#also. yes i really do need a better pose but this was how i drew them 3 months ago n i am not great at digital

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to learn new things for my art?

What it says on the title basically. i've (25nb) been a self taught artist for at least 3 years and i think i am pretty good at it! some of the people in my friends discord server always praise it and sometimes say my anatomy is wonky which is fair, but the main issue started today.

For my art, i usually just take a picture of myself in the pose i want to draw and then sketch over it to get the anatomy done. it always works out and never brought me any issues but today i wanted to draw one of my favorite game characters! i really enjoy her and she's genuinely a sweetheart, so I went to take the picture of myself holding a knife (she uses a sword but it's not like i had it) and then started drawing, but the moment i shared it on the server people started criticizing me

i have been recovering from being underweight and almost never eating recently thanks to my new job, but i'm still clearly very thin while the character is fat. because of that, i drew her over my body and she didn't look fat which i thought would be okay! i know some people like to draw thin characters as fat which is always good so i thought it'd be okay to also do the opposite. however, some people on the server started telling me that she didn't look like the character and i should learn to draw fat people which made me very sad, i had worked hard on that drawing after all and i'm already pretty satisfied with the point my art is at, plus, it's always hard to learn new techniques and i don't think i would ever use it again even if i did learn it. some people called me fatphobic after i told them i thought it'd be okay since sometimes people also draw thin characters as fat and that i didn't see any need on learning it because she's the only fat character i know and enjoy.

one of them specifically told me that i don't have to just learn how to draw fat bodies but to look for reference images of other body types in general since it'd help me on the long run to better my art and anatomy, but i thought that was an asshole move and called her out for it since she also never draws thin characters and at most like, draws them a bit fat, she then pulled out her art portfolio and showed me that yes, she does, and offered to help me find references but i was crying at this point and denied it saying i didn't need her pity.

Now they're mostly saying i overreacted which i don't think i did and that i am an asshole for refusing to learn anything besides my own normal anatomy, am i the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[yellowistheraddest]

LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT, i present to you 9 drawing requests with accompanying commentary...

request one:

honestly its not a crime but they are criminally curious to learn the rich history of Dallas in 1963! i mean arent you curious, you should google what happened there on november 22nd!!!

request number 2:

OH BABY you know i love making people feel :( my most popular post is characters crying so i was supposed to have fun with it but 3 people hugging - dude, i was no the verge of insanity and in the end pearl just kinda got swallowed up and disappeared.

[[7 MORE UNDER CUT!!]]

request tres:

coming from the last drawing i was still on the 'lmao get sad' bandwagon, and simon and athena they have lived through somethings so once again i drew people crying :D so heres a drawing of little athena and her goth uncle having a nice little hug and nothing ever went wrong

request četiri:

by now everyone should know that my favourite AU is these two bastards meeting before phoenix became a lawyer; ya know so he doesnt need to break his back trying to learn law as an art student - not that he learns much as he doesnt know what a cross examination is in his first case,,

request pénte:

this request marked the second day of drawing.

now,, i might have not read the request before i drew sooo i kinda just drew them taking a selfies at a steel samurai con so i kindly edited the second drawing to contain a peace sign. [the plush is the hellish creature named the iron infant [from AAI i think] and i bet its like the worst character in the franchise and these two will definitely burn it when they get home]

request numero sześć:

now i swore to never post kissing on here so i spare myself of the cringw when i look back later, so just dont read the first half and enjoy the way i found out you cant really draw flicking without making a comic. like the motion is so small yet so powerful how do you draw that?!?!?!?!?!? this looked miles better in my brain...

request shtatë:

you know what else is like rocks? big frozen chunks of ice, like the one here :D

RIP LMAO

request huit:

ah the t4t to end all t4ts. ron is definitely a guy to fall at first sight and bro desiree is the definition of girlboss

also people forget that larry was rons coworker and i need more content of those two because they are just wildly opposite

[edit: ''sir are good'' HUH??? brother i need to go to sleep and just not draw for the next millenia]

now we have arrived at the end of our trip...

you may be thinking "yellow, you said that there were 9 drawings!"

YES, but no.. theres probably a reason behind this but when i opened my inbox and saw this was like a game character who was stun locked. i mean look at this, aka request number NINE:

love ya to death, babes, but please get some rest because i think you forgot to write in the characters you wanted to see. despite that i decided to draw what you requested:

now just imagine whichever characters you waant in those places! wait was your request an investment so you can have an infinite amount of ships inserted into this pose???

anywho, ummmmm.. yeah Now we have reached the end - but do not fear, im not dying or going away. im still going to be here on my ace attorney bullshit as long as my brain can stand.

sadly i have to say GOODNIGHT, LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. may we meet once again when the planets align and it rains in the greatest depths of the ocean o7

#ace attorney #aa #ace attorney fanart #long post #request #ask #fanart #art #phoenix wright #maya fey #kay faraday #ema skye #miles edgeworth #pearl fey #apollo justice #athena cykes #simon blackquill #desiree delite #ron delite #doodles #sketches #steel samurai #larry butz #bratworth #drawings #farewell my turnabout #klavier gavin

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 10

Came Back Different

I wasn't really sure what to do for today so I decided to try something new for it aka no Skwistok today

This entry features Murderface and…someone he would really like to see again, especially after the events of Army of the Doomstar.

“With our cutting-edge technology we actually managed to reconstitute his body, well, what was left of it. We did have to replace several parts with metal because the skin was completely unsalvageable. Some organs have been artificially replicated too to allow him to subsist as…” The surgeon seemed reluctant to say the word. “Human being.”

“How could you hide this from us?!” Nathan looked at Charles in complete disbelief. 

“There was, uh, a lot going.” Charles said, straightening up his clothes. He was no longer wearing that monk robe, instead returning to his old suit and his old job too. “As you can imagine, I didn’t really have the time to inform you guys.”

“Still!” Nathan complained.

“We tha’t he was dead!” Pickles added.

“He explodeds right in our faces!” Toki said, before replicating the explosion noise. “We saws it!”

“I, uh…didn’t sees anythingks because I was unskconstcious.” Skwisgaar scratched the side of his neck. “But they tolds me he was dieds.”

“Dood, it was pretty horrible-”

“I hads you in my arms, Skwisgaar.” 

“You don’ts has to says it like dat.”

“Skwisgaar, you were seriously just out.”

“I fucking knows!”

“It’s nuthin’ ta be embarrassed about!”

“Ams not-”

“Isch it true?” Murderface raised his voice to be heard amongst the ruckus. They all turned to him and then back to the surgeon.

“Well,” The man cleared his throat. “Like I said, we essentially patched him back together so we’re unclear about the side effects so far. But he’s alive, yes.”

“Can we schee him?” Murderface asked, for once not making an inappropriate comment or cracking a rude joke. His left fist was clenched and his eyebrows were furrowed together though not out of anger. 

It was guilt.

The surgeon  and Charles exchanged glances and the surgeon gestured at his assistant, who quickly left through the door.

The guys stared at each other in disbelief, chattering between each other. Toki kept insisting on telling Skwisgaar the heroic details of when he carried him on his back for God knows how long. Pickles threw in random guesses of how their friend would look like now and Nathan listened attentively. Murderface didn’t participate, just stood there, thinking and feeling his palms get sweaty. Fuck. Fuck, was it true? Was it really true?

Less than a minute later, the assistant came back, his hand on the doorknob as if to keep it from opening preemptively. 

“Alright.” The surgeon looked at Dethklok. “Just remember, guys, he might be a little different. So be patient. Also-”

“Just shut up and let us see him!” Nathan demanded.

“Just do as they say.” Charles said, shaking his head with resignation.

The assistant opened the door and in came…

Dick Knubbler, looking pretty much the same as when they last saw him. Well, his legs appeared to be exclusively made of metal now, as well as his neck. His eyes had now been updated with some sort of futuristic-like visor. “Long time no see, babes!” He greeted them, and there was a metallic texture to his voice, too.

They all stared at him astounded for a good 10 seconds until…

“Holy shit!” Nathan went first. “It’s fucking real! You’re alive!”

“It takes more than a bomb to kill me, babe.” Knubbler smirked, striking a pose.

Murderface walked up to him, unable to contain himself. “Knubbler, I…I’m schorry.” He said with heaviness in his voice. “I did thisch to you…I’m schorry.”

Nathan frowned. “Murderface-”

“Oh, Willy!” Knubbler wrapped his arms around Murderface’s neck. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m better than ever, babe!” His face drew close to Murderface’s, smiling.

“Woah…” Nathan stepped back in surprise.

“Dood…”

“Dat’s…” Skwisgaar started.

“...Gays.” Toki finished.

“Oh, yeah!” Knubbler glanced at the others without letting go of Murderface. “I’m feeling totally gay, babes! While they were putting me together, I had a lot of time to think, you know? And I thought, life is pretty short to not be gay!”  His ‘eye’ winked at Murderface. “How about it, babe?”

Murderface’s cheeks turned red. “G-G-G-Get the fuck off me!” He said, trying to shove Knubbler. “I’m not gay!”

“Now, Willy,” Knubbler shook his finger. “We both know that is not true, don’t we?” He said, hugging Murderface by the waist.

“Huh…” Nathan, raised his eyebrows while the other three just watched agape.

“What the fuck are you talking about, man?” Murderface weakly tried to resist the affection, with a nervous chuckle. “He’sch totally out of hisch mind!” He whispered to his bandmates.

“Right.” Charles adjusted his tie, visibly uncomfortable. “Let’s give Murderface and Knubbler some, uh, some privacy.”

There were mumbles of agreement and the boys followed Charles to the door. 

“What?!” Murderface yelled, while the assistant took notes on Knubbler’s behavior. “Are you fucking kidding me?! Don’t leave me alone with thisch fucking lunatic!”

Nathan was in the doorframe when he turned his head. “You’re fucking gay, Murderface. Just get over it.” 

“Yeah.” Three voices said in unison.

“Oh, fuck you, guysch!” Murderface yelled when the door closed. “You’re the gay onesch!”

“Come on, Willy, just give me a kiss.” Knubbler insisted, puckering his lips. 

“God damn it!” Murderface moved his face, flustered. “Schtop being gay, Knubbler!”

“After you kiss me, babe.”

“No!”

#kloktober2023 #kloktober #metalocalypse #dethklok #william murderface #dick knubbler #dickface #army of the doomstar #no beta we die like men etc #my writing

[luvring]

idk if ur reqs are open but I would love to hear your thoughts on Vere 👁️👁️ hes literally dominated my entire headspace I can’t go ten minutes w/o thinking ab how I want to bite his forearm

GENERAL VERE HCS

gn!reader | back 2 knocking these guys out of the park. also i realized these are shorter than my hq bf hcs so. if anyone wants a pt.2 for anybody.. u know what to do

i think u Should bite his arm. For Fun. vere w bite-y partner who he bites back. 'gently' considering he has fangs though

congratulations on being one of 2 people he'd let touch and brush his tail. sometimes he swishes it against your face and then pretends he didn't. "i have no idea what you're talking about," he says before making direct eye contact and doing it again

he likes drawing. ok. have we considered him drawing you. you ask him about it and he says he won't show you. you tease him and ask "what? did you draw sparkles and hearts surrounding me?" and he plays along, "yes, i even checked what i'd look like with your last name and drew us kissing."

It's actually quite a nice sketch of you though. like of you smiling or asleep or something because you fell aslep near him. oh man...

vere knows all the ins and outs of the city which means he can give you a personalized tour that caters to all your interests!! you can ask him to take you to his favourite spots too of course but he feels very accomplished watching you grin in the store he purposely walked by

shocked if you get him a gift. acts nonchalant and is good enough at accepting things but internally, especially if it's something he's been eyeing for a while or has sentimental value,, he . He....

like yeah okay vere...act all cool...as if your eyes don't flicker over whenever you walk past it...as if you don't catch yourself smiling subconsciously...whatever

definitely tries cooking your favourite meal. doesn't go very well, especially if it's something he's never had, but he'll keep practicing until he makes something decent. don't ask how many attempts he did because he won't tell you unless he somehow started a fire and even Then the truth is debatable

if YOU know how to cook it Please for the love of god teach him, or write down the recipe for both your sakes. for the kitchen. plea

everyone tells him/the both of you to shut the hell up whenever you start flirting back and forth/competing to see how many innuendos you can feasibly say. the both of you team up only to bully everyone else for being single before continuing

asshole if you played uno. i'm not competitive nor do i give two shits if i lose at uno but even i would lose it watching vere push for whatever stacking rule he needs to get someone a +20. watch your cards or he'll manage to look over at them. do not trust a single deal he tries. watch his ears and tail i'm sure he has a tell

really good at helping build confidence . what ais said about him being honest but also not trusting anything he says yeah well this is when he'd be completely honest. easily reminds you how capable you are of something, knows what makes you confident, etc etc. and you just ? know you can trust him? it's the vibe. how he says it so plainly as if it's obvious

don't try to lie to him about things. like if you're upset about something it is So obvious to him no matter how hard you try and he'd really appreciate it if you would tell him why or ask to talk about it later when you're ready.

^ as someone who wants to piss her pants at the thought of being direct or whatever,, he'd also be very good at knowing when to push or not. if you respond better to a lighter/gentle reminder i'm sure he would do so :heart:

i have a feeling this guy would be incredibly incredibly incredibly into you asking to post him on any socmed. do you want his face in it. do you want it to be a little spicy. should he pose. actually he probably pouts a little if you want a faceless pose but bro why does it matter if there is not a cm of space between us. why is your hand around my neck rn /lh You know the poses

#touchstarved game #touchstarved vere #vere x reader #🧾nia.answers #<3 anon #he is so rime to me. aw man #nia + touchstarved

[r0b0t1me]

oh yes before i forget. who wants some rough drafts and scraps from The Comic

so! fun fact!! the prologue was originally only going to be 2 pages long. but then i looked at the composition of the first page and went Damn This Is Fucking Boring and also did NOT have the lead up that i wanted (it was very important to me that this entire fight felt earned since im showing the tail end of a years long conflict)

+the original writing for this second page too. interesting to see what survived. there was also going to be something at the top that went something like “mikey’s back. it doesn’t feel like it though/he hasnt said a word.” 

very early concept after leo slashes through the bus (which was the first page for this that i drew)

first draft of mikey winding up to punch leo. its funny how here he still has some confidence vs the final where hes fighting for his fucking life LMAO. anyway very weak pose here. this dialogue feels cheap to me now (they both know deep down mikey isnt really going to kill him. i dont need to tell you that. but just for a moment leo (and the reader!) feels that fear of the “what if”, thats the most important part)

oh page 3.. poor page 3. everything was going so well but i just had too many problems with this argument memory. it felt too much like The Breaking Point when it isnt at all (donnies death is the breaking point). it was meant to show their brotherhood degrading, but i changed it in the final to really emphasize the time

first draft of page 13.. middle panels were way too cramped

first draft of pages 15 + 16

bottom left panel was mikeys eye, iirc i wanted him to be shocked that leo was still going. why, though, i have no idea. of course he would be its leo. also showing mikeys face (specifically his eyes) was something i very deliberately Did Not Do up until the end. because of the tears hes holding back. its not all just blind rage fueling him. theres a hurt and a loneliness and a “i want my big brother back” wish in there too

i still actually like these poses but i think the overall composition came out better in the final page. though i like the flick of mikeys wrist and then BOOM immediate upper hand to show off how unevenly matched they are

i have to end this post off by bringing back a classic

#LONG POST #my art #i like showing off drafts i love tearing back the curtain #VIEW HOW MY COMICS COME TO LIFE BOY

[hayakawasb1tch]

Picture Perfect (Kishibe x Reader)

TW: Reader is referred to as a girl, smoking, low self confidence 

You stood nervously in front of your mirror. You had no idea how your friends convinced you to do this, you thought you looked utterly ridiculous. Somehow they managed to convince you to try out modeling, much to your dismay.

"With a face like that, you'd catch on quick!" Your best friend told you.

You never intended on trying it. But now that you were in desperate need of money, well, it couldn't hurt could it? Your hands trailed down your outfit. It was a simple A-line dress, the color a soft pink. You wore gold jewelry; a dainty bracelet, dangling earrings, and a basic necklace.

Your eyes flicked over your figure as you scrutinized yourself, until a knock brought you back to reality. You jolted up straight and briskly walked to your door, opening it to see the photographer you hired. He stood tall with a brown coat on, his expensive camera dangling around his neck. A large scar painted his face, and his blonde hair laid messy on the top of his head.

"Hello! Kishibe?" You spoke fast, jutting your hand out.

Kishibe blinked several times at you in disbelief. He had done shoots with many models before, however they were usually dead ends. Women who thought they were all that, but had actually been washed up for decades. They were all the same. But no, not you. Your youthful face lit up at his presence, your soft skin shining underneath your dress. He was mesmerized.

"Yes. You must be Y/N." Kishibe responded, taking your hand in his.

He shook it with a firm grip, until your hand dropped back down to your side.

"I guess let's uh, get started?" You said nervously, wringing your fingers.

Kishibe's eyes trailed down your body before looking up outside.

"Yeah. It's a nice day out, I noticed some flowers on my way here, I think you would look really good in front of them." His husky voice drew out.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the half compliment, and you nodded. Your door slammed behind you as you followed him out to a flower patch near your house. A plane of wildflowers. Every so often you would venture out to pick some of the flowers for your kitchen table or to place in your hair.

Kishibe was standing straight fiddling with his camera while your hands glided over the petals. His eyes flitted up and noticed your fascination.

"Grab one. It'll look good for the photos." Kishibe mumbled, lifting his camera up to his eye.

You grabbed a yellow flower and slid it in your ear, leaning back against a wooden gate.

Kishibe directed you in different poses. One was against the fence and another one standing straight with your arm outstretched, the flower held in your hand. The last ones were of you laying in the field, your hair framing your face. A goofy smile lit up your visage the more loosened up you became. Kishibe smiled slightly as he clicked his camera, his eyes lingering on your exposed thigh. He had never felt this way about a client before.

The two of you had been out for an hour, sweat beginning to grow on your brow from the pounding heat of the sun. Kishibe flicked through his camera looking at the photos as you tilted your head back, taking a sip from a water bottle.

Water escaped your lips, a thin line dripping down your chin onto your chest, making its way down. Kishibe averted his eyes and cleared his throat looking up at you.

"That should do it for today. Once these are edited I will send them to you." He advised, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

You nodded, slightly nervous but also excited.

"I can't wait!" You said, and you meant it.

~~~

It had been two weeks since your first shoot with Kishibe, and you were feeling much better. Nerves still coursed through your veins, but you weren't nervous about your looks anymore. The second you saw the edited photos Kishibe emailed you, you were hooked. You looked so beautiful, so ethereal in them. You chided Kishibe for putting heavy filters on them, but the truth was that he hardly edited them at all. In fact he only did minor touch ups, such as adjusting the lighting or colors. It was your own beauty, your own radiance shining through.

The next photo shoot you decided on would be much more intimate. You sat alone in your bed waiting for the photographer to ring your doorbell. You wore a thin pink nightgown, with minimal makeup on. A lollipop sat loosely in your mouth as you kicked your legs back and forth sitting on the bed. It was meant to be something akin to a slumber party shoot, if slumber parties could have only one participant. The ringing of your doorbell woke you up from your thoughts, jolting you to answer it. Kishibe was dressed in a black button down, with black pants.

"Hey!" You said nervously.

Kishibe's eyes dragged up and down your body, nodding once.

"My friend told me I should start wearing a little less if I'm comfortable. I don't know, this feels a little short." You murmured shuffling back and forth as he analyzed your clothes.

"Don't worry. I'll be here the whole time, it'll be okay. You look great." He responded finally, dragging his eyes up to yours.

You moved to the side and let him in, his shoulder briefly brushing against you. A shock of nerves ran through your body. Why did his touch make you feel that way? You suppose it had been a long time since you had touched a man.

You led Kishibe to your room, his eyes following your nightgown as it swayed along. Once you finally reached your room you turned around, Kishibe suddenly very close to you. Your eyes widened as you swallowed hard. You could feel salvia begin to pool around the lollipop in your mouth.

"Let me get rid of this." You mumbled, pulling the candy out.

"No- Keep it in. It fits with the theme." Kishibe responded, pulling the camera from around his neck.

You nodded slowly and wrapped your lips around the sucker, maintaining eye contact as you did so. You found it was very hard to look away. Kishibe backed away and tilted his chin up towards your bed. You nodded and slid yourself on the mattress, your hands propped behind you and your legs pointed towards the camera. Kishibe began taking shots, trying to keep his eyes from lingering on how smooth your legs looked. He could hardly take his gaze off your lips, how they were tinted red from the sugar and wrapped tightly around the lollipop. No matter how much he tried to avoid the thought, you were irresistible to him.

You flipped into different positions, each time you felt Kishibe's eyes lingering on you. It made heat rush to your cheeks, butterflies coursing through your stomach. Kishibe had you sitting on your legs, facing the camera. There was a bulge in your cheek from the candy, the stick languidly poking out of your mouth.

"Alright, let's try one without it." Kishibe spoke, his head in photographer mode.

Before you could respond, Kishibe's fingers pulled at the candy, sliding it out of your mouth. Your eyes widened in surprise as the lollipop slipped from your lips. Kishibe's eyes looked calculated as he held the candy stick between his fingers like a cigarette as he took a couple of pictures without the candy.

"Pout your lip out for me." He ordered, eyes focusing.

You poked your lip out slightly, shifting on your legs. They were beginning to fall asleep.

Kishibe's thumb reached out, tugging your bottom lip. Your sugar coated kiss threatened to stain his thumb pad as he pulled it down.

"Just like that, good girl." Kishibe murmured.

You felt like your heart was pounding in your ears. You swallowed hard and kept your lip in position as he snapped another picture. Wetness began growing between your thighs, heat pooling in your core. You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until Kishibe stepped away, looking down to flip through the shots he had taken. You sat down more, finally breathing.

"You're doing really good. Think you can handle a couple more?" Kishibe asked, his eyes flicking up to you.

You blinked several times and nodded. He instructed you to lay on your back, with your legs pointed toward the ceiling. One leg was relaxed and bent while the other was pointed. You were meant to pretend as if you were on the phone. Your thin pajamas slightly bunched up at your waist, showcasing your upper thighs. Kishibe circled around your body getting pictures from different angles. Only then did he notice the growing wet patch on your pure white underwear. He cocked an eyebrow and looked up at you. You seemingly didn't notice. Kishibe took a picture from that angle and circled back. 

"Perfect." He spoke quietly.

Heat pooled in your abdomen at the praise. Each second that passed with him you were growing more aware of the attraction you felt towards him. How silly was that? He was here just doing a job, and you couldn't stop thinking about what he might look like sitting on a couch, arms slinged back with hooded eyelids.

"I think we got enough shots. Like last time, I'll edit these and send them to you. Do you have any questions?" His voice rang, pulling you from your sinful thoughts.

You shook your head and stood up, running your hands down your thighs as if to wipe away the ideas.

"No, thank you Kishibe."

"Of course, it's a pleasure to work with you." He responded casually, reaching his hand out.

You grasped onto it and shook it, the firmness of his skin startling you. You watched as Kishibe excused himself from your front door, remnants of adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

~~~

More time had passed when you decided to do another shoot. It was only your third photo shoot with Kishibe, but you had already felt entirely comfortable. However, no matter how comfortable you felt, nothing would prepare you for this next shoot. Your friends had urged you to take more risqué photos, claiming that it would get you more attention. They weren't pressuring you, and you knew they were right. You didn't feel comfortable enough to do lingerie photos, let alone full nude, so you settled on the next best thing. Swim suit photos. The tight fabric dug into your hips, leaving little to the imagination. The style complemented your body shape, accentuating certain points. You had never been extremely confident, but you learned to love yourself more through Kishibe's lens. They portrayed you in a light you never saw yourself in prior. Someone beautiful, carefree, strong.

