting his mug on the ground between his feet, then covering his face with his hands. “That is… Sister did not… errgghh…” he groaned, “She didn’t say that, did she?”

“Well, perhaps not in those exact words, but that was what she implied. She went on at great length about her shop and how whimsical it was, about her kindness and her helpfulness, how lovely she is. She said those were your words.”

Copia couldn’t deny that. He had told Sister as much. “Si,” he said quietly, “She is all those things and more.”

The hushed tone of Copia’s voice made Primo glance over his shoulder at the Cardinal hunched on the bench, and he turned back to him with full attention. “Is this a bad thing, Copia?” he asked, his concern obvious.

Copia was silent for a moment. He shook his head. “No, not a bad thing. Not exactly. It’s just… it was all so strange.”

“Strange how?” Primo asked, picking up his coffee and taking a seat next to Copia. “Speak to me, figlio, tell me what happened.”

There was a reason he felt comfortable confiding in Primo. The old man was patient and understanding, but above all, he was like the father he’d never had. Copia knew he could trust him and that Primo would offer thoughtful and logical advice. He raised his head from his hands. “There is something about her that I cannot explain. When I met her, it felt as if… well, as if I knew her already. I was so drawn to her, I could not look away. I took her hand and I did not want to let go. I felt like an absolute fool. And then I couldn’t sleep last night for thinking of her. This is not like me, Primo. I’ve never had something like this happen before. It makes no sense. I’m confused.”

Copia was clearly distraught, but Primo could not help but raise his eyebrows and give a soft chuckle. “Ah yes,” he began, “I see. Things like this happen if you are lucky. Usually for a reason, you know. It can be a mystery as to why at first, but that reason will make itself clear in time. The Dark Lord has blessed you. Why does this upset you? Are you not happy? Intrigued?”

The Cardinal blinked a few times, not really expecting Primo to react that way. He was not upset, or unhappy. More puzzled and anxious than anything else. Mostly, he couldn’t understand why a woman as lovely as Isabelle would want anything to do with him. “I just think it’s a bit absurd,” was all he could manage.

“You are too rational, Cardinale,” Primo said, “This is why you are bothered. You want things to ‘make sense.’ You want everything to have a reasonable explanation. You hate the idea that such things might be out of your control or that fate has decided for you. I understand. I don’t fault you for that, it is just your nature.” He gave Copia a pat on the shoulder. “But matters of the heart very rarely ‘make sense.’”

Copia picked up his mug and took a long sip of his coffee. He still didn’t want to believe it. “It feels… I mean I feel… eh… People don’t just fall in love at first sight.”

“What do you think happened when I met my Lilliana, hmm?”

“You can’t be serious?”

Primo readjusted himself on the bench to be more comfortable, facing Copia. “Oh si, it is true. It was long ago, when I was a Cardinal like you, back at the Ministry in Italy. We met in the library. I turned around a bookshelf and ran right into her, the books she carried falling everywhere. I helped her gather them up, all apologies. When our eyes finally met, it was the same feeling you described. I could not look away. I felt as if I was on fire. My heart and my soul knew her, knew that she was the one I was searching for. My beautiful Lilliana. From that very moment, she was mine and I was hers. 50 years we spent together, Copia. And even though she is gone from this earth now, I see her in each flower I grow here. She is still with me.”

The old man’s words hit Copia hard. He had fond memories of Prime Mover Lilliana, of how she and Primo were infatuated with each other even into their golden years. Their relationship had been a pure example of true love and left Copia wondering if he would ever experience something like it. But that was years ago when he was a younger man. His last serious relationship had ended when he was promoted to Cardinal, and he had long since given up on such illusions…

He gave Primo’s arm a gentle squeeze. “You were a very lucky man to have known such love in your life. But I’m not searching for anything, or anyone.”

“Your head may not be, but your heart is. It always is. Things come to you when you stop looking for them,” Primo said sagely. “You need to get out of here,” he tapped Copia on the forehead, “And use this instead,” he nudged him in the middle of his chest. “Thank Satanas you do not think with your dick like Terzo does.”

The two men shared a knowing laugh. Primo’s youngest brother Terzo, the wild and lascivious Papa Emeritus the Third, would never have such hesitant thoughts when it came to an attractive woman. Copia was no stranger to carnal pleasure - he was, after all, high-ranking clergy in a church that encouraged such things. But he had no desire to compete with Terzo’s libertine antics.

“We joke, yes, but I am serious Copia,” Primo said softly. “These last few years have been challenging for us all, but for you especially - becoming Papa’s Cardinale, leaving Italy and Sister Antonella to come here… You do so much for us, for the Ministry, but I see you have changed. You work, you eat, you sleep. You isolate yourself. Where is your joy, figlio? I worry about you. True, you are not an Emeritus by blood, but to us you are family. We want you to be happy. You should have seen Sister Imperator last night, so excited talking about you and this lady.”

This was Copia’s chance to divert the topic of conversation from himself to the real reason he came to speak with Primo. “Speaking of Sister Imperator, have you found her… difficult to deal with of late?”

Primo shook his head. “No, not more so than usual. But I don’t interact with her as much as you do. Has she been causing you trouble?”

“She was the one who sent me into town yesterday. She insisted that I go, told me I had to meet Miss Bennett. It was on purpose. It felt like she was pushing us together. I suspect it was all because of one of her damn visions.”

“I would not be surprised. The Sister has become quite the avid prophet of late, eh?” Primo mused before downing the last of his coffee.

“Do you think we should be concerned?” Copia asked. “It’s starting to worry me.”

“Why?” Primo stood and shuffled off to the potting table in the corner. “Imperator has always had visions of some sort, as far back as I can remember. Births, deaths, times of joy or turmoil - she saw them beforehand.” He returned with a small pair of shears and began pruning overgrowth from his herbs. “I was always impressed with her accuracy. She would warn me when bad weather was coming so I could protect my plants. And there was that time she told Terzo who would win the Superbowl. He won quite a lot of money making bets.”

“Yes, but compare that to what she’s doing now. Buying this Abbey, all the renovations, moving our Clergy here, taking on students, summoning more Ghouls… These are major decisions that affect all of us, and The Ministry as a whole. Based on one woman’s visions.”

“But these are all good things, yes?” Primo countered, “We are thriving here! Our numbers increase week on week. We are spreading our message. As the Sister’s commitment to the Dark One grows, so does her connection with Him. Her devotion is rewarded with the strengthening of her foresight.”

“Primo, you and I both know that the Dark One does not just grant gifts. There is always a price,” Copia said, gesturing to his white eye, the symbol of his communion with the lord Lucifer. “What price will she have to pay for this great blessing, hm?”

