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iamasaddie · 8 months

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come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train

PIMP!JOEL part 1, masterlist paring: Joel Miller x fem!afab!Reader rating: explicit word count: 6k (I told ya) summary: there's a secret you didn't know you had, and you're forced to tell it to Joel // Joel Miller is still a pimp and you still need money, that's it. .a/n: can't believe it actually fucking happened. i'm drained, see y'all sometime. an honest thanks to my lil beta/guardian angel @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog it's hard to imagine this fic happening without her, and my forever support, my ride or fucking ride @bearsbeetsbeskar . I love y'all! warnings (for the series): dub-con(ish); explicit sexual content; Reader is described as bony and malnurished (hungry, duh); sex work; fingering; both protected and unprotected PinV; 69; FMF; oral sex (for everybody); ass play; unprotected anal sex; sex toys; dirty talking; might be something else who knows; NO USE OF Y/N warnings (for the chapter): female masturbation, inexperienced reader, fingering, voyerism (kind of); praise kink; mild dirty talk ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴏꜰ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴅɪᴄᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇ. ꜱᴛᴀʏ ꜱᴀꜰᴇ, ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴇɴꜱᴜᴀʟ ꜱᴇx ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ.

It was strange waking up in a warm, nice-smelling room. You’ve spent half the night struggling to fall asleep on the couch that didn't bruise your shoulder blades with its hardness. It was laughable, honestly, any other person in your place would be out like a light, and yet you tossed and turned, your body sinking in the softness of Joel’s couch made you almost uncomfortable. That was until he peeked his head from his room, face wrinkled and sleepy, hair sticking in all the different directions.

"I swear to God, rabbit, if you don't stop spinning like a goddamn rotisserie chicken, I’ll drag this couch outside with you on it."

You pushed the blanket he gave you up to your chin and quickly nodded. Who would've thought the man was such a light sleeper.

It was another half an hour or so until sleep finally took you. Time after time, you replayed the events of the past evening in your head, starting with how Joel approached you on the street and ending with the moment when he literally shoved a set of washed bed linen and a small pillow into your hands. He nodded at the sofa, indicating where you could spend your night, and then towards the closed door - you assumed that his room was hidden behind it - and muttered something resembling "if you need me, knock, but better not, I've had a long day."

You wanted to thank him, but for some reason the words wrapped around your tongue like a spider web, not allowing it to move, so you just nodded and began to make up the sofa. Joel stood there for a couple more moments, and then he himself disappeared behind a wooden door that almost lost its once white color with time.

That was the door you'd been staring at for the last half hour, constantly reminding yourself to blink when your eyes started to water. You had no idea what was ahead of you. It was scary, truly, very fucking scary; but you could also imagine what would happen to you if you hadn't agreed to this fucking adventure.

You were trying to guess what tomorrow would bring you. Would Joel take you to his birdies? Or bring your first client here? Although it was unlikely that he brought unfamiliar men to fuck prostitutes in his apartment ... Nerves gradually overtook all your limbs, icy needles bit the tips of your fingers, cold sweat covered your feet with unpleasant moisture. You turned on your side and curled up in the fetal position, pulling the T-shirt over your knees and hiding your face under the blanket. Tomorrow everything will change. No matter what happens, tomorrow everything would be different. The silence of the apartment was broken by the steady sound of Joel's snoring, which eventually lulled you to sleep.

You were pulled out by a sharp noise and a streaming whisper of Joel's curses from the longest and deepest sleep in the last eternity.

"Fuckin' shit goddamn piece of motherfuckin' crap. Bitch."

You didn't know what elicited such a passionate reaction from the man who seemed more than calm and composed yesterday, but for some reason it made you snicker and you slapped your hand over your mouth to stop the joyful sound.

"Mornin', rabbit. Thought you went into a coma."

He turned to look at you, the open space of the kitchen and living room meant that you were in full view of each other. While you were trying to find a way out of your blanket cocoon, you allowed yourself to look at your host and future boss. Morning Joel was not much different from the one you saw yesterday, except that his hair stuck out in different directions so that the gray strands were more visible, and his shirt was exchanged for a T-shirt. He still wore the same jeans. Barefoot, he moved almost silently around the kitchen opening and closing drawers, taking something from the shelves. You couldn't help but notice how the muscles were obviously moving under his T-shirt, how the dark washed material of his jeans intimately hugged his powerful thighs and buttocks. Whatever he was, he was devilishly handsome. Which ironically suited his reputation.

"Ya gonna keep starin' at my ass or lift yours off the couch and have some breakfast with me?"

You didn't notice that the man looked over his shoulder and noticed your shameless examination of his body a couple of minutes ago. The blood rushed to your cheeks and you felt the familiar heat of shame.

"S-sorry, I wasn't staring."

"'s okay, rabbit. Even nice, considering what we're…" If he said something, you didn't hear, because he mumbled it to himself. You sat up straight, blanket falling off your chest, but still covered your lower half where you currently wore only old cotton panties.

"What we're what?"

"Ehh," he scratched his beard, considering if he should tell you or not and deciding against it. "We'll talk about it after breakfast. And after you take a shower."

"You have a shower here?" You knew that usually, if people or small families were lucky enough to have a separate apartment for themselves, they'd still have to share the shower with other apartments on that floor. It was terrible, but some would rather choose that than have a shower in their home but have to share the place with three assigned roommates like you did.

"Well, I'm definitely not showering in the rain." His attempt at a joke didn't cheer you up, the gears of your brain were still spinning in an attempt to guess what was in store for you. Apart from the obvious. As if hearing your thoughts, Joel once again glanced in your direction, brown eyes ran over your face and body for a couple of seconds, until he shook his head at something he thought about, leaving you in the dark. "C'mon, rabbit, coffee's gettin' cold."

"Coffee?"

When the first jets of scalding hot water flowed over your body, you laughed, letting the water get into your mouth and nose. This feeling was so unfamiliar, but for some reason you missed it like hell. Almost boiling hot, the water like a passionate embrace enveloped your body, every drop was a kiss to your tired skin. For a couple of minutes you just enjoyed the new, yet so familiar feeling, marveling at what comfort such a simple act could bring.

Joel's bathroom was small, bright, and terribly clean. There were no dirty things scattered on the white tile floor, no black mold in the corners, damnit, there were barely any stains on the goddamn mirror. Fucking psychopath. The shower itself wasn’t surrounded by walls, just a small threshold below that did not allow water to spill over the entire bathroom floor, and a simple plastic curtain that protected everything from splashes. A bar of soap and a washcloth found its place on a makeshift shelf on the sidewall. By that time, you wouldn't be surprised if he had twenty-five jars of various products ranging from balm for his slightly curly hair to a cream for his ballsack. You grinned to yourself as you lathered your hands. Your sense of smell was pierced by the odor of pine and something masculine, although you could not name it. This was exactly how Joel should smell. The man was a mystery to you, but every little detail from his slightly manic cleanliness to the smell he chose made total sense to you. You started to wash the soap off your skin, lightly massaging your own shoulders, arms, legs, until your fingers thoughtlessly reached your pussy.

You never actually paid attention to yourself down there, never wondered if you looked wrong or right, didn't find it in yourself to care. Your philosophy was that as long as it didn't hurt, it was just fine.

Your lack of sexual experience never bothered you either. There was nothing you could do about it, not when surviving alone took that much of your strength.

What did Joel say yesterday? Sex is good. Well, you'd be the last to know. The one meaningless encounter you had was so long ago that your partner was already faceless in your mind. How could you find pleasure with someone if you couldn't even do that alone? You had no idea what excited you, what made you feel good. You didn't even know what made you feel bad. With every passing minute you grew more and more desperate. What the fuck were you thinking about when you said yes? One encounter would earn you the name of the worst whore in the neighborhood. If you could just...

Your hands traveled across your body, squeezing your soft tits, caressing your waist, and going lower, where you knew your pleasure had to lie. You closed your eyes in an attempt to find something sexy to think of. Without trying hard, an image of Joel leaning over the sink popped in your mind. As your deft fingers awkwardly tried to play with your soft flesh this and that way, you just continued replaying the way his hips moved, the broadness of his shoulders, the obvious strength in his thick thighs. You bit your lips, trying to shut down the little whimpers and moans your body tried to push out ignoring the calls of morality, or your own reason. You kept circling your buzzing clit, fingers growing tired, arousal seeping from you but release nowhere close. It felt like you were on the verge of sneezing, almost-almost-almost, and then nothing, just the devastating feeling that left your eyes watery and nose running.

You let out a frustrated groan, and then screamed, as you heard a loud banging on the door and then Joel's voice no less loud. "Rabbit, are you boiling alive there or what? Sorry to say, but hot water ain't forever, get outta there."

"Sorry! I'll be out in a sec."

You rushed to turn off the water, surprised that you didn't notice it getting gradually colder. Getting out, you dried yourself off with a big towel Joel gave you after showing you to the bathroom. You reached your hand to the only pair of panties you had on you, frowning at the material still being mostly wet since you only washed them before popping in the shower. Sighing but with no other choice, you put them on, wincing when cold wet material touched your still tensed core. Then there was the matter of clothes. You only had what you wore when you came here, and putting that on now would make the shower you took futile. You should have asked Joel for a t-shirt or something. The thought caught you off guard. You just met the man, and here you were thinking about taking his clothes? But then again, you agreed for this man to practically sell your body, so what's a pair of shared clothing items?

With no other choice, you put a towel around yourself, glad that it was big enough to cover you up to mid-thigh. You were just going to ask Joel for some clothes, and then you'd wash your own.

He was waiting for you in the living room, still dressed the same, but his hair looked as if he combed it. For a few moments you just stood there looking at each other, droplets of water fell from your hair and traced your skin. You wished you could read his mind as you watched him slowly taking in your form - from your bare feet to your wet head - with an emotionless look on his face. You spoke first.

"Can I ask for some clothes? Mine's dirty. Really dirty."

He swallowed, as if thinking over your request. "You won't need it now."

"I'm sorry?" That sounded more like ‘what the fuck’, but you weren't known for the ability to keep a poker face.

"I need you to show me how you get yourself off. I need to know what we're working with." He shrugged his shoulders like it was the most mundane thing you were discussing. His familiarity with sex, the easy relationship he had with something so unknown to you, made you feel like a child. Someone inexperienced, and not important enough to engage with. Someone small. You hated the kinds of people that made you feel that way as much as you hated bulky FEDRA soldiers covered in their armor from head to toe. Their power over you was undeniable and made you feel lesser, transformed you into a bug under a giant's thumb, so easy to pick up and crush.

"What do you mean?" That was obviously the wrong question, but it was the only one you could think of, completely taken aback by his words. You kind of knew what would happen to you in theory, you just didn't know what exactly to expect, whether he'd take you to some shady place full of tired women, or if you'd have a room of your own in a dark basement. The only thing you knew for certain was that soon there'd be a stranger between your legs helping you to earn your living. Not once a thought that you'd have to perform whatever act in front of Joel crossed your mind. It just didn't. "Don't I just... Y’know?"

"What? Get your first client for your pretty face and then leave him unsatisfied, and me with a bad reputation?" Joel raised his eyebrows and shook his head, something he'd been doing a lot recently. "No, rabbit, that’s not how it works here."

A bucket of ice-cold water thrown over a sun-licked body would have felt warmer than a single tear of sweat that dripped down your clean back at that moment. "So you, what, fuckin' test every girl you’ve got?" The slight anger that started boiling in you, but it wasn't pointed at Joel per se, you were irritated with yourself for making the man in front of you into something he wasn't. Into something more human, someone who might have some respect for you, when he clearly was just another man that looked at you as if you were a cunt that occasionally talked.

"I don't test, I make sure they're ready for what's to come and they know what they do. Most of my girls, they have more experience than apparently you do," you internally scolded yourself for the embarrassment that ran through you when his words settled in, there was nothing wrong with not sleeping around, you thought. There was nothing wrong with you. Joel, seemingly oblivious to your turmoil, continued, "so they just show me some stuff, and then I'm content that they can do the job."

You cracked your knuckles, freshly cut fingernails unable to leave the bloody crescents on your palms, something that would help distract yourself from an upcoming panic attack. Your stomach made a summersault as you tried to even out your breathing.

"What?" Joel came closer to you, his broad frame in a simple t-shirt and jeans was towering above you, and that feeling of being too small, too unimportant and weak flooded your lungs again. "You're ready to fuck a stranger, but can't show me how you fuck your pussy? Not sure you can stay, then."

Your head snapped and you met his eyes. They were too curious for a person who was ready to let you go, but you were too deep in your nervous breakdown to notice.

"No, I can, it's just… " He's gonna know and he's gonna throw you out, you thought. No way he wouldn't. He's gonna laugh at you and you're gonna die of hunger in the streets. And then the rats will eat your face. A constant fear that settled in your brain the moment you saw a guy in the streets who met that same fate.

"It's just what?" His voice brought you back from the image of different pests feasting on your lifeless body.

"I know how sex works, okay?" You could still try, maybe he'd be forgiving for your honesty. "But I didn't spend that much time doing this." You threw your hands pointing around in a vague gesture that clarified nothing.

His face was all colors of surprise and he didn't even try to hide it. Brown pools filled with merriment rather than disappointment. "This? Masturbating? You spent over twenty years not getting off?"

"Well, I'm sorry that wasn't my fucking top priority when I was barely conscious to get my body to the bed after working for 17 hours, okay? To an apartment that I shared with three other people!" You felt anger surpassing your shame on the surface and boiling over. You knew snapping at him wasn't the best way to get in the man's good graces, most likely he'd just think you too difficult, and being inexperienced on top of that? Well, that's a one way ticket to the streets. But you couldn't help yourself. Did he actually think that you, what, lived in lavish? Coming home to the silk sheets, having a glass of wine before spending hours on end learning of the pleasure of your body? Was that the kind of girls he had up there? If that was the case, you couldn't hold a candle up to them.

Your days were long, painful and dirty. You'd been lucky enough if you had enough energy to wipe yourself with a semi-clean rag that was once your t-shirt, as you tried to leave the pitiful excuse for the bathroom and hide in your room. Sometimes you were so hungry and exhausted that you didn't even take your dirty boots off, climbing on your bed, stuffing your hands under your head and praying for the sleep to come sooner and relieve you from the pain of your empty stomach and bloodied blisters.

"Okay, okay, don't get so fuckin' aggressive." He raised his hands in defense, "It's okay. At least I know what we have here."

"So, what... I don't qualify? Should I let myself out?"

"No, you should drop the attitude and sit your ass on the couch." He surprised you again, maybe you should have stopped thinking about the man being the Devil's son and right hand. "Lose the towel and underwear and I'm gonna guide you through it, okay?"

Or maybe not.

"You gonna…?"

"No," Joel didn't let you mind stray too far, "I'm gonna watch and tell you what to do, okay? I've got more than enough experience to be able not to touch you and still help you cum."

You huffed, the arrogance this man had must've been bigger than his dick. "Cocky much?"

"That, too." He smiled knowingly and passed your question as a joke, but his face quickly turned serious - professional? - as he gave you another way out. "So, you're in or out?"

You didn't bother to reply, turning to walk towards the couch. Your barely cooperative fingers trembled and you forced yourself to relax as you lifted the towel and sat your ass on the couch, hissing when the cold leather met your asscheeks. Did he make your bed? Joel's eyes were on your covered mound and he smirked.

"That's adorable." His index finger - you thought it was at least as thick as both of yours - pointed at your pussy that was now covered in simple cotton panties with a print that said "Thursday" and a sleepy cartoon cat above it. "Today's Monday, though."

Your face heated, all blood from your body traveling to your cheeks and you mumbled, cursing another sign of your poor sexual experience, "I didn't have rations to s - -"

"It doesn't matter," Joel sounded like he meant it, and moved a chair for himself to sit opposite of you. "Some will find it endearing, and others don't care what you wear as long as they know you'll take it off."

You nodded. It wasn't exactly the encouragement you've been hoping for, but then again, it wasn't Joel's job to encourage you. He got comfortable in the chair, spreading his legs wide in what looked like a power move but he seemed to do it unconsciously, and looked at you expectantly, "Take 'em off."

You nodded, mostly to yourself, and hooked your fingers on the still wet material, tugging it down and hearing a wet slap sound as they ungracefully landed at your feet. Unconsciously, your legs pried together, thighs trying to hide what's laying between them.

Joel was sitting across from a big window, gloomy day's light dancing on his face. He kept looking at you, not hurrying, but visibly losing his patience as his nostrils flared when you just continued pressing your thighs together.

