#also this goes without saying: don't start shit on my blog. I don't have time or energy to deal with bullshit

[rexcaliburechoes]

silverash is exactly what edelgard wanted to be in a completely opposite yet frighteningly similar way with the only difference is that silverash is allowed to be an asshat because he's a male character while edelgard is chained by being a marketable waifu

#rex rambles #fire emblem #arknights #edelgard #silverash #rolling my dice here and putting this in the tags because I know I'm right #I actually like edelgard contrary to popular belief #I despise how she's written. I hate how she's written so much. it drives me so. insane #fire emblem's 33 y/o poor treatment of its female lords always drives me insane #the only ones that are more respected are mcs for the most part because they're written assuming a male audience #(there are a few hiccups; frobin's chrom support chain while funny is incredibly shallow and I wish we got the mrobin support instead) #(that's the first example that pops to mind at least. there are a handful of others that I know exist) #I wanted edelgard to be good dammit!!!! #(also is frobin technically a lord? eh.) #also this goes without saying: don't start shit on my blog. I don't have time or energy to deal with bullshit

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

Silent Cosmos (Edward Cullen) (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Edward Cullen x GN! Mute!Reader

Words: 2.8k+

Warning(s): Two gross dudes, sexual verbal harassment (not towards reader), swearing,

A/N: omg chapter 3 is finally here. I apologize for the wait. I thought my semester this time around would be forgiving but NOPE. I had so much to do and read, I could hardly write for fun or draw either. I hadn't realized how long it had been since I last posted. I want to try a new method when writing series. I tried with my kpop writing blog, and its where I write a few chapters at a time then periodically post them. Helps keep the flow and motivation going, but that may have been a one off there.

Series Masterlist

-------

"O star of strength! I see thee stand And smile upon my pain; Thou beckonest with thy mailèd hand, And I am strong again... The Star of the unconquered will, He rises in my breast, Serene, and resolute, and still, And calm, and self-possessed. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The Light of Stars"

-------

Edward hasn't been in school for the past few days.

You admittedly felt a little lonely without his presence, though Emmett and Alice have made it their mission to become your new best friends. Jasper tried but he still kept his distance from you, which you didn't mind. Rosalie helped when no other Cullen was around, although she kept a lot of conversations at a minimum, which you also didn't mind.

Alice had told you Edward had gotten a bad cold, so he is staying home. You had offered to bring him your notes the first time so he could copy them down, but Alice told you their father has him basically on lock down until he is deemed healthy. So, after you've done your homework, you've been making copies of your notes to give him when he comes back.

It's the start of a new day and once again, Edward wasn't there. You were at your locker with 15 minutes to spare. You placed the spare folder with Edward's notes on the shelf while your mind went back to that moment you two shared at the welcoming party for your uncle. You felt happy telling him all the stars and constellation you could see, and even happier when he seemed thoroughly interested in your rambles. However, you feel an inkling of guilt when you remember he gave you his jacket. Maybe he got sick from that?

"Dude, I got this weird spot on my dick."

Well, there goes your musings of guilt. You glance to your left and see two guys near you, just chilling against the lockers. You've never met them, though you do remember sharing a class or two with them separately.

"Are you really airing your business out when someone is standing right their?" The shorter one, with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes gestures to you.

"Relax, Mark. That's the deaf student." The taller one with deep brown eyes and brown hair says with a laugh. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes and choose to just focus on the inside of your locker. Maybe you should get more decorations- "Anyways, I have this weird spot on my dick. It almost looks like I have a weird mole there. I'm hoping it's just a new mole and Cindy didn't give me something."

Gross.

"I'd get that shit checked out then. You don't want it to turn into something worse if it is an STD." Mark says with a sigh. "I told you not to sleep with her, Tony. She made my balls itch like crazy. They still fucking itch."

"I think its just a weird mole. You wanna look?" He cackles while his friend fake gags. They both push off the lockers and walk away to who knows where.

You let out a deep sigh and close your locker. At least the ignorance of other allows you to hear some gossip.

"What's with the sigh, Tiny?" Emmett calls out as he and Rosalie approach you. He has very quickly taken to the nickname Tiny for you. You suppose anyone shorter than him would be considered tiny in his eyes. Rosalie simply opened her locker as you and Emmett conversed.

"Oh, just overheard two people talking about something that should have been a private conversation." You respond with a slight shrug.

"Gah, Forks High is full of a bunch of weirdos, huh?" He grins and raises his brows a few times, crossing his arms while leaning on the locker next to you. You silently chuckle and nod, though you wondered if there was an underlying joke there.

"No Edward today?"

"Nope. Carlisle still hasn't cleared him." He sighs with a sympathetic smile. "Between you and me, Tiny, Edward is still shitting his brains out." He signed that last portion to you.

You gave him a scandalized look and playfully slapped his arm with a small chuckle. You were surprised to feel just how hard his muscles were.

"What was that for?" He gripped where you slapped and pretended to be hurt. "It was a private conversation, no one else here except Rosalie knows sign."

You roll your eyes and shake your head with a smile. You could always count on Emmett to get you to smile.

"C'mon, Rose and I will walk you to first period, like always." He grins and gestures you to follow him. Rose simply came along since she and Em were in the class next to yours. You nod and follow, happy to have good company.

---

It was a passing period and it was just you and Rose at your lockers. You grabbed a new pen and pencil since the last two you had broke and ran out of ink. Rosalie was fluffing up her already perfect, blond hair in the mirror of her locker. She and you didn't converse much, but you still liked her presence. Like the rest of the Cullens, she didn't tiptoe around you or treated you differently. She acknowledged your presence and would answer you if you had questions.

You were about finished in your locker when you heard two familiar voices keep up their gross conversations behind you.

"Dude, Rosalie has the hottest ass." Tony practically jeers, his voice intentionally loud. You glance to the blond next to you and she still keeps fixing her hair, though you can see her brows are a little more furrowed and her lips are more in the shape of a frown.

"Her tits, man, her tits are where it's at." Replies Mark and when you shift just enough to see him in the corner of your eyes, you see him make an obscene gesture.

You hear the slight creek of metal and when you look to Rose, you see her grip is so tight on her locker door that her fingers made indents which made your eyes widen for a moment. She closes her locker and you can see by her side profile she is pissed, and rightfully so.

So, you do what you think would make her laugh at the expense of those two guys.

You tap her arm to get her attention and she looks at you with a glare. You don't let it faze you. If those two are going to be gross about your friend, you'll just air out their business that they so willingly aired out by you this morning.

"You know those two jackasses?" You intentionally look to them as you sign and look back at her. "Well the brown haired one has a spot on his penis that he isn't sure if it's a mole or an STD. And his buddy likely doesn't wash right since he's had prolonged itchy balls."

Rosalie looks almost scandalized until her eyes widen for a moment as she looks at the two dudes and then back to you. She covers her mouth as she laughs when she realizes what you're trying to do.

You were about to sign some more when the two dumbasses approach.

"I know you were talking shit. What the fuck did you sign?" Tony glared, pointing an accusatory finger at you. He gets in your face and you swear you hear Rosalie growl.

You swallow thickly and decide to open your mouth. Your aunt always said you got your stubbornness from your mom.

"I said..." You try not to wince at the pain in your throat, your voice sounding hoarse. "You had a weird spot on your dick and your friend... has itchy balls." They looked at you with wide, horrified looks. "Don't talk about someone's body if you don't want yours talked about either."

"You little shit." Mark hisses and Rose steps closer to your side, an arm just barely in front of yours.

"What's going on here?" Emmetts voice grows louder as he approaches, his usual, carefree smile no longer on his face. He looked scarier than you've ever seen him. Mark and Tony looked at each other before slinking off.

Once they were gone you let out a dry, painful cough. You cover your mouth with the back of your hand and quickly grab your water and drink, soothing your throat. You could taste a tiny bit of iron in the back of your throat as you drank.

Rosalie calls your name softly. "Are you okay?"

