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thegirlwhowrites642 · 11 months

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Do you think petunia dursley deserve redemption?

Now a days many people say she was manipulated by Vernon or James insulted her( she saw james in harry) and they try to excuse her actions because she was woman.

After the war Petunia will divorce Vernon and harry will forgive her. They even say Petunia secretly always cared about Harry.

Please share your thoughts(only if you have time/want to ofcourse)

Thank you

I think young Petunia is a character it's easy to feel compassion for.

I can't really blame her for not wanting Lily around or not wanting anything to do with magic.

As a child, she is quite close to her younger sister and she has to witness that younger sister all of a sudden going on an adventure without her because her sister has magic and Petunia doesn't.

I dare anyone to not feel resentful and envious in that situation.

And the fact that she is the older sister makes it worse because when Lily goes to Hogwarts they are still in that age where the younger sibling tends to admire and still wants to follow the older and out of the blue that dynamic radically changes.

When in DH we find out that Petunia sent a letter to Dumbledore asking to go to Hogwarts, my heart absolutely breaks for her every single time I re-read it.

And then when Lily enters the wizarding world, Petunia is left to her normal life, which is probably not that great. The Evanses aren't poor but they are definitely not rich. And she is still very much a girl in the 70s, not as bad as the 30s but not as good as today. All of this is to say that she is not left in a situation of privilege and luxury and therefore has nothing to complain about.

Petunia is also left to deal with lying to protect Lily's secret, probably having to say something about how she was sent to some special school for very talented kids, therefore having to make herself appear as the stupid sister. And so everyone would be super curious about this brilliant sister of Petunia, forcing her to live in Lily's shadow even outside of the house and with Lily in Scotland. It's also implied that Lily is the beautiful sister, which I'm sure doesn't help Petunia's resentment. It writes itself a scene from a summer in 1976, where Petunia's friends are eager to meet/see again her beautiful brilliant sister, and Petunia dies of envy.

It's true that Lily enters a world in which as a muggle-born she is subjected to discrimination but I doubt Petunia knew much about it:

Even though Petunia was raised alongside a witch, she is remarkably ignorant about magic. - from Vernon and Petunia Dursley by JK Rowling

Then Lily ends up marrying James Potter, rich, athletic, and good-looking. While Petunia marries Vernon. Tell me you wouldn't hate Lily even more. Lily marrying a wizard so soon after Hogwarts also adds to the separation of the two sisters into two different worlds. Other factors are the war in the wizarding world and the death of their parents.

And speaking of the devil, Petunia seems also resentful towards her parents for showing, according to her, a preference for Lily:

I was the only one who saw her for what she was -- a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!" She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years. -Chapter 4, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowing

If you notice, Harry doesn't know anything about Mr and Mrs Evans, one thing is him not knowing about the Potters but if Harry doesn't know anything about the Evans grandparents, it means Dudley doesn't either, it means Petunia doesn't talk about them, doesn't have photos of them. Frankly, seeing the relationship between the two sisters, the Envases mustn't have been geniuses at the whole parenting thing.

And for all of this, again, I can't blame her for hating magic, especially when you consider that the first and one of the only experiences with wizards she has is Snape [how hilarious it is that those two know each other?], someone that hates muggles and literally made a tree branch fall on her. Then there's the sister that seems to live to outshine her and Dumbledore who tells her she is not special (not in those terms obviously, he is quite kind actually, but how is a young girl going to perceive that letter if not like that?). By the time she meets James, she already hates magic too deeply.

This Petunia is someone that makes you wish life had been a little kinder to her, and maybe then she could have been better.

But the Petunia since she takes Harry in? She is a monster. What she does to Harry should have put her in jail, and there's no indication that it's Vernon who forces her to behave like that. Like there's no indication that Vernon and Petunia don't love each other. If anything, the fact that Vernon agrees to have Harry in the house despite hating him seems a testament to how much he loves Petunia.

Harry does seem to hate Vernon in particular but the more fitting explanation seems to be that Vernon is a man and therefore more intimidating.

As wrong as it would have been, I could have even forgiven Petunia if she had just been a little colder towards Harry and shown a preference for Dudley. She is substantially forced to take this boy into her house, a boy who has a genocidal maniac after him and therefore potentially puts in danger her, her husband and her son, and she is also forced to see the dynamic that brought so much pain to her repeat again. Dudley is Petunia, and Harry is Lily. Dudley is a muggle, and Harry is a wizard. It's pretty reasonable for her to hate the idea that one day her son will feel like she did. Maybe she was even planning to not have more than one child just to avoid that. Petunia hates Harry because she sees Lily in him, not James. James canonically never insulted Petunia, the only reasons Petunia has for hating him are that he is a wizard and Lily's husband. At best she may have reason to not find him particularly likeable:

The first meeting between Lily, her boyfriend James Potter, and the engaged couple, went badly, and the relationship nose-dived from there. James was amused by Vernon, and made the mistake of showing it. Vernon tried to patronise James, asking what car he drove. James described his racing broom. Vernon supposed out loud that wizards had to live on unemployment benefit. James explained about Gringotts, and the fortune his parents had saved there, in solid gold. Vernon could not tell whether he was being made fun of or not, and grew angry. The evening ended with Vernon and Petunia storming out of the restaurant, while Lily burst into tears and James (a little ashamed of himself) promised to make things up with Vernon at the earliest opportunity. This never happened. Petunia did not want Lily as a bridesmaid, because she was tired of being overshadowed; Lily was hurt. Vernon refused to speak to James at the reception, but described him, within James’ earshot, as ‘some kind of amateur magician’. -from Vernon and Petunia Dursley by JK Rowling

But what Petunia does to Harry goes way beyond anything that could have been excused. And of course, we are also forced to re-read a younger Petunia through that lens, you don't become someone that could do that to a child out of the blue. Was there really ever a time in which she could have been saved?

As for redemption, the personality that is presented to us is not remotely complex enough to consider a redemption arc. Nothing that could be considered in-character. Among the established core traits of her character, there are being envious, and full of hatred.

But even if Petunia decided to become a better person for who knows what spiritual awakening, I don't see why that should become Harry's problem. Each person may have a right to become a better one but that doesn't mean they stop being the person who did the bad things. Even if Petunia became a saint who volunteers in children's hospitals, she would still be the woman who abused Harry, mentally and physically, throughout the first two decades of his life.

I do think that Harry would probably make some sort of attempt to hear her out if that were the case (as much as I also think Ginny would absolutely hate the idea and refuse to let him go alone) because Harry is too compassionate for his own good, and shows more than once to have a problem when it comes to setting boundaries in favour of his own emotional comfort. But I also think it would cause him a great deal of pain and distress and they would never be able to be more than just civil to each other.

In light of that, but also as a general statement in regards to this morbid obsession a lot of people seem to have for redemption arcs, I'd like to say that there's no acceptable reason for the redemption of the abuser to become the punishment of the abused.

[I would advise reading the piece written by Rowling on Vernon and Petunia, there it's made very clear that they love each other]

#petunia evans #petunia dursley #lily evans #lily potter #harry potter #thegirlwhowrites642HPmeta

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halliescomut · 7 months

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Boss/Noeul for The Boy Next World

So we got official confirmation (that we were all expecting) that Boss and Noeul will be playing Cirrus and Phugun respectively in The Boy Next World series coming form Mame/MeMindY. I read the whole novel in about 2 days...finishing up 4 hours prior to the announcement. (Poor decision making on my part honestly.) But I wanted to talk about the novel and basic story, the characters and what I think makes Boss and Noeul a good fit for them, some concerns, and some moments in the novel I'm excited to see.

I am going to attempt to sort of graduate spoilers, so we'll start with no spoilers, move on to potential mild spoilers, and the on to pretty moderate-severe ones. I will clearly mark each transition, so you can stop reading when you like.

No Spoiler Section- Story and Character Summaries

We'll start by going over the basic summary of the story. Phugun and Cirrus are university students that live in the same apartment building. One night Cirrus shows up at Phugun's apartment and tells him that he is his boyfriend. Phugun is understandably confused, as despite having attended the same high school and university, they've NEVER interacted before, but invites him in. Cirrus asserts that he is from a parallel universe where they had started dating in high school. From there it's a bit of a shenanigans ensue situation, but Phugun, being soft-hearted, agrees to try and help Cir get back to his own world, and Cir simply can't help doting on whatever Phugun is available to him. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you might yell.

Now to the characters:

Phugun (often called Phu) is a 2nd year humanities student. He is described as small, cute, and a bit silly. He's also quite feisty and soft-hearted (though he doesn't present that side of himself) and importantly he's kind of superstitious. It is a main character point that he believes that wearing certain colors on certain days will bring him luck, and on days where he can't bad things happen to him. He's an only child and his father passed away when he was in middle school or junior high, so probably about 12-13. After that his mother began travelling abroad, leaving him under the supervision of an aunt. He has a close-knit group of university friends, though from what I can tell none of them pre-date uni.