He closed his eyes, rubbing his eyelids, and then focusing back at you.

"Do you want a drink?"

"What?"

"I'm going to pour you a drink, but only this once. I don't allow my girls to be under any kind of substance, understand?"

He got up from the chair and went back to the kitchen, leaving you dumbfounded and half naked alone on the couch. Soon he came back with a glass half filled with amber liquid and handed it to you.

"It's not the best, so better drink it fast, okay?"

You nodded, holding your breath and downing the burning liquid. It wasn't the first time you drank, but you were never a fan of alcohol, usually it only led to an hour of good time followed by at least eight hours of suffering. Joel took the glass from your hand as you coughed, and returned to his seat.

"To make your sexual experience more pleasurable, you need to be excited. You have to be anticipating the pleasure." His voice became more honeyed, or did alcohol already kick in? Whatever it was, you found yourself leaning back on the couch, and relaxing your thighs, though still not spreading them apart. "You need to love your body, you need to be wet and needy. If you don't need anything, you won't get anything. It works like that with everything, including pleasure."

You couldn't take your eyes off his face, furrowed eyebrows cast a shadow over darkening eyes, plump lips that were periodically caressed by his tongue, curved under his words that vibrated under your skin.

"Love your body, rabbit. Caress it, kiss it, excite it. Make yourself needy for your touch, and only then, when you feel like you will cry if you don't do it, can you touch that sweet part of you."

Thoughtlessly, with his words as your accompaniment, with his eyes as your witnesses, you let your hands start caressing your body. Face, neck, hands, with every light touch you grew hotter, with every light touch you wanted more.

"That's it, rabbit, good girl." His voice was barely louder than a whisper, it intertwined with your breathing and you no longer cared how many people were looking at you - a hundred, or him alone. Your hands pulled at the knot holding the towel on your chest, completely exposing you in front of a virtual stranger. As if possessed, you continued stroking yourself, concentrating on the tense nipples, pinching and immediately caressing them with the soft pads of your fingers. Your moan drowned out the quiet "fuck" that Joel gritted through his clenched teeth, and your tightly closed eyes didn't allow you to see him leaning closer, as if he was trying to sniff your arousal in the air.

Your movements grew bolder, greedier. You continued to caress your body, squeezing, pinching and immediately soothing the sensitive skin with gentle touches. Your neck was covered with beads of sweat, and your tongue was constantly moistening your dried lips. Your body was buzzing, you felt like every nerve under your skin was raising to attention, every pore seeking the pleasure your touches promised. Your pussy throbbed, and you clenched your thighs together but now for a completely different reason.

"Touch your clit, rabbit, go on."

His voice was low, like a growl, it also sounded like a beast that was trying to break out of you. Forcing yourself to move slower with all your might, through the hollow between your breasts, diving into the pool of your navel, you soon brought the fingers of your right hand to your almost vibrating clit. Trying not to lose touch with your pleasure, you continued to pull at your swollen nipples followed by Joel's pleased hums. As if forgetting to report to your brain, your thighs parted, exposing your thirsty, wet core where your fingers were reaching. Not wanting to torture yourself anymore, you traced your middle and ring finger through your slit to your sopping entrance to gather some slick and brought them back to your twitching clit.

Your body shattered, as you let out a broken cry when your fingers started playing with your pussy. It was still tense, remembering the pleasure you failed to get mere moments - or was it hours - ago. Up, down, circle. Up, down, circle. Faster, faster, faster still. Your fingers felt cramped, your release nowhere close. Tears sprung to your face and you let out helpless cries and moans, knowing full well that you're failing. Again.

Was there something so wrong with you? Were your settings so fucked up, that even though you wanted the pleasure, you felt your orgasm mocking you so so close, you still couldn't grab it.

Your movements became more frustrated, frantic, almost painful at this point, as your left hand proceeded to practically torture your raw nipples.

"Stop, rabbit." You ignored the voice of the only witness of your most intimate failure and continued flaying your sensitive pussy with rough strokes, almost like you were trying to get revenge at her for failing you. "I said stop, dammit." A large, slightly damp palm wrapped around the wrist of your possessed hand and only then did you abruptly open your eyes, realizing how close Joel was. Your face was hurting from the strain with which you wrinkled it, your teeth almost began to crumble right in your mouth.

"I told you to love your body, not to take revenge on it for all the sins of humanity. What the hell, rabbit?"

"I was almost there," you sobbed pathetically. Your once again lost pleasure made your whole body ache, like you were twisted in the wrong way, bones broken, skin bruised.

"Yes, you were, and what happened then? Why the fuck did you go serial killer on your poor pussy?"

"I couldn't."

"You couldn't?" His eyebrows shot up as he waited for you to continue.

"I get to this point where I feel like it's right there, like I might cum any second, and then I don't." You dropped your head, eyes raking over your naked body, filling your head with embarrassment as Joel, on his knees in front of you and way too close to your still aching pussy, acted as if it was the most normal situation ever. Maybe it was, you couldn't understand anything anymore. "I think I'm broken," your whisper was defeated, just as your spirit.

Joel was still holding your wrist, his thumb thoughtlessly drawing circles on your skin when he shook his head and tried to look into your salt-soaked eyes.

"You're not broken, rabbit. You just think too much with that pretty head'a yours. Y'see," his hand let go of yours, and he brought his index finger to your thigh, tracing abstract lines on your damp skin. You didn't shy away or tell him to stop, so he continued, "pleasure ain't in your head. You need to learn to turn it off."

Easier said than done, you huffed. You were overthinking your whole life, every decision, every movement, every fucking breath. If having an orgasm meant to stop doing that, you were fucked.

"And what if I can't?"

"Then you'll have to learn, and while you do that, you can try giving off your control." You met his eyes, curiosity pooling in yours, determination in his. "Will you let me help you out a little?"

You were either too tired, or too scared to ask him to elaborate what he meant by that. Your body was tired and needy, wanting something you couldn’t give it. Maybe he could. He brought you to this point without even touching. You nodded once, not wanting to appear too eager. Joel nodded in return, sealing the deal.

His hot palms wrapped around your thighs, spreading them wider and allowing him to fit between. He didn't look up at you anymore, all his attention was turned to the center of your womanhood, to the place where you were burning with hellfire. He must have felt at home.

“Look at her, so pretty, so needy. She just needs the right kind of attention.”

It was on the verge of ridiculous to hear him speak about your pussy like that, but you were far from laughing when his thick fingers pried your drenched lips open, exposing your clit to his eyes. His face was too close, and for a moment you could swear you saw him lick his lips, an action that made you both excited and uneasy. There was no way he would…No, as his thumb connected to the burning skin to the right of your clit, somewhere where you rubbed yourself raw, you gave yourself a smack for your passing thought. He’s a man, he wouldn’t. He started circling your clitoris with the rougher tip of his thumb, without directly touching it. Joel’s movements were slow, patient. He listened to your breath hiking up, little puffs of air roughly leaving your lungs when he circled too close to the pinnacle of your pleasure. Your eyes went glassy, looking at him staring directly at your cunt and whispering little praises did something to your body. It elicited a reaction you weren’t ready for.

“Pussy so obedient, she takes everything and asks for more. Hear how wet she is?” Proving his words he dipped lower, gathering a gush of slick that never stopped streaming from your entrance. The sounds were vulgar, you never heard them. You were never this wet before, and you’d start worrying if the physical joy he brought to you wasn’t so overwhelming.

You felt yourself climbing on that familiar ladder of pleasure, for the third time today your body started thrumming, begging you for release. Sending to hell all the thoughts holding you back, you let the music of sex pour out of your very gut. Quiet moans, desperate cries - all of it only raised the level of your pleasure. “Good girl, don’t hold it. Let me hear you sing.”

Joel continued building sensation stroking diagonally across your clit. His surprisingly soft, light touch gradually became more intense as he exchanged stroking to playing with pressure. He let his thumb and pointer finger squeeze your sensitive bud, gently gripping your swollen skin.

You felt like you were about to be torn apart, you just lacked something… You couldn't understand what and almost sobbed in despair. Joel noticed that your melody was becoming minor. “What do you need, rabbit? What does your beautiful pussy want? Listen to her.”

“I don’t know,” your body thrashed like you were possessed, but Joel pressed his left hand into your navel steadying you.

“Yes, you do. Listen to your body, baby, come on.”

“Fingers, please, put your fingers in me!”

“Good girl,” he whispered victoriously. His thumb returned to stroking your puffy, tortured clit just in time as two of his thick fingers entered your begging body.

No matter how much you studied yourself, no matter how many fingers you shoved into your inexperienced hole, nothing could compare to how Joel's fingers stretched you. Just two, they brought a burning sensation, which with its sole existence pushed you beyond the limits of pleasure known to man. His pace, which started out slow and gentle, steadily increased, bringing a new level of intensity. You felt your body gravitating towards the much needed release as the blood rushed to your core. Joel never stopped paying attention to your clit, drawing tight circles around the tense bud as he kept exploring your insides with his fingers. Your mind was blank as the arousal overtook all of your senses, goosebumps danced on your skin and the salty taste of your sweat gave your lips a new flavor. As if he was possessing your body, without mistake Joel kept zoning in on the areas your body responded to the most, his touch more rhythmic and consistent as he went. Every moan and tiny gasp that left you he used as the roadmap to your inevitable pleasure. You let yourself get lost in his movements, the pleasure he elicited from your body, and the heavy breathing that you both shared. Your cunt enveloped his digits perfectly, tight entrance drooling around thick fingers that shallowly thrusted in and out of you in a steady motion, curling at the very end and touching a spot you didn’t know you owned. You were exhausted with all of the sensation as you finally cried out, your own hands squeezed your tits enough to leave bruises.

The feeling that enslaved your body was all-consuming, and you were too consumed by euphoria to notice the hungry, almost possessed look Joel sported on his face as your juices gushed all over his hand.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, rabbit?"

Joel got off the floor and threw himself on the couch beside you. With a quick and efficient motion he tugged the slightly wet towel from under you and cowered your naked front as much as he could. Your lips curved in a tight-lipped smile as you wordlessly thanked him.

"It was hard, doing this." As soon as your brain cleared from the post-orgasming fog, you started thinking again. Bees of rationality stinging your still soft and barely functioning body, making you doubt everything. "And I could only cum when you helped me. Don't think the clients will be up for that."

"Do you think you could masturbate and make yourself cum on your own now?" He leaned his head against the back of the sofa, but turned slightly to you, watching how the familiar sense of doubt twisted your face.

"I think so, yeah. You... you showed me and... Why?" You copied his pose, and now your heads were turned to each other ten centimeters apart. You didn't find it awkward.

"I can show you everything else, too. If you're afraid or not sure. I mean it's not hard to find a man who'll get off on your innocence," you wrinkled your nose imagining a pervert that would ask you to put on bows and white stockings. "Or I can guide you through, teach you anything you'll need before you start workin'."

"Why would you do that?"

"Why not?" He shrugged his shoulders, trying to find a more convincing response. "It's in my best interest, isn't it?"

You shrugged your shoulders back, your nakedness becoming mundane to you, even though you started feeling chills creeping up your body as the towel failed to keep you warm.

"So?"

"Yeah, I think it'd be best," the pleasure Joel gave to you still thrummed through your veins, making your decision easier than it should've been. "For the both of us."

thank you for reading, leave a comment if you liked it!

#joel miller x reader #iamasaddie fic #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fic #tlou fic

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milkpup · 4 months

Text

｡⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son

›› chapter 4 ›› nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!

artist: 百分二之一 / https://pin.it/7suU92k

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ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ

›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing

‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.

‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen

‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent

‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, AGED UP CHARACTERS, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity

‹𝟹 notes: ch 5 is being written, however i've taken a break on this while i finish my other fic (it's coming soon :D). this is the most up to date chapter i have on here and my ao3. this chapter is FIREEEEEEE tho !!

!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!

! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !

Chapter 4: Impulse

Toji took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette while you were taking a shower. The crisp morning air was cool on his skin as he took a long drag of the cig. He puffed it away, lost in thoughts about what you guys should do today.

The clouds were starting to roll in, and it looked serene from Toji’s balcony. They didn’t live anywhere fancy or expensive, but it was nice being able to feel the peace of the breeze and the comfort of the sun’s warmth. He didn’t want to keep taking things for granted. He would accept and appreciate with enthusiasm from now on.

He inhales more of the smoke before snuffing out the cigarette in an ashtray. There were errands for the house you both needed to attend to, but he also wanted to make it a fun adventure into the city.

The steaming hot water of the shower soothed your aching body. You took this moment to think about the past few days and what had transpired. Messing around with Megumi, Toji acting uncharacteristically nice, and the heat of Toji’s gaze as you walked towards the shower. You could feel his eyes glued to your back as you walked away. You didn’t know what to think of it, but your body sure as hell did.

The attention was kinda nice. You liked feeling wanted, even in this fucked up way.

You foamed up your soap before washing your body, quickly finishing up your shower. You still had to get dressed and do your hair and makeup, and you didn’t want to make Toji wait.

You got out of the shower, wrapping the towel around your body. You leave and make your way towards your room, dripping and only covered by a measly towel. The steam escaped the bathroom, clouding the surrounding area.

Megumi isn’t paying much attention to his surroundings as he walks towards his room. Mindlessly scrolling through twitter, he bumps into you. He startles you enough to where your towel shifts in place, revealing your cleavage.

It’s not enough to see anything substantial, but for Megumi, it’s more than enough. He knows what’s under there anyway, and seeing you dripping wet with only a towel to cover yourself was sending explicit thoughts straight to his brain.

He blushes, apologizes, and quickly walks away towards his room, head down in embarrassment.

You shrug, not really putting much thought into it as you reach your room and close the door behind you. You don’t want to dress up for a simple errand run, so you decide upon black leggings and a fluffy, oversized sweater. You can’t choose between fuzzy boots or simple converse, but ultimately choose the latter.

Brushing your hair and putting it up into a claw clip was simple enough for the look. Light makeup, nothing too crazy, maybe a little eyeliner and you’re done soon enough.

You grab your bag and phone, leaving your room. You see Toji waiting for you, sitting on the couch talking about pointless stuff with Megumi. He sees movement out of the corner of his eye and looks up at you.

The contrast between a cute, fluffy, and oversized sweater with tight leggings that hug your hips is extremely pleasing for him. Toji is already getting up, making his way towards the front door.

You quickly walk over to where Megumi is sitting on the couch and rustle his hair a bit. “Bye Gumi, text me if you need anything from me!” You smile at him and walk away, towards Toji.

Megumi notices the exact same details of your body as Toji. Like father, like son of course. He’s thinking back to when he bumped into you, almost dropping your towel and revealing yourself. He licks his lips. And now? Watching you walk away, perfect ass in those tight as fuck leggings? He was already envisioning how he wants to rip those leggings off and take you right there, in front of his dad.

You and Toji are heading into the city, running errands, but also just keeping each other company. You both agreed grocery shopping should be last so you could head home right after; so now Toji is driving you both to the shopping plaza.

He plays “dad rock” (think: Nickelback, Green Day, AC/DC type of stuff), but you find it endearing anyways. Not much needs to be said, you sit without speaking much just appreciating each other’s presence. You admire how nonchalant he seems, one hand gripping the steering wheel as the other rests on the center console. His clothes don’t do much to hide his muscular build, scars covering most of his body. The ruggedness of his scars and the rigidness of his muscles are hard to look away from.

Toji notices you staring, but he says nothing. He lets you have his moment, as he lightly smirks while watching the road. You avert your gaze after what feels like eons, feeling embarrassed at your obvious oogling of the man in front of you. You flushed, looking away. You felt wrong and immoral, “This man is like a father to me” kept replaying in your head, louder and louder. Despite this, you were helpless to control the heat you could feel making its way between your legs. You felt ashamed, feeling this way about a man who was basically your father.

You both arrive at a shopping plaza, numerous stores and shops packed full with other customers. The weekends were always the busiest, especially around lunch time. Toji parks the car and gets out before opening your door for you. “Princess,” he speaks out, his voice sweet like honey. He would sometimes call you that growing up, but it was very infrequent now at your grown age.

You blush a bit at the sudden usage of your nickname and thank him. “You’re always so kind to me, thank you.” You can’t meet his gaze, but you know it’s locked on you. “Where do you wanna go first?” You ask as you step out of the black sedan.