You nod in response and take another sip of water. You didn't catch the look they gave each other or Rose gesturing for Emmett to speak.

"What happened, Tiny?" He asks in a quiet tone. You close the cap of your bottle and place it back in your bag. Your throat still ached but you knew the pain from using your larynx will linger.

You start to sign to him everything that occurred, from what you overheard in the morning to him approaching. You can see a flash of anger on his face but he goes back to that small smile. Once you explained your words to Rose and why you said them, a huge grin breaks out on his face.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Tiny." He laughs and pats your shoulder a little too firmly.

"Come, I'll walk you to class." Rosalie said with a soft tone. You nod and wave goodbye  to Emmett. You both start heading down the hallway, the blond next to you tense.

When you got to your class a pale hand stopped you. You look to Rose with a questioning look while her gold eyes avoid yours.

"I just wanted to say thank you for earlier." Rosalie says, the tense look she had fades into a small smile, her eyes meeting yours. You see some vulnerability in her usually guarded gaze. She gives your shoulder a squeeze before dropping her hand. "You didn't have to do that. I'm... admittedly used to that."

"No need to thank me, Rosalie." You smile back at her.

"I do, because not many would step up like that." She softly sighs and her smile grows a bit. You felt her words had more meaning to them, but you decided to not linger on them for now. "I know I've been slightly avoiding you but I have a hard time trusting hu- new people. But, after today, I think I want to open up a bit and be friends."

"I'd like that too." You beam. "Alice has been begging me to do a shopping trip, maybe the three of us can plan a trip soon."

"I'd... I'd like that." She almost looks like she is relieved and less guarded.

"Is your hand okay?"

"What?"

"Well, I saw you grip your locker and you dented it."

"Oh. Yeah, it's fine. I work on cars and my grip is strong. It's nothing." She holds out her hands and you saw just flawless skin. "Well, I will see you soon. Class is starting."

"Talk to you later." You wave and go to class. You sit down at your usual spot and start preparing. You sigh, irritated at the way those two spoke about Rose so loudly. But you also felt happy you and Rose were close now. Her bending the locker was suspicious... there were many things off with the Cullens that you've picked up, however, you don't linger on it. They have their quirks much like you have your own.

---

Edward lounged on the couch reading, back from his trip up to the Denali clan to clear his head. After witnessing that nightmare from you, he needed a moment alone to sort his thoughts. He wasn't sure what he felt afterwards but once he took some time to sort out his thoughts, he came back to Forks. None of the others knew what happened. He didn't tell them those details of your life, as none of them were privy to it. He wasn't either but that bridge has been crossed thanks to his ability and curiosity of the galaxy protecting your mind.

He felt guilt initially when he realized he deeply invaded your privacy. Then, despair and immense sadness followed when he recalls back to your nightmare, your past. Edward had seen many horrors in his long life, he even committed some when he'd hunt those men. However when he witnessed what you went through, he couldn't help feel a spark of protectiveness. You were nice. He found you a joy to be around despite it not being long since you transferred. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.

Edward couldn't help but smile when he thought back to you and him outside the fire station. It was a peaceful moment. He couldn't help but linger on the sight of you in his jacket, pointing out the stars and constellations. It was silent other than your internal thoughts. And when he got to witness your galaxy so at peace? He also felt a sense of tranquility he longs for.

Edward quickly put those thoughts away and resumed his attention his book when he heard his adoptive siblings come in. Alice and Jasper pass without saying to him, which he was slightly thankful for. However, Emmett and Rosalie lingered by him.

"How can I help you both?" Edward sighs, snapping the book closed as he looks at both of them.

Rose crosses her arms. "You need to come back tomorrow."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Yeah, Tiny happened." Emmett grinned and gestured to Rosalie. The blond sighed and let the memory replay of you standing up for her so Edward can see what happened today. He furrows his brows, setting his book down. He stands up from the couch and looks between the two.

"My guess is those two will probably retaliate against our friend one way or another." Rosalie says softly. Edward chooses not to point out how she said 'our friend.' "You spend the most time with them, they'll need you to stick around them the most."

Edward nods slowly. He recognizes Mark and Tony, and he knows they each have a class with him and you. He's heard the thoughts that spew from them both like garbage and he knows they aren't above getting back at someone.

"I'll come back tomorrow." He confirms. He wanted one more day to himself, but tomorrow is good as ever to face you again. He knows how you lost your voice and how you ended up living with your uncle and aunt now, but you don't know he knows. And he'll have to keep that in mind.

Although, Edward couldn't help but smile at the sound of your voice in Rosalie's memory. It was rough and hoarse, and it caused you pain, pain he doesn't want you feeling again... but it was nice hearing that voice that matches to the one in your head... when that space of yours is dropped.

---

You make your way to your locker first thing in the morning. You get yourself situated, grabbing the things you need for your classes before lunch. You set aside the folder where you kept your copies of notes for Edward down on the small shelf. You huff softly, throat still feeling sore from using your voice.

A familiar voice calling your name has you spinning around quickly, a smile instantly growing on your face. Edward approaches you with a small smile, looking the same as he did the last time you saw him.

"Glad to see you're feeling better." You grin, your mind flashing back to what Emmett signed to you in regards to Edward's health. You catch your friend's eyebrow twitch, a flash of annoyance on his face that he quickly recovered.

A Cullen quirk, you muse to yourself.

"Yeah. I'm doing a lot better now." He replies softly, standing  a little closer to you than usual.

"I have something for you." You see his eyebrow quirk as you turn back to your locker. You pull out the black folder and hand him it. "Notes for the classes we share."

Edward stares down at the folder before chuckling. He looks up at you and gives you brilliant smile, one that makes your heart flutter for just a moment. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Of course."

Suddenly, you feel hand on your back. Edward was standing much closer to you with an expression akin to a scowl as he stares off a little. He looks to you and smiles softly, though you can still see the tension on his face.

"We should get to the classroom. I'll probably have questions about what I missed." He says in a low voice. You nod, a little confused by his demeanor. You finish up with your locker and let him guide through the hallway, his cold hand still resting on the middle of your back.

You weren't aware of Tony's and Mark's presences until you both were walking by them to your first period classroom. You paid them no mind, keeping your focus ahead of you. Doing this, however, has you missing the deep and threatening glare from Edward towards the both of them.

As you both walked through the hallway, Edward felt that his non-existent blood boiling at the degrading, violent, and nasty thoughts those two were thinking. He knew they both weren't the best that Forks has to offer, their thoughts sometimes louder than others.

That protective urge he felt after witnessing your nightmare? It's working overtime now and he isn't completely sure why.

What Edward does know that he won't let them try anything towards you.

------

Taglist: @buckybarnes-1917​, @trawberry-fire​ , @dreamy-caramel​, @urgirlfriendspage @azazel-nyx @stinkii-boii @vanessalovesonedirection @sunnyisntthere @theatrenerd101601 @awesomebooklover17 @esposadomd @whichwitchisthebitch @bofadeezs @gons-dad-is-gon-e @kathsuhki @aoi-targaryen @srh-006 @onlyheretosimp

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x you #edward cullen x y/n #edward cullen imagines #edward cullen imagine #twilight #twilight saga #twilight edward #twilight edward cullen #twilight x reader #twilight x you #twilight x y/n #twilight imagines #twilight imagine #silent cosmos

[myunghology]

XIAO , SCARAMOUCHE , KAZUHA general relationship headcanons.

!! gender neutral reader, completely sfw, fluff. tw ? ; none ( song reco )

!! XIAO

you guys are definitely taking it slow, he still has to adjust y'know. even if he's over 2,000 years old, i doubt he's ever been in a romantic relationship. ( is that an insult ? ; maybe )

overprotective, doesn't care who it is, he just is. the only exception is probably zhongli and ganyu. still unsure about traveler, but i'm leaning to maybe yes.