The sun beat down on you, sweat flickering your eyebrow. You wiped it away with a sigh, settling down on the chair in your friends backyard. She was gone for the weekend and offered you to use her pool for shoots. You loved the idea, but felt bad about using her house.

A floppy hat sat on your head, shielding you from the scorching sun. Sunglasses hung low on your nose, your gaze darting back and forth over the water. It was incredibly hot today, at least 90 degrees. Your skin tickled, nerves beginning to bubble in the pit of your stomach. This would be the most skin you showed during a photo shoot, you were worried it would be too risqué. Before your thoughts could get the better of you, you heard a knock at the side gate. Your head perked up, legs carrying you to the gate. You swung it open and saw Kishibe standing there, as stoic as ever. He was wearing his usual attire, a white dress shirt and black pants. It was a view you enjoyed a lot, you've decided.

Just as you were admiring him, he was admiring you. The way your hair looked, the sweat that sheened against your stomach. He wondered if this was how you looked when you got fucked.

"Welcome!" You said cheerfully, stepping to the side to invite him in.

Kishibe walked passed you and looked around at the pool. He had to admit, he was excited when you told him you wanted to do a bikini shoot.

He instructed you to lay on one of the chairs beside the pool, a large umbrella shading you from the bright sun. You sipped on a straw drinking lemonade as the camera clicked.

"How far were you wanting to go?" Kishibe asked as he flipped through the pictures.

"Um, I mean, I'm not sure. What were you thinking?" You responded nervously.

"We could do a topless picture. Just of your back, with sunscreen on it." He suggested, looking up to gauge your reaction.

Your face heat up. Was it because of the sun, or because of him? You pondered the idea, taking a deep breath. Before you could think about it any further, you nodded your head, agreeing to it.

Kishibe's lips quirked up at the end, nodding once. You stood up and tried to take off your top, but the knot wouldn't come undone. Kishibe raised his eyebrows watching you.

"I think- think it's tangled." You murmured.

Kishibe lowered his camera and turned you around, hand brushing against your back. It sent a jolt through you. You pulled your lip between your teeth. His fingers worked nimbly at untying the knot, working fast. Once it was untied, the strings fell to your sides, tickling your skin. You pulled it over your head and laid it on the chair. The air nipped at your exposed chest, the sensation welcoming. Kishibe cleared his throat and looked away. You covered your chest with your arm and turned to face him.

"Lay on the ground by the pool on your stomach." He ordered. His words almost got caught in his throat. All he could think was: Why? Seeing someone half naked wasn't new to him. He wondered why he having this reaction.

You nodded and slowly slid down by the pool. The warm concrete was a contrast between the chill that ran down your skin.

"We'll wanna do this fast so the ground doesn't burn you." He mumbled.

As you laid down on the scorching cement, you crossed your arms out in front of you, resting your head against them. Kishibe took a couple of photos of your back. After you heard a couple of clicks from the camera, you felt cool liquid splay across your back. Sunscreen. Kishibe's fingers rubbed across your back, spreading the white substance around. You let out a soft sigh, the noise startling Kishibe. He cleared his throat, trying to rid the sinful thoughts from his head. He stepped back and looked into the camera admiring the oily sheen that coated your back, and snapped a couple more shots. Once complete he helped you stand up, averting his eyes away from your chest, even though one of your arms was covering you in modesty.

"Aren't you hot wearing that?" You asked nonchalantly, looking over your shoulder at his outfit. He handed you your bikini top and helped tie it on you again, his fingers brushing your back.

"Yeah." He responded shortly.

You turned around once the top was on. Your eyes flicked up to his before looking back down at his chest. Something about him was making you feel more bold. You lifted your hands up and unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt, exposing the top of his chest.

"Does that feel better?" You asked, mostly innocently.

Kishibe blinked several times and stared at you. He couldn't decide what you were getting at. Did you want him as much as he wanted you? Was his old alcohol riddled brain playing tricks on him?

"Feels wonderful sweetheart, thank you." He responded.

You could feel your cheeks heating up, the confidence searing away faster than it had come on.

"Good." You mumbled.

Kishibe recognized he flustered you, a small smile painted on his face.

"Let me know when you want to shoot again." He said, looking you up and down before excusing himself.

Like always, he emailed you the photos after they were edited. You felt a surge of confidence rush through you as you scrolled through the photos. You had been collecting every picture for a portfolio, as you would be sending it out to modeling agencies soon. You were certainly glad Kishibe was still helping you. You paid him, but he didn't request much. The most expensive shoot was the first one you had together. You wondered why.

Your friends went crazy over the bikini shoots, pointing out the topless one. You tried to tell them you couldn't see anything and it was just your back, but they still loved it.

"Every photo shoot you've done so far has been innocent, why not do something a little more sexy?" Your best friend suggested with an evil grin.

You rolled your eyes but pressed for more details. It was then that you came up with the idea for a lingerie shoot. You decided you were finally ready. The only issue was location. You weren't sure where the best place to hold the photo shoot would be. You spoke to Kishibe over the phone about it, and he suggested meeting up at a parking lot and going from there.

You had put on your outfit. It was a black bralette, thong, and garter belt. You wrapped a trench coat on top of you for decency sake before driving to the designated parking lot. It was a multilevel parking lot on the outskirts of town. You had met with Kishibe dozens of times before, but for some reason meeting him like this sent anxiety coursing through you. It was the location and the outfit you were wearing, you decided.

Once arriving you drove to the top of the parking lot, staying in your car until you saw Kishibe's headlights shining through your windshield. You stepped out of your car and slammed the door behind you, leaning against the door. He pulled up across from you and turned his car off, sliding outside of his car.

"You look..." He started. "Lovely."

You blushed at the compliment and pushed off your car, walking up to him.

"Thank you. Where do you want to do the shoot?" You asked, clearing your throat.

Kishibe pondered, looking up. He truthfully didn't have a place in mind. Now that he thought about it, the lighting here would look nice.

"Why don't we do it here?" He suggested, meeting your eyes again.

Your eyes widened at the double entendre before looking around. There weren't any other cars around, and the lights that lined the parking lot would make for an interesting effect, you thought.

"Okay." You nodded, running a hand through your hair.

While Kishibe pulled out his equipment, you unbuttoned your trenchcoat. A brush of cool air ran up your body, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge. Kishibe's eye flitted up, looking at your body. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at the sight. You looked absolutely delectable. He cleared his throat and tilted his head toward his car. You understood the gesture and made your way to the vehicle. He helped you crawl on top of the hood of the car, laying down on it.

Flashes of light entered your periphery as he clicked the shutter. You ran you fingers down your body, leaving goosebumps in your fingers wake. Kishibe's gaze fell to your lower half, where he noticed your underwear. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It was taking all of his willpower to not take you then and there. Once finished with that position, Kishibe reached his hand out to help you step off from the car. You both decided to take a break, you checking your phone and him lighting a cigarette. The smoke wafted to your nostrils. Usually you hated the smell of people smoking, but for some reason you didn't mind it now. In fact, you liked it. The smoke smelled sweeter coming from him.

You put your phone in your trench coat pocket, leaning against the hood of the car. One of your knees was bent, propping you up. Your trench coat was open, but still on. Your lingerie peeked from behind the fabric, daring anyone to see what was underneath.

"That looks good." Kishibe mumbled, ashing his cigarette and walking up to you. Your eyes followed his movements carefully.

"Just need to fix this." He whispered, stopping in front of you.

You watched him as he put the cigarette in between his lips, smoke billowing from the side. He reached his hand up and slipped one of his fingers underneath your garter. His skin burned against yours, lighting a fire in your core. His eyes were trained on the garter, as you watched his face. His finger lingered before he pulled it back.

"Do you smoke?" He asked nonchalantly, looking up at you.

The proximity to his face sent a rush to your brain.

"Why?" You responded.

"Have an idea." He said back before taking a deep inhale of his cigarette. He blew the smoke out over your figure and stood back, taking a picture. The hazy fog coated your figure in the photo. If it were anyone else you would have been livid, but the moment felt so intimate.

"Open your mouth." He demanded softly.

Without a second thought you did as you were told. Your mouth hung open loosely, you were tempted to stick your tongue out as well.

Kishibe took the cigarette from his mouth and flipped it around, facing it at you. He slid the stick in between your lips where it lay lazily. The taste of tobacco coated your tongue immediately. Kishibe stood back and begun taking more photos of you as you perched yourself against his car, his cigarette between your plush lips. As minutes passed, the effects of the nicotine were going straight to your veins, making your head feel woozy.

Once finished, Kishibe walked up close to you.

"Do you want the rest sweetheart?" He coolly asked.

You shook your head slightly, mesmerized by him. His thumb and pointer finger plucked the cigarette from your mouth. There was a bright red stain from your lipstick on it, but he didn't mind. He maintained eye contact with you as he flipped the stick around and slotted it between his lips. The sight made your knees want to crumble. Did he know what he was doing to you?

"I think these are going to turn out great." He mumbled to himself as he stepped back flipping through the photos on his camera. He would be lying if he said this wasn't his favorite shoot. He wondered if you would mind if he kept some of them for his personal collection.

"Thank you Kishibe, for all that you do." You spoke, pushing yourself off his car. And you meant it. You wouldn't be where you were now if not for him.

"It's nothing. You're a pleasure to work with." He responded, trying to keep his gaze from dropping to your chest.

"Still. Thank you." You repeated. You stood on your tiptoes and placed your lips on his scratchy cheek. You pulled away as soon as you kissed him, and without another word made your way to your car. The scent of your perfume clung to him more than the tobacco did.