“Wherever you’d like, doll.” Your mind starts racing at the new pet name he has for you, but you try to not let your face turn more crimson than it already has.

“O-okay… let’s just start walking and browse until we find something!” You probably said this more for you, so you could take a few steps ahead of Toji and hide your face. He follows behind you, allowing you to lead the way.

Your shopping spree is pretty uneventful, full of buying some basics like tank tops, t-shirts, leggings, and the occasional plushie. You pass by a lingerie store, and some of the new designs catch your eye. You start gravitating toward the shop’s entrance, telling Toji he could wait in the main area if he’s uncomfortable, but he shakes his head and keeps following you.

Your cheeks are heating up again at the idea of Toji following you around in this intimate setting. You brush it off and keep walking through the displays and counters of bras, bralettes, and other cute lingerie. You pick out a white lacy set of a bralette with matching panties; it’s soft to the touch and dainty.

Toji clears his throat. “Those are nice…. But what about this?” He’s holding up a pink babydoll slip. “It’s cute.” He’s weirdly averting your gaze while holding up the garment.

“Yess!! That’s adorable!!” You take it from his hands, admiring the ruffles and lace adorned with a few bows.

“I’ll get it for ya, if you want, doll.” He’s meeting your eyes again, looking into your soul as you’re practically melting in front of him. You’re convinced you are a blushing mess, and honestly, that’s not the only mess right now.

“Thank you… but you don’t have to…” You’re looking down at the dress again, unable to face him out of embarrassment.

“I want to.” You weren’t sure, but you thought you saw him lick his lips as he made that statement.

You nod. You make sure the size is correct and start making your way to the checkout counter. You’re called to the register as the women greets you.

She tries to make small talk about how cute the set is when she notices the dress. “This is so cute! My boyfriend loves when I wear this too!” You freeze when you realize she assumes you and Toji are a couple.

Toji chuckles a bit. “I see he has good taste as well. I’m looking forward to seeing it later…” He finishes, his voice deepening a bit. You can’t mistake it now, he is definitely playing with you. As much as it confuses you, it excites you tenfold. Thoughts of him admiring you, touching you, maybe more… are rushing through your head making you lightheaded.

He pays for the items and you both leave. The plaza is an open shopping center, and storm clouds had already been accumulating. Shortly after stepping out, it starts to lightly rain. You both rush to take cover next to a building adjacent to the shop you were just in.

You’re both against the wall, with you lightly panting after the slight workout. You’re giggling now, humored that you didn’t read the forecast and thoughts like of course it would rain right now. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. You hadn’t even noticed Toji was no longer by your side until he was right in front of you, hand place above your head on the wall.

He was immensely close, and you could feel his free hand snaking up your body to grab your chin. “You’re so adorable when you laugh, doll.” He reaches down and places a kiss on your lips, gentle and hesitant at first until he gradually increases his intensity and aggression. He’s kissing you like a man starved of affection, like you’re the meal for the last supper, savoring it as if it was the only good thing to ever happen to him again.

You’re shocked at first, but soon melt into the rhythmic pace of the kiss. Tongues meeting each other, swapping saliva as if you were trying to drink each other fully. Toji bites your lip, eliciting a sweet moan from you. He pushes his body against you, moving his thigh in between your legs. You’re unsure if he can feel the heat emanating between your legs, but you know it’s overwhelming intensity.

You can feel his cock pressed against your abdomen through both of your soaked layers. You move your hand on top of his bulge, pressing against it firmly. The rain lessens momentarily, and

you break contact from the kiss only to whisper “please” to him. That was all Toji needed to hear before practically dragging you back to his car.

Toji never forgot his manners, and despite the circumstances he still opened the door for you and laid out a blanket over the cold leather seats of the back of his sedan. However, there was a sense of urgency as he put everything together, finishing and gently pushing you into the back seat. Although the car was pretty spacious, the moment Toji climbed in after you, the absolute behemoth of a man made the car feel pretty cramped. Despite this, he tried to ensure your comfort.

“I know it’s not ideal, princess, but I can’t wait until we get home. And it seems like you can’t either.” His sultry voice teases you, as he starts pulling off some of your wet clothes. He leaves kisses in a trail down your neck, then your chest, and stopping above your waistband. “Do you want this, doll?” He questions as his hands start tugging at the band of your leggings. Your body should be cold with the wet clothes, but you only feel heat radiating in your core. You nod your head, meeting his hands and trying to hurry and take the rest of your clothes off.

Toji clicks his tongue. “Good girls use their words.” You feel a surge of what felt like electricity as the words ‘good girl’ left his mouth.

“Yes.. daddy.. please…” You try to hide your face in your elbow, anything to save you from the embarrassment.

“Good girl.” He whispers into your ear, thumbs hooking the waistband of your pants. “You sound so cute when you say that, doll.” He pulls off your leggings, leaving you with only the thin, but soaked, fabric of your panties.

He plants more kisses on your inner thigh before teasing you with a finger, panties still on. He rubs your wet slit, noting how soaked you are. Your little moans are music to his ears, as he continues rubbing your cunt through the thin fabric.

“Please, fuck, daddy… more…” You squirm under his touch, trying to press against him for more friction.

“Someone’s an eager little slut, isn’t she? You want daddy that bad, huh?” He taunts, pulling your panties to the side in a lewd attempt to expose your cunt. He spits on his fingers before slipping one inside – not that he would need any with how much you’re dripping for him.

His thick finger is about a knuckle deep and he can already notice how tight you are. “Fuck, baby. Are you a virgin?” You look up at him with wide eyes, nodding. He leans down to give you another kiss. “Perfect.”

He is gently fucking you with his finger, trying to loosen your tight hole a bit. He inserts another finger, feeling you stretch to accommodate him. “You’re doing great, sweetheart.” He purrs as he picks up speed, drilling into your cunt with ferocity. His other hand moves to your core, before his thumb flicks over your clit.

He rubs your button, watching as you make the sweetest faces and the cutest noises. He draws circles around it, causing your hips to buck forward as he continues to fingerfuck your hole. He’s watching you intently, studying everything about you and taking you in.

Any pain or discomfort you felt while he was stretching you quickly disappeared and was replaced by mind numbing pleasure, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. His skilled fingers played your body like an instrument, every movement perfect in its speed, angle, and intensity.

“Who’s my good little girl?” He asks you, expecting an answer while looking down at your already fucked out face.

“I am, daddy!” You answer back, not wasting any time. His fingers curl inside of you, pushing a moan out of you.

His hand on your clit pulls away to lift your chin. “You’re what? Answer me fully, slut.” He says as he spits in your mouth. “Swallow it like a good girl, then answer me properly.”

You do as you’re told. “I’m your good girl, daddy.” He smirks at this, before resuming his touch on your clit. His fingers inside of you hit your sweet spot, pushing you over the edge and causing you to tighten around him.

“Is my slutty little girl gonna cum for me? Yeah? It’s that good already?” His words do nothing but edge you on, forcing you to cum harder than you ever have.

You’re panting by the end of it, already dazed at how amazing it felt. But Toji is just getting started. He pulls down the waist band of his pants, with his briefs following right after. His cock springs free from its confinement. He groans as the cold air touches it.

Normally he’d need more foreplay, but playing with your body and the taboo of the situation were more than enough to make his cock leak precum, anxiously awaiting your cunt. “Daddy has been waiting for this… be a good girl and show him that you love him, doll.”

He wastes no time in pushing the head of his cock against your entrance, spitting on his cock before slipping inside. The tip alone is enough to stretch you beyond what you thought were your limits. Despite the size, he makes sure to take his time for you to get used to it. He can tell it hurts with the tears that are forming. He leans down to place a gentle kiss on you, caressing your cheek as he pushes his large cock ever so deeper inside.

“You’re taking it so well already, sweetheart. It’s like you’re made for me.” He groans as he feels you relax around him. He’s about halfway in now. “I know what you and Megs did….” Your eyes grow wide at his comment. “It’s okay, princess, I know you’re a little whore who can’t get enough. I’m just glad I get to be the first to fill you.” He grins as he forces the rest of his thick cock inside. “It’s almost like you were waiting for me, huh? My little girl, so patient for her daddy…” He coos.

The pain slowly subsides, albeit not completely. You’re too heated in the moment to care about the pain as he quickly picks up pace, pulling out and slamming back in. You whimper every time, only driving Toji wilder with how perfect you are for him.

He starts to ram into your tight cunt as he reaches over and places a hand around your neck. He grips it tightly, enough to put pressure but not completely block airflow. “Such a good fucking toy… take it like a good girl, yeah?” He purrs, bruising your womb with the tip of his cock. He releases his grip on your neck after a few moments, letting you catch your breath again.

Toji fucks you faster, groaning at the tightness of your walls. He pulls your legs up to his shoulders as he presses deeper into you, matching your out of breath state. He’s drilling into you, chasing his own end as he feels your walls tighten around him. “Gonna cum again, darling. Such a dirty girl.”

He reaches his hand to your chin again. “Open,” he commands as he spits into your mouth. “Good girl.” His dominance delivers you your second orgasm of the day, and Toji feels your body tense up as you do so. “Fuuuuck baby, it’s like your cunt is trying to milk my cock-“ He can barely finish his sentence as he feels his cum come gushing out. You feel your walls being painted white, getting filled up with his cum.

“Such a good girl,” he praises. “Are you on the pill?” You nod. He probably should have asked that first, but who cares, certainly not you in your fucked out state. He kisses you again before pulling out and and pushing your panties back in place. “Try not to spill any, doll. And just so you know, I don’t mind if my little girl wants to play with Megs. As long as you remember that you belong to Daddy at the end of the day, you can have as much fun as you’d like, doll.”

‹𝟹 notes: ch 5 soon! lmk what y'all think!! feedback is always appreciated <3

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‹𝟹 notifs: @vvxxccaa @arylaa @starshipxoxo

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(･ω･)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie

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gingiesworld · 7 months

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Family Is Forever

Chapter Six

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst

Taglist: @fxckmiup @ginnsbaker @gb12d @angrywhisperslove @louxbloom @casquinhaa @natashamaximoff-69 @wizardofstories @canvascoloredin @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @forthelesbians

18+ MINORS DNI

Tony was furious with Y/N, although Pepper was worried about them. So she approached their office to see Y/N on the phone, trying to fix what they had messed up.

"Y/N, we need to talk." Pepper told them as they looked at her sadly.

"I'm sorry about the meeting. I just." Y/N sighed. "I don't know what I am doing anymore." They whispered as they ran their hands through their hair. "I got this job here because I needed the job. Not because it was my dream but for my family."

"What was your dream?" Pepper asked them.

"Why are you being nice to me? You should be yelling. Telling me to clear out my stuff." They stated as Pepper just gave them a sad smile.

"I know you're going through a lot and even though Tony is more business driven than compassionate. I am the opposite." She told them. "Maybe take some time out and figure everything out. Also you need to look after yourself too because you have lost a lot of weight and you are exhausted."

"I have bills to pay." They told her. "Kids to provide for, I can't just take time off."

"What if we reduced the amount of work you have." She suggested. "Fewer meetings and reports, it gives you more time to see your therapist and heal."

"I don't need that." They told her. "I can't afford to take a drop in my salary."

"I never said you would lose any money." Pepper told them. "I just said that you will have a smaller work load, not less income. So as of Monday, you will be able to work from home. I will be sure to assign you the reports and meetings personally until I have a written report from Dr Raynor that you are ready to return fully."

"Thank you." They gave her a small smile, truly grateful for what she is doing for them.

"Go home and rest Y/N." She told them as they looked at her. "I have already spoke to Tony about all of this and he has no say. So go home and spend the weekend with your family."

"Ok." They nodded as she waited for them to gather their things. "I'll see you on Monday." With that they left the building, heading towards their and getting in the driver's seat. Their keys in their hand as they soon broke down.

Once they had calmed down, they made their way to the one place they knew would bring them comfort. But the sight they saw made their heart shatter. Wanda hugged a guy who they have never seen before, watching as he left before she noticed Y/N stood outside their car.

"Y/N." Wanda tried as she hurried towards them, trying to catch them before they got back in the car.

"I'm sorry to interrupt whatever that was but it doesn't matter now." They said as they started the car.

"It's not like that!" Wanda told them, hurrying around the front of the car and getting in the passenger seat.

"What are you doing?" They asked her, looking in her direction as she noticed how broken they looked.

"We are talking." She stated as they just laughed dryly.

"I don't want to hear about how you are moving on Wanda." With that they exited the car and started to walk away.

"Y/N!" Wanda followed them as they shrugged her off.

"It's ok Wanda." They looked at her, guilt in their eyes. "I never made you happy so you want to be with someone who will. Just know that I won't stand in the way of your happiness." With that they left her in the street, getting her phone out and inviting Nat over. Needing her best friend.

"Wanda." Nat groaned as Wanda told her everything that had happened. "You really are clueless."

"What?" She asked her, confusion etched onto her features.

"They came here for some form of comfort." She told her. "They lost their family when they were younger so you and your mutual friends were really all they had."

"I'm a dick." Wanda stated as Nat agreed. "But Simon is just a guy from the course. He was helping me understand something."

"Of course." Nat spoke sarcastically.

"It's true!" Wanda yelled. "I don't really want to be with anyone. I am still married and even after the divorce, I still don't think I will be able to move on."

"Which makes your decision completely pointless!" Nat told her.

"It is a joint decision." Wanda stated as Nat shook her head.

"It is your decision, Y/N is too in love with you to disagree." Nat told her. "So you need to talk with them. Maybe see a couple's therapist."

"I don't know." Wanda ran her hands over face.

"The two of you have been in love since college Wanda. Y/N Y/L/N is the one for you and you need to realise that this whole separation is stupid." Wanda was left thinking of Nat's words, all of them sinking deep as Y/N walked back to their apartment. Settling down on the sofa, looking at a blank screen of the TV. Their tie loose around their neck as their top button was undone.

A knock on the door made them sigh, looking towards the entrance as they slowly stood from the sofa and trudged towards the door. Sighing as they saw Wanda through the peep hole.

"What is it Wanda?" They asked as they let her inside.

"You wanted someone to talk to." Wanda stated. "And over the years it was always me who you confided in. Everything that bothered you, you came to me even if I never had a solution because you always told me that just getting it out of your mind helped."

"I'm fine." They stated as they headed towards their bedroom to get out of their suit, not expecting Wanda to follow them.

"Y/N, you aren't eating." She stated as she saw their now thin form. They were always lean but now they looked ill.

"Wanda! What are you doing in here!" They yelled as they scrambled to get a t shirt.

"I want to make sure you're ok and you clearly are not." Wanda stated as she gave them a saddened look. "I guess I never really thought about you during all of this. I am selfish."

"No you're not." They told her quickly. "You wanted more from our marriage and I never gave that to you. It's not selfish for wanting more intimacy or love. Or more of my time and I should have given it to you."

"No." Wanda whispered as she had tears in her eyes. "I just wanted you. I want you to be ok."

"I will be." They told her. "I just also have to get used to you seeing other people too I guess."

"I am not seeing Simon. He is a guy from the course and he had more of an understanding of the class the other day and he was just explaining it more for me. There is nothing more than that." Wanda told them as she left the room. "I don't think I will ever move on from you because no one will ever be good enough because you were it for me." Wanda just covered her mouth as Y/N stepped closer to her.

"Then what are we doing?" Y/N questioned as Wanda shook her head, raising her other hand.

"I can't." Wanda whispered. "I do love you. More than you will ever know but us." She gestured between the two. "It was hard, and I constantly wondered when we would have our time but you would barely touch me and I just." She sighed as she looked at them, tears escaping her eyes. "I had given up on the idea of the two of us being us again."

"You could have talked to me." They told her softly. "You could always talk to me because I will always be here for you. Maybe if you came to me we wouldn't be here." They sighed as they watched Wanda carefully. "I could have changed for you if I needed to. I could have been better. I could have done so much more if you had spoke to me."

"It's not all on you." She whispered as she watched them. "I was scared." She spoke shakily. "I was scared that you would think I'm being stupid and I didn't want to feel lesser than you."

"You aren't lesser than me. You never were." They reached out for her hand. "If anything, I was less than you for numerous reasons, especially of I made you feel like you couldn't come to me." Wanda let out a choked sob as Y/N wrapped their arms around her. "Maybe there is a chance for us, in some other time or universe." They kissed her head as she cried in their arms. The first time in weeks were they had felt whole again.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #natasha romanoff

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daisynik7 · 1 year

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Rush

Chapter 6: Playing Games

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: cunnilingus, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, cum stuffing kink, spitting, 69 position, asshole!Eren (at it again)

Summary: After skipping several parties to sneak around with Eren, you agree to spend Halloween with Mikasa and your sorority sisters. You’re convinced you won’t be seeing him at all tonight, but a series of events changes that.

