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#way too long
raggedy-dxctor · 4 months
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fit psyching himself up to flirt with pac:
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gaydexvocaloid · 1 year
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🥀 🌸 🍏 🥕
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kazonandoff · 1 month
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LN 5 and Maomao
Finished 5. Read the prologue to 6. That was a fascinating read and actually pretty sad.
Maomao and Jinshi finally get intimate but neither of them enjoyed it. Comes from Jinshi trying to force the relationship along and I won't talk about that, there's a great post here somewhere of someone else discussing Jinshi's side of things. I wanna talk about Maomao.
If Jinshi has a warped view of relationships, then Maomao is just as bad, of not worse. She talks about how she's incapable of love but I think that's 1) not entirely true and 2) hugely affected by the environment she grew up in.
(BTW if you relate to Maomao as aro/ace that's awesome and I'm not taking that away from you. This is just my interpretation of things).
Maomao has been born and raised in an environment where relationships are a commodity. There's little emotion involved besides the base desires. Without even bringing up her parents, Maomao's sisters have been essential in her viewing relationships this way. Pairin taught her, against her will, how to use sex as a tool and as part of power play. Meimei taught her the best relationships are the ones that give you money and a secure future. And Joka taught her men are duplicitous and will always find a way to hurt or betray you in the end. None of this thinking exactly engenders love in a romantic sense.
So you can probably imagine what this kind of environment does to a young woman's thinking. Maomao is a pragmatic realist and has not a single romantic bone to her body. But she still very much cares.
When presented with 2 young girls in desperate circumstances, the most she can do is make sure they understand the severity of their decision to sell themselves to Verdigris House. When Chou-u starts running around town, she warns him of the dangers of rape and abduction. And when Jinshi comes to her door and says he wants company, she offers him Verdigris services.
And that's the problem. Jinshi wanting her specifically is not something she's currently emotionally equipped to deal with. The definition she's been given of love is that it's a very bad and dangerous thing. So she handles her love for Jinshi in the only way she currently knows how: as a child of the pleasure district, born and raised.
And I'm very sure she loves him. When Jinshi is being himself, without the posturing and machismo, she likes being with him very much. She likes touching him and she likes taking care of him. She just can't really express that yet in a healthy way. Relationships and love are still viewed by the lens of the pleasure district.
So when cornered and pinned down (literally) she turns to the only tactics she knows. The ones her sisters taught her. As a courtesan.
So yes, they got physical, they got intimate. But neither of them particularly liked it. Jinshi is left feeling shamed and Maomao is unsatisfied. Dealing with things the courtesan way is not enough for her anymore. And Jinshi dealing with things the way a person of authority would isn't cutting it. They're not master and servant anymore, not customer and courtesan.
So, in conclusion to this rather long ramble that I am writing half asleep and on only one cup of coffee: these stupid kids need to start communicating.
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lucdoodle · 1 year
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Joey Drew
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chaotic-anonymous · 3 months
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After so many months, I've finally made Wally a friend! I could've been done a lot faster but school was a pain! So present to you, Barnaby B. Beagle!
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I also have Home but I haven't given Home a face. I might finish Home today if I have the motivation.
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streetlightgoblin · 8 months
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Plumagetale!dream belongs to @crowbinsillywingedguys
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Is he tiny or is the tree just massive
Who knows, certainly not I
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aetherialpiplup108 · 4 months
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How the Alchemy of Souls Season 1 Ending Perfectly Demonstrates Yeong's Guilt, Uk's Persistence, and the Beauty of their Bond
I should hate the ending of Alchemy of Souls season 1. Jin Mu's random contrived bells showing up and being used as a pivotal series-defining plot-point in the same episode drives me just as insane as it did Mu-deok. And it kills me to watch two characters who are defined by their ability to challenge the world and resist fate succumb to its pressures (note: I don't think this is a flaw in the series since it's simply a fraction of the overarching theme the story is trying to convey but boy did it hurt). I should have been so massively disappointed and yet the climax itself runs rent-free in my head a full year after I saw it for the first time.
First of all, we finally get sword-fighting Yeong again and in the absolute worst way possible. It creates this wonderful cognitive dissonance in your head where you're simultaneously crying in angst while cheering on Jung So-min as she puts on the performance we've been longing for the entire show.
Next, there's the behemoth stabbing scene itself. When Mu-deok regains consciousness in Uk's arms, there's a brief look of confusion in her eyes likely due to the gaps in her memory, the heaving of his voice, the desperate way his arms are wrapped around her, or maybe even the blood seeping between them. But the first thing she says even before processing everything is: "Jang Uk? ...Did I do this?"
Despite embracing the ruthless assassin lifestyle (a hard path she undertook due to the love she felt for her family and the immense grief felt in their loss), Yeong does care about other people. We know this through the way she slyly sneaks in affection towards Uk, helps Yul heal and let go of the guilt he's held onto since running into her as children, and offers Go-won an esoteric companionship they both come to value greatly. In season 2, through amnesiac!Yeong, we're given an even clearer glimpse at her intrinsic compassion through the unhidden empathy she shows to practically everyone she meets.