On the drive home you couldn't stop thinking about Kishibe. Why did you want him this bad? Did he want you the same? You knew he wouldn't make the first move out of respect for you, but would he stop you if you made the first move? There was only one way to tell.

~~~

Over the past week you begun concocting a plan to get Kishibe. You had never been so brazen before when it came to partners, so you didn't know what was stirring the sudden boost of confidence. Maybe it was the fact he was driving you that crazy. The closer the day came to your plan, the more nerves bubbled in your stomach. What if he was going to reject you? The idea terrified you, but not knowing scared you more.

You bought a new set of lingerie for the occasion, a beautiful delicate red piece that hugged you in all the right areas. You applied a thin layer of makeup before throwing on a silk black robe to conceal yourself. You flipped through your email to find Kishibe's information. He had sent you his phone number along with his address in case you ever needed it. And as it turns out, you did.

Anxiety coursed through your body as you strutted up to his front door. Before you could back out, you raised your hand and knocked on it heavily. 

Kishibe was sitting on his couch, flipping through work emails when he heard you. He raised an eyebrow at the sound. He wasn't expecting anyone, was he? He stood up and made his way to the door, and peeked through the peephole. And there you were, standing right outside his door, looking like a lost lamb.

He opened the door. His eyes scanning up your figure.

"Y/N? What brings you here?" He asked, his voice gravely.

"Kishibe! We had a shoot today, you didn't remember?" You responded, feet shuffling beneath you.

Kishibe knew this wasn't true. He was meticulous about his schedule, planning and writing everything down. But he decided to play along.

"Is that so?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.

You nodded and looked away, becoming bashful.

"Yeah, but if now's not a good time then we can reschedule."

"Don't be silly, come on in."

With a small grin, Kishibe stepped to the side, allowing you access to his apartment. It was small, but cozy. As you passed by, he got another whiff of that damned perfume.

"It's nice." You commented, looking around.

Kishibe grunted in response, shutting the door behind you. He excused himself to his bedroom to retrieve his camera. While he was gone, you shed your robe. It slowly fell down your body, crumbling up on the ground underneath you. Kishibe rounded the corner, immediately stopping when he saw you. The mere sight of you in clothes like that in his apartment sent a rush of pleasure to his cock.

"Incredible as always." He commented, walking up closer to you.

"Why don't we start on the ground?" He purposed.

Your cold fingers dragged along your stomach, feeling up your body. You laid on your back, hands gliding up your torso. You were arched, jutting out your goods for the camera. You had done shoots with Kishibe, but none like this. None had been so sensual.

"Just like that. Good girl." Kishibe's voice whispered, the huskiness never faltering.

You switched positions several times. Now, you rested on your hands and knees, Kishibe crouching down to click photos. You had been modeling for long enough to know you were meant to look in the lens of the camera. But your eyes were locked on his. His eyes flicked between yours and the camera in between each photo.

Kishibe lowered his camera and walked up closer to you. Your hands and knees ached from the position. He tilted your head up with his forefinger, analyzing your face. He licked his lips, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. Kishibe thumbed your bottom lip, parting it ever so slightly. If anyone had come across the two of you in this position, they might think you were on your hands and knees, just for him.

"That's it. Just like that." He murmured, stepping away to snap a photo of you.

Your core was set ablaze at his praise. You wanted more. You needed more.

"Kishibe." You breathed out.

He wet his lips with his tongue and looked past the camera at you.

"I..." You trailed off.

"I want you." You spoke the words that you had been thinking since you first met.

A smile spread on Kishibe's face at your boldness.

"Yeah?" He asked.

You nodded, looking up at him patiently.

He curled a finger towards you, beckoning you to him. He set his camera on the table beside him. You maintained eye contact as you crawled on your hands and knees towards him. Your heart pounding in your ears as you reached up for his belt. He made no move to stop you, opting to only watch. You licked your lips and began unbuttoning his pants, seeing the semi hard form beneath it. Your mouth was beginning to water, you needed him so bad. Kishibe hummed at you, eyes trailing to your behind. You shifted onto just your knees, pulling his cock out from his underwear. It was longer and thicker than you had been expecting, the sight making your bottom lip quiver. Your eyes looked up to him as you rubbed your hand down on his cock, your lips hovering over the tip. Kishibe exhaled softly before you enveloped his length in your mouth. The taste of him went straight to your pussy.

Your knees ached as they pressed against the cold hardwood floor of his living room. The back of Kishibe's hand caressed your cheek, warmth flowing through you.

"You look so beautiful like this." Kishibe spoke.

In the past you would've done anything to fight off the compliment. But this man showed you how to appreciate your body, to know your worth. Your eyes stayed on his as you gripped his cock, your lips wrapping around the thick pink tip.

"It'd be a shame if we didn't capture this moment. Don't you think?" He asked, turning around to reach for his camera on the coffee table.

You couldn't answer as your mouth was full, full of him. Your head lowered down further, taking in more of his cock. Your eyes closed in bliss and you heard his camera shutter, indicating a picture had been taken.

"Perfect. You wanna be famous don't you? Open your eyes for me Angel." Kishibe commanded softly.

Your eyelids fluttered open, staring into the lens. You heard the camera shutter as he flicked a photo of you, his eyes remaining locked with yours as if he knew the picture was perfect, so confident that it would be everything he wanted.

His cock reached the back of your throat, eliciting a gag from you. Kishibe set his camera down on the side table and watched as tears welled up in your eyes. You could hardly breathe, but that didn't matter. Not when you could taste his precum sliding down your throat. Spit dribbled out the sides of your mouth, collecting to slide down your neck in between your chest.

Kishibe groaned in pleasure. The feeling of your plush lips wrapped around him was better than he dreamed of. Each time you had photo shoots he pictured you on your knees for him like this.

"Fuck..." he whispered, gliding his hand through his hair.

You bobbed your head up and down on his cock, making obscene noises each time. You could feel your eyes roll to the back of your head at how sweet he tasted. Your hands held onto his muscular thighs tightly for support. Your tongue ran under the bottom of his shaft, one of your hands cupping his balls. Before you could get too overzealous, Kishibe pulled your head back. A string of spit and precum connected your puckered lips to his cock, the sight entirely too filthy.

"Calm down." He softly ordered.

You breathed heavily and nodded, running your tongue on the bottom of your lip, savoring each drop of salty precum.

Kishibe ran his rugged thumb over your cheek, appreciating the way your youthful skin smoothed under his finger. Kishibe nudged his head up, gesturing to the couch. You instantly understood and made your way over, head delirious with sex. You sat down carefully on the cushions, spreading your legs for him. Kishibe folded his long sleeves up, kneeling on the ground.

You were taken aback when he pushed your legs apart even further, hooking them up on his shoulders. Your eyes widened as his face dove in, tongue immediately searching for your core. A loud moan escaped your throat, your back arching off the back of the couch. You hadn't expected anything from him, you weren't used to men going down on you. You wondered if his age brought him experience.

You felt his tongue flick up and down over your lingerie, the thin fabric concealing hardly anything. You could feel most of it, but you craved to feel him directly on you. Whines rumbled from your chest, your hips gyrating from side to side.

"Show me how you touch yourself princess." Kishibe mumbled against your lingerie.

He pulled the fabric to the side, exposing your mound to him. It glistened in the low light of his apartment, the scent making his mouth water. Kishibe couldn't decide if he liked the smell of your perfume more, or your natural musk. Your cheeks flushed at the comment, unable to speak. Kishibe pulled your hand up and guided it to your core, resting your fingers on your swollen and needy clit. His job was always guiding you into pretty positions, and tonight was no different. 

Your fingers slowly started rubbing your nub, the sensation going straight to your head. Kishibe looked up at you and licked a strip around your pussy, before diving it in your clenching hole. A strangled moan came out of you, your eyes losing focus. It felt like your senses were heightened, each time his tongue penetrated you, you could practically see stars. Your moans increased in volume, as your sin coated Kishibe's tongue. 

You were beginning to get frustrated as time wore on, feeling the desperate need to let go and cum but not being able to. Kishibe picked up on your hints and pulled your fingers away from your clit. He looked up at you as he sucked them clean. You felt like you could cum from the sight alone. Kishibe maintained eye contact as his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking slowly while two of his fingers stretched out your pussy. You moaned loud, fingers flying up to his hair. He chuckled and continued to lick your clit, feeling you get closer. You felt his fingers curl inside of you, coaxing your sweet spot. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came hard, seeing stars. While breathing heavily you felt the couch depress underneath something. Your eyes fluttered back to reality, seeing the older man above you. He tilted your head up and pressed his lips against yours, swiping his tongue against your lip.

"You should know how sweet you taste." He murmured, pulling apart from the kiss.

Your body felt weak as he propped you up on your hands and knees on the couch. You felt one of his feet crouch on the couch while the other stayed planted on the floor. His calloused fingers ran across your backside, making your skin shiver.

"Tell me if you need to stop." He spoke quietly, before spreading your cheeks.

You nodded slightly, already dazed out from cumming once. You felt his hard cock rub against your slit, lining up with your aching hole. Kishibe inched his way in your hole, plunging deep in you. His cock felt massive inside you, you weren't sure how much you could take. A whimper escaped your mouth as you felt him fill you up. Kishibe breathed out hard before his mouth formed to a straight line, focusing on pounding into you. His rough hands grabbed and pulled at your hips, sure to leave bruises for you in the morning. Groans left your lips as he dragged his length in you. He wasn't going fast, but he was going hard. Each time it felt like the wind was being knocked out of you in the most pleasurable way possible. You could feel your body jiggle with each movement. Your mouth dropped open slightly, but you were too fucked out to care. Kishibe gripped your hip with one hand while the other ran up to your shoulder, taking hold of you there.

"F-feels so good Kishibe, d-don't stop!" You moaned, your face contorting in pleasure.

Kishibe could feel you clench around him. It had been so long since he had someone your age, someone so eager to please.

You could hear his tiny groans behind you, the noise only riling you up more.

"Wanna see how pretty you look?" Kishibe grunted.

"Hm?" You voiced, dazed.

The arm holding your shoulder reached up and grabbed you by the hair. Not too roughly that it hurt, but enough to angle your to face the side.

A mirror. You hadn't noticed that when you first walked in. In it you could see Kishibe fucking you hard, your body thrusting forward with each thrust. Your eyebrows furrowed up as your core tightened more. You had never thought seeing yourself get railed would turn you on this much, but it did. Leave it to Kishibe to make you enjoy something like that.

"Yeah? Like how you look? Come on, tell me how pretty you are." Kishibe grunted.

Your arms trembled as you struggled to keep yourself up. You didn't know how much longer you would last. Not with the way he was filling you up, and the way he was talking.

"S-so pretty. I'm so pretty." You moaned, your body shaking.

"Yeah you are." Kishibe murmured, pounding into you.

He held your head by your hair while thrusting into you. You didn't even have time to warn him before you felt yourself come undone on his cock. A loud cry racked your body as you trembled.

"Fuck..." Kishibe mumbled to himself.

He decided he could die a happy man tomorrow. Nothing could be as sweet as you. Kishibe kept fucking you as you were coming down.

"Come here princess." He spoke, pulling out of you.

You felt him move your body till you were kneeling on the ground. It was all going by in a blur, your body still so sensitive.

Kishibe jerked his cock over your face while you looked up at him. He let out a loud groan as cum shot from his cock into your face, painting it white. You stuck your tongue out to try to get as much of it as you could in your mouth.

He moaned as he finished, his body shaking. With a sigh he reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his camera, lifting it up to his eye. Out of all the photos he took of you, he decided this was his favorite.

#chainsaw man #kishibe x reader #my writing

[letitrain-letitsnow-letitgo]

xoxo, toffee 

pov: you’re dolores madrigal and you’ve been emailing someone for a while, and you really like him, but you also really vibe with your long-time gaming buddy and you have a little routine with him every morning 

a dolores madrigal playlist, with a juno focus

@haveyoumet-dolores @moon-yeongjun

[listen here]

Tracklist! This one has a bit of a chronological order to it

The Way I Am - Ingrid Michealson

If you are chilly, here take my sweater. If your head is aching, I'll make it better. 'Cause I love the way you call me "baby". And you take me the way I am.

I knew this song would immediately be on my Lo playlist, because it’s all about trying to find someone who will take you the way you are, with all your little weird quirks! 

Pleasant Memory (Penny)

I know Jun’s Stardew Valley dream girl is Abigail, but Lo has a lot of Penny vibes (quiet, teacher, etc). And this gentle song fits her!

Would You Be So Kind? — Dodie

Oh, would you be so kind As to fall in love with me? You see, I'm trying I know you know that I like you But that's not enough So if you will Please fall in love

This just feels very Lo, especially when she was single and looking for someone to fall in love with!!

Anyone At All - Carole King

You could have been anyone at all An old friend falling out of the blue I'm so glad it was you

This is the song from You’ve Got Mail that I blasted all throughout that event, and I think that revelation that your secret email buddy is ALSO your good friend and then that comforting feeling you feel right after, where of course, it was them and everything just makes sense….. Effervescent. 

Top of the World - The Carpenters

There is only one wish on my mind When this day is through I hope that I will find That tomorrow will be, just the same for you and me All I need will be mine if you are here

I love this song so much, I think it’s just very emblematic of finding someone you click with! It doesn’t necessarily have to be a lover, because it’s just about someone who you love to spend time with and who you’re so connected with, and I just think it’s perfect for Juno since we’ve been seeing them connect for MONTHS. 

All About Us — Owl City, He is We

And every heart in the room will melt This is a feeling I've never felt but It's all about us

The “feeling I’ve never felt” got me here. It makes sense for both of them! I just think it's very sweet.

All About Your Heart — Mindy Gledhill

You are brighter than the stars Believe me when I say It's not about your scars It's all about your heart

This is one where most of the lyrics don’t fit exactly but the line “it’s all about your heart” just felt SO Dolores to me. When I was working on this, I just kept hearing "It's all about your heart" and I knew I needed to add it

Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches

You're a part-time lover and a full time friend The monkey on your back is the latest trend I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else But you

This is the ultimate friends-to-lovers little song I think it’s so cute! AND bonus point that I did not realize till I am writing this description………… it is FROM the movie Juno

Lucky - Jason Mraz, Colbie Calliat 

They don't know how long it takes Waiting for a love like this Every time we say goodbye I wish we had one more kiss I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will

Listen. So many of these songs could be on my own 2010 romantic playlist. Very Twee. Very Dolores IMO. The other ultimate friends to lovers song. Yes, it’s a Glee duet, but for a GOOD REASON this song is so sweet okay. 

1, 2, 3, 4 - The Plain White T’s

It's easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4 There's only ONE thing (one) TWO do (two) THREE words (three) FOUR you... (four) (I love you) I love you

Another song from a playlist I definitely had in 2010!!!!!!!!! Bet you didn’t think you’d see the Plain White Ts ini the year 2024, but here we are. I once drew fanart of this song with some OCs. It was a cute pose so maybe one day I’ll draw Juno with it. 

#swyntask #Spotify

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 30 - Now and Zen

Ophelia signs her Tartosa friends up for a 6 AM yoga class at a spa in a neighboring town and, because they're the best friends on earth, they agree to go. They've got the Pizzazz wedding gig coming up, so they need to be in the zone!

Ophelia has a little more experience than her friends.

Drew is a pretty confident person, but they're not confident they won't fall flat on their face during some of these moves.

Instructor: Just follow at your own pace.

Moses: If I was at my own pace, I'd still be in bed.

Being ambitious, Ophelia sometimes struggles when she's not automatically the best at something.

Ophelia: Must… be zen… even if… it kills me.

Moses: muttering Or us. Ow!

They're all really good at child's pose, at least.

Despite not being the best at it yet, they do have to admit that they enjoyed themselves. Maybe Ophelia was right, this wellness stuff could do them all some good.

Ophelia: Oh, what now? Face mask or workout?

Drew: Uh, wasn't the whole point of this to relax?

Ophelia: Self-improvement IS relaxing!

Ophelia is efficient and decides to go with a face mask AND a workout.

Ophelia: You're a strong, confident woman. You have great friends here and in Willow Creek. The awkwardness with Libby will pass someday. Right now, focus on being the best you! You're gonna kick life's ass!

Xander: What up, Casper? Drew: Haha. I need a mask, and a drink, to make me forget how tired I am. Ophelia's self improvement kick is great and all, but that yoga class kind of kicked my ass. Moses: Don't act like you also didn't click yes to that Wellness liking popup

Xander: Should we be concerned? Seems like she's hardly let herself have a free moment since the break up.

Drew: I think Ophelia's just like that, dude.

Moses: You know how ambitious Sims are, mate. Keeping busy is how they cope.

Xander: I guess you're right.

Xander can't help but interrupt her boxing.

Xander: Come on, Lemon Cake. Time to take five. Don't want to wear yourself out for tomorrow. Ophelia: I don't want to. Xander: What if I said please real cute like with this face? Ophelia: I'd say no, real ugly like with this face.

Xander: I might have to start calling you Sour Lemon with that mean mug.

That gets Ophelia to cut the act and let out a laugh.

Xander: I knew you couldn't resist! No one can resist this face!

Ophelia: Shut up! Fine, I'll take a break, you dork. Let's check out the pool.

Before they can swim…

Xander: Listen, you're doing okay, right?

Ophelia: Why wouldn't I be?

Xander: You've got the garden you told us about and all this wellness stuff you're getting into. That's great and all, I just want to make sure you're not using it as a distraction.

Ophelia: Distraction? Xander: I know some Sims throw themselves into new projects to distract themselves when life gets rough. I know that because I'm one of those Sims. If you need someone to talk to, we're here for you if it's too weird to talk to your other friends about.

Ophelia: I appreciate it Xander, but I'm really just trying to better myself. Two of my friends had a baby recently, and it really put things into perspective. There's so much I want to do before, and after, I have kids, so I'm trying to become the future mom my kids deserve

Xander: If my parents and Hilary had your wellness knowledge, they would have probably had an easier time dealing with me as a kid.

Ophelia: Ha!

Xander: For what it's worth, I think you'd be a great mom now, but you've got plenty of time to get even better.

Ophelia: Thanks.

Ophelia: One thing about me, when I get knocked down I don't stay down for long.

Xander: That makes one of us. When things ended with my last partner-

Ophelia: Oooh, I'm getting some exclusive Xander Lore?

Xander: Not anymore, Lady Interrupts-A-Lot.

Xander may be a goofball, but he's clearly a good guy, as well. Ophelia's glad she has someone like him in her corner.

I didn't manage to get screenshots of it but she stole two things during the time she was at this spa. Look at her smug face. You can't keep getting away with this forever, young lady!

#The Sims #The Sims 4 #The Sims 4 Legacy #The Lemon Legacy #TS4 #The Sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 #generation 1 #ophelia #xander #drew #moses

[a-flux-uchiha]

Spent a month staring despairingly at these poses, and then spent like a week with my sister @whatevenisavalidname (who is far more experienced in art stuff) fixing them and actually finishing the art pieces. Ah the joys of art.

Details under a readmore so this doesn’t get out of hand.

Number 1

I actually finished this one last lol. It had remarkably few issues and I only needed a bit of help working out how the spider went. And making sure it looked right. It’s the only one where she’s on something instead of being in the air, fun. This one she has visible claws, so that’s fun. I started drawing the claws in at a later date so only a few of these have claws. We can say the ones that don’t have it were from before The Incident.

Number 2

This was the first one that got claws actually. Not too many comments on it other then it looks neat and the webbing was a pain. and the hands. Especially that back one. It turned out nice though, so I'm glad. So many pretty stars in the background. Very nice.

Number 3

I drew this one without assistance, it was the only one done before I got my sibling to help me, and I vaguely regret that. The arm should be a bit shorter to bring the hand in line with the legs and the upper calf is too short and needed to be lengthened, but its fine, its fine. Hands don't look that awful, and neither do the feet, and y'know it looks neat, so we're good, its fine.

Number 4

Finished this one second last, so it also has visible claws, good for her. Caught mid swinging, has visible bottom of the feet. I was somewhat tempted to make the bottoms pink and then decided against it. Only pose where we see her left hip, so we can see the origin point of the leg webs. Yeah no hand or feet comments, they went fine.

Number 5

I specifically moved the arm so that the hand was hidden behind the leg and frankly, no regrets. Yeah no big comments on this, it looks neat. Also has visible claws. On the one hand you can see anyway. I do like the silver and orange cast of additions added to this one, and the second one, the orange from the city lights below, the silver from the moon. Looks neat. Gives a very nice ambiance.

Number 6

This had a different pose in the initial sketch, its one of two that did, but I gave up on that sketch and ended up with this pose instead. The general idea of the pose didn't change too much, but this one looks much better. This one also has visible claws, and yes my sister assisted a heck tonne with the hands. Blame her for the functional hands. I can draw two hand poses and its straight out and flat and then set on a hip. Fists are not on that list, but I did a grand total of 3 fists in this picture set and its all her fault. The circle around her was an orange one and then I turned down the opacity and now it looks like that, and I like it. I think it looks really cool. Plus the rainbow background of course. And all the little tiny buildings.

Number 7

This one didn't change much, didn't need much help either. I have no excuse for the back hand, but I do appreciate the feet. We see the return to no claws this time, poor dear. Looks pretty cool though. I like this background too.

Number 8

Final one! Glad you made it this far. Mai looks particularly buff in this one because my sister so thoughtfully re-did the sketch for me, and she's very good at buff people(Go check her out cowards). It's okay Mai deserves to be buff. Like number 6 the general idea of the pose is the same, it just looks better now. Ignore how the inner left leg on this one and on the 7th contradict each other in design. It's fine, ignore it. I forgot this one also had fists, so that makes 5 fists in all of these, very impressive for me, who doesn't usually draw hands in any position other than on a hip or flat out. This was a slight issue since I hadn't designed her back, but I think what turned out looks fine, so we're safe. Yeah I like this one, we vibin, we good.

Overall:

Worth the time, they all look cool and I hope I got somewhat better at drawing. I've never really drawn action-y poses like this before, so it was good practice. Especially the couple where the torso wasn't as visible. Good practice, good outcome, excellent.

#nametsu mai #spiderwoman!mai #hfyt #spidersona #kinda #tldr of the read more: I like them #if I can find more good poses I might do this again #maybe #big maybe #This is definitely the most I've ever drawn for a single character/au. Would do it again #flux-art

[noxiatoxia]

Ummm first of all can I just say how much I fucking love your blog??? Ur brand of ouran themed bullshittery is ✨✨ immaculate ✨✨ and it's harboring empty space in my brain like a stolen jewel stg. also it is so fucking cool to see a fellow hikakao shipper out there in their morning glory like I just fucking shdudjdenkskaanhsuehdbn.. i've recently gotten back into my old ouran obsession and looking around the hikakao portion of the fandom all I see are a couple of tumbleweeds out of my peripheral rolling across a long since vacated dirt road like what the fuck its so hard to find people as in love with these characters as I am and I NEED to talk to any person ever about it or I will go insane. I just??? Have so many thoughts and feelings??? And I have a shit ton of aus and theories and monologues if you're interested :)

sidenote, but I also wanted to say that I LOVE your art style!! I love how simplistic but recognizable it is? It's hard to explain but it's just so visually appealing because it's detailed in all the right ways like seriously it's great :)) I need art tips so bad rn and ur stuff is straight BITCHIN like you can anatomy?? Hoowwww?? :'''))))

Anyway ur blog is basically the musical doodle ear worm to me except instead all I can hear is the shissou beginning guitar riff

THIS IS SO FUCKING NICE....THANK YOU!!!!!!

It's actually really interesting how many people have come to me about this, about being one of the Only active ouran posters esp hikakao. and like. im honored. hikakao is like the grandfather of twincest and i am so honored to carry the torch forward. yes i am 2 decades late to the party but hey i am with every fandom. and i like it that way tbh, i like being in a small fandom and just making connections with other people who share the same intense passion as i do with a goofy series. so ur message means a lot!!

ALSO YES I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR HIKAKAO THOUGHTS OR GENERAL OURAN THOUGHTS THEY OCCUPY MY BRAIN 24/7 PLEASE......PLEEEEASE.....

LIKE. there are SO little hikakao content and tbh theres barely ouran content IN GENERAL and when there is its tamaharu which FAIR I UNDERSTAND WHY i love those funky dudes but....gimmie our roots. i wanna see hikakao and hanimori. TAMAHIKAKAO??? everyone sleeps on that ship. i know most people wont do the two former bc #incest and its not 2007 deviantart anymore but i will not back down. i am in the yaoi war fighting on the side of unhealthy codependency.

also i'm siper thrilled you like my art!!! that's very flattering you find my art style recognizable! anatomy is hard that is for fuckin sure and tbh ive been drawing my whole life, so a lot of it just comes with time. i can give you some tips if you'd like, but really, everyone is different. every artist learns differently, draws differently, and there's no one correct way to draw a picture.