The old man stopped fussing with his plants and turned his full attention back to Copia. “I do not know, figlio,” he said, an edge of worry in his voice, “If Sister has made a contract with our Dark Lord for her visions, she is wise enough to know the consequences. There is little we can do to change that. Hopefully, the continued success of The Ministry will be payment enough.”

“I hope so,” Copia said ruefully. “I worry that she’d burn this place down with all of us inside just because The Devil told her to.”

Primo sighed. “You are not the only one to have such concerns. Secondo has said similar things to me. He too worries that this is getting out of hand and that Sister Imperator is playing a dangerous game. Trust me when I say he is keeping an eye on her. I will tell him you are worried as well.”

“Thank you, Papa,” Copia nodded. “What about the others? What do they think?”

“They say and do nothing. Terzo is Terzo. He he reaping the rewards of our success without worrying about the consequences. But he would side with us if it came to that, this I know. And Nihil, quel vecchio sporcaccione, is as useless as tits on a bull. Whatever Imperator wants, he agrees. As it has always been.”

With a furrowed brow, Copia finished the last of his coffee. This conversation with Primo wasn’t easing his fears in the slightest. Secondo was the most experienced of the brothers in communicating with the Dark One. If he was nervous about Imperator’s heightened abilities, Copia was right to be uneasy.

Primo sat next to him again, placing a reassuring hand on Copia’s arm. “I think I understand… you and Sister have a complex relationship. She is like a mother to you. You worry about her, about what she is doing to herself and to all of us. And at the same time, you are upset. You feel she is meddling in your life, manipulating you into meeting with this witchy shop lady, si?”

The Cardinal laughed under his breath. The eldest Emeritus brother was well into his 80s, but his mind was still as sharp and perceptive as a young man’s. “Yes,” he said, “That’s exactly it.”

“Do you wish for me to just acknowledge your feelings, or would you like my advice?” Primo asked.

“I always value your advice, Papa,” Copia answered.

“Then my advice is this: do not dismiss your attraction to this woman because of the circumstances of your meeting. I have been where you are, I have felt these feelings for someone once, and I have never regretted it for a moment. I would wish the same happiness on you. You are a most loyal servant to the Dark One, and if he has brought the two of you together, there is a reason. He finds you deserving. What have you got to lose?”

“My immortal soul? It’s possible Sister Imperator has already sold it to him.”

It was Primo’s turn to laugh now. “Oh, Cardinale, she would never! You are too dear to her. But I would sell my soul five times over to have Lilliana back in my arms again. To me, it would be worth it.” His tone grew more serious, “Try not to let Sister trouble you, alright? We will keep watch over her. Live your life and try to find some happiness. Will you do that for me?”

“I’ll try, Primo. But no promises. I already have a full-time job keeping Terzo out of trouble,” Copia replied with a weary smile.

“We’ll see if we can’t get you some help with that too,” Primo offered, “You shouldn’t have to shoulder that burden alone.”

Primo’s Ghoul abruptly appeared, on alert. He stared pointedly out of the greenhouse window towards the back of the Abbey grounds. He was tense, his hands flexed with claws at the ready, and a low growl came from his throat.

“What is it Alpha?” Primo asked, alarmed. He stood and went to his Ghoul, following his line of sight with his own. Alpha stood in front of him protectively, but Primo placed his hand on the Ghoul’s shoulder to calm him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. It’s just a visitor.”

Copia popped up from the bench. “Oh! Is the deer back again?” he asked excitedly, making his way to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of the stag that visited most mornings.

It was not the deer. It was a woman walking through the abandoned cemetery at the edge of the property. Even from several yards away, Copia recognized her immediately. His heart fluttered, his breath hitched. Isabella.

“Oh sweet Satanas, Primo. It’s her,” he whispered, “It’s Miss Bennett.”

“Well, well, well,” Primo grinned, “If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is, Copia. You’d best go say hello to her, si?”

********

Izzy emerged from the Woods through a bower formed by the thick, unkempt hedges that edged the Abbey’s property. The abandoned nun’s cemetery stood just ahead of her, still shrouded in fog, most of its thin, plain tombstones jutting out of the ground at odd angles. Some stones were broken, while others lay flat on the ground in various states of decay, covered in moss and ivy. It was a bit more run-down than the last time she had been out here and vastly worse than she recalled from back in the day. It was dank and dreary, and perfectly melancholy.

Off to her left, several yards away was Windermere Abbey. This was the first time she had seen it since the Church of Emeritus had taken possession. Her last visit here with Ari was the previous autumn - it had been derelict for years at that point. Their amateurish attempts at urban exploration yielded nothing but crumbling old buildings filled with trash and graffiti, infestations of rats, gaping holes in the roofs, broken windows, and rotting wood.

But now? Now it was nothing like she had remembered.

The main chapel and all the other structures surrounding it looked as pristine as old buildings could possibly be. A new metal roof had been installed. All the masonry was repaired. Stained glass windows had been re-installed, and even the greenhouse was restored. The gardens were perfectly manicured, bordered by neat paths of clean gravel. Even the long wooden dormitory building along the side of the property had been completely rebuilt. It had likely been decades since it looked so immaculate. Izzy estimated that it must have cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, maybe even millions, to renovate it to this condition. And the interior was no doubt refurbished in a similar, grand manner. This beautiful piece of history was finally being appreciated again, but it was a stark contrast to the overgrown graveyard here.

She strolled through the cemetery, one of her clique’s favorite places to hang out and do dramatic, goth fashion photoshoots when she was a teenager. It was embarrassing to think about now, especially after learning the history of the building and the convent that occupied it. All these women who had lived their lives in pious devotion were long forgotten, their names barely visible on the worn stone tablets. Nature was taking it over, and Izzy found that morbidly appropriate. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and all that.

The sun was rising higher in the sky now, burning off the lingering fog. She would have to start her walk back to town soon to open the store on time. There hadn’t been a soul out on the Abbey grounds at this early hour, and she felt oddly disappointed. Some part of her had hoped she would see the Cardinal… which was silly, really. Did she expect him to be sitting there waiting for her? Of course not. He’d have no way of even knowing she was here. It was early, he was a busy man, he had duties and classes to teach, and a life of his own. This was technically his home - if he saw her, would he think she was stalking him? Was she trespassing on private property?

Suddenly, she was an anxious mess. Her mind raced with panicked thoughts. This is stupid. Why am I here? I shouldn’t have come… I need to get back. Go quick, before someone sees you, dumbass…

Izzy turned on her heel and started back towards the Woods. She took one last, admiring glance towards the Abbey.

That’s when she saw him. The Cardinal. Clad in a deep crimson cassock. Approaching her.

Holy shit.