"who's that? why are you acting so close with them? do i know them? have you mentioned them before?" "....xiao that's one of my family members." "oh."

easily flustered. he can either cover it up easily, or he can't. there's no in between, or that's up to you if you want to decide.

can't express his feeling's properly. this ones a little bit toxic, but if you didn't want accurate headcanons then i think you came to the wrong blog.

but you cant really blame him, he's naturally like that. and it's probably gonna take him a long time to actually open up about his feelings, but if you're an understanding and patient person, then that's better.

he'll probably ignore you if he's jealous, but i guess that's how he copes dawg

he'd want you to come to him first more than him actually confronting you.

but put all that aside- he gives you little things that reminded him of you whenever he goes somewhere. he would sometimes give you a random cute hairpin and said that it'd suit you, which it did.

that's what makes your relationship so cute, he does these little things that make you smile, like taking you out to places where he thinks it's pretty, just like you. he thinks. he does this because he doesn't know how else to express it. ( shakespeare could never amirite )

!! SCARAMOUCHE

mOTHERFUCKER NUMBER 2 WHO ALSO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS

it's ironic enough that him and xiao are similar in relationships, more so that they absolutely can't express their feelings properly.

but what's different is that he expresses it more aggressive about it. more passive-aggressive probably.

buys you stuff you want without even asking, if he sees you looking at it then he buys it for you the next day, maybe even something better, but still the same design.

you tell him to stop spending his money on you when you don't even need it, but he tells you to just be good and take it. you give in, because it'd be a waste if he bought it and he'd just give it right back after.

but if you like it that way, then he's your personal sugar daddy now congratulations

denies it whenever you call him out when he's being shy, especially when you flirt back, this guy is a hard flirt, only to you of course.

there may be tons of women or men who are into him, but he's only looking at you, if he wanted to cheat, he can. but he doesn't.

"i don't understand why you're so worried about that, you know i'll only always be with you." ( AGOI )

( HE SAY THAT IM GOOD ENOUGH GRABBIN MY DUHDUHDUH THINKIN BOUT SHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T HA-)

but then again, he also says straight forward about problems into a relationship, because he wants to avoid them in the future.

you guys fight sometimes, and i mean teasing by the way, not an actual fight. but fights aren't really rare when you're with him.

it's usually caused because of a misunderstanding.

they do say you fight with the people you love the most

!! KAZUHA

probably the most normal one out of all of them here i fear. sweetest boyfriend ever

bros the whole package

he says whatever's making him uncomfortable in a relationship and he encourages you to do the same and not be ashamed, probably because you two have already been through everything together once you've even started dating.

also he's a very understanding person, and he's willing to listen to you no matter what situation it is.

his love language is probably words of affirmation, saying he loves you out of the blue is his favorite part of the day.

"i love you so much" "..h..huh..?"

10x more soft spoken to you than he is to other people, i know his voice is naturally like that, but he can't help but treat you like your fragile, especially if you're emotional. but if you don't want him to, then he won't push it. especially if you don't like feeling belittled.

closeted sadist

won't force you to do things you don't want to do, but he definitely encourages you.

never and i mean never comments anything rude or disrespectful at you, especially about your appearance. the only things he comments are compliments.

but if you truly want advice for your looks then he'll recommend a hair, clothing switch or something like that, "maybe that would look better, but you really suit anything and everything" he says.

gives you love letters whenever he's away, probably once a week so you don't go overthinking. you don't have to worry about him cheating either, beidou has promised you that she'd tell you if he cheats ( and crush his testicles ) , and obviously, kazuha isn't that type of person, you'd know for sure.

#jian’s works! #xiao x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #xiao x y/n #xiao x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact #i was supposed to add yanqing but i lost motivation

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 2- caught masturbating w/ Lee know

⤷ warnings: Gn!reader x Sub!Minho masterbation, watching (?)

⤷ word count: 950

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

It was pathetic, really. You were just in the other room, watching some random show while Minho was lying flat on your bed with your underwear wrapped around his cock.

The pleasure was overwhelming. Stomach sinking in everytime he stroked himself.

As soon as he got home from work, he made a b-line straight to your shared  room. You found it strange yes, but maybe practice didn't go well that day. You get it, it can be stressful.So you opted into leaving him be for a while.

It was getting late and you decided to order food, not knowing if minho was awake. You decided to go to him. You knocked once, twice, before opening the door.

The sight had you shocked, not to say the least. You thought he was sleeping or maybe silently scrolling on his phone.

Minho instead, had his hand down on his cock with your underwear rubbing his tip accordingly.

You saw him pocket your underwear a couple of times, once after he found them on his bed while cleaning another after a while quickie. You also noticed a couple pairs going missing every once in a while.

Did you suspect him? Of course not. Garments like that are easy to loose, like socks. So you never questioned him.

When he notices you walked in, he looks at you and smiles. He turns his head back and starts stroking his cock even faster.

You start slowly walking towards him, closing the door behind you. The food long forgotten.

As you make it to the bed, you decided to situate yourself right besides him. Your hand rests lightly on his right thigh.

"Isn't this something?" You ask while rubbing your hand over the article wrapped around his tip. You see his back arch up a little before going back down.

"You like this don't you." he argues back, knowing you also put up a fight.

You guys never had rules about "not cumming". You thought it didn't matter, but maybe it did.

"Touch yourself again." He didn't realize his hand stopped moving until you told him to start stroking himself again.

He looks directly into your eyes while giving himself languid strokes.

Up and down, up and down. It was mesmerizing. You wanted him to wither away on your bed. Choking out sobs, begging you to let him cum.

"You were the ones stealing this, hm?" you broke the silence, asking the question while slapping the underwear on him.

He gasps before returning to his original demeanor.

"You didn't notice, baby" the nickname was tantalizing. Showing you he still had the upper hand. Though that wasn't apart of your 'plan' you wouldn't mind changing it up for your minho.

"Stop" you grab his wrist halting his movements.

"Let me go." No other emotions laced in his voice except desperation.

"You could easily remove my hand, you have been going to the gym more, no? Or are you just a little kitten? Can't do anything without his owner instructing him too." You don't know where that came from, the shock on his face was mimicking the one you felt internally.

He's the one who always called you kitten or referred to himself as your owner. He was the one who told you to stop, edging yourself for hours on end.

He fell silent, any sign of fight gone. He goes limp in your hold. Breath rigid. Cock head leaking pre-cum.

You rub your thumb over his slit causing him to moan. Moving the cum all around his cock, acting a lubricant.

"You liked that? Liked when you're dumbed down to nothing but a little whore? An insatiable little whore who always needs to cum?" He whines. Grabbing your wrist and moving it around on his cock.

"Please, s-shit. I needa cum." His voice was breaking, slight pants leaving his soft lips. Sweat was starting to bead against his forehead and neck.

"You wanna come?"

"yesyesyes, please I'm begging you."

You thought about it for a while, pondering some thoughts in your head.

"Okay then, you have to come in 10 seconds." You smile at his look on his face. The looked saying that he's fucked.

Ten.

He tried continuing with his original method after you came in, using your hand but it wasn't working.

Nine.

He started using his hand only, rubbing up and down at a fast pace. Moans slipping out of his mouth.

Eight.

When that wasn't working either, he tried two hands.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

As you were counting down, you were rubbing his thighs and stomach. Taunting him as a punishment.

When you reached four, he spit on his hands, running his thumb only over his tip.

Three.

He tried everything he could think of, but nothing was working.

Two.

He tried using both hands, desperate to cum within the time limit.

One.

But when you say one and you tell him to stop once again, he starts to tear up. Tears of frustration.

"Aww, too bad you didn't get to cum." You give him a kiss before lying on the bed next to him.

He sits up, shaking your thigh. "Baby please, I didn't get to cum" his voice weakening with every word.

"How sad. Go take a cold shower." You shut him up, wrapping your hands around his while closing your eyes.

"I fucking hate you"

"Love you too, pretty boy.