But the real Cho-Yeong spent years of isolation in Danhyanggok's cruel winters training, breathing, and living for revenge. Knowing only how to kill and draw blood, of course Yeong believed she'd end up hurting anyone stupid enough to come too close. It's why her first instinct is to shear off every potential bond she could make: to protect herself from any more loss and to protect others from her. When it became impossible to deny the love she and Uk shared, Yeong chose to wield it callously to avoid getting attached, to remind him and her that she wasn't round-faced Mu-deok who was free to earn and give affection. She was Naksu. Undeserving, dangerous, poisonous Naksu. We see this thought process and self-denial make a reoccurrence in season 2 when Yeong immediately distances herself from Uk the second she gets her memories back, even if it agonizes her, because she can't bear to hurt him again.
Rather than assigning blame to Jin Mu, she takes her sword through Uk's chest as mere confirmation of what she always believed: how could the ruthless shadow assassin that lives off revenge be allowed to love and be loved?
Yeong's guilt is especially ironic when paired with Jang Uk having no doubt in his mind that she's innocent. He gets stabbed and just pulls her close before he's even able to process what's going on because they'd been there before at Jeojingak when he had her hold a sword to his neck.
Jang Uk is the first and only person, really, to hold complete confidence not in Yeong's prowess as a mage but in her character and ability to care. And it means more because as her pupil, he's the person (aside from herself) that Yeong's been the harshest with. She continually put his life in danger whether through poison or overtraining or by inciting death matches, and hurts him again and again with words and actions (gambling the jade egg) meant to prod right at his insecurities. Yeong had thought this would be enough to keep him at bay, to force him into a transactional relationship where she wasn't afraid he'd run away too soon and yet wouldn't let herself build up hope that he'd actually stay when the terms of their initial agreement were met.
Except.
Uk had already seen glimpses of that lonely girl Yeong buried inside and actually tried to understand her, failing at times but doing his best to make sense of the way she thinks without judgement. In the process, he realized just how much Yeong values the people she loves, how much she wants to protect those who've shown her even the ounce of kindness she doesn't think she deserves. That's how he knows, instinctively, that she couldn't have stabbed him. It's how he knows she wouldn't even fight Dang-gu (although, I'm not sure if he was aware that she killed Cho-yeon's father before arriving in the forest). Because how could someone who's so grateful for the love they deem themselves undeserving of cast it aside so easily?
And finally, because somewhere along the way this post devolved from a loosely structured rant over one scene to a frantic gush over these two ridiculously endearing characters, the beauty of the climax is shown in the way Uk just watches helplessly as Yeong struggles and breaks down in a way so uncharacteristic of the stoic, emotion-swallowing woman who could only say "I like you" under copious amounts of alcohol. It's so unbelievably soft (idk, maybe I'm just a lunatic) when he slowly searches for her hand, using the last pieces of his strength and then some to lace their wounded fingers together, somehow managing to use his entire blood-soaked body in the last 2 minutes to show her that she has his entire heart, whether she deserved it or not, and there wasn't anything she could do that would make him leave.
of course, these are just my interpretations of the characters. Maybe I'm completely off or reading way too much into it.
tl;dr: I have a lot of criticism for certain aspects of Alchemy of Souls, but the relationship Jang Uk and Cho Yeong share is so powerful. Though tragic and shockingly reliant on plot-convenience, the finale of season 1 depicts their relationship beautifully by illustrating the depth of their trust and reliance on the other. Also, UkYeong has rooted itself thoroughly in my head. I've never been so invested in a ship, someone send help!!!!!
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mystic-insanity · 10 months
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Round 2 with another scene~  Mob AU by clownsuu
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This took...several days to finish, I've just had such low energy for it but..it's done. (Though I've begun to debate on keeping Mystic a {part-time} singer in this AU.. we'll see)
Speedpaint
 Simply put: character bot an I were just batting a ball back and forth and this scene spawned. 
Mystic hears word of some rivals dropping by the club just to see..to see why Wally's club is such talk and everything. An Mystic (very much being me xD) is a bit competitive, and is like "mm...I gotta show off~ Time to make Wally look fantastic!" XDDD So she starts pulling all the stops while preforming including spending a bit of her attention on the rival, even slipping his cigar away, taking a puff, and then giving it back. After that she goes to Wally and puts the majority of her attention on him, stealing his drink and taking a sip...
 She regrets both these actions after because in the moment: Beautiful, chefs kiss, very confident ver pretty, get all those men's hearts...
Afterwards.. She just tastes all of it and is like "Worth it...maybe" (Dislikes alcohol and smoking) 
 But yeah... This is one of some scenes, and ideas I've had. 
 Barnaby an her are not the best together..they tolerate each other but..Barnaby doesn't like her very much xDD An he has decent reason: Mystics snarky and opinionated as hell. 
Howdy is basically a childhood friend, so yee they have a good bond there. First time drawing both of them too so~ I think they turned out pretty alright ^^
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nottoofondofgaypeople · 3 months
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You should make a long post about Laurance
You are so lucky I got that Vylad ask before this... Ohhh boy
Full stop, this post is probably going to be one of the longest things I post on this Nether forsaken website. Laurance has been a comfort character since I first watched this series years ago in spite of all the bull shit Jesson put him through. I have many many many thoughts on him, and none of them will be organized.
