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con-clavi-con-jae · 5 months

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The awaited Polyvessels winter solstice celebration fic no one wanted.

This ended up just being me throwing every thought I've had recently about them into a fic, but I see nothing wrong with that. It's kinda inspired by a post @ghxstly-death made.

Warnings? Kinda? Basically there's like a small bit where Ves and III get caught doing some not holy activities but it's literally just two not at all explicit lines, idk. (Also III is trans bc I can)

21st of December, 4:30 in the morning.

Vessel was already up, which isn't surprising for him. Except this time, it wasn't for any kind of nightmare or suffering. He was excited, extatic even, to start the celebration. Today was the first day of winter. Tonight would be the longest night of the year, the one night where Sleep is at Her highest power, and can reach out to them the most.

Vessel ran down to the living room with the candle he'd made for Sleep, and sat down on the couch, thinking up his first offering. It had to be something special, since it was the most important day of the year. He felt Her hands on his shoulders, whispering to him about how grateful She was to have such devoted followers. With a wide grin under his mask, Vessel looked out the window. It's still snowing, a perfect day to rest, give out offerings, and show how grateful they were to their Lady of Dreams for the year that had passed.

Vessel lit the candle and looked intently at the flame, taking deep breaths. Then, he started the prayer. It was quiet, he always preferred to pray in silence when he was alone. He then set everything up for his offerings of the day, and took a short nap on the couch.

A few hours later, II woke up and went down to the living room, waking Vessel up with a kiss and blowing the candle out, "Good morning, sweet thing. Did you sleep well?" He sat down next to his partner, petting his hair as he wakes up, "I hope She didn't keep you up too long."

Vessel sat up, holding II close to his body and feeling the warmth of his partner's body, it was all he wanted to concentrate in, but he had his duties, and II had theirs. It's not fair to keep them occupied... but II's hair was soft and smelled good, Vessel just wanted to keep his face buried in it and forget about all his troubles. Still, Sleep needed his devotion, he loved serving Her, and he would do so as needed. Vessel kissed II's lips quickly and went to the altar room, mixing up the dried herbs for their first ritual of the day.

II, meanwhile, decided to cook up a nice, elaborate breakfast for his boys, as well as the first offering of the day. The presence of Sleep could be felt, everywhere. As II started up the cooking, he lit the candle he kept in the kitchen and thanked Her for everything She did for all of them. IV and Vessel had gone to buy some groceries that week, so II had a wide array of ingredients for his cooking, another thing they were grateful of. They decided to make some French toast, orange juice and scrambled eggs, something special for this special occasion. As he tossed the ingredients on the pan, making quick work of it all, they murmured intentions and incantations only loud enough for Sleep to hear them, expressing gratefulness and asking for a safe winter.

As the rest woke up, III made his way to the altar room, and IV to the kitchen.

III walked up behind Vessel, his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders taking the man out of his work. As Vessel turned around, he was entranced by the way the candles lit all around the room made III's dark skin look as golden as the small lip ring he wore, his now short red hair tied up in a bun. III was always so enticing, Vessel could gaze at him for hours and never get tired. "You're staring again, love," the taller man giggled, resting his chin on Vessel's shoulder, "what are you doing anyway?"

"Just making some incense... they're drying, actually," Vessel responded in a calm manner, trying to focus on the offering. They were six small cones and four bigger ones, and contained orange peel, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and sandalwood, among other things. "When they're dry after breakfast, we can light one."

The sparkle in Vessel's eyes when he worked on his offerings always filled III's heart with love, just needing to get it out by kissing all over his boyfriend's mask and holding him tight.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, IV tiredly made his way in and dropped his head onto II's shoulder, groaning at the amount of light and all the noise outside.

"Good morning, Ivy. Slept well?" II asked softly, getting another groan he assumed was a yes from IV, "good. Wanna help me set the table?" IV shook his head no at II's question, burying his face into his partner's neck. "Alright then. Call the boys, will you?"

IV sighed, kissing his way down II's neck, humming tiredly as II set the table, still unable to speak and not wanting to let go of his love.

"Ivy, go look for Vessel and III, and maybe I'll make you some coffee, okay?" II asked, sweet but stern, and IV finally let go of him to go look for the others.

IV made his way up to the altar room, slamming the door open and finding a rather enticing view. III sat on Vessel's desk, his thigh over the other man's shoulder as he kneeled on the floor. "Ahem, guys, II wants you to go down, but not in that way..." IV teased, blushing and looking away with a playful smile.

When they noticed their boyfriend standing at the doorway, Vessel and III pulled away and got themselves fixed up, walking out the door looking at the floor in attempt to avoid IV's eyes.

In the kitchen, II had set up a table full of all the things he knew his boys loved, a red candle in the middle lighting up the room.

"You really didn't have to, II... you're so sweet, come here~" III grabbed the shorter vessel by the hand and kissed him in between soft laughs, meanwhile Vessel sat down and started the prayer.

"Our sweet Lady of Dreams, bless us in this cold day, as the dark nights start and Your power reaches farther than ever, we thank You for Your protection, and hope You can get us through the darkness." Vessel recited, his voice full of hope and devotion as he held on to the others' hands.

"And the night comes down like heaven," the rest responded, before excitedly digging into their food while they chatted about their plans for the day.

"So, what's everyone thankful for this year?" II started, taking a long sip of the juice in his glass, "I, for one, am grateful for getting nominated four times for drummer of the year."

"Self-centered much?" III teased, kicking him lightly under the table and getting into a little war with II, stepping and kicking at each other's feet, "well I am grateful for how the band's been growing. All of us."

Vessel and IV shared a look, rolling their eyes at their partners' childish antics. "I'm just happy that we get to spend the solstice together at home, at the very least. With all the tours, it's a miracle we even get alone time anymore." IV sighed contently as he ate his sweet food, the strong taste of cinnamon weirdly reminiscent of all the years they've done this together. "What about you, Ves?"

Vessel froze. What is he thankful for? What did he do this year that the others hadn't mentioned? The band was his only big accomplishment, and he didn't know what exactly could count as his anyway. He spoke up quieter than the rest, "I'm just glad to have you guys... I'm not... entirely sure if I've done anything worth it besides writing and all..." his hand grabbed the fork tightly, stabbing at the eggs on his plate absentmindedly. Then, he felt III and IV grab his hands, and II shot him a worrying look.

"Love, you've done so much more than that... you're just such a beautiful human, I wish you could see that." II's voice was stern yet dripping with love, their eyes looking into Vessel's as the others held him. Vessel heard Sleep's encouraging whispers all around him, and it all combined made him smile as he thought back on his year again.

"I'm grateful that I have you and our fans to support me through my healing. It's been a hard year, and I couldn't have done it without you." Vessel finally got slightly louder, his voice more secure and his posture straighter. They were all happy for this, seeing Vessel get better, all of them getting better, it was all they could ever ask for.

Rituals went by, the morning was peaceful, and in the evening, they all sat in the living room together. Incense brunt as IV sat next to the coffee table, stabbing cloves into slices of dried orange to make them look like little suns and tying thread around it. He wore a hoodie that was probably stolen from Vessel, as it was tight around the chest but reached around his mid-thigh, and was bundled up in a cozy blanket he shared with II. The shorter Vessel, in turn, sat on the couch right behind him and wrote down all his intentions for the next year. Their hair was tied and they had his tongue out, a soft sight that made all the boys instantly warm inside.

Meanwhile, III and Vessel sat on the couch together. Vessel strummed on his guitar and III hummed some of their older songs, memories of the beginning of the band flooding his mind and making him nostalgic. He'd been having thoughts about his life, what he wanted to do with it, and the future of his relationship with his partners, and it just all came out of him without a warning. "Do you guys think we should get a child?" He suddenly spoke up, not knowing where that comment had come from.

"And how exactly would we procure this child?" Vessel softly asked, not fully against the idea but not sure if he'd do a good job at caring for a kid, "we practically don't exist, so we can't adopt, and you're the only one with the right 'equipment' for it..." IV laughed loudly at the comment as he stood up to hang the decorations he'd made.

"Well I, for one, think that's a beautiful idea if you'd be all up for it." II mused as he passed III the notepad with his intentions, "you could write that for next year, if we all agree?" They looked at IV, who nodded excitedly, and then back at Vessel.

After a bit of thinking, Vessel agreed. "If that's the will of our Lady, then I don't see how it's a bad idea." He assured calmly as he watched III write it down with his messy handwriting.

The notepad got passed around, stories from their past dreams were shared, and it all was shaping up to be a beautiful celebration.

"Wait but what does it mean to dream that some guy I never met dies to save me?" IV groaned as he laid on the floor, his dark hair splayed out, "like, do I just... feel helpless perhaps?"

Vessel wrote all that down on IV's dream journal, thinking about all the possible meanings that could have, "that's a good one. Or maybe you sacrifice parts of yourself for others?" He wondered while his hand stayed buried in III's curly hair, all three of them relaxing when II came in with cups of hot chocolate. "Thanks, honey... sit here, please?"

II rolled his eyes, laying on Vessel's lap as the four of them kept chatting and finishing up their dream journals for tonight's most special ritual.

II finished first, as usual, so he went outside to the garden to start up the fire to cook the food. They'd made sure to get the highest quality ingredients for tonight, since his cooking was an offering, and this night, Sleep deserved the best of the best. The fire rose and II cooked up a nice stew for himself and his lovers, to keep them warm during the cold winter night.

When Vessel finished, he got out to sit by II, wrapped up in a blanket, his head on his partner's shoulder as he hummed softly, letting the fire and II's soft touch warm him up.

"You look tired, love. You sure you wanna stay up tonight?" II whispered lovingly as he pet Vessel's hair. The taller man nodded, quiet and probably asleep by now. II laughed at this and covered his love in the blanket as he kept checking the stew. It'd be done in one more hour.

Meanwhile inside, III and IV laid together on the couch, a quiet conversation going on between them before IV broke the comfortable silence. "I have a question, my flower... why did you ask that now? About the kid, I mean." III's eyes widened at this, but he looked away, uncomfortably avoiding the topic, so IV decided to explain himself first, "I promise I'm not mad, it's just... it's a weird time to ask that, y'know?"

III sighed, burying his face into IV's chest and kissing him softly, "I suppose this last tour just gave me a lot to think about, my life, our future together..." III blushed as he explained this, not really knowing how to.

IV cut him off with a kiss, caressing his hair lovingly, "well, I believe we'd make gorgeous kids, and you'd be a great parent. So we're good." III grinned widely, getting on top of IV and kissing all over his face. They were both just insanely happy to be back together, alone, after all this time.

Their sudden kiss assault was interrupted by II calling out to them, the food was ready. They both ran outside, holding their dream journals and putting on warm matching sweaters, which Vessel and II also had on. The boys were already sitting by the fire under a blanket, so III and IV joined them and grabbed their plates as Vessel started another prayer.

"Lady of Dreams, protector of the night, we offer You our thoughts and all that we are, and You save us from the dangers of this mortal realm. All we dream, it is for You, and all You give us is sacred." With that, Vessel collected all their journals, as well as the page with all their intentions for the year to come, and tossed it all into the fire.

"The night comes down like heaven," they all said together and sat back on the floor, wrapped in the warm blanket and feeling each other's bodies pressed against their own. It was a special night, and the thing they were all the most grateful for, is being together at last.