something that really helped me get better at art is to make an "art inspo" folder on your phone, laptop, or a discord channel in a priv server. when you come accross art you really like or find useful to study, save it. maybe you like the style, or how the colors blend, or how an expression was drawn. maybe the artist drew a really good arm or a difficult pose. save the art and study it and learn from it. this helps me immensely personally as i am a very visual person. i learn best by doing, second best by seeing stuff visually laid out in front of me. im sure youll nail it one day!!!!

#you are so real for this... #;noxiatalks2ya

[cheerstotheelites-if]

Super excited for all your wips! 👀👀

How do you render your drawings they look so cool!

*SWEATS* Mamser, I literally have no idea what I even do while I make art—

My rendering isn't that grand nor complex (and I don't think there is any rendering. They're mostly all just flats with barely any shading or lightning with this cartoony-anime mixed style), compared to other authors who also draw their character portraits for their IF's.

It's simple and workable, like my artstyle, and I don't think it'll get more complicated than that! If it works for me, then it works.

I don't have any big brain wisdom I can impart on you or for any other budding artists, because I'm no professional and is merely self taught, but I may have some personal ones:

Steal like an artist. Find something in someone else's artstyle that you really like and adapt that to your own! Artstyles are a personal mishmash of the artists you look up to, and not all are the same even if you and someone else may have the same artistic idols. This is different from tracing, however. I DO NOT encourage tracing over someone else's work and claiming it as your own. That is stealing, you utter criminal, and I will dropkick you if you do that.

Practice. Old wisdom, but it works and it's true. You don't become Bob Ross or Leonardo Da Vinci in a day after all. It's a struggle and it'll be frustrating, but I promise once you learn to draw the thing you finally want to draw, the high from reaching that achievement is absolutely real and so, so worth it.

References. If you think you can draw a sitting position freestyle from your brain, you're wrong, because when you look at a reference of that then at your sketch, you're gonna see a lot of mistakes in the anatomy, poses, perspective etc,. So, please, stockpile your references for every possible thing that you'll be drawing, because you'll absolutely need them.

Have fun. As artists we tend to compare our work to those who we think are better in the craft, when in reality we all are just trying to get better in what we do. Look, it doesn't matter if a 3 year old can recreate Mona Lisa in perfect detail, if you enjoy doing your work then that's already enough. I prefer to see "better" artists as inspirations to try and achieve more, not as some unachievable pedestal. You can achieve that too! May not be as quick as the rest, but you will get there in your own pace. Art is a journey, not a race. Take your time, learn what you want to learn, and have fun!

Experiment. You gotta if you wanna find out what stuff sticks with you and what doesn't. It also helps you find out a technique you might like for sketching, lineart, coloring etc., or if you just wanna get the hang of something first! OR if you wanna try out a new artstyle! Art is a science, in a way. A wonderful alchemy of color, wrist pains, and shrimp posture!

Also thank you for showing excitement for my WIPs, anon! I'm trying me best to work on all of them. You get a mwah from me. 😭💙💙💙

Free art from L? How scandalous! This is also just an excuse for me to ramble about my other characters amongst my 200+ bucket of them.

Some of these are old, but I just wanna share 'em for the funsies.

And, yes, the light blue haired, dark blue eyed lady in black and glasses and guy in a green parka with a resting bitch face are Carmen and Everest, Ophelia's older siblings. I also have Weylyn's older siblings, Bleddyn and Riekka, but I plan on reworking their design first. Why do I have so many redesign plans for so many characters.

1. Random character I drew for Religions Class last semester. I loved her design, so I kept her. No name yet, sadly 😭

2. Rival Agent Team in The Company. No names yet, though purple haired gal is named Agent Carrion. All of the designs and colors were from picrews, I just changed whatever was needed to suit my own preferences.

3. Lucian and Louise Dagohoy doing a clothes swap (2020). They're siblings I love dearly. They'll show up in an IF soon. I have big plans for them.

4. Carmen and Everest. Had this for months now, and I had no idea when to show it. Might refine their design a bit when I have the time.

5. Mint. Yes, her name is Mint. Not a Familiar, but a different kind of Fae entirely. Did this on my phone in 2019(?). I was bored at the time, and wanted to do a simple doodle, so I drew Mint about to eat a carrot.

6. - 7. MSPaint doodles from 2021, during a boring class if I remember. First one's Quentin the Monarch Fae king because it's been a while since I drew that man, then Louise. She's usually drawn happy all the time, but I wanted to make her sad, so I did. Not that hard to draw on MSPaint, really. Great for lineless practice because there are no layers.

8. - 10. Raphael, Gabriel and Michael Zealon. A pair of twins and an older brother. They have the old designs of High Court Angels (this was 2021), and their conversation was based on a tweet I saw on Twitter. Don't ask why. I'm too sleep deprived to answer.

And if you're wondering what art program I use, I either use MSPaint (when I'm bored) or FireAlpaca (for most of my works). The drawing tablet I use is a Huion H430p. It's smaller compared to the normal drawing tablet (H640p) of Huion, and it's as big as a standard notebook.

I would add 20 more art if I were on my laptop right now (and also because most of my art is stored there), but that'll be all for now.

#author ask #curious anon #L

[obscuremechala]

testing testing 123

i just got here so i wanna test things out, probably won't keep this post in the long run but maybe i'll forget this is up or something idk

this is my profile pic, i drew it myself real quick and i don't feel like elaborating why. the url is a tad different bc i was thinking of sharing it on instagram (i didn't tho) and tumblr doesn't allow underscores apparently

but i digress

i don't have much to talk about but that's 'cause i don't have a prompt or anything this was just meant to be a test

one day i'll ramble about my story stuff bc there's a lot going on there but there's still a lot i need to figure out

hmm maybe ill do an intro or something

but probably not here i don't think it'll fit

ill test things in the meanwhile

italics? oooh yes

bold

[redacted] (huh would that be unredacted or what is this a paradox)

awelkhfas ooh different fonts too

point 1

point 2

there are no points

what am i doing

idk man

i just got here and want to learn and maybe interact

i tend to just lurk on socials but i am capable of interaction

i just usually don't

friends are nice, i wish i could interact with mine more

testing testing one two three

bigger

biggest

moths are cute, i like moths

one of my fantasy races/species are inspired by moths but that's for another time

i don't expect anyone to actually read this

tho i do expect it'll take me some time to get used to things here

ive seen a lot of posts on pinterest while looking for writing advice and character design inspo, tho now my feed is 1/3 transformers, 1/3 pokemon, and 1/3 misc. tumblr posts

i also like robots and transformers

what if moth robot

hmm lemme think

i could def make it work in my universe, i shall ponder

anyway more tests

ooo smol

wonder what this does

color text nice

this song is great i found it a few days ago and have listened to it several times on loop

however i don't have spotify i just have youtube music

sad that they deleted google play music, at least i could listen to music outside of the app and with my screen off without paying money

i haven't actually played undertale, i watched a neutral run playthrough and have played deltarune, if i get the game id probably do a pacifist run

undertale music is good tho

h

there is no 2

what did that do

i don't really get it

maybe it'll do something when i publish this

ooo i should post some art

i don't have a lot tho

maybe i should redraw my old art bc i looked at some last night and yikes

apparently i only recently discovered decent anatomy/proportions and that was via mostly guesture poses

i have recently been shown the way of shapes and im watching a lot of character design and redesign stuff along with my hermitcraft

i never really got into miraculous ladybug but for some reason watching people tear into it and redesign the characters tends to pull me in like a moth to a light

it's funny bc i have no investment in what people are complaining about but im interested in how they make things better/different

also taking notes on what not to do so

i wish i could draw my characters, a good chunk are robots and hard to design, 90% of the rest of them are homemade fantasy races/species i have to actually conceptualize, and then the humans are kinda just there

bc i do have humans there just arent a ton bc i must make everything hard for myself

dw its fun for me it just takes a long time to actually hammer out

i wanna talk more about them but im thinking of better ways to actually organize my thoughts that just vomiting words on a page that no one will see anyway

it's gonna take some tome to figure out this place

maybe ill make separate blogs for original and fandom stuff idk ill explore the features more and get back to

#Spotify #Youtube

[scarletooyoroi]

what drew you to thoma's character? what do you love most about writing him?

Welcome! Hi and hello, lets dive into this lil number.

From the onset, what drew me to Thoma’s character was a mix of a caring but adventurous personality. It was more of a matter of resonance for me, enjoying his angle in the story alongside the many, many things that could be done in kind. He’s someone who holds an adventurous heart and that’s the primary motif I love to capitalize with Thoma. Second to that would be his perceptions of life, balancing it in the eye of righteousness and loyalty.

He’s someone who I can imagine being an active force if given the proper inspiration, and with Genshin’s story, I see a lot that can be done to make times with him really fun.

What made me come to stay also holds in that vein as well. He’s a really nice statement on a Vision wielder who follows a path of growth, doubly so when his ambition is rooted in genuinely making the world a better place for the people he loves. Holds that golden heart delinquent standard I love in my characters.

___

As for what I enjoy writing the most? I think it’d be his reactions to the world around him. Genshin in itself is immensely rich with sights, scenery and situations that can easily step into the larger than life scale. How it can dip into existential dread, how can prompt his personal resolve, to how he’d carry his belief by the chest despite the situation at hand. He’s not someone who will easily find themselves breaks, and in turn, can challenge a narrative and situation in order to pose more interesting situations (in my eyes.)

For example how Thoma’s mindset on the Shogun at the Vision ceremony didn’t end with a need be vengeful. Rather, his focus centered around trying to really understand their resolve while at the same time disagreeing with their stance at that time.

Did this probably change his life? Yes, for moments better and certainly worse, there will be trials to endure but that’s what I can also use Teyvat for. Whether it’s the people or it’s mystique to help find Thoma’s center on the situation.

All in all that’s what I find the most fun. On top of seeing how different muses cook up a different adventure with him.

#Anon #| Tucked Letters #Here it is. My Thoma lore #Thanks for the send in!

[wincore]

romeo roulette | jung yoonoh

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

summary: if finding your soulmate is the same as a damn game of russian roulette, you are determined to not pull the trigger at all. except, you know who your soulmate is and he doesn’t—and given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear.

genre: soulmate au, office au, fake dating, fluff (a lot), angst (a little), romcom, magical realism (??)

words: 21.2k

warnings: language

song recs: playlist here !

a/n: behold ! a kdrama compressed in a fic ! ok i was lying there was more than a little angst but all in good fun <3 i have never experienced working in an office (thanks to the panny) but i tried making it as accurate as i could !! hope you have fun with this <3

It’s not that you’ve never been looked at with a lover’s gaze, it’s just that whatever look Jaehyun has been giving you is mildly uncomfortable. It’s not supposed to be that way. Hell, even his hand clasping yours are a little too clammy for your liking.

Jung Yoonoh. Get your act together.

You wish he were a better actor than this. For someone used to eyes on him in each and every room he’s in, he’s not very good at making eye contact. You’ll be saving this performance. Not to stroke your own ego but at least you know how to behave under strong gazes.

There are three people staring at the two of you and your fingers intertwined, scrutinizing your postures and the expressions on your faces. Maybe Jaehyun should face them instead of glancing at you wordlessly. He’s a terrible liar for someone who acts so smooth. 

You look up with a short smile. The aforementioned three are your coworkers—former class rep at uni and your current boss Doyoung, your friend Soojin and Jaehyun’s friend Sicheng from IT. None of them look happy—like it concerns them. If there was a competition for nosy coworkers, this entire group would be winning awards left and right (and that’s including you). 

They’re going to find out, an annoying voice giggles inside the quiet corner of your brain. Like hell, they will. You didn’t take up acting lessons in college for nothing. You just need to focus on the details.

This whole charade dates its beginning to a week ago. 

If someone were to tell you Jung Yoonoh from marketing is your soulmate, you would most certainly either laugh or take it as a genuine insult. Hence, you were glad when you found that he isn’t. 

It was an accident. You had glimpsed at his soulmark, right below his collarbone, at a particularly wild office afterparty—and somehow, you thought it was fitting that his tattoo was a little red heart. For someone born on Valentine’s day (which you know from a night out with coworkers, not because you’re remotely interested), if his soulmark was not something as disgusting as a heart, it would be the textbook definition of irony. But then again, fate is a funny thing. Your soulmark is a heart roughly the same size, with a little more intricacy in the form of a piercing arrow.

Despite all, however, if someone were to ask you if Jung Yoonoh is the worst person to be your soulmate, the answer is no. You can name at least five coworkers off the top of your head that you’d choose him over. You would choose him over Doyoung (and especially his nagging), you would choose him over Taeyong because he’s too hot and you also don’t like men in a higher position than you are, you would choose him over Jungwoo because you suspect he’s secretly a furry. Jaehyun is certainly better than your deskmate Dongmin who, despite an angelic smile, is: a) too distant to make actual conversation with, and b) in a relationship despite being your soulmate. Sweet-tempered Dongmin doesn’t even know it’s you. You’d love to be the bearer of bad news but this one—you’re not exactly ready for it yourself.

So that’s the explanation for why you hunted down Jaehyun and in a desperate attempt to not seem pathetic, coerced him into a role that has carefully picked benefits for either of you. You just have to bite the bullet sometimes.

“And I get what out of this?”

“Me? Temporarily, that is.”

Jaehyun laughs in amusement and you drop your smile, almost offended. If you were a gift, you’d certainly be an attractive, spicy, hot one—he doesn’t have to look at you so incredulously. In a neat business suit, Jaehyun is as kempt as ever though his tie could do with some more work.  As an HR assistant, his appearance pleases you. However as a person, the perfection annoys the hell out of you. He could show himself to be more human. It would make your job (both the actual and the metaphorical) easier.

“I’m leaving,” he announces with a nonchalant exhale. “You keep messing around during work hours like this and people are going to think you’re jobless.”

“Wait!” 

You jog up to him and block his path, crossing your arms as you huff at his indignance. 

“I said no,” he repeats, and when he tries to evade you, you push him back with your palm flat against his chest. Jaehyun doesn’t show any more discomfort than usual, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You haven’t found your soulmate, right?” you say, taking a deep breath. If you have to resort to psychological warfare, so be it.

His smile wavers and he straightens, no longer leaning against the printer desk. “No. How does that matter?”

“It matters because you’re going to be my pretend-soulmate. Now, don’t be a pussy.”

He opens his mouth and closes it, furrowing his eyebrows. “You can’t always trick me into doing what you want.”

“I’ll ask Doyoung if you say no.”

“See—enough with the tricks, they don’t work anymore. I’ve known you for two years.”

“I really will ask him.”

“Not convincing enough. You don’t even talk to Doyoung outside work.”

You groan into your hand, taking a few moments to come up with another plan. How is your obvious charisma not enough? You certainly can’t tell him how rejected you feel with the whole Dongmin situation even if his rejection hasn’t officially come yet. It’s too embarrassing for a grown adult to go through. You don’t mind being lonely for the rest of your life if you’re successful. There’s a price tag on each decision you make anyway.

“I’ll treat you to lunch every day. I’ll pay.”

You cross your arms, tapping your foot in anticipation. They say the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. Besides, Jaehyun hates spending his lunch money on himself. This ought to do something.

Jaehyun places his hand in front of his mouth in mock surprise. “Oh no, out of your beloved paycheck? That’s kind of scary, honestly.”

“Jaehyun. Stop messing around. I’m being serious.”

He purses his lips, hesitation across his face. You don’t like the way he thinks, with quiet, lost eyes and no clear giveaways on his lips.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

You smile in relief though you try somewhat to not let it show on your face. 

“On one condition.”

Your eyes dart across his face, nothing that tells what he might suggest next. You hate when you don’t get to decide on things.

“You have to come visit my family next month and pose as my soulmate—”

“No way.”

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.”

You stare at him, weighing the odds. 

“Fine,” you say finally, voice pitched in slight annoyance.

Jaehyun shrugs.

“But I tell my parents that I rejected you. Or they’ll come after you with a task force or something.”

You mutter the last part.

He grimaces, holding his breath for a good few seconds and then letting it go.

“Alright. It’s not like mine and your parents know each other—or will ever meet.”

“Fine then,” you say. “We have an agreement.”

“We have an agreement,” he repeats.

Now, back to more pressing matters. The people in front of you aren’t a stupid lot—even if you've seen Doyoung spend $500 on plush toys, seen Sicheng absentmindedly walk into a desk and pretend to not be in pain for the next five minutes and Soojin somehow convinced a senior to get her coffee because she thought he was an intern (in her defence, it worked). 

The only way is to act through. You clear your throat.

"We… we discovered it last week. Our signs match."

Technically, you drew an arrow with a permanent marker over Jaehyun's tattoo in an attempt to resemble yours. It's not awful, but perhaps not perfect. 

“Discovered? Like just happened to find out?” Doyoung asks.

“Isn’t Jaehyun’s on…” Soojin leans in to whisper hurriedly in your ear. “On his butt? Did you guys sleep together?”

You contort your face in disgust. “The what? What? Who told you that? And no.”

Soojin makes an ‘ah’ sound and leans back. “I should stop listening to office rumours then.”

"You should." You glare at her.

Sicheng is the only one without questions at the tip of his tongue but the look on his face worries you most. 

“I’ve never seen your tattoo, now that I think about it,” he muses, turning to Jaehyun. “Although we’re roommates.”

Jaehyun clears his throat, looking around with shifty eyes. "Why is… why is everyone looking so suspicious?"

"It's just… so sudden," Soojin says, looking around at the others.

"Yeah," Sicheng mutters.

"Soulmate fraud is a big deal too, you know that right?" Doyoung informs. "You could get put in jail."

You throw up your hands in exasperation. "Why would we pretend? We don't have any reason to. And, uh, you're sure about the jail thing?"

You look at Doyoung, hoping your question didn’t come off too squeaky. 

"You’re right,” he says, sighing. “It’s so unlikely for soulmates to work in the same company, let alone the same building.”

“Oh, yes, I’m so lucky,” you mutter under your breath.

Doyoung sighs. "Look, we're happy for you. It's just that… it's a little sudden."

"Literally what I just said," Soojin says.

"Literally what she just said," Doyoung agrees quickly, not wanting to pick a fight. Sometimes you wonder who the real boss is.

"Look, just because we don't even acknowledge each other or find each other remotely attractive or wouldn't even be each other's office Christmas card candidate—"

Jaehyun nudges your side with his elbow and gives you a look that seems a lot like "You're making it worse".

You clear your throat. "That's what happens to most soulmates! You think you're going to land the perfect one and boom. You get a chump from marketing."

Jaehyun makes a sound of protest. "I didn't want a snob from HR either."

The two of you glare at each other, and you find that clenching his jaw makes Jaehyun slightly (around 0.05%) more attractive, or at the very least more bearable to look at.

Doyoung gasps. "Okay, I get it. You're having adjustment issues. I know a guy for that. He's helped every newly found soulmate couple adjust with each other."

"We don't need that," you interrupt, offering your fakest smile.

"You do," Doyoung responds, his smile equally fake. "I'll drive you this weekend if you're free. He’ll give you one free session. No more, because we all know how capitalism works."

People have got to stop copying your fake smile. You wish you could have it copyrighted because after all, it’s the same smile that tricks interviewees into thinking they got the job. It’s not evil if you say it isn’t. You open your mouth, look at Jaehyun doing the same and when you can't come up with an excuse, give up and nod. 

"Don't look so resentful," Doyoung says, tone slightly complaining. "I'm not doing this as your boss. We were friends in college and I'm just doing you a favour. A friendly favour."

Soojin hums in deep thought. "I feel like this is some sort of nepotism."

"I feel like you should open a dictionary once in a while," Doyoung mutters, only to get a vaguely threatening look from Soojin.

"Anyway," Sicheng diverts, eyes curious when he turns to Doyoung. "Why did you call us here?"

"Ah." Doyoung's eyes widen. "I heard promotion rumours."

Sicheng lets out a loud huff of annoyance. "You summoned us here for company gossip?"

Doyoung crosses his arms. “So, you’re not interested?”

“Who said that?” Sicheng responds quickly, leaning in.

The five of you huddle closer in a circle, looking as conspicuous as a cult. 

“You guys know that Jinyoung’s leaving, right?” Doyoung starts.

Soojin gasps audibly only to get a smack on the arm from Doyoung. “Why’s he leaving? He's like employee of the month every month. ”

A few chuckles pass through the group at her discontentment from months of losing out on the title.

“I heard he found his soulmate. Lucky ass gets tax benefits too now,” Sicheng complains. “Why is he leaving?”

“Oh, look who’s interested in gossip now,” Soojin coos.

Sichengs turns red in the face and looks away, clearing his throat. “You’re gonna answer my question, Doyoung?”

“Oh! Right.” Doyoung looks up from a text. “He got rejected by his soulmate.”

Soojin covers her mouth this time when she gasps and you can’t say your jaw doesn’t drop as well. 

“Rejected? Like our picture-perfect Jinyoung got rejected?” you repeat, trying to process the information. “Please don’t tell me he decided to be an idiot and sign a mutual rejection.”

“No, he didn’t lose his senses,” Doyoung responds with a duh undertone. “He’s getting the compensation money.”

You sigh. “Man, I feel bad for him.”

Jaehyun hums in agreement. There’s a hush over the group and you feel fear rise in your chest. You don’t want to be rejected. You’ve seen how happy Dongmin looks with his girlfriend—he’d reject you in a heartbeat. Of course, you could just receive the compensation money from the one-sided rejection and get it over with but you refuse to. It hurts to not be wanted. It hurts to not be wanted by someone who’s supposed to want you. To be specific, it hurts your pride. Every time you see the damn arrowed heart on Dongmin’s wrist, which he tries so hard to cover with his watch, you feel like throwing up. You’re glad yours isn’t as easy to spot—resting right above your hip bone.

“Anyway, someone’s getting promoted to that HR specialist position.”

You gasp. “Is it me? It’s me, right?”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and you elbow him. “What’s with you?”

“Don’t get too excited,” he says, shrugging. “Isn’t it stupid to get your hopes up over a rumour?”

Doyoung breathes out. “Wow, (name) really sucked the life out of you, Jaehyun.”

You glare at him when Soojin breaks into a fit of laughter. “You- you know what that- you know what that sounds like, right?”

Your face contorts into disgust and you shake your head. “Let’s be more professional, alright, Soojin?”

She clears her throat and straightens her clothes, like a teenager being reprimanded. “I’m your senior. It’s embarrassing when you say that to me.”

Jaehyun speaks up and turns to you. “I think lunch break is almost over.”

You raise an eyebrow. “So?”

“You’re forgetting something.” He smiles, dimples showing, but his eyes come off menacing.

“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You forgot about that stupid lunch promise. 

“Hey. Professional,” Soojin warns.

You groan and link your arm through Jaehyun’s, making him bite back a smile. What is it with men and getting weirdly happy about lunch?

“We’re gonna go get lunch,” you announce.

“Ooh, (name)’s ditching quality time with coworkers for dates now,” Soojin coos.

You roll your eyes and exit the office, stopping to wait in front of the elevator.

“I think that went well,” Jaehyun says, shrugging lightly.

“Shh. What if they hear us?”

“Do you think they’re X-men? We’re a long corridor and closed doors away.”

You huff, crossing your arms. “Still…”

Jaehyun’s smug smile makes you want to smack it right off and this isn’t the first time you’ve felt this way with him. You swear he’s not as bad as some of the guys you’ve met but Jaehyun is simply annoying. An A grade nuisance. You can trust him though. If Soojin says he’s a reliable guy, you’ll believe her—she doesn’t bluff when it comes to seeing right through men, though she does have a tendency to believe stupid rumours.

“Your acting was shit though,” you snipe.

Jaehyun lets out a low sardonic laugh. “At least I was subtle when I was messing up.”

You cross your arms and huff. “You know what? You can take the next elevator ride.”

“Huh?”

You step into the elevator just as the doors open and quickly jam your finger to the close doors button. The look of betrayal on Jaehyun’s face is subtle but it’s enough to satisfy you. As the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens—it’s very applicable to elevators. He can take the other one.

However, almost immediately after, the elevator doors open and you groan, opening your mouth to send a sarcastic congratulations to Jaehyun for pressing the button on time.

Your words hitch on your tongue. Dongmin greets the two of you with a smile, standing beside Jaehyun, who has his eyes averted from you.

“Hey,” Dongmin greets. “Congratulations. I heard the news.”

“Thanks,” you croak, clearing your throat with a bit of heat on your cheeks. Jaehyun looks like he might burst into a fit of laughter any moment and you shoot him a subtle glare.

“Where are you headed to?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m going to grab a sandwich from the cafeteria.”

“We’re also headed to the cafeteria,” Jaehyun declares, with a smile that’s almost devilish.

“No, we’re not,” you say quickly, making Dongmin raise an eyebrow. You hold back a groan. If only Dongmin weren’t raised to be the politest man you know and a little bit more of an asshole. 

You hum and turn to Jaehyun. “I told you about that new cafe. Remember, honey?”

Dongmin makes an ‘o’ with his mouth. “Nicknames, already? Ah, I’m so jealous. It must be great to get along with your soulmate.”

Oh, the sweet summer child that Dongmin is.

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “Oh, won’t it take too long, darling? We have—”

He makes a show of checking his Rolex, a gift he received from his superior that he spares no chance to flex.

“—Around ten minutes left.”

You hold back a groan and plaster on your smile. “Come on. Now is the best time.”

“That sounds like a load of—”