I'm fairly confident that this post will get into some very unhinged territories, I cannot be normal about this man
I feel like this should go without saying, but all of the headcanons I have dumped onto Laurance on my main blog apply to this rewrite. Including this one which you have definitely all seen, and all Shadow Knight headcanons are also canon here.
But let's talk about this rewrite specifically. Because when Laurance comes back from the Nether, and he confesses his love, the mother fucker does it! He actually gets Irena to say she at least feels something towards him! It isn't much, but she doesn't get all awkward when he says that he loves her, and she's supremely gentle with him while helping him with his recovery. This really quickly turns into romance and the two are effectively dating shortly after.
Yeah Laurance's eyes aren't magically fucking cured to perfection, that's stupid an abelist.
Actually, because I want peak recovery arc material out of this rewrite Laurance is going to get to spend a lot of time learning how to fight with this new form. His body has been pretty significantly altered from the process of undeath and also the torture. I'm so for real when I say Laurance has so many scars, just so many of them, 18 million scars all over his everything. He already had some from being a stupid fucking child, but these ones are a lot uhm... bigger.
Laurance has to adjust to the new symptoms of his body. A lot of them are slow, appearing over time. The first major thing Laurance notices is that when he stops thinking of breathing for long enough, he just stops breathing. Shadow Knights don't need to breathe, so their body doesn't naturally do it. But Laurance never fully died, so he kind of does need to breathe?? And this is just where it starts.
I think the doll symptoms start kicking in a lot slower than I initially thought of. There's still the first time that it happens, but then it doesn't happen as often. Maybe once or twice, but the next time Laurance really deals with that is during the Season 1 finale (but it isn't Garroth that knocks him out (but that's a whole post unto itself)). Going into Season 2 though, it gets worse and worse. As the Shadow King has more influence over the Overworld, the calling gets stronger and stronger.
More often than not the calling manifests as a whisper in the back of Laurance's mind, something that sends a tingle down his spine and not in a good way. His blood runs hot, and he can feel his body pulled to Irena. Like his blood is tied to her life force and constantly trying to bring her to it. And any time he's around her, that voice gets louder, starts multiplying as he fights it, all of them demanding him to kill, to do it, to free himself of the burden, to gain eternal life.
Laurance doesn't want eternal life though!! He never has!! He wants to fall in love and start a family and grow old with his partners!!
Okay so going into Laurance's childhood a bit, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Laurance is the mcd equivalent of a theater kid and yet somehow fumbled in choosing his class and ended up as a fighter instead of a bard, the goof. He picked up the Lyre when he was a teenager, mostly because his father bought one and expressed an interest in teaching Laurance how to play, and he was all over that.
He stops playing it when he goes to the guard academy cause they just don't have instruments there (which is a crime), but he does still spend a lot of time remembering songs and finger placements, mans is doing whatever he can to make sure he doesn't fall out of practice. When Laurance comes back to Meteli as an official guard he celebrates by having a party in the town and finally getting to play his beloved lyre again.
He doesn't play it as much when he's a guard, but he always tries to stay in practice. And he won't let any blindness get in the way either, his muscle memory is so on point he barely needs his eyes unless he's reading sheet music, which is usually right in front of him.
I could seriously go into a whole character analysis of comparing Laurance to Orpheus, specifically from Hadestown, like I really want to, but I'll restrain myself to just the general myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Laurance really thought he could walk into hell and defy the gods. He really thought he could just do that. And even when he was faced with punishment, when Orpheus was forced to stay in the Underworld in her place, he endured it all for her. And actually this is so funky the roles are kind of reversed. Because Irena is the one who can't turn around to look at Laurance when they're running out of hell. If she does, she will die. That is guaranteed. Eurydice has always acted in the assurance of her survival. Unlike Orpheus in the same position, she can manage to not turn her head.
Hhhhhhg Laarmau as Orpheus and Eurydice is literally everything to me you don't understand.
And yes Laurance being Orpheus coded is why I gave him a Lyre, I won't even deny that. Like, c'mon, Laurance very earnestly trying to earn Irena's affection and saying "I also play the lyre" and Irena snarking back "A liar and a player too? I've met too many men like you." I'm--
Stay focused!! This is not the Hadestown post!!
What if Laurance was like obscenely physically affectionate? Like he's so so so physical, he loves having a point of contact with someone at all times. It doesn't have to be anything big either. He just likes wrapping his arm around Garroth's shoulder, or having Irena play with his hair. It was something important before the Shadow Knight transformation, and he only needed it more as time went on. The feeling of his lovers heartbeat reminds him he's alive.
And other people touching him reminds Laurance he still has this body. In spite of all the Shadow Kings control, he has control of his own body in this moment and he is using that control to show love and care and that matters to him more than anything. He likes holding hands, putting his hands on people, having other people do the same, even the smallest amount of affection is enough for him to selfishly crave more.
Laury likes singing a lot. His voice got a little deeper after the Shadow Knight thing because his vocal chords got just a little shredded in the Nether, but he still loves singing and singing with his friends and lovers. Laurance singing some sappy love song to Garroth who is just completely smitten, or singing some silly little campfire song to boost Cadenza's mood when she's having a bad day.
THE TABLE BIT!! I simply adore the table bit!! All of it! And it's even better in my rewrite cause even if the dialogue and the scene plays out almost exactly the same, they're in love while doing this silly bit!! Such fucking dorks I want to throw them against concrete.