Notes: Smut in the beginning of the chapter? How the turn tables. Also, what’s a college au story without a Halloween party? Song is “Playing Games” by Summer Walker.

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“Right there, Eren,” you moan into the pillow. “Right there, fuck.”

It’s a Saturday night. You’re bent over the edge of your bed, Eren fucking you relentlessly from behind. The sound of his skin clapping against yours with each rapid thrusts fills the room. His fingers twirl around your puffy clit, desperate to help you reach your third orgasm of the night. Your fists clench the sheets with an iron grip. Drool leaks out from the sides of your open mouth. You’re on your tippy toes, making sure he’s hitting it at the perfect angle. Fucked out beyond belief, head still reeling from your first two orgasms. And yet, you’re still needy for his cock.

“Fuck, baby. You look so good taking me like this,” he says to you, slowing his pace, making you feel every inch of him as he slides in and out of your tight pussy.

It’s been three weeks since you and Eren agreed to be secret fuck buddies. Three weeks of sneaking around, having passionate and nasty sex whenever and wherever possible. You’ve both missed three weekends worth of parties just to fuck each other silly, either in his room or yours. Each time you do it, it feels better and better. Tonight is no exception.

“Faster. Please,” you beg him, placing your hand over his to play with your clit together. His fingers are slippery with lube and your slick.

He chuckles, the vibrations from his laugh resounding through your skin as he leans down to kiss the back of your neck. “Greedy tonight, aren’t you? Okay, baby. Since you asked so nicely.” He grabs you on both sides of your hips and starts his rapid pace again. A few minutes of this in tandem with your fingers toying with your sensitive bud, you orgasm. He follows you soon after with his own, groaning out a drawn out, “Fuck,” as he releases himself into you.

You both crawl into bed, his load leaking out of your cunt. Laid out on your back, he starts collecting the cum dripping down your thighs to finger it into your pussy. “Keep my cum inside you. Turns me on knowing you’re filled with it.”

“Fuck, Eren,” you whine, as he continues, spreading some of it over your overstimulated clit. “So fucking nasty.”

He kisses you, grinning. “I know. So fucking nasty huh?” He glances at the sopping mess between your legs. “Damn, I want to keep fucking you,” he breathes out, stroking himself, still soft but determined to get erect again.

“Can you get hard again so soon?”

“If I can, will you let me fuck that pretty pussy of yours? Think you can take me again?”

“Is that a challenge?” you tease him, reaching down to rub your clit. You’re surprised at yourself at how horny you still are after three fucking orgasms. But being in this messed up relationship with Eren has taught you a lot about yourself.

You knew what you signed up for when you agreed to this. He made it clear: He wants nothing to do with you outside the bedroom while he gets everything with you inside it. It’s been an unfair arrangement from the start, but you still accepted it.

There’s a constant internal struggle playing out in your head every time you meet with him. You keep telling yourself that maybe, just maybe, this should be the last. Then he pulls you in deeper and deeper. Has you thinking that maybe it’s not so bad. He’s fulfilling your sexual needs just like you are doing for him. What’s the harm?

You have feelings for him. That’s the harm.

There’s no denying it anymore. You like him. In between the intense fucking, there are moments of compassion, of kindness. Like how he calls you sweetie as he brushes the hair away from your face to gaze into your eyes. Or after sex, when he grabs a towel and baby wipes to clean you up, treating you like his fragile, delicate treasure. The way he cuddles you in his arms as he kisses the back of your neck, giving you a type of warmth throughout your body that you’re convinced only he can provide.

You’re probably grasping at straws. This is your first “relationship” and you’re making any excuse to justify the most fucked up parts about it. Instead of telling yourself that you deserve better. Something normal.

But goddammit, does he make you feel good. There’s no way anyone else can make you come the way he does.

“Spread yourself for me. Let me do it,” he offers, kissing you on the lips as he slides his hand down to your arousal.

You expose your clit, spreading your folds out with your middle and index fingers as he plays with it, digits still wet from earlier. Everything is hazy as you lose yourself in the pleasure once more. He could ask anything from you right now and you would say yes. And he knows it.

He whispers your name. “Fuck, I’m hard again seeing you like this. Get on top of me. Want to see you drip all over my cock.”

Obeying, you straddle him, his cum flowing out of you in the most salacious manner as you sink down onto him. It’s tight, really tight. But you still take him all the way in. He watches you with his hands behind his head as you start to ride him slowly. It feels fucking amazing. You suck him in like you were made for his cock.

“Fuck, baby. You’ve gotten so good at this,” he purrs, sliding his hands to your waist.

You lean close to him and paw at his chest, whimpering into his neck as he guides your hips back and forth onto him. He starts thrusting into you vigorously.

Suddenly, it’s uncomfortable. There’s cramping in your abdomen and it starts to become painful having him inside you. You stop moving, body tensing up as you let out a quiet, “Ow.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Baby. Are you okay?” Immediately, he stops moving and strokes your back, concern in his voice. This is new. You’ve never heard him this worried about you before.

“It’s too much. Feels uncomfortable,” you breathe out.

“Okay, okay, I’m pulling out.” He lifts you up carefully and helps you roll beside him. As soon as he is out of you, your body relaxes. The pain subsides for the most part except for a dull ache below your belly.

He gets up to grab a water from your mini fridge and a Gatorade from his gym bag. “Here. Drink this.”

You sit up slowly, clutching at your abdomen as he holds the open bottle towards you. Taking a sip, you notice the flavor is your favorite. Did he buy this for you specifically? It was mentioned the other day when he restocked his own fridge. You casually asked him what his favorite flavor is, to which he responded fruit punch. Then, he asked yours. And now, he has it. Is it coincidence? Wishful thinking? Might be both.

“Water.” He opens the other bottle and waits for you to make the switch. With the Gatorade in his hand now, he takes a swig. Sharing drinks. It feels intimate. You feel close to him.

Feeling hydrated enough, you start apologizing. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why it started hurting all of a sudden.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s my fault for wanting to keep going. We just need to rest.” He reaches to his other side to check his phone. “It’s midnight. Is Mikasa coming back tonight?”

“No, she’s staying at Jean’s.”

He gives you a warm smile. “Good. We can sleep together.”

It’s times like these that makes you feel like there’s a breakthrough. Why would he say things like this or smile in this way if he didn’t have feelings for you? Is he like this with all the girls he sleeps with? Or are you special?

“We should get ready for bed,” he suggests.

“Wait.” You reach for his cock, which is still semi-hard, and start stroking him.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, you don’t have to do this. Let’s just sleep,” he says, trying to discourage you.

“No, I want to. I want to make you feel good.” You kiss him, lips smacking loudly as you feel him stiffen at your touch. Something sweeps over you. You want to reward him for being so kind to you, so concerned about your wellbeing. It’s your weakness; every little nice thing he does for you makes you temporarily forget all the bad.

You position yourself between his legs and move your hand down to the base of his dick. Before he protests, you surround his tip with your mouth, swirling your tongue around him.

“Fuck,” he moans. His hand combs through your hair. “Are you sure this is okay?”

You nod as you drag your mouth up and down his shaft, going deeper each time.

“Baby. Get on top me. C’mon.” He taps at your ass, beckoning you. You’ve never tried this position before. You’re self-conscious sitting on him like this, but he wants it. And how can you deny him?

You mount him, feeling him inhale deeply and exhale through his mouth, blowing air straight onto your cunt. “I am going to fucking devour this pussy right now. You have no idea how amazing you look from here.”

The praise overwhelms you as you continue to blow him, moaning around his cock as soon as he starts licking your clit. He spits onto it, spreading his saliva around to make it wetter. “I love eating this pussy out. I fucking love it.” He flicks his tongue faster, his hums reverberating into your skin.

You reach down to massage his balls, still taking him into your mouth. “Just like that. Feels so good baby,” he moans, spitting onto your cunt again. “Make me come baby. Make me come.”

With your hand on his shaft, you stroke him fast as you suck on the tip of his dick, sliding your tongue over his slit.

He cries out, “Fuck!” and you feel warm cum shoot into the back of your throat, coating the inside of your cheeks and covering your tongue. Some of it spills out of your messy mouth as you swallow it.

When he’s done, he murmurs, “Come here. Sit on my face. Don’t be shy. Do it.”

In a daze, you turn around towards the headboard and carefully straddle his face, your knees digging into the pillow he’s lying on. Holding onto the frame for leverage, you grind against him like an animal in heat, feeling another orgasm resonate from your core. His hands squeeze at the soft plush of your bottom, guiding you as you rock your hips back and forth onto his tongue.

“Just like that baby. Come all over my face,” he mumbles, kissing and sucking your clit, wet noises so lewd, your skin feels on fire from your arousal. It doesn’t take long for you to come all over him and when you do, you hear him chuckle as he laps all of you up.

You hop off him, his mouth glossy with your slick, a cocky smirk on his lips. “Fuck, that was hot,” he says, wiping his chin with his fingers. Like the menace he is, he sticks them into his mouth and slurps your cum off. “Come here. Taste yourself.”

He holds the back of your head and pulls you in, kissing you passionately. You lay down together, lips brushing together seamlessly as he rolls on top of you, pinning you to the bed. He pulls away to stare down at you, eyes filled with an intensity that makes you nervous for some reason. You see him swallow hard, almost like he wants to say something. He doesn’t. Instead, he slides down towards your pussy again and starts to kiss you there.

“Eren,” you whisper. He can’t possibly want to eat you out again.

“It’s okay. Let me do this for you.” His flattens his tongue onto your clit, slowly moving his head side to side.

“You don’t have to do this,” you urge him, all while moaning from his sensual touch.

“No, you don’t understand. I’m fucking addicted to this. I don’t want to stop.” He sucks on your bud, causing you to whimper from the ecstasy. It still feels incredible, despite how spent you are.

“Baby, I’m so tired. I don’t think I can come anymore,” you plead with him, utterly exhausted. As much as you’d love to have him pleasure you all night, it’s too much.

He peers up at you for a few seconds before he relents. “Okay, okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

With one last gentle kiss, he slides back up to the bed beside you. “Let’s get ready for bed. For real this time.” He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

After you both put some clothes on, Eren walks downstairs to use the men’s restroom while you go down the hall to use the women’s. You take a quick body shower, cleaning yourself from all the lube, cum, and spit you’ve been smothered with tonight. The hot water from the shower soothes your sore muscles from the different positions you’ve tried in the past hour. The dull ache from your cramping has gone away. Once you dry off and brush your teeth, you head back to your room to find him already under the covers, snuggling one of your pillows.

You turn off the lights and crawl into bed with him, where he immediately wraps you in his arms and kisses you on the forehead. “How are your cramps?”

“Better. I think I just needed a break from your dick,” you joke with him.

“I’m sorry. I guess we went a little overboard tonight.” He nuzzles his nose against the top of your head. It feels more intimate than any of the sex you’ve had the past couple of weeks.

“Do you want to get breakfast tomorrow morning?” You think there’s a chance. A glimmer of hope that this is something more. How can he hold you in his arms like this if he doesn’t feel anything?

He hesitates a bit. Bad sign already. “Uh, like get it delivered?”

“No, I mean at the dining hall.” You hold your breath, waiting for his response.

“Sweetie, you know we can’t do that.” Sweetie. This is when the pet names are not cute. It feels patronizing. Condescending. You don’t like it.

“It’s just breakfast. We can even take it to-go.”

“Baby, no.” His voice is firmer this time. A slight hint of annoyance.

“We can go really early when it isn’t crowded –”

“We’ll get something delivered,” he finalizes, sliding his arms away from you and turning over to his other side, back towards you. Nothing else is said between you two. Not even a goodnight.

You stare at him, feeling like shit. Why did you think anything changed between you two? Why did you think that he changed? He’s still the same. One minute, he’s sweet and caring, the next he’s back to his cold, distant self. It’s hopeless.

You go back to feeling disappointed again as you drift off to sleep, feeling alone despite being right there beside him.

~~~

It’s 2 AM and Eren is still wide awake, watching her chest rise and fall slowly as she sleeps. Occasionally she shifts around, to which he quickly shuts his eyes. When she’s still once more, he continues to observe her.

For the past three weeks, the two of them have been fucking like crazy. He’s not sure how they’ve managed to get away with it so far. It hasn’t been too hard sneaking around yet, but it feels like the calm before the storm. It’s bound to come crashing down sooner or later. He’s declined too many texts from Reiner, and he feels like he’ll be confronted about it soon. And whenever that happens, Eren will deal with it however he can. For now, he’s satisfied with their current arrangement. He’s happy.

Armin has been so busy with all his extracurriculars that he barely spends time in the room anymore, which has been good for them. And with Mikasa dating Jean, which he still hasn’t gotten accustomed to yet, they’ve been able to fool around in her room with the added bonus of sleeping together. Which Eren really likes, surprisingly.

There’s a lot of things he likes about their relationship, aside from the amazing sex. He won’t admit it out loud, but he likes cuddling up next to her, especially when she hugs him from behind. There’s a softness to her body that he can’t quite explain, though he knows only she can provide. He likes how clever she can be, always coming up with a witty comeback for any of his stupid comments. And that she’s not afraid to say what she wants. For the most part.

Tonight, she asked to get breakfast together. He knows what she really wants. He can’t give that to her.

He’s a coward.

Instead of discussing it further, he faced away from her and pretended to fall asleep. He listened and waited for her soft snores before he turned back around to look at her.

He can’t give her what she wants. He won’t give her what she wants. She wants a relationship. A proper one. She wants a boyfriend who will eat breakfast with her in the morning and make love to her at night. Eren doesn’t want to be tied down. Not while he’s young, hot, and in a frat. What would be the point of all of this? Maybe if he were older and more mature, it would be different. But he’s not.

He’s an asshole.

For someone who claims not to be influenced on how to think or feel, he’s letting a lot of insignificant factors do that for him right now. Why does he care so much if people think he’s dating a Sigma Nu Kappa? These are trivial things that don’t matter at the end of the day. As long as he’s happy. Right?

But he can’t shake the fear of big brother Reiner finding out and ridiculing him for it. He doesn’t even like him all that much. He does care about his reputation, to an extent. Eren can get with any girl he wants; why settle for the girl he thought wasn’t even interesting just a few months ago?

To be fair, he’s very interested in her now. Still, he’s sure there are girls on campus that are hotter than her. Well, he’s actually not convinced about that. Because she is incredibly sexy. He can’t remember ever being so turned by anyone. When they’re together, she makes him go completely insane.

He’s all over the place.

He wants to keep her around, but he doesn’t want to be her boyfriend. He’s not ready for commitment but wants all the benefits that come from it. How does that work? In Eren’s simple, selfish mind, it makes total sense. Deep down, he knows it’s all wrong.

Until the time comes that he has to deal with the fallout of his reckless decisions, he will pretend not to notice the disappointment in her voice every time he denies her of the simplest requests, like eating a meal together. Or how crestfallen her expression gets, no matter how much more difficult it is now to ignore it. It’s easier this way.

He really is an asshole.

~~~

Halloween weekend approaches and it seems like every student on campus is ready to party. The holiday falls on a Friday this year and several students go to their classes in their more appropriate costumes. Mikasa, who loves Halloween, wears her devil horns all day.

A few days ago, your roommate finally convinced you to go out with her this weekend after bailing on her for the past month. Her boyfriend, Jean, is out of town for a soccer tournament, so her next best pick for a partner is you.

“I have an idea for what our couple’s costume will be,” she told you. “Angel and devil. You’ll be the angel; I’ll be the devil. It’ll be perfect. What do you think?”

Ultimately, you agreed to go along with her plan, feeling confident enough to pull it off. The other day, you found all the components you needed to create the perfect angel. From one of the boutiques in the mall, you picked out a long sleeves satin dress that comes down above your knees. At the costume store, you found a halo and wings. And, per Mikasa’s suggestion, you bought white lacey panties from a lingerie store to match the rest of your outfit, even though it will be concealed all night.

With your wardrobe all planned out, you finish the rest of your classes, excited for tonight’s festivities. It’s been a while since you were last at a party. You miss seeing your friends, spending time with people who care about you. People who like you. The verdict is still out if Eren Jaeger actually likes you or not. Especially with what happened the other night. The guy doesn’t even want to get breakfast with you. Doesn’t even want to be seen with you. Taking a break from Eren and all the sex seems like the right thing to do to preserve your sanity.