Her head felt fuzzy and her heart was hammering in her chest as he came closer. The panic she was feeling just moments ago was still thrumming through her, like a hormonal teenager coming face to face with her crush.

The Cardinal must have sensed her anxiety. He moved forward slowly, as if she were a frightened animal that he didn’t want to scare off. And then he waved. A shy, awkward wave accompanied by an equally shy, awkward smile. He gazed at her, those hypnotic mismatched eyes twinkling, and it melted away the panic inside of her. She returned the wave, realizing only then that she still had her earbuds in and the music blasting through them. She quickly pulled them out and stashed them in her pocket, silencing her phone just as she heard him say “Hello.”

“Hello, Cardinal,” she smiled, stepping forward to close the distance between them. “I, uh… I hope I’m not intruding. You don’t mind me being here, do you?”

“Oh no no no, you are not intruding! Not at all! It is a pleasure to see you,” he stammered, full of nervous energy. “But, eh… how did you… what are you doing out here?”

“I was taking a walk,” she replied, “It’s a beautiful morning, with the fog. I couldn’t resist.”

“You walked? All the way from town?” he asked, incredulous.

“Yes, there’s a shortcut through the woods,” she said, motioning over to the dense trees nearby. “It starts right next to the library on King Street. Takes about half an hour or so.”

“I had no idea! Do… do you walk this way often?”

“Not as often as I used to. Haven’t been since the Abbey was sold.” She nodded towards the building. “It looks amazing, by the way! Last time I saw it, it was practically falling down. Now it’s almost good as new! You’ve even rebuilt the original greenhouse.”

“Yes, everything is completely refurbished inside and out,” Copia said proudly, “And Primo was quite insistent that the greenhouse be included in that.”

“Primo?”

“He was the head of our church, many years ago,” he explained. “He’s enjoying his retirement with us now. The greenhouse is his pride and joy.”

Izzy could see an older gentleman standing at the windows of the greenhouse, watching them with a smile on his face. “Is that him?” she asked.

The Cardinal glanced back, and the old man waved to acknowledge him. “Eh, yes, it is. I was just sharing a morning coffee with him. He is a good man… like a father to me.” Copia gave a small wave in return, and Izzy joined in with a wave of her own. She watched Primo wander away from the window, the smile still on his face, before she turned her attention back to the man in front of her.

“The only thing still needing to be dealt with is this place, I’m afraid,” Copia continued, referring to the old cemetery, “We have yet to come to a decision on what to do with it. We would not desecrate it, obviously, but do we clean it up, restore it, tend to it? Or do we just let it continue like this?”

“Funny you should say that because I was just thinking that letting nature reclaim it might be a reverent thing to do,” Izzy said, “There’s something strangely beautiful about seeing it all overgrown like this. But that’s just my opinion, unusual as it might be.”

“Yes, yes” he agreed, nodding in earnest, “I think so too! But the Sister, she… well, she thinks we should be asking the community first.”

Izzy laughed softly. “Well, as an almost-lifelong member of this community, I can tell you that most people in town won’t care…” She stopped, worried that she was making the townsfolk sound cruel or insensitive, so she softened her tone, “I mean, the convent shut down, like, 40 years ago. There won’t be many folks around that remember anything about them. And the Diocese didn’t even maintain the upkeep while they still owned it. I think you’re safe to do with it what you like.”

“Then I will tell Sister Imperator that I have spoken to a representative of the community,” he gestured towards Izzy with his hands, “And that the community says to leave it be, si?” Copia smiled at her then, and she could see a glint of playfulness in his mismatched eyes that made her heart flutter. “You seem to know much about the history of this place.”

“My mother was very involved with the town’s Historical Committee back in the day,” she explained, “I learned a lot through her.”

“You likely know even more than we do.”

“You think?” Izzy gave him a smirk. “Tell me what you know and we’ll find out!”

“Well,” Copia began, still smiling, still enraptured with her, “We know that the main chapel was built in the late 1800s, with the dormitory and outbuildings added sometime in the early 1900s. It housed a Benedictine convent. Over time, their numbers dwindled and it was closed down in the 1980s. But it was considered a historical property and no one wanted to tear it down, so it remained unused and fell into disrepair. Does that sound right?”

“Yes,” she said, “More or less… it was sold for a brief time in the 90s, but the town persuaded the Diocese to buy it back afterwards.” She leaned in a little closer to him. “And they were very unhappy about it, I might add,” she whispered slyly.

The Cardinal raised his eyebrow, intrigued. “Why?” he asked, his voice also a whisper.

“Some dude-bros from the city bought it and turned it into a very raunchy goth nightclub. Called The Sanctuary,” Izzy revealed. “Our town got quite a bad reputation because of that. It was a wild place.”

Copia gasped lightly, surprised and amused. “Really? Now that I did not know!”

“I spent many, many a night here in my younger years. Drinking, dancing, smoking up behind that greenhouse, taking naughty photos in this cemetery…” Izzy confessed with a giggle.

“Oh my, Isabella… How sacrilegious of you!” Copia was laughing now, and Izzy couldn’t help but join him.

The nervousness she’d felt earlier had dissipated. She was entirely comfortable in his presence - enough to admit to the rowdy antics of her misspent youth without fearing he would judge her. Instead, he was laughing along with her, endearing him to her even more. For his part, Copia’s initial awkwardness seemed to have faded. He stood a little taller, spoke more confidently, and joked with her easily. She still felt that mysterious pull toward him, but now it felt a little less like some pre-destined arrangement, and more like the natural attraction to a handsome, charming man.

“So,” she said, stifling her laughter, “That’s the secret history of Windermere Abbey. And that’s how I know exactly the path to take through the Woods to get here. It’s burned into my memory. I will say, the exterior looks much better than I remember. I’m sure the inside is very different.”

“Well, you must come in and see. Let me give you a guided tour,” he offered eagerly.

“Oh, I would absolutely love that! But…” She knew that she had to start her journey back, that at this point she was cutting it close to opening time. It killed her to have to say no. “I can’t today. I really need to head back to town. It’s a bit of a hike and I have to get the store open.”

Izzy could see the disappointment on his face, and she could feel her own in her heart. “Of course, mia cara, I understand,” he said. “Would you like a ride? I can see if someone is available to drive you back.”

“That’s very kind of you, Cardinal, but I’ll be fine. The walk is good for my soul, y’know?” She reached out and placed her hand over his reassuringly. “But I do want that tour. I absolutely do. And I want to have the time to enjoy it and appreciate it. So I’ll be back. Soon, okay?”