Cirrus (most often referred to as Cir or P'Cir) is a 4th year business management student. He is described as tall and very handsome, often pursued by other students, but he entertains no one. His nickname on campus is Ice Prince, and many people seem to be afraid of his dark glowers. He does have a small group of friends as well, one from high school (or possibly previously) and one that appears to be just from university. He is the eldest of two children, with a 1 year younger brother (Zone), and his parents are divorced. With Phugun, Cirrus becomes warm and doting, in contrast to the cold persona he presents otherwise.

Now reading through those descriptions you may think...those sound kind of a lot like Rain and Payu...and you are correct. Beginning the novel, I had the same concerns, that these characters were far to similar to their LITA ones and wouldn't offer much space for growth and progression as actors. I have also read the LITA novels (they're actually the only Mame novels I had read before embarking on the Boy Next World) and while I enjoyed Love Storm, I did feel that there wasn't A LOT of serious depth or emotional growth happening in the novel. This is not bad, it's simply my observation, and I enjoyed the novel and series regardless. Through the BNW novel we do have access to both leads points of view and a lot more detail about their backstories, so they are far more fleshed out, complex characters from the start. Because of this, I am potentially hopeful of some really affecting moments that will give Boss and Noeul a great opportunity to really stretch their acting wings. I've made a post before about Noeul's acting specifically, as Rain is incredibly different from him overall, and that remembering that definitely increased my appreciation of his performance there. Rain as a roles is more one that seems simple because he's kind of the most relatable, but for him to be so different from Noeul would offer a specific set of challenges.

There are also a couple of instances in the novel that I think Boss and Noeul in particular could convey very well....

Parallel World Set-up

I also want to give a small explanation of the parallel world basis for the novel, as there are many wildly different systems used in fictional stories, some more complex than others. Below is a pretty basic diagram of the type of parallel world set-up we're looking at.

It's pretty basic, the timeline moves forward and a certain point an occurrence or decision changes the course of the timeline creating to separate but parallel worlds (hence why they travel in the same direction together). In media this divergence point can be anything, in Sliding Doors it's Gwenyth Paltrow's character catching the train versus missing it, but it can also occasionally be a decision. A yes leads to one future, no leads to another, similar to a choose your own adventure story. The divergence point is revealed in the novel, but I won't spoil that, but that decision creates Timeline B where Cirrus and Phugun meet and begin dating in high school. That is the only difference between the two timelines. The orange dashed line is the inciting incident of the novel itself where Cirrus-B ends up in timeline A, and Cirrus-A ends up in timeline B.

I'm going to finish up with trigger warnings for the novel (and likely the series) if you choose to pick it up prior to the show coming out. There are some pretty serious instances of emotional and physical abuse of Cirrus at the hands of his mother, starting from when he was a child. There are also a couple of instances of homophobia. Most of this stems from two specific characters, but there are insensitive and degrading comments made by sort of background characters as well. Grief and grieving is also a potential trigger, as there is discussion related to the death of Phugun's father throughout the novel. As someone who has lost both parents, I did cry at these moments.

Mild to Moderate Spoilers- Scenes and aspects I would like to see in the series

So there are a handful of portions of the book that I really would like to see in the series, and a couple of 'silly' things that I think would just be fun/funny. I'll start with those.

Since we've now established the potential for recasting... I think it would be hilarious if Mame cast a bunch of the actors from the friend group in LITA as the friends in BNW. Specifically Pepper as P'Ren, one of Cirrus's friends who is obsessed with his tropical fish. It would just give the whole thing a bit of a community theater vibe, and I love that.

Since we have a a parallel or alternate universe situation, cast the previous Cir and Phu (Haii and Title) from TharnType 2 as the other versions of them. We don't actually see the other versions in the novel, but it feel like it would be funny like in the opening credits to see like side-by-sides of their lives/timelines.

Now on to actual story points and scenes from the novel I really want to see, and one I kind of hope we don't. We shall get the No out of the way first:

-I do think it is important to keep the child abuse storyline, but I very much hope that it is kept very circumspect or minimal in the show. I would especially not like to SEE it. I think maybe having Cir and Phu talk about it, maybe with audio-overlays or allusions to what happened. But it's pretty dark, and I don't want something like what we got in Don't Say No. Mostly because I have concerns about how filming those scenes can psychologically impact a child actor.

Now the YES's:

-I very much want to see the potential or alluded to second couple of P'Wim and Jin (who are friends of Cir and Phugun). Their vibe is one best described as Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, and their interactions in the novel were delightful. I'm sure how much we'll get depends on the episode count, but I'm hopeful for more than a Ryu/Sun situation in Wedding Plan.

-As discussed, Phugun has some superstitions related to the clothes he wears, and in the novel this goes all the way down to underwear. I would love to see like a calendar montage where you see him rotating through a rainbow of different colored outfits. (It would be delightfully gay.)

-I want Zone to be in the show. He's only present a couple of times in the novel, but I do feel that he's necessary to the story and that removing him would negatively impact Cirrus's character/backstory, as his relationship with his brother does play a role in a lot of his choices. But in the novel, they have a fun dynamic, and his interactions with Phugun are quite sweet, so I feel like it would be a great inclusion.

-There are a couple of instances in the story where Cir sings Phugun to sleep to comfort him. We know Boss has a lovely singing voice, I would like to see that.

-There is a scene related to a musical instrument that was left to Phugun by his late father, but Phugun can't play it. In the scene Cirrus plays it for him, and it's one of the scenes that made me absolutely lose it. Now the instrument isn't a guitar, but since we know Boss can play guitar, I don't think it's unreasonable to just change the type of instrument, as that doesn't really affect the story. Though I am aware that a lot of viewers hate the "guitar in BLs" trope, there is a real emotional gravitas to this scene that I think it would be unfortunate to lose.

-Lastly, there are not many NC scenes in the novel, I think 3 fully explicit ones and a couple that are alluded to. But the first one is a BJ in which Phu is receiving and Cir is performing. Now BJs in general are rarely even portrayed in BL, for many reasons, but the fact that it's not easy to film in a manner that would get by censors, or to portray in a romantic light are probably major factors. It's also something that could be far more uncomfortable for the actors to film. But when they are even hinted at it's often the 'Top' who is receiving, we honestly rarely see concentrated effort from a 'Top' to pleasure their 'bottom' without achieving their own 'completion.' I think a lot of this stems from the heteronormative relationship aspects traditionally applied to BL couples. Just as there's an idea in heteronormative/patriarchal society that a woman is there to provide pleasure to the man, and a man is not obligated to return it, that get's saddled on homosexual characters, leading to a situation where we rarely see Tops do much more than prep and penetrate (and the prep is often off screen). It's something that bugs me regularly, even in shows I really like. It's something you see with Kinn/Porsche, with Dean and Pharm in UWMA. These are characters where there is supposed to be this insane level of affection and adoration in the Top for their bottom, but they're not going out of their way to make sure they feel good??? Seems fake. In fairness to Mame, while she does fall into many a problematic trope, she also really likes bossy bottoms who advocate for their own pleasure, so there is that.

So....that's my thoughts on what to expect and what I hope to see. I hope you enjoyed.

#BossNoeul #boss chaikamon #noeul nuttarat #Cirrus x Phugun #Cir x phu #cirrusphugun #cirphu #The Boy Next World #Mame BL #MeMindY #Thai BL #PayuRain

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sesamenom · 15 days

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alright you’ve been extremely extremely kind and indulgent to me about my oc and i cannot possibly thank you enough <333333 so MY turn now to ask YOU about YOURS. please tell me about maglor’s distant granddaughter who is also your bbeg?? .w. or about the chatty hobbits i would very VERY much love to hear about both!!!

~ @nelyoslegalteam, reporting from main <3

(long post, sorry for the random people stumbling upon this lol)

so I'm the dm for the chatty hobbits campaign and essentially it's set in a beleriand-adjacent continent, but with a few extra races and stuff. of the founders of the original settlements, the king of elende (the elf kingdom) is Gil-galad's (invented for the campaign) twin brother Finellach/Finwain. originally he was inspired by the fact that gil galad has a ton of names but only uses ereinion/gil, so I just invented a new character and gave him half the names. I headcanon gil galad as maglor's son, so finwain is in universe maglor's son (left at the havens with gil bc his wife divorced him for kinslaying and his kingdom, being next door neighbors with morgoth, is far too dangerous for small children).