#stray kids #surfinminho #skz x reader #skz x you #stray kids smut #sub skz #sub!leeknow #✧ Kinktober - Lee know

[eldritch-spouse]

holy shit pinnie you really know how to write angst. i was reading your posts about Krulu killing the self of admin and i was flat out crying in my bed.

couple curiosities abt it though, is there any possibility that Admin could ever come back to their full self and is Krulu ever haunted by nightmares of Admin? (if he does sleep and dream that is. but i’m imagining like, Krulu finally getting a fitful night of rest and the moment he closes his eyes he’s greeted by admin back to their full self before being forced to lose them again by his own hands) Thank you for the wonderful content pinnie<3 your blog gives me great joy

[You're welcome! Really? Because most angst doesn't really inspire me. Stuff like "well, what if you killed yourself" or sporadic events that cause death just sort of tire me out. "What if reader cuts themselves?"/"what if reader is depressed?". I've grown very tired of those. The thing with you and Krulu was new.]

There were times after that specific scenario where I humored you coming back, but wrong. Not as an undead, but just fucked up. Something happened to your soul during the process, as is likely- Krulu has no idea how difficult it is to pry an intact soul from Dorem's hands these days. And you're clearly not the same person, everyone notices.

You lose track of things, you say stuff that you never would before, you seem genuinely apathetic over most of what goes on, in spite of the way Krulu trained you to feign care and respect. There are moments where that carefully drilled facade falters and you just look... Empty. Confused. As if asking why you're still alive. You're not truly there, some part of you was forever obliterated in this process, memories are missing, your capacity to love is non-existent, as is the ability to hate.

Sometimes, when you have nothing specific to do, you'll grab things that can potentially kill a human and just look at them for a long time. It goes against your indoctrinated mind to hurt yourself, because Krulu would take it as an insult- But you also know that you shouldn't be here. The keeper is calling for your soul. You're lost. Return to him.

Your bizarre behavior doesn't end there, as you've also taken to being amongst corpses when nothing calls to you. It seems right, why aren't you rotting?

You can survive without food for so much longer than you should have. In fact, you hardly have an appetite. You hardly feel pain. Or pleasure. Or most things. Something both the staff and Krulu do their best to collectively ignore.

The bucket tips when Krulu calls you to his floor and silently shows you the raven figurine.

And you, blank as a canvas, with wind in your mind, simply put on the smile you know he likes to see. There's no hint of recognition, no crumb of genuine thought, not even muscle memory seems to have stuck with you.

He's livid beyond words and meaning.

The next day, no one questions what's happening when you start your shift with the very same figurine protruding from your chest in a bloodied mess, where your heart supposedly is. You don't look to be in pain, or care much about it, but it's shattering their illusion.

Because now, they have no choice but to admit that even more irreversible damage was done to you.

Not just your body, but your soul.

In his effort to bring you back, Krulu made sure that there will never be a vestige of you ever again.

And if that's enough to make him want to bury himself under The Clergy to die and rot.

#Krulu oc

[nottoofondofgaypeople]

You should make a long post about Laurance

You are so lucky I got that Vylad ask before this... Ohhh boy

Full stop, this post is probably going to be one of the longest things I post on this Nether forsaken website. Laurance has been a comfort character since I first watched this series years ago in spite of all the bull shit Jesson put him through. I have many many many thoughts on him, and none of them will be organized.

I'm fairly confident that this post will get into some very unhinged territories, I cannot be normal about this man

I feel like this should go without saying, but all of the headcanons I have dumped onto Laurance on my main blog apply to this rewrite. Including this one which you have definitely all seen, and all Shadow Knight headcanons are also canon here.

But let's talk about this rewrite specifically. Because when Laurance comes back from the Nether, and he confesses his love, the mother fucker does it! He actually gets Irena to say she at least feels something towards him! It isn't much, but she doesn't get all awkward when he says that he loves her, and she's supremely gentle with him while helping him with his recovery. This really quickly turns into romance and the two are effectively dating shortly after.

Yeah Laurance's eyes aren't magically fucking cured to perfection, that's stupid an abelist.

Actually, because I want peak recovery arc material out of this rewrite Laurance is going to get to spend a lot of time learning how to fight with this new form. His body has been pretty significantly altered from the process of undeath and also the torture. I'm so for real when I say Laurance has so many scars, just so many of them, 18 million scars all over his everything. He already had some from being a stupid fucking child, but these ones are a lot uhm... bigger.

Laurance has to adjust to the new symptoms of his body. A lot of them are slow, appearing over time. The first major thing Laurance notices is that when he stops thinking of breathing for long enough, he just stops breathing. Shadow Knights don't need to breathe, so their body doesn't naturally do it. But Laurance never fully died, so he kind of does need to breathe?? And this is just where it starts.

I think the doll symptoms start kicking in a lot slower than I initially thought of. There's still the first time that it happens, but then it doesn't happen as often. Maybe once or twice, but the next time Laurance really deals with that is during the Season 1 finale (but it isn't Garroth that knocks him out (but that's a whole post unto itself)). Going into Season 2 though, it gets worse and worse. As the Shadow King has more influence over the Overworld, the calling gets stronger and stronger.

More often than not the calling manifests as a whisper in the back of Laurance's mind, something that sends a tingle down his spine and not in a good way. His blood runs hot, and he can feel his body pulled to Irena. Like his blood is tied to her life force and constantly trying to bring her to it. And any time he's around her, that voice gets louder, starts multiplying as he fights it, all of them demanding him to kill, to do it, to free himself of the burden, to gain eternal life.

Laurance doesn't want eternal life though!! He never has!! He wants to fall in love and start a family and grow old with his partners!!

Okay so going into Laurance's childhood a bit, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Laurance is the mcd equivalent of a theater kid and yet somehow fumbled in choosing his class and ended up as a fighter instead of a bard, the goof. He picked up the Lyre when he was a teenager, mostly because his father bought one and expressed an interest in teaching Laurance how to play, and he was all over that.

He stops playing it when he goes to the guard academy cause they just don't have instruments there (which is a crime), but he does still spend a lot of time remembering songs and finger placements, mans is doing whatever he can to make sure he doesn't fall out of practice. When Laurance comes back to Meteli as an official guard he celebrates by having a party in the town and finally getting to play his beloved lyre again.

He doesn't play it as much when he's a guard, but he always tries to stay in practice. And he won't let any blindness get in the way either, his muscle memory is so on point he barely needs his eyes unless he's reading sheet music, which is usually right in front of him.

I could seriously go into a whole character analysis of comparing Laurance to Orpheus, specifically from Hadestown, like I really want to, but I'll restrain myself to just the general myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Laurance really thought he could walk into hell and defy the gods. He really thought he could just do that. And even when he was faced with punishment, when Orpheus was forced to stay in the Underworld in her place, he endured it all for her. And actually this is so funky the roles are kind of reversed. Because Irena is the one who can't turn around to look at Laurance when they're running out of hell. If she does, she will die. That is guaranteed. Eurydice has always acted in the assurance of her survival. Unlike Orpheus in the same position, she can manage to not turn her head.

Hhhhhhg Laarmau as Orpheus and Eurydice is literally everything to me you don't understand.

And yes Laurance being Orpheus coded is why I gave him a Lyre, I won't even deny that. Like, c'mon, Laurance very earnestly trying to earn Irena's affection and saying "I also play the lyre" and Irena snarking back "A liar and a player too? I've met too many men like you." I'm--

Stay focused!! This is not the Hadestown post!!

What if Laurance was like obscenely physically affectionate? Like he's so so so physical, he loves having a point of contact with someone at all times. It doesn't have to be anything big either. He just likes wrapping his arm around Garroth's shoulder, or having Irena play with his hair. It was something important before the Shadow Knight transformation, and he only needed it more as time went on. The feeling of his lovers heartbeat reminds him he's alive.

And other people touching him reminds Laurance he still has this body. In spite of all the Shadow Kings control, he has control of his own body in this moment and he is using that control to show love and care and that matters to him more than anything. He likes holding hands, putting his hands on people, having other people do the same, even the smallest amount of affection is enough for him to selfishly crave more.