Copia’s face lit up with the sweetest grin, crinkling the corners of his dark-shadowed eyes, a slight blush coloring his freckled cheeks. “Yes, yes. Soon! I look forward to it.” He slid his gloved fingers over Isabelle’s and bowed slightly, bringing her hand up to his lips to place a delicate kiss on the back of it. “Until next time, then.”

He gently let go of her hand, the soft leather slipping from her grasp sooner than she wanted it to. A simple gesture that felt so sensual, it left her momentarily breathless. “Yes, until then.”

“Ciao, Bella.”

With a smile and a nod, she turned and began making her way back to the wooded path. Her hand was tingling where he had kissed it. She took a few more steps before she heard Copia’s voice call out behind her.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright in there, Bella? You won’t get lost, will you?” He sounded worried.

She spun around to face him, still walking backward towards the bower. “Yes, Cardinal, I’ll be fine. Don’t you worry about me. I know it like the back of my hand!”

Yeah. The back of my hand… that’s all tingly because you kissed it… and now I’m walking away flexing it like fucking Mr. Darcy… shit.

Izzy waved and turned back to The Woods, stepping through the opening in the hedge and starting her trek back to town. Slipping her earbuds back in, she restarted her playlist, setting it to shuffle. It was a good thing she knew the way so well because her mind certainly wasn’t focused on the path under her feet or the music in her ears. Her thoughts were wandering to Copia, his beautiful mismatched eyes, his smile, his classically handsome face, his musical Italian accent. Even his deep red Cardinal’s robes were unlocking something within her, another kink to put on the pile with all the others she had. And the gloves… she could not stop thinking of those gloved hands touching her. Everywhere.

Before she knew it she was at the Halfway Log. She had completely zoned out, wandering the Woods in a blissful daze for the last 20 minutes. She stopped for a moment, trying to clear her head, forcing her attention onto something to ground her. She chose the music. Nine Inch Nails was on the playlist, Trent Reznor growling in her ear about wanting to “fuck you like an animal.”

How appropriate… For fuck’s sake.

#ghost #the band ghost #ghost fan fic #ghost fanfiction #my fanfic

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sibelin · 11 months

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it's been a long time since the last tag game! thank you both to @nights-decay and @you-will-love-each-other (who knew i was already tagged, i can't avoid it now 👀 ) for including me!

Get to know me better

last song: can i say i was shamelessly trying to rip off basslines from every darkwave song ever? with no success, ha! but honestly it has been a music day. i've been listening to lots of different things including song recommendations from the lovely @spinalinjuries ;)

currently watching: no tv shows at the moment but i've been trying to get back into watching more films. i still have to check out the new Prehistoric Planet season with one of my friend tho. i'm forever rooting for the mononykus, i hope he's featured again!

currently reading: i swear i'm going to get through Interview with the Vampire but i can't focus enough to read a whole book in english rn. when i have a break at work, i am reading the last book in the Southern Reach trilogy, Acceptance. i've really been enjoying this serie so far, i usually give up when there's too many follow-ups so it was a surprise that i was liking Annihilation enough to keep reading the other two books.

latest obsession: i'm still trying to make something cool out of my synth. i'm way better at making it sound right but now i struggle more about music making, and how to arrange everything to make snippets of a song. i'll admit it's not my forte at the moment but i'm slowly making progress. i hope i can get good enough one day 😊

if you want to do this, no pressure as always, i am tagging @spinalinjuries @thedevotionaltour @thatgothicfairy and @staticspxcelover

#thank you again!! have a good night/day! <3 #tag game

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hellraiseher · 2 years

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fuck it whatever .. semi-coherent review (with spoilers!) under cut 🎃

objectively i can't say what is Good or Executed Well or Bad about Ends, just that it awakened the id part of my brain and even while consciously thinking 'wow this is a swerve' i still enjoyed it immensely... of course it isn't anywhere near h1978 (and there's no point expecting that any sequel / remake will be a reprisal of the original) and i wouldn't get up off my ass to defend it (apart from That Kitchen scene) but when it comes down to it i love melodrama i love unhealthy obsession / possessive romance i love moody darkwave i love characters who just keep getting Worse i love michael getting undeniably overpowered by laurie ...

the risk of bringing in corey was uhhh i can understand why people hated it but idk!!!! i guess i already knew to expect the film would be clumsy in its 'evil is inside us all' so the disillusionment didn't get to me... and it was from a love story angle and as cliche as it got with 'if i can't have her no one can' i am still a slave to that trope especially when you get to witness corey killing everyone who has wronged allyson / everyone who gets in the way of them being togeddur... my pupils dilated i was there for it 100%

well not 100% bc eventually that lead to laurie but !!!!!

his arc did feel... plausible ... in a batshit suspending all disbelief kind of way.. its major flaw to me was that it has to contradict the simplicity of h1978 SO much and is shoving in your face that 'ok corey is supposed to be michael's ?? motivation proxy/??' which cool!! i will indulge!! but i feel like it's a v convoluted mirror to construct in order to solidify the tether between michael and laurie.. like i feel vindicated but at the same time the source material says it enough...

the unpredicability did work in its favour tho, while i knew what to expect with the ending judging by route previous films in trilogy have taken, i was still caught off guard a lot .. ANYWAY onto most important part

the Kitchen ....

THE KITCHEN !!

i dont know WHY they chose a kitchen (staging purposes??) idk!! BUCKWILD !!!! VISCERAL!!! SHE CRUCIFIED HIM!!! SHE STRADDLED HIM !!! not only that but michael attempting to / inflicting the same wounds she did on him???????????????????????? extreme courting ... THE HAND HOLDING ?? A FLASHBACK SEQUENCE??

A FUCKING FLASHBACK SEQUENCE?????????????????

100% real footage of me:

youtube

i didnt care much for the whole town procession.. i would have preferred laurie and allyson burning michael in the garden like a bonfire but the most important thing is she kept the mask :^)

also the part where michael starts shaking after killing the cop like he's at jesus camp had me so creased

#that's all for now i think #Youtube

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crmsnmth · 1 month

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September Sky Chapter Five, Part 7

"Yeah, I guess it's not really my thing. But, hey, neither are clubs and here I am," I shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

"I'm still a little surprised by it."

"I guess I know I'm not actually going to a club. I'm going to a safe place with my friends. I really don't have friends here. I mean, people know me enough to nod their heads or say hello, but I can't say that any of those people are my friends."

"Chad said you were pretty loyal to your friends," she said, almost off-hand.

"Wait, what?"

"I admit. I talked to Chad about you. After I found out you were friends with him, and he told me how close you guys really are. Don't worry. Chad is an excellent hype man for you, "she giggled. Now my curiosity was peaking. What did Chad tell her? What does she know about me that I don't know she knows" Does she know both the good and the bad?

"Why?" It was all I could think to say.