#sleep token #vessel sleep token #ii sleep token #iii sleep token #iv sleep token #polyvessels #sleep token fanfic #idk i finished this at 1 am #i hate/love it

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lincolndjarin · 9 months

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BKS ✦ notes & bts : chapters 1-5

spoilers for chapter 1-5 of Best Kept Secret!!

✦

a/n :

I feel like this is just SO self indulgent of me but whatever I guess lmao, bks is my brain baby currently and I will take any excuse to talk about it. These posts are going to be long in-depth dives into my writing process, dress inspo, music i was inspired by, etc. of the mentioned chapters so settle in cause this is what i'm doing today lol. also this might be the longest one bc i'm gonna talk about starting and coming up with everything.

starting writing and original outlines :

i've said this so many times lmao but i wrote the ending first. like the ending ending. i work really long hours at a job that has me listening to music for like ten hours a day while i work so i get a lot of thinking time lmao. basically i originally wrote it as a story with no specific characters in mind. I'm a big Pedro fan so i was between characters i thought fit the fic but settled on din because i think he fit the character i was imagining best. (it helps that he's in my top three pedro characters lol) from there laid out a vague outline in my mind of where i wanted to start so i created a set list of characters and basically just dove right in without much to guide me except for an ending point lmao. it wasnt until closer to like chapter 15-16 when i started properly outline each chapter in advance in the document, before that i just wrote vague notes in a notebook that i didn't end up following all that well lmao

music :

i've also said this at one point but the original name of best kept secret was "my keeper and i" i wrote the first three chapters in the same week and spread out the posting but i used the same playlist for most of the early stuff so here's that!!

original bks playlist

inspirations :

if you've seem/read bridgerton then you might know that i took a lot of inspiration from the pattern the show uses and still do.

basically the show has a pattern of the couple getting together and breaking it off or having an issue that's resolved and then there's a new issue. i've sort of been following that sorta kinda

also reader is heavily based on charlotte because i had just finished queen charlotte when i started writing bks

din is more based on anthony bridgerton than george, (anyone unfamiliar with bridgerton, george is the love interest in queen charlotte)

also a lot of din's style of self loathing is based on edwards from twilight LMAO

notes :

here's a random page of misc. notes that i lowkey can't decipher lol

here are my chapter four notes! shoutout to when i didn't realize it was sarad'ika and it was originally ika sarad lmaooo

there's some unused dialogue here, specifically there was going to be a longer conversation about how he wanted to get her out of the castle more often as well as a scene where she was going to eat fruit ands it was gonna drip down her front and he was gonna wipe it off. it was gonna be a whole thing lmao but it didn't really fit the rest of the chapters vibe.

so.... originally there was a timeline issue where the first lunar interlude (i'm a huge taz balance fan and that's where i got the name lunar interlude from lmaoooo, i have 2 taz tattoos) was going to be chapter 4 and then it was going to be chapter 6 and then it made the most sense to make it 5, so any timeline notes here are wrong.

in my original concept for the fic, every chapter was going to end with a small portion of din pov, but it didn't flow well and i really didn't like it so it ended up being easier having it be specific chapters.

when writing the first lunar interlude i went through and read the previous chapters and wrote down how i thought he was feeling during each scene which is what these notes are ^

dresses :

here's a collection of the dresses i used as inspo for chapters 1-5 (these were posted on my old account but i'm gonna put them here as well!!)

chapter one :

the wedding dress was based on this dress!!

and this is the sort of jewelry i was picturing but this stuff is still pretty, i couldn't find anything as ugly as what i was picturing for her wedding jewelry.

this is the sort of stuff i pictured for her blue dresses she hates but honestly all of these are pretty as well LMAO. in all honesty i think that the blue dresses she doesn't like wearing are probably pretty i think she mostly just hates what they stand for and also they put her in gaudy makeup and jewelry as well which doesn't help

chapter two :

used all sorts of dresses as inspo for this chapter! here are these!

chapter three :

sort of a combination of these for the chapter three dress, if that makes sense lmao

chapter four :

something along these lines for the garden dress!!

that's all for these chapters!! I'll probably do 6-15 for the next one since there won't be as many notes for those and then go back to five each for the rest!! i have to do some practice makeup for the concert i'm going to this week so the next one of these will be up either tonight or tomorrow!!

#lincolndjarin #best kept secret #the mandalorian

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tanetime · 6 months

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20. Does Wyneer have any interesting facts regarding his creation?

This turned into me just rambling about making Wyneer and I'm so sorry.

I made Wyneer because me and some friends at the time decided to make DST mods together. My design prompt was "a jack of all trades." I pieced together inspiration from some old noh actor OCs of mine and imagery from a song I was obsesed with at the time and got Wyneer out of it.

The face on his mask used to be a lot smaller, and his hair less angular. You can see him become more DST-animatic-like over time... it's like putting a normal dog next to a pug.

His original outfit (not pictured bc the art sucked) was a lot fancier and later became the basis for his original guest of honour skin.

Wyneer originally had no name or gender or personality at all. He was supposed to be a blank slate and exaggerate certain personality traits through his masks...

...The problem was that I didn't have any masks. It took like six months for the first ones to get concept art. In that time, Wyneer developed an identity of his own. So the masks had to change into being different 'people'.

Wyneer himself hasn't changed very much, but his masks changed a lot. Under the cut I'll talk about the masks who made it into his mod, but here's two that didn't:

A kelp based mask, who was supposed to be used during seafaring. I think they got more stats from eating raw fish to allow them to stay at sea longer? They were very creature and liked to just sit in ponds.

A beefalo-wool mask who had an affinity toward animals. I don't have a whole lot of concept art of them because I drew them once and went "that's it that's the design."

Both of these masks got cut because ultimately I couldn't come up with anything for them to do that justified them existing. I don't think they'll ever come back.

As for the ones that made it in...

now let's talk about

The Masks

Here's some quick-fire things.

1. Fright n Flight, Brave Face and Laborious were the first masks I made, and I made them all together. Fright was the first to get modded in, Brave was the first to get sprites, and Lay was the first to develop an individual personality that wasn't part of Wyneer.

For the longest time the masks in his mod looked like this because they had no designs (that's Fright on the right):

2. Brave Face and About Face only exist because their names are puns, and their mechanics are based on those puns. Boutey was supposed to be a comedy/tragedy mask until he became whatever the hell he ended up as.

3. Going back to Brave, if you'll remember I said that Wyneer's masks added to his personality originally. Back then his masks had more abstract designs and weren't designed to emote. For a very small period of time, Brave was a dragon!

There's nothing left of this iteration other than his sharp teeth.

Fright was also a monster for a bit, but this was around the time I decided to make the masks people, so they became more reminisent of human faces instead.

Brave was the hardest mask to design. He used to be blue and green and resemble actual artefacts that were supposedly made by Celtic tribes, but the colours 1. looked bad digitally 2. bore no resemblence to any materials in Don't Starve. His final design was colour-picked from Wigfrid's Winged Victory set for cohesion.

It pains me that he's now a typical movie interprenation of generic Celtic things but it does make sense that Wyneer mistakenly thought that was what he should look like...

4. About Face and Jet Black were originally the same mask. About Face was originally "a rogue that becomes a tank" so his high sanity form couldn't be noticed by enemies unless he attacked them first.

It was a bit much, and I was debating making a crow feather mask, so I split that half of Boutey into Blake's original version. It got coded in but I ultimately didn't like it and removed it.

5. Wyneer had a whooole upgrade pyramid of masks involving different seasons. The idea was that there were four masks that had a season that suited them, and you could combine the masks together to sets of pairs to ultimately form a mask that consolidated all of their perks.

I got as far as making Crimson and Azure (summer and winter) before realising that the idea sounded cool on paper but introduced a lot of masks that were going to be redundant.

Wyneer did design Jet Black with the intent of him consolidating Crimson and Azure's abilities, but that's not quite what purple gems do.

6. Nightmare Face used to glow magenta, like the other Ruins stuff. However, DST's colour cubes wash out magenta into a disgusting grey colour under certain circumstances, so I changed it to red.

Klei later did the same thing with the Nightmare Werepig. I wonder if the same realisation happened to them.

7. The masks were originally supposed to have slightly different hair and wear Wyneer's clothes differently. I did the former for Brave and Boutey and immediately realised that it would be a nightmare and stopped doing it for the remaining masks.

8. Several of Wyneer's masks are based on venetian masks.

9. Wyneer's masks had a crafting tab icon before Klei nuked it. I still think it looks cool.

10. The masks in Wyneer's mod are fully animated and have a disgusting amount of sprites. I wanted each one to feel unique, so I drew them all from scratch. It took so long to make them all that you can see me getting better or rustier between each one... it was a lot of work, but I really enjoy searching for an emotion and seeing how each one looks.

11. Wyneer's masks are so unique that they broke the Modded Skins API and as of this post the hyperspecific glitch that effects him has not been fixed. Thanks Wyneer.

...I could go on forever, but this post is way too long...

As a sendoff, here are the beta inventory icons for the masks, for no particular reason.

#tane t talks #asks #wyneer #my ocs #don't starve mod #dst oc #dst mod #long post #really long post #i am so sorry

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amiscreations · 1 year

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Seeing Def Leppard and Motley Crue at the Stadium Tour in Bramall Lane, Sheffield - 22/05/2023✨

Ok I’ll try and keep this as brief as possible, but I also want to include as many fun details as possible! also how has it been eXACTLY ONE WEEK since this happened aAAAH??? (from when I'm posting this at least)

Before the Show

So we started queuing at 8:30am, and we weren’t even the first people there! There was a group who had been queuing since 4am!

We immediately clicked with this group and we ended up becoming great friends, and they made the experience much more enjoyable!

I also had a few issues with my ticket, as I needed to print it but never got the chance (story for another day) so I had to go down to the ticket office like three times😅

Just before we went in the nerves suddenly hit me: I HAD to get my spot that I’d queued 7 hours for.

As soon as I was let in I got the biggest adrenaline rush of my entire life, and although the staff were telling me not to run, I ran, and they didn’t stop me.

And I got a spot at the barrier with my friends!

it was at this point that reality started to set in...

after 7 months of waiting for this very moment I was HERE

Vivas came on after about 45 mins and they were AMAZING???

I was just looking at Tyler the entire time tbh bc he looks sO MUCH LIKE SAV ITS AAAAAA

also the lead singer was absolutely losing his mind at how big of a gig this was for them and I felt so happy! His joy was honestly infectious and I think they’re gonna do great things!

Mötley Crüe

After Vivas it was about a 30 min wait until Crüe, and every time we thought they had finished setting up the stage they added one more thing lmao

also Ryan was hanging around in the photo pit and he took our photo AWWW

I saw him the next day and he actually sent it to me, so now I have the very photo that Ryan Sebastyan himself took!

anyways the stage set up for Crue was just a little over the top imo perhaps to compensate whaaaat

they also had this extremely long opera(?) intro which just went on for way too long

and then they had that fuckin aLARM THING WHICH WAS SO LOUD

when the guys eventually did come on I will admit it was incredibly surreal... like tHAT is Nikki Sixx RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME??

Nikki was wearing the coolest jacket at first I want 23 of my own

Vince was uuuh Vince

like he wasn't terrible in person but listening back it is... not great

aNYWAY John 5 was actually so cool and fits in with them really well but he’s just not Mick Mars soz John

he also did this thing where he just drooled over the side of the podium?? like bro that was just so unnecessary JHGFGJK

also the music was just sO LOUD I found it hard to tell which some was which at first aND I WAS WEARING HEARING PROTECTION

at one point Nikki threw a bottle of Fiji Water and it landed right behind the security guard in front of me... I didn't want it😂

about midway through the set Nikki addressed the crowd and actually brought a kid up on stage and took a selfie with him which I thought was really cool!