Laury likes singing a lot. His voice got a little deeper after the Shadow Knight thing because his vocal chords got just a little shredded in the Nether, but he still loves singing and singing with his friends and lovers. Laurance singing some sappy love song to Garroth who is just completely smitten, or singing some silly little campfire song to boost Cadenza's mood when she's having a bad day.

THE TABLE BIT!! I simply adore the table bit!! All of it! And it's even better in my rewrite cause even if the dialogue and the scene plays out almost exactly the same, they're in love while doing this silly bit!! Such fucking dorks I want to throw them against concrete.

Thinking about Laurance and Ungrith. Laurance finding this wyvern in the forest while exploring one day and befriending it almost instantly because Laurance is just a very kind person. Even if Ungrith isn't allowed to be with his brethren, it's okay because this weird fuckin kid is really entertaining and a genuinely great friend. I know it isn't possible but a scene where Laurance, Garroth, and their wyvern childhood friends get to hang out and talk would probably fix all my problems.

Raven doesn't literally anyone but Garroth touch him, but when Irena tells him about Ungrith, he's willing to let Laurance pet his scales or whatever you do to show affection to a flying lizard. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

Laurance's favorite place to kiss other people is on the cheeks, but his favorite spot to be kissed is the forehead. I think that he doesn't admit this to people, rather lets them figure it out. Both Garroth and Irena figure out Laurance likes kissing their cheeks a lot, like he does it constantly, especially because Garroth has freckles and Laurance is determined to kiss every single one of them.

Garroth is the one who learns about Laurance's affinity for forehead kisses cause he's only like two inches taller than Laurance, but that difference matters a lot to both of them. And Garroth can tell very easily from the way Laurance always loves looking up at him with those big doe eyes. Once he tells Irena this, she starts asking Laurance to bend over or kneel in front of her so she can kiss his forehead very tenderly.

Because I made Garrancemau polycule real in my rewrite, Laurance's calling latched onto Irena, but man oh man, it tempts him with Garroth sometimes. He fights so hard to protect Irena partially because if she dies by someone else's hands, he knows it'll latch onto Garroth. And sometimes the calling urges him towards it anyway, considering it'll work. A calling is best answered by the death of a lord, but the death of another guard isn't always a bad thing.

Every time Laurance runs from his lovers to fight the calling he feels so cold without them. Like if he bothers to try sleeping while on his own it just feels so cold. So empty. It doesn't feel right to try to sleep without Irena in his arms and Garroth snuggled up behind him and a blanket over the three of them.

I think Laurance cries a lot. He doesn't really have hang ups about showing his emotional side until he's a shadow knight, and even after, he only tries to hide his anger. He never hides his anguish, his sadness, his absolute misery as a result of the nightmare he was forced to live through. Laurance's crying is so loud, so wretched, almost agonizing for him. It forces his entire body to shake and tremble, sobs being wrung out of him almost forcefully.

I want. him. to be okay. and happy. and I know he won't be. Aughfhhg.

#minecraft diaries #mcd rewrite #minecraft diaries rewrite #text post #aphblr #mcd headcanons #writing #laurance zvahl #laurance mcd #minecraft diaries garroth #garroth ro'meave #mcd aphmau #mcd cadenza #mcd kenmur #way too long #so many words #gay block men

[vicsy]

are u okay vic? sending love xx

(hateful ppl only have hate in their sad lives and try to bring everyone else down to their depressing level, don’t listen them!!)

frankly, anon? no, i am not.

and if you think about it, it's incredibly stupid to be all torn up because of a fucking sport I watch for general enjoyment but what else is new? i got into f1 when life hit the absolute possible low for me and it helped me immensely through it all, still does, and i found so many friends and wonderful people and i started writing again. it's pure fucking escapism coming back to bite me in the ass.

it hasn't been great to be an f1 fan lately because of events I don't need to be recapping - it's all out there in its disgusting glory, all over social media every single day. we're just being reminded of how rotten the core of this sport is and how high of a role money and power play. it's not new but disappointing nevertheless, considering there isn't much we can do to try and fix that.

but the hate among us, the fans? it's getting out of hand.

i will never go out on my way to police anyone's behaviour (it is never justified) but clearly there is a line between haha jokes and pure fucking malice. there is having genuine, critical conversations you can have (recently had one with my close friend and it was so refreshing to talk instead of secretly talk shit) and using this sport as a yardstick to measure someone's morals. it's been happening more and more, considering recent comments made by drivers in regards to the ongoing case that deals with harassment. that opened a can of worms that made ALL of us unhappy and even more disappointed, in one way of another. there is expressing genuine opinion and then there is being a hater because it's a trend.

are all Charles fans insane? are all Daniel fans delusional misogynists? are all Lando fans insufferable pricks? are all Max fans outright racists? are all Lewis fans stuck up? I could go on and same sentiment goes for each team on the grid. can we rightfully define someone by who they are a fan of? are we all required to make a statement each time a driver says/does something mindnumbingly stupid in order to, god forbid, not get cancelled along with that driver? can we genuinely bring a driver up without shitting on the other or is it not mutually exclusive?

there has been a barrage of hate towards several drivers and i get it, i do, it's sports, we're always gonna get like this. it's the whole spirit of it. i am not saying we can't root for someone and talk shit about the other. but again, i am seeing the waves of hate getting bigger and bolder, assumptions being made on the spot. people openly calling each other stupid over being fans or having a different opinion. in some ways any sense of compassion and critical thinking is dead in a ditch.

it wasn't like this before, if i am honest, but i am also a rather new fan. i am seeing all sorts of stuff on my dash both from people i don't know and from people i do know. it's a knee jerk reaction, to go and judge someone by posts and stuff, i know it but i made myself not do that. but i am just afraid of this ongoing trend of hate. i really am.

it just seems like there is no margin for error. your fave can either be squeaky clean, completely unproblematic, or they should be shot on sight. it doesn't matter if any of us acknowledge it or not. for some reason, it's a "you are what you eat" situation. and i find it rather unfair. you can separate person and a driver. two things can be true at once etc etc. none of it warrants wishing actual harm on other people.

so yeah, sorry for a rant. i'll stop now and, for what it's worth, i have been trying to unlearn the ways of "people pleasing", so here are just my thoughts that i don't think many will agree with but i don't want to bend under whatever popular opinions circulate here (especially by "big blogs"). i'd rather have people talk to me personally and i am always open to having a conversation, making friends and discussing opinions. those at the head of f1 management don't seem to do better but us tearing each other apart can also mean that we aren't doing any better, too. at least i personally think so. don't take my word as a generalized opinion.

thank you for the message, anon, i appreciate it. sorry again to be Like That. big hug!

#asks #personal #not tagging it #also the hate Lance got for his crash will never not be astounding

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm trying to picture the logical outcome of that rhetoric going around about how we should all reblog people's art and fan content out of the goodness of our hearts--like just to satisfy everybody's cravings for attention, as opposed to reblogging if and when we actually like something enough to want it on our own blogs. I mean there's no other reason NOT to reblog something than that you just don't enjoy it enough, so the only reason to press people about reblogs is to override that basic lack of desire and pleasure. With that said:

Let's say person X is earnestly writing and recording really shitty music. You don't like it, but you feel duty-bound to make them happy by acting like you think it's good so you reblog it, all of it, every time. And let's also say your supposedly heroic urge to promote things you don't believe in, to make your blog represent stuff you don't actually care for just to create a feeling of artificial popularity for someone else, catches on, and we all start doing it. Now everyone is playing music they don't like, or are even indifferent to, and we're putting it on all of our blogs, like you're covering your room in posters for something totally uninspiring, that you're only involved with out of pity. And then one day we all find ourselves middle-aged and tired without that much money or energy to go around, and we're still dragging our asses to shows that start too late and go too late, trudging from the bar to the bathroom as the only way of breaking up the monotony of politely sticking it out until your friend goes on--who actually isn't even your friend, they're just some rando on social media who everyone collectively decided to boost out of the misguided notion that we are all owed zillions of notes and followers just because we want them, and now this person gets to go about their days imagining that they're deservedly famous and never learning things like, for instance, you should make art for your own personal satisfaction and not to get everyone else's approval, or that being loved by a few people who really understand you is better than being popular with masses of strangers, or that there are forms of success that aren't just doing numbers on some cretinous website.