"You intrigue me. I can't deny that."

"Well, what did he tell you?"

"I'm sorry, I can't answer that. Friendship clause, you know."

"Friendship clause?" I was starting to feel like a little kid with way too many questions I won't get any answers for.

"Yep. Using a friendship for information. Whatever they say is confidential. They can tell me about you, but I can't share that information. It's all confidential."

"Damn."

"I can tell you that Chad didn't have one bad thing to say about you," she softly smiled. The smile that warmed every part of me.

"I'm betting there's a clause somewhere there. Maybe something about how best friends don't talk shit to romantic interests. Or something like that."

"Romantic interests?" Addison said laughing.

"I'm no lawyer. I don't know how to sound professional."

"You're a dork," she smirked as we pulled into the parking lot, parking right next to Conner's car.

"Yeah, I know," I shrugged at her.

We all hopped out of respective seats, Addison once again taking my hand. And Kayla gave a peck on Conner's cheek. A really loving type of thing. It was good to see them lasting. They were good for each other. They kept each other off drugs. Conner was an opiate abuser, and Kayla once was a major fan of methamphetamine. She'd been clean for at least two years or so. They acted like an old couple. It was kind of cute.

Club Specter wasn't all that impressive on the outside, other than its neon back lit pink shape of a ghost. It was unassuming and if you had no idea what it was and drove past it one night, nothing would give away its secrets. Like any other club in the earlier 2010's, they did theme nights pretty often, one of which being Goth Night. And that seemed to be the only time I'd ever been inside of this place.

I won't deny that it did seem to be a good time every time we went. And being the plus that the placed was filled with goth and punk subcultures, it was easy to slide around in the crowd. Socialization without the actual need to socialize. The perfect type of socialization. The club would play a lot of old 80's goth music, even throwing in some modern darkwave. Besides the normal bar, they also opened an absinthe bar. The place was dressed in red lights, giving it the perfect ambiance.

We all made our way inside and headed straight for the bar. Addison sat next to me, and Kayla sat on the other hand of her. Conner stood behind us all. In all the times I went out with him, it was rare to see him actually sit at a bar. I guess he just preferred to stand.

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vegangirldiaries · 2 months

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Intro...

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing...

Hi there, I'm 'V' and this is my journal. I plan on writing here as often as I can - whether it's daily, weekly, or monthly, I have no idea. My goal is to just write how I feel, what I'm doing and just to express myself in a healthy manner. Whether that means talking about my feelings, or just writing what I'm thinking and not making any sense... I'm not fully sure yet.

A little bit about myself: I have been vegan for the animals for over a decade. I was raised by traditional Mexican parents who immigrated here in the US in the late 70s. I am 36 years old. I married my high school crush in 2017 after having been together for nine years- is it weird to say that he's still my crush? (love him so much!)

I have experienced grief in the deepest sense, having lost two beloved friends, my mother, and my aunt all within four years' time. My mother's loss was the hardest, being that she passed away a mere three days from my 32nd birthday, after having celebrated my birthday with her in hospice.

I am apparently what is considered a 'Disney adult', having a Magic Key pass, and visiting the park at least once/month.

There are many things I dislike that only my husband agrees with: We don't drink alcohol, smoke or do drugs, and we feel disappointed that all of those things (particularly cannabis) lately are being normalized in every type of media these days. We also don't like that cosmetic surgery is being normalized. We think people have the right to do whatever they want - don't get me wrong, but most people who get lip filler, botox, facelifts, etc. are already beautiful and everyone tends to end up with that same 'kardashian' face when they're through. What a waste of natural beauty. We don't go to the movies anymore - haven't been for at least 12 years. Mostly because we don't like the ambience. Hearing people obnoxiously laugh at a not-so funny joke kinda takes us out of it. We much prefer watching movies in our 85 in. screen tv with surround sound while being cozy in our jammies, where we can pause whenever we need a potty break. It's just more ideal and practical for us. We are also childfree. We both agree that we do not want children, and I am so grateful that we've been on the same page with this since day one.

We do not have too many friends. Just maybe like four or five people we see every so often. When it comes to friendships, we choose quality over quantity. It's difficult to be a good friend to so many people, you can overstretch yourself easily.

I've been asked why I'm vegan, but I'll probably write about that later, since it's kind of a long story.

I've been told my music taste is weird... I hardly listen to anything that came out after 2016...ish? mostly, I like 80s music, and goth bands. Darkwave I think is my favorite genre. but I also listen to musical soundtracks and showtunes. 90s pop and 2000's metal. Souixie and the Banshees and System of a Down + NSync + Britney Spears + Switchblade Symphony + Marilyn Manson + the Singin' in the Rain Soundtrack, as well as some spanish music - no mexican banda but traditional Mariachi. It's an odd combination, but it's definitely me!

When it comes to video games, I love RPG's like Skyrim and ESO. Adventure games like God of War and the Batman Arkham games are top of my list.

Speaking of Batman, I've been obsessed with him since I was about 4 years old with the 90s animated series (RIP Kevin Conroy). Batman was my first crush and also the longest lasting crush to this day aside from my husband of course!

I've always worked in an office setting, but was always so unhappy and felt underappreciated and bored. Last year I quit my job and became a stay at home housewife with my husband's blessing. It's been fun, but the weight gain started, since I've had more time to cook more meals + desserts at home. So, I decided to start a home business of baking vegan sweets, breads, and even selling tamales. It makes just enough for me to have some fun spending money at Disneyland!

My favorite meal to make is a vegan mac n cheeze with spiced roasted potatoes, yum! eating mostly comfort foods which are high and fat, although vegan, can be unhealthy to have all the time, every day. So, I'm trying to get back to eating more veggies. Sounds weird to hear that a vegan isn't eating vegetables, but it happens! So, I'm trying my best to get back to my old habit of healthy eating and working out more. I'm currently at 180lbs and with my height being 5ft 3in, this puts me in the 'obese' category. yikes! I've never been this heavy, and honestly don't FEEL obese, but I really need to get my health back in order.

So is this a diary type journal? tracking my emotions? a weightloss diary? I honestly have no idea. I just get on here and type away, and I'm already feeling a bit lighter. If you have no outlet for your feelings, and keep them bottled in, of course an explosion will eventually happen. And I guess, I'm trying to avoid a mushroom cloud in my tiny house.

To anyone reading this, thanks for taking the time. I hope to write again soon.

Sincerely,

-V

#vegan #emotional #diary #journal #entry #health #food #obese #weight #disney #childfree #housewife #cosmetic #love

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elecalice · 8 months

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Little context. I LOVE listening to music. Especially electronic music. And more if it is dark. Funnily enough, I used to only actively listen to Video Game Music. It wasn't until high school and a friend introducing me to animation memes where I ended up listening to more music.