Aaaand then Tommy addressed the crowd and asked women to show their tits🙃 and of course some did. oh Tommy

then they played Home Sweet Home and let me tell you Tommy can sHRED on a piano

tbh the strippers (yes for those that dont know they have *female dancers* dancing on stage to some of the songs) were probably putting in the most effort out of anyone up there

I think my favourite part was when they did the medley of covers, so Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room, Blitzkrieg Bop and Anarchy in the UK

they ended with Kickstart my Heart which was a lot of fun!

Def Leppard

it is TIMEEEE

there wasn't a long wait at all until leppard bc I think the show was a little behind schedule

but then when the countdown came on the screen it was the longest 6 mins of my life

and then Joe’s cover of Heroes came on and AAAAAAAH

THEN IT WAS THE INTRO TO TAKE WHAT YOU WANT

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

THERE THEY ARE DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST

it wasn't so much of a shock seeing them in person as I had seen them at the signing two days ago, BUT STILLL THATS THEMMMM

And Joe was wearing this soon to be ICONIC Union Jack blazer

Sav was wearing a polka-dot gradient suit (you know the one)

Phil and Viv were wearing THEE most gorgeous suits

Tho I'm kinda disappointed that Phil wasn't shirtless😪(jk)

And Rick in his sparkly tie dye shirt which I another thing I want 245 of

honestly the rest was a bit of a blur but in a good way!

I started losing my mind whenever they would come out onto the catwalk bc tHEY WERE SO CLOSE AND LOOKED ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

aLSO they're recording the performance for a DVD (I think) so hopefully we will be able to watch back the pro shot version at some point!

also I hope I'm in it bc at one point they were in the photo pit pointing a camera directly at me BBFJKBFJK

oh also Ross Halfin was there I forgot to mention that LMAO

I think during Armageddon It something happened in the crowd behind me bc the security guards were standing on the barrier basically leaning tf on me as if to get a closer look at what was happening

so yeah I missed the majority of that song LOL and I never did find out exactly what happened, although I did hear that someone got escorted out

also just before Love Bites my phone died so I spent the first half of that song faffing about with my portable charger which thankfully charged your phone super fast

they also played Promises which for some reason caught me right off guard? it was so good tho and I didn't realise how hard it went until I heard it live!

and then it was the acoustic section which I was looking forward to the most (tho I honestly think it got cut short bc they only played like two songs and the show was behind schedule) bUT IT WAS STILL ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

This Guitar is my fave off of DSH and hearing it live was just incredible

I love how you can just hear all their voices so well

aLSO IT WAS DEDICATED TO STEVE😭

Joe also said that Steve’s mum was in the audience and I think everyone in the stadium started to cry

and then it was Joe and Sav’s lil duet in When Love and Hate Collide which was so awwww

I can’t believe I actually got to hear Sav sing irl sOMEONE RESUSCITATE ME

anyways moving on, hearing a stadium sing “ROCKET, YEAHH!” is a religious experience I stg and its just something that cannot be replicated in a video

OMG HEARTBREAK AND SWITCH WENT SO HARD

the power that Phil and Viv held while walking out together onto the catwalk playing mf Switch 625

and then they started playing Hysteria and everyone started crying again

also they did the new alternate ending and if you weren't crying before you were then sorry I dont make the rules

The last song was Photograph ofc and thy put a bunch of photos from the leppard archives onto the screens🥺

they also put a bunch of photos that Ryan took of the crowd and tHE ONE WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS WAS UP THERE AAAAH

and just like that, Kings of the World started to play

I felt like my entire life had been leading up to those 90 mins

it broke my heart to walk away from the spot I had queued 7+ hours for, but my head was now full of incredible memories

bring on Wembley!

#OMFG that was l o n g #but it was so much fun reliving all the lil memories #its been a week and I miss Them every day #110% the best day of my life #if you ever have the opportunity to see Leppard then DO IT #you will not regret it #I can confirm that I will be going to as many of their future shows as humanly possible from now on #anyways stay tuned bc I'm not done with my Sheffield posts yet👀#Def Leppard #Motley Crue #Concerts #The Stadium Tour #Sheffield

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morvantmortuary · 1 year

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12, 56, or 67 for the ask prompts - whichever of these you find most inspired by for our Maxi 🖤

12: "I'll love you til my breathing stops"

56: "I am not myself anymore, I'm yours"

67: "You're so perfect, why do you want me?"

hi bee! :’D sorry I’m an idiot! 🖤

I’ll be honest, this one is definitely more… personal than I intended. I started writing it when I was really Going Through It w/r/t some depression stuff, a minor existential crisis where I wondered if it was worth staying in my program, dealing with the fact that my closest friends were also going through it and nothing I said seemed to help, just a whole slew of stuff that left me feeling rock bottom.

another part of it, I think, is that I have this weird thing where even though these were yandere prompts, I just… had this thing where I couldn’t just write the Reader hearing them? like, I thought for even someone like Maxi, who worships the ground his reader walks on, to out and say some of these things, I had to like - justify them somehow. Like I couldn’t hear them unless I was emotionally bleeding out, almost. maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, or something else I need to go to therapy about idk

and then once I got so far in, I was like “rae wtf this is such a fucking bummer, no one is gonna want to read this,” and so for a while I thought about starting over again just for something more fun

but, eventually, I reread this piece again, and decided that even if it’s kind of a sad start, maybe someone else could use something for the worst kind of days. I meant to post this on Yule, bc “longest night of the year” and all, but we all know how I am with doing anything remotely on time :’D

so, if anyone else is maybe having a hard time on this xmas eve, I hope maybe this is a small something to help

warnings for some really vicious self-talk on the part of the Reader, v v v brief discussion of su!cidal thoughts (like I said, I was going through it), descriptions of an anxiety attack, Maxi being a little too happy to murder anyone who hurt you, Maxi and his Reader swearing their deaths to each other, descriptions of necromancy, patricide, etc.

merry xmas, and rora and hector both have pieces coming too - this was just the one that got finished first 🖤 thanks for being kind enough to request, and I’m sorry again it took so long! I hope it’s okay 🖤

it hurts because you’re alive

(maxi morvant x gn!reader)

It wasn’t often you still had to contend with the voice from the darkest part of your brain. The one that had stalked you through the left-hand mirrors from the Masquerade, the one that some demonic presence - essence? Whatever - imitated in Maxi’s own mouth when it was trying to convince you to let yourself lay down and be prey. Since you’d been building yourself a pleasant life in Greymoon, one that you were more than happy to share with the man who’d stolen your heart, it had retreated back to whatever noxious neural fold it called home.

That didn’t mean there weren��t hard nights. Ones where it found you left vulnerable by an insomnia that refused to abate.

This was one of them.

You weren’t sure what had set it off, really: maybe it was the fact that Murphy’s Law had been in full effect at work, and nothing you tried had been enough to turn the day around. Maybe it was the phone call with your mom after, where more than one she’d suggested (albeit gently) that despite all the progress towards feeling like yourself again you’d made since moving here, there was still more you could be doing. Maybe it was the texts you’d swapped with Pavi that afternoon, where she rehashed the latest fight she’d had with a girlfriend she would’ve readily called awful if she’d been yours, Em’s, or Laurie’s. As carefully as you’d tried to point out that Pavi seemed to accept things for herself that she would’ve found intolerable for any of her friends, the two of you had just gone in circles, with Pavi insisting that she was probably just being biased in her recounting of the argument and you nearly pleading with her to consider how she’d feel if anyone else she loved was being treated the same way. When this proved fruitless, you’d eventually stopped and just let your friend vent until she felt better. It was the least you could do.

But long after you’d said goodnight, you were still sitting cross-legged on the end of your bed, lost in thought as you worried the skin on your lower lip with your teeth. After years of living with your specific brain curses, your usual self-soothing method was straightening up your house while listening to music as loud as you could stand it on your headphones; the idea being that bouncing between tasks with something drowning out the Voice would eventually convince it to give up and let you focus on anything else. But tonight, that had only left you more restless than usual. Your brief attempt to sleep had just ended in you plugging your string of fairy lights back in and returning to your playlist, trying to ward off your internal darkness with external stimuli.

How did you think you would be enough?

You trapped a piece of skin between your teeth, and bit down.

No, really. How did you possibly think anything you had to offer, to any of them, would be enough?

“It’s not about me,” you muttered aloud. “It was just a bad day. Shit happens. I’ll live, it’s fine.”

Your teeth, however, bit down once again on the spot. You could just taste the faintest trace of blood.

And now you’re talking to yourself. Just like old times.

Fuck off, you thought instead, but the Voice just seemed to crow in the fact that it’d made you change.

Oh, you little idiot. Just as spineless as you’ve always been. Your job knows that, you know - you weren’t smart enough or quick enough to improvise today. They all saw you fail. You let everyone down. Again.

This is unhelpful. You knew this was unhelpful. This was just wallowing. Everyone had bad days. This would pass. You would be fine.

…Right?

Your progress is not enough for your mother. She knows you can do more, do better. Be more. You can dress up laziness as contentment all you like, it’s still obvious to her. She must be so disappointed in what you turned out to be.

Your teeth kept sawing at the skin, and you winced at the sting of its separation from raw flesh, even as the taste of blood spread across your tongue.

Your love is not enough for your friend. It doesn’t matter how ferociously you care for her - it isn’t ever going to outweigh the hurt she’s willing to endure for even a taste of someone else’s. Someone real.

Stop, you begged yourself. You knew what came next.

How long until that ‘soulmate’ of yours sees all this and realizes his mistake?

You didn’t hear yourself whimper at this over the bass in your ears, the volume hurting now more than helping. You made no move to turn it down.

I’m curious. You suck at math, but make me laugh with an attempt: how long, exactly, do you think it will take for him to realize you weren’t worth the pain he went through? That he’s scarred, now, for nothing that could actually matter?

Your teeth picked a new spot and bit, but the tears were already there.

How long do you think you have until he resents you for your weaknesses? For everything you couldn’t be?

How long until even a creature of the utmost darkness finds you, and your broken little brain and heart, intolerable?

No, you pushed back. He’s not that. He isn’t, even with what he did. Does. He could never be. He’s good, his heart is good, despite everything that tried to force him to be otherwise.

Fine, the voice amended. Then how long until he gets restless because he’s stuck with a burden like you? Because you could never amount to more than everything you are that no one should ever have to deal with, much less love?

You blinked, feeling your breath begin to shake as something warm slid down your face.

There we go, the voice purred. You aren’t completely stupid after all. Gold star for effort.

You tried to force yourself to pick up your hands and wipe your face. Try to stem the flow of tears that turned your eyeliner into so much grime under your eyes, something else that added to the pathetic ineptness of your mien.

But they sat, listless and useless, on your thighs that took up too much room.

You can still exit gracefully, you know. …Well. As gracefully as possible for you. You owe everyone that much.

This was a lie. You knew, on some level, this was a lie. But it felt like the conscious You was locked at the back of your brain, kicking uselessly as this creature that seemed to slither and circle around the rest of your skull - and squeeze.

Your boyfriend’s a mortician, for crying out loud. He’ll at least make you look decent so you’re not a total embarrassment to anyone. Your mom won’t even have to clean up the mess when they find it.