Thinking about Laurance and Ungrith. Laurance finding this wyvern in the forest while exploring one day and befriending it almost instantly because Laurance is just a very kind person. Even if Ungrith isn't allowed to be with his brethren, it's okay because this weird fuckin kid is really entertaining and a genuinely great friend. I know it isn't possible but a scene where Laurance, Garroth, and their wyvern childhood friends get to hang out and talk would probably fix all my problems.
Raven doesn't literally anyone but Garroth touch him, but when Irena tells him about Ungrith, he's willing to let Laurance pet his scales or whatever you do to show affection to a flying lizard. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.
Laurance's favorite place to kiss other people is on the cheeks, but his favorite spot to be kissed is the forehead. I think that he doesn't admit this to people, rather lets them figure it out. Both Garroth and Irena figure out Laurance likes kissing their cheeks a lot, like he does it constantly, especially because Garroth has freckles and Laurance is determined to kiss every single one of them.
Garroth is the one who learns about Laurance's affinity for forehead kisses cause he's only like two inches taller than Laurance, but that difference matters a lot to both of them. And Garroth can tell very easily from the way Laurance always loves looking up at him with those big doe eyes. Once he tells Irena this, she starts asking Laurance to bend over or kneel in front of her so she can kiss his forehead very tenderly.
Because I made Garrancemau polycule real in my rewrite, Laurance's calling latched onto Irena, but man oh man, it tempts him with Garroth sometimes. He fights so hard to protect Irena partially because if she dies by someone else's hands, he knows it'll latch onto Garroth. And sometimes the calling urges him towards it anyway, considering it'll work. A calling is best answered by the death of a lord, but the death of another guard isn't always a bad thing.
Every time Laurance runs from his lovers to fight the calling he feels so cold without them. Like if he bothers to try sleeping while on his own it just feels so cold. So empty. It doesn't feel right to try to sleep without Irena in his arms and Garroth snuggled up behind him and a blanket over the three of them.
I think Laurance cries a lot. He doesn't really have hang ups about showing his emotional side until he's a shadow knight, and even after, he only tries to hide his anger. He never hides his anguish, his sadness, his absolute misery as a result of the nightmare he was forced to live through. Laurance's crying is so loud, so wretched, almost agonizing for him. It forces his entire body to shake and tremble, sobs being wrung out of him almost forcefully.
I want. him. to be okay. and happy. and I know he won't be. Aughfhhg.
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sarejima · 4 months
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what ships do you like??
Sorry this took so long to answer(and that its so long lol). I started watching SP barely 2 months ago so haven't really had the chance to think about it and draw out some pairings yet; this was really helpful to me too!
Stan: don't particularly ship Stan w anyone except maybe Wendy. I love him but he's a bit too actively self-centered. I kinda compartmentalize ships in my head between aesthetics and vibes, and aesthetics-wise I find both Stan and Craig look good w Kenny.
Bunny: idk I just like it. Both are compassionate and sweet and rlly high energy but have qualities the other lacks and could learn from. Kenny is stubborn and indignant- he knows what he wants and isn't concerned with judgement(while never to the detriment of others)- due to Butters' upbringing he foregoes this entirely, although you can tell he wants to change. With both's selflessness and patience they're more than capable of meeting in the middle. Kenny is also really socially adept- he seamlessly rides the flow of conversations which Butters with his naive openness would let sweep him away. This openness however is Butters' greatest strength; he's principled and prone to forgiveness and seeing the good in people, as well as being surprisingly emotionally mature(he also has a not-so-well-hidden crazy side which im sure Kenny would appreciate)
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Kyman: Eric is obsessed with Kyle- its more than obvious- obsessed in ways that would rub off on anyone given the his very nature. This shows itself at times that contrast well with the others' indifference. Their personalities fit almost a bit too well- Cartman the passionate sadistic antagonist and Kyle equally so the imposer of morality. They're both leaders and big personalities in their own right and it's clear that Cartman's strong feelings can go both ways so it may just work out.
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Creek: still have 6 seasons to go till I get there but it's easy to see how perfect they are- Craig especially needs someone who relies on him and gives him a sense of purpose and a focus for his attention, spicing up his life and saving him from his own listlessness little by little while expanding his comfort zone
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(Actually drew this one before lol. I just thought it fit the description)
Token/Tolkien: I rlly love Token- he's compassionate and patient and willing to indulge others- not for the sake of it tho, as he's very grounded and sensible enough to know more or less what will or won't benefit him. He's also extremely loyal and a team player- qualities which make me kinda ship him with Clyde. I love the idea of him having to compensate for or accomodate for the other's (lack of) proactiveness/outgoingness. Clyde's laziness being an excuse for Token to fuss over him and devote time to helping him academically and in general(this also works with Craig). I also kinda ship him with Bebe for the opposite reason- rhe only reason I prefer Clyde however is Token's sensitivity; it may be quite easy for her to take advantage of his kindness(Actually I prefer him w Wendy much for for this)
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Thanks for reading if you got to the end of this lol (о´∀`о)
And sorry there are probably spelling mistakes(and that my handwriting sucks lol)
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dr-mp3 · 5 months
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i tried my hand at drawing coyle and honestly I dunno how I feel about it. i mean it came out way better than I expected but he doesn't look old and like an asshole he just looks like pitbull also honest question if anyone sees this please tell me what you think his height is I'm convinced its at least below 6ft
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Having a roomba is funny because sometimes a cat will zoom out of a room it’s in and you just KNOW it spooked the shit outta them somehow
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codenamesazanka · 1 year
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so the heteromorph discrimination plotline had seemed to explode into the manga with Chapter 370 when the story switched battles to the site of Central Hospital where Spinner is leading disgruntled heteromorphs to retrieve Kurogiri;
though the story did hint it would be addressed since Chapter 310 when Ordinary Woman (big heteromorph gal) was attacked by civilians because they didn’t like they was she looked;
and the first time we got confirmation that such prejudice exists in the HeroAca world was Chapter 220, when the League massacres a bunch of CRC bigots and Spinner’s backstory was revealed (that he suffered through such discrimination all his life and was finally motivated to do something about suffocating in the pervasive heteromorphobic hostile environment - among other things - when he saw Stain on TV);
but I think the story did well to hint at this issue throughout the manga in the background. I would say the first ever hint we get is all the way in Chapter 5, when Deku arrived on his first day at UA and noticed his classroom door was huge:
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Has to be accessible to everyone, he says, and that greatly stood out to me.