And I can thank a CERTAIN musician who has popular songs and, at that time, their work being so used for animation memes... I can thank that certain artist for making me expand more of my love for electronic music...

BUT.

I'm going to rant a little bit about STILL being broken hearted over the fact that one of my favorite musicians did horrible things. And I need to ramble about it because, Goddammit, Forrest...

Yes. The artist I'll rant about is Mr. Kitty.

TW// Grooming

I remember finding out his music through animation memes, and I was initially intimidated yet mesmerized by the dark ambient in his music, and I ended up embracing it.

His music resonated with me during the horrible abusive relationship that I was in. ESPECIALLY "Destruction of Us". That song represented FULLY the relationship I was in, and listening to that song was and still is THE vent song for me. When I listen to it, brings me catharsis. I also drew vent art with that song in mind, as well as other songs.

Also, his music made me realize how much I REALLY love electronic music. I ended up listening to more music, like Synthwave, Darkwave... Especially Darkwave and darker music. (The pipeline from his music, ending with me liking Post-Punk and more darkwave artists like Mareux. As well as me liking more general Electronic music like Synthpop)

How fan I was of that guy? I followed his Birdsite AND IG accounts. And I watched his online concerts that he did in 2020! And I even participated on the live chats! (And I remember being sad of missing one because I had to play 100%OJ with my friends... and a certain one who I don't know if I should talk about yet because YIKES, he was another regret story...)

It sounds cliché (and kinda toxic) to say that his music saved me? But I can say that his music saved my sanity to go even deeper into darkness during those horrible times.

How did I find out the horrible things he did?

I remember I stopped listening to his music because I was more listening to other artists (Both normal and vent-listening). I kinda forgot about him.

I was on Instagram when he uploaded a story, and I was like "Oh! I forgot about you!". Then I saw that he doesn't allow comments now. And I was like "Huh. That's weird. Maybe he got annoyed by nagging fans like in Youtube." Same feelings when I decided to listening to his music (revitalizing my love for his discography in the process...) and I noticed that he also disabled the comment sections, again. (I remember that he disabled the comments before but later reopened those... Only to then to disabled those again)

Time passed, and Astrophysics uploaded his After Dark cover with Miku, which is an excellent cover, btw. I really loved this cover. THEN I checked the comments... OH, this is where I found out that he groomed a teenager fan... I never knew about that controversy and I didn’t saw his posts confirming what he did, because again, even if I was following him, I didn't got his posts. (I didn’t helped that I read that he deleted those posts... What a dick move, as well as blocking the comments in response of the whole deal...)

Days before writing this post, I decided to check on his Wikipedia page and INDEED, Controversies page. There's the grooming incident.

...I was devastated back then, and still I am.

The worst thing is... I LOVE his songs, those have the perfect style for me. And again, those songs helping me during my darkest period of my life...

A groomer's music helped me deal with my darkest period in time, especially with me being in abusive relationship with a a-hole who asked for my heart when I was 15/16, and he was 18/19...

OH THE IRONY.

The thoughts of "I want to listen to his music. I love his songs" are in constant conflict with the thought of "I don't want to support him!".

[INTERNALLY SCREAMING]

(Although, from what I read, is that his ex will receive the streaming money? I'm really glad that's the case. Although there's the issue that Forrest's still making music. I'll not listen to those new tracks, though- Now that I think about it, HOW'S possible that he's, not only still making music, but also now under a different label? Did the new label didn't cared of the whole grooming fiasco?)

At least in the song aspect, I replaced his music with Mareux. In the vent aspect, Post-Punk.

I'm sorry for this rant. I need recommendations of Darkwave or similar music genres/musicians or... How can I deal with this conundrum...

And I'll finish this post with this.

Goddammit, Forrest...

(Random rambling, when writing a big part of this rant, I'm listening to Astrophysics' Miku Cover of After Dark. It's really that good)

#Also I read that from here that he also supported an anti vaxxer??? HUH???#elec ramblings #elec talks about music #Elec rants #tw grooming

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rivetgoth · 1 year

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I went to my first show last night, went specifically to see my favorite band who was playing, Tears For The Dying, and MAN was it fun, I was too nervous to really dance with the first two acts bc it was darkwave so I just swayed with my arms awkwardly but the stage presence of the first act was incredible when TFTD started I felt so ALIVE like skanking and slam dancing with like the very few of us brave enough to really feel it and dance RULED

And after the show I looked at the merch booth for TFTD and got a print, and the person manning the booth was like "do you want a picture with Adria (the singer)?" and I was like internally screaming with joy and she was so nice I got her autograph and a few pictures and I got to tell her how much her music means to me and I even hugged her like GOD this ruled

and as my partner and I were leaving, the person who was manning the merch booth ran up and was like "Adria wanted to know if you'd like this" and gave me the setlist and I damn near cried

I want to go to more shows but I am afraid of going alone, I went to this one with my partner

sorry this is random i needed to share my joy

Ah that’s so cool! I’m glad you had such a good time at your show :) That’s cool you got a picture and hug with the singer too, I always love asking musicians for a hug 🥺🖤 They’re never obligated of course but it’s really cool when they do!!

Going to shows alone can def be stressful, I feel a little bit of those nerves whenever I go to concerts alone even now and I’ve been going to ‘em for years and years and have seen over 100 bands lol, some alone and some not. I just recently went to a show alone for the first time since December or so and I was definitely kinda nervous beforehand! It’s just kinda stressful to be out on your own and I come from the background of having a LOT of social anxiety that I’ve had to work through as an adult. It’s a muscle you sorta build over time in my experience, you gotta start somewhere and just kinda throw yourself into these sorta stressful/uncomfortable (but ultimately safe!) social situations and in time you get more and more comfortable with it, and also kinda get to know yourself better and build more confidence in the process tbh. It’s a practice thing like anything else really, and the cool thing with concerts is that there is an obvious incentive to work through the anxiety since it’s to see a show, plus there is something to focus on so you don’t have to be a master Socializer, you can just chill and watch the show and not worry too too hard on anything else. And next level is if you’re going to the same/similar genres in the same city long enough you’ll start meeting people so even if you go to a show alone you’ll probably be able to start finding people at the show you recognize. 😈

BUT yeah lol, I’m glad you had fun dude!! 🤘

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halodwolf · 1 year

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just finished electric sun so here’s my thoughts. i’m very emotional rn so this may not be very comprehensible but that’s okay.