…You had to admit. This made a certain, pragmatic amount of sense. It was tidy. Convenient.

Easier, perhaps, than the mortifying alternative of staying. Of letting anyone look too close.

He might even think one of your friends at the service is cute. Two birds, one stone. Provided any show up, of course.

That’s fair, you figured, this would be fairly short notice. People might still have to work, or have other plans, and you couldn’t expect people to drop everything for—

You let out a small shriek as you felt a chilled hand settle on your shoulder, nearly falling off your bed as you pushed hard away from the direction of your door.

When you just caught yourself on the edge of your mattress, you whipped around to see Maxi standing there, flattening himself as best he could against the doorframe and showing you his palms with an equally startled expression.

He mouthed something at you, and you could only blink, still not quite firing on all cylinders. He pointed to his own ear, looking concerned, and you jumped, quickly pulling your earbuds out.

“Sorry,” you managed. “Didn’t hear you come in.” You winced as you could hear your own voice crack, and before you could clear your throat, Maxi’s face changed.

“Hey now.” In one fluid motion, he crossed the space between you and fell to a knee where you perched at the end of your bed, peering up into your face with a familiar, scalpel-sharp scrutiny. “You okay, gorgeous?”

You looked away, trying to avoid his searching gaze, but he caught your jaw gently, guiding you by his fingertips at your chin to look at him again.

He made a small noise of alarm in his throat when you faced him, and when you finally met his eyes, he looked stricken. “Darlin’, talk to me, what’s wrong?” he murmured. His fingers traced over the tracks of your tears, wiping them away. He turned his hand slightly to examine his own fingertips, looking increasingly worried, before he moved closer to your knees to look up into your eyes. “Did someone upset you?”

For the most part, he still sounded like your partner - sweet, thoughtful, a habitual worrier - but you could hear the edge of something else creeping into his question. Something darker, lurking at the back of his own skull.

But how could you explain? If you told him what was going on - what was really happening - wouldn’t that just prove your inner darkness right? That you were a burden, demanding of care?

You kicked yourself internally, feeling guiltier now. Maxi already had to deal with a lot at his job, people grieving real losses. Why should he have to come home to even more crying from you, who was just wallowing in their own despair?

“Hey,” he urged again, softer, snapping you back to reality. He reached up, gently intertwining his fingers with yours where your hands still sat on your lap. “Angel, c’mon. You’re scarin’ me a little here. Tell me what’s goin’ on, okay? Let me help. Do I need to have words with someone?” He traced his thumbs across the back of your hands, trying to soothe you - but you fixated on the way he subconsciously rolled his shoulder, the one you had marked on that dark Halloween in the cemetery.

For some reason, it was that gesture - so innocuous, yet obvious in how you seemed to inflict yourself on him, on everyone - that finally broke the dam between your sinking heart and the world outside. The spiral had you fully in its grasp, and there was no getting out.

Your eyes blurred over as you looked resolutely down, feeling tears escaping their bounds faster than you could hold them back. A few of them made splattered constellations on the skin of your legs, just adjacent to where Maxi’s hands where intertwined with yours. You bit down on your lip, trying to muffle the sob that had been building for what felt like the entire evening, but the smallest of sounds still managed to wriggle its way out around your teeth.

Maxi let go of your hands abruptly, and you couldn’t blame him for his withdrawal - until the cold clutch of them encircled your face, guiding your head gently upwards to meet his eyes.

What you found waiting for you was the color of blood from deep in the body, seeming to burn of their own accord in the dim of your room. He was practically nose to nose with you, staring at you over the tops of his glasses with a look like a knife’s edge. “Give me a name,” he said, so soft it was barely more than a whisper. His fingers stroked your skin, but his grip was firm. “And they won’t see sunrise. I promise.” He leaned forward to close the distance between you, kissing gently at one of the tracks of your tears - but you still felt the brief, hot touch of the tip of his tongue to the spot. “Let me take care of it for you, please.”

You sniffled, trying to rescue some shred of composure. “It’s n-nobody. Really.”

“Oh, angel,” Maxi cooed, pulling just slightly back. He traced a new trail down your cheek with his thumb, hovering close to you. “You don’t have to defend anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Whatever it was, whatever they said to cause - this,” his hand flipped to stroke your skin with a knuckle. “It’s justified for me.” He kissed your forehead before meeting your eyes again.

You shook your head as the last of your composure slipped through your grip. “It’s not even a-anybody’s fault,” you managed around the lump in your throat. “I s-swear, it’s just…” You swallowed hard, but the ache just caused you to stop. “It’s just my fucking broken-ass brain.”

“…It’s what now?” You could practically hear the record scratch in Maxi’s brain as the murder dropped out of his expression entirely, leaving him blinking as the glimmering red seemed to cool like the last embers of a campfire.

You hurriedly wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. “It’s nothing, I told you,” you mumbled. “I’m just fucking sad again over some stupid shit that doesn’t m-matter, like always,” you tried to inhale, but your breath shook too hard for you to get any relief. “And I c-can’t change it—“

Your heart was thundering in your ears, washing out all other sound. You were drowning.

“B-because I’m not g-good at making anything better, for anyone—“

Your skin was too hot. You felt seasick. This was really it, wasn’t it. The moment that you finally tipped your hand and showed how much of a wreck you really were inside, and he would make the only logical decision. One you could never blame him for, really, because it was inevitable.

It fell out of your mouth in a rush, insensate almost to your own ears: “And I’m just going to be like this forever, and you’re going to get sick of me and leave, and why shouldn’t you, when I can’t even keep my shit together and just be a n-normal fucking functional—“

You were aware of the words dying on your lips, the sudden movement causing the ache to leave your lungs in an exhale, but you weren’t sure of the cause.

You also weren’t quite sure why the room shifted, or why you were suddenly staring up at your ceiling rather than down at your feet, but you were conscious of being cocooned in the essence of your partner: the faintest hint of embalming fluid, something like wood polish, the cologne he put on this morning, and the touch of laundry detergent that had started to smell like home to you.

You realized he’d taken you both to your mattress in a near-tackle, cradling you before you could realize what was happening. You were caged in his arms now, laying sideways next to him with your hands pressed against his chest between the pair of you. The pressure you felt around your torso was him squeezing like he was trying to keep you from coming apart at your ribs.

Like you were something fragile.

It took you a moment to realize further that his lips were against your hair, and the hiss you heard was him shushing the tiny, cracking sobs that were finding their way piecemeal out of your chest.

“No, baby, I’m always gonna be yours,” Maxi murmured into your hair. “It’s okay, baby. You’re my life, I’m not goin’ anywhere.” He kissed your head like he was trying to kiss your skull itself. “Mine’s broke too. It’s okay.”

You half-sobbed, half-hiccuped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t— you shouldn’t have to—“

“Nothin’ to apologize for,” Maxi insisted, somehow managing to hug you tighter without bruising your sides. “You’re mine. I won’t ever go somewhere without you.”

“But I’m a mess,” you blurted wetly against his vest, your chest kicking like a horse from the inside. “I’m such a mess, Maxi, I’m gonna wear you out. I wear everyone out, you don’t understand.”

Maxi shifted so instead of keeping you against his chest, he was eye-level with you, squeezing your shoulders in his hands as his glasses were somewhat crooked against your pillow. “Darlin’, I know everything feels wrong right now, and your brain’s not fightin’ fair,” he said softly, his eyes wide as he searched yours. “But I think your sense of scale is a little bit… skewed, here.” He smiled weakly. “I’m not tryin’ to make light of anything, but I think I have a little more reason to be worried about somethin’ like that.”

Your heart was racing in your chest like you were trying to drive with no way to steer. “I don’t wanna make you tired of me,” you managed, not entirely sure if you were making sense anymore. “I don’t want to make your mark hurt anymore, I don’t want you to come home from a long day to me being a drain, I don’t want you to realize you got a bad deal.”

“Angel,” Maxi soothed, running a hand over your hair. “You’re not thinkin’ straight. That’s not somethin’ I would think about you, ever. You’re talkin’ to the serial killer here, remember?” he added, with a laugh that sounded more nervous than anything. “You’re the one who got more than you signed up for.”

“You had to go through that whole thing with your dad, and They Who Decide,” you went on, as if he’d proved your point. “You wouldn’t have had to if I wasn’t here. You wouldn’t have had to get hurt, or get possessed, or—“

“For you, I’d do it all again tomorrow,” Maxi said, his voice soft. “In a heartbeat. I don’t care.”

You shook your head, not sure how you couldn’t make him see what was right in front of his eyes. “I’m not worth that, Maxi, that’s what I’m trying to tell you now rather than you waste more time.”

“And I’m tryin’ to tell you,” Maxi argued, his eyes plaintive. “That I don’t care what that demon in your head says, baby. I got one too,” he insisted, loosening an arm so he could gesture at his temple. “The real one and the one that comes from growin’ up thinkin’ I’m dead already, and nothin’ would ever change that. You have no idea how many times a day I wish to god,” he smiled, and it was strained. “I wish I could go back, somehow, and tell me when I was livin’ through the worst parts — every dark basement, every broken body, every night feelin’ absolutely fuckin’ inhuman — that we were gonna find you. That all this bullshit was gonna turn out to be worth it. All the years of feelin’ like I couldn’t tell anyone the truth, and we survived.”

Your shoulders bucked slightly as you fought your sobs. “I don’t want to let you down. I’m so scared of disappointing you, you don’t understand—“

Maxi took your face in his hands again, his gaze pleading. “No, you don’t understand,” he said, and you could hear him fighting to keep his voice steady. “You don’t have to be the one that’s afraid of that. You could never disappoint me in a way that matters. I’d swear it to you on our future tomb. I need you to listen to me, baby, I will love you ’til my breathin’ stops and long, long after. There’s nothin’ you could do, no part of you that you hate that would ever make me think otherwise. You could put a bullet through the dead center of my chest, and not only would I think you were in the right, I’d still love you when I hit the ground.”

The idea of causing him harm of any sort squeezed your throat harder than the lump that was already there. “I don’t know how you can say that,” you whispered, shaking your head. “I keep waiting for you to realize that I’m not enough to justify that kind of pain. I’m so scared of hurting you. Of being the reason you get hurt.” Your hands found his shoulders and your fingers curled tightly into the fabric of his shirt, desperate for something to hold on to. “You’ve already been through so much, you don’t deserve to suffer when you can avoid it. I couldn’t stand myself if I brought that on you, on top of all my shit you already have to put up with.”

The red returned to Maxi’s eyes, and oddly, you were more soothed than alarmed. You almost wanted his darker self there as a form of assurance, to know that it could protect the man you loved from the fathomless chasm that felt like it was splitting your chest.

“Listen to me,” he demanded, that shadow from his eyes creeping into his words. “I never… I never got to belong to myself, you understand? I was always my family’s next chess piece on the board, or They Who’s next prize monster, or the reaper’s host. I knew that. I spent my life knowin’ that, and I didn’t see another option.”

You recognized the way his fingers of his left hand moved against your back, his tell for weighing his options. The way his eyes went briefly distant, you realized he was making a decision.

His free hand moved to his chest, tracing the scar there through the fabric of his clothes. “…This wasn’t…” He trailed off, his lips a frustrated line as he chose his words. His eyes met yours again, the red still there, brighter now. “…This wasn’t just my dad,” he said at last. “I mean, he put the first one there. The original.” He hesitated a moment longer, the tip of his tongue briefly tracing his lip. “…When I thought my family’s legacy was all I had — all I’d ever have — I reopened it.”