You elbow Jaehyun hard in the gut and a restrained sound dies in his throat, eyes widening in the sweet look of discomfort taking over his features. You smile triumphantly and turn to Dongmin with an immediate change of expression.

“I’ll see you in office later,” you say, bowing slightly.

Dongmin nods and gets off on the fifth floor. You watch in quiet relief as the elevator door closes and turn to your dear companion, irked.

“Did you have to do that?” Jaehyun asks, voice raspy with pain.

“You deserved it. Don’t you dare make this a bigger mess than it already is.”

“You came up with it.” Jaehyun straightens, finally. Apart from the few loose strands of his neatly parted hair, he doesn’t seem all that disgruntled.

“And we’re going to set some ground rules,” you declare, closing your arms.

Jaehyun straightens to his full height, the space between the two of you diminishing. 

"Okay," he agrees. "Then we both get a say in it. It's a contract, after all."

"Fine. First rule, no being weird around Dongmin."

Jaehyun chuckles. "I think you need to be more careful about that than I do."

You pat his cheek. "Focus. Just don't- don't be around him for too long."

Jaehyun purses his lips. "Why are you so uncomfortable around him? I thought you were doing this because you didn't want to reject him."

You glance away, feeling uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter. I just don't want him to know."

Jaehyun hums. "Fine. My turn. No calling me a chump."

Your cheeks puff up as you try to contain your laughter. "It bothered you that much, huh?"

Jaehyun furrows his brows. "No one's ever called me that before. It's always 'oh my god, he's so handsome, who is he?' or 'ooh, I might faint from how hot he is'."

You giggle. "Alright, handsome."

Jaehyun exhales, his puffed cheeks making him look like a resentful five year old instead of a grown man with a professional job. You pause before you get back on track.

“No nicknames,” you blurt. “It’s weird when you call me something endearing. And your flirting feels kind of threatening.”

“What do you mean, baby?”

“See! You’re doing it again.” You cross your arms at the look on his face; anything close to victorious over Jaehyun’s features is unbearable to you.

He raises his arms in exasperation. “How are we supposed to make this work if we act like we don’t care about each other. Guess why Doyoung’s taking us to couple therapy?”

You huff, slightly pissed off. “You’re saying it was my fault?”

“I’m saying we could have avoided that with better acting.”

“You think you’re so—”

The elevator door opens with a ding on the first floor and you turn to find a bunch of interns back from their lunch break. It would be much less of an awkward affair if you and Jaehyun weren’t well into each other’s personal spaces, noses almost touching and with a mutual glare which could be easily mistaken for a look of something more sensual. You jump away from Jaehyun and leave the elevator as fast as you can, feeling far too conscious of yourself. With long strides, you exit the corporate airs of the building to a sunny, fairly populous sidewalk. 

Jaehyun catches up to you, bending and trying to catch a glimpse of your face with an incredulous smile over his.

“Don’t say a word, Yoonoh.”

“Ooh, you’re saying my name now.”

“This isn’t funny!”

“I find it plenty funny.”

“That’s because of your trash sense of humour.”

“Mhm.”

“Don’t look so smug.”

Mondays are the days that make you want to scream in agony, not Thursdays—though they are pretty high up on the worst days of the week list. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe pretending to be in love with someone you simply cannot be in love with is an awful idea. 

Soulmates don’t need to be in love with each other, you think to yourself. There’s plenty of soulmates who are just in it for the financial benefits; you can just pretend to be one of them. This dilemma is starting to fray your nerves and Jung Yoonoh, with his lax disposition and dimpled cheeks, is making it worse. And to top it off, you now have to take him to your favourite (kind of secret) cafe in the name of the lies that slipped your tongue. It was supposed to be a quiet comfort spot for you.

You blow a puff of air out and dismiss the thought. Comfort spots aren’t real anyway when you’re all grown. There’s bound to be a breach. 

However, you will not let the (lacking) romance department of your life get sorted out by someone who doesn’t even know you. Lady luck would be an acquaintance to you at most. If fate is a game of chance after all, you might as well be the one spinning the roulette. You look at Jaehyun, piecing together the perfect plan for this seemingly frivolous play-pretend. The game is in your hands now. 

You blink at the figure of Jung Yoonoh under February sunlight on a modestly busy sidewalk. It’s not something to be surprised at—however, the stark contrast in attire makes you stare longer than you intend to. Wearing a black graphic hoodie and pair of worn out jeans, Jaehyun looks about as casual as you can bear. It’s always weird to see coworkers out of formal clothing.

“Are you just going to stare at me till Doyoung comes and picks us up?” he asks. 

You roll your eyes. 

“You look nice,” he says, and you glance down at your outfit with a flush of heat over your cheeks. It’s just a short A-line skirt, stockings and a sweatshirt. This is as basic as you get. What’s worse is that his comment didn’t sound sarcastic.

“You- You look nice too. I guess.” Once in a while, you will say something extremely stupid and pretend it never happened. The frequency increases around Jaehyun for some damn reason.

“You guess? I’m pretty sure I look more than nice.”

“And how long did you look at yourself in the mirror and practise catchphrases this time?”

Jaehyun’s ears turn the shade of cherries and you press down your smile. You knew that time you caught him talking to himself in front of a car window would play to your advantage. 

“What’s that you’re holding?” you ask, eyeing the plastic bag he’s holding.

“Ginseng,” he answers, staring blankly at the cars passing by. “I heard the couples therapist is in his sixties so he might find it useful.”

“Oh, old people stuff,” you muse quietly. “That’s quite thoughtful of you.”

You should’ve brought something, you think for a moment before realizing that couples probably don’t give separate gifts. 

“Thanks,” you mutter.

He raises an eyebrow. “For what?”

You shake your head. “Anyway, we might as well kill some time. Twenty questions. Let’s go.”

He laughs. “What are we, in college?”

You wrinkle your nose. “Don’t make us sound like we’re thirty. I bet you’re the kind of guy who has his retirement plan figured out.”

“Wrong,” he emphasizes, face leaning closer. 

“Fine. I’ll start the questions, you unsalted block of butter. How many relationships have you been in?”

Jaehyun opens his mouth and closes it, ears turning red. “That’s your first question?”

You roll your eyes. “Okay. I’m guessing it’s single digit and on the lower side.”

He rolls his eyes. “How many relationships have you been in?”

You shut your mouth. There’s a moment of silence, a breeze passing you by, carrying winter away in its arms to make room for spring. 

“Never found a relationship worth it,” you mutter, glancing away. 

Jaehyun hesitates before opening his mouth. “Me neither.”

“Good thing for us, eh? Love makes people crazy.”

Jaehyun faces you with a clipped smile. Never did you think Jaehyun from marketing would be relating to you on a personal matter.

“Oh, but I’ve had enough hookups and I can bet you’re mediocre at best in bed.” 

Jaehyun glares at you. “I am not and I can prove it to you.”

“Is that an invitation into your bed? No, thanks.”

He opens his mouth to retort but is interrupted by the Hyundai Grandeur pulling up to the sidewalk and rolling down the driver window to reveal Doyoung. He looks as overworked as usual, but his eyes are more tired, a bit of makeup covering the dark circles. You’ve heard his soulmate is a makeup artist for an idol group and wonder how they even came to be. Does fate throw darts randomly and pick its choice?

“Get in. Quick,” Doyoung instructs. “I have to drop you off and head home. My family is visiting. I didn’t even get a warning and they think I’m in a gay relationship with Taeyong because we still have our friendship rings from college.”

You want to laugh and agree but Doyoung looks rather pissed off so you hold it in. The two of you do as told, getting in the backseat and shutting the doors in sync. The car smells rather leafy mingling with the scent of fresh clothes and you eye the jar dangling from the rear-view mirror. You open your mouth to ask what scent that is when Doyoung’s voice rings out.

“What’s that?” Doyoung signals to the bag with Jaehyun.

Jaehyun looks down. “Ginseng extract.”

“Oh, the gift pack?” Doyoung asks. 

Jaehyun nods and Doyoung chuckles, shaking his head. “If that’s for Mr. Lee, forget it. He hates gifts. Something about inward appreciation and shit.”

Jaehyun groans, massaging his forehead. “What do I do with this then? Is this guy a priest?”

“Give it to Doyoung,” you suggest. “His family’s visiting.”

You hear an audible hum of approval from the driver seat and turn to Jaehyun making a face of reluctance. Maybe he isn’t so magnanimous after all, you think smiling.

“You’re both quite tame today,” Doyoung remarks, just when the silence is starting to swallow the inside of the car. “Makes me wonder if you need Mr. Lee after all.”

“We actually don’t…” You shake your head. “We’re here and it’s free so why not?”

Jaehyun shoots you a questioning look. It’s not like you can cancel when you’re in Doyoung’s car and already on the way. You’ve known your boss long enough to know the wrong answer to his questions. You look outside at Seoul streets and sigh. 

Jaehyun looks at you, your focus elsewhere and wishes this would end already. He has no idea what overcame him to accept your ridiculous offer but he must be just as ridiculous. At the very least, he finds you quite lovely to look at—not that he’d ever admit it to you. The foundation to this weird bickering friendship (if he can call it that) would be ruined by that. His ego, however, has been boosted up a few notches from the fact that you called him for help. He looks outside the window, holding back a smile. It’s a sunny day.

The therapist, Mr. Lee’s office building is a fancy one with an even fancier lobby. Baby pink leather couches cushion your bum nicely as you wait for your appointment. The architecture is that of a corporate firm and you feel quite at home with the large glass walls by the revolving door. This therapist guy must be rich as hell. The receptionist wears a formal uniform; her blouse is light pink with a grey pencil skirt and you like the look of it. You wonder if asking her where she bought it is time-appropriate. More couples sit around you and you, unfortunately, have to scoot closer to Jaehyun as a result. You do not want to catch that disease they all have. Why are they even here for therapy if they’re smiling at each other in that sickly enamored way? 

Now that you’re here, you’re starting to feel that this arrangement was ill-decisive. You should’ve done a better job of acting. You wonder if you can get a refund for that college course on acting, pouting as the ticking wall clock gets on your nerves. Even the marble floors are pink; the walls are mahogany red and there’s a heart-shaped wall clock, and should you glance around more, you’re going to nauseate yourself. This guy certainly takes his job seriously—or just really likes pink-red themes.

A woman in her early thirties exits the elevator and announces your names, and you click your tongue at the fact that she used Jung for your surname. It sounds distasteful. 

You follow her, starting to get nervous. You really hope this Mr. Lee isn’t as good as Doyoung says he is. Your fraud falling apart within three days is too embarrassing a defeat, not to mention bordering on illegal if found out. What the fuck does the government care about broken hearts and beneficial relationships? It’s so nosy. You understand the financial situation in case of happily bonded soulmates but apart from that, there really shouldn’t be this much discrepancy in the name of love.

Love drives people crazy. You’d rather not lose your good sense in the name of something so inane. After all, money makes the world go around, not love. 

Restricting a gag at the deep red heart on the door, you push them open with Jaehyun to find an old man sitting on a similar baby pink couch as in the lobby. He gets up to greet the two of you, the wrinkles on his face deepening when he smiles. Despite everything, he has a sort of grace to him, the one that comes with growing old elegantly. An upbeat song plays on a record player attached to the wall, although at a very low volume, and the tune reminds you of Animal Crossing. 

“Doyoung told me about the two of you,” Mr. Lee says, gesturing at the two of you to sit down. “How long has it been since you found out?”

“Six days,” you answer at the same time Jaehyun answers, “Four days”.

The two of you look at each other.

“Four-Six days. We didn’t keep track.”

“Ah,” Mr. Lee says. “How do you propose to celebrate your anniversary?”

You hesitate opening your mouth and declaring that you don’t really need to do that crap. Mr. Lee notices your expression and breaks into gentle laughter. 

“I’m kidding. Anniversary dates don’t matter,” he laughs. “It’s okay to celebrate your 100-day on the wrong day. Don’t worry.”

You purse your lips. To your dismay, Jaehyun isn’t as bothered by the sickly pink environment and Mr. Lee’s relaxed demeanour.

“I have a hundred percent success rate,” Mr. Lee assures the two of you, looking directly at you.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” you mutter under your breath and get a nudge from Jaehyun, who has his politest smile on.

You can’t believe Jaehyun has a better customer service mode than you do. If you didn’t know him, you’d be fooled into thinking he’s the nice guy character every office has. Unfortunately, that one goes to Dongmin. You hate getting stuck with nice guys (unless they offer financial stability).

“I think Doyoung might have been exaggerating,” Jaehyun explains calmly. “Whatever he told you.”

“He told me the two of you have a bickering problem. And staring at each other when the other isn’t looking.”

You cough. “That is not true. The staring part.”

Jaehyun narrows his eyes at you. “I knew you were checking me out,” he mutters.

You roll your eyes. “Keep dreaming, Jaehyun.”

Mr. Lee laughs. “Your bickering seems to be quite affectionate. I don’t know what that boy was worried about.”

You press your lips together into a thin smile, annoyed that anyone would ever describe your interaction with a man as affectionate. It makes you feel like an idiot. You were always better off alone—the universe was wrong to assign Dongmin to you. Maybe you needed to see the apparent love of your life clearly in love with someone else to snap you to reality.

“However, what is a playful lover’s fight in the beginning can turn into real fights.”

“Right,” you mutter. “It’s all fun and games in the beginning.”

“The two of you have almost no animosity—you’ve known each other before you discovered the soulmark, right?”

The two of you nod, having already reconciled yourselves to this session. It’s a one-time thing, you tell yourself. It will be over soon.

“The soulmate information shouldn’t influence the relationship you already had. If anything, it should be drawing you closer. First time awkwardness is common.”

He’s starting to sound a lot like your high school sex ed teacher. You get the idea to pretend to be sick and get out of this early.

“Company policy too,” Jaehyun mutters. “Unofficial company policy makes office romance out to be some sort of sacrilege.”

“You know, I was the CEO of your company so I do know the policies,” Mr. Lee says, smiling in the confident, reserved way senior citizens offering wisdom do. 

You choke on the water you were taking a sip of, a coughing fit overcoming you and Jaehyun hesitates before awkwardly patting your back.

“Huh? CEO? I’m sorry?” you manage. 

Mr. Lee lets out a loud, hearty laugh. “I stepped down two years ago.”

“That’s when I joined,” you and Jaehyun say at the same time.

Mr. Lee smiles at the two of you wordlessly. “I have an idea for the two of you. Why don’t you try turning your ‘I’s into ‘we’s? Do some activities together and when you talk about it, you’ll find yourself much closer.”

You narrow your eyes. “You know, Mr. Lee, I’m a little curious about your relation with the company—”

“My recommendations won’t help you get promotions faster.”

“Dammit.”

Jaehyun chuckles beside you but a glare from you turns it into a suppressed smile. The one thing that wouldn’t be a waste of time opened its door and closed it right back. 

“But you know how promotions work,” you press, leaning forward.

An alarm rings, so pleasant in tone that you know it’s a Samsung. Unfortunately, it’s the ugly flip model and you question Mr. Lee’s taste (and wealth).

“Oh, look, time’s up,” Mr. Lee announces, and you think you catch a hint of nervousness in his voice. 

Jaehyun springs up before his ears turn red, embarrassed by the gusto with which he himself got up and looks at you expectantly. You get up, sighing.

“Next time, Mr. Lee,” you warn. “I will get those details.”

“I charge by the hour.” He smiles.

“Stop threatening the therapist,” Jaehyun mutters to you, taking your arm and turning to leave.

“Oh, and,” Mr. Lee calls. “It’s always better to be honest than to pretend.”

You blink in surprise when Jaehyun tugs at your arm, bowing in thanks and leaving the room with you.

“Was it just me or did he see through us?” you whisper to Jaehyun.

He shakes his head, whispering back, “There’s no way he could tell. He’s probably referring to something else.”

“Like what?”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer.

“Tell me, are you always so domineering towards strangers even?” he asks. “I just thought you liked to press my buttons because I’m easygoing.”

You scoff. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not as cool as you think you are, especially since you get so hot and bothered by me.”

“It’s just you,” he whispers earnestly and your pulse rises. “No one else.”

You cough to kill the awkward silence and walk faster to the elevator. Jaehyun follows at a leisurely pace and it’s never occurred to you before but the sound of someone’s footsteps can also be annoying, proof currently standing beside you.

The elevator doors open, and much to your appallment, a young couple happens to be full blown making out inside the elevator, hands where there certainly shouldn’t be in broad daylight. Jaehyun whips his face away, clearing his throat loud enough for the couple to detach themselves from each other and hurriedly exit, fixing their clothes on the way.

“So he wasn’t lying about the success rate,” Jaehyun states quietly, a look of resigned horror on his face.

You can’t even respond for a few moments, following him into the elevator and shaking your head to get rid of the thought that inevitably jams itself inside your head. It might have a point, however.

"Maybe we should kiss too," you think out loud.

Jaehyun stiffens, looking at you with wide, fearful eyes. "No."

"We have to kiss, we're dating!" You exclaim, hands on your hips.

"We're not actually—ah, whatever. It’s not worth bickering with you."

"Why? Afraid you'll fall in love with me?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, and you’re suddenly aware that your bickering keeps drawing you closer to each other, your faces nearer than you’d realized.

"If anything," he starts with a confident smile. "You better not fall in love with me."

"Oh, please. You're taking this way too seriously."

"You're the one that wants to kiss me."

Your cheeks heat up. "You're- I- That's not—argh, fuck you."

Jaehyun looks smug, and you have the unstoppable urge to punch it off his face. You take a deep breath. Violence is not the way, (name).

“If we were a few years younger, you’d be begging for mercy under me,” you seethe.

Jaehyun’s eyes shift over your face in confusion, ears burning bright red with each passing second. Before he can open his mouth, you let out a short yell.

“Not like that, you pervert,” you say, leaning away from him. 

“I didn’t even say anything. On an unrelated note, were you a delinquent in school?”

You roll your eyes. “Kind of. I had a temper and a sharp tongue.”

“And now you’re a people pleaser. That’s quite the development.”

You smack his shoulder. “You’re getting on my nerves, punk.”

He makes an ‘oh’ with his mouth before smiling. “You totally did the delinquent accent.”

“I’m guessing you were the shy, little boy who flushed red at conversations about kissing.”

Jaehyun clears his throat in annoyance. “I was not. I was quite popular in high school and college, you know?”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “It’s that face of yours.”

“Sorry, what? I didn’t catch that.”

“Oh, look, we’re on the first floor.” You exit the elevator, leaving a puzzled Jaehyun to follow in stumbling steps.

“I don’t think Doyoung’s picking us up,” you state. “You take the bus? Or do you have a car to flex? I don’t ride in anything below a Tesla, unless it’s Doyoung because he’s technically my boss.”

“You’ll have to do with good old rented Hyundais,” he answers.

You exhale. Maybe he’s getting used to you. The bus stop is opposite the building, the structure squeaky clean and a bunch of people waiting on the seats. It’s a busy place and you wonder if the scammy-therapist-slash-your-former-ceo’s business has anything to do with that. You sit the first chance you get, shoulders pressed against Jaehyun’s for the lack of space and admiring the passing traffic. Seoul really just depends on the lenses you see through. Work days make the screen tinted grey and blue and you hate them often but some days, it’s good to experience those. Weekends are brighter, sunny and usually not with Jaehyun but he doesn’t really put a damper on them either.

You scan his side profile, a little envious when you realize that his confidence isn’t misplaced. You might have trained yourself to be more of a pleaser over the years but he’s the sort of person people come to like naturally. Moreover, his skin is perfect and his hair is always looking styled even in a mess. Fate and Life are partners in crime when it comes to being unfair.

Jaehyun turns to look at you and you snap your head to your lap, turning on your phone and staring at the homescreen for a good few seconds.

“Twenty questions,” Jaehyun announces. “Let’s play again. I’ll go first. Do you check me out when I walk away?”

“What is this, playing my own cards against me?” You scoff. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“So, yes or no?”

“Sometimes,” you mutter. “But it’s not the good kind of checking out. I’m checking out how terrible you look with your mess of a tie.”

Jaehyun laughs, the sound a hearty rumbling sort and you can’t help but smile back at that. It’s kind of cute when he laughs—the sound of it and the way his cheeks are dusted pink.

“My turn,” you say with a cheeky smile as you lean in to whisper. “Have you ever had a wet dream about me?”

Jaehyun chokes on air, coughing out the surprise as he stares at you dumfound. You stick the tip of your tongue out and throw him a wink, thoroughly enjoying this victory against him. It feels great to fluster someone like Jaehyun.

“No,” he says with clear emphasis. 

“Even the night you said I was so unbearably hot very loudly to Sicheng?”

Jaehyun leans back sighing, covering his face with his hand. “I was tipsy. And it was my first night out with coworkers. Give me a break.”

You giggle. “Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were worse incidents that night. An intern threw up on Doyoung’s shoes—I can’t even imagine the horror the poor girl experienced.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, smiling through his hand. 

“Have you ever sent nudes?” you ask, wiggling your eyebrows.

He sighs. “Maybe. Have you?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”

He curls his lips. The answer seems to be no but you’re at least seventy percent sure he would be attracted to you in a world where your personality traits weren’t being nosy and annoying.

“Do you think you’re a good kisser?” Jaehyun asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“Definitely.”

He scoffs, a smile tugging at his lips.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms.

He shrugs, leaning in slightly as though flirting (if he had the audacity). “We could test that.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “What happened to no kissing in the contract?”

“It’s not officially there.”

You roll your eyes, glancing away. “You know, I’m starting to believe you were some sort of desperate fuckboy in college.”

“I- I was the hottest dude on campus and if we went to the same college, you would be pining after me. I literally had the Campus Prince title and girls would follow me to see me in class.”

He crosses his arms, a frown tugging down his lips.

“Ooh, Jung Yoonoh’s getting fired up,” you say in a monotonous voice. “Wonder how many girls you pulled with your chewed up fuckboy dialogue.”

Jaehyun scoffs but he clearly finds your accusations amusing, as hinted by his unbothered smile. He asks a question again.

“What’s more important to you—truth or happiness?” 

The question catches you off-guard. Jaehyun’s eyes are delicately curious, nothing too strong and even so, you find yourself holding your breath under his gaze.

“Huh?”

“Twenty questions. We were playing?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“Right.” You clear your throat, rubbing the back of your hand. “I… I’d choose happiness, I think. I’m… I’m not sure.”

“Really?” He doesn’t look too hellbent on taking apart your answer so you breathe out. He’s starting to pry into you finally. “I think the truth will make you happier.”

“That’s not- that’s not always true.” You look away, hoping the quietness of your voice ends the conversation there. You don’t know how to talk about it—you never really have. You’ve ugly cried over the lack of your love life to a stranger after five shots of whiskey but you don’t think you can talk about things like this sober. You don’t even know why you answered. Jaehyun makes you feel oddly comfortable.

Jaehyun shrugs, getting up when the next bus halts in front. 

“What did you major in?” you ask, following him.

“Business,” he answers before thinking. “Kind of hated it. But I started out with IT and that was somehow worse.”

You gasp, taking a seat beside him on the bus. “I started with IT too! It was a nightmare. You took that Database Management course?”

Jaehyun smiles. “It was like the course equivalent of reading the back of a Wi-Fi Router.”

You laugh. Maybe he isn’t so different after all. 

“You know, you do look like a business major,” you hum, furrowing your brows as you pretend to scrutinise him.

“So, you’re indirectly saying I either look like a rich kid or a jackass.” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow.

“They’re both the same thing.”

The laughter from the two of you makes an old woman behind you grunt in displeasure and the two of you apologize. It’s nice to talk like college kids again. The Seoul sunlight shines on Jaehyun’s face and you bite back a smile when his dimples appear. They aren’t all that bad. If you get along like this, there’s no reason to worry about fate and the universe and other superfluous things offered to you on a boring old ceramic plate. It’s a smooth ride.

Your eyes drift to Dongmin’s workspace instinctively and you shake your head. This is exactly why you were avoiding him and even started the entire fake relationship with Jaehyun. You’d choose fake dating a (good-looking) chump from management over embarrassment and possible heartbreak any day.

You groan internally before glancing again and find the desk empty. Surprised, you blink and turn only to scream at Dongmin’s figure behind you.

“Shh!” he says urgently. “Don’t move. And don’t panic when I say this but there’s a bug on your shoulder.”

“What the fuck? Get it off, please,” you say, voice choking up.

Dongmin rolls up a stack of papers and you let out a low screech. “Don’t kill it on my shoulder!”

“Sorry,” he says and your eyes soften as he gently pushes the paper against your shoulder and takes it away. You breathe a sigh of relief and he signs you a thumbs up as he wiggles the paper in the air outside the window. 

��You saved me,” you say, smiling.

He returns it, his most beloved eye smile making you wonder if you made the right choice. Wouldn’t it be fun to just crash everything and watch it burn? You know you want to. Benevolence and grace were never your style. However, it’s his smile again that stops you. Maybe you don’t really want to be the bad guy after all. You’re sparing him from confusion and dread.

You’re sparing yourself from rejection and inevitable loneliness (yay).

It’s been a week, discussing details with Jaehyun before the both of you collectively decided to just wing it and hope you’re not caught. After all, there’s no real way to prove you’re not soulmates if you’re careful enough (the same way you can’t prove someone’s cheating if they’re careful enough but that’s quite a depressing analogy). Perhaps if you renounce the soulmate benefits (and Dongmin didn’t smile as often at you), it would be less morally taxing. You, however, are greedy. When you want something, you’ll do anything to get it.

You stare at the computer screen and sigh, cross checking the employee records for incorrect data and your eyelids start to droop. Of all the days, you just had to be assigned the most boring task on a Friday. You also should’ve gotten sleep instead of getting mad at Jaehyun’s dry responses to your plan of action. It was perfectly viable; unnecessary, but perfect nonetheless.