Anyways, his descendant Elinyel (also known as aramire or elinnor) is the current queen of Elende! she's an evil fire-themed bard who is extremely feanorian in all the worst ways - her actual kingdom prospered under her reign, but she just does not care about everyone else as long as she's protecting her people. There were some tensions with one of the major kingdoms to the north (conflict over unclaimed territory between the kingdoms and some tariff stuff), so instead of risking the other kingdom starting a war and hurting her people, she just preemptively invaded it and started burned all the border territories to the ground.

her actual coronation was pretty weird- so she's the second child, but her older sister was born in wartime and there's a general belief in elende that children of peacetime make better rulers, so Elinyel was chosen as her family's heir. her grandfather (the crown prince of his generation) died defending Elende in one of the major wars, but his younger brother and two young kids survived. there's a whole feud between their houses because the brother chose to retain the kingship even after the kids were old enough to take the throne. anyways, two generations later Elinyel killed her cousin Arendil (the previous king of Elende) over a dispute about the legitimacy of his house (and what she believed to be a dishonoring of her grandparents' sacrifice) and took the throne.

obviously she has many Issues. arendil also has two surviving kids who are now essentially trying to stop her from murdering all their neighbors in proactive defense of her people.

however, when she first ascended she recruited her friend group as her elite guard/vassals of the kingdom. (aka the other bosses in the storyline). so it escalated to a war between her forces and the children of arendil, which ultimately culminated in her beloved sister being killed by one of arendil's children. this in turn led to her having basically a massive mental breakdown and feeling like she failed to protect her loved ones (exacerbated by some of her other friends being killed in battles she led). a normal person might decide this is was kind of her fault for starting a war and putting her friends in charge of the army. instead she decided she needed to destroy everyone who could ever potentially pose a threat. which is, in her eyes, literally everyone on the continent (except for her kingdom, of course).

so now she is at war with absolutely everyone of all factions! She is also somehow winning by virtue of Song almost on the level of maglor himself, and ten (now six) also incredibly powerful friends. Anyways, she has decided that the best way to wipe out the continent (except her kingdom) and start fresh is to literally find an ancient lost stone that can break the Doors of Night, summon Morgoth himself, and start the Dagorath. obviously this will Not go well for anyone at all if she succeeds, but she is on a full-on rampage and genuinely believes she (plus friends) can protect her kingdom from Morgoth's army while he wipes out everyone else.

Here's some old art of her btw!

And some slightly more recent unfinished art of her and the Evil Friend Group from when they were younger:

and here's (L-R) her cousin who is the 3rd boss, Elinyel, and her sister from before the war!

#asks #THANK YOU FOR THIS BTW #i only have 1 friend irl who plays dnd and is also not affiliated with the campaign #and they aren't a silm person #so i cannot talk w anyone irl about the Lore #one of the few kingdoms who could really oppose her is the magic one #bc max level wizards might as well be ainur and the monarch of the magic kingdom is Very Powerful #however. said monarch is also the twin sibling of one of elinyel's friends #(who is also an evil lich now and also maybe dating a diff friend who is an evil sorceror? not sure of details yet)#so the super powerful battlemage monarch is remaining Politically Neutral so they don't have to fight their literal evil twin #currently the party is level 6 and just defeated the very-weakened wraith of one of the friends #she was a druid but sort of decayed when she was corrupted and was kidnapping untrained/low level sorcs as servants to siphon power from #and also living in the Grove of Resurrection in order to stay intact #i forgot her dialogue while running the battle so while i looked through my docs i just had her say 'loading please wait' lol #also more chatty hobbit stuff #the grove is a huge grassy area with a walking tree in the middle #so the whole thing is constantly roaming aroudn #the wraith-druid had her castle built on it so she could have a moving castle that also heals her #the grassy part will resurrect any dead thing put on it #for the battle they had to drag her off the grass in order to kill her #technically shes been dead for some years but is surviving via constant contact w the grove #the hobbit (Shade) is from the Alder family who has historically been the guardians of the grove #he discovered he could talk to the tree in the middle and immediately started trying to figure out a way he could use the grove to #clone one of the party members #the tree does not approve of intentionally cutting off people's arms to see if it regenerates into a clone lol #oh! and they found anglachel in the grove. the dragonborn monk wants to keep it

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transgothicgenre · 1 year

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collection of my favorite alpha couple related quotes

"You have, uh, memories of the house that you first gained consciousness in, as a child, you think, when was the first time I was really conscious of my house? Even if you grew up in a hateful house, it's probably a nice memory, this awareness of your surroundings and that's where you belong. Now, the negative of that image, right, where you're conscious of where you are for the first time ever and you become conscious at the exact same instant that it's really not where you want to be? That's where these two people live."

tallahassee (the song)

"This couple that, that was supposed to get a divorce and then didn't"

going to dade county

"This is another one of those little songs, uh, about two people who I love so much that I continue to cause them to harm one another, uh, and I imagine them in my mind cursing me, but they can't do it without my permission, 'cause they're my people, so. It's a very old song. I hope someday they'll forgive me, but I suspect that they won't."

"This song also has a message, but it's a sort of simpler message. And that is: if the person that you live with and love is trying to kill you, it's best to leave."

spilling toward alpha

"This used to be my favorite song to play. It's one of those songs about this couple that I dreamt of that, that was divorcing. Always they'd be divorcing. If you go over to their house, they were open about it, in my mind, you'd go and say, 'hey, you guys, what's up with you?' 'Ah, you know, I'm-a divorce his ass, fuck this guy,' and then he'd be like, watching TV, and go, 'She says that all the time and she's not going anywhere, she knows where the booze is at,' and then you say, 'Wow, what time is it getting to be? I suppose I'll be on my way. It was --' and you lie… 'It was good to see you both, I miss you, so come on down some, sometime,' and meanwhile, when you leave, you pray to the God in whom you don't believe that they will never, ever drop by your house, because they'll fuck that shit right up. I have an affection for this couple. I wish they would get the divorce that they need, but it never seems to happen for them. I'm in control of the situation, so there must be something wrong with me, that I won't give them what they want."

alpha sun hat

"…I don't quite get what is going on in this song. Most of the time I have a pretty good idea of what's going on with the people, and I don't really know what is behind the refrigerator in this song. I will someday find out."

alpha gelida

“This song is about a house in southern Florida where a lot of bad things happen because of the two people who are making the bad things happen to each other. They really do love each other but they’re not really entirely clear [on] how to express that. So, they try to kill each other.”

southwood plantation road

"This is a song about how you find yourself in a relationship that's really not going where you had hoped it would go, and you say to yourself in the seventh year of that relationship, 'Why am I still hanging out here? You know, that's seven years off my life, I only have so many on this planet. That's seven years I've given to this -- well, I'll stick it out another seven, see what happens.' I'm here to tell you that you don't have to give those second seven, really, seven seems like a fair point at which to start cutting losses. But you know and I know that you're not even here tonight if you're into the whole concept of cutting losses."

"There’s a Led Zeppelin song that goes ‘Good times, bad times, you know I had my share.' Well, this song takes out all the other stuff that was confusing the narrator, the parts about the good times and the having your share. This song is about having more than your share, more than everyone else’s share, bad times coming into your house and overflowing out onto your porch. Bad times. Bad times. Bad times! Game Shows Touch Our Lives!"

game shows touch our lives

"This here is a song. That I want you to sing...to the one you love. When the time comes, you will know when the time comes. You won't like it. You won't feel like singing. I want you to remember, when the time comes that I told you this thing would happen. It will make you look crazy. There's nothing like looking crazy to give you the edge."

(two years later in a different venue) "Anyway, if you like this song and you know the words, I should like for you to sing it like you mean it, all of the words, because there may come a day, there may come a day when you're gonna need the words to this song. You'll be sitting there, going, 'What has become of my marriage? This blows!' I want you to remember that I gave you a little something that you could sing, because when that time comes, there won't be much to do besides sing."

no children

"This is a song about encroaching dread."

peacocks

"I wonder if you guys saw this commercial that they used to play when I lived up in Iowa. I didn’t see it anywhere else, I don’t know if it was nation wide, or what, but, um, they use to have this commercial they would show that was like, you know… laughs it was the best thing. I hope you saw it! But I don’t know if it was maybe a Iowa and Minnesota get-people-to-go-to-the-lakes thing– though I assume you have lakes down here also. But it was a kid’s voice– oh, this is going to be a long story, hold on– It was a kid’s voice and reminded me of one of the best songs of the 80s, that great decade the 80s that brought us such great music as “Dear Mister Jesus.” Did you ever hear “Dear Mister Jesus?” It was a song sung by a five-year-old, and it was that sort-of Christian pornography, that like, you go, “Oh, the kid said Jesus. What could be better?” And if you are like a guy who is going to Mega Death shows in Long Beach in his spare time, you look at “Dear Mister Jesus” with wonder and reverence and go “Aw, this is the best time to be alive!” because “Dear Mister Jesus,” right? But it was clear that they had asked the kid to talk dumber then she actually was and she sings like: “Dear Mister Jesus, I don’t know what to do” and it was like that, right? So this commercial I’m thinking of that ran in Iowa, was the “Dear Mister Jesus” voice, but the kid was asking his father to take him fishing. This is the sort-of thing that weighs very heavily on Midwestern Dads, I think. If you are a kid listening to this, and you want to just rip out your Midwestern father’s heart, then I suspect asking him to take you fishing on a day he can’t do it is a good way to do that. But the commercial went: “Take me fishing, because I won’t be nine forever!” “Take me fishing, because there’s only one sunset a day!” And I would watch this video and go “Oh man, Dear Mister Jesus has gone fishing, this is cool!” Right? I want you to bear those noble sentiments in mind as I play an unreleased song from Tallahassee about the day the guy gets drunk and goes fishing."

alpha chum gatherer

"This is a song - takes place in California - it was on the first CD - it's about that moment in which you know it's not going to get any better, but you want to prove to somebody exactly how strong you are."

orange ball of hate

#the mountain goats #alpha couple #the alpha couple #sorry for how long this is. i like them #post

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dyslexicandakeyboard · 10 months

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Very unpopular opinions about Gone Girl (the film because it's very different from the book).