Because, see, heteromorphic discrimination isn't just judging people by their looks - which is often the go-to discrimination allegory fiction uses, usually based on the irl social construction of race and the issue of racism; nor is it being prejudiced against people with superpowers, because this is a world where 80% of the population have a superpower and having a quirk is accepted (in fact, not having a quirk is considered strange and unusual); rather, heteromorphic discrimination in the HeroAca World takes elements from, yeah, racism, but also ableism.
In this world, quirks gives people a wide, wide diversity of appearances - different body sizes, shapes, anatomy, functions. And different people have different needs. Someone with a quirk that gives them a tail would need a hole cut into their pants so their tail can go through and they can actually wear the pants. Someone who's really, really tall - whether because they have a giraffe neck quirk or just a big body size quirk - would need buildings to have doors that fit them.
How is this ableism? Well, one big issue in disability rights is accommodation. As wikipedia puts it:
Disability discrimination, which treats non-disabled individuals as the standard of 'normal living', results in public and private places and services, educational settings, and social services that are built to serve 'standard' people, thereby excluding those with various disabilities.
A wheelchair user can't go up steps. An event that communicates only through talking would not allow deaf people to participate fully. A world where only abled-bodied people can travel, can communicate, can exist is one that excludes disabled people, preventing them from being full members of their community, and this is the definition of discrimination.
Heteromorphs and people with body-altering quirks in HeroAca world aren't disabled. However, they do have atypical bodies and sometimes unique requirements to live regularly as anyone else. If this impedes their daily functioning, then they would have what can be classified as an impairment. If that impairment causes them to face a barrier that stops them from interacting with other people and the larger outside world, then it can be classified as a disability.
This fluid nature of what can be classified as an impairment or disability means depending on the situation, an able-bodied person can technically experience barriers similar to what disabled people experience.
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This is the social model of disability. That
the origins of disability [are] the mental attitudes and physical structures of society, rather than a medical condition faced by an individual...
the most significant barrier for individuals with disabilities is not the disability itself; rather the most significant barrier is the environment in which a person with a disability must interact. Society disables people, through designing everything to meet the needs of the majority of people who are not disabled.
So, if someone with lots of limbs and appendages can't find clothes that fit them, they cannot go outside without violating public decency laws. If someone who's really big can't fit through a standard door and enter buildings, they're effectively blocked from going to school, public transportation, work, etc. This is best illustrated and pointed out explicitly by Kamayan, a character with a giant mantis quirk:
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He's from Vigilantes, but the problem he faces is something Horikoshi has already considered, hence the panel from Chapter 5 above.
In fact, Mt. Lady also faced this problem in Chapter 1, when she is unable to fight a Villain and save Bakugou because she's unable to enter a street:
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Luckily for Mt. Lady, her quirk allows her to shrink to normal size. But imagine if she was just big like that always. She would be unable to go anywhere. There probably is a quirk out there that is just that: makes someone big, all the time.
These quirks are individual issues. They can technically be viewed as a personal problem, and if the person is unhappy with their situation, then it's up to them to get it 'fixed'. However, that sort of defeats the purpose of having a quirk and accepting that this world is one where everyone has a quirk and should be allowed to exist as they are. Plus, heteromorphs are a significant portion of society.
Rather than telling people whose quirks makes them super tall to stay home - and this would be exclusion and discrimination - why not just build bigger doors and buildings? UA does this, and they're in the right. However, as Kamayan and Mt. Lady (Big Mode) shows, there are still places that don't do this. As Kamayan notes:
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All the way in the beginning of the story in Chapter 5, the issue of accessibility in regards to atypical bodies. Because heteromorphs are people who have atypical bodies, they are most likely to face issues of accommodations. If they do, and they are unable to live well under the current status quo, then yeah, what they go through would be discrimination. Most heteromorphs we see in the series seem to be getting by okay, but it's easy to imagine that they can and have faced barriers because of their body-altering quirks:
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Ojiro requires his clothes to be altered. Shoji is apparently unable to wear a coat, and needs a poncho-like garment in cold weather. These aren't big issues because as Ojiro's profile states: "altering clothing have become standard practice at clothing stores", but a store can also easily just refuse to do so. A store can refuse to serve heteromorph customers because they find tailoring annoying. They don't need to hate and insult heteromorphs for it to be discrimination; they just have to not care.