One of the more important parts of the above is, person X is not your friend, they're just some guy. In real life, there is a good probability that you will sometimes have a friend who makes bad art or bad music or writes bad poetry etc, and you will feel obligated to go to their show/reading/etc and act supportive and come up with nice things to say until you're exhausted to the point of death. And you sacrifice your time and comfort like this because X is someone in your life who you care about, even if it doesn't feel completely honest to be this positive about everything they do, it's worth it because you're invested in how they feel (this is providing you don't have more of a tough love relationship, which is maybe ideal, but not everybody does so well with that, so ANYWAY). And if you're part of an actual community of artists, everybody winds up buying each other's zines and being the only people at each other's shows and basically just passing the same $10 bill around in a circle forever and man is THAT exhausting, but at least you all know the score, even if no one is saying it.

But what I'm saying is, this is the burden of relationships, the result of not being able to necessarily choose who you love. The most common type of relationship on Tumblr is between strangers; I will never know anything about the vast majority of people whose posts I see, even that I like. I will make some friends and acquaintances, but for the most part I'm here to have my own experience, to follow people because I like what they do, to interact with their stuff for no reason other than that I enjoy it. So for me, the Tumblr pitch is basically "Come to this site, people post all kinds of cool shit and you can amuse yourself for hours!" The pitch should not be "Come to this site where people will conspire to make a charity case out of you by making you think they like your stuff when they really don't," nor should it be "Come to this site where you have a moral obligation to help promote all kinds of random crap you might think is lame or boring, but you're forced to because you feel sorry for strangers who make bad art and you don't think they should have to learn that no one owes them a successful artistic career and popularity isn't everything!" I mean that is a nightmare. If you're lucky you'll have enough of that going on in your real life that you definitely won't want to join a website where you have to do it for people you don't even know. If you're extra lucky, you'll never have to do anything like this at all!

PS If half your likes and reblogs are inspired by charity and not informed by your actual taste, then your approval becomes totally meaningless and nobody should care what you have to say. Same goes for always agreeing with whoever is talking to you and always saying you're sorry even if no one asked for an apology. It's a way of being a liar. You turn your own word into mud.

[hotchs-big-hands]

Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.

I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.

Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.

I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.

As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.

They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".

Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.

*********************

They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.

They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.

*********************

I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.

We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.

Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.

*********************

Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.

*********************

In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.

One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.

But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖

#vent post #tw vent #tw: self harm #tw suicide #tw self harm #a speaks

[jacksprostate]

Was just wondering how you manage to replicate palahniuk’s style so well and also obviously write his characters?

Love your blog btw!

There's a few things that go into it!

Firstly, I have the advantage of, according to my friends, before I read any of his stuff my style was already kind of Chuck adjacent. I tend to be very rhythmic in my writing, I do like to have little repetitions, I like fun descriptions — similar to how he focuses on things reading aloud well, and favoring offbeat descriptions, his little ritual words, etc. That's my biggest secret, I just already wrote pretty close to it without knowing, so I didn't have a whole lot to change. Similar dog learning new tricks sort of deal. That said, there IS stuff I actively think about, especially with regard to character voice:

There's some things I'd call window dressing — minor changes that make it more recognizable. This would be things such as: the narrator does not get put in quotes, slips into 2nd person, using a rhythm where the dialogue tag goes in front (generally Tyler says, blah, not blah, Tyler says). That also makes it feel more active and present. I also like to outright include the occasional line from the book as a referential repetition, or a spoof on a line, I think that's the fun of fanfiction. But if those lines stand out glaringly it can be a sign you either need to change your style or maybe you're just trying to stick it somewhere it doesn't belong.

There's some bigger things: sentence variation is another thing I've invested pretty heavily in on my own and something I highly recommend any writer get in the habit of, but in trying to match his character voice I do consciously feel for when something is getting too long, specifically. The key with Chuck is he can have long sentences, but they're made out of short ideas. Long sentences often become grammatically incorrect as they're separate ideas jammed together for rhythm and sense.

He also shies away from adjectives; I kind of ignore this because I love a good adjective, but I've learned from it by making sure each one is impactful in its own way. Avoid superfluousness, keep things moving. He also shies away from stereotypical descriptions, I enjoyed building my confidence making weird ones. It's something I'm keeping going forward.

Another thing with his style is he loves fun facts. Fortunately I also love fun facts. To do those you have to keep it relevant, symbolic/metaphorical, purposeful, and simple. You can totally get complex, but only using simple building blocks. It's not to show everyone you know something, it's to build a little cliff to push the narrator off of. People don't need the detailed rockwork.

He often has little... almost like an aside? The narrator will ramble or think about something else for a little bit before getting back to the present. That shaky hold on the Now contrasts with how action focused everything is and allows moments of rest even if its still action.

As for character voice, the narrator; by following the above, you can get most of it, and then remembering his general view of the world to keep things in theme. He shouldn't be happy. He should have a lot of surpressed rage. Etc. Good character writing starts with a good understanding of the character, and that's real important for whoever your pov is. Always important to check if stuff passes the "he wouldn't fucking say that" test. When I have dialogue for him, it's almost an extension of his thoughts. I mentally read it to myself with the dull affect Ed Norton used for the movie monologue, really that shit was perfect. I usually can't keep a voice in my head like that but that one... yeah.

Tyler on the other hand I have to be pretty conscious about, sometimes I'll go back through the book and read some of his lines. He tends to be very direct. Very rarely uses names, it's tempting to use psycho boy or ikea boy all the time but it's the devil speaking. Tyler is direct, always serious even when he's laughing, his statements are not mitigated at all, if he is saying a pet name it is for its own impact not to soften any sort of statement. Rhythmically I find this directness difficult sometimes, but the 'Tyler says' dialogue tag makes it feel like a religious call and response on the narrators part and serves to soften things — but have that be the narrator's perspective and choice, not Tyler's. It's pretty heavily repeated in the book. Tyler also requires a "He would not fucking say that" test and I think I've gotten better at his dialogue over time (ex: retroactively, Tyler's dialogue in my psychoactive fish story s u c k s. I mean, it works, but I didn't really have a strong grasp on him at the time and while the actions sound like him, the words and delivery don't. Now though I think my snippets and the dildo fic are pretty strong!) A lot of it is just practice and tuning your ear. Reference the original material and try to dissect it.

Hope this makes sense :) if there's anything specific where you're like "how'd you write that" I can try to answer. Glad you enjoy my blog!

#asks #my writing #tagging because it's adjacent ig #not actually writing though

[ferretwhomst]

putting this undwr a readmore not because it's triggering or anything but it's just Long and related to boards and i don't really want to see that when i scroll on my blog. anyways

not super thrilled about tomorrow. it's my french oral board exam and orals always send me into this horrible spiral because i tend to freeze up and overthink what i'm about to say and forget words at the worst possible time. it's too spontaneous for me !!! and as a guy with autism and anxiety, improvising is literally my Weakest link. well ok the roleplay always goes fine because a. you kind of have a set template as to how to reply, and b. you get 10 minutes to think about how you're going to respond before going into the exam. but that only counts for 10 marks; the full thing is 40 marks and the bulk of that is covered by the two topic conversations. it's a huge gamble as to what topics i get and if i get ones which i'm not super sure about i tend to fumble immensely

honestly when i think about the bigger picture i don't even know What i'm upset about. i scored really well in mocks (35/40) and even in the test series before that, the time i thought i TOTALLY FLUBBED the topic conversations, i still got 31/40. that's not a bad mark at all. i think my anxiety just exaggerates how badly i do on these and doubly so because french is one of my favorite subjects and i'm GOOD at it. but yeah. even without taking marks into consideration it's just really bothersome to me how unpredictable orals are, could Not be worse for my anxiety 😔

actually, i forgot to mention that during boards they don't even release timings for the orals. you just report to the classroom at the allotted time and who goes in what order is not revealed, at all, until that moment when they have to go in and answer the questions. which is total bullshit and as you can imagine is only making me more fucking terrified about tomorrow

also: the rest of my boards officially start on the 26th of april so why do french orals have to be shoved in my face so damn early :/ obviously it'll be nice to get it over with sooner, but if i fumble i'll have to sit and try to make peace with that for like 2 weeks extra?