You flinched in horror at the very idea, knowing just how deep that scar tissue went, how thick it was over the muscle. “Oh, Maxi… why, baby?”

A corner of his mouth twitched into a grimace “There’s all sorts of things you can do with a heart when you know how, babydoll. Unnatural things that no one can undo… that no good person would ever dream of.” His eyes moved to a point in the distance over your shoulder, something in them dimming. “And for a long time, I studied it. I read everythin’ I could find about it. It was all I could dream about anymore.” His eyes flicked back to yours. “I was ready to give up blood, skin, and bone for just the chance that it would work.”

Your tears were sticky on your face where they were drying, and you fought a shiver from somewhere deep in your gut, like it recognized something in Maxi’s words you didn’t. “…So what happened?” You couldn’t help but whisper, despite the fact that it was just the two of you in your room.

Like you were afraid something else would hear you.

An exceptionally grim smile bloomed on Maxi’s face. “Not my proudest moment, is what.” He looked away from you again, as if he couldn’t bear to hold your gaze. “Or maybe it was, I don’t know. It was the night I buried my mother. I wasn’t sober by any means, but my father was dead drunk. He interrupted me, we got to arguin’, then screamin’, and before I quite realized what I’d done… he was just dead.”

Silence settled over the pair of you as he met your eyes again, watching you like he was waiting for you to recoil from him. To suddenly realize in that moment what kind of monster had been sharing your bed for all this time.

“…Yeah, well,” you murmured. You reached up, gently brushing a lock of his hair away from his eyes as you held his gaze. “Good riddance.”

Maxi’s smile softened into the one you knew best, his eyes relieved despite the shade lingering in them. “I didn’t realize just how lucky I was that night. Not by half.” He reached up, moving some of your hair on your pillow away from your face. “Because later, after so long of never belongin’ to myself, you let me be yours. And you gave me back what was left of me, you hear?” He swallowed hard, and you could finally see the glow that had swept in with the familiar red gleam was at least partially tears of his own. He traced the line of your cheek. “You reminded me I was still a person, somewhere under all of this. That I was allowed to want more than just grittin’ my teeth and gettin’ through what brief mortal life I was meant to have.” He shifted on his pillow again, closing the distance between the two of you. “I spent ages askin’ myself, ‘they’re the closest thing to perfect I’ve ever had, the hell do they want with me?’ And—“ He stopped, forcing himself to take a breath that wasn’t quite steady anymore. “And you took such… care of me,” he went on. “You loved me so much, I started to believe I could just… be human, after all this time. Could deserve to be loved, even.”

He moved his hands so his arms encircled your waist again, hugging you tightly while giving him enough space to keep eye contact. “You have no idea how many times in my life I went out in the dark and didn’t care if I saw daylight,” he said softly. “But that night we walked into the Masquerade together, I knew I’d fight Hell itself just to stay alive with you for one more hour. I’d never been more certain of anything in my entire life.”

The heat that seemed to fill your own eyes, lingering at your lash line, was from something entirely different now.

“Your brain chemistry can run its miserable little mouth all it wants, darlin’.” Maxi rested his forehead gently against yours. “And I’ll be here to hold you until it quiets down, whenever you need me to. But it’s dead wrong. I know that for a fact.” One of his hands, still cool to the touch, cupped your cheek like you were something wondrous. “There is nothin’ about my life you haven’t made better just by bein’ in it. And we’re gonna live a longer one still. A happy one, despite everythin’, together,” he took one of your hands in his, bringing it gently to his lips. “I love you exactly as you are. I always will.”

Fresh rivulets formed on your face, but these felt… different. Like rain after a drought.

You wound your arms around his neck, trapping his chest — scar and all — against your own. “I love you the same,” you whispered. “Exactly as you are. All of you.” You pressed a single kiss to the corner of his mouth. “And there’s nothing that can ever change that.”

Maxi’s grin was unmistakable. “Y’know, it’s the damnedest thing,” he said quietly. “For the first time, I’m lookin’ forward to livin’ through whatever’s next.”

You smiled for what felt like the first time in days. “I’m glad I get to be here for it.”

Maxi leaned forward to kiss you properly, long and slow as though to make it last the rest of your lives.

#nice people #bee!! 🖤🥰#maxi morvant #maximilian vincent morvant #morvant mortuary #maxi morvant x reader #maxi morvant x you #maxi and his reader #maxi's final them #slasher oc #necromancer oc #slasher oc x reader #gn!reader #genderqueer reader #non-binary reader #plus size reader #reader's in a dark place #not quite hurt/comfort but close

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okthatsgreat · 5 months

Note

20, 22, 29, 40, 56, and 75-77 for ODIETLG specifically

Picking your brain is one of my favourite Tumblr hobbies

ITS GREAT THATS ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES BC IM A BIG FAN OF TALKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? UMMMM call me the forgetter the way i forget..... there are definitely words/expressions that show up a lot definitely. im sure if i looked hard enough id be able to see them GHFDJGSDFKG aaaaaannnnd as for themes i noticed ive been writing a lot on trauma and some of the uglier side effects of it ESPECIALLY when put in a situation that does not encourage healing or anything like that other than that I AM REALLY BLANKING THERE ARE DEFINITELY SO MANY MORE COMPARISONS TO BE DRAWN LMFAOOOO

22. are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) hmmmmm i do a LOT of genfics and im not that much of a purely romantic type of guy yknow..... i dont see myself doing anything like that in the future i reckon! unless its a gift or something :). in the same vein i dont think ill be posting smut on my main ao3 either just bc i feel like itd really come out of left field ghfjkdgshdjkfgh.

29. what’s your revision or editing process like? i stare at it. hope google docs caught any spelling errors. convert it into ao3. hope ao3 caught any spelling errors. send it out. wake up the next morning and grimace so hard

40. if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? IF ANYBODY MAKES FANART OF MY WORK I CRY IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME SERIOUSLY. ohhhh there are a lot of big scenes in fics ooooo............. if youre looking for a dramatic piece of fanart then the miu+kokichi confrontation in lgowab is a good one. the sonia+akane conversation in opddmh could be cute........... like them on the floor looking up yknow. like a little comic. i can see it in my brain. and oooo a lot of interactions from that second last chapter of odietlg when the whole place is falling apart ................................

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? BWAH uhm the characterisation :) i try to keep them in character but also make them feel a little more real if that makes senseee

75. what scene in odietlg took the longest to write? what was difficult about it? ooo its been a while hm. odietlg was during a time i had a LOTT of time on my hands so i was whipping through chapters so fast it was crazy. um. maybe the finale???? just because it was a lot longer than most chapters and i kept going back to flip a few things around and all of that :))

76. did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of odietlg? I DONT HAVE A DISCORD CHANNEL FOR THIS ONE SO THERE ISNT A LOT OF EVIDENCCEEEEEE let me think let me think. because this story was more interactive there were a few scenes that didnt make the cut solely because it wasnt voted for!!!!! i know there were MULTIPLE executions that were avoided during that miu gonta trial. there were a few more scenes including a tsumugi conversation that got cut in favour of the tenko/himiko chat in the bunker. ummmmmm unrelated to any sort of poll im really unsure!!! odietlg had a lot less planning which means a lot of initial ideas made the final cut!! i think tenko nearly started hearing other "voices" other than angie but i decided against that just bc it was never supposed to be supernatural or anything

77. do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from odietlg story/chapter? OOOO THERE ARE A FEW SCENES I ENJOYED WRITING i think one of my favorites has to be the final 3am encounter with shuichi and tenko. it really just felt like all of those conversations were building up to this last one and i loved writing the setting and loved writing their interaction bc it just felt like a great culmination of their character development up until that point but ESPECIALLY tenkos :)

ASK GAME!!!

#ask lee #ask game #cantbelieveyouregone

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charmixpower · 2 years

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🌊 Aish hairstyles 🌊

Literally oh my fucking god the designers can't think of more than three fucking hairstyles for Aisha, if I never see her with twin puffs again it will be too soon. Put her in a unique fucking hairstyle you assholes. This anger at the complete lack of interesting hair for Aisha is what sparked me to do this series in the first place. Just so I can show how fucking cool her hair could be if they weren't fucking cowards about it. Unsurprisingly this one took me the longest, with all the braids I had to line and color (tho it didn't take as much time as expected), but it was a lot of fun to do. I was easily the most excited to this one for obvious reasons. She looks great. I went a little ham on the gold jewelry but Aisha deserves it ok?? Her hairstyles in the show are so dull, she needs some fun

Side note, Aisha has the second longest hair out of the Winx, longest naturally, but it isn't visible due to how coily Aisha's hair is. My hair goes from barely toucing my shoulders to below my sternum, and my hair is curly as where I draw it Aisha's the 4 range. So yeah, her hair gets like at least 6 inches when straighten, going all the way to her butt. I also challenged myself to style her edges differently with every drawing djsjs which you can probably tell

Anyways on to the individual styles

Classic Aisha: this is the hairstyle I've started to usually draw Aisha in. Sporty and practical meet fun and feminine! I also gave her a nose piercing bc she, Musa, and Tecna have the vibes, and to fit the slight vibe of Andros. Aisha's hair in canon usually looks like it's on the low side of curly, and the reason why is made p clear by the miss magix ep and s8/WOW, so I decided to give her tight coily hair. Btw yeah that's her s2 camping outfit

Twists Aisha: this was my first foray into drawing this hairstyle, I usually draw dreads and box braids in this area, so it doesn't look super good but hey I tried jdnsjs. I wanted to stylized them so I'd didn't spend years trying to finish them, and you can visibly see me give up on that with the next drawing, but I think if I were doing a comic or quick doodles this is what I would go with. Anyways, I did this one because it really makes me think of Aisha athletic nature. Idk they just look super athletic to me, and I gave her a little extra ponytail for the fashion of it. Sporty chic

Mermaid-y: When I first drew these braids with the flat bottoms, they kinda looked like Mermaid tails to me?? So my brain was like, Aisha in her mermaid era <33. So my heart is set on her having this hair during s5, mermaid season, mermaid hair. It's literally perfect. Also I thought this top was super cute. This is where I really went overboard with the gold, but she's in her mermaid era, princess, guardian fairy, and dame. She can have a little (lottle) gold, as a treat. She deserves it, she's been though a lot lately with her family and Nabu being in a COMA. Some fun hair is good for the soul

Date night: light rage. They put Aisha's hair into pigtails for every causal event that happens and it inches across my last nerve like you wouldn't believe. Much like how that uniform outfit ruined one of Musa's hairstyles, pigtails feel ruined for Aisha, but making the. Apart of a braid really lessoned the blow. Half of me wishes I did a head wrap instead, but I can't just not include them. The outfit is super cute tho. She's going on a date!!! Yess!!! So pretty. I'm so happy with her earrings and dress. She and Nabu are gonna go have a picnic together, it's gonna be great

Box braids: I just got my braids taken out this Friday, which was fun (it hurt a lot, especially taking the small ones out ;-;) and I think it's a really good hairstyle for Aisha. I used to think that they'd be super impractical due to being so long, but because they're so heavy they're not actually annoying to deal with at all. They don't move all that much and they don't really get in the way. These would work perfectly for Aisha. Giving her the long hair, and the practicality. Absolute win! Of course I had to go for her outfit from her date with Musa. These kinds of braids always make me think someone has an important event coming up or they're trying to look cute, and a first date is a perfect occasion. I had so much fun with the earrings and braid decorations