Soojin rolls her chair backwards into yours. “We’re going drinking tonight. Wanna come? You can bring your boy-toy too.”

You roll your eyes. “As much as I’d love to call him that, he’s still the chump from marketing for me.”

“Or,” Soojin emphasizes. “Your actual soulmate. How lucky is it that you work in the same building, in the same company?”

“I’m not sure if you’re being ironic.” You scroll through the database with trained eyes.

“I’m not. A lot of soulmates don’t even get to see each other because of their line of work. It’s so tragic.”

You’d be glad if you didn’t get to see Dongmin ever too. But you’ll keep that to yourself. You hum in response and hear a sigh from behind you.

“Let’s have fun,” she whines. “Is Jaehyun that much of a downer? He’s one of the hottest dudes in the building. I thought you’d be cheery.”

You pause and think to yourself. She does have a point. You’re definitely supposed to look happier. Your soulmate has the looks of a model and fifteen year old you would fawn over him no doubt.

“It’s the work,” you answer. “I’m working overtime to compensate for my rent.”

You work overtime anyway because you hate heading home to an empty apartment. 

“Ah, you signed a new lease, right? Near Songpa?” Soojin looks at you with pity and pats your shoulder. “You know what? I’ll treat you to drinks tonight. You deserve a day off, missy.”

You smile. “Thanks, Soojin.”

“And,” she adds in a singsong voice. “The love of your life is here.”

You furrow your eyebrows before tilting your head and almost sighing in exasperation at the figure of Jung Yoonoh outside the glass door. He may not show it, but you know distress when you see it. You’ve seen enough squirming undergraduates at company interviews. 

You quickly get up from your seat, praying that he didn’t mess something up. However, you find it cute when he looks like this, the urge to fluster him even more presenting itself to be rather tempting.

“I think you have a sick obsession with me, Jaehyun.” You cross your arms after closing the door behind you.

He exhales, closing his eyes for a moment before taking your arm and pulling you away from the door. 

“Woah, this isn’t high school. You can’t just pull me into a corner to make out.”

Jaehyun’s ears flare hot red and he clears his throat. “You’re in high spirits today.”

You weren’t, actually. Somehow, teasing Jaehyun gives you the same rush as caffeine. You just love when the nonchalance on his face turns into discomposure.

“I came to give Doyoung these files. Or you, since you’re practically his assistant.”

You ignore his comment. “There’s clearly something else.”

“The team sports event is coming up,” Jaehyun starts, hesitating. “I’m not managing it this year. I have to participate.”

“So?”

“So Dongmin has a higher chance of finding us out. What if he sees my mark in the changing room and it all goes to shit?”

“Great! He’ll think you’re his soulmate and I’ll be spared from this nonsense.”

“I’m being serious. It’s already difficult living with Sicheng and having to change with my doors locked. It’s kind of suspicious.”

“Do you guys sleep naked with each other or what?”

“No, but I do sleep with my shirt off.”

“Ugh. Why would you give me that image?” you complain. The image isn’t bad per se but it’s not what you need right now.

“You clearly liked it,” he mutters. 

You furrow your eyebrows. “You’re not doing this just to give me a load of unnecessary anxiety, are you? Do you know how swamped with work I am?”

“No, of course not,” he answers, no indication of which question he answered. “Also, is there a reason Soojin’s glaring at me?”

You wave your hand in dismissal. “It’s just the haven’t-warmed-up-to-coworker’s-new-boyfriend glare. Don’t worry about it.”

He doesn’t seem too relieved but you have more anxious thoughts invading the privacy of your Friday evening. You have to keep up your composure. It could happen one way or another, perhaps in a situation better than a team sports activity, but you have to figure it out. You reject your soulmate anyway—the same way he would.

Glaring at Jaehyun one last time, you get back to your desk. Jaehyun looks at your receding figure and finds himself checking you out, the largest blow he’s taken to his dignity. He shakes his head, breathing in and out. This is so not like him. He’s supposed to be the suave, handsome guy who people can’t seem to get to and yet—yet, you do it so easily. It’s unfair. He swallows his heart and tells himself he’s too old to feel this way. He’ll just drown himself in work and pretend love is a commodity like everyone else with a corporate job is supposed to. 

“You know,” Soojin starts when you get back. “Jaehyun kind of looks high if you look at him long enough. Weed is illegal though but who knows? Maybe he’s a bad boy deep down after all.”

“Which rumour have you been paying attention to now?” You sigh deeply.

Soojin laughs. “It’s funny to hear everyone’s opinions. Even if most of them turn into scandalous tall tales.”

“Anyway,” she continues. “I’m clocking out. I’ll get Jaehyun to take you to the sake bar.”

You look at her, puzzled.

“You’re a matching set now,” she follows up and you groan.

“Don’t give me that cr—”

“Toodle-oo! Let’s have some fun before we’re grey and old, eh?”

You sigh and nod. Maybe you should look into a caffeine fix, even if it costs you a mental power outage at the end of the rush. It’s not like you to be so down on a Friday but alas, Fate is as miserable a woman as you are. The sake bar is starting to sound good.

Or, you could always watch a few ASMR cooking videos instead of staring blankly at the employee records. Either way, this Friday better improve by tonight.

“This is going great,” Soojin says, louder than she probably intended after her fourth shot.

“Of course it is,” you mutter. 

You haven’t yet had a chance to drink more because of two reasons: one) Soojin is hogging the alcohol and two) it would be embarrassing to get drunk in front of Jaehyun. Adding to your misery, Soojin has been gushing over her soulmate and the way she always makes breakfast for Soojin, listing off every single recipe she’s made. You would love to listen but you’re a tiny bit past your limit.

“Wooh, Jaehyun, you look hot,” Soojin whistles, in more of an older sister manner. “I can almost see your tattoo. Why don’t the two of you show us at the same time and we can take a commemorative picture?”

You cough loudly. “Mine’s on my waist, Soojin. I’m not ready to expose skin.”

“Right. Sorry.” She turns back at lightning speed to bother Dongmin with her stories, who smiles at her politely. It seems so genuine that you’re slightly enamored with it for a moment. There’s Jungwoo from marketing beside him, some more HR employees and thankfully, no interns. Doyoung is the only one partly miserable in the lot, talking into the phone for half an hour now. 

“Shit.” Jaehyun nudges you and whispers, “I forgot about the tattoo. This T-shirt makes it very visible.”

You look at him, alarmed. You fix his jacket, startling him, and pull the zipper all the way to his neck, making sure to backhand him on the chin.

“There.”

“It’s hot in here.”

“What do you want me to do about it? God, you’re like a child.”

“I’m like a—okay. Just cover my tattoo with foundation or something.”

“You think I carry around a whole bottle of foundation?”

Jaehyun blinks, deeming it safer to keep his mouth shut. 

“Okay. Fine. I have an idea. Come to the washroom with me.”

“Oh my, this isn’t your making out in the corner type of thing, right?”

You glare at him and he shuts up, following you quietly to the surprisingly clean restroom. The fact that it isn’t gendered makes you very glad. You make Jaehyun sit on the low enough basin counter and push your knee against it to balance yourself as you take out a permanent marker from your bag.

“I hope Doyoung doesn’t fire me for sneaking away,” you mutter angrily. “He didn’t even make me receive his calls all day.”

Jaehyun scoffs lightly. “Please, Doyoung adores you and your work ethic. He talks about it more than what I need to overhear. That and Taeyong’s detailed aquarium maintenance rules.”

“He does?”

Jaehyun clears his throat and you hold back bombing him with more questions till you’re done with painting an arrow into his tattoo.

“Isn’t it weird?” He looks at you with round, curious eyes. “Yours is a heart. Mine’s a pierced heart.”

“Hm. Funny coincidence.”

“Do you have to sit on my lap for this?”

“I’m not sitting on your lap,” you hiss. You are kind of close. You train your eyes on his collarbone as you pull his neckline down. 

It would be so embarrassing to be caught like this. You’d rather be caught making out with someone in the broom closet. You hold back a pained sigh. Jaehyun has some nerve speaking to you when you’re already annoyed with him. Couldn’t he just have worn his business attire? Why does he get to go home early? Taeyong is far too lenient a boss. You start swearing internally, getting nervous when you think about the consequences of your actions.

“Has anyone ever filed a complaint against you?” Jaehyun asks, and you nudge his chin upwards to draw the line on his tattoo.

“For what? Being perfect and successful?”

“For that attitude. The ‘take what I want’ attitude.”

You roll your eyes. “No. You’re saying it like I’m awful to the core for trying to take what I want. I haven’t got such a bad soul, you know, as souls go. You wouldn't write articles about how good a soul it is but… it’s well enough.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow and you avert your gaze from his eyes. This sort of proximity shouldn’t be bothering you, you shouldn’t be rambling.

The door opens right then and in a fit of panic, you do the unthinkable. You press your lips to Jaehyun’s and pray that whoever walked in has no idea who you are and more importantly, can’t see the permanent marker in your hand. 

“I’m so sorry!”

You know that voice. You half regret it when you hear it. Dongmin exits the bathroom as quickly as he entered and you pull away to look at the empty space. Beside you, Jaehyun stays so still that you forget he’s there for a moment. You breathe out in relief though part of you still feels a heavy ounce of regret.

You turn back to Jaehyun and find his doe eyes soft and lost in thought.

“I get it now,” Jaehyun whispers. “It must hurt. That he doesn’t care about the system.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That he’s so reckless about discarding you.”

You separate yourself from him further, standing up and brushing your clothes. “You’re overstepping.”

“Sorry,” he responds quietly. 

There’s a pause.

“Did you just kiss me right now?”

“Shut up. I didn’t want him to see us and especially this.” You wave the marker in front of his face.

“You just kissed me in a fit of panic. That’s the first time I’ve seen someone respond to panic this way.” Jaehyun looks a little too smug.

“What are you implying?” 

“You wanted to kiss me.”

You scoff. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” 

You want to knock the smile right off his face but you stick to flicking his forehead, his yell of surprise satisfying. This Friday night was supposed to get better. In fact, you are going to make it better if life won’t. The soju won’t drink itself and you deem that Soojin has had enough. 

Ignoring Dongmin’s confused look, you order far too many soju shots to be considered healthy. As you promised yourself, you are going to make this Friday better.

//

You just had to go and get drunk. Jaehyun stares at you, blinking slowly and wondering just how much you can embarrass yourself before it becomes a burden for him. He has to get you home; you’re practically a matching set now. But are the halves of a pair supposed to take care of the other when they get drunk?

“You know what, guys?” You announce, standing up abruptly and immediately getting pulled back to your seat by Jaehyun. It doesn’t stop your mouth however.

“I hate the stupid system,” you continue. “To tell the truth—”

He smacks his hand over your mouth. Jaehyun has had enough of the silent mini heart attacks you give him. The rest look at him with puzzled looks and he can’t even bring himself to give them a polite smile before dragging you out of the bar. The night breeze is cold enough—maybe it’ll sober you up.

"You're so annoying, Jaehyun," you mutter, massaging your forehead. "Did you know that?"

Or maybe it won’t.

"Never heard that before."

"How do you always keep to yourself and still be the center of attention?" You cling to his arm for balance. 

"Have you considered that maybe a polite man isn't as scheming as you think he is?"

You curl your lips. "Stop using big sentences. I hate that I barely know you, and I know everyone."

Jaehyun purses his lips. "You just enjoy the power that comes with figuring people out. Don't you?"

"Whatever you say. I want life to be a nice and smooth ride but then again, I can't even face my soulmate." You let out an airy laugh. "I didn't really need one though."

Jaehyun laughs in disbelief. "You look like you're dying of loneliness."

"Ooh, that's a big claim, Yoonoh."

"You say I keep to myself but what about you? You like hiding, don't you?"

You laugh. "Is this the part where I say we're nothing alike?"

He purses his lips, shaking his head in dismissal. He's just tired of chit-chat with someone who smells like she robbed a liquor store in Itaewon.

“You must think I’m some sort of selfish, vapid, work-obsessed overachiever,” you continue, tilting your head with a blank look in your eyes.

“Well, not exac—”

“But guess what? Your opinions are invalid, Jung Yoonoh. You’re just some chump from marketing. A very good-looking chump but still.”

Jaehyun swears under his breath as you fling your arms open in the same manner a speech-giving patriot fighting for freedom would. Unfortunately, the freedom struggle is private in this day and age, and you just smacked him in the nose instead.

You sigh deeply and he looks at you again, warily now as he holds his nose.

“You’re not exactly wrong either. I’m so empty. Like a bottle of soju with no soju. Could you bring me some?”

Jaehyun massages his temples and solidifies his resolve. He’s had enough stares from people on the sidewalk. With delicate concern, he holds you up with one arm around your waist, balancing your weight evenly so you can stand. Promptly, you bury your face into his neck and an embarrassing, high-pitched squeak evades the filter of his mouth. You’re just so adept at making his days (and nights) worse.

Jaehyun tries his best to carry you to the parking lot without any signs of struggle but good lord, are you uncooperative. Once he’s down lugging you to the passenger seat, he breathes out in relief at long last and makes sure you don’t fold in over yourself dozing off the seat. Getting you to sit up, he finds himself smiling the slightest bit at your smudged lipstick. Even like this, you’re quite pretty. 

Realizing what thought came over him, he shakes his head vigorously as if he’s committing a horrible crime. He just has to get you home—Soojin had texted him the address prior to the outing just in case—and then he can go back to pretending whatever he even is supposed to.

The sports event is really just HR and Management trying to one-up the other in a more quantitative way. You’re not really fond of the sweat and heavy breathing that comes with physical exertion if it’s for the sake of competition. Competition is such a childish, masculine way of handling things, especially emotions.

HR is leading in wins, however and that means you have something to rub in Jaehyun’s face. You hate participating but you’re not allowed to opt out without a medical certificate. At least one competition, and you had to choose the three-legged race. All these potential partners, and Dongmin had to choose you.

“I’ll win,” you tell Jaehyun, stopping by him once you exit the changing room. The indoor stadium is usually a recreational facility for senior employees but on sports day, it’s closer to a gladiator arena. The seats are green and occupied by grinning employees, most of them glad for a day off but also upset they don’t get to attend their personal affairs in it.

Jaehyun stops himself from rolling his eyes. “Shouldn’t it be a ‘we’? You need a partner. Oh, are you sad you can’t pick me?”

“Not at all.” You cross your arms, annoyed at his mock pity. 

Right then, Dongmin jogs up to you in a blue tracksuit. His hair sticks to his forehead because unlike you, he takes sports very seriously. Jaehyun, on the other hand, just seems to enjoy the competition. As a guilty pleasure, you’d like to see the two of them compete one day. That would be a competition worth betting on.

“I’ll have to borrow your soulmate.” Dongmin laughs. “The race is starting.”

Life strikes again with its poorly timed irony.

“Don’t mind me,” Jaehyun says politely.

The race is easier than you thought it would be considering most of the other employees struggle with teamwork. You’re the HR team for a reason. But then again, you feel a certain hollowness pervade you while you’re pressed to Dongmin’s side. Wouldn’t it be nice?

All you can think is that Dongmin and you are perfectly in sync. The realization comes off as sad despite your victory and the wide grins on both of your faces. 

Jaehyun purses his lips and gives the two of you a nonchalant look. He’s avoided getting caught in the changing room quite well. For some reason, he’s glad that you’re winning but also dissatisfied about it. He would certainly feel different if he were participating in that race, wouldn’t he? He would win. Losing a competition is a huge blow to his ego. Lately, he seems to be losing a lot of races. The two of you have been growing closer and he doesn’t mind late night discussions about flawed systems and childhood memories; but the fact that you’re growing on him is something for him to be on edge about. He’s never felt so close to someone, and still so far.

“Oh, they have good chemistry, don’t they?” Doyoung comments beside Jaehyun, before taking a sip from his bottle.

“What chemistry?” Jaehyun snaps and Doyoung almost chokes on the water.

“Chill out, man.” Doyoung eyes Jaehyun’s figure in concern. “She’s like officially yours.”

Jaehyun refuses in a series of sputtering responses. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not jealous. I’m not that kind of man.”

“I didn’t paint you as that kind of man either,” Doyoung mutters before speaking up. “But love, Jaehyun. Love’s a weird thing.”

Jaehyunn ignores his comment and walks down to the grounds, jogging up to you. He immediately forgets to say anything at all. Smooth move, Yoonoh.

You just stick out your tongue at him subtly.

“I told you we’d win,” you say.

Jaehyun crosses his arms. “Congratulations. I thought you, quote, hate this stupid competition for dunces.”

You clear your throat and Dongmin laughs beside you. Before he can offer his bottle, Jaehyun offers his own in a rush. You raise an eyebrow but don’t question it.

“You guys really are a perfect pair.” Dongmin laughs. “Sometimes I wish Mijoo was my soulmate.”

You give him a pitiful smile. There go your happy feelings of victory.

“But I’m happy this way.” Dongmin nudges your shoulder with his. “Don’t give me that look.”

That is not the look he thinks you were giving. You smile. 

“What about this? We can go on a double date! Those are fun, right?” Dongmin muses, crossing his arms.

“No,” you and Jaehyun refuse in a panic, and Dongmin blinks in confusion at the overwhelming response.

“I'm more of a homebody,” you explain.

“Yeah, me too,” Jaehyun agrees.

It makes Dongmin laugh aloud. “Oh, fate didn’t go wrong with the two of you.”

Your smile wavers. Did it go so wrong with you and Dongmin? Jaehyun’s hand brushes yours and you look at him. A perfect side profile and flushed hot cheeks with dimples to die for. You wouldn’t mind being in love with him. You don’t mind love much at all. 

Shaking off the thought, you watch as Dongmin leaves the two of you to run to the changing rooms. Eyeing Jaehyun’s red team sweatshirt with “Management” in big typography over the chest, you look back up to his face. 

“Why did you jog over here so desperately?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “Jealous?”

“Yes. I am irreparably in love with you.”

He leans in quickly and you flinch, making his dimples show up.

“Asshole,” you curse. “I’ll file you for harassment. Don’t do that again.”

“Isn’t it harassment when you feel me up while you draw—” Jaehyun leans in to whisper. “—the soulmark?” 

“I would never have my hands near your greasy existence if I could,” you huff, scandalized. 

But the thing is, Jaehyun is getting better at this game of flustering each other and you don’t like it one bit.

“Hey, you know Dongmin’s girlfriend?” he asks suddenly. 

You nod. “Kind of. I’ve seen her pictures on Instagram.”

Jaehyun pauses before humming in realization.

You cough. “Not that I was stalking them or something. Obviously.”

Jaehyun gives you a knowing smile but doesn’t question anything, much to your aggravation. It would’ve been better if you had a chance to prove you weren’t stalking them but then again, that is exactly what you were doing.

“Well, we went to the same college. Same major too.”

“Are you serious? Wait, how do you know? Does this mean you stalked their Instagram too?”

“Too?”

“Shut up.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

“She’s not exactly the evil homewrecker type,” he says.

“I know that,” you snap. If anything, you feel like the evil homewrecker even if Dongmin’s supposed to be your soulmate.

They’re so reckless. Jaehyun was right—you do blame them in a way. They don’t care who they trample under their nauseating parade of romance. But then again, that parade is better than a personal rejection.

“I’m just saying… don't hold it against them.”

“I don’t remember asking for advice, Jung Yoonoh.”

Jaehyun shrugs, dropping the issue. The preparations for the next race is starting and it has something to do with passing balls from basket to basket—you get bored already when you see Doyoung stretch before shaking hands with Taeyong.

“Wanna get ice-cream? We funded the food truck this year.” Jaehyun looks expectantly at you.

“Sure.” 

You contemplate holding his hand for a moment but let that thought bury itself. You don’t have to pretend right now. 

Much to your despair (or delight) however, Jaehyun takes your hand absentmindedly as he walks towards the exit. It’s not that you’ve never held hands before, it’s just that Jaehyun’s skin is soft against yours.

“I can’t believe you and Mijoo were in the same course.”

It seems she’s ahead of you in every direction you look to tread on. Of course, you will not be telling Jaehyun that. You don’t exactly feel jealousy—can’t feel jealousy when your life is perfect as it is. And for Jaehyun? You hate to admit it but you’d trade places with Mijoo any day.

“Well, she didn’t really like socializing back then so I didn’t know we were in the same program either.”

You chuckle, glancing down at your intertwined fingers despite your best efforts. It feels nice like this. It feels nice to be wanted by someone—even if it’s a lie.

“Do you think- Do you think they’re brave?” You ask. “They didn’t even hesitate to disregard the system.”

“I think people in love are always brave.”

You hum, looking down at your feet. All the more reason the system fucked up. You were never even supposed to be partnered up. You’re not brave—the face you put on is. The idea of love seems to get further and further away from you.

Just then, Jaehyun tugs at your hand, walking slightly faster and making you complain as you jog to catch up with his long strides. The food truck is fairly large, on the street outside to the stadium entrance. February is catching up with its heat and you curse at global warming for this hot winter day.

“You can take up to five scoops of different flavours,” he informs you, grinning sheepishly. “I guess the cups aren’t large enough for beyond that.”

“I didn’t know you were this passionate about ice-cream,” you say.

“Sicheng rubbed off on me.”

You laugh. IT must have given Sicheng enough stress to develop a sweet tooth. You love the HR Department when you look at the others in your company.

Jaehyun has a nice smile. You don’t know why you think that but you do and now you can’t focus on anything apart from the pink dust sprinkled over his cheeks and the handsome dimples that accompany. You don’t want to stare but clearly, Jaehyun must have been blessed by some divide being if not for fate. Maybe he’s a mess up like you. As far as you know, his soulmate doesn’t exist. That little red heart is so simple that none of the soulmate designs match it.

A rather repulsing part of you is happy about it. You like the feel of Jaehyun’s hands. You like the way he looks at you. You wouldn’t mind it if he were yours.  

Jaehyun’s house is as cosy as his mother makes you feel. It’s been a while since you’ve been home and if you were perhaps less emotionally constipated, you would have tears welling up in your eyes. There’s quite a few relatives too but then again, every Asian family jumps at the chance to celebrate something as mediocre as engagements and marriage and soulmate findings. Apparently, hormones are perfectly fine to them once you’re not teenagers anymore.

This isn’t so bad. What was so scary about meeting parents again? Jaehyun’s dad did challenge you with a questionnaire but lucky for you, you know exactly how interviews work. You’ve got enough information on Jaehyun from the man himself for this visit. The briefing he gave you was boring though; you already know what you need to know about Jaehyun.

You sit at the table, while most of the other guests work in the kitchen. Jaehyun’s mother asks you questions about your life, friendly and welcoming in every way possible. Mothers are truly god-sent. You wonder how she produced someone as far from divine as Jaehyun. (Except in looks, perhaps.)

You say that out loud and get a sharp quip from Jaehyun, his mother’s eyes lighting up at your childish interaction.

“Oh my, fate is never wrong!” She remarks with a wide smile. “I’ve never seen Jaehyun open up so much with anyone before. He was such a shy boy in school, you know? All the girls would send letters and confessions and he would just turn red in the face.”

“Mom.” He smiles all too sweet at her but you can see the panic in his eyes.

She rolls her eyes before turning to you. “Darling, you have no idea how proud I feel to see him this at ease. I was honestly getting tired of all the ‘your son is so polite and well-mannered’ comments. Some bickering ought to do him good.”

“Mom,” he repeats, straightening. “I think auntie needs some help setting up the table.”

“Don’t shoo me away yet. I have to tell (name) about the time you were elected class representative in middle school. And all those sports and acting awards.”

“You don’t have to advertise me, Mom,” he says, dropping his face into his hands to rub at his eyes, already growing tired. “I’m already- I’m already hers.”

His mother coos and apart from the expected deep red flush on Jaehyun’s skin, you find yourself feeling hot in the face too. Jaehyun’s aunt calls for his mother right then and you watch as she makes her way to the kitchen entrance, the two women glancing at you and giggling to each other over some shared words.

Jaehyun takes the opportunity to grab your hand and walk away to a more obscure part of the house upstairs. With significantly less relatives, it should be a good hiding spot unless discovered by his giggling cousins that he refuses to introduce you to. 

“Aw, what a shy baby,” you coo, smiling at the thought of a younger, easily-flustered Jaehyun.

His ears are bright red and you think that he’s still easily flustered. He just doesn’t show it much anymore—there’s only one dead giveaway.

“Forget everything my mom said,” he instructs. “It’s not important information.”

“Oh, no, darling. Your mother is a gold mine of vital information. You know what? I’m going to go chat her up right now. I’m sure you were quite the teenage dream I should know about.”

Jaehyun grips your wrist before you can escape, pulling your closer.

“Don’t.”

You don’t know if it’s the proximity or the fact that there are most definitely a few family members that could walk in right now—but you find yourself embarrassed as you look at his face. It’s very pleasant, handsome even, and the strands of his hair look irresistibly soft from this distance. You reach your hand out and brush the hair out of his eyes, almost instinctively. 

“You have nice eyes, Jaehyun,” you say out loud, not sure why. He doesn’t fluster this time but it makes you all the more aware of your nearness.

Your eyes glance at the bottom of the staircase to see a little girl, around nine, hiding from behind the wall that separates the dining room and the kitchen. You return your gaze to Jaehyun with a smirk.

"We should kiss right now. Your little cousin's watching."

Jaehyun looks mildly disgusted. "Why would I want to kiss you in front of my cousin?"

You roll your eyes. “You don't get it, do you? The fastest way to convince a family is through rumours.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "So?"

"Oh my god, you're an idiot. Nosy cousins are the most effective way to spread rumours."

"Ah." Jaehyun looks enlightened enough for you to continue.

"Okay, but first you need to have these mints." You take out the emergency mints from your purse.

"What? I don't need mints. I have nice smelling breath.”

"Everyone needs mints, Jaehyun. Especially men."

Jaehyun sighs heavily. You take the opportunity to grab his wrist and pull him into a corner. 

"Have this mint or else."

You hold his face between your thumb and forefingers, cheeks squishing under the pressure as you force a mint in. He lets you do it for some reason, looking lost as he gazes at you. 

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh my, you're enjoying this. Pervert."