The other reason you’re even more eager to go out this weekend is because Eren himself told you that he’d be busy on Halloween. The night before Mikasa suggested the couple’s costume, he sent you a short text mentioning how Reiner invited him to a Halloween party and that he’s going to go. No invite extended, no wondering if you have plans yourself. So, there’s that. Since Eren is going out this weekend, you should too. You refuse to sulk around alone when you could be having a grand old time with your sisters.

After eating a quick dinner at the dining hall, you and Mikasa head back to the room to get ready. Her devil costume is perfection. She’s adorned in the similar style dress you have, but in a brilliant red, with pointy horns on top of her head and a fake, spiky pitchfork in her hands. Once the both of you are ready, you head over to the Sigma Nu Kappa house to pre-game with the seniors and some of your pledge sisters.

You all gather in Petra’s room, where she passes around bottles of Smirnoff Ice for everyone to chug. Tonight, she’s a forest fairy along with Nanabe, who basically looks like Tinkerbell. Hange, who’s a mad scientist, adds flair to the pre-game by concocting jello shots inside syringes, presented in a large vat smoking with dry ice.

When you’re finished taking several cute pictures with Ymir and Christa, who are coincidentally also a devil and an angel, you all head out to start walking to Mike’s house. Sasha comes out as soon as you pass by her dorm building, donning a Mr. Potato Head costume, which is all too fitting for her. As you stride through campus, arms linked together with Mikasa and the other angel, Christa, you realize how much you missed this. Having this much fun with your sisters almost makes you forget about Eren. Almost.

As you approach the house, you hear the distinct sound of bass bumping and loud chatter from inside. A familiar rush flows through your body as the alcohol starts taking its effect. Hange thumps on door, announcing your arrival.

Mike, appearing as a Spartan warrior, greets you. Your jaw drops at his figure. To say he is an attractive man is an understatement. Clad in a dark red cape that drapes over his shoulder and a matching kilt, his sculpted abs are on full display. Which you have absolutely no complaints about.

You let the other girls file in ahead of you. Once you’re within earshot, you joke, “Tell me those abs are airbrushed,” as you ogle at his physique.

He chuckles. “Nope. This is all me. Like what you see?”

“Yeah. You’re hot.”

He smirks, eyeing you up and down. “You look like the perfect little angel yourself.”

You squeeze your legs together, aroused by the charisma he naturally exudes. However, Eren is still in the back of your mind. You can’t help feeling guilty. And for what? You’re not together. He’s not your boyfriend.

Linking arms with Mikasa, you announce, “We’re going to help ourselves to your famous jungle juice. See you later?” You don’t wait for a response, leaving him to watch you as you make your way into the kitchen. Your roommate nudges you, asking in an amused voice, “What the hell was that? You were totally flirting with him!”

“I was just giving him a compliment. It’s nothing,” you wave off with a flick of your wrist.

“I love it. Keep flirting with him. Maybe Mike can be your first kiss!”

A pang of guilt hits you. She has no idea the obscene activities you’ve already partaken in with her childhood friend. Trying to erase your shame, you fill a cup with jungle juice and start drinking.

“I’m gonna try to find Armin, I’ll be back,” she mentions, leaving you to search for him.

Mike reappears, sidling up next to you. “So where’s your boyfriend? You never bring him around to the parties.”

Boyfriend. That’s right. He thinks you have a boyfriend. When you said that to him the first time, it was a straight up lie. You didn’t have anyone. Eren at that time was just some guy who gave you your first kiss and first sexual experience. It was barely anything. Now, the lines are blurred. Eren isn’t your boyfriend. He might not even be your friend. He is something though, right?

Still, he decided to go to a party with Reiner instead of with you. For all you know, he could be flirting with another girl at this very moment. He makes it clear time and time again that the two of you aren’t exclusive. Will a little innocent flirting with the very hot Mike Zacharias be such a big deal?

“We broke up,” you tell him.

He grins. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You don’t look sorry,” you tease him, taking a sip of your drink.

He leans on the counter as he says, “Well, I can’t help it. This is the best news I’ve heard all night.”

You feel nervous. Like you just opened up the floodgates. You pull back a bit, lying, “It’s still fresh, so I’m not really looking for anything serious.”

“Neither am I. I just like having fun.” He turns his head in the direction of the living room, where you see people dancing. “Do you like to dance?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“C’mon. Let’s have some fun.” He holds out his hand to you, which you take, then leads you to the dancefloor. The music is loud, the thumping of the bass reverberating through your chest. The two of you dance, facing each other at first. He has that charming smile on his face as he boogies towards you, sliding his hands at your waist.

Feeling bold, you turn around and start swinging your hips against him, letting his hands roam your sides, pulling you in even closer so you’re pressed to his chest. He moves fluidly with the music, shifting side to side with you.

The tickle of his breath brushes your ear as he whispers, “You want to head upstairs, beautiful? Have some fun in my room?”

You crane your neck to face him, lips so close that if you moved just an inch, you’d be kissing.

Before anything else can happen, you hear someone start yelling, “Cops are here! Cops are here. Disperse! Disperse!”

Everyone moves quickly, heading towards the backyard, avoiding the front at all costs. Mike mutters, “Shit, already? I have to go deal with this.” Before he leaves, he holds you by the wrist and says, “I’ll find you later, okay?”

Mikasa runs up and grabs you, tugging you towards the back. “Let’s go! We gotta get out of here!”

“What?!” You’re in a daze from what almost happened with Mike, frozen momentarily in place.

“We can’t be caught here! We’ll get arrested!” she explains as you both sprint towards the backyard. The ridiculousness of her statement mixed with the alcohol you’ve consumed fuel your adrenaline as both of you run out to the yard looking for your escape. There’s a part of the fence where trash bins are lined up. Using her athletic prowess, Mikasa climbs on top of the bin and vaults over the fence, like a fucking Olympian, pitchfork and all.

You, clearly lacking the skills she has, clumsily mount the trash can and swing one leg at time over the fence, the wooden posts digging into your ass cheeks in the most uncomfortable way. As you try to slide off, you feel the bottom of your dress snag onto the wood. In a rush, you yank it off, tearing it so that there’s a slit down the side, exposing your undergarments. Your roommate has a mixed expression of amusement and concern as she yells out, “Hurry!”

Finally back on solid ground, you sprint in any direction away from Mike’s house, imagining it being raided by the cops right now. In your haste, you run into Hitch and Annie, who are walking casually down the street. Annie is Catwoman while Hitch is dressed as a hippie. The two of you walk towards them, catching your breaths.

“Were you two just at Mike’s?” you question.

“Yeah, we were only in there for 5 minutes before the fuzz showed up. What the hell happened to you?” Annie asks, pointing at the tear in your clothes.

“It got torn when we hopped the fence,” you explain, holding the rip, attempting to hide it.

“Hop the fence? The side door was unlocked, you could have just walk out. That’s what we just did.”

You whip your head around to Mikasa, who starts cracking up. “Mikasa! Why did you make us hop the fence?!”

“I didn’t know the side door was unlocked! There were so many people! I didn’t want to get arrested.”

Hitch chimes in, “It honestly doesn’t look bad. It’s Halloween, so you’re supposed to look a little slutty.”

“You can see my underwear,” you respond, embarrassed.

“Hey, at least you’re wearing underwear. This cat suit is literally skin-tight.”

“Better not let Bertolt know that Annie,” Hitch teases with a wink. “He might bust a nut.”

Annie shoves her roommate, muttering, “Shut up.”

“Where are we going, by the way?”

“Sandra is hosting a party at her house,” Hitch answers. “There will be a bunch of Eta Iota’s there and some frat guys, but she’s totally cool with y’all coming over.”

A few minutes later, the four of you arrive to Sandra’s, where it’s already packed. The Eta Iota sisters you’re acquainted with greet you politely while the men, all of them being from the other fraternities, study you and Mikasa curiously. Annie and Hitch protectively lead you through the crowd, glaring at the boys who ogle at you. Once you’re in the kitchen, you help yourself to a cup of jungle juice.

“You’ve been here before, Annie?”

“Yeah, Hitch dragged me here a few times. The girls are fun and nice. The guys are typical frat boys. Loud, obnoxious, always trying to get laid.”

Mikasa stands beside you, sipping on her alcohol. “I gave Armin the address. He should be here soon with some of the other guys. Cops are cleared out now, but they can’t keep partying there.”

“Do you know if Mike is coming too?”

She raises an eyebrow at you, smirking. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.”

Staring up at the ceiling, you replay the words he whispered in your ear just several minutes ago.

You want to head upstairs, beautiful? Have some fun in my room?

He is enticing and sexy. Not at all afraid to make his move and be seen with you. He’s mature and knows what he wants. It’s a breath of fresh air from the suffocating whirlwind that is Eren Jaeger.

You hear Mikasa say, “Well, look who it is.”