Nick didn't feel remorse for cheating on Amy. The shit he said in the interview was a ploy to get her out of hiding to clear his name. He was manipulating her. Nothing he said in that interview was truthful (like I'm pretty sure he later admits)

Amy was a ticking time bomb. There were already hints that Amy was dropping her Cool Girl persona since they moved to Missouri. Even if Nick didn't cheat, sooner or later, she would have gone-girl-ed his ass.

Nick also had the equivalent of a Cool Girl persona. The recession led him to drop it.

Amy telling Nick she got her parents out of debt with her trust fund mirrors when Nick moved them to Missouri. With out consulting the other party and not letting them voice their opinion. It showed that they both contributed to the unhealthiness of the relationship.

Amy was always in control of the relationship, especially when things were going to shit. She owned his job, probably the house and controlled all the finances. Pretty sure Nick's whole upset with the prenup thing is that Amy does control the finances.

Desi Collings is just like Amy just in a different font.

Nick was not as bad as Amy IN THE MOVIE. I know, crucify me. He's a cheat, lazy, has no ambitions, slightly misogynistic, sleeps with his student who is half his age. But, none of these are crimes (Andie was over the age of consent but's it's immoral. He's a pig). Amy commits crimes and wastes police resources. She kills a man not in self-defence, fakes a rape accusation, (tries to) frames Nick for kidnapping and murdering her, stole his sperm and impregnated herself. Plus, she's also slightly misogynistic and classist. Movie!Nick and Movie!Amy are not comparable. Yes, they are both awful people but Amy defiantly is the worst. Book Nick seems to be just as bad. Again book doesn't equal movie.

Amy was always a psychopath saying Nick drove her to psychopathy or any other version of this is quite dumb ngl and ignores Tommy O'Hara. Hell, her actions with Tommy makes me even more sure even if Nick didn't cheat she still would have punished him.

I truly believe Nick did want to leave her. It is said by Amy herself that she knew he wanted a divorce. Nick was shown to want to leave during the end of the movie. Literally, the only reason he stayed was because of the child, the whole outrage that would follow (Interestingly, this could be seen as Nick's own preoccupation of controlling his image).

Amy is the more unreliable narrator compared to Nick mainly due to Nick having a voice of reason, Margo, while Amy doesn't. (Unless I'm under his spell. But I don't think so because I hate Ben in the DCEU and that colors my perception across franchises. Came into this movie full expected to hate Nick as much as Amy or more so but left surprised.)

While I understand uprooting one's life and moving across the country with out the other partners input is quite upsetting and can make you feel like shit. A person was dying. Amy's feelings are valid but like. Cancer? Taking care of dying mother? Amy expected Nick to be OK with a huge financial decision to help her parents, make some allowance. Rubbed me the wrong way. I'm a family gal.

Amy may have loved Nick at one point, kinda like Nick loved Amy at one point, but she ultimately sees relationships and love as a form of winning. This seems to stem from her childhood as she was always one step behind Amazing Amy. All her mistakes were washed away clean in Amazing Amy and sold to the masses. Everyone could see just would Amy couldn't do. Because of this, Amy doesn't see herself as a person as much as a character in a story, expect this time she controls it. She's going to have a picture perfect marriage and thus life. Thus she wins at life. This is also very half-baked and formed by one watch of the movie.

Amy wasn't abused by Nick. Amy fictionalized most of their life in Missouri(She's an unreliable narrator). Like it was revealed that Nick hated Amy and that he wanted kids while Amy didn't. The whole "Let's have kids" fight seems very improbably with this information. Unless I'm under Nick's influence. Plus, Amy doesn't seem that afraid of Nick even when he is violent with her.

The Cool Girl monologue while hits some true points to the idea that society values woman to change themselves to be picked by a man. But it also implies a heteronormative society, implies that woman absolutely cannot like shit like football on their own as they are only doing it for men, acts as if liking things are unnatural for woman, makes sexist judgment of random woman she literally passes who are hopefully living their best life, and is sex negative.

preemptive warning because fandoms can be really toxic for some reason. Don't interact if you don't like.

#gone girl the movie #nick dunne #amy elliot dunne #personal opinions #anti amy elliot dunne #anti nick dunne #but he's my favorite character strangely enough #I should read the book #but that won't change my opinions on movie!nick #sympathetic to nick dunne #fuck desi collings #all my homies had desi collings #gone girl #any hate is not tolerated.#any other unpopular opinions on gone girl please add

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cometrose · 1 month

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Yes to all of what you said about Hae in and Hyun woo's relationship the discourse on some of these platforms is insane like people on Twitter and Instagram are unhinged and gave the dumbest takes that make it seem they're watching an entirely different show, "HW is toxic and evil and HI deserves better she's perfect" ummm.... I'm glad that at least here there seems to be a consensus of they're both flawed and need to communicate and do better

exactlyyyyy

I don't understand how people are interpreting this dynamic weirdly when it is the same rich stoic chaebol x poor emotional affectionate girl like always the only difference is the gender reversal.

Haein is the stoic, cold, calculating, emotionally-constipated, workaholic, rich heir. She clearly loves Hyunwoo but she is so emotionally shut off that she doesn't say anything she just expects all of her feelings to be conveyed to him. Of course I understand why she is like that and i don't want to dig into her too much, growing up in that household especially after the death of her older brother was suffocating and she probably only worsened after losing their child.

But I can't say she is perfect when as I mentioned she never protected him from her family (at least in front of him), berated him in front of employees, never visited his family, never comforted him at his lowest, and never communicated her feelings.

Remember in like ep.3 or something Hyunwoo mentions that for the first anniversary he did a big party but she didn't like that and at the second anniversary he did nothing but she also hated that. Like it is very clear that Haein absolutely sucks at expressing her true feelings and Hyunwoo isn't a mindreader, nobody is. You can't be mad at Hyunwoo for not understanding her feelings or not comforting her when she shut him out, when she doesn't tell him how she feels.

The whole shocked by the divorce is super common in this genre too because typically the male lead never thought his wife was feeling this way. Like those male leads, Haein believed that even though her partner is acting distant and closed off, that he still loves her because she still loves him when that couldn't be further from the truth.

You can't close your heart to the world and expect them to mourn you. If Hyunwoo didn't care about Haein's feelings then Haein equally ignored his feelings, both of them don't know how the other person is truly feeling and made little to no effort to resolve this miscommunication and just lived with the assumption. Their terrible, just abysmal, communication is making them suffer, they are supposed to do things together!!! they are partners!!! Both of them failed at being there for each other and it drove them a part.

#queen of tears #i don't want to say it like i really really dont but if hyunwoo was a woman you would be on his side 100%#ive seen this story like 30 times #someone mentioned this is literally parasite and YEAH #you guys are underestimating the power of CLASS #this is very much a story about class and power!!!#hyunwoo may be a man but she has more power than he ever will #no matter how smart he is he will never be good enough cause he’s lowbirth #the whole plot is that haein has millions and billions at her disposal but that won’t save her from death #haein lived the healthiest and wealthiest life and she still got cancer!!!#money alone can’t save you in this world #this isn’t just a gender thing but very much a socioeconomic thing

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brightgnosis · 11 months

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“Wow, ‘tomato clam juice cocktail’. What a weird 50′s recipe! They ate some really gross things in their day”

Meanwhile my uncle (a white trash redneck transplant to Oklahoma, originally from Washington): Literally still drinks clamato beer daily in 2023 and has for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a literal child.

Also: Bloody Mary’s are still popular, and are barely just one step removed from them ... There are, in fact, even clamato versions that do exist and are still incredibly popular in some regions!

This is why I absolutely hate people like B. Dylan Hollis who make it an entire point of their whole personality and schtick to shit on Vintage Recipes — and that whole trend in general. Especially since it's most frequently being done by privileged people specifically to recipes belonging to minorities and the severely impoverished.

It's also why I'm always telling people that Vintage cooking is not actually all that weird at all- or, at least, isn't actually any weirder than things we still eat today ... As with all things in both life and history: You just need the actual historical context in order to understand food trends properly.

ETA: Don't @ me with Hollis apologetics because "well he eats everything he makes". Ultimately that's not really the point, it's missing the point entirely, because eating it and making fun of it are two very different things (I can't believe I even have to explain that). So is getting upset whenever it actually tastes good because you expected (and actively wanted) it to be bad- because your schtick actively hinges on old food being "bad" or "weird" or "backwards" compared to modern food.