first of all if you’re going to listen to this album in any order you MUST listen to it from start to finish. no shuffles no skipping around no nothing. it is a story. a full on journey. don’t skip the instrumental tracks. just let them play. it’s worth it i promise. just start to end go through it. turn your brain off and just listen. i usually listen to music while i’m doing something but it was so immersive i just sat down and listened other than to tell mars my thoughts.

a little background, vnv’s last album was noire which came out 5 years ago in 2018. i did like noire a lot but it didn’t stick out as one of their best albums by any means. it was much more pop-y than a lot of their others stuff and it didn’t really have the power a GOOD vnv nation album does. i liked a lot of the songs personal faves were immersed and all our sins but they weren’t raw enough. i needed more Depth. electric sun is exactly what i was looking for in which noire lacked. the two teaser songs before the rain and wait were the perfect singles they could’ve chosen, any others would’ve spoiled too much of the story. before the rain actually ended up being one of my favorite vnv nation songs period, i ADORE that song, and wait is the perfect growl-y sound i missed so bad. they were the best songs they could’ve chosen to introduce the audience to the album.

frankly the MESSAGE of this album is fuckin, insane. prophet is a direct take down of modern christianity. the game + wait are about capitalistic corruption. i mean this is what vnv nation has ALWAYS been about but there’s no more subtext about it anymore lmfao, it’s just text now. the story of loss, struggling to find your place in a society that corrupts, that is unfair, that fate has damned the average, but persevering, surviving, rising with your peers and fighting back despite it all, is so. it’s really really good and is something people needed to hear in the times we find ourselves in now. it’s very deeply moving. invictus made me weep like a baby and i really cannot remember the last time music has made me honest to god SOB the way that song did. the overarching message of survival in a world which that has damned you is very important to me. it’s something i needed and i think something many others did too. sunflare ends the album with the final words

that trails into under sky, a solemn and moving instrumental of reflection. like night sky reflected on water. it’s very.. god i have no words. i really am speechless. i know i’ve said so much already but i cannot even wrap my head around the way my chest felt so heavy at the end of this album. so sorrowful and moved. good god. actually completely breathless. this album carries a slow waltz in the background melody of most of the songs. it’s eerie, it’s cold, it’s so insidious when it needs to be, it carries so much meaning, it carries you through the album. this album is like a reflection pool. revealing hidden truths. the night and darkness. it’s insane. it’s everything i wanted it to be and more. it’s deeply magical. i’m obsessed and moved and changed. good god.

please. if you like darkwave/future pop/industrial branches of music please please listen to electric sun. i cannot recommend it enough. ronan harris is such a wonderful weaver of webs in music and this is his next best story. vnv nation is primarily a solo act, all of the music is composed and played and written by one man. his music is such an impressive display of mastery of sound and tone and message and i will never not recommend vnv nation endlessly. if you had to start somewhere god start here. i cannot say enough here. 10/10. quite possibly my new favorite album period.

#☀️#side note after under sky ended spotify shuffled perpetual as the next song and i nearly wept again #sheer incidental magic but good god

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deco-noir · 2 years

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creaturesfromelsewhere · 3 years

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The Florida Bat Festival

"Yes, Father. I Shall Become A Bat” -Batman, Year One

The Florida Bat Festival has the unique and amazing power to always elicit the exact same response from Floridians when they first learn of it: "We have a what festival?" Of course, as the bat is the collective spirit animal of goths the world over, we know. Many of us make the pilgrimage each year to the wilds outside Gainesville and brave the heat and sun to pay respects to our fellow creatures of the night. The Lubee Bat Conservancy, where the fest is held, has a proper cauldron of bats (a group of bats is called a cauldron), so bat lovers will not be disappointed.

Unlike the standard Saturday tours at Lubee which are quite expensive, entry to the Bat Fest is a paltry $8 for adults and $5 for children. If you wish to partake in the beer garden, its $28. This small fee allows you to walk through the bat grotto as often as you like, where Lubee's huge bat houses are clustered and you get to see dozens of giant fruit bats from all around the world. These angels of the night are truly magnificent, even when sleeping. Every so often one will spread it's wings and yawn or perhaps scratch an itch, and the performance is goth af. Unlike during the pricey Saturday tours, people are not allowed inside the cages, but you still get a good view of all the bats from walking down the center aisle of the grotto. The double mesh of the cages plus the dense crowd makes photography challenging, so bring plenty of patience and practice suppressing murderous rages. Best viewing is from 10 am to about noon - huge quantiles of food are hung in the cages to encourage the bats to a feeding frenzy, but after they've binged, the combination of mid-day heat and food-coma puts them into full sleep mode.

After viewing the bats, which is understandably everyone's first stop, you can turn your attention to the fest part of Bat Fest. This is a pretty standard collection of vendor tents, food trucks, and a beer garden. The beer garden also features live music, and while I've never seen a darkwave or post punk band playing, sometimes there's a Celtic band, and that's about as good as the music will get since the attendance is overwhelmingly normals who prefer elevator music. The food trucks are good some years and not-so-good others, so I usually bring a pocket snack in case I can't find something I like. As with the food trucks, the vender tents vary year to year and range from "Why the hell is this here?" to "Shut up and take my money!"

If you're into bat merchandise, you and your money will soon part company. Bat shirts, bat bags, bat plushies, bat art, bat this & bat that will fight a full cage match to win the hearts & minds of your dollar bills. Oh, and always bring paper money. Lubee is far enough outside Gainesville that service is iffy and some venders can't make enough of an internet connection to take your card while others have better connections and cards work just fine. It never fails, however, that the fuzzy neon pink, yellow and orange bat throw pillow you simply must have can only be bought from the frazzled merchant who can't get connection, so you'd better have cash.

You'll also find plenty of lectures and general info on bats, both local and exotic, so come prepared to learn everything you ever wanted to know about bats, but were afraid to ask.

As Beetlejuice would say, "And bring the little 'pards, too!" Your darklings will find all manor of standard fest amusements such as face painting, photo stands, and a myriad of bat toys to make them pledge, "Please mom, just buy me this one thing and I'll never ask for anything else ever again - I promise!"

But my fav part of the Florida Bat Fest (after the bats, of course) has to be the fashion wars. Much as everyone breaks out their best hats at the Kentucky Derby, everyone busts out their best bat clothing for Bat Fest.

The amount and variation of bat themed dresses, shirts, and accessories is quite dazzling and never fails to bring a creepy smile to this elder goth's face.

Wondering if you should wear that bat backpack you got off of Etsy a few years ago? Is this the proper forum to don that bat themed hat? Should you dig out that bat winged purse and show it off? Yes, yes, and oh hell yes.