Snapping out of your reverie, you set your gaze forward to see who she’s referring to. And as if on cue, you watch with bated breath as Eren steps through the crowd towards you.

~~~

Eren didn’t want to go out for Halloween. His original plan for the weekend was the same as the last three. He wants to spend it with her.

As he predicted, Reiner finally confronted him about his lack of presence at these parties. After their chapter meeting Sunday night, his big bro pulled him aside to lecture him, much to Eren’s dismay.

“Dude, where the fuck have you been? You can’t skip out on Halloween weekend. You just can’t. I won’t let you. There will be hot chicks in slutty costumes. You can’t miss it. You just can’t.”

That’s how Eren ended up with Reiner and Bertolt this Halloween night at another Eta Iota party. Reiner is a pirate while Bertolt is covered in a skeleton suit with matching face paint done by one of the sisters. Eren is bare chested, wearing red swimming trunks and a whistle around his neck, dressed as a lifeguard. Several girls eye him as he walks through the crowded house.

Reiner and Bertolt partner up for a game of beer pong with their friends Porco and Marcel from the Mu Epsilon fraternity, who also happen to be biological brothers. Eren leans against the wall savoring his drink, watching from afar while getting lost in his thoughts.

He wonders where she is tonight, what she’s wearing, who she’s with. She never replied to his text informing her about his Halloween plans, only reacting with a thumbs up. He was at least hoping for a response like, “Have fun”, or maybe even “I’ll miss you.” But why should he expect that given the way he’s treated her so far?

Like Reiner said, there is no shortage of hot chicks in slutty attire tonight. He just can’t bring himself to do anything about it. Several women have already come up to him, inviting him to team up for the next round of the game. And as politely as he could, he declines each one. He’s secretly hoping he’ll see her walk into the house, in whatever cute or sexy costume she chose to wear tonight. Even if that does happen, what does he want to do about it? Eren always makes it a point to keep their relationship on the down low, so much that he doesn’t want anyone to see them together. And with Reiner just a few feet away, he has no choice but to ignore her and pretend she doesn’t exist to save himself from whatever ridicule the asshole will surely berate him with.

Maybe it’s better she isn’t here. He doesn’t know how well he can control himself if he sees her. He thinks about the night they first had sex. His body reacted way before his mind could even process what was happening.

The universe is either punishing him or rewarding him when he sees her walk into the kitchen, being led by Mikasa, Hitch, and Annie. Of course she’s an angel, how fucking perfect. It’s as if the pearly gates of heaven itself open and shine a spotlight on her. She looks celestial. Unreal. So incredibly sexy. There’s a slit on the side of her dress that reveals a lacey material with every swing of her hips. Holy fuck, he thinks.

He watches her fill up her cup with liquor as she stands by the counter, chatting with Mikasa. Feeling drawn to her, his feet move through the crowd. Fuck, she’s beautiful. He gets a head rush the closer he gets to her, not exactly sure what his game plan is.

He hears Mikasa say, “Well, look who it is.”

“Hey Mikasa.” He tries his best to focus his attention on his childhood friend, but he keeps sneaking glances at the angel in front of him. He wants more than anything to take her back to his dorm room and pleasure her in this costume. Hear her moan his name as he rails her into his mattress.

“You remember my roommate,” she says, pointing her thumb at her as she states her name.

“Uh, yeah. I guess. Hey.” He takes his time looking at her, trying to communicate something in those angelic eyes. She doesn’t respond, only gives him a small smile that makes his chest swell up.

He clears his throat, trying to shake whatever impulses are surging through his body. “So, where’s Jean?”

“Soccer tournament. That’s why me and her are a couple tonight,” Mikasa explains, wrapping an arm around her roommate’s shoulder.

“The devil horns suit you, Mikasa,” he teases. And the angel costume is perfect on you, baby, he thinks.

She kicks at his ankle playfully. “I take that as a compliment, thank you very much.”

From the front door, he hears a loud outburst of male voices. Armin, Connie, Erwin, and Mike walk into the kitchen, greeting several Eta Iotas and a few of the other men on the way in.

“You’re here!” Mikasa yells, rushing over to Armin to give him a hug.

“Yeah, we made it! Connie and I hid in the garage while the cops came. Mike and Erwin smooth talked their way out of trouble. It was awesome.”

“Not our first rodeo, young Armin. You’ll learn in due time,” Erwin says, ruffling his hair.

Mike slides next to the angel, nudging her. Eren hears him mutter, “Told you I’d find you, didn’t I?”

What the fuck? Who does this guy think he is?

His scowl must be obvious. Mike turns to him to ask, “Oh hey, Eren. What’s up, man? You good?”

Through a clenched jaw, he responds, “Yeah.”

Mike puts his arm around her, whispers something in her ear that make her giggle. What the actual fuck? What the hell is going on? Eren maintains his cool disposition, but inside, he is fuming. He can’t stand seeing another guy touch her, utter sweet nothings or whatever the fuck into her ear. And she’s responding to it with that cute laugh of hers.

Not knowing what else to do, he turns around to walk back to where Reiner and Bertolt are, who have since finished their game of beer pong. They lean against the wall, observing their Alpha Tau brothers from afar. As Eren joins them, Reiner yells out, “What are they doing here?”

He shrugs, truly not knowing anything. His mind is still spinning over seeing Mike touch all over his girl like that.

His girl. He knows that’s not right. She doesn’t belong to anyone. Least of all to Eren, who constantly keeps her at a distance.

So why is he feeling this way?

In this moment of madness, he decides to do something stupid. He approaches one of the girls who tried to talk to him earlier. “Hey. What’s your name again?”

“Pieck,” she says, smiling.

“Let’s play the next round,” he suggests, trying to sound as charming as possible. He needs to distract himself. Focus his attention on anyone other than her. Or else he might lose it.

As they stand to the side, waiting for their turn, Eren feels heat rush to his ears as soon as he hears a familiar voice ask out loud, “Has anyone called dibs for the next round? This angel and I would like to play next.”

Well, shit.

----------

Tag List: @roronoazorosbxtchh @f4irycafe @hello-juuliana @sideofthemoonn @imaddicted-b @belovedackerman @alicebleu @bunnyxgirlxo @butterfly-skinnylegend @bettydes8 @invisible-mori @yesv01 @letig0 @av-sos @stevelacyismyhusband @redhalia111 @rheeves @arminsgfloll @ayaahaddadd

@thelovewitch0v0 @hippiecultz @silver-foxling-blog @katsukiwhore @littlelaur27

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imviotrash · 1 month

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🌹Edgar Redmond and the usage of names🌹

Something interesting I noticed about Edgar Redmond is how he uses first and last names. With people he's really close to he uses the first name, despite it being against the schools rules. This is especially apparent when we view how he addresses Lawrence compared to the other perfects.

Lawrence is the only prefect he refers to by his first name (since they are childhood friends) and is also the one to call out how this is against the schools rules in chapter 69 (nice). Other instances of Edgar addressing Lawrence by his first name can be found in chapter 72,76,81 etc.

The first ever instance we see of this first name usage is with Maurice, when Edgar compliments Maurice's tea in chapter 69 (nice). Edgar only refers to him with his first name....until chapter 71. This was the part, where Maurice's nature has been uncovered. Here he addresses Cole by his last name, symbolising the end of their close bond.

The same applies to Derrick. He's usually referred to by his full name when he is the topic of conversation, but in the flashbacks (chapter 83) Edgar only addresses him by his first name.

With Joanne it's different. Edgar never refers to him with his first name but always his last name. Chapter 76 is a good example of that.

So what do we conclude of that?

The usage of first names shows Edgar's learning curve regarding his assistants. Edgar used their first names to show how close he is to them. Doing this in such a strong power imbalance (prefect and fag/drudge) lead to extreme trust and eventual betrayal, twice. This is why the usage of Lawrence's name still prevails, because they're on the same level of authority and have known eachother for the longest. His interaction with Joanne shows Edgars progress. Here we have a healthy boundary between employee and boss. Edgar needed to stop seeing his fags/drudges as friends in order to establish a healthy boundary, showing how extreme the hierarchy within the school is and how easily Edgar trusts people.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji season 4 #vio speaks #joanne harcourt #maurice cole #edgar redmond #lawrence bluewer

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fullscoreshenanigans · 2 months

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No other option for this poll since it's based on the options that won a top 2 spot in the previous rounds.

Grace Field Kids Edition Goldy Pond Edition Lambda 7214/Paradise Hideout Edition Free-For-All Edition Other Platonic Duo Polls Suggestions Post

Copypasta'd propaganda from my other posts under the cut:

Grace Field Poll: I was glad to see how well Don & Emma and Gilda & Ray were doing on the Grace Field poll. ;w; Both feel the most criminal to me given how big of a role Don and Gilda play in the series, but ultimately I went with Gilda & Ray because I couldn't think of any moment for them that was equivalent to Don being the first of the larger group of kids to voice his support for Emma's plan:

(Chapter 130)

Except for maybe this brief exchange they added to the anime:

(S1 Episode 12)

Episode 10 also nixes the scene of Don and Gilda privately conversing in the woods in chapter 31 and instead has Ray apologizing to Don and Gilda directly rather than just Emma, which is made even more poignant when you consider how strongly he reacted to Emma and Norman giving them false hope about still being able to save Conny in chapter 11/episode 4.

He's not even trying to feign the distance he self-imposed between them in his mind at this point. He's genuinely sorry for failing them for their own sakes, not as extra able bodies who could assist Emma and Norman outside the wall. And it's a genuinely distressing sight for the two of them, seeing him at his lowest point after everything he sacrificed for this plan.

To have her then knowingly hum and hold that look of fondness for him when she sees how shocked is, after years of believing a better outcome was impossible, and how worried he is, because try as he might to keep the other children at arm's length mentally there's a way Ray frets over and looks after them that is reminiscent of Gilda's own (they are united in being the Mom Friends™ of the escapees 🤝), is such a sweet, gentle kindness that they didn't have to include but I'm very glad they did.

Goldy Pond Poll: Emma & Oliver has always felt like one of the most pertinent dynamics to come out of Goldy Pond alongside Emma & Violet with the amount of focus each are given individually as effectively the leaders of the Grace Field escapees and Goldy Pond kids, respectively, and together. The latter is significantly less, unfortunately, but Oliver usually acts as Emma's point person when she needs to confer information/plans and Norman and Ray won't work for the situation because symbolically the scene calls for a representation of larger group cohesion with the kids she didn't grow up with.

Also, after losing so many older siblings at Grace Field and becoming the big sister/leader of them, it's nice to have her regain that kind of relationship with any of the Goldy Pond group; Oliver just happens to have more panels dedicated to it lol

(Chapter 69)

(Chapter 110 & 111)

(Chapter 122; this moment is so minuscule, but again we have Oliver acting in a leader role and Emma using him as a point of reference to confirm that taking it easy in this new place is wise and safe for everyone. If even Oliver thinks it's okay to act like this—to say nothing of the way he tells her so gently and in so few words—then she can rest a little more soundly.)

(Chapter 161)

(Chapter 179; he's not the only one given focus here, but I like that he's the one this bit ends on to drive the point home to Norman and Ray about Emma.)

And then this piece by @nagaikei-ajin is my favorite of the two of them for the intensity and parallels.

i want to believe emma and oliver are carrying on yugo and lucas’ will and even got a pair of gloves for remembrance...

Free-For-All Poll: I'm glad other people are also fucked up by this panel of Ayshe & Mujika:

(Chapter 144)

The way she's staring at Mujika in rapt attention, left hand grabbing for hers while she holds her right in front of her chest to show how animated she is in the conversation, either because she's gesturing to herself or is at a loss for words in the the excitement of the moment or because the adrenaline from the skirmish with Hayato and Jin is wearing off and trying to will the words to spill forth.

It's been months since she's been able to hold a conversation with anyone in the language her father passed down to her because he believed it was something worth preserving of his culture from a millennia ago, so to be able to have that back with someone as kind and graciously loving as Mujika is something special.

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gerrystamour · 9 months

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nice. [drabble]

Explicit | Steddie | 69 Words | Complete (kinda)

So I realized that i was hitting an important milestone on Number Of Fics I Have Published Ever On Ao3 so I decided to challenge myself. Have this. I think I'm going to rewrite this scene, but in 69 sentences for the second chapter.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

Gasping, Steve opens his throat, greedily accepting Eddie’s cock as he fucked his mouth shallowly. Between his thighs, Eddie was just as greedy, sloppily licking into Steve’s cunt and working his dick between lips and teeth. Reaching up, Steve taps his fingers on Eddie’s hip, twice.

Groaning, Eddie sinks deeper, pressing until Steve’s throat clicks around it. The sound breaks Eddie, and soon he’s fucking Steve’s mouth desperately, perfectly…

[ READ ON AO3 ]

Not doing the full taglist for this one except maybe @patchworkgargoyle @scarcrossdlvrs @starryeyedjanai (bc they suggested this challenge) also @steddieas-shegoes (i just think mickala's reaction will be rly fucking funny and i love her reactions)

#steddie #steddie fic #gerry writes #TransmascSteve.

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secretmellowblog · 4 months

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MY DRAMA TEACHER STOLE YOUR LES MIS HISTORY TIMELINE AND PRESENTED IT TO 69 HIGH SCHOOLERS TODAY. she said "oh i just took all this from tumblr" and laughed and i laughed along. turns out it's You (blog i follow and respect)

69? Nice!

Really though, if any teacher ever wants to reach out to me about sharing Les Mis Facts with their students— I would be happy to help!!!!

I will also say, while that post reflects my understanding of the timeline to the best of my ability— I’m certain all the Les Mis-related timeline information is correct, and my source for that is the Hapgood translation of the novel— if it’s going to be used in a classroom setting I would want to go back and make sure I cite all my sources for the history information. I did look at official reliable sources, and it’s as accurate as I could possibly make it, but I would’ve painstakingly cited all my sources if I knew it’d be given to high schoolers XD.

But yeah we need to get the New generation into Les Mis so do make sure the teacher lets em know about the EXR fandom and that Ao3 is flooded with fanfic.

Tell her to tell her students to follow @secretmellowblog on tumblr for more high quality Les Mis content!

Or if they’re on Tiktok because they’re Youngsters, tell them to follow the Tiktok @barricadescon, which is run by me and posts fun Les mis facts! It’s the tiktok for an online Les Mis convention that donates profits to charity, and they should go to barricadescon.com if they’re into that.

Or they can follow Mellow_art8 on tiktok, if they want my Les Mis art; but it’s also just a general art blog as well.)

They can also subscribe to the Les Mis Letters substack, which sends you one chapter of Les Mis a day for year. They can also join the Les Mis Letters discord, though at this point it’s mostly adults having obscure nerdy discussions about history facts.

Anyway, I’m glad to hear my work helped 69 high schoolers! It is indeed very Nice. Tell the teacher to cite the tumblr blog so their students can get even more Weird Facts

#les mis #les mis letters #yay!

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gtnmemesandreferences · 8 months

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A highly unthorough and lacking compilation of memes and references in Gideon the Ninth

I've seen plenty of compilations of memes and references in HTN, but very few compilations for GTN. And so, behold! I hath created this. Enjoy! (All page numbers are from my paperback copy. I shall include citations for people who found various things when applicable).

Act One

p. 53: "Oh, nonsense!" said Harrow languorously. "She’s a genius. With the proper motivation, Griddle could wield two swords in each hand and one in her mouth. While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade. Am I right, Griddle?"

This is a reference to a meme dating from 2016, "I studied the blade." https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-studied-the-blade

p. 69 (nice!): Gideon realised that Harrow was trembling; little licks of hole-black hair were pasted to her pale-grey forehead with sweat, threatening to dissolve the paint. Gideon realised with a start that she was trembling and sweating in concert. They looked at each other with a wild surmise, and then started dabbing at their faces with the insides of their sleeves.

This is a reference to John Keats' poem, "On First Looking into Chapman’s Homer," from 1816.

"...He star'd at the Pacific—and all his men Look'd at each other with a wild surmise— Silent, upon a peak in Darien..." (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44481/on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer)

Special thanks to Locked Tomb References, who found this one! (https://lockedtombreferences.tumblr.com/post/616309681665736704/embed)

Also p.69: Gideon winked at her increasingly agitated companion. She said, sotto voce: “But then you couldn’t have admired … these,” and whipped on the glasses she’d unearthed back home. They were ancient smoked-glass sunglasses, with thin black frames and big mirrored lenses, and they greyed out Harrow’s expression of incredulous horror as she adjusted them on her nose.

Badasses wearing sunglasses is a common staple in fiction, but I have a source as reliable as Herodotus's (which is to say I saw a guy say they read somewhere that Muir said that) these sunglasses are a reference to Dave Strider's sunglasses from Homestuck. (https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Sunglasses)

Act Two:

p. 94: “Nooo Magnus! Don’t say we’re overcome!” moaned the nasty girl, sotto voce.

This is also a bit of a stretch, similar to the one above, but the speaking patterns of Jeannemary and Isaac may be a reference to the eponymous character in Charlie the Unicorn's speaking patterns. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKd_2vqPrmU&pp=ygUUY2hhcmxpZSB0aGUgdW5pZmNvcm4%3D)

p. 131: "Fiat lux!" If you want to talk about being improbable, let's talk about this"--a scrape of stone on stone--"being three thousand and some years older than this." A heavy clunk.

"Fiat lux" is Latin for "Let there be light," and is a reference to Genesis 1:3. (https://www.drbo.org/chapter/01001.htm)

Act Three:

p. 222 “Let me make my business plain. I have no interest in Septimus’s woes,” Harrow said. “The Seventh House is not our friend. You’re making yourself an utter fool over Dulcinea. And I dislike her cavalier even more—” (“Massive slam on Protesilaus out of nowhere,” said Gideon.)

This is a reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000's viewing of the trashy 1983 SF film, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIBBbI-55fQ)

Special thanks to u/Leoriste, who found this one! (https://www.reddit.com/r/TheNinthHouse/comments/14vsoxp/meme_reference/)

p.230 Gideon mumbled, "Harrow, you can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor," but was roundly ignored.

This is a reference to the Mean Girls quote, "Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8wrqe72YG4)

Act Four:

p. 318: Silas took an infuriatingly long drink of water. The pallid column of his throat moved. “They died on the way back to their home planet,” he said, wiping his mouth. “Their shuttle exploded. Curious, considering it was a perfectly good Cohort shuttle with an experienced pilot. This was the shuttle you had intended to commandeer, was it not?”

This might be a stretch, but could also be a reference to The Simpsons season 8, episode 14, "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show," which includes the line, "Poochie died on the way back to his home planet."

Special thanks to u/CowgirlSmut for finding this one! (https://www.reddit.com/r/TheNinthHouse/comments/14vsoxp/meme_reference/)

p. 412: Half a dozen tendrils came after her. They would have given her an interesting array of new airholes for speed, but a skeleton staggered out of the darkness and took most of the blows, jawbone crushed into powder as a tendril lashed open its skull.