Also do not @ me with a "well have you told him about this context yourself to see if it changes his behavior?", either. Because yes. I have actually told people like this many times. However? It's ultimately not my job to educate others on this stuff in the first place. Largely I am not a food or history educator. This is a hobby and an interest for me- not my day job. It is not my responsibility to educate people.

But furthermore- and most importantly: I shouldn't have to educate people like Hollis (and the hundreds of others who do this; he's far from the only one, only the most popular currently) on something which they should be reasonably be educating themselves on. Especially not when the historical context is something they will naturally come across anyways whenever uncovering these materials to begin with. Because you literally cannot divorce things like food and fashion from their sociopolitical, economic, and other historical contexts. It's impossible to do.

Like ... Listen ... I have been doing early 20th century fashion and food and domestic history for nearly my entire life at this point. This is not new to me at all, and I am not a stranger to this. I literally run an entire blog that's dedicated to correcting misinformation about the early to mid 20th century in some facet, hilariously enough. And something I know for certain, beyond a shadow of any doubt, from doing this for as long as I have? Is that you cannot pick up or look for materials on these subjects without inherently running into some element of their appropriate historical contexts (how do you think I got into it, y'all) ... Historical contexts that should make any reasonable person who cares stop and think "hmm" for two seconds. But they don't because they don't care.

It's very rare that educating any one of them suddenly makes them start caring because caring literally ruins the entire schtick. And that schtick hinges on the fact that we are socially conditioned to think of making fun of the past (but especially the 1900's to 1950's) as "weird" and "backward", as acceptable and even outright encouraged, regardless of the historical context. And the kind of people who get into that kind of an act are not the kinds of people who care about historical context, historical integrity, ancestral compassion, or any of the other concepts. What they do care about are the laughs they can get at the expense of our ancestors (many of whom are still living) and what they frequently had to make do with, or proprietarily innovated.

I will delete your comments and block you.

ETA 2: Yelling at me to "let people have fun", calling me a "pretentious gatekeeper" and saying "who cares about the historical context, it doesn't matter", before finishing your ignorant tirade off with "I don't care if you delete my comment and block me" doesn't make you a white knight or mean you win any kind of a fight. It just confirms you as one of the exact idiots I was talking about.

No one is stopping anyone from "having fun", here. I literally do have fun making vintage recipes all the time, and have an entire collection of vintage cookbooks, and I enjoy hosting vintage themed holiday parties all year (which I put a lot of research and dedication into every time); I even shop and wear mostly vintage clothing and jewelry, lol ... There are plenty of ways to respectfully "have fun" in the vintage world, with vintage things (or, further than that, in the antique world, with Antique things). It's not actually difficult. The difference is called actually having a little respect for people and their lived histories and experiences.

If your idea of "having fun" includes actively making fun of the food and clothing, histories and life experiences (etc) of the poor and impoverished, sometimes disabled, often people of color- and that bare basic historical context absolutely doesn't matter to you on any level, to the point that even remotely pointing it out is "pretentious gatekeeping" in your eyes? You need to actively check your abelism, classism, and racism, seek some fucking counseling, and learn to be an actual goddamned Human Being.

#Personal #2023 #Vintage Recipes #B Dylan Hollis #Dylan Hollis #B Hollis #Food Is The Ultimate Love Language #NonTrad Housewife #NonTrad Homemaker #NonTrad Homemaking #Homemaker #Homemaking #Housewife #Ye True Olden Days #Original Vintage / Antique Content #Queer Housewife

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br1ghtestlight · 6 months

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Trick or treat! 👻🍭😈

"After all that, they STILL wouldn't give my dad a refund. Anyway, that's how my family ended up living on a fishing boat for three months in the Atlantic Ocean. It wasn't all bad, though. I still keep in touch with that fisherman," Teddy rambled to Bob as he wiped down the counter. Linda was out running errands and his kids were at school, so he didn't have anybody to help him escape from Teddy's non-stop conversation and stories. Bob loved his friend, but that handyman LOVED to talk. It was exhausting for somebody who was as introverted as Bob. Social interaction was hard for him, even with his close friends and family.

"Huh. Teddy, I don't think you've ever told me about your dad before," Bob said. "I've heard hundreds of stories about your mom, uh, but I've never heard you talk about your dad."

"Oh, well… He's dead, so—You know how it is," Teddy said awkwardly. "Don't want to tell people stories about a dead person. Brings the whole mood down."

Bob shrugged and focused his attention on Teddy. He knew what it felt like to lose a parent, and how uncomfortable talking about that could be with people who didn't understand. He ignored that and questioned Teddy further. "How old were you when he died? I was, uh, twelve when my mom died."

Teddy took a second to count out the years on his fingers before he answered. "I was thirty six years old, I think. Maybe thirty seven. He had a heart attack and was in the hospital for a few days… I didn't visit him, because we hadn't really talked for a few years. Didn't even know what happened until he was already dead. He and my mom were divorced, and I didn't keep up with his side of the family. I still don't."

"I'm sorry, Teddy," Bob said genuinely. Losing his mother was the hardest thing that he'd ever gone through, but he couldn't imagine how he would have coped if it happened so suddenly and when they weren't on good terms. Teddy's relationship with his father was obviously a lot more complicated than Bob's relationship with his mother, but losing a parent was never easy.

"Eh. It's alright. I didn't really get along with him, anyway. I mean, I WANTED to get along with him, but he didn't really seem to… like me," Teddy's expression darkened for a moment before he continued, as if he was remembering something from his childhood that he'd long forgotten. "I don't really think about him all that often, especially 'cause he's been dead for such a long time. He's more like a weird uncle from my childhood than, like, my actual dad. Does that make sense?"

Bob grunted in response and Teddy continued talking.

"I don't really miss him, I don't think. I mean, he was my dad and I'll always love 'em, but… He was so mean, Bobby. He was an alcoholic, y'know, and he treated my mom like crap. Me and Dana, too. It's hard to think about him without thinkin' about all the bad things that happened when I was a kid. Most of them were his fault. My therapist says that it's normal to feel resentful of my parents for what happened when I was a kid and how they treated us, but I don't know. Daddy issues. We all got 'em, right?"

Bob nodded. "My relationship with my dad is, uh, complicated. He's… a lot to be around, but he was also pretty much all of my childhood. At least you still have your mom around, and you have your sister."

"Dana is amazing, Bob. I should introduce you to her at some point. She's going back to college and studying to be a dental hygienist. Can you believe that? First person in our family to go college," Teddy perked up at the mention of his sister.

Bob had never met Dana, but he knew from the stories that Teddy told about her that he was very proud of everything his younger sister had accomplished in her life. Bob occasionally wondered what it would be like if he had a brother or sister, especially after seeing how close his own children were to each other. His father told him that they'd never planned on having another child after Bob was born, but he couldn't help but wonder if their decision had been influenced by his mother's worsening health.

"Yeah, it would be great to meet your sister," Bob agreed. "And, uh, if you ever feel like talking to me about your dad or telling stories about him—that's not a problem. I don't mind. I mean, I know what it's like to lose a parent."

"Yeah, but they're my only family. I gotta love 'em," Teddy sighed.

"I mean, that's not entirely true."

"Whaddya mean, Bobby?"

"We're kind of like your family too, aren't we? Me, Linda, the kids… You've always been a part of our family. You've been with us from the start."

"Hey! We could try setting our parents up on a date. Then we'd be best friends AND brothers! What do you say, Bobby?"

Bob grimaced. Ignoring the fact that Big Bob hadn't gone on a date since Lily died nor had he shown any interest in doing so, and Teddy's mother's obvious preference for dating younger men, he really didn't think he would want to be Teddy's brother. He was a good friend, but he was not sure about being related to him for the rest of his life. That didn't sound fun. "I don't know about that, Teddy."

"Yeah, you're probably right. You'd probably be a really annoying brother," Teddy agreed. "And I already HAVE a younger sibling! Don't need another of those."

#fanfic where teddy and bob talk about their dads!! included most of what ive written atp bcuz im unsure if i will ever finish writing this #teddy's childhood and backstory is so interesting. i dont think he really knows how to think about it so he just. doesnt #ask #bob's burgers #teddy

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beforethepoison · 9 months

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On the Josh Homme vs Brody Dalle topic: The whole situation is not black and white. Brody has BPD on top of the addictions, and BPD people can be just as abusive (verbally and physically) as narcs in a bad period combined with drugs. However I'm sure Josh was abusive towards Brody under the influence of drugs and alcohol in the past, and I wish nothing else for Brody but healing, she has to come out of the victim mindset with time if she wants to see her children, and cut contact with Gunner Fox. I don't think she came out of that mindset yet.

Keep it in mind, not every alcoholic is narcissist and not every narcissist is alcoholic.