"Wha—what? You have to stop thinking you're hot shit, oh my god. I just got distracted for a bit."

"By me, right?"

"No! I just zoned ou—you're enjoying this."

You bite down your smile but a giggle escapes you anyway. Jaehyun rolls his eyes though he smiles, looking far too close to irresistible when his dimples show.

"You can't keep teasing me," he says, voice low.

"I've been doing it for two years. I'm pretty sure I can do it for at least two more."

Jaehyun scoffs, laughing at your statement. "You know what? I'm going to get back at you from now on. I've been so lenient."

You snort before pressing the back of your fingers to your nose. "You? You're going to get back at me? You’re good at lip service, Jaehyun."

“Huh. You might be right about that.”

There's a beat of silence and you look at him expectantly. In the next beat of your heart (or lack thereof), he cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours, surprising the life out of you as your back hits the wall. It's not just a touch either, his mouth moves over yours and when your knees feel weak, you reluctantly admit that the rumour about Jung Yoonoh being a good kisser is true. Maybe his body count isn't a lower-end single digit after all.

He pulls apart with a short smile tugging at his lips. "Satisfied?"

You sputter out a response before clearing your throat. “I- I don’t think anyone really saw us in this corner.”

Jaehyun makes a low humming sound. “Or you could just say you want me to kiss you again? I know I’m a good kisser.”

“Fuck off.” You punch his chest, eliciting a quiet grunt from him.

You move away from him, peeking from behind the wall. Oh, she saw it alright. The giggling gives it away and the fact that a few more younger cousins have gathered. This is ridiculous. The fact that you wouldn’t mind more is even worse.

You turn back to Jaehyun with steel-set eyes. “No more kissing. Ever. Never again. Kissing is officially banned.”

Jaehyun looks perplexed. “I thought that was a good kiss. Did you not enjoy it? What do you mean no kissing?”

“And I take it back.” The heat on your face is still burning steadily. 

“Oh, I see. You liked it so much that you’re embarrassed.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass.”

“So I’m right?”

You roll your eyes and quickly walk down the stairs, a few words of complaint left hanging in the air as Jaehyun follows behind, stumbling over the steps.

Jaehyun likes how comfortable this is. He doesn’t mind glaring daggers at each other but this is fun too. It’s like he doesn’t have to be careful about the lines he might be crossing—there aren’t any damn lines at all. He can’t call it love, at least not by definition, but something is there. Something that is solid enough and heavy enough. Something he would be ready to hold on to.

You laugh at a joke Jaehyun’s dad makes. A family is the only place to feel at home. It might not be yours but maybe at the end of the night, you can convince them to disown Jaehyun and adopt you as their child instead. His cousins seem to be interested in the same things you were as a high schooler and it surprised you. Your job lets you advise the older cousins in a fairly friendly fashion. The little ones seem to like your dress and you find them far too adorable with their pink cheeks and dimples, much like Jaehyun’s. Speaking of which, he definitely got them from his dad. You look around and wonder how Jaehyun has so many female cousins and not an inkling about how women work. 

It doesn’t hurt anymore that Dongmin discarded you so recklessly.

He’s wrong. Jaehyun’s wrong. It doesn’t hurt—didn’t hurt right now at the very least. When Jaehyun kissed you, you didn’t think of Dongmin or his girlfriend or anyone else. You thought that Jaehyun’s skin is somehow always the right temperature. 

You shake your head. Jaehyun drives your getaway car and you shouldn’t get too comfortable in its worn-out leather seats. This shouldn’t be any different to you; you aren’t supposed to find love in every corner. This was all a survival instinct. 

The more stories Jaehyun’s mother shares with you over dinner, the more you find it comfortable to be here. You don’t feel this welcome in your own apartment (although, there isn’t exactly anyone else living there but you and the goddamn pigeon that wakes you up at six in the morning). The more the night progresses, the more you want to believe in this lie. Jaehyun glances at you from time to time, his gaze neither uncomfortable nor harsh and you smile at him when he does. Right now, there is no loneliness and the air is warm and smells of freshly cooked food; the way familial love works is such a mystery. You feel content.

“Why are we doing this again?” you lean in and ask Jaehyun, eyes focused on the TV as he tries to fix it.

“Because I need to get out of work, and fulfilled soulmates get a day off on Valentine’s day.”

You nod. “Your apartment kind of stinks. I feel sorry for Sicheng.”

“This is clean,” he defends, pointing at the lack of any visible mess in his room. His work table, however, has too many items scattered over it to be called neat. There’s a fairly large TV attached to the wall and you’re a little jealous about it. You only ever watch shows on your (quite beloved albeit small) laptop. The blinds aren’t fully closed, the evening city lights trying their best to pry their pervasive fingers in and add something more to the peach hue of Jaehyun’s room.

The doorbell rings just in estimated time for food delivery, a sigh leaving your mouth along with a ‘finally’. His place is strangely comfortable and much less of the war zone that you expected. There’s no reason to feel awkward, really, or even the bubbling in your stomach. You’re not seventeen, in your crush’s house. Jaehyun isn’t even someone you like that way.

It’s just two friends hanging out and watching a movie and doing other friendly activities. Two friends hanging out on Valentine's day. Two friends who have kissed more than once.

What do lovers do anyway?

This thing with Jaehyun has turned into clandestine smiles at the office building, subtle texts of ‘did you eat?’ and ‘good morning, idiot’, racing hearts at brushing hands on the occasional off-work hangouts (you refuse to call them “dates”) and overall, a lot more pink hearts floating over his head when you see him. It’s positively appalling. 

You don’t mind it one bit.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” The delivery man wishes as he leaves and you feel a sudden rage bubble up in you. 

“Ah, does he think every couple celebrates Valentine’s day? And just because we’re in the same apartment means we’re a couple? Wow.” You cross your arms, scoffing. “Who’s he to wish me?”

“Why… Why are you getting mad?” Jaehyun asks quietly, slightly confused.

You glare at him, your anger not quite dissipated and walk back into his room, placing the box of confectionaries on the bedside table with a loud thud. Jaehyun follows, placing the drinks rather clumsily beside it. He gives you one last look of concern before settling down on his bed.

You let out another huff of complaint.

"Does everything have to be heart-shaped?"

You stare at the nauseating display of baked goods delivered in a pretty heart-shaped box. The brownie is in a clear plastic box that has a tiny bouquet of hearts atop it, the coffee cups have heart stickers around the rim, and the pastry itself is heart-shaped or rather, two halves of a heart. One of them is strawberry pink and the other chocolate brown.

“You seem… suddenly fired up,” Jaehyun comments quietly.

You don’t really care if you look crazy to him right now; he’s already seen the worse parts of you. You’re just so annoyed at all this red and pink that was delivered. Aren’t cafes supposed to stick with that beige-cream palette? 

While you contemplate, Jaehyun tears the little sugar packet and attempts to open the lid of the cup at the same time, your blood pressure rising at the sight because you were half sure he’d spill the drink. After much difficulty, he shakes the packet trying to get just enough sugar but of course, like the clumsy oaf he is, he misses almost entirely, spilling sugar over his coffee table. It’s oddly endearing but that’s a thought you’ll keep to yourself.

He turns to you with a sheepish grin and you give him a look of distaste.

“You are a sorry excuse of a person, Jaehyun.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t mess this up.”

You turn to look him in the eyes, the honey shade alluring under warm apartment lights. They really are pretty. 

“I, and every other sane human being, would not mess up adding sugar to a cup of coffee.”

“You faltered for a moment there.”

That was not the reason you faltered. You roll your eyes and look away, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste.

“How do you even like Americanos? Don’t you like a bit of cream and sweetness?”

 “I don’t really care for bitterness,” he answers.

“Wow, you must be a masochist.”

“And it’s quite obvious you’re a sadist.”

You snicker. “That makes us quite the pair.”

“I would like that sentence in a non-BDSM context, thank you.”

Jaehyun turns on the TV and the Netflix logo animation pops up. You raise an eyebrow at his ‘Continue Watching’ list, eyeing Bridegerton and Sweet Home, and wondering if he could be any more of an enigma. You can’t possibly figure him out at this point. You groan when he picks a title.

“Ugh. Do we have to watch a romantic comedy?”

“What? They’re funny. And I thought you liked those 2000’s movies.”

You believed in unicorns and sock goblins and love back then too. These days, you hate to see other people in love, especially when it’s fake. The movies you loved are now the movies you hate. The couples you eyed with delight at parks and cafes are now the bane of your existence. In fact, you’d go as far as to say that you enjoy the digital fireworks from a couple having a massive online breakup. Things falling apart are entertaining when it’s not happening to you.

You purse your lips. Can't you see other people happy without wanting to tear it down for yourself?

“Fine. But I’ll pick the 2000’s romcom.”

Jaehyun shrugs and hands over the remote. You see Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds on the poster and click on it immediately. The Proposal has a good enough comedy to romance ratio, in your opinion.

“I’m kind of surprised you came,” he says quietly.

“Why?” You raise an eyebrow. “Is it because of the suggestive nature of visiting someone’s apartment on Valentine’s day? Did you think we’d be doing something… more fun?”

You lean in and bat your eyelashes suggestively, although you’re clearly joking.

“I think you should know better than to get mouthy with me,” he answers as he leans in further, making your heartbeat hike at the proximity. Maybe he’s figured you out. Wouldn’t it be so nice to figure each other out at the same time—like puzzle pieces fitting together?

You move away from him. “Well, it’s not like I can go anywhere else. And I didn’t want to stay in my own apartment.”

“Maybe you enjoy my company?”

“Look, I would be sipping my coffee at a perfectly aesthetic cafe if it weren’t Valentine’s day.”

He raises an eyebrow at your nonsensical declaration and you sigh, trying to explain yourself.

“Cafes just terrorize the single folk on Valentine’s day. You should always go with Netflix,” you say.

“And chill?”

“Do you even know what that means?”

“As I’ve told you so many times, I am not stupid.”

You inhale, an idea presenting itself.  

“Hey, since we’re technically a couple, shouldn’t you be sharing your Netflix password with me?” you ask, pressing your lips into your cutest smile.

“No.”

“You’re so stingy,” you mutter. It was worth a shot.

Jaehyun laughs, your hand reaching out to poke his dimples but you stop yourself. You weren’t supposed to get this comfortable. This wasn’t your place to be. Lost in thought, the moving screen leaves you unfazed and you can’t look at him anymore. However, Jaehyun reaches out right then and wipes at the space beside your lips, your focus lifting from the beginning scenes of The Proposal and latching onto Jaehyun’s lips.

There’s a pause, your head clearing itself of thoughts when you make eye contact with him. Soft hair, doe eyes, full lips and dimples—he’s so damn attractive, it hurts your existence. Does he have to be this close to you? You have mixed feelings about that look in his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers suddenly.

“Yes,” you answer.

If you look from a rational point of view, you should not have said that. You should have said anything but that. But you don’t want to think right now. Jaehyun’s touch is warm over your skin as his hand rests under your jaw and the other on your waist.

You should not have said that. But you feel loved.

Somewhere along, you find yourself parting only to kiss again, the feeling of skin so delightful in a way you’ve never experienced. Your shirt hikes up and you see Jaehyun eye the little heart with the arrow—the sign you so despised with a gentle smile.

“It’s pretty,” he whispers.

It’s pretty but it isn’t his. He doesn’t have to look at you like that—he’s come a long way from nervous glances and now he’s the one making you nervous. Just say it isn’t love and it will be alright.

You part, sobering up for a moment and you disentangle your limbs to sit at the side of his bed.

“What’s- What’s wrong?” Jaehyun whispers.

You exhale.

“All my life, I wait and when it comes, it’s all wrong,” you say, staring at your lap. Self-pity is the most disgusting kind of pity to feel. You’re past crying at things like this. You’re past crying for an ounce of romance, every time you listen to a love song on the radio or look at an Instagram post of a couple or pass by lovers on the sidewalk content with each other. You don’t even have cats to return home to. Modern loneliness is wearing you down but you can’t believe in fairytales anymore.

He scoffs, smiling bitterly. “I don’t even know if this is worth losing my dignity over.”

“Jaehyun—”

“We can’t pretend anymore—I can’t pretend anymore,” Jaehyun exhales. “I want you enough to forget the system. Give me an answer. Please.”

You don’t mind forgetting the system right now. Jaehyun’s lips are always the right temperature; the warmth of his body seeps through his shirt as you press yourself to him in a hug. He’s perfect and right now, you want to believe he’s perfect for you—even if he isn’t, you want to believe it into existence.

You cup Jaehyun’s cheeks, unsaid emotion in his doe eyes, and kiss him. This time, you mean it with every ounce of your being. There’s no more flustering each other, just the hot flush of intimacy when you feel skin that doesn’t burn you. It’s just the right feeling. There’s no way this can be wrong. 

Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? You wish the voice would pipe down. It’s a coward, fearing fate just as everyone else does. But you are better than that, and this feeling is too enjoyable to let go. You don’t want this to fade.

Just then, Dongmin’s face comes to mind and you think that maybe if you kiss someone else with all you have, you don’t have to think of your shortcomings ever again.

Jaehyun pulls apart and you miss the warmth.

“You’re not… You’re not thinking of me, are you?” he asks. 

You don’t answer, even if the silence is overwhelming.

“I’d rather not have you close your eyes and think of someone else when I’m in front of you.”

“I’m sorry” is all you can say.

“You can at least pretend to love me.” His voice is a hoarse whisper. “Could. It’s not like this was ever supposed to work out.”

You gulp, looking away. “Jaehyun, come on. That’s not like you. We were- we were just… having fun.”

He takes a deep breath. “It hurts to not be wanted by someone you want. You know that. So why are you doing this to me?”

Because misery likes company.

“I’m sorry.”

It seems the phrase you barely uttered when you were younger is tumbling out of your lips in a mixture of grief and pity. Perhaps it’s karma. Perhaps it’s fate. Perhaps it’s just the consequences of your mistakes.

Jaehyun parts his lips, a sigh departing. He leans in again, pushing away all of his thoughts. A little more hurt won't kill him tonight. How and when did you bring him down to his knees?

However, he's stopped by your hands against his shoulders, his lips hovering over yours.

"Let's stop," you say. "You're right."

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

“I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”

You wish you could be brave enough to burn the instruction pamphlet from destiny. But right now, you need to get away from Jaehyun, away from any more misery business.

“I’ll get going,” you say, gathering your stuff. 

Jaehyun hesitates but doesn’t stop you. He would never stop you, can’t stop so how could he even dream of stopping fate? This can never work out. It felt right in the moment but you don’t know anything more than that. You can’t close your eyes and pray everything disappears. No one else will solve your problems for you, you know that.

It’s time you start fixing the mess you made. You leave with a polite goodbye and hear a loud sigh behind you once the door is closed. Blinking away the urge to walk back in, you take long and quick strides to the elevator. You’re going to fix this.

Maybe if Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ wasn’t blasting at full volume at this stupid office party, you could be thinking a little straighter.

He was right. You can’t pretend anymore. There were thousands of ways this could have gone better. You didn’t have to pretend to be soulmates when you’re not. You could’ve discarded your belief in the whole system like Dongmin and Mijoo and dated someone out of spite. You didn’t have to drag Jaehyun into your sorry mess. You need to take out the nail you hammered into your own foot.

It’s the first time you’ve visited the rooftop restaurant from the company’s subsidiary chain of high-end restaurants but you imagined it would be bigger. It’s the news’ fault for making this place seem like a football field. However, you might be feeling that way because the distance between you and Jaehyun is suffocatingly small as is the distance with Dongmin. You don’t need to see Jaehyun tonight.

You don’t intend to make your confession a public affair and you certainly don’t believe in tack things like atonement. However, improvement begins with a step in the right direction. Maybe you’ll be a better person after this. Maybe you’ll still be as annoying and pushy as ever. You need to get it off your chest so you can proceed with the already tedious journey that comes with a soulmate rejection. You wonder why there’s so many man-made laws about soulmates when fate has made it complicated enough as it is. Love is the same as legalese when it comes to this system.

You flit about the crowds, smiling and greeting people and swerving away from Jaehyun every time he tries to approach you. You’re trying to make a good decision for once. He better not intrude. You’re wearing pink too, for the first time in a while: a satin shirt, pants and blazer set in dull pink.

“Dongmin,” you say, pulling him by the sleeve of his blue tux, and away from the rest of the HR team. “I have to show you something.”

“Hm? Show me?” He blinks at you. 

You get him to follow you to the inside the premises, stopping when you’re far into a 

“Uh?” Dongmin looks around before leaning in to whisper. “You’re not plotting to murder me, are you?”

You blink, and he laughs at you incredulously. “Why are you so serious?”

“I was lying,” you rush. “With Jaehyun. He’s not my soulmate. You are.”

Dongmin blinks in confusion. “Are… you joking? That was a weird joke but it could pass as funny—”

“Dongmin.”

You pull out your shirt from your pants, exposing the tattoo on your hip. It’s the little arrowed heart that has been plaguing you for years but now when you look at it, you feel no animosity. After all, it’s been through the same things you have. 

Dongmin’s face falls into stunned silence, eyes fixated on your waist.

“That’s- That’s my—what is this?”

Russian roulette is certainly not the same without a gun.

“I lied, Dongmin,” you answer, fixing your shirt back in. “I was so afraid of your rejection that I made an even larger fool of myself.”

His initial shock seems to have partly subsided.

“You… Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks momentarily hurt.

“You have Mijoo, Dongmin. I can’t ruin something like that.”

A love that doesn’t need fate to fix it.

Dongmin glances away in guilt and sighs, though the sound is croaky. This must be more than what he can take.

“I’m sorry,” he says, haltingly. “I hurt you, didn’t I? When I thought I was being brave, I hurt you instead.”

You smile bitterly. “We all hurt someone, Dongmin. I still have to fix that one for myself.”

He scans your face, lips trembling slightly as unspoken words die on them.

“We’ll tend to the legal stuff later, hm? No compensation. We can file a mutual rejection.”

“But—”

“Shh. I’m happy enough as coworkers and I get paid more than enough for this job. Might get a promotion soon too.”

You wink at him with an added finger gun, trying to play it cool. Despite everything, a weight feels lifted from your shoulders. Now that you are truly alone, you might as well embrace this growing loneliness crawling under your skin. Discomfort could be something you can get used to. 

When you get back to the warmly lit rooftop, the HR team looks at you curiously. You have the most self-destructive thought you’ve had in a while and tell yourself, you might as well if you've come this far. This is it. This is your social death. Honesty is the best policy, unfortunately.

“Dongmin and I have the same soulmate mark,” you announce. “We’re soulmates but we’ll sign a mutual rejection.”

Doyoung looks almost like he’ll faint and Soojin’s mouth is so wide open, you could practice throwing some mini basketballs in. This is your team—almost a second family, and it’s time you stop trying to hide yourself or disguise your feelings as something they’re not. They’ll get over it, as will you.

“J-Jaehyun?” Soojin looks to your side and you turn to find Jaehyun frowning.

“You could’ve discussed this with me,” he says, an odd sound of relief in his laugh. 

It hurts to look at him but you muster up your strength.

“I’m sorry,” you say, facing him. “I didn’t want to drag you into this hell with me.”

Into this loveless hell made for you.

“(name).”

It’s so painfully quiet in this corner; there are so many eyes on you and only the hurt taking shape in Jaehyun’s eyes knock some sense into you. 

“I’ll leave first,” you say, bowing as you take your leave.

You brisk up your pace and exit the venue as quickly as you can and into the building corridor.

Unfortunately for you, you recognize the pair of footsteps that follow you—both of them having their timings wrong. Boys don’t chase after the girl when she’s walking away. Boys should leave a girl alone when she feels like she’s about to cry.

You turn to face two men and groan internally. This is the worst possible situation—you’d rather crawl into a hole than look at either of them. The corporate light shines harshly on either of their faces but the look on them is so earnest, you want to close your eyes and scream. You don’t mind being alone. You were overstepping when you wished you weren’t.

“(name),” Dongmin starts. “I’m sorry it turned out this way. If you’d told me, we could have talked this out.”

A light scoff leaves Jaehyun and Dongmin purses his lips. It’s kind of funny watching both of their tall frames in hesitant postures and you cross your arms. You’re going to deal with this quickly like you always should have. If you’re dealing with fate, you need to have a clear head—and fortune doesn’t favour fools. Being with Jaehyun was nice but he is not yours. Dongmin may have been assigned to you but you’d rather not ruin someone’s relationship.

“What would we have talked about?” you ask. “Compensation charges? Apologies?”

You see a hint of positivity on Jaehyun’s face and turn to face him, frowning.

“And you. Don’t look so smug. You’re the reason I realized this crap. It hurts. Like hell.”

He opens his mouth but no words come when he’s far too taken aback. He can’t offer consolation now, not after everything. You knew this would happen. You would undoubtedly end up wishing you didn’t fall in love with him on the day you leave.

“(name). Listen to me,” Dongmin calls again, voice gentle.

Jaehyun sighs. “We’re both fucking this up, dude.”

Dongmin takes a sharp breath.

“You know, soulmates can be platonic,” he reasons, looking only at you. “People are made for each other differently and maybe you and I—”

“You’re just making her feel worse,” Jaehyun cuts him off.

“How do you know that?” Dongmin asks, finally turning to him. “Because you’ve spent a month or two with her? I’m her soulmate.”

“I think a month or two is much better than a stranger with the same damn birthmark.”

“Oh come on,” Dongmin scoffs. “The system exists for a reason.”

“I don’t give a shit about the system. The same as your girlfriend—oh, sorry, did you forget about her already?”

“It’s not like that.” Dongmin quietens. “We’ll figure something out.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. They’re worse than you are—honestly, you don’t know what you expected from the timid emotional maturity of men. Both of their polite facades have melted and you’re starting to miss their sweet-tempered work demeanour.

“Come with me,” Dongmin tells you.

He wraps his hand around your wrist and tugs, Jaehyun visibly tensing up at the gesture. He presses his tongue against his cheek in annoyance but refrains from doing anything rash. You feel sorry when you look at him.

“Dongmin,” you whisper. “Can we- can we have a moment?”

Dongmin nods in understanding and exits the hallway to cool off with a few splashes of water in the washroom.

“Would you go with him?” Jaehyun asks, jaw clenched. “An acquaintance as most? Are you willing to run into the arms of fate that you hated so much?”

He looks bitter and you can’t think of a sugar-coated response. You’ll just have to tell him how you feel.

“I need to sort things out, Jaehyun. This—”

You point from him to yourself.

“Couldn’t work out thanks to fate. Dongmin and I will never work out because he’s braver than I am. You know he’s doing all of that just so I don’t get hurt, right? He’s not suddenly in love with me.”

Jaehyun purses his lips, looking down to his feet. Is it so bad that he let jealousy get the best of his mouth? Envy isn’t so awful. He looks from your eyes to lips and wishes he were young enough to believe in fairytales.

“You don’t have to be brave,” he whispers. “You don’t have to be so brave to fall in love. You don’t have to be brave to stay with me.”

“We tried, Jaehyun. And we can’t cheat fate. That, at the very least, requires bravery.” 

You press your lips into a thin line. It hurts. It hurts so bad to look at him and face the consequences of this flawed design. It’s unfair. It’s unfair that you have to follow the rules even after trying your best to break them. 

“You wish you never met me, don’t you?” you whisper. “I made a mess.”

Before he responds, you bow in a short goodbye and walk towards the elevator. There’s no footsteps behind you, no Prince Charming. It’s just you and your high heels clacking against the cold marble as you head back to an empty home. You always thought freedom would feel different, that distance would give you perspective. It just feels awful when no one is around you at all. When you have no one to pick up morning calls from, receive texts from asking if you ate, spend time in peace without uttering a single word—are you free or are you lonely?

The rules state that the two of you are different. It is true. You are as different as love in real life and love in the movies; and neither of them have happy endings now.

You wish you drank some more last night if you were going to embarrass yourself like that. Thankfully, it’s the weekend and you have two more days to figure out how to face your coworkers. You frown when you think of Jaehyun. Were you wrong to tell him that you simply couldn’t choose him? What if fate is right and it falls apart? You stir your morning coffee, the will to drink it fading slowly. It’s already fallen apart—and it wasn’t fate who did that, it was you. Should you have taken his stupidly warm hands and asked him to follow you? You don’t understand how it works at all.

Centuries of questioning what love is, poking and prodding at it like a lab sample, and there’s still no perfect answer. Love is blind. Love is cruel. Love is a fever. Love is temporary insanity. Love is acceptance. Love will set you free. There’s just too many variations. You can never tell if fate is meant to make it easier or worse. 

No one questions you at the office and you're not sure if you’re glad or aggravated. Only Doyoung shoots you a pitiful look which you brush off and immediately get into work. Embarrassment is only real if you acknowledge it. However, every time Dongmin tries to talk to you, you ask for space and even alone in your thoughts, you don’t get it. They just have to drift to Jaehyun.

You wonder if what he said was true, that he wanted you enough to forget the system. It’s clearly ruined now. The spiral of thinking has you zoning out during work more often than not and even Doyoung ends up reprimanding you for your lack of focus. Sometimes you want to snap but other times, you’re just hopelessly reciting the events over and over in your head. This was supposed to happen, wasn’t it? You don’t even have the strength left in you to blame it all on Jaehyun.

You pace in the corridors after work, contemplating popping by the Marketing Department. What could go wrong? Sure, it was a little dramatic of you to leave like that but everything can be fixed, right? You groan. What you were supposed to be fixing, you made worse. Are your hands cursed or something? You shake your head, returning to your desk to gather your belongings and head home.