This is a reference to The Simpsons, season 6 episode 15, "Homie the Clown," in which someone tries selling Homer a car with bulletholes, "for speed." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whnms4CLJys)

Special thanks to u/altacc2020 for finding this one! (https://www.reddit.com/r/TheNinthHouse/comments/lodjro/comment/go6ac2u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)

Act Five:

"The land that shall receive thee dying, in the same will I die: and there will I be buried. The Lord do so and so to me, and add more also, if aught but death part me and thee," said Gideon.

This is a direct quotation from Ruth 1:17. (https://www.drbo.org/chapter/08001.htm)

And that's everything I've got so far! If you've got references to suggest or I snagged something you think you found first without due credit, let me know! Thanks, everyone!

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darkcarnivalcomic · 5 months

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page 200, chapter 6

more lore? hmm… inch resting… i wonder who this myler guy is…

also PAGE 200 WHAT FHE FUCK?? how did i even get this far this feels so surreal. i remember reaching page 69 and being like haha nice but now we’ve suddenly hit the 200 mile marker. what the hell. anyways enjoy the Acro Gets Mad page i think it’s a very fitting one for the 200 mark lmao

#dark carnival #dark carnival art #dark carnival comic #comic page #acro #sydney #finn #chapter 6

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crepesuzette2023 · 3 months

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Your account is honestly such a blessing. I’ve found so many good Mclennon fics because of you it’s actually insane. Now for my ask, what are some good AU Mclennon fics ?

Thank you for asking! I already listed a few AU stories in my overall faves post, e.g., under J/P without the Beatles—but I didn't really focus on fully realized, different-time-different-place-different-everything-AU stories. Here are a few I loved:

in our house we never get bored (@backbenttulips): The Beatles live in a polyamorous marriage à la sedoretu (Ursula LeGuin). Enchanting and enchanted. Soothing.

a great threat (@pauls1967moustache). Yoko is a woman and an artist, and so is Paul. Theirs is the superior battle for John Lennon's apple. A battle for each other, really. I can't overstate how much this works for me. They compete for fame and artistic collaboration, not for anyone's half-hard dick. This feels like the real Paul/Yoko dynamic in many ways.

@saint-mona: You Gave Me the Word. 1958. John is troubled after his mother's death, and befriends Paul, a bookstore owner who shares a past with Julia. Paul and John become friends—and more? Sensual and tender. Younger John & older Paul are good for each other.

snugglesweaters: You Might As Well Arsk: Hilarious, uplifting, and profound epistolary/email modern AU, with excellent (written) supporting turns by Ivan and George. It does take a fucking village.

@dailyhowl: Sleeping Sand, Morning Moon : On the other end of the tonal spectrum, this is a long, dreamy and wintery novella about grieving London playwright Paul and Scottish village eccentric John, and their long, slow way to each other. Set in 1966. Contains a surprising core of Paul & Brian, and very interesting memories of Paul/Ian.

Only a Northern Song (@stonedlennon): 1963, Liverpool: Paul works in a record store (yes, for Mr. Brian), and John is a dock worker and poet. They find each other. A long, long time after reading this, I can still 'hear' the two of them talking to each other.

Thank you @javelinbk for pointing me to and why the sea is boiling hot (madamboogie)—a reincarnation fic set starting in the late 90's. I'm only a few chapters in, but it's interesting and different!

Speaking of: @javelinbk also wrote many great AU's: John and Paul as the two nice men at the flowershop (Double Fantasy), Paul as wealthy business man, and reluctant #1 son, with John as his hot mess driver (The Life of Riley), John and Paul as stepbrothers after Jim gets married to Mimi (Brother Dearest with the follow-up I love even more, because it's melancholy and romantic and complicated, and it has Mike McCartney: Father and Son)—but a recent favorite is Our Version of Events, in which John Lennon is introduced to Beatles fan fiction by May Pang, and has questions for Paul. Set in '71. I love how this one is both an ode to fan fiction and a damn good story (with a non-tropey ending).

I also enjoyed many AU stories by @unchaineddaisychain. For instance: You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (Halloween! Modern AU, Paul is John's boyfriend for the night to stick it to John's ex, very sweet morning after), We are Stardust (Brit Paul and NYer John meet at Woodstock in '69, and it's so fucking romantic), and These Nights (modern AU, slightly jaded rock journalist John unexpectedly spends a night with rising pop star Paul. Cold shower, please!)

#asks #fic recs #au fic recs #mclennon #mclennon fanfiction

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jasntodds · 1 year

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Caving In [3]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 7,023

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, hurt/comfort, a nightmare, flirting, fluff, jason and reader trauma-bonding, talks of abuse (it’s not super detailed), mentions of food being withheld, gar feels like his trauma isn’t “enough” (unrelated to the trauma-bonding), mentions of death, mentions of drug addiction, mentions of bruises

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: So, this is the chapter where I decided to change who the fic was about because I mean hi lol so this chapter is Jason heavy 😂 I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The movie came to a close twenty minutes ago, Rachel already off to her room to get some sleep but Gar and Jason are still in the living room with you asleep. Gar doesn’t want to move you, he’s never been a big fan of waking people up when they’re asleep, especially when it’s obvious they haven’t slept very much. On top of that though, he’s not sure if waking you up would scare you and then you’d burn him or something. So, he figures it might be best to just let you sleep. Jason volunteered to hang out with him for a little bit anyway.

Jason looks over and his eyes just land on you. You look peaceful and kind of nice when you’re not being a snarky bitch to him. Though, he does kind of give as good as he gets not that he’d ever admit that of course. And maybe he likes that you actually have a bit of fire in your words when you talk to him. Gar and Rachel normally brush off his mean and sarcastic comments and Dick can never be bothered. You though, you play along and maybe he thinks it’s a little fun.

“Why are you staring at her, dude? It’s weird.” Gar looks away from his phone to look at Jason.

Jason shakes his head, grabbing his own phone to scroll through Twitter. “I wasn’t staring.” He mutters, his cheeks turning a bright red.

“Yeah, you were.” Gar insists. “Don’t make it weird, she’s nice and it’s cool to have someone new around.”

“I’m not making it fucking weird, man.” Jason sighs before he looks back over, glancing between Gar and you. “You gonna go for it though?” Jason raises his brows with the question, choosing to deflect.

Gar’s eyes narrow in disbelief. “I just said don’t make it weird.” Gar’s voice goes up an octave with his words. “She’s been here a day.”

Jason chuckles more to himself than at Gar. “I’m just trying to figure out the rules. You’re my friend and I don’t wanna overstep, man.” He has this grin that absolutely says he will overstep if not told otherwise.

Gar’s forehead wrinkles with Jason’s words and if it were anyone else, maybe he’d be surprised by how fast he wants this move but it’s Jason. The same guy who uses 420 and 69 (or both together) as passcodes so Gar can’t actually be too surprised. And Gar also knows that if he doesn’t answer Jason, Jason is going to do what he wants. He’s an asshole, sure, but he’s not a half-bad friend, actually.

“I don’t know.” Gar shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes. “I haven’t thought about it.”

Jason hums. “So, I can go for it then? If I want?” Jason asks and then quickly follows up with more. “Not that I do, I’m just asking.”

“Right.” Gar deadpans and you aren’t an article of clothing they’re swapping because it’s nice or something.

You’re a living breathing human being who has the right to make your own decisions. Of course, Gar knows that’s not what Jason is getting at during this or anything. He’s asking if he can flirt or try to actually get with you if you’re interested but it doesn’t make Gar feel any better. You’ve been here a day and maybe Gar just wants you to settle in before Jason jumps down your throat about it. And, to be completely fair, Gar does think you’re very pretty but he actually wants to take the time to get know you before he decides if he’d even be interested. He’s just here having fun learning to be a Titan.

“Maybe we just let her come to us if she’s interested.” Gar proposes, a partial way to get Jason to drop it. “After, she actually gets settled.”

“Hey,” Jason defends himself, but his voice is still quieter than it normally is. “It’s just a question, she seemed to be comfortable around you is all.” Jason glances to you once more before going back to his phone. “Obviously.”

“Can we drop this? She is right here.” Gar slightly shifts in his seat, not enough to wake up you.

“She’s asleep.” Jason scoffs before looking back at Gar who just looks annoyed. “Alright, damn chill out. I’ll leave her alone for a while.”

Gar nods, not having anything else to add on the topic and Jason drops it. The boys go back to their phones and have some conversation here and there about Twitter threads and TikToks they find. Nothing substantial really comes from any of it but both of them enjoy the time. Gar actually likes hanging out with Jason like this, he hasn’t had a best friend in a long time and this feels normal to him. Turning into a tiger usually makes him feel a little freakish, especially after spending so much time at Doom Manor where they were pretty much described as freaks. It was hurtful, he just wants to be normal and having movie nights with Jason and Rachel feels normal.

It doesn’t matter how much trauma any of them have when there’s a movie on and they’re just hanging out. It’s just them and when it’s him and Jason, that’s all there is. Normalcy. Even with you, a new girl, sleeping on him. In a way, it even feels a little comforting with you laying your head on him because he’s not a scary tiger. He’s just a boy.

After another half hour, Jason leaves Gar to head to the training room. Gar tried to convince him to go to bed but Jason doesn’t listen to anyone so now it’s just Gar and you. He’s getting tired himself and he’s heavily debating on waking you up so he can go in his own bed. But, the debate doesn’t last long because suddenly, you shoot off of his shoulder, heaving for air. You sit forward, eyes wide as Gar slightly jerks away from you as a reflex.

“Are…are you okay?” He asks, leaning back over and forward to get a look at your face.

You suck in a breath, your chest heaving with every breath and your heart pounding. You barely even comprehend you’re still in the living room when Gar asks you the question. All you can do is nod and try to breathe. This is really going to be your life now? Tortured in reality by a psychopath and now tortured in a dream state by the same fucking psychopath? How the fuck is that fair? You finally escaped only to be haunted by your dreams in a place you actually kind of, sort of, feel safe in.

“Nightmare?” Gar asks, not moving from his position.

You turn your head to the right to look over your shoulder back at Gar. “Y-yeah.” You nod softly before looking forward, shaking your head. “Sorry.”

Gar’s brows furrow. “For what?”

“Uh…” No one’s asked you what you’re sorry for before. You’re always supposed to be sorry for either getting angry or upset or having a smart-ass comment. There’s always something you’re supposed to apologize for. “Falling asleep, falling asleep on you….” You pause. “Nightmare.”

“You,” Gar leans forward some more, a little closer to you to try and offer you comfort in the only way he knows how. “You don’t have to be sorry for any of that. It’s okay.”

You glance over at him and the way he looks at you make you feel like porcelain. Fragile and weak. It’s not a feeling you like very much. But his eyes are warm and kind, so kind that they make you want to tell him your whole life story without ever coming up for a breath of fresh air. And it makes you feel warm.

“Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps.” Gar offers with a welcoming but small smile.

You look over to him again, your eyes dodging his this time. You can feel the flame in your belly flickering, it wants to go out so bad. It’s been wanting to go out the last few months, the last few months you were held. At the beginning, it was bonfire in your stomach. The second even a drop of gasoline were to land, it would all blow. But the gasoline never dripped or spilled. It sat in the corner and taunted you and the flame died down. And you’re so tired of it.

You want the fight back and maybe talking about it would help you feel better but you don’t want to feel better. You want to be pissed and angry and furious and you want the fucking fire back so you can hunt the bastard down yourself. But then you look at Gar again and he’s soft. It’s like you’re this tea light and he’s a glass lamp over you. Not burning out the flame but keeping it going just enough to function.

“Um…” You pause, leaning back against the couch. “It’s just….uh…i-it’s like I’m back there again.” You admit. “A-and he-he’s right there.” You stutter while Gar watches. “J-just f-fucking taunting me, k-knowing I-I can’t do anything. Fuck.” You swallow hard, not even realizing you were practically holding your breath.

Gar turns in his spot so he can better face you, never moving away from you. “What happened?” Gar asks calmly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Gar adds on, never wanting you to feel pressured about it.

You hang your head, then shake it. He’s going to give you the look. The pitiful look you got when your mom died. It’s the same look everyone always gives, you’re guilty of giving the look, too but it makes you shift and it make you feel uneasy. You get it, feeling bad for people who experience trauma. It’s natural but you don’t find it comforting and maybe you would find it easier if he had something snarky to say. Make it easier with humor, it’s what you do anyway.

“W-what’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone go through?” You ask, pulling the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands.

Gar sighs, thinking about it but he didn’t think very long before he starts talking, thinking maybe if you know what he’s seen and heard, it’ll make you trust him enough to talk to him. “Rachel, probably.” He answers honestly. “Her mom, who wasn’t her real mom, was shot in front of her. Then, she was locked away,” Gar says. “Only for a few hours but locked away for her powers.” He adds in. “Then,” He pauses and your brows go up in surprise. “We found her real mom who convinced her to bring in her demon dad to save my life. He possessed all of our friends and then got them to almost beat me to death in front of her.” Gar lists, reliving all of it in quick images. “Trigon,” You look at him quizzically. “Demon dad.” Gar clarifies. “Killed her real mom and then Rachel killed him.”

You sit there for a second and you really thought you had it bad. Of course, what you went through was still terrible but you do not want to play trauma Olympics with Rachel that’s for damn sure. But, Rachel seems okay, weirdly enough. You aren’t sure how long ago all of that was but Rachel does seem okay and even happy which gives you the one thing you haven’t had in months. Hope.

“Well…okay.” You nod slowly, taking in the information.

“Oh!” Gar says, remembering to add more. “We were also being chased by people who were trying to kill her because of her powers.” Gar lets out a breath, his nonchalant add-in almost makes you laugh. What the fuck?

You blink a few times. “I….I don’t even know what to say to all of that.”

“Yeah,” Gar chuckles softly. “It was pretty crazy.”

“No fucking shit.” You laugh softly. “That’s fucked up.”

Gar nods. “Yeah, but she’s okay now.” Gar assures you.

“She seems to like it. This place help?” Your eyes glance to your hands and then back to Gar.

Gar nods once more. “Yeah,” He shrugs a shoulder. “I think it does.”

It’s helped him a little bit. But, he doesn’t think his trauma is worth talking about. It’s not as bad as Rachel’s or yours. It was a disease, sure his was different, but it was a disease and people get diseases all the time. Some people live and some people die because that’s how it works. He turns into a green tiger but is that really trauma? In the grand scheme of the conversation? Gar doesn't really think so. So, he keeps the idea of the Tower and the people helping him cope to himself.

“I-it was just…hell.” You suck in a breath, deciding to tell him a little bit. “I was there for a while and this,” You gesture over your face. “Was pretty normal.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “I-I, uh, I-I thought he was gonna…kill me for a while.” You swallow. “I think he wanted to.”

“I’m sorry.” Gar’s brows knit together with sympathy and there’s the look.

You can’t handle the look, not from him. Clearly, he’s seen and heard a lot but now maybe you don’t want to burden him with your shit. He’s been through his own and clearly knows Rachel’s, you can only assume he knows some of Jason’s shit, whatever it is. To you, Gar seems like the person everyone goes to with their problems and you don’t want to stick that burden on him. Not with eyes as caring and gentle as his. It breaks your heart to even be sitting here telling him anything. So, you quit.

“Um…” You shake your head “I’m sorry, I don’t wanna talk about it.” You shut down and Gar just nods.

“It’s okay.” Gar assures you as you get up from the couch.

“I’m…I’m gonna walk.” You fake a smile at him. “Clear my head. Thanks for letting me sleep, Gar.”

“If you need to talk, you can talk to me.” Gar stands up with you, worried he overstepped. “I didn’t mean to--”

“No.” You cut him off quickly. “You didn’t…it’s not like that. I….just. It’s so fucking fresh and you….” You suck your teeth, brows furrowing together as if you’re in pain. “You make me feel normal and I don’t wanna ruin that.” You divert your eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry…thank you.” You look back up at him before turning on your heels and head into the left hallway, disappearing into the shadows.

Gar watches you disappear, kicking himself. He thinks he made it worse. He’s just trying to be there for you but he’s slowly figuring out that that’s not something you want. Not in the talking about-it way, anyway. It’s like you just want to be distracted from it all which Gar can’t blame you for. He can only really imagine what happened from his and Jason’s little bit of research and what information you did give him. His heart aches for you but he’ll never push you to tell him anything. Instead, he goes to his room but he leaves the door cracked just in case you change your mind.

You find yourself wandering the halls until you reach the training room. There you find Jason back at the punching bag. You pull out the phone Dick gave you earlier today and it’s three in the morning. Suddenly, you feel even worse about falling asleep on Gar given how late it is. But, you choose not to focus on the guilt in your stomach and instead on Jason. You stand in the doorway, confused why he would train at this hour. Is he insane?

“Do you ever stop training?” You ask, arms crossed as you’re leaning against one of the sliding doors.

Jason jumps, spinning around quickly. “Fuck, how long have you been standing there?” Jason almost yells at you.

You snicker with a shrug. “Few seconds.”

“What do you want?” He asks and he’s as snarky as ever which makes you happy. It’s like he treats you normally. Not that the others don’t but you can tell it’s like they’re tip-toeing but Jason doesn’t.

You walk in just a few feet, looking around before looking back at Jason. “Was just walking around.”

“That’s fucking weird.”

Jason didn’t expect to see you for the rest of the night. He kind of figured if you woke up, you’d just go to your room, not walk around. Or maybe, you’d be with Gar but you’re here in the training room with him. And maybe despite the snarkiness, he wants you to stay. Maybe the comments will make you want to stay, for entertainment. You seem to like the challenge.

“You’re the one punching a bag at three in the fucking morning. You’re being weird, dude.” You snark with the raise of your brows and Jason deadpans before returning to the bag.

You watch him a little longer and this is your opportunity to ask him to help you. No one else is here and you can only assume Gar went to bed so it’s just you two. He’s clearly dedicated so maybe he’ll want to help anyway. If not, you figure you’ll just hold the little bet over his head.

You close the distance, walking over toward the punching bag. “You’re so….”

“Charming?” Jason glances at you as he punches the bag. “Amazing?” He punches again. “Hot?” He flashes a cocky grin and you sigh.

“I was gonna say snippy, actually.”

“You’re fucking annoying you know that?” Jason snarks.

“Mmm.” You click your tongue a grin pulling at your lips as you point a finger at him. “There it is.”

“Seriously, what do you want?” Jason stops, facing you with annoyance.

“Train me, Dick said I’m not ready.” You hold your head up, crossing your arms across your chest.

Jason pauses, the question catching him off guard. You don’t actually look like you’re in any condition to train, not that Jason really ever agrees with Dick. Bruce doesn’t think he should be Robin but Jason knows he’s ready to get back to it so in a way, Jason understands why you’re asking. Feeling ready, but the adults want to think they know what’s best. It’s shitty. But Jason likes a good fight.