Josh Homme is far from being perfect, but at least shows self-reflection in the recent interviews (there's two interviews like that) and it shows he's not a narc, "only" an addict in recovery and there's visible change of his behavior after therapy, (Meanwhile I can't see any change in Brody's yet). Where's self reflection there's capability for change. Narc people can't act like they have self reflection because they just simply doesn't have any and will forever blame others for the bad things they've done or happened to them and will never change. Josh took responsibility about his faults in that marriage. It's in one of those two long interviews. He also talked about that how toxic masculinity affected him growing up, how drugs affected his behavior, and how he put down the drugs and cut back on alcohol as much as he could. He not just says he changed, he really worked on himself since his divorce.

On the other hand there are detalis that weren't make it to public. Most of Brody's friends cut contact with her, and that's because she's far from being innocent. Close people got to know about that Brody started harassing Josh's women acquaintances in private out of jealousity, without any real reason to be jealous and one of them was Alison. Maybe it's not a coincidence Alison and Damian Lewis went public with their relationship, despite Alison was extremely private about her relationships before. Anyway, do you think all of those guys in the Qotsa would stand by Josh if they would have wittnessed any of that shit, Brody made up about him abusing his children?

Especially Dean Fertita who was dragged in the whole conflict by Brody while Dean's wife and her were best friends. Well, they aren't friends anymore. And then there's Mikey Shoes the bassist who possibly was abused as a child in a sexual way, if you listen to his GLU project's lyrics there's some strong lines about that. It would trigger him enough if Josh would be a child abuser for real, and wouldn't be able to stay in the band that's for sure, not even for the money, especially since he has two side projects next to the Queens. Do you think all these people who are supporting Josh like his bandmates, Dave Grohl, The Kills etc. are abusive asshole people?

Would you support an old friend of yours who is a known addict, if he would decide to put down the drugs finally and change his life for the better?

Be careful with judging so harshly, and picking sides like there would be nothing in between and like you would know these people personally, and every private detail of their life and divorce. It's impossible to see the complete picture only from all that came to public, only the three kids know the exact truth.

Josh's son was happily dancing on stage in one of the recent Qotsa shows and hugged his dad side-stage. There's youtube videos of that. It wasn't forced. His daughter talked positively about him in her insta stories lately and not a lot of people could see that, so it would make zero sense to do that under his dad's pressure since her insta doesn't reach that many people. I believe to the kids whatever they say, there's the truth. That's very telling in itself Josh choose to go to therapy and it visibly helped to him. If he would be a total hopeless abusive shitty narc it wouldn't help at all. I hope Brody gets her shit together on the same way, instead of cutting contacts even with Shirley (her no1 bff) from Garbage, only because she happened to play at the same festival as the Qotsa, alongside with hundreds of other bands who were in the line-up and has nothing to do with anything, only got booked by organizers but Brody made it about herself again, thinking everybody is against her, including Shirley.

whats camille instagram???

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policemanofprincesspark · 2 months

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# he's not some straight/bi-curious dude who says he's “unlabeled” bc he doesn't want to admit he's straight Add to this tag, newest fans (those who are there since the 1D hiatus/start of his solo career) forget or they don´t even know that he was head over heels for one specific boy/man since he was 16 and that´s like really telling he´s not just straight/bi-curious dude when you are in the whole ass same-sex relationship for years. We can´t tell how they relationship looks like these days because there´s zero evidence and interaction but I believe they are it for each other and gone through so much that they won´t just simply call it quick. And yes, we can see how much comfortable H is around literally any men, that´s also like not a behaviour of someone who´s confused/curious about his sexuality but he´s rather well-aware what/who makes him feel good to be around. So even if HL are not together anymore, they are still gays who will go into same-sex relationship. Or do you think one/both of them will end up with woman to have a wannabe normal family life?

If they ever break up, I will always be here to love and support them, and they will always be a huge, huge part of queer history—especially queer music history.

I have thought about the "wannabe normal family" situation before in regards to babygate. I've wondered whether Louis decided to have a real child in order to become a single parent purposefully and to give his mother a grandchild before she passed, since he knew she had cancer a whole year before he "got Briana pregnant." I've had discussions with someone in the fandom who claims to be involved in tour life, and she told me that it's not uncommon for gay men on tour to have sex with women out of desperation. It's not at all difficult to believe that F is Louis's kid and that Louis wanted a child.

The problem comes in when you look at the ways that they've shaded it. Harry putting a balloon under his shirt while singing "Little White Lies" before the news dropped, the "it's not real" baby doll toss, the Dirty Dancing tweet from Louis two days before the news dropped, "Preaching to the convinced", Harry's Jack Nicholson instagram post, the Billie Jean shirt in a teaser for a music video in which Louis also wore a "Tomorrow" shirt (and the music video dropped the next day), the song Kiwi...

There was also a lesser known thing that I saw where Louis had a puzzle on the FITF website that showed different locations on a map, all of them referencing Larry in some way (like daggers and roses, princess park, etc.), and then one of them was a paternity test clinic? If someone has more information on this, please let me know because this was from around the time when I was still taking a long break from the fandom.

Anyway, marriages can fizzle or burn out no matter how long you've been together. So many people get divorces even 20, 30, or 40 years into their marriage. If Louis and Harry last, good for them. If they don't, they'll always cherish their time together I'm sure. I'm not worried about them breaking up because it's not my life. Their relationship will always be important to queer history, to us, and, in a way I assume, to them.

#ask #babygate #larry stylinson

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snailcubezz · 1 year

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tell us more about jim and his ex pls

YAYAY OK so this might be long sorry

BIG TW for religious trauma, child abuse, internalized homophobia(?) and the fucked up ways it affects these characters that idk how to describe to be very honest with u

for starters, jim and bettie (his ex-wife) both grew up very sheltered in violently strict families who were obsessed with their public image as a Perfect Nuclear Family TM, especially at the church they both went to (which is also how they met)

and for a while, they were odd friends. neither knew how to socialize that well but they understood eachother in a way nobody else did. but later as they grew up and as their situations worsened, they had a really bad falling out (jim became more quiet, obedient and sensitive while bettie just got more fed up and aggressive, even to jim, because of their clashing trauma responses and some extreme dysphoria stuff she didn't have the words for yet) and not long after, jim hears that she ran away from home at age 12 and was never found.

jim's home life got BAD to the point of legal intervention when he was 11, and for a while after he was tossed around between other relatives (who weren't much better, although he got a bit more freedom to leave the house as he got older)

they found eachother again around their mid-teens, when jim moved way out of their hometown to live with one of his relatives (bettie recognized jim pretty easily bc he still dressed and looked nearly the same as he did as a kid LOL) and they got to catch up and reconcile <:]c she got help and support of her own after running away, and became a Lot happier after starting her transition !!

bettie became sort of his only support and escape from everything during that time, and as they grew closer and hung out again more, they started to date. this was a HUGE step in jim getting further away from the constant fear of judgement his family left on him, and pushing back on the "what would my parents think, what would god think" etc. paranoia/guilt he was stuck with for so long.

and while he still has that, and a whole lot of self worth issues and disgust with himself resurfacing from being genuinely loved for the first time (+ since he was still an egg at the time, and viewed their relationship as wlw, theres That factor there too in the "i'm a disgusting unlovable sinner and any second they'll find out and i'll get my punishment" view of himself and any time he let himself be happy) he at least had her, and her friend groups to help him

not long later, jim fully moved in with bettie and the people she was staying with, and he got therapy for a while too ! and in doing so, and processing more of his trauma and feelings better, he realized that he's a trans man and came out to bettie. (and of course, she was ecstatic for him and was So Ready to help him with any steps that he wanted to take with transitioning. she cut his hair for him bc he couldn't bring himself to do it and he was an overjoyed sobbing mess on her when she was done hehsjbdg)

around the same time, they found out they were gonna have al and their life sorta shifted to preparing for that (jim got an easy office job for the psychonauts and has been working there since then, they saved money towards being able to take care of her etc.)

they were married for a solid few years (and only divorced because jim realized that he's gay,) and they still keep close contact and care for eachother and their daughter a lot !!! and al loves her parents :)c

#🐠.png #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #psychonauts oc #jim monday #bettie wallis #allison monday #cc #against my better judgement i am posting this at 1am instead of normal person hours #[visibly shaking] can u tell im an absolute sucker for the ''parent w/ bad home life trying to be better than their parents were'' trope.#anyway i put WAY too much thought into this #and probably a kind of depressing amount of projection #hes fine though its all fine <3 #desperately hoping this is coherent idk how much of it makes sense . again it is 1am ill be honest here

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alextheavoidant · 7 months

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I posted this as a reply to someone on YouTube under a video about the 8 Passengers situation. Thought I'd share it here because why not.

I feel like I should put a trigger warning here as this post discusses child abuse, but now that I think of it my whole blog probably needs a trigger warning...

Post:

I was also badly abused growing up and this is something I'm just now starting to come to terms with. My parents were divorced when I was five and my father claims he tried to get custody of my siblings and I, but the truth is he didn't want to be a single father and having three little kids to take care of would have gotten in the way of his drinking and partying lifestyle. I never knew my mothers side of the family because she's pretty much been estranged from them since before I was born. But I remember when my sister died from a drug overdose the whole side of my dads family were suddenly so sad about what we went through growing up and would say things like "We tried to give you some sense of normalcy. We always invited you to Christmas and the holidays." As if they were doing us some kind of favor for letting us come to family gatherings.