ALSO also idk if i've talked about this here but my mom is really into vedic astrology and shit and ended up raising me to be the most superstitious and paranoid individual alive (everyone cheer for my undiagnosed probable ocd swag). and not only is mercury retrograde currently on but also tomorrow is amavasya/no moon day and both of these are supposed to be unlucky as hell And God I Am Scared. genuinely my paranoia gets so bad during this time of year whenever i do anything i start worrying about the worst case scenario. because bad stuff ALWAYS HAPPENS during mercury retrograde and i'm scared it'll happen tomorrow at the worst possible time ☹️ man i hate being superstitious why can't i just be whimsical

small win though: despite mercury retrograde, at least the printer worked tonight when i was printing out vocab sheets

#for context a. my first memory of mom mentioning mercury retrograde was me as a kid asking why the printer wasn't working #and also it usually fucks up at the worst possible time during mercury retrograde HSNDKWMA #also don't feel obligated to reply to this this is kind of just me talking to myself #it'd be nice but you don't have to #ferret rambles

[kanmom51]

Hi i saw your post about jikook filming and taking pictures of e/o thru the years...i started tearing up a lil bit.

i'm kinda mad at all the jikook blogs that keeps appearing in my feed lately i'm not following any of them but i do follow the #jikook tag, i even blocked some out of anger because they keep saying jikook are distanced and shit over what exactly? because no new SNS media of the two of them for the past few days??? i admit it's a jikook drought but isn't y'all reaction too much? can't we just appreciate their bond without speculating and speaking for their bond without knowing absolutely nothing that's going on in their lives rn? we don't know shit! and that's it! but if there's ANYthing i'm damn sure about it's jimin and jungkook and their love.

i'm really in need of some wholesome jikook accounts that celebrate sweet and lovely jikook moments, i'm new to tumblr so i'm kinda lost...so i followed you ^v^ you seem like a very adorable and fun mom hehe i think i like your space a lot <3

have a good day!!!

Thank you for your kind words @tinygoo  and welcome to my blog.

💜💜

I kind of feel like maybe not all, but most of the 'jikook blogs' that are talking about them being distant were either not jikook blogs to start with or are more about the shipping and not supporting, expecting or feeling owed the content (like these are two puppets and not actual humans living their day to day lives).

I kind of feel like those that talk about them being distant are mostly young and immature with zero to no good loving and long term relationship experience.

But there are also MANY trolls utilizing this insecurity (which I for one don't get anymore - it comes in waves, it is always proven to be wrong time after time, and still it doesn't seem to go away). They hide as supposed jikook blogs or call themselves ex-jikookers, but they were never believers or supporters of the couple to begin with, and you can see it if you stay around long enough and read all their posts or comments. For the life of me, I do not understand people wasting their time and energy to try and convince people that a certain pair are not a couple, not a couple anymore or were never a couple. Like, I believe that JM and JK are a couple. Do I go to TKK accounts and try to convince them TKK aren't a couple, or try to convince them that Jikook are? Nope. I just don't get it.

This story of distant Jikook has been going on for exactly a year now. Starting when they got back from LA.

All while it was the exact same situation - not seeing them together, not having them to interact AT ALL on SM. stories of them being distant, them breaking up, JK cheating on JM, JM being with a new lover, and it goes on and on and on. All total bullshit. All totally baseless made up fanfics. All because people just cannot see them as two normal (yet super talented and successful) human beings actually having a normal long term loving relationship.

And every single time it gains traction, it's proven wrong by their behaviour with each other, things they say or do or even things we hear from other members (cough Hobi cough).

As you said: "we don't know shit". Not what they are doing workwise (apart from a vague knowledge JM is working on his album), what they are doing in their spare time, who they are spending their time with at work and in their free time (out and about or at home).

There is sooooooo much Jikook content, and although I'd love to get some new content, I do understand their need to stay private and silent at the moment.

So, why not enjoy what they have given us up to this point?

Anyway, I'm babbling away here. Lovely to have you onboard. Hope you enjoy the content in this blog, I will do my best to continue to add more and more in the new year too (I feel like it helps with missing them so much).

And I will take this opportunity to wish you and all my readers Happy new year. 💜💜  

#ask #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM

[anachronistic-falsehood]

Hi Weird Question, but how many followers would you ballpark say you have gotten from posting about qsmp?

I ask this because Ive been on tumblr for a LONG while, I have run multiple fandom blogs and this is the worst follow to notes ratio I have ever gotten for a blog (it is relativity new as well though). I don't want to sound weird and complain about the number of followers I have, but of the 523 posts in my blog, 38 are original posts. I have 236 notes total from those 38. and zero followers. compared to when one of my other blogs was at this size I would have somewhere of a ballpark of 10ish especially with a few posts chilling way above the average of 6 notes

I feel like this could be an issue much like the issue pertaining to people not reblogging stuff, but also I may need to reevaluate the way im interacting with people on this site >_<.

that's kind of a hard question bc i was gaining followers from the trigun fandom very shortly before i started posting about qsmp, so there was a period of overlap, but i guess when i switched to posting primarily about qsmp i would say i've gained approx. 350-400 followers. i typically get anywhere between 100-1000 notes on any qsmp post i make (excluding liveblogging) and i am apparently a more popular blog because i write fanfiction and make analysis posts on occasion which has made me weirdly well known in some places of the fandom and that is terrifying i hate being perceived HELP

ANYWAY i think a better blog to use as an example would be when i had to use a new blog because this one was unfairly flagged for a couple weeks. i used a previously unused sideblog to liveblog and make posts on since posts on my main wouldn't show up in the main tags. i typically got a fair amount of notes, anywhere between 50 to 200 on each post, but i only ended up with maybe 4 or 5 followers on that blog (excluding mutuals i had advised to follow that blog as a backup in case my main went down forever [which it didn't thank fuck]).

honestly?? i assume the lack of following is because a lot of people in this fandom are very wary. qsmpblr likes to hail itself as better than twitter (and it is in some respects for sure, i'm not denying that), but it feels like everyone in this fandom has some kind of Opinion on Something at all times. there's always something to complain about or criticize about anything, whether it be the admins, an event, another cc's character, a cc themself, etc etc. if you follow a person you will be subjected to all of their opinions on every single issue that pops up, even if it's just a dismissal of whatever current discourse is making its way through the tag (and i'm guilty of this myself sometimes, i'm no angel here). there is not a single day that goes by without something negative crossing my dash regarding something that's going on with the smp. doesn't matter what it is, someone will have something to say about some kind of issue no matter what, and that shit gets tiring. sometimes it's better not to follow people lest you find yourself bombarded with opinions. that way you can still scroll your dash without worrying about seeing untagged discourse and infighting and criticism.

#idk that's just. what i think i guess??? #i get tired seeing all the negativity on my dash sometimes #sometimes i just wanna scroll without being subjected to #“this character is being mean to my favourite character and i hate that cc is doing that” #“this character doesn't understand this character and the cc ALWAYS plays characters like that i think he's actually an asshole” #“you're ableist if you dislike this character” #it's just. there's always a fucking ISSUE with SOMETHING and it drives me up the wall #to the point where i have almost unfollowed people over it #qsmp

[dualityvn]

You didn’t do anything wrong Keith, I did something wrong.