Work out: I wanted to go for something simple, less fancy, and that doesn't require braiding, for of her hairstyles to just like her hair be itself and vibe. Here it is in a classic half up half down look, completely unbraided and vibing. Outfit slightly inspired by Serena Williams's entire aesthetic, including the headband. I didn't wanna put her hair over her shoulders, which admittedly looks a little weird but I wanted the high low part to be clear fjsjdnd

Poodle puffs: Personally I think Poodle puffs are really hard to styles, because it's hard to get the size of the puffs right without going too far in either direction. I think I got it right here? I think four is a good number of puffs. This is probably one of my favorite looks, mostly because of how warm and royal it looks. I'm a sucker for shiney jewelry and warm colors. I think this one came out especially well, I love the earrings, and the dress looks really good! I was worried it was gonna look silly but thankfully it doesn't

Bantu knots: She just looks gorgeous here. It adds so much to her orginal red carpet energy. Her hair is now all done up and fancy. Her nose ring also adds to the energy. I really like the earring, despite how lopsided it is lol, but I do wonder if it was a little too much for such a elegant outfit? Idk. Either way I didn't do anything to this look because I love it and she looks amazing. Not thoughts, head empty, bantu knots pretty

Princess Aisha: Hehe this one is probably my favorite out of all the hair. Not the outfit top XD. I don't like poofy European dresses rip. I got to go as fancy as I want!! I feel like Aisha usually tries to stay away from super fancy and complicated one event only hairstyles (which is why she usually goes for protective hairstyles she can wear for a while with low maintenance before needing to change it), but she's making a formal appreances, which means I can loop a gem into her hair. I also got to put big gems on her outfit and earrings which was super fun. This perticualr hairstyle always looked super royal to me and I had to include some proper beads on the look too. They match the gem she's wearing. Extra royal look. Her headgear as a child did something similar, but now that she's older she can just get proper braids put that do what the head gear was doing but better. Also can you tell that I was worried about getting too close to the edge of the page XD

#winx aisha #winx layla #winx fanart #winx headcanons #winx redesign #rus doodles #rus chatters

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grokebaby · 1 year

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🌼🎹🎯🌂❤ for Nan, Grandefel andd Maiju maybe :333 answer as many as you want I just wanna know more about the ocs of all time <3 (also hi me again)

(Hi you again !!)

🌼 = How old? / age group

🎹= Hobbies?

🎯= What do they do best?

🌂= What genre are they in?

❤️= Best memory/ies?

I'm not sure if you meant that all these questions for every single character, or like?? Some other way?? But you said I can do however I want so I shall °w°

AGES:

Nan being an elder is somewhere between 50-60, I think developmentally she's the oldest character here (not chronologically bc Grandefel has for sure existed for over a thousand years but ykno. What's equivalent to their species). Ofc nan has likely also existed for a little longer than that chronologically speaking? Can't say for sure but she's in the Early elder category. Maiju is AT MOST (equivalent to) in her 40's but I'd put her in late 30's. Middle aged to some capacity. Grandefel is funnily enough youngest of everyone despite having existed the longest lolol, for an angel she'd be considered to be in her 30's approx. She's in the generation between Kxxxtr and Lamera.

HOBBIES:

Grandefel - What hobbies? 😔 Yall got free time from your all consuming societally enforced role in life? Most her free time is spent with Deirdre and the kids, but if not she's out in the sky exhibiting cat behaviour (lounging on sunny clouds, napping in strange poses and knocking stars off counters their course just bc)

Nan - Something very grandma esque probably. I mean I'm sure she does alot of "hobbyish" activities but moreso because it's been a vital part of her duties growing up (sewing, gardening, cooking ect). But how she entertains herself? Pinecone cows. And talking to them. (Google Käpylehmä, it's a thing wi/ Finns)

Maiju - What hobbies? Looking at picturebooks. Not bc she can't read or doesn't care about reading but she likes to look at nice things especially if she hasn't seen them before. Either that or sitting around and thinking about cool things. If she's feeling extra adventurous probably going on a walk or something, stopping to smell the flowers and all that jazz

DOES BEST:

Maiju - I feel like I could put so much here and it'd be really obvious. Like decapitation. Wielding a Warhammer. However I think she's the best at being an advisor and second in command to Xerxes when he's Going Normal™ about things (as he does), and keeping the anchor down on stuff. However she's also great at supporting him in his decisions so who's to say..

I'm honestly a little unsure how to answer this for the other two, I'm not saying there aren't things they're good at but I can't think of something they excel either. I think I'll just say both Nan and Grandefel are great at defying the will of unfathomable cosmic forces, whether that be deities Or societal expectations (guess which one is for which character I dare you)

GENRE:

Funnily all these characters exist in the same setting haha? Minus for Nan being an intersectional character in another story of mine as well. Anyway I will go off of vibes

Grandefel - Gay workplace drama

Maiju - Doom with animal crossing music

Nan - that brand of horror where you're stranded in the forest and find yourself in a strange village.. / maybe the monster was the generational trauma all along

FAV MEMORY:

(prepares myself emotionally)

I don't think Maiju could pick just one, she can't pick favorites in anything. The first time Xerxes took her to earth to show her sunflowers? Having a ladybug land on her nose? Learning her hair isn't red but Maroon? Getting a tie in a duel against a Power angel? Seeing herself in a mirror for the first time? There's just so many

Grandefel would probably claim it was the day she was made the primary Persecutor after her mentor (father) stepped down, however in reality it was her opening up about her feelings to Deirdre for the first time and crying in the presence of another person. For the first time also.

I feel like.. Nan's favorite memory is still yet to come, because.. (side eyes my story outline) bc ykno (starts tearing up) because b

Future memories aside I too think she can't pick just one. The choice floats between the rare few heartfelt moments with her dad, the support of her relatives after That Tragedy, getting Siru some friends (at all), messing around with her friends at the cow barn, ykno..

#Ask #Ask game #My ocs #Nan #Grandefel #Maiju #At the current state of the story Nan believes that Lassi is most likely dead #Either that or she'll never see him again #So ykno..

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clawbehavior · 5 months

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Hello, I hope you are having a lovely day/night 💞🌷🏵️🍵

For the ao3 wrapped:

11,12,15,18

omg these asks led me on a trip down memory lane and made me so excited for my biggest WIP (which has also been a pain in my ass), so tysm for sending them anon ❤️❤️🙏

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hands down 'everything everywhere all at once', my modern au where gaon drops out of law school when his parents die and falls for their private money lender, kyh, against his better instincts. here's the funny thing: i intended to complete in one one week with 3 chapters published in 3 days!! i started it in January 2023, nearly a year ago.

i love this story so much. i wanted to write a gentle kyh for gaon so badly, but that's difficult to do for canon unless i wrote them post-canon. so i made an angsty au. this story was also my first true foray into FF writing on a03 years and years after i had put content creation aside, and the story ended up becoming a gateway to a totally new side of TDJ fandom. people share so many beautiful ideas about the lawful family in their story comments that fic writing feels like a rich conversation. so many times i have written gahan one way to read somebody's thoughts in the comments and go ahhhh i didn't even think of that. hearing people's perspectives has been such a rewarding and crucial piece of writing bc i am a person who works best when sounding ideas off another.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

straight for the heart, lmao. i have three, all 95 per cent ready for publication, in that the story is fully written out and the dialogue is completely polished in some areas but i am missing a key part that's critical for bringing the story together. it's too clunky basically.

for example, when i was writing 'i hope you are lonely' the sex tape fic, i had everything written except a single scene: i couldn't figure out how gaon publicly responded to the tape. this was a crucial part of the story because his emotion would set the tone for how comfortable he felt expressing sexual desire for yohan and thus the progression of their relationship. was he hurt and afraid? angry and sexually frustrated? wanting revenge or to move on? and how did all those emotions shape what he asked yohan for, a man who would give him whatever he wanted. so this nearly complete draft was sitting in my GD for weeks until a reader asked me when i was updating and while i was typing out everything above just how i wrote it for you some part of my brain suddenly woke up and came up with a solution. i published the fic the next day.

all this to say that the 3 stories i have lined up for publication are experiencing the same thing. basically polished except for oooooone thing. i need to tease out what a character feels about a specific event to successfully build the tension until it ratchets up to unbearable levels and needs to be released right the fuck now, i.e. theyre going to talk about it or fuck it out or whatever. but until that piece comes to me....these fics remain in the drafts. who knows tho, maybe after this a03 wrapped my ADHD brain will pop back in and do it's darned job.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

all of them! i don't publish a multi chap unless i have the ending written. otherwise it stays a oneshot. rn i am excited for i hope you are lonely, elevator troubles, and everything everywhere all at once.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

isaac! i actually didn't realize this until you asked me in concrete terms, so thanks for helping me articulate the writing block i am having. it's the kang isaac in my money lender au. he does something that has significant consequences but needs plausible deniability for the story to work. i can't nail down why he does it tho. he meddles, and he's foolish and he causes trouble but not vindictively or deliberately. his heart is in the right place, but how do i write him without overly abusing the trope of the good guy who bumbled his way into something wrong? now that i'm asking myself this specific question, i may come up with an answer.

thinking through this was loads of fun and a perfect way to spend lunch break pfft. you have yourself a good weekend 🎉🎉🥳🎉🎊🎉🥳

#the devil judge #bts with the writer #am writing #my fic ideas #anon ask #send me asks

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27emailsicantsend · 2 years

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Season 3 Episode 8 Thoughts

I am SO sorry this took me so long to write. My week has been a lot, so it’s just taken me a little longer to get to this. But I have been so excited to write my thoughts! A lot of things I might have already discussed on my blog, so if it seems like I’m missing something go back through the last few days on my blog and I’ve probably talked about it already :)

Ok… heads up this is my longest one yet… buckle up, wildcats 😂

I love that for the last couple of episodes they’ve had jet and Maddox doing the opening lines. It was a good subtle hint to the casual viewer that we were going to be seeing them again. If they weren’t a part of the larger cast this season then it wouldn’t make sense for them to do the opener

ANY TIME I hear the rina cue I will call it out. And guess when it played during the opening credits?? When jet said ej and gina broke up (so literally over that scene) AND when he was reemphasizing the coat check 👀

I’m going to be honest… the set up they made for Channing going “full reality show” last episode made it seem like there would be… more this episode? I thought it was going to be more of a repeat of episode five but it felt a little lackluster

LMAOOO the way ricky is sleeping has me 💀 what does josh think fake sleeping looks like 😭 he is so perfectly posed I don’t know how he thought we wouldn’t know he is acting hahahaha

But his jump scare was funny. I’ve loved his “scared” moments this season, like when he and gina were going through the woods and then when they found Ashlyn 😂 so funny

BIG RED I MISSED YOUUUUU

I’ve seen a few people throw around the idea that big red and jet might have a “fighting over who is the best friend” arc next season which would be so funny. But then I saw someone else say what would be even funnier is if ricky just said “gina” so both of them lost 😭 Tim please I’m begging for the storyline

Also when ricky asked if red bought the lotto ticket bc it was the last thing on the list and then red asked if ricky walked on the moon. It kind of made it sound like red got him something for THAT instead which makes me wonder what it would have been… 🤔

Oof jealous Maddox 👀 listen I’ve been calling the Maddox and Ashlyn romance since the episode where they were painting the set and Val and ej since ep 2. I’m impartial to Maddox and Ashlyn because I also love Ashlyn and red equally.