The worst part is I didn't have to wonder if they knew. I knew they knew because I remember being very vocal about what was happening to us our entire childhood. But every time I tried to tell someone it seemed like they would either turn away and pretend they didn't hear me or make some kind of joke like "Oh yeah, that's your mother. She's crazy. Ha ha ha." or a dismissive "Well, she's the only mother you're ever gonna have, so you gotta love her." or what I feel is one of the most damaging things you can put in an abused child's mind, "I know it may not seem like it, but she loves you in her own way." No one seemed to be worried back then.

The other worst part is instead of being understanding about the ways the abuse has effected us and maybe trying to help us get our lives together, these same people who turned a blind eye to it now have the audacity to judge us for not being "successful", their definition of success being having a great career, lots of money, nice house, nice car, nice marriage with three perfectly behaved, straight A students. We're supposed to be perfect like all of them pretend to be. Just supposed to magically not be affected by any of the abuse and neglect we suffered growing up so that they can pretend it never happened so they don't have to feel guilty about the fact that they knew we were living in a house with a raging alcoholic without food and clean clothes half the time and they did nothing about it. It wasn't *their* responsibility to protect us. Now that we're adults its *our* responsibility to fix ourselves and stop "playing innocent", blaming the family and making them look bad. The only reason we can't is obviously because we're just too inherently defective. Because of course we are. We're "just like our mother". We have her genes. And the kicker? I'm constantly told to "rise above my raising" while also being told I'm "screwing up" my niece because I can't afford to take her out to eat all the time and shit like that. Literal mind fuck.

And yet, the most bizarre part is, the more progress I make in my recovery, as I have been diagnosed with several mental health issues including a severe anxiety disorder (AvPD), the harder and harder they seem to want to come down on me. Like it's not enough that I've spent years in therapy trying to get my life straight, that I'm raising AND homeschooling my sisters child, whom she abandoned long before she passed away. It's not enough just that I survived that hell and I'm still here and I'm not an addict or in jail or on the street. I'm just not getting better fast enough, and that annoys them. They don't want to hear about my recovery because they don't want to acknowledge how fucked up I actually am, and how much work its taking to even try to achieve some sense of normalcy, let alone have a "successful" life and career, according to their standards. My very existence is a stain on the security blanket of lies they wrap themselves up in so they can sleep at night. And they really don't like that.

#blog #mental health #abuse #child abuse #trauma #survivor #abuse survivor #trigger warning

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osseincactus · 2 years

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Pokemon Ocs!! I also drew this a while ago but didn't post it cuz it's just oc stuff but ehh whatever ;;

My protags (sorta) for every gen, they're all related as well in one way or another. I'm gonna make full body ref with their outfits at some point but for now just take them

As well as a really fast family tree I made to help make sense sorta of their family...

More about each of them under the readmore.

Sera: Pokemon Lets Go Eevee/Yellow whichever you wanna say. Sera is a detective for the International Police, that goes by the code name "Jorts" although he hates using that name. (They got it the first day they walked into work wearing the worst outfit possible and now they all just call him Jorts, he will ask you to just call them Sera)

He's been assigned to try to find the boss of Team Rocket, and on their mission they meet 2 kids that have also gotten tied up in the same mess they're in. He decides to try to keep the 2 kids away from Team Rocket and back on their original track of trying to fill the Pokedex and beat the gyms.

Regardless of whether or not it worked to keep the kids away, they completely failed their mission from the International Police by falling in love with Giovanni and instead of turning him in they just lied to their bosses face and lived with him and all their cats together in Kanto and Johto until they International Police got off their ass and they moved to Unova together...

Cattiva: Pokemon HeartGold protagonist. Cattiva is originally from Sinnoh, where her parents (Ira being one) met and got married. After its parents divorced it decided to move to Johto with her mom rather than stay in Sinnoh with its dad.

She's a massive trouble maker, doing exactly what people (notably Elm) tell her not to do. It also loves to harass Silver, get in his way on purpose and upset him as much as possible. None of it is for any particular reason other than she just likes to be a jerk, child of divorce moments...

Ira: Pokemon Alpha Sapphire uhhh not protagonist but not not protagonist??? Ira is from Sinnoh originally, he's brothers with Professor Rowan. He has absolute dogshit social skills so it's a wonder he was ever able to get married in the first place. Eventually his wife decided she wanted her life to go in a different direction than Ira did and the 2 divorced. His youngest, Cattiva, moved to Johto with her mom and his oldest, Carnelia, stayed in Sinnoh with her Uncle, Rowan.

Ira himself decided to branch out and expand his horizons now that he was effectively left with no responsibilities and nothing to do, leading him to move to Hoenn. But he moved at the wrong time and ended up smack dab in the middle of Maxie and Archie's fighting.

He didn't intend to give their problems any thought until he got stuck with 2 kids (May and her friend Brendan) and decided that he didn't trust the world to not hurt them. So he follows them around, taking them to and from places to insure their safety (and dealing with anyone that threatens the 2 of them) in the end he took Kyogre with him since it didn't seem safe for children to keep it.

Carnelia: Pokemon Platinum protagonist. Carnelia is the sister of Cattiva and the daughter of Ira. She's the only one of them that stayed in Sinnoh after the divorce, not wanting to leave behind their ambitions for the sake of their family.

They live with their uncle, Professor Rowan, and help him out as much as she can with the Pokedex as well as the students he teaches.

She ends up getting stuck fighting Team Galactic while trying to become Champion. Cynthia and them try their best to help Cyrus and end up having to deal with the mess that is the distortion realm and the almost end of the world.

Volante: Pokemon Black 2 protagonist. Volante is a little coward and a freak... He initially wanted to help out during the events of Black, but ultimately failed to even make a dent in the whole mess leaving it up to another trainer, Esilio, to fix the problem instead. He spent most of his time as a Pokemon Researcher, dreaming of bigger and better plans for the future.

Until 2 years later when the events of Black 2 happened. He finally got the chance to take the wheel and help beat Team Plasma. Although in all fairness he was still a scared little loser the whole time... He did get his gym badges and make it to Iris though!

He has also had ummmm less than sfw... ummm relations with Clay, Alder, and Zinzolin... he's known them... in a biblical sense...

Iberide: Pokemon X Pokemon Researcher and Protagonist. Iberide is a member of the Kalos Pokemon researchers, although not originally from Kalos. They moved to Kalos after them and Sera had both become adults and decided to go pursue their individual aspirations.

Iberide moved to Kalos and started working with Professor Sycamore to fill out the Pokedex and research Mega Evolution. Iberide has now Sycamore for quite a while because of it and as a result also knows Lysandre fairly well too. Although the two had a strained if not hostile relationship from the start... mostly because Iberide had the hots for Sycamore...

Iberide is also blind, the use their Furfrou as a seeing eye dog to help them navigate the world around them. And they help Calem, Serena, Shauna, Trevor and Tierno to beat Team Flare later and keep Xerneas in their own care after the events of the game.

Although after Lysandre's death, Iberide and Sycamore do end up being a thing so....

Stella: Pokemon Sun/Ultra Sun Protagonist. Stella is an Aether Foundation member although she has less than positive opinions on the Foundation itself. She was born in Alola and after meeting Lusamine and Wicke the 3 of them started a romantic relationship with each other. (Although Lusamine was hiding it from her husband and her husband from the 2 of them)

Eventually, Wicke and Stella broke things off with Lusamine since they didn't agree with her plans in the Aether Foundation and started being the people that her kids could confide in.

Stella worked outside of the Foundation to help keep Lillie and Nebby safe and try to stop Lusamine (and later Rainbow Rocket) before settling down as much as she could with Wicke taking in Lillie, Gladion and Guzma.

Sylph: Pokemon Shield Protagonist. Sylph is the younger sibling of Sylvia. They're rude and harsh and don't do well around other people. They have a tendency to be incredibly blunt and say whatever they please regardless of who they're talking to.

They live in Galar, staying their and taking over their brother's spot after his disappearance. Meeting Hop and deciding to take on the gym challenge.

They end up having to deal with Rose and his issues and win against him easily, having no trouble stopping him and getting Zamazenta. The eventually take Leon's spot as Champion although they don't take it to seriously. Leaving to go to the Isle of Armor and the Crown Tundra.

Sylvia: Pokemon Legends Arceus Protagonist. Sylvia is a mess <33 Prior to getting thrown out of the sky into the past by god, he lived in Galar with his family. He moved to a few different regions to help fill out Pokedexs (including Sinnoh where he lived with Rowan and Carnelia for a while) but always ending up back home.

In Galar he had a relationship/fling with Peony and Kabu before leaving to continue his work with the Pokedexs.

After being sent back to Hisui, he met Commander Kamado and would find almost any excuse to have to go see him for things. Even though he was supposed to be helping solve the issue of the rift and the Pokedex.