I don’t really know how to start this but, a while back, I did a really bad thing without realizing it was as bad as it was, and hurt you severely, Keith. It didn’t hit me how much harm I had done in the moment, it was just an ask for a character on a blog. I didn’t think it was anything more than that, I thought it didn’t matter because you wouldn’t remember.

When I found out that you would in fact remember, I panicked and tried to minimize by making jokes, pretending I wasn’t feeling guilty. In turn I only caused more pain.

This was all done on anon, after a few feeble, weak, and all around pathetic apologies (which where also done on anon) I just stopped bringing it up, I kept interacting and being affectionate with the two of you, I was scared to lose the two of you and I still am.

Regardless of this all, what’s done is done, and I caused you stress and pain, if I meant to or not. And I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for taking so long to give you a proper apology. I’m sorry for being a coward and hiding behind anon.

And I’m so sorry for hurting you, the both of you. I’m sorry I enabled others to try the same by not immediately coming out and condemning my actions. I’m sorry for betraying your trust and letting you think I was all rainbows and sunshine.

Not a day goes by I don’t feel guilt for what I caused.

“Proud?? Proud?!?! What the hell is wrong with you Keith!!”

You had done something you thought was necessary for the sake of the relationship, and I insulted you in a way that cut deep, I even threw salt in the wound with a shitty copypasta apologie.

I caused a spiral, and at the time, didn’t try as much as I should have to help or comfort you. I was convinced even if I had hurt you, I was in the right, and to scold you was the right thing to do. And I soon realized I couldn’t give less of a shit about what was right. I hurt you, after I had said I never would, and it’s one of my biggest fuck ups.

And now I walk around a Hypocrite, I’m sorry for that as well.

I debated never saying anything at all, but you two deserve better than that.

I’m really sorry.

"I see. So that was you. Thank you for telling me, that must've been hard. To be honest, that did hurt. Not because you were scolding me, but because I knew you only did it to get a reaction out of me. I knew you wanted and expected it of me. Otherwise... I suppose it's not fun.

But you're different now. You don't like seeing me hurt and you don't treat me like mere words on a page. I'm really grateful for that. So I forgive you." - Keith

"...And what if we did forget it? Would you have done it again? Played out the same scenario with you praising us in one version and berating us in the other? Would you feel no guilt if we acted like nothing happened?" - Tenebris

#duality game #yandere #dating sim #visual novel #duality keith #duality tenebris

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon]

Hi! Your blog has become one of my absolute favorites super quickly! I love how much thought you put into your work whenever you post, it’s wonderful! You’ve even gotten me into characters I hadn’t even put much thought into previously, and it’s been a joy to explore your interpretations of them.

With that being said, I’d love to know if you have any hcs for what marriage and “official consort” life would be like with Radahn and Morgott, and anyone else if this happens to resonate with you for other characters.

Anyways, thank you for your time, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your night!

Morning, anon, and thank you so very much for your kind words. I try my best and I'm truly glad you enjoy my blog!

Now, without further ado:

Regarding Morgott:

Morgott never thought he'd get married. In fact, he was certain he'd remain alone for the rest of his life.

So when he actually does get married, not only is he shocked (despite proposing and his consort saying yes, quite happily might I add) during the engagement period, but maintains his disbelief even after the vows have been said and the ink is dry. Even years after the wedding, I can see him having moments where he's like, "By the Erdtree, I am married." Yes, Morgott, you are married.

It's an adjustment period for both parties. Morgott because he's so used to being alone and his days filled with relative silence. It was deafening, really. Now he's never known a livelier household. For his consort, I'd imagine the idea of being Lord/Lady of Leyndell is so daunting. What if they don't make a good consort? What if they never connect to the people? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STEPS? Not to fear, however, their lovely King is there to help them.

The day-to-day affairs can be (read: are) boring, though. Even Morgott admits to that, but his consort spends the first couple of years getting to know the logistics and responsibilities of co-ruling and Morgott is there every step of the way.

Eventually, they become confident enough to voice their own opinions regarding certain legislation. I can see his consort being particularly vocal when it comes to the treatment of Omens and the Shunning Grounds.

Morgott is the Brains and his consort is the Heart. They make a pretty effective team.

They also teach Morgott the value of self-care and adequate sleep.

Their mornings and nights will always be spent with each other.

Making out in the throne room is pretty hot, too.

Regarding Radahn: (Spoiler alert: my next Radahn x Reader fic is actually about him proposing.)

WHOOO, boy, he's like a kid in a candy shop.

His loved ones have never seen him so excited before. He may get a bit too excited sometimes because random objects in his vicinity start gravitating in midair.

One of the best damn days in his life was his wedding. He may or may not have cried.

Radahn is so damn honored that his consort said yes. He promises to make them the happiest spouse in the Lands Between. And he will make do on that promise.

Actually, both parties promise each other that and given how Radagon and Rennala's marriage ended, they hold each other to it.

Nothing really changes in their relationship other than Radahn becoming more protective even if they know how to defend themselves. And he continues to spoil the shit out of his consort. Wherever he goes, they will be at his side. Or in his arms. Hell, their feet would never touch the ground if he had his way.

Double the attention for Leonard.

Double the kisses and laughter for the couple.

If they argue, of course, it'll never last long.

Now his men have another parent. One who also blesses them with horrible dad humor.

Radahn has something to truly fight for. He fights with all the ferocity in the world so he can come back to his consort's arms once again.

I also like to think that it was also during his engagement that he had one of the most open conversations with Radagon since marrying Marika. Of course, he doesn't get the whole story though I think Radagon would have alluded to it. Radahn leaves the conversation with renewed conviction and Radagon silently prays their marriage is a loving one. But then he remembers how determined his son is and knows he has nothing to worry about. Radahn carries his lovely mother's spirit after all...

#morgott the omen king #starscourge radahn #elden ring #elden crack. #crackcanon. #morgott x reader #radahn x reader

[escape-from-arcadia]

Oh btw I don't think I talked about it here (tldr at the end):

My internet use is a lot more sporadic than it used to be. This goes for Tumblr, Discord, and Instagram. Life is chaotic now as I scramble to finish summer assignments, fit my life into boxes to be unpacked in an itty bitty dorm room, and manage some family matters. My social battery is also dead. Like, I fill it up for a little bit to get me to say hi, but as soon as I start talking to someone, it dies.

But aside from life things and my social battery that desperately needs replacing, I don't want to be online as often as I used to be. I'm still going to be liking and reblogging content here from time to time, but I'm not going to be combing through tags (or my dashboard) as often as I did, say, a year ago.

This mainly stems from me learning to draw things for myself without sharing them with anyone (internet artist culture is whack sometimes). Also, rather than mindless doodles or faces, I'd like to incorporate more narrative/symbolism into my art, and post that. Kind of like that one Claire request I did, actually. Idk, I'm seeing art I'm inspired by in different fandoms right now, and I want to try my hand at it.

But, uh, maybe important thing to mention, my hand hurts from holding a pencil these days. When I say I've been drawing almost daily for extended periods of time these past two or three months (4-6+ hr...), I am not joking. My (over)work ethic for different projects this summer may or may not have had physical consequences on me. Whoops. Art can't exactly happen right now no matter how much I want it to.

ALSO, I do want to note: I see the two requests sent back in July still sitting in my inbox and I think 'SHIT I need to finish those.' I'm probably putting in more effort than I should trying to come up with interesting compositions, narratives, outfits, etc. etc. But I want it to look good!! Because I love these requests!! I need my hand to rest first though.

TLDR; I'm not going to be online much + this blog isn't going to be as active anymore. Working on liking/improving my art + finding direction. Hand is DYING though. Will finish requests when aforementioned hand is NOT dying.

#not toa #vent #ig? just in case. #more like a general notice/update. #deleting later #honestly i'm thanking my lucky stars I don't have a visart course this semester. #i'd probably die if i had one lol.