“What happened to you?” The snarkiness leaves his voice as he nods his head up at you and you’re taken aback. Jason, not asking a snarky question? Now, that’s weird.

“Why do you wanna know?” Your voice is level, eyes slight narrowed.

Jason pauses. He’s actually just curious. He knows his motive for wanting to train harder and better and faster than everyone else but what’s yours? Unless yours is going after whoever did whatever it was to you. But now you have powers so you could just take them out with those. You don’t need the combat, really. Jason just wants to know and maybe he has a little more stake in it. He does care about it, even though he acts like he doesn’t. He’s not completely heartless. Plus, maybe it’ll give him bonus points.

“Curious.” Jason shrugs, eyes glancing from your socks to your face.

“You just wanna see all the trauma?” You raise and Jason shrugs, his brows raising quickly as if to be saying ‘why not’ and his nonchalant attitude with the mix of snark gives you enough reason to challenge him a little but take the risk in having to spill. You take a few steps towards him. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” You close the small distance between you standing just an inch away from him. Jason’s breath hitches in his throat for just a second as he looks to you. The look in your eyes sends a shiver down his spine and he’s ready to play the game.

“Asked you first.” Jason doesn’t move from his stance, instead he holds still, looking at you with his eyes locked on yours and he sees a grin coming to your face.

“Alright,” You take one step back. “But don’t make it all emotional or some shit.” You plop down on the floor in front of him, sitting with your legs crossed, Jason taking a breath finally.

He said he wouldn’t. He told Gar he’d leave you alone for a little while but what is he supposed to do when you initiate it? Jason is not gonna back down from that. And, he thinks it’s fun. You play the game and lean into the challenge instead of backing away. It’s only when Jason goes to play, too that you switch it up like a game of cat and mouse. It’s thrilling a little.

Jason chuckles but follows your lead. “You always sit on the floor?”

“You always in here?” You quip.

“Shut up.” Jason shakes his head but a smile still tugs at his lips. “So, spill your guts.”

“It’s not getting that deep, bud.” You scoff but match the smile.

This is what you were thinking when talking to Gar. Gar makes it feel vulnerable, talking about it. That’s not how you want to feel about it. You want to feel strong and fiery. It’s not Gar’s fault, you can tell it’s because he just really, truly cares and feels bad about whatever it is. But, Jason, it’s like he cares but only out of curiosity not because he’s trying to save you or help you.

“Mom was killed by the Joker,” You start, gauging Jason’s face as you talk. “Dad’s a meth addict, a great parental figure obviously.” You say sarcastically. “Went into foster care, Jerry.” You grimace with his name and you try to dodge the feeling of agony and fear when you say his name. “Was my foster dad if you can even call him that.” You scoff. “He wanted to make superhumans. He used me as a test subject, I think for himself to see if anything would work. I had so many things injected I lost count over the year. He kept me chained in a basement and because none of that was quite bad enough, the fucker decided to beat me, too when I didn’t show signs of powers. He’d withhold food, all that shit. I survived mostly off of chicken noodle soup. He beat me so bad, I guess he thought I was dead and dumped in an alley and now I’m here.” You keep your voice nonchalant and steady, listing off your past like some recap of a sitcom.

Jason keeps his eyes on you and he doesn’t know what to say. It’s rare to get him speechless but here he is, without a single word in his head. How is he even supposed to respond to that? It just sounds terrible and horrifying.

“How long did he keep you like that?” He settles on the question, knowing talking about the events in Gotham is a sore spot for him.

“A year, I think. Lost track a bit.” You answer with a shrug, silently begging him to have something snarky or sarcastic to say because now it’s all too real and you wish you could turn back the clock and not say anything.

“That’s fucked up. He’d just experiment on you and fucked you up cause he could?” Jason asks as if not really believe what he’s hearing. People are terrible.

“Mhm.” You hum.

“Fuck that guy, he’s a piece of fucking shit, alright?" There’s a fury in his voice this time and it makes you smile just a little bit. He’s not sorry, he just thinks Jerry is a shitty person.

“No shit.” You huff.

“It worked though, he gave you powers. Why the fuck wouldn’t you have used them?” Jason’s expression changes to confusion. “I’m not blaming you.” Jason defends his words, feeling like it might have come off a bit like victim blaming. “I’m just curious.”

“I was afraid he’d kill me knowing that it worked. I…uh, I learned how to stay calm when he’d come at me so I pissed him off really bad a few days ago. The calmer I was, the more angry he’d get.”

“You got him to do that to you on purpose?” Jason practically yells.

He’s not sure what he expected, really. He kind of just thought it got too bad one day. It lead you to that alley. He didn’t think you actually got someone to do that to you.

You nod, a feeling of shame taking over. “I couldn’t escape any other way. I knew if I could piss him off really really bad, he’d come at me like never before. I could pretend like he killed me or put me into a coma, caused a massive brain bleed, ya know? Something, he would dump me somewhere. It was that or he was gonna kill anyway.” You pause. “Backfired a little, he did come back and I guess thought throwing a few more punches would wake me up.”

“You just played dead the whole time?” There’s a pain in Jason’s voice and he thought this could turn into something of fun, quick-witted jokey conversation but he just feels like you kicked off a cliff.

“Oh, no, I was actually knocked unconscious most of the time while all of it was going on.” You nod casually.

“Fuck.” Jason lets out a breath before continuing. “That’s kind of badass though.” Jason states giving you a grin, you shaking your head and jerking backward in confusion. “You just took him beating the fuck outta you. That’s fucking crazy.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, dude’s got a hell of an arm and a kick, a-fucking-parently.” Jason’s brows raise as if to be asking for context. “Found more bruises when I showed today, got a nice boot print on my back.” A scoff leaves the back of your throat.

“Fuck that guy, alright?” Jason says, growing angry at the conversation. Who does that to someone for no reason? He kicks ass every night in Gotham as Robin but those people deserve it. What did you ever do to this guy who was supposed to protect you and keep you safe? It’s not right. “He’s a piece of shit and you didn’t deserve that shit. I'll hunt the monster down for you if I have to.”

You furrow your brows. “That’s a kind offer.”

“I’m fucking Robin!” Jason tosses his hands out, gesturing into his chest and outward again. “It’s my job to hunt those dickweeds down!”

You let out a genuine laugh. He is pretty funny actually and he’s not the Robin that let the Joker kill your mom. You actually think Jason would kill the bad guys if he were allowed to. “Mhm.” You hum. “Which is why you’re the best Robin.”

“You think so?” Jason asks, the joy in his voice makes you giggle. “I know I am but Dick and Bruce...” He pauses for a second. “They don’t think so.”

“Well, Dick and Bruce don’t know shit.” You hold your head up high, and you truly think Jason is the better Robin. You’ve seen the YouTube videos.

“Thanks.” Jason offers a sincere smile. “That why you wanna train? Hunt him down yourself kind of deal?”

“Yeah, if I ever see the piece of shit I don’t wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing it worked. I wanna beat the fuck with my bare fucking hands like he did to me.” There it is, the fire you’ve been looking for. You want him to suffer at your own hands. No one else, just you and him and you want to watch everything he worked for crash around him. You want him to be bloody and bruised and beaten like you have been for a year.

“Good, he fucking deserves it. Dick will probably hunt him down if you tell him.” Jason informs you. “He used to be a detective and he worked a lot of cases with shitty parents. I think he went out as Robin and kicked their asses.”

You smile. “Good, people who beat kids deserve what’s coming.” You laugh softly, stretching your legs out beside Jason’s and leaning back on your hands. “Your turn.”

Jason nods, pulling the leg furthest from you up so his foot is on the floor and his knee is bent while he leans back on his hands. “Dad was killed by Two-Face, mom’s a smack addict, uncle drank himself to death.” Jason rambles off as if it were nothing and your eyes squint for just a second. You’re nonchalant because it’s easier that way. Is it easier for him to be like this, too? “Gotham, right?” Jason scoffs, looks down and away from you.

“Special kind of fucked up there.” You say, not looking away from him. “I’m really sorry.” You say, your heart aching for him, something you didn’t really expect given the banter between you. “How’d you get here then?” You ask, instead of asking for details about those he lost knowing you don’t like to talk about it and assuming he probably doesn’t either.

“Caught stealing the hubcaps off the Batmobile.” Jason chuckles, his cocky grin back on his face as he looks to you, clearly proud of himself. He expects you to be impressed with his courage to steal from Batman of all people. But that’s not what your face is telling him.

Your eyes narrow and then you look up before squeezing the bridge of your nose. “Hubcaps.” Your voice is exasperated, eyes closed before looking back at him. “Fuck.”

Jason laughs, knowing what the expression is now. “What? You robbing cars?” He shakes his head. “Nah, you gotta get the hubcaps, more likely to get money from that. Less likely to get caught, too.”

“Fuck you. You got caught, too!” You glare at him.

“Because it was the fucking Batmobile.” Jason tilts his head back with a laugh. “He didn’t wanna press charges, instead, he took me in.”

“Oh, to have been so lucky.” You snark with the roll of your eyes.

“Yeah…” Jason sucks in a breath. “Sorry.”

“Nah,” You scoff with a smile. “I wish I would have been smart enough to rob the Batmobile!”

“Everyone says it was dumb.” Jason scoffs.

Bruce said it was dumb, the cop said it was dumb, Dick, Gar, Alfred, everyone but every single one of them completely neglect the need to survive. Jason's been in and out of the system his entire life. He got lucky that he didn't end up like you in all of the time he was in the system. It was lucky. He lived on the streets, no job, no GED, no diploma, he had nothing. Stealing the hubcaps off cars was how he got money for food. The Batmobile? He knew he'd get more money for it. No one wants to talk about why he did it, just that it was "dumb".

“Well, you got to move in with Batman and even if you succeeded, you would have gotten money. That’s a win-win.” You give him a smile and a laugh because you really wish you would have done it. You get it, you’re the one who gets it.

“What I said!” Jason defends.

“So, that it? Parents and guardians suck?” You pause. “So…why're you here then? I think you're a great Robin, seems a bit weird you're here." You question because you want to know what he did. If stealing hubcaps wasn't Bruce's red flag, what was it?

Jason’s face grows something sad and you’re watching, not sure what he would be sad about. He seems so happy about being Robin. What is there to be sad about? Dick said Bruce wasn’t the best, but was it that bad? Is the guy who dresses up as Batman every night actually a horrible person? Is it all just a show?

“He’s making me take a break.” Jason looks to the ground, his face settling somewhere between annoyed and sad.

You nod. “Ah, what’d ya do?”

“Well,” Jason sighs, running a hand through his hair. “There was the joyrides in the Batmobile and then riding a motorcycle in the manor.”

“I-you…I don’t know what to unpack first. Batmobile or the motorcycle. Why? For both, I guess?” You question.

Why would he risk that? Getting thrown back to the streets or worse? You run the questions through your head but you don't need to ask him because you know. It's what he does. It's what you do. You’re asking Jason to go behind Dick's back, knowing that Dick doesn't have to let you stay. It's a risk and sometimes the risk is worth it. Maybe it's genetic, to be some sort of fuck up. Or, in this case, maybe it's just environmental.

Jason shrugs. “Seemed fun, I guess.”

“You know what I think.” You point a finger at him and Jason deadpans but gestures a hand out for you to proceed. “I think he doesn’t give you enough attention.”

“You a fucking shrink now?”

“Fuck no.” You chortle. “Just an observation. Seems like you like a lot of attention.”

"And why the fuck do you think that?"

"You're a smart-ass." You chuckle as if it should have been obvious. "The risks you take, the fact everyone has something to say about you tells me you intentionally start the shit so they do talk about you. Talking about you in any context is better than being forgotten." You explain and Jason just watches you growing annoyed. He thinks he's so hard to figure out but you have him pegged in five minutes.

"Fuck you." Jason huffs. He does not like being analyzed.

"No one wants to be forgotten." Your voice is quiet and the annoyance suddenly leaves Jason with your tone. You notice the way he looks at you, not with sympathy or pity but with a genuine understanding and you deflect. "And if you keep saying fuck you, I might take you up on it." You wiggle your brows at him and Jason's jaw opens slightly, feeling as if he's just gotten whiplash.

He can play this game. He won't let you get one over on him. This is Jason's game to play and win.

"Fuck. You." Jason taunts you, leaning forward slightly.

You think it's funny. You’re just messing with him but the way he doesn't even bat an eye at it, it energizes your blood in every way. Talking and messing with Jason makes you feel so normal. He doesn't do that little dance thing that Gar does, where he's so worried about stepping on your feelings. Jason just blurts shit out and calls your bluff. It's fun.

"Tell me how you really feel." You challenge him.

Jason wants to go there because he doesn't think you'll commit to it. Maybe you'll pull away or laugh but he'll have won because he didn't back down first. It's like this silent game you're playing and Jason can't tell who the ringmaster is. He swears up and down it's him, but you take the challenge and maybe he's a little worried you'll win.

You make him feel....not useless right now. He has felt useless since being sent here. Dick didn't want him to stick around and help but he kept Rachel and Gar around. He couldn't stop Trigon, he never even stood a chance. But, with you, you don't know any of that shit. It's just you two with no expectations of anything. It's the two of you and your trauma bonding and this little game. He wants it to be a long game though, drag it out and see who wins then.

"I don't think you like attention." Jason states, your brows furrowing and you didn't expect him to be the one to back down.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re awake when no one else is. You choose Gar to hang out with. I'm guessing you did a lot of the crime at night and not just because it was easier. It's Gotham, day crime is also pretty fucking easy. Guessing you haven't told anyone else what happened because you don't want them to look at you.” Jason explains in the same way you did but this time, with a bit more bite in his voice.

You shake your head, a smile tugging at your lips. Maybe you’re also a bit transparent around him. “Mmm who’s the wanna-be shrink now?”

“Fuck off.” Jason chuckles. “Have you told anyone else? About what happened to you?”

You shake your head. “No, uh…” You furrow your brows, shaking your head once more. “I almost told Gar but….he makes it….too…”

“Real?”

“Yeah and vulnerable. Dick’s too serious about it and I haven’t talked much to Rachel. You always have a smartass comment though. Makes it feel more like a joke. And....we have Gotham in common, ya know?”

Jason nods with understanding. He doesn’t really like talking about any of it either. None of it really. It’s why he always says it so nonchalantly. It’s easier to brush it all off than boil in the feelings of sadness and regret. It’ll eat him alive if he thinks too much about it.

“Yeah, you make it easier, too.”

“Was that something nice you just said?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jason groans. He nods his head up at you quickly. “How bad are the bruises?” You raise one brow at him. “I’m not a complete fucking asshole, alright? I don’t actually want you to get hurt.”

He’s thinking of caving. He gets you and you get him. Jason doesn’t have confidence about where this will go by any means but he’s confident he can trust you. If it were Jason, he’d never fucking quit if he were told he couldn’t train. He’d be training recklessly if he had to. You, at least had the brains to come and ask him for help. You’re not dumb, you’re desperate and Jason gets it. But he doesn’t want to contribute to your injuries if they’re that bad.

You think for a few seconds. They’re not great. Most of them are a deeper shades which means they’re further away from healing but you have a few older ones that have turned lighter in color. You know those aren’t the ones him and Dick are concerned about. And you could lie to him, it’s not like he’s going to pin you down and check for himself. But that doesn’t really feel right. Especially with him being nice to you and honest.

“What’s your definition of bad?” You ask, just trying to see how well you need to answer his question.

“Do they hurt?” Jason asks, not sure how to answer it.

“Well, yeah they’re bruises.”

“You know what I mean.” Jason groans.

“Yeah, they hurt. Like walking kind of hurts and bending certain ways hurts.”

“And you wanna fucking train and make it worse?”

“Do you ever rest? If you get hurt being Robin, do you rest or do you train?”

“Fine.” Jason groans, knowing he’s lost the battle. “But you know you’re not gonna run into the guy this week, right? The tower is secure so you don’t have shit to worry about.”

Jason caves. Training helps him deal with the bullshit. It makes him feel like he has a purpose. Being Robin is the one thing he does really well and it makes him feel like he belongs somewhere, something he’s never felt before. All the bullshit that happened before, it doesn’t matter when he’s Robin and when he’s training. He wants to give that to you.

“I know but I wanna be prepared. I wasn’t prepared last time.” You answer honestly. You will never let anyone do that to you again.

“You’re fucking crazy, ya know?” Jason chuckles softly.

“So are you, bud.” You get up. “Well, good talk. Lots of trauma bonding, but I’m gonna try to go tot bed.” You opt to end the conversation just in case he changes his mind but you’re a little disappointed. You do enjoy talking to him. Just like this.

Jason pauses for a second, looking up at you. You’re a human person and you have similarities in your traumas. It’s a little refreshing in a fucked up kind of way. No one else really gets it because it’s different, having a parent actively abandon you is different than dying. In a way, Jason thinks it’s worse. His mom picked drugs over him. He wasn’t good enough to love, by his own mother, and the only one who’d actually get that here is you. But, he knows that you might also benefit from actually talking about it with someone who can offer some actual support about it. It did help when he talked to Gar about it once.

“You should talk to Gar.” Jason says from the floor as you were on your way out.

“About?” You turn to look at him.

“What happened to you.” Jason gets up from the floor.

“Why?” You think it’s a bit weird to bring that up and now. You both just said it’s weird making it feel vulnerable and real.

Jason shrugs. “Might help, dealing with it.” He sucks in a breath as if it’s hard for him to even say. He hates talking about it but Gar will just listen. He’s the one person Jason has actually had a heart-to-heart to about it.

“Afraid I might…break him.” You laugh softly. “Ya know? Like he’s already seen some bad shit and he is…. unfathomably kind. I don’t wanna ruin him.”

Jason huffs but there’s a smile peaking onto his face. “He looks at the ligature marks on your wrists whenever you’re not tugging on your sleeves. Whatever he’s imagining happened to you is always going to be worse than what actually happened.” Jason says, his voice a bit flat and you can see this is a struggle for him to say and you wonder why.

“Like in horror movies. Choosing not to show the violence because what we imagine will always be scarier.”

“Yeah, I’m just saying, he’s a good listener if you just wanna be pissed about it.” Jason chuckles. “He’ll let you bitch about it.”

You smile at him and shake your head. Everyone here wants to talk so much shit about him which hey, maybe he deserves usually. But, you see through his bullshit because you do the same shit. It’s not cold-hearted, it’s a coping mechanism. A way to protect yourselves from getting hurt again. You get him, you get it and it makes you happy because he gets you, too.

“You’re not so bad, Jason Todd.” There's a genuine sweetness to your eyes as you say it and Jason doesn't believe it.

“I am the best.” He opens his arms, palms up, the arrogant smile beaming.

You roll your eyes, feeling bubbles and butterflies in your stomach. “Yeah, sure, goodnight, Jason.” You emphasis his name as you turn to leave and it sends Jason’s heart spinning.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” His voice is actually kind as he watches you leave.

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