(does it also cause more money, to ask for alterations? Is it something that gives heteromorphs financial issues, if they need different enough accommodations?)
However, often when a minority bring up an issue they face to the majority and suggest addressing it, the apathy can quickly change to annoyance. Actually, any kind of annoyance can mutate into outright disdain and prejudice. In a span of a second, the majority can go from indifferent, maybe even mildly supportive (as long as it doesn't inconvenience them), to hostility with a desire to remind the minority they're different, they're unwanted, they are not quite human, not like the majority.
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Chapter 56 shows this attitude exactly. Tsuragamae Kenji is the Chief of Police, but when he suggested something that someone found disagreeable, he is quickly disrespected and called a 'mutt' (in the original Japanese, 「この犬…」 "this dog...").
This would probably be considered a microaggression, calling someone with an animal-heteromorphic-quirk an animal. The first instance of microaggression in the manga is actually in Chapter 6, in which Shoji is asked if he's an 'gorilla' or 'octopus'. This was actually addressed as such in Chapter 371! The next instance is Chapter 21, in which Officer Sansa is subjected to the stereotype of... not being a police dog, I guess?)
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They're just microaggression, words that come and go, perhaps, but the attitudes that give microaggression space to exist stem from the same place as anti-acceptance on the level of denying accessibility.
The examples of anti-acceptance so far talked about in this post is relatively minor, and actually just hinted at. However, in Chapter 57, we are given a rather extreme example of body modification in order to fit the 'norm'. In Chapter 57, we meet Daikaku Miyagi, whose appearance is very notable in that one of his horns look like it was cut off. Turns out, that's exactly what happened.
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Daikaku Miyagi was praised this deed, as it was considered being considerate of his TV audiences . It's true this is a personal decision, and he can do whatever he feels is best for him, but one has to wonder about why instead of news stations accommodating easily editable visual presentations, the fix is chopping off a healthy body part.
The extra notes that describe his situation calls it 'rejection of Quirks'. In the same chapter, Gran Torino calls the current era "an age of suppression". Rejection, suppression - we are shown that this is a quirk society that hasn't actually embraced and accommodated quirks. Rather, quirk use is banned and a norm is defined that everyone is encouraged to follow. That seems simple enough when your quirk is an emitter that you can just not emit from your body.
So what happens when your quirk *is* your body? Which brings up questions of how heteromorphs live in such a society. Is using an extra appendage quirk use? If you have a full-body heteromorphic quirk and you get in a tussle in the heat of the moment, is that regular assault or is quirk use added onto the charges? People with quirks that gives them a 'scary' heteromorphic appearance - is that why it looks like these kind of people dominate the role of villains? The first Villain the reader ever sees in the manga is a heteromorph (the purse-snatcher). As is the second (Sludge Villain). Most of the crowd of Villains that Shigaraki brings to invade UA seems to be heteromorphs, actually.
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One or two heteromorphic villains is just two randos running around. When it becomes a pattern that most Villains in HeroAca seem to be heteromorphs, the 'why' needs to be asked and a cause identified. Is it because they feel suppressed, as Gran Torino says? Rejected because of their appearance and quirks? If being a heteromorph means a higher chance of receiving microaggressions and being excluded from society - pushed to the margins, and left to do questionable things to survive - and a high chances of falling into Villainy, there is probably an societal problem.
All this is in the first 100 chapters. Similar to the development of Villains and the causes of that villany, the issue that heteromorphs face isn't focused on - they're scary looking villains, the issues brought up about Hero Society is vaguely implied. Horikoshi himself said he didn't expand on the Villains much at first on purpose because he wanted them unknowable and scary.
Of course, I would say Heteromorph Discrimination is a subsection within a larger category of Quirk Discrimination. Or maybe in-universe, this can be a type of 'intersectionality'. Toga's backstory in Chapter 227 is the failure of quirk counseling, but as we see in Chapter 370, about 150 chapters after Chapter 227, quirk counseling has also failed heteromorphs because it's 'one size fits all' simply was not equip to deal with the inherent variability of heteromorphic quirks. Meanwhile, the concept of 'kegare' - impurity - that's first introduced by the CRC in Chapter 220 and expanded on in Shouji's backstory recently in Chatper 371, being a base for why heteromorphs are hated in the countryside - that they defile the land and taint others - is also something that can apply to quirks like Shigaraki's and Toga's: decay/death and blood are things that would be considered 'impure' and thus avoided.
In anycase, throughout the manga, we're give subtle, background examples of issues heteromorphs face, like accessibility, dehumanization, making up a higher proportions of villains. Altogether, it pointed to plain discrimination, of which a lifetime of experiencing can wear a person hollow. To quote Shigaraki/Tenko, "it built up...little by little, over time". And then it exploded, but the fuse had been slowly burning for quite a while.
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demodraws0606 · 5 months
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Getting to the end of the purgatory event and most likely getting immediatly hit with the fucking rollercoaster cc!BBH has prepared for us is gonna actually end me (why is he saying its not time yet for his new skin im gonna DIE)
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Made a movie poster for my Curse of Strahd campaign! (Reference is below the cut)
This took way too long to complete, so i hope yall enjoy it!