In the end he had to beat Volo as well as Volo's boyfriend/tag along in order to stop them from destroying everything. Post that him and Kamado got together and Sylvia accidentally became the reason his entire family exists... He never did get to go home, but it's fine because he gets to have a family of his own anyway.

if you read all of that im gonna make out with you.

#Pokemon #pokemon oc #pokemon let's go #pokemon hgss #pokemon oras #pokemon platinum #pokemon b2w2 #pokemon xy #pokemon usum #pokemon swsh #pokemon legends arceus #jeez thats a lot sorry #anyways they aren't canon characters but i hope yall like them :))#if you have questions just ask #id be happy to answer #my art #blaze draws

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insomanic-fanfication · 11 months

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Wanting to be honest

Under this line, I'm talking about an in-depth problem I have, maybe in hopes of people feeling like they aren't alone or to remind me that I'm not alone in this struggle. Especially since I always try to find support groups or someone to talk about them with. They are FOR the Eating disorder instead of trying to help.

If you are not ready to have this conversation with yourself or are not in the right headspace for this topic, Just enjoy the Cat gif and move on with your day. This also includes my mutuals; just because you love reading my post doesn't mean you have to read this one. I will not be mad over upset if you skip this one.

I want you all to know that you are all loved and deserve a great day.

CW: Child neglect, Growing up poor, Growing up in a hoarder's home, Old America parenting, Religious abuse, Generational trauma, Eating Disorders, Child Abuse, late diagnosed Autism, C-PTSD, Depression. At this point, it's labeled as Dead Dove Do Not Eat- IRL. I despise sugarcoating things, so here is me telling my story without having my coward of a family shaming me for making them look bad. Just because some of them have changed does not magically fix the pain I suffered and still heal.

We'll take mental breaks at multiple points within this post and give you links to Emergency numbers.

The first one:

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Section One: Before I was born

In a small town in Texas, USA. My Mom (age 16) was dating a man (age 18) and got pregnant due to a lack of sex education. Upon finding this out, my Mom's parents (Stepfather and Mother) forced her to have me and marry that man. So she and the child (me) wouldn't go to hell (Be the talk of the Church).

Throughout her pregnancy, the man we'll call SD (Sperm donor) locked my mother in their bedroom closet, only allowing her to eat bread and water. As well as rape and abuse her. Her parents (My grandparents) knew this was happening and did nothing because "it's not rape if you're dating or married." At some point during her pregnancy, my mother was pushed down a flight of stairs by SD.

The day I was born, I wasn't the only one. I had a stillborn twin; she was fully formed. Meaning, for a good while, I was holding hands and sharing womb space with a corpse.

Section Two: After I was born

Once I was born. My mom's parents never taught her how to raise me; instead, when something needed to be done, they grabbed me and shamed my mom for not knowing how to be a good mother. Basically, using me as their version of baby-trapping my mother to stay in contact with them. So they could have free labor to be as lazy as they pleased and have their own maid to keep their house clean.

I have no idea when these things happened, so I will mention them in this paragraph. SD sexually assaulted me while changing my diaper; Mom and he divorced, and my mom was kicked out of their apartment. Cutting to the only necessary information from up until age 12, I was being bounced around different family homes; while I lived with my grandparents, I could only really eat a few things; most of the time, they were either moldy or expired. Also, I was beaten and screamed at with a belt when I misbehaved, most days hearing them screaming and hitting each other. I also would be forced to sleep on a pissed and shit-on mattress, sometimes while it was still wet. Had to climb over piles of trash and junk that my mammaw hoarded. Along with being forced to clean the whole house by age 4. Doing the clothes and dishes, cooking, taking care of the animals, getting my grandpa ready, and waking up at 02:00 (Yes, even on school nights) to make lunches for my grandpaw.

While I lived at my Nanny's (Great Grandmaw), I did have great food and a living area. However, all I was used for by her was a grieving process; I was the replacement for her husband dying.

While living with my mom and who she was dating then (My 1st Step parent before she transitioned), she tried her best to be at least somewhat of a stable human being and mother. However, she could never afford therapy and couldn't entirely cut contact with her parents.

When she was married to my 2nd Step parent, my Step Dad, they had my living brother when I was in 2nd grade. All throughout my childhood, after that, my little brother came first, and what was left went to me.

Though during my childhood, I was constantly yelled at when I acted like a child and was called a selfish brat by many family members when my 5-year-old wanted attention. Because I didn't fucking know anything about ALS or death. I just knew my Papaw, an Airforce pilot, wasn't feeling okay. Until then, my lil brain had only seen him cry when I told him, "Welcome Home!" and honestly believed nothing could kill him.

Mental Health Break! ----

youtube

The context is done, So I will be talking about my Eating disorder and current eating problems. You can choose to click off now or continue reading when you are done with the video.

Now, the present problem I'm dealing with is trauma around food in general, but also possibly a binge eating disorder.

The cycle starts with eating a normal amount, then slowly eating less and less due to something wrong happening in the household. My mom screaming about something she couldn't find or the kitchen not being clean. Then, I start becoming replused by everything in the kitchen. Only seeing expired food. So I spent more and more time in my room. Until I realize I haven't eaten in 3 days.

I have a panic attack, thinking I will die, then eat. Then, I can't stop eating; I feel guilty if food is left on my plate because I feel like I'm being ungrateful for not eating everything. My brain refuses me to turn down the food people offer me. This will go on, until I vomit because my body can't handle everything, then I start eating again, Right after.

Then, I'll panic about becoming obese (my grandparents were), then the cycle repeats itself..

is there a happy end to this? No, the only good thing, is that we live in AZ now, and my grandparents have no way of talking to me.

#Youtube #eating disoder recovery #ed vent #truama dumping #Dead Dove Do Not Eat - IRL #Dead dove do no eat #childhood truama

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lieutenant-amuel · 2 years

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What do your ocs give their mothers on Mother’s Day?

Ajhanskdkkd my OCs are unlucky with mothers. Frida has a difficult relationship with her parents generally, Valerio and Matías' mothers are dead, and Ángel's left him and never saw him again after divorce :')

Ángel.

Anyway, I'll start with Ángel. He was just six when his parents got divorced, so I don't think he could give his mother much then. Anyway, he has always been affectionate, so he never missed an opportunity to say how much he loved her and give her warm hugs, and on Mother's day it was just a doubled surge of love. Besides, he always loved cooking with his father, so I imagine them preparing some special treats for Alicia on this day.

When Alicia left, Ángel felt very lonely (and to be fair, he still does) and Mother's day stopper being an enjoyable day for him. He may even get annoyed (although he doesn't show it) with other people having fun time with their mothers on this day, since he can't do it anymore himself. Anyway, he celebrates this day with his extended family (maybe I'll introduce them someday if anyone is interested) and prepares something special for his aunts and grandmother (more likely something crocheted since he crochets, but I can also imagine him arranging little performances for them with his cousins) to be fair, I want to write a Mother's day chapter, exploring Ángel's pain regarding his mother, but I don't know how to do it for now :')

Frida.

Frida has a better relationship with her mother than she does with her father, although they're still not soft enough to each other. Anyway, since Frida is an artist and has a talent for designing, I can imagine her preparing for Cornelia either a painting or a decorated wardrobe item. Plus, they also visit galleries or theater together, since they both admire aesthetics.

Valerio.

Valerio's mother died when he was eighteen, but they shared a very strong bond. There's a story about one of the Mother's days in Valerio and his mother's life, which I won't directly write in my fanfiction (but I think I'll mention it), so I can tell it now. Valerio's mother was a jeweler, and Valerio adored the ocean when he was a child. He loved exploring the ocean floor and one day, he decided to gather pearls to make a necklace for his mother as a present on the Mother's day (yes, he was an adventurous child :'))

So, he prepared everything he needed for his "mission" and was trying to collect the pearls from the oysters, but it wasn't really successful. They either were empty, or he simply didn't have enough air for a deeper diving. Anyway, I didn't really figure the whole story (I'm really sorry for that ×)), but the point is that Valerio was trying really hard to find a needed amount of pearls for the necklace, but eventually, he got just one. He was extremely disappointed and was ashamed that he didn't prepare anything else for his mother on this day, but nonetheless showed it to her, and she was really touched by his wish to make her happy.

Exploring the ocean floor and collecting just one pearl has become Valerio's Mother's day tradition, and with every year he was closer and closer to finish the necklace for his mother, but couldn't, since she died.

Matías.

And Matías lost his parents when he was an infant, so he never knew his mother :')

Those are the only characters I can think about, since they're the mains and developed better than the rest. Anyway, if I remember more, I'll try to update it somehow. Thank you so much for the ask! It was super fun to write <3

#Ask me anything #My OCs #Ángel Suarez #Frida Aakster #Matías Gallardo #I also imagine Emilio having a close relationship with his mother but I didn't think enough of them to come up with anything specific sorry #I have so little children characters akuanskdkkd #Man I forgot Fausto :0 #Anyway he definitely plays violin to Naomi and arranges sailing trips #Valerio Álvarez

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