But I am VERY much a Val and ej stan. To me they GET each other. Who did he keep going to for serious talks this season? Who gave him comfort instead of his girlfriend? It’s been Val the whole time. Tim said we won’t get a ton of ej next season because we’ll be focused more on the high schoolers, but it would be cool if his “outside plot” was that he started dating Val :)

RICKY AND GINA MADE WISHES FOR EACH OTHER I REPEAT THEY MADE WISHES FOR EACH OTHER

And I KID YOU NOT: the first time I was watching this (1 am and delirious from just waking up), I watched ricky make the wish, said “where’s gina?” outloud and not even 2 seconds later ricky said, “where’s gina?” That was a little spooky if you ask me hahahaha

But also the fact that he had literally every other friend in the cabin he cared about INCLUDING red who traveled all that way and all ricky could notice in the chaos was where gina is, is so 🥺🥺

It just sends me back to some of my crushes and I KNEW I had it bad when I could spot in a crowd of 100 people if they were there or not and it completely influenced the night. Yeah mr bowen has it BAD

Ginaaaaaa you look so pretty my dear!!! Her outfits made the show feel grounded in reality. It feels less disney. Just something I appreciate in general :)

the only time it felt disney was that AWFUL outfit they had nini in when she was singing “What I’ve been looking for” at the piano with EJ. That one was cruel from the wardrobe department

But also this scene makes me want to do yoga in the woods. Fun fact I actually love yoga and have been doing it for a few years now. Ive just never gone to a remote location to do it 😂 only a gym or at my house

this is superrr random but Val looks EXACTLY like one of my friends from the back with her hair in that updo. I had to do a double take at first when she walked up to gina 😂

“When the right person comes along you’ll know, the timing will just make sense” and then LOOK WHO SHOWS UP MR RICKY BOWEN HIMSELF.

And Val is SO right for this. Rina has been right person, wrong time for the last two seasons. They just kept barely missing each other because of dating other people (FUNDAMENTAL to their growth arcs though). It’s cool seeing them go through all those lessons about who they aren’t supposed to be and be with, so when they DID understand it they got together. 🥹

Kind of a cool parallel from ep 1 this season 😏 “nobody’s gonna get in our way” and then “nobody” shows up asking for a group hug lol

RINA THE LITTLE YOGA POSE THAT WAS SO CUTE NO ONE SAID YOU HAD TO DO THAT

And then gina talking about knowing where she stands with people and that it’s “over and done” she’s ok… Ricky THOUGHT she was talking about himself kinda fibbing last night (he knew that she knew he fibbed), but then she mentioned ej and you see SO much relief on his face. He was so scared he messed up 😭 sweet boy

RICKY PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU LEARN YOUR CHARACTERS JUST A LITTLE FASTER THAN RIGHT BEFORE OPENING NIGHT. Personally I find the joke of him getting main guy without doing anything significant to get it SO funny. I know other people say others deserve it more, but he really is just being Troy Bolton because that’s exactly what Troy does. He doesn’t really do anything and still gets the lead 😂

That little “happy birthday”. Part of me wishes she would have said it a little louder so ricky would have heard and then maybe we see him walking away, pause when he hears it, then shakes his head and smiles a little. The other part of me likes how quiet she said it because it really gives off that vibe of “things left unsaid” which has just been the two of them all season

One of my favorite running things in the show is that we were told it would never be a “spontaneous song and dance”. There would always be a REASON something would happen. So it’s been so funny watching the show runners jump through every single freaking hoop they can to get a song in 😭 this song, by far, was one of the biggest reaches to me. We go inside Emmy’s mind for a song lol

She has a really good voice but I still am having a hard time seeing why she sang it? I guess I don’t have much of an emotional attachment to her character. She was only shown a couple of times in the show so it felt kind of… off balance for her to get such a large song when there’s other characters (like EJ or Gina or Kourt or even little Elsa after the talk about anxiety) that probably could have had a more emotionally charged version of the song for the audience? Idk it just threw me a little that she got a song in the finale. I’m pretty sure she’s a main character next season so I think a song after we learn her character more will make more sense then.

But regardless I did enjoy this rendition. It was fun seeing everyone prep for opening night to this song and them looking at their costumes. I also LOVED the little ricky and gina opening night looks during the circle. It very much was a direct parallel to s1, but this time felt more authentic because it wasn’t Ricky fighting for gina because he was anxious and needed security. He just loved her and was so proud and happy to be there with her in that moment. The lines about “letting the light shine on me” is very metaphoric to gina this season because she finally feels seen as an actress and ricky shining the light on her saying how proud he is of her… 🥹 this song just comes full circle back to those moments of him celebrating her as Anna.

I will say I LOVED their black and white outfits for this number though… especially Ashlyn’s. WOW she looked STUNNING in that top. Literally like an angel. They all just had these beautiful modified versions of outfits that made sense with them and their characters (for instance, EJ’s was just this sportsman jacket). It was cool because to me it felt like they were all smaller parts of a larger whole symbolically. We could see their essence through the individual outfits, but they were all black and white making them seemingly the “same” as everyone else’s. Costuming is just so, so cool because there is actually a LOT of thought that comes from wardrobe departments when you start doing more investigating in it. It’s all veryyy intentional.

This song was nice too because it really does make sense for every character. We watch their reactions to their costumes, being part of the greater production as a whole, and we know from their individual arcs that “this is where they’re supposed to be”. Gina is supposed to be in a spotlight she earned, ricky is supposed to be in theater camp with gina (not with lily back home), kourtney is supposed to be learning more about her potential, jet is supposed to be a part of the theater kids and making amends with Maddox, Maddox is supposed to be with her friends who consider her part of the same team, ej is supposed to be directing the show and learning about his potential in the film and production industry, etc. etc. etc. it’s just cool watching all of their storylines add up to this part and make SO much sense with this song

Ashlyn being so happy as an ensemble member and practicing with them is so 🥹🥹 the growth

“Gotta figure that one out” lmaooooo Maddox your crush is showing

oof can you imagine if Red, Antoine, Maddox and Ashlyn were all in a room together 😂

I can’t imagine how gina felt when ej was like “that’s tomorrow’s problem” about his dad and them trending. Because one of the MAIN contributors to their fighting and break up was how paranoid and stressed ej has been trying to impress his dad with the show. It’s why he kept blowing gina off and had so much anxiety and more. Now literally a day later after they broke up he doesn’t care? It’s fine now? I’m sorry that would have been SO upsetting for me. The whiplash of it all. And you can see the upset on her face ☹️

Miss Jenn and her singing I can’t 😂

OK this scene in particular how did we NOT see frozen coming?? Miss Jenn and nini here is a DIRECT callback to the “snowstorm” episode where they get stuck in the car. Snowstorms=frozen. Miss jenn talked about how the reason she became a teacher is because she was so stressed over getting that part in frozen and then she saw “let it go” on the score which helped nini decide she wanted to come back to east high. And now she is singing that song and nini is back and they’re talking about letting things go again (nini with east high going to California). Gosh it just makes some cool parallels doesn’t it

But also… Nini’s arc feels a LITTLE counterintuitive because she made this big deal about coming back to east high because that’s her family and that’s what made it so hard to leave and be in Denver. But now she’s leaving again. I mean I understand why, since Olivia is leaving. I guess I just find the irony a little funny 😂

On a lighter note I loveee nini’s top. UGH have I mentioned how obsessed I am with the wardrobing this season?? Because I am 😅

“It’s just a high school musical, nini” 😭😭😭

It’s a small detail, but I love (for the most part) how consistent this show stays. It’s cool that they reminded us from back in s1 that nini used to go to that camp. Of COURSE she would know where the firepit is. I just like when little things like that stay consistent in shows because it makes the characters feel more real. Another example of this is when Carlos at the beginning of the episode was like “on 3” and kourt says, “on 3 or after 3” and then Carlos goes “not this again”. The audience might not remember, but of course Carlos would remember being annoyed trying to get those numbers right from taking pics s1. It’s just fun little details like that that, again, make us feel like these characters really exist.

I love how they’ve decorated the barn from episode to episode 🥹 so cute

For the most part, I like how they’ve addressed kourt’s anxiety storyline. I work with anxiety professionally, so I think they’ve done a good job. Gina asking about what happened to kourt’s bravery the night before might have seemed a little insensitive but i get why they did it. It was so kourt could explain that they don’t go away in a night. The only thing i would have liked to have seen is maybe gina helping kourt take some deep breaths or kourt doing a grounding exercise or something. They’re doing this storyline to show kids they aren’t alone and everyone experiences anxiety, so yes while having a friend HELPS, not everyone has a friend that can “talk them out of it” or be there for them. It would have been a simple way to model, for kids, how to cope with anxiety on their own too if no one is around to talk to. (But this is just the professional in me coming out 😂)

Carlos not being ready to say good bye when he first came to camp not happy to be there 🥹 the growth!!!!

I liked watching Carlos do the “in summer” song but I also kinda wish we would have gotten “fixer upper”. But that’s just my selfish rina heart talking 😂 this was still a cute song either way, though

Lol you can tell nini was filmed separately from the actual opening night. They have no cameras behind her watching so we can see her WATCHING the play. It just LOOKS like she is. You can just tell there were time constraints they were trying to work around with filming with her and it’s just funny watching how they work around that 😂

The little “I’m gonna tell him” “don’t you dare” is VERY much something actual rina would say if there was something happening with one of their friends. Oh yeah they are so kristanna coded 😂

The little red and Ashlyn picture before she walks in on her mirror 🥹

This scene is why I am so neutral about Ashlyn being with red or Maddox. I think she and red work really well together. And with both of them discovering their sexuality and red still knowing regardless he wants Ashlyn, makes me SO happy for them. (Like imagine them checking out girls and guys together on dates lol).

I think this scene was supposed to be confirmation that she was happy with red and wants to be with him too? But the line delivery didn’t totally make me feel that way? And we know Maddox is still going to be around next season, which I really love their arc this season as well, so I would be ok seeing her with either :)

I appreciate that they both went through similar arcs on their own though :) it would have been cool to see red have that parallel to Ashlyn in the episodes… like showing his self discovery back at the pizza shop. But I also love the end of the episode when he’s just like “oh and I’m bi!” And ricky goes “good for him”. 😂 comedy gold. Just so unapologetically themselves. I love it :)

Also, I just realized remember how Carlos and seb had that whole plot last season about being the only queer characters in the school (that they knew of)? It makes the pin scene last episode so much more special because now they’ll have at least 3 more people a part of the LGBTQ group in just their theater club (there could be even more in the school they don’t know about yet) 🥲 that makes me so happy to know they won’t feel so alone

Ok I do like this scene between kourt and little Elsa but my one gripe with it is, isn’t kourt’s mom supposed to be a therapist?? The show did so well keeping storylines accurate up until this point (and I guess a little with nini as I mentioned before). So I don’t know why kourt is so surprised little her has a therapist? It makes it seem like kourt doesn’t know kids her age have one?? Idk and some of the advice little Elsa gives her seems like something her mom could have said to her at this point? This scene was a little confusing to me ig 😂 it was sweet, don’t get me wrong. It just seemed a little counterintuitive to what we already knew about kourt from episodes past hahaha

But also WHEN are we getting a convo with ej and kourt about anxiety?? I’ve said this before and I’ll keep saying it til it happens. Im waitinggg 🤨⏱

“The feeling you get right now is the feeling you get right before you’re about to do something brave” I’m crocheting that and hanging it up in my office fr, fr. One of the best lines of the entire show

“You’re my supernova ash” 😭😭

KOURTS PERFORMANCE OF LET IT GO 15/10 STARS

Literally SO good. Her vocal runs, some of the changes to the delivery of notes, the acting, the contrast of lines as she’s building up to the main part… this was absolutely one of the best performances of the entire show. Hands down. Like BRAVA Dara.