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bornetoblood · 1 year
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Moon Divorce Essay
2004 words about why I think Laurence the First Vicar and Gehrman the First Hunter are married
Sorry about this.
We’ll begin with the concept that Laurence and Gehrman are integral to the overall plot of Bloodborne and interlinked so that it is impossible to speak of one while disregarding the other. The Healing Chruch (thus all of its actions, subsects and influences) likely wouldn’t have formed without both of them. Similarly, the creation of The Hunter’s Dream relies on the two’s pact with the Moon Presence. As is its perpetuation reliant solely on one’s belief in the other. Through this lens, the relationship between the First Vicar and Hunter can be seen as the basis for every aspect of Bloodborne’s plot- a throughline to the game's events. They- when taken as a whole- act as a microcosm for Bloodborne’s themes of violence, ambition, and how both cause a loss of humanity. The game, at least in part, hinges on the lengths that they will go to uphold promises they’ve made to each other.
Through Laurence’s link to Byrgenwerth and Gehrman’s connection to the Orphan of Kos- as well as his appearance in the Old Hunter’s trailer within the Fishing Hamlet- we can infer that they are both in some way connected to the massacre and the desecration of Kos’ corpse. This is of course supported by the implication that they are both somehow haunted by it as Laurence (or at least his consciousness) is trapped within the nightmare and Gehrman experiences distressing dreams. The creation of The Hunter’s Nightmare and the discovery of the Old Blood can be interpreted as the inciting events of the game’s plot within Yharnam- or at least mostly removed from the Pthumarians. Both of these events set the immediate framework for the Good Hunter’s night in Yharnam and both of them revolve around these two characters. 
The discovery of the Blood led directly to the founding of the Healing Church and- as Master Willem describes it- Laurence’s “betrayal” of Byrgenwerth. This is most likely about Laurence’s departure from the college due to his conflicting ideals with the Provost. Willem however (albeit in cut dialogue) refers to a similar “betrayal” by Gehrman, implying that they departed together or in ways that are at least viewed the same by Willem. There is more legitimacy in the speculation that they were working together, however. The Old Hunter’s Workshop is located within the grounds of the Church and Ludwig’s hunters are referred to as a sort of replacement for Gehrman’s lot. This presents the hunters and the Chruch as linked from their conception. Gehrman and his Workshop Hunters’ worked secretly to dispose of what few beasts sprang up around Yharnam and Laurence’s Church enjoyed a safe environment to grow. 
Another way in which Gehrman and Laurence (as a collective) shape the world of Bloodborne is through the Hunter’s Dream. “Laurence and his associates beckoned the Nameless Moon Presence” as a note in the Lecture Hall states. One of these “associates” is clearly Gehrman, as his connection to the Dream is undeniable. He acts as the caretaker and mentor to its hunters ad infinitum. The Hunter’s Dream is the backbone of Bloodborne’s gameplay- a loop of violence, death, and rebirth until obstacles are overcome. Once again, Laurence and Gehrman’s actions as a collective are integral.
Solidifying the two’s connection to both the Dream and each other is the game’s music. Both Laurence and Gehrman’s boss themes borrow melodies from Flora’s (although it is very hard to hear in Laurence’s).
Yet their connection to the Dream goes deeper than structure. Its creation (and the subsequent fallout) is the centre of their interconnection. There is a cut conversation that proceeds as follows:
Laurence: So you’re intent on hunting beasts? Even if they are men? Gehrman: Yes, the hunt must go on. It’s all that keeps us human, now. Laurence: But why must you… Gehrman: Farewell Laurence. I await the realisation of your ‘ministration.’ Laurence: Indeed, Gehrman. It won’t be long. We can infer that this is about the creation of the Dream as it is a farewell. Laurence is checking that Gehrman is alright with continuing the hunt and Gehrman confirms and promises he’ll wait for him. The “realisation of ‘ministration’” is most likely ascension through the Old Blood. As the description for the Communion Rune states: “ministration is, of course, the pursuit of communion.” This communion is the goal of all the scholars- to become Great Ones and have audience with them. Laurence’s tone in this interaction is almost mournful; it seems like he’s about the talk Gehrman out of going through with it before trailing off. Laurence’s hesitancy towards both the hunt and continued use of the blood is implied to worsen as the scourge continues. Gehrman, however, is convinced of the legitimacy of communion and the need for the hunt. This conviction he would apparently retain.
The amount of time that has passed between the formation of the Dream and the events of the game is unclear, yet what is apparent is that time’s effect on Gehrman. He is miserable in this “Nightmare” as he calls it, asking “Oh, Laurence... what's taking you so long... I've grown too old for this, of little use now, I'm afraid…” while muttering in his sleep. It appears that Gehrman’s primary concern is not his own misery, but the fact he is no longer “of use” due to his inability to hunt. This sentiment appears two more times in cut dialogue, generally in reference to Laurence. He doesn’t mention being an asset to the Hunt or the Healing Church- only the Vicar. Gehrman sees his role in the Dream as directly linked to Laurence.