When the Bat Fest finally shuts down at 5 pm, don't think your day with the bats is over just yet. Now you'll need to make your way to the highlight of the day - the University of Florida Bat Houses about a half-hour south in the heart of Gainesville. Sunset this time of year is usually around 6:50 pm, so you even have time to grab a quick dinner if you'd like but be aware there is limited parking around the UF Bat houses, so err on the side of arriving early. Watching 500,000 bats departing their lairs for deeds best done in darkness is a sight one does not soon forget...

youtube

creaturesfromelsewhere 10-24-2021 🦇🖤🦇

#lubee bat concervancy #Florida Bat Festival #Florida Bat Fest #darkly inclined #florida gothic #southern gothic #goth #goth af #gothic #goth girls #gothic fashion #goth style #bats #fruit bats #florida bats #creaturesfromelsewhere #dark humor #Youtube

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omegaplus · 3 years

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# 3,685

Full Moon Music.

Drift.: “Social Front”

Body Of Light: “Let Me Go”

Beta Evers: “Move In My Body Rhythm”

Makina Girgir: “Livides Clartes”

Kontravoid: “10,000 Voices”

La Scaltra: “Rhythm Of Our Dead Hearts”

Vore Aurora: “In Out And Thru”

Void Vision: “Body Says”

Aurat: "Shaitan”

Violet Tremors: “It’s So Good”

Popsimonova: “No Contact”

U.Z.O. / Uho Za Oko: “Medsvetovje”

Colouroid: “Eye Shadow”

Boy Harsher: “Tears”

Crazy P: “The Witness”

Molchat Doma: “Sudno (Boris Ryzhy)”

Hante.: “One More Dance”

Jennifer Touch: “Chemistry”

Minuit Machine: “Don’t Run From The Fire”

Figure Study: “Interaction”

Drift: “Calculations”

Las Eras: “La Esclava”

Gold Zebra: “Invisible Disorder”

Brusque Twins: “What Else Is There To Say?”

Schonwald: “Rays”

Dolina: “Sorrow”

Technoir: “Dying Star (Mesh)”

Sally Dige: “Forget Me”

Drab Majesty: “Cold Souls”

Opale: “Sparkles And Wine"

Boy Harsher: “R.O.V. (New Beat)”

Minimal Kommando / Andreas Ohler: “Minimal Waver”

Linea Aspira: “Hinterland”

Rue Oberkampf: “Tokyo”

Marie Davidson: “Balade Aux USA”

Xeno & Oaklander “Sentinelle”

Aurat: “Pari”

Flesh Of Morning: “Death Becomes Bitter”

White Hex: “Paradise”

Kindest Cuts: “Cold Eyes”

Phosphor: “Another Time”

Girl Pusher: “Where The Fuck Is My Ambulance?”

Debby Friday: “Treason” (f. Lana Del Rabies)

Lana Del Rabies: ”Darcy” (Lav Andula RMX)

NGHTCRWLR: “Firestarter”

Zonal: “System Error” (f. Moor Mother) Wrecked

JK Flesh: “In Your Pit”

Ciarra Black: Stasis

Filmmaker: “The Love Market”

Provoker: “Theme”

Parole E Azioni: “Karaoke Night track #1″

Aurat: “Ilzam”

Essaie Pas: “Danse Sociale”

Drift: “Say It Right”

Deep Red: “Pray For Death”

Ciarra Black: “Dupont Street”

Cabaret Nocturne: “Moon Invaders”

Boy Harsher: “Tears” (Silent Servant RMX)

Kanga: “Going Red”

Promiseland: “Take Down The House”

Lead Into Gold: “Hard Won Decay”

Rosa Damask: Heroes

Zanias: “Follow The Body”

Azar Swan: “Jungle Law”

Canal Street Electronics: “By The River”

Salford Electronics: “Deconstruction”

JK Flesh: “Trinity”

Ron Morelli: “Disappearer”

KVB, The: “In Deep”

White Ring: “Shaken To Sleep”

Pink Turns Blue: “I Coldly Stare Out”

Cabaret Nocturne: “Blind Trust”

Figure Study: “Wait”

Boy Harsher: “L.A.”

Soma Sema: “Artificial Heart”

Natural Assembly: “She Walks In Beauty”

Void Vision: “The Source”

KVB, The: “Afterglow”

John Carpenter: “Vortex” (Uniform RMX)

Emptyset: “Dissolve”

Consumer Electronics: “Co-Opted”

Alan Vega: “Prophecy”

Ninos Du Brasil: “Em Que O Rio Do Mar Se Torna”

Vatican Shadow: “Weapons Inspection”

Molly Nilsson: “A Slice Of Lemon”

Lebanon Hanover: “Babes Of The 80′s” (Tobias Bernstrup RMX)

Urochromes: “Night Bully” (Boy Harsher RMX)

Body Of Light: “Holding You”

Broken English Club: “Channel 83″

White Ring: “Leprosy”

Flesh & Peaki: “Veiled”

Ghxst: “Ride”

Strahinja Arbutina: “You Don’t Need This In Your Life”

Mirrors For Psychic Warfare: “Tomb Puncher”

Ron Morelli: “Golden Oldies”

Azar Swan: “Silent Like A Father”

Boy Harsher: “Face The Fire”

Clay Rendering: “The Pest”

Ron Morelli: “Radar Version”

Vatican Shadow: “Take Vows”

Silent Servant: “The Silent Attractor”

Ninos Du Brasil: “Vagalumes Pirilampos”

Lust For Youth: “Display”

Gary War: “Don’t Go Out Tonight”

Appetite: “Bordeaux Gallow”

Believer/Law: “Foxhole Prayers”

Ciarra Black: “Series Of…”

Silent Servant: “Dissociation”

Vatican Shadow: “Interrogation Mosaic”

Boy Harsher: “Pain”

Contrepoison: “Heartbeat”

Led Er Est: “Scissors”

Molly Nilsson: “I Hope You Die”

KVB, The: “Always Then”

Princess Century: “Crummy Bones”

Natural Assembly “Life Blossoms”

Adult.: “Dance Avoid”

Grun Wasser: “The Deep”

Believer/Law: “Ashes”

Military Position: “Babes Ov Babylon”

Drvg Cvltvre: “Waging A War Against God”

Actress: “Dancing In The Smoke”

Peaches: “Convincing People”

Grimes: “Genesis” (Blvck Ceiling RMX)

Algiers: “Death March” (Prurient RMX)

Rrose: “Surgeon General (Her Insides Laid Bare)”

#omega #music #mixtapes #reviews #playlists #personal #Long Island #NYC #New York City #winter #noise #darkwave #techno #electronics #witch #synthwave #EDM #minimal #coldwave #goth rock #deathrock

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phonaesthemes · 4 years

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a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance? (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

#personal #long post #in which i ramble about myself a great deal #@padawanyugi

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