Unfortunately, the sight of Doyoung sitting in your chair alarms you and you stop a foot away. 

“If you’re going to reprimand me for watching cat videos instead of checking the employee records, I can assure you my efficiency is still top-notch.” 

“You’re—what? Never mind.” Doyoung shakes his head. “Can you give this ginseng pack to Jaehyun? I owe him.” 

Oh no. You know where this is going.

“You know I’m going to keep that for myself, right?” You make a face. “I’d rather die than face Jaehyun right now.”

Doyoung shrugs. “Who knows? Maybe he’ll be the one running to you. This is in case of an emergency.”

You give him a fake smile and Doyoung shakes his head. “Good to see you’re still great at pretending to be fine.”

You sigh. “Thanks for looking out for me, bossman.”

Doyoung blinks, hand covering his mouth when an audible gasp leaves him. “Woah. I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you thank me. But don’t call me bossman ever again.”

“Noted,” you say, taking your bag and leaving with a short goodbye. You’re lucky he lets you off work early, even if you never took it. Employees usually can’t leave until their superiors does and if you were a senior employee, you’d be giving your juniors quite the hell.

You seem to be good at concocting hellscapes. Perhaps, you should look for job openings in the underworld. One last thought of Jaehyun exits your head and you take the bus home, admiring the city you live in and the warmth of people and their relationships. You don’t feel jealous; you just bask in them for the time—be it a mother and her son or two bickering sisters or a lovely old couple. That’s how it’s meant to be, then. That’s how love works.

Jaehyun smacks his head against the sofa armrest for the fifteenth time in a row.

“Dude. You’re going to permanently ruin the fabric.” Sicheng says, eyes trained on his laptop screen.

“I should’ve said something more.” Jaehyun’s voice is so zombie-like, he thinks he should cast himself in the Train to Busan sequel as an extra.

“I’m glad I’m not you,” Sicheng mutters.

“Can you give me some sort of consolation, at least?”

“That’s not what I’m your friend for.”

Jaehyun sighs and resumes smacking the back of his head against the armrest. He really needs to figure this out. After all, he can’t really Google the solution to this.

“One thing doesn’t make sense,” Sicheng says, finally looking up from his screen. “Why do you have the same mark as (name)’s if you’re not soulmates?”

“You’re so incredibly—but adorably—stupid, Sicheng. She drew it in with a permanent marker. She kissed me too! It was sudden and weird but I didn’t mind it.

“Yikes.” Sicheng makes a face. “So… you didn’t take a shower for how long now?”

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“The ink hasn’t washed off. I heard you singing in the shower yesterday, how could you not have washed that off? Ugh. Don’t tell me you miss her.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as he jumps up and rushes to the washroom. Looking into the mirror, the tattoo poking out from his T-shirt resembles yours a lot more than his. The arrow is still drawn in. Jaehyun’s shoulder slumps. He doesn’t know what he was expecting. Turning the tap and letting the water flow, he wets his hand and rubs at his collarbone to remove the arrow.

Except it doesn’t budge. His skin turns painfully red from the rubbing but the ink, which usually washes off in less than five minutes has no intention of leaving. Did you use a different brand of marker the last time? When was it anyway? 

Jaehyun breathes out, firming his resolve. He needs to be with you.

Sicheng blinks in surprise as Jaehyun grabs his car keys, not even bothering to change from an all-black getup of a T-shirt and jeans like some emo teenager, and shuts the front door behind him. Not even a ‘goodbye, I’m leaving!’

Sicheng sighs. Love makes people crazy. He’s not falling into that trap when his soulmate literally doesn’t exist, the same as his soulmark. It seems the contestants in this game are full of exceptions.

You hit your head against your pillow. To visit Jaehyun or not to. You haven’t left your bed since you woke up around seven in the morning, and now it’s ten. Your bedsheets are a mess because you’ve rolled around too much on them (in despair, not with someone unfortunately).

You need the quiet sometimes to let your mind rest, to let your heart rest. You needed time. But maybe it’s been long enough and now you’re just searching for excuses to hold on to your last shred of dignity.

You lift your head up and glare at the box of ginseng on your table. Should you? You reluctantly get up, feeling a sting of pain in your back for lying in that awkward position for so long. Right when you’ve put on your slippers, the doorbell rings and you groan. How did the package you stress-ordered last night arrive so early? These deliveries are getting faster and faster.

You walk to the front door and open it thoughtlessly, freezing up at the sight. Your first reaction is to cover yourself. You’re not exactly your best-looking version at the moment. Jaehyun’s dark circles almost match yours but he’s better dressed than you are—in a black T-shirt and jeans while you’re wearing a Gudetama pajama set.

“We’re not just friends,” he blurts. “We’re not soulmates but we’re not just friends.”

“Huh? Oh my god, this is the most embarrassing I’ve looked.”

Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows in a question look. 

“That’s not important! Look—”

He pushes you inside, closing the door behind him. His hair is so disheveled and messy, he barely even looks like the same well-maintained marketing employee you know. 

Jaehyun tugs at his T-shirt, pulling down to reveal his tattoo—albeit with your marker-drawn arrow through it. He does have a pretty well-built chest, you note before chiding yourself for getting distracted.

You raise an eyebrow. “Do you, uh, need help scrubbing it off or something?”

“No.” Jaehyun lets out a huff of exasperation. “It won’t wash off. If it’s what I think it is—”

“Miracles don’t happen to people like us, Jaehyun,” you say quietly.

He gulps. “I don’t know about miracles but… I just needed an excuse to see you, I guess.”

You look up, a rose blush over Jaehyun’s bare face, and run your finger over the tattoo, sighing at the warmth of his skin. Your hand travels up to his cheek, resting atop it while you muster enough courage to look Jaehyun in his chocolate brown eyes.

You pull away. This isn’t the time. You still have an internal crisis to sort out. Are you even deserving of love? It makes much more sense if the answer is no. 

However, Jaehyun pulls you in by the waist, his right palm warm against your cheek.

“I don’t care what anyone says.” He runs his thumb over your cheek in a painfully fond manner. “You’re worth more than the price I pay for this.”

He leans in and presses his lips to yours swiftly, your head clearing of thoughts almost immediately. It feels so right, you can feel the spark, the red thread around your skin, hear the bells. This kiss was far more perfect than it was supposed to be.

You part, gasping. Jaehyun blinks at you, breathing heavily.

“Kiss me again.”

Jaehyun does as told and you might just believe in miracles this way. With his hand around your waist and in your hair, his lips over yours and the low rumbling laughter that parts the two of you—you might just believe in miracles. You might just believe that love isn't something you deserve by earning.

“I like this,” Jaehyun comments. “I like the way this is.”

You press your finger to his lips. “I think you should shut up and kiss me some more.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I know you’re sexually repressed as of now, but that’s no reason to take advantage of me.”

You scowl, punching him on the shoulder and moving away from him.

“Come back,” he complains in a quiet voice.

“I am not going to do that.” You cross your arms.

“Come on,” he mutters, inching closer as you inch away, till your back hits the couch and you tumble backwards onto it, your legs on the headrest. Jaehyun laughs at your position, leaning in to keep his hands on either side of you, a doting look over him.

“Hey, did you know if I kicked my leg up, it would hit you in the balls?”

“Please don’t do that.”

You giggle, Jaehyun’s nose rubbing against yours in a bunny kiss. 

“Is your place usually this much of a mess?” Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. 

You sigh heavily. “I was having a bad day, okay? Or… a bad weekend.”

“Do you even have food?”

You look away, crossing your arms. Jaehyun sighs and shakes his head.

“We should go grocery shopping. How do you live like this?”

You scoff. “Oh, spare me the lecture. I’ve heard enough horror stories about your room from Sicheng. You can’t hide from me by sweeping your clothes and belongings into his room.”

“Snitch,” he mutters under his breath.

You can’t help the giggle that erupts from your mouth and you immediately cover it. Jaehyun smiles at you fondly and you look away, unable to bear that gaze of his.

“It really won’t wash off, by the way,” Jaehyun states, scratching at his collarbone.

You narrow your eyes, smacking his arms away to roll off the couch. Taking his wrist, you walk into your bathroom and turn the tap on. Something’s strange. But also strangely right.

“Look, I already tried—ow! Don’t rub that hard!”

You blink in confusion, trying again despite Jaehyun looking like his soul already left him. It doesn’t work. Your marker isn’t even that permanent. At least his regenerating skin cells should get rid of that arrow. Unless the ink was deep enough to pierce all the layers, as in a soulmark.

You gasp.

“You were right!”

“I told you s—”

"That's the point, isn't it?" you say, realization dawning as your eyes widen. "To see if people will question the system at all."

Jaehyun shrugs. “Maybe.”

"Oh, all those unhappy marriages that could have been saved," you say as you exhale. 

Jaehyun chuckles lightly. "I think that the point was, people can be happy without their soulmates. It's whoever you make one out of. Or I Googled too many articles on anti-soulmate propaganda."

You smile, leaning in to press a kiss against his cheek. Watching his ears turn bright red is the cherry on top.

“Okay, fake-boyfriend-turned-real-soulmate.” You give him a cheeky smile. “Did you rethink your decision about sharing that Netflix password with me? I get the girlfriend free pass, right? Right?”

“I didn’t even share it with my mother.”

You whack his arm, him possibly used to it by now, judging from his lack of response. 

“Idiot.” You cross your arms. “We can Netflix… and chill then. God, I can’t believe I said that.”

Jaehyun breaks into a chuckle. “You’re so pushy.”

 “And you like being pushed around, nerd.”

“Who said that?”

Jaehyun wraps his arms around you, spinning you so that your back hits the door. He leans in to kiss you again and you smack your palm over his pouted lips. You laugh at his face, his eyes brimming with confusion.

“You’re in my apartment. I make the rules here. Think twice before you start a game with me, Mister.”

His shoulders droop. “Fine. Can you at least let me kiss you four times a day?”

“Five times, if you ask.”

He laughs before leaning in again. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

“You are one hell of a woman. Emphasis on hell.”

You laugh and grab his collar, pulling him in for the kiss that seals this deal.

You realize a few things in the moment: a) You don’t have to play roulette to find love, b) You don’t have to pick your poison to find love, and most importantly c) Love is right where you make something of it. Fate is still not in your good books but if it bends to you this way, you don’t mind at all. If Jaehyun kisses you like this every day, you don’t mind one bit. 

#jaehyun x reader #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct x reader #nct 127 x reader #cznnet #neowritingsnet #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct fluff #nct 127 fluff #jaehyun fluff #nct fic #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fanfic #nct fanfic #moonwrites #i know i said no more 20k+ fics but............ this is literally karma isnt it #anyway i hope there aren't any typos i proofread like once that's enough k #also this is queued bcs im going on vacation ! :D

[metfell]

So. the butch hartman rant. i wanted to kinda just... talk about some of the weirdness of the dsmp artworks from an art perspective, cause we all know he does literally no research and its a shitty way to promote his stupid commissions. thats not what im talking about here. i want to talk about how the way he draws the characters either tells us nothing about their personality or actively hinders the audience from understanding who they are.

so, let’s start off with the first character he drew, Dream.

so without knowing anything about the character, what can we learn from this image butch has drawn? well, he’s got a really cartoony, almost silly gait to his run, and he seems like hes almost jumping excitedly, so at least what i am picking up from his pose alone is that he’s a fun, silly character, who is a bit of a fighter with his axe he uses. his mask looks cheerful, as if he’s just a normal looking young person- he looks 14 in this idfk why- who’s maybe a superhero? maybe he fights the bullies off at school or something.

and, as we all know, that is just the complete opposite of who dream is as a character. and that’s the start of how it can just completely shift who these characters are. how do we fix his posing to better reflect his personality? i feel like a slightly top-down angle, walking forward, holding the axe down towards the ground pose could show what an intimidating character he is. just an example though.

and i want to stay on dream for a moment longer to touch on the biggest problem butch has- because it doesn’t show up in dream’s art at all. it’s that his compositions cut off the characters at the weirdest spots and makes the drawing feel even more awkward than it already is.

we see this in technoblade’s fanart with one of his hooves getting cut off right at the tip, making you think he could have just sketched the character a little higher.

and we can see this in quackity’s artwork (im going to be pasting in the rant from earlier here so if youve read this already you can skip it)

in the video, he started from the head, and went down, so the waist up looks good, but he for some reason feels the need to try and fit a full body, even though the page doesn’t have room for it.

here’s a screenshot of it happening:

most people would just redraw the image to better fit the space of the page, but he doesn’t, and for an experienced person like him (i mean….. debatable but u know-), it shows just how fucking lazy he is and how much he just doesn’t give a shit about these characters. 

and now im going to touch on tommy because i want to culminate all of this with his latest (as of july 16th 2021) character.

so.... tommy.

tommy is the worst offender when it comes to his shitty designs (yes over wilbur) because sadly this one references a lot of things in canon but he fucks them up so that’s why his is the worst.

this design not only is just a terrible exercise in character design imo, but also just completely butchers everything about c!tommy all at once. 

let’s do the same thing we did with dream’s art. i see a very young, probably around 9-12 year old boy, posed very quietly and nervously, holding a sword he looks like he doesnt know how to use. he is dressed like a child playing pretend pirates in the backyard with his friends, and he has some bandaids on his face, probably from where he and his friends got into a tussle. 

and again, obviously this is just not tommy like. at fucking all. to accurately pose a character like this- when drawing them for the first time so we can get a read on their personality, WHO THEY ARE- i think he needs a pose more like dream’s or wilbur’s. 

he’s energetic and loud and bombastic (yes i know hes also a sweetheart and hes gentle and stuff but im talking about first and foremost what we see of tommy). give him a big shit-eating grin, have him hold a weapon like he knows how to use it, and make his stance something confident. because without the personality of the characters shining through- something butch hartman clearly knows nothing about- these are lifeless, shitty character designs.

and this has all culminated (thus far at least) with ranboo. my poor fucking boy. oh my sweet jesus [garfield speak to me meme goes here]. 

because god either hates me specifically or doesn’t exist at all, this happened. and we can use the things talked about above and see them here in this drawing. we have the complete misunderstanding of the character, to the point of him clearly just googling ‘ranboo’ and seeing the cc. 

we have the total lack of understanding how posing can show us things about a character- and i think ranboo’s is the worst because he’s not getting any information about who he is, BECAUSE he isnt seeing fanart. at least with characters like quackity he could pull at the very least a fucking expression from the fanart on google, but because he has nothing to go off of, the pose feels stiff and lifeless. 

we have the awkward cutoff of the drawing at the knees- which also have this weird shading applied to them that makes no sense unless we can see his feet? very odd choice. he does it on his back arm too, and it makes the arm look detached, almost prosthetic, because it’s one of the only parts of the drawing with that harsh shading- aside from the legs, which we can hardly see because theyre cut off. 

we have the fact that this is the sloppiest drawing of them all so far, with the glasses not even being set right on his face, the line on the black side of his mask not connecting at the cheek, and i am not even going to touch on how weird it is that he drew his thighs and crotch like that. not even touching on that.

and finally, we have the fact that ranboo and tommy are nearly the same age, and tommy looks 9 while ranboo looks 27.

i have no fucking clue if this was at all like. good. i just have a lot of fucking hatred for bitch fartman and i cannot believe- and it is a pure coincidence probably- that the first canonically not-cis character he picks to draw, he draws the fucking CONTENT CREATOR AND NOT THE CHARACTER BUTCH I HA- 

#mcyt #text #long post #readmore #tw butch hartman #hi this is one massive bitchpost on bitch fartman bc i despise him

[astaroth1357]

The MC is a Valkyrie

Demigod MC Series: Intro

Greek: Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia, Nyx

Norse: Valkyrie

A bit of a change of pace this time! No worries, I'm not done with the Greeks or anything. I just had this idea and wanted to get it out. 

Valkyries aren't really demigods, but are a part of Norse myth as the minor divinities that help choose and deliver fallen warriors to Valhalla to join the ranks of the einherjar (the souls who will fight when Ragnarok comes). Valkyries are depicted as women who are fierce warriors in their own right. Despite their place as the gatekeepers of the Chosen, they've been said to sometimes take heroes and mortals as lovers or take residence in Midgard posing as daughters of royals/nobility. 

Lucifer 

At first, they thought they grabbed an heiress - which would have been bad enough - but then the MC grew wings, drew a spear, and asked who among them wanted a glorious death...

How hard is it to find ONE damn human on Earth? Isn't that realm supposed to be full of them??

Diavolo was thankfully able to talk their winged friend down from skewering Asmo and accepting the exchange on behalf of the human wo-… Midgard. 

Living with a Valkyrie is different for sure. The MC is a proud woman who takes her role very seriously and she's seemingly deemed him and his brothers as candidates for einherjar (despite being demons).

He's tried many, many times to explain to her that they're not interested, but she's unconvinced. Now the MC watches his brothers like a hawk waiting to cart one of them off to Valhalla! Any mortal wound could be an excuse...

He's had to save Beel and Satan twice from getting dragged to that infernal palace… For whatever reason, she seems to have taken to them the most. Is it old Norse culture to favor the brash and strong? He has no idea...

At the very least, she knows better than to try to drag him into her little plans. Though he's sure he could qualify for the einherjar (obviously, why wouldn't he?) he has no interest in leaving his life here behind.

To think he'd actually have to put surveillance on his own brothers for their safety… But they're not going to get drafted into some ancient Norse war, not if he can help it.

Mammon 

She’s an heiress… An heiress!!

Well, her human world identity is an heiress to a well-respected (and rather magical) rich family but that still technically counts! She’s crazy loaded back there! He’s in love!!

The only problem is that in the Devildom she doesn’t have a cent.

… and the fact that she keeps trying to get him killed. That’s also a problem.

In a way, things are not as bad and exactly as bad as that sounds. The MC apparently wants him to go to Valhalla (dope) but she can’t just take him there… He technically has to die in some kind of “vallent battle” first.

Her solution? Pick fights with nearly anything that moves and drag him into it!

Honestly, it’s pretty annoying… Sometimes he just wants to have a fun night out without getting into a barfight, you know??

At least the MC can handle herself… Hell, he was her "babysitter" but she barely even needed him. A lesser demon once made the bad idea of trying to cup her ass and lost a hand for his trouble…

Though, what this amounts to is the MC starting something then fighting alongside him like back-to-back badasses while looking for any excuse to scoop him up and fly him to Asgard!

Why does he put up with this? Well for starters human world rich is still rich, all he has to do is get himself a portal then he's living the high life! And secondly, well… what's the harm?

Sure, she technically wants him dead but he's the secondborn! The list of people who can take him down is so slim that it's not like he's in any danger. She even fights with him so things are a piece of cake!

Is this a case where he's 100% more forgiving because she's rich? Yes. Absolutely. But a golddigger's gotta eat somehow, right?

Leviathan 

Is it weird to be jealous over someone not wanting you to die...?

Okay, that's an oversimplification but Levi can’t help but feel snubbed that the MC doesn’t have any interest in taking him to Asgard. Like, none! And why not??

He’s strong! He’s tough! He’s part snake too! Don’t the Nords have a thing about that? Like, there’s a giant snake they’re all worried about?? Maybe he could communicate with it!

Logically, Levi knows that he really shouldn’t press her on this… MC is pretty much a Grim Reaper with a Norse coat of paint and Asgard doesn’t really sound like his speed. No anime, no video games, not even cable! It’s just eat, train, and drink all day… Ew.

But still… What makes him an odd one out? 

At best, she just knows he wouldn't be happy there. At worst, she's underestimating his skill… or maybe she's gauged him just right? He's always known he was weak!! 😫

Oh well... at least she's not a bore to be around. Far from it. She treats EVERYTHING like a life or death trial - he's pretty sure that if he challenged her to rock, paper, scissors she'd commend him for his bravery and swear on her sisters that she won't lose.

He once made the mistake of inviting her and Simeon for a game of Devil Party and they both got so into it that they nearly had a duel to the death as a tiebreaker… 

Thank Devil that the game had a pre-programmed minigame for that kind of thing… It would have gotten messy otherwise.

Well, even if his other brothers go to Asgard, he can just chill out here with Lucifer and Asmo… right…? Actually, no, that sounds horrible! MC, he changes his mind!! Take him too!!! 😭

Satan 

How many times does he have to say that he doesn’t want to go to Asgard?!?

Well, okay that’s not entirely true. Out of scientific curiosity, seeing the godly realm of the old Nords would be fascinating but he doesn’t want to stay, which the MC seems to have trouble understanding…

He’s not even sure why she's singled him out for einherjar status… Any one of his brothers are powerful beings in their own right and he’s not particularly, uh, “even-tempered” himself...

His best guess is she saw him wipe out a handful of lesser demons at some point and declared him Ragnarok material. He always ends up throwing around at least three of those idiots a week so checks out… 

If he's being honest, her very existence raises so many questions… Does this mean that Ragnarok is real? Will the human world be swallowed up by the sea? Will the gods of Asgard fight and die as a new world is established? When??

Unfortunately, the MC won't tell him when it all will come to pass (he suspects even she doesn't know) just that Loki will trigger it… Someone keep tabs on that guy.

Until then, he just has to put up with her attempts to convince him but his patience is wearing thin… He's pretty sure he threw a bookshelf at her once but she caught it anyway so yeah...

He did challenge her to a proper duel too but… well let's say she's a Valkyrie for a reason and leave it at that. (Being saved by Lucifer was so humiliating… He's done here, move on already!!)

Asmodeus

First things first, she's gorgeous. Beautiful! Divine! (Literally 🤭)

Now that that's out of the way… She may also have a screw or two loose.

Like, he gets it. She's a Valkyrie and snapping up strong souls is her thing but come on… Mammon? Really? Why would he get into Valhalla instead of him, huh??

Why can't he get to go to the beautiful afterlife of the old Norse with all their strapping warriors, lovely maidens, and endless partying?? It's not fair!!

Ugh… and now she's got him sounding like LEVI! How frustrating…

Well, it may not be that bad. According to MC, he'd have to do battle training in Valhalla and that wouldn't really agree with his beauty routine. Like dirt, sweat, blood, and muscles? No thanks! Not for him.

He asked MC if he could get some kind of pass, but no dice… Maybe he could still convince her to let him vacation there… Or go for a visit? Just one? Surely that couldn't be so bad right?? He's heard that Thor looks NOTHING like people think he does and he's so curious!!

The closest he's ever gotten was challenging the MC to a fashion contest for a visit, but he dropped that idea quick when she proposed that they somehow include a wrestling match in the dressing room (and he knows she didn't mean the fun kind...)

As much as he'd love to get skin-to-skin with MC, the idea of getting locked in a chokehold was less appealing for some reason. 🤔

Ah well, he'll just have to make due admiring her wonderful body clothed for the time being… There's something to be said about muscular ladies, no?

Beelzebub 

So she’s almost convinced him to join the einherjar like twice now…

He’s not the best at making decisions when he’s hungry and the MC keeps hyping up the food… Apparently it’s really good up there and MC says that she’s never seen an empty platter... Just thinking about it makes his stomach do backflips.

Thankfully for him, Lucifer usually steps in before Beel can sign his soul away and reminds him that he can’t just abandon the family for a meal, even if it is a feast.

You'd think he'd be annoyed but Beel isn't really bothered by her habit of trying to bring everyone to Asgard. At least not on a personal level.

Like Lucifer, he doesn't want to see his family broken up so he'd rather she wouldn't… But she's a Valkyrie right? It's what she does. It's not like she can help it.

In a weird way, he also thinks she means well. She just respects them and wants them to have a good afterlife. It would be kind of sweet if they didn't have to die for it first…

If he's being honest, he's not that worried about it anyway. His family is pretty tough, not a lot in the Devildom can take them down. As long as they're careful, everybody should be alright. 🙂

Maybe he could get MC to make some Valhallan food for them in the Devildom… Or he could get one of those immortality apples?? Though those would extend his life wouldn't they…? Oh well...

Belphegor 

Belphie's attempt to kill the MC went something like this:

Belphie: *switches to his demon form* "I can't believe you actually trusted me!"

MC: *blinks* "Oh. So you want to challenge me then?"

Belphie: "What?"

MC: "Ah, now I see! You want to fight to prove your valor then die by my hand??"

Belphie: "What are yo-??"

MC: *summons wings and golden spear* "I like your spunk, demon!! Fight me with all you have and perhaps I'll take you to Valhalla! May you join us in our fight as a brother!!"

Belphie: "What the hell are you talking about!?!"

To his credit, he put up a good fight and probably would have gotten into Asgard if Lucifer hadn't intervened to save his life.

It can be said that the MC's Valkyrie-hood took Belphie completely by surprise. Sure, he thought she was a little weird for a "human" but challenging him to a duel to the death? That came out of nowhere!

His uneasiness about her only grew after he found out that she's been literally trying to get Beel killed! How in the world were his brothers so relaxed about this?? She's insane!!

So say what you will about the MC, but she's managed to do the impossible. She got Lucifer and Belphie to make up and work together on something! (i.e. making sure she doesn't send them all to their deaths)

Between Lucifer monitoring his brothers and Belphie watching the MC, they'll keep everybody in the Devildom where they belong. That's a promise!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me demigods