There is another implication within cut dialogue concerning this. Gehrman mentions that he cannot leave the dream because of a “promise” he made to a “dear friend”. Not only does this show that Gehrman knows that death will free him from this “nightmare” but that he refuses to do so for Laurence’s sake. Despite the toll time and the Dream has clearly taken on him he seems adamant in the fact that Laurence will succeed and save him. Gehrman places faith in his friend which borders on unreasonable. His purpose in the Dream and his decision to remain trapped hinges on this faith. Although this can be viewed as a result of the deification of Laurence by the Healing Church, this isn’t the only example of this unwavering devotion Gehrman exhibits towards him. If Gehrman did indeed leave Byrgenwerth at Laurence’s behest (as previously theorised) it even seems to predate the Church’s existence.
Gehrman’s devotion seeps into every aspect of his time in the Dream: his purpose, his imprisonment, and even his death. When Gehrman is killed, the voice line that he says has an extension in cut dialogue: “What? Looking to free me? Then I graciously accept. Forgive me, Laurence, I could not wait... The night, and the dream, were long…”We can assume that the “freedom” the player is granting to Gehrman here is death. Therefore, Gehrman is apologising to the Vicar with his dying breath. For not making good on their promise, despite his desire to do so. Overall, Gehrman’s cut dialogue presents a conflict between his commitment to seeing Laurence again and the turmoil caused by staying within the Dream. Although seemingly, Gehrman willingly dies at the hand of the Good Hunter in this instance, that isn’t what happens within the game. Gehrman fights the player as a way to protect them from his fate, but also to continue in his belief that Laurence will come for him. He doesn’t die willingly, despite the relief it brings him. Yet, Gehrman’s dedication isn’t as one-sided as it appears at first glance. Laurence dies in his pursuit of ascension, dragging Yharnam down with him, and it is plausible to assume that this was fueled by this “promise” the two made (along with, of course, the general devotion the Byrgenwerth scholars have to goal).
The interaction between Laurence and Gehrman in cut dialogue is, presumably, a flashback- Gehrman sounds younger and Laurence is no older than he does in his conversation with Master Willem. Therefore, we can assume that this cutscene likely would have been triggered by another instance of Laurence’s skull (possibly the one in The Hunter’s Nightmare). Therefore, the two memories Laurence retained despite his beasthood were the Adage- which his going against led to the Hunt and the progressive unravelling of Yharnam- and his promise to Gehrman, that “It won’t be long”. This puts the two events at a similar level of importance within the Vicar’s mind- the value with which he considered Gehrman is evident to place him on the same importance as the “sacred” moto of the Chruch.
There is also something to be said regarding Laurence’s punishment within the Hunter’s Nightmare being his memory loss. Having one of his last memories be his promise to Gehrman as the representation of that punishment solidifies its importance.
Furthermore, if we take the theory that Laurence is the Bloodletting Beast found within the Chalice Dungeons -supported by its title of ‘Founder Beast’ in Japanese, the notable loss of its head, and the theme of bloodletting and corruption of the blood it shares with Laurence- it can be inferred that the Vicar died trying to reach Queen Yharnam and her child. This was either for the goal of ascension or the repeated summoning of The Moon Presence. What is particularly interesting is the implication that the Beast continued to venture deeper into the Chalices despite being fully transformed (and full of bugs). This may be due to the Beast’s embrace, its “gentle” form of beasthood may aid in the retention of memory. This is conveyed visually also: the Suspicious Beggar, Bloodletting Beast, and player all adopt more ape-like features in their transformation with their -assumed- use of the rune. This acts as a visual tie back to their humanity. With both of these points in mind, it can be argued that Laurence (despite his beasthood and loss of memory) continued to fight his way towards Mergo because he had to fulfil his promise to Gehrman, mirroring his devotion. Despite his failure to protect his- and Yharnam’s- humanity, Laurence’s fielty to the First Hunter appears to live on past it.
Laurence dies in an attempt to uphold his promise and Gehrman stays alive in an effort to do the same.
This shared devotion is explored further in an earlier draft of the game. Gehrman has this passage of cut dialogue:
Laurence, the end is not far away, now. Every last dream will burn out, and Flora will return from the moon. As for us, the time has come to honour our vows. Hunters are needed no longer. You and I shall fight to the death, and she will consume the victor. The way we've always said we'd end it, you recall. Oh, Laurence. Of course, you remember.
There is an obvious connotation of marriage with “vows” being used to refer to a promise between the two. Yet the more homoerotic insinuation comes with the fact that this promise was a fight to the death for the sake of ascension. The deep trust and shared goal that such an act has to have. They clearly care about each other more than they do anyone else yet they believe that sacrificing that connection for the sake of the greater good is worth it. It is delightfully tragic. 
Of course, this explicit and mutual dedication does not require a romantic connection, but with Bloodborne’s deep themes of queerness (unintentional they may be) and Gehrman’s repeated yearning for Laurence’s return, I don’t believe it to be unfounded. They are the reason for the Dream’s existence and perpetuation and, with it, the Hunt itself. The Scourge is created and fought against by the two of them and their factions. They embody the Healing Church’s hypocrisy and the cyclical violence it creates. Yet they also present an unwavering devotion towards each other that transcends death, perpetual entrapment and lots of werewolves. I adore them for that. Thank you for reading this whole thing! Absolute delight! You can have all my blood. Go on. Take it!
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