Also normally I absolutely CRINGE when the audience pulls out their phones or starts singing to help the main character, but I actually was ok with it here. (I would have DIED if they would have sang though soooo thankful they didn’t). I think shining that light on kourtney was kind of like what little Elsa said about using her anxiety to help her be brave. At first the lights scared her but then she used them to power through her stress. It was a cool parallel to that convo

The audiences gasps are killing me though 😂 i can’t take them seriously they’re so funny hahahaha its giving mii audience during wii tennis

And their nodding while they’re holding their phones 😭😭 PLS they look like npc’s I’m cryingggg

Also GINA YES FREAKING ANNHILATE CHANNING OMG I LOVED her coming to the rescue for kourt there 😭 really showed that “power of sisterhood” that’s been mentioned a few times in the show. So good

That was such a cool wardrobe change!! AHHH I WANT TO PERSONALLY MEET AND THANK THE WARDROBE DEPARTMENT

gina being so willing to punch Channing i cant 😭😂 she’s my FAVORITE

Ricky saying he’s never felt so much like a kid. When I think of kids I think of how happy and playful they are. How they can just move through life and accept things as they are. They are VERY resilient. This carefree and happy version of ricky makes me sooo happy. I know he’s been hurt by not being with gina but he’s not hurt BY gina. She makes him SO happy and you can see that so much through this season. I just really loved this line. It feels very special to me ❤️

Listen nini and I have had our beef but her doing the little cards each season and this little balloon set up is so sweet to me 🥹

Also… low key (like others have pointed out on here) I kind of forgot nini and kourt were best friends 😬 watching them sing born to be brave together was really cute and you could definitely tell some of that emotion from nini was just Olivia sad to actually say goodbye, but I don’t think I’ve ever really felt a friendship chemistry from them? I’ve seen it a lot more with kourt and carlos, gina, and ash. This scene just didn’t have a ton of impact on me which makes me a little sad? I think I would have liked to have seen their friendship a little more in the past two seasons to make this feel more deep. I’ve seen other people say the same thing so I know I’m not alone on this

I know ricky is just watching offstage but you can’t see that from the angle of this so it looks like he is just walking over and idling, staring at a wall 😂 it’s giving npc energy hard hahahhaa

YES RICKY END HIM. I love that it’s ricky and gina who stand up to Channing. Yet another parallel. Rina being the protective parents of the theater… our protagonists 🥹

Also “for the first time in forever”. You can tell that gina was not at all upset about what ricky said about “acting” like he likes gina. That she knew he was just saying that to get Channing to leave her alone and that he was defending her. It’s a cool contrast between him and ej because ej was just like “yeah we’ll give you drama” which upset her and ricky was like “we’re faking it and we want you to leave us alone. We’re not going to give you more of what is hurting us” which was comforting to her. ahhhhhhh

And then him immediately turning to her and asking her if she’s ok??? He’s so protective of her 😭

KRISTOFFS LULLABY

This was SO sweet

I also fully expected ricky to sing “you’re what I know about love” while looking at Gina so I was taken back when the only line he sang TO her was, “everything I thought I did, you’ve gone and changed it kid”, but after thinking it through this line makes WAY more sense. And the fact that he sang that BEFORE the “you’re what I know about love line”, helps us to know that the following line is STILL referring to gina. He didn’t need to look at her for us to know who he was now referring to because he already did. But lets break down the other line, shall we? Everything he thought he knew and did for love, she changed. Gina represents change. He doesn’t act like old ricky in love situations anymore. We also know that she said ricky came to her as a surprise, he was not part of her plan either. She helped him see that he doesn’t have to be stuck in what he’s known forever to feel love. Also, him calling her a kid refers to my point a few bullets ago about him feeling like a kid again this summer. They are two kids in love. He feels happy, carefree and childlike with her. Not stressed or anxious, like he did with nini. He may have grown up because he’s 18 now, but gina keeps him in that young and happy state of mind. Not in an immature way either… but more in a relaxed way where he doesn’t feel so much pressure on the relationship. “It is what it is and I’m happy if you’re happy”. It’s a very innocent and calm state of mind and I just love seeing them (him) that way together. 🥹

I’ve got some thoughts about why ej and nini were shown during this song, but I’ll keep it short. I think a lot of it is the context of the lines and their stories. For example, “braver than the bravest of us” when showing nini. She sings about “born to be brave”. Her entire arc is about bravery and taking risks and trying big, life changing things which has helped her grow into who she is as a person. I can break down the rest of these if you guys want, but I think that’s what a lot of that is during this song is ricky just explaining their arcs each time a person is shown along with the line that’s sung.

Again, Val and Ej!! I’m telling you people, they’re meant to be!!

Val looks BEAUTIFUL here. I want to know every place these outfits came from, I’m so serious about this

This scene was HEARTBREAKING. Ej needed his dad so much in this moment and for him to turn that love away was hard to watch

You can see Ej just trying to do everything he can to make things right and it just isn’t working.

I know Josh has wanted to sing “scream” and he is absolutely the Troy of the show but with EJ’s arc I actually think he’s more suited for this song? And it would be his first serious performance. Maybe he and Josh could duet it? I’m not sure what Ricky’s story line would be for him to sing this but I’m sure if josh really wanted to sing this, Timberly could make something work for both of them to duet

But the lyrics about losing yourself to get what you want, getting on a ride and wanting to get off. Ej lost everything this season. Himself, his girlfriend, his dad, last season he put away college…. His world is completely upside down and he is being told from every direction how he should be or trying to be everything he isn’t (we saw him go drastically in both ways when he lied all the time to being honest all the time in s1). The song just MAKES SENSE for his character arc

And you can’t tell me when Val sits by him and holds him close they don’t look like husband and wife!! Like they literally look like an old money couple and the wife is comforting the rich husband. I bet this is what cash and his wife look like after a difficult night lol.

Ricky didn’t even seem that upset about not getting a card? Like he did earlier and then in this scene he doesn’t? Lol I can’t read him

PLS TIM IS SO MEAN TO ELTON. WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM BE IN THAT COSTUME AGAIN 😭😭 I can’t imagine Matt’s face when he’s saw that the first time lmaoo

So I could have sworn in interviews I’ve seen Olivia say she was contracted for 4 seasons? I wonder if she was able to get out of that somehow?

CORBIN REMEMBERING JENN 😭😭 well… Jessica lmao. But that was so sweet

And then the wildcat cheer!! That was so sweet seeing how excited gina was about that 🥹 and right after she said “he’s doing it” Ricky was the first to chime in. He loves her sm fr

Gosh this whole scene with the cheer and then Corbin starting the song made me feel soooo nostalgic. I’m going to be an absolute mess s4 with all of the og cast coming back 😭😭😭

“Sometimes the really good stuff begins only when something ends” to Gina then Ej walks away. I’m so sorry p*w is bones 😭😭 that was so rina coded I’m-

And tbh I liked this song better than the “this is me”. I did like this is me but it didn’t feel as natural to me as “Everyday”. This was such a unifying song for the group about holding onto each other and being a family. And then all of the scenes of them being together were sweet

Also did you notice that the scenes where Ricky and Ej are just goofing and gagging were only at the beginning and end of the season? When Ej didn’t feel his relationship was threatened? It’s like their friendship is good when Ej isn’t worried about Ricky swinging in. I think Ej having a girlfriend that isn’t also Ricky’s love interest could be really good for them and I actually think they could be good friends (brothers even 🥹). This is another reason I want the Val and Ej agenda!!!

Favorite performances from “Everyday”: Ricky and Gina, Ashlyn (literally outsang everyone and for what) and Jet

“Because this moments really all we have” as rina stare into each others eyes 🥹🥹 we’ve seen so much talk about just enjoying high school and living in the moment and that’s what they do when they’re with each other. Time slows. It’s actually very metaphoric idk idk

RINAS NAMES NEXT TO EACH OTHER IM SO SERIOUS ABOUT THIS (especially ricky putting his name AFTER Gina’s, boy is smitten)

Ej signing with Elton 🥲😂

Corbin wearing his s2 shirt 😭😭

Also rina ran under the sparklers together… you know who else runs under sparkler send offs together?? Married couples. I’m just saying 😌😌

RICKY IS WEARING HIS JACKET 🥹🥹

Ok I’ve explained this in an ask so just go down my blog a little bit I’m very much a gina got the lotto ticket and not Nini truther and that’s all I’ll say on that

This time jump is EVERYTHING. Again, I explained my thoughts on how mature they are in another ask so scroll down a bit and you’ll find it :)

Ashlyn’s line delivery here and then her taking pictures 😭😭😭 it’s gets me EVERY time. Soooo funny

Carlos I LOVE

Maddox looks so cute here!!

Ricky 😭🤣😂😂 lmaooo this was such a funny joke and I feel so people who haven’t seen the meme behind it because I think the meme of hilary doing this makes it 10x funnier

Them just screaming in unison: same

This commercial and all of their reactions was such a great way to close up the storyline of the doc finishing but leaving tons of cliff hangers for next season. I LOVE that Tim did this

The Val and Ej/rina/Maddox and Ashlyn/Jetney agenda this doc is spreading 😭😭

Also what the HELL was that innuendo of Carlos and the camper 😭 where did that come from. Apparently this is disneyPLUS adult jokes lol

I’m so sorry but the part where gina is talking about her eyes being on “one thing only” and they just show Ricky with his “no thoughts, head empty” smile 😭😭😭 it’s so unserious 😂😂😂

Like Gina is soooo determined there and he is just completely clueless. That is PEAK humor 🤣

“Good for him” 😂😂

Ej saying he would slap Ricky but he’s his brother feels a little vindictive to me idk

“It’s all gonna work out in the end. Probably”. And then his little wink at the camera? Wtf was that Corbin hahahaha

And I’ve been wanting to point this out forever but notice how they made it a point for Corbin to turn off the camera before rina has their scene?? This was intentional!! I think this was to show the audience (us) who might have thought their relationship was “acting” for the cameras. Of course there is tons and tons of evidence for this otherwise as well, but this was such a nice small touch. Corbin knows they have more to say, so he gives them a private moment. Where they can just say what they need to. Unfiltered, not acting. I just LOVE this little touch 🥲

RINA CONFESSION

NO THOUGHTS, HEAD EMPTY

I’ve said my piece and I agree with sooo many other rinas about this scene that I think it went the way it should have. I’m not going to go into it, just scroll through my blog over the past week and you’ll see all of my opinions :) because there is A LOT

I was just as emotional as rina through this scene. They are everything to me. 😭

This was just perfect and everything it should be and I’m really, really happy with how this season ended ❤️

Rinas, especially my rinas who have been with me since there was literally like, 5 of us, we WON ❤️❤️❤️

Do not worry friends, I still have some drafts and asks I need to post so I’m not going anywhere for a bit :) I just wanted to make sure I got my episode thoughts out here because I know you’ve been waiting for it and I’ve been waiting to do it! :)

#rina #hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #ricky bowen #ricky x gina #season finale thoughts #woof

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